#and im dating the most amazing man that i dont deserve

[katstratfordfanclub]

december 17, 2023

dear tumbr,

finals are over and i have an abundant amount of time to just get lost in my own mind. i spent the whole day cleaning my bathroom for fuck's sake.

life since the last update has been full of complete ups and downs but i kinda want to focus on my emotional shit right now because thats the thing im struggling the most with.

so ive always been a huge mess emotionally. change is something i struggle with really bad too. my mom stayed home with me until pre-school where it was decided that I needed to go so that my separation anxiety could have a chance to get better. it was hard. going to school continued to be hard for me until the third or fourth grade, long past when it was normal. i would cry when i would get dropped off for the first week or two but the older i got the more ashamed i became of crying. it wasn't normal but i couldn't help it, i would try to stop it but i couldn't. i could only try to hide it to the best of my ability. my emotions were to sensitive according to those around me. being sensitive shouldn't be a bad thing but the word 'sensitive' is frequently used as an insult. i internalized it. i didn't let myself show anything that could be construed as weakness past the fifth grade. it helped. once people stopped seeing a reaction they were less likely to pick on me. this has lasted to nineteen. i have become uncomfortable showing any emotion that is unguarded to others, even those who i desperately want to be able to show how much i love them and that i know want to know when i'm not doing well.

i've taken to experiencing my emotions in private. the dull ache of yearning for connection and the pressing weight of the worlds standards and wanting to be better. i want to be better. better in both in terms to my health, mental and physical, and for those around me. i fear i don't do enough. i don't want to be clingy or rather i don't want to be seen as clingy. i know i'm clingy, i alway have been. but my clingy nature has made me scared that i'm annoying. i don't want to be annoying. i don't want to give anyone a reason to leave.

i'm scared to show sides of myself that are unsavory. especially with clar. the more of myself i show him, the more reasons i give him to leave. at the same time, i want him to know me, in my entirety. its almost like i want him to have all the information before he makes a decision. i truly don't know what keeps him with me. he has done nothing but support me and i've been a complete mess for the past month. i try to pull it together but i don't want to lie. i don't lie to him. that's one vow i've told myself is that i wont lie to him. i don't know why he's with me though, its the one thing i can't wrap my head around. i don't know why he reached out in february about valentines day. i don't know why he reached out in march. i just don't know what is appealing. don't get me wrong, i'm glad he did. i love him. but he could do so much better than me. he could have someone who isn't like this.

anyway, it's christmas time i shouldn't be sad.

i've been crying for two hours now, i cant think straight about what i want to write about.

tldr; i'm insecure and mentally unwell. i hate who i have become.

kat out <3

[eternalera]

megumi birthday headcannons <333

He hates his birthday, despises it with a passion, this is mainly because of Gojo and just stemming from the fact that he never really cared about the day that he was born in the first place. After all he didn't really know when it was until Gojo showed up and insisted that he knew. The man then did some digging into his birth records and... yeah it was soon found out

Tsumiki always made a big deal of his birthday to try and 'cheer him up a bit' and since he always prepared well for her birthday's she wanted to prepare something amazing for his. Which usually consisted of a trip to the park to watch the animals, and some sweets (which Megumi barely ate and then when Gojo came... I'm sure you can figure it out)

He doesn't really care too much about presents unless they're really thoughtful or they're something that he really wants (which he doesn't want a lot and good job trying to get it out of him)

He's just the type of person to say 'i dont want anything' whenever you ask him what he want's as a gift

Gojo always bought him the most expensive shit for his birthday, toys and stuff like that but once he saw that Megumi didn't really care for stuff like that he started giving him more practical (yet still silly) shirts and clothing for him to wear and whenever he sees him wearing it he teases him

Tsumiki and Gojo plan surprise parties for Megumi on his birthday so often that it's not really a surprise anymore

Once Tsumiki fell into a coma though those surprise parties turned more into Gojo just trying to get Megumi to do anything for his birthday

This is because Gojo and Tsumiki basically made a pact a while back to cheer Megumi up and always make him have fun at no matter the cost and thats kinda why they threw the surprise parties and it's why Gojo continues doing it now

Once Yuuji and Nobara came along Megumi did not tell them when his birthday was

They found out from Gojo who came into class one day with a plethora of birthday stuff and began singing happy birthday to Megumi

Megumi was not amused

Nobara and Yuuji then proceeded to harass a poor Megumi for an extremely long amount of time before Nobara just went 'ah well guess i dont have to get you a gift now'

Meanwhile Yuuji went 'I DIDNT GET YOU ANYTHING IM SUCH A BAD FRIEND NOOOOO'

They went shopping for Megumi and halfway through they lost Nobara (she began shopping for herself)

Megumi and Yuuji were left alone and both wondering that if this was technically a date

It practically was

BACK TO GENERAL HEADCANNONS

Megumi still tells no one when his birthday is so Yuuji and Nobara plan parties for him all of the time

When Megumi and Yuuji started dating Yuuji began panicking whenever Megumi's birthday would come up because he didn't know what to get him and that made him a 'bad boyfriend who didnt deserve megumi'

Nobara is practically Yuuji's therapist during such trying times

Nobara gets Megumi random shit, like literally whatever vaguely reminds her of him or something that she thinks that he might like, although sometimes she'll shop for herself, give Megumi something and if he doesn't like it then she'll take it

Yuuji planned a date for Megumi's birthday one time and everyone followed them around the whole time (Megumi knew, Yuuji didn't)

anywaysss HAPPY BIRTHDAY GUMI!!

[thesophistiicate]

im not trying to act all high and mighty, im just genuinely confused by this... i truly dont understand girls who allow themselves to be put in degrading situations the same as the last anon? surely its glaringly obvious that man just wanted a body to use? i know i sound so mean but im genuinely actually confused whenever i hear or read girls talking about experiences like that i find it very hard to understand what would make them give the most undeserving men access to their bodies and souls like that... i can kind of understand if you sleep with a man for the first time and he treats you badly after but what i dont understand is going back again and again and expecting a different result. at that point maybe youre a little to blame as well? why would you even sleep with someone who youre not even in a relationship with? im just very lost i thought by now we all know better than to give just anyone our time. i see this even in my girl friends, theyre all so beautiful and intelligent yet they date terrible men that shouldnt even be allowed to breathe the same air as them and when they inevitably cheat or hurt them they genuinely get heartbroken and then they start to tell me about things the man has said to them and show me their text conversations and in my head im like "hes telling you right there in that message that he doesnt care about you..? what did you expect..?" sometimes it feels like girls get into situationships and relationships just to get themselves hurt on purpose because, and this is gonna sound so mean but i dont know how else to word this, but theres no way people can genuinely be this blind and stupid. i just find it so hard to feel sympathy for girls who numerously get shown and told theyre only being used for sex and still stick around for a different outcome. is that what love supposed to be? am i the one with the twisted understanding of love? am i missing something? i hope im not coming off as heartless or conceited, im genuinely confused i just dont know how to express or word it well

i'm happy to hold space for expressing thoughts imperfectly or even harshly, so long as we are willing to find understanding and not stay stuck in judgement 🤍 i would say the challenge for you here is learning to stay out of judgement (it is all right to acknowledge that's not how you would act, but attaching value statements and labels like 'stupid' don't help you be kind and don't help anyone else thrive either), and leaning into empathy (finding understanding when someone acts in a way you wouldn't, rather than judgement and frustration).

i say this as someone who used to be really judgemental, not to tell you off, but because it's so good for the soul to learn this growth. judgement and labels are easy, it's far more difficult to build the emotional intelligence to hold space for nuance and complexity, to extend compassion and nurture even when somebody is making imperfect decisions.

i think that you're someone with a really good level of self worth and self respect who cares about others too. that's so amazing! the best thing you can do is continue to hold your standards and lead by example. you aren't the one who has it wrong at all. healthy, respectful relationships aren't like this! keep your standards high, show your friends examples of high standards. as much as it will feel like they aren't listening, sometimes a simple, fairly neutrally toned: "wow, you deserve better" or "geez, i wouldn't put up with that" or "that's not normal" will linger and have more long-term impact than you realise.

i know it's easy to look in from the outside and say, can't you see it?! he just sucks!! or to look at the end of a crazy story and be like, girl, there was SO many red flags wtf!! (lol me at my past self!) but when you're in the middle of it, it's actually really hard. these people are master manipulators and they know how to keep their victims hooked. love bombing, mixed signals, disrespectful treatment to lower self worth... it's a wild ride inside the storm, you simply cannot see clearly because they are committed to obscuring the view.

at the core women get themselves into these situations because of low self worth. it's why i talk about it ALL THE TIME, it's SO CRUCIAL. when you don't value yourself, you put up with being disrespected. the more you are disrespected, the lower your self worth drops and the more bad treatment you accept. it's a toxic cycle. it's the exact same dynamics as in any abusive or domestic violence scenario (even if the relationships aren't abusive and he's just casually disrespectful - that is the beginning of abuse), and it's pretty well researched why women stay, how they get in those situations, why they find it difficult to leave, why the cycle keeps repeating with new partners. i'd highly recommend researching it if you want to understand it better. every woman should be educated on this topic.

you are right to some extent: if you want to get out of the cycle you do have to take responsibility for your own behaviour. you have to ask why you're accepting being treated that way. what led you there. why you are obsessing over their behaviours but not questioning your own.

but to confront all this is very difficult and painful and often related to trauma and neglect. yet another reason why so many can't escape the cycle, to face all of that can be more painful than putting up with a shitty guy who just wants sex without commitment... the crap treatment is easier to face, until it isn't.

it is a form of self-harm, a kind of self-destruction as a way a broken mind and spirit tries to cope with trauma. to end the relationship would be to limp out and finally confront how broken you are. when you stay in it you can stay delulu. it's a form of escape.

of course, to a healthy person it doesn't make sense. why would anyone ever willingly hurt themselves? and yet, it's a psychologically observable phenomenon and unfortunately the solution and path to healing is far more complex than just not doing that or getting into those situations. if only!!

but the way out DOES involve making a decision that you deserve better. which is why we need to keep talking about these things, bringing them to light, being compassionate, creating safe spaces for women in these relationships to talk about what they're experiencing without judgement, shame, being called stupid or asking for it etc 🤍

i could speak for a long time on this, but i'll leave it there for now... it's all right to not understand it. i actually think that's a good thing in a way, it means you're in a good place. but certainly if you really want to understand it, the research is there!

[wizardfrog69]

hii im so sorry if you dont take requests I just wanted to ask if you could write poe x chubby insecure reader? Or just insecure and anxious if youd like also could you add in Ranpo too if you write for him? I used google translate so sorry if my english is off have a nice day!

I do take requests, and I wrote for both. Thank you for your request!

'•.¸♡ Insecurities ♡¸.•'

Insecure/anxious/chubby reader

Fluff/comfort

Masterlist

Enjoy!

Feat. Poe, Ranpo

Edgar Allan Poe

Man is over here fan girling over you 24/7 and writing 200 poems to you every day.

When he learnt you were insecure, he would very shyly give you a hug and tell you everything is okay and you have nothing to be insecure about. He did stutter through most of it, but he tried.

Will make sure to make you feel as loved as he can make you feel, mostly through writing, because he could never tell you face to face as he will have a heart attack 20 times.

The letters he writes for you are filled with love and compliments!

If you feel bad about yourself, then he would do his best to distract you. This could be something like reading to you in front of a warm fire with Karl snuggled up between you two.

Ranpo Edogawa

Ranpo never really understands why you feel so insecure about yourself. Since he is so amazing he only dates amazing people too.

He can be mean and tease you in your insecurities, he means well though.

He does try and comfort you to the best of his ability on your worse days, telling you you are wonderful and so on.

