#and im half american so imagine how everyone else feels | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

shoichee · 3 years ago

Note

Hello! First of all I wanna say that I really love your writing! It has me excited every time!!

I had this idea for a while and it always makes me go SOFT!

Haizaki, Imayoshi and Hanamiya (Separately) X f!reader. Like Reader would have a massive crush but it's basic friendship between them so they're really close friends/best friends. And since reader is friends with those baddies Reader usually keeps a tough front so one day Reader can't really hold it no more and Goes "Shut up and Just Hug me" while bawling her eyes out? Like I bet those baddies wouldn't know how to react but I think it would be really cute!!

Anyways Have a Good Day/Night Hun!! All the Love!!

ANON THE WAY THIS PROMPT HAS BEEN ON MY MIND THE ENTIRE 6 MONTH HIATUS, IM SO EXCITED TO FINALLY BE ABLE TO WRITE THIS BLESS UR GENIUS MIND, but wow this prompt is so damn challenging because these 3 are assholes in their own ways—

Also Note: these headcanons are hella long (this entire thing is collectively 19 pages long), like each feels like a whole anime arc LMAO because these three characters having a “favorable” reaction to the reader crying would need a ton of context, which includes: how they met, their relationship dynamics, and such… and these three also have their own definitions of what a “tough” reader is to them… so without further ado, I guess I’m beginning my active status with a big bang…

I would like to tag: @takatul @mihangry @nadav-ii @roppongiperfume @carinacassiopeiae @seijurosempress @kkeke99 @4kominato @bunny-girl-lia (@dust-of-fandoms | edit: it finally me tag you, and I cackled at your reblog hashtag LMAOO) and I would love to tag more people who stuck by me when I was active before, but I can’t find them/tag them! This longest headcanon yet is dedicated to you all and everyone else reading this... mess~

[Tough front f!reader]

Imayoshi Shoichi

you guys probably first met as classmates

sure, there could be a possible scenario where you guys met through basketball, but even so, Imayoshi isn’t the type to take note of people unless they’re in teams Touou has faced before/has a huge reputation… so the chance of him actually wanting to get to know you beyond your face and name is near zero

but on the other hand, as classmates… 1.) he’s pretty much forced to see you around every day and familiarize himself with your presence and habits regardless of what he does 2.) sharing the same class means that you both are smart smart (and someone who shares the same intellectual capacity as him is a MUST to get close to him)

good rule of thumb: the more classes you share with him (throughout the years, because the Japanese school system is quite the opposite of the American system), the faster you become closer together, because that naturally translates to more opportunities for Imayoshi to annoy you more

but half of the friendship development also requires your personality/reactions/things of that nature that might hold his intrigue for a long time

he’s met his fair share of people who have similar wit and irritability as himself, so if he met another Imayoshi-like individual… sure, it’s fun and entertaining as hell, but somewhat predictable in its own right since they’re, well… himself—and he’d like to think he knows himself very well (like Aomine being able to predict Kise even when he copied his basketball style of playing, for example)

imagine if there was a person out there who’s so stone-faced, so blank and unflinching at nearly everything, yet cold and spartan

spoiler alert: it’s you

and wow, holy shit—whenever you’re in the room, the temperature just drops several degrees celsius

everyone’s at least wary of you, and you didn’t even do anything wrong—your presence just elicits that impression out of everyone

Imayoshi couldn’t help but blow a slow whistle the first time he witnessed this with his own eyes

who would’ve thought he found a Kuroko and an Akashi (...before he lost at the Winter Cup) in one individual… let alone a girl (not that he cares about gender, but he’s amused that you’re an oddity in the average Japanese societal norm of a woman)

he had to do some probing, he can’t help it: the opportunity was too good to pass up

“Yo!” he calls out, approaching your desk on the first day of class. “Looks like we’re seated next to each other for the year. It’s nice to meet you, (l/n)-san.” (his polite Kansai accent never fails to stick out in the room)

you merely look at him before you went back to reading whatever book you had in your hand; he looks closer to note that you’re already getting started on the assigned book for the upcoming lessons

so what if he didn’t get a welcoming reply back? that’s fine with him; not everyone’s friendly on the first encounter

either way, he makes himself too comfortable on his seat, stretching out his limbs before he pulled out his usual pen to twirl around out of boredom

and that’s what happened every time he entered class, always making an over-friendly remark or two before you looked at him in silence momentarily

pretty soon, you’ve stopped giving him attention completely, blatantly ignoring him when he calls out for you early in the morning

a slow grin snaked its way onto his face the first time this happened

“How cruel, (l/n)-san! You hurt my feelings every time you don’t reply to me, you know? Really now, to think my efforts for friendship get constantly snuffed mercilessly. You’re really gonna make me cry.”

“Then cry.”

(cue everyone near you two slightly scooching their desks away in fear for their safety)

Imayoshi dropped his grin in hearing you reply for the first time

“No one’s stopping you,” you continued, yet your eyes were still on your own table, minding your own business, as if Imayoshi wasn’t worth your attention to begin with

“Yikes, you’re actually really evil,” he dryly remarked

“Cry about it.”

(YOU’RE JUST KILLING HIM WITH THE STRAIGHTEST FACE, HOW IS THIS HAPPENING…)

the worst thing was, Imayoshi couldn’t get a read from you one bit; normally he can “read minds” based on analyzing any body reaction or facial expression changes… but you exhibit nothing to base anything off of

Imayoshi has truly met an equal opponent for his wit, because you confirmed his assumption that you had much to say about things even if you never chose to indulge in social interactions, and it’s not like you’re bad at conversations—you just choose not to participate

pretty soon, he goes from giving daily “morning greetings” to pestering you at EVERY given moment throughout the day in the classroom

the teacher’s busy setting up a new lesson? you’re gonna hear some comment. it’s break time? you’re enduring comments for at least 10 minutes. you’re assigned to work with your “desk partner” for a class activity? you do your share of the work before giving the paper to him wordlessly… all while hearing his comments

“Honestly, with how much you run your mouth, I’m very much surprised your lips haven’t grown wings and flapped off of your face yet.”

you’re… a little impressed with his tenacity, thinking that he’d give up talking to you after realizing how fruitless his efforts would be… and mind you, Imayoshi was talking to a wall for nearly a damn month now, almost a month and a half

he’s a bit too patient for the wrong things, you think

“I’m flattered,” he easily shoots back with that infuriating grin. “But they say my charm lies in my linguistic abilities. I’m afraid I can’t afford to lose them just yet.”

“That is creepy,” you blankly deadpan at his smirk, before you return your gaze to the board… but you can easily feel his intense scrutiny in your peripheral vision

a day never goes by without multiple interactions like the ones described above happen

it slowly went from you ignoring him to you giving one-word responses like: “Great.” // “How nice.” // “Right.” // “That’s cool.”

you’re somewhat similar to him, he notices; you’re always polite with everyone, yet there’s always a clipped, frosty edge to your words that unsettles them

like how his politeness drips with a bit of jabs and arrogance that never truly puts anyone at ease

when Touou lost the first round at the Winter Cup, he was surprised to see you approach him the day after, and the first thing that comes out of your mouth was:

“Congratulations, Imayoshi-kun,” you said. “That loss was a spectacular show to witness.”

“You wound me,” he languidly sighs with his hands up in the air. “Must you rub salt in the fresh wound? Dear me, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were checking on my well-being.”

you finally give a slow blink to indicate some type of… reaction, though that’s not much at all

“Yes,” was all you said. “You are correct. Take this.”

… wow

the nerve

he’s… speechless

how the hell did you know of his drawing habits, and how the hell did you imitate it exactly?

and since when did you ever pay attention to basketball??

he’s processing a lot of things right now, but he first notices the “Congratulations on losing” and “101-100,” which was the final score of yesterday’s game

… you were watching them play?

“... My, my…” he coos. “I have many questions. Let’s start with the one about how much you’ve been actually staring at me in order to figure out that I drew in class, let alone how I draw.”

he looks up to anticipate an answer, but all you simply do is stare at him more intensely before you tilt your head slightly… as if you had no idea what he was talking about

his grin only grows wider, taking your silence as a challenge, and he puts your sketch on the table and gets up to step closer towards you and lean his body forward, hands in his pockets

of course, your expression never changes, simply moving your head back from the tilted position

“... It helps to open your eyes more, Imayoshi-kun. Maybe you’ll notice things you haven’t been privy to before. Your pen scribbles are irritating to hear on the regular, so my poor eyes witnessing such grotesque imagery was an unfortunate inevitability.”

“Ah-ha!~” he chimes, cracking his eyes open for the first time to you. “Is that so?”

you widen your own eyes slightly in response to making eye contact with his gaze for the first time, and damn Imayoshi for noticing it, because he immediately pulled away in extreme satisfaction and sat at his desk

and yet another day of school started soon after, but this time, Imayoshi was giving off the smuggest aura

. . .

after Touou gets eliminated from the Winter Cup, Imayoshi takes this free time as an opportunity to study for college entrance exams… while also bothering you on the pretense of “study buddies” since you two were in the same grade

though you were still as cold and collected as ever, you were WAYY more talkative with him at this point, though most of the dialogues exchanged were nothing more than him trying to ruffle your feathers up and you deflecting his attempts

and the entire 3rd year was just you two “bantering” (if you can even call it that), but no one would ever see either of you without the other

still, neither of you could deny that both of you guys are really efficient in terms of working together to get things done, where both of you turn serious and start analyzing the objective at hand

these times are when you guys have the more genuine conversations on more personal topics and such:

“I didn’t take you as someone who has a sister.”

“How mean! She’s raised very well as a respectable lady, y’know?”

“We seem to have two different definitions of ‘respectable,’ because have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Another female you sounds like an incoming migraine.”

“I can reassure you that she’s the considerate type of girl.”

“If you insist.”

or maybe another convo like:

“(l/n)-san, do you always have your face stuck in cement?”

“... Pardon?”

“You remind me of a few people who always have their faces as blank as a sheet—it’s kind of terrifying.”

“Always been like this. It’s more convenient this way to scare away nuisances, don’t you think Evil Glasses-san?”

“Clearly it’s not working.” (dryly replied, as always)

everyone’s terrified of you two and would clear the way every time they saw you guys walking by, let’s make that clear

both of you are clearly very polite and proper, always taking rules and responsibilities into consideration… but what the fuck, y’all are way too menacing—seriously, Sakurai wants to RUN to the opposite direction whenever you’re in his field of vision

you’ve been down lately though—and increasingly more somber as spring was coming closer that year—though, it’s more of the air you give off that would indicate this, rather than your facial expressions

in truth, you knew that your time with Imayoshi would most likely end once you two graduated, because he only interacted with you out of curiosity and convenience

but even though you guys were done with taking the exam, Imayoshi still comes to annoy you and hang out with you, so you were secretly relieved that you guys were still “close” in that sense

you become acquainted with Susa, the one who was unfortunate enough to be Imayoshi’s good friend and study partner before you came along; both of you share a mutual understanding and common ground of dealing with Imayoshi’s shit 24/7

. . .

alas, it’s a couple days before the 3rd years graduated, but you aren’t overjoyed at the fact that you are going to move onto a new chapter of your life

quite the contrary, you didn’t like what you were going to leave behind after your last day of being at Touou (yeah, it’s Imayoshi, but you didn’t want to admit it to avoid making this inevitability all the more tangible)

you were alone for once in one of the courtyards, having those moments of quiet contemplation, but for the first time in a long time, you felt tears streaming down your face, you heart feeling a painful squeeze at coming to terms about your inner emotions

your head raises up at the sound of leaves crunching, and lo and behold, it’s almost as if your thoughts summoned him to you

unlike his usual infuriating grin, his face was one of seriousness as he gauges your face… you’re crying

and you’re just staring at him silently even with the tears streaming

he’s a bit unnerved, but he’s a practical one, his mind racing thousands of miles an hour to crack down what you currently need and what the cause of your tears was

he’s an asshole, but he’s not heartless, and lately, he’d been feeling a soft spot for you

“... Do you want solace, silence, or solutions?”

you wordlessly walk to him before tightly hugging him

his eyes are cracked open, trying to figure out what the hell is going on

“... shut up and just hug me.”

he chuckles a bit before gingerly reciprocating, musing, “To think you would want all of the above—didn’t take you as a greedy person, (l/n)-san.”

you both share a comforting silence before you separate yourself from him… you didn’t dare raise your gaze to look at his face, knowing fully well that he was gonna hold this over your head for a long time

“... You never stop running your mouth, do you?”

“But you like me all the same, yes?”

you say nothing, but you stared up at him, your eyes slightly wide and mouth parted from what he was presuming as your way of being shocked… but what’s this?

he can’t tell if there’s a smidge of a flush on your skin or if his eyes are finally playing a trick on him

with the last of your tears still on your lashes, he might dare to call you beautiful

“I told you that my linguistic abilities are crucial to my charm.”

and you immediately went back to your default expression of indifference at his antics

“… You’re annoying.”

“You really can’t afford to be nice for a moment…!” he exclaims in mock-hurt. “But we both know that’s not what you’re really thinking.”

you finally give a sign of defeat—a long resigned sigh—before you opted to walk past him

that is, until Imayoshi stops you by putting his two hands on your shoulders and pulling you back a bit towards him

“Whoa there! You’re really going to leave me up in the air like that? Aren’t you curious enough to stay and let me finish?” you didn’t even have to turn around to know that he had a scheme in his mind

“Letting you finish has never been a good idea,” you dryly reply, and Imayoshi can’t help but genuinely laugh at you inheriting some of his own mannerisms at this point

he brings you even closer, his hands going from on your shoulders to slowly snaking them around your clavicles as he settles his head atop your left shoulder

“Even if I told you that I, too, find you too amusing to let go?”

“Who said I found you amusing as well?” you finally turn your head to his face

“Ah, but you didn’t deny that you didn’t want to let me go either,” he smirks, but it turns slightly more affectionate as he leans closer. “Say, I have a proposal that would be a solution to your current ‘predicament.’ Say that we both graduate, yes? There will be new challenges to tackle as an adult, no doubt. I can graciously offer you my indisposable intelligence for years to come in exchange…” his thumb brushes over your lips, his own lips curling up more when he feels how you got warmer from his touch “... for this?... How about it, (y/n)?”

Haizaki Shōgo

were you guys childhood friends? were you friends during middle school when he used to hang out with some of the Teiko kids? did you somehow worm your way to have connections with people he knew in some shape or form? friends with one of the starters in the Fukuda Sōgō team before you met Haizaki? classmates or ex-classmates/partners through coincidental circumstances led you to hang around even outside of school? did he once hit on you but you vehemently rejected his offer for a one-night stand?

the mystery of the beginnings of this strange friendship was always a subject of gossip and speculation (rightfully so)

but most likely, he probably tried to hit on you like any other girl, but you were the first to not only openly defy him and cuss him out, but also fend off his physical violence successfully through self-defense techniques by yourself

that HELLA surprised him… and also pissed him off

but he left you alone… until he came back to annoy you again a few days later after his pride recovered enough to face you again

“feisty” was what he often likes to call you nowadays

yes, this combative nature of yours always got you into less-than-ideal situations, even if you always meant well, and that aspect of yours always drew him back to you, even if you both hated each other’s guts

it was after the Winter Cup, when Fukuda Sōgō was eliminated, that you two interacted considerably more

“I hope that game taught you a valuable lesson or two, Haizaki.”

“Shut the fuck up, yeah?”

“Or what? Not like you can do anything to me anyways, you fucking clown—”

he immediately goes to throw a fast punch right for your neck, but you immediately dodged it, grabbed his forearm to twist it behind him

“Jesus Christ, you really do never fucking learn.”

he easily shakes off your grip and pulls away with a crazed look that never revealed what he was truly thinking

“I’m a pretty simple guy, yeah?” he sneers. “Just can’t help myself. Whatever, I got places to be at.”

and he never fails to finish his sentence with a lick to his thumb before strolling away

a simple guy, huh, you thought. yeah right

you picked up the fact that he licks his thumb when something is going his way, but recently he’s been licking his thumb before ending his interactions with you… which makes you suspicious as hell

nah, you’re overthinking it

it really does suck that you go to the same school as him, and as such, you are bound to meet each other outside of school too

these encounters always happen when you want to kill time in the local arcades or eat at the nearest fast food restaurants

“Ohhhhh, if it isn’t (y/n)...”

“Goddamn it, why does this always happen to me?” you openly facepalmed yourself before you sourly turn to the source of the voice. “Whatever you want with me, make it quick. I’m tired of seeing your ass around.”

