#and im maybe still dealing w the fall out from that

[queerspacepunk]

idk if i burnt myself out writing last year or its the extended menty b or involuntary disconnection from fandom due to The Feelings I'm Having about not being to keep up w fandom (i want to! i miss it) but writing has been VERY hard for most of this year.

i am however finally plugging away again at the time loop fic and may have it done in the near future?

[sydmarch]

it was so stupidly difficult to find any nutritionist who has experience with arfid & takes insurance so after having to go through all these referrals my therapist sent me & jumping through hoops I lowkey hate the lady lmao feels like such a waste of time & energy

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

[evansonlylove]

he hurt me but it felt like true love

-Kai anderson x fem reader

CW: abusive relationship, sex w/o protection, slapping, spitting, manhandling, angry kai, knife play, threatening. slut shamming. mentions of death.

summary: while kai was out running meetings for his cult, teaching and mentoring his followers he hears men of the group talking about you. About your beauty, how bad they wanted you and how much of a slut they thought you were. Rather than kai getting angry at them, he directs that anger towards you.

You loved kai more than anything. Your friends and family said it was manipulation, abuse and such, but to you he was God. Understanding that him being busy all the time helping his people wasn’t something hard for you to understand, you actually looked up to him for it.

He had promised you he’d be home intime for dinner. Dressing up nice with a pretty dress you knew he liked, putting your hair down and making his favorite food was your way to repay him for everything. Yet where was he? You couldn’t text or call him in fear of him getting upset, all you could do was wait. But even the most faithful followers get tired.

Keeping on the dress in hope that he may come back soon and wake you up to have dinner you laid in bed, thinking about him was all you could ever do. Were you dumb in love with a psychotic cult leader? Yes, you couldn’t complain since you knew what you signed up for with him but a fire lit inside you this night. Anger, you wanted to be #1 in his mind but you never were, and you were done taking it.

Somewhere in the time you fell asleep and wake up to something sharp on your neck and a familiar scent. opening your eyes and seeing kai standing at the edge of the bed right infront of you, his long blue hair falling infront of his face along with rage.

“kai? whats h-“ His hand reaches to your cheeks with a squeeze and leaning your head up to look at him while a knife pressing at your neck.

“Tell me, do you think i’m stupid y/n?” He squatted down face to face with you as he asked, never taking his eyes off of you. “Do you think you get to be some slut while with me?”

You look at him with confusion “what are you talking about kai?” you muttered out, still not being able to comprehend the situation as he woke you. You try to sit up but quickly get pushed back down and the knife being held harder against you skin

“Stay the fuck down and speak up. tell me. do you think i don’t know what you do?” And just like that, the rage from earlier comes rushing back to you in waves.

“kai i have no fucking idea what you’re talking about. you leave me hanging with dinner and come home accusing me of thing? are you serious? put the goddamn knife down.” He had never seen you like this, speaking up and being upset with him. The last thing you expected him to do was laugh, and yet that’s what he did. Laughed right in your face with a knife digging into you.

“Im not putting anything down. you know what i heard though? i heard how much you love flaunting yourself around MY members. do you know what they think of you y/n?” He laughs again almost phycotictly “They think you’re a stupid slut that’s free for grabs all because little miss y/n loves being so fucking sweet and talkative. Here’s a thought baby, why don’t you shut the fuck up and stay away from them? maybe so you won’t embarrass me like this?”

“i didnt do anything kai, i wasn’t even at the meetings today. Yes i try to help and talk to them but that’s just because i want to be a part of what you do, why can’t you see that?”

“You wanna know what i see? i see a desperate bitch begging for attention, if not from me than it’s from them. you think i have time to deal with that after all i do for you and these people? you think i don’t love you or something so you feel like you have to do all that?” He turns his head as he asks the last question, almost mocking you. You see his hand go down to his pants as he starts unzipping them slowly.

“yes. i just want your attention and love kai, can you understand that please?” Your body weakens as you say these words, suddenly you feel better by just telling him this and not keeping it in.

“You want me attention huh? and my love. Here i’ll give you allll my attention you pathetic little whore. I see how hard you try, let me reward you with my attention hm?” He gets up leaving his crotch at your heads height now. Even though you heard his sarcasm this was all you wanted, his attention in any way, shape or form. “Open that pretty little mouth for your leader, you wanted attention right? i’ll give it to you” You looked up at his though your eyelashes with doe eyes and opened your mouth just as he had asked you to do. His pants slid down with ease as he palmed himself through his underwear, he loved making you wait for it after all. All you could do was wait and wait and wait, your mouth watered at the sight of him finally taking his cock out as he stepped closer to you he slapped his tip on your lips. He spit down on his cock and into your mouth before he slipped his hard cock into it, a loud grown coming from him almost immediately.

“Is this was you wanted? here’s the fucking attention for you” He went on to fuck your mouth, one hand behind your head leading you deeper on his cock while the other pressed a cold knife against the side of your neck. “I should fucking kill you for what those guys said. But then i’d be wasting such a perfect mouth, so good at sucking me off. So..fucking.. pretty” One more thrust and he stayed deep in your throat making you gag, he stayed just like that for almost a minute. Your eyes watered with mascara running down your face and saliva down your chin before he let go as he looked down at you.

You subconsciously pressed your thighs together to please yourself in anyway and he saw it. “Oh you love this don’t you little lamb, you love being used by your God. use your words” His hand slid up your thighs before you could reply his hand was already up your dress as he was met with a surprise.

“What a fucking slut, no panties? i should’ve known this is what you wanted all along” He ran a finger through your folds and stopped right at your clit. “But, i won’t do anything until you admit what a slut you are, admit this is what you wanted”

“yes divine ruler this is what i wanted, i’m such a slut for you but only for you i swear. i’ll do better.” As promised for your honestly he began running circles on your clit. A desperate moan came from your lips, any touch from him made your body react in ways you didn’t know where possible.

“Good girl” You felt the cold knife make its way to your lips as he slid a finger into your wet pussy, you let your tongue out for him to place the knife as he finger fucked you. “what a good fucking girl you are while doing what you’re told. Do you want even more attention?” A almost embarrassing whimper came out of your mouth as he spoke.

“mhm, please” And just like that he got in his knees on the bed, placing your legs above his shoulders and his cock lying on your stomach. He leaned over you putting one hand on one side of you and the other on his cock lining up with your entrance. Relentlessly he thrusted into you making you both moan as you looked into eachothers eyes, he quickly reached for the knife again and placed at at your neck before he continued his rough thrusts.

“You’re still at my mercy, your pleasure, your orgasm… your life is all at my mercy. show me you’re worth my attention” Those words alone made you squeeze around his cock, all you want to do is please him and show him you’re worth his everything. You reached your hand behind his head and leaned him in closer as you both went in for the most passionate kiss you’ve ever shared, you were addicted to his taste. Kai fucking anderson was a drug you’d never get enough of. Your legs latched around his waist making his thrusts deeper, your moans going into the kiss before he left your lips and went on to your ear, his grunts sound like heaven in your ear. “You feel so fucking good” He whispered into your ear causing shivers to go down your spine.

“i’m all yours kai, i want you to use my body forever give me your attention whenever you please” You whispered in return. You put your hand around his holding the knife and looked into his eyes. “if i’m not enough for you i’ll kill me myself” Your legs start shaking as you got closer to your orgasm.

“That won’t be necessary my pretty slut” He leaned back up and let the knife go, both his hands went to your waist as he fucked you deeper and harder than before, using your waist to push you down to meet his thrusts. You wer sure the grip he had on you would leave bruises but you didn’t care, all you could think about was him.

“I’m gonna cum kai please, let me cum all over your cock my divine ruler” You begged as you felt him throb inside you, his thrusts getting sloppy and his face scrunching with his moans. You knew he was close and all you wanted was to be filled up by him. “fill me with your seed, please it’s all i live for, it’s all id die for kai”

“Cum for me baby, i’ll bless this fucking pussy with my cum for you” He let out his final thrusts as you came all of him, squeezing around him throwing him over the edge as he filled you up you wrapped you legs tighter around him. You threw you head back with the overwhelming pleasure he caused you, his hand quickly teacher below your neck making you look at his cock finishing inside you. He pulled out and grabbed the knife running it down your pussy, picking up his cum dripping out of you. “Open up that pretty mouth for me” Taking your tongue out again he slid the knife along it, leaving his cum on your tongue for you to swallow.

“am i worthy of you divine ruler?” Your words come out like music to his ears, he leaned down and kissed your lips before he slapped you across your cheek.

“My pathetic little slut. you’re worthy.”

He hurt you and it felt like true love.

I hope this was good, i wrote it pretty quickly once i got the idea. I appreciate all likes, comments and reposts they make my day and show your support! requests are open♥️ -rain

[lewisvinga]

me n my dumbasses | charles leclerc x fem! driver! reader x pierre gasly

summary; just f1’s fave ‘childhood besties to lovers’ throuple being iconic

fc; various girls on pinterest

warnings; cursing i think

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minseok-smaus @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote @xoscar03

note; requested !

masterlist !

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liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, and others !

yourusername: average day w the most stupid people in all of france ( and monaco ) (( i unfortunately have dealt with them my whole life and i also unfortunately love them ))

tagged; pierregasly, charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc: but pierre was first in ur last photo dump ☹️

pierregasly: mate you almost killed us …😀

charles_leclerc: NOT MY FAULT YOU’RE BOTH GOOD LOOKING?? also did you just mate zone me?

yourusername: think abt ur actions of almost killing ur bf and gf , charles leclerc.

charles_leclerc: yes ma’am🫡

username: CHAPIEY/N DUMPPP

username: leave it up to y/n to post the most bf pics of them 😫

username: i’d kill to have dealt w them my whole life miss y/n UR LUCKYY😖

username: charles is so real for almost crashing his ferrari bc y/n and pierre looked toooo good 😭

yourusername: yeah well now he’s in the timeout corner ://

charles_leclerc: this is NOT fun

pierregasly: #deserved

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yourusername uploaded to their story !

