#and if she knew i learned chinese...........

[schnaf]

.

[gghostwriter]

i saw you opened your fluff requests so how about this: reid recieves an invitation to a high-school reunion back in Vegas but he doesn't want to go because of his bad childhood. but his best friend (who is completely in love with him) convinces him to go, and offers to be his fake girlfriend to hype him up and make him feel more comfortable. he agrees and ends up confessing his love on the same football field he was bullied on

please feel no pressure to write this, it's just an idea i thought was cute

Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader Trope: Friends to lovers; Fluff with a mix of pining wc: 2.1k A/N: Reader is not part of the BAU, but she just still work for the FBI. By far, this is my longest request written (it's a chapter length) and I don't know how it became so long but I hope you enjoy it still! Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated 💗 Main masterlist

Rewriting History. // Spencer Reid

It was the heavy scent of books and wood that welcomed you home. Street lights reflecting off the emerald green walls, bathing the apartment space a warm golden hue. There was peace and stillness, your roommate of two years, Spencer Reid, nowhere to be seen—a usual occurrence that came with his and your job too, being FBI agents under the BAU and CACU, respectively.

You sluggishly made your way to your bedroom, adjacent Spencer’s closed door. Flipping open the switch, your worn body collapsed on the plush vanity chair as thoughts about the darkness of your job slip away and get replaced with melancholy on your connection with the boy genius. It was a relationship nurtured by grueling times in the academy—a connection forged out of convenience at first before becoming this convoluted and intimate bond all because you ended up falling for him.

It wasn’t a conscious choice and Spencer didn’t make it any easier. He was a closed off castle complete with a moat and a secret password—painfully shy and awkward in nature. If it wasn’t for required partnership in physical classes, you doubted you’d get as close as you were now.

A beep brought you out of your musings.

And as if he knew you were thinking of him, it was a text message from Spencer informing you of his return home in a few minutes. 

With a sigh, you pushed yourself out of the chair and changed into a set of clothes—a faded Caltech tee, that you never returned, and a pair of black leggings

Padding across to the kitchen, you opened the refrigerator and silently thanked your past self for prepping dinner for two in advance. With how irregular both your schedules were and Spencer’s apparent lack of skill in cooking, it fell upon your shoulders to make sure he isn’t living off of cold pizzas and Chinese takeouts. 

As the second plate of food was heating up in the microwave, the chiming of keys softly echoed from outside the mahogany door.

“Hey Spencer,” you called out from the kitchen counter.

A series of rustles and a soft hey answered back.

You tilted your head to the side in contemplation, something was wrong and as he turned the corner, shoulders curving in on itself and brows furrowed, something must definitely be wrong. 

“Tough case?” You asked, bringing both plates to the rounded dinner table.

“Yeah—” Spencer shook his head. “Actually no, not really but I got an email from Las Vegas.”

Your spoonful of soup hung midair, immediately concerned with the email contents. “Is it your mom? Is she okay?’ 

Having visited Diana in numerous occasions with and without Spencer, you’ve learned to love that woman fiercely too. She was a breath of fresh air—blunt during her lucid days and smart during her academic lectures. 

“It’s from my high school, an invitation for the reunion.”

Ah. “And you’re not sure if you want to go?” 

He shrugged, chewing his slice of chicken before answering. “There’s really no one I want to reconnect with, you know. No happy memories really.” 

“That’s true,” you nodded along. 

During the first few nights moving in the apartment, Spencer had shared the lows he had to go through just to get to where he was now at such a young age—endlessly mocked for being a geek, no friend group or single confidant to watch his back, and the utter humiliation of being tied naked on a football post. You had an inkling that the genius had gone through bullying, it was a sad norm in all schools, especially in public, but hearing it first hand had brought home just how much of his closed off and shy personality was a product of his trials.

You tapped your fingers on the table. “I think you should go.” 

“What?” 

“Yeah, yeah. To show all those mean bullies where you are now,” your back straightening from the idea. “They’ll talk about you in passing anyway, whether you’re there or not so might as well be there to show them up and defend yourself plus—” you paused, taking a sip of water before barreling through. “—you’ve become quite handsome since then. Don’t you think?”

His hazel eyes widened in surprise, further adding to his appeal. Spencer was so innocent that he didn’t know the effect he had on women—first evidence was yourself and the second was Lila Archer. “Y-you think I’ve become handsome?”

With warmth spreading on your cheeks, you nodded. “You’ve always been handsome to me.”

Spencer started coughing, hand beating on his chest as the food threatened to go down the wrong tube.

Alarmed, you quickly stood up and started patting his back for assistance. How embarrassing was this—the first time you blatantly flirted with the man you formed intense attraction for ends up with him almost choking. Was this a sign maybe to not push your luck? You’ve done just about anything to nudge Spencer’s mind in acknowledging your feelings, from remembering all his little quirks (all were just so cute), actively listening to his tangents (all very informative and interesting), and even sometimes delivering a box of donuts to his team (all in the name of seeing his face brighten up) but none seemed to have worked. So, you opted to tell him in words and look what that did to him.

You gnawed on your lower lip. Maybe it was best to pull back, maybe it was best to throw in—

He cleared his throat before his hand reached yours situated on his shoulder. There was a slight tremor before it closed around your all of a sudden clammy palm. “I’ll go if you go with me.”

Filter off your brain. “As a fake girlfriend type of thing?”

You shut your eyes closed, promising to yourself to stop reading those unrealistic romance novels that Penelope lends you.

“If—if you want,” his voice shaky and soft as rustles could be heard in the background.

Opening your eyes, Spencer was now fully facing you. Eyes roaming your face and body—profiling you.

A small smile graced your lips. “Okay.”

———

The second thing your brain thought of was how oddly fitting that the reunion was held at the school gym, located beside the football field. The first thought being how Spencer looked devastatingly handsome in his suit and tie.

His attire wasn’t that different from his usual in the FBI but there was a hidden meaning behind his choices. The patterned brown blazer was a gift you had given to him for his first anniversary working at the FBI and his tie matched the color of your dress. 

It made you feel warm even though a shiver went down your spine as a sudden gust of wind passed by. 

Spencer slid closer towards you. “Do you want my coat?”

“I’m alright, thanks for asking Spence,” you looked up, smiling in reassurance. The fairy lights hung in rows emphasized how structured his face was. A high nose bridge, similar to his mother’s, and high cheekbones that made your fingers twitch in want to caress. He was stunning to look at—a view you feared you’d never get enough of.

“Spencer Reid!” A booming male voice shouted from across the gymnasium causing a few heads to swivel. Based on the other attendees reactions—giving them ample space as they passed and the stares tracking their every move, you knew who he was right away. A former bully.

“How are you?” he reached out his hand for a handshake. One that Spencer stared at before bringing his hand up to a wave, lips in a tight lipped smile.

“Hey Paul, nice to see you.”

“Is it?” He chuckled before turning his eyes on you. “I don’t believe we’ve met.”

You stated out your name, tone very similar when you’re on the field—cold and professional.

“Look at you, Spencer, having such a pretty girlfriend. Heard you work for the FBI now, is that how you two met?” 

A saccharine smile spread across your lips. Your boy genius had been stiff ever since Paul called out his name. Having have heard how Spencer once reacted to a case where the unsub was a high school victim, you knew where his mind was at the moment. Grappling with the hurt from the past and trying his best not to lash out from the scars it had left behind. “Yeah, we met at the Academy and just clicked. He was such a gentleman that I couldn’t say no when he asked me out for a date.”

“That’s good to hear. Listen, man, is it alright if I talk to you for a second? Alone?”

You brushed the back of your hand with his, bringing his attention to you. There was a slight furrow in between his brows and his stature was taut, like a stretched out bow that needs to release it’s arrow. This was one of the few times, you could tell, that Spencer was unsure what to do. There was no malice behind Paul’s request and although you weren’t a profiler yourself, the slight hunch on the former bully’s shoulder silently communicated his remorse. 

Spencer’s eyes trained on yours and as if he found the answer within the depths of your gaze, he slightly smiled, squeezing your hand in his before turning back and nodding to the interloper. 

“I’ll go get a refill,” you lifted your empty cup to excuse yourself.

In truth, you stood idly near the punch bowl and kept your eyes glued on the male duo. Paul was looking down, shuffling his feet, before taking a deep breath and looking straight at Spencer. He uttered a few words you couldn’t make of and in turn, Spencer’s body relaxed and he nods once. With an offer for a handshake, one that Spencer shook, Paul walked away as you made your way back to your partner’s side.

“Good talk?” you asked.

“He apologized,” Spencer muttered, eyes studying you before grasping your hand back to his. “No refill?”

You shrugged. “Didn’t feel like it anymore. Say Spence—” he titled his head as an answer. “Want to get out of here?”

He chuckled, eyes twinkling with relief. “Thought you’d never ask.”

———

The cicadas were singing their tune as you and Spencer stepped out to the football field. The grass lush in color and the faint smell of wet earth wafted around. Grateful that you opted to wear sensible flats rather than the high heels Penelope was bartering you to wear, you held Spencer’s hand tight as he started recollecting the worst bullying that happened in the same place many years ago.

“That—” he pointed at the goalpost on the far right. “—was where I was left tied up. I remember feeling worried that I would catch hypothermia as the rain kept coming and going that day and I remember feeling sad when I got home and my mother didn’t notice me missing.” 

Your voice caught in your throat.

He continued on. “They say people forget events as they grow older and I wished I had the luxury of that.”

“Because of your eidetic memory,” you sighed. It was a blessing and a curse to have. 

“But I was thinking, maybe I could rewrite it instead?”

There was a thick layer of hope behind his words causing you to turn, fully facing him this time.

“I—I’ve been keeping a secret from you for 24 months and 182 days and I don’t know if this would change our relationship or ruin it but you’re my person, my best friend—” he took a deep breath. “—and I’m in love with you.”

People say there are moments in your life that would upend everything as you know it and tilt everything to an axis, you never understood what they meant by that, up until this moment. The twinkling night stars suddenly appeared brighter, the temperature warmer, and the force that tethered you to Earth was no longer gravity, it was now Spencer Reid.

You smiled, eyesight blurring from tears. His trembling fingers reached out to wipe the droplets making its path down your cheeks.

“I’m in love with you too, Spencer Reid, since the beginning.” 

And as if the world needed more proof, he smiled—his bright, full teeth smile and you felt your heart halt before starting back up again. 

It was proof that he owned the beating organ in your chest and all the emotion that came with it. 

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[artists-ally]

Hello sweetheart 😘 I really really adore your writing so much ! So, I dare to send in an idea as well 🥰 maybe you're dating Harvey but he barely had time for you lately, so one time he wants to surprise you with dinner at his apartment and you enjoy your time together. Then you both end your evening with lovely passionate smut and lots of cuddles afterwards. In the morning he wakes up before you and takes time in admiring you, realizing how happy he is to have you ? Hope that's not too cheesy ❤️ thank you so much in advance!

{Warm} Reader x Harvey Specter

This has been sitting in my inbox for god knows how long. I thank you for your patience my dear. I love this idea so much, and this song Warm by SG Lewis is just perfect. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. P.S. nothing is EVER too cheesy for me to write <3

Word Count: 3,998

Warnings: Just some good ole fluff and smut, some very soft dom!Harvey.

Tagging: @rosedpetal @blacktreacle22

Summary: After a particularly brutal month in the office, you've noticed some changes. Harvey is just... not present. Rather than demanding his attention, you just simply float by, knowing eventually he'll return his negligence. And boy does he ever.

~~~~~

“Yn, you really just need to grow a set and tell Harvey he’s being a jackass,” Donna scolds through the phone.

I roll my eyes, “Donna, I told you before. I don’t mind. He’s focused on winning this case, and it quite literally is the life and death of this firm. So, while I appreciate your ‘words of affirmation’, I didn’t ask for them.”

“I know, I just hate to see you so neglected.”

“Oh please,” I pff, flipping my head to move a chunk of hair out of my eye. “Neglected is probably the last thing I am. I can entertain myself. I actually haven’t minded the space. Every once and a while it’s good to go back to the basics. I’ve finally learned how to take care of the plants, I can make a mean lasagna too. I’ve even gotten back into reading. For fun.”

“Sheesh, clearly something is wrong if you’ve been reading voluntarily.”

I snickered. “I don’t know, I saw a book recommendation on instagram and fell in love. Childhood penpals turned strangers, turned back to penpals and she found out he’s the world's biggest rock star and he’s been writing songs about her the entire time.”

“Sounds exactly like the fairytale mushy-gushy shit you love. How you found Harvey to fill those shoes I’ll never understand.”

“He’s just… I don’t know, exactly what I need? My life is perpetually disorganized and he’s too organized. We balance each other out. It just works, and I love our life. I love our dynamic, and I love him. Since he’s so busy, and I have the energy and mental space to, I don’t mind picking up the slack. Again, things will balance themselves back.”

Donna sighed, and I knew that flat line was on her lips. “I know, you’re always so insightful. Optimistic bitch.” I cackled a laugh. “But in all seriousness, Harvey needs you. You’re right, he is too organized. He needs you to unwind him. I know how he is, and he needs a kick in the ass every once in a while. So, if by the end of the week, he doesn’t come around a little, just push him. He’ll fold. Especially for you, and that ass of yours.”

A smile bloomed onto my face, the door of our apartment building coming into view. “Thanks Donna, I’ll let you know how tonight goes. Maybe I’ll stop by the office in the morning and bring the crew some coffee, a few bagels as well.”

“This is why you will always remain my favorite. Now go eat that Chinese food, you sexy son of a bitch.”

“How did you know I had Chinese food?” 

“Because I’m Donna.” Then the line went dead.

Psycho. My psycho, but still a psycho. 

I did indeed have a takeout bag hooked in my elbow filled with Chinese food. Sesame chicken and wonton soup for me, beef and broccoli with pork lo-mein for Harvey. I got a small order of pork fried rice and some scallion pancakes to share. I was about ten seconds away from crouching in an alley and eating myself into a coma. 

The city streets were just beginning to fill up with Friday night festivities. Those heading to lavish dinners or exotic clubs, dressed to the nines with pristine hair and outfits. I looked down at my beat up orthopedic sneakers that kept the never ending foot pain of being a museum tour guide at bay. Here I was, surrounded by the most eccentric and busy place on earth, with absolutely nothing to do.

And that felt amazing. 

I scurried up the steps to the apartment building, greeting our doorsman with a smile and a wave. He gave me one back, pulling open the big glass doors. The mild April chill vanished and the comfortable, still air caressed my cheeks. The elevator door chimed open, chimed closed, and ascended to the top. 

21… 22… 23… the floors climbed and climbed. What was I going to watch? The new season of Bridgerton was out, I could watch that. No, the next season can’t possibly be as good as Charlottes. Maybe a movie? Didn’t that second Dunne one come out? I’m not sure I understand the first one enough to comprehend the second. 

The ding sounds, and I step off, juggling my keys as I rattle off more ideas in my head. 

There's always The Big Bang Theory, maybe Two Broke Girls? Nah, I’ve seen those a thousand times. Maybe I should watch something new. No, nothing sounds interesting. I could try to read, but I don’t wanna risk spilling anything on my book. Once in third grade, I was eating a bowl of cereal in the morning, and I spilled the entire thing on my book. If You Give A Mouse A Cookie was never the same again. 

When the door opened, I toed off my sneakers, kicking them in the corner. I threw the keys in the bowl and hummed a song aimlessly. In the kitchen, I pried a plate out of the cabinet and began to spoon food onto my plate. I won’t tell Harvey, but I stole some of his lo-mein. 

“Yn,” a voice spoke. 

I spun so hard I knocked my hip into the kitchen island corner, a scream bubbling out. “Jesus fucking christ Harvey! You could warn me next time, fucking hell.” 

My heart thrashed in my chest, my eyes going a little wonky from adrenaline. I swallowed, bending at the waist to catch my breath.

“Sorry, my love,” he smiled, coming to raise me from my hunched over position. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“A simple text would’ve been lovely,” I sighed, rising to my full height. “What the hell are you doing…”

All words died on my tongue as I looked around. The table was decorated with a white cloth, candles skewed about. There were flowers in a vase on the counter, beside it a card with two small boxes. There was champagne chilling in a metal bucket of ice, a box of chocolate covered strawberries and cherries next to it. 

“Harvey, what’s all this for? Our anniversary isn’t for two months.”

He grinned, that smirk going right to my chest. “No, it’s not.”

“Then what's all… this?” I waved my hand around, noticing a few balloons blown up and taped to the archway. I somehow completely missed the rose petals lining the floor. 

“It’s because I love you,” Harvey grabbed my hips, pressing our fronts together. “You’ve been… dealing with me for weeks now. My absence, my constant mood swings and lashing out. And I know what you’re gonna say-”

“That I know you’ve been stressed and need some time to focus on the case?”

Harvey tilted his head, a flat expression on his lips. “Yes. That.” 

“It’s not a big deal, Harvey. I know how important work is to you, and I know that you’ve really needed to focus so the firm doesn’t crumble and-”

“But I need you to know that you are a thousand times more important than work,” he says, placing his palms on my cheeks. He kisses me softly, stealing the air from my lungs. “Then the firm,” another kiss.  “And anything that has to do with that hellscape. I love you, Yn. And I don’t know what I would do without your constant flexibility with my chaotic life. So this is a very small token of my appreciation. The first part, at least.”

I hummed against his lips, letting my arms lay across his shoulders. I kiss him deeply. “The first part?”

“Mhmm,” he nodded, hands falling down my back, a less than PG-13 flex of his hands on my ass. “First, I want you to open those little boxes. Then, we’re gonna eat and have some dessert.”

“I feel like there's more to this list,” I smile, making my way back to the counter to get our food. One second to the next, Harvey gripped my arm and pulled me back into his chest. I could feel his desire pressing into me. “Looks like I’m right.”

“You’re always right,” he whispered, breath tickling my ear. He kissed the side of my neck, leaving a little bite below my ear. “Go sit, I’ll get the food.”

A new thrill fueled my body, propelling my steps to the dining room. I sat, playing with the end of the table cloth as Harvey brough everything over. The champagne, the card, the boxes and the food. Before he made his way to his seat, his palm cupped my neck and he tilted my head back. His deep, lust filled eyes locked with mine before he kissed me again. 

“Open whichever you’d like, darling,” he sat opposite me, tucking the napkin across his lap. 

“Just because I did what anyone would for their love doesn’t mean you need to shower me with gifts, Harvey,” I said, giving him a pointed look. 

“And if I bought them just because I wanted to?” 

Point taken. I read the card, a picture of a polar bear wearing sunglasses on a beach with a coconut in its hand plastered on the front. 

Classy. It made me giggle nonetheless.

To my Yn,

Thank you. I’m sorry. I love you. Thank you for being here, even when I wasn’t. I’m sorry for my absence, I promise I’ll be more conscious of my time spent at the office. I love you, more than I ever thought I’d ever be able to love anything. You are everything I’ve always wanted, and everything I never knew I’d need. After this last month, I didn’t understand just how badly I craved you. Your smile, your laugh, your warmth. The taste of you in the morning, and those adorable snores at night. No matter how many times I do it, I’ll never get tired of kissing you. Never tire of taking your breath away. I’ll never get sick of you being the first thing I see when I wake up, and the last thing before I sleep. 

You are forever entwined in my soul, Yn. And I wouldn’t dare to imagine it otherwise. 

I love you. <3 Harvey

I looked up at him, tears lining my eyes. He just winked at me, fork scraping his plate as he shoved a mouthful in. 

“Fuck you for that,” I sniffled, brushing away the tears as I blinked. “That was so uncalled for, you didn’t need to do that to me. That’s so unfair.”

He smiled, “I know you love that shit. And before you ask, Donna didn’t come near me when I was writing that. It all came from up here.”

I laughed as he touched the side of his head. “Good to know all those years at Harvard Law taught you something other than corporate jargon.”

“Open the boxes, little devil,” he sipped his champagne, nudging the boxes towards me. 

Both were a dark blue velvet, unlabeled. They were closed with a silver ribbon. The first one I grabbed was about the size of a book, and something rattled inside. I undid the bow, lifting the lid. Inside was a Kindle. I gasped, pulling it out and looking it over. 

“Harvey,” I grinned, mouth falling open. “You did not.”

“But I did,” he smiled brightly. “Unlimited.”

I could jump his bones from across the table. “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

“Well, after you find out I got you a case, a Pop Socket, and one of those stands with the remote clicker so you don’t even have to hold it, you might love me a little more.” I squealed, pushing out of my chair as I crashed into him. We nearly tipped backwards. Harvey laughed, rubbing my sides as I latched onto him. “I knew you’d appreciate this. I know we haven’t been together much, but I remembered you showed me a video of some girl who had one.” “You remembered that?” A new set of tears choked my voice. 

“Of course I did. And I also remember you telling me that if I bought you another set of earrings you’d use them to pierce my ears, so that option went out the window.”

I swatted his chest, Harvey’s smile easy as he eased me off of him. “This is perfect, thank you so much.”

“Of course, my dear. Now open the next one.”

What could be better than a Kindle Unlimited? With a stand AND a remote to turn the pages for me. Harvey has no idea what he’s done, I’ll literally never get out of bed again. 

Practically ripping the box in half, I take off the lid and peer inside. 

I blink a few times, looking from him to the box. “My passport?”

“Yup.”

“I feel like there is something I’m not getting here.”

“There is.”

“Are you gonna tell me or make me guess?”

“I’m not that mean,” he rolled his eyes. 

“I mean you have been ignoring me for the past month,” I feigned being upset, letting out a little yelp when he threw a piece of broccoli at me. “You're literally four years old.”

“We’re going to China.”

Everything stopped moving. I dropped the box, my small, navy blue passport skittering across the floor. My ears buzzed, my fingers buzzed. “I- What?”

Harvey grinned. Fuck, I missed that grin. “We’re going to China. We won the case last night, and I am desperate for some time with you. You’ve always wanted to go, so why not now? I have everything set up. We’re gonna stay in the mountains, we’re gonna go hiking and see some shows. I also know you’ve wanted to-”

“We’re going to China?” I had to make sure I heard him right? I’ve been learning the language for years now, engrossed with their rich culture and history. The cuisine, the art, the music… everything. Had I been in a different timeline, I would’ve moved there. 

“Yes, my love. We’re going to China. Two weeks.”

“Two weeks?” My eyes nearly fell out of my skull. “I can’t take two weeks off of-”

“Yn,” he cut me off, knowing I was going to spiral into a never ending list of reasons of 'why this and why that'. “It’s all been taken care of. All you have to do is pack a bag and get you cute ass in my car on Sunday morning. Don’t worry about anything else.”

“But-But Harvey… what the FUCK? WE’RE GOING TO CHINA? Oh my god, I have to call Donna.”

“Can you call Donna tomorrow? I have other things I’d like to do before you go blabbering to her about how amazing and awesome I am for planning this.”

I eyed him suspiciously. “Donna planned this, didn’t she?"

“She did find the panda place. And the art festival. But everything else was my doing. You can applaud now.” Cocky, arrogant son of a bitch. My cocky, arrogant son of a bitch, but one nonetheless.

I looked at him, dumbfounded. He did all this for me, just because he had a crazy workload. I feel like it should be the opposite, me pampering him, congratulating him on his huge win. Not him fueling my book obsession and planning my dream trip. 

But it was yet another reason I loved him more and more every day. He just did these things, without prompting. Without need. He felt like he was neglecting me, leading to… all of this. 

We ate our dinner, chatting about anything other than the case. I asked about it, twice, and he completely side-stepped my attempt. I wanted to know, but if he didn’t want to talk, I wouldn’t push. I told him the plot of this terrible Mafia romance book I finished earlier in the week, and he listened to every grating, awful point I made about it. All with a dopey smile on his face. 

Harvey cleared the plates, setting them in the sink. He brought more champagne, the strawberries and the cherries. In a calm silence, we devoured them, eyes raking over each other. I risked a look below the table, seeing just exactly where he wanted the next phase of the night to go. 

“You looking at it makes it worse, you know,” Harvey leaned back in his chair, my legs propped in his lap. He stroked his hand up and down, fingers dipping into one of the holes in my jeans. 

“Good,” I smiled, a sinful intent in my eyes. 

He looked from my smile to my eyes and back down. With a curse, he threw my legs off his lap and pulled my chair close to his. Harvey enveloped his mouth with mine, the sweet taste of chocolate mixed with the sour berry and tarte champagne. Every flavor on his tongue became my own. 

I was in his lap the next second, legs folded against his thighs. Harvey kept me firmly planted. Steady. He wouldn’t dare let me fall. I got lost in him, suddenly aware just how long it had been since I truly had him. Truly tasted him. Truly craved him.

He stood, taking me with him. The familiar route to our bedroom whirled by. I landed on the bed with a soft bounce, tugging on the collar of his shirt until he laid on top of me.

“So demanding,” he whispered on my lips. I wrapped my legs around his hips to emphasize my need. “Fuck… I love it when you get like this.”

“You made me this way, Harvey,” I pleaded, eyes catching him. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t been able to give you what you deserve,” Harvey sighs. It’s not heavy, but it’s noticeable. “Let me take care of you, Yn.”

“I just need you to-”

“I know, my love. Let me worship you. Treat you how you deserve. You’ve been so patient with me, now let me return the favor.”

Well, I’d be stupid to deny him.

Delicately, he kissed down my torso, lifting my shirt over my head and throwing it for tomorrow's problem. He removed my socks, then my jeans. From ankle to knee, he kissed and bit my skin, making me squirm against the sheets.

Every nerve ending in my body was on fire, the tips of my fingers and toes pulsing with anticipation. With the last remaining pieces of my clothes gone, he spread my legs, kneeling to the ground. 

The sight of Harvey Specter on his knees between my thighs was… empowering. Not that he hasn’t tasted me with his tongue, I’ve just… always been on top. Never so… exposed.

A heady sigh left my lips, body going lax with the first pass of his tongue on me. I clenched my legs against his ears, muffling my whines. He pushed them against the mattress, eyes pinning me as he sank his teeth into the muscle of my thigh. 

“You know better than to hide those pretty moans from me, my love.” Yes, I do know better. “Scream my fucking name if you want.”

I just might. 

He made quick work of me, practiced movements easily sending me up and up and up. He’d slow back down, torture me with more bruising marks on my thighs while I writhed and begged for him to let me release. I arched up off the bed when he added his fingers.

I was so close, a month's worth of pent up desire threatening me all at once. My mind and body were on fire. I couldn’t hold off any longer. I chase that high, circling my hips against his face. His hands, firmly planted on my inner thighs, I shook, that month long ache finally subsiding before roaring back to life. 

When I thought he’d stop, he kept going. Around and around and around his tongue went. Teasing and sending an endless supply of pleasure through my body. 

“H-Harvey,” I gasped, my body up in flames over his never ending devotion.

“I’ll stop when I want to. Fuck Yn, you taste so sweet. Almost as sweet as hearing you beg for me to let you cum. Can you take one more?”

Again, I nodded, content to let him spend however long he wanted at my aching core. My second release came much sooner than the first. He didn’t bother teasing me, knowing it would ruin all his hard work if he stopped. With a few more sweeping passes, he licked me clean, sitting back on his heels to look at me. He wiped my cum off on the back of his hand, giving me a wicked grin.

“You are so fucking beautiful, all laid out for me to do as I please,” Harvey said, beginning to strip. 

“Please Harvey, have me. Any way that you like.”

He chuckled, kneeling over me. “I will, but like I said, I want tonight to be all about you.”

“Well I want you to fuck me.” I am not very good at being subtle. 

“How can I deny you when you ask so nicely,” he purred, closing our lips together, I parted my legs for him, desperate for the friction of his body on mine. His chest, his stomach, his hands lacing with mine. I needed all of him all over me. 

It didn’t take long for him to slip inside me, every inch of him stretching me in the most desirable way. I hummed as he stilled, his need clear in the way his arms shook to keep still. 

“Move, please please move,” I begged, threading my hand in his hair. With a reluctant drop of his head, he rolled his hips into mine, our bodies finally meeting in full. 

“I was trying to be gentle,” he reasoned. 

“Fuck gentle, I need you. I’ve missed you so much.”

“I know my love, I know.”

With each thrust into me, a new sensation bubbled inside me. My toes curled, my back bowed, my eyes fluttered shut. He quickened his pace, heavy breaths falling from his lips into mine. His air was mine. Every muttered curse and moan and praise went straight through me. He needed me as much as I needed him.