He likes boasting about his ability, but that isn't the only thing he boasts about. Often he talks about you, especially in a setting where you can hear (or Yosano so she can gosip with you) so you can hear all the things he adores about you. He also tries to compliment you in private.

༺♡༻ 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 ⋆ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 ༺♡༻

i fixed it. I cannot edit these on my phone so if my posting wasn't irregular enough it's going to be more irregular and i may make more grammatical or spelling errors so sorry in advance.

have a wonderful day/night, and remember to drink something and do something thats makes you happy, you deserve it :)

[deathofnessus]

Reposting my tg channel posts here so i dont lose them, a lot of words so its under cut:

1. All characters i have for the space setting so far and short descriptions of each(similar to the ones in my pinned, but a bit more detailed for my followers there ^_^):

-Rodion Melnikov, he/him

Definition of a burn out kid except hes like 40 now. A very ambitious academically man in the past, he grew more secluded with each year, as he began to worry that its too late for him to succeed now (although his definition of success is very twisted). Joins the expedition in hopes to finally find some new amazing discovery and get the recognition he believes he deserves. Dated David Ross for 5+ years when they were in their late 20s-early 30s, met through the academic field. An only child btw

-David Ross, he/him

David is an engineer, working in the field of rocket science. He is very passionate about his craft but overall a very laid back person, not prone to conflict. Knows everything about the Nessus, treats it like his child of sorts 😭 Kind of became the captain due to all of this knowledge. And people trust him a lot. Dated Rodion Melnikov in the past.

-Carwyn Morgan, she/her (he/him for most 💔)

The oldest member of the crew. Joined the expedition out of deep academic intrest, although was unsure about it at first. Technically has a role of an assistant to Mariana Renea. Passionate about her work, which is one of tthe biggest reason her and rodya got along so well. Had a long wild life before this expedition. Also shes an egg ... girl your gender.!!!!...

-Mariana Renea, she/her

Technically the captain, more so the leader of the expedition, the one that got everyone together. Shes been best friends with Morgan for years, their families were close for years. Shes obviously a very responsible person, also extremely passionate about her work. Has done a lot of things for her field of science (dont know which one yet. Sorry), shes well known and respected. This expedition is another big step in her career. Also had a family.

2. Answering moots questions, both rus and eng:

more thoughts on the expedition itself 🔽

3. Big answer to a big set of questions about the free timeon the ship, the character dynamics and fun facts about morgan:

I was gonna answer this with doodles but im impatient so i might come back to that later... First of all thanks for such detailed message i rlly appreciate it! I think the dynamics in the crew are definitely a little tense, especially bcuz of rodya and davey, but they usually try to stay chill. I dont think they would have big arguments or anything, at least not before the accident™ They definitely have a lot of respect for one another, but i think at least for rodya especially theres a bit of academic rivalry in this all, although the rest i think are kind of the opposite in thay way, feeling more unitied due to their goals and passions and stuff. So yeah rodya is definitely the one most likely to get "infatuated with the unknown", but i do think Morgan is similar in that way, maybe not as intense though. Mariana would be cautious but definitely intrested and i think Davey is the least likely, he'd definitely say nope and go the other way.

As for passing the free time on the ship, thats definitely something they do yeah! I never thought about it that much, and now thats definitely something id like to draw once i have the time so thanks for the suggegstion :D i think theyd have some pretentious ass board games along with some silly ones, but considering how long theyre on this ship i think at some point they'd get bored of all of them, which would lead to them hanging out all together less fkr sure. Maybe someone would suggest their own made up games and i think that person would be the fifth character™ that i dont have any story for, but their general function in the story in my mind rn is the younger guy that breaks the tension between all of these old serious people >< So work is important, yes, and they do spend a lot of time on it, but i think theyre all smart enough to understand that rest and hanging out together is important. Except maybe rodya. I think theyd have to drag him to these games by force most of the time. And every time they definitely regret it bcuz he always wins, which pisses everyone off. And he probably havent played any of these games before, hes just naturally good at them. I do think mariana at some point learned his stragidies and was able to sometimes win over him lol. Morgan and Davey love to team up together to try to beat "the try-hards". AS FOR MORGAN PRE EXPEDITION!! I thought a lot during the summer about how i imagine her when she was younger participating a lot in her local queer spaces(which is how she meets mariana), helping organise events and stuff, which is especially funny bcuz i imagine a lot of people clocked her as transfem but she just didn't have a clue 😭😭 she thought she was just a quirky gay man her entire life... I also imagine she tried many hobbies in her life, especially the ones that require handy work like drawing, pottery, knitting ect ect, i think she ended up enjoying these the most. I think shes the type of gal that loves the cycle actually now that i think of it. I dont think she's super sporty or anything but cycling sounds like something she'd enjoy. Anyways, thank you also for the recs!!! I've been planning to watching scavenger's reign for sooooo looong but never got to it, despite watching the first ep and really enjoying it. This is a sign to finally do it.... Never heard of harold halibut though, ill make sure to check it out, thank you!! Sending lots of love to you anon you're very sweet

[drops-of-universe]

I'm still in love with the first person I fell head over heels for. She is so gorgeous and driven and smart. She's got the most beautiful laugh and it made my heart feel warm. She had feelings for me too in the late 2010s and for a while things were looking and feeling great. However after meeting her in person, I realized that I would hold her back in life. I have severe depression and I can't even match a portion of her energy. Her ex-husband was similar to me mental health-wise and I couldn't put her through that again. She deserved an equal. Eventually I started dating someone that I felt was more "my speed" and was in an extremely toxic relationship which drove a bit of a wedge between myself and the aforementioned person. She moved on thank god and met an amazing man and I'm really happy for them. She's still one of my best friends. I am still in love with her and I'm trying not to be. I pine for an alternate reality where I was good enough for the love of my life. I feel like I had to get that off my chest and I appreciate you for reading this.

ahhh thats so cute n also simultaneously awful my friend :(( im sorry. it must be really painful to be in that position man :(( sometimes the person is right but the timing and situation just isnt. nonetheless your bond is still clearly very special, strong and rare. n even if romantic love doesnt look like its on the cards rn, you're always going to have each other in some capacity, that counts for a lot. but i get why you're frustrated and still nurturing feelinhs. maybe if its meant to be, in time you guys will grow into the people you need to be for it to work out the way you want it to. you really never know. however i think it's important that you have an honest conversation with yourself, to identify what you truly need to do about your feelings in order to positively progress and dont blame yourself on how things turned out… im sending you so much luck and warmth and i really hope you're okay

[hyunverse]

yes i do! i grew up in boston and ended up getting a rly good scholarship at a school here in nyc so i live here now :)) it’s not too bad. tbh it’s pretty much the same as boston just a little bigger. andddd what’s ironic is even tho i’m from two of the like most known cities in america, i am terrified of rodents 😭. i see them quite often in nyc but not as much in boston. no matter how many times i see them i’m still terrified of them and i am fortunate enough to not be rodent infested 🙏🏼🙏🏼. also yep teef in the muscles is the best way to do it. i want to eat minhos thighs. like chomp is an understatement for what i want to do to those thighs and i have no shame in explaining. the gods ddu du ddu performance …. that’s all i need to say

omfg what is even the point of dating someone like that ?? it’s exhausting. i agree with just wanting to do your own thing. when i was younger i always wanted to date but now i just want to be aloneeeee. i do miss aspects of being a relationship but tbh i’m fine w waiting to experience that w someone like every day yk ?

hey man technique is technique 😏. also yes hyunjin and felix hand comparison makes me crazy. ngl i’m big on size diff and hyunjin just does it for me. so tall and lankyyyyyy he’s just my type. like no joke he is my exact type all around but especially physically. nothing better than a feminine man with so much androgynous energy and duality. like it makes me insane. when i get home i want to measure my hands so i can compare mine w everyone’s. im sure it will be drastic so i will keep you posted ! how tall are you?? im 5’1 .. 😟 it’s bad ik

watch me cry at how sweet you are rn 🥲. u make me blush 🙄. i did take some earlier this morning and i’m trying to drink as much as i can (maybe i’ll purposely forget to do all of this just so you can come here but you didn’t hear that from me 😇😇😇). CONGRATULATIONS THAT IS SO AWESOMEEEEE!!!! you should be so proud of yourself and know i am very very proud of you as well <33 that is literally so amazing, hard work pays off my love 🫶🏻 that’s so awesome. if we happened to not live all the way across the world from each other i’d treat you to a delish meal but i guess our lives failed us on that one >:|. what’s ur fave food btw ? sending hugs back to ur sweet self 💗💗💗💗💗💗💕💕💕💕💕 and a happy heart attack bc u deserve it hehe

- 🐈‍⬛ much love from ur g <333

that sounds nice!! honestly, from experience, moving from one state to another is quite tough. i’ve been living in the city my entire life, but had to make an entire 180° for university life ‘cause my campus is in a village! like an entire village — on the way to my campus, there’s a sign that says, “welcome to ***** village!” good god u can imagine my terror 💀 the facilities are not bad but definite different compared to the city </3 okay i sound like a brat, don’t i? anyway! bae, i’m dead terrified of them nasty rodents too. i feel like puking at the sight of them </3 so i 💯 understand you honestly.

CHOMPING ON HIS THIGHS YEP YEP. minho needs to drop the workout routine cs god his thighs are. . . sighs dreamily. love em. wanna bite em. talking abt that performance. . . lee yongbok. i will never forget that signature ab showing move tbh. gonna show them to my kids being all like this is ur uncle felix! (get it? cs imma marry hyunjin frfr! yes pls entertain my delulu pls pls)

RIGHT i feel like my past experiences and friends’ relationships are the cause of me not wanting one </3 scared me off legit. i think imma stick to writing 🙏 why experience it rn when i can be delulu with u?

UR TYPE AND MY TYPE MUST BE THE SAME THEN CS I LOVE TALL AND LANKY MEN MMM EAT THAT GENRE UP ALL THE TIME! when they’re 90% legs and have big hands? call me up. call me up‼️that is my type right there.

yes keep me posted with the hand comparison, baby. tell me ur hand size too so i can compare with me 🙏 i’m 5’2 so we’re both not that far off HELP. short gang ig 😔

PLEASE DONT FORGET 💔 MY ANGEL I AM TOO BROKE TO FLY TO AMERICA 💔 ONE DOLLAR IS ABOUT FOUR MYR 💔 PLS TAKE CARE OF URSELF 💔 AND THANK YOU BABY!! means a lot from u hehe. i have sm fave food dang. . . it’s hard to choose. i like steak, and ramen and this malay dish u call tomyum! very yummers. also loveee hotpots. i could eat hotpot everyday of my life. and donuts!! what about yours, darling?

you make me blush too ^__^ kisses to u frm me!!

[voyeuristicvixen]

Captains Log No. 37_February;It came & went *whoosh*

Wow, wild quick photo dump because my Aquarius Square Taurus needs to do things in order and I cant post anything else until I do something with all these pics and post this lmao.

Moo.

Gigii is my soul mate 5eva! I am so grateful because we get to connect and just vibe out being mystical dreamy souls everyday. ~ Blessed

Been leveling up the mystoryyyyy! Proud of the growth every second more people creating a business and thriving and look how good this shi looks! Lucas lameth mystory foodssss. I’m obsessed.

Valentine’s day w my boo. I was so surprised when he had me pull up because he has been spendin more time on Fivem working on his server and things. Im like woaaah when did you even have time because im always tryna get you online. I was tearin up yall. He had my name up in balloons, special trees on the property, lights and gifts, he got me some boots and set up a date doing the most Sag ass thing lmaoo base jumping and skydiving.

