#and im keeping my promise of the previous post
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chongoblog · 2 years ago
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sometimes you find out two songs have the same key, you try it out, and you realize that sometimes art really can be throwing things at the wall and seeing what beautiful thing might stick
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dizzybizz · 3 months ago
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some doodles
#i meant to put the balor one in the previous post but i forgor 😭its in a diff file from the sketch dump i was coloring in so it just didnt#exist in my mind at all. i felt like smth was missing as i was posting it but i couldnt place what hlep#adeline and eiland have been driving me insane lately. expect more of them. probably.#dont minf the last two guys. some concepts for future farms 😋 (pls mind them im crazy abt all my farmers even if they technically dont -#exist yet. pls ask abt them or smth pls im nroaml i can be nroma l i prommy)#fields of mistria#fom balor#sona#im gonna start tagging that i think.#fom eiland#fom adeline#fom elsie#fom farmer#my art#guys can i just say that im so happy that balor is silver n not gold cus otherwise i would have to confront a part of me im not proud of#we shouldnt talk abt it but like yeah jjust know i like his silver and his whole deal#have such a softspot n bias for characters who dont settle anywhere. who never lay down their roots or whatever. who keep their past secret#like oughh hes hitting so many marks#i like hawthorne a lot. hes more developed in my head. and also i like his dead look and hair bows. i have so many ideas abt him man it hur#i promised myself i wouldnt make a new save file til i reached y2 w rory but apperantly errols bday is cursed bc the game has frozen twice#sorry if you read all of these tags. go to my askbox w fom stuff or smth. ask abt my farmers plsplspls pl s jk haha unless. maybe even#gimme drawing reqs for fom in general. ok tyvm ly sorry for yapping. its what i do best
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welcometogrouchland · 2 years ago
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I get the impression that money was a bit tight on clouds on the horizon in general, what with the uneven time put into the lumity kiss vs the hexsquads fight outside blight manner w/ the infamous cha cha slide, plus background details going wonky (like baloony hunter), but my favourite semi-wonky frames are the closeups on Hunters face when he's talking with Luz about him being a grimwalker.
bc the proportions are just. So funny to me. Why is his nose so long. Why are his eyes in the middle of his face. When did his forehead get so big. What's happening. Did I die. Is this purgatory. I unironically love this bc it reminds me that this show was made by people who were trying their best. And sometimes their best looks the Bunter Vs hexsquad fight in thanks to them and other times it looks like this
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[ID: a screenshot of a close-up on Hunters face from clouds on the horizon. The placement and proportions of his face are slightly off. End ID]
(although in searching for this image I was informed that a different studio than normal animated clouds on the horizon. Which is probably at least part of the reason why there's so many bungled frames. Also probably why the cha cha slide got animated the way it did. God I love animation)
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chompe-diem · 4 months ago
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sometimes i wish i wasnt a guy who gets so exhausted from writing even 1k words in a day's work bc there are fic ideas up there man,,, theyre not Great ideas but they exist at least....
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faerieorbitars · 2 years ago
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have some guys. theyre all idols and only one of them is human
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textmel8r · 25 days ago
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you guys: she’s right behind me, isn’t she…
me, right behind you:
sorry, i am forever unserious. but let me be straight for a min and talk about why i left. about a month ago? i think? i left from my platforms, no word or anything and i was planning to keep it like that tbh, but i was feeling really guilty because i know that some people on here really enjoy my work, and that in it of itself will never not make me smile. so thank you to everyone who has been genuinely supportive of me and my content, it makes me endlessly happy and grateful and 😂😂🤣😊😊😂😊😀😀😚😋
that being said, there has been like, and unprecedented amount of hate in my inbox. i am talking upwards of 200 messages of the most deplorable shit, and i posted some of them a while back, but i don’t see any point in posting more anonymous rape threats and slut shaming. because what’s the point. i have thick skin, i am not no liberal snowflake😂😂😂 so while yeah, it sucks balls, i won’t bitch and moan about meaningless anon hate, as im sure literally every content creator receives this shit too.
but my issue arrives when i get my literal address and other personal details sent to my inbox. real life dox info. i understand that i am blunt and maybe come off as a cunt in some of my posts, and if i do then i promise it was all a bit, but spamming my own dox to my inbox is fucking ridiculous and unwarranted. i’m not sure if this is multiple people or just one troll, i don’t care either way, but i left because holy shit that made me paranoid.
i contemplated deleting my whole account, but i know that some people like to look back on my previous posts and reread and it’s so sweet. so no, i won’t delete this account because some pussy wants to dox me, i don’t think it’s fair. but i also won’t be returning, at least not for a while. it took a month for me to make this post because i was scared of getting more shit, and i’m sure this post will be the result of more shit, but i love you guys and i wanted to make sure you knew that daddy didn’t abandon you. im just getting cigarettes, ill be back home soon!
final words; thank you to all the people who have continued to support me, you made posting on this account really fun! i won’t be answering any dms or discord messages for the time being, i am just going to step away completely, so if i don’t answer to anyone reaching out, that’s why. okay though i will shut the fuck up now, have a good holiday season my little sugar plum gumdrops
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doromoni · 3 months ago
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Not Over the Papaya | OP81
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⊹ 。•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
Ships : Oscar Piastri x Popstar! Reader , Ex!Lando Norris x Popstar! Reader
Genre : Fluff Smau
A/N : I missed you all 🥺. Again I’m sorry this update took way too long~ Thank you for the people who wished me better (really, ily) . I’m devastated with the news about Logan 😭 poor boy just needed his confidence back I swear.
Face claim : Jennie Kim
Warnings : Cursing, Grammatical Errors
Summary : Y/N and Oscar cope with their own breakups by making the Heartbreak Club.
Masterlist | Series Masterlist
< Previous | Part 8 | Next >
f1wags
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f1wags Y/N in the paddock! Welcome back Queen 👑
user1 She’s finally here 😭 We missed you Y/N!!
user2 She’s literally glowing , Oscar’s so lucky!
user3 Are they dating? I thought she was with Lando??
user4 Girl were where you? A LOT has gone down 🙂‍↕️.
user5 Honey let me catch u up. Lando cheated on Y/N with her friend during the winter break. Lando then posted a breakup post stating that the breakup was on both sides and they parted on good terms which Y/N has denied (it was MESSY). Then Oscar and Lily was rumored to have split (they did, Oscar later posted a shady breakup post; Lily was allegedly cheating). Then Y/N and Oscar started hanging out (sometimes with Logan). + After Oscar’s win in Hungary — He was then spotted in America for Y/N’s show the day after. Then they were spotted several times together after and they are now allegedly dating (not yet confirmed).
user3 WHAT.
user4 MESSY RIGHT?!!
user3 Is Lando still with Y/N’s friend??
user5 She’s also in the paddock rn 🤡
user3 wtf?? the audacity??
user6 lando FUMBLED so bad. SO BAD.
user7 Literally not thinking straight. I swear Lando.
oscarpiastri 5 min
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story replies
Y/N. I guess soft launches aren’t our thing , Ok understood 🙂‍↕️
oscarpiastri Its not launching if we aren’t officially a thing yet, dear 🫶
Y/N. Oh right!! were only friends babe 🥰
oscarpiastri best of friends, Luv 😘.
Y/N. Ur so annoying , I love you 🙄. Have fun w/ ur interviews
oscarpiastri Thanks dear, Love you more!
charles_leclerc is this a hard launch 👀
oscarpiastri I don’t know, is it??😇
charles_leclerc don’t be smart with me boy . I didnt raise you like this
oscarpiastri you didn’t raise me at all! you were too busy flirting with the dutch boi .
charles_leclerc I—
oscarpiastri you are silenced old man
danielricciardo oi seat stealer, please tell Y/N to answer my messages. She keeps inboxing my messages! I need my cowboy hats 😩
oscarpiastri i prefer to call myself a mental health saver. I guided you back to Red Bull 🤓☝️
danielricciardo And got me my contract money 🤑. Back to the topic! come on pls tell Y/N! she promised me a cowboy hat from florida. pls pls pls
oscarpiastri Its in our luggage, calm down.
danielricciardo Damn “OUR” luggage. I still can’t believe you pulled Y/N from him. Cheers to you mate
oscarpiastri boi you still hold grudges with Lando huh.
danielricciardo him and the entire team can burnn 😀. Im saying this again, mate… watch your back.
oscarpiastri I know danny, you’ve warned me hundreds of times.
landonorris You little shit. You really brought Y/N here. You have the fucking balls huh
oscarpiastri I did, I do . What’s it to you?
landonorris You’ll regret this Oscar.
oscarpiastri Try me.
landonorris I’ll get her back.
oscarpiastri lmao sure you do.
Y/N. 3 min
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oscarpiastri oh hello self! nice seeing you here
Y/N. He’s cute right? Such a pookie
oscarpiastri I’ve seen better 🤷‍♂️
Y/N. Really?? I haven’t. He’s the cutest to me 🥰🥰🥰
oscarpiastri So i assume that we’re ok with posting each other then 🫣
Y/N. Hell yeah! I ain’t hiding you boi. Ur mine.
oscarpiastri Possessive… i like it
Y/N. oh you’re FREAKY.
Y/bf. And Oscar has made the public ig 🥳
Y/N. I assume u approve of Osc then
Y/bf. Out of everyone you’ve dated he’s the most decent
Y/N. Decent 😖
Y/bf. That’s a COMPLIMENT
danielricciardo OI Y/N! don’t ignore my messages!
danielricciardo MY HAT WOMAN! MY HAT
Y/N. OK CHILL! I have it you crazy aussie. Osc will give it to you tomorrow before FP1.
danielricciardo Thank you 😇.
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*Incoming call from Norris
Pick up or Decline
Pick up
“Hello?”
“We need to talk. Now”
“I didn’t unblock your number so you could disrespect me”
“I’m sorry… Can we talk in person?”
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landonorris 1 min
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*messages are disabled
Series Taglist : @champagneproblems17 @itsjustfranzi @cheriwritesig @forza-charles @awritingtree @sltwins @gr1mes-cc @hwalllllllelujah @btsfluffsworld @tillyt04 @landotd @booksandflowrs @czennieszn @thatsouthernblondewiththeass @tellybearryyyy @wobblymug @alittlechaotics-blog @bingussthirdtoe @mirrorball-6 @demandealalune @heartsforleclerc @yoongi-holland @maneskin-slave @alenix @forensicheart @bloodyymaryyy @stereading @hahahjej @youre-on-your-ownkid : closed
Maintaglist : @myescapefromthislife @peterholland04 @charlottef1 @fangirl125reader @mel164 @gnarlycore @chloelovesln4 @vickykazuya @merchelsea @ln4author @qzmef @nxk1309 @styl1shl1v @lottalove4evelyn @gr3yhues : closed for now
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hyukakisses · 3 months ago
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hihi can you do a kai ver of taehyun accidentally knocking up reader?
-emo huening kai accidentally knocking you up!
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pairings: hyuka x fem reader
plot: (request & huening kai ver of my previous taehyun post), headcanons of huening kai reacting to your pregnancy basically, disapproving parents
warnings: unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), cursing, smut!
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“ah— shitshitshitshit” hyuka pathetically whimpers dangerously closing to your ear drums as he pushes you against your squeaky bed. his cock hitting so deliciously against your warm walls, he knows he’s about to cum
usually huening kai would ask if you were on the pill before cumming inside not wanting to risk getting you pregnant, but something about you dolling yourself up for him while he was at his elle magazine photo shoot definitely made your boyfriend feel some type of way
“h-hold still fuck stop squeezing me like that i can barely move” huening kai breathes placing his large hand on the budge at your stomach in attempt to stop you from squirming
huening kai was on cloud 9, cumming so hard inside you breeding you full he didn’t even catch on to your loud whining in protests until you light smack at his arm. snapping your boyfriend out of his daze
“so sleepy” you’d roll to the side falling into a deep slumber making huening kai laugh affectionately at you
“goodnight princess”
the next few weeks you were more moody than usual, “kai did you get the strawberries i asked for?” “ah fuck no baby i forgot”
“so you hate me?” you began to weep alarming your boyfriend. “what? no baby i love you im sorry i just forgot i’ll make it up to you i promise”
“then go get me some strawberries right now!”
“i think i’m pregnant” you shyly whispered to huening kai as you both peacefully lay in eachothers embrace watching a shoujo anime
“what?” your boyfriend looks down at you, his fingers tracing your cheekbones as he lets out a giggle in disbelief
you’d look at him a bit more serious this time, “i think i’m pregnant”
your boyfriend panics, “what- what do you mean? we’ve always been so careful”
“i don’t know! stop stressing me out!” you’d shriek tears gathering up in your eye vision
the emo boy’s face softens as he pulls you closer, “im sorry baby i just- i just thought we were more careful that’s all”
a few minutes of huening kai comforting you as you cry in his chest past, as he speaks up once again. “are you.. are you thinking of keeping the baby?”
“i dont know” you’d sigh “my parents are gonna kill me if they find out though”
huening kai chuckles, “well whatever you want to do baby i’ll support you okay? i promise”
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a/n: short n sweet (im lazy)
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135-film · 9 months ago
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i forgot to write some stuff here, so im writing it now lol...!
ANATOMY: expanded.
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my anthro hands are kind of a wide topic (and one that isn't ENTIRELY finished) but broadly theyre like the image above.
furries are generally bald/padded on their palms and most of these pads/bald spots go down to their wrists. a lot of mammalian furries also have a pad where a dew claw would be, but this is mostly for aesthetic reasons for me and not anything else lol...
i'm mostly undecided on how nails/claws work, and what ungulate hands look like (i'm not a fan of anything i've done so far; i like the LOOK of full sheathed fingers, but...realistically they don't work. so i'm THINKING in canon they're "capped" with a hoof.), stuff like that.
CLOTHING: expanded.
all pants and underwear have an adjustable tail strap on the hem, though for some this is still inaccessible & they have to modify them with elastic bands or widen the tail hole, etc. - this is why i mentioned most of my furries would have some sewing knowledge :]
hoods and hats also have similar straps, though these are generally more accessible since ears are softer/more flexible than things with a lot of muscle and bone lol. raincoats and other weatherwear do not have ear holes and can be considered inaccessible, but...again, ears are still more flexible than tails so its not TOO much of an issue lol.
there are some places that sell earless hats and coats for those with short/no ears (or as just a fashion choice), but these places arent extremely common.
helmets do not have earholes though, but most helmet manufacturers/creators take care to ensure that they can actually fit a multitude of species since its not "one size fits all."
glasses are also sold by species, but are typically nose-pinched frames. even though i dont draw them like that lol
i want to talk about stupid stuff in my furry world even though i don't really think anyone's listening :)
this is really long so i'm sorry if you open it and realize you don't care lol...
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EVOLUTION.
basically, evolution works the exact same way in my furry universe(s) as it does in real life. animal species come and go and most extinction events happened pretty much at the exact moments.
i haven't thought too much about how/when their bodies formed - and i don't care that much because it's really, really not that important to anything - but i imagine it's around the same time animals started walking on land but rapidly evolving a bipedal (and modern humanoid) body instead.
HYBRIDIZATION.
i don't really like the term "hybridization" / "hybrid" for human analogous species, because of a lot of real world implications that could mean, but i'm a little at a loss for what else i should call them.
either way, the way (furry) species works is probably more simple in reality than it is in my head but essentially the viability of offspring depends on the parents family (classification), genus, and species. the further away it is from the species, the harder it is to reproduce BUT if they're in the same family, they can still produce offspring together.
for example: a tiger can breed with another tiger and will have a high success rate of offspring. or the tiger can move on to a lion, and will have a harder time at producing but will still produce offspring with some difficulty. OR the tiger can breed with a house cat and both can struggle at producing offspring - but it's not impossible. however, trying to have babies with a moose or a bear is genetically impossible and will never produce offspring.
subspecies and breeds do technically exist, but in-universe they do not have "names" for these really. and if they did, they wouldn't have any reason to talk about it.
FERAL ANIMALS.
i haven't actually settled on whether or not i want feral animals in my world, because i like the idea of my OCs having pets but the thought of "how" those animals exist and everything doesn't make sense to me.
my solution was initially going to be pet-sized insects, but unfortunately i also have anthro insects as well. so right now, none of my furries have pets or animals in their world.
CARNIVORE FOOD.
this one's particularly tricky for me, just kind of because i hadn't thought too much about it. so because of that, i'm going to say this as more of a hypothetical rather than a definitive.
i think it's primarily down to culture in what carnivores eat; in some places, it might be considered taboo to eat actual meat, but in other places it might be considered bad to eat meat substitutes.
in my head, my main story is in a culture where it's mixed - meat and meat substitutes are both okay to eat, and it just depends on the individual.
i imagine meat farms as relatively humane, though i can't currently think of a way to describe the process of humane meat farming (especially in a way that doesn't make me sound insane).
OTHER SOURCES OF FOOD.
i know some people get weirded out by this, but things like dairy (milk, eggs, cream), honey, and even non-food things like wool and the like are still definitely around and are actively farmed.
BIGOTRY.
there is no species/breed (whatever) related bigotry within my world whatsoever. primarily because i'm a little white boy from the US, so i don't think it's my place to really talk about and try to formulate a story around.
i bring this point up primarily because i think people kind of... expect furry stories that are in-depth to have this sort of thing - but i personally think it's best for me to avoid trying to do.
other forms of bigotry, specifically the ones i face/faced (homophobia, transphobia, etc.), DO exist in my world but it's small scale and also not particularly important to my stories outside of backstories, character development, and situational interactions.
ANATOMY.
all of my furry anatomy might change in the future but everything i say here applies to the way i draw them currently.
all furries have, generally, normal human proportions. there are some difference between groups of species, but majority are within the same proportions.
most furries have digitigrade legs (i know unguligrade is different, but for the sake of simplicity i'm going to call it digitigrade), though there are a few (though rare) exceptions that do not.
right now, birds have feather attachments to all their fingers except the thumb, and this goes down their entire arm (similar to a bunch of different dinosaurs). this reduces their range of motion on their wrists in-universe, but not so much that it's nearly impossible for them to do most normal activities.
i was thinking of changing them to have no wings, as i haven't been able to figure out how clothing works or things like that - but i'm bird autistic and really like drawing wings, so...stumped there! (i'm against back wings in most of my furry universes and dislike wings as hands.)
antlers and horns are considered ornamental and may be removed (typically a doctor or some sort of specialist would do this) if the person sees fit. velvet-shed antlers are still a "gorey" mess, and people who are going through that may request to stay home (though this is also dependent on the individual as well as the conditions around the individual - like if they work or something).
as mentioned previously, "hybrids" (actual name pending) do exist! their anatomy may be different than what they describe themselves as. example: my character dallas is a zebu cow mixed with african water buffalo (though this is not from his direct parents), but he still prefers to call himself a cow rather than a buffalo.
FASHION.
clothes are typically the same as they are for human, though some may be modified to accommodate for different species. it is also considerably less taboo to go nude, but most still prefer to wear clothes.
despite what a lot of people think, tailors still aren't as terribly common in this world - and, honestly, i think a lot of furries would know a lot about taking care of modifying/fixing themselves as well (though full making clothes, i don't know).
shoes are seen as more fashion than function, but steel-toed boots and such are definitely still around. horse shoes also fit into this category.
an extremely common type of fashion, just like our world, is body modification. ear cropping, tail docking, declawing, feather plucking, and so on are pretty common. (i don't think i need to say this - but i'm not an advocate for those things, please don't do these to animals unless absolutely necessary like in sheep and stuff.) there's even more than what i just listed.
tattoos are also common, though the word "tatoo" in this case has three different meanings - branding (typically freeze branding), general scarification, or needle tattooing.
freeze branding and scarification are basically the same thing as they are in real life and are the more painful of the processes, while needle tattooing is more tedious.
needle tattooing is shaving down the fur to get to the skin (full bald, not even little hairs are allowed in the area), and then tattooed as one would in our world but with special inks and dyes that show in the fur pattern and not just on the skin. while this sounds like the easiest process, it is highly repetitive and prone to failure if not up-kept and consistently tattooed for once a week for a month.
fur clipping (like real world camels and horses and dogs, not like humans) is also a popular fashion choice.
fur dyes are another popular choice, but are not recommended for full body use. this does not really stop people.
BODY LANGUAGE.
there is a lot of body language that i COULD cover, but most of it boils down to real world body language in animals just translated on humans.
but there's a lot of different readable tail languages as well - most people are generally aware of what their tail is doing during conversations or on public transport, things like that.
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bitdemonic · 2 years ago
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date. april 8th, 2023
time. 8:59pm
—❝𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐃.❞
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𝐬𝐲𝐩𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬. FUTURESPOUSEPAC . . . a message from them.
𝐚𝐢𝐝. if the images above are too hard to differentiate between your intuition, use ‘pile 1, 2, 3, or 4’ for the choice selection instead. this reading has four piles. pic not included.
𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫. 18+ content—no minors. please remember, this post is just for shits and giggles. use the best of your discernment, pinch that grain of salt. and although i write under the impression that majority of this content’s viewers are women, i do read for feminine and masculine energies. if needed to, please flip the roles as reversed for an accurate message. hope this reading is useful, but not for plagiarism bitch. enjoy.❦
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𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞
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🃏 movement retrograde. sweetness retrograde. faith. rest.
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𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞
✞—. “i want it whenever i can get it. idc who’s around, i don’t give two shits about who’s looking. you’re the only person i ever want to have and knowing that i can have it? whenever we want? broad day, pitch black at night, at a park, at a concert, in the car it doesn’t matter and it never will. im going to shove my dick so far into you it’s going to come out of your mouth, that’s how carnal i am for you. my soul burns for you, im running off of petroleum gas at this very moment. you’re a diamond in the fucking rough. i mean, the faces you make when you cum are just . . . im so pleased, so blessed to have you as mine. to call you my lover, my one and only—not many have the pleasure of doing so, but i do.”
✞—. “i’d run ass naked up and down the street just to proclaim my feelings for you. you’re divine, you’re special, you make my crotch tight and my cheeks warm. i’d fuck you for hours upon hours, just to hear your moans. the same moans that remind me of the melody to a favorite song, the one i’ll keep on repeat because i never want them to end. keep your eyes open during sex, i want you to watch me have my way with you. to see the things i do to your body, the same things that make your insides twitch. moving back and forth, up and down, all around and through nirvana just to end it all in rehab. you’ll never want me to go, and i never will. i’ll even stay inside for a few minutes after, because i don’t want to leave us either.”
✞—. “i love you, but above that i lust eternally for you. love is nothing for us, but only because it was always a given—i’ll never stop loving you. it’s just during sex, the way i want to give all of my strength and trust into it, that’s something vulnerable for me. something different and new. but i’m willing to share that, without complaint too, because you’re mine. one person made special just for me, it’s natural that i show my appreciation. i want you to feel the way i feel for you, but through my actions more than my words. understand our connection with each act of pleasure i bring upon you, so on and so forth.”
✞—. “i’m always available to make love, to fuck—to tangle the sheets and wring out the perspiration from our bodies. making you cum constantly—endlessly, without losing stamina and without the thought of it having to end. scream for me, cry for me, moan for me—most of all, cum for me. do all those things and more doll, and promise to never stop.”
end.❤️‍🔥
previous reading
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𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐨
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🃏 passion retrograde. creativity. abundance. confidence.
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𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞
✞—. “give me that pussy. that sweet, tight, warm cunt. i want it all over me—my face, my thigh, hell even my stomach, i don’t mind my love. i’ll be gentle, whether that’s taking it nice and slow or hard and fast—whatever pace you need. don’t ever be afraid to tell me what you desire, or better yet, take control of me because it’s yours. my cock has your name printed on it in red ink, signed by yours truly.”