[caption 1; #inspectingpierresform🤓] [caption 2; complaining that i’m taking pics instead of working out 🙄🙄 #tattletale] [caption 3; wauw hot boys]

landonorris gross

landonorris dumbasses

yourusername hey 😾

yourusername they’re MY dumbasses 😪

pierregasly “pleaseee can i work out with you guys 🥺🥺”

yourusername i didn’t want to break a nail🙁🙁

pierregasly you’re so high maintenance

yourusername u have known me since 2011 WHY are u shocked

yourusername u both made me like this btw

pierregasly and we don’t regret it a bit, cherie 😁

charles_leclerc i see u liked our selfie from when u went to the bathroom to put makeup on before filming tiktoks😁

yourusername wanted to look cute for the camera and for my dumbasses can u blame a girl😖

charles_leclerc DUMBASSES?? i’m smart , pierre maybe but not me !

yourusername oh babe

yourusername u both are ! but it’s ok i love u both💓

charles_leclerc yeah yeah we love u too

username LMAOOOO THEYRE SO😭

username pierre’s ‘mom i threw up’ stance 💀

username never stop these queen

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liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, and others !

yourusername: just me n my dumbasses against the world ❤️‍🩹

tagged; charles_leclerc, pierregasly

charles_leclerc: love u too dumbass xx

yourusername: u see i get why I called u a dumbass but why are u calling me a dumbass? do u hate me??☹️☹️

charles_leclerc: cherie no wait pls

pierregasly: im surprised you still fall for her lame sarcasm even if we’ve been dealing w her since 2011🙄

yourusername: hey RUDE ur the ones who wanted ME first 😾😾

yourusername: sorry for worrying u pooks love u xx charles_leclerc

pierregasly: love u dumbass 😪😪

yourusername: ur more of a dumbass than me

carlossainz55: can we confirm that charles is the biggest one out of you three ??

pierregasly: oh 100%😂

charles_leclerc: THATS NOT EVEN FAIR??😀

georgerussell63: idk man, i’ve received 394829 messages from y/n about being scared you’re going to burn the house down from making toast…😬😬

username: i love how they never had a honey moon phase it’s just straight bullying w a side of love 😭😭😭

username: childhood besties to lover core fr

username: THEHRE NEVER SERIOUS IM IN TEARSSSSSS

username: the pure unseriousness from chapiey/n is why i adore them sm😭😂

username: reason 92893 i adore them;

username: when the trio suddenly becomes romantic

username: u guys ever think y/n’s like ‘kissing my homies’ 🤔🤔

charles_leclerc: yes actually …..

yourusername: me n my homies doing romantic stuffs 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

username: just clocked in y/n dealt w their awkward phases

yourusername: ‘twas hell

pierregasly: like teenage u was any better 🙄

username: ‘my dumbasses’ i love them😖

[gatorbites-imagines]

Listen. Listen. Hear me out.

I beg you, almighty gator—Gambit(Remy LeBeau) x M/FTM reader(ur choice i like both :)) where reader is a mutant that has some kind of power that has to do with sea monsters, and loves tarot cards so Remy does card tricks for him while reader is in a pool.

When I was a kid I called Gambit “Magic Man” and I had to hold myself back from screaming that in the theater when I was watching D&W a few days ago and revived my non-understandable fanboying of him. (Sorry for the rant)

You can change the fic anyway you want, I’ve got no problem as long as Remy is as silly as he normally is(can evolve into smut or whatever cause I’m freaky like that 😏)

Gracias Gator!!

Remy Lebeau x mutant male reader

Headcanons

I love Remy SO much its insane. I can’t write accents, so it’s there in spirit. Haven’t read the comics, so im basing this off of is wiki. no smut but i had fun writing this.

i loved seeing Remy in the movie, i just wish theyd given him his eyes, you know?

How you two met can be a mixed bag. Maybe you met in the x-men, maybe you met in the thieves guild before every crossing paths with the x-men as a whole, or maybe somewhere completely third. I enjoy the idea of the thieves guild though, so ill go with that.

You both had different reasons for joining or doing what you do, but being two mutants amongst a lot of other non-mutants meant you felt some kind of kinship with each other, even if you didn’t really get along in the beginning.

Especially with you two being visibly mutants. With Remy’s eyes and you having scales on different areas of your body, gills on your sides, what others would refer to as “monster eyes”, so on and so forth.

This resulted in you two preferring to work together when you got the chance, you trained together, ate together, slept together (not like that), so on and so forth. It also meant you two got a very deep understanding of each other over time.

It also meant that Remy got to see just how stupidly powerful you were. In the beginning you just thought your powers involved controlling water and being able to breath underwater. Who’d have thought you could do crazy stuff like controlling typhoons, rain, lightning, so on and so forth, like some kind of biblical being.

This was how you gained the name leviathan. You didn’t really like the name in the beginning, since you hadn’t really picked it yourself and it felt almost insulting with your appearance. But Remy was so supportive you ended up coming to like it, even though it took a long time.

In the end you two split apart as you leave the guild, going your separate ways but still keeping in contact in small but safe ways. With a power like yours it was hard to stay under the radar, and many wanted you on their side, even if it meant by force.

Time passes, Remy joins the x-men, you travel on your own and discover yourself and the world. Remy gets kicked out of the x-men when they learn of his past, you two meet up again and travel together for a while.

Its during this gap in Remy’s place with the x-men that your relationship became something more. He tells you about Rogue, and how he at first thought he loved her, only to realize what he felt for her wasn’t near as strong as what he felt for you.

And of course, during this confession, Remy tries to lay on the charm and act like it isn’t a big deal, but you can easily see through him and notice how anxious he is about it. in the end you just have to grab him and kiss him to shut him up, which yes, does shut him up, but also leads to you guys falling back into the water you’d been sitting by when he lunges at you to kiss you again.

Hes a charming guy yes, Remy has such a way with his words, how he carries himself or how he touches you. But underneath all that he also cares so deeply, to the point of being willing to die for you or those he cares about, which makes you lose scales from stress at times.

So, if you place protection spells on him that you got from the deepest part of the sea by the people who have started to worship you like a god, then only you have to know. That Namor guy is pretty swell, when he isn’t being a bit arrogant. He even taught you how to use a spear, so you guys are kinda brothers in spirit now.

At some point Remy does return to the x-men, somewhere you don’t feel ready to join him yet. So, a lot of kisses are shared, and a few tears a shed. And yes, of course you give him jewelry made from your scales. And a dagger made out of your larger teeth when you transform into a more serpentine form, because yes, you can also do that.

Remy doesn’t feel much need to tell the x-men about his relationship. Sure, he keeps flirting but that’s just because that’s how he is. But it never goes further than that. Some of the members that can read minds know about it though, since he thinks about you regularly.

In the end the relationship is exposed when the x-men find themselves in quite the pickle near the ocean. And Remy, knowing he can get them the upper hand, is able to snap one of the sigils you placed on him.

Rip to whoever they were fighting, since the sea lashes out and swallows them whole, followers by a giant feral looking sea serpent, you, rise from the water. Yes, you teleported there. What else were you supposed to do? You thought your boy was in danger!

Cue the x-men just being stunned or confused when Remy calls out the cheesiest pet names, almost kicking his feet in happiness at seeing you. It makes a bit more sense when you transform into a more human form, it still takes some explaining though.

In the end you don’t end up fully joining the x-men. You doing that would place them under a lot more danger than usual, since you had your own enemies and alliances, and you’re pretty sure Namor would get butthurt if you did. But you become something of an ally. Which means you hang out on Krakoa on the regular.

It becomes a very regular sight to see a giant serpent lazily swimming around the island, or resting half on the beach as Remy sits and shows you his different tarot readings. Of course, you also spend time together with you in a more human form, but seeing such a big sea monster also makes any baddies keep a distance.

There are also of course pools set up on the island, not just for you, but they’re accessible for you as well. Remy is regularly seen in the pool with you, or just sitting with his feet in as you two talk or whatever else you guys do.

You end up becoming something of a swim instructor to the youngest mutants, or just those that can’t swim in general. This is something Remy finds extremely entertaining and he’s always teasing you about it. luckily its easy to shut him up with a kiss, or by knocking him into the pool. Or both. He doesn’t mind.

[miupow]

I beg u for some crave hyuka thoughts pls 😥😥😥

im gonna end up making one of these 4 every member aren't i... first this ask and then one for soobin… i can see where this is going (i love it)

CRAVEVERSE ; werewolf!hueningkai headcanons .ᐟ ♡

cw ⸝⸝ sfw + nsfw hcs .ᐟ werewolf!hk (and werewolf!rest of txt) , fem!reader , no dark content warning for these hcs but general dark content warning for crave as an au. unprotected sex, gangbang mention, knotting, size kink, creampies, group sex, anal mention, possessive and protective behavior, pervy kai hehe

SFW ;

-> crave!kai who is the sweetest of them all!! has been so sweet and kind since he first met you, a genuine friend to turn to when the others are being so obtuse and mean :(

-> crave!kai who has the least control over his wolfish instincts though, both from being the youngest and from being only a half blooded wolf. he can get so aggressive if you piss him off, to the point he’s genuinely dangerous to be around.. he can’t help it though, and he always feels like garbage afterwards once he’s calmed down :( he can just crack. despite being such a sweetheart, you can’t help but still be a little afraid of him…

-> crave!kai who is always looking out for you! you can always count on him to tell you the truth, defend you, stick by your side… unlike his brothers, he loves humans, and by extension he loves you! such a cute silly human girl <3 so small and soft and cuddly

-> crave!kai who loves cuddles, loves scenting you, makes him purr like a kitty when you pet his head and let him muzzle into you!! is very physically affectionate and always giving you tight bear hugs <3

-> crave!kai who sees you as a person and not as an object. who loves listening to your stories about your life before them, who loves talking with you, spending time with you, getting to know you. who he falls in love with because of who she is as a person, not because of some divine instincts.

-> crave!kai who is babied by his older brothers, and he hates it so much though he never puts it into words.. he’s tired of being treated like he’s a stupid pup, he’s a man!! and you make him feel so manly when he provides and takes care of you…

-> crave!kai whos personality takes a complete 180 if he’s ever set off, possessive or jealous or territorial. a violent angry beast you don’t even recognize…

-> crave!kai whos overall ur biggest simp and ur biggest fan !! probably the most down bad just behind yeonjun lol (i imagine reader as older than tyunning in crave so take that as you will… tyunning x their noona kink will always be famous)

NSFW ; (under the cut!)

