#and ik that's been a thing for like 10 years now
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why are smartphones changing so fast and yet nothings changing
#the only change between this phone and my previous one#is that this one has a fingerprint reader#and ik that's been a thing for like 10 years now#but i had a phone with a fingerprint reader before#and this is the first one that has it in a nice comfortable place lmao#its oj the power button on the side#very nice#you just touch it and your phone turns on#my prev one had face id#i got it in the height of covid#but that phone lasted me a whilleeee the only reason i have a new one is Christmas#and if not Christmas my grandma got me a phone for easter as well but like#1. i just got a new one what the hell#2. its technically a better brand but who cares this one is fine but it was an older model than this one#and she told me i could use it once this one breaks#at which point it would be even more outdated#also it was way uglier than my current phone lol#btw this was about a Samsung Galaxy#but not even one of the nice ones#and my current one is a fucking xiaomi#wow look at me i went from having offbrand Chinese phones some shit like inew or whatever#and manta what a shit company#to having branded Chinese stuff#the difference is that the branded stuff is actually good#i went through like 4 or 5 manta phones cause they kept breaking#okay i should shit up im running out of tags
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that π . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up π€·ββοΈ#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared π but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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Wait okay so how the fuck is our wizard able to do magic if they originally came from Earth??? Is it just like, in the air or sumn????? And how do we IMMEDIATELY know how to cast that magic in the very first fight we get into???? We was castin that shit WITH OUR HANDS!!!! How does that WORK girlies. What type of Magical Isekai Tai Chi were we doing that enabled us to successfully partake in witchcraft and summon creatures. This is actually breaking my mind apart this is never explained to us ever
#this whole post is lighthearted btw JSKSNEJ#i wish that we were given an answer to that because that is such an impoetant fucking part of our ENTIRE arc#NOT ONLY are we just able to do magic now(??????) but we are literally more powerful than ANYBODY ELSE SANS ACTUAL WIZARD GOD#why are we so powerful. is it BECAUSE we come from earth???? DOES THAT BEGIN TO MAKE SENSE#what separates us from everyone else other than the fact that we come from Canada and the Spiral is the USA. tell me that#HOW WERE WE ABLE TO DO MAGIC HOW WERE WE ABLE TO DO MAGIC#ik this is a game and not everything needs to be explained but i wish at least that part was given some context#its only ever been mentioned we're from earth like twice in the entire 10+ years wizard101 has been a thing#wizard101#w101#wiz101
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#personal#it feels like im not allowed to complain about my own life on my own blog#or at least that if im allowed to that it seems very firstworld problem very selfish very not appropriate with all thats going on#that people will and do think less of me for expressing my own sadness and frustrations because theres no way it compares#to a lot of peoples very big and very real problems#but im so fucking sick of being poor and small. all ive had to eat today is 2min noodles roughly 10 hours ago#and all ill get tomorrow is a bowl of 2min noodles but ittl be another 15 or so hours until its the most reasonable to eat that#thats the real girlmath and then thats the last of my noodles. that leaves me with one (1) small tin of tuna#which might end up being tonights intermediary food if i really cant wait 15 nore hours for my next noodles but is supposed to be#the one meal of the day after tomorrow. so if i eat it too soon then i have even more time that i just dont fucking eat#im so sick to death of being in this position. like its literally killing me and theres fuck all i can do to make it better#ive tried. and i try and i try and i try but i can never afford anything#my landagent keeps sending me textx asking when theyll see a patment for my $50 water bill#i have to stop myself from texting back every time. youll see payment when im not spending literally 75% of my pay on rent alone#when i can afford to buy food and bills at the same time. whn i dont feel like kms-ing would be better than paying you my rent every frtnite#i crave a burger so bad i cant make myself do any tasks. i cant start or continue any crafts or chores because all im thinking about#is a burger like a blorbo rotating in my mind alongside the background noise that i wont get a burger and will only get noodles but not for#hours. a whole days worth of hours almost#my shitawful roomate is back and i have to play nice but he gives me the same feelings my abusive mother did. im scared to leave my room#in the safeplace house ive spent the last two years building for myself. this feels awful. things were all going so right and now#all of a sudden theyre all going as wrong as possible and im struggling so much. with no one to help. no one cares enough to help#the few people i do have are wrapped up in their own lives. which i get. but it doesnt take away the hurt of dealing with it all alone again#lot of momma trauma coming up with the end of eclipse season and i thought i was handling it. now i just feel fucking awful all the time#like ik healing isnt linear but the roomate triggers so hard things i thought i had processed and was on top of#would a burger fix that? no but itd atleast give me something to emotionally lean on for strength though it. but all ive got is noodles#24 hour apart one meal per day noodles. and tomorrow is my last pack. my only solace lately is that ive been invited to my first ever rave#or my first real rave anyway ive only been to one other 'edm event' that was not really a rave of any scale it was like 25 people#but its a halloween rave so im hoping for spooky fun dancetimes at least theres that. im out of data and spotifyprem so i havent been able#to take my silly little mental health walks bc theres zero chance im doing that without music and so itll be noce to get outside fr the rave#anyway. im doing very poorly i appreciate you few who reached out while i wasnt active but i expect ill continue to do poorly for some time
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ughhh the stupid fucking tooth is rly stressing me out. i never shouldve moved to fucking washington i wish i could go back in time and hit 18 year old me in the head with a hammer .
