#and im actively questioning it but also like. well what ELSE could be true other than that everyone is a character/doesnt exist actually

[turnipotentiary]

SOMETHING STRANGE is in the heart. song by dee-lusions

[myysaints]

°˖ ⊹ ꒰ CL16 ꒱ TEAM COLOURS ─ CHARLES LECLERC

CHARLES LECLERC x f!actress!reader

⌗︙・ summary — with one simple instagram story, you blew up the internet. now everyone is eager to know if the rumours are true: is Charles Leclerc really seeing Hollywood's hottest it girl?

genre — social media au, fc irene from red velvet

notes — charles didn't get pole but he did get podium!!!! so here's a gift for all us tifosi's 🥂 also - i'm of east asian ethnicity myself hence why the past 2 smau's have had EA face claims asdfhg but regardless im totally open to doing smau requests for other ethnicities!!! my inbox is open after all haha. anyways i hope u enjoy this one! apologies in advance for the google translated french LOL

yourusername added to their story.  32m

[caption: here’s to the weekend 🍾]

yourusername

Liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc, florencepugh, and 3,457,216 others

🏷   scuderiaferrari

yourusername   screw cowgirls, i’m a car girl 🏎 🏁

view all 38,009 comments

scuderiaferrari   We think you look good in red ❤️

charles_leclerc   I agree yourusername   why thank you charles charles_leclerc  Of course, ma chérie y/nfanpage1   YOOOO WHAT THE-

danielricciardo   Great fun karting with ya on Thurs. You’re not bad – for a rookie 😉

yourusername   oh hush you dannyricdannieric   iconic new wag alert?????

landonorris   as the kids say, slay ✨

yourusername   i see i’ve taught you well 😌 landonorris   Haha, learnt from the best! y/nl/nsleftpinkie   GIRLYS PULLING THE WHOLE GRIDDDDDD purpleporschegirl   FR like i’ve never seen them this active 💀💀💀

f1wagupdates

Liked by 34,082 others

f1wagupdates   HOT OFF THE PRESS FROM f1anons ON TWITTER 🖤 After a tumultuous start to the season and a breakup from long-term partner Charlotte Sine six months ago, it seems that Charles Leclerc has found love again! The Ferrari driver was seen roaming Melbourne in the days leading up to the Australian GP, and fans have spotted him cozying up to an unknown woman. Neither Leclerc nor Scuderia Ferrari have commented on the situation.

view all 1,002 comments

jamiesgridthots   literally where in the og tweet did it say it was abt charles….

keepittoyaself   Anon straight up said “Sine-ing” off. Who else could it be about? maybeimafool   okay, so here’s the real question: who’s the girl?????? ssumertimedadness   IDK, but she is sooooo lucky 😭

sculderiabullrari   So, we all agree that it’s Y/N L/N, right?

sainzpookiebookie   hate to be that person, but i don’t think they’ve even met each other irl... thegrreat63   ???? charles literally commented on her post about attending the AusGP ??? sennathesenate   Exactly. Why else would Ferrari give her a VIP paddock pass? Just because of one viral Tweet? tifosi55   yall r delusional LOL he literaly just broke up with charlotte theyre NOT DATING!

kimiiiboxbox   i know we’ve only seen them interact like once in a comments section, but i want charles and y/n to be real SO BAD

yourusername added to their story.                                                            24s

[caption: new fave colours ❤️🖤❤️]

yourusername added to their story.                                                                       32m

[caption: monaco, here we come]

charles_leclerc added to their story.                                                                      41m

[caption: Coming home. 🇲🇨 🇲🇨]

f1wagupdates

Liked by 28,239 others

f1wagupdates   SUBMITTED BY ANON 🖤 Amidst the rumours swirling about Oscar-nominated actress Y/N L/N being the next to join the wag crew, fans have spotted Charles Leclerc and an unknown woman spending a fun day at the beach in Monaco… 🏖☀️

view all 2,829 comments

maxverstoppening   uh hello????? y/n l/n posting a story about going to monaco ….. charles posting about “coming home” 30 mins later ………. somethings afoot

tsutsumnodas   you’re not seriously suggesting,,,, that theyre,,, maxverstoppening   many thoughts being thunk !

gaslyyup   hollywood it girlie together with racing it boy? man, Monaco gp boutta be crazy fr

atoceanblvd   gonna take a bath with my toaster 🥰🥰

mlniemrtinez   the highway looks so comfy rn omg 😍 d3ftonesgirll   They better be real or I will actually hunt both of them down.

scuderiaferrari

📍Circuit de Monaco

Liked by yourusername, f1, charles_leclerc, and 4,271,855 others

🏷   yourusername

scuderiaferrari   caught yourusername hard at work 💪💪💪

view all 305,627 comments

yourusername   doing my best for the best team 🫡

yourusername   hey charles_leclerc and carlossainz55 am i doing a good job?

carlossainz55   Absolutely 👍 ! charles_leclerc   Dunno about best, but you sure are the prettiest ;) yourusername   …..i don’t know if i should be offended or grateful charles_leclerc   ❤️😂 paddockfemcel   they know EXACTLY what theyre doing 😭😭

user1   y/n and charles in the comments playing with our feelings BOI IF YOU DONT TELL US THAT YOURE TOGETHER RN-

charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc   Hard at work in Monaco. What a great race week. Finished P2. It’s good to be back.

view all 284,112 comments

carlossainz55   You do too much, cabrón 😂

Liked by charles_leclerc drdannyric   um???? what does carlos know that we don’t….

scuderiaferrari   And onwards we go! To P1 and beyond 🚀

yourusername   looking good, leclerc ;)

Liked by charles_leclerc

y/nl/nfanpage1   WHAT IS Y/N DOING HERE???

user2   no like….. seriously.... girl stand UP….. user3   I don’t get what she sees in him. He drives around in circles for a living 🙄 user4   Jeez why are yall so pressed 😭😭 they’re literally just friends… user5   !!!! that’s what im sayin!!!!! everybody’s so upset but they haven’t even confirmed if they’re dating or not LOLOLOL

charles_leclerc added to their story.                                                                              12h

[caption: Bumped into someone familiar in Monaco today @/yourusername]

yourusername

yourusername   quick pit stop to smell the flowers… 🌷☁️👒

Liked by charles_leclerc, lilymhe, pierregasly, and 2,948,227 others

view all 108,447 comments

landonorris   A true rose

yourusername   gosh you’re so cheesy landonorris   I was talking about me not you charles_leclerc   Hey, both of you play nice landonorris   stay out of it Leclerc

ana_d_armas   Stunning, Y/N!

Liked by yourusername Liked by charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc   💐🖊

yourusername   💌💌 clarleslaclarc   excuse me – what???? raikkkkonon   oh so they have inside jokes now… racketpiquet   Bro chill, it’s just a flower emoji, yall r doing too much 🤣🤣

babygotback   They are so UNSERIOUSSS first Y/N with flowers on Charles’s story now this??? 😭

jantalksalot   AND THAT LAST SLIDE. WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT IT!!!! mickymousemacher   atp i bet they’re just messing with us for the fun of it

f1wagupdates

Liked by 621,443 others

f1wagupdates   It seems Charles Leclerc isn’t afraid of packing on the PDA – Here he is with an unknown woman at a local bazaar in Monaco! According to sources, the Ferrari driver is reportedly “very serious” about their relationship, and a source tells us that the two are “very happy” and “very much in love”.

Comments on this post have been disabled.

yourusername added to their story.                                                                               12m

[caption: back in the city. feels good to be home!]

nyccelebgoss

Liked by 91,273 others

nyccelebgoss   Formula 1’s hottest commodity, Charles Lecclerc, spotted Monday night outside an exclusive Soho bar. Doesn’t help that a certain Y/N L/N is also in the city… Could Leclerc’s elusive beau be the award winning actress? All we know is: Leclerc may be kissing – but he certainly isn’t telling 💋 Follow us for more NYC celebrity gossip 🤫

view all 1,663 comments

tsunogaslys   okay, as much as i wanna know whats going on, don’t they deserve a little privacy??

y/nluvrrrr   Was just thinking that. I hope they’re ok with all this media attention.

charlosscuderia   What the hell is charles doing in NYC?

mymuppetlando   Y/N made a story about being in NY. You can put 2 and 2 together lol. gridgirlfriend224   oh so he’s WHIPPED whipped 😭

warytonsennea   OK, now they HAVE to make some kind of statement.

y/nfanupdates   Yeah, there’s literally no way around this one LOL it’s def Y/N

charles_leclerc

Liked by danielricciardo, carlossainz55, landonorris, and 7,218,942 others

🏷   yourusername

charles_leclerc   Well, I guess the cat’s out of the bag. So here I go: Mon amour, the past one year I have spent with you has simply been the best year I’ve ever had. Ma Cherie. You bring light to my life and a smile to my face each time I see you – Up on the silver screen, in the paddock cheering for me, or when I wake up next to you. Your love means more to me than you could ever know. Tu es ma vie et ma lumière. Merci d'être mienne. (You are my life and my light. Thank you for being mine.) I love you forever. ❤️

view all 952,404 comments

yourusername   i love you so much mon amour. here’s to one year and counting ❤️

charles_leclerc   ❤️❤️❤️

danielricciardo   FUCKING FINALLY!!!! congrats you two 🙌

Liked by charles_leclerc Liked by yourusername

landodelrey   ONE YEAR????? THEY’VE BEEN KEEPING THIS SECRET FOR ONE YEAR???

Liked by yourusername Liked by charles_leclerc tifosibabette16   i just KNOW that parasocial alex is smiling to himself somewhere 🤭

landonorris   S’about time. Oh, and you’re too good for him, Y/N ;) McLaren is waitingggggg

yourusername   sorry lando, but it's just like seb said: everyone is a ferrari fan (including me) charles_leclerc   😘 That’s my girl.

lewishamilton   ❤️

charles_leclerc   ❤️ yourusername   ❤️

scuderiaferrari   Welcome to the family yourusername!

Liked by yourusername

© myysaints

[gardenerian]

new to this amazing fandom and imposter syndrome is raging thru me. any advice on how to take the plunge and create? or do you think all the well known creators here are already established?

what makes a fic great and a 'classic? regular updates? being active on socials? i posted once and was basically ignored so im scared now and in my head.

sorry for all the questions

× imposter anon

hey there 💓 welcome to the fandom! this is a brilliant, silly, LOVING place, and i am so glad you're here! i'm sorry you're feeling a bit unsure, ty for coming to chat with me 🫂✨

first, i'll say that NO, i don't think there's a cap on creators here. what i love about this fandom is that it's constantly growing and evolving - almost like it's breathing? there are new people who have just binged the show, fans who are reconnecting, and goobers like me who will never let go 😇 no matter what, we are here to gobble up words and art and thoughts and FRIENDSHIP!

honestly, i think the trick for me was connecting. i joined shameless tumblr in 2019 and screamed into the absolute VOID before i started interacting with others. once i started reaching out and talking with others, it was easier for me to share my writing or find the encouragement to start making gifs. there is a BIG focus on community here, and i find that people are so eager and generous with their energy. we WANT to cheer you on and champion your work! we WANT to beta and read and give advice/tips/love.

so i would say not to be shy (easier said than done, i know!), and to share your beautiful self! a lot of users have tracked tags, which is a good way to share and connect. i track #gardenermel (sometimes i am bad at looking, but i'll always get there!), and i'd love to see what you've been up to. and there are many others who love to see creations this way! if you feel comfortable, you can reach out via asks and strike up conversations! all of my friendships here started this way.

there are plenty of ways to get started! fandom events are especially useful for trying things out. depending on what you'd like to create, you could check out @galladrabbles @gallacrafts @gallavichmeta @shamelesscreatorsnetwork @gallavichprompts... there's a yearly @spicygallavichcollab and all kinds of events hosted by @gallavichthings. honestly, the list goes on! these are excellent resources for sharing creations, and a great way to meet members of the fandom.

there's also a host of discord groups associated with some of these initiatives! check out the blogs for links. plus, the big ol' gallabitches server (18+). you'll find a lot of us there, and it's a lovely space to chat about your creations (and everything else!).

as for fic classics, i think that depends on who you ask! there are certainly some fandom staples, but what's great about this space is the WIDE range of interests and ideas. people have put these guys in every single situation, and we continue to be fucking psyched about it. as long as ian, mickey, and the whole damn gang feel true to themselves, i am (generally) fucking here for it. i don't post regularly AT ALL, but i still find that people are so lovely when i do. there's no race to be won here, fandom is about ENJOYING yourself. so i say: please keep trying! drop me a link! i don't catch everything and i WANT to see what yall are doing!

i hope this helps, even in some small way. i know coming into a new fandom can seem daunting, but we're all here for the love of it, and it's so fantastic to keep sharing it! 🍅

anyone else have thoughts? i love you!

[thatlittledandere]

PLEASE talk about xoxo droplets omg. im no thoughts head empty rn but tbh just i wanna hear every opinion you have about it,, i love when people share my Extremely Unknown Special Interest

Every time I think about how to explain the main characters to someone unfamiliar with them I can get through Everett and Shiloh just fine, normal short synopses, but THEN. NATE LAWSON. TRAPS ME FOR HOURS. Nate isn't even my favorite but I'm obsessed with him oh my god. This is gonna have spoilers for his route btw hold on

Like. I met him, and thought, in a true JB fashion, hot damn. He, he's easily the most attractive of the bunch to me shrsvhddh (Everett has so many qualities I love on paper but in practice. It's Nate he's the most handsome) Then I started to observe why he's in the Unfriendable Group and deducted that he's got a stick the size of a log up his ass. Simple enough. But WAIT THERE'S MORE

I started his route PURELY because he was hot shhddvhgd even though I disliked him hard after my first playthrough. (Shiloh. I didn't believe the warnings. F in the chat bois.) He's not JUST a stickler to the rules nooooooo he's a PERFECTIONIST. And a SUPERHUMAN. But HE doesn't see it like that nooooo he thinks he's just the only one who puts in any effort at all. People keep telling him his standards are unreachable but ~obviously~ they're not. If he can do it, so can everyone else! They're just not trying hard enough! And he doesn't try to be perfect, no, that's impossible. He just wants to be the best he can!

But it's never enough. There's always room for improvement, after all. Nate could get a perfect score on a test and still be dissatisfied, because he could have elaborated on that point in his essay more, or his handwriting got too close to the marginalia on one line and that is unprofessional, or he thought on that one multi-choice question longer than he should have if he studied adequately, etc, etc.

And because of this he's constantly stressed the FUCK out. He volunteers when something needs to be done, he helps out teachers, he takes it upon himself to make sure everyone else is ALSO acting properly, he puts at LEAST 100% into EVERYTHING he does, and there's always more to do. He has a part-time job at a warehouse as well and while the physical labor can offer a bit of a break for his brain, you can bet your ASS he doesn't stop for ONE second or stay on his break a MINUTE too long. How the hell does he live like this?

Well. What other choice is there? Things need to be done. They need to be done well. And obviously Nate knows the importance of rest to your health and performance, so he certainly eats and sleeps properly, but see these things are also scheduled and measured and optimized for maximum efficiency. But does he get REST, for REAL? Does he RELAX?

Yes, because he's best friends and roomies (the room is spotless At All Times) with Everett "2kool4skool" Gray (who would shoot me point blank for saying something so uncool about him). I Could write another essay on their dynamic but let's just say they balance each other out. Nate gives Everett direction, Everett gives Nate respite. Phew.

But I'm not done. MORE MORE MORE. Because I started talking about my personal relationship to Nate but got sidetracked by character analysis dghfsfh THE THING IS I disliked him heavily even some time after starting his route, and all the characters absolutely SHINE on their dates. But then. The unthinkable happened.

The class trip.

Now of course I already knew Nate was extremely high strung all of the time, but until that point I'd seen it either as an annoyance or a joke. But the class trip was, like, a disaster to Nate. He's spending more time with the group outside strictly defined areas and activities and therefore feels responsibility over their behavior. Obviously a new environment with new activities gives everyone more opportunities to act up. They have a schedule, but it's not in Nate's control, and he can't help seeing himself as like a vice advisor, and nothing goes exactly as planned or at ALL as planned, and everyone's doing it on PURPOSE his life is already hell and they're doing it to SPITE him or maybe they're just completely unfit to the title of human being that's been forced on these demons, and this is STILL SCHOOL they're still bound by school rules and they should LEARN things here and GET SOMETHING OUT OF IT for HEAVENS sake,

So it's no wonder he breaks down. And it was, it was fucking terrible. Nate's stress and anxiety present as anger most of the time, I didn't... I didn't see him as the type who would cry. Kind of figured Nate was one of those boys who didn't remember the last time they cried but guessed it was somewhere around fourth grade? Heartless of me. I really thought he was like. Pardon the expression. Above such vulnerability.

Of course he's not. He's a person, and a highly sensitive one at that. I guess I hadn't noticed it over what a hardass he is;;; And y'all I felt SO bad. And so awkward. Like. What the fuck do you do in that situation? This wasn't supposed to happen. It felt like we were breaking the script somehow. Like. "I'm not supposed to see this. Why am I seeing this? Do I need to? Fucking christ. Is this allowed? When can I leave. Uh. There there? Can't even pat him on the shoulder. Jesus just kill me"

And that scene changed everything. Nate cried in front of the MC and I could never see him in the same light again. I used to think he was kinda just a tough yet guarded guy and a demanding ass but oh wow he's actually just like. This dude has anxiety. This dude has problems. He's burning out at light speed and has been for the past what? Eight years?? Get him HELP.

And I HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED ON HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS PARENTS YET. So they're the type who saw having children as just a step that responsible adults take at some point in their lives, and they were not prepared. And Nate was a difficult child too. Not on purpose, obviously, babies don't do anything on purpose, but he was particularity emotional even as a baby. He's just Like That. So his parents ehm eeeurgh tolerated him for a few years. Just kind of. Pushed through it. And then decided to give up and send him to a boarding school. Like they basically abandoned him there because they couldn't handle him.

