#and if nobody ever goes hey cool. if that is so rare. what am i doing this for

[yelloworangesoda]

posting anything but the most blatant fandom bait on tumblr is less than worthless. i dont even like tumblr this much

[sj0228]

astro notes for fun lol

HEY! this is my first astro observations post so don't be too hard on me lol unless u wanna then sure maybe i can improve them somehow BUTANYWAYZ this is for entertainment purposes only!! obviously these are just my own observations so if they don't resonate with you don't get offended or you're a big ol' 🅱️uss so here they are!! also SHOUTOUT TO MY AMAZING FRIENDS fyi i got sum help from them by asking them billions of questions to confirm my suspicions so uh hope that makes the observations more accurate LOL ANYWAYS HERE THEY ARE!! i'll probably make more in the future cuz i think they're super fun to make :D also if u couldnt tell uhm this isnt very professional im not professional BUT I TRIED TO MAKE IT PRETTY so pls dont be bothered lol im just doing this for fun i didnt even wanna make an astro page so yea </3pretty unreliable LMAOOO

👩🏻‍🦲 the house your mars is in is what pisses you off the most!! (eg. 1st - people assuming things about you, 5th - people beating around the bush, 7th - things that disrupt the harmony of your environment, 9th - the need to hold back your opinions because others get bothered by them being "offensive")

👩🏻‍🦲 cancers are true ambiverts and i've truly never ever seen a cancer who wouldn't be both introverted and extroverted at times. they are always either social introverts or quiet extroverts lol. or both!! (somehow 0_0) they enjoy people's attention, whether it's wanting to be noticed or appreciated or generally cared for, and they need their alone time. they tend to be very productive at those times, too.

👩🏻‍🦲 ok i have a lot of notes for cancers so it's gonna be a lot lmao sorry anyways!! i've also noticed they LOVEEE breaking loose every once in a while, if not every time they're given the opportunity! thing is, it's usually only if someone else is there to convince them or do it with them. they don't like taking risks alone! they are very impressed and fond of the 'wild child' persona people because they bring out the cancer's wild side!

👩🏻‍🦲 libra moons are absolutely loved by people, it's so crazy! like, no matter what they do they always have attention on them. this can manifest badly if the moon person is actually pretty horrible, things they do tend to be overlooked and others move on pretty quickly from their mistakes, letting them do whatever they want. i wanted to give an example but uh,,,,, i shall.. refrain😳

👩🏻‍🦲 libra suns with water moons are so scary when they're angry..

👩🏻‍🦲 cancer moon is what i deem as the zodiac sign cute-ifyer lol. literally any "tough" sign like capricorn, scorpio or aquarius becomes a super cute goofball with this moon. WEIRDEST THING EVER THOUGH is that it doesn't work for cancer suns?! like if a cancer sun has a cancer moon this just makes the person very confusing but very funny. they can brighten anybody's day without trying!

👩🏻‍🦲 okay uh this isn't an astro note as much as it is me being a phucken simp but uh..... I HAVE AN UNDYING LOVE FOR ARIES SUNS I WILL MARRY EVERY EACHAND ONE OF YOU ISTG. ARIES SUNS ARE THE NICEST AND FUNNIEST PEOPEL I'VE EVER SEEN YOU HAVE THE BEST HUMOR EVER AND YOU'RE SO KIND TO EVERYBODY YOU'RE SO KIND I LOVE YOU YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR THIS PLANET I WANT TO HUG YOU FOREVER okay jbshxhjn but fr aries are the best people ever?!?!?!?!?!?! pls

👩🏻‍🦲 okay JUST SO THIS WHOLE ARIES MENTION ISN'T JUST A POINTLESS LOVE CONFESSION - i've noticed a lot of ♥aries♥ people use the laughing crying face emojis (😂,🤣) unironically and it's honestly.....the best thing ever

👩🏻‍🦲 taurus suns do this sometimes as well

👩🏻‍🦲 THE MOST UNHEALTHY PERCEPTIONS OF ZODIAC SIGNS ARE PUT ON FIRE SIGNS, NOT THE WATER SIGNS AND THIS IS COMING FROM A PISCES!!!!!!1 every stereotype is always showing fire signs as those sunshine of the group people, the baddies, and the ones with the biggest 'idgaf' attitude. and while this can totally be true sometimes, most of the time it's super different! sad fire signs break my heart pls i just wanna hug you guys T-T they have it the hardest because unlike water signs who are already expected to be emotional, they often repress their emotions for the sake of others and because of the fear of betrayal or judgement, or just generally the idea of "it's better to have fake friends than to have zero friends". YOU GUYS PLEASE. cut these people off from your life you deserve soo much better i know it can be super hard to open up for you u just need a hug omg EVERYONE PLEASE CHECK UP ON YOUR FIRE SIGN FRIENDS ASK THEM ABOUT THEIR DAY N STUFF THEY WILL APPRECIATE YOU CARING FOR THEM! pls stay best and take care sweethearts ily!!!

👩🏻‍🦲 i've also noticed that some of the signs tend to show their sadness through anger - this is not just astrology though so if your friend has been jumpy lately please just check on them they are probably going thru sth😳 anyways the signs i mostly saw this in are pisces, aries and libra.

👩🏻‍🦲 cancers with feminine moons (earth and water) tend to be pretty introspective. they often think they're the ones being mistreated, and while this of course might be true, in reality it usually goes a lonnng way back lol. they often pay very little attention to others!! (masculine moon sign cancers (fire and air) can often be too focused on others more than themselves) this can be good because they don't snoop in other people's business but oh my god, guys, please pay attention to your friends, too! this WILL lead to lost friendships because, let's be real, nobody wants a one-sided friendship with someone who only cares about themselves! i don't want to target anybody here but this is just a pattern i've noticed wayyyy too often, so you might want to look into it and if you think this is you all you need is just to enlargen your perspective and it will all be okay. but please, PLEASE. think about your friends

👩🏻‍🦲 i needed to get this^ out because people often put this on leo placements but tbh i notice that leo placements are THE MOST generous of the entire zodiac and they always think of others first and that's what really makes them so popular. they very rarely are as egocentric as everybody says, they're just really loving and that makes them very lovable!

👩🏻‍🦲 scorpio risings are the prettiest people i've ever seen. not even kidding bruh i could stare at them for EVER their eyes are absolutely gorgeous and their mannerisms are just perfect pls marry me

👩🏻‍🦲 gemini and taurus placements make an individual soooo chill to the point where it often makes them lazy and a biig procrastinator lol. tho i love how they make light of it by using their amazing humor!

👩🏻‍🦲 you most definitely have your IC be one of your family members' sun sign or one of their personal planets. i have a taurus ic and my sister is a taurus sun!

👩🏻‍🦲 sagittarius suns are the best huggers cause THEY REALLY NEED A HUG SO GO HUG THEM RIGHT NOW. pls guys why r u so sad..

👩🏻‍🦲 scorpio mars aren't even as sexual as everybody says tbh. but they definitely do have some interesting.....interests ;)

👩🏻‍🦲 pluto aspects to personal planets are very prominent, but very hidden. if you have them, most likely you will be the only person to know about this side of you and it can be pretty dark..

👩🏻‍🦲 planets conjunct your sun will be the people you attract most in your life (venus conjunct sun - taurus and libra, jupiter - sagittarius and pisces, mars - aries and scorpio EVERYWHERE)

👩🏻‍🦲 your moon sign will be the sun sign of most of your friends

👩🏻‍🦲 if you don't quite relate to your ascendant, look at the sign you have in your 3rd house and at your mercury sign. this is how you communicate, convey your ideas etc. and will often be a major factor in people's first impressions of you :)

👩🏻‍🦲 lilith aspecting your sun may mean there's a side of you nobody knows.. 👁👁 you're also probably very convincing and people can be very drawn to you and they can't explain why. this also goes for lilith in 7th, especially in girls!

👩🏻‍🦲 you and your friends probably have each other's sun signs as your personal planets!!

👩🏻‍🦲 the kindest person you know is probably either a virgo or an aries.. and the meanest person you know is also probably a virgo or aries LOL

👩🏻‍🦲 capricorn suns & risings are THE hardest to read!! if they don't say what they mean people will just assume and they're never going to be right it's wild 👩🏻‍🦲 also capricorns definitely have the most dad energy, while sagittariuses are more like actual dads jdbshxcvb

OKAY THAT'S ALL!!!! im sure i have more but its 2 am i have school tomorrow or actually its today now so bye uh anyways there will most likely be more so if u liked these stay tuned!! oh and let me know if they were true witchu :o thats it love u stay awesome and super cool i love u byebye!!

[fruitcoops]

hi <3 i hope you’re well and having a beautiful day so far. i was wondering if you could write a fic about sirius or logan’s brother like relationship to adele - for example, how they would approach her when she’s having a bad day or when she needs advice about something or maybe even after a disagreement with her parents. no worries if you can’t, i just thought it would be a wholesome interaction 💕

Oh, for sure! Katie and Logan get so much attention (for good reason--they're adorable), but I like to think of Sirius and Adele as the blueprint. Hope you enjoy! Combined with asks for Logan and Loops friendship, Papa Dumo (for @ jinxedjaz), Sirius coming back from visiting his parents while living with the Dumais, and Sirius-learning-to-people from this hc list. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

I

A little hand tugged on the hem of Dumo’s sweater. “Papa?”

He glanced up from his crossword and smiled, turning to lift Adele into his lap. “Bonjour, mon papillon. Do you want to help me?”

“Is Sirius okay?”

Dumo paused. His first instinct was to lie—how could he even begin to explain the complexity of the situation to a seven-year-old?—but the brightness in Adele’s big eyes told him she already knew the answer. She was a smart kid. She deserved to know at least some of the truth. “He’s having a tough day,” Dumo said quietly as dishes clinked in the other room. No matter what he and Celeste tried, Sirius insisted on washing up. “He’ll be alright.”

A little furrow appeared between Adele’s eyebrows. “Is it because of us? Because he misses his family now?”

“No, sweetheart, not at all. He just…” The words were impossible to find. “He just doesn’t like holidays very much.”

She worried her lower lip for a moment before wiggling free of his arms. “I’m going to make him feel better.”

“Adele—” Dumo made a grab for her, but she had already scampered out of reach and around the corner to the kitchen. In the three days since Sirius had come back from Thanksgiving, he had already reverted back to his shut-down ghost of a self.

“Excuse me, please,” Adele announced. The sink shut off. “Are you sad?”

That’s certainly one way to do it. Dumo craned his neck to watch their reflections in the glass of the back door without revealing his position. Sirius was always more comfortable around the kids than himself and Celeste. “Quoi?” Sirius asked, turning to face her.

“Are you sad? You’ve been frowny.”

Silence fell for a few seconds. “Ouais, a little,” he said at last. “But I’m not sad because of you.”

“That’s good. Papa said so, too. He says you don’t like holidays, but that’s so silly, because we were just talking about Christmas last week.”

“I like some holidays,” Sirius said haltingly. There was a rustling noise; Dumo saw him pick Adele up and settle her on his hip with a thoughtful tilt to his head. “I’m very excited to spend Christmas with you.”

“Pinky swear?”

“Pinky swear.”

“Good. I want you to spend all the holidays with us. Will you be frowny on Christmas, too?”

“I don’t think so.” Dumo could practically hear Sirius’ smile. “See? I’m already better.”

“Will you open presents with me? Marc and Louis always open theirs together, and Mama and Papa, but Katie’s too little to do it with me. I like playing Santa, but it means I hafta go last.”

In the glass, Dumo saw Sirius press a raspberry kiss to her cheek until she burst into giggles; his grin lit up the whole kitchen. “Of course I will.”

II

“You have to smile,” Adele groaned. “You’re scaring off all my customers.”

Sirius raised his eyebrows. “Pardon?”

She turned a big, sunshine grin on him, pressing her fingers into her dimples to exaggerate it. “Big smiles! You like being here! These are the best cookies you’ve ever had! Everyone should try them!”

“They should!” Sirius agreed. “I don’t know why you’re upset!”

She heaved a sigh and clonked her forehead on his stomach, knocking some of the air out of his lungs. “You look scary when you don’t smile.”

“I do not.”

“You do! You’re built like a brick wall and when you’re thinking, you get frowny!” She adjusted her Girl Scout vest and straightened up. “You have to be perky and fun and the cutest little kid on the block.”

“…I might have a problem with the last part.”

“Then I’ll be the cutest little kid on the block,” she said, exasperated.

Sirius narrowed his eyes at her. “Do you think I’m scary?”

“No,” she snorted. “But other people do.”

“No way.”

“Yes, way. Mama looks surprised when her face relaxes, but you’re, like, looming.”

“So…you’re upset with how my face looks?” he teased, dodging her attempt to poke his ribs.

“No, I just don’t need a bodyguard to sell cookies!”

“That’s literally what I’m here for,” he laughed, tugging one of her pigtails until she stuck her tongue out at him. “Alright, madame, I’ll try to be ‘perky’ and ‘fun’.”

“The air quotes weren’t necessary,” she informed him with great gravity, though she couldn’t hide the smile on her face as she turned back to the people walking across the street. “Hey, lady, do you want cookies?”

III

“So,” Logan began, then shoved another handful of pretzel sticks into his mouth. “Dating the captain. What’s that like?”

Sirius looked up from his phone and glared. “I am sitting right next to you.”

“Shush. Loops?”

Remus sighed and let his head fall toward Logan’s armchair; he was starting to get lightheaded from laying upside-down for so long, but it was doing wonders for his lower back and sore feet. “Dating the captain? Pretty cool, to be honest.”

Logan made a noise of disagreement. “I don’t believe that for a second. Does he make you run drills in the basement, or is it just a cuddle party all the time? ‘cause there’s no in-between.”

“Tabarnak,” Sirius muttered, flicking Logan’s ear as he headed out of the room. “You two gossip like middle-schoolers.”

“It’s really not bad,” Remus mused as he stretched one leg toward the curtains. “I’m the one who likes running drills, so he’ll usually watch tape while I do that for a bit. Cuddles aren’t as frequent as you might think. We’re boring.”

“Mmm, with some wild nights in there, eh?” Logan wiggled his eyebrows and Remus chucked a pillow at him, though it did not seem to deter him. “I seem to remember hearing a certain conversation about a new bedframe?”

“A headboard,” Remus corrected, pulling a face at him. “And it was already almost ten years old. You’re just jealous.”

“Ugh, for him? Nah. Peanut might have carried a torch—”

“You’re kidding. Did he really?”

“Oh, yeah,” Logan snorted, as if it was obvious. “But he has better taste now. Honestly, though, I’m glad you two are together. And that you’re happy in your boring domesticity, even if you’re breaking beds left and right.”

“Headboard, and it was one time.”

“Did I ever tell you about—”

The front door slammed open; both of them jumped as something heavy hit the ground with a thud. “Sweetheart?” Celeste asked from the living room, audibly concerned. Remus’ heart dropped and he shared a worried look with Logan, who was already on his feet. “Adele, what’s wrong?”

“Adele?” Logan called, his voice laced with worry. Remus’ heartbeat picked up as Adele appeared in the doorway to the living room with tears streaming down her cheeks, only to throw herself into Logan’s arms with a harsh sob. “Woah, hey, qu’est—”

“Boys are so stupid!” she half-shouted, half-wailed. “And I hate them!”

Remus stood there, useless, as she tore away and sprinted for the backyard, yanking the door shut with a bang before tearing across the grass. “Logan?” he asked after a moment. There was no protocol for this. He had absolutely zero experience with preteen breakdowns, and the Dumais kids always fell into Logan and Sirius’ territory. He could count on one hand the number of actual conversations he had had with Adele.

Logan’s nose twitched; he opened his mouth to speak, but the words died in his throat when Sirius came through the doorway and made a beeline for the yard without a single glance to either of them. “She’ll be okay,” Logan murmured as Sirius walked slowly to the swings, where Adele was sitting on the bench seat with her arms wrapped tight around herself.

“She seems pretty upset.”

Logan shook his head, not taking his eyes off the pair. “I’ve got Katie, he’s got Adele.”

“Yeah?” Remus asked, surprised. Logan and Katie were famous for their bond, two peas in a pod. As far as he knew, Sirius was equally close with all the Dumais kids.

“Apparently, they bonded from day one,” Logan said with the flicker of a smile. Outside, Adele laid her head on Sirius’ shoulder and pulled his arm around her back, burrowing into the softness of his hoodie as he gently rocked the swing with his foot and gave her a light squeeze. “They’re both quieter. Oldest children and all that. You really didn’t know?”

“I…” Remus trailed off and shook his head. “You and Katie are much louder about it, but that makes sense. He talks about all of you all the time., I guess I just assumed it was different since he was so closed off at first.”

Logan hummed. “Ask about it sometime. Dumo always likes talking about them.”

Sirius and Adele walked back after a few more minutes, still attached at the hip as Sirius jostled her lightly and pulled half a smile from her; they entered the house in relative quiet and Adele wrapped her arms around him one more time. “Love you,” she said, voice muffled in his sweater. Sirius rubbed her back in slow circles until she pulled away and padded down the hall to the bathroom

“Children are so mean,” he said as soon as the door closed.

“Then I’m glad she has you.” Remus curled his hand around Sirius’ shoulder and felt him relax beneath his touch. “Is she alright?”

“Some little asshole told her nobody would want to date her because she plays hockey.”

Remus’ heart panged. “How can we help?”

“Teach her how to throw a right hook,” Logan suggested. In a rare turn of events, Remus couldn’t tell whether he was joking or not; from the look on his face, it seemed to be the latter.

“She’ll be okay, baby,” Remus said. Sirius didn’t look away from the closed door. “Kids have always been mean, but the best thing you can do is be there for her, which you just did. It’s hard and it sucks but as long as she knows you love her, that’s enough.”

“Does she?” Sirius asked, almost too quiet for him to hear.

Remus looped an arm around his waist and kissed the top of his shoulder. “She does,” he promised. Without a doubt.

IV

Sirius drummed his hands on the steering wheel with a wide smile. “I’m so excited,” he said for the fourth time in twenty minutes.

“I can tell,” Remus said, still reading through his missed messages. The cell service in customs had been abysmal, and for some godforsaken reason his dad desperately needed to send paragraph updates on his hunt for the perfect holiday lights. Some days, Remus wondered whether he was happiest with his family or in Home Depot.

“I missed them.”

“Yep.”

“And I can’t let Logan get there first.”

“Sure thing, honey. Speed limit.”

“Three weeks is a long time, did you know that?”

“Mhmm. Sirius, speed limit.”

“How do you manage being away from Jules for that long?”

“Very poorly,” Remus said as he typed out a quick response to his dad’s latest text. His mother would end him if he allowed their house to be decorated with anything green—in all honesty, he was starting to think she had a personal rivalry with the Snakes. They turned onto Dumo’s street and he felt the excitement radiating off Sirius kick up several notches. “Deep breaths, love.”

“Ah, fuck me, the cubs are right behind us,” he muttered, pulling over to the curb and unbuckling his seatbelt.

“Sirius!” Remus spluttered.

“What?”

“Turn the fucking car off before you get out!”

Sirius heaved a sigh and pulled the key out, then took off toward the house at a jog; Logan went sprinting past the passenger window half a second later, and Remus heard Finn shouting after him from the still-running car to no avail. They reached the front steps at the exact same time, shouldering each other in an attempt to reach the doorbell first.

“—want to push it!” Logan insisted, kicking Sirius lightly on the shin as Remus headed up the walkway.

“You did it last time!” Sirius argued.

“I’m the youngest, so I get to do it!”

“That’s not how it works!”

The door swung open just as Logan tried to bodily shove Sirius out of the way, only to be put in a scrambling headlock. Dumo regarded them with an exhausted look on his face. “Bonjour, Loops.”

“Hey, Dumo,” Remus called from the base of the steps. “Nice night, eh?”

He shrugged, ignoring the two grown men roughhousing on his welcome mat. “Not bad.”

“Are les enfants here?” Logan panted, trying to heave Sirius into the nearest hedge.

Dumo rolled his eyes and opened the door the rest of the way. “Kids, we have visitors!”

Thundering footsteps echoed off the walls; Logan and Sirius tripped over each other in their haste to get inside. “Tremzy!” Katie shrieked, launching herself into his arms with a beaming smile.

Sirius hoisted Adele straight off her feet and shook her back and forth as she wrapped her arms around his neck in a tight hug. “You were gone forever!” she laughed. “We missed you!”

“What am I, chopped liver?” Logan teased as he set Katie down and opened his arms for a hug of his own. Marc and Louis slammed into him, nearly toppling him in the entryway.

“No, no, no!” Katie giggled as Sirius blew a raspberry kiss on her stomach, only to mimic it on his cheek a moment later. “You’re all scratchy.”

“Tough for kisses,” Remus agreed. “You should tell him to shave, Katie-bird.”

Katie squished his cheeks in her hands with a solemn frown. “No more porcupines.”

“You got it,” Sirius confirmed. “What do you think, Adele?”

She pulled a face and they all dissolved into laughter, exhausted from the long roadie and unable to contain their happiness. It was a tradition Remus was coming to know as he spent more time with the team—Logan and Sirius just couldn’t resist swinging by the Dumais house after a long trip, no matter how drained and battered they were. It was a combination of a competition and a family reunion, and the kids loved it every time.

“Are you staying the night?” Marc asked, lazily tying Sirius’ shoelaces together.

“Not tonight, no.”

“But it would be fun,” Louis said from his place hoisted under Logan’s arm, legs dangling.

“They’re tired, boys, be nice.” Celeste winked at Sirius as he leaned down so she could kiss his cheek before moving to Logan to do the same. “We watched all your games. You were wonderful.”

“Merci, Celeste.” The corners of Logan’s eyes crinkled, and Remus saw Finn and Leo share a smile behind him.

Sirius craned his neck to look back. “Oh, she wasn’t talking to you.”

Logan stuck his tongue out as the kids laughed, still clinging to them both. Remus happily accepted a quick hug and a hair-ruffle from Celeste before she moved on to Finn and Leo, and settled in for a cozy evening at home.

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 2]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; cam show, masturbation, dirty talk, sir!kink, tiny jealous!seungcheol. Wow! Thank you all so much for your interest in Cherry Bomb and our very favorite simp! LMAO 😆 And thank you all for being so patient! I know one week drags on when ur waiting for content so thank you so so so so so much for your patience! 🥰🍒 also, some new characters in this, am sorry if ur not a fan but the rest of svt r also simps in this so we had to expand a bit 🤪 HAHAHA HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEUNGCHEOL!!!

chapters; 1 - 2 - ? 

It’s 10:05AM when Seungcheol makes it to work, tossing his things in his employee locker before pocketing his phone and heading out to the floor for the day.

He’d gotten approximately 3 hours of sleep and the giddiness was still eating him up when he greets Jeongguk; the tall male that works at the concession stand at the roller rink.

“Hey Seungcheol-hyung! Whoa, you look like you didn’t get any sleep, what happened to you?” The two share a laugh; Seungcheol ruffling his own hair as he sighs. “I couldn’t sleep last night, I was just too… Uh, excited about w-work…” He stutters out, Jeongguk’s eyebrow raised almost immediately at the blatant lie.

