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isa-loves-you · 1 year ago

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How you meet and realizing you like them | The group chat.

PART 2

-Tanner-

You were a semi-big youtuber and twitch streamer; you mostly got popular from you and your friends playing dumb games and making eachother laugh, and it seemed to make other people laugh too because now you're making money from it. You weren't doing anything really, just scrolling through your social media to see what was going on in the world, then you saw that you had a new friend request on discord.

Isaacwhy: Hi im isaac. I don't know if you know who i am but me and my friends do youtube and i have an upcoming project that includes me putting my friend Tanner also known as BigT through my version of the bachelor. The reason I am messaging you is because my friend Tanner has a big crush on you and we want to surprise him with you for the last round. If you don't want to participate with my idea that is totally okay, please message me back if you have any questions.

You sat there and thought about it for a second; It sounded like so much fun and you could make someone happy and also gain some new views yourself from it. You messaged Isaac back to tell him that you would do it, you guys spent a couple minutes chatting explaining what would be going on and when they would introduce you. Basically they would put you in a secret discord with the other contestants and once tanner is down to the last to the last rose he will choose the winner. Once he chooses then isaac will pretend that the game is over and that tanner and the winner will get a date, but then he will tell tanner that he could choose the winner or you then you will get five minutes to convince tanner to choose you for the final rose. Seems pretty easy you thought, and it sounds really fun you couldn't wait to shoot the video.

After waiting a week it was finally time to record the vid.isaac had gathered all the contestants into a chat with him and tanner and you got to sit in a secret one with isaac so when it got down to the last person he would message you to join. An hour went by until Isaac told you that Tanner was picking the winner. “Yayy congratulations emmi you have been gifted the last rose on the discord bachelor, how do you feel tanner?” “it feels so good isaac now i don't have to cry myself to sleep because i'm so alone “ everyone laughed and pretend to cheer tanner on but thats when isaac dropped the bomb on him “ wait what's this we have a secret contestant that i may or may not have placed last on purpose”. Everyone got quiet to listen to what Isaac was going to say next “ladies and gentlemen, let's introduce our secret contestant Y/N!!!” “hey everybody im super excited to see yall” no one spoke at all, they were in shock that isaac got you to come. “OH MY GOD AHHH'' tanner screamed like a teenage girl meeting taylor swift “ok ok ok tanner calm down i know i'm the best, but since we now have a new player we still have to play by the rules” “ nuh uh i know who i choose, i give you y/n this rose as a symbol of my love”. Tanner stuck out his hand at his camera with a funny seductive look on his face. You and others bursted out laughing, man you don't know who this guy was but he sure could make your stomach hurt from laughing and it was a bonus that he was super cute. “No tanner dont forget about emmi over here. Since you already got 5 minutes with emmi alone, i am giving you 5 minutes wut y/n then you will decide who you will actually pick”. Oh god you're actually getting nervous, your hands got all sweaty and you stutterd like an idiot when isaac asked if you were ready, isaac moved you and tanner, and himself into another chat and tanner changed his background to look like a fancy restaurant. “So tanner, isaac told me that you have a big crush on me. Is that true?” Tanner just looked at you with eyes wide and mouth open like when Roger Rabbit sees Jessica rabbit. You couldn't laugh at his goofiness , you have to admit that you were actually having a good time.

Five minutes passed and it was nothing but talking and laughing at tanner being silly “Okay boys and girls now it's actually time for tanner to pick the winner” isaac interrupted. “Hmmm it's a tough pick isaac. Emmi i did have an awesome time with you and you were my first choice, but I'm sorry y/n is my choice. I WILL ALWAYS CHOOSE THEM NO MATTER WHAT GIRL COMES UP TO ME!”. Everyone laughed as tanner acted like a wwe wrestler at smackdown, but you were just staring at this man that chose you over 10 other people you couldn't help but sorta fall for.

-Yumi-

You’ve been really go friends with isaac since highschool and you guy stayed to be really good friends out of highschool. Isaac had always talked about being a youtuber and you always supported the idea and even offering your help with the editing; which was also helping you since you really liked working you on your own time, working with a good friend of yours, and also make pretty good money from your passion. Not only did you work with isaac with his editing but you also did the editing for the group chat podcast; even though you did all the time consuming work for them they had no idea who you were since you didn't live in austin and only complicated through isaac. You were editing on a Friday night so Isaac could upload the video the next day. You were almost done. All you had to do was look over the footage to make sure everything was good but you kept on getting distracted by yumi. You have never met Yumi but you see him everyday and you get used to his face, sometimes it makes your day better. He always had something witty to say or had a good joke to tell, and you sorta started to have a crush on him. Isaac knew about your little crush even though you never said anything he could just tell whenever you asked how they all were and you always asked about yumi first. You were done and just sent the file to isaac when he texted you.

Mr.Famous: Thank you!

y/n: no problem. Just text me when you have something for me

Mr.Famous: I actually do. How about you come to Austin and come on the podcast?

You couldn't believe it. Going to Austin and maybe seeing Yumi for the first time, and also seeing your friend that you haven't seen in a long time.

Two days passed since you talked to isaac about coming to austin and now you just got your suitcase from baggage claim and stepped into your uber. Isaac said that he was setting things up for you at the house so he couldn't come and get you from the airport, some friend he is.

At the group chat mansion:

“Tanner don't spill that cereal on the couch they are almost here” “Whos almost here” tanner said with milk dripping out of his mouth “y/n” “whos dat?'' Larry chimed in as he and the others walked in behind him “Are you guys serious i told you two days ago. Y/n my very good friend since highschool that edits my videos and the podcast”. Everyone all passed a look pretending like they knew what their friend was talking about “ you know what i'm not going to say anything-” isaac was cut off mid sentence by the door bell ringing.

You heard isaac shouting from the other side of the front door so you decided to help out whoever was getting their ass chewed out by isaac and ring the doorbell. The yelling stopped and you waited a second before Isaac opened the door with arms wide open and a smile. You and Isaac hugged for a good second since this was the first time you've seen him in almost 2 years since he moved from pennsylvania. You guys finished your hug and grabbed your bags to come in, you were a nervous wreck due to it being the first time meeting the others. You stood in the living room looking at the 4 in front of you “ hey everyone, it's finally good to see your guyses faces' ' you went up to hug them all. Larry took the hug with a big smile on his face, tanner put on his seductive face like he always do and gave you a hug like a like a rich person would, nick gave you a hug then i medentalty put the camera in your face and asked you to say hi to their fans. Now it was time to hug yumi, now yumi did not like physical affection and everyone in the house knew that besides you. Everyone watched and waited for you to make your way to yumi, but you could tell that yumi was uncomfortable with the whole hug thing so you just dabbed him up;which surprised him but he was okay with it.

You spent the rest of the day with the boys but it wasn't long since you didn't show up to the house until 6. Isaac had to go get the mail from the Po. Box before the mail office closed (wait a great friend honestly!) Larry and Nick went with him and Tanner had decided to stream. It was now going on 11 and you were getting tired so you texted isaac where you were supposed to sleep.

Y/n:Hey i tried to stay up but im really jet lagged, where am i sleeping?

Mr.Famous: Sorry I won't be back for another 30 mins. Ask yumi to show you the guest room.

OH great, now you have to disturb someone because you finally get out of the house since you work from home, and the person you do have to bother is your crush. That's soooo awesome. You hyped yourself up before you stepped into the kitchen where yumi was eating something “hey i don't mean to bother you but could you show me where the guest room is because isaac won't be back for a while” “yeah no problem”. Yumi put his food down and walked before you did so he could show you, he was about to walk up the stairs until he looked back at you to see you struggling to put the handle on your bag down so you could carry it. Before you could react to what was happening Yumi grabbed the handle and pushed it down so he could grab and carry your bag up the stairs for you. “Oh you don't have to do that i would have gotten it but thank you” yumi didn't say anything until you guys got to the top of the stair “it's no big deal just being a help” he continued walking until he got to an open door. You looked into the room to see a bed, a closet, a desk that had a pc with a bunch of different electronic stuff around it, and next to the bed was a pile of plushies that you've always seen in the back of videos. “Sorry Isaac made us put some stuff in here since we don't use this room, but all the stuff on the desk works if you need to use them” Yumi said as he walked past you to put your bag on the bed. “Oh no it's okay i don't mind” you smiled towards him to assure you that everything was okay by you “well goodnight then” yumi said as he just stood in the doorway staring at you “yeah you too have a goodnight”. You guys just stood and looked at each other for a second until the unthinkable happened; yumi reached down and awkwardly hugged you “sorry i just feel bad for earlier”. You just watched him walk to his room with a dumb smile on your face, you couldn't believe it. Thee Yumi, the man you have a little crush on, gave you a hug. Man life is great, you thought to yourself while you drifted off to sleep.

#softwilly x reader #the group chat #yumi x reader #the group chat podcast #tooyumi #yumi tgc #tgc #yumi #softwilly #isaacwhy #larry croft #BigT

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glasyasbutch · 7 months ago

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playlist: daybreak

this one goes out to the dead wife we're not having phone sex with

link to playlist on spotify

explanations below the cut

1. May It Be by 2Cellos

[Instrumental]

So the reason this is on here is bekah said "you need to find an instrumental that's like. two cello duet. that's daybreak to me" and i said you know what you're so right and spent multiple hours sorting through instrumental songs until I came upon this one, and in my lotr loving heart, I knew that I couldn't let her go.

If you're NOT a slut like me. May It Be is the closing credits song on the first movie, and its an elven blessing passed on to Sam and Frodo as they set out on their journey. About how darkness will come but they have a duty to fight on through it until the darkness too falls away.

And i just think. I JUST THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there's something so samfrodo about daybreak in the sense of like. They too left the comfort and safety of their home to join a party of adventurers to fight for something far bigger than themselves and in doing so formed a bond of intimacy that transcends platonic or romantic or sexual and then after it all they return home and they have everything set out for them. The hero's welcome, the world made safe, the comfort of a simple life with each other. but they don't get to keep it. "the shire was saved but not for me" and they have to be PARTED FOREVER because the process of their journey turned them into incompatible creatures even in their closeness and -

also its two cellos and bekah asked so nicely.

2. Battle Cry by The Family Crest

Oh my love, my heart, don't cry / We were born to die / For this moment, for all time / Oh I will fight for you, I will die for you

PALADIN ! ON ! PALADIN ! ROMANCE !

3. The World Is Ugly by My Chemical Romance

These are the lies and the lives of the taken / These are their hearts, but their hearts don't beat like ours / They burn 'cause they are all afraid, but mine beats twice as hard / 'Cause the world is ugly, but you're beautiful to me

bekah said some gay people got engaged to this at her mcr show last year and i should put this on daybreak and i said okay

so fun fact, in the many many bodies day and break had had before these ones, they slowly fell in love and were together for hundreds of years. and then. maybe 200? 250? years ago. they had a NASTY fucking divorce. like. Nasty. and hadn't been Together together since.this song is break to day, realizing over the past few lifetimes that they had fallen back in love with day.

they had to go through watching her die in some Really awful ways (the world is ugly), and loving her even harder with every horrible event (you're beautiful to me), waiting, just waiting, for day to realize (are you thinking of me like im thinking of you), and it all finally collapsing into inevitability the moment they stepped out of the aegis into the world of mortal emotion and mortal passion and mortal loss for the first time (their hearts don't beat like ours) and god. it's all so fragile. i have to say it. i love you i love you i love you i love you

4. Lover of Mine by 5 Seconds of Summer

I'll never give you away, 'cause I've already made that mistake / And if my name never fell off your lips again, I know it'd be such a shame / When I take a look at my life and all of my crimes, you're the only thing I think I got right

the last song was break falling for day the second time, this one's day falling for break again.

day was the one who really initiated the last breakup (who's surprised). he and break got into a really bad fight about whether what they were doing (dying over and over with no end) was Good or Not, break died soon after and had to get resculpted, day spent the ENTIRE time bitching to her partially made clay form and then the second break was back up said "you're welcome, by the way, for not leaving you dead. never talk to me again"

this is the song for the regret that's built up over the last couple hundred years, once the anger faded and he realized that nothing hurt more than seeing someone else take the title of sculptor because he hadn't been there for her like he used to, she hadn't wanted him like she used to, and the absolute cascade of love he was almost ashamed to admit to having again but he just couldn't hold it back anymore

5. I Go Where You Go by Bell X1

What if they need us, the other side of the world / Can our voice down the line really save them? / I go where you go, I go where you go

This song is about people leaving their kids to go on a romance re-sparking vacation, yes, but it's also about the decision to leave the only home you've ever known and the only purpose you've ever been given because you think you need to to save them, and because the OG party is so determined and so fragile and you're starting to realize you couldn't live with yourself if they got hurt so you need to save them too, but more than anything, it's because break thought she was going to be leaving by yourself and you said. um???? no me too

(not to samfrodo at you again but its so. i'm going to mordor alone. sure you are. and im coming with you.)

6. Her Song by The Family Crest

The weight of the world is resting on your back / And everyone you know says it gets much easier / When the weight of the world falls slack / Kick up your feet and let's move together, I'll set the sail if you lift the tether / All of the times that we've shared together, all of the sound and all kinds of weather / This is the way it should be forever, this is the way it could be forever

a second family crest song has hit the playlist.

it's so. this is the OG party extended honeymoon phase. everything is beautiful and we're young and in love and on top of the world and we do everything together and we're never apart and we have a rhythm going and it's just perfect. this is the way it could be forever. don't you just love the ending?