Sexy ass... :P

Here we are on this high ass mountain in the brick ass cold about to jump lmao. I was like only this man could get me to do this. XD

Then we played w guns :)

These pictures are not synchonized in time so yea for a brief moment in time my girl Videl (Now Valentine) was living across the street from me, It was a fun cute day we had before she had to go live with her new Soro sisters to pledge but maan it was so fun! She def deserves all the space much bigger than what she had so I dont blame her for moving AT ALL. I cant wait to see her new spot though im sad we not neighbors anymore. :(

Us and our lil ones enjoying lunch and icecreaamss XD

I do enjoy riding around the mystory south sim. So chill for me when im seshing.

Wav’s rez day was such a great time, it was all our newly made friends and we got to see who’s really down with us. Blessed & grateful!

BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY ROCKIN EVERYWHEAA!

We recorded a whole episode of meta love talks and never put it out, we had this whole idea of an event that we wanted to do that we plugged and prepared application forms for and did not go through with it. . . not yet at least! That pic is from the unaired ep. XD

Lol it be like that.

Me and mini me taking produc pictures for the new cakepops for starseeds botanica! now available on marketplace:

https://marketplace.secondlife.com/stores/138024

Super proud of being able to call this gentleman my pops, and to have spent Feb hearing some important history and lessons that are going to be ingrained in my mind and spirit forever! Carter G Woodson thank you for creating black history month for us! Bless!

PANDA PANDA! Great poet, loved hearing them spit bars on the last poetry night event. New people came up that were so good and inspiring forreal!

BHM events were amazing, tap into Meroe facebook for all the pics and updates about thaaat. Wav and my dad Ras went off and it was so heartwarming to see them working and collabing together. So much more I can say about it but words aren’t enough. Grateful, grateful. Ase.

Chillen on the farm, abundance is our birthright!

Now my life is filled with ritual iw and rl, I love starseeds botanica products. I am proud of myself for creating them. Better than I imagined and just the beginning! I got so much more to create! Inshallah

One of the most synchronistic things that happened last month, I ran into the Oatsmill sisters. I was just telling Wav days before about how I saw one of Sage’s sister’s mystory shops being advertised, I didnt realize she had sisters before then. I told him how important legacy names are in that regard, because I respect Sage as an artist, creator and businesswoman I trust her family automatically. So after having this convo I am at my favorite spot in the sandbox. I literally have this particular spot saved in my favorites... and I come back from being afk and there are the Oatsmill sisters working on things nearby me.. just randomly we were all there at the same time. I had never met them inworld until that moment. It was super magickal and we connected instantly. I got to see some cool stufss and eat chicken you know Sage can COOOK! I LOVE THEM!

Salsa nights at Teranga Absinthe lounge is a vibeee, I am super happy to have connected with these beautiful black women , feb felt like faith being restored day by day. Loved it.

[memento-morian]

oh man honestly didnt think wed get past round 1 considering my irl boyfriend is an actual person and not a blorbo from media which is a disadvantage on the blorbo from media webbed site

but its also the wizard website so i shouldve also taken that into account.

BUT! WE DID IT. WE MADE IT TO ROUND 2. WHICH MEANS... MORE PROPAGANDA. once again: he is gay, trans and polyamorous.

he takes me to taco bell pretty often just cause i love baja blast and sweet lightning (our taco bell is also a kfc so i can get both from one place) and he just. did that. and when i mentioned it was a date he hadnt even thought of it like that. he was just doing it cause he knew it made me happy. he doesnt even judge me for stealing a handful of the honey packets.

my grandpas old and i take care of him and he was in the hospital not too long ago and has been having problems so john came over and helped clean the house. he even steamed the carpets. he made TWO FULL SIZE pot pies for my grandpa as well when he came home. from SCRATCH and he bought all the ingredients with his own money. he didnt have to do any of this, but he did anyway.

he and his family invited my brother to christmas and new years cause my mom had recently left (my brother is underage) and they didnt want him to be alone for the holidays. he cried about it. dont tell him i told yall he cried.

anytime i feel unsafe or uncomfortable i can call him and hes there asap and ready to defend me if needed. he makes sure my family and i are okay and helps whenever and however he can despite him not really getting anything out of it. hes just genuinely kind even if he tries to pretend hes not.

his parents got married in vegas and both of us just wandered around together and didnt do much but it was still nice. we go to the thrift store a lot for cosplay stuff and even though ive gotten a pair of boots most times weve gone he always buys them for me anyway. he takes care of everyone. always. except himself, but thats why he has me and our other partners. hes so cool and funny and he is VERY ALLERGIC TO HORSES. but he likes them anyway and wants to get a farm. hes allergic to bovines as well iirc. but he still wants to be a gay farmer. hes a great cook and as much as i love every adventure weve been on, my favorite moments are still just the quiet ones we spend in his room playing minecraft together.

when my moms husband was around a lot he was there for me and calmed me down from panic attacks. when i hurt him a lot by accident one time he still was there for me waiting with open arms. even if i didnt deserve it. he helps me make phone calls cause they give me intense anxiety and holds my hand through everything. he lets me infodump about my interests even if he doesnt understand what im talking about and is more than willing to join me in them if i ask. he brought me mtn dew when i was in the hospital which was just a small silly gesture, sure, but it made me so happy. we fostered a kitten for a few days and he named her new york mets. she was a princess and is now with a loving family but we still adore her. he has two cats (that live at his house at least, since he also shares custody of my cat rusty) named monster truck and adam and he dotes on them constantly. even if he does call monster truck a bitch. because she is a bitch. every time were at a convention and he sees a booth with beanie babies he stops and scopes and usually buys at least one and we have to drag him away or else his fixation will turn him more beast than man for the rest of the week. he also loves horror of all types and so when i saw a custom beanie baby bear called The End i got it for him with jams help for christmas and it was a little late but he was so so happy about it

also... hes an artist and hes so amazing and talented. he can draw, he can sew, he can paint and despite everything? he stays silly. just like jam, i met john at a convention. my first convention, but my first was a few years before jams first.

i was still an egg. i was cosplaying davesprite. me and my best friend at the time (who was Not Great but i hadnt realized that yet cause he was my only friend) found our way to the homestuck corner and thats where i met him. he was immediately kind. my brother got his number and eventually learned that he actually lived near us and so he started going over all the time. i generally didnt go with. johns family was dealing with A Really Big Thing at the time so he was generally busy and his parents were being overprotective. my brother, who is too social and doesnt understand when he shouldnt be the center of attention, went to his family members funeral without being invited. he didnt tell me we werent invited so i was there too.

how poetic it is that our friendship really started to grow at one of his family members funerals, and years later, not too long after we started officially dating, we went to another together. a little morbid, yes, but i think its thematic. ouroboros. i was at least actually invited this time lmao. its been 6 years since i met him??? and i wouldnt trade a minute of it. not for all the money in the world. there arent many people i could walk up to and say 'do you wanna go gem hunting with me for a full day or more?' and get an enthusiastic 'yes' from, but he will. jobs make doing that kinda thing hard ofc but if it werent for that i doubt wed be home as much as we are cause were adventurers! we climb and hike and scramble and explore and im so glad i get to adventure with him. even if the adventure is mostly just navigating adulthood.

picture of me, jam, and of course the man of the hour: John The Wizard Himself at the 100 gecs concert we went to recently.

John battle 2.14

Johnathan the wizard (real life) VS John Smith (???)

[ground-riot-jack]

Number 1 | K. Bakugou |

idk what this is man, an origin story maybe?? idk bakugou is an asshole and reader is a badass

The ratings where in, this is it, the big moment. After years of hard work and dedication, you’re finally about to find out if you made it the number Number 1 Hero Spot. You walk out on the stage with the other Top 5 heroes, one being your long term boyfriend, Bakugou. You’d been dating since highschool and worked at the same agency that he created.

“And for our number 2 Hero, we have...Ground Zero! Number 1... Angel! Thank you heroes for protecting and sacrificing your lives for us!” The announcer practically yelled at the large crowd of people.

You couldn’t believe it. You did it. You were the number 1 hero in all of Japan and your boyfriend was right behind you. The lights of the stage felt like power surging through your body. Your large white wings fluttered in excitement. You took your place at the number one podium and felt warm tears of joy stream down your face, you feel pata on your back and can hear congratulations swirling around but you can barely stand up straight.

Soon someone hands you a microphone, the crowd quieting down.

“Thank you all so much, I will work hard every single day until my body gives up to make sure this great nation is protected. I’ve worked very hard to get here so thank you all for recognizing my hard work and determination. I wanna thank Ground Zero, for being the best partner and for helping me get where I am. It won’t be easy but I will take this number 1 spot and wear it with pride. Thank you, i love you all” You spill out happily, you turn and grab onto Katsuki, hugging him and congratulating him on Number 2. You’d both climbed so high and so quickly since you’re UA days, it’s made you happy that you’ve come so far with the person you love most.

Bakugou however, didn’t look happy. It was extremely rare to see a smile on his face, but at the very least you’d expected his bored face. But now, he looked angry. He looked like he was ready to level the city withy he scowl pressed on his face.

“babe, what’s wrong? you good?” You grab his large bicep, getting him to look at you. His bright red eyes snap to yours and you feel locked in with how much animosity they hold.

“I’m ready to go home” He spits out before turning and walking back to the car you’d both arrived in.

You took a few more pictures with fans before following your grumpy boyfriend. As soon as you sat in the car, you could feel the tension thick in the air.

“Ok seriously babe, what the hell is wrong? We got the top spots, that’s amazing!” You turn towards him as the driver head back to your place.

“It’s nothing” He managed to say through his teeth with his are locked together with how tight he’s clenching his jaw.

“It’s something, you’re getting ready to blow this car up”

“I said it’s nothing, Angel” He speaks, the name oozing in malice and anger. Suddenly it clicked.

“You’re jealous that I got the number one spot while you got number two. jesus christ katsuki, could you be any more pessimistic. Why can’t you just be happy for me that i’ve reached a goal i’ve been trying to get my whole life? Number two is in no way shape or form bad.” You huff and fall back against the seat, you watch Bakugou clench and unclench his fists while staring out the window.

“I have to be number one and be better than All Might” He growls quietly, you knew it was a somewhat sensitive subject, but you couldn’t believe your ears.

“All might? Katsuki, you’re 23 years old, you can’t truly expect to be better than All Might right now? All might wasn’t even this good at this age yet, you’re way ahead of schedule. You can’t be happy for me because you wanna be better at 22 years old than All Might was in his prime? You’re delusional katsuki.”

“I HAVE TO BE NUMBER ONE”

“THATS FINE BUT WHY CANT YOU BE HAPPY THAT TOUR GIRLFRIEND IS NUMBER ONE?”

“BECAUSE IT SHOULD BE ME”

“so you think I don’t deserve this katsuki? You think what? I haven’t worked hard enough? I’m nor strong enough? I’m not good enough? WHAT IS IT KATSUKI? Why don’t I deserve to be number one? Why do you think your were unfairly judged?”

You both stared at each other in silence for a while, anger boiling into the atmosphere. You understood the only thing that drove bakugou in highschool was his need to be number one. You were both adults now, and you were in love with each other. You’d hoped that you’d made a big enough impact on bakugou that your life and love together would be enough of a motivator to be great, the way it was with you.

You felt that car pull into your large home, and immediately jumped out, racing up to your shared bedroom. You got out of your hero costume and into leggings and a tank top. You took off all your makeup and picked the confetti out of your wings. You looked up as Bakugou walked in the room.

“Im not sorry that I’m not settling for number two, I never will and you know it, but i am sorry for yelling at you and the way I acted.” Katsuki grumbled while looking at the floor. Usually, his awkward and hesitant apologies warmed your heart and made you gush at how cute your angry boyfriend was, but now you find yourself staying angry.