#and also 17 year old me. and 16 year old me. and 15 year old me. all of you have a part in this. cunts.#bc i would e hust had the crown done if i didnt get fucking stranded in wa for 10 months. ive just been kicking it with my sanded down toot#sincee. over a year now and i dont think theres any saving it bc i think its got cavities so theyll probably just have to extract it#and then i check online and ill have to also get it replaced with a fske one or my fucking bones will dissolve or whatever (dramatization)#and like. cant lie. the fact i did all that for a guy who Didnt fucking love me. ok. ok. ok. in love connor is not allowed to make decision#ever again bc actually fuck that guy. like. obv for more than just the tooth thing#i was just so stupid . and ik you have to make mistakes to learn from them but this mistake might be rly expensive idk if the state#insurance will actually cover it or if therell be copays I dont have moneyyy i dont have a fucking job. i need to get my stupid ged. STUPID#FUCKING PAST CONNOR DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL I HATE YOU YOU RUINED MY LIFE. but its wtvr. its fine bc that guys dead and now its me. YIPPEE#a2t#for my tooth stuff#dental tw#idk . i used to have a mut who needed that tagged but idk if theyre still with us. in that ive lost many mutuals in my years so they may be#gone DNRNFJFNJF but jic. if u r here sry i thot you werent.. sry...
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twice in less than 2 pages..... tolstoj sir i beg you ENOUGH with this pregnancy propaganda πππ
#also. how is what happens to a pregnant woman 'mysterious' in any way? i never understood it#i mean. maybe it was in the second half of nineteenth century but now? 'the mystery of life' no actually we all know how *that* happens#no mystery there. it's the simplest most basic thing in the world and the reason the human race still exists lmao#i know i know it's not literal but still. i understand saying it in tolstoy's times but now? in 2024? a bit too much don't you think?#anyway if i didn't listen to the great comet i would have really been afraid andrej was done for here#ik ik he's one of the protagonists tolstoj can't kill him so soon into the story#but it's the grrm effect i think#also. i'm REALLY curious to see how he and natasha meet and fall in love#because while he's still quite young he's married and on the verge of becoming a father while she's just 15#i guess he's like. 8 years older than she is? maybe 10?#and yes i know *spoilers for those who haven't read the book* he dies and then she marries pierre#who's about andrej's age so also older than her#still. i'm curious! natasha is such an extrovert bright sunny young thing#while andrej can look a bit haughty tho he's very good-hearted. he has the - how did tolstoj put it?#- l'orgoglio della ragione (the pride of reason)#i can see why pierre would fall in love with her. but andrej? that's interesting i guess#*alexa play no one else from tgc of 1812 please*#val reads w&p#val speaks#txt
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imo everyone on earth should be talking about Him (don't want this showing up in the tag even though it's not a diss) but everytime i go to the tag and there's only like 3 new posts i'm like. oh yeah almost no one cares except me and like 5 other ppl on here
i ran out of tags KFHSJENNXN i don't think that's literally ever happened to me before anyways don't read them because it's just me being insane as per usual
#most of his indirects on twitter are from people in diff asian countries as well and ik he's doing an asia tour soon(?)#bruh he's never coming back to the usa is he πππ i need him in chicago i miss him so bad#i feel very ugly emotionally rn still bc i was reading all of the rando ass dating rumors of him last night LMAO and it pissed me off#i know i have no right to get mad and i'm being irrational but at the same time like. everyone is just like 'omg he's so in love rn'#bc his music has been very angsty and like. idk... conflicted? but his new song was very happy and sweet and very In Love Sounding#and i already know all his music is about one person bc he always talks about the same shit (he's very predictable i see right thru him)#and he's putting out a new song called 'shining' and he has been talking abt a person being his light/shining on him for the last 7yrs atp#so like. that's how i know it's about one specific person and i don't think he has moved on LMAOOO so unless he was dating the same random#7yrs ago i don't think he's dating any of the people they bring up tbh... i pay attention to these things not to brag or anything but like#being attentive to the people i love and noticing inconsistincies in their behavior and when they act diff is like. the only skill i have#at least irt other people LMAO like honestly i wrote all the lyrics he ever wrote down in a google doc and it shows a clear trajectory#that starts like... innocently and just gets more fucked up and toxic as it goes. and ppl say he's one of the most sane ppl they know#meanwhile he's been writing songs about 1 person for nearly 10 years and they get progressively more desperate and insane#I'M JUST SAYING. i completely forgot what my original point was but i guess it was most likely that. no one pays attention to him like i do#the songs started being about this person at the same time i started liking him and having dreams about meeting him btw#and they got progessively more uh. spiteful and desperate and weird as the years went on. did i mention i cast a spell on him π#and he literally says shit like 'it's impossible for me to move on' 'i don't care about anyone else' 'it's like i'm possessed' etc#and after we met at his concert he got really into saying shit like 'that one night wasn't enough' and 'the spotlight between us'#&the ever-famous 'i like the way you look at me' 'my eyes are on you' 'focus on me just look at me' when all i did was look at him all night#if you're reading this right now and thinking 'celeste do you seriously believe a kpop guy has been writing songs about you for 7 years?'