#and if Chuck really wanted fathers killing sons... well. he kinda got that. with cas killing Bel-Not Jack

[shallowseeker]

Okay, and so. Building on this. With Lucifer. He COVETS Jack. He wants his son, right up until the bitter end, I think!

In 13x23, when Jack "broke Lucifer's heart" (per Nick in 14x17), Lucifer ROARS in dismay.

Lucifer does care... kinda. He wants Jack to be the balm to the nihilism and meaningless that he struggled with way back in season 11.

Lucifer's solution for being better than Chuck? Is not to leave Jack.

He feels like his dogged determination to cross worlds to get to Jack will earn him love. (Per his own words in 12x07, he "needs" love.) He expects Jack to see the stars with him, to be closer to Lucifer's angel-oriented morality than Jack's human-oriented one.

Jack was supposed to be the thing that gave Lucifer's life new meaning and purpose.

LUCIFER: Your sons have my boy. So I’m gonna exchange you for my son. MARY: (baffled) You can’t possibly care about raising a child. LUCIFER: Oh, you have no idea what I care about.

13x02

//

It's the opposite of Chuck's neuroses in some ways... Lucifer is clinging extra hard to his family, deriving narcissistic supply from that family.

And... he is jealous of the family Jack chooses to elevate over him.

(Important note: Chuck showed a flash of this fury with Lucifer too, letting slip in season 11 how angry he was when Lucifer "plotted to replace him with the angels.")

//

ANYHOO. When Jack rejects Lucifer, Lucifer covets Jack. He immediately starts showing a, "If I can't have him, no one will" mentality. (Which is, interestingly, a callback to Heaven/Miriam in 13x01 right after Jack was born: "If we can't have him, no one will!" as she stabs Jack with her angel blade, right in the heart.)

Here, Lucifer takes Jack's grace, and then he spirits Jack away to a church. When Sam hangs on for the ride, Lucifer turns his hate on Sam.

Lucifer wants to kill Sam because Jack loves Sam instead of Lucifer.

LUCIFER: Wow, Daddy Sammy coming to the rescue. But your little Jackie, the nougat-loving boy that you had before, he's killed people. He's got lots of blood on his hands. SAM (standing): I don't care. He's family. LUCIFER: Ha! What's family done for anybody? My dad left me. My brothers tried to kill me. A lot. Family blows. And I'm gonna prove it to you. SAM: What, by killing me? Go ahead. LUCIFER: No, I'm not gonna kill you. He is. (pointing to Jack)

Lucifer wanted to be Jack's dad. And all these people keep getting in the way. It's as Rowena said:

ROWENA (13x21): The heartfelt family reunion of Sam, Dean, Cas, Mary, and your very own son Jack. That's right. Your wee boy's over there, and he'll be so glad to see his three fathers. Of course, as far as he's concerned, they are his father. And you? You're nothing to him. Or me. Or anyone now. Nothing.

///

And no surprise: the enviers want to kill the persons they're jealous of.

(Aside/// This might play into how Lucifer killed Cas in 12x23; Kelly and the infant Jack had chosen Cas over him; Cas had stolen Lucifer's destiny!)

It's like how The Empty wanted to hurt/take Jack ("I'm taking HIM. And where we're going, it's worse than Hell! —snicker— Oh, look at them they're SCARED!") It's also... like how Chuck wanted to kill Jack.

CHUCK: (Sighs) Uh, whatever happens to the person you're aiming at also happens to you. So you kill him...

//

But to have the object of your spurned affections be the one to do it? Well. Sometimes, that's even better.

LUCIFER: Now I could -- I probably should -- execute you. I mean, really, really use my imagination. But I'm feeling generous today. So one of you is gonna walk out that door, and the other one will be laying dead on the ground. You choose.

13x23

((((Aside// I love that Lucifer, like Chuck, is forcing them into a no-win situation and FRAMING it as choice. Insanely diabolical, but must feel good for him the one to be driving the trial this time: ("another one of dad's tests?"))))

///

CHUCK: No. Pick it up! Pick it up. Pick up the gun. ... Okay, Dean, no offense, but your brother is stupid and crazy. And that kid is still dangerous. So pick up the gun. Pick it up... pull the trigger... and I'll bring her back.

14x20

Thou shalt have no other gods before Me.

[ananke-xiii]

It's totally just my images-fuelled brain's fault but the pipeline from Chuck smiting Jack and Sam shooting Chuck to Sam shooting Cas and Cas smiting Not-Jack is kinda real.

(This is not a 100% original thought of mine but it was inspired by one of @shallowseeker 's insightful metas)

[dirigibleplumbing]

So, for Destiel, Dean not really dating or even hooking up that often in the later seasons works well for the whole “he's both pining for but also emotional fulfilled by Cas so he doesn’t feel the need”, but like, why do you think they actually just stopped even trying to give Dean a real love interest? The closest they came was kinda Amara? Was it the writers wanting to show Dean's too old for hook ups to “damaged” for romance post Lisa? Jensen didn’t wanna do so many hook up/kissing scenes? They only have so much character time and actor budget they'd rather have Jensen interact with Misha and the other regulars?

(Sam and Cas not sharing storylines makes sense due to how long those scenes would take thanks to Jared fucking with Misha and that time and character is better spent with putting Misha with Jensen or Alex lol)

Sam still had a few love interests (Eileen of course, could make the case for Rowena), tho maybe less after the backlash over the season 8 love storyline? I know the writers were of course aware of Destiel (duh) but I'm not so in deep that the popularity of the pairing vs the General Audience (GA)'s tastes would mean they only catered to the fannish side with Dean's storylines. I think Lisa was liked well enough vs how bad Amelia was disliked so I don’t think Dean not having a love interest was due to a backlash from the GA…perhaps just the taste of the new show runners? That the official romances in the show aren’t really loved by the GA so why bother? But it would give an excuse for letting at least one of the two leads have a break by having scenes apart during the romance plot line, but again perhaps they’d rather use the showtime and actor budget to have both leads take a break with adding more Jack and Cas stories.

(Metatextually it’s amusing to think of Chuck trying to get his Ladykiller main character to go bed some babes and fall for someone before Dean’s tragically killed off, only for Dean to pine and mourn for his dead angel BFF so Chuck kept bringing him back so Dean would stop being sad to get back to smooching ladies, only for Dean to accidentally fall into an almost asexual romance with said BFF and he slips into this frozen state of not getting any nor looking for any cause this is almost enough*. And now Chuck can’t get rid of the BFF or else his main character just stops functioning and it’s BORING)

You could also argue the addition of Mary and Jack is kinda a “love story” for Dean, tho for familial love rather then romantic, that Dean's emotion arcs were taken up by a “Mother and Son” and a “Son becoming his Father to his Son” storyline rather then a romance or rehashing more brother drama and poor Charlie got the “bonding then fridging” storyline with Dean as a platonic relationship rather then the usual romantic on on this show.

(And we can also totally see Cas, Crowley, and Benny fulfill the quasi romantic tropes in canon with Dean but again in the GA eyes it was platonic emotional arcs rather then romantic ones)**

*I can see Dean and Cas being in basically an unofficial Queer Platonic relationship pre-confession in canon, just 2 confirmed bachelors etc etc. Or even post confessions they could wiggle out of it by No-Homoing it as “oh yeah Cas loves Dean but doesn’t want sex and Dean's cool with it besties for life also you will never see him kiss or try and hook up with any women ever again ❤️ (except once because the network made us to truly no Homo Dean)” if they had to make a season 16 and the network is like no Dean can’t kiss the angel lol. (Apparently the network even said no the giving Cas a non Dean boyfriend storyline so they would totally stamp on any official reciprocation from Dean)

** how would you trope-ify and sort Benny, Crowley, and Cas as “standard” romantic interests? Benny=the love interest ur family doesn’t approve of for historical reason but they are drawn together anyway only to depart tragically? Kinda a Juliet-ish without Romeo dying? Boy from the rival school/visiting from out of state you have summer fling with and part knowing you’re lives are going in different directions? Crowley is the reformed Bad Boy, the rival to the central Love Interest that changes for the protagonist but doesn’t “get the girl (gender neutral)”/Redemption=Death? And Cas?

Cas is… oh boy. Uneasy Allies -> Allies -> Enemies -> Comrades -> War Buddies -> Fire Forged Friends -> Estranged Friends -> Betrayer -> Enemies -> Lost Love -> Uneasy Allies -> re- Fire Forged Friends -> Lost Love (again) -> Besties/Found Family -> Brainwashed Ally ->… Maybe as a “Long running show's long term Love Interest that can be concluded until the finale due to a fear of “Moonlighting” so there are increasingly convoluted reasons they can’t be together yet” lol

I have never once watched Supernatural as it aired, and wasn't active in fandom until November 2020, so I'm not really up to date on what's been stated or not stated by the writers, showrunners, directors, etc., nor what the common fantheories are about their motivations or intentions. 

I've read some general meta on the subject and people talking about particular writers and how they viewed various aspects on the show, but I mostly can't keep the writers' names straight in my head.

All to say: my takes are based mostly on vibes and notions I have about how writing and TV production works. 

The longer the show went on, the more it departed from the original monster of the week format. To the extent there were still cases, the week-to-week ones increasingly tended to be in service to a bigger mytharc, and less time was devoted to them onscreen. 

There are certain scenarios we'd seen so many times at that point--Sam interviews a MILF; Dean wears a costume; research happens; the monster is misidentified at first; they talk their way into the morgue/station/records room/security room; we meet a red herring for the killer/monster; etc.--that they could be abbreviated or skipped entirely in favor of recurring characters, characters who directly echo one or more of the main characters and their current acts, and the latest angst about the current mytharc. 

I think at a certain point, "Dean hooks up with a hottie" was, to an extent, likewise considered superfluous. 

Some of The Powers That Be undoubtedly noticed that Cas could fulfill the dialogue roles Dean's hookups used to. Plus, absolutely, everything you're saying about Mary and Jack--non-romantic partnerships, not just his “friendship” with Cas, often replaced that kind of narrative. 

Other TPTB figured viewers would assume that the hookups were still happening, only offscreen. And in classic spn fashion, I think TPTB hoped that by not mentioning the hookups as happening or not happening, they could have it both ways: shippers get to say Dean's not hooking up; anti-shippers get to say there's no evidence Dean's not not hooking up.

As for the metatextual aspect--yeah, that's pretty much how I see it, lol.

[pinknatural]

From across the crowded room of the Roadhouse, Dean spots messy black hair, a flash of tan. His heart pounds, and he abruptly turns away from Jo, pushing into the crowd. He passes familiar faces--Rufus, Pamela, his father--but ignores them in favor of stretching onto his tip-toes, looking for a glimpse--there!

Heart in his throat, tentatively hopeful, Dean calls out “Cas?” as the crowd spits him before his best friend. He’d know those shoulders, that hair, those eyes, anywhere. Cas’s face scrunches, apologetic. 

“Dean,” he says, and his voice is wrong, ocatives too high, and Dean’s heart skips a beat. “I’m sorry.”

“No,” Dean says. 

“I am not your friend,” the man says, in a twisted reversal of what Castiel had said to Claire Novak, years and years ago, and Jimmy Novak says, “I am not Castiel.”

Dean’s heart shatters, and he knows his paradise is lost. 

“This is garbage,” Becky says. She looks up from the manuscript in her hands. “Why would you do that to them?”

Chuck shrugs. He leans back farther on her couch, puts his feet up on her coffee table. He crosses his ankles and she tries to ignore the muddy converse sullying her furniture. She’d literally cleaned that yesterday, does he have no manners?

“They’re my characters,” he says. “I can do what I want with them.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to put Jimmy in Dean’s heaven,” Becky says, frowning. “That just seems cruel.”

“I am a cruel God,” Chuck says, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. “I’m bored of them, and they were rude to me, so this is what you get. Hey, at least Sam got a long and happy life, right? Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“No,” Becky says. “Well, not like that.”

“Hey, I even let him marry your self-insert OC who you’ve been fanfic-ing about,” Chuck says. Becky looks back down at the papers in her hands. 

“Is that who that was?”

“Obviously,” Chuck says. 

It’s not obvious. Becky bites her lip and looks at The Road so Far, which is just a massive pile of papers on her desk. Chuck wrote it to “catch her up” on what’s happened in Supernatural since he stopped publishing the books. She doesn’t really like most of it, but--

“What about Eileen?”

“What about Eileen?”

“Shouldn’t Sam have married her, instead? They were kinda perfect for each other.” Becky has grown since she tried to love-potion him. A husband, two kids, and eight years later Becky likes to think she’s mature enough to admit when some girl would be good for Sam--a hundred thousand words of self-insert fic notwithstanding. 

“No, it’s better for Sam to get out of the life,” Chuck says. 

“But in Carry On it says that Dean Jr was a hunter,” Becky says. 

“Yeah, well, you can’t stay out of the life,” Chuck says. “Ooh, do you think Betty should burn on the ceiling? For old times sake?”

“No,” Becky says. She pauses. “Well...what about Jack? This stuff says he’s God.”

“Obviously not,” Chuck snorts. “Unreliable narrators. I dissolved his power into the trees or whatever. He’s not anywhere, now.”

“Right,” Becky says. “So you killed Cas and then his son? And locked Dean away in heaven without him, but with his face there, tormenting him?”

“Maybe you should finish reading the manuscript,” Chuck suggests. Becky is sure that whatever she’s about to read is going to make Carry On a million times worse, but she looks down anyway. 

Dean’s face twists in pain, and the Shadow smirks with smug satisfaction. Oh, delicious agony. 

It stands up, admiring its work. Finally, everyone within its depths is asleep. Now that its work is done, the Empty can finally rest. It dissolves, vanishing into itself, and it leaves Castiel and Dean Winchester behind, sleeping side-by-side, each tormented inside perfect nightmares. 

“WHAT?” Becky cries, standing up and throwing Carry On onto the ground. 

“Good, huh?” Chuck asks smugly, crossing his arms behind his head. 

“No!” Becky says. “Not good! What was that?”

“Dean can’t go to heaven,” Chuck says, rolling his eyes. “No souls that have been to hell can go there. And you remember what Billie said in The Road So Far. Next time Sam and Dean kicked the bucket, well. Empty time. So Dean and Cas are together. Everyone wins!”

“Nobody wins!” Becky cries. “You mean all that heaven stuff was a dream? Did any of that really happen?”

“Uh, no,” Chuck says. “Obviously. Dean is just dreaming it all. Sam’ll meet Betty in about a week. They’ll have a summer wedding next year. Dean Winchester Junior will be born by 2025.”

“Are you serious?” Becky asks. 

“Yeah,” Chuck says. “I’m God. Everything I say is true.”

“That can’t be right,” Becky says. “You’re really gonna end it like this?”

Chuck straightens, one eye flashing black, the other glowing white. Suddenly, he looks deadly serious, and the squirrelly, scruffy guy looks like something more. 

“Yes,” Chuck says. “I’m bored of this game. The Winchesters have been defeated. Sam and Dean will be miserable forever. Both of them thought they won, but they didn’t. I win.”

He stands and advances towards her. Becky backs away, wondering why her, of all people, why does she have to be the person God runs his rough drafts by?

“What are you going to do?” Becky asks, hoping to get him monologuing, and he smiles, a terrifying twist of his face. 

“Whatever I want,” he says, then he snaps his fingers, and everything goes black.

[ao3]

[mattzerella-sticks]

Desperation, Baby! (coda to 15x19 “Inherit the Earth”, Dean & Lucifer, Dean/Cas, 2.3k, T)

ao3 link

Death took her sweet time parsing through Chuck's book, meaning Lucifer spent longer than he'd like surrounded by his former vessel, his brother, his son, and a man whose obvious longing made him want to vomit. Instead of returning with his prize, Chuck welcoming him back, he must waste his valuable time playing 'nice; with those he can't stand.

Not that it matters. They don't trust him, each member of this ragtag group of survivors watching Lucifer in shifts. Never leaving him alone.

It's Dean's turn now, and he's driving Lucifer up a wall by doing nothing at all save for broadcasting a never-ending supply of feeling. Can he cut the signal without showing his hand, or put Dean's heart to good use?

           It’s pathetic, truly. Lucifer huffs, deflating, sinking further into his seat. Weighed down by obscene amounts of longing that poured freely off Dean like a broken hydrant. Funneled into his awareness because its usual drain was cordoned forever. It flooded these now silent angelic air waves, Lucifer growing more annoyed with each, excruciating second. Until, finally, “Holy hell, can you please quit it?”

           Dean startles from where he stood, jaw tensing. Mouth flattening in a thin line as he glares, “What?”

           “Quit. It. Quitit!” He hisses, leaning forward. Stretches his arms across the table, reaching for Dean. Fingers twitching, Lucifer imagines Dean’s neck between them. “Seriously, you’re giving me a migraine with all your feelings.”

           “Good.” Dean surprises Lucifer with his response. No attempted denial, nor misdirection. His gaze unflinchingly pierced through Lucifer’s vessel, pride bolstering its blow. Lucifer cannot detect any shame that usually clings to his soul, none of that smell lingering. He’s grown since they’ve last seen each other. Stunning character development. “Deserve it, after that dick move you pulled earlier.”

           “You still upset about that?” Scoffing, Lucifer rises. Meanders across the room towards Dean, gaze never straying. Easy since it’s only them. “I thought my gift would have more than made up for that.” He grins, rocking on his heels. A breadth of space separates them now. “How else was I supposed to get in, anyway?” he continues, “Not like if I called as myself you’d’ve rolled out the welcome mat.”

           “But… Cas?” Lucifer savors the taste of his brother’s name, drenched in sadness. Ripped from Dean’s heart in a barely controlled sob.

           “Nasty habit,” he giggles, “Though the results speak for themselves. I mean – you know how easy it was smooth-talking little Sammy when I looked like his ol’ flame, Jess?” Dean doesn’t laugh, snarled lip suffocating Lucifer’s airy mirth. “You’re no fun.”

           “Sorry,” Dean growls, “why don’t you try later when the world’s not ending.”

           “It’s always ending. In one way or another.” Lucifer waves his hand and a chair drags itself over. He straddles it, gazing up at Dean. “If we waited for peace to enjoy life, there’d be no time. Better to… say what’s in your heart, even if it kills you.” He frowns, mockingly, “Or in Castiel’s case… did kill him.”

           Dean slams his fist against the wall. “You have no right –“

           “Timeout there,” Lucifer smirks, eyes glowing red. Reflection of Dean’s entire face, blood rapidly swelling his cheeks. “Don’t want to do anything you’ll regret…” He holds Dean there, frozen, waits until the other man seems calm. Dips his head, tries catching Dean’s gaze. “If I let you go, will you behave?” Dean remains silent, yet Lucifer hears him. Tunes into his frequency, actively sifting through his frenzied emotions. “Seriously,” he lets Dean go, hunter falling on his ass, “how are we supposed to work as a team if you’re not willing to cooperate?”

           “This… isn’t a team,” Dean spits, “you’re working… with the Empty.”

           “And the Empty’s trying to take Chuck out!” he argues, “So, enemy of my enemy is my friend or all that nonsense –“

           “Go to hell.”

           “I wish I could, but I’m kinda on a short leash.” Bored with Dean’s resistance, Lucifer threads his next few words with seriousness. “Listen, once Betty’s done with the book I’ll flit on out of here and one, two, three – humanity is saved from dear, ol’ dad! We can make this all painless if you’d just trust me, or we can keep doing what we’re doing. I, personally, am tired of this bullshit. Rather be napping back in the Empty, but no…”

           “You should be.”

           “Beg pardon?”

           Dean bares his teeth, roiling hatred knocking Lucifer back a few inches. “You should still be sleeping, back there,” he says, “if anyone were supposed to come back, it’d be Cas. Not… you…”

           “Ah, Castiel, yes…” Lucifer sighs, “that would make sense, wouldn’t it? Of course, he lacks my raw power and charm, but… yes, you’d trust anything that he said.” Hand on his throat, he affects his vocal cords. Mimicking the other angel’s gravelly tone again, “Dean, please go along with Lucifer’s wishes and help him –“

           “Enough!” Dean kicks at a chair leg, interrupting Lucifer. Tears threaten to pour, dangling from his lashes like morning dew. “If you really wanna play nice, you’d stop doing that.”

           “This is nice, buddy.” Lucifer pokes at Dean’s leg with the toe of his boot. “Why don’t you grow some thick skin, huh? Where’s the real Dean Winchester? That tough guy with endless bravado instead of this sad, sorry piece of shit that’s pining after some dead guy?”

           Dean turns, Adam’s apple bobbing. “That isn’t me. I… he never was.” An intimate confession whispered into ancient brickwork. Meaningful for a different crowd. Except Lucifer shows little care, sarcastic clapping shattering Dean’s moment.

           “Wow, Dean… really fantastic. Amazing!” He climbs off the chair, crouching closer. Tongue dragged over his lips, smile wide. “Your verbose diction astounds me… did you whip that together after my brother got dragged into super hell? Are you still workshopping it – okay if I give you a few notes?” Lucifer pinches Dean’s cheek, poking this rabid grizzly. “At least you’ve got that face. Clearly Cas didn’t fall for your emotional maturity, your observational prowess or timing…”

           He weakly bats Lucifer off him, “You don’t know anything…”

           “I think I know quite a lot,” Lucifer challenges him, “Between the both of us, only I managed to slip inside my tight-ass little brother. Probably why I knew all his little… perversions, although it was clear as day how he felt about you to everyone – well… almost everyone.” His hand settles on Dean’s chest, atop his heart. “Do you know amazing it was, when I slipped my blade through him? You were a buffet that night… fear, relief, hope… despair. I could’ve ended him in that other dimension, but I waited until he crossed back. Knew how much more painful it’d be.”

           “Monster,” Dean says, “Fucking psychopath.”

           “The old me, maybe.” Lucifer teleports, sitting on a nearby table. Legs absentmindedly pedaling, stirring confusion within Dean. “But I’ve been reborn on the right side, Dean. Nobler. I’ve got purpose.”

           “You’ve got a load of shit,” he accuses, standing on shaky legs, “that you’re trying to sell me. Us.”

           “Come on!” Lucifer groans, hands flying skyward, “Isn’t this supposed to be your eleventh hour? How can you be so stubborn? Here I come, with a Hail Mary, and you’re turning your nose up at me like some snob. Like you have better options waiting. All because you won’t work with the Empty –“

           “It’s not just that,” Dean corrects him, “I also don’t want to work with you.”

           He crosses his arms, pouting. “You’re gonna have to suck that up. So the Empty wouldn’t send your boytoy, do you blame them? For a broken, little thing he sure is popular. Who’s to say Cas’d come back once this all wraps up? At least the Empty trusts me.”

           “I guess something has to.”

           “You can, too, if you want.” Lucifer casts his reel wide, waiting. Eyebrows waggling like baited worms. “It’d be a hell lot easier than what you’re doing now. Come on…” he needles, “why is it so hard to believe in miracles?”

           “Please…” Dean says, hiding his face behind his knees. Arms circled around his legs, curled into a ball. “Stop talking.”

           He relents for the time being. Proud of what cracks in Dean’s armor he made. When Chuck sent him, he asked Lucifer to ruffle a few feathers. Mess with their heads, ensure this ragtag group of losers would stay down. Accept their fate, end this miserable experiment called humanity in sadness. “Don’t provoke them too much, though,” Chuck warned, fists curled along his jacket’s lapels, “Betrayals only work when the other side doesn’t expect them. Plot’s stretched thin as it is, bringing you back doesn’t really make sense –“

           “I love you too, dad.”

           “That’s why you need to lay it on thick,” he said, “steer them away from why, keep the action moving.”

           Lucifer stared down at his father, frowning. “Anything else you need?”

           “No,” Chuck clapped Lucifer’s shoulder, nodding. “Just be yourself.”

