#and if i died what then huh if i needed a 13th reason what then

[vibecheccked]

I hate myself so fucking much

[aei9athy]

Aeternum vale

| navigation | a/n: saw a prompt like this on twitter and I love angst so I created this. First time posting on here so please be kind ❤️ | warnings: angst, slight and I mean a sliver of alcoholism, non canonical character death | cross posted on ao3 | tags 🏷️ : @thethreeeyed-raven |

June 13th 2014

It’s been a year since Ada left him, again. It was something Leon had become somewhat numb too. Her being there with him was never in the cards. He tries and tries and tries and somehow fate somehow separates them. He wished he had taken Helena’s advice and had gone after her, he wished he could have held her or kissed her before she ran away again. He felt like a damn fool. She could be dead for all he knows, rotting in the ground or maybe scattered ashes. No. Fate wasn’t kind enough for that, knowing their luck she would be made into a BOW, ready to be sold to the first greedy bastard who laid eyes on her.

Leon shakes his head. No, she’s too strong to die, to be turned into one of those things. His foot bounces on the ground. Why was he so tense all of a sudden? He knows she’s capable of living alone so why was he so worried? Maybe it’s time for a call, it wouldn’t hurt right?

He takes his phone from his pocket and slowly dials the number but for some reason cannot press the call button. She doesn’t need him anymore, just like always she’ll come when or if she needs something. However those words that Helena said are still gnawing at the back of his mind. “She’s more than just a friend isn’t she?” Those words are on a deafening loop in his mind 24/7. Were they ever really friends? He could never think of a word to describe their relationship but that’s how he liked it. Putting the phone back in his pocket he decided to wait, she’d call when she’s ready.

That call never came. A week went by, nothing. A week turned to a month to somehow a whole year. He tried shaking off the ominous feeling he felt in his chest every time he looked at the makeup compact on his dresser. It was fine though, once it was a six year gap! Leon had said to himself at least a dozen times each day to keep himself sane.

At long last on June 13th 2015 he called her.

“Unfortunately I’m unavailable at the moment please leave a message!”

It was her voice! It took Leon a few seconds to realise it was a pre recorded message. Quickly he spoke, stumbling over his own words. “Hey Ada! It’s been a while huh? Listen I know you’re probably really busy but I’d like to see you again or even just a call. I need to know you’re alive, talk later…Hun.” The last word hurt more to say than he thought. It was a nickname the two had grown accustomed to throughout the years.

Once again he was waiting and waiting until a month later his mobile rang in his back pocket. “Ada! Are you there? I’ve missed you so much, please tell me you’re alright.” His words come out liked alphabet spaghetti but instead of his lovers voice there was a deeper voice, one Leon could not recognise. “You must be mr Leon Kennedy? I’m sorry but Miss Wong has been dead for over a year now. She died on June 13th 2014.” Before Leon could even comprehend what had been said to him the phone went dead and only the beeping of the hung up phone could be heard.

Time stopped, grief swallowed him up more than any BOW had done before. A hot white pain stung in his chest, it was like his heart had been ripped out and stitched back in by a butcher. However tears did not come, he just sat there, looking at that damned makeup compact. He would never be able to give it back to her. He would never see her again. Helena was right he should have gone to her, he should’ve kissed her and told her how much he loved her and…!

His brain stopped processing, overheating from the guilt and regret of never being able to tell her how he really felt.

“I love you.”

A single tear fell down his cheek.

Months go by and guilt is still lingering over him. His nightmares become worse and so does his drinking. Everyday he would call her number, hear her voice on the answer machine and then whisper sweet nothings into the phone.

He was sent the address of the place where she was buried. She wanted to be cremated. Even in death she never got what she wanted. He decided to see her, take the compact and try to find some sort of solace or peace from this overwhelming regret.

There it was, alone just like she was. Beautiful, just like she was. The compact was tight in his hand, he also decided to bring along the teddy keychain she had given him a decade ago.

“Hey Ada.”

He says nothing and places the compact on the headstone. Somehow he felt lighter, no words needed. He sits there reminiscing for hours but still says nothing. Finally he gets up and whispers one thing to the grave and leaves.

“I love you.”

[cantfightmoonlight]

“What's wrong with Ben's? He's a nice guy who happens to have a lot of clean shirts lying around and I thought we weren't talking about this?" Bri huffed out. "Do you really want me to get into the details of my night? Because I can if you want and then we'll both be uncomfortable. Hm, how about it? Want to never be able to look the Coalition Leader in the eyes the same way again or what?"

"If I was to say what I was going to, it would only make you more upset," She whispered quietly out as she gave him another small shrug. Bringing one knee followed by the next into her chest as she mumbled quietly out, "And when it comes to kicking buckets, I don't exactly have a choice in the matter, you know." She hadn't had a choice in the dreamscape or when she first came back and it didn't really seem like she had much of choice now. Not with her life still tied to the Catalyst. She knew how much people hated the Catalyst in town and with good reason. Many would stop at nothing to get their hands on them, whoever they were, and she didn't blame them. After what happened Valentine's Day and again at the Ren Faire, the Catalyst needed to be stopped. It was just that if the Catalyst died, she would too. A reality that was becoming far more apparent with each week that passed. She was living on borrowed time and, sooner or later, her clock was going to run out.

"It's okay. I mean its not, but I sort of accepted it by now. And I don't know, but it is and if there is one thing this town sucks at, it's being sympathetic when it happens. But, then again, maybe we're all just used at this point," She admitted quietly, knowing that she wasn't exactly above being unempathetic herself. No one gave her a break after she came back and, so when Poppy died, she was hardly about to let the blonde girl cry whoa is me to her when Poppy had an entire coven of witches vote to perform dark magic to bring her back. "But, it already did, didn't it?" She pointed out quietly. "Huh? I'm confused. Did you have a Friday the 13th run in with a fae or did you break our stuff because you're just naturally that unlucky? And okay. If you want to, but it's really not a big deal for me to cover it either. It's not like I'm short on change."

“A sexy mai–” But Jonah couldn’t even finish the word before a full-bodied laughter burst out, “You were at Ben’s? Oh my god.” It wasn’t hard to put the pieces together once she dropped that piece of information, coming in after the night of the dinner where only one person was dressed as a maid…“I mean what’s there to talk about now?” he snickered, “Seems like you like a lot more than just the shirt.”

Listening attentively, a sigh fell almost immediately when Bri cut her explanation as quickly as it began. It wasn’t frustration that made him shake his head, more dejected and crestfallen than anything at her unwillingness to even open up to him anymore. It likely was his own fault, possibly had disappointed her far too many times. “Please don’t do that,” he said perhaps too quietly, “Don’t shrug it off when I’m here wanting to know how you feel. I’m not saying I’m deserving to know and I suppose you don’t have to tell me if you really don’t want to but…I still very much care about you and a lot more people do too. No kicking buckets, please.”

He grew absolutely silent as she talked about the nightmares they all faced, features aghast as his attempts to even picture such a thing failed. Dozens. “I’m so sorry you faced that…” he said, wrapping his hand around her shoulder to pull her in for a side hug, “Why is death so prevalent in this town?” A place that spoke on safety for its residents and being a safe haven certainly never felt as such. “It’s not real and never will be real, nothing can happen to you.” He said with such surety as if he could prevent bad things from happening himself, a weak human, but he would try. He will try. “No pixie or magic will do me any good at this point. Can’t be saved,” he admitted with a small non-committal chuckle of his own. “Let me get this though, I broke it, least I could do is help fix it.”

[corysmiles]

Little Streamer AU Part 1

cw/language (bc Tommy of course)

Tommy kicked his legs back and forth anxiously as his father drove him up to Brighton in their clunky family van. The windows were cracked open allowing a cool breeze into the car that washed over Tommy like a wave. His much bigger father just drove on in silence with only quiet music filling the car, leaving Tommy’s mind to wander in excitement.

He was finally going to get to meet his friends; he’d finally have other friends who were the same height as him. He loved his human family and friends sure, but he could count on his fingers how many other tinies he had met in his life. And that number went down even farther if he thought about how many tinies he’d actually had as close friends.

That all changed once his parents had gifted him a tiny pc for his 13th birthday. He met tons of other tinies through streaming and talked to them all almost every day. So when Wilbur had told Tommy about the meet up they were planning in Brighton with Phil and Tubbo Tommy couldn’t be any more ecstatic.

“God you’d think you won the lottery with how excited you are child,” Wilbur had said to him through a Discord call when Tommy was packing for his trip.

“I’m just really really excited to see everyone dickhead,” Tommy spat out as he tried to shove even more clothes into his already full suitcase which was made of scraps of red fabric poorly sewn together.

“Awe does lil Tommy want to see his famwy,” Wilbur laughed.

Tommy frowned and flipped off his monitor even though he knew Wilbur couldn’t see him.

“I’m just excited alright I think it’ll be cool,” Tommy replied before pausing to add on, “Plus itll be nice to get away from motherinnit.”

They had stayed on the call for almost another hour after that conversation until Tommy was fully packed. They’d said goodnight to each other and fallen asleep anxiously waiting for the meet up.

Now Tommy could barely believe that in only a few minutes he’d be meeting his friends in person.

His father glared down at the GPS on his phone and huffed as he made a sharp turn, making Tommy’s car seat (which was tied down to the larger seat) shift harshly to the side.

The car pulled into the parking garage of a brick apartment complex before it stuttered to a halt.

“We’re here Tom,” his dad smiled as he reached his hand down for Tommy to climb in.

“Fuck yeahhhhh,” Tommy grinned as he stepped up onto his dad’s hand and let him cary the boy out into the cool Brighton air.

His dad walked around for a little bit with Tommy held in his fist as he searched around for the tinies Tommy was meeting up with. However as he searched it became more and more clear there were no other tinies in the area.

“Hey Tom...are you sure they’re here?”

Tommy grumbled from his hand and pushed his head out from between his fingers to look around, “I mean yeah they have to be here why would they lie about this.”

Tommy’s father sighed, “I don’t know I really don’t see anyone here who looks even remotely close to your size...”

Tommy squinted and looked around for any familiar faces before spotting a man with brown curly hair and a pair of circular glasses. He seemed familiar to Tommy for some reason and he just couldn’t seem to figure out what drew him to the tall human.

Until he heard his laugh. The man chuckled deeply as he talked to whoever it was he was chatting with on his phone and Tommy felt his heart stop.

That was Wilbur...his friend who he had assumed was a tiny all this time....and he was fucking huge.

“Uh...dad,” Tommy whispered.

“Yeah Tom?”

“That’s Wilbur,” he said slowly.

His father’s face contorted in confusion as he stared at the tall man across the street.

“What do you mean, isnt he supposed to be well..you know,” he said as he gestured to his pointer finger and thumb that were only about an inch apart.

“Yeah I uh...yeah I thought that too,” Tommy said softly.

His father shrugged and started to approach Wilbur, “Well okay then let’s go meet him, ay?”

He tapped the brunettes shoulder and immediately Wilbur’s face lit up with a smile as he hung up on whatever call he was on to greet Tommy’s dad.

“Hi hi I’m Will it’s very nice to meet you and I can’t wait to see your son I promise we’ll be safe and careful while we’re out and around and-“

“Woah woah it’s okay,” Tommy’s dad laughed at the younger man’s flustered enthusiasm, “if Tom trusts you I do to.”

He then motioned for Wilbur to stretch out his hand which the brunette assumed was for a handshake until the older man’s hand never met his own.

“Open it up,” Tommy’s dad said.

Wilbur complied in confusion leaving his hand turned up towards Tommy’s father when a small weight was placed on his palm.

“Huh you wh-“

Wilbur stared down at his palm in amazement at the tiny boy in front of him. He was so small he could wrap his hand around him completely if he wanted to and though he was an almost comforting weight he could probably crush him with just one hand. The thought immediately made him feel sick.

“Tommy?” Wilbur asked incredulously.

Tommy smiled and laughed nervously from his hand as Wilbur’s fingers instinctively went to wrap closer around him to keep him safe.

“Yeah big man...I uh, not gonna lie I thought you’d be a lot smaller huh...” Tommy stuttered out.

Wilbur nodded slowly, “uh yeah I could say the same for you but uh...you know the opposite.”

For the life of him Wilbur could not stop staring at the boy in his hands, the boy who he thought of as a sort of brother, the boy who looked so tiny in his hand, the boy who now was starting to look nervous under the older man’s gaze.

The moment was broken by Tommy’s dad forcing out a cough and clapping his hands together.

“Well Will have fun with him, if he dies you have my number,” he said with a laugh before walking off to his car, leaving Wilbur alone with Tommy.

“Ay mate was that Tommy’s dad where is he?”the pair heard as a shorter man jogged up to the two.

Tommy immediately recognized Phil, his internet father-figure, as he ran up with two cups of water for him and Wilbur. And fuck...he was also human too.

He tried to keep his disappointment from showing as he looked up at the practically giant man.

“Uh...yeah Phil he’s uh-well he’s here,” Wilbur said slowly.

Phil looked at him in confusion and laughed, “Uhuh so he’s invisible now or wha-“

Phil felt his mouth fall open as Wilbur turned to him with his hands held out. In Wilbur’s hands sat the annoying gremlin child who he had spent so much time on calls with helping out with his pc and gaming.

“He’s uh...very small,” Phil said.

Tommy laughed nervously at Phil’s confusion and stood up shakily to get closer to Phil.

“Yeah well...I could say the same for you bitch” Tommy smiled.

Phil frowned down at the kid who was still just as annoying even with his short stature and sighed, “Alright well uh I guess this is a thing huh?”

Tommy hummed in agreement and spat out, “Well in all fairness I thought you were all tinies too so this is just as shocking for me bitches.”

“Uhuh,” Wilbur laughed as he pulled Tommy back closer to his chest.

“Well I guess we gotta go meet up with Tubbo now, and if he’s the size of a fucking rat too I’m out of here,” Phil chuckled as he watched Tommy cuddle up into Wilbur’s hands.

“Yeah...” Wilbur responded but he didn’t seem like he was really paying attention to Phil’s words.

The taller man was completely focused on wrapping the tiny boy up between his fingers. The need to protect him and keep him close almost overwhelmed him.

Phil sighed at the two and grabbed Wilbur’s forearm to pull him away. This was going to be a very strange meet up for sure.

[kumqu4t]

birthday with the company headcanons!

☆ a birthday gift to two wonderful people, @trxblemaker and @rowandor whose birthdays are on the 13th and 14th respectively!

☆ (platonic!company/reader)

☆ takes place after BOTFA, everybody lived!!

☆ kind of angsty at the beginning but dON’T WORRY THERE IS MUCH COMFORT AND FLUFF TO MAKE UP FOR IT!!!!

☆ target audience- teen reader

☆ (y/bday)= your birthday

☆ (y/n/a)= your new age

you were slowly but surely getting settled into erebor, your new home

shortly after the battle, you found yourself adopted by EVERY MEMBER OF THE COMPANY

you now wore braids with handmade beads in your hair, one for each family

you lived in erebor, obviously

and all the other families, lived in rooms in the same hallway

you spent most of your time exploring

and the company weren’t the only ones you spent time with

dís had taken a liking to you quite fast, proving to be a much appreciated maternal figure in your life

tauriel was like a sister to you. someone you could prank kíli with, but also go to for advice and a listening ear

so basically you never had to worry about being lonely

things had been pretty quiet and uneventful for awhile

until, on one ordinary day, you made the mistake of bringing up your birthday

you were walking aimlessly around erebor, simply exploring and enjoying the view

when kíli bounded up to you, a smile lighting up his face

“company supper coming up! you will be in attendance, right (y/n)?”

“it’ll be great fun,” he continued. “we’re planning to head to the library after and tell stories while enjoying a few drinks.”

“no drinks for you though, little sister,” he added as an afterthought, ruffling your hair playfully

kíli now looked at you expectantly, waiting for your response

“oh that sounds great,” you answered after a pause. “what day is it planned for?”