✞—. “the sight when you’re naked, the swell of your breasts down to the curve of your thighs, it makes my heart clench. even the tips of your feet get me going. never stop riding me, lock your legs around my waist and bounce on me all damn day. cum in my mouth, cum on my clothes, cum on my fucking face—i’ll eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. you’re gorgeous, but even more so outside of the sex. i don’t care what people say, i don’t give a damn about what they think either. it’s you that i want and i want you right here, right fucking now.”
✞—. “strip for me, baby. pull off your shirt as i watch with my thick cock in hand. unclasp your bra, slide the straps from your shoulders, let it tumble to the floor. i’ll gasp at the gentle bounce of your breast, in awe at their beauty, before attacking them with my mouth. you’re my inspiration, the blueprint of the world’s desires. made for us—we all want a part of your essence to bring home for bragging rights. want to see your body shine under the spotlight, showcasing as aphrodite’s favorite, nothing but glitter and gold. on display as heaven’s angel. stand just like that so you’ll never fall.”
✞—. “show the others what they’ll never touch, the parts of you that they’ll only be able to dream of. the same parts that i’ve been trusted enough to feel, to love and appreciate. yes . . . like that baby, don’t stop. show me how much of a blessing it is to have the emulation of a goddess at arms length. how much of an honor it is, keeping the place that’d be gone and up for grabs if you decided to cut me loose. i won’t fuck this up, at least not again. i know what i have, and i’ll always need it in order to survive. you.”
end.❤️‍🔥
previous reading
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𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞
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🃏 happiness. intuition. magic retrograde. illumination retrograde.
[tw — somnophilia] this is a channeled scenario from your person but if this theme isn’t comfortable for reading i suggest choosing another pile!
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𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞
✞—. “i watch you sleep, you know. it’s hard not to, hearing the soft breaths escape your lips as the shadow of peace drapes upon your face. bathed in the comfort of being home, you’re content at last. sleeping, embracing the idea that nothing could interrupt the state of winding down. nothing at all—except me. fingers tracing along the hem of your underwear, dancing across the design pattern, before pulling the band of them and letting it pop against your skin. it’s kinda funny—more adorable if anything, the flutter of your lashes at the slight sting below your abdomen.”
✞—. “i do this all the time, or at least when it’s essential. when we’re both aware of how much you need it, i’ll tease away the sleepiness until it’s desolate and gone. you’d never guess it was real, the heat from an open mouth as it warms the center of your panties. that same mouth, dampening the fabric before placing sloppy kisses along the seams. you’ll whimper, tossing and rubbing as you’re mindlessly wondering what the hell kind of dream is this? why does it feel extra real, and why are your hands thrashing to grip at the pillows?”
✞—. “mmm, mmhm,” will fall from the lush of your lips, disrupting the quiet of the night with natural reaction. you’re spurring me on, you little minx. encouraging me to keep going, urging me to fuck with your innocence some more. to turn vulnerability into utter rapture. and i will baby, of course i will. you’ll be conscious at this point, blinking more than twice for obvious reasons, seconds before your face turns into disbelief and tempted half lids. feels good, doesn’t it? i know it does, you don’t even need to utter a word—that moan’ll suffice.”
✞—. “teasing becomes eating, eating until we’re impatient for the rest, until you’re frustrated from not being stuffed full with the other parts. oh yeah, baby—you’re definitely awake now. up and at ‘em, waiting for me to finish what’s began, waiting for me to send your precious body to sleep once more.”
end.❤️‍🔥
previous reading
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𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫
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🃏 caution retrograde. trust. isolation retrograde. mystery.
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𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞
✞—. “our kisses, the taste itself, intoxicate the sobriety of my mind. your mouth, placing the sweetest of sins against mine. i’m left to fend for myself, to stand on trembling legs, stumbling around the reality that is us—proceeding with caution. those lips, diluted in gloss or whatever else that has them shining brighter than a star. drenched in angel dust, sprinkled from the fingers of God himself, urging me to come and get blessed. and blessed i be, for i never want these moments to end.”
✞—. “i can’t stop thinking about those sounds, those kitten mewls that send my brain cells into overdrive. can’t forget the trail of poised hands rubbing and wrapping around my neck to pull me closer. you’re incredible. the sweetest thing since candied apples, just as you’re hell on earth. damn you, damn this feeling. damn the air thickening around us, damn the temperature rising in time with our heartbeats. i feel my chest concave when you go, the same way i feel it inflate when you walk into the room. engulf me with your presence, take me and never let me go—don’t let the others take me from you.”
✞—. “i want to be attached to your hips just as my hands are, how they know where home is when they grab at your waist and pull you in. pushing you against my abdomen to give your own hands some room, to let them run over the hem of my zipper before pulling away. i’d offer to finish the job for you, to fling my shirt and pants to the floor, but that’d ruin the fun wouldn’t it? the fun behind the tease, the persona of being daddy’s girl—spoiled and bratty, naughty not nice.”
✞—. “hard as hell to tame, but that’s the excitement itself. eyes going slender and sultry, bottom lip being bitten, hair tossed to glance over one shoulder—i feel ill, hot flashes and stomach turns, because you’re my kryptonite. tbh, you take all my breath away and funnily enough, i don’t want it back. it’s an eye for an eye, swapping out my oxygen for your full devotion. as long as i’m with you, i’ll never need to breathe again. to have and to hold forever.”
end.❤️‍🔥
previous reading
1K notes · View notes
bruh-changbin · 1 year ago
Text
think pink
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pairing: pink power ranger!hyunjin x afab reader
genre: smut, stupidity (minors dni)
warnings: oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), public sex kinda?, unprotected sex (be safe), creampie, tit sucking, alcohol consumption, very brief mention of female masturbation
word count: 8.2K
a/n: IM AT A CONCERT DRESSED AS SLUTTY LIGHTNING MCQUEEN RN WOOHOOOOOOO (this is a queued post). happy horny halloween mofos! very glad to be posting this fc bc i was supposed to post it last year and then just gave up LMAO so she's been a long time comin. pls give her some love i would really appreciate it!!! hope you all have/had a super safe sexy halloween!
october is overrated.
i mean sure, there is something undeniably cozy and heart-warming about crunchy leaves and pumpkin patches and all of the other shit that comes in the ‘fall aesthetic’ package. but the truth is that october is too windy, halloween is overhyped, and pumpkin spice tastes like ass.
and who wants to go to a halloween party where you can’t dress like a slut because of the wind chill? no one.
“you’re too negative.” jeongin sips his starbucks while keeping his eyes trained on the road, his left hand gripping the steering wheel of his beat up silver volkswagen jetta that he calls his baby, his pride and joy.
“i’m just telling it like it is,” you shift in the passenger seat to face him, “there is no need for so much hype around a mediocre holiday. what’s there to enjoy about getting violently drunk and stuffing your face with so much candy you feel sick?”
“listen y/n, i don’t know what your problem is but halloween is fun.” he appears to stop there, but then keeps going, “and i will not have your sour attitude ruin my favourite holiday.”
you just scoff and gaze out the window at all of the trees now bursting with shades of red, orange, yellow. 
as if sensing something was off from your previous conversation, jeongin breaks the silence “you’re still coming to jackson’s party though, right? i don’t wanna go alone…”
“you won’t be alone,” you counter, “seungmin will be there.”
jeongin groans, “but seungmin’s so boring at parties. all he does is complain about how bad alcohol tastes and try to talk to people about books and films. i don’t trust a bitch that says films instead of movies! they always think they’re better than everyone.”
“that’s not true, seungmin’s fun at parties!” albeit you do admit you’ve only been to one party with seungmin where he went buck wild and were later told that that is very uncharacteristic of him. 
jeongin’s expression turns sour, and you start to take pity on him.
“innie, i promised you i’d go to this party. when have i ever broken a promise? i’ll be there, alright?”
with that his face softens, and he goes back to his regular chatty self. 
“knowing jackson it’s gonna be even bigger and better than last year. and you know y/n, i’m pretty sure hyunjin’s going as well.”
your heart drops to your stomach at the mention of his name.
you try to act as nonchalant as possible, “why would i care if hyunjin’s there or not?”
“because you’re in love with him.”
“i am not in love with him.”
jeongin scoffs, “please, i see those googly eyes you make every time you see him - scratch that, everytime his name is mentioned. and you sucked his dick.”
“oh so the second you put a guys dick in your mouth you instantaneously fall in love with him?”
“okay fine! maybe you don’t love him but there’s something there, no denying it,” he pauses, and then adds, “and i for one think it’s something worth pursuing.”
leaning your face against the passenger side window, you sigh contemplatively, “that ship has sailed, my friend. at this point hyunjin probably doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
“i don’t know y/n, he still seems a little…. hung up on you,” jeongin attempts to reason with you, “why don’t you try talking to him?”
“what the fuck would i even say to him? hey hyunjin, everytime i think of you i get really really wet. could you please bend me over the nearest hard surface and fuck me so hard i can’t walk for a week???!!!!”
“so vulgar and for what.”
you roll your eyes, “shut up jeongin. if you want me to get with him so badly, maybe… i don’t know, help?” 
“no way. you two are adults, you can sort it out yourself.”
“gee, what would i do without you and your incessant outpour of advice jeongin?” you tease, since jeongin is inherently quite awful at offering meaningful advice. 
“i give good advice!!! you just never take it,” your best friend scowls as he drives through campus, pulling into a parking lot located in the midst of all of your school's buildings. 
“sure innie, whatever makes you feel better,” you grab your tote bag off of the floor of the passenger seat and step out of jeongin’s car. as soon as you’re outside a brisk gust of wind engulfs you, the chill making its way through your sweater and making you shudder; you should’ve worn a thicker jacket.
jeongin does the same as you, slamming the driver door shut before grabbing his own stuff from the backseat.
“i’ll see you in a couple hours, kay? text me when your class is done,” he states before heading off towards to library, his broad shoulders protected from the frigid fall weather with a thick wool sweater and a puffy black scarf. the heels of his boots scuff the pavement as he trudges away, pulling out his headphones as he prepares for a couple hours of studying.
you make out in the opposite direction of your friend, heading towards the building where your lecture hall is located. all around you students are dressed in jackets and thick sweaters, scarves donning their necks and leg warmers wrapped around their ankles. the grey sky makes everything appear dull, spare for the bright coloured leaves that have been blown off the trees and crunch under the weight of your boots when you step on them. 
soon you make it to your lecture hall, revelling in the warmth of being inside as you slowly close the doors behind you and making your way over to your (un)official seat. ever since the amount of people attending lecture every week started to decrease, you staked your claim on a seat in your favourite section of the room and refuse to sit elsewhere.
after a couple minutes of waiting your prof begins class, delving into lecture without a hitch as you attempt to scribble down notes. however, just as you’re about to get into the meat of today's class, your focus is broken when a late-comer yanks open the doors to the room with full force.
in walks hwang hyunjin, and a small part of you dies inside. 
as the metal door swings shut behind him with a dramatic bang! you lock eyes with him just for a second before his gaze is averted to your professor who he gives a small, apologetic smile to. 
in your head you’re screaming don’t you fucking dare hwang hyunjin as he walks closer and closer and closer to where you’re sitting in the sparsely populated lecture hall. you roll your eyes so hard your head hurts when hyunjin chooses the seat almost directly in front of you (just a little off to the side so it looks like it was a total accident - fuck you hwang).
of course you knew that hyunjin was in this class as well, but he’s usually on time and usually sits far away from you, at the back of the lecture hall. today he just feels like being an asshole, i guess. 
hyunjin’s weird. he’s weird because he had the hots for you during the sweltering summer months, when jeongin rented a beachside airbnb for a week and invited all of his close friends - including you and hyunjin. he’s weird because he always applied sunscreen on your back and helped you cut up watermelon and sat beside you during bonfires. he’s weird because when everyone else left to go to the pier he encouraged you to stay back and yanked on your hair while you sucked his dick, bit your bottom lip with his front teeth, and fucked you so hard you saw stars. 
he’s weird because he now pretends that the two of you have no history and fucks with you on purpose by shooting you flirty looks when he sees you at get togethers or on campus but does nothing more than that. he knows that you think about him, but does he think about you too?
staring at the back of his ebony-haired head, you can’t shake the image of hyunjin on top of you, his puffy bottom lip pulled between his teeth as he fucked you into his mattress, out of your head. the needy whines and groans he emitted when his cock was down your throat are ringing in your ears; you cross your legs under your desk in a pathetic attempt to ease the ache you feel in your cunt that you hate yourself for. come on brain, we cannot be horny during lecture! focus!!!
the next few hours drag on and on and on as you force yourself to keep your vision trained on either your notebook or your prof, resisting the urge to allow yourself to gaze upon the man who occupies your thoughts almost 24/7 (which is so not feminist of you btw). 
ergo, when your prof finishes lecture 20 minutes early, you heave a sigh of relief. great, now you can gtfo and go finger yourself in the bathroom before getting jeongin to drive you home. but of course, a certain someone decides to ruin your plans by turning around and leaning against your desk, his dark chocolate eyes staring down at you mischievously. 
“are you coming to jackson’s party?”
is he talking to you? 
“are you talking to me?”
hyunjin looks around while the few other students surrounding the two of you scramble to pack their bags, “i mean, who else would i be talking to.”
“i don’t know,” you shrug, “anyone but me i guess.”
god this is so awkward. gag me with a spoon.
“you didn’t answer my question.”
“hmm?” you pretend to busy yourself with the task of shoving your pencil case into your near empty school bag.
“jackson’s party? you coming? jeongin said you were.”
of course he fucking did. because jeongin just loves stirring the pot.
“oh, uh yeah. i’ll be there.”
“what are you going to dress up as?” hyunjin clearly does not see how much you want to end this conversation - or maybe he does, and he just likes seeing you squirm. bitch.
“i don’t know yet.”
“the party’s tomorrow… and you still don’t know what you’re gonna be?”
“nope.”
“oh.”
hyunjin’s lips curl into a subtle smirk and you know he’s just dying for you to ask him the same thing, so you do.
“what are you dressing up as, hwang?”
his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek as he swings his backpack over one shoulder, “i guess you’ll just have to find out.”
and with that, he leaves you alone in the lecture hall with your professor, your half-packed bag, and your soaked panties.
.・:*◢▅◣Ξ◥▅◤Ξ ҉ ◢▅◣Ξ ҉ ◥▅◤☾*:・˙
back in jeongin’s jetta as he gives you a ride home, you complain about hyunjin.
“he’s fucking with me on purpose, i just know it. god! he’s such a…. just like a little…. WEASEL! he’s a fucking weasel.”
“come on y/n, he’s not that bad,” jeongin sticks up for hyunjin, who is also his friend, mind you.
all you do is wave him off, “you don’t know how it feels to be played by a man that beautiful, innie.” 
jeongin throws in the towel, and the two of you drive along the paved roads of your town in silence. as you continue to move along you soon find 
“that forest still gives me the creeps.”
”come on, you seriously still don’t believe in all of that ‘lost john’ bullshit, do you?”
lost john’s forest is somewhat of a fable in your town; folklore, if you will. for ages people have been passing around this story about how a tourist named john who was exploring the town wandered into that forest one day to never be seen again. there are some variations, of course. some people say that they’ve seen john out and about, or that john was actually a cult leader and if you go into the woods you’re bound to get sacrificed. no one knows if john actually ever existed, or if the story is just all horseshit used as a cautionary tale to keep kids out of the forest at night.
doesn’t make it any less creepy though.
you huff as you stare at the endless sea of trees you’re driving past, “it’s not that i actually believe in it, it’s just that those stories come from somewhere, you know?”
jeongin doesn’t seem to understand the point you’re trying to get across, “...so?”
“so there’s gotta be at least some truth to them, right? or else where did they come from?”
“i don’t know y/n, i think it’s all made up to scare kids.” 
the two of you sit in silence for a moment as you pass the last stretch of lost john’s forest before being surrounded by houses, apartment complexes and coffee shops once again. 
“hey, do you know what costume hyunjin’s wearing to the party?” 
as soon as the question passes your lips you regret it, and your regret increases tenfold when a devilish smirk makes its way onto jeongins face.
“oh! i thought you’d gotten over hyunjin, but here you are asking what he’s dressing up as for halloween. interesting!” 
“oh my god jeongin shut the fuck up!! it’s not like that, he was just being a twat when i asked him about it in lecture today,” you huff in annoyance over your friends antics. and for the record you’ve never said that you were over hyunjin, just that you aren’t in love with him. 
“sure y/n, whatever you need to tell yourself,” jeongin laughs, clearly thinking that he’s won this little scuffle, “you need to figure out a costume though.”
“ugh i know.” you scratch your head tentatively, “what are you going as?”
“a banana”
you can’t help the chuckle that escapes your lips. is he for real?
“what’s so funny?” jeongin questions, his brow quirked. 
“really? a fucking banana?”
“what’s wrong with that?”
“it’s a dumb costume, that’s what’s wrong.”
“it’s not dumb y/n, you just have no taste.”
“oh i have plenty of taste - that’s how i can tell your costume is bad.”
“it’s not bad it’s just- why are you being such a bitch right now?”
“did you just call me a bitch??!”
“yes i did because you’re being one!!”
“okay well SORRY for telling you that your costume is STUPID!!!”
“oh yeah? well in that case good luck finding a way to jackson’s party because I’M NOT TAKING YOU ANYMORE!!!”
“FINE!”
“FINE!!”
“FUCK YOU JEONGIN!!”
“FUCK YOU Y/N!!!!!”
in a fit of blind rage you grab your bag and shove you way out of jeongin’s car, a gust of wind ruffling your clothes as he speeds off as soon as you slam the door behind you. he is totally in the wrong here. you were just being a good friend, looking out for him by telling him that he’s setting himself up to look like a total idiot.
a squeal sounds behind you as jeongin floors it away from your house, the smell of burning rubber lingering around where his car was moments ago. what an aquarius you think to yourself as you head into your house, tossing your bag to the floor with a thump as soon as you’re inside. whatever, fuck jeongin! you’ll show him that you can have fun without him.
.・:*◢▅◣Ξ◥▅◤Ξ ҉ ◢▅◣Ξ ҉ ◥▅◤☾*:・˙
“okay, what about this one?”
seungmin is in your bedroom for the first time ever. 
which is weird, since the two of you have been friends for some time now. but hey, he’s here now eating chocolate covered pretzels while perched on the corner of your bed helping you pick out a costume for jackson’s halloween party.
“it’s cute.”
“... just cute? anything else?”
“i don’t know, you look… nice?”
you heave a sigh of frustration, “you know seungmin you really suck at this.”
he raises his hands in defence, “sorry! i’ve never done this before, you’re my only female friend.”
“yea yea whatever,” you command him to stop speaking with a wave of your hand, eyes flitting back and forth between the two costume options you’ve spread out on your floor and the one currently donning your body.
“so the final contenders are olive from easy a, slutty michael myers, and…” you look down at your legs, which are clad in the same black latex stockings you wore for halloween last year, “a sexy nun.”
seungmin shakes his head, “don’t do the last one, that’s blasphemous.”
“okay… sexy nun is out. i’m thinking easy a, you?”
seungmin ponders for a moment, his eyes squinted as he gazes at both the easy a and slutty mike myers costumes splayed across your carpeted floor. 
“i second that, your boobs will look killer in a corset,” he eventually attests before shoving a couple more chocolate covered pretzels in his mouth. 
you playfully smack his shoulder, “see min! you are good at choosing outfits.”
he just smirks in response before dusting the pretzel crumbs on his fingers off on his pants. with your arms full of discarded garments you head over to your closet, putting the clothing items of the unchosen costumes back in their place.
“hey can i ask you a question?” seungmin quips from your bed, where he’s now made himself comfortable by lying down and scrolling through twitter. 
“shoot,” you say while hanging up your navy blue jumpsuit.
seungmin pauses his scrolling to ask, “how come you didn’t ask jeongin to help you with this? i mean, not that i don’t like helping you or anything, but you guys are like always together.”
ugh. jeongin. just hearing his name makes you 
“we got into an argument,” you explain, opting to foresee the fact that said argument was over a fucking halloween costume, “he’s being petty, and i don’t want anything to do with him at the moment. and he keeps getting ”
seungmins brows raise momentarily before he responds, “it seems to me that both of you are being petty. also what happened with hyunjin?”
shit. you totally forgot seungmin isn’t caught up on everything that’s gone down. it’s his fault in all honesty, always opting to stay home instead of hanging out. 
“uhhh it’s nothing,” you decide now isn’t the best time to get into everything, “but hey, you’re supposed to be on my side here!”
“i am!!! but why don’t we forget about your drama and watch….. coraline. capisce?”
coraline does sound nice, so you tug on your pyjama pants and join seungmin on your bed to indulge in a fitting movie. 
.・:*◢▅◣Ξ◥▅◤Ξ ҉ ◢▅◣Ξ ҉ ◥▅◤☾*:・˙
today is halloween.
today is halloween and you’re dreading it.
seungmin slept over last night and the two of you have been lounging around all day in preparation for tonight, which you are not looking forward to, what with both hyunjin and jeongin being there.
neither you nor jeongin have reached out to the other, both too stupid to be the first one to text the other and apologise. whatever, he’s the one who was up your ass about coming to this party, you’re gonna prove that you don’t have to follow him around like a lost dog at every function.
when it comes time to get ready you blast deftones and the twilight soundtrack (much to seungmins dismay) while painting your face. when it comes time to get into your outfit you recruit seungmin to help, making him stand behind you and yank the ties on your lacy black corset. with each tug you can feel the boning hug your ribs and stomach tighter and tighter before the mere action of breathing is uncomfortable.
it’s just for a couple hours you remind yourself while pulling on your black mini skirt and grabbing a pair of black sunnies from your vanity. the glossy scarlet red ‘a’ that you hand stitched onto the left breast of your corset last night glints in the mirror as you examine yourself, perfectly content with the costume you managed to pull off in less than 24 hours.
“holy shit, how can you breathe in that thing?” seungmin says as he stares at you from the same place on your bed, seemingly taken aback by the resilience of your rib cage.
“it’s for fashion, min! this halloween is all about reprisal, and i wanna look damn good while doing it.”
“okay shakespeare,” he jests before grabbing his costume from where it’s laying on the floor. it takes him a mere minute to throw on his outfit, and you envy him for it.
once you’re finally sure that you’re ready you toss a few tequila shots back in your kitchen as seungmin watches, stating he doesn’t wanna get fucked up tonight (when does he ever) but relents when you ask him to do at least one shot to keep him warm on the walk over to jackson’s.
the bite of the night autumn air has you questioning if you even want to go when you step out onto your porch, the leather jacket you borrowed from seungmin hanging from your shivering shoulders. no, you can’t back down now. with a skip in your step you all but drag seungmin off of your porch, those tequila shots slowly but surely making their way through your system.
by now many of the trick or treaters that lined the streets earlier in the evening have retired to bed, leaving the rest of the holiday to be celebrated by the mature population. so, the roads are mainly empty as you walk down them, the pavement damp and shiny.
when you arrive at jackson’s place you take pity on his neighbours, for the music is so loud it seems as if it might trigger a small earthquake. a few scattered groups of people are on the lawn but most are inside, and you can see the party raging through the front windows. seungmin doesn’t say anything, just shoots you a knowing look before the two of you make your way inside.
immediately upon entering you’re almost ploughed over by a guy in one of those blow up t-rex costumes, who barely spares a look at you before running away and continuing to wreak havoc.