“A quick fuck sounds up my alley righ’ now,” he says quitely loudly to attract surrounding passerbys’ attention in an attempt to humiliate you

he didn’t want to fuck you, not at all, you knew, but those were simply fighting words to piss you off

your face scrunches up in disgust at his words, before a slow smirk spread across your face… which Haizaki doesn’t fail to notice

“A qUiCk FuCk SoUnDs Up My aLLeY rIgHt NoW,” you mimic equally loudly, and you make it a point to pull your arms into chicken wings and walk in a circle around him to mock him

at this point this was when you ran while laughing your ass off… whether he tried chasing you down in contempt or not, you didn’t know, but you knew he was going to get his revenge

another day, you’re sitting at a table outside to eat your lunch when Haizaki casually strolls from behind to snatch a kebab stick out of your bento, which you weren’t quick enough to stop the basketball player

“Haizaki, what the fuck?”

“Oh? Was this yours? Oops… my hand must have slipped,” he drawls… again while licking his thumb

“Damn, I should’ve put snot on them or something before you stopped by. Maybe it’ll teach you to not take people’s food.”

“Hehh?” he gives a mirthless chuckle before he spits loudly on the half-eaten kebab on his hand. “Like this, eh?”

“I—” you gape at him incredulously. “That is the most unattractive thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on in my entire damn life—” you slam your own head on the table. “... Take the rest of my food. You damn ruined my appetite for the rest of this week.”

“Hell no, wench.”

“I insist,” you look up to hiss at him, throwing the closed bento box to him. “Keep the box too, sicko. You can spit your shit in there alllll you want.”

“Ya make me sound like I’m some bug,” he says. “Don’tcha know that the girl I had last night kept screaming to keep my tongue in her—”

“GO AWAY, OH MY GOD—SHOO.”

you immediately dash away with your hands to your ears, singing loudly “lalalalala~” to yourself to drown out any profanities and filth that came straight from Haizaki himself… without any regard to the students giving you annoyed or concerned looks

for some reason though, Haizaki can’t bring himself to throw away the bento box you unceremoniously threw at him…

… you weren’t that half-bad of a cook (he’d rather burn at a stake than admit that ever)

. . .

another evening, you decided to unwind at an arcade hall, making yourself comfortable at a shooting game machine booth

you got yourself a decent score for the first run, and you make a noise of happy triumph before a rude scoff interrupted your fun time

“You fucking suck.”

you immediately knew who it was

“I do not, you manwhore,” you whip your head to Haizaki, disliking his narrowed gaze of annoyance and disapproval of your playstyle. “There are 3 other booths next to me. Go put a token and play by yourself.”

to make your point, you slot in one of your own tokens to start a 2nd round and readjusted your grip on the gun to point at the screen

“Gimme that,” he jeers, pushing you to the side while snatching the booth-attached rifle off your hands

“H-Hey!!”

you harshly slapped his arm in a feeble attempt to make him listen to you, but to your surprise, he completely lets your violence slide and looks at you what that piercing gaze

“Since you’re so shit at this game, lemme give you a few pointers so ya don’t look like a royal dumbass next time.”

“Maybe you should give it back to me because maybe I want to look like a royal dumbass. That’d be a win in your books anyways—”

you’re interrupted by the booth’s loud intro music to indicate that the game was starting, so you have no choice but to observe Haizaki and his gameplay

and the entire time, he’d make a condescending comment every time he progressed further into the game map

… and you hate to admit it, but he was way better in technique of the gun and precision in aiming (your scowl only grows harsher the more points he racked up in the round)

his final score tripled of your own

“So whaddya think, hmm?” he muses lowly while grabbing your chin to look at him, to which you bat away his hand immediately

“I think you oughta give me back the damn gun, that’s what.”

“Hah? Now why don’t ya use one of the three machines next to me instead, like a good girl.”

“Eurgh, ew, ew, ew—ugh! You’re so—that was my spot—!”

you growl under your breath before you roughly snatch your small bucket of tokens and stalk your way to the machine booth next to his, angrily shoving a token down the slot before you hoisted the gun

(cue you out-scoring him in your fury)

(cue him beating your score again)

(cue you beating his score again)

and for the rest of the evening and night, you both kept at the shooting game, both of your prides refusing to concede defeat, all the while Haizaki taunting and goading you

that night you stormed out of the arcade hall when it was time for the establishment to close, with Haizaki’s gleeful cackling echoing down the streets to further mock you of the multiple L’s you took earlier

. . .

you’re sitting in a cheap eatery, lucky enough to grab a table by the window, and you grab your first burger, ready to chow down

that is, until Haizaki slid in the seat in front of you, and you literally snarled at him to go away

“Ya make me sound like I’m such bad company,” he slyly smirks, immediately snatching your other burger on the tray as if it was his to begin with

you don’t even give him the satisfaction of replying because all you do is aggressively bite into the burger while glaring at him, not even bothering to try to get the burger back anymore

so here you two were, eating your burgers in tense silence, before Haizaki finishes his first and leaves without a word… until he comes back with his own order to sit at the same spot in front of you

you merely raise a brow before you take the opportunity to steal his burger from his tray and feast on it

he merely clicks his tongue and glares at you but opts to not say anything

odd…

. . .

the more you “hang” around Haizaki, the more likely you’d accidentally encounter him while he’s having a tryst with another girl… and even more unfortunately for you, you accidentally encountered him while they were both heavily petting each other… when you just wanted to take a shortcut to your home from school

“Oh my fucking god?? Can y’all at least NOT DO THIS IN THE ALLEYWAY? There’s hotels for a reason!” and then you ran out so fast

. . .

these types of encounters and shenanigans would go on for almost 2 years; I would think that Haizaki would need some time to somewhat “mellow” out or at least tolerate your presence to be considered a constant in his life, so much so that he wouldn’t utilize physical violence as much as he did before

having you in his life, whether he liked to admit it or not, taught him to not have as fragile of an ego and pride, and he slowly learned to have some level of patience with you

otherwise you two would be going for each other’s necks beyond just aggressive words and gestures

and wow, you don’t even realize you had this stupid guy in your life for two whole years

you even have each other’s phone numbers

you’ve done a lot of reflecting, especially if being around Haizaki for so long somehow made you a worse person, but when you asked every person who knew you, they simply told you that you were always the same to them (in a pretty confused way, because what a strange question)

speak of the devil, Haizaki’s contact pops up on your screen as an incoming call; you sigh before answering it, knowing fully well that he would spam even more calls just to spite you if you didn’t answer

“What.”

you cringe when you hear a woman’s voice on his end of the line, but that feeling disappears once Haizaki starts talking

“Whaddya know? I’m starving after that session. Usual place, yeah?”

“Huh? What if I was busy, dumbass—”

“I know you ain’t.” and he ends the call as quickly as he started it

irk marks only multiply on your head when you stare at his contact screen before you started heading to your “usual spot”

“Tch, that bitch was hella annoying. Chick yapped her mouth as much as ya do when she shoulda been kissin’ and doin’ what we planned to do.”

“Gee, thanks,” you mumble, rolling your eyes and holding your temples with your fingers.

it became this weird thing for him to talk to you about his escapades and complaints about the women he’s recently been with; it started a year ago when he first did it to mortify you, but now it’s become something of habit… as terrible as it sounds

at… least he trusts you with this type of info? though you mentally chided yourself for having such low standards like this

on rare occasions, when you do share your own complaints/rants of your life to him, he somewhat listens, though he’s yawning half the time or eating something while you’re talking

on even rarer occasions, he talks about basketball

still, it’s somewhat cathartic in a way to have this routine between the two of you

hearing about him talk about women after women doesn’t feel good though; you wonder when you began to feel this way

you certainly didn’t feel like this a year ago

“Fucking damnit,” you mumble to yourself into your pillow

were you… possibly… no… in love with—

“Arfgghyrgfhurfhhhh!!!!” you screech into your pillow at the horrible thought that crept into your mind

. . .

you’ve been reevaluating your life and having an existential crisis at the horrifying realization of your poor choices that led up to this unwanted predicament in your love life

you didn’t come up with any solutions, let alone accepted the fact that you fell for this problematic man… who you may have thought about a lot more frequently than you would like to

no, you do not like Haizaki Shōgo.

… was what you kept telling yourself for the next 3 months of enduring him talking about his usual topics of video games and women without snapping and strangling him right there and then

you finally had enough when Haizaki called you once again, demanding that you two meet up at a fast food driveway for a bite, but soon after, you heard a different woman with an urgent voice: “Hurry up, can’t we go for another round before you go?”

you were just trying to have a peaceful moment in the park alone in the evening, too… looks like that’s ruined

you bit your bottom lip before you abruptly ended the call without giving an answer and threw your phone away on the grass, before you curled yourself up into a ball and let your tears fall unrestrained

why did you do this to yourself? this was what you deserved for liking someone like him.

who knows how long you’ve bawled your eyes out in the dark against a basketball hoop pole, but after being in the frigid air for so long that your fingers feel numb, it must’ve been hours

“You look so damn pitiful there, I almost mistaken’d ya for a lost dog.”

you still had your legs pulled up to your chest, your head tucked in to hide your tears

you pulled your arms tighter against yourself when you heard his unmistakable voice, and he was the last person you wanted to see right now

you immediately pulled your head up when you heard him strutting towards you though

it’s cold—you could see the wisps of air coming from his lips, and he was breathing really hard… which is weird considering he’s extremely athletic, and physical activity was a breeze for him

and he has the harshest look on his face for a while, his eyes narrowing further at the sight of your face

you immediately stand up from your sitting position

“Urgh, go the fuck away! Take a hint already, would ya?!”

he stands there in shock, the same type of shock he felt when he lost to Kise years ago… only worse

you’re in hysterics, crying and yelling at him, and he feels really troubled for some reason—like he feels a slight stir in his heart that he can’t put his finger on, and that makes him more pissed

“What the fuck is wrong with you? I swear, you women are too complicated—!”

“Everything is fucking wrong with me!” you scream at him, and fresh tears escape down your face. “Why do you even stick around me—just, stop—stop giving me hope that…urgh—shut the fuck up and just… (whispers) hug me—never mind…”

you didn’t even finish the sentence, your voice trailing off, and you look at him to see that he’s just… standing there

he doesn’t even say anything, he doesn’t even move

because he knew… anything he would say or do would upset you more, and for the first time, he realizes that his entire time with you all these years was spent pissing you off to no end instead of building any real bond with you

here he was, running around for hours to find you after that abrupt call (in all the restaurants, the arcades, hell—even all of the buildings and areas on campus, and even damn worse—all of the local neighborhood), ditching the woman instantly to look for you and yell at you for leaving him hanging, but the deepest part of him was worried—terrified—that something might have happened to you

women like gentle touches… right? maybe if he tried to hold you, restrain himself from any rough handling, you’d be pacified right? and go back to the same dumb, infuriating person you always were, right?

and what the hell were you muttering about a hug? where was the “you” he knew?

at this point, you’re just watching him, too scared to actually leave and turn your back on him… you still didn’t want to ruin whatever… “friendship” you guys had after building it for so long

the frigid air dried up your tears long before Haizaki decided to take a few sauntering steps towards you… and then a few careful steps before he’s in front of you—the you who’s still staring at him with furrowed brows

he tentatively reaches out an arm to touch your side, and when you don’t flinch (only raise a brow at his action), he fully grabs one side of your waist

“... I don’t know what the hell’s going on with you, but you made me fucking starve and miss dinner.”

your curious gaze turns into one of anger, and you swatted his arm off of you

“Oh piss off then, yeah? Get your damn burger yourself and get your filthy hand off of me when you literally just fucked someone hours earlier.”

“Ohhhh,” Haizaki is immediately relieved, the tension leaving his body when he knows he’s re-entered familiar territory. He leans towards you, head cocked to one side with a bit of a crazed, gleeful look. “Jealous, aren’t ya?”

you give a gasp of indignation and mortification before you reel your arm back to punch him; he deftly dodges you before he hugs your waist from behind, his lips to your ear

“Well if that’s the case… I can also give ya a good time.” and he licks your ear for good measure—

“Y-You… you!!” you’ve now gone on an endless barrage of kicks and punches, and Haizaki, knowing you for quite a while now, knows nearly every practical move you’ve thrown at him

and it goes on for nearly an hour, but Haizaki doesn’t care when you’re back to your normal self again

from then on, instead of going to different women for casual flings, he’s found new entertainment in flustering you and trying to push your buttons in terms of sexual innuendos and gestures

“Haizaki, that’s fucking harrassment—What the hell are you doing?!”

“Hehh? You’re more than free to punch me right now, go on… I can be a patient guy sometimes… unless you actually… like this?”

“Urgh, stop putting words in my mouth—!”

karma will actually kick him in the ass when he takes the next few weeks to figure out his real feelings about you

Hanamiya Makoto

who even knows how you two came together and saw eye-to-eye, but it’s quite a contrasting image to see Hanamiya sauntering down the hallway with you by his side looking quite unbothered and natural… as if you were always meant to be by his side

but the first time you two met… oh boy

the principal finally had enough: all these written complaints from these basketball teams from other schools, asking to shut down the Kirisaki Daiichi basketball team due to foul play allegations… it was time to get to the bottom of this issue, a thorn on the school’s side in terms of reputation

no matter how many times Hanamiya was given a warning, nothing changed

and no one wanted to be coach of the infamous team, all knowing the unsaid horrors if anyone tries to to tame and reel in the starters

the solution? a student disciplinary committee. usually the student council holds the responsibility of reporting and administering proper discipline within school code, but the new proposal suggests that there be a separate student body with leadership separate from the student council to focus on cracking down anything harmful to the “learning environment” (a.k.a. the basketball team)

enter you; you were nominated by many faculty members and students alike, agreeing that you should be the one to spearhead this discipline campaign… always kind, gentle, and sweet—you always seemed to know how to resolve conflicts efficiently and safely

and you accepted the role with a smile and modest thanks

your “priority job” (as strongly urged by the principal) was to deal with the basketball team, especially since rumors of what happened in the Seirin match began circulating around campus

it was one day after practice—when the team was done practicing rough play drills and enacting various scenarios to carry them out—and the starters were strolling out the gym

Hanamiya was the last to exit the doorway but once he slammed the doors unceremoniously and turned around, you magically appeared in front of him with a welcoming smile… and it looked like the other starter players walked ahead enough to not notice you

“Hey there! Super sorry to bother you! I know you guys just finished practice right now, but I would like to introduce myself as the president of the new student disciplinary committee^^” you write something on a clipboard you brought with you before looking at him again

“Ohhhh,” he widens his eyes in mock sincerity, putting a hand to his chin. “So that’s what the fuss in the office was about. My apologies for only realizing now.” There was a coo to his voice that if anyone else heard it, they would’ve known to book it right there and then… so why were you not affected at all?

are you fucking stupid?

“Great! Just wanted to let you know I’ll have to do mandatory check-ins with you every couple days or whenever conflicts arise. Sorry for taking your time, and have a good evening!”

you couldn’t be this oblivious. there was no way. everyone knew who he was and the reputation he brought wherever he went

he gritted his teeth at the fact that you weren’t cowering in his presence, and when you spun around to leave, he deftly grabbed your forearm to pull you back to the closed gym doors behind you

and he made sure that your back felt the doors as he cornered you closer like an agitated predator

“Listen here,” he lowly sneers, all traces of his nice facade gone, replaced by a dangerous glint in his usual gleeful expression. “I’ll let you in on something, president. I run how my team works. You can crawl back to your precious principal and kindly tell him to fuck off and mind his own business. You can also tell him that we don’t need a nosy bitch snooping around like she owns the place. The goody-president can see that this is all in the interest of the student… which is what you student council parasites always preach about…” he leans in closer, caging your body with two arms by the side of your head, and he’s a breath away from your own face. “... Right, (y/n)?”

