#and im so glad i saved these. i didn't know there were so many

[divorcedwife]

i love your chess art so much! no idea if you’ve answered this question before but do you mind sharing how you got into the game? i think it’s always really nice to hear about players’ background stories (probably since it’s such an old game and the knowledge is passed down from generation to generation)

oh thank you!! <33 i don't think i've ever talked about this, no - and even then, i really appreciate questions so i wouldn't mind answering again :-)

i think how i got into chess is kinda funny. i love memento mori art and i love the image of playing chess with death to save yourself. i wanted to use something like this in a drawing, and drew a knight with a chessboard plate armor, and i wanted to have a checkmate on there, so people who can play chess would get that. death won

but since i didn't know how to play chess, i tried to search for an example of one, and unfortunately the one i picked looked a bit silly! it was a weird set up - like there were not many pieces, a bunch of knights and almost nothing else, something like that. didn't really look like a real game anyone would play. people pointed it out in the tags and gently poked fun at my weird checkmate. and i was mortified... truly no bigger shame for me than looking ignorant in front of everyone. i thought the only way to regain my honor was to make sure this never happened again, so i had to learn. and im glad i did! once i figured out how to actually checkmate someone, i started having so much fun. i love playing very aggressive and harassing the king from the start. i don't always win but i like to bother my opponent to the max

and any time there's a chessboard in my art, i actually open my chess app to play a little game and use that to set the game in a way that looks natural. it's the kind of little detail that doesn't matter all that much and means nothing to most people, but i just love getting those tiny details right lol. for my fellow pedants out there

[skrunksthatwunk]

last minute pre-grandparent-visit room deep cleaning has revealed that within the drawer i tend to assume just has old, off generic birthday cards and theater/concert programs there are also many, many going away cards and letters and things from the last couple of times i moved away. i guess i always thought of it as such a lonely thing, and i talk a lot about how i don't think i made Real friends until recently, and not to get choked up on main or anything but i think maybe i was completely fucking wrong

[hopelessdazai]

✿ 》 Will you talk to me again?

╰⧼ 🪻 note.. ⧽ ; I don't expect this to do well because its not smut but it'd be nice !! reblogs appreciated, support your creators :)

╰⧼ ☀️ features.. ⧽ ; dazai x gn!reader, WC ; 784

╰⧼ 🌙 contents.. ⧽ ; angst, reader isn't alive, letter from dazai. he's trying very hard to keep himself stable but it's not working™.

To my dearest ______ .

It's been a while, hasn't it? I hope you don't mind me writing to you like this, it's simply been too long. I'm sure you're still angry at me, so seeing you physically isn't my best interest right now! haha, I'm sorry. you know I'm just joking around, don't you? I'd love to see you in person. I'm sure you would've punched my arm if you heard me out loud right now, wouldn't you? I'm glad I'm spared of the bruises.

what does someone put in a letter? that's what I was asking myself before I even began writing. I decided that the best way to do something like this was to just write whatever I feel true as pen touches paper. I hope it makes sense to you, at the least. if I'm pouring my heart out on some paper only for it to be misunderstood, it feels like a waste, no?

though, i'd be lying if i said it wouldn't be rather cute to see you try to fathom what I mean. did you know you scrunch your nose like a bunny sometimes when you're reading? I'm sure you're doing that now too. you'll get wrinkles very at this rate ..

but anyway, I managed to prank kunikida the other day! you remember that hair dye trick I'd told you about? I managed to break into his apartment and swap out his shampoo, at last! he came into work the next day with black hair, it was hilarious, you should've been here! he was so angry with me. beat me black and blue!

oh, _____. I got a new heated blanket for our bed, you know? it took a while to save up for it, and I had to cut out some other necessities, sure. but it makes everything so much better! I hate cold beds, I'm sure you know that better then anyone. haha, back before we moved in together when I'd break into your apartment and crawl into bed with you. I'm sorry for the amount of locks I broke, but your place was so cozy!

... you know, it's been really hard without you here. I miss you so painfully, and I don't mean to call into the void without even an echo, but its killing me to pretend I'm fine about any of this. I'm not fine with this, how am I supposed to be? I wish it was just a bad dream.

I don't want to have to write letters to you anymore, ______. I don't want to have to buy heated blankets to try and stop my arms from aching for your warmth. I don't want you to be angry with me, I'm sorry I didn't apologise to you before you were gone. I shouldn't have been so stupid.

i had so many words on my mind that I was too afraid to say. maybe if I faced myself and told you 'I love you' it would've stopped you leaving.

have you met odasaku yet? has he told you any stories of his time? I wish I could hear your voice again. I wish you could answer my questions. even to hear you scoff at my stupidity again would heal me. I'm sorry I was annoying, I just wanted your attention. it stings knowing I'll never get it again.

I can't keep repeating to myself that you're not gone. I can't keep buying your perfume and pretending that you're in the next room over. your pillow doesn't smell like you anymore.

I wish I could apologise properly. I wish I could've stopped you from leaving the house that night. I wish I could kill myself to join you and yet I know we won't cross paths again in the afterlife. you were always too good for me, ______. i was nothing compared to you.

i picked up a homeless dog yesterday. you'd always wanted a puppy, I'm sorry I never let you bring one home. I named it after you. im trying to get used to them, I promise. if I couldn't save you, I'll save your name.

I'm sorry. if I continue writing, my throat will hurt more. its strange, isn't it? crying makes your throat sore. I forgot what it was like for a while, I remember laying in your arms wondering if I'd ever have a reason to cry again. now I can't seem to help myself.

keep your wings clean for me, white looks good on you. its a shame you couldn't wear the wedding attire i wished to see you in one day. you would've looked amazing.

I'll write again, missing you is the greatest honor.

sincerely, your osamu.

[normansnt]

As you've likely seen by now, I've been reblogging nearly every Hazbin fic you have, which I apologize if that bothers you at all. I simply see a lack of the x male reader department for this show, which is ironic considering mostly all the characters are queer and so are the creators. So thank you for what you write and how well you write it! I was hoping I could make a request for a part two of a fic I rather liked "(Vox x bar tander!Male reader)" this one specifically. The reader left off having their soul contract bought and offered to be a bartender at the Vee's private bar, and I was wondering what would happen from there?

HIIIIII

THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST

Im really sorry it took so long😭

Also THANK YOU SO MUCH for the reblogs is doesn't bother me at all IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE MY WRITING💗💗

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT, I THINK IT TURNED OUT PRETTY GOOD😌

ENJOY READING LOVELY PEOPLE

Warnings: Attempted Rape, violance V@lentino

Habit of saving

as a thank you pt.2

Vox x bartender!male reader

"I just dont fucking understand why the fuck you prefer the company of a lowly bartender over mine"

You hear Valentino's yelling from the other room, again.

This was not uncommon. Since you became the bartender in the Vees manor Vox visited the bar more often than before.

You guys spent hours talking and just because of the drinks either, he barely drunk anything cuz he was busy talking to you.

However, this of course annoyed Valentino. He wanted Vox's attention purely on himself.

"I don't." Said Vox, you know, like a lier.

"Work has just been really stressful lately and I need more drinks than before."

This was all lies. But Vox was not in the mood to be taking Valentino's shit, he would much rather go get a drink with you.

"Bullshit, I know how your work is and you blame everything on it, you dont even want to fuck me anymore are you a fucking moron do you know how many people want to get with ME."

And here he goes again. Vox was a little embarrassed though. It was true that since you arrived he was never in the mood to do it with Val, but he found himself having much more sex dreams with you.

He got red at the thought of that.

"You know what, I don't fucking care, go be happy with your boy toy; but don't you dare forget that you are where you are because of me." Ended the Argument Valentino as he grabbed a bottle from above your head, and walked out of the room.

You were silent during the whole argument. You knew it was not smart to start defending Vox you tried that once and, well, Vox had to stich you up afterwards.

"Care for a drink, sir?" You asked Vox. He was still, just standing in the middle of the room looking at the door.

He felt weird. Well, not weird, happy. But that was strange. Usually he felt guilty or annoyed when Valentino stormed off after a fight, usually he wanted to go after him. But not now. Now he felt...calm. Relieved even. He really wanted to sit down and have that drink with you.

"Yes, I would love a drink, and I've told you multiple times to call me Vox."

"Yeah I know but I didn't want to risk Val still hearing it." You chuckled.

"So, the usual, Vox?"

"Obviously." He answered back.

"Are you ok?" You asked as you poured his drink. You two were close enough for this not to be an awkward question. You were the bartender, you have comforted him after a night of drunken crying and put him to bed multiple times. He always asked you to stay. You never did. You just didn't feel ready yet.

"Getting better by the day, his antics don't affect me as strongly anymore." He commented calmly.

"I'm glad." You gave him his drink and you two continued talking.

And you talked, long into the night. Vox got a bit drunk again.

"All right mister I think it's time to get you to bed." You said smiling softly as you were about to jump from behind the bar and help him to his room.

"I can take care of him." Came a creepy calm voice from the door way. You saw Valentino.

He had a fake smile on his face. You knew this was trouble but he was kind of your boss.

"All right, sir." You just answered quietly, as Val took Vox and started to take him to his room.

"What-no, you-- (Y/N)--I, don't"

Vox mumbled drunken.

When they left the room you had a silent debate with yourself.

Yes Val was your boss. But you knew that taking advantage of someone while they're drunk was not below him.

"Fuck it" you mumbled to yourself as you jumped from behind the bar and tried to quietly run after them.

Thankfully you found them when they were about to enter the room.

When they got in you made sure to put your foot between the door and the frame so it doesn't close.

You peered into the room and you saw Val throw Vox onto the bed.

"You fucking whore, you couldn't keep your hands of the cute bartender boy could you."

He started angrily as he stepped onto Vox's screen, breaking it. You already wanted to barge in there when you saw this but when he started unbuckling his belt, thats when you snapped.

You jumped on Val, literally. And while the man might be powerful he had close to no muscles so he crumbled under you.

You knew you had close to no chance of winning. But you didn't care. You had to save Vox.

You tried to cut off Val's breathing by holding onto his neck for dear life. You might have been physically stronger he was still an overlord. A very powerful one.

You expected to be thrown down onto the floor any minute when the struggling finally stopped.

Your eyes opened widely as you hurriedly got off of Valentino.

You started panicking. What the fuck did you just kill an overlord? No, no there is no way he is so powerful why didn't he stop you.

You kneeled down and checked for a heart beat.

When you felt faint beating a boulder fell off your shoulder.

"Thank fuck" you commented to yourself. He probably just passed out.

But still why didn't he stop you.

You thought about it a but when it hit you. He was probably batshit drunk himself. You saw that when he walked away from the bar he barely managed to walk straight.

You were still panting.

You looked over at Vox and a strong feeling of sadness filled you.

You stepped over Vals passed out form and lifted up Vox.