           Except none of them wanted him. Especially Dean. He wanted… Castiel.

           It’s a little off-script, but Lucifer bets Chuck will enjoy what he plans. Even if it’ll involve his least favorite character. Lucifer hops off the table, grace burning across his body. Razing this vessel’s form, stealing its characteristics and distinguishability. A tall mound of clay left that he molds into a new body. Darker hair, sturdier frame, and bluer eyes. “Dean,” he says, swallowing his laughter. “Dean…” He tries again, sounding exactly like him.

           Like Castiel.

           Dean tenses, “Cas?” Barely audible, Lucifer strained to hear his prayer. That hope, sweetness quickly bittering as Dean digests the scene. “No…” he sighs, mumbling into his legs. “Lucifer, thought I told you to quit it.”

           “Lucifer is gone, Dean,” he lies, kneeling. “I’m here… please, Dean, look at me.” Lucifer grabs at Dean’s head, thankful the other man lets him. Green finds masked-blue, their ‘reunion’ drawing a pained breath.

           “What?” Dean asks, a single tear slipping free. Trails along his cheek until it falls off his chin. “How – how is this happening?”

           “Because of you, Dean.” Lucifer’s hands shift, a thumb smearing that tearstain while he runs fingers through Dean’s hair. “You refused Lucifer’s help, even though what he said was true. The Empty saw and decided, if we were to truly end Chuck, the risk of sending me will be worth it.” Expression darkening, Lucifer leans into dramatics. Lips quivering as he recites his next line, “Though not without conditions, Dean – I… you know I can’t stay, right?”

           “You will,” he says, “Cas – we will… if this book really can end Chuck, and we take him out, what can the Empty do –“

           “Take you,” Lucifer cuts him off. “Take you… Sam, and Jack. I step even an inch out of line and we all get sucked into their being, with no hope of actually defeating my father.” He nearly breaks character, watching how the light in Dean’s eyes flickered before being snuffed. Lucifer regains composure, growling his next words. “You understand this, then? What it means?”

           Dean nods, snaking his hands across Lucifer’s wrists. “Means we don’t have long,” he barks, squeezing tight. “I have to set it right, right now.”

           “Dean –“

           “No, Cas,” Dean talks over him, guiding Lucifer’s hands off where they rested. Silences the disguised archangel by chaining him, making Lucifer a helpless victim. Awe real as he waits for Dean, cowed by longing powerful than his earlier annoyance. “I… I need to get through this because – well, the last time you didn’t let me get a word in edgewise and I, there was a lot left unsaid that I don’t want to stay that way. If we can’t have a future, then at least… at least we have here.” He laughs, choking on it. More tears dance their way down.

           “When you told me you loved me, I couldn’t believe it,” Dean confesses, “and then, when you told me why I – I was… I believed that less. I mean, you… you’ve listened to your heart more than I have. Even if a few of those times it was wrong, everything you did was for love. Knowing you was – that was my happiness. Having you, in whatever way you’d let me. Because there you were, this shining beacon, and for some reason you kept on letting me bask in your glow. I felt I… I didn’t deserve it. That I didn’t deserve you.”

           Dean brings Lucifer’s knuckles to his lips, pressing a light kiss along a patch of skin. The gesture disgusts him. “And you were right about how – I thought of myself so… so poorly, it kept me from saying and – and doing things I wish I’d done sooner. All my life I thought there were things I couldn’t have, rules I had to live by, and I never questioned them until you saved me from hell. Literal and figurative. Because of you, I wanted to be a better person. I wanted to be good. But I never believed I could. Then you tell me you loved me… because I was good. I already was the kind of person I thought seemed impossible. I couldn’t believe it. What’s stranger… I didn’t have to believe it, to know it’s true.” Dean smiles at him, Lucifer mirroring his gesture though it pained him. “I’m the person I always wished I could be, and even when you’re gone I’ll still be that person. I’ll miss you, Cas. Always. I’ll miss you, and I’ll love you. I’ll love you always.”

           It happens before Lucifer realizes. Distracted, nauseated by Dean’s powerful emotions, he missed how a hand snuck its way towards his neck. Pinched there, startling him. In that second, Dean forces Lucifer into an embrace. Lips crashing together, Lucifer stays frozen while Dean attacks his mouth. Mewling, whimpering.

           Disgusting.

           He pulls the curtains back, reverting to his previous form. Delights in how Dean senses the change, peeking with one eye as Castiel’s face vanishes. The other man violently hurls himself to the side, gaping at him. “Why Dean,” Lucifer grins, awkwardness heavy in his tone, “if I had known that’s how you felt about me…”

           Dean sobs, wiping at his lips. “How… what the –“

           “You really thought I was Cas, didn’t you?” Laughing, Lucifer towers over him. “I figured you’d catch on but… I underestimated you. And for that I’m sorry.” He devours these new emotions radiating from Dean, eagerly lapping them up. “I’m also sorry that you’ve convinced you deserve a happy ending,” he twists the knife further. Dean flinches, turning. Fleeing. Lucifer shouts at his retreating figure. “That’s not your story, Dean! Don’t ask for more, be happy with what you have!”

           Then, as he waits for his next babysitter, Lucifer’s eyes glow red. “Because soon enough… you won’t even have that.”

[mysteryartisticwriter]

Body Stealing Black-Eyed Bitch (2) // Jack Kline/Belphegor X Reader

A/N: This is part two so make sure you go read the first one in order for this one to make much more sense lol. This one is actually a lot longer than the first one because me being stupid didn’t equal it out.

TAKES PLACE DURING 15x01 (SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED IT YET)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN BTW

Requested: Kinda...people wanted this second part but I was gonna make it anyway

Warnings: Blood, some forms of gore, some angst, and some heavy makeout session

PART 1

Not my gifs!! (Please tell me if you, the owner, would like me to take the gif down!)

-

The guys ran to the doors to check the outside while you stayed back and stared down the demon. He noticed you looking at him and smiled.

“What? No thank you?”

You scoffed. “As if I’ll ever thank you.”

You and Belphegor followed the older men to the outside. You exited the tomb and saw that the sky was still an eerie dark black, but the several dead walking bodies had collapsed on the ground, lifeless once more.

“Hey, it worked! High five!” Belphegor cheered, lifting his hand for high five that one paid any attention to.

“The spirits have been destroyed.” Castiel said, looking around the graveyard.

“No, I actually just blasted them out of those bodies.” Belphegor walked past the four of you.

“So where are the ghosts, then?” Dean asked.

Belphegor didn’t really give a proper answer and you all just sighed then headed toward the chevy impala. As always, Dean was driving and Sam was in shotgun. You, Castiel and Belphegor sat in the back, much to yours and Cas’ distaste. It was a bit worse for you since you were trapped in the middle of the two, meaning you were closer to the demon.

The five of you drove down the dark road as Sam checked online if there was anything on the news. Belphegor was checking out his vessel in the car’s mirrors.

“I mean, come on. I look good.” He said while fumbling with his glasses.

“Don’t get used to it.” You barked, your arms crossed and face blank.

“I’m gonna have to, sweetheart.”

“Anything?” Dean asked his brother, changing the subject.

Sam glanced at Dean with a strange look. “No, not yet. I mean, the news, they didn't...it just... I'm not seeing anything about a worldwide zombie apocalypse.”

“So... Ghostpocalypse. Maybe it's just happening here.” Dean suggested.

But Belphegor shrugged from the backseat next to you.

“Eh, for now. I mean the souls gotta go somewhere, right?”

“Yeah, how many are we talking about, by the way? Souls?” Sam asked, turning his body to face Belphegor.

“In hell?”

“Yes.”

“Two...three billion.” The demon shrugged nonchalantly.

Your eyes widened while Sam and Dean shared a dour face. They knew lots of souls escaped from Hell but not that many.

“Alright. Let's just stick to the plan, alright? We head back to the bunker, figure out how to close the rift.” Dean said.

Belphegor sucked in a breath. “If you can.”

You glared your eyes to him.

“Yeah well, you got a better idea?” You snapped.

“I do not. But if you wanted to buy some time, you could always contain the ghosts.” He told you.

“Contain them how?” Asked Sam.

“Magic.” He answered, as if it was obvious.

“And you just happen to know the right spell?” Cas pointed out.

“Lucky you.” Belphegor said, smirking at you.

You just rolled your eyes and sank back into your seat.

“What do you mean by "contain"?”

“Imagine a salt circle a mile wide. No ghosts get in, no ghosts get out.”

“No,” Castiel interjected. “That town, Harlan, Kansas is less than a mile from the cemetery.”

“Then we get everyone out.” Dean deadpanned.

“How?”

“We lie.”

-

It was already light once you guys arrived back in the town. Sam left the car to speak to the sheriff about the town’s evacuation, you, Dean, Cas and Belphegor were left in the car.

“We can handle the evac, so why don't you grab Crowley Jr. here whatever he needs for his spell?” Dean told you and Cas.

“No.”

“I’m not doing that.” You both protested at the same time.

“What?” Dean confusingly asked.

Castiel looked anywhere but Belphegor. “Dean, I can't. I-I...I can't even look at him.”

A terrible silence went through the car before Cas finally just sighed and left the car. Dean just turned back into his seat and pulled out his extra pistol, opening the glove compartment and shoving it in there out of plain sight. Belphegor took notice and looked over the seat to see what he hid.

“Uh, what’s that?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay, cool.”

Dean looked at you in his rearview mirror and sighed.

“(Y/n), I’m gonna need you to help...Belphegor find his supplies and seal up the town. Once you finish the spell, come find us, okay?”

“I am not dealing with him...I can’t. This demon is inhabiting Jack’s-” You stopped. “He’s using his body, Dean.” You confessed to the eldest Winchester brother.

“Sorry, but I’m not asking, Singer.” Dean scolded you, using your last name.

Whenever he used it, you knew he meant business. No one ever called you by your adoptive father’s last name but the Winchesters and that only happened in times where you really pissed them off. You just scoffed and scooted farther away from the demon next to you.

Being near Belphegor kept reminding you that the love of your life was gone forever. Every memory, good and bad, about Jack replayed in your mind. From when you first found him, to teaching him to control his powers or even when he ran away. Your heart and mind ached, ached for your love back.

You noticed that Dean and Belphegor stepped out of the car so you followed on your side. Dean gave you strict instructions about the demon (mainly on making sure he didn’t go rogue and kill you) and then left you alone with him.

As you walked down the street, Belphegor walked next to you and watched several people who walked past you two. He eyed their appearances then whispered to you.

“So, people are, like, crazy good-looking now, eh?”

You furrowed your eyebrows in a mix of irration and confusion. “What?”

“I mean, the last time I was on Earth, when I was human. Ah, it was a while ago. I mean, but, you know, we were all worshipping this giant rock that looked like a huge penis, and...”

“Ew, dude, TMI.” You grimaced. 

“It’s true! Anyway, folks back then, they were, uh, ugly. You know? Had a lot of humps. I mean, a lot. Look at 'em now,” Belphegor stared at your body and smiled. “I mean, look at you. I mean, you're, uh, you know, beautiful.”

You halted in your tracks and a memory popped into your mind.

“You’re very pretty, (Y/n).” Jack told you.

You looked up at him in surprise. The two of you were just in the middle of searching for a case in the bunker’s library when he broke the silence with his words. Jack was just staring at you with a lovestruck gaze and you blushed heavily.

“Thank you, Jack. I think you’re very pretty, too.” You replied, trying to focus on your computer.

“No, no, I mean it.” You looked back up at him, staring into his piercing eyes. “You’re beautiful.”

A tear escaped your eye before you had a chance to wipe it away. Belphegor saw you had stopped walking so he looked to you and saw your bleak expression.

“Um... you good?” He asked, going to shake your shoulder but was stopped by you grabbing his wrist.

“Never touch me. Never call me beautiful. And don’t you ever ask me if I’m good,” You furiously wiped at the tears in your eyes. “Because I am never good.”

You could see out of the corner of your eyes that some people were starting to stare at you two. Although you were still angry, you let go of his wrist.

“Let’s just get your shit and get out of here. Wh-When are you gonna get out of that body, anyway?” You asked.

“Eh, when I find another one. I mean, I would've jumped at the cemetery, but all those meat suits were a little too, uh, you know, wormy. Difficult to blend, if you will.” Belphegor droned on.

“Yeah...sure.”

“So, uh...who was...he, anyway?”

You turned to him but continued walking. “What?”

“Well, I know he was your boyfriend and all but uh...who was this kid?” He curiously asked.

You hesitated before answering.

“His name was Jack. He was a lot of things. To the boys he was their kid. Kinda. But to me,” You swallowed. “He was important. My love, my light, my everything. And now he’s gone, with you inside his corpse.”

The demon could see the emotion in your eyes, even if you did try to keep a straight face, Belphegor could see what you were truly feelings.

“Oh. Uh...sorry.”

You shook your head and carried on.

“So, what do you need for this spell?

“You know, nothing much. Big bag of salt.”

“Easy.”

“And a...and a human heart.”

You physically groaned. You really need a break from death.

-

You exited the convenience store with a huge bag of rock salt. Turning to your left, you entered an alleyway where Belphegor was leaning against a brick wall. He noticed you coming toward him and brushed off his vessel’s clothing.

“Here’s your salt.” You said, handing him the bag.

“I’m going to call Dean about the heart. Maybe he knows a way to get one.”

You grabbed your phone from your pocket and began to search for Dean’s number in your contacts until you saw Belphegor staring at you. For a moment, he reminded you of Jack and his innocent gazes.

“Is there a problem?” You asked. He shook his head.

“No, no, it’s just...you’re very popular in hell.”

“I am?” You asked, pretty curious.

“Yeah. I mean, you may not be Winchester famous but still really well known.” The demon affirmed.

“And how exactly am I “well known” among Hell? I’ve been with the boys for almost eight years now and no demon has ever told me that I’m popular.”

“Kevin Tran, duh. He always talks about you, talks about how you were his best friend and how much he missed you- god he was so whinny.”

You stared at the demon with a blinking look, not sure if you had hear him correctly.

“K-Kevin? Kevin Tran?” You wanted him to confirm. He nodded.

“But God said- Chuck said he was going to Heaven. Kevin is supposed to be in Heaven!” You fumed, getting angrier by the second.

First that son of a bitch messed up your lives for his own entertainment, then he kills Jack, and now apparently he didn’t even send your old best friend to Heaven like he said he would! That lying bastard.

“I’m going to fucking kill that bastard of a writer.”

“Woah, woah, chill. Calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to be calm! My best friend is in Hell!”

Your breathing started to pick up, your mind clouded by anger and you paced back and forth in the ally way. You didn’t even notice Belphegor come up to you and grab you by the shoulders.

Not really knowing anything else to do, Belphegor lifted your chin and smashed his lips onto yours. Your eyes widened in surprise and didn’t even have a chance to respond to the kiss. Because he was using Jack’s body, he tasted like him, felt like him and even the way he held you felt like Jack. For a moment, you forgot that it wasn’t Jack in his body, it was a demon.

After feeling you not freaking out anymore, Belphegor let you go and stared you in the eyes, you staring at your shocked reflection in his sunglasses.

“You calm now?”

You weren’t even thinking anymore. It had felt like forever since you kissed Jack, and even though your mind knew it wasn’t him, your body still craved for his touch again. Without even thinking, you forced your lips back onto his.

Belphegor responded almost immediately, kissing you with just as much passion as you did. His kisses were different, not the soft and sweet kind that your Jack and you always shared. No, this was different, what you felt was true lust and roughness.

You felt him push you up against the brick wall he was leaning against and you could feel his hips grind into yours. You moaned into the kiss, feeling Belphegor’s smirk against your lips. One of his hands found their way from your hips and almost up your shirt.

The hot and heavy kiss had only lasted for a while until Belphegor let your lips go. His stupid and cooky smirk was plastered on his face.

“Come on, we got a bunch of souls and ghosts to seal into this town, right?”

The demon walked past you and out of the alleyway, standing at the end and waiting for you. After everything that’s happened to you in the past couple of days, you managed to make a tiny smile at him.

-

Later, after calling Dean, you told him about the heart you needed for the spell and he suggested you going to morgue. You and Belphegor walked down the empty street, heading to your destination.

“So...about that heart.” He brought up the subject again.

“On it. Dean said that we could probably just head down to the morgue.”

You saw the demon shrug and scrunch up his face.

“Hmm. Fresh, it'd be... it would be better.”

You were about to answer when a man screaming in the distance caught your attention. Immediately, you ran towards the sound with Belphegor following behind you. You went down the street and around the corner to see the town’s sheriff laying on the ground, dead.

You kneeled down to the body and saw a closer look to his neck. There were deep scratches that cut deep and blood drained from his body onto the pavement.

You internally gagged, but managed to keep it down and covered your mouth with your hand. Belphegor wasn’t very affected from the dead man on the ground.

“Hmm, cool.”

You looked up to him with a weirded out face, he just shrugged as if it was nothing. Then again, he was a torturer in Hell for thousands of years.

“Fuck...”

“Yeah. Yeah, poor guy.” Belphegor said with no sympathy at all.

He leaned down toward the body and pushed his hand into the man’s chest, you backing away in disgust and shock. Belphegor pulled out a fresh, bloody heart and showed it to you.

“Well, I got a heart,” Bel smirked and held the organ out to you. “I would give it to you but-”

“I don’t care.” You deadpanned.

He raised his hands up in defense.

Suddenly, the air around you turned cold and when you exhaled, your breath turned white. You knew what this was, a ghost was near.

“We need to move. Now.” You commanded the demon until you heard a voice from behind you.

“Can you take me home?”

You turned around to see the woman in white that Sam and Dean had told you about, the first hunt they went on that started them on this journey together. She whipped her hand out and you went flying towards a nearby dumpster and some boxes.

You took a moment to breath and saw the woman walking towards Belphegor, ready to attack him. The demon backed away, still carrying the heart.

“O-Oh, hey. Look, okay?” He stammered, putting his hand out in front of him.

“Bad ghost! Bad!”

She once again swiped her hand at his lifted hand and created deep scratches into his palm. He winced at the pain and held his hurt hand close to his chest.

Just as the woman was about to pounce on him, you quickly grabbed an iron pole from the boxes and swung at the ghost with all your might. She disappeared right away but you knew she would be back.

“Bel, spell, now. Let's get the salt.”

After running back to grab the salt you had left in the alleyway, you grabbed it and poured it all into a large pile in the middle of the now deserted street. Belphegor then set the dead man’s heart in the center of the salt.

“We good?” You asked.

“We’re good.”

He stood firmly and began to chant the spell. 

“Animi...infernorum...spiritus abyssi surrecti...defigo...vos intra confinia. Vinciamni!”

As the salt and heart began to glow red, Belphegor set his hand firmly into the street in front of the ingredients. A powerful wave washed over the whole town then everything went back to being quiet once more.

-

After meeting up with the boys, along with a mom and her young daughter, you all rode back into the high school to drop off the little family. There wasn’t enough space in the backseat of the impala so you kind of just ended up sitting on top of Belphegor’s lap.

Dean stopped the car in a parking spot and him, along with his brother, turned to face the five of you in the back.

“So, what now?” The mother asked.

“Okay. You two go inside. We'll take care of the town.” Sam told them.

“And maybe don't tell anybody about the whole ghost thing.” Dean added.

“Or the angel thing.” Cas said, looking towards the girl and her mom.

“Yeah, that... that might freak them out.”

Belphegor scoffed from beneath you. “Uh, might?”

You elbowed the demon in the stomach, causing him to groan in pain. You then smiled softly towards the two.

“You’ll be okay, stay safe, alright?”

The mother and daughter left the car and you finally were able to get off of Bel’s lap. It was pretty uncomfortable for you but obviously, Belphegor had enjoyed every bit of it.

Dean drove off to the middle of the parking lot and stepped out of the car, everyone already had gotten off as well. He walked up to you standing next to Belphegor.

“Good to know that the spell worked. He cause any trouble?” Dean questioned, nodding towards the demon who just waved at him.

You looked at Bel then back to the tall man and shook your head.

“No. No, not really. Surprisingly, Bel is pretty okay for a demon. He can’t replace...”You stopped for a moment. Then you remembered the kiss in the alleyway, feeling guilty. “He didn’t cause any trouble. We’re fine.”

Dean looked suspiously between you and Belphegor but nodded and walked over to Cas. You turned over to the demon who was leaning against Baby.

“Bel, what happened in the alleyway...that can’t happen again. I-I mean, I just lost Jack and I can’t-”

Belphegor interrupted you before you could continue.

“Calm yourself, sweetheart. What happened in the alleyway can be our little secret, all right?” He raised his eyebrow in a sly manner, making you slightly giggle, something you haven’t done in a while.

“Our secret.”

You saw his left hand and remembered how the woman in white did some damage to it. You held your hand out so you could take a closer look at it.

“Let me look at your wound.”

He shook his head. “Nah, it’s fine. I’ve been through worse.”

“Don’t care. Give me your hand.” You persisted.

Belphegor sighed and lifted his hand to allow you to grab it. You looked over the three deep scratches in his palm and bit your lip in slight disgust. You dropped his hand.

“Let’s clean that up.”

You grabbed some supplies from the Winchester brothers since they were fixing up Sam’s almost infected bullet wound. Taking a piece of bandage, you cleaned up Bel’s scars then wrapped his hand.

“You really care about me, don’t you?” He teased, cockily.

You scoffed.

“You’re in Jack’s body, I don’t anything happening to yo- it. You’re still a body stealing black-eyed bitch, Bel.”

-

A/N: Oh my god, it’s like 7am and I have been up working on this since 1am. I really need food and sleep. Stay safe, loves!

Lemme know if you wanna be tagged in my Supernatural stories!

Someone messaged me and asked me if I could tag them but I completely forgot who so whoever messaged me, please do it again so I can add you!

TAGGED:

@shortwinchester​

@coltcas​

@urlaslongasafalloutboysongtitle​

[missjackil]

My 15x17 Opinion

Unity

Wow! This one was a rollar coaster ride! I’ve seen positive and negative responses from y’all but I’ll say, though it had its flaws, I thought it was basically what I watch the show for. Tension drama, emotion, twists and turns and all that good stuff! 

We start off that Sam is still angry with Dean and giving him the silent treatment. A typical Winchester argument occurs but comes to a painful halt when Sam says, concerning Jack “We dont give up on family!!” and Dean returns fire with “Jack’s not family!!” OMG I could HEAR Sam’s heart shatter! Dean isn’t wrong in his follow up though, they both care for Jack a lot (Sam evidenty moreso) but he’s not family at their level, or even Cas’s level for that matter. This isn’t anything we shouldn’t aready know. Michael!Dean even pointed this out in s14. 

I don’t think this means Dean doesn’t love or care about Jack at all. In fact Im sure he does even if he still holds a grudge, but he’s not on Sam level, no one is... nor is he on Mom, Dad, Bobby or Cas level, but maybe Rowena level? Id say somewhere between Rowena level and Kevin level.

Sam loves Jack and apparently thinks of him as his son, though he never says it. He has said “He’s our kid!” but never said Jack is like a son to him. Im not going to go too meta on this, but  I kinda think Dean’s line of thought is “Well Sam and I both have died to save the world, why can’t Jack?” and Sam is thinking “Enough of this damn dying to save the freakin world!” but thats my opinion :) 

Of course Jack overhears which also hurt and he asks Sam if hes mad at him. Sam weighs his words so well to make sure Jack knows Sam understands and appreciates the mission, but he thinks its wrong.

I have mixed opinions of the Amara and Chuck portions. I think Amara was great! I really like her, but I was distracted by an OTT Chuck that I really didnt like. Not just on a bad guy level but the childishness was much more like a bad impression of Lucifer than any Chuck we’ve seen. Im still hoping beyond hope that Chuck gets redeemed some way though I think its not very likely. But it aint over till its over and SPN has surprized me a million times before.