And Nate is on hard denial about this. He tells himself it was the reasonable choice and the best for everyone, and he's not wrong, but he's also not ready to face the fact that uh. His parents very much just are not good at parenting and they don't actually know each other at all. "I respect them and they respect me" is how he puts it, and again it's not wrong but also christ he was not truly loved as a child and still isn't. Mommy and daddy hear that his grades are top of the class and he's very mature and responsible and respected by staff and students alike, and they're proud of him, but they do NOT know who he is as a person or how fucking terrible he's actually doing.

Not that Nate admits any of that himself. I can see how it would be difficult to face when you're already juggling fifty glass balls on a glass platter while riding a unicycle on hard stone floor.

Why is NATE is the one I give a private Ted Talk on regularly when none of the jerks are doing much better. He's just for fucks sake he, he's doing so bad. So bad. Maybe it's the incredibly harsh wakeup call I got? I cannot overstate how impactful that one scene was. HE CRIED. HE CRIED IN FRONT OF ANOTHER PERSON? HE BROKE DOWN?? NATE LAWSON HAS WEAKNESSES??? LIKE HE WASN'T JUST DOING ALL THAT FOR THE SAKE OF OBLIGATION OR TO LOOK GOOD ON A RESUME? HE'S REALLY THAT CRUSHED? I wasn't supposed to be there. I know it's a scripted event but I wasn't supposed to see that it feels not allowed. Are you still there? Thank you for reading go to sleep

[secondchoice-ragdoll]

Do you think Trixie ever had feelings for Katya?

hiyaaaaaay now thats definitely a question😭 disclaimer: this is veeeery wishy-washy and fanfiction-y, based on barely anything else but *vibes* and my observations. this is strictly my perspective, and may not at all overlap w anyone's involved. none of this should be treated as actual information (just like anything else i say, pretty much).

so the quick answer is: yes. (but "feelings" is very broad)

in depth: i am 99,9% sure the answer is yes. at some point(/s), to some degree, some kinds of feelings, definitely yes. in the beginning it (whatever it was) seemed to pair with a sort of admiartion, which im sure they still have, but back then K could have been more like a far away, untouchable, sensational concept, now K is closer and she knows her well and loves and trusts her (and she is her god. never forget that😭😭😭). like rn she for sure loves K very very dearly and very very much. do you know abt that kind of love when u r not exactly sure what box to put it into, but all that matters is that its there and its a big feeling. and maybe u would be open to it being sexual/romantic too, but u might as well be fine w nothing of the sort ever happening, u just want to keep each other close. well they seem to fall under this bracket from where i stand.

obvi we know K has vocalised her opinion on the matter back in the days pretty clearly. and i'd argue that she has kept doing so up until very recently. and i'd also argue that so did T. like, the jig has been up for a decade, i think atp its their subconscious speaking sometimes, and they might not even be fully aware of how they r coming off (for example: the way they kept describing each other when asked abt their ideal partners. like, im sure they do not spend their days actively pining for each other. but like. u see it, i see it, we all see it?). im not saying they'd be perfect together w no issues and no rough times, bc thats just not realistic at all, but i know for a fact that they do love each other so very much im not even sure what a person can do w that intensitiy. (do they love each other the most? like, im not joking here, do u remember the times they have both said things like "u r my fav person" or "i definitely love u very much" or T pressing K on who she loves the most until she said her name? like??? if things have happened in the last months then i think ppl might have fallen out of Ts line who had a chance at being higher on the list (for a few possible reasons. such as being a romantic partner and how u r "supposed to" place those ones higher. but i get that. i just also have a lot of feeling abt this, surprisingly) then they *do* do love each other the most, dont they? so its all veeery complicated w them😭

the thing i am not certain abt is if T ever called it what it was, even only to herself. bc. like she doesnt seem to be a very big fan of said possibility of said feelings towards said person regardless of whether or not its true. like yes she will float the idea as a """joke""" of K being her partner at netflick in the middle of watching something totally irrelevant. but as a sentimental deep and actual reality im decently sure she does not like it. at different times of the last decade for different reasons (understandable ones, if i might add. the worst of it is that i can easily justify everything from both ends and thats why its just so UGH bc i get it. but i still think they r silly for doing things the way they do them). i think she knows on a level of being aware of what time it is, but the most in-character thing in my head would be for her to just go "no💗 like okay i see u i hear u i cant do anything but accept the fact that there is smth but just no. we got to stop, we cant be doing this. so i will not be acknowledging anything of the sort. bye". like ik it sounds stupid spelled out like this, but what i mean is that i feel like she worked on putting these things neatly away (before they even really had a chance to form into a graspable thought), and despite the box being made of glass and a little seetrought here and there, she seems to be content abt it being as it is.

and for how things are since her break? not a single fucking clue. i couldnt even tell u if i got paid to do so. i have a few ideas, all of them being based on even more nothing of a nothing than any of my other ideas. but i am seated for whenever we will be hearing abt how things went, or just seeing how things r when she is back. hope she is doing amazing wherever she is!!

[farfromstrange]

Total Eclipse Of The Heart | Matt Murdock

Pairing: Matt Murdock x f!vampire!Reader

Masterlist ° Parts 1 , 2

PART THREE: There is a lot about the mythology behind vampires to be found on the internet, but is it really true? Matt finds the mystery woman that has been turning his head and she once again makes him question everything he stands for, including his religion.

Warnings: Description of vampirism, mentions of death, mentions of blood, religious imagery & symbolism, blasphemy, dark themes!, not proofread

A/n: IM BACK WITH THIS STORY Y’ALL! This is actually pretty tame compared to the rest. Anyway, after I don't know how long, I have finished the chapter for this series. It's shorter than what I usually write, but I'm saving space for the smut. It's coming, I promise. If I'm correct, it might actually start happening in the next chapter, but it could also be the one after that. We'll see. I don't have a schedule for this story and I don't have the time to update regularly, so just lay back and be surprised by random updates!

18+ MINORS DNI

Vampires - (in European folklore) a corpse supposed to leave its grave at night to drink the blood of the living by biting their necks with long pointed canine teeth.

A person who preys ruthlessly on others. 

That’s how Google defines it. 

He wasn’t sure what the internet would bring him. He wasn’t even sure what he was searching for when he activated the text-to-speech function on his laptop very late at night as he sat in the complete darkness of his apartment, his figure only illuminated by the red light of the obnoxiously large billboard outside the windows, a light he could not see. He only heard the faint buzzing over the beating of his own heart and New York City screaming beneath him. He tuned it out, focused on what he found most important, and dove into the world of mythology and science - because how else could he explain the strange woman that seemed to follow him anywhere? 

She had him in a chokehold. Every time she was around him, he felt compelled to follow her. He felt drawn to her in a dangerous way that seemed almost magical. Matt Murdock didn’t believe in magic, he didn’t believe in the reality of mythology. He believed in facts, and there was the fact that superhumans existed, the Avengers taught him that much, but who this woman was exceeded what he chose to believe. It was unholy, ungodly, and a sin in the eyes of the God he worshipped. She couldn’t be what he suspected because if she were, he would have to take God’s word and put an end to the creature that she was. 

He came across an article that seemed ridiculous to read. Even saying the word sounded foreign to his ears as he asked Google to search for one species specifically, one that was not supposed to exist, only a product of centuries of retellings and then the modern media that twisted the picture. 

She wasn’t supposed to exist. 

“In European folklore, vampires are undead creatures that often visited loved ones and caused mischief or deaths in the neighborhoods they inhabited while they were alive.”

Deaths in the neighborhood. The suspected drug overdoses left the victims bloodless and caused some to go crazy. The injection sites were not often on the neck but on other body parts as well. All of that happened under his nose in Hell’s Kitchen, his home, his turf, his neighborhood. 

“They wore shrouds and were often described as bloated and of ruddy or dark countenance, markedly different from today’s gaunt, pale vampire which dates from the 19th century.”

He couldn’t see her but he doubted she looked like that and still appealed to the eyes of human men. At the gala, the men present had practically devoured her, but she had only had eyes for him. In a room full of eligible bachelors and people looking for a quick fuck, she had chosen him. He wasn’t supposed to feel so warm when thinking about her. Her hands were on his body, her distinctive scent, and the lack of a heartbeat. He wasn’t supposed to be aroused by thinking about where her hands had wandered before and the promise of doing it again. And he wasn’t supposed to want her after what she did to the fisherman only the night before. 

“Vampires are typically said to be of pale skin and range in appearance from grotesque to preternaturally beautiful, depending on the tale. Another frequently cited physical characteristic is the inability to cast a reflection or shadow, which often translates into an inability to be photographed or recorded on film.”

Preternaturally beautiful. It was as if there was no other word that could have explained her better. She was beautiful, a temptress, the snake in the garden of Eden that drove Eve to her certain demise, and Matt wasn’t sure who he was in this scenario - was he Eve or was he God? Was he going to bite the apple or was he going to serve justice for the cruel acts of the devil? Or perhaps he was a secret third option. Maybe he was the Devil standing behind the snake that was Lilith and they would both fall to their demise. He was no saint, he was merely one of God’s disciples, and he had sinned enough for a lifetime. 

“A bloodsucking creature that rises from its burial place at night, sometimes in the form of a bat, to drink the blood of humans. By daybreak, it must return to its grave or a coffin filled with its native earth.”

He brought his research to work that morning, determined to figure out what he was dealing with. With his headphones in it seemed as if he were working on the legal files Foggy left on his desk, while in reality, he scouted the internet for information on a topic that first suggested to him the Twilight Saga on Netflix.

“Tales of vampires are part of the world’s folklore, most notably in Hungary and the Balkan Peninsula. The disinterment in Serbia in 1725 and 1732 of several fluid-filled corpses that villagers claimed were behind a plague of vampirism led to widespread interest and imaginative treatment of vampirism throughout western Europe.”

“Who are you?” he wondered. “What are you? Where did you come from? Where can I find you?”

“A person may become a vampire in a variety of ways, the most common of which is to be bitten by a vampire. Other methods include sorcery, committing suicide, contagion, or having a cat jump over a person’s corpse. Some people believed that babies born with teeth or on Christmas or between Christmas and Epiphany were predisposed to becoming vampires. While vampires usually do not die of disease or other normal human afflictions, and they are indeed often said to have faster-than-normal healing capabilities, there are various methods for their destruction. The most popular of those include a wooden stake through the heart, fire, decapitation, and exposure to sunlight. Vampires are often depicted as being repelled by garlic, running water, or Christian implements such as crucifixes and holy water. In some stories, vampires may enter a home only if they have been invited, and in others they may be distracted by the scattering of objects such as seeds or grains that they are compelled to count, thereby enabling potential victims to escape.”

“What are you doing?”

Matt flinched. Out of shock, his hand got caught in the cord that attached his headphones to his laptop. He hurried to press pause before his friend could hear the ridiculous research he was conducting, but it was too late. The automatic voice sounded in the office and he wished the floor would open up and just swallow him whole. 

“These “undead” creatures cast no shadow and are not reflected in mirrors. They can be warded off by crucifixes or wreaths of garlic and can be killed by exposure to the sun or by an oak stake driven through the heart.”

Finally, he managed to press the spacebar to shut off the narration, but Foggy was already laughing by then. 

“Are you researching vampires?” he asked, holding his stomach. “Are you in a vampire cult? Is that why you keep coming to work with bruises on your face? Is it some kinky shit you’re too embarrassed to talk about? Because if so, you’ve got a real issue, dude!”

He slammed his laptop shut before Foggy could steal it from him. “No,” he was quick to answer. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Adjusting his glasses, he pulled one of the files from the stack on his left. If he appeared to be busy, maybe he would leave him alone. 

“C’mon, Matt, don’t be shy. Tell me! If it’s a girl you’re doing this for, maybe I can help. I could help you train your mojo, y’know. Or I could play wingman. If it’s a cult though, I’m out. I don’t like vampire cults. They’re disturbing.”

“It’s nothing,” Matt waved him off. “I was just… doing some research. Doesn’t matter. I’m done.”

Foggy wiggled his eyebrows. “Are you sure? A vampire chick would be crazy, man, but it would be hot. I assume she’s hot. Is she hot?”

“This is not about a girl!”

“You sure? You can tell me. I’m your best friend. Well, I’m your only friend, not counting Karen because you do not want to talk to her about this kinda stuff, trust me-”

He sneered, “Just drop it, Foggy.”

The man raised his arms, turning around to face the door. “Alright, keep your secrets, Bella Swan,” he said. “I won’t judge you. Yet. That might change in five minutes.”

Matt chuckled, although it was fake and a little over the top. “Get out,” he said with as much love as possible. 

Finally, the door fell shut and he could breathe. Not only did he embarrass himself in front of his friend but he almost blew his cover. He had to be smarter about this. If she was what he suspected her to be, he needed to be more cautious. She could cause all kinds of destruction. If she was this willing to hurt an innocent man, she wouldn’t hesitate to wreak havoc on his life, too, if he didn’t do what she wanted. And he didn’t want to lose his friends to a blood-sucking monster that had no right to exist. 

He set his mind on a new mission: find the strange woman and confront her before she could tear his dear Hell’s Kitchen apart. 

Dawn came soon enough and on the other side of town in the small abandoned church that they claimed, her coven started to wake from their sleep. She didn’t have to research her favorite object’s species - she knew humans inside and out. After all, she had been one of them a long time ago. 

When she woke up from her slumber, he was the first thought on her mind. It was getting sickening, this need for him. She yearned to touch him. He occupied every living brain cell constantly, and she couldn’t get his handsome face to fade from her vision. He was always there, every second, every day. Perhaps she was getting sick. Perhaps she had a tumor (that wasn’t possible) and she would pass away. If she had been human, that would have been a rational fear, but she wasn’t and so she had to admit to herself that she was not only infatuated with the stranger, she was obsessed. And perhaps her feelings were a little confused because he was simply different from any other man she had been infatuated with before. He was different from the men she had wanted before. Her mind reacted much differently than it usually did, and so did her body. She had never craved to tell someone the truth to the point they understood fully until he came along, and he screwed up the plans she made for her residency in New York. 

Part of her was screaming to leave. They could start over somewhere. There were several identities left that they could use, but with everything that was going on around them, they were bound to stay, and she was bound to suffer through wanting him until she could finally have him. Though she feared that even then she couldn’t let that peculiar creature go. And she didn’t even know his name. 

Well, that was until Talon came strutting into the main room with a brown folder in hand. She half suspected it to be the record of another victim, but she had prevented that the night before. No, what he was holding was much more precious and she considered giving him the kiss he had been craving for so long. But she wasn’t one to give in. The poor man didn’t deserve to be played with. He was one of them, after all. 

Holding a mug filled with a mixture of coffee and some leftover B-negative blood, she took the file that was handed to her. “What is this?” she asked. 

“The information on the man from the gala,” said Talon. “I thought you said that-”

“Huh.” She licked her lip, set down her drink, and resumed opening the documents. “I didn’t think you’d find him this fast.”

“The guest list was exclusive. It wasn’t that hard.”

“You’re right, I should have given you a more difficult task. My mistake.” Her tongue dripped with the venom of sarcasm. 

When she flipped the file open, she was met with the face she adored so much. She sucked in a breath of approval, tracing her finger over the man that was Matthew Michael Murdock, Columbia graduate, and attorney at law in his little law firm in Hell’s Kitchen. Partners with Franklin Percy Nelson and working alongside their paralegal Karen Page, who was just as beautiful as the rest of the group. 

“Gotcha!” she murmured with a smirk resting on her red-tinted lips. “Now you only have to find me…”

“Why don’t you visit them?” Talon burst her bubble. 

She looked at Matthew’s ephemeral face, then at the man before her. “They’re humans,” she deadpanned, “They don’t work at night unless they’re healthcare or security personnel. Lawyers qualify as neither.”

“If you want a taste, you could just visit him at home.”

“If I want a- Talon, seriously, did you eat your own brain for breakfast? I require an invitation to enter anyone’s home because I am a vampire. You are a vampire too, which means you cannot enter someone’s home without an invitation either. Do you really think he would let me in after I dug my teeth into an innocent man’s throat and almost tore his neck apart right in front of him?” She cocked an eyebrow. “I don’t fucking think so.”

He pouted. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, just get out of my face,” she said. 

“Yes, boss.”

Without a heartbeat, she was hard to track. He roamed Hell’s Kitchen for a sign of her, but she was nowhere to be found. She wasn’t at the docs or in dark alleyways. She wasn’t hunting in the woods like an animal. He preyed at places he thought she would appear. She never came. 

But this pull kept him connected to her, and so he soon found himself walking to the border of Hell’s Kitchen, far away from the city center. He could smell her miles away. She tainted the air with her scent, drawing a line toward her whereabouts. He followed that line until he reached the huge metal doors of the abandoned church he had only read about once. 

Carefully, Matt pushed his hand against the cold material. The lock gave in. The cold air hit the lower part of his face. The stone radiated little to no heat and the curtains on the colorful windows offered no entrance for sunlight. At night, they were open, and the paintings were as clear as day in the light of the chandelier. During the day, they kept them close. 

Vampires are allergic to sunlight, he remembered reading. It still felt like a fever dream. He couldn’t believe that he would even suspect such a thing. He was delusional, sick even. He wanted to know, but he was also afraid to take the first step into the walls of God’s house. It was no longer holy; the building had been tainted by the demonic possession, children of the Devil. 

He clutched the crucifix around his neck tightly, and then he dared to enter.

She stood at the altar, having smelled him long before. A chuckle passed her lips and she turned around, her eyes sparkling like those of a viper, and her voice sounded like the song of a thousand sirens trying to draw him under their spell. 