“That’s not an apology katsuki. You refuse to be happy for me, even though you promised you would be. You refuse to even acknowledge how much work I put into this to be number one. I am THE youngest Hero to hit number one and you can’t even say good job babe. Instead you get angry and jealous and mean because it wasn’t you. Never mind the fact that you jumped from 10 to 2 which is THE biggest jump anyone’s seen in years bakugou. You won’t even let yourself be happy at what you’ve done, because you’re too busy being jealous” You poke his chest, finally standing in front of him.

“It’s not a bad thing to want to be the best” He crosses his arms, getting defensive.

“Of course not babe, I want you to be the best too. So why don’t you want me to be the best?”

“It’s not that, it’s-“

“It’s what Katsuki?”

“I made a promise to myself-”

“YOU MADE A PROMISE TO ME KATSUKI. You gave me this fucking promise ring and told me that you you’re gonna support me no matter what. That we were gonna work hard to get to where we need to go and we were gonna do it together. You promised me you’d be by my side. That’s the difference between us babe. You need to be number one for yourself, I need to be number one for us. You’ve forgotten that” You wipe your tears and move around the tall man in your way. It hurt that Katsuki couldn’t see this was bigger than his highschool days. This was your life together. You hadn’t spoken to All Might or even Midoriya in years, so why was it so hard for him to accept you as a permanent part of his life.

“Baby, i’m sorry I just. I get one track minded and I was so hopeful that this was finally the day. I needed so bad to be number one-“

“THIS IS NO LONGER ABOUT BEING NUMBER ONE KATSUKI, THIS IS ABOUT HOW YOU CANT SEE THAT YOURE TREATING ME LIKE A SIDE CHARACTER. I AM YOUR GIRLFRIEND!! For fucks sake katsuki, we live, work, sleep, eat do and do everything together, so the fact that I’m not even one of the reasons you go out and do what you do hurts because this” You pause and gestured to everything around you. “This is the reason I wake up every morning, you are the reason I fight crime and your reason is, a childhood rivalry. You’re am adult now, you’re supposed to be friends with midoriya and all might and you’re supposed to be over this whole thing. This isn’t supposed to be the thing that drives you. I’m not saying I have to be too of the list but it would be nice to be on the list” You sigh and look at your boyfriend. You knew this wasn’t healthy to yell at each other like this, but you needed him to understand where you’re coming from.

“Baby, Of course you’re my reason for waking up and being a hero, I would do anything to protect you, it’s just I always pictured me at Number 1 with my agency and you and a family. I have a need, a primal urge to be number one and that’s never going to change. Doesn’t mean i don’t love your dumbass”

“Well I’m number one Katsuki, and I earned the hell out of it. I worked my ass off day and night for weeks and months and years so that I could have this. And to see you pout and complain and look me in my face and tell me you don’t think I deserve this spot hurts more than some cute little apology where you call me dumbass lovingly. So i’ll ask you again, why don’t you think I deserve this spot? What makes you better?” You squinted your eyes at the tall man and clench your jaw.

“Im physically stronger-“ You interrupt your boyfriend by grabbing his arm and kicking his legs out from under him, using your wings to flip him over in his back, pinning him down.

“You’re so close minded katsuki, that you don’t even know what i’ve. been doing for the past 8 months. I an the number one hero you think i didn’t train to be stronger than everyone around me?” You ask, hurt laced in your voice.

“Fine, you deserve this spot. You’re the best.”

“You dont meant that, I’m gonna make you fucking mean it Katsuki. One day you’re gonna see me and i’m gonna be the best and you’re gonna be in awe of my power and then you’ll finally see that i deserve this.” You push off of him and stand up your wings tucking close to your body.

“Just-give me a week babe. I promise I’ll make it up to you and I’ll show you I am happy for you, it’s just difficult being let down like this. I’m a sore loser and you know it.” Bakugou grabs your shoulder and pulls you close to his chest.

“You haven’t even said you’re proud of me yet. or that you love me. or even good job katsuki. You don’t believe i’m your heart that i deserve this do you?” You look at him, heart in your throat.

“I believe I should be number one. Every time.” Katsuki mutters in your hair like it was a compliment. You push him back, rage filling your body.

“You’re fucked up katsuki. I’m fucking leaving” You spit, throwing on a jacket and shoes, heading towards your front door.

“Where the hell are you going?!” Bakugou snarls as you move past him.

“Katsuki, I love you with every fiber of my soul, but right now looking at your face makes me wanna throw you across town and beat the shit out of you. I’ll be back tomorrow maybe” You mumble the last part, not really sure how long you wanna be away from your hot headed boyfriend.

“you can’t just fucking leave y/n, how do you expect to be number one of you can’t even stay and win a fight against your boyfriend.” Katsuki let’s out a dry laugh, causing you to turn away from your front door.

You lunge at Katsuki, ready to punch him until he understands you’re the number one hero. You two roll around fighting and spewing things typically reserved for villains. Bakugou pins you down on the floor, his knee on your chest and his hands holding both your wrists beside your head. You close your eyes and focus all your energy into your chest, a faint ball of white light glows from your heart. Ktsuki looks at it with realization before the energy is expelled from you and your boyfriend is sent flying across the living room.

“You did not just use Power Surge on me.” He growls. wiping the sweat from his brow.

“I did, and i’m fucking leaving and your not gonna say shit or so help me god katsuki, i will shoot a beam of light so bright and hot that you wake up blind, burnt and fucking single.” You use your wings to send you flying straight to your front door, you look back at your confused boyfriend once more before taking to the sky.

Bakugou began the cleaning process, shocked and confused. Why didn’t you understand he wants to be happy for you, he truly does, but his pride won’t let him get away with not winning. He decided to let you fly off to calm down for the night, opting to call and talk to Kirishima. The two friends ended up talking for a bit longer than expected, bakugou trying to get kiri on his side, not his girlfriends. It didn’t work however, Kirishima understood that bakugou would let his emotions cloud his mind, even when it came to you. By the end of the conversation, bakugou was almost has heated as he was while fighting you. He concluded the best option was to head to his agency and train for the night.

He arrived and decided to do some things around the office before heading to the training and workout wing of his large building. While going thru last minute files, there’s a knock on his door.

“Ground Zero, i wasn’t expecting you to be here so late.” A stranger smiles in Bakugou face as he opens his office door, his secretary smiling sheepishly.

“Who the hell are you?” He cocks his head and tries to figure it out before he’s told, one of those weird habits he’s picked up being a hero.

“My apologies. I’m Niko Takeyama, I work for the Hero Commission. How would you like to be the number one hero by this time next month.”

[ewritesthangs]

Q AND A TIME

Q and A time. Questions. And answers. Always a fun time especially with Corpse. Should be easy right? Ha! You guys veer off track more times than you can count!

"Hey guys. Y/N and Corpse here!"

"Whaddup babies." The sugar sweet sound of his raspy, gravely voice captures the hearts of many women and men. Including yours.

"That does things to me."

"Like?"

"Malfunction."

"You're functioning fine."

"I've learned to hide it well."

"Anyway, we are answering your most desirable questions. Thank you so much for participating and asking those questions. They're all great. Some were a bit weird."

"Like really guys? Toe fungus? Ew."

"Stay on topic babe." Corpse places a hand on your shoulder for emphasis.

"Okay first question. How did you and Y/N meet? We went to school together and lived next to each other."

"Then they moved. Leaving me all alone."

"I came back. Im here aren't I? Geeze."

"You're all mine now." He presses a loud kiss to your cheek. You blush and giggle, patting his cheek as he kisses you.

"My honey."

"How are you guys coping with the pandemic? Oh we are doing okay. Some days are harder than others."

"One time, Corpse was so sad, he wouldn't get out of bed. So I compromised and snuggled with him. Giving him kisses, love, attention. All the things he was craving apparently because about 2 hours later he got up and we went outside."

"She is so incredible. I can't even begin to explain my love and affection for her."

"You're such a sap. Its so sickenly sweet. Gross."

"You love it."

"I plead the fifth on that one."

"Okay next question!"

"Do you inspire each other? Deep. Yes we do. I hope I inspire Cor. He inspires me a lot. To be a better person."

"Now who is the sap?"

"Sappy questions deserve sappy reponses." You retort. Corpse just snickers.

"What is your greatest achievement together or apart? Well one of mine is blowing utogether. In such a small amount of time. Together? Hitting 3 years together."

"Holy shit its been that long?"

"Time flies baby."

"True shit right there."

"And I wouldn't-"

"Dont you dare."

"Have it any other way."

"You did it. Dammit Corpse. Sappyness."

"Sappy questions deserve sappy responses." He mocks with a smirk.

"You-you just used my line against me?"

"You do it to me all the time."

"Fair point."

You guys continue on, taking some live questions as well.

"How have you, Y/N, coped with Corpses medical issues? I stand right beside him, make sure he does his diet correctly and support him. If a flare-up happens we do immediate action. When he does to get his throat looked at, im holding his hand in the waiting room and waiting for him when he gets out. I listen to the doctors intently so I can be well informed."

"She seriously is the best. I can't even begin to describe the gratitude I have for her being there every little step of the way."

"Anything for the man I love." You two kiss, a cute sweet kiss to each others lips.

"I love you too."

"Oh thank God. I thought you kept me around cause I cleaned so well."

"That too."

"I knew it." You whisper loud enough for everyone to hear. Corpse pats your head.

"One more question."

"When are you guys getting married? Eventually. We hopefully will."

"Wellllllllllllll. I was going to wait until our anniversary."

"Wait what?"

"Get married on our anniversary. So I don't have to remember more dates."

"Lazy ass giving me a heart attack."

"You said the same thing when we talked about it."

"Thats besides the point here Cor."

"Well thats it for now folks! Thank you so much for following and supporting me and Y/N. We love you and can't wait to update you in a few months."

"Bye guys! Love yourself and then love others! We love you!" Corpse turns the livestream off and sighs heavily, tired from all the talking and laughing. "Wanna head to bed baby?"

"I want to do something first."

"As in?"

"Come with me." He gets up and takes your hand. You follow him to the balcony. The moon and a few stars were shining in the sunset.

"Wow. What beauty."

"I was hoping for the perfect sunset moment to do this."

"Do what? Oh my god." Corpse was getting down on one knee. A ring box in his hand. Unopened. He opens it, and you see a beautiful ring of your favorite metal and your birthstone. You audibly gasp. Tears flowing freely down your cheeks. Your hand was covering your mouth that was ajar.

"I love you more than life itself. You give me hope. You love me and support me and I want nothing more than for you to be my wife. Will you, Y/N Y/M/N, marry me?"

"Oh my God, YES CORPSE!" you can't contain your excitement for you just got engaged! You were jittery with love and happiness. His lips curl into a smile as he slips the ring onto your finger. He stands up and pulls you into his embrace before kissing you deeply, so deeply it almost knocks you out. Butterflies and stars dance around your head. You truly loved this man with all your heart. And now you're marrying him.

"You just made me the happiest man in the world."

"You're telling me. Oh my God were getting married!" You grab his face and peck his lips again. "Holy shit. How did you?"

"I crafted it online while you were away for that week." He smirked.

"You never seize to amaze me."

"Wait until you see where our honeymoon is gonna be."

"What!? Where?!"

"Tune in next year for when we get married. You'll find out after the wedding."

"I hate the suspense."

"I love you."

"I love you more."

"Forever."

"And ever."