“(y/bday) at 6:00!” kíli answered

you responded without thinking

“oh that’s my birthday! i’ll be turning (y/n/a). huh! with the quest and the battle and everything it must have slipped my mind! anyways, of course i’ll be coming, i can’t wait!”

you looked at kíli to see him frozen in place, a pained expression on his face

“kíli?”

you waved a hand in front of his face “earth to kíli?”

he jerked to life, flashing you a quick smile that looked more like a grimace

“terribly sorry (y/n), but i must be off! i think i heard uncle calling!”

you stared after him for a few more minutes, feeling confused

you definitely did not hear thorin calling

well that was weird

brushing it off, attributing it to kíli just being kíli, you went about the rest of your day as usual

oddly, you didn’t see much of the company that day, or in the rest of the days following

you didn’t see bilbo, dís, or tauriel either

and you usually spent time with at least one member a day

but now they were nowhere in sight

and if you did see them, they would make an excuse and quickly dash away

so by the end of the week you were feeling a little down

you didn’t know what you had done wrong

and you missed spending time with your family

you wondered if maybe dwarves didn’t celebrate birthdays? but even so, they had never avoided you like this before

some unfortunate thoughts came to you

‘maybe now that the quest is over and i can’t be of service in any way, they don’t care about me anymore? maybe i don’t fit in here in erebor?’

your sadness soon mingled with anger, and your anxiety remained

creating an uncomfortable knot in your stomach and a lump in your throat

what did you do to deserve this? they could at least tell you why

you had saved their sorry butts so many times

and when you saw them again, you planned to kick their sorry butts all the way to next tuesday for avoiding you

the day of the company supper (and your birthday) finally came

and despite your anger and confusion, you still decided to go

for multiple reasons

mostly because you wanted to confront them and ask why you had been ignored all week

and you also heard that bombur was making his famous apple tart with raspberry jam

evening came sooner than you realized

you saw that the clock read 5:45 and readied yourself as fast as possible

you quickly dressed yourself in your favorite outfit, pulled a cardigan over it, and ran a brush through your hair

you rushed down the long halls of erebor, keeping your pace quick

you finally turned the corner and came face to face with what had been dubbed as the “company room,” for all the time they spent in it

you felt your hand shake slightly as you grasped the cool metal handle

slowly, you opened the door, preparing to be met with the high, stone walls and rich velvet furniture

but you opened the door to find... nothing?

you squinted your eyes, trying to see into the pitch black room

“hello,” you called out. “thorin? fíli? kíli? is anyone here?”

all of a sudden, the candles and lanterns were lit, and people jumped out from behind furniture and under tables

“SURPRISE,” they yelled. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY (Y/N)!”

you didn’t say anything for a few seconds

you could only stare, dumbfounded, at the people in front of you

everyone was there. the whole company, including bilbo, dís, and tauriel

“w-what?” you tentatively asked. “what is going on?”

kíli piped up, a large smile on his face

“it’s your birthday party!! don’t you like it? we’ve spent all week planning it!”

you took quite a few seconds to look around the room

it was decorated with streamers made of beautiful fabric, and banners hung from the walls

a large pile of wrapped gifts lay in the corner

and in the center of the room was a huge table with a feast fit for a king

as the clocks on the wall continued to tick, you heard dís mutter “kíli if you got the date wrong i swear to mahal...”

you spoke up, “no, no. he’s right. it is my birthday. but... i don’t understand. you guys did all of this... for me?”

bilbo stepped forward, thumbing his suspenders, “why of course! it’s your birthday! we wouldn’t miss a chance to properly celebrate our girl’s birthday.”

“so you guys weren’t avoiding me all week because you think i don’t belong in erebor?” you asked

the room exploded with yells of anger, confusion, and outrage

“why in durin’s name would you think that?” thorin asked after the chaos died down, furrowing his brows in confusion.

“well you guys were avoiding me all week. i didn’t know what to think.”

dori hurried over to you, draping a blanket around your shoulders and steering you towards the couch.

“yes dear, come this way, and we will explain everything. don’t you worry, sweetling,” he soothed.

everyone gathered to find seats around you

kíli shifted uncomfortably on his feet and bit his lip. “i’m so sorry (y/n)! when i found out your birthday was coming up, i felt terrible that we didn’t know sooner, so i hurried to collect everyone and devise a plan.”

ori interjected, a worried frown on his face, “we were all so excited to plan your party, we must have forgotten to keep you distracted.”

“we meant no harm by it,” fíli added.

“aye,” said thorin. “and about that complete and utter nonsense you were spouting earlier: you belong in erebor just as much as any dwarf here. you are our family. and we wanted to celebrate you today.”

of course, you burst into tears

*cue panicked company*

“oh mahal, what did we do now?”

“i bet thorin said something wrong” “shut up dwalin”

“oh no lass, please don’t cry!”

through your sobs, you somehow found your way over to thorin, seeking cuddles

he scooped you up and sat you gently in his lap

you buried your face in his chest, clutching at his tunic with your hands, allowing his scent of smoke and pine trees to wash over you

his large hand rubbed soothing circles on your back as he mumbled assurances

bilbo held and stroked your hand gently

and you felt others reaching out with their own soothing touches

you eventually found yourself at the center of a huge group hug, not that you minded at all

group hugs did seem to be inevitable in this family

through tears, you explained that you were relieved, and so very thankful for the party

you apologized for jumping to conclusions and overreacting, but everyone insisted you had nothing to apologize for

after you eventually calmed down enough, bofur spoke up

“well i think you’ve done enough cryin’ this evenin,’ now haven’t ye’ lass? it is your birthday after all. i say we start the party!”

everyone agreed

as you all found seats at the table, you allowed yourself a moment to admire the spread

bombur had truly outdone himself this time

the table was full of food of all sorts. salted pork, mince pies, all kinds of cheeses, potatoes, biscuits, sausages, meats, and stews.

oh and don’t forget the ale- and lots of it!

you sat and ate until your stomach could handle no more

all the while listening to and telling stories, and laughing as bilbo reprimanded the dwarves’ bad manners

then came dessert

the company insisted to do by “your people’s traditions” and sing you happy birthday.

they were completely off key and didn’t know the tune at all

but it was perfect. it was more than perfect.

you dug into a few small slices of your favorite flavor of cake

fili may or may not have smashed kili’s face into his cake, leading to a wrestling match that had to be broken up by dwalin

after cake, came presents

once you saw all of the boxes, you protested vehemently, insisting you didn’t need all of this

which led into many more speeches preaching that you deserve all of this and more

so with a light blush staining your cheeks, you opened the gifts one by one

they were perfect

- forged by thorin: a sword with various gems emblazoned on the hilt (“so you can properly threaten any suitors you find yourself approached by in the coming months”)

- from bilbo: a handmade handkerchief embroidered with your initials and your favorite flowers (“well this would have come in handy earlier, now wouldn’t it?”)

- from fíli: one of his lucky knives (“see here, you can strap it on your thigh for easy access”)

- from kíli: a poorly knitted bear with one eye sewed on haphazardly (he made it himself, and he tried his best) because you had mentioned missing your stuffed animals before

- from tauriel: miruvor that she acquired from rivendell (for emergency’s- just in case)

- from dís: a quilt with the lonely mountain embroidered on it (“to keep you warm and remind you of home”)

- from balin: a collection of classic dwarven stories in a thick, leather-bound book

- from dwalin: a fluffy fur coat and a pair of gloves (“a wee lass like you will freeze in these winters without proper protection”)

- from ori: a beautiful portrait of yourself

- from nori: hair pins that also function as lock picks (“s’no harm in being careful”)

- from dori: your favorite tea (“a warm cup of tea is both the perfect way to start the day and the perfect way to end the day”)

- from bifur: a beautiful bouquet of flowers, hand picked and arranged by him

- from bofur: an intricate wooden carving of your favorite animal

- from bombur: a bountiful basket of honey cakes, carefully wrapped for future snacking

- from oin: fancy haircare and skincare supplies

- and from gloin: a necklace with a beautiful stone pendant

it was entirely too much, but, as you have come to learn, your family doesn’t do simple

especially when it comes to you

you thanked everyone many times, not knowing how to fully express your gratitude

the night, as kili had promised, followed with many stories and much laughter

and lots of ale

you tried to sneak a sip of thorin’s

AS A JOKE

a joke that he did not find very amusing

you spent the rest of the evening listening to tales of old, your head drooping to rest on tauriel’s shoulder

you recall the night getting darker, the fire slowly burning out, and the laughter becoming quieter

the gentle pressure of a coat being placed on you

and strong arms wrapped around your small frame, pulling you to a warm chest

helping you easily drift off into a peaceful sleep

you woke up in the early morning next day, before the sun had even risen

apparently everyone had become so tired and it was so late that they decided to just sleep in the “company room” for the night

no one had any sense of personal space while they slept not that you minded

you felt arms wrapped around you and draped over your stomach, hands brushing yours, feet propped up on you, and more

all were asleep, save yourself

you sat up slowly, careful not to disturb the others, and took a look around

to soak it all in

to enjoy the moment

snoring dwarves

a hobbit, curled up in a cocoon of blankets

an elf, hugging a pillow close to her chest as she slept

and you, right in the middle of it all

you gave a small smile as you eased yourself back onto the couch

this was peace

this was contentment

this was home

[swiss-cheeze]

We All Sin Agent Hotchner || Aaron Hotchner

Request: YES/NO

Gender: none, they/them

Warnings: oh jesus, murders (duh), talk of sins, mentions of abortion, talk of sexual and physical abuse, child molestation, mention of a drug addiction.

Description: you’ve killed 12 by murder and another 13 by proxy, as you get interviewed by Hotch and Reid they finally find out why you killed up to 12 and another 13 but when you start mentioning the teams owns sins you get rather bored.

Disclaimer: OKAY BASICALLY, background before you read? Your parents went through a divorce when you were 12 and then your mother sexally and physically abused you at age 13; this is why you killed 12 people, however the other 13 you killed by proxy because they were all sinners. You got someone else to kill them for you (mentioned in the fic), the background to this is because your mother was catholic, so you grew up catholic; you couldn't kill those 13 other sinners because it's a sin but the 12 you could because it was the year for the divorce but the 13 you couldn't because that was from the sexual and physical abuse.

Disclaimer: I AM NOT RELIGIOUS, this is all based off of research from my own questions over the years as well as the quick engine search for this fic. The ‘sins’ the team has commited are ones I’ve found on their profiles on the Criminal Minds Wiki and twisted it a little to the use of the plot; GIDEON AND ELLE ARE MENTIONED IN THIS FIC AS MERE MENTIONS, THEY ARE NOT IN THE TEAM (this team consists of the OG; Prentiss, Hotch, Reid, Morgan, Garcia, Rossi and J.J.)

-------

“Jesus Christ what should we do?” Emily questioned as the team stood around the round table. They caught the unsub of course, however they needed a confession, and you were not budging.

“Thirteen murders and twelve by proxy,” J.J. muttered and looked to the victim board, “that's a lot before we got brought in, is there any significance that we can use against them?” the team looked to Spencer who simply shrugged.

“The number 13 is considered an unlucky number in some countries,” Spencer started, “the end of the Mayan calendar's 13th Baktun was superstitiously feared as a harbinger of the apocalyptic 2012 phenomenon. Fear of the number 13 has a specifically recognized phobia called triskaidekaphobia which was coined in 1911” Spencer ended his little ramble but it still did little for the team, you hadn't done anything towards those facts or any others that Spencer could recall, same with your twelve additional murders.

“Well we have to find a reason otherwise (Y/n) could have bail and hit again in a few years,” Aaron said as he leant against the chairs, “there has to be something”

“When (Y/n) was twelve their parents split?” Garcia questioned, “and then thirteen was when they oh no-”

“What, what you got baby girl?” Derek questioned as he moved to lean over Garcia's computer.

“Umm, okay these are direct quotes from a medical? Thing?” Garcia questioned again.

“That sounded like a question Garcia, what is it?” J.J. said fiercely.

“Okay okay umm,” Garcia did a little more typing, “at age thirteen (Y/n) was brought into their nearby medical centre from their house, because they lived with their mum, and they always came in with multiple bruises ‘in the shape of hands, occasionally cuts and multiple sexual assaults’ oh poor baby,” Garcia mumbled her last few words, “sexual assault from their mum at age thirteen? That would suck”

“If that's all we have to work with then that's what we’ll use,” Hotch said as he gathered a few files randomly, “Reid i want you to go into the room with (Y/n), set up a conversation regarding their childhood, specifically ages twelve and thirteen; (Y/n) is used to alpha males and females, they won't be expecting someone like you,” Emily snorted softly as Hotch handed Spencer the random files.

“And what do i do with these?” Spencer questioned, they literally were all random files and were not in order, that bugged the poor Doctor a little but he knew better than to fix it.

“Look through them alot,” Hotch responded, “pretend to fall back on things you already know from the profile and the murders, try and look through multiple files at once; (Y/n) is a curious killer but knows what they’ve done and the reason, they like to play with their food and in this case food is-”

“People got it,” Spencer said quickly before ducking out of the door, down the catwalk and towards the room you were being held.

“Hotch,” Derek said suddenly, “you do know this is about you right?” the man said, everyone looked up confused as their unit chief nodded.

“That’s why i sent in Reid, when (Y/n) gets fed up and calls for me i'll go in and i'll get the final details we need” and with that Hotch walked out of the door and in the same direction as Spencer as Derek showed the rest of the team how it was about Hotch.

-------

“(Y/n), you were sexually assaulted multiple times at the age of thirteen, tell me more about that?” Spencer questioned, you didn't budge in your seat nor did you show any signs of knowing what he was talking about besides the slight flinch he noticed when he mentioned the age.

“Why,” you said softly, your voice came out gravelly, “what is it you want to know?”

“Well, it was from your…” Spencer flipped through multiple files, making sure to keep them out of your line of sight before landing on a random one, “mother” you scoffed.

“Bitch, slag, whore, slut,” was all you said in response.

“How?” Spencer questioned.

“SHE MOLESTED ME,” you blew up, slamming the table, “BEAT ME AND MOLESTED ME, SENT ME TO SCHOOL IN THE MORNING, THE ONLY SAFE PLACE I KNEW BEFORE I HAD TO GO HOME AT THE SAME TIME EVERY DAY TO HER HANDS, HER EYES, HER MOUTH AND SOMETIMES HER FUCKING FRIENDS,” you struggled to breath as your body vibrated from the added adrenalyne.

“(Y/n), i need you to calm down,” Spencer said, he didn't even flinch at your explosion but he knew the signs of an early panic attack, “what's special about you is that you have so much anxiety, self doubt and self loathing and yet you still lured in twenty five people to kill,” Spencer mentioned.

“Twelve,” you said in a low voice, “I only killed twelve i had nothing to do with the others,” your eyes flickered to Spencer who started packing the files; he had gotten half the confession.

“Thank you for your time-”

“I want Hotchner,” you said with a grin, knowing exactly what that meant as Spencer paused for a moment, “even you noticed it Doctor, you saw all those victims that look like him, high class, business, lawyers, close to the justice system…” you started pointing out the similarities.

“I'll see what I can do,” Spencer said before leaving the room. The click of the lock made you giggle, then laugh, then cackle. The team watched from the two way mirror as you had a slight psychotic break in the chair you were chained to.

“GIVE ME AARON FUCKING HOTCHNER,” you screamed, “otherwise ill have to kill his little boy~” you sang with an evil grin. The team stiffened as your words floated through the room.

“They wouldn't,” J.J. said, “we didn't profile accomplices,”

“No but (Y/n) did kill by proxy,” Hotch said, “anyone could have anything trained on my little boy,” the unit chief said before he opened the interrogation room and your loud gasp came through the monitors.

“Hotchie!” you exclaimed happily, your grin was sick as your posture changed and you sat upright.

“Don't call me that,” Hotch said calmly, “you just confessed to twelve murders, now we need you to confess to the other thirteen-”

“I didn't do it,” you said immediately, “I simply helped victims with their own troubles,” you said with another sick grin as you leant forward, “you've got your own troubles too don't you Hotchie?” you questioned.

“I told you not to call me that,” Hotch responded as he stared you dead in the eye.

“A dead wife,” you grinned, “murdered wife I should say, son who almost, kind of, slightly doesn't trust you. Why?” you looked to Hotch with a grin, “you’re never there for him the poor thing” you said with a fake pout, “i should know what that's like, divorced at age twelve, molested at age thirteen, wow what a rocky fucking year those two where huh?” you questioned with a grin as the room door opened and out stepped a delicious looking man who handed Hotch a file. You whistled low, “Sexy little things aren't you here at the BAU huh?” you questioned with a grin as he left, it wasn’t the doctor from before but that didn't matter, you had the man you wanted right in front of you as he looked over a file, “what's that?” you questioned with a jut of your chin to the files.

“Damian Field,” Hotch started, you barely remembered the name let alone the face, “shot execution style, was a pedophile on three accounts,” you grinned, so that techy finally figured it out, “Emily Guard, shot execution style, multiple accounts of stealing and piracy, Dellie Parafield, shot execution style, stealing, looting, poisoning her mother and-”

“Did you finally figure it out?” you asked, cutting off the man you loved.