~~~~~

With my mind not fully awake, I lazily fling myself off my stomach and onto my back. My arm knocked into something hard, and I squinted against the morning sun. Oh, Harvey.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, crashing back down against the pillow. 

He chuckled, kissing the hand that accidentally hit him in the face. “It’s okay.”

“Are you going into the office?” I asked, still keeping my eyes closed. Man this bed is so comfy…

“No?” He said, a question in his tone. “Why would I?”

“Why else are you up so early?”

“I was just looking at you, my love. It’s been a while since I’ve just… looked at the love of my life. Taken the time to appreciate just how fucking stunning you are.”

My heart melted, a lovesick feeling welling up in my chest. I turned over, facing the handsome lawyer and grinned ear to ear. “I’m sure I look fabulous after last night.”

“You’ve never looked hotter. Lips swollen from mine, hair a mess from my hands… your body covered in my-”

“Okay,” I snatched his lips between my fingers, silencing his next words. “I did just wake up, at least let me shower before you destroy me again.”

“Only if I can quote on quote destroy you in the shower before I cook you breakfast and fuck you again on the counter.”

My eyes snapped open, meeting his blown out pupils. “You certainly have a vivid imagination for…” I looked over at the clock on the side of the bed. “... eight thirty-seven AM.”

“Wait till you find out I’ve been awake since six. With nothing to do but plot all the ways I could ruin you.”

I rolled my eyes playfully, offering my lips as a peace offering. He quickly accepted, kissing me deeply. “Man, I missed this.”

“More than you could ever know.”

[writers-hes]

tell me you need me (1 of 2) | c. berzatto x reader

It was good when you started but Carmen Berzatto had the ability to make anyone fall in love with him no matter how much you tried not to. (friends with benefits!carmen, smut, mndi!!!, unprotected p in v, smut! smut!, angst!! fluff, maybe some bad words, blood, unedited) MASTER LISTS

TAGLIST

I need you tonight. Want to go?

You sighed at the message that Carmy sent you. “Want to go” was a code for “I want to have sex.” and it’s been working pretty well for these past few months. You both needed some sort of release for the pent-up stress that you both have. Carmy, with the Bear and you, with art. You were a full-time artist; creating art inspired by food using oil paint and other forms of media. You’ve been stressed with your upcoming gallery opening next month. Would they love it? It’s quite hard to meet the expectations after winning the Herb Alpert Award in the Arts last year. It was close to Carmy’s James Beard Foundation award, if not the same. In a way, at the end of the day, you were two people excelling in your jobs except for everything else. You sucked at relationships, friendships, connection…what wasn’t artistic; you sucked at. Carmy was the same. Without thinking, you typed your response, a four letter word. Maybe you’ll see him tonight.

-

Carmy enters your home like he lived in it. He had his own set of keys, it was easier that way. He’s been so stressed with the Bear and the only thing that he needs is to blow off some of that steam before he can be functional again. There was supposed to be a celebrity who was wishing for a whole fucking kitchen tour tomorrow and he had to stay behind to make sure that everything was perfect. 

“Hey,” he greets you when he sees you perched on your couch. He liked your apartment much better; at least you had multiple rooms and your own space. It’s not like his; there was work everywhere while yours felt homey. Except your studio down the hall—damn, how much do artists earn today?

“Hey,” you replied. “Did you have dinner yet? I can heat up some of the Chinese food I ordered earlier.”

“No, no. It’s alright,” he says, removing his shoes in the doorway. You were always so tidy and meticulous. No outside clothes on the bed; he had to learn that the hard way. “Actually, um, can-can I take a shower first? I want to wash the day away and I-I smell like the kitchen.”

“And you took the L,”

“Ubered here, actually.”

“Surge rates?”

“I was in a rush.”

“Oh,” you gulped. “Well, you still have your clothes in my wardrobe and your toiletries in my bathroom.”

“Which one?” he asked. “Which-which bathroom?”

“The one in my bedroom,” you replied. “You know where the fresh towels are. So…”

“Uh, yeah-yeah,” he says. “Thanks.” You only smiled at him. Conversation before your engagements are usually awkward because you both knew what the two of you were there for. It’s more comfortable afterwards; when he talks about the Bear or asks you about your art.

You and Carmy met from a friend of a friend. You were looking for chefs that could serve you inspiration for your paintings when she mentioned Carmen Berzatto. You reached out to him and he replied three months later, telling you that he can show you some of the recipes that he’s been working on. He’s an artist himself—Sistine Chapel art kind of stuff. He explained the components of his dish over dinner in your hotel apartment in New York. You mentioned that you were from Chicago and he mentioned that he’s from Chicago too…you drank too much wine and the rest was history. 

You both stopped communicating when he met Claire but he reached out again, asking if you wanted to meet. He told you all about her and how he fucked up. You drank too much wine again. History has the habit of repeating itself.

You swore to never fall in love with Carmen Berzatto and you didn’t…not until recently. He used to leave immediately once you’re both done. Lately, he’s been staying over. He talks to you about everything. He stays over and wakes you up with coffee and some Michelin Star quality pancakes or French toast. He watches you take your first bite before he takes his, likes to watch your reaction and likes hearing your praise.

You were too lost in your reviere to notice Carmen walking to you, all fresh and clean. He lays a hand on your shoulder and kisses your neck.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks, voice deep and sultry. 

“You,” you replied, reaching up to massage his curls. 

“Good,” he says, removing himself from you and sitting on the opposite side of the couch. “Needed you today…but I want to talk first before…before…”

“That’s fine with me,” you replied, inching closer to him. “What’s wrong?” He puts his hand on your knee, squeezing it lightly. Since when was he so comfortable around you?

“I…I just… Mikey,” The name lingers heavy in the air. Anytime Carmen feels the crushing weight of the pressure, he says Mikey. Whenever he feels inadequate, not enough, never enough—he says Mikey.

“He’ll be proud of you, Carm,” you said, smiling at him. “Like everyone else is.”

“I’m sorry for not inviting you to the opening…Claire was-was there and…”

“I understand,” You put your hand over his to reassure him that everything’s okay. “I understand.”

“You wouldn’t have seen me,” he chuckled. “I was locked inside the walk-in the whole time and well, everything was great. What if I’m not needed?”

Is it too late for me to love you? 

“Carm…” you trailed off, trying to find the words. “Of course, you’re needed. The Bear wouldn’t be The Bear without you, you know? Your family must be so proud of you because I know that-that I am. I’m so proud of you and I-I need you so much,” you told him. “I need you, Carmen. More than you could ever know.”

Is it too late for me to love you? 

Maybe it was the words that you said, maybe it was the long forgotten show on the T.V., maybe it was because the T.V. screen illuminated your face in a way that was so, so beautiful. Maybe it was just him.

“Let’s go to bed,” he rasps, taking your hand and dragging you to the bedroom. Once he closes the door behind him, Carmy presses you against it, taking your chin and kissing you. It was slow and needy; this kiss was needy. You trail your hand underneath the white shirt that hugged his figure. You caress his sides up and down; softly; slowly and Carmen releases a whimper into your mouth. I need you. I need you. I need you. 

“Baby,” he whispers, pulling away from you to remove his shirt. “Baby, baby, baby.”

“I need you, Carmen,” you muster the courage to kiss his neck now, sucking and nipping right under his collarbone. He lets you do it, he lets you mark him like you own him. He tugs on the roots of your hair lightly. You lick the purple bruise, nipping it again just so it could last one more week. Carmen was sighing above you, letting you take him like he wanted to be taken. His hands itch, slipping right under the waistband of your panties to cup your heated cunt. “Carmy,”

“I know, baby. Let’s get you to bed, hm?” he asks, pushing you slightly. “Lay down for me. I missed you so much. Let me show you,”

You obey his commands, opening your legs widely like he likes. He crawls until his face is right in front and removes your underwear, tossing it to the side. He’ll take care of that later.

“You’re so wet,” he groans, when he lets his index finger trail along your slit. You buckle in need; silently begging him to do more. “So, fucking wet,” he repeats, parting your folds until he sees your glistening cunt. 

“Carm…” you whine. He spits on your clit and you whimper. 

“Let me taste you, hm?” you heard him say, his wandering fingers rubbing all sorts of shapes on your folds. You could only nod and he takes that, licking a bold stripe. You press your cunt against his tongue and he just takes it. He licks a few more stripes before sucking your clit softly. 

“Carmy,” you moan. Your hands trail down underneath your shirt, thumbs softly flicking your sensitive nipples. Carmy could just come at the sight of you playing with them but he holds back, sucking your clit harsher before plunging his thick middle finger inside you. “Oh, fuck,” 

He pumps the finger slowly…in, out, in, out while he licks your sensitive bud. 

“Fuck, Carmy,” you whimper. “Fuck me,”

“Later,” was his nonchalant reply; enjoying the sweet nectar that dripped from your sloppy pussy. It was better than any dessert he’s ever had before. If it was um to him, he’d have his head buried in between your legs, eating you out forever. You buckle again, pinching your nipples hard and tugging them. 

“Carm…”

“I know, I know,” he says, sucking your clit harshly for one last time before crawling on top of you. “Taste,” he orders. You obliged, opening your mouth and putting on a show with the way you licked your juices off of his finger. “Fuck,” he groans. He palms himself through his boxers while you sucked on his finger. You released it with one last suck before putting your hand on top of Carmy’s to feel his hardening cock underneath. You push his hand away while you squeeze his member lightly. Just enough for him to rut his hips against your hand. Just enough for him to toss his boxers to the side.

You tried to sit up to see him pump a few strokes, moaning your name while he did. He gets off the bed, looking at the way your body moved while you breathed. 

“Beautiful,” he whispers to himself before dragging your body to the end of the bed. He pries your legs open and puts one of them over his shoulder. He liked it like this, it fills you up in ways you cannot describe. “Need you to play with your tits while I fuck you, hm?”

He taps his cock against your pussy.

“Can you hear how wet you are?” he asked, sliding his cock in between your folds. You could feel the protruding vein run along your nub and you moan, massaging your breasts to show him your obedience. “Fuck,”

“Carmy…” you whimpered. “Please.”

He hums, grabbing his member and teasing your wet entrance with his pink tip. “You’re so…”

With no warning, Carmy plunges deep into you and you both groan. You were waiting for this. He’s been wanting this the whole day. He stays there for a few seconds before he thrusts in and out of you slowly. 

“Fuck,” 

The slopping noises inside your room reverberated in your walls and for a few moments, the sounds of your groans and skin slapping against skin heightens your arousal. Carmy thumbs your clit and he feels your walls clench around him.

“Don’t do that, petal,” he rasps, sweat dripping on his forehead. “I’ll cum fast if you do.”

“Sorry,” you choked out. He only grunts as he adjusts his pace. He was faster now and you could hear he ragged breathing. “Carmy, I need you.”

“Y-you need me,” he repeats to himself. “You need me.”

“I do,” you told him, moaning when he plunges his cock deep inside you. “Need you, need you,” 

“Oh, fuck,” he groans. “Tell me that you need me. Tell me,”

“I need you, Carmy,” you whine. “I need you to cum inside me,” 

Carmy’s eyes widened. You’ve never let him do that before. He always had to pull out or use a condom. 

“Want me to fill you up?” he asks, his voice strained. “I’ll fill you —oh, fuck,” 

“Yes, please,” you sobbed, breath hitching at the feeling of his cock twitch inside of you. “Fuck, Carmy.”

Sex has never felt this good. 

You could feel the breaking point come nearer and he does too. His movements were sloppier, his breathing even more ragged that it was. Your walls were clenching around him but that seemed to arouse him even more. 

“Fuck, fuck,” he grunted. “I’ll fill you up, hm?” 

“Yes, please, Carmy,” you whine. He could only nod, doing his best to keep his orgasm at bay. He wanted to prolong this feeling; this emotion but he couldn’t. “Fuck, Carmy, I’m cumming, I’m cumming. Carm—oh!”

He follows soon after, moaning your name as he shoots ropes of cum inside your pussy. He could feel your walls clench around him and he thrusts in slowly, to ride both of your orgasms away. 

“You-you liked that?” he asked. He doesn’t pull out. Instead he takes your other leg and hangs in on his shoulder. “We have to make sure that not a drop goes to waste.”

You nodded and felt his hands caress your legs slowly. He slowly lays your legs back down on the bed and crawls on top of you, kissing your torso, neck, and your chest while he did. 

“Stay there,” he ordered and you nodded in assent. You just let him cum inside you. He walks over to the carafe on your bedside, filling the glass with water and then, taking a hand towel from your cabinet. He pours a little bit of the liquid onto the towel. You sit up when he wordlessly gives you the glass of water. He watches you finish it and kisses your head when you gave him the glass back. He sets it on the floor carefully before opening your legs so he could clean you up.

“No,” you shook your head and he stops, alert because you told him no. “I’m…I’m still sensitive,”

“Okay, petal,” he nods, taking the glass and the towel away. He picks up the tossed articles of clothing puts it in the laundry basket. He was quiet when he takes a fresh set of pyjamas and underwear from your wardrobe. “Raise your arms,” he says and you do. He puts a new shirt on you. “Lay down.” You followed him. He puts a new pair of panties on you. “Thank you,”

You were so tired now but you were still so aware of Carmy’s actions. He stands up from the bed to wear new clothes and sits down on the bed. He carefully places your head on his lap and plays with your hair.

“Thank you,” he says, bowing down to kiss your forehead. “Why don’t you sleep for me, hm?”

“Will you be here when I wake up?”

“Waffles or pancakes?”

“Waffles with whipped cream.”

-

Why won’t you let me love you?

There were times when you’d fight with Carmen. A disagreement over something so, so, so small. This time, it was big. It was the opening of your gallery and he promised to be there. It was a big night—multiple art collectors and mongers from all over America came to see your latest pieces. They were all inspired by the food you grew up eating in Chicago; a collection of how culture, identities, and personalities affect eating. Your paintings were in vibrant colors—cup ramen with cheese, cannoli, food that you grew up eating whenever your mom was away. There were small details on the significance of the new collection to your life and he wasn’t there. You were on the stage, telling everyone how grateful you were to the audience but you were preoccupied, looking for a familiar mop of curls in the crowd. He didn’t come. He didn’t go. 

You smiled at them half-heartedly before leaving the stage, ready to be whisked away by some art dealer. You were whisked away by multiple guests, asking you for more details on the painting. You all told them everything they needed to know, what they should do if they’d like to make a purchase…

It would have been alright if he texted you…but he promised he’d be there. He promised he’d take you home. He promised.

-

Carmy was sitting alone in his apartment. He left The Bear earlier than usual and went straight home. He did it all, shower, put a nice suit, and fix his hair. He did it all, he even ran to the nearest florist to buy you flowers but he didn’t go. 

Isn’t this what lovers do? 

He wasn’t your lover. He couldn’t let himself be distracted again. He had to focus; he couldn’t fail the people that relied on him. He looked at the bag of groceries he got from the store; he was supposed to cook you something special tonight. Have you eaten yet? Fuck the suit that he paid for dry cleaning; fuck the flowers; fuck him. It must have hurt you—he knows that. Tonight was a big night and you were so excited to show him a painting that you’ve been working on. 

“I won’t sell it,” you told him. “I’ll have it shipped to you first thing in the morning.”

Would you still send it to him?

-

By the end of the night, you were exhausted. Happy, but exhausted. It was normal; talking to everyone and being scintillating the whole night was work but it was worth it. Your paintings all had their new owners, except for the painting that you promised to Carmy. Would he still want it? You were alone in the studio, wrapping the 4 by 3 foot canvas with the best quality glassine. You were giving this to him tomorrow. If he doesn't want to have it, you’ll probably just donate it somewhere else. 

You laid awake in your bed all night long, waiting for his text. It was funny, just last week he was begging you to tell him that you needed him but when you needed him most, he wasn’t there. 

You arrive at The Bear just before it opens, the big canvas tucked under your arm. He was sure to be there and had always told you to use the back door if you weren’t dining. You always obliged, of course, opening the backdoor to reveal everyone. You’ve met Sydney and Richie before but you haven’t met the others yet. You were an alien in an unknown world; Carmy’s employees looking at you, as if wondering who this girl was. 

“Hey,” Sydney greeted, looking at the glassine covered thing that you were carrying. “Didn’t know you were coming in today. Congratulations on your exhbit,”

“Yeah, Congrats. What’s that, sweetheart?” Richie asked. 

“Oh,” you just nodded. Carmy couldn’t even look at you. “I just came here to give this to…uh, Carmy,” you cleared your throat. “Carm…?”

“Uh, yeah-yeah,” he stuttered. “Can we go to the office?” 

“Sure.”

You followed him into the office while Richie tells everyone to go back to what they were doing. Your heart was hammering inside your chest, afraid that this was going to be another one of those petty fights that you’ve had with him. 

You were wrong. So, so wrong. 

“You didn’t come last night,” you told him, shielding yourself from him with the painting. “I…I waited.”

“Sorry,” was his laconic reply. You nodded, chuckling. 

“That’s all?” you asked. “Just…sorry? No explanation, no nothing?” you asked. “I was looking for you the whole night, Carm. You promised you were coming,”

“I don’t know what-what you want me to say,” he says, looking everywhere but at you. “I-I-I’m sorry, okay? I had other plans.”

“You promised months ago that you were coming,” you repeated. “I called Sydney last night because you weren’t answering and she told me that you left early.”

“You’re spying on me now?” he asks, suddenly defensive. “I had things to do that night. I can’t-can’t just put everything on hold for-for you.” He spits his words like venom, voice getting louder with every word.