-> crave!kai who is still a juvenile in werewolf terms even if he is an adult by human standards. he’s not fully matured into his instincts or his powers, and therefore they control him more than he controls them . he hasn’t even had his first run yet by the time you come into his life, but maybe the pretty human girl always around him sets off his first rut cycle …

-> crave!kai who doesn’t know how to deal with any of his wolfish feelings! can’t help but be so embarrassed about how obsessive he’s become about marking, mating, and breeding, protecting his territory, providing for what’s his. he used to never feel like that before!!

-> crave!kai who needs to be held back from ruining you completely during his rut <3 first time he ever goes into rut he loses himself and hurts you!! and baby just feels so bad about it!! needs a hyung to show him how to control himself while breeding you good <3

-> crave!kai who has a big fat dick he doesn’t know how to use !! so big it scares you a little w a knot that’s even fatter , cums so much it gets everywhere, spills out from where he’s plugged you up and drools down your thighs in a nasty creamy mess

-> crave!kai with the biggest size kink in the world, who gets hard as a rock from seeing just how tiny you r next to him and his big broad frame.. he feels so protective over u :( even when he’s splitting you open while you cry that his cock won’t fit and he’s shushing you that it will, trust him, just relax! still so protective…

-> crave!kai who while being protective doesn’t mind sharing you with the others, likes watching you get gangbanged ruined from every hole n turned into a breeding cumdump <3

-> crave!kai who loves anal, who gets teased for it because it goes against his instincts but he just loves it so much omg

[yuikira]

𓈒࣪ The "you" shaped spot ₊✧

warnings: pure fluff, one implication of having sex, bits of crying, hurt/comfort, ooc kinich, very self indulgent, i apologize for mistakes.

GOD THE ANGUISH I FEEL SINCE THERE HAVE BEEN NO GOOD KINICH FICS RECENTLY

m so sorry mualani i love you but i hate you coz you're so shipped w kinich it makes me cry in anguish burn in despair and writhe in pain..coz hes mine. not yours. never yours (guys am i mentally ill)

"y/n?"

well, this was strange. if he still remembers how to read the time correctly, it's 3:30 pm and you should be at home today. yet he couldn't hear a single sound from the shared household, implying you were, infact, not at home. huh? that was wholly strange. you both had no urgent tasks for today, so where were you gone? your date was in 1½ hrs time, so he didn't have a tinge of worry about it. he knew you'd return by that time, even if you were gone somewhere. but where did you go anyway? to the balcony? xilonen's workshop? ororon's fields? mavuika's chambers? ifa's vet?

it was almost 5:30 by the time his patience finally ran out. you were nowhere to be seen, noone knew your whereabouts, your departure time was unconfirmed, and you didn't even tell him about it. he tried to distract away the thoughts that eerily haunted his mind, 'what if she's in danger? kidnapped? or perhaps, dead?'

he'd get nothing out of overthinking. finally, it all clicked to him where you could perhaps be found.

shit, and was his intuition right. he could hear the sounds of violent sobs drifting off in the sea breeze, some sniffles and pieces of incoherent speech here and there. they were yours.

"y/n? y/n!"

he gently held your shoulders and tried to pry off your palms from your face. is it too late? at last as he finally managed to do so, he saw your tinged red eyes, indicating you've been crying for a lot of time.

"what happened to you? babe? are you okay? please tell me- what happened to you? please, please please-"

"im fine, ichi, its alright"

"you dont look alright at all. what happened to you? who did this to you? this sadness?"

"oh it's just..um..this is embarassing.."

"no tell me, please baby, tell me. if you don't tell me and start crying again, i might just start crying too. please tell me"

"um.. it's...basically, these past few days I've felt like... you're.. avoiding me. like...everytime i try to approach you, you just- you just..shut me down. push me away. it maybe because I'm not living upto your expectations, but these past few days I've been feeling like you spend time with mualani more than me. it hurts so bad when my inner thoughts whisper to me, haunting me by saying stuff like you're giving the same lovesick smile to her as you do to me, and falling for her and- mfhm?!"

oh by gods, the way kinich just tenderly held you yet kissed constrastingly different, almost making you feel dizzy and lightheaded. you knew you weren't in the right state of mind after crying and struggling with your thoughts for so long, and his intoxicating kiss didn't help the matter at all.

at last when he finally pulls his lips away from yours, a tinge of bemused smile rests on his slightly chapped lips. him? in love with mualani? he'd rather give away his body to ajaw and keep himself locked in a small piece of memory inside your heart, so that as long as your heart beats, you both never get seperated. that was the best deal for him.

"look, im sorry I didn't tell you earlier and I'm sorry if I don't live upto your expectations and or are falling for mualani, its completely alright and-"

"Are you insane?"

"huh?"

"You are the words etched into my heart. You are the blood in my veins. You are the god I was born to worship. Who am I to commit such blasphemy?"

"i-ichi-?"

"You are the knowledge I seek. The love I pray for. The reason of my existence. And you still think I'd leave you?"

"wait no ichi i-"

"The symphony of my beating heart belongs to you. Only you. For long as I'm alive, its bound to beat for you. I love you, y/n. I love you so much."

Teardrops began to fall from your eyes again as he finished speaking. He'd never, ever been good with words, reflecting his love and care with his actions instead. Although he's trying to be more and more vocal for you, you'd never expected this from him.

That was the moment you realized, his heart was 'you' shaped, with every single bit of his sanity dedicated to you.

"And no, I.. I'm so sorry if i made you feel as if I'm avoiding you. I'm infact not. It's just the fact that.. I'd been trying to plan a surprise for you for our 4th anniversary, but..looks like I wasn't so slick with it. I'm sorry"

"No, no, it's fine, it's fine. I misunderstood, no need to apologise" you shook your head while holding one of his hands, the other wiping your tears off as he gently places a soft kiss on your forehead.

"It's partially my fault, for making you feel this way. Let's go home, yeah? I'll try to make it up to you. Brownies and making love later?"

You smiled. "I love you so much, it's hard to put into words like you did"

"I love you more. You're forever my girl"

[penny-anna]

OK in advance of tonight's other episode, couple of thoughts on the Percy Jackson tv show's adaptational choices:

i haven't actually seen anyone flag this one up yet (it's a fairly subtle change and i know a lot of ppl haven't read the first book in like 15 years so maybe everyone just forgot?) but in the book the reveal that Percy's mother is still alive drops a lot later in the narrative. book!Percy heads out on his quest fully intending to bring her back from the dead. which imo is a stronger narrative beat & it makes the reveal that she's still alive and he was right to think he could rescue her that much more satisfying.

on reflection agree w the comments i've seen re the other kids should have knelt to Percy after he was claimed. actually saw complaints about this before reading the book so was surprised at how fleeting a moment it was but it really does serve to accentuate both what a big deal a Forbidden Child is and that Percy is an outsider even at Camp Halfblood

as per previous post yes it is explicitly stated in the book that Chiron suspect Percy was the son of Poseidon and i think omitting that was a mistake given the number of ppl i've seen picking up on it

in 2 minds about the omission of the hellhound bcos it is a pretty important plot beat and a cool scene but i can see why they wouldn't want to do a CGI monster fight that was technically extraneous

ALSO Annabeth having mistakenly concluded that Percy was a child of Zeus was a good character beat in terms of her being smart enough to figure out he was a forbidden child but not infallible. and maybe also biased due to her previous relationship w Thalia.

that said i enjoyed her shoving Percy in a lake too much to really complain.

changes i think are for the better:

i think having sending Medusa's head to Olympus have actual Consequences was a good move 👍 unless im missing something due to not having read the rest of the series. i was surprised reading the book that in spite of Percy getting warned not to do it there wasn't any fall out.

i don't think the scene w Percy petrifying one of the furies was in the book either? cool moment!

PLUS having Athena be petty enough to pull that shit was like. very on point for a Greek god flkghfdkj

really enjoyed Echidna getting introduced earlier. amped up the tension in a big way AND kept me on my toes, i was there like ohh is this a different monster? are they moving her fight scene to the train? what's going to happen here - OH NO

Echidna bringing up that the gods and the 'monsters' are all a single family was also 👌great scene all round

likewise Percy & Annabeth BOTH trying to sacrifice themselves for the group loved that. don't think this was necessarily an improvement as the book scene was good in a different way but really good moment

*slow hand clap* consensus!!

[minnie-cai]

i saw your art x physical therapist and tashi x makeup artist post and i know you’ll understand what im about to say: being a trainer/ makeup artist/ something along those lines and hooking up w two of your clients. is it a little unethical?? maybe, but you’re a grown up, and you can do what you want! and you really like both of them and they bring very different things to the table. but at the donaldson x duncan home, both art and tashi are having affairs and trying to keep it a secret from the other person and failing pretty hard. little do they know, they’re hooking up w the same person: you. and maybe, just maybe, they’re falling for you a bit. thoughts? feelings?

holy fucking shit i was smiling and nodding while reading this. yeah. yeah, you GET IT💜 i’m so writing something full-length about this about this but until then, have some thoughts.

not proofread, just shitposting. also, not a hairdresser. i can’t even braid hair. if you are one and throughout my thoughts on this scenario i fuck up, please correct me.

I think with Tashi it would be pretty quick with the physical aspect and emotional connection would come into play later.

She starts connecting to you when she realizes you’ve done something small for her that she doesn’t pay you for. Don’t get her wrong, she knows Art loves her and he’d bend over backwards for her approval and validation but he is too caught up in how miserable their routine is to keep noticing details about her. Art is her husband who had been pining over her for years but you know her coffee order and it’s on your table by your next appointment, casually waiting for her to take it, not making a big deal out of it. She tilts her head a bit and furrows her eyebrows, thinking of whether or not she’d asked her assistant for coffee but soon enough you emerge from your break with a small smile, untangling the cable of your flat iron.