7. Ashes - Part 2 by The Struts

You were taken from me, but I can still see that smile / And I know that you tell me "move on", but it's taking a while / I find myself laughing at things you would say, and how through the bad times you'd say "it's okay" / You're living in me now and that's where you'll stay

the transition between the ending of the last song and the opening lines of this song makes me actually want to throw up on the floor. just btw.

also courtesy of bekah, this song is for the moments after the rift collapses with break still in it, thorn blasted back, sobbing and holding the shards of her god piece in bloody hands. the moments in which kez looks pale because they don't have any spells, and callie's not here but she wouldn't either, and there's actually no way to get her back without risking some horrible twist of the monkey's paw. she's really gone.

but day's going to take her home. day's going to take her home. a year and a day.

(also! the first verse about "drunk on the ceiling is not the best place" is ABSOLUTELY about the like full week long bender that day and kez went on in the immediate aftermath to cope. it was BAD and it was MESSY. and its not super important but it is special to me.)

8. She Ain't You by New Hollow

There's nothing, nothing on her mind, and she's far too, far too kind / So miss, me kiss, one more time, at least for old time's sake / 'Cause she's got your hair, and she's got your eyes, and she's got your exact same horoscope sign / She may be pretty, she's something new, but that means nothing / She ain't you

courtesy of morgan. the entire playlist could be this song 20 times in a row quite honestly. it's just. Day spent !!!! all that time!!!!! sculpting her to be as exact as possible to the old version. she tried so hard to get it right, so patient, so careful, like she always did. but handmade is handmade, and the differences are subtle, but they're There. And they're not fixable.

9. She Knows My Name by The Family Crest

So it's not that bad, when she goes / 'Cause she sings my name like it's a sad, sad song / Oh it's not that bad when she's away, that bad when she's away, that bad when she's away / She knows my name, she knows my name, she knows it well / And she knows my face, she knows my face, more than herself / But I wish her well, I wish her well, I wish her well

FAMILY CREST THREE FOR THREE . SORRY THEY WROTE EVERY SONG ABOUT MY D&D CHARACTERS' DOOMED ROMANCE.

It's day at break astral, and astral at day, and it's both of them at each other at once, and they love each other so much. but they also don't, how could they? they're different. break is astral now, and day is still day, which is a problem, because day now is Very different from the day that lives in the collective conscious flooding astral's nervous system. they might have to go. they might have to leave. if they do - i wish you well.

10. Boston by Augustana

You don't know me, and you don't even care, oh yeah / You said you don't know me, and you don't wear my chains, oh yeah / She said I think I'm going to Boston, think I'll start a new life / Think I'll start it over where no one knows my name

Day leaving the aegis ... TWO!!!!!! "You don't know me and you don't wear my chains" is the lyric of ALL TIME here, that really sums up why Day left.

It wasn't because Astral wasn't Break. He knew that would happen. He knew. He'd done it a million times before. He left because he had too many ties to everyone else - to Callie and Arthur and Thorn, and god, so many to Kez. Ties that Break had, but Astral didn't, and more importantly, Astral had no way of putting back on, while Day had no way of taking off.

also I hope "she knows my name, she knows it well" into "i'm going to boston where no one knows my name" makes you want to put your head in a hydraulic press as much as it makes me want to do that.

11. Best Intentions by Hodera

And when you picture this, I just want you to picture both my eyes looking intently / Hear my words as free verse poetry, feel my hands painting your body / Don't regret you ever met me, 'cause I know you couldn't love me / But if I must be a memory, won't you frame me / In a way that you will smile when you're picturing my face / And then I promise I won't call you like I did when I was drunk in Austin, Texas

courtesy of morgan. they left on bad terms, but not hating ones. and as much as they try to keep it final. every once in a while. they get a new one of astral's memories bleeding into the back of their mind through the collective consciousness. they're sure astral gets some of theirs. which is sort of the same thing as calling someone drunk from austin, texas.

Also wanted to throw morgan's thoughts in here: "I'm currently facedown thinking about calling the og adventure 'one crazy summer' and how it would feel to put it down so casually like that".

12. Long + Lost by Florence & The Machine

Without your love, I'll be / So long and lost, are you missing me ? / Is it too late to come on home? / All those bridges are old stone / Is it too late to come on home? / Can the city forgive? I hear its sad song

ripped unashamedly from the playlist for isa/tore (another d&d couple of mine going through a died and came back wrong kinda scenario. ask me about them.)

25 years is a long time to be away from someone. Even if they're hundreds of years old, 25 years is more than a blip in memory.

13. Saturn by Sleeping At Last

You taught me the courage of stars before you left / How light carries on endlessly even after death / With shortness of breath you explained the infinite / How rare and beautiful it is to even exist

saturn is a song Of All Time. it's a song for when you lie on the shower floor at 3am and think about how much you love everyone in your life and everyone no longer in your life and everyone who's in your life but one day won't be and how it mattered even if they left and how it mattered because they left and you just love a lot of people which means you lose a lot of people and that's. okay.

14. A Duet for Our Time: Of Anguish by Columbus State University Trombone Ensemble

[Instrumental]

once again. courtesy of bekah. i'm kissing you and your music taste so tenderly on the mouth.

if you don't want to listen to 6 minutes of trombones and get emo Real about two made up guys who loved each other too hard to lose each other and lost each other anyway. get out

#day #daybreak #narrative campaign #playlists #if you're in narrative campaign this one's got backstory lore and there's definitely parts of it that have been Implied but not explicitly #stated in game. so technically there's spoilers. and they're like. 1/3 of the playlist lmao #if you see something that you didn't know. forget about it . or just be so cool.

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laurzvahll · 9 months ago

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for the rockstar phos au, what's the equivalent of the winter arc here? whats going to happen to antarc, and will it give phos ptsd and hallucinations like in canon?

HELLO ANON!! Thank u for the ask😆😆 answering from my phone rn because I didn’t want to wait.

This post might get long so im gonna cut it here

ALRIGHT, a little bit on Antarc and the winter arc. Just a warning that characters might be a little ooc im trying my best LOL. This isn’t 100% set in stone, and if people have better suggestions or ideas I will be very glad to hear them considering I just thought of this AU for funsies so the routes I made up may not be the best there are. If that makes sense.

So, initially I wanted Phos to be invited by Dia to a holiday party or maybe just a normal house party towards the beginning of December. All the college gems are celebrating being on winter break and whatnot. Phos goes because I don’t think Phos would reject a party invite, but also because it’s mentioned that there’s a possibility Cinnabar might be there. Spoiler alert, Cinnabar is in fact not at the party. But it’s okay because Phos takes this as an opportunity to get to know others more. They’re having quite a bit of fun, but once the other ‘gems’ start asking if they’re going to submit their college application and join them, Phos avoids the questions and decided to ask Dia if there’s a quiet room where they could take a quick break.

Dia leads Phos to the room and Phos closes the door behind them, only to realize there’s already someone else there too! And this is none other than Antarc, who im thinking of making some sort of exchange student to explain why they’re only around some months of the year. Phos sits down somewhere and wants to start a conversation but Antarc looks very busy (on their phone, totally busy). But Phos starts talking anyway after being bored for a couple seconds, and while Antarc is very hesitant at first, it’s not long before they both end up moving to a small couch in the room to continue their conversation. I’d like to think they talked for hours, Phos doing most of the talking ofc but Antarc seemed content with it. At some point, Dia comes back in surprise to see them still here and lets them know that the party is over. Phos says they better walk back to their apartment, and Antarc offers to walk them so Phos wouldnt have to walk home alone at like 3 in the morning. So they walk to Phos's apartment and Phos offers to exchange numbers. And thats pretty much how their first meeting goes! :3

I have a bunch of little scenarios thought out for the time they spent together but i dont want the post to get tooo long so just know that im thinking Phos's help towards Antarc's 'work' would be helping Antarc write a song maybe perhaps NOT TOO SURE YET but i do want this AU to revolve a lot around music :p

As for what happens to Antarc, (THIS MAY CHANGE) sorry guys but in my AU i am NOT letting Antarc die i cannnottt. But i Will let Phos believe Antarc is absolutely dead. The only reason im not letting them die completely is bc i want them to come back like at the end of canon where theyre turned into a lunarian. Im not entirely sure how im going to go about it, but theres going to be an incident where Phos and Antarc will get hurt, and Phos will only be able to watch unable to help Antarc at all just like in canon. Antarc is going to disappear, most likely to a hospital lawl, and the accident will make them have to go back home without Phos even knowing if they survived. For a reason i havent yet decided, Phos's texts cant reach Antarc either so that rly makes them believe Antarc issss x_x.

Phos's mental health plummets, their guilt is immense and they start not being able to sleep because when they do sleep their dreams are filled with that accident replaying over and over. They always believe to see Antarc out of the corner of their eye, and they do have full on hallucinations like in canon and their ptsd, i will not erase that important part of their character 🙏

Thats pretty much it for now sorry this is so long i rly didnt think it was gonna be this long LMAOOO. thank u sm for the ask im very happy to be able to talk about my AU xP

#hnk #houseki no kuni #hnk phos #hnk antarcticite #hnk spoilers #houseki no kuni spoilers #hnk au #land of the lustrous #rockstar phos au

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fortemelody · 5 months ago

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growing up a child of divorce and neglect meant a lot of traumatic moments obviously- but for the sake of this post we’re throwing most of that aspect away to talk about a smaller issue that i’ve come to realize holds a lot more weight than i ever thought it would.

my dream as a kid was always to have all of the stuff i collected in one space. dvds, cds, video game consoles, toys, plushies, figures, you name it. and until i was about 13 or 14, the room of the house i was neglected at (dads) felt so absolutely barren becus i didn’t have the chance to really go outside and buy stuff for it, and bringing stuff back and forth (unless it was my fav stuffed animal) felt like such a hassle. hell, i barely even had any clothes there and i wasn’t taught how to do laundry for awhile which made it worse.

what does this have to do with the present day you may ask? well, as of january 15 of this year, i officially gained some courage and moved out of my dads house. however i didn’t start moving any of my things till months later. i got a couple essential items here and there but now that it’s summer i’ve officially started getting more things in bulk from there and moving it over. it’s literally a 5 minute walk so it’s not hard to do at all. but i can’t help but have conflicting emotions from it all. for one, my dream of all my stuff being in a single room/house is finally coming true, and i can collectively look at what i all have together. i didn’t think this would happen till i got a new apartment or house of my own after college (so like… around 22 years old compared to being 17). but on the other hand, i can’t help but feel a bit sad. the layout of each room was unique how it was, and i managed to cultivate a safe space at my dads out of really shitty circumstances. in the span of the 3 years where i gained friends and a sense of direction, i could finally obtain merch and other items that made me happy and put them in my dads house, so it wasn’t some barren wasteland that i dreaded. seeing as though that’s where i spent all my time at that house, it only seemed right for it to look good. slowly stripping this room apart makes me really sad that i was destroying the work i put in to make a good environment for myself. but then comes an even bigger problem. i also have become in those three years a MASSIVE hoarder. and the only way that everything fit was having two spaces. and now i will only have one. i quickly went from a kid who wanted so many new products and toys to help me escape my reality, to an almost adult who bought too many things in an attempt to salvage their inner child. it’s quite the heartbreaking thing to see becus many of the items i have now (unless they’re from a specific person i cherish or already have sentimental value ) don’t really have much meaning on their own anymore and it sucks. i would say that money can buy happiness, but only for a limited amount of time. i deep cleaned out my closet to make room for at least some of the stuff from my dads, and i did manage to get three full garbage bags of things im going to donate to goodwill, so i’m glad that i am giving back in some way. but i’m still astonished that -even after that- how much stuff can pile up and eventually just come to be decoration after thinking it would be the key to your life. yes, i’m still going to collect, especially items you can actually use (physical media), but man it really hits different when you can visualize how many items you actually own. it’s a bit terrifying honestly. nevertheless, i do love the act of actually organizing so that aspect will be fun, and i don’t think it’s all completely bad becus there are a few gems that i’m really proud of owning.

a side story to top this all off- i made the mistake of carrying four huge bags full of clothes yesterday as i walked home in a path where i would see a lot of people. i could’ve waited like a half an hour until my dad was ready to load his car with my stuff, but i was so stubborn and wanted to leave his house ASAP. i had it in my mind the whole time that i probably looked like a homeless child (seeing as though me and my mom see this one homeless guy with 20 bags constantly throughout our neighborhood). shameful needless embarrassment aside, it’s really sad that my own stubbornness is what made me look like an “outcast” by society. my family is not exactly financially stable ourselves, but i obviously have a house as stated. it made me think about how many homeless people really only have their items to keep themselves sane. you come to appreciate what you *do* have becus of that. i really hope i come to a point in my life where i can stop buying things i don’t need so i can give back to others that cherish and need their items so much more. or possibly find a balance of my money- with helping others as my main priority while just buying myself things at certain times of the year. and referring to the root of this story, i hope i can also get to a point where i’m not so fucking stubborn and holding that strong of a grudge that i can tolerate my dad for an extra half an hour. but that’s a whole other story 😭

#story time #collector #dvds #video games #figure collecting #plushies #i be philosophical n shit #sonic collector #story #storytelling #hoarder #hoarding

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cyanlastride · 8 months ago

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the colorado kid has torn through my mind over the past several hours

i was scrolling through tv shows i could watch when i saw haven. my parents watched haven when i was younger, and i remember bits and pieces of it. i was surprised, however, to see stephen king mentioned in the show summary. i read my first king book, the gunslinger, long after my parents finished haven, and before the gunslinger i really had no interest in king. now, even though ive still only read a handful of his books besides the dark tower, i jump every time i see his name, or anything nineteen.

i watched the first episode of haven with intent for the first time, and after something like 6 ad breaks decided that tv was not worth my time. also, though the show was interesting it didnt feel like king, other than it being set in maine. obviously i am no expert of what does and does not feel like king as i swore that donnie darko was a king adaptation when i watched it recently, but whatever. a quick wikipedia search confirms that only the setting and the idea of the colorado kid are king-inspired, along with a couple of references to stuff like IT. still havent read or watched IT. at the end of the day im a dark tower fan, not a king-horror fan, and surprisingly the fanbases have relatively small overlap. anyways, while im on wikipedia, i decide to quickly check out the colorado kid page.

and of course, my eyes immediately spy out the words dark tower.

