#and im excited to actually put it to use HAHAHAHA

[osarina]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the person whose vibe LITERALLY. encapsulates what hozier writes songs ABOUT <3 (IN THE BEST WAY) !! & DAZAI’S GIRL OFCC; miss carina i hope you’ve had the MOST fantastic day already & this year ‘n on treats you SO SO WELL 🫂🖤 truly u’ve shaken the bsd fandom on here w ur writing & in general such a wonderful person, ENJOY EVERYTHING TONS, fyodor & i showed up w/ the presents to spoil u 🙂‍↕️ (he is forced to pay back what he owed both u & dazai) & i’m giving you another pair of pearl earrings BCZ LOL WE R literally twinning rn i only wear those too !!

if it’s not too much pls do give a little synopsis/scenario excerpt to the BIRTHDAY COMM bcz i am still in awe glancing at it HAHAHAHA

finally, the next time i’ll pop in your inbox i’ll b there to finally express completing waterloo !! srry i am so behind on the bandwagon but it’s only bcz i have put off completing the actual BSD BEAST 😞 i paused halfway thru so i wouldn’t b spoiled, i shall get the courage to do both tho JDJSJ for u; you will get an entire essay no doubt

& GOODLUCK IN UNI SOON TOO !! i start for the first time as well rly soon so i’m hoping this year treats us well & perhaps a lanky brunette man comes along (forces himself into our life) in need of saving on a stormy day ;) LOVE YOU RINA HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN !! ᰔ

REV I'M SIMPLY GOING TO CRY YOU'RE THE SWEETEST EVER, YOU LITERALLY HAVE ME SMILING SO BIG AND MY CHEST FEELS ALL WARM AND FUZZY I LOVE U SM <3333

im giggling imagining fyodor and dazai side-eyeing each other while we sit together chatting, we would both have to keep them in line so they don't start acting up. AND OMGGGG YOU'RE ALSO A PEARL GIRLIE??? i got my first pair from my grandma and ive been obsessed with them since jdfasuhfasfhu i love pearl jewelry

HAHAHAHAHH THE BDAY COMM IM STILL GIGGLING OVER IT - so its set in my pm au actually ihfsuihfauhduf the one ive been writing for a while on here (wykyk) except that i hc that its like a non-canon one where oda didn't die and dazai never left the pm. so dazai & i were pining for like literally 3 years since we were sixteen and then not long before my 19th bday, we finally officially got together. and chuuya was SOOOO sick of it like he's been dealing with both of our dumbasses for 3 years refusing to get together but still blatantly pining for each other. so when we finally got together, he's like UGH finally, but then he realizes that it's worse because we're even MORE insufferable now that we're together. so the comm is set during my 19th bday we're going out for the night and dazai is being dazai and chuuya is SOOOO sick of it but this is the one night he can't say anything so he's just forced to sit there and deal with it LOLLLLL

OMGGGGGG I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU TO FINISH BEAST AND UU!!!!! i dont blame you for putting it off HAHAHHH the end is so heartwrenching like literally whenever i feel like i need a good cry, i go back to reread beast HAHAHH

AHHHHHH OMG YOU'RE STARTING YOUR FIRST YEAR OF UNI??? THAT'S SO EXCITING!!!! good luck sweet rev, i know you're going to kill it!! if you ever need advice or to just vent about uni, my inbox is always open, i get it 100% - uni can be so stressful but at the same time it's so nice. im dreading my classes starting up again but ive missed everyone there so it will be nice to see them again

THANK YOU AGAIN LOVELY <333 I ADORE YOU

[honestreviewsblog]

Dreaming of a Freaking Fairytale - A Fan's Journey (with spoilers!)

Ep 1-2

OH MY GOD THIS IS HILARIOUS. It's givinggg 2011-2013 Kdramas in the best way possible. Very well casted I might say, I've watched Pyo Yejin before and I've always loved her in every role I've watched her in so I already expected she was gonna nail this one too but it's my first time watching Lee Jun-young and omggg I LOVE him hahahahaha. He's so gorgeous, and the role fits him so well. Their chemistry is off the charts and it was going so well for the past 2 episodes that I was actually wondering, 'Wait, if they both like each other now, what about the rest of the episodes?' then BAM insert obligatory Kdrama fiancé. Which is hella cliché but the drama IS all about clichés so really it's just living up to it's expectations.

There's a thin line between cringe in a good way and cringe in a bad way and so far, this drama is in the good-o-meter lololol. We'll see tho in the next few episodes and dammit I'm excited. I do love my melo dramas and action packed thriller dramas but really I'm just a girl, I also crave cute, hilarious, weird sht every so often.

Ep 3-4

Can I address their names?? Hahahahaha. Cos Prince Cha min is hilarious and you kinda get it from the get go (Prince Charming = Prince Cha min) but Cinderella is a bit too Korean-ized that you don't get it until you've watched 3 episodes lololol (Just a theory this might be a stretch but Koreans put -nim as a suffix for jobs, titles, or relationship to show respect, ex. harabeonim (grandpa but probably not your own grandpa because adding -nim means that you're not that close), gisanim ("gisa"/driver is the root word, adding -nim is a polite way of saying it and mostly used when you speak directly to the person). So my theory is Cinderella 》 Cinder-nim 》 Cinder-im 》 Shin Jae rim.

Anyway back to the episodes, I looove that line about the reason why Jae rim wanted to marry rich because giiiirl I probably won't do it but I totally get it lolololol. Her ambition was revealed tho and it does not look good esp among the rich. It must've felt soo humiliating, and I can feel her pride slowly ebbing away. The ending WAS a total cliché but I loooove it, can't wait for more lol.

Also, can I just say Cha min's business is sooooo fun. It's exactly the type of business that we think about in our daydreams and when asked the question, "What would you do if you have a lot of money". Cos I'm totally going to build myself a playground for adults to have fun in, adults need it more than kids anyway.

Really happy for Jae rim and her painting, she's sooo good, I also wished she continued her passion, but I have high hopes for the next few episodes.

Ep 5-6

OH MY GOD THEY KISSED AAAAAAAAA. And I gotta say it was marvelous hahahhahaha—not the regular cutesy cutesy kissing scenes we normally see in cutesy cutesy Kdramas. Really just from the kissing scene alone I gotta give ep 5 a standing ovation lololol.

I totally expected Jae rim's visit in Do hong's studio to go horribly wrong but it's nice to be wrong for once hahahaha. We got to see his "weakness" and don't we just love to discover those? Makes the characters more human. Dan-a and Jae rim's face off tho 👀 Our girl totally held her ground with the line, "I had fun too. He's a very good kisser" YOOOOOOOOOO Imma tell you the way I gasped?? I was so gagged???

And the scene AFTER that, the way she bursted out her frustrations on Cha min and him not knowing what to do or what to say or how to make things right because in his point of view, he never meant to be cruel, everything he did was just self-preservation.

Ep 7-8

Hello??? I was so invested on that kiss and you're telling me it was a dreamscape?? Call the authorities, straight to JAIL. But on a more serious note, I love how her doubts and her fears of not being enough was easily eliminated by Cha min, and her voice over about being comforted by this was sooo heartwarming, the butterflies in my stomach won't stop churning!!

The ending was emotional but I gotta say, probably bcs we didn't get to have that many teary eye scenes so far, the scene with Cha min's mom just felt a bit I dunno, I didn't cry that's for sure. But I guess we weren't meant to cry, we were meant to feel for him and comfort him.

Ep 9-10

/sigh/ I think I just got diabetes. It was so sweeeet. Have I said Jun young is so gorgeous? Cos he's so gorgeous. I gotta tell you about 90% of the reason why I'm watching it is bcs I just gotta see him smile hahahahahahha. Happy ending all around, really cliché so I can see why some people might not like it. But I loooovee clichés, it calms my anxiety and it's sure to be a happy ending, what's not to love?

The thing about this drama tho, is it's very self-aware and doesn't take itself too seriously and I think that's part of the reason why it's so charming (pun intended). 10/10 cutesy ending I got what I came in for and I'm happy about that, satisfied customer here! Hahahahahaha

[valhalla-awaitsfor-us]

barbie wasnt a cinematic masterpiece idk if I'd watch it again but it was a fun experience! tbh i think dressing up with my friends was more memorable than the movie itself

Im actually more excited to dress up! hahahaha

I never liked barbie that much. Not bc i was like "Ugh, femininity" But bc ever since i was a kid i never liked the expectation would put on woman. I've never been good with clothes or make up and girls used to bully me bc of that (Boys too. School wasn't a great time for me hahaha) So yeah, I wasn't a Barbie girl. But my problem was/is with the brand, not with the movie. I ADORE GRETA, and I have faith on her and on the film. I just wanna lower my expectations so i can enjoy it.

[rosyandraw]

Nena! I have too much to say I'm actually embarrassed to send you this long ask. I hope you don't mind..... 🥺

Well first Hihi your berry anon here 🫐🍒

How've you been doing? How's life treating you?

I honestly got super excited and happy the other day when I saw your post on my fyp so I sent that all over the place and I didn't even ask how you were.... So rude of me. 🫣

Now going into a deep discussion about nmfy... I need to tell you that I missed your writing you are so talented it always blows my mind. So it was a treat reading your fic again.

This chapter fuuuck you made me feel every single emotion Laurent had ... His love and his anger felt so real 😭 and August... Well I'm going to be 100% honest usually I don't care too much about characters that our narrator doesn't care much about (damen) even more if they are never there. Yet I really like your August, I liked him even more because fics often write him like a perfect person and to me he doesn't feel real. I get that to Lauren, who was a kid with a 10 years older brother, August was/is perfect but reading him like that doesn't feel real. So kudos to your August to be real, to have flaws, feeling beside loving Laurent etc.

About him and Damen..... I'm always with whoever tells the story so in this case Laurent and I'm with him I would also feel jealous as fuck and like I'm the second option. And I keep imagining what would happen if both needed Damen at the same time who would he choose what would happen. 🧐🧐🧐

I think Damen's reaction to laurent and Bastian was so good and in character for a Scorpio. Those assholes I love them and I hate them (my dad and my two best friends are 🦂♏)

I read your answer about him being an Scorpio and I agree completely but something funny to me is that if I didn't headcanon Vere/Akielos as Europe and they were from my side of the world Damen would be a Taurus and Laurent an Scorpio and that make sense to me too. Haha I hc them like you but I think it is funny that they still work the other way around.

Also I don't know how you feel about this but...... August is definitely an Aries... Hear me out he's a natural leader, a good fighter (the best Laurent has seen) willing to die for what he believes/loves. Impulsive with a chaotic maybe even obsessed personality while also makes him lose interest very fast. Aries and Scorpio (damen) are an amazing good/bad relationship because both are very intense. I think an Aries would def kill someone like August did very messy and passionately impulsive irrational and they would 100% call their Scorpio best friend a more dark strategist who won't panic because they are capable of killing too. But he would also be great at planning how to get rid of the evidence. They (we haha im an Aries too) are also kinda selfish which I feel August is like he thinks Damen hates him for mixing him in his secrets yet he keeps calling. But I'm suree you have you hc for him so please tell me everything even if you think he is a idk a cancer soo please tell me everything.

And to finish this crazy thing I saw what you did with Ancel and Berenguer and I loved it and I need moree. ... Pleaseeee I'm begging you 🙏🏼🙏🏼 just lil spoiler just a lil moment of them interacting 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Ps. I still remember all the kinky shit we used to talk for Damen and Laurent so for now Im gonna sit and enjoy the angst but please know that I'll come back with the evidence if we eventually don't get some of it for them hahahaha jkjk fk as you please with your fic you are such an amazing writer that I trust you.

Kisses kisses, thank you for sharing this update. Have a lovely weekend. 💕💜💕💜💕

B🫐

Omg I absolutely do not mind, this is the BEST. It’s so unbelievable that you care enough so please don’t apologise! 💕

I’m good thank you lovely, life has been good! New job, engaged, all that fun stuff haha. How’s life for you?

Gonna put the rest under a cut because teeny spoiler near the end and also so people don't have to scroll haha.

Noooo, you’re never rude my dear!!

Aww I’m so glad you love Auguste, I wanted to do something a bit different with him and I LOVE him personally, he feels very personal to me. I love flawed characters, all of my characters are a mess because people are messy you know?

Haha I know what you mean! I think Laurent’s insecurity is pretty huge. I think if Auguste and Laurent called at the same time Auguste would have to wait haha tbh. Damen would either call someone to go get Auguste or he’d go get Laurent and then they’d go get Auguste.

Damen is… well let’s just say we haven’t necessarily had Damen’s full reaction just yet. Or Laurent’s for that matter. Whoops!

Omg my dad is a scorpio too and so is my stepmother haha

Oooo that’s fun! They do work the other way around for sure. And don’t I love Auguste Aries! I didn’t’ go as in depth for Auguste’s tbh, the only real placement I put down for him was Scorpio Moon, not just as a counterpoint to Damen but because Scorpio is a pretty volatile moon sign imo. But Aries sun I absolutely vibe with 100%, everything you said is perfect and works well with Damen’s character too.

Haha I do have another little glimpse of Berenger/Ancel in the next part, idk if Berenger will ever make an actual appearance in this fic, but you will get a little more about what’s going on with him and Ancel! I promise!!

OMGGG stay tuned because I accidentally wrote something kinky and it wasn’t meant to be there but they just started talking and before I knew it I’d written a 2k kinky scene so. Erm. that is that!!! I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on it when I eventually edit the crap out of it and post haha

(Also Ancel/Berenger is a side pairing in my next fic too, it’s like 15k one shot but they are there and I thought of you when I wrote them in haha)

Thank you my lovely, I always love to hear from you 💕💕

[1d1195]

I LOVE going to target! truly a happy place for me lol I remember when I was a kid I loved going there because my parents would buy us popcorn lol

I fear that if I was a writer I would torture my characters bahha it would be so painfully slow burn it would hurt lol And Sam, you could literally make every story be a "love at first sight" story and I WOULD STILL GOBBLE IT ALL UP! I read your stories because you do have your own creative voice and I just love the way write! Like Im here for the way you make your characters yearn and the way you describe them all together is so good! Plus I mention this often but what really drew me in was that i SEE myself in your MC's! And you're such a sweet person, so why would I not like you and your blog?!

Anyways! YES I USED THE GOVERMENT NAME HAHAH that cliffhanger bestie I should have known it was would be a Sam story without one lol

I actually do love when writers add their take on what 'Harry' as their character the types of quirks he would have! and I kinda just love reading a grumpy/intimidating guy get all flustered over a pretty girl 🤭 Like I LOVE THE INNER THOUGHTS OF A WHIPPED MAN!

Reading that part did trigger something in me but not in a bad way if that makes sense. I once again saw ME in her and it just made me sad how much I wanted to comfort her yet I couldn't even be nice to myself when I've felt like that. BUT you always know how to properly approach topics like this without it feeling like it was thrown in there for "drama"! You did put in waring in there so that is MORE than enough and like i said you do these delicate storylines justice. Trust me, even if I did feel uncomfortable(which i did not), I do have the decision to not read it or skip it so it's not your fault!

Im VERY excited for the next part but when am I not excited!?!

This week has not been my week so there's that! I am blaming the aftermath of the eclipse HAHHA Hope you are treating yourself my love! You deserve it!-💜

That's such a sweet memory hahaha target popcorn

Thank you for all your sweet compliments as always! I love my love at first sight. I think it's partly because I'm already in love with Harry so it's like OBVIOUSLY i would fall in love with him immediately. Right now they're still burning in part 3 I might squeak out part 4 with them burning too but I might cave early 🤭 hopefully it's not too much of a spoiler.

It makes me happy AND sad that you see so much of yourself in my MCs. I think they're often an extension of myself and I know how I feel/write about myself in these MC versions of myself so it does make me sad you may feel the same way as me sometimes. But it makes me happy that you feel seen and that you and I have twin flame vibes 💕

Really a special thanks for the way I approach sensitive topics 😭 it does make me so nervous so just getting feedback that I handled it well is comforting and doesn't make me want to delete all evidence of my writing because of it. I think sometimes when I do delicate storylines there are obviously people who don't like it (I'm lowkey dreading my Love and Dryer Sheets update but I might cram everything in that I have for them into one check-in and be done with them) I don't think a lot of people have the same mentality as you that they have a choice not to read it nor comment on it. I'm so glad you think I'm sweet (I believe I actually am and I hope that doesn't sound conceited) but I think it kinda helps when I write stories like this. I never mean to be rude or unkind--I just want to have realness to my stories and unfortunately men are often trashy in these kinds of story lines.