“Hyung, we’ve been working here for months. No offense, but nobody gets excited about coming here. Yoongi-hyung is hiding in the restroom as we speak.” Jeongguk deadpans, eyes rolling as he passes Seungcheol a water bottle. “Did you get laid?”

Not really, but kinda? But no, Seungcheol thinks.

“Nah, I just, I got a new PC game and I stayed up all night playing. You know how it is!” Jeongguk nods in understanding.

Seungcheol checks his phone for the umpteenth time since he’d woken up and you still hadn’t texted him. Not that he entirely expected to be woken up to a text message from you, but he perhaps had dreamt of it; waking up and scrambling to find the device while he shook the sleep from his eyes.

Sighing, he pockets the device, swiping the water bottle off of the countertop before he shoots Jeongguk a fixed stare. “When does Namjoon-hyung get back from his vacation?” Namjoon was one of the managers who’d gone on an extended vacation recently which left Seungcheol picking up extra shifts. 

On normal occasions, he would’ve politely declined but seeing as it meant extra cash, he practically begged to take them.

“Mmm, dunno. Maybe like a week?” Seungcheol mentally cheers; that meant one more week of extra pay even if he dragged his tired body home every night. He would finally be able to buy you that Sybian that he’d been saving up for. You never asked for one but Seungcheol liked to spoil you and quite frankly, he wanted to see you fall apart on it while you thought of him.

“Cool, well, I’ll be disinfecting the rollerskates. Tell Yoongi-hyung to come help me if he ever emerges from the restroom.”

“You got it, hyung!”

In the time between leaving Jeongguk at the concession stand and the fourth pair of skates he’s disinfected, a party of ten show up at the roller rink; loud and obnoxious as they set their things everywhere. He sighs, knowing exactly that he would be the one to clean up the mess afterwards.

Seungcheol watches the gaggle of teens fumble all over the rink, a sigh on his lips as he sanitizes another pair of skates. He contemplated every single day if it was worth working at the old and usually empty rollerskating rink, but he had to admit, it paid obscenely well. Nobody wanted to work there so his boss basically paid him double his old wage; silent screams running through his head as soon as he realized that meant he can afford to spoil you with more gifts. That had been hard when he was working at the diner down the street.

“Hey ‘Cheol, some kid broke the wheels off of his rental skates. D’you think you can go handle it?” Yoongi drawls, eyes glued to his phone as he waits for Seungcheol’s reply.

Goddamnit.

“Sure, let me just finish cleaning these.”

Yoongi nods, walking off. Seungcheol sets the old pair of skates down, dusting off his work pants as he stands up. He feels his phone vibrate in the pocket, fishing it out to check what it is.

[cherry_clouds has gone live!]

His vision goes red; pupils shaking when he sees it. You never went live this early in the day. He can feel his throat going dry, panicked screaming in his head when he realizes his break isn’t for another hour and a half and your shows usually lasted at least 45 minutes on a short day. But Seungcheol can’t miss this; not after the two of you had spoken last night.

Seungcheol’s teeth clench as he glances around the loud room, seeing his co-workers on the floor. He just needed to catch your show for at least 15 minutes and he swore he’d be fine.

“Fuck them kids.” He mutters under his breath, beelining for the employee restroom.

Seungcheol says a thankful prayer, locking the door behind him as he sits on the countertop. Just a few minutes; 20 tops. He lowers the volume so nobody can hear your voice except for him.

tangerine_kwan: whoa, a morning show?

alphagyu97: for once, i’m glad i wake up early

xcaliburDK: honestly, same

You giggle on screen, wiping the sleepiness from your eyes as you stretch out on your bedsheets. Seungcheol smiles appreciatively; you’d slept in the cute sheer lavender babydoll he’d sent you when you first hit 5k subs. “I know… it’s really rare, huh? I woke up and I felt so needy… I was so wet when I woke up…” He watches with bated breath as you tease yourself, running your hands from your torso down between your legs.

artist8hao: oh? what’s on your mind, doll?

universe_WZ: what did i miss

“I was just thinkin’, y’know? I couldn’t sleep last night after I finished all the important stuff I had to do~ ‘n you didn’t miss anything yet~” You tease, fingertips pressing into your soaking panties as you moan.

dom.cheol: i couldn’t sleep either… too busy thinkin’ about you ;)

Seungcheol feels the adrenaline pulsing through his veins, checking how much time has passed since he holed up in the restroom.

dom.cheol has donated $50

therealchan99 has donated $25

therealchan99: all the insomniacs are probably cryin rn

sleepy_wonu: speak for yourself, i’m deadass in the middle of my forensics lab with headphones on and the screen dimmed to hell

“Oho~ Is our sleepy_wonu trying to be a forensics scientist?” You giggle, biting your lip cutely as you stare into the camera lens.

sleepy_wonu: ya, maybe i can buy you gifts if i ever start getting paid big bucks

Seungcheol’s eyes narrow at the comments, jealousy bubbling up at one of your other regulars. He typically tried to keep his jealousy in check, knowing that just because he showered you with gifts didn’t mean the two of you were exclusive or that you owed him anything. And he especially knew you always liked to engage with your viewers and ask them about themselves.

“Hmm~ Our dom.cheol seems quiet this morning~ Everything okay, sir?” Seungcheol feels the arousal pouring over his body and he tries to will it away;  after all, he still needed to get back to work once you were done.

dom.cheol: everything’s ok, sweetheart. you’re very cute in the morning

Your eyes pierce the camera and Seungcheol can momentarily feel his breath stop; fingertips clutching his phone for dear life.

“Mmm, I went to sleep last night dreamin’ of nice and strong hands pinning me down to my bed ‘n fuckin me into the sheets…” You pause, slipping the sheer babydoll over your head which left you only in your lace panties. “And there was a really really really dominating voice making me cum and tellin’ me to take all of his cock and oh~ god, it’s like I could feel it!” You finish, slipping your soaking panties off before you spread your legs wide for the camera.

You don’t waste any time, plunging two fingers deep into your pussy as you keen, toes curling against the sheets as you start fucking yourself.

“Ngh, fu--fuck, ‘n they made me cum over and, hah, o-over, fucking my pussy ‘n my ass… ‘n then cumming down my throat… Mmh and I still wanted more even when they filled me up with so much cum~”

Seungcheol’s throat is drier than a desert, almost dropping his phone as he listens to you. There was absolutely no way you weren’t talking about him.

tangerine_kwan: holy shit

dom.cheol: what else, baby

You curl your fingers, barely able to touch your g-spot and it makes you wonder for a second how well Seungcheol could finger you and how much of his cock you could take.

“A-ah, and--mmh, and I--I kept begging ‘Sir, p-please fuck me more!’ ‘n I felt so f-full… God, it felt so real~ I really needed to cum when I woke up so I turned on my cam~” You whine, thumb pressing down onto your clit. You hated to admit it but thinking of Seungcheol’s deep voice and obscenely handsome good looks was enough to make you cum once more before you even went to sleep and now even your subconscious seemed to crave the devilishly handsome male.

alphagyu97 has donated $75

dom.cheol has donated $250

artist8hao: those cute ‘lil fingers enough to satisfy your greedy pussy?

Mewling, you start rubbing circles on your clit, chasing the quickly growing urge to cum. The sound of donations flood your ears but all you can think of is Seungcheol’s deep voice groaning and growling into your ear. “No~ I want m-more but… but I came so much last night too! Maybe I am a ‘lil greedy, huh?” You tease, adding a third finger as you moan loudly. The stretch felt good; head imagining Seungcheol’s fingers as you fuck yourself faster.

dom.cheol: why don’t you cum? I can see you want to, sweetheart.

“Mmm, is it okay, sir? Can I cum already?” You ask shyly, batting your eyelashes at the camera as Seungcheol grits his teeth, cock throbbing in his work pants. He would definitely need to take care of this before he stepped back out onto the floor.

dom.cheol: cum, babygirl, you deserve it.

Your eyes snap shut right after you read Seungcheol’s comment, biting your lip as you race to your orgasm. The sound of your fingers fucking into your wet pussy and your moans are all Seungcheol can hear, pupils blown wide knowing you just came thinking about him, probably. Or so he hoped, at least.

You can feel your legs shaking, threatening to snap shut as your orgasm crests; the sound of rapid fire donations battering your ears as you cum hard on your own fingers. Choked sobs and cries are all you can muster, shapes dancing behind your eyelids the entire time the pleasure washes over you.

xcaliburDK: well goddamn, good morning to me

sleepy_wonu: fuck

universe_WZ: i… speechless

Seungcheol smiles smugly to himself, mentally patting himself on the back.

“Mm… ‘m so tired…” You murmur, slipping your wet fingers from inside your pussy as you moan at the emptiness. Seungcheol watches as you lick your fingers, cleaning them off before you lay on your side facing the camera.

universe_WZ: i think u deserve a nap

alphagyu97: yea, cuz holy shit fuck that was hot

therealchan99: god i love it when u dirty talk

j__min has donated $400

j__min: me too, dollface ;)

Confusion crosses Seungcheol’s face at the newcomer, blood draining from his body at how much they seemed to donate on the first go.

“Huh? Oh! Do we have a new regular?” You inquire, sleepiness lacing your voice. A nap was definitely needed after the last 24 hours of your life.

j__min: ur quite cute, might need to keep my eye on u princess ;)

dom.cheol has donated $450

That’ll show them, Seungcheol thinks. He didn’t often think of himself as competitive either, but goddamn, would he go the extra mile for you.

You giggle tiredly on camera and he can see the sleepiness in your eyes, watching with fondness as you answer a few more comments, yawning cutely as you stretch out on the bedsheets again. He mentally thanks you for not giving the newcomer any extra attention.

dom.cheol: take a nap, sweetheart.

Nodding, you yawn once more. “Okay, everyone~ I think I’m gonna take that nap you all seem to want me to take, hehe~ ‘n then I’ll probably wake up and get some food delivered ‘cause I’m still really tired after last night… But I just can’t help it, y’know? Sometimes I just wanna be fucked nice ‘n hard by a real cock~” Winking, you say your goodbyes, thanking them for their donations and support; blowing the camera a kiss before you end the stream.

Seungcheol lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, body slumping atop the counter. He had loads of questions now that you were off air. Firstly, were you thinking about him? Secondly, who the fuck was j__min?

Shaking the thoughts from his head, he checks the clock. 45 minutes. He groans. At least nobody had come looking for him.

Seungcheol places his phone down onto the counter, biting his lip and palming himself over his work pants before he thinks, screw it.

A satisfied groan spills from his lips as soon as he wraps a hand around his throbbing cock, not wasting another second before he starts a quick pace. He imagines your tight pussy and your face contorting in pleasure as he fucks you into your own bedsheets, thrusting up into his clenched fist as the images linger in his mind. Licking his lips, he thinks about your sweet moans as you beg him for more, stray tears slipping down your cheeks when you call him ‘sir’ through choked sobs.

And it doesn’t take long before Seungcheol is cumming, teeth biting into his bottom lip to keep his noises in as the euphoria washes over him.

He sighs, sated, as he slows down his strokes, thankful he didn’t get any cum on his work pants.

Seungcheol gives himself a second to catch his breath, shuffling off of the countertop to get cleaned up before he steps back out. He grimaces when he meets his own eyes in the dingy mirror; he’d just gotten off at work while you did an extremely rare morning show. Granted, it wasn’t the lowest he’d ever felt but definitely was a contender.

Shaking his head, he steps back out, the outdated pop music hitting his ears as soon as the roller rink comes back into view.

The gaggle of teens are still on the floor, Jeongguk looks unbothered and Yoongi sits by the skate rental booth; not a single one of them even noticing he was missing for the approximate hour he was in the restroom.

He really loved his job.

That night, Seungcheol trudges home more tired than he usually is.

You still hadn’t texted him, which was fine. But he had checked his phone every second he had free, zoning out when he saw no new notifications.

Seungcheol toes his shoes off once he crosses the threshold of his studio apartment, making his way to the sofa before he flops down onto it. He scrolls through a few apps, mindlessly reading a few things before his stomach growls.

“Guess I should eat…” He mumbles to himself, placing his phone onto his chest before he closes his eyes for a second. Sighing, he relaxes, almost falling asleep. It was generally really loud at work with the people and the music always blaring, so he liked to bask in the quietness whenever he had the chance to.

This time, however, the peace and quiet doesn’t last long when his phone vibrates on his chest, alerting him of a text message. He grabs his phone at lightning speed, eyes wide when he sees a text message from an unknown number. Quickly opening the notification, his pupils shake as he recognizes your typing style almost immediately.

Unknown Number: Cheollie~ ><;; ‘m sorry I didn’t text sooner… i was kinda shy… and i slept so much too hehe~ oops~ i hope i’m not bothering you? i didn’t know when it was a good time…

Seungcheol shakes his head at his phone, sitting up as the excitement blooms within him again. He take a moment to figure out the best response, typing and erasing the same sentence three times before he sends it.

‘Not at all, sweetheart. ;) How was your nap?’

[doctor-gyro-gearloose]

Understanding Gyro Gearloose

A fair day in Duckburg, the sun was shining and the air was warm on the face a perfect day for a perfect date, thought the ever so brilliant Fenton Crackshell Cabrera who was meeting up with Huey outside of a small coffee shop.

“Fenton!” Huey says, “You asked me to be here, why?”

“Huey! You and Dr. Gearloose know eachother..” Fenton murmurs not making eye contact with Huey when his face begins to warm.

“I’d say so, is there something wrong?” Huey asked.

“No! Gosh there isnt, I was just...wondering if you’d help me...Please dont tell anyone else, but..I want to surprise Dr. Gearloose with a date.” Fenton explains, stammering as he started to sweat.

“Well, then you have come to the right place, oh boy this is exciting! Where do we get to start?” Huey asked.

“Well, if there’s one thing I have to remember about Dr. Gearloose is that I can’t do anything too dramatic, he stresses out easily.” Fenton explains. “Do...you have any advice?”

“You’ve come to the right place Fenton, I know exactly what you need. Sit down my friend!” Huey says.

Fenton smiles, “Oh thank you Huey, youre the best!”

“Of course Fenton, now the most important thing is it to set the mood, you said that Gyro gets stressed easily, so plan for something small.” Huey explains.

“That’s easy! We can watch a movie in the lab, thats his comfort place.” Fenton says.

“Perfect. No big surprises, just a good movie, and some snacks, you guys could get hungry, every good date has snacks.” Huey said.

“Hm, light snacks, Dr. Gearloose doesn’t eat snacks very often, but i know what he likes so I will provide that.” Fenton says.

“Mood lighting. That’ll be everything for your date, warm colors, make it comfortable. Blankets are a must.” Huey says, getting excited for Fenton.

“Yes! I have plenty of those! I’ll use as many as I can to create the most comfort for Dr. Gearloose..” Fenton says.

“What movie do you think will set the tone?” Huey asks.

“Darkwing Duck! I just know Dr. Gearloose will like it.” Fenton says,

“Great. Now we have all the elements for your perfect date.” Huey says.

Fenton smiles. “This is perfect. All I would have to do is get Dr. Gearloose out of the lab so i can decorate it, Boyd can help! He can fly, oh, it’ll be perfect!” He starts to get excited about his little date.

“I know exactly how to get Dr. Gearloose out of his lab, I’ll act like I’m interested in one of his new inventions, and then Ill suggest we show it to Scrooge, he will leave the lab with me and then you can swoop in, decorate it with Boyd, text me when your done and Ill take Gearloose back, and it’ll be perfect!” Huey says, he smiles happy for Fenton.

“I knew I could trust you Huey, thank you.” Fenton says. “You go get Dr. Gearloose now, Ill need as much time as I can get, I have something I want to show him as well.” Fenton says/

“Huey is on it. I wont let you down Fenton!” Huey says.

“This means so much to me, I hope it works.” Fenton says, only a little nervous now.

“Don’t worry Fenton, Ill make sure it works.” Huey says while the two make their way to Gyros lab, Fenton hangs back so that Gyro doesn’t see him sneak in, there would be no way for him to lie about what he was up to, not to Gyro.

Huey walks up to the lab door, knocking on it awaiting Gyro.

Gyro hears the knock, walking over to the door, he opens it. “Red Nephew?”

“Yes its Huey here! I was interested in knowing more about your inventions!”

A rare smile forms on Gyros face. “I never figured any of you would be so interested in my work!”

“You’re the coolest scientist we know! Of course I am.” Huey says while Gyro lets him in his lab.

Gyro adjusts his glasses while he walks to his workspace ready to start information dumping on Huey.

“Can you tell me more about your cool shrink ray?!” Huey asked looking in awe at Gyro.

“Of course!”Gyro picks up the Gearloose Microphone, “The Gearloose Microphone! The microphone that can make tiny voices loud, and of course shrink you to a microscopic size.” He starts to go on in even more depth, gesturing wildly as he spoke. “You see my work is very well crafted Red Nephew, you are smart for taking such an opportunity to understand my inventions. All of the accusations you’ve heard are wrong, my inventions are never evil just wildly misunderstood.” Gyro speaks while lil bulb peaks from his hat as he says ‘evil’.

Huey didn’t quite expect Gyro to talk so long. They were there for a long time before Gyro finally stopped talking to take a breather, Huey took the opportunity to ask Gyro to take his presentation to the manor.

“Can we go up to the manor? I bet Uncle Scrooge would love to hear about the Gearloose Microphone.” Huey gasp, “everyone would love to see it!”

Gyro looks at Huey; “You really think that?!” He sounded hopeful.

“Of course.” Huey says, he smiles “Lets go!” He takes Gyro by the arm running him out of the lab.

Gyro screams, breaking free as soon as the two left the lab. “Never touch me again.”

“Finally.” Fenton says sneaking into the lab, he was starting to worry that Huey was going to be unable to get him out of the lab.

“Hey! Psst Boyd I need your help.” Fenton calls to him.

“Fenton! What do you need?” Boyd asks.

“I’m planing a date with Dr. Gearloose, i need you to help decorate the lab a little bit.” Fenton explains.

Really?! Ill help decorate!” Boyd happily said.

Fenton and Boyd begin to look for some decorations. He took Hueys advice and decorated with warm colors, making the lab a comfortable place to watch a movie in.

“This is going to be a perfect date.” Fenton says while he strings up some lights over the large window in the lab. He continues to tidy the lap, ensuring it will be looking its best when Gyro comes thru the door. Boyd flies putting up little paper lanterns.

“Wow. The lab looks fantastic!” Fenton smiles, the lab nicely decorated, comfortable for Gyro. “Now to just set out some snacks.” Fenton looks all over the lab for food, Gyro didn’t keep to much at the lab, but Fenton was able to make due with what was there. “Perfect!”

He takes out his phone and Texts Huey that has done all that he had needed to do.

Huey gets the message all the way back at the manor, to his luck Gyro stopped talking as he got it.

“And thats the Gearloose Microphone!” He says with pride, while Huey and Scrooge clap for him.

Gyro looks over to the time, “I should really go back to the lab now.”

“I will take you down!” Huey says, walking to lead the way.

Gyro found it odd Huey suddenly liked him so much, but he was enjoying him, not that he would ever admit that.

The two walked to the lab, Gyro opens the door to Fenton standing by it with a rose.

“Dr. Gearloose.” He smiles, handing to him.

“What is the meaning of all this…” Gyro asked, as Huey just winked, leaving while wishing Fenton good luck.

“Well, Dr. Gearloose, you are always so busy working and all...I planned this, very not date to watch a movie!” Fenton explains.

Gyro looked puzzled for a moment, looking at Fenton and all the lights around the lab, sure looked like a date to him.

“Come on! I set up the movie over here in my laboratory!” Fenton takes Gryos hand walking him over to his tiny bathroom lab. “Here we are.” He opens the door, the two enter the small space. “Sit down! I set us up some blankets.”

Gyro didn’t say anything, he sat down while Fenton started up the movie for them, once he was set up he joined Gyro on the floor.

The lights dim and the movie starts, Gyro was still quite confused about what was going on, and why Fenton would put so much effort into something for him, it wasn’t like he deserved it, least he didn’t think so. He sighs, when Fenton looks over at him, smiling.

Gyro suddenly felt warm inside, in the moment he was glad it was dark, because he was in fact blushing, something that he would not have wanted Fenton to see.

The movie goes on, Gyro found himself getting closer and closer to Fenton the longer that they sat and watched Darkwing Duck, before he knew it, he was wrapping himself around Fenton, resting his head on Fentons shoulder; he hadn’t felt this relaxed in ages, it was a weird feeling for him, but he liked it. Fenton was warm, he was cold, the heat felt nice to him on his body, he almost didn’t want whatever it was he had to end. He in fact, had feelings for Fenton whether he wanted to admit it or not, he sure couldn’t deny it now, he smiles admiring Fenton and the movie.

It ends, the two were still quite quiet, not speaking a word, that was until Fenton spoke.

“Doctor Gearloose I would like to show you something...I have been working on.” Fenton says.

“Are you s—I mean of course, what do you want to show me?” Gyro spoke, he didn’t want to admit that he wanted to just stay on the floor snuggling to Fentons warmth.

Fenton smiles. “Behold! This is Gizmocloud.” He says while turning on his computer. “Here, put this on.” He hands Gyro a VR helmet.

Gyro puts it on his head; as Fenton joins him.

“It’s a virtual reality system I have been working on, heh, It’s still in beta. There’s glitches I dont know how to get rid of.”

Gyro was looking in awe, barely listening to Fenton, “This is...impressive F-er—intern.” He nearly slipped out Fentons name, but he couldn’t let Fenton know he liked him that much.

“You really think so?” Fenton says, while slyly turning on the sunset; setting the mood he thought.

“I do! This is incredible….oh forget it, Fenton.” Gyro smiles at him.

“I-I have a name.” Fenton smiles, he looks into Gyros eyes, taking his hand.

“Ah, well..” Gyro blushes, his feelings for Fenton growing stronger the longer they stood looking at each other.

“I think we have really good chemistry, Doctor Gearloose.” Fenton carefully kisses Gyro on the cheek, Gyro, now possibly overwhelmed by all these soft feelings he’s never felt for Fenton before, starts to tear up.

“You...mean all that..you did this all...for me?” Gyro asked.

“Of course, who else would I be doing anything for Dr. Gearloose, nobody is worth any amount of time or effect, just you are.” Fenton says, while Gyro unexpectedly hugs him tightly, his now very warm face touching Fentons.

“Fenton...thank you..” Gyro says, keeping his tight hold on Fenton.

Fenton smiles, overjoyed he couldn’t have asked this date to go any better than it did, quietly thanking Huey as well for all the help that he had provided making it possible.

Gyro then returns a small sweet to Fentons cheek, “Consider us even now.” He says, while he in reality also wraps around Fenton, kissing him softly.

While soft music begins to play, thanks to Boyd, the two return to reality.

Gyro is quiet again, looking at Fenton fiddling with his own thumbs.

“You ...don’t want this to end do you?” Fenton asked, he was starting to understand Gyros body language a lot more, understanding what he wanted without actually outright saying it.

Gyro shook his head, making Fentons statement true, he didn’t want it to end, not ever, he wraps himself around Fenton, causing the two of them to fall to the floor.

Fenton smiles, his date a larger success than he could have ever asked for.

