#and if it's a show totally different from AoS that's fine

[thegeminisage]

SEARCH FOR SPOCK breakdown

i watched THIS movie three days ago and im still not over it. incoherent phone liveblogs translated to normal human language below:

firstly, this movie is extraordinarily quiet. even with my computer and browser volume and 100% i still couldn't hear it. we had such trouble finding a copy that was both loud and subtitled i had to download my own - even actually starting a free paranmount plus trial didn't work because their website is GARBAGE and refused to load the movie for me on any browser. which meant losing one day. and then the second day i was out of town. i had to wait SO LONG to start searching for spock. i basically forgot the first 12 minutes of the film bc of those two lost days

uhura was very hot in this movie. i love how she had stuff to do. idk how she keeps getting hotter every movie but she's the most beautiful woman in the world i think. her telling that little ensign to get into the closet while calling him a good boy was maybe the sexiest thing she's ever done. i wish she had gotten to go with them the whole time!

the absolute screaming that ensued when kirk found bones sitting in a pitch black room with spock's voice coming out of his mouth. like i said i knew vaguely about this but i did not expect him to be FUCKING POSSESSED??? i need to find time to read 4000 spones fics about this specifically if anyone has recs i am soliciting them

everything was so good. the comment about poison in a bar not being logical. the failed nerve pinch. him being able to suddenly act as first officer. mwah

i like the snowy cacti on genesis even though most of those sections lagged for me personally. not like computer lag but like. psychologically. and baby spock was so cute!! teenage spock did not need to be fucking his former student who is now way older than him tho. that was wack. sorry saavik

the entire section of busting bones out of prison and stealing the enterprise is one of my favorite trek scenes from everything i've seen so far, actually. it's exciting, it's funny, it's heartwarming, the chemistry is off the charts, and they all truly feel like a family.......cathy said it best but this is what aos was missing tbh

ALSO I TOTALLY RECOGNIZED LEONARD NIMOY'S VOICE IN THE ELEVATOR SHAFT. am i faceblind maybe a little bit but my ear never fails me

very shocked to see christopher lloyd in this movie. his makeup was um questionable. but he did a great job

we went back and forth for awhile on whether or not bones realized he was possessed. i guess "you're suffering from a mind meld" wasn't specific enough. like did he know spock was IN THERE. but we didnt know for sure until jim was like "how are we doing" and bones was like "WE are doing just fine thank you but i'd rather he have just taken a kidney" which was fucking hilarious. third best best line after "i've got all his marbles" and "THAT GREEN BLOODED SON OF A BITCH THIS IS REVENGE FOR ALL THE ARGUMENTS HE LOST" he's so iconic. like it wasn't actually just revenge for the stunt he pulled in the empath.

deeply mourning the enterprise. i knew there were different enterprises and that they had to blow her up eventually bc spoilers but this is the one and only first ever enterprise TO ME. watching her go down in flames was almost as painful as watching spock die. rest in peace queen :(

absolutely FLOORED they fridged david. i didn't expect them to do that ever but i'm SO glad they did bc 1. cry bitch and 2. i didn't actually care about him. despite them finding spock on genesis those parts of the movie felt slowest to me because spock wasn't able to like, Be Spock and i just did not care about david. i like saavik but i liked her better when she wasn't fucking spock. so. perfect choice

final fight was good. i was like I DONT CARE ABOUT THIS SHOW ME SPOCK but then i gasped every time one of them almost bit it. rip christopher lloyd's character he did a great job

did i burst into tears when kirk held spock and pointed a gun at people? yeah

however what we missed was the bit where bones goes to hold him instead when kirk has to put him down. truly the mcspirk movie of all time.

bones going "i choose the danger" HE IS SO IMPORTANT i love him so much

having absolute kittens in the section where i had to wait to find out if they put spock's katra back. like obviously they were gonna. did i start crying again when spock started talking? YEAH. i knew he was gonna have amnesia but i forgot so i got to be surprised anyway. and then also cried through the credits too bc ofc i did. spock is so important. bones tapping his temple at the end was everything though

idk why everyone says the odd ones are all bad! 1 was bad and i know everybody hated 5 but 3 was REALLY GOOD. i liked it even better than wrath of khan - aside from, again, the pon farr thing. there was more interpersonal stuff than in 2 but it didn't lack action and momentum the way that 1 did. it was perfect. there's no way 4 can be better than this. no way. sincerely hoping i eat my words <3

[agl03]

Fandom Mama! Long time no ask. I am seeing stuff on Twitter about Chloe/Daisy being in Secret Invasion that I thought you would be best to ask you. Is she in it?

Hi Anon,

To my knowledge, NO, Chloe/Daisy will not be in Secret Invasion, she said as much in a recently interview. And before anyone yells at me, yes I know very well Marvel has NDA's, actors have lied, and and hides things all the time. But I still don't think we will see here, there is just no indication that the story or the MCU is going into Inhumans/Secret Warriors right now. And usually there is something, somewhere, that has leaked from set, just a little to hint of that surprise. I have heard none of those rumblings.

I wholly own I could be wrong on this one. I know there are people out there that are very confident she will show up. I've been on that I will die on this hill confident about a theory over the years too. I've hit and missed over the years, but like my overall track record on the whole theorizing and predicting things. For me the fun was in the predicting, research, discussions, asks, and metas.

I am not on the die on this hill with Daisy being in Secret Invasion.

Will I enjoy it if she doesn't show up, you bet! I'm so excited for this one.

Will I enjoy it if she does show up, you bet! I'm so excited for this one.

It will be really nice to watch a who can you trust kind of show and not be petrified about it and its fallout like I was during AOS.

If IF, Daisy does appear in Secret Invasion I can not emphasize enough that IT WILL NOT BE THE SAME DAISY WE KNOW AND LOVE FROM AOS.

I've well established in many asks that thanks to the time loop AOS is off in a whole other branch of the timeline about a forest away from where the MCU is now. And the show was running years behind where Endgame would up. So our, Deke's and whatever many time streams they spun off via the loops and making waves in the Season 7 timeline is off in their own happy little worlds. Fitzsimmons have HEA in Perthshire (they will pry that from my cold dead hands), Robo Coulson is off seeing the world, May is running the Academy, Mack is the Director, Elena is the top Agent with Piper and Robo Davis, and Daisy is an Astro Ambassador with Sousa and Kora (again you will take that from my cold dead hands).

If Daisy shows up she will have a completely new backstory that will fit with what the writers of Secret Invasion needed. No team family, different origin story, no Sousa, different attitude and personality, heck a different take on her powers could happen. We saw in Season 7 how changes to the timeline, big and small, could impact things down the line. Then there was the fresh take we got on Ghost Rider on the show, completely different than the one we'd seen on screen years ago. Robbie's story was adjusted to fit the AOS 4a storyline.

Robbie is also proof AOS is way off in its own timeline thanks to the Darkhold.

At this point I think its best for everyone to just settle in for the ride. Unless we get an ABC intern level of finale photo leak, rip rando intern we love you, we are likely not to get any confirmation either way until the show actually airs.

Its totally cool to hope for it if you want it. While its totally cool to be against it if you don't. And its fine to be in the middle and just be along for the ride like I am. As usual have fun with the theorizing and Manage Expectations. Please...don't make me dig through my blog for that post again.

[eclecticmuses]

look don’t get me wrong I am very glad that Agents of SHIELD is ending on its own terms instead of going out open-ended but IMHO it’s dumb as shit to end your network Marvel superhero TV show and then immediately turn around and be like oh WAIT we are developing A WHOLE NEW ONE

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

MONKIE KID SEASON 3 EPISODE 10 REACTION 

RIGHT

SO 

UH

WOW

THAT WAS UH 

OH MAN 

SO THAT LAST EP WAS UH 

HOO BOY 

MACAQUE IS UH 

HAHAHA 

Y I K ES 

wow 

I’m not over the fact that the power is literally eating him up and like erupting out of him even while he’s in shadow, he looks trapped by it as it consumes him that’s insane bro 

Also uh 

ah 

wow he really 

beat Mk into the ground long and hard enough that he couldn’t get up haha 

wow

LEGO Monkie Kid WHAT THE CRAP 

that was insane 

that was insane

OKAY

EPISODE 10

MIGHT AS WELL DO IT WHILE MY BRAIN’S TOO FRIED TO UH

YEAH 

OKAY 

HERE WE GO 

still reeling but HERE WE GO 

FOR MY MENTAL HEAAAALTHHHHH— 

(which this show is destroying /j) 

HERE WE GO HERE WE GO

I’m gonna be killed this is it 

MAN THIS THEME SON GAFTER ALL THAT 

I am so freaking glad i didn’t watch this all at once, I’m so freaking glad i waited for the english dub THIS SHOW IS FREAKING INSANE RN 

FLASHBACK TIME

OH YES LETS FREAKING GO 

TRIPITAKA TANG SANZANG VOICED BY TANG YEAH YOU BET HAHA SCREMS 

“To split the fire you need to harmonize ur energies” HAHAH THEY COULD NOT BE MORE DIFFERENT I’M WHEEZINGBSFDL;MAWE

TRIPTIAKA’S SHOES ARE INCREDIBLE I’M YELLINGSDBF;LAWME

“this is kinda easier than i thought it would be” MONKEY KING PLEASE 

THE FIRE COMING AT HIM 

HAHA IT’S ONLY ONE OF THE ONLY THING STHAT EVER HURT HIM AHAHA YEAH OH MAN OH MAN

OH HE TRIPPED

HE TRIPPED

OH MAN

THAT FIRE EFFECTS HIM WAY MORE THAN IT DOES THE OTHERS HE’S MORE PWOERFUL THAN DBK AND THIS

OH MAN

AND THE WAY THEY’RE ALL YELLING AT HIM |;A;/ 

WUKONG YOU FOOOOOOL 

noooo

noooooo

oH NOOOOO

OH NO 

THAT IS WHAT 

OH NO

BUDDY 

YUP

THAT EXPAINS A LOT 

THE UH 

HAHA 

WAY TO COMMUNICATE AO LIE WAY TO LET PEOPLE KNOW UH

OH MAN

THIS EXPLAINS A LOT 

YEAH SO 

UH

HOW’D HE NOT DIE IS MY QUESTION 

HAHAHAHHAHA

SO MEI JUST GREW UP WITH THAT IN HER

SHE REALLY IS THE REINCARNATION OF UH

WOW WE’RE REALLY DOING THIS HUH AHAHAHAHHAHA I’M SCREAMING 

I LOVE NEZHA AND WUKONG’S LITTLE DYNAMIC THO 

THAT MY FRIENDS HAS THE ENERGY OF LIKE LAID BACK DAD AND HIGH STRUNG TOTALLY NOT ADOPTED SON GB;LAKSDMFWE THEY REALLY ARE JUST BUDDIES I LOVE THEM 

Not over the fact Wukong slipped up, everyone yelled at him, and he got hit by the fire, tripped, got hit again (the fire that is the only thing to every hit him) and like, no one even… cared? I mean I know he’s the monkey king, I know he’s immortal x7 but like 

dang 

Ao Lie Bai Longma tho, he took a brunt of one for sure and Tripitaka’s concerned about him instantly 

and the group hug with the jttw crew that’s in the background and Wukong’s just… not in it. He doesn’t even feel like he’s part of the group I’m actually gonna cry, that’s his family and they didn’t even seem to care beyond yelling at him 

WOW I’M

YEAH NO WONDER WUKONG DOESN’T LET PEOPLE KNOW HE’S HURT, NO ONE DOES ANYTHING BUT YELL AT HIM FOR IT UH 

HAHA

WOW

Like if hhh

MAN

If Wukong were in Bai Longma’s position, and jumped in front of Tripitiaka, no one would have batted an eye because that’s his job, that’s what he’s supposed to do. He could be hurt, hide it and they wouldn’t acknowledge it, and he certainly wouldn’t get praise cause that’s just what’s expected of him. Put him in another position, slips up, peoples lives are at stake, makes sense they’d startle, but like, if he ever slips up, shows he’s hurt, what does he get? Yelling. Scolding, anger. LIKE NO WONDER HE DOESN’T COMMUNICATE NO FREAKING WONDER ALL HE DOES IS TRY TO PROTECT MK, HE’S USED TO PEOPLE YELLING AT HIM FOR ANYTHING ELSE I’M 

H 

HECK

OKAY I REALLY NEED TO MOVE ON NOPE PAUSED AGAIN

THE WAY “YOU DID IT MASTER! WE KNEW YOU COULD!” AND THEY HUG HIM AND WUKONG LOOKS AT THEM FROM A DISTANCE, WITH THIS SMILE, THIS STUPID SAD KINDA HAPPY SAD SMILE, THE SMILE IS JUST AAAAAAAAA IT’S HE LOVES HIS LITTLE FAM BUT HE’S NOT EVEN PART OF IT I’M GONNA SCREAM 

OH YEAH RIGHT WE’RE IN THIS 

HAHAHA AW MAN 

TANG’S CRYING 

GOLDEN CICADA

THAT’S FREAKING H

MAN 

FREAKING

OKAY WE’RE FINE 

HE JUST KNOWS 

AHAHAHA 

WUKONG’S JUST PANCKED 

REALLY WANTED THEM TO WAIT

HAHA AW MAN 

AW

AW NEZHA

YESSSSS

YESSS

HE STOPPED TO LISTEN TO MONKEY KING

I’M NOT SURE H

GOSH DANG 

I’M HOLDING THEM BOTH SO GENTLY 

WUKONG LOOKIN GSURPRISED 

“Lets see if my aim is as good as it used to be” 

Wukong: AHA HOW BOUT WE DON’T— 

HE DOESN’T TRUST THAT AT ALLGBSDLKFMAWE 

MANS LOOKED ACTIVELY NERVOUS 

ALRIGHT

ALRIGHT GO SAVE YOU’RE FREAKIGN SON AND ALMOST DAUGHTER / REINCARNATED FAM 

GO GET YO SON 

GO GET YO FAM 

OH MAN

OH NO MEI

OH NO 

TOO LATE

OH NOOOOOO

OH MAN POOR MEI 

HEY

HEY NOW

ALRIGHT, HEY SO, THE CHAINS SNAP

IN THE

IN THE FRAME THING

AND HE LOOKS DOWN AT BOTH WRISTS

NOT THE BONE SIDE

BUT BOTH WRISTS WHERE THEY WERE

AND HE COUDL SEE THEY WERE GONE

WHICH MEANS HE COULD CONSTANTLY SEE AND FEEL THEM ON HIM THIS ENTIRE TIME 

OH GOSH MEI THO 

HERE WE MOTHERFREAKING GO 

Ngl 

I get the feeling Wukong was gonna try and snatch the fire and use it himself instead of it going to Mei judging from the way he was jumping directly in uh

Fire and monkey don’t mix

that would of uh 

hm 

interesting Wukong you really were ready to die huh

right we’ll lets see how this goes 

WELL ALSO THERE’S NO WAY HE DOESN’T KNOW NOW

THAT MEI IS BAI LONGMA’S REINCARNATION 

HAHAHAHAH THAT’S GONNA BE FUN 

THEY’RE PROBABLY NOT GONNA ADDRESS IT BUT BOY I WISH THEY WOULD 

AW MK

BUDDY

I’M GONNA CRY HE’S SO WORRIED 

THE WAY

THEY WAY MK

TRIES REACHING FOR HER ANYWAYS

WUKONG SNATCHING HIM AND GETTING HIM OUT OF THE WAY BECAUSE HEY, FIRE IS STILL MONKEY KING AND BY ASSOCIATION MONKIE KID’S BIG OL WEAKNESS

Nezha really has the worst bedside manner

Nezha: so, bad news. Yyou’re gonna die 

Mei: WHAT

I’M CRYGNDSKFAMWOE

MK’S CONCNERN, WUKONG DOES NOT LOOK LIKE HE’S INTERESTED IN LETTING THAT HAPPEN 

THE WAY WUKONG ZERO’S IN ON MACAQUE

YOU

AND MACAQUE JUST LIKE AH I NEED TO RUN RIGHT NOW

AND WUKONG REACHING INTO THE

REACHING INTO THE SHADOWS AND TEARING HIM BACK OUT 

HAHA

WOW 

YEAH

YOU DONE SCREWED UP MACCY BOY 

THE WAY THAT MACAQUE TRIES TO RATIONALIZE 

HE REALLY IS JUST

REALLY STUPID

HE HAS NO IDEA

HE’S JUST

HE JUST DOES STUFF WITHOUT THINKING 

HE HAS NO THOUGHT PROCESS

HE CANNOT SEE WHAT CONSEQUENCES MIGHT COME AND WHEN THEY DO TRIES TO ABSOLVE HIMSELF FROM SAID CONSEQUENCES DESPITE HIS HAND IN MAKING THEM HAPPEN 

THIS IS WHY HE BLAMES WUKONG FOR LITERALLY ANYTHING, HE JUST CANNOT RATIONALIZE IN HIS HEAD THAT HE MAKES ANYTHING BAD HAPPEN EVER, HE’S ALWAYS THE VICTUM I SWEAR I’M GONNA DRAG HIM TO THE UNDERWORLD MYSELF BGSDLKFMAWOE 

a

ah

THE WHOLE ITS THE

IT’S THE 

Dang 

Like the whole 

shoot man that’s 

heck 

Wukong goes to punch him, right? And Macaque just, turns his head away, but not to shield his injured eye, but the one he’s got left cause he was genuinely like “ah, he’s going to take my other eye” HOLY CRAP MY GUY 

…

shoulda punched him in the face

COME ON TANG YOU JUST WATCHED THIS GUY HURT BOTH OF YOUR KIDS

STOP BEING SO NICE AAAA 

I’m one to talk LOL 

MAN THO 

ACK 

THE WAY TAHT WUKONG ACTUALLY STOPS THE MOMENT HE HEARS TANG’S VOICE THO 

MAN 

ALSO TANG YOU LITERALLY CANT’ TAKE RESPONCIBLITY FOR THIS PLEASE 

I mean Macaque’s been through a lot, i get not wanting to see anyone get hurt but MAN holy crap has he wrecked a lot of stuff YIKES AND REALLY HARMED UR KIDS TANG 

OH FREAKING NO

TRIGGER WORD

DESTINY

AND NOW WUKONG’S HORROR, PANIC, PARANOIA OF PLAYING RIGHT INTO HER HANDS RIGHT ON HIS FACE 

JUST DROPS HIM LIKE AN EMPTY SODA CAN GBDSLKAFMAWE 

Like, 

hhhh

MAN I HAVE WAY TOO MANY THOUGHTS RN 

You ever think about the fact that Wukong maybe has gotten so used to people yelling at him and telling him he’s wrong that he genuinely can’t tell what action is truly the worst or not right because they respond the same way regardless? 

ANYWAY THO UH 

THANKS TO MK FOR THE BREATH OF FRESH AIR

THE FACT THAT MEI HASN’T EVEN MOVED YET BGLKDFMAE I AM SO FREAKING CONCERNED

also the fact Macaque hasn’t tried to run away again that’s getting to me 

as long as you stay away from Mk i’ll be happy 

AH HA

YEAH

THIS IS GOING WELL 

THIS IS GOING GREAT 

THE WAY THEY’RE ALL SHEILDING EACH OTHER 

the way we get a close up on mac’s face while Wukong explains his plan 

he really has no idea what’s going on also YEAH WUKONG’S LACK OF SELF-PRESERVATION MAKES AN APPEARANCE 

YEAH THAT ISN’T A GOOD PLAN BUT LIKE

UH

IT’S LITERALLY THE ONLY ONE THEY HAD 

YES THEY COULD HAVE DISCUSSED IT MORE AND MAYBE COME UP WITH A BETTER ONE

HHH

WUKONG *SHAKES HIM* I DON’T KNOW HOW Y’ALL COULD HAVE MADE THIS WORK BETTER BUT LIKE, IF YOU’D JUST COMMUNICATE YOU COULD HAVE FREAKING AT LEAST BEEN ON THE SAME PAGE BUT HE’S SO FREAKING USED TO FIGURING OUT STUFF ON HIS OWN I’M GONNA SCREAM 

The way Mei yells at him 

“Time and time again I’ve watched you hurt” yeah wow heck 

he really just

gets yelled at every time and you know what

yeah

crap man 

no matter what he does it ends in him getting yelled at 

understandable sometimes but no wonder he gets it wrong so much 

ALSO I KEEP TALKING ABOUT HOW MEI WATCHES WHAT HAPPENES TO MK BUT STEPS BACK A BIT TO LET HIM FIGURE STUFF OUT AND SUPPORT HIM BUT HHH

OH MAN I WASN’T EXPECTING THEM TO ACTAULLY BRING IT UP I’M GONNA SCREAM

WUKONG’S FACE 

H

THE WAY MACAQUE HASN’T LEFT THO 

HE HASN’T TRIED TO LEAVE 

THIS IS 

WE HAVEN’T SEEN THIS FROM MACAQUE BEFORE THIS IS THE FIRST TIEM HE HASN’T ACTED OUT OF SELF-INTEREST HE REALLY IS JUST STANDING THERE WATCHING THIS UNFOLD 

AND THE WAY MK’S LIKE “NOT A CHANCE GUYS I’M NOT LEAVING MY BEST FRIEND” 

AND THEN WUKONG EITHER GLANCES BACK AT MACAQUE OR MK 

AND THE WAY MACAQUE LOOKS 

I’m telling ya y’alls Wukong and Macaque were just best friends way back in the day I’m calling it now and hh

I’M FINE 

“DON’T YOU REALIZE YOU’RE HURTING THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT THE MOST?” 