That's not even going to be the worst cliff hanger in this series

INNER THOUGHTS OF A WHIPPED MAN. COMING YOUR WAY MA'AM 😍 I think this will be one of my more original Harry's hahaha. We'll see :)

I LOVE TO BLAME THE MOON AND STARS ON MY BAD WEEKS anything to not blame myself hahahaha I hope the end of the week gets better though! 💕

xoxo

[neteluvr-library]

okay im back again for my weekly reread of cardigan. anyways these next three chapters are so good and literally so fucking amazing and will never get over how good they are the dialogue is amazing and one of my favorite details EVER and i have been waiting for this moment for the last week weeks and im finally here AHHHHHHH i am excited to actually go through and leave my little notes hehehehe (not me playing around with the annotation formatting tumble is so annoying about indenting that i CANT)

It all got too much, and you lunged your body forwards and threw up on the ground next to your tent. You were panting, trying to somehow get a grasp on your mind and push the hurt aside, enough so you can see and hear the world around you.

THE VISCERAL REACTION!!!!! "I pictured you with other girls in love Then threw up on the street" 😭 100% valid reaction I would do the same thing.

FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF STAGE III: DEPRESSION

ITS GETTING GOODDDD 😭

There was a calmness to your thoughts that you haven’t felt in years, probably since your mother died.

BABY THATS THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM !!!!!!

...but if there is any chance I can have the love of my life by my side, instead, I will cling on to it for dear life.

Neteyam annoyed me so bad during this like bro omg maybe you should have said all this BEFOREEEEE it was too late 😭 men have the worst timing HE HAD PLENTY OF OPPORTUNITY DAMN IT

You were staring at the sky, noticing the bright stars you now knew were actually bright death sentences, each of them beautiful and devastating.

NO BC like...i took astronomy class in college and was proud to get this reference hahaah like it really is sad that stars are so beautiful and bring us so much comfort, yet their time is limited. i think its a perfect reflection of what atan believes her life to be

There was no going back now, you were too far down the rabbit hole to stop and why put yourself through more unnecessary pain when this will all be over in a few days anyway?

SHES DOWN BAD YOUR HONOR!!! at this point atan is just so done with life, both physically and mentally, that it literally does not matter anymore. you can tell she's given up on hope completely and is a shell of a person right now

“What the hell do you mean out? Out where? You leave without telling, you don’t come back the whole night, do you have a fucking death wish?”

MAN JAKE BETTER STFU!!!!!!! like don't piss me off . i get his concern but he better watch his tone with atan. POOR BBY IS SUFFERING AND NEEDS LOVE AND INSTEAD, ALL SHE GETS IS BETRAYAL!!!!

You made me love you and break down these carefully constructed walls so you can be comfortable and sleep well at night for not breaking your promise my mum, and then you fucking stabbed me in the back.

THATS RIGHT ATAN GET HIS ASS 😭 no but what does jake expect? that's a huge fucking betrayal and she has every right to feel as angry and hurt. like she spent the last few years guarded and to herself, and the one time atan decides to push that to the side, she is betrayed by everyone. like i get that it was neteyam's responsibility and even jake threatened him before and told neteyam he needed to to tell atan, it doesn't sit right with me that they all had her looking stupid especially when they all know just how much of a bond they had together. the second atan got her new body, both neytiri and jake should have had a serious conversation with neteyam 😭

But I want to make this perfectly clear. As far as I am concerned, you and I, we are done. I am done.” You looked at every Sully one last time, and left.

Tuk standing and wondering what the fuck did she do wrong HAHAHAHA

For the man that died on a planet far away from home, alone, with no one to mourn him.

):

Was that going to be you? Would Neteyam remember you in 20 years, when he would tell stories about his childhood to his kids, when he remembered the good old times? Would you get a Na’vi send off? Or were you going to be buried somewhere in the forest, for someone to stumble upon in a distant future you would no longer be a part of?

FIRST OFF OUCH!!!!!!! atan thinking that she is so forgettable that she even has to question whether of no neteyal would remember her. i 100% think he would without a doubt, atan would be like a mythical legand to his kids (you know, if she actually died). but also it's very sad that she has to question whether she will end up like her father because life has been so cruel to her. like woah how did her life even get to this point where there's a possibility she could relive her dad's fate despite having lived completely different lives?

“Why am I here? Great Mother, please tell me there is more to this life, there is more to life than this, because I cannot do this anymore. I am so tired. I have tried to keep going my whole life, even when I wanted nothing more than to cease to exist, blissfully collapse in an ether where I didn’t have to feel anything anymore. I kept going because I wanted to make my mum proud, I wanted to honour the body and life she has given me. I am trying so hard, but I am really fucking tired.”

THIS WHOLE LITTLE SPEECH 😭 i think everyone has thought this to themselves at one point if their lives, perhaps even their lowest point of life, because like yeah what is her purpose?? what was she meant to do? it can be so harrowing trying to figure out your purpose in life when all life wants to do is be mean to you. this was just so relatable and i love it ): I think Atan is probably the most relatable to mean than out of your other female characters ahahaha

You sat on the bed, looking at the arm that was getting blue at the amount of needle holes it had, and you knew then you didn’t have much time left.

RAW AS FUCK!!!! (literally her arm is probably raw af) but i think this was an important detail for us to visualize just how far atan is from being okay and any semblance of normal. i mentioned this another chapter, but i really do love the inclusion of atan's dependence on drugs to keep her going because its the most poignant way to showcase someone's depression and despair.

You gave it a fair shot, this life thing

AGAIN, SHES ONLY A BABY ): SHES ONLY 18!!!!!! i think at 18 i felt like i knew everything, but looking back, its still so young and its so sad because at 18 you still have so much to live for and atan just felt like she didn't ):

You peered up at yourself in the mirror and were scared at the eyes watching you, rabid and wild, like an injured animal waiting to lash out.

I always loved this line!!!! because like a wild animal, atan is just defending herself from everyone around her and her inevitable death. she's no longer herself.

“Did you know I have needed pills to sleep and to live a normal day-to-day life since I was 13?

ATAN RELEASE BACK TO BACK BOMBS ON NORM ON THIS SCENE it must have felt so good for her to get all of this off her. SHES TELLING EVERYONE OFF, because what else does she have to live for? might as well burn the bridges and die with everything being said, no matter how mean or nasty it may be.

Neteyam will not be happy until there was nothing left of you, until he took everything from you.

For some reason, this reminded me of these lyrics from You're Losing Me:

How long could we be a sad song 'Til we were too far gone to bring back to life? I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier

You could fill endless manuscripts with the beauty of his love, that shone so brightly over you your whole life. He was the light in all the darkness and you honestly didn’t think you would have survived this journey without him.

This was so beautiful ): their relationship is so interesting because there's such a dichotomy between them. like both of them have both painful and loving memories with each other but its like how could that be at the same time??? like i said with neteyam before, i think they both love so hard that it becomes painful which has unfortunately lead to them the mess they're in right now

“I remember. I remember even at the time, thinking this was a good metaphor for our relationship. Life kept sweeping me off my feet, but you were always there to catch me, before it could take me away. I had so much faith in you back then, you were a fact of life, like the eclipse. You were the one person in this world I thought would never hurt me.”

SCREAMING CRYING SOBBING VOMITTING I CANJNT neteyam being her rock ):

Fighting with him was ironically one of your favourite things, because you knew the aftermath was the closest you ever felt to being in heaven.

let's unpack that babygirl

“I thought that if I left, you would be ok. I just wanted to protect you. My whole life, all I have wanted was for you to be ok. But it seems no matter what I do, I keep fucking up.”

DONT PISS ME OFF NETEYAM!!!! i truly think men are very stupid and at their core....just men.n even the most dreamiest of men, like neteyam, are men. i just cant get behind his reasoning even when he explains himself with so much emotion. because like THATS the best he could come up with? like how is he both selfish and selfless at the same time? it just feels like he's so centered on himself that even in his valiant efforts, he wasn't truly thinking about atan and how this might affect her. like who are you to decide that for atan, she is capable of making her own decisions and choosing who she wants in her life. i have beef with him now LMFAO maybe you can give me some clarity

just you and me

hehehehheheheh

Like no time had passed at all. I knew then I was going to love you for the rest of my life, and that will never change. That was my fact of life, my eclipse.”

.....but you still left her.

You left me. You broke me. And you never gave me a chance to make my own decisions. To figure out for myself what was the path forward. I have NEVER blamed you for my misfortunes.

EXACTLY!!!!! i just cant wrap my head around neteyam's reasoning. i wish i had more words to describe how i feel about it but i cant actually verbalize it into a sentence.

The sight of you made whatever happiness or hope he had left dissolve and trickle down his bones, until it reached the ground where it was eventually buried, never to be seen again.

you are so poetic like i will never get over it

To know that this is what was hiding underneath, this is what you hid from all of them, made him both impossibly miserable and strikingly enraged at the same time.

Cause they see right through me They see right through me They see right through Can you see right through me?

no bc this life was so relatable to me and i felt so called out and i still feel called out because i truly feel like this sometimes. and its like atan was just so good at hiding her hurt and it makes me so sad to realize that no one know just how much she was hurting ): i know she wanted it that way but to have all of that on display for someone else to see is, again, another way to showcase just how far gone she is from her "normal" self

All you do is numb yourself down, pretend you are fine and the issues you have suffered through do not exist. Well guess fucking what, Atan? They exist. And until you deal with that pain and let it pass over you and through you, you will always take the easy way out

Neteyam gagged her omg...

What, was I supposed to find you dead one day and that was it? That was what I deserved from you, after all the blood, sweat and tears I gave you?

NO LITERALLY WHAT WAS ATAN THINKING like as much as i think neteyam is bad for leaving her, atan is even worse for not telling everyone she was dying. like it would be so traumatizing just to die and leave everything and everybody unresolved because atan was too afraid to speak the truth.

OKAY I STARTED THIS AT LIKE 6:30 AND ITS CURRENTLY 8:11 DAMN!!!!!!!!! to be fair i was going back and fourth between my phone and this and im gonna draft it until i finish the other two chapters but no way im gonna finish it all tonight especially for the next chapter LOL

Illicit Affairs | Chapter VIII: My Tears Ricochet

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter IX Chapter X

Synopsis: All secrets are revealed and both you and Neteyam have to live with the consequences of your actions.

Warnings: pure angst, mentions of death, mental illness, addiction, self-injury, limited mentions of Y/N, did i mention angst, angst and more angst?

Word Count: 10,3k words (the first couple chapters were 3k, how did we get here??!)

A/N: This chapter killed me a little inside. I cried multiple times writing it, so I guess fair warning. I wanted really badly to build strong, round characters who had flaws and strengths and strong reasoning for acting a certain way/doing certain things. I wanted to write this story from both character's perspective, so it is clear that in life, each person will think they are right, that their reasoning was the correct one, when in reality, we are all a little right and a little wrong in everything we do, and it is always worth trying to see things from the other's perspective. We are coming towards the end of this first series, so I hope you enjoy this chapter and the rest of this journey. As always, thank you so much for everyone who engaged with it, I loved reading ALL of your comments and replies, they really make my day.

(Also, I feel like I am playing my own little game of "how many Taylor Swift and OG Avatar lyrics/quotes/references I can reasonably fit in a story without it being obnoxious" and I can't tell if I'm winning or not.)

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet

You registered the girl asking you if you were alright, but you couldn’t see in front of you, the entire room spinning like the inside of a mirrorball. You felt your body rise from where it was sat next to Neteyam’s, and shakily made your way out. Neteyam’s mate. Neteyam’s mate was next to you, asking you if you need help. It all got too much, and you lunged your body forwards and threw up on the ground next to your tent. You were panting, trying to somehow get a grasp on your mind and push the hurt aside, enough so you can see and hear the world around you.

“I’m fine. Thank you.” you manage to blurt out weakly.

You heard more commotion, and faintly made out Jake’s voice and his arm on your shoulder, trying to bring you back to them.

“Neteyam, what the hell happened?”

You didn’t hear Neteyam speak. He was quiet and you were glad. You didn’t want to hear his voice, not now, and not for the rest of your life.

The world came back to focus eventually, and you spit aggressively trying to get rid of the taste of acid in your mouth. You removed Jake’s hand from your back, and left. The thought of speaking or even looking at any of them was too much to bear. You ran, harder than you ever had before, back to where you just came from, the Ikran nest in the village. You immediately recognised your own, beautiful, gold and white, pure, unlike the rest of this world. Neyn (light colours, shades of white)… fitting name, you thought. You made the tsaheylu quickly, and without a second thought, took off.

FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF STAGE III: DEPRESSION

You had no thoughts as you flew above the forest and made your way towards the general direction of the Hallelujah mountains. You realised you didn’t know where you were going, you didn’t know how you were going to find your way back, but it didn’t matter. Were you even going to ever return? There were no tears, no sadness, just emptiness. The pieces of your heart broke so finely they turned into dust, blown away in the wind of the night. Eventually you found the mountains, easy enough to spot, even in the darkness, the fluorescent flora marking the territory with an easy-to-see glow. You flew like this, for enough time that your lungs were running out of breath and your skin felt battered by the wind, but you kept going. You felt so free, so weightless. There was a calmness to your thoughts that you haven’t felt in years, probably since your mother died.

You saw a distant mountain that looked brighter than the others, and you made your way to it and were amazed to find a little cave in it, bright and colourful, a little piece of heaven on a planet that was heaven in and of itself. Neyn landed softly on the edge of the mountain and you dismounted effortlessly and approached her head, giving her pets on her neck, to which she cooed gently. She was the only friend you had, you realise. You were all alone.

“Neteyam, what happened?”

Neteyam was dragged in the tent by his dad, who was fuming. No matter what feelings his dad was feeling, they couldn’t compare to Neteyam’s anguish and terror. Why the hell was she there? She just had to wait another couple of hours and this would have never happened.

“She was patching my wound up when Tiongli came in the tent, announcing to the world she is my mate. Said mother told her about my injury.”

“Don’t you dare blame this on your mother, boy.” the Sully patriarch’s nose was flared, eyes looking at him intensely with anger and disappointment. Neteyam’s eyes filled with tears, and he felt his heart hurting so much like the gash was there instead of his arm.

“I was going to tell her tonight, dad. After dinner. I was going to tell her everything, and I was going to ask her to be my mate. I was going to come to you both and ask you to undo the engagement. I understand that a year and a half ago I gave up on her, I did it for a reason, I thought there was no future for us, and that we were hurting each other. But things have changed. She has changed. She’s going to be one of the people soon and I want her to be mine.”

“Neteyam, you can’t undo the engagement. You have known Tiongli your whole life, her family’s been expecting this since you were both young. You gave your word before Eywa, son.”

“I love her, dad. Do you understand that? I have loved her all of my life. It killed me having to leave, it killed me knowing there was no future, because she was human. But she’s not just human anymore. I was willing to go through with this for the sake of the village, for the sake of the family and the future, but if there is any chance I can have the love of my life by my side, instead, I will cling on to it for dear life. Mother was betrothed to uncle Tsu’tey, and she gave that up for you. It was done before Eywa, and she didn’t care. Because she loved you and she knew that was enough. She gave up being Tsahik, her birth right, so she can have you. I will not give up on her, dad. Mother wouldn’t have given up on you.”

“I have to find her. I have to make this right.”

You were sprawled on your back, feeling goosebumps form along your limbs from the cold grass. You were staring at the sky, noticing the bright stars you now knew were actually bright death sentences, each of them beautiful and devastating. Will you even still be alive when they come? Will everything you have gone through these few months matter? Will everything you have gone through in this life matter? All the pain, and the hurt, and the grief, just so you can die at 18 from a virus. The universe was cruel, you thought. It was a fitting end, though. Meaningless and daft, like your entire life was. Born on a planet you were not made to be able to survive on, your real planet a long-forsaken dream you will never experience for yourself, surrounded by nature that could kill you in an instant. Alone, never fitting anywhere, orphaned by human diseases: cancer and greed. Left to fend for yourself when you were just ten, learning to navigate a life that only seemed to want to clobber you to the ground whenever you thought you finally could stand up again.

There was no light at the end of the tunnel, not anymore. You wanted to fight for something, for the chance at life, or at retribution, or at love. You were dying and Neteyam killed whatever hope remained in you. They all did. Norm, Max, Jake, Neytiri, Lo’ak, Kiri, Spider, all accomplices, all aware, all willing to lie to your face for weeks with no remorse. You thought you were good at spotting liars, now you just knew how little you knew about everything.

The pain in your soul mirrored the one in your body, as you felt the morphine wearing off and your human body struggling to keep the mind steady for the link. You had to bear it, because this pain was more manageable than the one you knew waited for you in your human form, when you would be alone in a dark room with only your nightmares to keep you company.

With a sigh and a peer up at the sky, you hoped whatever comes after death was better than the hell you’ve lived in the majority of this life.

Neteyam waited the whole night in your tent, waited for you to come back, becoming increasingly worried as the hours passed and you didn’t show. He wanted to go and look for you, but knew that as soon as you got on your ikran, the chances of finding you were thin. He would go to the lab as soon as dawn broke, but for now, he was praying that you would just burst through the tent opening so he can talk you down.

He fucked up, badly. He cringed at the thought of how much he seemed to not be able to get anything right when it comes to you. Everything he did or didn’t do ended up hurting you more, the only thing he didn’t want, the only thing in the world he continuously tried to avoid.

