#and idk it really hit me bc I guess for so long I’ve been upset with myself bc I didn’t understand why this was happening
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dreamerlynx · 1 year ago
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did Not realize how badly I’d spiraled and made myself feel like I’d ruined this class and just needed to accept I’d fail and wouldn’t graduate this semester until I went to the meeting I arranged to talk to the teacher abt if I had any chance of passing still and she like. outlined a different thing I should do for the final project which already feels more approachable n manageable And suggested I try to talk to the dean abt getting a medical extension. and like I left feeling actually hopeful. like Oh I can actually do this and she wants to help me do this.
it’s not just dream ppl r good and lovely 💚 /joke
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evansbby · 2 years ago
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Omg yeah I don’t even think I thought of him killing her because I was so devastated with the last segment of the book, but you’re so right. I’m sorry if I’m a little fuzzy on the details lol, I literally read it right when it came out because I saw that it had dropped (so 2 years ago now I think…)
But yes, idk like I read the book many years after I had read the Hunger Games, so the monstrosity of Snow wasn’t as fresh in my mind (all I had memories of was the blood roses and his weird threats to Katniss, and obviously yeah his whole endorsement of Panem and the Hunger Games). But it was endlessly fascinating to get the backstory of all of that, how any of this had started, how his family was one of the destitute elites clinging to symbols of wealth to keep their reputation as an old money/power family. I guess seeing him as a child and then young adult made me see the pressures that he was under, growing up in a society that prioritized and rewarded grit, defining it as this winning quality that was pretty much comprised of always choosing yourself, keeping up appearances, and sacrificing other people out of necessity (but at what point do they realize they’re doing it out of a sick joy, not reluctance).
So yeah, those moments with Lucy, I completely agree, I don’t remember the specifics, but I remember thinking that this person hardened by the world he grew up in was inexplicably drawn to the light of a person who insisted on being herself, optimistic and eccentric and weird and a songbird in a world where evil and cruelty and being cutthroat was celebrated. She was the antidote to that society, and in all their moments together, I couldn’t help but hope that somehow she would change him, because they were so clearly in love. I almost put the fact that I knew how he ended up in the back of my mind, and let myself fall in love with their love. So yeah, when that scene happened and he left her behind…… idk but it literally felt like some piece of my heart breaking off and shattering in my chest. It was all these pinpricks of hope that love would be enough, her love and innate goodness would heal him and break apart the stirring seeds of malevolence in his heart. But obviously, it was never going to be enough. That book genuinely messed my heart up lol, sent me back to being like love is truly dead lmao (I’m better now)
Anyways I did not mean to turn this into a long ass review but I am so fucking excited you read this book!!!!!!!!!!!! Because I was so hype when I read it when it came out and so upset because literally no one was talking about it like where were all the hunger games fans????????? And I texted my friends about Lucy and snow and the heartbreak and recommended it to them but they didn’t read it so anyways I’ve literally been saving up this angst and have yet to organically come across a single person who even knows about this book. It hits different and it’s amazing and I’m done now and sorry for throwing this unhingedness in your inbox 🫠
majorly agree with all of this! and im still reeling from the book tbh, like there’s sooo much i wanna add to this but I just can’t find the words! I too have no one to talk to about this! None of my closest friends are readers! And exactly, the fact that Snow’s love was NEVER going to be enough and we as the reader know this is just… wow. I really really wanted him to change, be better. In the end, I wanted Lucy Gray to somehow outsmart him, get the best of him. Well, she didn’t but at least she found out the truth about him before she died. And you’re right about the feeling of your heart shattering… like I was reading it in a Starbucks bc I was running errands and I didn’t have the patience to go home and when I finished it I literally just sat there staring into space. That last scene by the lake haunts me. How Snow just… betrayed and left behind and killed the two people who loved him most: Sejanus and especially Lucy Gray. HE LOVED HER. But it wasn’t a pure love and it wasn’t enough 😭❤️
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leviiattacks · 4 years ago
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hi bestie!! pls pretty pls do a levi one where he takes care of a sick y/n im feeling a bit under the weather and im getting kinda scared bc of covid :<< anything to help calm my nerves pls? thank you <3
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author note :: get well soon anon :-( i’m super sick rn too (when am i not tho </3) so i get how it is. this isn’t that great because i wrote it pretty quick but i hope it eases youuu :-) this is just pure fluff and sappy stuff and yup yup MODERN LEVI BC... listen i have a soft spot for modern levi word count :: some how i got to 1.4k ????? idk how i always go over the expected word count i have in my head 
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it’s literally been YEARS since the last time you were sick
if you really dig through the depths of your memory you’d say maybe you were last sick when you were seven???
it’s that or your memory is just not great
either way, you really do not want to bother anyone with your sickness so you decide to hole up in your room for the entire day
you don’t even tell levi about it because you know he’ll drop everything for the sake of your comfort
the only problem is that midway through the day you’ve become so bedridden you can’t even begin to fathom attending classes tomorrow
you guess you’ll be taking another day off
as that thought crosses your mind your bedroom door bursts open
“i...” levi lets out a long sigh and you look at him dazed from your pounding headache
you’re surrounded by scrunched up tissues and your cold meds have been left untouched
“i’m gonna get you sick too. back away.” you’re frowning and signalling with your hands that you want him out
your nose is stuffy and you’re sniffling but levi just rolls his eyes before he sits next to you on the floor
buried in your duvet you look a little like a burrito and he laughs at that
“do you know where the thermometer is? i’ll check on your fever.”
he’s looking at you waiting for an answer
you think for a second and then you try to rummage through the timeline of today’s events.
to be fair you’re a little disoriented but for some unknown reason you feel yourself get a little teary eyed
maybe it’s a mix of your upcoming deadlines looming over you or perhaps it’s missing a really important class today
but it’s so sudden you don’t even know why your body is making you act so irrationally but that’s what fevers do
“i think i” you sniff and then the waterworks flood out of you. your brain can’t adjust to the severity of your headache and your urge to sleep is higher than ever
honestly you don’t cry very much so to see the tears worries levi almost immediately
“im sorry i misplaced it.” you croak out, your voice is all scaly and weird, you hate it
stupidly you get upset about that too
don’t people sound hot when they’re sick?? why do you sound like an angry bear...?
this is not fair.
“and i’m stressed.” you blow your nose but it continues to drip despite your constant attempts to stop it
nose bright red and hair disheveled levi’s eyes soften when he sees your workbook laying at the foot of your bed
notes are scribbles in random corners and your mind map is a chaotic mess but you’re trying your best given the circumstances
god, even when you’re sick you’re working hard. you’re ridiculous but in the most endearing way known to man
“alright, lay down.” he runs a hand through your hair to fix the birds nest before he adjusts your pillows and places your head down gently
“i’m sorry i’ve lost the-”
levi’s index finger presses against your lips and he shushes you
“get some rest, please.”
you comply but not before giving him a playful glare
his warm palms move to hold your face. cheeks squished together he swipes your tears away
“i’ve got some soup on the stove you’ll be good in no time.” his soft reassurance is comforting and protective
nodding you flutter your eyes shut.
you’re unable to sleep but levi’s presence is enough to ease you even if it’s just a little you do feel better
fifteen minutes pass and levi returns he’s got you a hot cup of tea and the soup is nowhere to be seen
“i had an accident in the kitchen... so have some tea instead.”
you simply laugh it off, he’s trying his best and you’re alright with not having to be fed tomato soup
tomato soup..... it’s sick and twisted it tastes so bad
you recall having to force yourself to down an entire bowl last christmas after catching a cold
never ever again will you do that
anyways, pea soup superiority it’s the only valid type !!!
levi likes tomato soup though that’s the only reason it sits in bulk in one of the kitchen cabinets
he brushes the mountain of tissues on your bedside table away, he’ll dispose of them later
placing the cup of tea where the aforementioned tissues once were you then realize he’s brought you a slice of madeira cake to have alongside it
at this your eyes brighten you love madeira cake it’s so soft and buttery and simple but it’s just REALLY GOOD???
anyway, you definitely recommend everyone to have some it’s a solid 10/10
“picked some up on my way here.”
your heart swells affectionately
no one will ever love you as hard as he does
to be honest, the little things he does keep you grounded and you don’t really know where you’d be without him
he always pays attention to the things you love, always carries you from the couch to your bed, always tucks you in, always lingers a little just to make sure you’re sound asleep
you know about that last bit because on occasion you have stirred awake on accident
every single time he strokes your hair and holds you close ushering you back to sleep
again, you don’t know if it’s your fever making you emotional or the warm feeling of being loved so HARD?? it’s like whack a mole the only difference is being repeatedly hit by bursts of affection
not really a great analogy but your brain is fried right now and it’s the best you’ve got
levi sits next to you making the mattress shift and you then plop your head against his chest
“drink up.”
he hands you the cup of tea but you nuzzle your face into his neck instead forcing him to place it back down
“what are you doing?” he asks.
one of his hands draws circles onto your back soothing you and the other hand is fiddling around with the packaging of your cold meds, he looks to be reading the description just to make sure you can take them
the feeling of his t-shirt under your cheek fades away and you find yourself staring up at him
“get here.” he softly murmurs
rather than pressing a hand against your forehead he swoops down
at first his hands feel your face and neck
“you’re burning up.” he frowns and then he does it
he presses his forehead against yours and you swear you could stop breathing and pass out right then and there
“the fever’s getting worse, why didn’t you call me earlier i had to find out you were sick from-”
“i love you.”
he freezes.
“of course you love me but that’s not what we’re talking about right now.” he snorts and looks you right in the eye.
suddenly you’re kinda just a teeny-weeny bit self-conscious about your dark under eyes but you push that thought to the back of your mind
“no i mean. i really fucking love you levi.” the expletive only makes you sound more serious especially since you always scold him when he uses vulgar language
it looks as if his mouth moves to say it back but you stop him
“you don’t have to say it again. i’m saying it because you said it first.” you explain through your drowsy state
“when did i say it first?”
the fever must be really getting to you is what he’s thinking
“your actions spoke for you.”
he ever so slightly jabs you with his elbow before he carefully places your head back down onto his chest
“you’re so sappy.” he pecks your cheek and you hum silently still unable to breathe out of one of your nostrils
“i know but you’re sappier.”
levi doesn’t respond because he knows you’re correct
:-)
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jesusology · 3 years ago
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Haruka theory and thoughts under the read more! just me going through the MV and voicing aloud some thoughts, let me know what you guys think too! 
(*´▽`*)also this is super long i
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opening scene! the necklace is obviously important to him. also it’s very cute. nothing to say abt this in particular but i just think it’s really cute
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love the background choice and how the room looks in general. gives me a big liminal space vibe. i promise i’m getting to actual theorizing in a second here just
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love how the scenery from the window changes when it switches back and forth between him and his younger self (?). i’ve tried searching what the symbolism is of a red sky (if there is any) and i did see that it could mean “the end” or it could be symbolic of danger and what’s to come.
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ugh i love the water thing going on. first off, i’m a huge sucker for water imagery and the like and so you KNOW i go gaga for this. it has to be because haruka feels like he’s constantly drowning, like he’s suffocating on his emotions. 
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i’ve watched this MV at least fifty times and this still gets me upset. pretty obvious that what’s going on here is some form of emotional abuse as well as a co-dependence on Haruka’s part. Haruka clearly has a learning disability and it’s nothing he can control but the people in his life are blaming him for it and so he blames himself, too.
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evidence of emotional abuse, being told things like how he’s pitiful or not smart, etc and of course Haruka is going to believe that hence why he’s always calling himself dumb and feeling like when he’s around others he’ll only make them sad because that’s exactly how it was for him at home. 
also like how the background is all gray and gloomy and there’s his childish scribbling of a monster (?) hovering over. could be symbolic of a threat to what’s his normal life, like it could end so suddenly
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the world around Haruka is changing. his parents are changing (i’m assuming they’re divorced but i don’t think that’s ever made explicitly clear), he’s growing up, but he also feels exactly the same maturity wise. he may be increasing in age but he still is exactly the same and the change is unnerving to Haruka and it’s become noticeable to his parents that he’s not “growing up” and doing “normal” things. his learning disability is holding him back from becoming what’s so normal for society, what’s accepted in society. 
so he’s viewed as “weak”, it’s his ‘weakness’. and society eats the weak. 
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i feel like Haruka’s parents (perhaps namely his mom)(or maybe it was both his mom and his dad but Haruka’s thinking more about his mom because he was closer to her) were becoming fed up with Haruka’s inability to learn what is supposed to be ~oh so natural~ and ~normal~ so they quickly began to get frustrated. also, that drawing behind Haruka appears later i think....
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Haruka realizes and recognizes what’s going on and this, in turn, makes him have feelings of self-loathing. why can’t he do what anyone else can? why is everything around him so different but he’s the same? why is he getting taller, having more expectation placed upon him when it’s just too hard for him? Haruka is grappling with these thoughts constantly and it’s making him feel like he’s drowning and no one cares to pull him up out of the water.
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i’m gonna be honest, i have no clue what to make of the girl with him at the fireworks but i DO know that the fireworks are really important to him because i recall him answering that it was his cherished memory and he goes on to say the most expensive thing he’s bought was cotton candy and i’ll venture to say that it was at this fireworks festival. 
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i got nothing to add to this but i just love that line and it is important for you all to know this
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are those yellow roses or marigolds? i’m thinking maybe they’re yellow roses which can mean either “jealousy” or “thinking of you” 
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i could be going off a wrong assumption here, but hey this is all just guess-work anyway... did he accidentally push the girl? and it somehow led to her death or at the very least a severe injury? i’m willing to bet it was more of an injury than death, but even so. 
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and if he DID push her, now it’s coming to light? like he did that, it was his fault (even if it was an accident, he would no doubt blame himself), and he’s a bad person who is only good for causing harm to others.
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as someone who also sleeps with like five stuffed bunny animals, solidarity between me and Haruka. i want that rabbit it looks so cute
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YAA there it is again! i don’t know what the heck it means but there it is!
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the dog gives me pause because i’m not entirely sure what to make of it but i DO think this is where it’s important to remind people that the MV’s are based upon the prisoner’s own perception (i think. if i’m wrong, please correct me) and so we’re getting a lot of this from a biased standpoint. 
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again, emotional abuse that might seem “”””Harmless””””” to others but it’s anything EXCEPT. 
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did the dog run away? was he given the dog and Haruka now blames himself for letting the dog run off and perhaps the dog got hit by a car? (;﹏;) i feel like something that’s important is just how much self-hatred Haruka has and his tendency to blame himself for outside factors. i don’t think he LITERALLY killed the dog, but he feels as though he did so it’s become figurative. 
also as far as his dislikes being “children” and “animals”, i think he’s jealous of them, maybe? like that could tie into the yellow roses and their symbolism signifying jealousy and envy. he’s jealous of the inherent “innocence” associated with them. he’s getting older, so that “innocence” that’s accepted with THEM is no longer being used with HIM. Haruka has what’s deemed as “childish” interests and i get the feeling he’s made to feel badly about it. no doubt his disability is tied in with this.
