#and if you can't afford the card you can just die

[kroosluvr]

january 9

ok i have a lot of thoughts. erm. buckle in

im sure everyone agrees that the joker vs sumire fight on jan 9 was so nothing..... so i wanted to raise the stakes. UP THE ANTE.

so to make it more intense life-and-death situation, in my head sumire basically tosses her own life away at joker in a "one of us is gonna die here and honestly? i dont care which way the cards fall"

"either i die here -> sumire doesn't have to live anymore. or, i kill you and i get my true reality (and sumire doesn't have to live anymore.)"

joker notices this immediately, by the wild way she fights all of a sudden. however crow doesn't notice bc i think he sees sumire as inexperienced and just assumes joker will win by default (like he does in canon. nothingburger fight.....)

but joker is too damn cautious, knowing one wrong move might result in her demise or his downfall...

i think here he only deflects with his melee, doesn't even try to summon his personas. crow notices smth is off and then sumire manages to get a deep hit on him w cendrillon+her sword

which activates crow bc. at this point he dgaf abt sumire BUT he doesnt want joker to die.

(ironically, crow's selfish goal to Help Joker helps sumire bc she then realizes that she's being irrational/hurting one of her dear friends (akira).. she didnt really think abt how this choice of the ideal reality would affect him (or goro)

also i always thought crow just walking away frm that fight was kinda lame so. just the idea of akira Faltering... about to let himself get killed.. in a way Giving In to the Wrong Choice of the ideal reality.... yeah that'd piss him off BIG time

(though, if i framed it in the way this comic does, crow walking away at first to let joker handle it is so real. bc hes like i cant be wasting time on this, just let akira handle her and then we can go back to figuring out how to conquer this palace and maruki etc. Sumire is small potatoes rn)

also akira being too compassionate/sensitive abt her emotions to fight her directly bc he can see how shes barely hanging on by a thread.. ough ough ough.....

but also sumire being so angry and desperate that she dgaf if she hurts akira rn. OHHHH OUCHHH OWIE

also this is the scene i showed in the bg of this comic! (sorry twitter link im lazy

"she'd rather die at our hands than her own" implying if she lost here and didnt die, she'd kill herself upon returning to the True reality bc she cant live with "sumire" anymore. okkk.. yeah

"This is the only way. I know you know that too, Joker" -> the only way back to our reality as we know it. we can't afford to be soft if it'll kill us. if this is truly sumire's choice, then we HAVE to fight. we can't back down here.

(and, also, this is the only way to show sumire that we're serious: we won't let her live as kasumi, she has to face herself, she can't run off to some dystopian ideal reality - this is the only way!!!!!)

Dying's easy. we already know sumire would die to become kasumi, to become a better gymnast, to not be sumire anymore. But would she kill for it. Who would she kill for it

[moonsaver]

hihi!! could I req some platonic aventurine hcs with a teen!reader?

Fun !

--

He's, in possibly no better words, your ride or die best friend.

I can just imagine him coming to pick you up wherever you live with a Regina George attitude like, "get in loser we're going shopping" (affectionate)

He's very fond of you! Loves having just a buddy around, even tries teaching you some card and coin tricks, giggles sneakily with you in huge casinos as he places bets and shamelessly shows you how he's cheating and turning the game to his favor. He's not sure whether or not he wants you to help him cheat, though. That could spell trouble for you..

Such a Annoying Big Brother vibe, but he's so annoyingly affectionate too. Even platonically, he's literally all over you. Sometimes to embarass you, he acts like some kind of a mother hen, or says embarassing things out loud like "mom said get back before 8 PM for bedtime!" In front of all your friends.

As I said, Aventurine is annoying, even while platonically affectionate. If you're shorter than him, he uses you as an elbow rest, and smugly smiles at you. If you're taller than him, tells you that you're growing too fast and need to slow down, and that you can't have any more milk. Constantly ruffles your hair for fun, pinches your cheeks like an asian aunt, kisses your forehead sloppily and enjoys the cringe on your face when you wipe your forehead.

As I mentioned, he's an absolute asian aunt to you. Makes you sit down and feeds you too much, tells you "kids like you need a balanced diet", obviously quoting someone, as he shoves another platter of whatever he thought was healthy towards you. If you ever find him at a bar, he's the one scolding you as if he wasn't making bets on his life in there. If he can't leave, makes you sit near him and tells the bartender you can't have anything alcoholic, and maybe you should have a glass of milk like all the other kiddos drink. The bartender gives you soda and Aventurine probably drinks half of it anyway.

If anyone's picking on you.. it's alright! Just fun and games, this is how things work in friendships. He'll scare them enough to keep them silent, though! Probably looms around you threateningly with hired bodyguards just to scare them into silence. If you get physically bullied, he's not having it at all. When he finds out,his smug smile drops for a moment, and returns again, but you can tell something's off. He suggests paying back tenfold. Whatever happens next? They had it coming, he tells you.

Loves shopping with you. Purposefully picks out ugly clothing and tells you "you'd look GREAT in this!" And snickers. You have to pick out something equally ugly and take pictures. Half of your shopping is general clothing and the other half are just horrendous clothing you both decided to buy as momentos. Sometimes, when both of you have sleepovers, you put on a diy fashion show and act like divas in these ugly clothes, dying laughing from just how clashing and horrid it looks.

Gets matching sunglasses with you! Maybe he'll customize the shade to match your complexion, but it's definitely matching with his.

Worried that people might come after you. Deep down he's afraid of losing you. After some time you become like family to him. He doesn't have a lot to his name, and could afford to lose everything. But now that you're there, he worries about it. Sometimes, overthinking leads to other worries that you might leave him, cut him off, or not find him "fun" anymore. But all that ends up being pushed to the back of his mind, and he smiles again at you, deciding it's not the time to worry about something like that.

[whorekneecentral]

sd! toto? this man is the biggest sugar daddy material hands down, like a billionaire. maybe the reader is student at Harvard (i know this type of prompt has been used many times but I can’t think of anything else 😭) she’s studying to be a professor and can’t seem to be paying her student loans. And her friend invited her over to the paddock for the weekend to get her mind off of her studies and relax, where she then meets Toto and there’s a attraction which then leads to him being her secret sugar daddy?

-jenson anon ❤️

jenson anon you are so sexy for this idea ily bae <3333

you thought you knew him from somewhere; your friend ran in all the high end, luxury circles because of who her parents were and when she introduced you to the team principal of mercedes; you knew you had seen him before.

he remembered you before you remembered him - the two of you had met when he did a lecture at harvard. you were telling him that you were getting your PhD so become a professor and he said if you ever changed your mind, you could come work for them.

you never bothered with his comment, you figured you'd never see him again; you had been too busy to even think about that. between school and working to be able to pay for school, you barely had time to breathe.

the only reason you were there is cause your friend's parents paid for everything.

the afternoon goes by, everyone gets busy and your friend eventually disappears when she sees someone she knows.

you were sat in merc hospitality, having a coffee when someone asked if they could sit with you. you look over and see toto.

you tell him go ahead and you two make small talk. he asks how the PhD is going, you tell him it's slowly killing you.

"what do you mean?" the man pushes his glasses up a bit, looking at you.

you shrug, "I might die before I pay back the loans I have." you joked, not really tho.

toto shook his head, "so stupid that you need loans to go to school, to work just to pay back the loans."

"tell me about it." you sighed, spinning the cup around on the table. it goes quiet for a bit before he speaks. "let me pay for it."

you look at him like he's insane, "no, absolutely not. you're very kind for offering but I cannot let you do that."

"why not? it's a good use of my money."

"I wouldn't be able to pay you back, it would kill me to just take the money from you."

toto nods, telling you he understood and the conversation drops.

"we can work something out," he starts and you cut him off, "I can't afford that-"

"no, not like that. uh, so I was thinking more along the lines of you just giving me some company."

you get what he meant and you can't help but laugh. "I'm not looking to be a sugar baby."

"no of course not," he shook his head, "just two friends who benefit from each other?"

"well when you put it like that." you nod, smiling.

toto asked you to join him for the races over your summer break, in exchange he paid for your next two semesters.

you got to travel the world and he got the company he wanted, while your school was paid for.

it was nice, you got to explore on the days you didn't join him on track. he left a card with you which you used for emergencies but he left it with you incase you wanted to shop or stop to eat somewhere. you two had dinner together almost every night, unless he was working late.

he spoiled you with lavish clothing and jewellery to match; you told him it was too much and he said you needed to fit in with the crowd so he's just making sure you don't stick out.

you both knew he just liked to spoil you, that was the whole thing.

the break in the race schedule came up, the drivers off to rest for the summer. toto asked if you'd like to join him in England, spend a few weeks with him relaxing.

you said okay; the 2 of you spent 2 of the 4 weeks in England, resting and getting to know each other properly- and by that I mean in bed.

one too many glasses of wine turned into flirting, into touches and stolen glances and eventually you two ended up going at it right on the deck.

the next 2 weeks were on an island, a little villa all to yourselves, rolling around in bed all morning, waking up to the sun and your lover kissing on you.

you returned to the paddock, toto a little more touchy than before but no one seemed to say anything even tho they noticed the change in the two of you.