He was consoled by the fact that he would have a lifetime to make it up to you. He will not give up trying, no matter how long, no matter how hard, he was determined to win you back and keep you, forever.

As you made it back to your human body in the early hours of the morning, you regretted waiting so long, as your body was in indescribable agony, the likes with which you didn’t know was possible for the human body to ever experience. Your heart was beating a mile a minute, you were sweating bullets and every bone and muscle in your body throbbed with enough intensity to make it almost impossible for you to get up from the pod. Everyone must be asleep at this hour, you thought. You had to make it to your bed, you had to get at least a couple of hours of rest if you were going to live to see another day. As if you were taking the Iknimaya again, you made your way form the lab to the medical ward and injected another dose of the morphine in your system. There was no going back now, you were too far down the rabbit hole to stop and why put yourself through more unnecessary pain when this will all be over in a few days anyway?

You crashed in your room for a few hours and quickly made your way back to the pod before anyone else was there to talk to. You started the linkpod by yourself and got in without hesitation.

Waking up in your Avatar body was a strange experience, as you were still in the Hallelujah mountains where you fell asleep last night. Neyn did not leave you, you noted, and she was peacefully resting next to you, cooing softly in her sleep.

“Hey, beautiful girl. Time to go back. It would be useful if you knew the way.” you pet her gently, trying not to disturb her. She woke up and pushed her snoot in your chest, and you felt it swell for this animal that you had an unbreakable bond with; you were grateful you had done the Iknimaya and at least gained a life companion from that horrible day.

As suspected, Neyn knew where to take you, and in about an hour you made it back to the village. You dreaded it, dreaded the inevitable interaction, but you knew you had to go back at some point and inform them of your whereabouts.

It was still early, so the village wasn’t quite bustling with energy yet. You quietly made it back to your tent, which you found empty. You grabbed your bow and arrows, knife and gun and a couple extra magazines. You didn’t know if you were going to be back. As you were making your way out, your head bumped into a large, muscular chest.

Fuck.

“Where the hell were you all night, kid? None of us slept a wink last night worrying.”

“Out.”

“What the hell do you mean out? Out where? You leave without telling, you don’t come back the whole night, do you have a fucking death wish?”

You laughed at the irony of his words. He caught your arm as you were walking away and pulled you back forcefully so you can face him.

“You are not going anywhere.”

“Let go.” Jake raised a brow at your words. He was not used to being spoken this way, you realise.

“How long?”

His grasp on you loosened, and his gaze softened when you peered up at him through eyelashes to which tears clung.

“How long has this been going on?”

“Kid…”

“How fucking long, Jake?”

He let go of your arm at your curse, which had never been directed at him before.

“Watch your tone, kid.”

“You made me feel like shit for learning to shoot guns without you. It made you feel bad, right? Knowing I purposefully left you out of something you could have been useful at, something we could have bonded over? I hurt you, by pushing you and Neytiri away for so many years, and I am sorry for that, but you have never, in your life, tried to understand me. So you gave me shit about something you didn’t understand, and I hurt so much inside at the thought of all I gave away by my reluctance to trust, to love, to let people in. So I changed. I let you in. I was here, everyday, acting like a perfect little daughter for you, the daughter I knew you wanted. Strong, capable, skilled. I let Neytiri in. I started calling her mum in my dreams, and although the guilt for my own mother gnawed at my insides silently, I was also relived, to finally have a family again, or for the first time.

You made me love you and break down these carefully constructed walls so you can be comfortable and sleep well at night for not breaking your promise my mum, and then you fucking stabbed me in the back.

I trusted you, Jake. You fucking lied to my face for months. Every time I asked where Neteyam was at dinners and you told me he was practicing, every day you plotted to get me out of the village as early morning as humanly possible and get me back after everyone else was fast asleep, I knew it in my heart you were lying, but you were all so good at it, I thought I was going crazy. But no, it was all a carefully planned ruse to not find out you made me come here and be part of the people just to watch the man I love belong to someone else without even a chance to decide for myself how to feel about it.”

The fight brought out the rest of the Sully family out of their tent, and they were all watching you now, concern and sadness displayed across their beautiful faces.

“You all lied to me. Looked me in the fucking eyes and lied to me, every day, multiple times a day. You were supposed to be my family.

The humans are coming. I will be here. I will stand and fight, you know I will. I will be your little soldier, and be who you made me into.

But I want to make this perfectly clear. As far as I am concerned, you and I, we are done. I am done.” You looked at every Sully one last time, and left.

You were no longer delightfully numb, but burning with anger and earth-shattering sorrow as you stalked away from the village, leaving everything behind. Your eyes were blurry with endless tears, mourning this life and this family that you managed to gain and lose within the span of a few weeks, reeling from the wounds within your heart that never had a chance to mend before being opened again, over and over. You didn’t want to go back to the lab, knowing Neteyam was most likely looking for you there. You couldn’t go to the clearing for the same reason. You had no home anymore, no place in this world, once again. You could only think of one place to go, one place where no one would ever look for you.

Your knees were shaking furiously as you walked, and you were scared of another flashback that you would have to ride out by yourself, but it never came. You just walked, crying and panting from all the pain the last 24 hours brought, and eventually you made it to a place you never thought you would ever see again. The clearing looked peaceful, with rays of light penetrating through tree branches, creating Mandalas on the ground that you found yourself tracing with your eyes.

In the corner, lay a decrepit exo suit, and you made your way to it, settling on the ground next to it. You knew now this exo suit belonged to your dad, and you removed some vines that grew on top of his name, Gideon Barlowe. A beautiful name, you thought, and your mind wandered to the past, a past way before you were even born, and wondered what your grandparents did back on Earth. Did they encourage their son to leave his own planet in pursuit of planetary colonisation, monetary gain and murderous acts? Did they know? Did he know? Was he like that his whole life, or did he start off fighting the good fight, and was corrupted by the jagged and monstrous lifestyle? You wondered if this was what he has always dreamt of doing, or he had secret dreams of being a painter, or a gardener. Did he play guitar, too? You snored sometimes, did you get that from him? You had so many questions for this man you shared half your DNA with, but have never met. For the man that died on a planet far away from home, alone, with no one to mourn him.

Was that going to be you? Would Neteyam remember you in 20 years, when he would tell stories about his childhood to his kids, when he remembered the good old times? Would you get a Na’vi send off? Or were you going to be buried somewhere in the forest, for someone to stumble upon in a distant future you would no longer be a part of?

Sobbing uncontrollably, you heard yourself speak in between wails. “Why am I here? Great Mother, please tell me there is more to this life, there is more to life than this, because I cannot do this anymore. I am so tired. I have tried to keep going my whole life, even when I wanted nothing more than to cease to exist, blissfully collapse in an ether where I didn’t have to feel anything anymore. I kept going because I wanted to make my mum proud, I wanted to honour the body and life she has given me. I am trying so hard, but I am really fucking tired.”

A little past eclipse, you arrived at the lab, and used the keycard you remembered to bring with you. You hoped Neteyam would be gone by now, in case he was trying to find you here. You made your way through the hub and into your bedroom, which looked tiny in your Avatar body. You realise how uncomfortable it must have been for him to be here so often, then cursed your brain for making you think about such things. Your Avatar body needed a bed, so you walked slowly to where the other Avatar bodies usually were laid to rest for the night. There should be an empty space where your mum or Grace used to sleep. It didn’t take long for you to wake up back in the linkpod, as with most nights recently, you were barely able to maintain the neurolink by the time evening came.

Max was waiting for you. “Neteyam came by. He’s been looking for you, said you left the village yesterday and didn’t come back. He was worried sick.”

You didn’t answer him, as you slowly got out of the pod and tried to steady your feet on the ground, harder than it seemed when the entire room was spinning around you.

“What happened?”

“The mate you all hid from me for weeks came announcing herself in my tent as we were just about to kiss.”

“Any other questions?”

You didn’t wait for a response before you made your way out of the room, stalking towards the medical ward.

As you retired to your room for the night, you noted the morphine was not working as well as used to anymore. You sat on the bed, looking at the arm that was getting blue at the amount of needle holes it had, and you knew then you didn’t have much time left. Maybe a couple of days. A couple more days of this. And then it would finally be over. You gave it a fair shot, this life thing. You couldn’t say you felt particularly sad at the thought of it ending. You pressed play on your vintage record player and let yourself sleep.

“Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe, all the hell you gave me?

'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you, til my dying day”

You spent the next 2 days in a haze, drugged out of your mind, waking up before eclipse and leaving to your dad’s grave and sleeping in the woods until the night, barely able to make it on your own two feet. Even in your human body, Neyn recognised you, and stood by you, which gave you some peace of mind. You made sure to bring her fruits from the lab, and she cooed warmly as she settled next to you.

When you made your way back that night, Norm was waiting.

“Where the hell have you been? Everyone’s been looking for you for 3 fucking days.”

You removed your oxygen mask and made your way to the room, where he followed you. You were in so much pain you couldn’t see straight.

“I am talking to you!” he took you by your arm and spun you around. The motion made you instantly sick, and you struggled to keep down the fruits you shared with your ikran.

“Let go of me, Norm.” you had no strength in your body anymore, so it took you awhile to shake him off.

“You look like shit. What did you do?”

You managed to make it to the bathroom, where you shut the door behind you and got in the shower. Fortunately, for you or him, you couldn’t tell, Norm was gone when you came out.

The next morning, you woke up desperately searching for pain relief and didn’t know if you were going to be able to make it to the ward before your knees would collapse on themselves. You were shaking and dizzy, out of your mind with agony and walking to the bathroom felt like the most intensive workout you have ever done. You peered up at yourself in the mirror and were scared at the eyes watching you, rabid and wild, like an injured animal waiting to lash out. It was too much for you to bear, and before you could even think or rationalise, you felt your fingers curl into a fist and make contact with the cold glass of the mirror, shattering in dozens of pieces, and it made you weirdly happy to have a visual representation of how your soul felt. The instant pain of the all the wounds the smash caused also gave you a weird sense of euphoria, and you realised it was taking away from the pain in the rest of the body, which was only able to focus on one agonising sensation at a time. This felt like a kiss by comparison, and you knew then you could go on a little longer, you could continue with the rest of the day.

Norm came bursting through the door at the loud crash.

“What the hell happened? Are you okay?”

You came out of your bathroom, blood dripping all over the floor as you made your way to the bed, sitting down on it.

“Leave, Norm.”

“What?”

“Leave.”

“What the hell has gotten into you recently. you are rude and brash, and you hurt people’s feelings with no remorse. This isn’t you.”

“What the hell do you know about me, Norm?” you say, laughing bitterly.

“Ace, stop.”

“You don’t know anything, Norm.” you kept going, the fury and hurt getting the best of you, once again, your need to destroy everything in your path as a way to cope with your own heartbreak winning by a landslide.     

“Did you know I have needed pills to sleep and to live a normal day-to-day life since I was 13? I have been slowly depleting our sleeping pill and benzodiazepines inventory and replacing it with multivitamin pills I found in one of the drawers. I mean thank God none of you suffer from anxiety or panic disorder or need help sleeping cause I would have been busted so long ago.”

You laughed mockingly at his shocked face, jaw so close the floor now you could trip on it on your way out.

“Did you know I am about a week and a half away from dying after I accidentally smashed a vial of infected blood and got it in my mouth?”

You stand corrected, you think now his jaw was close enough to the floor to trip on it.

“Did you know I have upgraded from a pill addiction to a full blown opioid addiction in order to not collapse on the floor in excruciating pain because of the way this virus is eating at my insides? Yeah, yeah, that’s right. We’re almost out of a whole vial of morphine after I injected it in my veins every day for a while now.”

He had no words. “That’s about right.”

“I do know one thing you do know, though. You know that Neteyam had his mate announcement ceremony that day I took off. You were there to see the two love birds announce their love and pledge their commitment to each other the one day I was not there. And that’s why you were acting shifty. You know about that. And somehow you forgot to tell me, every day, for weeks. How does that work out, Norm, hmm?”

“I felt so bad for snapping at you a couple of days ago. I felt like a horrible fucking person for hurting your feelings. I should have been watching my back, instead.”

You got up from your bed and started walking towards the door.

“If I were you I would not linger in a room with poisoned blood dripping on the floor for too long.”

You found some paper towels at the side of your bed and wrapped them around your bleeding, pained hand, and with that, you left.

After you upped the morphine you usually took, you went to the lab and prepped a hood for some more experiments. Work was a good way to get your mind off things, to mindlessly do something that had a purpose other than driving you to the brink of insanity.

You heard a loud banging noise coming from the entrance, and you had a sneaking suspicion you knew who it was. You heard Norm open the door.

“Is she here?”

“Yeah, but Neteyam, I think you should go. She’s not in a good place, and I really don’t think doing this will end well for either of you.”

“I don’t care, I have to talk to her, I have been looking for her for 3 fucking days.”

You heard the door to the lab slide open and hissed at the man you knew would be trying to come in, realising hissing in a human body doesn’t have nearly the same effect.

“Get the fuck out, Neteyam. This is a sterile room.”

“I don’t fucking care about the room, Atan. Where the fuck have you been? Please come out so we can talk.”

You threw your head back and laughed, really laughed.

“You really are delusional if you think there is any way in heaven and hell I would want to hear anything you have got to say. The time for talking was a couple months ago, Neteyam. The time for talking was the first day I got my Avatar body, where in addendum to telling me you own my ass now, you could have also sprinkled in the fact your are now mated with someone else.”

“I am not mated with anyone, for fuck’s sake. Just come out so we can talk, please. I will explain everything, please!”

You stopped what you were doing and looked at him, for the first time since that day. He looked exhausted, anguished. Deep purple bags under his eyes, that were burning red where the whites should be. He has been crying. Good, you thought. He looked panicked and miserable and desperate for you to give him the time of day, for you to allow him to explain the unexplainable.

You sighed and your heart constricted in pain. Neteyam will not be happy until there was nothing left of you, until he took everything from you. At the same time, you were curious, morbidly curious as to what has actually happened, what led to this moment. You knew he loved you. You knew that much, but it didn’t seem to matter in this moment, as he broke your heart for what felt like the thousandth time in your short life.

“Go to the clearing, I’ll come when I’m ready.”

You half considered just leaving him there to wait, abandoning him just he did to you. You finished splitting your cells and treating them, and in about an hour, you went into the linkpod and took your Avatar for a walk in the woods. You reached the clearing shortly, as it was close enough that even child you could do it without getting too far away from the building.

You saw him standing there, his back turned to you and his legs submerged in the river that was rushing violently downstream. It was a cold day, and rain was trickling down your body like shivers from a kiss. There was tension in the air, and you knew a storm was coming. You could practically feel the charge in the atmosphere, and were expecting thunder to start any minute now, ready to mirror the agony in your soul.

“I’m here.”

He didn’t speak for a while. Just stood looking at the river, deep in thought.

“So many of our moments throughout the years happened here. Remember when I taught you to swim in the river? Now, in retrospective, that was a bad idea since the water kept taking you away, to the point I had to wait at the end so I could catch you in my arms, like you were a baby.”

You winced at the memory.  You thought you could do this. You felt numb in that lab, numb on the way here, but as soon as your eyes focused on him, tears starting pooling in your eyes and pain overtook your body, that you tried to counteract by wrapping your arms tightly around yourself. He’s caused you so much hurt, so much grief in the years he’s known you. But he was also at the forefront of most of your happiest memories. You could fill endless manuscripts with the beauty of his love, that shone so brightly over you your whole life. He was the light in all the darkness and you honestly didn’t think you would have survived this journey without him.

That is why this hurt so much, why your body was convulsing on itself in insurmountable grief. And also why you owed him this much. Owed him this conversation, and the right to explain his point of view, that you were still unfamiliar with.

“I remember. I remember even at the time, thinking this was a good metaphor for our relationship. Life kept sweeping me off my feet, but you were always there to catch me, before it could take me away. I had so much faith in you back then, you were a fact of life, like the eclipse. You were the one person in this world I thought would never hurt me.”

“Fuck, Y/N, all I did before I left is hurt you.”

“What are you talking about?” You were confused at the turn this conversation took. What did he mean? You couldn’t recall a single time Neteyam hurt you before you left. Sure, you would fight and bicker sometimes, but it was a normal part of any relationship, you thought. And he always made it up to you, would always come to the lab and sit with you with flowers he collected or trinkets he found in the woods, always holding you and kissing your forehead to make sure you were over it before he had to leave. Fighting with him was ironically one of your favourite things, because you knew the aftermath was the closest you ever felt to being in heaven.

“I almost fucking killed you. Or have you forgotten? Have you forgotten how I manipulated you into getting on top of an ikran when you were just a 13 year old human and almost watched you die? Have you forgotten I took you to the woods and raced you to your dad’s remains? I was a walking magnet for disasters in your life and I was tired, so fucking tired of watching your life fall apart all around me. I had to watch you learn to walk again, limp because of my actions, for years. I had to pull you out of flashbacks and nightmares you developed because of ME. You were always fine in the woods with Lo’ak or Kiri, but everything bad that has happened to you happened around me.”

