#and if not well then I've lost 50 bucks

[katboykirby]

Calling it right now that Simeon is gonna become a demon (or he's turned into a demon already)

Not for any particular reason, I just want to throw my guess down on the table and make a prediction before we actually find out what's going on. Putting all my money on demon! Simeon just on the off chance I end up being right.

Bookmark this post.

And if I do end up being right (even though it's unlikely) I can be all really fucking smug about it.

[winwintea]

nct vs haunted house (who you picking to go with you?)

pairing ↬ ot25 nct (127, dream, wayv, wish)

tags ↬ cussing, i roast everyone (sorry not sorry)

author’s note ↬ very lax and lazy shitpost. can y'all pretend like i posted this before november 1st to spare me the embarrassment and shame, thanks. also in no apparent order so you might have to dig for your member. this is the first time i've posted for all the members... also only seen the wayv and dream haunted house videos so it might not be fully accurate.

sakuya

nah why the hell would you pick him. this shit is gonna make a bolt for it and leave you alone inside to defend for yourself. if it's a haunted house walkthrough, he's gonna speedrun it and save himself, not you. if it's a horror escape room he's probably gonna get jumpscared, but will distract himself by laughing at you. NOT HELPFUL AT ALL, somehow manages to break everything. (0/10 partner, made me cry afterwards. this is why i hate children /j)

winwin

you've got like a 50/50 chance of surviving this thing. winwin's scared out of his wits when it comes to haunted houses, but in an actual stressful situation he thinks very logically. given the right circumstance, he doesn't make dumb choices, and can actually progress through the haunted house fairly easy. his only flaw is that when he gets jumpscared he has extreme reactions and always is on the floor. (6/10 partner, just make sure he isn't pulling you to the ground as well.)

haechan

no sane person would pick him, are you okay? i mean he's kinda unpredictable. either cackling and laughing his ass off or sobbing or straight faced the whole time. when he's scared he demands to be carried, like tf? thought you were supposed to protect me. whatever. actually kinda smart and helpful though like if you're lucky you two can get out just fine. (7/10 partner, because at least he isn't gonna leave you alone to die, you'll die together.)

doyoung

get ready for snarky comments on everything, "i wonder if these people are getting paid minimun wage." or "whoever designed this place needs to go to jail why is everything so ugly looking." he's a NERVOUS WRECK though. starts yapping when he's scared. telling the scare actors to "wait pls" (they won't love you like i love you) they don't listen to him though... very tense, movements are stiff, he has like a 25% chance of actually being helpful. (2.5/10 partner, someone tell him to move faster.)

jaehyun

you picked the nonchalant king himself! he'd probably be a bit scared, maybe a few jerks or flinches from the jumpscares, but nothing too bad. probably laughs at the actors or at the situation, but it's not a mocking laugh. very helpful and you'll definitely make it out of there alive! if you're easily scared no worries! he'll be fine carrying you if he has to. give yourself a pat on the back, you picked well. (10/10 partner i have no complaints)

jisung

someone save this poor baby and you because you two are also not making it out alive today. not very loud screams, but oh my god he clutches his chest and bucks his knees like he's heard the worst news of his life. 15,000 mental breakdowns in the span of a minute. asks random obvious questions and is curious about everything. he's too lost in his own head and thoughts to be really helpful, plus he's too scared to try anything so you really aren't progressing further unless you lock in. (2/10 partner, i love you ji but i gotta survive)

riku

honey idk who lied to you but riku is not brave at all. another stumbler, he's tripping all over the place, sometimes you wonder whether it's on purpose or not. no cause this man spends more time on the floor then actually on his feet. when he's collected himself and believes that there's no reason to be scaried he's gonna aegyo his ass off. which doesn't work lol. might as well use him as a meat shield atp. (3/10 partner, good meat shield /j)

yushi

also a 50/50. very very very helpful and knowledgeable when it comes to solving clues and mysteries. but when it comes to progressing forward and interacting with the scare actors he's not in his element. asks "who's there" as if anyone would answer. also in denial half of the time, "oh it's not that sc- AHJH SHHHH-" runs around and clings to something, probably your arm. (7/10 partner, just the two of us, we can make it if we try! )

hendery

i asked to survive not a distraction for my fears and worries. why is bro singing???? we're supposed to be working and solving the puzzles, no more distractions pls!! he's going to terrorize you just because it's funny, but i'm in a haunted house NOT A COMEDY CLUB. when it comes to solving clues he cooks dogshit!! nobody let him back into a haunted house thanks! (0/10 partner, i need the scare actor to mercy kill me atp)

chenle

why. you know better than to pick him. 100% will scream as loud as he can and sacrifice you in -119 seconds. laughing mess. he's like sakuya and will leave you to fend for yourself. he dngaf. will also terrorize you because it's "funny". unless it's a competition he will not help you at all and pretends like he's helping but he's not doing anything except goofing around. try again. (-143/100 partner, except he doesn't love you like in the skz song)

johnny

you make it out of there purely off of johnny’s dumbass luck. i’m serious. as soon as he’s jump-scared he puts his hands up and turns around like “helll naahhhh” and then he starts scolding the scare actor like he’s their dad ???? or something ?? why the fuck did this turn into a big ass therapy session about how the scare actor could turn their life around and use their talents for something more rewarding in life? (9/10 partner, you only make it out of there because the scare actor tearfully tells you the answers to all the clues and promises johnny he’ll work on bettering himself.)

kun

if you thought his leader mode self would activate you are wrong. completely wrong. first of all he TRIES to act calm and mature, but fails miserably. also he forces you to do everything, go first, because bro is ACTUALLY A COWARD ISTG. at least he's pretty decent at solving problems, but when he gets jump-scared he's too terrified to function, like if was by himself he would get himself killed. (-4/10 partner, i asked for a good partner not a manchild)

yuta

going with the other non-chalant king is also a fairly good choice! except he's even more unbothered and unfazed than jaehyun, you're wondering if you should be more scared of him than the actors. feel bad for the actors though like they get a kick out of scaring people and he's just like "heh. that's funny" not very helpful with puzzles though so you might have to do that yourself! (8/10 partner, you'll probably survive, but you'll do most of the work unfortunately.)

renjun

i think the only other person you could pick that's worse than him on this list is taeyong. CONSTANTLY CLINGING TO YOUR ARM. savagely trying to crack jokes but is scared out of his wits for sure. he's okay with solving clues, renjun is smart, just don't pressure or tease him or he might actually snap. honestly just don't pick renjun to be your partner. (-127/10 partner, why are we still here? just to suffer?)

taeyong

you are 100 percent getting killed today !! congratulations !! or maybe you wanted that? poor bubu was not cut out for this line of work okay. he screams the loudest screams you've ever heard, does not function normally after the first scare. you could've picked anyone else and maybe you would've had a 99.99% chance of dying instead of 100. (-553/10 partner, PICK BETTER PLEASE. i'm so fucking mad /hj)

ten

he's a runner he's a track star !! he's literally a cat. what else did you expect? him to not be a scaredy cat? when u call him out for being unhelpful or too scared he'll gaslight tf out of you. he'll also deflect and start saying everything you're doing wrong as if you aren't the ONLY PERSON DOING ANYTHING AT ALL?? “stop pushing me” EXCUSE ME? YOU PUSHED ME? makes me so mad, but at least he sometimes is helpful i guess. (-40/10 partner, you should know better than to pick him.)

sion

better than kun maybe on par with winwin i'd say. his leader mode is definitely more active here, also tries to play up and be brave, gets scared very easily but it's okay. he reacts quickly and that's honestly all that matters in a haunted house bc if you can get out of that inital shock and think logically about the situation you can survive about anything. very good with puzzles i don't think he's a bad option! (8/10 partner, jaehyun maybe enlisting in a couple of days but at least we have sion)

jeno

might be the one of the best options out of all of these clowns. but again nct is a circus and they are so unpredictable. i would feel safe with jeno though. he's suspiciously quiet, and not very reactive when it comes to the scares. very smart too like he solves the puzzles in seconds too. take jeno with you and you are LIVING TO SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL! (12/10 partner, very satisfied would recommend. )

xiaojun

you picking xiaojun is like whoever tf seulgi is singing to that knows 28 reasons to run away but chooses to depend on her anyways. LIKE CMON. xiaojun definitely scares himself. also he's really loud in general like you need something to shut him up with. bad at puzzles, okay with scares, idk if you're gonna survive broski. (2/10 partner, maybe xiaojun has dumb luck and you'll survive, who knows.)

ryo

way more mature than sakuya, i'm convinced you will actually survive! this little maltese is very brave and will definitely go first if you're too scared. also willing to throw hands but let's talk about that later you will make it out of there in decent time, and not struggle that much. may get a little bit scared, but he regains his courage very easily! (10/10 partner, guys i love ryo a lot. he's literally my child.)

jaemin

yes jaemin is a good pick, he’s not that phased by scare actors and will even try to talk to some of them about their day. spreads positivity but will probably mock you for being too scared if you get scared by the jump-scares. if you can deal with that you should be fine. he’s not as good as jeno is with the puzzles but can hold his own weight fairly well. “can we go again?” absolutely not. (8/10 partner, would’ve been higher but for that last comment he’s getting marked down a couple of points.)

jungwoo

just because this man isn’t vocal when he’s scared does not mean he isn’t shitting himself right now. instead of screaming, he opts to stumble and fall instead. any little noise will make him jump, even if it’s caused by himself. closes his eyes because “i can’t get scared if i can’t see them!” he was incorrect. jungwoo can in fact get scared if he can’t see them. (0/10 partner, no negatives for jungwoo but you probably won’t survive.)

mark

best option in my opinion. the only leader who calms down the fastest and reacts the best. i mean he deals with haechan and chenle on a daily basis so he has some practice. all his years of testing his patience has prepared him for this moment. deep inside he’s paranoid as hell, but that really doesn’t distract him from getting you two out of there as quickly as he can. extremely motivated and works hard to solve the puzzles. (17/10 partner, much better than his egg making abilities!)

jaehee

he thought it was going to be fun. it was not. “this was NOT a good idea. oh MY GOd-“ pointing to every little thing, “did you see that”. okay but his prediction game is kinda on point though. thanks to his paranoia he manages to predict all the jumpscares. so eventually you two come up with a plan to scare the actors themselves which actually works surprisingly, and lessens your worries about the whole thing. maybe it was fun after all. (8/10 partner, you got banned from coming back though)

yangyang

now most of y’all might think that yy will whine and scream and cry in a haunted house. and, you’re not wrong! but in terms of the pussy-ness scale against the rest of these clowns, yangyang is actually pretty good at this. he’ll flinch, react, scream, and run away, but he takes the lead. willingly to go first, even if he himself is shaking in his thousand dollar shoes the entire time. good at puzzles too! (7/10 partner, so good so bad like whatever zb1 said!)

perm taglist ↬ @lyvhie @aquaphoenixz @ldh0000 @galacticnct

[billlydear]

pairing: billy hargrove x steve harrington / WC: 4501

summary: based on this post by @ariesbilly (i was anon), el shops rather creatively for billy's birthday and steve has some things to say about his new look

this will be crossposted on AO3 as soon as i've got the time to set up a new account there. i hope you enjoy, and please consider leaving some feedback! also, i've got a harringroveson spidey/venom au in the works, so please let me know if you'd like to see that :-)

Billy’s genuinely, truly concerned when Jim pulls him aside at his little birthday dinner, and not just because he’s still a tiny bit wary around the man. He hasn’t done anything awful yet, so far there’s not a bone in his body that resembles his dad’s, but Billy’s lived with Neil all his life, and Jim only a few months. He’s getting better, but he’s not there yet.