"The review of The Colorado Kid in today’s issue of today's USA Today mentions that there was no Starbucks in Denver in 1980. Don’t assume that’s a mistake on my part. The constant readers of the Dark Tower series may realize that is not necessarily a continuity error, but a clue."

and just like that, im hooked. you see, im the type of nerd that grinned like a fool when i noticed the name of the bus company in the dr sleep movie. i love finding the little references and connections to the dark tower, so much so that the entire reason why i bought and read fairy tale was because i thought the staircase on the cover looked like the eye of the crimson king. the dark tower reference ending up being much more mundane in that book, but i still enjoyed myself.

so i wasnt able to sleep because i want to find my special little dark tower easter egg just for me oh boy oh boy, and now ive spent at least that last 4 hours starting and finishing the colorado kid which has left me unable to sleep because i cannot stop trying to come up with theories and trying to figure out how the fuck a starbucks existing in denver in 1980 when the first one didnt open there until 1992 on our/kings(?) level of the tower has any fucking relevance to the colorado kid who we already know exists on a different level of the tower to kings level because im assuming the forwards/afterwards are canon like they are in the dark tower books.

also, completely separate to the dark tower relevancy discussion, my main question about the colorado kid is as follows: where the hell did he get the steak from? either my man has been carrying around a cooked steak in his suit all day including into the fish n chip place, or he got it somewhere presumably after the ferry, so on the island? there cant be that many places that serve steak on the island, and with how the setting is described i find it unlikely they wouldnt be able to track down a witness who remembers an out of towner ordering a steak to go. so he was most likely given that steak by someone, someone who knew him well enough to want to give him a steak to eat with his bare fucking hands and then either purposefully doesnt speak up when he is found dead or never finds out about his death. im also willing to bet that the mysterious steak-bearing stranger saw and moved the colorado kid after he choked, because seriously if you were sitting enjoying some steak on the beach cuddled up with a trashcan one why are you rawdogging your steak next to a trashcan two when you start choking are you not going to attempt to stand, or lean over, perhaps over the trashcan, to attempt to choke out your steakbit? let gravity do some of the work, and right into the appropriate receptacle no less? like seriously my man mustve been going through something when he started choking on his steak he just sat there chilling, completely unbothered. if he was in any normal "ohgodhelpmeimchokingtodeath" position when he died he shouldve been face first in the sand. so yeah the colorado kid one hundred percent met with someone who gave him a steak, watched him choke on it, and then sat him up against a trashcan and just left.

maybe it was one of the furries or vampires or whatever. they were having some sort of fancy dinner when jake and callahan showed up, right? was that steak or human? also i seem to remember their little "come watch the humans fuck up their world lol hehe 9/11" teleport door hallway having something to do with russian currency, not sure what the connection is there but my brain seems to think theres something.

last thoughts before i give up for the night: not bothering to factcheck this but i think the dark tower series was completed in 04 and this book's afterward was dated 05 so the whole of the tower is potential context here. also the stand is one of the few other king books ive read and i think boulder colorado is important there too? its either the target city for the good survivors or the place where the sheriff comes from, i think? or maybe its the city the katet passes through in wizard and glass? i dont remember anymore my memory is awful and its late. if the kid ever went todash we at least know he started and ended on the same level of the tower cuz of his wife. the starbucks thing is bothering me too, like why is it significant that hes on another level of the tower, and one thats so similar to our own like they have starbucks during the cold war but with the way they talk about airplane regulations im assuming 9/11 still happened so it cant be that different. im starting to think that king just said that to turn people who were miffed about colorado kid onto the dark tower to increase sales or something but he posted this on his blahag so like i really doubt that.

im boutta pass out, damn you king, damn you colorado kid

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your-fave-is-bi · 7 years ago

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U know u pushed urslef too much during the day when ur in bed at 2am and ur tired as shit and ur just crying and u dont know why but its just. Crying is happening and its not stopping.

#like its fine crying is good yknow get bad emotions out make place for good ones the whole shebang #but i know for a fact i pushed myself so much too far both on a physical level and a mental level #two days of con; one of which was spent carrying the group’s stuff; the other started on 5 hours of sleep #i woke up on time with my alarm; fell asleep again; woke up 30 minutes later and had to rush everything #and it was a warm day and i had to return and ask for a replacement from a dice shop and i was already feeling socially terrible #and cons are busy and people get so annoying and its warm and loud #and im just realizing i may have just spent like a couple of hours just. overloaded.#and then my food wasnt great and i was def dehydrated and my self esteem was so deep in the fucming ground #i just. i felt myself doing the ‘everybody is looking at u and judging you and they dont even know you but they all hate you’#and im just. THIS ISNT TRU. NONE OF THESE PEOPLE KNOW ME. WHY WOULD THEY CARE ABT ME.#and then con was over we went to the home of a friend where we met in the morning; and suddenly we’re all going on a walk bc the sun’s out #and im. everyone was up for it so i just went along but i wore dark blue jeans and it was warm and we /walked/ after walking an entire day #and then more social interactions i hadnt planned for; and then suddenky the dinner at friend’s house became eating out #which is even more social interactions and then my food made me feel terrible and i just.#im so fucking tired and i dont know why im telling myself its ridiculous to be tired bc nobody else in the group was tired #like fuck dude thats not how that works. not everyone has my brain not everyone has my issues not everyone has my back pains.#personal tag #man this turned into a fun vent session hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa

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scaramoucheslove · 3 years ago

Note

PLEASE expand more on that Zhongli brat tamer thing you posted 🥺

Brat Tamer! Zhongli x Brat!Reader (GN)

Listen to me

What to expect: Spanking, Size kink?(a bit), Choking, Teasing in public, Getting called “whore” once I swear, Zhongli as ur god, fingering? lmk if I missed anything!

A/N: AAA BRAT TAMER ZHONGLI NEEDS MORE APPRECIATION </33

(also im so sorry if this is shit even tho i spent so much time writing it?? hurr i apologize and i tried to make it as gn as possible! <33)

Zhongli loves an obedient sub that listens to him and obey his rules. You, were the perfect little baby for him. You were his obedient, perfect little baby. Sure, you’ve been accidentally bad a couple times here and there. But imagine if someday, you were curious enough to see what’s it like to test his limit. So, when you were acting out of the ordinary, of course he’d be suspicious.

It all started when you both woke up. He’d always wake up first, usually drinking tea at the dinner table and you’d always greet him. But today, you felt a little braver than usual and decided to just ignore him and went ahead to the kitchen to grab your breakfast. He raised his brow, but thought nothing much of it. You put your plate on the table and played with your phone while eating your food.

Zhongli cleared his throat, causing you to look at him with a confused look on your face. “Good morning” he said with a smile, a fake one if I may add. You ignored him and continued to play your phone and eat your food. You could see his smile fade away in the corner of your eye. “I expect a response, no?” you looked at him, and his expression seems blank. “Uh, morning?” you answered blankly before continuing to ignore him. He sighs in defeat, standing up to prepare a hot shower to cool him off.

Zhongli said he’ll be meeting up with a few people for a while, and of course you being you, decided to tag along. You were confused on what to wear—until you remembered your little plan to push his buttons. You smirked at yourself before thinking. You had an idea. You put on the most revealing clothes you’ve ever worn out in public just to mess with him. Once you were done getting ready, he doesn’t say a single word. His gaze was enough to make a person tremble, thus why you were averting his eyes the whole time. He simply grabs your hands and wrapped it around his and said nothing more than a simple “Let’s go.”

You finally arrived at the Teahouse after quite some time. The moment you two opened the door, all eyes were on you. You looked absolutely stunning. Your looks may even be enough to tempt a god. Zhongli clearly tried to ignore the situation and dragged you to the back and seated you both at the corner of the Teahouse.

The meeting overall was boring. Although it was pretty boring, you had to admit that hearing people talking about Morax and acting as if they know more than Morax himself was kind of funny. You yawned in boredom and continued to look around before your eyes landed to your boyfriend’s figure that was sitting right beside you. His eyes that are completely focused, the way he talks, and the way his tall figure is sitting straight, asserting dominance through small, simple things. You couldn’t help but feel excited just by looking at him. Your excitement caused you to land your hand on your boyfriend’s thighs as he was listening to some people talking and discussing about the geo archon. He looked at you, confused and you gave him a small, sweet innocent smile, in which he returned.

But what he didn’t expect was for your hand to go higher and higher, until he realized that your hand was basically almost touching his dick. Before you could do anything further, he slapped your hand away and came closer to your ear to whisper, “Behave.” That action alone caused you to shiver and it tempted you even more. Biting your lower lip, you decided to wait for the right moment. After everyone was done talking and discussing, they asked for Zhongli’s opinion. And just right before he gets the chance to talk, you took the chance and managed to place your hand between his pants without raising any suspicions. He flinched slightly, earning worried looks from other people and workers. “My apologies, I thought I saw something.” He said as he kept his composure. And surprisingly enough, they believed him. Thank god you were seated in the corner so that no one could see what was actually happening between the two of you. You palmed him through his pants slowly as he explained about his opinion. You could hear the slight shake on his voice and clearing his throat way more than he normally does, even though he looked completely focused and well composed. “Mr. Zhongli? Are you feeling alright?” someone said in which he responded with a slight nod, and a pinch to your thighs as a warning. You gasped quietly in surprise and stopped your ministrations before looking at him. His stare was menacing, daring you to make another move. In which you responded by looking the other way and pouting as you rest your hands that was palming him a few seconds ago on the table.

The trip back home was silent. You didn’t dare utter a word, not after all that. You looked fine and chill on the outside, But inside? You were trembling. Was it really a good idea to make your god angry? Is it even worth it? Your thoughts were racing as you asked yourself. But there was no turning back.

You walked inside the house slowly, trying to keep calm and collected. You knew you were in deep trouble the moment he shuts the door with a slam. You saw a glimpse of his beautiful, black hair with a gradient, glowing, neon orange color near the ends of his hair, which usually occurred where he’s focused like in battles, or if he’s really pissed. You didn’t really want to test him any further, so you just decided to follow his next commands and obey him. “What has gotten into you?” He asked, voice demanding for an answer. You turned to him, looking to the ground instead while fiddling your hands. He clicked his tongue and forcefully held your chin so you were met with his amber colored eyes. “Talk” He demanded. You were unable to form coherent words and ended up stuttering on your words. He shakes his head in disapproval and practically dragged you into the bedroom.

He lets you go once you’ve both reached your shared bedroom. You watched as he sat himself on the edge of the bed, looking down and letting out a sigh. The moment his eyes met yours, you immediately looked down, not prepared for his eyes to pierce through you so sudden.

“Strip.” He said lowly. Calmly. But you knew him. It’s always the calm before the storm. You stood there, silently, not moving in the slightest. You could feel the tension in the room. He was disappointed. Of course he was! He had all the reasons to be. He walked towards you slowly, observing the outfit you wore. One of his gloved hand stroking it smoothly as his other hand gripped your jaw gently and made you look into his eyes. “Tsk, I have given you such a simple task. But I know you humans simply cannot do anything yourselves.” He practically spat as he tore your clothes off with both hands. Your eyes widened, mouth slightly opened and you froze due to shock as he chuckled at your reaction.

His two hands grabbed you by the shoulders and threw you onto the bed roughly, a contrast to his gentle grip on your jaw earlier. You continued to freeze in your place and he took the chance to pin both your hands with one of his, as his big and strong body kept your smaller one caged. You tried to get out of his grip. But it was no use. No matter how much you try, he will always overpower you.

“Tell me, love. Were you being a brat on purpose?” He asked you with a teasing tone on his voice. You closed your eyes and gave up, exhaling the breath you didn't notice you've been holding while nodding your head slowly in shame and embarrassment. He chuckled lowly as he lets both of your hand go and flipped you over. You yelped in surprise as he positioned himself so that your stomach was on his lap and he places his hand to rub gently on your ass.

You cried out, “Zhongli please I’m sorry-“ “Now, now. It’ll hurt a bit. But you mortals really need to be taught a lesson to know their place.” He says as one of his hand stroked your hair and the other continued to move gentle motions on your ass. “Zhongli pleas-“ Smack. A loud noise echoed across the room as you jolted forward and you felt your eyes beginning to water. “Can you just listen to me, brat?” his voice sounded clearly annoyed. The room was quiet for a while, until he broke the silence. “Stay silent and take it like the good pet I know you are.”

The sound of your cries and sniffles could be heard in the rather silent room. You were sobbing, hands starting to go numb as you gripped them onto the bedsheets, your ass sore and red from all the painful and harsh smacks Zhongli has delivered. You were trembling. It felt like hours since he started and it never seemed to end. He eventually stopped and started caressing the spots he had abused minutes before. “I’m sorry my love, but If I don’t do this then… you’ll never learn from your mistakes.” He explained. You were still sobbing, but a part of you was relieved that it was over.

He got you off his lap and laid you down carefully onto the bed as you finally closed your eyes, trying to calm yourself down. That is until you feel a hand tracing your back and onto your underwear. You felt him come closer as he whispered in your ear “Seems like someone got excited. Well, it isn’t really a punishment if you enjoyed it. Don’t you agree?” you can feel his hot breath fanning your ear.

He flipped you over, your back now facing the bed. You hissed slightly at the sting because your ass still hurts from his ministrations. He gently spread both of your legs apart as he sat himself in between your now-parted thighs and pulled your underwear down, in which he threw across the room. You tried to cover yourself up but again, it was no use. You were now exposed for him and his eyes to devour. “But I’ll have to admit, seeing you in that revealing outfit where everyone can see really makes me…” he paused as he searched for the right word before continuing. “Jealous.” You prayed to the archons to make it out alive before answering him. “Oh? M-maybe you’re just mad they can probably fuck me better than you.” You’ve done it. You took back what you said about obeying him, but at the wrong time. “Getting brave now, are we? How ironic for someone who cried over a punishment moments ago.” he bitterly chuckles. “Well then, we’ll just have to see how hard I’ll break you tonight.”