…

hooooooo boy 

had to go back to that cause uh 

yeah

wow

really calling this monkey out on that one, which is rough, because he really is trying his hardest and its just… never right 

Except it has the potential to be with this group because they listen

he’s just…

not used to that 

dang 

heck 

okay

I can move on 

probably 

oh man

and the fact she’s just also basically saying “we care about you” um 

we care about you and you’re hurting us 

yeah 

I’M IN PAIN GUYS 

FR 

I WAS NOT EXPECTING THEM TO ADDRESS ALL THIS AND HAVE THIS ACTUALLY SAID 

IV’E BEEN TALKING ABOTU THIS FOR AGES AND THERE SHE IS SAYING IT ALL 

HOLY CRAP 

ah tHERE WE GO

FINALLY 

BYE MACAQUE 

HAHAHAHHAHA 

The fact that Mk still actually hoped he’d stay to help even after LITERALLY GETTING THE CRAP BEATEN OUT OF HIM BY HIM and actually looked kinda… hurt about it, but jsut squeezed his eyes shut, cause expected, and turned to do the thing whatever thing he’s about to do haha 

oh man 

Mk: we’re heroes 

Macaque: not me bud PEACE OUT 

No fr tho I don’t think Macaque views himself as someone who’s even capable of being a hero. it’s so funny how he’s so mad at Wukong for possibly “abandoning” him and getting all that power without him, but at the same time any time he’s presented with a chance to do something different, to change like wukong did, he nopes out. I don’t think macaque really wants power so much as he just… wants someone?? To care about him?? I dunno my dude, he’s an idiot whatever the case with truama and he needs to stay away from Mk because neither of them are really good for each other right now and get some freaking therapy away from this kid that he uses as a punching bag

AA TOO MANY THOUGHTS LETS KEEP GOING MY BRAIN IS SCATTERED SO NONE OF HTIS IS GONNA MAKE SENSE 

EVERYONE TELLING HIM TO LEAVE AND MK REFUSING BECAUSE THIS KID WILL LITERALLY DESTROY HIMSELF BEFORE HE ABANDONS ANYONE 

see this is why I’m an Mk kinnie BGLKA;M;OFE BUT ALSO A WUKONG KINNIE BECAUSE I’M GREAT AT COMMUNICATING /J 

THE WAY WUKONG REACHES FOR HIM 

OH NO THAT’S GONNA HURT HIM 

OH NOOOO

OH NOOO BUDDYYYY 

MK

HECK IT’S BURNING HIM HIS JACKET IS SINGED 

AND HE’S JUST

“I know you’re upset, and that’s okay—“ I’M GONNA START CRYING?? 

WAIT I JUST REALIZED

I JUST REALIZED 

MY POST

THIS IS MY POST THE WHOLE

MEI ALWAYS CATCHES MK AND WALKS HIM THROUGH STUFF UNTIL HE’S READY AND NEVER LEAVES HIM 

AND I TALKED ABOUT “I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF MK’S PUT IN THE SUPPORT POSITION RATHER THAN MEI” AND HE IS

RIGHT HERE

AND HE’S NOT LEAVING, NOT EVEN BACKING AWAY, HE’S MOVING FORWARD THROUGH LITERAL ACTUAL FIRE AND TALKIGN TO HER YOU GUYS I’M GOING TO FREAKING SOB I SWEAR 

THE WAY HIS CLOTHES ARE BURNIGN AWAY

I’M GONNA START CRYING 

THE

THEY HUG

THEY DID THE HUG THING

THE YOU ALWAYS HAVE MY BACK 

WE WILL FIGURE THIS OUT

I’M GONNA START SOBBING

THE HUG Y’ALL THE HUG TO BRING HER BACK 

also this is a sidebar totally messing with the intense moment bUT FINALLY THE LIPSTICK HAS BEEN BURNED AWAY PRAISE THE CELESTIALS WE’RE FREE FROM THE HORRID THING— /hj 

MAN GBSDA;LKFMAWOE 

I 

I really love the fact that the MK crew is like YEEEAAH WE KNEW YOU COULD DO IT! because through everything they support each other and as long as they do that, things turn out okay (and i mean i know Mei’s gonna push him away and she’s gonna run away for fear of hurting them but like bgdls;kfae) AND THE WAY NEZHA AND WUKONG LOOK SO SURPRISED, SO SHAKEN, LIKE THEY CAN’T IMAGINE WHAT SUPPORTING ANOTHER PERSON REALLY DOES 

Wukong’s face

Wukong’s first time really seeing the crew rely on each other, love each other, hug each other, he sees Mk support his friends with everything he has and them support him back and that is what he looks like 

You guys this monkey is not okay 

I’m gonna start sobbing 

HUGS MK BACK

STARTS CRYING

MEI PLEASE

YEAH PUSH 

NO

ARGH SHE’S GONNA RUN AWAY

 OHHH

OHH MAN

OH MAN

THE

FIRST OFF, CLASSIC I DON’T WANNA HURT YOU SO I’M GONNA DISTANCE MYSELF FROM YOU *coughs and looks at Wukong* HAPPENIGN THERE IS FIRE (pun intended) AND I LOVE IT WITH MY ENTIRE SOUL THATS ONE OF THE BEST TROPES 

AND UH 

I STRAIGHT UP AM CLOSE TO CRYING FR RIGHT NOW AT THE WAY MK REACHES FOR HER AND TRIES TO JUMP, BUT CAN’T DO IT CAUSE HE’S BEEN BEATEN INTO THE GROUND AND WALKED THROUGH THE ONE THING THAT CAN ACTUALLY REALLY REALLY HURT SOMEONE WITH MONKEY KING’S POWERS 

AND HE CAN’T EVEN

STAND

I’M GONNA CRY Y’ALLS 

THE WAY THAT THEY’RE ALL HOLDING HIM 

Not a lot of shows are comfortable or even are good at writing the emotional stuff, the comfort, the holding each other, the emotional baggage, i am so happy this show keeps giving me everything i want and more I love this show fr y’alls 

Monkey King feeling real bad about this 

Guilt’s rough my guy

Wukong’s gonna do something stupid isn’t he 

ohhh no

“cant’ you see you’re hurting the people that care about ou the most” great way to not hurt people (except it does hurt them) LEAVE

GUESS WHAT I THINK THE MONKEY’S GONNA DO 

LEAVE

HE’S GONNA LEAVE ISN’T HE

HE’S GONNA LEAVE AND POSSIBLY TRY AND GO FACE THE LADY BONE DEMON ON HIS OWN BECAUSE WELCOME BACK TO WUKONG’S MIND, WEHENVER HE’S AROUND SOMEONE HE HURTS THEM, WHY DOES HE EVER LET HIMSELF STAY AROUND PEOPLE WHEN ALL HE DOES IS HURT AND HARM THEM RIGHT? BETTER TO JUST DO IT HIMSELF, ALONE, THAT WAY HE CAN’T HURT ANYONE RIGHT? 

I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE LEGIT GONNA DO THIS, IF THEY LEGIT DO THIS I’M GONNA FREAKING FLIP 

also vocally out loud realized a minute ago that Red Son has yet to show up which means he’s probably gonna show up to mei and be like “fire powers, am i right?” and then BGALKSMFAWE I’M GONNA BE THRILLED IF THEY DO TAHT IT MEANS POSSIBLE MORE RED SON TIME IN THE NEXT SEASON AND MORE RED SON AND MEI BONDING I’LL LOSE MY MIND

okay now that i’ve dropped my dumb predictions LETS GO 

KID CANT’ EVEN STAND 

THE FACT NEZHA’S LIKE “WEIRD SHE HASN’T DIED YET” 

I think it��d be neat if she has some uh… immunity to the Fire since its literally been part of her for her entire life. That would be freaking epic ngl 

“y’know, for people not paying attention” I LOVE THEM ALL SO FREAKING MUCH GBB;LWKEMFOFE

OHHOHO I JUST REALIZED THE

THE PARALLEL OF THE FIRE BURNING AWAY HIS JACKET

TOOK ALL OF MEI

TAHT WAS A GIFT FROM MEI

AND THE FIRE TOOK EVERYTHING OF MEI, HER, HER GIFT TO HIM, HER SUPPORT, HER PRESENCE, EVERYTHING GONE 

HAHAHAHA WOW I’M GONNA START SOBBING 

WOW 

ohhh man

the way Nezha’s talking, even saying “hey, maybe his plan wasn’t completely crazy” 

and Wukong doesn’t even respond

he’s just…

standing there 

(his tail is gone animation error but I’m choosing to assume he wrapped it around himself) 

he is not okay uh 

oh boy if you do the thing monkey… 

Oh nooo

Wukong

buddy 

don’t do this 

AH YUP, HE’S DOING THIS

HE’S SHAKING

GUYS

HE DOES NOT

ACTUALLY THINK HE CAN DO THIS YOU GUYS HE’S SCARED OUT OF HIS MIND TO THE POINT OF SHAKING 

GRABBING HIS ARM TO STOP IT SO THEY DON’T SEE 

GUYS

GUSY HE’S NOT OKAY AT ALL 

“If one more of my friends FLYS OFF today I’m gonna LOSE IT” YEAH THAT’S FAIR TWO LEFT CAUSE “I don’t wanna hurt you guys” BASICALLY I’M SHAKING BOTH OF THEM 

They really both said “I don’t want to hurt you so I’m gonna leave” HUH, THEY REALLY DID THAT 

THE WAY WUKONG SAYS ALL THAT THOUGH 

“I need to stop dragging you into my fights” ONLY HE KINDA HASN’T?? LIKE THERE’S THE SUCCESSOR THING, BUT LIKE, HES TRIED SO HARD TO KEEP MK AWAY FROM THE REAL FIGHTS HE KNOWS ARE DANGEROUS AND THAT HE MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HANDLE, IT’S THESE VILLIANS THAT KEEP GOING OUT OF THEIR WAY TO PULL MK IN SOLEY BECAUSE HE’S ASSOCIATED WITH WUKONG

LIEK NO WONDER THIS MONKEY HAS ABSOLUTELY NO ONE 

I’M 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

MK REALLY SAYING IF ANY OF OU LEAVE I’M GOING TO KILL YOU  

THE WAY NEZHA BGL;KSAMFAWE

“Less… slim??” I LOVE HIM HE’S PART OF THE TEAM NOW PLEASE STAY HE’S INCREDIBLE 

LOVE THE FACT MK’S JUST “NEZHA TELLS SOMETHING? SURE ACCEPT IT AS FACT HE’S FAM NOW SO WOO” 

Mk just adopting dad figures, and siblings left and right HGL;AKMF;OAEW 

WELCOME NEW SIB NEZHA, ENJOY UR STAY IN THIS CHAOTIC BUT SO SOMFT AND DEVOTED FAMILY WHO LOVE EACH OTHER SO VERY MUCH 

Them truama beans are just drawn to Mk i guess, he’s just so freaking kind and forgiving and understanding regardless i’m going to cry 

doesn’t put up with some crap when it crosses a line *looks at the monkeys* but he really is just open to letting anyone close if they’re willing to just try and I’m hh

yeah 

its rough to be that person it really is but man

man

lays down

man 

going after wukong

you ever think about the fact that this is probably the only time people have bothered coming after him outside of needing him for something. they’re going to bring him back so he doesn’t get hurt trying to do something 

AGH I JUST

I WANT THEM TO CATCH UP TO HIM (they probably won’t i know that, I know he’s probably gonna get possessed, or beat to pulp or just locked away  or half erased or something I know that) BUT LIKE, IF THEY CAUGHT UP TO HIM AND MK DID THE SAME THING HE DID FOR MEI, AND JUST HUGGED HIM TO STOP HIM FROM GOING ANYWHERE, FORCING HIM TO PAUSE AND THEN JUST TALKS TO HIM, AND WUKONG LIKE, LISTENING TO HIM AND CALMING DOWN AND I DUNNO CRYING MAYBE EVEN CAUSE HEY THEY CAME AFTER HIM AND TEAM WORK AND STUFF AND HHHHH AND THE AAAA AND THE HIM MAYBE YEAH CRYING AND HUGGING HIM BACK AND GOING BACK WITH THEM 

I KNWO IT’S MORE LIKELY HE’S GONNA GET POSSESSED OR SOEMTHING CAUSE THIS SHOW LIKES IT’S MOTHERFREAKING ANGST BUT BGL;KSADMFAOWE

IT’D BE GREAT IF MACAQUE FOLLOWED WUKONG IF HE’S FOLLOWING ANYONE IT’LL PROBABLY BE HIM NGL I SWEAR I’M GONNA THROW HIM INTO THE SUN 

okay sorry I’m good now i can move on HAHAHAHAH SCREAMS

THEY’RE SO ENCOURAGING 

OH HE DESPERATELY NEEDED THAT HUG 

THANK YOU SANDY FOR GIVING THEM ALL THE HUG THEY NEEDED FOR REAL 

NEZHA AND MK TEAM UP, SIBLING ROAD TRIP—

PIGSY GAVE HIM HIS JACKET

EVERYBODY SHUT UP TAHT IS A FATHER THAT IS A DAD THAT IS HIS DAD I’M GONNA START FREAKING SOBBING DADSY PIGSY IS A FATHER I’M SOBBINGBF;LAMOG;OIAW4EBG;AOUIEFN;AG;OAI4EWMFRAGBA;WOEM;OIAGFO;W

Monkie Kid gives me literally everything I want, this is the most satisfying show I’ve ever watched in my life, it gives me stuff I didn’t even know i needed right on a silver plate this show is everything I ever wanted and everything I ever wanna make straight up it’s gorgeous 

Mk: If another friend of mine flies off today I’m gonna LOSE IT

Mk, five minutes later: *flies off with Nezha* 

I’M /J I JSUT THINK IT’S FUNNY BG;LASDFMA;OIWE F

OKAY MEI TIME

OH THIS IS GONNA HURT ISN’T IT TO WATCH HER PUT OUT THE FIRE

BUT I WAS RIGHT RED SON’S GOTTA SHOW UP NOW OR NEVER

AND IT ALL BURNED UP INSTANTLY 

OH MEI

MEI PLEASE 

THE WAY HE PEEKS OUT FROM BEHIND THE BUSH

AND SHE’S JUST CRYING

AND HE THROWS THE

THE PLSUHIE TO CALM HER DOWN

I’M GONNA START SOBBING HE KEPT IT BGDL;KFMA;WOEHF 

THE STUPID POSING

THE WAY HE HAS TO POSE FOR THIS

“RED SON TO THE RESCUE” 

STUPID HAIR FLICK 

OH MY GOODNESS

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 

HE’S SO STUPID HE’S SO LOVELY I’M SCREAMING

HOLY CRAP THESE EPS WERE INSANE I’M NEVER GONNA RECOVER AND THE SPECIAL IS COMMING OUT WAY TOO FAST IT’S ALMOST HERE I’M GONNA DIE BG;LASDKMFA;HG;OAWIEFN;OGOIWEFMW 

I’M SO HAPPY THE LIPSTICK’S GONE I’M SORRY BUT LIKE, SHE LOOKS SO MUCH BETTER WITHOUT IT SHE’S SO PRETTY AND LOVELY HASTA LA VISTA LIPSTICK 

OH MAN

THAT TOOK

HAHA

FIVE HOURS TO WATCH BOTH

I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING Y’ALL BG;LKASDMF;AOH;AIWOEMF  WHEEZING 

WOW THO

THAT WAS A LOAD TO UNPACK AND I BASICALL ANALYZED EVERY MOMENT DEAR GOSH WHY DON’T I JUST POST MY REACTIONS AS ANALYSIS’S CAUSE THAT’S WHAT THEY ARE AT THIS POINT BG;SALKMF;AWOEFOIM 

OKAY I GOTTA STOP AND UH 

FOOD

WATER

FIND MY SANITY I DROPPED IT SOMEWHERE  

SEE YOU ALL FOR THE SPECIAL FOLKS I’M GONNA NEED SOME RECOVERY TIME FROM THESE SO UH, I’LL GET TO ASKS SOMETIME IN THE NEXT TWO WEEKS GODSPEED I’M GONNA GO PERISH NOW BG;SLDKFMA;OHWER F

[kirkodiletears]

Some thoughts on pairings and character development.

I am deliberately not tagging this post as sp'hura: I respect people's will to ship whichever characters they please and my goal is not to upset someone, but to analyze the characters and their interaction.

Nevertheless, I was thinking a lot recently about Spock and Uhura's characters and their pairing in AOS and the reasons why it just feels tense and artificial to me. They are both amazing beloved characters and strong personalities. And yet, they seem to drift apart in every other movie. In my opinion, there's a number of reasons for that. And obvious present spirk, that's "shining through" no matter what, is not the only one. In fact, I am not even sure they would work as a couple, even if Jim wasn't around. Not for long, anyway. Their characters aren't complementing each other, they are too similar and not in a good way: instead of balancing each other out, like in the case of Spock and Jim, Spock and Uhura's personalities amplify and disbalance one another. Reboot Uhura (not TOS one) is too much like a Vulcan herself: all tight up, always tense, intimidating, too serious, there is no lightness in her: TOS Uhura was singing and flirting, she was strong, yet gentle and never rigid, always very human in the best possible sense of the word. Reboot Uhura is different: she not about joking or flirting or singing or "bringing up a human side" in her partner: she's about ambitions, an "excellent student syndrome", speaking a million alien languages and kicking Klingon asses. She is a tough soldier, almost a superwoman. Which is absolutely fine for her as a character. But this has absolutely nothing to do with "bringing out a human nature" of her partner. In fact, with her "half Klingon-half Vulcan" behavior, she would very much benefit from a partner that would bring out her own human side: she needs that. Coupled with Spock, she makes him even more "Vulcan": closed, emotionless, uptight. And yet, this is the last thing she wants from her partner: in STID we can see that Spock behaving in a totally "Vulcan", emotionless way is hurting her so much, she can't help, but spill it out during the important mission and in front of the captain! She is NOT happy. She is SO hurt, that it causes her becoming emotionally compromised and unable to behave professionally, which for her character is unthinkable: being an excellent student, her ambitions, her reputation as being the best at her job, her professionalism: all those things are EXTREMELY important for her. More than this: with her around Spock becomes weak, inactive, "less" than he's on his own: in their relationship she is always taking the initiative (no matter if it's kissing in the turbolift, or saving her from Krall: at the end, it's HER who saves HIM, not the other way around). And this is not what he really needs, regardless of what he thinks he needs. He thinks, this purging of all emotions is his answer, but as we know, he couldn't be more wrong about it, as his attempt of Kolinahr shows.