#you should remember who i am and how i reacted to ***** having a gf (that i guessed exactly right months before he revealed it)#i'm schizophrenic π€·ββοΈ but the guy i'm into was the one who started my fascination with soulmates and destiny and fate and shit like that#you know it's funny i mention that because he also started writing about that!!!!! in his songs!!! crazy#and he talks about the person making it hard for him to sleep and wanting to meet them in his dreams again and whathaveyou#i mean even in his two newest title tracks he says 'i'm frustrated in the studio the only melody that comes out is for you' and#'i want to turn everything about you into a song' in the newest one... hm.#and btw he announced his album right when i admitted i was in love with him again to my family (they know my insanity LMAO)#and he releases a song about being happy and in love and listening for someone's voice from far away to reach him/vice versa?????#right when i get back into him???#it's my fave color & his fave color & he's releasing it in my birth month like. i know billions of coincidences are a thing but it's crazy
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when i was a kid the idea of like surprise birthday parties was so like. idk i wanted it and it never happened but now its actually like. gonna happen to me but at a really really bad time when i am going to be very stressed and whatever the surprise thing is will probably make it worse so its like. hmm. early birthday gift of being nauseous with anxiety a month in advance
#my brother had good intentions telling me but also like. i have been tearing up all night and when i tried to explain my reservations to him#i just felt stupid so its. mm. this sucks#its also weird bc like. guuuhhgg i had a weird Thing a while ago that was apparently really bad i guess#so it feels like. idk. my mother trying to 'fix' that with this. so i feel like i cant say no to it#(especially bc she doesnt know i kinda know about it)#but its also like. well. when it happens i might really really freak out badly and that would ruin things for everyone. right.#kind of feel like im stuck between a rock and a hard place here bc like i WANT to talk to my mother abt this but also again she doesnt know#that i know and i dont want her to be disappointed that my brother said something to me. even though i dont know what the surprise is#just that there is one planned#also in recent years ive realized i get i suppose anxious when people get me gifts i havent Asked for#so surprises like this arent really my thing anymore. i think when i was a kid i mostly wanted one bc in tv shows theres always a lot#of people there for it and i was a lonely child.#anyway i realize this is something of a stupid thing to complain about#in my defense i feel like a lot of things that should be 'about me'#(however self centered that sounds. it makes me wince to say trust me.)#are made to be more about other people namely my immediate family.#so like my gender isnt about me its about how my mother feels about it. and my birthday isnt about me its about other people celebrating it#again ik ik its a stupid complaint. just saying that because of that *points up* which ive been feeling for nearly 10 years now#its all a bit of a tender bruise. emotionally speaking. for me.#personal
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i wanna be a vtuber just so i can meet cool people and make friends
#text post#unfortunatelyΒ i don't know the first thing about video editing or streaming or. anything#i did apply for sony's last year bc their first round only required an essay#i feel like...i feel like i could be somewhat entertaining in front of a 'crowd'#but the market is so saturated now i offer nothing creative or different than everyone else#but just#how easy it is for these guys to make communities and friends and then go see them irl etc etc i am so seethingly jealous lol#and i mean like. the popular ones get loads of money too but anyway#on the other hand im not sure id be a great vtuber for some other reasons#like#i couldn't stream every day for sure i know id burn out#and even when i do stream these guys stream for HOURS#i get bored playing a video game for more than like 2 hours at a time lmao#(tho i did play like 10 hours straight of totk on release day lol)#anyway#this has been brought to you by elianna watching a lot of nijisanji clips again#i think vox is my favorite#i really like ike too though#also just.#i like the idea of having a nontraditional job that brings in money and allows me to live#i don't...i don't wanna sit at an office desk for 8 hours a day yall#i cant do it#my ALT job was cushy bc i honestly didnt have to work that hard lmao and i made enough money to live with no problems#buh