You frowned, not recognizing who the boy was in front of you. It’s not like you asked him to put his life on hold. Your heart was beating so fast in anger, ears ringing. 

“I see. So you just need me around and you-you just I don’t know, call me because you need to get your dick wet?” you asked, matching his volume. “You just need me around when no one else is there to fuck you? Is that it?” you asked. “What the fuck?” 

Carmy blinks, tries to think of the words he’s about to say but he couldn’t stop himself. He could never seem to stop himself. 

“You’re the only one desperate enough to do so,” he shrugs. It breaks your heart in pieces, really. The nights Carmen spent nuzzling his head in your shoulder before you slept probably meant nothing to him. Your face falls, contorting in hurt at what he just said. Fuck Carmen Berzatto. Fuck him. “I’m not your fucking boyfriend. I don’t know why you expect me to just-just-just do something!”

“Maybe I wanted you there as my friend!” you shouted over. Your voices could be heard from outside but everyone else pretended like they weren’t listening to anything that you both were saying. You were shouting over each other now, the fuse just breaks. “If you didn’t have any fucking plans to actually go, then don’t give me your good for nothing fucking promises!”

“I don’t need a girl leeching on me when I’m opening a fucking restaurant. Do you want me to put everything on you just because you asked me to? I’m not your fucking boyfriend. You know that right? And maybe-maybe I don’t want to be your fucking friend either!”

“Why would I want you to be my boyfriend, Carmy? You’re-you’re fucking unreliable! You have issues that need fixing. You think Claire could fix that? You think I could fix that? You think the girls you get wrapped around your fucking finger can fix your fucked up fucking head? Huh? Is that what you think? You’re so fucking miserable you make everyone around you miserable! Grow up!” He’s hurt. That’s what you thought of him? That he was miserable? Did he make you miserable?

“I don’t need to go to your fucking art exhibition when they’re all fucking shit.”

You closed your mouth before you could protest. The pain of his words felt like a slap on the face. If he regretted it, he didn’t show it. You turned away, nodding. 

“Fuck you, Carmen. Don’t fucking call me. Don’t fucking knock on my door. Don’t…don’t fucking think of me. I’m fucking done with you,”

“Yeah? You’re done with me, huh? Fuck you,” he spits back. He heard the waver in your voice; heard how you tried to steady everything. He wanted to say sorry but you were already leaving. Richie and Sydney couldn’t even ask you what happened because you were rushing out, throwing the painting you worked hard on for days at the back. Fuck Carmen Berzatto. Fuck him. 

-

“Fuck!” his chefs could hear from outside the office. Everyone heard the vile things you both screamed at each other; everyone heard why you were so angry. Everyone fucking heard. Nobody dared to move, they didn’t want to be on the receiving end of Carmy’s anger; not when The Bear was about to open. Continuous loud bangs and sounds of some object being thrown were heard too. Sugar sighed. 

“Carm?” she called from the door. “It’s almost opening,”

“I-I-I know, Sug.” he replied, blinking. “Uh, can-can you guys go ahead? I’ll be there, I just-just need to you know, calm down?”

“Okay, Bear,” she smiles, tapping the door frame before leaving Carmen in his own thoughts. He gets out of the restaurant through the back door, about to light a cigarette, when he sees the canvas wrapped with glassine. 

“Fuck,” was the only thing he could mutter before taking it and sitting where the staff usually stayed at when they wanted a break. He lights up a stick and lets it hang loose on his lips while he opens your gift with shaky hands. He was so immersed in the experience, gently removing the tape and making sure that nothing was ruined that he didn’t notice Sydney. 

The glassine reveals a painting of a plate of cannolis. He remembered that he told you the story about cannolis during Christmas and how he wanted to recreate that—take it for himself. He traces over the precise brushstrokes shakily. 

“That’s a good painting,” Sydney spoke, her hands behind her back. “Would be a waste to just throw it out.”

“I know,” Carmy nods. “I’m sorry you had to uh, hear all of that.”

“It’s…something,” Sydney replied, making Carmy chuckle. 

“I always…always seem to uh, fuck up everything,” he muttered. “I was on the way there, you know? Last night?”

“Yeah. You were so excited,”

“I was,” he coughed. “But I didn’t go because…” Words died down in his mouth. Why didn’t he go? “I’ve said some things and she-she doesn’t want me to call her anymore and I-I understand but like, I don’t know, Syd.”

Don’t know why I could never seem to just let myself enjoy things. I don’t belong anywhere else but in the fucking kitchen. It’s the only thing I was good at.

“I didn’t really want to to, uh, fuck this up.”

-

I want to talk to you.

Come to my apartment after your shift. Or whenever.

Carmen feels his palms sweat when he reads  texts you sent him days ago. He decided to go today, finally—he was never good at confronting things; always so explosive, so defensive. He didn’t know what he’d feel like today. He knocks on your door and hears the shuffling from the other side. He just got out of The Bear; he was tired but he forced himself to go. He had to go. 

“Hey,” you smiled tightly when you opened the door. “Come in.”

He nods, wordlessly entering your apartment like how henused to. Bag and shoes on the side. Somehow, this made him more nervous than usual. This was a prelude to something else entirely; he believed that.

“How are you? he asked, voice small and looking down. 

“I’m…good,” you replied, looking away. “You?”

“Busy,” he replied. The air felt heavy and his palms were sweating. “I’m…I’m sorry for not being there when I promised you that I would,”

“Why weren’t you there, Carm?” you asked and he could hear the sadness in your voice. He knew that your exhibit meant a lot to you. “You…you told me you will and well, you were…the-the person I want to be there the most.”

“I didn’t know that. I’m- I’m sorry,” he shrugged. “But why? I mean, I-I don’t know art. I like my shit but I-I’m not cool or understand—“

“Because I like you, Carmy.” you told him, looking at him now and trying to go nearer. He stepped back and you stopped your tracks.

“You—what?” he asked, shaking his head furiously; like your confession offended him. “You…like me.”

“I do,” you nodded. “But…it doesn’t matter.”

“Fuck. How many times do we have to go back to this very same place for you to understand?” he asked, running a hand through his hair. He told you before that he didn’t want to date. You told him you understood. You told him he was being egotistic when he told you not to get attached. He wanted to leave. He didn’t expect this to happen—he didn’t want this to happen. “I don’t—I don’t—“

“Carmy,” you cautioned him, trying to ease your beating heart. “Can you listen to me? I-I-I like you, okay and I’ve been thinking about it too. I’m—you’re always staying behind after sex and well, I just maybe thought that you liked me too.” You replied, swallowing his rejection for now.

“I don’t,” he snaps, tone sharp. “We’ll both be miserable in a relationship. I’ll never make-make you happy. You’re right, you know? I’m unreliable and-and-and issues that I need to fix…and I’m not the one you’re looking for,”

“I’m sorry for saying that. It wasn’t my place to do so,” was your meek reply. How does he feel so far away when he feels so, so, so close?

“No, uh,” Carmen blinks, shaking his head. “It’s fine. I-I-I needed to hear those things, you know? I’m sorry too…for everything.”

“Thank you.”

“That’s it then?” he asked. He was distressed. How could he fuck this up after telling Sydney that he didn’t want to fuck things up with you? “I…I had fun,” You were the only one who kept me afloat when everything else turned to shit. I missed you when we stopped talking. I should have fought harder. What else could I have done?

“Fun,” you chuckled bitterly. “Fun…that’s the only thing you’re going to say to me?”

Carmy frowned. 

“What else did you want me to say?”

“I don’t know, Carmy!” you exclaimed, pacing back and forth but never towards him. “God! Tell me that I’m important to you. Tell me that I’ll still be your friend…tell me that you—that you—that I mean more than a fuck!”

Silence. Carmy couldn’t find the words to tell you what you truly meant to him…that he wanted what you wanted too but he was too scared to fuck it all up again like he did with Claire.

You nodded, looking away. You breathed in deeply, as if trying to relieve yourself of the hurt. That’s all you’ve ever meant to him. 

“You lead me along and it’s fine. I know that it’s my fault for wanting other things but at least…at least tell me that I’ll still be your friend; that I still matter to you even if I dug myself a hole by feeling things. Tell me that you still need me to put everything on hold for you because I’ve been waiting you to call me all day…”

“I don’t want you to do that. I don’t want you putting your life on hold for me,” he rasps. “I don’t…”

“But what if I wanted to?” you asked, face slightly contorted because you didn’t want to be so vulnerable in front of him. Not when he hasn’t told you what you wanted yet. Carmy was just looking at you, tapping his foot on the floor. It was a nervous habit that he developed. Fuck, he needed a cigarette.

“Can you, uh, leave?” you asked, voice low. “I…” 

“No, no, no,” he begs, rushing towards you. He grabs a hold of your elbows to remind you that he was there. Would it mean anything? Would his touch convey all of the words he wanted to say? 

“Carm…” your voice breaks. “Carm…”

“No, no. You’re not just that to me,” he reassures “But you have to understand that-that I can’t love you like that.”

“Carmen, please…” you beg, tears brimming in your eyes. “Please…just, just leave,”

You’ve never asked him to leave before but it seemed like it was what you really wanted—like it was what you really needed. He nods, kissing your head softly before detaching himself from you. 

“I’m sorry,” Carmy said. “For-for not saying the right, uh, things.”

“Yeah,” you nod, hiding yourself from him. He hated that you had to do that when you’ve cried on his shoulders multiple times. He never liked seeing you cry; he just didn’t know that one day, he’ll be on the receiving end of your sadness. He watches you rub your forehead, biting your lip to stop yourself from crying. If you started crying, would he stay?

-

It’s been months since Carmy left. He’s been in his best form in the kitchen. He was making things easier for his staff; he was working twenty four hours a day. Going to The Bear early to help with prep; staying late to help them clean after a long shift of cooking and cooking and kitchen tours. He’s been getting acclaim—more acclaim, really. There was a waiting list on his restaurant and positive reviews from left and right flooded in. The Bear was dubbed as “The Restaurant of the Year” in Chicago despite being less than a year old. 

He’s been doing good—perfect. 

It was like he was a hamster in a fucking wheel with no other way to escape. He likes putting himself in gear, like driving fast because it makes him believe that nothing really hurts him. He didn’t like being at home; it reminded him too much of you. It reminded him of when you’d lean on the kitchen counter, a small smile on your lips while you watched him cook you something. He didn’t like sitting on the couch because it reminded him of when he slept with his head on your lap. He didn’t like it in his bedroom because he’s reminded of that night when you pulled him closer in your sleep. He didn’t like The Bear because the painting that you gave him hung so proudly by the dining area. It was marvellous—they said. How was he able to get a painting that you did when your art was so valuable��and in demand? 

He was moving so fast so you wouldn’t cross his mind but it seemed like no matter what he did, he'd end up thinking about you anyway. 

It didn’t matter, how come a fall like that made him feel like flying? Maybe he’s waiting for it to hit him but he was feeling alright. 

He was alright. 

“Chef!” Sydney called, looking at Carmen who was chopping the vegetables like a madman. “Carmen!”

“Fuck, what, Sydney?!” he asked, slamming his knife on the counter. 

“You’re bleeding,” Marcus told him and Carmen looked down, blood was all over the chopping board. “You’ve been bleeding for a few seconds now…we’ve all been calling your name, Chef.” 

“Fuck, I-I-I’m…” Carmen was a blubbering mess, just watching his hand bleed like it didn’t matter. “I’m-I’m,”

“Take a break, Carm,” Sydney says but her partner just shakes his head. “Carm—“

“Sydney, don’t—don’t make me take a fucking break, please.”

“You’ll need to clean up and make sure there’s no more blood,” Sydney told him. “I’m not fucking around,”

“Yeah,” he nods, putting his fist over his heart and drawing circles. Sydney nods and Carmy fixes his station. 

He couldn’t stop shaking, though. Even Tina saw how his hand trembled. What the fuck?

“Carmen,” 

“Yeah…just…just give me a second, please.” he nods, picking his knife again and doing everything perfectly. Like clockwork. He’s back. He’s back. He’s fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m alright. 

PART 2

AN: Thank you for the love! This is going to be a two-part fic because I love how everything is right now… Don’t forget to comment / reblog if you like it! I read every single little thing you guys type…even the hashtags.

TAGLIST: @kpopgirlbtssvt @morgthemagpie @hal3ynicol3 @1800-queen-trash

[hllywdwhre]

Long Time Coming

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x fem!reader

Summary: When each of the family members noticed you and Tommy falling for each other

Warnings: arranged marriage, mentions of heroin (talks about how Tommy used it and the Chinese selling it - nothing graphic, only mentions), let me know if I missed any!

Word Count: 1.7K

Notes: THANK YOU for all the love on Revenge! After many comments and requests asking for more of the pairing, I decided to delve deeper into the development of Tommy and her’s relationship. Up next is moments reader and Tommy fell for each other!

Can technically be read as a stand-alone, but is meant to pair with this Tommy fic I wrote.

Polly

Polly was the second to catch on. She knows her nephew far too well to not notice the small changes. Grace’s death changed something deep inside of Tommy and she didn’t think she’d ever see the day when Tommy, not only fell in love but allowed himself to love again.

Then you came along.

He started smiling more and drinking less. You got him to stop using dope to self-medicate. He also didn’t look nearly as tired.

She always said Tommy had his mother’s smile when he truly smiled, and it had been a long time since Polly had seen her sister’s smile on his face. You made a sarcastic comment in the private booth at The Garrison once though and there it was.

She noticed you falling for him when you came to her with way too much anxiety over an innocent, and adorable, request.

You were picking at your nails as you sat on her sofa while she lit a candle in her living room,

“Tommy mentioned you were the only one who had ever been able to replicate his mother’s raspberry tart recipe. I was wondering if there was any way you could teach me to make them?”

Polly froze for a moment, surprised at the request given your anxious state. It was then that she realized why you were so nervous. Even if you hadn’t realized it, you were falling for Tommy.

You two spent the rest of the day in her kitchen perfecting the recipe.

Arthur

Arthur, bless him, can be pretty blind when it comes to romance. Like. Really blind. Lust? He can spot it a mile away. Hell, he was the first to notice that you and Tommy were sleeping together. But love? Gods help him.

It took until you killed Sabini for him to notice the two of you were in love.

The next day neither you nor Tommy wanted to leave your bed, but an emergency family meeting with the Shelbys and your father had been called because of your actions.

When you told everyone what you had done, Arthur was the first to break the shocked silence.

“Why the bloody ‘ell would you ‘ave done that?” He’d shouted in a mix of shock and anger.

“He’s been intimidating my father and me for over a year now, and then yesterday I learned what he had done to you lot… My anger got the best of me and I was tired of him,” you’d replied with a deep crimson blush spreading across your face.

The rest of the family and your father wore knowing smirks at your explanation, but you could see the moment it all clicked in Arthur’s eyes. His smirk spread across his face and his tone went from shocked and angry, to proud.

“Well, love, remind me not to piss you off.”

John

Since he’d had an arranged marriage of his own, John knew better than most what you and Tommy were going through. In a rare moment of vulnerability, Tommy had actually come to John for advice before the wedding on how to help things go more smoothly and make sure that you were comfortable.

After a couple of months of being married, John had gotten Tommy alone and checked in on how he and you were doing. It was when Tommy had seemed surprised that things were going so well that John noticed his brother was becoming fond of you. He didn’t question Tommy on how he felt, he knew better than to think his brother would spill his heart to him, but he could see that Tommy felt something for you.

Esme & Ada

Once again, since Esme’s own marriage into the Shelby family was an arranged one, she went out of her way to make you feel included and make sure you knew that she was an open, non-judgmental, and private ear you could turn to.

Ada walked in on you and Esme having a more vulnerable conversation when you were first married and you and Esme both immediately changed the topic. When Ada later asked Esme in private what the two of you had been discussing, Esme answered as honestly as she could without giving away details.

”I know what she’s going through, to an extent. I got lucky with how quickly I was accepted since John and I immediately clicked. Not to mention the way I saw every inch of you on our wedding night,” Esme said, both her and Ada laughing lightly at the memory of Esme not seeing her own husband naked on their wedding night, but instead his sister as she gave birth to Karl.

After that, Ada made sure to include you in any shopping trips she went on and opened her house in London to you in case you ever needed to get away.

”I know how my brother is. He can be a right twat when he wants to be. Just let me know if you ever need an escape. We’ll call it a girl’s night.”

The two women noticed you falling for Tommy when you were included in one of the shopping trips and they asked how things were going. You’d tried to brush the question off far too quickly, and when they couldn’t pry out of you that anything bad had happened, they quickly pieced together that you were catching feelings.

Michael

Michael noticed as Tommy’s jealousy and protectiveness over you grew. The Shelby family knew you were capable of handling your own, but that didn’t mean Tommy wasn’t going to be protective. Especially after Grace.

Michael watched the way Tommy went from simply glaring at any men who tried flirting with you, to approaching the men and wrapping his arm around you while questioning whatever unfortunate man had angered him if "he had spotted the ring on your finger and was simply stupid, or if he was blind."

Jealousy was what gave it away for Michael.

Finn

Finn noticed after a particularly dangerous job involving you didn’t go according to plan. You and Finn were the only two who wouldn’t be immediately recognized, so it was up to you two to find out if the Chinese had been selling heroin even after Tommy had threatened them with a bomb.

The two of you had been separated and you hadn’t returned yet when Finn made his way to the betting shop where everyone was waiting.

Tommy’s rage when Finn dared show up without you was something Finn never wanted to be on the receiving end of again.

Charlie

Charlie was the first to notice. Granted he didn’t realize what he was seeing, but he had noticed.

You had convinced Tommy to build a stable at The Arrow House. He, Charlie, and you all loved horses, and it would be a fun way for you and Charlie to bond.

Tommy was away on business and you and Charlie had decided to take the horses for a ride. Charlie sat in front of you and you were letting him guide the horse as he hammered you with various questions about the world.

“Why do horses eat grass? Where do horses come from? Why can’t they eat human food?”

It was during this conversation that he pointed out that Tommy liked you.

“When will Daddy be back?” Charlie asked you.

“In two more days. He’s handling some business in London,” you answered easily.

“I miss him,” he said wistfully.

“I’m sure he misses you, too,” you reassured, “but he has to work so we can have our house and horses,” you told him, hoping to comfort the child some more.

“Do you miss him?” Charlie questioned, turning his head to look up at you.

“I do,” you answered easily. It wasn’t a lie.

By this point, you had grown to care for Tommy. You thought it was only as a friend and nothing more, but Charlie seemed to notice it was something different. You and Tommy didn’t feel the need to explain to Charlie what an arranged marriage was. The two of you had talked about how you were going to explain your marriage to Charlie, and you had both come up with a way to explain it to him without potentially causing any insecurities in the child or exposing him to what an arranged marriage was. It was a delicate balance of lies and truth, but neither of you wanted to tell Charlie “Well, sometimes marriage isn’t love, it’s business.” He was going to deal with enough at the truth of his mother’s death, and neither of you felt it was necessary to add a potential insecurity about whether the new mother figure in his life actually cared for him.

“He misses you, too,” Charlie said, breaking you out of your thoughts.

Your eyebrows furrowed together and you looked down at him,

“I’d hope so since we’re married, but what makes you say that?” You were still walking that delicate line of truth and lies, but his comment had piqued your interest.

“He watches you a lot and smiles a lot.”

His simple explanation could easily be explained away and you explained it away internally, but Charlie had noticed what you and Tommy hadn’t noticed yet.

Alfie

Alfie and you had always had a cheeky and joking relationship. You got on like old school friends more than sometimes-ally-sometimes-pain-in-the-ass.

However, when Tommy and you came to him to see if you could rally his support in the inevitable war that was going to break out with Sabini’s men, he noticed the dynamic had changed. Typically meetings with Alfie were tense with the atmosphere only broken by your sarcastic comments and Alfie’s borderline flirting with you.

Alfie was taken aback when you shot down his flirting and Tommy sent a glare his way.

He recovered quickly though and soon went on to teasing the two of you about your “newfound happiness”.

”Was wondering when the two of you were going to pull your heads out of your asses and smell the roses.”

[bambisworlds]

bambi and her bodyguard

simon "ghost" riley is bambi's bodyguard, he worships the ground she walks on but fights his feelings for her. well, until he can't anymore (5,121 word count, i'm insane)

*bambi is my oc, click on my pinned 'about my blog' post to learn more about her :)

content warnings, mdni 18+

f!reader, bambi!oc, bodyguard!simon, unmasked!simon, gentledom!simon, innocent!reader, shy!reader, inexperienced!reader (but not a virgin), simon is down bad for reader, protective!simon, jealous!simon, oral (f. recieving), fingering, p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), use of "Daddy" (2 times), use of "good girl", lottts of praise, not really a warning but frequent consent checks (consent is sexy), frequent usage of pet names, let me know if i missed anything x

Simon never expected to like his charge for his latest bodyguard gig. The contract would only last for a year, and then he'd likely move on to whatever spoiled brat he was assigned to next. He retired from special forces 5 years ago. He thought he'd enjoy it, but as it turns out he hates to sit still. So, he started working as a bodyguard 2 years ago. He's had 8 jobs so far, most of them were short-term gigs. Bambi was his latest assignment.

Her name wasn't actually Bambi, but the nickname fitted her well. She looked as if she belonged in some flower field where the sunlight could shine on her, making her hair glow in golden hues. Bambi was gentle and skittish like a deer with big doe eyes. The object of innocence and sweetness. He wanted nothing more than to taste the sweetness of her lips and her cunt, but he couldn't go there. He wouldn't.

Bambi was the daughter of the CEO of a luxurious company. He was a billionaire, and like most wealthy and famous people he had people who hated him. Her father was receiving threats on both himself and more importantly, Bambi. His words to Simon in the consultation before he was hired were; "She's too good for this world, too innocent. These thugs would squash her like a bug."

Her father was right, Bambi was too good for this world. And he would do whatever it took to keep her from its harsh realities.

Simon stood outside of her bedroom, he could hear pop music faintly playing inside. Probably Ariana Grande or SZA, which Bambi had been educating Simon on against his will. Bambi had plans to go out with her best friend, Florence. She and Florence have been friends since middle school. They were an unlikely pair. Florence was outgoing, raunchy, and bold. Bambi was not. Bambi was shy, polite, and kind. Florence, like Simon, knew Bambi was precious, so she often used her boldness to defend Bambi, which Simon greatly appreciated.

Simon had been staring at the wall across from him in a haze as he listened to Bambi's faint, melodic humming from inside her bedroom. He was practically in a trance. But, he was snapped out of it as Florence came strutting down the hall.

"Hey big stuff," she greets Simon with a wink as she walks into Bambi's room without knocking.

"Florence," Simon greets flatly. As if there was some magnetic pull between him and Bambi, he turned so he could look into her room. Florence had left the door open after she entered. Simon leaned on the doorway as he watched Florence try to coax Bambi to do bolder eye makeup. Simon didn't think it was necessary. She looked angelic with her usual soft, pink eyeshadow and the delicate highlighter on her nose that gave her a natural but ethereal glow.