He took off his gloves and immediately gathered some of your wetness on his fingers, combining it with the drool he managed to get at the corners of your mouth. He wastes no time as he inserts one finger into your needy hole. You gasped and held onto the bedsheets once more, your eyes rolling into the back of your head. God, his fingers were long. You can feel him filling you up as he kept pistoning one finger in and out of you. But then you started to whine for more. For him to fill you up more. “Humans are indeed greedy, but you’re my greedy little human, aren’t you whore?” you scrambled over your words before he used his free hand to wrap it around your throat and tightening his hold around it. “Answer.” He stopped moving completely and you whined as you finally managed to answer. “Y-yes!” “Yes what?” “Yes, my lord.”

#zhongli #zhongli smut #genshin angst #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #uhh this is dissapointing im srry #genshin impact zhongli #im so sorry u had to read this

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beomglocks · 4 years ago

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better ; c.yj

summary : you deserve better

pairing : ex-boyfriend/mafia leader!yeonjun x reader

warnings & other : angst, mention of trauma, stalking and kidnapping, yeonjun breaks into your house, refer to picture for visual, i saw this edit on ig and now my mind has fuel, listen to better by WOOGIE.

w/c : ???

---

the sunlight peeks through your shades and onto your face, causing you to stir in your sleep. you squeeze your eyes tightly shut hoping your brain can trick itself into sleeping for just a couple more hours longer.

it works for a couple of seconds. closing your eyes tight may have tricked your brain into thinking it was still dark enough to indulge in more sleep.

you sigh peacefully, hoping to get back to your previous dream but you're cut off by the sound of a door being slammed shut.

you open your eyes but remain in bed. it had to be around 7am at least which means no one should be in your house. well, no one should be in your house period. if it was a robber, they sure do work early.

you get out of bed, not caring about your lack of proper clothes because if you were gonna die, what's the point? you take careful steps toward your kitchen to make sure you don't alert whoever may be in there.

the sound of things being moved around and frustrated groans grows louder the closer you get to the room. you grab your nearby safety bat from a corner in your hallway and bring it above your head to swing.

when you come into the line of sight of the intruder in your house you halt yourself from swinging and bring the bat down to your side, the person not realizing yet that you're there.

anger bubbles inside of you at the sight of the sleeve of tattoos and dark head of hair that you recognize all too well.

"what the fuck are you doing in my house yeonjun?"

the boy in question seemingly pays no mind to your question and simply continues rummaging through your fridge and cupboards. "where the hell do you keep your peanut butter?"

you cross your arms at him. "i asked you a question."

"so did i," he retorts. you roll your eyes at him. "you're in my house ass hole, in case you forgot."

he subtly rolls his eyes away from your line of sight and stands up from the fridge. now that he's seen you, his eyes linger on your body for longer than you're ok with. he leans back on your counter with a smile, a visible change in his demeanor, "good morning."

"answer my question," you frown. he sighs, "we got busted and i needed a place to crash."

"yeonjun!" you exasperate. "what? i slept on the couch out of respect for you," he raises his eyebrow, taking a bite out of his slice of dry bread.

"what the fuck do you want me to do, thank you? i told you not to involve me in your mafia gang whatever shit anymore and you go and do this," you gesture to the mess on your countertop.

"yeonjun you're the only other person here! what's with all this shit on my table?!" he continues eating nonchalantly as you scold him and try to clean up as best as you can.

"can you calm down," he sighs. he takes another bite of bread before placing the plate on top of a random box of pizza. "no one saw me come here, you'll be fine."

you continue cleaning, without saying a word to him. you feel like if you open your mouth you'll explode. you clench your teeth as you watch him look through your fridge again out of the corner of your eye.

it's been months since you last saw him and this is the first thing he does. from the counter, you have a pretty good view of his back as he looks through the fridge.

even though you hate him, your mind wanders back in time when that same back would be littered with your marks and scratches. the neck tattoo that would be colored with hickeys he would proudly wear is now bare and untouched.

your eyes go up to his head which thankfully is still turned away from you. the pink mullet he used to rock is now a dark undercut with hints of red. it looks good on him, you have to admit. his ears have more piercings than you remember and you hold back a smile thinking about the time when you would play with his ears and he would tell you to stop.

"you're awfully quiet, what're you thinking about?" he asks, still facing the fridge. you have to remember your relationship with the mafia leader ended months ago, whatever feelings that were present right now were most likely your heart missing human interaction.

"thinking about how i want you out of my house," you mumble, picking up a half empty cup of ramen. he sighs, standing up and fixing his messy hair.

"i said i was sorry," he leans back on the fridge, watching you clean. you bite your tongue, picking up the empty pizza box and tossing it in the trash. "sorry doesn't make up for trauma yeonjun, that's what you don't understand," you say quietly.

"if i knew that would happen to you i wouldn't have left you alone, you know i would've had soobin or taehyun be around you 24/7!" he reasons.

"well you didn't," you breathe out. you give him a tight lipped smile and for the first time in months he's reminded of the pain he saw in you eyes when they brought you back.

"you decided drugs and money were more important than your fucking girlfriend that you love "oh-so-much" getting stalked and kidnapped."

“that’s not tr-“ “that’s what it felt like!” you place an empty soda bottle on the table. he blinks at your outburst. in all the time you’ve spent together, you were never one to lash out even when he annoyed you to no end.

he stares at you for a moment before closing his eyes and biting the inside of his cheek in frustration. "y/n," he sighs angrily.

"even after i killed them all? it wasn't enough for you! you still left me," he steps closer to you and you unconsciously step back. you recognized this tone on yeonjun but he never used it on you. it's gravely and deep and on the rare occasion that you did hear it, the outcome was never good.

"yeonjun..."

"no, look- i know what happened to you was fucked up but i tried my best! it still wasn't enough- you still left and didn't even tell me.." he chuckles at this. "do you know how long it took to find this fucking place?"

you look down, suddenly feeling small. any bravery you had has now dissipated. it's like your mind and body were so used to yeonjun that you just knew when to submit.

"you were my only sense of normalcy in that place," he mumbles. "sure i've got the boys but they're not you.."

his head is hung low, making his hair cover his eyes. your first instinct would've been to run into his arms and pepper him in kisses. endless strings of 'i love you' to reassure both of you that what happened wasn't either of your faults.

you bite your lip, "is that why all this food is like this..."

he doesn't move from his spot. "im sorry, i miss you." you almost feel your heart break. you hate seeing yeonjun so messed up about something that he just eats to forget because it's his only other form of happiness, well apart from you.

you walk up to him, bringing your arms around his slim frame. at first, he doesn't hug you back since he wasn't expecting that but soon enough he engulfs you as if he's been touch starved for ages.

"im sorry, please come back to me? i'll do better, i promise you won't get hurt anymore hm?" he sounds hopeful and it makes you close your eyes.

"you need to leave," you say quietly. you feel him hug you tighter as he places his chin on your head. "please let me stay with you," he pleads.

you force yourself to step away from him which takes a lot more effort than you thought. you look up at his face and he looks so broken. it’s rare to see a mafia leader look this vulnerable but yeonjun opens himself up to you like this at times and you feel lucky, in a weird way.

he watches you expectantly, waiting for your answer. “yeonjun i just- i don’t feel safe around you anymore.”

you swear you see his heart shatter right in front of your face.

you want to hit yourself but it’s true. where you once felt peace you only feel fear. maybe once upon a time yeonjun was like your savior but now he brings pain, especially with the type of work he does.

he looks down, biting his lip. you can tell he's trying to act like what you said didn't just tear a hole straight through his heart. "you know i'll still watch over you and keep you safe," he promises.

you smile lightly at him, glad that he hasn't completely given up. "i know." he wastes no time stealing a kiss on your forehead, quickly moving away before you can complain or push him away.

"you still fucked up my kitchen though," you say when he starts walking away to your door. he only shrugs as you watch him walk out your door and out onto the streets.

you can only sigh, hoping he'll be safe until he can get his base back.

#yeonjun imagines #yeonjun reactions #yeonjun drabbles #yeonjun angst #yeonjun drabble #txt imagines #drabble #tomorrow x together imagines #txt headcannons #yeonjun headcannons #txt reactions #txt scenarios #yeonjun timestamps #yeonjun fic #yeonjun x reader #angst

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haik-choo · 4 years ago

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waking up next to the karasuno second & third years

request: the waking up next to the first years hcs was the purest most adorable thing i’ve ever read 🥺🥺🥺could u do one with the second or third years too?

a/n: thank you so much for loving the first one i did! i’m sorry i haven’t been as active, i go in and out of a creative mindset and this quarantine isn’t really pushing me to stay creative. i just sleep most of the time LOL. here it is! :)

[WAKING UP NEXT TO THE KARASUNO SECOND AND THIRD YEARS]

-nishinoya, tanaka, daichi, sugawara, asahi

nishinoya yuu.

waking up next to nishinoya yuu isn’t filled with excitement or him jumping off the walls, like you might expect it to be. i feel like the first ten minutesof waking up for him are really slow, like he’s just barely opening his eyes and looking at the ceiling.

for some reason i really feel like he wakes up before you. he goes to bed at like two am, but wakes up at eight am to practice or go on a little jog.

but every time he wakes up, the first thing he looks at is you. your peaceful state, your slow-rising chest, the little breaths leaving your slightly parted lips. noya is a really emotional person, and I can bet you real money that he gets real giddy seeing you next to him.

you don’t usually sleep in his arms because he’s a wild sleeper and probably starfishes, so when he wakes up his limbs are sprawled out, some on you, some hanging off the bed. and he just barely turns his head at there you are in your morning glory.

his heart literally swells five sizes bigger. he’ll shift over to be next to you and move your hair out of your face or just mess with the hair at the top of your head, basking in the love you cause him to feel.

after a few minutes of doing that, he’ll let out a big ol’ sigh and wrap his arms around you, squeezing tight to wake you up.

“mmm,,,,noya, what are you doing,,,” “i’m just feeling grateful :)”

and you look up at him, and there’s a feeling of security that fills you. he may not be the biggest or strongest, but the light in his eyes and the warmth in his arms that he wraps around you make you feel safe.

not to mention that his hair is down and sticking out everywhere. it’s a cute picture that only you’ll ever see

you return his gesture and wrap your arms around him, thinking about different ways to make him stay in bed instead of going out for a jog.

basically; the morning is filled with hugs and soft smiles, knowing looks and arms that evoke the feeling of being safe and being loved. his hair is wild, and his hands are tugging at your own strands.

tanaka ryuunosuke.

you two almost always wake up in the same position, his arms spread out, your head resting on one of them, one of his legs propped up like a tent and the other flat on the bed, you curled up against his side. since he’s a touch-starved individual, he finds any excuse for you two to be as close as possible every second of every day.

you both actually wake up a few minutes apart, whoever wakes up first is a coin toss. and when you wake up first, you get to see his face void of the tension is usually has, his mouth is a little open with small snores coming out, his fingers twitching every few seconds

tanaka’s body reacts before he does, so even if you try to get up, his arms just holds onto you and keep you attached to his side. he swears he doesn’t do it on purpose, and that his body just needs you :’)

on days when he wakes up before you he stays as still as stone. no joke, he’s so afraid of waking you up and experiencing your wrath that he just. freezes

but as he’s frozen, he takes the time to just stare. no smile on his face, he just stares, drinking in your sleeping form. he occasionally takes a change and slowly turns, stretching out his arm for his phone on the side table. when he can reach it, you can bet he has 200+ new photos of your sleeping and he makes them his screen savers

the second he sees your stir awake lightly, he pounces on you an covers your face in little kithes and saves your lips for last. sometimes he’ll wait until you open your eyes and look at him, pouting like “where’s my real kisses :(” before he gives you a big boy smooch

you giggle and caress his chest with your hand, happy that he wakes you up like a queen everyday. trust me, he’s happy he gets to be the guy whose face you see first thing in the morning

he usually scrolls through his phone for like an hour before getting out of bed, and you just sit there and watch tik toks with him. you two my wake up at roughly the same time, but you get out of bed before him to make some morning smoothies (he totally asks for a protein shake AGAGA)

basically; your mornings get started at the same time, and he loves to make sure you’re up by pelting you with kisses that you love. you scroll through tik tok while being smushed next to his chest before you get up to make breakfast.

daichi sawamura.

not gonna lie, when he wakes up he spend like a minute or two in bed at MOST, he hates just staying in bed because he feels like he could so much more productive than lie around and do nothing. you, on the other hand, wouldn’t mind staying in bed for the entire day.

so here’s the way it usually goes: he wakes up a minute before his alarm (7:00am) and just quickly sighs before reaching over you and turning it off so it doesn’t wake you up. then he kisses your forehead (his breath smells bad, so he’s not going to kiss your lips) before getting up and washing up. he gets ready to go on a jog, and he kisses your shoulder before he sets out on his journey.

but every once in a while, there’s something wonderful that happens. he doesn’t feel like working out. he wakes up at the same time, but he just doesn’t feel like doing anything. on those days, he completely indulges in your warmth.

he doesn’t care if he wakes you up and hoists you up so you’re completely laying on his body. of course you wake up, but you already know what’s going to happen, so you just softly groan. “so you don’t feel like getting up and decide to wake me up? really?” “yes, really” “...you’re lucky i love you” “im the luckiest man alive”

you two actually talk during mornings like those, you love pressing an ear against his chest and hearing the vibrations his voice causes. it’s like calming background noise to you.

