#and im probably going to end up with a horrible future at this point. i probably wont even finish school

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

oughhm :|

[ushijimaschubbs]

"just please understand...."

an: im sorry if this sucks I have exams and i really wanted to finish this request. this is not proofread btw. based on this request. have fun reading anon and thank you so much for this adorable request <33

synopsis: reader has a bad luck in love and their bestfriend kuroo picks up the pieced after heartbreak while he's in love with them.

1.2k words

pairings: timeskip bestfriend!kuroo tetsurou × reader

warnings: breakup, cheating, reader has bad luck in love leading to multiple heartbreaks, slight angst

the sunlight felt too bright this morning as you tried to shield yourself from it by covering your face with the nearest pillow. the dreadful memories from last night started clouding your mind when you remembered how you had to break up with your ex boyfriend because you found him flirting with multiple girls online. tears rolled down your the bridge of your nose as you tried to find your phone on the table, only to see 20 missed calls from kuroo. you sprang up from your bed and called him immediately knowing he is going to be pissed off because you probably drunk dialled him last night after the brutal breakup.

"oh wow look who has decided to wake up. it's 1pm", kuroo spat on the other line.

"I'm really sorry, kuroo. i was having a really awful night okay? please don't shout at me I'm still so hungover", you cried, falling back into the mattress.

"i don't remember the last time you had a good night actually, princess. i was really worried for you and I couldn't even check up on you because I'm still on this business trip", he sounded annoyed and pissed off and this really wasn't the first time. you didn't blame him since you did find yourself in horrible situations ever so often in your love life. cupid did not do anything for you because if it had, you wouldn't end up with rat looking, bad kissers every time you had a liking for someone. you were simply questioning your taste at this point and kuroo was clearly growing tired of watching you struggle, and worse cry yourself to sleep ever so often.

what you didn't know was how much kuroo longed for you but he was too scared to admit it in the fear of rejection and the loss of his bestfriend, he didn't want to give up something so precious only for it to break into pieces in future, if it ever does that is.

"i promise i won't jump into anything too hastily after this okay? and when are you returning? i really miss your stupid face, jackass", you replied, trying to lighten the mood because you knew kuroo was furious right now.

"im returning in a week and i swear I will keep my eyes on you at all times because I really don't like seeing you like this, y/n. you're my bestfriend and you deserve so much better please",he sighed and proceeded to hang up as his coworker urged him to the meeting room.

after this call, you swore to yourself you won't go out with any guy anymore no matter what happened but guess what, it hadn't even been two weeks before you were going insane over your new neighbour. his blonde locks and hazel eyes had you on a chokehold and you rambled on about it to kuroo who knew this was not going to end well. you went on two dates with this neighbour guy and gushed about him to your bestfriend, describing where he took you, how he treated you, how he paid for your dates blah blah.

"that's very bare minimum, y/n. I've done way more for you and you know that", kuroo blurted out in the middle of your rambling.

"yeah but he's not you, stupid. he's sweet, and kind and he has such beautiful hands you have no idea", starry eyed you went to bed peacefully that night not knowing what was going to take place the next day.

it was your third date now with this neighbour boy and he took you to a classy family restaurant, pulled your chair to seat you, ordered your favourite food and ran circles on your calves with his toes as he looked into your eyes. that was until a girl who had just entered the restaurant stormed towards your table and started screaming on top of her voice about how this guy was her boyfriend, and they had been going out for months now. you couldn't register what she was saying, the noise of shouting and him explaining himself drowned as you lost balance and fell on the chair. your head hurt and you knew you had to leave immediately. you ran towards the road, looking down in shame and got into the nearest cab. the entire night you kept calling kuroo, hoping to confide in him only to remember that he was supposed to be on a date too leading you to cry yourself to sleep that night.

you woke up to several knocks on your door and someone shouting your name outside loud enough for everyone in the building to hear. you made your way towards the door and found kuroo sweating profusely and out of breath.

"I'm so sorry y/n I'm really sorry I passed out last night after the date and my phone was on silent are you fine is everything okay??"

"yeah don't worry my bad luck in love just doesn't seem to leave", you sighed, plopping on the cream coloured sofa in your living room.

"what happened this time?"

"he was already in a relationship"

kuroo was usually always annoyed everytime you would tell him about a crush, or a bad date or even a relationship but this time he looked enraged.

"you can't be that blind right y/n"

"huh what do you mean"

"i mean we've been friends for almost idk our entire life and we've spent literally every fucking day together. there hasn't been a single day I have wanted to wake up and the only reason why I do anyways is you. you are my first thought of the day and every other thought after that and I simply cannot go on even a day more without saying this to you but I've always and always loved you y/n and I'm tired of other undeserving men breaking your heart everytime and I will not stand it anymore. my heart beats for you everyday so please..." he breathes hard "just please understand." he was now standing right over you, his eyes not leaving your face for even a second as you tried to process each of his words.

"kuroo what how why have you never told me this", you cried wondering how oblivious you were to all his feelings for so long.

"because I don't want to lose you. i never ever want to have to go through the loss of you as my bestfriend and i cannot risk that but I also can't see your heart break everytime because of some jerk and if that means risking our friendship I don't mind because I want you to be mine only", he urged as he sat next to you, taking your hand in his and caressing your fingers with his thumb.

"you'll never lose me kuroo, I promise you that. trust me. I'm sorry for being so unaware of what you felt for me. why don't we start by going on a date first? is that fine?", you said while closing the distance between you two by pressing your lips on his, your noses touching slightly. he was gentle and soft and you could taste the shared breath, feel the thud of your combined heartbeat as he held you close, making sure he's never letting you go again.

[watermel0ns-dumb-cringe]

Okay SINCE I DID A YAP SESSION ANALYSIS ON CONNIE. IM DOING ONE FOR PENNY/JANE. buckle up this might be a tad longer since I'm obsessed with funky lil tragic girls that are doomed to the dramatic irony of their worst fears

Okay. So. Jane/Penny IMMEDIATELY sets up the overall undertone of the musical during Karnak's Dream Of Life. I was admittedly a tad confused upon first seeing it— especially with how it seemed to be brushed off for a good 15 first minutes of the musical. Then- woah. Holy shit. Jane appearing from behind the curtains out of basically nowhere as the "mystery contestant" gave me chills. Her tone as a character is so vastly contrast to the others in such a surreal and unnerving way that you can't help but be so intrigued but wary. Especially with how, like— so many characters similar to her that I've seen tend to be villianized a lot. But- no. She's- she feels more- human. To me, at least. That's the irony of it, huh? She doesn't know who she is. She walks with only the lingering regret & guilt of mourning a distant memory that she might never get back. Cursed to a fate that's admittedly horrifying when you think about it; all without knowing or remembering what she did to deserve such fate. Jane- DEFINITELY has some catholic guilt themeing going on, and it's fun to speculate all the religious undertones and details of her character!

She's just- so interesting to me. I deadass had to pause the musical and stare at my screen for a few minutes after TBOJD just so I could like- take it all in. Since it REALLY. REALLY. Hit close to home for me, as someone who's very much struggled and even temporarily lost their sense of identity, often being deemed forgettable by most— or just straight up cast out and alienated. Being formerly religious and deathly afraid of messing things up and ending up in the bad place was just the cherry on top!

Jane is. Such a complex character to me, ESPECIALLY if you bring (Legoland)Penny into the mix, viewing them as the same person. There's so much dramatic irony and slight foreshadowing in both shows that only deepens her as a character.

She's definitely not dumb or anything, that's for sure. She seems to be pretty damn smart! Guess it runs in the family, lol.

But like- being forgotten by almost everyone, well aware of the horrible fate you've been condemned to. Confused and lost, yet simultaneously an empty shell of someone who used to be "human." Now just. Only viewed as a creepy, unfeeling empty "doll." Not knowing how to properly express your emotions and desperately trying to connect with others, seeking that warmth of familiarity that deep down you know you'll NEVER get back. Nothing is waiting for you after the smoke clears. You've been abandoned by everything you currently know, including "god" itself. Swallowed up whole by time itself like you never even existed. You just want to go home. You just want to feel something— anything. You just want someone to treat you like a person and tell you who you are.