Adam and Serafina were annoying. I thought it also very weird that Dean thought the woman must be Eve when he killed Eve in S6. Guess they forgot s6, but thats ok, I try to forget it too!

So Jack becoming a bomb is the only way to defeat Chuck. Im gad to hear Sam call Dean out on his “Its the only way” attitude. I flash back so Sacrifice in s8 when Sam was going to martyr himsef ... again... and when Dean found out Sam would die, all of a sudden, this isnt the only way!! “We have enough information to turn the tides here... think about what we know....” to show Sam that they do have options, and yet, when it doesnt have to do with Sam’s life, Dean becomes somewhat of a defeatist. (its ok Dean... I know theres a “Samception” to every rule 😉🤜🤛)

Meanwhile Sam and Cas figure out how to get to Billies Library. Im kinda sad they keep using Meg as The Empty, Im so down for Megstiel, I wish theyd go that route instead.  Anyway, she confirms that Billie needs him so maybe if she starts kiling him, Billie will come. Sam lies his way out of that and tricks her into giving him God’s book. Now we have that and Im curious as to why Billie and/or Chuck need Sam. I still think for Sam to die, Dean needs to kill him and this is why Chuck manipulated Dean to pull a gun on him, which goes well with OG Death needing Dean to kill Sam, or “Ill do it for you” and OGs Death’s eagerness to reap him. This is intriguing, and I cant even meta on it, because I have no clue LOL

So we have this crazy physical fight between Sam and Dean which leads us to Sam’s touching speech. “What about me? Would you trade me?” The line that of course, stops Dean in his tracks. I THINK that if Billie resets everything that Sam stays dead from s2? Or maybe just since she has been Death and Sam would stay dead when he got vamped in the AU? Im not sure, but Sam didnt seem to mean that Dad would have stayed dead from before Mom made her demon deal, or that would just mean neither would exist.

Sam tells Dean that he’s always protected him, from Dad, from Lucifer etc... and I see a lot of controversey on Tumblr about this statement as an attack on John. I don’t really think so, though no matter how much of a John fan you are, the show never paints him as an ideal father. Its not “these new writers” its every writer since the Pilot. Since season 1 John has been depicted as an obsessed man who raised them to be hunters, left them alone as children for days/weeks at a time and had anger and drinking issues, all while showing that he loves his boys, wants them to be safe and ultimately only wanted what was best. I dont see the show ever depicting him as physically abusive, so its not hard to imagine that Dean would have stepped into a verbal argument between Sam and Dad to distract Dad before it got messy like we saw him do a couple times in S1. 

So Sam goes on saying he didnt always like “it” either being protected or the form of protection used, but regardless, its the only thing he could rely on, and the ony thing he knew was true. And in this moment while Dean still wants to kill Chuck, Dean probably believes its whats best for Sam too, to get off the wheel so to speak, but if Billie wins, would he no longer have Sam?? YIKES!! Winchester tears all round! And ya know, I actually like that Sam just said “put down the gun” instead of like “believe in us too” something about it made it feel more critical. Like Dean had lost his shit and Sam knew it. Dean could cry and hug him and tell him he loves him more than life, but Sam is still in danger of Chuck manipulating Dean into killing him, untill Dean puts down the gun.

Meanwhile Chuck talks Amara into becoming part of him again, to be one. This also gave me feels. But now here comes a super pissed off, super charged Chuck who has had it with these boys. “After everything, you still do this!!” and now they get to watch Jack die.... maybe.. to be continued. 

So yeah I reallly liked this episode despite the annoying issues. Definitey on my “watch again” list!

So on a scale from Bloodlines to Lebabon I give Unity a 8.5. Thanks guys I needed that!

[castielsangel-blade]

So it's taken me a bit of time to get my thoughts in order on the finale and, of course, I did not like it. In fact, it left me with more questions than answers and not in good way that stories sometimes do. This was just... not good.

Below, I'm going to list some reasons why I didn't enjoy it. But, as an aside, if you did like it, then I'm glad! I'm happy you're not hurting about it!

So, the episode starts off kinda, y'know, happy-ish. It's a little uneasy because we have no idea where it's going, or what they're gonna do. Sam's on his run, Dean's waking up, and Miracle jumps on his bed. It's nice. But they only show the brothers, which leads me to my first reason.

1. Eileen isn't there. In fact, no one is.

Eileen was Sam's established love interest, so, surely, we should see her or at least hear her mentioned considering she got dusted off-screen in the previous episode. And Sam's a very caring person, he would definitely go check up on her but we got nothing. No mentioned in passing, no picture in his room, no glance at his phone screen to see a message from her. Just... nothing.

After they're all ready for their day, Sam sits across Dean and Miracle in the library and asks if he found anything. It turns out to be a pie festival or some shit and that shows us that Dean wasn't even looking for a hunt. He was just surfing the 'net while he petted Miracle (I love that damn dog) affectionately. So, they go to the pie thingy and this next part, Dean got a lot of crap for but I honestly get it.

When Sam said he thought about and missed Jack and Cas and Dean replied with that he did too, but then "brushed it off", I honestly think that was on par with his character. Dean this past season (and all seasons, but especially this one) had really grown. He would talk about things bothering him to an extent. In my opinion, mostly to Cas. Sure, he'd eventually tell Sam but usually after some huge fight but it just came naturally with Cas. And it's because it's just easier to talk to your friends and let them see you in a "weak" moment than with your family—especially when said family is someone you've protected for a majority of your life. I think that was definitely in character (although my headcanon is that Dean cries late at night when it's just him and only Miracle is there to comfort him).

So next, a case just falls into their lap and they soon discover that it's a hunt John never completed. And here's my next reason.

2. John was said to be one of the best hunters, but he didn't know that was a vamp nest.

Look, it just doesn't make any sense. Sure, they wore masks and did some other weird shit to throw hunters off the trail, but the most prominent sign points to vampires! Sam got it in one, so, really, what the hell?

So they go and find the nest pretty easily and it's a simple MOTW ep. And the boys have fought some major Big Bad's in their day, so run-of-the-mills vamps should be pretty easy, right? Apparently not, which leads me into my third reason.

3. The actual vampire didn't even kill Dean their usual way. Didn't turn him, didn't rip out the throat or anything like that. In fact, the vampire simply got lucky.

Sure, you could argue that their plot armor was gone, but that's not fair. The Winchester Brothers are amazing hunters and they do know how to actually fight. That wasn't Chuck, at least, not all of it. The vampire did just get lucky and that's the devastating part. Dean didn't go out in some huge, end of the world battle. He went out with a stab to the back (one could argue that that's the network stabbing his character in the back and I'd honestly agree). Dean died terrified. Which leads me into my next reason and also an opinion that I haven't seen anyone else share.

4. Sam could've healed him or gotten him help.

I don't knock Sam for this. Dean was genuinely frightened. But this brings me to my opinion. So, Dean, as we all know, has spent his entire life thinking he's not good enough, that he's meant to die bloody, he's just a soldier, a grunt, that he doesn't matter, not the way Sam does. I feel like Dean was aware that Sam could've helped him pretty quickly considering the fact that Sam was a witch trained under Rowena, and he chose to let himself die at that moment. He figured this was the way he was always gonna go and since he doesn't have to worry about another big bad coming onto the board, I think he felt that it was time to stop cheating Death—it always ended messy. Sure, I do truly think he wanted to live his life (more on that later), but I think in this moment, he actually wanted to die. He'd lost Cas, and Jack was in the wind and dust and rain and whatever the fuck else. All he had was his brother and Miracle and Sam could take care of himself now along with Miracle. In that moment, that's all he could think about.

5. No one else attended Dean's funeral.

Maybe Sam didn't tell anyone so he could just mourn alone, but there's no way, had anyone else known, that they would let Sam be alone after losing the only biological family member he had left. That just doesn't make any sense. It certainly wouldn't have gone over well with Jody and Donna; they'd at least show support for Sam. But Claire, Alex, Patience, Krissy even???? Garth, Bess, and the kids??? Or every hunter in the US of A seeing as, despite causing a lot of the bad shit in the show, they did clean everything up and saved/helped a lot of people. Out of respect, surely they'd show up.

6. From the official looking document sitting on Dean's desk that we see as Sam's mourning, Dean was looking into a job.

This is important because it means that he was getting ready to retire (also why he wasn't looking for any hunts). He wanted to live his life for Cas and everyone they lost, so their sacrifices weren't in vain (and he died anyways, jesus christ).

So after that brief time alone, Sam packs up everything and Miracle and they leave the bunker. This next reason is kinda stupid, but it really did hit me hard.

7. No one knows all that history is down there. And if they do, no one can get to it.

Sam had to have locked it up so all that knowledge didn't fall into the wrong hands. You could argue that he told his son about it, seeing as his son does have an anti-posession tattoo, but we don't know. All we know is what we were shown, which is Sam had a son named Dean and he played catch with him, helped him with his homework, told him something about the supernatural (hence the tattoo) and that's it. We get nothing else.

8. Sam spends the rest of his life with a blurry, unimportant wife (see family photos in which she's featured in absolutely none of them), and mourning the death of the brother, one of his close friends, and his son.

Now people can argue that Sam wasn't a father figure to Jack (or more like an uncle), but he definitely was. Cas, Dean, and Sam were all parental figures to Jack, that's the story. That aside, Sam had this air of sadness around him because we weren't given much else with Kansas' Carry On Wayward Son playing, so we don't know if he ever truly healed even a little. It honestly looks like he didn't. Like, at all.

9. Cas is apparently alive, but he didn't go meet the brothers or meet Dean in Heaven which is OOC as fuck

We're all assuming that the time skip in between ep 19 and 20 is a week, right? Because they stay pretty even with the flow so it's not so confusing. And it was about two weeks since Cas died in 18th episode and a week since Jack became the new god. Dean got there and it was already all reconstructed, so it must not have taken that long, so why didn't Cas, who considered the brothers his family, not go see them back on Earth? Maybe there were terms and he had to stay with Jack to mentor him or something but we don't know. They give us absolutely nothing to go on. And even if he couldn't leave Heaven or something, he must've known that Dean was there, so why didn't he meet him in there. He could have but we don't know. They just said fuck it all and ended the episode before we really got any damn answers.

10. Why did two different versions of Carry On Wayward Son play back to back?

It didn't seem to really go with the flow of anything and it was honestly kinda weird. Seriously. I get that the original was a peppier and that when we see Dean driving and Sam growing older. And it switches to the slower version as Sam is on his premature deathbed and then it stops when the brothers reunite. It was just... odd. All I could focus on was that during the ending.

11. Bobby must've sat there for like 5 seconds if Dean just drove down the road and Sam was already dead.

This one is also not a big deal but I thought it just didn't make sense. Time goes differently. And it wasn't even that long that Dean was in Heaven and Sam was already there. So, like, Bobby must've just gotten a beer and sat down when Dean turned up and he was like "shit, boy. Don't you know how to quit dyin'?!" because, honestly, I would have.

This are all of my big reasons right off the bat. There are more deeper reasons, but this is it for now. I really hope any of this made sense. But, like I said before I started this list, if you liked it, cool! I'm not in the business of telling people how they should feel about certain things. I just wanted to share some reasons why I didn't like it.

[spiritclusters]

Thoughts On SPN Finale (Both Positive and Negative)

As a fair bit of warning here, this post is going to be a mix of both positives and negatives on the finale. I am happy to agree to disagree about this, okay? So no hate, pls. <3

After letting the finale sit on my mind for a week, spinning between frustration, tears and aching loss, I think I’m finally ready to say something about it. Honestly, with the way that the fandom has been kinda murderous the last few days, I haven’t been brave enough to take the heat yet. 

But yeah. Here we are. (This is both a mixed review of kind of 15.19 + 15.20)

Thank you for *giving me a meltdown so we could be here.

Firstly, from the standpoint of a fan, I was satisfied. Sam, Dean, and Cas were given rest. It wasn’t the rest that I’d wanted, but these characters that I have watched struggle with battle after battle for fifteen seasons (or eleven) were finally allowed to sit still and just be. No pressure on them to save the world, no one yanking strings; they are, for the first time in their lives, perfectly safe in a heaven controlled by their adoptive son. Ergo: an environment that will never, never try to backstab them. 

Cas wasn’t stuck in the Empty. Jack, who said that he’d be here and there, immediately went and rescued his angel father from the end. The duo can now be happily influencing creation for eternity to come. Cas can, at last, be happy, knowing that by raising Jack, he has atoned for everything. Heaven is fixed, the Winchesters are safe. Cas can rest. 

Jack is finally at peace with himself. He has no doubts about his character. He is happy. Jack has always wanted to be good, and he finally has the means to do it widespread. He is a balance of both light and dark with Amara, and he is finally capable of keeping his family and himself safe. Jack can rest. 

Sam got a family. Sam was able to be the one thing that he wanted when he was twenty-two: a family. A wife. (Of which I will fight for my dying breath that blurry woman in the background is Eileen.) Stability. The ability to step away from hunting. Sam was able to put himself first. Sam can rest. 

Dean was given peace. Dean has always had an incredible guilt complex about leaving hunting. He’s wanted to from as far back as season two, probably before, but he’s never been given a chance to stop. Chuck kept pulling him back in, over and over, because any peace that Dean had the chance to capture was taken from him. Dean was able to stop filling the void from Cas’s death and Jack’s disappearance by not having to hunt anymore. His death was bittersweet, but by being finally forced to stop hunting, Dean Winchester was finally able to rest. 

Am I happy that the only way the writers decided to give the characters rest was to kill them? No. But I understand that it was nessercary in the world of SPN that they move on. If they kept hunting, the show would have felt compelled to continue. I think we all knew that the finale was going to be one final sweep of the board to kill everyone.

I am deeply, deeply grateful for the effort that JA and JP put into the final showing of their characters. The performances were very alive and beautiful. I will forever be in awe of Dean’s death. The raw emotions between the two was absolutely gorgeous. I’m not a crier, and there have been very little scenes in SPN that have made me cry, but Cas’s goodbye and Dean and Sam’s were absolute beautiful. MC, JP, and JA gave their all into these characters write offs, and they were momentous. 

That said, from a writer’s stance, 15.19 and 15.20 were an absolute disaster. 

Random cameos that serve very little to the plot, fan services, and awkward conclusions that weren’t as well put together as I would have liked. Unconcluded dangling loose ends that can almost tear the entire season (series) apart because though we spent so much time building up to something--nothing of consequence really...happened. Yeah, Chuck destroyed creation, but Jack reversed uno’d that. That’s just the first one of many that comes to mind. 

I will say this only once and only once, but--a writer’s job is not to please the fans, it’s to tell a story. 

Yes, I’m happy that we got fan services, but I would have been happier if they had kind of...ignored us, and just told the story that they wanted to without fear of repercussions. As a wrap up to the series, I was deeply disappointed. Y’know what would have been better? (for all of s15, honestly, because s15 was a mess) Actually caring about growth and healing. If we had seen Sam recover from mental health issues (cage trauma, cough, cough), Dean recover from alcoholism + adjoining anger issues, and Cas manage to find healing from the loss of his family and the mistakes that he’s unwittingly stepped into. 

I guess, for me, I was hoping to see the boys + Cas actually...recover. For the writer’s to acknowledge the crap that they’ve put them through and see them to the end of it in life. Death is not healing, okay? Death is an escape for a writer to use as loophole. I know this firsthand. 

I also know, writer-wise, that angst and trauma are much easier to write and easier for an audience to follow, but I still. Frustration. 

And to those of you who might argue that Sam did heal--he...didn’t. Sam and Dean are soulmates. There is a connection that we cannot simply cannot understand or fathom there. (It is why, I believe, Dean made the deal for Sam in S2. It is almost physically impossible for them to live without each other.) Sam’s soul died when Dean’s went to heaven. What stayed on earth was little more than a grieving shell. 

Look guys, I’m not frustrated because of a lost ship. I’m not frustrated because the boys deserved better (even if they did), I’m flustered because we did. We deserved to see them heal and get better + move on from hunting while they were alive because that would have been incentive to always keep fighting. A promise that things do get better. For me, the ending didn’t feel like a promise to carry on it was just...disappointing. 

So yeah. Mixed feelings. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only non-destial (even though destial shipper’s feelings, like any other fan’s, are completely valid) shipper out there who wasn’t satisfied. I don’t know. I guess...after so long of watching these characters suffer, I wanted the peace to see them let go. For the ending to feel like a new beginning instead of the end. Still. I’m not going to go hate on CW, the directors, or cast. I’m still very, very grateful for the work they did put into the show. 

With that. 

Thank you Supernatural. Thank you Misha Collins, Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles for Castiel, Sam and Dean Winchester. You will forever hold a special place in my heart. <3 

[mittensmorgul]

It’s incredible to me how much of s14 is... s15 lite, like everything with Michael and his dreams of a monster apocalypse was just the more easily defeated version of Chuck and his dreams of a monster apocalypse.

I’m only up to 14.05 on the tnt loop (or how far I’ve jumped out ahead of the tnt loop...), but I honestly can’t get over how perfect s14 is, or just how much it’s paved the way for s15 and the final showdown against Chuck. We’re truly engaged in the final battle for free will.

But in s14, TFW was still figuring out the details, figuring out how to go from being controlled by Michael to taking control of Michael. Yes, Dean had to experience this for himself, going from “drowning” under Michael’s possession to taking control and containing Michael. It took the help of Sam and Cas to do it, though. He couldn’t have done it on his own. Oh, and while they were all dealing with Michael inside Dean’s mind, it also took Jack on the spot to kill the monsters invading the bunker, or TFW wouldn’t have survived the ordeal anyway. They would’ve been slaughtered while their bodies sat at the library table, not even putting up a fight against the physical threat in the room while they were wrapped up in an internal threat in Dean’s psyche.

Dean’s first struggle once Sam and Cas turned up at Rocky’s Bar? Accepting reality, separating out the illusion and discovering what was truly real. Kinda makes Cas’s assertion of “we are” in 15.02 incredibly poignant now. Because in s15, there is no illusion, no nightmare to snap out of with a clearly delineated border between real and unreal. Exactly as he’s been doing forever, Chuck has leveled up the stakes, taken everything at the core of the narrative and metaphorically brought it from subtext to text.

S15 is playing with the same themes, only there’s no more leveling up after this within Chuck’s story, because he’s dropped the pretense, and the only trick left is to understand what Chuck’s story is, and what THEIR OWN stories are.

Who would they be, and what would they choose for themselves if the cosmic interference really did come to an end. What would the world be like if they truly were free? 

And Jack... is at the center of all of it. Chuck needed Jack gone from his story, because Jack is the “cosmic can opener.” On every level-- from character arcs and all of TFW (including Rowena here, because unlike Eileen, she actually has a mirror narrative with Jack, and fandom’s eagerness to just... shove Rowena aside and replace her with Eileen is a particular point of frustration for me here, in case anyone didn’t notice... Like Adam, Eileen’s return has too much “this is a plot device” around it and not enough of “this is true emotional connection with no overarching manipulation” for me to actually trust it yet... there’s no THERE there, and the show isn’t even seemingly attempting to create it... sorry... >.>) and what they’ve learned about themselves from guiding Jack through his entire journey of existence from nephilim to human to soullessness, to the metanarrative level of “controlling the story” the way Chuck can by changing reality itself, to opening portals between worlds.

And right now, as I’m watching 14.07 (and since I know how 14.08 will go as well), with Jack’s first confrontation with the Empty, and Cas’s bargain with the Empty, and everything TFW (yes, AGAIN including Rowena, because this episode will establish her connection to Jack directly) will do to defy death and Death to bring Jack back. They’ll all need to understand the cosmic mechanisms of life and death itself in order to gain the knowledge and understanding to see through Chuck’s final story and free themselves from it.

Heck, I didn’t intend to add this bit, but apparently I am a sucker for punishment, but I need to say this, because apparently it’s too easily forgotten. But SAM is never set up as Rowena’s “son replacement” figure. JACK is. This is her role in JACK’S story. Rowena is set up, throughout 14.07 and later in 14.14 and 14.18, as Sam’s PARTNER in all the ways that Dean and Cas are partnered in parenting Jack. I’ve been hitting myself over the head all season long trying to understand why people failed to see this parallel setup. Why people thought they’d tanked the entire destiel narrative. And I’m wondering if that’s because the people who stopped seeing it... aren’t parents... or perhaps aren’t middle-aged parents of adult children. Because this... is what being in a romantic partnership with a co-parent is like.

You sacrifice a LOT of yourselves and your partnership for your kids. Especially when your kid is... suffering the way Jack has. But if you survive it, if your relationship survives it, coming through the other side of it can bring you so much closer together. And because this is Supernatural, and we’re now in the final season of Supernatural, this sometimes means LITERALLY surviving Death and coming back, having rediscovered what’s truly important.

The direct line Dean has to Michael in 14.07, the connection activated when Rowena says “archangel” and when Sam says “shaman,” is like the Chuck-Lite version of Sam’s s15 connection to Chuck. Cas’s resulting trip to visit Sergei the shaman was entirely arranged by Michael... manipulation and all. Just like Sam’s nearly dying in 15.07 where Sergei again entered the picture and nearly killed Sam... it’s all just another manipulation (that Cas fortunately learned from the last time enough to have leverage this time around).

Rowena on parenthood in 14.07:

Sam: Somebody is sick, all right, but… Listen, I-I don't know how well you got to know our -- our -- our friend Jack with everything that was going on when you were here, but we've sort of been taking care of him, and, uh, he's, um… Lucifer's son. Rowena: Goodbye. Sam: No, no, no. Stop, stop. He's a great kid. His mother was a fantastic human being, a-a-and he wanted nothing to do with Lucifer, w-who is dead, as you know. Rowena: I hope he's rotting. Sam: Yes, but Lucifer stole Jack's grace, so he's powerless now, and -- and something's going on with him, and he might die. Rowena: Oh, splendid! The sooner the better! From what I know of the father, the world will be better off without the son. Jack: You might be right. We're all still figuring that out. I'm Jack. And I know people have a lot of strong feelings about my father, but I'm --I'm trying hard not to be like him. Sam and Dean, they -- they say such nice things about you. Rowena: They do? Jack: You saved all of us -- from Apocalypse World. Rowena: Well, that's true. Jack: So, before you go, I -- I just wanted to say...thank you.

And, boom. She and Sam are co-parenting now. She never again questions or doubts in Jack. That’s all it took to win her over.

and from the same episode, Cas on parenthood (because parallels are nice):

Castiel: If this "Sergei" has anything even remotely useful to offer, I'll call. Sam: Yo, Cas, wait. Are you sure you wanna handle this alone? Cas: I, uh… I feel the need to do something. And I think Dean's right. We can't afford to overlook any possibility. He seems to be taking this particularly hard. Sam: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he -- he, uh, was pretty rough on Jack at the beginning, and...I don't think he's forgotten. And I know he hasn't forgiven himself. You know, he's lost people, we've all lost people, but, um… Cas: This feels different. Losing, um...a son...feels different.

and in turn, it’s always been Jack teaching them what’s truly important, reevaluating what his own definition of “paradise” could be:

Dean: Well, bait and beer. You are a cheap date. This certainly isn't Tahiti. Jack: You once told me you and your father did the exact same thing. It was your happiest memory of him. Dean: I didn't say that. Jack: It was how you said it. I could tell. I guess my point is that… if I don't make it... The stuff I'd miss -- it wouldn't be things like Tahiti. Or the Taj Mahal. I'd miss more time with you. I'm getting that life isn't all these big, amazing moments. It's time together that matters. Like this. Dean: Well, who'd have thought hanging out with me would make you sentimental? Jack: I've had a good life, Dean.

THIS is what’s truly important. THIS is what TFW (yes, including Rowena) has always fought for. THIS is what they deserve at the end of the story.

