#and idk if i'm going to keep everything up on the shop all the time

[toughtinkart]

big news!!! i'm opening a print shop!

>>>✨link to my new inprnt shop✨<<<

right now it's mostly just my locked tomb-inspired work, but i plan on adding some other things there soon. if you're one of the folks who was hoping for prints of one or any of these, please go check it out! share it with your friends! etc!

also, if you have other pieces of mine you'd like to see in print format, let me know. :D

[onethousxndvoices]

Been working on cleaning up/making my Ko-fi page a bit more robust and found an option for monthly subscriptions. I already have a $1 tip jar tier up just as kind of a test run to see how it works, but it's got me thinking:

Price wouldn't be very high, probably capped to $3 a month (price subject to change, idk yet). I'll be using that space to post page wips, extra doodles, and, when it comes time to start posting the next track, Ko-fi members will get to read 3-4 pages ahead. Or something along those lines. Would that be something y'all would be interested in?

[pegasusdrawnchariots]

the eternal question: is scheduling w friends as an adult That Hard or am I just bad at it

[causenessus]

love notes

part 0.4. THE "I'M DISAPPOINTED" CARD

"i've been right here from the start just keep on dancing in the dark i'll be right here when you part."

from wasted affairs by mind's eye, left at the kansai international airport, osaka

prev. | m.list | next

extras <3

technically msby probably would've just taken a bus to kyoto since it's so close to osaka but for some reason i chose kyoto and mentioned it in chapter 3?? so i couldn't go back on my word SO THIS WAS MY BAD I'M SORRY

kansai is an international airport but according to my research 🤓☝ it's also somewhere for charter/private planes to board

that whole security process is so confusing i tried my best but this is literally a fanfiction forgive me if idk how charter jets work 🙏

omi was obviously the first one to the airport and checked in as early as possible to make sure he'd be on time

suna and oikawa arrived around the same time and then the three of them waited like an hour and they were supposed to board in 30 minutes and no one else had shown up yet

they found out bokuto got lost and oikawa was sent to find him while atsumu wouldn't respond to their texts which led to sakusa calling them all out in the gc

omi was upset because they COULD'VE boarded earlier if everyone was there but they were waiting on atsumu

so everyone was sitting in the lobby twiddling their thumbs in silence as they waited for him to arrive

atsumu tried to pretend like everything was normal and fine when he showed up and sat next to oikawa but then omi immediately stood up and was like "get your ass up. we're leaving now."

osamu was asked to be a vendor at the msby game like three hours before it started and had to leave y/n managing the shop by herself for the night </3

atsumu was literally shaking when he saw suna turn his phone off and get out of bed after osamu ratted him out about y/n

he couldn't see where suna was in the dark and screamed when suna threw a pillow at him

then he slept like a baby <3 while suna was tucked in bed with a goofy smile texting y/n

he took his leap of faith saying that he'd give her flowers and then immediately tried to distract her from it by sending another picture of something else he saw (but he's def the one that put up the flower box then pretended it was just something he found in kyoto when he texted y/n if that makes sense <3 this will come into play next chapter)

taglist: @0moonii @iluvmang @bluebeanbee @wyrcan @oyasumeii @froyaoya @gyuijns @nbcvs @milkteade @eggyrocks @guitarstringed-scars @makkir0ll @mylahrins @cherrypieyourface @vivian-555 @sharkerino @r0seandth0rns @staileykout @lunavixia @thvvluvr @elliott0o0 @wolffmaiden @rockleeisbaeeee @toges-cough-syrup @cnnmairoll @ryeyeyer @hibernatinghamster @localgaytrainwreck @lemonocity @bows4life @sereniteav @madiexuberant @eclecticeggknightpsychic @phoenix-eclipses @sonicsolos @httpakkeiji @brkfclub @snail-squasher @starry-magicshop @cr4yolaas @kitnootkat @zzzlevislothzzz @iluv-ace @iluvaquaphor @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @applepi25 @twiishaa @girlkissersco @sleepystrwbrryy @encrypta

[rhiannswork]

for free

spencer ᕁ college!reader

warnings: fluffy, suggestive, slight age gap, hair washing idk, rossi!daughter (idk why just go along with it.) possibly will need a pt.2

a/n: have 'buttons' by steve lacy ready to play (you'll know when to play it). p.s. you're adopted! this is in fact a story for everyone! anybody can be rossi's daughter.

ever since you were accepted into cosmetology school, you've been looking for someone to practice on. emily was too nervous to let you experiment on her hair, rossi, your father's hair was too frail to be styled in any way, jj didn't have time to be gone constantly for hair appointments, as for morgan... well he didn't have any hair to begin with.

spencer's natural curls had a certain charm to them - when they were well-maintained, that is. however, as you've observed, he didn't quite take care of his hair as much as he could have. it seemed that his washing routine was basic at best, and he rarely used any products to improve is curls. his once-curly hair would often appear straight and plain.

incredibly, you were able to persuade spencer to come over, let alone agree to you doing his hair. your influence was evidently strong enough to cause him to accept, and that's why you're now making sure your house is clean. cleaning every room with meticulous care even the rooms spencer had no business entering. 

after you finish cleaning up your home, you check the time to see if you have time for a shower. luckily, you still have about forty-eight minutes before spencer arrives. this gives you just enough time to take a quick shower and prep the bathroom so you could do spencer's hair. you quickly make your way to the bathroom and turn on the shower, allowing the water to warm up. while waiting, you set out all the products you planned on using.

once the water is warm enough, you step into the shower and quickly wash your hair and body. you don't want to waste any unnecessary time, so you keep your shower short and sweet. after getting out, you dry off and wrap a towel around yourself. you ran to your room and put your candy-scented lotion on and grabbed a tank top along with shorts. you were aware of the elevated temperatures during hair styling sessions, there was no way you were going to risk sweating.

you heard the doorbell and immediately headed to the door. carefully, you looked through the peephole and saw spencer standing in his business attire. you wanted to look perfect for him and quickly put your hand over half of your face that was covered in makeup, not wanting him to see you looking incomplete. you opened the door to see spencer smile slightly.

"well hello dr reid," you greeted, striving for a confident posture despite having your hand partly obscuring your face. "hello." he pursed his lips together. "are you on your way to a meeting or something? i mean you've got the suit on and everything." you graciously moved aside to allow him to enter your home. "no, i just didn't know how to dress for this occasion." he walked inside, you watched as he looked around your apartment. "you've never gone to barber shops?"

reid shook his head, you sighed calmly, "oh i'm sure i have something for you to wear." after that, you quickly ran back to your bedroom and shut the door. imagining reid standing there in the living room not knowing what to do was not a pleasant thought. you opened the door slowly and asked him politely if he'd like to take a seat and maybe turn on the tv for entertainment as you finished getting ready.

you completed the last touches for your makeup and hairstyle. as you looked for an appropriate outfit, you noticed an oversized nirvana t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts that were too big in your drawers. you handed these items to Spencer and then headed to the kitchen to get him a water bottle.

“try them on-- i'm sure they'll fit," you said with a smile. he got up went over to the restroom near the living room and changed into your lounge clothes. meanwhile, you watched the show that spencer ended up choosing on television until he reappeared before you. 

as he stepped out of the bathroom, you couldn't help but snicker. the oversized basketball shorts had swallowed his slim frame, and the nirvana t-shirt was hanging on him like a sack.