It's. So heartbreaking once you realize some of the implications and slight foreshadowing placed in Legoland. Penny says something about how she was afraid that nobody would notice if she died. There's multiple references to decapitation. Both Karnak & Ricky repeat lines that Penny’s said in the Legoland script. There's so many little details about her and it's just JRHRGSHAHAKJSEGGAJA/vvpos

SPEAKING OF LEGOLAND & PENNY!!

She. Probably harbors a lot of guilt, going off of all the implications & themeing around her in both LL AND RTC. Penny's shoved around a lot from what we know— even to the point of people burning her backpacks & having to avoid the stairs entirely just so she doesn't get shoved down them, risking breaking something. Yeah, she DEFINITELY has her flaws; but that's honestly what made me connect with her. Even without the flaws, I very deeply related to her as well, just as I did with her inevitable future "self." (If you believe in the LL! Penny = RTC! Penny/Jane Doe thing like I do!!) How she just- kinda attaches herself to her interests & the whole lashing out and fucking MAIMING A GROWN MAN reminded me of myself a lot. (I have not maimed anybody for the record. But I did lash out at other kids and have actually hurt them before. Not severely, but- I'm definitely not proud of it. I had BAD. anger & mood issues.)

OH. And then you discover Ezra's existence!! Which. Makes shit a LOT worse! Adds a lot more potential with how you see Jane Doe as well, along with a LOT of potential for Ezra's character as well. UUGauahah it's always the doomed siblings that get me I totally haven't cried over this damned trope before multiple times wdym

But yeah! There's. So many intricate details about everything— the themeing, the implications, hell- even in the character design & NAMES‼️‼️ (The last name being LAMB is just. Really ironic to me. Lamb to the slaughter,,)

RGRHJSSGHD THERES SO MUCH DRAMATIC IRONY ESPECIALLY WITH THE LUCKIEST GIRL IN TOWN THING IAAGKKFK AND ALL THE DETAILS WITH SYMBOLISM I AM NOT NORMAL ABOUT ALL THE DETAILS THEY PUT IN THIS GOD FORESAKEN SHOW SOMEBODYHELPM

so yeah uh I'm. Not normal about Jane/Penny in the slightest! You can definitely tell the Lambs are my favorites JSHSHSSHSJ (Connie's also one of my favorites if you can't tell sHES SO SILLY AND DESERVES SO MUCH LOVE TOO AIAYSGSUIAK)

Everyone in this fucking musical deserves better you can't change my mind (excluding the carnie. That fucker can go die in a ditch <3)

[he-goes-down]

There Was A Time:

A/n: OMG SORRY IF THIS IS HORRIBLE IM SICK AND MY HEAD BE FLOATING

ENJOY THO

Pervious chapters/ warnings

3. Nice Boys:

Second person POV:

You woke up to the sound of clattering and clanging in the kitchen. You rubbed your eyes and groaned, when you opened them, you realised that you were in Duff's room. "What the fuck!" You yelled, but it was soft as your voice was still waking up as well. You aggressively lifted the covers and looked down. 'Phew, my clothes are still on.' You sighed a sigh of relief. You didn't remember how you got to Duff's bed, but hopefully nothing happened. 'Okay back to bed' All that strong panic and crashing relief so early in the morning made you tired. You took the covers and laid down, holding them to your shoulder and closed your eyes. The idea of getting more sleep started crashing down when there was a loud knock on the door. "Wake up we need you in the kitchen!" The person on the other side yelled. You groaned in annoyance and turned over, flipping open the covers and getting out of bed. The cold air hitting your feet and arms made you shiver, you opened the door to see Izzy standing there, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. His eyes widen, he was surprised to see you come out of Duff's room. "Where's Duff?" He asked, rather rudely as he looked you up and down. He probably thought the same thing you panicked about this morning. "I don't know." You responded, "What do you need help with?" You asked as you stretched and yawned. "Well, Axl-..." "I didn't do fucking anything!" You heard Axl scream from the kitchen. The sounds of his pounding footsteps approached you and Izzy, "And if you tell Duff that-... Oh?" He paused when he saw that it was just the two of you and smirked at you. "Axl I'm gonna grind your balls on the cheese grater, nothing happened between us." You told him firmly, while pointing at him. He held his hands up in surrender with an even smugger look on his face and waltzed back to the kitchen.

In the end, Duff went out to get more food and booze. While he was gone you helped clean the mess Axl made in the kitchen, he someone caught the sink on fire when he wanted to 'cool off' and 'fix' his jet black, hard ashy bacon he conjured up. You also made them new breakfast and taught Axl how to properly cook bacon, he was very reluctant at first and cussed you out, but he soon had a laugh about it. "This is so fucking good." Steven sighed as he inhaled his breakfast "Can't you just stay here forever and make this every morning." He smiled, and his blonde hair bounced like popcorn popping in the microwave. "Yeah, and sleep with Duff every night" Axl's deep voice range over the table. You looked up to see him and Slash giggling with each other like two teenage girls. Izzy had a disgusted look on his face, and Duff started to go a bit red. "That's not what happened. Y/n slept in my room, and I slept on the couch. That's it." Duff cleared his voice, you were grateful, but you knew Axl couldn't help himself. "I need to call my manager. Can I use the phone?" You asked. Duff nodded and you stood up, so did he but he was heading for the bathroom. "That phone and my dick are the only thing that work in this damn house." Axl said as he dumped his dishes in the sink and tried to turn the tap. You rolled your eyes as you punched in the numbers of your manager.

"Hey, I got a band. They're sick. I just know they'll be the biggest thing ever." You spoke, you didn't say this just to make the guys favour you, you already knew that they are in the future. "I trust your intuition. We'll be able to get them a studio in a few months, it's a bit busy here. We might be able to get them into Sound City. How many members?" Your manager spoke. "Five" You answered, "That might take a bit longer then, sorry doll." He spoke. "But don't worry, we'll slot them in soon." "Thanks sir." You responded. "Oh, and your landlord called in 'cause he couldn't get hold of you, I can switch him over for you." He said. "Yes, thank you."

There was a beep, a pause, and a static crack. You heard your landlord cough up flehm, and his cigarette voice rang through the phone. "Who's this again?" He chewed. "Y/n? You called my work today." You answered. "Oh yeah, I had to throw your shit out. I got some high paying tenants coming in, sorry toots." And he hung up the phone.

You stood there with the phone in hand, shocked, your mouth slightly a gape, paralysed. Every emotion was rushing through you, anger was the biggest one. You could see now why there was a large hole in the wall next to phone, you wanted to punch something too. A swarm of fear and panic ran through your head, there was a loud ringing in your ear. You didn't even realise someone was calling your name, you snapped out of it, you felt a tear run down your cheek and wiped it away quickly. "Hey, you okay? What'd they say?" Axl asked as he dried one of the dishes. "Hm? Oh, yeah, he said we could get a studio in a few months. It's gonna be a private one just for you guys so that's why." You explained, trying not to burst into tears and hope they didn't notice. "Cool!" Slash said, as he pumped the air and shoulder bumped with Steven. "Excuse me a minute." You spoke and dashed out the front door. You felt sick, you wanted to throw up, your legs were shaking.