This is what they’re fighting for in s15.

[ain-t-bovvered]

15x08 Commentary

Bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

@smol-and-grumpy​ (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon​  (Kat)  

@waywardbaby​  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)

Nat : 3

Nat : 2

Nat : 1

Nat : go

Giulia: Ugh so young Kat: Adam was our brother Nat : Sobs  Zee: Babies Kat: The babes Zee: Assbutt Giulia: Assbutt Kat: Hey assbutt lol Giulia: And then he was forgotten forever Kat: Hey my demon Giulia: Fuck off chuck Zee: Future corpses? Giulia: Let’s play are they dead or tired Nat : She definitely is Nat : ah Zee: Strike out future Kat: Omg did he kill all these people? Giulia: Wow Kat: Ffs Chuck Giulia: Wow Giulia: Is that tequila sunrise Nat : Easy on the rum Giulia: Yuck Nat : pf Zee: You don’t want me cranky Nat : WEAK Kat: He is the WORST Zee: What a dick Kat: EILEEN Zee: GO GIIIIIRRRLLL Nat : Still got it, girl Giulia: I fucking swear if they kill her off again Zee: RIGHT IN THE NUTS Nat : Ah Kat: Hell ya Nat : "HEY" Zee: CONFUSED MOOSE Kat: Push him away

Kat: THEY ARE SO CUTE Giulia: Yeah u are Giulia: Snort  Nat : You are Nat : Snorts

Nat : Sam with his salads man Zee: And Eileen with junk food

Giulia: Well Dean looks happy

Kat: BOOM Nat : Boom Zee: Boom Giulia: Boom Nat : Is there an echo in this chat?

Kat: I love when we speak at the same time 

Giulia: Dickdemons Nat : DICKtated Zee: What’s with his enunciation ?? And with his face Giulia: Lot’s of dicks in his mouth Giulia: Wait

S: So, he has an Achilles heel. D: Well, I'm saying he has a weak spot.

Kat: I hate it when they dumb down Dean Giulia: Yeah, not that funny sometimes Zee: That close up!!!! Giulia: MY BABY Zee: And enter cas

Giulia: snort Zee: In all his fed up glory Giulia: DONNY Kat: Aw Donnie

WAIT , I CAN MAKE THIS BETTER

YOU WELCOME

Kat: JEAN SHIRT Zee: JUST TWO LAYERS?? Nat : Ah I feel like Donatello is me Zee: NAKED Giulia: True Giulia: Me Nat : lol

Donny: Oh And, guys, when I go crazy again,

Kat: Just shoot me Kat: Mood Zee: ALLLL THE CHICKEN Giulia: AH

Zee: Stop it Nat : Yeah, definitely me Nat : Only with his favorite

D: Oh, yeah, a real daddy's boy.

Giulia: daddy’s boi Nat : Ah that's the part where they bring in Michael Kat: Ya Giulia: AH Zee: Hi Donnie

Nat : Ah, yeah he cray Zee: Oh fuck Giulia: Cass is me when i explain spn to my friends

Giulia: CHUCK

Kat: CHUCK

Giulia: asshole Nat : Fuck u

G: But this -- Let this one go.

Kat: Hate him so much Giulia: HE BLUFFING Nat : I gO aLL pOwERfUL Kat: Powerful, my ass Zee: God is an asshole

Donny: Really? I have to leave? Oh, that's too bad. I'll, uh -- I'll just get my stuff.

Zee: Run Giulia: LOL Nat : snorts "too bad" Kat: Grabbed the chicken lol Giulia: awe cas is worried Nat : Cas has got no fucking patience left Zee: I get that Kat: None Giulia: UGH Kat: Oof Kat: That tone Giulia: that stare

Giulia: AAAAAAAH Zee: Fandom going crazy Nat : Yeah

Kat: Aw

Nat : I see the fics Giulia: i’m going crazy Nat : that I won't read Kat: Rowena 😭 Giulia: They should stop zooming inf his hands because it does stuff Giulia: AWE Zee: On all their hands

Giulia: They in hell

Zee: Welcome Giulia: Again Nat : Cas knows his way around  Nat : Ladies lol

Zee: Yeah Giulia: Of course Zee: That didn’t go well

Giulia: Wow

Nat : Aw come on

Zee: Are any of us winning? Kat: Nope Giulia: Well they seem more compatible Giulia: Sdbdksbdildbs Giulia: What Kat: ROWENA Kat: OMG Zee: Oh well

Giulia: AAAAAH Nat : ROWENA Giulia: WHAT Nat : WHAT Nat : IS Nat : GOING Nat : ON Giulia: FUCK RIGHT OFF Kat: LOOK AT MY GIRL Nat : Of course she'd rule. WHAT ELSE DID WE EXPECT Zee: No one hands you anything darling Giulia: YAS GURL BAD ASS WITCH BITCH Nat : I AM SO HAPPY Giulia: YES, MAKE UP ON POINT Zee: Of course Kat: HAIR ON POINT Kat: DRESS ON POINT Nat : SHE'S QUEEN OF HELL, SHE'S ALLOWED Giulia: she deserve it

R: Did you not hear the man? [ Screaming ] Find him!

Zee: YAS

Nat : AH Giulia: AHAHAHAH Nat : SNORTS Giulia: LOVE HER

Kat: THAT WINK Giulia: LOVE Nat : AW So if the boys would go to hell, they'd have good company as Rowena Giulia: Shut up nat Nat : I know Zee: YOU SERIOUS? Nat : Eileen, NO Kat: NO EILEEN Giulia: BAD EILEEN Nat : Yeah, you stay girl Kat: She’s gonna get herself killed

Giulia: LOOK AT HER Zee: That’s a fucking queen Nat : Samuel please

R: Samuel, be a dear.

S: yeah

Giulia: WHAT SHE DESERVE Nat : Sex lol Zee: Amazon doesn’t deliver here, YET Giulia: SHE QUEEN Nat : I'M QUEEN Nat : Yes you are

Giulia: SO AWKWARD Nat : I'm also Queen Giulia: STOP THAT U TWO, I CNNOT

Nat : What am I picking up of you two

Kat: Auntie Rowena

Nat : FIIIINE

Giulia: IM CRYING Nat : IT'S FIIIIIINNEEEEE Giulia: FIX IT Nat : FIX IT Nat : Aw Zee: SLAP THEM QUEEN

Giulia: FIIIIIIX IT

Nat : She' the mom Giulia: THANK YOU MOM ROWEENA

R: Making Napoleon so short was just bitchy. Telling Mick Jagger he had no future when I dumped him.

Kat: I love her infinitely Nat : Ah Giulia: ROWENA IS MY MOM

Nat : There he is

Zee: HE BE HUNGRY Giulia: i don t even remember this mich universe Kat: Wow Giulia: I don’t know much Giulia: Sure u don t Zee: Now I’m hungry Nat : Ok but I'm hungry Kat: He hungry Kat: Me too Giulia: WHAT HE DOING ON THAT PIZZA WTF *Eye twitching in italian* Nat : Maybe pepper Zee: Family sucks Kat: He’s been in hell, give him a break Nat : I hope it's peppers Nat : My god. Donatello is mood Giulia: IT S TIME Kat: For what Giulia: KITCHEN TALK

Zee: That’s adorable Kat: That’s adorable Giulia: but first Eileen talks Giulia: Awe Stop it you two Zee: The way he says “thing” Fuck him

Zee: She’s hot Giulia: SHE GETS IT Kat: My heart Giulia: OF COURSE SHE DOES. I COULD GET IT TOO

editing Giuls: ..... what she said Kat: Stop it

Nat : You could do worse Giulia: AH so much better Zee: Brothers Giulia: STOP MY HEART Kat: 😭😭😭 Giulia: awe shucks Next time then Kat: I miss brother talks Zee: Yeah Kat: Ugh Zee: Oh no Giulia: AH HER AGAIN Nat : Ugh ee: Not her again Giulia: She’s snazzy tho, I kinda like her Zee: The ikea yellow again Giulia: Not her wardrobe tho. The berret can stay Nat : It's so weird. Michael was so fucking powerful when he possessed Dean and now he lets himself being commanded around Giulia: Well I guess being in the same body with that wuss does things to you Kat: Different Michael personalities I guess

*Lilith gets roasted* Nat : Ah Giulia: There. U happy? Zee: You were saying Giulia: Wow Giulia: Ok Giulia: Bye lillith Giulia: And again Nat : I miss the suits tho Giulia: Guess he’s just depressed Nat : They could have dressed up Adam Giulia: The peaky blinders feel Nat : Snorts Donnie Giulia: NOW IT S TIME Kat: Donnie is a mood again

Giulia: ME Nat : Ah pour me some bourbon too Zee: I need burbon Giulia: not yet Zee: I wanna live in the bunker Giulia: Castiel bb Kat: Unpleasant lol

ME :

Giulia: Why i love when cas haS these scenes tho Nat : Your father is not who you knew. Kat: You love Cas? Giulia: * Will Smith pose * a babe Zee: He should stop with that face Giulia: I know Giulia: THAT TINY MICHEAL Zee: You called me assbutt and set me on fire

Editing Giuls: .....I’M-

Zee: I didn’t come to beg Giulia: Oh I didn t come to beg Kat: I didn’t come to beg Giulia: BITCH I GREW Zee: You grew ?

LOOK AT THESE TWO MODELING SONS OF BITCHES MY GOD

Giulia: STOP WITH THE HANDCUFFS Giulia: zee I swear Kat: YES ANOTHER CUFFS SCENE

Nat : Dean always holds the cuffs , they know Giulia: I can already see all the fics Zee: I’m gonna read Nat : Sames Kat: Right? He doesn’t need to run it in

M: Sam. You look well. Last time I saw you in the Cage... S: Yeah, it doesn't matter.

Sammy has no time for your bullshit Michael.

M: You're asking me to trust you -- you, who doomed me, you, who let Lucifer walk free while your own brother sat in hell.

Giulia: Lol micheal telling how it is Kat: Sames Giulia: SNORT Giulia: OH awkward Nat : I was right when I said Michael is in Adam and not the inside kinda way Zee: What Zee: The Zee: Fuck Nat : Michael lets you talk? lol Giulia: Dean and his Micheal ptsd Kat: 😭

Giulia: YEAH HOW ABOUT A SORRY Zee: He’s so hurt Giulia: well ....wow ok good acting Zee: Paradise is boring Kat: He really is a daddy’s boy Giulia: He looks a bit loony too Zee: A million years in hell do that to a person Giulia: Those books irk me Nat : Adam tries to talk sense into Michael Nat : I'm here for it Giulia: Mid eternity crisis Zee: Mid eternity crisis Giulia: Me Kat: Of course Nat : Parents keep secrets. Do we? Giulia: Ok but i love the different acting. He’s real good Zee: He is Giulia: U ALL DO Giulia: STOP EILEEN Nat : Eileen you stay put Kat: EILEEN NO Nat : She's gonna get killed Zee: Is that a trap ? Nat : I think it's a trap Nat : could be Giulia: AWE CUTE Nat : ah no Giulia: NOW IT S GONNA BE TIME SOON Kat: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

C: You know, Michael, I never really liked you. Even when I was just another angel, I thought you were too haughty, too...To paraphrase a friend, you had an entire oak tree shoved up your ass.

Nat : snorts Giulia: ENTIRE OAK TREE SHOVED UP YOUR ASS Zee: Shoved up your ass Nat : that would hurt

C: I'm looking at you, and I...I just pity you.  Because you were never God's favorite. You were just a little part of his story, a tiny part of his story.  You weren't even a star. You weren't even a star. At least Lucifer knew that God can't be trusted. But I guess he was always the smart one.

Nat : Cas, you should have seen that coming Nat : What he said Giulia: NICE CAS Zee: Jack Zee: He’s gonna pop Giulia: I DIDN T NEED THAT AGAIN Nat : so many dirty things in my head

Giulia: FINALLY Nat : Ah this scene Zee: Yes Giulia: I WAS WAITING FOR THIS

Zee: They’re not even looking at each other

Giulia: LEAVE Giulia: GET OUT Giulia: I WANT U DED Giulia: LOL IT S FINE  IT S FIIIIIIINE Zee: We didn’t bond Giulia: IM FINE Nat : Finally Giulia: how to call people in extra Zee: God lied to me Kat: NONONONONONONONONONONO Nat : Wouldn't u do that Kat: Wait am I ahead Nat : Yes Giulia: Of course I would are you even question that Zee: Don’t like this Kat: FUCKING HELL Nat : half the house is falling apart whenever you call someone in Nat : lol Giulia: I DON T LIKE THIS Giulia: THE FUCK Nat : Ah IT WAS A TRAP Giulia: STOP Zee: Knew it Nat : UGH Kat: DAMN IT CHUCK Giulia: AW COME ON Kat: I HATE HIM Giulia: IM FEAR Giulia: thank you micheal Nat : HE WILL HELP THEM Nat : Do we trust him Giulia: NO WE DON T

M: And, to bind the spell together, the nectar from a Leviathan blossom. Giulia: WHET Nat : A what Kat: ONG NOT THE DAMN LEVIATHANS Giulia: OH Nat : Purgatory? Giulia: PURGATORY OF COURSE Zee: Fuck no Kat: PURGATORY DEAN PLEASE YES PLEASE I NEED Nat : NO Nat : DO WE TRUST HIM Giulia: OH ARE WE GETTING PURGATORY BONDING TAKE 2?

Editing future Giuls: YEAH , YEAH WE DID GET IT, IT WAS AMAZING

Zee: This will rip my heart Giulia: This michael is so depressed Kat: So our Michael can just make doors out of thin air? Giulia: Apparently

D: Adam, I want you to know... we are sorry. What happened to you... You're a good man. You didn't deserve that.

Zee: DEAN SHUT UP

Giulia: THANK YOU DEAN Nat : Michel can apparently do more than we thought Giulia: True

A: Since when do we get what we deserve?

Zee: ADAM SHUT UP Nat : No, Adam stay. I want him to stay Giulia: IM FEAR Nat : So Two guys in Purgatory will Cas want to come back tho Nat : Alright Promo Giulia: PROMO TIME Nat : Ugh I think they'll be trapped in Purgatory longer than the 12hours Kat: Oi hey Giulia: HOLD ON Zee: The fuck?

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[drsilverfish]

Mary is Watching Over You... from a Mirror Universe? (14x20 Moriah)

Whew, well that was intense! Just catching up, and still cogitating on the thread of Mary Winchester’s narrative.

Mary told Dean, in the womb, “Angels are watching over you” (5x13 The Song Remains the Same) and she told Cas, in the flashback we see of them together in 4x18 Absence (speaking of her sons) “They were never alone” (because Cas was watching over them).

Now Mary herself, symbolically, watches over the tableau, of Abraham and Isaac redux. 

That statue of Mary/ The Mother, is shot so carefully as a presence throughout the sacrifice scene.

Watching over Jack and his adopted angel father Castiel, as Jack says he has tried to do good, since Mary:

Watching over Jack as he offers himself as the scapegoat, as he describes himself as a monster:

Watching over Dean as he prepares, in the role of Abraham, to sacrifice his son Isaac to God (because God demands it) while an angel of the Lord (Cas) tries desperately to stay his hand:

Until finally, Dean says, “No” to the Father. Even when Chuck offers to bring Mary back, if Dean will obey him.

At last, Dean says “No” to the great Father figure in the sky, who symbolises, of course, his own father.

And don’t you think, just for a second, Chuck looks really happy about it?

DEAN: “My Mom was my hero, and I miss her, and I will miss her every second of my life but she would not want this.”

Notice that the weapon Chuck forged, he wanted to call Hammurabi:

That is an ancient Babylonian code of law from Mesopotamia which sets out a code of punishment; “an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth”:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Code_of_Hammurabi

In other words, symbolically, God handed Dean a weapon of revenge. 

And Dean passed the test, at the last. He did not take it.

Because it was a test. Chuck claims, “No, no, this isn’t how the the story is supposed to end. Look at the gathering storm, the gun, the father killing his own son. This is Abraham and Isaac, this is epic!“ 

But, writers lie. And we know, in the Bible, God was testing Abraham, and Abraham did not, in fact, kill Isaac. 

Dean chose free will. And hasn’t free will always been Chuck’s greatest creation?

Dean put down the Father’s revenge weapon. He did not kill the yellow-eyed supernatural being who killed (or did he?) his Mom. He rejected, at last, his father’s legacy, his father’s word, watched over by a statue of Mary. 

It was the culmination Dean’s long struggle with the Ghost of John Winchester.

But, I digress: because this post is about Mary. 

There’s something about Mary...

I still think Mary is not dead and we will see her again.

Firstly, because of this:

I’ve said since 14x17 Game Night I think Jack (unbeknownst to him) actually blasted Mary through a portal into another universe rather than killing her. 

And didn’t the episode make a point of reminding us that Supernatural is a multi-verse? Particularly in Sam and Chuck’s conversation,  over the archangel blade the Winchesters have at the bunker, which they got, “from another world” (Chekov’s archangel blade! Let’s park that - I have a feeling we’ll come back to it before the show ends):

SAM: “So, how many are there? How many other worlds, or universes or realities or whatever?”

CHUCK: “I don’t know, I kinda lost count. Most of them are boring; one’s in reverse, in one there’s no yellow, one of them’s just all squirrels.” 

So, firstly the mirror universe/ multiverse is hammered home, visually and narratively.

And secondly, my other clue, is that what happened to Mary (which, remember, we never saw, in either 14x17 or 14x18) is “re-staged”, between Jack and his grandmother, the mother of Kelly Kline. Jack gets upset with her, his eyes glow yellow, just as they did when he apparently “killed” Mary.

And then 14x20 teases us with what happened! We don’t get the sequence all at once. 

“What did you do to my daughter, what did you do?” she screams, then SCENE-CUT.

We only discover the outcome when Jack re-tells the story to Castiel in the graveyard. And then we learn, Jack did not harm his grandmother, although she was yelling at him:

 He ran. And look at that shot we get, of Jack looking back through the door:

Symbolic of a door to oh say, a mirror universe?

A woman yelling at Jack, his eyes going yellow, but, not a death - a doorway. 

So I say again, what if Mary has only been fake re-fridged?

 Long live Mary Winchester!

I have a feeling we will meet again before The End. 

[foxymuses]

do it! share the spn opinions!

aight, but i aint gonna go super into detail here, okay, and i’m putting it under a cut just so people who don’t want to SEE THE SALT can avoid it, so this is your LAST WARNING don’t read further if you’re easily offended/have strong feelings about spn. also, i say it several times, but it should be enforced here that just because i dislike a character on the show does not mean i dislike someone’s portrayal. oftentimes, the tumblr rp world writes characters better than shows do and it redeems these characters in my eyes, so. keep that in mind

i can’t stand sam at all. i think he’s a whiny bitch baby and he gets far too much love in the show. i prefer the later seasons when dean becomes the plot focus. this isn’t because i like dean better (but i do), it’s honestly just so... like sam’s writing is so off putting and it grinds me. i usually skip episodes that are sam focused, and i very much can’t stand most of s3 and s4. i also don’t like soulless sam at all *** i usually adore sam rpers. this isn’t to say i hate the character. i hate the way he’s written in the show, but how tumblr people write him is the Right way and i love them for it

i Strongly Disliked s6 and s12. i can’t even tell you what happened in these seasons aside from a vague recollection. s8 is also a bit of a fog, but that’s mostly because s9 is when i started watching the show on tv so i sort of skipped through s8 to be ready for the premiere.

i will forever be salty that they did dean dirty at the end of s5. having him go to say yes then essentially being all ‘jk sam asked me not to so i wont’ will forever irritate me. like. they were all ‘no dean, you can’t say yes to michael’ and ready to lock him up for it, but then literally like an episode later were like ‘nah it’s cool if sam says yes though, whatever’

sort of following that, i really hate that sam is oftentimes implied to be the ‘stronger’ or ‘nicer’ brother. i think he’s a huge hypocrite and like. he causes so many problems, and he’s so mean to dean a lot of the time? but dean would do anything for him? that’s annoying

i did not like mary being brought back at all. that was random and made super little sense to the overall plot, and i did not like how she was written

i also don’t like jack. he seemed a kind of... mmm there’s a word for it. but like the writers seemed to just throw him in for the sake of a plot line, and he’s annoying and i don’t like how OP he is. again, most jack writers are better, but within the show realm, he annoys me to no end, as does the immediate like... love for him that everyone but dean has, and the pushy insistence that everyone shoves at dean to like jack as if he’s not the spawn of the devil

i dont even think this is controversial, but how they handled demon dean was Disappointing, and great part of the reason i stopped watching in s10 and didn’t catch up until i learned dean got possessed by michael FINALLY. but that disappointed me too, so. here we are, living on my blog with my own rules about the possessions and shit

can we talk about how dean’s ptsd is never addressed at all. 

uh, john was an abusive asshole. no forgiveness here. there’s no excuses ‘he was a drunk, he missed his wife, he wanted dean to survive’ no, he was an abusive asshole that royally fucked dean up for good, and i will have none of the john apologist bullshit here, thanks. bobby was more a father to dean than john ever would’ve been

don’t really care for the claire arc all that much. i like her with jody, and i like jody’s little family with alex too, but the arc for claire is just.. really odd

donna is incredibly annoying. i’ll keep saying it, but tumblr writers do her so much better. show donna just. ugh.

i wrote a post about it once, but the episode i Hate the most is on the head of a pin, and i won’t super go into detail, but that whole episode is s shit show and i Do Not acknowledge it happened, thanks

I THINK THERE’S MORE BUT I’M BLANKING

the samulet and handprint both still exist, thanks. there’s a post about it somewhere on one of my blogs that i should bring out again

can we stop treating dean as either an angry fisticuffs player or an overall childish goofball? he has more to him than that

i’m still bitter over the ruby arc, honestly. it annoyed me in all the wrong ways. we can just assume that i’m fine with ruby writers at this point, nothing i say in this list pertains to writers on tumblr, just the show

the god is chuck thing is fine, but the whole direction the show took with it after amara is just fucking bananas. i mean sure, what else could they end on other than a fight against god, but still. fucking bananas. lets go back to the days of ‘maybe chuck is god’ in like s5, yknow?

um can dean and cas just kiss now? or how about like several seasons ago, but starting in like s11, even though i adore cas a lot, he started to get a little irritating. again, show writing, not tumblr writing. but he kinda started to become like... high and mighty and it does not mesh well with things, i think

ben is dean’s son, i dont care what you say.

um im trying to go through the seasons in my head to remember things that annoy me and are controversial, and aren’t just things that spn needs to fix, like andy’s death (still bitter)

what was that crowley and blood addiction shit that happened in like s10 or something? what was that supposed to be? was that supposed to mean something i am so confused

um are the ghostfacers even still alive, like this isn’t salt, i’m just genuinely concerned because if they are, why aren’t they in more episodes please

yo, maybe because i write pride and chronos and whatever, but the treatment of non-chrisitan deities is absolute Shit, thanks. like i get that the show is going for the christian religion is the Main thing, because most people get it, but like. as someone genuinely interested in religion, the utter disdain for other religious entities or even the idea that all demons are bad demons simply because demons is ridiculous. show some love to other entities. like for fuck’s sake, you can’t just kill the god of time? what the fuck? some of these gods were around long before any recorded history of the christian god, so i guarantee you at least half of them could kick god’s butt and call it a day.

s9 mark of cain dean was the best, that’s the end of that argument

wtf with the gabe storyline what even, gabe deserved better

imma go so far as to say lucifer did too, that was a bunch of nonsense. all of it that happened after s5, it’s all bullshit

actually the only angel that deserved what they god was metatron, thanks, the asshole. 

also can we talk about death, like. dont get me wrong billie is cool, but i want my original pizza-loving death back please, he and dean had a cool thing going on. also tessa, can we bring back tessa

honestly rowena annoyed me in the beginning. she grew on me, but i feel like a lot of her character was forced. 

the dean and pie thing has gone a little too far at this point

*claps* i *claps* don’t *claps* like *claps* sam! literally half the things in this post are me dancing around this idea, but most of my salt for the show stems from my dislike of him. 

idek the general opinion on this, but i did Not like the crazy cas & meg situation. like all of that. it was weird. i mean i didn’t even really like meg, to be honest. but that whole arc was fucking weird, and that relationship (one kiss?) felt super forced.

actually can we stop having cas just. fucking switch personalities all the time? s4 cas was the best.

dean does Not put sam above everyone else. he will try to save sam, yes, but sam is not the most important person to dean, and dean will not choose sam above cas or bobby or charlie or jody or literally anyone.