Writers are determined to keep them together because it's a heterosexual pairing that has been created, by the looks of it, only to stop spirk from happening. Unfortunately, I see absolutely no other reason for it to exist. More that this: they took the ONLY existing important female character left from the original skeleton crew and diminished her role to being "a main character's girlfriend": in many scenes that she's involved in together with Spock, the necessity of her presence as an important contribution to the plot is debatable. This pairing doesn't benefit any of the two. And it feels so artificial and "off key". Especially in comparison to Spock's progressing relationship with Jim, which is so vibrant, natural and full of life and sparks, bringing Spock's human side out naturally, helping him to balance it out with his Vulcan side, and bringing out more disciplined and responsible side in Jim, at the same time nurturing his emotional side and opened heart. They complement and balance out each other perfectly, helping them to reveal their true nature and find harmony within. they define each other. Each one grows, becomes "more" in this relationship. With Spock and Uhura it's the opposite: they diminish each other. And it doesn't really work: in every other AOS movie Spock and Uhura drift further and further apart. The fact, that writers keep pushing them together, regardless of their nature and obvious logic of how the situation is unfolding, feels painful and forced to me and looks disturbing.

[mystery-star]

The Biggest Compliment – Spock

Pairing: Spock (AOS) x gender-neutral reader

Warnings: none

Words: 3944

Please do not repost my work on other sites or platforms!

-

Of course everyone in the 23rd century knew about Starfleet. But while you were certain that you would never join them, you had not believed that you would need to work together with their Academy one day. You hadn’t known what they wanted of you, when you had been told that your designer talent was needed. First you thought they might want to have new uniforms but probably a tailor would be better for this. Then you speculated over the possibility that they wanted a new logo. Or maybe it just was something like an advertisement for new recruits or so.

The thing they needed your help with, however, turned out be a test. Well, a simulation, to be exact. They wanted to animate the whole thing new. And not just animate, as you heard also the coding hat been redone, for whatever reason. After they had shown you what the old simulation looked like, you were introduced to your co-worker; the one who had written the new coding. It was a Vulcan and you didn’t know what to think of that. Not because he was not human but because you had never seen a Vulcan ‘close-up’ but hat heard a lot of, not so good, things about their race. As it seemed, also the instructor who was showing you around didn’t seem to be a big fan of him and leant closer to you before he left you in your new office.

“Don’t mind him, he can get pretty prissy sometimes” he whispered to you before he wished you good work and then left, leaving you alone with the man you’d spend the next weeks with. You looked at him for a while and didn’t know what to say.

“May I see what you have?” he asked. It was the first time you heard his voice and you had to admit, it sounded quite good.

“What do you mean, what I have?”

“I am certain you have already prepared something” he said it with such a certainty that made you feel bad that you had, in fact, nothing.

“No?” he raised an eyebrow “Look, I literally heard what they want from me half an hour ago. Before, they only told me that they needed my as a designer and I had no idea what it was” he remained silent and you didn’t like that “All I have are a few notes. I’m sure you couldn’t have made drafts beforehand if they just called you to their office for making a new code without telling you what it was about first”

“That is not quite correct. I have asked to reprogram the test myself and therefore have arrived to the meeting sufficiently prepared” you rolled your eyes

“Well as I said, I only took a few notes during the simulation I watched”

“May I see those?” he held out his hand to you

“It’s just the basics, like what notes what it is about. Because I was told that you would tell me exactly what you need” he still didn’t move his hand, so you sighed “Fine, here you go” you pulled out your PADD and placed it on the table. Because you didn’t want to give it into his hand if he behaved like that. He had a look then pointed at the title.

“The simulation is called Kobayashi Maru, not Cobrayoshi Moru”

“Well excuse me for understanding it wrong” he didn’t reply and continued

“What do you mean by ‘good ship’?”

“The ship, this Kobayashi Maru that is in distress”

“Then please describe it accordingly

“As I said” you hissed “this are only first notes”

“Besides, I already have defined the amount of the Klingon warbirds to five, so your note that reads ‘ca. 4-5 enemy ships’ is inaccurate”

“I counted them on the screen of the simulation I watched. And apparently that wasn’t good or else you wouldn’t have reprogrammed it, right?”

“I have solely noticed inconsistencies in the coding. The animation itself was not much flawed”

“Okay” you took a deep breath “How about we sit together and you tell me exactly what you want, so that I can get working on it?”

“For now, I solely need one of the animated warbirds”

“But that’ll take hours to make. I could make a sketch in 5 minutes or so”

“I need a three-dimensional model of it”

“Well, I don’t have one right now. The only ship that I can offer you as a model of a cruise ship. Or no, maybe we also have one of a science fiction starship somewhere”

“I do not need a cruise ship or a random starship” he explained that he needed the actual ship that would be used in the simulation so that he could finetune the programmed movements with the animation.

“Good then give two hours and you’ll have a draft-model. I can still change it later on when you have calibrated it”

“Very well” he gave a nod and you sat down at the desk that had been prepared and started unpacking your stuff before you got working on some sketches. Suddenly, you noticed that someone was standing behind you and you turned around.

“Please don’t do that”

“What are you referring to?”

“Looking over my shoulder. It’s distracting. I can’t work like that” he raised an eyebrow but left you alone.

-

About half an hour later you were ready to present him your three drafts of the ships.

“I only requested one”

“Yes, but I made three versions. Drafts”

“I have not asked for drafts, especially multiple ones”

“Do you have any idea how design works? Obviously not or you’d have done the damn animation yourself” you muttered the last part “I always make drafts for a client after they told me what they need, which you didn’t even do, so sorry if I don’t get it quite right on the first try.”

“I have informed you that I need to have a model of a Klingon warbird”

“And here you have three drafts” you pointed at three models “Which one do you like best?”

“I do not like them” you had to bite back a sigh and a part of you just wanted to smack him right in the face.

“Good” you said, taking a deep breath and picking up your stylus “Then what would you like instead?”

“I would have preferred if you had invested all your time into one model instead of three”

“Look, I will put more work into one of them, just tell me which one is the best”

“They are all flawed” at least you now totally understood what this other man had meant with that he could get prissy.

“Well it are only drafts” you explained “Don’t Vulcans do drafts?”

“We do not prepare several different versions if only one is needed since it would be a waste of time”

“Good speaking of wasting time; just tell me which model you want me to edit and make it perfect”

“No matter how much work you will put in it, it will always stay an animated model and therefore will never be perfect”

“Which. Ship?!” you hissed gesturing at your PADD.

“This one” he pointed at the second draft “However….” You had to fight not to roll your eyes. Of course you knew there was a ‘but’ coming. You did your best to not become upset when he told you what mistakes you had made on your draft, while you made notes on the most important points. A part of you wondered how long you could take it before you just broke his nose, cut off his ears, ripped off his bangs or rammed your stylus in his eye. Or all together.

-

While you started to get working on the chosen model, Commander Spock took the draft to link it with his coding, while you tried to make the starship as authentic as possible which was not so easy without an accurate source or idea how it looked like except for the description you had gotten. When you left for the day, your client seemed to be a bit disappointed that you could not finish the model already. For that reason you decided to come an hour earlier the following day but to your dismay, the Vulcan was already there

“Did we not agree that you may start at 0830 hours?” you had been in the office for three seconds and already were pissed off by him again although you had tried not to be anymore.

“Yes but since I didn’t come as far as I wanted yesterday, I decided to come earlier today. The sooner I get the animation done the better” because it meant, among other, that you would be rid of him. Luckily, you didn’t need to talk to him that much today. But then he requested you to get a second model for the second ship. “Give me a second”

“I doubt you can create an accurate model in a second”

“Just watch and see” you tapped on the model you were already working on and duplicated it “there. Took me a little under two seconds”

“You cannot just duplicate the model”

“Oh but I can. I can also centuple it” you glared at him, tapped the model again, called up the settings and set the number of duplicates to 100 and when you returned, the whole screen was filled with ships “There. That should occupy you for a while”

“As I already said, there are only five ships that I need for the simulation. Besides, I cannot use these duplicates. If you wish to copy your models, you need to use a template”

“Well okay” you said “But that’ll take me a couple of minutes” he gave a nod “Why thank you, (Y/N)” you muttered to yourself “Thank you for your co-operation and withstanding my coldness”

-

Because he wanted all ships to be visually different, you decided to change minor details on them before you gave him the new model. Once you had prepared all ships, even the Kobayashi Maru, you needed to take care of the surroundings for which you designed the space, of course in the dimensions that Spock had told you. Then you set your models into it and adjusted their positions so that they more or less corresponded with the coordinates that Spock had programmed for them. When he had a look at the model he raised an eyebrow

“What now?” you asked, knowing that something did not please him at all.

“The positions of the Klingon warbirds one, three, four and five need to be adjusted slightly” At least he was now calling the ships by numbers and not the stupid model names he had given them in his code. It had taken you almost two days to get him do that and you had just written his model name onto the according ship in ugly red letters so that you knew which one he was talking about. “Move ship one 2.3 millimeters to the left and 1.8 millimeters down, ship two….”

“Woah wait… I never heard anyone saying decimals of millimeters. This model doesn’t even accept them. I can give you half millimeters but not point three or point eight. Besides, no one can actually know if the ship is perfectly aligned when they do the simulation. And if we align the weapons right they will still hit the ship if they enter the coordinates of the ship”

“I know but I wish that it is as accurate as possible. Speaking of accuracy” he explained that the surroundings were not accurate either because the constellations were wrong and did not look like this ad the place the simulation took place

“In other words you want me to fucking re-align every single star correctly?”

“It does not need to be completely accurate, yet I do ask you to adjust their positions so that it does have more similarities with the coordinates where the simulation occurs”

Well, in contrast to you I don’t have a fucking stellar map saved in my brain” he walked away and then handed you a PADD, explaining that it would turn into a 360° stellar map if you opened the correct program and entered the coordinates you wanted.

-

So you just spent the following three days on redoing the whole surroundings, this times even with micrometers as unit so that you could adjust the ships perfectly as he wanted. At times you found it easier to agree to what he wanted and have more work instead of discussing with him, which would result in you doing as he wanted anyway. You hadn’t even been able to make it clear to him that sometimes you need to be polite and say please and thank you, to which he replied that such formalities were illogical since they did not change anything about the request and that he would never say please in an order to subordinates.

Since it was a bigger project, it took up several weeks of collaboration with Spock and somehow the thing that bugged you most about working with him was the fact that you had to admit to yourself that, despite everything he did or said, your stupid, illogical heart had managed to develop romantic feelings for the Vulcan. You didn’t know if that just was because of his appearance or if it also was his almost dominating behavior that made you feel that way. One thing was for certain; the more you worked with Spock the stronger these feelings got. So, you were a little relieved when the semester started again and he wasn’t around all day but spent a great part of his time teaching classes. But at times that also brought problems because you had learnt that sometimes it was better to just ask him if he was okay with something sooner rather than later because if he wanted you to change many things about it you’d have more work later on. So you would just leave your office and go looking for him instead to show him what you had done. He had forwarded you his timetable so that you knew where to find him at which time. If you found the correct classroom, of course.

“Spock, I think I finally could make the final….”

“Can you give me three minutes?”

“Fine but then don’t complain that we’re three minutes behind in schedule” you muttered

“There is no such detailed schedule. I even do not have a fixed date on which we need to be finished but rather a time interval”

“So that means we don’t just have one more month but two in total?”

“Yes” you gave a nod

“Good then I’ll let you finish your stuff”

-

One thing you always loved about your work was to see it in action. In that case that was, when everything was finished so far that some test people could make the simulation to see how everything was working. It was mainly to test the simulation itself, to see if the coding worked but you had been asked to be there as well so that you could have an eye on the animation and make sure everything happened in life time and correctly. You were quite proud when you noticed that almost everything was working perfectly fine and that there only were a few details you had to change. As well as some details on the ships themselves because Spock still was not perfectly happy with them.

“And?” you asked after four goes at the simulation

“What do you wish to know?” Spock asked

“Well what you think of it”

“I have noticed that there are a few instances that you will need to go over” you crossed your arms

“What?” you couldn’t believe that this was his answer and to your dismay he started listing up some flaws.  “Stop” you growled, making him raise an eyebrow “I know that there are some imperfections but I’m sorry that I’m not as perfect as you”

“I never claimed that I was perfect. I am a being and all beings are flawed”

“Wow that I got you to admit that”

“To claim that I am perfect would be a lie and highly illogical”

“You and your stupid thinking in code”

“The assumption that I think in ‘code’ is not correct”

“But logical. You think logically, as a Vulcan. Coding is pure logic”

“I see, yet the conclusion is still incorrect” you sighed

“Wow, you’re never ever gonna compliment me or my work, huh?”

“It would be illogical to point out points that do not need modification anymore. Therefore I only tell what you will need to work on again”

“Well but I’m human and we sometimes need reassurance that what we did is good!”

“As you can derive from my statement, your work can be considered as good, when there is nothing that I ask you to change about it”

“You don’t get my point, do you?”

“I do but I do not think it is necessary to point…”

“Just one compliment about my work. I stood your behavior for weeks now”

“Four weeks, five days and 3.6 hours to be exact”

“See, even worse. You have to be so precise and perfectionistic every fucking time”

“However, if you had a problem with something you would have addressed it”

“No. Because humans don’t always do that. But I am complaining now”

“Very well. What do you wish me to change?”

“Well you could make just one simple compliment or something that you like about the way I work on this project” he raised an eyebrow and was silent “Or are you just as fed up with me as I’m with your behavior?”

“You work highly focused” you let out a huff

“Well at least something”

“Besides” he added a bit more quietly and after a pause “I find your hands and fingers to be pleasingly shaped and they move gracefully”

“Okay that was hella unexpected” and even a little creepy “Did you pay that much attention to my hands?”

“When you were showing me something, yes I was at certain times” you frowned. How could he still have noticed so many flaws in your work then if he had just stared onto your hands?

“That is a little weird, don’t you think?”

“No”

“No?”

“Hands hold a different value on Vulcan” he explained that their hands were extremely sensitive and often were something like a symbol of love in their culture.

“So if you told that another Vulcan… what would happen?”

“Usually, Vulcans will only compliment their bondmate’s physiology”

“Hm okay. Are bondmates something like a spouse?”

“Or what you call fiancés”

“But back to my question, what would happen?”

“I cannot say because some might react emotionally in such a situation”

“So you’re saying that you’re not acting emotionally? Like never?”

“We are sentient being so we all will act emotionally at times, whether we want it or not”

“Okay. But what do you want to do, now that you told me how much you like my hands?”

“I have never stated that I like them” you frowned

“That sounds like something is bothering you”

“It is of no consequence”

Come on, tell me. You already told me you like, no wait you… whatever, find my hands pleasing or how you’d want to formulate it. And now something is bothering you”

“I was wondering… whether you would let me touch you”

“And you ask that?” you just took his hand in yours and ran your fingers of the other hand over the back of it. His hands were softer than you had imagined but also colder. When you looked up at him, you saw a slight green blush on his cheeks and smiled “Suddenly so flustered, huh?”

“Touching hands is something rather intimate in Vulcan culture”

“Oh” you let go of him “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t know that” but maybe you could have thought about it, considering what he had told you about the meaning of hands on Vulcan.

“I did not tell you, therefore you could not know” he said “You do not need to reproach yourself” you gave a nod and were surprised when he continued “In fact, I have found it rather pleasing” you smiled. For some reason you just held out your hand to him again and he actually took it. Well not really, he more or less just traced his fore- and middle finger over your skin, making you shudder a little

“You’re right that feels nice” he raised an eyebrow and placed his other hand at your back and pulled you closer, then lifting your head and leant down until your lips were inches apart

“Do you mind?”

“Not at all” you breathed and then his lips were on yours. For some reason you could not really say what you were feeling and you wondered if it was right to do this, you were working with him after all, at least for now. Contrary to what you had imagined, he was a pretty good kisser and his fingers still were stroking yours and while you liked the feeling, you wondered if it felt even more sensual to him. When you felt him pull you closer, you thought that this probably was the case and felt yourself smiling into the kiss. You placed your free hand at the base of his neck and pressed your whole body against his. He didn’t seem to mind but some seconds later you parted, looking at each other

“Perhaps we should not have kissed”

“We should” you corrected and leant up to do it again and he responded immediately. This time, the kiss came to a more abrupt end when suddenly the door opened. You let go of each other and quickly stepped apart. While Spock turned to the visitor, one of the people that had tried out the simulation, you touched your lips which were still tingling from the kiss, making you smile

“I’m sorry, if I interrupted something or came at an inconvenient time I can just go and well… leave. We can discuss it later”

“I will be with you momentarily” Spock said and told him to go to a briefing room. You awkwardly played with the hem of your shirt, not sure what to say.

“Well, I should get working on my faulty animation then”

“It is not faulty, (Y/N)” was there a difference in how he said your name now? You had had a long time until you got him to call you (Y/N) instead of his formal for of addressing you with your surname and he had allowed you to just call him Spock in return.

“Was that just another compliment?”

“If you wish to take it as one” he replied and you gave a nod, wanting to return to your workstation, but he took hold of your wrist

“Huh?” you asked

“I do not know what humans will do after such occurrences but on Vulcan, the logical conclusion is that the two individuals will start a relationship”

“You’re asking me for a relationship?”

“If you approve of it”

“I…” you looked down but then found yourself nodding “Yes. I think so”

“Very well” you didn’t know if there was something like a tiny curl in his lip that may have been a little smile. This made you smile as well “I suppose that the discussion will take up the rest of my time at work. Would you be amendable to accompany me to dinner later?”

[lokigodofaces]

thoughts on loki ep 2: the variant (spoilers)

under cut to not disturb your scrolling

Overall I enjoyed so that's good

Uh frick my mind blanked so sorry if things are completely out of order

I don't know, I expected the renaissance fair to be 2012 or 2021 or 2024 (Loki's time, our time, current time in the "sacred timeline"). So I was genuinely surprised when it was in 1985.

Ok, i really like the title card thing. And how the year scrolls around. It's a nice aesthetic touch there.

I wonder why the female Loki variant chooses her locations? Does she have a thing for renaissance fairs, French cathedrals, and Oklahoma?

1985 is when Back to the Future came out. And it's y'know, one of the most popular time travel movies ever. So I think they chose that year as a reference.

Again, not liking that the minutemen only have numbers, not names. It is giving me lots of Clone Wars vibes. If you don't know anything about Clone Wars, the clones are given number identifiers by the Kaminoans. Things like CT-7567. The clones would give themselves names (CT-7567, for example, names himself Rex). A really good sign throughout the series that someone is a sketchy person is if they call the clones by their numbers. The clones don't want to be known as numbers. They are people too, they deserve names, so they come up with all sorts of creative names (Rex, Fives, Cody, Tup, Hevy, Hardcase, Echo, Waxer, Boil, Wolffe, Jesse, Kix, Fox, Hunter, Wrecker, Crosshair, Omega, Tech, Matchstick, etc). The jedi respect this, and the only jedi that i can think of that called clones by their numbers is Krell, who fell to the dark side. the Kaminoans and other sketchy people all call them by their numbers and the clones don't like it. A big focus of the show is on the clone's agency (at the end, they all have brain chips that take away their agency and force them to kill jedi), and how the clones need to be respected. So for me to see in another series that people are only given numbers is bad. What's worse is that the minutemen are fine with this. They don't see it as dehumanizing or belittling. They are brainwashed into being okay with it. Which says a thing or two about the Time Keepers.

did. did the renaissance fair really have Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out for a Hero" for their renaissance themed fight? Is this normal? Was it normal in the '80's? We saw later that the female Loki can do electronic stuff. Did she rig it to play it? For the vibes?

Also the stuff before the song was about fighting for a princess, and in the end she kidnaps C-20.

Okay, btw, I'm just gonna say Lady Loki for a while because no one has explicitly said Sylvie yet, so I'm going to refer to di Martino as Loki until she or another calls her Sylvie. Cool? Cool.

I was thinking the "Holding Out for a Hero" fight would be the roomba fight or something. It is such a good song that has huge potential for this genre. Why did they use it in a lame fight as that one?

When Lady Loki did the spell on C-20, it looked similar to what Wanda and Agatha can do. As in, it had similar visuals.

Loki reading a random magazine he finds while sitting with his feet on the desk bored out of his mind because he has to learn sh*t is a MOOD.

What is Miss Minutes? She can jump around anywhere, and pop into computers. But she can't be just a projection. She took the effort to dodge Loki swatting at her, so that may mean she was corporeal. She also could be something similar to the Kree's Supreme Intelligence?

So, did Mobius give Loki the shirt, tie, and slacks, but really didn't give him the jacket until they had to call him in? What? That makes no sense? Did the TVA not have any jackets with the variant label? Did someone have to custom design a jacket for Loki?