He was lighter than you thought. You carried him all the way to your room where you knew you had a first aid kit.

Sure you could have just bring the first aid kit to him but you were not going to leave him alone with Valentino jot even for a second. Not even when they're both passed out.

After you put Vox's screen back together and batched him up you laid him down onto your bed.

This gave you time to think things through.

Even you couldn't explain to yourself why you cared about Vox this much.

Its true you have become very close during your time working here.

But there are people who you have known longer yet do not love as much as him.

...love?

You love him?

"(Y/N)"

While you were occupied with your thought you didn't notice the time. It was morning already.

"Yeah, Vox?"

"What the fuck happened?" He asked as he started touching his patched up screen.

You told him everything. You also told him that you will very likely have to leave because once Val wakes up...you don't want to know what he'll do to you.

"He can't do anything your soul is mine you are under my protection." He said firmly. He sat silently after that. Like someone who is contemplating something.

"Can I ask you something?"

He asked after a long silence.

"Of course"

"Why did you save me?"

This surprised you.

"Well, I mean I know what Val is like and...I just did what any normal person would do really-"

"No. You know no one in hell would to that for the demon that owns their soul. Not to mention this was the second time you saved me."

"...I honestly don't know why I did it the first time; I guess I just felt like...I dont know"

"And the second time."

You couldn't answer this. You knew the answer but you didn't want to say it.

"Well, you are a nice boss you treat me with kindness and-"

"No one would attack a powerful overlord just to safe their boss who is just 'nice'; try answering truthfully this time."

Well fuck. You knew Vox was a smart man but that didn't help you in this situation.

"I..." you didn't know what to do. You could come up with another lie but he would detect it no problem.

"I love you" you blurted out before you could stop yourself. The moment the words left your lips you smacked your hands onto your lips.

"I'm sorry sir I will leave-"

Vox took your hand in his when you wanted to stand up and pulled you towards him.

With one swift movement he placed his lips on your in a tender kiss.

You have never kissed a screen before but you were pretty sure it wasn't supposed to be like this.

His lips were soft but cold. It was an amazing kiss.

"Oh, you're not going anywhere." Said Vox while he let out a little chuckle.

"Because I love you too."

[writingstoraes]

miles away 🛫

pairing: charles leclerc/fem!reader

type: instagram imagine, social media au

notes: believe it or not this is another unattended draft i decided to give some attention so, lmk what u guys think!

about: you and charles are in a long-distance relationship, but not for long!

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, lorenzotl, carlossainz55, and 452,195 others

yourusername supporting the red team even from miles away, even if i have to wake up at 3 am most of the time ❤️

charles_leclerc I have saved you so many paddock passes...

yourusername à bientôt mon amour :) Will see you soon, my love

lecslove queen of destroyed sleeping schedule 🤭

yourusername that's exactly what i am!

scuderiaferrari We thank you for your support even when you're far from the team, Y/N 🙏

arthurleclerc Charles keeps glancing at the garage like you're there please just fly out here

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, pascale_leclerc, lilymhe, and 531,953 others

yourusername copped some new ferrari and cl16 merch in spirit of race week! wishing you the best from here, charles_leclerc 😘

charles_leclerc J'aimerais que tu sois là, mon supporter numéro un ❤️ Wish you were here, my number one supporter

landonorris Your reunion when????

cl1655cs y/n outdoing it in the ferrari and gf department im afraid

luvermilton the day y/n and charles finally get together in person then the world will achieve peace

tayspop they've been together before! i think they've gotten together twice but for short periods of time cause y/n's work requires her to be in another country so they're in long distance!

hamilecs CUTEST COUPLE

charles_leclerc

liked by alexalbon23, maxverstappen, yourusername, and 1,203,943 others

charles_leclerc More than a year since we last saw each other in person - I miss you more than ever and I love our little traditions that keep me sane 🤍

lestappensz FAVE COUPLE

landonorris Please get together again you guys are actually my parents

sainzchamps i'm just gonna say what everyone's thinking: we need a charles and y/n reunion

yourusername you're just saying this cause the next race is at 2 am here

charles_leclerc I know you'll be watching, you love me too much yourusername afraid so 😣

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, lorenzotl, joris__trouche, and 342,294 others

yourusername charles' facetime sagas: pick your fighter 📱 i have so many of these because we never let a day pass by without a call, even if it's only last less than a minute. missing him a little more today.

lecsferrari THE 3RD PIC THANK U QUEEN

landonorris Parents...

charles_leclerc Booking a flight right now ✈️

yourusername not if i beat you to it

carlossainz55 So that's why he went back inside the yacht

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, landonorris, pierregasly, and 1,249,381 others

charles_leclerc Biggest susprise and blessing of today yet: I never have to be away for so long from the love of my life. Glad to have you back, my love ❤️

yourusername still can't believe you didn't believe lando when he said i was waiting at the airport

charles_leclerc He's pranked me about seven times I was just being real 🤷

landonorris MY SECOND PARENTS TOGETHER AGAIN?

yourusername i'm literally just a year older than you

lestappenraces LOVE IS ACTUALLY REAL

livelovelecs wait omg y/n is staying?

charles_leclerc Yeah, not letting her go anytime soon 😊

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, lilymhe, charles_leclerc, and 452,149 others

yourusername hardcore cl16 fan finally watching her favorite driver ever race on track in person 🏎️

charles_leclerc Excited to finally have you here, baby

yourusername catch me at the garage then 😘

arthurleclerc Finally! Weepy Charles no more

pierregasly Make sure to drop by the Alpine garage too, Y/N!

yourusername

liked by landonorris, lorenzotl, pascale_leclerc, and 763,294 others

yourusername from being miles away to having you next to me, biggest upgrade so far 🤍

carlossainz55 The ants are biting all of us...

landonandos what a view (i'm so jealous)

charles_leclerc Do you have a crush on me, I'm already taken

yourusername yeah i heard your girlfriend is really pretty 🤭

----------

tagging: @slytherheign, @honethatty12, @siovhanroy, @fdl305, @iloveyou3000morgan, @cxcewg, @sassyheroneckgiant, @ang3licho3, @pitlanebabe, @riverdalexvixens, @msliz, @boherahpsody @storminacloud @leclercdream (if anyone else wants to be a part of my taglist or if i forgot anyone that asked to be tagged, pls lmk by replying or sending me a message hehe)

notes: aaaa its been some time since i posted something but yeah my classes start in less than 2 weeks so im trying my best to go through all the requests and drafts i have hehe lmk what u guys think!

[strwberri-milk]

Just read one of your ao3 fics and immediately came here. Could you possibly do Kaeya's first reaction to reader squirting for the first time?

ooo nice!! i didnt konw if people would really see my tumblr from my ao3 so im glad to hear that <33 also i. literally just accidentally posted this so people who sent asks before this/a few days ago YES i have your asks i just forgot to save this as a draft im sorry ;-;

One thing about Kaeya is he is incredibly diligent in whatever he does. He does everything to 100%, even if it doesn't seem like it. What his priorities are is an entirely different matter.

This is doubly so whenever it comes to you. He adores you with every fiber of his being, loving to be around you and spend time with you and learn what makes you laugh and smile. Making you happy is the only thing he thinks he's okay with doing for the rest of his life.

When you first began to spend nights at his place he liked to try and rile you up, see what kinds of things get you going and how to make you a flustered mess. It was a fun past time of his and he really quite enjoyed it.

Once you started having sex with him you realised fully the true extent of his devotion to you. He used his body to make you melt under his hold, desperate for more and more of him. It didn't matter how much you pushed against him, as long as you didn't tell him no, he had no issues working over the edge over and over again.

His favourite was to see how much overstimulation you could take after a bout of edging before the only thing you could say was his name, body shaking as sweat ran down your skin that he couldn't help but kiss. The way your hands trembled in his as he held you could make him rock hard in an instant, gently nosing against you with the light ask of "again?" in that soft husky voice you could never resist.

All of his experimentation paid off one night in a big way, and the only way you could describe his reaction was excited. You knew in you'd never rest again after this joint discovery, but the way he pulled you into his chest made you not mind too much.

"Fuck, you're doing so good," Kaeya pants into your ear, ramming into your used hole over and over.

Your nails are scratching against his chest, pressed up against him in a way that would be uncomfortable were it not for him stealing any coherent thought you could have with the way he's fucking you. It's endless, almost maddening but you can't help the way your body reacts. His hands hold your hips still, forcing you to take whatever it is he wants to give you as your knees weakly rest against his waist.

"Mmn, Kaeya -" you keen, feeling another orgasm beginning to crest.

He was fighting for this one, feeling you on the precipice for a while now but for some reason, he wasn't yet able to push you over the edge. Now that it was coming again, he had to just have it. Your walls were clenching so tightly over him and you were biting your lip again, trying to hide your moans from him but he would just have to ignore it for now.

Kaeya is relentless, sitting up and pushing your thigh towards your chest so he can mount you better, watching as your body bounces against the sheets hungrily. There's nothing he loves the sight of more and when your expression begins to shift he knows he has you.

He fucks you through the orgasm, chasing his own peak as he feels your arousal soak his pelvis. The sound you make and the feeling is so erotic it makes him cum on the spot, almost collapsing onto you as his hips continue grinding into you slowly.

"You fucking squirted," he huffs into your ear, almost offended you held out on him.

"Why are you mad at me?!" you retort, brain too fuzzy to think right as you smack his face in retaliation.

"Have you never done that before?" You shake your head and an evil grin spreads across his face as he flips you over, pulling your back into an arch as he manages to get his half-hard cock inside of you.

"Really? I'll see how many times I can make you do it then," he practically growls at you, brutal pace starting up again.

[oliverstarksbae]

Picked up pieces

♡ hi, this is my first ever one shot, so this might be bad, but I hope you enjoy 😉

♡ summary: in which they realize they are made to pick each other pieces

Evan buckley was a player but that was before he met (y/n) she very much was the complete opposite "the ray of sunshine type of girl" So why did she fall in love with him beacuse behind the bad boy act was someone who was hurt and needed some one .

Now it was a normal Saturday he was at work she was at home doing some house work at there shared home made some food read a book and catch up on her favorite show

It had now hit 11pm Evans shift does not finish till 2 so she went to the living room and saw the news.

When she click channel 8 she heard "this is a live broadcast of a horrific hotel fire so far many firefighters are having a though time helping." said a red hair woman

(Y/n's) mind spiraled of what she heard but then took a worried breath beacus the first thing the she thought was ok maybe this is a different firehouse in the 118 area beacuse they were busy

She tried and tried to belive that but then she saw the 118 written on the firetruck that's when she panicked and started to pace around the house with her mind full of worry but it was still not his time to get off so she decided to look at her phone every 5 seconds for the time he gets off.

Evan buckley was stressed to say the least first he was trapped where there was a huge fire which he got out of beacuse he thought of who he cause the most for and how if he did not get out how many people would have been devastated

Then he was not able to save someone today which hurt worst then he thought it would.