“i don’t think I’m drunk enough for this min, we should just go,” you turn to leave but to your surprise are stopped by seungmin.
“come on y/n, we’re already here. let’s just stay for a bit, ok?” he reasons, and you relent with a dramatic sigh.
out of the corner of your eye you catch of glimpse of someone waving to you; actually, waving to seungmin, motioning him to head over there. you see 3 guys, one in a red power ranger suit, another in a green and yet another in a pink. the puzzle in your brain slowly pieces together as you glance down at seungmins blue power ranger suit.
don’t tell me….
the 3 guys pull off their masks at the same time, and you’re met with the grinning faces of jeongin (red), hyunjin (pink), and their friend jisung (green). and just to add more salt on the wound, a boy name felix whom you’ve meet a handful of times shows up with his friends dressed in a yellow ranger suit. stupid! you should’ve know seungmin was a part of a group costume, who would dress up as a solo power ranger?
“why didn’t you tell me that you were doing a stupid group costume with jeongin and hyunjin!” you sock seungmin in the shoulder.
“i didn’t think it mattered!” he whines while rubbing the spot where you punched him.
“well it does, because now we have to spend the whole night with them,” you whine, although what you said isn’t necessarily true. you’re just salty because seungmin is supposed to be on your side in this whole debacle, and because jeongin decided to change his costume after your quarrel in his car the other day.
much to your dismay, seungmin wraps his bony fingers around your wrist and drags you towards the group of his friends, towards your doom. as soon and jeongin realizes you’re headed this way he departs, running up the stairs like the coward he is.
“seungmin! you made it!” jisung exclaims, clearly already a couple drinks in and clearly unable to sense the tension between you and everyone else.
“haha, yep!” seungmin answers sheepishly as you wrench your wrist free from his grasp. traitor!
you sulk as you listen to felix, seungmin and jisung talk about god knows what, probably video games or baseball or something stupid. it doesn’t help that you can overhear parts of hyunjins conversation with the girl that felix brought. thankfully, you’re blessed with the gift of being able to tune everything out if you so chose, so you stand there in silence and dream about going home.
it isn’t long until you can sense a looming presence beside you, and you snap out of your stupor to see hyunjin standing only a few feet away from you. the way his eyes scan the expanse of your body doesn’t go unnoticed by you.
“so,” he starts, arms widespread in a clear gesture to his costume, “what do you think?”
“geez, and people say girls dress like sluts. you know i can see your whole dick print, right?” you taunt,
“nothing you haven’t seen before,” he sneers while his eyes scan the length of your body, hyper focusing on the red ‘a’ sewn into your corset, “what…. what are you?”
how uncultured!
“olive from easy a. you know, emma stone’s character?” you state matter of factly, arms folded across your chest.
“never seen it.”
“really?” you ask, genuinely shocked since hyunjin seems to love fun cult classics. and because he’s friends with seungmin, who's seen about every movie under the sun.
“really,” he reaches over and picks up his drink from where he left it on the counter, “off topic, but a couple people about to play truth or dare in one of the bedrooms upstairs, you should come. or don’t, i don’t care.”
and with that the boy dressed as the pink ranger turns on his heel and walks away, patting whoever was dressed in the yellow ranger costume on the back as a signal to hit the road.
truth or dare? for real? didn’t realise this was a high school party.
you make your way over to seungmin, who’s busy playing with the pop tab attached to the lid of his mikes hard lemonade. it’s clear he doesn’t really plan on talking to anyone else all night, and is only here because you dragged him and he had a duty to fulfil as a result of being part of a group costume.
“they’re about to play truth or dare upstairs min, can you believe that?” you scoff, feeling your cheeks warm up as a result of the alcohol you’ve consumed.
seungmin makes a noise of agreeance, his lip quirking upwards as he responds, “for real? that game is just so…. childish.”
both of you nod before looking at the floor, you drawing small circles with your feet and seungmin playing with his pop tab again.
“but it is kinda fun, you know?” seungmin speaks up first.
“no you’re right,” silence again, and then you add, “should we go join?”
all seungmin does is nod and pass you your drink before the two of you make your way upstairs, opening to the door to a bathroom and accidentally interrupting some kind of fuck session before finding the correct bedroom and slinking inside.
.・:*◢▅◣Ξ◥▅◤Ξ ҉ ◢▅◣Ξ ҉ ◥▅◤☾*:・˙
a messy circle of people meets you when you enter, with everyone sitting on the floor or bed or chairs that were definitely stolen from the dining room. there aren't a ton of people, maybe 13 or so, but you seem to know everyone at least to a certain extent.
“nice costume, y/n,” jeongin practically emerges form the shadows to sneer at you, his voice laced with poison.
“thanks jeongin, it is a nice costume. what happened to you going as a banana? did you heed my advice and finally realise it was a stupid idea?”
all he does is scoff at this, choosing not to retort for the sake of looking like the bigger person.
“jeez, you guys are really pissed at each other, huh?” seungmin remarks while grabbing your wrist and dragging you away from jeongin in case you were about to reach up and slap him.
you don’t respond, but the sour look on your face says it all.
“alright guys, let’s get this started!” hyunjin announces to the room full of people, and all of the individual chatter dies down, “the game is truth or dare, as you all know, but we wanted to make it extra frightening for halloween. jeongin?”
jeongin stalks over to hyunjin, and you’re worried for what he has planned.
“if you do not fulfil your truth or dare, you will face a penalty. that penalty is doing a shot,” he takes a breath, “and showing the entire circle the last nude you sent.”
chaos. everyone erupts in anger at jeongin’s sick idea of a punishment.
“come on jeongin, that is so over the top,” one of the other girls in the room, chaeryeong, shouts above everyone else.
all jeongin does is raise his arms in a shrug, clearly loving playing the villain. ugh, you’re so over him.
“rules are rules you guys! we want to make sure people are following through on their dares! or truths, of course.”
he does have a point there, but still, his rules are a bit excessive.
the room quiets down and a few people decide to get up and leave, opting to not take the risk of exposing themselves if they get stuck with a particularly damning truth or dare.
“great, lets get this show on the road then,” jeongin acts as the ringleader and gets everyone settled, “who wants to go first?”
“me! i wanna go!” jeongins friend felix, the yellow ranger, throws his hand in the air.
“ok felix, truth or dare?”
the rest of the party can be heard as the room falls silent to let felix think, allowing him time to ponder since he was the first to volunteer.
“i’ll go dare,” he finally announces, and a chorus of ooooo’s sound as everyone waits to hear what felix has in store for him.
“i dare you,” jeongin ponders, trying to come up with something juicy and exciting, “to give us your best strip tease!”
everyone shrieks and felix hangs his head in embarrassment before standing up, clearly not backing down from the challenge. someone turns on pony by ginuwine and everyone shrieks even louder as felix starts doing his best strip tease, filled with body rolls and thigh grabbing as he peels the top part of his yellow power ranger costume off, exposing his defined abs and smooth back in the process.
after a couple minutes everyone agrees that he’s done enough and he pulls his costume back one before plopping back down in his seat, his cheeks and ears a bright cherry red. nevertheless, a triumphant smile is plastered on his face as everyone cheers for him having successfully completed the first dare.
the game continues without a hitch; chaeryeong confesses that her first wet dream was about hiccup from how to train your dragon, seungmin has to do a blowjob shot from between felix’s legs (you almost thought he was going to accept the penalty), and you find out that the weirdest place jisung has had sex was in a mcdonald’s bathroom.
suddenly jeongin locks eyes with you and you, knowing that he’s probably had one too many drinks at this point, feel a sense of dread settle in the pit of your stomach.
“y/n! your turn, truth or dare.”
you know that whatever you choose it’s gonna be bad, so you opt to bite the bullet and just go for it.
“uhhhhhh ok, dare.”
in that moment it looks as if jeongin has quite literally embodied the devil himself and you know that you’ve chosen wrong. all you can do is brace yourself for whatever dare he’s about to challenge you to - which you’ll have to fulfill for the sake of not looking like a loser.
“i dare you,” he smiles, “to spend 10 minutes exploring lost john’s forest.”
the room goes silent.
no fucking way. does he want you to die???!!
seungmin comes to your rescue, “come on jeongin, that's a little too intense for a game, don’t you think?”
“a dare is a dare! if y/n doesn’t want to do it she’ll just have to face the penalty instead.”
everyone continues to look around the room tentatively, waiting to see what happens next. most gazes are fixed on you, eyes with with worry and excitement, but some stare at jeongin.
“come on, do you guys seriously still believe in all of those bullshit urban legends? that stuff is just for kids, we’re all adults now!” jeongin speaks up and sips his beer as if to further prove his point.
“regardless of if those rumours are true or not, don’t you think it’s unsafe for y/n to be out in a forest this late at night? you know, alone?” this comes from hyunjin, and you’re surprised he’s sticking up for you.
only after hyunjin’s comment do you see jeongin’s tough guy facade start to waver, but he holds his ground, “y/n’s a big girl, she can speak for herself.”
suddenly everyone’s gaze is on you. dear god, why on earth did you come to this party??
“you know what, fine. fiiiine!!!! i’ll do it,” you declare as you stand up, adjusting your skirt that had shifted in place while you were seated. jeongin’s face deadpans, and that alone is enough to give you the courage
“wait, how will we know if she actually goes to lost john’s forest though? what if she just waits outside and then comes back in 10 minutes later?” jisung quips, and you’re tempted to reach out and slap him across the face. bitch.
“that’s a good point,” jeongin pauses to think, “ok fine, someone should go with her to make sur-”
“i’ll go,” hyunjin volunteers before standing up a little too quickly, which is evident in the way he wobbles slightly before catching his balance.
jeongin’s eyes nearly pop out of his skull at this; it’s clear he wants you to have the worst night ever, meaning being alone in a forest with a guy you have the hots for is strictly off the table “wait no, someone else should go.”
“why? i’m fully capable of escorting y/n to and from lost john’s to make sure nothing bad happens. besides, does anyone else want to volunteer as an escort?” hyunjin retorts before waiting expectantly.
the circle of people sit there, unmoving. after a few seconds seungmin slowly moves to raise his hand but a dirty scowl from hyunjin makes him freeze.
“right then, it’s settled. let’s go y/n” he states while grabbing your wrist and dragging you to the door of the bedroom you’re in.
you look back at jeongin over your shoulder, who clearly isn’t pleased. all you do is shoot him a cheeky half smile before following hyunjin out the room, down the stairs and into the night.
.・:*◢▅◣Ξ◥▅◤Ξ ҉ ◢▅◣Ξ ҉ ◥▅◤☾*:・
standing at the edge of lost johns forest, you think you might pass out.
but you neglect to tell hyunjin that.
“you ready?” he asks while shooting you a comforting look, his words have no trace of teasing or mockery.
you look at the vast expanse of trees in front you. it looks as if it stretches on forever and ever, and you gulp as you think of all the possible things that could be inside, waiting for you and hyunjin to enter before striking.
that being said, you’d rather do this with him than do it alone.
“let’s just get this over with. the sooner we’re done here the sooner we’ll get back and I can strangle jeongin.”
hyunjin laughs before offering you his hand, which you take and pray that he doesn’t care about how shaky you are.
making sure to take note of the time on your phone you head into the forest, feeling twigs and leaves snap and crunch under your feet. the exposed skin on your legs stings as a cold gust of wind blows, the trees offering minimal protection.
“you know if you ignore all of the creepy stories about this place, it’s actually quite nice. so quiet…” hyunjin aloud.
“if you’re trying to make me feel better, it’s not working.”
a branch snaps, an owl hoots, you exhale shakily. it’s dark, but the scarcity of leaves still attached to their trees allows for just enough moonlight to seep through the spindly branches. soon enough, the two of you stumble upon a small-ish clearing, opting to stay there as opposed to trekking further and getting lost.
“jesus I hate this, how long has it been?” you ask hyunjin while rubbing your arms in an attempt to wake them up.
“it’s been…. 2 minutes.”
that’s it. this is the worst experience of your life. you are actually going to kill jeongin.
“come on y/n, it’s not that bad in here. at least you have me!” hyunjin tries to comfort you, but you can tell that he’s nervous just like you are.
“please, as if you’d be able to protect me from anything,” you tease, but when hyunjin doesn’t bite back you worry that you’ve struck a nerve, “i am glad you’re here with me, though.”
“i would’ve volunteered to go with anyone, honestly.”
“really?”
“...no.”
a small smile creeps it’s way onto your face at this, and not matter how hard you try you can’t wipe it off.
“sooo you volunteered to go with me because…?”
“because i have…… feelings….” he looks at you, and then looks at the ground, “for you….”
the word that comes to mind upon hearing hyunjins confession is satisfying. satisfying because you’ve known that he’s had feelings for you since the summer, he’s just a shithead. so, you feel satisfied.
“and i know it’s probably unfair for me to say this but i can’t stop thinking about you and i know that this is also the absolute worst place to confess but-“
he doesn’t say anything after that.
he doesn’t say anything because you press your pout against his, breathing in his scent as he kisses you back.
no words need to be exchanged as you briefly pull away before going in for more, hyunjins lips your absolute favourite drug that you crave day and night. a groan escapes hyunjins mouth and he moves to wrap his hand around the back of your neck, his fingers tangling in and tugging on your hair as he pushes you yo against a nearby tree.
with your head tilted to the side you weasel your tongue past his slippery teeth and into his mouth, sliding against his own. both of you parrot each others moans of desire as your hands explore the expanse of hyunjins back and shoulders.
you feel so cold when he pulls away from you, like your only source of heat has been ripped away from you eternally. when you pry your eyes open, not before a dissatisfied huff passes your lips, you see hyunjin descending.
it appears as if he sinks to his knees in slo-mo, eyes never leaving yours as he kisses his way from your knee to the inside of your thigh. with deft fingers he reaches under your skirt and hooks the waistband of your panties around his fingers before dragging them down your legs and tossing them to the side, soon to be forgotten.
“hyunjin,” you breathe, voice already shaky as you anticipate what’s to come (you). he doesn’t say anything, just grabs your right calf and swings your leg over his shoulder, his face now a mere few inches away from your pussy. it feels as if you’re on display for his eyes only, forced to watch as he sucks and nips at your thighs while leaving dark bruises and bite marks in his wake. slowly be surely he inches closer to the place where you want- no, need him most.
when the tip of his wet, pink tongue drags through your cunt your breath catches in your throat. he continues to offer only feeble kitten licks, and soon enough it has you craving more and more, his actions not enough to fulfil the growing desire you can feel boiling inside of you.
with outstretched fingers you reach out and grip a fistful of his raven hair, pulling on it and all but shoving his face impossibly closer to your wet, hot pussy. the tip of his nose nudges your clit, and the one leg that you’re balanced on almost buckles.
“you taste so good, honey,” hyunjin confesses while lazily dragging his fat tongue through your pussy, “sweet like candy.”
“ ‘s just for you, hyun,” your heads rolls back between your shoulders, resting on the tree behind you. for the moment you elect to forget where you are, focusing on the cute boy between your legs instead of the darkness of the surrounding forest that threatens to swallow you whole.
hyunjin cycles between sucking at your clit and teasing your hole with his tongue, a combo which, although has you seeing stars, is not enough to bring you to release.
“more, jinnie,” you plea, the pet name rumbling past your lips before you can catch yourself.
“you need more, baby?” hyunjin coos while gazing up at you, his eyes foggy and plump lips swollen and glossy. the hand of his that’s been laying dormant on your thigh moves to cup your pussy, groping you before he slides his index and middle fingers through your folds.
in one deft movement he slips his digits inside of you, his tongue poking and flicking your clit at the same time. your needy whines grow louder and echo around you, the goosebumps on your skin now from arousal and not from the cold.
hyunjin continues to finger you at a relaxed pace, his mouth traversing between stimulating your aching clit and nipping at the sensitive skin of your upper thigh. his eyes never leave yours however, and you feel as if you might slip and fall into his gaze, unable to escape.
“one more?” god you sound pathetic, but you don’t care at this point, “please?”
wordlessly, hyunjin slips his ring finger into your cunt. the stretch is subtle but has you yearning for your sweet release. the grip you have on his hair tightens, and you rock your hips against his face to help bring yourself closer and closer to your orgasm. the moans that leave his mouth in response to you tugging on the roots of his hair vibrate through your core, leaving you a stuttering, whiny mess above him.
“jinnie, I think i’m gonna-“ a desperate moan escapes you when hyunjin wraps his lips around your sensitive bud once more, sucking in tandem with the thrusts of his fingers.
over the volume of your own moans and the howl of the wind you can hear the squelching of your wet pussy as hyunjin finger bangs you until you cum all over his hand, his palm and chin sticky with your juices.
your heart drums in your chest as you slowly come back to earth, the warm body between your legs now gone and standing in front of you.
hyunjin looks as if he wants to eat you, swallow you whole, with hair a mess and cheeks splotchy and pink. through his costume you can see he’s hard, his cock begging to be released from the fabric prison it’s confined to.
he kisses you again and you can taste yourself on his tongue, fighting off any embarrassment you feel with the justification that getting your pussy devoured by him felt so fucking good.
your tongue slots against hyunjins inside of his mouth, and you feel him move to push his pants and briefs down to allow his cock to spring free. his sticky warmth mouth is pulled from yours and you watch as he pumps his dick several times to get himself fully hard.
his cock is long and veiny with a slight curve that has you practically drooling all over his feet. of course you’ve seen it before, but it’s been so long and you’ve thought about it so much.
his tip is a dark shade of pink as he moves to drag it through your cunt, allowing it to kiss your still sensitive clit which sends a jolt through your body. not wanting to waste any time, hyunjin wraps the same leg that was sling over his should a few moments ago around his waist. with one hand grubbing your thigh and the other gripping the base of his cock, he slowly sinks into you, allow you to feel every inch of his aching shaft.
“oh god, hyunjin,” you cry, feeling so full after months and months of feeling so empty. hyunjin breathes through his nostrils, attempting to control himself as he bottoms out in your tight hot pussy.
the bark of the tree that you’re pinned up against scratches and digs at the skin of your shoulders and upper back but you’re too drunk on hyunjin to care. all you care about is his cock that’s fucking into you, his tongue that’s tracing your jawline, his curious hand that reaches into your corset and pulls out your breasts.
his mouth makes its way from your neck down to your chest, where he deftly takes your left nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it before giving the same treatment to the other.
your legs cramp as you spread them apart as far as possible given your current position, doing your best to accommodate hyunjins dancer hips. his hips that move so fluidly against you, rolling upwards and grinding against your cunt with each thrust.
every time hyunjins tongue rolls across your tit you can feel it in your core contributing to the small fire that’s growing with every move he makes. one of your hands finds purchase in his hair again and the other finding stability by gripping his shoulder,
“jinnie, hngh-“ you stutter and whine embarrassingly, thankful for the fact that there’s no one around to hear how desperate you are. hyunjins pace picks up and he pumps his cock into you faster, harder, deeper. your limbs turn to jelly as he fucks you with no restraint.
“fuck y/n, I’m so close,” is all he can pant after pulling himself off of your tits, the hair at the base of his neck damp with sweat despite how cold it is outside. the walls of your pussy flutter around his cock as you’re on the brink of your orgasm, waiting to feel your release wash over you.
it only takes a few more thrusts to send you spiralling, creaming all over hyunjins cock as he finishes inside of you. his cum feels hot and heavy inside of you and it warms you to the core on this cold fall night.
the heat you feel in your cunt slowly begins to wane, and you whimper when hyunjin pulls his now soft cock from your hole that’s dripping with his cum; some of it sticks to your thighs.
with a chaste kiss to your lips hyunjin pulls away, fixing himself up before helping you adjust your corset and reaching down to grab your phone that had fallen to the forest floor.
the blue screen almost blinds you when you turn it on, and you’re met with several missed texts from jeongin.
[12:55] jeongin: okay y/n it’s been like 15 minutes you guys can come back now
[1:03] jeongin: seriously y/n it’s been a while, people are starting to worry
[1:04] jeongin: not me of course, but other peopl
[1:16] jeongin: ok y/n this isn’t funny anymore, i get that you’re pissed at me but seriously you guys need to come back
[1:19] jeongin: unless…. the lost john legends are true
[1:19] jeongin: oh god
“this shithead,” you mutter, opting to leave him on read for now
you glance at hyunjin, who’s standing there awkwardly, looking at the moon through the branches of the trees.
“do you wanna come back to my place? i don’t really feel like going back to the party,” he says in a way that seems like he’s bracing himself for you to say no, “we can watch easy a? you know, since i’ve never seen it.”
you stretch out your hand, encouraging him to take it.
“yea, I’d like that,” you say before the two of you make your way out of the forest before strolling down the street under the yellow glow of the moon
.・:*◢▅◣Ξ◥▅◤Ξ ҉ ◢▅◣Ξ ҉ ◥▅◤☾*:・
a/n: apologies if the smut seems rushed I wrote it on a bus lol
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youresodarkbabe · 7 months ago
Text
i'm listening, ready to learn (prof!a. turner x reader)
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smut.
warnings: prof!al x reader (yes this is influenced by the recents), age gap, piv, dom-ish al, oral (f!receiving)
word count: 2.6k
took me a while but im back!! hi :)
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
"it's definitely not the worst i've seen."
those four words were like a knife to the heart. you put everything you had into those pictures, worked on them for weeks, refining, editing, reshoots, and that still didn't please him. you gave him everything you had to offer, and it still wasn't enough. you could cry on the spot, but his voice pulled you out of your mind's abyss.
"do you want a second chance? i mean, i think you could do much better than this, not to be too harsh."
you had to stop yourself from showing your sheer happiness, you couldn't believe this. you try your hardest to compose yourself before speaking.
"yes, please," you mutter quietly, your voice coming out almost like a squeak. he found it endearing.
he sets your portfolio on his desk and stands up, sliding it over to you with a smile before taking a sip of his coffee.
"tell me if this crosses a line, but would you like to do the shoots at my studio? i have everything you need and more there, i think it'd be very useful."
reality hits you hard. you and your professor at his studio, all alone. if you weren't already trying to conceal your emotions, you were definitely doing it now. ignoring the heat pooling between your legs, you nod, not trusting yourself to speak, afraid of what would come out of your mouth.
"alright," alex grabs a pen from his shirt pocket and jots down his phone number and studio's address on a post it note and sticks it on the top of your portfolio, "how's this friday? is 7 good for you?"
you nod again, eyes fixed on his. "'s perfect, sir."
the sun was shining perfectly, his eyes illuminating like gold. he was so, so beautiful and it took everything you had to break that eye contact and walk out of the class.
come friday, and you're already panicking. you can't find any of the things you need, your reference pictures are shit in hindsight and your roommate had accidentally broken the lens you needed for your camera. regardless, you show up to the studio twenty minutes too early with all you could carry, hoping he wouldn't hate you for your lack of equipment.
he opens the door in a red shirt, a few buttons undone. you couldn't help but picture what he'd look like with the shirt off.
"you're early, doll," he lets you into the studio and shows you where to keep your stuff. "i would've rushed a bit more when cleaning if i knew you'd be so early."
your cheeks heat up as you take in his words.
"i can always come back later?" you say, almost immediately packing your stuff back up, only for alex to stop you with a hand holding your wrist firmly in place.
"it's fine, promise. just a tad unexpected."
he gives you that classic smile and all the worry in your heart seems to melt away. he asks if you'd like some space to set up, and as much as you want to spend time with him, you know it'd be best if you focused, so you say yes. alex darts off to the other side of the room where you see him fiddling with the portfolio from your previous meeting. you tear away your focus from him and set up your camera and all you'd need for the shoot.
he shuts it abruptly, the sound making you jump, his voice instantly soothing your mind.