“You wrote ‘sinner’, at each crime scene, that's why there's thirteen and when we didn't find you quick enough you came to us,” Hotch said, you grinned.

“Thirteen dead, not because of me, but thirteen dead,” you shrugged, “know why?”

“Your mother grew up catholic,” you grinned.

“We got every single one of those people to confess agent,” you said with a sick grin as the team watched on, “they confessed for every sin they committed and died respectively because of it,”

“You're a sinner,” Hotch said as if it were a fact, you scoffed.

“I aint,” was your response.

“You killed twelve and another thirteen by proxy,” Hotch reminded you, tears filled your eyes as you sniffled.

“That's not good,” Derek muttered as he watched through the glass.

“They deserved it,” you said softly.

“And you don't?” Hotch questioned.

“AT LEAST I SEE MY SINS!” you exclaimed loudly, causing a few of the team to jump, “if you realise your sins and apologise to the lord he will forgive, and he forgives me,” you nodded with a sniffle as tears trekked down your face, “he sees what i've done and he praises me!” you said with a laugh.

“Have you ever met god (Y/n)?” Hotch questioned, you rolled your eyes.

“What, you sayin’ i'm a liar too?” you asked with a grin, “that's a sin too Aaron,” you said with a grin.

“You're not a liar but you are a bad killer, you left everything out in the open and you led us right to you and when we hit a dead end you came to us,” Hotch reminded you again, “do you confess to twelve murders and thirteen murders by proxy?” he questioned again.

“No.” you grinned, “i ain't the one who killed ‘em!” you exclaimed again as Hotch stood up and walked out of the room. This only fueled your rage as you started thrashing your wrists in the cuffs they were being held by, “WE’RE ALL SINNERS AARON HOTCHNER” you screamed, you grinned as you felt the teams eyes all watching you from behind the mirror.

“Who's the accomplice?” Emily questioned.

“We’ll find out in a second,” Hotch said calmly.

“You think you’re safe!? From who but the lord!?” you shook your head, “Elle Greenaway,” you started, the team became rigid, “shot an...what do you guys call us? Unsub?” you laughed, “shot an unsub and you rid it off as self defense,” you held up a finger, “that's one sin agent Hotchner. Jason Gideon, stole hotel toiletries,” you grinned as another finger went up, “thats called stealing Hotchner, Derek Morgan, considered suicide after molestation,” you put up another finger, “thats three now Hotchner, Emily Prentiss, abortian at age fifteen,” another finger went up, “Hotchner im all for abortians and i dont personally find them a sin, however unfortunately thats not what catholics and christians see,” you grinned, “four. Jennifer Jareau, I unfortunately only recently found out about you even though you've been with the team for a few years. Fortunately for Hotchner it stays at four,” you waved your fingers in the air, “David Rossi,” you scoffed, “married and divorced three times,” you added three fingers and whistled, “that's added a lot to the load already Hotchner, up to seven now,” you sighed as you had to use your other hand, “Doctor Spencer Reid, wow” you laughed, “what? Drug addict, liar, that Lila woman who i'm going to add simply because i feel like it,” you waved both hands as much as you could and laughed softly, “damn, that Doctor is racking it up a lot Hotchner!” you exclaimed.

“Hotch we’re not getting anywhere with this,” Rossi said with a sigh as he looked to the saddened faces of his team mates.

“Just another second Dave, it'll work.” Hotch said, his eyes still glued to your frame, “when i was in their (Y/n) said ‘we’, there is an accomplice we just have to wait for their slip up” and that's when you did, it wasn't a slip but technically but you were bored.

“UGGGHHH,” you groaned, “Lily!” you exclaimed, “Lily Raymond, she's in our safehouse,” the team was about to walk away to find this ‘lily’ before you gave them a deal, “Aaron Hotchner i will give you the address if only you let us stay in the same cell, AND,” you grinned and bit your lip, “let me give you a big smooch,” the team sighed.

“Hotch you can't,” Emily said.

“If we want that address he’ll have to,” Rossi said softly as Hotch walked into the room and did just as you asked.

He kissed you.

[staticscreenwriting]

Until we say goodbye || two

Warning! This multipart story takes place after the events of season 3. There’s huge spoilers already in the synopsis down below. I warned you.

Synopsis: (Y/N) Hargrove has to come to terms with the fact that her twin brother is dead and she had to watch him die, unable to do anything about it. There is something she can do for him now though and that’s keeping a promise. The promise to go back home to California. Together. In order to drive cross country and spread Billy’s ashes in a place where the Hargrove kids used to be happy, (Y/N) enlists the help of Steve Harrington. Steve Harrington who decides that it’s time to break out from his parents expectations and be the person he always wanted to be.

This time on “Until we say goodbye”: The teens stay at a quirky motel. Steve talks to mama Harrington and (Y/N) give us a look into her childhood.

(caution: mention of death, emotional abuse, slight mention of physical abuse, mention of alcohol // if you need me to tag any other possible triggers let me know)

One // 

Part 2 of ?

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

Help a girl out with a reblog, thank you ♥

And if we hit on troubled water

I’ll be the one to keep you warm and safe

And we’ll be carrying each other

Until we say goodbye on our dying day

A cool breeze is blowing past (Y/N) as she sits on edge of the old abandoned lifeguard tower, feet dangling in the air. She’s well aware of the fact that the wind is making a mess of her hair, leaving it a tangled mess. She doesn’t really give a shit though.

The beach is practically deserted except for her and the couple strolling by the shore, throwing sticks for their puppy every once in a while. They seem so happy, as if nothing matters but them and their dog and the ocean.

Her thoughts wander towards Pumpkin, the little Jack Russell puppy they adopted a few years ago when dad was dating this woman named Laura. Laura loved dogs and dad loved Laura and so when she moved in, so did Pumpkin.

(Y/N) loved that stupid dog, hell even Billy did. But like all good things in the Hargrove’s life, this one didn’t last very long either. Dad messed up his relationship with Laura and Laura was smart enough to get the fuck out and take Pumpkin with her. 

The thumping of boots against the wooden planks of the lifeguard tower, pulls (Y/N) back from her trip down memory lane. 

Billy plops down next to her, fumbling a cigarette from the pocket of his denim jacket and lighting it. He’s started smoking a few months ago, just after the twins 13th birthday. Dad was really mad when he found that first cigarette hole in the carpet of their room. 

“ Why are you here ? ‘s about to storm “ Billy mumbles around the cigarette dangling from the corner of his lips.

“ Dad’s being as asshole “ 

“ As per usual “ Billy scoffs, “ what happened ? “ 

“ He found out that I pierced my ears, said I look like a slut. “ 

The words still sting even now that she repeats them to her brother. (Y/N) doesn’t think it’s something a father should say, especially to his daughter. It’s just earrings, what’s the big deal ? 

It doesn’t make her a slut. Right ? 

“ What the fuck does he know. He still lives in 1971 with his ugly ass mustache“ Billy jokes, effectively getting a laugh from his twin sister. 

“ You know what the worst part is ? “ (Y/N) asks.

“ Hmm ? “ 

“ I think my ears might be infected. They burn like hell. “ 

“ Ya know what ? That’s your own damn fault. I told you using Galliano liqueur was not the best way to sanitize the needle. “ 

(Y/N) chuckles, nodding her head in agreement. “ Yeah, you were right, I admit it “.

“ Good. “ 

She turns to look at her brother. His hair is growing longer now, the curls sitting messily on his head reminding her of crashing waves during a thunderstorm.

Dad hates that Billy is growing his hair and and (Y/N) is fairly sure that’s part of the reason why Billy likes his hair so much. Everything that pisses off their dad is a good think in Billy’s book.

“ Still think you should’ve let me pierce one of your ears. Would’ve looked damn cool. “ she says, teasing smirk playing on her lips.

Billy shakes his head, curls bouncing from the motion. He’s mirroring her smirk though.

“ No fucking way. Never. “ 

(Y/N) finger plays with the tiny silver spike dangling from her ear as her eyes focus on the scenery passing by the window. There’s not a lot to see really, it’s almost pitch black outside. They’re on the road for about an hour and a half now but Steve keeps bringing up stopping.

He’s tired, (Y/N) can tell. Tired and still a bit freaked out by the whole situation.

“ So Terre Haute is coming up at I think we should see if we can find a place to stay the night, then stock up on food and gas tomorrow morning and drive through the entire day “.

Steve speaks up, more of a monologue than anything else. (Y/N) doesn’t mind how long the journey takes as long as they get to California in the end. She doesn’t mind stopping for the night. Doesn’t mind the occasional food or toilet breaks. Leaving Hawkins behind already feels liberating. 

Every mile they put between themselves and that fucking town feels like a weight lifted off her shoulder.

“ Alright, sounds good to me. We gotta find a cheap place though, I don’t have a lot of cash with me “.

“ S’alright I got it “ Steve exclaims.

“ I don’t need your charity, Harrington, “ (Y/N) snaps at him. Maybe it’s a Hargrove thing, being bad at accepting help from other people. From basically strangers.

For the biggest part of her life, (Y/N) only had Billy to depend on. Now that he’s gone it feels absolutely terrifying putting her trust in someone else.

“ Sorry I — that’s not what I meant. “ 

“ No, “ (Y/N) sighs “ I’m sorry for snapping. I know what you meant. It’s okay. “ 

There’s a thick awkward tension filling the car and (Y/N) absolutely hates it. 

“ Can I turn on the radio ? “ she asks motioning towards it. 

Steve nods in agreement. “ There should still be a mixtape in the player. “

With the push of a button the opening chords to Mötley Crües ‘Shout at the devil’ echo through the vehicle, making (Y/N) raise her eyebrows in surprise.

“ Steve Harrington, I did not expect you to listen to this kind of music “.

Steve just shrugs “ why not ? I like all kinds of music. “ 

“ Steve Harrington, Hawkins’ golden boy listening to the Devil’s music. That’s a surprise. “ 

“ Golden boy, “ Steve scoffs “ yeah right. I just about graduated High School. I didn’t get into college. I work at a video store and my own dad thinks I’m goddamn loser. “ 

“ You wanna talk about shitty dads ? Cause let me tell you, I’ll win that one. “ 

It’s quiet for a moment, before Steve clears his throat and speaks up again.

“ Can I ask you something ? “ 

“ Mmh “ 

“ What did they tell your dad happened ? Did they — did they really tell him that whole fire bullshit ? “ 

“ Yup. “ 

“ And he believed it ? “ 

(Y/N) nods. “ He did. He has no reason not to “.

The fire story. Authorities told Neil and elaborate story about how Billy died in a tragic accident in the big fire at Starcourt mall. Something about wrong place wrong time.

(Y/N) was there when they told him. Susan was crying hysterically. Max was — numb. Neil though. Neil didn’t even flinch. There was no sign of emotion. No sign of grieve. Nothing. Nothing at all.

“ I don’t think he gives a shit either, to be honest. “ 

“ That’s horrible. “ Steve exclaims.

“ That’s my dad for ya. “ 

Steve’s BMW rolls up to the parking lot of the Cardinal Inn Motel. It’s a small Motel complex and it looks like it’s seen better days. The walls are a dirty white, almost gray color and all doors are painted a bright red although most of the paint is chipping off. 

The kids enter the motel lobby, a small room decked out in all kinds of kitschy decor. There’s cross stitch art and paintings and decorative throw pillows. And all if it proudly features various images of a red cardinal bird. 

“ Welcome to the Cardinal Inn Motel. “ a chipper voice speaks up from behind the reception desk. “ I’m Ruth, how can I help ya ? “ 

Ruth is a plump little woman with a kind smile, round cheeks and extremely curly ginger hair. She looks more like a caricature than an actual person. Though (Y/N) thinks she fits this place perfectly. 

“ We would like twooo — ? “ Steve trails off and glances towards (Y/N) in question.

“ One “ 

“ — one room. With two beds though “. 

“ Oh sure sure. Let me see. It’s 32 $ for a night. “ Ruth says and opens a book, probably looking up which rooms are occupied and which rooms are free. She walks towards a board holding a lot of keys and takes one of handing it to Steve.

“ This is your room key, It’s number 44. When you step outside, the room is located in the building to your right. It’s on the first floor, first door once you walk up the stairs. I would have to ask for a down payment though. Just in case. “ 

Steve hastily pulls out a bundle of cash from his jeans, counting the right amount and handing it to Ruth. “ That’s the entire amount, we’re only staying for one night “.

“ Very well then. I hope you have a pleasant stay at the Cardinal Inn. “ Ruth chirps almost like a bird herself.

“ Thanks “ Steve says and walks towards the door.

(Y/N) stays rooted though, eyes wandering around the room from one red bird to the next to the next. 

“ Hey Ruth, “ she chimes up.

“ Yes, dear ? “ 

“ What’s with the birds ? “

“ Oh the cardinal ? That’s Indiana’s state bird. “ 

“ They’re funky looking little guys, huh ? “ 

“ Truly. They’re also very interesting. If you want to learn about them, they’re an informational brochure in every room. “ 

(Y/N) gives Ruth a soft smile then rushes after Steve, out into the chilly night air.

“ Knight Rider, really Harrington ? “ 

Steve sits up from his slumped position on the bed as (Y/N) comes back from the bathroom, freshly showered and dressed in her pyjamas. A choice of pyjamas she thoroughly regrets now as the cool air inside the motel room hits the skin of her legs. 

She’s dressed in a pair of short red pj pants and one of Billy’s old band shirts. One she’s stolen from his closet after — the incident. It smells like him. Makes her feel like he’s still there.

“ What, It’s good. “ 

“ It’s so stupid. It’s a talking car. “ 

“ Okay, whatever. You keep on hating but I tell you this show is gonna last forever and it’s gonna win all the awards. Trust me. “ 

“ Mmmh. Sure. Shower’s yours. “ 

Steve gathers some of his stuff from his duffle bag and moves towards the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

As she is left alone in the room, the gravity of it all comes crashing down on (Y/N). This is it. That trip she wanted to go on with Billy. That trip they had fantasized about since the moment they left California. 

Now it’s happening but it doesn’t feel right. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. With Billy in a thermos. With Billy — dead.

The room suddenly feels too small. Like the walls are gonna close in on her any second now. She needs air. Fresh air. Needs to get out of here. Now. Now.

So she does.

Slips on her shoes and the room key and dashes out through the door and into the night. It’s cold. Way too cold for the amount of clothing she’s wearing or not wearing depending on how you see it. 

For a while all she does is walk up and down the road, wishing she had remembered to take her pack of smokes with her. 

When it gets too cold though, she spots a neon sign in one of the windows of the Lobby building. “Souvenirs”.

She wonders if all of those souvenirs have red birds on them.

They don’t. Most of them do, but not all of them. A lot of them display what she can only assume are important buildings of  the city of Terre Haute, Indiana.

(Y/N) remembers the few trips she used to take with her mom and Billy, when they were just little kids. Mom loved to take them to the little quirky little towns across the coast and the kids loved exploring them. Billy always got a postcard, from every single place. (Y/N) got keychains. She still has a box of them stuffed beneath her bed at home. 

Her eyes wander around the room before they fall onto a display of all kinds of different postcards. Most of them, as expected, have birds on them. Though there’s one that doesn’t. It says “Terre Haute” in big bold letters. It reminds her of the ones Billy used to get from those coastal towns. 

Greetings from … the few happy childhood memories she can remember.

(Y/N) takes the card over towards the reception, where Ruth greets her with another of her signature Ruth smiles. Kind and warm.

“ Hi, dear. “ 

“ Hi uh — I want to buy this postcard. I can’t find a price though, ah shit I left my money up in the room let me just — “ 

Before she can hurry towards her room though, Ruth stops her.

“ It’s okay, Darling. You can have it for free. “

“ Oh no, I —  “

“ Please. You asked about the birds that pretty much the most anyone has cared about this place in a while. Take it. I want you to have it. “ 

It’s kinda sad, (Y/N) thinks. That her just asking about those silly birds made Ruth this happy. That people pay so little attention to her adorably little bird room.

“ Thank you, Ruth. That is very sweet of you. And this place is adorable. “ 

“ Thank you, dear. Do you need a stamp for that ? “

(Y/N) sighs “ No. No I don’t. “ 

The Bean is a little diner at the edge of town looking out onto the Wabash River. It’s emitting a perpetual smell of coffee and waffles and breakfast food.

Steve is munching down an entire plate of eggs and bacon. Oh to have the metabolism of a teenage boy.

(Y/N) takes another sip of her black coffee, hoping that the caffeine is gonna help keep her awake and not get too tired during their drive. After all they plan on being on the road for the entire day.