"you look like you're swimming in those clothes," you said, giggling. spencer rolled his eyes and scrunched up his nose, making you laugh even harder. "very funny," he muttered, pouting a little. you shrugged. "well it’s not like we're going anywhere fancy. those clothes are perfect for lounging around."

you handed the water bottle to him, leading him to the kitchen sink. "you think you could lay on the counter, i don't want your neck hurting." he nodded and positioned himself accordingly. "is the water too hot?" you slowly rinsed his head with the faucet head held above his scalp. watching his expression carefully, you could see the relief wash over him as soon as it had begun. "spence?" you questioned softly, making sure he was doing okay. "it's perfect.” 

as you applied shampoo to spencer's hair and massaged it in, you quickly discovered multiple knots. “you’ve gotta detangle often spencer,” you shook your head, reaching over to grab a brush. “well, that’s your job. is it not?” he playfully questioned your role as a professional hairstylist. “shut up.” you grinned as you continued to scratch his scalp with your nails. 

as he settled into a state of relaxation, you couldn't help but glance admiringly at him. you realized that you had been massaging his head for quite some time, and he looked so peaceful. "you okay?" you asked, pausing in your ministrations. "mmhmm, just enjoying the pampering," he murmured, his eyes still closed. "don't get too comfortable."

you finished up with his hair, wrapped the orange towel around his head, and tapped his legs to signal that you were done. "wake up, we're not done!" you said. " usually after washing my hair, i am done." "and that's why your hair has never reached its full potential," you continued. "but we're not done yet, so wake up!" you skipped to your bathroom where you awaited spencer's arrival. you positioned the slightly outdated office chair in front of the mirror. spencer walked in shortly after you did and stood at the door frame. "you can sit down," you giggled. he acted like he didn't hear you and stood there awkwardly. finally, you motioned for him to sit down in the chair so you could finish up his hair. "is everything okay?" you asked. he nodded and said, "yeah, that massage was quite relaxing. i'm still recovering from the fatigue."

you removed the towel from reid's head, ruffling it one last time before hanging it up on the curtain rod. his hair looked so pretty already, you understood why spencer never did anything else to his hair. "looked at it! it's already curling up." you scrunched up the ends of his hair. you grabbed your phone and connected it to your speaker. "it's too quiet in here." you commented. you scrolled through your playlist and stumbled upon 'buttons' by steve lacy. the melody began to play along with the bass.

you began to do spencer's hair, you grabbed some hair moisturizer and handed him the container. "read the ingredients tell me if there is anything bad for you in there." while he was reading, you parted his hair into four sections. "i'll do these back ones first, then i'll turn you around for these front two." he nodded while scanning the container. "hey, i fall in love with you," you sang along with lacy as you started with the right side of his hair, you ran your fingers through his developing curls, scrunching them up in your hands.

"in my room~ in my room~" as the music played, you carefully wound the man's hair around your fingers until all of it was curly. your body swayed in time with the music and your work was meticulous - creating perfect artificial curls that covered his head.

"okay, i'm gonna use this diffuser." you held up what looked be like a wacky hair dryer. "what exactly is that?" spencer laughed. "it's a hair dryer for curls, just watch!" you cupped some of his hair into the dryer and turned it on to medium-high.

you continued humming as you ran your fingers through the back of his hair. once you were done, you turned him around to face you. you didn't think he was that close to your body, but he was. "i hope this is okay... it'll only be for a minute." he was extremely close to your breasts and you caught him taking a few glances every now and then.

"having fun down there?" you giggled as you watched spencer's eyes convert somewhere other than your chest. "what? i- um" he choked. you shook your head and continued to do his hair, shaking the diffuser to create volume. "you can look spencer, this probably won't be the last time you'll have boobs in your face." you giggled. "as long as you're not uncomfortable... are you spencer?" you tilted your head as you removed the diffuser from his head to hear him better.

"no... i'm not" he shyly spoke. "good!" you continued to diffuse his hair. "well i'm done! i just need to find the hair oil." you searched your bathroom for some. "i have cotton candy-scented oil from my relaxer kit... smell." you handed the small bottle to him as you turned your chair back around.

"smells nice..." he handed it back to you. you put some oil into your hand and ran the oil through his hair, scrunching the curls once again. "annnnnd... voila!" you jumped. "you have now reached full curl capacity! it looks so cute!" you sang. "i have a room for you to stay in, after all, it's one in the morning." you said while cleaning up the bathroom. "oh thank you." he smiled, he up from the chair. "of course." you nodded.

"it's the room on the first floor," you smiled.

[httpskuzuu]

Please, Fedya

idk why, but I'm very embarrassed to publish this

Yandere!Fyodor x Reader

English is not my mother tongue, sorry for the mistakes.

tw: kidnapping, yandere, mention of: broken bones, abuse, isolation, bad mental health, punishment and escape attempt (nothing explicit really), stockholm syndrome, fyodor is a general tw

Your life with Fyodor had been good, as good as a life with a kidnapper could be, but you would never admit that out loud, it would be too hard a blow to your dignity.

At first everything was hell, Fyodor was the definition of cruel, it took you months to be able to get out of the 4 walls where he locked you up, in complete darkness. It screwed up your eyesight, your sleep and your overall health, physical and mental. He at least fixed those problems, paid for your eye surgery, gave you vitamin D supplements, helped you by fixing your sleep schedule, etc.

It wasn't so bad, except that not all the issues could be fixed, your mental health was horrible, it still is, you doubted he could fix that.

Before you had all that help Fyodor gave you, you had to change your behavior, you were always a fighter and with Fyodor it would be no exception. The turning point of your behavior was the night you tried to escape. He caught you, as punishment he broke both your legs and your fingers, he also left you in complete isolation, you don't know for how long. Since that punishment, you never disobeyed Fyodor again, not intentionally at least.

As time went by, and when he saw that your meek behavior was not a lie, he began to give you more liberties. One of the most important for you was the freedom to go outside, obviously accompanied by Fyodor.

Also, with that freedom to go out, you realized that Fyodor liked to treat you like a doll. Every time he allowed you to go out he was the one who dressed you, you had no voice or vote in that.

On those outings, you realized that the place you were in was Russia, you didn't know specifically which part. Before arriving in Russia, you had never seen snow in person, so it was beautiful the first time.

Today was one of those days that Fyodor allowed you to go out.

He dressed you in warm clothes and took you to a coffee shop. It was nicer than you thought it would be, not only because you went outside, but because your talks with Fyodor were pleasant.

By the time you left the coffee shop, it was getting dark, but you convinced Fyodor to go to a local bookstore and buy some books. It wasn't for you to read it (you didn't understand Russian and Fyodor had never tried to teach you so you couldn't communicate with others), it was for Fyodor to read it to you, it was an activity that, surprisingly, you enjoyed very much. You left the bookstore with a book of poems whose cover caught your attention.

Walking on your way home you heard high-pitched meowing coming from an alley, you stopped your steps and, consequently, to Fyodor, who was holding your hand.

"What is it, милый?"

"I heard meowing." Your gaze did not move from the alley.

You let go of Fyodor's hand and headed down the alley, Fyodor followed you closely until you reached a cardboard box lying on the ground.

You bent down and opened the box to find an orange furred cat, it was about the size of your hand and very thin. You wondered what kind of horrible person had abandoned such a cat.

You petted it and the cat reacted affectionately, rubbing its head against your hand. You laughed at the action and turned your head to see Fyodor standing behind you, still standing. "Please, Fedya, let's keep him."

Fyodor wasn't a big fan of cats, or animals in general, it wasn't that he hated them, but he preferred not to have pets. But there you were, begging him for an abandoned cat, and, well, you were being on excellent behavior, so he needed to give you a reward, right?

"Okay, but you'll be the one to take care of it." You nodded quickly as you grabbed the cat, pulled him against your chest, and covered him up as best you could with your coat.

The two of you walked out of the alley, you were petting the cat's little head as you smiled. Fyodor just looked at you, appreciating how cute you looked when you were happy. He thought that, perhaps, he could do more things to see that smile of yours more often.

[b1rds3ye]

AASAABSJS I'm so glad your requests are openn!!!! I seriously love the way you write for the characters! I think your writing is so in character an ARHBAHHA 😍😍🤩🤩🥰🥰SO may i request how the 141 boys react when the see their s/o has made them in the sims? Like they see him and his s/o in their little sims family. Idk I thought it would be cute.

Love you! Don't rush and take care of yourself 💗💗💖💖💋

I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME ALMOST TWO MONTHS ASDKFJASDKF MY BRAIN WAS NOT BRAINING WITH THIS PROMPT

Look, It’s Us!

How the 141 boys react to you making you, them and a potential family in the Sims (+ other little gaming shenanigans)

Characters: Captain John Price, Simon “Ghost” Riley, Johnny “Soap” MacTavish, Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

Genre: Pure Fluff

Word Count: 1.2k (~400 words each)

A/N: Gotta confess, I’ve never actually played the Sims before ACK-

Captain John Price

It’s not often, but Price will occasionally play the Sims when he truly has nothing else to do. He’s not particularly creative with it though, just lets the game randomly generate a character and then lives their life with the quirks they have. Still, good fun!