He went on his phone and called (y/n) by pressing the contact lover girl <3 ❤️

Then the first thing he heard was, "OH MY GOD EVAN ARE YOU OK I WAS SO WORRIED I SAW ON THE NEW-"

"I'm fine" he replied with not so nice but not that serious tone still in shock on what happen

"Ok let me know when you get home E I love you" said (y/n)

" Yeah see you bye" he said not realizing that he did not say I love you back

(Y/n) on the other hand was confused but decided not to think much beacuse maybe he was tired?

*A few minutes later *

A knock sounded on the door she rushed up to it and ran to evan the give him a hug

"Oh my god, evan, I was so worried. I'm so glad you're ok." she pulled him into a hug, but then he started shaking, and it lok like he was going to cry?

"Evan are you ok? Ok-i-I- need you to calm down fallow my breathing ok?" He agreed while shaking and tears slowing coming down his face

"Baby, I need you to tell me why you are crying. Are you hurt-" he gulped and said, "No-no im-not"

"Ok did something happen?" She asked

"Yes-yes-some-thing-did," he said

"Ok, what happened? I need you to tell me when you're ready, ok?"

"I w-as g-etting some-one an-d we put h-Im on the gurny and in the amb-ul-an-ce he cod-ed" he said it while it replaying in his mind what happened

" E oh my God it's ok you did the best you can and you saved many people ok I love you I want you to know that"

"B-ut I didn't save them I ki-lled hi-m"

"Evan buckley do not think that way you did the best you can and your ability to risk your life every day for strangers now I think you should go take a shower and get ready for bed"

He replied with a happy gentle smile

After everyone was done they both hopped

Onto bad a cuddled she being to big spoon

And slowly he fell asleep but before he said.

"I love you so much and thank you for being there for me"

"Of course I am there for you now I'm tried so goodnight"

"Good night"

Before she fell asleep she thought about what she said and she knew he was hurt plot but she really didn't think it was bad enough for this to happen but she realizedThey were made for each to pick up the pieces other people broke

[mrinafria]

Just last night I was sitting there going through my edit drafts, and I looked at this scene, to notice all these things Seon Jae does before/during the live radio call.

Really wasn't going to write about OG Seon Jae after my last post on him. I never knew I had such a masochistic side to me until Lovely Runner because all I've done since this show started is go back to rewatch episode 1-4, over and over and over and over again as if this was a hell loop I created for myself.

There's hope, anticipation, a bit of excitement too. He will hear her voice. Again. He will get to talk to her. For the first time. Yeah. The OG Seon Jae never got to talk to Im Sol. He admired her, crushed on her, liked her, observed her, tried whatever he could as a 19yo to save her, but he never, ever got to talk to her. This is the very. first. time. he's able to have a conversation with her.

But she doesn't pick up. And he has to put a leash on his emotions in those few seconds because this version of Ryu Seon Jae stopped showing his true emotions long back. Ah, this was the only chance I had. I wish I could talk to her. I wish I could hear her voice. I wish I could know how she's been doing. Just once. Just this one time.

He introduces himself using his name. Not along with his band name, which is the usual practice, mind you. And a very little pause before going "Do you know me?"

Sometimes when you long for a person, crave for their voice, their smile, their presence in your life and your world, you desperately want to be present in their world too, no matter how trivial your presence or your existence might be to them. Seon Jae hoped she would remember; even if she didn't consider him her savior (which he never thought he was) he desperately wanted some semblance of familiarity in her voice, even if it was out of nothing but resentment. Maybe even something as painful as How dare you call me.

And she does share her resentments, not towards Seon Jae the 19yo boy who she doesn't remember, but Ryu Seon Jae the idol, along with everyone present there, for putting her through this misery, triggering her worst trauma and twisting the knife in her wound that has already driven her to the brink of ending it all. Everyone is uncomfortable here, except for this one guy. He's back to reliving that incident that forever changed her life, his life and brought them to this moment here. He is reminded of just how big of a failure he is, for failing this one person he never wanted to fail. He is reminded how a moment of indecision/inaction on his part led to the person he loves the most to be this miserable. In this moment above, you look at him and realize it's no longer Ryu Seon Jae; it's the 19yo Seon Jae, the one at the reservoir, the one who kept chanting mianhae to an unconscious Im Sol, the one who waited on that bench while she underwent surgery--clutching on to the watch in anguish as if that was the only thing keeping him from falling apart--the one who stood by her hospital door, listening to her screams while shattering into a million pieces inside. It's the 19yo Seon Jae who would be haunted by her screams and live for the remainder of his brief life in extreme guilt and regret mixed with intense longing, until he meets his untimely demise on that fateful night.

I often wonder if he could sense it from her voice on the call. Just how close she was to the edge, how she was probably going to do something that very day right after the call ended. Was it because he felt her pain as if it were his own? You see him springing to action right when we think it's over, as if he is desperate to help her, any. way. he. can. You see how restless his eyes get all of a sudden? He likely wants to say so many things to her. Sol-ah, I'm glad to hear your voice. Sol-ah, I'm sorry. Sol-ah, I hope you are okay. Sol-ah, I'm grateful you are here. Sol-ah, I'm really sorry I couldn't do better. I'm so sorry I failed to wake you up. I'm sorry I let you miss your stop. I'm sorry I didn't reach you sooner. I'm sorry I couldn't be more careful. You can hate me all you want. I'll live the rest of my life being sorry to you. You don't have to forgive me. I'm fine as long as you're okay, you're fine, you're happy. Sol-ah, I miss your smile. I miss the sound of it. I miss knowing you're happy somewhere, even if I am nowhere in your somewhere. Sol-ah, thank you. Sol-ah, please, please live.

But oh, he can't say any of that to her now. So all he says is "Thank you, for living. The ones by your side will thank you for that". And yes, he means himself.

He wanted to be the umbrella she once was to him, the gift she has been to him all his life, both literally and figuratively. And because Ryu Seon Jae is a person who will receive the affection/love you give with the utmost appreciation, increase it 10x more and return it to you gift-wrapped with sparkly ribbons, he chooses to be her umbrella this way, the only way he can.

He wanted to pull her out of the reservoir, literally and figuratively, so she could live. He didn't mind spending all his life stuck in that reservoir himself.

This was supposed to be a response to @thedeathdeelers rewatch post here and as usual, it ended up being a mess of feels (why do I even try really) I swear atp I feel like we're the same person watching feeling the same things lmao. You, don't ever shut up about this show please :')

p.s. I love writer Lee Si Eun for ultimately wanting to save THIS OG Ryu Seon Jae, and therefore initiating the memory flashback with pieces from this timeline. Although my heart will forever ache for this OG boy, it finds some comfort in that.

[astarionancuntnin]

Die For You (Epilogue)

summary: a year after their confrontation with the corrupted lords, a fleeting thought crosses astarion's mind as he watches you admiring the crack of dawn.

rating: E

word count: 4.5k

pairing: astarion x you (fem!reader)

cw: 18+. time skip, fluff (in my angsty fanfic? its more likely than you think!), emotional smut. full list on ao3

a/n: gods, what a ride! this was my very first long fic, and im very happy with how it turned out, considering i had NO idea how this would end up when i first started it! this ending was one of three, based on the poll yall have taken on the second chapter. i hope it lives up to your expectations and im looking forward to all the feedback! this is not my only work, if you wanna be tagged on my other works, feel free to let me know and ill add you to the tag list. thank you all for sticking along! <3

Masterlist

previous chapter

read on ao3

or keep reading down below~

You're part of the dawn where the light comes from the dark

You're a part of the morning and everything matters

And we are, an atom and a star

You're a part of the movement and everything matters

-

It has been a year since your transformation. A year since you officially died and came back as Astarion���s dark consort; his bride, his eternal love. Since the incident with the corrupted nobles, you’ve only grown stronger, as much as a vampire – and he couldn’t be more proud of you – than as a couple.

Your return among his court was gradual. You were reluctant at first: the lingering fear from the dreadful soiree you experienced still affected you, so Astarion let you watch from the shadows; he would never force you to do something you didn't want to. It's only after two more months that you asked if you could attend, and only if you could stay by his side; your social anxiety wouldn't let you be alone in a room with so many strangers without feeling as if you were asphyxiated. He was beyond thrilled by your request, as he wanted nothing more than to introduce the whole world to his beloved.

It took some more time, but you found yourself joining in on discussions with lords about the state of the city and its economic state. Your teachings were buried deep in your memory, but you retained the most important parts of them, using those to show your knowledge and bring forward ideas to save the city from its downfall following the mindflayer attack. To your surprise, you found yourself right at your place within the high society; it was in your blood after all, and what was the point of running from it when you were clearly a natural? You found out that it was never your title that you dreaded, but rather the association to your parents and contributing to their schemes — something you were glad to not be a part of anymore.

The change was almost seamless: one day you were attached to Astarion's arm, never leaving his side, and the next, you were strolling through the crowd, knowing everyone's name, their occupation, and how influential they were. While Astarion was able to persuade more nobles to ally with him, you’ve been very successful at swaying people to your advantage, using your charms and wits to redirect power from the right people for the good of the city; together, you’re considered the strongest couple in Baldur’s Gate.

You proved yourself countless times, and he was always delighted to present you as his partner.

His equal.

After yet another successful night of dancing and socialising, one where you had convinced a neighbouring lord to fund an orphanage for the children who had lost their parents in the attack, you met up with your lover in your chambers to celebrate the news. In truth, everything you accomplished was a great reason to celebrate.

To see you act with the might of a Lady, smart and witty, and use every tool you had to your advantage made him swoon over you, and one of the best ways to express it was to worship you in bed, spending hours and hours devoting himself to you.

It’s something you thought you would struggle with — the intimacy after the violence you had endured — but you found yourself easily melting in his embrace once you were back at the palace. Just like that first night you spent together and he had let you guide that dance; upon your return, he let you take control until you were the one asking for him to take you however and wherever he wanted, how you grew to crave his touch, the look in his eyes when a sinful thought was shared across your connection, and the faint blush you could spy on cheeks and ears as he painted his vision of you via your bond. The endless teasing throughout the evening sure made the meetings more interesting, and less dreadful, if you had to admit it.

After a great season of events, Astarion cancelled all his meetings for the next tenday to devote his attention to you, and you only. No one was to disturb either of you unless they had a death wish.

And the night of that last meeting, any restraints had broken down, when you almost threw yourself at each other as soon as your last visitor had left the palace. It started out in the hallways, but you were quickly brought into his room to have the privacy you required. You spent the remainder of the night in bed, switching from making love to cuddling, until you were back to straddle him for more; unable to leave the other’s side or even spend a second without your bodies touching.