The pancakes on her plate are long forgotten. She hasn’t really been feeling like eating since it all happened. It’s like she’s acting on power saving mode. Always tired. Always sad. Always working on half speed.

“ You should eat something. You need it. “ Steve remarks.

“ Are you flirting with me ? ” 

“ I uh — what ? “ 

“ Male cardinals feed females as part of their courtship ritual. A female’s partner bears total responsibility for satisfying her dietary needs. “ 

“ How do you know this ?  “

(Y/N) smiles and takes another sip of coffee “ my friend Ruth recommended me some interesting reading material “.

She doesn’t mention that the nightmares didn’t allow her much sleep and that she spent most of the night staying up reading the informational magazine. There’s things Steve just doesn’t need to know.

“ Alriiiight. “ Steve exclaims, eyebrows raised “ Hey, what’s that. You gonna send a card home ? “ he asks and motions towards the postcard she’d been scribbling on while he had been ordering their food.

“ Nah. Not really. This one’s for someone else “.

“ Alright … hey uh. I think I should call my parents “ 

She looks up from her cup at Steve’s words. This can’t be happening. She can’t go back home now. He can’t bail on her.

“ Harrington “ 

“ Don’t look at me like that, I’m not turning around and crawling back home. I just don’t want my mom to worry. I need her to know I’m safe. “ 

That’s right, Steve has a mom too, not just an asshole dad. A mom who cared and who worries and who loves. God it’s been so long since (Y/N) had one of those.

“ Okay, yeah. But um — can you not mention my name. I don’t want any news to get to my dad. “ 

“ Of course. Yeah, no worries.“ 

“ Thanks “.

Despite what Billy always said about him, Steve seems to be an alright guy after all. His hair’s ridiculous though.

It rings once, twice, three times before someone picks up.

“ Hello ? “

“ Mom, it’s me. “ 

“ Oh god Steve. Honey where are you I’m worried sick “. 

That sends a little pang to his heart. His mother is a nice lady, she loves him deeply and she doesn’t deserve for him to worry her like that. But this is something Steve has to do, if not for (Y/N) then for himself. 

“ I’m alright mom. I’m taking a friend on a — uh a roadtrip. “ 

“ A roadtrip ?” 

“ Yea. To uh — “ his mind wanders to Billy. “ We’re going to help her brother “.

“ Okay, well are you alright ? “

No. He hasn’t been alright in a long time. Since 1983 to be completely honest.

Maybe this trip is just what he needs. A way out. An escape. 

Steve leans his head against the payphone, taking a deep breath.

“ I don’t know, mom. But I’m safe and I need to just — just get away. “ 

“ Is this because of what happened with the Holland girl ? Or the mall ?“ 

Yes. All of it. If only she knew.

“ It’s just a lot lately. Can you just trust me in this, mom. That I’m doing what’s best for me ? “ 

His mother hesitates for a moment before clearing her throat.

“ Of course I do, sweet boy. But I am a mom and I do worry. I always will. “

It warms his heart. To know someone does care and someone does love him, no matter how much he messes up.

“ I know. I love you and I’ll be back soon. I promise. I just need to do this, for me.“ 

“ Be safe, Steve “ 

“ I will. “ 

Before he hangs up he can just about make out his father’s voice in the background, asking if “that’s him” and “what’s he messed up this time ? “

And it once again becomes crystal clear why getting on the road with (Y/N) is the best decision he’s made in a long time.

He walks back over to her, as she leans against his car chewing some bright pink bubble gum.

“ You ready to head out ? “

“ Yup. Your parents mad ? “

“ No. Surprisingly not. Mom just wants me to be safe. “ 

“ Aw little Stevie. How adorable. Anyway let’s go. “

As they both settle back in their seats, Steve slides the signature dark shades back onto his nose and turns towards (Y/N). 

“ Sooo, snacks ? “ 

“ Snacks “ she nods and throws him one of her signature smirks “ definitely need some twizzlers to survive this trip “.

 “ Happy Birthday to me “ a freshly 9 year old (Y/N) mumbles as she buries her feet in the warm sand. It’s almost time for the sun to set behind the horizon and color the sky in beautiful shades of reds and pinks and oranges.

For the last 8 years this has been a moment she has shared with her mom. Every birthday the two of them would come down to the beach and watch the sunset. Just them two.

Billy had the morning to spend alone with mom, going to the beach to catch some waves, and (Y/N) got to have the evening. 

They’d sit and talk for hours and hours and hours. About everything. The silliest things.

This year she hasn’t so much as called. As if neither (Y/N) nor Billy ever existed in her life.

Billy’s been grumpy all day, refusing to spend time with his sister and deciding to go hang out with some of those stupid boys from the neighbourhood that always call (Y/N) dumb names.

(Y/N) watches the sun lower itself as if to drown the light in the dark water of the ocean, when a little plastic bag lands next to her. Just a moment later Billy drops down onto the ground too.

“ Got you some candy. Twizzlers, your favorite “ 

“ Did you steal them ? “ 

“ No, dingus. I bought them with my own money. “ 

“ Good. Means I don’t have to feel guilty when eating them. “ 

It’s silent for a moment as they sit beside each other, watching the sunset.

“ Hey I’m sorry “ Billy whispers, as if speaking any louder would mean destroying the magic of the moment.

“ It’s okay. You’re sad. I’m sad too. “ 

“ I’m not sad “ he claims “ I’m angry. So angry. “ 

“ You can be sad and angry at the same time. They’re not mutually exclusive. “ 

“ Stop using big words. “ 

“ Sorry. “ 

Billy takes a big breath “ I’ve decide “ he exclaims “ that from this moment on I’ll missing her. If she doesn’t want to come home, doesn’t want to see us. Screw her. I don’t need her and neither do you. “ 

(Y/N) knows that’s absolute bullshit but she also knows that Billy has a certain way of coping with loss and sadness and maybe she doesn’t share his ways or understand them fully but she can respect them if it means he’s less angry and less sad.

“ Okay. “ 

“ We don’t need her because we have each other “ he says, placing his hand on hers “ right ? “

In that moment, little (Y/N) knows that whatever the world is gonna throw her way, it’s only half as bad with her twin brother by her side.

“ Of course. Always “ 

If only they had known how terribly short ‘always’ would turn out to be.

_________

tags:

@sargent-barnes // 

[sadbi-hours]

So I guess 9x07 of ahs decided to come after my deeply angsty ass tonight...and my god, did it do it beauitfully!

Oh, god, this episode bruh...where do I begin?!

Well let's start with Benji! Just when I thought I couldn't connect or feel anything new for Benjamin after the 100th episode than I already processed, welp I ended up being 100% completely wrong...so freaking wrong! I felt it all for this man tonight...I felt everything I could possibly feel for him!

I felt that bittersweet happiness that he emoted after he said his final goodbye to his brother...and he did what he believed was the right thing (spoiler and tw ahead) for the first time in his life...by ending it forever!

That fucking logic hurt me deeply in my soul! I understood it on a gut level. It resonated with me...because for--I am going to get personal, but heck it was a very personal episode tonight--someone who's tried to end their life before, I can empathize with his logic of believing the people you love are better off without the burden of you!

He's thinking of what he believes is best for his son, protecting him the only way he had left and knew how to...he took it as a fool proof plan to defeat RR and end the horrors he started in 1940s by being forced to kill his own mother...who only ever wanted the same before grief and rage twisted her soul and intentions!

I mean that's some deep shit! And Miss Lily Rabe just decided to came for our souls tonight, huh?! Lol! Because how could I condemn her for what she's done! She lost her son in the worst way possible...let it fill her with rightful hate and rage and a call for justice and she unleashed her pent-up emotions in a horrifying way--i am seeing a recurring theme for the ladies of 1984!

And I kind of like how it tied into the blood curse of Camp Redwood! I've been wanting to know more about the camp's logic for keeping everybody who has died stuck there...and we got it and why it may not have been as intricate as some of Ryan's plot twists, I believe it worked beautifully! Sometimes simple is better...and The White Lady's hatred for the camp counselors of any kind is what has keep them there...not a moral thing per say was fucking brillent on his part! Plus Hello our little Friday the 13th easter egg so to speak lol!

And I will just say too that the writing was really on point this episode...for me at least! Ryan wasn't relying solely on soundtrack to get his point across on what we should be feeling...he let the shows composers and Lily and John's amazing acting do it for us and I think that was a wonderful decision!

And speaking of amazing acting, Lily and John both slayed it this episode...I mean their scenes together are what sold me on Ryan's twist! They broke my heart in two...I mean when Benji was giving his speak to the ghosts of Redwood even they were lowkey crying for him, except Montana...she didn't even bother to hide how deeply what he said touched her...and I think that she can relate to him deeply when it comes to losing a sibling that was in some ways your entire reason for existing!

And while we didn't get too much of Benji and Bobby's relationship...I feel like Bobby was probably Benji's only friend...someone despite his jealousy of, understood and listened to him! I see the recurring themes you are sending out there, Ryan Murphy...and tonight, just know that you have my full support of it haha!

(Warning for those who are anti Montana, dark xavier, or xantana...this is their little section but I won't be sticking on them much because there wasn't much of them tonight...which I actually liked but anyways...)

And I guess Montana just runs the ghosts of Camp Redwood now...I mean in her words: Choice! I believe that 100%...and I don't need to explain why lol...but I also like that while they are scared of her and they should be...they also subtly in some ways look to her for or to know how to express compassion! I mean, I love my girl but she is Montana (who hasn't shown much of it besides those two times with brooke in ep 2 and again with xavier in ep 5) and while I know that all of Camp Redwood was crying at Benji's speech, they all tried to hide how much it affected them...all except Montana! She so to speak openly weep for him...and showed him that she understood and felt for him by once again offering up one of her homeboys off as tribute to take him to his mother...

And tbh, I don't know how I feel about that...It could just be Montana always trying to adapt to what people need and crave from others as a way to get what she wants...or she does it because deep down that's who she is: always giving up who she truly is to be what people need her to be!

Richard wanted a ruthless sex kitten...she gave that to him, but that was to get him to do what she wanted...but it still in a way makes my point lol...anynhow, Chet seems to be seeking something of a sister/mother type figure and she's given that to him, by looking out for him and keeping him in check...Xavier wants to have control over his situation, she gave him that (tho my xantana loving ass still thinks there is more to it than that but that's for another day)... Ray wants someone to take his moral conflicts out on, well she lets him bitch her out as he cleans up her kills... and everyone in Redwood wants to leave, she hatches a whole ass plan to maybe help release them from it...and Trevor wants what could have been, so well you know...and I ain't mad because we all know Montana lives for variety and no matter how much she loves someone, she'll never be 100% faithful in a sexual manner, so who knew I'd come to a day i'd be cool with that, but she has never lied about that part of her...and in some ways, she remains me a lot of Brian Kinney from Queer as Folk, who was very similar in that belief...and I swear it's so nice to see a woman in media allowed to be that sexually open and not condemned for it by the people around her who matter...

But we will see, Xavier has been known to be a jealous boy when it comes to Trevor...so who knows how that will turn out?!

And look I know I may be reaching, but that's what I've come away with for her this ep. and I'm just airing it out there haha!

And that leads me to Brooke and her whole debacle this episode:

Not only do Donna and Brooke need a freaking hug after this episode, but I truly thought I couldn't love Brooke more after last ep...and I was pleasantly wrong on both beliefs lol!

I loved her struggle to trust Donna and her motives for helping her...all understandable! Donna and the entire lot of those she's blindly trusted have fucked her over, but I love that here her trust wasn't misplaced. Donna only ever wanted to fix what she's caused...and she never wanted anything else from her. She gave back to Brooke what Brooke gave to her: trust and understanding.

I mean she was so in sync with what Brooke was trying to do with rushing her with the truck...not for a moment did Donna believe she was trying to kill her and I adore it! I seriously thought for a moment that Brooke was going to let her trauma and need for revenge allow her to become Montana 2.0 but she didn't! Brooke has completely stuck to what she believes is right these last two episodes and I 100% love her for it.

And I also liked that entire roller rink scene...and it's underling purpose! Donna let her experience some of what she missed in 80s while in prison...and thank you Ryan Murphy for having one character in 1984 actually in a way healthily air their traumas in a safe place...with a trustworthy (ish) person...and in return get almost a heathy response on how to cope with it!

I forever will give you kudos for that, but I also understand this is ahs and this is also a homage to 80s slashers and the main final character always returns to their greatest horror...and for Brooke that's Margaret and Camp Redwood, but my girl Donna decided to fuck it all and be a ride or die bff for a bitch...and I stan it so hard!

I love how we are getting ahs' verison of a positive female relationship...i'd never thought I'd see the day haha! Ryan just giving everyone something this season!

And Dylan's character, Bruce (?) is it bad I want to see more of him, even tho he's clearly psychotic and probably be looking to end Brooke's life after what she did...which I cheered her on the whole way as she did it...but yeah, please give me more of Dylan's insane character! Please and thank you...as if we didn't have enough chaos going on with only two episodes left, I also want Dylan's brand to be added to the mix haha!

And to Margaret, I still only have one thing to say...

I mean Lavinia said (@scienceandmischief for pointing it out her name to me! Thanks so much ❤) that Margret was already unhinged...Lily's character just nudged her in the direction she wanted to go...she still needs to pay for what she's done and hopefully my wifey Brooke will be the one coming to collect...but I am fascinated by a few things. Has Margaret's fanatic religious talk...been her deep down way of trying to atone for what TWL awoken in her and the things she's done?! I mean I don't know if it really matters at this point with her...but it still makes my brain wheels churn.

[mayaparker]

Corndogs & Clarifications;

@ianncardero & Maya talk ghosts and healing

Day turned into evening, but the celebrations continued. Fortunately, Iann wasn't inebriated, so he got to take a stroll around, taking in his surroundings and enjoying the simple act of people watching. He felt an incredible calm, which was rare for him. So when the moment struck, he tended to grab on and appreciate that calm for what it as worth. He caught up with Maya Parker again, nodding at her to invite her to stroll with him. "So I can't remember - you just ended up in one other-world, or more than one?"

Maya had finished her milkshake awhile ago and switched it out for water. She'd grabbed a corndog earlier too. As she wandered the celebration, she caught sight of Iann who gave her a nod. She took his invitation. However his question made her take a deep breath. "More than one. About half a dozen of them all together," she replied, "You?"

"A few myself, and each one I thought I'd be prepared for after the last, but nope. Still pulled the rug from under my feet every time." Iann eyed the corndog, wondering when was the last time he'd had a corndog. They were ridiculously delicious. "I'm just glad I ended up with people who were able to, y'know. Take ass and kick names."

Maya nodded, "You can say that again." For her, the last one had been the most difficult. But they were all their own kind of horrible. "I don't know if I know anybody in this town who can't kick ass when it comes down to it," she replied. There were probably a few, but so many people seemed to seek haven here and no one who needed safe haven hadn't been through a trial. "You think it's really over?" she asked.

"I can't," Iann volunteered readily with a grin. "So I guess I just ended up in the right town for everyone to protect my sorry ass. Then again, if I was in another town, this shit would never happen. Ah well..." For Iann, he could defend and justify the weirdness and danger of the supernatural world until he was blue in the face, even if it meant fatality for him. "I trust everyone around me who can sense it's over. Some magical folk just have that sixth sense about these things, y'know? And when you're surrounded by many people who have that sixth sense, and seventh sense, and even eighth sense..." Iann nodded towards the chillaxing townsfolk. "...supernaturals make for very good weather vanes. So to speak."

"Suppose I can't argue with that," Maya replied, "Any of it really." She waved her corn dog as she made an all encompassing sort of gesture. When he said that he trusted it was over, she nodded. She did get that sense. Whatever magic that had been pulling them into the twisted Wonderlands felt gone. But she couldn't trust it. "Did anyone ever figure out who was causing all of it?" she asked. Maybe that would help her feel less like there was still an ax hanging over their heads.

Iann frowned, as he thought about that prison world, with Essie Caird. "Avi...Sharma, I guess his name was? He's not dead, but he's not alive either. At least, I don't think. Essie and I encountered him in one of the worlds. He behaved like some sort of spirit guide for us to get out of that world. And free his long-lost brother. Who was actually alive. Now that guy's disappearance is a whole other can of beans. Buddy used to be Sheriff of Soapberry, before shit went down and he disappeared for years."

"So this Avi was causing all of it?" Maya asked, brow furrowed. She took a bite of her corndog. "Wasn't he the guy who got killed in that medieval fantasy world we were in?" she asked, "Is that when he...not died?" She didn't know if Iann knew all of that, but he might. Mostly she was just curious about it.