You sank to the steps of the front porch and put your head on your knees. "Shit." You choked back tears, you were thinking of all the things that are probably in some disgusting New York dumpster getting eaten by rats. Your polaroid's of friends, favourite clothes, shit your whole record collection, even the stuff your dead relatives gave you. It was all gone. You breathed hard, you didn't want to cry, you didn't want to panic. You already had enough of it, and it's only been a day. Your heart jumped when you heard the door open and one of the floorboards creak. "Yo, the guys are gonna head to a bar you wanna-... Oh shit." It was Slash. He hissed as he sucked in air, he didn't know what to do. "You okay?" "No, No, I'm fine. I just needed air." You coughed as you got up. He knew something was up, but you weren't budging and he didn't want to step over boundaries. "Hey babes, you going or not?... Shit, you look wrecked." But there was always Axl to step over the line for you. The ginger look confused, at you. Your eyes were red, ready to explode. "Does the place stink that much?" He laughed, but it was just silence. Awkward silence. Slash gave him a look. "Hey, sorry I-... what's wrong?" He put a hand on your shoulder and asked sincerely. "My landlord kicked me out..." You whispered quietly, "All my stuff is gone." You started to tear up thinking about it, and how embarrassing it was that you were about to cry in front of your new band. Slash came in to hug you, his hair covered your face so no one could see the stream of tears rolling down your cheeks. "Hey, hey, it's okay let it out. You can cry." His soft voice was like a lullaby. You rested your head on his chest as you sobbed and hugged him. Axl rubbed your back, making small jokes and flirts trying to lighten your mood. You tried your hardest to stop crying, you sniffed as you lifted your head off Slash's chest. "Thanks guys." You sighed a chuckle while wiping your face. "You can still come with us to the bar, it'll cheer you up. Promise." Axl said craning his neck over your shoulder to look at you. You exhaled and nodded a yes.

You washed your face before going out, and told Axl and Slash not to tell anyone. You just wanted to forget about it and drink. You dressed into a pair of black jeans, docs, a black white tank and your trusty leather jacket. You and the guys were downtown in a dark bar drink at 12 and it felt good honestly. You were sitting in a red leather booth, Axl next to you with his arm on top of the booth behind you, Steven on your other side, Slash, Izzy then Duff at the other end of the booth. You and Duff were on your 5th shot of Vodka, giggling about anything and nothing. You snapped out of it when you felt a tap on your shoulder, you looked to Steven, but it was Axl who had his arm looming over your shoulder from behind the booth seat. He had his hat on with sunglasses so you couldn't make direct eye contact with him but god his eyes were still pulling you in. "I was thinking... Why don't you stay with us?" You nearly spat out the drink that wasn't in your mouth. "Seriously?" "You still got your job don't ya? So, it won't take that long for you to get enough money to get your own place again. Besides, we'll be racking in your money sweetheart." He spoke nonchalantly as he waved his hand around. Did you really want to live in a hell hole with five stinky men? Five hot stinky men. You did have enough money to help them fix some of the things in their place, it would be a fair trade. They were also a joy to be around, and you had to get to know them better one way or another for this band thing to work. "What about the others-...?" You whispered to him, but he started to speak loudly to the rest of the group. "Give a round of applause to our new guest in the Hell House! We'll be eating like kings while she finds a new place." He rose his glass drunkenly, Steven and Duff clapped as Slash whooped. Duff stared at you with a big grin on his face. Either from excitement or alcohol. Izzy didn't look amused, he looked somewhat agitated, and he clutched his glass tighter till his knuckles went white. "Where will I sleep?" You asked the ginger. "You can always sleep with me babe. In more ways than one." His glasses fell to the bridge of his nose, and you could see his blue eyes, he winked and pushed them back up. You rolled your eyes. "It's fine, I'll buy my own mattress. Who knows how many different stains are on yours." You said. He punched your shoulder playfully and chuckled, you did too.

The rest of the day was you and the guys on a bar crawl, you laughed with all of them about different stories they told you, even with Izzy; after a few bottles of wine, he chuckled at your jokes. It was around 9, and everyone was smashed, smashed enough to still walk but not enough to use common sense. It was a miracle that Axl hadn't started a fight or Steven didn't throw up in someone's drink. You and Slash were on your way to pick up more drinks from the bar when some drunk guy came up and started flirting with you, he started coming closer. His breath stunk you physically stepped back and began cussing him out for it, but he didn't stop. Slash slightly stepped Infront of you, he was getting uncomfortable with this stranger's presence too. "Hey man, just back off." Slash warned. "What, and your skinny ass is gonna beat me up?" He drunkenly scoffed. He quickly grabbed your ass, dodging Slash's body in front of yours, Slash didn't have time to respond to the assault. Someone tapped the drunk man's shoulder, "You fucking bitch." It was Axl, he then swiftly sucker punched him square in the face. The man yelled, Axl grabbed his collar and started repeatedly bashed his face with his fist. A crowd started forming and bartenders yelled at him to get out. You and Slash started to pull Axl away from the man, "Ax get off him! You're gonna kill him!" You yelled at him. "That's the point!" He huffed as he was still reaching and grabbing for the man even though he was backing away, nearly unconscious and scared for his life. With the help from other strangers, you got Axl off him and all of you were kicked out. Axl was panting and still in a rage, yelling and screaming that he's going to finish that guy's ass. You finally got him to calm down with the help of Izzy.

The rest of the night Izzy didn't talk, he was furious, furious with you and Axl. Slash and Steven were worried about you and tried to comfort you, but you were okay, just startled. You didn't want to make a big deal of it. Duff felt the tension between Izzy and you, and he tried to explain that it wasn't your fault, but you told Duff to leave it. You didn't know why Izzy was out to get you, but you tried not to think too much about it. When you got home Izzy went straight to bed, so did Slash, Steven did too but only after he threw up in the toilet as you held his hair up. You sat by the small wooden table by the kitchen where you ate this morning and bandaged Axl's knuckles. "This might sting." You warned, as you patted a cotton pad with disinfectant on his knuckle. He hissed and wriggled, you could feel he was still agitated and angry. "That was a nice thing you did back there. Thank you." You told him. His eyes widened, he was surprised. "Next time just don't try kill the man." You said as you wrapped his hand. He gave a breathy laugh and smiled at you. "Nice boys don't play rock 'n doll darling." He scoffed light heartedly. There was pause. You waited for him to realise something. "Shit, that's a great fucking lyric." He got off the table and scavenged for a piece of paper and a pen. You rolled your eyes at him as you packed away the med kit you had in your bag. Axl soon went to bed after he scribbled aggressively and attentively on the paper. It was just you and Duff again. He took out a bottle of vodka from under the couch he had been saving, and you shared it. By the end of it the two of you were out of it, wobbly legs, slurred speech, couldn't think and couldn't speak. You both stumble into Duff's room and as soon as you hit the bed you were gone, Duff giggled and did the same. His one arm laid on your back and both pair of legs were sprawled out on the bed, and his feet dangling off the side of the bed. Soft snores were heard from the two of you, and loud ones from Slash's room as the whole house slept.

[battle-subway-aftershow]

Inconspicuous mustache and glasses on, soooo you wanna talk about how galar could be good huh?

Points at you this is all your fucking fault (/j)

Anyways you’ve poked me so I’m going to talk about it now. Sorry not sorry.

Before I say anything: “Moth, Tinker, don’t like, all your characters live in galar?” Yes! Because when you’re making an au for Pokémon why make a region out of scratch, when Game Freak’s left a perfectly good blank slate for you right there?

Anyways with that out of the way, I’m putting this under a cut because this is going to be long.

Sword and shield are such disappointing games. You could say a million things about it— the graphics, the routes, the nat dex cut, so on and so forth, but that’s a long dead horse and im not going to start beating it.

I like Sw/Sh’s story. Or, more accurately I like the idea of the story that the games tried and failed to give us. I really want to say there’s something there to grasp at, but honestly? There’s not. Nothing burger ass game.

The plot up until the climax of the story is “The darkest day was a thing and there was a hero that stopped it. Bede’s mean and wants wishing stars. Wait, what?! There’s two heroes? And badass dogs? No way!”

It genuinely feels like they had a full story arc with plot beats written out, but had to scratch everything besides the climax and try to fill in the gaping plot holes as quickly as they could before they hit the deadline for release. It’s so jarring and bizarre when you reach the climax of the story, because it’s just… out of nowhere? You and Hop try to break into the Macro Cosmos tower to interrupt Leon’s meeting because he was… late for dinner? And Oleana hears this and starts acting like an unhinged evil antagonist out of nowhere, even though at the moment not letting you in is just, perfectly logical?

And then the whole hide and seek game she does for the keys— Team Yell joining in, none of this feels deserved at all, probably because there was, I don’t know, supposed to be things happening before this that properly built up to it?

It’s so frustrating, because if they had even executed the story at all, it would’ve been so cool. The guy who practically MADE galar is re-awakening what is basically an eldritch god in a misguided attempt to save the region from future disaster (trauma? Paranoia? All of the above?) but his plan backfires and nearly destroys everything instead??? It’s such a cool idea! And it’s just. Barely even executed at all.