“Morning, Mrs Duncan!” You beam and she gives you a small nod, clearly caught up in sizing the plastic cup because she feels like she’s gone insane. “I hope it’s not wrong.” You chime in on her thoughts, as if reading her mind. “You ordered this?” She asks pointing to the drink and raises her eyebrows when you nod, an almost repressed but impressed expression on her face. “Well, thanks.” She mumbles taking a sip and her spot on the chair, sitting in the same place she did every time.

She wouldn’t admit it but she feels a bit bad when people take her stand-offish attitude personally. She doesn’t like it when they change their personality to be quieter or less sociable around her just because she wasn’t very talkative or was particularly professional, she felt like they had no backbone, that they were fragile to be affected by whether she approves of their behaviour or not. She enjoys the fact that you don’t. You’re still sweet as sugar and by that point you’ve just figured her out. In contrast to Art, she likes to spend her appointments quiet as you pamper her and hum. It gives her time to think peacefully, even with your humming.

On the other hand, Art sees you as a break from life.

When he comes in and he sits in that chair in front of you and starts talking about something random like the music you have on, his brain is empty. It’s like for the first time in so long he doesn’t have to think about anything else. The next time he’s doing his warm up before training, he’s listening to the songs you recommended to him instead of the brown noise his trainer has said he should listen to in order to focus and it feels good to add a little something of you in his day, it feels like color in his sad, beige gym and boring green juice.

[speakofthedebbie]

you (read: i) asked so you shall recieve: radioapple fic recs august 2024 update!!

the following are the ones from the last post w/some minor changes (think: misspellings and even more osas praising) (sorry for the re-tags!!):

Bedtime Rituals to Try out Before the Next Angelic War by @miribalis

just yes. thousand times yes. so basically my boy luci has some sleep troubles and that somehow leads to a qpr with al look its been a while ok just read it

Managerial Liberties by the same fella

these two tags explain it pretty well

something that sticks out to me about this is that charlie is actually (reasonably) cold to adam and like. im actually surprised with how little ive seen that. i mean i dont think id be exactly buddy-buddy with my besties killer either. only 4 chaps as of writing but already looking to be a radioapple classic. has the same vibe as bedtime rituals, but it is NOT a sequel

devils don't fly (don't expect me not to fall) by @corgiss

also just yes. basically a really not cool joke evolves into a blossoming romance because why wouldnt it. (man if i had a nickel for every radioapple fic that had a masquerade that was sabotaged by the vees- *gets shot bc i cant mention osas yet*)

i’ll hold you close (i’ll stay the course) by the same fella

the entire time i was just going "yas king! put that egotistical flatscreen in his place!!". basically luci reminds the overlords who he is and vox shows he can be more of a threat than he lets on.

ykw fuck it just the entire series (i didnt mention i would give anything to not give a shit (but i do) and my perfect rock bottom (my beautiful trauma) because the first one sounded a lil too angsty and ive gotten enough of that from other sources [pointedly glares at Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love {also coming up later!}] and the second is (mostly) smut

Of Saints and Sinners by the forever amazing @morningstarwrites!! (if you see this i have a serious question: is this your first time ever writing a fic? because how do you get so much right the first time- [not even beginners luck could explain this level of skill])

if youre even half the radioapple fanatic i am and havent read this, literally what are you doing?? i could sing its praises until my death bed but ill hold off so i can explain whats happening. basically after burning down a meeting room several times, luci and al make a deal ("not a deal!", luci laments to the void): they will attempt to be civil and maybe even friendly, with some daily compliments sprinkled along the way, and by the end luci will owe al a favour. whats the favour? read it yourself dammit! seriously, 10/10, i foam at the mouth every friday

Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love by Starlit_Rainfall (no tumblr in sight, so AO3) (i. urgfgh. what happened. i was just smiling over the fluff while crossing to go to school. where did it go. where did it gooooo)

if thats anything to go by, the last few chapters have been rough. the fluff feels so far away that i cant even explain what happens. luci was waxing poetic about swimming in maple syrup for al, i remember that much. lilith is particularly an asshole even tho we havent seen her yet (or maybe we have. idr, mightve chatted with al) also emily is there (fallen) and has a lil smth to do with als and liliths deal. if you read it, warning for the gut punch of angst that starts chap 32 "She/Her" (though the chapter before that, "Should Alastor Know By Now?" ends pretty rough too)

Freely We Serve by @romanaxe

i dont remember how i managed to stumble upon this but im having a great time. basically alastor is a new sinner fresh in hell (but time doesnt matter and the whole cast is still here) and thinks "what better way to gain power than be the personal assistant of the heartbroken king of hell!" features a 6-7 (rosies words) year old charlie and a morally dubious lilith (also i loved eepy al X3)

A Family Forged in Hellfire by Green_Ghostwriter (once again, no Tumblr, so AO3)

this ones a bit newer (10 chaps), is so far mostly exposition and the slowburn pot hasnt even been put on the stove, but as just a hazbin fic in general i see the potential. basically its a 1920s(30s?) au where heaven decides little charlie doesnt deserve to be raised in hell and is sent to earth with a "foster" family where her actions in life will determine witch realm she will return to after death. her "parents", al and mimzy, are given false memories so they can claim the girl as their own and gee i wasnt kidding when i said it was a lot of exposition. erm honestly explaining anymore would tech be spoiling so go read it!!

The Red Thread That Binds Us by @scun-gilli

{{future me prefacing this by saying i have no idea where i was going with yesterdays thought process, all you need to know from it was im on chapter 27. also scungilli your comment is making me very worried 😟 well theres no mcd tag so im sure itll fine, right? RIGHT, SCUNGILLI??}}

basically its a king x kings guard au where al and luci grow up together and only grow closer after a. certain life event for al (its fine guys trust :)) [she said, like a liar]) then al is sent off for royal guard training school (ik its not called that i forgor 😭) but dw he comes back. just watch out for graphic depictions of injuries (i think thats this fic) angst and a sneaky eve bc radioapple fics are allergic to happiness (or maybe im not looking hard enough lol) (also im really tempted to make the friendship bracelets they had 👀)

somewhere down the line by kj_crwm (AO3 link)

this one starts off as human!alastor/lucifer but by the middle(?) its just regular radioapple. basically al is encountered by luci while finishing off a job who agrees to keep quiet. luci just keeps on showing up, reveals hes the devil to which al us just like "lol ok" and eventually they get in a relationship (ooh lala 👀) but they break up after saying some hurtful things to each other (oh nono 👀) with luci promising al they will never cross paths again. if you watched the show then well. you know that doesnt happen 😂 most human!al radioapple have al summon him (no hate to them) so this was an interesting change of pace

new recs below!! ↓↓

Alastor and Lucifer do whatever the Hell this is (series) by Vagabond_Sloth (personally asked, no Tumblr, but they might make one 👀)

i know this is radioapple fic rec post but... *cough* Husk and Angel do a Romance for some soft huskerdust *cough* anyway- basically, a perplexing flower arrangement leads to a blossoming something between the resident radio demon and king of hell. seriously, its some good shit, and the author is really nice!

A Compliment A Day by @decembercamiecherries

spinning this around in my head at all times

basically, a classic "charlie makes al and luci compliment each other as a bonding excessive" but it does not disappoint (check out her other three radioapple fics too)

a lovely night (lalaland is that you??) and pancakes, small talk by @mirotic_chess (X Twitter account)

in a lovely night they do a lil dancey dancey and in pancakes, small talk luci makes some pancakes!!

Sin and Sentiment and Time On My Hands by demon_fawn (supposed Tumblr leads to a dead end)

oh my god future debs here and i am so fucking tired of doing these descriptions but. um. the plot for sin and sentiment def seems very interesting and time on my hands is an incomplete (but good!) attempt at radioapple week. hmm not sure if they still post bc the most recent update was july 12th

honestly just every radioapple fic by @otoshigo (i think ive read all but Forbidden Fruit of the Poisonous Tree)

if you look underneath the little island that is radioapple, on god otoshigo is one of the creators holding it up. all 19 (yes, 19. we eatin good tonight [excluding forbidden fruit]) of their radioapple fics are fantastic, buuut if i had to recommend anything specific: A Guide to the Care and Maintenance of the King of Hell (fuck count furfur!) and The Devil's Trip to the Big Apple

not to continue the trend, but basically anything by @thief-of-eggs (even the singular huskerdust) but personal recommendations: Trust and Hair Pets and Let Me Be Your Shelter (sickfics 🔛🔝)

idk if youll catch me doing the descriptions for these anymore shit was exhausting

tagging time!!!! (i want to end it all)

[tapestryundone]

yknow what why not. have this from last night

(just the text under the cut)

IM INTRIGUED BY WHATEVER HE HAS GOING ON bc he likes fun but seems also deeply unhappy with himself which FEELS like it contradicts his whole being Like That but it makes Sense. why is he so self consious

it FEELS related to him as a voice being like. a desperate desire for agency at all costs. to be able to have fun in an extremely stressful situation. im struggling to put my finger on it but its liek

all of the voices are tied to complex emotions and hes like. the epitome of trying to get someone to leave you alone by doing anything you can to piss them off. like hes decided he Likes to do that, actually, and its NOT a desperate attempt to gain control in a situation where he has none, bc hes genuinely compassionate but it gets hidden behind the fact that he wants to upset hte narrator. hes the opposite of the opportunist in that he doesnt want to appeal to people who have power over him, he doesnt want to fight them or run away from them, all he wants is to aggravate them because he doesnt think he CAN do anything else. its pestering someone bc its the most power you can exert against people and situations you dont wanna be in, and then convincing yourself that its what you wanted in the first place

as a guy who likes fun DOES make him clash w the tones of a LOT of the game but i think its like. easy to look at the other voices and pinpoint what survival mechanism they are and then contrarian shows up and its less obvious

but hes a persons NEED to have fun, similar to cold. where cold has rejected the notion of emotions but still seeks novelty, contrarian NEEDS to experience joy and is trying to force it to happen, even if it involves goading the others or making bad long-term decisions. hes a very emotion-heavy voice and i think thats probably WHY hes quick to feel guilt and shame, bc it stems from teh same need to feel satisfied with actions and your environment, because in a situation like this, you CANT get entertainment from yourself. but he cant entertain anyone but himself. but he cant actually do that because its weak, poorly executed attempts at levity that falls apart under pressure