[nct-lian]

relationships outside of sm

JENNIE + LIAN: JENLI

so iconic omg like how they do it, i have no idea

they hang out all the time and lian is literally ALWAYS on jennie’s instagram

the two of them once had an instagram story conversation over pigtails

like,, jennie posted a picture of lian’s pigtails for that one bicycle performance on her story and captioned it “pigtail baby” and then lian reposted it on her own story with a picture of jennie’s pigtails, captioning it “pigtail eomma”

speaking of eomma, jennie is genuinely her mother

jennie takes her shopping all the time

and in return, lian buys her food

the interactions these two used to have at award shows were SO CUTE

everyone remembers when jennie pretty much yelled out lian’s name and she just came running over to the members of blackpink after taeyong let her leave :(

i’m crying just thinking about it help

jennie also posted a full on instagram post for lian on her birthday and had such a sweet caption with it

it was something like “my daughter is finally 21 today! i hope she has an amazing day and i can’t wait to see her later tonight to give her a gift :) haneullie, lots of love from jennie eomma”

SPEAKING OF THE GIFT,, jennie bought her a whole ass $9000 necklace from chanel because she knew that lian was looking for more

IM IN TEARS AND SO ARE YOU ADMIT IT RN

jenli kpop bestest duo

dispatch once thought jennie was on a date with a girl but it turned out to just be her walking lian home after going shopping with her so they never posted anything about it

they were embarrassed they got something wrong so i get it

omfg when news came out that lian and jinwoo broke up mama jennie was threatening to punch the shit out of him

KEVIN + LIAN: LIMOON

what i’ve been waiting to write for so long okay here we go

so mf chaotic like there are compilations made of these two that scream “go crazy go stupid”

their time as guest mc’s for inkigayo was probably some of the best kpop content we’d gotten in a long ass time

KEVIN IS CAUTIOUS WHEN LETTING HER MEET HIS MEMBERS

cause she’s such a good friend to him and wtf why would he wanna share

“mine mine mine mine��� constant dory vibes 24/7

lian thrives off of calling him by his korean name because she knows it annoys him

he’s constantly teasing her for having bagged milk in toronto so he deserves it

the one time lian and jacob talked to each other they seemed to be getting along too much for kevin’s liking so he really went:

“okay lian isn’t it time for you to go” because he WAS GETTING JEALOUSJCLSJX

their styles are pretty much complete opposites and everytime they take pictures together kevin never forgets to mention how off it all looks

“tf is that why are your clothes so boring”

“okay sNaKe pAnTs” because of that one eric moment on kpop daebak show where he said kevin had pants with snakes on them

ALSO BTW LIANS CLOTHES ARENT FUCKING BORING SHES JUST FANCY LIKE THAT

i’m getting heated let me calm down.

they normally speak in english to each other but since lian seems to be stuttering over her words when she isn’t speaking korean, he mixes in a few korean phrases every now and then to help her out

kevin is arguably the most hype every single time lian performs, like he really thinks there isn’t anything better

LIAN MAKES SURE TO UPDATE HER INSTAGRAM STORY WHENEVER TBZ HAVE A COMEBACK SO NCTZENS GO SUPPORT THEM

LIA + LIAN: LILIA

more lian x the canadian line WOOHOO

lia spent her trainee days really looking up to lian and she’s even mentioned before that she’d love for itzy to get the chance to collab with her for a song

she really has her fingers crossed for that btw

they actually met during an award show when ryujin, chaeryeong and yuna all had to leave because it was past curfew

lian decided to sit next to them and during all the intermissions between performances she, lia and yeji conversed to pass time

they ended up growing a friendship together but lian has a stronger bond with lia

she loves all the girls either way but yk

lia and lian love going to cafes together and taking adorable pictures :(

like whenever lia posts on itzy’s instagram midzeys don’t exactly know whether or not lian would be on it too :0

like lian normally posts all the scenery pictures she gets to keep her instagram pleasing whereas lia posts the pictures the two of them take together

my heart </3

lian treats lia like a whole daughter because it isn’t often she finds girls that are younger than her

*screams in the fact that majority of sm’s female artists are all from 2015 and under*

like when i say lian SPOILS her i’m not joking

she will randomly call lia up like:

“hey i’m gonna get you out of that dungeon, come get some chicken with me”

and then they’ll just hang out together

but only if lian is out of the dungeon herself because wbk she ain’t treated very well </3

EUNWOO + LIAN: WOOLI

their chemistry is fucking insane holy shit

like their acting for past to present was seriously so praised, netizens found it hard to believe it was all just for the show

dating rumours follow these two everywhere,, like everywhere

it’s one of the most popular ships inside ncity when it comes to lian and other idols

i kid you not one tweet said “chanhyeok treated jihye so well in past to present, i’m only wondering how well eunwoo would treat lian 👀”

LIKE STOP PUTTING IDEAS INTO PEOPLES HEADS YOURE KILING ME HERE ISTG

but yeah they do look really good together

and they’re an amazing pair for acting

when eunwoo started working with inyeop for true beauty, he said:

“hyung’s dating my girlfriend” because of the fact that both of them have acted with lian and BOTH of them dated her in the dramas

what a coincidence though

we all cried when we saw chanhyeok and jihye kiss for the first time DONT LIE

EUNWOO FOLLOWS HER ON INSTAGRAM

and they wished each other happy birthday on their instagram stories

there’s actually people who like to think that they dated while filming for past to present andddd they radiate big delulu vibes

like you know liskook shippers? wooli shipped are kinda the same, but not as intense (thank god)

BUT CAN WE BLAME THEM LIKE THEIR CHEMISTRY? THE WAY THEY TALKED TO EACH OTHER? PLEASE

they took a lot of cute pictures together behind the scenes (ノ﹏ヽ)

MOMO + LIAN: LIMO

DANCER DUO DANCER DUO

this ship isn’t actually as popular as we would like it to be, but nonetheless people love limo

a lot of interactions during award shows !!

like for example momo’s fancams always captured her dancing perfectly to lian’s choreo

and lian smiling in momo’s direction

i love them

when lian found out about heechul and momo’s relationship, she asked momo if she was her mom now because of how much of a father figure she considers heechul to be JDFJK

“i mean sure”

they’ve actually done a vlive together before (ᗒᗨᗕ)

it was when lian visited her at the twice dorms and they ended up getting bored so they decided to do a vlive in the living room

THEY PLAYED DARE OR DARE AND LIAN HAD TO DO THE TEARS CHALLENGE (so chan whee) ON MOMOS KARAOKE MACHINE

her throat was dry for the rest of the night

after seeing momo’s hair for the i can’t stop me era, lian actually wanted to cut it like that

but she decided against it because she loves her long hair too much

the two of them met on hit the stage where they competed against each other in a freestyle dance battle

after that they just started casually talking over the phone and became great friends

with the way momo talks about lian, you’d think they’re dating-

“oh, lian- she’s so pretty! i love her a lot!”

and the same goes for lian, she loves talking about momo’s dancing skills

JACKSON + LIAN: JACKLIAN

her dad :/

adopted her with amber liu like a year ago so now she’s just his daughter

supports each other like crazy not even joking

jackson promotes her on instagram and twitter 24/7

THEY HAVE SO MANY INTERACTIONS THANK GOD

lian was once given a ridiculously short dress while attending an award show and jackson gave her his jacket to wear over her legs because she wasn’t provided a blanket :(

(keep in mind, she went there without the members!)

lian added all his music to her playlist :)

once got drunk together and spent like three hours doing karaoke but it’s okay cause it was fun

speaking of getting drunk, jackson’s the cool dad that lets her do whatever she wants

he has his protective moments where he’s like “ma’am where are you going on that short of a dress” but he’s also like “hey wanna go get chicken and soju”

they both appeared on a radio show together as guests and they ruined the whole broadcast because they were too loud

like they kept getting out of their seats to go wave at all the fans outside the window and they were just fighting back and forth about whether or not lian’s extensions look real

according to jackson, they’re “NOT AUTHENTIC ENOUGH- LOVE YOUR HAIR FOR WHAT IT IS, LIANNA HANEUL BAE.” lian’s hair lives matter :/

PLSSS WHEN HYOSEOP AND LIAN STARTED DATING- no

jackson was so proud that his good friend was smooching his other good friend but the protective dad instincts really kicked in

“break her heart and you die no cap”

was surprisingly chill when they broke up though, he was just glad lian didn’t cry

SUNMI + LIAN: SUNLI

SUNMI IS HER MOM OHMYGOD

so many interactions

honestly took lian under wing once she debuted as a soloist

female kpop soloists gotta have each other’s backs in this industry man :(

sunmi calls lian her princess SOBS

lian always hugs sunmi at award shows, like if they’re sitting close together

or if they’re standing next to each other on stage

you bet your ass lian is gripping onto sunmi for dear life

did a photoshoot together for marie claire korea

they’re so hot bro

BUT THEY FIRST MET ON WEEKLY IDOL NOT LONG AFTER LIAN DEBUTED AS A SOLOIST

they were kinda awkward ngl uh

but by the end of it they were besties :DD

and they’ve been besties ever since

lian is the ceo of doing dance covers for sunmi’s songs

cmon lian we’re waiting for tail 👀

sunmi has actually met lian’s grandma </3

like her and lian were hanging out at the dorms while the boys were out on a schedule and her grandma just randomly showed up with homemade food so that was definitely a win

BANG CHAN + LIAN: LICHAN

they’ve been friends for a LOOONGGG time

and chain’s known her since dating back to like, smrookies era when lian was still a red velvet member

like at that time she had no idea he existed, but he was keeping up with her daily :(

chan plays her music on vlives all the time and he always knows the dance moves

like he just dances along in his chair and mumbles the lyrics

we love to see it

a lot of fans ship them together

SURPRISE SURPRSIE AH

only because chan gives off big pining energy

lian only looks at him like “:D” whereas he looks at her like “♡•♡”

kinda sad but

lian promotes him on live so often HVKSVU

“my friend chan is coming back with his group soon, you should check it out! :)”

and the way she just says “my friend chan” LIKE ITS SO OBVIOUSLY A FRIENDZONE BUT HE THINKS ITS ADORABLE

he once got a comment on a vlive to react to lian moments, obviously complying because who wouldn’t

there was this one clip of her saying “my friend chan from stay kids!” and whoever edited the compilation added in squishy noises right after while zooming in on her face

AND CHAN BLUSHED SO HARD NOO

“oh- hahaha, uhh, she’s so cute aw hahahah”

ASHLEY + LIAN: ASHLI

oh god not another lian x mom ship

ASHLEY LOVES LIAN WOAH

like she’s submitted lian’s resume to bm so many times so they could be part of the big tiddie committee together

ashley is constantly, and i mean constantly, reposting all of lian’s posts on her story with captions like “LOOK AT HER GO”

and lian has even discovered all the cool instagram filters because of ashley, and now we get the quality content from her that WE DESERVEEEEE

back when lian’s album came out, all ashley’s story really was was just screenshots of her streaming all the songs and calling them bops

when they first met in person after texting back in forth, ashley spammed her instagram story with pictures of lian that she took without her looking

these two radiate a lot of “YES GIRL WORKKK ITTT TURN THIS WAY OKAYYY POSE POSE POSE” energy

lian’s been featured in one of ashley’s youtube videos and it was when they met for the first time :)

they exchange a lot of gifts through the mail

like lian once found a mug when shopping with doyoung and she thought that it would fit ashley’s taste so she sent it to her apartment

and ever since then they just send random little gifts to each other’s houses

it’s so cute

MATCHING BUCKET HATS THEY HAVE MATCHING BUCKET HATS !!!!!!

ashley talks about lian all the time

she always says that for someone so young, she’s accomplished a lot and she’s really proud of her

they wanna do tiktoks with each other but they never have the time </3

lian spam comments on ashley’s instagram like “WOAH” “OKAYYYY” “YESYESYES”

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: January 28th, 2021 (Part 2)

Here we’ve got asks that aren’t to ask a question but are just really nice messages. Thank you all for sending us such kind comments ;v;. It’s seriously heartwarming to see so many people having good experiences with the game. I don’t even know what to say to such sweet responses.

We’ll keep doing our best and thank you again to each and every one of you for giving Our Life a chance ❤!