What is up with this show giving me things I wanted to see only in holographic form? First we saw Coulson's death, and now Loki in his Jotun form in a holograph of another variant.

Okay, Loki being someone the TVA has to constantly deal with is very on brand. Loki is a creature of chaos, of course he's going to unknowingly rebel against the sacred timeline.

Also, headcanon that the Jotun Loki we see is king of Jotunheim because that would be epic.

Also, for personal reasons I choose to believe there is a Loki variant that defeated the Avengers and immediately went queer rights.

Loki's reaction to there being many Loki variants. He's seen what his life is supposed to be. I think he is even more upset that the TVA often deals with him, that there are so many things that could have been instead if it weren't for the TVA and the "sacred timeline."

Also, I totally think Mobius was waiting for another Loki to show up to help him defeat Lady Loki. They get them so often, it makes sense.

Loki explaining the difference between illusion projection and duplication was great. And very helpful to me personally understanding lore. Also, Mobius, get your crap together. If you're a Loki expert, figure this stuff out.

Loki calling the TVA out on propaganda, we love that.

The wolf quote is actually very nice, I quite like it.

Okay, the TVA doesn't even bury or cremate or do any sort of ritual for their fallen minutemen, they just reset the timeline. Which to me seems like another way to show how little the TVA actually care for their workers.

There are statues of the Time Keepers in Ravonna's office. The camera pays extra attention to it. Keep reading for more about Time Keepers and cinematography choices.

What. What sort of relationship does Ravonna and Mobius have? What is going on there? I am really confused.

Who is this "analyst on the side?" What is going on there?

Ravonna is MEGA SUS. Along with that, the Time Keepers are mega sus.

She signs R. Slayer. Yeah. Slayer. Not at all subtle, Marvel. Letting us know that she'll do the deed if needed.

Mobius you are sending me mixed signals. What do you want?

Okay, Mobius saying Loki was a "cold, scared boy" and an "ice runt" and stuff was totally a jab at Loki being Jotun.

Mobius saying Loki is insecure because of Lady Loki is...probably true.

With the elevator, the camera stops and focuses on the Time Keepers.

The Creation of the TVA, the beginning of time, the end of time, all classified. That is sus.

Loki almost crying over Ragnarok was good. Let him cry over the destruction of his home.

Loki being the one to discover something the TVA had no idea about after a day is on brand for Loki. And it shows how the TVA really are vulnerable.

Mobius: Really? In front of my salad?

No but the object lesson was well done and actually did help me understand what Loki was talking about.

Casey! Casey drinks grape juice! Imagine how confusing this is for Casey though. Loki is captured, threatens to gut you like a fish (whatever that means), and now he's dressed like an analysist, stealing your juice box. Does Loki get Casey more juice?

Honestly, Loki looking at everything logically and scientifically is fantastic. Adds to the science = magic thing Marvel's got going on, since Loki is a sorcerer.

Loki saying volcanoes are cool is fun. I agree. Volcanoes mean the planet is geologically active, which means we won't die. Also, there is a volcano named Loki on one of Jupiter's moons. I wonder if the creators knew that and put Loki in Pompeii because he is already linked with volcanoes.

Mobius telling Loki to start off small and Loki completely disregarding that felt very personal to me.

Loki being absolutely chaotic and telling everyone they were going to die while speaking perfect Latin was iconic. I want more of that content. Let the man be buckwild.

Again, Loki finding something out after a day that the TVA never knew about is on brand.

"Be free, my horned friends, be free!" I love that way too much.

Mobius being obsessed with jet skis wasn't something I expected, but I'm down for it. Heck, even Loki admitted they were cool.

The discussion on beliefs is going to lead to saying the Time Keepers are bullcrap. Hopefully.

Grapes and nuts are "candy" on Asgard. So, when Loki was eating grapes in Ragnarok, we can interpret that as him eating M&Ms. Second, this might add to something I've seen around here. I've seen things about a book somewhere with Loki saying chocolate fountains are mythical (which is really funny to me). So, I guess Asgard really doesn't have chocolate.

Oh my gosh, so many apocalypses between 2047 and 2051...hopefully none of those happen in real life.

Roxxcart is probably part of Roxxon, something that has been around in Iron Man movies.

Lady Loki got the shovel thing from Roxxcart that she left in Oklahoma! The minutemen said it was from the early third millenia, which is where we are now! 2050 also fits that category!

I saw something about the file saying Class 8 hurricane...there are only 5 classes...which means this is a crazy storm.

Does B-15 want Loki dead? This is a legitimate question, because I think she does. Dead or pruned.

Loki looking around at the storm, I love it. This could be him loving science, or him missing Thor, since Thor creates storms. Also, at this point Loki probably things Thor dies shortly after him in the sacred timeline, so Loki would be particularly sentimental about Thor.

I love Loki drying himself off and not anyone else. And B-15 yelling about his magic. And Loki's motions are so fluid, it's so aesthetically pleasing, I love it.

Dudes, I thought B-15 was going to try to prune Loki when they were alone.

Okay, was Lady Loki bsing about the azalea sale, or does Roxxcart actually do that? I want to know.

Wunmi Mosaku did a really good job as Lady Loki, I loved it.

Loki being annoyed at Lady Loki and saying he understood how Thor felt, does that insinuate Loki can do what Lady Loki was doing?

B-15 and C-20 were both very shaken after being possessed by Lady Loki. I wonder how that felt for them? We've had different explanations of mind control/brainwashing/similar from Clint, Bucky, Daisy, Mack, Fitz, and Monica in the MCU (including AoS). I wonder what is specific to Lady Loki's possession.

C-20 kept going on about something being real. What was that about?

C-20 revealed the location of the Time Keepers to Lady Loki!

Lady Loki not wanting to be called Loki could be a sign she is Sylvie.

There's something weird where Loki's voice echoed around while the camera focused on Lady Loki. Maybe she's telepathic?

Someone needs to keep a tracker on people telling Loki this isn't his story in a show literally about him.

But, that does add to themes for his life, and how everything was always about someone else in his life. He was always a supporting character for Thor, for Odin, for Thanos. Now, even in his own story, everyone insists he doesn't matter.

I was wondering what the reset charges would be used for. I wasn't expecting a massive bombing of the sacred timeline! Wow! That was unexpected and I loved it!

Okay, this isn't from me, this is from New Rockstars. But to list all the places mentioned on chronomonitors, either bombed or not: Knowhere, Barcelona, Niflheim, Dartford, Phong Nha, Lisbon, Vormir, Thorton, Cookeville, Asgard, Rome, Sakaar, Barichara, Porvoo, Ego, Titan, New York City, Tokyo, Hala, Kingsport, Xandar, Beijing, Madrid, Portland, Jotunheim. Bolded are other planets. Those are almost all the planets visited in the MCU. So fun easter eggs there!

I like Lady Loki's aesthetic. The fingerless gloves, the cloak, I love it. And YES SHE ISN'T SEXUALIZED. So many genderbent characters are excuses to sexualize women. But Lady Loki is just as covered as the male Lokis.

Lady Loki just...left the time door open for Loki to follow...for a really long time...I'm worried he's running into a trap.

What is Loki going to do now?

Theory time y'alls: Lady Loki bombed the sacred timeline to flush the minutemen out of the TVA, leaving it defenseless. And she's gonna go after the Time Keepers themselves. We know she gets into the TVA from trailer footage, and that's what I think we're gonna see next episode. I think she (like the Loki we are following) is upset over the lack of free will, and she plans to change that. That's why she wasn't interested in helping Loki "take over" the TVA, because she doesn't want to become the leader of a new TVA, she wants it destroyed.

Alright, back to the Time Keepers stuff. They keep focusing on the middle Time Keeper. Even in the end credits they have a weird cut to focus directly on his face. I'm not 100% on this, but I like this theory. That face is similar to Jonathan Major's, the actor confirmed to be Kang the Conqueror in Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. Kang is a well known time travelling villain in Marvel. Maybe he is Kang, and is using variant versions of himself (that's a Kang thing in the comics) to mess with the timeline, and no one expects that from him. Also, Renslayer was his S/O for a bit in the comics, and they keep framing her in front of that one Time Keeper's face. I feel like this would be a good way to set up Quantumania and to show how sus the Time Keepers are.

Also, Loki was absolutely adorable the entire episode. And he got to sleep! Yay for him!

Again, I enjoyed, and can't wait for next week!

[waywardfacegarden]

what’s your opinion of the last few chapters of ao no flag and how they fit in with the rest of the manga? 👀 (like do you think the ending was well set-up and satisfying?)

Sorry it took me so long to reply to this!!!!!!! I absolutely flipped of happiness when I got this ask, so thank you so much for sending it!!!! I love talking about things I love, and this manga is so criminally underrated imo, but I have SO MANY THOUGHTS!!! It’s nice having an excuse to rant about it, lol. Also, feel more than free to rant about this question, too, I would love to hear your opinion!!!

Here goes my way-too-long reply under the cut:

To be honest, I have a lot of thoughts about this manga but I’m too bad at expressing myself and articulating my opinions in a coherent way, so this is probably going to be pretty incoherent ajsdlashfldsf, my apologies in advance.

First of all, I have to state that I really like the ending!!!!!!! I totally understand that some people say it was rushed, but it wasn’t like that for me. At least, not in a way that made me feel like I wasted my time reading it.

As for the whole Futaba/Taichi breaking up and Touma/Taichi being endgame, I absolutely loved it. Don’t get me wrong, I would have loved to have more context and background about how Taichi and Touma got together (and if the author decided to do a short spin-off about some moments between that time skip, I’d read it in a flash), but I also like the myriad of possibilities you can play with in your mind of how that happened. I like the open aspect of it. Also, I really, really, really, really loved Futaba and Taichi’s relationship, and I have to admit that when I read that “two years later... I broke up with Futaba” line, my jaw dropped LOL. I had to pause my reading for a couple of minutes to fully process it, if I’m honest. Not to say I hated it, but it did hurt me that they broke up LOOL. However, I also found it... realistic? It’s not like Futaba and Taichi’s relationship was bad or that at some point I thought “this is due to end at some point, I don’t think they’re going to last forever together”... it’s just that I liked... how it was handled? If that makes sense. Yeah, it was pretty simplistic, and I know some people say that it was out of nowhere and that the author didn’t even care to explain why it happened with that “sorry explanation”, but I really liked it.

I checked up the exact lines in my translation so i wouldn’t mess it up, lol, and here it is: “There wasn’t an interesting story behind it. People might ask why... or say what they would’ve done in our place... not understanding the little decisions we made. But... we decided to go our own ways... not to match the shapes set forth by others, but for our own shapes of happiness.” 

I love it. All the manga is a wholesome, pretty realistic (in my opinion) way to show the teenage years, the coming-on-age, the “have to take/make decisions that will affect your future” and the whole mess that is... feelings and the complexity of relationships. I like how, when Taichi is explaining it, he says that there isn’t something dramatic or big that lead to it. It probably was a bunch of things, and maybe the outcome wouldn’t be what other people would have done, but it was their decision, it was what made them happy. He makes it clear. I especially love it because:

1) It’s pretty normal. Relationships don’t always work. It doesn’t have to be because of something big, either. People change over time, take different decisions that, in consequence, lead to change in dynamics/relationships. That’s life. It’s always, constantly changing. I’m not the same person I was five years ago, and I doubt I will be exactly the same five years from now pn to the future. That doesn’t mean that if you’re in a relationship now and you both start changing that it won’t work, it’s just that sometimes it doesn’t. And that’s normal. It’s pretty simple but also real, in my opinion. He clearly states that other people probably wouldn’t understand the little decisions they made, but it happened. Which, again, realistic imo.

2) I love how he says “we decided to go our own ways, not to match the shapes set forth by others, but for our own shapes of happiness”. Why? Because it leads back to the repeated theme of the story of “what is your happiness right now”. Basically, I think the main topic/message by the end was how Taichi took the decisions--and how people in general irl make decisions--because that’s what made him happy in that moment. You don’t always know if you’re making the right decisions, but at the end of the day, you’re always chasing your happiness. So, I like how that theme played there as well. They took that decision to chase after their own shapes of happiness, not wanting to chase after what someone else think that would made them happy, but what they themselves thought that did.

I also love how he states that it wasn’t easy. Futaba was an important person in his life. She helped him change, she shaped a lot of who he was by the end of the time-skip, so of course it would be hard to break up. It wasn’t like she would die or something, but it was a big change. Even if it was a decision that was took for the best (at least for them), of course it was going to be hard for him, and I like that it was stated. I also love how Touma was the one who made them connect again, really an amazing touch and, again, one of the things I loved about Ao No Flag, and how the main love triangle wasn’t toxic at all. He knew both of them were important for the other, and I love that he was the one who helped them get in touch again. I also love how Touma was still in touch with Futaba and Masumi and that Futaba and Taichi reconnect again.

So all in all, I think Futaba and Taichi’s broke up was realistic. It’s true that just because you have a relationship in your teenage years it doesn’t have to end when you grow older, but a lot of times, it happens. That’s the complexity of liking/loving someone over the years and relationships/feelings in general. So I don’t think it was that out of place? As much as people like to complain, because, true, you usually have this endgame pairing at the end of the story and you, of course, assume everything is going to be happily ever after for them (or, like, as happy as it can get with its highs and lows) and they will stick together... this is also a realistic possiblity/outcome? It’s pretty uncommon in a story, and I understand that people thought that the manga took the route of focusing “way too much on Futaba/Taichi’s romantic development to just throw it by the end” but I don’t think the story itself was just that. The story, for me, was more than just Futaba and Taichi’s “romantic development”. And everything that happened, and how each other changed the other’s life was so meaningful for me even if they didn’t end up together. I love how they breaking up doesn’t change any of that.

Also, I don’t think Taichi’s romantic feelings for Touma were “our of nowhere”? OF COURSE, I would have loved to have a Taichi’s explicit realization of “oh, I love Touma like that” or “oh, he’s more than just a best friend for me/this is more than just platonic love”. But... Idk, this is probably just because I’m bi, so I’m probably biased (LOL), but I never thought of Taichi as other than bisexual? This is just my perspective, but I feel like there were hints everywhere in the manga that he felt strongly about Touma, and yeah, you can say that it was just platonic love, but even if he didn’t feel romantic feelings for him in his teenage years (which, I personally think he kind of had a crush on him when they were younger), he very well could have had developed them later. I know a lot of people irl that have known each other for years and never felt any slight romantic attraction to each other and then years later they started talking more, etc. and started liking each other. It can happen. More so if you’re already close? Of course I would have loved to have more explicit moments, but I feel like the author A) decided that Taichi would develop romantic attraction/feelings only later (in that time skip) or B) did want to include more but wasn’t allowed to because shounen genre. This is just my opinion, of course. But, yeah. I think it was already hard to make that ending happen (main reason of why I think it wasn’t THAT explicit either that it was Touma/Taichi and why the author didn’t show Touma’s face), and that they showed a lot of subtle moments of Taichi’s deep feelings respecting Touma around the story. I really, really, really, absolutely loved Taichi’s turmoil/conflict by the end after Touma confessed to him. Raw, realistic, emotional, deep... I love everything about it. I always cry like a baby when he reads the message inside the charm of “best friend power”, I tell you. I have that panel of him crying and smiling saved in my phone because I’m a fucking masochist aksdjlsdfjk. IT BREAKS ME. Everything about him breaking down, too, with that dream, throwing things in his room, EVERYTHING about his turmoil felt incredibly crude and real to me. Never ever fails to make me cry. And I really liked how he did thought a lot about his feelings and what he wanted and what Touma felt, instead of just going “no, I accept his feelings and I love him, but not in that way. Not like Futaba”. Of course, by the end (before the time-skip), that’s basically what he tells him, but I liked how it didn’t only went with that without showing all of Taichi’s inner conflict.

As a bonus, two more things about the final final chapter:

1) I’m assuming this, but I think I’m right, haha: I really, seriously love how the author knew the ending was going to be controversial and threw some lines that made it seem like (for me, at least) “I get it, most of you won’t get it but I’m fine with this ending myself”. With the whole “Friend or lover? Which will it be?” poster thing, Taichi’s comment about the ending like “the characters’ final decisions didn’t sit well with me”, the “oh, but then again... form someone’s else point of view, my decisions might also seem...” (ASJDLDSFJ it’s like the author is saying, ‘ahaha, yeah, ik, you might not get this, ik’, and I find it so incredibly endearing and satisfying and funny? I absolutely love it when authors make subtle mentions to their [probably] controversial/uncommon/or even cliché decisions in their own story).

2) I absolutely love the final panels of the chapters because they always manage to make me cry my eyes out? The simple but oh so realistic that I absolutely die for line of “life is a series of choices. Even if you pick, hoping for the best... You might hurt someone, or yourself, and regret it. And even if, you do gain happiness, you might be afraid of the next choice that comes, because you don’t want to lose it. Nevertheless, we continue to make choices forever. That’s why I pray that... the future that lies beyond this myriad of choices...” GAH, I LOVE IT. It’s so painfully real; and just... the underlying beauty of the hopeful open ending of the line, too? -- Also, the “hey, if it were you...” followed by the “haha, you’re so annoying!” panel of TAICHI SMILING AND LAUGHING SO FREAKING HAPPY, LIKE THAT’S EVERYTHING I WANTED FOR HIM, Y E AH. IT MAKES ME SO GODDAMN EMOTIONAL. AND TH EN, THE FOLLOWING PANELS, FUTABA BEING SO HAPPY WITH HER HUSBAND, MASUMI AND HER PARTNER, AGHHHHHHH, MY GODDAMN HEART, THEY’RE SO HAPPY AS WELL AND THAT’S EVERYTHING I NEEDED, AND AND AND THEIR CLASSMATES ALL HAPPY AND GOING ON WITH THEIR LIFES, AND THE FUCKING. ENDEARING, LOVELY DOMESTICY OF THAT LAST DIALOGUE OF TAICHI BEFORE THE “let’s go home”, thE FUCKI N G R I N G, I SCR E AMED (like i knew they were married, or i THOUGHT so before -- buT BU TT B UUU T AAAAAAAA), AND ALSO THAT PANEL OF TAICHI IS ONE OF THE BEST, MOST BEAUTIFUL, HEARTWARMING PANELS I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE?????????????????????????? The way he looks so goddamn SOFT and SO FOND and the way he’s just in the middle and focus on the panel, like it’s everything Touma sees, and and and just how HAPPY TAICHI LOOKS, and the way the hand kind of... “goes out” of the panel, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WHEN AUTHORS DO THAT IN IMPORTANT SCENES, AND THEN THE LINKED HANDS????????????????? BR O. I seriously was crying my eyes out. It was absolutely breathtakingly beautiful for me.

SO YEAH. All in all, I was satisfied! Of course, I would’ve loved more of Touma and Taichi’s explicit romantic development, and I understand that people felt the ending was rushed. But for me, the manga was more than just... couples and endgames, you know? The manga itself was so beautiful and wholesome and it had so many good points that the ending just felt like a beautiful closure and, at the same time, a hopeful, amazingly beautiful and touching opening for more of this heartwarming, real, so beautiful coming-of-age story. I think it matches with the tone of the rest of the manga of chasing your happiness and making the decisions that sit best for you and for what you want, even if others don’t understand. I think it matches with the theme of how complex and beautifully amazing relationships and feelings are. I think it suits with the beauty of the manga in general.

And in conclusion, I’m going to show you a pic of this comment on reddit (of a discussion of the ending) that pretty much sums up what I think and said in this:

[totallypathet]

Episode Seven

I am being very inconsistent with my breakdowns this season. Both with Drag Race and in general 😂

Anyway, the reading challenge! We love the reading challenge. Nearly everyone had at least 1 good roast, except for Miss Elliott. I dont know what she was trying to do, but none of it worked. On the plus side though, Gottmik was hilarious? I just wasn't expecting that from her, but I love it. Honestly though I think my favourite was Olivia Lux's "Kandy Ho...wait, I mean Kandy is a hoe" that was so funny! Rosé and Denali were also really funny, but I kind of loved everyone else's reads for Rosé, I feel like she brought out the best in people 😂

I wasn't super excited for Bossy Rossy to come back. I just think improv is *so* hard, and it's really easy to be tripped up. Having said that, I actually really enjoyed this episode. I felt like all the scenarios were just so ridiculous that actually it worked in everyone's favour.

