#and im in the middle having a panic attack
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back to my girlboy and her boygirl
#i have been dealing with a 7 hour long pre panic attack state with an 1 hour long panic attack in the middle today#so naturally im drawing pookies#im still not really out but hey. tenrose#tenrose#dw fanart#dr who#doctor who fanart#10th doctor#tenth doctor#rose tyler#doctor x rose#timepetals#doctor who#dw#northernfire art
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if aradia's death was just in-character for a long roleplay, what's the deal with tavros and terezi's disabilities? did vriska have anything to do with them?
She Did Do Those Things. vriska no!!!!!!
#im insane that vriska is a roleplayer#its so funny to me i love roleplaying jokes#for those not in the know: 'i was just acting in character' is a common phrase used by people Behaving Badly#vriskas like OOOOOOHHH you want me to break the carefully crafted and lovingly acted personality of marquise spinneret mindfang? you monste#listen!!! im playing as my spidersona!!!!! its what she would do shes a spider you want me to not act like a spider???#vriska. you threw the boy off a cliff screaming and cackling to yourself FLY PUPA FLY#thats not '''''''in character''''' marquise spinneret wouldnt have fucking done that you bitch!!! you just got bored and started#causing problems!!!!#her glasses details had to be shifted around because vriska saying to terezi 'its harder for me. i lost 7 eyes you only lost 2' is so fucki#oh my god vriska no. NO. VRISKA#but yeah she did still do those things. i wasnt sure how to handle this but i decided to go this way. a vriska is a vriska#vriska#homestuck#bugstuck#vriska serket#One time I got a death threat in the middle of an in-person roleplaying game. That underclassman just looked at me with hatred in their eye#a panic attack#then later after THAT they began openly weeping.
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I’m genuinely so fucking sick of the “you all would have loved it if it was Eddie who made that comment” take.
First of all, Eddie wouldn’t have made comment then, bc he knows how hard it is for Buck to talk about his emotions, & is REALLY good at giving him the space to talk about them, even if he does make jokes, they’re not out of pocket (the coming out scene, anyone? Breaking the tension with a joke & still being supportive without making a joke of his feelings.)
Secondly, even if Eddie DID make that comment, I’d probably still roll my eyes, but I’d be more willing to accept it. Do you wanna know why???
Who was the person that knew the details of what Buck was talking to his therapist about during their emergency session before the Buckley’s visit? Who is the first one they show at Buck’s side when he gets stuck in the warehouse trying to pull Saleh out after learning about Daniel?? Who is the one who was pacing downstairs in the station & making sure Buck was okay after the warehouse, and the one who warned him about his visitors??
Who was the one praying at Bobby’s bedside, right next to Buck in the hospital?
(I’ll give you a hint, it’s not the dude that’s had 10 minutes of fucking screen time that everyone forgot about post s1.)
It wouldn’t have been the same bc TOMMY AND EDDIE ARE NOT THE SAME. They are not on the same level of knowing Buck & understanding when to make jokes & what jokes to make. Your best friend, partner & co-parent of 6 years and the man that you haven’t even called your boyfriend yet are not on the same level of familiarity.
I get that you’re pissed that Tommy is being compared to Buck’s previous love interests (which would be the case, even if he wasn’t just as shitty & uninterested in Buck as a person as they all were) but if you genuinely think that he’s anywhere near Eddie’s level, EVEN PLATONICALLY, then I fear that you have been watching another show entirely, & I encourage you to watch more than just s7, bc that’s the only explanation I can come up with for why this fuck ass take exists.