John figured you’d play the opposite to him, testing the limits of the game and torturing your Sims with that simultaneously wonderful and terrifying mind of yours - beyond the army John doesn’t have the creativity to turn Sims into experiments that violate human rights. So imagine his pleasant surprise when he notices you playing relaxedly with a whole family that looked like you and him, taking the greatest care in making sure everything goes well

“Having fun there, love?” he smiles, looking over your shoulder. When you zoom in on the little Price you made in the Sims and then comment how it’s not nearly as handsome as the real thing, he swears you’re single-handedly warming up this jaded heart of his

He could watch you all day as you tinker on the game, but he naturally acts as your anchor. He doesn’t care if this is just a Sims version of you, you are not hijacking that spaceship and blasting off to god knows where! Ultimately he can’t stop you but the conversations that have come out of your antics are very entertaining

John nods along as you animatedly talk about the little virtual family you made. Whether it’s the family itself or your choices in customising the home, he’s listening and he’s remembering. He might not have infinite money like when you’re playing with cheats but it’s in his nature to give you his all, and he won’t stop giving until he’s made an imitation of your dream on the screen

Simon “Ghost” Riley

He hasn’t touched the game, he’s not particularly interested but he’ll definitely be around you when you play. Simon will be doing his own thing, but upon hearing the signature background music of the Sims you’ll see the slightest bop of his head

It was one day, he walked past you, his eyes flickering on the screen while you zoomed up on a character with features suspiciously like his. He watches silently as you zoom out, and there’s a character that looks like you as well and- is that a kid?

“Looks nothin’ like us,” he says simply at the family. “Not my fault you don’t have an imagination,” you stick out your tongue. “I’ll install some mods for more customisation.” He was just cracking a joke but it’s endearing how seriously you take your virtual counterparts

Simon doesn’t just observe the family, he also observes the rest of what you’ve customised. Is that your dream house? Ah, it seems you like that style of furniture. Simon will keep that in mind the next time you have to go shopping, or will find small gifts for you with the same general aesthetic

Has the uncanny ability to speak simlish - or at least replicate the sounds. It sounds straight from the game, you have no idea how he picked it up or why. If you ask he says it’s because “you’re bloody addicted to playin’ that thing”. All you know is that if one of the Sims shouts out something Simon will actually grumble out a response under his breath

Your Sims family has become a little mental vision board for Simon. To keep fighting to return home, to slowly but surely clean up the mess that is his broken mind until he can guarantee a future with you that is equally as tranquil and colourful as the little pixels on your screen

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish

Johnny loves his action and exhilarating games, shooters, horror, you name it. As such, he doesn’t play Sims much but if he does, he’s treating his randomly generated sims as human lab rats

Roasts your character customisation to hell and back. Johnny’s gripping onto you, shaking you back and forth, dramatically whining about how his eyes aren’t that specific shade of blue, his mohawk isn’t that big and you’ve got his nose all wrong- what are you doing?!

He’ll complain but if you actually give him controls he’ll customise his own character to look noticeably worse. Just don’t ever give him access to this game because he’ll also make your character look nothing like you

That being said, Johnny gets really into the little family you’ve made. He’s actively discussing with you the furnishings that should be used in the house, if your virtual child should be a ghost hunter or a fortune teller, and if you need a bathroom break he’s ensuring no one sets the virtual house on fire

You better not tell Johnny that you’ve added pets into the virtual family because Johnny is already out the door to the nearest animal shelter. If there are things that these stupid little Sims have that is easy to get or Johnny already wanted, he will get

At the odd moment, you’ll catch Johnny getting quite sentimental over the game. Working in the army is chaotic, never mind his actual role as demolitions expert, it’s hard for him to ever imagine a day where he settles down. But watching you fret over whether this virtual couch should be placed on the left or right side of the living room has him looking forward to that day (by the way you should put the couch towards the back)

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

Kyle has honestly tried every game under the sun if it’s casual and entertaining enough, from PVP shooters to laid-back simulators. If you’re not playing Sims, then he will be. But if you’ve beaten him to the punch he doesn’t make you stop, only sitting back and watching you keenly, commentating and giving you suggestions

He’s actually been part of the creative process since Day 1, when you made Sims versions of you and him, he tried to find the character customisation features that best resembles yours, but could only lament that he couldn’t make your Sim look as good looking as you

He loves starting off the game where your respective Sims are strangers, going through all the motions of wooing you all over again, proving to you that no matter the context Kyle will win your heart. You may have to comfort him with cuddles if your Sim version rejects his Sim’s advances though

Once your Sims are together, this little flirt will tell you that your Sims need more kids knowing full well what that implies

Kyle likes provoking you a little, discreetly suggesting using the ugliest pieces of furniture available in making your house. When you bite back that you’re going to make sure this house looks perfect, he’ll eventually relent after begging with his signature puppy-dog eyes

He’s memorised some of the Sim’s spoken dialogue, particularly the romance lines spoken in that exaggerated flirty tone. He’ll say it to you out of the blue sometimes, causing you to burst out into giggles

The game is all fun and, well, games, but it doesn’t stop Kyle from looking forward to the future. You might not have access to the grim reaper, you may never be able to build a pool surrounded with toilets in real life, but he’s excited to create his own little home and family with you, whatever it may look like

Call of Duty Masterlist

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

hii wifey!!! okay it's currently super late where i am right now and i can't sleep 😭 but ever since my post on @dirty-little-mind33 i- i haven't been able to stop thinking of dbf!tangerine 😫

like like JDJSJDDJHFFJ

it's giving your dad's hired hitman and they're friends or whatever (don't ask for the specifics, I'm half asleep) and he takes a liking to you and he treats you like a princess FR

keeps you in check so you stay out of trouble, little touches, "love", "princess", "sweetness", "SWEET GIRL" ANRJRNENDN like it's giving the same vibes as bodyguard!tan.

can just imagine him sitting in an armchair of your living room, legs spread bc he's a man and it's sometimes super hot (don't sue me), and he asks you for a lighter and so you hand him one and he blows smoke in your face as he thanks you and calls you his good girl 🥵

okay sorryyyyyyyyyy this is so long i just needed to share and hear your thoughts 🫶

on another note, dbf!logan is also sooo hot but that's for another ask 💖

my wife!! hi wifey! so this will be like im talking to you directly, like im typing everything my brain is thinking in real time. it makes it personal and intimate, I love it. enjoy 💞💞💞💞(also sorry only just got round to this)

no bc you’re so onto something EURRRGGHHHH!!!!

and like okay right so! he’s been working for your dad for a few years and bc it’s only been a few years he’s not known you long (meaning he didn’t see you grow up etc bc that’ll be😃🤮) and like when you visit ur parents or idk you live with them (pick what you fancy) you see him at the dining table with your dad and got all the papers out and laptops etc and they’re chatting about work stuff/ plan

idea time. you go past them and into the kitchen and your dad is none the wiser looking at the papers and maybe questioning the prices but tans looking at you in the kitchen. and tans like “do us a couple teas would ya darling” (ew tan, why would you say that? have you no respect? no shame?) and he’s being all cheeky bc of the darling. but your dad doesn’t think anything of it, like it’s a common petname kinda thing. and it makes your ears prick and turn to look at him and he’s all smug????? and nodding at you????

this is really getting away from me but im not done, you’ve got me going 😭😭😭

tan definitely tests the waters, pushes the boat out LOADS. like he’s so teasing and cheeky in how he does it. def touches your back when ur dads in the same room, looks at you during dinners, sits opposite you during said dinners and touches you with his foot (but not in an gross way bc feet are disgusting) or sits beside you during said dinners and spreads his legs so his thigh bumps yours AND AHHAAHHAGAHA OMG THIS IS KILLING ME has his elbows wide on the table so he takes up more space and feels your arm up with his

and if you’re in the garden after dinner getting some air bc of what happened at the table. he’d come out and join you. but not properly. you might be at the end of the garden sitting at the patio table or something and he’s on the steps by the back door having a fag. like he’s keeping an eye on you but not making it obvious for your family inside

he’s also always offering lifts! so like if you don’t have a car or it’s in the shop or idk blah blah you ask your dad for a lift and tans there and he offers to drive you. and you’re like “no it’s fine” bc sitting in a car with him will make you like idk but like yk GO CRAZY. and tans all like “it’s no fuss. gotta pick something up that way anyway” and your dad is still oblivious so he’s agreeing to it like “tan’ll take you” and tan grabs his keys and he’s nodding you along like (okay don’t hate me for this. I don’t have a daddy kink but this idea is sending me and I need to say it) he’s all like “what daddy said goes” 😫😃😫😀🫠👍😉😔😖😱😰🫣🤭🤔AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASAAAAAHHHH!!! and it has a double meaning!!!!!!!!!!!! bc he means your dad but also him!!!!!!! and the ‘take you’ bit!!!!! he also means that he’ll take you. like fuck you. so it’s all a huge double entendre