idk if this makes ANY sense im just intrigued by him. bc the stranger route started as a joke but it seems to serve as the BIGGEST outlier of a chapter in the whole game to teh pt where it can give you an entirely new ending that even goes so far as to include a second voice in the ending which makes me feel like he has to be important SOMEHOW

maybe its just the underlying emotions of it all. above all else, people want to enjoy life. it doesnt matter if life is stagnant, or if life is a unending cascade of changes, because its only bad if the people it affects do or dont enjoy it. because what the world does and doesnt need revolves around if it makes you feel good. hell i feel like theres a case for the fact that the contrarian ALWAYS gives you new, novel options. he ADDS change wherever he goes. hes the among the most connected to the shifting mound of the voices in that what he wants changes by the moment because what he wants above all else IS change and novelty. and hes a persons need for joy in life, something that is so distinctly mortal, to not just exist but to ENJOY existing, something that the narrator gave the long quiet and the shifting mound. he just extremely represents choices that are Out There. and the fact that the contrarian ascribes "the courage to do things that others may not do" as being him is ALSO interesting to me. maybe hes not just a persons ability to seek joy but also a persons ability to push back against outside pressure. a complement to the heros desire and conviction for agency, being the ability to push back when that agency is denied, to be able to live and feel fulfilled through ones OWN choices, not someone elses

and in an environment that so often denies that agency, his Whole Deal is trying to wrench back that agency even if he knows it wont work. the Trying IS the point. but in spending so much time trying to wrestle agency back you dont really pay attention to situations where you dont need to do that. because as far as hes concerned, you dont have agency, cant have agency, and wont have agency, so the best he can do is be a dick about it. as far as hes concerned, choices dont really matter. if everything is changing, if you can make EVERY choice, then do those choices matter? which always shocks him when they DO. because as an entity that exists to try to piss off those denying you agency, you dont realize where the line between 'choices that dont matter' and 'choices that have effects' are. but by his nature he ALWAYS forces his actions to matter without realizing it. maybe THATS why the knife never comes back after he throws it away. because it is in his nature to allocate agency where there previously was none. to the detriment of Literally Everyone

guy who makes agency exist but doesnt realize hes causing that and keeps acting like his choices dont have consequences

and that in itself is like. his comment abt EVERYTHING being as bad as nothing. feels like it rly strongly is tying him to what tlq and tsm once were. because they used to be the combination of everything and nothing. but now they are everything and nothing, apart. and maybe thats part of where contrarians weird self consciousness comes from, because his very existence is to force EVERYTHING to be possible, to do EVERYTHING, to cause as much change as possible, but its still not what he wants, he wants a balance that doesnt exist anymore

idk if this is making ANY sense i feel like ive accidentally talked into circles like 50 times but out of all of the voices the context of his purpose intrigues me the most actually bc i think everyone else has pretty straightforward purposes and then theres. This Guy who JUST causes problems. but its weirdly sincere about it. and i think its intentional bc blacktabbygames does not shy away from making Guys Who Are Just Obnoxious and unwavering in their goals, and for how much each of the voices so adamantly resist yet desire change, contrarian and hero are both the most malleable and changing

[seriesxwriting]

Giving in to you

W stiles stilinski

𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮- 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨 (𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫)

Series- tw (teen wolf)

Paring- stiles and McCall fem reader

Warnings- kissing, t-shirt removing, swearing, um cliff jumping??

Summary- you can’t tell stiles how you feel. He’s your brother’s best friends, surely he wouldn’t even look at you twice. But on the anual camping trip you realised that he’s struggling to not give in to you just as much as you are him.

———————————————————————

The anual camping trip. It was that time once again where me, my family and a few family friends all packed up the cars to the brim just to camp out in a cold, boring woods. Needless to add the fact there was no wifi or electricity, even working toilets didn’t accompany us on the trip. I knew it was going to be a weekend of my mum trying and failing to catch fish, stiles and Scott ditching me, made up camp fire stories and uncomfortable sleeping.

Still, i couldn’t get out of it. So here I stood with my hands on my hips biting my lip trying to figure out if my orange, wonky tent was supposed to be wonky or if it would fall down and suffocate me in my sleep. I guess that would be a way out of the trip. 

“Y/n- that doesn’t look right” my brother observed as he walked over holding his backpack with one strap on his shoulder. “Yeah.. I was just thinking that” “you didn’t pull the strings tight enough” stiles chuckled joining us, he began pulling the strings out the ground. “Pass me the hammer” he pointed to my hand with a smile. He was so cute.

Shut up y/n, that’s your brothers best friend don’t be selfish he wou- “hellloo? Earth to y/n” stiles called out pulling me from my day dream. “Shit- here” I passed him the hammer and using his strong muscular arms pushed it into the ground making my tent look somewhat normal. “Thanks” I smiled when he stood back up. “Well i don’t want it falling on us when we’re asleep” he laughed giving me the hammer back. When his hand touched mine I felt electric sparks fly off.

“Us?” “Yeah, my tent was wrecked so Scott said i could just crash with you guys” stiles explained looking down at it. “Not a- problem Right?” “N- no no not at all” I practically shouted feeling nervous, stiles looked at me with one eye closed. It felt like it was just us here, even though everyone was clanging around us. “A-are we okay? I dunno it’s just felt like you’ve been a bit off with me recently” stiles asked turning to look at me once more.

Yeah because I realised I liked you more than I’m supposed to, more than I’m allowed to. “Yeah we’re fine of course we’re fine” “good- good, your the last person I wanna fall out with y/n” stiles told me lowering his voice as if we were talking about some secret drug deal that was about to go on. You’d think Scott would be the last person he wanted to fall out with, right?

I couldn’t tell if he was flirting EVER. He was quite hard to read. It was stuff like this that he said to me that made me fall for him. I wonder what he was thinking. “No we’re- fine, Im just- I don’t really like these trips so I’m a bit off I guess” “why don’t you like them?” He wondered with a little laugh. “Because- I’m in the middle of the wood with no phone and I stick to my mums side like we’re magnets because there’s nothing else to do”

“What? There’s loads to do why don’t you ever come with me and Scott to explore and mess about?” Stiles jerked his head back in shock, my lips pressed together looking at stiles. “I didn’t get an invite” “yes you did, I always tell Scott to ask if you want to join us- always”. I took a second to swallow that information. Fucking Scott. I didn’t want to bate out my brother but that had really pissed me off. “Maybe I wanted an invite from you” I shrugged softly smirking still holding eye contact with the boy.

“Did you now?”. I hummed in response keeping my thoughts a mystery, stiles let out a breathy laugh breaking our eye contact for a second. His cheeks turned slightly pink almost as if he was nervous. “Well you’ve got an invite, trust me i wouldn’t turn down spending any time with you”. I watched his eyes carefully, so when I saw them flick to my lips I knew for a fact he was thinking what I was thinking. We gave each other a look both knowing exactly what we were both imagining right now.

“Stiles! Come help me with the air bed” Scott shouted over from the famous jeep breaking the tension between us. Stiles looked across at Scott and then back to me “you coming?” “No I’ll leave that to you men” my hands shot up in defence and a laugh tumbled out of my pink lips. “The quicker it’s done the quicker we can get away from camp” he wiggled his eye brows at me before his arms stretched out and pressed down on my shoulders.

Stiles turned me around and walked me over to Scott as I giggled and tried to escape his grasp. Us three on our own carried the bed into the tent and managed to blow it up to an adequate level of comfortableness. After that was done we filled the tent with everything it needed, that being the flasks, the cool box, blankets and pillows and our bags with some change of clothes and activities to keep us occupied. It was much more fun doing it with stiles and Scott instead of just my brother this time.

“It looks perfect, shall we set off?” Stiles looked to Scott who had gotten comfy in one of the chairs. He had a flask of tea and a pink flowery blanket sprawled across his lap. But that didn’t matter, he was the alpha he could do as he wished with no questions asked. “Yeah sure, let’s go that way” he pointed behind our tent “mum, we’re going off to have a look about” Scott called out grabbing his mum’s attention, she stopped her conversation with Noah to wave at scott.

“Alright hun, will you bring some sticks back with you for another fire” she pointed to the pan sitting on the chard sticks. “Yeah will do, here y/n you can finish my tea” Scott said clearing making the assumption that I wasn’t coming with them. “She’s coming, just leave your tea there it will still be hot” stiles explained pointing at the ground. Scott’s eyes flicked towards me. “Come on” I told him with a sarcastic smile knowing he didn’t want me there. “Fine” he muttered putting his drink down in the grass and bouncing up, heading into the woods.

Stiles turned his head to give me a soft smile and nodded me along. He waited until I got to his side and then we followed scott into the woods. “I shouldn’t have worn shorts and a crop too, these mozzys are killing me” i snarled slapping my leg trying to kill the blood sucker. “Gonna have to disagree, I like your outfit” stiles shrugged lightly looking down at me “this is just stuff I usually wear nothing special” I giggled shaking my head.

“I know, I remember when you wore that top to school because the boys wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it all day long” stiles rolled his eyes. What was going on. “I-m sure they were just- messing around” “i don’t care either way they shouldn’t have been saying it they shouldn’t have even been looking” stiles told me in a much more serious tone making my heart pound against my chest. “Stiles it’s really not that deep” I shook my head making my hair fall into my face. “It is to me” I heard him mutter under his breath.

“Why” “Because i couldn’t stop them- no one, I couldn’t stop their thoughts about you i couldn’t stop them looking at you” he told me stopping in his tracks making me stop too and look directly into his baby brown eyes. Was he jealous? No that couldn’t be it, couldn’t it? “Because you’re not mine and that felt shit”. I blinked at the boy towering over me as the air pulled its self out of my throat and my heart nervously pumped out of my chest.

“Guys! Come check this out!” Scott yelled from up ahead. “We should- go” stiles began walking putting a defensive wall up between us. I watched him walk off for a few moments before I made my own move. I was so confused. We trudged through the sky scraping trees before we got to a clearing and there stood a huge lake with a sort of waterfall coming down from some rocks. “Looks like fishing is on the table” Scott told us as we took in the view. “It’s beautiful” “yeah, beautiful” stiles agreed, but when I looked across at him he wasn’t looking at the view. He was looking at me.