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there’s those flowers again. and Haruka tries to drown his wants/needs in order to try and “repent” for being the way he is. it’s HIS fault, so he has to think everything is fine even though he’s NOT fine and he’s going to break at some point under the pressure of society/his parents/everything. 
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Haruka makes an effort to try to understand things in the beginning, but everytime he questions something that’s really ~obvious~ to everyone else he’s met with disappointed gazes and harsh critiques. so he stops trying to understand what he’s apparently ~lacking~ and he stops asking questions because that’s it! he’s dumb! he doesn’t get it so why bother!
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i feel like by this point any praise to Haruka is better than nothing. rather than indifference or being ignored, he’d even rather be called “crazy”. i think Haruka just wants ANY attention be it good or bad - what he hates the most is feeling invisible or as if he could disappear and it wouldn’t matter to anyone.
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i still feel like the blood on his hands is more figurative than literal and for reasons i’ve already explained so there’s no need to rehash it like i’m trying to meet an essay word count requirement
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me too Haruka (;へ:)
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his feelings of sadness and being unwanted turn to anger onto HIMSELF and it is what snaps the very thin thread he’s been living on 
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choking himself ties into the water motif we’ve got going on here. the drowning, the suffocation - no longer being able to breathe because everything is broken and it’s unfixable. and he’s the reason why.
i feel like his crime is somehow suicide/attempted suicide but if it IS suicide then i really don’t know how he could be with the other prisoners? unless they’re all dead and this is some form of purgatory or something but otherwise? i don’t know. i just feel like it could be suicide
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now i will also say this. the puddle of blue surrounding “him” has to be blood and that kind of makes me wonder if i’ve been barking up the wrong tree here but. idk any ideas anyone else has on this would be appreciated and also please talk to me about MILGRAM because i’ve got a badddd obsession 
what Haruka wants more than anything is attention and love. he wants love and yet it’s difficult for him to accept love because he doesn’t seem to have any “experience” with love. in the questions asked to him, he doesn’t even seem to really know what “love” actually is. he considers “liking” and “loving” to be the same thing, there’s no difference to him. if he’s getting attention it might not even matter to him because at this point something is better than nothing. 
so yes! this is messy. and it’s perhaps even incoherent. if you read this thanks for coming to my TED talk i love Haruka so much. it’s probably become obvious that i’m a little biased bc i relate to him a lot. let me know your own theories too or thoughts on this, i’d like to know hehe (*´▽`*)
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palukoo · 3 years ago
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ooh Idea- donna is AMY’s assistant for the au asks?
ooh boy okay!! this got really fucking long because of course it did! yk, the post said 5+, so!! there’s like 11 bullet points that are all very long under a cut
donna still does go to the bartlet campaign first. i think she maybe leaves a little bit in because she realizes she doesn't like campaigning that much, because you aren't getting anything done yet, and she wants to be getting things done now. or maybe, actually, when she leaves the bartlet campaign for her boyfriend, she's too embarassed to go back after breaking up with him, and ends up looking for other ways of working in politics
how she ends up working for amy, and where amy is working are really, really funny conceptually to me. because i'm a little obsessive about where amy is working when but the timelines don't make a ton of sense? she'd either be at now or the wlc, probably, and either is fine bc tww is also pretty vague on what amy actually like functionally does? she's a political director iirc, but i make her more of a lobbyist, bc she does some lobbying in canon, but she also gives speeches and does debate prep? idk. anyways, i like the idea of donna just going into the wlc or now bc women's rights! but i also think it's kind of hysterical if it's more pointed/less random, like josh either suggests it or mentions amy in passing and donna is like oh that sounds fun. i feel like she may actually apply in this case, but who knows? anyways, amy is impressed by her work ethic and sense of humor and her experience with the bartlets and josh (and her reasons for leaving, if its about not liking campaigns) and hires her on the spot
oh god, the banter is so fun to think about. i mean, i've genuinely written so much about just like. how amy and donna bounce off of each other, because it's fun, and because it's them it's probably flirtatious, but amy would absolutely not genuinely make a move on her assistant. i think they also both help a lot with the other's self doubt or whatever, with donna pushing amy to do more but also to take care of herself and take a step back sometimes, and amy just showing that she cares about donna's opinions and insights into whatever they're working on, and sort of forgetting that she's her assistant and not her co-conspirator, and sort of calling donna on her constant bad dates in early seasons, too ("don't go on that date, donna" "jealous?" and maybe she is, sort of, a bit, but that's really not the point. "disappointed in your taste. or your concept of yourself." "what's that mean?" "you could do better." "could I?" "yes." "then give me something better to do tonight, amy." and amy doesn’t ask her to stay) (don't think about amy finding out about dr. freeride and the conversation that would follow don't think about it don't think about it)
oh but things get fun once we get to a point where amy's there in canon, because you now have donna working with josh again in a roundabout way, and she left him, and she still feels guilty about it, and she can sort of see the glimpse into what it would've been like, if she had stayed. and amy and josh are like. just a mess, obviously. my brain is also stuck on the concept of that conversation amy and josh have in women of qumar but in reverse ("are you dating donna?" "no." "i heard you might be" "i'm not" "she's cute." "she's my assistant." but it also has a lot more. implications for him to hear that than for her to, so. that's fun). i kind of have no idea what amy and josh's relationship would look like in this au so. not gonna dwell on that. (except to say that the concept of donna "gather ye rose buds"-ing amy about josh is Really fucking funny, partially bc amy would just be like "he's a thorn not a bud")
when amy gets fired, donna's upset with josh about it, because she's spent the last... three and a half? years working with amy, so she's probably more on amy's side here, even if she will admit it was kind of reckless. donna's given a chance to stay at the wlc, but she goes with amy, which amy is baffled and terrified by, because she doesn't know what to do with that kind of loyalty (”you’ll never lose me amy” “please don’t say that”) and because she... doesn't have a job, really, at the moment. she pays donna, anyways, and makes sure she has a job with the stackhouse campaign with her if she wants it. donna takes it, and doesn't question why amy's doing it. she doesn't question why amy leaves, either, and amy doesn't get why she comes with her, again.
around when amy gets hired by abbey (and brings donna on with her if she wants it, which of course she does) amy kind of snaps and asks her why she keeps working with her, why she won't stay somewhere and climb up a ladder or go anywhere, she's qualified as hell and could and should be working a better job, should be doing anything other than following amy over cliff after cliff, should not be working for her at this point, and... donna kind of thinks its obvious. she loves working with amy, loves that they do new things all the time, that the work feels important, loves the opportunities amy has given her and that the work feels important. amy sort of lets it rest and throws herself into work with abbey, and we finally get to have donna with the whole group again somewhat, but its a conversation that they sort of keep having without really having, until donna finally snaps and says something like "do you want me to quit?" or "do you want to fire me?" or "do you want me to leave?" idk, and amy maybe says yes, and maybe doesn't answer, and that's commencement (of course the idea of donna and josh doing "you have to get amy" and "are you in love with amy" is also really. interesting to me bc of how you'd have to make it work and i don't not have thoughts)
once things have settled, a little bit, after zoey's gotten back, donna goes to amy and tells her like "i'll resign. if you don't want me here... i'm not gonna make you fire me, but if you don't want me here, i'll go." and amy is a mess of a person, so she's like. "okay." and donna's naturally upset by that, and oh, this is happening during constituency of one, by the way! so donna leaves, amy gets yelled at by jed, goes to josh's office and sort of has a breakdown about everything, and when he says "apologize, you gotta apologize" he means to jed and to donna, and she goes to jed and quits and everything ('this building isn't very conducive to relationships’ hits here, huh) and tells him that he or abbey should hire donna, that she's incredible and one of the best people she's ever worked with, and she leaves.
donna takes the job (i'm not sure about specifically what job? i do really like the concept of her being abbey's cos for a lot of reasons but idk if she'd be like "qualified" for it at this point? maybe she gets taken on as like an interim cos for her but abbey just keeps her, anyways. or it could be something in legislative affairs bc i loved angela and donna working together) and feels too weird and sort of hurt to reach out to amy even though she does get amy well enough to sort of get it, she's also too insecure to really get it. someone mentions, in passing, at some point, that amy told jed to give donna a job, and she's sort of touched and sort of insulted and it's all complicated, and abbey or whoever reassures her that she has this job because she deserves this job, not just because amy recommended her. very highly.
cj probably points out a lot of stuff about amy and their relationship to donna in my no exit analog bc i love a good bottle episode, and cj being friends with both of them and being super perceptive is so important to me. i will also not be discussing gaza here bc i honestly don't think in this au that donna would be going
she and amy run into each other either at some fundraiser thing abbey and amy are both speaking at, or in some lobbying meeting or something, and amy's glad to see her doing well, and it assuages a little of her guilt over the whole thing. they have a really awkward conversation, something like "are you enjoying the new job?" "yeah, i really am. i guess i should thank you, since i hear you helped me get it." "you don't... it kind of felt like the least i could do." "yeah, well. thanks, anyways." "i miss you." "then why did you tell me to leave?" "you're the best assistant and probably the best friend i've ever had, you know." "so you decided to ensure i was no longer either?" "i was kind of only going for the first one." “well, you always were an overachiever.” and then they have to like. go and do their jobs bc they’re very busy people. but things are a little better between them now
finally, at some point, god knows when or how or why, donna’s probably made a joke about it, or something, and amy just says something like “i didn’t want you to work for me anymore because i knew you could do better, could do more, than being my assistant, but i didn’t want to tell you to leave.” and donna, who gets amy just nods and says “i appreciate that. i really did love working with you, but i appreciate that. could’ve said that then.” and amy laughs and rolls her eyes, and donna gives her a look. “is that the only reason you didn’t want me to work for you anymore?” and amy just shakes her head, and donna starts to say something, expects to have to say something, but amy kisses her and says “i’m really glad you don’t work for me anymore.” and donna laughs and says “i am, too.”
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because-of-a-friend · 4 years ago
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Boyfriend!DK Fluff
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Thanks for the requests anons! I hope you guys like it! Jun and Jeonghan have been requested so the rest of the series will hopefully be out soon! (Sorry requests are taking so long, I’m transitioning between jobs right now so I’m technically working two and I’m a little stressed, so idk if this one is even that good... sorry guys!)
MASTERLIST
Coups | Jeonghan | Joshua | Jun | Hoshi | Wonwoo | Woozi | DK | Mingyu | Minghao | Seungkwan | Vernon | Dino
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DK feels unbelievably ridiculous and stupid
He cannot believe he’s actually about to do what he’s going to do
He turns around several times to make sure no one is around
He even came out there in the middle of the night to avoid anyone watching him
But there he is, standing in front of a water fountain, holding a coin, getting ready to make a wish
He feels so childish
But also at this point, he feels as if making a wish is the only choice he has left
After one last look to make sure no one is watching him, he holds the coin up, whispers his wish, presses a kiss to the coin and throws it in
He sighs at the insignificant “plop” sound, hangs his head for a moment, then turns to leave
Right as he moves, he hears someone yell
“HEY LOOK OUT”
And then a bicycle hits him
Well it doesn’t actually hit him
Just kind of brushes his side and knocks him off balance
But later he tells the boys that it full on hits him when he’s recounting the story and wants to be dramatic
But the encounter also throws the cyclist, aka you, off your balance so now both of you are on the ground
It’s honestly not that bad
He just scraped up his hands and you have one big scrape on your leg
But there’s no serious injuries on either of you
You get up immediately
“Shit, I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you at first. Are you ok?”
You rush over to where he is on the ground and help him sit up
He doesn’t really say anything at first, just sits there in kind of a daze
So you start to panic
“Do you need me to call you an ambulance?”
There’s one more beat of silence
Then he starts laughing 
And you’re like ????
“I didn’t think I hit you that hard, did you hit your head?”
He shakes his head as he keeps laughing
“No, no, I’m fine, I think I was just shocked for a moment”
You start laughing too but mostly out of relief
He finally composes himself and looks up at you
“Are you ok?”
You’re not sure why this random stranger asking you if you’re ok makes your heart skip a beat when it’s a totally normal thing for someone to ask in that situation
“Hey, I’m the one who hit you, you shouldn’t be worried about me”
DK stands up before he responds
“Yeah but that scrape looks pretty bad, you should definitely get some disinfectant on that asap”
You look down at your leg and realize he’s right
His phone buzzes and he looks down at it
“Oh, I’ve got to go. You’re really ok, right?”
You nod, “Yeah, I’m fine, what about you? You’re ok too?”
He nods and smiles brightly at you, “Yeah, I’m good! Get home safely!”
And then he runs off
You honestly think about him nonstop for the next week
The handsome stranger you accidentally hit with your bike
You kick yourself for not getting his name at least
But once the week is up, you just kind of sigh and tell yourself that you’ll probably never see him again so you should just get over it
Then the next day
You’re on a street corner waiting for the crosswalk light to turn green
You look down at your phone for literally two seconds
You hear someone yell
“C’mon DK, hurry up!”
Then suddenly
WOOM
Something hits you and you fall to the ground and your breath is knocked out of you
“Oh my god! I’m so sorry!”
You look up to see who ran into you
“Fountain boy?”
When he sees that it’s you, he breaks out into a grin
“It’s you, the cyclist!”
“DK seriously, we need to go!”
You look over to see another boy waving him towards a van
DK leans over and pulls you up off the ground
“Are you ok?”
“Yeah, I think so, is this revenge for what happened at the fountain?”
He lets out a laugh
“No, I promise I’m not the type to get revenge”
“Alright, I believe you... DK”
His eyes widen
“How’d you know my name?”
“That other boy over there that looks like he’s about to lose it keeps calling it out”
DK turns around to see Woozi stomping over towards him
“Oh right, I guess I’ve got to go”
Woozi grabs DK, apologizes to you for interrupting and starts to drag him towards the van
Before Woozi can drag him away fully, DK turns back towards you 
“Hey before I go, what’s your name?”
He can barely hear you call it over the crowds of people around talking and Woozi scolding him but he thinks it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard 
“[Y/N]!”
