#and ill be listening tf out of it
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i see just okay indie for chan's future solo work
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TF One D-16
#poll#maccadam#transformers#smash or pass#request#d-16#tf one#look. listen to me. i want the movie to be good. i want it to be good so badly.#but i simply do not trust it. its giving marvel movie and that has me Incredibly Fuckin Worried#because i do not want this franchise to turn into generic safe crowd pleaser action comedy allergic to genuine emotion generator no. 6483754#i do not want cliche heavy low effort lowest common denominator movie afraid to do anything even slightly weird beyond surface level#like. look. as much as i dunk on bayverse. as much as i voice my distaste for the designs and everything micheal bay has ever done#i respect the hell out of them for letting those robots be fucked up aliens#with weird nasty unfamiliar biology#and for having intense and serious and deathly somber moments#even if they butcher the characterization of some of the bots#cough cough give me your face ill kill them all optimus#im also not crazy about it looking like optimus and megatron come from the same place in the bottom of society#its so much more compelling for megs to come from the very bottom and be hyperaware of how bad everything is#whole orion has more of an everyman position. a cushy library job. not afforded luxuries but not rotting at the bottom#because then they learn from each other. orion piecing together hiw bad things get while megs picks up how in the dark the mid caste is#also genuinely truly if i have to hear bumblebee say 'well that just happened' im walking through the space bridge into a vacuum#welp. that turned into an essay. dont mind me being a hater 💖
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harpoon shipping doodle :3
w/some hcs! cause UH ofc there r!!!! uhhhh also theyre supposed 2 b like tweens in this dont ask how or where theyre hanging out ok? yay <3
IF U DONT LIKE THE SHIP PLS JUST DONT INTERACT LIKE PLS JUST DONT B WEIRD ok love u
#eyestrain#<- just in case#these spot the difference games r getting harder((roy & wally)) im joking i think i draw them vry differently#i mean they both have freckles- but wally has way brighter hair & WAY MORE freckles + a different nose & green eyes-#listen i try ok#ALSO I TRED 2 DRAW SOME ACNE ON ROY CAN U SEE IT????? its vry smallll#also ahhaha ninjago referance hehehehKJHEkjhejKHFhesFHGiuaslfa idk i just wanted 2 draw it#i mean its not a DIRECT referance but if u see it u see it!#im not super happy w/my garth tbhhhhh i didnt know exactly wtf i was doing#i wish i knew how tf 2 draw scales aaaaaahhhhhhhhh ill figure it out 1 day#bc i started liking harpoon during the tt cartoon i decided 2 pull most of my decisions from there#although theres like barely any I CAN SEE THEM#anwaysy ANWYAYS tags.....uhm#thisis the scary part LMAOOO#harpoon shipping#roygarth#garthroy#???? which 1 do ppl use??? i just call them harpoon its cuter#blehhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#roy harper#garth#i dont want 2 tag them#jfc im scared#listen if u dont like me pls block me pls i beg of u oh man#puppee art#me posting smth that isnt my usual stuff>??? weirdddd
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i'm the fury in your head i'm the ghost in the back of your head x
#ts4#sims 4#s4#the sims 4#sims#simblr#sim: jude#story tag#quick Jude pics#I rlly vibed w this one#the drums in Spanish Sahara is what he's jamming tf out to..my bb#maybe one day ill stop posing him with headphones#but he can barely go long without listening to music ...#needs smthn to fill the silence#and for some reason he looks naked without them?? lmao#this top is so cute on him#��his preferred style” Jude its just a mesh top and it shows off ur tattoos... wear these things MORE instead of big ol sweaters n pants
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some concept art for a very silly lil au ive had in mind, in which jake is a real mvp and hal gets fused with a katana-impaled seagull
honestly its just an excuse to produce god-catboy jake english content
#homestuck#jake english#hal strider#lil hal#jakehal#homestuck au#its a reverse au lets be real#still working out fine detail like how tf would they initiate a scratch#without a time player#listen ill blast out some spreadsheets and make this work like a good lil mind player i am#homestuck fanart#first time doing lineless art and its for hs au what is my life
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hour and a half unpaid overtime I think that's a new record for me. on a day where I was supposed to have no overtime no less. funny how I only have 3 of those this month and the 2 so far I've had to work overtime anyway 👍