"did you bring any references?"
shit, you think to yourself. you hated the references you originally had, you left them at home. you had absolutely nothing.
alex tuts, setting the portfolio back down and walking to you, tapping your chin so you'd look up at him, which you do.
"i can see you gettin' in your head. you don't have to worry, we can figure this out, okay?"
"okay."
you and alex stand there for a moment, faces so close, almost close enough for you to close the gap— to kiss him, but you choose against it. alex again seems to be the one to snap out of the haze first, taking a few steps away, clearing his throat. "i, uh, have some pictures you could use as a reference."
right. the photoshoot. that's why you're here.
"you wanna go get 'em for me?" alex asks as he sits down on the chair in front of your camera. you say yes, waiting on him to tell you where to go.
"just that shelf there, the gray one."
you hold the hefty photo album in your hand and hand it to him, standing behind him, leaning in to look at the pictures.
calling them gorgeous would be an understatement. you had been passionate for photography for as long as you could remember and you had never seen pictures that had captured the human essence that beautifully.
alex points at a specific picture and looks up at you, beaming.
the photograph looked simple enough, but there was something to it, something that made it transcend normalcy, the model looked ethereal. it was in black and white, and the standout feature was the bright red lipstick mark on the model's neck, you could immediately picture alex like that, he'd look so perfect.
you try ignoring how wet just the thought of him like that makes you and as if on cue, he says your name, you look away from the picture and back at him.
"i can see the ideas in your eyes, i think we'd best get started, hm?"
you let out a shaky breath and are about to go to your camera, before you pause and turn to him.
"am i.. do i have to take the pictures of you?"
and for the first time, you see a blush grace your professor's perfect face.
"that was the plan, yeah. we can always find a different picture to replicate if you want, it's fine, i don't mind—"
"no! i mean, it's fine. i'm alright with taking the pictures of you, sir."
alex runs a hand through his hair and licks his lips, "alright, okay,". he smiles at you again, making your heart melt and you feel yourself getting soaked. "think i should change this shirt, though. what do you think, sweetheart?"
based on the look on his face, you can tell he didn't mean to let the nickname slip. you'd be lying if you said you didn't love the way how naturally it rolled off his tongue, though. his accent made the word go straight to your core.
"you can change if you'd like."
he mumbles a quiet 'yeah', and goes off into the corner of the room, unbuttoning his shirt as he walks, unaware of how your eyes are fixed onto him. he slips the shirt off and turns to you, holding two shirts in either of his hands.
"black or white?"
you eye him up and down, replying despite being completely distracted.
"white."
he puts the shirt on as he walks back to the seat, you avoid eye contact because who knows what he'd say if you kept staring.
he sits down and you look back down at the reference picture, one question filling your mind.
"sir?"
he hums in response, fixing the camera slightly.
"the lipstick mark. do i have to—"
"if you want. it's not needed, you don't have to."
the second you hear alex say you can kiss him, you grab your red lipstick and apply it, not noticing how enamored alex is. he watches on as you swipe the lipstick along your bottom lip, wanting nothing more than to feel them against his, but at the same time, terrified that you don't see him the same way.
you stand in between alex's legs, one of his hands on your waist as you lean in and press your lips to the side of his neck, under his jaw. you hear his breath hitch as you pull away, the grip on your waist getting firmer.
"it doesn't look good, can i redo it?" you ask, just so you could kiss him again. alex nods and hands you his old shirt to wipe the lipstick off with. you kiss his neck again, this time with your lips parted, your teeth lightly grazing his pulse point.
alex's eyes fall shut and his mouth hangs open, a quiet groan gracing your ears. with his eyes still shut, he moves his other hand to your waist, pulling you closer to him. "that one good enough for you?", he asks, his hands moving to your back, wrapping around you.
"no, i think i need to kiss you again." you mutter, dipping your head even closer to his. alex doesn't hold back, this time. he leans in and kisses you, standing up and pulling away to kiss your cheek, laughing at the slight red tint he leaves.
"'m i right in assumin' my lips are red too, now?"
you nod as you tangle your hands in his hair, kissing him again, deeply, tongue and teeth clashing with no regard for anything but each other.
alex's hands slip down to your thighs, tapping on them and instinctively you jump into his grasp, letting him carry you with his hands planted firmly under your ass. he pulls away again, dipping his head to your neck, sucking, biting, licking— anything that makes you feel good. you feel how hard he is through your jeans, and you grind against him, making him moan along your collarbone.
"d'you wanna go to my room, baby?", he asks in between kisses. your mind is too overwhelmed with him to respond, so you just tug on his hair, hoping he'd take the message, which he does.
you can barely focus on where he's taking you, working on unbuttoning his shirt, not realising what alex takes with him into his room.
he lays you down on his bed, it dipping when he settles on his knees by your side, letting you unbutton his shirt. he shrugs it off, smiling at how you look at him, completely obsessed with you. he slides his hands under your shirt, waiting for you to let him know it was okay to take it off, which you do with a moan. you're grinding against his thigh now, letting him take your shirt off. while he's there, he also takes your bra off, swearing under his breath at the sight of your tits. he cups them, twisting your nipples between his fingers, watching as they harden, taking one into his mouth.
he sucks on it before pulling off with a pop, kissing all over your chest until he reaches the waistband of your jeans. he undoes the button and pulls them off slowly, along with your soaking wet panties, both joining the growing pile of clothes on his floor.
alex runs a finger through your folds and pops it into his mouth, humming as he tastes you.
your hips roll into his as you whine, "sir, i need you, please," you begged, and alex simply couldn't say no to you.
alex strips down fully in front of you, and just the sight of his cock makes you squirm. he was bigger than you'd imagined him being. trying to convince yourself that you could take him, you watch as he slides back in between your legs and places his arms on either side of your head. you can't help yourself from reaching out for his cock, stroking it and playing with the tip. his arms almost give in as he groans straight into your ear.
he moves one of his hands to pry yours away from his cock, "if you pull somethin' like that again, i'll make sure to leave you here, just like this. got it?"
the harshness in his voice makes you clench around nothing, you nod rapidly, biting your lip to keep quiet.
"good girl," alex mutters as he aligns himself with your aching hole, pushing in as slowly as possible, both of you moaning as he bottoms out. his hand goes to your clit, rubbing it in figure eights as slowly as possible as he pulls out almost completely, only to slam back in.
your hands go to his back, nails digging into his skin as he thrusts. he had a plan— he was going to take it slow, be as gentle as possible— but it all went to shit the second he saw the way your tits moved with every thrust.
he speeds up, going faster with every thrust, eyes flitting between your face and your tits. his fingers work your clit like magic and your back arches into him, tits pressing against his chest as he hits the perfect spot. you moan his name loudly, biting into his shoulder to muffle your noise. he strokes your hair softly, slowing down just a bit to kiss your cheek.
"feel good, princess?" he asks, his voice sweeter than sugar.
"so, so, so good, fuck—" you feel yourself getting closer and closer and alex can feel it too. you clench around him before you see white, the pleasure of it all taking over as you cum hard. alex fucks you through it, getting closer and closer to his peak.
just as he's about to cum, he pulls out, slightly too late. his cum spurts all over your thighs, stomach and cunt, but you're too fucked out to care.
"that was so good, love, you did so, so well for me."
he kisses your collarbone again, moving lower and lower, eventually settling with his face in between your thighs. he pushes the cum off of your stomach and thighs and into your cunt with his fingers, twisting them inside you. surprised, you tug on his hair, pulling him to look at you.
"i got you, good girl, don't worry, okay?"
you nod as alex pulls his fingers out and slides them into your mouth, making you suck them clean— which you do.
he kisses your inner thigh before finally licking a stripe up your worn pussy, making direct eye contact as he does so. his lips attach to your clit, teeth grazing against it as he flicks it with his tongue, eventually moving his thumb to do that job for him. he slides his tongue into you, tasting you as best as he can, moaning into your cunt. the vibrations drive you crazy, hips bucking into his mouth as he licks into you relentlessly.
his nose nudges your clit as you feel your peak getting closer once more, legs wrapping around his head as you cum again, letting him clean you up with his gentle kitten licks. alex looks up at you through his messy hair, laughing as you pry him away from your overstimulated cunt. he eventually gives in, moving away and kissing his way back up to your face.
the two of you sit there in silence for a while, the only sounds you hear is alex's quiet breathing as you run your hands through his hair.
"'m sorry," he mumbles against your lips. "you're my student, this isn't right, i shouldn't have—"
you press your lips against his once more, softer this time, less starved, less desperate. you kiss him as if you can see more of these kisses coming your way in the future.
"i can see you getting in your head, alex." he chuckles at the callback to what he had told you earlier, hiding his head in the crook of your neck. "i want this to work. i think if we tried, and if we're careful, it will."
alex takes a deep breath in, sitting up next to you, gently stroking your stomach as he presses another kiss to your neck.
"it better work, doll."
you feel yourself starting to drift asleep, only waking up to the feeling of alex's body leaving yours.
"what are you doing?" you ask quietly, voice too hoarse speak normally.
alex grabs what he took with him earlier, that object you couldn't quite make out, and waves it in front of your eyes. that fucking camera.
"just stay still, love," he says as he snaps a few pictures of you, smiling at the stills.
"so.. are those getting me my A?"
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
anyways.. sextape fic soon!!
300 notes · View notes
spiderlandry · 3 months ago
Text
Secrets Kept — Ethan Landry
in which you have a secret, and it’s not what ethan thinks.
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Pairing: Ethan Landry x Spider-Woman!Reader (she/her pronouns used)
Warnings: minor gunshot wound, kind of escalates quickly?, mention of reader having no family (other than aunt may), slight angst, fluff, no ghostface (previous movies can still be canon i think), somewhat dialogue-heavy, mentions of Across the Spider-Verse events
Word Count: ~9k
Author’s Note: hey everyone, i do wanna apologize for promising to come back and then just. not. so im sorry for that! i have had some health/life troubles recently and long story short i won’t be releasing anymore fics after this. (i am not dying, dont worry, my energy just isnt the same). i also realized i just do not feel as passionate about writing as i used to. thank you for sticking with me, and i will keep all my fics up. for unfinished series i’ve written, anyone is free to write continuations if you wish. thank u so much again for making me feel so welcome here!!! feel free to talk to me in my inbox as i’ll be checking in periodically. and if there’s any interest, i’m willing to post unedited wips.
i guess i've come full circle because this fic was the reason i created this blog. it was unfinished so i never did post it, but i finally got some energy to do it! so enjoy (hopefully)
-
New York had been your home for a long time. All your life, actually. But sometimes, the rowdy, noisy city was suffocating.
However, swinging through the city, air resisting against your skin as you picked up speed—lifted the weight off your shoulders.
You changed in a secluded alley on the outskirts of the busyness in the big apple, not risking any neighbours seeing you go into the window of your apartment. The subway was crowded as it is all hours of the day, though you didn’t mind too much.
Closing the door behind you, you dropped your bag on the couch and looked for your roommate. “Quinn?” Your voice travelled throughout the place, bringing your roommate to her feet and outside her room.
“Hey, d’you just get back?” She smiled, leaning against the end of the hallway. “How was patrol?”
You sighed, opening the zipper of your backpack to pull out the bagel you got for her. “Yeah, it was alright. Nothing exciting.” you threw it to her, and she almost dropped it. “Got you a bagel. Thanks for covering for me.”
She scoffed in mock offence, “What did I say about throwing things? I don’t have your spider sensor, or whatever. But this is appreciated.” She took a bite, and you laughed at her remark about the spider-sense.
“Noted, sorry again.” You returned her grin. You knew she loved being in on the secret. She took joy in knowing the real identity of the masked vigilante, often covering for you around your friends when you had to leave very suddenly during movie nights and hangouts. But above all, she was a concerned friend. Always. Patched you up when you came home late at night, warned you when you were about to make a bad decision, told you to be careful before you left.
You often told yourself not to get too close. Making connections as a vigilante wasn’t ideal. Anybody who knew your identity was in danger at all times, and it didn’t help that you had a huge crush on her brother. You never uttered a word to her, but you could sense her observing you when you hung out with the friend group—not in a spidey-sense way, though, you could just feel it, even without the supernatural sense.
“Anything interesting happen while I was gone?” You asked, flopping down on the couch and turning on the tv, avoiding the news channels.
“Ethan missed you. It was kinda gross, actually. Wouldn’t stop asking where you were.” She grabbed a drink from the kitchen, disappearing from view.
You furrowed your brows, “You know I never believe you whenever you say anything about Ethan, right? Especially concerning me.”
“Not my problem, spidey. I never lie.”
“I could give you ten examples,” you chuckled.
“I never lie to you. Obviously I lie to everybody else.” She came back from the kitchen with a look.
“Is it because I’m special?”
“Obviously.”
You weren’t the nervous type. Maybe it was after you were bitten by the spider, you never really knew, but one of the main reasons Ethan may not have realized you have any semblance of feelings for him was because you acted normal around him like you did everybody else. Your schedules were different, so you rarely hung out with him for school reasons, meaning the only times he spent time with you was during group hangouts.
Including now. At his and Chad’s tiny off campus apartment.
He watched you play chess with Anika, Chad watching from the sidelines during a blitz game. Speed chess. He knew how to play chess. Maybe he should play with you, a thought grazed his mind.
As if his sister could read him, she appeared beside him and nudged him closer to the scene. “You should play.”
He looked at her with shock, “No, I’ll lose. I don’t wanna embarrass myself.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Since when has that stopped you? You never back down from a chess match, remember?” He did remember, years ago when his father taught him after Richie left for college. “It’s because you like her, isn’t it?”
He huffed. To try and prove her wrong, he went over to the coffee table and watched as you lost to Anika—maybe he has a chance.
It was his turn, now. He replaced Anika on the seat facing you, rearranging the chess pieces. “Pretty boy wants to play!” Chad exclaimed.
“Chad.” Ethan said in an almost warning tone. “What did I say about the nickname?”
You reset the chess clock. He looked at you—you were smirking—which was a mistake, because he didn’t realize you started his clock.
“Shit,” he moved a piece, fumbling. You grinned at him, and he realized he’ll do anything to see it again.
You didn’t lose your confidence, moving chess pieces to counteract his own moves.
During the middle game was when it dawned on him he was fucked.
It became clear to him you likely knew how to psych him out—just by smiling at him.
Little did he know, you smiled at him because his thinking face was adorable. But on his side, you were smiling every time he glanced at you. He had no other choice but to believe you were doing it to make him blunder, because he couldn’t make you usually smile like that, could he?
Quinn watched her brother fumble around you. Her plan worked. At least for tonight.
You ended up winning the game with ten seconds left on your clock and three on his.
You high-fived Chad, much to Ethan’s dismay, but you offered a handshake to his direction which he gladly accepted to feel your warm palm in his. Worth it.
He was mustering up to ask for a rematch when your phone buzzed on the counter, which Quinn reached to get before anyone could in case it was something spider related. And thank god she did, because it was. She gave you a nod, reading the notification about something happening downtown. You cringed internally, knowing the burden of covering for you would fall on your friend’s shoulders again. She packed your things and handed you the backpack, whispering ‘be safe’ as you take it from her, so nobody else would hear.
With a closing of the door behind you, a conversation in the room began, thanks to a suspecting Mindy.
“Why does she leave sometimes?” The woman looked to the strawberry blonde for an answer, suspecting that she knew more than she let on. “She never tells us.” They all settled on the couch as Chad flicked through streaming services for a movie and Ethan cleaned up the chessboard. He didn’t wanna seem to interested, but he was definitely actively listening for Quinn’s answer.
“Her aunt calls her sometimes to run some errands,” Quinn prayed they wouldn’t pry. She saw this coming because you’d been dealing with more calls recently and patrolling more often. There really was no other excuse for the spontaneous leaving. It was easier to cover if you were already not there—you’d be studying, grocery shopping, napping, or literally anything else.
“Aunt May?” Ethan piped up. You mentioned her once, saying you needed to get eggs for her.
“Yeah, Aunt May.”
“She never talks about her family.” Said Anika.
Quinn didn’t want to say anything else. “She’s just private, I think.”
“You know more about her than us, though.”
“Because I’m her roommate.”
Mindy’s eyes squint toward her. Tilting her head, she pursed her lips. “I think you’re lying.”
“Why would I be?”
“She’s left before, at like, one AM. Why would her aunt call her at that time?”
Quinn shrugged, feeling a little bit of panic setting in. “Who knows?”
“Is she hiding something?”
“No.” The word was so quick and curt, and that was when she knew she fucked up.
“You’re definitely lying.”
Everyone else, watching the interaction turning from teasing to tense, Sam stepped in. “Guys,” she interrupted. “If Y/N wants to tell us something, she would. I’m sure she has her reasons.”
Mindy had been suspicious for a long time. Not out of malice, she liked to think she had a naturally curious personality. She’d kept an eye on you every time you left, half because she wanted to know, but also because she was worried. Had you not been friends for long enough that you couldn’t tell them why you left or was sometimes missing?
Ethan thought similar.
It got weirder when he saw a glimpse of your name on Quinn’s phone, a call from you that she answered. She went to the kitchen to answer it. Mindy saw it too.
Ethan wasn’t proud of it, but he followed, to stay right behind the threshold of the kitchen and the cold tiled floor, listening to the conversation.
The audio from your end was inaudible, but Quinn’s responses were: “Yeah?” … “How bad is it?” … “No, I’ll be there.” … “Who cares if they get suspicious? You’re more important.”
He heard the call end and rushed back to his seat, to Quinn’s obliviousness. She grabbed her things.
“I’m tired, guys.” She announced to the group, Tara pausing the movie. “I’m gonna go home.”
“Oh,” Sam replied. “Well, be careful. Do you have your pepper spray?”
“Yes, Sam.” Quinn almost rolled her eyes at Sam’s protectiveness, but she knew it was out of real worry.
After his sister left, Ethan began the conversation this time. “I think Mindy’s right.”
Everyone turned to him.
“Quinn was talking to Y/N.”
Tara sat up. “You followed her to eavesdrop?”
Ethan shrugged, feeling scolded.
“Not cool, dude.”
“What did she say?” Sam asked curiously, now hooked. If Ethan mentioned it, it must have been important.
“Like…” A pause, “Q asked ‘how bad is it?’ then said she’ll be there. And then, like, who cares if they get suspicious.”
“They’re definitely hiding something,” Mindy stated. “But why?”
“My sister never hides anything from me. She always overshares, and I always hated it. But now she’s not. It’s probably not…good.”
“Are we sure we should talk about this?” Anika piped up next to Mindy. “Maybe it’s a problem with their apartment—a leak, or something.”
“But…” Chad spoke, “what about the suspicious part? And why would Quinn lie?”
At the same time, at your and Quinn’s apartment, you bled out on a towel placed on the couch from a gash across your stomach. You winced as your friend applied the bandage.
“Didn’t I tell you to be safe? What happened? You had a good streak going there for a while.”
“Quinn, please.”
“Also, not to alarm you, but they’re getting really suspicious. Mindy asked why you leave all the time.”
“Shit, she’s never asked that.” Your head fell against the end of the couch in defeat. “Maybe I should start distancing myself.”
Quinn’s head snapped up. “You’re not serious.”
“Dead serious.”
“Don’t make me say it.”
“Say what?” You looked at her.
“It’s a really bad idea.”
“I’m trying to keep people safe. Keep you safe. Keep everyone else in the group safe.”
“What about Ethan?”
“Including him.”
“No—“ She scoffs, “I mean, you’d…break his heart.”
You had to stop yourself from laughing. “Quinn,”
“I’m serious.” And she actually was. She might have thought her brother was a nerdy asshole. But he was her brother. “And everyone would wonder where you are. You can’t avoid them forever.”
Sitting atop a random apartment building Monday morning, your sight helped you catch a glimpse of Ethan walking amongst a crowd of New Yorkers, bumping into people with a hand on the backpack strap on his shoulder. It had been a week since you talked to Quinn about possibly leaving the group.
After that, you stopped answering messages from them, much to her dismay. She still saw you at the apartment, looking at you with silent eyes hoping you’d realize your mistake and come around again. She knew you would.
Having everybody’s schedules memorized helped you avoid them—but Anika having the same major as you was your downfall. You skipped a class yesterday, and she texted the groupchat asking where you were.
Maybe it was creepy, but keeping an eye on your friends calmed you down. You wanted to be the one to make sure they were safe without having them try to do the same thing—this was why you never wanted to get close.
Unbeknownst to you, the group had a bet going.
Mindy thought you and Quinn were dating. Ethan thought something was up in your family life, maybe Aunt May was sick. Chad thought you were in a secret fight club (secretly worried). Anika was on board with Mindy’s theory. Sam refused to answer, and Tara was also silent.
Quinn came to your room that night. “Everybody’s worried about you.”
You looked at her with begging eyes. “I know, Quinn.” You sighed in defeat. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“Either you tell them or not. Your choice. But you can’t avoid it forever. Everyone’s been giving you space, but they’re still thinking you’ll come around.”
You stared at her, them looked away, at anything else.
“One more thing—“ she said before she left, “don’t patrol tonight.”
“Why not?”
“I’m gonna be over at Isaac’s place. If you get hurt, I won’t be there. He thinks I’m cheating on him whenever I bail.”
You would never ask her to give up a part of her life for you, she knew you would agree. But she also knew you would never miss patrol.
“Fine, I won’t.”
She left knowing you would.
You should have listened. God, you should have listened.
Your wound from a few days ago had already healed thanks to your abilities, but another power you had was how many times you got injured in a short amount of time. Especially in the same spot. This time it was a real stab wound on your side, not just a gash a centimetre deep.
You couldn’t let yourself bleed out on the alley to be found dead and your friends to find out your identity through a news announcement that Spider-Woman was dead. You were about to swing back to your apartment—
Shit.
You didn’t have your civilian clothes. The window on the fire escape was locked. Your door was locked. Nobody was home. Idiot!
One choice. You forced your feelings down, hoping this was for the best.
Ethan and Chad’s were the closest.
With your heart pounding in your ears, holding it together and covering your wound, you knocked on the glass.
Chad came out of the hallway to furious sounding knocking on the window, thinking maybe a madman managed to climb up the fire escape and was trying to break in.
He certainly wasn’t expecting the masked vigilante of New York City to be the one on the other side of the glass. And she looked to be bleeding.
You were thankful it was Chad who answered and not Ethan. He coincidentally had Econ tonight, so that was actually a plus.
Chad opened the window. “Holy shit!”
“Look—“ You were breathing rapidly, unable to keep it together. “I’m sorry about this—“ You tried to change your voice hoping your friend wouldn’t recognize it.
“I’m gonna carry you now, okay?” He put an arm behind your back and another under your knees, trying to avoid touching the wound. “What the fuck?” You heard him whisper as he set you down on the couch.
He rushed to the bathroom for the med kit. “You’re lucky I have this,” He set it down on the floor, rummaging through it. “I play college football, I mainly have it for sprains. I never used the suture kit, but hey, first time for everything, right?” He rambled. Just as Chad does when he was nervous, also evident in the tremble of his voice.
“I heal pretty quickly, I just need stitches to stop it from bleeding.”
“Thank God. I don’t know how to operate on organs. What if you have internal bleeding?”
“Won’t matter. I’ll heal. I’d never let you touch my organs.” You joked.
“Glad to know Spider-Woman’s funny.”
You were careful not to call him by name on instinct. “What should I call you?”