“O-Oh…” you started, and Hanamiya’s wicked grin grows wider at your predictable reaction

now that’s more like it.

now that he REALLY gets a good, close look at you, you’re not half-bad; there’s just something about that innocence–the naivete–that really turns his gears and has him entertained (this man really has a “stupid girl” as his canon type of girl, I CAN’T—)

“... to think that I have to repeat myself.”

what?

you abruptly move your face even closer to his, your noses touching… your own closed-eye smile taking on a more sinister quality for the first time

“For someone with the supposed 160 IQ, you’re as daft as the dirt I step on, captain. I can easily shut this entire gym if it’s in the interest of the student body. Should I ban you guys from entering? Should I report your behavior to dispel the team completely? Your team’s fate is in my hands. You don’t run this show, dear. I’ll say it one more time: I’ll be checking in 2 days. Keep up the ‘good boy’ act until then, hm?” ( ◠‿◠ )

you take your clipboard to smack one of his arms out of the way to clear a way out for yourself before you hum to yourself and walk onwards

cue Hanamiya cussing and kicking the gym doors

now for the next few weeks Hanamiya has been noticing how TWO-FACED YOU WERE WITH EVERYONE ELSE… he’s so irritated, he’s SO ANNOYED that he’s been biting the inside of his cheek and gritting his teeth constantly while thinking about you

look at you smiling at everyone so kindly when you’re the most awful, sadistic person inside… yeah, he embodies all of that, but only he alone can have this pleasure of terrorizing everyone

they don’t even know your real side, look at you socializing with everyone like you own the hallways—

every comment he makes to you has been reciprocated with a “good-natured” response that makes it obvious that you weren’t scared of him one bit

you’re like… the female version of the rotten, evil Imayoshi

god he fucking hates it here

definitely has made plenty comments about the fact that you’re not his type—that you’re one of those types of girls that irritate him to no end… even still, he doesn’t know why he tolerated you

recently, when he makes those customary remarks though, you widen your eyes a bit or avert your gaze before you shoot back your retorts, though he knows those are things you do to feign reactions to mock him (little did he know that those were not feigned)

you’ve been successfully putting a leash on the team starters, but to be fair, the other starters don’t care because there’s finally someone who can put Hanamiya in his place and it’s the FUNNIEST thing in the world

in other words, you’re good in their books; dare I say, they consider you as a friend // Hara’s been known to give you spare chewing gum every so often recently

you’ve went from checking in on their practices every couple days to tailing behind Hanamiya every chance you get (because you realized the team can just fool you and pretend they’re playing honestly when you do check-ins)... and then it eventually developed into you two always walking side by side (but not because you two enjoy each other’s company, though! don’t get the wrong idea now)

he expected you to tell him to completely change how the team played like any other person has done, but surprisingly, you haven’t really said it out loud… sure, he noticed that you frown a bit when they practice foul play on the courts, but you never made a serious attempt to stop it

“I get what your strategy is…” you give him that knowing look and genial smile one day, and INSTANTLY Hanamiya’s day is ruined once again; he only scowls and walks on, knowing that responding would fuel your sadism further… that was how he dealt with Imayoshi in middle school, after all

you lay out the strategies, describing the rough play as a prerequisite to the “spider’s web” setup, and you finally note that these starters aren’t playing their true positions, but just arranging themselves to create that formation to begin with

“Congratulations,” he praises with that mocking saccharine voice. “Want a cookie for your hard work, Ms. President?”

“Oho–I actually do~ You know, we should try out that pastry shop near the block—”

“Fucking dream on, dumbass.”

he reallllyyyyy hates the fact that no one’s as scared of him walking by them anymore, mostly because you’re there with him… and for some reason, their minds have the audacity to think that you’re taming him in some way or that you’d protect them if he tried anything

give him a year to really get used to your presence, trust me

but recently, your attitude with him has gotten more reactive with him… snappier; you haven’t lost your edge, but you’re not completely mentally there with him 100% sometimes and you sometimes drop the Imayoshi-smile with him completely + show an actual reaction to his words and actions

so now he has a new reason to be pissed—because someone’s making a fool of him enough to somewhat ignore his existence and go daydreaming on him as if he was completely harmless to you… but he’s also smug that he’s visibly riling you up

but one day, you weren’t tailing behind him—in fact, he hadn’t seen you around at ALL

he’s not gonna go look for you, what kinda idiot would damn do that

but it feels… so wrong without you near… not like he’d ever admit that

he didn’t see you for a week straight

he’s sauntering down the hallways so casually but his eyes scan for your figure without him even realizing

he looks out of the window from a high floor, and (finally) there you are, sitting on a bench outside alone, and he feels that familiar twitch curving up his lips at the anticipation of getting under your nerves again

so he walks downstairs, goes outside to look for you, but before he can open his mouth to announce himself to you, he sees you wiping your face with your sleeve with a sniffle

you were crying

he’s shocked out of his damn wits, if we’re gonna be honest, but he quickly recovers before he starts processing this entire situation

he’s now pissed, because:

1.) who’s capable of making you cry to begin with?

2.) how dare someone make his (y/n) cry

3.) NO ONE is allowed to make you cry except him and him only

4.) he doesn’t like how shaken he feels when he sees you so different from how you normally are, and he can’t have that shit—he needs to be in control of everything… but now, he has no idea what to do… this type of scenario never crossed his mind and now he feels like a lost little boy

“Oy.” it’s a rough line, hardly comforting at all—scary even, but if anyone knew Hanamiya well, those deep furrowed brows with a harsh scowl meant that he was bothered by what he was seeing

“Urgh,” you sniffed. “... I’m… (sniff) not in the mood for your shit right now…just, go away—can it, (sniff) will you?”

“And miss seeing this ugly ass mug of yours? Hah, I’ll make myself comfortable rigggghht here. They say the misfortunes of others taste like honey, and yours is a bit too delectable to pass up.”

he’s standing right in front of your seated figure, but before he moves to take a seat next to you and plop down, you wail out:

“... Shut the hell up and just hug me already, damn it…”

he stiffens momentarily, but his body is going on autopilot, as if it was following your command, and before he knows it, your face is pressed against his midriff, your arms wrapped around his torso… and he’s aghast to see HIS one arm against the back of your neck and the other (that’s also attached to him!) on your back

and to save face, he puts the fakest “loving” tone into his voice, as if mocking you that you’re touching him like this and he’s just playing along:

“Look at our president, hugging the Bad Boy like I’m the most precious thing in your life. Hah! Is this in the best interest of the student body, too?”

you tighten the hug around him before mumbling, “... No… it’s in my best interest.”

“... get off of me—your snot is disgusting.” (to which you gripped his torso even harder to spite him in response)

he’s using this hug as blackmail (he FINALLY has dirt on you to use against you)

. . .

imagine the school uproar of everyone when they found out you two are an official thing later on

the principal is gonna faint and die from a heart attack at the news

“You know,” you muse, “you should actually stop beating basketball players up and just keep the ‘spider’s web’ part of the strategy. The latter actually has some intellectual merit behind it.”

“And why should I, my dear (y/n)?” Hanamiya goads, looking up from a magazine to glance at you but holds his scrutiny of you when you lean your lips to his ear

“I’m sure a genius like you can find a way to piss players off while still playing by the rules. Don’t you think that’s the most infuriating thing of all? The way you��ve glared at me in the hallways for the past year tells me that you agree with my sentiment. I’ve always noticed.”

he merely scoffs at your face, “Roughing ‘em up gives me the most satisfying reactions. Playing by these damn rules makes me no different than those starry-eyed try-hards.”

“So that 160-plus IQ thing was all just you blowing smoke on some admission papers to make you feel better about yourself? You poor, poor thing… Maybe that intellect could do better with a team that can actually utilize it…? Perhaps Seirin—”

Hanamiya snarls at you and moves to grab your arm closer to him, but you swiftly dodged his grasp like it was the easiest thing in the world

“Nu~uh,” you chided, walking away from him. “Grabbing another student is Code 0129 violation of an attempt of physical assault on campus! We can’t have your team disbanded now, right?” ( ◠‿◠ )

he’s gonna make you eat your own words later though, trust me… after all, he’s still holding the blackmail (that you cried over liking him a while back while begging him for a hug) over you

you’re the one winning though, you completed your objective in convincing the Kirisaki Daiichi team in playing more fairly… and it all took a bit of conniving maneuvers on your end

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jeongtokkie · 3 years ago

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cultural alienation

I think I’ve slowly come to realise over the last year that I now see my Asian heritage very different to how I saw it when I was in grade school (ages 8-18). And I’m also learning that what I was putting myself through was cultural alienation and resenting the fact that I was half Asian, half Vietnamese, yet not Asian American… This is by no means a sob story or a way to get attention but rather me just sharing my experience so that maybe others, if anyone else, can relate and feel some sort of comfort knowing that they aren’t alone as I felt growing up in a place where Asians were the minority to African American and Latinx communities.

To start off, I am aware that I am very white passing, but I have enough of an Asian appearance that people often never quite figure out wtf I am. I didn’t meet another mixed Asian-European until my first year of university. So you can imagine how ‘rare’ we were in my surrounding. During my school years, I had almost zero Asian friends and the ones that were, were very much americanised and not of South East/East Asian decent.

So I forced myself to adapt. I began to resent my Vietnamese name, my legal middle name that showed up on all records, refusing to ever tell anyone what it was because ‘that’s embarrassing.’ One time a teacher called me by it and was humiliating.

(I think my name was also a special kind of horror because of its dual meaning in the different Asian languages. Its virtually unknown in Vietnamese, probably bc ive never met anyone outside family speak Viet. However, its a very popular Korean dish, also known to non-Asians, and all the Asians surrounding me growing up were, you guessed it, Korean. To most people I was literally a food dish; it was a nightmare. It actually still kinda is, but now im proud of it bc it shows who I am and where I come from without even really knowing me. ‘No no I’m not Korean, I’m Vietnamese’)

So basically, I told people I was Asian but that was it. Now I realise that my americanised Asian friends were probably just doing the same thing. Assimilating to the culture that engulfed us, taking away our individuality because Asian culture was ‘weird’ and ‘too different.’ The way I lived at home with my family was a secret. No one could know about the little things that made us different. No shoes in the house, just eating with chopsticks, rice at every meal (granted there was a mix of food, both very French dishes and very Vietnamese ones, but that was already too different.) I was different enough as it was by being French, and not at all fitting in the American norms. Speaking French at home was already a shock to everyone (though in my head at the time it was, thank god it’s not Viet) My Franco-German last name, one letter off from an English swear word was enough. So I continued to reject anything related to my heritage. My mom and grandma suggested I wear the traditional Vietnamese ao dai for prom. You can imagine how quickly I shut down that idea. I can’t imagine how hurtful that was for them, to have family rejecting our shared culture. Looking back I wish I’d done it. It’s a beautiful dress that really highlights Vietnamese beauty. Actually, my mom ended up making my dress and the fabric and cut is kind of like a more western version of the traditional look, so maybe deep down I hadn’t completely rejected it but was still trying to fit in nonetheless, especially for such a significant part of American high school. By that point in high school I think I was slowly more accepting of being Asian but it wasn’t something I was ready to scream from the rooftops. To this day, I have never felt American, because I have such a strong connection with my homeland and nothing will ever take that away not matter how long I’m away from it. Instead, I accepted the place where I have lived most my life and how grateful I am to have this privilege.

University was the first time I was surrounded by other mixed and South East/East Asian diaspora. True, I was in a place were Asians were no longer the minority but I was interacting with them now. My housemates were Asian; we celebrated the Lunar New Year, had hot pot parties with games of mahjong, we all cooked Asian dishes together (dumpling night was always fun). It was the first time I could really relate to the lifestyle that my mother and grandparents had. That being said, I found that I connected more with the Asians international student rather than Asian Americans. I found that somehow, they were more like me, and that part I don’t quite understand yet, but this is a start in self identity. This was step one.

And then there were the things that you could watch from Asia itself, which I realise now that I had whole heartedly rejected because I never wanted to associate myself with ‘that.’ Things like anime I rejected because ‘eww they’re speaking a different language and its showing a different lifestyle to the one I was expected to live while being in the US; the animation looks weird, it’s not western.’ It was my reintroduction to Asian culture and how diverse it is, but also at the same time how similar each country can be to each other.

Dramas and series were another way to visualise it all. It was like ‘hey they’re like me, they do that like we do.’

And then there was kpop and music. This is probably the most recent one and the one that made me realised the internalised block I had put up because of my need to fit in when I was younger. My first years of high school I distinctly remember hearing about Kpop and BTS for the first time. Except it wasn’t a good reaction. It was one that judged people who did enjoy that genre of music. When Gangnam Style came out, everyone mocked it, made fun of the way they talked or dance. So I shutdown the possibility of ever liking a Kpop group. Every time anyone ever mentioned BTS the response was simple, ‘oh I don’t like that’ but until recently, I never knew why. I had never understood that it was an internalise block I had put up myself, because of the judgment of others and the shame of being where I was from, where my parents were from. I had heard their music, I knew I liked it, but liking something like that was just embarrassing and perfect for teasing. I was ashamed of ever liking something that wasn’t from the English-speaking part of the world. I disliked these people because I was scared that someone would find out and make fun of me for it and never thought for a second of giving them a chance. ((And for that, BTS, I am very very sorry. They deserve absolutely no hate. It’s their work to share asian culture and experience with the rest of the world that has greatly influenced this whole realisation actually. Better late than never, right? We’re making up for lost time now))

So to sum up, in my true artistic nature, it was different medias that made me realise my cultural alimentation and internalised phobia of my heritage just because we were from a different part of the world that was too dissimilar in so many aspects. Looking retrospectively at my art practice throughout university, I can finally see the pattern. A lot of my work revolved around culture, I now understand why. (That can be a post for another day) now I feel like I’ve reconnected with the pride that comes from being Asian and living it to the fullest. I’ve connected with my mum in a totally different way and we love talking about our culture and that of the rest of the Asian counties with interesting things we’ve learned. All the varying Asian cultures, especially through food. Cooking has been a love of mine for a long time and now we’re trying out all sorts of dishes from all over, it’s been a great experience, especially to share with my younger brother so he never feels like I did. If there’s one thing I can protect him from, cultural alienation is it. You lose yourself with it, left alone to grasp at false realities and not being yourself which is detrimental to your mental health. It’s that exact experience I would not want to recreate.

And all these realisations come from shower thoughts (I’m not even kidding lmao) so I’ll end this on a positive, light note.

Today, I cannot be more proud to be mixed Asian and European. I’m accepting and I couldn’t be happier tbh. I know that I’m not the only one to go through an identity crisis. It makes us human to be different, to have lived different experiences; it’s what makes us all special and valid to be ourselves, and that’s so fucking important. So love yourself, love each other

- 金枝

#the essay is here.....#its literally just my experience and the things that ive learned along the way #i know its really long so please dont feel obligated to read it #its just felt good to organise out like this #and tas really wanted it so here we go...#urusai sarah #this could be a memoir lmao #s: rambles

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seijorhi · 4 years ago

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asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

#ask #anon #rhi answers #ohh so many asks #i love you guys <33 #fic q's

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hotwings0203 · 4 years ago

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Okay idk wtf this is too but I’m bored at work so lemme do smthn rq.

Songs That Inspire My Works

Scary Yandere Songs:

Mezzanine-the song is sung is a very gritted-teeth type of way. Almost like the yandere is sitting in a dark room on a chair, just staring at a picture of the darling or mindlessly watching tv, positively seething about how giddy and happy she is. There’s one part of the song that goes “All these half floors will lead to mine” and it just makes me think of him basically saying that he’s gonna make her fall off her high horse and succumb to his level. Very Shigaraki vibes for a happy bubbly girl.

Still- verrryyy crazy drunk shigaraki vibes. The song was actually based on the lead singer who played with bones on a train track when he was younger. When the lyrics say “follow me into the trees, I will lead the way” that line gives me chills

Maidaiz-any generic yandere tbh, usually Dabi-actually, maybe Hawks cuz the voice is so smooth and buttery, and he’s singing about a chained girl surrounded by jewels and pearls. Idk it kinda fueled my Gilded Cage fic cuz he showered her with all this money and she still was just a captive at the end of the day

Dangerous- reminds me of kuroiro and tamaki sometimes, nothing too big here, just the reader feeling like they’re being watched by an unseen force

Kilmaa- OOOO now this is a good one cuz the whole music video and song itself is about a girl kidnapped into sex slavery basically and breaking out. In the video the girl is captured by this big powerful business man/mafia type guy, and at the end of all her trauma she stabs the guy and k/lls him. I’m thinking maybe hawks or dabi cuz yknow, big scary powerful guy gets his share of dues or whatever.

In For It- the song isn’t too scary on its own but just the slow kind of raspy way Tory Lanez sings makes me think of a darling in a club and is just dancing around when she sees maybe Bakugo staring her down all menacingly and lustful. She gets nervous and tries to avoid eye contact, but at the end of the song when it gets deeper and slower at the “I’m so offended” part, it makes me imagine he gets up and starts going after her.

Angst or Fluff

Turning Page-maybe makes me think of shigaraki or tamaki, very soft boys on the inside (and out for tamaki), like they start watching you out of the corner of their eyes unconsciously to catch you smiling or laughing. One of my fav lines is in there, “Your love was my turning page/where only the sweetest words were made” and idk it just makes me all mushy and soft

American Girls and French Kiss- I wrote a dabixhawks fic a while back, not one of my most popular pieces but I still had fun writing it. It was before 290 came out and everyone thought dabi knew who hawks was cuz of the childhood friends theory, and this song was kind of like a “fuck you im fine but not” vibe that went along with the angst potential of that side

Hold On Till May- this one I feel like can be used for dabi or shigaraki and their backstories. The song itself is about one of Vince’s ex gfs who was abused at home and would run away and wait for her parents to come find her(spoiler alert-they would never care enough to go after her). So I think in terms of backstories and exploring that part with the darling or character, you could take it both ways-either the guy is singing to the girl that it will all be okay, and that even though they’re both broken he’ll try for her. OR if it’s from the darling’s POV she could be saying like even though the character (Dabi or shiggy) have had a rough life shes there for them now.

Berenstein- super angsty song, reminds me of my ex tbh. Berenstein refers to (if I remember correctly) a memory shared by others even though the memory didn’t actually happen. I always think of this whenever there’s an ending where the character has to leave the reader and one day just reminisces about what they had. It’s like in the end they’ll move on and their lives don’t really change in terms of lifestyle of daily activities, but if they think back far enough, they can catch a glimpse of someone who used to be their everyhting. Very much dabi and shig.

