#and idk i got a little emotional seeing it
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my head's a bit clearer, some thoughts about act 3
-my biggest gripe is episode 7- cool idea, love the concept of peaking into a different universe and seeing what our characters couldve been under different circumstances, but a WHOLE episode. when you only had 9 episode in this season, that already feel like theyre moving at a neck's pace. for a universe that ultimately doesn't matter to the main universe where the story takes place. the fact it had timebomb made it feel extremely fan service-y.
-no emotional resolution to a lot of characters. viktor and jayce are the only ones i can think of that felt like they got the screen time and care for an actual emotional closure.
-isha wasn't even mentioned in this act. in general she was already a martyr for jinx's character development but guys can you make it less obvious.
-it started in act 2, hence why i was so jaded on it, but it continues here: just where the fuck the political drama between 2 cities go? the conflict between zaun and piltover took a back seat since episode 4 and never came back. the resolution to it isn't bad per say, but when u got so little focus on it in the finale it just feels rushed.
-i loved the cait and jinx scene. but like, that was the resolution to it??? after act 1 thinking about it disappoints me. im not against a conversation being the climax to a story, but that is, and im not joking, the ONLY conversation these 2 have in the show one on one. in general the jinx\cait\vi arc ends with 1 conversation per duo (well caitvi got one fight and one very steamy sex scene but u won't catch me complaining). and after act 1, idk i think i wanted just a little bit more. im biased though- the jinx\vi\caitlyn dynamic is my favorite part about arcane. the teasers for s2 always had them front and center so i assumed it'll play a bigger part in the story???
-i felt like what the show was at its core, which is the conflict between the sisters and the cities, was completely sidelined this season. in general i can't really tell what the main theme of the show is anymore. but yeah look at the resolution to the jinx and vi story.did it feel like it had the emotional impact u expected? cause i felt like it was underwhelming.
-sevika?? didnt speak since episode 4???? huhh???
-maddie was pointless. why was she there?? i don't understand the point of that character. i dont understand her motives. she ended up not mattering at all to caitvi's story. the only thing i got from her inclusion is "caitlyn fucks" but is it that THAT important??? of a character trait??? to add to caitlyn of all people?? in THIS season??? this belongs in the realm of fanfiction.
-a lot here felt like fanfiction actually. every silco inclusion (except of him in the cell with jinx), the whole "nobody dies au" they threw in the middle, even the caitvi sex scene (IM NOT COMPLAINING THO). the caitvi scene at the end was dialog out of fanfiction, wtf was that.
-why did caitlyn lose her eye? im not like against the idea on a base level but losing an eye is very symbolic, and im not sure what its supposed to represent here. caitlyn is an observant person, its a big character trait for her. so youre basically saying she sees less now? that she's more laser focused? i sure hope not. wasnt her whole arc with giving up of revenge about seeing the "bigger picture"? her sacrifice didn't feel in character, because caitlyn is not really a "fight to the death" type of character like ambessa is. if she made that sacrifice for something like love, or for the betterment of other people, that would be more in line. idk, you couldve made me on board with it but im just very meh on it. also caitlyn only really emotes through her eyes, it sucks that we get even less of it now?? though i guess it doesnt matter at this point.
-what was the point of the enforcer that looked like vander?
-ambessa was so wasted in these last 2 acts its crazy. where's the "you have to be the fox and the wolf" mindset from her? she felt like she was wolfing only with no wit anymore by the 3rd act.
-mel????????????? it was. uhhh. maybe you shouldve saved it for another series, riot. but in this show, waste of time. the fight she had with caitlyn against ambessa was cool tho.
-i sound like im a hater but u have to understand. s1 of arcane was a political drama and a character study show. seeing all this discarded for magic and time travel shenanigans on like 4 different fronts was so jarring it took me out of the show multiple times.
-cant believe im saying that, but i wish they'd try to stick closer to the characters' current state in the source material (the cursed game). someof it felt out of left field and done for shock value, which isn't why we love the story or these characters to begin with.
good stuff:
-caitvi sex lmao ill take it babyyyyy
-jayce and viktor's scenes at the end were powerful.
-as usual, the visuals were phenomenal. the animation is gorgeous. fortiche u made this show what it is and youre still its saving grace.