Simon barely registered Florence's outfit, his gaze was hyper-focused on the silk, pink dress Bambi was wearing. It had fine flower designs on it with a low cut, giving a glimpse of her cleavage. Simon gulped and forced himself to look away, pretending to seem intrigued by the collection of romance novels on her bookshelf.

"Si's coming with us," Bambi says, her sweet voice calling Simon's attention back to her like a siren call. He blamed the flip in his stomach on the shitty Chinese food he had for lunch, not her calling him 'Si'. She was supposed to refer to him as Ghost, but Simon wanted to hear his name on her lips, so he asked her to call him Simon two weeks into his job.

"You won't even know I'm there," Simon says, his tone dull, as she tried to prevent Florence's unavoidable bitching about him accompanying them to the blues bar they were going to.

"Yeah, right," Florence scoffs, turning towards Simon, "What are you? 6'4, 6'5? I'm sure I won't even notice your sasquatch ass behind Bambi the entire night," she says with a roll of her eyes.

"He's just doing his job, be nice," Bambi coaxes Florence with a gentle touch on her arm.

Simon watched transfixed as Bambi adjusted her hair in the mirror. It was neatly curled with a lovely, pink bow on the back of her head to keep her hair out of her stunning eyes. Bambi adjusted her dress and turned to Simon, "Are you ready?" she asked gently.

Simon cleared his throat, he barely listened to the words she said, he was too focused on her otherwordly-like appearance. "Yeah, I'm ready," he says gruffly.

"Good, let's go," Florence says and takes her hand, pulling her along with her as she exits Bambi's bedroom.

The whole drive to the blues bar was torture for Simon. He tried to stay focused on the road, but his eyes kept involuntarily drifting to the rearview mirror to get a glimpse of Bambi.

"I need to find you a man," Florence says to Bambi and Simon snaps out of his daze. His eyes fly to the rearview mirror again at almost inhuman speed. Florence was perceptive, or at least more perceptive than Bambi, so she had picked up on Simon's feelings for Bambi. And damn, did she love torturing him with it.

"I don't know, no guys seem to be the kind that I want," Bambi sighs, fidgeting with her purse, "I've tried dating apps, but they all just want hookups or they ghost you once things start to get serious. I want someone to understand me, to want to understand me."

I understand you. Simon wanted to say but bit his tongue.

"Maybe we'll find your Prince Charming tonight," Florence says to Bambi with a gentle smile, before turning to look at Simon in the rearview mirror with a mischievous smirk. Simon scoffs under his breath and focuses back on the road, his grip on the steering wheel tightening.

Simon was two seconds away from punching something, someone, in the face. He never had the desire to hit a woman before, but damn was he itching to as he watched Florence introduce Bambi to a group of frat guys. Simon was positioned at the opposite end of the bar so he wasn't breathing down their neck, but could still see them clearly.

Simon wasn't supposed to drink on the job, but he went against protocol and downed a shot of bourbon after one of the frat guys rested his hand on Bambi's lower back.

His grip tightens on the now empty glass as Bambi smiles at the guy shyly, her cheeks tinted pink. Simon was practically seething when Florence looked at him over her shoulder with a smirk, clearly enjoying his struggle. She wanted him to man up and tell Bambi how he feels and she was gonna make him, one way or another.

After another grueling half an hour of watching the string bean of a human flirt with Bambi, Simon stood, the bar stool scuffing from his abrupt movement. He practically stomped over to them, stopping when he was positioned behind Bambi. The frat guy slowly looked up at Simon, who stood nearly a foot taller than him, he could see the unease in his eyes. Simon reveled in it.

"Your dad wants you to go home, said he got a new threat in the mail," Simon says flatly, his eyes bearing into the man's face. Bambi flinched at the sound of his deep voice, unaware he had been behind her. Simon grabbed her wrist, but with a gentleness that contrasted his rough exterior, and started to lead Bambi out of the bar. Florence followed after them with a slight smile.

Simon led Bambi to the car, he offered her his hand as she got in and closed the door behind her before getting in the driver's seat.

“Thanks for the help,” Florence mumbles as she gets in the car as well without any special treatment from Simon.

“I’ll drop you off on the way,” Simon says flatly to Florence. His eyes were dark, situated on the road ahead of him as he spoke. Florence knew she had pissed him off tonight, and she couldn’t be happier about it, which Simon knew, pissing him off further.

Simon pulled in front of Florence’s apartment. Bambi bid her goodnight.

Florence stopped at the driver's side window, “You better not fuck this up.” She says to Simon, a quiet warning before she heads up to her apartment.

Her words rang in Simon’s ears the whole way home, he really didn’t want to fuck things up with Bambi. But he needed to taste her, to be surrounded and engulfed by her sweet, addictive, scent.

After pulling up to the Bambi's father's mansion, he killed the engine. His heart pounded in his chest at the knowledge that her father was away on business. He fell into the usual routine of helping her out of the car and walking her to the door with a protective hand on her lower back.

Simon held open the door for her, and once she entered he did as well, closing the door behind them and locking it. Simon stood, utterly motionless and silent, as she took off her Mary Jane shoes. When she straightened back up Simon spoke, "What do you want in a boyfriend? What traits, what behaviors?" Bambi turned to look at Simon, her delicate features furrowing slightly from the question. "I'll be any of it, anything you want," Simon says, hating the slight desperation in his tone.

Bambi's big eyes scanned over his face with a mix of confusion and understanding.

"What do you want?" Simon asks again.

"I want them to be like you," Bambi says softly.

Simon swallowed roughly, his hand twitching with the effort of keeping still. "Like me?" Simon asks, his tone flat.

"Not like you," she says, her voice soft and airy, "I want you."

Simon could hear his heart pounding in his ears as the entire world seemed to get smaller and smaller until only Bambi remained. Before he could think twice about it, he walked over to her in two long strides and captured her lips with his. The softness of her lips made his head spin. His large hands moved to span across her waist, pulling her closer to him.

"You want me?" Simon asks, his lips a breath away from hers, "You can have me." he says, his voice gruff. "Whenever you want. However you want."

Bambi let out a shaky breath and kissed him again, her soft hands moving up to rest on the back of his neck. Simon's legs nearly gave out from the eagerness of her kiss, but he forced himself to pull away again, "How do you want me baby?" Her eyes flicker between his, a silent storm behind her eyes as she tried to get the courage to say what she wanted, "It's okay, you can tell me. No need to be an embarrassed sweetheart." he says, his large hand lifting to rest on the side of her face. Bambi looked down at her legs briefly then back up at him. Simon smirked, "You want me down there?" his head nodding towards her thighs. Bambi nods timidly, nibbling on her bottom lip anxiously. "Good girl," Simon praises before leaning down again to kiss her.

His hands slip down to underneath her thighs, lifting her up until her legs wrapped around his waist. Simon managed to make his way up two flights of stairs and down a hallway without looking as he kissed Bambi like she was his only supply of oxygen.

He kicked open the door to her bedroom, then kicked it shut behind him before carrying her over to her plush bed. He laid her smaller form on the pink comforter. "Can I move these?" he asks gently, motioning to the four squishmallows propped up against her pillows. Bambi nods and Simon smiles slightly, moving them over to the bay window before returning over to her. He stands over her, his fingers softly tracing along her thighs that were on either side of his legs.

"Now, I need you to do something for me, okay sweetheart?" he asks and Bambi nods. "Whatever we end up doing, if you want me to stop, or it doesn't feel good, you gotta tell me. Sound good?" he asks and she nods again. "Good," he says softly and leans over her body, his hands braced on either side of her head as he kisses her once more. Simon moans against her lips and braces one arm beside her head, the other sliding down to rub her side soothingly. His hand progressively moves down to her thigh, bunching up her dress slightly. He slowly eases the skirt of her dress up higher until her panties nearly peek out from beneath it, "This okay angel?" he asks and Bambi nods, her hands resting on his broad shoulders.

Simon pushes up her dress to her belly button, exposing her cotton panties to his eager gaze, "Cute." he mutters with a small smile as he looks at her panties. Simon leans down to place a kiss on her covered mound before standing straight again. "Can I see these pretty tits too?" he asks, gripping the fabric of her dress again as he prepared to lift it up higher. Bambi nods, "I need words sweetheart." he says with a gentle smile.

"You can take it off," Bambi says, her voice breathy with a slight tremble.

Simon leans down and gives her a gentle kiss, "Good girl." he mumbles against her lips before straightening up to take off her dress completely, “I’m gonna treat you like a princess tonight, sweetheart.” Simon says huskily as he lifts the dress up over her head. Bambi lifts her arms to help him, then rests them at her sides once the dress is off. Simon lets out a shaky breath at the sight of the delicate, lace bra that hid her breasts from view. "Such a pretty little thing," he breathes as he leans back over her body to plant kisses over the swell of her breasts. Bambi shivered, her fingers twitching slightly at her sides. "Nervous baby?" Simon asks, lifting his head slightly from between her breasts to look up at her.

"A little," she says softly.

"Then let even the playing field a bit then," Simon smiles and pulls off his own shirt so perhaps she'd feel less exposed. "How's that?" Simon asks, tossing his shirt on the floor without a second glance.

Bambi gulps, her eyes flickering over his chiseled chest and abdomen, "Good." she says shakily. Simon chuckles in amusement.

"Now, we'll take this as far as you want, or do as little as you want, okay?" he asks and Bambi nods. "Can I take this off too?" Simon asks, his fingers ghosting over the straps of her bra. Bambi nods, "Use your words, baby." he reminds her gently.

"You can take it off," she says, arching off the bed slightly so he could unclasp her bra. Simon reaches behind her and unclasps her bra with practiced ease, sliding the straps down her arms until her breasts are exposed. He folds her bra and sets it on the floor with a carefulness he didn't express with his own clothing. As Simon looks back down at Bambi, her chest heaving from anticipation and nerves, he felt his cock twitch. This little creature had the most perfect tits he's ever seen.

"Damn, little one," Simon says with a dramatic exhale as he drinks in her exposed chest. "Is it okay if I taste 'em?" Simon asks.

"Yes," Bambi asks, remembering to answer verbally this time.

"Such a good girl," Simon praises as he leans down to take her left nipple between his lips. He moans in satisfaction, his right hand coming up to squeeze its twin. "How's that feel baby?" he mumbles against her breast.

"G-Good," she says, her hands gripping the comforter beneath her. Simon smirks against her breast, moving over to her right breast to give it the same attention. He suckles the bud gently before pulling back to admire her tits again. Simon moans at the sight, his hands cupping and squeezing the soft mounds.

"Perfect fuckin' tits," he mumbles under his breath. His distraction from her breasts breaks as he looks down at her panties. "How about these, baby? Can I take these off?" he asks, nodding down towards her panties.

"Yeah," she answers, her grip on the comforter relaxing as he lets go of her breasts. He slips his fingers beneath the delicate fabric, "Lift your hips for a second sweetheart," he says and Bambi complies. He slides them down her thighs until they dangle from her ankles. Simon leans down to place a gentle kiss on her right ankle as he removes her panties, setting them on the floor with equal care he did with her bra.

Simon's focus returns to Bambi momentarily and his head falls back with a dramatic groan at the sight of her bare mound. He lifts his head again, sighing heavily as he rests his hands on her thighs. "Remind me what I want you to do angel," Simon says, looking back up at her face.

"Ask you to stop if I don't like something," she says softly.

"That's right, good girl," he says as he slowly pries her thighs open. Simon's mouth waters as he spreads her thighs, his eyes drinking in the sight of her pink, glistening folds. "Fuck," he whispers to himself, taking a moment to admire her bare sex. Bambi's cheeks turn pink and she looks away, growing flustered by his heated gaze. Simon smirks, "Don't get all shy now baby, you've got a pretty little pussy, might as well show it off." Simon leans forward, kneeling between her thighs and he plants a gentle kiss on her clit and Bambi jerks slightly.

"Have you ever had sex baby girl?" Simon asks Bambi. He knew she had a boyfriend before he was hired as her bodyguard, but he wasn't sure if they went all the way or not.

"Yeah, a few times," she says shakily. Simon nods in acknowledgment and kisses her clit again. He places a kitten lick on her clit before sucking it between his lips. He lets out a low moan at her taste, gently sucking on the sensitive bud. Bambi exhales shakily, her thighs twitching slightly. Simon keeps a gentle hold on her thighs to keep her spread open for him as he ravishes her pussy. Simon's technique was slow and unhurried, wanting to drag this out for not only her but for himself. He wanted to savor her taste and the sounds she made.

Simon's eyes flickered up to her face as he slid his tongue inside her. She gasped and her back arched slightly, a good sign. He began to pump his tongue in and out, lifting one of her thighs onto his shoulder so he could move his tongue deeper. Bambi let out a sweet moan, her face scrunching up slightly as his tongue slid deeper inside her. Her delicate hands gripped the pink comforter beneath her as Simon continued his ministrations. He watched her reactions closely, trying to see what she liked best. When she made a particularly appetizing noise, he repeated the action until her thighs trembled. He cycled through the favored motions, wanting to make sure she enjoyed every second.

Bambi panted softly, gripping the comforter tightly, her body growing tense as the familiar signs of an orgasm built within her. "Cum whenever you're ready, baby. There's no rush." Simon mumbles against her pussy, alternating between lavishing attention on her clit and fucking his tongue into her. Bambi gasps sharply and keens as she reaches her peak, her body trembling and spasming. She tilts her head to the side, trying to muffle her cries of ecstasy with the comforter. Simon smirked against her sex at her attempt to stay quiet.

He continued to lap at her clit until she jerked with each stroke of his tongue on her overly sensitive bud. Once satisfied that she was spent, he pulled away and licked his lips clean. "Good girl," Simon praises as his eyes drift over her limp form appreciatively. "Still not quite ready for me, though." he smiles and stands up to sit on the edge of the bed beside where Bambi's legs dangled off the edge.

"You're gonna do more?" Bambi asks, still slightly breathless.

"Baby, we can keep the foreplay going all night long if you want, I don't mind." he smiles, his fingers tracing over her mound. "I wanna make sure you're ready for me. But, if you don't want to have sex tonight we can just stick to this stuff." Simon says and Bambi shakes her head quickly.

"No, I want to," she says eagerly and Simon chuckles from her eagerness.

"Don't worry baby, we will if you want to." he smiles as he slides his fingers down to slip one of his thick fingers inside her, "Gotta get this pretty pussy nice and prepped first," he says with a breathy moan as he begins to slowly pump his finger in and out. Bambi lets out a slight moan, her thighs beginning to fidget, but Simon's free hand holds one open for his ministrations. "So fucking tight," he grits out as he continues to thrust his finger in and out of her sopping cunt. He relished the wet squelch from his finger moving inside her.

Bambi's eyes flutter shut as she moans sweetly, clearly enjoying herself. Seeing that she's relaxed, Simon adds a second finger. Bambi gasps and her back arches momentarily before she melts back against the bed. "Good girl, just relax and enjoy it," Simon encourages, picking up the speed of his fingers slightly. Bambi's lips part with a shaky moan as he picks up the pace. Simon smirks and crooks his fingers to find her sweet spot, he knows he found it when she arches off the bed and a high-pitched moan slips past her plump lips. Simon focuses on hitting that spot with each thrust of his fingers.

Bambi begins to squirm on the bed, her hips involuntarily rocking against his hand. "That's it, take what you need," Simon practically moans as she rolls her hips to meet his movements. He clenched his jaw, trying to stifle his own desire as he focused on making Bambi cum. But, there was a visible patch of precum on the crotch of his pants. He ignored it, focusing on the little angel he was pleasuring.

Simon smiles to himself triumphantly as her pussy begins to squeeze around his fingers and she white knuckles the comforter. Simon adjusts his hand so he could circle her clit without pausing his ministrations. Bambi gasps, her face scrunching up in pleasure. She tilts her head again, trying to hide her moans with the comforter. Simon's free hand moves to tilt her head straight again, "None of that little one, let me hear you." he says gently but firmly, and she complies.

Simon watches her face intently, drinking in every micro-expression as she cums. She lets out a desperate wail, her body convulsing and thighs squeezing around his hand as she cums. Simon's free hand quickly moves to grip one of her thighs, forcing her legs apart again. He slows the pace of his fingers, prolonging her orgasm. Once her inner muscles begin to relax and her breathing slows he withdraws his fingers, bringing them up to his lips to suck them clean.

"How are you feeling baby? Still good?" he asks and Bambi nods mindlessly, her eyes shut in bliss. Simon chuckles, amused by her blissed-out expression. He rubs her thighs soothingly as she comes back to herself. When she finally opens her eyes again Simon smiles down at her, "Do you want more? Or was that enough for tonight?"

"I want more," Bambi says quickly and Simon laughs at her speedy response.

"Okay, sweetheart," he chuckles and reaches down to work on his belt buckle. He pulls off his belt, tossing it on the floor before moving to unbutton his pants. Bambi watches his every movement, her body buzzing in anticipation. She had been dying to see what he was hiding beneath those cargo pants.

Simon unzips his pants and pulls them down, then his briefs. Bambi's eyes widen slightly as his large cock springs free and bobs against his stomach. The tip was red and angry, dripping precum. After Simon tosses his pants on his forming pile of clothing he looks over at Bambi, he chuckles at the look on her face. "Feeling a bit giddy are we?" Bambi's eyes flicker up to his face and she looks away shyly, feeling caught. "Don't be shy baby," he smiles gently, grasping her chin to turn her face back to his, "You can look at it as much as you want. It's all yours for the night, and as many nights as you want after."

Bambi timidly peeks down again before looking back up at Simon. Simon smiles to himself but doesn't comment on her quick glance as he moves to stand between her spread legs. He grabs her thighs in his large hands, guiding them to wrap around his torso as he stands before her. Bambi complies, locking her ankles together behind his back. Simon gives his cock a few slow strokes, spreading the precum over his shaft.

"Still want to do this baby?" Simon checks and Bambi nods, "What did I say?" Simon asks, his voice growing firm.

"To use my words," she says timidly. Simon raises an eyebrow, "I still want to." she says and he nods in approval.

"Good girl," he says and drags the head of his cock through her slick folds, coating himself in her juices. Bambi shivers each time his cock slides over her clit. His free hand rests on her belly as he positions himself at her entrance. He inches the head of his cock in first and Bambi tenses, panting softly. Simon moans lowly from the tightness of her pussy. He starts with shallow thrusts, stretching her open. Bambi responds eagerly to his movements, her eyes fluttering shut and lips parting. Taking it as a good sign, Simon pushes deeper until half of his cock is inside her, repeating the slow thrusts to ease her open for him.

Bambi's hands grip the comforter for the nth time tonight. She bites her bottom lip, stifling her moans.

"What did I say, baby?" Simon asks, halting his movements. Bambi's eyes fly open, "Don't be quiet, I want to hear you." he says firmly and she nods in response. Seemingly satisfied with her response, Simon resumes the slow roll of his hips until he bottoms out inside her. He groans in satisfaction as his balls press against her ass, "Fucking hell," he moans, remaining still for a moment to savor the sensation of her warm walls gripping him. Lost in his own euphoria, Simon snaps out of his cloudy haze as Bambi begins to squirm. "S'okay baby, I'll give you what you need," he says as he begins to thrust slow and deep, pulling out until only the tip remains before pushing back in.

Simon's eyes roll into his head as he begins to thrust again, letting out a gravelly moan. "Such a perfect little cunt," he breathes, "Gonna get addicted to you sweetheart," he pants as he picks up speed slightly. Bambi responds beautifully, her mouth dropping open as she lets out sounds of delight with each snap of his hips, "That's it, make all the noise you want," Simon encourages breathlessly, his hips smacking against the underside of her thighs with each thrust.

Bambi’s tits jiggled enticingly with each thrust, only adding to Simon's arousal. Simon lays over her, his arms braced on either side of his head as he ruts into her. Simon let out a shaky moan, tucking his face into the crook of her neck. She lifted her hands to rest them on the back of his neck, spreading her thighs wider to give him easier access.

“Good girl,” he grunts out as she spreads her legs wider. He leans back again slightly to get better momentum as he fucks her. Bambi’s eyes drank in the sight of him. His mouth was dropped open, his forehead beaded with sweat as he grunted and moaned with each movement he made. She couldn’t tell who was enjoying this more, him or her. His abs rippled with each snap of his hips, and Bambi couldn’t resist the urge to trace her fingers over the muscles.

Simon let out a low loan as her fingers danced over his hard abdomen and he increased his pace, fucking her with renewed vigor. “That’s it, touch Daddy wherever you want.” He grunts out. Bambi whimpers from the dominant title, surprised by how much she enjoyed it. Simon smirked, “Yeah? You like that?” He asks and she nods mindlessly. Simon chuckled and smacks her hip lightly, “Be a good girl and cum for Daddy. Make me proud.” Simon lets out something that resembles a whimper as Bambi’s pussy began to tighten around him. “Fuck,” he gasps, “Sweetheart, you gotta cum now before I blow my load inside you.” He warns, a slight tremble in his voice.

As if on cue, Bambi’s cunt clamps around his cock and she convulses wildly on the bed. “Oh shit,” Simon moans, his eyes rolling back at her already tight cunt becoming impossibly tighter, “T-That’s it, good girl,” he praises, his voice trembling as he fucks her through her orgasm. Bambi mewled and whined, her hands clawing at his arms as she rode out the waves of pleasure crashing through her. “Oh, fuck,” Simon gasps, “Gonna cum,” he pants, quickly pulling out of her messy cunt and stroking his cock rapidly. He lets out a low groan as he cums, thick ropes of his seed coating her stomach. Simon shudders and moans, bracing himself on one arm as he falls forward so he doesn't collapse on her as he rides out his high.

Simon pants, letting go of his cock as his orgasm subsides, “Holy fucking shit sweetheart,” he says, his chest heaving. Simon sighs shakily and tilts his head down to give Bambi a slow, almost thankful kiss, “That was damn good.” he sighs contently. “How about you? You still feelin’ good?” he asks breathily.

Bambi nods, “Yeah, really good.” she says, equally winded.

Simon gives Bambi another lingering kiss, “Let's get you cleaned up sweet girl.”

if you have any fic requests including the people on my masterlist please comment them below or on my masterlist!! (check here: about my blog  to see what things i'm not comfortable with in regards to requests <3)

[delirious-donna]

Second Chances Are Not Promised [Part Nine]

story summary: Your best friend lets you crash at her place over the spring break since you have nowhere else to go. Little did you know that it isn't actually her place. Instead, it belongs to a tall (grumpy) hot guy who finds you in his apartment–her brother.

chapter summary: A few days have passed since you chose to run from Kento rather than face a reality where he rejected your advances. You hate to admit that you miss him, but does he feel the same way and would you ever find out even if he did?

pairing: Nanami Kento x female reader

warnings: angst, emotionally charged argument, NSFW throughout, I don't want to spoil the story too much and I don't think there is any triggering content but the NSFW is there for a reason

Part Eight | Series Masterlist | Part Ten

The past few days had been some of your worst. Torn between annoyance at being this emotionally distraught at the actions of a stupid, coward of a man and the genuine hurt that penetrated your heart at the thought of him. Leaving had been a necessity, and although it meant some strategic couch surfing until you were finally able to return to your cozy little student apartment, it was the lesser of two evils.  