“Listen,” Jim murmurs, taking the hand he’d used to usher Billy into the kitchen off of his arm. Billy appreciates it, it’s like Jim knows he doesn’t like being grabbed; like he pays attention to Billy’s comfort.

“She’s come a long way,” Jim praises El, “-but gift giving for anyone but Max is… hard. She just shops for herself, it’s like-” Jim rubs an exasperated hand over the scruff on his chin, leaned up against the kitchen counter while Billy leans in slightly to hear his low voice, “It’s like she finds something she likes. And since she likes the person she’s giving it to, she equates the two. ‘Thinks that whatever she likes, they’ll like too. That’s why I drink out of that glittery cup every morning,” Jim gestures to the tumbler currently drying on the rack, ‘BFF’ written in white loopy letters on the plastic, “She’s got the spirit, just not the know-how. And I was really trying to get her to branch out for you, I took her to the mall but she beelined for Claire’s, and-” Jim sighs, shooting a cautious glance back to the living room where the girls are waiting with their gifts, “Just- please act like you like ‘em. If you want, I’ll give you the receipt, and you can return them for cash, just- humor her. Please.”

“Okay,” Is all Billy says, really all he can think of saying, and Jim reaches out to pat his bicep.

“Thanks,” His shoulders slump in relief, “Alright, birthday boy, let’s get going.”

Billy’s used to birthday gifts, but not nice ones. If he was lucky, he’d get gas money for the week from his dad, but that’s only because Susan insisted on acknowledging the day. Gifts have always been an obligation, never a gesture, so sitting on the couch in front of three tissue-paper-stuffed bags is a bit daunting for the man.

“Mine first,” Max demands, pushing her bag forward. Billy sends her what he hopes she perceives as a smile, a small twitch at the corners of his lips. They’ve gotten a lot better with each other now that Neil’s not goading Billy anymore, and Billy’s glad for it.

Inside there’s a gift card to a surf shop he’d worked at one summer back in California. He doesn’t even know if there’s anything on it - for all he knows, she found it in a box of his old stuff - but just seeing the logo of the place makes him nostalgic, and his barely-smile blooms into an unbridled one. The gift of memory is one he didn’t know he’d appreciate this much.

“Damn,” He huffs out a laugh, plucking the thin plastic out of the tissue, “Where’d you find this?”

“I wrote to my grandma,” Max confesses, “There’s 50 bucks on there, but for the record, all I sent her to put on there was 20.”

Billy remembers Max’s grandma; they’d visited her once. She was awesome, but the kind of awesome that made parents distrust her, and contact was lost after the move to Hawkins. The old lady had crammed Billy and Max into the back of her cluttered bug to get ice cream after Neil and Susan had gone to bed, and it was nice for Billy to hear she was still doing well.

“Thanks,” Billy laughs, almost a scoff as he reaches out to ruffle her hair. She pretends to hate it, maybe she does a little, but she lets him, which is like another birthday gift: Annoying Privileges.

He sees a flash of black as he puts the gift card back in the tissue, and it explains why the tiny plastic was wrapped so excessively.

Don’t show Hopper, the note reads, with an arrow down, so he discretely peels away the paper to find three cartons of cigarettes beneath it. He’ll worry about how she got them later, for now he shoots her a smirk that she returns.

“Alright, mine’s kinda-” Jim fumbles for his bag, “-tied into hers. Here, kid.”

The tissue crinkles under Billy’s fingers, and he peers down into the blue bag to see a paper.

He pulls it out, squinting at the fine print.

It’s a hotel booking. A hotel in California, shit, right by the beach.

“I already called you off of work,” Jim smiles at Billy, “It’s about a month from now. Only condition is you take the girls with you, they’ve got their own room and we’ll send ‘em with gas money.”

Max’s grin is bright, and Billy knows this is just as much of a gift for her as it is for him. His chest feels tight, like each word on the page had sucked air out of his lungs until there was none left, and now he’s struggling to breathe. He’s wanted to go back since the moment he left, but his dad never would have let him, and moving in with Jim and El then immediately fleeing the state seemed rude, so he’s grateful for the push. He doesn’t even know how to begin thanking Jim, so he starts with the words themselves.

“Thank you,” Billy croaks, trying not to let a gush of emotions overwhelm him. “Seriously, I-” His voice wavers and he clamps his mouth shut, looking down and pinching his fingers along the folded crease of the paper to thin it down even more, “Thank you, Jim.”

“Don’t mention it,” Jim reaches out again, gives him that little pat pat to the bicep instead of trying to hug him. Billy thinks just for that, he will let Jim hug him next time.

Once Billy’s regained his composure and only let one gruff sniffle slip, El is handing over her bag.

“Mine was not as much money as theirs,” She looks serious, like Billy’s going to backhand her for not renting them an RV for the trip, “I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” Jim starts, ready to console her and teach her an etiquette lesson, but Billy lets out a weak chuckle.

“Don’t worry about it, El.” He tugs at the tissue paper, “One time I wrote I.O.U. on a piece of paper for Max’s birthday.”

El’s brows furrow at the unfamiliar phrase, and Max leans in, “It means I owe you, like, ‘I owe you one’. He didn’t get me anything.”

“I offered you something,” Billy gripes, pausing in his unwrapping efforts, “Not my fault you chucked it out.”

“Oh, no,” Max laughs, “I still have it. But I wasn’t gonna waste it on arcade tokens. I’m gonna make it count, you’re gonna bail me out of a bad party or lie to the cops about-”

She reconsiders, looking at Hopper who’s stiffened slightly, his eyes narrowed at her, “-Nothing. Lying to cops is bad.”

“Nice save,” Billy deadpans, ducking his head back down towards the bag. The tissue inside is messy, he can tell El did it herself. 

Beneath the first layer of tissue, the stuff crumpled up to give the present volume, there’s six individually wrapped packages. Billy’s stomach does a little flip; call it nerves, call it endearment, but whatever it is, he reaches for the first package without paying it any mind.

His fingers peel at the tape sticking it all together, and his strong grip rips the tissue. He goes with it, tearing into the gift, and a purple plastic card falls into his hand. It’s punched in two places near the middle, and inside each hole is an earring. They’re- not his style.

They’re studs, little balls of gel in rainbow colors with squishy spikes sticking out of them. They honestly look like something a kindergartener would make with a hot glue gun, but there’s an expectant smile on El’s face and Billy finds himself smiling back at her, genuinely so.

“Thanks, El,” He flips the package over, price tag ripped off messily and silver backings staring at him, “These are cool.”

“I know you like earrings. There’s more,” She prompts him, the section of her hair that she’s tied up bouncing as she leans forward enthusiastically, “Open them.”

“Okay,” He laughs, setting the earrings aside. The second package yields another pair, this time two pieces of bread with little smiley faces on them, one painted brown for peanut butter and the other purple for jelly.

“That’s cute,” Billy laughs breathily, “That’ll go good with my purple button up.”

“Mhm,” El nods, hair once again bouncing, “That’s what I thought.”

As Billy expects, each package contains a pair of earrings. He gets tiny springs, a gradient of pink to purple to blue covering the curved metal, and they look like they’d be permanently damaged if he stretched them out even once. Then a pair of jellyfish-inspired ones, a clay head with a smile on its face connected by metal rings to all of the tentacles dangling below. Next are lollipops, stiff sticks leading into plastic that’s swirled in design and shaped like a bear’s head with yet another smiley face. Each little black curve on the earrings’ faces only makes his own grow. The fifth pair are meant to look like goldfish, suspended in resin that fills the bowl to make it look like they’re swimming in water. It’s the most intricate pair of earrings he’s ever seen, he’ll give Claire that. The final pair is much bigger than the others, and when he unwraps it, a pom-pom sticks out.

They’re big puffballs, tie-dyed pink and purple, connected to a peace sign stud that goes through his ear. They’re obnoxious, something you’d only see on a child whose grandparents had bought the biggest pair of earrings they could find because their vision was too poor to appreciate any smaller designs. Nevertheless, Billy pops the squishy backing off of one of them, and sticks it between his teeth. He slips his own earring out of his ear, and tucks it into the breast pocket of the shirt he’s wearing. He sticks the puffball into his ear right then and there, and El’s grin is almost unbearably wide.

“It looks pretty,” She gushes, and Billy laughs.

“Thank you, El.” He gives her the obligatory brotherly hair ruffle as well, but she looks honored compared to Max’s exasperation. In leaning forwards to reach her, the metal point of the second earring digs into Billy’s palm where he’s holding the card still, and he glances down at it thoughtfully.

“Here,” He thinks fast, plucking the backing off of it and handing it to El, “Let’s match.”

She looks at it wide-eyed, caught off guard, “You want me to wear the other one?”

“Duh,” He nods, hand still outstretched, “How else are people gonna know who bought them for me?”

She’s more than happy to snatch the second earring from him, sliding it into her own pierced ear and shivering slightly at the feeling of the fluff brushing against her skin. 

“Alright,” Jim claps, a loud, striking sound, “You guys look great. Cake time?”

“Cake time,” Max agrees, already rising to her knees to stand and head for the kitchen, “Chocolate, Billy, your favorite.”

Billy’s all Thank you’d out. Not because he’s not thankful for this, because he’s more than that, but because he’s said it so many times today that the words are starting to lose their meaning, and he doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want to be insincere, so he’ll save the ‘Thank you’s for when they really count.

Max and El settle on the floor in front of the tv to watch the movie they’ve picked out, clearly one that Jim hadn’t seen until now.

“Oh, not Terminator,” He reaches for the television to shut it off, but both girls scramble to fight him off, “It’s rated R, girls!”