He was crying, panting and angry, at himself or you or the universe, you couldn’t tell.

“I thought that if I left, you would be ok. I just wanted to protect you. My whole life, all I have wanted was for you to be ok. But it seems no matter what I do, I keep fucking up.”

You had no words to speak as you lay there, listening to him letting you in to a secret you have spent so many months agonising over. The reason for his departure haunted you for a year and a half, even when you refused to think about him, about it, it was there, constantly emerging from the depths of your subconsciousness, taunting you in your dreams. Why? Why? Why?

Because he wanted to protect you?

You didn’t have time to process all of this new information, before he continued.

“The night you found your dad, I was shaken to my core, in a way I have never truly been before. I was so heartbroken, for you and for myself, for knowing this will haunt you for the rest of your life. I went home and mother found me, and told me that maybe I can’t help you in the way I’ve always wanted. That maybe it’s better for you that I remove myself for a while and leave you room to breathe and heal. So I did. It took me a long time to get the strength to do it. Every time I thought today is the day, I would see you and you would smile at me, and we would sit on your bed and you would read to me or play me songs or just be there, just you and me, and I couldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. You were everything to me, my light in all the darkness.

A year later, you sang me the song and you were smiling at me singing it, and I knew you were confessing feelings we have both felt for years and couldn’t say out loud. And I knew that if I stayed, whatever we had would escalate past the point of no return. If I stayed, that would be it. And that’s when I decided. I thought I was doing us both a favour. I knew it would hurt you, just as much as it hurt me, but I thought the pain would subside in time.”

You were crying now, you realised, tears falling silently and effortlessly down your face, with no intention to ever stop, instantly washed away by the pouring rain. There were no sounds, no sobs or wails, or panted breaths, just the sounds of rain and hopeless, soft cries and muffled sniffles, for the man in front of you, for all that you have lost, for the past you shared and the future that you would never have.

He got up from where he stood and turned around to face you. He walked towards you until he was so close to you could feel his breath on your face. His stare made goosebumps appear on your entire body, so earnest and desperate, so full of intensity for the words he was trying to convey to you.

“It didn’t.” He said, at the same time you thought the same words in your mind.

“A few years ago, mother and father told me I would one day have to find a mate. They knew and I knew it was expected of me, but I always put it off, so they eventually dropped it. I learnt later they both knew about us, so they didn’t push me into anything until they felt I was ready. A few months after they realised I decided to leave, they started bringing it up again. I didn’t want to hear it, but they said it was time, as I had refused for years longer than what was acceptable in the clan. I met with so many girls, all from good families, all healers in training, all wrong. Beautiful girls, smart girls, skilled healers and singers, and it was like looking at the grey walls of your lab. I felt nothing, I felt sick just thinking about it, like just the thought would be betraying the memory of our bond. Eventually, I told them they can decide. Grandma can decide whatever she thinks is best, and, as Tsahik, I would listen to her voice and wisdom, and do my duty to the clan. She chose Tiongli. I knew her growing up, and we were friendly, so I tried to make an effort. I would go to her tent, and she would show me her training sometimes, I would let her heal my wounds and imagined it was your hands touching me instead. I visited her family and paid my respects, and had dinner with them whenever they invited me. I hoped in time, I could learn to care for her, to lessen the distaste in my mouth whenever my family or the clan talked about the future, about the ceremony, about the life I was supposed to lead that I hated even the thought of.

And then, one day, my dad sent me to get Lo’ak from the lab. I was so scared of knowing I would have to see you again. It had been so long, and so many feelings gnawed at me on the walk there, terror and anxiety, guilt and longing. But then I saw you, and there was only one feeling: love. Like no time had passed at all. I knew then I was going to love you for the rest of my life, and that will never change. That was my fact of life, my eclipse.”

He slowly took your face in his hands, and his thumb was caressing your cheek trying to wipe the tears and raindrops that were falling mercilessly. You saw his face slowly getting closer to yours, and you knew you should pull away, you should remove yourself from his grasp before the kiss was going to remove the last ounce of happiness from you. You knew what you had to do, knew that no matter what information or answers or justifications he would give you today, they wouldn’t matter. You should pull away, because there is no future, no hope. But you couldn’t. You didn’t know what waited for you in the afterlife, but if there was any chance you would have your memories, you wanted this kiss to haunt you forever, to remind you of the life you left behind.

His lips touched yours so gently, it felt like a whisper. Like a hug, tender and warm, it was so different than your first kiss. Tears were still running down your face as your lips moved, entangled with his and begging for more. Your hands went to his chest, to his neck, to his back, just touching him, trying to memorise his body, this feeling. You wanted so much more, you wanted to be his, you wanted to feel him, you wanted him to own you, like he did your heart, which has been his your entire life and will still be his after your death.

You were a mess of wet tangled limbs and panted breaths by the end, and eventually, he broke the kiss to look at you through teary eyes.

“I love you, I will always love you. I am so sorry.”

“I love you, too.”

“But this doesn’t change anything, Neteyam.”

“Thank you, for finally telling me why you left. For giving me some closure for something that has plagued me for so long, it became a constant part of my nightmares. Thank you for having my best interest at heart; it couldn’t have been easy to leave, if you didn’t want to, it took a strong heart to do something that hurt you for what you thought was the lesser evil. But it doesn’t change anything.”

“You left me. You broke me. And you never gave me a chance to make my own decisions. To figure out for myself what was the path forward. I have NEVER blamed you for my misfortunes. The ikran ride is still a beautiful memory to me. You made it a beautiful memory. If it weren’t for your quick thinking, we probably would have both died at the hands of Toruk. You saved my life, Neteyam. You carried me home and stayed with me while I was having surgery, you stayed with me after, while I recovered. You pulled me out of the worst panic attack I have ever had when I found my dad, and you rode out so many of my flashbacks, I have lost count. You weren’t the cause or the common denominator of these events, I was. I am the one plagued by misfortune and hurt and death. Not you. And if you tell me you had to leave to save your own peace of mind, I would respect that. I don’t know anyone in this world who can take this, take me and all the shit that follows me everywhere I go. I don’t blame you.

But if you tell me that you did this for me, that I can’t accept. I didn’t ask for any of this. You gave me no choice, and no say in this relationship, in our shared life. You just left. I deserved better than that. And I deserved better than to find out about a mate after months of lies and manipulation and deceit. I don’t care. I don’t care if you are going to say that you didn’t want it, or you were going to undo it, or that you’ve always loved me and never her. I don’t care. You lied to me, you manipulated me. You accused me of fucking your brother as you were promised to another woman that you hid from me for months. I do blame you for that, and I will never be able to forgive you.”

“Please, Atan…I will tell her no. I will tell her -.” he was sobbing now, his hands still on your face, pleading.

“No.” you slowly took his hands in yours and removed them from your face.

“I think you should do it, Neteyam. She is a good girl, she will make a good Tsahik, and a good mate. Your mother was right, there is no future here - there never was. I love you, so much. But I think you have broken my heart one too many times. I am done.”

You turned your back and walked away from him and the life that was lost - forever.

You were completely soaked when you arrived in the lab, and you went straight to the Avatar laying room and cried. Cried until it felt like no more tears could possibly come out of you. You cried yourself to sleep and then cried in the pod, on the way to your bedroom, and in bed until your human body eventually collapsed from exhaustion. You cried in your dreams, in which Neteyam was kissing you and touching you, doing all the things you were silently begging him to in your mind just a few hours ago.

Eventually, nightfall came, and you had to get up to do the rest of your experiments and top up your analgesic. Ironically enough, you were making real progress on your work. You found a combination therapy that was showing incredible potential in slowing the virus down. It wasn’t enough to stop and eradicate it, but it was enough to give people more time and hopefully give the scientists more time to find a cure. It wouldn’t help you, but maybe you could still help others.

At some paint through the night, as you were making up some reagents, Norm bursts through the door holding a bunch of equipment and some pills, you realise. He puts them down on the bench behind you and speaks.

“Right, stop whatever you are doing, right now.”

“I am in the middle of something.”

“I don’t fucking care. Stop, now.”

You were taken aback at his words and attitude. Norm never got mad, or lost his composure. He was so most well balanced person you knew.

You put the pipette gun down and turned around to face him.

“I still need to adjust the pH on this.”

He ignored you while he prepared the myriad of little gadgets he brought with him. He motioned for you to take off your lab coat, and you rolled your eyes in annoyance, but did as you were told regardless. You were too tired to argue anymore.

He raised the sleeves of your top until they couldn’t go any further up your arm and put a blood pressure monitor on you. You felt tension as its sleeve tightened around you painfully, but eventually it gave out with a puff, and you heard beeping as the machine finished its reading. You looked to your right where the monitor lay, and saw red lights flashing, letting Norm know your blood pressure and pulse were dangerously low. His eyes widened slightly at the sight, but he held his composure, removing the gadget from around your arm and putting it away. He then read your oxygen levels, which you saw were constantly dabbling between 89 and 90%. Not good, you thought. No wonder you could barely breathe anymore. Norm cursed silently under his breath, trying to not let you see him, but if there was one thing you were good at, it’s reading people. Well, you thought you were, at least.

“Did you do any tests on your blood? How is your complete blood count looking?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Why the fuck not, Ace? It’s not like you don’t know how to do it.”

He was angry, really angry. You’ve never seen Norm this angry, you’ve never seen Norm acting this way towards you.

You just shrugged. With a huff of annoyance, he took your arm and prepared a needle and syringe to collect some blood. He gulped and you could see tears forming in his eyes when he looked at the violet bruises and needle holes that were plastered along the length of your brachial vein.

“Just didn’t get around to it.”

“You didn’t - Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“What medicine have you been taking? Did you take the Relenta, or the combination therapy we have been working on?”

“Neither.”

You swear you saw Norm’s entire body enter a catatonic state and he turned so red you were worried he was going to release steam out of his ears.

“You have been sick for a month and did not take anything, none of the treatments we have been working on?”

You couldn’t look him in the eye anymore, finding comfort in the pattern of the tiles on the floor.

“I can’t believe you. I didn’t peg you for someone who would just throw their life away meaninglessly. Your mum had to die because we didn’t have a way to treat her illness, and here we are, with a solution that YOU came up with for your own illness, and you will just not even try?”

You were quiet, not really having a way to rebut his questions.

“Fine. We will start you on the combination treatment tonight and take it from there. There’s other things we haven’t tried yet and I’m sure -“

“NO.”

“I’m not asking you. I’m not letting you fucking die.”

“Why must you always fucking try to fix everything, Norm? Some things can’t be fixed. I don’t want the fucking pills. I am done. I want this to be done.”

“So you’ll just die? Is that what you’re saying? You want to die, and not even fucking TRY to see if there is more to this life. Goddamn it, Y/N. I thought having the Avatar would help you realise life is worth living, there’s beauty in this world beyond the walls of this lab. You got your first kill, you did the Iknimaya, you’re going to become one of the people. Don’t you want to see what your future holds? Don’t you want to live to see yourself grow up? Fall in love, start a family. There are more guys in this world than just Neteyam.”

You gave Norm a dirty look and got out of the lab.

Neteyam felt his whole body reel after your conversation. It didn’t change anything, he thought bitterly. He thought explaining it to you, allowing to see that he had good reasons for his actions would allow you to forgive him, to at least allow him the opportunity to make it up to you through time. You left, just like he had so long ago, but there was a finality to you that he didn’t feel then. Back then, he always had hope that a miracle would still be possible, one in which you got an Avatar, healed and loved him, forever. He wanted to love you forever, but his apology and explanations were not enough.

He lost you, again.

He spent the night flying on his Ikran, just flying and letting the rain soak his thoughts and hurt away. He just wanted to disappear. He wanted the rain to melt his bones until there was nothing left of him but the memory of happier times.

In the early hours of the morning, he made it back to the village, trying to hide his cried out eyes and calamitous grief. He was dreading having to talk to his parents, to explain to them what happened, to have to go through with Tiongli and this future he didn’t want and will have to suffer through for the rest of his life. He didn’t have time to worry about it too much though, because, as he managed to get to the tent’s entrance, he heard Norm’s voice and his dad’s, intertwined with his grandma’s voice rising above them.

“It won’t work. Eywa will not allow her to come back.”

“Why not? She has taken her Iknimaya, she has completed her kills, she has spent her entire life in the village’s service, trying to help the best way she knew how. If she doesn’t deserve this, who does?”

“It’s not that she doesn’t deserve it. It’s that she doesn’t want it. She doesn’t want this, Norm. The Great Mother will not transfer the conscience of someone with no future.”

“But maybe if this happened, she will realise that she wants to live. Once she’s rid herself of her weak body, of this disease, maybe she will -“

“The Great Mother’s word is final. She will die, because she wants to die.”

Mo’at’s voice rang in his ears so hard he thought his eardrums would pop.

She doesn’t want it.

She will die.

What were they talking about? Who would die?

No… it couldn’t be. No, the Great Mother wouldn’t be so cruel.

He didn’t wait to hear the rest of the conversation, running as fast as his feet could carry him back to the lab. He reached soon enough, he was faster than most other people in the village, and started knocking on the door of the lab with all his might.

“Y/N, OPEN UP, I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE!”

Eventually, Max came to the door, through which Neteyam burst without consideration for the tiny human next to him.

“She’s not in, Neteyam. She left before any of us had a chance to say anything.”

“Was she in her Avatar body?”

“No, the body is in the den where they sleep.”

He didn’t bother thanking the man, as he turned on his heel and started running again. She was there, had to be.

It was still raining, the clouds relentless as they released drops that poured gently down his face and body, and Neteyam thought the Great mother was crying, mourning the love being washed away like a pebble in the river of the clearing, just like he was.

You were there, of course you were. A current shocked Neteyam at the sight of you. This was the first time he has seen your human body in months, and he found it hard to reconcile the image of you he has known all his life with this current one. You were incredibly thin, so thin, whereas a few months ago he could trace your muscles, he could now trace your bones. You were pale, almost ashen, and the hair that he once spent so long admiring was now brittle and dull, obvious even as it was, wet and clinging to your back. You looked lifeless. He felt a lump form in his throat and tears pool in his eyes that were still not dry from all the pain this day has brought.

You didn’t notice him yet, your human ears much less sensitive than your Avatar, so you were just sitting on the riverbank with your chin resting on your knees, which were brought to your chest and your arms wrapped tightly around them. You were looking at the water, and it was like you weren’t actually there. You were in your own world, far from here, from this hurt.

“I was going to ask if it was true, what I heard Norm talk about in the tent today, but I think you’ve answered my question.”

Neteyam saw you flinch, and it felt like even that brought your weak frame pain. You were trembling when you looked at him, and your face made his own drop in shock. Your beautiful features, the blush in your cheeks, the glimmer in your eye, the pink of your lips, your animated expressions or raised eyebrows, were all gone. Your eyes looked glossed over and numb, your face looked ghostly and sunken, and Neteyam swore he could trace every blood vessel on your forehead and neck. The sight of you made whatever happiness or hope he had left dissolve and trickle down his bones, until it reached the ground where it was eventually buried, never to be seen again.

“I didn’t think I could make myself any clearer, Neteyam.”

“tell me it isn’t true. Tell me he’s lying; he’s making it up.”

“What part?”

“All of it.” Neteyam was angry now, trying to contain the temper rising in his chest.

“Tell me you’re not dying.”

“Norm has a big fucking mouth.”

“Can you for once in your fucking life just answer a question? This is fucking serious!”

You winced at his words, then struggled to get up, but did eventually and fully face him. The state of you hit him like bullets, piercing and scraping at his every organ, leaving bleeding wounds behind.

“It’s true”.

Crack, crack, crack. 

“When?”

“The night you gave me the guitar. I was so busy being in love with you I forgot to put the proper protection on, and I smashed a bottle of infected blood. It got in my mouth, in my nose.”

“I thought you were working on a cure.”

“Haven’t found it yet.”

“But you said you have something that kind of works, something to give people more time.”

“I’m human, it doesn’t work that way for us.”

“So, you’ve tried.”

You weren’t looking at him anymore, just staring at the ground in front of you, somewhere next to Neteyam’s feet.

“Tell me you have fucking tried.”

It thundered aggressively as Neteyam said that, and he saw you once again tremble at the loud sound. You have never been a jumpy person. You were the bravest person he knew. You were the strongest person he knew. It was unspeakable having to watch you now, sitting meekly in front of him, when just a few days ago you took the Iknimaya, taking the climb to the toughest tests known to the Omatikaya, doing it like it was nothing, just another day for you. To know that this is what was hiding underneath, this is what you hid from all of them, made him both impossibly miserable and strikingly enraged at the same time.

“TELL ME YOU HAVE TRIED.”