“Your saviour.” He got the tools ready, “Kidding. I’m Chad.”
“‘Kay, Chad. Need me to walk you through it?”
“Yes—yes, that would be good, actually. You have medical experience?”
“If you call getting injured experience, yes.”
“This is gonna be a long night.”
Tara did not believe her boyfriend.
She was at his apartment, sitting on his bed, and he was pacing and rambling about Spider-Woman coming to this very place last night and asked the vigilante to save her. She stared at him crazy.
“Babe, you have to believe me!” He jumped up excitedly, he couldn’t keep it in.
“You didn’t get any proof?”
“She was bleeding! I stitched her up! Not really a great time to ask for an autograph or a picture.”
She smiled at him endearingly. “I wanna believe you, so, so bad.”
He came closer to her, “Please do.”
“She just happened to come here when Ethan was away?”
“Yes.”
She laughed, falling back on the bed.
“Please, babe!”
With good timing, a knock on the door took them away from the moment.
Tara went to get it, Chad on her tail.
And surprise.
It was Spider-Woman at the door.
You never intended on showing up, but the guilt consumed you and your feet brought you to a bakery and you’d purchased a dozen cupcakes before you knew it. You wanted to leave them at his door, but not trusting his neighbours, you decided to hand them over.
He wasn’t alone. You should have expected Tara. It was afternoon, and Ethan had a class early morning (why he picked it that early, you’ll never get.)
Tara’s eyes widened at the sight, immediately turning back to her boyfriend stopping him in his tracks. “Is this a prank?” She pointed a finger up at him.
Him not knowing who’s at the door, “What? Who’s at the door?” He walked past her and was equally shocked.
You lowered your voice again. “Uh,” you cleared your throat, “thanks for saving me last night.” You handed over the box of cupcakes.
“Are you joking?” Tara went to lift your mask, but you backed away. “Who are you?”
“Not a prank, promise!” You exclaimed. “This is…actually…me. Just wanted to say thanks. If not for him, I would have bled out.”
“Prove it.”
“Prove what?”
“You’re her.”
At that, you shot a web to the ceiling.
“Shit,”
“I wasn’t lying, babe.” You heard Chad whisper to her. And directed at you, “Glad I could help, spider. Come back anytime!” Tara playfully slapped him on the shoulder as you walked away.
“I’ll keep that in mind!”
You still hadn’t told Quinn about what happened last night. That was because you hadn’t seen her anywhere. She must have slept in at her boyfriend(?)’s place.
As you got home, your phone buzzed.
Bruno Mars Security Team
Chad
everyone !!!!!!!! please come over tonight !!!!!!! i have to tell you all something !!!!!!! im spiderwomans best friend now
Tara
well…
Sam
???
Quinn
Oh god
Ethan
What lol
Then, a personal message notification from Quinn.
Quinn
Wtf happened while I was gone you have to tell me
You
I HAD NO CHOICE
Quinn
Please actually come over to Chad’s. We all miss you even tho its only a few days like we’re all worried
You
i will
Chad had never been happier to see you. “You’re here! And you’re early!” He opened his arms for a hug, which you took. “I missed you!” You’d always been a little sister to him, despite being a few months apart, it mattered to him.
“Sorry I’ve been MIA,” You sighed, pulling away. “Just—dealing with stuff,” you cleared your throat.
Just then, Tara appeared and ran into your arms. You squeezed her tight, knowing she gave the best kinds of hugs. Her arms wrapped around your neck, head resting against your shoulder, fitting like a puzzle piece. “Talk to us anytime, okay?”
You nodded, ending the hug and closing the door behind you.
“What’s this about Spider-Woman?” You inquired, grabbing a drink from the fridge.
“I have to wait until everyone gets here, you guys are gonna freak! And Tara is here to back me up.”
“Is that all I’m here for?” Tara teased.
“No, honey, you know it’s also because we’re using your Netflix login.”
You laughed at their antics as she flicked him on the forehead lightly.
Ethan happened to catch you right at that moment as he came out of the bathroom.
He was silent, but shot you a smile nonetheless, which you mirrored. He really did not know what to say. A feeling bubbled up inside him and he knew he wanted to talk to you alone.
You took your place at the very end of the couch, checking something on your phone as you waited for the others to get here. Unbeknownst to you, though, Ethan was looking at you trying to decide whether it was the right time to talk. Chad and Tara were whispering to themselves, betting on if he would actually say anything.
After a few seconds, your senses told you somebody was staring. Not in a dangerous way, or even remotely alarming, but you could still feel it. So you turned your head upward and saw the curly haired boy a standing awkwardly a few feet from you.
“What’re you doing?” You smirked, though not really in a smug way. It was more amusement than anything.
“Uh—nothing, I just—“ He wandered closer, sitting a few centimetres away from you. “I—we, the group, want you to know that we’re always here if you need anything. You can talk to us, alright? You don’t—just don’t deal with it alone.” He shrugged, “That’s it.”
Your face softened at his confession. Only if you could tell them without compromising their safety. “Thanks. I’ll…keep you posted.”
Ethan didn’t know what to do now that the conversation was seemingly over.
He was about to stand up until the door swung open, Quinn coming in along with Mindy and Anika who were carrying a few boxes of pizza.
“We’re here! And we brought food!” Mindy’s voice echoed throughout the apartment.
You were going to greet them but Anika beat you to it, seeing you on the couch and running over to hug you.
Mindy did the same, relieved to see you okay.
Quinn had a knowing smile on her face.
After the room settled down, Chad began to finally tell the story.
Needless to say, nobody believed him.
By the end of the night, long past midnight, you were getting ready to leave when Ethan asked you something.
“Are you going with Quinn?”
Mindy and Anika were waiting at the door, they both got a ride from your roommate since Mindy’s car broke down a few days ago.
“No, uhm—I think I’m gonna walk home. It’s only a few blocks.”
Quinn, upon hearing you, chimed in. “Really? You sure you don’t want to?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” You shared a look with her that only the two of you knew. You turned to Ethan, “Why?”
“Can I walk you?”
You were surprised, to say the least. “Really?”
“So you’re safe.”
Preparing to protest, you felt Quinn’s hand on your arm. “Let him.”
So you did.
The walk home was brisk. The streets were empty, the street lamps illuminating your synchronized steps with Ethan.
With him, silence was never awkward. It was just…quiet.
It was no secret that you were perceptive, especially to your friends. Quinn knew why, but the others thought it was just you, not something caused by the spider bite. Your senses were especially heightened around Ethan.
You would never mention it, but you knew his heartbeat sped up when he got close to you. You only caught it a few times on accident trying to listen for something else, but you’d never actually do it on purpose.
Lately it seemed he was spending more time with you since the night you came back (which was three weeks ago at this point). One, he would message you on Discord asking if you wanted to do a study call—you never failed to say yes (making Ethan giddy). Two, he began to ask you things about your life during those calls when you would both take a break from studying. Like he wanted to know more about you.
Three, you began to spend time together outside the group.
Quinn was excited for you the first time you told her that you were going to see Ethan and only him. Of course, you told her not to read into it, but when has she ever listened?
Things were going fairly well. Especially with New York as a whole, nothing too major had happened (no supervillains, thank god), only a few robberies and cats stuck in a tree.
You were sitting atop a building when a tingling sensation in the back of your neck alerted you to something. Then, as you honed your hearing, you heard glass breaking a block away.
Swinging never got old.
As you reached your destination, a small bodega being robbed, you spotted him. Ethan.
Your heart began to pound in your ears, watching from the outside as the robber trained the gun on his hostages inside the bodega, one of them being Ethan.
It was like muscle memory. Go in, threaten the robber, and if it escalated, you fought him.
“I’m going to get rid of you, Spider-Woman!” The man in the mask hissed at you, his pistol trained right at your heart. This part didn’t scare you anymore, but Ethan being here—did. “If you come any closer…” He stepped away, instead pointing the gun at some old lady, who looked scared shitless. “I’ll shoot her!” He noticed you weren’t fazed at threats against you, so he targeted the next best thing: civilians.
“Easy, there, cowboy. Why don’t you point that gun at me? I thought you wanted to get rid of me.” You tilted your head, gauging the severity of the situation.
In your peripheral vision, Ethan stepped in front of the lady, trying to usher her to the side.
God, he was an idiot—but you’d be lying if you said that didn’t warm your heart.
The robber didn’t notice because he was still staring at you, watching for any sudden movements you’d make.
It happened in three seconds.
One, you shot the web to the gun, trying to pull it back to you.
Two, the gun went off—a slip of his finger caused by your web. Before you saw who it hit, the man came at you.
Three, you took him down, knocking him out.
It was the next second that you decided your life wouldn’t be the same.
You heard a hiss, a gasp from onlookers, and you took away the magazine of the gun before your head snapped up to where the hiss came from.
Ethan.
Red was the first thing you saw. It was on that yellow cardigan he wore when it was chilly—You rushed to his side, seeing the red come from his arm. He was backed up, leaning against the wall.
He was wide-eyed, face scrunched up in pain. “Shit,” He put pressure on his wound. “It hurt less than I thought it would.”
If only he could see how the tears lined your eyes under the mask.
“We need—“ You tried to keep your voice steady— “We need to get you to a hospital.”
“I’m fine,” He hissed again as you pressed harder on his arm. “It’s just a graze.” He saw your concern.
“No—It could’ve—it could’ve hit something vital—“ Despite your knowledge that it likely didn’t, your head was spinning and rational thought weren’t exactly on the table.
The sirens reached your ears before anyone else’s.
You took a deep breath. Your head cleared.
“The ambulance is gonna get here soon, uh—“ You cleared your throat. “Don’t move, okay?” You nodded to him, and left.
Okay, you didn’t actually leave. You stayed on a rooftop across the street, a few buildings over, seeing that he was okay as he got checked out by the paramedics.
That was when you actually left. For good this time.
The timing was almost perfect—the next day, an old friend came to see you.
You weren’t expecting anybody, hanging out in an abandoned building you found in the outskirts of Brooklyn when you were a teenager.
But a black hole opened up right next to you. Maybe not a black hole, but the closest thing to it.
That was when you saw Miguel O’Hara.
Quinn had no idea that, when she woke up that morning, it would be the week she spilled your secret to the friend group.
This is how it went down.
Last evening, she told you to be careful before you left for patrol. You never came back in the morning. She didn’t see any evidence of you being there, like your shoes haphazardly thrown across the floor near the front door, or your backpack on the couch. This had happened once before and she found out you were at your Aunt May’s house—so she just sent you a text and went on with her day.
It was also the day Ethan called her and told her that he was shot. Then he texted the groupchat about what happened and they all (including Quinn) rushed over to his and Chad’s apartment to see in person that he was actually okay. A bit of a freaky situation that Ethan was caught up in that, but everyone calmed down eventually. But when Ethan told the story, Quinn hoped your disappearance had nothing to do with his getting hurt. She also noticed that he was bummed about you not being there.
It was the second day she got worried. No sign of you. Nothing on the news about Spider-Woman, either.
Bruno Mars Security Team GC
Quinn
Anybody heard from Y/N?
Chad
aren’t you her roommate
Quinn
Hasn’t been home since Saturday.
Ethan
She hasnt answered any of my texts
Chad
okay now i’m worried
tara? mindy? anika? sam?
Mindy
nope. anika says no too
Sam
Not me or Tara. I’ll try calling her
She didn’t answer
Ethan
Quinn do u know where she’d go? maybe to a family member?
Quinn
I dont know her aunt mays address
Chad
let’s wait a day to see if she turns up. if not then we’ll get together to brainstorm
You weren’t there the next day, so everyone gathered at yours and Quinn’s apartment to see what could’ve happened to you.
They all stood around the kitchen island.
“Has everybody called her?” Chad said, arms crossed. “Texting her and everything?”
Everyone nodded.
“Quinn,” Tara began. “Have you checked her room?”
She looked down, almost ashamed. “I did, actually. Nothing.”
“Do you think we should…check again? Maybe we’ll find something.”
“I’m good at snooping, if you need.” Anika added.
Quinn’s eyes slightly widened, “No!” Calming down, “I mean—no. She doesn’t like other people going through her stuff. I can because I’m her roommate—not you guys.” At times of stress, this was the best she could come up with.
“Okay…” Mindy’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “How about an address to Aunt May’s place? Do you think we could find that somewhere?”
The realization dawned upon her—no way of getting to you. “No. But she would’ve told me if she was going there.”
“Look, Quinn.” Mindy sighed, “Can you just—be honest with us?”
The ginger nodded.
“What was the last thing she said to you?”
“I—she was going out to buy something.”
Ethan’s nostrils flared—he knew when his sister was lying. Why was she so adamant to hide your whereabouts, even if it meant you were in danger? He sighed.
“I’ve—“ Everyone’s heads snapped to Ethan at his interruption. “I’ve had enough of it, Quinn. What the fuck are you two hiding? Seriously.”
Safe to say there was nobody in that kitchen who wasn’t surprised at his sudden outburst. He didn’t care, though.
“You always fucking lie, Quinn. I can tell. Why don’t you think I can tell? She goes missing, and you’re still keeping a secret!”
Chad put a hand on his shoulder, “Dude.”
The boy took a deep breath, reminding himself where he was. “Sorry. For shouting, I mean. But you can’t just—ask us to look for her when we all know damn well that you know something we don’t.”
At that moment, she had two choices. She thought for a long moment before she couldn’t find a rational explanation as to why she shouldn’t tell them that you’re Spider-Woman—you could be dead by now.
She walked away, hearing Mindy say “Are you fucking serious?” right behind her.
They didn’t have to wait for long, because Quinn came back from your room with something in her hand. They examined the object as she threw it onto the counter.
It was a mask—Spider-Woman’s mask.
“Holy shit,” Sam was the first to say.
“Wanna know the secret?” Quinn crossed her arms. “There’s your fucking secret.” She directed it at Ethan, whose mouth was slightly open.
She took a deep breath, a similar trait to her brothers to calm herself down. “The night she left, she told me she was going on patrol. When she didn’t come back the next morning I thought she was fine. Now it’s the third day, nothing from her. Look—I might’ve—like, fucked up. I don’t know.”
“How?” Asked Mindy.
“I should’ve told you sooner.”
It was clear to them that Quinn must have had this weight on her shoulders for so long.
“I have…so many questions.” Said Chad. “So when…Spider-Woman came to my apartment, that was Y/N?” He grabbed the mask, analyzing it with his hands.
“Why do you think she came to yours? She knows you have that stupid med bag with the unused suture kit.”
“Is that why she always left?”
“Mhm.” She nodded. “I thought—things were getting better. She was getting close to us again, stopped patrolling some nights because of my brother’s stupid discord calls.”
Ethan was breathless. “What?”
“Look—point is: she didn’t want to put anybody in danger. If I didn’t find out by accident, she never would have told me. She just…cares about you guys too much. She thinks if you know she’s Spider-Woman, you’d be in danger.”
When Ethan came face to face with Spider-Woman in the bodega, it was you. That was your concern, practically radiating off of you in waves. He knew you seemed familiar, somehow. But everybody knew Spider-Woman. He knew you differently. You saved his life.
Everybody was taken aback by the news. But Sam, ever the leader, began. “She’s been protecting us this whole time. All of us. It’s time we have to do the same for her.”
“How?”
“We find her. In any way possible, even if it means we have to track down her entire family, go back to her high school friends, anything we can think of, okay?”
There was no doubt in anyone else’s mind that they were all on board with the plan.
“Let’s do it.”
ONE WEEK LATER
It was the first night in a week that Ethan got proper sleep. The exhaustion finally caught up to his body after countless sleepless nights spent poring over clues on how to find you. He’d been making progress on the Oscorp lead when the last thing he remembered was slumping over at his desk.
Which was why it was weird when he opened his eyes, he saw the ceiling. He was laying down in the comfort of his own bed. Maybe he actually went to bed and didn’t realize it. The sunlight peeking through the curtains was probably a sign to get up, get back on the investigation.
That was until he sat up and saw a figure at his desk, standing over some of the files he sorted.
It took him a second to see it was you. Was he dreaming?
“You’re finally up.” He heard the voice come from you, and saw your mouth move, and as he processed your sweet voice and the teasing lilt to it, he almost fell off his bed jumping out to rush over to you.
He almost knocked you over as his (surprisingly) muscular arms wrapped around you in a quick second, you returning the hug with a smile he could feel on his neck. He was almost speechless. Almost.
Slightly pulling away, he got a good look at you, unharmed, grinning at him with the power of a million suns. He kept his arms around your waist, keeping you close as if he was afraid you’d disappear once more. Nonetheless, he mirrored your expression as he felt your breath on his face and your arms looping around his neck, running your hands through his soft curls.
“You’re…here. You’re actually here.”
Your soft hand came to rest against his chest, feeling his heartbeat along with hearing it.
“I’m sorry I left.”
The boy shook his head, “What matters is you came back. You always did.”
“I always will, Ethan.”
YESTERDAY
It was early morning and the feeling of defeat was strong in the room. Everyone was there at your and Quinn’s apartment all with one goal: to find you. They’d started this search almost a week ago with a determination in their eyes akin to a fight for survival, mainly because it kind of was. But as the days went on and the meetings at the house got longer to discuss other possibilities surrounding the circumstances of your disappearance, the metre to measure the disappointment was getting higher.
They all sat at the couch, flipping through the news channels, all talking about how Spider-Woman hasn’t been seen in over a week. It was an alarming wake up call for the city, because crime rates had gone up significantly without the friendly neighbourhood spider watching over the residents of the city that never sleeps.
The news anchors all echoed a similar message. Where is Spider-Woman? Many have theorized that this may be the end of an era—
Sam clicked the red button on the remote, the screen turning to black. “We can’t give up.”
“I didn’t wanna have to, but—“ Tara sighed, “We said if we can’t come up with anything, we’d get the police involved.”
Chad slumped right next to her. “What are we supposed to tell them? Hey, our friend’s been missing for a week and we’re just now reporting it. And FYI, she’s the vigilante who does your job for you.”
“Not like that.”
“But we can’t tell them she’s her, right? If they find her, she’d be arrested.”
“If they find her alive, that is.” Mindy added grimly, looking at the ground.
“Dude, come on.” Her brother tapped her arm.
“I’m just saying.”
“Quinn, Ethan.” Tara refocused the conversation, “Your guys’ dad is a cop, right?”
They looked at each other before nodding.
“Can you talk to him? You don’t have to tell him anything just—find out if anything happened lately, okay? Anything new.”
Anika added, “We’re not even on the week mark. It’s tomorrow. How about we focus on our leads today, then meet again tomorrow. If there’s really nothing, we’ll go to the police, okay?”
“That sounds good.” Ethan agreed.
“Alright,” Sam exhaled. “Dismissed.”
Everyone was sleepless that night. There was the obvious tell of the bags under everyone’s eyes growing bigger, not to mention the slouching and the less than ideal attention span they had lately.
Quinn’s eyes were wide open in the dark of room, wondering and hoping you weren’t dead in some back alley somewhere.
A sound in the living room broke her out of a dazed stupor. It wasn’t too loud, but not subtle, either.
On edge, her hand shot to grab the bat right next to her bed, a gift you’d given her for self defense purposes. She was careful not to make any sound, clearly unlike this moron who was breaking into her house on the middle of the night with heavy steps.
The fridge was open, the door hiding the figure of the person behind it.
She was ready to swing—
You. The figure closed the fridge door and it was you in your suit.
Maybe it was the lack of food that caused you not to notice her presence immediately, but you heard the clacks of the wooden bat hitting the floors before you clocked your roommate fully embracing you in a bear hug.
“Quinn!” You chuckled, returning the embrace. “Missed you too.”
She pulled away abruptly after a second, a stern look on her face but a layer of worry in her eyes. “Where the hell have you been?” She grabbed your shoulders and pushed back a little, looking over your entire body, checking for injuries—but you were clean. Not even a scratch. “Shit, you’re okay.”
“I—“
She hugged you again.
That was when you realized why she reacted like this. “How long have I been gone?”
She looked at you like you were crazy. “You’ve been gone a whole week.”
“Shit. I didn’t leave a note, did I?”
The guilt on your face was apparent, but it was nothing compared to the stress everyone had gone through while you were away.
“You didn’t. All of us have been looking for you—“ Something dawned on her. “I…had to tell them.”
You didn’t react the way she expected. She expected you’d be upset—angry, even, but not this. Not you being the one to hug her this time, taking a deep breath.
During the embrace, you spoke, your voice vibrating on her shoulder as your head rested against it.
“It was so stressful, out there. I have so many things to say. But I’m so tired—I wanna explain everything later.” You sighed, “How’s Ethan?”
“He’s okay. I’ll drive you to his place tomorrow, okay?”
Mindy, Chad, Tara, Anika, and Sam all woke up in their respective apartments to a text message in the group chat.
Quinn
Can we all meet at Chad’s place today? In a few minutes. Urgent!!!
After the conversation yesterday, they all expected the worst. Maybe Quinn had gotten information from her cop dad that Spider-Woman was found dead—they were all thiniing it. Ethan, however, having been up until late, was still sound asleep, phone on silent mode.
They met at the front door of the apartment building (of course, except for Chad, who was in his bedroom staring at the text in worry), Sam looking among the group to reassure them. “Guys,” She sighed. “Maybe if’s not bad news.”
Mindy turned to her. “Really?” She sounded exhausted, almost ready to give up.
“If Quinn had really bad news, she would’ve called us. Probably, right?” Tara backed her sister up.
“Let’s just…go in. She’s probably not even here yet.”
Just then, the sound of a car approaching quickly caught their attention—Quinn’s car.
Tara was at the end of the group, giving her the advantage of seeing first who was in the passenger seat of the car, getting out.
“Y/N!” She yelled.
The rest of them turned, almost running to the middle of the street as you closed the car door, leaving Quinn to find parking. You ran to the sidewalk, running into Tara’s arms.
You could feel the warmth radiating from the group as they welcomed you back with open arms, feeling guilty that you must have made them worry for them to react like this. Knowing some of their history with the murders in Woodsboro, it must’ve been terrifying for them to think they could’ve lost another friend.
It wasn’t long until you felt the missing piece, a hole amongst them that resembled a shape in your heart: Ethan.
“Where’s Ethan?” You tried not to show panic, but it was likely obvious due to Anika immediately reassuring you.
“He’s okay! He’s fine—he’s just sleeping.”
You sighed, relief taking over. “He doesn’t usually sleep in this late.”
“He was up late last night, he said he got a good lead on you. He…” She contemplated for a moment, not wanting to worry you. “He took it pretty hard when you dropped off.”
Tara almost slapped her arm. “Yeah,” she looked to you, watching carefully for any signs of panic. “He was worried. Probably more than any of us. But you can wake him up.”
“Do you…Can you tell us what happened? Where were you?” Mindy was reluctant to ask in case it was difficult for you.
But you were happy to tell them—you figured you owed them that much after having them think you were dead for a week. “I’ll tell you inside, come on.”
Pizza and drinks were being passed around, everyone was here, and you chose to sit right beside Ethan. He couldn’t stop looking at you. You could feel it.
As you animatedly told the story of meeting other people who also had spider powers, had similar stories, Ethan then began to wonder what would be next. Would you stay? What if you wanted to go back there, be with people who really, truly understand you?
By the end of the night, the group was preparing for the sleepover. But you could tell something was troubling Ethan. You studied him from the couch while the crew was gathering pillows, and he caught your eye and said, “Wanna go to the rooftop?”
You tilted your head on instinct, confused.
“You know…good air.” He shrugged.