Hello! I've been following this account and have been following the development of 'Our Life' for a few months now, and I just wanted to say thank you for all your hard work and dedication you have put into the game. It astonishes me how much choice you have during the sequence of Our Life and am excited to play the full version now, I am downloading it as I write this message. I've had a great time seeing the demo transition into to the full game and just wanted to write two words. Thank you.

Anhhhhffbgdfbhujk!!! Congratulations on the release, I’m playing the game right now! Thank you all for your hard work and I can’t wait for the Step 3 DLC to come out, I’ll probably wait for the Step 3 DLC to come out to experience everything, but until then, I still have a lot to play. Thank you once again!

finished my first playthrough just now. it just felt so wholesome ??? 100/10 would do it again. i laughed. i cried. i got angry. i felt second-hand embrassment— i got so into it i was left in literal tears after getting my first ending. the art, the storyline, the music, and COVE HOLDEN– UGH IT WAS LITERAL PERFECTION ❤ THE WAIT WAS WORTH IT. THANK YOU FOR MAKING SUCH AN AMAZING GAME 🥺😭 this made my 2020 better, i can't wait for step 4 in 2021 ❤❤

So I was following you guys on itchio for years and uhh did I stay up til 6 am on a school night to finish the game? Yes. Did I sob my eyes out during step 3 as a 20 year old having doubts about life and adulthood? Absolutely. I can't form proper sentences right now due to lack of sleep but just wanted to say thank you for making it. I honestly feel lighter and I feel like it changed my views on future to be more optimistic... I can't wait to replay it! Thanks again!

I love how Our Life turned out!! I keep replaying it and can't stop squeaking and giggling!! Thank You for creating it ♥

okay i have actually fallen in love with cove and cannot WAIT to marry him 😭

Hi! I played through 'Our Life' yesterday and  I just wanna say how refreshing it was to be able to have Cove be 'high initiative' and also have so many opportunities to initiate affection from the player character! As a pretty flirtatious/affectionate person myself, I notice that a lot of VNs don't give players that agency, and affection can be kinda 'carrot on a stick' if that makes sense. You guys did an awesome job! I look forward to seeing if there are more of those moments in Step 3 & 4 :)

I have to say I was pleasantly surprised by the option to choose Cove's level of initiative in step 3! As much I love the option to choose I personally enjoy have the romanced character take the lead without my input so when I got to step 3 and had to option to make it so that Cove initiated affection without as much input from me I was really happy! You guys seriously added so much freedom in terms of choices, it's almost baffling that the only thing you have to pay for is optional DLC!

I absolutely loved everything about the game and I really want congratulate the team for making the game such a satisfying experience.

I look forward to step 4

❤️❤️❤️❤️

* and sorry for my bad English

Just finished my first play through and I loved it! I've been looking forward to the game and it definitely was worth the wait. Thank you all for your hard work and can't wait for the extra dlc!

Till then, hope you guys gets some well deserved rest🤗

Love you guys, thank you so much for your hard work. :)

Ok, so I just finished Our Life and, wow. I have never cried at a video game before, ever. Thank you so, so much! Its one of my favorites.

this isn't a question, but i just wanted to say how much i enjoyed our life 🥺 i've been patiently looking forward to the full game for a few months now, and i couldn't be happier with it! i've only played through it once so far but the outcomes of the choices i made were all so soft and wholesome 💗 i can tell that everyone who was involved really worked hard and you all did an incredible job! i can't wait to see what else is in store 👍

i’d just like to say how addictive our life is!!! i constantly played it during quarantine and now playing the full release is so amazing to me!! i love that i’m still discovering dialogue bits with different personalities and actions!!! i have to admit that i’ve been wishing the day to pass faster all day during school so i could go home and play again. mentally i’m not the healthiest and our life being released has boosted it up so much, thank you for creating such an amazing game!!!!!

Hey, I just wanna say I played our life two times and it still give me the same feelings. I was really looking forward to this game before it came out and I kept on replaying the demo. This game is such an amazing experience and I feel so happy playing it. I am not really a person good with words unfortunately but I do honestly love this more than anything in the world. Thank you for making it and I hope that you will continue to make more games like our life. This game really makes me happy and I can't thank you enough

Just wanted to say that Our Life really made me feel seen as an 18 year old trans man who's been struggling with change as of late and I can't thank you guys enough for it. I just finished the main story and currently released DLC's and gosh, I can really only say... woah. Just, woah. The messages are somehow exactly what I needed to hear right now, and they brought me a lot of comfort in this really weird and confusing time in my life. Can't wait to see what comes next in this lovely story <3

I am honestly in love with Our Life. The graphics, the soundtrack its just *chef's kiss* It was so worth the wait for it. I can't wait for step 4. Keep up the good work GB Patch!

good people i have just finished Our Life and let me say, it was beautiful. rarely have such non-fantastical moments (and even some fantastical moments) brought me to tears like this game has, and i don't even have the dlc (yet). i don't know how you did it but it felt like i was playing a slice of life anime. i had waited with baited breath to play this since i played the demo and my expectations were not just met but surpassed. from the bottom of my heart thank you for this game

I found the game by chance and I am so so glad I did. It’s so inclusive and made me feel so incredibly seen. Seeing that my gender identity and sexuality were possible just meant the absolute world to me. I’ve never seen something like this and it just made me so incredibly happy. Thank you for the absolutely amazing game and I can’t wait to see what’s next.

Hello! I downloaded Our life earlier this week and I'm only now getting the chance to play it (Very busy and stressful week) I'm so excited to play and I wanna say thank you for making this adorable game!

I just finished my first playthrough of Our Life and I can't even express how much I love it. Cove is absolutely precious and has killed me several times, and the art and soundtrack is beautiful. I love all the small different choices. I'm very interested in the Derek and Baxter DLCs and the rest, can't wait!!!!!!

thank you for "Our Life Beginnings & Always" it has to be one of the best visual novels i ever have played and i just dont want it to end (i know it will, but damn it! i want to have a wedding night, have children and die of old age with cole! XD) when i play it it always makes me tear up (in a good way) and i am most definetly going to buy all the dlc that you make! thank you for this lovely game and all the work that went into it! (ps: i also loved "lake of voices" )

You guys are incredibly talented and im very proud of you all! You've really outdone yourselves w/ OL and i cant wait to see whats next to come for you all :)

i really love that you can be trans in Our Life! not a lot of games do that so i just wanted to say thank you!

Guuyyss!! I just wanna say! Thank you sm for the headscarf option in the MC creator! I especially loved that little detail where MC quickly slips the headscarf on before greeting Cove, I've never felt so immersed :'D Not that the rest of the game wasn't immersive btw, but since I wear my hijab most of the time that little addition really felt like something I would do! So thank you for that <3

I've been watching "Our Life: Beginnings & Always" development for quite some time, and I gotta say its wild to see it finally release. Its so unique in the way relationships work- even character creation. I've cried multiple times over this game while playing. I can't thank y'all enough for a game with these kind of mechanics, and representation. its rare I get to feel im really playing as myself in games like these. Everyones outdone themselves. this'll certainly be one I keep coming back to.

I've been following the development of Our Life from way back when the first demo dropped and it still blows my mind how many choices and customizations there are (love that update for the MC's bedroom btw!) and the fact that the game remembers them - it really feels like your very own coming of age story! I was so immersed I cried at the end :') Can't believe I experienced this game for free lol. I can't wait for future DLCs and Step 4! Good luck with all your upcoming projects dev team!!

Just wanted to say I love Our Life and I'm thankful it exists. Thank you so much! I love the little world you created and all the people in it. Especially Cove! This game makes me so happy!

Just poping in to say hi and that ilu guys ^^, remember to take care of yourselves!

Hi!! I just wanna thank you for creating such an amazing game. Our Life is one of the few dating sims I’ve found that let’s me be a male mc, it’s really hard to find dating sims that let me be gay. Our Life is my new favorite dating sim to just sit down and playthrough whenever I’m having a bad day so I just wanted to let y’all know how much I appreciate all you’ve done. 🤍

Fan from australia here

Just wanted to reach out and let you know how important this game has been to me. I came across it at a really rough time ( that I’m still going through ) and it’s been one of the things that’s driven me to get up and out of bed sometimes.

This game and cove both hold a very special place in my heart and I can’t wait to see more of him in the DLC and Step 4

Much love ♥️

I know this isnt exactly the main focus of the game, but i really love how we can customise the mc personality wise! This is the first time i've played a game like this where the mc actually does and says exactly what I would do and say in certain situations and its such a breath of fresh air!! It's also so cool how the other characters can pick up on it!!

Cove Holden saved 2020 (my 2020 anyways) I would die for him

Sorry for this being out of the blue, but after playing through Our Life I wanted to thank you for the experience. I don’t know if I’ve ever played a game that has made me cry happy tears TWICE lol. It’s beautiful, scenic, inclusive, and absolutely amazing..have a great rest of 2020 and I honestly cannot wait for the rest of it :,) (ps. The ending song is stuck in my head)

I think you guys might've ruined visual novels for me forever. I'm not sure I'll be able to play another without comparing it to Our Life and I know if I do that I'll be disappointed every time because of how amazing it is. I bought the DLCs before playing the base game it's one of the best impulsive purchases I've ever made

Thank you so much for making our life! It's my favorite visual novel ever and I just can't articulate how much being able to just be honest with my responses instead of going for whatever would make the love interest happy means to me? I reccomended it to evry friend I have that plays visual novels because this is the best one I've ever played!

Just wanted to say that I absolutely adore this game! The childhood friends tropes is my favorite thing and this game delivers! Cove is the sweetest thing, infact all the boys are good boys. Super excited for all upcoming dlcs!

Hi, I just want to thank you for making such an amazing game like Our Life. Tbh, I was following the game’s development for a while, but me and my family moved away from my childhood town just a few days before release, so I really connected to this game. You all did amazing!

hey just wanted to know that i completely loved ol: b&a and it was so good and love cove more than i’ve liked any fictional character, it’s now my comfort media. thank you so much

hi i just wanna say i really enjoyed all of the representation in our life b&a! there were characters with a lot of different body shapes, pic characters, lgbtq+ characters, and you get to choose your own pronouns and sexuality!!! so tysm!!

This isn't a question, I just wanted to say that Our Life is incredible. Ever since I finished it, I've been looking for other visual novels to play so I don't play OL so often that I start memorizing the lines before all the DLC comes out, but I keep coming back to it. It's really one of a kind, I think you all ruined other visual novels for me because I haven't enjoyed another VN like I have this one since I read it ❤.

i think our life b&a is the first game where i felt like cove loved me, not the character i play as which is really nice for someone with kinda low self esteem so THANK YOU

I’ve been playing Our Life practically nonstop since yesterday. I just want everyone who worked on it to know how much the LGBTQ inclusivity means to me. As a closeted trans ace guy in an unsupportive household, I can’t emphasize how much of a comfort this game has been to me. Everything about it is so wholesome and heartfelt. I’m excited to see what other games you make in the future 💙

- A demibiromantic ace transgender man who may or may not have cried over the option to be myself in a game for the first time ever

Csn i just say i really appreciate how you handled MC deciding to use they/them at different stages. Mainly because alot of games don't pay much attention to the body the mc was assigned at birth if they player chooses nonbinary like it does with male/female. And it was just nice to be able to play an mc who just thought gender was kinda 'meh' for them but still felt good about the body they were born with (like myself). I guesd it boils down I'm really appreciative of the hard work it must've taken for you to make all those options possible & still have them matter.