The two of them laid snuggling for a long while until Fenton had fallen asleep, Gyro still wrapped around him admiring him, he couldn’t believe Fenton went thru all of that, just to have a simple little date with him. He didn’t realize how often he was pushing Fenton away until this point. Part of him felt guilty, but also lucky that Fenton had never once given up on him. He was greatful for him, truly he loved Fenton, he just never knew how to say it, until Fenton showed him how, just now. Gyro smiles, for once as he falls asleep wrapped around Fenton, where he could stay, forever.

[dinosaurtsukki]

housemates with shiratorizawa

helloo!! new headcanon series here hehe. i hope you like this very long set of headcanons!

how you ended up in a house with these guys:

they're such a tight-knit bunch considering the fact that they've been living in a dormitory throughout high school

it was probs semi or kawanishi who suggested getting an extra roommate to help with the rent (tendou and goshiki are accident prone they need someone to help pay for repairs)

so ushijima made and put up an ad for an extra housemate. although he didn't disclose the fact that you'd be rooming with 7 other dudes

you were kind of desperate for some housing at this point so you just went with it

the person who greets you at the door is shirabu. but its more like he saw you, your bag, and went back inside the house leaving the door open

you stood there for a whole ten minutes before kawanishi came up to invite you inside

you're instantly greeted by goshiki and semi cleaning the house like crazy. semi was punching a couch cushion so that it looked an extra soft pillow

tbh the only normal you see are ushijima and reon. they're probs the ones who interviewed you to see if you were a good fit as their housemate

despite how weird your first impressions of some of your housemates were, you were still keen to move in

and then that's when tendou decided to come home from the pet shop with an iguana

living there:

you're roommate ends up being shirabu because no one else wanted to room with him (jk they all drew straws and he was lucky)

he's a pretty good roommate: clean, keeps to himself, doesn't play music too loudly

except the fact that he ALWAYS HOGS THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM

the bathroom might as well just be his because it's FULL of beauty products. also shirabu takes a million years to get ready that at this point, everyone uses the downstairs bathroom

lmao y'all get your revenge tho by using some of shirabu's products when he's gone

its particularly you, semi, tendo, and kawanishi who like to do that

kawanishi: *walks past shirabu*

shirabu: bitch, did you use my fucking Splash of Pomegranate with Exfoliating Sesame Seeds: Rainforest of the Sun Bath and Body Works shower gel?

kawanishi:...no?

semi and reon are both roommates and are probably the most normal people in the house which is saying something

also idk why i feel like they both have a thing for scented candles but they're too shy to tell anyone

like,,, they have a closet full of scented candles and everything

reon: hey, want me to light up Spring Lake or Summer's Kiss?

semi: Summer's Kiss all the way

that's why they always keep their door locked and whenever someone knocks, they quickly snuff out the candle and fan the smoke out of the windows

you: whoa, why does it smell so nice here?

semi: ...air freshener

is kawanishi the only sane, normal person in the house? yeah, probably

he's the one who remembers to get groceries and buy toilet paper and shit and he's so happy he has you to help him out

the thing is though, he's a NOTORIOUS prankster. like, nobody suspects him because they assume its tendou who put packets of ketchup under the toilet seat but no, it was kawanishi

but his favorite person to mess with is his roommate: goshiki

okay goshiki is a Heavy Sleeper and one night you and kawanishi decided to draw criss-cross stocking marks on his legs with permanent marker

goshiki is an alright housemate. he's polite, does his assigned chores, rarely gets into your privacy

but oh my god every morning at 5 am he wakes up the entire house BY BLENDING PROTEIN SHAKES

you and shirabu considered soundproofing your room or chaining goshiki to his bed

ONE OF THE HOUSE'S GREATEST MYSTERIES: how does goshiki cut his hair?

tendou knows you've been dying to know why so one day he's all 'do you really wanna know?' and you're like 'HECC YEAH' and he takes your arm and brings you to goshiki's room

in there you find him with a bowl on his head and cutting along the rim with his scissors

shirabu is also with him but he has a ruler for his bangs

its the only time they ever get along

tendou and ushijima has hands-down the most chaotic room set-up

for one, half of it, ushijima's half, looks like a traditional japanese house

you know that scene in BNHA where todoroki was showing off his room? yes that one

y'all are like 'how was he able to bring tatami mats in his room?'

and then tendou's half looks like a weird-ass storage room complete with an iguana tank (yes he kept it)

tendou probs has those color-changing lights too

and the funny part about it is that both ushijima and tendou are completely okay with the set-up

also tendou has the most irregular schedule ever. like,,, circadian rhythms just wasn't installed in the being that is Tendou Satori

like,, he'll be making mac and cheese at 3 am and just enter your room asking if you want anything

you: WHY WOULD I WANT MAC AND CHEESE AT 3 AM???

shirabu, who's still awake because he's a med student: i'll have some

ushijima on the other hand has such a set schedule and daily routine. he's the definition of 'working like clockwork'

you guys even use him as your clock because why not?

you: guys what time is it?

reon: ushijima just left for his morning run so probably 7am

the only thing is that ushijima,,, generally doesn't cook??

and by that he likes to eat raw vegetables. no seasoning, no nothing

and he always offers to make people snacks and he does it so sincerely that you can't help but accept his snacks

*insert scene of you eating raw carrots at 11 pm while studying*

house incident: everyone being a closeted fan of Naruto

everyone in shiratorizawa is a closeted naruto fan (except for a few but we’ll be discussing) and no i don’t accept criticism on this

goshiki MAY have rock lee’s signature bowl cut and sometimes walks around the house in leg weights but he doesn’t say who he copies them from outright

but EVERYONE ELSE 

you started having your suspicions when you walked into semi and reon’s room looking for a pencil and found semi sitting in bed with a pile of tissues around him and his laptop on his lap

you guys stare at each other for a while and semi just quickly yells “I WAS WATCHING PORN”

you: I DON’T NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU’RE WATCHING

my boy semi was actually crying to that part in naruto when zabuza and haku died

his roommate reon on the other hand has a secret tattoo

it’s a sharingan tattoo and its on his back, just between his shoulder blades, which is why he doesn’t go around shirtless (his favorite character is itachi don’t @ me)

reon probably owns an akatsuki cloak too

kawanishi has an ENTIRE playlist of the naruto opening and ending tracks that he got from youtube and converted into mp3 format on youtube mp3 converter which he then downloaded and organized into a playlist with the album art when he was thirteen

sometimes you’ll hear him whistling Ikimono Gakari and everyone in the house is all 👂👂👂

tendou is the only one not lowkey about it but he’s not lowkey about anything he likes

and then one day you and tendou are in the kitchen and ushijima decides to watch tv while eating breakfast

while flipping through the channels he comes across the rock lee vs. gaara fight and he just decides to watch while eating

tendou’s like ‘wakatoshi? do you,,, like naruto?’

ushijima: is this naruto? it looks pretty cool

AND THEN YOU AND TENDOU JUST AMBUSH HIM AND GO INTO A TED TALK ABOUT HOW AWESOME NARUTO IS 

while you’re busy ranting about it, semi, goshiki, and reon, who recognize the unmistakable Sounds of Naruto, creep downstairs

semi: oh, cool. it’s naruto

reon: yeah, used to watch it when i was a kid

goshiki: hmm, seems like an alright show

and then USHIJIMA LOOKS AT GOSHIKI AND THEN AT ROCK LEE AND JUST GOES

‘hey, you remind me of that guy’

AND GOSHIKI ALMOST CRIES 

reon and semi end up sitting on the couch, trying to hold in their middle-school selves while watching 

and then kawanishi comes in and he’s just like OH MY GOD NARUTO!!

now almost everyone in the house is watching. at that part when rock lee drops his weights reon and semi jump off the couch and cheer

they can’t hold themselves back anymore

last but not the least, shirabu, who came back from class, walks into the living room to find all of his housemates cheering and crying in front of the TV that’s playing naruto

shirabu: omg u guys are lame

goshiki, sobbing: WE’RE NOT LAME IF WE FOLLOW OUR NINJA WAY

shirabu: welL, OBVIOUSLY THE BEST FIGHT SCENE IS WHEN NARUTO AND ROCK LEE GO AGAINST KIMIMARO YOU UNCULTURED FUCKS

and then he runs up to his room before coming down with THE FULL BLU-RAY DISC SET OF NARUTO ALL THE WAY UNTIL SHIPPUDEN

basically you guys end up watching naruto all day and semi finally admitted that he wasn’t watching porn the day you came into his room

taglist (still open to anyone who wants in!): @montys-chaos​ @miyumtwins​ @strawberriimilkshake​ @pocubo​ @sugawara-sweetheart@akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan@therainroguefanfiction@atetiffdoesart@stephdaninja@oikaw-ugh@charliefredb@dramaqueenweeb1469@tremblinghearts@applepienation@doodleniella

[amphtaminedreams]

Spring/Summer & Haute Couture Week 2021: Whoops, I’ve Missed a Loooot (Part 2)

Hey to anyone reading,

I’m so sorry for the gap between the last fashion week review post and this one! Argh. I had no idea I posted it as long ago as the beginning of March but I think we can all agree that lockdown has fucked with our perceptions of time completely. I wish I could say the delay in posting was as simple as me being busy but I’ve also started to reflect on whether or not I want to carry on this format of posts for the time being; on the scale of problems, this one is wayyy down there in the very lower quartile of the first world region, but my motivation to carry on this kind of content in the form of long-winded text posts is...meh...not so much there anymore. At first I was thinking the issue was that working on these was my last priority on my daily to-do lists but as I’ve got back into writing fiction, it’s kind of occurred to me that the fact I was putting these posts on my to-do lists in the first place along with things like doing the ironing and contacting student finance speaks volumes. When I’m back from work or winding down, opening up Tumblr and coming back to this draft isn’t something that I think of as a fun stress reliever in the way drafting stories is. It doesn’t feel like I’m using my imagination or my creativity or expressing myself in any way and it’s not much of an escape from day to day life in the way that writing dialogue or exploring characters is. Maybe it’s because I’ve done quite a few of these posts now but I just tend to feel like I’m repeating myself, you know kinda like when you’re writing an essay and trying to fill up a word count; of course there are collections that I do have a lot of opinions on but by and large, sometimes it boils down to THESE CLOTHES ARE JUST FUCKING PRETTY, OKAY?! There’s only so many things you can say about a tulle skirt or an exaggerated collar before you want to strangle yourself with said tulle. I used to think iF VoGUe RuNwaY wRitErs CaN dO iT WhAT's MY exCusE until I realised that 1). Vogue Runway writers actually get paid and 2). for the most part all they do is explain the designer's intentions behind the collections verbatim without giving a critical opinion anyway.

I think a lot of the pressure I feel to justify what are in reality quite simple observations and opinions goes back to some of the feelings I explained in my first ever fashion week review where people who know more about fashion and have a formal education in the subject tend to be kind of gatekeep-y and elitist. It can never be that you appreciate different things about a collection but rather than one of you has taste and the other doesn’t and if it wasn’t obvious, the taste level assigned to you by the powers that be tend to positively correlate with the amount of money you have available to spend on a degree that has a reputation for failing to provide a steady income, which for most makes it an unrealistic avenue to pursue. I know, I know, the pressure is totally self-inflicted and wholly imagined seeing as I have under 500 followers on here and those who do interact with these posts most likely do so for the pictures but I still feel it, and given that I’m going to have enough external pressure to write essays when I return to uni in September, why on earth am I wasting time putting it on myself? When just posting photosets of my favourite looks is not only actually enjoyable for me but is also what other people WANT to see too? Nobody wants to read a self-indulgent paragraph like this when they’re here for the clothes and to be honest, for the most part I don’t want to write them anyway unless it’s something I have strong feelings about or if a collection can only be properly appreciated with analysis. I think I’ve made pretty clear which designers I’m a fan of, do you really need to hear me raving about Gucci or Zimmerman or Miu Miu or Balenciaga again? Is there gonna be anything revolutionary in yet another rant about Maria Grazia? Course not. I mean, if you are reading, you might have to witness those things one last time because I do intend to finish off this season’s review in this format for consistency purposes and because I’ve already got all the notes now but on the whole, I doubt anyone will miss my rambles.

So, with all that in mind, I think after I finish my S/S21 posts I am gonna start just uploading these posts without the written part. I mean, for one, the simplicity of doing this means I’m much less likely to procrastinate making them which in turn means I’ll be able to get them out right after the shows as a kind of summary as opposed to months later when they’re no longer as relevant. This will also give me more time to work on the writing I actually enjoy. Right now I’m going through and editing my 17 year old self’s “grown-up” take on the Pretty Little Liars blackmail murder mystery style plot line which I wrote back when I was completely and utterly obsessed with the show and bitterly disappointed by the last couple of seasons. The writing is pretty mediocre and often hugely cringey to read back now but I am still a fan of the basic plot and I’m genuinely motivated to see if I can make it something actually worth reading, and to get onto that ASAP; this feels especially important right now given that the HBO version of the series’ apparent upcoming release has sent that ever-present writer’s fear of seeing-your-same-storyline-done-better-by-somebody-else-thus-forever-relegating-your-version-to-being-the-poor-imitation-so-you-gotta-get-there-first into overdrive (or maybe that’s just me and my neuroses). Again, it’s a totally unfounded fear based on the fact that the HBO show will probs get millions of viewers whilst I will be doing little more than shouting into the void but anybody who’s used Turnitin to submit an essay that ultimately counts for little more than like 1% of your grade or degree will know that no matter how irrelevant your work is, the concept of failing a plagiarism check, be it via a computer algorithm or one random stranger on the internet’s assessment, is enough to conjure visions of the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse galloping towards you screaming “START THE WHOLE THING AGAIN” before releasing a hoarde of 2015 Chanel vs. Walmart style comparison memes.

Now, speaking of Chanel, I should probably get back into the reviewing. 

So for the last time for a little while, here’s Christian Siriano:

Siriano’s designs are a great example of work I feel guilty enjoying. I know that when it comes to quality, the high fashion community have a lot of (negative) things to say and I really can’t speak to that because quite honestly, I know very little about textile manufacturing. Solely from my own point of view though, I do like his work a lot. I wouldn’t claim for a minute that he’s a pioneer in terms of his creations but I would 100% love to wear them and I DO hugely admire his commitment to putting women of all sizes on the runway and designing pieces that don’t simply cater to straight up and down types which is more than can be said for most brands. I get that his collections are pretty formulaic, taking what has worked for the likes of Chanel and Alessandra Rich, De La Renta and Carolina Herrera, Michael Kors too (who is kind of guilty of the same thing himself), but that’s not to say his work is bad. Let’s be real, we’ve been on this planet thousands of years, we’re all taking inspiration from someone, and maybe figures like Kors and Siriano could wait a *little* longer before taking said inspiration but their aim at the end of the day is to sell clothes, not break barriers, a task which although often left to the big name brands, they too often fail at. I’m not going to lie, I’m feeling this whimsical mid-century tea party vibe, it’s elegant and it’s cutesy and My Fair Lady-esque, and you bet your arse I would be absolutely thrilled to wear one of these looks on a summer red carpet. I just can’t say no to anything tulle-maybe it’s that I was on Toddlers & Tiaras in a past life or maybe it’s that I watched too many Barbie Princess films growing up, but I like pretty much everything going on here, especially Siriano is giving us matching fedoras too. Plus, can we take a moment to praise Siriano for his COVID relief efforts? Near the beginning of the pandemic, he turned his studio into a mask manufacturing factory in order to send them out as donations, and I think that is very cool.

Then there’s Christopher Kane who once again came through with the most insanely gorgeous prints:

I mean, paint splattering is hardly a new technique but I haven’t seen it done as a print so tastefully before-it eats the Moschino biro scribble print (which apparently was copied too speaking of the tendencies of designers to “borrow” inspiration) for breakfast. It’s shit because there weren’t many looks in this collection and they weren’t really shot in a way that does them any justice but I thought I’d include the few I saved.

Comme Des Garcons is a fave of the high fashion community and one I look forward to seeing at fashion week but can never quite get behind. I appreciate the what-the-fuckery of it all with this show totally being able to pass as a run-through of some kind of nuclear waste themed scare house at one of Thorpe Park’s fright nights. I assume given that and the plastic Mickey Mouse print it’s supposed to be some kind of reference to the part late-stage capitalism has played in the hellish landscape we find ourselves in today? Or something all intellectual? In which case I made my interpretation with farrrr too much confidence. But Anyway! Who knows! I’ll leave the analysis to the fashion students, and give it one word: trippy.

Onto Dion Lee, a brand I truly do get excited to talk about because it’s rare that I don’t LOVE his work.

Without fail, Lee manages to be confidently ahead of the curve without going out of his way to announce it and his genius to everyone with flamboyant shows and exaggerated designs and extortionate prices. He is very much an underdog in the fashion world in terms of big names but you’ll be hard pressed to find anyone who doesn’t love his collections. His S/S21 collection is one of my favourites of the bunch. I love seeing something I’ve never seen before and the palm leaf breast plate is so odd but so cool and so perfectly Dion Lee at the same time; we’ve seen jungle/tropical inspired collections sooo many times *cough cough D&G cough cough* and THIS is how you make them fresh and unique. I mean, never in a million years did I think I’d get behind the resurgence of the gladiator sandal trend but Lee has me changing my mind. This is one of the very rare times you will ever see me using this meme to praise a man but:

I mean, he has Fernanda Ly modelling for him, that the man has taste goes without saying.

Now for a bit of a full circle moment, given that I did actually praise Dior’s haute couture collection in my first ever post; Maria Grazia did GOOD. Well, with haute couture at least.

She’s always pretty hamfisted with her references, there’s no denying, with that Grecian Goddess style RTW collection typifying that statement completely, but luckily she struck gold this time round; as someone who studied the Tudors for A-level history, seeing a modern take on the exaggeratedly feminine renaissance silhouettes with the baroque prints and the deep jewell tones got me super excited especially when you throw in the dreamy tarot theming and the nods to the mystical and arcane. Seeing as the Heavenly Bodies Met Gala (I know, I know, I need to move on) was some time ago now and Cersei Lannister’s *SPOILER* been crushed by a rock (could also be seen as a metaphor for the irrelevancy David Benioff and D.B Wise condemned GoT to when they aired that shitty ending tehe) and so probably won’t be getting a collection based on her costumes any time soon, this is the only fashion take on this kind of period dress I’m going to get…and you know what? I’m okay with that. Thanks Maria, I guess?

Her RTW collection wasn’t absolutely awful either, and slightly better than the past few collections at least. Put a monkey in a room with a typewriter (or show it enough similar well-received collections) and it will eventually write something that makes sense, don��t they say? I like the nomadic feel of a lot of the looks and there’s beautiful layering going on but the aura of exotic opulence unsurprisingly didn’t stick around for long and I found that there was a decline in quality in the midsection of the show that landed a lot of the outfits in either awkward mother of the bride at a beach wedding or The Only Way is Essex Ocean Beach PLT sponsored poolside party territory. The looks picked back up a bit towards the end stretch of the show but I wasn’t a fan of the Gucci style oversized glasses which were so out of place with the rest of the theming that if anything they seemed like a cheap grab at relevancy. So yeah, a middling, subpar Etro-esque collection which is better than usual for Dior I suppose.

Next, Elie Saab, whose S/S21 collection was kinda disappointing, tbh. Oh how the turns have tabled given that positive Dior review and my usual love of Saab’s collections.

I know his dresses lose some of their appeal when we can’t see them in motion but even ON the runway I can’t see myself being dazzled by any of these pieces the way I usually am. They’re lacking the level of detail and craftsmanship I associate with the brand seemingly in favour of block colours and suits and the issue is that the whole Disney Princess fantasy has always been the appeal for me because the silhouettes aren’t interesting enough on their own. They’re not ugly pieces, they’re nice, but does nice really have a place in high fashion when the pieces are so basic in both their design and presentation that the shots could pass as ripped from a catalogue? The strongest parts of the collection were when it did go down the more delicate route with the muted blue suits and the white feather trimmed dresses, the small, ornamental gold details reminding me of a very toned down nod to Schiaparelli’s hardware, but with regards to the bright coloured pieces, I can’t lie-they did look like something you could find in the M&S Per Una holiday section. Then you’ve got the weakest parts, which were just flat out ugly: sheer giraffe print, sweat band style elasticated waits, and long chiffon shirts that I hate to admit read as frumpy. There are times where I’ve not been particularly excited by an Elie Saab collection in the past, but I do think this is the first time I’ve actively disliked parts of it.

Conversely, Erdem’s S/S21 collection was super strong, and solidified the brand’s place in my mind as a dependable source of kooky maximalism, this time round giving us  Anya Taylor Joy’s Emma wardrobe on speed. You could tell me Erdem Moralıoğlu had just raided the Bridgerton set’s fitting rooms and put it on a runway and I would 100% believe you and I mean that in a positive way because to give my unpopular opinion, the clothes were the only good thing about that show. The endearingly florid details of exaggerated bows and clashing florals were still there but this time in a way that felt more subtle and self-assured, as if the calming influence of the wooded set’d had a direct hand in the designs, giving the rugged, ethereal feel to the collection I associate with brands like Brock and Simone Rocha, all whilst keeping the parts of Erdem I’m so fond of.

Is it really much of a shock that I included pretty much every look from the Etro S/S21 show?  Like, you know that Christian idea of God, like, (the voice in my head is very much taking on the dumb valley girl voice that anybody who reads this is most probably getting too) knowing our souls? I think Veronica Etro knows mine. So no, no surprise. Though there were a few unconventional touches thrown into these looks (the campier prints and nautical theming we see with the 80s beach towel print, for example, reminded me a bit of Versace) the mystical bohemian it girl that Etro designs for would still be highly satisfied. Sure, it might be a wardrobe fit for a holiday less adventurous than backpacking but if she wanted a tropical poolside holiday, this collection is the one, the paisley print chiffon mini and maxi dresses especially. I’m just gonna pretend I don’t see the monstrosity that is leggings worn as trousers-it’s a fashion rule I refuse to abandon-because they are the only stain on an otherwise expectedly gorgeous collection.

Next, an unusually reserved RTW collection from Fendi:

More in line with the wardrobe of a European fashion editor than the glamorous trophy wife (who let’s say uses that facade as a guise to ruthlessly run her husband’s whole business empire from behind the scenes because in this house we do complex female characters only), these pieces are lot “smarter” and more professional looking than Fendi’s typical offerings; where I feel Fendi usually designs for the society girl who wouldn’t mind a front page scandal, these are the kind of outfits a young member of Monaco’s royal family would wear for a positively received but business-as-usual press tour. I know, Fendi is an Italian brand, but this is more Southern France to me. We’re talking some 2nd page shots of a Kate Middleton type on a yacht on the Riviera smiling and waving as her PR team’s ideal scenario. Still, whilst fewer exaggerated silhouettes, animal prints and overtly luxurious fabrics (real leathers, silks and furs for example) mean that the drama’s a little toned down, it’s all still very expensive looking and combines the classically feminine glamour of the past and the minimalism of modernity in the artful manner that we’re used to. Maybe it’s me being a basic bitch but I always love seeing Ashley Graham on the runway too, even if brands to tend to use her as their single token plus size model.