DK grins through the whole van ride
After that, you two run into each other all the time
You bump into him on an elevator
He gives up his seat for you on a bus
You accidentally spill your coffee on his shoes
He sends your report papers flying into the wind
You trip over his feet when he’s sitting around waiting for Mingyu and Minghao to be done shopping at the mall
You two learn a little bit more about each other with the opportunities presented every time you see each other
He finally asks for your number when the two of you end up volunteering at the same charity event
“It’s about time, Fountain Boy, I was thinking you were never gonna make a move”
“[Y/N], my name is DK and you know it”
“I like Fountain Boy better”
He just grins at you
Your first date is nice
Everything feels easy with DK
Mostly because it feels like you’ve already known each other for years somehow
He always makes you laugh 
The more time you spend with him
The more you realize he’s truly the kindest, most genuine person you’ve ever met
He’s always so considerate of you and your feelings
Always making little sacrifices to make you more comfortable or more happy
Honestly every little action of his touches your heart
The idea of ever hurting or upsetting or disappointing the other seems unacceptable to both of you
So your whole relationship is that way
Just the two of you always being so completely selfless for the sake of the other
DK is honestly the softest boyfriend ever
He’s just so grateful for every moment he gets to spend with you so he tries his best to show it in every way possible
He’s always smiling around you
Because even when he’s had a bad day, he knows you’re going to be supportive, listen to him, and offer help and advice
You become his safe place so he always feels comfortable and content when he’s with you
The other boys love you
They didn’t think there was anyone as kind and selfless as DK, but here you are
They love how much you do for DK
And you also do nice things for them all the time too, so they have no complaints
Sometimes DK gets jealous of how well you get along with the boys
But not in the way you expect
“I thought you guys would say something like ‘make sure they treat you right’ or ‘only the best can date our Dokyeom’ or ‘if you hurt DK, you’re in for it’”
“Seriously DK? They just made us all cookies for no reason and brought them up to the dorm themselves, if you two break up we might keep them instead of you”
DK is grumpy™️ for the rest of the day lol
But DK seriously adores you
I feel like this is obvious, but he’s super cuddly
He’s kind of like a cat
You’ll be working on something on your laptop
And he’ll just push himself into your arms and giggle as you roll your eyes and run your hands through his hair
You’re showered in kisses every single day
The type of boyfriend where whenever you say you’re cold, he’s suddenly pushing one of his sweatshirts over your head and piling blankets on you
If you get sick, he does. not. leave. your. side.
A super doting boyfriend
He gets nervous all the time still 
When you meet up for dates or when you take new steps in your relationship
He does that thing where he bounces his legs up and down and gets all jittery
But it’s honestly super sweet
Even when you’re dating and well into your relationship
You find yourself unable to get away from each other
He wishes you luck one morning when you have a job interview but then you run into him there bc SVT is having a meeting with someone in the same office building
He says he doesn’t have time one day to come see you bc his schedule is super busy but then you end up on the same bus as him and some of the other members on their way to one of their chores for the day
It’s like the universe is making sure you two are weaved into every part of each other’s lives
And you love being a part of each other’s lives
You live for when he opens up more about what it means to be an artist and what writing music and performing is like for him
DK just kind of casually sings all the time so you get to hear his voice whenever you want
Your all time favorite is when you’re laying in bed next to him, playing with his hands and he’s just singing softly
It makes you feel so safe tbh
But then sometimes he has to go on vocal rest and you have to do all sorts of ridiculous things to make sure he lets his vocal chords get the rest they need
I’m talking
The quiet game
Tape over the mouth
Making up funny little penalties every time he starts singing or talking too loud
Make out sessions where every time he puts strain on his vocal chords you just push him down and kiss him until he remembers that he needs to be quiet lol
Sometimes you’ll just guide him to the bed and soothe him to sleep bc you know that he as a whole needs tons of rest, not just his throat
And you catch yourself just lovingly staring at him as you run your fingers through his hair methodically to coax him into a nap
When he’s half asleep he gets sort of talkative and he says the cutest things
You don’t try to trick him into saying anything that he wouldn’t be comfortable saying to you fully awake
But sometimes you ask him questions about random things to get his honest answer just for fun
“Seokminnie”
“Yeah?”
“What were you doing that night?”
“What night?”
“At the water fountain when we first met, what were you doing out there?”
“Making a wish”
You can tell by his voice that he’s about to fall asleep
You can’t help but smile at his sweet face as his eyes flutter closed when you run your thumb over his cheek
“A wish for what?”
You wait for a moment, thinking maybe he fell asleep before he heard your question
But he’s just awake enough to give out one more answer
“To meet my soulmate”
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phleb0tomist · 3 years ago
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Okay, so about a year ago, I was hospitalized for hyperglycemia after the EMTs in my ambulance eventually realized I wasn't having a panic attack and that my blood sugar of over 300 (normal is around 80-100) was maybe probably something to worry about, idk. I couldn't move--my blood was fermenting in my body and I couldn't open my hands, which were shriveling up. It was like the pins and needles in your arm/leg from falling asleep, except it was my whole body (mostly my hands) and super painful. It took hours of laying there with some kind of drip for me to feel better.
What had happened was I went a day without eating (eating is kinda hard for me bc I have no appetite a lot) and then shit hit the fan when I, super hungry and lethargic, ate like two or three bowls of sugar cereal the next morning. Yeah. I put my body into shock with fucking cinnamon toast crunch. Except it turns out I'm not even diabetic (type 1) even tho hypo/hyperglycemia is a diabetic thing. Even the fancy specialist doctor they brought in was basically like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
So there's probably something wrong with me but no one knows what. Sometimes I'll wake up at like 3am breathing hard with my ears ringing and I have to stagger to the kitchen like I'm drunk to sip milk until it goes away. I just can't go very long without eating like a normal person.
Anyway, I guess I never considered I had trauma until I found this blog. Like I'll hear an ambulance far away and I'll keep thinking stuff like "it's coming for me" and I haven't eaten any kind of cereal with sugar since, which is the dumbest thing to have trauma over. My dad blames me 100% for this incident and made me pay half the $3,000 bill (ambulances suck). Sometimes he tries to joke with me about it. At least I'm not scared of needles anymore, lmao. There were so many during this whole thing.
Sorry for writing you a novel. I tried to keep this as short as possible, I just wanted to share/vent. It's just nice to know that there are other ppl who feel this way.
Hello <3 <3
that sounds so awful, like genuinely terrifying. I completely understand it affecting you a lot, I’d be surprised if it didn’t. I’m sorry it happened to u.
stuff like that is a big shock to the mind, not just the body. And from what I’ve seen and experienced, ur brain makes associations, so when they’re set off, it sends ur system into panic. maybe it could help to talk to a counsellor, but ik that’s not possible for everyone. That money thing with your dad sounds so frustrating too :(
I’m glad there’s some comfort in knowing ur not alone. medical trauma or scary health experiemces are really common, and they can affect people deeply. a lot of ppl here have been through the same thing, there’s a lot of solidarity and love around!!
Triggers aren’t dumb and it’s okay to share ur feelings! I just hope that the upset from this eases. good luck with absolutely everything <3
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gas-station-trackphone · 4 years ago
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Fic Recs/Mandatory Reading for Reddie fans
Here is an incomplete list of some of my favorite Reddie fics on ao3, because i cannot get over the sheer talent of this fandom’s wonderful writers! A lot of these are the Greatest Hits that you’ll find on almost every fic list, but that’s why I consider them mandatory reading. like if you haven’t read some of these, what are you doing?
the years go by like days by georgiestauffenberg, rated M
the 27 years in between, but better because richie and eddie stay together. every time i think of this fic, i think of that lady gaga meme where she’s like “brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, etc” and maybe it’s bc this is one of the first reddie fics i ever read, but this one is always gonna be my favorite
broken record by spunknbite, rated E
the mother of all time loop fics. every reddie veteran gets chills at the phrase “the house on Neibolt was still standing”
literally everything by stitchy
like seriously just clear a few days bc you’re not gonna want to stop reading this author once you start. no other author has made me literally fucking cackle in one paragraph and sob in the next like this one, pls do yourself a favor and devour all their works like i did 
the night we met (take me back) by camerasparring, rated E
ch2 fix-it where eddie shows up at richie’s door alive and with no memory. great slow burn with a wonderfully conflicted richie, 10/10
let’s hear it for my baby! series by cloudings, rated E
OOOOOOOHHH boy! a modern teen!reddie grindr AU that’s both steamy AND sweet?? more like a fucking blessing amen hallelujah
a heart that laughter has made sweet by marjaani, rated E
another lovely teen!reddie fic that’s got it all! sweet, stupid boys, humor, a teeny bit of angst, and some 5-alarm fire smut with some top eddie, as a treat
keep talking. i’ll keep walking toward the sound of your voice. by theappleppielifestyle, rated T
angst with a happy ending is my favorite, and this one is just fantastic. so sweet, so sad! and stan is featured as eddie’s afterlife buddy and idk about y’all but i cannot get enough of stanley uris in my reddie fics. read this, then read all this author’s reddie fics, they’re all amazing
collateral by loosecannon, sheepknitssweater, rated E
a post-ch2 fic that i guess could be classified as fix-it, BUT with some very interesting twists. they beat the clown, everyone lives, but no one really gets the tropey happy ending. the WIP sequel is also incredible and i live for the updates.
the greater fool  series by mischiefmanager, mostly rated T with some E
this is a series i’ll reread a lot bc it’s so fucking good. follows young reddie into early adulthood, mostly a bunch of cute shit where they figure out themselves and their relationship. also contains the single best teen reddie fic in existence, he came in through the window, but reading the whole series is a must
brokeback derry and everything else by Amuly, rated E
27 years in between, richie and eddie reconnect in their 20s and meet back up in derry twice a year to remember and love each other before going back to their lives and forgetting. so much pain. there’s a lot of sweet stuff in there, but you can see shit’s gonna get complicated from miles away and the anticipation almost gave me stomach ulcers (in a good way). ultimate angst with a happy ending.
let me name the stars for you by playedwright, rated M
speaking of angst with a happy ending...Martian AU!!!!! this one fucked me up in the best way, i literally called my roommate at 2am to vent to her about my emotions after reading it. i go back and reread chapter 8 just to be overwhelmed by it, and it makes me cry every time. plus, there are awesome sequels/companion pieces in the series! read this, i beg you!
walk through fire for you by hyruling, rated T
unwind after all that angst with some cute, drunk, confused eddie being very upset when he finds out richie is engaged. richie only teases him a little before pointing out the matching ring on eddie’s finger. 
in the heat of the summer (you're so different from the rest) by kaboomslang, rated E
post-ch2 slow burn with tags that really say it all, including but not limited to: eddie moves to california and richie is a mess, Eddie Kaspbrak’s Hot Girl Summer, and cute middle aged man dates
pivotal moments by danfanciesphil, polypocket, rated E
high school reddie has a sort of fwb thing goin on, but emotions get in the way. featuring wonderful bevchie friendship, hella miscommunication, cute double dates, high eddie, and a happy ending
like a bullet in the back by jerry_duty, rated M
adult idiots in love! a personal favorite trope of mine! slow burn with a fair helping of angst but a really great ending. richie stays with eddie in new york while he’s there on business, and it takes these losers SO LONG to figure it out but the way they dance around it is very cute
no sense of living without aim [WIP] by liesmyth, rated E
richie and eddie meet on grindr in the 27 years between and hey, whadda ya know, they fall in love! i really love this fic but i’m pretty sure it’s been abandoned. i’ve had it open on my phone browser for like 3 months with no update but i still check it regularly bc i’m pathetic and this fic is just so good i’m DYING to know what happens next so read at ur own risk
a strange sense of familiarity [WIP] by Katranga, rated E
another “they meet and fall in love without remembering” fic, and even though it’s not complete yet, it gets regular updates. oh, also, i’m obsessed with it. they’re long distance fuck buddies who can’t admit they’re in love, and then they get hit with the childhood memories! and everyone lives! what’s not to love!  also PLEASE read kisses take like mint and every other reddie work by this author, they are all fantastic
adult friends by sudowoodo, rated T
AU where adult reddie meet at a first aid seminar for work (immediately fall in love), become friends, become best friends, and finally get to be happy. has some super repressed eddie and intensely pining richie, which is always fun, and genuinely made me laugh out loud. also please check out this author’s other reddie fics, there’s some super sweet kid reddie in there that really warms the heart
the mind's a funny fruit by joldiego, rated T
eddie wakes up barely alive in derry, has 0 memory, calls himself richie, and moves in with some lesbians. an absolute must read that ought to be on every reddie fic rec compilation. i read this a long time ago and just thinking about it makes me want to read it again.
now what i'm gonna say may sound indelicate [WIP] by IfItHollers, rated E
it took me entirely too long to find this fic since i joined the fandom, and it’s truly a fucking masterpiece. it’s almost at 200k now and still unfinished, and the slow burn is excruciating, but this is a legendary fic for a reason. eddie spends the first chunk of this fic in the hospital recovering from the massive chest wound, and then he and richie move the recovery to ben’s cabin in the woods. the author’s notes for each chapter are a story in themselves
signs of a new lifetime by swordfishtrombones, rated T
one of the sweetest, most romantic reddie fics i’ve ever read. a fresh take on a classic concept: post-ch2, they’re in love, they haven’t said/done anything about it yet, BUT!!! it’s not angsty! they are all cute and giggly like “you say it first!” “no, you say it first!” and it makes me fucking MELT
broadcasting tower by swordfishtrombones, rated E
back-to-back recs from the same author! bc i love these fics so much! sort of similar to the last one in that they both know what’s up and just haven’t said it, but this one’s got the angst! i didn’t know when i read it that it was the same author as the other fic, and i thought how funny, i found another reddie author that perfectly captures this pair in such a wonderfully romantic way! i also just noticed there’s a follow up to this so now i have to go read that immediately
eurydice; the original comeback kid by Vulcanodon, rated M
for the love of god please read this and the other work in this series. it’s a ch-2 fix-it with some intense action sequences and major pining, and it has haunted me since i first read it
love on the telephone by tempestbreak, rated E
okay this one is really just 30k of pure smut but it’s also so sweet and features a mini sexual awakening for eddie and some insecure richie with an emphasis on how much they love and trust each other. also it doesn’t hurt that the smut is fire, like does anyone else want that twink obliterated, or is it just me?
the boy who loves you by candlejill, rated E
eddie lives, richie confesses, things are chill and then they’re not. richie’s career flourishes, which is always nice to read and is what ultimately catalyzes eddie’s gay awakening and realization of his love for richie. it’s got some sad angsty parts and a very sweet ending, and it up there as one of my favorite reddie fics of all time
richie and eddie break up [WIP] by skeilig, rated M
a refreshing and realistic take on life ch-2 for the losers, because being in love at thirteen doesn’t mean you can fall into a perfect relationship at 40. i’ll admit, i’m hoping this will ultimately be a “richie and eddie get back together” fic, but it’s still a very good read (and often very funny in the second chapter) at the moment in the midst of their break up
september 1989 and everything else by pineapplecrushface, rated T
cute kid reddie figuring it out and making me smile. the follow up to this and the after derry series by this author are also personal favorites
go west by ssstrychnine, rated T
road trip fic! an absolute work of art slow burn with teen reddie in the 90s. it’s so beautifully written i just wish i could go back and read it for the first time again
the edification of eddie kaspbrak by tozier, rated M
character study with some incredible fucking prose, my lord it gorgeous. explores how eddie learns about love as he grows up, and it’s super fucking sad sometimes bc the poor boy doesn’t know how to have the things he wants and i just want to give him a hug, but it’s really a spectacular fic
circular motion by sinchronicity, rated M
soulmate!AU that follows book canon and even though it’s been a long time since i’ve read it and the details are fuzzy, i remember absolutely loving it and thinking it was incredible
tell me you know by RichiesToesHurt, rated E
college losers with some severely pining and jealous richie with a lovely ending 
predicament bondage [WIP] by dgalerab, rated E
i resisted reading this fic for so long, recently broke and binged all of it, and now i’m like frothing at the mouth for updates. richie’s a closeted actor/comedian who meets eddie, a professional Dom, when he needs help researching a role. they become friends, they develop crushes, richie realizes he’s a sub, and it’s just so much fun to read
there’s a lot more fics to rec so i might add on to this in the future, but in the meantime my biggest tip for for reading fanfiction that took me embarrassingly long to figure out: focus on the authors! if you read something you like, check out the rest of the work by that author bc odds are you’ll like that too. i mentioned it in a few specific works above, but check out the authors catalogues for these fics. if i included every work by these authors that i loved, this list would be miles long
feel free to add on any great stuff i missed, there’s sure to be tons of it!