#i shouldve left at 4:15. killing myself at work in front of everyone#well im actually not that mad ive been listening to yhe national on loop for the last 6 hours of my shift nothing can touch me#but the disrespect....#my boss came n found me at 4pm and was like hey can u do another round of this assay (<- takes an hour and a half)#and i said no!!!! bc she already gave me too much shit to do i was busy ALL DAY and still ran over like how tf do u expect me to fit MORE#she gave me 1.5 hours to do 14 samples in this one assay where each one takes 15 mins plus 5 mins prep per sample beforehand#so like 20 mins per sample THATS 4 HOURS AND 40 MINUTES and thats assuming no repeats and no troubleshooting!!!#3x the time u scheduled for me... come tf on. i need to make a table of how to calculate how long an assay takes so she stops doing this#rly not that hard just ask me how long i need for it and ill explain it to u#and then i finished up n emailed results n went to go switch lights off in the other lab and shed left samples out for me to book in. GIRL#PLEASE EMAIL ME OR TEAMS ME DONT JUST LEAVE THEM THERE.. u know im working in the main lab ALL DAY#so im not gonna fucking see them!!!! and they need to be refrigerated!!!! next time ill just leave them out overnight and when shes like#why are these samples ruined jts expensive to get more ill be like well u didnt tell me to book them in so.#anyway she moved the other assay to friday n she was annoyed i didnt fit it in earlier but WHERE. WHERE WAS I MEANT TO FIT IT IN!!#also i have 2 separate multi hour assays booked friday already so good luck im out of the door at 4:15 if its not done its not done idc#ughhhh. if the bus is late too im going back to my work and blowing the building up#WHAT. EVER!!!!!!!#.diaries
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I’m so ridiculously proud of myself for sitting down and writing 3k of smut in one sitting because:
1) a fic idea I’ve been wanting to write for the last week
2) for a character and ship I’ve been wanting to write for months
And
3) I didn’t overthink a damn thing, I just wrote
#caboose writes wip#listen…Jo Grant and fuzzy pink handcuffs…need I say more?#I can’t believe I was working on a oneshot that turned into over 11k and counting for a damn week and paused that to bang out 3k of smut#for the same characters like#been a while since I’ve done that huh#I’d apologize for all the smut I’ve been working on lately but why tf would I do that?#im going to go to bed and ill post it tomorrow (it already has a title im so amazed!!)
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Hi I'm back I Passed out and when I woke up I realized I Made this so Have it (The songs might correspond to specific moments you've talked about before, all in all, this is about 70 Minutes of Songs). Feel free to also bash my music tastes, I can Take it.
Sleepwalk (Forrest Day)
Rule #21 - Memento Mori (Fish in a Birdcage)
Puppet Loosely Strung (The Correspondents)
Curses (The Crane Wives)
Lights Go Down (I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME)
Creature (Half Alive)
Rule #4 - Fish in a Birdcage (Fish in a Birdcage)
Dr. Sunshine is Dead (Will Wood and the Tapeworms)
I'll Sleep When I'm Dead (Set it Off)
Stressed Out (Twenty One Pilots)
Problems (Mother Mother)
Oh Ana (Mother Mother)
New Invention (I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME)
Golden (Elysewood)
Absinthe (I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME)
Turn the Lights Off (Tally Hall)
Identity (Grandson)
Rät (Penelope Scott)
Wires (The Neighborhood)
SugarCrash! (ElyOtto)
one, i am in No position to bash anyone's music tastes. i will listen to anything and everything and my main playlist is titled "Clusterfuck" due to it being a mash of Everything i listen to and not-dislike
two, i've listened to some of these! Creature is on my WH playlist! New Invention is an absolute fucking banger! same with Turn The Lights Off and Sleepwalk! the rest of em have been added to my clusterfuck playlist
three, Most Of These Fit Pretty Fucking Well. they also helped me figure some au mechanics / ideas out, so thank you!! and most of the ones that didn't strike me as Lights Out have been added to my WH playlist lol
#some of them have parts that Do correspond with specific moments!#incredibly seamlessly!#of course despite having just listened to all of these ive forgotten which ones and when#so oh nooooo ill have to rewatch it how sadddddd (sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm)#music as a thought process <3#most of my ideas / development comes from listening to songs and spacing tf out#rambles from the bog#brb gonna go get emotional over Lights Out Wally (and also sally)#and also edit the doc for the next two hours#i got Thoughts i got Ideas#lets see if they'll translate through the brain fog its real intense today
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...