IM RUNNING OUT OF THOUGHTS BUT I KNOW I HAVE MORE so. we’ll come back to this.

[canyouimaginethatstory]

Rebel Angels Fic Series Announcement, Cover reveals, and Teasers!

Rebel Angels is a fic series based around the three angels of Supernatural that mean the world to me. Castiel, Lucifer, and Gabriel. The backstories and storylines of these three angels break my heart. 

Castiel thought he was following his father's orders only to find out he wasn’t and that his “father” didn’t care. So he rebelled. Chose two humans over his heavenly home. He made the right choice in my book. 

Lucifer, this one breaks my heart most. He was the angel of light and he loved his father more than anything. Was suppose to be his father’s favorite. But what father, not only corrupts his son with a mark to lock away his sister, but once he refuses to love something more than his father he’s forced out, and his father makes the sibling Lucifer loved most do it. Than Chuck makes him thank maybe they could start over only to abandon him AGAIN! Then he has a chance to be a father himself and I am convinced without a doubt Chuck wouldn’t let that happen because Lucifer would have been a better father than Chuck. You could see the love for Jack he had in his eyes the minute he laid eyes on him. Hell, the minute he heard his son’s name. That should have been his redemption point. 

Gabriel, all he wanted was for his big brothers to stop fighting. It was too much for him to bare so he left which made him a rebel angel in his own way. Then when he tricked Lucifer into thinking he killed him, he was betrayed by those damn gods and sold to a prince of hell. He did die a hero, but he should’ve had to die at all. 

AUTHOR NOTE: OK so this series is AU in a few ways, but nothing too big. Castiel isn’t in that deal with the shadow. 

Chuck isn’t a monster (other than his bad parenting stuff).

Jack, Lucifer, and Gabriel are alive.

I think that’s about it. Also, this story series is still in the writing stage. 

WARNINGS: This series will deal with some trigger warnings. Mentions about sexual, physical, and emotional abuse mainly. Some violence. Insecurity issues. 

THE STORIES

There are three books in this fic series. Each angel mentioned above has their own fic. I will post the title of the fic, the cover, and all the teasers I have for each fic. 

Fic #1: Her Blue Eyed Angel

SUMMARY: Castiel goes on a coffee run for his brothers. What happens when he hears the desperate prayers of a girl there. When he answers this prayer for help little did he know it would change things in an amazing way for him. 

TEASERS:

"Is something wrong?" Castiel asked. 

"Castiel I," she started trying to fight the panic attack she felt building up. 

"Yes?" Castiel asked. 

"Castiel I love you," she finally blurted out. Castiel just stood there for a minute. He wasn't sure what to say. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything," she turned to leave, but Castiel gently grabbed her hand.

--------------------

The boys and Cas Met at a diner after a ghost hunt. "Dean where is Lya?" Cas asked. 

"She's back at the hotel," Sam answered. 

"Was she not hungry?" He asked confused. 

"Cas, don't freak out," Dean said, "but she kinda got hurt,". 

"What do you mean she got hurt, Dean?". Cas asked worried and a bit angry. 

"She sprained her ankle," he said. As he turned to Cas he was already gone. "What's his problem?". 

"Dean, can't you tell?" Sam asked as Dean gave him a confused look, "he's in love with her,". Cas appeared in her room and spotted Lya on her bed. She was asleep. He saw her foot. It was turning dark purple. He could see her shivering from pain and being cold. He gently touched her foot and soon it was normal color again and her shivering died down as the pain went away. He covered her up and just stared at her for a moment. He had answered this beautiful human's prayers and had somehow fallen for her. He brushed a strain of her dark brown hair from her face. He leaned down and gently kissed her cheek. He smiled when he saw a soft smile appear on her face.

--------------------

Castiel sat in the bunker map room with Sam and Dean. "You ok Cas?" Dean asked. 

"I'm confused Dean," he admitted. 

"About Lya?" Sam asked. 

"Yes," Cas said looking down at the floor, "she makes feel things I have never felt. Not even when I was human,". 

"Talk it out Cas," Dean said. 

"I can't stop thinking of her. I smile whenever she's in the room. I find myself checking on her through the night while she sleeps. When she talks I can't stop listening. It's like her green eyes enchant me. When she compliments me my cheeks start to flush," he rambled on. 

"Cas can angels fall in love?" Sam asked. 

"I suppose if two angels matched, but I've never heard of any angel couples," he explained. 

"Ok, but can they fall in love with humans?" He asked. 

"There have been stories of it happening," Castiel said, "why do you ask?". 

"Thank about it Cas," Dean said. Castiel gave him a confused look before it dawned on him. He was in love with a beautiful green-eyed human.

--------------------

"I love this song," she said as she turned the radio up a bit, "It's a good slow dance song,". 

"I don't know how to dance," Castiel admitted. She smiled and held out her hand. 

"I can show you," she said.

 "Oh um that's ok," Castiel said feeling somehow nervous, but she gently grabbed his hand. 

"Please Castiel?" She asked. Her green eyes seem to sparkle. Castiel noticed that happened when she was happy and he found himself wanting to make sure she was happy as much as possible. He nodded and stood up. 

"What do I do?" He asked.

"Just put your arms around my waist," she said as she helped him, "and I'll put my arms around your neck and we just move to the music,". Castiel was a bit off rhythm at first, but soon he got the hang of it. Before too long her head was resting on his shoulder as they danced. Castiel smiled and hoped the song didn't end for a while.

--------------------

Castiel sat in the empty hospital waiting room. Dean walked in and sat beside him. "Cas, what are you doing?" He asked. 

"I can't Dean," he said, "I can't trust myself around her anymore,".

 "Cas, it was an accident," Dean said, "you didn't mean to hurt her,". 

"But I did Dean," the angel said looking up at his brother with tears in his eyes, "I didn't aim right and I hit her. I'm the reason she's in here,". 

"Cas, back there against those demons yes you hit her with your powers accidentally, but you not seeing her now is hurting her more," Dean explained, "when you refused to come in her room and walked away she teared up,". 

"I don't wanna hurt her again Dean," Castiel said wiping the tears from his eyes, "I love her," 

"I know Cas and she loves you too that's why she forgave you the minute it happened," Dean said, "go see her Cas,".

--------------------

"I trust you with my life Castiel," she said, "I hope you trust me too,". 

"I do trust you Lya," he said standing up, "there's one way an angel shows trust," she heard loud thunder and saw bright flashes of light for a moment. When her eyes adjusted she gasped. Castiel had shown her his wings. They were sheer and black. 

"They're beautiful," she said, " would it be ok to touch one?". Castiel nodded as his wings went from sheer to solid. She softly and very carefully placed her hand on one of the feathers. It was soft and fluffy. She noticed Castiel smile and blush a bit. "Is this bothering you?" She asked not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable. 

"It's fine," he said, "Our wings are sensitive and when touched it can make us feel like a human would if kissed or touched in a loving way,". She smiled and hugged him. She soon felt his soft wings wrap around her.

--------------------

Cas was hanging around the bunker Library. It's usually what he did when everyone else was asleep. He was reading a book about vampire hunting when he heard Lya scream. He popped into her room to find her sitting on her bed hugging her legs to herself. She was crying. “Lya, what's wrong?” he asked sitting beside her. She instantly hugged him. He tensed at first, but relaxed and hugged her back. He held her until she calmed down. 

“Are you ok?” he asked. She finally calmed down enough and broke the hug. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, “it was just a really bad nightmare,”. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Cas asked. He hadn’t known her very long, but he felt an urge to protect her.

 “I’m fine Castiel,” she said, “sorry I worried you,”. 

“You don’t have to be sorry,” he said, “Try to sleep again. I’ll sit with you until you have fallen asleep,”. She nodded and laid back down. She wasn’t sure why, but she felt calmer and more relaxed around the angel that had actually answered her prayer. She couldn’t explain it, but just looking into his piercing blue eyes comforted her. Castiel sat beside her until he knew she was fast asleep. He knew a way to make sure she could sleep peacefully. He gently pressed his lips to her forehead. Her face glew golden for a moment.

 “Sleep well Lya,”. Castiel spent the rest of the night reading his book outside her bedroom door just in case she woke up again.

--------------------

Lya sat snuggled up on Castiel’s lap in a big comfy chair. She was wrapped in a soft fuzzy cover. They were reading a book together. Castiel noticed her staring at him. “Why are you staring at me?” he asked. 

“Sorry,” she said, “I was just wondering about you,”. 

“What do you mean?” he asked. 

“Your past, stuff like that,” she said, “but I won’t be nosy,”. 

“If you want to know, I’ll tell you but,” he said suddenly breaking eye contact with her and looking away. 

“What is it Castiel?” she asked as she ran her hand through his soft, black hair. The feeling made him feel a little calmer. 

“I have done things and been things I’m not proud of,” Castiel said looking at her, “I’m afraid some of it will make you fear me or hate me,”. 

“No judgment I swear,” she said. So Castiel told her everything from when he first met the boys he now considers his family up to when he met his son Jack. 

“That’s everything,” he said looking down, “do you hate me?”. She gently cupped his cheek in her hand and made him look at her. She leaned in and gave him a soft kiss. 

“No I don't hate you Castiel,” she smiled, “you’ve had a hard road, but its made you the amazing angel you were meant to be and I love him very much,”.

--------------------

“Come on Cas,” Dean called from the other side of the bathroom door, “let's see how you look,”. Castiel walked out and instead of his usual suit and trench coat he was wearing a nice pair of black pants, a white collar shirt with a dark blue and gold striped tie, and a black jacket. Dean nodded, “not bad, but here,” he said rolling the sleeves of the jacket and shirt up a bit. 

“I don't look, silly Dean?” The nervous angel asked. 

“No, she’ll love it,”. Dean assured him. Castiel had finally gotten the nerve up to ask Lya out after learning she had feelings for him. 

“I hope so,” Castiel said, “I want her to be happy on our date,”. 

“Really like her don’t you?” Sam asked. Castiel nodded.

“I love her Sam,” Castiel said. 

“Well, all you need now is some cologne,” Dean said walking into the bathroom. He came back out with a small blue bottle. He sprayed the angel with it twice. 

“Why do I need to wear cologne?” Castiel asked confused. 

“Well, to smell nice on your date and when she smells it from now on she’ll think of you,” he explained. 

“So is this the date?” Sam asked. Castiel looked confused again.

“What do you mean?” he asked. 

“Are you gonna ask Lya to be your girlfriend?” Sam asked. 

“Yes,” Castiel said, “I hope she says yes,”. 

“Well go get her tiger,” Dean said.

--------------------

Cas walked Lya back to her room when they got back to the bunker from their date. “Castiel,” she said grabbing his hand, “Tonight was amazing. I haven’t felt this special ever,”. 

“You are very special Lya,” he said. He gently put his hand on the side of her neck and softly pushed her against her bedroom door. She smiled as he softly placed his lips on her’s. She ran her hand through his hair as she deepened the kiss. When he pulled away she gave him a hug. She opened her door, but before she walked in Castiel grabbed her gently by her waist and gave her another soft kiss as she giggled.

“Goodnight, my handsome, blue-eyed angel,” she said. 

“Good night my beautiful green-eyed girl,” he said back and she smiled at the big smile and small blush on his cheeks he tried to hide by looking away as she closed the door. 

“Well,” Dean said standing in the hall, “good date I take it?”. 

“It was an amazing date,” he said. 

“Well come into the library and tell us about it,” Sam said.

--------------------

 Lya studied herself in the mirror. Butterflies were swarming in her stomach. Castiel had asked her on a date. She had to bite her tongue to keep herself from leaping up and screaming yes. She was wearing a long dress that stopped just above her feet. It was black with white flowers on it. It had a slit that ended right above her thigh and she wore black heels. Her dark brown hair flowed past her shoulders in thick curled locks. She was applying some clear vanilla lipgloss as there was a knock on the door. “Be right there!” she called. She sprayed on a few squirts of rose scented body spray and looked herself over one more time. Hoping she would impress the angel that stole her heart.

--------------------

Lya just sat there holding back tears as Castiel just glared from across the room. “So you’re not speaking to me now?” she asked. 

“It was a very foolish thing you did Lya,” Castiel said, “you could have been hurt,”. 

“I didn’t have a choice,” she stated. 

“You should have stayed here,” Castiel raised his voice a little, “where it's safe,”. 

“I thought they hurt you Castiel!,” she argued back, “I couldn’t just sit here and hope you’d be ok!” tears threatened to fall from her eyes as she looked away. Upon seeing her tears Castiel’s mood softened a little. He walked to her and took her hands helping her stand up and embraced her in a hug. 

“My apologies Lya,” he said, “I didn’t mean to be harsh. I was scared of you getting hurt,”. 

“I was scared of you being hurt to Castiel,” she sniffed. He pulled her away far enough to wipe the tears from her eyes and gave her a soft kiss. “I love you,” she said looking up at him.

“I love you too,” he said as he just held her for a while and ran his hand through her hair.

--------------------

“Hey guys,” Lya said walking into the library, “would you guys mind if I made Thanksgiving dinner?”. 

“Really?” Sam asked.

“That's a lot of work Lya, plus the cleanup,” Dean said, “I don’t know,”. 

“Not even if I made my secret chocolate apple pie?” she said and Dean looked up at her. 

“Chocolate apple pie?” he asked. She nodded. 

“My own recipe,” she said. 

“Hell I’m game,” Dean said, “sure,” Lya smiled and headed off to the kitchen to make a grocery list.

--------------------

They arrived at the hotel in the town the boys were hunting a vampire in. Lya got her room and hurried there. As she was looking through her bag she heard the familiar flap of wings and then a strong pair of arms wrap around her. She smiled. 

“Hello Lya,” Castiel greeted kissing her cheek. 

“Hi handsome,” she said turning around and giving him a soft kiss. 

“How are you?” he asked. 

“I’m good,” she said, “I was thinking of going to the pool if you wanna join,” 

“I don’t know how to swim,” he answered. 

“Ok, how about the jacuzzi then?” she suggested. He made that adorable face he always made when he didn’t understand something. 

“What's that?” he asked.

“It's like a small pool that heats up,” she explained, “can be really relaxing,”. 

“Ok, but I don’t have a swimsuit,” Castiel said. 

“Maybe Sam or Dean can lend you a pair of swim trunks,” she said. He nodded and zapped off to go ask as she grabbed her bathing suit and went to change. When she got to the Jacuzzi Castiel fluttered in. He was wearing a black pair of swimming trunks. Lya wasn’t sure if it was bad to check out an angel, but she couldn’t help but notice Castiel’s body. He was gorgeous. 

Castiel stood there frightened. He didn’t wanna stare at Lya and make her feel uncomfortable, but he couldn't help but admire her. She looked very alluring in the white two-piece swimming suit she had on. She climbed into the jacuzzi and sighed relaxing at the warmth. Castiel climbed in too and sit beside her. She scooted a little closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder. “Perfect way to relax,” she said closing her eyes. Castiel smiled and kissed the top of her head.

“I agree,” he said.

--------------------

Cas was headed to the bunker map room when he passed Lya’s room. He heard her talking to someone. “Erica, I’m fine,” she said, “these guys are actually pretty cool,”. 

“Wow, are they hot?” he heard a voice say over the phone. He knew eavesdropping was wrong, but he couldn’t help but listen. 

She giggled, “Well Dean seems like your type now and Sam was my type in high school. And Castiel,” she stopped. 

“Castiel?” she asked.

“Erica, he’s perfect,” she said. This took the angel by surprise.

“Really?” her friend asked. 

“He’s sweet, caring,” she continued, “so adorable. You could say he’s a truly angelic guy,”. Castiel could feel his cheeks get warmer with each compliment and couldn’t help, but smile. 

“Is someone smitten?” her friend teased. 

Lya sighed,”I am, but there’s no way he could be interested in me. I couldn’t get that lucky,”. This confused Castiel. Why would this beautiful woman think he couldn’t be interested in her?

“Have you told him how you feel?” Erica asked. 

“No, I mean why embarrass myself,” she said, “but Erica trust me if I thought I had a chance. He saved me and I fell for him, but I don’t think he feels the same way,”. Castiel did feel the same way, he just didn’t know how to tell her.

--------------------

Lya had convinced Castiel to come to one of her favorite places. The local animal shelter. “Why are all these dogs locked in cages?” Castiel asked confused. 

“It’s to protect them I guess,” she said, “sometimes they’re hurt, or sick, or don’t get along with other dogs,”. He noticed her face fall as she reached the last cage. 

“What's the matter Lya?” he asked. In the cage was a female dog with long black fur. 

“This is Lassie,” Lya said, “she’s a Scottish terrier,”. 

“Why are you sad Lya?” He asked. 

“She’s sick,” Lya said, “they don’t know what's wrong with her. She barely eats or drinks and she barely moves around,”. Castiel noticed a tear slide down her cheek. “They may have to put her down,” she said. 

“I’m sorry,” he said as he pulled her into a hug, “is she your dog?”

“No, but I have been coming to see her for the past few months,” she said, “I wanted her, but it wasn’t allowed,”. He noticed the sadness deepen on her face. He hated seeing her so sad. “I’m gonna go to the restroom then maybe you can join me for lunch?”. 

“I would like that,” Castiel said as she hurried off. Castiel looked at the dog and knew what he had to do.

--------------------

Lya was in the kitchen cooking away. It was two days before Thanksgiving and she was working on getting all the sweets done first. She was gathering the ingredients together for homemade banana pudding when Castiel walked in the room. “Hello Lya,” he greeted, “you’ve been busy”. 

“Yeah, I’ve always loved to cook and bake,” she said. 

“I don’t really know how to cook,” the angel said. 

“Not even when you were human?” she asked. He shook his head. “I can teach you,” she offered. 

“You don’t have to go through the trouble,” he said. 

“Please, you could help me cook some stuff,” she pointed out, “we’ll start with something easy,” she said, “would you like to stir the pudding mix for me?”. 

“How do I do that?” he asked with a small little smile. 

“Just take this mixer,” she handed him the electric one, “stick it in the mix and press the button on the top,”. He nodded as she went to work on something else. As soon he turned the mixer on pudding mix went everywhere. Castiel turned it off and looked down at the ground like a child would if they did something wrong. 

“I didn’t mean too,” the angel said sounding sad, “I’m sorry,”. 

“Castiel, it's ok, accidents happen,” she said walking over to him. She giggled as she grabbed a dish towel and wiped the pudding from his face. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t help,” he said. She smiled and kissed him softly. 

“It’s ok, I’ll remake the mix again and this time you can stir with a wooden spoon,” she said, “it’ll be easier,”. 

“You’re not upset?” he asked. She smiled and hugged him. 

“No my handsome blue-eyed angel,” she said, “I’m not upset,”. He smiled and agreed to help again. She mixed another batch of pudding and handed him the spoon to stir it with. She hugged him from behind resting her head on his shoulder and watched. He smiled the whole time he stirred.

--------------------

Castiel stood just outside Lya’s hospital room door. After his talk with Dean, he felt bad for how he acted. Especially since he hurt the feelings of the girl he loved. He walked in but didn’t look up at first. When he did finally glance at her he saw the sadness in her eyes and looked back down in shame. He walked over and pulled a chair to the side of her bed and sit there for a bit. He could feel her eyes on him. He grabbed her hand in both his and gently ran his thumbs up and down the back of her hand. “Lya, I am so sorry,” he started, “I am so sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I hurt you physically back with the demons. I swear I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry for earlier when I walked away. I didn’t mean to hurt you emotionally either. The thought of me being the reason your hurt at all terrifies me,” he admitted. 

“Castiel, look at me,” she said. He slowly did. The sadness and fear she saw in his dark, ocean blue eyes broke her heart, “I’m not mad, I was hurt when you walked away, but I understand. Castiel, I know you didn’t mean and would never mean to hurt me,”, Castiel moved from the chair to sitting next to Lya on the hospital bed.

“Do you forgive me?” the angel asked. The sadness in his voice further broke her heart. 

She sat up and pulled him toward her giving him a soft kiss. 

“Of course I do my handsome blue-eyed angel,” she said. He smiled and leaned in to give her a longer, soft kiss.

--------------------

Lya sat in the Library of the bunker. It was nice and quiet in the room as she lost herself in her latest sketch. She had been working on it since she started realizing her feelings for a certain blue-eyed angel. She knew she was falling for him, but she knew she wasn’t worthy of the love of an actual angel. It sucked if she was honest. Having to act like everything was normal even though all she wanted was to tell him she loved him. Hug him, kiss him, but she couldn’t. 

So she was stuck to drawing the handsome blue-eyed angel as she daydreamed about being the girl lucky enough to be loved by the sweetest angel to ever be created.

--------------------

Lya and Castiel were sitting at the bunker while boys were out getting food. Lya was bored. 

“Are you ok Lya?” Castiel asked. 

“I’m just bored,” she said, “hmm hey Castiel, do you wanna play a game?”. 

“What game?” he asked. 

“I have a deck of cards,” she said, “maybe something like crazy eight?”. He made that adorable confused face. 

“How can the number eight be crazy?” he asked. She giggled. 

“It’s just the name of the game,” she said, “wanna play? I can show you how,”. He nodded. She grabbed the deck of cards from her room and they headed to one of the tables in the library. “Ok see how I threw an eight card down?” he nodded. 

“Since I did that that means I can change the suit,” she said, “so I’m gonna change it to spades,”. 

“What if I don’t have any spades?” he asked. 

“Then you draw cards from the deck until you find one or you get an eight card,” she explained. Castiel drew about four cards before he drew a five of spades and threw it on the discard pile. The game went on like that for a while until Castiel threw down a seven of spades. “Ok, now you threw down the seven of spades right?” she asked and he nodded. “Ok now say I wanna change the suit, but I don’t have an eight,” she started, “but if I have a seven of any other suit I can change it,” she said throwing down a seven of hearts. 

Once Castiel got the hang of it he got pretty good at the game beating Lya several times.

--------------------

Castiel and Dean lurked around the jewelry store. Castiel refused to settle for just any ring. He was determined to pick out the best one. The right one. “I gotta say, man,” Dean said, “I’m surprised you’re doing this?”.

“Why?” Castiel asked. 

“I guess I never gave any thought to an angel settling down,” he said. 

“Years ago when I first came to earth,” Castiel started, “I wouldn’t have ever thought of it either. I was trained as an angel of the lord. A warrior. Feelings are things that I’ve come to learn angels can only discover if they’re on earth for a while. Thanks to experiences and my meeting with you and the others I’ve come to call family I’ve adapted to many emotions. Love the strongest, but the love I feel for you and Sam and Jack and the other hunters and members of our family is very different from the love I feel for Lya,”. 

“I get it,” Dean said, “you not only love her you fell in love with her,”. The angel nodded. 

“We’re happy for you,” Dean said, “we all already think of Lya as family,”. 

“Thank you, Dean,” Castiel said just as he spotted the perfect ring. It was sterling silver and had a heart-shaped sapphire gem that was framed in small diamonds. 

“That's it,” he said, “that's her ring,”.