Oleana and Rose both could’ve been such interesting characters. Their Pokémon teams are symbolic of themselves as people, for crying out loud! Imagine how cool those fights, especially Oleana’s, could’ve been if there had been a proper fucking storyline??

(I won’t go too in-depth, but Oleana using beautiful and feminine Pokémon up until her g-max garbador ace— a literal heaping pile of trash? And how that represents the her horrible personality hidden behind her appearance?

And how Rose’s team is made up of thorn and thorn-like Pokémon, as well as industrial Pokémon and his childhood starter? Without a rose in sight? He’s lost who he was to the pursuit of innovation or something. There’s no Rose anymore, only the thorns. Too bad there’s nothing before these moments.)

It ends up just feeling like a barely even executed dollar store version of Sun and Moon. You’ve got the punk evil team who isn’t actually evil, the altruistic company/foundation that turns out to be far worse than the evil team, extraterrestrial pokemon who are very debatably Pokémon being brought into the world and causing problems? Yeah everything screams “we tried to recreate the s/m formula,” down to Hop using Hau’s animations. Insane.

(Also team yell feels like another dead horse that I don’t want to beat— but they don’t work like Team Skull did. Team skull worked! Really well in my opinion! Meanwhile Team Yell is just… kind of a vague nuisance. I get that was the point, but if Macro Cosmos was going to be the villains— why not give any buildup beforehand? Oh well. I said I wouldn’t beat the dead horse.)

Tl;dr: Sword and shield is barely even trash, it’s an empty dumpster with some unopened cans in it and I am sitting in there playing with the cans trying to create a coherent story out of it. Man galar’s good if only it was good. Go watch Twilight wings it’s Galar if it was good

And also sw/sh feels uncannily like bootleg sun and moon, bri’ish edition.

[ezralovezuuuu]

i’m going to start sharing my marauders era head cannons bc why tf not. i have two i would like to share as of rn…

1) remus has a HEAVY welsh accent and only lily can understand wtf he’s saying when he’s pissed. like to the point everyone looks at lily for a translation.

a good example of this is that one eminem song (looked it up it’s called Under The Influence) that says, “translation? so you can suck my dick if you don’t like me shit” bc everyone is asking lily what he said lol.

2) lily, peter, evan and sirius are all asexual. i have so many sexuality and gender head cannons that im probably gonna share at some point but the only person i see that people hc as asexual is pete which rly sucks bc people do it because he’s plus sized and because he ends up being a horrible person. like he still had a childhood he wasn’t a bad person then or the other three wouldn’t have been friends with him. anyways i love the hc that sirius is asexual bc people often hc him as EXTREMELY sexual. i find it a bit unrealistic that in a group of 13 queer teenagers only one was on the asexual spectrum yk?

anywho that’s itttt. hope i can share more in the future :P

[todomitoukei]

as something positive for a change from the gloom and misery we are all going through after this horrible ending, can you share how would you want Touya and Todofamily's ideal ending to go?

Thank you for giving me an opportunity to share my very detailed version of what the ending should be (I tried to keep it short but alas, I failed).

First of all, let's assume Shigaraki and Toga died (don't worry, I'm bringing them back!) and Touya is in that tank, supposedly almost dead. Here's a shortened (it's not short) version of what I the ending could be instead and no, I don't care if it's unrealistic, at this point anything is better-written than what Hori came up with anyway:

While Touya is still alive, he gets closer to dying, enabling him to see people that have died but haven't "crossed over" yet (yes, I was obsessed with Ghost Whisperer growing up don't @ me), namely Shigaraki and Toga, who are on the verge of being able to do so, yet believe that Shigaraki might be able to bring them back and also heal Touya (look, I haven't properly read this manga but something something the decay quirk was half of the Overhaul quirk minus the option to undo damage? So in this version, he can somehow undo damage now, yes, I make the rules<3).

Anyway, before doing any of this they actually need to contact Touya because people are about to perform an autopsy? cremate? Toga, so they want to stop that to make it easier to bring her back to life.

They explain all of this to Touya and tell him he needs to tell someone to bring Toga's body to where he is to make this whole thing easier. Fortunately, Natsuo is visiting him in that moment (he deserves to be included because he is best boy<3). Long story short, Toga's body is being brought to where Touya is (They also had to bring in the Chief of Police and Hawks for this special situation), and Shigaraki manages to resurrect her.

She also still had some of Twice's blood, which she uses to turn into him (probably insults Hakws as revenge<3) and create a copy of Shigaraki - the plan is basically for Shigaraki to find a way to take over the copy of his body. He manages to do so before also restoring Touya's body to a non-dying state again.

They then have to sit down with the Chief of Police and Hawks to discuss what happened and also to make a deal for the future since putting the villains in jail when the heroes get to keep living life despite the crimes they committed is bs etc etc, therefore Shigaraki pushes for all the lov members to be released from prison and also receive support from the HPSC (Idk what they changed their name to) - an actual second chance for them to start anew, a life without crime etc.

They settle on being given a building for them to live in and start a sort of shelter for kids like they once were; kids that are on the street, the kind of kid that their society doesn't deem worthy of saving, that people turn away from and that could potentially turn to crime as a last resort just like they did.

So in the end, Spinner and Compress get released from prison - and yes, Compress gets his ass back - and they all get to live and work together. They somehow also bring back Kurogiri.

Also, Touya has had enough of his father monologuing about how sad and pathetic he is so just like Natsuo, he decides to not talk to him anymore because he finally realizes that his father is simply not worth it. In other words, Endvr is out of the picture once and for all.

Rei will also be involved in the new lov project because you cannot tell me that this woman spent 10 years locked away in a mental hospital only to be released and push the man that put her in the mental hospital in the first place around in his wheelchair that he is more than capable of using on his own??? (It's so painfully obvious that a man wrote this story) So she becomes the lov mom and is finally free from her abuser too.

Fuyumi can move in with them too, she and Toga deserve to have a sister/female friend because I can only imagine how tough it was for Toga to only be around men after big sis mag died. Touya will try really hard to be a good big brother now so Fuyumi can finally relax. And by relax I mean Touya will annoy the shit out of her and let her forget all her responsibilities and feel like a kid again. Justice for all the bnha girlies who otherwise only exist to serve men or die because god forbid a teenage girl shows emotions and does a bit of stabbing once in a while.

Natsuo and his girlfriend will also move in with them. Once Touya hears about Natsuo's wedding plans he has a serious word with him and Natsuo promises him to wait a little longer and get married for the right reasons instead of out of spite because both Natsuo and his girlfriend deserve better. Besides, since Natsuo is studying something similar to social work, he can help the lov with their project (and gain work experience at the same time!).

Obviously there is also room for Shouto and he stays over for the weekend and also visits during the week. Touya learns to make soba for him (not like the failed attempt Natsuo and Shouto had in one of the light novels lol). Touya also teaches Shouto some social skills - it's unclear whether this is good or bad.

This way, Shouto can also finally spend some quality time with his family and be treated like the kid he still is instead of having to be a hero for his own family. Compress can become some kind of father-figure for him. Also, Shouto and Shigaraki bond over being the youngest sibling. Touya calls them out for being the youngest every chance he gets.

In summary, the lov and Todofam live together in peace and they all support each other in figuring out who they are etc etc.

The End.<3

Thanks for coming to my TED talk!