#head instructor to the TAs in the lab section i TA for: how r u guys feeling abt the workload?#me who hasnt graded anything since week 1 and spent an hr that morning filling out a patient safety plan: 🙃#listen. we r experiencing symptoms that make us shitty at our job. which is not helpful for a positive outlook#i was also experiencing horrible cramps at the time bc i lost my ibuprofen and 2 days ago i stopped the birth control in a desperate effort#to stop feeling terrible. but in this moment i feel alright. its wild to go from drastically unhappy to like lol wtf was that? anyway stop#being a bby loser. for no obvious reason. im gonna start the birth control again to see if i get depressed again or if that was just me lol#i dont think my therapist understands the depth of my executive functioning issues tho. bc im a grad student and can meet deadlines. like#let me tell u im a fucking disaster abt starting things. i will go back and forth and get nothing done forever. or i do things halfway and#make everything 30 times more difficult later bc no one else understands how my brain works#ah well. itll b fine. sometimes i just get freaked out that i wanna b better and i dont kno how to do that. so i spiral in despair a lil#ill b fine. im good at catching myself before i get too out of control. annoyingly tho i am not currently beating the bip0lar allagations#bc whatever tf is wrong with me i do probably fit the diagnostic criteria for bip0lar 2. i dont kno y that freaks me out so much. i guess#its bc it feels like something i cant just make better thru force of will and i grew up in a home that was very obsessively#health conscious to the point my dad gets anxious abt taking a single ibuprofen. so like ive been conditioned to get freaked out by#medication. literally my grandma will call me and tell me to b suspicious of doctors and to not take medicine unless absolutely necessary.#like lady u r the genetic reason i have 0cd shut the fuck up. also it feels like something that would more negatively affect how ppl think#of u than saying oh yea i get depressed or i have anxiety. like the connotation feels worse im used to just telling ppl whatever tf#my problem is. so the idea of holding something back feels weird. which annoys me bc i dont think there should b so much of a stigma. its#bullshit. anyway idk. im tired. i was trying to think of a comfort tv show with my therapist and all i could think was the terror#when im depressed i wanna watch those English mother fuckers suffer and die. i just lov that show so much. harry g00dsir my beloved. the#most me coded character to ever exist#unrelated
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have u ever seen how mad teenage boys get if u say smthn isnt funny the switch up is like instantaneous
#cliffnotes/.txt#unfortunately my brother was trying to show me one of those tiktok drake x kendrick memes#and calmly i was like bro dont show me that#and when he asked why and i started to explain just a bit (nothing long)#the way he started getting all defensive like 'you cant take a joke youre gonna piss me tf off' like what r u upset for#ur 16 u can listen to what i said and understand exactly why i say its wrong#u just wanna plug ur ears instead tho bc u think smthn being a joke is a get out of jail free card on criticism#you'll learn tho. just better hope u learn before it bites you in the ass is all ill say
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everytime i mention game ending myself In Minecraft my brother always pulls through like 'but you have to find out what happens to jo' like my god you're right....... what's gonna happen to jo.........
#snap chats#lord's been testing me since like mid march but every time im like#'noooo its confirmed jo gonna show up for at least one scene in LaD8 haha....... you gotta see it bro.......'#i guess i also ordered those mine and daigo and aoki plushes but listen#seeing what the fuck happened to jo is more important to my brain because of The Mystery#like as soon as i get those plushes ill dunk them in milk and ill keep them by my computer 24/7 but yk#tf my guy doing.... how's he holding up..... how are they gonna kill him cause i just know they will....#and when they do im gonna come onto here and be angry and throw up#but until then i can't die In Minecraft until i see what happens to jo this is my rule#Heavenly Father i'll wait to see you just a little longer just lemme see what happens to my favorite senior citizen#oh ew LaD8 comes out next year right.. i wonder if i'll have graduated by then
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I ♡ THIS IMAGE. ITS RIGHT. U DON'T NEED TO ACCEPT EVERYTHING AND U DON'T NEED TO BE NEUTRAL ON THINGS U ACTUALLY DON'T LIKE. ITS JUST WHEN IT TAKES OVER YOUR MENTAL HEALTH WHEN I THINK IT NEEDS TO BE DEALT WITH.