It was working. 

“This isn’t going to hurt me, you know?” she said. 

Matt licked over his lips. “Oh yeah?”

He stopped clutching the golden cross dangling from around his neck, building the perfect contrast to the crimson of his leather-clad suit. The irony of the Devil’s horns paired with the religious piece of jewelry went straight past him, but never past the woman standing right before him on the steps of the small, abandoned chapel in the heart of New York City.

“Aren’t vampires supposed to burn at the sight of a crucifix?” He realized that burn might have been too strong of a word. “…or something equally as dramatic?” he added, the hint of a dark smirk gone lost in his voice.

She chuckled. The sound bounced off the high walls decorated with poison ivy and cobwebs, and the cracks in the stone were proof of the significant age of the catholic landmark. “That’s what humans like to believe,” she said. “In your pretty little heads, it goes something like this: If the sight of Jesus on a cross can make the undead shake in their boots, God must surely be stronger than the evil lurking in the dark. I would know, I used to be like you once. A long time ago. But no, that’s actually a common misconception. The only emotion this crucifix elicits in me is pure, unbridled rage.”

“And you think I’d believe that?”

“I would say take a look in the mirror, but,” she clicked her tongue, “I don’t think you are going to see anything. Not because the mirror would be empty but because you can’t see. That’s important to clarify.”

He chuckled. “Okay, I get it. You also have a reflection. You know, you could tell me anything you want, but that still doesn’t make me believe you.”

“You don’t have a choice though.”

“Oh, I do. I always have a choice,” he said and his conviction was adorable. 

“What, you want to throw garlic at me next?” The silence told her that he played with the thought. “Sweetie,” she cooed condescension in its rawest form, “That’s not even going to leave a rash. Don’t like the smell or the taste, but then again, I do not require sustenance, so nobody cares that I don’t like garlic on my food.”

“So, no fear of crucifixes, no allergy to garlic and you have a reflection. Is anything they teach us about vampires real?”

“Fair question, but no. No matter how badly you want those myths to be a reality, they’re just myths. Stories. Retellings. Children of the human imagination.”

“Bram Stoker’s Dracula.”

“Classic literature without meaning,” she said. “But it’s a good book, nonetheless.” He could hear the smile in her voice, which was about the only thing about her that was audible to his ears.

There was something terrifying about acknowledging the existence of vampires. They were dead, abominations, creations of Satan – vampires were unnatural, born from the deepest, darkest pits of hell. It was everything that he gathered after hours of research, and somehow it still wasn’t enough because she simply didn’t fit the picture he had drawn up in his mind of what a vampire would be like. 

Her lack of bodily functions made it almost impossible for him to anticipate her behavior and it had him right on the precipice bothering on insanity.

“How did you know?” he questioned next. 

She frowned. “That you were the man from the gala?”

Matt nodded. 

“I can smell you,” she stated. “I can smell you and hear your heartbeat, that’s how I knew. And you smell oh-so-sweet. I could never forget that smell.”

He wanted to wipe that smirk off her face. She played with the same weapons he had. Her ears were as good as his and she could smell him the way he smelled her. Terrifying, he thought. She was everything he stood against and yet she was the most alike to him than anyone else.

“You figure out my name too?”

“Yes.”

“That I’m blind?”

“Blinded as a boy, lost his father young, grew up in a catholic orphanage. Graduated top of your high school class, then the top of your college class. You became a lawyer. You fight for justice. But then at night… oh, at night, the devil comes out to play. Daredevil,” she dragged out the word, “The man without fear.”

His tongue poked the inside of his cheek. “You did your research, huh,” he said. “You know everything yet nothing at all about me.”

“I could say the same about you.”

“Oh, I did my research too, alright.”

“Well, that was terrible research. Half of what the internet says isn’t true anyway.”

Scoffing, Matt chose to ignore the sheer mockery in her tone. He hated how comfortable she was around him. She had all the advantages and he was naked before her. For a man without fear, he sure was shaking in his boots just thinking about her, but it wasn’t just fear. Matt was excited. His body vibrated with the thrill she sent down his spine and he swallowed the urge to strut up to her and pull her against him, do all the lewd things she had on her mind and that projected onto him. 

But he didn’t. Instead, he asked for her name. She complied, of course, saying her name in the sweet poisonous tone she always used. It was a beautiful name, made for her even. He would never tire of hearing it. 

Eventually, after her name vanished from where it had hung in the atmosphere for him to taste every last sound of it, she spoke again. “You’re very educated, Matthew. I’m impressed. I like that I can talk to you on an intellectual level, although that outfit of yours is a disgrace hiding behind my favorite color,” she said. 

“Why,” he challenged her, “because blood is red?”

“Perhaps, or maybe it’s just because red looks good on almost everyone.”

He scoffed.

“Dear Matthew, I know I’m currently breaking your mind, but fear not! I don’t want to kill or eat you. Not your blood anyway.” 

Her eyes trailed over his body. Needy they were. Aroused, even.

He caught up on it. The longing glance, the lick of her lips, letting the saliva drip from her tongue to her bottom lip. He didn’t need to see to imagine her wild eyes undressing him.

“What do you want?” he asked. The last thing he wanted was for her to get the wrong idea.

But that dangerous woman already had the wrong idea. In her head, it was the right one. An attractive man entering her temporary stay… she would be the last person to say no to that.

“Nothing,” she stated. “I don’t have an ulterior motive. I know you want to have a reason to hate me other than the fact that I stand against everything your little catholic heart stands for, but I can’t offer you that.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Myths, novels, folklore, and everything else that even remotely borders on fantasy is something that feeds your human brain with things you understand. You want to believe what you know to be true to justify my untimely death if you were to drive a stake through my heart or something equally as dramatic. That way, you wouldn’t have to feel guilty for murdering me, but since you can probably tell that there is a faint heartbeat in my chest, it’d still be murder.”

“Untimely? I doubt that a vampire’s death could ever be untimely.”

“Three and a half centuries is pretty early for my species. Equals about the age of twenty in human years.”

“I don’t understand,” he expressed, desperate and he looked so small then, standing below her.

“My advice,” she said, taking a step down from her pedestal, “delete everything you think you know about vampires from lore or mythology and start making up your own mind.“

“Why?”

“Ask yourself this instead, why not? Why believe anything you can’t prove to be either false or true just because you have a gut feeling, or your worldviews are different? Isn’t that called prejudice?”

“Prejudice?” he said. 

“Yes. I know big words too, Matthew. I mean, I am very old.” Her smirk told him she took this anything but seriously. “Well, you are Catholic,” she said. “Catholics thrive off of prejudice.”

Matt shook his head. “You have no right to judge me.”

“I’m not judging you. I’m simply telling you to open up your mind to the possibility that there might actually be a power that’s even stronger than God. Just the possibility. Consider that. Rethink the world, rethink your religion, even. Rethink everything and reconsider what’s important. Once you’ve done that, come back and have tea with me. If we’re still not on the same page then, you may drive that stake through my heart after all. I know you want to. God knows you want to. The only person who doesn’t know,” she said, tilting her head to the side as if she was talking cutely to a child, “is you, Matthew.”

“Deal,” he spoke before his brain even got the chance to think about it. “But don’t think for a moment that you’re in control of me. I can make my own decisions, and if I end up deciding to get rid of you, that’s my choice too.”

The vampire shrugged. “That’s fine by me. I do not fear death in the way you humans do.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” he chuckled breathlessly, “When I’m done with you, you’re gonna wish I’d been so merciful as to kill you.”

“Feisty, I like it.” A smirk danced on her lips in a heated rendition of salsa. “I look forward to talking to you again, Matthew.”

Her heels sounded faintly against the stone floor as she disappeared into the darkness of the abandoned church walls.

“You’re going to sleep in your coffin now?” he couldn’t help but toss after her.

The sweet sound of her usually so dooming laugh filled his ears. “Bed, actually,” she said, not even raising her voice from wherever she stood to stop and listen to him. “Coffins are so eighty-seven.”

Matt shook his head. He had always feared the creatures of the night, like the sisters at the orphanage told him to, and the priests at church always taught God’s disciples to be weary of Satan because Lucifer hides behind the most beautiful faces. The snake lurks in the dark and every person, male or female, represents Eve in the Garden of Eden, submissive to the silver tongue of the devil. That’s why you have to be on the lookout, they told them. He’s in people you don’t expect, and the creatures of the night wait for you to let them in so they can corrupt you.

Somehow though, this one was different. She was much different from what he expected and somehow, that intrigued him more than it scared him. She could have killed him but she didn’t. She could have eaten him but she didn’t. She had the opportunity, yet she chose not to.

He left the church instead of following his instincts to trap her and lock her away. He left and he decided to rethink everything as she told him to.

What could possibly go wrong?

[sangoqueenkoko]

i "hate" ocean stuff!

some angst, some fluff

wendigoon/reader - BECAUSE THERE ISN'T ENOUGH ANYWHERE-

MAIN MASTERLIST | OTHERS MASTERLIST

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Summary: he hates the ocean, but.. what happens if he meets you? who.. is a resident of the ocean? (Why I thought of this is beyond me)

Warnings? DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE A FEAR OF THE OCEAN‼️ SORRY IF I RAMBLE, IM TRYING TO MAKE MY WORKS LONGER!

"you're a questionable swimmer..."

"...oh no"

this is has inspiration taken from a fan art.

this shit is amazing- DO YOU SEE IT? ahem anyway-

DON’T READ IF YOU HAVE A FEAR OF THE OCEAN!!!!

can't stress that enough, i will not be held responsible for your potential triggers!

THIS THING DISAPPEARED FROM MY DRAFTS FOR A WHILE IT SCARED ME I THOUGHT I DELETED IT OR I POSTED IT ON ACCIDENT WHEN IT WASN’T FINISHED-!

1.5k words-

He has said over and over again in his videos that he absolutely hates the ocean. His hatred was an understatement, if you ever asked him what one of his number one fears was. If that makes sense at all. He has made it very known to his audience about his fear, and they support him for it.

He knows not to push himself.

In his video where he transitioned to him at the ocean, you could actively see the existential dread and uncertainty in his eyes, the look that he does not want to be there. Every little sudden unfamiliar movement nearby or further away, he's skittish. He jumps easily.

He knows not to push himself.

Unlike now.

He found himself at the oceans edge, he wanted to somehow conquer his fear. But it was too much. It overwhelmed him. It restricted him. Made his palms sweaty. His breath laboured. Thinking about what is in the massive body of water and how deep and unknown it is, it unsteadied him. Even the thought of that something could be nearby him. Watching his every move.

The sudden feeling of the cold water hitting his feet scared him. It was unnerving. He was unnerved. The wind blew the cold breeze into his face, it made him shiver. Even if he did have more than one layer on. His fear made him shake. Cold and fear was not a good mix at all.

He decided to take a walk, with a light, of course, to calm himself down as well as warm himself up. He sighed just before he heard something in the water. He aimed his light in the direction he heard it, yet he walked back up the sand to keep away as if something was coming for him. He heard the water lapping again, this scared him more, he moved back so sudden he fell back, gasping for breath as his fall took the air out of his lungs, he kicked his feet to move himself back.

He had enough. He got up and quickly dusted himself off as he walked back up to the top of the beach. He could not handle the cold and fear any longer. He wanted to go home. Away.

He sat in the car with the heating on. His hands in front of the air vent which was warming up. He took some shaky deep breaths, eventually becoming more steady and collected. He was sort of curious to know what made him scared. But also did not want to know, because it could be a shark, or worse, whatever that 'worse' thing could be. He looked out the window, back at the ocean. Only to see nothing but darkness, hearing the waves crashing in the background. Shuddering at the thought, he shook his head and started to make his way back to where he was staying for a while. Away from the water. Away from the fear.

He would not go back to that place. Especially that area. It left him wondering. He wondered what it was. He had to distract himself, think about something else.

So what is better than thinking about your greatest fears?

Researching them! Because that's what he did. He researched what it could have been, even if it kept coming back as reasonable answers, like normal sea life. He kept thinking out the box. If it was anything mythical he's researched in the past, it's very unlikely it's true. Because mythical creatures don't exist, right?

Right?

Well we don't know. The ocean has barely been explored.

That is what he kept thinking of. It made his mind wander.

He eventually fell asleep on his phone while looking at research. Lets just say that he's getting the very much needed rest from today.

A few days later, one morning, he felt... relaxed yet... decent or Okay. As if what happened a few days ago was some sort of a dream. But he didn't dream it. It felt like a thing of the past for him. Except that he had no energy to even get out of bed this morning, he looked for his phone. He fell asleep with it again. It was on the floor. He tried to turn it on. Dead battery. Sighing he sat up and put it on charge.

That day he decided that he would continue with working on his fear. But in the daytime where he could actually see clearly what was around him.

And boy would today be a day he would remember.

Because it was odd that when he got to the ocean-side, barely anyone was there. He sat on some rocks by the water watching the distant sea. The tide was out so that it didn't work him up. Good.

Everything was Okay in his mind. Then the water started to lap again. He gulped. Then came some noises. His nerves came back.

Then he saw something break the waters surface. Scales. They were shiny.

Pretty.

Then he saw the end.. of a tail? Shaking his head, he tried to think of a rational explanation. 'A fish? Stuck in shallow waters? Can't be' he thought to himself. He tried to convince himself that was the case before- 'hair??' He wasn't even in the sea himself and he felt like he was drowning.

Never mind himself for the moment, he was convinced someone was drowning besides himself. And his instincts was to jump in and help. Despite his fear, a human life was more important. Especially if said life is in danger.

Fear aside, he summoned all his bravery and courage to actually try and help this supposed person. Yet his vision was obscured by bubbles and all of that. The shimmer of the light reflected on the scales of whatever dashed by him. Whatever it was, it was not comfortable with him nearby. And much to his surprise, he went deeper than he ever thought.

To the point that he had to try and keep himself by the surface.

Then he saw the thing that spooked him for days, but yet caught his eye.

You.

He was baffled,.. yet intrigued. Like it happened all in slow motion.

You looked gentle with the eye contact you two briefly held, but he knew how unpredictable the ocean is he doesn't know your real strength and what you could potentially do to him.

But the peace and tranquility of this moment was soon shattered by the fact that he remembered that he wasn't like you, you could breath underwater, he couldn't. And once that reality soon set in, he panicked while trying to get back to the surface. And one of the rules about being underwater, especially in the ocean, is to not panic.

Which is what he did.

Your gentle side recognised this and instincts kicked in, you had to help him. You quickly swam over to him and grabbed his arm and pulled, you had never been up this close to the surface so you weren't so sure about helping him seeing as he is from unknown territory for you. Pushing him up towards the surface, he soon went through it. You heard muffled coughs and gasps come from the stranger as the coast approached.

Once he was there and gathering himself and his energy, he looked around to get familiar with his surroundings once again. Looking at the water, all he saw the the bridge of your nose and up. Your eyes piercing his soul. You would not allow yourself to be seen by other humans. But let alone one already. You saw it as a bad omen. To your kind and them.

No words were exchanged between you two the whole time. Mainly because you found yourself fascinated by him and how.. he works, as you had already gathered that he could not breath under water like you could and was not the best of swimmers.

Today you learned so much more about him than you did the other day, when you accidentally scared him. Yet fear in others was a new emotion that you had witnessed and began to learn about. Did you feel bad for them? You.. didn't know. Did you show it? No.

Not caring about the way he currently looked, he walked over on his knees towards you slowly. You looked up at him, keeping your head positioned the same as before. You both maintained eye contact once again. He knew that mermaids were a myth. But he also knew that the oceans were barely explored, so that it was a possibility that they existed. And they do here.

He slowly held his hand out towards you. You moved you head out the water more, to the bottom of your neck. Hesitant, you would slowly extend your hand out to his. They ever so slightly touched.

He recalls your hands feeling soft and smooth from when you helped him out the water. As well as now. But then, he didn't know what caused it, but you immediately retracted your hand, you narrowed your eyes, pupils back to slits like a cat and dove back into the vast body of water. It splashing back at him.

The sudden splash of water made him realise,

he forgot about his fear of the ocean for a while.

And, to him, that felt...

good.

this was fun- may write more- you never know

ehe~ :)

13.1.23 edit: AND. MY FRIEND TAGGED ME IN A TIKTOK, AND SHE SAID IT REMINDED HER OF THIS

AND THIS IMAGE IN IT REMINDED HER. AND ME TOO AAAAAAAA

look at this precious bby

[himbopunk]

okay so i am brainstorming for dragon age au yuvan lore right so

im thinking the heirloom that causes the abilities are a depiction of symbols of falon'din and dirthamen, specifically an owl (or a cloaked figure stylized like an owl) and the spindly pointy parts of a varterral clutching around it. falon'din has this whole thing about travelling beyond the veil where others cant follow and then theres the story about dirthamen going to find him, also falon'dins symbols get attached to lusacan, old tevinter dragon god of night which would carry some similar symbolism for the abilities attached for yuvans ancestors who wouldve lived in tevinter

i think the ability theyd gain from it is like. an echo of whatever that original ability falon'din had might've been. like, we've seen the ways that certain stories about elgar'nan and ghilan'nain were true just in that theyre like insane abilities beyond the scope of any current magic. i imagine like, falon'din's ability to travel some place Beyond what others could percieve had some truth to it, especially since this is before the veil so like what is this Other Place that hes able to occupy? idk.

anyways i think logistically it translates to like a shadowstep type thing, i feel like im cheesing it a bit by just reflavoring some of yuvans original powers but like it works thematically? and elgar'nan has light powers so it makes sense that theres shadow powers around somewhere. and its one of those powers that seems like, regular mage bullshit to anyone unfamiliar w magic but to those who are its like, okay this isnt the fadestep thing or whatever, and this isnt necromancer magic ive seen before, this is something else, youre going Somewhere Else how the hell are you doing that

(also i think it would also be cool if this was an ability originally given to some like, old elven assassin type group during the elven empires war with old tevinter, leans into how yuvan is kind of rogue-y despite being a mage. kind of funny bc its now remiding me of taash's line to lucanis about becoming invisible to a dragon by standing in its shadow or w/e and the idea that this could have actually been something some type of assassin could have done like millenia ago is pretty fun.)