“are,,,you even listening. we’ve got a lot to do today” “i’ve been ignoring everything after you said ‘getting up’“ “...of course you have”

you haveto convince him to stay even longer in bed, because he really hates staying in bed, like he just wants to make “eggs or fucking toast or an OMLETTE PLEASE I JUST WANT TO DO SOMETHING”

in order to persuade him to stay for a little longer, you usually just kiss him. normally he hates morning breath, but when it’s you kissing him so tenderly he can make an exception or two

ngl it usually leads to making out or morning sex, like i said he needs to do SOMETHING

basically; you wake up like a married couple. normally he gets up right away, but every once in a while he;ll decide to spend some extra time with the love of his life, and that time is usually spent kissing and...doing other things ;)

sugawara koushi.

instead of you waking up in his arms, he wakes up in your arms. like his face is pressed against your chest and your arms is haphazardly resting over his shoulder. his arms are undoubtedly around your waist, his lags entangled with yours

every morning, without fail, he wakes up first and somehow slip out of your position and into the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth before making two cups of coffee and coming back into the bedroom, setting them on the nightstand, and crawling back into bed with you

usually he sits up in bed and moves you to rest your head in his lap so he can reach over to sip at his drink. his hands comb through your hair and he trifles through his emails just incase some parent messages him about something

sometimes he’ll stop scrolling at look down at you, feeling happy and 100% sure that he has the greatest life; first he wakes up in your arms, spends time with you, spends time with kids, and them spends more time with you

the school he teaches at starts at like twelve pm, so he likes to take his time waking up so he’s as happy as possible. and spending a lot of time with you is key to that.

can only wait for so long before he pokes your side until you wake up. the entire time he’s like “please wake up” “i’ve got work in like four hours! let’s do something!” “i’ll make breakfast if you give me sufficient payment ;)”

literally the second you wake up he props you up and you look drunk as hell when you first wake up but he still thinks you’re beautiful <3 cute rat

he rests your head on his shoulder and kisses you until you’re fully awake, you don’t always kiss back but that’s because you’re not fully there and you’re just,,, “is there a bird pecking at me? what the hell - oh, it’s koushi”

“can’t you wake me up like a normal person?” “no, i like kissing you awake. isn’t that cute? :)” “not when you kiss like a bird.” “so you have,,,,chosen death?”

when he’s feeling extra happy he has no issue putting you on his lap, facing him. he wraps your arms around him before doing the same to you and burying his face in your neck and humming a soft tune. he’s just such a calming presence that sometimes you fall back asleep in his lap :’)

basically; it’s a cute and happy morning as he rests you on his lap and peppers your lips with kisses to wake you up. playful banter is included, and so it coffee breath.

asahi azumane.

he would love to wake up to you pressed to his side, but he gets hot really easily, so he cant hold you to sleep. he totally hugs a small pillow to sleep and you can old press up against his back, which he doesn’t mind.

he’s the type to wake up at ten am naturally, and every morning he yawns and stretches out his arms, rolling back a little before yelping at the feeling of you getting quietly crushed beneath him

when he realizes that it’s just you, his heart beat stabilizes and he turns over, flipping the sheets off of him to he doesn’t overheat, and grabs you hands, lacing his fingers through with yours

you’ve been dating for a while, so he’s completely comfortable doing skinship with you. he’s not embarrassed at how much he loves you. he likes to gently caress your face with his hands, his thumbs brushing over your cheekbones and sometimes across your bottom lip

no lie, waking up with asahi is the softest thing ever. he gives you one single kiss on your cheek, letting it linger for a few seconds before pulling away to see your eyes cracked open

by this time he’s lightly hovering over you, and he just lets out a slightly bashful smiles and leans down, his forehead pressing against yours

you think that you must’ve saved a cat orphanage in your past life in order to get he delicious treat of waking up with asahi’s face in front of yours everyday

“good morning to you, too, azumane” “morning :)” “did you have that weird dream again?” “the one where hinata grows to be eight foot three and dunks me in a basketball hoop and leaves me up there and becomes the ace?” “yeah” “yes. yes i did.thanks for reminding me.”

sometimes asks for extra cuddles before getting up to take a shower, and when you say yes he just :):):) and envelops you in his warm embrace and rubs his beard goatee thing on your forehead as you grovel in pain because it’s in that in-between phase where it’s scratchy and long

sometimesasksyoutoshowertogetherbutyouusuallyhavetodecipheritbecausehe’sallblushyandit’ssocuteyoucoulddie

honestly struggles to get up in the morning because he really loves just laying and existing with you, his mind not focused or worried about anything but the way your chest rises slightly out of sync with his, and sometimes he imagines your chest heaving beneath his,,,,but hat’s astory for antoher time

basically; waking up with him is like a fairy tale. his gently lips and even gentler arms wake you up like a queen, and he makes sure that you feel the same way he does. sometimes there’s extra cuddles, sometimes there’s some showering together.

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writingsoftheghost · 3 years ago

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Oblivious

Analogince get together story

Logan and Roman had been together for awhile, and they loved their relationship. But...when Virgil started joining the group more and more, the pair couldn’t help but let their attention wander.

It’s not that they loved each other any less, they just...both liked Virgil too. Roman felt bad about it, that is until Logan brought it up.

“I’m sorry!” Roman cries, “I didn’t mean to-”

Logan holds up a hand, “I’m not angry, Roman. Quite the opposite, actually, I’ve also found myself”-he coughs slightly, a red tint dusting across his cheeks- “Captivated by Virgil.”

Roman grins, “Really?”

“Yes, I have to say I find him quite endearing. Do you think it’s at all possible for him to engage in a romantic relationship with us?” He cocks his head to the side, a thoughtful scowl on his face.

Roman nods excitedly, “Oh, I think it’s possible.”

***

Virgil was sitting on the couch, when Roman decided to strike first.

“Hey, Hot Topic.” Roman plops down next to Virgil on the couch, closer than he’d ever sat before.

Virgil looks up from his phone for a second rolling his eyes slightly, “Aw, you think I’m hot.”

“Mm-hmm,” Roman nods. Virgil nearly chokes. “What are you up to?” The prince continues smoothly.

“I...um-nothing?” The anxious side answers.

“Well, that doesn’t sound very fun,” Roman purses his lips in a half pout, “What do you say we watch a movie?

Virgil shrugs, beginning to regain his composure, “Yeah, that sounds good.”

Roman nods, he looks at Virgil for way too long and the anxious side can feel his face heating up again, “Why don’t you choose a movie?”

Virgil shrugs, “You can pick, we should invite Logan, though.” He’s hoping he doesn’t come across as desperate as he actually is. He knows bringing the prince’s boyfriend into the mix would take most attention away from him.

“That’s a lovely idea, I’m sure he’d love to join us.” Roman disappears for a brief period of time, returning with a smiling Logan.

“Hello, Virgil. How are you?” He smiles at Virgil warmly.

“Good. Do you want to pick the movie?”

Logan hums, “Roman and I would rather have you pick.”

Virgil looks at them both strangely, but he picks out a movie, nonetheless.

Twenty minutes into the movie, Virgil notices both Roman and Logan glancing over at him periodically.

He tugs at his sleeves anxiously, had he done something wrong? They were acting weird.

He wanted to leave the room now, it felt too tense and it was making it hard to focus on the movie.

He makes a small show out of glancing at the clock, “Oh, I should probably get to bed...” He glances at them, hoping he sounds convincing. His heart drops when he sees Logan’s brow furrow.

“You don’t usually go to bed this early, is everything alright?

Virgil tries to mask the massive breath he sucks in, “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I didn’t sleep great last night. I’m gonna try to make up for it tonight.”

Logan’s frown deepens and Roman’s face falls too, nevertheless they let him go.

“Goodnight, Vee,” Roman calls up the stairs, “See you tomorrow.”

The couple turn to each other as soon as they hear the door to Virgil’s room shut.

Time for plan B.

*****

Logan packs a simple lunch pack, he smiles as he makes Virgil’s favorite finger foods. This plan was much more practical, he told himself.

Roman has left to ask Virgil to “hang out” for the day, Logan hopes he’d be able to convince him, he seemed uneasy the other night during their movie. Roman and Logan spent the last day coming up with this plan, as simple as it was, they thought it would work, Virgil preferred things to be simple after all. He and Logan were alike in that regard.

Logan smiles softly at the thought, however, he was quickly pulled back to reality by the sound of Virgil and Roman approaching.

“Im sure you and Logan would have more fun without me,” Virgil was saying.

“Nonsense, Logan and I both wish for you to join us.”

“Unless you really don’t want to,” Logan interrupts the pair as he steps into the living room.

“I...” Virgil’s eyes fall on the basket of food, “What did you two have planned?”

“We were just gonna go have a quiet lunch in the imagination,” Logan explains.

“And you two,” Virgil looks between the couple, confused, “Want me to come with you?”

Logan nods, “We would greatly appreciate your company.”

Virgil takes a deep breath, “Okay, I guess, as long as you’re both sure.” He glances at both of them, searching for any hint of malice or dislike, he felt bad about ruining their alone time, why would they want him to join them?

Roman smiles at him softly, “It’ll be fun, Virgil. The fresh air will be good for you.”

Virgil shrugs, “I don’t need fresh air, Princey.”

Logan grabs their lunch and Roman’s hand, “Are you both ready to go?”

Roman nods enthusiastically, “Been ready for hours! You take forever to make food!”

Logan rolls his eyes, “I like things to be done well, Roman, sometimes that takes a little extra time.”

Roman huffs, “You need anything before we leave, Virge?”

Virgil shrugs, “I don’t know, do I need to bring anything?”

“I wouldn’t think so, I’ve packed and prepared for just about everything that we’d need,” Logan assures.

“Okay,” Virgil mumbles, “‘Guess Im ready.”

“Wonderful!” Before Logan can stop him Roman reaches out and grabs Virgil’s hand.

Virgil flinches, but doesn’t pull away fully, he tries not to let Roman see the look of shock and confusion on his face.

Roman loosens his grip on Virgil’s hand slightly, worried he may have upset him, but then Virgil gives a soft squeeze and then, just like that, they’re holding hands, and Roman is leading the way to the imagination with the biggest smile he thinks he’s ever had.

Logan and Roman had already scouted the area they were going to eat at, a nice open field, perfect for easing a certain side’s parano-vigilance. The field contained a total of six trees, so it wasn’t like there could be anything lurking in the shadows.

Logan laid out a soft blanket, one with a texture that they knew Virgil liked, under the biggest tree.

Virgil sat himself on the edge of the blanket furthest from Logan and Roman. It was a big enough blanket for the distance to be noticeable, it made Logan worry that Virgil didn’t want to be there with them.

He had expected Virgil to be a little suspicious, even a little distant, at least at first, Logan knew this would be strange to him, he doubted the socially distant trait had ever been courted before.

“Virgil?” He asks in a calm tone, “Would you like some juice?” He’d been careful to avoid caffeine, knowing it could potentially highten Virgil’s anxiety.

Virgil shrugs, “I guess.”

Logan takes out the bottle of grape juice and the glasses he’d packed carefully earlier that day. When he offers Virgil a glass, he realizes that either he will have to move, or Virgil will have to move, go bridge the distance across the blanket.

Virgil makes the decision rather quickly, darting over and taking the glass from Logan, “Thank you.” He starts to shuffle back to his corner when Roman stops him.

“Why don’t you sit in the middle, Vee? That way you can reach the food?”

Virgil looks to the ground, “Didn’t want to invade your space.”

Logan frowns when he notices the hesitancy in the other’s voice, as if he isn’t sure he’s wanted. Which Logan couldn’t help but groan internally at, they’d invited him and he still feels like an intruder, anxiety truly was devoid of any logic.

“Virgil,” he holds out his hand towards the other in invitation, “You know we want you here, don’t you?”

Virgil won’t look at him, Logan sighs, “You’re more than welcome, here. We invited you, why would we invite you if we wanted you to just sit by yourself quietly? Hm?”

Virgil shrugs, “Dunno,” he mumbles.

“Is there anything we can do to make you more comfortable, stormcloud?” Roman interjects in a gentle tone, he’s aware of the tension in the way Virgil’s sitting now.

“I’m sorry,” Virgil says shakily, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“It’s alright,” Roman whispers, “You wanna go back? I’m sorry we pressured you to come.”

Virgil shakes his head firmly, “I wanna stay, I just…don’t want to be in the way. It kinda feels like I’m intruding on a date, why was I the only person you invited? You know Patton loves outdoor lunches.”

“We know, Virgil, we just…” Logan looks at Roman, Roman gives a small head shake and Logan sighs, “We just wanted to spend time with you. We didn’t mean to make you feel awkward, we’re sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, I don’t know why I’m being so weird about it, but,” and he slowly slides his hand into Logan’s open one on the blanket, “I think I’ll be okay, now.”

“Are you sure? It really isn’t a problem if you want to go home?” Roman assures.

Virgil nods his head, “Yeah, I’m sure.”

Logan smiles and squeezes his hand softly, they all know Virgil likes physical reassurance sometimes, and they’re glad he’s started accepting, and even asking for it on occasion. Patton has to remind himself constantly that Virgil has to be the one to initiate it, however.

Roman pulls out plates and food from the pack, Virgil tries to give Logan back his hand, but he’s quickly stopped, “Please don’t let go until you’re ready, okay?” Logan smiles at him, “My right hand is fully capable of doing this alone, I promise.”

Roman hands him a plate and asks Virgil what he’d like.

They eat comfortably, Virgil relaxes enough to let go of Logan’s hand, but moves closer to him and Roman anyway. Virgil talks about Halloween coming up and Logan tells him that he’s already put horror movies into the schedule for that month.

When they finish their food they continue to sit there and talk quietly. A soft breeze blowing through the field making the place even more peaceful. They were all enjoying a moment of quiet when…

Hic!

Roman sits up and stares at a blushing Virgil in shock.

The emo side ducks his head, “Shut up, Pri-hic!-ncey,” he says in an attempt at a growl.

Roman smirks, “Is there a problem, Virgil? You seem to be having a bit of trouble.”