#THIS IS AFTER A LONG TIME OF BEING TOLD YOU HAVE TO BE NICE BECAUSE... YOU HAVE TO#WHAT IF SOMEONE IS BEING AN ABSOLUTE COCK TO ME. IM NOT TURNING THE OTHER CHEEK IM NOT CATHOLIC#IM GONNA POINT N LAUGH AT THINGS THAT ARE BOTHERING ME#IM GONNA MAKE YOU FEEL BAD FOR HURTING ME LOL#BUT IF U DIDN'T DO ANYTHIN TO ME ILL OBVIOUSLY NOT DO THAT#OH AND MEDIA#YOU CAN HATE WHATEVER MEDIA/CHAR YOU WANT#YOU CAN ROAST TF OUT OF A PLOTLINE/CHARACTER AND I'LL ENJOY LISTENING TO IT MOST LIKELY#■.txt#■.jpg#(BUT EVEN IF I DIDN'T LIKE WHAT YOU WERE SAYING GO OFF ANYWAY I'LL JUST BLOCK YOU)
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tw - ed
my god
it always seems like i’m fighting a batte
that deep down
i want to lose
better? no, love
worse. always worse
please, i beg it of you
i need to be worse
i think food is the addiction
not lack thereof
the guilt that always comes after
not wanting to reset
i dont want to get better
i can’t, not yet
not when i am yet to be sick
properly sick
-ghost
#NOT PRO ANA GET TF OUT#i’m just mentally ill#i promise#ed not sheeren#tw ed vent#tw eating issues#listen to the tw’s please#thoughts#writing#poetry#anxiety disorder#small writer#mentally fucked#tw depressing stuff#because maybe i don’t want to get better
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I know it is ok to make mistakes. I know it is ok to listen to my body and take breaks when I need to
I am also terrified I am going to get in trouble at work because I had such an awful day last shift and left early and had basically nothing done
Rly not sure what else I COULD do since I kept getting nauseous and wonky headed and stuck in the bathroom every like 20 minutes trying to wait it out
I just. Have fear and guilt. Especially since it's right before a holiday and we r gonna be busy.
#my stomach STILL feels off but like. im gonna have to go work tonight#qnd qnxiety qnd guilt dont help#i cant mcfrickin type lmao#i should be sleeping bc if nightshift but im dreading getting a text or phone call sm#and my hands are so tingly qnd burning (known issue and waiting for appt on that but its all just adding up and im aaaa)#venting -----#negative ------#nausea tw#venting and negativity#i am 30 years old and retail trauma from when i was a teenager is still fucking with me#(one job literally told me i wasnt allowed to leave my station while i was actively passing out)#(which could have been qvoided ifntheybhad let me get a drink and listened when i said i wasnt feeling well)#(and then they fired me over a similar situation not long after.#(turns out i had a chronic illness that i had told them about! wow! and told them things i needed and they didnt accomodate!)#(and then guilttripped me for having a medical emergency and fired me. very very illegal but i was so fricked up by their crap)#(and now any time i have a medical problem at work or feel sick or god forbid be human i freak tf out)#retail trauma tw#i guess idk#i do not need anything i am just processing and venting
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if you’re so convinced you know what happened, then kill me.
#im not gonna be the one to do it.i might self harm but yall aregonna hafta kill me bc unfortunately i cant kill myself over a lie.#nor can i kill myself to appease assholes who are short sighted and are only out for bloodl#and will only ever actually question if they were wrong when im dead.#like go fuck yourselves.#since you're so intuitive and just *know*. how aboutyou kill me with that confidence#if you just know so well#i mean you would just know so well random personwho literally wasnt in the room when it happened#oh but you can just *tell* based on my vibes huh?? right? is that your metric?#yall are horrible people. please try to see your behavior from the point of view as you being a nazi doing this to trans ppl#how in tf is your behavior literally any different when you treat ppl like this in your own fucking community.#none of yall can coalition build for shit.#have fun with your hyper left friend group of 5 who agree on everything and god forbid one guy doesnt#gotta kill him or whatever yall wanna do to people#gulags the wall etc etc#freaks#im gonna continue to hate everyone i think because im still being given 0 reasons to trust and like humans#dont worry abt me 'leaving the left' im leaving humanity#fuck yall imma go swing from trees.#infact i can feel the politics leaving my body as we speak#i think ill listen to some kid cudi and smoke weed and not think about anything for 5 hours#just do nothing at all not even speak my truth or spread awareness of things#nah its cool#whatever dawg.#nothing matters after all.#oh the worlds gonna end? sorry iwas too busy becoming dependant on marijuana and watching dumb shit on tv to notice#oh well who cares#itd be cool to do something about it. but well. you see.#not much i can do to helpanyone or the world when the worlds letting me sink in mud#idk so uhm... bye.#fuck yall.
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warum bleibst du bei mir? ich werde immer bei dir bleiben. bitte bleib bei mir. RAAAAAAAAAHHHHGGGAHHAHAHAHHHHHH
#☆ ; dear diary ?#tfs is my all time fav album on this whooole planet#but i always avoid listening to it#bc ill never not bawl my eyes out bc of it#but dead inside is a song ive been listening to religiously on a daily basis#and tanz für mich but i HATE#genetikks part 💀💀#idk i always skip it it doesnt#fit the vibe of the song at all#anywayz kidd auf die 1 für immer und immer und immer und ewig
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