“Sure.”
The walk up was silent. Maybe more than silent, if that were even possible.
As he opened the door to the rooftop, you made eye contact for half a second. And in that half second, Ethan decided he won’t lose you. In that half second, you looked away, then looked up again—and he gently grabbed your wrist, pulling you close enough that you felt his breath on mingling with yours, so close that you thought he was going to kiss you. But he began to speak.
“Can I—”
And you kissed him.
It was a small one, but when you tilted your head to lean in closer and tangled your hands behind his neck—Christ.
You pulled away abruptly and he wondered if he had done something wrong. At the same time he said “Holy shit,” you asked, “Wait, that’s what you were going to ask, right?”
Once his brain recovered, he finally nodded, “Yeah. You beat me to it.”
After a pause, he began again. “Does this mean you won’t leave?”
“Leave? Who said that?”
“Well, I just thought—”
“You’re an idiot, Ethan Landry. Come here.”
Additional Author’s Note: I apologize that Ethan and Reader do not have as many moments in this. Thank you for understanding. Again, if there’s enough interest, here’s a list of fic titles I’d be able to post wips of (keep in mind these are unfinished, you’re allowed to write continuations but my one wish before leaving this site is that my work is not fed into any kind of AI and that includes character ai):
blackout (2k)
dialogue (2k ish)
the dress (900)
rain (1k)
story beats for murder party part 2 (3.2k, jot notes)
reflections (2k)
the bear au (500 ish)
thief (800)
like a fool, im thinking of you (500)
avatar:
hard to love (2k, lo’ak)
sorry for any mistakes i didnt catch during editing !
86 notes · View notes
dfortrafalgar · 8 months ago
Text
I'm Losing You
Having a family isn't always as easy as fairy tales make it seem.
Warnings: Read chapter 1 for warnings. This chapter contains medical trauma in an emergency room, as well as pregnancy loss.
I was going to do my usual thing and post this tomorrow, but i felt too bad making yall wait so you get a one-two punch of pain today (on the bright side, and i promise this, things start to go uphill from here, if you could believe it <3)
Taglist: @phsycochan | @mirillua | @augustanna | @chaixsherlock
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Chapter 16
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The darkened operating theater’s focused silence was sharply interrupted with the sound of ringing coming from the phone tucked away in the circulating nurse’s back pocket.  It was very obviously from Law’s phone, but the entire surgical crew kept their heads lowered and honed in on their work.  It was quite difficult to break your stride when someone’s body was cut completely open and their beating heart was framed by a metal cage keeping the layers of fat and muscle from closing.  The nurse was checking oxygen levels of the patient and simply let the phone continue to ring.  No one said a word.
The ringing stopped.
Then it started again.
“Just let it go,” Law mumbled.  He couldn’t be bothered, not when he was quite literally inside someone’s heart.  A mitral valve replacement required just as much care as any other open heart procedure, despite being a relatively easy operation for his skilled hands.
The ringing stopped.  The nurse stepped away from the monitor and made a circle around the team, checking instruments, patient vitals, and needed materials.
Then the ringing started again.  This time, a few glances were tossed around the room by the attending surgeons and nurses, but Law kept his head down, neck-deep in his work.  The nurse pulled the phone out of her back pocket and assessed the screen.  Your photo and name were displayed.
“Doctor, it’s your wife,” she announced.
“End the call and text her that I’ll get back to her when I can.”
Following his instructions precisely, the nurse tapped the red End Call button, opened her doctor’s phone with his passcode from their previous go at this very situation, and navigated to his text messages, pulling up your conversation.  She had to suppress a smile at the photo that was set for your contact- a photo of you and what she assumed to be your dog, both grinning brightly at the camera.  She began to text.
Hi, this is Doctor Trafalgar’s circulating nurse again!  He’s currently in the middle of an operation but he’ll call you back when he’s done!
She was about to put the device back in her pocket when it buzzed with another incoming text message.
Wifey
This is Law’s friend Shachi.  Idk operating room etiquette but his wife was taken to the emergency room from her job, im here with her and another friend.  Can you relay the message somehow?  Thanks.
The unsuspecting nurse felt her heartbeat grow anxious.  She herself didn’t really know how to properly announce that information to her supervising doctor, let alone the entire room of fellow technicians and nurses surrounding a patient with his chest fully exposed and heart cut open.
“Everything good?” the tired voice of the lead doctor called from his position, slightly hunched over the body under the bright lights and protective sheet.  He had stepped back only mere centimeters to let an attending nurse go in with sutures.
“Uhm…” the circulating nurse felt her palms grow sweaty beneath her blue medical gloves.  “It was one of your friends, your wife is in the emergency room, apparently.”
Law felt his blood run cold.  His head shot upward to look at the poor nurse who was now unfortunately involved in this, staring at her with wide, golden eyes below his magnifying hood.  He must have looked profoundly stupid partnered with his surgical mask and bright blue hair net.  “What did he say?”
“That was it, he just said to call him back as soon as he could,” she responded nervously.
“Doctor, the surgery’s almost completed if you–” one of his technicians began before being interrupted by the doctor.
“No, I’ll never leave the operating room until the procedure is finished.  Don’t worry about me, continue your focus on the patient.”  But for the first time in Law’s entire professional life, his focus was everywhere but the patient.  Why were you in the emergency room?  Why were you taken from work?  What in the world had happened?
Were you having another miscarriage?
No matter how hard he tried, he could not bring his focus back to the unconscious patient on the table in front of him.  He felt like a ghost out of his own body, merely observing his rigid frame standing amongst his colleagues, frozen in time and place, glued to the cold tiled floor.  Petrified.  Chills were creeping up and down his vertebrae, spreading out to the very tips of his fingers, making him wish he could run.  Run as fast as he could, run to the next building to where the emergency department was and run through every room to find you.  He needed to find you.
The surgery could not have ended sooner.  As soon as he was given the clear that the patient was in the recovery ward, he was sprinting with all of his might through the halls of the cardiac ward, out through the lobby, and into the bright summer sun that seemed to be mocking him in his frantic state.  His lab coat trailed behind him and passing nurses and patients jumped out of his way as he barreled down the bright sidewalk of the hospital complex, passing small bundles of blooming flowers that almost shook with how fast his feet were carrying him.  He felt like his heart might evacuate from his chest, or that he would surely lose his lunch with the stress of the unknown.
He rounded a corner and entered the emergency wing through a back entrance using his ID, sprinting to the nearest nurse’s desk barely catching his breath.  The young woman behind the counter, caught off guard by his sudden burst into the space, was staring at the man with wide, blue eyes, her fingers frozen mid-typing on her mechanical keyboard.
“T… Trafalgar.  Where,” was all he was able to gasp out as he clung to the counter catching his breath.  He never was much of an athlete.
The young nurse hurriedly picked through the screen of her computer monitor.  “Room 114.”
“Thank you,” he wheezed as he pushed himself off again, this time speed walking through the large corridors of the emergency room, not wanting to cause an issue with the attending doctors.  He passed by empty gurneys and folded wheelchairs, idle medicine carts and nurses chatting with one another, another ordinary day for them.  Room 114 seemed so far away.
Finally, the number appeared on the wall to his right.  The door was wide open, multiple bodies hunched over the bed.  Shachi and Ikkaku bolted upright from their chairs, mouths open about to speak to Law, but he pushed past them and into the crowd of nurses.
Your wrists were strapped to both handles of the bed you occupied, your eyes squeezed shut and an oxygen mask was forcefully strapped to your face, so tight your skin was visibly pinching through the hard elastic straps.  The hose extending from the mask and into an on-board oxygen monitoring machine seemed so foreign on your beautiful face.  A few heart rate electrodes were placed on your chest, picking up a well above average heartbeat.  Your feet were weakly flailing under the covers as multiple nurses had their hands on you, assessing your blood pressure, your oxygen, hands on your abdomen, your legs, your breasts.
Law saw red.
“BACK THE FUCK UP,” he shouted, finally drawing attention to himself from the surrounding nurses.  Hospital etiquette could fuck off for all he cared.  His wife had her wrists bound.  “GET AWAY FROM HER.”
“Doctor, please,” a man from beside your bed rushed forward toward the cardiac surgeon, placing his hands on his shoulders.  “Please don’t yell-”
“Why the hell is she tied to the bed?!” he demanded, every fiber of his being forcing him to maintain at least some level of composure.  Behind him, Ikkaku grabbed Shachi’s wrist and dragged him out of the room, not wanting to put their friend under any more stress.
“She was thrashing in the ambulance, we needed to restrain her,” the male nurse explained, attempting to push Law back from your bed.
Law looked past the nurse’s shoulder and screamed once more.  “I SAID GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER.”
A much larger male nurse stood up from his place around your bed.  When he stepped aside, his legs revealed a bright red biohazard container on the ground, a mere glimpse of the pants you were wearing that morning peeking into Law’s field of view.  
“Doctor, calm down or I’m going to call security,” the bigger man threatened, stepping toward Law and giving his shoulders a firm shove backwards.  He was built less like your average nurse and more like a basketball power forward, and the force of his hands against Law’s shoulders sent the black-haired surgeon stumbling backward.
“Don’t tell me to calm down,” he seethed.  “What kind of nurse ties a patient to the bed when they’re panicking, huh?!  Is that what they’re teaching you ingrates?!  Tying a panicking woman to a bed to keep her still?!”
He forced his way past the larger nurse, much to the man’s discontent, and pushed through the other employees surrounding your bed.  His first action was to loosen the straps of the oxygen mask on your face, giving your skin room to breathe.  His deft hands ripped the velcro blood pressure cuff off of your bicep, tossing it back to a nurse who had stepped away, shocked by his actions.  The oxygen monitor on your finger was next, followed by the restraint on your left hand, which fell limp next to your body.  Your wedding ring was missing.
“Where’s the ring?” Law asked, forcing the blood oxygen monitor into the hands of the same nurse who took the cuff from him.
“What ring?” the basketball nurse asked, visibly angry with the doctor’s intrusion.
“The wedding ring on her left hand.  Where the hell is it?”
A very small, meek voice piped up from across your bed.  “It was removed in the ambulance because the paramedic was afraid she’d hurt herself with it.”
“Hurt herself, or hurt you?” snarled Law referring to the confused gaggle of nurses that had come into contact with his wife, already fed up with whatever excuses they were giving him.  If he was more rational, he could argue that they were simply doing their jobs, but even from his standpoint, what they were doing to you was clearly too much.  “I want every single one of you out of this room, and I want an attending doctor here immediately.  I need one of you to find that damn ring and bring it back to me.  Don’t make me ask twice.”
A few nurses took the opportunity to scramble from the room, visibly frazzled by the surgeon’s fit of rage.  The two male nurses from prior, however, stood their ground.
“You’re not in our department, doc, I’m afraid we can’t take orders from you.”  The larger nurse crossed his arms over his chest in defiance as Law stood between your body and the man.
“Then take my directions as the family member of a patient.  Get.  The hell.  Out.”  If Law were to see himself, he’d have absolutely no idea where this authoritative side of him came from.  He was never one for verbal or physical confrontation, more used to shutting down and bottling in his feelings than displaying them outright, and never would he ever think to get in the face of an extended colleague, but now was not the time for rational thought.
The first nurse to put his hands on Law placed a hand on the shoulder of his fellow nurse, pulling him toward the door.  The larger man finally relented and followed his coworker out into the hallway and around the corner out of sight.  Silence had finally settled over the room and Law rushed to the other side of your bed to unstrap your right wrist from the metal barrier.  Your heart rate on the monitor was slowly starting to even out, but was still maintaining a fairly erratic pace.  His new position allowed him to get a glimpse into the red biohazard container that was improperly placed next to your bed.  Your pants, the ones you had purchased when out with your friends a few weeks prior and that you were excited to finally wear to work, were completely soaked with bright red blood.  The rest of your clothing was in the bucket, specks of blood on your socks, and the lower portion of your flowy summer shirt.  He shoved the bucket out of the way with the ball of his shoe, forcing down the nausea that crawled up his throat.
He placed his hand on your forehead, leaning over you, his face contorted in an agony that mirrored your own.  
Your eyes slowly opened, your body completely spent and exhausted.  He barely wanted to know what kind of ambulance ride you had endured that had rendered your usually-energetic and upbeat form into a shell of your former self.  Your irises were filled with sorrow, and your eyes immediately began welling with tears at the sight of your husband standing above you.  You gasped into the oxygen mask, almost choking on the breath of cold, spicy air that flowed through the hose and forced its way into your body.  Law was quick to pull the mask off, breaking every form of protocol he was familiar with.  He knew his outburst and actions easily risked his integrity as a high profile surgeon, but as he took in the sight of you, completely burnt out, humiliated, scratched up from the binding on your wrists and straps from the mask on your face, he couldn’t find the time to care about his integrity anymore.
Finally free from the confines of the mask, you sucked in a shaky breath, heavy, salty tears flowing down your cheeks like a waterfall.  You weakly reached a hand up to his, and he took it in both of his warm, calloused ones, clenching you tightly, funneling all of his love into you.
“Law…” you tried to speak, but your voice came out more like a croak.  He felt his heart shatter, splintering into toxic pieces of fiberglass that ripped at his flesh, that stung the soul and pierced the very heart he gave to you.  Your lips were violently quivering as your body shook with suppressed sobs, not having any more energy to scream.  All you were able to do was mouth the words, ‘I’m sorry.”
Law’s resolve shattered.  Whatever was left of his pride, his dignity, his status as your strong, unmoving, supportive husband, was fractured.  He crumpled above you, his legs shaking as his head fell to your trembling chest, his hands that held your own remaining close to his own lungs as the tears he had wanted to cry for the past two years of trying for a baby finally escaped from his eyes.  He sniffled, snot rapidly pooling in his sinuses as a result of his tears, but he continued to hold your trembling hand in his as he bit his lip so hard it stung, the scorching hot tears leaving his eyes feeling like trails of magma down his skin.  The smell of hospital sheets did not belong on you.  
The world seemed to implode in on your weak form in the hospital bed, your husband’s defeated body hunched over your own.
A crackled, broken sob exited his lungs.
133 notes · View notes
ashascoven · 7 months ago
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❃☆ showering w/ the pyromaniac rat man ☆❃ pt. 1
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☆ so hi!! um!! welcome to my first fanfic lolz (im nervous about posting this can you tell ?!?! o(*°▽°*)o)
☆ im rlly new to posting on tumblr, but ive been reading fanfics on here for a WHILE!! it's inspired me to write a silly one about my favorite lanky robber <3 if theres any mistakes, PLEASE hit my line abt it (i beg)
☆ here is part 2, which is smut/nsfw, also on my profile!
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☆ FANFIC DEETS! junkratxreader ☆
reader is a female who's known for working with plants
VERY lengthy build-up fanfic (LOTS of reading, buckle up yall)
fluff??
emotional stuff, but nothing intense (??)
first time writing an australian accent, pls lmk if anythings weird!!
hope u enjoy :,D
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“Hggshmmshh.. peeaachh c-c.. cobbler.. mmh.. eeheeheeheh!! Piee..”
“Dammit! Move over, rat-ass!” 
You felt as if you had finally managed to doze off only a couple minutes ago. 
One second you're about to drift away into a somewhat decent sleep, counting flying sheep and letting your drool start to fall.
The next, you're getting whacked in the head with a metallic hand or shoved by a wooden peg in one of your sides.
Having to share a bed with a loudly snoring pyro-freak who reeked of gunpowder and body odor was not a promising night of rest, especially in a room of pure humidity and sweat. 
The mattress beneath you two was unbalanced and squeaky, the walls surrounding it adorning overgrowing vines and tears in its paper.
His twisting, turning, n’ noises didn't make it any better, but it was kind of reassuring in the sense that you weren't sleeping alone.
When was the last time he even showered anyway? 
Does this man know how to?
How does he sleep like this?
The more you questioned the Australian in your head, the more his body managed to keep sprawling across the queen sized mattress you two shared. 
Both his normal and prosthetic limbs jabbed at your back, his armed belt straps and gauntlets not contributing to your comfort whatsoever. 
“Fucking- MOVE!”
You gripped at the bed and gave him one kick in the ass with your bare foot. 
The maniac yelped himself into a giggling fit, somehow still remaining asleep. 
God, what's his secret to being such a happy sleeper?
With one last scoff, you nearly pushed him off of the bed, but you didn't think twice about it.
Rolling your eyes, you returned to your previous position with your back facing him, crossing your arms and trying to let your eyes close again.
You thought about the mission you two were given together, recalling it hundreds of times in your head to hopefully quench at your inability to have a comfortable sleep.
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Back at one of those Overwatch HQ meetings, they discussed wanting to try something new while still maintaining everyone's duties. 
Experimenting with how different heroes and scientists worked one-on-one with one another for “observational purposes,” they said.
Gibberish about increasing the rate of productivity within our cause by cutting down our dispatched team sizes.. 
“More groups of heroes can get sent out on more missions if distributed differently..!”
Blah-blah-blah..
You ignored all of the blabbering at the time, your ears only ever being open for what sounded most important and intriguing.
“It'll be an educational experience for great future references-” 
You reaaaallyy didn't think you'd be in one of the duo dispatches, yet here you were, somehow still in the flesh.
All that was asked of you both was to keep a watch out for anything suspicious at some abandoned town in the middle of who-even-fucking-knows.
Wooden huts n’ houses that were falling apart, yet they somehow still formed and held a small community of humble elders.
Supposedly, this place was a possible target of some well-feared terrorist group, and “Grandpa Jack” wanted you two to scout.
Discussion about exposed plans for making sure as many innocent people as possible experienced war “too” made your blood boil. 
It didn't make sense to you, the whole “no pain, no gain” mindset.
Clearly these people chose to live all the way out here to get AWAY from the danger, why force that on some old people anyway?
With their lack of clean drinking water and functioning power in an empty desert, you were sure they've already seen enough.
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“Haven't we lost thousands of innocent civilians already? Omnic or not, they can't just keep coming up with all of this frivolous shit and throw it at us..!”
You grumbled to yourself outloud, unconsciously turning to face the ultimate rat that was laying behind you.
“Why would they send us here if they KNEW there were people out here who needed help? Wasting precious time by sending two of us out here instead of a whole team is beyond me, honestly! We'll just keep getting killed and..” 
Your eyes ended up catching onto your distorted reflection on the goggles that Jamison wore to bed.
It made you trail off and unball your fists, causing you to think about the old people again.
You thought about how much you were gonna get onto HQ's ass to seek a better home for them all.
They were sweet to you and Jamie, and you were pretty sure he would try to take one or two to keep as parents of his own.
Considering he didn't have any living ones anymore, it would check out.
Your eyes wandered off onto the flickering of the dying light bulb hanging bare off the ceiling.
The bulb hung right behind mister sleeping beauty, holding on by torn wires.
You were surprised your sleeping partner hadn't managed to somehow pull it down in his sleep yet. The thought made you smile for a bit, letting your face rest.
Then, your hand reached up to Jamison's face. 
You didn't think much about it since your mind was more on other things still, but you unconsciously held his cheek.
You watched as he smiled in his sleep, gently putting his own hands on yours and nuzzling into your touch. 
The feeling of his rough palm against your skin along with the metal of his other one sent a chill through your body, but you didn't pull away.
Just looking at him resting like a baby put your mind at ease for a bit.. It helped calm your grumpiness from not being able to sleep these past few nights.
It’s been the longest mission yet, and also the first one that you’ve slept together with a person you were sent with.
You ran your thumb over his lightly chapped bottom lip, your mind finally winding itself down.
You two had somewhat of a record of being assigned missions together, but you were never as close to each other as this. 
Something about the way your silly acquaintance slept carelessly in front of you was strangely inviting.
You swallowed your emotions and repressed your urges to suddenly hug the rat man, drawing your thumb lower to his chin. 
You ran it over his speckled face hair, still letting him hug your arm. 
“Mmmmh.. G-gosh, so.. so waaarmm..! waarmm like a maarshmaallooww.. eheeh..!!”
He chuckled in his sleep as his hugging turned into more aggressive snuggling.
It made you wonder if he'd remember anything once he woke up.
Outside of those thoughts, you were heavily caught off guard.
You didn't know if you wanted to comfortingly rub at his hair, continue holding his face, or try to hug him entirely.
Internally? You wanted to do all of those things, but it didn't feel right yet.
Despite all the deep talks you've had with Jamie on the drives and flights to missions together, you guys were still just friends at work, right?
Would it be weird to treat a friend as such? 
Did he think you two were even friends?
You always had a tendency to overthink the simplest of things.
Questions would fog your mind the split second a minor inconvenience popped up, you struggled to help that “problem” all your life.
Yet, your time spent with him so far made it feel like your questioning wasn't a problem at all. 
You always wanted to know the specifics and the “why” or “how” in anything that interested you.
Jamison was similar. He fed into your talks about figuring out what's after death, your master-list of alternatives to milk JUST for enjoying it with cereal. your wonders about what being an omnic felt like, and even your rambles about plants having feelings.
He was so invested into the plant talk that he now avoids stepping on anything green to show you that he cared about nature's heart too.
He admired your outlook on everything, the way you approach things by being your real self.
He also liked that you didn't look down on him for having an explosive personality. 
Everyone else at HQ had something against the lanky robber, but you didn't hate him at all. You two matched each other in the way that you were both transparent and almost always had a fixation or a story to share.
His eyes practically turned into sparkles whenever you two got into your deep conspiracy talks because no one else bothered to entertain his yappering about bombs, especially with mutual ranting about something else.
It was nice, soo..
You guys had to at least be friends, right?
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“Mate! Earth’s waitin’ for your grand return! Ya aren’t dead yet.. Are ya, plant woman?”
Friends.. Yeah. You thought you two were cool buddies for all it’s worth.
“Aye! I knooow, me charmin’ physique’s too much to take in aaall at ooonce but-!”
It’s crazy how you were thinking about his eyes sparkling because.. Huh, how come they’re doing it right now?
“I can’t have ya dyin’ on me yet.. Ain’t no doctors around to come and shock ya awake!”
Gosh, who knew the local bombardier had such a twinkle to his eyes anyway?
“Is yer brain workin’? Want me to.. rewire it for ya?”
Twinkle.. twinkle.. twinkle..~
“Well, she’ll be apples! Ya goootta snap outta it mate! What is it ya want this time? An autograph? Some lollies? Aye! Aye..!”
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You were so zoned out into the thought of his eyes, you didn’t even register that you were now actually looking at them; he had woken up.
Your hand was still on his face too, but he wasn’t hugging it anymore. 
His robotic right hand was knocking the top of your head lightly while his skinned left one was holding your cheek. 
His facial expression was one of concern despite his messy blonde hair and some drool glistening off the side of his mouth.
With the way he clearly scooted closer to you, you two were actually really close to each other this time.
“Woaahh.. Ooh.. Oh..? OH!!” You froze up again, covering your mouth and (almost literally) getting knocked out of your trance.
“Whew!” Jamison sighed in relief.
“There's me’ plant woman! Turns out me charm was too much for ya to handle afteraaalll!” He chuckled, quickly shifting into a lounging model pose and striking you a sly grin.
“O-Oh.. Oh my gosh! H-How long was I like that?” You panicked a little, wiping sweat from your forehead and quickly rubbing it into the tail of your shirt.
“Since me eyes opened up! Let's say.. ‘bout half a’ hour?”
“H-half an hour?!?”
“Yeah! Are ya alright? Did ya think me eyes were THAT gorgeous?” He chuckled, rubbing his chin. 
“Pshh..” You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms once again.