He kissed each and every part of your body, showing his devotion to you in such a delicate manner that turned you to putty in his hands, embracing away any pain your body had gone through. This past year, he had been the most attentive lover; always in the moment with you, making sure that your eyes met as his hips collided with yours, sharing the same breath that united you both, body and soul. As your bodies fused and you both came undone, you could sense the love, the utter adoration he had for you. Both of you grounded the other and reminded each other that you were not the result of your past; only you chose what to make of it.

There was no one else in the world who could understand you better than each other.

It’s only when you noticed dawn approaching as you nuzzled into his chest, that you realised how long you had been indulging in the other. You chuckled and commented on how you both could use some sleep, since if one of you was tired, the other would be too, and really, how impractical it would be to have you both incapacitated at once.

He took a look at you as he lazily caressed your hair and that’s when he was reminded of the one thing that had been on his mind these last few months. The one thing he dreaded, but couldn’t avoid anymore.

“There is a way, you know…” he said, his voice soft. “To sever the bond. Between creator and consort.” He pauses as you lift your head, frowning as you meet his gaze, and for a second he doubts if he should carry on, but quickly pushes the doubts aside; you deserved to know. To have a chance to decide for yourself, without any ultimatum.

“It is mostly painless,” he continued, “You would remain as you are, a full fledged vampire, but we wouldn’t share our connection anymore; no more mental discussion, no more shared sensations.” You looked at him with a thousand questions in your eyes, as this was the last thing you expected this morning. “I am willing to go through the procedure for you, should you desire it.”

You remained silent through your blinking, until you finally found the words that fought to get out. “You would… really do that?”

This proposition felt so unlike the Astarion who once had you chained up in his dungeons, something that he had agreed had been, and you quote, ‘impolite’, since you last spoke about it. He didn’t regret it — you wouldn’t be in his arms otherwise — but he supposed there could’ve been a better way to talk to you at the reunion.

“As much as I want to keep you all to myself, I can’t bring myself to keep you bound to me after what you’ve been through. It… wouldn’t be fair for me to make that decision for you. I want you to have the chance to make the choice yourself.”

You scanned his expression, and although you saw the sincerity, you also sensed grief. Breaking your bond would sever any type of connection between you both. A part of you would die along with it, and you would lose the possibility of lingering in each other's mind. Even though you understood his intentions, it didn’t make sense for him to propose this when he finally had you to himself. Against your best judgement, you peeked into his mind, searching for an explanation, and what you found completely shattered you.

By offering this to you, Astarion understood that there was a chance you might just… leave. With nothing holding you back, linking you to him, he thought you had no reason to stay. That the sole reason keeping you here was this bond, and even with how close you had become, how much you had grown together in your relationship, how utterly in love you were — in that moment, under all the false confidence, you saw right through him; he was convinced that once the bond was broken, you would leave. Run away from this mess that had been life at his side, and find someone who truly deserved you, saw you for your worth. That you could only degrade yourself if you stayed after what he had put you through. He didn’t believe for a second that you would continue to put up with this life if you had the choice, and yet, here he was proposing it to you, offering you this way out.

You gave him a soft smile, a reassuring one that you hoped carried the intention you had.

“I… would like that.” He nodded, understanding that this was a possibility, and he hoped you would take this opportunity, if only for your own sake, but it didn't hurt any less. “But I do have a condition.”

He smiled sadly, his features softening at hearing you bargaining, a bittersweet reminder of how all of this started. “Anything for you, my dear.”

It’s the warmth of the sun’s embrace that stirs Astarion awake this morning. Gods, he will never tire of it. If only for this reason, his ascension was well worth it, and no one will ever convince him otherwise.

You let your minds connect, telling him your request through your bond, and when you saw the light sparkle in his ruby eyes and his face light up, you knew there was nothing in the world he would like more.

-

That, and seeing his reflection again. He's lost count of the times he spent admiring himself; pausing at every mirror he had meticulously installed around the palace, stealing glances at his reflection, and lingering at the colour of his deep ruby eyes. Those same eyes that had sealed the fate of so many unfortunate souls; these deadly, beautiful weapons, that keep helping him charm the right people. How he went two hundred years without enjoying the sight of himself has him completely astounded. Needless to say, this was an issue no more, and long gone were the days of misery; Nearly two years later, he had everything he ever wanted, at long last.

Everything, and yet his most prized possession remained this little human fighter turned bride.

Really, the only person he ever truly wanted, that he ever loved, even. A feeling that had felt most foreign once upon a time. He never thought he could experience such a strong emotion, something that was forbidden to him just over three years ago — something he would’ve considered a weakness — turned into his greatest strength. A feeling that overwhelmed him to the point where he couldn’t restrain himself from physically expressing it; taking his dark consort in every room, every surface of the palace, until they were both panting, eyes half-lidded and lost in one another. That same feeling that would now have him chanting out her name all night long as he devoted himself to her; her body, her pleasure, her desire for him. How utterly blessed he was to have her just as enamoured for him as he was for her.

As he finally awakens from his reverie, he quickly picks up on the empty spot next to him. Curious, he thinks, she was never the early bird. When he lifts himself on his elbows, that's when he sees her on his balcony, and he takes the time to admire her; his consort, his love, still by his side through it all, blessed by the rising sun’s warmth. It took over a year more after their engagement, as Astarion couldn’t believe her decision to stay, but he finally got over the fear of losing her. After everything that had happened, and the opportunity she was given, she chose to stay and have a life with him. After everything, she still loved him just as deeply, and that day at the altar, she promised to spend the rest of her undead life showing him just how much she did love him.

Content with the sight of her, he finally gets up to join her on the balcony, without bothering to dress up. He sneaks up on her, snuggling her from behind, his hands wrapping around her waist, while he leaves playful kisses along her neck and shoulder to greet her.

“Mmmh, hello my treasure,” he murmurs in the crook of her neck. “Can’t sleep?”

“I was just admiring the sun,” she hums. “It’s funny, I never really bothered to appreciate it until I thought I could never be under its light,” she takes a deep breath as she closes her eyes, taking in the warmth she was basking in. “I never quite realised how beautiful this world is.”

She sighs in his embrace, but it's almost a moan, as she pushes back against him for more contact, “I didn’t think I would disturb you from your precious beauty sleep.”

He can hear her smile through her mumbling, and he smiles in return, “It’s your sleep I’m rather worried about dear.” His kisses linger on her neck, over the bite marks he birthed upon her skin an eternity ago. “And I think you should join me back in bed to remedy it.”

She laughs, “I’m not sure your idea of rest coincides with mine,” she turns around to face him and rests her hands on his bare chest. “Actually, I rather believe you will wear me out more than anything.”

He smirks as he presses her against the edge of the balcony, lifting her nightgown up before propping her up to rest atop it, guiding her legs to wrap around him. “Do you really think so little of me? That I would drag you to bed only to satisfy my carnal desires?”

“Well,” she rolls her eyes as she smiles, “you haven’t given me a reason that proves you would do otherwise.”

She wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her, and in the same movement, he wraps his arms around her waist and leans into the nape of her neck, resuming his sweet attention. When his smile widens, he feels the creases in his cheeks, depicting the countless moments of happiness she brought him since she has blessed him with her company.

“I assure you, my love, my intentions were most pure,” he purrs.

She tilts her head aside, offering him more liberties with her neck. “Were they now? Well, if you say so, then I’m sure I can trust you to carry me to bed where I shall resume my rest.”

“Ah, but I’m afraid the offer has expired. You see,” his finger hooks the string of her nightgown, pulling it down, “now, all I can offer,” he pulls down the other one, revealing your breasts to the morning breeze, “is a morning spent fulfilling our matrimonial duties.” “Matrimonial duties?” She exclaims ironically. “What unholy thoughts have you got in mind, I wonder.”

“I could show you, if you would indulge me,” his kisses over her skin become sloppy, his teeth softly grazing her skin while his tongue leaves a faint trail of saliva from her shoulder up to her ear, playfully nibbling it, while one hand reaches for her breast and the other finds its way in the heat between her legs.

“Ah– Astarion…” Her playful tone is replaced by soft moans as he takes a salacious pleasure in touching her in her most sensitive spots.

“What’s that, dear?” His fingers slide against her folds, not yet daring to dip further.

She groans, “You are incorrigible.”

“And yet, I don’t hear you asking me to stop,” he pinches her nipple between his fingers with the hand massaging her generous chest, while his other hand brushes over her clit, lingering near her entrance but intentionally avoiding it. As he hears her ragged breath, he pulls away, cutting any contact between the two of them, and languidly sucks on his fingers to taste her wetness, while his gaze focuses on her, before releasing his fingers with a pop. He tilts his head, with a playful look in his eyes, “Unless that’s what you want?”

She looks at him with lust clouding her vision, barely containing herself, “If you intend on teasing me, my lord, I hope you know what you’ve got coming for you.”

He leans back, assessing the vision of his consort completely lost in her need for him, with a salacious smile tugging at his lips, “My, my, is my little love threatening me?”

“Oh no,” her hands sneak into his hair to grab a handful of it before lightly pulling back and leaning into his ear, murmuring, “This is a promise.”

She lets go of his hair, leaving her hands wandering, and when their eyes meet again, they are darkened by their shared passion for each other. His voice comes out deeper, as he closes the distance between them, their lips now but a whisper apart.

“Then I believe I should make haste to tend to your needs, my lady.”

Their lips finally meet into a passionate kiss, the tenderness of it even surprising Astarion — considering the eager tone she had previously used — but he melts into it, pouring all of his longing into the kiss, just as she does when her hands pull back to hold his face closer. He picks her up from the edge of the balcony and carries her back into their room, where he lays her out on their bed and removes her nightgown, slowly unravelling her soft skin to the morning afterglow. The sight of her, bare before him — only for him; with her legs parted and inviting him in, her body bearing only the bite marks he had given her — is enough to break any restraints left in him. He couldn’t bear to tease her longer, he needed her as much as she needed him.

Licking his lips, he kneels at the end of the bed, crawling his way up to his wife. He lifts her leg over his shoulder, leaving a trail of kisses up to the apex of her thighs, until he reaches the centre of his desire. He breathes her in, the scent of her pleasure stirring something deep within him, before his tongue finds its way between her slick folds, where he finally licks her, from the bottom of her entrance right up to her clit.

She moans softly, already lost to the magic of his tongue, and that's when he lifts her thighs over his shoulders, locking her legs around him, and holding them in place to feast on his meal.

His tongue dives into her, reaching into the depth of her cunt and drinking in her nectar, the effects of it visibly affecting him, as his hardened cock throbs between his belly and the soft sheets of the bed. His hips move unconsciously, searching for a temporary relief as he moves his tongue out of her to lick his way back up, where he finds her swollen bud.

While his hand sneaks away from her thighs, into her dripping entrance, his eyes flick up to find her unravelling before him; her head thrown back, and her hands grabbing at the sheets, holding on for dear life.

“Gods, please…” she begs, her breathing failing her, and he smiles between her legs, as he pumps two fingers into her.