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angeltrapz · 3 years ago
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oosdkk dude im sorry ur mood dropped too.. i hope u feel better soon <3 but like i wld love 2 hear more abt ur thoughts on Art in general bc Boy Is He Interesting, and also a lil more abt Daniel coming out as nonbinary to his dad (whether he knows Eric is trans or not at that moment skjdfhdskf)! + if ur feelin it just more abt Mallick in general ESP cuz we agree that Brit doesn't make it thru V
djhfjdks thank u sm <3
okay Art first. I genuinely wonder abt him so much, something in specific I think abt is that aside frm Amanda (+ Eric, obviously, but talkin abt disciples) Art is one of the only trap victims EVER 2 be tested twice and it’s like... what’s that abt? Why? as u’ve said b4 it rly depends on how you personally view his character: whether he’s a disciple or not. fr me, both options are equally plausible, n honestly I don’t rly confine myself to either; it sorta depends on what I’m feeling/writing. if we’re talking abt art being a disciple, then the Spinecutter not going off (one of my BIGGEST questions) makes total sense, as Hoffman’s side of the trap was never set up to work either, + Jigsaw disciples have a history (aside from Lawrence) of appearing as victims in other tests/traps. if he were not just another pawn and was in fact a disciple himself, then the Spinecutter was never meant to go off - it was there just to make Eric think it COULD go off/make it look convincing to outsiders. which brings me to ANOTHER question: what does Art know abt Eric? does he know anything? what does he think of Eric?
(lil side note: if Art is a disciple, then I kinda wonder if it’s a lil bit of a Hoffman + Lawrence situation where Hoffman didn’t know abt Art either? just bc he looks so shocked when he sees Art’s face fully fr the first time... that could’ve just been acting on Hoffman’s part but IDK. food fr thought)
personally, I feel like Art probably does know a lil bit abt Eric - at the very least, he’d know tht Eric had been previously tested + failed by John’s rules, but then I feel that he wld also know Eric didn’t rly have a chance in his second test. that is why Art trying so fucking hard to keep Eric alive is interesting 2 me: what is his motivation 2 do that? like he’s been told Eric’s basically just there to get Rigg to participate, he doesn’t have any personal obligation or anything like that. sure, the aim is to keep Eric alive + see if Rigg can pass his “test,” but nobody said anything about grabbing a man you barely know around his ankles to keep him frm hanging himself w a noose made of chains. nobody said anything abt speaking to him so softly, not even raising your voice beyond saying “hey,” and asking him do you understand? when you tell him to keep still and prevent him frm killing his counterpart (which, if Art is a disciple, he knows it won’t, but he still speaks to Eric so softly, so compassionately, doesn’t he?)
nobody said anything abt grabbing him around the waist and steadying him again after being punched by said man. but Art does that. he stabilizes Eric’s feet on the ice as best he can and he keeps his hips straight and he basically says “look, we’re all stuck here, you need to keep it together ‘til that clock counts down if you want us to live, but I’m giving you a choice,” and he presses the gun w the single bullet into Eric’s hands and tells him it’s up to him. nobody said Art had to care but he does, I think, and it’s just like. he really didn’t have to keep Eric alive over the course of Rigg’s test. he didn’t. but he did and I just,, where does it come from? why does he care? this is even going beyond the fact that we’ve talked abt them being together after their test in a scenario where they both survive - I just think that Art at his core is a very stubborn but very compassionate person, whether he wants 2 be or not. like he HAS to know that kind of involvement cld prove to be extremely detrimental but he cares. I feel like that says a lot abt him (even if he does call Eric an asshole a couple times while doing it,,).
plus I also just. I think his reason for being tested (as it seems to be in most cases) is extremely flimsy. he was doing his job. he’s a LAWYER. often times it has nothing 2 do w personal feelings; they’re there to do their job and sometimes, unfortunately, that is defending possibly reprehensible people (in cases like Rex’s & Ivan’s). + John was already upset w him regarding their argument abt the urban renewal group so like it just feels So Very Petty, y’know?? even in the scenario where he IS a disciple, testing him twice seems entirely like John having a personal vendetta against him. Amanda is the only other person to be tested twice aside from Eric, so like. what. is that abt Mr. Kramer.
like I’ve said b4 in dms one could argue that Art is grey morally, bc we never rly see anything of him outside of flashbacks + acting as a test controller in IV, esp given that he... rly doesn’t seem too bothered abt it all? which is fair. but I also feel like the concern he shows towards Eric is smth to be considered as well.
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+ YESS NONBINARY DANIEL I know I’ve mentioned it b4 but for reference, I read Daniel as masc nonbinary (he/they)! so I feel like Daniel wld b pretty comfortable w his identity, he’s never rly had a reason not to be (it’s rly anyone’s guess here tho bc we never see Eric + Daniel + Kate... as a family unit, for obvious reasons), so I feel like he’s vry chill abt it? and in the scenario where Eric survives n is dating Adam, I feel like Daniel wld talk 2 him abt it first (Adam is an adult they quickly come to trust + he’s vocal abt being trans himself so there’s that added layer of understanding - other than his mom maybe Adam might b the first person they come out 2). they’re just kinda like “so I wanna tell my dad I’m nonbinary but like I’ve literally never thought abt coming out what do I do” and Adam’s just like. Aha. bc he knows Eric is Also Trans so like, he doesn’t tell Daniel that bc it’s not his info to share, but he’s definitely like “oh it’ll totally be fine. trust me you have no reason to worry” so Daniel’s just like Okay. I Got This
+ I know I mentioned this in dms but Daniel wld absolutely wear those floral ripped hem skirts over jeans, so I feel like on one of his visits to his dad’s, he just. wears that combined w a completely random niche graphic tee he bought when shopping w Adam (I adore this hc n I am Holding Onto It) n is just like. not super open abt it bc he doesn’t know what to expect? he just kinda waits fr Eric to comment on it but when he doesn’t, Daniel gets nervous n is like “do I look okay?” and Eric’s rly chill abt it, like “yeah! it looks vry cool, vry alternative.” n like Daniel is relieved, of course, but also he’s just like God Pls Say Something so he just comes out w it like “okay this is not working. I’m nonbinary.”
and he’s COMPLETELY SHOCKED when Eric is just like “oh why didn’t u say so? do u have a different name u wanna go by? is Daniel still okay?” bc he wasn’t sure how much Eric knew, so he’s just like “uh no Daniel is still good, he/they pronouns though” and Eric’s just like alright cool but internally Daniel’s just like ??????
n THAT is when Eric asks him 2 come sit out on th front steps w him n is just like. “I don’t think I ever told u this but I’m trans. I transitioned during training in my early 20s” n Daniel is nodding while internally he’s like Adam I’m gonna throttle u. he worked himself up fr NOTHING. he just kinda laughs abt it and Eric is like “are u good?” ‘cause he’s a lil worried but then Daniel just smiles and is like “yeah I’m fine! just realizing I had nothing 2 be worried abt” and it’s a rly good moment fr them. they sit out there together talking abt their experiences for quite a while n at some point Adam steps outside 2 find them deep in conversation + he just smiles n goes back inside bc he cares abt them both so much and seeing them talk like that makes him so 💞💞 (Eric is SO PROUD u can see it on his face)
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ohhh gosh Mallick,,, I spend a lot of time thinking abt him actually. he’s just one of those characters I feel vry connected to (me 🤝 Mallick: Ambiguous Disorder 💕) n one I got surprisingly attached to? hello (he IS one of my f/os)
I feel like Mallick is a very lonely person at his core. the way he sort of clings to Brit (w out the whole like. adrenaline of being in very very real danger w ppl trying to kill u SEVERAL TIMES) somewhat confirms this fr me. this is someone who has no reason to look out fr him, no reason to keep protecting him when their fellow captives hit him over th head w a club or attempt to push him into a bathtub to ELECTROCUTE him, but she keeps doing it and he’s just. in awe of it a little bit? ‘cause she could just let Charles knock him tf out or let Luba push him in but she fights for him, some1 she has no obligation to n met fr the first time literally when they woke up.
the moment they share b4 they stick their arms into the saws to activate the 10 Pints of Sacrifice is so very vulnerable and maybe even a little tender. yes he calls her a monster, yes she calls him one back, neither of them deny it. it’s an admission and an acceptance. they’re monsters, sure, fine, okay. but they are monsters and they are in this together. Brit tells Mallick it’s okay when he says he can’t do this alone. she says okay, okay, it’s okay, we’ll go together. and they help each other secure their tourniquets and they stick their hands in together bc it’s the two of them, literally hand in hand, fighting for their lives n for each other n they’re in so so much pain but they are doing it TOGETHER. I lose it thinking abt it!!! they even have a head bonk moment!!! I very much feel like it has some cinematic parallels to Adam & Lawrence’s moment in SAW 2004!!!!
+ as u mentioned, we both share the thought that Brit likely died since she wasn’t present at Bobby’s meetings, and. I want to touch on how fucking despondent and lost Mallick looks when we see him again in 3D. lights on but no one’s home. I feel like for Mallick, losing Brit was losing the first chance at a real connection he’s had in god knows how long - and for him, that’s just very shattering. he’s been thru hell, he’s watched three people die right in front of him, he sawed his ARM IN HALF, n the person he went through all of that with didn’t make it. but he did. and I feel like for Mallick that’s just like... he doesn’t understand it. but he feels even lonelier than he ever has b4 because the One Person who was there w him thru it all, the one person who could ever possibly understand what happened that night, is gone.
the Mallick we see in V would NEVER sit down n willingly listen to Bobby Dagen’s bullshit abt loving yr scars n taking pride in the fact u survived. he wld hate that man with a passion n I am very much sure of this. the fact that he’s sitting in that chair looking numb and glassy-eyed and silent? Mallick is trying to find some1 to connect to, find a place where maybe he belongs. trying to fill that hole that losing Brit made. why else wld he be sitting there, listening to someone he would ordinarily tell to shove his self-love bullshit up his ass? he’s lost. he’s just trying to keep his head above water and find a way to shore even though everything in him is fighting not to. he’s adrift without her.
+ ALTERNATIVELY, bc the reality of that is just. crushing n maybe not where I needed 2 go, in the scenario where Brit survived + just doesn’t want to put up w Bobby’s bullshit, I imagine them to actually move in together after a lil bit of time getting 2 know each other better w out the pressure of “oh god we’re gonna die.” she kinda helps him build up a sense of self-worth bc GOD it’s practically non-existent n thinking abt possible reasons why makes me sad. she’s definitely just like “no, you do deserve to be cared for and you deserve help when you need it, you deserve good things n to be happy.” she just kinds shuts it down while still making sure to talk 2 him abt WHY he feels that way (she’s not dismissing, but she’s trying to nip it in th bud) n Mallick is just like. huh. bc no one’s really done that fr him before. but it rly does end up helping in the long run, even if it is a very slow pace toward actually getting 2 a place where he recognizes his own worth + realizes he deserves all the things he wants Brit 2 have too. they’re there for each other thru thick n thin and if they made it thru their game, they can make it thru anything.
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clandestine-j · 3 years ago
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Gossip Girl, EP. 4 Reaction & Review
Finally, I've gathered all of my thoughts for ep. 4! I had this really cool extra post to the intro and had more thoughts but then I lost the entire thing so I had to re-write the entire post SO, yeah, this is all I have for this part. Also, if anyone has those bts photos please let me know, i’m looking for the ones that have the audience reacting to max’s dick pick from the fashion show, aki biting his lip. please send. 
ADULTS:
Kate & CO: JAIL JAIL JAIL. We had that one teacher being turned on by incest and ruining kids lives. DO BETTER IN JAIL. I'll say tho, the male teacher makes a better gossip girl, he doesn't feel bad and is enjoying it. Kate could never.
Rafa: JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU, WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU. I hate that they showed us this man having common sense. This man, pushing Max away sexually but understanding that he needs serious help. I hate that they just didn't have them flirting and show us him saying no, I'm so upset. I'm even more upset that I fell for him being the character to subvert the trope. I can only blame myself but blame HBO as well. I also hate the comments saying it's okay or well, the show needs scandal and spice. They could've been photographed together in normal clothes, just standing next to each other. Max could lie to GG. There are a bunch of ways these could become an IC scandal without having them cross the line. If you support this, you need help.
OUR KIDS:
Max: My boy needs therapy, lots of it. Maybe rehab. On one hand, he's being taken advantage of because he's clearly going through something and more than just his dads and he has been for a while. His escapism is dangerous and anyone would be able to prey on that. On the other hand, I need someone to beat his ass. His lines to Rafa about money and career were punch worthy and out-right willing to lie about Rafa doing something to him, even just to press Rafa's buttons. He needs help, he needs to be taught boundaries, he needs a lot. And why were the only two people concerned for his week-long disappearance Aki and Audrey, the whole squad should've had the guns out, friends since childhood, sure.