“It’s alright if ya think so! I think so too! But, ya aren’t allowed to tell me fans that! Ehehe~!” He grinned, suddenly wrapping his arms around you and jokingly snuggling his head against the top of yours.
“E-eugh!! Fans my ass! Wait until they find out that you probably don't even wash yours, you stinky!” You exclaimed, trying to push your way out of his arms but to no avail.
“S-stinky?!?! Hey-! There's a’ supa’ top secret special essence in me junker way o’ livin..! T-the cleanest ya'd ever know!! How 'bout ya take a smell~!??” He challenged, immediately shoving his arm pits in your face and keeping you in his grasp.
“GOD! Quit it!! You smell terrible-! Ugh!!! Let me go right now!”
“Nuh-uh! Hatin’ on me wondrous magnificence ain't nice!”
“Your breath's gonna kill me, you bastard! Agh!! You literally need a bath!!!” You were muffling into his arms, trying to push him away even harder. 
You managed to push yourself upwards, but you still were trapped in his grasp as he giggled n’ snuggled away. 
As much as you hated to admit it, his silliness was really comforting, charming in it's own way even.
Yeah.. he didn't smell the best, but!!.. He was kind of fun to be around. It was hardly ever boring around the rat man.
“Fine, whatever,” You sighed, no longer fighting to leave his sweaty arms.
“Your eyes are.. nice to look at. Anyway, I'm tired and somehow comfortable in this position so if you move weirdly, I'm pushing you off the bed.”
He loudly gasped, his eyes widening and sparkling so much so that you could've sworn staring directly into them would've blinded you.
“Y-ya really m-mean it?!!?!! A-about.. me eyes?!? OoooOOoohh~! I.. H-How I could jus’ kis-”
You cut him off by wrapping your arms around his head. His face was buried into your chest while his arms were still around you.
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You felt him freeze, his immediate blush against your chest practically able to burn through you. He didn't scream or pull away, just sat there for a bit, shocked at someone hugging him back for once.
You sighed out again in content, now leaning your face on top of his head. His hair felt surprisingly soft against your cheek, but he still smelled bad.
“God, you smell so terrible.. but.. you're kinda.. comfy and..- Okay you're actually very comfy what the hell.” 
You gushed, your leaning turning into you practically snuggling against his hair.
The rat man stayed frozen in his position, shock taking over his body. For once, it wasn't one of those triggering shocks that turned his trauma into adrenaline; it was a.. refreshing kind of shock? The kind that was making him realize how starved from affection he really was for so long.
He felt like a deer mesmerized by headlights.
“If only you didn't move so much in your sleep, tsk tsk.. I can totally get over the strong burnt tire smell for how snuggly your hair is thoug-”
“Ihh shay..”
He suddenly muffled through your chest, but quieter than his normal tone.
“Eh?”
One of his fingers twitched.
“..Ihh shay shihh!”
“Fucking- Get out of there and spit it out!”
You pouted, pulling his face out of your chest’s cave to look him in the eyes and hear him properly.
“I-I’ll stay.. still! m-mighty still.. i-if ya keep on.. rubbin’ that pretty face on ma’ skull.. p-please? please mate!!”
‘Absolutely the fuck not!’ is what you almost instinctively said, but something about this weird man’s vulnerability around you gave you a feeling his request wasn’t ill intended. 
He nudged you into a softer tone towards him for the night, so you silently raised a brow. He kept pleading, his sparkling eyes bouncing between you and the rest of the room.
“I-I ain't had anyone.. touch me ‘air, l-let alone me whole body i-in years! Feels comfortin’- so- i- uh- p-please mate! i won't be buggin’ ya’ rest any longer i-if ya felt kind ‘nough to.. perhaps grant me thee honor-!?”
“I’m doing it, so hush up.”
“Y-yes m’lady”
He quickly blurted out, before burying his face back in-between your chest with a relieved giggle.
“Hah, for someone who goes by being a rat, you're sure acting like a puppy right now.”
“Y-ya really think so!?”
“Yeah sure, but- hmph, the ‘junk’ part still applies. I'm so close to dragging you into a bath myself..”
“>:(“
“Wait.. This kinda gives me an idea..” 
A mischievous grin growing on your face as you mumbled to yourself.
“Whaddya say?”
He grumbled, oblivious to your scheming. You slowly tried pulling away from him, but to no avail.. He unconsciously scooted closer into your arms with each pull.
“..nothing, ratty-poo.” 
You pushed him away quickly with your hands now gripping his shoulders.
“A-ay mate! W-whaddya push me away foorrr? I was enjoyin’ me time in there.. :(“
He yelped in response, his arms now crossing with a pout.
“No more snuggling until you take a bath!”
“W-whuh!?”
“I'm not cuddling your hair until you wash it.”
“..noooo :((“
“No shower, no snuggle!!”
“:(((... Fine..”
“W-wait- You're giving in that easil-?”
“JUNK ATTACK!!!!”
He yelled, diving back into your chest with his arms around your waist once again. You scoffed, not cuddling or holding him back.
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“Rat-ass.”
“Y-yes m-m’lady..??”
“I'm giving you five seconds to get off of me, or I'll kick you off.-”
“N-no!! P-please mate!-”
“I'll go and grab a bucket of ice cold water to throw at you so help me you don't mov-”
You've never seen a tall grown man back up to the edge of a bed so quickly.
“GO.”
You yelled, pointing violently at the bathroom door.
“NEIN!”
“I SAID GO!”
“NO!”
“You want more cuddles from me, right, ratty-poo..?~”
Your tone softened as you twirled your hair and pleaded your eyes at him.
“I- u-uh- y-yes m-m'lady but-”
“THEN GO BATHE!”
He whined another ‘no’ in response, crossing his legs and arms while looking away.
You sighed, before crawling across the bed and hooking your arm around his.
“Lord.. What am I gonna do with you..”
“W-well I- AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!”
“GET YOUR ASS IN THAT SHOWER JAMIE!!”
You yelled again as you held him in a headlock position.
As he whined, you held him there for a bit, thinking.
“Hmm..”
“You l-let go of me t-this instant mate! T-the junkers back in me home town w-wont be pleased with how you're behavin’ towards me greatnes-”
“What if we took a bath together?”
“-and once they find out what you've- huh-!?!”
“You and me, we bathe together. I'll literally help you clean up if it means you won't stink in bed.”
You said casually as you quickly faced him towards you and dropped him onto the bed. He landed on his back with his arms above his head while you sat on top of him.
Questionable position if you may, but you dare not complain about the view.
He was too in shock to notice it either.
He stared at you wide eyed. 
He opened his mouth and put a finger up to say something multiple times, only to close it with more thought and look away, his finger curling up and down with each pause.
He thought about the offer for the long time.
Then, he rubbed his chin. You watched carefully, not letting your guard fall in case he felt like randomly wrapping himself around you again.
“Hmph.. if t-that’s what it'll take.. then I suppose a.. mighty handsome fella like me.. wouldn't mind bathin’ with a.. pretty.. f-flower woman like you!”
“Uh huh..-”
“B-but under one of me’ own conditions!”
“.. you're what now-”
“Bath cuddles?”
He clapped his hands together in a praying motion, pleading with those damn sparkly eyes again. It's like he just does it in command at this point..
“God, what are we, a couple?”
You yawned with closed eyes. 
“I-I.. W-well! Your one an’ only gentleman of’uh bombardier wouldn't complain!”
He nervously smiled and blushed, his gold tooth shining comically as he said that.
It earned a giggle out of you, followed with covered mouth mumbling.
‘You’re so silly, it's kind of attractive..’
“Whaddya say, me’ pretty plant-y mistress?”
“I said, you're so silly, it's kind of.. u-uh- cool-? I guess??!? I don't- Mistress!?- I- W-whatever- C’mon, let's go! Into the baaathh we goo..! C’mon c’moonn..”
You spurted out, getting up and dragging him by the arm into the bathroom. 
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You didn't really think through the fact that.. this man would be so close to you while you two were undressed.
Oddly enough, he didn't give the vibe of someone who'd try anything, but it was still weird. 
One second you're forced to share a bed with this guy.. And the next? You've convinced him to take a shower with you??? Weird..-o!!
When you two made it, you both kind of just stared at the bathroom and each other for a minute. 
It was a decently sized room, but the entirety of it was a shower.. literal shower room?.. whatever.
There wasn't a sink or toilet like the bathrooms you were used to. 
Instead, there was just one large shower head in the center of the room, a drain in a corner, and tiles that patterned the floor and walls in a creamy gradient. The two handles for the shower were next to the doorway, labeled for their temperatures.
There were also two slim windows higher up on two walls facing each other, slightly cracked for the steam.
The only light you guys had came from either these windows, or from the doorway to the room you shared, so it was acceptably dim.
Some vines creeped through corners here and there, but it was surprisingly much cleaner than the rest of the hut you guys stayed in. The non-direct warm lighting really set the vibe.
As you turned both of the handles halfway, you watched in surprise as the rat man happily stripped at whatever he had on, going for a dive on the shower floor as if it were a kid’s waterslide with a ‘yippee!!’
It immediately followed with a groan of pain from him, and a reactive facepalm from you.
With a sigh of ‘Oh, what I'll even do with him..’ (ironic), you quickly undid your hair and stripped off your clothes while he wasn't looking.
He swiveled around right as you finished, watching in awe as you awkwardly shuffled onto the floor next to him with a travel sized bottle of soap and a mini loofa.
“S-ssheesh..” he gaped, “what a beautiful woman..”
“T-thanks, b-but don't look too hard, silly guy.” You joked lightheartedly and rolled your eyes, your initiative agenda from before going out of the window because of the attractive man in front of you.
The hot steamy water combined with how it washed away some of the rat man’s dirt made his revealed skin slightly harder to not drool over..
..but you fought any urges or sudden fantasies you had right then and there. 
‘It’s just the lack of sleep getting to me,’ you quickly scolded yourself in your head, ‘.. there's no way I shoul- COULD see him like that, yep..’
“You're.. not too shabby yourself..” You muttered to get it out of your system, painfully controlling your hands from wandering. Thankfully, he probablyyy didn't hear you. 
With that, you were getting to work with your soap on his arms, trying not to think too hard about the man before you.
“Caaan I have me cuddlin’ time with ya noooww, plant womaaan?”
“Noo! I just started with you and I'm not done yet, rat-head.. Be patient n’ be quiet.” You grumbled, finishing his arms and scrubbing his back like a concerned mother.
“Pleeeaaaaseeee…????” He covered his eyes and whined as you made way to his torso with your loofah. The scrubber was barely holding on and you weren't anywhere near finished..
“Don't make me tie you down in here just to get you clean, bastard..” You threatened, moving from his back to his front side. You held at one side of his torso, scrubbing away.
He moved his hands from his face to his sides, looking down at you with that puzzled gaze once again. You glanced up at him with a raised brow before looking back down at your work.
You weren't actually all too irritated. Tired, yes, but it was actually kind of destressing being able to work your hands at something like this. 
You were also literally.. bathing a grown ass man, but you'd be lying if you said anything about preferring to be at home, bored and alone.
At least this mission gave you some kind of purpose, and alongside an entertaining goofball as well. It could be much worse, but it really wasn't bad at all which you liked.
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Suddenly, he started patting your head, a close eyed grin on his face.
“Oouuhh… M-mate, ya know.. Thanks a lot for this! I appreciate ya’, I really do!”
“Don't sweat it, poo-face, you were already sweating enough in bed anyway..” You chuckled with another playful eye roll.
“If you weren't gonna bathe yourself, something had to be done for BOTH OF us to catch some rest for the mission, and goddess KNOWS I can't sleep with a loud stinky man..” You responded mindlessly, gently grabbing his face by his jaw and scrubbing his neck.
“It gets.. hard sometimes,” he threw his head back with a sigh, “I know I'm supposed ‘tuh.. do it all me’ self but, I lose me’ mind to the world o’ bombs!” He chuckled.
“You don't say…” You coughed with sarcasm, still listening and cleaning. He's used to your personality by now, and he knows you never really mean any harm.
“Oh, but I do! Even with me’ prosthetics, it jus’ makes it harder n’.. I could never fancy the time to.. uh.. keep takin’ em’ on n’ off..”
“..It bugs me, the pain, it's a reeaall.. buggin' feeling, both in me’ arms n’ legs.. n’.. the mind. It does somethin’ to ya, makes people call ya crazy!” He gestured by wiggling his normal arm, then his robotic one in comparison. 
You put his arms down like an annoyed cat, but you weren't actually annoyed, just trying to reach over him to attempt washing his hair.
“..but really ‘m not.. I.. I just resort to.. expressin’ what takes it all away.. and uh! bein’ me!, ya’ kno- Aauh.. T-that feels.. holy..” He cut himself off, sighing in relief. You had bowed his head under the running water for you to better reach him, unknowingly giving him a more direct view of your bare chest. 
“A-Anything to take me’ mind off the.. A-ahem-.. the uh.. rot.. the distinct feelin’ of not bein’ the same as everyone else.. anymore.” He cleared his throat, awkwardly trying not to stare as he spoke, but you didn't think much about it.
“People stay clear of me all the time! N’ they think I don't be noticin’ b-but I do!” He ran a hand through his hair after you moved down to his legs.
“It hurts, but.. I just keep doin’ me’, I try not to stay in me’ past, live for me’ mum, n’ keep it movin’!”
“Oh! That's also why I like ya’ mate!” He smiled, throwing up finger guns.
“Whuh- Really?” You looked at him.
“Yeah! You don't treat me funny for me’ quirks! You always seemed like.. a couple screws loose in somebody’s noggin never bothered ya’! Me’ motors don't drive ya’ wild, do I?” 
“Pshhh… You definitely drive me crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm never down for a wild adventure with you, rat-ass.”
“See? Ya’ get me! I know your tired n’ all, n’ I'm sorry for takin’ away from your beauty rest like this but..” He scratched his chin and sighed, looking to the side.
“Thanks mate, r-really..” He mumbled, shuffling closer and wrapping his arms around you for a genuine hug.
“I- U-uh-.. Your.. welcome? All I've done was treat you like.. a normal human being? As you.. should be?” You awkwardly hugged him back, confused.
You pulled away, your hands on his shoulders.
“Despite our friendship, I don't know what it is you've REALLY really been through, but no matter how tired or over it I may seem, I still think you're hella cool of a guy.” You warmed up to his hug, patting his back.
“Whenever you wanna chat about.. literally anything in the world, you know who to come to, silly.. Seriously, don't ever sweat it.” You smiled and yawned, going back to washing his upper body off for a second, more gentler time. 
You were surprised he didn't question the hot water in hot weather or how quickly it managed to cool you guys off. It was definitely making you more sleepy though.
“T-thanks, plant woman..” He wiped away a tear, sighing with a contentful “aah” as you tended to him. He leaned back, taking in the feeling of your care.
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“Ya know, you're reeaaal good at this.. are ya’, perhaps, experienced ‘n bathing other people?” 
“Wh- This is.. how baths are meant to be taken, no?”
“T-together??!? Mate, I’d kill to have this luxury of bein’ cleaned by ya’ like this all the time!!”
“Whuh- No! I m-meant.. the soap and water, you fucking peanut.”
“Ooh.. W-well!” he pointed a finger up, “I don't care ‘bout standin’ under some lousy water for a’ hour! But.. ya’ make me want to if it means you'll be the one cleanin’ me!”
“You're an adult, Jamie.”
“Don't forget me’ prosthetics-”
“They're literally waterproof sealed..”
“How would ya’ even know that!?”
“You told me this in our past rant sessions, twice I might add.. Something about avoiding radiactiv-”
“Screw you, mate! ( ` ロ ´ )”
“..You probably would though. (>ᴗ•)”
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☆ if anyone actually makes it this far, tysm for reading!! feedback is 100% welcomed and appreciated <33
☆ i promise ill get the smut out for this eventually.. ill also make a pinned request post soon!! with graduation coming up, im a bit busy :((.. BUT ITLL ALL COME!
☆ ^^ update, here it is!!
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☆ enjoy ur day/night yall! eat, stay hydrated, and keep loving junkrat fr ♡( ◡‿◡ )
124 notes · View notes
seeingivy · 1 year ago
Text
ribbons release
actor eren x f!reader
**part of my method acting series
content: happiness for once. until it is not. ronnie's love for foreshadowing strikes again.
an: not a fan of this chapter, but we digress. read it and do not kill me if you don't like it.
song: not explicitly mentioned, but this chapter reminds me of about you by the 1975. ratty healy, I hate you but you ate on this one thing.
previous part linked here
--
“I ju-just sent my loc-location, Eren.” 
“I got it, Y/N. I just need you to hold on for ten more minutes, okay? Can you do that for me?” 
“Y-yes.” 
Seattle is famous for rain. You understand that all too well now. After what you’ve counted as twenty-seven minutes - from when you went to take the trash out to the mailpost you’re hiding behind now - you’re all but soaked. Drenched. 
Your phone is blowing up with texts, the rain is only getting harder, and the mini black dress and ribbon in your hair do no favors to keep you warm. You slide out of your call with Eren and quickly scan through the messages, buzzing so loud they’re blocking Eren’s voice. 
reiner: so, so proud of you always!!! stop being a big famous pop star and go back to being the little twerp who needs my help killing spiders on set :/ 
levi: I love you too, kid. And on a real listen, we really do love the album. 
armin: ann and i are smelling a triple threat on the horizon. love you to the moon and saturn <3
connie: i was accidentally pooping while i listened to dorothea for the first time and i think the combination of those two things at once gave me like a really visceral reaction. im not ok. u are amazing. 
mikasa: u are givg me aneurysm. pls don’t forgor to call me the scnd ur okay. 
erwin: Call me ASAP. 
erwin: Not urgent. Just feeling emotional about my little Canadian reaching hearts all over the world. 
king of bitches (maybe: ryomen sukuna): Fluff shit indeed. Blow me a kiss when you beat James for Album of the Year. 
danny: where is the album release post? it’s almost been half an hour. 
You have bigger problems at the moment. Like the frozen piece of fabric you’re wearing. You should have named the album sweaters or scarves or something. Then at least you’d be warm. And blend in with the paparazzi. 
Fuck.
“W-wait, Eren. Y-you ca-n’t b-be the one to get me.” you murmur, shivering through your teeth.
“Do you want to stay with someone else? I know nice people here. My neighbor is in her late forties and has like two middle school aged girls that are really nice. They’d take care of you, I promise you can trust them and-” he rambles. 
“N-no. I want to st-stay with you. But pa-papara-zzi. S-send ss-omeone e-else.” 
“Paparazzi? Why are-?” 
“Er-eren.” 
“Would it be that bad if it was me? Like it has to be someone else, Y/N?” 
“Y-yes.” 
“I have someone in mind. She’s leaving right now, okay?” 
Eren’s sound is muffled over the line now, which has you digging your phone into your ear to catch the ends of what he’s saying. 
Blast the heater….butt warmer on before she’s in the car….bring it up and I will kick your freeloading….
“Y/N?” 
“H-here.” 
“Good. I’m sending her. Don't get upset, this is the best I could do, okay? I-I promise she’s actually nice. You can trust her and-and I’d never send someone who would do something bad.”  
“O-okay. I t-trust you. J-just get me ou-out of th-this, please.” you whimper, praying to god the rustling behind you is a rabbit and not the group of them finding you. 
“I’m trying sweetheart, okay? She’s speeding. She’s on Main and Third, three lights and she’s there.” 
That’s when you see it. The flash of the camera. And hear five consecutive clicks right after. You look around the periphery, before you see two of them, two tall guys speed walking closer to where you’re hiding. 
So you do the only thing you can. Stand up and run instead. 
You scramble up off the pavement, hiking your dress down, and keep running down the block. Climb up the gates, knock over trash cans to block the way, anything to stop them. And when you look back, after who knows how long, you realize they’re gone. 
And sit flat on the messy pavement, finally lifting the phone back up. Only to realize Eren’s no longer on the line because your phone is dead. You drop it straight into your lap and dig your hands into your head, covering your ears to stop the pounding sound of the rain from getting any louder. 
God. Just breathe. Whoever is coming to get you is on the way. They’ll come get you and then you’ll be out of this mess. 
You hear three resounding clicks and a flash of a light to look up at two different paps, two girls this time, getting a straight on picture of you. And all you can do is put your head down in your lap and cry. 
They already got the picture. There’s no point in trying to run out of it anymore. 
“Y/N.” 
“Pl-please. I’m b-begging you. You already got your picture and can ss-spin it into whatever you want. I-I’m still a person, please. Just let me go.” you respond, the tears blinding your sight of vision. 
You feel a towel being wrapped around your shoulders and soft hands lifting you up by your arms. And then all of a sudden you’re in a warm car, being sped out of the neighborhood past the groups of paparazzi in between the houses, and not directly across from them having your picture taken. 
You’re in a car. You’re okay. You’re leaving. You’re okay. 
You lean back and breathe hard, phantom sobs still racking out of your chest, trying to register that you’re almost there. Safe behind closed, triple locked doors. 
“D-did you tell Eren?” 
“Yes. He’s not far, we’ll be there soon, okay?” 
“Okay. T-thank you. I’m Y/N.” 
“Lana.” 
You turn your head to actually take in the driver this time, to be met with the Lana you feared. Ricky’s ex-girlfriend, Lana. She has short brown hair - entirely different from her long, beachy waves from the Girlfriend incident - a pointed nose and a very clenched jaw. 
“Th-there are more blankets on the floor. I pumped the heater pretty hard, but I’ll turn all the fans your way. And anything you could possibly need is being rushed to the house for you, so just don’t worry, okay?” 
“I appreciate it. Thank you for coming to get me. I-I” 
“Please don’t thank me. I just-” 
She takes a harsh intake of breath and turns to give you a look, her mouth upturned. 
“He locked you out, didn’t he?” she whispers. 
“Yeah.” you respond. 
“What did you do?”
“I told him I didn’t like him back.” 
She turns her head towards you, a look of confusion on her face. 
“It was a PR thing.” 
She snorts. 
“Your managers must hate you.” 
“I’m starting to think they just might.” 
“Well. Don’t feel bad. Not for a fucking second. Just because he likes you, doesn’t mean he’s entitled to you reciprocating back. You like who you like. And if I were you, I wouldn’t stop liking a guy like Eren for a skeeze like Ricky either.” 
You lean against the glass, hot air blowing in your face, as you take in her expression - so enraged, so exasperated, so furious that it gives you a chill. But when she looks over and gives you a halfhearted smile, you see the pained expression there too. 
That’s when you pinpoint it. Lana reminds you of Historia. 
“I’m sorry.” you respond. 
“For?” 
“You knew he locked me out. He must have done it to you too, no?” you whisper, the tension in the air delicate. 
She swallows hard and clenches her knuckles on the steering wheel, eyes laser focused on the red light shining on her face. And beyond the original striking features - her sharp jaw and nose - you see the softness too. The dimples, the wrinkles near her eyes, the light brown freckles. 
“I wanted to take time off from acting. It-I did a role that was really traumatic and I just needed a break. And he was just about to go on tour and he wanted me to come to support. Like a little cheerleader.” 
“So he locked you out?” 
“For two days. He-he’s just. A lot of the fame stuff got to him when he was really little. And now he’s got this convoluted sense of self-image and it just- I don’t know. He’s got problems.” she responds. 
“I’m sorry. Really, that’s-” 
You stop talking, words failing you. And maybe it’s the way your head was frozen ten minutes ago and it’s being melted now, or that the picture they took is going to leak soon, or that there is no good thing to say to something shitty like this. It only took him three months to turn on you, which you’re guessing is generous now. She must have infinite patience for putting up with it for an entire year. 