“Let’s go see if there’s any rocks at the bottom of the water, if there isn’t we should be able to jump in” Scott wriggled his eyebrows up and down. He bagan to wade his way in after removing his top. Stiles copied throwing his top onto the the floor and removing his shoes. I had to grit my teeth together so my mouth didn’t hang open or I started drooling. Scott turned around splashing at stiles beginning a water bending fight. “There’s no rocks over here” stiles called out ten seconds before he disappeared under the water.

“And it’s pretty deep too” he yelled when he came up for air. His hands ran through his hair and the moment felt as if it was played In slow mo. “Come on y/n, climb up” stiles shouted as he began pulling himself out the water onto the rock formation. “I don’t really- like hights!” I yelled back across the water. “Don’t be a baby!” Scott cackled as he climbed up behind stiles. I let out an annoyed sigh before taking off my shoes. I went round so I didn’t have to get into the water.

When I reached the top the boys were lying on the grass laughing and panting. “I won! I beat the alpha!” Stiles howled out and he fist pumped the air. “You got out first” Scott laughed shaking his head while standing. He looked down at the water before backing up. “Your just jealous j-e-a…” Stiles chuckled sitting up with his legs dangling down. Scott whizzed past us cutting stiles off, taking a large leap into the air and then plummeting into the water. I gasped covering my mouth but relaxed after I heard a splash and then a very excited scream come from my brother mouth.

“Come On” stiles looked my way laughing a little. “I’m not sure sti” I chewed on my lip looking down. “Do it with me then” he told me pushing up off the floor. “You can close your eyes if you have to” he leant his head to the side playfully “come on I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, you just have to hold on” “fine” I rolled my eyes trying to hide my smile. “Get on” stiles tapped his back, slowly walking over I held onto his shoulders and then jumped onto his back. He caught me tightly holding me against him.

“You okay?” He asked gently turning around to me, my chin was resting on his shoulder so our faces were now inches away from each others. “Y-yeah” I gave him a breathy answer. “Good” he answered looking at the side of the cliff that we were edging towards. “Stiles i don’t….” And with that he leaped far off the cliff. I felt the air rushing past my whole body. I couldn’t breath. And then we hit the cold water. Letting go of stiles I splashed about panicking, but I felt a hand on my wrist pulling me up to the surface.

“You okay?” Stiles laughed attaching a hand to my hip bringing me towards him so I was sturdy until my memory of treading water was triggered. “That was fucking awesome! Let’s go again” I rushed swiping my wet hair out of my face. Stiles left out a laugh throwing his head back, I looked at Scott who was looking at us suspiciously. “You coming?” I quizzed pulling instantly away from stiles and swimming to rock wall. “Yeah” Scott nodded. And that’s what we did for what felt like hours. Messing around in the water.

On the way back we collected some stick for the fire but it was pretty hard as the moon was coming up and our source of light was no more above us. When we got back to camp our food was ready, apparently Noah got tired of waiting for us and went off to get sticks himself, so we now had a surplus of sticks. We told them about the body of water we found and surprise surprise my mum said we can go fishing tomorrow. And as if somebody was reading what I was saying, the camp stories began after dinner.

“Dad you didn’t see a ufo on one of your calls” stiles rolled his eyes laughing. “Were you There stiles? No, so how would you know what I saw?” Noah raised an eyebrow at his son who still didn’t believe him. “We dunno what’s out there” Scott shrugged looking up at the stars. “We’ve seen things that no one else would believe” “yeah but… aliens?” My mother chewed her lip nervously, clearly frightened of that idea. “I think I’m going to go and get comfy, if I don’t come back out Goodnight everyone” I smiled pushing up from the fold up chair.

“Night sweetheart” my mum beamed at me. I unzipped my tent, it was quite big it had two compartments one for sleeping and one for living in. I spent what felt like hours sitting in the corner with a blanket reading my book before I decided to get changed into my pjs for extra comfort. I climbed into some gym shorts and I was just about to put my top on before stiles stepped into the tent. “Shit- shit I’m- sorry” he swallowed nervously turning around quicker than I’d ever seen him move.

“It’s just a bra stiles” I laughed shrugging it off while trying to find the top I wanted. “No I- should have knocked” “we’re in a tent” I told him feeding my head through the hole and my arms after. “Where is everyone?” “Everyone’s in the car listening to some music, most of the adults are drunk” “as per, You can turn around now and stop complaining” i sniggered while zipping up my bag. “Oh that wasn’t me complaining, that was me respecting you- and boundaries” he said when he looked back at me. “Well next time Don’t be so respectful”.

Stiles watched my smirk from the floor as he tried to figure out what I meant by that. “Don’t start something because I will finish it” stiles told me as flick of excitement flashed in his eyes. “I don’t know what you mean by that- I don’t know what you mean half the time” I scoffed looking at him with my y/e/c eyes. “Stop it because I’m trying so hard here…” he sighed looking upwards. “Trying hard to do what” “keep control- but that’s not something I have when I’m around you” he admitted. I was bored of messing around.

I needed to know what he was thinking, what he felt. “Then give in, why are you trying?”. Stiles looked back down at me hungrily, I saw the exact moment he gave up the control. He darted towards me lowering to my level. I knew exactly what was about to happen. Stiles latched his lips onto mine holding my face close as if he didn’t want to let me go. I pulled myself up so my body could be closer to his and an arm went around his neck, my hand pleasantly found his hair. “I’m so fucked” stiles whispered against my lips.

I kissed him harder “Why?” “Because I’ve lost control now and I have no intention of trying to get it back” he told me pulling away for a second to look at me. “I don’t want you to get it back, this is what I want stiles” I whispered before pressing our lips together again. The boy pulled the top off that shouldn’t have been put on in the first place and then he lowered me to the ground kissing me again moving his tongue into my mouth.

“Stiles is y/n asleep i w…” scott pulled open the tent door. His eyes locked with mine before stiles’s seeing him over the top of me wearing no top. My face instantly turned red, stiles didn’t exactly get off me either because of my bra being on show.

Scott’s eyes flashed red.

———————————————————————

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Masterlist

[conceptofjoy]

How did you figure out your classpect? most things point to knight of time for me and i cannot handle having the same classpect as DAVE????? and ur like THE homestuck expert to me (constantly based takes :3) so im curious how u figured urs out cause i am struggling because i have no idea wtf im like and its worded all weird

hmm partially was because i had known the time thing for years before i got back into homestuck but when i re analyzed it, it still held up.

then theres this beast of an analysis. i agree w most of it! i think theres some class stuff that im raising an eye over i guess, tho but over all, its good. i think it should maybe analyze classpects in the relation to the story more rather than characters as individuals if u get what i mean.

i think some classpect r easier 2 glean bc there r other character categories that help if ur able to identify as one of these:

red girl (dave, aradia, arquius, damara/handmaid)

green girl (callie/al, kanaya, jade, porrim, snowman)

pink girl (roxy, meenah/hic, feferi)

blue girl (snowman, vriska, aranea/ mindfang, june, jane, terezi)

puppet (cal) lover which has a pre and post soul-sealing distinction (all dirks, equius, caliborn, and gamzee)

prospit/ derse

if your class falls into the swapped around dancestor groups like how bard and prince got switched for makaras and amporas

and uh… there r others but they are eluding me. you dont have to be a Girl to be in those categories, just have a complex relationship with patriarchy. also some categories have characters that overlap w each other like equius/hal. their red girlness plus exploitation under patriarchy is hella interesting.

so if youre looking at like the green girl area and going oh shit! me for real! then u should look into space. you can relate to the theme of one character or character group and then the actions of a character from a different group. thats a simplified explanation of a classpect, how a person is effected by system of power, and what they do in response to it.

roxy’s class interacting with her pink girlness is why she was the one to kill HIC, and void has ties to the outer gods the fuchsias can interact with.

jane turns red and aradia turns blue when being their most exploited. they revert back when back to their true selves slash colors when freed.

vriska overpowering gamzee was symbolic of her pushing back the rage and or patriarchal themes he represented. light deals with plot while hope and rage deal with reality, those two things are closely intertwined bc they all exist within a story.

[noowayybroo]

I saw you wanted to write something about this and ykw I’d love to see it!! Could you write some headcanons (or whatever your comfy w) abt calling leon/showing up late at his house after you got into a bad fight w ur abusive bf? Im thinking mainly he comforts you nd then deals w the bf later

TY FOR UR ASK AND IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG!! ok sooooo it's not like a full fic but it's a teeny bit more than a hc. I won't focus sm on the bf because I think it's a traumatic thing you know and people who might use this to cope might find it harder to relate or they might just be reminded of their issues so I'll keep it quite vague if it's ok with you. This is very vague so I think it's any Leon in mind! Enjoy!

Characters: GN!BestFriend!Leon x GN!Reader (Mentions of Reader's abusive partner)

Warnings: SFW BUT NOT A HAPPY FIC - Hurt / comfort. Mentions of abusive and just overall shitty partners. Mentions of Crying. One mention of being drunk. Mentions of abuse and victim self-blaming (the relationship really messed you up, sorry) Use of Y/N

Another horrible date ends with you storming out of what's meant to be your favourite restaurant, blaming yourself for everything you'll never be responsible for.

Your partner has a way of doing that: making you think it's you who's in the wrong, regardless of the fact that they were the one who was late and they were the one who wouldn't get off their phone and pay you back the attention you give them every day.

Again you'd been let down, and you stumble home in the rain, alone, because your excuse of a partner was staying behind to finish their meal. Your clothes are as drenched as your soul, heavy rain just about heard over pitiful sobs. You're in a world of your own, narrowly avoiding a trip or fall with each step, eyes too squinted to see more than a blur.

You're crying so hard you almost don't hear your phone buzz in your pocket.

It'll be that bastard, you think to yourself as rage seeps into your bubble of despair. What could they want now?

You've half the mind to ignore it. They're not used to you not answering instantly. They know they have you wrapped around their finger. Maybe they'll think something happened to you. And it'll be their fault.

Great.