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just started rewatching ugly betty bc i had read some v excellent betty/daniel fic i thought recently but i guess it was a couple years ago lol, i just couldnβt follow everything, because i didnβt remember all the characters/plots that well ANYWAY from what i remember idt i really thought of betty/daniel romantically until the end of the series, i remember liking her with henry before he became a shit (at least iβm pretty sure thatβs what happened, i havenβt watched since this show since it ended 13 years ago) but other than that thereβs not TOO much that sticks with me, i just know i loved the ending but ofc was left wanting more at the time but ya while i think i was reading fic on ff.net in 2010 there were only a few things i wouldβve been searching for at that point SO once i get through the series iβm gonna have so much fun bc i read 3 fics from that author and theyβve published like 12 more stories this year and iβm gonna be able to understand them so much better, but yeah just now rewatching the pilot iβm like oh my god how did i not immediately love them i mean obviously daniel was a dick but he apologized and at the end of the ep heβs watching her fondly and iβm just ahhhh over them already bc i know the romantic aspect aside thereβs such excellent growth in them and their relationship and i canβt wait to watch it play out
#ik there will be the storylines i DON'T love and ofc rebecca romijn playing a trans woman#and i'm sure loads of transphobia in her storyline itself#but yeah like i remember the characters fondly and everything but so much is of course gone from my head#also obvs it at least got a proper finale which is something but i wonder if it would've gone longer if not for the writers strike#i need to add all the things i watched in that period of time to my watchlist bc there's a lot i loved#and some i drifted away from bc that was in the time where like you had to watch it live#and were lucky to catch the episode repeating later#so like i stopped watching bones and heroes and supernatural (actually not sure i got past season 1 of supernatural at the time#though...i should not have been watching that at 10 probably lol and ofc i later watched it through in college then stopped again#so. i still have to actually finish that eventually)#and then pushing daisies i THINK i watched all of#but i remember they had like the last few episodes air after ages and ages or something and i'm not sure i got to watch them#once it got to like 2009/2010 i was able to watch stuff online though all i remember is starting glee from the beginning a little bit late#maybe still in season 1 just the first episodes idk but it was only 72 minutes at a time and it was the WOOOORST#love having everything at my fingertips now lol for the most part anyway#but yeah other than like one tree hill and gg and charmed most things from the mid-2000s i have not watched since then so#i gotta think of what else there is bc much as i love it i do not actually need to rewatch gg every year
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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i am home in my own bed, cleaner than i've been in over a month and also a lil bit tipsy
it's been a whirlwind of a month (for good and for bad) and it's been a super long day and i'm so happy to be home but more than that i'm so happy to have somewhere that feels like home. somewhere that feels permanent, somewhere that i miss when i'm away, somewhere i'm grateful to return to.
#i've had super unstable living situations for the better part of the last 10 years and this is the first place i've lived since then#where i don't constantly have the Awareness that i'll have to uproot again sometime in the near future lurking in the back of my mind#i moved in a year ago and it's the longest i've lived anywhere since i was 16.#and i brought back a bunch more of my stuff that was in storage and now my room finally feels like Mine in a way it hasn't since i was 16#i think because a lot of the things i brought back signify that i'm living somewhere i intend to stay#and ik from years of flatting during uni that it's often luck of the draw and you're doing well to wind up somewhere tolerable so#it's super lovely to have been away for so long and realise that i miss this house and these people and i'm genuinely excited to be back !!#i feel really really lucky to be living where i do and with the people i live with#and i'm just feeling v sentimental tonight it seems :')#kiwi speaks#personal#positive blogging#when was the last time i used those two tags together lol
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need bnha town to change the criteria of the hero billboard chart so it doesn't feel like a popularity contest
#idk how to word it but you know how in the entrance exams deku got rescue points#how to word rhe thoughts ive been feeling for a while#years#ever since the bb chart csme out probably#cuz rhen we get endeavor types#which#i could go into that i wont but it's better to focus less on 1 person at the top and go into the groupvteam work kinda thing#which is ofc what the series has mentioned many times but#putting that ahead of like wHoS thE MoSt POopulAr#which ik top 10 are very strong but#im rambling stoppppp i need to eat my blue takis and doodle my head hurts so bad#my ps4 was havung a disc eject error and i was struggling tocfind a fckng screw driver that fit cuz mine is broken but i got a hex key#when icremoved rhe glossy part to get to the hard drive i was a little too agfressive and a 2mm pirce of plastic broke rippp#it was smth near the power button#this thing is so old like 10 years#i think it's the og ones#my sister Needed to watch a barbie movie which is how i found iut the eject thing was fucked up#anyways all good now :)#this has nothing to do w anything im just a yapper#scarlett.txt#brain fog hitting me hard rn fok
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I have to be up for work in 3 hours and I'm gonna be real I think ive hit the point where I might not be getting any sleep at all. for fucks sake.
