#and if i write and complete a gale fic before i finish any of my half-done astarion ones....

[nevarran-hahren]

I have a semi-spicy bg3 fic a'brewing in my google docs, let's see if I can actually get anywhere past plotting it out, lol. I have several other unfinished fics that never fully extracted themselves from my fickle adhd brain, so send me all the creative vibes you can

[sansaorgana]

Girl!Dad Gale on his day off and his wife finds him and their kid playing tea party with Gale as the newest princess of the land

hello, dear! 😍 you have no idea how happy this request made me and how much fun I had writing this 😌 I literally didn't want to stop writing, that's how much I got into this little domestic scenario with Buck 😂

[ PART TWO ]

my inbox is open for blurb/short fic requests for major cleven ���

You had a busy day and you hated it because it happened to be a day off for Buck. He rarely had weekdays completely off and you wished you could just enjoy some time together as a family but you had to pick up some shopping orders from town and you had a doctor’s appointment, too.

“Are you sure you can do that?” You asked Buck as you were putting a coat on in a hurry, checking the clock on the wall with the corner of your eye. Your bus would leave in less than ten minutes.

“It’s not the first time for me” Buck chuckled and adjusted little Peggy on his hip. Well, she wasn’t that little. She would be four soon. The time flied way too fast.

“Okay, okay, see you later then. I’ll warm up dinner when I'm back but you can make sandwiches in the meantime,” you leaned in to kiss him on the cheek and kiss your baby girls’ forehead before leaving in a hurry.

Buck approached the window and watched you cross the street to disappear behind the corner.

“Are you going to wave mummy goodbye?” He asked the little girl in his arms and she giggled before waving her hand. “Good girl,” he kissed her cheek. “What do you want to do now?” He asked.

“I want to play with dolls,” her eyes sparkled at the idea. “Like I do with mummy.”

“Alright,” Buck nodded. He was rarely playing with dolls. In fact, almost never.

So when he took Peggy upstairs to her room, he started to look around awkwardly, not knowing where the dolls were. But Peggy was already unpacking one of the boxes and putting the dolls and their clothes on the carpet. Buck sat down and watched his little girl in awe. She was so sweet and so pretty and so smart for her age. Of course all children were like that in their parents’ eyes.

“And what now?” He asked when all the dolls and clothes were already on the carpet.

“You choose the doll you want to play with,” she sighed, a little irritated that she has to explain such basic things.

“I want this one,” he picked up the one with golden hair. “Can I?”

“You chose this one because she’s got hair like yours,” his little girl giggled and he realised that she was right. He didn’t even think of that.

“And which one are you choosing?” He asked her.

“This one,” she pointed at the doll looking the most like her mum. Buck smiled to himself and nodded his head. Then he took a better look at his doll. It didn’t have any clothes on. “Do we choose clothes now?” He asked.

“Yes! It’s the best part, daddy!” Peggy clapped her hands and Buck reached his hand out to grab one of the dresses. She pouted. “No! Not this one, daddy! I want this one!”

“But I chose it first,” he teased.

“It’s my favourite dress!” She gave him puppy eyes and he gave the dress to her. 

“What do we say?”

“Thank you,” she giggled and began to dress her doll.

Buck chose a different dress and wanted to put it on his doll as well but he was doing it clumsily. He didn’t expect it to be actually quite difficult.

“You’re so clumsy, daddy,” Peggy laughed and took the doll from him to finish dressing her up.

“Not with everything,” Buck protested.

“Really?” She looked up at him as if she couldn’t believe that.

“Well, remember how I fixed the stove the other day?” He tried to remind her.

“Ah, that,” she shrugged her arms and he tried very hard not to laugh at her reaction.

However, he still wanted to impress his little girl.

“And before you were born, daddy was a pilot,” he told her.

“A pilot? What’s that?” She asked, not really interested.

“I was flying planes,” he explained and she looked at him again.

Peggy tilted her head and her eyes widened.

“Like the one we were on last summer?” She asked.

“Not exactly,” Buck caressed her hair and tried to find the right words. “Mine were smaller.”

“Why?”

“There are different kinds of planes. Some planes are to take people from one place to another and other planes…” His voice broke. “Nevermind,” he finished, angry at himself for even starting the subject.

“Okay,” thankfully Peggy only shrugged her arms. “But you are clumsy, daddy. Otherwise you wouldn’t have so many scars. Even on your face,” she chuckled.

Buck smiled sadly at her. He couldn’t tell her now, she was too young to understand. And too young to realise she hurt him with her words. But he wasn’t angry at her. He would never be angry at his little girl. If she had known, she would never say that.

“Yes, I suppose I am clumsy sometimes,” he decided to agree. “What do we do with these dolls?” He changed the subject quickly and grabbed his doll.

“With mummy, we sometimes make tea parties for the dolls and us,” Peggy said.

“We can do that,” Buck nodded his head.

“You have to help me, daddy. The box with tea cups and plates is up there,” she pointed at the box on the top shelf. “Mummy doesn’t want me to play with them without her around because it was expensive.”

“Ah, yes,” Buck chuckled as he stood up. He remembered that purchase well. He reached out for the box and Peggy gasped. “What is it?”

“Nothing, daddy. I was scared you’d drop it,” she giggled and he sighed. She would now call him clumsy all the time for the next few weeks.

He placed the box down carefully and they began to take out all the cups and plates.

“Should I make real tea?” He asked Peggy.

“Don’t be silly, daddy. It’s just play pretend!” His daughter scolded him. “Anyway, we need a Princess. The tea parties are for the Princess.”

“So, for you?” Buck smiled at her.

“No, usually it’s mummy,” she explained.

“But today it can be you,” he proposed.

“But I don’t want to be a Princess. I want to be a fairy,” she pouted. “You have to be the Princess, daddy,” she insisted.

Buck blushed. He knew that they were home alone and no one would see him like this but it still felt odd to become a Princess. Even for a play pretend with his daughter. He wanted to make her happy, though. So he shyly nodded his head to agree.

She clapped her hands, excited and she got up to give him a loving hug. Then she handed him a crown made of paper that had also been in the box with the cups and plates.

“Mummy made it,” Peggy said. “Be careful, don’t break it,” she added and placed it on Buck’s head.

You entered the house and took your coat off quietly. You didn’t want to make any noise because it was around that time when Peggy should be napping and you assumed Buck was either reading something for work at that time or napping with her. You fixed your ruffled hair in the mirror and quietly went upstairs to check on your daughter first.

But walking the stairs, you already heard her soft giggles and Buck’s voice. You sighed. He had to forget about her nap time.

You opened the door to Peggy’s room and widened your eyes at the sight you had never expected to witness. Your husband – Major Cleven, the war hero – was sitting on the carpet surrounded by dolls with a tiny cup in his hand and a paper crown on his head.

When Peggy was born, you were afraid that he would actually prefer a son. He could talk to him about the planes and all the other things that men found interesting. You were afraid that Buck wouldn’t get into the girly things as much. And he was often awkward about them. When you were picking birthday presents for Peggy or taking her to the events for little girls, he was always visibly out of place. He wasn’t a bad dad – far from that! He would die for his little girl as he was absolutely mesmerised by her. She had him wrapped around her little finger in a way that sometimes was even making you feel slightly jealous. But you would never expect him to actually have a tea party as a Princess.

“What… What is happening here?” You burst out with laughter and Buck blushed. “Oh, what a lovely sight,” you added and you sat down on the carpet, too. “Who’s the fairest Princess of the land?” You teased.

“Daddy is!” Peggy answered and ran up to you to give you a hug. You kissed the top of her head. “Guess what Princess daddy is?”

“Princess Handsome?” You joked and she winced at that. “Princess Brave?” You tried again and she shook her head. “What then?”

“Princess Clumsy!” Peggy giggled and you furrowed your brows.

“But daddy is not clumsy,” you protested. “I’d say he is the opposite.”

Buck took his paper crown off and tried to put it on your head but you pushed his hand away gently.

“It’s yours today, Your Royal Highness,” you grinned at him and he sighed, putting the paper crown back.

“He is clumsy! Look!” Peggy approached her daddy and pointed at one of the scars on his cheeks. She giggled.

“Oh,” you gasped. Your smile dropped and you didn’t know what to say. “But…”

“Don’t,” Gale shook his head. “It’s fine,” he assured you.

But for you it wasn’t fine.

“Daddy doesn’t have scars because he is clumsy,” you tried to explain softly.

“No?” Peggy bit on her fist as her eyes widened. She looked at Buck, surprised.

“Daddy has them because… Because he was very brave,” you added.

“(Y/N), enough,” Buck whispered.

“Like a superhero,” you finished.

“Really?!” Peggy gasped.

“Hardly,” Buck laughed nervously. “I’m not a superhero.”

“I’m sorry for saying you’re clumsy!” Peggy put her hands around his neck and hugged him tight. “Why didn’t you tell me that you’re a superhero?!”

“Because it’s a secret, dollie,” he tried to explain and rubbed her back. He gave you a scolding look and you rolled your eyes.

You knew that Buck didn’t like to be called a hero. To him, all his achievements were just a duty. Something that had to be done to serve his country. And he didn’t feel proud of killing people either.

But you couldn’t let your own daughter bully him for the next few weeks about something like that. Even if she didn’t mean it in a bad way. She loved her daddy but he was too soft with her and she would often take advantage of it and tease him a lot.

“Anyway,” you cleared your throat, “Princess Daddy forgot that it’s Peggy’s nap time.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Buck stood up with Peggy in his arms to carry her to bed.

“No! I’m not sleepy, no!” She protested and he chuckled. 

You began to slowly put all the dolls and cups back into the boxes.

“You have to, sweetheart,” Buck insisted and she sighed, defeated.

He put her down and sat on the edge of the bed as you continued to clean the mess from the carpet. Buck was telling Peggy a story about some knight and a fairy – because she preferred to be a fairy these days – and you put a blanket over your baby girl before taking the crown off of his head gently and putting it back into the box.

“She’s asleep now,” you whispered as you stood behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Come with me, I have to tell you something,” you tried not to smile too widely to hide your excitement and not spoil the revelation too fast.

He looked up at you, confused. You took him by his hand and dragged him out of the room and then into your bedroom.

“What’s going on?” He asked as he closed the door behind him.

“Well,” you started and your eyes sparkled. You were so happy you felt as if you were about to explode, “I have exciting news.”

Buck approached you, confused. God, he looked so adorable, still blushing a little and with his hair ruffled from that paper crown.

“I’m pregnant,” you nearly screamed and then you shut your mouth with your hand, scared you would wake Peggy up.

At first he didn’t react as if he needed a moment to understand the meaning of your words. And then his whole face lightened up as he gave you a wide, sweet smile.

He picked you up and spun you around as you giggled softly.

“Put me down, I’m getting sick,” you laughed and he obeyed instantly. “Thank you,” you breathed out. You fixed his hair and brought his face closer to yours. “Maybe this time it will be a boy,” you whispered.

“Maybe,” Buck pulled you closer by your waist. “Maybe not,” he added. “I don’t mind being a Princess sometimes.”

“Really?” You burst out laughing at him saying that. He nodded, seriously.

“I’d do everything to see my girls smile.”

MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST

[jessiemeows]

Underdark Trysts

A/N: Hello! Although I am holding off on my long fic. I decided I want to write more little drabbles that I believe I'll eventually add to my long fic. I want to let everyone know I never really written anything with smut so this is my first time lol. I hope it's at least decent enough. I made this in Astarion's POV because throughout my upcoming fic I want it to be divided from Eris' prespective and Astarion's :)

R: E for explicit!!

Content Warning: fingering, PIV, cum inside without protection, hints of him maybe becoming overly jealous?? a little too dominant at one point

Word Count: 1300

Pairing: Spawn Astarion x F! Dark Urge Tiefling, My OC Eris, Selunite Cleric/Paladin

Summary: After completing the Soverign Spaw's quest to rid the rot of duergar that killed his young, Eris and Astarion are looting a small hut together. Astarion gets turned on and wants to have a quickie. His simple plan fell apart weeks ago (even before the tiefling party) but he's refusing to realize it and keeps blaming his tadpole for any feelings he gets.

Eris scrunched up her face, nose twitching in distaste. "Ugh, do these duergar eat anything but mushrooms?" She rummaged through wicker baskets and rotted crates, her eyes scanning for anything of use. Astarion stood with his arms crossed, his lean frame leaning casually against the rough-hewn wooden planks, a small smile playing on his lips as he watched her and her furry friend, Scratch search the hut. A short respite after he and his companions had just finished defeating a group of Absolute-worshiping duergar who had slain the young myconid followers of Sovereign Spaw, and were forced to kill the rogue myconid Sovereign Glut, who had sought to overthrow Spaw. 

Astarion chuckled, shaking his head. "I don't know, darling, we are in the Underdark. I'm pretty sure that's all they eat."

Eris spun around, a pouty look on her face. "Well, it's gross. I don't think I've ever liked mushrooms and that's saying something since I don't remember much. One of these days I hope we can find a nice dessert. Maybe a chocolate fudge cake!"

Astarion's smile grew. "Hmmm, I'm not sure that will happen, my sweet but maybe." He couldn't help but find her pout adorable.

Eris turned back to face a couple of shelves, but they were just out of her reach. "A little help?" she pleaded, looking back at Astarion. He snorted and sauntered over, pulling down the book and holding it just out of her reach. "Go on, take it."

Eris glared at him. "Astarion, I swear by the moonmaiden’s grace I will smite you if you don't give it to me." He laughed and relented, handing her the book. "thank you" she muttered, rolling her eyes and stashing the book in her bag of holding. Scratch followed her as she moved to the next area of the small hut.