..But then again, you don't really want that, do you? You're a good person. They've wormed their way into your head so well that you begin to feel guilty. You have to at least check... Maybe they're sorry-

Begrudgingly, almost ready to snap the phone in two the second you see that dreaded name, you pull it out to check. You're so numb you barely mind how the rain soaks the expensive screen in mere seconds. All you can bother to do is haphazardly wipe the screen across your clothing once before swiping your notifications down.

Between the gathering droplets, the message is, of course, not from your dickhead "soulmate" because really, they don't care about you. It's from Leon, your friend. And for a second, a smile almost comes to your lips. You slow down your pace and read the message, not noticing how your tears are already much less frequent. Leon's always been a sweetie. He's always there for you, and when he says he's got your back, oh boy do you believe it.

Leon never asks anything from you, he just loves you unconditionally... and you're sure it's just as platonic as you'd like it to be. He knows you care about him too, and he'd never give you any less than you give him. It must have been some kind of divine intervention that called upon him to message you now during one of your lowest moments. Or-

PLEASE don't tell me that was YOU crying outside just now.

Your jaw falls open in shock and your feet come to a still. You'd been steaming ahead on pure misery. You were on Leon's street already? Looking around confirms your suspicions as you wipe your screen again, shakily replying as tears continue to stain your cheeks. But before you can hit send, another message comes in:

THAT IS YOU OMG. Why the yelling?! Drunk again??

Just as you can finish typing out "Yeh, it was me, I'm going homes sorryyy", Leon comes bounding after you in the rain. He slows down as he gets to you, circling around to get a look at your face before draping his coat over your shoulders. He's smiling initially, glad to see you, but when his eyes meet your red, puffy ones, his face falls. His shoes are loose. One of his heels not even properly inside. He's wet from the rain, not even wearing a coat for himself. That's how quickly he left for you.

"Y-y/n..." His voice is small, dreading as he gently holds your shoulders, ducking to look into your downturned eyes "What happened?" Before you can even answer, his arms are around you, redirecting you towards his house and out of the rain. He practically pulls you along, trying to get you to shelter like a lifeguard escorting someone from the depths. You have no time to tell him anything before he's yanking you into his home.

Despite how wet and filthy you are from the hammering rain and muddy puddles, Leon barely lets you take any outside gear off. He leads you to his living-room - the sight both familiar and warming. You'd both shared many good memories here even though you hadn't been round many times. If Leon knew anything, it was how to take care of you and make you laugh. And that's why, no questions asked, he's covering you in blankets, holding you close and cooing gently about how you don't have to tell him what happened but that-

"If you want to tell me anything, I don't care what it is or how much there is, I'll listen."

After a while, you're able to come down from your panic. You're able to open up and tell Leon what happened this time. You can practically see his fists ball as he grips the blanket, pretending to only do so to pick it up and wrap it more tightly around you. He avoids eye contact. At times, it feels as though the news of your neglect affects Leon much worse than it does you.

He swallows thickly as you continue, and only when your voice cracks a little and you become teary once more does his gaze snap to you. He places a gentle hand on your cheek and once more ducks his head so he can be the one looking up at you. He respects the reason for your shy and defeated posture, not wanting to look up at him. He wouldn't have you go out of your way just to suit him. He's practically cuddled up to you, hands gently kneading you wherever it comforts you most through your blanket prison.

His eyes scream empathy and sorrow for your situation. The grimace of a scowl on his face tells you he's thinking about something, but you're not sure what. Maybe he's had a bad day. Maybe you're burdening him.

Here comes the guilt train again.

Your words falter and then you shake your head, sighing sadly. At least your tears are dry now.

"It's really nothing" You tell him, capping off a list of about a month's abuse and neglect since you'd last seen Leon. He shakes his head, almost offended.

"It's not nothing, Y/N, it's everything." His voice switches from a growl to a whisper after he catches himself on the first few words. He goes back to gently holding and petting you, sighing as he thinks very carefully about his next words. "You're a wonderful person. You're a good friend. I know you're the perfect soulmate too..." his face goes a little red. It seems he didn't think carefully enough about those words. "That sounded a little weird but what I mean is you can do better. Much better."

'Nails on a chalkboard' couldn't even come close to describing how Leon felt whenever you'd speak about how your partner treated you. For months now, it felt like within a few words, just describing your morning or text chat with the prick sent Leon to his own circle of hell.

It was tormentuous. Of course, it wasn't you. It could never be you. You were Leon's best friend. Hearing you open up to him was bitter sweet. He was grateful you were able to, but seeing you being weighed down and trodden over like this, it hurt him. You needed to leave that person, and so, Leon needed you to leave them.

He'd never told you really how he'd felt about that particular detail. He never wanted to be the bad guy, or to tell you what to do, in case it might draw you closer to your partner. Today, though, he couldn't take it any more. He wouldn't watch you suffer. Leon was going to do something about it, even if you didn't. Heck, he'd do it, even if you did first.

"You give this person everything. All your time, all your love, and I don't mean to rub it in at all, but to be honest... I want you to leave them. For yourself. You're strong and you might not need it, which is why you keep letting them do this, but you deserve someone who cares about you. Who wants you." He's looking into your eyes again, pleading for you to understand. He's begging you to just listen, just this once. Otherwise, you both know he'd let you walk all over him.

Truth be told, it didn't actually surprise you that Leon wanted you to leave your partner. You'd be lying if you'd said the realisation didn't gnaw away at you each time you looked into those eyes of his. You wanted to make Leon happy, and, contrary to his fears, you knew he was right. You'd take his side over any of your partners in a heartbeat, probably. You wanted to leave your partner, especially now those sobering words of Leon's had hit you. It was a rallying cry to stand up for yourself, and you so badly wanted to do it, but...

"It's hard." You whimper, shying away, hiding your face from Leon. Unlike your partner, he doesn't become enraged at your refusal, he doesn't lean in to catch your gaze or force you to look at him. He just stays quit for a bit before gently hushing you.

"I know, I know" He hums, barely audible - his words are so soft and quiet, fanning you. "I know it's hard." There's heavy truth to his words. Leon has always understood you, and he's been through so much, you know you're preaching to a harrowed choir.

"We've been together for months... I've never had anyone like that before. I can't just..."

"It's okay to be alone, you know?" Leon asks softly "I know that might be worrying you too... Not finding someone? But I promise you... I'll never lie about how lovely you are. Hell if you just turned around you'd see a line of people waitin'." There's a desperate tone to his voice. He needs you to believe him. But it also kinda sounds like there IS a line of people swarming his home. It makes you giggle, and that makes him chuckle.

"You know I'm being honest, right? I mean I might even-" He cuts himself off quickly and looks away. There's a small silence before he looks back at you, gently wiping calloused thumbs over your cheeks, brushing away any remaining moisture. Then, he sighs deeply "Listen, I know it's hard, but you're better off alone than with... with them, alright?"

It's hard to accept defeat but you nod weakly. You sit there together in silence for a while. Mulling everything over. Leon's right. You have to get out of there. And then it hits you. What if your partner doesn't just... let you go...

"But what if they-"

"I won't let them." his voice is firm, knowing exactly what you were going to say. He seems to have been thinking the exact same thing, and looking over, you notice he has that thinking look again, fists gripping your sides gently, protectively. "I promise I won't let anything happen to you, okay? We get you out, and we get you out in one piece." He looks into your eyes, this time, determined. His stare captures yours. You can't look away. You know what he's silently demanding, and you can't bring yourself to say no.

Weakly, you nod. "I want... I don't want to be with them anymore."

Leon lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and then seems to have a sort of 'eureka moment', but decides not to celebrate just yet. "That's great, Y/N. I'm... I'm happy for you." He gently rubs your shoulders a few times before getting up "How about I get takeout, yeah? This causes for celebration" He shoots you a playful smirk as he rushes to the kitchen to retrieve about 5 different menus which he then throws to you.

By the time you've escaped the four blankets he coated you with and decided what you'd like, he's got his shoes on and is ready to go. You get to your feet but are knocked back by a disarmingly playful glare. He chuckles as you fall back into the couch, defeated. "You're not going anywhere, buddy. I'm gonna get you some food, and when I get back, we'll sort things out. Okay? Just trust me, please." His look is soft. You feel completely cared for. And so, accepting his offer, you allow Leon to go on his way.

A while passes as you scroll through the shows on Leon's TV, all boring you. You'd rather be bored, though, than reading whatever abusive messages your soon to be ex had been piling up for you. You're exhausted. Curling up on the couch, you wait for Leon to get back. You feel so comfortable, and so soothed, and it's all thanks to him.

Leon was fortunate to find you asleep by the time he got back to his house. It gave him time to get changed into something more comfortable. It gave him time to clean his knuckles, and to remove any unsavoury messages that had accumulated on your phone (best friend password perks.) And by the time you woke up to the smell of your favourite food, it was still warm. He'd already plated it up for you, and you enjoyed it with your favourite choice of film. (Leon would NOT have it any other way.)

For a while, Leon's magic had drawn you from your problems, and it was only when you were drifting off for the second time that night that you even thought to check your phone. You were ready to do it. You were ready to leave that relationship behind. There was only one unread message, not a barrage of abuse, as you'd imagined.

Y/N. I understand that I've treated you poorly and for that I'm very sorry. You never deserved any of it. I hope you can forgive me, and I know you want out, so I think it's best for us both if we went our separate ways. I'll drop your things off at your mate's house tomorrow. I won't message you again.

That was strange, but it was welcome. And unbeknownst to you, you weren't the only one having the most peaceful sleep in a long time that night. Leon slept better than he'd done in months, maybe even years, and your ex, well. Your ex slept.

Thank you for reading this uhm it's kinda sussy we have no idea what happened to the ex ooo spookyyy!! imo Leon just beat them up haha Idk. Again I'm sorry this took so long! It was actually much more emotional and special for me to write haha so I hope someone out there likes it. Especially you, anon, if you're still around! Thank you! Thank you all for being here I love you all like crazy. If Leon teaches you anything here I hope it's that you're valid and important and that you matter, and not just to me!! To loads of people! Please believe in yourself and chase your dreams! Try and make time for your hobbies and aspirations! We're here to have fun and to live our lives!! Take some time out for yourself please, and remember you deserve love and respect and if people don't give it to you (when youve done nothing wrong) then maybe those people are smelly, and maybe you should surround yourself with a more positively fragrant variety of human. Love you!!!