“It’s Billy’s favorite,” Max huffs, and that’s not true, but he knows nothing in the movie will shock her, and El grew up being bounced around dimensions, so she probably won’t lose any sleep over a bit of blood.

“It’s true,” Billy drawls settling back on the couch with his cake and his beer (that Jim only reluctantly handed him because it’s his birthday), “But it’s fine, Jim, we don’t have to watch what I want, they can turn on My Little Pony or some shit.”

Jim wonders briefly how he’s been outsmarted by two tweens and a teenager. If he says no, he’s the asshole that ruins Billy’s birthday. If he says yes, the girls are going to see gratuitous shots of naked Arnold Schwarzenegger that he’d rather them not witness.

“You cover your eyes for the first scene,” Jim finally concedes, narrowing his eyes at Max and El, “I mean it, no peeking or I’ll do it for you.”

“Okay,” They agree, already far too amused for Jim’s liking, and Max turns to grin mischievously at Billy. It’s nice, he thinks, to do dumb shit with her. Like real siblings.

The movie starts, and Jim’s a bit too preoccupied eagle-eyeing the girls to make sure they’re not seeing anything raunchy to notice that Billy’s paying more attention than he ought to be. But once the man straightens back up so does Billy, mentally so, and turns his attention to Jim when he leans over towards Billy.

“Hey,” Jim’s whisper is gruff, but El doesn’t hear, “Thanks for that. She’s really happy.”

“No problem,” Billy admits, “They’re… different, but they’re kinda cool.”

Jim laughs, and Billy gets the sense that Jim doesn’t think he’s being sincere, but really, he is. The earrings themselves aren’t kinda cool, a year ago he’d rather have pitched himself into the quarry than wear rainbow-colored springs dangling from his ears, or a smiley piece of peanut butter toast, but what’s kinda cool is that someone gave them to him because they thought he’d like them; because they like him. 

What’s kinda cool is love, Billy figures out that night, and his cake tastes a little sweeter because of it.

--

El doesn’t usually accompany Billy to work at the auto shop, but that’s only because he leaves too early for her to be awake yet. She’s recently discovered sleeping in, and sometimes she’s not awake before two in the afternoon. Now, though, she’s bursting with excitement for the California trip, even though it’s not for another month. Billy hadn’t slept with the puffball earring in, but he’d put it right back on this morning, and so had El. They’re sitting behind the counter now, planning an itinerary for the trip he’s not too stressed about, because he knows El will lose the paper before they leave in a month.

“And we have to go to In-n-Out,” She decides, “I know those are in California.”

“Yeah,” Billy laughs, “They’re not that good. I mean, I like ‘em, but there’s good burger places everywhere. They have these palm trees though,” He moves  his hands to cross over each other, “They cross like an ‘x’, it’s pretty cool. My friend tried to climb one once, we got kicked out.”

El giggles, and her eyes wrinkle at the corners with the expression. Billy likes it, he wonders if his own eyes scrunch when he laughs. But he doesn’t do it very often, and especially not in front of a mirror, so he might never know.

She excuses herself to go to the bathroom, so Billy turns his attention to their customer log instead. There’s a man coming by in two hours to pick up his car, but the repairs are complete, so Billy doesn’t have to do anything about it. And there’s another customer coming at five for an oil change, but it’s only eight in the morning. He hears the scrape of wheels on gravel, and he cranes his neck to see over the reception desk and out the door.

Fuck. It’s a red beemer, one he knows almost better than his own car because of how frequently he’d crammed his camaro in beside it in the high school parking lot. It’s Steve Harrington’s car, and that means Steve Harrington came with it.

Billy tugs on the hem of his tank, tightening the shirt over his chest. It’s not that he wants to look good for Steve, it’s just- well, no, that’s it. The banter he’d shared with Steve over their time at Hawkins High was the most tension he’d felt in his entire life, and it came at a time when he sought thrill and excitement the most; apparently being sweat-covered, shirtless opponents on the basketball court does things to a man’s head. He’s not naive enough to think he’s gonna be able to sweep the guy off of his feet with one suave remark, not when just last week Max had somehow convinced the man to give her a ride back home from Jim’s place after a sleepover, and Steve had seen Billy bleary-eyed, messy-haired, and pajama-clad. He’d tried to own it, leaned back on the couch with his legs spread, one arm up on the back of the couch and exposed by the shirt he was wearing as he nodded with a lazy grin at Steve, ‘Morning, Harrington’. If he’d squinted, he could see a bit of pink coloring Steve’s cheeks. But a success or not, the experience was embarrassing, and he’s glad that he’s a little more put together today. 

Billy forgets just how put together he is today. He feels the soft brush of the fuzzy earring against his neck right as Steve starts towards the store, and his stomach drops.

He has a very important choice to make.

He can take the earring out, giving him a better chance at this coy little game they have going, and subsequently insult his new sister, or, he could leave it in, puff up his chest with pride, and greet Steve with confidence, ultimately risking his win.

He almost tears his ear from how hard he rips the earring out.

“Harrington,” Billy drawls, “Car trouble?”

“Battery’s dead,” The man huffs, and there’s sweat beading at Steve’s hairline, “I had to push’er down the street, I was getting groceries.”

Billy feels like a cartoon character; he almost audibly gulps at the thought of Steve muscling his car down the road. He wonders if Steve could see his Adam’s apple bobbing if he really did dry swallow. He wonders if Steve would watch.

“Tough luck,” Billy sends Steve a lazy grin, passing the sign-in book over the counter with a pen, “Just fill that out, I’ll get your service started.”

“Thanks,” Steve mumbles, “Got an estimate?”

“Depends,” Billy shrugs, “I might do you a favor and replace those ugly seats you’ve got, too. That’ll cost extra.”

“Like your car’s hot shit,” Steve scoffs, but his tone isn’t demeaning, and Billy’s chest does that weird tight thing again when he realizes they’ve advanced to friendly banter, “Do you know how ugly that blue and yellow license plate looks against the blue of your car?”

He laughs, but before Billy can quip back, say that it’s California grade, that he’d rather die than replace it, the door to the back opens up, and El comes out.

“Steve!” She smiles sweetly, “Is your car broken?”

“Yeah,” He laments, eyeing her accessory, “Woah, crazy earring.”

“Billy has one, too.” She brags, then notices it’s missing from his ear. Billy’s stiffened where he’s rifling through the desk drawers for a form to give Steve, and before he can make any excuses, El spots the puffball where it’s fallen to the floor.

“Oh!” She lunges for it, handing it to Billy with a sweet smile, “It fell out. Here it is.”

Billy has another choice to make.

Scoff at her, say ‘nice one’, and tell her to put her earring back in. Or, take it from her and embarrass himself in front of Steve.

This time, he decides she’s ultimately more important.

“Thanks, El.” He grins at her, taking the puffball from her hand and hooking it expertly through his ear. It dangles against his neck, and he passes the form over to Steve who’s looking between the two of them with some sort of guarded amusement.

“Fill this out, too.” Billy instructs, “And I’ll start on your car.”

“O-kay,” Steve complies, more of that amusement painting his features as he ducks his head to fill out the form, “Pink looks good on you, Hargrove.”

Billy shuts the door to the back room as a response. He feels like punching the wall, because did that mean ‘good’ as in good? Or good as in ‘ridiculous’? He’s well aware Steve had a mean streak in high school, and Billy isn’t interested in being bullied.He’s never worried about being bullied by his peers before, he was always on top. Now it’s different, this isn’t high school and he doesn’t have backup boys to make his posse. It’s a one-on-one fight, and Steve’s got the advantage. And- and if it did mean good, what’s he supposed to do with that information? Wear a pink shirt the next time he sees Steve? Go as Pink Panther for halloween? He considers just about everything but dying his hair, mind swirling with possibilities.

He starts on Steve’s car to distract himself, and he barely manages to gather the courage to take his shirt off to push Steve’s beemer into the garage like he’d originally planned. He still does, of course. But it’s a hard decision to make.

--

“Steve,” El steps out from behind the counter, walking over to where Steve’s flipping through an old Highlights that Billy’s boss keeps there for kids, “What did you get Billy for his birthday?”

The man flounders, “Uh, when’s his birthday?”

El’s brows furrow, “It was yesterday. You didn’t get him anything?”

“No,” Steve shakes his head, “Sorry, El. I’m sure he didn’t expect me to, though, ‘probably didn’t hurt his feelings.”

“But friends give each other birthday presents.” She insists, “Why didn’t you?”

“He’s not my friend,” Steve grimaces slightly, but backtracks when El only gets more scandalized, “We- I… Ugh,’ He groans, rubbing a hand down his face, “We, like, hated each other in high school or something. I think he’s only nice to me now ‘cause he has to be, we’re all friendly, y’know?”

“Billy likes you,” El promises, “That’s why he comes out of his room when he knows you’re coming over. And why he always takes us to get ice cream. He likes seeing you.”

“Uh, I think-” Steve stammers, heart pounding so viciously he can hear it, “That’s probably… not what that means. Hey, um, do you have any water I could have? I’m really thirsty from pushing my car.”

He’s out from under her scrutinous gaze for long enough to compose himself, tamping down any hope she might have given him. It doesn’t help that he’s first heard Billy’s genuine laugh today, and the vision of the man’s bright eyes, scrunched and wrinkled at the corners have been plaguing him ever since. Things need to stop piling up, he decides.

When she gets back she sits in the chair beside him, one leg bent beneath her and the other firmly planted on the floor, “You should get him a birthday present.”

Steve hums, bringing the cup she hands him to his lips to buy him time to respond. Eventually, he settles on, “I’ll try to find something,” and she seems to like that answer, so she lets it go.

“I got him earrings,” She explains, and pieces of the puzzle start to fall into place in Steve’s head, “The ones that he’s wearing now. And five other pairs.”

“Wow,” Steve nods, feigning awe even though he knows Jim probably paid for them himself, “That was nice of you. He liked ‘em?”

“Yes,” She nods, “He likes earrings. And he said he’s going to wear them with me when we go to California.”

“California,” Steve echoes, brows raised, “That’s nice. When are you going?”

“In a month,” El recites, “Billy’s from California.”

“Yeah,” Steve nods, eyes drawn to Billy’s framed employee picture on the wall, noticing the tan adorning the smooth skin of his handsome face, “I know.”

--

“Okay,” Billy turns to look at the girls in his backseat, bright smiles on both of their faces, “Gas money?” 

“Check,” Max slides him a wad of cash, and so does El.

“Snacks?” Billy pulls his wallet out, stuffing the bills inside.

“Check!” El takes over this time, a plastic bag in her hand that’s filled with enough ziploc bags of goldfish to last them halfway through the road trip. 