With a final flick of his tongue over her clit, he lifts his head up, still hitting that sweet spot inside of her, “Yes, little love?”

“I… I need you— gods, I need you.”

“You have me, my love,” he says, his voice soft like velvet. “All of me, however you wish.”

He knew what she meant, but he wanted to hear her say it. He would never tire of having her melt under his touch, coming apart under him.

“Inside me,” she whimpers as she clenches around his fingers working wonders inside of her. “Now.”

The urgency of her tone was clearly noticeable, but Astarion wants to push her further, “But I am inside you, my dear.”

She lifts herself up on her elbows, her hair completely dishevelled and her chest rising with each deep breath, staring down her husband with a mix of fury and lust. “If you don’t fuck me right this instant— Ahhh ffffuck!”

While she was talking, Astarion went back to teasing her sensitive bud and accelerating the pace of his fingers thrusting in. “Oh, I’ll fuck you alright. By the time I'm done with your delicious cunt, you’ll only see stars, my sweet.”

He could easily make her go over the edge only with his mouth and his fingers; he had done it countless times in the past already, he was well aware of his abilities, but nothing compared to the feeling of her tightening around his cock and milking him dry while he pumped every drop of his seed into her. It was his favourite way to come with her, and he took great pleasure in making her shatter in every way imaginable. They had all the time in the world to discover the many ways she would cum under his touch.

“Mmh ahh— Pleasepleaseplease Astarion, I want to feel you inside of me, I’m begging you—” Her words get lost in her throat, instead replaced by cries as she nears her climax, until—

“Ah,” Astarion pulls away completely, “but how could I deny my lovely wife when she begs so beautifully.”

Her groans turn into small cries as his teasing starts to overwhelm her, and that’s when he drops her legs down on their bed and crawls over her, aligning himself with her swollen pussy, before linking their hands together to pin her down. He leans down and stops right before kissing her, simply to push her to the limits of her patience, and when she hisses at him for being just out of reach, he shoves his cock inside of her, stilling her.

He remains unmoving, always taking his time with his first thrust to take in the feelings of her tight walls, pulsing around him. Astarion rests his forehead on hers, their eyes lost in the other, carrying the words they had learned to communicate aloud after they had broken their bond.

Carrying on with this ritual had pushed them to communicate better and work on their relationship, creating a new type of bond with the other. They had learned to understand the other’s body language so well that sometimes, a simple look was enough to communicate their exact thoughts from across the room.

His fingers dig into the mattress as he tightens his hold on her, and he resumes his languid strokes, “Focus darling. I want to see every little expression you make while I fuck you. Can you do that for me?”

She tries to nod, but his depraved speech only pushes her further and faster to her climax, as she fights to keep her eyes open and focused on him.

When he feels her cunt’s grip thighten around him, he can barely contain himself anymore, “Fuck, just like that, love,” his groans and the wet sound of their hips slapping against each other gets only louder as he accelerates the pace, nearing his own climax, “Gods, you’re so tight around me— I’m gonna fill you up to the brim, and you’re gonna take it all like the good girl you are.”

A few more thrusts is all it takes to send her over the edge, screaming out as her climax erupts through her like electricity flowing through her veins, followed quickly by Astarion who stills inside of her, shooting thick ropes of come that leak out from her, into their bedsheets. It was the least of his worries right now — he could always change them later, but they would be ruined in the following hour regardless.

They both remain panting, basking in the bliss of this aftermath, until he takes a look at their hands still intertwined. On her right hand, he spies the sparkling diamond ring adorning her finger, the public display of their unison matching his own, and he brings it to his lips for a brief kiss, before taking the time to admire it, thinking back to how it all started.

“I told you, Lady Ancunín suits you beautifully, my love.”

She smiles sweetly, eyes tired from their lovemaking, “I wouldn't have it any other way.”

And he knew she spoke the truth. Their marriage didn't only solidify their relationship, but it protected her from solicitors who might've been tempted to try giving her advances after the news of Virric's death had been propagated, and by taking Astarion's last name, she was free from any remaining links to her family, a name she detached herself from completely years ago already, now legally unbinded.

She didn't even need to explain the extent of her reasoning; the second she proposed, Astarion was on his way to commission matching rings for them. Truth be told, he had wanted to make the proposal himself, but after knowing of her past with Virric, he didn’t dare bring it up first. She did give him the chance to announce the news at their next soiree, and it's the only thing he had spoken about that evening.

They would be Aeterna Amantes. Lovers forever, until the world burns down.

Gods know that he would burn the world down himself if she merely asked — not that she would ever, he knew her better than that — and she was the only one he would ever get on his knees for.

She was the goddess who finally answered his prayers that had gone unanswered all these years ago; the sun that made him feel alive once more; the brightest star that guided him throughout the night; the very reason he decided to live on, and yet, if it came to it, he knew he would die for her.

-

Pars avant l'aube

Quand la lumière veut nous voir

Quelque part dans le monde

Un oiseau s'endort sans bruit

Toi et moi

Dans la nuit on trouvera

Quelque part où déposer

Les fleurs qu'on a cueillies

Thank you for reading! Comments, reblogs, and likes are very much appreciated <3

tag list (comment or message me if you want to be added!): @grimistheangerinmystares @silverfangmarks @roguishcat @nyx-knox @anacdoce @jwera @annnagennnie @angeldarkness95 @marlowethebard @hellethil @frankie-mercury @ariajc79

[divinesolas]

request: jacerys x maid!reader | reader has been working for them for a long while and jace has had a little crush on her since then. (also rhaenyra shipping them on the low would be so sweet)

tags: nontarg!reader, implied slightly older reader, mostly jacaerys pov, no use of y/n, not proofread, i think that's it?

w.c | 2.2k

a/n: i am back! so sorry for being inactive i am so happy to be able to write again i have missed you guys, getting through requests now, but it will probably take me awhile to get to the scream requests since im really unmotived to write for it but i missed writing for hotd so here you go, i hope you guys enjoy!

the first time he had ever spotted you was when he was eight. you had been assigned to be helaena personal maid. he had been standing in the courtyard preparing for another sword fighting lesson. he notices out of the corner of his eye aegon lifting his head before aegon mumbled under his breath and curse as he shakes his head bring his head back down. jacaerys looks up to see heleana, knowing of the recent betrothal and aegons distaste at the idea of course he would have a reaction like that. his eyes drifted over to the girl standing besides helaena and he felt a sudden sensation of butterflies flow into his stomach.

Curiously he picks it up and opens, It feels wrong of me to do this. Princess Heleena just recently taught me how to write and the first thing I felt I needed to do was write something to you. I hope you do not laugh. I hope that while I express myself you find it in yourself to listen. My eyes always find their way towards you. I always find myself thinking about you. I feel too embarrassed to write more though my heart yearns too. Forgive me my prince. I shall hope we talk more. With all i have,

He finds himself tracing the sloppy signing of your name at the end of your letter. His head can't make sense of the words you say despite the fact he wants to so badly. He falls back onto his bed and reads over your words over and over again with a fond look on his face, already planning on what he was going to write back. The two of you begin to write more and more letters to each other. It was easier than speaking in person. Things that could not be uttered in person were said over word, the letters grew more and more personal. He felt like he was looking into your soul with every word as you must have felt as well. But then lady Leana had passed and he had to go to driftmark to the funeral though he was more upset about the passing of ser harwin. Before he had left for driftmark you had slipped a letter for him before he had left. He didn't have the energy to open it then, feeling too much grief to read your sweet words. A part of him is glad he didn't because he didn't realize that would be the last he would see of you for many years. They did not return to king's landing which means he did not get to see you. No more letters, no more passing glances, no more you. He stayed in his bed and cried for awhile, he remembers his mother coming in and trying to comfort him but nothing had worked. Even ten years later he still mourned you like you had died, he had managed to get over his sad slump but you still lingered in his mind like a disease he could not cure, an itch he couldn't scratch. He wondered if you thought of him like he had thought of you. Word had come that they had to go back to king's landing. With lucerys position as heir to driftmark being challenged they were expected to return for a trial. While he feels as though he should be sad, he should be angry. His heart leaps with hope that he gets to see the dear maiden that had stolen his heart. He had never opened up your letter from all those years ago, wanting to savor and save what could be your last words to him for a special occasion. He decided that now would be the time, as he sits on his bed with his stuff packed, only minutes until they were set to leave with shaking hands he rips open the letter.

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath he opens the letter and gasps. My prince, It broke my heart to find out you were leaving. I hope that you have not let your grief consume you, that you shall continue to be happy no matter what. He notices some large splotches of ink as if you had been pressing too hard against the paper in thought. I must tell you this though it is improper. When you return you will never speak to me again. You may never write to me again yet I must say this now. From the day we had locked eyes and my eyes saw you smile you hard earned the key to my heart. You are the chosen one. Hand selected as the owner to the place which you and only you will ever belong. I hope that you do not laugh. I hope that you are not repulsed or you are not hateful. From the day we met I have loved you and I shall think of you always for you are all I yearn for. I shall await your return. I know not how long you will be gone but I will be here, my sweet true love. I am but a low maiden yet you are everything to me as you must be to all. When you return you may choose to ignore this letter. I am more than willing to act as if this letter never existed, I will be the one to turn this letter myself if you wish. Just please, do not punish me by never speaking to me again for I fear my heart will never recover. With all my love, Yours.

The letter shakes vigorously in his hands as teardrops fall onto the page. He must see you. He gets up and rushes towards the yard where the rest of his family awaits where they are boarding to leave. With the letter clutched to his chest he runs through the halls, the only thought going through his mind being you. He carefully, or as carefully as he can with the adrenaline pumping through his veins and the nervous shaking of his hands, folds up the letter and stuffs it into his pocket before continuing to rush towards his dragon. An arm grabs him and he whips his head around ready to curse and scream at whoever it had been before his angry face softens. “My queen.” she cups his cheeks as she frantically looks him over. “Has something happened? Why are you crying, my son?”