#ive survived all nighters before ill scrape through the day itll just be Rough. at least i dont have much in my schedule#im not gonna take the dose this morning bc i think thats a really bad idea to do on zero hours sleep#and i can't risk two consecutive all nighters. like I have done that before but not while working full time π its not worth it#drafting an email to my doctor to let her know im skipping day 2 + ask advice re. whether its worth resuming again on day 3#bc she did list 'trouble sleeping' as a common symptom that often passes but i need to know a) how long it usually takes to pass and-#b) if this is unusually bad + would she rec supplementing with a sleep aid or just switching tack entirely and trialling a non stimulant#by this stage of the night i dont think its actually acting anymore bc i took it at 7am and its now 3am. it shouldnt last that long#i think its more just triggered my preexisting insomnia. my ability to sleep is very very sensitive sometimes + hates routine changes#just so fucking frustrating bc ive spent the past 2 months nailing my sleep routine + ive had a couple weeks of being able to-#go to bed like 9:30-10 and it only takes an hour to get to sleep and i get usually a good 7 hours sometimes 8 only waking once halfway#and i dont feel like utter shit like yeah im tired but from work not so much lack of sleep.... and now thats all fucked lmao#whatever. maybe i should just take the next dose anyway#ill see. gonna try to sleep for another 2 hours but once it hits 5 im not doing this anymore ive been trying for six hours already man#i cant even remember when i last pulled a full all nighter. it might be longer than 6 months ago... i was doing so well :-(#im so mad i was so hopeful it would have SOME good effect like ik its not a miracle worker + these things take time but so many people-#seem to have an immediate positive response even if its probably a placebo. and i got fuck all except This.#i was searching on the reddit for sleep issues and other ppl only seem to report bad ones on higher doses or years in..#like damn. do i even have adhd then. ik thats a stupid thing to think bc obvs everyones body metabolises meds differently etc but still#it is ALMOST HALF 3 and i am FUCKING TIRED#UGH. alright bedtime round 189447383#.diaries#.vent
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β πππππππ, πππππππ π«
max verstappen x singer!fem reader // smau
β€· summary: when max verstappen starts commenting on the posts of the beloved singer y/n l/n, fans are confused and less than enthusiastic at the new friendship. what they could never expect is just how long they've been 'friends'...
based on this request <3
ββββββ ΰΌ»β©βββΎββΊβ§ΰΌΊ ββββββ
liked by sabrinacarpenter, maxverstappen1, and 46,908 others
tagged sabrinacarpenter
ynusername my new album is now officially out on all platforms! thank you so so much for all of the love and support, and special thanks to sab for her feature on the song <33 love u bb girl π«¦π«¦ now that the album's out, tour next!!! see you all soon!
23,560 comments
user1 THE ALBUM OUT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
user2 i cannot be normal about this i fear
user3 ik her back hurts from CARRYING the music industry on her back π©
user4 hey so WHO TF IS SO AMERICAN ABOUT?? A LOVE SONG
user5 y/n writing a love song in god's year of 2024... wow
user6 y/n in the top 10 charts, fork found in kitchen
user7 sabrina and y/n are never beating the gf allegations
ynusername damn right we're not π
user7 HOLY SHIR HOKY SHIT HOKST SHUT
user8 y/n's in love and it's not with me, hanging myself as we speak
user9 the comment is gonna get reported but so real op
οΏΌuser8 can't a woman hang herself in peace π£
user10 album's such a banger i had this shit bumpin at my grandmas funeral ππΌ rest in piece nancy ποΈπͺπ»
user11 OH MY GOD???
user12 rest in piece nancy you would've loved make you mine π
ynusername oh my god please tell me your joking
user10 sorry queen the grind never stops
ynusername NO SHOT
maxverstappen1 great album! ππΌ
user13 why does he text like my father π§π»ββοΈ
user14 brother eughh
user15 what da hell is a polar bear doin in arlington texas
ynusername thank you max!!!
user16 y/n l/n to redbull in 2025
user17 hellurrrrr who is this man in ur likes y/n
user18 f1 driver!!
user17 Y/N NO ATHELETES PLEAEJEWK π«΅
user18 tour content soon??? i'm sat
ββββββ ΰΌ»β©βββΎββΊβ§ΰΌΊ ββββββ
user19 bro looks like he snuck onto earth, get his ass outta here
user20 grammy-award winner, vogue cover model, new york university graduate and Some Fucking Guy
user21 not y'all coming to her defense like the mighty morphin power rangers ππ he's literally a world class athete and she writes pop music
user20 17.172.224.47
user21 IS THAT MY IP ADDRESS??