-thank god they dropped the warwick\vander plot
-i liked the implication of the conclusion to jinx's story, even if it felt a little inconsistent with the character.
-the ending to jinx\vi\caitlyn was poetic and i did love it, even if it was rushed and didn't really hit the emotional highs i wanted it to.
#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2 spoilers#that was a ride#this wont top the original but u can always just watch the first 4 acts and then skip to the caitvi sex#which is what ill be doing probably revisiting this show#ill give this a rewatch and probably wont be so harsh on it after but those are my first impressions
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i was one of the people who saw the early leaks post and i remember trying not to read too much of it but i had a moment of being like wow this cant be real but also it definitely could be. i remember reading about the damn caitvi sex scene and i thought to myself thats so ass why would they do it in a prison and then i realized the writers probably thought it was some meaningful parallel or something about vi being able to transform being imprisoned with something good
then the act dropped and i saw the damn parallels with cait finding her in the cell and i was like ok yeah. they basically had that as an idea. amanda overton was talking about it in a watch party and said they love their parallels and it was meant to symbolize vi addressing her trauma and im like. i see what they were going for and i get it I GUESS narratively but i really feel like this is such monkeys paw shit like we got this scene at what cost. and like the scene ITSELF was very good and sweet and lovely but like could it not have happened ANYWHERE ELSE?
i feel like the biggest problem with arcane s2 was that the creators rlly wanted to push the bar with animation storytelling. amanda talked about this too and like i feel like it kind of highlights the problem. where bc this show is so amazing graphically the animators wanna highlight that with as much action as possible instead of focusing on smaller scenes and more intimate quiet moments. i watched arcane s1 all at once after it came out and there were def parts that felt a little rushed in certain acts but it was nothing like s2. it just feels like they had all these story beats they wanted to hit but didnt give it the time it deserved and it sucks bc they said they always meant it to be 2 seasons so like why does it feel like this. they wrote them back to back around the same time what happened between s1 and s2. i just feel like the caitvi sex scene is a microcosm of the larger problem. they had these emotional beats and story moments that in isolation are really powerful but its almost like we didnt get a proper A to B transition. its like we skipped several steps for sooo many story beats.
such complex characters with real ass lives causing real ass problems. cait's privilege being an issue, how gratifying that could be to have explored. viktor's experience being explored more in depth. just so much more about zaun. like all of it was there in tiny slivers but it was never given the depth to GROW or properly BREATHE bc five million action scenes and plot points had to be squeezed in.
ultimately i love arcane overall. i think it has broken boundaries and done some amazing things. but its blemishes are really... painful at the same time. and knowing how the writers did such a good job in s1 makes me just like. cmon guys. you had it. YOU HAD IT
anyways sorry for blowing up your ask with so much rambling i just... idk. what are your thoughts on this stuff do you agree with my assessment or do you think the culprit is something else
No prob, welcome to the symposium~ Yeah, I totally get what the writers were going for with Vi. Which is why I am so shocked they thought it was a good idea. Like, okay, she is addressing her trauma in the sex scene... But why should her trauma get addressed by being locked in a jail cell by her sister, who just spent days being wrongfully imprisoned in there by the girl she's about to have sex with, and who then told her she was gonna off herself. If anything, the thing I was feeling was pain because it happened again, a Zaunite was thrown in jail by the Enforcers after she helped and saved them without any rights, and she was reminded she was less than them and her life is worth nothing... Mmmmm, the perfect memory to overwrite prison abuse!
I too felt s1 had some strange pacing choices, Vi and Jayce teamup comes to mind first, and that was, surprise surprise, a fight scene. But those were pretty minor, and still left time for other scenes to develop properly. It only becomes a real problem when it happens scene after scene, character after character, until no one is acting in character and you constantly feel like you have skipped a scene or two. I too remmeber them saying they wrote the seasons back to back, but. Dare I say it. I think s2 was so majorly rewritten by the time it went to recording that only the bare bones remained. In fact, that might be why we feel this way - maybe they DID have a frame they wanted to follow, but the rewrites warped and twisted the characters so intensely they ended up making no sense in the context of that frame. That's right, I'm talking about the way they decided to more closely follow and collaborate with LoL in s2. Jayce's final speech to Viktor only makes sense for game Viktor, and goes completely against s1 Viktor. Vi deciding police brutality doesn't really matter all that much makes sense for game Vi, and foes completely against s1 Vi. Jinx giving up on ever being loved or accepted by others makes sense for game Jinx, and goes completely against s1 Jinx.