He feels himself grow overrun with emotions as he stumbles, unable to answer. Instead he grabs the letter and presents it to her. “My.. she wrote to me.. Her letter I must.. I must..” he cannot find himself. He looks down at the ground as rhaenyra glances over the letter and looks at her son with a heartfelt look. “Do you love her, my boy?” his heart begins to hurt as he begins to think more and more about you as he nods. He lets out a strangled noise as he clutches his chest. “I must see her mother, I must.” He never calls her mother. rhaenyra feels herself overcome with an indescribable feeling as she lets him go. “We shall head out right this moment.” They do. He feels himself riding faster than he ever had. A part of him worries you will not be there. Maids are easily dismissed and rid of in kings landing so his heart hurts as he thinks he has missed you

. They arrive and he finds lucerys is stuck to his side. Despite the fact that all he wished to was run off to find you he knows he must take care of lucerys as well. Walking into the courtyard he's taken back to his childhood, with lucerys eyes locked onto the fight happening jacaerys finds his eyes looking around at the viewers watching from above the courtyard. Suddenly his eyes lock onto a very familiar set of eyes. Yours. You look as gorgeous as you did the day he had last shall you if not more. You were standing in the exact same place you were when he first saw you with a look of shock. He finds himself stumbling away from the crowd to get a better look at you as his heart pounds so loud his ears may begin to ring. You were here. Standing in front of him. He gulps and watches as you quickly rush towards the staircase down to the courtyard. His skin begins to burn as his legs begin to shake. Everything in his body telling him he should run to you. Bring you into his arms. Allow your skin to touch him. Suddenly you are standing in front of him, panting slightly while your eyes dart all over him with surprise. “My prince… you have returned.” He grabs one of your hands in a soft grip, he sees you inhale sharply as he brings your hand to his lips and places a kiss to the back of your hand. his lips burning as he aches to kiss your skin once more. “I am sorry to have kept you waiting, my love.” You gasp before a smile graces your lips and tears fill up in your eyes. “Truly?” He places yet another kiss onto your skin, “More than anything.”

[todayispeia]

✩°｡‘ A POE CUP TO REMEMBER

xavier thorpe x fem!reader

words: 3k

genre: smut, slowburn romance (kinda), flirting, teasing, fingering

a/n: im not great at creating a fanfic, so expect grammatical errors and typo’s ahead !! i hope you enjoy this ♡

you were the new student at nevermore. you were assigned to be roommate with the girl named enid. she was practically a werefolf and a all-rounder gossip girl at the school. she tour you to the hallway where all the students gather there, there was a werewolves, sirens, and many more. “oh, and that girl bianca, he dated our tortured artist, xavier thorpe” she said, pointing the guy who was painting at the wall. he looked at you and not a minute he continues to focus at his drawing.

after the tour, you relaxed a while at your dorm. it was raining outside, “enid, i’m just gonna go downstairs, just catching some raindrops” you said. enid just nodded and continue to dance all by herself. while walking outside, you saw the statue falling above you, but someone pushes you away from it. causing yourself to be unconscious.

after the incident where the statue almost hit you on the head, luckily a student saved your life.

you wake up at the room, seeing a guy beside you, he was already standing, perhaps waiting for you to open your eyes. you immediately get up causing him to sit quickly. “nurse said you dont have a concussion, anyway, im glad you’re awake” he muttered. ”its because im not, and will never be. and the last thing i remember is i was walking alone 'til i saw a statue falling to me.” you said while looking at him. “and, how did you even get there that fast? i believe there was no one when i walked there, i was alone” you added, it was a mixture of confusion and embarrassment. he clicks his tongue before replying to your statement, “call it instinct” he said. “instinct, huh? well, dont expect me to gave you a gratitude or something. its quite unreal to myself giving someone like that” you said while fixing your posture to face him. “mm-hmm. you know, most people just say thank you” he said, looking at you. “i didn't even requested to be rescued that time” — “and you thought i should have just let that thing smash you to mush?” he replied. “i mean, i could have just save myself” you said while crossing your arms. “too much independent would cause you trouble” he scoffs, you couldn't help but to laugh at what he just said. “id rather have a lots of independent, if i will be honest.” you said, “i know you aren't asking my name, but, im xavier thorpe. you’re the new student here, right? the last time we met, i was about two feet shorter, and 40 pounds heavier” he said, “ah, yes. i do remember you, the guy who was painting earlier on the walls. im y/n ” you muttered. “y/n, sounds good” he said. “i believe i can go now, yes? well, see you around, xavier.” you said, getting up to exit the room. “yeah, see you too” he said looking at you.

a few werewolves were howling at the night. you and enid went to the window to check out. “if you really are a werewolf, why aren't you howling like them?” you asked, its quite different to encounter a werewolf not howling when its full moon. “i cant. my mom says some wolves are late bloomers, but i have been to the best lycanologist” she muttered, she only had a claw, which is awesome because of how she painted it with vivid colors. “i had to fly to milwaukee, would you believe it?” she said, toning disgusted at herself. “what happened next?” you asked, you were interested at it because of how different she was than other wolves here in nevermore. “i would be a lone wolf” she muttered, looking down. “thats quite sorrowful to know about you, what would happen if ever you didn’t wolf out yet?” you said, while you continue to asked her about her condition. “i uh... i’d be kicked out of my family pack with no prospect of finding a mate” she said, the tone was a bit aching to feel. its like a mixture of disappointed and rage of anger. “you���ll wolf out, someday. i can feel it” you said, cheering her up. “thanks, y/n. i do hope so”

the school announce that nevermore will be attending to a harvest festival this night. “hey, are you excited for this event?” enid asked, smiling at you. “yeah, well i guess. i’ll just play some games there basically” you said, smiling a little. “thats great, well, this event me and ajax will meet there too. im so excited!” she said. after arriving at the event, enid and you decided to split up there since she said she was gonna meet ajax, her crush basically. you walked around and play darts, it was a basic one, obviously. while playing, xavier went to you, “jeez, didnt know you get any better at this, i bet you can catch the big one toy here” he said already looking to you. “im good at any games, i have played this since i was seven” you muttered, the balloons went popping and popping 'til you win. “quite a good shot” he compliment, “why dont you go search for your hobbies rather than talking to me” you muttered, looking at him to see that he was smiling. “all right, well then, i’ll play these darts too” he said while keeping his smile there. he was quite great at shooting the darts in the balloon too, there was an emotion that pops up to you out of nowhere. it was a feeling that you had a long time ago, but you couldn't understand what that is, so you shrugged it away. “hey, is your mind full of thoughts?” xavier said, tapping your shoulders. you look at him with a wide eyes, you were spaced out because of the thoughts. you look at him holding a cute bear beside him, seem’s that he win the game too.

“everyone, the principal said we should go watch the fireworks!” a student shouted at the crowds. “we should get going now, y/n” xavier said, pulling you out of the crowds to watch the fireworks. you didn't respond but just nodded at him. the fireworks were amazing, different colors, both of you were smiling each other. “seems that you had a great smile hiding there” he said, smiling at you. you couldn't help but giggled at what he said. it feel like a spark was creating that day, you thought to yourself. “hey y/n? i have something to ask” he muttered, turning around to face you. “spit it out” you said, looking at him. “are you going to the poe cup competition?” he asked, smiling. it looks like he was expecting you to see there. “oh, well, i think i would join too. and i’ll go at enid’s team, if ever she would join too” you said.

and so, the poe cup competition begins. you saw enid and the other students designing the boat. it was black and the design was like a cat figure. you went to look it more closer, enid notice you and wave. “so, you’re going to the poe cup competition?” she asked, smiling as always. “yeah, and i decided that i wanted to be part of your team, if thats what it calls” you muttered. “great! because our team will be having a cute black cat outfit this upcoming event! im sure you’ll love it” she said. “hm, maybe i will. i would check it out if there’s a costume published now” you replied. while enid was helping the others with the boat, you walked away silently and moved somewhere. while looking at the areas, you saw xavier at the archery. he was quite bad at it. you moved closer to have conversations with him, even in a small amount of time. “bad shot, i think you need a mentor for that” you said, crossing your arms. he looked at you with disbelief, “didnt see you coming, are you interested in archery or you’re here to entertain me instead?” he said, smirking while he tried for the second time. “actually, i was just lurking around here, until i saw you” you replied. you started to pick up the bow and a arrow to tried it out. “have you ever tried to handle a bow and shoot an arrow?” he asked. “we’ll see what i can do” you said, you prepared your bow and arrow to shoot it in the red spot. the luck was on your side, the sharp of the arrow went thru to the red spot. while xavier, he was quite impressed at what you did. “impressive, i already think to your statement earlier that you should be my mentor instead” he said, smirking at you. “dont gave me that look, it’s intriguing” you said. “well, see you in the competition, i bet you’ll look nice” you said and swiftly walked away. “is that a flirt or a compliment?” he shoutedly asked to you.

it is now class time and you walked over to the following schedule. you saw bianca and the other sirens looking at you. “there’s an open spot next to me” xavier spoked, you walked beside him and sit. looks like he was sketching something, more like a spider. he moves his hand only to make the sketch of his to move in reality. you can say that it was quite impressive that a sketchy spider can be alive in just by his hands. “admit it, you’re a little impressed” he muttered, looking at you with a smile. “hate to admit that you’re right, i was impressed in that magical hands of yours” — “wanna know what this magical hands can do?” xavier said, you looked at him with a disgust, but your insides says otherwise.

it is now the competition for the poe cup, enid’s team was labeled as black cats, its quite attractive. “hey, y/n! your costume is at the tent! you can wear it now” she said, smiling at you. “oh, thats great news. i’ll go wear it now.” you muttered, the outfit was fitted, and the ears fitted well to you. “OMG, you look purr-fect!” enid said, she walked back to help the others with the whiskers. while xavier walked towards you, “didnt know you’ll look good in black, y/n” he said, looking up and down at you. “you look like a serial killer clown at that costume of yours, thats more than a word attractive to me” you replied, smirking at him. “i considered that as a flirt, i’ll get back that” he said while smiling, he went on to his team and sat on the boat. it was now all settled, everyone was on the boat now. while you were focusing, you notice xavier was looking at you, you went to look at him but he looked to another direction. “i want to wrlcome you all to the edgar allan poe cup!” — “this is one of nevermore’s proudest annual traditions, dating back 125 years. each team must row across to raven island, pull a flag from crackstone’s crypt, and hustle back without sinking or being sunk. first team to cross the finish line with their flag wins the cup and bragging rights for a year, as well ss some special privileges. ”

“let the poe cup begin!” a sound of shotgun bang to the air and all teams swiftly sweep in the lake. one of the teams were suddenly drag on the side of the lake, causing them to bump into the giant figure and sunk. you immediately figured out that someone was trying to ruin the teams, so you immediately made up a plan. you remembered before the competition that you requested enid to put some traps or any thing that can capture in the lake. and this was the great time, you click the button and immediately figured it out that there was a mermaid nearby your boat that was about to sabotage. luckily it was now wrapped by a fishnet and no longer can bother your team. as your boat hit the next task, “stay here and make sure the other teams can't sabotage our boat. im gonna get the flag and perhaps, distract some jokers” you said to enid, you quickly run to the woods to find the crackstone’s crypt, you saw xavier there so you quickly hide from a tree to sabotage him. when you saw xavier is now nearby to you, you rush to pull him somewhere. “hey! we still have a competition, what were you thinking?” he asked, you quickly covered his mouth as you both made your way to the crackstone’s crypt where your flag was. “shush your mouth or my mouth will do it for you” you said while you picked up your team’s flag. “as if your mouth can make me shut up, prove it then” he said pulling you closer to him, you were furious because of what he said, the tone was underestimating you. you pull him closer to gave him a peck of kiss, and run away from him. he was about to gave it all but all he gotten was frustration from you for teasing, as you now go back to your teams, xavier also came back as well. while your team is at the lake coming back for the finish line, the mermaid was back again at the lake, trying to destroy your team’s boat, but you didn’t want to disappoint your friend neither anyone. so, you decide to swim over down to pull the mermaid back on what he needs to be. you pull his tail down to the lake and luckily, he swim away. you went back to the boat because of the water suffocating your lungs. your team fastly sweep the lake back to the nevermore, you and the team also sabotage the bees boat to slow them down. luckily, your team won after the competition. a lots of students was shocked after the competition, because all they knew is that bianca, herself, will always win. not until you were now part of the nevermore.

not until xavier pulled you to his dorm. you knew you’re fucked up.