GOD THIS IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!! making me wanna do something with dbf tan now

but he’s such a gentleman about it. like he’s teasing and smug and cocky but he’s still very charming and charismatic about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and when he drops you off he’s looking at your ass getting out and then opens the window to talk to you through the car and he’s like “call me if you need me”

and you’re like “why would I call you?” like shouldn’t he be saying to call your dad????

and he’s all like “you know why”

and you’re like “huh?” looking at him all weird

AND YHEN HE SAYS “he don’t pay attention to you like I do” GOOD DUCKING GOD SJJABSJDBS

im gonna have to stop there bc I know I never will. plus I have rice cooking and the timer went off 5 mins ago so I really gotta run😭😭😭😭

but you’re so right about him being the same as bodyguard tangerine!!!

[mostlyghostlyy]

just watched longlegs. could u write a lil something abt longlegs being creepy and weird towards someone hes got a lil crush on. unwanted touches and incorrect social cues. just talking to him makes u feel violated.

Oh, he would be the WORST! 

I would imagine his crush would be fast acting. Like idk, you work at the hardware store, or local market where he does his shopping. He would interact with you once, then immediately develop an obsession with you overnight, if not that very moment. You’d start seeing him more. What turned into a once a week visit has become often an everyday occurrence.

I think he would immediately seek you out whenever possible. At first it wasn't uncomfortable, you could make small talk with him, even if he was a little unsettling. Although he seemed to be getting worse with every interaction. I'm not even sure if it's the inability to read social cues, or the complete apathy he holds towards them, but they would be scattered to the winds whenever he is talking with you.

Communicating with him would be hell. Tell him “Well, I really should get back to work.” or “have a good rest of your day” or subtle hints that you want him gone don't work. Turn away or start walking and he is following right beside you. Cross your arms and look disinterested and he will keep talking.  He is also a very touchy person, he will just grab you where he wants when he wants. Then pout if you slap his hand and yell at him. Multiple times he has reached to pet your hair. Sifting his fingers through and cooing about how soft and nice it was. He tries touching you whenever he can, grazing your arms, or occasionally touching your hips and sides.

He has started to stand close to you, way too close. Close enough to smell your shampoo. Which you can audibly hear him do. Long awkward pauses carry many of your conversations, this is unfortunate because you can hear everything he does. His heavy breathing, mainly through his mouth when he is not inhaling your scent. Huffs coming out in raspy blows, you notice that he starts breathing more and more heavily around you. 

The way he looks at you, you can tell he is fucking you with his eyes. His cold blue eyes roaming over your body, not caring if you knew. He is constantly staring at your tits, licking his lips before going back to smiling at you. If you were wearing anything other than a crew neck shirt, anything that even hinted at possible cleavage, or godforbid a plunging v-neck and he wouldn't be able to peel his eyes away.

He would make weird ass comments too. “You’re so pretty, you should come work for me instead.” or “You have such a nice voice, Angel. You should show me what else that mouth does.” Or just something that he blurts out and you don't know if he meant to say it aloud like “What color are your nipples”  or something of that nature. It is becoming harder for him to control his arousal with you, getting a boner multiple times throughout your conversations. I don't even think he would try to hide it because he's just that degenerate.

Kobble stalks around the store. Practically looming over you until you’re alone. And once you are, he's pretty much on top of you. Shuffling up to you and asking about your day, you keep moving away from him, walking backwards until your ass hits the corner wall. He's putting his hands on your waist now, pushing you further into the wall. “Please, dont. There are other people in this building, I-” He swiftly mocks your cries “We’re all alone in this corner, Angel. And besides-” You try pushing past him. He grunts, grinding his teeth. Shoving you back into the wall, he gives you a cautionary glare. “I’ll make you feel good.”

He slides his hands up to grope at your breasts. Pawing at them and playing with them through the fabric. You turn your face away from his sour breath as he chuckles. Soon he trails his hands under your shirt, under your bra. No barrier protecting your tits from his adventurous touch. You’re still squirming. “Do you like that? What's the matter? Don't want to talk to your old friend Dale? Oh but we are friends right?” He hums, mouth right against your ear. 

You feel something wet and warm pressed against the side of your face. It doesn't take you long to think “Oh god that's his tongue” You let out a little sob, which seems to encourage him. He's dragging his tongue from the corner of your mouth up to your ear. Then you feel the wet muscle probe your ear. He's lapping at your ear for minutes. Moaning into it, pushing his tongue as far down your ear canal as he possibly can.  Swirling around the lobe and biting. He’s biting so hard, trying to make your earlobe bleed. All the while still groping at your tits, squeezing them and running his thumb over your nipples. 

He pulls away, a string of spit connects him to your ear. your ear is damp with saliva and probably blood too. Kobble wipes his chin, and lewd smile on his face. He promises to come back tomorrow for round two.

[gor3-hound]

meant to be yours

ft. leon kennedy x fem!reader

cw: 18+ content, dead dove, unwilling cannibalism - reciever doesn't know! self-mutilation. obsessive, creepy, delusional reader. no real sex but masturbation n fantasies. very little smut and also a lil vomit.

a/n: idk why, but i... could not get this out of my head. been writing this the past few hours n it's now 1am... all i'm gonna say is read at your own discretion

word count: 1.9k words

There wasn't much good in your life. Not really. You'd never been one to talk much. No family, no friends. You spent most of your life working, dropping out of school, and saving money from a young age in order to pursue your one true passion - baking.

Opening up your own shop was hard. You went hungry most nights in order to skim a little cash from your dead-end job to be able to afford the down payment. But it worked. You had your own bakery, and business was booming.

For once in your life, you felt happy.

The day Leon came into the bakery for the first time changed everything. A festering desire found its way into your mind, an itch that wouldn't leave. He was your soul mate, you knew it. He was the sweetest thing you'd ever seen. So pure and untouched.

He made your skin crawl. You needed to be closer to him, to corrupt him in a way that no one would ever come close to you. You needed to be his, mind, body and soul. His smile made you nauseous. How many others had received that same smile?

No. You had to have him in a way no one else could.

You started experimenting. Simple things, really. Your love for him was all consuming, and you're sure in time he'd come to understand how much you worshipped him. He'd be appreciative of all you'd done for him once he found out.

It made it all worth it as you carved into your flesh for the first time. Your teeth clamped down on an old leather belt of yours to stiffle your screams, a piece of fabric tied tight around your thigh to slow the bleeding as you cut chunks of your flesh out.

The pain almost made you pass out, but you wouldn't let your weakness get in the way of showing devotion to Leon. You swallowed your bile as it rose up your throat, blinked past the blurriness of your tears.

You did your best to treat the wounds efficiently after. YouTube can only teach you so much, and your hands wouldn't stop shaking, so you couldn't wrap the bandage as tight as you should have. But that was okay. You couldn't go to the hospital, couldn't risk someone stopping your plan.

You swallowed some painkillers and went to bed, content with the knowledge that tomorrow was Saturday. That meant Leon would be coming. You had something really special for him.

You wake up with a hop in your step the next morning despite the excruciating pain you were in. You down more painkillers and pop the pack in your pocket, although it does little to dull your pain.

You grind the carefully harvested flesh down. You had already made the dough which had expanded nicely. This would have to be your best work, after all. You carefully lay out the necessary ingredients, combining them before placing the filling neatly into the dough.

You gather up the edges of the disc you'd made, folding them over the seasoned flesh and tucking them in to form a nice ball. You smile at yourself, feeling like you deserved a pat on the back. Once the egg wash is on, you place them into the oven and glance at the clock.