"I don't know. Him, or his brother. There was always rumours that the old Sheriff didn't disappear naturally, like. He didn't just die, or skip town. But I...well I never looked into it. Got too busy." Because there was always something new happening in Soapberry, for Iann. Some crisis or issue or panic. Iann hadn't considered the connection to the fantasy world, but Maya did make a good point. "He was only there to die, wasn't he. Maybe that's when all this shit started. Because that was actually some other-world that we all got pulled into. Maybe that rift opened the town up for the potential for more rifts."

Maya chewed thoughtfully on another bite of corndog. "That would make sense. Or that combined with that other thing you were talking about, like magical residue or something?" Maybe that first rift had broken the ice for all these other ones. She supposed that she might never know properly. It seemed like with the Sharma brothers gone though, it was properly over. "Guess that does mean that whole thing is properly over then," she said although with no real finality in her voice. After a moment of silence, she added, "I saw my mom again. In one of them."

"You're boning up on your magical know-how, huh?" Iann said with a grin. "I mean, you're the witch, so I'd defer to your instinct. It's a part of who you are." It wasn't like witchery was like mathematics, something to learn. It was inherent, like being right or left handed. It was a characteristic that Iann could never have. "You did, huh?" Iann said, surprised when Maya shared about her mother.

"I've had a surprising amount of time on my hands," Maya replied, a statement which was true due to her inability to get a proper night's sleep. She gave him a smile , "I mean, I'd get a second opinion if I were you. But yeah, it feels gone." She nodded, smile turning bittersweet when he asked to confirm about her mother. "I did, I think they all went back to wherever they came from. The ghosts, I mean," she explained.

"Ahhh, letting Tuah do all the boring-ass paperwork setup shit for the bakery thing, huh? Smart," Iann grinned. He was being facetious; he could read between Maya's lines, but he didn't ask her about it directly. He'd learned by now that she allowed herself to be direct with questions, but disliked directness reciprocated. "This is my second opinion," he said as he looked at the Town Square. Iann nodded about the ghosts. "Yeah. I found my, ah, ghost as well. With Tuah, coincidentally." Mostly a coincidence in so much as Iann knew Maya was business-partnered to Tuah. "And yeah - she got her ass kicked back to her afterlife. So I guess you mother went back to her everlasting feast with your pops."

Maya gave a laughed, "Well, obviously. We all know I can't do math." She appreciated that Iann had changed his way of asking her questions. He seemed to appreciate direct more than anything else, so that was how she asked him things. Today though she didn't tell him that she hadn't been sleeping. She knew what he would say. She should ask for help. Her friends would want her to ask for help. But she was too terrified of what it felt like it would mean for her to do so. "Who else said it was over?" she asked, wanting a second opinion herself. Aside from nodding, Maya didn't react much to Iann's words at first. She was thinking about his ghost and hers. "Do you think they were real? The nothingness she talked about or the eternal feasting my mom said?" she asked.

"This," Iann answered again, motioning around to the people around them. "This is my second opinion. The entire town out and relaxed, and no rifts opening up and swallowing anyone for hours. Instinct, remember? Magical instinct." Iann pointed upwards, at the giant glowing moon. "Friday the 13th, on a Harvest Full moon? C'mon. I'm sure even your dulled witch-senses are tingling." As for the ghosts, Iann hummed under his breath. "Okay where'd you get the corndog, I want one," he said first to dispel the potentially grim air. Then he said, "When Annie went away, she mentioned that nothing again. She had no reason to lie about it - it's not like she wanted to make me feel better, and she couldn't make me feel bad about it."

Maya looked around too. People did look happy and relaxed. Plus, Iann was right. No one had been swallowed by a rift during the festival. Maya took a deep breath and let it out. She could sense magic in the air, although none of it malicious. "I guess we win then," she said. At his question, she gestured behind them, "A food truck, just a bit back." She paused, so they could turn and head towards the corndogs. She nodded. If Iann thought Annie was telling the truth, Maya believed him. She had to wonder what that meant for her. Her mother had been telling the truth, meaning that right now her mom was probably catching up her dad up on all things baby girl. She didn't know how she felt about that. She didn't know how she felt about the fact that maybe they had been in a better place all this time. "Good," was all she said with a nod, "I'm glad they're all back in a better place." Maya couldn't help the shiver that went up her spine. "Sorry, still can't stand that phrase."

Iann snorted. "Where ever Annie returned, I don't know if it's better so much as known...." he muttered, as he backtracked to the food truck, to fetch himself a corndog. "But I'm sure your mom didn't enjoy being stuck in some shit-world. Just a guess."

Maya had to give him that. She only nodded though, hardly knowing Annie well enough to judge what she might've wanted. She nodded again, "Yeah, I think most places would be better than where I found her." She shrugged, "That afterlife's probably nicer than dealing with your stubborn daughter too." There was a bittersweetness to her tone that suggested she had found closure with her mom. By the end, they'd both learned to accept that they were strangers who loved each other. It was a strange thing to be, but it was a better than trying to pretend they were properly mother and daughter. "So what do we do next then?" she asked, "Eat, drink and be merry?"

Iann raised an eyebrow at Maya's self-slamming comment. Not the stubborn thing so much as saying her mom would prefer to be somewhere that didn't include or involve her daughter. He stood in line, ignoring the 'what next' for now. "C'mon. That's really what you believe? That your mom wants something 'nicer' away from you? Just how much do you hate yourself, kid?"

Maya looked up at Iann, surprised. She hadn't really been thinking about what she was saying. For a moment, she didn't say anything. She then gave him a half hearted laugh, "I don't think she'd want a life where she was following me around twenty four seven. But I mean, Iann, we were strangers. I know she loves me and if there was a way for her to stay properly, but being a ghost isn't any kind of life either." Maya was avoiding the real question. She knew that while what she said was technically true, it was all to avoid the question. Because she knew the answer. More so than usual. She hated herself more so than usual.

Iann had figured Maya could've deflected with something simple like 'it was just a joke' and a sassy roll of her eyes or something. Her answer was a different sort of deflection though, one that Iann sucked at his teeth as he tasted it, before he nodded. "I mean, I remember the way your mama only had eyes and attention for you. Complete, unflagging attention for you, nothing else mattered. Total tunnel vision and you filled up her entire lens." Iann reached up to take his corndog, paying for it and slathering a shitload of hot mustard on it. "I can't believe that she'd make you believe that any other existence would be preferable to being with you, even if she had to spend it as a ghost."

Maya shook her head and gave Iann a grapefruit kind of smile. "She didn't," she replied, "But it’s not really about what anybody who loves me says, is it? It's all that shit that's still trapped up in my head." She took a bite of her corndog before laughing. "You know, I'm not exclusively this depressing," she said referring to the fact that Iann often seemed to get her to talk about her emotions, "At least like half the time I'm totally fun."

Iann smiled then, as she gave a little laugh. "Ahhhh, I got it," he said, tapping the side of his nose and giving her a confidential wink. "Gotta love yourself before you believe that you're lovable to others," he murmured. He took a bite of his corndog then though, and made an emphatic 'umph' noise. "Oh now that's what I'm talking about. This, Maya. You want proof those hell rifts are over? These corndogs prove it," he said, waving his towards her. He continued walking again, munching on the deepfried snack. "It's my fault, I suck at small talk. And most social etiquette, honestly. It's okay though; I mean I like it better than fake smiles and plastic fun." He looked at Maya. "Unless you want fake smiles and all that?"

Maya blushed and cast her gaze momentarily downwards. "Seems to be that way," she replied. She brought her gaze back up when Iann commented that corndogs were proof enough that the hell rifts were over. She managed a laugh. "They definitely don't make corndogs this good in hell," she agreed. She waved off his claim of it being his fault. "Nah, I don't mind it. And I'm thinking it might actually be good for me. But I just want to make sure you're not going to call Social Services on me or anything," she explained, "Shit's been pretty rough lately. But I really am the happiest I can remember here. And the most healed, or whatever the actual word for that is."

"Isn't Social Services just for kids? Or...is there one for adults too?" Iann asked, bemused. "But I'm not out to get you, I promise. I won't ever be, and I'm not exactly qualified to call the feds on anyone, considering my own...everything." Iann didn't even know where he'd start, with how utterly disconnected he was to the system and the authority that Maya seemed to believe he eagerly and unquestioningly followed. "So what's gonna happen when it gets less happy? Because it will. It always does." Iann didn't even mean that in a negative way; life just had huge ups and drastic downs, always.

"It's just kids and super old people," Maya replied. But she shook her head when he mentioned not being out to get her. "I don't think you're out to get me or call whoever it is you call for adults. I just mean, you don't have to worry me, even just fleetingly," she clarified, "You might not be anyway, but I just..." She shrugged, not sure how to explain herself properly. "Wanted to make sure since I do seem to always get all deep about my emotions with you." She inhaled and then let out a long breath when he asked what she would do when things got difficult again. "I really don't know. I'm sure this is the opposite of a surprise, I've never really had healthy coping mechanisms. I mean, it kept me alive, but they weren't healthy. So I don't know what that looks like for me, but I'm going to find out. Like I said, I'm stubborn and I want to know who I'll be when I've healed from all that shit."

"Ahhh so it's for you, and for me," he said with a dry laugh when Maya said it was for kids and the elderly. He lobbed the corn dog stick into the compost bin and looked at Maya in surprise. "Kid, from the first time I met you, I could peg you as someone I should never worry about. Or be concerned about, or even think about in my spare time. Because I could tell you'd balk at the very idea. I'll take deep emotions over pretend-y anyway. It can be awkward and uncomfortable as shit, but..." Iann exhaled, scratching at his chin. "I dunno. It's real. So I'm glad you go there." When Maya talked about her coping mechanisms, Iann nodded, understanding this well. "Man...imagine if you find out one of your healthy coping mechanisms is like...I don't know...pilates. Or like...fantasy football." He grinned at Maya, nudging at her side. "You're gonna be soooo embarrassed."

Maya nodded, "It's a lot like corndogs like that." She listened as Iann explained that he didn't worry about her because he didn't think she'd want him too. Which was exactly right. "Good," she said and then with a shrug added, "And it took me about six years, but I realized you have to go there if you ever want to heal." With a self deprecating laugh, she tacked on, "Course I still can't do it some days. But today's good." She laughed, "There no way its fantasy football, not with all that math. But unfortunately for my ego I can't count out pilates."

It wasn't so much as Iann didn't think she'd want him to; it was the idea of Maya balking - to the point where she'd escalate to active, aggressive resistance, just to prove to herself that she wasn't worth anyone worrying about her. It was the sort of contradictory self-destruction that Iann had encountered before, and so he avoided it with Maya to spare her the agony of having to rejecting herself. "Today's good because you're a witch, and it's a Harvest moon on Friday the 13th," he teased. "You gonna go dance wildly in the moonlight with Faye or anything?"

Maya feigned shock. "Who told you about that? It's supposed to be a secret," she joked. "Actually I'm probably going to head home soon and see if I can't catch up on some sleep," she said.

The moment Maya mentioned sleep, it instinctively made Iann yawn like a responsive child. He reached his arms up, stretching out his back, which popped in the most gratifying way. "Oh man. Yeah. You think I should take you up on that nap you mentioned?"

Maya smiled, "I think you should always take me up on any nap I mention. Guess, I'll see you around then, yeah?"

Iann chucked one side of his teeth and winked at her. "See you around. And if you get any more foreboding warnings of doom later on, call me first, kid."

[johnnymundano]

Slasher Season 1: The Executioner (2016)

Directed by Craig David Wallace

Written by Aaron Martin

Music by Shawn Pierce

Country: Canada

Language: English

8 Episodes of around 46 – 53 minutes each

CAST

Katie McGrath as Sarah Bennett

Brandon Jay McLaren as Dylan Bennett

Steve Byers as Cam Henry

Patrick Garrow as Tom Winston

Dean McDermott as Iain Vaughn

Christopher Jacot as Robin Turner

Wendy Crewson as Brenda Merrit

Jessica Sipos as June Henry

Mary Walsh as Verna McBride

Enuka Okuma as Lisa Ann Follows

Erin Karpluk as Heather Peterson

Mayko Nguyen as Alison Sutherland

Rob Stewart as Alan Henry

Jefferson Brown as Trent McBride

Mark Ghanimé as Justin Faysal

Dylan Taylor as Bryan Ingram

Alysa King as Rachel Ingram

Victoria Snow as Sonja Edwards

Hannah Endicott-Douglas as Ariel Peterson

Shawn Ahmed as Sharma

Booth Savage as Ronald Edwards

Susannah Hoffman as Marjorie Travers

(Guilty Party: I took the images from IMDB because I can’t screengrab over 8 hours and besides, my dog told me to.)

Slasher: The Executioner is a Canadian TV series about, um, slashers and all that slasher stuff. Bogling about The Internet I discovered that the creator, one Aaron Martin by name, has wisely opted for an anthology format, whereby each season (two at present) is a complete storyline. Apparently there is connective tissue between each season  to engender a feel of them taking place in the same Slasher Universe; which is like the Marvel®©™ Universe but with less quips and more mom porn and severed hands. I say “apparently” because I haven’t seen the second season (Slasher: Guilty Party (2017)) I have seen the first season though and that definitely has more mom porn and severed hands than the Marvel®©™ Cinematic Universe.

Now, if you’re reading this thing which is about a TV show called Slasher, then you might think you like slasher movies, but do you like slasher movies enough to watch what is effectively a 7 hour and change slasher movie? Do you? Huh? Huh? That’s a normal working day right there. You are right to be hesitant, as that doesn’t sound like it would work, at least not as entertainment, maybe as a kind of torture. The usual slasher movie is a timidly formulaic creature, so we can characterise the average slasher movie as starting with a brief kill, then some flopping bonelessly about with a solid hour of “meet the characters”, then 40 minutes or so of mayhem, climaxing with a one on one slobberknocker. Stick to that formula for 8 episodes and you’d end up (NB: the maths is a bit loose here) with an exciting first episode, 5.5 episodes of dishwater dull soap-operatics and then an insanely violent final 1.5 episodes. That would of course be stupid, which is one of roughly a billion reasons why they didn’t ask me to make it. No, they asked Aaron Martin and the Slasher gods should be thankful that Aaron Martin knew what to do.

A nagging sense of fairness demands I should pause to note that hundreds of people were involved in the making of Slasher: The Executioner, but it’s accepted shorthand to say “Aaron Martin…” So, “Aaron Martin” made a long-ass slasher movie, but realising this was a marathon and not a sprint, structured each episode so that it worked within the larger narrative framework. It’s an approach familiar to anyone who read mainstream comics back when they had actual stories (rather than today’s unending conversations punctuated by punching; Calm down, Cochise, I’m not saying they were better back then (most of anything is shit after all), I’m just saying they were different). In effect then, for all the none old timey comics fans: in Slasher: The Executioner the uberplot chugs along while various subplots intertwine beneath it breeding red herrings, developing character and basically raising the stakes until uber and under finally intertwine in a climactic crescendo. Oh, and there is at least one kill every episode to keep your unhealthy interest piqued. Got to have those sweet, sweet kills. It is called Slasher after all, not Magic Picnic Time With The Dancing Rainbow Babies. Those dismissive of the slasher movie (Hi, mom!) often underestimate the variety of slasher movies; they aren’t all set in a holiday camp for randy morons on Prom Night one Halloween which is coincidentally, and impossibly, also Friday the 13th. No, there is also Cherry Falls (2000) and, oh, My Bloody Valentine (2009) and, er, anyway, probably some others. This type being The Small Town Terrorised by Its Past slasher, as it is more commonly known. This is the template which Slasher: The Executioner favours most. (The Internet Elves tell me Slasher: Guilty Party riffs on The Holiday Death Camp template).

Events kick off with the present day return of pleasant, newlywed young artist Sarah Bennett (née Ingram) to Waterbury, where she was born on Halloween night in 1988, when a masked killer cut her from the womb of her mother, Rachel. Rachel’s husband, Bryan, had died about ten seconds earlier from a frenzied knife-torso interaction, leaving nobody to hand out candy to the trick or treaters except the killer, The Executioner, who docilely awaited the police cradling the bloody new-born in his arms. It’s fair to say Sarah has issues with Waterbury, and as her arrival coincides with  the start of a spate of copycat Executioner killings, Waterbury has issues with Sarah. And it’s this business that occupies your eyes and ears for the bulk of the 8 episodes. I mean, that was some spoilertastic stuff back there, yeah? But get this…that was only the opening 10 minutes; there’s plenty of unspoiled stuff and, hey, maybe those first 10 minutes I just got spoil all over aren’t all as they initially appear? That is a distinct possibility. Yes it is.