user20 melinda charleton
user22 IS THAT HIS MOTHER'S NAME!!?1?1!
user20 you want me to do you too???
user22 no we good π
user23 ruth bader ginsberg did not die for this
user24 now wtf does this have to do with babe ruth π€¨
user25 WHOOOOO π§
user24 ... that wasn't right was it
user26 now let's be fr he does NAWT have a chance
user27 have u seen the marble-carved οΏΌ goddesses these men pull, i fear he does π
user28 please no i feel ill
user29 TWO???? OH HELL NAW
user30 two might be pushing it, only one was confirmed
user31 jesus christ
user32 first taylor, now this
user33 yall, all he commented was great album ππ yall are LEAPING to conclusions
user34 what can i say it's an art
user35 i do not see ποΈπποΈ
user36 no like ππ im in your walls
user37 haha max verstappen!! right!!! (theres a sniper at ur location)
user38 omg ur so right π€© it is about him (i have a bomb strapped to my chest)
user39 i dont mean to sound stupid, idk who that man is, if i saw him on the streets i wouldnt know a thing π₯±
user40 this is so random too like what π
user41 the power of kindness won't work here, i have to throw him off a building
user42 i used to be a max verslsjjwwo lover π€© now im just a max verslsjjwwo hater π
user43 NURSE π«΅ SHE'S OUT AGAIN
user44 why would u put that into the universe π§
user45 alright, lets get you to bed grandma
user46 mari stop being delusion and go touch grass π§π»ββοΈ
user47 ENOUGHHHH
user48 ain't no way in hell π
user49 ik ur feet hurt from all this jumping to conclusions babe
user50 lets leave the parkour to the athletes π
ββββββ ΰΌ»β©βββΎββΊβ§ΰΌΊ ββββββ
liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 54,789 others
ynusername italy thanks for letting me be inside you (; it was such a lovely show, expect me back asap!!!!
15,267 comments
user51 IT WAS SO GOOD I THNK I BLACKED OUT THE WHOLE TIME THO
user52 oh!
user51 oh so now this isn't a safe space
user53 LANDO AND MAX IN TGE LIKES??? NO NO NO NO
user54 ABORT ABORT ABORT
user55 y'all are doing too much π she's one of the top artists in the world, i think it's safe to say they might like her music
user56 the second picture π§π»ββοΈdo you need a stool cause i can kneel and be really quiet
user57 y/n fans be normal challenge (impossible!!!) (never done before)
user56 WOMP WOMP
maxverstappen1 wonderful show! ππΌ you are so talented
ynusername ty max (: im glad you could come see me
user57 ain't NO WAYYYYYY
user59 THIS IS SIXKENJNG IM GONNA PUKE
sabrinacarpenter my gf looking sexy π«¦π«¦π«¦
ynusername only for u bbg π§π»ββοΈπ§π»ββοΈπ§π»ββοΈ
user60 BOOOO π£οΈ GET A ROOM
user61 do y'all need a third!!!!
user62 mamma mia pizza pasta mozzerella moment
user63 i just put u on a watchlist
user62 π§π»ββοΈ
landonorris RAHHHHHH οΏ½οΏ½οΏ½οΏ½π«΅π£οΈβΌοΈ
ynusername RAHHH RAHHH RAHHH RISE POWER POWER πͺπ»βΌοΈ
user63 what the fuck
user64 OH GOD WHAT IF SHES DATING HIM????
ynusername brother eughhhh
landonorris WHAT THE FUCK????
user65 SINCE WHEN IS SHE FRIENDS WITH F1 DRIVERS HOW MANY CHAPTWRS DID I MISS
user66 apparently we all went into a universal coma while she was out galavanting cause idk how else this could've happened
ββββββ ΰΌ»β©βββΎββΊβ§ΰΌΊ ββββββ
maxverstappen1 posted to his story!
(caption: beautiful show)
22,456 replies
ββββββ ΰΌ»β©βββΎββΊβ§ΰΌΊ ββββββ
user67 someone save my girl bro, she don't know any better π
user68 it's like a little kid trying to touch the hot stove, LIKE STOP THAT!! DON'T DO THAT
user69 am i the only one who thinks they'd be cute together....
user70 YES!?!?