Perfect timing.

You smile and set up the rest of the bakery for opening. Once the buns are cooked, you take them out and place them in the back. You greet all the customers as friendly as always despite the burning in your thigh and the obsession making itself known in the forefront of your brain.

The closer it gets to Leon's usual entrance time, the more antsy you get. You can't keep still, shifting your weight between your feet as it becomes increasingly more difficult not to snap at every customer that walks in. They were all wasting your time.

Your eyes flick over to the clock on your wall constantly. The quiet ticking makes your eyes twitch and keeps your nerves on edge. You want to rip the clock from the wall and-

“Hey.” Your head snaps to the door. A smile makes its way to your face as you relax. Finally. You lean on the counter, your gaze trailing Leon's face appreciatively.

“Leon. Hi.” You breathe out, all the tension seeping out of your muscles. He makes all the pain you endured worth it, just to see his smile. “The usual?”

He nods softly, and you get to work packing his order. He likes to treat himself to a slice of cake and a pastry at the end of the week. It's the cutest thing ever to you, and you always like to throw in an extra little snack. On the house, of course.

“Hey, I tried something new today. Saved some for my favourite customer. Want to try it?” The festering in your mind returns tenfold. You didn't know what you'd do if he didn't accept. Your mind was screaming at you, wanting nothing more than to see him eat your flesh. To become one with you.

Please. Your mind supplies, your breathing growing shallow as you wait for his reply. The seconds feel like they stretch into hours, your nails digging into your palms and leaving little crescent shaped marks in the flesh.

“Sure! What did you make?” He asks, sweet as ever. The air you suck in after that satisfies your whole body, like the first breath of air after you'd been drowning. Your lungs stop burning, your mind stops screaming.

“I'm trying out some more savoury stuff. Trying to broaden my horizons, you know?” You say with a chuckle, stepping back to retrieve the tray. “I made some pork buns. Saved them just for you. They're all yours, if you like them.”

He lets out a laugh himself, eyes examining the food in front of him. “You're too good to me. These look amazing.”

Take one. Please. Just one.

“Ah, it's nothing.” You say causally, your eyes locked on his hands as they reach out for one of the buns. Your heart beats faster, feeling like it's about to break free past the cage of your ribs. “You're an officer. Just giving back.”

“Oh, is that what it is?” He says with an amused smile, finally picking up one of them.

Yesyesyesyes. Just a little longer.

It takes every ounce of willpower in you not to make a noise as he takes a bite. It's even harder to keep a neutral expression as he chews it, his eyes widening slightly. He swallows the bite, looks at you and grins. You lean forward, watching with morbid curiosity as his Adam's apple bobs, picturing the chunks of your flesh sliding down his throat.

“Wow! These are, like… really good. You should definitely start selling them.” He compliments, taking another bite. You watch him finish up the bun with increasing interest, your eyes practically sparkling with joy and your pussy throbbing with need.

“That's, um…” Your words come out shaky, so you clear your throat and try again. “Thank you. That means a lot. I'm really glad you liked it.”

“Did you need anything else today? Or is that all?” You ask politely, your hands idly brushing the edge of the counter - desperate for something, anything to ground you as you wait for his response. The anticipation was enough to drive you mad with desire, but you had to stay composed.

If only Leon could understand how much you truly wanted him. How much you needed him to see you, to really see you, not just look at you. What you'd do for him to touch you. Consume you. Become one with you.

“No, no. I think that's it.” He says with a head tilt, not looking unlike a puppy in that moment. You want to keep him in a little room, safe from the cruelty in the world. Maybe a cute little display case you dust off every day.

“Alright, no problem, then.” You say as you start to ring up his order, telling him the price and taking the money. “Let me just wrap these up, and you can be on your way.”

With practised ease, you quickly wrapped the ordered items in paper, making sure the wrapping is secure. Once done, you carefully place them into a brown paper bag, double checking everything was intact. Reaching out, you held it out towards Leon, a kind smile on your face as you tried to ignore the aggressive beating of your heart. Your hand shook slightly, yearning for contact. For just a tiny moment of skin on skin. "Here you go.”

“Thank you so much! I'll see you next week.” He tells you as he reaches for the bag, his fingers brushing yours lightly as he takes it, getting ready to leave the bakery.

"Have a wonderful day." You reply, your voice breaking slightly as you watch him walk away. Your eyes follow his form disappearing down the street until he was out of sight before you let out a ragged breath, collapsing against the counter. Today had been... too close. Too much contact. You needed to calm down.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Your mind wanders for the rest of the day, thinking about how satisfying it would be when you were finally his. You'd get him to accept your gifts with open arms. How could he not love you when he'd realised how much you'd sacrificed for him?

You wanted him to dip his tongue in your wounds, to thank you properly for the pain you'd sustained for him. You'd worship every inch of his body, give everything you'd had to him.

Oh, how good it would feel when he sunk his cock into you for the first time. You'd be perfect for him, open up so easily for him. You'd take every inch without complaint, let him fuck you as often as he wanted.

Maybe he'd sink his teeth directly into your neck when he realised how much he craved your flesh. You'd make him crave another taste. The thought made you shiver, arousal pooling into the gusset of your panties, making the fabric stick to you.

You closed up early to return to your apartment. You find your bed instantly, flopping down and stripping within seconds. You shove two fingers deep into your cunt as you pictured Leon fucking you. The sloppy wet noises fill your room as your moans echo off the empty walls.

Your free hand shifts to the wound on your thigh, and you press down harshly. You scream in pain, nausea hitting you instantly at the agonising pain. It's enough to make you cum, your pussy gushing around your fingers. You lean over the edge of the bed, throwing up onto the hardwood floor. You'd deal with it later.

You curl up into a ball, breathing heavily through tears and mucus as the burning sensation worsens. You can barely breathe through the acrid scent assaulting your senses. It was all worth it. You'd tear every muscle fibre of your body apart to show your reverence to Leon. No one can love him like you can.

You wouldn't be content until he devoured you whole. Not until your souls became intertwined and you were sure you'd plague his thoughts like he had plagued yours. His teeth would sink deep into the flesh of your still beating heart, and only then would he understand the extent to which you adored him.

His innocent appearance meant nothing when he could ruin you so completely with one simple look. One touch. One smile.

He already had.

[wonwooslibrary]

svt as boyfriends ♡ joshua edition

member: joshua x reader genre: established relationship, bullet points word count: 738 summary: joshua's boyfriend things ;) warnings: mentions of food and i think that's it! let me know if i missed anything! author's note: y'all i am almost two whole days late with this oh god it keeps getting worse. i am...very tired haha i've been working a lot to build up some money while i'm not in school so yeah. i lowkey forgot about joshua/taehyung day until i opened twitter and saw people talking abt shua and i was like WAIT THAT IS TODAY anyway moral of the story i'm tired and need a break but here is the joshua fic we've all been waiting for! ily all and enjoy <3

He lowkey gives the vibes of like. The foreign exchange student bf with a relationship with a deadline 

He’s the silly bf!!! 

He’s also one of the members I see the least as a boyfriend so this is going to be interesting to write…

Quality Time 

Mans is a fan of everything fr !!! He absolutely loves spending time with you and your shared group of friends 

Loves doing silly little activities with you like making bracelets and painting 

He might just be the artsy bf we all want 

Joshua loves to go to different places with you like thrift stores, arcades, cafes, literally anything as long as he is with you <3

Loves the feeling of mixing his friend groups - the day you meet his friends aka his brothers he will be imploding with love for everyone 

Is the “i get bored easily” bf so y’all gotta be doing like ten different things at once 

Will totally ask you to dance or just close your eyes and be with him when a slow song comes on at a party / get together / playing music at home 

Words of Affirmation

You totally call him Joshy or Shua and he loves every minute of it bc he thinks it’s cute 

“Darling, would you like to get coffee with me tomorrow morning?” SCREECHING 

Believes the relationship revolves around pet names (ie. baby, sweetie, darling) he's adorable 

Is always proud of you and encouraging!!! 