“Bags?” 

“Check,” Max jabs a thumb towards the camaro’s trunk, “We didn’t forget our suitcases, Billy.”

“If you did, and I hadn’t asked, you would have blamed me,” Billy narrows his eyes at his stepsister, “Don’t make me push you out of the moving car.”

What can he say: things are better, they’re not perfect. She knows he’s joking, though, she sticks out her tongue in response.

“I have one more thing,” El calls, effectively breaking up Billy and Max’s banter. The two look curiously at her, and she passes Billy an envelope, thick towards the bottom left corner.

“It’s a late birthday present.” She informs him, “Open it. It’s for the trip.”

“El,” Billy tears at the envelope with a confused furrow in his brow, “You got me stuff for my birthday. Why more?”

“It’s not from me,” She admits, “Just open it.”

The envelope was sealed well, by whoever sealed it. Billy all but mangles the paper to remove its contents, and when he does, a pair of earrings falls out, mounted on a purple plastic card. Claire’s.

There’s a pink and white striped surfboard on the left side, and a glitter-covered palm tree on the left. There’s a note inside too, and Billy peels it apart much more cautiously than he had the envelope.

Billy,

Happy birthday. Enjoy California.

- Steve

P.S: I wasn’t kidding. You look good in pink.

Billy nearly rips the earring card trying to wrench the surfboard off. Once he gets it out, he slides it into his ear, passing the palm tree back to El and grinning at the girls through his rear-view mirror. He admires the way that the earring looks against his tanned skin, and- oh, look at that; his eyes do scrunch when he smiles.

“Ready?” He raises a brow, sunglasses perched on his head and lost in his curls  in wait of the California sun.

“Ready,” They confirm, and El’s nod sends the palm tree earring swinging beside her face.

Billy revs the engine, and it’s never been a happier sound, “California, here we come.”

[spin-linn]

A Small Snippet from a story I'm writing

Heroes United [Working Title]: a Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons novel

Hiccup’s POV:

The trail we followed to Old Corona was littered with a few too many tree roots and chuck holes for my taste. It was like a war zone, and the battle was being waged against my lack of agility. I tripped and teetered over so many times I lost count. I would have smashed my face against a sunken boulder had it not been for Jack, who quickly yanked me upright by the shirt collar just as I began to topple over a huge crack in the obliterated cobblestone road.

“Jings, you're as wobbly as a newborn foal,” Merida chortled after watching my clumsiness take over for the umpteenth time.

I gave her an irritated glare. “Yeah, yeah,” I muttered, shrugging her delightful personality off. “I get it, I'm a klutz. Tell me a new one.”

“As you wish,” she took my sarcasm as a challenge. “You're also as stubborn as a buckin’ cuddy.”

“Whoa! Watch your mouth, Mer!” Jack cackled, taking her words to be off-color.

“She wasn't cursing,” I chuckled, realizing Jack wasn't as well-versed in Scottish lingo as I was. As much as the Vikings hated them, my dad and a lot of the other adults sure enjoyed borrowing a lot of their slang and vernacular. I grew up hearing it a lot, so one could say I was fluent. I knew what a cuddy was. “She just called me a horse,” I explained. “Like, a wild one that someone's trying to ride for the first time. That's why she said I was like a bucking cuddy.”

“Oh, okay,” he seemed to understand, “like a bucking bronco, then? I know rodeos.”

“What the heck's a bronco?” I gave him a confused glance. “Or a rodeo?”

“Seriously? It's another word for a horse.”

“Innae no horse I've ever heard of,” Merida scoffed.

“Jeez Louise! It's an unbroken horse!” Jack enunciated, holding back laughter. He seemed to be reaping as much fun out of the strange conversation as he could. “And a rodeo is like a big show where people do horseback tricks and try to ride broncos or bulls.”

“Show riding, huh?” That got my attention. “We do that with our dragons from time to time back on Berk! Toothless and I have gotten pretty good at air tricks.”

“I can hit a bullseye from 50 paces on horseback,” Merida interjected, bragging to herself. “Been practicing for months.”

“That's impressive, Mer, but I would say barrel racing and lassoing cattle isn't exactly like that,” Jack chuckled, shaking his head. “You've clearly never seen a cowboy movie.”

“Now we're talking about cows?” My confusion only grew. “What even is this conversation?” I threw my hands up in defeat, beginning to laugh in spite of myself. “Now I'm lost.”

“I guess you could also call him a ‘brumby’, Mer,” mused Jack, still preoccupied with the whole “cuddy” confusion. “Picked that one up from a friend 'down undah',” he said with a funny accent.

“I have absolutely no idea what's going on back there,” Rapunzel called back to us as she led the path, studying Cassandra's notebook. “But I am enjoying the chaos.”

“Join the club, Punz!” I started to laugh.

_______________

If you've stuck around this long, thanks for reading! The story this is from has been a passion project for almost 10 years. I'm writing it as a form of therapy, and I'm not planning to post the finished product anywhere as of now.

I've been working on this story for several months now, and I'm just really proud of this dialogue exchange. I wanted to share it, even though I don't intend to share the whole story. Thanks for bearing with me, and I hope you enjoyed it!

[bomberqueen17]

a lil mini sew-along

So @sassaffrassa and I and a couple of friends decided to do an informal kinda sewalong just to get ourselves moving on I'm Gonna Sew Stuff One Day I Promise.

Sew Liberated was having a sale, so we decided to try the Matcha Top, which at the time was like eleven bucks. Why not. So we got the PDFs and each went through our various travails of printing them out and whatnot. And I'm just gonna talk about the process here, in case anybody else was thinking about getting into sewing, and kind of a review of the pattern. Day 1: Prepare the pattern, and look up other reviews, and figure out what the heck you're getting yourself into.

So, the Matcha Top. it's one of S-L's older offerings, and it only goes up to a size 24. Which is a 48.5" bust, by the measurement table. But it also says there's twelve inches of ease at the bust in the finished garment. Okay so yeah no, this will fit my 50" bust then, no worries. It goes on to say that the only real important measurement is your shoulder measurement. So I measure my shoulder, from where I'd want one sleevehead to be to the other, around the back of my neck, and I get 16", which puts me in a size 10. Uhhh.....

I read a bunch of reviews, which all agreed this thing fits real boxy so you can size down pretty freely, and then I looked at the pattern pieces. Well, the only thing that really matters is that shoulder fit, and the collar. I draped the collar piece around my neck and decided I did want the biggest size there, so I just. Went ahead and cut a straight size 24, and I figure I will take in excess in my toile. I am making a nice wearable toile though, with nice fabric, it's just not expensive fabric. Because I figure, it's a boxy top in flowy fabric, whatever size it ends up being will probably be fine.

Looking at the pattern pieces I am slightly skeptical of the grading. I'm used to seeing like... contours, but these are just straight-up every single pattern piece is expanded in size the same amount from one size to the next, regardless of things like... a plus-size person's skeleton is not larger than a straight-size person's, so it is bonkers to scale up the shoulder at the same rate as you scale up the squishy areas like the bust. So the pattern direction to just cut the size that fits the shoulders is probably correct. The size 24 shoulder is not actually knowledgeably scaled to fit a human being. Somebody "graded" this with a rolling ruler. Ah well. Reviews suggest the more recent patterns by this company are better, so I won't get too mad. But do keep that in mind, as you look at this.

Well, so I marked on my shoulder detail piece where the size 14 line would be, and expect I will trim it down, and use that to place the sleeve, and there'll just be a lot of excess fabric at the armscye that I'll have to trim off. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Or I'll, idk, put some pleats in under that shoulder detail. It has you attach it pretty early. I might be prepared to unpick this thing a few times.

I fondled my fabric stash, decided on a drapey rayon-cotton(?) mystery challis, and the collar and shoulder details in a contrasting cotton-poly solid. Got that cut out one evening when nobody was around. (It does say in the pattern instructions to use something with good drape. I looked at pattern reviews and yeah anyone who used linen or a stiff quilting cotton got a boxy fit out of it. You really want drape here.)

Then I lost my mind due to the stress of house remodeling, and after I'd ironed interfacing onto the collar and shoulder details, I embroidered on them. Why? IDK but it gave me something to fixate on for a couple of hours while there was demolition happening in my house and I couldn't get to my sewing machine.

[image: two stiff black pieces of fabric with blue swirls embroidered on them, and chalk marks visible where I've futzed with sizing and the embroidery design. yeah they're wildly different sizes but whatever it's handmade charm *jazz hands*]

So anyway.

That's where I'm at, and I'm hoping this afternoon/evening I'll have time to do some sewing.

[sugarywishes]

Going in the post FNAF6 events, is there any other notable changes of note in this AU? Like changes to the games before Security Breach, different animatronics, etc, or is it pretty much one to one otherwise?

Okay, so this is where my rewrite starts to become a little...weirder than usual since I changed a LOT about post FNAF 6, (although believe me the security breach part will need its own post!) Reminder that this is still very much a work in progress, I haven't fully finished thinking the whole thing out yet, so as time goes on there is a possibility of lore updates or changes, answers below as usual!

Well for FNAF UCN, I know there's people who think that Andrew (i don't actually know who this is, but it's some kid from the books) is 'The One You Should Not Have Killed'/TOYSNHK, but lowkey i think that's stupid and I have decided to not include him. As I've said plenty of times before this rewrite does not include ANYTHING from the books (okay I lied there's a handful of things from the books that I've altered to fit into my story because I like the idea of it, but I'll list ALL the changes of the rewrite in another post if people are interested!)

Cassidy is TOYSNHK. Old Man Consequences is Henry, I guess. And yes, UCN is Afton's afterlife prison created by Cassidy, but it's not his real afterlife destination. He probably could've been able to escape sooner it had it not been for Cassidy constantly torturing him. And also Afton comes back I guess. Besides that everything is the same! (Mostly because, does this game really matter? It's basically just a spin off)

Anyways onto Help Wanted, I guess the only changes are just handfuls!

As we know in canon, Fazbear Ent. hired Silver Parasol Games to create a game trivializing and mocking the company's past to make a quick buck and probably to get people off their back about it. However an incident involving a beta tester named Jeremy (I'll get back to that in a sec) caused production of the game to halt, and development of the game was sent to another unknown company (presumably Fazbear Ent. Maybe?) But I'm altering some of that.

Silver Parasol Games does not exist in my rewrite. Instead the development company working on the game is a branch of the Fazbear Ent. Company, mostly because I feel like it makes sense for this moronic business to employ their own workers to do stuff for them at a cheaper rate than actually pay another studio more money to get things done. While the incident with Jeremy still occurred, the game halted production because Fazbear Ent. had to deal with the legal issues cause yk...one of your employees disfigured himself and probably a few people saw that. And after that was dealt with (rather swiftly, they probably bribed a few people here and there) the game production continued.