Kim Jones’ debut haute couture collection for Fendi, however, wasn’t a very well received one. I don’t hate it personally but I can see where the criticisms are coming from. Whilst it’s closer to the version of Fendi I’ve come to expect and there were some stunning pieces which completely encapsulated that distinctive aura of luxe and glamour, there were quite a few lazy pieces which could’ve been from any designer. I also felt the collection was a bit upstaged by what seemed to be a who’s who of the modelling world; having Bella, Cara, Kate and Naomi ALL walk in one show was a bit distracting and took the focus off the clothes completely.

Giambattista Valli’s RTW collection was gorgeous as ever; the man has undeniably mastered the art of delivering classic, objective elegance, the kind of designs I feel would make you light on your feet and smell like strawberries and cream the minute you put one on. Whilst as a brand his RTW shows are rarely trendsetting, they reliably produce a plethora of unfailingly graceful and demure pieces, as appealing to your mum and your grandma as they are to young women and little girls, and this collection is another victory lap for Valli when it comes to upholding his signature tea party and artisan cupcake making and rose garden strolling and bottomless rosé brunch appropriate aesthetic. There were a lot of outfits that were bordering on overly juvenile, with structures a little too basic to justify the amount of sequins thrown on, but when it’s good, it’s so sweet that regardless of how to formula it is, I can’t help but fall in love.

Valli’s haute couture collection was stunning too and for sure a more exciting offering than the RTW. There was of course a lot of the signature tulle but it was head-turning, over the top in a way that leant far more towards the experimental than I expected. The photos themselves are 100% believable as a some kind of Vogue behind the scenes editorial shoot on the set of live action Disney princess movie (in between takes of the climactic ball scene if you wanna get specific with the vision); if you are looking for a prettier alternative to the primary colours and disruptive shapes of a Molly Goddard collection, this is the one. It’s giving the themes of excess and abundance I associate with that of the Hunger Games Capitol but through the softer lens of a Sofia Coppola movie, and being the typical cinema loving white girl I am, I’m obviously on board with that vibe.

I did SUCH a 180 on Givency’s S/S21 collection from when I first saw it to writing a review. My initial reaction was one of disappointment, I guess simply because Givenchy has given us so many bold pieces and presentations over the last few years whereas this is more low-key. After properly considering it though as I would any other brand, I came to the conclusion that I do actually really like it. It’s still got the strange, androgynous silhouettes popping up throughout and the futuristic space-age details but with a more down-to-earth, streetwear feel, albeit a very slick, glossy spin on the trends of the rabble (that’s us guys) of course before we go believing it’s achievable. On the one hand, the devil horn accents are a touch Claire’s accessories halloween range but at the same time, done with confidence they’re kind of cool and bring something new and fun to the table in line with the dark theatre of Givenchy’s last few shows.

Now for Gucci, which for the first time I have to say, if I'm attempting objectivity, is not a standout. 

Like, can I just start by saying though the format it’s presented in is cute, it’s not ideal as a way of actually showing the collection. I get that the vintage shop bin vibe is a huge part of Gucci’s brand but polaroids make it SO hard to actually see the clothes, and that’s what we’re here for right? I don’t want to give the impression that I don’t like what I see here-the clothes are gorgeous, an idyllic ode to the off-duty wardrobes of Studio 54-ers, bohemian style icons like Charlotte Rampling and young Olivia Newton-John, psychedelic rock guitarists and the inhabitants of San Fransisco’s Haight during the late 60s and early 70s, Alessandro Michele’s favourite period of reference. I can’t pretend otherwise, or act like I wouldn’t want to wear the shit out of this collection. Buut, for Gucci? It’s a little underwhelming. These are the kind of filler looks we get in a typical Gucci show to go alongside the more statement pieces, which this collection is lacking. It’s just that these are designs which usually gets people talking and these pieces don’t do that. It sucks because for most other brands this would be a stand out collection, an immersive, luscious vignette of what people tend to think of as a cultural golden era, but when you’ve had a show that involved models carrying replicas of their own decapitated heads down the runway in the last 5 years, of course something more toned down like this is gonna generate a lot of “is that it?”s.

I owe Hermes an apology. Looking back, I have disliked all their previous collections for the same reason that I now really like this one; maybe it’s in part down to the frustration of still having to whack out the winter coat on occasion in May (fuck British weather and climate change), but suddenly I really appreciate the value of some good quality, versatile outerwear. Hermes is giving us that in spades here and for that, I bow down to them. The pieces on offer are clearly well-made and genuinely practical, and through the minimalist approach manage to retain both an air of timeless sophistication whilst also being youthful and on trend. The leather tactical vest co-ord I can easily see edged up and taking centre stage on one of those insane Seoul street style slow-mo TikToks that were big a couple of months ago and there are several pieces that could tie together a grunge influenced k-style look just as well as they could exist for years on end as the wardrobe staple of a high-powered businesswoman. Designer Nadège Vanhee-Cybulski’s strengths really come through with the simpler looks and it’s the patterned pieces that drag down an otherwise flawless collection; I guess because the aesthetic is very minimalist, the patterns can’t be anything overly decorative but unfortunately this has a bit of a dowdy effect when you pair it with such modest silhouettes. Disregarding those elements of the collection though, it was super good.

It goes without saying that Iris Van Herpen’s haute couture collection was breathtaking; if the fashion community can agree on anything, it’s that this woman’s work is consistently awe-inspiring. She captures the wonder of the universe, the biological structures and kaleidoscopic colours we don’t even register, through fashion in a way that others can only imitate, to mesmerising, truly transcendent effect; I can only assume Van Herpen has mother nature whispering into her ear because how the hell else do you explain her ability to take the kind of microscopic organisms they show you images of in an outdated GCSE science powerpoint and make a dress that resembles one so stunning? Care to explain, Iris? Because if there is some kind of line of communication between the two of you can you please tell the bitch I’m over this weather and that I have cute summer outfits I’m waiting to wear so can she pack this torrential rain shit in? K, thanks xoxo

See it seems shady as fuck to go from IVH to Isabel Marant like this because we are talking 2 designers with totallyyyy different approaches to fashion; Iris Van Herpen is haute couture for starters whereas Marant is commercial, and that’s her thing, but unfair comparisons aside this collection is still a bit of a let down. This is considering I do usually really like Isabel Marant collections based on whether or not I’d wear the pieces, which seems a more appropriate barometer to use to come to a quality verdict. Whilst there were a few of the elegant bohemian pieces my mind goes to when it comes to her brand, the steps outside of that comfort zone didn’t pay off; graffiti print (can be cool if done with some subtlety which apart from a few exceptions was not the case here), cheap looking reflective fabric, and MC Hammer style dungarees, it seems to be an attempt to merge 80s trends with modern urban culture, and an attempt that at times verged on the disastrous. It’s good for a brand to experiment, of course, and appeal to a wider client base than usual, but when it’s bad the unfortunate take away is that the design team don’t have the chops to pull off straying from familiar territory; designers wouldn’t be showing at fashion week if this was truly the case because disregarding the influence of nepotism, fashion is an area you need real talent, perseverance and business smarts to excel in, and so it doesn’t do a team justice when they do fail.

J.W Anderson, on the other hand, really put his best foot forward this season and presented this work in a really cool way too which only added to the positives; whilst the way the shots were edited was funky af, it didn’t detract from the actual outfits, and if we are to see the same limitations when it comes to the F/W collections being released, this is something a lot of designers and editing teams should take note of. The idiosyncratic exaggerated shapes that we see as a recurring feature of Anderon’s collections were still on show but this time round with added femininity, billowing skirts and trailing jewellery that channel the stage looks of Stevie Nicks in a way that’s modern and functional and maybe even fit for the office if you were to work in a more creative industry with a chill boss. Could also work for a coven of witches who practice meditation by bonfires in the moonlight and burn the letters of men who wronged them in some Arizonian desert, so like I said, functional! Who doesn’t like versatility? The only thing I’m not too keen on is the shoes but they’re not so bad that it affects my opinion of the collection and they look comfy I guess.

Lastly, we’ve got to talk about Jacquemus, one of the most influential names in fashion at the moment. And yes, this time round, I’m doing it: I’m buying into the hype.

This collection is gorgeousss! I can see already that a lot of the recurring elements of the show are going to be big summer trends for this year (the cut outs and strappy details on the blouses are everywhere already) even though it isn’t hot enough to have collectively decided the time to start dressing for heat is upon us yet, and that’s always a good indicator of how successful the designer was in their vision and attempts to assess the needs and wants of fashion enthusiasts; whether I’m as big a fan of his work as everyone else seems to be, there’s no denying Simon Porte Jacquemus has always excelled at this practice if the buzz around him is anything to go by. It makes sense given the last year of us all being stuck in and suppressed that a lot of us are already romanticising the summer ahead, anticipating picnics and beach days and general Theresa May running through wheat fields type shenanigans galore, in spite of how dubious an assumption it is to make that British weather will allow for this; Porte Jacquemus has very much catered to this wishful thinking and the popularity of the whole escapist “cottage core” aesthetic, sexing it up a little bit with pieces that hug the body in ways only Mugler knows how whilst being lightweight and relaxed enough to look good with windswept, sandy hair and a little dose of sunburn. I’m talking enough to give you some cutesy freckles and rosy cheeks not PSA on the importance of suncream territory, guys, what is it with those of us on the gen Z/millennial cusp not taking sun damage seriously!? Why do I have to beg so many of my friends to wear it!? Does nobody else remember those photos they’d show you in PSHE in English primary schools of burnt people’s skin under UV lights? Or is that just me being weird and only having such a vivid memory of the images because teachers told us we had to wait until year 6 to see them due they to their “graphic” nature only for my gore-loving self to be extremely underwhelmed when we finally did get that lesson? They showed us a woman giving birth in year 4 for fuck’s sake. THAT was traumatising.

Back to the actual point anyway, with just a couple of negatives, the first of which being that the pieces are very similar to those feminine looks we saw dotted about the Jacquemus menswear collection from last year that were all over fashion Twitter. In Simon Porte Jacquemus’ defence though, it makes sense that those tones and silhouettes would be revisited in a full womenswear collection for that very reason; considering they went down so well and that lockdown gave us a bit of a half-baked summer in 2020, expanding on those elements enough for a whole new collection makes good business sense. We did get some cool additions too, mainly in the form of accessories, with the hardware details on the belts similar to those included in the Givenchy collection and the abstract hair slides being standouts for me. It was all exquisite-the shoes, the jewellery, the styling, everything 10/10. My other nitpick, and I say nitpick not because it’s not important but because it’s an issue that’s hardly restricted to Jacquemus (this casting team are far from the worst offenders, Saint Laurent I’m looking at you), is that I WISH we’d see more diversity with the models. Despite what my body dysmorphia yells at me, I am small, and yet seeing all those fucking minuscule waists made me die a little inside; it’s crazy to me that in 2020 the lack of variety in body types on the runway is still such a problem.

I must have said this a million times but I don’t want to end on a negative note so let me reiterate: this collection was STUN. NING. Plus there were some others I’ve talked about in this post that I’m sure will make it into my top 20 in the final part, Jacquemus, Dion Lee and Etro for sure; we even got some gorgeous pieces from Maria Grazia which I thought was a sentence I’d never type out. Have I said enough to not leave a bad taste in the mouth of anyone who read to the end of this post? I hope so, lol! TBH, it’s impressive given everything that’s going on that the majority of designers did roll out collections in September as usual so serious respect to them and their design teams for that.

In the next post, I’ll fingers crossed be able to include everything from Kim Shui (exciting!) through to at least Off-White (actually pretty good this time?!) and make this whole thing a 4 parter before getting straight on top of the photo posts I’m thinking about doing for the time being for the F/W21 shows. So as usual, if you did read to the end thank you so much and I respect the perseverance you must have to get through all my rambling, lmao. Hope everyone is well and coping okay and again, my inbox is always open for any post suggestions, constructive criticism, or just a chat for anyone who needs a listening ear.

Big love and thank you again!

Lauren x

[tuiccim]

Santi (Part 5)

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Words: 2219

Warnings: Fluff, flirt, smut  

Trigger Warning: Mentions of sexual harassment/assault and torture

Summary: Six weeks later. You (Santi) and Bucky are learning more about each other. 

Santi Masterlist

Day 40

Another morning where you wake up wrapped in Bucky’s arms. It had been almost six weeks since he had moved in. Your relationship was a mixture of passion and ease. Able to kick ass together, be quiet together, and have endless amounts of fun. It just felt right, still.

You extricate yourself from Bucky’s arms and scoot to the end of the bed while Bucky sleepily whines, “Noooo….” while reaching for you. 

“Sorry, Sarge. I promised Sam I’d make pancakes.” You say leaning down to kiss him.

“Birdbrain doesn’t deserve them.” Bucky pulls you until you fall on top of him. 

“He got back from a hard mission last night.” You squeal as Bucky attacks your neck and puts a hand between your legs. 

“You're already wet for me, baby. Stay with me.”

You push Bucky down and straddle him. “We’re gonna have to make it quick. I have to make pancakes.” you whisper against his lips as you line him up with your entrance. 

“Fuck.” Bucky groans as you seat yourself fully on his cock. You begin working him in and out of you setting a fast pace. After a few minutes, Bucky grabs your hips and thrusts up into you. 

“Yes!” You moan as you move a hand to your clit. The coil in you tightening as Bucky’s cock thrusts deep in you. It only takes another minute and you shatter with a long moan. You clench around Bucky milking him of his release. You lean down to kiss Bucky and then move to get up. 

 “One more.” Bucky says. 

“Orgasm or kiss?” You laugh. 

“Both.” Bucky looks at your hopeful. 

“Mmmmm...gonna have to be kiss. I need to make pancakes. I’ll make some blueberry for you.”

Bucky harumps but let’s you go. 

You are just finishing the first batch of pancakes when Steve and Sam come in. “Morning, guys!” You smile sweetly. “Coffee’s made. How many pancakes you want?”

“All of them!” Sam smirks. 

“I’ll just put the platter on the counter and you two can duke it out. Morning, chickies! And Vision.” you say as Nat, Wanda, and Vision wander in and finally, Bucky. 

Bucky walks up behind you and puts his arms around you. “Morning, Doll.”He says while kissing the side of your neck. 

“Mornin’.” You whisper back, a sappy smile on your face until a sticky piece of pancake lands on your nose and falls down to your shirt. You grab a sausage link and send it flying directly into Nat’s hair. 

“Thanks! I forgot to grab some.” Nat smirks. 

“No problem. I know it’s the only bit of sausage you’ve gotten lately.” You sass at her. 

“Oooohhhhhh!” Sam yells while laughing. 

“Santi!” Wanda gives you a look but is obviously holding back laughter. 

“Sorry! Here’s some more for you though, Nat.” You toss a second piece at her and she catches it. “By the way, Sam, how’s the receptionist?” 

Sam purses his lips and just gives you a look.

“Damn, I am striking out this morning.” You laugh. 

“Yeah, you are.” Nat sticks her tongue out at you. 

“Didn’t strike out with me this morning.” Bucky whispers in your ear before being hit in the head with a sausage. You both look up and laugh as Steve gives a look. Damn super soldier hearing. 

“Okay, okay. Enough with the food fights or I’m gonna get a bag of flour out and fuck you all up!” You yell at the group. 

“I’m terrified.” Sam deadpans. 

“Next time I make you chocolate chip anything you're gonna have to wonder to yourself ‘are these really chocolate chips or chocolate laxatives?’” You glare at Sam. 

“I take it back.” Sam says quickly. 

You grin mischievously. 

Everyone is in the training room a little later. Most of the guys are working weights or punching bags. Vision is watching Wanda and Nat spar in the ring. You decide it’s a perfect day to pull out the silks. No one is using the open mats. With missions and life you had never gotten around to pulling them out to show Bucky as promised. You pull the aerial silks out of the locker and go over to the rarely used climbing rope at one end of the gym. Securing the silks around yourself, you climb the rope until you can pull yourself up to the beam it hangs from. Walking across the beams towards the anchor for the silks when you hear Bucky’s voice. 

“Santi! What the hell are you doing?”

“Attaching my silks.”

“What if you fall?” He yells.

“It’ll hurt.” you say sarcastically. It would hurt like a bitch but you'd heal.

Steve pipes up, “We have machinery to do that, Santi.”

“Takes too long.” You say as you attach the silks to the beam. 

“Santi!” Bucky yells.

“Seriously, guys, stop. This beam is 6 inches across that’s bigger than a freakin balance beam.” To prove your point you do a back handspring on the beam. “See, piece of cake.” Bucky looks like he's going to throw up for a second. You pull on the silks to test them and then gently slide off the beam. 

Bucky gasps and you look down at him from midair. You slide down to the floor to check on him. He looks like he swallowed a fly. “Hey. I’m fine. I know what I’m doing. Are you okay?” 

“Just don’t like heights much.” Bucky says. 

“I get it, but nothing is going to happen. I’ve done this for almost 50 years. God, that makes me sound so old.” You laugh. “Even if I fall, I’ll heal. Okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Bucky says.

“Look, if it’s gonna freak you out too much I won’t do this while you’re here.” You look into his eyes. 

“No, Doll. I’ve wanted to see you do it since you told me about it. I just didn’t think about you being so high up.”

You pull him in for a quick kiss and then get back to the silks. You show him some simple moves. Mostly using the silks to do climbs and wraps. Eventually you perform a wrap sequence that prepares you for a drop. Usually, this would be done as a surprise for the audience, but knowing Bucky’s anxiety you say to him, “I’m gonna do a drop. I’ll stop a few feet from the floor, okay?”

“Yeah, Doll.”

You drop down and hear him still gasp. You end up in an upside down stretch and smile at Bucky. He walks over and you’re basically face to face. “You know, you look pretty amazing wrapped up in red silk.” He whispers. 

“You two still playing house?” You hear from behind you. 

Maneuvering around and out of the wrap, you exclaim, “Tony!” You run over to him and give him a big hug. It’d been a couple of weeks since you had seen him. 

“Enjoying the silks?” Tony smirks.

“Well, I’m still waiting for you to get me some of Peter’s web shooters.” You nudge him.

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that.” Tony snarks. “Manchurian Candidate, can I get a minute?”

Bucky looks surprised, “Yeah.” They walk off together leaving you wondering what was going on. You look over at Steve who shrugs but is eyeing them also. 

Going back to the silks you do a few more tricks and start doing some swinging and twists. The silly fun stuff that you don’t get to do often. You jump down and take a running leap at the silks, twisting yourself up into them while sailing through the air. You feel pure joy bubbling up in you as you feel the air rush past you. 

“Hey, Mother Teresa, you enjoying yourself?” Tony’s voice breaks through. 

You look around to see everyone smiling and realized for a moment you had let go of your mental hold on emotions. “I’m so sorry! I was remembering performing and I just… I’m sorry, guys.” You say as you pull back and tamp down. 

“Nobody will ever need Prozac with you around.” Tony laughs as he turns to leave.

Bucky puts an arm around you and murmurs, “It’s okay, doll.”

“No, it’s not. I shouldn’t let myself lose control like that.” You say. 

“Nobody cares.” Bucky retorts.

“It’s still a violation. I forced something on them.”

Nat walks up, “Hey. It’s okay.”

“Thanks.” You say but you’re not able to meet her eyes. “I’m gonna put them away.” Bucky stops you before you walk away.

“Hey. You are allowed to feel happy.” Bucky says. 

“I’m not allowed to force it on others!” You nearly shout bringing everyone’s attention to you. You bury your face in your hands trying, unsuccessfully, not to cry. The next thing you know the entire team is surrounding you. Wanda puts an arm around your waist.

“It’s okay, Santi.” Steve says. “You had one unguarded moment in how long? Months? Years? It can happen to anyone.”

“Yeah, and at least it didn’t happen in the middle of one of you two’s marathons. Can you imagine everyone in the building reacting to that?” Sam grins at his own wit. 

Your face is still in your hands as you start to snort and then the laughter rolls out of you. You look up at the team that has become your family and laugh through the tears. No matter what they love and accept you. Even through the mistakes. You move to give Sam a hug and then Steve. 

“Okay, now, I want to see another drop because that was cool as hell, Saint. Let’s go!” Sam claps his hands. 

“Sure thing, Falcon.” You go back to the silks and perform a few more tricks for your friends before everyone goes back to finish their training. You decide to leave the silks up. You really should enjoy them more often. Afterwards you finish your circuit and head for a shower. When you come out of your bathroom you find Bucky sitting on your bed, freshly showered himself, elbows on his knees and a strange expression on his face. 

“Is everything okay? What did Tony want?” You ask. 

“Tony was just telling me about some nano technology he’s working on. He says he may be able to develop a kind of skin for my arm to make it look real if I’m interested.”

“Are you interested?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe. Would you like it?”

“I like you just as you are and however you want to be.” You say going over to him. You are only in a towel and fully expect him to pull it off of you when you get close, but he looks up at you and his eyes are a bit red. “Bucky, baby, what’s wrong?”

“Sit down, please.” He says.

“Okay.” You sit next to him and you both turn to face each other. A feeling of dread is welling up in you. “Are you upset about earlier?’

“No. I just need to ask you something.”

“Anything.”

“What happened to you?” He says.

“I just let go for a second. I was having fun and…”

“No.” He interrupts. “You are so worried about forcing something on someone. What happened to you?”

“A lot of things have happened to me, Bucky. I’m a fairly attractive woman. I’ve had plenty of unwanted attention and my power can only control what people feel, not what people do.” You say carefully, not quite meeting his eyes.

“First, you’re a damn beautiful woman.” He puts his hands to your cheeks and forces you to look him in the eyes. “Second, there’s more to it than that.”

“Bucky, I worked undercover. I’ve had to do a lot of things that I didn’t want to. I’ve had to hurt people, kill people to prove loyalties. Seduce people to keep myself alive. I’ve been beaten and tortured. All for the job. All to protect innocent people. It wasn’t easy. I don’t want anyone to ever feel like I didn’t give them a choice. I’ve had mine taken from me enough.” You put your hands over his on your cheeks and lean into his touch. Tears begin to roll down your face. “I know you understand that. It’s one of the reasons I feel safe with you.”

Bucky kisses the tears from your cheeks and then kisses your mouth. He leans into you, laying you back on the bed, and opens the towel wrapped around you. You reach for him eagerly, wanting to feel the security of his arms and his thrusts filling you to wipe away all the terrible memories. You push his sweatpants down desperate for him to enter you. He shuffles them down his thighs enough to free his cock. He thrusts into you with desperation. A deep need to feel each other and connect. You pull your knees up and grab onto him, reveling in the feeling. Your orgasm washes across you like a tidal wave as you whisper Bucky’s name over and over again. He shudders above you as he reaches his release. 

He rolls both of you to your side and you just lay looking at each other for a moment. 

Bucky takes a deep breath, “I love you.”

Your eyes widen in shock and joy. “I love you, too.”

This time his kiss is slow and sweet.