So yeah my thesis is: Arcane knows it looks good, and sometimes it prevents it from being well written. It also decided to throw in its lot with LoL in s2, and no amount of good intentions from the writers could have saved it from crashing and burning.
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So, this week's episode...
[spoilers below cut]
WOW, a Mario Reacts! It's been a long time, hasn't it? Hell yeah, I can work with this!
(no bc seriously, I just finished watching ep. 7 of Arcane before this and I need an emotional break, yeah I know the rest of Act 3 is gonna kill me)
(the following is my live reaction:)
oh hey, Mario! Wassup?
jigsaw, is that you?
oh nvm, hello Swag! nice to see you again since last episode
I'm about to commit a crime [*strikes a pose then walks away*]
I'm willing to work in a government office just so I can come up with an acronym like, gee idk, Y.U.R.I. or something (I should've been a worker in NASA)
NO STOP STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING?!
At this point, Mario, I would just give up
[*clears throat*] mejor me muero, ni modo que sigo con estos porquerías. bueno como dice Mario, bye bye [*drinks some water*] alright I'm back
TADC? ah, just a normal Saturday
no thoughts, head empty
honestly, mood
well, in his own way, yeah
[*echoes announcer voice*] VR, the new era of entertainment
...mr puzzles? nah jk jk
oh, Four's theory may not be wrong here (omg it's jesus)
still can't believe christianity is canon in the SMG4 universe
oh, so I was right! [*jigsaw voice*] "I wanna play a game."
That's actually kinda sweet that he immediately chooses his brother
OH SHIT OOOOH that's gotta hurt
NO MARIO, THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME
[*other me pops in*] emo girlfriend, omg it's smg3
no, we're NOT gonna look too much into this, shut up other me
PPFFFTTT that caught me so off guard
say it with me now: YOU CAN'T CONTROL MARIO [*applause*]
I mean, we've been through simulations before, we can take this one too
unironically, I wouldn't mind a 10-hour video of just Mario (and/or the rest of the Crew) just dancing :)
it doesn't even need to have music, I can just put my playlist on and I would totally join in
ooooh, you want to scan that QR code so badly
but also, how did they get a screenshot of my computer?
Mario 🤝 Mario Buddy from the last episode → destroying PCs for the LOLs
AKLDHLKSAFB;KL just the way Mario goes for a fighting stance just so he could run away will never not be funny to me
LET ME IN LET ME INNNNNNNNN
10 hours, welp I got my wish lmao
Mario morphing his face... hmmmm..... [*flashback noises*]
[SMG4: MAR10 Day]
....
don't think about it don't think about it don't think about it
KIRBO NOOOOOOOOO
NO NO NO SWAG NO
same vibes
meme factory? youtube arc? is that you? /j
(yeah I know that the Team uses the same assets ik)
LET'S DO THISSSS oh welp time to vibe
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
what would that be, Swag? Try not to Laugh challenge? I might win tbh
LET'S GO GAMBLING
laughing because of early victory call? very in character for Swag
oooh that's some good animation (y'know, as always)
HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE
am i thinking too much into this or is this the same military base from last episode?
Alright, my little headcanon: the events of this episode and the last one took place on the exact same day
that's just for me specifically
oh hey, more TADC ref
Also, nice PINGAS STUCK IN A DOOR ref
man Mario can't catch a break dude
Congrats to CMorseu for your art being featured at the end credits 🎉
.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.
Such a good episode! Not plot-heavy, just a silly episode. I'll gladly take it as my late birthday present. And it's great to have Swag back, kinda was half-expecting Chris to just pop out.
I've said this once and I'll say it again: I wouldn't mind if the rest of the year is just filled with goofy episodes. After all, we just came from WOTFI and we do need a bit of a break so the Team could work on the next arc. (From the looks of things, we might get goop!4 *cough cough*)
Loved the bits of animation and Mario's expressions as always.