Stay With Me- bakugo vibes, it’s like two ppl fighting and telling each other that the other was the one who left, but ultimately it doesn’t matter because he just wants them back and to not leave.

102- a lot of the 1975 songs get me in my feels (which is a tragedy cuz Matty Healy is islamophobic as fuck) and this one is another one. Major Dabi or Kirishima vibes, the song is about being friends and in love with a girl who is in love with someone else. It’s like you don’t know what to do with yourself and all that love you have for her

Anyways yeah if any of y’all wanna chime in w ur own fic song recommendations just reblog and continue this ig?? Tag people, or not lol just read all of this bs and have fun w it🤷🏽‍♀️

#personal #song recs #mha #bnha #yandere mha #yandere bnha #mha fluff #mha angst #bnha angst #bnha fluff

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biaswreckingfics · 4 years ago

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I GOT SO MUCH TO SAYYY!! gosh pls dont find me weird okay, and these are just my personal opinions and im not hating any groups!! but my unpopular opinion is: i think kpop has become very toxic after bts and bp got famous in America. And tbh if you ask me, i wouldnt want any other kpop groups to be famous in America... i only stan exo but i think i speak for all groups when i say they are safe as they are now... of course if exo ever get even more famous i will be happy and proud for their success. But look how fame and America has changed bts and bp... not tryna hate but look theyve changed, idk if anyone else noticed but after fame hits bts, i realised how theyve start to become very...white?? like they are so westernised and like example, they start focusing on America only, they even curse (not a lot but i’d still point out) casually like for example, jungkook singing a curse word in his cover song for jason derulo savage love i think (speaking of cursing, after nct127 got famous in usa mark started getting influenced by them too and he casually cursed like “oh fuck” and everyones like 😃😆) even i curse and im not saying cursing is BADD but yeah i am, and how they sing a whole song in english, not to even mention how toxic america is but in grammys they have sold tons of albums yet they didnt win anything but when they release an english song, they won.

Some half of them americans are very toxic, racist, and just theyre basically acid, like bruh, its evident that once bts got famous there are soooo much hate thrown towards bts too cuz theyre asians, or how some would say theyre gay or look like girls...if my favs (exo) ever get these kinds of treatments (not that they dint but veryy little cuz thank god they ain exposed to the western culture) i will B R E A K, i could never handle that so i would never want that to happen to them. Also noticed how, after bts got famous, most armys are equally as toxic, whether they are just stanning bts just cuz theyre famous there, or like how their fans dont even know anything abt bts and coming after so many groups and their fans. Most of them are fake and i think its cuz of the fame for bts lmao. One thing i’d like to say too tho, is how they are so overrated and their songs are played all the damn time, people would randomly talk abt them, like everywhere you go THEY ARE JUST THERE, like in my opinion if i am an army, i would just feel like they are so common and theres nothing special about them anymore and theres no excitement, like what even is the point anymore. idk if anyone gets me but thats just how i feel about my favs being “wOrLdWiDe fAmOuS”, i will love them and their music but its just something i think about tbh🤷🏻‍♀️ like let me listen to them on my own and vibe and love them, dont play it 24/7 just cuz they are famous and ure tryna get people’s attention, like imagine ure in the subway and u hear ur favs song cuz its EVERYWHERE and ure there like 😐😐 not that u dont love their music but its cuz horrible people dont deserves to listen to their songs, and like people arent going to appreciate them anyway so yeah i feel uncomfortable listening to my favs as others dont even bother, like imagine if that subway is filled with people who are in ur fandom, yall would just hv the best time in the world and VIBE, if not what even is the point. Idk if im explaining it properly, but its badically like, u feeling UNCOMFORTABLE or should i even say SELFISH cuz u do not want to be sharing ur favs with people who dont even deserve to KNOW about them. Basically like seeing how someone you HATE or bullied you back then talking and being all friendly fake with ur BESTEST FRIEND or even boyfriend/girlfriend, cuz u just want to protect them from EVIL (im so dramatic)

And well lastly, no Bts did not paved the way, or “bts is the best and only group” like no, so many amazing artists were breaking records way before bts was even a thing (no hate to bts) but they really need to get slap for having that mindset, they really make a bad image for bts...tbh kpop before was so peaceful (a little toxic but still, compared to now...BYE) and everything was just about idols and fans love, listening and supporting and loving their music and just so comforting... urgh anyway thats all i wanna say and here are some texts i saved relating to kpop groups going famous worldwide uwu

these are also examples, and honestly speaking here, i dont want to be specific as in “exo” cuz i think this happens for ALL the groups out there and the love and relationship between the idols and their fans (family) are just beautiful, but for bts and armys... tbh i feel bad because i just dont see or feel any love they hv for each other (sure we see bts saying i love you armys or armys supporting bts but with all the toxicity in their way, theres just no spark or chemistry or bond no more it’s basically like one direction and their fans and thats all they are, celebrity-fan, but for kpop its family), i can see other groups and their fans interacting or how idols would light up talking abt their fans, but for bts, theres just soooo much mess going on in their fandom its not special anymore, they lost the deep meaning of their group love and IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT but YEAH DJSHSKSJ OH and to add somethign else, they got famous in America, look at all the collabs🤡🤡 blackpink with cardi b, bts with nicki etc... not that collabs arent fun... im just saying these american artists... they dont exactly have a good reputation (americans singing about sex (not the good kind), money, girls and drugs) 🥴🥴 dont influenced my faves and let them be exposed to the toxic culture YALL GET ME?? KPOP HAS THE LETTER K FOR A REASON😭😭😭 let them be their own shining star, not everything has to be involved or a part of aMeRiCa to be amazing.... PHEW IVE SAID IT NOW BEFORE ANYONE GETS MAD AT ME, I DONT MEAN TO SOUND RUDE TO YOU, if youre an american and youre no where near being toxic, I LOVE YOU but im just saying, the western culture is toxic and im just saying what ive been observing and noticing🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️ ps: i still love exo till the max and everything about them is perfect and theyre just amazing people (everything i said that bts and armys dont really have anymore, i think thankfully, EXO (sorry im biased) most fandoms still have so much of the L O V E there and i find that extraordinary) and he fandom is so comforting and amazing and idk dkdjjdjss thats why i dont want them getting famous worldwide...sorry exols ANYWAY THATS ALL FOR MY RANT ITS 4AM AND I AM THINKING OF DELETING THIS💀💀💀 anywya sorry for taking up so much space but i just wanna say I FREKAING LOVE NO EXIT, NO LIMITS, basically all ur exo fics cuz why not🥺🥺 i think ur writing skills are amazing as well as the plots and all especially forsaken, and THANK YOU for two bbhxoc fics😭😭😭 i cant!!! also if u reached here idk i-🥲 i hope u didnt get mad or offended 👀

Reply under the cut!!

Kpop has become extremely toxic with the growth of international fans and the rise of 3rd/4th gen. I wasn't around to experience the previous generations, but I know damn well they weren't a mess like these newer ones are.

Gaining fame in America does seem to change idols, and idk why. The group members change and the music changes also. While I do enjoy hearing idols swear (guilty pleasure) and I am an American so I get to enjoy their English songs, I can see how it makes all the other cultures/countries feel some type of way.

I will say this, though, the Grammys are shit and I dont get why people care so much about them. They've proven time and time again the awards don't go to the best artists. However, this doesn't mean that I think BTS deserved a Grammy imo.

Americans are a very toxic and hate filled bunch (again, I am one, so I get to see this shit every day). I 100% know that some of the hate directed towards Asians is because of racism (as seen by the insane uptick in crime against Asian Americans right now) and because some see kpop male idols as too feminine.

BTS is literally everywhere, which is one of the reasons I stopped listening to them tbh. They'd be in commercials, on talk shows, late night shows, in magazines, on the radio, just everywhere. It took the joy out of watching anything from them just because they were always in my face, so I can see what you mean.

I feel like the relationship between BTS and army has changed (from an outsiders perspective). Its no longer about loving and supporting your group and being happy for them. Now, its "so-so wants this? We MUST do everything in our power and spam every possible thing ever so they get what they want". Its almost frightening. They also no longer care about the quality of the music being put out. Doesn't matter what it is, they stream the ever loving shit out of it and make it break records when, honestly, it doesn't deserve to (again imo).

Lastly, I didnt get mad or offended haha. I understand a lot of these viewpoints, and thank you so much for liking my work!! I do wonder what would happen if I made a true BBH centric fic and not just spin offs or continuations of previous works where oc ends up with BBH 🤔🤔 I think that fic would have too much power haha.

#unpopular kpop opinions #sehunsthetics

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alchemist-shizun · 5 years ago

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About that Carry On Prinxiety AU

For now I laid out a bit of the plot, if you want to share some ideas just hit me up~

This is going to be a LOT to take on my shoulders but I will try and probably fail BUT TRYING IS KEYWORD (i really do believe in myself don't I? Everything under the cut!)

Since they all have their peculiarities, I'm gonna say that yes Virgil might be the Baz and Roman could be the Simon of this story, but I think either would fit for different reasons so they just have the same energy and will keep their own characterization. (If I'm able to not go ooc on this one wish me luck)

If I'm creative enough I'll try making an American school that is located in Florida, so that the characters know nothing much about what's happening in Watford and I can still make references without chronological contradictions.

Thomas could probably be the head mage too. I'm imagining him being very interested in the Normal culture and dressing like a Normal adult instead of the head of a great magical school, his "obsession" (kind of like Arthur Weasley's, if you will) is not really well-liked by most of the mages (especially the Old Fams), some believe that the students should have a better example instead of a man that always seems on the verge of leaving the magic world behind. The students, on the other hand, love him very much thank you. (yes even the ones whose parents insult him)

Oh my god I just had an epiphany: imagine Thomas obviously being in love with Disney and maybe Roman is very close to him so like he's talking about Virgil and Thomas just STRAIGHT UP STARTS SINGING SMTH LIKE THE MUSES' PARTS IN WON'T SAY IM IN LOVE OR LIKE THAT LION KING ONE AAAAAAAA and Roman is like ssss t o p but in the end joins in because he's w e a k (same)

Anyway for the main bois what I was thinking was that, with the prophecies about the Chosen One being there for a long time and them not knowing about Simon or anything, (this is becoming like Skam, there are many Snowbaz in the world) they just so happen to find in Roman an extraordinary amount of magic

Everybody is convinced Roman might be the Greatest Mage, the info flies out into the magical world of America but they decide to not share the info with other states. Roman gets very excited about this and works hard and trains himself in preparation for the big moment where he was going to have his big fight.

Virgil is his roommate (oh my god they were roommates), and of course, they can't stand each other at all. Virgil is definitely fed up with this story about the Chosen One, which Roman brings out in any possible conversation, so he uses it against him to tease him. Just imagine Roman bragging about something and Virgil being like "yeah but for a Greatest Mage you still haven't done anything so Great", or like Roman is having trouble with a spell or a subject? "Aren't you the chosen one?", Virgil only brings it up to make him mad and loves his flustered face. (keyword "loves" *wink*)

As much as I'm hopelessly in love with the idea of Vamp!Virgil (which would fit if he had Baz's role), I just had an angsty idea so I'm saving it for later c:

Hey how about a half-elf Virgil??? Anyone? Sorry I love elves

As for the time they spend together, they do the same thing as Simon and Baz, they avoid each other, spend time out of their room if the other's in there, make up different routines so they don't have to share anything and only really stay in the same room if they have to sleep. (idk why i said "if" like they don't need sleep)

Let me remind you that the beds are very close.

One time Roman woke up in the middle of the night and screamed in fear upon seeing a figure on the window.

It was just Virgil and he almost fell out, he would have probably smacked his head if it wasn't for the roommates' anathema or whatever it is called in english.

Virgil said he just couldn't sleep but he will never admit it was because of a pretty violent nightmare.

Roman does really think that he doesn't sleep at all and just uses his magic to stay awake judging by the dark circles under his eyes.

idk about you but I like the idea of Logan being something similar to Penelope, so Logan is Roman's best friend, they had met in the first year and Logan seemed one of the only ones who didn't approach Roman only because of his fame about being the Chosen One. Logan is simply amazing and brilliant at all subjects and surprises everyone since he's said to come from a family with weak powers.

Roman finds in him a very valid studying companion and he has to admit a lot of his best spells come from practicing/learning them from Logan. Also Logan loves explaining the stuff he's learnt, while Roman has this insatiable will to know everything to be able to defeat whatever bad guy will present in front of him. They basically become inseparable, despite having some friendly fights that are always solved with a snack break.

They !! deeply !! care !! for !! each other !!

Out of the other characters idk if Patton would fit anybody entirely, but I'm going to keep the 3v3 groups, so Pat will most likely be hanging out with Roman and Logan, he's actually very good friends with Virgil (none can escape Patton's friendliness) and tries to reason with Roman when he's mad about something Virge might have said. He's probably the reason why he hasn't killed Virgil yet. Patton doesn't come from a big family and lives with his grandmother when he's out of school. (I still have to develop this)

Forget about Dev and Niall and get ready for Deceit and Remus. I don't wanna give a headcanon name to Deceit bc I don't have one so he's gonna be a mysterious boy and everyone will call him Dee since it's the nickname I use for him. Both of them are two chaotic messes in their own ways. Dee, despite still being composed most of the times, is VERY fixated on his society discourses and arguments, he could come up to you one day out of the blue being like "so about the plan to overthrow the government" and you probably never even heard of it in the first place

JUST GIVE ME PASSIONATE DECEIT

Remus, on the other hand, messes a LOT with spells and you can see him traveling to the weirdest places. One day he was found trying to make the water creatures do a circus bit for him. People don't know how he's able to make his way through tests, but it's actually because he loves bugging Dee since he doesn't give the slightest shit about the weird things he suggests and they often end up studying together.

(I had the wildest thought thinking about Remus as Trixie)

Virgil, Deceit and Remus are what people call the "Untouchable trio", only because they come from the highest and oldest of the Old Families. They had been friends ever since kids since their Families met quite often, they never really fell apart despite being very different from one another. They're actually pretty chill people, it is only their surnames that make some people wary of them. They're not generally approached by anyone.

Idk if I wanna bring Emile and Remy in this, but I am tempted™, I'll think about it

So, Roman, am I right? Forgot to say he comes from a pretty big fam of hunters, they're the types of people that are lovable but won't hesitate to kill a bitch if needed.

But Purp, where's our creativitwins content? Thing is, yes they're actually brothers, but they were separated ever since kids for reasons none really knows? They never talk about it, even if asked to. They were given to two different families. They're aware of each other, but none has ever seen them interact. (I might find some angsty backstory on this just you wait)

Up until here Roman has always believed himself to be destined to the greater good, he's the chosen one, his destiny is the one to be the protagonist of the magic world and its hero.

At least that's what he thought until the fifth year.

One day during the fifth year, Virgil was doing homework on his room's table when Roman bursts in, louder than usual, and throws himself face-first on the bed, uncaring about ruining his hair or his clothes. That was an unusual sight since he never came into the room before evening or even before dinner. Virgil immediately knew something was wrong, but he didn't realize how serious the thing was.

So of course, he teases him a bit trying to get some info from him but only makes the situation worse. When Virgil calls him Greatest Mage as a joke, that's when Roman finally snaps at him in a way that Virge would have never expected. Roman really is enraged, yells at him and throws his pillow across the room since he can't hit him. He storms out of the room when he feels tears forming in his eyes, but can't really hide his sobbing as he goes away.

Virgil is just standing there, aware that he had just made Roman cry for the first time in his life and hated the sight with his whole being.

Roman had just learnt that he wasn't, in fact, the Chosen One, nor the Greatest Mage. Just an ordinary mage, like anybody else, who, in his opinion, had no other destiny than to finish school, find a job and just ... live?

So he's destroyed, all those dreams revealed themselves to be castles built in the air.

School is ending and Roman is just a bit numb, he's not really failing his classes but he's not as bright as ever. He barely leaves his room and doesn't talk to his friends as often, who are very concerned. Even Virgil tries to talk to him at some point. Thomas visits him when he has time and tries to work through the issue with him, but for the rest of the fifth year, there's nothing much to do to cheer him up.

Things seem to go back to normal as years pass and he's not in the spotlight anymore, none really talks about the Greatest Mage anymore and mages just carry on with their studies as they've always done. Everything's fine and normal.

And Roman hates it. But he's working in the shadow, so none notices his discomfort.

It only happens when he reaches the eighth year. It's impossible for Virgil to not recognize that Roman is slipping away at night and only comes back after some hours, either with dirty clothes or things tangled in his hair, he always came back different from when he left, meaning he definitely was wandering off outside.

One night he really can't stop thinking about how worried he is that Roman might get in trouble by himself, while he could probably prevent that, so he decides to follow him. Apparently, Roman is trying to find some kind of important and scary adventure to prove to himself that he's not as useless as he thinks himself to be, but Virgil still doesn't know this.