[valentine-writes]

boys don't cry

「 tws + notes: no tws, unedited, masc coded reader (kinda. no pronouns used!! but trust y'all i'll b writing masc reader stuff soon cuz I Need It), inconsistent lengths for each character i am Filled W/ Favouritism, kisses can be platonic (spider-noir part i love this man), reader is used to bottling emotions up, the spot's part is Not That Serious, characters all love u and wanna help :> 」

「 gn!reader, can be platonic or romantic <3 」

↳ ft. gwen stacy, hobie brown/spider-punk, jessica drew, lyla, margo kess/spider-byte, miles morales (1610 and 42), miguel o'hara/spider-man 2099, (spider-man) noir, pavitr prabhakar, peter b parker, and the spot/johnathan ohnn

author's note: this song slaps╰(*°▽°*)╯ also see other songs below which influenced this <3 u can slowly see me losing the slash srsness as the character progress,,, apologies. many :(( anyways!! had this marinating in my drafts so im posting. hopefully will get time to clear my inbox and fulfill reqz! tysm for ur patience lovelies !!!!（。＾▽＾）<333

“i try to laugh about it / hiding the tears in my eyes” – the cure, boys don't cry

“i didn’t want you to hear / that shake in my voice / my pain is my own” – car seat headrest, 1937 state park

“i don’t know why i am / the way i am, not strong enough to be your man” – boygenius, not strong enough

▸ GWEN, who all too familiar with what it's like to keep up a tough act for the sake of not falling apart.

she's grown accustomed to letting emotions eat away at her until they're too big to deal with. which is why she's quick to feel empathy when she sees that you do the same thing.

she won't force you to talk about anything you don't want to– but if you need an outlet, she hands you her drum sticks.

"maybe it'll help you like it helps me." gwen explains, giving you that awkward little smile of hers that makes everything weighing on you feel a little less heavy.

always trying to help you find a way to channel your emotions. even if drumming doesn't work for you. maybe it's singing. maybe it's art. or maybe you just need to cry. no matter what it is, she doesn't mind. she just wants you to let it out in a healthy way.

▸ HOBIE is instantly aware of the fact you're the type to laugh and joke around to hold back tears.

you're trying your hardest to keep smiling, but he sees it falter as you try to speak, choking out the words while holding back a sob.

"'s okay to cry, y'know? no one 'round here but us anyways." he reassures.

you take a sharp inhale, knowing it was useless to pretend. he was always emotionally intelligent, able to read you like a book. sometimes you wondered if he could read your mind. or maybe he was just attentive with you.

he puts a hand on your back, gently rubbing as you feel the tears run down your cheeks. this turns into an arm around your shoulder as you cry, until you're fully sobbing– he decides to just pull your into his arms.

he's still holding you close, even as your cries subside into sniffles. always encourages you to be real with him. there's nothing he loves more than you being unfiltered– even if it means expressing negative emotions. to hobie, vulnerability is bravery.

▸ JESSICA DREW who's quick to notice you the minute you turn away to conceal your face.

she pulls you aside discreetly, knowing you probably didn't want attention of others. tries to meet you eye-level, asks you directly about what's wrong.

after a few seconds of silence, you finally break.

"i feel so weak." you sniffle, not meeting her eyes.

"for doing a little crying?" she sighs a little, shaking her head. "not at all. you're strong– you've been strong. but even strong people gotta cry."

she'll talk you through it or just sit beside you, offering you advice or even just a space to vent. she's very busy all the time– but she'll set aside time for you. tells you that hiding from emotions only works for so long and that tells you that you aren't any less tough in her eyes for feeling them.

you're only human after all. you deserve to live out the wholeness of the human experience.

▸ LYLA isn't really all too involved with your day-to-day life shenanigans (being the best ai assistant is hard), but she always makes a point to check up on you when she gets the chance.

besides, miguel sure isn't gonna gossip with her like you do.

"you doing good?" she'll ask, grinning.

you only respond with a weak "yeah" and the fakest chuckle she's ever heard, as you clearly attempt to blink back tears.

she doesn't know what to do. tries to wipe the tears that eventually fall with a virtual hand that phases right through your face. well. at least she had good intentions.

"hey, hey–" lyla gets you to take a deep breath. "look at me."

she says your name, regrounding you. you look up at her, and for a moment, she's certain that she's felt something akin to sympathy. she's felt something real.

lyla doesn't let that distract her from her objective– right now, she's gotta comfort you.

she repeats your name, "...it's okay. you cry if you feel like it."

▸ MARGO who sits you down, letting you be the one to speak first when your smile wavers.

"i hate fuckin' crying.." you laugh weakly, trying to make the situation better. it doesn't help control the tears. "i feel so lame for it."

"you know," she whispers, taking your hands in yours, "i still think you're pretty cool."

she gives you a grin that's so earnest– so sweet– that lets you know she's being honest.

"okay, so this might be stupid,, butttt–" encourages you two to listen to some moody music so you can get whatever you've bottled up out of you systems. it's cathartic, crying your eyes out with her as whatever the two of you have queued up blasts in the background.

doesn't judge you one bit for crying.

"only way out is through." she shrugs. "gotta feel it before you can actually let it go."

▸ MILES (1610) who had just asked an innocent question about how your doing, now watching as you struggle to respond.

after a strained moment of searching for words, you shrink away and hide your face in your hands. he scoots by your side, asking before gently taking your hands away from your face.

"what's wrong?" his voice is soft. gentle as he looks at you with the sweetest concerned expression.

"i shouldn't be crying.. it's stupid... i feel so, so stupid–"

he frowns at these words. "i don't think it's stupid."

societal expectations forcing people to put on a tough act just to conceal emotions deemed as "weakness?" not a new concept to him. he's just sad that it's impacted you so deeply.

after this, will actively check up on how you're doing emotionally. will pull you aside to have a heart-to-heart if he senses the slightest thing off. terrified of being shut out by you, will always offer for the two of you to deal with whatever you're struggling with together.

▸ MILES (42) who asks more bluntly than he had intended when he senses you're not doing okay.

you take a sharp inhale, giving him an unsteady smile which only makes him sigh. no matter how much you try to make the situation lighthearted, his expression never changes.

"nah. you're not fooling me." he walks over to you, his voice softening as he looks at you. "...what's got you upset?"

a really good listener. lets you rest your head on his shoulder as you vent and let it out.

he's not the most open himself, so of course he understands– but he doesn't want you to be like him.

you thank him for putting up with your breakdown, feeling a little awkward as you pull your cheek away from his shoulder and look at him.

you watch as he falters for a moment, gently grabbing your arm and pulling you in for a warm, slightly stiff, side-hug.

"don't thank me for that– it's just what you deserve." though his quick to dismissal of what you'd said seems to be the end of his sentence– you watch as he unclenches his jaw, hesitating before he says something else.

"anytime. i mean it."

▸ MIGUEL who is jus like u for reals doesn't quite know how to cope with emotions either. that doesn't give him an excuse to not try with you.

he can't find the right words, but you see the empathy in his eyes. he offers quiet comfort– places a hand on your back, rubbing it as you lean into his side

"don't hide your face from me." he mutters to you. "it's just me."

your hands fall from your face into your lap, shoulders slumping. he feels you tremble softly, as you to reply.

"this should be for me to deal with. i should be strong enough." your words echo in his mind.

maybe because he's told himself the same thing too many times before as well. it's painful, the way that this moment with you reflects a mirror image of himself.

will crumble his own walls if it means you'll do the same. tries to be open to encourage you. you'll learn together.

▸ NOIR who is a gentleman through and through. always. tells you that he'll give you anything you need.

"i don't know what nitwit told you it wasn't okay for you to cry," his choice of words makes you crack a slight genuine smile, "but you don't have to believe them one second."

as your facade slowly crumbles, his gloved hands cup your face as you cry. he dries your cheeks, patiently nodding as he listened to you ramble on about everything you've been holding back.

when you've calmed down, he presses a kiss to your forehead.

to ache like this and still be concerned over burdening others– he's now finds little ways to remind you how precious you are to him. that he'll always care.

▸ PAVITR, who approaches you as delicately as possible. he tries not to do anything that will make you feel backed into a corner.

he knows that feeling scared can lead to lashing out. tries to be casual about it to ensure you're as comfortable as possible.

you crack an obviously forced joke and he glances at you questioningly.

"you're not telling me something, aren't you?" he asks. pavitr's secretly hoping he was good at playing this careful– but you had picked up that he wanted to talk to you about it for a while now.

you're both obvious.

your grin fades as you chuckle dryly. "i don't... i don't want to– it's embarrassing."

"what's embarrassing is that i didn't notice earlier. don't be shy. we can figure it out together, okay?"

offers all the help he can. even (secretly) messages gayatri for "advice for a friend" you!!! you are friend!!!!! he doesn't name drop tho. privacy king.

▸ PETER B(E MY WIFE) PARKER. the one who drags you outside to chat about it and cracks a stupid joke himself. it alleviates no tension at all.

"..ahh,, no, nevermind that kid. you okay?"

a shake of your head and his smile fades a bit. he grips your shoulder, shaking you gently.

"been there plenty of times. trust me– better to get it out now."

and for a while, it's just a conversation. you're both sitting outside, the night air bringing a chill to your skin. he offers his jacket– and then proceeds to pull you into it while he still wears it, your back pressed to his chest.

it goes unspoken, but he knew you had been struggling for a while now. he's relieved to finally get a moment with you.

he'll always be looking out for you. even if you don't realize.

▸ THE SPOT/JOHNATHAN OHNN panics ever so slightly. this is the first time you've ever cried in front of him. so he does what he does best– and just asks questions.

"you've been bottling it up this whole time?"

"mhm..."

"for how long?..." your response causes him to pause, blinking several times before parting his lips to speak again. "...oh. oh wow– yikes–" he means well i swear.

will scour the multiverse in search of a quiet place for you to lay this all to rest.

you admit, you're certain you don't need all this– but he seems happy to put in the effort and lead you into a portal into a nice area to relax.

"are we breaking and entering into someone's house?!"

"uh– don't worry about it for now."