As for tape girl in this rewrite, uh...idk, I made her Vanessa/Vanny. I know there's probably some evidence out there that is like "but they're two different people you idiot !!" And yeah I'm sure they probably are but whatever, this rewrite has way too many characters and I'm not dealing with that. I felt like it didn't make sense for Tape Girl to not deal with Glitchtrap herself instead of getting the player to do it themselves. Like you said you knew a way to get rid of him, so...why didn't you do it earlier?? Anyways the way I'm changing Tape Girl and her lore is gonna be weird to explain, but that's for me to refine later in life!

Anyways, back to Jeremy, I made the choice to not make him Jeremy Fitzgerald, because 1. I feel bad for the poor dude already, he already lost half his head, does he need to lose his whole face too?? 2. Jeremy in HW isn't too important anyway, so no point in bringing Jeremy back just to kill him off (I mean J. Fitzgerald isn't that important either, but 🤷🤷) and 3. He would be too fucking old for this! During 1983 he was about 15-16 years old, and presuming HW takes place around modern time, he'd probably be in his 40s or 50s I think (maybe 60s idk, there's a reason it's my least favorite subject 💀💀) and like what the hell would he be doing there? Senior citizen ass go to the retirement home bro. And also who the hell would work AGAIN for the company who covered up the time you got your BRAIN BIT OFF by one of their robots??

And yeah Glitchtrap = William Afton. However, he STILL doesn't have any memories of his life as William (and now, he only barely remembers Mike and Henry, his strongest memories are when he was Springtrap and Scraptrap) when he escaped the UCN afterlife prison created by Cassidy, he managed to find out how much things have changed in the company, and more importantly he found out about the game they were developing.

He still wanted to have an immortal life (cause he also vaguely remembers wanting to live longer from when he was still working on reviving Evan, and his 'brain' scrambled it into him wanting to live FOREVER, no dead son here!) And he was like, "well, I guess coming back as a digital entity would be awesome!" But remember there's still a chance of him being fully deleted forever as explained by Tape Girl, so his plan is to infect people with his virus to use them as vessels to live in the real world again (and maybe collect remnant? Idk, this is still an idea I'm debating on keeping in this part, will likely get dropped though.)

(Also, I guess Special Delivery can stay the same in my re-imagining, not much to change about it and I like the Vanny lore!)

Again, I'm still working out the kinks here. This will probably be subjected to change if it calls for it! Any questions, let me know!

[backtoneverland]

Well I guess now that the collection’s complete I can make a merch post about these beasts. Ominous in nature

Please excuse the lighting - hurricane Helene is on her way right now. More pics under the cut!

These dudes are from a 2013 series of peter pan plushes made by the disney store. Its a set of 15 plushes with pretty much all major characters from the original peter pan film! (16 if you count the twin twice). Pretty sure the set was made in celebration of the film turning 60 years old.

also all the prices I mention include shipping and tax fees! All plush received a sponge bath and air dry when I got them

I'll go over them in order of when I got them!

Starting with Slightly - the only one I didn't buy for myself. He was a gift in 2018 - the one i've had the longest. He's traveled outside of the country with me so he's a little roughed up on the back, but otherwise in good condition!

I think they did a good job translating his 2d design into 3d, my main gripe is that they opted for giving him a 1 piece suit instead of a 2 piece suit (the 1 piece suit is his return to neverland design) but thats a problem most Slightly merch has so its not a big complaint.

I really like just the design in general here, the color is great and i think his big nose is really funny. good stuff

Next up is Nibs! Got him in May 2024 for about 29 bucks on Ebay which was a good price. Other than his tail falling off and needing to be sewn back on I've had no issues. Such is the nature of buying a 11 year old stuffed animal

To be honest he is my favorite plush design, his face is perfect and in general the plush is very faithful to his movie counterpart. His big haircut is doofy but Nibs' hair is inconsistent across all disney peter pan media (he's essentially the red headed step child of the lost boys in terms of merch and movie relevancy lmao) and its fun, no complaints here

Then we have Cubby! Bought him on Mercari in August 2024 for 30 bucks.

Definitely the funniest looking of the bunch - that face. He's also pretty flat, not sure if that's just an issue with mine or if thats a problem consistent with all cubby plushes. Not a big gripe but it is funny and again a consequence of buying a well-loved stuffed animal online.

I swear he looks better from the side and the back - that front view is just hilarious. He's seen some things. Overall wonderful and whimsical

Up next is Tootles! I managed to get him still in the bag for about 46 dollars on Ebay in September 2024. Haggled the price down from 50 which was a score

He's the softest one I have, probably due to the fact that he was in a plastic prison for 11 years and untouched by sticky children hands.

The colors are great here and I love his round freckled face. Very cute and the tail is very nice, too

And lastly we have one of the twins! This one broke my wallet costing 80 bucks by the time all was said and done - ouch. Unfortunately thats a steal when compared to the prices for every other twin plush on the market right now. (my twin is the same one in the second listing on that post). Was the price worth it? Seeing as I have a first grade teacher salary and I'm fresh out of college - I'll let you decide. Let's just say theres no plans to get a second twin for the foreseeable future

This dude is great - very appealing colors. His big ass head and tiny feet are also great to look at. I like what they did with his hair - the twin's hair is also inconsistent in nature across disney peter pan media - but I think they struck a good chord with this one!

Overall I'd say yes it was worth buying, especially when all other prices hurt so bad, but still .... ouch.

And that's all I have to say! Overall having these dudes feels like a great part of my collection, I'm glad to have them :]

[thegoldenshi-shi]

So, I have been busy making poor monetary choices again, in which I now own two different types of tablets specifically for art (ONE WAS VERY MUCH ON SALE, THE OTHER HAD A 50 BUCK COUPON, BOTH GOOD REVIEWS), and the first tablet I bought, that's honestly just a way of adding a touchscreen to a computer to me, cause like. It's a sensor pad? Well, it's proving that I can't mentally make myself apply a lot of pressure to technology, which my younger self with a ruined dsi touch screen would gape at. I have also gotten all my shelving units up! Not sure if they're staying where they are, or if I'm gonna move them around again, but I do know two that are staying where they are, mainly cause I am /not/ lifting that shelf all the way back up to chest level to take it back down again. Nuh uh, no ma'am, it will not be done. It's also gotten all my collectibles on it already, which has proven that I need to devote more of my budget to the Twins than Screamer. My frenemesis would be delighted to see my failure to my simpees.

Work has been better! Still hot, but we've slowed /way/ down, which means my supervisor has been letting me goof off on my phone or writing, cause we physically can't work too hard in the heat, but we also have no orders anyway, so... And because we've been able to get paid Not Working, I have gotten back into a werewolf story I started writing months ago! I'm setting it up one shot style rn, and posting the chapters as my brain accepts my pleading for their creation, but I also intend to make it a full and proper story once I've worked all the one shots out. I will openly admit to it being complete self service, cause I want a best friend who's 8 feet tall, fluffy, and has a crappy sense of humor. And is a cuddle monster, though that one is mainly cause I love glomming full force onto my people and displaying my awkward affection. I'm like a peacock, but instead of flaring tail feathers, I hug people in front of other people, whilst not actually really knowing socially accepted norms for hugging friends, tbh.

I also went through and completely reorganized my phones gallery, and got a very stupid laugh outta it. I have 461 transformers related pictures, and almost 400 writing prompts. Just. Saved on my phone. If I ever lose this sim card my writing career that i don't actually have will be over. On another other note semi related, I have been asked to design a friends tattoo! I don't know if I mentioned that in my last ask. He asked me to draw him a dragon to get tattooed, which, to be fair, dragons are among one of the very scant things I can draw well reliably, but also, dragon proportions curled into a ball sleeping are kicking my ass, and I am debating getting out my giant sketchpad to be able to completely control every tiny eetsy beetsy detail, cause my close friend wants me to do this thing that will permanently be on his body, and I really desperately don't wanna mess it up... Cause like. No one has ever asked me to ///draw/// for them before. I've gotten asked to paint, or do some small stuff with watercolors, but never /drawing/. And he knows I love dragons, it's part of why he asked. I just. It's a thing that happened that made me really happy, like hide in my pillow crying happy tears happy.

And then, on the fifth, I found an exactly 8 year old video of my childhood dog that we had to put down... it was from the summer before he was put down, which happened during the school year. He had been all that I'd had growing up, so, it hit kinda hard seeing something of him that moved. Even after 8 years, I still cry every time I think about him. He was the best dog any little kid could've ever been raised with, and probably helped boost my immune system against my allergies to boot, hehe. I cried for like, two hours, cause it was a video taken 7/5/2015. And, I thought I had lost all my images of him. It was a happy thing, just. A very sad type of happy. I wish I could tell him that I did love him, even if I didn't wanna lay on the ground and cuddle like he preferred. He was a dog that was born old, haha, never wanted to play or bark, he just wanted to lay on you and be loved. I was always running around on imaginary adventures though, but I did love him. If I was upset, he was my safe place. I promise this is a happy thing, it's just that I'm gonna be legally allowed to drink soon, and sometimes I forget that it's been so long since I got to see him. Especially cause sometimes, I still have dreams about playing with him in our backyard, right next to a giant pine tree covered in cicada sheds, laughing as he dug a little groove to lay in under the old rusted out trampoline. He was the most patient, tolerant dog, and it's because of him and the cat he raised with me that I'm not afraid of so much anymore. Ma and dad weren't there when we had him, but... I'll admit to giving them up forever if it meant I got to have him back

~Smooch

Hello there Smooch~

Sleeping babee dragon sounds so cute! I've never designed a tattoo, so I can only imagine the pressure (and of course the touching part of him asking you to draw his tattoo design).

Interestingly enough I too spent a loooong period of time where drawing was a dragon-only zone. I think it was back in like middle school? If you're struggling with a traditional four-legged two winged dragon, have you considered another type? There's Asian Lung dragons, Wyverns, Wyrms, or even a Quetzalcoatl style dragon that can all be very cool and might be easier for you to draw as a sleepy loaf. If your friend doesn't have a strong preference of course.

How exciting, on sale art supplies. It's kinda hard to decide sometimes between art supplies and if you're new to it, it's not a BAD idea to try multiple different types and/or brand names until you find what you like. I own two different art devices, one Wacom Intuos bought in High School and a Huion art monitor bought like four years ago. I was a traditional artist at the time I bought the Intuos tablet, so I quickly found that I prefer drawing on an actual screen I can look at instead of drawing on a tablet, BUT I had to try the tablet first to know that. What that all amounts up to is I hope you like one if not both of them ^J^ It's good to hear that your job is calming down. I'm sure that you're enjoying having the down time to work on your creative pursuits. At the risk of sounding too much like a hippie art teacher, I say it's very important to have some sort of creative outlet in your life. So it's wonderful to hear that you're getting to write on your werewolf story. I send you my best wishes that your muse stays nice and cooperative for the whole process hehe.