Likes to leave little notes for you around the house. Maybe by your favorite drink in the fridge that reads, “I got these for you. stay hydrated, love” 

At the beginning of the relationship he was so formal with you, that it took him saying “I love you” for the first time to relax for five seconds LOL 

Physical Touch

Joshua loves handholding ‼️

This man always wants to have some sort of contact with you, whether that be holding hands, linking fingers or rubbing your back

Loves having you sit on his lap or lay your legs across his 

His go-to move when you are in public is linking your pinkies together (how cute :3) 

Leans on you when he laughs because he cannot sit still 

I feel like Joshua would like. move his fingers on your leg in the way of playing piano keys but with guitar if that makes sense? Like where the frets are? Idk

Is also the type to be scared of touching you in front of others until you explicitly tell him that it's okay

Acts of Service 

Loves doing the chores for you

“Hey, baby, I'm gonna fill my water bottle. Do you need me to fill yours?” 

Or even a, “hey i borrowed your car, but i filled the tank before bringing it back” we love a man who can afford to fill a vehicle’s tank at this point in time

Likes to bring you lunch once or twice a week --- he’ll make it himself and pack it in a cute little bag and everything 

Helps you in little ways like folding the laundry or helping you pick out outfits on those days that you struggle to do anything 

Is always there for you when literally anything happens. You need someone to help fix your car? He’s on the phone finding a shop. You can’t reach a high shelf or your back hurts too much to bend down to get something from a low cupboard? He’s right there ready to help

Gift Giving 

I touched on this a tiny bit earlier but !! handmade jewelry omg he would make matching bracelets for y’all or even a necklace or earrings for you if bracelets interfere with your job

Always buys little trinkets that remind him of you or your relationship 

“Hey I found this little glass rose decoration and it reminded me of the time i got you flowers when i asked you out the first time” 

HE WILL ALWAYS HAVE THE CUTE SHY SMILE WHEN HE GIVES YOU SOMETHING TOO as if you’ll ever tell him that you dislike something he got for you 

He would also love if you gave him gifts too like, “hey joshy I got this little container that can help you keep your beads organized” and he’s melt into a puddle of goo onto your living room floor 

Also gets something for you (usually your favorite snack or drink) when you’re especially sad or stressed out - like a super gift instead of his regular daily gifts or something 

Idk just know he’s really sweet and enjoys crafting

[dearhargrove]

Idk if ur requests are open but since it November now could you write a fluffy billy Hargrove x reader where they just get together and to Christmas stuff like watch movies and cuddle up by a fire with some hot chocolate just a cute Christmas fic

Cliché Christmas?

Billy Hargrove x fem!reader

summary Billy came over after you called him asking to, expecting you just wanting to cuddle or something. Now he was in the kitchen making hot chocolate and listening to you rant about Christmas movies.

word count 664

warnings nothing really

a/n thank you for this cute request @onlyreadz !!! I'm a whore for typical cliché Christmas activities (& if I had a boyfriend he'd have to join in on all of them) so I loved writing this. Idek how I hadn't thought of this before

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You smile when you open the door, your boyfriend standing there with a grocery bag in his hand and a confused frown on his forehead.

“Babe-”, he starts and you ignore him, grabbing the bag and pressing a kiss to his cheek. You miss the small smile that interrupts his frowning because you start walking to the kitchen, excited to tell him what you had planned.

He follows after you, leaning against the kitchen counter and watching as you unpack the plastic bag with a giddy smile. You'd called him earlier in the day and told him to get some groceries, he had protested at first and told you to do it yourself but after some pleading and pouting he easily gave in, pretending to be annoyed as you listed the items.

Now with the ingredients for hot chocolate and some usual Christmas snacks, like gingerbread cookies, you stem your hands on your hips and turn to him, a grin on your face.

He raises an expectant eyebrow, “So? Why'd you send me grocery shopping?” He asks. “You should've guessed by now…” you tease and step to where he's standing to throw your arms around his neck. He pretends to be unfazed and keeps his hands on the counter top he was leaning against with his hip. “Alright, I'm gonna be nice and tell you since you obviously can't guess. We're gonna have a movie night. Christmas themed.”

There's silence between the both of you but you see the discreet disbelief on his face as he takes in exactly what your plans for today were. Not getting the enthusiasm you were going for (but knew you wouldn't get) you huff and turn back to get started on two cups of hot chocolate.

“Baby… you should know I'm like the last person to do this shit,” he mumbles in his usual tone and you hear him move before his arms wrap around your waist from behind, his chin resting on your shoulder as he presses kisses along your neck.

“Yeah and I also know you would do everything for me, so please?” You ask and look at him he sighs as if he's in deathly pain and huffs a “fine”.

Cheering a quiet “yes” to yourself you instruct him to stir the milk and other things together while you start presenting the different movie choices you had rented.

You doubt he could be any less interested but by now you also know well enough that he would do pretty much everything for you and to spend some time with you, no matter the activity. So he grumpily helps pick a movie (all the same Christmas cliché movies) while stirring the hot chocolate.

He makes a face at the sweetness the drink would turn out to be but doesn't comment on it, your excited face keeping him from it.

Twenty minutes later and you're both on the couch, your cup a third empty and dangerously balanced on your knee (Billy had his eyes on it the entire time to make sure you wouldn't spill anything) while the movie was playing.

You're sitting squished into his side, legs on the couch and blanket draped over both of your lower bodies. The movie is almost done and you look up at him. The light from the tv is mirroring in his eyes, highlighting them even more. His curls had gotten even fluffier and curlier from the light snowing outside that had gotten caught in them when he'd arrived and you were resisting to ignore the mug in your hand and just play with his hair.

“You're staring pretty hard, love,” he mumbles and turns to you before tearing his eyes off the movie and focusing them on you. You smile bashedly and then snuggle closer against his chest, “thank you for doing this with me. I know you don't really like these typa things.”

He shrugs, “Ah, well. Got a beautiful girl to make up for it, don't I?”

[brostateexam]

Have not been saying much for a while because everything is hard.

I. My BiL has had c diff three times now and after the third time the oncologist decided to take a damn the torpedoes approach because they were wasting weeks that should have been devoted to chemo because he was too sick and too weak to withstand outpatient treatment. I haven't seen him irl since December but my mom says he looks rough and if his immune system is so messed up that he keeps getting c diff idk that I really want to visit him. What if I get him sick?

All of this is background to me, though, because mostly I'm invested in my sister. She wants to divorce him. He needs to be better enough that she won't face ostracization for doing so. I am invested in him getting better enough for that to proceed for her sake.

II. Something about my relationship with my mom has been bothering me and I finally figured out what it is: everything is equally important to her. She doesn't prioritize anything. If I am having a tough time and ask for help she'll say "well I'm busy every day this week but I can come over next week in Thursday for ninety minutes" and then when she comes over I ask her what she was up to, both to make conversation and because I'm nosy, and it's like... she volunteered for a clothing drive at the synagogue. She went grocery shopping. She went to a farmer's market. Thanks for fitting me into your schedule, I guess! Glad to know I am on the same level as farm fresh tomatoes.

III. I have been having a really tough time of it for the last few months. The vacation in Mexico was... Not restful. Shane had a seizure on the plane and I spent the first two days managing logistics related to that (and navigating the extra ~$2k I spent covering his medical costs while on the trip). His back is still fucked up almost two months later and so I get to do extra housework and chores because he can't lift or bend without being in pain.

IV. Resultant to III, I had a really awful period of about a month with an online friend who started being super short and terse with me because I've been around online less. It was really clear he felt like I was ditching him to go hang out with my cool friends or something, instead of the reality of the situation: I'm cleaning litter boxes and doing yard work and changing the sheets on the bed aka #livingthedream. I told him about all the stuff that was going on but it was clear he didn't believe me or resented my absence nevertheless. This came to a head with me basically texting him an essay about why he was being a bad friend. In a turn of good news, he listened, and apologized, and we mended fences. That was nice because I just don't know how much more bad news I can take right now.

V. I've been struggling with work but really it's just. My boss. My coworkers like me. My project sponsors like me. My skip level likes me. My exec likes me. It's just him. We don't have a good relationship and I don't know how to fix it. I don't know that it is fixable. This is a problem because this is the guy I need in my corner to advance my career and I don't know that he'll do that for me. The alternative is leaving my company, which sounds attractive on paper but in practice the job market is so so bad and it's just so discouraging. The idea of a new job sounds incredible. I wish I could do that. Maybe even a career change.