#911 abc#buddie#this isn’t really about the buddie relationship but I think it’s still relevant#I’m so tempted to tag BT bc I think the ones saying this have lost the entire plot of the fucking show#but I’ve also only had like 8 hours of sleep in 2 days#& have almost had 3 panic attacks since Wednesday so I know I’d probably regret it#911 discourse#hating on a storyline/joke/character ≠ hating on a bunch of fans bc they don’t enjoy the same things that you do#eddie diaz#evan buckley#ryan guzman#oliver stark#this could have been a sweet moment to show Tommy taking care of Buck#but instead he made yet ANOTHER shitty & ill timed joke#Eddie has been right beside Buck through his entire journey with his parents#that gives him the right to joke about it#a man who Buck’s been on 3-4 dates with & hasn’t put any effort into their relationship since he planned the date#that he subsequently walked out in the middle of#does not have the same right#this is genuinely not a difficult concept??#like. think about your bff & then think about a new love interest. would you really be comfortable with those 2 people making the same joke#or would you laugh at your best friend’s & be a little off-put by your new potential love intrest???#anti T*van#I heard that tagging something as anti still shows up on that tag & Im just too tired to fucking fight
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making a set for later but um... billys breathing in this scene... we need to talk about it
#like he literally looks in the middle of a panic attack except he cant fully have one because hes not in control of his body!!!!! im gonna!!#billy hargrove#dacre montgomery on god i will get you your emmys!
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As much as I love leosagi we have to admit Leo's ass is not ready for any relationship and he'd fumble the bag so hard multiple times but Usagi is just stupid persistent so there's a chance they'd work it out
#nardo's primetime.txt#like i love leo but this man would have a panic attack and break up with usagi in the middle of the night because “you deserve better im so#“sorry im just a liar you probably feel like shit”#and usagi is like “have you drank water and ate food and slept at all it is 3am please rest and we'll talk later once youve calmed down”#and leo fucking sobs apologizing the next day like “bro the demons got to me im so sorry wont happen again” until he learns what therapy is#rottmnt headcanons#leosagi#technically#rise leo#rottmnt leo
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Save me oliretta and benslie save me
#looking for content for another ship I like could potentially lead to me finding more stuff that causes the#‘making me upset because my brain is used to social ostrichization and treats random shit I don’t care about the same way as social ostrich#so im going to attempt to delay my invisible return to this ship (which has happened multiple times where im like ‘I think I’m not as into#(ship) as I used to be’ and then like a week later get really into it again; rinse and repeat)#(fuck when I said invisible I meant inevitable and it’s not letting me edit)#im going to fixate HARD on these two ships; which im currently near obsessing over#so that hopefully by the time I go back to the ship#it will have been long enough my brain will have calmed the fuck down#and learnt not to give me panic attacks over shit I don’t actually care about#because apparently being bullied when I was nine (a time in my life I barely remeber)#was enough to put it in permanent defensive mode#oh wait I guess also the eighth grade thing#and that sort of covert ‘being fake nice as a joke’ thing that’s been happening to me since middle school#and that I still humor because I’m too socially awkward to stop it#save me#parks and rec#benslie#ben wyatt#leslie knope#only murders hulu#only murders in the building#omitb#omitb season 3#loretta durkin#oliver putnam#vent in tags#wait fuck#oliretta#i forgor
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hand on my stupid heart flashbacks
this is a No One Knows AU & Full Hazmat AU where Danny ended up in the Ghost Zone & didn't go back into the human world initially because he thought he was dead. by the time he realized he is, in fact, at least half alive, he'd already been missing for at least 2 weeks. will probs never finish homsh sorry. i wrote this a couple years ago in a haze & just haven't been able to finish it because i can't replicate the style, which i find is what i love about this fic the most. it wouldn't be the same without it. posting the flashback introsーwhich are meant to be read between chapters/the actual plot, starting after chapter 1ーcuz fuck it. excuse typos & shit, i never properly edited it, as i forgot it existed immediately after i wrote it original description of homsh: Danny Fenton has officially been missing for over a year. Maddie & Jack Fenton refuse to give up on their son. Sick and tired of the police running them in circles, and the case getting colder by the day, the Fentons turn to their last resortーPhantom. 800~ words (full unfinished fic is 20k~)
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When Danny woke up surrounded by thick, green fog, and couldn’t breathe without swallowing heavy air that was more like water than anything, he was sure he was dead. The portal glowed behind him, illuminating the pitch darkness around him in soft, yellow, warm light.
He almost went back.
Almost.
He was dead. His parents were ghost hunters. They had drilled into his head from the moment he was born that he could never, ever panic in death. That he would accept it. That he would not be scared. So he would be prepared to be brave in the face of death and would not become a ghost.