(also since yuvan hung out around skyhold for a bit at like 19ish and almost joined the chargers theres the option for solas to have recognize this is some falon'din magic shit n quietly be like what the hell. yuvan would hate this old man asking him questions though. whats it to you weirdo i dont know you)

ANYWAYS on the yuvan end of things. not sure how the amulet got into his ancestors hands but its at this point a family heirloom given to the chosen son when they come of age (given they are skilled at magic). and though Anyone can be a caster, yuvans family is originally from tevinter which seems to still carry a lot of good old fashioned patriarchal ideas so i think it makes sense that even women in the family skilled in magic would get skipped over (its a Tradition thing its nothing against them) + if the inheritor has no sons then presumably he'd give it to one of his nephews or something

i think their ancestors had activated it with a bit of blood magic to access the full abilities, which then compiled the ability further when the previous user dies, keeping a piece of each user within it idfk. regardless that had long since fallen out of practice (its been like. hundreds of years probably?) and honestly even proximity to the artifact ie whoever had inherited it has some type of further skill in like entropy type magics than even well-studied mages in that field. (perhaps why they moved to nevarra?)

anyways. yuvan has a bunch of brothers, even more than he realizes on account of his father having an affair, and i think his father is considering whether he wants to give the heirloom to one of his sons with the other woman and hides it somewhere. he fights with yuvans mom about this a lot. at some point, being a little shit 12 yr old that he is at this point, yuvan finds and steals the amulet out of frustration with his dad being The Worst all the time. but when hes stashing it away, he cuts his hand on it which basically Activates it and bestows upon him the Whole of the original shadow+entropy abilities. which he now has to both learn to control and hide on top of all the other risks of being a barely trained young mage (i like to imagine he gets cut on one of the varterral limbs, which then clutch around the owl cameo part of the amulet once its activated)

so then you get into the family drama angle. his dad realizes the amulet is missing, it starts a whole fight that results in the outing of his secret second family, and the stress causes yuvan to lash out with the new magic he was struggling to hide, which are obviously stronger than his dads or brothers because he did accidental blood magic to unlock something much older than they did by just being around it. (the outing of yuvans powers around the family secret is always adjacent to him being outed as a trans man, because the horrors are gender affirming. but in this case the horrors had nothing to do with it, he stumbled into the magic likely how he stumbled into the realization of who he was, and was inevitably punished for both)

anyways obviously his family splinters because as upset as everyone is about the whole amulet thing, short of killing yuvan they cant Detach him from it, and more importantly was the reveal of his dads fuckery. yuvan is stuck w his dad, moving in with the Other Family. his dads not. accepting by any means and openly blames him for what happened to the family. he literally only keeps him around because again, cant detach him from the heirloom and he refuses to let the amulet back out of his sight after all this. but after all this he basically outright refuses to train him, not-so-secretly hoping that yuvan will fall victim to a demon and become an abomination and has to be killed, allowing his father to then give the amulet to one of his "real" sons. yuvan instead trains in secret, where he meets mav (who can help a bit due to mourn watch training but only so much cuz this is still a relatively unknown form of magic). ofc his dad gets worse over time, potentially outright threatens his life?? so yuvan bails altogether out of nevarra entirely to make sure hes as far from his family as possible

[liminityy]

i agree with this 100% i would also like to add the aspect where it was capitalism that MADE the humans this way. They didn't just become "dumb and lazy and fat" as tropes around "good times make weak men" tend to propose. Just as in real life.

The company purposely hid the truth from them, literally shielding their eyes with ads and useless gimmicks to keep them occupied. Them being stuck with whatever nutrition was provided to them and being discouraged from activity or thinking too hard, making anything of their own, bc its too "disruptive," (ex: splashing in the pool). People on the ship for generations not knowing any other way of life and just assuming its normal or the only way to survive, and probably getting worse over time. Even the supposed "captain" of the ship who is the most aware of the real world is just a tool for the true mastermind behind it all, the robot left in charge with a programming from hundreds of years ago to regard nothing else but the directive to keep the status quo. The same capitalist ideals that destroyed the earth and left it full of garbage. They realize that they must resist the delusions of capitalism and take proper care of the earth and live with freedom rather than just survive an empty life. Ofc we get a shorthand of this with very little focus bc they don't want to promote "socialist ideals." I imagine they had to be very tactful to get this narrative to push it through and by that end up with messages that are bad. Also the general kids movie "haha fat people" thing as a selling point for the trailers.

I do like the scene in the movie where the shipcitizen Mary(?) was called beautiful and their whole relationship was very cute. As well as how the humans still remained large on earth in the credits scene..in general it was more framed as "effects of space gravity." They never directly insulted anyone, but the fat-phobic angle of the narrative is obvious still. I feel like they tried to handle it with as much care as possible but obv it still falls flat. It seems like was more as a purpose to sell the movie and distract from the underlying narratives they wouldn't have otherwise been able to push, but regardless it is still unfair. It is never a moral failing or should be used as such, often is a product of your environment you don't have control over, as shown in the movie. And even then all bodies are beautiful, lovable, valuable, etc and should be destigmatized by society and allowed to exist.

There are so many layers to this movie and fascinating how much of it parallels real world dynamics like this. I could talk about it for hours.... i would go crazy for a proper sequel or prequel, but it would never happen. i hope im not putting my foot in my mouth lol.

additional bits: the religious implications around EVE's name and design from the perspective of the company and why they did that, as well as religions implications in all this (vault dweller vibes). the gender ambiguity of robots and the "humanized" roles forced on them in general. the question of the hierarchy between them and their lack of care for them as "lesser beings" when in reality they retain more human emotions than the humans, robots being more aware of reality than the humans, the timeline of the humans becoming more and more controlled, what happened to all those left on earth. How they could have cleaned up the earth sooner if they had just bothered to maintain the effort.

it was kind of fucked up for wall-e to be that way about fat people now that im thinking about it

[anonymousewrites]

Portal to My Heart (Book 1) Chapter One

Chapter One: Strange from Space

            Alarms and beeps were going off all around (Y/N). She read through every chart and readout, but nothing seemed to have caused the Tesseract’s spike in energy. An evacuation had been ordered, but (Y/N) and the scientists in the room were still working away until the last minute. Some were attempting to pack up, but the essential instruments were still up and running.

            “Talk to me,” said Director Fury, entering the underground lab.

            “Director,” said (Y/N), walking over. Her voice was serious; her mind on the situation at hand.

            “Is there anything we know for certain?” asked Fury.

            “The Tesseract is misbehaving,” said Dr. Selvig.

            “Is that supposed to be funny?” questioned Fury.

            “No, it’s not funny at all,” said Selvig, “The Tesseract’s not only active, she’s…behaving.”

            “I assume you pulled the plug,” said Fury.

            “She’s an energy source. When we turn the off the power, she turns it back on,” explained (Y/N). She wasn’t a scientist, but she had picked up a few facts after a while. “If she reaches peak level…” She would prefer not to see that.

            “We prepared for this, Doctor. Harnessing energy from space,” said Fury.

            “We don’t have a harness,” said (Y/N), “Our calculations are far from complete.” (Y/N) disliked being unprepared, but she didn’t have the science to control the Tesseract. Nobody on Earth could fully control it.

            “She’s also throwing off interference, radiation,” said Selvig, “Nothing harmful, low levels of gamma radiation.”

            Fury raised an eyebrow. “That can be harmful.” He glanced around. “Where’s Agent Barton?”

            “The Hawk?” Selvig motioned behind him. “Up in his nest, as usual.”

            Using his radio, Fury told Barton to come down. “I gave you this detail so you could keep an eye on things.”

            “Well, I see be better from a distance,” replied Barton.

            “Have you seen anything that might set this thing off?” questioned Fury.

            “Doctors, it’s spiking again,” called a scientist.

            “No one’s come or gone. Selvig and (L/N) are clean. No contact, no IMs,” said Barton.

            Selvig examined the reading with the scientists who reported them.

            “If there was any tampering, sir, it wasn’t at this end,” said Barton.

            “At this end?” repeated Fury.

            “Yeah, the cube is a doorway to the other end of space, right?” Barton shrugged. “Doors open from both sides.”

            “Shit,” muttered (Y/N), watching the energy climb to further heights. None of the controls people were trying to use were affecting it. She could see the Tesseract beginning to crackle with pure power. The ground around her rumbled. Everything’s going to fall apart soon if this continues.

            Suddenly, a beam of light shot out from the Tesseract to the platform they had set up for possible doorways. Unfortunately, this meant Barton’s prediction of the portal opening from the other side was true. And who knew what was beyond that door. The power became a dark orb with small flakes of energy peeling off at the edges as it was propelled out from the beam. In the inky darkness beyond, (Y/N) could see space, filled with stars in constellations she’d never seen. The portal exploded. A wave of energy rolled over the room, shutting down some of the electricity and causing the people to cover their eyes for a moment. (Y/N) could feel the pure power coursing through her, invading every sense. For a single moment, all she could feel was cold emptiness. No sounds greeted her ears. Her eyes saw blue light swirling before them before it all died away. She glanced around, yet no one else seemed to be questioning their senses like she did. Curious, (Y/N)’s eyes followed the energy as it amassed in the ceiling as if hoping it would return and give her answers. Alas, there was nothing but concern for the unstable power collecting above her.

            She tore her eyes away from that to the more imminent danger: the person who was kneeling with a scepter where the portal had been. Smoking remnants of the Tesseract’s power clung to him like blue flames, yet he was unaffected. SHIELD agents approached with their guns poised to shoot. (Y/N) had a feeling they would be useless. The man got to his feet. Even from where she stood, (Y/N) could see the devilish smirk and strange blue eyes of the man. They reminded her of the Tesseract. Dressed in strange armor, it was clear he was not of this world. His smirk fell as he surveyed the room. The air of superiority, however, did not fade. His scepter was raised slightly, ready for use. The strange jewel it housed seemed strangely similar to the Tesseract. (Y/N)’s analytical mind immediately went to thinking of why that was (same element, same home world, same type of power source, etc.). Her more human mind screamed danger.

            “Sir, please put down the spear.” Fury’s words were spoken like a request, but they sounded like an order to all who heard.

            The man looked down at his weapon. His eyes looked down at the humans around him. He fired at the director. Barton quickly tackled him to the side, so the only thing damaged was a computer bank. Immediately, other agents began firing, but the enemy jumped down at them, stabbing them with his scepter and throwing knives he materialized from nowhere. He fired his scepter again, causing a scientist to scream and duck. (Y/N) jumped away from the sparks that sped at her. Barton managed to land some shots on the enemy, but they did seemingly no damaged. They only enraged him. Another blast vaporized an agent. With incredible strength, the green and gold-clad warrior kicked a man aside. Still on edge, he gazed carefully around at his fallen foes and the flaming equipment.

            (Y/N) moved one hand over to a knife one of the deceased agents had in his belt. It was best to be armed in the situation at hand. She watched intently, waiting for any sign of an attack she’d have to dodge. (Y/N)’s eyes widened as the otherworldly man strolled over to Barton and grabbed his arm, forcing him to drop the gun.

            The man smirked. “You have heart.” His voice was smooth and velvety. If he hadn’t already killed so many people, (Y/N) would have thought it a comforting and calming.

            He pressed the tip of scepter to Barton’s chest. Blue light flowed into the agent, his eyes clouding over before turning bright blue.

            Is that what happened to me when the Tesseract activated the portal? (Y/N) furrowed her brow. I believe these are slightly different power sources, so it may be similar, but it may be quite different as well.

            Barton holstered his gun and relaxed slightly. It seemed like he no longer viewed the man as a threat. A blank, brainwashed look was on his face and in his eyes.

            I’m not acting like that, so I probably did not experience the same thing as Barton, reasoned (Y/N). Not being brainwashed by the enemy was a relief, especially since (Y/N) had an intense dislike for people trying to manipulate her. Yes, she worked for SHIELD as a strategist/analyst, but she always made it clear she did what she wanted and wouldn’t be pushed around. She watched as Loki walked around, using the scepter on more agents.

            Eventually, he stopped in front of her. (Y/N) could see his face up close now. There were tired circles under his eyes, as if he was deprived of both sleep and health for a bit of time. She had no time to dwell on these observations, however, as she had to prepare for possibly being brainwashed. (Y/N) reached for her dagger. If she was going down, she would be at least fighting. He raised the scepter to her chest, and she braced herself while pulling out her weapon. However, no power ran through her. She could feel the scepter on her chest, right above her heart, yet nothing seemed to change. There was a burning feeling, like a match being held too close to her skin, but that was all. (Y/N) questioned whether that was the effect of the brainwashing, but the enemy’s furrowed brown indicated that she wasn’t being affected. She took the momentary lapse in concentration to stab him in the arm. He grabbed her wrist with his free hand before she could land it.

            “Hm.” He cocked his head and looked at her.

            (Y/N) scowled at his condescending tone. She dropped the dagger. Before it clattered to the floor, (Y/N) caught it in her free hand. This time, she managed to slash his arm before he used his scepter to disarm her. She had no weapons. She had angered him. She was going to die. (Y/N) clenched her fists and glared at him defiantly. She would die with some dignity.

            The devilish man smirked. “Well, aren’t you an interesting one.”

            He waved his hand, and green light appeared connecting his heart to (Y/N)’s. It faded after a moment, but (Y/N) could feel the icy phantom of the magic (for she had no other word for what it was). She quickly brought her hand to her chest, questioning what he had done.

            While she wondered what had just happened, the otherworldly man turned and spoke to Fury. “Please don’t.” Fury was trying to leave with the Tesseract in a briefcase. The enemy continued, “I still need that.”

            “This doesn’t have to get any messier,” said Fury.

            “Of course it does,” replied the man, “I’ve come too far for anything else.” A strength came into his voice suddenly. “I am Loki, of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose.”

            “Loki, brother of Thor,” realized Selvig.

            (Y/N) had hacked read the reports of the incident involving Thor. He wasn’t a threat to Earth, but his brother qualified. The man in front of her was an annoyed god. This situation isn’t going to end well…

            “We have no quarrel with your people,” said Fury.

            “An ant has no quarrel with a boot,” replied Loki, his meaning clear.

            “Are you planning to step on us?” asked Fury accusatorily. He already knew the answer.

            “I come with glad tidings!” said Loki, strutting across the floor, “Of a world made free.”

            “Free from what?” asked (Y/N) boldly.

            “Freedom,” answered Loki. “Freedom is life’s great lie.”

            (Y/N) narrowed her eyes. There was a slight pain in Loki’s eyes. The blue tint hid it, but it was there nonetheless. Why is he pained talking about freedom?

            “Once you accept that, in your heart…” Loki turned and pressed his scepter to Selvig’s chest. “You will know peace.”

            Dr. Selvig is brainwashed, too. Loki is either trying to brainwash everybody he can or is making sure he gets fighters and scientists. What is he planning? wondered (Y/N).

            “Yeah, you say ‘peace,’ but I kind of think you mean the other thing,” said Fury.

            “Sir, Director Fury is stalling,” said Barton, walking up to Loki, “This place is about to blow and drop a hundred feet of rock on us. He means to bury us.”

            “Like the pharaohs of old,” said Fury.

            “He’s right. The portal is collapsing in on itself,” said Selvig, “We’ve got maybe two minutes before this goes critical.”

            Damn. Until he got Selvig, there was a chance Loki wouldn’t know for sure, thought (Y/N).

            “Well, then.” Loki looked at Barton.

            As if responding to an order, Barton raised his gun and shot Fury in the shoulder. The expert agent then handed the briefcase to Selvig as he, Selvig, Loki, and the other mind-controlled people began to walk out. (Y/N) tore off her coat and pressed a sleeve to Fury’s wound. She may not like SHIELD, but Fury was a good man. He was the only person holding back the higher-ups from manipulating every agent.

            “I wouldn’t recommend staying here,” said Loki, smirking at her.

            “I don’t give a damn,” snapped (Y/N).

            “Oh, dear, it’s not just the portal collapsing. As soon as you are distanced from me, an extraordinary pain will take hold of you, and it shall only grow the farther I go,” said Loki, “You will be useless here.”

            “Perhaps you didn’t hear me the first time: I don’t give a damn,” repeated (Y/N).

            Loki sighed and snapped his fingers. Barton hauled (Y/N) to her feet and pulled her after them.

            “I am not in the mood for such insolence. I normally would not hesitate to destroy you, but as I despise failure, I still need to discover why your mind is so resilient. So behave, dear. There is not much else you can do,” said Loki.

            She glared. “You’re going to end up regretting your actions one way or another, so don’t think my playing along indicates I believe you’re going to win.”

            “I believe you will find that the victor in this situation is most certainly me,” said Loki.

            (Y/N) rolled her eyes. “Whatever makes you feel better.” She glanced back at Barton. “Now can you tell him to let go? I can walk on my own.”

            Loki smirked and nodded to Barton, who let go. With that, they began walking out of the building. Suddenly, Loki doubled over for a moment in pain. He quickly stood up again, glaring around him. He didn’t want to seem weak. His brainwashed men didn’t say anything, but (Y/N) glanced questioningly at him. Something was going on beyond what Loki claimed. She disregarded it, however, as they walked out to where several trucks were parked.

            “I need these vehicles,” said Barton to Hill.

            They walked past and got into two different trucks. Selvig got into the front of one while (Y/N) and Loki sat down in the back. Barton began to walk to the driver’s seat.