Part 6

[spirit-shroud]

what are some roles that have been largely changed for cityrune? since you said queen was an influencer now :]

hi ty for asking me im vibrating. havent gotten to talk about this au now for three years and now that chapter 2 is like real and this time i can like........draw occasionally and i have more understanding of nuance...... [grips table] [screams]

this isnt quite what you asked but heres what's everyone from chapter 1 has been Up To with a little bit of context (and under a read more bc it got LENGTHY):

kris - professional stay at home teen (they live w/ asgore n help run the flower shop sometimes. this decision was entirely bc i dont like toriel). was wrongly diagnosed w Sudden Soul Rejection when they were incredibly young and given an experimental transplanted soul as a replacement. it works for them fine, give or take having to see gaster once a month for checkups. but sometimes the soul makes them skittish n decides they're going to sit in front of the pc and play 30 consecutive hours of a certain simulation game and not even let them drown people in the pool. if it were entirely up to them, they'd be like. passing out on the sofa to documentaries about bigfoot. or practicing cool knife tricks to impress their friends at their next tabletop meetup

- EDITED IN: the soul is kind of their friend. they are wearing a hypothetical get along shirt. most of the time, they agree on actions and things to do. tends to refer to themself + their soul as we/us which originally was just something they did in their head but they kept slipping in speech/text n just became a Thing of how they talk. switches to 'I/Me' whenever smth is wrong.

- also edited in: they believe the soul they have is their original soul bc nobody has told them otherwise. whenever theyre like 'oh yeah we think about our soul n view it as a separate entity to us like. all the time. it likes to hurt if we make too many choices it doesn't seem to like and kind of forces us to be a toned down version of what we want to be but thats just how souls are haha' and everyone is like.... 'Hey Kris That's Really Not How It Is.' theyre like. 'huh. gonna ignore that for now' - this was going to be a plot point

toriel - head of H0MEWOR1D (H01)'s department of education; kind of lost her roots as a simple math teacher as she was pushed into a lot of power she didn't even really seek out. divorced asgore over some miscommunications in their relationship; also loosely as a result of grief from asriel's death

asgore - the same. runs a lil flower/gift shop. people come in more to talk with him than to buy flowers most of the time, though

asriel Flowey - he's back in flower form, thanks to the government an accident. causes a lot of technology glitches wherever he goes, and wants revenge. isn't sure how to go about it. asriel "died" around 8 years before the story takes place and kris still misses him and refuses to even THINK about even the IDEA of calling someone their sibling after what happened, just in case it somehow happens a second time

susie - more of the same really. she spends most of her time either at grillby's (she's sort of become his assistant n helps with opening/closing. it just happened) or getting into low-stakes trouble w/ kris

noelle - she's in the city's equivalent of college and shes so tired. shes So Abysmally Tired n got kinda pushed 2 follow in her mom's footsteps. she's rarely around anymore except through text or on monsters & mages (dnd) night. (however.........she will come back w/ a long break n hang out w everyone again)

berdly - tbh i didnt even consider berdly when i made the au initially. idk what he's doing. probably in a similar situation to noelle??? canonically got kicked out of the M&M group due to clashes w/ other players but lurks in their group chat to posts memes sometimes

didnt rly think of any other of kris' classmates (+ their families) after ch1 and probably will continue to not, until chs 3-5 come out and i gotta whip up roles and histories for like. a lotta guys all of a sudden. i also forgot about noelle's parents

sans - runs a convenience store that everyone kind of thinks is a front, but also it has really cheap snacks and the local teens make a point of stopping there after school. so essentially, more of the same papyrus - similar to ut. is a very polite and sweet boy but you'll know when he's coming

grillby - he's back. he runs a bar like back in ut but the cozy vibes and weird-for-a-bar hours keep attracting kids who need parents, so half of his menu is comprised of overly sweet mocktails. usually only frequented by monsters

QC - same as usual. has a "rivalry" with grillbz but, theyre besties and have a book club

mettaton - he's real and he's back. he's similar to how he is back in ut w/ his EX body. likes to hang out at grillby's and talk to unsuspecting fans. has a show for everything

napstablook - similar to how they are in ut. helps mtt with making music sometimes. doesn't leave the house too often, but spends a lot of time posting on undernet

undyne - unfortunately. more of the same. she is a cop in the monster district. i am also upset by this but couldn't think of anything better for her

alphys - a doctor studying under dr. gaster in the hopes she'll one day take over his research. she spends most of her time as a nurse with a bigger title, though, and blocks out the weirdness of her job with anime.

gaster - weird guy. H01's top soul researcher and resident House wannabe. trying to manufacture the ultimate soul that can be controlled with simple internal switches, but so far he's only had 1 (very limited) success with a certain human. monsters just melt, and darkners just sorta......get weird... he's onto Something, though.

ralsei - lonely boy with some very strange hobbies. popular on UnderNet for poetry, baking videos, and general cryptid vibe. is the DM for the monsters & mages group (also seems to think everything is actually very fine in H01 when it is very much not)

lancer - about the same. professional Round Boy. lives w/ rouxls full time. follows susie around like a lost puppy and calls himself her "underling."

rouxls - runs a hotel/casino kind of deal where the objective Bad Guys hang out, and usually ends up doing any of the spade king's paperwork.

spade king - mafia godfather. kind of a dick. don't play cards with him

seam - works with the spade king as his right hand cat more or less because they have for a lot of years and are in that 'sunk cost fallacy' zone. thinks of retiring to a quiet life in the monster section of town like, daily

jevil - used to work with the spade king, but got imprisoned for Crimes. got weird after The Accident (separate from asriel's accident)

temmies (all) - dont really get mentioned except offhandedly but they run the monster space station. so far, are the only monsters who have ever been to space.

as far as chapter 2 goes:

yeah i dont have much so far for characters. in the original version of the au i accidentally made darkners as a whole just kinda..... not great? like all sorts of weird organized crime ties n sort of going out of their way to be A Problem to the city (not even in like. a revolution way. in a working against them but with the same goals kinda way). with the whole context it worked At The Time, bc i just had the spade king to look to as a villain, and also in this au the darkners are just trying to survive a world that ultimately was not built for them (that humans think they own, and monsters sort of... seeing this and wondering what it'll mean for them whichever one wins), but w/ new info abt how the dark world works n more guys to work with i want to kind of. edit the vibe a bit. like yea darkners will ultimately do whatever it takes to take over H01, but maybe in a better way than like. idk. all this. it doesnt have to be peaceful or anything it just has to be more adaptable as we meet more kinds of darkners

however yeah i thought up 'queen as some sort of childless mommy blogger/influencer' and that completely revived all memory i had of this au. she should be on mtt's talkshow. also she sells collectible wine glasses w/ her likeness

spamton is another one of gaster's failed soul experiments, but he hasn't melted yet, and seems............fine? sort of. so he hasn't gotten decommissioned yet. he does want to give you malware tho. hot monster singles in your area n all that

im blanking on the rest of the guys but i hope any of this was comprehensible

[dangermousie]

Extraordinary You - final thoughts

Warning - this is longer than Trumpet Creeper’s Kyung’s hair.

Wow. Wow. I never thought a drama this high concept (aw, satiric high school romcom? How about a mindbending, parable-like take on religion and philosophy and free will and sense of self and existence after death instead) could ever ever stick the landing. After all, something like W Two Worlds did not (I loved W but the ending was not on par with the rest.) But it did, and it is that incredibly rare perfect drama in which I would change nothing. 

Honestly, the whole story could be viewed as a meditation of the meaning of existence, with the author standing in for your deity of choice; not a benevolent deity many religions picture, sure, sometimes actively malevolent against those that disobey - the drama plain text admits that the author punishes those like Haru that try to challenge the divine plan, but that is not that uncommon in a number of religions. 

And the end, with its giant no exit - just an endless circle of being in other stories or put away and dead entirely - comes across as surprisingly hopeful despite the bleakness because I think what EY told me (and I fully understand it is different for everyone) is that control and permanence and existence are all fleeting and illusory, sure. But then, all you can do is live enjoying your today to the utmost, and love and free will and self-knowledge as much as you can get of it, is the sole light in a bleak, cruel, irrational world and is worth everything. 

Haru and Dan Oh, the ultimate fighters, cannot escape the cursed reincarnation circle and the worlds of the stories; but what they can do is try to change it as much as they can and to never ever give up and fight for their self-determination and their right to be together; even if it is ultimately futile and ends in erasure every time, the meaning of their life, the worth of their life is in that love and in that fight. 

And I love that they take even the limitations imposed and persist through them - remember the whole question of whether the scenes and words repeat because it’s their own or the author’s? Dan Oh’s take was the incredible that it is not the author - that they remember it from story to story because that is what they really felt and wanted to express to each other but couldn’t. She has taken all the existential insanity and decided she is a person and her wants are her own and not the narrative’s.

But of course, the capricious deity punishes Haru and punishes Dan Oh by taking him away, by not letting them stay together until the last page (though that “1 year away” is largely illusory imo - I am pretty sure the bulk of that year was “skipped.”) The scene with the lights going out, and Haru and Dan Oh, clinging, knowing the end has come, and Haru telling her she was his beginning and end and to call him by his name (so it would be the last thing he hears) is - I am freaking crying at the keyboard now.

And her name is the last thing he says in this existence.

And he is gone and she is left trying to grab his floating name tag. 

The thing with the names though is very important in other than a purely romantic sense. Their names is the one unchanging thing from one world to the next; even when the author does not name them, they get the same names - give them to each other or themselves. Because the name is such a sense of basic self, basic identity. Look at the scene with the Squid Fairy and the Court Lady, which also pulled every last heartstring - names are brought up again.

But of course, their time together is all so brief because the world ends in a few minutes and we do not see them in the new story. I am glad they got this one happy memory to erase the previous horror but still - so little, so fragile, so gone. But Squid Fairy and Court Lady are on the opposite side of the spectrum from Haru and Dan Oh, who will fight and fight and fight forever, no matter the odds or the risks or the outcomes. These two have accepted these worlds and these controls and the limitations and believe it is futile to fight; but the tragedy is they cannot keep their zen fully - they still love and miss each other, they still care for others. 

Haru and Dan Oh have created their own meaning in the arbitrary, cruel, impermanent world and that meaning is each other; to seize the brief moments of happiness as they come and grab on to free will even if it is punished, even if they never know whether, once this world ends, they will get another world or another chance (but hey, that’s normal life too - nobody has a certainty about the after of death.) That is why they can continue on through sheer will, why Haru literally forced his way into the story, why they remember; they do not accept defeat. But Squid Fairy and Court Lady have tried to go to the other extreme of powerless acceptance and I can get that choice. 

You know what has just occurred to me - in addition to fate, divine and free will, the other thing this drama addresses the concept of soul mates. The concept of someone destined by the fate for you is one many people find very appealing. But this drama posits that the true soulmate is one you affirmatively choose yourself. Because the technical soulmates here are pairs that the author puts together like Kyung and Dan Oh, and it shows not just potential incompatibility but the fact that if you do not know the love is based on true free choice, it lacks appeal. But when it’s based on genuine connection and love, it can transcend deity and worlds and the end of them all. 

The ending is as hopeful as it gets in this bleak world - Haru and Dan Oh as extras and thus free to do their own thing in a benevolent enough world - college setting. When they find each other, and of course the names are again their talisman, it’ s amazing. (And they are allowed to be at least a little older though one of the horrors is that they will never really get a choice to grow old together or have a long life - many short ones is what they get. Not that everyone wants a silver wedding anniversary and 2.5 children, but the fact that they never get that choice is awful.)

But the dark underpinning never goes away either - they are still puppets of an uncaring, and sometimes actively malevolent, deity. And we do not see Kyung or Squid Fairy or Court Lady or Juda or Do Hwa - reminding us of the fact that the world ends and you may never be pulled out of the box again, be dead forever or inserted into an insane suffering set up or whatever. 

Now to get to the other characters and strands:

* It’s surprising how OK I ended up being with Kyung in light of my earlier feelings for him. He really did get better, the more liberated from the authorial straight jacket he’s become. He wasn’t perfect (he clearly had Haru’s notebook but did not give it to Dan Oh; either because Haru didn’t want him to or because he wanted to keep it, who knows) but he was miles from the old Kyung. His face as he saw the end coming will haunt me.

* I know some people were unhappy with the resolution of the Do Hwa - Juda - Nam Joo story but I loved it. Maybe Juda would have picked differently if she knew the happy ending was an illusion and all that faces them is a possible eternity of nothingness or a new storyline entirely, at the moment of “triumph.” But maybe not. Unlike her stage counterpart, it’s clear that the real Juda is practical to the marrow of her bones, not prone to throwing the world away for love, and also what she really thrives on is being needed, being the one who saves and defends and is the leader in the relationship. She was never going to have that with Do Hwa, despite his gentleness. But with oblivious to the narrative to the last page Nam Joo she can have that - she can have someone who loves and needs her more than she loves and needs them, she can defend him and lead and be the boss (when she gave him a money balancing allowance book and he meekly took it, it all made so much sense.) This said, her joke about dating the boys on alternate days wasn’t as much of a joke as it was supposed to be. I could see her being the boss, money maker, polyamorous girl pretty easily. It would have been cool.

* I am pretty sure Kyung’s stepbrother/half-brother was in love with him in Trumpet Creeper - the way he talked about him in TC, the way he wanted to stay by him until the end, explicitly comparing it to Dan Oh and Haru, screams silent love to me (which adds another level of horribleness to the reincarnation/memory wipe concept here and in reality - in some of these endless worlds, people who loved each other might end up being family, even.)

Anyway, this is now my n1 kdrama of all time.

[elsanna-shenanigans]

December Contest Submission #12: Candles and Blankets

words: ca. 4,500 setting: mAU, candle shop AU lemon: not really cw: (SPOILER) fire, depression

Have you ever fallen in love with the gorgeous fiber artist across the street but she’s a really kind person and you aren’t sure if she’s into you or just being courteous, so you invite her to a romantic candlelit dinner for your own birthday in the back of your own candle shop?

Hey there.

My name is Anna, and …my life? Is pretty crazy.

I guess you could say the stars aligned for Elsa and I to meet.

It was a Tuesday.

New moon, new beginnings.

The sky was brightening with the dawn as I twisted my key around in the tricky lock. I really needed to call a locksmith soon, but I wasn’t sure if my business insurance covered new locks. Fires and floods, come at me; but an inconvenient lock… I probably wasn’t so lucky.

After a minute I finally heard the heavy click as my ears also noticed the sound of a car pulling up behind me. The hair on the back of my neck prickled, but instead of turning right around, I cautiously used the glass store windows to take a peek.

My shoulders relaxed. A blonde woman my age was behind the wheel.

I pretended to struggle even more with my key until I heard her get out of her vehicle. Then, I spun around with a smile on my face too bright for the hour.

“Good morning!” I greeted her. As she stepped into view to pay the meter, I couldn’t help but raise my eyebrows. You would’ve done the same if the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen just parked in front of your candle shop at 6:30 AM in the middle of October.

“Hi,” she smiled gently. I’d never seen eyes such an icy blue give off so much warmth on a chilly fall morning. She glanced up at my sign, ‘Anna’s Awesome Aromas,’ and her smile brightened. “Oh! Do you sell candles here?”

A little confused how she parked right in front of a shop she didn’t know sold candles, but not one to judge, I answered, “Yes! I make them and sell them. In fact, I’m Anna herself.” I offered my hand out to shake.

She leaned forward to shake with a cold hand and then gestured across the street at the vacant shop building. “I’m here to look at the building for lease. Nice to meet you! My name is Elsa.”

“Elsa! Wow!” This woman was flawless right down to the name. “Wait, you’re looking into Kristoff’s old place? Sweet, what’s your business?”

“Oh,” she nervously reached a hand behind her neck. “I just make blankets.”

“Just? That’s amazing! Do you knit?” I wasn’t about to let this stranger downplay her talents.

“I, um, knit, crochet, quilt, design fleece patterns, and mess with a few other styles every once in a while.”

“Wow, so you can do everything! That is so cool, Elsa. Seriously.”

Her cheeks were turning magenta. “I still have a lot to learn. I’d love to see your candle shop!” She said, deflecting the attention from herself. “Maybe after the realtor and I do our walkthrough I could take a look inside?”

“Absolutely!” I nodded. “In fact, if you’re done around lunch time, come on in and I’ll share my lasagna with you in the back. I brought enough for a small army.”

The way she smiled at me, crinkling her eyes, before she turned and walked across the street had my insides feeling… cozy. Comfortable.

Safe.

——————————

That Christmas was the best I’d had in a long time. Elsa had set up her blanket shop in early November, and we became fast friends. I never ate another lunch alone - we alternated between her office and mine, always able to keep an eye on whichever shop was unattended across the street.

December was a busy sales month for us both, with lots of customers needing candles and blankets to warm themselves and their loved ones in the cold holiday season. For that reason, I cherished our lunches as the only time we had to get to know each other as new friends. We both worked long days keeping our shops running smoothly and churning out new products in our evenings, often late into the night.

Neither of us had any employees, even a business partner, let alone a life partner; so sharing lunch with a like-minded and equally hardworking woman was honestly life changing.

The week leading up to Christmas was so busy with last-minute-gift shoppers, we called off our lunches to keep our shops open every precious minute. In a stroke of luck, Christmas fell on a Sunday, so we both closed up shop for the whole weekend, giving ourselves a true holiday.

Naturally, we spent it together. After convincing her she wouldn’t be intruding, Elsa came over to my apartment on Christmas Eve and we relaxed all day with no talk of businesses. She spent the night on my couch and our Christmas Day was filled with lazy cooking and laughter.

She gifted me a beautiful tree skirt that she knit especially for me with stripes featuring all my favorite blankets she’d made. For Elsa, I made a candle with ten different layers, because she was always saying her favorite scent was my whole shop, with all my aromas melding together.

“I can’t believe we gave each other the same thing!” She had laughed.

“It’s perfect,” I was grinning wider than I had in years. “We’re perfect,” I wanted to add.

—————————————

It’s amazing how something as simple as having a friend can make time fly by. As winter melted into spring, both Elsa and I were entering our “off season,” as people no longer craved the warmth our products provided. Even so, the days didn’t drag on.

I still lunched with Elsa every day and we never ran out of things to talk about, from crazy customer stories, to new products we’ve tried to create, to old childhood memories. There was always more to learn about each other, even after I thought Elsa might know me better than I knew myself.

But then there was the concern: did she know me well enough to figure out I had an enormous, ever-growing crush on her? And did I know her well enough to figure out if she might feel the same?

That was my main source of anguish as the weather turned as warm as my three wick candles.

Every day I sat with Elsa as she ate her chicken caesar salads or Taco Bell (there was no in between), and I ate my peanut butter sandwiches, or Campbell’s soup. And every day I’d stare at her light shining hair and blushed cheeks, as she smiled sweetly and laughed at all my jokes with a sound more gorgeous than fucking wind chimes. And every day I could feel myself falling further.

I used to live and breathe for my candle shop; I woke up with a purpose to create new scents and gorgeous colors, experimenting with different types of wax. It was usually what I dreamed about.

Now… I was dreaming about Elsa. I was waking up excited, not about how many candles I might sell that day, but how many times I might make Elsa laugh during lunch. Will she flash me that look, the one where her eyes sparkle and the corner of her mouth smiles, making it look just for a second that she had glimpsed my soul - and liked what she saw?

I just didn’t know what to make of it, because Elsa was too nice. She seemed to interact with everyone the way she interacted with me. Granted, nobody else got to spend lunch with her everyday, or talk about our small businesses together, or drop by to visit on our rare days off. But how was I supposed to find out if she was romantically into me without risking everything good that had come into both of our lives?

It was June when I had the idea. My birthday was coming up the following month, so why not plan something special? Something …romantic? Then if there was anything to blossom between us, it would have the perfect environment to happen without forcing anything or asking potentially devastating questions.

Perfect!

It wasn’t hard to plan out once I had the idea. I chose the restaurant I’d be ordering out from, and easily convinced Elsa to come over to my shop after we both closed.

I was wearing my favorite green summer dress - the flowy one with pockets - and kept my hair down for a change. At the stroke of 7 I closed up and headed out to pick up the dinner and suddenly it hit me. Was it weird to plan and host my own birthday dinner? A birthday dinner for only me and the girl I was in love with?

Well, it was too fucking late, if so. I came back with the food and spent the next half hour setting up a table with nice place settings and lighting my sexiest scented candles all around my office and store. As the sun set, eight o’clock rolled around and Elsa closed up her shop, too.

As I watched her delicately make her way to my side of the street, I chewed my lip. Here goes… everything.

I came to my shop door to let her in as she approached my dimly lit building, and was stunned by how beautiful she looked. She was wearing a shiny blue sleeveless top and tight white capris, with heels to match her blouse and the kicker - a white bow tie hanging untied around her neck. Her wavy hair was gently bouncing around her shoulders with each step. I opened the door for her and the bell above jingled loudly.

She beamed when she saw me, stepping inside to set down her leather backpack purse and white gift bag to give me a big hug. “Happy birthday, Anna,” she said softly into my shoulder.

“Thanks, Els,” I squeezed back, breathing in her perfume. It was my favorite scent, one I’d never quite been able to replicate at home - something between the ocean breeze and a floral woodland meadow.

As we pulled apart I glanced down her outfit one more time, “You look incredible.”

“So do you! And well, you said to dress nice, so… that’s what I’ve got,” Elsa laughed nervously.

“It’s perfect. So!” I clapped my hands together, “Shall we head to the back?”

“After you, lovely,” Elsa grinned and picked up her two bags again. As we walked she began to notice the candlelit atmosphere. “This is really something, Anna. You went through all this trouble just for the two of us?”

I winced. This was a weird thing to do… Play it cool. “Oh, it wasn’t much trouble at all! I thought we deserved something nice. Something special.”

“We do! Especially you, Anna. You work so hard.”

“Not as hard as you,” I countered, as we stepped into my cozy office. My desk was in the corner by the window-wall facing out to the street, and in the front area by the couch we usually ate our lunches on, I had set up our small dining experience.

The only light was from all the candles I had placed around the room; a few were on the little table itself, which also held our take out dinner that I already plated up.

“Wow!” Elsa was standing wide-eyed behind me, a huge smile creeping onto her face. “This is — it’s incredible. Did you get Romeo’s?” She recognized the food from the local fancy Italian restaurant.

“Bone apple teeth!” I grinned. “Shall we eat, before it gets any colder?” I said, gesturing to a chair.

As we settled in to eat, my racing heart calmed a little. This felt right, it felt like us, sharing a meal like we did every day. Just… fancy.

“I’m thankful you got me Alfredo,” Elsa said a few minutes into our meal. “Or my white pants may never be the same.”

“Oh man!” I said with spaghetti hanging out my mouth, “That was a lucky guess. Imagine if I made you get tomato sauce on your pants!”

Elsa laughed. “I imagine I’ll be taking them off.”

“What?”

“Um, I said I imagine I would be taking them off. If I stained them.” A blush was forming on Elsa’s cheeks.

I felt my face warming too, wondering if Elsa had meant what she had first implied. Then, Elsa set her fork down and took a deep breath.

“No, you know what,” she said, looking me intensely in the eye. “You went out on a limb here with this dinner, and so will I. Anna, I really like you.”

Was I supposed to hear the blood rushing past my eardrums?

“Everything has been better since you came into my life - or since I came into yours, whichever way you want to think of it.” Elsa smiled sincerely, “I didn’t realize what was happening right away, but I’ve known for a while now that I’m just - just helplessly in love with you.” Her gaze shifted down to the table as she kept talking, “It’s hard to pretend that I can keep my cool around you when all I feel is the warmth of friendship, of …love. Of something deeper. Something I’ve never felt before, and I’d never want to feel with anyone who isn’t you.”