[dearlot]

spending christmas with the yellowjackets 💭

— just random headcanons that include the crash, postcrash, and adult timelines. in no specific order. gn!reader.

christmas in the cabin?!! they had soooo much more to worry about but like let's build a snowman guysss!!! let's cut down a tree and make wood ornaments and give gifts to each other!!! jackie asking you late at night if you think santa would come and deliver presents 😭 all waking up on whatever day you deem Christmas and having a celebration feast? :( lottie making tea for everyone, mari and you trying to make do with all the frozen berries and belts and acorns you've gathered, misty probably singing christmas songs by the fire, unwrapping presents with clothes as wrapping paper.....

the second winter you guys are so much more prepared and also so much more feral. christmas this time around would include a sacrifice for a nice dinner. shauna would disguise it as pulling cards for secret santa but you're actually about to surrender your life or die fighting. you've all got winter outfits too, and i think it'd be cute if everyone else besides lottie and nat wore these little reindeer headpieces during the feast because you guys are their followers. does that make sense? idk.

thinking about being taivan's controversially younger partner during christmas 😁 discounts in van's store (she needs the money ur not getting SHIT for free) and going with them to shop for decorations for the store too😖 gay christmas tree up in van's room...... watching christmas classics while drinking spiked eggnog and cuddling on the couch.... literally getting anything you want because you're their baby. waking up on christmas day, walking down to the kitchen for a quick drink of water first, and seeing tai and van wearing santa hats and kissing 😭

don't even get me started on being adult lottie's partner during christmas. i'll never shut up. i know that wellness center is decorated head to toe and i know she asked you to help her put everything up 😔 she'd give you some hot cocoa after all that hard work and a nice big kiss.

shauna (both adult and postcrash) is the fuckin' worst at hiding your presents, dawg. she probably shoves it in a closet somewhere and hopes you don't need anything from there 😭 of course you find it and immediately know what it is because i wonder what could this black, slightly boxy trash bag possibly be... probably really bad at wrapping too like most of your presents are just covered in tape LMFAO

oughh. spending christmas with post!crash lottie 😖 im ill. trying your best to save up some money to go visit her in swizterland but you just can't afford it :/ mailing polaroids of yourself with all the presents you wanted to send (some of them weren't allowed) and telling her they'll be waiting for her until she gets out :( Christmas with mute!Lottie too.... trying to spread some christmas spirit but its so hard when she's still so broken and won't talk :(( you do what you can though. taking her ice skating and getting a smile and laugh out of her was the highlight of the month.

nat would be so fucking good at gift giving i think....she's always so thoughtful with anything she does for a friend or her lover when making gifts for them because i feel like she'd prefer making rather than buying. little scrapbooks of meaningful places, mixtapes of songs that remind her of you, painting you something even!!!! or even something like getting you this book you really wanted but it comes with this HUGE handwritten note from her that's decorated with stickers and drawings of you and extra goodies she made on her own :(

christmas at lottie's compound with the others!!! you're lottie's closest acolyte and you've gotten closer with the girls as well. thinking about sitting in the circle with them in the sharing shack and they're comfortable enough with you to talk about the murders n shit in front of you 😭 but also going around and giving them gifts!! drinking wine with them and then dancing in the snow, throwing snowballs, and making snow angels >__< falling asleep after getting wasted and you're all kinda just in a pile laying on each other

jackie would buy so. much. mistletoe just to kiss you. you tell her she can just kiss you whenever but she's obsessed with christmas so it HAS to be under mistletoe. i think she'd go crazy during christmas too. you nearly had a heart attack when you came back from work to see a santa cutout peeking from behind a wall 😭 jackie as mrs. claus.....😖😖😖wearing the hat and (her reading) glasses while cooking with you, waking you up as mrs. claus on christmas morning and giving you an hour long present, like, ugh.....

[fingerless-glovez]

Twisted Wonderland Vice Housewarden Persona AU

TW mentions of death

No beastmen, merfolk, or fae outside the Shadow World

NRC is a normal non-magic school in a modern setting (Either UK or US but probably UK)

Everyone lives in their own house 

^ Working title

To enter, you must find the places where the most blot from one person accumulates and dive into the ink

Anyone who hasn't been in the Shadow World can't see or feel the blot. The only exceptions to this is are the Velvet Room residents and Yuu, who unlocks the ability after their first interaction with Igor

Someone who can see the blot can bring those who can't into the Shadow World if they have physical contact while transitioning between worlds (ex: holding hands or bumping into each other)

Those who get sucked into the Shadow World are brought to a place that represents the state of their hearts (aka the dorms)

Think of the dorms as Palaces

They also change into their dorm uniforms and kind of wander around until they meet their shadow (overblot) selves 

They can't leave until they either die or decide to move on from whatever turmoil they're going through that brought them here

The shadow selves manipulate their real-world counterparts into letting them take control until they use too much power and die

The shadow forms become the overblot entities when they capture and take over their host

Once a shadow is defeated, the real world counterparts can leave, but they have to get out before the place implodes on them because the shadow is gone

When someone dies of overblot, their bodies return to where they last were in the real world covered in ink

This has been happening a lot recently, which prompts Igor to summon Yuu to deal with it

(WIP)

The squad is called the Vice Wardens

When they get their Personas their outfits change to their dorm uniforms 

Yuu is the wild card. Yuu's first Persona is either the Ramshackle ghosts. Their Arcana is the Fool and their weapon is a large hammer

They're a first-year transfer student that was found unconscious somewhere and has no ID or anyone to contact 

Leader of the Vice Wardens and, of course, the resident therapist 

Grim doesn’t have a Persona yet, his Arcana is undetermined, and his weapon is hand claws

Joins during the prologue

Grim is in both a Teddie and Morgana situation where he's a shadow but doesn't know it, and when he's in the real world he's just a regular cat that only the team can understand 

Trey's Persona is the Mad Hatter, his Arcana is Temperance and his weapon is a sword 

Joins during the Riddle arc

Before Kalim joined the squad, his house somehow became the team meeting spot. He did NOT agree to this arrangement

ESPECIALLY since his teammates decided it was more appropriate to climb through his window instead of knocking on the door like normal people

Ruggie’s Persona is Shezi, his Arcana is undetermined, and his weapon is undetermined

Joins during the Leona arc

Lives with his grandma and forgoes school to work and help support her financially 

Ruggie can’t afford to attend NRC, but he does sneak in to meet up with the others. And steal food from the cafeteria 

Gets his hyena features with his Vice Warden uniform

Jade's Persona is Jetsam, his Arcana is the Wheel Of Fortune and his weapon is a spear 

Joins during the Azul arc

The team weapons dealer. You give him money, he gets you upgraded artillery. Where and how does he get it? That is an excellent question.

Gets his eel features with his Vice Warden uniform.

Kalim’s Persona is the Sultan, his Arcana is the Star, and his weapon is a staff

Joins during the Jamil arc

Happy sunshine boy

His house becomes the meeting spot because it's super big and Kalim’s room is very soundproof 

Rook’s Persona is the Huntsman, his Arcana is undetermined, and his weapon is a bow and arrows

Joins during the Vil arc, but is involved with the Shadow World prior to that

This fucking guy has been following the squad into the Shadow World since Trey joined the team in the FIRST ARC

Dude is fascinated by the whole “entering people’s hearts” thing and even more fascinated the Vice Wardens

Jade is the first to realize that they’re being watched and the others are FLOORED when they find out how long he’s been following them

The only reason he’s not dead yet is because he’s a hardcore survivalist and always brings his bow and arrows with him

Ortho’s Persona is Hercules, his Arcana is undetermined, and he is the Navigator

Joins during the Idia arc, but is involved with the Shadow World prior to that

Works for STYX, an organization trying to study the blot and the deaths linked to it

Goes into the Shadow World to do field research by studying the Shadow selves and the Vice Wardens

His job is to buff, heal, analyze the opponent, and occasionally contribute in All-Out Attacks.

Being a robot, he doesn't attend NRC, but he does sneak in to meet up with the others.

Lilia's Persona is the three good fairies, his Arcana is the World, and his weapon is a cleaver

One Yuu's first allies and mentor for Shadow stuff

Joins during the prologue

Poses as a high schooler and transfers to NRC to gain access to the areas in the school that blot accumulates

Gets his fae features with his Vice Warden uniform

(Spoilers for chapter 7, scroll until the next image)

______________________________________________________________

Lilia was a wildcard that used his Persona powers to protect Briar Valley against a diety, but the diety decided to play dirty and manipulated the kingdom of Dawn to start the war, thus limiting Lilia from his fighting capacity.