“oh, so you’re into teasing, isn’t? teasing me in the middle of competition, you planned this, didn’t you y/n?” he asked, he was now pinning you against the wall, letting out his anger and frustrations at you. “would you be done if i said yes? or what? you’re gonna do something to me, you little fratboy” you muttered, you moved away yet his hands grab you and push you to bed. “oh yeah? actually, i have something to confess before i start something fun” he said while looking up and down to you with a smirk. “spit it out xavier, i dont wanna wait” you stated, “you know, ever since the harvest festival, i already have feelings for you. and i cant get you off my mind, and in the meantime, i’ve always wanted to have intimate with you, hopelessly devoted to get you” he said, you were shocked after what he just said. you didn’t know what to feel, the heat was getting higher and higher, it was so intense. all this time trying to shrug your feelings towards him, he finally cleared it out. you couldn’t express it properly so you pulled him to a kiss, he kissed back to you that is no eager, so needy. it looks like he have been waiting patiently for this to happened. his tongue swiftly made his way to your mouth, causing you to moan in the kiss, his hands went thru your boobs to massage it softly, your back arch because of it. both of you cut the kiss to breath first. “your outfit looks good, but you’ll look good without them, love” he said, pulling off your costume. “i didnt know jokers were into rough sex, quite fascinating to discover” you muttered, taking off his hat and running your fingers to her hair. “oh dont worry, my magical hands can do so much in you, also my mouth. just watch” he muttered, after he successfully took off your costume, you also pulled his clothes off and throw it somewhere in the room.

“lay down” he demanded, you did what he told to avoid more argues. “well look at that, such a beautiful sight for my eyes. its more than what i sketch about this” he muttered, he leans closer to your core and gives it a lick. you muffled at his action, “dont f-fucking tease xavier, please” you begged, he looked at you with a smirk in his face. “that’s a revenge for making me hard on the competition, beg more, love, maybe i can give what we both needed” he suggested, rubbing circles in your pussy. “p-please, xavier... i-i didn’t really meant to tease you that time, i j-just really want to feel your lips. please, xavier” you explained, arching your back to give signals to him to continue. “i’ll believe for now” he said, as he positioned himself at your core to have a taste. he leans closer and licks it. you moaned his name causing him to continue to eat you out. he puts kisses and licks at your pussy, even biting it, causing you to moaned loudly and continuously arch your back several times. but xavier wasn’t satisfied with, he push a finger inside of you while he continues to eat you out. you pulled his hair while continuously moaning his name. “fuck, your mouth is really good, p-please continue, im close” you said while rolling your eyes because of the pleasure. xavier nodded and pushes one more finger inside you and started to push in and out with a more pace of speed. while his mouth is busy tasting you more and more. “a-ah! im coming!” you shouted, “come on me love” in the exact time he said that, you come in his mouth. he took off his fingers and licks it, tasting you. “you taste delicious than my daily meal” he muttered, leaning you for a kiss, the kiss was passionate. you kissed back and wrapped your arms around his neck. “i’ll help you clean up, and overall, what happened between us is amazing. and i want to ask you out for a date after?” he said, “of course, and, we’re gonna be lovers after all” you replied.

[thepepsislvt]

What if we had another Barto fic because were so starved for his content esp in writing if the reader was like a strawhat that luffy picked up in like skypiea maybe..like a shandorian with the little wings 👀.. just a thought..

I WIN yes i will write more of Barto bc i love him and im glad so many other people love him too!

this one seemed rushed and i apologize i wrote this before my second shift of work :(

Bartolomeo x Winged! Gn Reader

warnings: all fluff, some cursing, mention of doflamingo

you were born on Skypiea and thats all you’ve known

you were always so curious as a child but nobody would tell you what the rest of the world was like

So when you hit your teenage years you decide that one day you're going to leave the floating island

You had wings so you could easily fly away but you couldn't navigate the ocean by yourself

Most nights you would hope and pray that someday, someone would save you.

That's when a certain pirate with a straw hat came and fucked shit up on your island

At the age of 19, you knew this was your getaway, a savior you had spent all of these years praying for

After he won the battle he was fighting you came up to him and his crew as they were about to depart

“Strawhat! You must take me with you! I will prove myself worthy to join your crew-”

“Ok”

“-and I won't take no for an answer! Wait did you say okay? That fast?” you looked at the pirate captain with confusion and shock

All he did was smile and nod

So it was easier than you thought

It didn't take very long to get along with the rest of the crew members

You would give Usopp, Chopper, and Luffy rides through the air

Zoro taught you how to use a sword

Naomi taught you to pickpockets even though you probably won't use that skill

The Entire crew loved you

When Frankly and Brook joined the Straw hats you easily got along with them as well

When you got separated for two years on Sabaody you couldn't have been happier to see them

Your wings had fully grown and you could now use them to their full potential

You guys may have changed a lot physically over the past two years but nothing has changed between your friendship

During the events of Dressrosa, you decided to follow Luffy to the Colosseum to make sure he doesnt give away his identity and draw unwanted attention towards him

While you and Luffy were watching the fight, a certain green haired rooster head had caught your eye

he was hated by the crowd for being vulgar but thats what you liked about him

after his victory in Block B you knew you had to go and greet him

what you were not expecting was him to start crying and saying how much he wasn’t good enough to be in your presence

how can such a scary looking man with the title “Cannibal” fall to his knees over someone like you?

you were flattered by his kind (?) response and had to console him

he asked you to sign your wanted poster he kept

after the defeat of Doflamingo, you hung around Bartolomeo more, falling more and more for him and his wild personality

he had finally accepted that you were actually his friend and took his fanboying down a notch (he still has his moments though)

you had asked him out since you know damn well he wouldnt have the balls to ask you

when you did he just about died on the spot

but y’all had the best time on your date

Sanji and Nami had helped you dress nicely for the event

at the end of the night Barto and you were just star gazing as you told him all about each constellation

Barto knew he had to something he just didnt know how

“you see those six stars up there forming a ‘W’? they call that one the King of Pirates in honor of Gol Roger himself! isnt that cool?” you had explained while pointing to the sky

after you didnt get a response from him you looked over to see if he was alright only to be met with his face close to yours

“Barto? are you alright?” you whispered to him

He just stared into your eyes before kissing your cheek, leaving you flustered and your wings spread out in suprise

“was that okay? should i not have done it?” Bartolomeo started to panic and think of every possible negative outcome before you kissed his lips gently

“more than alright”

he Smiled and started giggling all giddy

“I GOT KISSED BY MY FAVORITE STRAWHAT!!” he yelled out into the sky

you only laughed and kissed him again

[yooniesim]

I know nobody gives a shit about this in comparison so posting a save file with uncredited builds in it, but reminder of that time @mapanou started calling me out of name and spewing hateful nazi ideology at me out of nowhere just bc i made a lukewarm criticism of a paywaller and I dared to say black people are often criticized more for being angry... but since only one of my parents are black that ain't allowed 😬 some of yall acted like this was okay but I didn't forget it, I notice how some of their friends are acting all betrayed now bc their homie turned out to be a sims content thief but you knew who you were laying down with clearly. You were glad to support an extremely nasty ass person when the vitriol was directed at me, but God forbid someone not credit a build! anyway guess who was struck down and it wasn't me bitch 💀

That aside, since the insufferable cunt had the nerve to mention the One Drop Rule, which has been used as a tool to discriminate against all black people and keep their mixed offspring othered for as many generations as possible, here's some sources on what it actually refers to (and some related articles about the struggles of mixed race people). It's a method of discrimination by white supremacists, not a way for mixed race people that you think are unworthy of speaking to "claim" to be black. If you're lurking, mapanou, i hope you and your friends read them and understand something you should have already at your "very big age".

One Drop Rule on Wikipedia (for the basic concept + more sources)

How The "One Drop Rule" Became a Tool of White Supremacy

How The Nazis Were Inspired by Jim Crow

Understanding the Stressors and Types of Discrimination That Can Affect Multiracial Individuals

Exploring Black mixed-race experiences of Black rejection

Not Enough Or Double The Prejudice: On Being Black & Asian American

Why Imposter Syndrome Goes Deep for Multiracial People

When Your Own Family Is Racist Toward You

^ the basic gist for the lazy. and just an added bit. I don't know if mapanou has ever seen me, because I barely know them and certainly didn't share with them, but I have been doxxed plenty and my pics probably shared to them by others and im obviously not white though i am light skinned. im very proud of my dark natural hair, brown eyes, thick lips and big nose that I all got from my father. I have nothing to prove nor hide about who I am. I am black and asian and white and I love every part of what makes me, me. I am mixed race and if you don't believe or like me as I am that's your problem not mine. just wanna clear that up for all the people that may have been confused about it. and for all my followers that are mixed, especially black and asian, I love you and you have a place here. your voices and experiences are valuable and you deserve to be heard. that's all I got to say.

[thenightfolknetwork]

I didn't mean to. It was an accident. I swear I didn't know. I just...

The town I'm from is secluded, very secluded. Still using landlines and slow and spotty internet secluded. It's one of those towns hidden away by mountains and trees that take days to get in and out of. My point is that news is slow to get in, and about half is debated as rumor and "conspiracies against the common people."

I hope im saying this right. As i said, resources are limited, so please forgive any offense. The "People of the Night" are still thought to be myth here. If there are any um "Nightfolk" here, they haven't made themselves known. Not that I'd blame them, but it would have made this a lot easier, maybe prevented it even. I'm sorry I'm rambling, I'm still a bit shaken.

I thought I was just approachable. When someone's lost or needed help, they'd always find their way to me. No trouble at all, I enjoyed it. But it happened so often, My friends used to say that I "just had one of those faces."

It felt good to be needed. I'd ask how someone was. They'd vent to me what was going on, and I listened. If I could and they wanted it, I'd offer advice, but most just wanted to be heard.

But, a couple of weeks ago, I was walking with my best friend. We were just catching up, nothing serious. It was meant to be a joke, a reference to my tendency of "being one of those faces." I asked her if she had any dark secrets she wanted to share.

She did.