            “Who’s that?” asked Hill, eyeing Loki suspiciously.

            “They didn’t tell me,” said Barton.

            (Y/N) kept her face neutral, but she once again noticed how Loki hunched over and was breathing a little raggedly. Maybe all of this was from going through a portal through space, but (Y/N) didn’t think so. She watched as Hill began to walk away before pausing. She and Loki both realized something was off. They heard Fury’s voice faintly through Hill’s radio.

            “Barton has turned!” alerted Fury.

            Barton shot instantly at Hill, who rolled out of the way. He ducked into the driver’s seat and sped away. Hill shot after them but missed. (Y/N) grabbed the edge of the truck to steady herself as they raced out of the building. Loki moved forward as Hill appeared in pursuit. He fired his scepter, destroying another agent’s car. The force of the blast, however, sent him backwards into (Y/N). She half-caught him, half-pushed him away. She was forced to grab onto the truck again as Hill spun the car around to face them. Barton shot towards Hill, who broke the window and returned the attack. Unfortunately, Hill was forced to swerve away because Barton kept hitting her car. Barton kept driving forward, trying to get aboveground.

            From behind them, a boom echoed. The energy residue had finally exploded. (Y/N) watched as the tunnel behind them began to collapse. Just as (Y/N) thought they were going to be buried, they got to open air. Above them, Director Fury’s helicopter was chasing after them. Barton turned and took them into the flat field on the side of the road. Loki stood, facing forward as (Y/N) crouched next to him. Fury began firing down towards them. Several narrowly missed (Y/N). Loki blasted the helicopter, causing it to spin into the ground. Luckily, Fury jumped out. He continued to shoot as the jeep got away.

            (Y/N) watched the lights of the lab grow more and more distant. She hoped that soon people would be organized to fight Loki. Until then, she’d just have to figure out what was going on. She glanced up at Loki’s face. Just what are you up to? What are you hiding?

[enhypia]

JS ; exes

exes answers questions with the choice of drinking instead of answering

pairings: park jongseong x gn!reader

genre: angst, mild fluff

words: roughly 1.7k

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

~guides and warnings~

italics - reader speaking

bold - jay speaking

[enclosed] - interviewer speaking

italicized bold - both reader and jay speaking

[enclosed bold or italics] - question (depends on who's speaking)

heavily inspired by: rec.create lie detector games, cut truth or drink

warning: contains and mentions of !!! drinking, swearing, neglect, breaking up

i don't promote underage drinking, save your livers

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

hello, i'm (y/n)

and i'm jay

we're (awkward eye contact)

uhh we're exes

[you guys were invited here today as exes for a fun little drinking game, you guys were aware of that right?]

yes

yup

*interviewer shuffles awkwardly

sorry it's just, our friends were the ones who signed up for us

yeah, we just found out about it three days ago

[but are you guys still okay with doing this?]

we're okay

just give us a few minutes to get used to environment

*(y/n) chuckles

[okay, for this game, questions will be asked and if you refuse to answer, you drink, it's that simple. are you guys ready? should we start?]

*jay nods

ready as i'll ever be

[how long were you guys together?]

we were together for almost 3 years

[how long have you guys been broken up?]

about a year and a half now

[who broke up with who?]

i did they did

[why did you break up with him?]

so this was all a year and a half ago okay? no coming for jay, he's grown, we've grown

thanks?

you're welcome

*jay laughs

uhh.. it just really reached a point where i felt neglected in a way? and it was just tiring? i kept thinking 'do i deserve this treatment?' and i hated that i was doubting everything, including his feelings. so i just said let's talk about it and then yeah we split up

*jay drinks and (y/n) laughs

sorry sorry

nah i just needed that

[okay, how about we officially start the q&a portion between the of you now?]

*both nod and played rock paper and scissors to determine who gets to ask first, jay wins

*he picks up a card and facepalms after seeing the question

goddamn

should i be scared?

not sure, but you might opt to drink though

[do you blame me for what happened to us?]

oh my god *(y/n) laughs

i know right

so we're unpacking emotions today? okay noted

you can just drink if you're not comfortable with it

i'll drink but i'll still answer, might ease your mind no?

*jay couldn't stop his head from nodding

*(y/n) drinks

i admit that i blamed you at first, but then i got to thinking that it wasn't just you, i was also at fault too since i never really vocalized what i felt? i just let it build up until it reached the point where you couldn't do anything about it anymore, and i couldn't too.

yeah but it's more of my fault since i felt something was wrong but i just brushed it off, i brushed you off.

....

shot?

*jay smiles slightly and both raised their glasses to cheers before drinking

we were both at fault and i don't blame you, jay. i hope you stop blaming yourself

*(y/n) smiles softly then picks up a card to stop any reply they might get from jay

god why are these questions so heavy? it wasn't like this from other episodes

*jay and crew laugh

okay, hit me

[what's your biggest regret about our relationship?]

what the fuck

SEE ?!

*both laugh and jay drinks

okay, next question

no, i'm answering

[we won't stop you but just reminding you both that it's okay not to answer if you drink]

the alcohol releases the unhinged-ness

in other words, this is really just us using the alcohol to actually say what we feel

i think you already the answer, and it's that i didn't do anything about us even if i felt something was wrong. i just kept on focusing on my career that i reached a point where i brushed everything off as nothing. and in the end, while i got the success i wanted, somehow i also feel like i'm on the losing end really.

*(y/n) drinks making jay laugh

what? it's my first time hearing all this !

it was a rough break so

omg is this our closure ???

*jay's eyes widened

and it's filmed ?!?!

*everyone laughs

couple goals *(y/n) does a hashtag

oh wait *(y/n) looks at jay

exes goals *both do a hashtag pose

*they laugh, ignoring the sting in their hearts

okay, okay moving on

*jay laughs again

is it a heavy one again?

nope

[do your friends hate me?]

*(y/n) bursts out laughing

please 😭

we have the same friends

we share a lot of mutual friends

that's why there was like tension for a month in the friend group because no one knew what to do

i'm sorry you had to endure all that friends

remember when they literally made an organized schedule to hang out where we wouldn't see each since the break up was still fresh?

yeah like i got heeseung on tuesdays

and i got him on thursdays

😭😭😭

we love them though, they did their best to console us both

thanks guys <33

*(y/n) picks up a card

goddammit

[do you think we could've actually worked out our problems?]

i think it's unfair that i get a lot of heavy questions

i have the power of god and anime on my side today

i think we could've, if i just had taken the actual time to reflect and sit down and talk, we could've worked it out.

*(y/n) slaps jay's arm

i told you, stop blaming yourself

k

*(y/n) rolls their eyes

*jay picks up a card and

oh

what?

*he is stuttering guys, he is fidgeting

[do you wish we were still together?]

oh

yeah

.....

*both drink

i mean-

*jay has been paralyzed, he did not expect (y/n) to answer

i'm happy where i am right now, maybe there are moments of weakness that the thought crosses my mind but i don't dwell on it too much. i think we're both still learning and growing.

*jay doesn't want to think about the fact that (y/n) never said a clear yes or no

*(y/n) picks up a card and groans

please just drink to this

why?

[what do you think of me now?]

....

drink.

no?

why?

because-

why?

i'm answering

why?

i want to?

no.

right now i'm just really proud of you.

*WORLD PAUSE, (y/n) is malfunctioning

it's a little sad that i didn't get to witness a lot of it but i promise i watched from afar and i'm so proud of you. like it makes me feel lighter in a way? knowing that you're still going and pursuing your dreams. it just made me at ease that -

*(y/n) drinks, looking very much like snow white's apples

are you blushing?

jay i will kick you

*he laughs and pinches (y/n) cheeks making them redder, (y/n) slaps his hands away

i won't hesitate bitch

how about you huh?

[what do you think of me now?]

*jay you should know not to tease too much or else it'll bite you back

i think you're absolutely amazing.

*jay could only blame himself

i am in constant awe and there's this pride that i have in me whenever i see you thriving. it's weird because i thought i'd be bitter about it, but since i knew of your goals and how passionate you were, all i felt was pride. it did hurt a little that i couldn't go "that's my baby!" anymore.

*alert! jay's ears are red and it's spreading to his cheeks and neck

okay next question!

*he quickly picks up a card making (y/n) burst out laughing

everything i said was true though.

hajima. stop. pause. i'm not listening

*(y/n) laughs at flustered jay

this is the last one.

[question for both: if you could tell me anything, what would you say?]

sheesh

same

rock paper scissors? loser goes first

*jay wins

*(y/n) drinks

can you turn around for this one, like don't look at me.

*jay followed

i want to say that,,,, that it's not your fault for putting your future first. it kind of stung since you made me feel like i wasn't a part of it but i know that wasn't your intention. i understand your actions and i don't blame you. if i was in your position i probably would've been the same. i'm sorry that i didn't try harder, like you said we could've made it work but i just got so tired, i hope you can forgive me for that as well.

okay i'm turning around as well, your turn

*(y/n)'s eyes are glassy, but jay doesn't need to see that

i want to say that i'm sorry for neglecting you. i feel like you're tired of me saying sorry but that's really all i could do. i forgive you by the way even if i don't get why you're apologizing to me. i also want to say that, it wasn't you. it sounds cliche but you weren't the reason i became like that, it was me. it was never you. so please don't blame yourself for anything. please don't question your worth because you were more than enough.

yah i didn't want to unpack that

well i still know you and i was given the chance to say it now so

*(y/n) turns around wiping tears, jay is sniffling

i need a drink damn

*(y/n) pours a shot and jay as well, both drink after clinking their glasses

[you guys good?]

*both looks at each other and chuckles

we're good

i can't believe we have to thank our friends for setting this up

*jay groans

[care to answer one last question that is in everyone's minds' right now?]

oh god

is it what i think it is

[will we see you guys be featured again? maybe exes to couples again?]

let's drink!

*both take one last shot and waves to the camera

*(y/n) shrugs and jay winks

bye~

»————-　♡　————-«

bonus: youtube comments (peep last one)

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

a/n: i was planning to post this sooner but my pharma prof suddenly dropped a 6-page activity lmao rip, im scheduling the timestamps i forgot to post last update sorry sorry. my angst skills are subpar forgive me but i tried my best. i hope you like this one too !! jake's will be uploaded next ! please look forward to it <33

[sukirichi]

earned it [06]

Gojo Satoru is a firm believer that if you work hard for it then you shall earn it. But on the other side, he’s not unfamiliar with his own sins. He also believes that there is punishment due for his sins as he’s earned it.

cw. attempted murder and suicide, angst ig i feel nothing at this point because NAOYA 😭

notes. i’m rolling with the earned it jokes that reader is shippable with everyone so HAH enjoy this chapter because I didn’t enjoy the last LMAO (IM SO EXCITED FOR TOJI TO APPEAR!)

series masterlist

Your muscles throbbed, the pounding of your heart felt even through your skin. You’ve spent hours in the training room, taking punch by punch, landing blow by blow – yet no matter how hard you tried, you kept falling on your ass. At this point, your backside was beyond sore, skin drenched with sweat and clothes sticking uncomfortably to the surface. Meanwhile, your ‘savior’ barely felt the need to catch his breath, instead gazing down at you with disappointment written all over his face.

“Why do you expect so much from me?” you panted, fists clenched on the mat. “Didn’t you tell me you just needed me to get your money back and that’s it? I didn’t ask for you to do anything so stop telling me I’m indebted to you all the time.”

Naoya clicked his tongue, clearly disappointed by your lack of resolve. Above you, he swept up his cane and finally balanced himself. You previously thought he didn’t struggle because he looked so calm and composed, easily overpowering you even with his injury, but his lips were strained, jaw clenched tight that perhaps he was just good at concealing his pain. It made you shut up and watch his every move; his back faced you – probably to hide whatever fleeting moment of vulnerability he had.

“I won’t always be there to save your sorry life,” he said calmly, “You need to learn how to be strong on your own no matter how tough it gets. Now if you’ll keep complaining instead of finishing your training, I could happily lock you up and force you to do my dirty work for me.”

“Then why don’t you go ahead?!”

“I don’t want to,” Naoya responded without missing a beat. He easily closed the distance with a few staggered steps, his head tilted to the side as he surveyed you.

You wondered what went through his mind. Did he see a weak woman? A woman who must be so helpless, so useless that you stayed there, legs too tired and muscles aching too much you couldn’t move? There was no telling with Naoya, and his guarded gaze didn’t help either. Satoru had always been difficult to read at most, but with Naoya – it was practically impossible.

Even as he cupped your chin and twisted it sideways, his eyes narrowed over all your features like he saw something you didn’t, he was too guarded.

“I need you in taking down Gojo Satoru. In order to accomplish that, I have to use his weakness against him. You showing up won’t be enough. No, I want to hurt him…and what better way than to take what was once his, right? Dangle right in front of his eyes what he let go of, make him regret his actions?” his smile turned dark, and for the first time since you’ve met him, you got a glance of what his heart really looked like.

It wasn’t true that Naoya was heartless – no, he just had a dark, sinister heart that didn’t beat the same tune as others. He played his own music with the bones of his enemies, drinking their lifeline from a gold cup and drowning in them, his ominous laughter the perfect antithetical melody of what could’ve been angelic hums.

“Don’t you want that?”

His question made your heart skipped a beat. This whole time, you’ve been so hell bent on achieving something, but what you wanted to reach had never been clear. You were too driven by emotions, by the pain Satoru’s absence had caused, and now that the opportunity was presented before you, you faltered.

“I don’t know what I want.”

“Well, if you ask me what I want…” he tilts your chin up with his finger “It would be to see you strong enough that even you would be capable of taking me down. So be strong, keep fighting – I’ll be there with you every step of the way. You only have one job, and that is to live. I am not allowing you to give up at the slightest of minor inconveniences.”

“And if I get weak?” you questioned with an oscillating tremor, the bite of his cold skin against your heated ones spiking. “If I want to give up? Would I fail you then?”

“I don’t think you’re someone who cares about failing others, so don’t fret whether you’d please me or not,” Just like that, Naoya’s scornful tone had risen again. He let go of you until you dropped down to your palms, blinking back at the sudden change of atmosphere. “Like I said, just do what you need to do, keep going. Don’t look back or be afraid to take the next big step because I’ll always be there right beside you.”

“Why should I trust you?”

“I’m not asking you to, princess,” he snickered, already half way to the door that only he was allowed to go in. Even though you’ve been staying in his manor for quite some time, there were still some things Naoya didn’t trust you with, leaving you only more curious to find out the secrets within.

“Only time will tell. But once you’ve made your decision, know that my ring is always waiting beside your table,” his voice echoed through the large room, stopping in his tracks to look at you once more. This time, he had no haunting features, only the cold emptiness likened to staring back to an infinite void of nothingness.

“I expect an answer when I get home.”

You still remembered the day you decided to wear his ring. Naoya had come then, tired and aggravated from matters he didn’t bother explaining. You stood on his doorway, lips shut tight as you nervously fiddled with your ring, unsure if whether you should tell him or allow him to piece the puzzle himself.

Thankfully, Naoya was a lot more observant than you gave him credit for.

His eyes slid over your face before he followed the motion of your fingers, smirking as the jewel glinted under the bright lights of his home. Wise choice, he’d once told you, and you believed it.

Your life hadn’t been the same ever since. Your spontaneous marriage equated to hellish training of perfecting your image as his trophy wife, spending hours in his secret laboratory and discussing business plans through a glass of wine. Naoya wasn’t around much to teach you everything and it pained him to be your own trainer too so you had to ask help from his guards, refusing to give up and fall down even as your muscles screamed at you to take a break. For Naoya, with Naoya, giving up and running away felt like a myth; a buried solution in the past that should never be brought up again. But now that he was gone, you did exactly that.

You’d given up. Satoru had made you run away.

“Miss,” a deep voice cut you from your thoughts. You tore your gaze away from the  glowing night city of Milan to turn to Satoru’s right hand man, the tall figure looming rather shyly instead of imposingly. “You haven’t eaten since we got here. Would you like anything? Mr. Gojo will cover your expenses.”

“I want to go home.”

He froze at your deadpan statement. Finally meeting your gaze under his lashes, Geto pursed his lips. “You know we can’t do that, Miss. It’s unsafe back in Japan.”

“And who’s to say Toji won’t follow us here?” you snapped, pushing your weight off the Cleopatra set and uncrossing your legs. “Why can’t your stupid boss just activate the account and give it back to us? I think we’ve made it clear we’re more than capable of handling our finances, and I’m pretty sure Satoru doesn’t need any more money when he can afford all this.”

“Mr. Gojo…has his reasons for everything he does.”

You laughed bitterly. Maybe it was the fact that Satoru had left this morning for whatever business he had that you didn’t have anyone else to let your anger out to that you’d swiped your gun under your thigh holster and dashed his way.

Geto’s back slammed against the wall, the cool barrel of your gun pressed to his jaw. He swallowed nervously, eyes darting to your weapon, and you laughed heartlessly. “Oh, please, do tell because nothing makes sense,” you crooned, flipping the safety off and letting your heated gaze meet his rather docile ones. You almost felt bad for him. Almost.

“I could easily put a bullet through your head and hijack his plane. I’ll be gone before you know it and who’s to stop me from doing that? Why should I stay here any longer with you?”

“Because your husband asked you to,” Geto responded softly. You stepped back with wide eyes, yesterday’s event crashing all over you once again. He must’ve sensed you no longer held any hostility because he used his pointer finger to move the barrel away from him, gently peeling your hands off his suit. “Because you know, if you go back to Japan, there will be nothing waiting for you there.”

You balled your fists. “I will kill Fushiguro Toji myself. Then I’ll kill Satoru.”

“Even if he used to be your lover?”

“Especially because he used to be my lover.”