Lilia's Persona was unresponsive due to all the changes in behavior and the mourning over the lost lives, but years later, he gained his first Persona back, weaker, when he decided to raise Silver. So with time, his Persona could grow stronger and Lilia could realize that his time as the lone fighter is over and that he needs to train the new Persona users to team up together and succeed where he alone failed.

^ (credit to @lowkeyclueless5137 for the specifics of Lilia’s backstory)

______________________________________________________________

The Velvet Room takes the form of the Mirror Chamber 

But instead of the Dark Mirror it's Igor 

Yuu enters through a coffin in the ceremonial robes

Ace and Deuce are the Velvet Room attendants

Ace’s Arcana is Strength and Deuce’s is the Chariot

They work together to do fusions, where Ace has his playing cards and Deuce has the giant book

Sometimes they fight and cause a fusion fail, which I’m sure surprises no one

Ace can often be seen in the real world hanging out with the team or annoying people

That’s how he meets Yuu, and Trey later on

Deuce usually stays in the Velvet Room, but if he has Igor’s permission, he’ll go hang out with Yuu

Deuce has some… issues

Due to some bad experiences in the past, he’s nervous about going to the real world

Basically: Unfamiliarity with human customs/social cues + People that really suck = Pent up anger that he sometimes loses control of

Yuu tries to help. Ace does not.

That's all I have for now. Ideas and criticism are always welcome! :)

[kenny-the-ken]

Stoned to the Bone

Just before I start I wanted to write a little disclaimer, in this fic everyone is aged up, they are all 18 and this fic is not suitable for minors!! There are mentions of drugs, alcohol, smut, sexual content, swearing and a lot of innuendos. Also this is my first fic so please be nice ☺️

You sat in the dingy upstairs apartment that you lived in with your boyfriend Kenny. You two had been together from fourth grade and you couldn't imagine your life without your orange parka clad boyfriend with his cute fluffy blonde hair that you loved running your hands through. He'd been out for quite a while now trying to score you guys some MDMA for your house warming party. Everyone that was anyone at South Park High was invited.

Y/N: Kenny, where are you?! Xx

Kenny🧡: Omw now, plug took his sweet ass time. Pour me a drink for coming home, and make sure it's got an extra measure in it! Also, got an ounce of weed, can't wait to smoke up next to you tonight 😉 xx

Y/N: You really do know how to make a girl feel special, huh? I'll see you soon, be safe and remember, if those blue lights appear, never fear, just drop a gear and disappear xx

Kenny🧡: I'm right around the corner babe, don't worry, cops have never caught me this far, I doubt they will now xx

You knew better than to reply to him, he was a quick walker and knew plenty of shortcuts. You both still lived in the shittier part of town, the rent was cheap enough for you both to afford, even if you did both work awful, barely meeting minimum wage jobs.

You heard the door clicking open and then shut, the noise of someone walking up the stairs, and there he was, hood up, a shit eating grin on his face. "Who's ready to get fucked up~?" He sang through the house, before entering the living room and spotting you standing in the adjoining kitchen, pouring him a large glass of vodka and coke, although it may as well have just been vodka. You had one poured for yourself and two shots of tequila lined up for both of you. "Tell me Ken, in all the years we've known each other, when am I not ready to get fucked up?" You answered him, handing him his drink as he sauntered into the kitchen, taking the glass from you and giving you a quick kiss on the head.

"He said this MDMA was top notch shit, straight from Europe! The ounce is Super Silver Haze, so we are set for at least a few days darling." Kenny said, his voice muffled due to his hood still covering most of his face. You smiled at him, even when only his blue eyes were visible, he was the most beautiful guy you'd ever laid eyes on, you swore you got lost in his eyes back in fourth grade and you still haven't escaped the maze yet, not that you were complaining.

"Take your coat off, babe, we can afford heating now!" You said, taking a sip from your own glass and shuddering, vodka did not taste good, but it got you fucked up and that's all that mattered. "If you want me to strip for you babe, you gotta return the favour." Kenny laughed out, unzipping his parka and taking his gloves off. Out of his pocket he pulled a baggy, a rock of pure MDMA sitting in it as he placed it on the kitchen counter. From his larger inside pocket he pulled out the aforementioned ounce of cannabis and sat it down beside the baggy. "Fancy a quick bump to start us off?" He asked, taking out his wallet and a bank card from it, starting to crush the rock inside of the baggy. "Is that even a question?" You winked towards him, coming closer to watch his skilful hands at work. You guys have done anything and everything together, you trip sat each other and knew how most drugs affected you, because let's face it, you guys have tried most. When the rock was finally a fine, yellowish looking powder you could feel the excitement building within you, and Kenny noticed. "Babe, I know you're excited but I'm taking the first hit, if I die from it you know I'll be back tomorrow morning anyway, you on the other hand, that doesn't happen to." He stated, and you knew it was true. He always took the first hit of anything you guys scored, he just wanted you to be safe. You smiled warmly at him. "I love you." You muttered softly, giving him a small kiss on the lips. "I love you too, sugar tits." He smirked before pulling out the key to your shared apartment and placing it into the baggy. He scooped up and balanced a small amount of the powder upon it and placed it to his nose, covering his other nostril and snorting the substance in one go. He then placed the key on the counter, sniffing a few times and then made a face like he was going to be to be sick. "Kenny, what's wrong?!" You asked, hurriedly holding his face as you stared at him. "I'm fine, just that drip, man! That is nasty!" He said, gagging slightly. And he wasn't wrong, you took a quick bump yourself and found that you were soon after gulping down your vodka and coke to try and rid the taste that was emanating at the back of your throat. You noticed Kenny was staring at your tits in the low cut top you wore, your skinny black jeans hugging your figure, and boy could he not tear his eyes away from you. "Like what you see?" You teased, a small smirk on his face. "Y/N, my eyes have been glued to you since fourth grade, of course I like what I see." He joked back, and you knew it was true. You were the only two impoverished kids in school, you basically grew up together. You remembered when Kenny used to steal pads and tampons from the local pharmacy for you when you got your period, and how you used to swipe whatever food you could get away with from the grocery store, you both raised each other. You realised you were fading in and out of reality, the drug starting to take effect. Kenny's pupils were large and round, and you soon found yourself cupping his face with both hands and gazing dreamily into his eyes, a small blush dusting his cheeks. "What's wrong, babe? Love buzz getting to you already?" Kenny flirted, wrapping his long, slender arms around your waist, picking you up and setting your ass on the cold countertop. "I don't know babe, I always feel this in love with you so it's hard to tell." You said, your pupils large too. You felt Kenny bring his lips to yours, biting your bottom lip cheekily, and as a small gasped escaped from you, he quickly slid his tongue into your mouth, a small moan coming from both of you as you both passionately made out. Time stood still till you heard a car pulling up, parking and all four doors slamming.

A knock could be heard at the door and you both already knew it was your friends. You could already hear Eric and Kyle bickering outside and Stan sighing. "Hey, Kenny! Get your dick in your pants and open the door!" Stan shouted through the letterbox as you both reluctantly parted your lips from one another. "You better believe I'm taking that ass straight away as soon as they're either gone, or we're in bed!" Kenny said, a small huff of annoyance at having to wait, and at having to try and conceal his already pre cum leaking cock in his tight jeans. He ran downstairs, opening the door and bowing playfully. "Welcome to my Playboy mansion." He joked, stepping aside to let the guys in.

Your apartment was nothing special, it was still decorated how the previous tenants had it, pale grey walls in the living room with black and silver wallpaper, the kitchen was red with white tiles going round it, and the bathroom was blue with a shower in the corner. Your bedroom was the only place you both could afford to decorate yet, and that was for yours and Kenny's eyes only!

"Sweet apartment guys!" Kyle said, waving to you as you added four more shot glasses to the worktop, filling them with tequila and bringing them out, along with the two you and Kenny had forgotten about. "Here's to best friends, amazing relationships, freedom and getting fucked up guys!" You exclaimed as everyone took a shot glass. "Cheers!" You all said in unison, throwing your heads back to take the shots. You all grimaced at the potent taste and the burning sensation in your throats.

Time felt like an enigma, more people arrived, Wendy, Bebe, Clyde, Craig, Tweak, Butters and more that you weren't even aware were coming. Kenny was in the kitchen chatting with Kyle and Stan about some video game while rolling a blunt. You wandered in, looking at your boyfriend with a smile. He winked at you and patted the countertop, signalling for you to sit beside him. You hopped up as Kyle and Stan took a seat at the table. You could hear Eric laughing at some poor, unfortunate girl in the living room, and you gave your boyfriend that knowing look, like a secret language between you both. He handed the half rolled blunt to you. "You're so good with your hands, think you could finish rolling that for me, baby while I rack us a line each?" He cooed, biting down on his lower lip just to tease you. "You read my mind." You said softly. Kenny hopped off the counter and to the opposite side of the kitchen, his back to you three. "What are you guys on this time?" Stan asked, he didn't particularly like weed, his dad had ruined that for him long ago, but it didn't mean he wasn't fascinated in trying other drugs. Kyle wasn't too sure how to feel, it goes completely against his religion to do any of this, but you're only young once, right? "Purest MDMA in South Park!" Kenny exclaimed. "Straight from Europe, you guys want some?" He asked, turned to face you three, bank card in hand, and two skinny, long lines already racked up for you both. "You know what, I'll do it if you do it, Kyle!" Stan declared, feeling butterflies in his stomach, his nerves always got the better of him. "Yeah, fuck it! It's been a shit week and it's Saturday! Let's make the end of this week amazing!" He said, both boys high giving each other, then turning to fist bump Kenny. He racked two more lines for Stan and Kyle and turned once again to face you all, making deep eye contact with you as you stick your tongue out to like the skin you were rolling the blunt in, sending him a flirty wink, which he gladly smirked back at. "Damn girl, you really gonna tease me like that?" He flirted back, a smile on his face.