He panicked. He did not accept it. He was terrified. And so he woke up in the Ghost Zone.
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Danny went back through the portal when he saw some ectopuses acting… strange. Like they had an idea in their heads. Like they had a plan.
Which was weird, with animal ghosts. He had only been in the Ghost Zoneーmom and dad called it that, he rememberedーfor a couple weeks. Or, he had already been there for two weeks. Or maybe time worked differently and he was there five minutes, or four years orー
The ectopuses went through the portal and, despite everything, Danny went after them.
While he was busy reeling at being home, the ectopuses immediately attacked dad. Danny was horrified. Jack was overwhelmed. Danny stepped in, in a moment fueled by sheer adrenaline and stupidity, snatching a Fenton Thermos™ off a shelf and releasing his shaky invisibility. The ectopuses didn’t stand a chance. And when they were safely in the Thermos, he slowly turned around to dad, ready for the confrontation. Ready for the “what happened to you?” and the “where have you been?” and the “we’ve missed you”.
Dad scrambled to shoot at him.
Danny fled.
His parents didn’t recognize him.
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The Lunch Lady attacked when Danny was mourning Halloween.
He’d waited all year. He made a costume that summer. He wouldn’t get to go trick or treating with Sam and Tucker this year. Or any year. For the rest of his lifeーor existence. Whatever.
The Lunch Lady appeared in the school and demanded in straight fury, “Who changed the menu?”
Everyone pointed at Sam.
Danny hadn’t known just how powerful ghosts could be. His parents never told him the specifics. Just that they were dangerous.
This ghost grew and her aura hit him like a hurricane, almost physically pushing him back. It was so strong that the students in the Casper High cafeteria seemed to feel it too.
The Lunch Lady was a much harder opponent than the ectopuses. She levitated meat. She used it as a weapon, and seemed to bring it back to life. She created weird meat creatures that grew sharp teeth and claws out of bones. They were mindless, attacking everything that got too close to the ghost. Danny would have run away without hesitation, if Sam hadn’t been in the crossfire.
Danny fought the Lunch Lady. It was a long struggle, but he caught her in the thermos after over an hour. When he turned to Sam and Tuckerーboth of whom he had to save due to Tucker trying to jump into the fightーall three of them bloody and bruised, he cringed. But a part of him hoped. Desperately.
Surely they would know him on sight.
“Wh-what are you?” Sam gasped at him finally.
Danny flinched as if she had struck him. “J-just… your friendly neighbourhood phantom.”
-
Danny didn’t know what possessed him. Oh. Pun not intended.
He just barely caught the Fentons leaving in the GAV, dragging suitcases behind them. He couldn’t help himself. What on Earth were they doing?
They were going to Vlad Master’s mansion for their college reunion.
It was a whole thing. But something was off. Besides all the adults reminiscing about the 80’s.
Danny sensed ghosts immediately but he couldn’t see anything. Unfortunately for him, Vlad could also sense him. It was two days of Danny staying invisible, and Vladーthe halfa? Is that what Danny is?ーtrying to kill Jack. Somehow, Danny managed to fight off Vlad, not turn back, and without the Fentons getting hurt. His secret intact.
VladーPlasmius, also learned about Phantom. And Vlad hated him. The manーghostーwhatever, seemed to only care about one thingーpossession. Of money. Of things. Of people. He was more ghost than Danny had ever seen. Vlad’s obsession was overwhelming.
Danny couldn’t believe someone so much like himself could be so disturbing.