Obie: My boy, I get that you didn't like where you saw Zoya headed. I get that in some aspects you were right about her being a little too involved and suspecting Julien. That being said, she was having real problems and troubles and needed support. Do better. Obie still isn't the worst character on the show and many of them are SOOOO much worse. He doesn't deserve the all of the smoke he's been getting when their are better people for it.
Monet & Luna: I hate them as people and love them as characters that move the plot. I guess I could see how they thought the fuck school thing was horrible (and Julien too since she planned on showing Obie). The directors cut, I don't think they thought it'd ruin Zoya, they're just fucking cruel and found it funny. Let's box. Also, why are ya'll so pressed over this CHILD. Like get over it, find a real up-coming social media star. 
Aki & Audrey: My good sis, you brought a gay man to make Aki jealous. I'm sick, it was fucking funny. Her comments at first were off the wall, I wish the writers would've done something else but a lot of woman don't see it as normal so I sort of get it. I'm glad she came around by the end. And Aki...he was a little spicy this episode, my boy was ready to pop off a bit AND I AM HERE FOR IT. My dude said, 'I don't regret kissing him' I was THROWN. Aki being with Audrey helps me like her more because she's a bitch that's still ready to gun for a now 15 year old girl but her and Aki's relationship is cute. They could break up and be fine which is great, I love that their relationship is really more than just dating and the friendship is strong. I'm here for it.
Zoya: It's just bad writing but my head canon is trauma. Trauma from her moms death death, trauma from the past and current bullying that caused her lash out. I felt like this was her breaking point (so far) and anything gossip girl related as always came around to Julien. If she trusted Julien more, she wouldn't have thought of her as the person causing her issue's but she doesn't trust her. They were civil but even at the end of ep 2. Her 'hell yeah' to Julien about bonding was too dry, too dry. I think a big part of her just doesn't trust Julien and she'll always think the worse because she's seen mostly the worse. And that video, horrible, I'd hate everything about my birthday too after that and even before. Her emotions during the scene and the talk with Julien, ouch. And while I'm happy that Zoya found herself in the end, YES GIRL POP OFF. THIS IS WHAT I WANTED. THIS IS THE FLAVOR. I WAS WAITING FOR THIS AND I WANT MORE. I DEMAND MORE. I SEE A SPARK OF A BITCH, LET HER OUT GO, GO ALISON DELAOTRUINES ON THESE BITCHES.
Julien: Once again, I love Julien as a character, I know she's supposed to be struggling and for that, It's fun to watch her BUT. Julien could never be on my team, she's too wishy-washy. That is my issue, she's too, just...flip-floppy with no substance. Like, when she does things wrong, they're expected  to be forgiven / are forgiven without true reflection or anything on her part. She fucks up, she see's its wrong and then she says sorry and goes on it does it again. This episode was just the worst example, like, the moment she heard buffalo, she was ready to send in a tip. Instead of just doing the party normally and being best because she's hear, she sends the video to Monet. She believes Luna and Monet (Monet talking about her throne being taken when Zoya isn't even an influencer) and she eats it up. They were the ones who did the dick pick thing, like girl, THINK. And why does she never get the full plan, why would she not watch the video or why is she so shocked that Luna and Monet would play something like that? She knows them. Friends since childhood? Sure. Using your moms name to make the party about charity? SIS, THE FEUD IS NOT WORTH IT. She says she wants to be sisters but then she switches up so fast and the witches up again, it's whip-last and I'm sick. I hate that she's doing this to her and I hate even more that's is the writers fault. I don't mind a character having personal conflict but make it a conflict. Like after four episodes, why is she still friends with her sisters bullies? At the end of the episode, she says she's gonna tell them to lay down their weapons, NO, shut it down. correct them. make it clear and make it known. I love my girl because she's flawed but I wish they'd linger on things and have her really think about it. I was fine with the i'm sorry speech up until the camera part.
Other random thoughts
fuck the rafa max thing again, i'm not over, i will never be over it
evan mock isn't the best but he does give me face at times, his 'wtf stare', little sly looks, the 'wtf' moment when audrey first asked him if he was gay like 'this bitch' also, give him more annoyed, irritated scenes, he gives in those
have julien go full nice or full evil for a while, pick a side and stick with it for more than one episode
i wish zoya was a bitch at her old school but i'm fine with this too, it explains why she was so reactionary when it came to the bullying at constance, not again!
i wish we could've seen julien talk with davis after that stunt
nick and davis, KISS, the ride scene was 100%
don't talk about obie so soon
i like that she chose to be with julien for the night, it was cute
emily makes these faces that i can't get with
eli brown is a good actor, that shot of him during the traumatic reveal
i will say, zobie might be boring but when they talk, they talk, their communication is p good, i don't hate it
i’d be here for obie x aki bc they’re friends, they got chemistry, aki was giving look lil up and downs this episode, aki was giving a lot of looks this ep, honestly, idk i just don’t want him heart broken 
aki menzies is still my comfort character
i couldn't take rafa serious with his ass out,
whitney's acting in that talk scene, perfect, my girl had me in tears because DAMN
jordan is pretty good but in that scene, go girl, give me nothing
fuck max and rafa
max lied about his dads or at least one, AT LEAST one, i don't think they'd do that, he saw his in and took it
aki and aud, just have that open relationship, ya'll will make it, the way he tucked into her, it was so sweet
davi and nick secret relationship plot
jail for all of the teachers, once again
the hallway scene was great, the cinematography is been clutch overall
music wasn't as jarring
that's about it! i have more thoughts on the show overall that might be another post, they have a lot of amazing ideas but they need to stick with one and flush it out is the overall gist, i'm still into it!
can't wait for five bc i love the angst that's about to hit.
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fairycosmos · 4 years ago
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I don’t think that’s a 14 year old thing. I actually believe your 20s is the moment you get your hopes and dreams crushed and you realize how hard and ugly and upsetting life truly is. I didn’t have a great time as a teen but i was very hopeful for the future and I was very idealistic and now I’m just realistic and I stopped romanticizing shit. And yes I accepted that life is terrible and I’m not sad about it it’s just a fact. I don’t understand what kind of bullshit everyone else is on talking about how great life is
LOL true i mostly just said it was a 14 yo thing bc it felt very faux edgy im beyond all hope-esque like all angsty nd shit but its literally how i feel!!!!!! i guess i’m glad i’m not going into my 20s with any illusions then. like you as a teen i was struggling but secretly optimistic. however at this point i feel like i’ve fought for years and years to maintain hope and i’ve never once been proven right or shown that it was the right thing to do, that all of this was worth holding on for. it hasn’t been and it’s mostly likely that life will continue to be that way - lookin at myself and the world and just everything that’s happened combined. it’s the most logical assumption. and i think it’s that way for a lot of people so idk why i thought it would be any different for me. there’s so many bad experiences waiting, i already know. it’s horrible. i think it can’t get worse but it can and it’s probably going to because that’s what time does to your life. that’s the thing yeah, you just stop romanticizing or thinking there’s any luck on your side. i believe there are great moments in life but happiness is never as hard hitting or as long lasting as pain, suffering and grief etc. it’s not an equal give and take at all. i get what you mean,  it feels like it’s very privileged to be able to say this life is beautiful. sometimes it really is but most of the time it’s really not. i’m glad you’re not sad about it but i hope at some point you’re proven wrong and given the peace you deserve. anyway yeah, we live in a weird moment in human history and sadly where we’re at is terrible on so many different levels and in ways beyond our control, too. i try to take it minute by minute at the moment, as in what can i do right now that will prevent me from walking into traffic. past and future be damned lmfao
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parrishh · 4 years ago
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i'm like, 90% sure all of the anons in my inbox right now are actually the same person so, if that's you, i'm just going to answer all of your mister impossible questions in this post since there are a lot of them and this is going to be really very extremely long
"Wait what why is Jordan awake?"/"Is the sweetmetal of declans picture helping jordan stay awake?"
i don't know why she's awake but i don't think it's the painting, because at the end of the book she's outside declan's apartment, not her own. i guess it's possible that she succeeded in making the painting a sweetmetal powerful enough to sustain her even there, but i feel like there's probably a different explanation. i've seen theories that she's inadvertently made herself into a sweetmetal by finally seeing herself as her own person rather than just a copy of hennessy, which is interesting
"And the things about the ley line Idgi? Hennessy wants to stop the power but for what"
i think hennessy thinks shutting down the ley line is the best (or even only) way to get rid of the lace. she hates herself for the lace to the extent that she doesn't even want to live anymore, so of course that's her primary motivation. she feels hopeless so long as the lace has power. she's desperate
"Why did he think adam was in on declans plan? I think the "oh" was more like oh you want to come with bryde of course...."
the "oh" is in response to ronan saying "i'm calling now. i need to see you", before there's even any mention of bryde. adam says "you're here? oh", not "you're here? why are you here?" the fact that he didn't ask why ronan was in town, the fact that he said an "oh" of realization instead, implied that he already knew why ronan was in town. and he could have only known by speaking to declan. i think it was a reasonable conclusion on ronan's part
"Ronan are you being serious????? Why should Adam/Declan drop everything and come fight with you - they didnt even know where you are, they don't know the plan. Then you accuse them of that Moderators plan without questioning them. And I mean, yes, Ronan is easily manipulated and he thinks everyone is against them and Bryde is the only one who cares but come on!!!!!!! Seriously, doesn't he get that he might be in the wrong????"
i mean, i think you hit the nail on the head when you said "he thinks everyone is against them." for a long time, he's been struggling with feeling alone, like he's a burden, like the people he loves don't really understand him. he's never had a healthy relationship with another dreamer, so it makes sense that he feels so isolated from literally everyone he cares about. and now he just found out two of the most important people in his life went behind his back to conspire against him (even if he doesn't have confirmation about adam, declan does admit to it over the phone) which is just...salt on a wound he's had since he was a kid. i'm not saying he's in the right, but i do understand why his immediate reaction was what it was. when you've been hurt like that, it takes some time before you can like, calm down and reconsider your own role in the situation
"Ronan basically dreamt Bryde in his worst dream right? Why does he still trust him"
i mean, i don't know how much we can believe what bryde says, but when he reveals himself as being ronan's dream he basically says that everything that he (bryde) wants, ronan already subconsciously wanted before he even dreamt him. that bryde wants it because ronan wanted it. to admit that bryde is in the wrong, ronan would have to admit he, himself, is in the wrong, too, and that's not easy. especially because a lot of his motivation is saving matthew and not wanting to live with the weight of matthew's life on his conscious anymore. especially because he's felt alone for so long, and now he just found out the first dreamer to truly make him feel less alone is his own creation. he's hurting. a lot. he will admit to being wrong in the third book, i think, but like i mentioned above, that kind of growth takes some time
"I think Ronan actually doubts Brydes plan too bc he thinks stuff like people built the dam, there are living things here, it cost a fortune..... and i personally never see a purpose in what they're doing bc bryde never tells them and ronan obviously doesn't know or he thinks he doesnt. I think he doesnt and he just trudts bryde blindly for now and his insecurities aka bryde take over and rule over ronan. Thoughts?"
i mean, i think ronan sees the purpose. here are his thoughts, directly quoted from chapter 17 when bryde is talking about restoring the ley lines:
"A world where Matthew could just live. A world where Ronan could just dream. A world where every dream was clear and crisp and easy to navigate, so there were never accidents or nightmares. He wanted it."
he wants, as i mentioned above, for matthew's life to not be reliant on his own (which i understand. that's a really heavy knowledge to live with.) he also just wants to be able to exist wherever he wants and with whomever he wants (thinking, for example, about how he wasn't able to get an apartment in boston in cdth), without constantly worrying that the nightwash is going to kill him. poor guy just wants a normal life
"Also did we ever actually see bryde get something out of a dream? Most work did Ronan"
this is interesting. now that you mention it, i don't think we do. supposedly he dreams the orbs, but i can't recall ever seeing that happen? i could be wrong, though
"And why is the nightwash mostly ronans problem? I mean hennessy and rhionna (?) had it very little and who knows if the other dreamers have it"
i think ronan is a much, much more powerful dreamer than any of the others. there's something...More about him. something special about being the greywaren. i don't know what it is, specifically, but i anticipate that's something we'll find out in the final book, and i expect it'll explain why the nightwash affects him more than it does the others
"Who the hell dreamt the mods"
i don't know! i think the most popular theory right now is that it was nathan farooq-lane. i'm not sure how that works, though, since they killed nathan and bryde took the sweetmetal off of lock pretty early in the book (unless nathan isn't actually dead, somehow) (or bryde is nathan, which is another popular theory). another theory is that it was ronan. like, he was feeling so alone and misunderstood that he accidentally dreamt his own persecutors? or it's possible that they were all just dreamt by random dreamers and that's why they felt strongly enough about the "cause" to become moderators, but that's kind of boring
"And why are R B and H so dangerous? Bc of what they're doing?"
yeah, and, i mean, according to liliana's visions, they have the power to end the world
"Can I point out that Idk what everyone is talking about, I dont get pynch possible breakup vibes at all from this book"/"Am I trippin or did I read another book? Because some fellas say there's no pynch"
i think when people say there's no pynch, they just mean that there's very minimal pynch interaction, specifically. because, yeah, even though they're both constantly thinking about each other, it is true that we only get one moment of them actually interacting (the phone call), and it's obviously not a positive interaction
i don't think anyone actually thinks they'll break up. at least, i haven't seen anyone say that and i've been feverishly reading everything under the mister impossible tag, so
"What struck me as really odd was that Adam bought this stupid 14$ waffle which he would have never done a few months back and I dont think he would do it now? 14$ is a lot of money esp for a waffle so why spend it on something as useless as this? And why do the others need Adams money? Are they all on scholarships? Was it just bc he had cash and the others didnt? And why is he treating them like his followers and they treat him as their guardian or whatever like he clearly needs to be honest with them"
okay, first off, i will say, as someone who grew up poor and, like adam, absolutely busted my ass in high school to get a good scholarship so i could go to college, the relief of actually getting that scholarship is...powerful. my financial anxiety definitely didn't disappear once that happened, but there was, at least in my experience, this feeling of "i made it, it's going to be okay now" that made it a little easier to spend money. i don't think it's that unrealistic that he, now having the security of a harvard education, would spend fourteen dollars on something he doesn't need every once in a while. it would be completely out of character for henrietta adam, yes, but it's a bit different now. plus, it wouldn't suit his faux Harvard Adam persona to refuse the waffle because of how much it costs
i think his friends are all a lot more well-off than he is. it was just that they didn't have any cash on them and the waffle truck didn't take card (also realistic, i never have cash on me so i always have to ask someone to spot me when a place turns out to be cash-only)
i think (a) they all look up to him because he has this really calm, cool and collected persona. more importantly, we can assume that they were all struggling with something when he met each of them, since they were all crying. now in swoops this guy who saw them upset and came to comfort and befriend them. of course they see him as something like a hero. and (b) i think he likes that. in high school, he was the one being rescued, not the one rescuing. i think he enjoys being the kind of person he used to wish he could be (ie. gansey. he's being gansey)
"I thought it a bit funny in a weird way that Declan talked about marrying Jordan…I can't imagine he was being too serious about it?"
no, i mean, i don't think he was literally proposing, not yet. he's just really happy for the first time in a long time (maybe ever) and, after a lifetime of pain and trauma and more responsibility than he ever signed up for, i don't blame him for wanting that feeling to last forever, even if he's not really thinking clearly
"Also I think it's amazing they make each other so happy but the ending makes me a bit sad or surprised bc shouldn't Matthew be his nr1 priority now?"
we only have jordan's perspective at the end, so when she thinks that it was clear declan had come out of his apartment looking for her, i don't think that necessarily means he wasn't also looking for matthew. i don't think it's fair to say that, in that moment, he should prioritize either matthew or jordan. he loves two dreams, so he can and should be concerned for both of them equally. i don't think one love is inherently more important than the other just because it's lasted longer or because it's family
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lizacstuff · 4 years ago
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Edser/SCK anon asks (36 spec)
I accidentally deleted an ask that was interesting, if you don’t see yours here, resend it!