Now, I know there is some talk about the SMG4 Crew/Mario Does Things being on hiatus and merging with the Saturday videos. If you can even call it that. Personally, I don't mind it. I completely understand if doing 2 episodes per week is a lot for the Team to handle, though I do wish they would give an explanation for it. I think the best solution would be for the Team making an announcement of the change, the reasons behind it, and how it may be different from the regular Saturday episodes. Also make it clear that "hey, the title says this so it doesn't impact the main storyline".
Anyway, it has been overall a pretty funny episode and I quite enjoyed it! Now, if you excuse me, I'm gonna cry my eyes out watching the rest of Arcane Act 3 and bring that angst to the next episode concept :)
OH THE MISERY EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE MY ENEMYYYYYYY
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how are you doing after the last 3 episodes of arcane
full spoilers for act 3 , long rant ahead ( sorry ദ്ദി (ᵒ̴̶̷᷄﹏ᵒ̴̶̷᷅) ). apologies if this is incoherent i ended up pulling an all nighter to watch act 3 and have had a busy few couple of days so i am a very gleeby little maddie atm..
i'm mostly upset and angry about it because it was just handled so poorly... like it was genuinely so ( ._. )"" i've talked about it elsewhere but i don't even really know what to say. i'm so upset about the way they sidelined the important character arcs and actual plot for timebomb sillies and a goofy over the top mel arc that was extremely rushed and didn't even bring the closure it was meant to about her dad and all of that. also 90% of the act being jayvik and it completely ignoring isha , sevika , and for the most part jinx , caitlyn , and vi... it's so disheartening i'm honestly not taking it well i feel just sort of upset and overall down. arcane has meant so much to me and it feels like all of the characters who i love so much just didn't even matter like i went on this journey with them all for nothing. there's so much more i could and would like to say but this is already getting long and i just feel an overwhelming amount of negative emotions at the moment. i'm going to continue making content for arcane ( mostly focusing around maddie , maddiecait , and maddiecaitvi because autism goes crazy ) but i might need a day or two to gather my thoughts and process everything. this act was super disappointing in every way. like i love mel and for the whole rest of the season was curious about her arc but it went from 0 to 100 so fast and was so campy it just didn't even feel like arcane. i think it's so insane that sevika didn't even speak once and that isha wasn't even mentioned like i just can't get past that. also they rushed caitvi's relationship so badly like we needed to see caitlyn's arc fully wrapped up with her coming to terms with all that she'd done , taking responsibility and apologizing to vi. we didn't get any of that though which is baffling to me..... also the implication of vi being a cop , sevika being on the council , vi just brushing over jinx's death ? it's so out of character. also with maddie , i have mixed feelings. i was hoping she'd do something big and i think i can definitely get behind the idea of her being a spy but it just doesn't line up with what was shown onscreen ? it felt like a major copout idk. i have many maddiecait and maddiecaitvi thoughts that i'll post on my main having to do with it but i'm just REALLY wishing we got to see more of maddie behind the scenes and that she got to be more fleshed out onscreen and not just through implications. like i like timebomb they're cute and all but episode 7 just felt so pointless and wasted like we could've used that time to actually be able to flesh out maddie or focus more on caitlyn / caitvi or on jinx and isha. i just don't see the point at all of that episode and i can't get past them just pretending isha never existed in favor of having a cute little timebomb au episode. : \
#ೀ maddie's .ೃ࿔*:・#ೀ askies .ೃ࿔*:・#arcane#arcane act 3#arcane spoilers#arcane s2#arcane season 2#caitvi#maddie arcane#maddie nolen#maddiecait#maddiecaitvi#isha arcane#sevika#vi#jinx#caitlyn kiramman
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Writing Tip #2
This one may seem a little redundant, forgive me, but it's necessary. I mean this with all the love in my heart, please fall in love with the enter bar. Part of writing is understanding structure and it goes for fics too. No one, and I mean no one, wants to read a block of text.
You start a new paragraph whenever you have a new thought, someone new is talking, or there's a change in scene or location. Heavy on the when someone new is talking. At no point should you have two pieces of dialogue in the same paragraph. I'll use my fic "Sunshine" to illustrate my point.