user71 there is literally no fucking way he bagged her
user72 losing y/n to european f1 driver would be the biggest american tragedy since 2001
user73 i had to read this shit twice, op what r u waffling abt π«΅π§
user74 can't even be nonchalant about this one bro, i'm chalanting hard asf
user75 we do not care
ββββββ ΰΌ»β©βββΎββΊβ§ΰΌΊ ββββββ
liked by redbullracing, f1, and 78,567 others
tagged maxverstappen1
ynusername first time in monaco, safe to say i enjoyed myself! so happy to see you shine this time my love<3
25,788 comments
user76 oh. my. fucking. god
user77 THEYRE FUCKING DATING OH MYFODNSJ
user78 THAT SHOULD BE MEEEE HOLDING YOUR HAND THAT SHOULD BE MEEE MAKING YOU LAUGHHH π€
user79 i'm in mourning
sabrinacarpenter CHEATER π«΅
ynusername BABY IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, IT WAS JUST ONE TIME π£π£π£ IT WAS A MISTAKE
maxverstappen1 we've been dating for 2 years??
sabrinacarpenter SHUT UP FAST & FURIOUS NO ONE ASKED YOU
user80 i'm sorry π two Y EARS
user81 i feel like i just got dumped. y/n don't do this, the kids need you π
maxverstappen1 i got p1 for you, i love you π«ΆπΌ
ββββββ ΰΌ»β©βββΎββΊβ§ΰΌΊ ββββββ
hope you all enjoyed! please let me know your thoughts and feel free to leave a request for me to write something for your fav <3
#f1 x female reader#f1 x reader#f1 x y/n#formula 1#f1#f1 smut#f1 x you#formula one#f1 imagine#f1 smau#max verstappen smau#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x y/n
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hi! can u write about a drunk love confession lolll ππ
Whyβd you only call me when your high?
Joost Klein x fem!reader
warnings: swearing, bad grammar, mentions of alc0hol
summary: you and Joost have been friends for a few years now but ever since he got more recognized after his song βfriesenjungβ came out you both became more distant. What will you do after he calls you for the first time in months, drunk?
A/N: this is um.. long .. enjoy!
ｑ β β Λｑβ β Λｑβΰ¨β‘ΰ§β Λｑβ β Λββ ｑ
β°ββ€ βｑβ§ΛΚ π¦ ΙΛβ§ο½‘β
You were alone in the house, your parents went off to the neighbours to go grilling. You decided to not go since you were doing things with them the whole day and you just felt exhausted. You went to cook yourself a quick meal, just some toast with whatever on top. You looked at the time, 10:28PM. Joost was performing currently in Amsterdam, not that you knew anything about it. He was probably going to get a few drinks with friends after it like he usually did after his last concert of the season. He has probably long forgot about you, probably replacing you with someone else by now. Ever since he became more famous, you both stopped reaching out as often. There wasnβt any hate behind it, Joost wasnβt the type to cut people off because of fame which you loved about him and you missed him dearly you just.. drifted apart?
You went back up to your room, deciding to go to sleep early tonight, opening the window for some cool air to come into the room. The covers called your name, snuggling into them and getting comfortable. You fall asleep a few minutes later, the room was dark and the wind entered your room like an unwelcome guest, goosebumps appearing on your skin.
A buzzing noise wakes you up, your phone lighting up and blinding your tired eyes. You try and get up, body still a bit weak since you woke up about 5 seconds ago. You grab your phone and your heart skips a beat, the name βduckβ appearing on your phone. It was a nickname you gave to Joost years ago. You were teens, trying to make up nicknames for each other and you just took the word dutch and turned it into duck. You watch it ring for a few seconds and then sigh, cursing a bit then pick it up. βHello?β You say, your voice raspy and very tired sounding. βHallo?β You hear the dutch accent you oh so loved come through the phone. βHello, hello.β You turn around and lay on your stomach, waiting for him to speak. The noises in the background were loud and clear, loud music coming through the phone. βIs dat het meisje waar je het over had?β (Is that the girl you were talking about?) βja ja ga nu..β (yea yea, go now.)
He shifted around before he spoke again. βSorry, whatβs up?β You raise a brow, was this some kind of phone call you get from your dad once a year? βNothing much, why are you calling me?β He chuckles, voice deep and handsome like always. βCan I not call mijn liefde?β (my love) βWhat are you on about Joost? Are you drunk?β βNo, no.β He slurs, making you scoff. βYeah, yeah.β He was mumbling things in dutch you couldnβt understand; βIk wil niemand anders dan jou.. mijn lief meisje.β (I want no one else but you.. my sweet girl.) βFucking hell Joost.. where the hell are you? Is Apson with you?β He nods, which you barely heard but at least he gave you an answer. Apson would mostly stay sober, only having a few drinks so you decided to call him. He picked up, voice cheerful like always. You told him to take Joost home since he sounded like he had enough for the night and he kindly agreed. You thank him, ending the call with him before trying to go back to sleep.