VI. Unfortunately, that's not gonna happen because of financial pressures. NGL, as much as I like my house (and I do -- I love its little windows, I love my pink dining nook and green bedroom, I love the mature fruit trees and pretty backyard full of wildflowers), I wish i had the cash in hand, instead. I feel trapped here, and like I'm making the most of it. That's a shit feeling to have.

VII. I've started regaining weight. Not a lot. Fifteen pounds since October. But it's scaring me. It's making me wonder if this whole surgery thing was pointless because I can't seem to stop myself from wanting to eat myself to death. So I'm trying to beat it back without resorting to "diet culture behaviors" (read: disordered eating) and that's tough.

There could be a separate post for things that are going well perhaps, but this is what's going not so well and it feels like a lot. Sometimes it feels like too much.

[taboo-delusion]

So, I just discovered something interesting.

This is a bit of a long one, so bear with me. It's important. Seriously.

I just woke up a few hours ago. My meds are starting to kick in. I was having a very serious and genuine, deep conversation (in-head) and it was... beautiful. It wasn't happy, but it was beautiful. Not the point.

Point is:

I had not had a single fucking intrusive thought today until someone made a noise in the other room.

I am so fucking PISSED OFF

Why my brain refuses to realize that intrusive thoughts CAUSED the good feeling to go away, I have no fucking idea. I've known that for almost a year now, yet my stupid fucking subconscious refuses to change anything it's doing

Before I snap my fucking android phone in half and yeet somebody's face into neptune, I thought I'd share the discovery!!!!

Basically:

MY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS DID NOT START UNTIL SOMETHING STARTLED ME OUT OF FOCUS

AS I TYPE THIS, I REALIZE THAT INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS -AT LEAST FOR ADHDERS- ARE A SURVIVAL TACTIC.

Elaborating:

When you fall asleep and your heart slows too much, your body does the falling thing to make sure you're still alive.

It's not that intrusive thoughts are *Just* because your brain gets too quiet, It's because your life has never been completely quite before, or -like me- the few times it is quiet, something interrupts. And even if it doesn't piss you off, even if you don't jump like I do, your brain still registers it as not safe.

--

Falling asleep, heart slows a lot-

Body: *Sends adrenaline just to make sure it still actually works.*

Drowning, even mostly unconscious-

Body and brain: *Hold onto that last half-breath even if it feels like you're head is going to explode.*

Going grocery shopping or talking to someone you think is cool-

Brain: *Remembers what it felt like the first time your guardian was indifferent or mean about something that made you happy or calm.*

Things around you actually get quiet-

Brain *Sends a thought you hate just to make sure you're prepared for a sudden problem.*

TDLR 1: Your brain isn't mean on purpose, It's just paranoid and still has a will to live.

Listen. I know I'm just some random dude from a weird blog. But I'm trying to translate, to assist. Maybe somebody else needs this realization as much as I do. I apologize for the yelling earlier. I'm still just as upset, but only at my dumbass subconscious. Now some time has passed, and I have regained self-control.

(I also apologize for the above paragraph, my brain nags for me to do this, but I can't remember why. So:)

I am no psychologist. Here are my qualifications (why you should listen to me):

As my friends call it- "Disturbingly self-aware at all times."

Paranoid Schizophrenic with actual (unrelated) OCD, with years of experience dealing with it- more healthily in recent years.

Philosophy and deep thinking is simply my default. I use metaphors, but everything in this post is entirely literal, ...except the angry threat. (*begrudgingly accepts disappointment*)

I am a fiction writer. I don't know about healing people/first aid, but I know a LOT about how anatomy works, with many deep-dives on the psychology/evolution side.

People irl generally consider me a genius? Idk how to gauge that, IQ tests are irrelevant with this type of... smart?. I've been compared to both Da Vinci and Einstein. So, ...actually that's pretty fuckin' cool- (I AM NOT TRYING TO BRAG! I APOLOGIZE IF IT COMES OFF THAT WAY! I've never put it all down like this, and I'm just surprised and questioning my reputation.)

(Also, I love playing detective, so naturally I call myself Batman XD.)

Autistic; I experience the world, and every situation, from a view without any context.

ADHD: My brain automatically -As a guardian I hate describes- "Can watch three different movies at the same time, all in fast forward, and can keep up with all of them." ... Well, yes, but technically no. Idk if other ADHD people do this, but my brain "connects the dots" so quickly, I end up laughing at jokes I've never heard before the 'punchline', because I've already figured out what you're going to say next.

Now combine all that. I am kicking depression's ass and now I want to help you do the same.

I have only mentioned the relevant things. Please keep in mind that ALL of these have both advantages and disasters. Thank you for your patience and understanding. I am running on four hours of sleep. For the love of whatever, I hope this actually helps someone other than me.

Qualifications are noted because: This is all stuff (and stuff like this) that I am just always casually aware of.

TLDR2: Even if I wasn't trying to help people feel better, Apparently I was born with a nat 20 perception/insight check, so please don't argue that I truly understand what I'm talking about here.

[thebearme]

Here's my Parappa hcs and reimagine ideas for Matt & Paula

Sunny

Sunny is a cosmo flower like her mother.

Because of her mother's recent death, her dad Potter became UBER PROTECTIVE. The classic "ur the last thing of her, I have to protect you" you know.

Unrelated thing but idk when I'll ever talk about this guy but Potter HAS to be half object head, the only plant thing apart of him is his hair. idk maybe yall can figure it out... also i think he gave birth to sunny and no i will not elaborate.

Sunny is asexual and intersex but what do you expect, she's a plant.

She got all her arm strength from her dad. All those home military drills really helped.

She's superb at skateboarding but tends to not do so beings she doesn't want to get her dress ruin. But give her time to change, and she'll start shreddin.

Sunny has Bipolar disorder type 1.

Sunny grew up a lil sheltered. She lives in the middle of the woods and only goes into town for groceries! She started going out more and more when she started school for the first time, especially after she got some friends.

I'm taking this headcanon from the fic life in parappa town and expanding it but Sunny is in this plant belief system where you stay loyal to Mothernature and when you die you'll become a part of her. She doesn't eat meat, she gives back to nature and be kind to all Mothernature's creatures.

Sunny take cares and own her mother's "small" farm. She used to give her produce to the community for free, but because of the government finding out about that, she had to put it on pause. She either sells it for big money, or the government will take her land and profit from it them self.

Parappa

Parappa is his rap name. His name is Pa and his nickname is Pappy.

He's a bagel and hound mix, but has more bagel dog tendencies.

He's hat was bought by his mom before she left.

Parappa's mom divorce her husband after one too many financial crises, just when Parappa was just graduated high school. (explaining the past tense in PtR2) Leaving Pappy with Papa Rappa while she takes care of Pinto herself.

His Mama always encouraged Parappa to reach his dreams as long it wasn't expensive. So after everything, Parappa was more determined than ever to believe in himself and never give up.

Parappa would do anything for Sunny, he would kill Joe Chin even!

After a while working at the videogame shop, Parappa will later work for Master Onion cuz at least he pays him.

Parappa has the n card cuz he's cool like that. im tired of hearing 'who gave him the n card?' well maybe he just born with it. stop judging my dog bro

Parappa's rapping career just recently started. He began rapping his poems by the end of high school, luckily for him his best friend has connections to get him up there.

He grew up with classic 80s-90s rap. Pappy is an oldhead.

Pappy is anti-drug, anti-gun rights and a BIG ACAB. He is a huge believer that 'only community can fix the issues and not some cops that with guns trying to make the problem worst' but if you listen to parappa's album you've probly already saw this coming.

He still an up-and-coming artist, eventho he's known around the town and performed with Club fun's mc twice... he just started selling his first album.

Pappy is pretty smart and could have got into a science major like his dad but choose music instead. His father wept.

Parappa guessed that Katy is lesbian years before she started dating Lammy because the god awful dates she would go on.

Parappa loves frogs, they're his favorite animal.

He has a concentration issue, dude can't stay on track for the life of him. And no he doesn't know he has ADHD.

His ass has maladaptive daydreamer.

Boxy boy was made for Parappa by his dad because of tendency to daydream everywhere and anywhere, he gives him sense.

Pappy has a stuttering and lisp problem, but it adds an interesting element to his raps.