1. Denali

Denali was so funny this week! I was not expecting physical comedy from her and Rosé, but they absolutely killed it. The outfits and the voices were properly giving me Jerry Springer, and omg PREGNANTE just killed me! They were actually genuinely funny!

And her look this week...I actually gasped when she turned the corner. It was such a beautiful look, and I really felt that like grand chandelier thing she was going for. I loved it, and I think Denali should have been top 3 this week instead of Kandy. The judges are sleeping on Denali and I don't get it. I think she's great!

2. Elliott with Two Ts

I barely even want to talk about Elliott this week. Nothing she did was funny. Nothing she did this week was enjoyable. She was bad in the sketch. The runway look was ugly and tacky. I'm bored. She wasn't even that good in the lipsync, I do not understand why she's still there.

I mean, I feel for her with her struggle with depression, that's really hard, and I know that it does isolate you from people, and I understand why she's been very detached from the rest of the cast. I feel for her, and I really hope she has a good support system around her; but her performance this week (and every other week) was still bad.

3. Gottmik

Gottmik was actually so funny this week. She really was that like soft spoken, condescending, hand gestures, "active listening" faux-psychologist; I loved it. I really bought the character, I thought she was funny, she worked really well with Olivia, and also that look? The pink suit? Amazing. Also she had so many little throwaway mime one liners that were so clever! She was kind of unfortunate in that Olivia was really the standout performer in that group, and that other groups also performed really well, because I think she was a real contender for top 3 this week.

I looooved Gottmik's runway. The big anal bead hair piece? Amazing. And the dress being all that one colour, but with the texture of the beads and the latex? Perfect. And the way she painted her face! I just loved it, it was beads in a really unconventional way, and I love that about Gottmik, she always brings her perspective. The only thing, and it is such a teeny tiny thing, is that I wish the shoes had had more of a "round" feeling? Like everything else felt like latex balls and then the shoes were just like red pumps. I wish they'd been more like those McQueen heels Gaga wore, that were really rounded? It's such a small thing though, like the look was perfect, I'm just being super picky!

4. Kandy Muse

I dont really understand why Kandy was top 3 this week. I do like that she tried something different, and I like that she was aiming for this very cold, Paris Hilton type thing, but I just don't think she went far enough with it. The sketch as a whole was funny, but for me the humour came from Symone.

The look this week though. Kandy Muse has never looked better. She looked amazing! That big hat, with the big fur stole, and the beads just dripping off everything, it was so perfect. I just loved it.

5. Lala Ri

I actually don't think Lala was that bad this week! Was she utterly hilarious in her performance? No, but improv is hard, and she gave it her absolute best. I actually thought she was pretty funny, I loved the pregnancy belly being totally the wrong skin colour, I thought the trust fall thing was a really funny idea, I dont think she did too badly! Also, there was a moment right before the trust fall where she was counting Rosé in, and she just went "one, FALL", and that was so much funnier than they gave it credit for. For me, it was a safe performance.

I also really liked her look! It immediately gave me beads, I loved the kind of carnivale presentation she gave, I enjoyed it! Okay, the body suit had a rip in it, but sometimes shit happens when you're putting on a garment okay? I forgive the rip. I do get that, okay, it's a body suit with basically a beaded bikini, I see that. But honestly, I just don't think anything Lala did this week was THAT bad. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. I just felt safe to me.

Lala didn't deserve to go this week. She was better than Elliott in the challenge, her runway look was better than Eliott's, and she beat Elliott in the lipsync. I do not understand the judging on this show. Bottom 2 should have been Utica and Elliott, and Elliott should have gone.

6. Olivia Lux

Olivia made me so happy this week. I mean, she makes me happy every week, I am fully an Olivia Stan, but oh my god. She killed it this week! She said like 3 words the whole time, but I could barely take my eyes off her! When they were talking through parts in the work room, I was ao worried about her, and I was so concerned that she'd fade into the background because she couldn't talk, but holy shit she was so funny! She had the energy, she went so over the top with her actions, I was not at all expecting that slapstick type funny from her but she delivered. Olivia's performance was absolutely my favourite this week, I was just so blown away by her.

Also, that runway look was amazing! I loved her interpretation of beads, it was so cute, and so fun, and she really embodied that kind of pre-teen joy and care-free spirit. I just loved it. It seems like she's worked a lot with Mondo Guerra on her runway looks this season, which I live, because I adore Mondo, and every week I can't wait to see what she's wearing!

7. Rosé

I was really impressed with Rosé! Her and Denali were so funny together, and Rosé in particular was really funny with "Jared", like she never forgot that there was meant to be an invisible boyfriend next to her; she was holding his hand, she looked at him like he was really there, it was amazing. I was genuinely really impressed with Rosé this week.

Where I felt like she fell down a little bit was with her runway. Was it cute? Absolutely. Was it amazing? No. It just didn't give me anything, I didn't get a story, or a character, or a feeling, it was just "oh, that looks good". Which is fine, but it doesn't win challenges, you know?

8. Symone

Deboooorah! I loved Symone this week. I actually loved that their sketch wasn't massive high energy and screaming and yelling, because that wasn't the characters they were given. They did such an amazing job of being the child stars crying on Oprah's sofa type characters, and I actually loved it. Also, the candle thing was hysterical, Symone holding a candle that says "desperation" and crying was just so funny to me. She absolutely sold me the character, I was really getting a Real Housewives moment where they're like "I'm starting my own business where I'm going to make my own candles!" And then they get really emotional about it. I loved it so much, she was hilarious this week.

And Symone's look! My flatmate and I were literally applauding in our front room. It was perfect. It was beautifully made, all the proportions were perfect, the colour palette was gorgeous, the attention to detail was everything, I loved it so much. AND SHE HAD HER NAME IN HER HAIR! The beads in her hair spelled out SYMONE. Everything about it was perfect.

I really couldn't pick this week whether Symone or Olivia was going to win, and honestly I didn't mind either way. They were both just so incredible.

9. Tina Burner

You guys. I am bored of Tina Burner. I can't believe I'm saying it either. But she walked in being really like campy and fun, and then just sort of flatlined. I didn't think she was that funny this week. Even next to Elliott, the least funny queen in the whole line up, she didn't seem like the funny one. I am disappointed. The only bit of their sketch that was funny was them fighting with the huge ass and tits. That was just so ridiculous that it was funny.

I'll tell you what else, I've already forgotten what she wore on the runway. I watched this episode less than 24 hours ago, and yet I've got to go back and watch it again so I remember Tina. And then I remembered why it didn't stick in my mind. I don't know what she was thinking but...she's lucky the judges liked her challenge performance. Also, it looked like a worse version of Crystal Methyd's entrance look with some beads stuck on. Didn't get it, didnt like it, still waiting for Tina to wear something good on the runway.

The one thing I will say about Tina this week is that we really saw her be a human with Elliott, and I really loved that. That was the first time this season that I've really liked Tina. I appreciate that she gave Elliott that pep talk, and that she said that thing in her confessional about being a bit judgmental and feeling guilty about it, I really appreciated that, and I feel like we saw a real person. I want more of that!

10. Utica

Utica... I don't think she's long for this competition, I'm afraid. She literally started this week saying she's a scene stealer, and she does improv regularly, and she was really excited for this challenge...what happened? I was lost, during her whole performance. First of all, she was supposed to be Olivia's mum, hadn't seen her for 20 years, but she came out looking like a 19 year old? I think she was aiming for that like "mutton dressed as lamb" type look, those mom's who are like "me and my daughter always get confused for sisters!" thing, but she didn't go far enough with it. It just didn't work. And then the Starbucks thing? Didn't get that either. The one thing I will give her is I loved that she shushed Olivia when Olivia was like copying the hand gestures in a really mocking way, I thought that was so funny. But other than that... Utica should have been lipsyncing this week, honestly. She wasn't funny. Where were the jokes??

The only things that saved her this week was the look. It was stunning. I dont really know what else to say about it, because it was just gorgeous. It was beautiful, but a bit twisted and freaky, and tragic all in one. Stunning.

The other thing I want to say about this week is that moment when they were doing makeup, and Kandy was being Maury, and Lala was running around the workroom having just been told Tina was not the father of her children, followed by Mik the camera operator and Elliott the sound tech? Hilarious. That was the funniest bit of the whole episode, I was creasing 👌👌

For me, the top 2 of the season are Olivia and Symone. I've thought that since the very first episode, and honestly, the others are great (mostly), but to me they just aren't on the same level as Olivia and Symone. They're just both amazing, they're so funny, and so talented, and incredible performers, and absolute Stars on the runway.

[fuckyeahspones]

It’s so fun to read everyone’s answers to these questions! Thanks for putting this together.

How did you start shipping Spones (brotp or otp, either is fine!)

I started shipping spones a few episodes into season 1 when I was watching spirk fanvids on youtube and came across this video (Kirk/Spock/McCoy | Unfaithful): https://youtu.be/2nAmEwIooZ8

I watched half of it and got too sad at the concept of McCoy being sad, realized I was in danger of liking spock/mccoy more than spock/kirk and then went looking for more spock/mccoy fanvids, specifically TOS content since I hadn’t watched AOS yet. I mostly ship AOS spones because I came into AOS having already gotten into TOS spones.

Why did you ship them?

I don’t know exactly, I think their relationship is really interesting. I think they care a bout each other a lot but don’t always know how to deal with that and they don’t always approach problems from the same perspective. I like how they work together and I love the moments where the strength of their relationship is made clear. The katra sharing is also extremely compelling.

What are the some of the reasons you like Spock as a character?

I think Spock’s in a really interesting position as a person and in his career. I like watching him be good at things, and I like how he struggles to balance showing his caring about people with being generally reserved. He’s also funny.

And McCoy?

McCoy is my favorite character in the series, as much as I love the other characters too. Like Spock, I like watching him be good at things, he’s also funny, he’s often in positions where he’s dealing with a slightly different dilemma than Kirk and Spock and I think that makes his parts of the episodes really interesting. 

Some of your fave things about liking Spones: tropes, fics, headcanons, etc?

There’s a ton of amazing spones fic and I’m thrilled that there’s an active community still talking about them! It’s wonderful to have people to share ideas with. I started making online friends through spones fandom so that’s very special to me. I think they have so much potential as a pairing to fit with such a range of interpretations of canon and tropes and AUs and things like that. Platonic or not I just love the idea of the two of them (three including Jim but mcspirk is a separate topic :P) finding each other and being such important pieces of each other’s lives for so many years.

Thank you! I had fun trying to figure out the right questions to put for this weekend because I wanted it to be easy to answer, things that would connect people, but also not alienate others because well. Not everyone has good associations with Valentine’s Day and I didn’t want to bring any notions to go with it.

I love how many of us, including myself, just accidentally stumbled upon this ship. It’s like ‘oh, now this is a thing for us??’ and it’s quite amusing. Though through a fanvid is VERY new but also the amazing power of those fanvid creators making you feel FEELS with their amazing editing and song choices! Props to them! Video editing is HARD.

Your reasons for shipping them are similar to my own along with why you like Spock and McCoy. They’re just so fascinating, to quote Spock lol.

There truly is such amazing Spones fic out there and the community has been wonderful and it’s still nice to see it being active! I’m glad you’ve made friends in this community -- I have, and some of them are now some of the closest, dearest friends I have. And you are TOTALLY right about the potential of all those ideas in fic -- this fandom has I think only started to scratch the surface for what can be explored in fic and art that other pairings have already had a chance to do.

And VERY MUCH YES on the idea of them finding each other and being such an important part of each other’s lives for so many years! Even if it’s just in a platonic sense, the idea of having a person with such a lasting, long, close friendship is amazing -- even when all others have gone.

(Ahhh, mcspirk, also a great ship, but that is another topic all together lol glad to see more multishippers show up.)

If y’all are interested in OnlySlightlyObsessed1′s work, check it out on AO3 here!

[ We’re doing a Spock & McCoy appreciation weekend, so send your answers to these questions or anything related you’d like to send! ]

[masquerade-story]

Chapter 1 - Moving In

"Whose dumb idea was it to go camping like this anyway?" Grey grumbled, smacking away a tree branch that seemed determined to get friendly with his face.

Walking behind him, his twin sister Lillian rolled her eyes and poked the small of her brother's back. "Yours. It was your idea."

"Oh please Crystal! Please oh please might we go live at the haunted house in the woods where we'll certainly perish! I, Dorian Grey Duvall, swear on my sister's honor to let you protect me!" Rayne fluttered her eyelashes, lowering her voice to sound more like Dorian. She yanked the handcart she was dragging over a set of roots, careful to steady its contents before resuming her walk.

"Has to swear on my honor cuz he doesn't have any of his own left after the last time," Lillian snickered, while Grey pointedly ignored their teasing and continued clearing the overgrown path.

Bringing up the rear with a digital camera trained on everyone's back, Crystal grinned and panned the camera to take in the large, dense trees, and huge, leafy bushes. "For a haunted forest, it's actually pretty nice here. Ah, more meadow rue! Specifically thalictrum rochebrunianum, neat."

"Gesundheit," Rayne said, eliciting giggles from the group.

"The lacy one over there with the purple flowers," Crystal clarified. "There's some rue anemone and meadow rue 'splendide' around here too. Don't touch the white flowery plant up ahead by the way, it's giant hogweed. The leaves and sap can give you phytophotodermatitis, making you blister up in the sun."

"Bro, how do you remember any of this? And as for you, you're a scary bitch," Grey cringed away from the plant in question while swearing at it, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at its pretty little flower clusters.

"I read a lot."

"Me too, doesn't mean I absorb any of it! I spent like six hours on Wikipedia the other day, don't even fully remember what I looked up."

"Was it about The Hobbit or Merlin? Cuz that's all you ever look up."

"Look, Lils. I know I'm walking in the front and all, but you don't need to stab me in the back like that. Also sometimes it's Pacific Rim, thank you very much."

"Was it Pacific Rim?"

"No it was The Hobbit."

The group talking and laughing were the self-proclaimed 'Fairy Rock' band Aos Sí Echtrae. Each of them wore a hiking backpack containing personal items, while Rayne also tugged along a sturdy handcart holding supplies and instruments with ease - a drum kit, harp, bouzouki, and keyboard piled up alongside some smaller instruments and the camping stuff Crystal insisted they bring along.

Though their banter was light-hearted and comfortable, they took their excursion very seriously. After all, they'd temporarily rented a locally infamous haunted house to use for a music video! It was a large investment, but they'd become popular online and had enough supporters that they were able to fulfill one of their member's dearest dreams.

Dorian Duvall, or Grey as he preferred to be called by friends, and his twin sister Lillian Duvall played bouzouki and keyboard respectively. Both had the same willowy stature, button nose and almond eye shape, but despite their similarities they both gave off very different impressions. Where Lillian looked soft and gentle, with large doe-like green eyes, and a kind smile, Grey had a mischievous glint in his hazel eyes and a roguish grin that he utilized with careless abandon. Lillian wore her sleek black hair long and loose, falling down past her waist and kept away from her face by a cloth headband, while Grey wore his hair in a high ponytail decorated with small braids.

As the one who absolutely loved haunted houses and anything spooky, it was Grey's idea to film on location for their new Halloween-themed album, Masquerade. Though it was the middle of July, they were hoping to get everything ready for an September promotional release before the album dropped in October, and so hurriedly set up for their video shoot in order to give themselves plenty of time for editing.

All four of them worked together to compose their music, write lyrics, and design stage costumes as well as fan merchandise. They also lacked anything resembling a lead vocalist, taking turns depending on what sound worked best with each song, and preferring harmonies rather than solos.

"Ray! There's a log up here!" Grey called out suddenly, kicking the fallen tree blocking their path. Rayne grunted acknowledgment, and shuffled around Lillian to help move the obstruction.

Rayne Rose played the drums, and also did a majority of the heavy lifting due to being the strongest person present in any room that didn't involve professional weightlifters. Her muscular arms were covered with watercolor flower tattoos, which she proudly showed off by refusing to wear any shirt with sleeves. Her curly hair, dyed a gradient of aqua blue and purple, was cropped close to her face for summertime weather. The short style purposefully revealed ear gauges and more than a dozen total ear piercings, matching the many piercings on her brows, lips, and nose.

The twins had fresh yet roguish charms, while Rayne had a more heroic air with heavy brows and an intense black gaze over lips naturally curved into an amused smirk. She dusted off her hands after tossing the log aside with little effort, while Grey panted for breath from the exertion of merely helping her lift it. Crystal, for her part, made sure to get the whole thing on video for future blackmail purposes.

Crystal Rose, Rayne's older sister, played the harp. Unlike her athletic and statuesque sister, Crystal was on the soft and plump side. Her long, wavy blonde hair was pulled back into a messy twist to keep it off her neck, the ends still pink from the last time she dyed it. Her face was round and childish, with bluish gray eyes above an upturned nose and broad cheekbones, unremarkable features made more charming by her innate overwhelming charisma and natural exuberance.

She was the kind of person that random strangers would strike up a conversation with, lost kids would try to hold her hand, wild animals would approach like an old friend, and when she raised her voice even the most crowded room would quiet down. She was also the kind of person who got carded when buying alcohol despite being thirty years of age, due to what Grey dubbed 'Acute Babyface Syndrome'.

"Anyone need to clean their glasses?" Crystal asked, pulling a cloth from her pocket to swipe hers clean. Aside from Rayne, who wore her contacts, Grey and Lillian both opted to wear glasses for the hike so they wouldn't have to worry about losing a contact forever if they tripped - a serious and ever-present concern for the slightly clumsy twins.

"I'm good!"

"Not yet, thanks."

"I'll take it," Rayne said, keeping her expression blank, and Crystal narrowed her eyes.

"If you wipe your sweaty face with the glasses cloth I'll push you into the patch of poison ivy over there."

"Ope, nevermind then."

The haunted house was a thirty minute hike from the nearest road, along a mostly uphill path that hardly anyone ever used and certainly wasn't wide or steady enough for any automobiles. By the time they reached the stone fence encircling the house's enormous overgrown yard, everyone except Rayne was ready to collapse.

"I'm gonna be so in shape after this if my binder doesn't kill me first," Grey wheezed, leaning on the stone fence and looking up at the haunted house of his dreams with a longing yet exhausted expression. It stood atop a hill in the distance, surrounded by several acres worth of mostly empty property speckled by a few large trees and scraggly bushes. Behind it was a small barn, a chicken coop that hadn't seen use in ages, and a greenhouse conspicuously lacking anything actually green. "A stone brick cottage in the middle of the woods overgrown by vines, a sagging peaked roof with exposed beams, and gaping windows whose panes are cracked like spiderwebs... Looks spooky enough! If the door doesn't creak ominously when we open it, I'm filing a complaint."

Rayne pulled the handcart into the yard, then glanced over her shoulder at Crystal, who was panning the camera up to take a wide shot of the house from just inside the fence gate. "How's it feel, Coco?"

Crystal frowned, furrowing her brows. All four of them believed in the supernatural after they all experienced several strange circumstances growing up, and Crystal had long proven to have abilities that most people would've considered fake nonsense.

She kept a dream diary after experiencing incidents where she'd dream events before they occurred, and wanted to prove to herself it wasn't a figment of her imagination. Whenever something weird happened, she was the first to alert everyone and get them away from danger before anything bad happened, and had an uncanny sense of whether people were lying.

"Hard to say. It does feel... Weird. The walk through the whole forest was fine, but as soon as I walked into the yard... The air's different."

"Really?" Grey raised his eyebrows, hopping over the fence and holding out his arms. He was the second most sensitive to any external oddities, with a particular penchant for finding rather nasty unexplained phenomena. After a few seconds he frowned as well. "No, yeah. That's a weird vibe for sure. It's like, the forest was fine and funky fresh, then you get over here and it's..."

"Musty," Crystal and Grey finished at the same time, and exchanged wry smiles.

"Could be trepidation from perceived fears," Lillian pointed out, gesturing toward the house. Though she also believed in the supernatural, Lillian also liked trying to find reasonable explanations before resorting to the occult. "The big empty windows feel eerie because people expect houses to be brighter and look more lived in, right? It's possible it's just a subconscious response to an old, dilapidated building."

"Dilapidated..." Rayne muttered, raising her eyebrows as she surveyed the house. She had a sensitivity to people's emotions and motivations, and could sometimes pick up lingering feelings from objects, but she didn't feel anything in particular coming from the building. "I don't think it looks that bad? We've lived in worse."