(Asks below the cut)
Anonymous said: Do you think that scene of Eda confronting Selin about it is the end of the episode? I'm so drained, Liza. When will this suffering end?
Oh honey, we have SUFFERED. We have. No doubt about it, but I’ll talk more about that in a minute. (We can overcome) 
First the fragman, could it be the end of the episode? I suppose so. It’s no fun thinking that it might be the cliffhanger and we have to live with that for 11 days instead of 4, but here’s the interesting thing, according to people who look closely at these things, the outfit Eda was wearing when confronting Selin, Hande was wearing that today while filming at Art Life. We also know that at Art Life the set was dressed for some sort of party or event. An event that had the word ‘love’ on the table. So which comes first? The confrontation with Selin or the Art Life scenes that do not include Deniz or Selin?? I don’t know.  The other wild card factor is Bige’s availability. I’m sure most people have heard by now that, sadly, her father passed away this week. This show does not work on a timeline where they can wait.  So they might have had to write her out of a few scenes already in this episode, and it’s unknown what her availability will be for next episode. That could end up changing things a bit, so we’ll see.  Maybe there will be a second fragman that gives us more context.
Now back to feeling drained by this storyline. I get you. I feel you. But here’s how you shake if off. Boil it down for yourself. Why do you continue to watch this show? I’m going to guess it’s for the same reason I continue to watch this show.  Edser. Eda and Serkan are still magic together in every single scene, and Hande and Kerem’s chemistry can turn even the most turgid, ill-advised story or scene into gold. They are worth watching whether they are looking into each other’s eyes or reading the phone book.  
So... my advice is to emotionally distance yourself from the plot. The plot is just the device to keep these two actors on screen together playing these two characters. And that sentence is truer for this show than for any other show I’ve ever watched (and I’ve watched A LOT of shows.) It’s all about these two characters and these two actors. So ultimately the plot doesn’t matter. Let the plot go. There is nothing to worry about, Edser is endgame, Edser is the reason this show exists, they are all the matters on this show. So knowing that, just enjoy their individual scenes, appreciate them for what they are and don’t tie yourself into knots over the nonsense these hack writers throw at us. It will all be fine in the end. 
Anonymous said: I kinda find it funny that what Erdem suggested turned out to be the way Serkan got his memory back. It was a scene fit for a romcom. Obviously it wasn't how I pictured him to remember but at this point I'll take it. Lol! Erdem should be a fortune teller or something!
You’re right. Erdem was on the right track. It would have been funnier if Erdem had hit him to get his memory back and once it worked, then Engin could have held Serkan down, while Erdem continued to bonk him in the head to bring back more memories.
Anonymous said: i totally feel the mixed feelings with the fragman, but it seems like its an ep with great edser moments where they're together and trying to solve this problem, at the same time they just couldn't keep the drama out of the fragman this time?! at a time where everyone is relieved and positive for the first time in weeks?! just seems like a bad move by the production imo and i'm not even that concerned with the plot like others are. another anon said this, but there is def selin fatigue
Selin fatigue is real!!!! But to be honest I was in Selin fatigue by ep 29. And it’s just gotten worse episode by episode. (though we had a bit of a reprieve from her in 34-35) but the fragman brought the fatigue back with a vengeance. The producer has tweeted before about how the show has to have drama, so, I guess that’s where we are. Drama. They think this is what sells, I guess?
They produce those fragman’s with the Fox viewer in Turkey in mind. So perhaps that’s the kind of tease that works well there? I have no idea. Honestly, I think they’re not worried about online fans and international fans because they know we’re so invested that we won’t give up. 
Anonymous said: Normally i would also calm down with the pregnancy thing, it’s probably selin’s last desperate attempt at keeping serkan BUT you know why it scares me? Because they’ll probably introduce the “Kemal is Serkan’s biological father” storyline and I hope that it’s not correlated to selin’s fake pregnancy...like, Serkan would never leave Eda but this Kemal thing will probably remind him how he never had a real father growing up so i hope this doesn’t push him to be by Selin’s side. However, it’s also true that I really don’t think that he and Selin had s*x so I also don’t think they can follow this path. I’m so confused I think we just need to wait and see haha
Yes, we need to wait and see. I see no reason to go down this speculation path unless we’re forced to, because it seems very unlikely to me. Clear it from your mind, and then, if the worst happens, we’ll deal with it then, not now. 
Anonymous said: Idk if u follow sck news on twitter but they posted pics/vids from set today in the office and it looks like a party with food and a sign that says “better together”. Someone commented a theory that serkan will orchestrate a surprise engagement party for eda while she talks to Selin and the ep will end with her turning down the proposal bc Selin is “pregnant” and then we have to wait for the next ep for serkan to tell her it’s not possible 🤡🤡 what do u think?
Yep, I follow sck news, who doesn’t? ;) I think this speculation is plausible, and as long as she’s upfront with Serkan about why and Serkan is able to shut it down immediately next ep, then I can live with this as a cliffhanger. 
Anonymous said: Part 1. You mentioned in a previous ask how Engin didn't tell Eda that Serkan remembered everything when he made it in time for the wedding. Honestly his lack of action was not surprising, upsetting or disappointing. That's just who Engin is. He's a talker, not a doer. Engin is Serkan's friend similar to how Ceren and Fifi are Eda's friends (I'm talking pre amnesia plot). They care about their friend's happiness. Engin has always talked reason to Serkan especially about his feelings for Eda.
Part 2. But Engin's reason for doing that is Serkan's happiness. Of course he wants Eda's happiness but mostly only because it's tied to Serkan's happiness. He has stood up for Eda before like when Serkan accused her of working with Kaan or when he said she deserves to know the truth about her parents death, but whatever Serkan says goes. He never acts in opposition to him. So if Serkan says he won't stop the wedding, Engin isn't going to do anything despite believing Eda should know the truth.
Here’s the problem with this, it’s not just him not caring about Eda. It’s him not caring about Serkan. He should have done it for Serkan, knowing that Serkan would regret his inaction the rest of his life.  It costs him nothing to tell Eda at that moment and let her make the decision. 
That’s one of my biggest problems with this cockamamie plot. From the first Fragman of 29, I said it was impossible that Selin could have hidden him away and rekindled her relationship with him because the other character wouldn’t allow it. Oh but they did. This storyline ruined pretty much every single supporting character, (outside of Melo) because otherwise, if they would have acted in-character or even like normal humans, it never would have worked. And that continued all the way up to this stupid fake/real wedding.  Writers... if you have to ruin every supporting character to bend and twist and make it so your antagonist isn’t immediately jailed or carted away to a mental hospital, that is a sign that it doesn’t work and you need to go back to the drawing board. 
Anonymous said: I have to say, they really do well with the casting on SCK. Especially when they want actors who look like they are related. Eda and her grandmother looked like they were related. It was great casting. Now Serkan and the new character look like they could be related. They have similar features. If the point is for us to speculate that they are father and son, I think they did a good job.
Yes, they really do. I’ve also always thought that Neslihan looks like she could be Kerem’s mother, they have the same coloring. Evrim looks like she could be related to Hande.  They have done a great job with that. 
Anonymous said: That fragman for ep 36...part of me wants to hope that it will all be solved pretty soon, since we got edser separated for so long we deserved them together now. But part of me also knows these writers suck so I’m expecting the worst. I just wanted edser together again 😭
You and me both, babe.  You and me both. 
In the meantime, lets remember to enjoy this show while it lasts. And if we can’t enjoy the plot, as I said above, let’s think about the things we can enjoy.  So if in this episode there are a dozen great Edser scenes and then one that rips out our hearts... let’s concentrate on the dozen, okay? The one that rips out our hearts will resolve itself soon enough. 
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staliasjeronica · 3 years ago
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Riverdale S5 Ep11 Thoughts *Spoilers*
thoughts under cut to keep tag from being cluttered :)
- Oh yeah I forgot that Chad was blackmailing Veronica about the dirty dealings in her company even though it’s not her at all (unless it’s just been so long and I’ve forgotten but she’s my baby and I feel like I would’ve remembered but-
- Hiram and this dumb prison is one of the worst things for this show it’s a constant plot of people escaping and it’s so annoying like sure Hiram owns it and he was in the jail but no one has, like, taken him back to jail…??? Hiram is a fucking disease smh
- “back to remote learning” why didn’t you just stay that way though… like even right now in covid schools are opening back up and kids are complaining because it’s still not safe so like… just… go back to it??? I’m so not built for this world fasdhfkahf
- Veronica and Smithers 🥺🥺💞💞
- the way Veronica hugs Archie is so cute bc she’s so tiny but like she always gives her all and Archie is just 😐 never giving anything ahjfsdfsh it’s quite sad you can tell how done KJ is with Varchie lol
- “I really hate that I’m dragging you through this.” … what about constantly pulling him into your mob boss father mess that the writers refuse to allow you to escape from?
- “until you and Chad are officially done, I think we should keep our distance.” Varchie bones!!! you just KNOW that Archie has been looking forward to this because that man is whole heartedly in love with Betty and has been since forever and that while Chad prolongs the divorce papers, Archie will not be waiting for Veronica considering he doesn’t want her. Varchie = bones we love to see it!
- now who tf would join Penelope Blossom’s ministry… no one, realistically.
- can Cheryl stop being given the craziest and usually most boring plots ever please...
- Not someone holding a gun to Tabitha literally don’t hurt Riverdale’s best girl weirdo
- these bitches really haven’t aged huh…. poor Veronica though being robbed but like they stole some watches or something and the opal like that’s all you take..?? okay-
- Fangs 💞💞💞💞💞 also rip to him having to work with his ex tho
- STOP HAVING ARCHIE GO TO HIRAM WE’RE TIRED
- You know considering the whole reason why Hiram is still here as the villain and ruining Veronica’s life/growth to keep her in his plots al because Mark is a big soap opera celeb and apparently brings in money, you’d assume they would give him GOOD shit instead of everything he’s gotten. If they hadn’t of hired Mark can you imagine how much better off the show would be if they didn’t have to keep him around bc of his status????? God why-
- Reggie’s always there for Veronica muah…. oh fuck me I guess fjasjkdf
- “I work for one Lodge and it’s not you.” lmao okay??? you acting like that’s a flex, and that you’re working for the better Lodge who literally left you to die after the Serpents thought you shot Fangs so-
- MARTY BEING WHY REGGIE IS WORKING FOR HIRAM…….. YOUR DAD IS ABUSIVE LET HIM HANDLE HIS OWN DEBT??? God both Veronica and Reggie are always fucked over when it comes to their parents huh
- don’t you just love when they make characters act ooc for a plot ahhhhhh it’s totally fun to watch and totally not frustratingly annoying
- “FOR OLD TIMES SAKE.” 💞💞💞 we love Veggie even though they made Veronica act ooc and hurt him back then and they weren’t given an actual chance.
- “don’t be such a Betty” now why is Betty so surprised she only ever had fun when she was with Archie, when she’s with Jughead all she did was do what she wanted and order him around so likeefjhakdfh
- “he shouldn’t really be my problem anymore.” BUGHEAD BONES YASSSSS
- I know it was just a sound they used but like that squish sound when Darla kicked Tom’s face… did she like smash his face in damn what is this The Walking Dead?
- see the problem with them randomly bringing characters/parents in when they need them is that they’re never around so like no one really cares… like they could have utilized the parents so much (and Skeet and Marisol never would have left) and it would have been so much better than random appearances that make them look incompetent and awful parents because they’re never there during all the other times their kids need them. but we have to see the two toxic parents that won’t go away constantly??? literally what the fuck
- Betty calling Jughead’s writing cringey wbk she’s never liked his writing she was just stroking his ego bc she was his gf and had to be supportive lmaoo
- why are these 60+ year old men beating up Jughead like for why???
- so they just forgot that Tom was checking in on the convict huh gotta love dumbing down characters for plot!
- Fangs with his switchblade muah
- jealous Tabitha muahhh over a password
- “wait THE BETTY?"
- Cheryl looks so good
- Find meaning in his death… girl didn’t you not care that your husband killed your son over the illegal maple stuff I forgot the plot but it was something illegal and dumb
- “drain the vein” …...
- Reggie helping muah
- Why is Archie acting like an ass? like sure he doesn’t know that Chad is abusive and toxic but c’mon fucker you cheated on her and never apologized and you don’t even wanna be with her in the first place so why are you acting like you’re personally hurt sit down
- God Archie really hates Veronica huh… I don’t even blame him considering the shit she’s brought him into time and time again.
- Jughead was kicked like maybe five times yet he was fine falling out of a two story window and the serpent imitation but now he needs antibiotics..? plot convenience!
- literally don’t remember anything about Doc tbh or him talking to Donna and Bret like—
- ever since Negan people are obsessed with bats with barbed wire.
- also! yes please kill Hiram <3 I know they end up saving him bc of the opal but c'mon
- they searched basically nothing for five seconds wow such great detective work you guys!
- we know you just want his manuscript Jessica
- Cheryl with her rainbow skirt how cute!
- “daddykins” girl you’re like 25
- Veronica acting like she cares about Hiram fjsadhkfhas these guys thinking that they’d kill Hiram even though they need him lol
- bad bitch Ronnie we love her even though she’s gonna have to save her father to save others and get her opal </3
- not Veronica calling Archie first and not Kevin considering Kevin’s dad is there…. this is the pandering va fan service bs we have bc it makes no sense and it’s so forced
- Fangs knowing Archie rides with tools in his truck mmhm that’s a little sus idk how but archiefangs agenda coming through!