Rolling up a bank note he placed it up his nose, snorting the line he prepared for himself. He sniffed again a few times after, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand. "Who's next?" He said, holding up the bank note. "I'll go!" Said Kyle, doing the same thing Kenny did and then coughing slightly afterwards. "It tastes like shit, man!" He shouted, downing whatever drink he had in front of him. "Yeah dude, that's the drip!" You said, laughing slightly before taking the bank note yourself and sniffing the powder in one swift motion. You passed the note to Stan who nervously did the same and reacted almost the same as Kyle. "Just stay away from Wendy for a few minutes dude, the drip makes you wanna throw up and you do that when you're completely sober around her!" Kenny said, laughing slightly before picking you up and spinning your round, his hands wrapped tightly around your waist, your thighs coming up to his sides. "You look so fucking hot right now." He said, kissing you gently before pulling away to stare at you once more. Your cheeks were flushed, a mixture of what Kenny had just said and done and the drugs and alcohol you had taken. He carried you into the living room, Stan and Kyle quickly following, Kenny placed you on the sofa and quickly connected to the speaker, handing you a lighter to spark up your blunt with, you inhaled the thick smoke and exhaled it with a long sigh, you hadn't felt this amazing since the last time you two did MDMA together, and that was one messy night.

The four of you sat and chatted, taking a few bumps here and there while you all smoked the blunt in rotation. It was as if the rest of the party didn't matter. Other people were taking their own drugs, people on ketamine, ecstacy, and god knows what else, it was South Park after all. And they knew you and Kenny didn't give a fuck.

Before you knew it you had finished the entire baggy between the four of you, the party heating up as the place was packed with people. Outside was dark and the street lamps shone brightly. "Hey guys, a new nightclub has opened down the street, it's supposed to be amazing! Wanna go?" Eric shouted loudly over the music. Everyone stared at him, mulling the words over in their fucked up minds. "Fuck yeah! Why not?!" Kenny shouted, turning off the music. "I could dance, let's go guys!"

The walk felt like a blur, you don't even remember how you got there, just how soft Kenny's hand felt in yours as you walked together down the street. The nightclub luckily let you all in without ID, and surprisingly didn't think any of you were on anything. When inside the place was huge, hundreds of people on the dance floor, flashing lights and loud techno music filled the air, this night was turning out to be one to remember. Stan was finally talking to Wendy with enough confidence in his fucked up, MDMA filled brain without throwing up on her, result! Kyle was chatting to some random girl in the corner of the dance floor when you and Kenny heard one of your favourite songs come on, you knew it was a sign from the gods above as the song blasted loudly through the speakers. He took your hand in his, his fluffy blonde hair reflecting the flashing lights in the club, you swore he looked like angel sent from above as he gripped your waist tightly almost scared to lose you as you both started dancing, first giggling and playing around and soon enough grinding against each other needing some sort of contact through the buzz you guys were feeling. Fuck, this felt unreal.

"Kenny." You moaned loudly enough for him to hear. "You like that baby?" He asked, pushing his hard cock against you a bit harder. "And what if I do this?" He whispered into your ear, a long stripe licking up the front of your throat, before his mouth attached to the side of your neck, licking, biting and sucking on the skin that was sensitive when sober, so this felt like you could touch the stars. The song had changed and you still both remained on the dance floor, practically eye fucking each other, hands roaming everywhere, anywhere, just to get some sort of friction.

"Fancy a bump of coke?" He whispered to you, a confused look on your face. "You really think I'd leave us with nothing?" He laughed, as you both, hand in hand made your way to the smoking area, standing at one of the tables. "I'll get us drinks, you crush that shit and I'll be back asap!" He said, pointing to the bar in the smoking area, you just nodded obediently.

You got to work, crushing it up in the baggy and smiling to yourself. You heard Eric shouting behind you with Kyle, Wendy, Stan and Butters. They approached your table, watching you carefully make two thick lines on the table as Kenny came back, two double vodkas in hand, no mixers. "Where'd you all come from?" He joked, handing you your drink and rolling up one of the notes he had received back as change. He snorted it quickly so you all wouldn't get caught and thrown out, you did as he did and giggled slightly after taking it, both of you downing your drinks. "How the fuck are you both not dead?!" Butters shouted loudly, Tweak and Clyde finding your group in the crowd, and all of you chatting among each other. Kenny handed you a cigarette and put one between his lips, lighting it and passing you the lighter, as you lit it you felt an arm snake around your shoulders, pulling you close to his body. You looked up at your boyfriend, giggling to yourself. He whispered something to Stan and Kyle as they all nodded, the music too loud for you to know what they were talking about. They began laughing as Eric too joined in the conversation. "I'm getting some more drinks!" You shouted loudly, as you walked over to the bar, everything spinning round you, boy you loved this feeling, and knowing Kenny felt the same was even better.

You turned around to see Kenny standing a few meters from you, staring at you as you came back to hand him a drink, a soft smile on his face as he stared at you. Fuck, he was the luckiest guy in this club, in South Park, fuck it, in the world to be able to call you his. You both understood each other like no one else did, not even your parents, you guys had been through everything together, and that's why he was going to make sure you were his girl for life. He had a ring back in your apartment and wasn't sure when to propose, but he was going to, just not while you were both fucked up. "I told the guys after this drink that we're gonna go home, my cock and I have some unfinished business to attend to." He said, winking and stealing a kiss from you. "Can we all dance before we go?" You pleaded, and Kenny just simply nodded. "Whatever you'd like, Princess." He said. He knew clubs like this would never end well with a pretty girl on your hip, some other douche always had to press their boundaries, and you were his girl, no one else's.

Your large group headed back to the dance floor, as a throwback banger came on. The first song you guys listened to together at the very first party you had all ever been to, it was like a movie, you all sang (shouted) along, badly. "DON'T YOU WORRY CHILD, SEE HEAVEN'S GOT A PLAN FOR YOU!" You all screaming in unison, dancing like lunatics when the beat dropped. You truly did have the best group of friends that anyone could ask for, and to top it off, the best partner in the entire universe, he little would and has died for you, just to make sure you were safe.

Your eyes became hyper fixated on your partners face as you sang to each other, tears of joy both steaming down your faces. Kenny couldn't believe how beautiful you looked as he turned to give the guys a knowing look, he let go of the grip he had on you and got on one knee, giggling to himself, not even having the ring on his possession. "WILL YOU MARRY ME, Y/N AND MAKE ME THE HAPPIEST GUY IN THE WORLD?!" He shouted and you swore your heart skipped a beat, the guy you got married to in the playground all those years ago now finally asking you for your hand in marriage, together, both of you, together, forever. "OF COURSE I WILL!" You shouted back, as he picked you up, spinning your round with him on the dance floor, all of your friends chanting and cheering loudly.

"Now if you'll all excuse us, I'm gonna go home and fuck my fiancée!" Kenny exclaimed loudly. Everyone erupted into laughter as you both made your way out of the club, not even making it home. Kenny had pinned you against a wall in a dark alleyway, two streets away from the club, one hand gripping your thigh up to his side, the other massaging your boob, his cock already buried deep within you, your moans filled the air, it wasn't long before you were both reaching orgasm together, Kenny chanted your name like a mantra, and you screamed his name loudly, your thighs pulling him as deep inside you as he could manage, his cum painting your insides, both equally as breathless as each other.

"How 'bout we go home, we smoke a fat blunt each, order some takeout and cuddle the rest of the night?" Kenny suggested, a small smile on his lips as he watched you pulling your jeans up, still breathless and legs weak. "That sounds fucking perfect." You replied, giving him a passionate kiss before taking his hand in yours. "You better be careful kissing me like that, baby, you know how high my sex drive is, I'll end up fucking you the rest of the night." He said, a smirk on his face, throwing you a quick wink. "Oh, I'm aware Mr McCormick." You flirted back. "Won't be long till you're Mrs McCormick." He replied, a large and genuine smile on his face, you could see his little tooth gap and your heart soared. You get to spend eternity with the only guy you've ever loved, and if that isn't perfection, I don't know what is.

sorry it was so long!! I really hope you enjoyed it!! I'm gonna try writing some more, so please let me know what you think and if you have any requests, hit me up!!