3:07AM, another phone call wakes you up. βWhat the fuck is wrong with him..β You ask yourself before picking up. βJoost itβs 3AM can you go to sleep?β You demand and he just smiles. Oh yeah you were on face time now, great. You looked like a zombie compared to him, he looked more energetic than you did, his hair wet and it looked like he was shirtless. Probably just got out of the shower. βI wanted to see your stunning face schatje.β He says, laying down on his side, the side of his face resting against a pillow.
You sigh, watching him like a hawk. The light coming from his side of the phone blinded you, making you groan. βWhat do you want? Iβm exhausted from your bullshit.β You say and he pouts; βWhy are you so mean, hm? Do you not miss me?β He asks, smiling, his adorable, genuine smile. βJoost stop it.β He chuckled, moving around in his room when he suddenly turned his lights off, the only light that let you see his face was from his LEDs. He started mumbling things again, his voice lulling you to sleep but you fought back the urge to sleep. βJij bent zo schitterend..β (youβre so stunning) βJoost Iβm hanging up.β βNo, no.. Blijf bij me.β (stay with me) βIk wil je Y/N.β (I want you Y/N.) βIk krijg je niet uit mijn hoofd.β (I canβt get you out of my head.) All of these things meant nothing to you. You didnβt speak dutch, maybe a few phrases and words but you werenβt fluent. You brushed off all of those phrases, when he said the one thing he taught you during your time as close friends. βIk hou van jou lieverd.β (I love you sweetheart.)
You face turned bright red, quickly hanging up and flipping onto your back. Your eyes were wide eyed, staring at the dark ceiling above you. You internally scream, maybe he meant it in a friendly way? But the nickname?? It was weird. He was just drunk after all, it probably didnβt even mean anything. You try to fall asleep, tossing and turning before finally succeeding.
Morning came quicker than usual, making your stomach turn and face feel hot. You didnβt even dare open your phone, deciding to pack your things and head home to Amsterdam a little earlier than expected. You booked a flight, canceling the one you were supposed to take 3 days later then this one.
The minute you got home you opened the messages. Some were from last night and some were from a few minutes ago. You tried replying but no words were coming to mind, your fingers just hovering above the cold screen.
βββββββββββββββββββ
Duckπ¦π
Y/N
Y/N
Hello??
why did u hang up hm?
blijf bij me
please
ik krijg je niet uit mijn hoofd
sent 16 hours ago
βββββββββ new messages βββββββββ
Y/N
Im so sorry I woke u up yesterday
I was drunk haha
hope to see u soon, today Im performing in that club we used to go to as teens
ill look for u after
βββββββββββββββββββ
You contemplated whether to go or not. You wanted to see him, but another part of you didnβt. Why should you be the one running back to him? It made no sense to you, yet you went. It was like you were in a daze, getting ready, taking the train to the city he was performing in.. it all felt forced in a way. You got stopped by a few fans then made your way to the barrier. You bought a ticket last minute most people already in the club waiting for their idol to come up on stage. 15 minutes until it started, you felt disgusting. Sweaty fan girls who never heard of a shower were all around you, all you wanted to do was curl yourself into a ball and dissapear on the spot. It will be so akward talking after almost a year of barely knowing of each otherβs pressence yet you still wanted to see him, hug him.. kiss him.
The concert went by fast, you and Joost making eye contact several times which made you even more anxious than you were before. You walked back stage, most of the security recognising you and letting you pass which surprised you. The halls felt endless, walking in front of his door you gently knocked almost instantly hearing footsteps. And there he was. He changed a lot. His hair was now longer, looking more mature but he was still there. Your Joost. βWerenβt you supposed to be the one looking for me?β He rubbed his neck, chuckling awkwardly before pulling you into the room. It looked like he was trying to find the right words to start which made you count down the dreadful seconds going by.
βWell, what I said yesterday was true. I donβt remember all of it but from the messages I said it was pretty obvious. I really do love you and I hate that you arenβt by my side. I hate that I canβt wake up with you in my arms. I miss you. I miss your smile, your energy, I miss hearing your thoughts, I miss everything about you. Liefje please I need you I canβt live without you.β He looked at you with those beautiful ocean blue eyes, looking desperate but it was obvious he truly meant every single word. You smile softly, cupping his cheeks. βI love you too. You have no idea how much Iβve been missing you. It was like a part of my heart was taken away from me.β He kissed your forehead, smiling down at you. βI promise to never leave you. Never.β βPromise.β
ｑ β β Λｑβ β Λｑβΰ¨β‘ΰ§β Λｑβ β Λββ ｑ
β°ββ€ βｑβ§ΛΚ π¦ ΙΛβ§ο½‘β
#joost klein fanfiction#joost klein x you#joost klein x reader#joostice for joost#joost x reader#justice for joost#joost klein#free joost#stand with joost#joost klein requests#joost klein x y/n
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