- no one would actually believe that Jessica ashkjdfsj and they take this bait…??? you gotta be joking lmao
- Jug got to help doc this time 🥺😭
- …. tell me why when he said boyfriend I immediately thought of Reggie I hate myself for wishing fahsdjkfsafj
- okay as cheesy and corny and awful the fight scene is since they posted a clip of it, them working together is so refreshing and nice we love leader!Veronica bc she’s so good at it. but the show only cares for Betty which is funny since she’s an awful detective fbahsdjfj
- my god enough with Jason’s body!!!!!!!!! you burned his body please let him stay dead let his body rest
- okay but the back and forth from Betty and Jessica is so good like I wish we could get that kind of rivalry drama type stuff all the time. too bad they refuse to let Veronica act like a normal person and get angry at being cheated on and such :/ when will Veronica slap the fuck out of Betty
- he’s not a blameless victim but Betty take responsibility for how awful a person you are PLEASE
- THE VOICEMAILLLLLLL Jughead only speaks the truth! it’s weird that he only realized what we all knew about Betty after but whatever, finally he gets upset like damn. also jeronica crumb he’s the only one to ever include Veronica smh ALSO Cole acted the fuck outta this voice mail muah
- the way Betty just sits there uncaring… she really is a freak huh god when will someone punch her in the face and take her ego down a million notches she’s so annoying
- “that’s darkness.” …?? what?
- the way bh’s relationship parallels jughead’s with Jessica though. the unhealthy habits, the bad energy, etc. except Jessica left it and Betty didn’t and it turned Betty into whatever the fuck this is. I miss s1 Betty :/
- so when will they sue Jessica for drugging them? mmhm probably never
- poor Tabitha being the only one who cares about jughead tho
- oh no I forgot there was a random musical number…
- you’re gonna have Betty and Tabitha act like THAT and not put them together so rude
- when will Cheryl be free from her mom. is was like turned on by abuse or something sigh why do the toxic (and most boring!) parents get plots and screen time and everyone else doesn’t...
- Veronica would be able to do Moree than pepper spray but whatever only Betty is allowed be “badass"
- fangs being fangs ugh so sexy my babyyyyy
- Trevor Stines is so attractive it’s a shame they only bring him back for five seconds to traumatize Cheryl over and over again though </3
- wow varchie in a pop’s booth what season is this again??
- god it’s so upsetting how amazing varchie would have been as just friends…
- the way he smiled at Veronica was so contradicting to the blank, “please don’t” expression when she was telling him she was gonna get divorced as fast as possible. why can’t he just admit he doesn’t want to be with her!!!!!! my god they’ve put off barchie long enough just let them be together so their characters can finally act in character and stop being so awful and annoying
- “this cause” what cause you fucking weirdo
- not Hiram threatening the mayor he could literally be your downfall if we had good writers fjasdkjfasf
- jughead how would you have killed him with a small wooden basket
- I like doc so much but I know we’ll never see him again until we randomly need him seasons from noow
- Betty wasn’t hit by the drugs until after the message though… how would she not remember? it didn’t seem to be doing anything to Betty until the bunker
- hopefully since they’re friends now Tabitha can make Betty act like a decent human being <3
- the way Tabitha looked at Betty please stop doing this to me...
- maybe we can finish that dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jabitha rising bughead dying we love to see it!
wow that episode felt like it was two hours long but thankfully I finally finished it… don’t have many actual thoughts but anyways hope you enjoyed my live blog of my thoughts!
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lvmosity · 5 years ago
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my only valentine | draco malfoy [2]
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pairing: draco malfoy x slytherin!reader
genre: fluff bc it’s a valentines day special ooh la la
summary: you and draco have been enemies since the start of hogwarts despite being in the same houses, but everyone knows you two secretly like each other. valentines day has arrived and you hope to receive a love confession from one boy only; your arch-enemy nevertheless. however, a minor incident occurs caused by draco and hurts you deeply. will your valentines day be rescued?
word count: 3.7k
warnings: minor swearing ?? sorry i swear a lot
a/n: final part is here! received a lot of love on my first one and that made me really happy! thank u all eeek <3 couldn’t hesitate to finish this off because i didn’t want to make u wait a long time so here it is! enjoy :-) also idk if there are errors in here even tho i proofread multiple times, so let me know if u see any !!
tags: @aus-pi-cially​ @biinspiration​ @iwritetrashimagines​ @juliemoney45​ @a-hoe-for-vanya​ @slytherclawmalfoy​ 
read part one → here 
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After the incident, you stayed in your dorm for the rest of the day. Professor McGonagall excused you out of classes, each visiting the Professors that you had a class with today to report that you wouldn’t be attending due to you falling ‘ill’. You mentally thanked her for that and you reminded yourself to thank her properly the next morning since you were too upset and embarrassed to walk out.
You knew that at this very moment that everyone was talking about you, you were once again the main gossiping topic. When some students had asked your classmates who were present at the incident, they simply explained the situation and one by one the information had quickly spread like wildfire. 
Many girls felt bad for you, some of the girls from your house even visited you during their frees and empathised with you. After stating that you were feeling alright, they started to bad-mouth Draco by calling him all sorts and making fun of him. You’d never thought you’d hear your own housemates mockingly make fun of Draco but it was a blessing to your ears. Although, you wished for their safety as you knew his father will hear about it and order expulsion upon them.
And by most girls, you mean everyone except a few girls such as Pansy Parkinson enjoyed you feeling dejected. You weren’t the only girl who liked him of course. Since Year One, Pansy has made sure to everyone that she likes loves Draco. You could visualise the look on her face when she heard about the situation, and she probably looked the happiest she’s ever been.
Pansy also made it clear that she hates you. At first, you both didn’t have a problem with each other since you were Slytherin housemates, however, you couldn’t hold back your slight annoyance with her once she showed attitude. But at the start of Year 4, she turned hostile towards you. Apparently, she sees you as a threat and you’d soon ruin her ‘plans’, whatever they were.
Your friends came by during dinner to give the gifts you left in class since you ran out without grabbing them. They each gave you a consoling hug, several uplifting words to cheer you up as well as desserts from the meal they were serving as a Valentines Day special. It did manage to bring your mood up which was a good thing as you were able to focus on something else.
However, the second you lay eyes on the gifts that laid on your bedside counter, you’d instantly be reminded about the incident turning your mood sour. You couldn’t help but tear up which escalates into a crying session. You’ve possibly had around five sessions since then and now it’s six because you just looked at it again.
It really hurt you. His words struck thorns in your heart, he really didn’t have feelings for you at all. You cursed at yourself for thinking he’d have a slight interest in you all this time but now you realised you were wrong; he has always hated you. He despised you. From the very start lasting to the very end.
What does this mean to you from now on? Obviously, it means your crush on Draco should be completely destroyed. No, it needs to be. You’d be a fool to continue liking Draco after that, he literally declared his hatred for you and he had an audience to hear it loud and clear. He’ll never see you anything more than an enemy. He only saw you as a despicable, loathsome, grotesque looking, ugly--
“Ugh, I’m such an idiot!” you cried out with despair and flipped the bed covers over your head.
You forced your eyes shut and tried to shut any thoughts of Draco but images of him kept coming back. It was hopeless. You were never going to get over him.
Time goes by and you watched the sky turn from grey to black indicating that it was night-time. It was time for everyone to head back to their dorms since classes had finished for the day. One by one you watch your roommates, as well as your friends, stumble into the room and hop into bed falling fast asleep minutes later.
You lie in bed, tossing back and forth multiple times unable to get in a comfortable position. It had been a while since everyone had fallen asleep, snores filled the room as well as the ticking of the clock. You concluded that you weren’t going to fall asleep any time soon as you weren’t tired despite feeling the heaviness on your eyelids.
Taking a quick glance at the clock, you saw that it was only beginning to hit 11PM. Sighing, you step out of bed, slipping your slippers on as you walk outside. You knew no one would be awake at this time judging by how late it was thus spending a bit of time sitting in front of the fireplace in the Slytherin Common Room would be a good way to fall asleep quicker and clear your thoughts.
You step into the Common Room and just as you thought; not one person was awake. The fireplace was still lit and burning strongly along with the violent crackling of the fire. The lamps had been switched off leaving the fireplace and the light from the windows to be the only source of light. It was awfully eerie without anyone else in the room but it didn’t bother you as much because you were used to it, it was located in the dungeons of course.
As you made your way downstairs, you were starting to feel the heat radiating from the fire inch by inch. You shuddered at the warmth wafting your face once you stood in front of the fireplace. Sitting yourself down on the carpet, you cross your legs and lifted your hands up to warm them up.
You give a long sigh, relaxing your shoulders and the muscles in your body. For a couple of minutes, you had stayed like this, welcoming the warmth that surrounded you and you felt at peace. You were able to clear your thoughts out to the point you felt like you had moved on from that horrific incident.
“Oh, you’re still up.”
You quickly look behind to see Draco leaning over the balcony, gazing at you. How long has he been standing there for? Why was he still wide awake at this time? More importantly, what the hell do you do now?
Your eyes widen out of shock, instantly turning back and stare at the fireplace and start to fidget with your hands. You could hear him walk down the steps, your heart is starting to beat fast. His footsteps are coming closer. Your mind was racing as you frantically look around. Should you try and run away so you wouldn’t have to face him? Do you stay sitting down and wait for him? Maybe If you thought of a good excuse, you can walk back to the dorm without any awkwardness. Or you can just run away right now and he wouldn’t even have the chance to say something--
Draco clears his throat as he calmly sits himself down next to you. Legs crossed, he also warms his hands up neither saying a word or glancing at you.
You didn’t want to peek at him but you could tell out of the corner of your eye that he doesn’t seem to have a scowl or an irritated look despite being next to you. Instead, he supports a blank face. It was difficult to guess how he’s feeling right now. 
Focusing back on the fireplace, you both sit there in silence, both not having the confidence to speak a single word. It stays like that for a while, listening to the crackling of the fire, hearing his and your quiet breathing, your heartbeat gradually ringing loud in your ears. You were starting to feel uncomfortable with the awkward atmosphere. You weren’t sure if Draco was feeling the same, you were too nervous to check his face.
“Can’t sleep?”
Draco breaks the silence. Finally encouraging yourself to look at him, you wait for him to turn to you and wait for your reply but he doesn’t. His eyes still fixated on the fire in front. You sigh internally. 
“Y-yeah...” Your words wavering at the end. You slowly uncross your legs before bending and pressing them against your chest. You cross your arms and place them on top of your knees, propping your chin on top afterwards.
Great. Draco now knows you’re basically shitting your pants right now. That made you even more nervous. He’s probably making fun of you right now in his head.
“Just wanted to clear my mind and it’s working out fairly good.” You try to laugh your nervousness off in hopes that Draco would ignore your slight tremor from before.
"Your brain must feel as good as new,” Draco said causing you to look at him again, “seeing that you’ve never used it in your whole life.”
You frown at him before rolling your eyes.
“You know, I’ve been trying to see things from your point of view but I can’t get my head that far up my arse.”
You snap back at Draco, waiting for him to give you his iconic nasty look and throw an insult back but to your surprise, he doesn’t. Draco sits there in silence again, he still hasn’t bothered trying to look at you. You were starting to debate whether he was only here to argue or have a normal chat for once or maybe even apologise.
But this was Draco Malfoy you were talking about. He would never in a million years apologise to someone unless they were his father or that he really meant it or if he knew he was in the wrong.
Maybe you should just go and leave him alone, you really weren’t in the mood to argue with him as well as be in the same room as him. Especially after what he said. This will possibly be the last time you exchange words with him, you figured it would be best to stray clear of Draco, ignoring any snide comments he makes and pretend he didn’t exist. It’ll be tough alright but you knew you had to do it.
You sigh once more and stand up, giving Draco one last look. “If you’re only here to tease me then It’s useless to even share the same air with you right now,” He’s still not turning to face you. You didn’t know why you continued standing there as if you’re expecting anything to happen. “so goodbye Malfoy. Nice knowing you by the way.”
You turn on your heels and swiftly walk away, each stepping closer to the stairs. You didn’t dare try to look back, it would only hold you back thus you kept your eyes in front.
“I’m sorry.”
You froze, standing in your spot motionless. Did he just apologise? There’s no way you heard that correctly, no, it’s your mind playing tricks on you convincing you to turn around and accompany him. Just keep walking, Draco didn’t say it.
“I’m sorry.” Apologising again.
You slowly turn around and see that Draco had finally faced you, his eyes bore into yours. Your mouth slightly gaped open as if to speak but no sound could be made. You felt weak under the stares of Draco, you could feel your legs starting to wobble.
“I, uh, didn’t mean what I said before... y’know... me calling you ugly,” Draco bites his bottom lips feeling slightly embarrassed now that he’s facing you. Bowing his head, he continues rambling on, “I didn’t mean to hurt you. It was a mistake, it came out so suddenly--”
“Thank you Draco.”
Draco’s head shoots up, his eyes wide open. He had heard his name come out of your mouth, and it was his first name instead of the usual ‘Malfoy’.
“What?”
“I said thank you Draco.”
A blush crept along his cheeks as he quickly turns his head to the side in an attempt to conceal it. However, he knew it failed as you give a quiet giggle. You found it amusing to see Draco react in a way after hearing his name being said, especially since it was from you.
“For what?”
“You finally apologised to me... and you actually meant it this time without being sarcastic.”
Draco smiles sheepishly, scratching the side of his head with his head still turned away. He couldn’t meet the eyes of yours, he felt too ashamed at the fact that he couldn’t get the blush on his face to fade anytime soon. He gives a short nod as if to acknowledge your thanks causing you to smile in return.
Once again, the silence returns as both of you stand in front of each other, you looking down at your feet fidgeting whilst Draco did the same. Your throat started to dry up as you were too nervous to swallow, the atmosphere became awfully awkward.
“I don’t think you’re ugly by the way,” Draco suddenly said, “you’re the opposite actually.”
Raising your eyebrows, you question him, “Like what? I’m somewhat decent is what you’re trying to say.”
Draco immediately shakes his head.
“Then what?” You were starting to become impatient.
“You’re just not ugly okay? I can’t explain it.”
“Oh so I’m like above ugly but below average looking, maybe those are the words you’re looking for--”
“For Merlin’s sake, you’re pretty goddamn it!”
You instantly shut up, looking at him directly with your mouth slightly gaped open. Draco gives out a long sigh, calming himself down. He had almost shouted it out loud to wake anyone up.
“You’re not ugly, you’re pretty,” Draco said with a much quieter, soft tone. “Really fucking pretty. You were never ugly in my eyes, from the moment I met you up until now, I still find you pretty.”