#danny phantom#danny phantom au#danny phantom fanfiction#you know that gif of the wailing emoji dissolving? :Why:?#yeah that's what i do every time i remember i never finished HOMSH while i still had the style in my brain#feel free to steal this idea. please steal this idea. please write it i wanna see this idea so bad but im already writing another 100k+ fic#if y'all want me to post the full fic i can but. it is not finished & most likely never will be. sorry again#i won't lie. the haze i was in was a depressed one. i was. not in a good place At All when i wrote HOMSH#like the only part i remember actually writing was the panic attack scene & that's just barely#i reread the whole fic in the middle of the night months later while listening to Implode Alright by Built by Snow on repeat#yeah i cried. this one is funny but mostly it's just. mourning. grief. the works. it's a vent fic & also a. kind of. wishful fic#like. don't you just wish death wasn't so permanent. don't you wish you could tell them everything you wish you could#don't you wish you could just see them again#i'm actually writing this into a bigger ventier series currently called Let Grief Do Its Work#cuz i rewatched LUCIDS again recently & remembered what HOMSH was originally about. why i was writing it#i'm not calling it HOMSH cuz. HOMSHie is my baby. it's its own thing & i don't wanna ruin the vibes#reluctantly admitting i call an unfinished fanfic i don't remember writing... HOMSHie baby... in my head#yeah i have a cute nickname for my fic. what of it#it's 5am & i think i'll throw up if i think any more about posting unfinished unedited pieces of a fic so i'm going for it. cowabunga#go into the world. get your 2 notes you beautiful animal#*passes out*
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there's no fucking way i got a 94% on my final public speaking speech
#no fucking way#i almost had a fucking panic attack in the middle of my speech#there's no fucking way#i think she messed up#i don't think she put the right grade in#like that can't be right#im not kidding#i was shaking so fucking much during my speech#i was going to have a panic attack if i stayed up there any longer#i couldn't have gotten a 94#anyway#i was listening to that funny feeling before finding this out#might go back to that#and then kill myself
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at least whatever’s wrong with my brain is really funny
#started having a panic attack and the next thing i knew i was standing in the middle of a cemetery at night#distinctly remember my first thought upon coming back to reality was ‘this is stupid. why am i in a cemetery’#instantly stopped panicking#it’s a 15 minute walk to the cemetery#based on timestamps on messages to my boyfriend i made it there in less than ten#i know this sounds concerning but im mostly just amused. brain What#alex speaks
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I freaking love your au and your latest comic because MAN
I FELT THOSE LAST WORDS AND I WAS LIKE "OH FUCK"
First panel was already a bit unsettling itself - like you get it's just intimate manners as you do as a couple but he felt so possessive already and
Sunny's inner thoughts
I'm sure 100% his abandonment anxiety will increase drastically the more he stays with nick and honestly slay
I mean it's kinda obvious
But like I felt that
Yeah
Nick is unhinged
Nick is crazy
Y'all are gay for him
Good 😵💥
Sunny has soooo many issues. So many of them. He's so vulnerable and he makes himself vulnerable to Nick while still being intimidated by him, it's... Dude's got some problems.
#ive talked about mental illness and nick before but not sunny...#well. only a bit. ive said sunny's autistic#but he's also got other problems-- such as abandonment issues as you said#sunny's very insecure in relationships - partly because he has a very limited experience with them#and partly because he has self image issues.#when you grow up as an undiagnosed autistic kid you tend to be very aware you're different while not knowing how to change it#everyone thinks and says you're weird but you have no idea what's weird about you so you can't even try to fit in#a friend of mine told me once that she thought i was so brave for not being scared of being different in middle school#i wasn't. i wasn't brave. i just had no idea why people thought i was weird#sunny in this au knows how deeply different he is from other people but he doesn't know /what/ makes him different or how to change it#and as a result he just doesn't open up very much. he's very reserved and doesnt talk to many people. he has like two friends total#which also conviently makes him easy for nick to isolate#sunny also has bpd! and he gets deeply attached to people who show him any kind of affection very easily#as i mentioned before he also tends to fall for people who intimidate or scare him -- people he sees as mentally superior to him#his self image is constantly oscilliating between 'im the greatest person to have ever lived' and 'im the worst thing to have ever existed'#he's extremely unstable. he has mood swings. he gets obsessive easily. he seeks out relationships with mostly toxic or older people#he doesn't have a good support system. he's socially anxious and an introvert. he's openly trans. most people think he's weird.#he has no stable sense of self. he has panic attacks. he's both hypervigilant and oblivious to lies and attempts at manipulation#all of this makes him a very easy target for someone like nick.#at least- at /least/-- nick genuinely loves him.#ask#tosteur-gluteal#rant#arsenic#i start talking about psychology and i get lost. my apologies