Astarion's breath caught as he drank in the sight of her. The warm glow of the mushrooms illuminated her freckled now blood-stained skin and fiery red eyes. Her blood soaked low-cut armor and form-fitting corset accentuated the swell of her breasts, just staring at her he could feel his trousers begin to tighten as his arousal grew... He needed her. Now. Straining to listen, he heard the others down by the Ebonlake. Lae'zel and Shadowheart were arguing about the artifact yet again, while Karlach, Wyll, and Gale discussed what they suspected lay across the lake - likely more Absolute cultists. This was wonderful because no one was paying any attention to the two of them.

He turned to her, trying to sound casual. "Darling, turn around I found something." Eris spun around, curiosity in her eyes. And then his lips were on hers, needy and demanding. Without hesitation, he let his hands wander down her waist and firmly grasped her ass, giving it a gentle squeeze. He could tell she was startled, but she leaned into the kiss, letting out a little giggle at his eagerness. 

"Astarion," she warned, but he deepened the kiss. "They are all busy, no one will know," he muttered against her lips. He trailed kisses down her neck, feeling the slight bumps of the bite scars he had left the previous night during their nightly trysts, when he drank her blood. Gods, she was so sweet, allowing him to drink from her each night. He was fortunate she was a cleric, and that he gifted her the amulet of Silvanus back at the grove or she would have been left exhausted every day. A soft moan escaped her as he kissed her collarbone, his hands squeezing her breasts.

"Shhh, pet, as much as I adore your sweet moans, those sounds are meant for my ears alone. But, do you want more?" he whispered against her skin. She nodded and he pulled back, looking at her. "hmmm what was that? I'll need words, little love."

Astarion smiled as Eris whispered, "Yes, please, Starry, I want more." He pressed his lips against her skin, then murmured, "Good girl."

Astarion swiftly scooped up Eris and placed her on a somewhat stable, broken desk. He shooed away Scratch without delay. With deft fingers, Astarion quickly unlaced and pulled down Eris' trousers and pink laced underwear. Eris was already so wet, but Astarion wanted her to beg just a little more. His icy fingers found their way into her folds, pumping slowly inside her, moving rhythmically. As he kissed her neck he quickened his pace. Hearing her quiet whimpers, he paused the kisses to see Eris concentrating on not being too loud.

Astarion placed his free hand over Eris' mouth. "Moan for me, my little moon. I'll make sure no one hears you," he whispered smugly. He savored watching the writhing tiefling submit to his dominance, reveling in her willing surrender. Only he was allowed to do this, no one else- not Gale, not Wyll, not Lae'zel, no other tiefling that had hit on her back at the grove, only him. His simple plan was succeeding tremendously.

"A-Astarion," Eris mumbled through his fingers. 

"Yes, love?" Astarion cooed. "I need you to use your words. You know how dearly I adore your sweet voice."

Eris struggled to force out the words, "P-please.". 

"Love, I don't know what you want," Astarion teased. Eris pleaded, "I want you, Starry. Please, I need you."

He wasted no time unlacing his own trousers and pulling Eris close. With a covetous murmur, "Only because you asked so sweetly," he plunged his hard, aching cock into her folds. Eris squealed, but Astarion quickly covered her mouth to stifle the sound. He began thrusting slowly, allowing her to adjust to his length, before gradually picking up the pace, pounding into her harder. Eris' tail curled around his leg as her long nails gripped the collar of his jacket.

Astarion could feel Eris's body tightening around him as they neared climax. Her fingers were now wrapped his curls. "Fuck, you feel so good," he muttered breathlessly. His thrusts grew sloppy and ragged as he reached his release inside her.

Both breathing heavily he rested his head against her shoulder, still inside her. She played with his curls, then gave him a small but sweet kiss on his forehead, just as she had done back at the tiefling party. That simple gesture grounded him, keeping his mind from wandering as it had then. He didn't want to wander; he wanted to savor this time with her, for he truly enjoyed it. Cazador wouldn't whisk away this sweet, lost, murderous fool of a selunite. They were both safe. 

Astarions ears perked up when he heard soft foot steps moving closer to them, giving Eris a nervous look the two quickly jumped apart, hurriedly pulling their pants back up and trying to look nonchalant. Shadowheart entered the doorway, saying, "Hey, are you guys almost done looking around in here? The rest of us are ready to head back to camp. I don't know about you, but I need a bath after that Mushroom got his guts all over me."

"Haha! Yes, we're done. Just give me a minute to organize my bag, and we'll be out," Eris replied quickly, her face flushed with embarrassment. Astarion chuckled to himself, amused by her discomfort.

"Okay, I'll be out here with Gale. The other three have already started making their way back," Shadowheart said, her confused expression clearly indicating she didn't want to know what had just happened. With that, she left the doorframe.

Astarion looked at Eris smugly, teasing, "Look at you, you little minx of a Selunite, lying to your best friend. Maybe the Sharran and I are bad influences on you."

Eris lightly punched his arm. "I really don't think she wants to know what just happened," she teased back.

"Probably not. Alright, let's go, before you make me want to go for another round," Astarion said, his voice low and seductive.

Eris walked through the doors ahead of him, and Astarion paused for a moment, his stomach filled with butterflies. He quickly shook off the feeling and followed Eris, muttering, "Stupid tadpole is playing tricks again."

[commander-rahrah]

Talking to the Moon: Part V

Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader Word Count: ~6200 Warnings: emotional hurt/comfort, arranged marriage, slight family angst aka daddy issues? I'm terrible at these

archiveofourown: here

masterlist: here

part I: here part II: here part III: here part IV: here

Summary: Set at the end of Act II, after Moonrise Towers and Kethric. Reader/Tav leans on Astarion and reveals more about their family and their story from before the Nautiloid.

Notes: I've emerged from my cave I made on the couch in my basement and finally finished this update! I got bronchitis a week or so ago and it kicked my booty, but I'm finally feeling better!! YAY! I have no voice still, but good thing I don't need that to write fanfiction!

So this update reveals more of our Selune blessed Tav's backstory that is based off my original D&D character. I was really hung up on whether or not I should include more backstory and lore for this GN!Tav/Reader, since it isn't very typical for a lot of the gn!reader fics I've read. But it was giving me such writers block if I did not include it, as I honestly have the rest of this fic completely planned out and the endgame I have for this pairing relies on more of this backstory, so I decided to include it! Also, its my fic… and my character sooo I hope you enjoy my baby and the little story I wrote for them five years ago. This character will have a special place in my heart forever, and I'm excited to share more of them with you all!

I also desperately wanted to include a scene of Astarion and Tav/Reader kissing for the first time since his confession and them setting boundaries about physical intimacy and contact. I know the game just lets you click the kiss option right away, but I like to think its something that Astarion would build himself up to again and would maybe even have to relearn — not kissing like it was a performance, but instead an expression.

Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts! It means so much to me and every time I see a notification! It fills me with infinite joy ♡♡♡ I know there is lots of posts circulating about this and tags get filled with it, but reblogs and comments are so so appreciated!! :)

·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨

He wasn’t sure how you did it. Astarion was exhausted, beyond that actually — shattered. His feet were stiff and aching, his mind fuzzy with weariness. Yet you were still smiling, accepting the gratitude of every single person at the Last Light Inn with humble nods and smiles. He’d never had a longer day in his life. The temple, the Shadowfell, Shadowheart, Moonrise Towers, the goddamn Absolute. Gale... Gods, you had talked down Gale from fulfilling the desire and demands of an actual goddess. All in one day. All he wanted to do was to fall into a bed with you, and sleep. To just pretend for one moment that there wasn’t any marching armies or impending vampire masters waiting in Baldur's Gate. To ignore the thrum of anxiety and fear that coursed through him as he remembered exactly what was carved into his back — what Raphael had finally revealed to him. Just for today, he had wanted to rest. But no — the end of this never ending day was to finish with a celebration. An annoying, lively celebration.  The vampire was being stereotypical as ever — standing in a shadowy corner, moody and silent as he nursed a red glass. It was wine. Gale had found a decadent bottle, buried away and forgotten about on some dusty shelf. The wizard had made an eloquent toast to the group gathered on the bottom floor of the inn. But he was now standing with Wyll — the two of them conversing politely with a pair of obviously flirtatious tieflings. Karlach had her arm wrapped around Damon, the two of them chatting enthusiastically and laughing.  Astarion was surprised to not see Shadowheart by Karlach — the two of them inseparable as of late. No, what was more shocking was that the dark-haired cleric was sat next to Lae’zel. Their mouths barely opening as they spoke to each other in low voices, buried under the noise of the celebration in the inn.  He almost choked on the sip he had just taken as his red eyes finally returned to you — where several people were forming a makeshift line to speak with you. The next one more bashful than the last as they leaned in to speak with you, all flushed cheeks and batting eyelashes.  You always had a certain charm about you, an innate ability to draw out easy smiles and laughs from others. You were also undeniably attractive — anyone who said otherwise would be a blind idiot. But other people being enraptured by you had never bothered him before. He had just silently agreed with them — that yes, you were indeed a prize like no other.  But you were his now, weren’t you? As he was yours. Even without the label or words that he still couldn’t figure out how to say. That he was too afraid to say. Regardless, why were you entertaining these fools?

He'd not felt this before — was it jealousy? Gods, he was being like a petulant child who didn't want to share their toy. You were a person, you could make your own decisions. That was the entire point of all of this. 

What was he going to do — follow you around like a lost puppy? Drape himself over you, clutch onto you like a coat so others would see he was with you? 

You must have felt his red eyes piercing through you as you suddenly flicked your eyes over to meet his gaze. Your face instantly brightened, a smile tugging on your lips. An overwhelming sense of relief went through him as you waved apologetically to the small group in front of you, before weaving your way over to his dark corner. 

"Yes, darling?" He drawled as you approached, trying to hide any emotion betraying on his face as he tipped his wine glass in front of it and took another sip. 

"Why are you hiding away in this corner? Not feeling like being paraded around like a hero?" You said sarcastically. 

Astarion rolled his eyes at you, replying dryly, "I am many things, but a hero, I am not."

You leaned in conspiratorially, lowering your voice until it was just a whisper. "I would beg to differ. But you have a reputation to uphold, don't you?"

He barked out a laugh, before flicking you in the nose gently. "You cheeky pup." 

"Ow." You feigned, scrunching your face up at him. "That hurt." 

A wave of courage swept through him as he pushed back the little voice in his head. He leaned forward and pecked his lips onto the tip of your nose. He hoped the tingle that spread across his lips as they met your skin would spread to you. It seemed it did as your skin then flashed a delicious, brilliant shade from surprise. A tiny squeak even escaped you, your eyebrows shooting up. 

You had not kissed, not since his confession. Not since all of this had started. Not a brush of lips against hands or cheeks, nothing. The look on your face and the sudden increase in the thrum of your heart had him feeling light headed. Did he truly have such an effect on you? 

For a moment, he let his gaze from you lapse as he swept his eyes across the inn. To the disappointed glances of a few partygoers, and the knowing looks of his companions, watching the pair of you interact. 

A flash of gratification went through him, satisfied at the effect he had not just on you but at those who had eyed you before. It squashed the jealously that had made a pit in his stomach, instead twisting it with a new, slowly recognizable feeling. 

"There, all better?" He smirked. 

You let out a breathy laugh, nodding at him. 

Astarion rubbed his lips together, the tingling sensation on them lingering still. "How much longer does the Hero of the Shadowlands need to stay down here?"

You looked over your shoulder to the gathered patrons, the crowd thinning out more and more as the evening faded into a dark, late night. "Bored already?" 

He let out a weary sigh, letting his shoulders droop. "Exhausted, darling. And I know you are too." 

You were always a sight to see, holding a beauty he could have never imagined or conjured up in his head. But he could see the purple circles under your eyes, the usual sparkle in them had long gone dull. 

Your eyes flickered to your boots, nodding your head in defeat. "You're right." 

"I believe they have set some rooms aside for us, if you wish—"

"Do you?" You caught him off, trying to hide your own eagerness.  

His gaze softened, a smile tugging on his lips, "Very much so."

The pair of you bid goodnight to your companions quietly, subtle nods and waves as they continued their own conversations or headed to their own rooms. Astarion walked slightly behind you on the stairs, his hand resting gently on the small of your back as you led the way.  The path you took was familiar, the worn floor boards creaking before you were outside the private room the two of you had occupied once before.

Astarion let out a sigh of relief as he closed the door softly behind him, the sounds from the lingering party below muffled and leaving you in a peaceful quiet. But as he found reprieve in finally being alone, you suddenly crumbled.

You dived for the bed, a heartbreaking sob escaping you as your hands covered your face. 

Your name choked out him before he crossed the room quickly and joined you on the edge of the mattress. Gods, what was it about this Inn and room that had you breaking apart on it? "Darling, what's wrong?" He asked, concern etching every feature.

"I- I, didn't-"

He remembered your words earlier today — gods, was that today? How comforting his touch was for you, being reminded of his presence. He placed his hand carefully on your own that was trembling on your thigh as you tried to speak. 

You finally gasped out, "She wasn't there, she wasn't-"

Mol. The little tiefling girl. You had promised those rascal children downstairs you'd find her. And it was you who had told them she wasn't in Moonrise tonight, swallowing deeply as they dipped their heads with disappointment. But you had told them not to give up hope, that she was resourceful and strong. You had sounded so convincing that even he had believed you. 

But here you were, sobbing and breaking apart in front of him. "Oh, sweetheart. Gods, I should have seen this, I'm sorry."

You sniffled, glancing up at him with wide eyes. "Why are you apologizing?"