“NO, OKAY?? NO, I HAVEN’T FUCKING TRIED.” You were sobbing now, your tears washed away by the rain and wind as soon as they fell down your cheeks.

“Why?”

“Because I am tired. I want this to end.”

“I thought you were happy. I thought you were better. You seemed better in the Avatar.”

“I was better… in the Avatar. Because that wasn’t my life. That was just a beautiful dream, while my life was the never-ending nightmare. It was easy to pretend in that body. It was easy to be the version of myself everybody wanted me to be. But I have to live with the real me every night. And I don’t want to do it anymore.” The more you cried, the more Neteyam’s blood boiled in his veins.

“That’s such fucking bullshit.”

“You know what I think?”

“I think dying is fucking easy. It’s your easy way out.”

You looked up at his much larger frame incredulously, and he saw how your mood was starting to mirror his own.

“What did you just say? You think this is fucking easy for me?”

“Yes, I think it is. I think all you’ve done since your mum has died is take the easy way out. Put everything and everyone in your little bottom desk drawer, keeping everyone at a distance. Do you know how much mother and father suffered every time you refused to come out, to come to the village? My mother cried herself to sleep at the thought of you alone in that lab, at the thought that you preferred that soulless, empty place to her, to us. Did you know that?

You have not once opened that drawer, not once dealt with anything. All you do is numb yourself down, pretend you are fine and the issues you have suffered through do not exist. Well guess fucking what, Atan? They exist. And until you deal with that pain and let it pass over you and through you, you will always take the easy way out.

You have made me feel like the worst person in the world, for leaving, for lying to you. But what the fuck have you done, huh? You lied to me about dying, for weeks! About dying! What, was I supposed to find you dead one day and that was it? That was what I deserved from you, after all the blood, sweat and tears I gave you? You said I took your choice away. You wouldn’t have even given me a choice to say goodbye to the love of my life before you fucking died!

I left you for a year because I wanted to protect you, you are leaving permanently because you refuse to fucking deal with the pain and hurt I know you feel deep down inside. You had a choice. You could have come to the many people who love you, love you unconditionally, and told us, and let us in, and let us help you. You could have gotten help, taken the pills, fight your damn hardest to make this work, to find a cure, for the life your mum gave you, the life she would have to watch you throw away. You have a choice now. To want to live, to want to fight through this and come out the other side a new, better person. To let me love you, let people love you. To do the consciousness transfer and be with me, and be happy, forever. And you’re choosing this.

You are a coward.”

Neteyam turned on his heel and walked away, before he got a chance to see you collapse on the ground, giving your last few breaths in the place he used to imagine both of your children laying in his arms peacefully while you sang them to sleep.

Tag list (I hope I didn't miss anyone, thank you so much for asking to be tagged &lt;3): @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi @puffb4ll @sassy-persona @simp4ff @mommyneytiri @inomoikawa @jackiehollanderr @jaysarchiv3 @meivap @dakotali @hlhl99 @eskamybeloved @erenjaegerwifee @winchestertitties

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. honey nut cheerio lefty eyebag 😌

I have been sleeping early than usual actually. I think I am just ready for the last few days to past but it feels like the week is dragging lol

Oh wow that is pretty late. I'm surprised that Emily had energy to open presents and play at that time hahaha I would have been telling her to go sleep or santa will take the presents back lol just kidding I wouldn't do that to a 2 year old.

By the way, has it snowed there yet?

That's exciting! Are you guys going to just drive to Texas or fly again?

I tried moscow mule once.. was not a big fan of it 😅 I think I only really ordered it for the little mug hahahaha 😆

Same, I think most places that I've been to that served tiramisu only uses sponge cake. Yeah, I'm planning on making that mango dessert again but with less condensed milk. I am already too sweet. Hahahaha just kidding 😂

CA does have a lot of filipino places 😭 my uncle lives there and I want to visit him next year so that he can take me to all the restaurants that have good filipino chefs. Here there's only one place I know that was open a few years ago, but I don't know if they still are after the whole covid thing 🥲 there is a lady that I found on Facebook that caters and does pick up orders for filipino food though. I ordered her food once and it was decent.

Do you guys have Indonesian snacks that you'd recommend? Since I can't find any Indonesian restaurants here, I may be able to get snacks at the small oriental store we have in Omaha.

Hm that's interesting 🤔 all your movie choices have barely any dramatic scenes. Have you always been like that, not wanting to cry because you think it shows weakness? (Sorry if that came out bad and rude, I don't mean to be rude)

I have to think about mine too because I am drawing blank for 3 movies. I can only think of one that always make me cry and that's the Phantom of the Opera - the part where they sing all I ask of you and then the ending part around where Christine kisses the phantom.

Next, name 3 movies that you could watch on repeat and never get tired of.

By the way, I made a separate account and started writing! Well I don't know if you'd consider it writing, but I posted mostly conversation stuff between r and characters (mainly Wanda).

-CuriousGeorge

Hello hello corn-punn!

How r u today? Aw thats no fun u sleep earlier than usual.. just kidding.

Why u cant wait for the days to past? R u that ready for new year? 😆😁 whats ur plan for new year?

Haha yeah, i let her play but then she followed whn i said it's time to bed..thank god..hahahha.

No, it hasnt been snow or anything here..im so upset right now..🙄 it's not even that cold here.. only 66.

We r driving to t3xas.. it's only 3.5 hours.

Haha i love moscow mule. It's one of my favorite cocktails. I have a set of the copper mugs n the shakers. My husband gave me. Lol. I guess i love moscow mule that much that he gave them to me.lol. my most favorite drink is apple martini and a cocktail named buttery nipple 😅 (it's baileys and butterschotch schnaps).

Haha i used to joke like that about me being too sweet already n thats why i dont need any more sugar on anything 🤣

But i agree with u, u r a sweet person so dont put too much condensed milk,okay?

Hmm right now i cant think of any snacks.. i like Beng Beng it's like snickers but more chocolaty n less caramel. I like the superman wafers.hahah. there is this sweet tea it's called teh botol but it's in a box 😅 it's my favorite. It's very famous there.

Ah i see. Yeah sometimes facebook have some information of our country food..sometimes it can be pricey though. U can google indonesian food n if u have any questiom about it, u can ask me.

Yeah,i'm always like that. I guess it's because i try to look strong in front of my sister. U know, to be a good example for her.

My sister is more expressive than i am. I would try n pretend to be strong until i break down n even that i usually choose to be alone when i have a break down. 😅

So it will hurt my pride too if i cry just because of movies.

I love phantom of the opera.. n that All I Ask Of You is one of my favorite song from that show.

3 movies i never get tired to watch..well,since im in the mood of rebel so i will give u more than 3. 😅😆

1. The Proposal

2. White Chick

3. Any modern family episodes

4. Devils Wear Prada

5. Age Of Ultron

6. Greta

7. 13 Going 30

8. How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days

9. Hot Chicks

How bout u?

Next questions

Cheerio!

[bakatenshii]

LMFAO ME TOO, I usually only cook ch/jp/kr dishes (my comforts are mapo tofu and korean seaweed soup) because that fits my palate v well. My mum, however, loves pasta, so she likes it when I make it for her :) best part about pasta is you only need 1 pot and 1 beeg pan to make everything, less dishes.

I'm- I'M ACTUALLY NOT A BAKER since I can't taste the food as I go along, but I'm quite the perfectionist, so when it comes to baking, it always ends up fine :) A recipe I've tried TWICE, and have been successful BOTH TIMES, is this Apple Tart (yt link). If you need somebody with more in-depth explanations, Claire Saffitz has a wonderful recipe book (friend has confirmed since I don't have it LOL) and an excellent YouTube channel!

Honestly, the best thing you can do is figure out if your oven has any major hotspots and if the temperature is accurate inside if you want to consider using it more often :) I also recommend you investing in a scale! Doesn't have to be fancy, but a lot of recipes give you gram/oz. measurements which are much more accurate than US cups etc.

...i'll bake just 4 u, my lil waifu 💟💗💜💖

Epicurious on Youtube is a superb resource - they have many videos that explain ingredients, ways to do things, explorations of cooking; it's a fun channel, and I'd highly recommend browsing through them, if it hasn't popped up for you before.

I owe my life oh my god thank you so much this is amazing, I’ve acc been seeing a lot of apple pie vids and I’ve been super tempted actually so this is literally perfect! THANK YOU SO MUCH OH MY GODDD this is so so good

and I am with you 10000%, the thing that puts me off about baking is the fact that you can’t taste as you mix and go and adjust the flavours? it’s kinda like u gotta just risk it all and hope for the best aiajaoaj but I bought a cookie jar to keep on my counter for the aes bcos I wanna be That Housewife™️ so I should probs start actually learning to bake HAHAHAHA

also also, my parents are the same? they love pasta sm and they think its super fancy so they always ask me to make it for them, meanwhile normally my palette’s mostly east asian foods hehe (but i acc started making pasta for the one pot recipes for less washing up omg)

[rossmccallsqueen]

Band of Brothers 20th Anniversary Symposium - From Toccoa to Europe: On the Ground with Easy Company (a brief summary)

no one wanted to write episode 6 apparently

“Put the clock on Ross” 😂

Shane always gravitated towards Roe throughout the audition process, but didn’t know if that’s who he would end up being

Shane said everyone really wanted to go to boot camp

Rick said most of his used source material was him talking to the actual people/George’s wife and people who knew George

“GET THIS GOD DAMN PLATOON ON THE MOVE” 😂

Rick said he just felt really supported by his fellow cast and the team making the show 🥺

“This isn’t about you this is about easy company.” - Ross about how the actors felt as a team doing the show

Matthew said he grew up watching war movies and his dad was a marine, so he grew up with the shows material

Matthew didn’t get to talk to Spiers but he said he “got to stare at his picture, and if you stare at it long enough something happens”

“We we’re all scared of you. We’re still scared of you” - everyone on stage @ Matthew bc of how mysterious spiers was 😂

“Ross is my handler” - Matthew “that’s the worst handler in the world!” 😂

The writers said they were all cocky after they got out of boot camp but it meant they had a show bc it showed how much they bonded

Ross said they all had to earn the right to wear their uniforms bc they wanted to make sure there was respect 🥺

RICK IMMITATED DONNIES NEW KIDS MOVES IM HAHAHAHA

Donnie whalberg took the marches very seriously bc Rick said “he has so much swagger”

ROSS CALLED THEM A BOYBAND “we were basically a boyband” 😂

Episode 6: all of the real life men said that Doc Roe was an “angel” 🥺

Episode 7: there was a moment where Buck was supposed to run out of the trees and be tackled by Luz who would save his life but they decided not to show that part to show respect

Ross said the scene in the church was just so serene for them bc of the impact it had

Episode 7 was one of the last episodes they shot

They shot them In this order: 1, 2, 3, 5, 4, 9, 10, 6, 7, and filmed 8 last

Dick Winters was one of the only people who would talk about the subject matter of episode 9. He kept saying “I was there I saw it you have to tell this story”

Writer wanted to make episode 9 about Nixon and dick was so excited

When winters goes into the widows house he’s so uncomfortable and he feels guilty really did happen to winters

Winters said it was okay thar the writer took his story and gave it to Nixon

When there are mistakes in the show, it was usually because of the real life guys remembering something wrong

[hyunjinspark]

I was busy after reading and only got the chance to send you an ask about it now 😔

Hahaha I started annotating Star Lost, it's fun!! But anyway, the lion plushie :(( Hyunjin won it for Hana just for her to throw it away. I got so mad reading her convo with y/n, especially after finding out that y/n has been trying to win one for most her life! She really wanted one and her 'bestie' just threw it bcs of the missing eye.

I don't like Hana that much in terms of her relationship with Hyunjin and that's not because I want Hyun and y/n together. I just don't think she's actually into him and she's just holding on to the thought that, 'oh! The universe must want us together!!', it makes me so sad but then again I don't know if Hyunjin is into her. Hana as y/n's friend is fine though! She's funny and sweet, just a little competitive 🤕

I'm glad it wasn't that awkward between Seungmin and y/n hahaha, plus I think their relationship will continue to grow outside of work! Will Seungmin's role be very important?? I can't tell so far 😭 nonetheless, I like his role a lot and him.

The way y/n just flipped herself the other way when Hana was leaning towards Hyunjin 🧍🏻‍♀️ it's giving me Only Fools. Also Hyunjin admiring the sky? That must look so ethereal tbh and then their eyes meeting VDJABSJSJS pls 🙇‍♀️ then him just holding his gaze on her?! Excuse me, sir, let the girl breathe!! 😭

I gasp when she rejected the offer, I kept telling her – my screen– to take it back. Itz embarrahseing 🔫 AH okay but when Hana called her asking if she hates Hyun hehe babes, believe us she definitely does not.

y/n's a very sentimental person, and that makes me melt 🥺 she keeps things in her box to remind her of certain memories, good or bad, and I definitely agree that if Hana actually does like Hyunjin, why would she throw away the plushie he gave her on their first date ???

Felix. Lee Felix HAHAHA plss when he puts it that way, it is hilarious. Oh but their dynamics!!! Soulmates <33 i love it. Him noticing that detail about y/n and remembering the first time he knew 🥺 aaaa Felix Lee you make my heart swell.

y/n and Hyun having the same abomination of a drink AAAA I remember from the first chapter was it?? It was also mentioned! Cuties but then the rejection afterwards HSBXHSBSJ CRYING HAHAHA

I wonder if Felix observed y/n's behavior around Hyun or anything different about the way she acted around him maybe? Or how she looked at him 👀

Then the sad...sad, verryyy sad days of y/n trying to catch Hyun for a talk :// OH BUT OUR BOY WOOYOUNG MAKIN AN APPEARANCE !!! also, Hyun swooping in the last minute.

Let me tell you how bad I had to take a break when I read that Hyunjin noticed her when she walked in as she adored the place 🤜😩

y/n is so cute 😭😭 so so cute !! I think Hyunjin fell in love the moment he found out she actually wanted to get to know him haha like until they reached the panicky Seungmin.

Wait I forgot to add the part where Hana literally turned down the idea of sitting on Hyun's lap as he paints?!?!? I'm punching the wall rn.

You're so good a writing istg, I aspire to be you hahaha aaaa m so excited of the next chapter.

They're gonna be alone 🕺🕺

Is this ask too long?? Hahaha im sorryy

-🌼

hii lovely. dont apologize, im so happy you sent this! this is what i look forward to after writing each part, hearing your thoughts. 💭

you annotate star lost??? let me kiss you 😚 exactly :( hana did not appreciate the gesture, and its more sad because we know yns thoughts about it. and you’re right ! hana definitely feels that she’s meant to be with hyunjin, which may be more reason than the fact that she likes hyunjin in itself.

seungmin will be a part of the story, so look forward to it 🥺 please yes !!! eyes meeting. so romantic, without anything. eye contact is so fucking sexy, especially unintended😭😭😭

yes wooyoung !! im glad you liked his appearance hahahaha. thank u for finding yn cute 🥺😕💕 i love her too, and i love writing her. she can be all over the place sometimes but shes so cute.

they are gonna be alone 😚😚😚 thank you my love. its never too long dont worry :) it motivates me more than you can imagine

[survivorraccooncity2]

Episode 2: "This round was literally determined by Rock Paper Scissors" ~ Els

LINKS:

Challenge: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/survivorraccooncity2/686258095295528960?source=share

Results: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/survivorraccooncity2/686348384424099841?source=share

Tribal Council: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/survivorraccooncity2/686440161313259520?source=share

~

CONFESSIONALS:

Adeline

Once again, i pregame and think I’ll stay UTR but the game starts and i get impatient and just want to do something. so i volunteered for the summit/hero challenge. And my arch nemesis Ava is there too....

Zukiswa

Today was a quiet day. Nothing major happened. I was so happy that my tribe won the challenge and the plan with my alliance worked. Clefford has really come through and I now trust him. Looks like me, MJ and Clefford are my ride or die in this game. I am also making very interesting connections with Jinx and Ava. These are that at a human level. We have not even spoken about the game yet in our one on ones. It's just very exciting. 

Julia

I confess, the relief at not having tribal tonight, is palpable. I almost got 'tripp'ed up but plans have not been derailed. However, they have changed a little bit. I was trying to save Tony and i dont know why. He dissed me, so ok Tony, dont come looking for my help later.... these boys dont wanna play with me... their loss...im used to being underestimated. Thats one of my superpowers, so im throwing my hat in the ring like a boomerang baby

Ariel

I am writing a confessional early because waiting for the challenge result is making me nervous, and there is nothing I can do about it. So MJ is trying to form an alliance with me and Navi which I am actually really excited about. We all came from different tribes and have different time zones. So yaaaaay! This is actually makes me excited to merge. Hopefully the 3 of us makes it to merge. Speaking of merge, I still have to put myself in a good position within our tribe for me to Survive. And honestly, I have no idea what's going on with our tribe. I have a good talk with all of my tribemates but that is all I got. I don't know who is close with who. I hope Adeline trust me enough to keep me. I feel like I could work with Dj and even with Jinx and Dominique. But my main priority for now is try to work with Adeline, so I can connect to Ava and Els at merge as well. Idk, I am just hoping we will be safe again. I don't want to go to tribal council. Agggh By the way, Survivor SA just dropped the cast and trailer for their newest season Survivor: Return of the Outcast and it looooooks a FIIIIIIIIRE. Go check it out if you haven't. That's all. Bye, amping!