Okay…maybe your plan of escaping and returning to Japan hadn’t worked out that well. Exhaustion finally crept up to your senses that you passed out not long after attacking Geto – who reassured you to no end he wasn’t mad you tried to kill him – and days have passed ever since. You hated to admit it, but being stuck in an overseas hotel wasn’t so bad. Geto’s presence was a lot more comforting than his master’s that you didn’t mind having him watch your every move. Plus, he was really nice to immediately follow your every whim. You wanted hot chocolate? Extra pillows? A really expensive wine that you refused to pay for because you were petty and dramatic? He provided it all without question.

Except he probably should have, because you’d stripped off to your underwear, head tipped back to take one final swig of the nearly empty bottle as you slid deeper into the tub.

Your fiery nature of rolling your eyes at Satoru every time he came around (which was rare, for some reason) couldn’t fool anyone – not even yourself. The moment Geto retired to the living room, you would bite the pillows to muffle your cries, thinking back to when Naoya was still alive. It was an endless torment of what if you had stayed, what if you had pushed the rubble off him, what if you just saved him?

Would he still be alive? Would he have survived? Would you be back with him in the Zen’in Estate instead of holding your breath under the tub in a desperate attempt to conceal your tears?

It hurt so bad. It hurt everywhere.

Your lungs begged you to rise up and breathe, but you stayed still under the water, eyes shut tight and hands clenched around the tub’s edges so hard your knuckles turned white. Soon, you grew dizzy and your grip slipped away. Finally, fucking finally, you were falling, falling way too deep that your legs bent inside the tub. Bubbles erupted from your lips in one last breath. At the back of your mind, you let out a sincere laugh for you’d meet your husband soon. He’d be disappointed, probably scold you all the way to the afterlife – until strong arms pulled you out of the tub and into someone’s chest instead.

“Shit, what are you doing?! You could’ve drowned!”

You coughed out water and fisted Satoru’s button-up shirt that had now clung to his skin from the water. Looking around you, you were still very much alive, the uncomfortable twisting of your heart a painful reminder of that. Above you, Satoru sat you in his lap while he remained cross-legged on the floor, muttering curses under his breath as he wrapped a towel around you.

Scoffing, you pushed his hands away, though you kept the towel anyway to lessen your shivering. Why the fuck was the AC so damn strong here?

“Dying seems like a better option, don’t you think?” you snarled at him, teeth chattering from the chill that had begin to seep in.

Momentarily, you worried on how much of a hot mess you probably looked like. Smudged eyeliner, wine-stained lips, unbrushed hair and remnants of the wine mixing with the once clear bath water – you shook your head at the thought and glared at Satoru.

“Where the fuck have you been?”

“I was out contacting friends to ask for help. We’re going to need a hundred pairs of eyes watching anywhere that Toji could possibly come through.”

“Is this your pathetic idea of ‘keeping me safe’? Locking me up in this stupid hotel and having your man watch me all the time?” you pushed yourself off him, the sudden motion of standing up giving you wobbly legs. Satoru reached over to steady you but you slapped his hand away, your glare warning him to not take another step.

Seeing his face, seeing him worried as if he didn’t just cause your life to turn into absolute hell, you wanted to grab the wine bottle and smash it right at his pretty face. He had no right to look at you with pity.

You hated him, utterly and terribly despised this man with your entire being.

“What are you really planning, Satoru? Why can’t we just come back home and attack Toji with all we’ve got? Why don’t you just give back our fucking money so we can end all this for once and for all and I can leave?!”

“Because I don’t have the money!”

“What?”

“The money…” Satoru’s back slid off the wall, his palm coming up to thread through his hair. He sounded weak, defeated. “I don’t have it.”

“Gojo,” you snatched him by the collar, teeth bared as you demanded, “What do you mean you don’t have it?”

Satoru paled. “When I stole the money from the Zen’ins, the figures were all fake. They’re not real, there’s no actual money hidden behind their accounts and it was too late before I realized that,” his lips trembled as he continued, “Whatever Toji placed in there, it’s not his actual account where he hides everything and it would make sense too because I stole it too easily – almost as if they wanted me to take it. A few hacks here and there and it was immediately wired to me but after meeting you…” Satoru shook his head, chin dropped down low. “I checked again and the account never existed. It’s a fake one. The digits are just there for show.”

“So then why would Toji want it? Why did my husband have to die for nothing?!”

“I don’t know, okay, I don’t know anything!” he argued back until your faces grew closer, his nose brushing with yours.

Somehow, you couldn’t pull away. His knees had drawn up, forcing you to rest on his thighs as you both breathed heavily, your grip on his collar almost havered.

“Whatever the Zen’ins are hiding, that’s beyond me. I may be in the business for far longer than they have, but they have always been notorious with their possessions that I’m not surprised even I can’t find where it really leads back to. Whatever Toji is hiding there, your husband must’ve known something about it. Why else would they fight tooth and bone over it?”

“If there was, Naoya would’ve told me about it.”

“He would if he trusted you,” Satoru suddenly grabbed your wrist and shook it until you stared at your ring. “How are you even so sure he could trust you with that information? Have you forgotten you’re just a pawn to his game and you’re nothing but a bed warmer?”

“Don’t you ever speak about us that way. You don’t know how much he cared for me.”

“If he really did, then why didn’t he tell you why his cousin is after you? He’s using you as bait, Y/N. I’m not the bad guy here. That man you’re so deeply in love with? I can’t guarantee he’s better than me. We’re all men in the mafia, love is the last thing we would care about.”

You pushed yourself off him.

His words stung too much, not because it was a lie, but because you know there was some sort of truth ringing behind it. You trudged out of the bathroom and sat on the bed, unstirred by the fact you dripped all over the carpeted floor. From behind you, Satoru’s rushed footsteps echoed, but you didn’t care. You simply threw on a robe with your back turned to him.

“And you’d know that better than everyone right? Considering how easy it was for you to leave me?” When Satoru didn’t respond, you chuckled humorlessly and sat on the bed. “What Naoya and I had…it was a friendship that healed my soul. I don’t…I don’t know what to do without him.”

“Friendship?”

You smiled sadly. “I wasn’t actually in love with him, idiot. Men like Naoya don’t know what love is, but he sure does know how to protect family.”

The notion of talking about him, of accepting that maybe he really was gone…somewhat reliving.

Satoru was the last person you wanted to talk to your late husband about, but Geto – which is the much better company – wasn’t around, and you hugged your knees to yourself, refusing to let Satoru see through your vulnerability.

“You know, I trusted him more than I did myself. He was always there for me, no matter what. His soul was dark, angry, corrupted – he’s not the man I would fall for, but despite all that, he was the friend I needed,” you buried your face in your knees, voice muffled as you cried, your heart shattering again and again and again.

The ring on your finger had never felt so heavy ever since you wore it.

“I loved him as much as I hated you.”

Satoru was silent, so much so that you wondered if he was even in the same room at all. You sat there crying, too hopeless to even try to conceal it anymore. Shivering, you close your eyes and forced the image of Naoya’s last moments away from your memories, desperately praying to whoever had mercy that you could just forget all about it.

“Geto told me you tried to kill him,” Satoru murmured after a beat, “You could’ve easily escaped and went back to Japan if you wanted to, so why didn’t you? Was it because of me?”

You remembered what you tried to do today.

Just like that, Naoya was alive once more. You were brought back to the day of your wedding when he’d clasped your sweaty, clammy hands in his, rubbing some warmth in them before pressing a kiss at the top of your knuckles. He’d asked you to promise him something then – an entire contrast from his constants orders over your well-being – and it was a promise you’d momentarily forgotten; a promise you’d broken out of mourning.

“Naoya once told me,” you reminisced through dry, cracked lips and even more shattered heart, the picture of his disappointment as clear as day. “Death was the only place he can go where he would never allow me to follow.”

It took a lot, but it somehow got better. After allowing yourself a faint moment of weakness where Naoya resurfaced in your mind to remind you of our promise and your purpose, you felt stronger, somewhat steadier with each step you took. You were still wary around Satoru, although that was a given.

His friend, Geto, was really nice, on the other hand, and you couldn’t explain why you always lowered your guard around the formal dark-haired assistant.

You and Geto were playing chess when Satoru barged in out of nowhere, a plate and a syrup condenser on his hand. “So I got you breakfast,” was his greeting, nodding at Geto once as a silent order to give you two privacy. You pouted as the latter left, but soon your attention had been diverted to the heavenly aroma filling in your senses. Seeing your approval, Satoru hid a smile behind his dark sunglasses. “Still like pancakes?”

“Trying to get into my good graces now?”

“I’m just trying to cheer you up.”

You rolled your eyes but snatched the plate from him anyway. “So I talked to my lawyer,” you begun, pouring syrup all over the fluffy bread until it was almost spilling to the sides. Beside you, Satoru’s snickers were barely muffled, to which you ignored wholeheartedly. “They’ve already processed my inheritance over Naoya’s possessions and assets. Once we return to Japan, I’ll be the next leader of the Zen’in Clan, much to the disappointment of his elders, of course, but they can’t do anything about it,” you informed him with your fork hanging in mid-air, the words falling thickly. “You know what that means, don’t you?”

“That we’re back to being enemies?”

You offered him a sarcastic smile. “Naoya lied about strengthening his alliance with your family. He doesn’t actually give a fuck about you.”

“I figured that much,” he snickered to himself, shifting his weight until his elbows rested on his thighs. “Listen…a friend of mine is flying to Milan tonight to meet us. They have strong connections with banks all over the world and they brought in some information about that hidden Zen’in account. I think we’re finally getting off to somewhere and finding out what really is in there,” Satoru gauged for your reaction, but you kept eating – more like stuffing the pancakes inside your mouth for you were finally free of having to act perfect without your husband.

Satoru’s hand landed on top of yours. “I promise…I’ll give it back to right where it belongs. As soon as it’s wired back to you, I’m setting you free.”

You stared at the unwanted figure over you, and you snatched your hand back, waving a bread knife below his lashes. “You can’t set me free when I was never yours,” you sang breathily, the tip of the blade hovered right at his lips. Satoru raised a brow at you, but you quickly retrieved the knife back with widened eyes. “Now that you mention it…I think Naoya told me something about his family stashing secret weapons and even heirlooms through offshore accounts and buried under islands. He was a little sleepy during that time but I remember it,” pushing the plate away from you as you lost your appetite, you clutched your palms under your chin in thought. “He said he was looking for something he lost as a child, possibly an heirloom.”

“He’s doing all this for heirlooms?” Satoru immediately coughed his words back when you glared at him, raising his hands in surrender. “I mean, I was just saying. I didn’t think he was a sentimental type of guy.”

“The question here is what both Toji and Naoya could’ve both wanted from that account. It’s not just an heirloom, obviously there’s something there worth more than money,” You argued and slapped your knees, heading straight to your (unfortunately) shared room. “Whatever. I’ll get this over with as soon as I get the money back.”

Satoru, as always, was hot on your heels. It annoyed you how he trailed over you like some sort of puppy or shadow – Naoya had always been too classy to not give you space.

The difference between them just kept getting more and more uncannily obvious.

“Whoa there, stop. Did you really think I’d give back the money to you and that’s it? Are you forgetting the fact Toji is out there to kill you just so he can have his hands on it?”

“He can have the money for all I fucking care,” you shrugged and sat on your bed, scrolling through numerous piles of emails and records that Naoya entrusted you to keep. Surely you could find something. “I just need to find whatever Naoya’s spent his whole life killing for.”

“Why don’t you care about the money? Didn’t Naoya expect you to take over his business?”

Your thumb froze over a file. Suddenly, your throat grew dry, and you quickly flashed Satoru a stinky eye. “I-it’s not my main concern.”

“It’s not safe for you. If Toji finds out—”

Got it. You bookmarked an email Naoya had forwarded you around three years ago and resent it to an old friend, pocketing the phone back to your pyjamas before Satoru could see. “I’ll handle it. I’ve been doing well so far before you came into our lives again,” you finalized, stopping for a bit as you waited for that all-too familiar footfall matching with yours, only for the room to be coated in silence.

Satoru stood there on the other side of the room, eyes deep in thought before he sighed. “I’ll meet you at the hotel restaurant tonight. We have a lot to discuss on what our next move should be,” nodding once, Satoru left the room.

The hotel room was eerily silent.

Dinner came around faster than you expected. With Geto out to run some errands for Satoru, something about ‘establishing bases’ or whatever, you were locked in your room, using Naoya’s black card to get enough amount of clothing to last you for your stay here. Even though Satoru had promised he’d take care of everything, you didn’t want to be in his debt for any longer. You weren’t his, you were Naoya’s, and you shot down his curious looks when heaps of shopping bags had been delivered to your door.

An hour later, you left the room, struggling to zipper the back of your dress. Satoru was already in the living room buttoning up his suit jacket, just as handsome as ever (though you’d never tell him that.)

His hands froze in the last button once his eyes landed on you, and you huffed at him, too distressed to even act cute or bothered while pointing to your dress. Satoru strode to you in three long steps, his cold fingers brushing against the dip of your spine when he clutched on the zipper.

You had to bite your lip down to prevent the shivers from spilling through, his lips dangerously close to your ear as he whispered, “You look great.”

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

If Satoru was bothered by the lack of sincerity in your voice, he didn’t comment on it. He removed his hands from you and watched as you slipped black velvet gloves through your arms – just in case you had to end up killing someone; leaving fingerprints was a risk you couldn’t take.

“Did you really get dressed to kill?”

“I came here to negotiate,” you corrected, “I’ll do everything I can to find out whatever’s behind that offshore account. And you, sir,” Frowning at him, you pulled Satoru closer by the tie, perhaps a little too harshly since he nearly knocked his head with yours. He was quick to steady himself as you fixed his tie, flattening it down with your fingers. “You need to know where you should stick your nose in. This is more my business than yours so don’t get in my way acting all hero and shit. I assure you I can handle myself.”

“You’re really going to berate me for worrying about you?”

“You can no longer worry about me,” you disclosed, snatching your black purse from the counter before doing the come hither motion at his shock-still figure. “Now let’s go. We have a case to crack.”

“Case to crack? You sure sound like a detective.”

You snickered, but made no further comment. The elevators dinged and you arrived at the restaurant, which you really regretted not visiting soon enough because the place was grand. Red carpeted floors, golden chandeliers, soft jazz music playing in the background as the lights dimmed down low, the faint clinking of utensils against plates and light chatter of the guests so heartbreakingly nostalgic.

It seemed that even after his death, Naoya had every intention to never leave your side. The setting reminded you too much of your never-ending late night fancy dinners.

Naoya being Naoya, he didn’t blink twice in flaunting his money and renting out entire restaurants all for himself, claiming that he just ‘wanted to have an intimate moment with his wife.’ Sure, it mostly consisted of you discussing what move you should make next, but it was the most affectionate gesture you’ve received after spending years in the quiet and cold environment of the Zen’in Estate.

The outside world wasn’t any better when you and Naoya were marked as targets by the entire government, so it made sense, that only with him that you’d find comfort in.

You must be so out of it you never even noticed Satoru leading you to your seat, a warm meal that should’ve been comforting right under your nose. It was too much – too similar that you headed straight for the wine, ignoring Satoru’s questioning gaze. You noticed from the corner of his eye that he opened his mouth too many times in an attempt to make light conversation, but this dinner wasn’t for you to rekindle your old flame.

No, you were here to wait for his ‘friend’ and review important matters. You were determined to fulfill that purpose alone and only that alone that you never once made eye contact with him, even standing up to reach the salt shaker near him instead of asking him to pass it.

Just as you leaned back to your seat, the music grew louder. A foreign man walked to the stage where he was basked in the spotlight, all heads turning to him when he tapped the microphone, sending little echoes all over the hall. “Ladies and gentlemen, let’s loosen up tonight with a drink and bring our lovers out here on the dance floor,” he sang while swaying side to side, snapping his fingers to the beat that had turned into calming to sensual. “It is a fine evening, isn’t it? Come on, don’t be shy, the night is still so young!”

You dropped your fork beside the plate. “Did you know about this?”

“I swear, I had no idea.”

“Those two attractive lovers in table 42, the dance floor is still much too spacious!”

“Pretty vulgar for a five star hotel,” you commented under your breath and dabbed the pasta sauce off your lips with a napkin, slapping it down the table as you stood up – much to Satoru’s surprise who’d tried to make himself invisible from the host’s eyes. Stupid him; did he really think he could blend in with his sunglasses and snow white hair?

If you were to be honest, you’d rather choke on shrimp than dance with him, but you had an image to upkeep. If you couldn’t gather with the crowd and pretend to be one with others, both your true natures would be fished out even with innocent eyes. You were left with no choice but to be comfortable in the dance floor, sighing deeply as you placed your hands down on Satoru’s wide shoulders. He furrowed his brows at you but said nothing else; strong, cautious hands sliding down from your back before they settled at the curve of your hips.

“Keep your hands to yourself, Mister. I won’t hesitate to stab a fork through your jugular right here.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I know you’re not my little angel anymore.”

Angel. It was what he used to call you back then – when you were still but an innocent, naïve being who never believed in monsters until you fell for one.

He was right; you were no longer his angel. The woman he loved had been left abandoned in the street, the purity of her soul tainted with anger and heartbreak that soon bathed in blood and the need for revenge. His angel was no more – the woman he danced with was nothing but a replica of the face and body he adored the most. Now, you danced with him, not as his angel and neither as his rival’s wife, but simply as a woman whose kindness had long vanished into thin air.

Satoru danced with the devil.

And he should be disgusted just as you should be repulsed with how sickeningly smooth and graceful he was in everything he did, but the wine – yes, it was the fucking wine – messed with you that you actually enjoyed it. Your bodies moved in rhythm and syncopated with the beat, the romantic high notes of the violin and the tender embrace of deep trebles like a classical painting coming to life and you were its subjects to be expressed.