He gave you a sad smile, his eyes shining with understanding, "I know you better by now. It was a mask you were wearing tonight...," He tucked a stray hair back behind your ear. "I hate it when you wear it."

"I just wanted everyone to be okay, I tried so hard..." Your voice cracked and broke. 

"You've done so much, darling. Look at what we did today, that was because of you." 

You always took care of everyone else. But who took care of you? Astarion thought, perhaps... him. He could… he would.

He had been.

"Oh my little moon, you don't have to carry the world by yourself, you know?" 

You sniffled and nodded, silver still lining the bottoms of your eyes. 

"May I?" He echoed the question you so often asked of him. You'd never touched him without asking the question first. Your consent you'd granted him was a separate conversation, one where you had told him casual, simple touches were okay. A silent conversation and agreement sometimes was exchanged with a look of your eyes. But with him, you had always asked. He thought that now he would return that favor to you, as you opened yourself to him — vulnerable and upset once again on the edge of this mattress. 

He hoped you appreciated the sentiment, as much as he did.

The vampire reached down, hovering his hands over your boots. Your brows furrowed slightly before you were nodding. Your eyes never left his pale fingers as he untied the laces of your boots, gently prying them off before setting them down neatly at the foot of the bed. Then he did the same to his own before he slid his way up the bed, leaning against the headboard before patting the spot next to him. 

"Come here." 

You hesitated, before beginning to scooch over to him. When he opened his arms as a silent invitation you hesitated again. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. Please come here." He nodded solemnly.  

Astarion willed himself to keep steady and clear, drawing a breath he truly did not need. He enveloped you in his arms as you laid next to him, trying to stop his limbs for stiffening. It was all so foreign, it was terrifying. 

But your familiar scent filled his nose, and he could feel the steady rhythm of your heartbeat with your chest pressed to his side. His fingers laxed as you settled into him, bunching into the material of your shirt. Your breaths started calming and eyes fluttering as you laid with him. 

"Is this okay?" You whispered — uncertainty laced every word. 

"I was just going to ask you the same thing."  He said softly, before swallowing thickly. "I don't know what I'm doing." You started to remove your limbs his, but he tightened his hold on you. "Don't, please."

"Astarion if you aren't comfortable—"

"I am, it's not that." He rubbed the soft material of your shirt between his fingers as he spoke, "I want so badly to be this for you, to be what you need. But I don't know how."

You craned your neck up to look at him, "I think you're doing a good job of it."

He looked down at you through his long lashes, "Truly?"

"Yes, Astarion." You sounded genuine, "No one... no one has ever made me feel the way you do."

He let out a sigh of contentment, settling in deeper with you before resting his chin on the top of your head. "I know we have so much left to do... But laying here with you. It makes it worth it."

"Are you scared?" You asked in a whisper. 

"Terrified, actually." He admitted. 

Your thumb rubbed across his stomach in smooth lines back and forth, "I will be with you every step of the way."

"That's part of what makes it all so terrifying." The vampire whispered, "Sometimes, I know that I couldn't do any of this without you by my side. But other times... when Ketheric turned into that thing, that abomination, with you looking so small in front of him..."

"I know." 

Astarion moved his head so he could look at your face, "You were right though." 

"Hmmm?" You hummed. 

"This is nice. Gods, when did I get so soft?" He chuckled, the movement of his chest vibrating your head until you joined him. 

Both of your faces were etched with bliss and contentment as you laid in the bed. On this bed where before he had laid awake, willing himself to fall into a trance, convincing himself to keep his distance from you, trying to protect himself from the inevitably of you. 

Now, you both fell asleep like that, still in your regular attire, wrapped in each other's arms with your head buried on his chest.

The stars caressing their moon. 

• • •

The journey towards Baldur's Gate was turbulent and nerve-wracking while also... hopeful. 

The group was buzzing with energy — the anticipation of returning to Baldur's Gate had made some of your companions restless in more ways then one. 

You were all sat for a short rest, relaxing in a patch of long, green grass just off of the dirt road you were traveling on. It was just your group now, the other parties and groups had begun moving at different paces and times until it was just your familiar companions now. 

Astarion was laid out in the grass, his head resting on your lap and your fingers absent-mindedly playing with his soft, white tresses. His eyes were closed, basking in the glow of the sun that was set high in the sky at this time of day. Occasionally the shadows on his face would bounce as his long lashes flickered, opening his eyes to glance at you with a dreamy expression on his face. 

It made your movements stutter each time you noticed it. But the grip he had on your heart — that was steady and true. He had possessed you in a way you still could not articulate, even all these weeks later. 

But you blinked back to reality as Gale's voice broke the silence. "You're a beautiful couple." 

You looked up, a sheepish smile spreading across your face from being noticed. Astarion craned his neck, his red eyes rolling back to look at the wizard before settling back into your lap with a disinterested look crossing his face. 

"Oh, I'm sorry... I'm made things awkward, haven't I?" Gale mumbled, his hands twirling with the blades of grass in front of him. 

You couldn't help the blush that was spreading across your cheeks at the attention. Especially as you realized the rest of your companions were looking over with small smirks. 

Gale continued as you remained silent, "I just meant that... Well, its nice to see my friends so happy. That's all." 

"Thank you, Gale." Astarion drawled, readjusting himself so he laid deeper on your lap. 

The wizard blinked in surprise, "You're welcome. Are you — is it a secret, or?"

"Not a secret, no." The vampire purred with a shake of his head. 

"We are just taking our time." You finished, a soft smile growing on your face to match the one spreading across Astarion's. 

"Hmm, that's nice." Gale trailed off, a wistful expression on his face. 

Before the silence could really settle in again, the rest of the party started a conversation up. 

"Won't be long now until we get to Baldur's Gate." Wyll said, his face hard to read. 

"Are you nervous?" Karlach stretched her long leg, nudging him in the ankle playfully. 

His mouth scrunched and nose crinkled, "I... I don't know how to feel."

"I can't fucking wait! I'll be able to show you guys my old stomping grounds!" The barbarian said excitedly, falling back dramatically into the grass with her limbs spread wide. She addressed you, shouting up to the blue sky, "What about you, Giggles? Excited to see home again?"

"Oh," Your fingers froze, hovering over Astarion's hair. "I had only lived in the city for just under a year. Home will always be in the north."

"The north? I don't think I've heard you speak of your home much." Shadowheart asked quietly, a quizzical look on her face. 

"I, yes— near the Ice Spires." Your mouth twitched.

"You hail from a noble line, yes?" Gale asked. Everyone was eyeing you with curiosity, even Astarion still stretched out on your lap. His red eyes shifting slightly as he studied you. 

You swallowed, painting on a polite smile before speaking, "My father is a Viscount. He is a formidable figure in the region." 

"Ah." The warlock grimaced, his eyes sad. "Why do I get the feeling our stories are more similar than I realize?"

You bristled. "I'm not exiled or anything... It's just been some time. That's all."

"That's all?" 

A humorless laugh escaped you, "I am a second born child. And my older brother is much more obedient and better suited to the game of politics than I am." You couldn't help the sad, bitter smile that spread across your face. The thought of home stung in more ways then one. 

Astarion noticed how tense you had become, his hand squeezing your knee as he pushed himself up with a dramatic huff. "We are never going to get to the city if we sit here lounging all day." 

You shot him a grateful look, and he gave you the slightest nod in recognition as he offered his hand to lift you up. He did so easily, brushing off blades of grass lingering on you both gently. 

"You were the one complaining not long ago about how long we had been walking for!" Gale said, sounding completely exasperated as Wyll helped him up.   

"Me? I said that? I don't think so." The rogue playfully scoffed, shaking his head so his soft curls bounced dramatically. He looked over his shoulder at you with a conspiratorial smile before stretching his hand out for you. His fingers intertwined with yours easily as he pulled you along the dirt path, away from the questioning and burning curiosity of the rest of the party. 

• • •

Your group finally settled down for the night — picking a small clearing just off of the well-worn, dirt path you had been traveling down. Perhaps the last time you would be sleeping in the wilderness. You would be at Wyrm's Crossing by midafternoon tomorrow. 

Astarion had set up your tent on the edge of camp, attempting to give you both some sense of privacy from your busybody companions. He knew they meant well, that they hadn't meant for this afternoon to turn into an interrogation. That, like him, they were just curious to know more about you. As kind and good you were to all of them, you were still somewhat of a mystery. You had revealed the origins of your powers to the group yes, but you rarely spoke about yourself or your home.

Not even to him. 

The vampire had been content to let it lie. He knew it would come with time — and he certainly couldn't make any demands of you. Not after how gracious and patient you had been with him. But he couldn't deny that part of him wanted to know more. Astarion had somehow become an open book with you — revealing and exploring parts of himself that he had buried down so deep that he was surprised he could find them. 

He worried that it all had been about him for so long. His trauma, his past, his goals. That maybe you had kept parts of yourself hidden away, on the back burner for him. 

You had your back turned to him at the moment, the golden flickering of the candles in the tent illuminating the curve of your spine and freckles across your bare skin. Your muscles stretched and tensed beautifully as you lifted your arms over your head —pulling your nightclothes over yourself as you changed in the corner. It was a boundary that was set much earlier, that he had slowly started making less and less strict. 

He wasn't ready for anything more yet — he knew that. But his red eyes couldn't help but roam your figure. He couldn't help the familiar sensation of want twisting low in his stomach, the twitch of his fingers at his side as he imagined running his fingertips over your soft skin again.  

The smile you gave him as you turned around was dazzling, even in the dim light and tight space of the shared tent. You joined him cross-legged in the center of the tent, both of you not quite ready to go to sleep just yet. 

He picked at his nail for a moment, trying to seem nonchalant as he opened his pink mouth to speak. "So... the Ice Spires?"

You raised a single eyebrow, a hard to read look crossing the rest of your features. "Yes?" 

His fingers continued to fidget in front of him. "It's cold... all the time?"

"Not all the time. Our winters can be brutal though." You said with a scrunched nose. 

"Oh, what a lovely sell. I can't wait to go now!" He said sarcastically. 

"Ha." You laughed dryly, before your voice turned wistful. "It's beautiful honestly... I miss it."

The vampire studied your face as you undoubtedly saw visions of your home in your mind's eye. The edges of his lips curved up as he remembered your promise to take him there one day. He broke you out of your daydream with a quiet cough before he spoke again, "You don't have to tell me, if you don't want. But why did you leave there, darling?"

Your eyes flashed to the floor of the tent, your mouth forming a hardline. "Promise me you won't be upset?" Your voice was barely a whisper. 

His eyebrows furrowed together at your reaction. He took two fingers, dipping them under your chin so you would look up at him. "Why would I be upset? You leaving home for whatever reason is why you are here now. With me."

Your eyes softened with his answer, before you nodded. Yet you still licked your lips nervously before speaking, "Well... you know that Selûne told my mother I would be destined for a different path then the life of nobility. My mother agreed to it all those years ago, both my parents knew and yet... they still hoped they could reel it all back in. That enough etiquette and language lessons would shape me into the perfect child they hoped I would be. But it was never me. I tried for them, I really did. Instead I started to fantasize about the people in our history lessons like they were characters in a book, and I spoke too loud and laughed at the wrong moment at dinner." 

Astarion couldn't help the smile that spread across his face as he imagined you as a child — your face round and soft with innocence, your brilliant smile with missing teeth. The havoc that you would have caused, racing down wealthy halls as you acted out scenes from your books and danced in an empty ballroom with your melodic laugh echoing in the space. A piece of himself he had long forgotten about twinged inside him. He couldn't remember his own childhood anymore — it was lost to the last two hundred years of darkness. But something warmed in him as he dreamed up what yours was like. 

He snapped back to reality as you spoke again. "But I had a duty. I'm the second born, I wasn't being primed to one day take over for our father and run the keep, but I could be used in other ways. I've known of it since I was twelve."

His white brows furrowed again, "Known what?"

"When I became of age I would be married off to secure wealth and political ties with other territories. I'm engaged... technically." You admitted. 

His eyes dropped immediately to your fingers, the several jewels that adorned them from the moment he met you. He had never thought anything of them — thinking they were an artful display of rings that matched your personality and appearance well. But there it was — a golden ring of much higher quality then the rest, with a large ruby sitting in the center of it. Gods, how had he missed that. 

"Oh my gods. I'm a homewrecker." Then he burst out laughing, his head thrown back and his hands holding his stomach as he howled.

"Astarion, you'll wake up half the camp!" You leaned forward and hissed. 

"I'm sorry, I just —" He let out between gasps of breath, "It's so funny. Of course the person I fall for is to be wed to someone else."

You joined his chuckles, shaking your head. "It is like a cliché plotline from some terrible drama."

"It is! Or like a punchline to some joke. Did you hear the one about the vampire and the fiancé?" You both laughed for a moment, before he clutched onto your hand and squeezed it reassuringly.  

"So you aren't upset?" Your voice a whisper again, uncertainty flooded every word. 

"Upset? Darling, why would I be upset?" 

You huffed out an exasperated breath, "Astarion, I just told you I am betrothed to another person."

"And you are on the other side of the continent from them. Not married. And sitting in my tent. Is this why you left?"

Your eyes widened in surprise, "Yes, we planned it all out actually— my betrothed and I." 

"Really?"

You nodded, "They had also spent the last years troubling over it, attempting to delay it for as long as possible." 

"I'm assuming getting kidnapped by mind flayers was not apart of that plan?" He said with a smirk. 

"Definitely not. I so badly wanted to travel, to see the world outside of our keep I'd known my whole life. So... they insisted to my family that they needed a spouse that was learned and well-traveled. That I could enroll in a college to become a more suitable match."

Astarion raised a white brow, "And that worked?"

"It did. I think my father was so desperate for it all to work out that they just agreed."