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

still thinking about yaz travelling with 10 so heres what i have so far:

she runs into him in london coming out of an interview for unit or smth, a couple of months after potd. for him it's in the gap between waters of mars and end of time. hes So Messed Up and yaz is like oh i know this. this is familiar. this might not be my doctor but,,,,this is my doctor

hes like oh what year is this? i was aiming for- and shes like dont ask me i keep getting it mixed up too. and hes like thats a bit of a strange thing to say, do we know each other? you seem familiar. shes like yes we've met

she surmises he doesnt have company bc hes all high on ginger and not trying to hide it. then shes like youre not flying like this, can i take you anywhere bc this is a fucking tardis and a fucking doctor available to her and how many more times is she gonna get this opportunity? never? once, and she has to wait for it 40 more years? no way is she just gonna walk past and go home. shes gonna do what shes always done and buy herself a little more time

she lets herself into the tardis, too sure of herself for him to really do anything abt it, as she asks "where did you say you were going?" he closes the doors "eternity"

"eternity?" she looks at him "is that a euphemism"

"it's a planet. in the larger magellanic cloud. thought maybe i should check up. sorry but who are you, exactly?"

shes like yes. um. yasmin khan. im a friend. as she stares at the tardis in wonder like the first time she walked in. and the tardis lights up bc she doesnt care about linear time and she loves yaz. so yaz starts putting in coordinates. she has to search for some of the controls bc the console is different but it's not too bad

"well thats great to hear, yasmin khan. can never have enough of those"

"larger magellanic cloud" she says looking at the navigation on one of the screens. "dyou ever think it's maybe a bit weird to name things in space after colonists?"

"well depends whos doing the naming. we dont call it that"

"no? what do timelords call it"

"and seeing as it were human colonists who settled there, maybe the name fits"

"there goes my faith in humanity" and she pulls the takeoff lever

the flight is bumpy as ever and when muscle memory fails her three times in a row shes like oh my god WHERE is your conceptual geometer and instead of pointing it out to her he just walks over and adjusts it and the way he does it is so familiar she has to blink hard a couple times

they might or might not end up on eternity but they certainly run promptly into trouble. yaz is a bit mysterious to him, a bit suspicious maybe because she wont answer any question directly but shes able to anticipate him so well that teamwork is pretty much seamless and theyre both running away from something so their motives line up and their need for something fun and exciting and distracting to happen too and also hes lonely and despite the way she basically hijacked his tardis he likes yaz bc of course he does

they match up timelines while hiding from guards, whispering about 1969 and weeping angels and "oh THATS why i dont remember, two doctors in the same place same time" and he figures out yaz travelled with future him

yaz drops a "she" and hes like "she??" and shes like oh shit should i not have said that and hes like no it's fine. and then hes like "does it suit me?" and she does Not manage to blink the tears away at that one

"is it something i said?" and then the guards spot them and hes like "RUN"

the ease with which he takes her hand as they run is lovely and horrible at the same time. she lets herself be dragged along while she thinks about the way 13 shook them off almost any time any of them touched her

a week & 8 planets in and shes been held by him more than shes been held by 13

they become buddies in like the way that you can sometimes become buddies with the younger sibling of your best friend or something. hes probably too heartbroken and messed up to develop a real crush but it's still yaz right? you know the way 10 kisses claras hand in the day of the doctor? that vibe. and yaz, with the benefit of.........foresight? hindforesight? picks up that vibe here that she couldnt with 13. bc 10 is young and a fountain of emotion compared to 13

my yaz is pretty firmly a lesbian so even if she was gonna get over the like very recent heartbreak and younger sibling vibes then still nothing was gonna happen here but theyre also both not in a place where they could cope with another heartbreak like that so like,,,,,,they both know, and they both know that they both know, but they dont need anything more so it just kinda makes them better buddies. sometimes youre a little bit in love with your friend in a way you dont want to act on. just another thing to bond over

and for yaz it's maybe a little bit healing to get 10s adoration like that

at some point the fact of meeting in the wrong order also comes up of course. yaz is like it's a little bit complicated, i dont know what i can say and 10 is like meh follow your instincts, youve got good ones i can tell. and if theres really something you shouldnt say i'll stop you

yaz is like does that happen a lot, as a time traveller i mean, meeting people in the wrong order? and 10 is like [THINKING ABOUT RIVER] "from time to time"

i just think theres a lot of potential for fun with the two of them. both of them running from the inevitable. not wanting to lose who they are, wanting more time as this version of themselves

yaz will learn so much about the doctor that retroactively contextualises a lot of 13, which i think could help in getting a little bit of closure. and theres so much river echoes sort of going in both ways. yaz flying the tardis with 10 because she learnt with 13, river later flying with 11

i also think seeing the way 10 is about his principles compared to how 13 was would be interesting. she would see a lot of the ways the doctor has grown up. yaz got to see so much of 12 in 13s trauma but she never got to see how 12 learnt and grew to become the 13 she loved. i think it would be special to see 10. see how they used to be. and also slap him on the fingers sometimes when he needs it

i dont know how to end it yet because that will just be more tragedy. 10 still ends up in end of time. yaz still ends up home. but maybe they can help each other a little bit in the time inbetween, even if the end theyre running from still comes to them both

[basil-appreciation-comic]

IMPORTANT UPDATE!!

the comic is cancelled. you probably already assumed that since i havent posted anything about it in a while but yeah the things dead now lol. mainly because i dont care much about omori anymore, the comic sucked, and it was too much effort. i feel kinda bad about leaving you guys in the dark for this long tho, so i thought id go ahead and include all the scrapped stuff for the comic that never got finished

while i was writing the comic i started a google doc that laid out ideas i had for future pages. heres that if you wanna know how the story ends

it was written over several months and (most) things are in order of where they go on the timeline not when i wrote them so it might be a little hard to follow

also some art i never posted

(at least i dont think ive posted the last one)

i quoted not liking this comic as one of the reasons i stopped so let me explain that with a list of things id change about this if i were to remake it (which i wont)

remove the swearing that was so stupid

make omori mute (and probably use sign language)

omori does not express fear or stress in-game, thats sunnys job. quit it

he also does not cry and generally shows emotions (even the big ones) in more subtle ways (which i think i was trying to shift towards later in the doc) idk why he was so emotional all the time

literally everything about how i portrayed omori actually that was all just awful

the panic attack scene is fucking embarrassing i have no clue what i was thinking. im so sorry for writing it like that i did 0 research beforehand

make it shorter why did i think that would work out

id probably just make it a fic, comics take way too much outta me compared to just writing things

it does not need a big epic ending and probably shouldve ended not long after they escaped black space

the romance is horrible but thats the foundation of the comic so idek what id do about that

stop making everyone talk like therapists 24/7

and yeah it has a lot of problems but i still do care about this due to the ammount of effort and love ive put into it, i just cant and dont want to continue it

so yeah thats where this story ends ig. i had a lot of fun along the way, and thank you so much for all the support. bigger thanks to that one sunflower discord server (if you came from there you know which one) for being my main motivation and support throughout this journey. sucks this comic never got to see its full potential but im relieved to finally lay it to rest. the blog will stay up for archival purposes but i will not continue the comic any further obviously. the ask box will remain open if you wanna say anything or if you have a question about the story or whatever. thanks for reading.

[tyedyeinherveins]

My thoughts on the new Linkin Park...which are JUST MY OPINIONS.

As a teen I remember my first favorite BAND(I was a pop girl before this) being Linkin Park, I had their posters on my wall, I had shirts and bought all the magazines they were featured in. I had all the albums and in my depressed moments(which were a lot at times) I replayed "My December" and "Somewhere I Belong" probably a bazillion times. I was a mega fan for years and their lyrics helped me endure tough times.

Eventually as time went on I discovered Good Charlotte and thus began my emo phase and I listened to LP less and less but the love never died.

Fast forward to the day I heard the news...I remember exactly where I was.

My Mom,Daughter and myself were at the doctors office with my Grandpa who was starting to have health issues(he was in his 90s) My daughter and i were in the waiting room while they went in with the doctor.

I got a text, I cant remember from who(maybe my ex?) I'm not sure,but the text read " did you hear about Chester?" At this point I hadn't but as soon as I go onto FB im bombarded with posts like Rip Chester Bennington & Linkin Park front man dead from suicide. I audibly gasp which makes a few heads turn in the waiting room. I can feel the tears burning my eyes but I can't cry around all these people so I held it in But to say my heart was broken was an understatement. The rest of the day I felt numb.