[gothoffspring]

Previously on Living a Nightmare;

Riley received an AMAZING chance card and jumped all the way to the top of the comedy career! He quickly became an overnight sensation and is now a one star celebrity! This is definitely Riley's biggest accomplishment and it means we'll have to spend a lot less time at work as the legacy progresses which I'm happy about!

Immediately after being promoted, Riley was flown out to Del Sol Valley to film his very FIRST comedy special titled "Hot and Heavy". It was a resounding success! "Hot and Heavy" was one of the most popular comedy albums of the entire year, and Riley has the plaques and posters to prove it. His life has skyrocketed in a very short amount of time. He's got a beautiful girlfriend, a job that he loves and grand ideas for what the future holds for him.

Monica decided she was ready for more and autonomously asked Riley if she could move in! They're both so infatuated with each other and don't want to waste any more time not being together.

Under the cut you can find some a lot more info on the gameplay aspect of the legacy and my future plans for the Burns family!

First of all, I had to extend the short lifespans just a LITTLE bit. Short is TOO short y'all, I can't. I still made them shorter than the normal lifespan. Lifespans are as follows:

Baby: 2 days

Infant: 6 days

Toddler: 8 days

Child: 11 days

Teen: 14 days

Young Adult: 18 days

Adult: 25 days

Elder: 8 days

We'll play out this first generation with these lifespans and see how it goes, I may have to adjust it a bit but I'm not sure. I really did not realize how difficult this challenge was going to be, because I get attached to my gameplay sims very fast. They're all gonna DIE so quickly, pray for me. I'm honestly excited to see how much progress we can make in a short amount of time though.

As far as future plans, I'm completely over Strangerville and it's annoying NPC's. I did not beat the Strangerville story and I was using a mod to toggle the story on and off, and sometimes I would forget to toggle it and it's just so frustrating. there should ABSOLUTELY be an option in the gameplay settings to turn the story off.

We are officially going to be moving to Chestnut Ridge! I figured it would be fun to try out some horse ranch gameplay and own a huge ranch. We're going to be taking out a loan in order to afford it, and Riley is going to keep working for a while as a top comedian before he retires and dedicates all of his time to the ranch. We're going to be attempting to survive by selling nectar, breeding horses/doing competitions, and farming! Monica may also pick up crocheting or cross stitching as a side hobby. Maybe canning?! I haven't done any canning at all yet! I know it makes little to no sense for them to be moving to a huge ranch from a very rundown home, but since Riley shot to stardom so fast I like to think he realized the first thing he wanted was a nicer home.

I think it fits Riley PERFECTLY. He's always wanted to make his own nectar and being a country boy at heart, Chestnut Ridge won't feel too far from home. Monica is also an animal enthusiast and VERY excited to get some animals, so it's going to be great for both of them. They've been doing some house hunting lately and they've almost found the perfect place. I've already moved some of their friends to Chestnut Ridge and given all of the original Chestnut Ridge townies little makeovers! I also added a couple more sims to the world just to fill it up a bit more. Riley and Monica will be making TONS of friends I'm sure. There's a bunch of couples ready to have babies at the same time as them which I'm excited about, gotta make sure our kids have friends!

I think that's it for now, but I did just want to say thank you so much to anyone who shows any kind of interest in following along with my gameplay. I know I've been widlly inconsistent and have rarely been posting gameplay, but I truly believe that's about to change as I dive back into this legacy and get things rolling again!

[thessalian]

Thess vs The Shooting

About recent news: I'm not going to enjoy the next few news cycles very much? But while this might be problematic short term, I don't think it's going to be the disaster people say it is. At least, not if everyone follows the advice that has been given all along - don't decide your vote doesn't matter, don't decide that third-party protest votes will be your best course of action, just vote and vote blue.

Here's why:

Look, at this point, everyone that's going to vote for Trump is going to vote for Trump no matter what - there is no getting them off that particular Titanic. Marginals? I'm sorry, but Trump does not appeal to marginals. Trump appeals to ... well, MAGA types, and there are a few too many of those. Getting shot at does not make one a viable political candidate, no matter how many people talk conspiracy.

And let's face it - Trump is not going to pull the "Biden conspired to have me killed" card. Not because he doesn't want to (and no one's going to gainsay it because the man who allegedly fired the shots is apparently dead), but because it would probably have that stupid decision the Supreme Court made about what kinds of immunity a president has being relevant sooner than Trump wants it to be. He wants to be able to pick up that tactical nuke that the Supreme Court dropped outside the White House. If anything, if he gets the presidency, he's going to pick it up and use it to round up political enemies "for his own protection" because "he got shot at once, you know". But that entirely relies on his being elected. Which, because of the above, can be stopped by the simple method of a bunch of people actually getting out and voting blue in November.

Plus ... seriously, this is going to eat a couple of news cycles and die no matter how hard Trump tries to capitalise on this. He's currently yelling that America must "stand united" when he's the one who went to such lengths to deepen the divides in the first place, but at the end of the day, it's a piece of news, and most of the news will move on. The ... I don't remember what the American equivalent of GB News is (the one that's worse than Fox), but that one'll run conspiracy theories for as long as it's allowed, and it'll be all over Truth Social and probably Twitter, but news cycles are way different than they were when I was a kid. They blow up fast and blow over faster, and this probably won't be any different.

Basically, I'm not going to panic. I'll keep a half an eye on it, but at the end of the day, news is theatre at this point. It's "what makes good TV" or whatever. It's put together by people who believe (sometimes rightly) that the populace has the collective attention span of concussed goldfish and about as much memory capacity. There's a lot we don't know, and news outlets will spend a fair bit of time analysing what we do know (and why we aren't able to know more, and I'm looking at the ones who apparently killed the alleged shooter, because now we can't ask that individual the kinds of questions that would indicate whether it was politically motivated or it was just like that guy who shot at Reagan to impress Jodie Foster). But after they've wrung out the last bits of information, it's going to fade away no matter what Trump does to keep it alive. And he's basically painted himself into a corner there because he's got that whole "toxic masculinity" thing going on and any attempts to drag out how brave he was in the wake of being shot at after the fact? They're going to look like whining.

But it's going to be a fairly gross week in the news while this gets processed, I'll give you that. I just can't afford to panic until the world proves me wrong about how shit like the news works.

Anyway, life goes on. (I admit to some very uncharitable thoughts about that whole situation in the immediate, though. I generally find it distasteful to wish death on anyone, but I do admit to being uncharitable enough as a person to have a few exceptions, if you see what I mean. But I'm not going to harp on about it at the end of the day because it doesn't help.)

[memekais]

daredevil sentence starters. s1ep7: stick. feel free to change pronouns as needed!

you have three limbs left. and other appendages no man wants to lose.

please tell me i don't detect a hint of admiration for that terrorist.

come on, you telling me this dickhead blowing up our backyard doesn't piss you off?

i wanna make sure the right person pays for what happened.

admittedly, i am a work in progress.

the numbers are like tea leaves. nobody reads them like i can.

each man needs to stand for himself... or fall with the unworthy.

first thing you gotta understand is nobody feels sorry for you and nobody ever will. 'cause when it comes to being born lucky... you won the friggin' lottery.

you know what they call stuff like that? gifts. the special kind. the kind that very few people have. or deserve.

smart don't come out of books, kid. smart is making the right decision at the right time.

you gonna spend your life crying and rocking yourself to sleep at night? or are you gonna dig deep and find out what it takes to reshuffle those cards life dealt you?

whole world around you, [name], and it is friggin' huge. all you need are the guts to let it in.

big world... not all of it flowers and sunshine. and the only way guys like you and me can survive is to grab it by the throat and never let it go.

my experience... there are no heroes, no villains. just people with different agendas.

anything happens to you... it's gonna be on me, and, uh... i don't want to be responsible for that. i can't.

you got a warped perspective on the whole good/bad thing, you know that?

this is my life and i made something of it, without you. that's the part that really pisses you off, isn't it?

i'm proud of you, i really am. the things you've done, what you've made of yourself, but... this is... surrounding yourself with soft stuff isn't life, it's death.

cut 'em loose, for their sake. break their hearts if you have to, just do it quick. or they will suffer and you will die.

relationships are a luxury men like you and me can't afford.

i'm trying to teach you how to stay alive.

you've got heart, kid. but heart's not enough. you've got to control that rage.

anger is a spark, good. rage is a wildfire, out of control, therefore useless. just like you laying there.

the only thing you know for sure is they're gone now. but i'm here.

now, get up. time to stop taking a beating and start giving one.

i know a lot of shit. this beer, for example, sucks.

after all your talk about cutting friends loose, and... now you need one.

i don't need a friend, i need a soldier. committed. not some bleeding heart idealist hanging onto half measures.

kid, in war, people die. if it's not you, it's the guy next to you.

i swear i will not kill anybody. pussy.

never is a man more good looking than when he is in love.

the mind controls the body, the body controls our enemies, our enemies control jack shit by the time we're done with them.

i needed a soldier. you wanted a father.