"And how did you attending a college lead you to Baldur's Gate so many miles away from home?" 

You let out a dry chuckle, "I will say that I did go to the college like I intended. I lasted a week. Just long enough to purchase supplies and stationary from the college before paying for a spot on the next wagon out of Silverymoon." 

"Stationary?"

"I've been sending letters home for the past year, using stationary from the college so my family believes I'm still there studying and being a model citizen." 

He raised his eyebrows, a smirk spreading across his lips. "I'm impressed. That's very conniving... I didn't know you had it in you."

You smiled sheepishly, your fingers twisting in your lap. "I'll admit it was a clever idea. I ran out of supplies about a month before the Nautiloid." 

He pursed his lips as he finally understood, "They haven't heard from you since then?"

You shook your head, "No. I imagine my father has sent some of his men to check on me, and they have long discovered that I took back my tuition deposit and left months and months ago." 

"This whole time we were worried about a vampire master storming our camp, when really it could have been a disgruntled father or worried mother finding us?"

A large exhale left your nose as you shook your head, "Oh, my father would never come himself. He would just send his second-best men and a strongly worded letter ordering me back home. My mother though... I can only imagine how she betrayed and worried she feels." 

The vampire squeezed your hand again before running his thumb along the backs of your knuckles. "Why did you never tell me this?" 

"Astarion, the hardship and abuse that you went through...," Your eyes shined with pain, "My story is nothing compared to yours."

"Your story is not nothing." He shook his head, his voice earnest. "Your story is you — and you are everything. Never spare parts of yourself from me." 

"Even the messy parts that years of etiquette lessons couldn't train away?"

He let out a breathy laugh before smiling at you, "Especially those parts, my lovely moon." 

"You have gone soft on me, Starry." You teased before matching his smile. 

• • •

After another day of travel, you stood in the abandoned castle in Wyrm's Crossing, bracing yourself on the stone wall. The skyline of Baldur's Gate could be seen from here, the distant sound of the bell's ringing heard even from here. 

Your party had finally made it — after all of these weeks. You would walk the familiar cobblestone streets of Baldur's Gate tomorrow. The familiar scents and sounds of vendors and citizens, the bustle and crowds would be so different from the wilderness and forests you had been traveling through. 

The group's energy was buzzing as you settled for camp in the abandoned castle — a strange mixture of excitement and nerves. Astarion hadn't hidden his feelings with you — his anxieties and insecurities surfacing with every step closer and closer to the city limits. With every step closer to Cazador and his ritual. Hundreds of different ideas were bouncing around his head, you could tell. 

Yet your confession to him last night was still replaying in your head, especially as your stared at the ring on your left finger — the red gem catching the light. You weren't sure why you wore it anymore. A habit, you guessed. 

The sound of purposeful, shuffling feet announced that you were no longer alone. Craning your neck you looked over to see the man who normally consumed your thoughts, climbing the stone steps that led up to the falling apart battlements you stood on.

"What are you doing up here, darling?" 

"Just taking a moment."  You admitted as you loosed a heavy breath. "And you?"

"Oh, just over pretending to be interested the idle chat by the fire." Astarion waved his hand, before sliding in next to you. He braced his elbows onto the edge looking out over to the skyline. You watched him take a deep steadying breath, his eyebrow crinkled with worry for a moment. 

You fiddled unconsciously with the golden ring on your left hand as you watched him. The movement caught the vampire's attention, his red eyes snapping to it before looking up at you. He chewed the inside of his lip, before speaking, "Can I ask you a question?"

Your stomach tightened with sudden nerves, "Of course."

"This wedding... Your arranged marriage." 

"Hmm?" You hummed. 

His pale throat bobbed as he swallowed, "Would you have gone through with it? If there was no Nautiloid, no tadpole — none of this. Would you have gone through with the arrangement?"

A heavy sigh escaped you as you pushed your elbows off of the stone edge and stood up, "I would have... I would have tried. It felt inevitable before — inescapable."

He shifted around, so he was facing you — standing to his full height and looking you in the eyes. "And now?" He whispered, his long fingers reaching to brush the insides of your wrist lightly.

"Astarion... I never could have imagined any of this. I spent my whole life fantasizing and daydreaming of an escape and grand adventure. Nothing I've dreamed up has ever come close to being with you. I have fought mind flayers and ogres, refused Gods and marched across the country so that we can keep going. So that we can have a chance. I will take my father's disappointment and wrath for ruining his plans for financial security." 

"Heh — We can add him to the list of people we've angered along the way." He joked, but his eyes were glimmering with unspoken emotion after your declaration. 

You studied the handsome man before you, your lips parting slightly as you took him in. He was radiant in the moonlight, his white hair and pale skin shining. The way his usually sharp eyes softened and rounded as he looked at you.

Gods, you loved him. You had known for sometime now that you did. The words had been crawling up your throat, lingering on your tongue and swirling in your mind for days. But you would be patient for him. 

One side of his pink mouth turned up, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Your head cocked to the side, "Like what?"

"You..." He seemed like he was at a loss for words for a moment. He shook his head at himself, before he admitted in a whisper, "They way you look at me... you make me feel like I'm poetry."

"You are, Astarion." You said simply. Courage suddenly flooded through you. You knew you would be fine, no matter how he answered. You wouldn't dare rush him. But you wanted to ask tonight. "May I — May I kiss you?" 

He blinked in surprise before his red eyes flicked down to your lips and he unconsciously licked his own. Then he locked eyes with you, nodding breathlessly. "Yes," He whispered back, his long lashes fluttering. "Yes."

Moving your hands up slowly and gently, your fingertips gripped the side of his strong jaw. You heard his breath sharpen as you moved your face to meet his — slowly, giving him time and space, allowing him to change his mind and pull away. But he didn't. Instead his eyes closed softly, his head tilting towards yours as he waited for you to kiss him. Then your lips locked as your mouth pressed softly against his, carefully as you waited to see if he would kiss you back. A low noise escaped you as you felt his lips press harder against yours, returning the kiss. 

You had long thought of your first kiss with Astarion in the woods near the Druid's Grove all that time ago. You thought you had memorized the sweet taste of him on your lips, the scent of leather lingering from his armor and groans that made the hairs on your arms stand up. 

But this — this was so different. Not practiced, not ritualistic like he so often said. 

This new first kiss was so painfully soft and tender. He tasted like wine, rosemary and honey. His hair softer then you remembered as your finger toyed with the curled tips at the base of his neck. The happiest of sounds escaped him as he parted his lips for you, allowing you to deepen the kiss as your tongue slid across his teeth. You both stood like that for a moment, relishing in the feeling until you both felt dizzy. Your lips stuck together slightly as you pulled away. His forehead was pushed against yours, like he was no longer content to not be touching you. 

Astarion's eyes were ablaze in the moonlight as he looked at you, his mouth falling open as he caught his breath. "Again. Kiss me, again.” “Starry?” You asked, your brow twitched. “Kiss me. Please. I miss it, I've missed you." One of his hands gripped the tip of your chin as you moved your mouth back towards him, halving the movement as he pulled you back in for another kiss. The other intertwining with yours in between you, squeezing your fingers gently. 

His sharp teeth dug into your bottom lip, causing a shudder to run down your spin. "Slow down, my love." Your groaned out.

"I have — weeks of this — to catch up on." His voice was breathless and he continued to interrupt his own words as he pressed lips to yours over and over. 

You pulled away, studying his face — the skin around his mouth pink from kissing, a slight flush crossing his complexion. But his eyes were fixed on you, filled with want and need. "I'm not going anywhere, Astarion. We have time." 

"Good. " He beamed, resting his forehead on yours again as you both breathed each other in. The two of you silhouetted on the crumpling battlements as you held on to each other for a moment longer.  

Read Part VI here

[mumms-the-word]

Signs, Part 1

Part 1 of Day 6 of the BG3 Fic February Challenge

I wrote something completely different and hated it and then started writing this and wrote...well, too much. So it's in two parts for you! Part 2 is here!

Check out my masterlist of BG3 fics!

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6. Teaching each other how to do something

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It had taken some convincing, but Dani had finally managed it. After days of hard work, preparation, coaxing, cajoling, bribing, blood, sweat, and tears…

She had finally gotten everyone to agree to participate in Game Night.

“It doesn’t have to be every night,” she’d said, “but come on, aren’t you bored some nights? Wouldn’t a game or two be better than whatever else we do?”

Wyll had pointed out that none of them had a deck of cards with them, which was true, and a source of constant disappointment for Dani. She always had a deck of cards back when she was a roving bard. Her fingers were itching to shuffle and cut a deck again, and play her companions for all the money they had.

But until then…

They all sat around the fire, dinner finished and their dishes collected to one side (where of course everyone ignored them and pretended not to know who was on dish duty tonight). While Wyll poked the fire into a warmer blaze, Karlach leaned over to Dani, eyes bright and eager.

“So, soldier,” she said. “You mentioned a game you wanted to teach us?”

“Yes,” Dani said. “It’s a game I used to play with my troupe. We used to play a bunch of games all the time, but this is really the only one I think everyone here would like.”

“Speak for yourself, darling,” Astarion said, crossing his legs and leaning back one on hand. “If it doesn’t involve ritual torture or a dramatic beheading, then I’d be loathe to call it fun.”

“Ha ha,” Dani said, each syllable dripping with sarcasm. “I know for a fact you enjoy a good game of cards, but since we don’t have any…”

“Chk. This is a waste of time,” Lae’zel complained, looking sour. “We could be doing something productive.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Gale said. “Whatever it is, you might enjoy yourself. Or do githyanki not play games for fun?”

“In Creche K’liir—“

Dani held up a hand. “Wait, hold that thought. Let me explain the game before you judge whether you’d hate it or not.”

Lae’zel looked irritated, but no more than usual. She crossed her arms but remained silent, waiting.

“Okay,” Dani said. “I don’t know what other people call this game, but my troupe always called it ‘signs.’”

Karlach gasped, sitting up straighter. “Hang on, I know this game! Where you pass signs around without getting caught?”

Dani grinned. “Exactly.”

“Passing signs?” Shadowheart asked. “What, like secret messages?”

“Kind of. One person will be the hunter, the person on the lookout for where the sign is. Everyone else will try to pass the sign to one another without the hunter catching them. The thing is, everyone has a unique sign, so you have to remember everyone else’s signs too.”

Lae’zel narrowed her eyes. “These…signs…do they serve a purpose? Do they have meaning?”

“Not really? I mean, they determine who has the sign.”

“Bah, you are confusing me.” Lae’zel huffed.

“Think of it like secret messages,” Karlach suggested. “That’s what we did as kids. One person is trying to intercept the ‘message’ before it goes to another person. But you can only send the message, if you have it, by signing to someone else without the first person seeing you. And you can only accept the message by signing that you’ve received it.”

“Like this,” Dani said, facing Karlach. “Here, this will be my sign.” She twisted the spiral earring in her left ear. 

“Got it. I’ll use this.” She held up her thumbs and forefingers, crossed to look like two tiny hearts.

Dani giggled. “I love it. Okay, so if I have the message, and I want to send it to Karlach, then I do her sign.” She made Karlach’s little heart gestures. Karlach responded by mirroring her gesture. “So now Karlach as the message. And if she wants to send it back…” Karlach fiddled with her left ear, as if twisting an earring, which Dani then matched. “Now I have the message again. Make sense?”

“Clear as mud,” Gale said, though he looked amused. “But I suppose any game is best learned by doing, yes?”

“Right. So first things first, what are everyone’s signs?”

It took some thinking, but eventually everyone came up with a sign. Karlach kept her tiny hearts. Wyll mimed making a toast. Gale patted his chest three times. Shadowheart made prayer hands. Astarion wanted to put two fingers spread in a V over his lips and flick out his tongue between them, to the groans of a few of their group. Lae’zel glowered for a moment before settling on her gesture, which was to point to her eyes with her forefinger and pinky, and then point outward, to whoever needed the sign next.

Dani shrugged. It was certainly efficient. “Everyone ready? Karlach, are you fine with being the first hunter?”

“Absolutely, soldier. This’ll be over in a flash!” She rubbed her hands together excitedly and then covered her eyes. Dani stifled a giggle and put a finger over her lips.

She sent the ‘message’ first to Gale, patting her chest three times. He received the message and sent it to Shadowheart, who then sent it to Astarion, who then sent it back to Dani, and so on until at last Dani said, “Okay Karlach, start guessing.”

As Karlach scanned the group, they continued to swap signs, the “message” constantly on the move. Dani, Astarion, and Shadowheart kept themselves aloof, but Lae’zel’s piercing gaze seemed to always follow the “message” no matter where it was.

After two incorrect guesses, Karlach finally whirled on Wyll, pointing right as he made his sign to receive the message. “Wyll! You’ve got it!”

Wyll threw up his hands. “Ah! You got me. That’s was clever, Karlach.”

“Game’s pretty easy when you can trust someone to always keep their eyes on the prize,” she said, hooking a thumb at Lae’zel.

Lae’zel turned her face away. “Chk. Again. I will not be so obvious next time.”

Dani giggled. “Okay. Wyll, you’re the hunter. Let’s go again.”

They played two more rounds before things began to unravel a little. It started with Gale suggesting they spice up the game and add a real message.

“Telepathically, of course,” he said. “We can speak with the tadpoles. What if we come up with a true secret message, and pass that around along with the signs? When we’re found out, we have to reveal the message.”

“If we can remember it,” Shadowheart said. “No doubt it will get warped in all the passing around.”

“Ah but that’s what will make it fun!”

And then Shadowheart suggested making the losers take a swig of alcohol, whatever they had on hand, if they get caught with the sign and the message, to which Astarion and Karlach laughed and agreed. The results soon became chaos.