What then unfolds over the televisually paced course of Slasher: The Executioner’s 8 episodes is slashtastically fun stuff. Pretty much everything you expect in a slasher movie happens, because that predictability is part of the fun of a slasher movie. Crucially, however, some stuff you don’t expect to happen in a slasher movie also happens, which is part of the fun of a good slasher movie. A good slasher movie has to both cater to and exceed expectations, and Slasher: the Executioner is a pretty good slasher movie despite its arse-numbing running time.  But then only a glutton would gulp it down one go; Slasher: The Executioner is most rewarding when taken episodically; which is kind of why they made it like that, I guess. With a gap between each episode you can ruminate and ratiocinate in an attempt to understand the motivations, unearth the clues and unmask the killer. Although, good luck with that; the identity of the killer may be easy to guess (it’s [Redacted]!) but it’s a lot less easy to back it up with clues and evidence. It’s more a case of “It’s [Redacted]” because it has to be, rather than you have been perceptive enough to amass an evidence trail suitable for a Court of Law. But then slasher maniacs rarely see the inside of a Court of Law, so going with your gut is okay in this context.

The cast though? I mean, you’re going to be spending a lot of time with these people and given the nature of the beast some of them are going to have to surprise you with who they really turn out to be. Happily, everyone in Slasher: The Executioner is far better at this acting lark than the usual cast of a slasher movie. It probably helps that unlike most slasher movies the cast is portraying adults rather than the more usual teenagers. Feeelingzzzz aside, adult life is a lot more complex than teenage life, so there’s a lot more scope for surprise behaviour wise. And adults by definition have lived longer than teenagers so they have an actual past which could, maybe, be full of misdeeds and tragedy. That kind of thing would be pretty helpful were you trying to fill about 8 hours of screentime, yeah? Yeah, it totally would. As Sarah, Katie McGrath is maybe a bit of a milksop but this, to be fair, pays off later with a major change in attitude, and also in her defence she is mostly on the backfoot as surprises and violence tend to single her out. And she certainly rallies herself with an impressively sad ferocity come the bloody climax. Brandon Jay McLaren as her life partner convinces as a man too nice to be true, but who just might come through. The killer is great and clearly having a fun time, but their performance becomes a real humdinger once the reveal hits and the pretence can be dropped (in front of the viewer at least). Lots of actors, lots of performances and all of them are lots of fun. Some are more fun than others, but saying more would splash spoil all over the place. In a town this big there might be more than one mystery, is all i’m saying.

Slasher: The Executioner is overwrought, it’s daft, it’s violent, it’s rarely dull and it successfully stretches your suspension of disbelief like so much Silly Putty. Pretty much a dreamy slasher experience all in all. Of course many a long form TV show comes a cropper when it has to deliver a definite ending. But rest easy, the end of Slasher: The Executioner doesn’t reveal everyone is dead, and, no, it wasn’t all a dream. The stakes are high ending wise; after nearly 8 hours Slasher needed to deliver a faceslap of an ending, and while the mechanics of what happen are hardly brain meltingly original, the psychological darkness of it was a bleak delight. In short the ending to Slasher: The Executioner is a TV win: it doesn’t make you wish you hadn’t bothered. As long as you came expecting a slasher, that is. The clue’s in the title after all.

[so-not-starks-kid-37]

I will survive for you

Three years ago

"A make a wish?" Tony questions.

"Yes Tony. This kid has been in the hospital since his 11th birthday and today is his 13th. At first the doctors were thinking it was a high metabolism from the weight loss but then they found that the kid had Hodgkin lymphoma. He was starting to show improvements but when his uncle died a few months ago he got steadily worse like he just stopped fighting. The doctors say he doesn't have long and the only thing he wants is for Iron Man and The Avengers to come for a visit." Pepper says softly.

Tony sat back in thought. "Tell me more about this kid."

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"Soooo? Yay or nay?" Tony asks the group.

"Yay! I wish to meet the boy who wishes to meet us! Let us not make haste!" Thor booms as he rushes for the elevator doors.

"Hey! Thor! Bud you don't know where you're going!" Tony yells as Steve stands.

".......coming back!"

Tony chuckles as Clint, Natasha and Bruce stand as well. "We're in. But uh....do you think I can stay me? I don't want Hulk to scare the kid." Bruce says.

Tony nods and pushes a button on his watch. "No problem. I actually think he'd wanna meet Banner more anyway. Apparently the kid is a genius and he's been a big fan of yours since he was five." Tony says.

Bruce looked surprised but still smiled as he rushes to put his shoes on.

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"Hi. We're here to see a Peter Parker?" Tony says to the front desk.

Bruce looks around and frowns. The place looked like it didn't have a lot of funding if the flickering lights and chipping pain were anything to go by. "He's upstairs in the childrens wing. It's the one with the Avengers symbol sticker on the door." The receptionist says with a smile.

Walking to the elevator Tony uses his boots to make sure he could go up with the team. Steve pushed the button with the sticker on it and in a matter of seconds they piled out onto a pastel and vibrant colored floor with childrens hand prints on the walls. Walking towards a door with the big A sticker the team walk in to see a small, pale boy in winter clothes laying in bed.

Slowly walking in the team watched Clint and Natasha walk over and gently coax the boy awake with whispered words and kisses to his forehead and cheeks. Peter opened his dull brown eyes that instantly brightened when he saw the hero team in his room. Gasping in shock he struggled to sit up and reach for the heroes with shaky hands.

Smiling the team move closer and gently holds his hands. After a little while and some science talk the team decided to address the elephant in the room. "So you know Natasha and Clint huh?" Steve asks softly.

Peter nods. "They were....friends of....mom 'nd dad." He replies softly.

Natasha and Clint nod along but gently makes him stop. "No more talking baby bug. You need to keep up your strength." Clint says softly.

Peter nods sleepily. "Come on guys. I think we've worn him out." Steve says gently.

"Wait! I got something for the kid." Tony says as he steps out of his suit. Pulling a necklace out of his pocket Tony showed it to the boy. "This is for you. This means you are an honorary Avenger now and forever."

Peters eyes brightened up again and reached for the necklace. Tony gently puts his hands down and puts the necklace on Peter. "Keep this with you ok buddy? As long as you have this you will always be one of us and we will always be there for you." Tony says softly as he wiped the boys tears away.

"Thank you...Mr. Stark." Peter wheezes out.

Three years later

Tony hummed as he walked into the hospital. He was here for a very special reason. Today was Peters birthday and the anniversary of the day he started to show signs of his body fighting the cancer again. After the first visit something told him to keep coming back....so he did. He went to visit the boy everyday and if he couldn't he'd at least FaceTime him.

Looking around he smiled at the improvements around the place. When he found out that the hospital was low on funds he made a donation to get it fixed up and to help pay for better equipment and medicine. Hopping onto the elevator he pats the box he was holding proudly. He had talked to May, Peters hot aunt, Natasha and Clint to figure out what to get him and he hoped the boy would like it.

Once the elevator stopped he rushed straight for Peters room and opened the door but nobody was there. The bed was empty and the machines were gone. Panicking Tony rushed for the nurses station but stopped when he saw a familiar head peeking around the corner. Frowning he walks over and sees Peter standing next to a bell on the wall and wearing a black beanie, pastel pink sweater, blue overalls and purple vans.

There were excited nurses, a ugly crying Clint, a tearful Natasha who was recording Peter and a happy May. Peter reached up for the bells little dangly thing and Tony instantly knew. Peter had beaten it.

Tony watched Peter ring the bell before practically tackling the poor kid with happy tears in his eyes.

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Tony watched Peter happily eat his first non-hospital meal with The Avengers, Bucky, Wanda, Sam, Scott and May clap happily. They were having a little party for the boy and from the look of it Peter was having a great time. "Oh! Kid! I almost forgot!" Tony says quickly as he picks up the sky blue box. "Open it before it pees."

Peter stands and opens the box to see a little white kitten looking up at him. Gasping he gently picks it up holds it like a itty bitty baby. Cooing to the creature Peter gently pets its little belly. "I love him! What's his name?" Peter asks softly.

"Whatever you want. He's yours Pete." Tony says softly.

"Ummm....Cloud! Because he's cute, soft and white like a cloud!" Peter says happily.

The group around them smiles as Peter cuddles the kitten. "Hey kid. Steve told me that you started to get better after their visit. That true?" Bucky asks.

Peter turns to him and smiles brightly. "Mhm! I can't really explain it but after meeting everybody I guess my body just started to get better." Peter says but he leaves something unsaid.

"I survived for you."

[alexsmuarchive]

THIS IS IT.

TAGGING: Alexander, Jefferson and Mary-Anne Montgomery. Mentions of: Jamie Montgomery, Autumn Rose. Small mentions of: Regan St. James, Victoria Vanderbilt. 

LOCATION: Mountain Brook, Alabama. 

TIME FRAME: Tuesday, February 12th; around noon.

SUMMARY: Alexander goes to Alabama to have a talk with his father. 

WARNINGS: A general warning of Jefferson’s conservative views, tbh. Also, mentions of abortion/rape/domestic violence. 

WORD COUNT: 1610 words. 

Chicago Cubs pitchers and catchers were meant to report to camp February 13th and though Alexander was meant to travel to Arizona late Tuesday night with some of his teammates, he changed his plans at the last moment and instead, traveled to Alabama for the first time since leaving for college. Alabama held bad memories of a terrible childhood and neglectful parents, so when he got the chance to leave, he took it and never looked back. There was a reason why all of his friends - especially Autumn and Regan had never been and would never be in his childhood home. Even when he wanted to see Jamie, he made sure to pay for her flight to Chicago instead of him going back to Alabama and having to deal with his parents. But now, he deemed it necessary. It was a conversation that was long overdue and one that would put an end on whatever hold Jefferson Montgomery had on him. 

Ever since Jamie had left for college, the Montgomery’s had moved to a bigger, better house. Of course, the Montgomery’s and the Vanderbilt’s of Alabama wanted to show off their wealth instead of focusing on values that actually mattered. Neither he nor Jamie nor Victoria had come out unscathed after growing up in such a lifestyle and whoever got angry that the rich complained about their problems, didn’t know that money couldn’t actually buy happiness. 

The new gatekeeper didn’t know him, which should’ve been a clear indication that being there was a mistake and that he was doing things based on impulse and anger. "Alexander Montgomery” he said calmly, though feelings were already building up, “their son. I know he’s not in DC right now, but he will be by the end of the week. I need to talk to him.” He wasn’t angry at the gatekeeper’s incompetence, he was just doing his job, but he was irritated by the fact that he had to explain himself. After a few minutes of clearing up the confusion, he was finally allowed inside and Alexander couldn’t help but scoff at the delusion of grandeur the mansion exuded. Antiques and paintings that neither Jefferson nor Mary-Anne really cared about decorated the house, the marble floors shining brightly, taxidermy throughout the high ceilings. It was everything he hated. 

“Is father home?” Alexander asked his mother in lieu of a greeting, ignoring her surprise and her fake smile at seeing him for the first time in years. Mary-Anne barely did a thing, she was a trophy wife who agreed with her husband and that made her just as bad as Jefferson was. “I need to speak with him.” Though Mary-Anne exclaimed she was happy to see him and asked if he wanted something to eat, Alexander ignored her until she said he was in his study and led him there. 

The office was more of the same except there, Jefferson showed off family pictures as if he actually cared about family and not just himself. Jefferson’s desk was adorned with pictures of the four of them, and he couldn’t help but scoff yet again at how fake it all seemed. They weren’t a happy family. They never had been. The only good thing Jefferson Montgomery ever did for Alexander was cheat on his wife --- Alexander got a sibling and someone who he could actually talk to about everything. Though, that was just him being selfish. Jamie didn’t deserve to have a father like him. 

Jefferson, as Mary-Anne had done, acted as if he was glad to see him and when he sat up to greet him with a hug, Alexander took a step back and shook his head. There was no way he was going to hug someone like him after everything he’d done. Not after he ruined his life. 

“Do you remember...” Alexander trailed off, sucking a breath between his teeth as he took a moment to gather himself, “do you remember when I came to you, as my father, so you could help me get Autumn out of the situation she was in? And you so kindly gave me half a million dollars to get him away from her, but blackmailed me into also staying away from her? Do you remember that, father? You should. That was the last time we had a conversation, if I remember correctly.” 

Alexander started pacing, noticing Jefferson’s posture stiffen and his lips pursed into a fine line. “Do you know what happened after, father? When I went to Detroit and Autumn stayed in Chicago? You know... a funny little thing happened because Xavier somehow found out about our little deal and made things worse for her. He forced into marrying him, he beat her, raped her, and she ended up having a little girl with him. She finally decided to leave him though, but not after six years of that. Six years.” Alexander paused, shaking his head and trying to hold back tears. “Meanwhile I was miserable too. I was married to Sam, but I didn’t love her. When she was gone, I felt free. Do you know how much of an asshole someone has to be to feel free and liberated when someone dies? I guess I got that from you, though.” 

When Jefferson tried to interrupt Alexander, he took a step forward and warned him with a look. This was something that he needed to get off his chest and, frankly, he didn’t really care what Jefferson had to say --- he just needed for him to listen. “I have been beatin’ myself up over this since I found out. I’ve been tellin’ myself that it was my fault that Autumn went through so much. But I was wrong. You did this. You ruined my life and you ruined Autumn’s life. It was your deal that kept me away from her.” He furiously wiped a tear from his eyes with the back of his hand before continuing. “She was pregnant when I left, by the way. The baby was mine, father. But I was gone and she had to terminate it... and I know you ain’t gonna care about her feelings and are just gonna say that she’s a sinner and a killer because of your bullshit religious beliefs --- by the way, did you think about that when you were fuckin’ another woman that wasn’t your wife, father? Were you thinking about those religious beliefs when you had a child with someone else?” He smirked, glad to have gotten that out of the way after so many years. “Anyway, father, if Xavier had found out that she was pregnant... he would’ve killed her. All because you couldn���t fuckin’ stand me being in love with someone who didn’t have money. You... you and the Vanderbilt’s always hated that Victoria and I fell in love with people you deemed as less than us. You, mother, Charles and Eleanor couldn’t bare the thought of us loving decent people, huh?” 

Alexander shouldn’t have come and he knew it. He probably wouldn’t get through to Jefferson, not that it really mattered by this point. Jefferson and Alexander had never seen eye to eye when it came to Autumn in general, Regan’s sexuality — God, he’d even tried to get her to ‘pray the gay away’ at one point, not even allowing himself to actually voice the word gay — and Jamie’s tendency to be... free. Jefferson was set in his ways and no one, not even his own son, would be able to change his mind. 

“Now I’m in Chicago again and Autumn and I are working through things. It’s gonna be hard. It’s gonna take time for us to even get a little bit of what we lost because of you, but we’re gonna try.” His usually stoic expression when it came to his father was nowhere to be found, and he knew Jefferson could see every emotion on his tired face --- anger, disappointment, hate and a little bit of hope for the future. “Autumn’s gonna divorce that piece of shit and I’m gonna help her. And... I’m gonna do one more thing for you and then that’s gonna be it. You ain’t gonna be my father anymore and you ain’t gonna try and talk to Jamie, either. You ain’t gonna come to Chicago to grovel. You’re gonna leave us alone for good. You got it?” Alexander didn’t wait for Jefferson to agree; he was done with him. This would be it. 

“I know you care about your standing as a Senator more than you ever cared about us. So, when I gotta talk about payin’ Xavier off, I’ll tell them that the money was mine and that you only wired money from my inheritance. It was grandfather’s money that he’d left for me when he passed. I mean, it ain’t much of a lie, is it? That was probably the money that you used for this.” He wrung his hands a few times, easing the tension he felt building up. “No one’s gonna know you paid anyone off. Don’t worry, father, your reputation will be intact.” 

Alexander let out a deep breath, looking at the man before him and smiling sadly. Fate had handed him a shitty card. “After this... when I leave today... I’m done with you. I don’t need your money, I have my own. Jamie doesn’t need your money, she has me. You can keep grandfather’s money for yourself because I don’t need it and I don’t need you.” He knew he only had to say one more thing and Jefferson would know that he was serious. “The next time I get married, I’m going to take my wife’s last name. I don’t want to be a Montgomery anymore and I won’t let her be one, either. We’re done... Jefferson.” 