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

girls sorry that almost everything i write bout m2 is either gloomy either cruel (or sometimes unrealistically happy) & u write like ahh tragedy

bc i dont know fr the last time i was happy ig were a brief periods in 2018 & 2021 that ended quickly and after that all these periods of energy & joy were through gritted teeth actually and yk i asked my friend do you think how we're feeling rn can be called depression n she answers fkin of course bc i cant even treat this as depression like to me it's just acceptance that yes every day you feel such an unbearble pain and agony but like. this is just the way life's turning out. genuinely not funny at all. i feel like everything around me slowly dies and ofc you can't help but wonder "when it'll be my turn?" not in a way you wanna die (tho this sometimes too) but like that this is something inevitable. i don't drink but i smoke and ik that it fucked up my health i've been smoking 3 yrs now and i sometimes wonder when the most awful consequenses will show up but i can't quit bc literally what else i can do. and your eyes hurt from witnessing this life my eyes water constantly bc life hurts so much. bc you don't have the chance to have a life you're literally just surviving and it's such a big achievement that you're simply alive & dont kys. before i had some hopes for the future but now i understand that it's better not to have any - bc this hope just hurts even more. it's not only bout the war & goverment etc but mundane simple life as well bc so much things are out of your control. and the ones that is under - god you have no strength. yes genuinely this isn't funny at all. i learn to enjoy simple things in this life. seeing my friend almost daily brings me so much joy. this is such a big happiness to me. and seeing my other friends or just ppl that are dear to me. it's a big thing. art is also the other thing that is left that makes this life bearable tho i know since the 2nd part of 2023 i started to work in the drawer again. i have no strength to do otherwise honestly. call this pathetic but genuinely you'll be so wrong for calling this pathetic. tho sometimes i do feel this. yk yesterday i saw some of my classmates and i see that they can afford some bigger things like travelling and the only thing i can afford is a metro card. and yes you feel pathetic for this. genuinely i do such a big work for going out from the shell and seeing not only my closest friend. bc this hurts and i can't blame mslf for this anymore. the things i despise mslf for is the bursts of inner agression but thank god for my meds and self-control so i show this less that i've could & sorry if my agression somehow shows i try my best genuinely. anyway bout life. yes witnessing this hurts bc you feel like you're already dead. you wanna smile faintly and laugh quietly at urslf. sometimes it feels like this frame from filth when he looks at the camera w a wicked smile and watering eyes and then hangs himself. yes this is the most exact depiction (sometimes it feels more like nina's look from one of the final scenes where she gives up on everything and returns to her sick mother. she has no choice. same thing for me). but just for the record i've never watched filth so this is just my personal interpretation of that scene. maybe thank god that it doesn't feel like that look from tennenbaum family where he looks in the mirror and says "i'm gonna kill mslf tomorrow". ik that i'll stay here as long as i'm supposed to. tho yesterday i felt that completely delulu thing (i perfectly understand that this is a delusion) that maybe if i'd kms it'd be easier for everyone bc i feel like a very heavy person rn. i can't talk about good things (well i can actually! i do talk about it. i sometimes stay positive and not neutral) and yk my grandfather killed himself. my grandma once said to me that she felt relieved after he did. i though the same bout mslf yesterday (i felt this pretty often after she said this to me, it was in 2021) bc i know i know that probly he and me are much alike alas. idk fr idk

[noa-de-cajou]

Mentioned characters apart from Leonova and Kalerich belong to @corneille-but-not-the-author @soupedepates @azeler @hel-phoenyx @thal-ent

______

When I finally get back on the ship’s deck, I'm all alone. My hands are sore, my hair is unkempt, my dress is wrinkled and the sweat on my forehead made my make-up run down a little. My entire body aches, yet I know I won't have much time for rest. The rest of the crew is still partying at the casino, and they ought to stay there.

“Welcome back. You sure took your time.”

As always, coming from Kalerich, it's a statement. Not a reprimand. He would never dare, and he better not, because I'm not in the mood. His eyes widen a little in surprise as he sees me.

“... You lost.”

Yes. I lost. Splendidly, in fact.

“You don’t have to rub it in.”

I knew the fairy was a distraction. If it weren’t for her, I surely would have won. For her, and Tyrfing Harkyrsen’s sheer luck. I suspect one of the others aided him. How, I don't know.

At least, I got to see his face distort when I mentioned how he never told anyone about what happened. Traitors always get their punishment, one way or another, and this one is particularly twisted. Accepting a bet to save his old friend but not even being able to look the current ones in the eyes, how very hypocrite.

My brother gets closer, attempts to fix my hair. I let him.

“Well, you still look like you had a good time somehow. Did you?”

A good time, huh.

I suppose I did.

That little unwinding with the fairy… Domhildr, did feel good. Maybe I was a little too rough, but well, I took all the necessary precautions and even accompanied her back to her ship. She did give a magnificent performance, during the game. It’s my fault for underestimating her.

It was so impressive I even promised her little crew I wouldn't harm her.

I promised.

Am I going soft?

No. I just can’t afford to die yet, is all.

And I would die, if I killed her.

“It was… fun.”

Fun. That's something I didn’t have in a long time.

Not just the sex, but the rest, too. It was fun. I had fun. Until I lost.

But what did I really lose?

Meili’s stone-cold face when I talked about his eye was delightful. Oli seems open to learning new spells. I had a good time with Domhildr. The game with Tyrfing was the best I’ve had in a while. The little show Valentina Salem offered with that knife was certainly admirable.

So what do I lose, except a trivial amount of money, and…

“What about Brynja?” Kalerich asks.

… Brynja. Of course. That was the deal, wasn’t it?

“Well. I’ll hold up my part of the deal. As soon as she wakes up, I'll let her know she's free to do as she pleases.”

Free to do as you please. Ha. That isn’t a sentence you hear a lot coming from a Delavriskov. None of us is truly free, after all, not even me.

No matter how this duel ends, Brynja might never come back on the ship. That's a shame. She was a good asset.

But I can't control love, now can I? If I could, it’d be much easier.

The card of the Great Snake, buried in my deck, seems to sneer at me.

“I’m going to get some shut-eye. You should too.”

I’ll escort Brynja tomorrow, and I bet Kaizarz Laangfisk will not be pleased to see me. So intent on protecting his little friends, on doing what’s right.

But what will be if not two monsters looking at each other?

“I’ll miss her. Brynja.”

I blink. Kalerich spoke slowly, his eyes scrutinizing my face, searching for a reaction.

“Will you?”

…

I don't reply.

Does it matter?

Will I miss her?

Maybe, for a while. But then I'll move on.

Missing something, somebody, isn’t that all I do, either way? What’s one more?

Isn't that the real curse of being on this boat? To miss?

“I’m tired, and I am going to be very busy tomorrow. So if you’ll let me get to bed, I'll appreciate it.”

Kalerich stares at me for a while, then shrugs.

“Sure. Remember that you can always talk to me, if you get sad.”

Sad?

Ridiculous. I don't get sad.

I close the door to my cabin, breathing slowly. This won't do. I need to get my magic under control.

You know what you are.

You know what you lost.

Look at you, struggling to get it back.

Look at them, how they have it all. You could have had all of this.

But you're too far gone.

Ignore the whispers. Ignore them. They’ll go away. You're the one in control.

Jealous, Leonova ?

Going soft, Leonova?

Something shatters against the wall. Some glass trinket I bought and just destroyed. They are no different.

Calm. Down.

You’re in control.

You don’t lose. You never lose.

Stay focused, Leonova.

Work won't finish itself.

Miss. Miss. Miss.

They are everything you missed.