She cleared her throat and looked me in the eye once more, “So, if this dinner was your way of saying you might share some of those feelings for me too… first of all, at this point I fuckin hope it was; and secondly… that was it, I can’t remember…”

By the time Elsa had trailed off her words, I was next to her chair, cupping her face with my hands. “Can I kiss you?”

She touched one of my hands, holding it to her cheek as she stood up. Taking a step away from the table, Elsa slid her other hand behind my waist. There was a moment we just looked into each other’s eyes as the pull between us became stronger. “Please,” was all she whispered before our lips came together like the pages of a closing book.

I had never kissed anyone - I had… no idea it could be like this. Her lips were so soft as they moved with mine, and it felt like they were asking permission with each caress. A small tear escaped one of my closed eyes.

I felt so emotional as she ran her fingers through my hair, stroking my scalp. She - Elsa, she wanted me, too. She loved me, too. And I realized I hadn’t actually said that yet — I pulled away suddenly and watched her open her eyes in surprise.

“I love you, Elsa.”

She smiled in relief.

I rested my forehead against hers, standing on my tiptoes to reach. “I just wanted to make that clear.”

***

We did not finish our meal.

The folding chairs sat forgotten as I laid Elsa down on the nearby couch and straddled her hips as we both reached for clothes we no longer wished to wear. I took a second to be grateful for the partial wall that blocked the couch from the view of anyone passing by the shop’s windows.

Elsa tugged on one end of her bow tie and it slipped out from behind her neck in one fluid motion - probably the sexiest move I’ve ever seen.

As I lifted my dress above my head, Elsa was gazing up at me, hypnotized. I let the dress fall to the floor beside us. “You’re falling a bit behind, love.” All she had taken off was her tie, and I already sat in my under garments.

She reached for the bottom of her blouse. “One advantage to dresses I suppose,” Elsa said. “If you’re into that.” She sat up a little to whip the shirt off, exposing a black sports bra.

“God, how are you so hot?” I didn’t let Elsa answer before leaning down to kiss her again. I reverently felt her soft skin as I ran my palms over her sides and found the small of her back. “I’ve, er, never done this before.”

Elsa gave a slight squeeze to my hips. “Me neither. It’s ok. We can figure it out together, but I’m probably gonna need to take my pants off first.”

I laughed, “Alright, I’ll get up.” When I planted a foot on the floor and stood up, I paused. I took another breath through my nose. “What’s that smell…?”

Elsa looked at me. She sniffed the air. “Is something burning?”

I turned to the doorway leading into the hallway to the store. An orange glow far too bright made my heart drop and my stomach fill with dread.

“On second thought, keep your pants on.” I grabbed Elsa’s top, threw it at her, and grabbed my dress, pulling it on haphazardly. I ran to the doorway and stopped when I saw how big the fire was in my shop. It looked like everything was engulfed in flames. Nothing could be saved from there. Oh my god.

Pop!

Pop pop!

Candles on my shelves were exploding. Oh god oh god oh god.

“We gotta get outta here!” I slammed the office door shut to hold off the blazing heat of the main store’s fire, trapping us in my office. I ran to the wall of windows by my desk, grateful there was no second floor.

Elsa met me at the wall with her bags. “Can we send this through the windows?” She pointed at my filing cabinet.

Together we pushed the metal cabinet to the window wall and then heaved our combined body weight into it, sending it crashing through the panes. Shards of glass rained down on us, but only a few pieces were sharp enough to cut. The cabinet toppled over onto the pavement outside.

I pushed out a few extra pieces of glass to make way for us to squeeze through. After I got out I helped Elsa climb in her heels, over the filing cabinet out onto the sidewalk. Together we pulled it farther away from the building.

“You call 911 and stay back from here,” I yelled as I ran back to the broken glass. “I have to get a few more things.”

Elsa looked terrified as she pulled her phone out of her pocket and took more steps backward into the deserted street. Turning toward my shop, my hand shook as I reached forward, crouching through my broken window, back into my smoldering office.

The room was starting to fill with smoke and almost constant candle explosions could be heard through the wall. I decided the most important things to get out first were my computers. I grabbed my laptop and quickly unplugged everything from the desktop computer tower. I didn’t need the keyboard or monitor.

Stifling a cough, I crouched through the glass and carried the computers to the curb. As soon as they were down safely, I turned and ran back in.

I couldn’t help but cough this time. Soon the door holding back the inferno would bust - or maybe the shared wall would be engulfed first. Either way, I was running out of time. The air was so, so hot.

One of the candles across the room burst. A searing hot glass shard lodged itself in my arm, near my elbow. I screamed, brushing it away, and the scream turned quickly to more coughing and sputtering.

Through the attack on my lungs, I grabbed everything I could hold off my desk - my purse included, and made my way out as fast as I could.

As I climbed out onto the sidewalk, I felt the office door behind me blow out. In the split second I had, I hurled everything I was carrying as far out as I could and then threw myself to the side in an attempted barrel roll just as the fireball rolled out and licked at my heels.

I sputtered and coughed on the ground as Elsa sprinted over to me. She grabbed a flat piece of debris and swatted at the edge of my dress that had caught fire. Once it was out, she lifted me over her shoulder and took me over to her building where she had been taking the items I rescued from my office.

Setting me down gently, she kept my hand in hers. “They’re on their way.”

My coughing still wouldn’t let up but I couldn’t actually feel my aching lungs anymore, or even the searing gash in my arm, as I sat on the concrete, numbly watching my store go down in flames.

Watching everything I worked for burn away.

———————————————

I didn’t notice August.

They held me at the hospital for two days for the smoke inhalation, my burn wound, and other minor cuts. Then I was released and I sat in my apartment.

I didn’t have a job to go to. My work was gone.

The insurance claim was going to take 90-120 days to go through but they assured me I would be covered for the total loss. So I wouldn’t go into massive debt, but I still mourned. I had no business, no product, no motivation.

So I sat.

I threw out all the candles in my home.

Maybe it was anger, maybe it was guilt, but it most definitely was fear. I never wanted to see another candle again in my life. The destruction they caused - my own creations did this to me. My own negligence. My own lust.

I had also shut Elsa out.

I knew it wasn’t fair to her but I couldn’t even think about her without reliving the terror of the fire. I just couldn’t handle seeing her… so I said I needed space, I needed time to recover alone.

It’s been over a month though, and while the pain still hasn’t gone away, now loneliness has joined it in my torment.

I missed Elsa so much it hurt. And not even in the we-didn’t-even-get-to-have-sex way; I missed my friend.

A week into September, Elsa begged me to come to her apartment. She said she just needed to see I was ok, just needed to talk.

It wasn’t a hard decision with the way I felt like I was dying without her in my life. But I needed her to initiate it or my guilt never would’ve allowed me the opportunity. So I went.

I couldn’t bring myself to change out of the sweats I’d been wearing for at least a week, but I managed to put on deodorant. My hair was pulled into the cleanest messy bun I could muster. It would probably be the bags under my eyes that she would comment on first. The two main subjects of my dreams were now either nightmare fuel or guilt trips, so I had barely been sleeping.

The biggest surprise to me when I met her outside were the matching bags under Elsa’s eyes.

As I walked to her she met me halfway with a warm hug. I saw the look of mixed relief and concern on her face as she took in my appearance.

“Anna,” she whispered as she held me close.

I drew in a shaky breath. “Els,” my reply was like a reflex and I melted into her embrace. With a little sadness I noticed she wasn’t wearing her perfume, but everything else about the hug was all that I had been craving.

“Come on,” she led me into her apartment.

It wasn’t hard to tell I wasn’t doing ok, and neither was she for that matter, so the question was never brought up. Instead she made me tea and held me on the couch, murmuring soft things like, “I’ll keep you warm.”

When I was calm from the tea, Elsa went to get something from another room. She returned with the white gift bag from my birthday, though it might have been replaced with a new gift bag, given how pristine it still looked.

“I still want you to have this, Anna,” she said softly. “But first let me tell you about an idea I’ve had. I just want you to listen to it, no need to respond right away.”

I nodded.

She sat back down with me. Her voice never raised above a light trickling of a fountain as she spoke, “I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve been going through. But I do know what trauma feels like. So I have a clue about what you may be feeling toward what you used to do; what you used to love doing now feels painful. Maybe even terrifying…”

Elsa took my hand in hers. “I got this idea a couple weeks ago when I accidentally dropped my bottle of perfume into your gift bag.” She chuckled grimly. “It all spilled out and your present soaked it up.”

She reached down into the bag and turned her head to me, “Would you mind closing your eyes?”

I closed them.

With a soft whoosh, a thin, but nicely heavy blanket settled onto me. As I breathed through my nose, suddenly a wave of familiar comfort washed over me. Her perfume was scenting the whole blanket. I wanted to cry. “Elsa,” I whispered, my hands shaking.

She rubbed my leg through the fabric. “I know, sweetheart,” Elsa sat back into the couch, cuddled close to me and I kept my eyes closed as she continued to talk. “After that happened, I thought… nobody really does this. Creating scented oils just for the purpose of dripping onto fabric like blankets for an extra comforting experience. Like I know essential oils exist, but that’s just the beginning of the potential you would have if you, say… wanted to become my business partner, to create scent drops for my blankets…”

She trailed off and let that sit there with me to think about. I felt the same revelation she probably experienced coming up with the plan. “Elsa,” I said with my eyes still closed. “That’s brilliant. When I’m ready… I would love that.”

I felt her sigh with relief. “Can I see the blanket now?” I asked.

She sat upright, “Here let me hold it up for you to see. It might bring up some emotion. I swear I had no idea what was going to happen when I was making it…”

The blanket was lifted off of me. I slowly opened my eyes to see… a perfect image of my shop in all her glory, hand stitched and glowing softly yellow through the windows. Around the edges of the blanket were the words, “Anna’s Awesome Aromas,” repeated in a pattern. I sobbed.

“I’m sorry,” Elsa said, gathering up the blanket. “It’s too soon, I shouldn’t hav—“

“Stop,” I said while tears dripped down my face. “It’s perfect,” I stood up and flung myself into her arms, making the blanket fall to the floor at our feet.

“You’re not upset?” she asked.

“I’m only upset that I shut you out for so long. I’m sorry,” I held her tight. “You are everything I need, how could I not see that?”

“It’s ok,” Elsa kissed my forehead. “Some things aren’t meant to be seen; they have to be felt, or smelled, maybe tasted.”

With a gentle kiss, she began my healing.

[cupcakes4747]

Truth Or Dare | one

Word Count: 2K

Warnings: n/a

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader, Jungkook x Reader

Genre: fluff

Laptop. Check. Phone. Check. Supplies. Check. Keys. Where are the keys? You looked around for the keys, trying to quickly find them. After ten minutes of searching, you realized that they were in your hand the entire time. You groaned at yourself and quickly rushed out the door. You didn’t want to be late for your first day at university. You wanted everything to be perfect. Ever since you were in middle school, you have been dreaming of going to this college, and you couldn’t believe you had actually made it. You had all sorts or expectations for college you had been thinking about for years. Studying in aesthetic hipster cafes, getting your own apartment, partying with your friends, and most of all, getting a boyfriend. You were the only person you knew that has never had a boyfriend. All through middle and high school, all of your friends would get a new boyfriend every few months and you would always have to third wheel and watch them make out with each other. They would tell you stories about losing their virginity and how awesome sex was, while you on the other hand had never been asked out, or even kissed. You never understood why; you weren’t unattractive, and there was nothing wrong with your personality, but for some reason, it really hurt your self esteem. You thought that you were undesirable and repelling to boys. But now you were in college. You were older, smarter, and since your awkward phase was over, prettier. And there were a whole bunch of new guys who didn’t know who you were and this was your chance to prove to yourself that you weren’t as undesired as you thought. However, ever since you moved into your dorm three weeks ago, you’ve been having all sorts of bad luck. First, the moving van was two days late, so you had to live in your dorm for two days without any of your stuff. Then, you accidentally clogged the toilet and had to call a plumber who ended up doing a horrible job of fixing it. And then, a few days ago, when you went grocery shopping, you realized at the checkout line that you had forgotten your wallet. You didn’t want to be late for your first day of university on top of all that. You ran as fast as you could to the bus stop and as you checked the time after you sat in the bus, you gave a breath of relief. You were five minutes ahead of schedule.

Making it to class on time, you finally started to calm down. You watched as all the students piled into the lecture hall, looking for someone who seemed friendly enough to introduce yourself to later. Then you made eye contact with the most beautiful boy you have ever seen in your life. He had dark brown hair that fell over his eyes, a tall, muscular build, and that mysterious “bad-boy” look. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him. And just your luck, this attractive man happened to sit right next to you. Oh my god, what am I supposed to do? Do I talk to him, or...? Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard him say:

“Wow, I must be in heaven, because I am looking at an angel.” Is this guy flirting with me? You blushed. Nobody had ever flirted with you before. You didn’t know how to react so you just let out a nervous giggle, even though you later on realized that that was the dumbest pick up line ever. The class started and the cute boy kept making sarcastic and funny retorts to everything the professor would say. You found yourself giggling to everything he was saying and you weren’t sure if it was because you genuinely found it funny or just because you thought he was attractive. After class ended, you both formally introduced yourselves and the cute boy, who said his name was Jungkook, asked you if you wanted to go to a party that weekend. You had never been to an official party before; only small get-togethers with your close friends. Everything you knew about frat parties was from the over-exaggerated scenes in college movies.

“Sure, why not,” you said nonchalantly, as if partying was a regular part of your routine and that getting asked to go to a party by a hot guy was an everyday occurrence. 

“Great, see you in class tomorrow, Y/N,” Jungkook replied. You beamed as you speed walked out of the lecture hall. This was the most interaction you’ve had with a guy your age other than the weird nerdy kids on the math team back in high school.

When you arrived home, you dashed straight to your closet to figure out what you were going to wear to the party, completely ignoring your pending responsibilities as an adult. How did people dress at college parties? Should you wear something trendy? Something stylish and fashionable? Something cute and innocent? Something sexy? You had never thought of yourself as sexy, but as you were looking at your reflection in the full-length mirror, you realized that your body was not that bad. You worked out consistently and ate healthy, which made you look healthy. And plus, a sexy guy like Jungkook would probably be interested in a sexy girl. You didn’t own any sort of sexy dress, but you knew your roommate had plenty, but she was out somewhere so you couldn’t ask her then. You sighed and decided to get started on your homework.

The next day, you walked into your first class, excited to see Jungkook, but he was nowhere to be found. Disappointed, you sat down at your seat and listened to the professor.

“For our very first project of the school year, we will be doing a partner project where each assigned pair will be assigned a piece of classical literature and have a series of mini-assignments to complete about it,” your professor’s voice boomed across the large lecture hall, “It will be due a month from today.” You groaned internally. You hated partner projects. Either the other person would take control of everything and not let you have any input or say of what goes into the project or the other person would completely slack off and not do anything, leaving you to do all the work. The professor started calling out names of the assigned pairs from his list. Please let my partner be Jungkook, please let my partner be Jungkook. “Y/N and Namjoon, you two will be partners. Please raise your hands.” You raised your hand and looked around the lecture hall for another raised hand. A tall man walked up to you with his hand outstretched.

“Hi, I’m Namjoon, your partner.” You shook his hand and introduced yourself to him. He was almost an entire foot taller than you and could be quite handsome if he didn't dress so dorky. He was wearing a plaid sweater vest on top of a shirt and with pants that did not match at all. Along with that he was wearing a paper-bag brown hat which made him look like a journalist from the 1950s. You appreciated cute dorks since you considered yourself to be one. You both had decided to meet at the library later that day to get started on the project, both of you deciding that it was a bad idea to procrastinate and that it was smartest to start as soon as possible. 

Later, in the afternoon, you were walking to the library to meet Namjoon to get started on the project and heard footsteps running up to you.

"Hey, beautiful," Jungkook smirked after he caught up to you. Your heart fluttered.

"What are you doing here? Where were you in class today?" you questioned.

"Oh, I ditched. I was still hungover from a gathering at my friend's place last night. Did I miss anything important?"

"We started a project with assigned partners. I'm meeting him up at the library right now."

"Oh, boring. I'm glad I ditched." You rolled your eyes.

"Anyways, I need to go now. It was nice talking to you, Jungkook."

"Wait, are you still coming to the party on Friday?" Oh my gosh, he remembered! 

"Yes, text me the details, please." You told Jungkook your number as he typed it into his phone.

"Okay, cool. I'll let you know everything. Bring your hot friends." You rolled your eyes at him again.

"Yeah, sure. Bye." You didn't know how you were capable of keeping up a causal conversation with an insanely good-looking guy. Usually, when a good-looking guy would approach you, which they rarely did, you would just panic and freeze, and never be able to come up with anything interesting, witty, or funny to say, causing yourself to reply only with one-word answers, making yourself look unconfident. The problem was that you were kind of unconfident. Other people's opinions mattered way too much to you, causing you to revolve your life around how others will react. You knew it was unhealthy, but had no idea how to stop.

Lost in your thoughts, you had already made it to the library.

“Hey there!” Namjoon said. He had already found a table and was ready to go with his laptop open. “I already got a headstart on the assigment. I came up with multiple points of views to analyze this part of the text.”

“Wow, you are really on top of things,” you replied, impressed.

“I already read this back in high school for fun. Although it was a few years ago, I have a general idea about what happens.” And here you were thinking you were the only person of your age group who read classic literature just for fun, but decided against mentioning that you had also read it for fun in high school. Now that you were in a new location where nobody knew who you were, this was a second chance at a first impression. You did not want to be considered a nerd anymore.

You sat down and began reading and discussing the novel with him. Even though you just met him, you found that you really enjoyed working with him. Namjoon had a different perspective than you which made you see the novel in an entirely different way and vice versa. It was refreshing to have a deep conversation about a topic both people enjoy, as most exchanges you’ve had in the past year were just shallow small talk. As you both reflected and discussed, you had breezily finished the assignment in much less time than you anticipated. Perfect. More time to get ready for the party. 

“Nice work. We got done really fast. Maybe to speed up this project and get this over with, we can finish the next essay question tonight since it will be fresh in our memory,” stated Namjoon.

“Actually I’m going to a party tonight. Tomorrow maybe?” you said trying to hide the proudness in your voice. You never thought that you would be partying instead of doing homework since it was usually the reverse. You thought he would think that you were super cool and adventurous for partying in the first week of school, since it was something you would have never even contemplated doing in high school. Namjoon, however, seemed unfazed by this. 

“All right I’ll just submit mine tonight. You can do yours tomorrow. I’m happy to proofread your work before turning it in if you’d like.” A small part of you was disappointed that he didn’t seem to think anything of it and another small part of you was worried he would think you were irresponsible or a bad student when in reality that couldn’t be further from the truth. It was still nice of him to offer to help you when you knew he was probably busy with other things.

“Thank you, I appreciate it,” you said gratefully as you packed up your things, “When can you meet up next?” 

“How about Sunday evening?”

“Works for me.” You both bid your farewells and went your separate ways, eager to go to your first college party and see Jungkook.

[tracle0]

hello hey hi and a splendid saturday to you, I come bearing a question for the wip4 gang and that question is: what is each of their most significant memories? additionally, are there any memories they would jump at the chance to get rid of? ok bye please have an excellent day \o/ (and before you yell at me I'm going to sleep now I swear)

I’m glad that when you even LOOK at me you think ‘oh sleep time’ I am Pavlov and you are my dog and this metaphor is stupid I will answer your question now

I’m gonna... assume this is uhh pre-story question because I know for a fact that at least three characters would change their answer to at least one question if it was post-story. My house, my rules. 

Keaton’s most significant memory is p r o b a b l y the time when he was in year 12 (17), and he was called to the head of sixth form office. He’d been at this school since year 7 (11), and had realised he was trans in year 8 (12/13), and had then been fighting for the right to use his bathroom ever since. This had previously resulted in punishment. In year 10 (15), he made progress, being allowed to use the disabled bathroom, but he wanted the men's bathroom dammit. 

Anyway, called to head of sixth form, assumed it was related to that issue. Pessimistic about the whole ordeal. 

Turned out there was another student in like year 9 who had come out as trans as well, and the school had gone ‘UHHHHHHHHH LET’S DO BETTER THIS TIME’ so Keaton, being the only other trans student in this rural Norfolk school, was assigned as her... mentor??? I guess? 

He was half like ‘fuck y’all’ and half like ‘I will not let this young woman go through the same shit you all put me through, I will guard her like a HAWK’. He was still not allowed to use his bathroom, but he makes her fight a little easier; she’s allowed to use her bathroom in year 10, after he left. They still meet up every now and then for coffee. 

Memory to be rid of: First day on a Professional Set, he walked backwards whilst taking a tea order and fell into a bin. Terrible first impression. He still got jobs afterwards, but sometimes people will be like ‘oh yeah I’ve heard of you you’re the bin guy’ and he wants to punch them. 

This is getting long already I’m gonna put the rest under a cut

I know you’re here for Mika so I’ll go to them, most significant memory: probably his first pride? He didn’t intend to go to pride, but he was in the city on the day of pride and just walked past all these rainbows and flags and people being so open and proud and themselves. He was maybe fifteen, and had been having those fun Gender Feels that you try and hide at age fifteen, because you’re only fifteen and most people tell you you’re not old enough to know anything about yourself, yknow? 

Someone gave him a flyer at one point, and when he got back to his Ultra Christian Household, he hid it and would read through it some nights. When he had it memorised, he started to explore more about queerness online. He’s the guy who can tell you all about LGBT history due to this research. This was only done in the city on the library computers, where his trail couldn’t be tracked. It gave him some sort of start for labels, some sort of safe space, some sort of New Approach to everything he’d been feeling. 

Memory to be rid of: last day in Ultra Christian School. He was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school and it wasn’t awful until he was about fourteen, at which point he started to grow his hair. They told him to cut it constantly. He was punished for it. He kept the hair. 

It got bad but it wasn’t until he was about seventeen that it really buckled; first real notable psychotic episode. He told people, they were convinced it was some sort of possession, convinced he’d sinned, convinced of all these horrible things about him and drove him out until he could ‘act normally’ again. He did not go back. 

In all honesty, the second he turned 18, he took his savings from various dead grandparents and a part-time job, bought a second-hand (maybe third-hand) camper-van and left home. 

He goes back for Christmas only. 

Mooooving on, Lynne! Who I do not talk about enough; she’s also part of the documentary squad, and actually the reason the whole squad exists. Producer and director, she’s very cool okcoolthanks

Most significant memory: That one time she was thirteen and her parents had officially declared their divorce. She was living with her dad and it was really, really weird and she was not enjoying it. Divorce is a big deal to some families, and this family was one of them, and she was really unsure about her entire future. 

Cue Mika, young and mostly obedient, kicking down the door (not literally) and kidnapping her (again, not literally) to come pick blackberries with him (very literally). They stayed out until the sun went down in early Autumn. She forgot about the divorce for a small amount of time. They ended the day eating fish and chips straight from the paper whilst sitting in a tree and talking about nothing important at all. 

They made jam out of the blackberries the next day. It was gross. Both of them refused to admit it was gross. 