Virgil doesn't know what to do about the situation and decides to talk to Patton about it, in the end, the two of them decide to make a plan to talk to Roman with Logan, too.

On the other hand, Roman had been seen hanging out with Deceit or Remus, or both at the same time, trying to pry out information from them about how to get to certain forbidden spots of the school if he ever needed to. Surprisingly they don't ask many questions.

Chaos ensues when one night everything goes horribly wrong.

SO YEAH these are a bunch of things that I got right off the bat, I still have to think about the entire plot but don't want to spoil anything, basically the story would begin on the eighth year, just like Carry On, when Roman starts sneaking out. There might be things I need to fix but still I repeat that this is just a draft or a bunch of ideas that I got together somehow.

Tags: @soul-of-a-vixen & @flowersheep who wanted to know more about it~ (I'll write it as soon as I can!!)

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victorianoir · 5 years ago

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The Detective and the ManFatale, Part 4

Onward!!!! Part 4!!! The end of the ManFatale arc!!!! If you’re like “WTF is this?” you can read all of it by going to my MASTERPOST for The Detective and the Tech Guy. If you want to read this chapter on fanfiction.net, you can do that by clicking >THIS<.

Enjoy!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He'd just had to steal a parking spot from a little old lady who was just barely able to see over her steering wheel, and he felt bad about that, he really did. But it meant he was able to catch up to Sarah fast enough to be able to see her enter the office building she'd told him about earlier.

Just like she'd said, the building was off of Melrose, in SoHo. But he didn't follow her inside. Instead, he moved behind a short palm that was planted in a courtyard off to the side, complete with benches and planters. He leaned against the trunk of it and stared at the entrance.

He was old hat at this now, after a few days of tailing that asshole Fake Cartwright. Robbie. Pfft.

Maybe tailing his girlfriend while she was working wasn't the greatest thing he'd ever done in their relationship, granted. And she would probably be so mad at him if she knew he'd gotten in his car and followed her as best he could without getting too close, knowing she was way too smart to let herself be followed as closely as he wanted to. He'd nearly lost her a few times even, but he'd gotten back on track eventually, not wanting to be directly in her line of sight because she was a damn detective and she knew what his damn car looked like.

But it scared him to death hearing her yell, the dial tone…Seeing those papers scattered over the floor as though she'd had the file in her hand when Not-Cartwright had broken in, grabbed her, and yanked her out. God, the things he'd been unable to keep himself from imagining on the way there.

And then when he saw she was safe, when he held her in his arms, having to watch her leave again to go someplace potentially dangerous, and with no cell phone, no way to contact him, or more importantly, the police. That mean Detective Casey guy. God, that guy was a jerk. But at least he'd be able to back Sarah up if she called him, if she was in danger.

So Chuck had done the only thing he could think of to make sure she was okay. He'd followed her. He did have a cellphone. And a vested interest in her safety, damn it.

And he was going to watch those doors like a hawk. If this Jerald Brown fellow wasn't the upstanding tech guru Chuck had always figured he was in spite of never meeting him face to face, Chuck would take him down himself. He'd played flag football in junior high P.E. He knew what he was about.

He waited, waited…waited some more…

Until he spotted something out of the corner of his eye. He ducked back behind the palm tree as best he could and watched as the man he now knew wasn't Robert Cartwright strolled up the sidewalk towards the building, in his off-white suit, pale pink tie, suede shoes. A chill went through Chuck as the man stopped and took his sunglasses off, peering up at the very same building Sarah had just gone into to meet the man this imposter hired her to investigate.

His phone was in his hand immediately. He didn't have a direct line to Detective John Casey, but all he had to do was press three numbers.

There was no reason why this man should know what was happening in there. There was no reason why this man should know about this building in the first place, unless…well, unless he knew. Had he followed Sarah, too? Or had he followed Brown?

How did he know?

Oh God. God, Sarah didn't have her cellphone. And now he was going up the steps. If Chuck followed him, he wouldn't be able to stop him. This man was a seasoned criminal and possibly a killer. He definitely had a weapon.

God, he was opening the door.

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"

"There's a woman being attacked inside of an office. A man went in there and he's attacking her. He has a weapon." He gave the address, told the operator she needed to hurry, and he hung up again.

It killed him, absolutely destroyed him, to move away from the building. He felt like he was dying as he spun on his heel and sprinted back to his car. He was leaving her in there, alone, and he was so terrified he was on the verge of a breakdown. He was angry with himself, sick with himself, and still he got into his car, turned it on, and with only a half glance back at the building his girlfriend was currently inside of with an angry, potentially murderous conman, he sped away from her.

God, he hoped he was doing the right thing. He hoped to any deity that was listening that he was doing the right thing.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Sarah's hand twitched automatically, ready to draw and put this imposter on the ground with a hole in his chest, but before she could do anything else, there was a loud bang and the arm of her chair exploded in splinters.

She yelped and fell out of the chair onto the floor, holding her hands up, her life having just flashed before her eyes.

That had been an extremely precise shot, not meant to hurt her…a warning that he would hurt her if she gave him any sort of reason to. He'd just missed her but she had scratches on her wrist and the back of her hand from the splintered wood exploding next to her.

"Stand up, kick your gun over here, Miss Walker," he demanded coolly, the South African accent gone. His American accent sounded practiced, too, however. "And then keep your hands in the air. You move wrong and I'll shoot you between the eyes. I've got nothing to lose now. Don't think I won't shoot a pretty girl…"

Sarah stood up and carefully went into her holster, pulling her gun out, setting it on the ground and sliding it across the tile floor to the conman.

"You stand up, too, ya fat fuck," the imposter said to Brown, reaching behind him to shut the door as much as he could with how he'd broken the handle getting in.

The private investigator and ex-Pinkerton detective felt anger start to rise inside of her. Not only did this fucker take a shot at her, he was going around calling good men 'fat fucks' too? She clenched her jaw, unable to help herself.

"You think you're a big boy now that you have that gun pointed at us," she said, keeping her hands up. But God she could feel that knife at her hip, and the ones strapped to her thigh and her fingers itched for them. But the only safe thing to do was to throw verbal barbs at him, so she kept going. "You can insult Mr. Brown when you've got a gun trained on 'im, but I bet just a few days ago, you were kissing his ass, weren't you?"

"Who the hell do you think you are, bitch?" She narrowed her eyes dangerously. "Sarah Walker, private investigator. Without those legs, you'd be working at an Abercrombie & Fitch spraying perfume at teenagers."

She inwardly smirked. He might be a dangerous conman, and a smart enough criminal to have gotten away with his ruse for this long, but he hadn't done his homework apparently. He had no idea she'd been a Pinkerton detective. He had no idea whom he was dealing with.

"You picked the wrong P.I. to hire, Cartwright," Brown said, his voice a little shaky as he stood behind her, still at his wife's desk. "She's not just good at her job, she has a moral compass, and a nose for sniffing out criminal lowlifes."

"I did all right, didn't I? Who's standing here with the gun?"

"What are you gonna do?" Brown asked, seeming to gain a bit more confidence now. "Kill us?"

"Yes, actually. I am. Nobody knows we're here." That was true, Sarah thought miserably. Chuck only knew that she'd gone to an office building in SoHo off of Melrose. There were a handful of them. And he'd have no way of knowing if something bad was happening to her. God, she wished so hard for his paranoia, his idiotic jealous paranoia, that worried crease he'd had between his eyebrows…Please, Chuck… Maybe she could telepathically project terror at him and he'd feel something. They were close enough, emotionally bonded, weren't they? She'd never been so connected to anyone else in her entire life. Wasn't that how that weird crap worked?

Please, please, please, Chuck…

"What did you do with Cartwright?" she asked. If she could just get him talking, she could stall whatever it was he meant to do with them.

"I didn't touch the rat bastard. It wasn't me," he groused. "Wish it had been. He was a lousy piece of shit by all accounts, swimming in his money, an asshole to everyone, greedy."

"So he is dead, then. Who did it if it wasn't you?"

"He's dead. There was a storm, destroyed his boat probably. Found some wreckage where I was in Point d'Esny. Also found his body. Nobody else was on the beach so I took everything I could carry, took his body out onto the water, and dropped it with a bag of sand. Got rid of his boat altogether. Wasn't until a few days later I found out he was a Cape Town big shot. But he was a recluse, too. Nobody ever really saw him much at all. Perfect opportunity for me." He shrugged, and Sarah watched for any opportunity she might have to catch him off guard, but this obviously wasn't the first time he'd held a gun on someone. And she was sure this wouldn't be the first time he'd killed either…if it turned out he got that far.

And oh God, what would she do if he started shooting to kill?

"How did you even pull this off?" Brown asked.

"Easy. When the guy was alive and had less dead-bloat than he had when I found 'im, we looked pretty similar I guess. His IDs all worked long enough for me to forge new ones. Nobody asked any questions when Robert Cartwright showed up in Los Angeles for business. The checks all worked, the bank tellers all let me walk right in, the credit cards worked. I've made a fortune off of this guy, all because he was a shitty sailor."

He kissed the tips of his fingers.

"You're deplorable," Sarah said.

"Mmhmm. Deplorable enough to kill you two so I can get away with it all."

Brown cursed. "You aren't getting away with a damn thing!"

"I am. I've already destroyed any records that I was ever here. I've sold most of his African possessions, withdrawn every last cent I could from the banks. After I'm gone, they'll probably file a missing persons report." He chuckled and grinned a now twisted version of Alain Delon's smile. She wished she could apologize to the French actor for ever thinking he was similar.

This asshole wished…

ManFatale, Chuck had called him near the beginning of this damn job. She'd made fun of him then, but now she saw just how right he was. There was a good chance she was dying here today, in this office with the knitted pillows. Underestimating this bastard was her downfall.

"You don't think they'll dog your steps no matter where you go?" she asked then, starting to let anger overtake her fear. She liked anger better. It was better than giving in to despair, despair that she'd seen Chuck for the last time not an hour ago, climbing into his fuel-efficient car, after trying to make her take his phone. Maybe if she'd taken it, she could've secretly hit the emergency button on it.

What was he going to do?

What would he do if she died here today?

Oh, God…

No. Anger. Anger was better.

"I've covered my tracks."

"You haven't covered shit. The FBI, the CIA, the NSA, they've all got guys who find pieces of shit like you every single day. You aren't getting away it with no matter what you do to us," she hissed through her teeth.

The imposter angled his gun down suddenly and shot, sending a bullet clattering into the ground at her feet. She screamed and clasped her hands to her mouth, jumping away. He raised the gun and shot again, hitting the desk right next to her hip and she fell to the side, onto the floor. Brown knelt down behind her, a protective move, but this time the bullet that came from the imposter's gun was true.

Brown hit the tile hard, a hole in his shoulder as he cried out in pain.

Holy shit!

Now there was fear inside of her. Abject fear as she acted fast, grabbing Brown's hand and making him press it against his wound. "Just hold it…press down, you'll be okay…"

"Get up," the imposter growled at her, stepping closer. She ignored him as she tried to help the injured man. "I said get up!" he yelled this time, grabbing her by her hair and yanking her to her feet.

She heard sirens in the distance and she knew as his eyes darted to the side in momentary worry that this was her one and only chance to get herself and Jerald Brown out of here alive.

Sarah Walker, P.I. struck fast. She swung her left arm around, clamped her fingers around his wrist and pushed the gun away from her temple where he'd been holding it. He pulled the trigger, breaking the window behind her, and the sound of it startled him enough that she was able to bring her knee up and back and slam her heel right between his legs.

He yelled in pain as she snapped the arm that had the gun down across her knee, hearing the crack of his bone breaking and the clatter of the gun hitting the floor. She kicked it away as he fell hard onto his back and she crawled onto him, slamming her fist down into his face, over and over and over and over again until he put his non-injured arm up and begged her to stop.

Just then the door burst right off of its hinges, police officers racing inside.

"GET ON THE GROUND!" an LAPD officer barked, and in spite of the fact that he might not be talking to her, she crawled down onto her knees and put her hands behind her head. She didn't know who or what had brought the police here but she wasn't about to be shot for trying to explain right away when they were attempting to take control of the situation.

Once the yelling stopped and the police had clambered over to Brown who was still conscious but whimpering, an officer grabbed her by her arm and hoisted her up. "My name is Sarah Walker, private investigator. That man broke in while I was in a meeting with Mr. Brown and held a gun on us. He shot him. Tried to…tried to shoot me, too." She was breathless, and she realized that in spite of being in scenarios with guns, bombs, and other terrifying situations, this had been one of the closest shaves she'd had.

And she had a lot more to lose this time.

She had to press her lips together and blink a few times to keep the rush of terrified tears at bay.

"All right, miss. Just come over here and sit in this chair. Your name again…?"

"Sarah Walker," she murmured, trying to take deep breaths. "I own Walker Investigative Enterprises. I've-I've got a P.I. license."

The two officers exchanged flat looks. "A P.I., huh?"

This had been too traumatic for her to find the willpower to give them dirty looks for that.

"Get an ambulance here, we've got two men in need of medical attention," one of the cops said into their walky-talky. "One gunshot wound. Another with abrasions to the face, broken arm."

Sarah thought about how badly she wished she could've given him more abrasions to the face, and she thought maybe she was starting to feel more like herself now that the danger had abated. Though her ear was ringing bad from that gun going off so close to it.

"You're Sarah Walker, that's Jerald Brown…and who is this guy?" The cop gestured to Fake Cartwright.

Paramedics rushed in then, tending to Brown first and getting him lifted onto a gurney.

"A criminal," Sarah said. "If you look up Robert Cartwright, you'd find this man's picture. But he-he isn't Robert Cartwright."

"Huh?"

She explained the situation to them for the next three minutes, accepting the strong coffee one of them gave her, and the blanket the other one wrapped around her shoulders. She didn't know when she'd begun to shiver. And it wasn't from the cold.

As she realized she was just barely keeping from slipping into shock, suddenly there was a shuffling of people at the door and Detective John Casey was there, his hulking figure taking up the entire doorway practically. "Whatever she said about him, it's true," he said, pointing over her shoulder. "Cartwright's an imposter." He pulled his badge out as he walked into the room and flashed it at the officers. "I'll handle the questioning from here, officers."

They both nodded and moved away.

And that was when she looked up to see Chuck step out from behind the detective, his eyes finding her immediately.

"Sarah…"

"Chuck!"

She left the coffee and the blanket behind, surging to her feet just in time for his body to crash into hers, his arms so strong as they folded her up against him, so warm and safe and everything she'd needed the moment this had all ended.

Sarah felt her boyfriend's lips against her hair, and then her temple, and her cheek, and he just held her so tight. She didn't ever want to let go. Ever.

And she heard him curse, his hand coming up to brush over her hair. "Are you okay?" he asked finally. "Did he hurt you? I'll kill him."

"Maybe not the smartest thing to say in front of the LAPD, idiot," Casey grumbled from where he was standing over Chuck's shoulder.

She ignored him, though, burying her face in Chuck's neck and letting herself cry just a little. She'd been so scared she'd never see him again. So scared she'd never feel this. Or eat one of his waffles he made that were never thick enough or cooked as much as she wanted them to be because he didn't put enough batter in, and didn't leave it in the iron long enough. Because he was too impatient, like a little boy.

"I'm okay," she gasped out, trying to hold back still and not doing a great job of it. "I'm okay. I love you."

"I love you, too," he said immediately, holding her even tighter, pressing his lips against her temple and keeping them there.

She finally pulled back, letting him cup her face and kiss her properly, and then he kissed the remnants of the few tears she'd shed away. "What—How?" she asked.

"I…" He winced. "I was worried. Super, super worried. I had this weird feeling in my gut letting you drive off to this meeting with no cell phone or anything. So I…gah, I followed you. I know you—you probably…" He huffed at her impatient look. "You're right. Let's table that. I was waiting outside, 'cause I'm your man and I wanted to have your back in case things got cray. But then while I was waiting, I saw that fake-ass mother fucker walk up with his cheesy as hell B-List sunglasses and that shit-eating smirk, and I knew right away that you were in trouble." A smile began to grow on her face as she watched him start to get riled up now as he told his story. "I was going to run after him and strangle him or roundhouse kick him in the jaw or somethin' but then I figured I'd most likely get shot and you'd never forgive me if that happened. So I called 9-1-1 instead and got in my car to come find Cas—Casey—Detective Casey." He cleared his throat at the glare the older man sent him.

"You're insane," she breathed, swallowing another sob and throwing her arms around his neck, letting him lift her enough that her feet were dangling a few inches off the floor, and they stayed like that for long enough that Casey finally cleared his throat.

Chuck set her down and she resisted the urge to kiss him again, longing in her gaze as she peered up at him for a moment…And then she turned to John Casey and nodded.

"Yeah, well…S'a miracle we even got here when we did what with this moron driving like a fuckin' grandma."

"What?!" Chuck spun on his heels to face the LAPD detective. "That's not even true! I was going fast! Things were whizzing past my window!" He let go of her arm with one hand and mimicked swishing his hand back and forth past his head manically.