The idea of remaining in Kento’s apartment after his rejection turned your stomach. To be faced with him knowing that there was an attraction between you, that it wasn’t all some torrid fantasy in your head, and still he chose to turn away from it, would be too damaging. The beginning of tears blurred your vision whilst you thought about it, of those restless hours trapped inside the room which smelled like him resurfaced the agonies that had not yet begun to heal. 

Over and over, you chastised yourself for allowing another person to whittle you down to your very core components, and with what you considered to be clearly little compassion for the results, but the blame should not fall upon your shoulders. Nanami Kento was a man of logic and reasoning, you had come to learn this and that had ultimately been the downfall. He allowed the fear of things not working out for the best to ruin any chance of ever finding out. It was his fault, that much was true. 

Stupid man… 

It would be easier if you could hate him. If you could shield your heart with the burn of fury and hatred. No matter how hard you tried to convince yourself, softer memories invaded your mind to override the unpleasant ones. The Chinese takeout and Kento’s rigid posture before he succumbed to your invitation to join you. The visit to the bar and the conversation that flowed as easily as the drinks. The museum trip and the adorable couple that had given unsolicited advice in such a cute way you couldn’t be mad. The movie night… the faint dream-like memory of a kiss against your forehead and distantly murmured words that left you with a dopey smile and a fluttering in your chest. 

You still caught whiffs of his scent despite having washed all the clothing from your stay as soon as you could. The lingering smell of expensive coffee beans that you could never afford, wafts of leather and earthy notes that you couldn’t give a name to, had a way of invading your nose even in the dead of night when your body begged for sleep, but your brain refused the respite. Along with how you could perfectly recall the taste of him when his tongue swept into your mouth, it was torture—a torture of your own making. 

Another night, another failed attempt at sleeping more than in short fits and starts. None of it was restful either, dreams assailing you from the mundane to the wildly vivid. You grabbed up your phone and groaned at several messages and a missed call on the screen. Since your return, you hadn’t spoken to Karin and because she wasn’t due to return to school until the day after next, you weren’t even sure if she knew you were home. Would Kento have called her? Did he care enough to let her know you’d ran? 

Pulling the covers over your head, you sighed and dropped your phone onto the mattress. There was no desire to reply to the messages, none of which had come from Karin, which made you assume that Kento hadn’t informed her of what transpired. Your eyelids drooped low, the pull of sleep tugging at you like the dark tendrils of water trying to drag a poor victim to their lair to remain eternally. You put up no resistance, letting yourself be submerged until only darkness filled your mind. 

~ 

The noise of muted conversations, tinkling laughter that sounded far from genuine and the constant drone of air conditioning drowned out Kento’s thoughts. It was amazing to think that not long ago he longed to be here, to return to the luxury of his corner office and the accounts he knew like the back of his hand. Now, he hated it.  

There was no comfort to be found in the continuous noise of the printers, the clipped footsteps of assistants in the most uncomfortable looking high heeled shoes he had ever seen and the forced conversation he had to endure from his colleagues. In truth, Kento had no interest in playing the games he was accustomed to. Office politics no longer felt compelling or exciting.

He felt… done. Done with the routine, the faked smiles and the forced conversations. “How’s the wife and kids? Did you get up to much over the weekend? When are you going to settle down, Kento? Surely, you’ve got a different girl in your bed every night that you could choose from.” He hated it and it was your fault.

Kento had lost count of the times his phone found its way into his palm, his sister’s contact info blaring like a beacon on the screen with his thumb poised over the call button. Where were you? Were you okay? Those questions plagued him day in day out, and only his pig-headed stubbornness kept the answers from his grasp. Abruptly, he slammed his pen atop the desk. It bounced from the force of the impact and shot off the edge to roll beneath a cabinet, a reprieve from his anger.

Once more, the memory of your petal soft lips assailed him. The taste of you manifested in his mouth and he let his eyes slide shut as he slumped back in his chair. His cock throbbed behind the tight hold of his trousers, and no amount of adjusting and readjusting would alleviate the gut-wrenching ache that resided within him. He remembered how your fingers felt moving closer to the hairs at his neck and how he…

The memory couldn’t remain pleasant, though he longed for it to take a different path. He wanted to know what it would feel like to have your nails scratch against his scalp. He wanted to find out if you would tug his hair or play with it gently. What might it be like if his hold of your waist had not been so timid, if he had caressed your sides and kneaded at your hips how he really wanted to. Would you have let him lead you to his bed to tumble amongst the sheets? Would you cry out his name when he tasted you for the first time? Kento was panting like a dog cruelly trapped in a car on a summer day.

A knock on the glass wall of his office shook him from his twisted fantasies. He jolted upright to see the nefarious grin of a rival colleague who clearly assumed he was napping on the job, not aware of how close Kento had been to taking his dick out behind the cover of his desk and fisting himself furiously to endure a painful orgasm that would not sate the yearning he was at the mercy of. Instead, he scowled at the man with hot, seething hatred written across his face. The man paled and quickly walked away.

“That’s right. Run back to your office. Email your little cohorts and begin my assassination,” he hissed, fury bubbling under his skin and making him want to scratch at his arms until they bled.

The door slammed behind him as he made for the exit, head bowed over his phone until he raised it to his ear whilst taking the stairs two at a time to reach the parking lot. Each shrill ring cut his nerves to the quick until at last, she answered, and he could finally breathe again.

“Karin? Don’t talk just listen…”

~

A knock sounded at your front door, quiet and innocuous, it wasn’t enough for you to warrant moving from the couch. Your movie was more important even though you weren’t paying it the slightest bit of attention either. A moment passed in which you assumed your visitor, whoever they were, had gone away, but no. Once more a knock sounded, and this time it was firmer. The person’s knuckles rapping loudly against the cheap wood veneer.

Annoyed, you grabbed up the remote control and increased the volume in what you hoped was an obvious sign that you didn’t wish to be disturbed. There were only a few people it possibly could be and none of them needed to see you in your current state of moping.

However, the knocking continued and this time it was positively furious. The entire frame of the door vibrated from the pounding fist hammering against it. Now you were curious, or perhaps it was fear that had you turning to glance at the door which shook with yet another blow.

Maybe it was the landlord or the police, but wouldn’t they have called out to announce themselves? Fuck, what if it was someone hurt or in need of help and you were wilfully ignoring them. The Good Samaritan in you would be silenced for only so long. It only took a few hurried steps to reach the trembling wood, your hands reaching out to brace against the wall so you could glance through the peephole, and what you saw made the air in your lungs seize completely.

Kento.

It was Kento pounding on your door and looking as determined as you had ever seen him. On the other side of the door, he too froze in place, and you clapped a hand over your traitorous mouth. He had heard your gasp of alarm. Your heart physically ached from how violently it thrashed inside your chest, knees wobbly from working to keep you on your feet.

“I know you’re in there, I heard you gasp. Can you let me in? I’d like to… talk. Please?”

Hot tears trickled down your cheeks and you angrily swiped them away. The sound of your name from his lips, so soft and tentative, only worsened the angry twist of your heart and stomach. You weren’t sure how long passed, but clearly, it was enough to have him call out again, a resigned sigh evident in his intonation.

“I’d really rather have this conversation more privately,” he muttered, stepping as close to the door as he could. “If… shit… if you’re worried about being alone with—”

Kento jumped back as the door swung wide open, his alarm at the suddenness made him blink and when he found composure… there you were. The corners of his lips twitched with the desire to beam at you. His shoulders lost a little of the tension he had been carrying all this time, and he let out an exhale that lightened his load just the tiniest bit. Your expression was one of fury but even that couldn’t dissuade the hit of dopamine that coursed through his blood at seeing you after these days apart.

“Get in here,” you yelled, stepping aside to allow him access to your apartment before slamming the door shut with a rattling echo shaking the whole room. “You think I’m afraid? Seems like you’re still an idiot.”

You might harbour the desire to wring this man’s neck, but not once had you ever felt afraid of him, not for a single second. Not even when he had burst in on you in his bath, naked and vulnerable. The mortification on his face had dissolved any concern for your safety in an instant. Wow. That moment felt so long ago now, but in reality, not that much time had passed.

Kento shrugged, unknowing what else to do and at last you took him in.

So, this was him suited and booted. He looked good, annoyingly handsome, and you could kick yourself for thinking that. This was the outer shell of the man you had met on that first fateful day; his shirt was crisply pressed and a surprising navy blue with neat tan trousers showing sharp creases down the legs, his expensive timepiece adorned his wrist and the brown polished Oxfords on his feet managed to shine in the dinghy low light of your living room. There was no jacket in sight, though you knew instinctively that one should reside over the width of his broad shoulders, and then you noticed it. A garish yellow splattered tie decorated the length of his sternum. It should have thrown his entire image, but somehow it didn’t.

Your nose wrinkled at the strange tie, head canting to the side and if you didn’t know any better, you might have said that this was the real Kento shining through the gloom of the mundane. There, at the heart of him, resided a man who didn’t want to fully abide by the standards laid out for all to adhere to. A small spark of a rebellious spirit weathered by cupped hands against the cruel winds of corporate culture. It would’ve made you laugh if you weren’t certain sobs were more likely to emerge than laughter.

“Aren’t you going to ask how I found you?”

It was your turn to shrug, already knowing the only possible answer. “Karin,” you answered bluntly. “I thought you were the one that disliked pointless questions.”

He winced at your cool tone, eyes falling from your less than impressed expression to bore holes through the floor. He deserved your ire—your anger and vexations—what he couldn’t stand was your indifference. The impact hit far harder, ice settling over his heart when he hesitantly gazed at the woman, he so ruthlessly scorned.

To Kento, you seemed tired. Dark circles underlined your dull eyes, not a single sparkle, of which he knew resided within them, remained. This was his doing… Despite that being the case, he felt the brush of butterfly wings in his stomach, soft and heartfelt. You were beautiful. So beautiful, and he knew this would be the last chance he’d ever get to make this right. To prove that he knew of the mistakes he had made and promise never to be so stupid ever again.

“I came to apologise,” he offered, slowly stepping closer only to see you take the same step back, much to dismay.

“I don’t accept. You can leave now.”

He ran a hand through his hair, and you followed the bounce of the front strands that refused to return to their original position. He was ruffled and hating every second of it. You were glad of his discomfort, at least he now felt an ounce of what you did.

Kento sighed. “I won’t stay if you really wish me to leave, but I’d prefer if you’d hear me out at least.”

“What could you possibly have to say? You rejected me, Kento. You fucking kissed me then shoved me away. There is nothing more to add.” You shot your reply like the bullets of a machine gun, fast and deadly.

“I was trying to protect—”

You interjected before he could finish, pacing back and forth like a caged predator who belonged in the wild, not on display like this. “Don’t you dare say it was to protect me. Don’t you dare assume that you know what is best for me! I make my own decisions in life, and no man is going to step in and change that.”

He raised his hands in surrender, eyes fixed into the depths of the floor and the passage of your feet.

“Protect us both… maybe more so me than you. I-I hate myself for only considered the implications that affected me,” he admitted quietly, shame burning in his gut. “We’re so different but also alike. I can see myself in you at that age and remember the dreams I had, and how they all revolved around success and money. I was driven just like you are, but you’re better than me. So much better and I don’t think you even realise it.”

Your pacing slowed as you listened, the pounding in your ears still very much present but growing quiet so you could hear the words being said and the unspoken ones too—for there were many.

“I admire your strength and determination, how you refuse to let anything, or anyone stand in the way of your happiness. You don’t let expectations change who you are. You were right when you called me jaded, because I am—or I was. Happiness was never a primary focus and it’s only now that I’m understanding what a fundamental mistake that was.”

“You sound like the male lead in those lovey-dovey romcoms you hate so much.”

His face split wide with his first smile in days. You watched in alarm when he bent over to clutch his stomach, until laughter poured from him, and the unabashed honesty of the noise made you glance away before you too were caught up in it. You weren’t ready to show him that side of you again.

“I guess I do, and I told you that I don’t hate them all.” He paused to slowly raise his arm, fingertips daring to brush against the back of your arm and when you didn’t pull away, down to your knuckles. “I’ve missed you.”

The shield around your heart was straining against the emotional onslaught. He sounded so genuine, and you reminded yourself that not once had he said anything that he didn’t mean, even when those things hurt. You took your hand back and hugged your arms around your middle.

“Shouldn’t you be at work?” You asked, pointedly ignoring his last remark and how badly you wanted to reiterate it back to him. “You’re certainly dressed for the office, except for that tie. Not sure if I love or loathe it.”

“I should be at work, but I walked out.” Kento shrugged as if that was the most obvious and rational thing he could say. “As for the tie…” He smiled down fondly, picking up the yellow material and letting it fall back against his chest. “I’ve always liked it. Makes me stand out against the other suits in the room.”

You couldn’t deny that.

Uncertain how else to further the conversation, or if you should try at all, you shuffled your feet against the floor before finally resigning to the wants of your heart. “You want a coffee?”

“Does that mean you’re not kicking me out?”

“It means… do you want a coffee?”

“I’d love a coffee.”

He followed you into the small kitchen, eyes taking in his surroundings for the first time and what he saw was a modest student apartment, much like the one he had lived in, but you had imprinted all over it. There were pieces of art hanging on the walls, leafy green plants on nearly every windowsill, cushions and blankets draped haphazardly over the cheap looking couch and little photos and mementos stuck to the fridge door and some cupboards.

Your face stood out in the ones that caught his eye, bright smiles that radiated joy and he even spied Karin in a few. The two of you were almost worlds apart but clearly cared for one another. He hoped that his intrusion into your life wouldn’t spoil that friendship. Although he was getting ahead of himself. One cup of coffee did not mean you were willing to give him another chance, and he hadn’t even asked yet.

“I’ve only got instant, didn’t know I’d be visited by a coffee connoisseur today,” you grumbled whilst finding two mismatched mugs.

He had to fight not wrinkle his nose and it did not go unnoticed, your eyebrow rising in a challenge to either put up or shut up. Wisely, he chose the latter, only shrugging in acceptance and gratefully taking the steaming mug when offered.

“You know, I’ve made your morning coffee every day since you left. It didn’t feel right only pouring one cup.”

What was this man doing to you? He was killing you with these heartfelt admissions in such quick succession, that’s what he was doing to you. The urge to cry tightened your throat, because for all your seething over what had happened, you had missed him. It was his voice you heard in the dead of night, his scent that tormented you when you least expected it, and his hazel eyes with warm caramel flecks that crinkled happily when you were lost in thought.

“Mm.” You didn’t know what else you could say, and you weren’t ready to admit that you felt the same way. Leaning back against the kitchen counter, you took a small sip of the cheap instant coffee and masked your grimace behind the rim of the mug before setting it down.

Kento took the few steps to put himself directly in front of you and you were frozen, staring right ahead into the centre of his chest. You didn’t dare to lift your gaze from the ridiculous yellow splattered tie, you couldn’t. He was so close that you could feel the heat from his body, it radiated outwards and teased at you like wandering tendrils. Your heart was thundering, so much so that you missed his arm moving as you worked to control yourself. His fingers gently lodged beneath your chin, slowly bringing your face upwards to meet his eyes, and it was a mistake.

Those intelligent eyes were sorrowful, and it thickened the lump lodged in your throat. It felt like time was suspended whilst he grazed his fingertips along your jaw and over your cheek until he was cupping your face so gently that you nearly wept on the spot. You let him explore the soft apple of your cheek, allowed him to run his thumb beneath your eye and felt the moisture of tears you weren’t aware you had shed stain the swirling thumbprint. He was so close and yet not close enough.

Caught between the urge to shove him away and drag him close, instead, you did nothing. You refused to put yourself in another vulnerable situation with him, if he wanted something then he would lead the charge and take what he sought. You wouldn’t be made a fool of again. You wouldn’t—

His lips found yours—tentative and slow. Lost in your thoughts you hadn’t noticed when he leant in to close that final gap. Your gasp was swallowed whole, washed away by the sweetest kisses that were nothing like the one you shared in his apartment. Angry passion fuelled that kiss, but not this one. It was a kiss reserved for deeper emotions, dare you say, the first budding blooms of love. There was an apology at its roots, and you accepted with your reciprocation.

It was like coming home, nothing else felt like this, and before you knew it, your arms were around his neck. This time, when you moved to delve your fingers through his lush head of hair, he didn’t stop you. Kento groaned against your mouth at the sensation, your nails gently scratching along his scalp in answer to a question he had long wanted to ask. You melted against his body; chest tightly pressed to his whilst you sobbed through a moment of clarity.

You were the one to pull back this time, a hand leveraged against his shoulder, but it was different to when he stopped you. Your finger sunk into the stiff material of his shirt, your way of not letting him escape, because this wasn’t over. “Kento… I need to know.”

“I want you. I have wanted you for longer than I realised. I hate that I hurt you to understand any of that. It will never happen again. I’m sorry… I will repeat that as many times as you need to hear it, but I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself.”

The words poured from him like a fountain. It was the most candidly you had heard him speak, and the gravity of that wasn’t lost on you. Kento was opening the door for you. He was welcoming you into his inner sanctum and hiding nothing from you. There were no veils in place to hide shadowy recesses, only pure light that defeated every phantom doubt there could possibly be. It made you smile, watery from unshed tears but you didn’t cry, you laughed.

Kento was a statue as he waited for your answer, for something to tell him if he had won his second and final chance. He was too scared to move, every muscle locked into place and when you laughed, he knew. Those beautiful eyes turned up to him with fresh tears sparkling but happy. The sparkle was back, and he could drown in their depths if you’d only let him. He let out the breath he’d been holding, and his head bowed forward until his forehead rested against the gentle slope of your shoulder. The sound of laughter seemed to turn up the colours in his world, everything seemed far brighter, and he crushed you to him.

“Words are pretty and all, but if you really want me like you claim…” you mused whilst your arms weaved beneath his so your hands could trail the length of his spine with deliberate slowness. “… show me.”

He huffed a laugh whilst your unique scent tickled his nose. You were always challenging him, whether in small inconspicuous ways or in monumental ways that forced him to look inwardly and reassess his priorities. This was nothing new, and for the first time, he wanted nothing more than to rise to this particular challenge.

“With pleasure.” Kento turned his head, planting a series of wet kisses to your neck and savouring the stutter of your breathing. Your fingers stilled from where they were teasing near the space occupied by his belt, and he seized the chance to let his lips curl away from teeth. He licked a strip over your frantic pulse before sinking his teeth into you.

Your body shuddered, held up only by the support of the counter and Kento’s grip on you. The pain was short-lived as it gave way to pleasure, careful lips kissed away the lingering hurt and you were fast developing a second heartbeat between your legs. He was acting on instinct, that was the only explanation, and you wondered how far those instincts would take him. You wanted him to drive this, to do as requested and show you how much he wanted you, but that didn’t mean you were going to be some shrinking violet. Pulling him into a bruising kiss, you smiled into the depths of his mouth at the answering grunt from his chest.

~

A trail of clothes led from the kitchen to your bedroom, the door kicked shut by a polished shoe right before it was yanked off and left in a heap with socks and trousers. Your nimble fingers worked free the buttons of his shirt, loosened his tie enough to tug it over head just as he stripped you out of the sweatshirt that hung far too loosely on your body. Instead of discarding the yellow tie, you looped it over your head and let it hang between your breasts. Framed by lace and sensitive skin that was singing from his hurried touch, you silently thanked all that would listen for the decision to wear a bra at all, let alone the expensive one that was usually reserved for intimate encounters. How serendipitous of you…

Kento stopped in his tracks, completely overcome with the sight of you. Perfect skin yet unmarked by his touch, soft curves and his tie around your throat. This was better than any wet dream, far more hedonistic than the lewd thoughts that crept into his brain when he fisted himself in the lonely hours of the night. This was reality, and what could be better than that?

“You’re so beautiful. You’ve no idea how many times I wondered what this might be like… and nothing compares to this,” he enthused, taking your hand and leading it to the obvious bulge tenting his underwear.

He groaned when you curled your fingers around his erection through the fabric, hips bucking forward involuntarily. Grinning like the cat who got the cream, you moved higher to hook those same fingers into the waistband and tugged him close so you could feel his cock twitch against you.

Tumbling onto messy sheets followed easily, amidst breathless kisses and explorative hands. Everything was new and exciting, there seemed to be no inch of your exposed skin left untouched and that only left what was still covered. Kento’s breath fanned hot and heavy over the lace of bra, enough to tighten your nipples. Your spine arched from the bed when he licked over the cup and wet you with his saliva, his hand slipping to the small of your back to keep you there so that when his teeth nipped at you, you could only squirm.

He repeated the action on the other side, leaving you panting and desperate for friction. The palm at your spine wandered to the clasp of your bra and he paused, offering you eyes full of sincerity. “May I?”

Your heart seized in your chest. Where had you found this man? You’d never know a man to get you into bed and down to your underwear and still ask for permission to proceed. Any lingering thought that this might be a one off to scratch the itch that had buried deep beneath your skin disintegrated in an instant. There wasn’t a future you envisaged where you would give him up, not without a fight.

Cupping his face in both hands, you kissed him and whispered. “Touch me like nobody else does.”

A wet path trailed from your clavicle to right below your belly button, little bruises blooming in places and the indentation of fingertips in others. Kento looked like a God from his position between your thighs, his chin shiny from the arousal he coaxed from you using his surprisingly silver tongue. Blond tousled hair and ruddy cheeks, swollen lips and brown irises almost completely swallowed by midnight pupils. Sweat dripped from your temples whilst you floated back down to Earth, your fingers tangled in his hair once more and you felt him lean into the touch before crawling over you.

“Sweeter than honey…”

Your skin flushed hotter—not a feat you thought possible—at his words, followed by the taste of yourself on his tender lips. His tongue pushed deeper and deposited the tantalising tang directly onto your tastebuds. Your body cradled him; legs wound tight around his hips to indulge in his guttural groans when his cock moved through your swollen folds.

Precum and the mess he’d made of you hastened his movements, hips rutting downwards whilst he captured your hands and entwined your fingers at either side of your head. The velvet glide of his cock through your sex stole the air from your lungs, the tip teasingly torturing your already abused clit. His jaw was set in firm determination, and you huffed at the expression. There was no way this was ending without him fucking you, whether he realised or not.

“Kento… please.”

His eyes flew skyward, barely held restraint fraying with each subsequent mewl of want. He squeezed your fingers when you rocked your hips and shifted the position in an attempt to nudge him towards your entrance. Hearing you speak his name would always be his undoing, it had been like that since the very first time you addressed him as Kento. It had never sounded better than from your lips, and he shuddered at the inflection, at the desire written openly across your features. You didn’t hide from him, didn’t obscure your true feelings behind a mask. He wanted to return that, and whilst he might be new to be using so open, there was no better time to start.