Don't
He tugged on one of your braids. “You too good to be hanging around here,” he said. Oh god, his voice was fine too. No, he was dangerous. But you couldn’t make your legs move away. “What you talkin’ about?” You managed to ask. “You one of them good girls that always got her nose in a book,” he said. He sipped whatever was in his cup. From the faint smell of it, it was probably Henny. It always was.
Even with dialogue tags (he said, she said), it's clunky and will confuse the reader.
Do
He tugged on one of your braids. “You too good to be hanging around here,” he said. Oh god, his voice was fine too. No, he was dangerous. But you couldn’t make your legs move away. “What you talkin’ about?” You managed to ask. “You one of them good girls that always got her nose in a book,” he said. He sipped whatever was in his cup. From the faint smell of it, it was probably Henny. It always was.
By using a new paragraph, it's softer on the eyes, visually clues you in that someone else is speaking, and allows you to expand on a character's thoughts before you write the response.
You can have a single word paragraph too. If you want to highlight a particular emotion or echo something you just wrote, that works too.
Speaking of dialogue tags, fall in love with using those as well. It's clear to YOU who's speaking, but for a reader, this is the first time they're reading it.
“Not so good, are you?” “Oh shit.” “You tappin’ out?”
Which one is speaking? Which lines belong to Tyrone and which lines belong to the reader? It's hard to tell which. So consider:
“Not so good, are you?” He asked. He pulled you closer. His warm hands circled your waist and pulled you flush against him, you could feel his thick cock against your thigh. “Oh shit,” you gasped. He chuckled. “You tappin’ out?” He asked.
Not only does dialogue tags help orient the reader, using alternatives to "said" help highlight what's going on the characters' minds without needing an extra paragraph. I could have said "said" instead of "gasped" but a stronger verb was needed. "Gasped" gets the point across that Reader is turned on and surprised at finding Tyrone so big and ready.
You don't have to go crazy with dialogue tags. Using "said" is perfectly fine and no, it is not overused. It fades to the background as you're reading. But knowing when to use something different is an important skill you have to develop as a writer. Variety is the spice of life.
Sometimes it's not your writing that needs to improve, it's your structure and formatting. I promise, start breaking up your paragraphs and you'll notice a huge difference in flow.
Idk, I'm not an expert. But try it and see if it works 😗 Find more tips and posts about my process: Behind the Megadome.
#Behind the Megadome#writing tips#writeblr#Black writers#Black fanfic writers#writing resources#on writing#writing
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Some of the artworks featured in the exhibition Les Choses, at The Louvre (click for full picture)
Cartels de l’exposition pour ces œuvres :
- Pain et Figues, 50-79 de notre ère, peinture murale, Herculanum
Dans ce tableautin très simple, deux figues brunes et un pain doré renvoient à une grande frugalité, que la douceur des fruits, vantée par Pline l’Ancien dans son Histoire naturelle (an 77), tempère à peine. Et pour cause : il n’est pas question ici de susciter l’envie, la gourmandise, mais d’exprimer le contraire, un idéal de diète “philosophique”, dont Socrate (vers 470/469-399 avant notre ère), le mangeur de pain, est le parangon, lui qui critiquait les plus gloutons de ses contemporains. Dans leur dénuement, ces petites choses du quotidien ont leur morale sévère qui en impose.
- Schädel [Crâne], 1983, Gerhard Richter
Au début des années 1980, Richter est fasciné par le motif du crâne, qui lui offre de mettre à distance ses effets, de les canaliser, en inscrivant sa peinture dans la tradition. Il prend alors le contre-pied de la peinture néo-expressionniste allemande, spontanée, subjective, violente. Rien de tel ici, où le memento mori tend même à s’effacer derrière les moyens de la peinture : la géométrie impeccable, la rigueur minimale, le quasi-monochrome. Seule la lumière dégage la coquille renversée du crâne, et rappelle in fine le sens d’une vanité appliquée aux illusions et aux certitudes du siècle.