Someone who helped so many of us with our demons couldn't outrun his own in the end. Utterly tragic and such a horrible loss for the music world. And I still feel this way and still struggle deeply myself with depression and my own mind. Sometimes I picture Chester in those final moments because sometimes I feel so low that I wonder what it would be like in those moments but I have kids I have to care for and if I'm gone there is no one else here responsible enough to take care of them. So I live for them, even when I wish so badly that I wouldn't wake up some days. (The song Heavy could could been legit been written about me) I wish Chester could have found some peace in his life, I truly hope he has it now.

I still mourn his death,I probably will forever. Will there be a day I can watch his last performance(I also have thoughts on this, the look in his eyes) and not cry? Doubtful.

Fast forward to last week when LP announced a new lead singer.

*I audibly sigh* I have such mixed emotions I don't know where to begin.

Even before they announced I always said I wish they could do what the band Apocalyptica does and just have guest singers on new tracks OR have Mike be the new main vocalist. I still stand by this.

I have absolutely nothing against Emily because frankly I know nothing about her. Her voice is fine and I may even check out HER band in the future but why does this feel like a punch in the gut?!

I never got to see LP live and if I remember correctly they were touring or getting ready to with MGK before Chester died. I remember saying I wanted to get tickets if they were near me...unfortunately that never happened. I see that LP plans a tour soon with Emily, and I don't think I could bring myself to go. If it were just the original guys i would absolutely, it's just not the same not to mention we are down 2 original members as well?! No I don't think my heart could handle finally seeing them live but like this. I'll pass.

Why not just start a new band with a new name at this point? I'd support that. Don't sing old LP songs with Emily.

Recently I saw Chester's son had lots to say about it(nothing good) while I understand I don't think I agree with it to the extreme he does but then again Chester wasn't my dad so maybe he knows more than we do? I don't know.

I don't doubt Mike and the guys love and miss Chester too but there's no LP without Chester in my opinion. I don't even doubt that Chester would give this his blessing but I'm sorry I can't get behind it.

Also,tell me what band that replaced their lead singer has ever done well after doing so? I can't think of any.

Anyways....big sigh. I wanted to get my thoughts out there.

I do plan at some point to get a tattoo of Chester,once I find the right photograph and a artist that will do it justice.

Gonna go listen to some old LP now.

Much love.

National Hotlines

* 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988

* Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

* Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

Online Resources

* National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): https://www.nami.org/

* The Jed Foundation: https://jedfoundation.org/

* MentalHealth.gov: https://youth.gov/federal-links/mentalhealthgov

[officialauthorofanotherworld]

ROAW Stuff - Weekly Writing Post #1 (spoilers)

Hello!

Since this is just the first real post i've made that isn't an introduction, I won't talk about any lore stuff this time. The reason im doing weekly is because having a schedule feels better than doing it randomly, and also because i didnt know what to title this post. Maybe I will do it randomly anyway, we'll see. It just depends.

For future context, the series title is Record of Another World, abbreviated as ROAW. The "collection" title (encompassing the "main" series) is Party of Three. The first book will likely also be called Party of Three. idk if that makes sense.

So I suppose like how you have A Song of Ice and Fire - Game of Thrones, or A Song of Ice and Fire - A Tale of Dunk and Egg, you have Record of Another World - Book 1, Party of Three, Party of Three(?) idk lol

In any case, in this post I wanted to go over who the people in my book are in a bit more detail, as that feels like an appropriate first "real" post, to me.

Taka

Starting off with our main POV, we have Taka. When he was born, his parents didn't want to deal with the burden of a child, so they gave him up to a lizardfolk who had been a part of their party for a very long time. This lizardfolk, named Dane, became Taka's adoptive parent. At the beginning of book 1, Taka has just turned fifteen, the age of majority in Kommodia (and the age one is allowed to register as an adventurer) and wants to experience the world for himself.

He may have seen a lot of the world traveling on Dane's ship (Dane is a captain with his very own port, and at a certain point became responsible for the Advent Route, which is the sea path from ports to adventurer-centric towns.) but he wants to see it on his own two legs, of his own volition. He wants to explore, and meet new people, try new things. He wants to live, and satisfy the intense wanderlust he'd harbored for so long.

Even still, he is very young at fifteen, and has a lot of anxiety and worries.

Taka is neurodivergent, like most people in my book are in some way. He has ADHD and Autism.

Soon enough, Taka finds himself wrapped up in a world of adventure, surrounded by people he never thought he'd meet, friends with people he never could have possibly thought he'd befriend.

Beriyl

Next up is Beriyl! He is a half-elf who hails from a very prestigious noble family. While he can come off as abrasive and even incendiary at times, he has his moments of genuine caring and warmth. He connects with Taka on a very deep level, I think.

Beriyl is probably one of my favorites to write because he's a know-it-all, he possesses a very large vocabulary and REALLY wants to show it off. He's spent so much time cooped up reading, his brain is a literal vault of random tidbits and facts. He is a textbook bookworm, and he *will *make sure you know it. He's very snarky and sarcastic and I find some of his exchanges with Taka really funny. Their dynamic, although it softens with time, is one of my favorite things ever. Not unlike Taka, I believe Beriyl also has Autism.

Arthur

Last of team Lucky Seven, Arthur.

When we first meet him, he's incredibly depressed, giving off this awful vibe of a man who has all but given up. He hasn't slept in days, probably hasn't eaten or drank much either. His eyes dark pits of horrible despair, but gradually he learns to live again, to love and forgive himself.

The rest is a bit spoiler-y, revealed within the first half of the book. I will be spoiler marking it, but just so you all know! (The stuff at the end about Rend is never revealed, so that counts as lore i guess)

Anyway, pretty big spoilers actually, and i cant hide them because tumblr doesnt have a spoiler text feature for some reason, and i cant figure it out with html or anything. All of this is revealed at roughly 55% through the book or so, so i guess it is pretty massive spoilers. Don't read the stuff about Arthur, skip down to the Advent Route if you don't want to be spoiled on Arthur's backstory and my read on his mental state.

Arthur is a sufferer of extreme PTSD, he likely has DID. When he tells Taka and Beriyl of his past, of how he felt when his friend and family died, when his town was razed to the ground, I believe it's really hard for him to really stay "present". I think he probably suffers from an extreme emotional block, he feels very absent and er, numb, I think is the right word. When he was a mercenary, I don't imagine he was truly himself. I do think he created a separate persona who didn't think or feel just so he could get through it. At that point I think he was just biding his time until he died, only truly happy when he was able to do things that reminded him of his parents like train or cook. Yet, we see that when he meets Taka and Beriyl, he starts to look better. He starts to sleep, to eat. He makes Taka and Beriyl his life's goal, his one true priority. He becomes unhealthily co-dependent on their safety and existence, so I think that reflects in how overwhelmingly overprotective he is, how quick he is to justify violence in the sake of defending Taka and Beriyl. Without them, he never would have had the "color" restored to his world. He'd still be wandering in a storm without a light. Taka and Beriyl are that light-- without them, he would be dead, most likely.||

Hell. He says it himself: how he tells them he'd become an adventurer to die helping someone, so he'd have an excuse for Rend in the afterlife.

(little does he know, Rend died young enough, and as a person who was isekaied to Tamalnh without his memories from Earth, the Gods allowed him to reincarnate again. He is the Spear Warrior that Taka asks for directions to the guild in Chapter 1.) I will elaborate more on how this works, how the afterlife and things like that work, and summoning and blablabla, all will be explained in a future post.

some minor adjustments 8-26-24. Rend cannot be the Spear Warrior, iirc Arthur was a merc for about 10-15 years, from 18-26? i think? Smth like that, anyway, that means Spear Warrior would have had to have been born the instant Rend died, so... it makes more sense to believe he isn't the Spear Warrior, but someone else. Arthur will probably meet him (whoever rend reincarnated into) towards the end of his (arthur's) life.

Now, about the Advent Route...

The Advent Route, to be better explained, sort of works like this.

On Kommodia, the most popular starting town at present is Leln, a town named after the legendary hero who felled a Dark God several thousand years prior.

Each port runs along a prescribed route and anchors on the coastline. From the coast, adventurers are taken via carriage to the town of their choosing.