I just wanted to thank you all for Our Life. My mental health hasn't been in a good place recently and it has become my favorite form of escapism/way to cheer up. It's idyllic setting and fantastic characters are such a good way to wind down, I love it. Also, I've been dreading 2021 due to classes starting and general stress, but the DLC and your next project have given me something to actually look forward to :). I'm so excited for them and now I actually have a reason to be happy that it's 2021. Sorry if this message is a bit weird, I just wanted to thank the team for their hard work and for creating something so incredible <3

I've gotta say this is one of the most repayable games I've ever played, if not the most. Usually after i do a playthrough or two of a game i have to wait awhile before playing again otherwise it feels stale. But i haven't had that problem with our life because of the sheer ammount of player agency. Everyone who works on tbe game should feel incredibly proud of themselves because you've created something amazing.

I just wanted to say thank you for Our Life. I'm sure you get this a lot, but it really pulled me out of a mentally tough spot in my life. So thank you.

who needs therapy when you have our life: beginnings and always? haha no but seriously this game is my comfort game, and even though i can’t join your patreon at the moment please know i am always supporting you and i am so excited to see everything you have in store! everyone who works on the games is so so talented

All DLCs have nice content. 😡😡

And I love them all!!💗💗💗💖💖💖💕💕💕

[moo-nstone]

eva? can u do placement for they role in school

as in, what are their roles in school? i don’t know but i suppose i could do my experience with the signs in school 

so i was the capricorn who never studied but got the best grades and teachers either loved me or hated me for that. i was also really bad at paying attention, i did a lot of shit in the middle of classes but when it was the classes i loved which were history and philosophy i paid a lot of attention and was very participative in the classes, i was the annoying teachers’ pet on those classes LMFAO bitches hated me because i treated those two teachers like they were my mothers. 

aquarius people were the most entertaining in class. there were two twins who who were aquariuses and they were absolute geniuses but they didn’t care for school at all, like me they were just nailing it somehow without studying and they would do the most preposterous shit and get away with it. as in, start screaming in the middle of class, getting into fights, insult the teachers but they somehow got away with it because everyone viewed them as angels. 

when i got into highschool, in the first class of philosophy i was so drawn to this aquarius girl that we immediately plotted to fake me being sick and she pretended to take me to the infirmary to help me but we just spent the next hour talking about random shit. we got very close after that and we kept plotting our way through highschool 

come to think of it, i had sexual tension with a lot of aquariuses i don’t know what it was but every time i befriended one, the whole school thought we were dating. this one time there was this aquarius man i was close to and we started pretending we were cousins while he grabbed my ass and everyone got TERRIFIED of us the rumours immediately stopped LMFAO 

sagittarius were.... the worst influences. i had no hope of paying attention when they were close to me lmfao they would persuade me into the worst shit and i did it in the name of entertainment. in our first class together in highschool, the teacher got so pissed she was like “if anyone wants to leave they’re free to, i won’t mark you as absent” and this sag girl just smirked at me and next thing i know we’re walking out the class with the teacher super :0 bc she didn’t expect anyone to leave and we thought we were bad bitches for doing that. we weren’t, that’s so disrespectful. spoiler alert, that teacher made our life living hell for the next year. eventually i made the teacher fall in love with me and she ended up giving me a grading much higher than i deserved. anyway me and the girl would start doing instagram livestreams during class, start napping together, skip class to go visit other highschools and doing dumb shit and yes, sags are so fun to be around but they’re way too fun i get carried away easily 

aries were..... my enemies. i didn’t really care for grades at all but i swear they awoke my most vicious competitive skills. me and this aries man became best friends and wouldn’t leave the other’s side but we would constantly get into competitions to see who was best. we had a love-hate thing going. we would nit-pick at each other a lot but whenever the teachers would separate us from each other we would get separation anxiety and start doing facetime calls during class trying not to get caught by the teacher 

scorpios were my ride or dies! even when me and my bestie got into different courses in highschool, we would always be there for each other. i’ll always remember this one time where i got out of a geometry test and i SUCKED at geometry and i was pretty sure i was going to fail, and she was on the bathroom pooping and i just entered the bathroom and i was crying on the floor holding her hand while she pooped and cried from stomach pain. that’s my energy with scorpios right there and why i want to marry one 

geminis were either the worst or best bitches i’ve ever met! there was this girl who immediately liked me and adopted me, she was really popular but as soon as her friends started liking me she shunned me out, started spreading rumours around that i was a whore who made out with someone else on every class break (i was a virgin. now im a whore but that’s a different story) and put a whole school against me. it was weird because she hated me but couldn’t live without giving me attention, she wouldn’t ever stop talking about me. with my pisces mars ass you know i didnt openly confront her, i started wishing bad things on her and watched her life crumble into pieces. but now im not proud of that 

but there were also some really amazing geminis, particularly the ones with gemini mercuries, we’d always have so much in common and have the best most stimulating conversations. we also tended to have friendships where we were very protective of each other 

libras were oddly territorial with me i dont know whats up with that, perhaps it’s because of my descendant in libra but they barely knew me yet swore to protect me and defend me from anyone who tried fucking with me. one of them just stopped me in the highway to tell me “every time i look at you i feel like life’s worth living”. they tended to be the typical charming fuckboys with a drug addiction, having conversations with them would always be somewhat uncomfortable because they were very big on psychoanalysis and im very big on remaining unknown. they had anger issues for days, but they had a sort of family feel to them 

okay rn im sleepy so i’ll end it here 

[stoatwashere]

shoutout to the guy who's apparently my boyfriend who has showed up in 2 dreams of mine like 1-2 months ago and even tho he doesnt exist he never seems to be able to leave my mind

ight anw here are bulletpoints abt him bc im a simp and proud

- hates getting wet in the rain but danced in the rain with me

- gives the warmest hugs i swear he's an actual human heater

- how does you has the softest and best smelling hoodies

- who likes to boop my nose when i get grumpy

- i hate my nose its an insecurety + he loves my nose its his fav thing abt me = chaos

- whenever i use his hoddies i got sleeve paws bc its so big, which leads to him tying the sleeves together as he jst stares at my nose and boops the living crap out of it

- also hugs me whenever the sleeves are tied bc that way i cant escape

- his hugs last so long

- im melt in hug

- also clings onto me like a koala

- i do that to him too so im not complaining

- who has the actual best sister in the entire world stan her for clear skin

- who's mom makes thE BEST chocolate soufles

- whos dad makes the best like stew or whatever i swear it tastes so amazing words cannot describe-

- who has the most handsome accent ive ever heard

- who literally his voice is softer than room temperature butter

- who's love language is a mix of quality time, gifts and acts of service

- which may i say mans spoils the living shit out of me

- like he literally showers me in gifts like brO I DONT DESERVE THESE LIKE REFUND THEM AND INVEST THE MONEY OR STH

- i envy how soft your hair is like- ajdhsjkf my gosh

- pls he took me out on my dream date like- im gonna cri

- is a cat person and has 2 rescue kittens he found abandoned in a box at the side of the pavement while we were having a walk in an open field

- he took me to a lavender field and just- picnic date. pls i will cry he made brownies w his mom's signature recipe- sdhsfhsf im in love

- he insists on feeding me almost everything that i will consume bc he likes babying me bc im shorter than him-

- like oKAY I GET IT UR OVER 6 FT (6 ft is 182cm btw)

- some how found my fav flowers and gifted a bouquet of them to me on a normal day jUST BECAUSE

- LIKE IT WASNT AN ANNIVERSSARY OR BDAY OR LIKE ANY FUCKING THING HE JST GAVE THEM TO ME bECaUsE???

- like bro deutzia flowers are rare ;-;

- he grew deutzia in his greenhouse ever since then bc theyre pretty hard to find and bc i like deutzia

- pls im so soft

- i liked to hang out in his greenhouse a lot bc it was jst so aesthetically pleasing and the environment was jst so serene and calming

- also the kittens likes to hang out there too and its just always so pretty

- i liked to read there and do like homework and assignments there or jst hangout and stroll around

- sO HE FRIKING MADE THIS ONE AREA JST FOR ME TO CHILL IN???

- LIKE HE SET UP A CHAIR N LIKE COFFEE TABLE THERE FOR ME???

- JUST BECAUSE???

- LIKE HELLO???

- literally everyone i knew hardcore approved of him and liked him as my bf sm i swear i-

- in these dreams (fuck why must this be a dream) i lived in london and so did he (we dont live together)

- my parents didnt live in london bc they live in my native country, his parents live in london tho (but like he doesnt live w em he lives alone as do i)

- hIS PARENT WOULD BE LOWKEY UPSET IF HE VISITS AND I DONT COME WITH HIM

- LIKE ONE TIME HE CAME UP TO ME AND SAID HIS PARENTS SAID THEY MISSED ME AND TOLD HIM TO BRING ME NEXT TIME???

- I- I WAS HAVING EXAMS IM SORRY-

- speaking of exams dude he's so supportive

- like i was studying once and he jst sat there ready to tutor me whenever i needed

- he read my textbooks and studied them jst so he can help me if i needed help T-T

- also his fashion taste was *cheffs kiss*

-yea thats the end of this idk why or how i remember this much (not complaining tho)

- idek his name or face *cries*

- but i do remember that he's a brunette with wavy soft hair and has heterochromia (yknow the diff eyecolours)

- like his eyes are the most gorgeous shades of brown and green ive ever seen

- im in love with someone who doesnt exist bye-

oh and btw writers you are all welcome to use any of these as your writing prompts (jst give credit pls thanks <3)

[duckieeart]

Victor’s - Moody Date

Hello! This is my entry for @little-butterfly-writes ‘s Contest . It’s my first time writing and I really enjoyed the process of it, enjoy reading this date!

Fandom: MLQC - Victor Li x Duckie (Mc)

Genre : jealousy jealousy jealousy , comfort , Filled with romance ( fluff)

Word count : 3,309

As If its not obvious enough to everybody.

I have feelings towards my boss, victor Li. I did fall in love with a person that I know i can’t reach even if i had him in my wildest dreams. I all i am wishing for is that no one know about these hidden feelings hoping that i will be able to maintain the decision i took and forget about him, But unfortunately things goes unplanned after I experienced certain feeling. jealousy .

If Kiki , Anna , the rest of my friends and colleagues found out about my secret feelings including the letters I wrote about victor secretly , I would get in big trouble , what letters you may ask? It’s simple. Basically, when i feel like I can’t control the love i feel towards him . I write down all my feelings in a letter and hide it somewhere , i got this idea from a movie i watched last year. At first , I haven’t thought not in a million years that I would use this idea and especially writing my unwanted feelings towards my CEO ,Aka victor li .

He was very strict and seemed to be very rude, i used to hate on him . He isn’t my type in men plus we’re completely different. Its not a big surprise since he is the CEO of an worldwide successful company ,LFG.

Just to clarify our differences. He made his company from the beginning meanwhile me, A young lady who inherited a show from her father once she Graduated from college. I didn’t even have an experience in life or the business field.

Everything were so difficult to me and it felt like an endless maze , the fact that I have him as my investor was like a miracle . Not only that but he really take good care of me . He is older in age , with a mature mindset . I am just young reckless, hesitant and inexperienced girl who just got a big position and so naive comparing to what she is responsible for .

I thought alot about giving up but victor make me change my mind and Instead of giving up he gave me the motivation to challenge him , i was in the mood to show him and prove to him that i can take the harsh responsibilities like an adult And be someone who is trust worthy enough to have his five hundred million investment in my show .

With time, i fall in love with him. And with everyday goes by it only grows bigger and bigger than the day before. The more i try to hide my feelings. The more it becomes obvious . When he confessed his feelings to me that day in the rooftop. I was beyond happy. I couldn’t sleep that day. But I quickly get back to the harsh reality, and remembered the huge gap between us, Victor deserve someone near to his position. Not me, comparing to him i am just a crybaby who rant about submitting reports and dealing with the deadlines every week .