And lastly: The bittersweet memory of a good pet that has passed is something that I feel blessed to have as well. I hope that you can continue to enjoy your memories of a good animal without being bogged down in the sadness of their passing.

It's good to hear from you again Smooch, glad to hear you are doing well~

[rain-fluff]

Journal Nine

Have you ever discovered music you wished you had discovered earlier in your life? I have always had an affinity towards Indie Japanese Rock due to consuming a lot of anime, manga or JRPGs during my adolescence but sometimes I wish I had dug deeper and consumed more than I already do. Buck-Tick was not a band that I was remotely interested in listening except until last year where news of their vocalist passing started to circulate in my social media feeds. I only decided to listen to them sometime in mid January because I was simply curious about what it was that made them so special to many.

Kiss Me Good-bye was the first song that was recommended to me by an online friend and I genuinely did not expect to fall in love with the song as much I did. It only took me a few seconds for it to instantly click and made me think about how strong my grunge and indie sounds could actually impact me as a person. I wouldn't say I'm the most musically gifted person in the room or anything but after listening to a few tracks from their discography, I couldn't help but feel so quickly saddened by a musical talent lost.

And call me an old soul or whatever but I do feel sad knowing that rock music in general has unfortunately lost it's popularity with time. Not to say I don't listen to pop music ever but I feel like there's just no place for rock music as much as it used to be because many in the current generation are just not brought up to appreciate it as much. I also wonder how the band is like after Atsushi Sakurai's passing? Do you think they can go on? I remember Linkin Park still making music today despite Chester Bennington's passing but I think it's fair to say that there will always be a big hole that these bands can fill unlike when their vocalists were still there.

Speaking of music, I remember briefly mentioning that I auditioned for a musical performance but I never really elaborated on what happened. Well for starters, I genuinely thought I could pull of Torn by Natalie Imbruglia, only to be critiqued that I was using my second voice too much, I wasn't great with pacing my energy or breathing and I simply lacked confidence. Cool (not the judges fault by the way, I'm just dissapointed in myself looking back and their critiques we're a good way of learning what I could improve).

At some point, they suggested I try singing Back to Black by Amy Winehouse and I was surprised by myself that despite the last minute adjustment, I had a smoother experience singing said song moreso than the initial. Colour me surprised when I found out that I made the auditions to boot! Now I have to worry about the actual performance and make time for practicing a song I only remember 50% of the lyrics of but overalI think I'll do okay. (probably)

Also surprise! My beloved doll is finally here! The doll's quality is really well-made and I only wish I could get more clothes for her but this hoodie would have to do for now. I may or may not have also splurged on some Spy x Family plushies of Anya but considering they we're roughly 7 ringgit each, I had to snatch them before they sold considering cheap official merch like that is pretty rare to come by. I really need to journal in between the days of the week just to fill up these entries again. I've just been letting myself be consumed by the stress of built-up assignments. I really need to get a grip where I can.

-rain

[the-firebird69]

Somebody put my parents in the hospital and my parents started putting me in the hospital and it's really for mental stuff and they had no real good reason to and it was really because my mom put my dad in and decided that I should go in and she's affected meaning someone did a transplant and they're not going to undo it they said I think and we have some problems with it these things are happening because of that and people are not addressing it and people have that that happen and they are a bit non-savvy they don't understand if you put my mom in the hospital like what happened you end up having a problem if you put me in afterwards you end up having more problems and The Rock should understand but I don't think he knows that it just keeps on getting worse and worse as these two bother me they're getting worse situations and the empire is still flying high nobody's actually touched their places except I think 10 small teeny tiny caverns which I don't know if they're theres or not probably not

Zues Hera

So he said I don't want to hear a word one from you about anything and I said John because I have money but he wasn't talking about that and the guy had already exploded and I didn't say anything the point is he wants to hear about it and yeah they went after a caverns and they're like 20 of them I think we lost all 20 and they're not the max these people are dumb s*** so we don't have too many left we only have like 20 left the good size but we can't have this s*** so we pointed out Trump stuff and somebody found out they have 50 to 60% of what the empire has which is if you took like 30% of it or 25% you can take over Earth and the other portion would be for Saturn now we are looking into it we have found out that it's at least 50% and the numbers are right it is a huge amount giant forces are going after them and they're going to all be gone probably in a few days which is great Stan did a good job and my grand nephew. He's laughing over there like the predator and they don't even listen really it's because I'm calling him my grand nephew and it's going to be really big and I might get him thousands and really thousands of millions which is nothing but he will be big. He's trying to think of what the name of that was and he thinks it's a hundred thousand dollar bar and I think it's $1,000 bar he wants to make like a healthy one like a million bucks big huge like health bar candy bar and they make them like that anyways and they charged too much he charge like three bucks the thing was way like a pound and it'll be some carbs in it and protein they say 20 g of protein in those little dinky things and we checked and it's about 18 g no it's like 20 g there's a lot of protein. It's not too healthy because an average chicken breast has about 20 g and you're eating more than just protein and if you're not careful it's going to be a problem and he eats carbs with it and it makes himself I can see him forcing himself and people in his way and a lot of you idiots are stupid we're tired of this you're threatening to get rid of yourselves and you're doing the job make a choice and he says this guy Tommy f is out of control and there's some others that are out of control like they are we had a schedule and we have a problem and it's Tommy f is a problem he's influenced by the max Trump is a problem is influenced by the max where in foods by the max to fight each other so I'm starting to get this this is starting to really really blow and nobody's listening to anyone he says what are they doing are they looking at these things cuz they're attacking us and our bunkers well this is going on and you're saying that they're going to clean house afterwards who you say is they have gotten nowhere then we can be screwed cuz they're taking all the form of stuff when they lose now I've had it here this is I've had it with this they could be building a massive robot army with all that stuff that goes in there I'm calling for an end of it and someone was mentioning it today this is recycled materials are easier we made a lot of machines and they have the designs and I heard them yelling at me so we going to put this out there

Mac Daddy

[boyakishan]

There's that new Mr beast philanthropy video. People are going "stop giving food to people."

Dude. How much do you think food is.

Like, let's say you can survive on ten bucks. A homeless person can work, beg or whatever and they can live on ten bucks. It costs. Idk, 5 bucks for the homeless shelter so that's the house security so they're not overtly stressed and whatever. And then...

It's like 5 bucks just for bread.

It's twenty bucks more or less for a sandwich, that's 50 bucks of ingredients from the store.

Just top of my head. 50 bucks.

Now, there's places that sell food for five bucks. Oh hey, look. That's the ten bucks for this bullshit scenario.

Now, let's say they're undergoing training. Learning how to work in retail.

They're not getting paid and they're living off 50 bucks they managed to save up during the weekends by not eating. Eating lunch in the staff room on weekdays. By Sunday they've either found a way to make cash, or they're sleeping on the streets.

Like. Think about that scenario. It's not a bad situation to be in, but food needs to be stored.

Food'll spoil, and etc etc.

Like, top of my head. Food's 70% of poor families budgets. A homeless person has a job and a place to clean up a bit, 3/10 of your weekly wage isn't a lot to live off of, and if your job is lost because of some clean looking smuck...

Well, it's not easy being homeless, and I can't really do much.

But what would I know, I've only read through a couple research papers, talked to a few homeless shelter people and volunteers and homeless people around my city.

I've only given what I can, advice. Idk.

[lovenaturelovepurpleblog]

Bob Dylan speech after he accepted the Nobel peace prize, Nobel Prize

Bob Dylan:

Good evening, everyone. I extend my warmest greetings

to the members of the Swedish Academy and to all of

the other distinguished guests in attendance tonight.

I'm sorry I can't be with you in person, but please know

that I am most definitely with you in spirit and honored

to be receiving such a prestigious prize. Being awarded

the Nobel Prize for Literature is something I never could

have imagined or seen coming. From an early age, I've

been familiar with and reading and absorbing the works

of those who were deemed worthy of such a distinction:

Kipling, Shaw, Thomas Mann, Pearl Buck, Albert Camus,

Hemingway. These giants of literature whose works are

taught in the schoolroom, housed in libraries around the

world and spoken of in reverent tones have always

made a deep impression. That I now join the names on

such a list is truly beyond words.

I don't know if these men and women ever thought of

the Nobel honor for themselves, but I suppose that

anyone writing a book, or a poem, or a play anywhere in

the world might harbor that secret dream deep down

inside. It's probably buried so deep that they don't even

know it's there.

If someone had ever told me that I had the slightest

chance of winning the Nobel Prize, I would have to think

that I'd have about the same odds as standing on the

moon. In fact, during the year I was born and for a few

years after, there wasn't anyone in the world who was

considered good enough to win this Nobel Prize. So, I

recognize that I am in very rare company, to say the

least.

I was out on the road when I received this surprising

news, and it took me more than a few minutes to

properly process it. I began to think about William

Shakespeare, the great literary figure. I would reckon he

thought of himself as a dramatist. The thought that he

was writing literature couldn't have entered his head.

His words were written for the stage. Meant to be

spoken not read. When he was writing Hamlet, I'm sure

he was thinking about a lot of different things: "Who're

the right actors for these roles?" "How should this be

staged?" "Do I really want to set this in Denmark?" His

creative vision and ambitions were no doubt at the

forefront of his mind, but there were also more

mundane matters to consider and deal with. "Is the

financing in place?" "Are there enough good seats for

my patrons?"

' "Where am I going to get a human skull?" I

would bet that the farthest thing from Shakespeare's

mind was the question "Is this literature?"

When I started writing songs as a teenager, and even as

I started to achieve some renown for my abilities, my

aspirations for these songs only went so far. I thought

they could be heard in coffee houses or bars, maybe

later in places like Carnegie Hall, the London Palladium.

If I was really dreaming big, maybe I could imagine

getting to make a record and then hearing my songs on

the radio. That was really the big prize in my mind.

Making records and hearing your songs on the radio

meant that you were reaching a big audience and that

you might get to keep doing what you had set out to do.

Well, I've been doing what I set out to do for a long time,

now. I've made dozens of records and played thousands

of concerts all around the world. But it's my songs that

are at the vital center of almost everything I do. They

seemed to have found a place in the lives of many

people throughout many different cultures and I'm

grateful for that.