Perhaps…you were just sad. You grieved and mourned too much you’d momentarily forgot what love was, in turn making you forget what it felt like to be constantly unsafe and peeking over your shoulder in case someone tried to kill you.

Satoru just felt so warm, so safe and alive that you found your head dipping lower, your muscles relaxing around his soothing and undeniably tender touch, the space between your bodies diminishing until you surrendered to the power of your desire. You were so close, your ear about to press on his chest to listen to the blissful sound of someone’s reassuring heartbeat along with the music, and then you saw him.

A tuft of blonde hair, a chiseled face, a nude cream suit and a deep blue shirt beneath – what the fuck was he doing here?

The spell was broken in an instant.

Satoru must’ve been under the same trance for his hand trailed lower to pull you closer, your chests grazing with one another before you placed your palm flat on his body, lips thinned into a grim look that resonated with the sick, twisting feeling in your guts.

“I,” you croaked out, clearing your throat when it went dry. “I need to go to the ladies.”

You left Satoru without another word, bunching your dress up to run to where he had disappeared. He was still walking coolly and inspecting the paintings hung in the empty lobby with faux interest – although knowing him, the bastard probably did enjoy classical pieces and studied about them in his free time; which he didn’t have much to begin with.

As if sensing your presence, he stopped right in front of a replica of The Sleeping Venus, his hands dug deep in his pockets. “The shape of being is the visual demonstration of a state of being in which idealized existence is suspended in immutable slow-breathing harmony. All the sensuality has been distilled off from this sensuous presence, and all incitement; Venus denotes not the act of love but the recollection of it. The perfect embodiment of Giorgione’s dream, she dreams his dream herself,” he narrates in his baritone voice, “A little cordial, is it not?”

You took your gun out from your thigh holster and lowered it right at the back of his skull. “Don’t move another inch.”

“No need to be so hostile in a public setting, Y/N. I’m only here to look out for you and making sure you’re not forgetting who you are. Killing me isn’t part of the plan.”

“Neither was murdering my husband,” you growled, pushing the barrel harder against him, though the man didn’t budge before you. “I know that it wasn’t Toji who set off the bomb, Kento, you did.”

“We simply saw an opportunity that couldn’t be wasted. Two notorious mafia leaders in an unsuspecting supposed safe environment?” The fact he didn’t even deny it left you speechless. Kento spun around until your gun rested between his eyes, and he languidly pushed his glasses up his high nose as he looked down on you. “We could’ve killed two birds with one stone had you not been in the way.”

“You guys are out to kill me too now?”

“Don’t act too surprised. The Organization isn’t patient enough to wait for both leaders to die.”

“So you killed my husband?!” you argued, “He was my friend, I told you not to touch him!”

“Only in the exchange that you hand him to us,” Kento echoed, jogging your memory until you were kept up to date. “But it’s been five years and what has happened so far? You’re fraternizing with the enemy and even manufacturing drugs for your so-called husband. Now that he’s dead, you’re here in Italy, looking as stunning as ever as you wine and dine with a former lover,” Kento tilted his head to the side to study your appearance – smiling at how you seemed too bright and fashionable for a woman in supposed mourning.

“I hardly believe you’re actually affected by this at all.”

“How dare you! I’ve proven to no end my loyalty of the higher-ups!”

Kento didn’t bat an eye at your outburst. If anything, he stepped closer to your weapon. “Kill me if you wish, Y/N, but know the moment you put a bullet in my head, the Organization will place you on the same pedestal as Naoya’s and Gojo’s. I wouldn’t recommend such methods considering we’re already at unease on whose side you’re really on. If you do this, you will be our enemy.”

“I did everything for the Organization. What else would you want from me?”

“The contract was easy. We want both leaders – whether dead or alive – in our custody. If you don’t hold your side of the deal, it’s not only your life that we’ll take from you,” Kento pulled out a red coin that made your heart sink deep into your stomach for it served as a threat over the consequences of your actions.

He lowered your gun with the coin and smirked at you, his lips right beside the shell of your ear as he purred, “I suggest you be careful with what step of action you take next.”

“Oi, Nanami, you’re here!” Satoru’s voice suddenly boomed in the hallway. Nanami was as unbothered as ever from taking a step away from you, nodding to your gun which you quickly concealed right before Satoru arrived. You were frozen – rendered immobile with the flashing red metal from his palm – that you couldn’t even protest against Satoru wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “I see you’ve met Mrs. Zen’in already.”

“Hmm, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Madam,” taking your hand in his, Kento’s eyes were nothing but eerie as he kissed your knuckles. “Shall we start our discussion?”

SUKI RANTS! Nanami quoted Sydney Joseph Friedberg (an art critic) in one of his dialogues. A little backstory on the painting was that the portrait was originally made by Giorgone, who had a student and also his lover (if I’m not mistaken) called Titian. Giorgone never finished the portrait because he died from the plague but Titiane finished it for him, symbolizing that Y/N still has a mission that connected her from Naoya even after his death and she has to finish something he started. The portrait is of a nude woman that symbolized oneness of nature and that the woman isn’t posed for the gaze of men, but rather they are dreaming, hence the quote: “Venus denotes not the act of love but the recollection of it. The perfect embodiment of Giorgione’s dream, she dreams his dream herself.” Nanami said the painting’s meaning resonated with Y/N’s situation too much since she wasn’t in love with Naoya, but she had a recollection of their moments that still represented their relationship, and that Naoya’s dream (goals) are also shared by Reader. I was gonna ask you guys what your theories are on that scene but I think this makes me sound cooler if I explain it so *lip bite emoji because I’m still broken over Naoya’s death*

taglist open (lmk if you want to be added/removed):

@sixeyesgojo @shingekiyofeels @q-the-rockaholic @whatthefuckisthatthing @rogueofbullshit @kat-su-ki @kellyyween @sebootyforlife @asshxcm @charlie-xo @aoi-turtle @ladywaifuuwrites @savantsoulfinder @my-reality-is-in-my-head @hannya-quinn @90s-belladonna @tinyfrogsinmybrain @kinekyuroo @evesmores @ambiguous-something @lilith412426 @kakashiharusohma @aizawap @yumeneji @dora-the-grownup @jotazinha @themrsgojo @d34r-s4t4n @marai-t @toji-bee @hai-cool @badsadbby @stesphy @peach-buns-unicorns @misslezah @gracefullyfallinglikeanime @iwaplant​ @mikiminaccch​ @riri-marley​ | bolded users cannot be tagged

[orange-coloredsky-archive]

my lovely follower i do not mean to put you on blast because genuienly i think your tags/thoughts on my elden ring posts are great and i appreciate them. they just also spur my thoughts on why i think godwyn is Kinda Meant To Look Like That For a Reason And Im Very Glad He Does. and why i think to have him look essentially like himself sleeping with some roots would defeat one of the many points his presence as a character brings to the story

having godwyn be a bloated fish corpse thing seems very symbolic and deliberate. to have him remain a incorruptible body would serve to prove the golden order's power over the world as righteous. the wrongness of his current condition in relation to what is deemed a "true death" by society at large as well as the fact that he died at all is meant to put into question the inherent truth of the order. this is kinda fia & TWLID's whole deal! there's also the connection to the japanese myth of the ningyo, which is brought up in a pretty popular zullie the witch video on godwyn's appearance so i wont rehash it here.

elden ring touches heavily on how legend and crafted cultural narratives form and are dismantled. we dont see much of godwyn's original form outside of the scene where he's actively being murdered with his back is turned to the viewer; him face-down after dying; a close up of his eye as he's overcome by deathblight; and the one statue in the haligtree that is unconfirmed to be of him holding a young miquella and malenia. everything else about him is written or spoken descriptions of him from items or people who either bought into the legends of the golden lineage for the sake of simplicity/assimilation or for the purpose of continuing to uphold the faith. or because (in miquella's case) they're simply grieving the loss of their beloved older brother. he's spoken of as a beautiful hero, as kind and diplomatic as he is powerful etc etc. you are given a mental Image of godwyn from tales and statues, and to "meet" him is meant to make that image collapse. and what better way to do so than to find his body at the bottom of the erdtree's roots -- swollen and festering with flies and just looking crooked and Wrong. godwyn, despite doing everything "right" in the eyes of the Order, is no more incorruptible than his siblings who graft dismembered body parts to themselves, or feed themselves to snakes, or suffer from curses. to have him not be so drastically changed simply would not have made as much of an impact in that matter.

also with his relationship to ranni as the soul who died so her body could die, is that both of them are rendered completely unrecognizable. what they once were is unimportant. this connects to the above paragraph about legends being crafted as well as him being a symbol for fia & TWLID. in becoming a grotesque remnant from his golden form, hes become another legend -- another symbol for a people to craft narrative around. how the once noble demigod was killed and became one of them.

of course people can draw whatever the hell they want. i love seeing art and headcanons of godwyn being alive & having a fish tail or other aquatic features -- i think its fun and interesting. but from a storytelling perspective i think to have him be in his normal body with only little changes to him in his state of undeath kinda misses the purpose of why godwyn is... godwyn.

looooove when i rb art of godwyn elden ring and one of my friends is like "is there. a merman in elden ring" out of intrigue and the answer is yes!!! but also. look out !!!!

[tangledstarlight]

...i said i was going to make it and well, here we are i guess. im so sorry for this.

Carlos Molina’s to Guide to Ghost Hood (title subject to change) 

welcome to the 1st edition, maybe i’ll make a 2nd if i get inspired enough but also, this is such a mess already i don’t think the world needs a part 2 dfghg

Link to the power point is in the first reblog. (i’d highly recommend watching it for the full experience dfgh)

Link to ao3 also in the first reblog. 

below the cut is the accompanying fic and description of the rules/guide.

The tape recorder lets out a low buzzing sound as Carlos presses a button on the side and stands it up between them on the dining room table. Julie shoots an amused glance at Reggie who’s taken up residence in the chair next to him, the two of them flipping open notebooks and clutching pencils. 

“Where did you even find a tape recorder?” She wonders, stretching out a finger to touch the silver rectangle only for her hand to be swatted away by Reggie.

“Found it in a box of moms stuff and dad said we could order some tapes from amazon,” Carlos replies matter of factly, straightening up in his chair once he seems to have found the page he was looking for. “Right. Let's start off easy, shall we?” 

He looks at her expectantly and Julie rolls her eyes, waving a hand at the two of them, “Lets.” 

“Question one,” Carlos taps his pencil at the top of his page before squinting at her, “Did you conduct any séance related activities before the ghosts showed up?” 

Julie blinks at him, wondering if he’s joking but the pair of them just look back at her, heads both slightly tilted and it’s at that moment that she realises how serious they’re going to be about this. It was going to be a long afternoon of questioning apparently. 

“No, I didn’t conduct any séance related activities. I just put on their CD and they y’know, fell out of the sky.” 

“Interesting, interesting,” Carlos mutters as he looks at Reggie’s notebook as the older boy writes her answer down, underlines something and taps it with his pencil that makes Carlos let out a small hm. “So you don’t know anything about the dark room? Didn’t make any wishes?” 

“No,” Julie shakes her head, watches Reggie write something else down and tilt his notebook to Carlos. It’s weird, watching them communicate like that, like they’ve created a shorthand between them and don’t even require her presence to have a conversation. Which is obviously true because they’ve clearly discussed all this beforehand. 

“You walked through Luke right? What did that feel like to you?” Reggie’s question catches her off guard and she looks between them, but Carlos is already looking at her, waiting for her answer. 

“It was um cold? But also not. I--” she frowns, trying to think back to that first night in the kitchen when she’d turned around and walked through him. Back when she’s barely known any of them and was more annoyed by their presence then comforted. “It was weird. The first few seconds after I walked through him I just felt cold but then it was like a rush of warmth? You know when you get one of those random shivers that runs through your whole body? It feels all weird and tingly but also kinda nice? Like that.” 

“Did it feel like you got a feel of Luke?” Carlos asks and Julie shrugs, a slight blush on her cheeks and somehow, despite the fact they can’t see each other, the two of them share a look. 

“What’s the next question,” anything to move off the topic of walking through Luke and how it felt. 

//

“Oh Julie is gonna be so pissed at you guys,” Alex mutters but makes no move to step in and stop the ‘experiment’ currently going on. He watches as Reggie tries to put a hand on Carlos’ shoulder, fingers phasing through the younger boy's jacket with a frown. 

“She won't be pissed if it works,” is all Reggie says, face morphing into one of concentration as he slowly lowers his hand on to Carlos’ shoulder again. 

For his part, Carlos bounces slightly on his toes, eyes fixed on the notebook in Alex’s hand in case they need to tell him something. And okay, Alex might not fully agree with the way the two of them are going about this whole thing, but he can’t say he’s not on board with it. Their whole stint as ghosts has been nothing but confusion after confusion that not even Willie has answers for. Does he think Reggie and Carlos are going to uncover some fundamental thing that makes them the way they are? Probably not. Will they maybe get him some kind of answer? God he hopes so. 

Especially since there’s been small moments in the last few weeks where Ray and Carlos have been able to hear them even without them playing music or Julie nearby. Which had scared all of them. Thought it was nothing compared to Ray’s reaction when he’d apparently walked into the kitchen to find Julie and Luke hugging, only for him to vanish when they suddenly let go. It was a hell of a way to find out they could be seen if they were touching her. 

“Oh!” Carlos suddenly exclaims, head whipping to look at his shoulder where Reggie’s hand is resting solidly on the fabric of the jacket. Alex feels his eyes widen a fraction and watches Reggie’s smile widen as he squeezes slightly on Carlos’ shoulder. “Oh my god! I can feel that!” 

“Holy shit,” Alex whispers, grip on the pencil in his fingers growing. 

“Hey! I heard that too! Quick! Write it down! 30 minutes and- and however many attempts it took!” Carlos grins, face turning towards him and Alex doesn’t even have time to feel guilty about swearing before he’s scribbling in Reggie’s notebook.

//

“Thanks again for taking me,” Carlos says as he pulls his seat belt across his chest and clicks it in, eyes drifting from his tia in the front seat to the little notebook resting on the back seat and the pencil that’s hovering just a few inches off the paper. Subtly he sees it tap on the page, once, twice, and he bites down on his grin, tucking his hands under his thighs to stop from bouncing in his seat. They’re ready. 

“Of course mijo,” Victoria smiles over at him as she turns on the engine, fingers already messing with the buttons on the radio to find her favourite station. “I have to say I’m impressed. Planning ahead for your dad's birthday.” 

“Mhm,” he agrees, his eyes on the notebook that he can just see in the rearview mirror. The pencils resting between the creases in the pages and he holds his breath as the radio jumps to a different station. 

Victoria frowns slightly, her eyes darting from the road to the radio and back, hand reaching out to change it back. When it jumps to another station. And another. Carlos feels his eyes widen a little, legs bouncing on top of his hands as he watches the radio cycle through station after station, only lingers for a few seconds on each before moving on. 

Finally it stops, the words of Despacito ringing through the car and it’s lucky they’re at a red light he thinks, because when Victoria tries to change it it jumps right back. 

“What the f-” she starts, the furrow between her brows growing deeper and the knuckles on her hand that’s still gripping the wheel turning white. 

“Can we leave it? I like this song,” he looks over at her with a smile, blinking in what he hopes is a completely innocent way. He’s pretty sure she’s too distracted by the radio to question it. 

“Sure, sure,” she mutters, not even looking at him, eyes going from the road to the radio. 

The song ends and from the corner of his eye he can see the pencil in the back moving, Reggie or Willie writing something down and he has to stop himself from turning around to see what it is. Instead he watches as tia starts changing the radio station again, her fingers never leaving the touch screen as if that was the problem. But the second she lands on her favourite 80’s classics station and is moving her fingers away it changes. Skipping through stations again until Despacito is once again filling the car. 

It’s probably lucky that they’re at another red light and that there’s no one behind them because her eyes widen and she’s suddenly saying words in Spanish that he knows he shouldn’t know and is pulling over to the side of the road. 

“We have to get out! The car is being possessed! Out, out Carlos! Come on!” Her seat belt is off and her door is open before Carlos even has a chance to process what’s happening. The notebook from the back is pushed in front of his face and he tilts his head a little to side to read Reggie’s familiar handwriting, 

Too far? 

“Maybe,” he whispers back, taking the notebook out of the ghost's hand as he starts to get out of the car, plucking the pencil out of the metal spirals and making a note about not pushing tia in a moving vehicle and to wait until after they’ve gone shopping first. 

She’s got her phone pressed to ear when he joins her on the sidewalk, pacing up and down. Carlos is pretty sure there’s going to be a family dinner story time in their near future. 

//

Luke watches as Carlos sets his tape recorder up, idly plucking out a half finished tune on his guitar in order to be seen and heard. He doesn’t really get the other boys interest in figuring out their ghostly state of being. The same way he doesn’t really care about finding answers to all of Alex’s questions. 

They ate some bad street dogs. They died. Julie brought them back and then she saved them a second time. They can play music and sometimes be seen. He already has all the answers he needs and it’s two words: Julie Molina. 

Would it be nice to know what the black room was? Sure. Did he sometimes wonder why they could be seen but other ghosts couldn't? Sometimes. Did he want answers? Only if someone was going to give them to him without having to do the work. Was he going to sit here and answer all of Carlos’ questions because it was important to him and to the others? Fuck yeah he was. 

“Does that think pick up our voices even if we’re not playing and not near Julie?” He nods at the recorder on the table after Carlos hits a button. 

“Yeah! It’s so cool too. You sound like, all static-y and I have to listen really hard sometimes because your voices fade in and out but they’re there!” 

Okay, Luke can admit that is pretty cool, “That’s wicked. Maybe we should start using that to communicate instead of writing.” He was really sick of people commenting on his handwriting. 

“Dude that’s genius! It would be like leaving each other voice notes!” He gestures in the air with his pencil the same way Julie does when she’s realised the issue with a verse and Luke smiles softly. He doesn’t know what voice notes are, but he’s glad he could contribute to the communication issue. 