“I’m scared,” he admitted.

You paused, blinking your eyes open to watch him above you. “Of what?”

“That… that if I cross this final line, I’ll never let you go. You deserve everything, and what if I can’t give you that?”

“Keep me forever, Kento. You don’t need to cross this line for me to know that I want to be by your side whilst you figure your life from here out. I want to be a part of it. Let me look after your heart and you’ll have given me everything I could ever ask for.”

He loved you. He knew it in the very centre of his soul, but there would be time for that declaration. Right now, wasn’t the time. “Now who sounds like they’re in a lovey-dovey romcom?” He teased, nudging your nose with his whilst his heart felt lighter than it had in forever.

You bit at his bottom lip, feigning a growl of annoyance whilst your eyes narrowed on him and the brilliant smile he gave you. Without warning, he moved and all at once he was exactly where he needed to be. Inch by slow inch, he eased into your body. You swore through the exquisite stretch, only silenced by his mouth which descended upon you hungrily.

It had been a while since you last had someone in bed with you, and despite being worked open by skilful fingers and tongue, it was still a snug fit. When he bottomed out, the coarse golden hairs at his pelvis rubbed at you with that delicious friction and stimulation, and you sighed in contentment. The fullness was welcome, and he fit you like a glove, like he was meant to have found his home here by now.

“O-okay?” He asked with a shake in his voice, and you nodded enthusiastically. The pace he set was slow, bone deep and so heartfelt that it seemed like your body merged with his. Kento spread your thighs further apart with his knees. He made every thrust count, hips angled to massage the sweet spot he’d discovered earlier.

You were clenched around him so hard that he swore he’d cum in record time, in fact, he was still astonished not to have spilled in his shorts when your first orgasm had wet his face. It was a moment he was likely to never forget and would be subject to many a dirty thought in years to come. He continued to be amazed at how expressive you were, and seemingly that didn’t end in the bedroom. It was refreshing. No one was like you, but that was okay because he had found you and even though he messed up, you were better than he ever could be. So sweet and joyful. You accepted him, flaws and all, and only offered him a helping hand.

Kento was lost in the sensation of being joined with you. His heart beat in time with yours, chests flush together whilst he took you higher and higher to completion. The orgasm approaching felt different to any before, it spread throughout his body like warm honey, and he glanced down at you in panic that he would find his end before you did.

“Fuck… there. Right there! Don’t stop… oh god, I’m gonna—Ken!”

His stomach dropped into his toes, the strength in his arms near failing him when you broke apart to milk him with sweet sucking pulls that he had never experienced before. The incessant pulsing was too much to deny, and he pulled out with a fierce growl that forced your eyes to snap wide. Kento sat back on his haunches, hand ready to wrap around his aching dick to pump the final few times and spill his seed, but he hadn’t counted on you leaning up on an elbow to reach him first. Your hot touch jolted electricity down his spine and the wet glide of his foreskin had barely reached down to the base before he was shooting his load across your quivering belly and thighs.

He moaned unabashedly and the sound thrilled you right down to your already overstimulated core. Both your eyes and his fixed on the sticky pool he was creating on your skin. His cheeks turned a burning red at the continuing spurts of cum that seemed to never want to end, until at last he was drained completely.

A moment of silence fell, only disturbed by your combined heavy breathing. Kento couldn’t find it in him to look you in the eye, a sense of embarrassment settling on his shoulders at the sheer mess he’d made. Clearly, he didn’t understand that you adored the painting he’d created. He was the paint, and you were the canvas. You scooped your finger through the creamy paint, tracing designs with his essence.

“I… I don’t know what to say now,” he said softly.

Your head canted, humming quietly whilst beckoning him to you with two grabby hands and not relenting until he flopped beside you. His face buried into the crook of your neck, forcing you to dig it out with laughter bubbling in your throat. Suddenly he was shy… adorable.

“Why say anything at all? We have all the time in the world for words. Let’s just enjoy the moment.”

He kissed your bare shoulder, reaching over you to his discarded shirt and using that to clean your stomach so he could cuddle you into his arms comfortably. You were right, there wasn’t much needed to be said right now, except he did have one question… “Did I show you?”

Throwing a leg over his hips and nuzzling his nose with yours, you smiled and gave a nod. “More than I expected. Although… next time, finish inside.”

Kento nearly choked on his saliva which only made you laugh more. His neck and ears burned white-hot, and you pretended not to notice whilst he looked everywhere but at you. “I’ll—uh—I’ll bear that in mind.”

“Mm, good because we have a lot of time to make up for and I intend to keep you in this bed until your legs give out.”

“You always have to have the last word, don’t you?” he teased with a bark of laughter.

“Yep. So, I suggest you get used to it, love.”

[khaylin27]

But Daddy I Love Him

pairing: fernando alonso x stroll reader; lance stroll x sister reader

series: the tortured poets department

synopsis: y/n stroll rebels against her controlling family and falls in love with a certain spaniard.

warnings: some cuss words; toxic family; age gap 42 and 25

author's note: I included some characters from my other fics from this series, Y/N Piastri-Norris and Y/N Wolff. Hope y'all like it!

I forget how the West was won I forget if this was ever fun I just learned these people only raise you to cage you

It was fun traveling around the world with your dad and brother. Your father had raised you and your brother in F1. But once Lance got his big shot in F1, you noticed that your father only raised you to cage you.

When Fernando, the older Spaniard, joined the team, he noticed the way the team and your family would cage you from anything relating the F1. They just wanted you to be there and sit pretty supporting your brother.

You were watching the team work on repairs to Fernando's car. The mechanics were doing stuff wrong but you didn't want to make comments. Your father would get mad if he found out you made comments on the livery instead of doing your actual job of 'sitting still and looking pretty.'

Fernando walks to the garages to see how the progress is going. He notices you watching the mechanics working on his car. He knew you had something to say by the way you looked. "Y/N, any input on the car?" He knew what your situation was with your father and brother, but didn't want to comment on it. Technically it was none of his business since your father was his employer. "I know you have something to say."

You then explain to Fernando and the mechanics about the problems the mechanics were ignoring. Fernando watches you in awe as you explain. "This car needs to be in top shape if you want him to win this weekend." You smile at Fernando and he smiles back at you.

Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best Clutching their pearls, sighing "What a mess" I just learned these people try and save you cause they hate you

It was the Chinese Grand Prix, you and your sister plus her husband were dressed in your Sunday best. If you couldn't race in F1 at least you were going to the paddock in your best looks.

Lance had made contact with Daniel during the safety car period. Scotty, Chloe's husband, was a mess since he's friends with Daniel. "This is a mess," Scotty tells Chloe stressed out about the collision. "I need to go to RB to check if he's okay." Chloe nods an okay before Scotty leaves.

Once the cars went back to the garage, you run in there to check if Lance is okay. Before you can get into the garage, security had politely told you it was a restricted area.

"What do you mean restricted area? I'm family and part of the Aston Martin team." You explain to security.

"Sorry Ms. Stroll but direct orders from your family that you can't come into the garage anymore." Now you were furious. "Who the hell from my family would say that?"

"Your father and brother." You turn around and see that Fernando was standing right there. "Let her come in. She's my guest."

"Are you sure sir?" The security guard asks. Fernando nods yes and the security guard sighs before he lets you in.

"Why would my father and brother do that?" You asked Fernando pissed off of what happened earlier.

"I don't know why they would do that. All I know is these people try and save you cause they hate you." You stop on your tracks confused at what Fernando was saying. You ask Fernando what he meant by that. "Your father says he doesn't want you to race in F1 because he's trying to save you but it's because he knows you're a better driver than Lance. I've seen how you drive in the car and the statistics don't lie Y/N."

They slammed the door on my whole world The one thing I wanted

You were too shocked to even speak. Your father sabotaged your whole F1 career just for Lance.

Before you could even speak, Lance runs up to you and Fernando. "Y/N what are you doing here? Security isn't supposed to let you in."

From there you got angry at your brother so you yell at him. "Yeah security didn't let me because of you and father. You two are assholes."

"Woah Y/N calm down let's not make a scene."

"Make a scene! Lance we've raced together ever since we were little. My dream has always been to be in F1. Father slammed the door on my whole world because you're not a better driver than me." You yell out explaining to Lance.

Fernando notices all the media taking photos of the argument. "Y/N we should go to my paddock room. The race is about to resume." You nod yes to Fernando before saying one last time to Lance.

"I'm tired of watching you race Lance. Wasting a seat for one hell of a driver to replace you." You walk away with Fernando to go watch the race in his paddock room.

f1news TROUBLE WITH THE STROLL SIBLINGS: After the red flag at the Chinese Grand Prix, Y/N Stroll was yelling at her brother with Fernando Alonso there. Witnesses say that Y/N was furious at her brother and father for restricting her access in the Aston Martin garage. This also included Y/N yelling at Lance about their father slamming the door on her dreams to become an F1 driver because she is the better driver than Lance.

user1 GO OFF QUEEN GO TELL THEM THE TRUTH 🗣️

user2 Y/N has always been the better driver than Lance. Lawerence is stupid for not putting her in that seat instead of Lance.

user3 did y'all see how Fernando was on Y/N side 🥹

user4 the perfect comeback for Y/N is to date Fernando. I know that Lance and Lawerence are going to be PISSED!!

Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid Tendrils tucked into a woven braid Growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all

After the Chinese Grand Prix, you decided to financially separate from your family. You needed to start new. You've been a dutiful daughter all your life because the plans were laid out for you. Once your family didn't let you race in F1, the tendrils of your relationship loosened and became chaos. You grew up precocious about being in F1 and that has never grown off you.

It was the weekend of the Miami Grand Prix. Susie Wolff had pulled some strings for you to let you be in F1 Academy. You were now the driver of Charlotte Tilbury Beauty F1 Academy Team.

yourusername I'm happy to announce that I am now the driver for Charlotte Tilbury Beauty F1 Academy Team. Thank you @/susie_wolff and @/charlottetilbury for giving me the opportunity to inspire so many females around the world. 🏎️💋✨

charlottetilbury darling you're going to be stunning on track 🤩✨

liked by yourusername

susie_wolff I'm so happy that you're finally in F1

yourusername its been a long time coming 😉

little_wolff yay I finally have someone to hang out with during f1 academy events 🥰

liked by yourusername

chloestroll my little sis finally fulfilling her dreams 🥹

liked by yourusername

racerbia so glad we get to race together!!

liked by yourusername

fernandoalo_official proud of you bonita pretty ❤️

yourusername 🥰🥰🥰 user1 FERNANDO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!? user2 wait ... are they together?? user3 PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

He was chaos, he was revelry Bedroom eyes like a remedy Soon enough the elders had convened Down at the city hall

Fernando had messaged you after your first win in F1 Academy. He had asked if you wanted to celebrate together by going to dinner. You obviously said yes because it was Fernando. Who wouldn't say yes to a hot Spanish driver.

"Congrats on your first win." Fernando greets you before kissing you on the cheek. He had never greeted you that way before you.

"Thank you Nando." You blush before you two order your meals. Once you order your meals you continue the conversation. "I wouldn't have done it without you. If that day didn't happen I don't think I would have left."

Fernando reaches out to your hand over the table. "I'm happy that you left. I missing seeing you in the garage but I couldn't stand the way your family treated you."

"You miss seeing me in the garage?" You ask blushing that Fernando had confessed to you that he missed you.

"Yes, I've always had feelings for you Y/N." You were shocked at what Fernando was confessing to you. "I wanted to tell you but your family had convened. If I ever made a move on you they would punish you." Fernando is still holding your hand.

You smile at Fernando. "Thank you for protecting me when I was there. But they can't punish me now." You give Fernando a passionate kiss after your confession. You knew Fernando was chaos and revelry but his eyes were like a remedy.

"Stay away from her" The saboteurs protested too much Lord knows the words we never heard Just screeching tires and true love

f1news Y/N STROLL CELEBRATING HER FIRST WITH FERNANDO!? Y/N Stroll, Charlotte Tilbury Beauty F1 Academy Driver was seen getting close with Fernando Alonso at dinner. Is Y/N getting back at her brother and father?

user1 YES THE QUEEN IS FINALLY HAPPY!!!

user2 I knew they had something together 🥹

user3 thank god y/n left her family to be in f1 academy and brought alonso with her

****

After a romantic night with Fernando, you woke up with breakfast in bed. "I ordered room service for us, bonita pretty."

"Thank you Nando." You give Fernando a kiss before you start eating. While you're eating, you open your phone and see messages from friends

New Messages

Oscar's Wifey 🧡: OMG YOU AND FERNANDO ARE DATING!!

Little Wolff 🐺: GIRL!!! You need to spill the tea on your new relationship with Fernando ☕️

"Nando." Fernando looks up to you. "How do some of the wags know we're dating?" You show Fernando your messages while he's drinking his coffee.

"It's probably the media. I should've done something small so the media couldn't see us." You could tell that Fernando was anxious that people found out that you two were together.

To calm his nerves, you give him a kiss. "It's okay. They were going to find out anyway."

"Did any of your family text you?" He asks.

"I blocked most of them except for Chloe and Scotty." Fernando's phone goes off and he checks it. It was a message from Lawerence Stroll.

New Message

Lawerence Stroll: Stay away from her

"Don't answer it." You tell Fernando. "I'm a grown lady and I can do whatever I want. We're happy and that's all that matter." You both smile at each other before finishing your breakfast.

yourusername just screeching tires of true love 🏎️💋

tagged fernandoalo_official

little_wolff you two are too cute 🥹

georgerussell63 you don't think we're cute @/little_wolff 💔 fernandoalo_official you guys remind me of toto and susie too much little_wolff that's what we're trying not to do 💀

mrspianorris I did not see this coming but I'm happy for you guys 🥺

yourusername thank you @/mrspianorris 🥹🫶

lance_stroll really y/n 🤢

user1 lance stroll more like lance sTROLL user2 why can't you be happy and supportive for your sister for once? not everything is about you. 🙄

And now I'm running with my dress unbuttoned Screaming "But Daddy I love him!" I'm having his baby No, I'm not, but you should see your faces

You were in Paris doing media for Charlotte Tilbury. Fernando had tagged along with you since the race wasn't until next week.

"So Y/N, we see that your man is here to support you at the event. How has it been going in your relationship?" A reporter asks as you're walking down the read carpet.

"Our relationship is doing really well." You smile while Fernando is hugging you on the red carpet. "We've known each other for a while and our relationship has grown from there."

"We see that Fernando is very affectionate with you." She smiles before adding. "How did your family react to hearing the news?"

"They found out through the media which isn't ideal but yeah." You give a faint smile. "They can't do anything about it. Fernando has always had feelings for me and it took me leaving my family to find out. I don't care what they think because like Ariel said 'but daddy, I love him.'" Your quote from the little mermaid made the reporter laugh.

"Any upcoming plans for the future?"

"Yes," You smile before continuing. "Fernando and I agreed we would take the next step in our relationship and move in together. We have to because we're having a baby."

The reporter jaw drops before Fernando clears the joke. "She's just joking. We want to move in together so we can spend more time together while we're not racing. Of course we want children together one day, but I know her F1 career is just starting and I want her to focus on that." You smile at Fernando before giving him a kiss.

I'll tell you something right now I'd rather burn my whole life down Than listen to one more second of all this griping and moaning

yourusername screaming but daddy i love him 🖤

tagged fernandoalo_official

fernandoalo_official Mi hermosa dama 😍 my pretty lady

liked by yourusername

taylorswift 🖤✨

liked by yourusername

user1 MOTHER APPROVES user2 I swear Taylor wrote this song about Y/N 😭

lance_stroll you guys disgust me

yourusername @/lance_stroll I'll tell you something rn Lance. I'd rather burn my whole life down. Than listen to one more second of all this griping and moaning. user3 YOU GO TELL HIM GIRL user4 Y/N FINALLY CLAPPING BACK AT LANCE 👏

God save the most judgmental creeps Who say they want what's best for me Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see

It was the weekend of the Canadian Grand Prix, your sister and Scotty had asked you to come to the race to spend time with you. You tried saying no but it was your older sister and you couldn't say no. At least you could support Fernando this weekend.

Since Fernando was racing at this moment, you walked by yourself to the Aston Martin paddock. From there you saw your sister and Scotty.

"Ahh you're here!" Chloe runs up to you and gives you a big hug. You haven't physically seen Chloe since the Chinese Grand Prix. "I thought you weren't going to come."

"Well you are my older sister so I couldn't say no." You laugh before Scotty comes up to you for a hug.

"So glad you're here sucker." Scotty says in his Australian accent. "We have exciting news to tell you." You were confused before your sister takes out a small Aston Martin jersey.

"We're having a baby!"

"Oh my god! Congratulations you guys." You say before giving them a big hug. "I'm so happy for you guys!"

Your moment of happiness with your sister and brother-in-law cut short as Lance and your father come in. "Y/N what are you doing here?" Your father asks.

"I invited her this weekend to tell her about the baby." Chloe says happily before adding. "It would also be great for her to support her man." You smile at your sister.

Your smile went away as your dad starts to talk. "You shouldn't be with Fernando."

"And why is that? I'm a grown lady." You answer back.

"We want what's best for you Y/N. Fernando is an old playboy driver who will just break your heart." Your father admits to you.

You were tired of your father and Lance treating you this way. You're a grown woman who can make her own choices. "I'm so tired of you two telling me what to do with my life. I sanctimoniously perform soliloquies to you two my whole life. I never noticed until Fernando showed me how you guys truly are."

Thinking it can change the beat Of my heart when he touches me And counteract the chemistry And undo the destiny

"We do that because we love you," Lance says.

"You think you 'love' me Lance," You scoff at Lance's words. "I never knew love until my heart beat changed for Fernando. The chemistry we have undid everything you guys put me through. It lead me to the destiny I have today."

You ain't gotta pray for me Me and my wild boy And all this wild joy If all you want is gray for me Then it's just white noise And it's just my choice

"I pray that you're not making a mistake." Your father adds before grabbing the door handle.

"You ain't gotta pray for me. Me and my wild boy are happy. I'm finally happy now that I have my wild joy." Your wild joy was finally being in F1.

"If all you want is gray for me. Then it's just going to be white noise for you." You laugh before adding. "I finally did the one thing you two caged me from. I'm finally an F1 driver."

Your father and Lance don't say anything and leave. It didn't matter what they think. You were happy with the choices you made.

"I'm happy that you stood up to them Y/N," Chloe says before giving you a hug. Scotty joins the hug as well.

"Thank you guys."

There's a lot of people in town that I Bestow upon my fakest smiles Scandal does funny things to pride But brings lovers closer

f1news SCANDAL DOES FUNNY THINGS TO PRIDE BUT BRINGS LOVERS CLOSER: We know Y/N for the fakest smiles while staying in the sidelines of her brother. But reportedly Y/N spoke out to her father and brother about the way she's been treated for years and how she's "never felt love until Fernando came into the picture."

user1 @/f1news the taylor swift lyric!!!

user2 they're literally brother's teammate x forbidden love troupe

user3 so glad the media to finally addressing the way the Stroll men have treated Y/N.

We came back when the heat died down Went to my parents and they came around All the wine moms are still holding out But it's over.

The next time you went to Aston Martin in Barcelona. Since you were racing in F1 Academy that weekend, you didn't see Fernando until late every night. Once you won first place in the race, you had rushed back to your hotel room to get ready for Fernando's race. You couldn't miss this race since it was his home race.

As you scan your paddock badge, you see that your brother was at the entrance. You try your best to not get his attention but you were too late. "Y/N!" You don't turn to look at him. You needed to get to Fernando and support him.

As you're speed walking to Fernando's garage, Lance stops you. "Y/N I've been yelling your name."

"Okay, and?" You say before you start walking again.

"Y/N I want to apologize for how me and dad have been treating you your whole life. I know it wasn't right. It should be you in my seat instead of me." You were shocked at what Lance was saying. "These past few months have been hell without you. I miss seeing you around the paddock supporting me and Fernando."

A smile creeps up to your face as Lance adds Fernando to his sentence. "You finally address my boyfriend."

He rolls his eyes. "Yes, I was mad that you left Aston Martin and instead of supporting you getting into F1 Academy I publicly slandered you for your relationship with Fernando. I'm sorry for being a asshole."

"You've been an asshole most of your life Lance." You both laugh at your comment. "But thank you for the apology. Does this mean you approve of Fernando?"

He gives you a big hug before you says, "Yes, I don't want to lose you again." You give him a big hug before he has to leave for the race.

Now I'm dancing in my dress in the sun and Even my daddy just loves him I'm his lady, and oh my God You should see your faces

yourusername now i'm dancing in my dress in the sun and even my daddy just loves him ☀️💚✨

tagged fernandoalo_official

fernandoalo_official glad your dad finally approved of us 🩶

little_wolff @/yourusername what did fernando have to do to get your father's approval? 💀 yourusername he had to extend his contract to get on my father's good side ☺️ i'm his lady so of course he did it. he loves me 🥰

lance_stroll you guys are too lovey dovey for me 🤢

mariloublg_ let your sister be happy for once babe 😭 yourusername yeah what my sister in law said 😼 pls marry her already 🤗

user1 finally the stroll family is getting along 🥺💚

tagged: @omgsuperstarg @splaterparty0-0 @2pagenumb @c-losur3

[abbyfmc]

Yandere Emperor! x Opera Artist! Reader Headcanons:

Warning: This section is a continuation of the previous one, so you have to read the other one to understand this one.

Topics to talk about: Mention of kidnapping, abuse, murder, obsessive and yandere behavior, manipulation, and anything involving yandere behavior. Also, as I said before, I am NOT describing any Asian emperor in particular, so I have created my own; Not to mention that I have used the Chinese imperial harem system as a base, as well as the forbidden city itself. I will name (Y/n)'s children, so I warn you that I am not describing any prince or princess in particular.

Enjoy it!

1. Yan Li knew that because of having such fast promotions the concubines were mostly jealous of you, so to prevent any attacks, he kept an eye on every corner you went to.

2. He also watched over the princes and princesses he had with you, who were the following:

-The third prince, Li Chen (your first child). -The sixth prince, Li Song (your second child). -The eighth prince, Yong Li (your third child). -The ninth prince, Li Yon'er (your fourth child). -The tenth princess, Yan'rong (your fifth child). -The fifteenth princess, Hua Li (your sixth child).

3. Your children also suffered from palace intrigues, so you had to protect each one of them tooth and nail. Yan Li saw this and decided to severely punish any concubine or consort who dares to harm you or your children.

4. To protect (and harass) you, Yan Li selected a specific group of servants for your palace, among them is the one who became your "right hand", a servant in charge of cleaning, named Yuhou.

5. Zhou, meanwhile, was devastated to learn that you were kidnapped by Yan Li in a golden cage, so he tried to enter the palace and enlist in the imperial army, which he succeeded after a few years. If he can't rescue you, he would at least watch over you from the shadows.