"Right. Sure. Walker, I'm gonna need you at the station. Your secretary here only gave me the highlights. He can't talk and drive at the same time." Casey turned and headed for the door.

"Are you serious right now?" Chuck asked, his pitch getting a bit higher. "Secretary? How many times do I—?" They both began to follow after him then, Sarah's fist twisted in Chuck's sleeve, pulling him along. "Oh. He's messing with me, isn't he?"

She heard the amused grunt from the cop as he pressed the button to call the elevator, and she saw the small smirk on his face. It made her feel so glad to be alive.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

It had only taken twenty minutes for Detective Casey to eject Chuck from the room where he'd taken them for questioning. She'd had to watch as he interrupted one final time—"Sarah, tell him about…"—then Casey's patience, which had been wearing thin already no doubt, snapped. He stood up, grabbed Chuck by his arm, and escorted him out of the room, shutting the door in his face.

She'd had to smirk inwardly at the cute, offended sounds of confusion that her boyfriend made until he was locked out on the other side of the door where he could no longer interrupt.

Casey'd finally sat down across from her again, and she'd told him every last detail she could, even letting him have the files she'd kept in her briefcase that she'd had during the meeting with Brown, in case he'd needed convincing.

"So what made you so sure of Jerald Brown that you ended up focusing most of your efforts on investigating your client, rather than investigating the guy he was paying you to investigate?" Casey asked, forty-five minutes into their meeting.

"Part of it was the fact that I spent three days tailing him, going through his background, his financial records, combing through his personal life, and I'd found absolutely nothing to make me think he was anything other than a good businessman, and a good man in general. Not that he was without faults, but none of it was illegal or reprehensible. No illicit affairs, no fraud, nothing untoward." She shrugged.

"And the other part?"

"Chuck insisted he was a commendable man."

Casey scoffed. "You took him at his word?"

"I always do," she said, holding her chin high. "He knows who is who in his own industry, and he's a commendable man himself."

"Don't get defensive, Walker."

"I did my homework. And on the other side, I had this guy who, for all intents and purposes, was very smooth, seemed to know just what to say to every question or comment I had during our meetings, and…this was the key…the more time I spent in these meetings with who I thought was Robert Cartwright, the more I got the feeling he wanted me to find something wrong."

Casey grunted, thunking a pen against his chin a few times, thoughtfully. Then he narrowed his eyes. "I get where you're going. Instead of wanting you to just check and make sure this potential future business associate was on the level, and being relieved when you kept coming back with confirmation that he was, Cartwright seemed like he was digging for some dirt on him instead."

"Exactly. It was sneaky. And it made me super suspicious."

"Hmng," Casey tossed the pen on the table and pushed his chair back. "Don't blame ya. That was pretty good work, Detective. Don't take this the wrong way," he started, which was always a stellar way for another person to start a statement, she thought wryly, "but I'm curious as to why ya didn't just take the money and let this lie."

Sarah crossed her arms and stood up from her chair, nibbling on her bottom lip. "I'm not that kind of P.I., Detective Casey. I want to make a living off of this P.I. business I'm building, but not at the expense of innocent people, and not to aid and abet criminals. I'm operating on the right side of the law."

"So no adultery cases, huh?" He grinned a bit lecherously and she glared at him.

"If someone comes in offering me the right amount of money to try to catch their partner with someone else, depending on the person and the case, I might accept. But what business is that of yours?"

"It ain't. Lighten up. Yeesh." He held his hands up defensively, one of the gestures that infuriated her the most when men did it at her.

"Is that all you need from me?"

"Yeah. But make sure to stick around for a week or so while we work on this case. We may need the FBI in on this if he's committed crimes like this before, and they'll be bringing the South African and Cape Town authorities in, I'm sure."

"I will," she said, getting up and walking towards the door. "Oh. Here." She came back and set all of the work she'd done down on his desk. "I'm sure you folks'll need this." He deserved the snarky smirk she sent him, and the look on his face told him he probably knew he deserved it, even if he wouldn't admit it out loud ever in a million years.

"Thanks. And uh…make sure you take care of that hand. Don't think I didn't see you trying to hide the scratches. Was that his face that gave you those?"

She looked down at the scratches on the back of her hand, and now on her knuckles from his face, just as Casey surmised. "Yes and no. His face, but also, he shot at the arm of the chair where I'd just been and the wood sort of exploded and caught me."

Casey winced. "You gonna be okay?"

"I'll be fine. Just a little home first aid is required. Nothing deep."

"Good." There was silence between them then as she nodded and went for the door. "Walker."

She stopped and looked at him over her shoulder, her hand on the doorknob. "Yeah?"

"We've got officers watchin' him now where he was admitted to the hospital, and when they've set that arm and gotten his face fixed up," she noticed a particular thread of pleasure in his smirk at that, "they're takin' him to his own cell here where I'll question him personally while we wait for FBI to send someone. That is to say…you did some damn fine work."

She smiled. "Thanks. Oh. Did Jerald Brown…?"

"He's gonna be fine. I'll email you where they took 'im if you want to visit tomorrow. He'll be kept at the hospital for a few days."

"Good. And yes. Please do. Thanks."

He nodded and she stepped out of the room, finding Chuck sitting a bit dejectedly in what she thought might be a perp chair at the end of someone's desk. Thankfully, whoever's desk it was seemed to be gone for the day.

She gestured for him to followed her with a flick of her head and a smile when he lifted his chin from his chest and met her eyes.

And she clung to him as best she could while still being able to walk to the elevator.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

She was quiet the whole ride back to her apartment, curled up in his passenger seat, having kicked her heels off and pulled her legs against her chest, her forehead leaning against the window as she gazed out on the late afternoon street.

And the sun had finally set, the sky still light out but darkening by the time he pulled into a parking spot in her apartment complex. They'd left her car in free street parking where she'd left it before her meeting with Brown a few hours earlier and they'd get it later, tomorrow most likely. She hadn't seemed as worried about it as she was about finally going home, so he'd promptly driven her from the police station to her place with no stops in between.

Now they sat in the comfortable warmth of his car, the engine off, silence permeating…

Until Sarah turned to look at him, smiling softly, and then she reached out and took his hand, not looking away for even a moment as she breathed a quiet, "Will you stay with me?"

He felt everything inside of him crumbling and never in his entire life had he ever wanted to protect anything or anyone as much as he wanted to protect Sarah Walker. Not trusting his voice, still shaken up from what had nearly happened, he nodded vigorously instead, and she smiled a bit harder.

They got out and headed up to her apartment, his arm around her shoulders the whole way, and he used his key to let them in, turning on the lights for her as she tossed her purse onto the entryway table and kicked off her heels again, shrugging her jacket off.

It was then that he saw her hand. There were bloody marks on the back of it, cuts on her wrist, and red welts with dried blood and most likely bruising underneath on her knuckles.

Nothing else mattered as he made a beeline for her and gently picked up her arm, cradling her hand and wrist in his comforting grip. "Sarah…"

"I know, I know…but it's fine. I've had worse."

"You've let this go for hours."

"I've had worse, Chuck. It's okay. I'll just ice it—"

He shook his head vehemently and pulled her through her apartment to the bathroom. "You have first aid?"

"You know where it is from where you burned yourself on the coffee pot."

"Oh…oh yeah. Um…remind me, though."

Seeing blood on her hand, her own blood, knowing she'd been hurt, knowing she could have been worse than hurt, was starting to catch up to him suddenly. And he was trying so hard not to let her see. He didn't want her thinking he was going to be a basket case about her chosen profession. That every little cut she got made him crazy and sick with worry. But this had felt like a big deal. A really big deal. And he had no idea what would've happened if the police hadn't shown up, if he hadn't called them.

"Hey," she breathed suddenly, and he cursed himself a little, knowing he'd let it all show on his face anyway. "Hey, look at me." She cupped his face and forced his gaze to hers. Her blue eyes reassured him immediately and he had to resist the urge to melt into her, hold onto her for dear life. "Chuck, are you spiraling because of this?" she asked, presenting her injured hand to him.

He nodded, putting his hands on her hips to keep himself steady.

Her good hand stroked his jaw and his eyelids fluttered. "Please don't. I'm okay."

"Help me maybe not spiral by telling me where that first aid kit is and I can clean you up a bit."

"It's right here, in the cupboard under this drawer." She shifted to bump her hip against the drawer she was talking about. "But…before you do that, would you mind if I took a shower?"

He shook his head and leaned in to kiss her on the forehead, a slow, long kiss. He understood the request at a deeper level, but he wouldn't say it out loud. She needed some time alone after everything. She'd almost been killed, watched Brown get shot right in front of her, and had cops swarming her, and finally the questioning at the station and being trapped in the car with him as he drove her home.

"Thank you. It-It'll be a quick one." She slid past him, dragging her fingertips over his abdomen as she went to the shower and turned on the water.

"Take your time, baby. I'll have a martini ready for you when you're done." On second thought, as she gingerly started to unbutton her blouse, he waited for her to realize he was still there and turn to meet his gaze before he said it again. "Take your time."

Understanding dawned on her features and her shoulders drooped a bit. He thought her chin might have quivered and he just turned on his heel and left before he was tempted to gather her up in his arms and hold her some more. She needed to be alone for a bit, though, so he went into her kitchen and started preparing a few martinis, two to start with, one for each of them. He didn't know how many of these she was going to need, but he'd make her as many as she asked for.

And he waited, enjoying the texts Ellie had sent him throughout all of this, the one about Clara pushing herself up to sit for a few seconds before falling again. The look she gave her mom like she didn't know if she should cry or not. It warmed him from the inside out. And he'd been so cold before. Unable to get rid of that terrifying sensation he'd had when he'd screeched to a halt next to the office building, seeing the police cars haphazardly parked, lights still blinking, the ambulance there, someone being wheeled into it…

He'd seen it was Brown, that he'd been shot, and he tried to tear into the building, only to have Casey and two other officers have to grab onto him and nearly take him down to the ground. When they got him to stop, Casey barked, "He's with me", and he yanked on Chuck's tie, pointing in his face with a "Slow down, kid".

That was all it took for him to gain control, afraid this detective might knock him out altogether if he didn't take a breath. And he let Casey take point, shaken to his core until the moment he stepped into the room and saw his very own detective sitting there, alive, no bullet holes in her like the man downstairs'd had.

He felt a chill go through him as he stood there peering out into the courtyard of Sarah's building, watching an older woman take down a few shirts she'd hung on a clothesline and toss them into a basket. Her tabby cat made a figure-8 around her legs in the meantime, finally following her inside as she hobbled up the steps and into the building.

Chuck let himself get lost in everything for a few minutes, going through all of the worst scenarios that thankfully hadn't happened. Sarah was alive and well, currently in the shower, washing off the remnants of her harrowing ordeal.

He'd heard everything that had happened to her in Mrs. Brown's office while she told the grumpy detective—before said grump kicked him out. He supposed he couldn't blame the guy for it, though, because he'd caught himself interrupting too often. No matter how many times he apologized, he never learned, and his punishment was sitting out by himself for the remainder of the conversation.

But Sarah had been shot at multiple times, and every time Not-Cartwright had purposely missed her, his intent being to scare her. That made Chuck Bartowski angry. There was an extra level of pathology to lord your power over someone in that way, terrifying them before you kill them, making them suffer… It made him feel so disgusted, and then he thought Sarah must have come into contact with psychopaths like this guy before in her line of work.

She was an incredible bad ass, the coolest, strongest person he'd ever met. And he was sure no matter how often she'd come face to face with these crazy assholes, it didn't make being shot at any easier to handle, especially when it was so cruelly done to terrorize her. By the shakiness in her voice when she'd told them about him shooting her chair and then at her feet, and finally at the desk next to her hip, before sinking a bullet into Mr. Brown, the man she'd been attempting to protect, Chuck could tell it had gotten to her. Genuinely.

Maybe he shouldn't announce it in front of the LAPD, but deep inside, Chuck wasn't sure he'd be able to hold himself back from murdering that guy if he'd had a crack at him when he first got into that room and saw Sarah there, her face so pale, the blanket around her shoulders, the bun she'd had in her hair when he'd seen her last half pulled out… He'd discovered later that the man had grabbed her by her hair and yanked her up to her feet by it.

Chuck thought he'd like to do the same to him, but instead he'd pull his spine right out with one hard yank. Mortal Kombat style.

"Thought I'd bring the first aid kit with me because I already know you'll refuse to take no for an answer."

He spun on his heel, letting the curtain fall back into place and cover the window to see Sarah had wandered in, her step light like a cat's so that he hadn't heard her come in. Granted he might've also been a bit distracted.

But then she set the first aid kit on the table and frowned deeply. "What's wrong?"

"Huh? Wrong?"

"You turned around and looked like a rabidly angry gorilla or something for a second."

He just shook his head and sniffed in amusement. "It's nothing."

"Chuck…"

"I was thinking about what he did to you, and maybe imagining myself doing one of the Mortal Kombat fatality moves on him. That's all." He stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged, slowly wandering over.

She widened her eyes. "I don't know what those moves entail but you said the word fatality, so that sounds a little serious, buddy."

At least that shower had made it so she seemed a little more like herself. Less shaken, more settled. The almost-unnoticeable shiver she'd had before was gone.

"It is. I have to be honest with you, Sarah. Part of me is angry with myself that I didn't just follow him and body tackle him into the ground then and there."

Her eyes flashed, concern and even a bit of frustration in her face. And then she put her hand on his chest, her fingers curling against his shirt as she shook her head. "Chuck, don't say that. Please never do something like that. He had a gun. He would've killed you."

He clenched his jaw and looked away.

"I-I'm not trying to make it seem like you're weak or incapable, baby. I'm really not. Just—Listen to me. I'm trained in combat, I have extensive training and years of experience using guns. I had a gun with me, as well as the knives I always have strapped to me. Hey, look at me. Please." She put her good hand on the side of his face and pulled his eyes back to hers. "I was nearly powerless in there. He had me, Chuck. If he hadn't slipped, let his guard down for that one second…" Her voice drifted off. "My point is that someone trained, like me, could have easily died doing whatever it is you might've done in that moment instead of what you ended up doing." She stroked her hand through his curls. "Which was the right thing."

"I know." He gently slid his hand around her waist and pulled her a little closer. "It just felt…terrible. Watching him go in there, knowing you were about to have him burst in on you. And knowing now what he ended up doing, that you were hurt and Brown was shot. What if I could've stopped all of it?"

"What if you couldn't have but you tried anyway and ended up being shot yourself?" Her eyes searched his. He couldn't come up with an answer to that. "What would I do, then? What would I even do if you were shot, Chuck? I can't even begin to think…" She let out a harsh breath, shaking her head. And he held her tighter.

"I ran away from you. I left you behind."

"You saved my life," she said in a much steadier voice, her features hard, willing him to understand. "What you ended up doing wasn't just the right thing, Chuck, it was incredibly brave."

He winced a little. "It didn't feel very brave."

"You could've let your worry for me, your fear, overtake you and you could've run after him, tried to stop him, and ended up getting all of us killed…but instead you called the police, knowing that they'd have more of a chance of stopping him than you ever would. And you went to get Casey involved, which…" She paused. "Why did you get Casey?" She blinked, her brow furrowed as though the question had just struck her at that moment.

Chuck swallowed thickly. "I was afraid they'd believe the wrong person unless you had someone they trusted vouching for you. And I knew Casey would be the perfect person to be there for that."

She beamed at him so suddenly that his heart felt like an insane amount of weight had been taken off of it. And then she hugged him tightly, and he hugged her back similarly. "You're brave and brilliant, Chuck Bartowski."

He felt so much pride in that moment, hearing how proud she was of him, how grateful she was, how impressed she was, in her voice, feeling it in the way she squeezed him, kissed his cheek.

"And you're a bad ass and the best, Sarah Walker. So I guess we make a good pair. Maybe I can be your assistant."

"No," she giggled, kissing his cheek again and then pulling back. "I will let you take care of me, though."

"Oh, gladly," he said with as much warmth as he was capable of, and then he gently pushed her to sit in the chair at the table and went to grab a bowl, putting some warm water and soap in it, then wandering back with that and a cloth in hand.

He scooted close to her and let her drape her hand over the bowl as he silently cleaned the cuts that didn't look so bad now that she'd showered. She only winced a little at the cuts on her wrist when he was gently rubbing ointment over them, and then he wrapped a light bandage around all of it.

"I look like the bride of Frankenstein's monster," she said with a giggle once he finished.

"She wishes," Chuck answered, watching as Sarah turned her arm a bit to look at his work. "What?" he asked when she gave him a quiet, searching look.

"You did a pretty good job here, actually."

That made him smile. "Listen, I grew up with a big sister who's wanted to be a doctor ever since she found out what a doctor was. Do you know how often I got wrapped up in bandages through all the years I spent under the same roof as her?"

She laughed. "Was it often?"