--------------------

Castiel snapped his fingers and “Thank God I Found You” by Mariah Carey started to play from nowhere. He knew it was her favorite song. She put her hands on his shoulders and he placed his on her hips and they started to slow dance. “You sure know how to make a girl feel special,” she said with a big smile on her face. 

“Out of all the girls on earth Lya, you are the one most special to me,” he said. 

“And out of all the angels in existence Castiel you are the only one special to me,” she said. He smiled and leaned in and gave her a small, soft kiss. He twirled her around and when she came back her back was to him and he wrapped his arms around her. She rested against him and he rested his head against her neck. A small gasp escaping her lips as he brushed his lips against her neck and shoulder. They stayed like that for while swaying to the music. 

“I hope you enjoyed yourself tonight Lya,” Castiel said. 

“Castiel, as long as I’m with you,” she stated, “any date is enjoyable,”. When the chorus of the song came up she sang it to him as she looked into his eyes. 

“Thank god I found you

 I was lost without you

my every wish and every dream somehow became reality 

when you brought the sunlight

completed my whole life 

I’m overwhelmed with gratitude

cause baby I’m so thankful I found you,” 

“You sing beautifully Lya,” he complimented her with a big smile and a light blush on his cheeks. 

“Castiel,” she said, “I love you,” 

“I love you too Lya,” he said as she leaned over and gave him a sweet and passionate kiss as they continued to dance.

--------------------

After they got back to Lya’s room after they relaxed in the jacuzzi. Lya was sitting on her bed still drying herself off. Castiel set beside her. They were still in their swimwear. 

“Did you enjoy the Jacuzzi?” she asked. 

“It was warm,” Castiel said, “but I enjoyed it because I was with you,”. Lya smiled and hugged him. Castiel hugged her back, but she could since he was a little uncomfortable. 

“Castiel, can I talk to you about something?” she asked. 

“Of course,” he said. 

“Do angels,” she started trying to think of the best way to word her question, “sleep together?”. 

“You mean have sex?” he asked trying to understand better. She nodded. 

“We don’t have the desire too,” he explained, “but angels can if they want I guess,”. 

“I know when you were human you had sex,” she said, “but would you be ok if you fell in love with someone who didn’t have the desire for sex?”. 

“What do you mean?” he asked. 

“My whole life while other girls in their teens were fooling around I never really felt the need too,” she explained, “and my ex, the one you saved me from really didn’t take no for answer,”. 

“He forced you into having sex?” Castiel asked. She swore his sapphire eyes got darker for a minute. 

“Yeah,” she answered, “if I did say no it just got worse,”. 

“Lya, do you fear me when I touch you?” he asked. She saw a flash of sadness in his eyes. 

“Castiel, of course not,” she said cupping his cheek in her hand, “you are nothing like that. With you Castiel I feel safe, happy, protected. Like I can be myself. Like its ok to be affectionate and it not have it lead to something sexual,”. 

“I would never make you feel any other way,” Castiel said pulling her into a hug, “I’m perfectly happy with the love we share,”. Lya smiled.

“Me too, but I’ll still take a pizza man kiss every now and then though,” she giggled as he gave her a small smirk and one of those kisses the pizza man taught him.

--------------------

Lya stood in the front of the mirror in the room she and Castiel shared. She was studying the dress she had on. It was long ending just above her feet. The top of it was solid black, but the bottom was black with pinkish-red flowers on it. She wore a pair of black wedges. She had just put her hair up in a fancy bun. It was the fifth time she had changed today. She did that a lot when she nervous. 

“Lya, you look beautiful,” Castiel said walking over and putting his arms around her. She leaned against her angel. 

“I just wanna make a good first impression,” she said, “I want her to like me,”. 

“She’ll come to love you,” he said, “just like I do,”. She smiled and kissed his nose. 

“I must say,” she said, “you look really good in that suit,”. Castiel was dressed in a dark gray suit with a white dress shirt and a blue and white striped tie, “One little fix though,”. She turned around and fixed his tie. 

“I always make sure to have a tie on when I see her,” he said. Lya smiled. 

“Well I happen to agree,” she said, “I think you’re adorable in a tie,”. He smiled and she noticed the little blush on his cheeks. She giggled and kissed his cheek. “Well better get back to everyone before Dean tries to sneak any pie,” she said as they headed back to the kitchen. 

Dean slowly peaked into the kitchen and didn’t see anyone. His eyes instantly locked onto the chocolate apple pie cooling on the counter top. He figured he’d just steal a small bite and no one would notice. Just as he was about to dig in Lya and Castiel walked in. “Dean Winchester, don’t touch the pie!,” Lya ordered. 

“Damn it,” Dean said as Sam walked in with a chuckle followed by Donna and Bobby. 

“Our first two guests have arrived,” Sam said. Dean hugged them and Castiel nodded to them. 

“Donna, Bobby,” he started, “I’d like you to meet my girlfriend Lya,”. 

“It’s nice to meet you both,” she said shaking their hands. Donna looked at everything Lya had made for the Thanksgiving dinner. 

“You’ve been hard at work haven’tcha?” she said. 

“Yes, but all three boys helped at times,” she said. 

“Do you still need help with anything else?” Donna asked. 

“I do need to get the table set up,” Lya said. 

“Me and Bobby will help,” Donna said. Boby gave her a look but didn’t argue as they all grabbed plates and silverware and headed into the dining room. Dean looked over at Castiel. 

“She still nervous?” Dean asked. 

“Yes, but I think it’ll be ok,” Castiel said, “I think they’ll get along,”. Just as they finished setting the table as the rest of the guests showed up. 

“They’re here guys!” Sam called. Castiel noticed a look of worry on her face. He hugged her. 

“It’ll be fine,” he assured her. She smiled and kissed his cheek. He grabbed her hand as they headed into the next room to greet everyone.

-------------------- 

Lya sat on the couch in the bunker's living room. She was as far into the corner of the couch as she could get and kept her eyes on her lap as the three boys talked. “Is she ok?” Sam asked. 

“She’s scared,” Castiel said, “she was abused in many ways by her husband,”.

“I say we visit the son of a bitch and give him a taste of his own medicine,” Dean suggested.

“That's unwise,” Castiel said, “from what she told me the man is trying to kill her,”.

“So we gotta gain her trust so she’ll tell us the whole story,” Sam said.

“She seems more relaxed toward me,” Castiel said, “I’ll tell her the truth,”.

“The truth?” Dean asked.

“About me, you, everything,” Castiel said, “it’ll help the process of her trusting us,”.

“Your move,” Dean said as Castiel walked over to Lya and gently sat down beside her.

“Lya,” he called and she jumped a little, “We need to tell you something so you’ll trust us,”.

--------------------

Castiel sat in the coffee shop and enjoyed a small cup of coffee as he waited for the boy's orders. Just as he finished his coffee he started to hear a voice. He knew instantly it was a prayer. He concentrated on it.

"Please, if anyone can hear me please help me. Please don't let him find me,". Cas looked around and spotted a young woman in a far back corner booth. She was alone and Castiel could feel her emotions straight away. Sadness, fear, and hopelessness. As he walked over to her he noticed she was crying and she had a black eye. She looked up and as soon as he looked into her green eyes he knew he had to help her.

Fic #2: Change of Heart

SUMMARY: Lya Stone had been on her own since she was fifteen when she ran away from her physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive father. She was now twenty-five and worked at a small coffee cafe and lived in a rundown old house. It was warded of course. She wasn’t dumb to the supernatural world out there. She was determined to always be alone. Not even willing to fall in love. Who needs the pain? 

But things get shaken up when a certain archangel who pretty much thinks the same way she does falls into her life. Will they keep their distance or will they both have a change of heart?

TEASERS:

Lucifer looked at her as she was looking out the window. The feelings stirring inside him scared him a bit though he’d never admit it. He knew he was falling for her. Falling for a human. He walked over to her and sit beside her. She looked at him, but not with fear even though she knew who he was. He’d never admit this either, but it was nice not to see fear in their eyes or hate when someone looked at him. 

She gave him a small, warm smile. He scooted closer to her and leaned in gently pulling her to him. She could feel him shaking. She could see a bit of worry in his crystal blue eyes as his lips touched hers. Picking up on the fact that he was worried about scaring her or hurting her she gently touched his arm with her hand as she ran the other one softly through his shaggy blonde hair and kissed back. As she closed her eyes his shaking stopped.

--------------------

“Back there when you helped me with those demons,” Lucifer said, “when you said you understood me, what did you mean?”. She took a big breathe and looked up at him. He spotted a glossiness to her eyes. 

“You were right, still are,” she started, “humans suck. Some of us can be worse monsters than anything else out there,”. 

“What do you mean?” Lucifer asked. He didn’t know how and he didn’t know why, but he could sense a pain so strong from her, it was affecting him. She looked away, but not before he noticed a tear escape down her cheek.

“Growing up, I wasn’t a child to my parents,” she started, “I was property. If they weren’t beating me, they were pimping me out to anyone who would pay enough for their drug habits of course that was only when my father wasn’t using me for his own sick pleasures,” more tears were falling now. Lucifer found himself pacing around the floor, behind the couch she sat on, “I lived in that human hell for fifteen years, before I got a chance to escape, but the trauma still lingers,”. 

“And your parents never looked for you?” he asked. 

“No, mother died a few months after I left,” she said wiping some tears away with the sleave of the hoody she was wearing, “and last I heard daddy dearest was running his own prostitute ring,”. She excused herself to the bathroom. Lucifer stared out the window. A wave of anger raging in him he hadn’t ever felt before. His eyes went from crystal blue to burning red in seconds. The only thought on his mind was paying her father a visit.

--------------------

Lucifer woke up on a bed in a room he didn’t recognize at first until he remembered the night before. A girl had saved him from some angels who tried to kill him. They had managed to drain his grace before she got to him. That's when he noticed a small bottle on the floor next to him glowing full with grace. He picked it up, opened it up, and drank it in.

He walked into the next room and saw the girl who had helped him sitting on a couch reading a book. She looked up when he entered the room. “I left your grace in there for you,” she said. 

“You might not have done that if you knew who I was,” he cooed.

“I know exactly who you are,” she said closing the book, “Lucifer,”. 

“Why aren’t you freaking out or cowering?” he asked amused. 

“Let me ask you something,” she started, “I get who you are and all, but don’t you ever get tired of someone looking at you and feeling the urge to run. Especially when you have no intention of even giving them any attention at all?” 

“What's your name?” he asked. 

“Delilah,” she sighed, “sadly enough,”. 

“How long have we been here?” he asked, “don’t want those angels finding me again,”. 

“Don’t worry, this place is warded,” she said, “I’ve met a few hunters in my life,”. 

“Were you hunting me?” he asked even more amused and a bit cautious now. She laughed. 

“I’m not the smartest person on earth,” she said, “but I’m not stupid,”. He stared at her for a moment taking in her look. She was pale skinned. She had long black hair that was streaked red and green and she had hazel eyes. A bit of shock hit him as he found himself thinking she was kind of attractive.

--------------------

Sam knocked on the door of the room Delilah had locked herself in. “Can we come in?” he asked. 

“Just leave me alone,” she called back. He could hear the sadness in her voice.

“Please, we just wanna talk,” he said. She didn’t answer. Sam slowly turned the knob and found it wasn’t locked this time. He opened the door and when they entered the room she was just sitting on the bed looking at her phone.

“What?” she asked not even looking them in their eyes. 

“We thought you might be hungry,” Sam said, “we brought you some lunch,” he said placing the plate with a sub and chips on it on the end table. She still said nothing. Dean rolled his eyes. 

“Look we saved you ok?,” he said, “so how about you drop the pouty act,” She looked at them this time and both brothers were surprised to see the anger in her eyes. 

“You think you saved me?!” she said, “saved me from what?!”. 

“Lucifer is a monster ok?!” Dean argued back, “hell he killed an innocent guy while you were shacked up together,”. She started laughing, but they could since it was laced with anger. 

“That innocent guy,” she said as she made finger quotes, “was a fucking monster!. He was my father who not only physically and sexually abused me, but many other girls too!. Lucifer killed him to free me from looking over my shoulder the rest of my life and in doing so also saved many other girls and to be honest that's the very moment I fell for him!” she said then tears filled her eyes, “but now you have him locked away in a cell and you won’t even let me see him,”. She turned her back toward them as the tears finally broke free. 

“He must have really brainwashed you,” Dean said. 

“Brainwashed me?” she asked sounding insulted. 

“Or tortured you,” Dean said. She stomped toward him and slapped him hard across the face. 

“He never once harmed me!” she stated, “he protected me!,” 

“I don’t believe that,” Dean said. 

“You think I’m lying? Have your angel buddy check,” she said as Cas fluttered in. He walked over to her and placed his two fingers on her forehead. The brothers waited until he was done. 

“Well?” Dean asked. 

“She’s telling the truth,” Castiel said, “Lucifer has never harmed her and he won't ever harm her,”. 

“What do you mean?” Sam asked. 

“When an archangel bonds with someone it’s unbreakable true love and compassion,” Castiel explained, “in fact, Lucifer would be at his calmest only around her,”.

--------------------

“Hello Lucifer,” Castiel appeared in front of the cell they had stuck him in. Sam had made sure no one but, he and his brothers dealt with the cells in hell. 

“Leave me alone Castiel,” the archangel demanded displaying his glowing red eyes, “I don’t want any visitors,”. Castiel snapped his finger. 

“I hope that doesn’t include me,” he heard someone say from behind him. He turned to look and there stood Delilah. He hurried to her and hugged her tight. She could feel him shaking. 

“It’s ok Lucifer,” she said running her hand through his wild, blonde hair, “it’s ok, it’s me,”. He soon calmed down and his eyes went back to crystal blue as he pulled away to look at her. He gave her a long, soft kiss. 

“I’ve..missed you,” he said resting his head against her’s. She smiled and caressed his cheek. 

“I’ve missed you too,” she said.

“How are you here?” he asked. 

“I convinced them to let me come see you,” she said, “I wasn’t taking no for an answer,”. 

“I’ve convinced the boys to let you stay for a few hours,” Castiel said, “I’ll be back to get you later Delilah,”. With that, the angel fluttered off. Lucifer pulled her into another hug. She softly ran her hands up and down his back before running one through his hair again.

--------------------

She was sitting on the kitchen counter the next morning eating a bowl of cocoa puffs. Lucifer was standing next to her watching her as she put another spoonful in her mouth. “You know,” he said with a smirk, “I’ve never really tried cereal before,” before she could finish the bite he kissed her hard and passionately. She giggled kissing back, tugging her hands through his hair. When they broke the kiss he rested his forehead on her’s. 

“Well?” she asked. 

“Not bad,” he said, “you know some people would say you are crazy to be with me,”. 

“Hmm,” she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck, “If being crazy means being with you then I hope I’m never sane,”. 

“You have a thing for bad guys?” he asked. 

“Not bad guys,” she said taking another bite of her cereal, “rebels,”. He smirked again as he gave her yet another hard passionate kiss.

--------------------

She had been hiding behind a big crate. She had heard some commotion while walking to the parking garage to get her car and decided to check it out. She peeked over the crate and gasped to herself. There were two angels standing around someone they had trapped in a holy fire ring. She couldn’t see who it was, but he was trying hard to talk his way out of the danger he was in. 

“Enough Lucifer,” one of them said as she slid an archangel blade from her sleeve, “no stalling is gonna help you,”. 

“Look, you took my grace,” she heard him say, but sounded like he was struggling to talk, “let's just call it a night and we all go our separate ways,”. She peaked back over the crate and had to hold in another gasp. The archangel looked badly beaten. One eye looked so swollen it was closed shut. She couldn’t explain it, but the want to help him overtook her. Good thing she had a few hunter friends who had taught her how to deal with angels. She knew she couldn’t take both of them so she needed a distraction. 

She saw a big rock and picked it up. With all the force she could summon she threw it across the street and it broke loudly through a window which caught the attention of both angels. 

“Go check that out,” the female angel ordered, “ in fact check the whole block,” the male angel nodded and flapped off. She stayed hidden until she knew he was gone. She grabbed the angel blade from her bag and slowly walked toward the angel who luckily had her back toward her laughing Lucifer.

“You better take it in now serpent,” she hissed, “it’s finally your last night of life,”. Lucifer rolled to his side trying to stand up. He had noticed the human girl while the angel kept talking. She pressed her finger to her lips telling him not to say anything.

“You know,” he said, “All I did was show I could think for myself,”.

“And look where that got you,” the angel said, “locked up like the animal you are,”. The angel froze when she felt the blade in her black. 

“Put the fire out,” she ordered, “now,”. 

“Don’t be foolish,” the angel said, “he has to be killed,”. 

“Do it or I stab you,” she said. The angel waved her hand and the fire ring vanished. 

“You realize you’re trying to save a monster,” the angel said. 

“yeah well from stories I’ve heard angels aren’t so innocent either,”. A bright light burst from the angel as the girl shoved the knife in her back. She wiped the blade off and threw it back in her bag when she noticed a small, glowing bottle roll out of the angel’s coat pocket. She grabbed it and put in her bag and hurried over to the hurt archangel. He was on his side and barely awake. 

“Hey, come on,” she said helping him up. He looked at her. 

“Who are you?” he asked. 

“I’ll introduce myself later,” she said, “let's get you out of here,”. She helped him get some balance and hurried to her car. 

“Why are you helping me?” he asked. 

“Because believe it or not some of us understand you,” she said,” and agree with you,”

--------------------

“No one ever asks about my side of the story,” Lucifer said slamming the bible he found shut and tossing it across the room, “no one even tries to listen,”. She sat on the bed beside him Indian style and gently laid her hand on his leg.

“I’m listening,” she said. He looked over at her. She noticed the anger in his blue eyes, but she also saw the hurt he tried to hide. 

“What?” he asked. 

“There are two sides to every story,” she said, “everyone knows your father’s side, but your side deserves to be heard too, so I’m listening. Tell me your side,”. So he did. Told her everything from when he and his brothers helped lock Amara away to when his father locked him away. He even told her about the battle with his brother and everything after. He looked up at her after he was done and was surprised to see tears in her eyes. 

“That's everything,” he said. She could see he was shaking. She scooted over to him and very gently and slowly so he wouldn't think she was up to anything wrapped him in a hug. He didn’t hug back, but she didn’t care. She softly ran her hand through his hair. 

“Lucifer,” she said, “I know it means nothing probably, but I am so sorry. You didn’t deserve what happened all because you didn’t love something else more than you’re father,”. She soon noticed his shaking calmed and was a bit surprised when she finally felt him hug back.

--------------------

She sat on the old couch in the rundown house she hid away in with her legs stretched out. Lucifer was sitting by her side right against her. Not hard enough to hurt her. It was more of a protection thing. He was shaking so bad he was bouncing his legs up and down. She was in a bit of shock too. She was walking to her car from work when she was jumped by some guy who kept bugging her for weeks. If it wasn’t for the archangel hearing her pleas she would have been sexually assaulted. She was deep in thought when she felt a strong pair of arms wrap around her. Lucifer held her tight to him and she hugged back and softly played with his hair. It had become the usual way to soothe him and she didn’t complain. Whenever she hugged him she always got a whiff of fancy cologne and hickory smoke. She had come to love the smell and she wasn’t ashamed to admit she felt safe in the arms of the rebel archangel. There was honestly no other place she’d rather be.

--------------------

She laid on the bed in the bunker room she woke up in. Tears stained down her cheeks as she swiped through her phone. Fresh tears fell as she came across pictures she had taken with Lucifer. One was kinda blurry as she was trying to teach Lucifer how to take pictures on a cell phone. That memory made her smile a little. The next one Lucifer took of them together. They were snuggled up and he kissed her cheek as he snapped the picture. The next one she took, but Lucifer had snapped and made a pair of fake devil horns appear on their heads and they made silly faces for the picture. The next one made her heartache. 

It was one she took where Lucifer was behind her with his arms wrapped around her and his head rested on her shoulder. She kissed the top of his head as she snapped the picture. She turned the phone off and tossed it to the side. She grabbed the brown jacket lucifer was always wearing. It was cold in the old house that night and he had let her wear it since archangels don’t get cold. She hugged the jacket to her chest. A faint scent of cologne and hickory smoke hit her nose causing more tears to fall.

It felt lonely not being around the archangel. Like part of her was missing. That's when she heard wings flutter. 

“Are you ok?” Castiel asked, “I could sense your sadness,”. 

“Then you know I’m not ok,” she said looking up at him with tear filled eyes.

--------------------

Lucifer and Deliah sat on the makeshift wooden seat of the cell. She had been in there with him for about two hours. They just talked. Being near him again made her feel whole. Lucifer was holding her hand and softly rubbing his thumb over the back of it. She smiled. “If you wanna leave now you can,” the archangel said, “I know it's boring just sitting here,”. 

“No,” she said, “I’m with you and that's enough for me,”. She smiled as he pulled her onto his lap. She giggled and kissed his cheek. “When I get you out of here we should definitely go away for a while,” she said. 

“Close your eyes,” he told her. She looked confused but complied. She felt him touch her forehead before things went silent. She opened her eyes and she wasn’t in the cell anymore. She was standing on a flat sparkling rock in the middle of a decent sized pond, with a small waterfall. There were beautiful trees and flowers everywhere. “Wow,” she said as she felt Lucifer’s arms wrap around her. 

“I thought you’d like it,” he said. 

“How are we here?” she asked. 

“Archangel magic is very strong,” he explained, “Our physical bodies are still in the cell. This is kinda like a very lucid dream,”. 

“So you created all of this?” she asked. 

“I got the idea from all the nature magazines you have,” he said, “I could gather you love waterfalls,”. She smiled. “Now, since we’ll be swimming,” he said as he snapped his fingers and she was suddenly dressed in a black two-piece swimsuit that decently covered her and Lucifer was wearing a pair of black swim trunks. 

“Swimwear suits you,” she complimented.

“Please, I look good in anything,” he said and she giggled.

-------------------- 

Delilah and Lucifer were just sitting around the old rundown house. It was a rather cold summer night and she started to shiver a little. Lucifer chuckled a little and took off the brown jacket he had been wearing and draped it over her shoulders. “Wear it,” he said, “to warm up?”. 

“What about you?” she asked. His smile grew as he leaned down and gave her a slow kiss. 

“Archangels don't get cold,” he said, “I just happen to look good in a jacket,”. She giggled. 

“I agree,” she said giving him a kiss back. She sat and read as Lucifer enjoyed a glass of scotch. She was startled when she a heard a thud and looked over to see Lucifer on the floor. She ran over to him. “What's wrong?” she asked. 

“I don’t know,” he said as she helped him up, “the room is spinning,”. She noticed he was unbalanced a bit and his speech was a little slurred. He went to walk and almost fell luckily though barely Delilah was able to catch him. 

“Ok ok,” she said, “let's get you over to the couch,” just as she got him on the couch the front door burst open. Three guys walked in. Two dressed in flannel and one with an old trench coat. Lucifer wobbly stood up and pushed Delilah behind him. 

“Leave her alone,” the archangel tried to warn. 

“We’re not the ones holding her hostage,” the boy in the dark blue flannel said. Delilah looked at him confused.

“No one is holding me, hostage,” she told them. 

“Lucifer, make it easy on yourself,” the guy in the trench coat said, “and just come with us,”. Just as Lucifer raised his hand to snap a purple glow locked his hands behind him as a red-headed woman walked in. The taller of the boys grabbed Lucifer’s arm and started heading outside. Delilah tried to run after them, but the shorter one stopped her. 

“Hey you’re ok now,” he told her. 

“What are you talking about? I was never not ok,” she said, “where are you taking him?”. 

“He can’t hurt you anymore,” the guy said. 

“He never hurt me,” she said running to the front door. They were forcing Lucifer into an old black Impala. “Please let him go,” she said as she headed for the car, but the taller one stopped her. 