6. One day, when you were in the middle of your third pregnancy, you were walking with your maids when they saw each other. One of your maids, Lili (yes, your old friend), noticed this. He was shocked to see you not only dressed as one of Yan Li's consorts (at that time you were still a consort), but he felt her heart break at the sight of you pregnant. You felt like running towards each other, but you loved your children too much to challenge Yan Li like this.

7. --He… forced you?-- Zhou asked after remaining silent in surprise. You could only nod at that moment.

8. --Yes, isn't it obvious?-- You answered and left, being very devastated just like him, not knowing that Yan Li himself was watching them, angry and jealous.

9. Yan Li made sure you would never see your loved one again, taking him out of the forbidden city on super difficult military missions, basically sending him to die multiple times on purpose.

10. You suspected that Yan Li would find out sooner or later, so you purposely avoided meeting or talking about Zhou, no matter how sad it made you. You didn't even mention it to your children.

11. The few times Zhou was in the forbidden city, Yan Li tried to set traps for you to see how far you would go or whether you would be unfaithful to him, and the best thing you did in hoste traps was… stay in your palace and quietly go on with your life. , which Yan Li did not expect.

12. Yan Li has never hurt you physically, rather he threatened or manipulated you, followed by controlling how long you could sing and dance (like when you did before) or not, which discouraged you a lot. He only allowed you to do it for him.

13. I forgot to say that Lili entered the Mese Palace after you were kidnapped, but Yan Li wanted to make sure that she didn't help you escape, so he sent her first to work in the laundry house, the embroidery department, the flower department and gardening and finally in the workhouse where Lili had some acquaintances, both good and bad, and endured a lot of work and humiliation.

14. Each time Yan Li locked you more and more to himself, with the excuse that it was to take care of you, but he only wanted to control you.

15. Yan Li even had every gift that came to you or your children checked. He also appreciated any gift you gave him.

16. You watched your eldest children grow up, marry, and leave your palace for their own princely mansions, one after one. Li Chen was the first of all of them.

17. After you gave birth to Hua Li, you were unable to have children again, but Yan Li didn't care about this and still forced you to stay with him every night he could, now threatening to harm Zhou if you didn't comply with his whims. and you gave yourself to him.

18. Yan Li forced you to spend time with him, and not only at night but also visiting you in your palace, taking walks with him (sometimes with the Empress Dowager as extra company) and even accompanying him on trips and festivals.

19. Speaking of the Empress Dowager, she quite likes you and Yan Li is glad that you get along with her since… well, she's his mother. She is the only person who forgives you for spending a lot of time with her aside from your children and harem problems; He likes that you get along with the highest ranking woman in the empire.

20. Yan Li really likes your son, Li Chen, so much so that he secretly made him his heir to the throne; so neither you nor Li Chen himself knows.

21. In the event that any of your children or one of his consorts helped you escape, Yan Li would banish them from the forbidden city and condemn you to house arrest.

22. During festivals, he would control even who can talk and who can't talk to you. Among the people who can't even get close to you would be your beloved Zhou.

23. A drunk minister once insulted you, and as a result, Yan Li burned his tongue.

24. Yan Li is the one who had all your crowns made to your liking, demonstrating the deep love (or rather, obsession) he had for you.

25. Sometimes during the nights you were forced to give him back massages after a stressful day, and on other nights he would do this with you.

26. The servants even had to be careful not to bump into you, because depending on Yan Li's mood… he may simply punish them, or kill them.

27. As time went by, you became a grandmother thanks to your prince's children, but you couldn't always see your grandchildren since Yan Li liked to keep you prisoner in the forbidden city.

28. Every time Yan Li goes to bathe in his own private hot spring lake, he forces you to bathe with him, even if you don't want to. Likewise, if he knows that you are bathing alone in said waters, he will bathe with you even if you don't want to and he will make you be close to him.

29. He makes sure that every birthday of yours is fantastic.

30. Every time he got sick, he asked you to take care of him. Conversely, every time you got sick he took care of you and by doing so I mean not only getting you the best medicines, but also watching over everything that your maids or the imperial doctor do.

31. The Empress Dowager became ill over the years due to old age, and when she died, you were very sad since she was somehow the closest thing to a mother to you. Your princesses also mourned her a lot, not to mention Yan Li himself. Due to the close relationship Yan Li had with his mother, he was devastated and declared three years of mourning; It was the only time you felt truly sorry for him.

32. Yan Li has given the order that if something happens in the palace or during a trip, they must save you and your children first, since he does not want to see you hurt, injured or in the worst case scenario… dead. That is a nightmare and a terror that has haunted him day after day since he met you, which is why he believes that he is protecting you but in reality he manipulates you, locks you up and isolates you from the world.

33. He admired how you managed the imperial harem and all the internal servant departments with an iron fist, even if he didn't tell you directly.

34. The only excuse Yan Li accepts for you not wanting to sleep with him is if you or one of your children is sick.

35. The only visits Yan Li allowed to you were from your eldest children, either alone or with their wives and children. I don't know if I mentioned it before, but Yan Li noticed the pressure your parents were putting on you, so he sent his guards to "talk nice" to them, and from then on they stopped bothering you.

36. Yan Li saw you meeting Zhou secretly, which made him angry, so that night he threatened you that if you didn't say goodbye, he would kill him in a cruel and painful way. The next day she made you say goodbye to your loved one and then took him out of the forbidden city so that one of his guards would cut his neck, killing him quickly and throwing him into a mass grave. Needless to say, you really hated Yan Li again after that.

37. As the years went by, Yan Li became sicker and sicker, mostly from stress, which you took advantage of to start getting revenge on him, poisoning him.

38. His health deteriorated more and more, until on his final day, when he was dying, you dismissed all his servants from his main hall and then confessed to him. Yan Li was very angry and felt very betrayed, but he could do nothing but listen until he died at the hands of the person he loved so much.

39. During Yan Li's funeral, you pretended to cry, not knowing that your real happy days began from that moment. Yan Li's trusted eunuch read the emperor's will, which stated that Li Chen would be the new emperor, and you would be the empress dowager. Long story short, your son ascended the throne, reshaped your living conditions, and the other consorts became "widow consorts." You no longer had to worry about anything, you would just live in peace from now on, taking care of your daughters until they grow up.

40. However, Yan Li was waiting for you in the other world. He has told you years before he died that even if he passes away first, he will be waiting for you in the next life where he will find you and make you his again.

-Fin. So, what do you think about this part two?

[hellkeepers-if]

DEMO (prologue out) UPDATES

Set in an alternate version of Singapore, you're a fresh university graduate bumbling through life as you desperately look for a job.

...Or that's what your mother thinks. In a world where occult ceremonies are as common as an existential crisis, there's no way you were ever going to be a perfectly average office worker. Just like your twin brother, you work for the International Society Of Exorcists (ISOE) which deals with supernatural occurrences, demonic rituals, and the like.

When a tragic event befalls your older sister, it uproots your entire life and everything you ever knew about the supernatural. With it, comes a forced need to come to terms with a family history straight out of the movies. 

After all, how the hell did it take twenty years to find out that you're descended from the freaking king of the underworld?

"I have a duty to myself, but more importantly, my family."

——————

Inspired by Supernatural, Fullmetal Alchemist, Noragami, and the Percy Jackson series, Hellkeepers is a +18 urban fantasy/paranormal interactive fiction, involving elements of Chinese and Southeast-Asian mythology. In every playthrough, you will...

• Play as a female, male, or non-binary Chinese demigod/ess.

• Determine the relationships between you and your family members. After all, they will play a big part in your story...

• Peel apart the full truth behind you and your siblings' birthright. Your parents can't hide it forever.

• Learn more about Chinese and Southeast Asian mythology as you warp into different dimensions, unlike anything you've seen before.

• Learn more about who you were in your past life.

| Nishimura Kazuo (he/him)

Age: 26

Ethnicity: Japanese

With a penchant for mischief and a charm that woos even the most stubborn of grandmas, Kazu is the wildcard of your organization. You think he's an anarchist, and the only reason he's tied down to the ISOE is so that he has an excuse for whatever havoc he wreaks on the supernatural. 

The A-ranked exorcist is your colleague and your brother's mentor, though you rarely ever see him in his office. But if you ever need him for demon fighting, he'll be there. Most of the time.

"Mind taking that pesky thing out for me while I take a quick nap?"

| Quentin Khanh (Quan) (he/him)

Age: 25

Ethnicity: Vietnamese

Quentin, more affectionately known as Quan, was your childhood friend. After he moved overseas, the weekly texts you sent him fizzled into nothing but a lost friendship.

Since then, he's returned to Singapore as a forensics pathologist and researcher under your organisation. Whether you like it or not, you have to no choice but to work with him for most of your investigations.

"If your bribe doesn't involve a penthouse worth of money, don't talk to me."

| Reyna Aliyah Santos (she/her)

Age: 23

Ethnicity: Mixed (Filipino-Chinese)

You've never quite met someone like Reyna. A halfling with a demon mother and a human father. Being raised in Singapore all her life with little knowledge of her parents, it's natural that Reyna would come to the ISOE for help at the mere instance of a fox tail and white fur.

You've been tasked to help her mask and get comfortable with her supernatural powers, but she won't make it easy for you. After all, foxes do bite. 

"Technically, I'm not stealing anything if they don't notice."

| Song Huayun (she/her)

Age: ????

Ethnicity: "Uhh...from Hell?" Chinese

| You don't know too much about Huayun, except for the fact that she lives in Diyu, the Chinese Underworld. As Diyu's gatekeeper, Huayun has seen countless depravities committed by humans before their deaths. That alone has made it hard for her to like them, and the contempt she shows you is no different than what she shows everyone else.

But with time, maybe she'll finally learn what it is like to feel human…and what a smile is.

"If it isn't the star of tonight's show. Welcome to Diyu."

| The Arbiter of Fate (m/f)

Theyre a stranger, or so you say. But this deity knows everyone...especially you.

[platinumrosetail]

Yandere Hualian x reader.

Warning: In the fem reader's first life, she was the younger sister of General Pei Ming. She lived as a beautiful young woman loved by her brother, without caring that he was a womanizer. Then, according to Pei Ming's ascension story, when he was accused of treason and broke his sword. However, the reader remained in the mortal realm and was unjustly executed. After 800 years she is reincarnated again, but as a humble traveler, there she meets Xie Lian and Huan cheng (you decide how) after many adventures together. He then reunites with his brother, although at first he does not remember him, although Pei Ming insists that he was once his brother. Little by little she will remember her past life. In the end he has a relationship with Huan cheng and Xie lian, and when he remembers his previous life, he sadly dies, but some time later he is reincarnated again.

(I based this request on some Chinese dramas, thank you for accepting it.)

Oooh interesting, also my first heaven officials blessing/tgcf request yay!

Warning: noob author, female reader, yandere characters, and others.

Characters: hualian (hua cheng and xie lian).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were the little sister to pei Ming, you didn’t mind his womanizing ways but you always scold him to be careful as one of those woman he woo’s could seek revenge when he breaks her heart. Though not many gods knew about you as you had died a little after your brother ascended to godhood, falsely accused and executed over a misunderstanding along with how you were the little sister to pei Ming so they thought you had a part in the rebellion even though you were innocent, your brother couldn’t save you as he had only learned after your death that you were in trouble and it was already too late to save you.

Pei Ming has hope that you might reincarnated or turned into a ghost and he just couldn’t find you good enough. He has searched high and low for you, and when he gets frustrated he usually woo women’s hearts and release his frustration by having sex with them and leaving afterwards to continue searching for you after the stress and frustration is out of his body.

Pei Ming was right to think you reincarnated though it was only after 800 years had you finally reincarnated this time as a young female and humble traveler, each time you have left a place he would arrive missing you each time as you have never stayed in one place for too long which resulted you in meeting a nice young man by the name of xie lian who is a humble cultivator also traveling. You soon start having a crush on xie lian as he is such a kind person so it was no surprise when you started developing feelings for the young man.

On your journey with xie lian you meet many interesting people and fight against some enemies as well, though even when you can fight it’s not as good as two junior officials from the heavens and your crush; xie lian, fighting though xie lian always seems to be there for you no matter what and can protect you and your weak spots which warms your heart and love for him.

You soon met hua cheng when you had became a bride bait to lure out the ghost groom or also known as ghost bride as you all soon found out that the ones behind the disappearance of brides was a woman one who shared history with pei Ming, who you find familiar in name but can’t place where it was familiar. Pei jr saw you and noted to tell his father about you.

You later met San lang when he was with you while you and xie lian was riding a cart together to get back home to your little shrine in piqu village, later spending the night there with you and xie lian before the two junior officials came by again with another mission to banyue(?) pass. Many months later and many adventures later you, San lang who you later found out was hua cheng, and xie lian who you also found out later was a god, started a relationship together.

Pei Ming had soon asked xie lian if he could meet you as you very well could be his sister who finally reincarnated, xie lian at first was worried that pei Ming would flirt with you but soon found out that you were pei Ming’s reincarnated sister and let pei Ming meet you though with a subtle warning on if pei Ming hurt you he and hua cheng would show no mercy even if he was your past life brother. You were skeptical about the situation between you and pei as you had no memories and there wasn’t really any proof and pei Ming could have gotten the wrong person but after meeting pei Ming you kept getting memories of your past life but before you could celebrate on finding out the pei Ming is actually your brother you were sadly killed by a jealous woman who had mistaken you for pei Ming’s lover instead of sister.

The woman was soon tortured and killed by hua cheng, xie lian and pei Ming, thankfully the woman was a ghost so xie lian and pei Ming didn’t get in trouble on killing her if she was human, and even if she was it would be easy to hide that fact considering who the three were. Hua cheng and xie lian are now on the hunt for your next life with pei Ming as the two both love you and won’t let you go even after you die and pei had just found you he won’t lose your next life like he did last time which means he gives up on womanizing if it meant you won’t get hurt like you did last time. You won’t ever escape them and no one will ever take you away from them now.

(A/n: hope yall liked it!! I decided on making pei Ming a platonic yandere as I thought it fit plus since xie lian and hua cheng were already yandere i thought why not him too? lol anyway hope yall have a wonderful day/evening/night!!)

[slavicdollie]

My bestfriends brother ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Summary: Things don't go as planned when your close friend invites you to watch the new Johnny Cage movie.

Notes: Post-mk1 story and Bi-hans betrayal never happened. AFAB reader isn't one of earthrealms champions just a cool girl Tomas started to become friends.

Content Warnings:NSFW, dub-con fingerbang, small temperature play ,female masturbation.

Chinese culture was a beautiful sight but she still loathed her father for moving here, leaving behind her old friends and memories. She struggled to learn the language and felt outcasted amongst her peers all but one, a silver haired man named Tomas the same age as her. He knew what it felt like to be different from everyone else. A friendship began to spark between the two of them sharing stories of the past and present. Tomas was a good listener and sometimes she just needed to get things off her chest.

It had taken a lot of convincing to allow her at the fire temple Kuai liang was content with her visiting considering she looked as if she had never fought in her life, she put an end to that assumption when showing off her meteor hammer skills,she had shown interest in martial arts from a young age. Both Kuai Liang and Tomas looked impressed they had never seen a warrior move so beautifully and Tomas was practically drooling.

Bi-han however was not too fond of having a stranger enter their home let alone train with her brothers whilst not being lin kuei.

"I promise I am not a threat Grandmaster I simply enjoy the company of Tomas and practicing how to use my meteor hammer in a professional sense." Tomas felt his heart race at her statement.

Bi-han only grunted a popular gesture of his," You are no lin kuei do not presume to address me as Grandmaster." As he walked away stoicly, she began to admire him his handsome face and hot physique could not go unnoticed.

She became more comfortable around Tomas even making jests about wanting to fuck his brother, "Yeah I'd totally freeze my tongue on Bi-han's flag pole" Tomas laughed awkwardly hiding how uncomfortable he was and he looked almost...hurt?

She found herself becoming more comfortable around the lin kuei trio kuai liang appreciated her fire puns but Bi-han only shot her deathly glares.

"Are you ready to have your mind blown?" Tomas asked with a stupid grin he was excited to be apart of Johnny cage's new movie even if someone else was casted he was interested on how they would portray him. "Didn't know ninjas were allowed TV's" actually Tomas and Johnny had convinced Bi-han to install one.

Tomas and Y/n sat on the soft couch sharing popcorn. Tomas was blushing due to how close her leg were to his,she was wearing a skirt but he knew not to look at it she'd probably think he was some kind pervert and never want to speak to him again. Their faces were glued to the screen until interrupted by a deep voice. "What are you two morons doing?" Tomas jumped at the sound of Bi-hans voice but Y/n just smiled and replied "Watching the movie about you guys, the guy Johnny got to play you really captures your essence" The actor had been grumpy and mascular just like Bi-han.

Bi-han let out an annoyed grunt,"I told Cage our victory is not for entertainment" although he disproved of the movie being made he still wanted to see what the fuss was all about, motioning for Tomas to move up now sitting in the middle, between his adopted brother and his friend who he found to be alluring.

Bi-han removed the popcorn from her lap and gave it to Tomas that may have been the kindest thing Bi-han had done for him yet his only intention was to get a view of Y/N's skirt. It was a black plaid skirt with a pink ribbon around the middle that was above knee length. 'Why is he staring at me' Y/n began to think while Tomas was too focused laughing at the movie. Bi-han stared at her as a predator stared at it's prey. She looked at him for a split second making eye contact only to quickly look down and play with her fingers which was a common thing for her to do when nervous.

This action only annoyed the cryomancer next to her causing him to pull her hands apart placing them on her sides. He turned to look at Tomas seeing him stuck on the screen like a kid at a candy store, Bi-han rolled his eyes and looked back to the girl next to him. He begun rubbing his rough hands on her gentle thighs. His hands were cold she shivered at his touch. He put a lock of her hair behind her ear almost as a way to reassure her everything was going to be okay.

She subconsciously started rocking her hips and he slowly started to put his hand under her skirt reaching her cotton panties. Pushing her panties to the side and entering two fingers in her slit while she parted her legs, turning to look at Tomas who was oblivious to what was going on. The ninja used his cryomancer abilities to form solid ice on his fingertips. She whimpered softly at that, quickly covering her mouth to prevent Tomas from looking over. Bi-han started moving his fingers in and out of her wet pussy. She wanted to moan and tell him to fuck her right now,who cares if Tomas was there. She was a blushing and sweating mess Bi-han wanted to make fun of her for her reaction but did not want to draw attention to it.

Thank the elder gods for the volume of the TV or else Tomas would be hearing the sound of his friend's pussy as she was getting fingerbanged by his older brother. The finger fucking went from slow and gentle to rough and fast tears started to form from the inner corners of her eyes,Bi-han noticed this and wiped them away and started going slower and she tried to keep in her moans with her hand. She was about to cum and accidentally removed her hand from her mouth,"AAAERR THAT WAS A GOOD FIGHT SCENE" she tried to play her orgasm off as a reaction to the film. Bi-han smirked and Tomas only said "I know right!" not judging her reaction. Bi-han grabbed the popcorn bowl from Tomas and giving it to the girl he just dispoiled. His fingers were still covered in her juices she opened her mouth to put the popcorn in her mouth but instead was greeted with bi-hans jizzed covered fingers shoved in her mouth she need not be told what to do and started sucking her mess from his rough fingers.

She had completely forgotten the plot of the movie she was watching and only shooting smiles at Bi-han and wondering what other parts of his body are cold. After the movie, Tomas got up and offered Y/N to stay for dinner. "You know it's pretty late I should get going home." She refused awkwardly. "Did you enjoy the movie?" Bi-han asked with an unreadable expression.Tomas was taken aback since when does Bi-han care about the opinion of others especially on irrelevant things like a movie directed by Johnny but the girl about to leave knew he was not referring to the movie,"it was nice...I've never experienced something like that before" she smiled at him. Tomas offered to walk her home but she needed to be alone and given time to think.

'Did that really just happen??The always angry dude just fingered me while he was sitting next to his brother!!???' The whole scene felt like it came out of a bad porno. When she arrived home she went to straight to bed staring at her ceiling contemplating if this was a dream or if it actually happend. 'Of course it happend Y/N' she slightly hit herself on the head. Her mind begun to wander again thinking of Bi-han how he smirked at her after her release how good his fingers felt inside of her. She put her hands inside her underwear and tried to recreate Bi-hans movements her hands weren't as cold as his but you have to work with what you've got.

The skirt:

[sirfrogsworth]

Stephen Shore is a famous photographer most noted for his work in the 1970s.

He is now an old man.

And sadly, he just yelled at a cloud.

As he was giving his lecture to a Chinese audience, he noticed many people on their phones. And he paused his lecture and said the following...

"Just before you ask that question – I’m gonna say something, and I apologize in advance because it’s gonna be rude. But it’s something [that’s been] on my mind as I experience the modern world. Since we’re talking about attention, I think we understand each other. And I think you understand the value of attending to daily life. I saw at least a dozen of you who spent the entire lecture looking at your phones. You’ve come here. You come here to hear a talk and you can’t even pay attention to who you’ve come to listen to. How can you pay attention to the food you eat, or the feel of the sun on your skin?"

He then walked off before finishing the lecture he agreed to.

But his audience wasn't actually distracted by their phones...

They were taking notes.

And I guess he wasn't used to having such a studious audience. He didn't even consider cultural differences or even people needing to translate things.

Personally, I'd see note-taking as a sign of respect, but I suppose he had no way of knowing what they were using their phones for.

Eventually he was told the audience was taking notes. He said he "felt better" about the situation. And that is where I feel he lost me. He didn't apologize. He didn't agree to redo the lecture. He just attended to his own feelings about the situation and didn't consider the audience that clearly wanted to learn from him.

Personally, I have a hard time connecting with Stephen's work.

And his portraits are all very... deer in headlights.

He just kinda blasts people in the face with a flash.

I think the only thing that saves these photos is the unfamiliar era and being shot on film.

I think the idea is to find beauty and art in the mundane. But I just see the mundane.

Though, plenty of people have trouble with my product photography for similar reasons. I love sculpting with light. I like seeing if I can take a jar of hair gel or nail clippers and make them beautiful and interesting just with fancy lighting. But so many people say it looks fake or like soulless CGI.

So maybe I don't have any room to speak about these mundane photos.

I guess it is the "craft vs art" spectrum.

There are people that only do technical photography. Like those Amazon product shots on white backgrounds. There is archival photography, archeological photography, and forensic photography. Private investigators use some very advanced telephoto techniques usually reserved for artistic bird photography to capture cheating partners.

There is no limit to how advanced and technical photography can get and often artistic intent is not involved.

But there are also purely artistic photographers that only learn the bare minimum to accomplish their aesthetic goals and just lean into the artistic message over the technical quality of the actual photos.

Like a guitarist only learning power chords.

Some photographers will even brag about how non-technical they are and wear it as a badge of honor—as if that makes them more authentic. They act like they are above learning that techie mumbo jumbo. Or they will claim they are too old to learn it.