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words fail me
#my art#emeto tw#sorta#who needs sleep after your catbwakes you upmat 3am to hurl after a fairly fucken bad day not fuvken me#i cant be bothered w the typos#like how tdo people say words#they just tell people things...?......????????????????#wah wah i had a bad day and couldnt sleep and had a panic attack#when i put it ike that indont look smart#im starving also#idk why#have to get up then#the words just lodge in my stupid throat and i cant fucking spit them up without a reason and no telling people is not a reason#apparently art is a reason#i have more words secretly. its likely healthiest to putnthem here#i feel like crying whenever mom and sibling have a productive convo cause thatb means i didnt waste months of my life working with himonstuf#getting in the boat stuff. theres still problems i dont know where thr balance is. betther to clean the kitchen to show yoh care or better t#o trust people to understand the limits of others? who knows but be sure to yell at me in a panic because you suddenly want my help with it#i think it was a legit panic attack with hyperventilation and everything and it was the middle of the night and i had to be the one that tal#ks myselfnthrough it not that id really trust anyone to have that skill but its still fuckend up#im tired#im really very tired
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I seem to be literally cursed to never have a good Pride every year, which is definitely homophobia. I also blame my town for having it in late September for some reason, which is generally the month of the year bad things happen and the mental illness hits the worst for me. June is usually fine.
#one pride my grandfather died in the middle of the festival and i got the phone call then rip papa#last year a friend of ten years dumped me over my anxiety stuff and disinvited me to pride with them#i think i had a panic attack at another one#this year everyone's busy or working and can't come with me#they're having a comic con and i M I G H T be able to meet a friend there so im just going to that i guess#life of a nev
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have you ever heard a lego ninja soundtrack that makes you so excited and stim so hard that you cant breathe??
That's me with this one
#i wish i was joking rn#it's the middle of the night and im genuinely struggling to breathe because of how much i love this ost#im getting so excited that my lungs arent working#instead of a panic attack its like an excitement attack#/gen /lh#ill be ok :D#i wonder if i have asthma#ninjago#prime empire#asher’s rambles#Youtube
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#being terrified about a person you care about is so surreal#I've been on the verge of a panic attack for 4hrs now#anf being helpless is the worst#i can't help them#i can't even say everything will be okay#im just so scared they will be dead tomorrow#i just need to vent this out#and I'm like trying not to panic#cuz we cannot be both panicking#especially when im at home safe and sound#and they're in the middle of a war#yet i can't help but feel useless#never in my life have i been scared so much#i can barely function#can't think of anything else#can't do anything#just trying to stay sane#hell i don't believe in gods but fr if there are entities out there#they better keep my person safe#ill commit war crimes for them if i have to idc#i just need them to be safe#im so tired#and so fucking useless#ra rants#to delete later#i needed this out of my system#before i break
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everyone out of my house so i can pack loudly and quickly at 5am
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I cannot fathom how anyone manages to have a decent childhood considering how much our society dismisses, misunderstands, objectifies, and mistreats children. Like, the more I think of my childhood, the more it seems like the world just has this awful disdain for children, unless they can be used as a moral weapon. No one "thinks of the children" unless there's something in it for them. No one ever listened. No one ever cared. They cared if I and the other kids would shut the fuck up, but not if we were actually okay. Our suffering didn't matter as long as we didn't annoy the adults with it. Childhood fucking sucked. Childhood was just an exercise in frustration, humiliation, and dehumanization.
#god im so fucking salty#i was told so many times that id understand some day#and yeah i sure do understand now but it still aint justified#the best part is that if i try to talk to my parents about any of the lingering resentments i get told off#so i havent brought any of it up in over a decade and just sit here silently seething#because even now no one seems to care if children were hurt by their actions and choices#as long as they dont have to be bothered about it#wouldve been nice to have a single adult in my life who actually gave a fuck about me and how i felt#i was having panic attacks daily all through middle school and not one adult ever asked if i was okay or what was wrong#they just wanted me to stop#i was never offered help#i was only ever offered the option to keep my fucking mouth shut#'dont tell people outside the house the sort of nonsense you obviously make up or youll be taken away to a horrible place forever'#christ.#really wish i hadnt missed my therapy appointment last week lmao
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