But there's one thing I must say. As a performer I've

played for 50,000 people and I've played for 50 people

and I can tell you that it is harder to play for 50 people.

50,000 people have a singular persona, not so with 50.

Each person has an individual, separate identity, a world

unto themselves. They can perceive things more clearly.

Your honesty and how it relates to the depth of your

talent is tried. The fact that the Nobel committee is so

small is not lost on me.

But, like Shakespeare, I too am often occupied with the

pursuit of my creative endeavors and dealing with all

aspects of life's mundane matters. "Who are the best

musicians for these songs?"

" "Am I recording in the right

studio?" "Is this song in the right key?" Some things

never change, even in 400 years.

Not once have I ever had the time to ask myself, "Are my

songs literature?"

So, I do thank the Swedish Academy, both for taking the

time to consider that very question, and, ultimately, for

Providing such a wonderful answer,

Yours Truly

Bob Dylan,

[lowtaxsa]

My Quarantine Adventures: From Riches to Boiler Room

Greetings, fellow Ogsters! It's your old pal Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka here, broadcasting live from the boiler room of a Thai nail salon. You might be asking yourself how I, a once-proud captain of industry, wound up in such a peculiar living situation during the great quarantine. Well, buckle up, because it's been a rollercoaster of a journey, filled with twists, turns, and, of course, a healthy dose of Lowtaxian shenanigans! And let me tell you, if you thought living in a boiler room was a low point, just wait until you see what else I've been up to.

The beginning of my descent into boiler room living started when I lost the last of my money in a high-stakes online poker game. I had what I thought was an unbeatable hand—a full house, the kind of hand that would make a gambler's heart swell with pride. Unfortunately, my opponent somehow managed to pull a royal flush out of thin air. Now, I'm not saying they were cheating, but I've always been a bit suspicious of their avatar, which was a cat playing poker while wearing sunglasses. Regardless, I had to accept defeat, and with it, the departure of the last remnants of my fortune. I guess I should have known better than to trust a cat in sunglasses.

With no money to my name, I suddenly found myself in a precarious situation. Despite the nationwide renter protections in place, I was unceremoniously kicked out of my home. In retrospect, perhaps using my landlord's car as a makeshift barbecue pit wasn't the best idea, but hey, what's life without a few mistakes? I can't help but feel that the rules should have protected me, but I suppose they don't apply to guys like me who have a penchant for unintentionally wreaking havoc on other people's property. It's not like I was robbing banks or anything – just a little property damage for flavor.

Homeless and penniless, I found myself wandering the streets, my spirit unbowed despite my seemingly dire circumstances. I eventually stumbled upon a strip mall's Thai nail salon, where the kind-hearted owner, Mrs. Sukjai, took pity on me and allowed me to stay in her establishment's boiler room. In exchange for her generosity, I agreed to help out with odd jobs around the salon and promised not to scare away customers with my desperate attempts to make a quick buck. Easier said than done, as you'll soon see. I mean, a guy's gotta eat, right?

During my time at the strip mall, I tried my hand at various schemes, each more harebrained than the last, in an effort to con the local business owners. My first venture involved convincing the pet store owner that I had a rare breed of invisible dogs to sell. I was so close to sealing the deal when one of the "dogs" started "barking," revealing itself to be nothing more than a recording on my phone. The owner was far from amused, but I couldn't help but chuckle at my own ingenuity. You have to admit, invisible dogs would be pretty cool.

Refusing to be deterred by my initial failure, I moved on to my next scheme: selling "magic beans" to the owner of the organic grocery store. With a silver tongue, I promised that these beans would grow a beanstalk that would lead straight to a land filled with golden eggs. Of course, the beans were just ordinary legumes I had scavenged from a dumpster behind the store. The owner, unimpressed and clearly agitated by my ruse, threatened to call the police if I ever tried anything like that again. But I was undaunted, and my mischievous spirit remained unbroken. I mean, who wouldn't want a shot at some golden eggs? I thought it was a pretty good sales pitch, if I do say so myself.

It was then that I hatched my most ambitious plan yet: posing as a psychic and offering to read palms for the low, low price of $50 a pop. I had a small booth set up outside the nail salon, and business was booming! People lined up, eager to learn their futures from the mysterious and enigmatic "Lowtax the Mystic." I made up fortunes on the fly, weaving tales of fame, fortune, and true love. The more outlandish my predictions, the more my customers ate them up. I felt like the king of the strip mall, my financial woes a distant memory. That is, until a real psychic set up shop just a few doors down, offering free readings to anyone who would listen. Talk about a buzzkill.

As the crowds flocked to my competition, I was left to wallow in the bitter taste of defeat. But I wasn't about to go down without a fight! In a last-ditch effort to regain my clientele, I tried to sabotage the real psychic by dressing up as a ghost and "haunting" their booth. Unfortunately, my makeshift costume, which consisted of a bedsheet with crudely cut eyeholes, failed to convince anyone of my spectral status. To add insult to injury, the real psychic saw right through my ruse and publicly denounced me as a fraud. I slunk back to the boiler room, my dreams of psychic greatness dashed. Apparently, even the spirit world has standards.

Despite my many misadventures, I've learned quite a bit during my time in quarantine. While I may no longer possess the wealth and prestige I once did, I've gained something far more valuable: a newfound appreciation for the simple pleasures of life. Whether it's the warmth of a boiler room on a cold night or the camaraderie of my fellow strip mall denizens, I've discovered that sometimes it's the little things that make life worth living. Who knew a warm boiler and a cramped space could feel like home?

Well folks, the nightly seizures are starting - and I don't mean mine, I mean the entire strip mall collectively "seizing" up, by which I mean all the storefronts are closed and the mall security guards are out with their "Lowtax-whacking sticks." They're trying to get rid of me, but little do they know that I've become a master of the strip mall underworld. They'll never catch me! As I dodge their futile attempts to oust me from my boiler room haven, I can't help but reflect on the bizarre journey that has been my quarantine experience. It's like playing a real-life game of "Whack-a-Lowtax."

In the end, my quarantine journey has been one of personal growth and self-discovery, albeit with a generous helping of Lowtaxian antics along the way. I hope my tale of trials and tribulations has brought a smile to your face and perhaps even inspired you to find your own silver lining during these strange times. And who knows? With a bit of luck and a whole lot of cunning, I might just find my way back to the top once again, or at least secure a spot somewhere in the middle. After all, everyone loves a good comeback story, right?

[lordofparadoxes]

|| Connection established . . . playing . . . ||

|| loading . . . . . ||

|| loading . . . . ||

|| loading . . . ||

-ot working?! [ There's a loud bang. ] Fuck, that'll teach me to- wait- [ A rustling noise, close to the speaker. ] Oh, yes! It's working! Finally, I was starting to think that guy scammed me. He's damn lucky I figured this thing out, tsk. [ Ineligible muttering. ]

[ A big black and white creature that resembles a mix of a squirrel and a rabbit comes into view, buck teeth and tusks poking out from their lips, eyes focused on something off-screen. Their eyes dart to the camera, widening comically as if they just realized they were being recorded. ]

Ah- sorry! You're probably wondering who I am. [ The creature chuckles, looking sheepish and rubbing the back of their neck with a spotted paw. ] Well, the name's Paradox, and I'm a Time Lord. [ They pause, face scrunching up as if realizing something. ] Not The Doctor's kind, though I have met them. No, I originate from a time branch of what my superiors have named the Rise Universe, the newest tree for the TMNT garden. For people who don't follow: I am a yokai that was born in a Hidden City, which one I can't remember. My universe of origin's ending code is 2018, though I've since moved. [ They offer the camera a small grin, their long ears flicking back, the big bushy tail behind them twitching a bit. ]

Normally this kind of thing would get one fired... but considering Tumblr has consistently broken the laws of reality by having multiple versions of the same person on it at any given point and allowing them to interact without consequence... well, my superiors have made an exception. [ They laugh nervously, nose twitching. ]

I'm technically retired from field work, but reality decided I was done with that and dragged me back kicking and screaming. So, here I am! Making a blog, haha. [ They wince, and their head falls into their paws with a muffled groan. ] Ugh... I'm out of practice.

[ They tilt their head a bit to glare half-heartedly at the camera. ] In my defense, it's been a couple thousand years since I've had a social media account. And technically this is a transcript, so cut me some slack alright? [ They straighten up with a sigh, leaning back in their chair. ]

You'll probably be seeing more of me, though no guarantee. The signal here is shit, and everything I send through has a 50/50 chance of actually being received. [ They grimace. ] Most of the time though everything gets lost to the void or fractured. Ugh, which just means more paperwork for me. [ They close their eyes, expression pained. ] So much paperwork...

|| Connection terminated , redirecting . . . ||

|| Pulling up file . . . || || Opening file name "Employee 325" ||

Designation : Paradox Real name : [ REDACTED ] Age : [ REDACTED ] Species : Yokai; hybrid / mutt Universe of Origin : TMNT-R-CTEV-S1-C10GOL-002018 Occupation : Time Lord; Rank Watcher Former Ranks : Civilian; Refugee, Consultant (Brief), Scout; Junior, Senior, Agent; Lieutenant, Captain, General Magic : Hammer space, [ REDACTED ] Misc : Retired, unique magic; nonreplicated, doesn't age, omnivore, founj!(DU918!*@&9*!S*(JS!*1Y(S(*!wS)K!()IW!(JS!U&@Y!H!7HG^SH!*(!I9jS!sH!*YW()SJ!!M)W1 JIW : 56gu!T^&!SU!*H17YS!&*ySG!*YG^SO(!)(h!( G : SJ2!*!(shJ!*w!ys!(!* || . . . ||

|| File corrupted . . . | |

|| Closing . . . | |

|| Ending program . . . ||

|| Thank you for using Pandora's Box! ||

[elvensorceress]

UMMMM YOU ALREADY KNOW. I WOULD LIKE A SNIPPET PLZ OF MY BELATED BIRTHDAY PRESENT 👀👀🥺🥺💜💜💜💜💜

WELL YOU'RE IN LUCK because that's what I've been working on this week 🥰 💕💕💕💕

He rolls over beneath the light blanket and slides an arm around his sleeping husband. Husband. His beautiful husband. How is he this lucky? He still doesn't know.

Eddie makes a soft, not quite conscious noise. So, Buck nestles close and kisses his neck. It’s always a 50-50 toss up whether it tickles or ignites heat, and Buck isn’t even sure which outcome is his favorite. It usually ends the same regardless. 