Cliftone

Waking up to a new day after the first Tribal was CANCELLED. Boyyy did we get so lucky! Especially me being that I actually missed Tribal. I would've gotten my first strike had it not been for Brandon being booted. Going forward I really have to be on top of things!

MJ

Yayyy! I eventually created an alliance with Navi and Ariel and we now have an alliance chat. I’m still on the look out but they seem sweet. Hopefully we all make it to the merge cos that’s the whole essence 😂

Adeline

Been way too tired to make video confs. But basically i volunteered for the summit. Ava was there 😡 nemesis. And then we all started the challenge and all couldn’t do it. So we negotiated for a bit and decided to go with rock paper scissors between the three of us. Ava won first, i won’t second, tony last. And we bribe the hosts so that they would tell our tribe that we gave up on the actual challenge LOL. Gave my coins to jinx and els

MJ

Hahahaha I probably the happiest girl in “Fiji” right now 🤣😂😅🤣 my tribe won immunity again! Whoop whoop! We’re giving the “Taku vibes” from survivor US season 42. Ava is really a useful tribe member and they’ve proven that twice. They also gave me a coin which means they trust me enough or like me at least. Everyone in my tribe says we should keep winning till merge! Yes I wish so too but I can’t stop thinking , what if we find our selves at tribal pre-merge. I don’t want that to catch us unaware so right now , I’m trying to make the best possible safest and wisest alliances ever. I’ll make Ava a very good friend but not an obvious ally except if they propose it. I think I’m just still trying to wrap my head round a-lot of things which is okay. Lastly, I need to check up on my one world ally (Navi) and make sure she isn’t gonna home. Ariel and I need her. That’s all for today. I slept of twice typing this. LOL

Zukiswa

Today was not so loud. I think I've made some connections with people outside my tribe though. Jinx feels like my first born. But I know this is a game and I can't play it like a Mom. 

Julia

I am kinda bummed out that we lost the challenge and going back to tribal council to vote someone off. While i think our orig plan - with 2 variables will hold, and neither involves me, anxiety, never far away, IS nibbling at my fringes.... the member that lost the challenge would not engage in a alliance with lil 'old' me the day before and now its too late as ive solidified a connection in an interesting way.... tsk tsk... im glad i understood the assignment ahead of time, as in.... if you accept the challenge and fail, you gotta start dog paddling... now had that member been willing to form an alliance, Id be trying to save his arse... instead now i may be helping to orchestrate his virtual demise mwa ha ha ha ha

Evangelina

https://youtu.be/lCM9_bTdIzE (1 of 2) https://youtu.be/xBrIDtSQsGo (2 of 2)

Navi

Alright so it turns out we didn’t have to go to tribal for the first round… But then we still lost and we’re gonna lose a person regardless this round (yay…) So much for making the most of an opportunity, eh? Well I reached out to Els since they’re the person I trust the most at this point. They asked what I thought about the vote, I pitched Tony since he was one of the targets last round. I’m not super married to the plan, and I let them know that I’m will to hear out any ideas they have. They haven’t responded back yet. Everyone else has been radio silent except for Tony. We’re just talking about Canada lol. This vote is gonna be tough to coordinate on my end since I’m gonna be busy tomorrow (yay work 🙃), so hopefully we can get a plan going and get the pieces in place before I get really busy. But knowing my luck it’s going to be the most arduous process of all time 😭 Oh also, I’m now officially in an alliance with MJ and Ariel. I’ll try to update if anything major happens.

Ariel

Am I toast or am I f*cked? Shooooot, this definitely is not the best thing to happen to me right now. I feel like, Jinx and Adeline definitely is working together either with Dominique or Dj. Adeline and Jinx, both did not give me any coins. So that sucks. It means I am definitely not on their good graces, which I don't really know why? Is this about the time zone thing again? Is this about my past gameplay? Cause that sucks if it is.   Anyway, there's nothing I can do about it. I guess I am just here waiting for my slaughter day. Erst, swap when??? Bye!

DJ

Adeline got us safety! That is a relief, but I am a little worried about how difficult the second challenge was! The difficulty level went up so drastically from the first round to the second round. I need to work more on my social game if the challenges are going to get more difficult like that.

Tony

https://youtu.be/40x8kmATL5M

Clefford

I can now say that the game has really started. I am that kind of person who is organized and want to see things my way or atleast have a control of it. I tried my best to control where coins would go. I had to give 4 coins to Els to prove my alliance with her and 3-3 for me and Jinx. I distributed m coins to MJ and Zukiswa, which both are in alliance, and to Ava since they got the highest score on our first challenge. As the second round started, Ava volunteered to be our Hero in the next challenge. We were all curious on how it will go. They also represented our Tribe at the Summit. When the challenge results been released, I was so proud of Ava for being the number one in the challenge and managed to secure our back-to-back immunity challenge wins. They are so great! BUT, I didn't received any Summit coin from her. I was so confused, because she should've reciprocated my gesture by giving her coin when I gone to The Summit. I felt like I lost control at that moment. I only got 5 coins for these rounds. I got scared of my position in my tribe, even though I'm in alliance with MJ and Zukiswa. I spend all of my coins at the Merchant's Emporium and got an Extortion Advantage where I can extort coins from someone. They must give it to be before tribal or else, they'll lose their vote on Tribal Council. I was so happy, because it was well spent! Now, I'm making observations on who have the most coins, so I can use this advantage. 

Ava

https://youtu.be/oeIOvJkpcbM

Moth

My confessions have been boring and I apologize. I did not expect to be this busy X I hope it’s Tony. I’m happy it’s not me

Els

Hiiii, I bring you another confession that I should’ve done way sooner! This round was literally determined by Rock Paper Scissors It’s rock paper tribal Anyways Julia and I got on a call and rlly bonded, she revealed that she originally wanted me out bc she saw me as a threat and I was like omg but now she wants to work with me until the end bc she didn’t want to lie to me! Summit gave me 4 coins, assuming 2 from Adeline 2 from Tony, I think it’s best that we keep Tony and vote moth out bc I love moth but they haven’t been active at all I wish Tony had trusted me enough to tell me abt the Rock Paper Scissors but hey he gave me tokens so I’m not complaining!!

Jinx

im so fucking stressed right now 😭 and i have to make a confessional? *nancy wheeler vc* ITS BULLSHIT

Dom

So far I'm working on getting in the second person in my 3 person alliance. If this goes well and we all stay true and confident we will be good until the merge as we have pulled in over half the tribe. In this game you can never be too sure so I'm always on the skeptical side, no not paranoid. We will see how this plays out. 

Cliftone

Tribal tonight!! I cannot wait to see how this all goes down (being that it's my first ORG and all) Even tho it's our second time having to head to Tribal, it'll be our first time actually voting someone out. I'll be submitting my vote right after this confessional.

Hunter

I honestly think these ppl r odd i like the els person and Adeline 

~

GAME ROUND NOTES:

Ava, Tony, and Adeline volunteer as Heroes and Summit leaders

Ava volunteers without discussion with their tribe

During the challenge, the participants give up trying to do the challenge. They negotiate that they will pretend to have done the actual challenge, but will decide who wins by Rock, Paper, Scissors, Tony lost, sending Tricell to tribal council.

MJ, Navi, and Ariel form an alliance

Els and Julia grow incredibly close. Julia admits to Els that she wanted to target them, but this only brings them closer together

The Summit distributes their coins as such: Ava with 3 coins gives to Hunter, Moth, and MJ; Tony with 6 coins gives 2 to Evangelina, 2 to Els, 1 to Navi, and 1 to Julia; and Adeline with 3 coins gives 2 to Els and 1 to Jinx

Ariel freaks out because he hasn’t been given coins

Clefford feels betrayed by Ava because he didn’t get a coin from the Summit

MJ has figured out that the Summit  gave coins to Hunter, Evangelina, and herself. They assume that Ava was responsibility for all of these (even though, they only gave coins to Hunter and MJ)

Clifford received the Extortion Advantage

Future Legends decides its better to get rid of Moth than Tony because the latter is more active

Els gave their 4 coins to Adeline

Adeline purchases the Heart Key which is an Alliance Revealer

Els doesn’t trust Navi because Julia told them about her telling Navi about voting out Els. Els is suspicious of Navi not telling them that Julia tried to target Els

~

EDGIC:

Clefford: MORP4 Ariel: UTRM3 Dominique: UTRP2 MJ: UTRP2 Zukiswa: UTRP2 Ava: MORN3 Julia: CPN3 Adeline: MORP3 Els: MORP4 DJ: UTRE2 Cliftone: UTRP2 Evangelina: UTRP2 Navi: MORP3 Jinx: UTRP3 Hunter: UTRM2 Tony: UTRM3 Moth: UTRM2

Raffy’s Winner Picks:

Navi, Els, MJ, Clefford

Amy’s Winner Picks:

Navi, Clefford, Adeline, Zukiswa

~

POWER RANKINGS:

Umbrella

1. Clefford 2. MJ 3. Zukiswa 4. Evangelina 5. Hunter 6. Ava

Tricell

1. Els 2. Navi 3. Julia 4. Cliftone 5. Moth 6. Tony

Progenitor

1. Adeline 2. Jinx 3. Dom 4. Ariel 5. DJ

[getofy]

matchup: #1 - hq boy w/ an extroverted fem reader!

—a/n: wow im genuinely so sorry for taking so long. literally school is ruining my life and i also um,, haven’t been doing the best this past month. i really hope this makes up for it !! it’s kinda long so my bad...also this is NOT proofread lol i apologize if it sucks aaaa.

DISCLAIMER: while this is a personalized matchup, they’re still headcanons, so basically anyone can enjoy them! :]

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hello @/meremoomoo ! you are so cute and tysm for being patient about ur request. i debated who you would go well with for a while, but in the end i came up with...

SUGAWARA KŌSHI!

-

#SUGA: “YOU’RE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!”

#Y/N: “THANK YOU KŌSHI :].”

-

☆ SUGA IS PERFECT FOR YOU, AND HERE IS WHY—

PERSONALITY TYPE:

suga has a personality type of INFJ, which compliments your ENFP personality type well.

“...you may benefit from perseverance in this relationship. your sensitive, sympathetic nature may at times overtake you, leading you to make decisions that feel right but are not really the wisest option. this person, whose approach seems so cold at times, can help you to tune into your powers of objective reasoning and ensure that you are not letting emotions rule your life.” —some website i found

while INFJs are not the most compatible with ESFPs, your other personality type, wonderful things can still come out of INFJ/ESFP dynamics! 

“your differences mean that you actually have a lot to offer one another. your counterpart may inspire you to slow down and think more deeply about the meaning of things, rather than just doing what feels right in the moment. in turn, you can help them to get out of their heads and enjoy life for what it is.” —some website i found

HOW YOU GUYS MET:

sugawara and you did not start off on the right foot at first...

the two of you were in the same class and sat very close to each other so he decided that he really wanted to get to know you.

he also just really likes becoming friends w/ people lol

since you were always laughing loudly with your friends during break time, he deduced that you had a good sense of humor.

he decided that jokes seemed like the right way to get to your heart win you over!

easy enough, right?

wrong.

apparently, he had caught you on a bad day because his attempts to be friendly were not received well. at all.

poor suga.

he does his best to be kind to everybody, but at the same time, he does love to poke fun at others. he probably took one of his jokes too far or something?

or maybe you really were just having a bad day?

who knows.

anyways, after that awkward encounter, he did his best to avoid you.

it’s not that he hated you, it’s just that he thought you hated him. it sort of bummed him out because you seemed cool, but he wanted to be respectful of your feelings!

*sorry it’s not enemies to lovers, but it’s close enough i hope ?

HOW HE DISCOVERED HE LIKED YOU:

the class had finished testing early, so the teacher decided to put on a movie.

AND FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON THE MOVIE WAS OLD YELLER?!!?!?

(basically it’s just an incredibly depressing dog movie. like, if you’ve never seen it then just imagine the saddest movie you’ve ever seen 10x)

anyways, you ended up crying. very loudly.

sugawara was incredibly concerned for you, since you seemed to be genuinely distraught, but he didn’t say anything

eventually, the teacher caught on to your disarray and excused you from the room so you could go calm yourself down.

after some time, the teacher tells suga to go check up on you to make sure ur not dead or whatever lol (you were taking a while).

he was hesitant to do this since he knew you weren’t too fond of him, but suga decides to do it anyways since he didn’t want to be a disobedient student.

he finds you sitting on a bench with tears streaming down your face

and MAN!!

all at once, suga gets this overwhelming urge to make you feel better. but like, as in, he-never-wants-to-see-you-in-this-kind-of-state again-otherwise-he-might-breakdown kind of urse.

despite not being super close to you, he had gotten so used to your large smiles and extroverted demeanor, that watching you cry felt foreign to him.

he missed your smile.

he soon realizes that seeing you upset hurts him because he genuinely cares about your well-being.

so he decides to make it his personal mission to make you smile again.

suga takes the spot next to you voicelesslyand tries his best to talk you through your dismay.

you don’t seem to mind the company, and to his delight you don’t seem to hate him as much as he thought you did!!

suga is very grateful for this

anyways, he manages to cheer you up, and the tips of your lips turn up into a small grin—just like he wanted them to.

AND BOY OH BOY WHEN THEY DO!!

whew this man’s heart skips a BEAT baby and he is lowkey spiraling lol he’s so confused like why is this girl’s smile making me feel some type of way

he had been so focused on what you thought about him, but he had never once stopped to consider what he thought about you (until this very moment, of course).

turns out suga was incredibly fond of you

yeah, that’s how he knew.

suga brain go brr 4 pretti girl

HOW HE CONFESSES:

you two had been hanging out more frequently as of late

and getting to know you was only making suga‘s crush grow EXPONENTIALLY

after many nights spent in long contemplation, he came to the conclusion that it was time to ‘man-up’ and just rip off the band-aid that was being honest about his feelings.

he buys a single flower (tanaka’s advice) and waits by your locker

very very simple and sweet confession typa beat :(

literally SO nervous pls help . he’s scratching the back of his neck and holding the flower out to you with a slight twinge in his cheeks.

“y/n...i know you weren’t too fond of me at first, but i...i don’t know i think we’re great together! and now that we hang out and stuff i was thinking that maybe we could-“

yeah you cut the poor boy off and said yes to put him out of his misery.

literally verbally celebrates when you accept his flower. does a lil victory dance and everything.

ugh yall r so cute.

AFTER HE CONFESSES:

YOU GUYS GET TOGETHER INSTANTLY WOOOOOO

somehow the most wholesome and chaotic couple to ever exist???

you guys spend like every waking moment together it’s adorable

noya and tanaka would jokingly hit on you and suga would pretend to be actually jealous.

i hc him as being a somewhat possessive-y boyfriend so do w that what you will

total best friend kind of lover but he’s also a sweetheart and rlly romantic + respectful abt ur needs:(

y’all r super comfy w each other !!

WHAT HE LOVES ABOUT YOU:

sugawara is usually the kind of person that’s always there for other people so he appreciates the fact that you’re the same way! you guys bond over your shared therapist/mom-friend tendencies, and quickly become the support systems you so desperately needed prior to getting together.

he’s there to listen to you about your problems and vice versa.

he adores how you can meet and sometimes even exceed his energy. it’s a nice change of pace since he usually gets scolded by daichi. </3

thinks it’s cute how much you care for animals! you’ll often find him staring at you in wonder as you pet a random dog on the street lol.

MISC HEADCANONS:

will spend hours on end watching you play video games on FaceTime. after a while, he ended up buying his own console and now you guys play together!

he’s fairly competitive, and will whine whenever you destroy beat him in a game!

he’s so cute pls

one of his favorite things to do after a long day is sit and play slower paced games such as minecraft and animal crossing with you.

whether it’s about your fav historical monument or about a new show you saw, suga will listen to you talk for hours and never get bored. usually he’s always got something to add to the convo though. sometimes you guys get overly excited together and end up speaking over each other in the same way.!

is INCREDIBLE at getting you to calm down?? like, if you ever need to be put in your place, suga knows exactly what to say to do it. does this make sense? lol. you guys have big ying and yang energy sometimes i feel.

you’re his BIGGEST supporter. whenever he’s put into games, you’re always the LOUDEST one cheering him one.

it really touches him to know that you’ll always be there to root for him!! even mr.refreshing gets down sometimes, so it’s incredible to have someone as positive as you by his side constantly reassuring him.

he’s a big animal person as well so you guys like going to volunteer at shelters together!

this was actually your second date HAHA.

if a dog is within a 40 ft radius from y’all, it is almost guaranteed that you guys will sprint to go pet them.

since you’re both athletic, you guys help each other practice sports together! suga’ll throw u soft toss and help you run drills and hype u up before games. & you’ll help him work on his technique and such <33.

y’all totally gossip together wow. you said you were a bit on the meaner side of the spectrum and lowkey he doesn’t mind AT ALL. he lives for it HAHAHAHA.

he literally thinks you’re stunning so it upsets him whenever you get insecure, but he’s always got the right thing to say to cheer you up! genuinely just,,,, so good with his words. if you’re having a bad night, he’s ready to come to your rescue with a gentle smile and funny one-liner and maybe a documentary if you’re lucky enough.

in his eyes, everything about you is beautiful. your hair. your freckles. your body. your laugh. your smile. everything!! he’s going to do whatever it takes for you to love yourself in the same way he loves you.

this man so whipped smh 🙄🙄

tl;dr: suga thinks you hate him. you don’t. you start hanging out. he confesses to you by the lockers. you start dating. you are infinitely better at gaming than he is and will never let him forget it.