Logan giggles, “You don’t need to be embarrassed about the hiccups, Virgil. Everyone gets them.”

“I don’t—hic—have the hiccups!” He grumbles.

Roman laughs and Logan laughs, Virgil glares at them both for a moment, but he can’t hold it for very long before he’s laughing too.

“Stop laughing at me!” He shouts between giggles.

“I don’t think,” Roman wheezes, “I’ve ever seen you hiccup before.”

“Shut—hic—up!” Virgil shoves him off the blanket with a laugh.

Roman sits back on the blanket, “Gosh, you’re adorable.”

Virgil and Logan both freeze, Virgil glancing nervously at Logan, Logan and Roman both looking at him, horrified at the thought that they’d just blown it.

“I—uh—”Virgil is still staring at Logan, a look of fear in his voice. Virgil looks at him, the face of logic not giving him any ideas as to what he’s supposed to do. He shakes his head, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, Virgil,” Logan says softly.

Roman sucks in a harsh breath, understanding the apology as a gentle rejection.

They sit in awkward silence for an eternity.

“Perhaps it’s…time we head back?” Logan suggests in a quiet tone.

Virgil’s heart drops as he decidedly believes Logan hates him now. “Yeah-Yeah, sure.”

They walk back in silence. Virgil stuffs his hands in his pockets to hide their shaking. Roman and Logan keep glancing at him, both taking his silence as a sign of discomfort.

They allow him to go to his room, wincing at the sound of his door shutting softly, not even a slam.

“I ruined it,” Roman whispers sadly.

Logan shakes his head, “We still have a chance, Love.”

Roman shakes his head, “He wouldn’t even look at me.”

“He couldn’t stop looking to me,” Logan whispers back, “I didn’t know what to say, I chose a cowards way out. I fled.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Roman places a hand on his shoulder, “I’m sorry I messed this up.”

“You didn’t mess anything up,” Logan wraps his arms around Roman’s neck and kisses a tear sliding down his cheek. “We should give him some space, we can check back in tomorrow.”

Roman nods and allows Logan to lead him to bed, not really believing any of the logical side’s attempts to reassure him.

*****

Virgil stays in his room through breakfast. Roman liked him. He should be happy! He likes Roman! But…he likes Logan too, and he’d never wanted to get between them like this.

Logan told him it was alright, Virgil took that to mean that he didn’t really blame him, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t upset. He can only imagine the fight he and Roman probably had last night.

Virgil’s heart skips a beat when he thinks about the two of them breaking up.

He didn’t know what he did to ever catch Creativity’s attention but he wished he hadn’t done it. He felt truly awful for doing this to them.

“Kiddo,” there’s a knock at his bedroom door, “You need to eat lunch, it’s almost 1:30.” Patton sounds worried, Virgil hasn’t locked himself in his room like this since he ducked out.

“I’m not hungry, Pat. I’ll eat later.”

Patton frowns, “Virge?” He asks hesitantly. “Is everything okay? You know you can talk to me if you need to?”

“I’m fine, Pops.”

Patton isn’t convinced, “Hey…you don’t have to talk about it, but if you don’t want to be by yourself you can come to my room? Might help to be somewhere else for awhile?”

Virgil sighs, “you sure?”

“Of course.”

Virgil opens the door and Patton gives him a sad smile, “come on, I’ll get you something to eat and some tea.”

Virgil nods, “Thank you.”

Patton sits down on his bed next to Virgil, passing him a sandwich and some chips.

“I messed up,” Virgil whispers as he takes a chip.

Patton looks at him in surprise, “What did you mess up, Virge?”

“Logan and Roman, I messed up their relationship. They’re fighting and it’s all my fault.”

Patton scoots closer, “I didn’t know they were fighting. How is it your fault, honey?”

“I just…I don’t know why, they invited me out to lunch with them, and it…it was weird! But then it wasn’t, and it was nice, but…Roman called me adorable and I…I like him, but he’s Logan’s boyfriend and I never wanted to hurt Logan because I like him too and I just… Logan probably hates me now, and Roman and Logan might break up and it’ll be all my fault and there’s no way I can ever make it up to him!” Virgil’s breathless when he finishes. He doesn’t know when he started crying.

Patton shakes his head, he remembers when Logan and Roman told him they liked Virgil. When Logan had asked him what Virgil’s favorite foods were. How Patton made them both promise they would be patient and gentle with Virgil’s already shot nerves.

He can’t help but be a little upset with them for letting Virgil wallow in this all day. He pushes that feeling aside, and decides to help his three hopeless friends out.

“Virge, I can assure you, Roman and Lo are gonna be just fine. But I think you should go talk to them about this. I think there might’ve been a bit of a mix up.”

Virgil cocks his head, “What do you mean?”

Patton shakes his head again, “They’re not fighting, kiddo. I promise, just go talk to them.”

“But I—”

“Trust me.”

And with that Patton is nudging him towards the door and Virgil’s in the hall.

He glances worriedly back at the father figure.

“They’re in Logan’s room last I saw.” Patton shuts the door.

Virgil feels a slight sting of betrayal at having been abandoned to face the pair alone, but he approaches the door anyway.

He stands there for two and a half minutes before knocking.

“What is it?” Logan calls through the door.

“It’s—um—it’s me, I think maybe I need to—”

The door swings open, “Virgil?”

The logical side looks as if he hasn’t slept well, Roman is standing behind him in a similar state. Virgil can just barely see the whiteboard on the back wall covered in incomprehensible diagrams and cluster graphs.

“Hey…” he gives a weird little half wave for some reason he doesn’t understand.

“Are you…alright?” Roman asks hesitantly.

“Me?” Virgil asks in confusion, “Are you two okay?”

Logan nods, “We’re dreadfully sorry, we didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that, we—”

“I got carried away, Virgil. I’m sorry,” Roman cuts Logan off.

“You couldn’t help yourself, I shouldn’t have chosen such an intimate activity for us,” Logan defends his boyfriend.

“No, this is my fault. I’m the one that put the pressure on him.”

“Love, I should’ve planned for this. I know you can’t help yourself when it comes to your feelings.”

“You can’t plan for everything. I should’ve—”

“Hold on a second!” Virgil interrupts, “Did I miss something? What are you two arguing over?”

“It doesn’t matter, Virgil,” Logan composes himself, “We both apologize for making you uncomfortable. It was not our intention, regardless, we understand if you do not wish to go on anymore dates with us”

Virgil stares at him in complete in total confusion. “Dates?”

Roman’s eyes widen, “Surely you’re aware of what we’ve been doing. We took you to a romantic lunch! We’ve been flirting with you constantly! What did you think was happening?”

Virgil looks at Logan, the logical side gives a small smile and a nod. “I thought,” Virgil starts, “I don’t know, I guess I just thought we were hanging out, and then I guess I thought Roman was hitting on me. I didn’t realize Logan was.”

“So that’s why you acted so upset,” Roman mumbles.

“Ah, I see. My advances are less…direct,” Logan explains sheepishly.

Virgil nods, “Yeah I got that now, but I thought…that I’d ruined your relationship! That I’d broken you up or something! Oh my god I hardly slept at all last night!”

Logan winces sympathetically, “We didn’t either, but we’re very sorry for distressing you.”

“It’s fine,” Virgil shrugs it off. “But you guys…both of you…want to date me?”

“Of course, if you’d allow us,” Logan smiles, “We both find you quite endearing. Would you be willing to let us continue to romance you?”

“Logan, you make it sound so formal,” roman laughs, but he has an excited gleam in his eye, “You wanna date us, Virgil? You can say no, it’s okay, but if the answer is yes we’d both be delighted to have you as our boyfriend.”

Virgil can’t help it, he’s skeptical, this feels too much like something he’d dream up, he looks both of them in the face, hunting for any sign of a joke or a lie. There isn’t any, just encouraging smiles.

“Yeah, I’d…I’d like that a whole lot.”

He’s quickly wrapped in two pairs of arms, happy laughter filling his ears.

—————

@idont-freaking-know @aceawkwardunicorn @cute-and-angsty-princess @emo--nightmaree @a-yeet-bop-bop-boom @me-a-mess-morelikelythanyouthink @katlikethesword @tranquil-space-ninja @book-limerence

#oblivious #sanders sides #Virgil #Roman #Logan #ts roman #fanfic #thomas sanders #ts virgil #ts Logan #analogince #getting together

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probably-haven · 3 years ago

Note

Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should.

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can. Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it.

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows.

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over-

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings. I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is.

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other- Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action.

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways.

-Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though.

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips.

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself.

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt. - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing.

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth. - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced.

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that.

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead.

#genshin impact #genshin xiao #genshin venti #xiao #venti #xiaoven #genshin analysis #genshin headcanons #xiaoven headcanons #xiaoven analysis #this is a mess i really shouldnt be putting all these tags but oh well #oh wow the grammar and spelling here is truly repulsive #sorry to all my english teachers i have failed you all

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enjxxl · 3 years ago

Text

|| jake x reader

genre : angst ; idol

pairing : idol!reader x idol!jake

warnings : crying ; reader is insecure about themselves : fluff towards the end if you squint hehe

word count : 2.2k

note : sorry for any miss spellings, i don't do any proof reading. also this is written to where corona never happened.

you never realized how hard it was after your debut, even harder than your trainee days. especially when you debuted through a survival show.

all throughout the survival show you were nervous if you would even make it to debut as you felt, compared to the other members on the show, you lacked talent. during the last episode of the show you had lost all hope as the members were being announced, your hope slowly going down the drain. and as you stood with one other person you felt it in you that you weren't going to debut. but as the last person was announced it hit with surprise. your name was announced. it all felt surreal to you and you couldn't believe what the judges had said. had they really said your name?

you had looked towards the other members standing to the side, grins on their faces as they motioned for you to join them. when it finally had hit you that you made it, you couldn't help but burst into tears as you thanked the judges for giving you the opportunity to debut and thanking all the fans who had voted for you.

now, as you sit in the waiting room after your debut stage you couldn't help but feel giddy. the sweat rolled down your face and down your back but you didn't particularly care, you were just happy you finally had the chance after the 5 years you had spent training and working for this day.

"how'd it feel, y/n," your manager sat down next to you as they scrolled through their phone, looking at what was next on the schedule.

"surreal," you sighed out, the exhaustion rolling through you in one hit. as much as you loved the feeling of performing and seeing all your smiling fans you couldn't help but loath the exhaustion that came with it.

"glad to hear, next on the schedule is a variety show so get ready for that," your manager walked out leaving you by yourself in the small room. because you were the only girl in your group, you had to use a separate waiting room from the rest of the boys but you were honestly glad as it gave a moment of peace from their loud and bubbly personalities.

you finished getting ready for the next schedule and walked out with your manager when he had come back to get you. you had dressed down in comfier clothing as you knew you were just going to change again as soon as you got to the other building.

"y/n! i can't wait to watch the performance of us tonight!" you met up with the other boys as you walked out of the building and you agreed with the tall boy. jake, the tall boy, was the first person you had made a connection with during the survival show. you were thankful that jake was the first since he had helped you all throughout the show. when you were struggling with anything, jake was always their to help you. you were growing so fond of the boy that you couldn't help but slowly grow feelings for him. of course you would never be able to tell him since you were both in the same group but you couldn't help what your heart was feeling for him. you knew you had a 0% chance with him and as much as it hurt to admit and come to terms with, it was better that way.

"i bet it caught you stepping on my foot, jake," you couldn't help but scold him and slap his arm as during the performance he had stepped on your foot twice.

"it was an accident," he pouted, rubbing his arm. you smiled at him and gave him a side hug while you walked outside the building, not noticing the cheeky smile he had given you as you wrapped your arm around him. however, what you had not expected as soon as you walked out was to be bombarded, the flashing lights shocked you and blinded you for a few seconds as you instinctively hid behind one of your members, burying your face behind his back so as to not be blinded again. you were pushed and pulled from every direction as you tried to hold onto him but you were soon separated from the other boys the only thing holding back the fans were two bodyguards, one on each side. you lifted your head and continued walking, trying hard not to stumble and fall from the blinding lights.

your heart race picked up as you kept walking as it felt like it was taking forever to get to the van which wasn't even parked far away from the building you were exiting. when you finally made it into the car you threw yourself inside and sat next to a worried jake.

"hey, you ok? who would've thought it would already be like this," he looked at you, a worried expression on your face as you breathed a sigh of a relief as you saw all seven of them in the car as well.

"yeah, im fine, i just got lost in there," you sunk yourself into the car seat as the van started driving to the next destination. the other members gave you worried expressions and after reassuring them once more they all either went to looking at their phones or sleeping during the short car ride.

the only one who never looked away was jake. he noticed your shaking hands as you held them trying to not make it too obvious you were so shaken up about what had just happened. he grabbed your hand in his rubbing his thumb across the back of your hand to help calm you down.