Memory to be rid of: She went camping one time with friends from school. Lynne is Muslim and so did not go to Catholic school with Mika, they just lived near each other, and so school friends went ‘hey we’re going camping you should come’ she did come. 

It was a mess. They were fifteen and determined to drink, and English peer pressure to drink is weird, so she did take some drink but didn’t drink it. Someone threw up on her tent and blamed it on her. No-one bought any food or water, the only thing she was able to drink was lemonade bought for mixing and that had ants in it within two hours. 

She woke up first and left them all there, then walked home because she was meant to be lift-sharing. It took an hour and a half. She preferred that to being in the car. 

That group wasn’t her only group of friends, but it was her main group, so things were awkward for a while. 

Moving on from Documentary Squad, Percival! Percy Percival who I wish I could call Percy because it’s so much easier to write. 

Significant memory: winning an art contest when he was like. Eleven. Really living the high-life, ol’ Percival. It was a city-wide contest, with various age categories. He was part of the 11-18 clump, which put him at a disadvantage, but he still won. As a reward, his art was replicated on a mural in one of the shopping malls in town, and he got some fancy vouchers for a fancy art shop in the city. 

Winning the art contest made him go ‘oh wait I’m actually good at this thing I really like doing I should learn how to do that more’ and you could barely pry him away from his sketchbook from that point on. 

Those vouchers were stored away until he was 14 and doing art GCSE, at which point he bought a nice sketchbook and oil paints. He’s now very good at oil painting. I hate him for being good at oil painting. Oil painting SUCKS. 

Memory to be rid of: I’m torn between three and they’re all similar so I’ll go for all of them. 

#1 - losing an eye to Abby’s experiments. You read the lil short story I think (I know I checked just now) - she’s a very kind and loving sister who sometimes moves his body parts around. One time, he lost an eye and went blind for a few weeks. He had nightmares about it for months. It was very painful.

#2 - losing a finger. To Abby’s experiments. It was the middle finger on his left hand and it didn’t go back into place quickly enough - now it’s always numb and discoloured. Good news is he’s right-handed and not a musician so no worries about losing dexterity on that hand. 

#3 - losing two ribs. To Abby’s experiments.  There’s a very clear trend here. She wanted to try moving things she couldn’t see around. She moved two ribs away. She decided it was more dangerous to put them back. Now they just have two of Percival’s ribs lying around. 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

On that note, final person, this is very long. Abby! She’s fun. Most significant memory;

okay the word ‘significant’ has caught me off-guard several times cause like wow how do you figure out significant memories for people. I don’t have just one, yknow? But I think I know one for her. 

She’s the eldest out of her and Percival and, for a while, people wanted her to set an example for him, which she tried to do, but she wasn’t good at what people wanted her to be good at. She’s good with people. She’s good at very specific parts of biology. She’s good at psychology. She’s not good at school and tests. 

So, when Percival started to beat the standards she set for him, her parents almost... egged competition on. Played favourites, compared the two siblings. Nobody really noticed what she could do, they only cared about what she struggled with. And the parents were rarely around to help out with what she was struggled with. So she struggled on and tried to keep her head high.

Cue a family wedding, she was snooping around the snack table at the reception and overheard her parents talking about her. And how they were almost disappointed in her. How they were annoyed that she couldn’t be more like Percival, honestly, what did they do wrong? 

She got bitter. She pretends she doesn’t care but she’s bitter, and with no parents around to lash out at, she lashes out at Percival, who isn’t even aware. Good times. Not good times. Significant times. 

Memory to be rid of: Honestly? Probably hearing her parents talking about her at the family wedding. It stings. 

A n y w a y this was extremely long I like going into detail with short stories, if you read this far then thank you I appreciate it I will give you a feather from my feather collection. Probably a swan feather. I have a lot of swan feathers. 

[layce2015]

Life is Strange 2 (Sean Diaz x Reader)

Chapter 2: Sean And Daniel

Chapter 1

Mount Rainier, Washington 

3 Days Later

I was walking down the quiet, deserted road, just minding my own business when I come up to an old sign:

Trout Spring Trail - Nisqually River viewpoint.

Oh, good. A place to sleep. I thought as I come up to an abandoned car. I walk over to it to look inside and see nothing really, except for a Choc-O-Crisp on the dashboard. Sweet! I mean, I still have a few bars left of this candy. But....you can never have too many! I thought as I dig in my pocket and pulled out and un-bent paperclip. I stick the paperclip into the keyhole of the car door and jiggle it for a few moments before it pops open. 

Score! I thought as I open the door and grab the candy. "Hell, yeah." I mutter when I heard some voices coming. "Are we there yet?" A young boy's voice asks. "Dude. Stop! You know what, you're not allowed to say that...Ever again!" An older male voice exclaims, annoyed. "Yesssss...Sir." The young voice replied, defeated. "You'll be the first one to know when we get there, okay? I'm tired and hungry too!" The older voice said.

I turn around as the footsteps get closer. "Listen...This looks like a perfect place to camp out...I bet we're not the first people to stay the night." The older voice said as it grew closer and closer. "It's creepy! There's nobody out here...We didn't even see any cars!" The young voice said. "We're gonna camp here. I'll look out for you." The older voice said just as two figures walk up and I could see that it was two boys, one looked really young (probably about eight or nine) and the other looked about the same age as me. Both of them looked like they were Hispanic descent.

"Oh! Uh....hi." the older boy greets, awkwardly, to me as I look between him and the little boy. "Uh..hi. Sorry...you guys just scared the crap outta me." I said, alittle nervously. "I just...wasn't expecting anyone out here."

"Yeah...neither were we." The older boy said to me, still a little awkward. I run my right hand over the back of my neck as I asked. "Soooo....what are you two doing out here?"

"We're on a camping trip!" The little boy exclaims, excitedly. "Oh, really?" I said with intrigued. "By yourselves?" I asked him. "Yeah, but we're supposed to meet our dad later." The boy said and I happened to look over at the older boy and I could tell that he was hiding something. "Really? Well that's cool." I said as I look back over at the young boy.

"What about you? You seemed to be alone." The older boy pointed out and I chuckle. "Yeah....I am. It's just rarely do I see other kids out here alone. Usually they're with an adult." I said. "What about your parents? Aren't they worried?" The little boy asked me. "I..uh...don't have any parents. They gave me up for adoption. I've basically been on my own for awhile." I replied as I cross my arms. "Oh...I'm sorry." The older boy said and I wave my hand, vaguely, at him. "It's okay. People have tried to put me in foster care, but I always leave....I don't belong to those families. I'd rather go at it alone." I said.

"So...you're like a runaway, then." The older boy said and I smiled. "Yeah....I guess you could call me that." I said with a laugh. "How long have you guys been on your trip?" I asked them. "About two days." The older boy said. "Oh...so, you're just pups when it comes to this sort've thing." I chuckled as the older boy replies. "We're learning."

"Well, like he said, munchkin, this place is a good place to camp out. It's quiet, calm and beautiful and as long as you don't bother the wilderness, you should be good." I said to the younger boy as I gesture towards the older boy. "Uh...thanks for the advice..uh..." the older boy stuttered and I smirk. "(Y/n). My name is (y/n)." I introduced. "I'm Sean. And this is my little brother, Daniel." Sean introduced. "Well, nice to meet you, Sean and Daniel." I said as I do a little bow at them, but I began to wander why those names sounded familiar. I feel like I should know but I can't remember.

I hear Daniel giggle a bit as I stand up straight then got an idea. "Hey, you seem a little hungry. I might have something in here...." I said as I pull my backpack off then dig inside it. "Ah, here they are." I said as I pull out a bar of Choc-O-Crisp. "A Choc-O-Crisp! No way! I haven't had one in like...a million years!" Daniel exclaims, excitedly, and I chuckle. "More like two days ago!" Sean said to him. "Well that's too long for you to go without one. Here, it's all yours, munchkin." I said as I hand the candy to him. "Wow! Really?! Thank you!" He exclaims with happiness and I smile at him. "No problem." I said as I put my backpack on.

"You better watch out, you just became his favorite person now." Sean said to me and I laugh. "Hey, I don't mind. He looked alittle hungry anyway." I said as Daniel opens up the wrapper and begins to eat it, like a starving man. "Wow, and I thought I was the addict when it comes to Choc-O-Crisp!" I said as he munched down on that candy. "Are you kidding?! He could wipe out an entire bag of those things!" Sean said and I look over at Daniel, impressed. "Wow, kiddo. That's impressive." I said as Daniel looks up at me and smiles.

"Well, I guess I better leave you two to your trip." I said to them. "Aww, you're leaving?" Daniel asked. "Yeah, I don't want to impose on a camping trip between two brothers. I'll just...be on my way." I said as I start to walk away. "Wait! Sean, she could come with us." Daniel said as I turn to face the brothers. "Hey, wait! You could...uh..stick around. We could use an expert's help." Sean said and I look over at him. "You sure?" I asked. "Yeah, plus it would be cool to have someone new to talk to." Sean said and I smiled. Normally, people don't want me around but these two do. "Okay...cool. Well then, I guess I'm joining your party then." I said, smiling, as Daniel shouts for joy.

I chuckled at this as we began to walk over to a tree with some marks on it. "What is that? Graffiti?" Daniel asked Sean and I as he points at the tree. "Not exactly...It's called a Trail Blaze and people used to put them up to give directions..." Sean replied to him and Daniel looks over at him. "Like GPS?" He asked. "Yeah...Just slightly more ancient." I replied. "Awesome! Let's follow it!" Daniel exclaimed and we start to walk into the forest.

"Come on, boys...The sun is going down..." I said as we started to come up to an old port house. "Okay, dude. Do you have to use the bathroom?" Sean asked as he points at the old shed. "No! It smells real bad..." Daniel said as he looks at the building at disgust. "No shit. Seriously? You better go now." Sean tells him. "I don't have to go! Jeez! Can't I just pee on a tree?" Daniel asked his brother. "As long as you don't mind the poison ivy on your balls!" Sean said to him.

"Uhhhh....Well...Maybe I'll go...But don't let me get stuck in there!" Daniel said to us. "Don't worry, we'll call the forest plumbers if you fall in." Sean said as Daniel gets inside the port-o-potty and started to use the toilet. "Yuck...This is disgusting! So gross! These are worse than the ones at school!" He exclaims, few minutes later, as he starts to walk out it. "Especially after you use it..." Sean teased and I chuckled at this. "You two are a mess." I muttered with a smile.

"Sean...(y/n)....Look how big these trees are..." Daniel pointed out as we walk deeper into the woods. "That's only because they need the sun. Besides, they'll protect us from the rain." I said to him. "What if they don't? What if they...a...attack us?" Daniel asked me, nervously.

"Aren't you Mr. Minecraft? I thought you loved the forest? I watched you build giant cities out of logs!" Sean said to him. "I did! I built the biggest cities ever! Ooo...I can use my axe to chop up some wood! Then we can build a secret base!" Daniel exclaims in excitement. "Well...Sounds like you're ready for the woods! Lead the way!" I laughed as Daniel runs ahead.

"Where are we going?" Daniel asked as we approached a direction sign that showed one way was towards the picnic are where the other leads to the river. "Hmm...The river must be a bit further..." I said as I look over the sign. "Yeah...Let's take a look around." Sean said and we reach an area where the path branches out, trees were scattered about and to the left was a picnic area.

"Wow...That place is huge!" Daniel said in awe. "Yeah, it's kinda cool." Sean said. "Yeah, this place is pretty epic." I said while Daniel walks up to some berries. "Hey guys! I found berries! Can I taste one, please?" He asked as he gets in front of the bush. "Hold on, munchkin. Let's check those out first." I said as Sean and I walked over to the bush. I check the berries, by tasting them, then nodded. "They're okay. Go ahead." I said and the boys begin to eat some. Daniel even tries to throw the last one into his mouth but he misses.

The path we take branches off to a small picnic area with some benches and a noticeboard. I run up to the board and read the wild animals poster. "Picnic and Hiking Site..." I read then look around just as Daniel walks up to me but Sean goes over to a bench and sits down as he looks out towards the river. "Well, I bet nobody comes out here to picnic anymore...and that's good for us..." I told Daniel as he looks up at the poster.

"No camping? Uh oh..." he said with worry. "Don't worry. Nobody is going to find us out here." I assured him while he continued to read the poster. "Do not feed...or disturb the animals? What...What kind of animals? Like bears...or coyotes...or..." Daniel said as he looks around, nervously. "More like...squirrels...rabbits...critters... like I said earlier...don't bug them and they won't bug us...They're way more scared of us than we are of them." I said as I place a hand on his shoulder, assuredly. "Unless they're angry...or hungry..." he said with worry. "Don't freak yourself out, munchkin. Everything will be fine. If anything, your brother and I will protect you." I said as I patted his shoulder and he smiles at me before he goes over to his brother.

"Whoaaaaaa..." Daniel said as he comes up behind his brother and sits next to him. I walk up next to the bench and look out at the river. "Look at that..." Daniel said. "Yeah..." Sean mutters. "So cool!" Daniel exclaims in excitment. "Never seen you get so jacked up over a nice view before..." Sean said to Daniel. "So? I've never seen anything like this! Never ever!" Daniel replied as he shakes his head. 

"Never ever?!" I asked him. "No." Daniel replied and I smile. "Don't worry, Daniel. You'll be seeing more views like this when you're out on the road, trust me." I said as I sit down on the edge of the bench and Sean chuckles. "Yeah...I remember when... Dad..." he stops as he looks down at the ground and I frown at this.

"I wish Dad was here with us..." Daniel said, sadly. "Well... Thanks! Not cool enough anymore?" Sean asked him. "Yes, you're super cool...But...I just wish the family was together... at home...It'd be cool to watch a movie and get a pizza and eat ice cream." Daniel replied to him. "Oh, you're making me hungry." I groaned as I rubbed my stomach. "Yeah, dude...stop. Besides, I told you we have to keep going...We'll see Dad later...Right now it's just...you, me and (y/n)...Okay?" Sean said to him.

"Yeah! It's our park! We can do whatever we want!" Daniel exclaimed, excitedly. "That's right...So...we better go build a secret base...so we can hide out for the night...Are you ready?" I asked Daniel and he nods. "Yes! I can build anything! We just have to find some cool blocks around here...and be careful of Creepers..." he said and I laugh as Sean starts to get up and Daniel cups his mouth and shouts. "HELLOOOOOOOOOO DOWN THERE!"

I get up and walk over to Sean and look at him with concern. "Hey, you okay, Sean?" I asked him. "Huh? Oh uh....yeah. I'm fine." He replied. "You sure? You just seem...kinda...out of it." I said. "I'm fine. I promise." He replied. "Look, I know we just met and all but....if there's anything that's on your mind, I'm a good listener." I said as we walked out onto a big open section.

"Ooooo, Sean! (Y/n)! Let's play hide and seek!" Daniel exclaims as he runs over to us. "Betcha can't find me!" He said and I laugh then I look over at Sean. "Looks like your little brother challenged us." I said and he smiles as he rolls his eyes. "Yeah. Okay. We'll give you ten seconds to find a hiding spot and then you're toast!" Sean said to Daniel as he winks at him. "Turn around so I can hide. And don't look!" He said and Sean and I start to count on the spot, without covering our eyes. 

"One..."

"Come on! You guys are cheating..." Daniel exclaims and I roll my eyes as Sean and I turn around and cover our eyes. "No peeking!" Daniel said, warningly, and we began to count again. "One...Two...Three...Four...Five...Six. Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten!" We said and we turn around to see no Daniel in sight. "Hmmm....you go this way and I'll go this way." Sean said to me and I nod at him and he goes to the right side of the forest and I go left.

It was a few minutes and we still haven't found Daniel, and I could tell Sean was alittle bothered by it. "Daniel!" He calls out as we look around. "Daniel!" Both of us exclaim then I got an idea. "Well...looks like I'm gonna be enjoying these Choc-O-Crisp all by myself." I called out and I swore I heard a noise in front of us. 

Sean and I look towards the noise then I nod at him and he comes up to this large tree. I follow him and we see Daniel hiding behind a tree, his hands covering his face. We slowly come up behind him then we shout. "There you are!" And he jumps back in fright. "Aww, no fair! You guys were peeking!" He said. "Not when we could see your foot a mile away, dude! We win!" Sean said as I chuckle. "Whatever..." Daniel grumbles and we continue down the trail.

Eventually, we come across a raccoon sitting on a rock just off the trail. "Daniel! Come check this out!" Sean said as he points out the raccoon. "What? What?" Daniel asked, gleefully. "Be quiet...He'll take off." I said to him as he comes over to us. "Ooo...Raccoon! He's sooo cute!" Daniel said. "Hah. That raccoon will tear us apart. Let's go, bro." Sean said while Daniel has a face of disbelief and walks forward, but the raccoon scurries away.

"Here, kitty kitty! Aww, that raccoon must be starving..." Daniel said as he starts to walk along the edge of the path, looking for the raccoon. "Raccoons are way smarter than us...He'll find more food!" I said to him and we began to walk some more.

"Hey! There's another one here!" Daniel exclaims as he points at the trail blaze then I follow the trail. "Hey! I think this path leads to the river." I said to them. "Coming!" They said and we keep walking until we reach a fallen tree, even on the ground, it goes almost up to Daniel's shoulders. "Wow. That's one big tree!" Daniel said as Sean and I climb over it. "Come on. I'll help you climb up." Sean said as he places his hands under Daniel's arms. "You better not let me go!" Daniel said to him. "Would I do that to my little brother?" Sean asked as he picks him and helps Daniel over the tree trunk and sets him down next to me.

"Let's go!" Sean said as Daniel runs off and said. "We have to watch out for skeletons, and zombies!" I look over at Sean and said. "It's really cute how you help out your brother." Sean looks over at me in slight shock and I notice his face turned red. I wink at him then I continue forward until I hear a bird chirping and I see a bird's nest up in the tree.

"Hey! Daniel! You hear that?" I asked him as he runs over to me. "Is that a bird's nest?" He asked me. "Oh yeah. They're everywhere out here." I replied to him. "At least they have a home..." Daniel said in a sad tone. I frown at him as Sean said. "Come on...We're too big for a nest."

Sean, Daniel and I reach a ledge as tall as Sean and I, but he and I jump down. "Mmm, this is pretty high up..." Daniel said with worry. But Sean holds Daniel up and helps him to the ground. "Come on! I got you!" He said to Daniel as he sets him down on the ground. "Whew...Thanks!" Daniel said then they high-five each other. I smile at this as we continue onwards.

"Uuuuhh...You guys see that?" Daniel asked as he points out some weird mushrooms on a tree. "Looks like a Clicker...Creepy..." Daniel said then Sean makes a weird clicking noise from this video game I remember watching a playthrough of on the internet a few years ago. "Stop it!" Daniel laughed as he starts to run ahead. Sean and I continue down the path but as we turn around the corner, Daniel was nowhere to be found.

"Uh...Sean? Where's Daniel?" I asked and he starts to look around. "Daniel?" Sean calls out but nothing. "Daniel?!" I call out, again nothing. "C'mom, dude! This isn't funny!" Sean said as we start to come upon a tree. "Muhhhwaaahh! I got you!" Daniel exclaims after he pops out behind the tree, scaring Sean and I as we jumped back but I accidentally stumble into Sean's arms. He and I look at each other for a moment as Daniel laughs. "You got me, munchkin." I said, laughing, as I stand up. "Dude...You struck out. That did not scare me..." Sean said to his brother.

"Liar! Liar! I saw your face!" Daniel said, in a laughing tone. "That was...uh...surprise. Maybe you scared me for like...one second..." Sean said as he starts to walk ahead. "Ha! I got you, I eat you! Don't mess with the zombie!" Daniel said, smiling. "Well, I'd rather be bitten by a cute zombie than an ugly one." I said as I ruffle Daniel's hair, who looks up at me and smiles. "Oh God, he got to you too!" Sean grumbles but I could see he had a slight smile and I laugh at this. "Hey, didn't you know? Cute kids are great chick magnets!" I teased and Sean rolls his eyes as he continues on, Daniel and I follow him.

Finally, we reach the riverside where there's a large beach area and a rock formation, which was jutting out, offering shelter. "Ooo...Looks like a cave...Kind...Kind of spooky..." Daniel said, nervously, as we come upon the formation. "No. Actually...it's kind of perfect." I said as I look it over. "For what?" Daniel asked me. "For us, man." Sean replied.

"We're gonna stay in there?" Daniel asked as I looks at it, questionable. "I dunno..." he mutters. "Come on, Daniel." Sean said, exasperated, then he turns to me for help. "Look, this can be...our secret base!" I said to him as I place a hand on his shoulder. "Hmmmmmm. We...could fight off any Skeletons or Creepers with some good traps!" He said and Sean and I smile down at him

"Cool!" I said. "In that case, we definitely need to get a fire going first. Right?" Sean said and Daniel nodded. "Right! Yes! Uh...So what do we need?" Daniel asked. "Um...You know...Shit to make a fire." Sean said. "Twigs, branches, paper, if there's any around..." I added. "Are...you sure we can do this?" Daniel asked us. "Who can stop us?" Sean asked him and Daniel smiles. "Nobody!" Daniel said and he takes a step and looks back, Sean nods at him and then Daniel runs off towards the beach.

"Okay...Let's unpack." I said to Sean as we set our backpack down. "Finally." Sean mutters as both of us take out our blankets from our bags. Sean lays his blanket on the ground under the cave and I lay mine on the other side of the small firepit, across from Sean's blanket.

Next, Sean takes out a newspaper clipping and looks at in disbelief. "What's that?" I asked him, after I walk up behind him, and he looks up at me in shock. "Uh...uh..well...." he stammers but I could clearly read the headline on the paper and my eyes widen. Now I know why their names sounded familiar.

Shooting in South Seattle

"Sooo....you're the Diaz brothers." I said and Sean looks at me in fear. "Yeah, I know about it. I passed by that area about a couple of days ago, sometime in the evening, and people were talking about it. I even saw it on the news the next morning when I went and ate breakfast. " I informed him and he looks down. "You're not going to say anything to him, are you?" Sean asked me and I give him a quizzical look then I realized what he was referring to.

"Does Daniel not know?!" I asked him. Before Sean could say anything, Daniel shouts. "Guys, check it out! I already got one branch for the fire!" We jumped and look out to see him picking up the branches. Sean crumples the newspaper clipping up and puts it in the fire-pit as kindling.

"Coming!" Sean shouts then he turns to me and grabs my arm. "Please don't tell him." He pleads. "Sean, I promise I won't tell him. I understand where you're coming from but....you need to tell him." I whispered. "I know, I know. It's just...I'm trying to find the right time." Sean said to me and I nod at him. "Yeah, I understand. That kind've stuff is hard. But I do want to say, I am sorry about your dad, Sean. I...I couldn't imagine going through that and..." I stop then sigh at this before I continued. "I know I'm basically a stranger to you and your brother but if you feel like talking just come to me." I said and Sean nods as he let's go of my arm. "Thanks, (y/n)." He said then he covers the pit with logs and dirt. "No problem." I said.

"Hey, guys. Let's have a race! Whoever finds three logs is the winner, cool?" Daniel asked us as we walked over to him. "Okay. You're brave to challenge me...So let's do it!" Sean said and I smile at them. "No way you boys are gonna beat me." I said, jokingly. "Nu-uh!" Daniel exclaims and he begins to run around the beach and Sean and I laugh as we spread out to find some logs.