Simply put, the Advent Route is a searoute chosen specifically to maximize safety and efficiency, seeing all those who'd wish to become adventurers to their destinations with relative safety, barring extreme circumstance. It is conducted at a time of year (the book starts as summer ends.) where the water in the sea becomes cold enough that sea monsters like Krakens and such go into a state of hibernation.

I'll do a follow-up post talking about the people Lucky Seven meet at the end of ch1 and their incredibly important role in the overarching story, also with spoiler tags soon. I will also elaborate on the afterlife/reincarnation process and what that really means, how people were summoned from another world, their role, and about what a "starting town" actually means.

[soursturniolo]

I’ve sent this to other people too I just want opinions but I feel like at this point of the triplets fame and them being so young they’re going to get exposed for some shit soon it always happens with young creators and i think it’ll happen to them too. I hope they’ll be able to move past it. what do you think?

i mean, I’ll agree that yes being exposed for something is a thing that does end up happening to a lot of young creators. I’ll give you that.

But there’s no way to tell the future. People have tried “exposing” them before and thus far it’s always just been rumors or shit with no proof (as far as i know, im new here compared to many so I could very much be wrong about that)

With the triplets compared to other creators I’ve seen get exposed for some fucked shit, the difference is that i honestly think they have good heads on their shoulders and good values. i think they’re still pretty grounded and down to earth guys. I don’t think LA and Hollywood has “gotten to them” or “gone to their heads” the way it often does young people who move there for opportunities, and i truly hope it never does. So if i had to bet money, if they ever are “exposed” for anything it’ll probably be something childish that people make a bigger deal out of than it needs to be, like say drinking once they turn 21 or maybe a relationship they were keeping quiet gets exposed. Idk.

But I could also be very horribly wrong. I hope im not, but I could be. You never know. That’s the funny thing about the future, you just have to wait and see.

[everythingsinred]

I spent a whole day reading your Natsume analysis and am so excited to read Mikan's version. I wanted to ask about your thoughts on what Natsume was doing during the four years he was apart from Mikan. In Kageki, we learn that he took a lot of missions to get credit. But what do you think his mental state was like? Do you have any fic recs? I love making myself sad from Natsumikan angst.

hi! im so happy you read the natsume analysis! it makes me happy to hear people enjoyed it! i just recently made a table of contents for my essays and general ga postings so if you need help navigating the mikan essays, check out my pinned post <3

to answer your questions about what natsume was up to while mikan was gone, im pretty sure in kageki narumi mentioned that natsume had some negative behavior and attitude, but the extent of that is left vague. allegedly the missions he went on after she left were not alice-heavy or life-threatening but we know that one of those missions was to be toma's bodyguard and... bodyguarding tends to be dangerous? thats in the job description, pretty much literally. im not entirely sure how he was expected to bodyguard WITHOUT using his alice, but thats what they imply. did he take martial arts? did he carry a gun? who knows really. either way he should not have been permitted to continue doing any missions.

just in general, i think he was pretty depressed without mikan around. i mean natsume was in a HORRIBLE suicidal depression for two years before he met her and falling in love with her happened because she saw value in his life that he hadnt seen before. while she was there, he had developed a sense of purpose in his life and a will to live he hadnt had. it was bc of her that he started bonding with class b. now that shes gone, im sure hes very upset especially because its not certain he'll ever be allowed to see her again, granted he even lives that long.

but as much as i see him being depressed and a little miserable, he still has friends and a strong support system at the academy now. he has his best friend, plus the kids he allowed himself to befriend while mikan was around. theres pictures in the memorial book that depict middle-school aged natsume hanging out with The Boiz, and there's photographs in kageki that imply he wasnt completely isolating himself from his classmates during mikan's absence.

so with that in mind, i think he's depressed and sad about mikan being gone for sure, but he still has a will to live, a support system, and a sense of purpose (seeing mikan again) so that he isnt ENTIRELY devastated during those few years.

we can see when he reunites with her that he kinda expected her to remember him as soon as she saw him, and that gives us insight into how exactly he processed her stolen memories. (smth like, "she doesnt remember anything. so even if i did see her id probably have to make her fall in love w me again and im not even sure how i did it the first time! but she did love me right? i mean if she really loved me, she'd remember me eventually. i cant imagine forgetting her so im sure since she loved me that she'll remember as soon as she sees me!" and then he holds onto that thought so tightly that he ends up shocked that she doesnt remember). those thoughts probably kept him afloat too.

i really have mixed feelings about mikan leaving the academy in the first place though. i just dont think that plot point was executed very well so i never really got very into it.

as for fanfic recs, i cant think of many off the top of my head that have much to do with that time period of natsume on his own, but there is this one, (paths that lead home by MCaroba) which is about natsume going on a road trip with his friends!

as for angsty fics that are NOT related to that specific time period, here are some:

Ten Years to Date by November Romeo (the kids are assigned to write about their futures and natsume refuses. canon!verse one shot) (ps lots of her canon fics are in the same universe and theres a deal of angst involved there too, though her canon!verse fics take place in an alternate future of the kids in high school. i do recommend reading pretty much everything she's written for ga)

Tired by FearandLoathingXIX (hurt/comfort related to natsume's sickness. canon!verse one shot)

My Happy Ending by Little Miss Giggle (au where the kids go to a music school.... it starts off silly and fun but it gets pretty damn angsty. multichapter and one of the better known fics in the fandom)

Steal (my breath away) by Rock-n-Round (au one shot where alices exist but they're a bit weird and hard to explain. this one is EVISCERATING. and very beautiful)

Before You Hit the Ground by Ducky-san (au multi-chapter fic where mikan runs away from an abusive home and meets natsume who is in a gang against his will. i actually LOVE this fic so much... but it does contain some triggering material, like discussions of child abuse and implied sexual abuse.)

Right Before Your Eyes by pressuredtreasure (au... i don't think i can say much about this without spoiling it, but it's basically mikan missing natsume)

Oh Hello World also writes a lot of one shots, some of which are pretty angsty.

i'm really sad.... i was gonna link some other fics but i couldn't find them or remember their names and i'm scared they've been taken down. ah the pain of being in an old, less active fandom...

i also write fics too! ive only written aus so far (incidentally, not on purpose), but the angstiest is probably all things rancid and delicate, which is about mikan in a cult (it has a lot of dark elements to it)

im sorry if youre not much an au person, but i havent read much new ga ffn recently and not many good ones have survived the test of time it seems. it's all very sad. i miss reading fanfic all the time AND having lowered standards for gaffn specifically...

i hope i've answered your questions! if you have any other questions feel free to shoot me another ask! i love talking abt ga <3

[honeybee-taskforce]

1x05 Rewatch Thoughts and Feelings

its so damn cold cause of this winter storm so if you see egregious typos just know i tried my best okay my hands are just very cold!

-Every single episode’s first ad on rewatch has been a car ad is the world trying to tell me something here

-how did i forget about the strip club. How. -tk checking out the dancers even though he goes dancing with his future husband later this same episode

-okay but how heavy would a fullly platinum crown be???? Like that sounds horrible and painful to wear evem for am important event like this…

-paul is such a stud i would look at him like that too if it was my first time seeing that stunning face

-oh the episode is called studs im so smart

-tk breathe baby its just a routine appointment

-OWEN WOULDNT HAVE HAD TO DO THIS ALONE IF HE HAD JUST SPOKEN UP ABOUT EVERYTHING!!!

-Wayne being so accepting right away love to see it

-tk laughing at his dad’s possible erection problems lmfaooooooo

-gonna be honest im skipping over this grace storyline cause i hate it so much its not her its not the vibe its a no for me

-paul remembering her name hehehe

-i forgot how awkward paul is with this??? Its so cute omg. -pow pow pow one of my fave season one moments cause its one of many examples of tk being so supportive of his new family

-owen meets zoe this episode???? wtf why did i think that was later like right before/during the finale

-holy shit i forgot they actually use the term incels

-something about michelle and carlos joking around on a scene makes me smile

-probably cause we see he’s always liked to do that with his favorite people and later on we always see him doing that with tk and i just like that through line

-the ambulance sulfate thing jfc can these people catch a break EVER… also i completely forgot about this?? I must have blocked out everything EMS from the first season cause i haven’t remembered any of their solo calls so far

-more workout scenes please and thank you

-good to know the timeline problems have always been around lmfao

-tk always gives good advice if only he could listen to himself for once

-i wish wed seen one or two more dates for paul over the seasons before he met asha, it would have been interesting to see a bit more of his concerns being handled differently once he got more settled into the 126 and texas overall

-SKIP

-judd having an episode and breaking out of it because of “bull stuff” is so good

-he’s so traumatized and just needs love and time and he’s getting it slowly and surely it’s amazing seeing him balled up in the early season when we know how he ends up

-i love judd’s laugh so much

-it sucks that this doesn’t work out and hurts paul. But they are having suuuuuch a good time it’s so cute, even if i know it doesn’t end well. -tk is so cheerful and rooting for the best for sll of his friends it sucks that he struggles so much with his own needs and life at this point. Why do bad things happen to good people dammit!!!