"It hurts me, physically, every time you and Crystal tell us about that kind of thing," Lillian sighed, patting her hand over her heart while Grey nodded next to her. "This place looks gross! It's horrible to imagine little Ray and little Coco in a place even worse than this..."

"Hey, they hired someone to clean the inside and arrange some basic furniture for us to use," Grey said. "It won't be fancy, but the interior shouldn't be too gross! And we'll sleep in the same room for safety! After all... This is the Corpse Consuming Cottage!"

"Ugh, that name..." Crystal and Rayne both cringed at the same time, while Lillian's eyebrows shot up.

"Wait, it's called what?!"

"Yup! Bad, right? But it's earned the name cuz of how many people have gone missing here. Poof! Gone without a trace! Every single person who's ever bought this place has disappeared, along with any family they brought along." Grey grinned, wiggling his fingers at his suddenly horrified twin. "I even made a spooky spreadsheet citing all my sources, aren't you proud? It's legit, this place is either hella haunted or hella cursed."

"Will we be okay!?" Lillian muttered, color draining from her cheeks.

"There's a loophole," Rayne said, and Crystal nodded.

"Yeah, we didn't buy the house. We're just renting. Supernatural stories are always big sticklers on rules, right? Chanting something three times, turning a certain way, walking a certain pattern. If buying the house is part of the problem, then renting it shouldn't be counted as the same thing because possession isn't being transferred." Crystal turned the camera to zoom in on poor Lillian's pale face, hiding her mischievous grin behind the lens. "Theoretically."

"Don't even pretend you aren't absolutely terrified too, Miss I Can't Go On The Haunted House Ride At The Amusement Park I Have A Doctor's Note," Grey scoffed.

"I don't like ghosts or wraiths or poltergeists or whatever wicked whatsits terrorize the night because I feel bad for them thanks very much, but..." Crystal glanced over at the house and frowned, furrowing her brow again. "I feel bothered but not... Threatened? Like there's something here watching but it won't hurt us."

"That's as good as a gold star to me. Let's crack this bitch open and make some lunch!" With renewed vigor, Grey fished the key from his shorts pocket and ran up the creaky old porch to the front door. "Come on in, it's nice and cool inside! Comparatively speaking, I don't think there's an air conditioner. Just fans. But it'll be clean!"

Like he'd promised, the interior was cleaner than the exterior condition belied. Furniture was sparse, but they were all fine wood antiques with a hand-polished sheen. Everyone dropped their backpacks in the foyer and stretched for a moment before getting to work.

"Water's on!" Grey called from the kitchen, where he set the tap to run. "There's dishes and cookware in here too!"

"Silverware?" Lillian called back, in the middle of helping Crystal and Rayne unload the handcart.

"Yup, as requested! I think they're all antique like the rest of everything here."

"Don't you dare break any antique dishes, Dorian Grey!"

"No promises!"

"Electricity works," Crystal said with some surprise, flicking a nearby switch after setting her harp case on the floor in the living room, alongside a towering pile of boxes holding personal things they'd had delivered via the realtor. She held her breath to listen for any crackles or pops, but the overhead light didn't give so much as a flicker. "Wires might actually be okay? That's surprising, this house is really old. Must've been recently renovated."

"Probably to try and reel in prospective buyers," Rayne said, setting down three drum cases. The rest of her kit was already unloaded, so she took a moment to glance around the living room with Crystal. "Inside looks much nicer than outside."

"We can make it look spookier with filters and editing," Crystal said, running her finger against the windowsill. When it came up without dust, she furrowed her brows. "They were real thorough cleaning this place."

"Found the terrifying cellar!" Grey's faint muffled cry echoed from somewhere in the house, followed by the sound of Lillian shouting his full name and charging off after him.

"Any cold spots?" Crystal shouted down the stairs after circling the entire bottom floor trying to find them. The cellar door was tucked into the kitchen's pantry, which was a full walk-in room rather than a little cabinet.

Since the house was so far from town, part of the rental contract involved the current real estate agent making sure the kitchen was stocked before tenants took over. All the shelves were packed full with newly purchased dry goods and spices, mostly sorted into pretty glass jars for aesthetic appeal.

"No cold spots, just some nice shelving, big old ground freezer and a wine rack! Fruit preserves and stuff but they didn't leave any complimentary wine. Zero out of ten, not recommended."

"What makes it terrifying then?"

"Big spiders."

Crystal grimaced and backed away from the cellar door, narrowly evading Lillian as she retreated up the stairs at maximum speed.

The house was surprisingly large. The ground floor had a large open kitchen with an attached breakfast room, a living room, a dining room, a sitting room, a study with empty floor-to-ceiling bookshelves alongside display cabinets, and a laundry/changing room attached to a bathroom with an enormous sunken bath large enough to be used as a hot tub.

"I would buy this house just for the tub," Lillian said, stroking the porcelain with obvious affection.

"Please don't," Grey muttered. "We're evading the horrible disappearance curse via fairy loopholes, don't you go walking into the trap face-first like that!"

"Fine, but when we leave, we're bringing the tub with us."

"Yeah sure that's completely feasible and not at all slightly insane."

The upper floor had five large bedrooms with attached changing rooms, two lavatories, and a walk-in storage closet. Rayne carried their bags into the master bedroom, then returned to the handcart to retrieve the extra supplies they brought - a couple of brand new air mattresses, blankets, boxes of instant food, tents in case the house was in worse shape than expected, a first aid kit, and little tools like scissors, binoculars, and lighters.

"This place is supposed to be super haunted and cursed, yet..." Rayne hummed to herself, patting the mattress in the master bedroom. Every bed in the house was neatly made, with clean sheets and blankets that still smelled like soap. "Won't need the air mattresses. They really worked hard to make this place nice, huh?"

Finally, the attic under the peaked roof had a few small gaps in the shingles, but otherwise lacked any signs of weathering or exposure damage. The only things occupying the space were a few cobwebs in the darkest corners. "Ugh, nothing for us to snoop through," Grey muttered, poking his head into the attic for only moment before heading back downstairs to start moving boxes from the living room into various bedrooms for later sorting.

Crystal and Rayne turned the fans on in all the rooms to start circulating air, opening windows on the shaded side of the house to catch any stray breezes, while Lillian and Grey got started on making lunch. The house which stood empty for so long soon filled with laughter, conversation, and the smell of good food.

"I just can't get over how unhaunted this haunted house is," Grey lamented, tapping a fork against his empty plate. "I've been looking and there's not so much as a suspiciously shadowed corner or creaky stair board!"

"Are you sure those disappearances were legit?" Lillian asked, gesturing for Crystal to pass the salt so she could douse her potato salad. "You checked the sources themselves, right?"

"I did! That's why it's so weird!" Grey drained the remaining water from his glass, glaring down at the ice cubes rattling at the bottom. "Other than the terrible cell reception, weak internet signal, and our gut feelings, there's really no sign of anything being weird. I was promised jumpscares!"

"You were promised no such thing," Rayne muttered around a mouthful of grilled chicken sandwich, deftly capturing some lettuce before it escaped her lips and hit the table. "The outside looks spooky enough for use in our video, we can think of this like a vacation and relax for a bit until we have to leave."

"There's a barn out back, maybe that's haunted?" Crystal suggested, but Grey shook his head.

"I already checked... It's clean as a whistle. No disturbed earth or rattling rusty tools or anything!"

"Would you feel better if one of us got possessed by a demon?"

"Maybe. It'd have to be a really good possession though, if you're not crawling on the ceiling I want a refund."

"Oh, you're paying us?"

"Hell no, a refund of my feelings. My feelings!"

"Speaking of feelings, how do you feel, Coco? Lils?" Rayne interrupted just as Grey was about to get dramatic. "That was a doozy of a hike. You guys alright?"

Both Lillian and Crystal suffered from several health problems when they were younger, and were still weaker than the average person because of it. They had to work harder to remain healthy than most people did.

Lillian, since her mouth was full, flexed her arm and gave a thumbs up to show she was feeling alright. Once her mouth was clear of food, she added: "Mostly just sore, but nothing a long bath and some music won't cure!"

"Coco?"

Crystal gave a start, realizing she'd been staring out the nearest window for awhile and tuning out the conversation. She turned back to Rayne and smiled apologetically. "Sorry, what was that?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Just feel a bit woozy, I think."

"Sensing something weird?"

"Honestly? I don't know." Crystal sighed, opening a can of grape soda and pouring it into her glass. "I still feel like we're being watched. And..."

She hesitated, then shook her head. No matter how Grey tried to cajole the rest of the sentence from her, Crystal kept the rest of her thoughts to herself. If she felt they were in danger she wouldn't be so tight-lipped, so they dropped the subject and started discussing their upcoming album instead.

After lunch they moved several beds into one room, turning the master bedroom into a big slumber party area. The rest of the afternoon and early evening was spent getting video and photos of the house and its yard, trying to find the perfect angles for use during the actual performance recording.

Rayne gathered some logs for firewood after noticing a fire pit in the back with some carved stone benches surrounding it. Dinner consisted of an open flame barbecue using packaged meats they found in the fridge, and a few veggies and fruit rolled into foil packs.

"We've really gotta thank that agent lady," Grey said, reclining in his chair. "She really came through with the supplies! It's so good having a fully stocked kitchen from the start, I was worried we'd be having pancakes and instant ramen for days."

"I'll head to town tomorrow and grab more meat for the freezer in the cellar," Rayne said, chewing on a skewer of chicken. "It's got a little variety right now but I'd like to stock up so we don't have to make as many trips. You and Lils might be fine with rabbit food, but Crystal and I need that good good protein."

"We're natural carnivores," Crystal agreed.

"Is there anything else we need from the store?"

"Nah, I can't think of anything. There's like, four entire bags of toilet paper, and towels and wash cloths and soaps and detergent and even pads and stuff. Like, I know we paid for the service but the level of consideration is really impressive!"

Crystal stared into the flickering flames, watching the embers rise into the rapidly darkening sky only to flicker away among the stars. The strange feeling she'd had all day was building to a crescendo, swelling in her chest in anticipation of...

Something.

Rayne glanced over, nudging her sister in the arm. "Coco? You're out of it again."

Crystal nodded. She opened her mouth, closed it, then opened again. Seeing her strange behavior, Lillian and Grey both fell silent.

Finally, Crystal heaved a sigh and poked at the burning logs with a long stick. "Remember when we first posted the video for our band? It was uploading and we were all watching the loading bar while holding our breaths? How it felt?"

"Don't get nostalgic on me old man," Grey muttered. Though his tone was teasing, there was an affectionate smile on his face.

Lillian nodded and smiled. "It was so exciting and terrifying at the same time. Maybe nothing would happen, maybe we'd be one of many bands that never got any traction. But maybe... Maybe we'd get lucky."

"It was kind of a relief too," Rayne added, gesturing with the skewer in her hand. "Like, we did it! We made our first song, and did our first video, and were gonna show it to the world. It felt really real right then. All our hard work."

"Yeah... And remember what I said?" When they all shook their heads, Crystal chuckled and poked the fire hard enough to send a flurried shower of sparks into the air. "I said it felt like a change was coming. For better or worse, something big was about to happen."

"Right, right! We'd either succeed in our dream or fail absolutely, with no in-between. That's what you said, yeah?" Grey sighed, patting his full stomach. "I remember. Man, that was heavy. I couldn't even sleep that night, you know?"

"Is it happening again?" Lillian asked, her voice even softer than usual. "That feeling?"

"Yeah. I've felt that way all day. I thought maybe it's cuz we never did anything as big as this, renting a house and doing a whole video shoot on location, that maybe I was worried about how ambitious our idea was, but..." Crystal bit her lip, poking the fire again. She made a point of avoiding their gazes, focusing on the burning embers and crackling logs. "I think if we stay here tonight, there's no going back."

Silence reigned for a few minutes. Then, quietly, Rayne whispered: "Are we in danger?"

"It's not like that. It's just... A massive change, that feels... Overwhelming. This is bigger than the previous time."

"Bigger than chasing our dream?"

"Yeah."

Rayne reached over to grab Crystal's hand, while Grey hopped up and sprawled across Lillian's lap despite her protests. He just laughed and said, "What's that matter? No matter what happens tonight, tomorrow, or whatever! We'll get through it together like we always have. You and me, sweethearts. Us against the world!"

Crystal smiled and gently squeezed Rayne's hand. "Yeah. We'll be fine, no matter what."

Once dinner was finished, the fire fully smothered and the leftovers packed away for later, everyone did rock-paper-scissors to determine order of bathtub usage. One by one, they soaked away their worries, changed into the pajamas they brought, and crawled into one of the master bedroom's beds.

As midnight ticked over, a single shaft of light from the full moon filtered through the room's lacy curtains, illuminating their peaceful faces. The sleeping occupants remained blissfully unaware of the tendrils of fog creeping along the ground, emerging from the forest to wrap the entire house in a dome of mist.

Several hours later, as the first rays of dawn burst from the horizon, they were finally awoken by a piercing scream.

[ussjellyfish]

fic: Work-Life Balance pt 5 | AoS | Philinda | mature

Summary: Phil and Melinda help her cadets learn not to be distracted by kissing. Melinda finally tells him her secret.

read on Ao3

Espionage 418 - committing fully to the mission: intimacy in field work

Melinda already has her notes and her laptop out on the kitchen table when he gets out of the shower. Phil pours himself the rest of the pot of coffee, more out of habit than need for caffeine. It's relaxing, not needing to save the world, having this time with her. He sniffs his coffee with a smile. At least since he's doing the grocery shopping, it's what he likes. 

Her hair's down today, soft in waves on the shoulders of her maroon sweater. She's been favoring sweaters over blazers and there's something so gentle and wonderful about her not having to worry about what's practical to fight in. 

She sips her tea, reading yet another cadet's mock mission report. 

"Did you eat breakfast?"

Melinda shakes her head, smiling without looking up. "You didn't cook it yet."

"That would be a hangup," he agrees, glancing in the fridge before he decides on oatmeal. She didn't finish dinner last night when he made steak so maybe they just need something bland. "What's your seminar today?" 

"Oh it's a fun one, Phil, your favorite." Her eyes never twinkle like that when anything good is going to happen to him. 

"Oh?"

"Kissing you at the fundraiser was so distracting to my cadets that I moved this class up several weeks: use of intimacy during fieldwork."

"You're kidding." He covers the oatmeal on the stove and heads to the table just to make sure. She holds up the seminar schedule and there it is, "Committing fully to the mission: use of intimacy in field work". "They let you name the class, didn't they?"

"It's my class." She touches his shoulder and her fingers slip out towards his neck. She's so distracting. "It would be so helpful if you came."

"I'm here to help." He stares into her intoxicating dark eyes so long that the beep of the stove timer pulls him away before he finds more words. "How are you teaching it?"

She finishes her tea and sets it down. "You and I can start, then they'll pair off and try some of the scenarios and we'll talk about how they can be useful and how to telegraph the type of intimacy you need for the mission." 

"Do I have to take off your bra?"

"Only if that card comes up," she teases, patting a worn set of notecards. "I'm sure Maria put that in here somewhere."

"Maria wasn't available to teach it with you this time?"

"Sadly not." Melinda sighs dramatically over her oatmeal and berries as he hands it over. "You'll have to do."

"I'll do my best." Worst case, he has to kiss her a few times in front of some shocked cadets. Even if it's far from the golden, bittersweet moments in Tahiti, they kissed plenty yesterday, and now she's not wearing lipstick yet. He hasn't kissed Melinda this much since they left the island, though he's making an effort to catch up, and she's just as eager to touch him. 

He remembers that look in her eyes: that amusement, the challenge... Flirting for a cover is one of her favorite types of games. He's in trouble. 

After breakfast, he walks her to class, holding her hand, guiding her through doors. He could get used to this. Maybe get his own office in the same building, have lunch with her, and drop into her classes. He wants her presence, craves her smile like oxygen and it could happen. He could slip into her life and stay. They could do this together. 

The seminar is small, only sixteen students, all close to graduation, all specialists. He recognizes some of them from the fundraiser. These are the some cadets she tasked with being catering staff. The ones who gave themselves away to Mack when she started kissing him. She's right, they need practice before field work on their own. 

Melinda starts with a brief lecture on the importance of intimacy as a distraction and part of cover stories. A married couple who hold hands awkwardly should be part of your cover, not something that happens because you're not ready to give it your all, because all of it needs to be in your control. 

He's not blushing. Dammit. He is entirely good at hand holding now, thank you. The last time they were undercover together as husband and wife, they were fine. Completely convincing. He's never been married but it seems more possible every time it comes up. 

Melinda sits on the table in the front of the room, feet on the chair, smiling as the students laugh nervously at the idea of kissing each other. 

"Agent May-" 

He looks up at her, surprised. Agent May is him. They're going with this. She said it. He's Mr. May now. What else was he going to call himself? Can't really walk around being the Academy's namesake.

"-and I will demonstrate a few scenarios, then we'll dissect what we're doing as a class, then you'll try some with your partner. Tomorrow we'll show some scenarios to each other and work on the little things that make it real."

One of the cadets holds out the pile of notecards to Melinda but she waves the student to Phil. Making a point not to look, he shuffles a little and draws one. 

"Comfortably married couple on vacation," he reads aloud, burying his relief. Knowing Maria there are some incredibly steamy ones he doesn't want to demonstrate in public. He's not going to think about kissing Melinda breathless without an audience, or undoing her bra just to prove he can. Later, much later. 

He's kidding himself. Later means after class in her office, because she's so beautiful today that his newly repaired heart can barely handle it. She'll laugh that laugh if he tells her and he can already imagine her legs wrapped around his waist. 

Melinda holds out her hand and pulls him over. She slips off the table, standing facing him. She touches his cheek, smiling so gently that his chest aches. Later, you get her later. He strokes her hair, then kisses her forehead. 

"I had a really nice time yesterday."

"You love looking at old things."

"I don't consider you old."

Melinda smirks, taking his hand. "And here I thought you were distracted by the architecture."

Running his thumb over her collarbone, he leans in close. The cadets stare silently, as if watching Shakespeare. "I was." 

She rewards that with a kiss, warm and full. When they part, the students start raising their hands. 

Melinda releases him and his heart beats in his ears.  "Tell me what you noticed, then what you're wondering."

The first cadet talks about the way he touched her hair, and a second adds that their flirting showed a level of comfort with each other because age could be sensitive, but it obviously wasn't.

"What made it obvious?" Melinda prompts and he takes the chair beside her, listening and watching her work. 

"The way you touched each other was very gentle, familiar, without any tension. That made it seem like you'd been doing it a long time." 

"Good, good observation." 

The discussion flies by before Melinda draws another card. "Intoxicated newlyweds who don't speak the language," she reads, chuckling. "All right, honey, you ready?"

He dredges up the memories of being intoxicated, letting his body go loose as he stands up. Melinda takes a moment, then starts to giggle, nearly tripping against him. He doesn't even have to say anything, and it's as if he's said the funniest thing she's ever heard. 

"That's not true," he improvises. This time when he touches her face, he pulls her closer, makes it needy, hungry. Pretending she's the most beautiful woman alive is easy, too easy, because that's true, and the way she tugs at his shirt makes his skin tingle as they kiss, nearly pushing him into the table. 

"It is true." Throwing her arms around his neck, she examines his lips with clumsy obsession. "Most couples don't leave their bed on their honeymoon."

Lifting her up to the table, he slips between her knees. "Well that just sounds boring, kind of limits your options a little, doesn't it?"

Melinda's giggle deepens into almost a growl and she reaches for his jacket, sliding it off his shoulders as he grabs her hips. He pulls her in closer, almost a little rough. She grabs at his crotch, nearly missing his belt. 

A flush rises in his face and it's entirely unfair that this is work because he could just pull her into her office now and... 

"Time," the cadet with the stopwatch calls out. 

Her lipstick's smudged and her hair's mussed. The light in her eyes could be from being dragged from bed, and her cheeks are pink. She's beautiful in a way that claws at him. What is he missing? Something demands his attention and he just hasn't grasped it yet. 

"Wow," says one of the students. "You were totally different people."