"i'm ok, really," you whispered out the reassurance but you honestly didn't know who exactly you were trying to reassure, jake or yourself.

the rest of the schedules wrapped up nicely and as you all arrived at the dorm you immediately went into your room, throwing yourself onto your bed. you were exhausted from the first day of jam packed schedules and all you wanted to do was rest as you had to be up in only a couple of hours. the dorm was filled with busy sounds as all the members caught up with each other before it finally died down as everyone had been tired and wanted to rest.

as exhausted as you were, you were anxious. the debut performance was finally up and you wanted to see what the reactions were so naturally you had searched up the performance. you watched the performance one time all the way through, beaming at your members. they all looked so good and you did in fact notice the camera was able to get in frame jake stepping onto your foot not only once but twice. you giggled to yourself as you saw your face scrunch up slightly in pain and jake showed a shocked expression. it only lasted for a second as the camera cut to a different shot but it was still a funny moment you caught.

your nervousness amped up as you scrolled through the comments, most of them were positive but there were a few that stood out to you.

sh**** commented

why did hybe even let a girl like that debut? she has no talent and she's so unattractive. ridiculous.

ex****** commented

the other members must be embarrassed to have a girl like her in the group, her dancing sucks and her vocals are non existent how is she even a main vocal???

even though there were more positive comments about the performance you couldn't help but let the negative comments get to you. tears welled up in the corner of your eyes and they finally started dropping as you kept reading the comments. all the negative comments were about you. your mind couldn't help but blur all the words together in your mind ; talentless, embarrassing, unfit, untalented. it was all overwhelming and you couldn't help the sob that left your mouth. you covered your mouth, looking up towards the door and waiting in silence for a few seconds to make sure no one was coming and let the tears flow down your face.

thinking about all the events that unfolded earlier in the day, you couldn't help but feel engulfed with all the emotions you had kept inside of you throughout the day. you had looked forward to your debut for years and even though you enjoyed being around your members and you know you had fans that accepted you and loved you but it still hurt to know you had so many who hated you.

a knock at the door halted your running thoughts and put them on pause as you looked up, finding a concerned jake peeking through the door.

"y/n? what's wrong, oh my god are you ok?" you were stilled in shock, not expecting jake to suddenly come knocking at your door. he came in kneeling down to your level and grabbing your face in his hands.

"i thought you were asleep," you muttered up a response as you tried to wipe your tears, failing in the process as even more tears fall down.

"hey hey, you're doing ok. i promise," jake tried wiping your tears but his efforts were in vain as his fingers were being drenched with your tears. as soon as those words left his mouth you couldn't but let out a sob as the weight of his words hit you. you didn't feel like you were doing ok and the thoughts went from still to running again.

jake, seeing that his words only made it worse, wrapped his arms around you whispering even more encouraging words in your ear. you wrapped your own arms around him and crumbled in his embrace.

"they don't like me jake, maybe i'm really not fit to be in enhypen," you stuttered out your feelings. once jake wrapped his arms around you, you knew it was over. jake knew how to make you weak and he knew how to make you vulnerable without him even trying. you hated how he could see through you but you were also grateful. grateful that even if he didn't reciprocate the same emotions as you did, all you really needed was his presence.

"i don't know what's going on behind that pretty little head of yours but i need you to know that you are fit for enhypen. it may not seem like it but we all need you and enhypen wouldn't be enhypen without you. you are perfect the way you are," jake always knew just the right words to make you feel at peace. your thoughts finally stopped and dispersed, his words filling the earlier negative ones.

"thank you, jake i don't know what i would do without you," you hugged him tighter than before and you both finally let go of each other, him wiping the last few tears off of your face.

"how about we get some sleep? we have to be up in a few so let's get as much rest as we can," you agreed with him and you both got up. he left your room not long after and you swiftly got into bed, pulling the covers up to your shoulders, the only thing peeping out from under the blanket was your head. not long after jake had left, he came barging back in, scaring you as you were just about to fall asleep. you watched as he laid a blanket and a pillow down on the floor next to your bed, getting under the blanket and resting his head on the pillow. you looked up at you as you were peeking over the bed and gave you a smile.

"what are you doing?" you whispered.

"im sleeping right here, i don't want you alone on your first night after debut and plus, everyone else has a roomate anyway," he gave you one last glance before closing his eyes and getting comfortable on the floor. why did he always know what to do? why did he always make you feel special?

you ignored your fast beating heart and laid back down in your own bed. after a few minutes of silence you still laid awake, staring at the ceiling of your room.

"jake?"

"hmm?"

"can i hold your hand?" you let your hand rest over the side of your bed as the weight of your words settled into the quiet night and you couldn't help but get nervous. you didn't know why you were getting so bold but you wanted to be comforted and held. and holding hands was close enough.

after a few seconds you finally felt his hands grip yours tightly and you felt his warmth comfort you in mere seconds. it wasn't long before you had fallen asleep, your body shifting closer towards the edge of the bed so you could hold jake's hand more comfortably. jake, however, had not succumbed to the night, him looking up at you as he let out a sigh.

"what do i do, y/n? i really like you."

#enhypen x y/n #enhypen x reader #enhypen scenarios #jay scenarios #jake sim #jake shim #jake x reader #jake enhypen x reader

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obeiii-mee · 4 years ago

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Hi! Im new to your page and i love your writing 💕 i have a request for demon brothers headcanons on how they treat MC after realizing they get anxiety from things like yelling/loud abrupt noises/ things like that? For example, they flinch, get quiet, or start fidgeting? Thank you!!!

Aww, thank you so much. That means a lot to me and I’m really glad you like my writing considering I have such a chaotic style lmao. Also, welcome to this mess of a blog. We give off ‘cult’ vibes but at least we have hot, fictional demons to make up for that.This was super sweet because I know for a fact every single one of them would be very understanding of MC’s anxiety of anything.

Enjoy!

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The Brothers with an MC that gets anxiety from loud/abrupt noises:

Lucifer:

-He may not get anxiety from it, but Lucifer definitely prefers a quiet atmosphere/environment where he can focus on his work

-Which makes living with his brothers a living nightmare because they don’t have the capability to shut the fuck up

-That being said, he catches on rather quickly that you do not feel comfortable around loud noises in general

-There’s a limit to what he can do but every time you feel like you need a bit of peace and quiet, know that you are more than welcomed into his office at any time of the day. Even if he isn’t there

-He definitely prioritises your mental as well as your physical well being seeing as living with demons can have a massive effect on your sanity

-He’s not judgemental about it either because, while he doesn’t understand why loud noises may cause you to be so anxious, he understands that humans are built differently to demons

-Lucifer has no chill at times and will tell all of his brothers off every time they make a big scene, whether in public or private

-He can be a tad overprotective at times but he means really well, especially if he sees you’ve gotten oddly silent for the past few minutes or has caught wind of you fidgeting during dinner

-I don’t know how much I stressed so far about the observation skills this man has but I will keep doing, he can spot you flinching at loud noises from a mile away

Mammon:

-I believe that he can read people really well and can recognise when a person is feeling a certain way

-But he’s still a complete dumbass so he might still miss a few clues hidden in your mannerisms

-Like, he realises you’re uncomfortable but he doesn’t understand the degree of it or why it exists

-You’ll have to be blunt about it and tell him about your deal with loud noises because otherwise he will be stressing about it for weeks on end

-Dating him as a result of your anxiety over loud noises can prove to be...difficult

-He’s a very boisterous and obnoxious being, everytime a particular emotion of his flares up, he gets significantly noisier

-Whenever he enters the room you happen to be in, you’re forced to cover your ears and flinch because he has a way of announcing his presence

-But he tries so incredibly hard to act calmer around you and he so hates it when he fails to do so because he knows how uncomfortable you get as a result of him screaming like an idiot

-His brothers usually blame him when you start fidgeting because they assume he’s the cause of your rising anxiety and he started to believe it as well

-He sees that look on your face and he is just gutted

-He is ready to get on his knees and start apologising profusely until you forgive him for being such a noisy bastard

-The times other things/people are the cause of you going weirdly quiet, he will use his threatening tactics

-“Listen ‘ere, you’re makin’ my human uncomfortable so if you don’t shut the fuck up, I won’t let you see the light of day again. Do ya hear me?!?!”

-He says to the godfather clock when the sound of it striking midnight startled you

Levi:

-He 100% understands

-He hates loud noises as well and they usually make him scamper back to his room lol a rat in hiding

-Levi is slightly more immune to them however seeing as his brothers do have a habit of raising their voices all the time

-But do not worry, human, for he will protect his Henry from the annoying sounds people in general make at the cost of his life

-Take shelter in his room, please

-He loves having you in there and usually you only have the noise of video games in the background

-If you’re there and an anime he’s watching is getting too loud, he will turn it down for you ahead of time

-Sometimes, he can be as noisy as his brothers, especially when he rages at one of his games

-Bu he’s so quick to shut up once he realises you’re there

-And then, like Mammon, would start apologising for being not only an ugly otaku but an obnoxious one at that

-So y’all end up comforting and cuddling each other because.....uh....mutual hatred for loud things?

-Also, he would decapitate his brothers for you if they crossed a line (like he’s not really a Yandere but he’s a demon with demonic instincts to protect I guess)

Satan:

-Much like his father eldest brother, Satan also prefers silence in general

-After all, it’s a lot easier to read when his brothers aren’t there to muck about the place and make too much noise

-Humans are very different to demons, especially psychologically speaking and he understand that

-That’s why he doesn’t question it when you follow him into the library to seek refugee from his siblings

-If anything, he’s rather happy he gets to spend some time with you so the two of you sit in silence, each of you doing your own separate thing

-He knows if something is bothering you again, he can probably notice you suddenly start fidgeting in public

-He’s very cautious with you when you are in this state as he deems you are at your most vulnerable

-One time, a teacher at RAD raised his voice too high while scolding you for not paying attention and that earned an involuntary flinch from you

-That guy was officially on Satan’s shit list from then on, just so ya know

-Overall, he’s very sweet and patient with you and absolutely does not mind spending an entire day with you indoors away from loud noises

Asmo:

-He has no problem with loud noises whatsoever

-If anything, he loves being in crowded public places like The Fall, since partying and socialising is one of his many talents

-Not to mention, he’s so used to own family being so loud it just doesn’t affect him that much

-However, when you first arrived and he noticed just how badly you reacted to loud noises, he started avoiding things like clubbing as if it were the plague every time he hanged out with you

-Asmo needs social contact but he is more than willing to spend time indoors with you if it makes you feel better

-Or going out shopping in a relatively quiet shopping centre

-I mean, getting his nails done with you by his side sounds absolutely amazing to him

-So as much as he loves making noises and spending time in rowdy places, he’s always going to make an exception with you

-Always

Beel:

-Beel is unbothered by noise

-Sure, he does like it better when his brothers aren’t fighting and things are peaceful around the house

-But, he’s not fazed by yelling, loud music, heavy things falling and thudding against the ground etc.

-He picks up on your anxiety riddled gestures the first time Lucifer has a go at his brothers in front of you

-Because you started fidgeting like crazy and in that moment he was the only one that saw it

-So Beel grabbed your hand and led you outside of the room and Lucifer was so caught up in the moment he didn’t even realise it

-Probably, maybe he just let it go

-Basically, Beel decides that he shall protect you, the tiny human in comparison with him, from any loud noises that might startle you

-He will do it, do not test him

-One time, Mammon was screaming because he was chased by the witches and it made you flinch enough for Beel to see

-A couple hours later, Mammon disappears completely and shows up at your door, looking absolutely traumatised but genuinely apologetic and says sorry

-Sometimes people forget Beel is a demon

Belphie:

-I’m gonna make a wild assumption and presume that if you are vulnerable to loud noises, you are very likely a light sleeper

-If that is the case, (apologies if you’re not) then Belphie would be very quick to notice because a lot of shit goes down at night time and most of the time, it’s loud

-Belphie doesn’t have a problem with it, he can sleep through anything, even his brothers and especially Lucifer

-But he definitely notices if you aren’t cuddled up to him any more, even if he was asleep, because you sat up in bed suddenly at a random noise at 3am

-Note: That was Asmo sneaking back into the house trying to be as quite as possible but tripping and breaking a window

-“You’ll have to get used to that. My brothers are idiots, they don’t know when to be silent.”

-He prefers quiet places like the attic so he can actually sleep, but again, could do so either way so it doesn’t matter to him

-But he is going to be...let’s say ...upset.... if you were to wake up from a nap session because of someone something

-“Make one more sound and I’ll rip your tongue out.”

-Even when you aren’t napping, he gets very angry when people get unnecessarily loud, especially with you reaction

-But that just gives him an opportunity to bring you to the attic or something so the two of you can actually chill by yourselves for a chance

-Beel is invited obviously, but Belphie is just as happy to be left by himself with you

-Ironic how much his feelings for you have changed, huh?

————————————

So I really finished this by the end of the week. Hope this is actually some good because I spent all of my brain cells on an another giant request I’m working and the rest were used to write this. Thank you for sending me requests though guys! Now every time I get bored I can just answer your asks. Have a nice Monday!

Al~

#obey me #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me imagines #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me satan #MC being anxious around loud noises #🌸 comfort #☂️ demon brothers #⭐️ requests

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lauraashley93 · 4 years ago

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It’s always been you Pt 2

Part two to “it was always you. “

Here is part 1

Warnings: none? Swearing?

It’s been a good minute since I’ve wrote anything so I’m sorry if this isn’t very good but it’s literally been sitting in my drafts for months now. :) enjoy.

—————————————————————-

A few hours earlier

Miguel’s fist slammed against the desk. “How could I have been so blind Nestor?? How foolish am I? That I had to see through a text she forgot to delete? A child I was about to call my OWN is of another man? And a fucking Mayans? That stupid bitch is going to pay. They both are. I will have them both on my pew and make both of them regret the day they thought they could fuck with me. I may just let EZ’s fucking club watch and let this be a warning that if they EVER fuck me over I will discard all of them like worthless trash.”

Nestor watched as his friend threw a empty glass at the wall and paced through his frustration. As much as he knew he could very well do the things he said and Nestor would not mourn the loss of either person he knew a better way to heal Miguel’s wounds and if he were to Kill EZ and Emily and leave a child mother and fatherless this plan would never work because she would know. If they were to vanish, she would know and he needed a Miguel to calm down and realize that yes, he was embarrassed but now he could have what he really wanted. Now he could truly be happy. Why be mad when he was miserable anyway?

Present time

And thats how he found himself here. 10:00 at night, feeling like a high-school boy picking up a date for the first time. Butterflies in his stomach hoping, just praying you would open the door. He took a deep breath in and knocked on the door.

Your POV

You were settling in drinking a glass of wine snuggled up on your couch with your favorite book and blanket. You could feel your eyes beginning to get heavy when you suddenly hear a light knock at the door. Your brows furrowed in confusion. You looked at the clock and wondered who would be at your door. You placed your book down and slowly approached your door, checking the peep hole you were shocked to see Miguel Galindo at your door.