- Coin de table, 1934, Pierre Bonnard
Sur cette toile presque carrée, rien n’est facilement identifiable. Bonnard ne s’intéresse pas à la représentation mimétique des choses, mais à la beauté simple du quotidien et à ses sensations. Ce Coin de table est un prétexte à expérimenter les moyens de les exprimer : format et cadrage, vue en surplomb des objets, étirés, aplatis, ployés, fusionnés, jeu de la lumière qui émane de la matière picturale elle-même, travaillée d’une touche virtuose. Après Chardin, Bonnard fait encore de la nature morte le lien où se manifeste une magie énigmatique.
- Pipes et vases à boire, dit La Tabagie, vers 1737, Jean Siméon Chardin
Chardin a représenté une série d’objets qu’il possédait, de petites choses sans qualité extraordinaire, en particulier une tabagie de palissandre. La grande simplicité, l’équilibre de l’ensemble sont remarquables. Tout s’assemble, tout s’épanouit harmonieusement pour suggérer le charme de la vie telle qu’elle est, dans ses choses mêmes. Diderot prêtait une magie singulière à la peinture de Chardin. Cette Tabagie la contient, où agit le mystère de la présence des choses, comme des personnages de l’histoire, animées d’un mouvement et d’une lumière intérieure.
- Intérieur d’un magasin de porcelaines et d’objets chinois, 1680-1700, peintre anonyme néerlandais
Un anonyme néerlandais, fasciné comme nombre de ses contemporains par les objets de luxe asiatiques, s’est inspiré des représentations de cabinets de collectionneurs pour inventer une boutique imaginaire qui rassemble avec fantaisie et jubilation tous ces trésors tant convoités. L’artiste a peint cette chinoiserie sur une feuille d’éventail, lui-même un article de luxe décrivant les merveilles d’Orient et d’Extrême-Orient. Une fois mise au carré pour être encadrée, cette feuille est devenue à son tour un objet d’art européen ouvrant sur le vaste monde.
- Natura Morta, 1944, Giorgio Morandi
Cette nature morte est exemplaire de l’art de Morandi à traduire le mystère et la poésie des choses. L’artiste a élu des objets simples, ordinaires, qu’il collectionnait, et il les a mis en scène selon un dispositif réglé, avec une grande économie de moyens. Disposés en frise sur un fond neutre, de formes et de hauteurs différentes, peints dans des harmonies sourdes de blanc nacré rompues par la boule de hochet jaune et bleue, ils sont comme figés dans le temps, silencieux et secrets. Morandi les a ainsi rendus présents au monde d’une manière qui excède leur fonction, intrigants, voir obsédants.
- La Chambre de Van Gogh à Arles, 1889, Vincent Van Gogh
Pour Van Gogh, sa chambre de sa maison jaune, à Arles, devait être très simple et “vide”, comme un intérieur japonais. Il détestait les choses de la bourgeoisie, l’accumulation des bibelots, source de confusion mentale. Il lui fallait de l’ordre, et ce tableau devait créer les conditions du repos, une sorte d’asile de paix, avec juste les choses nécessaires, où calmer la tête et l’imagination. L’artiste devait tenir à cette projection mentale rassurante, qui le dépeint en creux : la première peinture de cette chambre (1888) ayant été endommagée, il la refit en effet deux fois (1889).
- Six coquillages sur une table de pierre, 1696, Adriaen Coorte
Une sorte de paradoxe gît dans cette petite composition, d’une infinie délicatesse, où ces quelques coquillages, presque insignifiants de prime abord, renvoient pourtant à la puissance de l’économie coloniale néerlandaise, fondée sur la Compagnie des Indes orientales depuis 1602. Tous, en effet, viennent des mers du Sud, rapportés par bateaux. Alors que le goût des curiosités se développait en Europe, au contact d’autres mondes, les tableautins de Coorte devaient être appréciés par des collectionneurs qui doublaient leurs précieux trésors de leurs représentations.
- Livret de dévotion, vers 1330-1340, ivoire polychrome et doré, Cologne
Ce double feuillet représentant les Arma Christi (les “Armes du Christ”) fait partie d’un petit livret de dévotion. Aux scènes de la Passion du Christ, qui y sont également représentées, sans texte, répondent les instruments de cette Passion, soigneusement inventoriés dans l’image : des trente deniers reçus par Judas pour prix de sa trahison au tombeau vide, en passant par le roseau et le fouet de la flagellation. Rien ne manque, excepté le Christ lui-même, absent, mais présent dans chacune de ces choses qui devaient faire récit, engager à la prière et à la méditation.