By the time I find three logs and started to head towards the cave, I hear Daniel shout. "I win! It's over, guys!" Sean and I reach the campsite and check the pile. "All right, how much you got?" Sean asked him. "It's all there!" Daniel exclaims. "Yeah, okay...That should be enough for the night." I said as we set down our wood pile and we look it over. "Ha ha! See? Told you! I won." Daniel exclaims.

"All right. We have a little time to explore before we light up the fire." Sean said to him, smiling. "Cool! I'll go check the river!" Daniel said and he runs off. "Man, this place is like our own giant camp! We should catch some fish for dinner!" Daniel exclaims and I smile. 

As Sean makes the fire-pit, I walk over to the river and see Daniel trying to stab at fish with a long stick. "Gotcha! No I don't..." he mutters. "What are you doing, mountain boy?" I asked him as I walk next to him. "I'm gonna catch a fish to cook!" He replied to me. "Nice! But we should wait until we get some gear or something..." I said to him. "I can do it! Just watch..." Daniel said to me. "I know....we'll come back later." I said. "You promise?" He asked me and I smiled. "Promise." I said as I nod and he smiles at me.

He walks away from that section of the water and walked down stream. I smiled as I turn around and see Sean sitting on a log. He had a notebook and pen out and I couldn't tell if he was writing or drawing. I walk over to him and asked. "Whatcha' doin'?" He jumps in shock then looks up at me. "Whoa! Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." I said as I hold my hands up then I was able to see that he was indeed drawing.

"Whatcha' drawing there?" I asked him. "Oh...uh...nothing r-really..." he replied and I raise an eyebrow at him. "Really? It looks like something." I said. "It's just...sometimes I just like to sit and draw things." Sean replied to me. "Can I see it?" I asked as he looks at me. "I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to...." I said. "No, no...it's okay. I'm just alittle conscious about it." Sean said and he hands me his notebook and I take it in my hands and look at the drawing of the river and trees but I also noticed that he drew Daniel and I near the river.

"Wow, Sean, this is good. Like really good." I said as I go and sit down next to him. "Really? You think so?" He asked me, sounding shocked that I complimented him. "Way better than me. I can only draw stick figures." I said and he and I laugh at this. "You've got talent." I said as I hand him the notebook. "Thanks." He said as he takes the notebook and puts it away. I look over and see Daniel throwing a rock into the river, which lands with a thump.

"He shoots, he...Oh...Sorry, Mr. Fish!" Daniel said and Sean gets up and walks over to him. "Watch me!" Daniel said and he throws another rock, but it falls straight into the river. I chuckle as I walk over to them as Sean says. "Dude, come on...That's a boulder, not a rock! Here, you need a flat rock..." Sean said as he picks up a flat rock. "Hold it like this...Look at my hand..." he tells Daniel as he holds his hand then he flicks it and the rock skips across the surface of the water. "Boom!" He said. "Okay, I get it! My turn!" Daniel said as he picks up a flat rock.

"Hold it with your thumb and finger...and...spin your wrist when you throw..." Sean said as he demonstrates to Daniel. Daniel copies him then has another go, but he is no better. "Almost... What'd I do wrong?" Daniel asked. "Not bad! Give it another try." Sean encouraged him. Daniel throws again, but there's no improvement. "Aw... So close..." Daniel said, defeated. "Try again, Daniel. You've almost got it..." I said to him. "She's right, enano. You're getting into the zone. Don't give up now!" Sean said and Daniel throws again....and it skips over the water several times.

"I did it! I did it! Did you guys see?" Daniel exclaims, excitedly. "Oh yeah...That was awesome!" Sean said as they high-five and fist bump. "I think you're ready for the Olympic Stone Skipping Team!" I said as Daniel and I high-five each other.

A few minutes later we head back to the cave and Sean crouches down then gets his lighter ready when Daniel calls out to us. "Check this out, guys! Whoa! Nice view...You can see so far..." he said as we look up and see Daniel sitting on the rock ledge. "Wait, we're coming!" Sean said and we walk up and Sean sits on Daniel's left side and I sit on Daniel's right side.

"It's...beautiful!" Daniel whispers. "Pretty amazing, huh?" I said and Daniel smiles. "See? It's not so bad here in the forest..." Sean said to him then the three of us lay on our backs, staring at the clouds. "Hey. Look at those clouds. What do they look like to you?" Sean asked us. "I don't know...Cotton candy?" Daniel said, questionable. "That's it? Cotton candy?" Sean said, shocked. "I dunno...What do you see?" Daniel asked him.

"A dragon!" Sean replied. "What? Where??" Daniel asked. "Okay. There's the tail...and the horns...and the fangs! And the smoke coming out of its mouth!" Sean said as he points towards the sky. "Oh, I see it! It's awesome!" Daniel said. "And I see a castle. Looks like the dragon is going to attack it." I said and Daniel smiles. "Wouldn't it be cool if we had a pet dragon?" He asked. "Yeah, it would be faster to travel than on foot." I said. "I hear that." Sean said and I smile.

Then I started to feel something. Something I've never felt before as I lay here, watching the clouds with these two brothers. As I watch them look up at the clouds, I began to wonder....is this what I was looking for? Are these two the answer to my question of where do I belong? Have I already found what I'm looking for? I mean, I just met these two but...I've never connected with people so quickly like I have with these two. Maybe I could hang around them alittle longer and see where this goes. I thought.

"Ooo...I see something else! There's a giant douchebag!" Daniel said. "Oh yeah? Where?" Sean and I asked. Daniel points up at the sky, then lowers his arm to point at Sean. "Right here." He replied and I began to laugh. "Right here, huh?" Sean said as he playfully nudges Daniel's arm away. We laid there for a few minutes and watch the clouds go by until Sean sits up. "C'mon. Let's go eat something." He said. "You read my mind." I said as I sit up and we walk down the formation and enter inside the cave.

"All right, enano. We're cave people now. Time...to make fire." Sean said to Daniel. "Okay...Can I help?" Daniel asked him. "You have a big mouth like me, so come on! Blow!" Sean said and Daniel smiles. "Yes!" He exclaims then he gives a large puff that blows smolder everywhere. "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I said as Sean exclaimed. "Dude, don't blow it out!"

"Sorry, sorry...I wanted to do it like a movie..." Daniel said, apologetically, then he gives a softer puff. "Nice. It's warming up..." I said and we began to pull out the food from our backpacks and began to eat.

Chapter 3

[somerpmemes]

Wizards of Waverly Place S2 Starters

Change as needed

“Watch it, I own sarcasm and don’t give you permission to use it.”

“Knowing stuff is so cool.”

“Panic and run, it’s never not worked.”

“There are no losers, just winners and the people who aren’t them.”

“When in doubt, dance out.”

“I’m not sure what I saw, but I saw that!”

“We should really shut this when we’re talking about people and they’re sitting right there.”

“Not seeing things coming is the rollercoaster of love, and I’m strapped in, ready to ride!”

“Just admit it, you don’t know anything about her!”

“No, you’re good, just don’t chase cars.”

“His loss is your gain, right?”

“The faster we go, the safer I feel.”

“There has got to be a way to put something on fire in my mouth without it hurting.”

“If someone in your family hates someone, then you’re supposed to hate that person too!”

“For an enemy, you are a lifesaver.”

“Oh, it’s really clever if you knew.”

“If I jack it up, just pull the fire alarm.”

“It took you hours to make that stupid thing?”

“I love food that’s bigger than it should be.”

“You know, you’re not as weird as everyone says.”

“Would you just let me be mad!?”

“You’re kinda just saying everything you’re seeing. Is everything okay?”

“I also wanna play that claw machine where you win stuffed animals.”

“You haven’t creeped me out for weeks!”

“Hey, look it’s a bird house. Or a mailbox. ...which one is it?”

“You look like somebody who’s always looking for an excuse to get out of work.”

“I don’t know much about relationships but I don’t think dating another guy is the way to celebrate.”

“I think I’m finally getting what she’s trying to say so I’m trying to say something I think she might get.”

“I didn’t hear that, I can’t be associated with this!”

“You get that I don’t rest well, right?”

“You have no idea what’s possible here.”

“That is a great evil plan, I am proud of you.”

“I love tetherball. It’s the only ball you can never lose.”

“That was a lot of stairs!”

“Evil is one thing, but mean is a hurt that never goes away.”

“___, even I know that’s a bad idea!”

“Would you go if I told you it was my birthday?”

“Oh, what does that big one do?”

“Friendships are all about surprising each other.”

“Okay, so it’s a problem.”

“Some people don’t want exciting, they want smart, reliable, and CPR certified.”

“Nice outfit, does your mom dress you?”

“___, I know you hate it when I get an idea, but I’ve got an idea!”

“If you want it to hurt, you gotta be accurate.”

“Go ahead, ask for help.”

“Stand next to it, maybe it’ll blend in!”

“I’m the dream you’ll never wake up from.”

“Missing something is part of what makes it a great memory.”

“Cool sword, let me try!”

“Aww, hey, look, it’s bendy! ….no it’s not.”

“You said we. You’re officially in, awesome!”

“Babies love burgers.”

“I’m the one who makes the scrapbooks in this relationship!”

“You have the most beautiful eyes, what color are they?”

“Hate to be impolite but what’s up with your face, dude?”

“I don’t see this going well.”

“You still don’t get it, I WANTED to hit you in the face.”

“Didn’t that give you chills?”

“I do everything without consulting you, why should I start now?”

“Do I look like I’m kidding?! ...don’t answer that.”

“Giddy up on over here.”

“Being cute is not a full time job.”

“I’ll crush you like a bug, just like I did in skeeball!”

“You know I’m a good actor! I’ve been acting like I like you for years!”

“I’m so glad you finally found something you’re half-good at.”

“You’re gonna get electrocuted eventually.”

“Eww, is this diet?”

“Sleep with one eye open tonight.”

“I don’t wanna end up the male equivalent of chicks with cats!”

“I just ate a bunch of sugar, guess we’re both having good days.”

“It’s so funny when people you don’t know explode.”

“In situations like this I usually say hosed.”

“One more good idea and I might have to bother learning your name.”

“Excuse me while I pretend to take a phone call.”

“You’ve said that every five minutes.”

“Don’t stare at me.”

“I think I’m gonna keep you around for a while.”

“I’m not sure whether to scream or laugh so I’m gonna do both at the same time.”

“Ooh that sounds like a good idea if it wasn’t for the “work” part.”

“I thought of that but I was hoping you wouldn’t get there, because, y’know, it’s just trouble.”

“Don’t you ever hold back another devious idea again. You’re good at it and you need to start owning it.”

“You’re my best friend, you know I’m up to no good all the time!”

“Guess you should’ve thought your little plan through a little more carefully.”

“I see what you did there. I don’t like it, but I respect it.”

“Wouldn’t it be awesome if that was the pizza we forgot to order?”

“Nobody likes a one-trick pony.”

“I know nothing ever feels finished to me unless I rub it in someone’s face.”

“...this broke on it’s own.”

“Now I’m mad at both of us!”

“People really underestimate my arm wrestling skills.”

“You’re in here way too often.”

“You think this is hilarious, don’t you.”

“I didn’t mean to do that but that is so much funnier than what I’d meant to do.”

“You know I use laughter to hide the pain!”

“Lucky for you, today’s the day I’ve decided to help others.”

“Let’s just call it a practical joke, okay? It’s less of a red flag.”

“Never love anything too much. It will eventually disappoint you.”

“You think I’m an evil genius? That’s so sweet!”

“Well that was weird and meaningless.”

“Why do people think I don’t date?”

“You’re talking to me, I’m taking it as a victory.”

“Oh, no wonder smart people are so fun!”

“Your brain has a short attention span, it’s very easy to overpower.”

“You don’t need dialogue for a comedy to be funny.”

“I think you know a better way to thank me.”

“I’m exhausted from all that running and overacting.”

“I like you. I hope you don’t wreck it.”

“I try to avoid situations that emphasize my awkwardness.”

“The value of sleep is a myth.”

“We’re not THAT dysfunctional.”

“This is SO going on the Internet.”

“Say whatever you want, we all know how much you care about this.”

“Yeah, I think you’re the only one who knows what you’re talking about.”

“There was a time when I thought you wouldn’t amount to much. That time was yesterday.”

“I feel like I’ve asked enough questions to not be responsible for what’s about to happen.”

“Sorry, but the public has spoken and they love me.”

“Come down here and see how great I am!”

“You think I’m doing nothing, but really I’m planning against you.”

“I find that if you keep acting like something you want’s gonna happen it just does.”

“Get out of here, I’m about to do something you don’t want to know about.”

“People used to make fun of me behind my back but now I’m okay with it.”

“Knowledge is cool.”

“You’re odd, but you adore me and I like that.”

“You know, things are not looking good for you.”

“Yeah, hi. Where do you think you’re going?”

“Good luck not being ashamed of all that, sweetie.”

“You know how I always support your unpredictable whims.”

“I knew how this was gonna go, I just didn’t think it would happen so soon.”

“Do you ever listen to yourself or is there an invisible shield that just blocks your ears?”

“You’re making it hard to be supportive.”

“I didn’t think this moment would happen because, if I did, I probably wouldn’t have done it.”

“I’ll try to say this as nice I can but you look like something I snaked out of my shower drain.”

“I can only learn one new thing a week.”

“I’m still mad at you for the last time you said I hold a grudge.”

“I need to get back to doing a lot of nothing.”

“Winging it never fails.”

“My two favorite things now are baking my own pie crust and knitting.”

“I’m just gonna move this breakable stuff outta the way here…”

“This was urgent, like, a minute ago.”

“If anybody should be playing nice right now, it’s you.”

“I love loopholes.”

“For once I’m not gonna let you ruin something important for me.”

“I most definitely do not need your help.”

“See what I just did there? It’s called lightening the mood.”

“I’ve never been more happy to be somewhere I didn’t wanna be my entire life.”

“So you’re admitting that this is kinda your fault.”

“Okay, so, second time’s the charm.”

“Hey, I’ve got an idea, why don’t I lead and you follow.”

“There’s a right way to do things and that’s the way I like to do them.”

“This is the longest you’ve ever gone without making fun of me.”

“I know I don’t say it very often, but thank you.”

“You gotta learn to let me do the talking.”

“Even in the face of the most imminent doom you still can be super annoying.”

“Seriously, what is with all this hugging?”

“The thing about proms is that people always expect too much and then they’re always let down.”

“People underestimate the power of goofy.”

“Sometimes I stifle my excitement in front of you because you’re rarely ever excited like this.”

“You should probably pay me for this.”

“Girls love alternate means of transportation.”

“You’d make an amazing pickpocket.”

“Walk with me and keep telling me things you love about me.”

“___, how can you be so cute and so spineless at the same time?”

“Hey, this right here is the highlight of your whole life. How do you feel about it now?”

“Just once I’d like to win one of these!”

[justacouplebandfics]

We’ve got scars on our future hearts (Jalex) - Chapter 1

Description: Alex dealt with self harm when he was younger, that's over now though- he's better, until he's not. Struggling with the idea of self harming as an adult Alex keeps the issue to himself, but living on a tour bus with your band there's only so long you can keep something a secret.

Warning: Contains graphic descriptions of self harm

It’s also available here on Wattpad, and you can find the masterlist here. 

Disclaimer: All self harm is valid self harm, all notions of 'real' self harm discussed in this fic come from a place of internal struggle.

Alex's POV

I flopped down on my bunk, exhausted from tonight's show- it was amazing, the crowd, the lights, I never get tired of it- looking out to the sea of smiling fans I'm always reminded how lucky I am to have made it like this. I couldn't ask for better band mates, the tour is going incredibly well, which is why it's just so hard to comprehend why I feel so down sometimes. It feels so selfish. There are people who have genuine problems who get up every day and get on with it and I'm sat here miserable for no good reason.

Pulling the curtain to my bunk closed I reach up to the little shelf and grab my sunglasses pouch, opening it and reaching into the little back pocket I sit and look at the small collection of blades. There's a couple I jimmied out of a pencil sharpener years ago and a new box cutter blade I brought the other week, I let out a tense breath as I pick it up and set it down on the duvet in front of me.

I struggled with self harm when I was younger, honestly I'm pretty sure with how the world is nowadays you'd be hard pushed to find someone that didn't at least think about it at that age. By younger I mean high school, your so-called glory days, even though it's only the privilege few who seem to get to actually enjoy it. It was never anything terrible- cat scratches really, yeah my thighs are absolutely riddled with scars but I can't remember ever cutting myself in a way that was any kind of impressive.

It got better after high school, All Time Low kicked off and I didn't even think about it for a while, kind of just forgot it was ever a thing- every now and then things got a bit too stressful and I'd return to it but I'd knock it off within a few days. I'm an adult, this isn't the way adults deal with their problems, it felt embarrassing to do it, childish.

I don't even remember what brought it back this time- I was alone on the bus one evening, a rare occurrence, and I just did it. I wasn't even particularly sad or angry, the urge just came out of nowhere and overwhelmed my mind. I never got rid of the blades from high school, they sat unused in an old sunglasses pouch for some glasses I hadn't picked up since high school either, so it was just too easy to go back to my bunk and slice up my thighs. I know I should have thrown them out, or not brought them with me, but a little part of my brain kept telling me at some point I'll relapse again and need them, and I guess it was right.

It wasn't anything awful that time either, three shallow cuts at the top of my thigh, on the clean scar-free skin I hadn't touched in my high school days. The clean up process was so familiar it was almost comforting, wiping up the blood, sticking on a bandage, pulling up my skinny jeans trying not to let them drag against it. I sat back down in the front lounge all too aware of the pain on my right thigh as Jack and Rian walked in, all smiles from meeting some fans. I plastered on a smile too and pretended everything was fine.

After blankly staring at the blade in front of my for what feels like forever I let out another tense breath and pick it up, pressing the sharp corner into the pad of my thumb, trying to find a reason for wanting to do this tonight. I can hear the guys' voices faintly from the front lounge, laughing about something; I think to myself for a moment that I could just put this away, I could go out there and laugh and have fun, I don't have to do this, but almost immediately the overwhelming urges drown those thoughts out.

I feel like I'm running on autopilot as I slip the blade into the back of my phone case, get out of my bunk and grab my towel from where it's hanging. Walking towards the front of the bus I crack open the door to the lounge, peeking my head around "Hey guys, I'm gonna hop in the shower real quick- was anyone waiting?" With only one shower on the bus and some venues not having any in the green room you can very quickly find yourself 5 deep in a queue to get clean after a show. My brain might be overrun with urges to slice my thighs open at the moment but I'm not about to be a queue-jumping asshole.

"Nah, you're all good" Jack pipes up from the couch, giving me a toothy grin that makes my stomach twist up. It's not that I feel guilty about them being sad or worried if they find out, it's the sheer embarrassment of it- this is something I did when I was younger and didn't know any better, it's not something you're meant to do as an adult. I can just imagine the looks of judgement if they ever saw, the mocking pity, I just couldn't do it.

After some sounds of agreement from the other guys, way more interested in whatever movie was on than who was in the shower, I shut the door and pick out a pair of joggers from my wardrobe as I head to the bathroom. Locking the door behind me I reach into the shower and turn it on, facing the shower head towards the wall. After shimmying out of my skinny jeans I put the toilet lid down and take a seat, pulling the blade out from the back of my phone case, balancing it on my thigh.

I bite at my bottom lip as I try to conjure up a reason for doing this again, coming up completely blank. My mind just feels like static at the moment and this is the only way I know how to stop it.

Fuck this is so stupid.

I pick up the blade and press the corner into my thigh, just below the ones from yesterday, slowly dragging it across my skin. The familiar pin prick pain lights up my thigh as I see little beads of blood start to form. Grabbing some toilet paper I wipe it away, repositioning my blade at the start of the cut again and going in for another swipe. I carry on like that for a little while- swipe, bleed, wipe, until there are 4 cuts, definitely not deep enough for any kind of medical attention, but deep enough to gape a bit.

I sit and admire them for a moment, I'm almost proud- the cuts now are so much deeper than they were in high school, they feel more like real self harm, but they still aren't deep enough. I press a clean piece of tissue to them to soak up the blood while I clean off the blade, drying it and slipping it back into my phone case. I pick up the paper and take another look, now the blood is wiped up I can see the 4 white lines, the gaping showing off the exposed dermis clearly.

Standing up I pick up all the bloodied tissues and throw them into the toilet, checking to see if I accidentally got any blood anywhere in the bathroom. Satisfied all the evidence of my sins is in the toilet bowl I step into the shower, mentally bracing myself for the stinging sensation that will come when I turn the shower head onto myself.

I stand under the stream for a while, having already showered earlier I don't feel the need to wash myself again, just wiping away any of the already dried blood on my thigh. I let the slightly-too-hot water burn my back as I press my forehead against the cool shower door, the shame starting to set in. At least my head feels clearer now, calmer.

I step out and dry off, grabbing the medical kit stashed under the sink and securing a bandage over the new cuts- trying to avoid placing the tape over the assortment of scabs already present. Throwing on the joggers and the t-shirt I came in with I flush the toilet and head back out to my bunk, making sure the curtain is shut firmly behind me before transferring the blade back to its rightful place.

I make my way to the front lounge, sitting myself down next to Jack who's sprawled out over one of the couches. Matt and Zack are sat on the floor, eyes glued to the TV, and Rian's taking up the other couch, half dozing off as he tries to follow the movie. I don't recognise it, and I don't bother to ask either, it looks like it's a fair way in and I hate being the person who keeps interrupting the movie to ask people to explain what's happening.

Instead I look to Jack, flashing him a quick smile which he promptly returns before turning back to the TV.

---

I'm not sure when I dozed off but it must've been a while ago because when I open my eyes it's just me and Jack in the lounge, and the TV has been switched off.

"Hey, sorry I didn't want to wake you, you looked so tired" I hear Jack say from above me- it's only now that I realise I've been lying with my head on his shoulder. Not that that matters, we've been best friends for years, we're ridiculously comfortable around each other.

I sit upright and shift to face him, leaning my elbow on the back of the couch, still a bit groggy "When did the others head to bed?" I ask.

"I dunno, maybe an hour ago?"

"Hmm," I hum, blinking away the fog of sleep and looking around.

"So two showers tonight, huh?" Jack asks, still looking down at his phone, mindlessly scrolling through twitter. I try to sus what he's getting at, my mind instantly jumping to 'he knows', I must have taken too long to respond because he looks away from his phone for a minute and gives me a slightly puzzled look "Lex?"

"Oh, yeah! Sweaty one, small venues are so nostalgic but damn do they get hot" I finally get out, playing off the delayed response as plain grogginess, laughing a bit. Jack chuckles and goes back to scrolling, I'd hoped nobody would've noticed I took two showers- I was one of the first back on the bus so I hopped in first right after the show, despite Jack's goofiness though he can be pretty observant sometimes. I push the question out of my mind as I stand up and stretch.

"I'm gonna head to bed, I'll catch you tomorrow" I say to Jack as I start walking towards the door.

"Night Lex" Jack calls back.

"Night Jack" I reply, shutting the door behind me and slipping into my bunk.