"That's the point. Change your outfit, change your hair, or even change the way you touch someone and suddenly you're not the same person. You get noticed differently, or ignored when you want to be." She leads them through a discussion about how no one really wants to watch newlyweds and it's a good way to be ignored as you case a room, or head through somewhere with lots of people. 

"The first scene is about comfort, you're boring them with how much you love each other. You're not a threat. The newlywed cover is about making whoever is watching uncomfortable because it feels too intimate, too personal." She holds up the stack of notecards. "Take one with your partner and try it, then we'll discuss." 

Phil follows her lead, walking around the room, explaining how to tilt a chin in a way that speaks of old intimacy, or how to grab a thigh in a way that oozes with want. These are good students, advanced, and he's distracted watching more than one couple. They'll be good in the field, and better with practice. 

Melinda leads another discussion, guiding Phil's hands over her body to showcase new desire and old longing, what an abusive relationship might look like, and what to look for to give away other agents. She doesn't tell the bra story, and instead talks about dancing with him in that sequined dress and smiling until her face hurt. 

"I highly recommend the dance elective, even if you think it's stupid. It's very useful." 

That earns him a smile and they're about to do another round of student practice but one in the back raises his hand. "Could you two do one more? It's so helpful to be able to watch what choices you make." 

"Sure." Melinda offers him the cards and he draws. This time the handwritten words on the card catch in his throat as if he's choking on them. "Confessing a pregnancy to your partner."  Why is that one so intense? What did she say two days ago? 

Melinda blinks once in surprise, then nods. "All right, I guess I should take partner A?" Her joke amuses the class but for some reason her eyes are soft, not bright with mirth. 

She nods to the student with the stopwatch and stares down at her hands. One hand rests on her stomach, as if protecting something and his chest burns. She never got to have a child. She had Robin, for a time, and Daisy's theirs as much as anyone, but she never got this part.

She wanted it so much once. She deserved it. She'd be an incredible mother. 

"Can I talk to you for a moment, honey?"

He sets down his copy of the syllabus as if it's a newspaper. "Of course." 

"I know the timing isn't--" she stops, licking her lips as if she's terrified. 

Phil has no choice but to respond to that fear. She shouldn't be afraid, she should be thrilled. "The timing of what?" Of course the husband doesn't know, he never notices. 

"I know we talked about it, but it awhile ago, and then we didn't think about it because work was just so busy. We weren't but I--" she stops again, voice softer, throat tighter. She stares at his hands instead of at him, then grabs his hands, her palms damp against his. How'd she make herself so nervous? She's so good at this it's like it's real. 

"It's all right." He squeezes her hands and guides her to the chair. "Sit." He hands her the glass of water from the table and crouches down, his hands on her knees. "Maybe start at the beginning."

"It is a beginning," she says, hands trembling around the water glass. "It's the beginning and I don't know how to tell you." Setting the glass down, she takes his hand and brings it to her belly. Her stomach's firm against his hand, but soft somehow. He should stumble through some words, make sure she's all right, but her heart's pounding so fast he can feel it. She wouldn't fake that, would she? Why bother being that nervous?

This is real. 

His throat goes dry. Her exhaustion, the afternoon naps he teases her for, her lack of appetite, the way she's so careful standing up yet dizzy sometimes. 

"I know it's a surprise, hopefully it's a good one." 

"Heidi--" he starts, but she doesn't let him finish. He barely made himself use the cover, he almost slipped and said her name. 

"I'm pregnant." 

Everything stops. All of his senses collapse into her thudding heartbeat, echoing his own. 

That's the missing piece. Her hesitance, her fear what they have isn't what he wants. She's not afraid of them being together, it's that he won't want her and a baby. "You are," he whispers in awe. "Oh my god--" he adds so softly that no one else can hear. 

"You can't get me pregnant right now." She tried to tell him and he missed it. 

Melinda kisses his cheek, lingering against him and the heat of her feeling washes over him, rushing up in a torrent of apprehension, fear and joy. 

She's crying, he's crying, and there's not a dry eye in the room as her empathy carries her feelings over all of the cadets like a river cascading over its banks.

The stopwatch beeps, forgotten. 

He wants to demand how, why, when, are you all right, but that seems too crude. It's too simplistic. This is not something he needs to pull out of her. He can just be happy. She has something she's wanted since before Bahrain. 

"Who?" He asks without sound. 

"Yours," she replies silently, then shuts her eyes. This isn't a public discussion. "Class dismissed until tomorrow." She wipes her eyes and covers his hand on her belly with hers. Somehow, this is their baby. 

"Remember to practice your scene with your partner so we can discuss them."

The students start to file out, then on the way out they walk up, touching her shoulder, smiling, whispering their congratulations as if paying homage to a saint. One or two of the braver ones even hug her and her tears run faster once they're gone. She deserves every bit of their respect, and she has it. 

She strokes his cheek after they're gone, pulling him into her arms. 

"I was ready," she murmurs. "I couldn't wait."

He loses himself in her eyes, then touches her belly again, holding her with both hands. Her eyes drown him in affection, and warmth. "You've waited long enough."

"I didn't know you were coming back, we could have- but I didn't know if you'd want this and I didn't know what to say."

He has to swallow, then he laughs. "It's wonderful." Affection wells in his stomach, thick like honey and just as warm. Is this his feeling? Hers? Can she feel his confusion? 

"Who?" he starts but shakes his head. "It's not important." He can't press. It doesn't matter. They're together and he'll be everything she wants him to be.

"You," she answers before he can walk away from the question. "When you died, you left me everything. Your parents' old house in Wisconsin, Lola, your old DNA samples, from when we started field work."

"I was.going to say, we just had sex Wednesday, it would be pretty quick."

She smiles at that and wipes her eyes. "IVF is pretty unsexy."

"It was brave of you."

"Oh?"

"I know how long you've wanted this, and doing it alone..."

Years and several lifetimes ago, she wanted a baby with Andrew. They had so many conversations about what that child might be like. How she'd work around childcare and school plays and Phil had been so happy for her. He wanted her to have what made her complete.

"I didn't think he'd- you- would mind...I didn't want anyone else."

"I'm honored." He rubs his thumb over her sweater once, then pulls his hand back.

Melinda nods, struggling with her tears. 

He aches, wistful and worn. "I'm so sorry you were so alone." He left her that way. He didn't fight to stay with her even when she begged him. No wonder she was afraid to tell him. He lets her down, over and over. 

"It wasn't going to work." She fidgets with the note cards as she picks them up, unable to look at him. "It's like doing a vertical landing inside a cave during a hurricane. It shouldn't have--"

He touches her back, then her hair. "Hey, it's okay to be happy that it did."

She takes a breath, shivering. "Is it? I don't deserve it, I've never thought I'd be happy like this."

"You are everything." He touches her shoulders. Reassurance comes to both of them when he hugs her, wrapping their arms tight. "I want to be with you, and this doesn't change that. This is more, and that's beautiful."

"You keep talking about the future, and I didn't know how to tell you."

That clicks. "You stacked the deck."

Melinda laughs, kissing his neck. "Just the last time. I had to give myself a kick."

He lets go of her just to see her face, and kisses her, long and slow. "My future is you, if you'll have me, a baby is a wonderful addition to that."

"If I'll--' she repeats, scoffing. "Stay with me this time."

"As long as I can."

Nodding, she shuts her eyes and kisses him again, pulling him closer so his tears join her own. 

This requires no clarification. He loves and it pours out of him, she loves and it fills him, rich and vivid, overriding his senses. She loves him like the blinding sun, so warm and bright that his eyes sting and his heart feels like a candle in comparison. He has to earn her, love her like she should be loved, every day, all of his days. She deserves that. She needs it. 

Hopefully his determination to do that is as loud as the rest of his thoughts. 

The way she melts into him suggests that it got through. 

"This is why you're so tired." 

"I could sleep for days and my breasts hurt..." she trails off and shrugs. "The dizziness is morefrustrating."

"I knew something was different." He cups her breasts, gentle and smiling. "They're beautiful."

"They ache." She takes another breath, calming herself in a way that echoes through both of them. "It's like I can fall asleep standing up and my head keeps spinning."

"No nausea?"

"Not yet." She gives him that don't worry about me look. "You've made balancing much easier this week."

"Thanks." 

Maybe that's all he can do. Try to fill in what she needs, offer what he has. He doesn't have to have all the pieces. He brushes her hair back away from her face and smiles, really smiles in the way that exposes his whole heart. "You are extraordinary, Melinda May."

She takes a tissue out of her briefcase and fixes her smudged lipstick, then tosses it away. He picks up the case and waves towards the door. The seminar took most of the morning and her cadets have electives this afternoon. 

"How long?" He asks, keeping her in the classroom with her hand on the door. 

"Eight weeks they say, which is really six, but they-"

"Have the most ridiculous way of timing it." 

"Yes." She shakes her head. "Very inexact." Melinda closes her eyes, centering herself. Maybe she's dizzy. Now that he knows he can worry about that. Help her take it easy sometimes.  

"Come on," he says into her hair, "show me this cafeteria you frequent so often." 

She chuckles. "It's nice."

"I don't doubt it." 

Chuckling, she leans into him. She must have wanted this so deeply to do it on her own, and she's not alone now. "I wanted to tell you so many times."

"You're worth waiting for."

Melinda kisses him one more time. Her cadets know and spies are terrible at keeping secrets. They have maybe a day before it gets to Mack, Elena, then Daisy, Fitz and Simmons. Might as well enjoy it while it’s just theirs.

"Takes you long enough to figure that out." 

He takes her hand. "Well, honey, lead the way." 

[jemmasimmons]

Hi! I haven’t watched the latest season of Aos but what is it about it you don’t like? I trust your opinion so I’m just curious

Hi anon! Going to put this under the read more, as I do not want to upset anyone who is enjoying the show :) Also, I’m going to do as brief an explanation I can because I really don’t want to talk about this. 

It’s not that I don’t like something specific about AoS. I always thought it was a great show in many ways. 

A long time ago, however, I felt the show began to do shocking twists and crazy plots over being character driven. This meant that not only I felt the characters were very different week to week, but also that their trauma was often not dealt with. This became an issue for me more and more through the seasons, until Season 4 was kind of my  breaking point with the Framework arc and everything that happened in it. 

After a long hiatus (that was painful to me in terms of thinking about what had happened), I gave Season 5 a chance. At first, I was enjoying it and was hoping they would deal with a lot of what Season 4 had done. But then, they had Fitz torture Daisy. Which was not only an awful, excruciating thing that I couldn’t bear, but then they made him totally unapologetic about it. And then had Jemma, Elena, and others not really see the issue with it. And then the writers took the cowardly way out by “killing off” the Fitz that did this, and having Daisy totally be fine with the new him after.

After that, I didn’t feel right shipping Fitzsimmons. I didn’t feel right about anything about the show. I cannot condone what happened there. And I took a long break to see if I could...and I just couldn’t get over it. It was not okay. 

Since then, I basically have not been active apart from reblogging things about other characters (mostly Daisy). I do still love them, and I can “ship Fitzsimmons” if I pretend that basically all the above never happened and the show stopped (apart from select eps) very early on.

I still keep my URL because I do love everything that Jemma gave me during a hard time in my life. She was a model character to me in so many ways, but this is basically my situation now.

[notalwaysthevillian]

Brewing Love

Warnings: Food mention, hardcore flirting, innuendo

Pairings: Remile; background Logicality, eventual Prinxiety

Word Count: ~1.8k

Read from the beginning!

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter 8

Remy saw Virgil a total of twice before Monday morning.

The first was when he came in at 2 in the morning to find his new roommate sitting on the counter eating a bowl of cereal.

The second was just before he left on Sunday. He’d been running late and had rushed into the kitchen to find Virgil feeding Chai. The little rascal had rubbed up against his leg and purred as loud as she could.

As soon as his alarm went off on Monday, Remy groaned. Yeah, he loved his job, but some days you just wanted more than a day off.

“I guess that’s what I’m training Virgil for.” He mumbled to himself as he left his bedroom.

“What?”

A girlish shriek rang out through the apartment. Remy glared at his roommate, who was chuckling from the shadows. “You! How do you do that?”

“I’m just quiet, Rem. Maybe you should try it sometime.” Virgil joked as he stepped into the light. Dark eyeshadow was spread expertly beneath his eyes, somehow making the backwards application stylish. “Did you want me to feed Chai again?”

“If you would, apparently she likes you more than her own father.” Remy barely heard Virgil’s soft laugh as he stepped into the bathroom.

After speeding through his morning routine, Remy threw on a pink bomber and grabbed his keys. “Ready to learn, young padawan?”

Virgil gave him an unimpressed look before heading out the door.

The two walked in silence on the way to the shop, appreciating the quiet of early morning. The sun’s rays were slowly lighting up the sky and a gentle breeze blew through the city.

The complete opposite of the chaos they’d be facing in the next hour.

As soon as they entered the shop, Patton darted out from the kitchen. He wrapped Virgil in a hug. “I hope you decide to work here! If it’s slow, you can help me with pastries while Logan does paperwork and then we can catch up!”

“We’ll see how it goes.” Virgil smiled. “But I need to be trained first.”

“Right!” Patton released his hold and took a few steps back. “Have fun!”

Virgil shook his head as Patton headed back to the kitchen. “He really hasn’t changed since high school.”

“Come on, let me show you how everything works.”

It wasn’t a surprise when Virgil picked up on everything rather quickly. It’s not as though the machines were hard to use. The drinks took longer than usual because Remy insisted on perfection.

“Don’t be afraid to mix things up a little.” Remy said as he worked on a new recipe he’d been trying. “Sometimes the new things I make suck. We just throw them away and never speak of them again.”

Virgil bit his lip, staring at the different syrups. Remy recognized the look on his face and grinned. “Go wild.”

Moving slowly, Virgil started on a drink. Remy watched as he put a few different syrups together and stirred it vigorously to make sure they were blended fully. When he was done he held it out. “You try.”

“Nu-uh, creator always tries it first.” He pushed the drink back towards Virgil. “That’s how I’ve gotten out of trying some of Logan’s worse creations.”

“Hey!”

“Logan, I say this with all the love in the world, but you are not good at making new drinks!”

There was a beat of silence before Remy heard whispering coming from the kitchen. He rolled his eyes. “Unless you want to watch those two make out, stay out of the kitchen when Logan’s upset.”

“Noted.” Virgil sipped his drink, his eyes lighting up as the flavor hit. “I didn’t think that would work honestly.”

“Alright gurl, hand it over.” Grabbing the cup, Remy took a long drink. The butterscotch flavor burst on his tongue, so sweet it almost made him choke. He started coughing, handing the drink back. “That’s a good one for our sweet tooths.”

“I’m guessing you prefer a more bitter taste?” Virgil grabbed a pen out of the cup and starting writing down the recipe on some spare receipt paper.

“Bitter coffee, sweet kisses.” Remy headed to the register as Logan emerged from the kitchen to unlock the door. “Look alive, kid.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, stuffing the recipe in his back pocket. “I’m only a few years younger than you.”

“Shut up, you’re like twelve.” The nasally tone in Remy’s voice made Virgil burst out laughing, just as their first customer came up.

“What?” Remy asked, noting the black mug in his hands.

“Can I get a PSL?” She asked, a grin on her face.

A heavy sigh left Remy’s mouth as he punched in her order. “Basic white girl - fall edition, coming right up.”

Midway through the morning, Remy let Virgil take a few orders. He grinned as Virgil upped the sass, offending an older woman enough that she left the shop.

The kid was a natural.

As the morning quieted down, Remy clapped Virgil on the shoulder. “What do you think of the job?”

“I think it’s perfect.” Virgil’s eyes twinkled as he finished up a drink and handed it out. “Did you see that lady’s face?”

Remy leaned his hip against the counter. “You’re really good at this, Virgil. We’d all love to have you here.”

“That depends on if he gets my drink right.”

The two baristas turned to find Roman in front of the register. Virgil raised an eyebrow. “And what would that be, Princey? Wait, let me guess. Something with six different syrups that would take any lesser person over ten minutes to make?”

“I’ll take a Chai Latte. Add salted caramel, french vanilla, and praline syrup. Oh, and a generous swirl of whipped cream on top.” Roman rattled off, watching Virgil enter his order. “Hmm...and one of those delicious cinnamon rolls.”

“Wow, not nearly as complicated as I thought. Are you sure you don’t want to add a few more syrups? Do you want me to make sure it’s not too hot? Wouldn’t want to burn your pretty mouth.” Virgil quipped, starting on the drink.

“Actually, that sounds great.” Roman leaned against the counter. “After all, my pretty mouth needs to be ready for its...multiple uses.”

Remy, who’d been watching the two like a tennis match, smirked as Virgil turned red. He knew exactly what was running through his mind.

Without another word, Virgil finished the drink and handed it over. Roman took it, making sure to graze their fingertips together. He took a sip, not breaking eye contact with Virgil. “Mmmm, that’s really good.”

The bell on the door chimed as Emile walked in. Remy pulled on Virgil’s apron, untying the back. “We’re good for the day, you can go.”

“There’s always room for more.” Roman purred before he picked up his drink and headed to a couple’s table.

Virgil blushed even harder, opting to dart into the kitchen instead. Remy saw Roman track the movement with his eyes and smirk.

“What was that about?” Emile asked as he handed Remy his usual mug.

Remy started on a hot chocolate. “Roman obviously likes Virgil. I think Virgil likes him back, but the poor guy hasn’t had much experience so he doesn’t really know what to do. Hopefully Patton can talk some sense into him.”

“Rem? Can you come in here a second?”

Virgil walked out from the kitchen, pointedly ignoring the ogling from the corner table. Patton was right on his heels, a pleading look on his face.

“Sure. Virgil, can you finish off Emile’s hot chocolate? It just needs whipped cream.”

When Remy reached Patton, the baker whispered, “Virgil said something about being too gay to work here?”

“Roman was flirting with him and laying it on a bit thick if I do say so myself.” Remy watched as Roman headed back to the counter and batted his eyelashes at Virgil.

The next few seconds seemed to go by in slow motion. Remy had no clue what Roman had said, but it startled Virgil enough that he dropped the mug in his hands. It fell to the floor and shattered into a million pieces, sending hot chocolate everywhere.

Emile let out a gasp, hands flying to his mouth. “Oh, goodness! Are you alright? Can I help?”

“Virge -”

Virgil darted out of the shop. Patton took off after him, brushing past a shocked Roman.

Grabbing a broom, Remy handed it out. “You helped cause the mess, you get to help clean it up, Ro.”

“That’s fair.”

The two got to work cleaning up. The floor was spotless by the time Patton came back with Virgil, who looked like he’d been crying. He went straight to Emile.

“Um, Remy told me that was your favorite mug. I’m so sorry that I broke it, I can try to find another one or -”

“Oh, Virgil, no.” Emile moved to hug him, but stopped himself. Instead he held his arms out. Virgil slipped into them easily. “I’m not mad at all. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Remy watched the scene unfold with a smile. Emile always seemed to know exactly what to say.

“Rem also said you’re a therapist?” Virgil asked, continuing when Emile nodded. “Do you think you could take another client?”

Emile moved his hands to Virgil’s shoulders. “I think you’d be better off with a co-worker of mine. I’m worried that since we’re friends it’ll be hard to separate work life and personal life. But my co-worker Jamahl was looking for some new clients. He does music therapy.”

“That sounds great. Can you give me his information?”

The two continued chatting, Virgil’s smile returning as they did.

Roman nudged Remy. “I didn’t mean for the mug to break.”

“It’s fine. I’ve got it covered.” Remy turned, poking Roman in the chest. “But you need to tone it down. Virgil isn’t like your usual type. Come on too strong and you might scare him away.”

“Got it.” Roman stretched his arms above his head, his lips twitching as he caught Virgil staring. “I gotta go plan the next open mic with Logan. See ya.”

“Em?” Remy asked, seeing that Virgil was heading out the door. Emile turned and gave him a questioning look. “You want another hot chocolate?”

“Yes please!”

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@trek-tracks

I'd read your rant! Also, you should see Beyond. I haven't seen ID, but I'm confident Beyond is WAY better than ST:2009 and, from what I've heard about ID (that it is a garbage fire), Beyond is not the one of the three to not see.

Yeah, I have heard that about Beyond, and I keep meaning to watch it. I’m not like actively avoiding it, it just sort of...hasn’t happened. I have a To Watch list about five miles long at this point that I just keep foregoing in favor of watching gaming videos on YouTube. It’s a sad life.