But one day, I don’t know what’s goes inside my brain . I couldn’t even control my own body. When i found out that Victor would go to the awards banquet with another woman, I stopped thinking and I couldn’t care less about how weird i am behaving with my colleagues . In that night , i saw victor leaving the fancy banquet hall with another woman.

She looks way more mature and wiser than me. To put it in simple words she has everything i lack, and to my unfortunate luck. She does everything way better than me . And tonight , I witnessed My heart sinking in the ground. Its like i just got drenched in icy cold water in this snowy weather . I drank Alot . Wine, whiskey and even brandy . I couldn’t even recognize the bitterness in them . I just drink to be numb and ease my heart.

When the banquet came to an end ..

“ you two can head home first, its late . The weather is pretty today so i just want to walk and be alone for some time “ I spoke with a shaky voice tone, then left after grabbing my hand bag from the table.

“ whats wrong with our boss? She’s has been acting weird these few days especially today” Kiki spoke to anna.

Anna were worried as well , she just shrugs in confusion replying to kikis question.

“ i have never seen her like that before!” Anna added

“ it’s dangerous to let her be alone !, we can’t just leave her there! “ kiki said

“ she wanted time to get her self together, I think its very inappropriate for us to interrupt her wishes . * she smiled * Don’t worry minor would keep his eyes on her from afar “ Anna said while patting Kiki s shoulder gently to comfort her .

After leaving them. i rushed to the back beautiful garden to try and process everything happened tonight , the scenery were amazing but I couldn’t focus and appreciate it , I started regretting what i did, I shouldn’t push him away acting dumb and slow from the beginning. I love him more than anything, I admit i am very jealous and I don’t know how to deal with it because its my first time feeling this way about someone. I have never wanted someone as much I do for Victor.

These feelings were so exhausting to bear alone ,I was so hopeless that i even shared my story anonymously in tumbler with people but everyone advised me to stay away and forget about him for endless reasons. Yeah, they were right. But..

I also can’t… I CANT STOP LOVING HIM AND GIVE UP ON THIS . people wont have mercy on us and our relationship since we are a boss and worker in love but now seeing this . Realizing I might lose him forever. I don’t care, seeing him taking care of a random woman and accompanying her in the banquet really make me rethink about everything and even that thoughtful decision i took and was so confident about . I decided to head to the parking section for cars to follow them. I started running like crazy .

“GOD PLEASE PLEASE LET ME MAKE IT , PLEASE DONT LET THEM LEAVE TOGETHER ! . PLEASE.. I CANT LOSE HIM THIS TIME” i said begging .

I can lose anything and everything, but not him. I can’t lose Victor!

Because no one loved me like he did And I can’t imagine falling in love again with a different man.

Suddenly my foot slipped and i fall.

The expensive pair of high heel that i brought got ruined too. One of them broke But I couldn’t stop here! Im still in the middle of the way . My legs started be numb and it hurt a little because these shoes were new too , But I didn’t care, I can’t lose the path that can lead me to them! I still have to find Victor!

When i reached to the cars parking space , I couldn’t find them…

My nose suddenly started to burn and my eyes started sweating?, i decided to go back inside the banquet and sit . I couldn’t find chair there so I went to sit the corner on the stairs like a lost child. I started to cry heartily like a baby who lost her parents . But for me comparing to the baby I lost everything, I lost Victor..

My body is shaking and I couldn’t stop the thoughts in my mind. My mind went wild and started to even imagining how they would look together in the church . Kissing each other passionately after announcing them as a husband and wife. My heart suddenly started to beat so fast and I began to struggle breathing , while sobbing quietly.

Suddenly i felt a warm coat landed on my head, shoulders and has familiar manly scent ..

my face were swallowed, especially my eyes and nose. I was slow to react and realizing that this coat belongs to him…. And only him. Victor..

I felt strange feeling , i was happy and relieved that i was able to meet him again.. and that happiness give me strange feelings in my tummy . I believe that’s what they call “butterflies in the stomach” , I felt really warm. I don’t think it’s because of that coat. But him. Who give them his scent and body temperature

“ * sigh helplessly at the view* Dummy.. what are you doing here in this condition ? Don’t you know it’s dangerous area, especially in this hour? What if someone came for you ? Or even decided to kidnap you ,taking you away ? What are going to do? I searched everywhere for you and I couldn’t find you its like you weren’t in this earth from the beginning , WHERE THE HECK YOU WERE??? ………. But most importantly are you okay? Did something happen?……… Duckie , are you crying? “

my eyes couldn’t stop the tears from coming out when he were talking in such an sharp voice, he was really worried so he was furious to see me in such a state alone , but when he noticed that i was crying so hard, sniffing and wiping my eyes his voice turned so soft and calm

he grabbed my hands and hold them between his hands to warm them up

I refused to talk or face him because i wasn’t looking at my best right now, he just kneeled down to my level like prince charming and looked at me, he noticed how swallowed and red my face are.. he reached with his hands to hold my cheeks while massaging my under eyes

“ do they hurt A lot? “ he said quietly ,

I nodded while looking in the ground, my eyes fell upon his shoes trying to avoid his glare.

“If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine too. Lets go home first … its getting late” he said..

I nodded because i was too tired to reply using sentences . I stand and remembered my broken heels and slightly injured foot.

Before I could explain, Victor carried me bridal style , I didn’t needed to explain anything. I felt warm , safe and happy, that I forget that I’m being held between his arms . I gave up to the warm sensation and fall asleep.

Victor put me in his car gently , wrapping my body with his big coat then went to grab hot tea and body warmers from the super market near by.

i took some time to wake up, when i wake up i was still in his car , the car was really warm. I didn’t find Victor on the driver seat so i looked outside.

i saw him tapping on his tablet working and answering calls . I also noticed that we’re near the sea and its 12am . I took my time appreciating the view , then i knocked at the window. Victor saw me and returned to the car.

“ you wake up, how do you feel now ? “ he asked with a soft voice

“ i am better now , sorry for making a scene back there. I was really upset about something so i was drunk , angry and upset thats why I decided to be alone , sorry i worried you and caused you trouble “i said while looking into his eyes.

“ dummy… And why did you drink? “ he said angrily ..

“ please don’t be mad i was just so upset, can’t you just allow me to drink only this time?” I said

“ yes, i am angry at you… but also glad to see you safe and better. After all , i can’t ask for more from dummy like you” victor said then poked the tip of my nose lightly with his fingers , after that he patted my head gently, smiling at me .

“ its late, let’s head home” he said

After few minutes driving i realized that we are in different path and its unfamiliar to me.

“ where are we going “ i asked hesitantly ..

“ to My home” he said

“ to your home??”

“Well, only if your apartment was nearby like my home. Its late already, just sleep tonight in my house” he said calmly

I nodded in agreement.

After few minutes we arrived.

Victor opened the door for me , i entered inside . His home was big but also felt so warm and cozy . Victor turned to face me “ go and take a hot shower, then dry your hair. Don’t get cold. I asked them to prepare you clothes. If you need anything ask me “ he said

i went to the room. It was big as expected and has a fancy bathtub. After i finished showering and preparing for bed. When i was about to head to sleep, I suddenly heard knocks on my door .

“Get in “ i said

The door was opened and it was victor, he was wearing his classic black pjs

“ as expected, you didn’t even dry your hair yet you headed to sleep anyways“ he said..

“What if you get cold?” He added

He went to grab a hairdryer from the drawer . Then turned to face me

“ come here” he said

I understand what he want so i sit and give him my back. He started to dry my hair, touching my hair so gently. After he finished drying my hair he took a hair tie and started to tie my hair.

“ there’s something I wanted to say to you” he said

“ hmm? “ I replied

“ i will get to the point “ he said

“ I might not know what exactly that got you so bothered like that , but you must know that there are a lot of circumstances in the world that are out of our control. The causes and reasons behind every circumstance is complicated. In a world where it’s impossible to know everything, it’s normal that we experience things we cannot understand and find difficult to accept. Even so, we have to accept it. There are many ways to accept it. Crying is also one of them. However, only for one night. ( he took my hand that was planning on reaching my face)…. And don’t rub your eyes, it will be better if you leave it and take a good sleep “ he added .

After leaving, he leaned to kiss my head .

“ good night “ he said

“ wait! “ i said

His eyes locked into mine , waiting for me to say what I want to say.

“ why did you went to the banquet, with her? “ i couldn’t stop my curiosity so i asked him .

He chuckled quietly then pinned my chin forcing me to look at him..

“ you jealous? “ he said

A bold idea came up to me ,

“Yes..i am! “ I didn’t wasted time and answered his question seriously.

He was frozen in his place , stopped chuckling and has a surprised face expression .

I gathered all my courage to say the three most difficult words ..

“ i love you victor! “ i said , while looking into his face..

then reached to his face and give him a quick peck on his lips ..

“ don’t make me feel this way again, I hate it !“ i said and then went for another kiss . But He didn’t kiss me back , still surprised by my bold move.

“ when i saw how you looked to her when she was talking to you . You were smiling while and looking into her eyes , I wondered if you ever started to lose your feelings towards me , i was really scared of losing you.. i even started to imagine how you would look in your groom suit .. standing beside her in front of everyone… i was so scared “ my voice cracked at the end.. i felt the tears forming in my eyes

“ I really… really don’t want to lose you . I did my research about her, She won countless times and even has the f-“ my speech were cut off with his hot kiss .

He closed his eyes and rested his one hand on the back of my head and the other on my neck.

He pulled his lips away from mine when he noticed how i was struggling to breathe.

“ … you talk too much” he said while maintaining his sharp eyes on me.

“Since when you had these thoughts on that little brain of yours? Instead of using it on useless things, apply this effort and worry about your unfinished weekly report instead. You thought I haven’t noticed how distracted you were ?“ Victor said.

“ relax dummy , Lili is just an older sister to me. She asked if i can company her since her husband on business trip outside china. Lili is busy in work but also dealing with three kids at the same time. I was just helping her manage the deal she had with SJ company , you don’t have to worry that little head of yours on such matters “ victor added.

“ Duckie, i searched for you, and luckily after 10017 years i was able to meet you again. The little head of yours could never imagine how bad I wanted to see that silly smile of yours again. I waited for so long , and you better make it up to me. In other words , Be mine” victor said , while holding my left cheek and went for another breathless kiss ..

“ i —-love —-you——-, Dummy “ he said between his kisses ..

“ don’t close your eyes, look at me when iam talking to you. You know that i love when you’re bold with me, right?” he said smiling at me then slightly biting my lower lip ..

“I was so happy when i met you, in the end of the banquet . I thought you went with her“ i said while having a big silly smile on my face

“ There is only one thing you should be happy about……. It has always been you and only you” he said while looking at my eyes and holding my hot blushing cheeks in his big hand .

After making out sessions for straight two hours , he lay me down on the bed pulling the quilt over my body.

“ go to sleep, and NEVER think about theses useless matters . if you want to ask me something Just ask me directly ... Goodnight dummy” he said ..

“Good night” i replied softly

He smiled then give me a final forehead kiss and went outside the room after dimming the lights ..

In the next day i went to LFG to submit my weekly report , suddenly i received a call from Kiki

“ boss, i made a surprise for you!! you are going to thank me for it . Don’t overthink about it, and just enjoy the surprise” she said while giggling in mischievous manner.

She closed the call, i was nervous and curious at the same time but I didn’t pay much attention on that because I didn’t have much time left, i have weekly report to submit! . I hurried to victors office and luckily I arrived on time but I found my secret love letters has been opened on victors office already and he had one of them on his hand , taking his time reading it while drinking his coffee ..

he noticed me standing near the door , surprised and embarrassed . Victor smirked in anticipation

“ You have a lot of explainings to do , Producer Duckie “ he said while giving me smirky face

what a Great start to my day.

The End

Thank you for reading, see you next time!