Annie Leibovitz barely knows how modern cameras work. All of the lights are set for her. She has another photographer take test photos and once he has dialed in all of the settings, he hands her the camera and she presses the button. She knew her shit back in the days of film but she is more of an art director nowadays. I don't know if I could do what she does. I think she is still quite artistically skilled and often gets good results. But I just don't care for her attitude that she can't learn new things. As I get older I try very hard to make sure I don't fall into that mentality.

On the flip side, Ansel Adams built custom dark rooms with special equipment that he basically invented to help him develop or "photoshop" his film photography. He learned every technical detail that could fit in his brain so he could use it to elevate his photography.

But he also realized that you could be both technical and artistic. He blended art and craft so brilliantly and I think that is my sweet spot. When people take the time to figure out both aspects and don't lean too far one way or the other on that spectrum.

I just have trouble connecting with photography that is all art and no craft. I like seeing the effort and skill along with the beauty and vision. I like when someone does something I cannot yet do and gives me something to strive for in my own art. I like when photographers push their tools to do more interesting and creative things.

Richard Avedon was a famous photographer during the same era as Stephen Shore. And when I see his photos it tickles the "I love this" part of my brain.

[ See image descriptions and more of his work here ]

Not all of his work was very technical. He did a mix of studio work and candid portraiture. One of those photos is blurry and I still love it. But you can see the skill in every photo. The effort and experience and technical knowledge blended with the artistic intuition. He took photos of celebrities and just folks in the street. He also did photojournalism in mental hospitals.

I just find that a lot more compelling than a plant in the corner.

However, intellectually, I understand the plant in the corner is important. We cannot gatekeep art and put requirements on how it is created. My brain just has trouble appreciating that type of photography. Though I can imagine why someone would find it appealing.

That said, I'd definitely attend one of Stephen's lectures. And I guess I'd be sure to bring a notepad instead of a phone.

[thatonebirdwrites]

Alone

Lena scoured through the supply cabinet, desperate for anything to aid her current predicament. She floated horizontally in the confines of quadrant C-2, a rope around her waist and attached to the hook on the wall. She'd learned the hard way that unless she secured herself, the slow roll of the space station kept disrupting her search, sending her slowly spinning away from where she wanted to be.

It had been a week stranded here with an increasingly dangerous station. Her food supplies were low, and she still couldn't find any useful chemical in which to derive fuel for her thrusters, to hopefully reach the Chinese station once its orbit aligned.

Tremors and fires have slowly eaten its way through the communication sector, and it was only matter of time before it reached the reactor. Then survival would be near impossible.

Lena pushed aside vials and ignored the whisper of grief that haunted her since Jack's death. Part of her feared she would soon join him in death.

And what of Kara Danvers? Her girlfriend, or maybe no longer girlfriend, since their fight burned in the backdrop of Lena's thoughts. She'd signed up for this repair mission to avoid the situation, and now here she was.

All it had taken was one near-miss of a small asteroid, which set off a chain reaction, destroying their shuttle, Quadrant B-1 of the station, and cutting Lena off from the communication sector in Quadrant A-2.

Their fight felt ridiculous now, and she wished more than anything to see Kara again. To not be trapped here alone.

A few days ago, she'd managed to rig a HAM radio. Starting with NASA's frequency, she'd sent the message, "Commander Lena Kieran Luthor requesting aid. I am trapped on the space station in a decaying orbit." There'd been no response. Her next try started in the amateur radio bands. She tried for the eighty meters band, a higher frequency one, in hopes it would nab a contact. A lot of amateur's reported preferring this band, but she couldn't be certain how far it'd propagate, especially if there was ionization in the atmosphere to muck the signal. Again she repeated her message and again had no response.

Next she tried the forty meters high frequency band. She closed her eyes, one hand pressed against the side of her headphones, and listened first.

Someone was speaking on this band, but she didn't recognize the language. She decided to attempt anyway and repeated her message in English, Spanish, and Portuguese. The most likely languages for anyone listening in ITU region two.

The response had been excitement and a slew of words she still couldn't understand.

"I'm sorry," she said, frustrated, "I don't know your language. Please, if you understand me, can you alert someone I need rescuing? I'm trapped on a decaying orbit on the US and European Consortium Space Station D."

The reply baffled her as the person had switched to a different language. One that sounded similar to Spanish, but she still couldn't make out most of the words. She'd given up at that point.

So who knew if that person understood her and relayed the message. Most bands got her no other interactions, but she'd broadcasted on them just in case.

She kept the HAM radio running, but to no avail.

With her supplies dwindling, she scavenged what she could in her space suit from the ruined quadrants. Most of it was sheets of metal she welded to block off ruined sectors and to fix the air leakage.

Other materials helped her construct her radio, and still others gave her a way to rebuild suit thrusters. Her suit sat only a few feet away, clipped to the wall, and the pack on its back had started to look like some sort of Frankenstein monstrosity.

If her calculations were correct, the space station had dropped in its orbit. The closer it came to earth, the more likely she'd burn up with it as it crashed down.

Also per her calculations, the Chinese space station hung in a slightly higher orbit and would soon pass close enough for her to bridge the gap. Whether anyone still lived on it, she had no idea. But it likely had salvageable escape pods.

If she could find enough fuel for her suit's thrusters.

She wiped away sweat from the increasingly warm quarters. The cabinet held an assortment of chemicals. Most useless for her needs, but near the back, she found formic acid.

"Yes," she grinned, "finally!"

One of the few facilities still functioning on this dying station was the chemical equipment, and it should stock some platinum. Exposure to platinum breaks formic acid into hydrogen and carbon dioxide. It's the hydrogen she needs for fuel.

Lena tucked the acid into a protective pouch in her suit. She unhooked herself, slid into her suit, and tied her helmet to her belt.

With a push, she floated through the corridor. She increased her momentum with a gentle push off various protrusions, some of them made specifically for traversal, but others broken pipes or an analyzer station. Most of the computers in the station failed to work, the power grid close to failing with two solar wings lost to the chain reaction.

She had only one solar panel wing left and a prototype reactor, but how long would that last? The reactor already showed signs of failure and radiation leakage.

An intersection loomed ahead, and she shifted her angle to take a tight turn to the right. A tremor shook the station, and another warning light glared red along the corridor. She was far too close to the damaged sections, but she had no other choice.

She needed to break down the formic acid, otherwise she'd never make the leap to the Chinese station.

The corridor opened into a large module, where half a dozen chemistry stations hugged the walls. The cold atom lab control panel was still functional, but although useful for crafting Bose-Einstein condensates for gyroscopes, it was useless for her current task. Next to it sat a larger set-up, specifically for breaking down materials.

She slid off her suit gloves, clipped them to her belt, and flipped open its lid. She set the acid in the middle, clamped it in place, and fit the tubes. Shutting the lid, she slid her hands into the enclosure's gloves.

Another tremor shook the station, but Lena ignored the increasingly loud warning alerts. Each movement calculated and careful, she extracted the hydrogen she needed and filled the empty fuel cell.

An explosion rocked the station further down the corridor, and a safety door slammed down at the end of the hallway.

"Shit." Lena slid her hands free and extracted the fuel cell. She had less time than she thought.

It took two minutes to install the cell and re-don her gloves and helmet.

Three minutes to push her momentum toward the nearest airlock. Fire bloomed behind her, and smoke filled corridor. Another safety door attempted to drop, but it stuck halfway due to a set of broken pipes.

The next explosion knocked her hard against the wall. Pain blossomed in her side.

"Fuck!" A pipe had cut into her side. She dug into her belt supplies and slapped on a patch to seal the leak. Nothing she could do for her injury. Not until she got off this drowning ship.

The airlock C-4 loomed at the end of the corridor. A jet of flame from a nearby module set off the safety door.

Which would cut her off from freedom. Fuck. She pushed with all her might, her momentum increasingly dangerously. The door shuddered and slid slowly, its mechanics damaged.

She soared under it as it snapped shut with only inches to spare. Smoke filled this module, but she dodged the fires and hit the airlock's controls far too hard. It knocked the breath out of her.

Her vision splintered and the pain in her side burned.

The electronic controls failed to respond to her codes. So she grabbed the crank and turned with all her strength. More alerts blared and a red light flashed above her. Another tug and the crank clicked it open.

Air rushed into the chamber. She pushed inside and tried to shut the door, but it stuck against a shattered pipe. Fire licked the air and another shudder threw her against the wall.

Nothing for it. She'd have to risk it all.

She cranked the outer door until it flung open. Air screamed into the void. The earth glared up at her, far too close, and the beautiful sight of its blue, green, and yellow incited a desperation.

Lena wanted to go home. She wanted to stand on the ground again. To drink of the water, to sift through the soil.

And more than anything else, she wanted to find Kara.

To apologize for their fight. To not run again, but repair what they had once.

Tears blurred her vision as she pushed away from the broken station. More explosions shattered yet more of it, and a piece tore away to hurtle toward the earth.

She hit the thrusters and flew toward the trajectory of the Chinese station. Below her, the fires and debris of broken modules ripped into other quadrants, the station's own parts shredding its other sections. The chain reaction sent several spiraling in other orbits, some far too close to her own.

Still she sailed upward, toward her one chance at survival.

Ahead of her, the Chinese station loomed with its six modules, four solar panel wings, and hopefully an escape pod. She was so close. So damn close.

Several debris hurtled past the Chinese station, one ricocheting off a solar panel wing, tearing half of it away. The momentum sent both hurtling into a lower orbit.

Lena dodged the debris, but the finer particulate matter rained onto her suit. Her armor began to degrade, the finer particles ripped into each layer. Her thrusters sputtered.

Her momentum was too fast. She'd bounce right off the damn station if she didn't slow down.

"Puncture in left leg," her suit's systems alerted her. A hiss of air roared in her ears. The oxygen began to drop.

Fear curdled through her. She had no time to seal the break.

"Come on," she whispered. She adjusted her thrusters and attempted to slow her momentum. The station's outer armor held numerous protrusions, but her first attempt had her bouncing off and away.

She hit the thrusters to stop her tumble. Gritting her teeth, she aimed for a ladder and readied her rope hook.

She hit hard, but the hook slipped into space and she tumbled to stop. Her oxygen dropped lower, and she began to feel lightheaded. She pulled herself along the rope. Her glove gripped the rung. Black edged on her periphery of her vision. She pulled herself forward, closer to an airlock.

She flipped on her radio. Her vision faded toward grey. Low oxygen alert beeped. "Commander Lena Kieran Luthor requesting entrance." She struggled to speak it in Chinese, but her thoughts tumbled toward oblivion, her grip on reality slipping.

Her hand touched the crank, but her strength waned. She couldn't turn it. She gasped, the oxygen dropping dangerously. Her vision greyed, her mind blanked, and she struggled to take a breath, to suck in oxygen.

In that moment, she wanted only Kara. Just to see her again before the end.

Darkness overcame her just as a voice popped up in her radio.

"Commander?"

<<...>>

Lena slowly regained awareness. An oxygen mask hugged her face, and she lay, strapped to a bed. Voices spoke a language she knew, but couldn't seem to recall. Her head ached.

A person floated closer. "Lena?"

She blinked and noted the clear blue eyes. Golden hair falls in soft curls around her face. "Kara?" she whispered.

"Yeah, yeah, it's me." Tears stung Kara's eyes. She pressed a hand to Lena's left cheek. "Gosh, Lena, I thought you died."

Lena managed a faint smile. "Too stubborn." Tears blurred her vision The room she's in didn't look like anything from a station. She weakly removed the oxygen mask. "Where am I?"

"Hospital. You're on Earth." Kara settled onto a stool next to her and grasped her hand. "I'm so glad you're alive."

Lena reached up to gently touch Kara's cheek. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I've missed you."

Kara leaned into her touch and smiled. "I'm sorry too. Let's focus on your recovery, then we can go home together."

Lena smiled, relief and hope flooding her sore and pain-filled body. "I'd like that."

AO3 link

[panda-writes-kpop]

Tzuyu - Everything, Everything (Requested!)

A/N: Gonna be honest - this might be one of my favorite requests I've ever done. It's so cute, and Tzuyu is adorable in this, plus we love a happy little family. 💜

TW: Reader and Tzuyu have a kid together, airplanes, reader and Tzuyu's mom do not get along, a little angst with a happy ending :)

Summary: A trip to Taiwan gives Tzuyu and your daughter a chance to see their homeland and a close relative, but you're less than excited to see someone you don't see eye-to-eye with.

♡ Masterlist ♡

“Do you have everything packed?”

“Yeah, I grabbed this!” Your daughter proudly shows you her stuffed deer plushie, and you smile as you zip up her luggage. “I wanna see Grandma.”

I’m glad that one of us wants to.

To you, it wasn’t a secret that Tzuyu’s mother wasn’t a fan of you dating her daughter. You didn’t know if it had to do with the fact that you were a foreigner, or that she just wasn’t a fan of you in general, but her cold glares and pointed words weren’t missed by you at all.

You, however, knew how much this trip would mean to Tzuyu. Her mother had made a few trips over to Korea since the two of you had gotten together and, later in your relationship, adopted your daughter, but Tzuyu wanted her daughter to see the home land that her mother was raised in.

That fact did not calm your nerves about seeing Tzuyu’s mother in Taiwan, but if it would make Tzuyu and your daughter happy, you’d do it.

I’d do anything for either of them, in all honesty.

A gentle hand on the small of your back causes you to snap out of your thoughts.

“Are you ready, love?” Tzuyu asks your daughter, who excitedly nods. “We should be heading out soon. The plane leaves in a few hours.”

Your daughter grabs her suitcase before clambering out of the room. You and Tzuyu laugh before she directs her attention to you.

“Are you packed and ready to leave?”

As ready as I’ll ever be.

“Of course, darling.” You grab her free hand and press a kiss to it. “Let’s head to the airport.”

~

You awkwardly stand back as Tzuyu hugs her mother before gesturing to her daughter. Your daughter hugs her grandmother’s knees before she is scooped up into the latter’s arms.

Why do I feel like a stranger in my own family?

You wrap your arms around your side as you force yourself to smile as Tzuyu’s mother looks towards you.

It’s just a weekend with her. You can last through a weekend.

Her eyes narrow, and your shoulders sink as you take a step towards her.

“It’s great to see you again.” You say, in an effort to offer an olive branch, but she doesn’t budge.

“Likewise.” Her response is curt towards you before she turns towards her granddaughter. 

The two of them start talking, and you sigh before dejectedly walking towards them. Tzuyu’s hand grabs yours, and when you meet her eyes, the concern radiates off of her.

Are you alright? , she mouths to you.

I’ll survive, you mouth back, it’s just a weekend, after all.

She frowns, but you turn away before you can catch the concern in her eyes changing into disappointment.

~

“How has her Chinese lessons been going?” Tzuyu’s mom asks, and you remain silent as Tzuyu, who sits next to you in the cab, speaks up.

“They’ve been going very well.” Tzuyu gestures to your daughter, who says a broken sentence in Mandarin to her grandma.

“Ah, you’re doing well, sweetheart! If only you weren’t forced to learn three languages…” Tzuyu’s mom glares at you, and you bow your head in shame.

You look over to Tzuyu for help, and her eyes widen as she tries to backtrack.

“We think it’s important for her to learn the language of both of her parents, along with the country that she’s raised in.” Tzuyu pointedly says, and you nod in agreement. “Besides, they’ve been learning Chinese to speak with you, and I’ve been learning English to communicate with their parents. I think it’s a matter of give-and-take, don’t you?”

You show the same amount of surprise as Tzuyu’s mother does, but you begin to smile before grabbing her hand. She always stood up for you when you needed her most. She offers you a gentle smile before her mother speaks.

“Right…” Tzuyu’s mother grumbles, and the rest of the cab ride to Tzuyu’s childhood home is peacefully quiet.

~

Another day and night of tension pass before Tzuyu pulls you aside and says something.

“Hey, what’s going on between you and my mother?”

“Huh?” You tilt your head at her. “What do you mean?”

“Please don’t be like that with me, darling.” She places a gentle hand on your shoulder, and you bite your lip as you try to hold back the emotions that are threatening to break through. “I want to know what’s up. I worry about you.”

“It’s not anything major, I-”

“Your daughter knows.” Tzuyu interjects, and you pause as you feel a wave of shame pass you.

“She does?” You flinch at the weakness in your voice, but it’s how you truly feel.

“She does. She asked me why you and grandma don’t like each other.”

You place a hand on your forehead before looking at Tzuyu.

“What did you tell her?”

“I told her that sometimes adults don’t see eye-to-eye, especially when it comes to their concern over a loved one.”

“Tzuyu, did you talk to your mother?” You ask with concern, and she nods, which causes you to panic. “It’s true, isn’t it? She really doesn’t like me at all.”

You only curl up into yourself when Tzuyu nods her head. She sits next to you, on the bed, before removing her hand from your shoulder. You place your head on her shoulder as she wraps a loose arm around you.

“I’m sorry for ruining the trip.”

“You didn’t ruin the trip.” She tries to reassure you, but it doesn’t help. “At least, you didn’t mean to ruin the trip. I should’ve-”

“Don’t bring this back on yourself, Tzuyu.” You gently scold her, but she sighs in response.

“How can I not? How can I not blame myself for being ignorant that my lover and mother didn’t get along until it was made blatantly obvious?”

“How do we fix this, baby?” You softly ask with the remaining strength that’s in your body.

“I already did. Don’t worry about it.” Her free hand combs through your hair, and you yawn as you snuggle against her body.

“Y’know, you might act nonchalant and unbothered, but you really cannot help to be involve yourself with other people, huh?”

With sleepy eyes, you look up at Tzuyu one more time before you’re lulled to sleep.

“I suppose you’re right. You always see the best in people, don’t you?”

~

You smile at your daughter as she excitedly bounces around the room.

“Do we have to leave?!?! I wanna stay with Grandma for longer.”

You wrap your arms around Tzuyu, who blushes slightly before brushing a piece of hair out of her face.

“We will come back soon, I promise.” Tzuyu says before laughing at you trying to eat a piece of her hair. “You are a dork, darling.”

“But I’m your dork.” You joke before Tzuyu laughs again.

“I suppose so.”

“You suppose?” You jokingly say with anger as your daughter laughs at your antics.

Someone clears their throat, and the three of you direct your attention towards the doorway where Tzuyu’s mother stands.

“You three are welcome back anytime.” She emphasizes before her granddaughter runs over and hugs her.

“Three?” You mutter breathlessly as Tzuyu squeezes your arm.

"Three."

[odinsblog]

Since 2014, millions of Uyghurs, Kazakhs and other minorities have been locked up in China and subjected to torture and forced labour. Some of those freed talk about trying to rebuild their lives in neighbouring Kazakhstan.

Photography by Robin Tutenges

A Chinese course book

Saliman Yesbolat used to live in Ghulja county, Xinjiang. After she refused to denounce her Uyghur neighbours to the police, she was forced to perform the raising of the Chinese flag every Monday at dawn, and to attend Chinese lessons twice a week in the basement of her building, where she would learn the Chinese language, patriotic songs and Xi Jinping's discourses by heart. This is her exercise book.

Forced to leave China

At 65, Imam Madi Toleukhan is one of the oldest refugees in Bekbolat, Kazakhstan, where more than 100 families took shelter after fleeing the Chinese regime. 'We were richer back there. I owned a herd, but I was too afraid for my sons, my grandchildren and their future: I came to Kazakhstan to save them. I didn't want them to be the fourth generation to suffer at the hands of the Chinese government, he says.

Remembering Uyghur culture in exile

Two members of the Dolan Ensemble, a Uyghur dance troupe based in Kazakhstan, get ready before performing a traditional dance to mark 40 days since the birth of a baby. Founded in 2016, the troupe performs at festivals or private events that bring together members of the Uyghur community, some of whom have had to leave Xinjiang.

Torture, infertility and damaged genitalia

In Kazakhstan, medical care for camp survivors is poor. Most victims can barely afford to see a family doctor. Anara*, an endocrinologist in a Kazakh hospital who has examined about 50 camp survivors since 2020, noticed recurrent infertility problems among her patients. 'Men or women, many have damaged genitalia. Some told me they'd been given drugs, others said they'd been raped. As they didn't come to us right after being released from the camps, it's impossible to know what kind of drugs they were administered in Xinjiang, she says. *Not her real name

The tiger chair

Ospan* spent a year in a re-education camp. He says his mind and body were crushed by the tortures he experienced in a tiger chair - a steel apparatus with handcuffs that restrains the body in painful positions. Aged about 50, this former shepherd, who took refuge with his family in eastern Kazakhstan, is no longer fit for work. Physically wrecked and prone to headaches, he mourns the loss of his memory above all. 'I used to know a lot of songs and I loved to sing; I also knew poems by heart ... Now, I can't sing any more, I can't remember the words,' he says. *Not his real name

Broken families and imprisonment

Aikamal Rashibek saw the dreadful efficiency of the CCP's brainwashing on her husband, Kerimbek Bakytali, after he was released from a Chinese psychiatric hospital. 'He disappeared for a year. When he came back, he didn't tell me anything about what happened to him. He was highly unhinged, always nervous, and got angry whenever I asked questions. He couldn't stop repeating that he hated Kazakhstan now, and that he wanted to go back to China with the kids to give them a Chinese education, says Aikamal. They are now separated.

Missing loved ones in China’s camps

In March 2017, Miyessar Muhedamu, left, a Uyghur woman, was arrested in Xinjiang under the pretext that she had studied Arabic in Egypt when she was young. Her husband, Sadirzhan Ayupov, right, and her three children have not seen her since. Now that Miyessar has left the camp, Sadirzhan receives a short call every few months. He suspects she might have suffered abuse, yet Miyessar can’t speak freely. ‘She told me she’d been in a re-education camp, and that she’d been released. When I ask her what she went through there, she doesn’t answer,’ says Sadirzhan.

Life after fleeing China

Sent to a re-education camp in 2018 at the age of 64, Yerke* saw her health quickly deteriorate. Locked a tiny cell with dozens of other women, she almost lost the use of her legs due to the cold floor she had to lie on. She was in the camp when she learned of her son’s death: pressured by the Chinese authorities, he took his own life. After her release, Yerke fled to Kazakhstan with some family members, but two of her children remain in China. *Not her real name

Forced labour and confessions

Dina Nurdybay, 32, was arrested in Nilka county, Xinjiang, because her traditional Kazakh clothing business made her a separatist, according to the Chinese authorities. She spent 11 months between two re-education camps, a CCP school and a forced-labour sewing factory. After proving she was capable of being ‘well behaved’ and having performed a self-criticism in front of the whole village, Dina was released and managed to escape when she obtained a week’s leave to visit her ailing father in Kazakhstan.

Cultural genocide

China’s repression of ethnic minorities also involves cultural genocide. As Muslim rituals are forbidden in Xinjiang, people are trying to keep their traditions alive across borders. Here, a family is praying together in Kazakhstan after the death of one of their relatives in Xinjiang. They could not repatriate the body because the border between the two countries was closed at the time.

(continue reading)