“In a weird way, I’m glad it’s me and not Eren. You- this does something for me. Making sure you’re not out there for two days, it-it helps me.” she whispers, looking over to give you a smile. 
“I really appreciate you, Lana. Thank you. And I-I’m not mad at you for the Girlfriend thing. You had every right to do that.” 
“Y/N. I have every right to drag Ricky James’ name through the mud. But not yours. And I- shit. Please don’t tell Eren we talked about this. He’s going to kill me.” 
“Why?” 
“He told me that if I brought it up, he’d kick me out of his house. I kind of stay there because I-I hate living in our townhouse on set because of how toxic it is and he was nice enough to offer. And he made it very clear that I have to pick you and make sure you’re okay, not make you uncomfortable or anything. We’re here to take care of you and-” 
“I brought it up. I’ll deal with him if he gives you a hard time. I used to be really good at that type of thing.” 
“I know for a fact that you could tell him to twirl in the air like a show pony and he’d do it.”
“I’ll test the theory and let you know.” 
She laughs, giving you a smile which you warmly return. Your phone buzzes in your lap, finally revived, and you send a quick message to Mikasa and Jean before shutting it off. 
“I-I didn’t know that it was going to go that far. I knew the song and that we were just going to sing it. Let people speculate it was about you. I-I didn’t know they’d have a girl who looked like you OR bring Eren up on stage. And Eren didn’t know anything about the song or the performance at all - they, they set him up.” 
“Why would they do that? I mean, they got horrible backlash in the entire thing.” 
“They thought people would like it. And they severely underestimated how much people love you. And they did it because, Eren- he. He doesn’t follow rules and-” 
“Follow rules?” 
“I’m saying too much. He-he’s going to get mad. Ju-just rest, okay? You’re okay now, we’re two minutes from the neighborhood..”  
You give her a questioning look, which she returns with a dismissive shake. Stubborn - she’s Historia alright. You lean back in the chair and reach for the music nob, twisting it on. Only to be met with the Teletubbies Theme blasting through the car and a very flustered Lana turning the knob off. 
“Fuck.” 
“Teletubbies?”
“I-I can explain.” 
“Please. I’d love to hear it.” 
She drums her fingers on the steering wheel as the silence hangs in the air. 
“Okay. Maybe I can’t explain.” 
“No need. I appreciate versatile music taste in prospective friends. Especially classics like this.” you respond, cranking the music back on. 
“Friends?” 
“Don’t be silly. Not exaggerating, but I think you quite literally saved my life a few minutes ago. You’re like the La-La to my Dipsy.” 
“Lame. You’re more of a Tinky-Winky. And anytime. We girls stick together, right?” she responds, reaching for your hand and giving it a squeeze. Like Eren. 
Did she learn the hand squeezes from Eren? Is he squeezing her hands? They live together so …are they dating? 
“We’re here.” 
You nod, appreciative of Lana more than maybe any person on god's green Earth, as she pulls into the driveway and helps you out of the car. It’s only after sitting that you’re realizing your legs are so bone dead tired that you’re barely moving on your own. 
You move past the hood of the car as Eren walks into the garage, immediately beelining towards you. His hair is long again - it’s always changing every time you see him - and he’s all wound up with tensions sitting in his shoulders. His hands are warm and cupping your face, yanking the cold towel off and replacing it with a warm one. 
“Hey. You-you nicked your face, Y/N. And you’re freezing, you-” he whispers, brushing his fingers across the skin near your eye that stings on touch. 
Lana holds the door open as he leads you in, arms aggressively moving up and down your shoulders and his face all pinched up in concern. 
“You’re good to go? I put your stuff out by the door.” Eren says, gesturing to Lana. 
“Is she leaving?” you ask, looking up at Eren. 
“Yeah. Don’t worry, it’ll be just us. And I’m sure Mika and Jean will drop everything to fly out for you tomorrow, I can tell them if you need me to and-” 
“Well, don’t make her leave. She shouldn’t stay on that stupid set just because of me.” you respond. 
Eren looks over and glares at Lana, who is now wide eyed and giving Eren a sheepish smile. Fuck. He asked her not to talk about that. 
“Lana.” he says, in a warning tone. 
“Eren. Chill out. I didn’t even-” 
“You’re so full of yourself, you know that? You- she got drenched and the rain and you were talking about set?”
“It’s not like that! It just came up and-” 
“Oh, for sure. You just happened upon it like you were a villager walking in a town square. Ooh Y/N. You just got drenched in the rain and chased by paparazzi, but more importantly, the girls I work with are super bitchy.” he responds, mimicking her voice. 
“You-it wasn’t like that! You’re so aggravat-” 
“Eren. Leave her alone.” you ask, looking up at him. And you’re sure you must look horrible because he immediately stops when he looks at your face again and signals for her to leave, which she’s receptive to. 
“Okay. Lana, text me when you’re there. And check if you were followed on your way out.” Eren says. 
Lana stops and holds both of your arms at your biceps, hands soft on your skin. 
“Do call me if you need anything, okay? Especially Ricky related. Whatever you do, I’ll back you up, Tinky-Winky. ” 
“Thank you, La-La. I’ll take you up on that.” you respond, giving her a warm smile. 
“Oh god. No. No, you don’t get to be friends now. Fuck no, Lana. Please stick to the geriatric grandmas you play Scrabble with.” 
“You’re just mad they beat you at mahjong last week. Because you’re a prissy loser.” 
“And you’re-” 
You jab Eren in the side, signaling him to stop, as they both nod and she slides her way out. From the way he’s arguing, the look on his face is so similar to the one he gives Connie when they argue, you know they could go on for years if they got the chance. 
“Fuck you, Eren.” 
“Eat shit, Lana.” 
She flips him off as the door clicks shut behind her, the lack of her presence making you suddenly aware of your breaths. And of Eren, warm Eren rubbing into your shoulders and concerned green eyes staring into yours. 
“I like her.” you whisper. 
“Me too. Don’t tell her that though, she’s got an ego problem.” he responds.  
You laugh, which has him smiling at you, and suddenly you’re sobbing. And on cue, Eren has his arms around you, his touch warm and his voice oh so soft that it kills you. That you haven’t seen him in two months. And haven’t talked to him for longer. 
“Eren.” 
“Hey, hey. Don’t cry, it-it’ll be okay. I- we’ll fix this, okay? I’ll call Levi and Hange, whoever you want, they’ll all come and-” 
You reach up, tangling your arms around his neck as he keeps nervously talking, trying to hold you closer even though it’s not physically possible. And he’s just so- 
So familiar that he feels like home. 
“You’re breaking my heart here, Y/N. Please stop crying, I-I’ve got you, okay?” he murmurs, straight into your skin as you nod, trying your best to even out the sobs still leaving you. And slowly but surely, the stream slows and your breath evens out enough to get at least a few words out. 
“Okay. Okay, okay. I’m okay.” 
“Y/N?” 
“Hm?” 
“As much as I like holding you, you’re freezing. Take a shower first and we can do this all you want, okay?” 
You pull back, wiping the tears off your cheeks and giving him a nod. He gives you a small smile, before placing his hands on your shoulders and leading you down towards the bathroom. And you don’t miss all the posters and pictures he has on his walls - one from each season of Attack of Titan, a few of him and Armin, and even one of him and Lana flipping off the camera together. 
He pushes you into the bathroom and immediately turns on the shower all the way to the hottest setting, before turning around and putting his hands on his hips. 
“Towels, clothes, shampoo. There’s soap in there already and take as long as you want. Sit in here for three days if you have to just- do-do whatever you have to do and-” 
You pick up the bottle of shampoo, the lavender scented Pantene, the one that you’ve been using since you were fifteen. And you know, you know that Eren’s atrocious ass uses a three in one hair and conditioner so it’s not his. 
“Eren.” 
“Hm?” 
“Did you just happen to have the brand of shampoo that I use?” 
“N-no. Those are Lana’s.” 
“Then why are they unopened?” you ask, giving him a smirk. 
He glares at you, before rolling his eyes and holding your face. And now he’s leaning so close, so close that your lips are only a few feet away from yours, when he talks. 
“You know why you can’t make fun of me for keeping a spare of your shampoos in my house?” he whispers, green eyes burning in yours. 
“Why?” you whisper back, stomach lurching. 
“Because you’re actually here. I knew you’d come back to me.” he responds, giving your cheek a pinch before walking out. 
And when you watch him walk out, giving you one last smile before he shuts the door, you can’t help but roll your eyes. Typical Eren. Funny, irritating, and soft all in one. 
He’s the same as you left him. 
--
You pad out of the shower, Eren’s hoodie and sweatpants ridiculously huge on you, as you follow the sweet smell into the kitchen. Eren is leaned over the counter, sliding vegetables into two bowls of ramen as you walk in. 
“Hey.” 
“Hi. Took a while. Thought you died in there.” Eren responds, pressing his hands to your skin to test how warm they were. 
“I almost wish I did.” you respond, laughing. 
Except Eren doesn’t find it funny and instead he’s dropping the utensils and standing at your side. 
“Y/N.” 
“I was joking!” 
“Nothing about that was funny. Don’t ever joke about that.” he responds, rummaging through the drawers at your side before pulling out a little tube of gel. 
Eren taps the top of the counter, which you jump onto, before he takes his place in between your legs. His hands are focused on reading the instructions, forehead all scrunched up in concentration.
“What’s that?” 
“It’s like this…scar ointment or whatever. Helps things heal better, I want to use it on that cut on your pretty face.” he responds, twisting it open and squirting some on his finger. 
He brings his hands to your face, eyes intently focused on your cheek. You hiss the second his finger makes contact with your skin, the tingling sensation catching you off guard. 
“I’m sorry sweetheart, I know it hurts.” he whispers, smothering the cold gel down the side of your eye. 
“I-I fell on the pavement. My knees are pretty bad too, Eren.” you whisper, which he nods at. 
After he finishes, he’s carefully sliding the ends of your pants off and carefully placing the ointment on each of the jagged marks on your legs. And you eye the bowls of ramen at your side - knowing instantly that the one without mushrooms is yours - and reach for the food. The broth is so warm it soothes the aching feeling in your throat, still seasoned to perfection the way Eren always makes it. 
“Eren.” 
“Hm?” 
“Can I ask you a weird question?” 
“Sure.” 
“Are you and Lana dating?” 
He looks up from your leg and gives you a devilish smirk. And then starts laughing. Like full on, crouched over, tears from his eyes laughing.  
“Okay. It wasn’t that funny.” you murmur, rubbing your hands against the warm bowl and frowning. 
“Oh god, Y/N. Jesus-” 
“It’s a normal question! She lives with you, you trusted her to come get me, and you guys have a picture together in the hallway.” 
“Are you jealous?” he asks, standing up and leaning straight into your space. 
“Absolutely not.” 
“Are too.” 
“Am not.” 
“You don’t need to get all embarrassed. Watching you kiss Ricky James made me want to break something, preferably his neck.” 
You swallow hard at the mention of Ricky again, the thought of him and what happened was so far away because you were with Eren. In his space, in your shared bubble, after so long. And he catches on too fast because he’s already profusely apologizing. 
“Hey. I didn’t mean to bring him up, I-I’m not trying to push you into telling me what happened it’s just-” 
“No. No, Eren. It’s okay. I know. I-” 
You breathe in hard and put the bowl of ramen down and reach for his hands instead. You keep your eyes focused on them - on the little mole on his left hand, the feeling of his knuckles underneath your fingers, and on him squeezing your hands three times before you start talking.  
“Ricky and I were faking the relationship for PR. Since London Boy and all that, it was Danny and Sareen’s idea. That-that’s why I stopped talking to you, I-I felt bad. And I was ashamed that I was even doing it, I-I don’t know. The Little Women press and all that, it would just get people to stream and talk. Make me a triple threat. And then today, I- He told me he liked me. And I said I couldn’t do that right now. That I don’t like him back. I went to take out the trash because it was so awkward and then I was going to go home but he- he locked me out. And when I asked to come back in, he repeated the same words to me. That he couldn’t do that right now.” 
Eren lifts your hands, still locked with his, and presses a kiss to the top of your knuckles, as you continue. His lips burn your skin, still. 
“I was out there and it-it was cold. And then I heard the cars and I saw seven paparazzi trucks, right on the porch. Ricky, his address isn’t leaked. No-no one knew I was there or that he was but they all showed up, right when I was out there and-” 
“He called them, didn’t he?” Eren asks, his tone so harsh, so unyielding that it almost doesn’t sound like him. 
“Yeah. And I ran, for so long. I- they got a picture. A few, I know they did and I was just so, so scared that I was going to be out there forever, that I was all alone and they were just going to-” 
Eren reaches forward, wrapping you in his arms for what feels like the fiftieth time tonight, but you welcome it. Focus on his heart beating under your ear, running your fingers over his fish tattoo on his bicep, and on his soft, steady breaths. 
“Eren.” 
“Hm.” 
“You didn’t say anything. What are you thinking about?” 
“What I’m thinking isn’t productive for you to know right now.” 
You look up at him, giving him a questioning look. 
“Drop it, Y/N.” 
“No. Tell me. I’m sure you’re mad and all but-” 
“Mad? I’m fucking furious, I’m livid. That he fucking locked you out and left you in the cold. You-you could have been seriously hurt. You are hurt. And not only that, the fucking paparazzi. You-you ran in the cold, you fell, you can’t stop crying and-and- I’m going to kill this asshole when I see him next because it’s his fault you’re feeling like this.” 
“Eren.” 
“No. Shut up, Y/N. I’m being serious. I-I don’t like seeing you like this and don’t tell me not to. He hurt you. It’s that simple.” 
You deflate, knowing Eren too well to know that he won’t drop this. Especially when he’s overly passionate, deep in the feeling right now. 
“Okay. But can you just be here for me right now? I need you here and not all….tense and mad. B-Be soft. And warm.” 
He stops, the frustration in his forehead dissolving as he takes a breath and smiles at you. Not fully, but it does the job. 
“Okay. I can do that. Let’s watch Fruits Basket. And then go to bed.” 
“You hate Fruits Basket.” 
“But I love you. Enough to watch your weird bestiality adjacent show and pretend to like it.” 
You smile and he reaches forward to pinch your cheeks. 
“Look at that smile. There she is. There’s my sweet girl.” he whispers, voice all tangled in his throat. 
--
You wake up to an empty bed, Eren’s side cold. And you pull his hoodie on before padding downstairs to find Eren’s phone pressed to his ear. He gives you a wave and points to the plate - a mix of eggs, french toast, and fruits - perfectly placed to perfection. 
You give him a smile and he walks off, taking the phone with him. You frown as you watch him disappear, jabbing your fork through the cantaloupe. 
What is he talking about that’s so important he doesn’t want you to hear? 
You jump off of the stool and quietly pad towards the direction he walked, hiding in the hallway. He’s leaning against the wall, staring at the picture right across - one of Levi and Hange kissing your cheeks at the vow renewal - and angle yourself to hear his words. 
“Is he okay?” 
“I’m glad. You tell me if you need anything else, okay?” 
“Okay, Coco. I missed you too, yeah?” 
Who the fuck is Coco?
He hangs up and you immediately scramble back to the kitchen, trying your best to stay inconspicuous as he comes back and gives you a smile. It doesn’t reach his eyes, the expression on his face almost tired. 
“Hey sleepyhead. You okay?” 
“Mhm. Food is really good, Eren.” 
He gives you a smile as he sits at your side, eyes focused on you as you eat your food. He places both of your phones in front of you, and you spot yours with nearly a hundred notifications. But when you reach for it, Eren grabs your hand in the air and locks it on his own instead. 
“Just-wait. Eat first.” he says, his tone hollow.
You turn your head to the side and take in Eren’s expression, downtrodden and uncharacteristically unexpressive. The complete opposite of Eren yesterday - moony eyes and soft smiles. 
“Eren.” 
“Y/N. If I ask you to do this for me, can you trust me and listen?” 
“No. You-what’s wrong? You’re being weird.” you ask, reaching for his hand. 
He looks over, the look indiscernible, as he leans forward and presses a kiss to your cheek. 
“You-I took care of most of it, okay? Levi and Hange are coming. Just, don’t panic. You-it’s okay.” 
“Eren. You’re scaring me. Just tell me.” 
He takes a deep breath, cracking the knuckles in your hand as he nervously talks. 
“You-your pictures leaked. The ones of you running last night. And-and people started speculating really fast - wondering why you were running and crying on the night your album released instead of celebrating it. And-and then Ricky, he tweeted a bunch of things.” 
You pale. And reach for your phone, which Eren stops again. 
“They’re lies. Obviously. You don’t need to read them, not yet. And Lana told me she’s ready to back you up, whatever you want, when you need it. But, that’s not-” 
“What, Eren? Just spit it out.” you respond, frantically. 
“They- Ricky’s fans are mad at you. They’re sending you death threats.” 
“Oh.” 
You deflate, staring at the cold mess of breakfast on your plate. Death threats. Hate, you’re no stranger too. Of people commenting on your looks, how bad your singing is, how lame you are. But wishing you were dead? Full on, unbothered and cursing your existence? 
“And not just you, but your family too.” he whispers, watching your face fall. 
Your family. Your parents, Colt, Falco-
“Excuse me. What did you just say? 
Eren doesn’t respond and the tears fall immediately from your eyes, hot and angry as he reaches forward, immediately swiping them away. His expression's pained, he knows this all too well.
“I sent your family a security detail. Don’t worry. Colt was only minorly injured and-” 
You stand up and grab Eren’s shirt, bundling the fabric into a fist in your hands, as you glare at him. 
“Injured? What the fuck do you mean injured, Eren?” 
He sighs, lifting his hands to move yours, and hold them. You’re still clenching hard, so hard you’re sure you’re drawing blood, but he’s doing his best to uncurl your hands as he talks. 
“They threw a brick through the window. And the glass, Colt was sitting right there. I was just on the phone with Falco, he said he’s doing better. The security detailing has medical so you don’t have to worry about that again and they’re both okay and-” 
“No part of this is okay, Eren! Quit saying it’s okay when it’s not! They almost killed my brothers.” 
“Y/N.” 
“No. No, this is horrible, Eren. They-they don’t do any of this stuff. Falco’s barely thirteen. And Colt - he’s going to college. He’s not a celebrity, he’s not a singer, he’s just a student. How is he supposed to go out after this? Why- how is it supposed to be normal? And now, they’re going to be like us. They’re going to feel like they’re trapped in this fucking suffocating ass fish bowl and everyone’s watching and laughing at them and they just-” 
“Y/N. Stop. It’s not going to-” 
“Falco’s too soft for this. He’s just a kid, Eren. I can’t- no. This isn’t fair. Eren, they didn’t even do anything. They’re literally just related to me, they just love me and they’re getting hurt because of it. You- you’re probably getting dragged in the mud too. Everyone who helps me gets subjected to this, loving me comes with this big thing behind me and I can’t even keep people who get it with me. I let you go when you were the only person who understood and I messed it all up and got myself involved with Ricky James of all people and-” 
“Y/N. Stop. Please."
You sit flat on Eren’s floor, head in your hands, and cry, teardrops falling straight onto the floor. And Eren’s sitting there with you, with your big mess of jumbled feelings and mistakes, and trying his best to help you with it. 
That’s how Levi and Hange find you two, after pocketing the spare key Eren told them about. After he insistently called them and payed for a private jet, going on and on about how Y/N needed them. And here you two are, despite their original conceived notions that you two were fighting, on the floor, in each other’s arms. 
“Some things never change, huh?” Hange whispers. 
“Yeah. They keep fucking crying every time we see them.” he whispers back. 
--
Between Levi and Hange - Jean, Mikasa, and Connie who make it out that night - and Eren and Lana, they fix things. Most things. 
Ricky’s narrative about you is clear cut - half-true and half-fake. Your team forced him to date you and defend you for PR purposes, after the Girlfriend incident. There was an agreement that you two would write certain songs, make certain appearances, and support each other. 
But then Ricky turns the gate. Says that you’ve deeply, severely hurt him. That you led him on, that you used him to boost your own ego, and that you were dangerously obsessed with fame and not him. That you were all things - heartless, fake, that he doubted if you were even a real person. A glorious pop-star, empty and hollow on the inside.
And people jump on it fast. Citing the fact that you would throw away your friendship with Historia to be famous, that you stopped dating Eren when he stopped being successful, that you can go to tours but not to Mikasa or Jean’s birthday parties. 
The worst part? Ricky lied, but the things they pointed out were true. Every mistake you make is on display and that people make it a point to draw attention o it. That you really were in too deep, too deep into pleasing Sareen and Danny, and being a triple threat that you forgot that they were all there too. 
Eren, especially. Sweet, sweet Eren who saved you, who held you when you needed him. 
You look over at him and Lana, the two of them very aggressively debating how to use their last turn of their daily Wordle, and feel your heart deflate. 
You dropped the ball. You’ll never make it up to him. 
Lana, in her infinite kindness, has chosen to share her own story, as a corroboration for yours. That Ricky taunted, mocked, and harassed her the entire time they were dating. That you're anything but the things he says. Because she’s had enough and she’ll do it to help out her Tinky-Winky. (Much to Eren’s dismay, he hates that you’re both becoming closer as time goes on.) 
And to complement the announcement, Lana asked for one thing. To go out in style. You wrote a song with her and promised her that she was going to be the lead actress in the music video. A girl rage moment, like The Man. Danny and Sareen approve the move, making no comments or concerns about anything else that happened, and ask to be involved when the time comes. 
You sit on it for a few days. Till you’re ready. But where you are now - with these people - needs to stay for a little longer. Before you brace everything again. 
“Yo.” 
You smile, opening up space for Connie on the couch for you. 
“Hi Con.” 
“Deep in your thoughts there, princess. Thinking about how your album is about to go Multi-Platinum?” 
“No. Just the entire thing.” you respond, frowning. 
Connie rolls his eyes, reaching forward to squish your cheeks way too hard. 
“Ricky, when I catch you, Ricky-” Connie says under his breath, 
You snort, reaching forward to push Connie off. You focus back on Eren and Lana, who are now pulling each other's hair and a nice string of insults, as Mikasa and Levi brew their tea, entirely unbothered in the back. 
And when the screen in front of you flashes, when your third album goes Multi-Platinum after a week of being released, they’re all climbing on you. Jean and Mikasa are hollering in the back, Connie and Lana are jostling you in the air and pressing kisses to your cheek, and Eren, Levi, and Hange smile at you, the three of them enveloped in their own hug, across the way.
You split your separate ways at the end of the week, when you’re ready. Connie, Jean, and Mikasa return to set, Lana and Eren are gone with the wind, and Levi and Hange disappear again. 
When you sit on your plane back home, it sits in. How lonely this entire thing is. How a week full of your friends who love you only happened because of this sickening thing. That it's not a given, that they're presence is only in the bad times and almost never the good.
Your phone buzzes in your lap and you pick up your phone to read the notification. 
eren: don’t be a stranger. fish like to swim in schools, not alone. 
It’s something that rings in your mind, time and time again. When everyone else wins the war, when you keep performing and letting them take and take, for the sake of the work. For the art, for your dream.
And when you give up acting, singing, and dancing at the end of it all and make zero intentions to ever do any of this again, the question still bothers you.
If fish like to swim in schools, why did Eren push you so far away? Why was he so intent on swimming alone? Where you couldn't follow?
eren: I'm not saying that for you. and I know that this is selfish but...
eren: I need you just as much as you need me.
.
.
.
Fucking liar.
--
next part linked here
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