Messages that began as innocent as “The stars are out tonight” eventually twisted into something like “These farts are out of sight,” which had Karlach laughing so hard when she heard it she immediately gave away that she had the message. And it only got worse from there. Shadowheart and Astarion were the source of many messages that would have made even Dani’s blue-tinted ears turn pink, including messages about the color of someone’s underwear that day and fake confessions about each other’s various “preferences.” 

One message in particular had Gale turning so red Dani thought he’d combust into flame like Karlach. When Dani called him out for having the sign and asked him what it was, he only shook his head. “I-I’m sure I misheard. I can’t even remember it now.” 

No amount of poking or prodding would get him to say it, and everyone else kept smugly quiet as well. Dani admitted defeat and took a second turn as the hunter.

After several rounds had Dani wheezing from laughter, clutching her sides, she finally had to call it quits. “Hells, I can’t breathe,” she gasped, wiping tears from her eyes as the others continued to chuckle or try to catch their own breath. “And here I thought you all would hate me for the game.”

“Nonsense, my dear, there’s nothing more fun that making your friends look the fool,” Astarion said, his own pale cheeks ever so slightly flushed with his amusement.

Wyll wiped a tear from his good eye, still chuckling. “Gods, if we do this again, I hesitate to think what scandalous messages might reach my ears next. Or brain, rather.”

“This is dangerous, using these ghaik tadpoles for mere games,” Lae’zel said, but she didn’t speak with as much conviction as usual. “The signs, however, could prove useful in battle.”

“Oh yeah?” Dani asked. “The next time I see you using your sign in a fight—“ She used her first and last fingers to point to her eyes and then Lae’zel’s, “—I’ll know to connect my tadpole to yours.”

She meant it as a joke, but Lae’zel nodded. “Good. Perhaps we will find some practical use for these signs after all.”

“Just don’t forget me, of course,” Astarion said, once more placing his fingers over his lips. He winked at Lae’zel and flicked his tongue between his fingers. “I want to stay in the loop too.”

“Change your sign, spawn, and I will think about it.”

Dani shook her head, standing to go get herself a drink of water at the river, hoping to cool her laughter-flushed face and body. The others began to break away and return to their tents, too. They looked happier, Dani noticed, which made her happy. She hoped they wouldn’t say no to more game nights in the future. They all deserved a bit of fun.

-----------------------------------------------

BONUS: What would my other Tavs teach??

Ardynn would teach surviving-the-wilderness skills. Trapping, hunting, identifying edible plants and poisonous plants, how to track animals, how to find water, that sort of thing. Listen, the team does pretty good out in the middle of nowhere with Withers to conveniently resurrect them if they eat the wrong berries, but with Ardynn on their team they survive much, much better.

Freyr doesn't teach things, he just assumes you already know everything, and probably know it better than him. If pressed, he can show you how to do random things like one-armed pushups or where to aim if you want to make a clean decapitation on your next victim. He is capable of teaching sound battle strategy, but he probably won't, because he and Minthara are in charge of directing their allies anyway.

Invi...poor child remembers NOTHING. The OG version of this post was going to be all the things the companions teach her, from identifying rotten food vs. good food to Lae'zel fixing her battle stance to Wyll teaching her history, and so on. Ironically one of the few things she does remember, or that is at least ingrained into her body as muscle memory and instinct, is how to draw. Her sketches are precise and very realistic, and she could probably teach you a few art tricks if you asked her. What she doesn't remember is that her particular art skillset is drawing anatomically accurate bodies based on her time as a durge before the tadpole...

[kirbles]

hiiiii, i'd just like to share that i've decided to no longer work on my ascended astarion x god gale fic and i'll explain why under the cut:

i'll just be honest: i dislike this fic a lot. i've had the third/last chapter mostly written but any time i've opened the doc to finish it i just get so overwhelmed. honestly i'd delete it off ao3 if doing so wouldn't upset people.

the story was mostly headcanon, and i had planned/outlined the fic before the epilogue update existed. but even before that patch i was struggling to write chapter 2 so it's not entirely to blame.

i'm just completely detached from the story. my tastes have changed. some of the headcanons i thought up i either changed my mind on or lost interest. it's a struggle to work on this story any longer and with how ch2 ended i don't feel bad about leaving it there.

those in bw tower or in dms who have listened to me vent about how stressed writing this fic has made me wont find this surprising, but i know this fic means a lot to some people who follow me here. i do appreciate the messages and asks about when i planned to work on ch3/update and i really do wish i could, if only for you people.

this isn't an easy decision but it's one i've been considering for a couple months. i've been putting off writing newer ideas i'm more passionate about because i wanted to finish this fic first. but it's so hard to write something i no longer care about.

i have improved my writing since the first chapter and i'm excited to share more bw stories with you all. and i'll definitely write more a!a x g!g fics in future, but more canon compliant since that's what i enjoy the most.

i will always be thankful for the wonderful comments and interest the fic got! but i think i'm ready to move on from it <3 i love you all!

[antiquitea]

𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬!

thank you @john-cleven for the tag! ✨

tagging in @swifty-fox, @trashbag-baby666, @wildbornsiren, @hederasgarden, @blue-aconite, and anyone else who wants to play!

questions and responses under the read more to save your dashboards 😉

how many works do you have on ao3?

thirty-three

what's your total ao3 word count?

167,068

what fandoms do you write for?

i currently write for masters of the air and top gun (86 and maverick).

top five fics by kudos

christmas in brooklyn - bucky barnes / steve rogers (marvel) 430 kudos

these ties that bind - t.j. hammond & douglas hammond (political animals) 317 kudos

you'll find me - bucky barnes / steve rogers (marvel) 246 kudos

let's get tipsy and start a rumour - sidney crosby / evengi malkin (hockey rpf) 217 kudos

under the pretense of yearning - sebastian stan / chris evans (actor rpf) 209 kudos

do you respond to comments?

yes! or at least i do my best to. i always want to respond with something cute and witty, but often can't manage something beyond OMG THANK YOU!!!

what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

gosh, it's definitely a band of brothers fic, either somewhere, a clock is ticking or you should see me in the rain (both dick winters / lewis nixon).

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

a lot of my smut fics have happy endings ifyouknowwhatimean. actual happiest ending may have been leave a light on (simon le bon / john taylor, musician rpf).

do you get hate on fics?

i can't recall ever getting any outright hate (although maybe i did in my younger writing days back on livejournal). the only thing that i can recall was someone arguing with me about the fact that karl urban would say petrol and not gasoline, and i told them something like "yes, he would. but he didn't. it wasn't dialogue. it was a description, and i wouldn't say petrol, i would say gasoline." i still think about that because wtf.

do you write smut?

pretty much exclusively 😂 i try to wriggle some plot in there from time to time.

craziest crossover?

don't do crossovers! at least i haven't in the past. certainly not opposed to it! i did start to write a winter soldier / the man from uncle fic once ... but then armie hammer stuff happened and i didn't feel so compelled to write that anymore!

have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of.

have you ever had a fic translated?

also not that i'm aware of!

have you ever co-written a fic before?

not "officially," but @wildbornsiren write together every goddamn day and have some ideas.

all time favorite ship?

god, i'll always be a sucker for bucky barnes / steve rogers. right now john egan / gale cleven own my ass and probably will for a very long time.

what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i am delusional enough to believe that i will finish every single wip i have in the works (i absolutely will not).

what are your writing strengths?

i've been told that i write with a certain cadence that progresses stories forward, so i'm choosing to go with that. i also think i write smut pretty damn well.

what are your writing weaknesses?

sometimes i feel that my writing can be very ... technical and clunky. not enough feeling in the words that i put to page.

thoughts on dialogue in another language?

if it's not a language that you personally speak, keep it minimal. google translate only works so well.

first fandom you wrote in?

pretty soldier sailor moon back in like 1995. i didn't know it was fan fiction, i was just ten years old and wanted to make usagi and mamoru kiss.

favorite fic you've written?

i'm not sure if i have a favourite, but i'm always exceedingly proud of leave a light on - a duran duran rpf fic i wrote that has multiple chapters that i actually finished. anything with multiple parts i often struggle to complete.

[ohwolfling]

THINGS THAT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW ABOUT MY FELLOW WRITERS

tagged by local legend @theletteraesc

if you see this and you want to do it, DO IT! I am too sleepy to figure out who has tagged whomst in our little corner of writers. <3

Last book I read: I'm currently reading Neuromancer and (unfortunately) rereading Cyberpunk 2077: No Coincidence for my big spring project (info here). I'm also reading Patrick Swayze's memoir, The Time of My Life, co-written with his wife, and that's been very meaningful to me and my current journey of gender/my relationship to how masculinity has shaped me. I read random passages from Lord of the Rings for about two hours recently, just to be there again, and before that I finished Lanny by Max Porter and Bravely, the Brave novel by Maggie Stiefvater. I recommend them both to lovers of any kind of folklore.

Greatest literary inspirations: the Brontës, Tolkien, and all the romantic poets. Huge Chaucer people-are-messes-are-metaphors guy. But truly, in my bones, I am a run on sentence Anne Rice refused to edit. If I'm writing SCENES or screenplays or plays, it's Tennessee Williams, Martin McDonagh (mostly Pillowman and In Bruges), and German absurdism that I aspire to.

Things in my current fandom I want to read but I don't want to write: I need so much Rogue/Alt recs that are heavy and sensual and atmospheric but don't completely retcon the complication of their own timeline (Cyberpunk 2077). Dying for Aylin/Isobel smut that is feral and sincere. Shadowzel girlies, help me. Also, SH, Lae, Wyll as a polycule could be a vibe. HALSIN FILTH (Baldur's Gate 3).

Things in my current fandoms I want to write but I think nobody would be interested in them but me: More that I think people want a very specific thing from me BUT I do want to write a sort of fragmented, each chapter is a time jump unpacking of how Gale gets to that orb, like emotionally/trauma-wise, not literal. I also think that there's room to explore that Gale is not so monogamous in a traditional sense after healing from Mystra and I know that that really ruffles feathers. Murky waters of interpretation with some of that stuff in the game as it stands. With 2077, no one wants what I am writing there ever so lmao but I have my ongoing super philosophical and spiritual fix it fic of the Sun ending and some Johnny PL Tower ending stuff I'm playing around with.

You can recognise my writing by: I will not let you know anything until I make you feel like you're in the room. The stage picture is specific, layered, and emotionally resonant, and you will know about it. Alternatively, you are so horny and also a single tear is sliding down your cheek.

My most controversial take (current fandom): Every origin character in Baldur's Gate 3 is a main character and as plot relevant as every other origin character. There ARE characters who are too far gone in their experience of systemic trauma and those people are the fucking villains/personal antagonists. The god ending is Gale's WORST ending, narratively speaking. It is on par with Lae'zel going to Vlaakith. Interpretation is good but put down the STEM and know how to recognize literary devices, story arcs, character archetypes, etc to support those. Your head canon is not a vision from on high, babes.

Top three favourite tropes: HEROIC FATIGUE, COSMIC PLAYTHING, and just like... so many versions of hurt/comfort tbqh. I am the protagonist/eldest child on a genre tv show psychologically speaking.

What’s your current writing mood (10 – super motivated and churning out words like crazy, 0 – in a complete rut): ricocheting wildly between a 2 and an 8. Brain and body have not been operational at the same time in a long while but strangely my creativity seems to be healing and growing actually?

Share a random frustration: when my monitors go to sleep, the blue light at the base of them flickers. I have no idea why. I can't figure out how to stop it. If I try to search the web for a solutions, it thinks I mean a flickering blue screen and Google is atrocious now so it won't accept any phrasing that tries to eliminate that. I sleep in a little eye mask but I still KNOW they're there and it pisses me off.

[adaptacy]

One-shots/Mini Fic Commissions (OPEN)

Do you have a plot idea in mind for one of your favorite characters, but don't have the time to bring it to life, or would prefer to have the final product be a surprise? I do a lot of writing in my free-time, and have experience with long-term fanfics and one-shots, especially when it comes to working off of a request! I have plenty examples on my page, accessible via my masterlists.

No options for OC-only works right now, but they may be an option in the future.

I may request using your commission as an example work. It is up to you ultimately whether or not it is posted, but please remember that posting example commissions is a nice way to advertise my work!

Max word count is 6k.

Base pricing:

Canon character (No relationship): $10 per 1k words. Canon character(s) x Reader: $15 per 1k words. Smut/NSFW works are $5 extra per 1k words. Canon character(s) x Canon character: $15 per 1k words. Smut/NSFW works are $8 extra per 1k words. Canon character(s) x Original Character: $20 per 1k words. Smut/NSFW works are $8 extra per 1k words. (Will require a description of your character's appearance & personality.)

Discounted works:

Canon character (No relationship): $5 per 1k words. Canon character(s) x Reader: $10 per 1k words. Smut/NSFW works are $5 extra per 1k words. Canon character(s) x Canon character: $12 per 1k words. Smut/NSFW works are $8 extra per 1k words. Canon character(s) x Original Character: $18 per 1k words. Smut/NSFW works are $8 extra per 1k words. (Will require a description of your character's appearance & personality.)

Fandoms I will do commissions for:

Baldur's Gate 3 Resident Evil Texas Chainsaw Massacre

(For more information on which characters I have experience with, visit this post.)

Active Discounts:

Gale Dekarios [BG3]

Minthara Baenre [BG3]

Leon S. Kennedy [RE]

I reserve the right to deny any commission I am not comfortable with.