#art#still life#vincent van gogh#giorgio morandi#pierre bonnard#gerhard richter#jean-baptiste-siméon chardin#i really liked this exhibition#there was something very moving about it#very human#bibi#one of the first artworks in the exhibition is the 'pain et figues' one and it's also one of the oldest featured#and idk i got a little emotional seeing it
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☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 2 ]
{☆} characters furina, neuvillette {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings none {☆} word count 1.9k {☆} previous [ 1 ]
This had to be a punishment of some sort – some kind of divine punishment.
She was bored out of her mind just watching the sleeping body – she hadn't blinked once in the past five hours, her eyes were really starting to hurt. Yet they still hadn't moved so much as an inch since she sequestered them away to the only place she had known to be safe.
But it'd been almost a week since then.
The only solace she found was that Teyvat had seemed much less hellbent on collapsing in on itself like a dying star.
That counted for something.
Not much, but something!
..Even if their position was no better then it was a week ago.
There was, after all, still the issue of what to do about the false Creator – the actual imposter – and the Archons following them like blind lambs. The other Archons wouldn't listen if she tried to reason with them, and it would only risk the life of Divine One if she spoke of their location to anyone else.
She also was pretty fond of having her head still attached to her shoulders.
So she avoided them all together. Partially because she wasn't sure she wouldn't have a breakdown at the sight of them..she'd never been a fighter, and fighting an Archon? Easy pass.
Instead she was forced to babysit the sleeping Divine until they woke up while Neuvillette handled taking care of the nation and dealing with the other Archons – and by extension the false Creator.
Really though, she would almost think them dead if not for the subtle rise and fall of their chest.
Though..this also left her with a lot of time to herself. A lot of time to think.
She really didn't like it.
There wasn't a lot to occupy her mind and what little there was only distracted her for a scant few moments before her eyes drifted back to the Divine like she was locked in their orbit, unable to escape.
She closed the same book for the twelfth time – she kept count – and returned it to it's meticulously designed place within her bookcase. A low, barely audible huff of frustration escaped her lips before she could bite it down, her stare boring a hole into the body of the Divine One with a sharp intensity she rarely showed.
She was tired, bored and constantly on edge, fearing that at any moment someone would find out about their presence here.
That, at the drop of a hat, she would be powerless to stop the greatest tragedy of her time play out before her eyes.
Neuvillette would have scolded her for being so petulant, especially around the Divine One, if he were here.
But he wasn't.
He was out running her nation, instead.
And what was she doing? Nothing!
She grit her teeth, nails digging harshly into the palm of her hands as she took a deep breath – now was not the time to think about that. She had..much more pressing matters. Sulking and letting her thoughts spiral helped no one, least of all herself.
Yet her attention was caught by a harsh inhale, the rustle of fabric – were they finally waking up? She was exhausted, but it all vanished at the sudden drop of life within the otherwise deathly still body of the Divine.
Her eyes followed the subtle twitch of their fingers, watching as their brow furrowed and their features twisted in something almost like..pain.
..She wasn't ready.
What was she supposed to say?
Should she even say anything? Would that be considered impolite? Does she wait for them to speak first? Should she kneel? Bow?
She doesn't get much time to find her own answer before their lashes flutter, chest heaving with every strangled breath. Every single thought vanishes from her mind the moment she meets their eyes.
For a long, silent moment she thinks that her heart must have stopped.
Their eyes glow like the cresting of the sun over the horizon, painting the world in hues of gold – yet it also reminded her of the dipping of the moon below the waves, casting the briefest, most gentle of lights upon the world engulfed in darkness. In the depths of their eyes was the birth and death of stars in the infinite cosmos – glittering stars in a sea of empty, blank space that left her feeling lightheaded and breathless.
Beneath the splendor is a spark of recognition in their eyes so vibrant it was like a shooting star piercing through the dark night sky, leaving nothing but the wonder in the eyes of the observer as the only proof it ever existed – brilliant in it's beauty, however brief.
It is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.
"Focalors?"