"Often enough." He chuckled. "She got better at it when she was actually in med school and I guess I picked up some things, little tricks of the trade. Don't ask me to stitch a wound shut, though, because I will faint."

Sarah snorted. "That's cute."

"Is it?" he drawled dubiously. He got up then and straightened his back, feeling a few pops, then put the bowl away, the bandages and the first aid kit, and when he came back out, Sarah had finished her martini.

She held the glass up towards him and pouted a little.

"Another?" he asked, receiving a smile in return. He chuckled and took her glass, leaning down to kiss her forehead, then went back to the kitchen to make her another. "Hey, you want a flavor in it this time? Maybe some lime? I saw a lime in your fridge."

Sarah was standing next to him suddenly—those cat-like silent feet of hers—and he nearly jumped. "Sorry. Didn't mean to sneak." He shrugged at her wince. "You just…You've never put flavors in a martini for me before. It's always just been a traditional, perfectly dry martini. What's gotten into my Chuck?"

"If you want me to make it like I always do, I can." He shrugged again. She was looking at him steadily, that look of hers that saw right through him. And he sighed. "It has nothing to do with the martini, but-but I guess today sort of put into perspective for me that you're not…"

"What?"

"Immortal. Indestructible." His throat was dry then and he looked away, swallowing.

"Did you…think I was? Like some kind of comic book character?"

"No. Of course not." He sniffed in amusement. "But what you do is dangerous and it's something I'm going to have to come to terms with. I hadn't before this because I guess I…haven't had to yet. But I have to now."

"Chuck, I'm okay."

"I know you are. So am I. We're okay. And that's not something that's gonna change, no matter how many ManFatales try to take you away from me."

Sarah smirked at that and gave him a side-eye. "No fucking way anybody is taking me away from you. And vice versa," she added, pointing at him a bit threateningly.

"I didn't just mean romantically." He chuckled. "I meant…uh…you know."

"Oh." She sobered significantly. "That, too. And yeah…maybe this time we can try some lime in the martini. I have some pineapple slices, too. Maybe some of the juice…?"

"Splendid idea," he said, giving her a warm smile. And they stood side by side as he prepared more martinis for them to enjoy.

They eventually found their way to Sarah's bed, stretching themselves out over it and leaning back against her headboard. She'd since fallen asleep, her harrowing ordeal earlier on in the day knocking her out soon after she curled herself up on his chest.

He just held onto her, looking down into her face. She looked younger when she was asleep, so at peace, without any worries to speak of. But then his eyes latched onto her wrapped hand and wrist that was slung over his chest and he frowned.

She was a private investigator. And as awesome as it was, as hot as it was that he was dating someone so damn cool, he couldn't let himself forget how serious it was, too. How serious it could be. He'd never want her to give up what she wanted to do, who she wanted to be, so that he had better peace of mind when she went to work, the way the boyfriend of an accountant might. His girlfriend wasn't going to stop being a private investigator, whether he was awful enough to want her to or not.

And so…Chuck Bartowski was determined instead to support her. To be here on the hard days like today. To protect her when she needed him to. To bandage her cuts, hold her, make her martinis, and let her fall asleep in his arms.

Because being with Sarah Walker, P.I. was so much better than being with some accountant who sat in an office all day. The worry, the nerves, the adrenaline, and even the fear, were all worth it because she was worth anything and everything.

This was her, he realized, looking down into her face.

These cases with genuinely bad dudes wanting to do her harm because she was good at her job, because she was working to take them down, were all part of what made her…her. The danger, the chase, the high stakes…that was all part of her.

He loved her.

That included everything that made her who she was. That included this. And those moments of fear, the danger…

No matter what this career of hers brought them, this wouldn't ever change. He was ready for the bumps and bruises he'd get in the meantime himself. He was ready for the hurdles and hardships ahead. He thought he was ready for just about anything.

Because this was their life now.

And he wouldn't trade it for the whole universe.

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sarinataylor · 6 years ago

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Joger ask: how would they cope with Roger having a crisis about the fact that John has written hit singles including their biggest ever hit and he has yet to pop his a-aide cherry? Is he rubbish? Is he really just a pretty face? He knows he brings lots of musical input & the sonic volcano & ‘the girl for everything’ for the band but really, who is he kidding? And John can’t deny that he aced his degree or does the finances or wrote hits... Thankfully Radio Gaga comes along and all ends well...

hmmmm ok. this got? long. very ramble-y. apologies

so like. roger is so fucking proud of john y’know???? and it’s not john’s songs being more successful than his which is cutting deep (because, well, commercial success is somewhat ehh to roger now that they’ve already made it big. the music he’s writing and creating, off on the side, is more about the music than anything else), it’s that he didn’t see it coming

100% did not see aobtd being a hit. hated recording it with his drums taped up, and thought the whole thing was a waste of time which.... it obviously wasn’t because john’s latest royalty cheque was big enough to have even freddie blinking in surprise

and. well. roger’s kind of always been the one with his finger on the pulse, so to speak. roger was riding the early waves of punk before the sex pistols had so much as looked at a safety pin and thought, “hmm, i wonder”. and his ability to keep up with, stay just one step ahead, of the trends has been invaluable in the past and now.... he might be slipping behind?

because even though he fucking hated half of the lines in ymbf he... he knew it was going to be a hit in the US. that sort of soft poppy feel, with a funky little bassline? the american’s eat that shit up in spades. of course it was going to be popular.

but, yeah, he didn’t see aobtd being a hit and now he’s starting to wonder if maybe the reason he isn’t writing hits isn’t because he hasn’t been trying to appeal to the broader audience, hasn’t been trying to write songs that will get massive air time or be played in clubs, but because he’s got no fucking clue about what people want anymore

‘girl for everything.......... except knowing what people want’ doesn’t, uh, sound as good

and it’s not? it’s not a Big Deal, not really. he just gets a little quieter about voicing his opinions on tracks because, well, maybe he doesn’t actually know what the fuck he’s talking about?

and so, hot space

brian’s losing his gd mind arguing with everyone and everything because he feels backed into a corner, freddie isn’t playing the peacekeeping role he usually does, john is being Just a Little Bit of an egotistic shit, and roger is........... not getting involved. which works kind of awfully because both brian and john take his silence as tacit approval of their position, which boils over into a lot of misunderstandings about just what it is roger thinks about what’s going on in the studio

(and mostly what roger thinks about what’s going on in the studio is that this album is going to be a Fucking Disaster because instead of ripping apart one anothers songs and building them back up stronger all they’re doing is ripping into one another and calling it creative differences)

and he tosses up a couple of songs and lets them do what they will with them (and oh my god if you haven’t listened to action this day performed live???? do urself a favour and do it oh my god i fucking hated that song until i listened to it live) because well. they probably know better than he does at the moment, because he doesn’t quite trust himself. and tensions are high enough that inserting himself into the cockfight when he isn’t actually Sure about his opinions just seems an unnecessary risk.

and. uh. hot space...................................................... does as it does

and john is pretty mortified about the whole thing because.... ???? all of that work and fighting and it’s flopping which is. made all the more worse by brian’s oh too casual sympathetic comments during the press junket, and then even worse by the way that roger. doesn’t seem surprised?? because. well. even when it was a love song written about roger roger was honest about what he didn’t like about it, but now there’s a whole fucking album that john pushed really hard for and roger a) didn’t like it and b) didn’t tell him

he thought they respected one another more than that. he thought they were more secure than that.

which sort of........ simmers uncomfortably between them as they gear up for the tour and sort of. explodes when roger starts making suggestions for changes to some of the songs for the live performances that. annoyingly sound much better and why didn’t you bring this up when we were recording the fucking album, roger (look aight atd sounds SO MUCH BETTER LIVE, IT’S BEEN MONTHS AND IM STILL SHOOK)

and roger’s sort pussyfooting around it because oh well... you know you and freddie really wanted to this one as a sort of concept album..... and brian and i didn’t want to interfere...... (brian: very much did want to interfere) ............ so ya know................ it’s not really my style so i didn’t wanna stick my foot where it doesn’t belong.........

and john’s like???? its music what the fuck are you Talking About? you know music you know what sounds good and what doesnt and it’s not like you’ve ever been shy about voicing your opinions before, so forgive me if im a bit confused about the sudden reticence

regardless, it’s Not a Big Deal. no really. roger will insist this til the day he dies

and things calm down? they take a break and, as they are wont to do, the tensions of the band slowly start slipping from john and roger’s day to day lives? like, when they’re not living in close quarters and feeding off of the energies that brian and freddie and mack and everyone else is putting out. it’s just them, yeah?

but anyway, roger’s still been writing music and ha enough for a new solo album so he’s like. yeah. think imma do that and john’s a bit taken aback because? fuck, you’ve been busy then you said you didn’t have much of anything for hot space??? and roger’s like. uh, yup. been busy. busy bee, me. ya know. while ur out painting the shed i gotta keep myself occupied somehow

except. well. john’s obviously lending a hand with bass and mixing, and brian’s in and out too, so’s freddie and. it’s freddie, actually, who picks up that roger had been working on the beat of I Cry for You (Love, Hope and Confusion) back in the studio when they’d been working on hot space which. doesn’t make sense, because he definitely hadn’t shown them it to them which is odd, because roger usually shows them everything he writes in case they want it for queen?

and then brian chimes in because, actually, he recognises the lyrics for killing time?

and john is like what the FUCK is going on because this is just? weird?

so john ends up lowkey cornering him at home in a totally not cool sneaky fashion (read: he gives him a fucking mindblowing orgasm and then is like [head propped on roger’s chest] SO) because???? ofc he supports rog’s solo career but also? why didn’t he share what he was writing with him? what’s going on? music’s always been a language they’ve shared, even if they tended towards different dialects, and now it... well it doesn’t feel very good that roger seems to be inching him out of something that john knows is so very important to him

and roger’s like huh no idea what you��re talking bout. been really busy writing recently. shame though, means i might not have much for the next queen album

and john’s like? do you want to leave queen, if that what this is about?

and roger’s horrified because what the fuck no i’m just not sure i’ll have much to contribute is all which has john like?? because. it’s roger of course he’s got something to contribute what the fuck are you talking about

but roger’s like oh well ya know nothing im really writing at the moment is much of our current style so. that’s cool, though. that’s fine

but john is confused bc well. hot space was a bit of a failure so they’re probably headed back to more consistent waters so that’s not a problem, and hey, maybe if roger had injected a bit more of his style into the album things might have been better right?

ANYWAY basically john’s like yo my man like. if u dont wanna write any material for the new album that’s? fine ig? but we kinda Need You to be a little bitch about the things u dont like because.... things work better when ur being a nitpicky little bitch than when ur being silently supportive of me :) though that was sweet

and rogers like oh i was 100% not being supportive of either u or brian’s bullshit tbh i just. disco isn’t my forte ya know i didn’t wanna chat shit ab smth i know nothing about like, god, imagine if you’d listened to me about aobtd?????????

which. john’s like. i? i mean, i did. fuck sake, the whole thing got rewritten to be about our dog (steve) bc u made a joke about it? i. i did listen to u about aobtd

and john has honestly NO IDEA what any of this is about? because roger has an awful tendency to sit on things until they’re Much Bigger than what they were to begin with. like, john’s actually not great at that? he’s not very good at hiding that he’s angry or upset, not for the long term. roger’s a lot better at it in the worst kind of way, because unless you pick up on it right at the beginning by the time you’ve figured out something’s wrong it’s months down the track and so many micro interactions or events have been tacked onto the Original Problem that it’s a sprawling mess of “i dont want to communicate that im feeling vulnerable about something so instead im gonna try and turn my vulnerabilities into armour” - like deciding to turn all of your writing, not just the stuff that won’t fit on your main project’s albums, into solo material because your solo stuff doesn’t have to be successful

but also, ok fine.

and so he sort of? lets it go? because tbh once roger latches onto something, when u havent go in there early enough? your best bet is to just wait for him to.... get over it. which he generally does. he doesnt have the patience for decade long grudge matches, not really.

and then it all comes to a head when brian writes and shows them all machines (or: back to humans) which obvs came about from an idea of roger’s and. well. freddie thinks its amazing, john is nodding along even as he sends him small little side eyes and well. fuck it, right?

and so the next week he comes in and slams down the first rough draft of radio gaga, the music heavily influenced by I Cry for You (Love, Hope and Confusion) which freddie had been complaining about being used up on a solo album

and then he goes home and tops the hell out of john, the end.

#lo talks #joger hc's #headcanon asks #Anonymous

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californiadreaminghq · 5 years ago

Photo

SPOTLIGHT

NAME: Rosalie Kang; “Amethyst” FACE CLAIM: Im Jinah AGE: 26 TITLE: The Fame OCCUPATION: Lead Singer of The Gemstones

INTERVIEW

𝐁𝐔𝐁𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐌, 𝐁𝐔𝐁𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐌, 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐘 𝐏𝐎𝐏! 𝐀𝐍 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑, 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐊𝐀𝐍𝐆

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚜 𝚓𝚘𝚋𝚜, 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚞𝚗𝚒𝚚𝚞𝚎!

The Gemstones aren’t strangers to having their day in the sun. Known for their sweeter-than-sugar pop attitudes, but notorious for their ever-changing roster, and for those that remember, their abrupt rebranding from rock to pop, one of the lone constants remains their lead vocalist, Amethyst, or Rosalie, as she would introduce herself as. It’s almost inconceivable that she was the former front-liner of rock band, Bitch Frenzy, as she sits, legs crossed primly, in the media room of Fusetone with her shimmery little dress and her picture perfect smile; it’s hard to see her as anything but the All-American gemstone sweetheart she is now, and I’m sure that’s the way Fusetone and the band prefer it.

But following that train of thought makes me curious about whether or not she has any lingering regrets, so I ask, “If you could do anything in the world for a living, what would it be?”

“Anything in the world?” She answers, looking genuinely pensive for a moment before it fades. “Well, it would still be this, wouldn’t it? What more could I ask for? The girls in the Gemstones are my family,” she continues, brows furrowing for a moment, a minute drop of her smile, like a wisp of cloud just passing by clear skies. “Being able to work with all of them and share our music with the world is already the best way to make a living. I wouldn’t change anything. Why? Not a fan of our work?” She teases.

“No, not at all,” I backtrack quickly, and truthfully, I am a fan, both pre- and post-rebranding. “But it must get tiring, so I imagine you would like to go on vacation. So, if you could travel anywhere, where would you go?”

“I think I should like to go to New York City,” she muses. “I’ve been a city girl all my life. Put me anywhere other than a city and I don’t think I’d know left from right. Going abroad is probably too big a wish right now, isn’t it?” She asks, looking wistful. “A girl can certainly dream.”

“I’m sure you could go abroad somewhere,” I prompt, trying for an encouraging smile, thinking it may brighten her mood.

Instead, she purses her lips in a nervous frown. “No,” she says with a surprising amount of conviction, shaking her head. “Better stay where I’m safe and sound. Stay home, where it’s familiar, comfortable... Bit of a homebody, me,” she jokes weakly, as if suddenly aware of the heavy tone of her words.

“Okay,” I relent. “What is one thing that makes you different than anyone else?”

“Is it presumptuous to say my voice? I think every singer wants to say their voice makes them different from everyone else.” She grins. “I had my rock days, and now I get to sing pop songs, so I feel like being able to dabble in both genres is pretty unique. Other than that,” she trails off, thinking hard but looking the most relaxed she’s been this whole interview. “Oh,” she exclaims after a beat. “I’m a great whistler; a lot of people say I’m just like a little songbird.”

BACKSTAGE

Here is the retelling of Little Red Riding Hood that is devoid of lies:

The Wolf comes into Little Red’s life wearing a suit and tie, and she ushers him indoors, and he says, “My, my, what big eyes you have. My, my, what a pretty face you have.”

And she says, “Why thank you sir, but what of my hair? What of my lips? What of my body? Are they good enough to eat?”

The Wolf answers, “Well, yes, they are! But...”

“But what?” asks she.

“But there’s something not quite right,” he says, sitting himself in the living room and thinking quite hard.

“What if I do this?” she asks, changing this way and that. “Or this? Or this?”

“Ah, that’s just right,” he says, and gobbles her right up.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rosalie is born and raised in the heart of Los Angeles, and is altogether dissimilar and exactly the same as some of her peers from small podunk towns who come to LA to try and become somebody. Her mother was a singer in her prime, and Rose reads an old interview with her mother. It goes like this:

INTERVIEWER: You have a daughter now; what do you hope she inherits from you? Well, surely your voice. What sort of wishes do you have for her since it’s her birthday today?

JUHYUN: I hope she doesn’t get my voice.

INTERVIEWER: Why?

JUHYUN: Otherwise she might want to be a singer too one day.