Character A.I. Bots (OPEN)

Want a high quality bot to roleplay/chat with? Do you have a bot that you've made, but the bot isn't behaving how you'd like it to? I've made many roleplay-purpose bots that are literate (at least as literate as the word limit allows), in-character, and well-written. Let me bring your ideas to life! For examples, visit my masterlists.

You will have full control over the final product. I simply craft the definition, starter message, and other details before handing them off to you.

Custom Bot (From Scratch):

$10 for canon/pre-existing characters. Base $15 for original characters, pricing may fluctuate based on the complexity of the character.

Bot Editing/Rewriting:

$5 for canon/pre-existing characters. $10 for original characters. Must have a premade character definition & starter message.

Payment

I accept payment on Venmo or Cashapp. Initial payment will be half (rounded up) of the full price, and you will get previews of the work so you know it's being completed. Once it is finished, you will need to pay the other half before receiving the full, unwatermarked work. Once you do, you'll get it as a PDF, a google doc, and/or in a message (only available thru Discord.) It's up to you how you want to receive it.

Wait time may fluctuate based on how many active commissions I have, but that will be communicated to you before you make your purchase. Ideally it will only take 1-3 days to complete.

You can email me ( adaptacycomms@gmail.com ), message me on Tumblr, or message me on discord ( adaptacy ) to discuss pricing/payment/your commission! I'm most active at night time - I am in the Eastern time zone (EST) and will do my best to answer/reply to you as quickly as possible.

[whaledenwtf]

Do you do headcanons? If so, how many characters can we request for headcanons? Would you do the same prompt with different characters? Can we request for male reader, female reader, gender neutral reader, etc? Would you accept requests for Wyll, Dammon, Rolan, and Zevlor? Are there any topics you won't do like rape, suicide, etc? Do you do poly ships x reader? Would you mind if we request for Alternate Universes or Aus like AU where the character lives happily? Would you mind if the request is suggestive, implied sex, or mentioned sex but no explicit sex? Would you do NSFW requests? For Baldur's Gate 3 requests, would you mind if we specify for reader to be human or their race to be unspecified? If you accept NSFW requests, what kinks would you accept for requests? Thank you in advance!

Hi! So I just did a headcannon here: link

I don't mind the amount of characters for headcannons, but if there are more they may be shorter as a result

Regarding gender in my writing, as I am afab, I am most comfortable with writing female protagonists. However, I can do gender neutral if it doesn't regard NSFW. I have written men before, but I feel like I cannot do male readers justice since I am not one. But I can certainly try!!

I can accept requests for Wyll for sure! I am not too familiar with Dammon and Zevlor, and I actually never met Rolan in game! (Don't kill me haha). Regarding sensitive topics, I don't mind alluding to them as long as they are not in detail, especially regarding the topics you wrote. I will NEVER write anything regarding a minor when its nsfw. I try to always have fluff, because I read stories to feel a sense of happiness. Writing, to me, needs to have a balance of angst and fluff, but will not focus on any suffering unless there will be a happy ending, or that suffering is important to the character's storyline (Astarion and Gale, for example).

I love AUs, and am currently writing one for Gale. I am open to creating new stories or plotlines. My main focus is giving justice to the characters that were created by the incredible writers.

I write NSFW, SFW, and anything Implied. Most of my experience is writing NSFW, but I am open to writing anything.

For BG3 requests, I do not mind if you request a particular race. I am most familiar with Elves (Especially Wood Elves), humans, tieflings and Half-Elves. But I usually do research when I write anyways so I don't mind other races. For NSFW, as long as the kinks involve 100% consent from all parties I am open. I do not like anything regarding consent being taken or not present. But I am very open, and will decline anything I do not feel comfortable writing.

Regarding BG3 requests specifically, I have NOT finished the game, so I am not 100% familiar with anything in Act 3. Most of my fics allude to Act 1 and 2 explicitly, but are written outside of main storyline, unless it is important to the story itself. Besides, I'd rather write a story alongside the game, rather than completely integrated into it as I have more freedom to write something to my tastes and skill level.

[kaffeebaby]

What kinda stuff are you writing about!!

Most of the stuff I'm writing right now are better call saul fanfics. I've always been more of a fanfic writer as opposed to making original characters and worlds.

A lot of my fanfic ideas are the "What if this happened instead?" genre. Like what if Gus rehired Gale and made him work with both Walt and Jesse? That would change a lot of stuff, and I had explored some ideas months ago, but I kinda stopped thinking about it as much as other ideas that were more interesting to me started crowding my mind. I don't want this post to get too long but also >:3c

Lately, I've been trying to come up with ideas for a fic where Chuck forgets to cancel his appointment when he's having his last breakdown, so he misses his appointment and his therapist shows up at his house concerned. And she ends up getting him to a hospital where he can be treated before he has the chance to do anything worse than tear his house apart. That event would completely change everything else that happens in the show, and would even impact the stuff that happens in BrBa, so it's been a lot to think about. I basically have to figure out a way for Chuck's life to become livable for him, plus I have to figure out how Saul can still happen if Chuck is still there and Kim doesn't divorce him due to Howard and Lalo never happening, and. Many other things.

But I have a rough outline of different things that need to happen, and I'm the type of person that daydreams or fantasizes a lot throughout the day, especially at night, so it's nice to have a pet project that has some interesting challenges. I get to justify thinking about blorbos all day because it goes back to something I want to write about.

The one wip I mentioned in my tags was a Chuck and Howard smut that I was writing during January this year. I planned to have it finished and posted on Valentine's Day, but I got the stomach flu like two weeks before that which completely ruined any ability to write people having sex. I tried to keep writing after I wasn't sick anymore, but it was kinda done for at that point, since the deadline was actually really motivating me. I've thought about trying to write more on it again, and I've even considered posting it in its half finished state with an author's note that it's not done. There are very few Chuck and Howard fics, and I only ship them recreationally, so at first I wasn't so upset and not finishing and posting the work. But the more time drags on, the more I feel like there are people who would actually like to read my rarepair fanfic, even if I posted it unfinished with a warning and the possibility I'd finish it later. It works where it is right now, but it's very much not as long as I wanted it to be and there's a lot more stuff I wanted to add that I just don't feel the motivation for at this point. But also that doesn't mean I should keep it locked up forever.

I have some other fic ideas that I've been floating around, but my brain has been consumed by my Chuck Lives AU for a while and it's kinda hard to focus on other stuff. I do have a google doc of all my fic ideas though, and I visit it every now and then when I'm in the mood to write or want to refresh what all of my ideas are. I've been a lot better lately at actually writing down ideas as they come to me so that I don't forget them later.

[sansaorgana]

Can you write a cute one with a bit of smut (if you're comfortable with that obviously) with Buck and female reader where he sneaks her into his room when he knows all the others are away?

hi, love! 😍 I loved the idea of sneaking in and it starts smutty indeed but the ending is spoiled by Bucky 🤣 sorry not sorry, I tend to imagine Reader's life with these two like it's a sitcom sometimes 😁

my inbox is open for blurb/short fic requests for major cleven 🤗

🔞 THIS FIC IS 18+ 🔞

Buck was the only guy who didn’t go out to the pub in town on Friday night. The boys had a whole weekend off and almost all of them decided to celebrate by going to the local town and flirting with the girls while getting drunk. Buck was not a drinker and he already had his girl on the base with him.

“If you stay here like a loser,” Bucky teased him before walking out, “then at least sneak her in here and have some good time, too,” he winked as some man behind him whistled and Buck sighed. “You don’t want to sleep here alone, do you?”

“Get out already,” Buck pushed him out and watched the rest of the boys disappear. He shook his head to himself but the truth was that he found the idea tempting indeed.

“Oh, you stayed?” You asked Buck, surprised to see him alone by the table during dinnertime. “I thought you’d go out with the boys,” you chuckled and took a seat next to him.

“I’d get bored there,” he admitted and you tilted your head to take a better look at him because he sounded like he was crazy. He smiled at you.

“You’re adorable, Gale,” you told him and you fixed his hair a little. His friends were not there to tease him about it and your friends had already known about you two anyway. Women’s gossip travelled faster than any plane. “But you don’t have to miss out on parties. I wouldn’t mind you going out,” you told him.

“I really didn’t want to go,” he assured you. “But you know… I have a whole room for myself tonight.”

You took the hand away and focused on the plate in front of you. You had to admit, you got a little shy at his insinuation. You had been sort of dating for a few weeks now but you had never had a time completely alone for yourselves. Not like that, at least. Of course there had been a few heated kisses in the dark corners here and there. But not much more than that.

“I’m so sorry…” Buck blushed. “God, I’m sorry… Forget about it… Doll, can we pretend I’ve never said that?” He put his hand on your thigh and you moved it away. He looked even more scared and awkward now.

“No, we can’t pretend,” you told him and dared to lay your eyes on him again. “Because I don’t want to pretend you haven’t said that. I think we can do it,” you nodded your head nervously.

Yes, yes, your mother wouldn’t be proud of you at that moment but for God’s sake you wanted something from this life, too, and that man could go down any day.

You loved him, too.

Buck furrowed his brows and then he gave you a wide smile as he finally realised that you had just agreed to spend the night with him.

“I will tell my friends that I have to work late. So they will go to sleep before I join them without knowing when exactly I’ll be back. I’ll tell Colonel Harding I’ll help him with the papers…” you started.

“No, no, he will keep you there until morning,” Buck shook his head.

“No, he won’t be there.”

“But he will realise you weren’t working if the papers aren’t ready tomorrow,” Buck pointed out.

“You silly, I have already finished them,” you rolled your eyes. “I always do more than I tell him so I can have free time here and there. And then I pretend I’ve just done it although it was already done a few days before. He’s been played like that many times by me,” you chuckled.

“You cunning little angel,” Buck pinched your thigh under the table and you giggled. “Let’s meet at eleven by the bathroom.”

“Sir, yes, sir,” you teased him.

Your heart was pounding in your chest as you were walking down the dark corridor. You were wearing nothing but a coat over your nightgown and now you regretted it. You wanted to surprise Buck but you were cold and you started to feel like an idiot, too. What if he would find it funny… or not ladylike…?

You almost decided to turn around and change before going back when you felt someone grabbing your arm and pulling you. You squealed but your lips got covered by a familiar hand.

“Shh, little one,” Buck whispered into your ear. “I’ve heard your footsteps,” he told you and removed the hand from your mouth.

“You scared me, Buck!” You whispered.

“I’m sorry, doll. Now, come with me,” he held your hand and guided you further into the corridor. You couldn’t go back to put more clothes on. You took a deep breath in and followed him.

Buck pushed the door leading to the room where the men had been sleeping, making sure to be as quiet as possible. You were alone there but someone could be walking outside. He closed the door behind you and led you to his bed.

When you were finally there, he turned on the small lamp which light was dim and wouldn’t alarm anyone walking by. After all, it was a free weekend and he was able to stay up late reading a book or something.

Then he turned around and took a look at you. He was wearing a T-shirt and pants and he smiled gently as noticed your nervousness.

“We don’t have to… do anything. We can just spend time together,” he told you and sat down on his bed. “What would you like to do?”

“I’m cold,” you admitted.

“Well, then, come here,” he invited you and you bit on your lower lip before gaining the courage to finally open your coat and let it fall to the floor.

Buck’s eyes widened as he looked up at you wearing nothing but a nightgown. He swallowed thickly as his lips opened slightly. The white nightgown looked perfect on your body in the dim light of his lamp and your nipples were hard and perky from the cold. He reached out for you as if he tried to find out if you were real.

“Can you warm me up, Major?” You teased as you crawled up on the bed to curl yourself in his arms.

“I sure can try,” Buck kissed your temple and reached out for the blanket to put it around you. You laid your head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat as your fingers started to make circles on his stomach. “Are you warmer now, love?” He looked down to see your face.

“Yes,” you whispered. “I haven’t felt so warm and safe in a long while,” you admitted.

“War is no place for a sweetheart like you,” he said and rubbed your back.

“But war is here anyway. War is in my country, it’s in my world. I can’t escape it. And here I can at least… do something,” you looked up to meet the gaze of his beautiful blue eyes. “It has nothing to do with courage, you know. If we get bombed and I die here, not many people will be sad. You don’t find wives and mothers here.”

“I will certainly be sad,” Buck put his finger on your lips to caress them gently. “Let’s not talk about it tonight.”

You nodded your head and let his fingertips trace the corners of your mouth. You opened your lips slightly and he froze for a while, trying to read on your face if you wanted what he had thought that you wanted. Eventually, you gave him a slight nod and he slowly put his fingers inside your mouth.

You sucked on them and looked up to give him doe eyes. His pupils darkened and you smirked at the sight. You felt his muscles tightening, too.

You raised your hands to grab his wrist and pull his fingers out of your mouth.

“Do you want to touch me?” You asked.

“Yes, please,” he nodded and you giggled at how well-mannered he was.

You guided both of his hands on your breasts and you leaned back to get in a more comfortable position for you to rest and for him to grope you.

His long fingers worked on the bow on your chest and when the ribbons went loose, the nightgown opened, exposing your bare breasts for him to touch gently. You moaned at the sensation and he shushed you before burying his face in your neck to place small kisses and suck on your skin.

His hands were warm and big and he was using them so gently. His goal was not to play with your breasts mindlessly, but to fondle them and explore every inch of the exposed skin. You didn’t feel like a piece of meat, you felt like a sculpture being admired by an artist. And it was making you feel warm and wet between your legs, too. You began to slowly rub your thighs together to get some friction.

Buck moved his head up to place kisses on your jaw now and you reached back to caress his hair and pull him closer.

You wanted to ask him to touch you down there but you felt too shy to do that. You let out a whine instead.