Butterflies caught in your stomach and you took a deep breath and opened the door. Concern instantly written on your face. You could tell he was upset.

“Miguel? What are you doing here? Are you okay?” You stepped aside letting him into your home, mentally kicking yourself for not picking up your place a bit more.

“Y/n, I’m sorry to show up so late. I.. I just.” He sighed in frustration obviously never one to stumble over his words. You smiled and grabbed his hand and led him to take a seat by you on the couch.

“It’s okay, Miguel. I wasn’t doing anything anyway. What’s on your mind? What is wrong?” You watched him as his eyes got glossy and he took a deep breath and turned to you.

“Emily and me, we uh, well turns out she was cheating on me. The baby, it isn’t even mine.” A tear escaped his eye but he wiped it away quickly. Clearly he was never one to show this side of himself but he always felt open with you. He missed that. Your heart broke hearing him say these things. You couldn’t imagine what his heart was feeling.

“Oh Miguel, I am so sorry.” You gently placed your hand on his back. “I’m here for you, whatever you need. I know you loved her.”

He smiled, not one that touched his eyes but he looked up at you. “That’s the thing y/n. I’m not quite saddened at the loss of the relationship between and my soon to be ex wife. I’m upset because I’ve wasted all this time pretending to be happy. Fooling myself into thinking I loved anyone else but you. And for what?? For Emily to leave me for the person she was in love with. Raising a child who she let me believe was mine. Not even caring what she did to me. And all these years I could have been with you. I could have been building this life with an amazing, strong, beautiful and loyal woman.”

You knew you should say something. Respond in some way but your breath hitched and you felt your world spinning in slow motion. Was Miguel really confessing his love to you? A few months ago you were just accepting the fact that you had made the worst mistake of your life letting him go and knowing you would never have him again but now?? He’s telling you everything you have DREAMED of him telling you. Miguel must have taken your silence as a bad thing because he started to stumble over his words. Clearly losing the confidence he had in hoping you felt the same way.

“Look, y/n I know it’s a lot to take in. I’m sorry, I never meant to overwhelm you. I just, I knew,” he sighed. “I couldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t let you know and let you go a second time.” He placed his hand on yours. “I’ll see myself out. I’m sorry.”

He got up slowly making his way toward the door. You blinked away your confusion and quickly shot up before he could get any farther. You didn’t know what to say so you did the only thing you could think of. You grabbed his hand turning him back to face you. You backed him up against your door not knowing where your new found confidence came from but not questioning it either. You crushed your lips into his moving them urgently and it didn’t take him a second to respond. He grabbed a fist full of your hair and you felt his tongue begging for entrance and so you opened allowing him access. You felt him massage his tongue against yours and you let a soft moan against his lips. He held you close and started guiding you back toward the couch

Until you felt it behind your knees you laid back brining him down on top of you.

You finally pulled away needing to catch your breath both your and Miguel’s chest falling up and down rapidly. He looked deep into y/e/c eyes and kissed your lips once more and smirked.

“So, can I take that as the feelings are returned or do you say goodbye to all your friends that way?”

You laughed and cupped his cheek and smiled. “I have loved you since I met you and I have never stopped. I have dreamed of this moment since I seen you a couple of months ago. I never want you to feel anything but happiness but I can’t say I’m sad about Emily’s terrible terrible mistake. I might even have to write her a thank you card.”

This earned you a laugh from Miguel and he smiled ear to ear. “Then come with me, y/n. Let’s start the life we both should have had this entire time. Please. I promise it will be everything you ever wanted. We can start your own business so you don’t have to stop doing what you love. Please.”

You thought about it. Your whole life was finally stable. But you had already gave Miguel up once. And here he was telling you, you could start your own business. He was only asking you to leave your crumby apartment. You’d be dumb not to, right? You smiled as you thought about the life you could be living with Miguel. The idea of him leaving without you already not something you even wanted to entertain. “When do we leave.”

Miguel smiled as he placed his hand on your cheek. “We can worry about that tomorrow. Right now there are more important things I want to take care of.”

You bit your bottom lip as Miguel brought you hip closer to his and you spent the rest of the night tangled in each other’s embrace.

@angelreyesgirl @auroraariza @spookys-girl @trulysuccubus @rosieposie0624 @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @skyofficialxx @strawberrywritings @miss-nori85 @cind-in-real-life @deeandbobbymcgee @starrynite7114 @louisianalady @itsjaybeast @-im-fantastic- @justatiredfool @scuzmunkie @ly--canthrope @yourwonkywriter @baby-your-so-golden

#fanfic #fanfiction #mayans x reader #miguel galindo #Miguel Galindo x reader

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midnightsnyx · 4 years ago

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Forever After All - Mat Barzal: part 2

summary: three years after a devastating break up, you wake up one morning in an unfamiliar apartment next to the man you thought was the love of your life: Mat Barzal. Is it a dream or a second chance?

a/n: here is part 2! i have no idea how many parts this will be cause i have many plans and ideas for it. so i kinda want to explain something about the fic so it makes sense. the reader remembers the past, her breakup with Mat and what happened but when she woke up in the first part of this story, she obviously thinks she’s dreaming because Mat is there and she can’t remember what everybody is talking about regarding the previous days. im going to write some flashbacks (there’s one in this part) to give some backstory on what exactly happened. not sure if my explanation makes sense lol but yeah i wanted to try to explain it before you guys read this part! anyway, i hope you guys like this!

word count: 2.2k warnings: none

forever after all masterpost

Part 2

You’re late for lunch because you spent nearly three hours picking through every inch of the apartment trying to get some answers because seriously, what the hell is going on? Everything you found was foreign and you couldn’t remember anything. Pictures, clothes, jewelry that you figured were from Mat that you had zero recollection of owning were neatly placed in the apartment you and Mat must be sharing.

So you’re not surprised when Hayden gives you her look. It could turn someone to stone but you’ve become immune to it through the years of your friendship. “You’re late.”

You pointedly look around the diner and raise a brow. “So is Jasper.”

She wrinkles her nose and shrugs. “Good point, I suppose.” Then she grins and looks at you expectantly. “So, how was last night?”

“Uh… last night?” You question because of course you have no idea what could’ve happened the previous night. You’re hoping she will fill in some of the blanks without being suspicious.

“Yours and Mat’s anniversary dinner?” She squints her eyes at you and then looks down at your hands that are neatly folded on the table. “And why aren’t you wearing it?”

You feel your entire body go cold and you know without seeing yourself that you look like a deer in headlights. “Wearing what?”

“The ring?” She says slowly and then her face drains of colour. “oh god, you guys didn’t break up did you? You two are like…” she waves her hands wildly. “The couple. This could break-”

You cut her off before she can stress herself out too much even through you’re still trying to process the current information. “We didn’t break up. I just…” you scramble your brain to come up with an excuse. “forgot to put it back on. After my shower.”

How the hell did you miss an engagement ring when you were going through your apartment?

“Okay, so how was last night? I want all the details. You know he’s been planning it for weeks.”

“Planning what?” Another voice says before you can answer. You look to your left to see Jasper sliding in the chair next to Hayden.

“Mat and Y/N’s anniversary dinner.” She explains and he grins.

“Oh, do tell. We need all the details.”

Great. They want all the details from a night you don’t remember.

You take a moment to figure out what to say. You don’t know if Hayden knew any of what Mat’s plans were so you can’t make something up completely.

“It was nice. You know what Mat’s like, he went all out.” You say because thinking back, when the two of you were together he had a tendency to go overboard. You knew it was his way of making up for being gone so often.

Hayden raises an eyebrow. “Awfully skimpy on the specifics.” you think she’s going to pry more but she just shrugs and smiles. “I’m sure it was lovely though.”

“It was.”

Jasper grins. “Good, ‘cause I don’t know if I could beat him in a fight.”

The smile you send back is forced because there’s so much information being thrown at you and you don’t know how to handle it. You just want whatever this is to be over.

Whatever it is, is messing with you and you’re not sure how much more you can take because it’s just reminding you of what you lost all those years ago.

. . .

After lunch you drive aimlessly through some of the neighborhoods on the island in attempt to clear your mind. There are aspects to what you’ve learned from Jasper and Hayden about your relationship with Mat that make sense. The ring caught you off guard but something that you knew after the two of you broke up was that he was planning on proposing.

It was a conversation you and Jasper had while you were grieving over your breakup. Your friends had been the rock you needed and listened when you needed to vent and were the shoulder to cry on. He showed up at your apartment at three in the morning when you’d called him crying with some chocolate and takeout in hand and the two of you had a heart to heart.

“Sam’s not mad I dragged you out of bed three in the morning is he?”

“Nah,” Jasper said. “He gets it.”

“Yeah,” you whispered. You knew the history Jasper had with dating and how understanding Sam was when they got together. He was the first guy who had the patience to deal with Jasper’s baggage and you were so grateful your best friend had found a guy who was deserving of him.

The two of you were quiet for a while, eating in silence and watching whatever movie he had put on.

“Can I tell you something?” He asked quietly and you nodded without looking up.

“He had a ring.”

It was in that moment that it felt like the entire world stopped. It felt like you couldn’t breathe, like you were drowning.

“He kind of asked for my permission? I don’t know. It was weird. I guess because he couldn’t ask a father figure in your life.”

When you felt like you could speak, you asked, “what did you tell him?”

“I told him that if he was going to give you that ring, he’d better be one hundred percent certain because I knew that if he proposed and then the two of you broke up, it was something you wouldn’t be able to get over. I told him not to hurt you.” He looked at you sadly and you’d realized there were thick tears making your cheeks wet. “I’m sorry.”

You just nodded and looked down at your left hand where there may have been a ring if things were different.

But they weren’t and there was no way you could have changed it.

. . .

You pull into the parking lot of yours and Mat’s apartment and slowly make your way in to the building. You didn’t notice his car so it’s probable that he isn’t home yet. You are glad because you want to find that engagement ring Hayden told you about.

You thought you searched everywhere but it was conveniently sitting on the bathroom counter. It’s beautiful and exactly the kind of ring you had always dreamed about which makes sense because this is a dream.

Sliding it on your ring finger, you examine it in the bright bathroom lighting. It somehow feels like it’s meant to be there while simultaneously feeling like it weighs a ton. Standing there for what feels like hours, staring at it, you nearly jump when you hear the front door open and close loudly. Mat calls out your name and you try to collect yourself because you can’t act as weird as you were this morning. You need to act normal until you figure out what exactly is going on.

“Babe?” He calls again and you hear his footsteps approaching the bathroom you’re in.

You ignore the way your voice cracks when you answer. “Yeah?”

He stops in the doorway and the smile he gives you takes your breath away. It’s painful how easy this feels - standing here with him in the apartment.

“How was lunch?” He asks, walking towards you and taking your left hand in his. His thumb runs across the engagement ring and the way he’s looking at you distracts you long enough that he raises an eyebrow, pulling you out of your thoughts.

Clearing your throat, you smile. “It was nice. They asked about last night.” You say, hoping he might give away some details.

“It wasn’t too much was it? I know how you feel about making a big deal over occasions but I couldn’t help myself.”

Helpful. You want to say but he’s looking at you expectantly so you wrap your arms around him and hide your face in his chest to hide the disappointment on your face. “No, it was perfect.”

You feel him press a kiss to the top of your head when he slides his arms around your waist. It’s so familiar, being held in his arms that it makes you want to cry because as much as you tried to move on after your breakup, you missed this. You missed him.

“Still coming to the game tonight?” He mumbles in to your hair and you just nod, knowing your voice will probably give away how close you are to tears. You step back and turn towards the shower.

“I’m gonna take a shower.” You tell him even though you’d showered this morning. You need to distance yourself from him to clear your head.

“Cool. I’m going to make some food, are you hungry or still full from lunch?”

“I can eat.” You say, reaching out to turn the shower on. When you’re satisfied with the temperature, you turn to look at him. Despite the affection you’ve shown him, you’re not ready to undress in front of him even though he’s seen you without clothes a million times when you were dating.

But this is different.

“You okay with some eggs and bacon? I know it’s a little late but that’s what I’m feeling.”

“I think it’s actually ‘cause you don’t know how to cook anything else.” You tease, laughing when he pouts.

“I’m wounded, Y/N.” He says, placing a hand over his heart and you can tell he’s holding back a smile. You walk towards his and give him a small push.

“Go make food.”

“Yes ma’am,” he grins, leaning down to kiss you before leaving the bathroom.You close and lock the door behind him, quickly stripping and hopping in to the shower. Knowing Mat will take quite a bit of time cooking, you let yourself stand under the hot water longer than normal and try to calm your mind.

It works pretty well because you are fairly clear minded when you finally go out to the kitchen. He’s just finishing cooking and you sit at the table while he dishes up the food. He sits across from you and you listen as he rambles on about how practice was and you try not to zone out but you can’t help it.

Sitting here with him with your feet resting on top of his and him insisting on holding one of your hands while you eat makes your heart ache.

Part of you still wants whatever is going on to end so you can go back to your old life but the selfish part of you wants to stay forever because you have Mat back and everything feels so perfect with him and you almost think you can forget about the past and the horrible break up between the two of you. This past day alone feels like one of the best days you’ve had in forever and it’s not even over. You’re almost afraid to go to bed tonight not knowing what you will wake up to.

If this is a dream, it’s going to break your heart to wake up and you don’t know how much more pain your heart can handle.

So for now, you let yourself savor this moment and try to forget everything about the past. You let yourself be excited for the Islanders game you’re going to tonight and you let yourself lay down with Mat after you eat and watch him after he falls asleep for his pregame nap. You stare at his features, running your fingers softly over his face trying to commit everything to memory, scared for if you fall asleep, he’ll be gone when you wake.

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