[bluntforcespatter]

ranting, long, mentions of ableism

my apartment should be 700 a month given that it's a shithole

like i pay 1400 a month and this place has holes to the outside. it's an apartment complex and ours is just shit for some reason. we have multiple bug problems because of the holes. one of the walls isn't sealed so that room is perpetually cold and full of bugs. you can't use it as storage due to the aforementioned bugs. there was a hole to the outside in the ceiling when we moved in. the walls aren't installed even remotely properly. i can't even use my indoor wheelchair here so most days i am in bed. all day.

and accessible apartments go for 3k. you pay more for accessibility. even if i could work and could afford that somehow, working would deteriorate my health (as it already has, hence the prescribed wheelchair!) and then like. how long would it be until i couldn't work and therefore couldn't afford the apartment anymore? not to mention a job to stock store shelves requires a bachelors. i don't have a credit co-signer so i can't take out student loans. i can't afford school because i can't get a minimum wage job that would pay my rent let alone my uni fees - staying on campus is more expensive than getting a room somewhere. but i am in a wheelchair. so i can't share a house with a bunch of students because none of them are accessible. i need help washing my hair. i can't move in with strangers and live "on my own" amongst them even if the whole place had ramps and chair lifts.

disability is only 1k. so you need to find a rental that is 800-900 max so you still have 100/200 for food and like. a internet/phone package.

but then. your grocery bill is literally 200 a month, bc where i live has a 300% - 600% inflation rate. if you're american and reading this, if you can buy kraft dinner for one dollar and twenty-four cents, that box is four dollars and ninety-nine cents where i am. a single box. just as a comparison. there is no such thing as cheap food. your 25c ramen is 1.25 for me. (i am not blaming you or saying your life isn't hard or w/e use reading comprehension skills here please.)

all the food banks are up several flights of stairs and are open for only 2 hours per place first come first serve. if you wait in the line outside and the two hours are up and they haven't gotten to you (bc that's how dire shit is here!) you go home. and you can't drive, so you can't even get there anyways! starve.

can't drive? no groceries. get them delivered! can't afford a credit card interest because your phone plane is 50, your internet is 50, and that leaves you with a hundred a month for groceries? can't afford delivery. whatever, you couldn't afford delivery, because it starts at an eighty dollar fee. starve.

i am lucky, fucking blessed, to have my roommate so i can afford to be alive but holy shit. i am dependent on her entirely. i cannot drive. she sits at the edge of the tub to wash my hair. she helps me up. she pushes my chair, because i can't self propel. she cooks. and honestly, being that dependent on someone else for reasons you can't control WILL make you suicidal. every day i consider that she would be better off without me - but the kicker is that she couldn't afford rent without me here. she couldn't afford internet and a phone plan and credit card interest and groceries and gas and car insurance and the occasional non-essential all together if i didn't pool with her - because she takes care of me, i take care of her too. (and she claims she likes to care for me, that it makes her less suicidal herself to have someone who needs her and someone to hang out with. but dear god i feel like the shittiest waste of life on the fucking planet.)

my government actively pushes medically assisted suicide onto disability recipients. they want us dead, and i'm not being hyperbolic. if you don't take medically assisted, then starve, or die out on the streets in the cold. our shelters will take you in for a max of three nights, some places it's only one. our food banks are upstairs with no elevators. our livable paying jobs require a post-secondary degree, because all other jobs are for teenagers, and we believe adults do High Paying Jobs That Require Education, so you cannot afford a place on a "teenager's first job" type job. but our schools are 4-10k a semester ON BURSARIES AND GRANTS AND SCHOLARSHIPS (of which i had EIGHT and it was still 5k!) and to afford JUST THE TUITION FEE, NOT HOUSING, NOT FOOD, NOT BILLS, on minimum wage, you'd have to work over three hundred hours a month, and going to uni (I WAS IN LAW SCHOOL which expects 600 hours a month!) is 400-500 hours a month, which in total is more hours than there ARE IN A MONTH. why are you so poor? why do you choose to be poor? being poor is a personal moral failing. you are a personal moral failing. you are a failure.

i am fucking sick to death of people who think people like me are a drain on the system or w/e. if you think like that you shouldn't be here. our system is broken. like deeply. when i became homeless and i was still in uni i asked them what they could do to get me from place to place so i could move in on campus and they told me to ask my parents. while i was homeless. what parents bro tf. their campus wasn't even wheelchair accessible i was studying from home because of that. you cannot dig a pit and put disabled people into it and then blame them for not being able to climb out. all people my age did was blame me for not going back to school. "why can't your mom and dad just pay for it? why don't you just work to pay for it?" why are you fucking stupid britney? mommy and daddy paid for your bachelor of arts so you could get a slightly-above min wage job and bitch, it's pay to play, so if you have no parents, no grandparents, if you're me, you're fucked. game over, just go die quietly so we don't have to look at you. kill yourselllllllf!

this counts for any of you, by the way. if you read this far, anyways. if you're systemically denied the opportunity to succeed because of your mental health or poverty or mental disability or whatever. it's not your fault. and i am angry too.

[insipid-drivel]

Hello from Gaza,

My name is Waleed, and I am writing this message as a plea for help. I am a husband, a father, and an engineer who always took pride in providing for my family, but today, I face the unbearable reality that I may not be able to protect them. 💔😞

The war in Gaza has turned our lives into a nightmare. Every day, the sounds of bombs and destruction shake our home. 💥 My child wake up terrified, and I can no longer promise them safety. 😢 We are running out of time, out of resources, and out of hope. 🕰️ Our only chance of survival is to leave, but we cannot do it alone.

I have created a GoFundMe campaign to raise the funds we need to escape. Every dollar can be the difference between life and death for my family. If you cannot donate, please share our story. 📢 Let the world know what we are going through—maybe someone out there can help us before it’s too late. 🙏💔

Vetted by @gazavetters , my number verified on the list is ( #107 )✅

With all my heart, thank you for your support,

Waleed & Family ❤️

https://gofund.me/e85369a1

boost

i'm sorry

i'm so sorry i'm such an american pigdog fuckfaced monster i can't help more people and i'm so fucking sorry

i'm disabled and on a fixed income i can't help more than i already have i don't have any more to give and i can't handle these asks anymore

please i can't help you please stop it's killing me with you and i only just learned i don't wanna die

i don't have enough to give i don't have enough money i don't have enough resources or sim cards i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i can't do enough i can't fix it i'm so sorry i can't fix it i can't fix it i can't fix it i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i didn't want him to win i want a ceasefire i want you guys to be safe i'm sof ucking sorry i'm soryy

sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry

please someone help them please i can't do it i'm broke and i can't afford my own food anymore i just can't help more palestinians there are too many i can't ICAN'T HELP PLEASE I DON'T HAVE MORE TO GIVE PLEASE I'D GIOVE YOU MY SKIN OFF MY BODY IF I COULD BUT I CAN'T PLEASE

I CAN'T SEND MORE MONEY I DON'T HAVE ANYMORE AND I'M DISABLED AND ON DISABILITY AND I DON'T HAVE MORE TO GIVE I DON'T HAVE MORE TO GIVE I DON'T HAVE MORE TO GIVE I CAN'T HELP I CAN'T HELP FUCK I CAN'T HELP PLEASE SOMEONE HELP

[thelogbookproject]

Starglow Release!

Suprise, it's a release! Introducing…

STARGLOW Virtual Reality Magical Girl Sparklepunk Glitchcore Action

Illuminated by LUMEN

🔗 after the cut! 🔁 (plz rb)

Starglow is a 104-page game, a power-fantasy action game using the LUMEN engine by @GilaRPGs, customized heavily to build an exciting magical girl action game with a huge emphasis on aesthetic. Buy it at lots of places, all directed through this page: https://www.logbook-project.com/starglow DrivethruRPG: https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/439755/Starglow Itch.io: https://thelogbookproject.itch.io/starglow My Website Store: https://logbook-project.com/store/starglow

Starglow Online is the world's first full-dive RPG. With its Magical Girl-genre stylings, using the imagery of modern playing card suits to paint a family-friendly, shiny, carefree veneer, it's a fun, nearly-endless place to explore! However, there's something else going on…

Since Starglow Online's release, there have been some glitches. This would be shrugged off, except: ~ No one is removing them, even as game-run events are ongoing ~ They all have a common theme: unlike the playing card theme of the core, the glitches are tarot-themed.

You are ordinary players, and can mostly do w/e fun Magical Girl (the genre, it's not a gender req, be super queer plz) things you want! However, you can't outrun the glitches forever. If you die, well, it's a video game! You respawn! But you come back different. You come back Glitched.

To quickly summarize LUMEN, you play a Class, with Powers, things you can do with Resources that you're guaranteed to perform. Think like an MMO action hotbar, but costing a thing, not a cooldown. When you die, one of your base Powers Glitches. The base Classes are Hearts, Spades, Diamonds, and Clubs. Their Powers start Glitching, and once all three Powers have Glitched, they shift fully into their Glitched Class, the Cups, Swords, Pentacles, and Wands (respectively). This comes with a change of Approaches too. Then, once the Class fully Glitches, it starts Glitching back into the Modern Suit. Through this, the small number of Classes actually changes a remarkable amount and adjusts its optimum playstyle -- even as the players are never mandated to change! Because ultimately these changes are to your in-game avatar, not the person playing them (or you, the player, playing them), the mechanical shift doesn't mandate a personality change against your will. However, the new Powers incentivize leaning in and roleplaying.

This is the core of the game. There's levels! The meta bit that it's a video game frees you from reality, from being bound, and from feeling too much fear. It leads you to be powerful and bold, and the actually changing world lets there still be enticing fictional stakes.

I'll probably talk more about it some other time. It's really fun, it looks gorgeous, it's inventive and clever, it's easy, it's like 27k words, and I'm really proud of it. It's affordable too: $7 for a PDF, $20 for a beautiful POD from Drivethru (as soon as it's approved).