“What is it, little one?” Buck hummed and laid his eyes on your face. He wanted to make sure you were alright. You looked at him, pleadingly. At first he was confused but then he looked down and noticed your crossed thighs. “Do you want me to touch you there, darling?” He asked and you nodded shyly, feeling your cheeks heating up. “Alright then,” he kissed your forehead. “Come here,” he helped you to move down in his arms so you both were laying down now.

You pulled your nightgown up – shyly but eagerly, too. And this time the eagerness won with the shyness. You felt as if you were about to explode at any given moment. You had no privacy on this base until now so you couldn’t remember the last time you would touch yourself. And having Major Buck Cleven touching you was enough to set your whole body on fire.

Buck raised your thigh gently and put it over his waist to get a better access to you and he carefully touched your clit for the first time. He was visibly surprised at how swollen and wet you already were.

You let out a moan and tugged on his shirt.

“Buck…”

“What’s wrong, doll?” He stopped all the movement to make sure you were alright.

“I don’t want to have sex,” you admitted shyly and he furrowed his brows. “You can touch me but I don’t want to… I don’t want to go further. Not yet,” you told him. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be,” he shook his head and kissed the top of yours. “Don’t be, little one.”

“I can touch you, too,” you proposed.

“Only if you feel like it,” he said.

“I do,” you assured him. “You can go back to touching me,” you added with a whine and he chuckled before letting his fingertips brush your clit gently.

God, he was a tease.

You focused on the bulge in his pants instead and you decided to tease, too. It was only fair. So you started with caressing it through the material of his pants, focusing on the tip for a while and then going all the way up. In the meantime, you were losing focus a few times from all the sensations he was making you feel between your legs.

“If you keep doing it like this, darling, I’m going to finish in my pants,” Buck chuckled.

“Really?” You looked up with a smile. “I want to see.”

“Oh, you’re naughty,” he shook his head and you felt a light slap on your pussy that made you widen your eyes. It was both slightly painful and incredibly pleasurable.

“Oh, so are you, Major,” you breathed out.

“You like that?” He asked and slapped you again as you whined. “You do.”

You both chuckled and leaned in for a kiss as your hands went back to rubbing and teasing. You were so lost in each other, you didn’t hear someone walking inside.

It was the loud bang of the door that made you jump up on the bed. You grabbed the blanket to cover yourself, absolutely terrified.

Thankfully, it was only Bucky. And he was completely drunk.

“Good evenin’,” he slurred out with a smirk, barely standing on his feet.

“What are you doing here?!” Buck snapped at him.

“Don’t mind me, I don’t have any idea what’s going on around me,” he admitted. “I think I wanted to start a fight, they threw me out. Some nice girl from the town gave me a ride home… To the base, I mean… So yeah… I’m banned from that pub,” he laid on his bed and started snoring half a minute later.

“I’ve never seen anyone falling asleep so fast!” You gasped.

“That’s Bucky for you,” Buck sighed.

“What now?” You asked.

“Well, he’s asleep…”

“No,” you interrupted him. “I can stay here for the night but I will not… No, it’s out of question,” you shook your head.

“Fine,” Buck sighed and left the bed. “Give me a moment, I need to go to the bathroom and cool down.”

“Yeah, okay,” you nodded your head and watched him walk away as you worked on your nightgown to tie the ribbons again in a bow.

When you were finished with that, you stood up and began turning Bucky around.

“What are you doing?” Buck asked you as he had just come back.

“He won’t snore so much this way and he won’t choke on his own vomit either,” you told him. “Help me, will you? He’s quite heavy.”

Buck helped you with that and he covered his friend with his blanket, too.

“It’s like tucking a kid to bed,” you giggled.

“Perhaps not the last time for us if we’re lucky,” Buck looked at you and your cheeks went hot at his words.

“Perhaps not…” you chuckled and extended your hands to take him back to bed and cuddle for the rest of the night.

Cuddling was nice, too.

MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST

[katnissmellarkkk]

I *DEMAND* part 3 of shattered pearl. I repeat. I *DEMAND*.

Hahahahaha omg. Well, I decided to legitimately dig through the archives of my writing drafts and found chapter three of the Peeta-Wasn’t-Hijacked fic. It’s been given like 1,000 different names on different sites. I’ve never loved any of them. And I don’t really think this is my best writing ngl. But I also figure ... why be so stingy, ya know? If I have an incomplete draft, that I probably won’t finish, why not post a little bit? Especially since I literally left everyone and their brother who were reading this fic on a cliffy for over a year.

With that said.... I wrote this part like ... 15 months ago? 14 ? 13 ? Something like that. And I haven’t edited it since so ... yeah! Here’s a small chunk of chapter three! 🥳🥳🥳 Hope it’s better than I remember it being!

But it’s lacking something and it’s only then I realize, what I’m searching for inside Gale’s mouth, is the spark that only Peeta’s ever ignited in me. I keep waiting in vain for the warmth that started in my stomach and then rose up and exploded in my chest, for the craving that no matter what I couldn’t manage to satisfy, for the thrilling, almost hysterical, tingly feeling, to overcome me and leave me lightheaded in a completely foreign way. A way that couldn’t be attributed to lack of oxygen.

But it never does. I pull back and wipe my mouth carelessly on my arm and sigh, already sensing Gale’s demeanor taking a nose dive at my lackluster reaction.

I’m not disappointed when I look to see his expression. His eyes are frustrated, his mouth is downturned, his eyebrows are pinched together. And I feel as bad as I knew I would. Because no matter what, I’m hurting someone I deeply care for.

But how I feel upon seeing Gale’s face isn’t even comparable to the amount of remorse that fills me, that overtakes my entire being, when I see Peeta standing in the doorway, having watched our entire exchange.

/

I yelled his name as he disappeared down the hall. I tried to rip out all the needles and wires connecting me to the machines and the stiff, sterilized bed but Gale used all his strength to push me down flat. I was overpowered and exhausted and my left side was screaming mercilessly, and I don’t even know what pain was the bruised lung and what pain was my hurt ribs and what pain was my heart violently smashing into the pit of my stomach.

All I know is that if I had been able to reach Peeta before he evaporated, I have no clue what I would have said to him.

What I could have said to make it alright.

Gale tried to talk to me again after that but I entirely tuned him out, no longer caring if I wounded his feelings, or anyone else's for that matter.

It seems like no matter what I do, no matter how careful or cautious or preemptive I try to be, someone still got hurt in the end.

I wish I could just shut out the world, like I did during those first few weeks in Thirteen. Hide inside closets when I had a flashback. Shove myself into a minuscule crawl space with every nightmare. Refuse to speak to anyone who wasn't Gale or my family. Only eat when my mother nearly forced me. Show no remorse for how rude or how clinically insane I came across.

But now there was an agreement in place, an agreement I made to protect the victors—namely the one who just disappeared down the hall on me—and the people who had no voice on their own. The people who’s only chance was a half-crazed, shell-shocked, battle worn seventeen year old girl, who was just gunned down on national television.

Even if I wanted to retreat to some safe haven inside my head—if such a thing even existed for me—like Annie Cresta, I knew it could never happen.

For me, that wasn’t an option. If I don’t fulfill my duties to Coin, Peeta, Johanna, Annie and probably countless more people will suffer. The districts would undoubtably suffer. Gale would suffer. My mother and Prim would suffer.

I was proven right when later that same night Plutarch came to visit me again. I'd been lying on my side to avoid having to see Gale, who was still soldered to my bedside. My good side was thankfully opposite his seat.

When the Gamemaker spoke I thought I would be forced back to work. Forced to head back to the rebels and engage in their plans.

And I was resigned to it, well aware all along that I wouldn't be given the luxury of time to grieve the hurt I just caused Peeta. Or even the pain I knew I was inflicting upon Gale. The constant seesaw my heart was bouncing up and down on.

I was endlessly thankful that I was still pumped with morphling when Plutarch said that I was needed in Coin's office, because it heavily suppressed any real emotion I had brewing deep inside.

Morphling can cause you to let down your guard sometimes, make you say or do things you wouldn't otherwise or allow things to happen you'd ordinarily have the sense to stop. But it also causes all your severe emotions, all your heightened feelings, to dull as well. And for that, in light of everything that had just transpired, I was eternally grateful for.

When the doctor had removed all the needles from my arm, and I had been given a robe to go over my hospital gown—which, shockingly, was even uglier and thinner and itchier than the gowns they gave in the Capitol hospitals—Gale escorts me down the halls, through the corridors and to President Coin’s office.

I don’t speak to him the entire time. Looking at him makes my stomach churn with remorse and regret, though I’m not even sure who those feelings are directed towards. I’m not even sure how to articulate the way I feel right now.

And, as much as I try to force him out of my mind—as much as I do my best to rip him out from wherever he crawled beneath my skin and flooded into my veins—I inexplicably miss Peeta.

In more ways than I even know how to decipher. Even inside my own head.

I thought that feeling of longing would have ebbed away once he was rescued from Snow and his twisted mansion, but even knowing he’s safe here in Thirteen, I still crave his presence next to me.

I still want him next to me almost all the time.

It’s at least partially attributable to the fact that for so long, it was me and Peeta against the world. He has been my partner in this whirlwind rollercoaster since the first games and, even when I feel like every single aspect that could potentially go wrong has, sometimes it seems like I couldn’t have gotten luckier with who was chosen that fateful reaping to stand by my side the entire horrific ride.

I wipe my eyes as inconspicuously as I can but Gale sees and almost instinctively puts his hand on my shoulder. And proves he knows me better than I give him credit for. “I’ll talk to him, Katniss.”

“Don’t,” I immediately hiss. “You’ll just make it worse, Gale. He-he,” I struggle with explaining what I want to say and I curse my best friend for even addressing my moment of weakness because now I have to go talk to Coin, looking like an unstable mess—with a near bullet wound—and I blurt out the very first thing I can think of. “He doesn’t even know you, okay? You’ll just-“

There’s no malice in Gale’s voice as he softly replies, “Well, he was fine when I went and saw him before you woke up.”

I stop now, dead in my tracks. “You saw him? After I was shot?”

He nods slowly. “Yeah, I felt like should check on him. I know...” He pauses and looks upwards and I recognize, once again, this whole thing isn’t easy for him either. “I know he means a lot to you. And I heard what happened when he saw you go down. So I went and checked in on him...” He stops again before shrugging nonchalantly. “He was calmer by the time I saw him. He was nice. He’s always been nice.” At that Gale rolls his eyes. “Too nice. Probably why Snow wanted to hurt him.”

I start walking again, moving ahead of him a few paces. “You’re not helping,” I state, my voice a monotone.

“I’ll talk to him,” Gale offers again, running to catch up.

“Please don’t, okay? Just let it be. I don’t even know if he’ll speak to me, I don’t want to have to worry about what you’ll say to him.”

I vigorously shake off his hand on my shoulder when he tries to comfort me again, and feel him root into place as I make the rest of the way to Coin’s office.

And I wonder if I hurt him now too.

I wonder if I managed to completely annihilate them both from me in one night.

/

Much to my surprise and, to be completely honest, my utter disappointment, Coin doesn’t want me to head back out and fight for the rebellion. She doesn’t want me to even film more propos.

Plutarch does, but his ideas now are pretty frivolous and have more to do with him being still stuck in the fantasy of putting on a good show and less to do with fighting for the good of the country.

Coin simply says, “You did your job, Miss Everdeen. You united the districts,” in her calm, disingenuous—completely unsettling—tone.

And argument I put up is met with a simple shake of the head and a pursing of her lips. All indisputable rejections, her cold, blank eyes telling me wordlessly that in no way could I sway her once her mind was made up.

Still doesn’t stop me from trying though.

“I want to help the rebels,” I plead, looking to Boggs behind Coin’s chair, his face still stoic but his eyes giving me a look that isn’t altogether dismissive.

That was something. It was more than I was getting from either Coin or Plutarch.

Coin though brushes off my words and cuts me down infuriatingly quick with a single sentence. “Plutarch wanted to see Peeta earlier, talk about some propos. But when he sent for him, one of the doctors working with Peeta said he wasn’t having a good day.”

Her tone is smooth and pleasant enough but there was an undercurrent to her words that she knew I would hear. “Do you know how Peeta is? I would have thought with your waking up this morning, he’d be in better shape than he was but if you two aren’t getting-“

“Me and Peeta are fine,” I snap, not liking whatever she’s implying.

She nods, slowly at me, choosing her next sentiment carefully. “Well, let’s hope so. We need both of you now to remain the faces of this revolution. And I wouldn’t want you to do anything rash because of... problems between you and your... between you and Peeta.”

I’m shaking my head, feigning certainty, before she even finishes. “That’s not why I want to help the rebels,” I insist firmly.

“Irregardless, Miss Everdeen, we don’t have a job for you. You aren’t qualified to go into the fight and we no longer need your propos to unite the districts. Your job is done. Thank you for your help.”

And I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I’m being definitively dismissed now. Indefinitely.

I don’t make any effort to keep my cool, instead choosing to storm out of the room, slamming the door cacophonously behind me and wonder why I let that woman get to me so much. Why her words and implications slice me open like a knife.

Why no matter how much I try, I just can’t like her.

Something about her rubs me the wrong way and, once again, I wish Peeta was here with me in the room, because he of all people could understand what about Coin felt off and strange and so familiar.

I curse myself again, as I suddenly miss him even more than before.

Unable to force myself to put my focus elsewhere—especially now that Gale is surely angry too—I change directions and head towards the recovery room.

I don’t even knock before entering. I push the door open, only to find him sitting on top of his bed, a sketchbook in hand, a lot more tranquil than I pictured.