YOUR ANTHEMS (in no particular order):

darling by christian leave

pleasantries (with your lover) by mustard service

upside down by jack johnson

sunflower, vol.6 by harry styles

what do you like in me? by nasty cherry

MOODBOARD:

pic 1 | pic 2 | pic 3 | pic 4

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—CONGRATS! YOU’VE WON THE HEART OF ONE OF THE PRETTIEST SETTERS ON THE BLOCK. TREAT HIM WELL! ☆

*do not repost my work without proper credit and my explicit premission

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[aquariusshadow]

Live!Blogging Legacies 3x09

Aight ya'll here we go again with another Legacies Live!Blog session. Listen, I've seen things about this episode...I have high expectations regarding MG and Ethan.

--

belgium...aight i'm down for a change in scenery

CLARK?! CLARK'S BACK HELL YEA

awwww landon youre such a dork i hope you're actually you rn

hope just apologize to cleo--she'll probaly forgive you...i think

i really hope we see hope and cleo interact i miss them

'harmless monster' my ass

yaaaaaaaay another mg and josie scene <3 (yes i saw lizzie and kaleb earlier i wanna see more too)

oh duh mg transfered to mystic falls

i'm an idiot for not realizing that immediately

look at MG inviting ethan to sit with him and josie

.............guys help

its just one scene

its just one scene

thank god lizzie's still pissed at hope, now we just need hope to apologize or do some reconciliation thing

"as your new bestie" awwwwww i really like lizzie/kaleb friendship

OMFG "no tribrids allowed"

hope...you need to realize that landon isn't the only important thing for you

okay i like that landon is trying to help hope deal with everything...im not sure his approach is the best but she does seem to listen to him

monster be like hai

why is landon all of us hahaha

.......its cute.....im scared

dfgdafjgkgjs

"screw you" hahahaha

why does the monster sound like chirithy from kingdom hearts plz help

man i do feel for lizzie :/

i really shouldn't be surprised but i wish alaric would show more...i guess...frustration(???) at the danger hope put josie through last episode instead of just acknowledging it

but it's alaric

i dont expect much from him

LANDON THANK YOU

holy hell thank you for suggesting she apologize

see this is what i wanted Handon to be

omfg......is the monster...mimicking lizzie

ooooo werewolf eyes...this better go somewhere

why why why did it take me until now to realize alaric was the goddamn coach

OMFG YALL WEREN'T KIDDING ABOUT THE TWILIGHT THING

"about three things i was absolutely positive. first. mg was a vampire. second....shit i'm gay"

cleooooooooo you mediator i love you

landon you're so precious never change

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW "i think it's super cool MG has super powers" ajshfdladjfasdf guys help

...did MG only compel ethan to find happiness...cuz that's the case then i just ahsjflasdjfhs

gdi my idiot cats are banging against the door

interrupting my commentary ungrateful felines

honestly? i'm not really feelin kaleb/cleo as a romantic pairing? maybe i'm too curious about hope/cleo but i dont have an issue with kaleb/cleo

i'm very curious about cleo's backstory...will we get to see it after we save cleo from the gremlin?

"is vervain your kryptonite?" MG....Ethan...i....i can see it...so much....

he's so curious and excited ahaha this is precious

SUPERHERO NERD ETHAN X MG THIS IS ALL I EVER WANTED FOR MG

LOOK AT THEM

THEY HAVE A SECRET

A SECRET BOND OVER COMIC BOOKS

ITS A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN

HELP

oh god burn it kill it im too tired for that thing ew

is that damon's car

"gremzilla" jfc hahaha

look at my bbies this is what i wanted for MG

mizzie who??? bitch we got METHAN

this. is. so. precious.

i think i found my new favorite legacies ship

mg nooooooo don't compel him

you need someone like him

" dont leave the part where we met today"

i think you mean 'boyfriends' ethan

okay.........i'm not sure how i feel about a monster being the catalyst for hope apologizing instead of her coming to it on her own

i mean i'm glad theyre talking this out

but...if there wasn't a monster who's weakness is genuine respect this conversation wouldn't be happening

maybe it's better than nothing

but idk i feel like Hope, and Lizzie both, could've grown a lot more as characters if Hope 100% initiated the heart to heart purely because she realized what she needed to do (hell i'm down with Landon talking her through it like earlier)

poor Hope...i really wish she gets a chance to actually work through some of her fear

awwwwwwwwww landon "i can't be everything to you"

thank you landon for telling her what she needs to hear

i'm back on board with handon

i missed handon ( i really liked them in season 1)

oh my god is that

is that elena's house

adjfahlfdjasdf

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

and the fact josie played elena in the musical

and theyre here

afadfhakdfs

ok i really don't care about alaric's character anymore but i really do like his heart to heart convo with josie

i do like the damon and elena references, my nostaglic heart

"MG's my guy" awwww kaleb

mg and ethan are playing football togetherrrrrrrr

awww kaleb :/

awwww lizzie im sure josie will come back when shes ready *hizzie hug awww*

landon, hope, and lizzie watching a movie together..........i like this :D

oh wtf is that

dorian!!!

rasputin......... IN THE DARK OF THE NIGHT TERROR WILL FIND HERRRRRRRR.........no...no one...just me with the anastasia reference? okay i'll see myself out

--

So that episode was probably one of my all time favorites. I just...really enjoyed the character interactions and the monster was entertaining enough it didn’t detract from the episode.

Also...MGxEthan did not disappoint. I love them together. Half my commentary was me gushing over them. I...I found my new favorite Legacies pairing.... Yes I may have embellished in the Twilight thing don’t @ me ahahaha.

[hobidreams]

OMFG DRABBLE 44!!! How come I did not think of that scenario?? Just like oc, I put myself in misery for so many weeks lol 😂🙈 You really did NOT disappoint us. I still have a lot of questions and imaginations in my head but I’ll wait until the final chapter! I’m so excited to see what’s happening. Take your time with it! IM REALLY SO HAPPY I WANNA CRY HAHAHAHA

LOOOOL im actually really glad the twist wasn't too predictable 🥺🙏 but also sorry that you were tortured!! gotta have that last hit of angst before the fluff, right? 🌸✨ hahaha. im working and writing away but i kinda hate everything im producing rn, so i think i might have to take a few days off and hopefully tackle it with fresh eyes 🤧 i am feeling a lot of pressure (mostly from myself) to make it really good 😭😭😭😭

[descendantofthesparrow]

Multipart commission - Harry Hook x reader - A Prince Behind the Pirate - part 7 - its going down

@musicarose​

=

In the night and most of the day you had been locked in the brig, you were surprisingly….not treated like dirt? You honestly had expected mals little stories of Uma to be true, treating her prisoners as if the weren’t even worth the bottom of her shoe, letting her crew torture them.

But the entire time you had been there, nothing really happened, they gave you back your bag and all its stuff inside (with one or two granola bars missing, courtesy of Gil) and had tossed you a pillow and blanket.

All in all, it wasn’t a horrible experience that Mal had foretold, actually, Uma was being….accommodating? and you had to say, Gil was a very entertaining guard.

You laid on your back as you watch Gil deal the Uno cards, his tongue sticking out of his mouth slightly. “okay there, now, 7 each right?”

You nodded and watched as he tossed cards through the bars to you. “what are yeh gilly weeds doin’?” a confused Harry said from the top of the brig stairs, he….looked like a normal teen, his large red jacket was missing from his shoulders, he was now wearing a plain white t-shirt and black-grey sweatpants with some old repaired converse.

“uno! It’s a card game from Auradon, wanna play?” Harry sighed and looked to the ceiling, before shrugging. “sure im bored and can’t sleep”

He slid down on the wall next to Gil, holding out his hands for cards. Gil dealt him out the 7 and then turned to you. “what were the rules again?”

“match the color or number, 7s you can switch cards with whoever you want and 0’s are everyone switches hands, you can stack plus twos and fours, and you can jump in if you have the exact same card”

You flipped the first card down, Gil going next and Harry following.

It was a while before the chaos started.

But booooy Harry was funny when he was mad.

“HOW FEKIN DARE YEH GIL!! I ONLY HAD ONE CARD LEFT AND YEH BETRAY MEH LIKE THA’?” you were laughing your ass off as gil just smiled smugly as Harry screamed at him.

“it's just part of the game Harry!” Gil laughed, leaning back and grinning like the Cheshire cat. Harry pouted and crossed his arms, glaring at him, eyes drifting to you, who was still giggling.

“i-I cant breathheheh!” you cackled, feeling tears run down your cheeks, you cracked open your eyes, seeing Gil beaming down at you while Harry had his….look on his face “s-sorry” you breathed deep, trying to calm down before bursting into another fit of giggles.

“you-you good lass?” Harry had opened the door to your cell awhile ago, so he leaned over and rubbed your shoulder, you nodded and stopped laughing for a moment, staring into Harry's blue eyes….before bursting into ANOTHER fit of laughter. “yer very giggly aren’t yeh” he chuckled

“i-im so-sorry” you cried, your stomach was starting to hurt “Its-its always hard for me to stop laughing” Gil let his own set of laughter lose, sitting up from his spot on the floor and helping you sit up.

“I've learned laying down doesn’t help stop the laughter” he offered, holding you in place as you finally gained control of your breathing.

“t-thanks” you sighed, waving your hands in your face to cool yourself down.

“you’re welcome” Gil chirped, picking his cards back up and nodding to you “your turn right?”

“y-yeah” you picked your cards up and tossed down a +4, jumping in on your own card. “plus-four Gil” Harry cackled

“haha! Revenge yeh gakit!” Gil rolled his eyes and took his cards. Harry smirked at you, slamming down a + 4 and cackling. You just mock laughed and smacked down your OWN +4.

“hahahaha ha~” Gil laughed, putting down ANOTHER + 4 “take 12 Harry!” Harry just stared down at the card, he dropped his cards and stood, giving you and Gil the middle finger and stomping back upstairs and to his cabin.

You and Gil glanced at each other and burst out into laughter.

=

Uma and you just kinda….stared at each other as noon rolled around “what the hell happened last night?” uma cocked her hip and raised her brow.

“We played Uno and Gil plus twelved harry” you shrugged, Uma just looked more confused.

“uh…okay whatever” Uma muttered, scratching her neck “Let's hope your little friends come for you huh?” you nodded, pursing your lips and looking around.

“so what do really want with the wand?” Uma sighed, deciding to just lay it all out.

“be free? That’s it mostly, it sucks here, rotten food, I have to sew all my clothes an-“

“hold the fu*k up” you stopped her, staring at her with wide eyes “ROTTEN FOOD!??!?!”

Uma just stared at you confused “uh yeah? The barge just sends all your leftovers? You didn’t-“

“NO I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT IT HOLY FUCK IM GONNA KILL ADAM MYSELF!” you screamed, “HE LIED TO US, HE TOLD US YOU GUYS WERE GETTING FRESH FOOD AFTER THAT SCANDAL 15 YEARS AGO HOLY FU*K!!”

“w-what scandal?” Uma muttered. You blew your hair out of your face more dramatically than you usually would have.

“a lot of people found out that the isle wasn’t getting ANY good food so they got mad and made him start sending fresh food and assuming you're not lying, he just dropped it as soon as everyone stopped paying attention!!!”

Uma groaned and face planted “I think I remember the small time of fresh food….i think it was like half a year and that was it.” Uma was genuinely surprised at your anger “so you really didn’t know about the whole rotten food thing?”

“i-I don’t think even Ben knows! King asshole is still in charge of the isle…stuff so hes been hiding it from Ben! Im sure if Ben knew, you all would have been eating actual food as soon as he became king”

Uma sighed and rubbed her forehead “This is just one big ol’ mess” she looked over your shoulder and yelled out to Harry “get her to the plank, im sure they’re almost here” she looked back at you for a moment.

“….you won't be going over don’t worry about it” she muttered, sighing loudly as she walked to the gangplank.

Harry walked over and untied you, looking from Uma to you “what did yeh tell ‘er?”

You didn’t answer, looking down at Harry's arms, realizing that he was much…smaller that you thought he would be.

As if he never got enough to eat, you knew if you grabbed his wrist your fingers would touch. Harry frowned as you looked at his arms, forcing you to turn around and push you towards the plank.

“jus’ walk lass” you obeyed and simply walked to the plank.

As the vks arrived, including Ben and Lonnie, Uma got excited, bouncing around and jeering at Mal.

“Finally~! Let's get this started shall we?”

A few minutes of negotiations went by, most of which you stood on the plank, Harry's hand gripping your shoulder to keep you from losing your balance.

“now why would you give me a phony wand?” huh? How did Uma-

Mals jaw dropped and she looked over to you with betrayal in her eyes “you-you told her!?!” Uma let out a cackled, grinning like the cat who caught the canary.

“nope~ you just did~” she nodded her head at Harry, who stared to guide you backward and back to the brig.

“hey- what!?”

“you didn’t go through with your half Malsy, why would I go through with mine?” Uma laughed, gesturing for her crew to advance on Mals, driving them back to the garage.

“we’ll be sending our demands later beasty boy~” Uma cooed, giving him a sharp grin as he looked to you desperately, you sighed and started to head back to your cell. Harry was just behind you, making it seem like he was forcing you back down to the brig.

Something bugged at the back of your mind….maybe you being stuck here would shed light on the isle and in the end, Uma would get what she wanted in a way without the wand or destroying Auradon in the process.

--end of part 7--

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[rosie-moons]

Beauty and the Beast 1 {} Tale as Old as Time || myg

~Pairing: worstboyfriendever!yoongi x travelenthusiast!reader

~Genre: Angst with a sprinkle of fluff

~Word Count: 3.4k

~Warnings: yoongi being the worst boyfriend 😥😥😥, reader crying 😔😔😔, very cliche scenes, a breakup (not the major part though), yoongi crying 😢😢😢, yoongi cheating on reader (YOONGI I SWORE IF YOU HURT OUR OC LIKE THIS I WOULD PUNCH YOU TILL YOU BLEED but you’re saved for the sake of this story 😡😡😡), reader being too forgiving, swearing

~A/N: well. i just had to give you guys angst after dp, didn't i? i know yoongi's stupid in here but pls don't get mad at him bc he's my bb and i love him too much 🥺. also HOMOPHOBES STAY AWAY, CHOHEE AND NARI ARE MY BABES AND I'LL PROTECT THEM NO MATTER WHAT!

~''~

In your relationship, Yoongi had always been the beast.

Missing dates, drinking at the bar and getting wasted almost every night, overall just fucking around… it was common sense that this was what boyfriends were supposed to do, right?

“Right.” was what you always thought- that boys were uncaring and stupid and undeserving of any love.

Well, any love except for yours.

Somehow, Yoongi always thought that you didn't deserve him, that you were the ugly, cold-hearted beast, that you were supposed to love him without anything in return.

And you always thought he was right; forgiving him after his sobbing apologies again and again, taking care of him after drunken nights again and again, convincing yourself that he really did love you again and again- until you decided this couldn’t go on.

No, you had a life outside of Yoongi.

You had dreams.

You had friends, a good social life, a whole group of boys who’d give you the universe if it meant you could be with them.

Why did you choose Yoongi though?

Why not any of those boys, some of whom were more attractive, more caring, treated you better?

~’’~

“Soulmates,” your best friend Nari huffed, turning her head to look at you. You were having a long-anticipated spa night together, cool cucumber slices resting on your tired eyes and some sort of coconut scented oatmeal mush plastered over your face. “You gotta stop believing in that shit, Y/N.”

You sighed.

“I’m trying, okay? It’s just that… I think… I think believing that one day someone will love you for eternity is better than living every day in heartache. At least it gives you hope, a reason to smile, I guess. Don’t you think so too?”

Nari paused for a minute, nodding subtly as she chowed on a cucumber slice. “Now that I think about it, I guess you’re right…”

You smiled, proud that you’d convinced her.