[whoslaurapalmer]

penultimate. peril.

penultimate peril is my absolute favorite in the series and these episodes somehow simultaneously lived up to and didn’t even meet my expectations 

-the “welcome little baby” line!!!! but isn’t that actually from the end? -OH GOD -THERE HE IS -LEMONY -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA -no brunch. no distraught kit. no brunch.  -compared to in previous eps, klaus being the pro-vfd one, now violet is! “of course we will!” UGGGG -STILL NOT DISTRAUGHT -olaf has more pressing problems in his life and better things to do than trying to prove something to the man and the woman  -”e is for ernest who is evil” WHOA THERE -I THOUGHT SHE WAS JUST GONNA SAY ENEMY -EVIL  -no brunch. no baby room wallpaper line. no distraught kit. -i’m sorry but i just can’t get behind bertrand being the one with glasses. bea had glasses and she hated wearing them and rarely wore them. -no “your father got that same look on his face whenever he was thinking” none of that, huh. -OH!!!! THERE WE GO!!!! THE SHORTEST MENTION OF BEING DISTRAUGHT AND PREGNANT EVER!!!!!!!!!  -young!!!!! lemon!!!!!!!! -dewey saying a line that was absolutely from lemony’s letter to bea and saying it to kit is, weird. -oh so they’re. playing it like that’s ernest. like kit’s with ernest. mmmmmmmm. cause someone who hasn’t read the books wouldn’t know about dewey yet. mmmmmmm. really. i see. -WHAT IS THIS TIMELINE -WHAT THE HELL -lemon. -hey. where are their. you know. sunglasses. -oh i love the triplets walking behind the desk, that was STELLAR AND I LOVED IT -tv was made to portray the three different chapters of violet and klaus and sunny’s different adventures in the hotel. like, it’s worth it just to be able to see them play out like this cause they STILL play out like they did in the books, one at a time, and it!!!! it’s so good!!!!!! IT WAS SO GOOD -i was so disappointed to not see hal, though. i really wanted to see hal. i was actually. excited for that..... -oh so now nero has replaced geraldine. -changing so much of the......background mystery of the show and seeing it play out just made me feel like the JS mystery didn’t fit in the show now -- especially because in the books, even justice strauss doesn’t know, right????? but as revealed later on, they were all?????? working together???????? it just doesn’t sit right with me  -THE WRONGS. WERE BEAUTIFUL. OH MY GOD. -that was. the best thing in the world. god it was so good. it sounded. forgive me. so right.  -babs.........and jerome...................... -jerome!!!!! and charles????????? okay!!!!!! i could dig it if it wasn’t another throwaway line about vague distant background representation that we never see -same with babs and mrs bass -LARRY -I FUCKING SCREAMED WHEN LARRY SHOWED UP OH MY GOD i thought they’d just cut him right out too. -OLAF AS JACQUES I’M FUCKING DYING that was hilarious. so good. oh my god. the eyebrow. -yay. creepy olaf. is olaf.  -fortunes? not finance? -mr poe just changed personality but somehow still stayed exactly the same. what the hell. -lasso reveal -- YIPPIE  -YIPPIE KI YAY -yippie. ki, yay.  -re: larry -- it’s more fun to hear about the absurd moments in the series, including the absurd deaths, because then they’re amusing but we don’t see them and it makes up the fabric of the story and can still be serious, but seeing larry get boiled in a giant vat of curry, like, seeing it happen, was........well..............mmmm. it took that away. seeing it made it feel more weird dark spy than weird absurd spy. i don’t know what i’m going for here. made sense when i wrote it on my phone during the ep. makes less sense now trying to type it after.  -but i stand by whatever the hell i just said there -elephant!!!! i got my elephant story reference!!!!! i got it!!!!! oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was there!!!!!!  -actual justice strauss!!!! i legit thought they would cut her out. -but her presence, after watching larry and jacquelyn and jacques and olivia, has none of the meaning it had before in the book, seeing her show up out of nowhere and hearing her talk about following them. because we’ve seen other adults follow them now. -okay, look, the thing is, there’s no way lemony doesn’t know who those kids are. -also, side note, you think kit played by allison williams looks old enough to be having her fourth child, lemony?????? -i guess it depends on how you want to view the timeline, and there are people who view lemony as having worked on the series for years, and babybea finding him before the 13th book came out, because the beatrice letters was released before it, and in-universe it would take time to put all this together and take the same length of time as the real-life publishing of the books, but  -at the same time there are enough hints in the story that also place lemony, by slippery slope, close to where the baudelaires are in their story. at least that’s the way i prefer to see it. so this????? i’m not having any of this  -i don’t like the triumphant music when dewey talks. he should be a lot more harried than this  -OH THEY’LL LEAVE VFD TO RAISE BABYBEA BUT LEAVE THE LIBRARY IN THE HANDS OF THREE SMALL CHILDREN  -”is a safe life really enough” hey fuck you -where’s dewey’s soft and kind “noble enough” line. where is that. fuck you for taking that away from me. -BEATRICE STOLE IT FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE -why. did you change olaf saying “what choice do i have” to “what else do i know how to do” 

-OPERA -oh my god esme and kit and LEMONY AND OLAF -that typewriter.............oh my child  -so. olaf’s parents or at least his father. not being presented as firestarters.  -WIFE DIED IN A FIRE -I’M SORRY, WIFE DIED IN A FIRE????? -this isn’t even what the taxi driver said anyway. -god life made so much more sense when lemony was not the taxi driver and he was just a mysterious figure i hate this  -walking away from lemony did break my heart but i also didn’t like any of this scene at all so. who knows what i’m feeling today, cats  -olaf. in the closet. not the kids. mkay. -not to be such a book stickler but...........man...................................... -blind justice!!! -PURPLE DRESS -PURPLE HELQUIST DRESS -no.......blind.......justice?????? just????? at the end???????  -i’m actually gonna cry during the kids’ court speech oh no my babies  -THEY CALL OLAF TO THE STAND?????????????????????????  -i know it’s probably just because she calls everyone darling but man young!esme is just fucking in love with everyone isn’t she  -straight up thought she was on a date with kit before olaf was in the scene in the first opera flashback, honestly  -it completes her tea set. -i mean it’s a shallow enough reason for esme but also esme is. more than a shallow person like i don’t care for her much but i know that i think she’d have a better reason than ‘it completes my tea set’  -THEY JUST WALK OFF WITH IT. JUST LIKE THAT. -no big deal but lemony mentions somewhere in the series (slippery slope?) that it was actually kit’s idea to use the sugar bowl as a container.  -”We’re all friends here” WHY WOULD KIT SNICKET EVER SAY THAT  -it looks. it really looks like they framed the murder of olaf’s father. as an accident. and i don’t like that. i don’t like that at all. i hate it with every fiber of my being.  -also the schism happened before that incident but whatever.  -ALSO. I’VE SAID IT BEFORE. I’LL SAY IT AGAIN. NOWHERE IS IT EVER IMPLIED THAT THE DEATH OF OLAF’S PARENTS AND THE THEFT OF THE SUGAR BOWL HAPPEN ON THE SAME NIGHT AND I HATE THAT THEY PLACED THEM ON THE SAME NIGHT I HATE THAT TOO -pepper. -it was pepper.  -once again. “burn down hotel” was also a moment. that needed to be slowed down.  -this season is actually lacking a good deal of the lemony narration that would have slowed down certain scenes in a good way  -lemony wasn’t even holding a dart. why do they think lemony killed olaf’s father???????  -okay i actually went back and rewatched that and he WAS holding a dart. -i’m not gonna get into my perception of lemony post-atwq and how he feels about murder after that, okay, i’m not, i don’t have the energy  -but fuck you for having him hold a poison dart  -so no break up letter. not at all. he just. says those words to her. that’s all.  -and you know why that pisses me off? because it takes away the real reasons behind lemony and bea’s breakup. it takes away lemony’s cowardice and bea’s impulsiveness and the arson accusations and going on the lam and all the implied everything about it and the fact that it’s vfd and the ideals and what they’ve been forced to do and be that breaks them up and reduces it to.........this. ten seconds. that’s what their relationship is.  -so no, i did not like the weird......timeline travel montage with the photographs and the background song...........the only thing i felt was ‘are you guys serious about doing this.’ 

[eledritch]

Since you mentioned that Altea Creek slowly becomes a ghost town in one ask, which buildings are still standing for tourists and ghost hunters to snoop around in? Are there any urban legends like how people can hear the sounds of horses racing in the night, how a woman with white hair appears in the windows of the old brothel, or how people who get lost in the desert find a shack surrounded by corn stalks to stay in for the night, only to wake up in the old sherrif's office come morning?

ok fine i admit it i love the btsats universe...please send me more fun prompts for it!

ARIZONA; AUGUST 13th, 2017

She’s heard the tales they tell about this place. 

She never put any stock in them, of course - at nineteen, she’s way too old to believe in old wives’ tales anymore. Her grandma Dolores, who married some cowboy up in Page after her grandpa died five years ago, always has some new yarn to spin at family reunions in Sedona. She thinks the sun is probably getting to Dolores’s husband’s head when he tells her about the huge wildcat prowling the outer reaches of his ranch at sunrise, followed by a young man on a red horse. Makes no damn sense, and that’s not even the craziest of it. 

They say this town is haunted by a woman with long white hair and piercing blue eyes, by a herd of phantom mustangs no one can ever catch but a few swear they’ve seen, by a huge creature with horns and yellow eyes, and, perhaps strangest of all if only because of its comparative normalcy, by a lean boy with shaggy black hair, or sometimes white hair; no one can seem to agree.

Altea Creek, the town was called, or at least that’s what the faded wooden sign says. It’s not even big enough to warrant an actual road sign, one of those green highway signs with blocky white letters, and that makes her real nervous. It means this place is really and truly in the middle of nowhere, and therefore she is in the middle of nowhere, and it’s in the middle of desert nowhere, which makes it even worse. At least when people go missing in forests and mountains and swamps and things, people go looking for them. But she’s never heard of people braving the Sonoran to find a teenage girl who was left behind at a midnight bonfire that was supposed to be fun. 

It was fun, she thinks sullenly, at least until she’d woken up hungover to the rising sun and all her so-called friends gone. Serves her right, for thinking Arizona State frat bros and sorority girls would actually look out for a scrawny NAU freshman. Then again, her NAU sisters had been there, too...ugh. Sororities are dumb, anyway. Sisters definitely aren’t supposed to accidentally leave each other passed out in the stupid cave Josh Whats-His-Face had declared was, Like, Totally The Perfect Hookup Place, C’mon, It’ll Be Sooooo Fun Oh My God Lighten Up, Will You?

“Fuck you, Josh,” she says to a passing tumbleweed, and then feels bad, because tumbleweeds are really pathetic-looking as it is; they don’t need her harsh words, too. 

She stops walking. She really doesn’t want to go into that creepy little ghost town. But she also doesn’t want to get heat stroke and die. Ghosts, or horrible agonizing death? Tough choice. 

Dolores and her husband have so many weird stories about this area, though. It doesn’t just stop at wildcats. Apparently random cornstalks just...grow out here, sometimes. And, well, she doesn’t know much about corn, but she does know that it’s dry as shit out here, and not much more ever grows except cacti and weird stunted trees. So corn seems pretty unlikely. But Dolores swears there’s corn. And also, rabbits. Like, tons of rabbits. Rabbits with glowing eyes. Who look at you like they know you.

Grandma Dolores is clearly off her rocker.

She resolutely does not think about the darker stories - the stories of mangled bodies showing up beside the highway, and sure, maybe they had all been probable child molesters with a plethora of witnesses testifying against them, but she still doesn’t love the idea of a violent vigilante roaming the desert with intent to kill. 

Nervously, she tugs her shirt closer, not that it does much good - it’s August, and she’s only got her short shorts and a faded Stranger Things tanktop. She can feel her shoulders getting crispy already. How long has she been wandering out here? A hour, two? The sun looks way higher in the sky than it was before. Yet the town seems no closer...it shimmers in the distance, just out of reach. Mirage, she thinks, hazily. But she was so sure it was right in front of her...

She wracks her brain for what to do. Her dad gave her a bunch of weird survival books, back in the day, despite the fact that they lived in the middle of Phoenix and she wasn’t exactly in danger of getting lost in the desert. But oh, how the tables have turned. 

Prickly pears...she thinks they have water in them, or maybe that’s barrel cacti. Or maybe she’s completely fucked. All she knows is that her throat has never been this dry, and her lips are so chapped they’re bleeding when she bites at them, and she’s suddenly terrified. She doesn’t want to die out here, all alone where no one will ever find her. She feels tears prickle at her eyes and blinks them back hastily - she has to conserve water, she can’t cry, even if it’s saltwater, how the hell does that work, anyway -

There’s a black cat standing in front of her.

She blinks down at it stupidly. “Hi,” she croaks. The cat is fluffy, with a white splotch on its head and a ouchie looking scar over its muzzle. It’s missing its front right paw, and she scrunches up her face in sympathy. “Guess you’re having a rough time out here too, huh?”

The cat meows and winds around her ankles, rubbing its head against her bare calf and staring up with wide grayish eyes. She smiles tiredly and kneels down to pet it, and as she kneels she’s struck with the awful realization that now she and this cat are going to die out here, and she can’t even do anything to help!

She bursts into tears and the cat looks distinctly alarmed as she hiccups out between sobs, “I’m so - I’m so sorry, kitty, you’re...you should go run off somewhere else, ‘kay, find someone with water who can take care of you ‘cause I, I can’t, I can’t watch you die, too -!”

She’s falling onto the ground; her head is swimming and she’s feverish, shaking as a firm hand presses to her brow and a shadow falls over her. The cat paws gently at her cheek and gives her sweaty, clammy skin a soft lick. “Heat exhaustion,” a woman’s voice says, floating through the air like a blessedly cool breeze. “She’s very dehydrated; another two hours and she’d be gone.”

Another voice, this one deeper, male; she feels it as if from the earth. “Hmph. City girl, huh?”

She doesn’t understand when a third, even deeper voice joins them, this one coming from the cat, which is staring sternly upward at the man she can’t see. “Keith, don’t be rude, she got lost and panicked. She’s young and afraid; can’t be much older than you were.”

The second voice makes a thoughtful sound. “I know. But look, she’s burnt bad. Allura, you still have that aloe?”

“Of course.” The cool hand on her brow sweeps back her hair; the woman’s touch is comforting, like a lullaby; it reminds her terribly of her mother. “Come now, let’s get her inside.”

She has no strength left in her body when they lift her up - the woman is carrying her, and when she looks up blearily she sees long white hair and piercing blue eyes, though there is no malice in the woman’s steady gaze. The cat is curled up warm and soft atop her chest, in her limply folded arms, and purrs when she pets it clumsily. “Good kitty,” she mumbles, and the second voice, Keith, chuckles. 

“Fishing for compliments, I see,” Keith says.

“She likes cats,” the cat replies primly. “And I like being petted. It all works out nicely.”

She passes out.

*

When she awakes, she is in an unfamiliar little house, in a cozy bed, and there is a lean boy with shaggy black hair polishing a knife at the kitchen table. She sits up, confused, and he turns to look at her, calm and quizzical. 

“Hello,” he says. “Sleep well?”

“Where am I?” she says. 

“Safe,” he says, and for some reason, she absolutely believes him.

He puts down the knife. It is a strange knife, she thinks, shiny and black. Obsidian? “I like your knife,” she blurts, and flushes when he shoots her a small, lopsided smile. 

“Thank you,” he says. “It was a gift.” He tilts his head. “What do you remember?”

She tells him about her friends leaving her. He frowns, and tells her to get new friends. She agrees. She cannot stop looking at him. There is something...other, about this boy. He is serene, radiant in a way she cannot quite describe, and she has never felt so at peace in her life. 

Then she says, “And there was a cat.” She furrows her brow. “At least, I think there was a cat...”

“Oh, yes,” the boy says, and nods to the fluffy black heap at the end of the bed. The cat is sleeping soundly, and rolls happily onto its back when she reaches out and scratches its little chin. The boy grins, oddly amused by the exchange. “He likes you.”

“What’s his name?” she asks, enchanted. The cat sneezes and blinks sleepily up at her. 

The boy hesitates, then says, “Shiro. His name is Shiro.”

“Shirooo,” she coos, and is disappointed when the cat butts its head against her palm once before hopping off the bed, padding off into the house and around the corner. “Oh. There he goes.”

“You ought to go, too,” the boy says, standing up and offering her a hand. She takes it; his hand is warm and calloused, with a faint white scar across his palm as he lets go. “I’ll take you back home.”