Pappy can NOT keep a secret. He WILL tell Sunny!

He got orange hair

Pj

Pj or further known as King Berri is still the same as always, maybe a lil more tired.

He uses king as a stage name so he can have a bit of his fantasy come true.

Eats weed brownie everyday.

Pj now wears a hooding for pure comforter, it like wearing sleepingbag at all times.

Pj seems very comfortable with his life but he really just compliant.

Pj is estranged from his family. They have not talked in years and he doesn't plan on changing that.

Just like everyone, Pj doesn't hate being a dj but just hate working. All the fun he had for his craft was gone a long time ago. But if he still gets paid by his boss MC Mushi and gets his 'stuff' then his fine.

Pj is brutally honest to Parappa like always, someone got to be the straight man in the friendship.

He's the most likely in the friendship to get the other in trouble.

Pj lives in the college housing, particularly in the basement. He just likes it down there. But funny enough, it turns out the house doesn't stay as empty as what the staff said it would be.

He's roommate is Matt. He's not that bad when you get to know him, He's just a bit snobby, know-it-all and WAY to competitive... but chill? Ok he's a Chin but hey, atleast he's better then Joe.

Him and Matt met one rainy day when the power went out and Matt got jumpedscared but the bear in the basement.

Katy

Chatty Katty was her nickname back in high school and even in the college campus right now. She gets this nickname not because she talks bad of anyone, honestly the opposite. She talks up everyone she knows! Right after talking up herself.

Katy was a church goer growing up, so no duh she'll know everyone in the community.

Her and Pappy were in the church choir growing up, that's how they met. Later she got introduced Pj in school, the three of them started hanging out after that.

Parappa gives the biggest little brother vibe to Katy.

Katy has the vocabulary of a old lady and it's because of the older lady she works with at the diner.

Katy is that friend that went on so many bad dates, tells you about and it makes you think HOW the hell are you still dating men??

She met Lammy after running into each other from the college lecture hall. And she immediately invited her to the milkcan band practice.

Lammy and Katy were a will-they-won't-they thing then they met. Lammy likes Katy but doesn't think she would like her, Katy likes Lammy but doesn't think she's likes women so she continues going for men.

Katy has been going to church less as she goes into college, jobs, dates, band practice and battling the gay thoughts. oooo scary

Katy and Sunny met in middle school, Katy never liked the idea of girls tearing each other down. And Katy was right, Sunny was sweet as she thought.

Katy introduced Sunny to the boys and everyone went nicely, they shared lunch together.

Paula

Paula is base off a kit fox, she just put makeup over her facial mark.

She's got abit of rewrite; She's from a new money household but unlike her parents that fell into complete greed, She's still her old self.

Paula is a tomboy at heart and her true love is basketball and women.

She's a business major oooo. AND the captain of the basketball team.

She still beefing with Katy but you know- it's a friendly rivalry. Or at least it becomes one.

Paula has a little crush on Sunny after meeting her but she's very respectful about it and very real told anyone about it... besides Katy... who told Pj... who told Matt... who told Parappa... who told Sunny. But otherwise Paula got turned down rather nicely and took it well.

Matt

Matt and Joe are doodles, partially a cockapoo.

He is the younger brother of Joe Chin and makes it his LIFE GOAL to be Parappa's rival.

He bascally bradley for the extremely goofy movie.

Matt has a big gay crush on Pappy but he refuse to admit!

Joe Chin got to inherit the family business without even doing anything and Matt is really mad about that. So he's in school for a business degree and in the frat club for extra bonus points. All to impress his parents and get the family business instead.

Ok not related to Matt hcs but just one thing- I think Joe Chin is a womanizer manipulative creep! That's why Matt is a funny villain while Joe is a flatout villain villain.

There more hcs in the bottom but I didn't feel comfortable putting up with more of the light hearted stuff so...

darker things below, read with caution.

[saruman-the-silly]

Birthday headcanons with the ghouls and ghoulettes

something sweet because it's my birthday today yay! :D so I felt like writing headcanons on how the ghouls and ghoulettes would spend your birthday with you, their awesome partner :)

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Sodo

He might seem a little bit indifferent at first, but don't think he forgot, noo. He would act all "Nope, didn't even think about it," etc, but at the end of the day there would be a note telling you to come to your secret spot in the gardens.

When you get to the gardens, he would absolutely have a little picnic set up for you two with some fancy wine he probably stole from someone.

He also will get you your favourite snacks as a gift. And not just like 1 bag of your favourite candy, he will get like 6 bags of everything. Your snack drawer will be set for life.

I also see him gifting you a plushie, maybe a matching one to his Baphomet plushie.

Swiss

Listen, I can definitely see Swiss throwing you a surprise party.

The days following up to your birthday he'd be all "Nope. Nu-uh, what makes you think I have something planned?" He'd try to be secretive (he can't) so he hires the ghoulettes to keep you distracted for a few days.

And when I say he knows how to party, he knows how to party. He would and will go out of his way to make it the biggest and most outlandish surprise birthday party ever.

There may or may not be a serenade coming your way sometime in the evening, when Swiss has had one too many to drink.

Your gift from him would be a guitar pick necklace. Don't ask me why but I think it fits.

Mountain

I'd like to think Mountain prefers to keep it very intimate, and very thoughtful.

You go out to your favourite restaurant for dinner, and after that you go home and have a self-care night.

He will give your sore shoulders the greatest massage ever, I just know it. He will also have bought you your favourite scented candles, probably paired with some comfy socks.

Listening to some of your favourite music while doing skincare with him and just relaxing. You also just talk, because with Mountain, you never run out of interesting conversation topics.

Phantom

He will try to be all serious and fancy with a classic candle-lit dinner and all the cheesy romance movie stuff, because the poor thing doesn't know what you would like.

You of course appreciate it, but end up rolling on the floor with laughter when he tries to quote Mr. Darcy or something else romantic.

You just tell him that he doesn't need to do all of this, being here is enough. You end up crashing someone else's party, and probably get kicked out by wiping the floor with everyone- due to your phenomenal karaoke performance.

After that, you end up getting milkshakes from the nearest McDonald's drive-thru.

Rain

Idk why but I could imagine you going to an amusement park with Rain.

He would absolutely win you the biggest plushie available, after some tries with mild cursing and kicking stuff.

The day would be spent just goofing around, going on fun rides and enjoying the cheerful atmosphere.

Getting him to go on the ferris wheel was a bit of an task, but he got on with you, despite of his mild fear of heights.

When you are at the top just admiring the view, he would give you his present, a beautiful necklace with his initial on it.

Cumulus

She will have your birthday marked on every one of her cute calendars. And she has like 20 of them.

I feel like Cumulus would bring you breakfast in bed. If not, after you wake up there would be a gorgeous breakfast set up in the kitchen, like straight-from-your-Pinterest-board type of breakfast.

After that you would go shopping and she would buy you something you have needed for a long time, but also just everything you try on. When you try to protest, she just smiles cutely and says "It's your birthday, of course I'm buying this for you!" You give up after that.

When you go drink some fancy overpriced latte at a café, you would hear the latest gossip around the Ministry, because who wouldn't want to hear? I would be taking notes because she knows what's up.

Cirrus

Cirrus would keep it cool, handing you a well-wrapped present sometime in the afternoon. She got you the vinyl you were always talking about buying but never did!

After that, you would sneak off to the kitchens and steal some of the fancy rosé wine with some snacks.

She had somehow convinced Copia to let her use his room, since it had the biggest TV, so you barricaded yourself in there and had a movie marathon.

Movie marathon will include something trashy that you can laugh at, (like Twilight), something that will make you cry, and some of your all time favourites.

Aurora

She would absolutely barge into you room in the morning, playing Never Gonna Give You Up. Do not ask me how I came to this conclusion but she totally would.

Aurora will also have made a cake for you. It's one of those very ugly, slightly terrifying, very misshapen hedgehog cakes with the funky teeth. It's the best cake you have ever received on your birthday.

After eating the hedgehog cake she will drag you to a laser tag game with the other ghouls she forced into it. (Not that they needed to be convinced, it's a bit scary how fast some of them got into it)

The evening after will be spent painting your nails, watching a good show and just enjoying each others presence.

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Hope ya'll enjoy, I had fun writing this <3