He lets his hand dip under the hem of Eddie’s thin t-shirt and spreads a warm palm over his abdomen. He could do nothing but touch Eddie for hours — has done nothing but this many times before. He loves the soft feel of his skin, the defined swells of muscle, the dusting of dark hair, the delicate bends of knuckles, the taste of his inner thighs, the sensitive dip near his pelvic bone, the places where he bears scars, moles, freckles, and black ink. All of him. Buck loves all of him, has kissed and traced and massaged and licked every inch of him until he knows everything by heart. 

He loves how Eddie breathes, how he laughs, how he moans, how he whimpers. He especially loves how Eddie trusts him so completely, how even when it was new and terrifying, Eddie still offered him everything. He would still give and let Buck give to him even when he didn’t feel deserving. When neither of them felt deserving of something so incredible and pleasurable but safe and joyous at the same time.  

Buck clutches him now, holds Eddie against his chest, and scatters kisses over his shoulder, his neck, his cheek. He knows Eddie’s waking when he covers the arm wrapped around him with his own and tips his head back so Buck can kiss him more. They’ve had years together, many years, but Buck still aches for him. “I love you,” he breathes into Eddie’s ear as he nuzzles in his hair. “I love you so much.” 

Eddie doesn’t open his eyes, but he smiles brightly and sounds breathless as he teases, “Starting with that already?” Because words of love whispered against skin, vowed while tangled in bed together inevitably lead to one thing and one thing only. If they aren’t already lost in the midst of it.

Buck hums against Eddie’s neck and rubs his thumb back and forth near ribcage. “Can’t help it. The fifth anniversary is wood you know.” 

Eddie laughs in his arms. With his whole body. And doesn’t stop. But he does twist around until he can pull Buck into a fierce kiss. “And here I thought it was silverware,” he says in between pressing their mouths together, grinning against Buck’s lips.

[dadtrap-the-nonbinary-pirate]

Have some incorrect quotes from my AU Zim, Tallest Red and Tallest Purple part 3. (Cause yes)

(I don't know the context of this generation a little)

Zim: Hey Tallest Purple, Tallest Red just broke my seashell lamp.

Tallest Purple: Neat. I'm gonna die alone.

Zim: Okay, you win.

......

Tallest Purple: When Tallest Red was born, the gods said, "They're too perfect for this world"

Zim: Please. When they were born, the devil said, "Oh, competition"

......

Tallest Red: Welcome to F*cking Applebees, do you want apples or bees?

Zim: Bees?

Tallest Red: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES!

Zim: Wait-

*Tallest Purple approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*

......

(Zim getting the consequence of pressing Tallest Purple's buttons)

Zim: I mean. Tallest Purple's just standing there now.

Zim: Waiting for me, I guess.

Zim: But it's okay, I think they've pretty much settled down.

Tallest Red: Settled down?

Zim: Well, they only stabbed me once.

......

Tallest Red: You bought a taco?

Zim: Yes.

Tallest Red: From the same truck that hit Tallest Purple?

Zim, with a mouthful of taco: Well me starving ain't gonna help them.

......

Tallest Purple: Why would anyone want to harm Tallest Red?

Zim: Maybe because they met them.

......

Zim: You're irrationally angry 365 days a year.

Tallest Red: Well, that's just your personal opinion, I don't have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues?

Tallest Purple: Well, I wouldn't call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

......

Zim: Well, has Tallest Purple been wrong before?

Tallest Red: How wide are we willing to open this up?

......

Tallest Purple: Red, what are you doing?

Tallest Red: Making chocolate pudding.

Tallest Purple: It's four in the morning, why are you making chocolate pudding?

Tallest Red: Because I've lost control of my life.

Tallest Red: Here's your pudding, Zim.

Zim: Oh that's okay, I'm not hungry anymore.

Tallest Red: ....

Tallest Red, looking at Tallest Purple: I'm going to slap him.

Tallest Purple, hugging Tallest Red from behind: Please don't.

......

(When Tallest Red and Zim stay up at night and don't know the time)

Zim: What time is it?

Tallest Red: I don't know, pass me that saxophone and we'll find out.

Tallest Red: *BLASTS the saxophone*

Tallest Purple: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING?!

Tallest Red: It's 2 am.

......

(Whenever Zim somehow gets his hands on a mech, Tank, or rocket launcher)

Tallest Red: So... What's goin' on?

Tallest Purple: You want the long version or short version?

Tallest Red, hesitantly: the short one I guess.

Tallest Purple: shit's fucked.

Tallest Red: Oh. Well, yeah, that's definitely not an optimal situation.

......

Tallest Red: Purple, what does IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean?

Tallest Purple: I don't know, I love you, talk to you later.

Tallest Red: Alright, I love you too, I'll ask Zim.

Tallest Purple: Wait- Red, no-

......

Tallest Purple: Guys where did Tallest Red go?

Zim: They got arrested.

Tallest Purple: How the hell-

Tallest Red: *bursts in through the window* The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people.

......

(Whenever Tallest Red accidentally breaks something of Tallest Purple's since Red does get nervous but no it's not an abusive relationship)

Tallest Red: Who wants to make 50 bucks?

Zim: How?

Tallest Red: I someone to take the fall.

Zim: What did you do?

Tallest Red: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked.

Tallest Purple, from the other room: Oh my god.

Tallest Red: ...

Tallest Purple: OH MY GOD!

Zim: Make it a hundred.

Tallest Red: Deal.

......

Tallest Purple, trying to impress Tallest Red: I re-initialized the entire command structure, retaining all programmed abilities but deleting the supplementary preference architecture.

Zim: They turned it off and back on again.

......

(When Zim and his Tallests are roommates and he comes back from spending time with (his boyfriend) Dib)

Zim: *sneaking in through their window*

Tallest Red: *turning in their chair and flicking the light on* You want to tell me where you've been all night?

Zim: I was with Tallest Purple?

Tallest Purple: *turning in their chair* Wanna try again?

.......

(Diff universe)

Tallest Purple: I know we're not exactly friends, but-

Tallest Red: What do you want?

Tallest Purple: I've been stuck with Zim for 2 weeks and they've been drinking all the soy sauce.

Tallest Purple: help. TwT

.......

Zim: Hey, do you know the password to Tallest Red's computer?

Tallest Purple: Fuck you, Zim.

Zim: Hey!!

Tallest Purple: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouZim".

Zim: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

......

Tallest Red: Dandelions are every thing I want to in life.

Zim: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Tallest Red: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Tallest Purple: Edible.

......

Tallest Red: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like.... a lawyer to you. Ok?

Zim: Okay.

*Later*

Tallest Purple: Zim! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble.

Tallest Red, whispering: Deny everything.

Zim, loudly: That isn't a chair.

.......

Tallest Red: I'm afraid of clowns. There, I said it.

Zim: Tallest Red, if you don't like clowns, why are you hanging out with Tallest Purple?

......

Tallest Purple: Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of makeup if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically.

Tallest Red: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies eyes.

Zim: Self care is stealing someone's birthday cake just to eat the frosting.

Tallest Red: If you touch my birthday cake I'll make you eat your hands.

......

(When Zim has insomnia)

Zim: Protip is you do not feel good about yourself after eating tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce.

Tallest Purple: What's wrong with you??

Zim: I literally JUST said I ate tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce?? Pay attention.

Tallest Red: No, they mean other than that.

Zim: ohhhhhh.

Zim: I haven't slept in 4 days.

.......

Zim: It's impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a.

Tallest Purple: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here's one more to further disprove your theory.

Tallest Red: F*ck you.

......

Tallest Purple: The first time I ever got upset in front of Tallest Red, they put their arms around me and it was so awkward that I had to ask them if they were hugging me or reaching for something on the shelf behind me.

Tallest Red: I was doing both, for your information.

Zim: The first time Tallest Red hugged me, it was such a disaster we didn't make eye contact for, like, a week after.

......

Zim: Hello all, it is I, your favorite person.

Tallest Red: Actually, Tallest Purple is my favorite.

Zim: Okay then, it is I, that bitch.

......

Zim: Tallest Purple got into a fight.

Tallest Red: That's bad.

Tallest Red: ...

Tallest Red: Did they win?

......

*Tallest Purple teaching Zim how to drive and taking Tallest Red along for the ride*

Tallest Purple: That's a pothole. To the left!

Zim: Take it back now ya'll. *Drives into pothole*

Tallest Red, sticking their face into the front over the center console: Cha cha real smooth.

Zim: I don't think that's how the song goes.

Tallest Purple, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home.

Zim: Country Roads.

Tallest Red: To the place.

Zim and Tallest Red in unison: I Belong!

Tallest Purple, crying harder: What the fuck?

......

Zim: Why did you guys dress up as each other for Halloween?

Tallest Purple: Tallest Red is the scariest thing I could think of!

Tallest Red: Tallest Purple told me I should pick the dumbest costume possible.

......

Zim: Tallest Red, those tarot card readers know what they're doing! Think of Tallest Purple, they're smart!

Tallest Red: Those are suggestions! They're not-

Zim: Tallest Purple knew things, Tallest Purple knew things!

Tallest Red: I don't think tarot cards told them that, though! I think if you just shotgun blast things into the air, saying you think you know things, then you're bound to hit one of them!

Zim: I don't like thinking about it like that. They're just brilliant.

Tallest Red: Well, they are brilliant! But-

Zim: And they saw into the future, and they're basically a God.

Tallest Red: ....

Tallest Red: They aren't.

......

Zim, Entering Tallest Purple's room: Tallest Red did it again.

Tallest Purple: Peace disturbance?

Zim: What no-

Tallest Purple: Arson..?

Zim: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY-

Tallest Purple: uh....Attempted murder?

Zim: NO, THEY ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, BUT WHAT THE FU-

......

Zim: Adulting is hard.

Zim: How do I quit?

Tallest Purple: Time travel.

Tallest Red: Die.

......

Tallest Purple: *gets a text* Oh! It's Tallest Red.

Zim, excitedly: Did they get me the stuff?

Tallest Purple: Yeah, they say they got the clown costume, the power drill and 12 gallons of blood.

Zim: Wow! Where did they find 12 gallons of fake blood?

Tallest Purple: You wanted fake blood?

Zim: ...

Tallest Purple: I'll go call Tallest Red.

......

Tallest Red: The clock is ticking! We don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery!

Tallest Purple: This unmitigated poppycock?

Zim: Extravagant hogwash!

Tallest Red: Okay, stop.

......

(Both Tallest Red and Zim having fucked up sleep schedules cause of insomnia which in turn Tallest Purple finds them awake)

Tallest Red & Zim: *playing video games*

Tallest Purple: You guys woke at 5:30 in the morning to just play games?

Tallest Red: *silence*

Zim: *silence*

Tallest Purple, figuring it out: ... You two never went to sleep did you?

Tallest Red & Zim in shame: Yeah...