She is dissimilar from her peers in this aspect: she never once experiences the disillusionment after the industry shows its true colors — she is exactly the same in this: she still lets herself get swallowed up.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Despite her mother’s hopes, she does inherit musicality from her, but it sees little more exposure than daily performances by the dinner table, stirring renditions of An Itsy Bitsy Spider. She lives a sheltered if not restricted life for the first portion of her childhood, fiercely sheltered from all aspects of fame. It doesn’t bother her; she hadn’t developed an appetite for it then, content with simply basking in her parents’ love. That changes, though, when her mother passes away on her 19th birthday, and the paparazzi follow her and her father all the way to the memorial. There are more waiting when they arrive, and her father tries to shield her from them as best he can, wrapping an arm around her and lifting his jacket with the other, but the flashes still ingrain themselves on the backs of her eyelids, nauseatingly bright.

It keeps going: the shouting, the flashing, the lens jutting into her space, and like a melancholy ocean churning out tempestuous waves, her sadness crashes into anger. She springs out of her father’s embrace before he can think to hold her back, and shoves a camera out of her face. The paparazzo advances, and she shoves him too, shattering the camera, yelling some incoherent half sentence, tears flowing, unbidden though they are. Her father comes to his senses and yells at them to back away before redoubling his efforts to see them safely in. By the time the service is over and she leaves the church, the photos are already developed and spreading.

And suddenly it feels as if the world knows who she is.

And she can’t get enough.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

She starts Bitch Frenzy soon after, and part of her is in it for the music, because that’s all she has left of her mother, but part of her, deny it though she might, is in it for the fame. For the glitz, and the glamour, and for the taste of her name as it slips off people’s tongues.

Bitch Frenzy is a hit — well, it’s a hit in the sense that people don’t ignore them and don’t hate them, a hit in the sense that they attract the attention of Fusetone. It’s the beginning of the end the moment suited executives come out to see them and to sign them, wolf fangs hiding behind their greasy grins, assuring them that if you sign, the world will know you. She certainly doesn’t know it then, but she certainly can’t say that if she were allowed to do it all over again, knowing what she knows now, she wouldn’t sign on that little dotted line.

She pushes the group into signing, wheedling that this is what they’ve been playing shitty venues for: a platform in which they get to spread their music farther than they could ever dream of reaching by themselves, and one by one, the members agree.

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First, it’s small things like makeup and hair, and her members grin and bear it. Then it’s things like dresses and public appearances, and then, and then, and then. It’s a slow overtake of everything that made Bitch Frenzy, well, bitch frenzy, and one day, she wakes up and they’re The Gemstones, and she’s got a little shimmery dress on, surrounded by faces she doesn’t know, and Pearl and Amber are paying life and limb for breaking their contract. Little sacrifices that she’s slowly acclimated to making, hoops she’s all too eager to jump through.

And for what?

Why, for the fame of it all, of course.

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There are restrictions on where she goes and who she goes with and how big she smiles and what she says and what she wears, bars and bars and bars on a gilded cage. And yet, she knows, as long as she never strays, people will come to coo over her, to love her, to adore her.

The guilt will be temporary, will die with her, she reasons; the silver screen her image will live on in is forever.

The flashes go off when she leaves her house, and she takes a deep breath and smiles for the cameras.

#rosalie kang #the fame

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ambitionsource · 5 years ago

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S1 Rewatch: Lena’s Take [1.05]

better late than never, i say!

favourite scene: i think it might be the fight scene— or really, ANY scene revolving around lucas and isadora’s friendship— i love the terrible chaos of the fight scene and the way it shows both the absolute extremes lucas will go to for the people he cares about (especially isa), and the way he goes way too far way too easily in regards to his aggression. it also gave us softer moments of farkle and maya— both trying to stop the gossip in their own ways, and dylan and asher rushing in to help lucas at all costs, not thinking about the BLOODBATH they’re entering. it’s a very human scene for all of our characters and they respond in basic, instinctive ways that are very telling to how they deal with conflict— whether it’s impersonal or very personal. also, reading about wyatt getting the shit beat out of him is really satisfying, especially knowing things about him now from later in the season.

favourite performance: not to have my inner charlie stan jump out like it always does anytime he gets a second of screen time but like, dirty little secret, obviously. OBVIOUSLY, we’ve met me, people, you get it. aside from my love for pop punk left over from all the way back in seventh grade, this is really charlie’s struggle and storyline wrapped up into a classic all american rejects song and we all know charlie and his storyline are maybe (read: definitely) my favourite part of this show. charlie’s trying to grasp onto his secret, but at the same time, he’s pushing it SO far away. he knows what it is, but at the same time he doesn’t, not really. he refuses to comprehend it and DEFINITELY refuses to project it in any way at all. he’s a closeted kid so terrified of opening the doors and stepping out, that he’s not even sure if he’s in a closet at all, or if he just got lost in another room. at least, that’s what he’s trying to convince himself. ALSO may i say i imagine this number to have a sort of quick slow-mo shot of zay, discreet but non discreet, and then charlie forcibly spinning around to look ANYWHERE else— maybe at riley, albeit unenthusiastically. he dances with a number of girls, but pulls away relatively soon with each— nothing feels right.

favourite character this ep: isadora, probably, or charlie (wbk). we watch isadora struggle to deal with the fallout of her biggest secret being exposed, and we see a lot more of her character and elaborated on and revealed this episode. it’s good to actually dive into her autism in a respectful and real way, and it’s really good to see her still stand defiant at the end of the episode, with the “fuck off” to aaa confessions and really, the school. isa consistently and inevitably rises above the drama in a way that not a lot of other aaa students do, and it’s always refreshing to watch her be a POWERFUL ICON.

favourite line: “unclench, yogles, and scram.” thank you maya, that was beautiful.

an underrated moment: maya trying to calm isa down and take care of her is just. WONDERFUL. we’ve seen a bit of softness and kindness from maya thus far, but basically only to her own mother, probably because maya knows aaa is a bloodthirsty shark tank and she needs to always be baring her teeth in order to be able to claw her way to the top. but isa needs help, and maya provides it the best she can, letting her guard down and being gentle, genuinely caring for isa. it’s a nice character moment for maya that provides a but more insight— she’s not just a mean diva, she knows perfectly well how to be kind and soft to those she can be vulnerable around, and to those who need her.

something i missed the first time around: dave implying that aaa confessions’ posts suggest “an opposing narrative”, aka that aaa confessions’ posts imply that charlie is not straight. i knew that the post about him and zay being close from 1.03 freaked him out, but i never really realized they were actually IMPLYING he wasn’t straight— you know, the thing he’s most afraid of people finding out about it? and to me it makes what he does in this series to avoid zay and u know what to aaa confessions make even more sense. like i already knew why he did it but now i understand his desperation.

first impression vs your reread impression: i just realized how short this episode is.... or at least seems.... and as always, was able to enjoy it even more, knowing where these plot threads pick up and lead to.. (valerie and isa’s building mother daughter relationship, zc, lucas’s anger at the end of the season) and the drama turns up to an eleven, really raising the emotional bar from where it was before. we’re getting into it, and it is INTENSE. too late to back out now. enjoyed it tons as always!

lena i LOVE reading your rewatch thoughts. truly!!!!!! the way you talk about charlie.... no i’m not crying............ i swear im not i swear im fine,,,,,, and you always highlight some great moments that im glad are being appreciated. i ADORE your thoughts on dirty little secret and the way you visualize it, like yes yes yes -- builds well on what i threw out there as what i would’ve added to the description of it -- and just.... your appreciation for him shines, which makes ME emotional bc he deserves it. and the way you described everyone’s reactions during the fight scene as instinctive and human... ugh i love that. and completely 100% agree. could go dissertation on this.... might have to... mayhaps... but ugh love love love

yeah, it is one of the shortest eps in the season (which is weird, as i dissected in my rewatch), but i guess we should enjoy it bc by the time we get into the second half they just keep growing longer and longer fDJSKGLSG. i really cannot emphasize enough how much i love you participating and what it means to the team :’) <3 thank you!!!

#charlie: h #me: the power that has the intelligence that has the clearance that has the access that has the influence that has the profile that has....#the international implications that has #submission #i concur ma'am #S1 reread #S2 countdown #1x05

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kilesplaysthings · 6 years ago

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IkeSen Custom MC/OC Meme

(just so you know, i’m pulling this straight outta thin air lol it’s late and i’m brainstorming as i fill this out XD)

Hello there, time-traveler / feudal heroine / warlord! What’s your name?

Oh hey there! My name is Ana Hill (I’ve been told I need to work on my Japanese letters - and I probably should be writing this in Japanese too - but hey, what Ieyasu doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right?!)

Age? Height?

21! Uh, I guess about 5′3 or so?

What’s your fashion like? [Time travelers – pre & post-wormhole!]

Well, before I pulled a Marty McFly back into the Sengoku, my style was..um..nothing? I dunno, a simple t-shirt and jeans did the job for me. And Converse. Man..I miss my Converse.. Well, at my job I had to wear a nice pantsuit as well. Not too big on skirts, but I liked wearing dresses now and then. Heels were ok, but only for formal occasions. Now that I’m here in the good ol’ 1500s, I like to rock the kimono, if you know what I mean. Though I’ve been seriously considering swiping one of Mitsunari’s..or Ieyasu’s Hakama sometimes (they seem closer to my size, I think). Those look very comfortable!

Where are you from?

Glouchester, Massachusetts (USA)

Feudal era – pros and/ or cons?

Ooh boy, here we go. Pros: It’s quieter here, plus the scenery is beautiful, like the different castles and shrines I’ve seen, not to mention all the nature!! Oh, and no pollution, either!! I get to be up close and personal with a lot of wildlife too, like horses! I’ve learned how to ride one too! Which is something I’ve always wanted to learn! Since I’ve been set up as a Princess I’ve been treated pretty well and everyone is very kind and helpful. And there’s a lot of lovely kimono I’ve been allowed to try on. Cons: Language barrier is worse in this time period. I could get by with speaking Japanese back in the modern day, but here, it’s different.. and I’m completely lost when it comes to reading their alphabet! I had no idea the letters changed over time! Also, they don’t call it the Sengoku era for nothing! It’s one thing to see it in the movies, it’s another thing to hear about and see the real thing. There are some things I don’t think I’ll ever un-see.. As for more lighthearted matters, I do miss wifi, not gonna lie.. and air conditioning... what I wouldn’t give for air conditioning again.....(and tampons but ANYWAYS)

If you’re not in your homeland/time, do you want to go home?

I do miss my grandparents, but also my time was also the time where I had to watch my mom die... so... a little bit of yes and a little bit of no...

What’s your home life like?

I lived with my grandparents, whose parents actually immigrated from Portugal. My dad was of some other nationality, like German or Dutch, I think. He skipped out on us when I was a kid. My mom died in my teens. You know, being able to actually speak a little Portuguese helps with the warlords? At least, with Nobunaga and Hideyoshi. Didn’t realize there were Portuguese merchants that visited Japan back then. The more you know, I guess!

You just got your dream job! What is it? / Or, what’s your line of work?

My line of work WAS being an English teacher in Kyoto. There was a cool exchange program in school that allowed us to go to Japan and I loved it. After that I learned that you could get a job that allowed you to teach English over there. I loved Japan, and I wanted to be a teacher. The rest is history. heh...

Any other hobbies or skills? Do you use them / how do you use them in the Sengoku period?

I’m a big movie buff. American film, French film, Japanese film, Korean film.. name it, I’ll watch it. It’s just a hobby of mine. Nothing very useful for the Sengoku period, though. Watching Kurosawa films does NOT make one a Sengoku scholar, I found. Though it is fun seeing all those warlords baffled at my lame 80s references.

Where is your base of operations? Azuchi Castle? Kasugayama Castle? A pirate ship? Running all over the woods or in a secret monastery? Some other cool place?

Azuchi. Nobunaga and Masamune were names I recognized. And Nobunaga can speak some Portuguese, so I went along with him. Good choice? Bad choice? We’ll see...

How do you feel about killing and violence?

It’s the Sengoku period. It’s just what goes on here. That doesn’t mean I like it, and that it doesn’t scare me half to death, but I just kinda...live with it? I couldn’t kill a person myself, though. Unless maybe in self-defense.

Have you learned to fight? If so, what’s your weapon and/or fighting style of choice?

Fighting kind of scares me. I did agree to learn how to shoot a bow. And Masamune gave me a dagger to protect myself.

What are you fighting for?

To survive? Being a Princess of Azuchi isn’t always safe, I’ve found. Especially when its Lord decides to drag me into battle even though he knows I don’t know a thing about fighting??!!

What are your feelings about authority?

Hey man, I don’t like dictators, but I come from a different time period. I can’t just assume that people are gonna understand or agree with the morals that I’m used to. If someone is pointing a sword or a pistol in my face, I’m not gonna act stupid and be disrespectful, you know? There’s a time and a place for things.

How do you handle someone invading your personal space?

If it’s someone I know and am close with, I don’t mind it at all! But if they’re a stranger, I get uncomfortable.

…do you invade people’s personal space?

I wouldn’t say so, unless, again, if you’re someone I am close with.

Are you more open, or more reserved? Are you secretive?

I tend to be more on the open side. I can keep a secret, though, if need be (though it depends on if I think its something that should be kept secret).

Is this the first time you’ve been truly in love?

With a real person that I actually know? Yes...

What’s your style as a lover? (interpret this as innocently or not-innocently as you please ;) )

I can be a bit of a cuddler. Again, if I know you, I like to be close. Kissing is..yes. I like it.. I also like to play with hair and have mine played with. Honestly, just snuggling close to someone and talking about anything and everything is a perfect way to spend an afternoon for me. I’m not too complicated. I grew up in a small house where we shared everything. I’m used to simple things and am easy to please.

What are your favorite ways for someone to show you love?

Simple, everyday things please me. A nice comment, a random hug or kiss, a sweet gesture; just something that shows they were thinking of me... I grew up being taught that family is very important, so knowing that I am wanted and that I can be a part of someone else’s family would be a wonderful thing.

Do you use a petname or endearments for your lover(s)?

Hmmmm...maybe? When I was little, my grandfather once said my grandmother was fofo, which means cute or soft. Maybe I’d call him that...

How do you feel about…

Nobunaga? Weird. A mix of scary, funny, childish, and admirable all rolled up into that...admittedly attractive...mountain of a man. Good conversationalist too. It’s extremely entertaining telling him all of the stories from movies and books back at home.

Hideyoshi? Scary at first, but super sweet once he got used to me. Very helpful and considerate. I’m slowly but surely winding him down and helping him chill out about Nobunaga sneaking out to get candy (because I want some of my own, darn it!!!)

Masamune? Also Scary. But man can he cook! Also he has a PET TIGER. One of these days, im stealing Shogetsu and keeping him for myself!

Ieyasu? Porcupine. Also a good teacher, but super strict! Gave me a real appreciation for herbal medicines.

Mitsunari? He’s SO CUTE? Literally, the cutest person I’ve ever seen?? Good study buddy, too. He’s helping me learn the language better and I’m teaching him English!

Mitsuhide? Scary. But cool. But scary. But funny. I can’t tell you how many times he’s made fun of the way I’ve stared at him since we’ve met.

Shingen? Hot. Too hot. Dangerous. gotta keep your eye on that one. May or may not have imagined him in a suit.

Kenshin? He’s got..two different colored eyes? Like a cat? Intimidating as all get-out. All he thinks about is war. Needs a hobby like stamp collecting. I want to touch his fluffy haori.

Yukimura? Reminds me of a guy I knew in school. Kind of a jock, but not the kind that has a way with the ladies. Lovable but awkward. That kind of guy. He’s funny when he’s with Sasuke though. Hilarious to tease too. He called me an enchantress one time and I tried to sing that one song from Hocus Pocus to him. Didn’t go well.

Sasuke? Bestest pal ever. Would 100% time travel with him again. We have so many inside jokes we could write a book. (omg we should do that.. gotta remind myself to tell him that next time I see him!!) It’s a shame he lives so far away.

Kennyo? A warrior monk who wants to kill but also loves animals? Doesn’t compute. If only I could get him to a therapist...

Motonari? I’m gonna teach him the “Pirates Life for Me” song one of these days...that is, if he doesn’t try to kill me or kidnap me or something first...

Any other friends/notables?

I did have some friends when I was teaching English, yes. I also got along with my students pretty well too. Mostly, it’s my grandparents I worry about while I’m stuck here...

Freestyle! Tell us anything else you’d like to share!

I have a massive sweet tooth like big man Nobunaga here. Hideyoshi has accused me of encouraging his addiction.. it’s true, sadly. Portuguese merchants are my best friends and I’ve haggled them enough that I get some of their delicacies for lower prices. I’m becoming Nobunaga’s best friend because of this, I think. My name might as well be Lucky Charm. Shingen may or may not have recruited me to his sweet dumpling team though. Those are super good...

*goes to think about all the sweets she misses*

Thanks for introducing yourself! ♡

(you rock, @nyktoon-ikemenlove !)

#well i did it #its silly but i did it #ikesen really would be one big comedy if i wrote it haha #also i learned some things about portugal because of this so yay!#ikesen #ikesen oc #ikemen sengoku #ikemen sengoku oc meme

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