But here’s the rant (feel free to skip if you didn’t follow this blog to hear me complain about AOS):

My strong impression from the first two movies was that the writers misunderstood--or just, for whatever reason, chose to discard-- the dynamic that Kirk, Spock and Bones actually had in TOS.

In TOS there’s a very deliberate balance wherein Spock and Bones are on opposite ends of a spectrum of logic vs emotion/ lawful vs chaotic, and Kirk sits in the middle of that spectrum, getting the input from both ends and then turning that into balanced decision-making. (I know it’s deliberate because of that whole “I took one man and wrote him as three people” quote from Roddenberry.) It’s a great setup when it’s being used correctly because it gives you a built-in method of examining any situation that comes up in the show from multiple angles without sacrificing the drive of any of the characters.

Trying to write one single character covering the same total perspective as Spock, McCoy and Kirk can create combined would necessarily result in either a character who appears to be wildly indecisive at best and lacking in any consistent characterization at worst, or in paring down the range of that perspective to avoid the first thing happening. This is all especially important in a show with the set-up of Star Trek, where not only do you not have much time to deliberate because everything has to be solved in under 60 minutes and no we will NOT be revisiting any of it later, but your lead character is in a position of formal command, meaning you have very little room to allow him to be hesitant or indecisive in his decisions before he starts to look like he shouldn’t be in that job. Indeed, it’s made explicitly clear multiple times that any sign of hesitation on Kirk’s part will be taken by not just him but most of the crew and Starfleet as a sign that he’s losing ability to command. Because Spock and McCoy have different roles not just as characters but as crewmembers, they can give full attention to their respective angles in a way that Kirk alone could not without it looking like he was dithering, with the bonus that you can write it all as a natural (and entertaining) conversation rather than it coming off as forced exposition. You don’t need to have those kinds of discussions all the time--there are plenty of times when one or more of the trio is absent and things tick along just fine--but there are also times, IMO, when someone being missing or just poorly written makes things falter quite obviously, Where No Man Has Gone Before being the biggest example that comes to mind.

But instead of having Kirk be in the middle of this spectrum I may have just sort of made up, the AOS movies seem to take the tack of having Spock be at one end and Kirk at the other end. They’re portrayed as being complete opposites to such an extent that they’re at odds practically the minute they meet, and spend the entire first movie at each other’s throats because AOS!Kirk’s brash, reckless, emotion-driven, rules-ignoring personality clashes incompatibly with Spock being deliberate, logical, and law-abiding to the letter. There’s absolutely no indication in TOS that Kirk and Spock ever had that kind of relationship or that they had to get over any sense of rivalry before they became friends. Granted, TOS had such a lackadaisical approach to backstory that we don’t really know anything about how they did become friends, but we are told on more than one occasion (which, for TOS, is practically hammering the point in) that Kirk was himself was so serious and focused as a student (”positively grim”) that he attracted bullying for it. In other words, for as little solid backstory as we get, one thing TOS is clear on is that Kirk did not have an arc of being reckless and wild and having to learn some patience and sense--if anything he seems to have had an arc in the complete opposite direction, although not so much that he isn’t still a total workaholic.

So that of course very much impacts Kirk and Spock’s characterizations and dynamic, but it also impacts McCoy, because by sticking Kirk in McCoy’s usual role, McCoy himself is now left with very little to do but make snarky comments and stick hyposprays in people from time to time (which he does very well, but, still). Which is sort of both cause and effect, because the fact that the writers put Kirk in that position to begin with indicates to me that they didn’t understand and/or didn’t value the importance of McCoy, specifically, being in that spot in the first place. But it is important that McCoy is in that spot because I love him and he deserves it because McCoy as a character is in a much more natural position to serve that role than Kirk is.

This may seem like a tangent, but stick with me here: McCoy inherently has a different perspective towards Starfleet than Kirk. Than everyone in the main cast, really, but especially Kirk. Kirk’s character, his perspective, his role in life, his arc, his backstory, all are closely tied to his being in Starfleet. Kirk’s position in relation to Starfleet is so important that it’s part of if not the entirety of practically every bit of story or backstory he has. When we hear about Kirk’s history, we mostly hear about it in terms of where he was in Starfleet at the time: at the Academy, serving his first assignment as an ensign, being a lieutenant on the Farragut, etc. Kirk’s career is very much on his mind all the time and threats to it are the subject of conflict multiple times, not because he cares about climbing in rank for rank’s sake but because he needs that career, and that good relationship with Starfleet, to do the thing he is most meant to do in life: be a starship captain. It’s not a position he could have outside of Starfleet--maybe he could go command an independent ship of some kind, but it wouldn’t be the same thing, not really. Kirk’s not meant to be doing supply runs or carrying passengers or what have you; he wants to explore, he wants to be out there checking out the weirdest shit the universe has to offer, he wants to be doing something important. This is why it’s such a big deal that Kirk is willing to sacrifice his career to save Spock in the movies, because that career is his life.

Yes, Kirk doesn’t always agree with Starfleet, and he’s willing to break their rules if he really has to. But Kirk could never exist in the position he is in TOS, and he certainly couldn’t maintain that position, if he couldn’t agree with Starfleet on most things, and conduct himself in a way that they in turn found agreeable. You don’t get to be the captain of one of the most important ships in the fleet by fucking around. And he didn’t. He worked his ass off to get there! TOS Kirk might be a bit young to be a captain but not so much so that he didn’t have to climb up the ranks the old-fashioned way to get there. Meanwhile AOS had to have Kirk sneak onto a ship he wasn’t supposed to be on and then get rid of practically everyone else on said ship, right up to provoking the acting captain into a fistfight, to get Kirk into a position where it would be remotely plausible for him to be in command of the Enterprise. In AOS Kirk is characterized as being so at odds with Starfleet and the Starfleet way of doing things that it takes some very extreme circumstances to get him in a position to command the ship because there’s no way Starfleet would have actually chosen for him to do that.

The reason I’m putting all this emphasis on Starfleet is that in TOS, when it comes to questions of Following The Rules vs Doing What’s Right, Starfleet is the rules. If it’s a matter of Lawful vs Chaotic, Starfleet is going to be the law. Any time the characters are in a situation where they have to ask “Is it the right thing to do what the rules say we should be doing here? Could the rules be wrong?” the rules they’re debating are almost always going to be Starfleet rules. (When it comes to following non-Starfleet rules it’s usually not so much a moral matter as “okay following the rules might be the only way we’ll get this done but we’re not going to act like we like or agree with those rules.”)

So when it comes to putting a character in the position of being the one who’s emotional rather than logical, who’s the voice of Hang The Rules, I’m Doing The Right Thing, who’s there to say things that need to be said but aren’t really appropriate to just say in the societal rules we’re working under here--Kirk can do that to some degree, but it really doesn’t make sense for him to be the one on the far end of that spectrum. To have been in the Starfleet environment as long as he has, and to have been as successful in that environment as he has, he has to be someone who can thrive in that environment, who finds it more acceptable to work with than not, or at least can do a good job faking it.

But McCoy? McCoy’s coming at it from a completely different angle. McCoy didn’t join Starfleet out of any kind of lifelong pursuit, he basically did it on impulse because fuck it, he had nothing better to do with his life at the time. Being in Starfleet informs McCoy’s characterization far less than everyone else’s in the show; mostly it just informs his current physical location. His identity isn’t really wrapped up in being Starfleet personnel. His identity is wrapped up in being a doctor. He was a doctor long before he was Starfleet, and when being in Starfleet stops being a viable option he goes to be a doctor somewhere else (and to make regrettable fashion choices but that’s another topic entirely).

There’s a lot of little ways that McCoy shows that he doesn’t care a whole lot about the Starfleet way of doing things. He’s casually insubordinate to people who seriously outrank him. He inserts himself into situations and discussions that aren’t what his actual job calls for--there’s no real reason why the CMO would need to hang out on the bridge all the time but there he is. He complains about the dress uniforms. He usually forgoes referring to other crewmembers by their ranks if he can get away with using their first name instead. He doesn’t even sit right.

[ID: 1. McCoy sitting on the edge of Spock’s console on the bridge, 2. McCoy sitting on the edge of the briefing table with a cup of coffee, 3. McCoy sitting sideways in a shuttle chair while talking to Spock.]

And he has very little interest in his own rank, or in commanding anyone, or in generally behaving as if he’s a member of a military organization, something reflected in the fact that he in turn hardly ever gets referred to by his actual rank. McCoy is okay with ordering people around as a doctor--he’ll pull rank to get someone in for a physical, or make them sit down and rest when they’re injured, Jim, and since he has to he’ll run the rest of the medical department, whatever there is of it. But I think he sees that first and foremost as being a doctor, who just happens to have a few extra tools at his disposal to make his patients behave so hey, might as well use ‘em. But on the one occasion* when he’s called upon to actually act as a ranking officer in a completely non-doctoring-related matter, he gets so flustered about the whole thing that he has to ask the person he’s supposed to be ordering if he did it right. He’s not really interested in being in charge of anyone in any formal sense.

*The one occasion in the main show, at least, which doesn’t take into account Diane Duane’s extremely excellent novel Doctor’s Orders, in which McCoy winds up in charge of the Enterprise because Shenanigans, and spends the rest of the book having a massive extended anxiety attack about it. It’s so great.

So McCoy doesn’t look at things tactically in the same way that Kirk does. He doesn’t have to. It’s not his job. Not to say that McCoy never has to make any hard decisions, but as a character he functions much better than Kirk as the one who’s looking at the emotional aspect of things because most of the time, McCoy’s not the one who has to turn The Right Thing To Do into standing orders for 430 people that can actually be practically acted upon. He tends to have a more immediate, short-range focus, contrasting the way Spock tends to look at the biggest picture and Kirk, again, lands somewhere in the middle. McCoy thinks about individual people first and foremost. If the Enterprise is about to get into a skirmish with a Klingon ship, Kirk has to be thinking about what the outcome of that battle will mean for Federation-Klingon relations, about what he can do now that might save more lives down the road even if it puts some in danger right now, but McCoy will be thinking about the people who are about to be hurt, maybe killed, right now. Which is a great perspective for a doctor to have, and an important perspective for a captain to keep in mind, but it could never be the only perspective for a captain.

McCoy’s viewpoint is a very important one in the Watsonian sense that it’s useful for Kirk and in the Doylist sense that it contributes to the specific tone that TOS wanted to achieve. But it’s a viewpoint that has to be balanced for it to be effective both practically speaking and in story-telling terms. AOS missed that balance; by putting all their emphasis on Kirk and Spock being opposites they made McCoy more or less redundant. Which is a crying shame, because it’s an unforgivable waste of Karl Urban’s goddamn amazing performance. The thought of what he could have done if he’d had something more to work with is heartbreaking to me.

But McCoy goes unappreciated far too often in general. You know I once went looking for a TOS McCoy Funko Pop and they didn’t have one? They had a generic Andorian but they didn’t have McCoy. It’s an outrage! I had to make my own out of a Munny.

[kanasmusings]

[Translation] Satsuki Aoi “Reincarnation” Drama Track 1

IT IS FINALLY TIME FOR MY BEST TSUKIUTA BOY!!! Here’s the translation for Aoi’s drama track~! It is a bit more light-hearted compared to Arata’s but this is only the beginning XD The second track gets uh... wilder  <(￣︶￣)>

Infinit0 Radio subs are up next~! 

※ Please don’t re-post the English translations without permission. Please just like/reblog them instead ^^

Oh! And if you can, please do consider buying the CD here to support the artists ^^

Under the cut, enjoy~!

Track 01: [葵くん、事件です] “Aoi-kun, there’s been an incident.”

  [0:00]

 AOI: Ah~ I’m so healed~!

AOI: Yamato, does it feel good?

YAMATO: (meows)

AOI: That’s great~! You look cleaner now, huh?

YAMATO: (meows)

AOI: This is my happy healing time~

ARATA: The Trimming Prince is magnificently being healed while trimming [the animals], huh.

AOI: I really am~

AOI: Lately, I’ve been running around here and there so it’s been a while since I could feel this fur and warmth.

AOI: (sighs dreamily) The fluffiness is… healing me~

ARATA: Um, Aoi. Can I take a picture?

ARATA: Since we’re here, I wanna share the healing time with the fans, too.

AOI: Fine by me but, please make sure to take Yamato’s good side.

ARATA: That’s what you’re worried about?

AOI: That part’s important. Right, Yamato~?

YAMATO: (purrs)

AOI: Ah, so cute~!

ARATA: Aoi? Aoi-kun? You’re becoming a bit creepy.

AOI: So mean~

AOI: But, it’s fine. There’s no one here. Let me be healed all I want today.

(Aoi’s phone starts vibrating)

ARATA: Hm?

AOI: Huh?

ARATA: Aoi-kun’s phone is ringing. It’s from Tsukishiro-san. Here. (Arata hands Aoi his phone)

AOI: Hm? From Tsukishiro-san? Why?

AOI: Hello, it’s Aoi. Tsukishiro-san, what happened?

KANADE: (on the phone) Ah, I’m so glad you picked up.

KANADE: (on the phone) Aoi-kun… There’s been an incident.

AOI: Eh…?

<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

[01:50]

  AOI: (in a panic) Please believe me, Tsukishiro-san!

AOI: I’m innocent!! That’s the wrong person!!

KANADE: …! O-oh…!

ARATA: Aoi, there, there. (Arata pats Aoi’s back) Calm down, okay?

ARATA: Tsukishiro-san’s getting scared.

AOI: No, I mean…! I’m…! IT’S NOT!! I can’t calm down--!! I…! I’M…!

AOI: I didn’t go on a shopping district date!!

AOI: I DIDN’T!! I definitely didn’t!!

ARATA: That’s what he said, Tsukishiro-san.

KANADE: A-ah… Yes…

ARATA: We got a glimpse of a never before seen flustered Aoi so, I feel like it would be a bit of waste but…

ARATA: To put it simply… Can you tell us the details of this “Satsuki Aoi’s Heart Throbbing (Star Mark) Late-night Shopping District Date!” article? (1)

AOI: Arata!! You’re totally enjoying this, aren’t you?!

ARATA: No, no, Aoi. The only choice is to be interested since we’re already here, ya know?

ARATA: Gravi’s Prince, Satsuki Aoi, went on a late-night shopping district… (Arata starts snickering) d-date…!

ARATA: Ah, I don’t really care but, the words “shopping district date” sounds a bit old, doesn’t it?

AOI: (Aoi starts hitting the table) I! Honest-to-goodness! Do! NOT! Care!

KANADE: There, there, Aoi-kun. Please calm down.

KANADE: Please don’t tease him, too, Arata-kun.

<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

[03:13]

 KANADE: Here you go. (Kanade hands Aoi some tea) Have some warm tea to help yourself calm down.

AOI: Th-thank you very much…

AOI: (sighs)

ARATA: So, this whole riot was started by some random person’s tweet?

KANADE: Yes. A guy who looks like Aoi-kun was seen being friendly with two girls along the shopping district late at night.

KANADE: So, the real talk was about “Is it really him?”

KANADE: There is a picture of the person in question and at a glance, it does look like Aoi-kun in a disguise.

ARATA: Heh~ Then, he’s a hot guy?

KANADE: (laughs) That’s true.

KANADE: Though, considering the lighting, the angle, and the camera’s quality, it might not really be him.

KANADE: In any case, there seems to be a lot of people who believe that it’s not him, too.

KANADE: The opinions seem to be slightly scattered.

AOI: By “slightly,” how many people are you talking about…?

KANADE: According to our confirmed information, it’s about one million.

AOI: …! That’s reached quite a lot of people, huh…

ARATA: It might escalate from here on, too.

ARATA: It must be hard being popular, huh, Aoi-kun?

AOI: I’ll upload a picture of your weird bed hair later, Arata…!

ARATA: What kind of revenge is that?

KANADE: It’s okay, Aoi-kun.

KANADE: Just like I said a while ago, even the agency itself has looked into and confirmed that the person in the picture is not Aoi-kun himself.

KANADE: On the day the picture was uploaded, you were unmistakably together with me, Kakeru-kun, and Yoru-kun, weren’t you?

AOI: Y-yes…! After the interview, the four of us went out to eat with the staff. And Tsukishiro-san took us all the way back to the dorm.

AOI: You did, right…?

KANADE: Yes.

ARATA: (disappointed) Oh, really?

AOI: A-ra-ta…!

ARATA: Sorry, sorry~ I was joking.

KANADE: Of course, there is a possibility of you sneaking out of the dorm late at night but…

AOI: Tsukishiro-san!?

KANADE: (laughs) I’m so sorry, I was just joking as well.

KANADE: I know that Aoi-kun’s not the type to do something like that. And I trust you.

KANADE: The dorm’s security cameras didn’t catch you outside the dorm either.

ARATA: Oh? You check the security cameras even though you believe him?

KANADE: Yes. You might think it a bit uncomfortable but, please do understand that it’s a necessary step for us to be able to protect you.

KANADE: In the case that the situation blows up, they can generally be used to help prove our side.

AOI: If the situation blows up…?

KANADE: Ah, please don’t worry. It really is only a “what-if” situation.

KANADE: The agency and I, as well as the fans, know that Aoi-kun’s not that type of person. But, we can’t deny that there are people who would find it interesting to make a big deal out of this.

ARATA: So, we can assume that he’s popular enough to cause a big topic out of a misunderstanding?

KANADE: That’s right. I guess that’s a positive way of looking at it.

AOI: (sighs) I’m at a loss…

KANADE: It is part of a celebrity’s job to be made rumors about or to be filmed [without their knowledge] but… It must be difficult at times like this, isn’t it?

AOI: Yes…

<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

[06:43]

 KANADE: Everyone in Gravi and Procella will be getting a brief announcement from Kurotsuki and I after this.

KANADE: That, even though we know the truth, it might still be a bit of an uproar.

AOI: I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble…

KANADE: Ah, no, no. This is my job after all.

KANADE: In the first place, it’s not Aoi-kun’s fault.

AOI: Maybe I should have talked about this with Hajime-san in person…

ARATA: Ah, that might be true.

KANADE: Ah, I’m so sorry. Even though Hajime-kun is your leader, after you talked to him on the phone, I still did explain it to him myself.

KANADE: I did meet him for a different matter today, too, so it just came up.

AOI: A-ah, by the way… Can I ask how he reacted…?

KANADE: Eh? Ah… Hajime-kun was, um…

ARATA: Ah! Could it be that he was kinda angry? Like, he was feeling vulnerable?

AOI: It’s not me so there’s no reason for him to be angry, right…?

AOI: But… It is true that there was an uproar because of my name…

KANADE: Ah, please rest assured. He wasn’t angry at all.

KANADE: Rather, he was…

AOI: He was…?

KANADE: After seeing the headline on the website Arata-kun was looking at, he…

KANADE: He burst out laughing…

AOI: Hajime-san?!

ARATA: Hajime-san’s sense of humor is pretty shallow sometimes, huh…

ARATA: Isn’t that nice, Aoi?

AOI: I can’t tell if it’s good or bad… I didn’t do anything but, I feel like I’m getting more and more embarrassed now…

AOI: (sighs)

ARATA: But, Aoi-kun’s luck is pretty bad, huh? Just when you thought you’re just going home from work, someone who looks like you causes a huge scandal.

AOI: That’s true… I want someone to take care of me…

AOI: I wanna go back to the dorms right now and have all the animals surround me so I can scream while being surrounded by all that fluff…!

AOI: ALL THAT FLUFF!!!

ARATA: Just their fur, okay?

ARATA: But, man… This guy here really looks exactly like Ao—Hm?!

KANADE: Hm?

ARATA: He really does look like you, you know? A spitting image of Aoi.

ARATA: Speaking of someone who looks like Aoi…

AOI: Arata, can you show it to me on a bigger screen?

AOI: I avoided looking at the picture after all so…

ARATA: Wait… Look, it’s this. (Arata shows Aoi the picture) This profile view is…

ARATA/AOI: CHI-CHAN?!

 ==END==

<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

Translator’s Notes:

(1) The (Star Mark) part is actually said by Arata as is LMAO. The exact line he says is 「葵くんのドキドキ星マーク深夜の繫華街デート！/Aoi-kun no dokidoki hoshi maaku shinya no hankagai deeto.」

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