“Home?” she says, and shakes her head. “I don’t live around here.”

“But you live in this desert, don’t you?” he asks. She nods slowly, and he smiles. “It’s our desert,” he tells her, quietly, like a secret. “We can take you home.”

“Do you need an address?” she asks, although deep down she knows he doesn’t.

Sure enough, he shakes his head, and touches her face, carefully, the barest brush of fingertips. 

“Goodbye, Katie,” he says, and in the blink of an eye the boy is gone, and she is standing in her childhood bedroom, breathless and believing.

“Goodbye,” she whispers, but she knows they will never really leave.

[zerowiter]

Who am I? What am I? Where am I?

Tick-tick

Tick-tick

Tick-tick

Tick-tick

Tick-tick. Tick-tick. Tick...tick. Tick...Tick. Tick...Tick. Tick.......Tick. Tick.......Tick.

Tic-BANG

The Hellhound wakes up in a line all leading to a giant gate leading to a checkpoint. A line where he's one behind to the person on the checkpoint.

He looks up to see a mirror and a sign that says "Welcome to Hell." He sees his face, the only thing about it is, he doesn't know who he is with this face. Strangely, he can't remember his own name.

Hellhound: Who am I?

Demon: Hey, biggest question for us all pal. Now, shut up and get ready, it's your turn next.

The hellhound wanted to turn around, but saw that the person in front of him got into the gates. The person was behind a desk and some bars, it would appear to be to protect the person behind the desk. The demon was a female imp, wearing glasses on her face, clearly close to being tired. She must've been through long hours of the day to go through so many sinners in the line.

Demon receptionist: Hello sir, would you like to know why you are in hell?

Hellhound: Um...yes please, along with who I am.

DR: "Please"? Been a long time since I heard that word.

She types on a keyboard and looks at the screen.

DR: Huh, now that's odd.

Hellhound: What is it?

DR: It only has your sin, height, age, weight, and time of death. But no name or history.

Hellhound: Oh. What is my sin?

DR: Greed, anything else?

Hellhound: My age and time of death?

DR: Age 19, died on the 11th of December. Hmm, very odd.

Hellhound: How so?

DR: This is Feb 13th, how is it that you missed the extermination day?

Hellhound: Extermination day?

The demons behind him begin to stir up some noise for being halted. The hellhound took notice as he turned around.

Hellhound: Could you let me in? I don't want to hold up the line any longer.

DR: Hm, show that kind of emotion here, this place will chew you up the next day.

The door opens up.

Hellhound: I'll umm, keep that in mind. Thank you, miss.

She nodded as he entered hell.

"Okay, so let's think this over. My sin is greed, I'm 19 years old, and I died December 11th. But, no memory beyond that." He thinks as he walks. He sees the Imps, hellhounds, and demons alike as he walks by in the city. He walks through the social areas of malls, clothing stores, and apartments.

"Why can't I remember anything?" he thought. "What could've happened to me?" He finds a spot where he can think, by the time he begins to look at himself more clearly at a broken mirror in an alleyway. His fur black as if it was night or darkness itself, his eyes; yellow-green, different to many other hellhounds he has seen, whose eyes are all red. The clothing he wears is that of an overcoat that has seen better days, a coat within red close to that of a flower. His pants would lead that of a drifter, ragged with some patches on it.

"Well, greed would seem to hit on why it's my sin." He thought as he felt disappointed with his sigh. He then checks his pocket as he leaves the alley, but he bumps into the demon.

Demon: HEY! WATCH IT!

Hellhound: S-sorry.

The demon went on his way as the hellhound went on his way. But he then stops to notice something he felt in his hand, a wallet. He checked his pockets to think it was his but, it was the demon he bumped into. Shocked at what he's done, he was more shocked on how he did it. He didn't realize he even got the wallet till he felt it seconds later.

He thought of returning.

Demon: From afar Hey asshole!

Too late.

The hellhound runs away, the demon gives chase. The hellhound had a few steps ahead of the demon, but he did not give up on chasing him all through the city. All the hellhound could think of is; "Crap Crap Crap Crap Crap" over and over again.

From the ally way to sidewalks, to an alley way again. The hellhound had built enough speed to run up a wall, to climb away from the demon's reach to catch him. The demon tries to reach him again, but the hellhound jumps to another wall. He jumps back, wall to wall, up unto the roof. 

When he reached the top, his heart was pounding like a drummer in a band. He breathed heavily at times, by then, instinctively, he pulled the money out and dropped the wallet to the ally he was in.

Hellhound: Sorry! I-I have no idea how tha-

Demon: When I get my hands on you, I'm sure to know what to do, you little shit!

"O~kay, time to move on." He thought as he ran across the rooftops of the different buildings. Upon the third building he reaches, he put the money away only to feel some sort of block in his overcoat. "The hell?" He puts the money in a different pocket to check what was in the first one. The pocket contained a book, a paperback; 'Arsène Lupin, Gentleman Burglar' .

"The fuck is a book doing in my pockets?" He thought as he continued on from rooftop to rooftop. He then found a spot that could give him some cover to hide in. He began to examine the book to find a clue about himself, but no such luck; no note, code, no clues. "For once, something I can go on, instead of being a nobody." He thought to himself, he then looked at the book. "Gentleman Burglar, never heard of you Lupin. But let's get to know you." He then begins to read the book.

ONE WEEK LATER

Demons search around in the streets, all frantic and mad. An Imp with street punk look that says he's bad, a demon lizard with street clothing and a mark of a gang to show his affiliations with, and a tall female lizard in high heels. All seem to pant heavily from running

Imp: Sonva bitch!

Lizard: How in the hell did you not know that fucker was not the right fucking hellhound!

Imp: Dude, there's like thousands of fucking hellhounds roaming in hell, how in the hell was I supposed to know!?

Lizard(F): Where the hell is that-

Hellhound: No need to speak that kind of language at the moment.

The three turn to see the hellhound that crossed them. A hellhound with black and white fur with red eyes. The overcoat and black shirt. He's holding onto a case in his hand, with the looks of a calm manner to the three. The three demons on the other hand, were very much pissed at him. 

Lizard: You fu-

The hellhound puts the case to the ground and he steps away.

Imp: The fuck?

Hellhound: I was just passing by where your friend took me for the wrong hellhound.

Lizard: So why the fuck did you-

Hellhound: I was trying to find the right hound to give this case to.

The three looked confused on what he said.

Hellhound: What? Is it so hard to imagine that someone is being kind for once?

Lizard(F): Yes.

Hellhound: Well, guess I’m one of those rare breeds in hell to be nice.

The hellhound takes a few steps back from the case to let the Imp grab the case. The Lizard took a look at it and checked the contents within the case.

Hellhound: What’s in there any way?

Lizard: ‘None of your damn business’ is what it is.

Hellhound raises his hand to gesture ‘sorry I asked.’ The Lizard closes the case. The three walked away and so did the hellhound. The three walk back to the spot where they meet the right Hellhound to be dealing with.

Dealer: Case found?

Lizard: Yeah, sorry for the dealy, it just-

Dealer: Don’t care, what matters is that the deal is being done.

Imp: Right.

The Lizard gives the case to the Dealer, he checks the contents.

Dealer: My boss will be pleased to know that the deal went smoothly.

Imp: So will ours.

The imp goes to reach his phone, but he doesn’t find it. He checks and checks and can’t seem to find it on him.

Lizard(F): What's wrong?

Imp: I can’t find the burner.

Lizard: What do you mean you can’t find the burner?

Imp: I can’t find it, it must’ve-Suddenly remembers

Lizard: What is it?

Imp: The other hellhound, he must’ve had it.

Dealer: How?

Imp: He tripped.

Lizard: He what?

The three rushed after to where they last saw the hellhound who gave them back the case. Unfortunately, the hellhound was gone the moment the trio left with the case. True to what the imp had said, the Hellhound did have the burner phone. He had been looking at the phone's call logs, the numbers and names. After he takes a look upon them, he tosses the phone in the gutter. He heads to a clothing shop to get some new pants, the patchy ones were on their last leg.

After the clothing store, he heads back to a small complex he was living in. He enters the lobby meeting the front desk Imp. She was wearing comfortable clothing, a t-shirt that has a female singer name; Verosika. Along with wearing duke of hazards shorts. Her horns point straight up, few scars are shown on her arms and only one on her face. She looks up to greet the hellhound

Hellhound: Hey Betty.

Betty: Hey Lupin.

Lupin: Anything or anyone new come up?

Betty: Why? Looking for a date?

Lupin: Well, if it means you to be my date.

Betty: Three times you asked me that. Three times I will give you the answer.

Lupin: “No”? I know.

Betty: So why do you try?

Lupin: To see if you say ‘yes’.

Betty: Are you insane?

Lupin: Might be the reason why I’m in this boony.

Betty laughed a bit, showing a smile. Lupin smiles as well, he’s enjoying the talk with her.

Lupin: I am sorry to cut the talk short, but by any chance. Did the Landlord come by for any concerns on the electric?

Betty: No, seems that patch job you did seem to be holding in pretty well.

Lupin: Sighs in relief I’m going to hit the bed, y’know my number to call when there is trouble.

Betty: Yeah, yeah.

Lupin heads up the stairs, though only five stories high, he took the stairs to hear what goes on in the complex. One floor had music playing; the Second seemed to have been having some friends over to watch a show; Third had a private engagement with one’s significant other; Fourth was complaining about the noises as usual; Fifth one was the one where very few would take upon. 

Lupin enters his room to see that there is patch work in the ceiling. Lupin’s room was close to that of a Korean style of living. His shelf has a few books on Arsène Lupin, the rest were about electrician guides, various biology of Hell. He goes to take a shower and wash off the day away, when he finished up, he saw his pure black fur self. The make-up he had on to put in the white part to make himself common to the hellhounds, he opens his cabinet to put away his contact of red eyes in a container for them.

He dries up and puts on his night clothing, he eats from what's left in the fridge. He watches a few channels, even if 666 Newscasters are very annoying. He gets a few things to get ahead of the curp on some people. After a while, he heads over to the closet with other clothes he has in there, but behind them is a bed with a small window with a view of hell.

Lupin: Let’s see if I can’t trick all of hell.

[cube-e-scape]

Wish

I wrote a fic as a birthday gift for Mello. If there is any grammatical error, don't hesitate to tell me :)

Here we go. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~

December 13th, 2009

03:00 am. Why was Mello out here, alone, in the street at this time? Oh right, because he ran out of chocolate, and he couldn't stand the annoying sounds came from his best friend's precious PSP. Seriously, Mello could swear: Matt would make out with it if it was a human. He needed to concentrate in order to catch Kira, for God's sake! But then again, the redhead never said anything about Mello's obsession with chocolate, so he couldn't complain. That's when he chose to go outside and take some fresh air.

But no! Life is such an ass. It had to be snow, SNOW, of all things! Maybe leather wasn't a good idea. But Mello shrugged that thought off nonetheless. He liked leather, and he's strong, he could handle this cold. The worst thing's that there was no store left open. Now he was frozen, he was irritated, and he was starving for sugar.

Brrrrrrrr

Mello felt vibration in his pocket. He took out his phone and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Mello..." There it was, that unmistakable, cold and firm yet soft voice.

"...Near." He was slightly surprised. Why would Near, of all people, call him at this time? "What do you want?"

"Would you mind coming to the SPK Headquarters now?" At this, Mello almost fell back and landed on hit butt.

"Why on earth would I-" the younger boy cut him off.

"Please..."

"..." Wow, begging-Near. That was new. "Fine, whatever."

"Good. When you get there, go to the monitor room. I've turned off security system, so there's nothing for you to worry about."

"Yeah yeah." With that response, Mello hung off immediately, staring at his phone for a few minutes. He angrily kicked a nearest bunch of snow. The blonde then head to the SPK Headquarters, confused and a little excited for an unknown reason.

03:30 am. Mello was standing in front of the monitor room's metal slide door. He took a deep breath. This was the same room where he had met Near for the first time in 4 years to retrieve his photo. Why am I so fucking nervous? He scolded and walked in.

White hair, white pyjamas, pale skin and stormy grey eyes. There he was, sitting in the middle of the dim room in his odd yet familiar posture, glowing softly thanks to his alabaster complexion. Near hadn't changed at all, Mello noted. No matter how old the albino was, he still looked like a kid. He only got slightly taller, his voice got deeper, and his cheeks got less round.

"I'm glad that you came, Mello." Near greeted in his monotone, but there was a hint of delight in it.

"Don't Near. That hospitality-tone doesn't suit you. Just go straight to the point." God, he wish he had had chocolate.

"You're correct. That doesn't suit me." The white-haired boy stated. "Please come here."

"Why don't you pick your lazy ass up and come here?" Mello mocked but he still did as told and sat on the floor, in front of Near. "Now what?" He asked absently. The younger male looked into his azure orbs for a moment, before took something from behind his back. A chocolate muffin.

"Happy birthday..." He whispered softly, his voice sounded awkward. Mello just stared, and stared at the muffin in those small hands. A smirk crossed his face.

"...So you do remember huh?" He whispered back, like their exchange words were something special, something needed to be kept secret.

"Why not? It's not like that you forget my birthday." Near tilted his head.

"Yeah, but I gave you stuffs like shit." Mello remembered everything he'd get Near when they were at Wammy's. There was a year, he gave the boy a piece of paper with 'Dear Near, you are an asshole' on it. And another year, the blonde gave Near crumpled cards so Near couldn't build anything with them. But the little teen always kept what his rival got him, and always gave Mello his favourite type of chocolate on his birthday. That, Mello could never comprehend.

"...You're the only one who remembered it anyway."

Awkward silence.

"Whatever. I'm gonna eat this muffin." Mello murmured and reached for the treat, but Near stopped him. He then took out a small candle and a lighter.

"No. You have to make a wish first." The albino put the candle on the muffin and carefully lit it up.

"...You've got to be kidding me!" The chocoholic growled. This kid was so unbearable!

"It's tradition, Mello." Near replied matter of factly. Mello had to snort at the boy's behaviour. Near didn't just look like a kid, he acted like one too. Hell, that seventeen year old still played with toys.

"Alright sir." Mello closed his eyes. After a moment, he opened them and blew out the candle. The mafioso then immediately grabbed the cake and took a big bite. Half of the muffin had gone into his mouth. He moaned, feeling the sweet on his tongue.

"Hey, have some." Mello offered the younger male the other half. Near just gazed at it before hesitantly opened his mouth and let Mello fed him.

"So, what did you wish for?" Near asked, curiosity filled his voice. The blonde laughed, ruffled his white hair fondly. Near's onyx eyes widened at the touch, but he soon relaxed and leaned into it. He liked, no, loved the feeling. He loved the feeling of Mello's hand in his hair.

"I can't tell, Near. It's tradition." The blonde teased. The albino rolled his eyes. Mello was right, unfortunately.

"So did you have it?" He asked quietly.

"No, not yet. But..." Mello trailed off, hand still on Near's head, stroking his hair gently. "...I'll tell you when I have what I wished for."

"When, exactly?"

"...When everything is over. When Kira get caught. When this case comes to an end. When everything is normal again..." The blonde whispered. "That's when, I promise, okay?" Ocean blue locked with stormy grey. Near thought for a moment, and nodded.

"Pinky swear?" He asked innocently, rising his pinky to Mello's eye level. Mello smiled a genuine smile, then hooked his own pinky with Near's.

"Pinky swear."

January 27th, 2010

Near was sitting in the monitor room, a letter in his hands. It was from Mello. Halle found it in the blonde's apartment. It had 'To Near' on it. The white-haired boy inhaled deeply and opened the letter.

'Near,

When you are reading this, I'd probably died. But I'm not the one who can't keep his promise. I'm gonna make this quick, because it's already weird as fuck. Writing this, I mean. So here we go.

What I wished for on my birthday was you, Near. I want you. Funny, huh? I wanted to beat you, now I want to be with you. I want your mind, your heart, all of you. I love seeing your smile, the way you twirling your hair,... I want to be the one you can trust enough to let your walls down, the shoulder you can lean on whenever you break down. You've always fascinated me. But I guess that having you is impossible now.

I'm sorry, Nate, for being a coward. At least you are safe now. Please kick Kira's butt, and lead a happy life, for Watari, for L, for Matt, for me... I'll be waiting for you at the finish line.

I love you.

Mihael Keehl.'

"Stupid Mello..." Near whispered, his voice was cold and empty. "You've always had what you wished for..."

Outside the room, Rester, Gievanni and Halle watched silently as a single tear hit the floor.