-tk is beating himself up so much for pushing push just to end up getting his heart hurt oh buddy

-i headcanon that the club they go to tonight is the same club the loft is close to

-shakes ass to rhythm of the night as tk gets possessive over carlos immediately

very fun episode, bad grace characterization aside, COMPLETELY forgot this is the first time we see michelle start doubting her position which in retrospect seems very weird because why have that as an early plot if they planned on keeping her around initially? then again tk has almost the same doubts later on so… hm.

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

3, 16 and 20 for loving fandom asks! 😊

3. a character that fandom has helped u appreciate

wen kexing from the novels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also zzs from the novels and zzs from the show and wkx from the show but this isnt!!! about them!!!

16. a tiny detail in canon that u want more people to appreciate

we talked about this before but i really like how rise of phoenixes handles the crossdressing trope. quippe quest mentions this in their videos at some point i think; feng zhiwei is allowed to actually look like a man when she dresses up as a man, and the additional layer her crossdressing shenanigans add to the exploration of her arc that ends in her being completely stripped from all she has at the beginning (agency, autonomy, freedom, value) is all the more gutpunching. i look at her being all unrestrained (as a person) when she dresses up, moving around freely and doing what she wants (as per her nature), and then i look at who she is forced to become once the emperor finds out about it and it gets public. its honestly horrible, like a horror movie (feng zhiwei fmv horror edit?). so the maturity and nuance with which they approach and utilize it is smth i wish would be talked about more, if only because its so dear to me personally and i think everyone should talk about it all the time

,,,, ,,, actually this probably doesnt really count as a tiny detail //w// , ,, i thought of it because theyre so casual with it in canon!!! though feng zhiwei‘s ~real gender~TM is a plot point, the show doesnt really make a fuss around the crossdressing in itself (compared to how other stories usually handle it). so i thought of it as tiny and a detail even though its not really tiny, and its more the attention to detail that i would like for everyone to appreciate forever.

HERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE ANSWER: zhiwei‘s long ass hair that she takes down at the end of the forst day at the academy when sits in the window just before going to bed . everyone is talking about ning yi‘s hair but!!!! what about hers!!!!! its literally right there!!!! its such a beautiful scene, she looks so good. and i think its the only time she ever takes down her hair where we see it right? right? it doesnt happen at all at any other point :) surely :). so beautiful when u can take down your hair of your own volution in a world where taking your hair down signifies vulnerability and can unmask you as a woman! :) :):):) great scene where zhiwei is in full control of her fate and pursues her happiness and taking her hair down in the privacy of her room, with only gu nanyi to see, is such a big show of trust (in him) and faith (in her future) :) im fine why do u ask

20. your very first fandom

oh this is a mean pick!!!!!! me having like a hole in my head etc!!!!! but one of my earliest beloveds media that i could count as me entering a fandom of any kind is the donald duck franchise. dont really have a better name for it. i could call it the Mickey Mouse Franchise but that would be A Lie. mickey mouse has nothing to do with it at all! i had fan magazines and would dress up as phantomias and would spent time reading comics with my friends and brother and i would annoy literal strangers into lending me their comics if i so much as sniffed out that they had a collection at home. i also drew and wrote fanart and fanfic, though i never finished anything, my aspirations were too high for my fragile constitution also known as patience and stamina TvT. smth thats STILL a problem tbh. i cant write short stuff yet keeping it up for so long is Hard. anywhomst. i remember looking at the pictures before i learned to read and making up the story in my head so this being my first fandom might not be that far off!!!!!!

beloveds fandom asks game

[cyeayt]

If you’re reading a post describing a problem (this post focuses on fandom but I think some of it should be applicable irl) and you relate to the behavior or belief being criticized, that does not make you a bad person or inherently wrong. However, your response is important.

You probably need to process it, see how and why it applies to you, and if necessary, take steps to change it.

Examine the thesis of the post. What is the thing op is actually talking about? Does it really apply to you? Do you understand why op is calling the thing harmful? Do you agree? (For me these have mostly been yes, but who knows maybe you’ve found someone you want to block. Note: if you do end up deciding that the post is wrong, make sure it’s for reasons other than your discomfort. Curate your spaces but learn to take criticism.)

Dig into your mind. How does this apply to you? How often and in what circumstances do you do the thing? Why? Is your doing of the thing actively harmful? (Probably not on a huge scale, we’re all just people with phones, but you are part of collective movements opinions and actions.)

This is the most uncomfortable part. If you find yourself to be a perpetrator of something you’ve deemed harmful, don’t freak out. You are human, you are imperfect, and you can change and grow.

After identifying why and where the behavior happens, think about what you can do to break or reduce it. This might be hard. It’s okay and probably good if you have to put direct effort into it. Your brain is a ball of squirming meaty worms, and being aware that they’re squirming in a shape you don’t like won’t stop them from squirming there. Habit forming advice might be helpful here.

For example, this post is mostly talking about the tendency in fandom to focus on male characters. I’m guilty of this, and I’m working on it. Some things I’ve done/doing are: identifying women characters I already like and putting time into talking/drawing/writing/posting about them. Making effort to notice women characters in media im consuming. Figuring out why I don’t like certain women characters and deconstructing the stereotypes and mischaracterizations I often find there. Making women ocs with traits I tend to like in male characters.

These are just things that have worked for me in that area, but the energy and point can be translated into other problems as well. This is the longest step. It’s not even really a step, more of a habit to be formed. There isn’t a point where you’ll complete something and be able to go: wow, I’ve got it!

You’re also not alone. Depending on the subject, there might be books, posts, podcasts, zines, etc to help you. You can make posts yourself about it, talk to your mutuals and friends. Discuss it with people irl, if you can.

(Note, this is where it slips into minority “it’s not our job to educate you” territory. I agree with this sentiment. But oftentimes if you do a little digging, you will find someone who wants to and is making an effort to. I see this mostly in the context of white supremacy, the unlearning of which is a difficult and uncomfortable journey. Basically, don’t expect people to cater to you, but also chances are someone’s already written a book about it.)

I don’t have a conclusion to this post. It’s kinda rambly and the organization was dropped in favor of smaller more readable paragraphs.

Disclaimer! I am just some guy(?)! I don’t have that much experience! If this comes off as pretentious I’m sorry I’m just trying to be nice and understanding. I have and will engage in problematic behaviors in the past future, and right now probably, because its impossible not to. Chasing standards of moral perfection will always fail because it doesn’t exist and people are beautiful horrible messes and we all live under capitalism anyway. This doesn’t mean you can’t try to be better, but if you try to be perfect you’re going to have a nervous breakdown. Improvement is constant and eternal work!

I am personally also just naturally very self aware and good at identifying what’s going on in my brain. If you asked me how to deconstruct an assumption I wouldn’t be able to tell you. I would probably do an allegory with a big nasty knotted ball of string that hangs in your attic, and you just start poking the handle of a broom up into it at a frequency that is up to you. Once or twice a week I take a second to run through my misogynistic hall of mirrors and widen the cracks in a few of them and stick post it notes of women I love all over the place.

Also have fun and do whatever you want.

Did you know there’s a limit to the number of tags you can put on a post? I didn’t!

https://mashable.com/article/how-to-be-antiracist <- fun read, very important and topical, but also exploring ideas that can be extrapolated to other areas and biases