“...but nah, I still think you should face reality more than your imagination, you really have your head up in the clouds too much. All those fairytales- you know why they’re called fairytales and not realistic tales or something? Because they’re just to lull kids to sleep, all that perfect romance doesn’t exist,” her expression softened. “Hey, I really didn't mean to upset you... I was just- are you thinking about him again?”

You shut your eyes tightly, trying to stop the overflow of tears threatening to spill out. “I… no, I’m not. I just… I don’t…”

“Hey, Y/N, it’s alright…” She immediately scrambled off her massage chair, coming over to yours and pulling you into her arms. “He’s a stupid fucker who doesn’t deserve you. There’s so many good guys who’ll die to be with you, Y/N, I’m sure even Seventeen’s Mingyu would date you if you gave him a chance. Really!”

You sniffled, burying your face in your friend’s chest. “Not everyone’s obsessed with Seventeen like you, Nari.”

“Well,” She hmph’ed. “Are there any K-pop groups you like, then?”

“No.”

“How about TXT? Enhypen? Astro? You like none of them?”

“Enhypen’s okay, I guess…”

“There we go! Okay, okay, who’s your favorite member?”

“The one with the really nice smile.”

“All of them have nice smiles, Y/N. Do you know his name?”

“Uh… Sun-something. I think his last name is Kim.”

“Sunoo? You like Sunoo? OMG! OMG! MY BEST FRIEND LIKES SUNOO!” Nari jumps off the massage chair, making “whoop whoop” noises as she dances across the spa room.

A beautiful raven-haired spa attendant creaks open the door, stepping in. “Hello, ladies. I hope you’re enjoying your evening. I just heard… something, and was wondering if you’re doing okay.”

Nari freezes with her left foot still in the air, arms bent in an awkward position. She coughs, blushing as she scrambled to a standing position. “Yes, um, we’re doing fine. Thank you, er…” Her eyes flicker down to the attendant’s nametag, “Chohee ♥” scribbled in pretty cursive handwriting. “...Chohee.”

You flashed your signature wide smile, giving her a thumbs up. “Yep! Nari just gets excited easily, everything’s okay!”

She smiles back, pretty pink lips devoid of any lip gloss or lipstick. “Alright, then. Call me if you need anything!”

“Wait!” Nari calls after her as she proceeds to shut the door. “How are we supposed to call you if we don’t have your number?”

Chohee laughs awkwardly. “Oh… haha… I meant, like, physically call me, not, like, with a phone… haha… but… I mean… like...” She takes a page from the tiny notebook in her pocket, writing something on it. She hands it over to Nari. “Here’s my number, just don’t… spam me… or anything… um…” She clears her throat. “I hope we can… be… friends… or… something…”

Nari smiles shyly, accepting the paper. “Yeah… thanks, Chohee. Um, it was great meeting you…”

They giggle dumbly together before a shrill “CHOHEE! WE HAVE CUSTOMERS WAITING, YOU KNOW!” interrupts the glassy moment. Chohee immediately jumps back into professionalism, clearing her throat. “Sorry, uh… Nari…? Was that it?”

Nari nods.

“Yeah. Nari. Um, I have to go…”

“Oh, we shouldn’t be interrupting your work, should we?” She laughs. “Thanks for… uh… everything…”

“No problem.” They giggle again. “I really have to get going though… Bye.”

“Bye, Chohee.”

“CHOHEE SEO! IF YOU DON’T GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE NOW YOU’RE FIRED! DO YOU HEAR ME?”

Chohee’s eyes widen. “Oop, gotta go. Bye!” She runs off, Nari yelling one last “BYE!” as she waves.

When she finally closes the door and meets your eyes, she’s practically jumping up and down, heated cheeks glowing a fiery red.

You quirk an eyebrow. “Now do you believe in fairytale love?”

She coughs, picking at a scratchy stud on her arm. “I… no… I mean… maybe…”

You clap your hands once, grinning as you watch your friend’s face burn hotter. “Well, would you look at that! For once, I’m not the one that’s crazily in love and stupidly giddy!”

“Stop, Y/N!” She whines, playfully hitting your arm. “And plus, um, our face masks are hardening. It’s time to wash them off. I’m going to the bathroom. Um. Bye!”

And she’s taking off towards the bathroom, the sound of running water jolting you from your thoughts about… him.

Yoongi.

You bite your lip, wondering how pathetic you could possibly be. He doesn’t love you. He probably has a girlfriend and is about to get engaged. He probably doesn’t even remember you.

You look up at the blinding white ceiling, the soothing forest sounds playing from the speaker you forgot about now your only source of comfort.

Because the last two were “probably”’s, but the first one was a fact- Yoongi didn’t love you, and he never did.

~’’~

“For the last time, Nari, I’m 100% sure she likes you back. Just text her, tell her to meet up with you, confess at some cute caf-”

“No, Y/N! You don’t get it, I’m, like, really, really sure she likes the coffee shop server we met the other day, they were practically making out and- oh god, don’t even remind me about the lovey dovey googly eyes!” Nari stomps her foot childishly as you sigh for the upteenth time.

“Nari, just-” Your eyes widen, a brilliant yet sneaky-ish idea popping into your head. “Actually, it’s okay if you don’t want to just yet. I advise you to go take a shower though, wouldn’t want to be stinky, right?”

“But I’m not going anywhere special-”

“HAHAHAHAHA it doesn’t matter HAHAHAHA just go, go take a shower, go go go right now!”

“You’re acting weird…”

“HAHAHAHA am I now?”

“Um. Yeah. Alright. I’ll go shower. Bye.”

“BYE!”

“You’re being very enthusiastic.”

“Am I?”

“Yeah… bye though.”

It was an ordinary Saturday morning with Nari lounging at your place, complaining that Chohee wasn’t paying attention to her. So you’d tried to convince her to confess- which didn’t work, by the way.

Anyway, with Nari now in the shower and screaming along to “Chandelier” by Sia, you were ready to launch your plan into action.

Swiping her phone off the counter, you typed in the password (which she’d told you, as you told her yours as well) as fast as your glittery fake nailed thumbs could manage, plastic click-clacking against the oil-smudged screen. Nari had a habit of never washing her hands before texting, even after some good ol’ cheetos or fried chicken.

You click on the Textalk app and swipe down until you find Chohee’s contact (written “Chohee baby ♥❦✶⭑").

10:42 am

Nari Lee said: hey chohee :) u there? Chohee baby ♥❦✶⭑ said: nari Chohee baby ♥❦✶⭑ said: r u ok Nari Lee said: of course im ok :D Chohee baby ♥❦✶⭑ said: O-o hmm but u never use emoticons Nari Lee said: oh i just found out that i like them haha

10:43 am

Chohee baby ♥❦✶⭑ said: *raises eyebrow* Chohee baby ♥❦✶⭑ said: ok yeah im here, wassup? Nari Lee said: so… i was just wondering if ur free today for lunch, i have something to say to u Chohee baby ♥❦✶⭑ said: oh yeah ofc! where?

10:44 am

Nari Lee said: um how about magnolia cafe? @12? Chohee baby ♥❦✶⭑ said: awesome! ill be there <3 Nari Lee said: sweet!

~’’~

“So…” You say, casually sliding into Nari’s room. She’s in a fluffy white bathrobe, brushing her hair and singing to herself. “What do you say for lunch at the Magnolia Cafe today?”

She shrugs. “Why not? I just showered, anyway.”

You smirk evilly. “Great! Make sure to put on some makeup and wear something nice.”

“Got it!”

~’’~

“Y/N!” Nari whisper-yells to you. “What in the name of my fuckin’ soggy underwear is Chohee doing here?!”

You hum, unbothered, as you skim over the menu. “How should I know? Anyway, I’m going to order some brunch. How about you?”

“Y/N! Ugh, shut the fuck up, I’m having a life threatening crisis right now! And why is she looking at me? And waving?”

You just smirk, shrugging. “Oops, gotta use the toilet. Bye!” You then dash off towards an empty table right behind theirs, wanting to laugh like a commando mad scientist. Your plan was done, and now it’s just time to see if it works.

Chohee walks over to Nari, and you see her visibly gulp. “Hey, Nari! You said there was something important you wanted to say to me?”

“Uh… I don’t… no? I don’t have anything to say?”

“Oh? Ah, I see. You’re making it suspenseful. Haha, I think I’ve had enough suspense. Spill!”

“Um… I like omelets?”

“What?”

“I… I like plants?”

“Excuse me?”

“Uh, I like you- WHAT AM I SAYING?!” Nari’s hand flies up to cover her mouth. Chohee furrows her brows.

“You… like me? Like, like like me? As more than a friend?”

“I-”

Chohee leans over the table and kisses her full on the lips, the sight so endearing you chuck out your phone and snap 18 photos. When they separate, Chohee’s grinning, Nari’s face a dark crimson and her bottom lip trembling. She touches it.

“You… kissed… me…”

“Mhm.”

“So does that mean-”

“I’d love to go out with you, Nari.”

And they’re giggling again.

~’’~

“HAVE A SAFE TRIP!!” Nari and Chohee call after you for the 26th time, waving like maniacs. You smile.

“I WILL!”

This was going to be the most exciting 2 weeks of your lifetime- you were going to Italy.

Italy.

~’’~

The small coffee shop is cute, light Italian jazz music playing in the background. The wooden walls are adorned with pictures of the owner’s family, the sweet smell of coffee beans drifting in the air.

To put it simply, it’s perfect.

Perfect for an exhausted coffee lover like you.

“A latte, please-” You pause when the server furrows his brow.

“You… eh… wan’ coffee wit’ milk, no? Not jus’ milk?”

“I mean, um…” You immediately pull up your phone and type into Google Translate. “... caffe latte.”

He nods. “Non c’e problema!” And a minute later, your latte is in your hands, the delicious smell wafting up your nostrils.

You sit down on a cushioned seat, marveling at the decorations and how cozy and warm it makes you feel. Taking a sip of your drink, you smile.

The moment is peaceful and happy, the chatter of the other customers fading in your ears as you just smile. No one to interrupt your daydreaming, no one to come over and call your name-

“Y/N?”

Your eyes shoot up, a familiar pair of cat-like ones staring at you. His hair is black as night, swept carelessly against his perfect forehead. His cute pink lips are jutted out in a tiny pout, pale moonlight skin practically shining. He’s ethereal, and hasn’t changed one bit.

“Y/N?” He says again, tilting his head slightly.

“O-oh. Um. Hey, Y-Yoongi, um, didn’t expect to see you here…” You laugh nervously, scratching the back of your head.

He laughs too, sitting down in the seat opposite yours with a black espresso in his hands. “Yeah, I found a job here. You?”

“I’m on vacation.”

“Cool.”

You stare at each other, having nothing to say. It’s like you want to stretch this moment out forever, stretch it until it erases all the horrible things he said and did to you.

He speaks again. “How long has it been?”

“What?”

He closes his eyes, clasping the mug between his hands tightly. “How-how long has it been- since I last saw you?”

You look down at your lap. “2 years.”

Silence.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

Your eyes start to wet, a lone tear slipping past your eyelids. There was no barrier now, more droplets following the first one’s lead and cascading down your cheek. “Stop.”

He doesn’t stop, instead choosing to nab at your heartstrings with more words. “I’m so sorry, I only realized how bad I fucked up when you left… I never stopped thinking about you, Y/N, I thought about you every fucking day-”

“Stop it now-”

“And I realized that I love you more than anything, that you were the treasure I held onto without even knowing I valued you that much. Why do you think I chose to come to Italy? Because I knew it was always your dream to visit here, and I hoped I would run into you somehow. I lived like that, in heartbreak and hope and desperate love and whatever the fuck else every single day, just praying you’d forgive me, praying that you’d come here and tell me that you still love me-”

“Yoongi.” You stand up, slamming the table. Your chest is heaving, breathing heavily as you try to take in everything that he said. “Stop. It. Stop saying sorry. “Sorry.” So what? Sorry won’t help anything, I don’t love you and we are over. In fact, there is not even a “we” anymore. You are you and I am me, completely separate, all ties cut, whatever you want to call it.”

“Y/N-” Yoongi’s voice is desperate, those forlorn eyes swimming with melancholy. You cut him off.

“Shut up, Yoongi!” His lip trembles, looking up at you. You feel a pang of guilt, but throw it away along with all your other feelings. Everyone at the coffee shop is looking at you two, the server mumbling something.

You don’t care.

No, you don’t care about anything.

Not about how much you missed him, how much your heart ached, how much you wanted to just fling yourself into his arms and kiss him- convinced he was a changed man.

Not about how he was pleading you right now, fat droplets rolling down his blanched cheeks as he whispered “I love you”’s over and over again.

Not about how the coffee shop server was hurriedly jogging towards you, incomprehensible Italian filling the air.

This was supposed to be a safe place.

The sweet scent and lulling conversations you fell in love with just moments ago, replaced with bitter words and the sound of tears.

You don't care.

You don't care.

You don't care.

Why are you crying, then? Why are those salty droplets cascading down your face? Why are you fighting so hard between your heart and your brain, trying to decide which to listen to?

Should you take him back, act like nothing has happened like your heart tells you to? Or should you give him the ignorance he deserves, leave the coffee shop and try to forget about this whole catastrophe like your brain says?

"Do you love him? Yes, you do. So choose me, your heart."

"Choose me, Y/N, your brain. I'm telling you to be rational."

You shut your heart out, brain taking over control. Yoongi deserves this. This of indifference, apatheticness, maybe even hatred.

“I don't love you, Yoongi.”

And you were out.

~''~

That night in your hotel room, you cry and cry and cry until the familiar “ding a ling ding a ling ding a ling ding dong” of a Textalk video call wakes you up from your thoughts.

You pick up, wiping all your tears until there is no trace of them left. “H-hey, Nari,” You hiccuped.

“Y/N, what is going on?” Nari’s eyebrows are furrowed as she tries to read your face. “It’s the first day of your dream vacation and you’re crying? Tell me what happened, please.”

“Yeah, you don’t look too good…” Chohee chimes in, sticking her head into the screen. “Don’t tell me you were robbed or something? Oh, no. No no no no. Please let it not be that.”

You smile halfheartedly, trying to change the subject. “Hey, Chohee. Staying the night?”

She nods, concern still painted over her face. “Mhm. But that’s not important, can you please just tell us what happened? It’s okay if it’s something small or stupid, we’re your friends and we’ll be here for you no matter what. We’re just… really concerned, and-”

“Yoongi.” Nari says suddenly, eyes wide.

“W-what? Y-Yoongi? What- what about him? I-I mean, I d-didn’t run into him, I-I’m just a-asking…” Your eyes are wider than cantaloupes, praying she wasn’t some psychic and had mystical powers or whatever.

She sits up from her previous lying-on-her-stomach position abruptly, looking at your stunned state. “Yoongi… do you remember he said he always wanted to visit Italy? He… was he there? Did you run into him?”

You are unable to speak, stuttering as your lip trembles. “Y-yes.”

Chohee and Nari both scream.

“THE WHAT?!”

“YOU RAN INTO YOONGI?!”

“Guys!” You yell, trying to somewhat calm them down (although you needed calming down yourself, too). “Stop! It wasn’t much, okay? Just- just some… talking, and then I left! That’s all!”

They look at each other, not sure whether to believe your explanation or not. Chohee opens her mouth a few times, as though pondering if she should speak or not- and no words come out.

“Really!” You exclaim, trying to convince them. You throw your hands up into the air for exaggeration, trying your hardest to look like you’re telling the truth. “We were like, um, best friends! Like nothing happened! And the coffee server didn’t come and shoo us out! He didn’t! And Yoongi didn’t cry or apologize or anything!”

Nari sighs. “Look, Y/N. I’m only saying I believe you because if I don’t you’ll bug me forever. But seriously, as your best friends, Chohee and I hereby promise to smack Yoongi in the face and shove skunk poop up his pretty nose. Right?” she looks at Chohee expectantly.

Chohee nods. “Yep. And don’t forget about the eating facial cream and drowning in turnip juice part. Y/N, I don’t care who it is, but if they dare to hurt you I will not hesitate to knock their teeth out.”

“If they even dare to insult you in any way, I’ll help Chohee knock their teeth out. I'll do most of the work, obviously, since... actually…” Nari pauses, biting her lip as she thinks. “Maybe, if it’s Mingyu that insults you, I’ll let him go…”

Chohee smacks her arm, rolling her eyes as Nari yelling a loud “what was that for?”. “For heaven’s sake, Nari! That totally ruined the moment.”

Nari shrugs, shooting Chohee a glare. “What, are we shooting a drama or something?”

You smile, looking down into your lap as your two friends bicker and give each other friendly smacks.

Maybe, just maybe, this world wasn’t unfair to you after all- you found happiness outside of Yoongi and the world of romance.

Maybe.

~''~

~''~

~''~

Okay. I did okay with the ending, right???? I did okay with the plot, right???? I didn't make Yoongi too horrible, right????

Right.

Okay.

Welp, anyway, remember to check my blog for updates on when part 2 is coming!

-*+ Rose +*-