“Hey it's ok, he can’t control you anymore,” he said. She rolled her eyes.

“Let me go,” she tried to push past him, but he held her tight from behind. That's when her eyes caught Lucifer’s from the window of the car. There were tears in his eyes as they stared at each other. Then she heard his voice in her head.

“I love you,” tears filled her eyes. The red-headed lady and the shorter guy got in the car and started to drive. 

“No please let him go!” she said struggling to break free from the taller guy, “Lucifer!” she called out. All the Archangel could do was watch as they got further away. She continued to call for him and struggle against the tall guy until the guy in the trench seemed to appear in front of her in a flash. He touched her forehead and things went dark.

--------------------

Delilah was sitting in the library of the bunker. She tried to take solace in reading to escape the heartbreak she was feeling, but it did little to help. Usually when she was reading Lucifer would be standing behind the couch his head resting on her shoulder reading with her, or playfully annoying her by asking her questions about the book when she tried to read. Her favorite was when he would snatch the book away so she’d pay attention to him. A sad smile crossed her face.

“There’s my beautiful book worm,” she heard a familiar voice say. She looked and shot up. 

“Lucifer?” she asked. At first, she thought her mind was playing tricks on her. 

“It’s me,” he said, “but I don’t know who zapped me here,”. She ran to him and pulled him tight to her as she gave him a deep, longing kiss. She didn’t wanna let him go for fear he would fade away or vanish. She relaxed a little when he hugged her just as tight. When they broke the kiss she rested against him with her head on his shoulder. She didn’t notice at first, but she had tears in her eyes.

“So you have no idea how you got out?” she asked. 

“We do,” Dean said walking into the room. Following behind him was a scrawny, scruffy looking man. She noticed he had the same piercing blue eyes both Lucifer and Castiel had. She noticed a hard expression on Lucifer’s face. 

“Delilah,” Dean said, “This is chuck, or you may know him as God,”. 

“Hello Delilah,” he said and looked at Lucifer, “Son,”. 

“Don’t call me that,” Lucifer forced through clenched teeth. 

“You’re angry with me,” Chuck said, “I understand,”. 

“Angry?!” the archangel spat, “I hate you!”.

“You don’t mean that,” Chuck said. 

“Yes I do!” the archangel yelled, “I thought we were getting somewhere! I finally started to forgive you and then you leave me alone again!” Delilah started to notice his eyes glowing red. She gently touched his hand. He looked at her and his anger started to fade and he just walked away. 

“He’s a little dramatic,” Chuck said, “always has been,”. 

“Dramatic?” she asked feeling somehow insulted, “how is he dramatic? Because you locked him away for millions of years? Expected him to love something you created more then he loved you. Thinking it wouldn’t hurt him that you picked some creature you created over another you considered your own child? That’s not dramatic. That's pain, and that's hurt, and that's heartbreak. Especially since he was right Chuck. Humans suck,”. 

“How can you say that about your own kind?” he asked. 

“How can I say that?” Delilah asked, “don’t you dare ask me that. I prayed to you! You know what I went through. You did nothing to help me as I was touched and used in ways no creature should ever be,”. Chuck stayed quiet. She started to walk off. 

“Could you ask him to come speak with me?” he asked. She turned around. 

“I’ll ask,” she said, “but I won't tell him he has to and if he wants I will be sitting right there next to him,”. She walked off.

--------------------

She found Lucifer sitting in a chair in the room she had been using. She could tell he was extremely upset. She hadn’t ever seen him shake that much. She touched his shoulder and he looked up. Her heart broke. He had tears in his beautiful blue eyes. She hugged him tight and softly ran her hand through his hair. She didn’t say anything. She knew he’d talk once he calmed down. After his shaking calmed down she lifted his face to look at her wiping the stray tears from his cheeks. He gently pulled her into his lap and just held onto her for a while. “I don’t know If I can talk to him again,” he said in almost a whisper tone. 

“It’s your choice,” she said, “but whatever you decide I’ll be right there with you,”. 

“He told me he was sorry, but yet he left again,” Lucifer said, “didn’t even bother to ask Amara where she sent me. No one thought to even question it,”. She kissed the side of his head. 

“It’s not fair how you get treated Lucifer,” she said, “but letting them anger you is also letting them hurt you,”. 

“What do I do?” he whispered. 

“if you choose to speak with Chuck again, let it be known how you feel and then let yourself be at peace with that,”. She said.

“And you’re willing to be there with me?” he asked. 

“Of course,” she said, “if you want me there then I’m there,” He leaned up a little and give her a small, sweet kiss.

-------------------- 

Lucifer was lost in thought when a huge wave of emotion hit him. It was complete sadness and he knew right away it was Delilah. He had to focus through the emotion just to get to her mind. “Hey my beautiful book worm,” She heard. Her crying calmed enough to hear him. “Please calm down. Focus on my voice,” She closed her eyes and focused. “Please try to rest,”. Soon she was out like a light. When Lucifer finally felt the sadness fade away it was replaced with anger. Someone had upset Delilah and he wasn’t happy about it as his eyes went from blue to red.

Delilah sat in the bunker dining room with the boys and a bunch of other hunters. It was some kind of hunter-gathering the boys planned. Cheap food and a poker game basically. 

“So who's the new girl?” A hunter woman named Jody asked. 

“She’s an old friend,” Dean said, “ doesn’t hunt, but knows about it,”. 

“Nice to meet you,” she said with a sympathetic look, “broken heart?”. 

“Yeah,” was all Delilah said. 

“What happened?, if I can ask,” Jody said. 

“My boyfriend, “she explained as she caught Dean rolling his eyes, “is unfairly locked up,”. 

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Jody said but didn’t press it. 

“Speaking of locked up I hear you boys caught Lucifer again,” a hunter said. Delilah fought the urge to flinch. 

“Yeah, we caught him bunkered down in some old run down house,” Dean said refusing to make eye contact with Delilah. 

“Yeah,” a blonde hair girl chimed in, “I heard he had a girl held there,”. 

“Yeah,” another hunter chimed in, “had the girl thinking she was in love with him,”. Delilah tried so hard to stay calm. Every fiber in her screaming at her to defend her archangel. 

“Who could love something like him?” the blonde girl said, “he’s like the worst of monsters,”. Castiel noticed Delilah clenching onto the arms of her chair so tight her knuckles were turning white. 

“You figured being touched by the serpent would taint you,” another hunter said from the back of the room. 

“Excuse me,” she said and hurried out of the room as the three boys looked at each other. She ran into her room and barely made it to her bed before she broke down. Tears slid down her cheeks as she hugged Lucifer’s jacket tight trying to keep the sobs from being heard by anyone else. She couldn’t stand being in the room any longer and hearing them talking about him like that. 

--------------------

“I wanna know who upset her!” The angry archangel yelled at Castiel Who had come to explain what happened so he’d stop constantly calling him. 

“It was a hunter-gathering in the bunker,” Castiel explained, “somehow word of your capture traveled. They got to the point of insulting you and she couldn’t take it after a while,”. 

“I swear Castiel if anyone hurt her,” the archangel threatened, “they will regret it,” .

“She’s fine Lucifer,” Castiel stated, “just the emotional toll of the insulting hurt her,”. 

“Is she really ok?” Lucifer asked. 

“She was asleep when I checked on her,” Castiel said. 

“When she wakes I wanna see her,” he said, “and from now on during the Winchester’s little pal gatherings I want her here with me,”. The angel nodded and fluttered off. 

The next morning Castle had snapped Delilah to Lucifer’s cell. As soon as she popped in the archangel had her wrapped in his arms. She smiled and hugged him tight and ran a hand through his hair like she always did. “I’m ok,” she said. 

“If anyone hurt you I’ll deal with them,” he said. 

“No one hurt me,” she said, “just couldn’t take how they were talking about you,”. 

“What were they saying?” he asked as they sit on the bench. She didn’t wanna tell him, but he had a right to know she figured so she told him everything she heard. He sat there for a minute hands clasped together looking at the floor. 

“Do you believe them?” he asked. 

“No, I don’t,” she said. He sensed the sincerity in her voice. 

“But, you know everything I’ve done,” he said looking up at her. 

“Yes I know,” she said, “but, just because you’ve done bad things in the past doesn’t mean I should judge you on them,”. 

“What if I do bad things again?” he asked, but he didn’t look at her. He only did that when he thought he wouldn’t like the answer he was about to hear. She gently took his hands in hers. 

“Even if you did,” she started, “my feelings for you, I don’t think they’d change, but I also believe you’re strong enough to fight the urges you feel to do something bad,”. She noticed him fighting back tears. She very gently turned his head so he’d look at her, “talk to me?” she said as she softly ran her thumb over his cheek. 

“I do have urges to hurt someone or to do something bad,” he admitted, “but the minute you enter my mind or I’m around you they just go away. I usually wouldn’t admit I fear anything, but I fear every day that I’ll give in and then I’ll lose you when you find out,” He blinked the tears in his eyes away.

“Lucifer,” she said getting his attention. “You don’t have to worry about that, because I don’t believe you’ll give in to your urges,” 

“Why?” he asked curiously. 

“You told me about your hate for humanity, for humans,” she said, “but Lucifer you have never once, ever hurt me, you’ve never even been harsh with me. That's why I believe you have a good side, you just never get a chance to show it. No one gives you a chance to trust them or yourself enough to show it,”. 

“I could never hurt you,” he said, “I realized that the day after you saved me from those angels. I couldn’t understand it at first, it actually kind of scared me. I wasn’t sure what it was at first until the night you asked me to tell you my story. When you hugged me it hit me. I was falling for you. Then when you let me kiss you and you kissed back, I couldn’t deny it anymore,”. 

“Same here,” she said smiling at the memory. 

“I couldn’t stand it if you started looking at me like a monster,” Lucifer looked at her. The sadness and tears in his sky blue eyes broke her heart. She stood up and hugged him.

“I will never look at you like a monster,” she said sitting in his lap, “because you’re not a monster. You’ve never been shown anything, but negative emotions. I won’t do that to you,”. He hugged her tightly and smiled. 

“So, I guess I’ve really stolen your heart huh?” he asked his mischievous nature back which made her smile. 

“What can I say,” she said giving him a soft kiss, “guess I have soft spot for rebel angels,”.

-------------------- 

Delilah had just finished brushing her teeth before bed. When she turned around Lucifer was behind her. She couldn’t help but stare. He had managed to find some boxers in the closet and he had no shirt on. He chuckled pulling her into a soft, passionate kiss. He lifted her up and held her against the bathroom door never breaking the kiss. She giggled and wrapped her legs around his waist. She couldn’t help, but run her hands over his chest and stomach. The archangel’s grin grew, “Like what you see?” he asked. 

“Very much,” she said as she kissed him again. He carried her over to the bed and gently laid her on it and hovered over her. He could see the tiniest bit of worry in her eyes. 

“I won’t hurt you,” he assured her. She gently brought her hands up to caress her cheeks. 

“I know, I trust you,”. He leaned down and started to softly kiss her neck as he did he lightly touched her side and a wave of pleasure shot through her body causing her to moan. 

“Hmm, if you’re gonna make sounds like that I can do that all night,” he said looking up at her with a smirk and chuckle. 

“No no,” she said, “pulling his face toward her, “no one likes a tease,” She kissed him again just as he touched her again causing another wave of pleasure that made her moan into the kiss. 

“You know,” he started whispering so closely into her ear she shivered, “I am an angel, so if you want me inside you I need to hear the magic word,”. He continued to kiss her neck. She giggled and whispered back in his ear. 

“Yes,” she said as he looked up at her.

“Are you sure?” he asked not wanting to scare her, she nodded and he gave her a hard, passionate kiss. That night was beyond amazing to her. The way he touched her. The way he kissed her. The way he moved. It was nothing, but pure pleasure. It was like he knew exactly how to please her. It was the first time she ever truly made love, and she’d never forgot it.

-------------------- 

She laid on the sofa wrapped in a thick quilt reading one of the many books she collected, or she was trying to at least. But her mind kept roaming to earlier with Lucifer. The range of emotions flashing in his blue eyes as he told her his story were many. He tried to play them off, but she noticed each one. Hurt, anger, desperation, fear. It all made her heart break for him. She listened to every word. Yes, he did bad things, hurt people, but she honestly couldn’t blame him. He was punished by being locked away for millions of years all because he refused to love a lesser creature more than he loved his father. It was extremely unfair and unjust. 

Then her mind drifted to when she hugged him. At first, he didn’t hug back. She hadn’t expected him too, but she felt like she needed to hug him. And she felt like she needed to tell him that at least she was sorry for what he had to endure. She was surprised when he hugged back, but if she was being honest it felt right to be in the archangel’s arms. It felt...safe. The soft feel of his hair as she ran her hand through it felt right. When she hugged him a faint scent of cologne mixed with what she could only describe as hickory smoke tickled her nose. She smiled as she drifted off to sleep to the memory.

Lucifer sat on the bed for a while after Delilah left the room. He was confused. What he was feeling was very strange to him. He shrugged it off at first, but then she asked him to tell her his story. He could tell she was actually listening. No one had ever listened to his side. The tears in her eyes when he finished surprised him too, but the one the thing that shocked him most was when she hugged him. No fear, nothing. And she apologized and told him he didn’t deserve the punishment he was given.

What shocked the archangel, even more, was he couldn’t fight the urge he felt to hug her back. How right it felt to hug her. How it felt nice when she ran her hand through his hair. He walked out into the living room. Delilah was asleep on the couch. It looked like she fell asleep reading. He sat on the coffee table in front of the couch and leaned over enough to brush a lock of her hair from her face. “What have you done to me?” he asked himself. Even now he couldn’t help but feel the need to protect her. “This can’t be right!” he argued to himself as walked around the house. He was trying so hard to deny it, but it was undeniable. He was falling for Delilah. The part that scared him the most was that he wanted to.

-------------------- 

Lucifer sat in a chair right beside Delilah’s bed. It had been about two hours since the rescue mission to get her back happened. Lucifer couldn’t block the image of the angel who took her stabbing an angel blade straight through her. He reached over and lightly grabbed her hand. She looked so peaceful. Like she was sleeping. “You have to wake up.” the archangel whispered, “please wake up. I can’t be without you, not now,” He got up and set beside her on the bed and gently stroked her hair. “Not after everything we have, everything you’ve given me,” he kissed her hand again as a few tears escaped his eyes. “Please Delilah wake up,” he pleaded, “ don’t leave me please,”. Chuck walked in. 

“It may take a few hours, maybe a day,” Chuck said, “if it worked at all son,”. Lucifer looked up at his father not bothering to even hide the tears running down his face. 

“It has to work,” he said in a choked whisper, “she has to come back,” Chuck nodded. 

“Patience is all we have for now son,” he said and walked out. Lucifer turned back to Delilah and kissed her hand again. She still felt warm so that gave him a tiny spark of hope.

--------------------

“Lucifer what's going on?” Delilah asked. Her mischevious archangel had made her close her eyes as he zapped them somewhere. 

“Don’t worry,” he said, “you’ll love it,” he took her hands and lead her somewhere. She heard him open a door and they walked inside. Once they were in far enough he let go of her hands. A few seconds later she felt his arms wrap around her from behind as he rested his chin on her shoulder. “Ready?” he asked and she nodded. “Open your eyes,” he said. She did and gasped as her eyes widened. Lucifer had transformed the old run down house they used into a clean, rebuilt, library. All Delilah’s books were placed on dark, wooden shelves all in genres and alphabetical order. She swore it reminded her a lot of the library from Beauty and The Beast. 

“Do you like it?” he asked. She hadn’t said anything in a few minutes and he was starting to worry. 

“I love it Lucifer,” she said, “You did this all for me?”. He turned her around in his arms and rested his forehead on her’s. 

“I’d do anything for you,” he said playfully rolling his eyes, “I knew you wanted to keep this place and well I had to give my beautiful bookworm her own library,”. She smiled and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “I even tried to make it look like the library from Beauty and The Beast,” he said, “I know it’s your favorite story. I am kinda the beast to your Belle,”. 

“No,” Delilah said as she placed her hand on his cheek, “I’m the princess to your prince and of course I couldn’t say goodbye to this place. It’s where the best part of my life unfolded,” He smiled and gave her a soft, loving kiss. She smiled. “It’s where an amazing rebel angel stole my heart,” he smiled and held her close to him in a tight hug.

--------------------

Delilah walked into the room of the bunker she and Lucifer had been sharing and saw a bag sitting on the bed. There was a note by the bag. She picked it up and read it. It simply said in Lucifer’s handwriting to wear this for tonight. She opened the bag and pulled out a gorgeous black and purple, sleeveless corset dress. She changed into the dress and stood in front of her mirror. It stopped just above her knees. The black sheer design on the top of the dress matching with the purple color brought out her pale skin. She also saw there was a pair of strappy, black heels to go with the dress and put them on. She had to admit Lucifer had style. 

She decided to put her hair in a ponytail and curl it. Lucifer seemed to love when she had her hair up. He would hug her for longer periods of time just to play with the ponytail and she loved it. She added some black eyeliner to her eyes and some peach flavored lip gloss to her lips. Just as she finished curling her ponytail she heard the familiar flap of wings and smiled. She turned around to see him staring. He didn’t say anything and she started to wonder if she didn’t look as good as he wanted. 

“Do I look that bad?” she asked. He smiled and walked over to her. 

“You look even more beautiful than I pictured,” he said as he cupped her face in his hands and pulled her into a kiss. She smiled as she felt him tugging lightly at her ponytail when she hugged him. “I guess I should get ready now,” he said as he stood back and admired her for a minute, “Hmm,” he said as he snapped his fingers. He was suddenly dressed in a black and purple tuxedo. The suit its self consisted of black pants and jacket over a white shirt while the tie was striped purple and black with a fancy design on it and a matching handkerchief in the pocket. He had his hair combed back. Her mouth fell open.

“How do I look?” he asked with that devilish smile on his face. 

“Where ever we’re going,” she said, “I’m definitely the luckiest girl there,” he chuckled and pulled her to him. 

“If anyone is the lucky one it's me,” he said. 

“So where are we going?” she asked. 

“Can’t say,” he said, “but don’t worry my beautiful book worm tonight is all about you,”.

-------------------- 

Delilah was reading on the couch when suddenly her book vanished. She giggled and rolled her eyes as not even two seconds later Lucifer was stretched out on the couch with his head on her lap. “I’m more interesting,” he said as he closed his eyes and relaxed. 

“Yes you are,” she said as she softly played with his hair. She smiled as she looked down at the archangel. His eyes were closed and he looked so peaceful. Like he was sleeping. She leaned down and kissed his forehead. He smiled. 

“I was wondering something about angels,” she said. 

“What?” he asked.

“Well from what I’ve read angels don’t trust humans much, but if they do there’s something special they do, but the book didn’t say what,”. Lucifer sat up. 

“There is something we do, but we really have to have a high level of trust in order to feel comfortable enough to do it,”. 

“Oh,” she said, “what is it?” 

“We show our wings,” he said, but she noticed he avoided eye contact. 

“I won’t ask you to show them,” she said, “it sounds like a personal thing and should be your choice when you trust me enough,”. He sat there for a moment. He looked lost in thought than a small smile formed on his face. He stood up and took her hands helping her stand. He walked with her to a more opened space in the room. 

“Delilah Stone,” he said, “you are the only being in creation I trust,” he stood up straight. Bright light coming from him as he rolled his shoulders and soon a set of big, black wings sprouted from behind him. They were sheer for a moment then went solid. She walked over to him and looked them over. She noticed feathers missing and some were bent. She very gently reached her hand up and softly touched them. They felt even softer then bird feathers. 

“They’re not as glorious as they once were,” he said. She could hear the sadness in his voice. She looked at the bent feathers. 

“Do they still hurt?” she asked. He shook his head. She very softly touched one of the bent ones. It was rough but still felt softer than most feathers.

“They’ve been this way since,” he started to say, “anyway, just another hideous thing about me,”. She looked up at him. 

“You are not a hideous being Lucifer,” she said, “your wings are the most beautiful wings I’ve ever seen,”. 

“How can they be?” he asked, “they’re missing feathers and others are bent?” 

“They are damaged Lucifer yes,” she said as she places her hand on his cheek, “but they are not broken. You, are not broken Lucifer. I’ve seen the beauty you have inside. The love, the passion. Anyone with all that in them can not be hideous. They just don’t see their own beauty,”. He smiled as he pulled her into a soft, sweet kiss. Her heart flipped when she felt his wings wrap around her.

--------------------

Delilah sat in the room of the bunker that had become her’s since the Winchesters turned her world upside down. It felt more like a prison than a room. She was sitting on the bed looking at an old book Lucifer had given her. It was a book written completely in angel language. He said it was an ancient book that chronicled the lives of him and his brothers and sisters before the world was created. They would sit and decode it together all the time. Lucifer even taught her how to write and read in Enochian. He would even write little notes for her to decode. Usually sweet compliments. She kept them in between the pages of the book. She was reading them again when there was a knock on the door. She put the book back in her bag. “What?” she called out. It sounded harsh, but she didn’t care. These jerks had taken away so much from her. No way in hell was she gonna show kindness toward them. 

A woman poked her head in. “Hi, can I come in?”. 

“Um sure,” Delilah had never met her before, but she seemed nice. She had long black hair and bright green eyes. 

“I’m Lya Winchester,” she introduced herself walking in and closing the door. 

“Are you their sister?” she asked. 

“Not really,” Lya said, “more like sister-in-law. I’m with Castiel,”. 

“You’re dating an angel?” Delilah asked. Lya giggled. 

“Seems like we already have one thing in common,” she said, “we got a thing for angels,”. Delilah giggled for the first time since she’d been in the bunker. 

“It would seem so,” she said. Lya noticed a look of sadness on her face. 

“You really are in love,” Lya said it as more of a statement than a question, “I know that look,”. 

“Lya, for the first time in my entire life I had someone who showed me true love and affection,” Delilah explained, “someone who showed me they cared. Someone who showed me I didn’t need to flinch every time they touched me. I was,” she stopped herself, “I am in love. I was happy and believe it or not so was Lucifer. Then they broke in and took it away from me,”. 

“I know it seems unfair Delilah,” Lya said, “but Lucifer did kill someone,” 

“Trust me Lya someone who can physical and sexual abuse their child her whole life is a real-life monster,” Delilah said. 

“Who did he?” Lya started to say before she looked at Delilah. She recognized the look of pain abuse can leave in a person’s eyes, “it was your father wasn’t it?”. 

“Yes,” she said, “I told Lucifer one night what I went through and he told me as I drifted off to sleep that I wouldn’t ever have to worry about my father again. Yes, I knew what he did, but it wasn’t a bad thing to me. He freed me. Lya I know to everyone else he’s a monster, but to me, he’s the one I’m meant to be with, hell he’s my hero,”. 

“I understand Delilah,” Lya said, “anyone with a brain knows we don’t pick who will fall in love with. Our hearts do,”. 

“Lya, they won’t even let me see him,” Delilah said, “‘I’ve asked so many times and every time they say no because he could hurt me,” she rolled her eyes on the last part. 

“That sounds like them,” Lya said. 

“Lya, have you ever been apart from Castiel for more than a day?” she asked. 

“There was one time where he hunted with the boys for about two weeks,” she said. 

“How did that feel to you?” Delilah asked. 

“I was ok at first,” Lya started, “but then around day three I started to miss him. At times I felt so lonely, by the end of that first week it felt like,” 

“Part of you was missing?” Delilah finished for her. Lya nodded, “that’s exactly how I feel Lya,”. 

“I’m so sorry Delilah,” she said. 

“Please Lya,” she pleaded as tears escaped her eyes, “please talk to them,”. 

“I’ll try, but they can be so stubborn,” she said. 