He looks up as I enter—and then, simultaneously freeze in the doorway, like the coward I truly am inside. Before he can speak though, I blurt out, “I know you’re mad about me kissing Gale and I don’t know how much you saw or heard, but it wasn’t... it wasn’t exactly...” I stop because once again, I’m unprepared and out of my element and have no rhyme or reason in what I’m trying to say. I don’t know the right thing to say. I never know the right thing to say.

Maybe if I did, I wouldn’t screw always everything up. “It wasn’t,” I finally force myself to continue, off his patient and somewhat bewildered glance. “It wasn’t what I wanted... I didn’t want it to happen. I don’t, I don’t even know what-“

He finally puts me out of my misery now. “Katniss,” he speaks my name along with a sigh. I watch carefully, feeling a lump build in my throat, as his blonde brows furrow over his baby blues.

He shakes his head, slow and calm. Far more reasonable than I ever anticipated. “I’m not mad at you, Katniss,” he promises, with all the genuineness in the world.

I bite my lip, befuddled by his words. “But... where have you been then?” Why did you leave me? A small voice in the back of my mind demands.

He shrugs, his gaze falling down to his bed now. His demeanor is almost embarrassed, I realize with a start.

“I wanted to give you and Gale space. I’ve been practically mauling you since you woke up so I thought-“

“But I didn’t want you to leave,” I abruptly burst out, unable to shove the words down any longer.

A pang of embarrassment shoots through me though, for the pathetic crack, evident in my tone. And I mentally berate myself.

Not for the embarrassment. For the pathetic crack itself.

And for the fact that somehow I’m the frenzied one here and Peeta is the voice of reason.

Which used to be our norm but after everything that’s transpired, I would have thought things would be reversed by now.

He just stares at me for a long moment, carefully considering his next words.

Finally, he opens his arms slowly and utters, “Come here,” in a tender murmur and I practically fly into his arms before I can second guess the offer.

I feel my injured side screaming as I curl up like a ribbon in his arms, but I surpress the wince to the best of my ability and instead bury my face in his shoulder, breathing in his sweet scent like a mad girl.

He softly presses his lips to my messy locks, carefully massaging the back of my head soothingly. “I’m sorry I ran away,” he whispers, barely loud enough for even me to hear. “I was just embarrassed. I know—I’ve always known deep down—that it’s not right for me to constantly hold you to the things you said in the games. Or to project my own feelings onto you.”

“You didn’t,” I refute venomously, my brows knitting together.

“Katniss, I know you and Gale have had something between you for a long time.”

“Gale was just a friend until me and you came back from our first games. Maybe he wanted to be more even before, I don’t know, but I never felt anything romantic for him. I swear.”

“You don’t have to defend your feelings to me,” he states softly.

“I know, it’s just...” I sigh, moving to sit upright across his thighs. “No matter what I do, it’s wrong. If I say I’m confused, you’re both hurting. If I say I want to kiss you or sleep with you or just be with you, I’m leading you on because I can’t-I can’t make any promises about my feelings right now, because I don’t even know up from down anymore. And if I say I do or don’t want to kiss Gale or be around him or hunt with him still, I’m hurting him or giving him the wrong idea or telling him the wrong things, and it all gets confused and there’s an entire rebellion that I’m the face of, and now I don’t even know if I’m a part of that, but Snow and his followers all hate me still so I know family still won’t be safe until this is all over. And you. You and Johanna and Annie went through the ringer over me. And Gale gets upset whenever he sees us together—it hurts him to see us—but I can’t always seperate you two from one another and I just-I don’t know what I can do. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Peeta lets me rant the whole entire spiel out, his hand slowly moving in circles to rub my back, from the top of my spine down to my backside. “Katniss,” he whispers once I’m done. “You don’t have to defend yourself to me. I get it. You’re under immense pressure. The last thing I want to do is make things harder on you.”

“You’re not,” I say, shaking my head insistently. “You’re not making anything worse, Peeta. It’s-it’s not you.”

“Okay,” he concedes and unconsciously wraps me up tighter in his arms. “Just relax, okay? Relax and breathe.”

I quiver and quake against him. “I don’t think I can.”

I barely realize I’m crying until Peeta leans down to kiss my tearstained cheek softly. “Katniss, it’s okay. I’m not mad. And Gale shouldn’t be. If he is, then that’s on him. The rebellion isn’t just your responsibility. Do not let them put all that weight on your shoulders. I know they already have but it’s not all your responsibility. And no one is going to let anything happen to your mom or sister.” He pushes my hair away from my forehead, pressing his lips there for a long moment. “Or you. I promise I will not let anything else happen to you.”

I swallow hard as he rests his forehead against my temple. I squeeze my eyes shut in hopes that it will make my head stop spinning somehow. Deep breaths to center myself fail miserably and in the end, I feel my bruised ribs and lung disagree with the movement and ache worse than before.

Peeta feels me cringing against him in pain and remains careful as he shifts, reaching for something off his bedside table.

I’m in too much pain to react as pushes off my robe and tugs my hospital gown down in order to slide against my skin, his hand holding it firmly to my side.

The icy temperature brings some sort of relief to me almost instantly, and I let out an audible sigh of relief, feeling my rigid body relax even a minuscule amount for the first time.

“I don’t blame you for having feelings for Gale,” Peeta murmurs, drawing my attention back to our conversation and away from my painful left side. “And if you want to be with him, I won’t hold it against you. I’m not going to lie, I’d be ... sad but... it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t still be your friend. It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t still be at jere for you however you needed me. There’s no ultimatums here, Katniss. I’m still here for you, even if you’d rather be with Gale.”

I pause for a long moment, absorbing his words. He’d be willing to be my friend, even if I hurt him? Even if I chose someone else over him? Even after everything we went through, even after all the ways he’d been abused because Snow could see how much I care for him? How much I need him. He’s still willing to put it all aside and be there for me, no strings attached.

And I try not to compare but my brain draws the conclusion almost involuntarily, and I can’t stop myself from realizing that, in the same position, Gale would likely not be telling me the same thing.

I burrow my face deeper in his shoulder, shutting my eyes in exhaustion.

Peeta catches me off-guard, moving my hair aside to kiss my neck, eliciting a flare of heat in the place where his lips brush my skin, and I may not know exactly how I feel, but I know in that moment exactly what I want right now.

“The only person I want to be with tonight is you,” I whisper honestly, looking up at him with pleading eyes, begging him to somehow understand an emotion I don’t know how to admit. “The only person I want right now is you, Peeta.”

[steelblaidd]

20 Questions: Writer’s Edition

Thanks, @kasienda!

I was going to do this any way but its nice to be asked.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

24

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

103908

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Four if you count AUs.

Tenchi Muyo (GXP)(WIP)

Miraculous (24) with AUs in BHA and Spirited Away

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Something There That Wasn't There Before: Post Reveal Post Relationship seen from Nino's PoV.

Square Dance: Magical split personality Love Square shenanigans.

Flash of Insight: Alya PoV at the end of Gang of Secrets

The Very Best Butter: Alex gets her Miraculous.

The Education of Luka Couffaine: My first long fic to get to completion.

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Always. Comments are a gift, I like to leave a thank you.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Easy peasy, Home is Where the Heart Is: Rips your heart out and stomps it to pulp in just 581 words.

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

That's harder. It’s a Beautiful New Day! is pure fluff end to end and leaves the .

8. Do you write crossovers? If yes, what’s the craziest thing you’ve written?

Not yet, just inspired AUs. Though one might be crossover material. (the BHA one).

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don't think so though I got one very... odd comment on And Now for Something Completely Different.

10. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Not outside my own head, but I do try to make T stand for tantalizing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No :(

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Not yet! It would be fun though. The closest I've got is contributing to the @alwaysandforeverzine which is structured as an in world magazine with articles about the LadyNoir and Adrienette weddings. This meant I had to fit my story into a shared chronology. Preorders open to 30 Nov 2021.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

After myself and my wife, 🤔 The one that has stuck with me the longest since I first read A Princess of Mars when i was 5-6 is Dejah Thoris and John Carter.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Misery Loves Company. I started it almost 15 years ago on FFN and I'm still stuck in the same place.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

People tell me its description and character.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

My dysgraphia. It makes everything so much harder. It's such a struggle to just get words out that I rarely have much slack in my stories or energy to revise.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

Only when the thought does not translate or to show when some one is hearing a different language. I use Japanese honorifics with Japanese speakers because English doesn't work the same way.

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Misery Loves Company for Tenchi Muyo:GXP. It was something to do in the middle of the night while I tried to get my baby son to sleep.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Like picking your favorite child.

The Education of Luka Couffaine probably as my longest and most complicated story structurally and thematically. I have an 89 song 6 and a half hour play list that goes with it to capture all of the song references. I can't write Luka PoV with out a bunch of songs.

I'm offering a fic request to anyone who comes up with a good guess at the content of the playlist.

Taging @sing-in-me-oh-muse, @gale-gentlepenguin, @chocoluckchipz, @graaythekwami and anyone else who wants to play.

[ellanainthetardis]

Hello! I’ve been working my way through your incredible hayffie fanfiction archives, but I don’t have Tumblr so basically I have no idea what you’re currently up to lol! Sorry if you’ve answered this a million times before but if you don’t mind me asking - what are your future fic plans? Obviously I’m loving HADS and President Abernathy at the moment but do you have other stuff in the works (and may I impatiently ask when youre planning on publishing them lol I love your stuff I cant get enough)

What are my future plans... Hopefully survive the back to work transition haha.

Okay, so future plans. After President Abernathy, I plan on publishing the next episode of Katniss The Vampire Slayer on Sundays, aka The Cursed Episode* because it took me months to write, is currently making beta a nightmare and has no good reason to be so difficult aside for the fact it stars Gale Hawthorne who I subsequently swore would never again get anything vaguely centric.

I am hoping to get to an idea for Christmas based on Taylor's It's the damn season/dorothea but that is still in a distant future.

I have a 4/5 shot modern au that I'm not sure when I will publish because I'm not sure where it fits in the schedule tbh. It's nothing very great, just a small story about hayffie getting serious and Chaff being his usual ass.

Currently, I am in the last stretch of Mind Wipe writing (let's not kid ourselves, folks, by the way, that name is staying, I don't care if it doesn't make any sense to anyone but me at this point the WIP has been called that for too long) and the great debate was should I wait until after KTVS episode is done to publish it or move it to a Friday slot as soon as I'm done writing it... I was leaning toward that but it's not done anyway for now so the point is moot. Mind Wipe is basically a What If, where they experimented on Effie before they highjacked Peeta and she's a complete blank slate or very close to it by the time they get her back. It's been a WIP for years and I've been recently trying to finish it. Almost there. I see the light.

I also have regular prompt/os update on every Wednesday as usual.

I was ALSO, because clearly I like to make my life complicated, wondering about organizing something for the fandom soon-ish... Either a week around christmas or maybe something shorter... I was thinking maybe a game of cadavre exquis (how do you call that game in English... Rotating cadaver?) for Halloween assuming enough people were interested? I participated in one once in the Lucifer fandom and it was fun. We could do that all over October or something...

There you have it, anon :p I hope you enjoy the fics!

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Hiiiiii! It’s @katnissmellarkkkk (tumblr doesn’t like to be fun and let me send asks through my sideblog). I was just wondering, if there was any of your fics you’d particularly recommend? I know you got a lot 😂. But i wanna read more of my mutuals fics this year so is there one in particular you want me or anyone else to read? 💞🥰💞🥰💞🥰

Oh wow. This is such an interesting idea. I think I saw you asking this of another writer too. Do you have plans to reblog all the answers to your blog so we can see them all? I know it’s work for you, but I’d love to see them all in one place @katnissmellarkkkk.

Ngl though, this question is giving me low key anxiety, lol. I hope you don’t mind, but when I got it, I poked on your AO3 page to include your bookmarks, mainly because I don’t want to recommend something you’re probably gonna hate. I know my writing isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and I hate to assume too much??

I don’t really work in Panem all that often, and when I do, I usually don’t dabble in the Games, so it’s... hrm ah... I mostly write modern AU and they’re all kinda heavy on the smut, although I’d like to think there’s plot and character development in there too. Also the word counts are a little high on some, and there’s quite a few that are unfinished, so i don’t want to suggest anything that takes a huge commitment??? I do try to be good about the tags, though, so please feel free to reject any or all of these suggestions. You won’t hurt my feelings if you read only one or none:

9000 R.P.M. - One of my personal faves of mine. Modern AU. Race car driver and single mom Katniss, mechanic Peeta. It’s finished and Explicit.

Outside Chance - I... I have no excuses except this one is an epic and my baby. Everlark in the Winter Olympics & Paralympics, family shenanigans, quite a lot of angst but eventual happy ending, and while it isn’t complete, I’m stuck in a spot that would work as a happy end if there wasn’t more I still wanted to show. Has two spin off series focused on each of Peeta’s brothers (actual on the ladies who love them lol) that are both kinda epics in their own right... Also Explicit.

The Midnight Train - JUST HEED THE FREAKING TAGS OKAY? It’s one of my few in Panem Au’s that includes the Games and works as a done deal right now. I do have a continuation planned, but it’s still a ways from being ready to post and this part I’ve linked doesn’t end on a cliffhanger or anything. RATED EXPLICIT I cannot stress this enough.

Secret Kisses, Secret Wishes - My only multi-chapter in Panem with the Games story. Peeta is already a Victor, Katniss and Gale go into the arena together. It’s not my personal favorite, but it got quite a bit of love from readers so, what do I know anyways, lol? Also Mature/Explicit. But it’s finished.

12 x 12 - Holiday fic set in the days before Christmas until New Years. Mostly fluffy and duh dun dun!!! Rated T+. No smut. ;) Finished.

Hope you can find one that you enjoy from that list!

<3 kdnfb