And for just June, seriously, one month, back my Patreon at the $3+ level and get the game, along with a bunch of other stuff: the latest LotE2e draft, the whole of Magical/Girl (it'll be gone in a couple months!), and preview versions of yet more. https://www.patreon.com/thelogbookproject

[tobiasdrake]

Do you hear that? What's the sound? Oh, that's the sound of the BESTIE TRAIN COMING THROUGH, CHOO-CHOO!!!

A day in the life of Fubuki Clockford, let's goooooo!

Aww! The fortune teller says we're going to have good fortune. ^_^

Hey, don't laugh. This world features genetically-engineered homunculi and shinigami detectives who remotely kill people. Who says divination can't be real too?

I mean, she's probably trying to upsell a nearby casino but I'm going to remain optimistic. This will be our BEST. DAY. EVER.

Good for you, Fubuki! With your spotty memory and distractibility, you're exactly the kind of person that casinos prey on. Someone who could easily lose track of how much they can afford to spend or get swept up in the theatricism and not realize how they're being swindled.

Like... like off a building or something?

I dunno, let's see what the title card thinks.

That's a resounding yes! Come on, Fubuki! Gonna be sunshine and roses today!

Well. Probably not sunshine. In Kanai Ward. In fact, I think that would constitute a tremendously bad day, all things considered.

...protective rainclouds and roses!

Okay let's go see what "Someone fell from the sky" is about. Maybe they brought presents.

Aww, but I want to know your lucky number. It might be important later.

Also SQUEE I get to play as Fubuki. Y'all, I have been wanting to dump Yuma and go play as Fubuki since chapter 3.

...okay, chapter 2. As soon as Yakou was like, "She has an ability that will let her evade Peacekeepers with no trouble," I wanted to forget whatever shenanigans Yuma's going to get up to and go with her instead.

IT'S NOT MY FAULT, FUBUKI'S GREAT. FUCK YOU.

Incidentally, the window sign reads "COFFEE EQUALS *ONE* HAPPY DAY" so I am thinking we should get some coffee. <.< Though that might just be me falling victim to marketing.

Oh shit. There he is. In the middle of the street. Feral Population +1.

He had to have fallen from a building, right?

Okay, thanks for that clarification. Anyone know which building?

I realize you may find this hard to believe, and maybe harder with each passing moment that we talk, but I am a trained professional.

Or we can go with that as our opener, sure. I figured we'd slowly whittle down their confidence in us over the course of conversation but Fubuki's a master at going from 100 to 0 in record time.

HOLY SHIT HE'S ALIVE

We don't know how long he'll be conscious. Ask him questions quickly and see if he can answer. Then if he passes out, we can turn back time and ask different questions, over and over until Fubuki passes out. Straight-up min/maxing this interrogation!

I mean. She isn't wrong. These buildings are several stories tall and he landed on his face. On cement. His skull should be chunky salsa right now.

Clearly, Fubuki's great fortune is keeping him alive.

Three? What about three? Three what? Three muggers? Three rungs on a ladder? Three-

IS THAT A FUCKING D6 NEXT TO THE BODY!?

Did this guy use his final breath to read off the value on his die?

Oh my god, we're going gambling, aren't we? This case is going to involve gambling. Oh fuck.

...

We should go find out what our lucky number is.

I. Don't. Think he can, bestie. It's okay. Your Lucky Day powers scored us a valuable piece of testimony, unassuming though it may seem. Could you cast a glance at that die on the ground? I want to confirm what value it's showing.

Guys, it's nothing short of a Lucky Day miracle that he lived this long. He doesn't need an ambulance at this point. He needs a coroner transport truck to move him into the Restricted Area.

We have our mission. We must solve the mystery of the number three. At this time, our suspect list includes:

1 - The fortune teller lady. She seemed interested in pushing a number on us, and three is a number. Seems suspicious, lady. 2 - The Count from Sesame Street. There may be more bodies lying around. ONE! TWO! THREE MURDERS, ah ha ha! 3 - Yomi Hellsmile. Because he sucks and should always be considered suspicious. 4 - Halara Nightmare.

Right now, I'm honing in on Yomi as my prime suspect. Because he's number three on the list. Three's a pretty suspicious number to be at, Yomi. What else do you know about threes?

Let's go! Maybe we can get a little more context for the three.

You know what, that's a much better idea. We'll call that Plan B.

Because we should try it B-FORE trying to hear his dying words more clearly! If Plan B fails, we resort to Plan A-lternative.

...okay but I still want to know our lucky number. We can spare some time, right?

Drat. But. The number. It might be three. That could be a clue.

Plan B was a good effort but we didn't hustle fast enough. That might be because I stopped to try and get our lucky number from the fortune teller lady. I'm sorry for that.

How's Plan A looking?

Rudimentary first aid says that in the event of a possible broken neck, jerking the body around is--

I can't even finish my joke because look at his face. He can't take his eyes off that fucking d6. I wonder if it's a three again?

Nope, this time came up two. That's interesting. It implies probabilistic differences between "runs" of the same time period. I'm getting flashbacks to Zero Time Dilemma.

Hm... Okay, let's try again and see if we can get there faster.

[nalyra-dreaming]

hello!! I just rewatched Daybreakers and now I can't stop thinking about what Louis would do if he had the chanto to get a cure from vampirism...

what debates would he have with himself? how would this affect his relationship with Lestat and the others?

(I'm throwing this at you for you to elaborate, I love you <3

Hey!

*hugs* 💕

Hmmmm, difficult. :) (Oh, yeah, Daybreakers, I remember!)

I think... it depends on which "Louis" we're talking about, and in which "phase".

Because Louis' journey over the books is as complicated one as Lestat's (and I'm quite sure it will be over the show as well), and... I do think his stance on a cure would change. And it depends heavily on what the cure entails, too.

So, for the sake of the argument let's assume it's "cure for vampirism aka Louis becoming mortal again", with no extra powers, no body switching necessary, no magic. Just the transformative properties of the Dark Gift gone.

The Louis after leaving NOLA, pre Claudia's death, still very much in the Rite of Passage might have taken it, I think. Book and show, though the show made clear that Louis knows Lestat didn't die then, so that complicates things.

But he suffers from what he is, and what he must do to survive. He does not like the price he has to pay. The Dark Gift didn't free him in the way Lestat promised, how could it, and the killing is of course something that tears at his soul.

If he would have been offered a cure, I think he would have taken it and tried to make Claudia take it, too. (That might have failed, but that is another discussion^^) I think he would have seen it as a second chance. Show Louis, with the knowledge of Lestat surviving, might even have gone back and tried to give it to Lestat... and, all things considered, I'm not 100% sure Lestat wouldn't have taken it then, either, in that situation. He tried to become mortal again in later books after all.

The Louis post Claudia's death... no. Unlikely. He was "dead" then, for a long while, and he went on because he could not not. I think he saw it as a form or punishment, mixed with vicious survivor's guilt, and the sheer trauma of Paris. Show Louis called Claudia his redemption, and ... I think a cure would have been seen as a redemption as well and as such... clashing with what happened to Claudia, if that makes sense.

Dubai Louis, later books Louis (TtotBT)... does not want the cure. He wants release. I think Louis is in a state of chronic depression then, likening his state to a purgatorial one in the books, from which not even becoming mortal would free them. (Which then culminates in the Merrick events.)

"This is purgatory we're in, you and I. All we can be is thankful that it isn't actually hell."

And then... after Merrick.... in the "resentment phase" I think he would have been tempted. Because he is not "able" to die then anymore, not by conventional means at least. And that in and by itself is a very daunting prospect of course, and the cure would have been another get-out-of-jail card he could have taken...

But I think Louis, deep, deep down... didn't want to die then anymore. He'd been there, done that, did not go into the light.

He stayed. And so, despite being tempted, and viciously so, and maybe even having gone to beg Lestat (or maybe even Armand) to come and argue with them to be mortal with him once more... I think he would not have taken it. But I can see them arguing about it, viciously. The temptation would have been there, but too much had happened then already.

And in the end... around the Prince Lestat era and Blood Communion?

No. Then, not anymore. He has made his peace then, has found his family, his place. Has found himself. He would not wish to lose all that.

So... it depends, I think. :)

Despite everything Louis likes the power and his life and the status it affords him, too. He just, for the longest time, does not like the price. And he needs to come to terms with the realities of it, because he... chose it.

He was not forced into it, and that weighs heavily on him, especially with the more sobering realizations of it not being the freedom he hoped for or was promised. And the realities of the relationships not being what he expected them to be, either.

Louis' choice of his state of being weighs into his choice of taking the cure... and in a way his conscience is too... pure, too clean for him to take it, if that makes sense. He will choose the suffering (until he has accepted), because he chose this life.

Saint Louis.

Or to quote a (bitingly rakish) Lestat here:

"But then he is so good at grieving! He wears woe as others wear velvet; sorrow flatters him like the light of candles; tears become him like jewels."

PS: I didn't delve too deep into "debates with himself" here, because... that's fanfic level of delving, too long for tumblr, imho :))) I'm tempted to write it all out though, so... maybe^^.