“What questions have you got for me then little dude?” He raises an eyebrow at Carlos as he flips through his notebook. 

//

When he’d first knocked Alex down Willie never thought it would lead to him sitting in the Molina’s family living room, a whiteboard resting on his knees as a twelve year old shows him bar graphs and pie charts of information on ghosts. 

There was probably some kind of domino-butterfly effect going on that had led him here. But he’s too busy trying to fit all his know ghost knowledge onto a whiteboard so Carlos can fill in the gaps in his knowledge. 

Over the years Willie has met a lot of lifers, has interacted with a handful at the HGC but he’s never met a family like the Molina’s. Who found out ghosts were real and instead of running, or trying to profit off of them, had just...welcomed them into the family. Arms wide and hearts open. 

And more than that, here was Carlos trying to get answers to questions that none of them really had an answer too. 

“Black room, yes or no?” Carlos asks, holding up a flash card and a clothes peg, ready to add it to the line of string stretching across the room. It was already littered with other cards in an order that Willie really didn’t understand but seemed to make perfect sense to the younger boy and Reggie. 

Not for me, or anyone I asked at the club, he scribbles down, turning to the board around. 

“Just like we thought,” he nods to himself, taking two steps to the left and reaching up to attach the card, “An anomaly.” he whispers it to himself and Willie has to bite his lip to stop from smiling before remembering that Carlos can’t actually see him. 

“Hey,” Alex’s voice from the doorway drags his gaze away from the lifer and the smile he’d been trying to stop spreads across his face, “How’s it going?”

“I don’t think we’re even half way through,” he chuckles, gesturing with one hand at the stack of flashcards and the charts he hasn’t even seen yet. “Do you understand this system?” 

The exasperated laugh that leaves Alex’s lips is answer enough before he’s even shaking his head, strands of blonde hair dipping into his eyes and Willie wants to reach to move away, “Not a clue. They’ve tried to explain it to us but it makes zero sense to anyone but them.”  

“Hey, Alex, stop distracting him, we’re working here!” Carlos’ voice makes him jump, head turning back to where he’s standing with his arms crossed and shaking his head in disappointment in the vague direction of where Alex is standing. 

“Wait, can he see you?” Willie frowns, mind trying to remember if he knew this or not. 

“No, he’s just really good at sensing us these days,” Alex sighs, but there’s a fond look in his eyes as he looks at Carlos, “He says it’s his ghost powers kicking in from how often he hangs out with Reggie and from all the failed teleportation experiments.” 

“The failed what now?” 

“Oh, you’ll find out. I think it’s section 7?” Alex grins, pushing off from where he’d been leaning against the doorway and waving.

Willie turns back to Carlos feeling a little more confused than he had minutes ago but also much more intrigued about teleportation experiments. And if he could help get some answers for any of the many questions Alex had, that was cool too.

//

Carlos Molina’s Guide to Ghosting. So you became a ghost, huh?

 (working title, subject to change)

By Carlos Molina, with special thanks to Reggie Peters and Willie Skateboard. 

1st Edition. 

Dedicated to Alex Mercer, so he can stop asking so many questions. We’re working on it buddy.

1. Tangibility 

They can walk through anything (except my sister now, reasons still unclear). 

Works especially well with walls, doors and locked vaults (see exhibit a) 

When they walk through people it “allows them to get a feel for the person” – Reggie Peters. “It’s weird” – Alex Mercer. No comment from Luke Patterson as he was too busy staring at Julie. 

2. Souls

Objects can be attached to their souls. 

Still unclear if it has to be an object that they were close to in life, or if they can attach their souls to any object once a ghost. 

Experiments with Reggie Peters are still ongoing. Updates will follow.

3. Being Seen

Can be seen by “lifers*” when they play music with Julie. 

This is the first rule which only applies to our ghosts. 

They can be heard when they play music without Julie. This is also unclear as to why, working theory is “Our music is just so awesome it transcends deaths!” – Luke Patterson.

Mr Willie Skateboard was quick to point out it’s “weird” and “ghosts aren’t supposed to be seen by lifers.”

4. Touching

Our ghosts can now touch Julie. The biggest change in their afterlife. 

Still no explanation for it. Experiments are ongoing (see exhibit b) 

Have witnessed Julie hugging the air many times only for Alex or Willie to appear. Same with hand holding. (see exhibit c for dads reaction) 

5. Magic

Some ghosts have powers and abilities. 

Willie* can control different types of technology. Appears to work best with cars. This we believe correlates with who a ghost dies. 

In our expedition to test his skills he skipped through 15 different radio stations of Tia’s car until he found one playing despacito. Test was a success. Tia does think her car is haunted now however.

6. ???

There was a dark room. 

All other ghosts interviewed had never heard of it before. 

All our ghosts agreed it was weird and creepy. 

We are choosing to pretend it didn’t happen. 

Working theory: a hole in time that they fell through. Must find a way to test.

7. Teleporting

part 1)

Ghosts can teleport wherever they want in the world. 

Only the most powerful can teleport a lifer with them (will keep attempting)

part b) 

Our ghosts can pinpoint Julie’s exact location wherever she may be in the world. 

Will be helpful if she is ever kidnapped, Julie however wishes they would stop using said power to find her in gym class.

“I already have find my friend activated” – Flynn had to say on the matter. 

part c) 

Julie can summon the boys to her if she concentrates hard enough. Came in handy when an evil magician tried to kidnap them.

Also possibly how they escaped the dark room, no way to prove or deny this as dad won’t let me eat a bad hotdog to become a ghost.

Working theory: magic of music and family 

See Exhibit d 

See Exhibit e  

[lantsovsupremacist]

nikolai lantsov: august

@wafflesandschemingfaces requested a piece inspired by august, and i am more than happy to push the august agenda. THIS TOOK WAY TOO LONG IM SO SORRY!!! i hope it’s okay that i worked this in as a part two of “mirrorball.”

happy AUGUST babes! this was originally going to end angsty but i was feeling generous so enjoy the happier ending :)))

he tasted like salt, which had been a rarity at home. with the prices spiking in the cities, the smaller markets in the countryside could not supply even the simplest spice. having reignited the placated desire, you were greedy for more of him.

over the last seven months, you took advantage of nearly every opportunity the volkvony offered. you strengthened your abilities at sea with the careful instruction of the two other tidemakers onboard. tamar’s twin brother, toyla, guided your interest in grisha literature and history.

certain adjustments proved more difficult than others. you were no stranger to early work or rising in a shared room. however, despite the bright flush from the use of your powers, your muscles ached under the strain of the new practice. you found your training to be an unfamiliar yet cherished consistency.

you struggled with feelings of inferiority at first. the other female tidemaker, yelena, was a stowaway from the little palace. disregarding her heavy contempt for the school there, her experience helped you immensely.

peter was also a comfort in his own way. another self-taught grisha himself, it only pained you to hear of his family’s acceptance and attempts to teach him. your family might not have thrown you to the fjerdans but they offered little to help you control the power.

time could not move backwards to prevent your wounds but it could move forward to heal them.

now, perched on the deck beside yelena, you were calmer and more confident than ever before. you watched sturmhond out of the corner of you eye, turning your head in the wind to guide a piece of hair back out of your face. his white shirt billowed in the wind, sleeves rolled up and hands in the air to help dictate one of his famous stories.

“you look at him as if he hung the stars in the sky himself,” yelena snorted, elegantly drawing up a rather powerful wave to hasten your journey south, “trust me, he’ll take the hint and never let it go.”

but for you, perhaps he had. a new constellation, at least. three stars shined brighter than before for you, now visible to the naked eye. freedom, purpose, and opportunity. his gracious offer extended to beyond the imaginable.

“i could never have dreamed of this,” you replied earnestly, lightly bumping into her hip with your own.

“kerch does not have blondes, no?” she teased, exaggerating her already thick ravkan accent.

you blushed, nonetheless, “you’re going to get us off task, yelena.”

she rolled her eyes, returning her attention to the sea with a grunt. you did not miss the small smile that barely touched her face after, however. you would have missed it if she had not adjusted your arm, lifting it higher to create a higher crest.

in truth, you did not mind. you enjoyed observing. from your station at one side of the hull, you had a suitable view of the surrounding activity on the deck. storytelling only happened to be one of the aforementioned pursuits by the crew.

—

the first time was an accident. you nearly ran into him one morning during your second week onboard. the sun had filtered through the cracks in your room, beckoning your rise. you chased the sunbeams up the staircase adjacent to the door and soaked in the warmth they graciously provided.

the sunrise was magnificent. too distracted by the beauty painted in front of you in the sky, your elbow caught the captain’s. your eyes immediately went wide, an apology poised on your tongue. growing up with seven siblings, you were accustomed to making yourself smaller to allot room for the others. what other habits would you lose during your time aboard the volkvony?

“that’s quite alright,” sturmhond replied, eyes twinkling at the pale pink flush of your cheeks, “i suppose the sunrise caught my attention, as well,” he turned his head back, “though, that might not be all that did.”

as the tempo of your heart approached a crescendo, you nodded with a nervous smile. your eldest sister’s experiences with boys were all you had to go off of. your parents were together, yes, but as you aged, you realized that the nature of their union simply secured stability for the both of them. love had been an after thought and a forgotten one at that.

“want to watch it with me?” his eyes were brighter than the sun, more vibrant than the various hues splattered across the sky.

sounding just as much of a child as did he, you responded, “i would love to.”

he waited for no counter, immediately taking your hand in his to nearly drag you up the stairs. his hand was surprisingly warm despite the slight chill in the morning air. your brain fought the feeling of his touch at first, recognizing the pressure of his fingers now intertwined with yours but refusing to reciprocate the gesture.

by the time the sun reached a pinnacle in the sky, shining it seemed for just the two of you, you had given him your hand and your heart.

you let him memorize your story, pausing when he could not remember the order of your siblings. you repeated it until he could. the mornings were filled with whispers and soft touches. you thought he was helping you write a new story—one where maybe, you could have your perspective at the forefront.

—

the pressure of his his knee shamelessly pressing into yours dominated your thoughts. you decided that it would be more disconcerting to slide away from him but each passing moment added fuel to the fire of his warmth. you did not know what to think about the way he made you feel.

“i’m not who you think i am,” the privateer spoke, deadly calm. his tone did not waver, nor did the contact his eyes maintained with the horizon.

you wanted to tease the boy beside you but one look at the frown overtaking his face gave you pause. you felt increasingly uncomfortable, which you never did with him, not even when he first introduced himself. it was all wrong.

“i’m not sure what you mean,” you whispered hesitantly, trailing your fingers in the dust of the deck before they grew too numb to control.

his jaw clenched. his eyes bore into the sea. you only heard the sound of his breath—strangled and uneven.

“sturmhond,” you tried, watching as the wind ruffled his tawny and unkept hair.

“no,” he strained, “nikolai.”

an unusual name but a beautiful name, you decided.

“i-i don’t understand,” you fought to get the words out—battling with breaths instead of bombs, syllables instead of swords.

you wanted to push it all aside for naive hope, content with your pocket of fool’s gold.

“do you remember when we sailed to the outskirts of ravka?” he questioned you, gaining control of the previous shake in his voice.

you hummed in reply, trying to put together the pieces of his puzzle before he realized you had not finished yet.

the blonde looked like he was in pain when he next spoke, “the prince,” he began with his eyes timidly locked on your own, “his name is nikolai.”

contrary to your lack of education, you were clever and thus, able to fill in the blanks for yourself.

“who else knows?” you might have hoped for something more but you were not innocent enough to believe the prince only shared his identity with the girl who had succumbed to his longing stares.

“the twins,” he began with a sigh too heavy for him to carry alone, “yelena. one or two others.”

yelena knew. for some reason, your stomach turned at that. you knew it was misplaced and unnecessary jealously but there it sat all the same, weighing you down like an unmovable stone. a similar pressure pulsed behind your eyes, forcing a collection of tears to your waterline.

he offered an apology with words, but it was his eyes that held the true sincerity, the way his fingers restlessly knotted in his lap, and that even though it was a fight, he had moved aside to give you space. you wanted to believe that everything would be okay despite the change, that it could be, at least.

your heart ached. you never wanted him further away from you. or closer. his body was too familiar now.

nikolai never belonged to you, not really. and even if ravka would inevitably melt his golden heart and carelessly mold it to their benefit, he belonged to the broken country. not to you. never to you—alone.

with that, of course, you could not belong to him, either. a farmer’s daughter who did not complete her primary studies. maybe you did have a claim to grisha power, but you knew enough about ravka to understand that you would be a soldier. you already felt like one, fighting an endless battle between your head and heart. diligence and desire.

“you let me—,” you swallowed thickly, “give myself to you. you made it so easy to be sure.” now, you were no longer as certain in your decisions.

he kicked his feet in the water, unable to carry your gaze lest he lose it much like your heart, “i hoped it could be different.”

you searched for anything to ground yourself in along the horizon, burning your eyes in the sinking sun, “you’ll have to go back, then.”

he nodded, his head bobbing more fitfully than the waves, “yes.”

your did not want to talk any longer because if you did, you were sure that you would cry. you decided that you had, in fact, been foolish. how could you live off of hope alone? your destiny belonged to the fields not the sea.

“okay.”

“okay?” nikolai repeated, voice dancing between disbelief and what might have been anger, unable to remember the next step, “that’s all that’s left?”

“i think so,” you replied airily, turning to brush a lock of his hair behind his ear, “because i understand. i might not want to. well, i certainly don’t want to but—,”

you were cut off and for the blonde boy beside you to do it, you knew he had good reason. he gave you a voice simply by listening, something few had done for you before. your words had been stolen by his lips in the end.

“i might not be able to give you nikolai,” his lips were down turned but now flushed with color, “but i can give you sturmhond. i can give you nik,” he brought your hand to his heart, “that is if you’ll have me?”

you did not belong to prince nikolai of ravka. he could not be a character in your story. but, you could write another chapter. you could change the plot for the better.

you kissed him with as much fervor as he had earlier. he twisted his fingers into your hair, winding a passage to the back of your neck. you curled into the warmth radiating from his side, fisting his shirt before slowly pulling away.

“i can’t believe you’re a prince.”

that earned you a laugh. the laugh you knew you could never live with losing. if you could not have him entirely, you would hold onto anything that could be yours. just yours. for now, the heat of the sun on your faces split wide with grins was enough.

grishaverse taglist: @just-a-human-witha-pen @ilovemarvelanne1 @story-scribbler @subjecta13-thefangirl

[laximpulsion]

love the new chapter!! Can't wait for the next one, do u have any fave leatin fics i can check out in the meantime?

Why thank youuuu!! So glad you're liking it :) Lol, very good question! To give you a needlessly long answer with a lot of disclaimers...

It all starts with the kind of funny fact that i actually got into the wilds because of Shoni! But by the time i started writing I had done a HARD pivot to leatin. And now that I write, I do a lot less reading than I did before, so I don't actually have as many leatin fic recs as one might hope. (I definitely have more shoni fics bookmarked on my ao3 page than leatin ones lmao it's kind of funny)

ALSO, I tend to actively avoid fics that sound similar to what I'm writing now or what I plan on writing in the near future. So for that reason I have not read many S3 fics or post-island fics. And a side effect of this is that i DO read a lot of AUs, so this might be mostly AUs, sorry if thats not your jam!! maybe someone else can chime in with canon fics?

anyway. i KNOW im gonna be missing lots of good ones so sorry in advance but here's some ideas to get you started:

This feels like low hanging fruit but it's true - anything by lostresidentevilpotter is a good bet, the ex-girlfriends one was an instant classic for me and actually i think it was one of the first leatin fics i ever read! really you could spend a week making your way through the lostresidentevilpotter archives and it would be a week well spent.

I'm also a big JourEtNuit fan - this one where all the girls go into witness protection after the island was another instant classic, and another of the ones that I read really early on in my fandom journey so it has a special place in my heart. more recently i loved the The Last of Us AU !

Perhaps an unconventional pick because it's not my usual thing but this social media AU where the girls start a joint tiktok account after the island has TOTALLY charmed me and I adore it, always makes me smile.

I really enjoyed this series by tardexlanoche - think this is actually the only full-on s3 fic I've read, and I loved the premise set up by the first one in the series where Fatin and Leah were kind of almost friends before the island. Plus i believe there will be a sort of AU of itself that branches off after the first fic in the series about what would happen betw. them if they never went to the island, which I think is a super neat concept.

And one of the few other canon-adjacent fics I read and enjoyed a lot is The Fall by Ecrooked24 , where leah and fatin get stuck in a ravine and have to confront their feelings - with angst aplenty. (I've also been loving Polaroids!!)

And then there's a few others that only started recently but I'm keeping an eye on because they intrigued me -

tip the world on its side - leah sees gretchen in LA, i have no idea what's going on but i'm very into it so far

this compass tattoo soulmate au - i am not usually a soulmate AU kind of gal but this one has got me hooked!

this ghost hunter AU - had me at ghost honestly! and then had me again at ghost *hunter* lol

this one where Fatin leaves Leah annotated books - annotated books are such a cute concept and it was SO ruined by jeff doing it!

whew okay...sorry this was so long but if you follow me you should hopefully know by now that i write fucking NOVELS any chance i get hahaha. if anyone has anything else to add please feel free!! especially s3/canon-adjacent/post-island fics!

EDIT: suggestions from the comments - these are all great too, i've read a lot of them and started others!!

Mad Girl's Love Song by ThornedRose44 come home to my heart by scoutshonour, Sleepless in Sylvester by comicc_bookk_jawnss, pull you from the tide aka the tinder series au by overnights, did you win? aka the celeb au by lunchables, and can't forget the amnesia au i was dangerously tangled (the second time i met you) by rosymidnights.