“I know, but they have locked him up which is unfair enough,” Delilah said, “but they have no right at all to keep me from him. I can’t see him, talk to him, hell Dean gives me such a disgusted look when I even mention him,” tears were running completely down her cheeks now. Lya’s heart went out to her. She suddenly noticed a small smile on Delilah’s face. 

“What?” she asked. 

“I don’t know if it’s where we’re so close he can feel my emotions, but even being apart he can tell when I’m upset,” she explained, “but every time he senses I’m upset I hear his voice in my head calling me by the nickname he gave me,”. 

“What's the name?” Lya asked. 

“Around our house,” Delilah paused for a minute fighting back another wave of tears, “I love to read so around the house are a bunch of books. One night, he leaned over the back of the sofa and was watching me read. I looked up and smiled at him and he said I was the most beautiful book worm he’d ever seen,”

“Do you have a nickname for him?” Lya asked. 

“I always call him my rebel angel,” Delilah said. 

“Delilah, I’ll take to them and do what I can to get you to see him,” Lya told her. 

“Thank you Lya,” Delilah said giving her a hug.

--------------------

Lucifer was sitting at the kitchen table reading the copy of beauty and the Beast Delilah seem to always have within reach. He decided while Delilah was sleeping he would read it. She seemed to really love the story. When he was about five chapters in he heard a noise coming from the bedroom. It sounded like Delilah was crying. He put the book down and hurried to the bedroom door.

“Delilah,” he called cracking the door open a bit, “may I come in?”. 

“Yeah,” she answered and he could hear the pain in her voice. He walked in and saw her sitting on the edge of the bed clutching her stomach. 

“What's the matter?” he asked walking over to her. 

“its nothing, don't worry,” she said blushing. She didn’t know if angels knew about what human females went through every month. 

“You're in pain,” he said lifting her face gently to look at him as he wiped stray tears from her cheeks, “What's going on?”. She sighed. 

“just cramping really bad,” she answered, “it can really suck being a human girl one or two weeks a month,”.  Understanding he went around to the other side of the bed and laid down. 

“lay with me please?” he asked. She slowly scooted to him and snuggled into his side. Resting her head against his neck, “May I try something that could help?”. She nodded. He gently lifted up the bottom of her shirt to expose her stomach. He gently placed his hand on it. She felt warm for a moment then sighed and relaxed as the pain faded away. Lucifer couldn't help but smile at the feeling of her breath against his neck. 

“Try to sleep more,” he said as he softly and repeatedly ran his hand through her hair. 

“Lucifer,” she called in a sleep filled whisper. 

“hm?” he responded.

“I love you,” she said as she finally drifted off

--------------------

“So how do you use one of these things?” Lucifer asked holding up Delilah’s phone, “All I know is how to answer them and make calls,”. 

“I can show you how to take pictures,” she said sitting beside him on the bed. 

“Well, of course, my handsome face should be on your phone,” he said with that classic smirk of his.

“You know,” she said kissing his cheek, “I agree,”. She grabbed the phone and turned it on and brought up the camera. Lucifer watched carefully. 

“When you bring the camera up to make sure it's facing you then click the circle in the middle at the bottom to snap the picture,” she explained handing it to him. She watched as he held up the phone until he was in view and took the picture. When he looked at the picture it was blurry. 

“How did that happen?” he asked confused and she held in a giggle. 

“Sometimes that'll happen if the phone isn’t steady,” she said as she crawled behind him. she put her arms around him and grabbed the phone. She got the phone ready and rested her head against his as she snapped the picture. Lucifer watched as she made the picture the background on her phone. He smiled. 

“Can I try again?” he asked. She nodded and handed the phone to him, “come here,” he helped her get situated until she was sitting in front of him. He pulled her back to him and kissed her cheek as he took the picture. He watched as she made that one her lock screen photo. She took the next picture, but before she did Lucifer snapped his fingers and a set of toy devil horns appeared on their heads. She giggled as they each made a silly face as she took the photo. Lucifer then pulled her closer until she was rested against him and laid his head on her shoulder. 

She smiled and kissed the side of his forehead as she took another photo. He then gave her a soft, sweet kiss. She tossed the phone to the side, turned slightly in the archangel’s arms, and gave him a soft, but loving kiss back. “No picture this time?” he asked. She smiled.

“Some moments are just for us to see,” she said as she gave him another loving kiss.

--------------------

“What is this?” Delilah asked looking around the room. It was a master bedroom. Inside was a queen size bed, a dresser, mirror, and even a private bathroom. There were even fully stocked bookshelves. 

“This is our room when you’re here with me?” he told her, “I wanna make sure your happy when you’re here,”. She smiled and hugged him. 

“This is so sweet,” she said. 

“I just wanted to show you how thankful I am for you agreeing to do this with me,” he said as he pulled her close and whispered in her ear, “so what do you say we break it in,”. He placed his hands behind her thighs and lifted her up. She giggled as she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. 

“Well if you’re not too busy Sir,” she said. 

“I can squeeze you in,” he chuckled giving her a soft kiss, “I bet you never thought your story would have ended with me,”. 

“Well, it’s not the usual fairytale road,” she said, “but I did end up with my prince charming,”. 

“And I ended up with my queen,” he said, “I love you, Delilah,”. 

“I love you too Lucifer,” she said.

“Thank you for rescuing me,” he said, “from myself,”. She smiled. 

“We rescued each other,” she said leaning in and giving him a gentle, but loving kiss.

Fic #3: Sweet As Candy

SUMMARY: Sterling Weathers had so much on her plate. She was now in charge of her family’s candy shop after her mother passed. In fact, if it wasn’t for her favorite sweet-toothed customer Gabriel her life would be completely dull and sad. She has had feelings for the guy for a while now, but she knew she didn’t stand a chance. He wasn’t the kind of guy who was into chubby girls. 

Will Gabriel prove her wrong?

Will Weatherly help him somehow?

Will she find out he’s an archangel? 

TEASERS:

Sterling weathers sat in the office of her family’s candy shop. It was only her and her mother. Her mother had started the shop before Sterling was even born. Her mom had recently passed away and she left the shop to her. Sterling was worried though. When her mother passed the candy companies who worked with them all stopped business with them. If she didn’t find a new company soon, the shop would close for good. She was looking over some papers when the bell above the door jingled. A sign someone walked in. She looked up and smiled. “Hi Gabriel,” she greeted with a small smile. 

“Hey there candy girl,” he greeted. Gabriel had been visiting the shop for years. They had become good friends only she had no idea he was really an archangel. “How ya holdin up?” he asked. 

“Stressfully,” she said. He walked over to her and gave her a hug. 

“What's going on?” he asked. She explained about the candy situation and how if she can't find a new company soon the shop would close. 

“I don’t know what to do,” she said, “I can't let me my mom’s dream just fade away,”. 

“Hey,” Gabriel said as he kissed the top of her head, “it’s gonna be ok I can help,”. 

“How?” she asked. 

“I never told anyone this, but my family owns a candy company,” he said, “sure they’d help,” 

“You’d do that for me?” she asked. 

“Of course,” he said. He would do anything for Sterling. He was in love with her.

--------------------

Sterling stared at herself in the mirror. She wasn’t fat, but she was chubbier than most other girls. Her hair was a soft blonde color, but naturally very curly. Most of the time she loved her hair, but sometimes she hated it. Always convincing herself the curls made her chubby face stick out too much. The one thing she never found ugly about herself was her grey eyes. They were the one feature she had she didn’t hate. But she knew she would never be beautiful enough to get the attention of the guy she wanted to notice her most, Gabriel. She had started growing feelings for the mysterious guy about a year ago. She loved being in his company. He always made her laugh. He smelled like candy. She found his sweet tooth so adorable. Every time they saw each other he would give her a lollipop or a sucker and call her candy girl. Of course, she never ate them. She had everyone he ever gave her in a box stored away in her pantry. She hated feeling this way, but she’s seen the girls Gabriel was into. They were models compared to her and her thick build. She knew she had no chance of getting his attention. She sighed turning away from the mirror and sat in the computer chair across from it in her room. She looked at the picture of her and Gabriel that was taken during a Halloween party at the candy shop last year. He came as a pirate which oddly matched her costume. “What can I do to make you notice me Gabe?,” she thought to herself, “why can’t I be enough?”.

--------------------

“Gabriel, what are you doing?” Sterling asked as he held up a blindfold. 

“Trust me, candy girl,” he said, “it’s a surprise,”. He put the blindfold on her and started walking her down the street. When they got to her candy store she heard the bell ding above the door when he opened it. 

“Are we at the shop?” she asked. 

“You’ll see,” he said leading her inside, “ready?”. She nodded and he slid the blindfold off. He eyes got wide. The shelves, machines, and bins were filled with candy. From suckers to gum, to candy bars. Some brand names and some she didn’t know. 

“Gabe,” she said turning to face him, “did you do all this?”. 

“Guilty,” he said popping an orange lollypop in his mouth. 

“How did you get in?” she asked. 

“I..may have had a key made,” he lied. 

“When?” she asked. 

“That’s not important,” he said, “what do you think?”. She looked around once more and then hugged him. 

“It’s awesome Gabriel,” she said, “thank you so much,”. 

“And I talked to the person who runs things and the company will restock when you need it just let me know,”. He informed. 

“Gabe, you are so amazing for helping me,” Sterling said. 

“Hey anything for you candy girl,” he said, “how about lunch, I feel like something sweet,”. 

“You always feel like something sweet,” she said giggling as they left the shop.

--------------------

Sterling and Gabriel were sitting in her living room. He had insisted on bringing dinner. He chose Chinese food and made her give him her order earlier over the phone. When he arrived they picked a baking show to watch while they ate. She had ordered honey sesame seed chicken, veggie fried rice, and an egg roll. Gabriel brought a bottle of white wine. She was doing good. She had managed to eat a good portion without it triggering a moment. “I don’t know about you candy girl,” Gabriel said, “but I could go for dessert,”. He pulled a white box out from a bag. He opened it and inside were fresh sugar cookies. He held the box to her and she grabbed one. 

“Thank you,” she said with a small smile. As she looked at the cookie she could hear those old thoughts slipping in. “Do you really think you should eat that?” She heard the voice in her head say. “It’s bad enough you devoured all those calories for dinner,”. She tried to push the voice away as she bit into the cookie. “What about Gabriel?” the voice asked mockingly, “Do you really think he’d date a porky girl like you?”. She glanced over at him and he looked a little uncomfortable. 

Was it because she actually took a bite of the cookie? Was he testing her? “See what you did?” the voice chimed, “because of you eating so much he just wants to leave. Probably to find someone thinner, prettier,”. That had her fighting back tears. The all to familiar urge getting stronger. “Excuse me, I gotta go to the restroom,” she hurried off not noticing the whole time Gabriel was watching her. She hurried into the bathroom and closed and locked the door. She leaned against the sink looking into the mirror hanging above it. She repeated over and over again that she could fight this. She reminded herself that its been months since she’d done it. She looked over at the toilet. She could just do it once and that would be it. 

“Please don’t,” she heard a soft voice say from behind her. She looked in the mirror and Gabriel was standing in the doorway.

[life-love-geekculture]

SPN 14x20: a few (i.e. many) thoughts

Writers lie.

But, they lie in order to tell a greater truth.

At least, that’s how the proverbial wisdom goes anyway. After this episode, however, I’m not entirely sure I know what Chuck’s truth is supposed to be.

“Endings are hard. Any chapped-ass monkey with a keyboard can poop out a beginning, but endings are impossible.”

That’s my all time favorite quote from the series. Along with the addendum endings are a raging pain in the ass. Ever since his introduction, I’ve always felt an affinity for Chuck’s character. He’s a writer. So am I. He vocalized a not insignificant part of that experience. Reconciling the pain characters you create and love have to go through to get them from point A to point B. The difficulty in wrapping up a story. Hell, critics. It’s one of the reasons Metatron always drove me a bit nuts during his play at godhood. All of the technique, but none of the artistry.

I guess what I’m trying to get at is Chuck’s turn to villiany hurts a little. It’s brilliant beyond all belief, don’t get me wrong! What better way to get across the theme of free will on a meta-narrative level? But within the SPN universe it just feels anti-thetical to the story he’s been “telling”. An honest to god betrayal of it.

Don’t get me wrong. I can buy the avoided apocalypse (the first one at least) was Chuck’s intent all along. He wanted Sam and Dean to choose family. He created free will so it could be used. It plays seemlessly into the parental metaphor they’ve also attached to him. The kids have got to grow up sometime. And part of growing up means cleaning up your messes on your own. Which the Winchesters do...a lot.

This sudden shift in attitude,though, just doesn’t make sense to me. It’s less writing an ending as crumpling the document and throwing it away. If the multi-verse is supposed to represent drafts, then Chuck is the kind of writer who keeps ahold of them because some element in one could make another better (and now bringing all the alt-hunters back make sense on a meta level and my head hurts). The point is, if SPN is his final draft or his favorite why destroy it?The characters’ didn’t do what you wanted ? That’s half the fun of being a writer! The unexpected twists of creation! Inspiration turned to life! It makes no sense.

And so I tried to look at it from the God-angle perspective and it still doesn’t make sense. Chuck doesn’t change. Like he told Lucifer he’s pretty much the same as he’s always been. Yes, there’s the Old Testament’s wrathful side. The fire and brimstone and punishment, but even in the Bible that’s balanced with compassion and forgiveness. There’s the Chuck whose solution has always been: build a bigger box. The one who fought for creation to be born. Not made, born. The one who could be reasoned out of apparent wrath because the point was the lesson (the truth) he was trying to get across. And then I remembered his exchange with Castiel...

Chuck: See this is why people need to lie. It’s good. Keeps the peace, you know?

Castiel: Seems like an odd stance for...you.

Chuck: Is it? I’m a writer. Lying is kinda what we do

Chuck is God’s lie.

That is, it’s the mask he wears to keep the peace. It’s his way of walking away and letting the kids learn (and in many ways blossom) for themselves while still supervising. It’s something Metatron calls him out on when they meet in season 11 to discuss Chuck’s autobiography. Specifically, Metatron notes the emphasis on time spent in the Chuck persona was being used to hide the truth. And, it’s a truth Chuck readily confesses to Sam in the Bunker.

Jack told the universe to stop lying. Chuck comes back immediately in full father-mode. The father who demands obedience over the growth of the children (hello, season 1 & 2 parallels). These are not coincidental. Now, sure Chuck could fix creation, but could he do the same for himself? Evidence suggests...not so much. And, based on the look Billie gives Jack in the Empty, the kid done fucked up something. That was not a happy look.

So where does this leave us?

Well, with a zombie apocalypse in the immediate future and lots of ghosts to deal with next. More importantly, though, it looks like the boys may be on a mission to stop or save God himself. It’s...it’s a hell of a way to go out. The writer in me is very proud.

Before I wrap this up, though, a few thoughts on TFW 2.0:

First, I called it with Dean. Again, not a surprise. As I said, he needs to get to the edge before he can back off from it. That said, this episode wasn’t without some painful moments for him. As some of you may know, I’ve started rewatching and reviewing old episodes of SPN in preparation for the series finale. A bit serendipitous given recent events, but as part of that I rewatched episode 1x03 recently. Dean’s speech about Mary being his hero is so similar in tone to the speech he gives Lucas (the kid with the psychic link to the lake ghost) about his belief in Mary wanting him to be brave. It physically hurt to watch. The facade hiding the pain of Mary’s second death publicly cracking in a way similar to the facade hiding the pain of her first. But it also made me really excited to complete this review series and pull out those hidden parallels. Also, don’t think for a second I won’t point out how much of a nerd Dean really is. I have said it for years and now I feel vindicated!

On a more serious note, I don’t know what to say about Jack. Seeing him dead hurt (the only tears I shed in the finale to be honest). But this season left off with so many unanswered questions. Just how powerful is this kid? What are the Shadow and Billie planning? What is with Halucifer 2.0? How the fuck do souls actually work? And I’m still trying to get my head around his self-prophecy to Cas. A perfect world has always seemed, again, anti-thetical to the point of the story. The power of choice means things can’t be perfect and the only way to bring about perfection is to rob creation of choice. It’s a constant battle the Winchesters have had to fight. I’m cautiously intrigued to see how this storyline is going to be fulfilled.

So let’s talk about Sam. I knew the kid was in a bad place going in to this episode, but...DAMN!

I’m pretty solidly in the camp he wasn’t intending to kill Chuck with that wave of multi-dimensional hoo-haa. Sam’s only ever been that bad of a shot during the trials when he was sick. Still the fact he even tried it...This might be the one thing I can’t forgive Dean for this season. Even when the boys have been at their worst, Dean still allowed Sam to talk.To get his grief out. There’s been no relief since Mary’s death and Sam’s journey has inevitably played into a point I made reviewing Absence(14x18). The boys are used to dealing with death as a matter of consequence, not an accident. Which is why Sam is currently blaming himself for what happened. While it’s true Jack’s storyline for the season contributed towards Mary’s death, it’s something that could have happened regardless of if he had a soul or not. There’s no cosmic choice involved. But add it to the list of things that have gone wrong this season, and it makes sense for Sam to shift the blame to Chuck when he realized he’s been watching and apparently not doing anything (something we’ve known about Chuck for practically forever).

It’s something people do when bad things happen all the time in the real world. Chuck could have been less of an ass explaining why he couldn’t help, but he’s sorta not...wrong. Assuming he didn’t interfere with Jack to kick this mess off (and I hope to God that is not the case), it all goes back to free will. Sometimes bad things just happen. Sometimes Someone makes a stupid mistake in the heat of moment, and you just have to live with the aftermath. That said, I just kind of want to wrap the moose in a bunch of blankets and keep him protected in the Bunker forever and...

And so finally, we come to Cas. My sweet, awesome fucking angel/best dad in the whole universe. Cas wins the whole season! Give him all of the awards! The poor angel has been putting out fire after fire and I love him for it as much as I’m still terrified for him. It does crack me up a little that everyone got so pissed at the boys last episode for the Ma’lak box, and yet Cas is literally thinking of putting Jack in the Cage this episode. Like father, like son I guess. Yet, it’s clear his intention is to save him. Cas isn’t blind to the danger Jack poses, but his aim is to just contain him till a cure can be found. Not a great solution but the only one we have at the moment. And can we talk about that scene in the graveyard! Perfect imagery of a father being strict but compassionate towards his son who screwed up. All of the awards! All of them!

[nerdylittleshit]

Thoughts about Supernatural 13x01

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

Also, there might be spoilers.

First of all:

I have them. All of them. I’m glad the Moose told us two days after 12x23 that Cas would be back or otherwise I’m sure I wouldn’t have survived this episode. If their intention was to hurt us in all the best ways they sure delivered. The episode felt to me almost like a coda; it focused on the aftermatch of 12x23, on the characters and their emotions, without a lot of plot. The emotional themes of the season were established - question of idendity, family (especially fatherhood), and at least for the first episodes loss and grief. I expect that the actual mytharc will probably start of in 13x02 & 13x03. If anything it was slow, really emotional start into the new season, that I liked a lot.

Father

It was the first word spoken in the new season, and I think fatherhood is gonna be one of the central themes of the season. It certainly was of this episode. Jack first asks if Sam is his father, and even though he is not, it is clear Sam is going to become a father figure to Jack.

Now, let’s skip ahead to what I believe was the most interesting part of the episode.

Jack: Lucifer? No, that's not his name. My father is Castiel.

Sam: What?

Jack: My Mother, she said Castiel -- he would keep me safe. She said the world was a dangerous place, that's-that's why I couldn't be a baby or a child. I-that's why I had to grow up fast, that's why I chose him to be my father.

There is so much in this short exchange and I try to break it all down. First of all this brings back the theme of “family by blood vs family by choice”. Or to say it in the words of a wise man: “Family doesn’t end with blood, but it doesn’t start there either”. Jack has been defined as Lucifer’s son so much, it is one of the reasons Dean believes he is evil, and yet given the choice Jack chooses Cas as his father. This is so huge.

This goes back to Kelly and the connection she had with her son. Jack said he wasn’t talking to her but rather, he was her. I don’t think he used her as a vessel, but rather that it was some sort of symbiote. They both influenced each mother. Jack brought his mother back from the dead and he gave her the vision of Cas saving her. In return Kelly teached her son everything she thought he needed in order to survive. She taught him to grow up, because it would be safer (and that is the first time we get the “magical child grows up really fast”-trope with a logical explanation), she taught him that Cas would keep him safe. Dean says again that both Cas and Kelly were brainwashed by Jack, and I believe there is some truth to that (simply because they made Dean repeat that for the audience), but I also think it might be more complex than that. It doesn’t make Jack evil. If anything it is another example of him not being fully able to control his powers.

After 12x23 I speculated that Kelly’s video message would become important again and I think it will at some point. So far Jack has been influenced way more by his mother (he described Dagon as the bad woman) than his (biological) father. He seemed genuinely sad about her passing and distraught after he learned that Cas died as well. I’m pretty sure he will go astray eventually, but not in the long run.  “It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

Jack’s first choice was Cas (as his father), trusting the choices his mother made for him. And let’s say I’m right and Jack turns out to be a good egg in the end, this leaves the question where his place is in the narrative. Dean’s prayer made it clear that Chuck has left the building, so there is a vacancy. Jack as heaven’s new ruler? With Cas as his guide? We will see.

(Also the two angels at the lake house represented the two sides of heaven to me right now: the one side who thought Cas got what he deserved and thought of Kelly as a brood mare, and the other side, who thought Cas deserved better and thought of Kelly as a mother, meaning they value human life.)

Anyway, Jack is (obviously) still on a learning curve. He felt sorry for what he had done (to the sheriff and her son), but for a moment I actually expected him to heal Clark. Maybe he doesn’t know he can this yet. Looks like somebody should teach him that.

Also, that line from the sheriff? “There is no such thing as weird, everyone is normal in their own way.” Ok, I admit my first thought was that her son is gay (the actor actually played Kevin’s boyfriend in “Riverdale”). But I think it is a general statement about idendity, about finding out who you are and accepting yourself. Which I think can apply to Jack, Cas, Sam and Dean. Idendity has always been a big theme on the show.

We lost everything

Dean. Oh Dean. I’m really actually worried about him, because it is clear that he has lost all hope. His first instinct after leaving Cas’s body? Killing the thing he thinks is responsible. And look Dean was suspicious of Jack before, but I think with Cas still alive his reaction wouldn’t have been that extreme.

His nightmare, seeing Mary burn, re-living his trauma all over again. Believing her to be gone, because in his current state he can’t afford any kind of hope.

Not after his prayer, after realizing that Chuck won’t listen this time. After having been told that not even Jack could bring Cas back (and that angel lady just knew that that was Dean’s first instinct and used it to hurt him even more). Dean is beyond hope. No longer a hero, just a guy doing his job. Hurting himself so that he can feel anything. He is in such a dark place right now, that will probably mirror the literal dark place Cas is in now. I wouldn’t be surprised if we see him act in a way that makes it clear he no longer cares if he lives or dies.

And this is the opposite of “You and me against the world”. Because having Sam is no longer enough. Losing both Mary and Cas has given Dean the final blow. His world has grown bigger, the show has grown bigger, and the Sam-Dean-only-unit no longer works.

Dean? No, it’s Becky

(this is a Taylor joke nobody will get but I think I’m hilarious)

I’m kinda curious about Miriam, the drunk lady angel. She didn’t seem very angelic. Was she already possesed in the dinner? What was her motive with Jack? She didn’t wanted to kill him, but use him. For what?

And speaking of motives: What would Lucifer need Mary for? The only reason I came up with is to use her as a vessel, so that he could travel through her back to our world. Please don’t.

Overall I really liked the episode. I liked the way they portayed Jack so far; there are great possibilities for future storylines. It was probably one of the most painfull episodes regarding Destiel, but it was oh so good. But mostly I’m just happy to have my show back <3