You'd thought I'd told her to do it at knifepoint. Her story came pouring out like an overpowered hose. When she finished, the look she gave me. I can't unsee it.

When it was over, i tried to thank her for trusting me with such sensitive information, but she told me to save it. I don't know how, but we both knew it was my fault.

She told my friend group what happened and now no one wants to speak to me. I tried to explain myself, but they refused to listen or trust what I had to say. Out of frustration, I asked one person why they were avoiding me, and they responded, "Because I always knew you were weird."

There was no denying that I... forced them to tell me that in some way, but it wasn't on purpose! But I must have proved something because now I can't leave my house because everyone is LOOKING at me.

I've been using a paper and pencil to get by as well as trying to learn BSL because im afraid to speak again. How many of those talks that I had were unvoluntary? How many people were forced to be honest and just pretended to be civil because they were scared of me?

I don't know if this is new or something that I'd always done. I'm alone here. The only reason I know as much as I do about the Creature Community is because I accidentally stumbled across your show on my radio.

I dont know who i am anymore. I miss singing and talking to people, but I'm terrified that I'll compel someone by accident. How do I get better? Where do I go from here?

Oh, reader. This must be a very frightening, upsetting time for you. I'm so glad you felt able to reach out to us here at the Nightfolk Network for support.

First of all, I hope you are able to see the difference between taking responsibility for your past actions, and making a martyr of yourself. You have been unthinkingly, unknowingly hurting people, and you do need to recognise that before you can try to make amends. But the harm you caused was entirely accidental. Please, be gentle with yourself.

In terms of practical steps forwards, I can reassure you: you are not alone in your powers, or in finding them difficult to control. Often powers of this kind make themselves known early in an individuals life, and you can imagine how difficult it can be to control the spoken wishes of a babbling toddler.

Nevertheless, many people in your situation go on to live perfectly ordinary lives with good control over their powers. And you have the advantage over a toddler, in that you are not only fully cognisant of the detrimental effects of such powers but also already able to find alternative ways to communicate.

Your first step is to contact your GP and arrange an appointment to discuss the matter. Write them a letter explaining the situation, and emphasising your need to conduct the appointment without speech. In a small, rural community like yours, it's very likely your GP will have little to no personal experience of such cases. But they will be able to refer you to an NHS specialist with whom you can explore possible treatment options.

In most cases, those options will be either medication, behavioural therapy, or more usually a combination of the two. I understand that there is a great deal of stigma around thauma-damping medication. Please, resist this pattern of thought.

Medication is nothing more or less than a tool we might use to help us live our lives. Taking medication does not indicate a lack of effort or will on your part in controlling your powers. It just makes a very difficult thing slightly easier.

However, NHS waiting lists for this type of treatment can be lengthy. In the meantime, I strongly recommend you reach out as best you can to your community. Writing a letter, text or email to your best friend would be a good start, explaining the situation as best you can and leaving the door open for her to rekindle the relationship if she feels able.

Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do to forcibly mend the relationship. You can only present yourself honestly and hope that, in time, you are able to find your way back to something like the friendship you shared before this.

In the meantime, try to connect with other people in the community if you can. The Internet can be a wonderful place to connect with others, and your local library may have information about support groups in the wider area.

Above all, reader, take heart. There is plenty to be hopeful about here. You are not doomed to a life of fearful silence, or of isolation and solitude. With a little work, and plenty of support from the people around you, I see no reason why you shouldn't enjoy a long and happy life full of genuine connection with the people around you.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[kissmetwicekissmedeadly]

HELLO AGAIN EVERYONE my tummy aches but im being brave about it and im going to fight the pain with the power of love and friendship (aka im going to thank you for the christmas tree messages)

okay let me be emotional for a moment...

because of the current circumstances at home, this Christmas was very different and much lonelier for me. i did my best not to get the blues and i think it was okay for the most part! now looking back at it, without a doubt, the highlight of my Christmas this year was reading the tree messages. it was very late in the night, i had just finished reading Napo's story event route and i saved the best part for desert, barely containing my excitement to finally read the messages. and i expected just a row of "merry christmas"-es 😭 you know, because, i did that? i kept mine all short and i was just shouting some wishes at you.... BUT NO, YOU OUTDID YOURSELVES IN TURN! WHAT WAS THAT! i was right there sobbing in my bed being all "?????" .... i seriously didn't expect 1) to have so many because i did the tree very last minute 2) to receive such sweet messages...

and then i realized, was my Christmas really all that lonely? because, just 3-4 years ago, i didn't know any of you here. before that i never was more than a lurker in online spaces so... i think that's when i had truly lonely christmases, not now. thank you for being here. i don't deserve you... no im sorry if you hate it when i say that, pretend that i didnt say it ( i lowkey think that) (im sorry im in my low self esteem era these past months)

OKAY SO

thank you person called Bread, thank you Lorei for being the first sob of my sob session, it's all YOUR fault that i got so emotional oh my god im totally dm-ing you after this, thank you irl bestie who not only left me a sweet personal message but also roleplayed my faves for me because i screamed (you heard it), thank you kat for your three messages that made me feel all kind of emotions (im touched that youre willing to write this even if i feel like im going to hate it), THANK YOU NINNI HUGS BACK!, thank you Ally i know it was you. using roy to threaten me with a good time.... smh... MERRY CRIMMY SCUM!!!!, YAY TO YOU TOO, SOLACE!! Thank you aqua, you're right, he's good to me 🥺 just as chev is to you, i believe! THANK YOU DREW im still thinking about it. Thank you Fang, I could say the same and you know it 🥺, THANK YOU DEVON!! Thank you so much Ana, I too hope the same, I'm glad I became your mutual! 🥹 Same goes to you too, Oliver! I'm just always so happy to see new faces around, truth is im a little bit shy with interactions at first because i feel annoying... so thank you for becoming my moot! 🙇🏻‍♀️💗 Thank you, sweet Julie 🥹 THANK YOY MYARA, I CRIED A LITTLE! right back at ya, i think that you're an irreplaceable part of our little space and im just so glad to be here and see everything you do and share with us! hope your 2024 is full of joy both on here and irl ❤ Thank you mimi, i feel the same and you better not forget that! Thank you Michelle, love you too!!! THANK YOU, NAMI! Thank you, Impromptu!!!!! Thank you Nori!!!!!!!!! And thank you sui you're so right as ever. nods.

i think thats all im so sorry if i forgot anyone ALSO im so sorry for doing this. i tried to keep my responses vague in case you wanted these to be extra private... i initially was going to dm all of you but. that was because i thought there were going to be like 10 of you!!! again im sorry. love you all so much im an emotional wreck

i hope you had a good time these past few days and i hope we can all look forward to a great 2024 together 🥺 i'd be nowhere without you

@lorei-writes @yanderepuck @claviscollections @yarnnerdally @scummy-writes @aquagirl1978 @ikemendrew @fang-and-feather @devonares @bicayaya @olivermorningstar @queengiuliettafirstlady @keithsandwich @mimi-but-main @xbalayage @namine-somebodies-nobody @the12thnightproject @mcwentfandomtraveling @leonscape

[brainyrot]

Hey. I like the way you write.

LMAOJDIS

Chaos everywhere, wood flying and breaking, bullets made of who knows what, ink and death.

it felt like a war was playing in front of him, which he couldn't tell if it was entertaining or scary, not scary because the scene was too much for him, but scary because he was in the middle of it.

he wanted to make a run for it, but didn't make it. Didn't work. Too many things happening right now.

Ink falling down from his forehead, stress.

He just needs to wait until things calm down a bit, or too many people die until it's enough and the massacre stops.

he's almost glad he's in the middle of this and witnessing it, as he can learn new things from the new guests and adapt.

the two dishes have a long reach weapon, yes, fingers but they shoot bullets and a variety of it.

Could break their hands all together.

The cat is mostly relying on the bag and physical fight, the bag gives him everything apparently. Tricky and just needs to see if that bag can even be damaged.

the girl uses some kind of spells. She is fragile so she hopes those small and quick spells she can do without messing up are enough,

Meaning she is the easiest one.

on the other hand we have what used to be people dragging themselves around, hungry. Mad. In both senses.

And he's still stuck like this.

But after what felt like an eternity the fire stops, the screams and moans of pain stop, the ink slowly melting and dripping from whatever surface it's on.

blood is mixed with ink, minor injuries, maybe some are more severe.

The guests are covered in ink, some were close to be consumed by it completely.

They work the same as the rest. They are all victims of the same rules. they are just smarter and sane enough to actually try and survive instead of throwing yourself into some suicidal mission and wait to come back, again, and die, again, and come back, over and over, losing yourself the more it happens.

Sammy on the floor, obviously alive, just not able to fight anymore. that guy is hard to beat, he can tell you by experience. Some firey bullets won't do much.

Hopefully won't start a fire, they already have enough problems as it is.

a cough, multiple coughs. A whole coughing fit that sounded like someone just got out from the dark puddles, they all do it anyway, they all need to breathe still apparently.

Or it just sounds like someone whose lungs are merely an accessory instead of functional now.

the second one fits better.

"You okay, bro?" the one with the scarf as long as Alice angel's hair, even more, asks. Placing a hand behind the other's back and rubbing it.

"I-im good. I'm good." and a few curses.

What a nitwit. you're not fine. Why does he keep lying about that? Does he think he's cool or a hero if he does that?

What a joke.

"Where's bendy?" here, but he doesn't wanna be.

"Under a table, he's fine.." taking a few breaths in, glancing at the demon..kind of suspiciously but it was just a glance, the feeling went away almost immediately.

"Who even were they?" She asked. Tired. She didn't even move, why is she tired? All the work was from the rest of the group and her silly spells.

"I don't know, tree princess. Some weirdos."

"covered in ink.."

"Some didn't even look like a person though! They.. it's like they were made of ink!" they say the truth, yet they keep denying it once they say the rest of the words.

"Yeah. this place is dangerous. We need to go." a joy in this torment of a studio?

"But boris-"

"SCREW BORIS! We can't even save him anymore! He's cussing dead! I saw him cut open earlier! There's no one else to save! There's nothing to save him! So let's just get bendy out from under the table and go!" the tallest cup shouted. Ouch. and he snapped as well.

Amusing at best, but honestly, he doesn't care.

"..what?"

"Bori- you...you knew? You knew?! You knew Boris was here- and- and you didn't say anything until now?! You- y- Boris is dead and- and-"

"I couldn't do anything about it! he was already like this when I found him!"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER! Boris is-you could've-! I-" Tears and a mix of emotions that can't be fully described.

Tears from a girl, ugly crying without any shame. She doesn't have time for that, as she's busy crying over a stranger with the face of someone she knew.

silence, grieving silence.

"...bendy, look. I-..I wanted to tell you, but-" finally, the one who broke this news to everyone spoke, voice so soft and empathetic it was weird seeing him talk like that.

but he wasn't talking to no one anyway, there was no one there.

"...bendy?"