He steps closer to you, closing in the gap between the both of you before stopping to have only a few metres left. He was practically an arm's length away, close enough for him to hear your heart beating frantically, as well as the heat radiating from you. Draco noticed how you were blushing like mad, after all, this was the closest you guys have ever been.
“I like you Y/N.”
And in the blink of an eye, he steps in further and grabs your chin to lift it upwards before he kisses you. Impulsively, you kiss back as you close your eyes, your lips moving in sync with his. His lips were slightly chapped but it had softened in time as it felt incredibly plumpy against your very own.
His hands gently move to the side of your face, his thumb lightly brushing your cheek. You squirm under his touch but your lips were still laced together, you swore you felt Draco subtly bite your bottom lip indicating that he was enjoying this. And so did you.
After what seemed like forever, Draco pulls apart and drops his hand. Still blushing furiously, you delicately touch your lips. Did you guys really just kiss?
Draco steps back and chuckles, “Sorry, couldn’t help myself.” 
“I like you too.” You randomly blurt out causing Draco to laugh again.
“I know.”
“You knew?”
“I’m not an idiot. You made it quite obvious with your stares and flirting that it wasn’t hard to notice Y/N.” He rolls his eyes.
“Ah...” You said, tucking a bit of your hair behind your ear. “Whoops.”
You open your mouth to speak again. “I feel sorry for the guy who gave me those Valentines gifts.” Draco listens to you curiously, “I can’t imagine the look on his face when he finds out his crush has been kissed by another guy.”
He stares at you in disbelief. “Are you daft?”
“What?” You said, confused.
“I sent you those.” 
“As if. The Draco Malfoy sent me Valentines gifts?” You try to suppress your laughter since you found it amusing. 
Draco shoots you an offended look, “Yeah well, it’s not like I wanted to in the first place. Mother insisted that I man up and woo a girl so I don’t live my life as an old man that’s on the verge of dying as a loner.”
“Whatever you say Malfoy.” Giggling at his poor excuse.
He tuts before he leans back on the couch, crossing his arms, he lifts his head to look at you. He tilts his head to the side and smirks causing you to raise your eyebrows.
“So, does this mean we’re a thing now?”
“No.”
“What? But I just made out with you.”
You turn red at his statement. “You don’t just automatically assume a couple gets together after kissing.” You explained. 
“Then do I have to do something more other than a kiss?” He winks suggestively. You scrunch your face in disgust.
“No, you dimwit, you have to ask them out first in the traditional way.”
Draco lets out an ‘ahh’ and nods slowly. He uncrosses his arms and stands up, still leaning on the couch. “Then will you be my girlfriend?”
You let out a disappointed whine, “Seriously Malfoy, I can’t tell if you’re doing this to be funny or what--”
“No,” Draco stands up and walks closer to you, his hand lifts to grasps yours, taking you by surprise. “I’m serious. I’d like to be your boyfriend Y/N.”
He softly brushes his thumb up and down your fingers, waiting patiently for your answer. He locks eyes with you making your heart flutter. Your mouth kept opening and closing, unable to get a word out. You didn’t know how to respond to his bold question. 
It had only been an hour since you had concluded it was best to discard your crush on Draco and move on with your life. It had only been a few hours since you and several other Slytherin girls were having the time of your lives, badmouthing him. It had been hours since Draco had completely crushed your heart with his hurtful comments. These were enough reasons for you to reject Draco on the spot.
But not enough for it to convince your heart otherwise. No, your heart was telling you to forgive Draco and accept him.
You finally pull out of your thoughts and look at him. Draco looks at you with anticipation and starts overthinking. He wishes that you would answer him anytime now otherwise, he’ll feel humiliated knowing he got rejected. But that quickly disappears when he sees you give a small smile.
“Okay.”
Draco’s mouth forms into a grin, his heart leaping with joy. Oh, how he looked so cute.
“But what about Pansy?”
“What about her?”
“You do know that she’s always had this massive crush on you, right?”
Draco shrugs. “So what?”
You look at him dumbfounded. “I thought you two had a thing for each other.”
“You’re joking?” You shake your head. Draco sighs, “I’ve never liked Pansy, she gets on my nerves.”
“She’s been going around saying she was your Valentines, even showed a box of chocolates with your name on it but everyone could recognise her scruffy handwriting anywhere.” You revealed making Draco snortle.
“Ha! She wishes she was. What a freak.”
You nod trying to believe his words but you still had doubts. Draco notices your troubled look and intertwines his fingers with yours. “Besides,” he starts off. You gaze at him as he gazes back with a smile. “you’re my only valentine.”
Thus with that, he plants a kiss on your cheek making you genuinely smile at him.
●●●
“Ah, looks like Y/L/N finally stopped being emo and joined us back in class.” Mocked Pansy once she stepped inside Potions Class.
Her eyes lie on the back of your head as she struts over to your desk. You lazily sit back on your chair as you watch Pansy sit on the edge of the table.
“Welcome back,” She said with a sarcastic smile. “had an amazing time with your Valentines date?”
You respond by looking at her with a sinister smile. “Oh, you bet. ”
Pansy gives you a weird look before the door slams open and all heads turn to see the source of the loud sound. Draco walks in, his two other goons following behind. Ignoring the eyes of his classmates, he starts making his way to his desk.
You immediately stand up and march over to Draco. Your classmates start to whisper and watch you, thinking you were going to confront Draco and punch him for being an asshole.
Draco stops in his tracks once he saw you were walking towards him, and before he knew it, you grab the sides of his face and kiss him.
Everyone in the room shouts out of shock. They couldn’t believe the scene happening in front of them. One of your classmates, Seamus, makes a catcall causing a few of the boys to laugh. Draco’s goons, on the other hand, looked bewildered seeing him fraternising with the enemy. He definitely had some explaining to do.
The girls looked either jealous or happy. Your friends looked at each other with excited smiles, whilst Hermione just rolled her eyes at the view but aggressively elbowed Ron in his sides after he pulled a disgusted look. 
You pull away making Draco look at you confusingly, still taking in what had happened. 
You shoot a cheeky smile at Pansy over your shoulder, “I had an amazing time.” Pansy angrily glares at you before pushing past you and storms out of the room.
“Everyone’s going to assume we’re a thing now after you kissed me.” He teased as you looked back at him.
“Well, weren’t we always?” You wink at him and turn around, walking back to your desk leaving Draco stunned.
Draco grins to himself, “Touché.”
Both of you knew you two were going to be in the centre of attention again, the main topic to gossip about except this was going to be something new to you both. However, instead of hearing the common ‘Draco and Y/N are fighting again’, it’d turn to ‘Draco and Y/N are having a love quarrel again.’ And that made you excited.
Maybe Valentines Day isn’t a bad event after all.
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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago
Text
Survey #455
“but you didn’t have to cut me off  /  make it like it never happened and that we were nothing”
Are you and the last person you kissed in a relationship or just friends? We're besties! :') Has anyone ever pointed out that your laugh was unusual? No. Would you get a lip piercing? I already have a vertical labret. I've considered getting spiked snakebites (they might be called devil bites?) too, though. With a vertical labret, it looks sick as FUCK. It might be a bit much too close together for me, though, idk. Nose piercing? I want my right nostril re-pierced. What are you currently waiting for? Girt to message me back. I've decided what I want out of our relationship and just want to see him. Do you have feelings for anyone? Hit me pretty hard through a lot of examination of my feelings that yeah, I do. Have you ever run over an animal? Oh my god no, I would be DESTROYED. Have you chewed gum after someone else already has? bro what the fuck When people sneeze do you say ‘bless you’? I do only out of expectation. I don't want someone to think I'm an ass or something for not saying it. When was the last time you were on a bouncy castle? A few years ago for my niece's birthday. She was scared of how loud it was and was very reluctant to get near it, so my fat ass got in there with everyone else to show her it was fine lol. I can't remember if she eventually got in. She loves them now, though. :') Have you ever went on a bouncy castle whilst drunk? No, but thanks for the idea, ha ha. Have you ever entered an art competition? Yes. What is one thing you will never do? Try hardcore drugs. What is one food that you detest? Asparagus. Did you have a rebellious phase growing up? Not really. What religion were you brought up with? Roman Catholic. Are you still that religion? GOD NO. Do you often find yourself questioning your future? That's my full-time job. How many friends do you have on Facebook? 124. What sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school? The same I listen to now. What pet names do you use with your significant other? I'm single rn, but usually, I go for "sweetie/sweetheart," "hunny," "love," "dear," stuff like that. What’s the name of the store you usually get your groceries? Wal-Mart. Have you ever seen a theatre show? Yes. What’s your favourite vegetable? Broccoli. Have you ever missed a flight? Yes. I was SO fuckin upset because it was on Sara's birthday and planned in secret, and I was supposed to wake her up. It still wound up being a big surprise to her when she walked into her room and I was chillin' at her desk, ha ha, but I still wish it coulda gone as originally planned. Do your neighbours have any pets? Have you ever met them? Yes; they have a yappy-ass dog that doesn't shut up. I haven't met them. What color is your bedroom door? White. If you were ever to become famous, would you grow annoyed at fans? This may sound very ungrateful, but I have heard A LOT of celebrities say it: it would get old, being stopped constantly in public for signatures, pictures, etc. Like yes, I still WOULD be grateful, but I'd miss just being off the radar and able to go outside carrying out chores and stuff like a normal person. Have you ever met your favourite band/singer? No. :( Are you embarrassed by any of the songs/singers/bands you like? Nah, not nowadays. Have you ever written a story? Yes, a kinda short one when I was little. Think of the last poem you wrote: What inspired you to write it? The breakup with Jason and the fact we're just strangers again. It was really short, but I like it a lot, honestly. Do you have a chance with the person you like right now? I think so. What’s the weirdest thing you were scared of as a child? A skeleton in my closet, lol. Literally. Are there any embarrassing stories your family tells about you? alkdsjflakjwle yes In your opinion, what is the funniest TV show? That '70s Show. 3rd Rock From the Sun is high up there, too. What is the maximum number of children you’d ever have? HYPOTHETICALLY, two, but I'm pretty damn serious about having none. I just always feel kinda bad for children without a sibling, but three would make me pull my hair out. Have you ever been concerned you had a serious illness? Yes. I overreact to even minor symptoms to ANYTHING. Are you comfortable with who you are? No. Pretty much everything about myself embarrasses me, even if it shouldn't. Would you date someone even if you knew you’d get made fun of for it? Yes? Others' opinions don't affect how I feel about someone. Does popularity matter to you at all? No, outside of trying to be a successful photographer. Would you ever consider homeschooling your children? If they really wanted that and it would benefit them, yes. Who told you about the band/singer you are currently listening to? I discovered them myself. Do you ever read fanfiction? Nah. Would you rather die in a plane crash, ship wreck or fire? Jesus. A plane crash, I guess, because in a lot of cases, it would be an immediate death. What are your top five favourite TV shows? Meerkat Manor, Fullmetal Alchemist (and Brotherhood; shut up, they go together), That '70s Show, Ginga Densetsu Weed, and Deadman Wonderland. What is your favorite superhero movie? Logan. If you died next week, what would be the cause of death? Uhhhh idk... I guess maybe a heart attack? Judging by doctor appointments, my heart is just fine, but the fact still remains that I'm technically obese, so that's always a risk. Have you ever taken a break from Facebook or other social media? Why? Facebook, yes. It was just depressing me. I was playing the comparison game REAL hard. Who is the most talented person you know? I dunno. I know many people talented in a lot of areas. Are you currently platonic friends with anyone you’ve had sex with? No. Where did you and your current interest go on your first date? Bowling. Have you ever experienced two people fighting over you (physically or mentally)? What happened? Jason and Juan pursued me at the same time. They'd known each other in the past, and Juan hated him for "winning" his ex-girlfriend. Then when Jason and I got together, Juan wasn't the happiest for sure. Have your parents ever thought you were gay? What happened? Before I actually came out as bisexual, I don't think so? Are your parents more liberal or conservative? Conservative. Mom is more open, but still conservative. I think. What year are you going into at the beginning of the next academic year? I'm not in school. How far away does your closest family member live? I live with Mom. If you’ve seen both, did you prefer the Disney version or the Tim Burton version of Alice in Wonderland? I actually strongly prefer Tim Burton's. Would you have sex before marriage? Why or why not? Yeah. I just want to be in a long-term, serious, healthy relationship to reach that point and be as safe as possible about it. Are you more liberal or conservative? Liberal, but I do have some conservative beliefs, too. Who is your favorite Harry Potter character? I don't have one, given I never got into that franchise. What’s the worst that could come out of letting gays marry? Not a goddamn thing. What’s the most sexual thing you’ve done? Done "the thing." Name something that you are against. I'll go with an unconventional one that's a problem as of the late: making owning reptiles illegal. Why are you against it? Because reptiles are perfectly capable of being brilliant pets and, most importantly, can tame people's fears of them. I think that it's very important to see the worth and beauty in all animals, and reptiles are one of the most unappreciated families out there. :/ Have you ever played the Tomb Raider games? I played some of either the first or second one. I could never beat it. Old games are hard, man. Do you like it or hate it when your partner is clingy? I absolutely believe that it can get to an extreme that I don't like, but for the most part, I don't mind a clingy partner because hey, I am too. Beatles or Rolling Stones? Stonessss. When was the last time you changed your opinion on somebody? It'd been on my mind for a while, but I *officially* realized that I really do like-like Girt a couple days ago. And since then it's gotten a bit hardcore and all I wanna do is talk to him bc fuck me and how attached to people I get. What was the last thing that made you feel proud and why? Every single time I go to the gym, I feel proud of myself because it REALLY takes a lot out of me. Do you feel uncomfortable when people you hardly know confide in you? Nope. I'm willing to be a shoulder to cry on for like... anyone. If you're hurting, talk to someone. I'll be there as an easy option. What was the last thing to fascinate you? It was... INCREDIBLY disturbing and almost nauseating even for me, but I saw a video of a dead whale explode. It was GRUESOME. Guts just kept coming and coming and coming and :x Is there a certain noise/sound which scares you? Hmmm... I'm sure there is, but what, it's not coming to me. Sudden, loud noises are an obvious answer. Do you have a favourite microorganism? ... No, I can't say I do. Out of the people you know, whose birthday is next? Girt's, actually. It's in October. If you have pet fish do you bother to name them? I did when I actually had them as a kid. Do you keep your eggs in the fridge? Ye. Have you ever owned chickens? No, but that'd be cool. Fresh eggs from a properly cared for chicken taste SO much better. When did you last listen to music? Currently. NOW I'm obsessed with Melodicka Bros & Violet Orlandi's cover of "Somebody That I Used to Know." It's done in a gothic metal style and is amaaaazing.
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