The lilt of their voice nearly made her knees buckle beneath her – euphoria so consuming it left her feeling she was starving swallowed her whole, her mind blanking in a moment of utter bliss. It was..an indescribable feeling that she doubted she could ever hope to put into words – not in a way that could properly express it, try as she might.
She swallowed the words that threatened to spill from her lips – she couldn't make a fool of herself. Not in front of them of all people. She'd never forgive herself.
"Divine One," She rasps, clearing her throat and covering her mouth with a hand to mask both her nervousness and the small smile that creeps across her face. She quickly regains her composure, hand resting on her hip as she puffs out her chest with every bit of pride she can manage. "I am sure you must be confused, but worry not– your most loyal acolyte has seen the truth!"
The silence is deafening.
She opens one eye, peaking at the bewildered and almost distraught expression of the Divine.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
That..she was not prepared for. Surely they knew who they were! Surely they knew. They had to– she's been praying to them for as long as she's breathed, she's dedicated every hour of her life to living up to their ideals, they can't just–!
"Lady Furina?"
Neuvillette, thankfully, spares her the embarrassment of having a meltdown in front of the Divine, the gentle rap of his knuckles against the door making her and the Divine pause, the soft lull of his voice soothing her nerves and yet setting her on edge at the same time.
"Neuvillette." She clears her throat again, her steps hurried as she marches to the door and pries it open none too gently, a forced smile pulling at her lips. She wastes no time tugging the man into the room, shutting the door behind him with a short huff. The silence is, somehow, even worse then before as the three of them stare at each other in absolute exasperation.
Neuvillette, for his part, manages to get his act together with a sharp clearing of his throat, bowing so low even she looks unnerved. She steals a brief glance at the Divine, and she's taken aback by the uncomfortability twisting their features into a grimace.
Their expression is schooled back into one of empty apathy when he stands back to his full height, but she saw it – she knows she did! Did they not like their worship? Were they not respectful enough? For a moment, she feared the Divine would smite Neuvillette down on the spot..but they just stared at him like he was a ghost.
"Why aren't you killing me?"
The defeated, resigned tone combined with the way their voice cracks makes her heart ache in her chest – it feels as though her entire world is crumbling down at her feet, and she cannot explain why she feels such emotions so strongly, but it is suffocating. It is almost as if Teyvat itself is weeping, bearing down upon her shoulders like a heavy weight.
She feels the urge to weep herself, but she powers through, gritting her teeth long enough for Neuvillette to take his place at the side of her – though it feels more like their – bed, kneeling like he was going to pray.
"Divine One," He offers a hand with a quiet rumble of his voice, the words slipping off his tongue like honey. It's like trying to soothe a stray cat..though she'd never voice such comparisons of the most Divine out loud. "I..we mean you no harm. I swear on my authority as the Iudex of Fontaine and Chief Justice that you are safe with us."
The skepticism she expected, but the reverence in which Neuvillette must convince them – or perhaps they are simply so tired that they simply did not care any longer if it was all some ploy to drive a knife between their ribs. She didn't expect them to actually place their hand in Neuvillette's.
He didn't either, judging by the way he visibly brightened – not that they'd notice, but she did.
..Not that she could really blame him, her heels clicking against the floorboards as she shifted her weight to the other foot with a nervous energy that was practically bursting at the seams, more then a little jealous of the attention he was receiving. She was the one who found them, she was the one who stayed with them the entire time..but he gets all the attention?
How unfair.
"O-of course! We would never lay a hand on our creator," She adds, her voice a little higher pitched then she would have liked as she placed her hands on her hips, puffing out her chest and brushing off the sting of jealousy. "Least of all I– your most loyal, most devout acolyte!"
She felt baffled when she heard the sound of their laughter, her shoulders hunching and her cheeks flushing on mere instinct – she was expecting mockery, but the look in their eyes, still dulled by a pain she cannot even begin to imagine, made her hesitate.
..It was, perhaps, the most genuine thing she'd heard from them ever since before the hunt began.
She wasn't sure why her heart hurt at such an idea, but it was enthralling to see the beginnings of a half hearted smile on their lips.
For a moment, her mask of theatrics was forgotten as she stared at them in a mixture of awe and adoration– and though she didn't look at Neuvillette, she could imagine he must've shared such an expression.
Had she any doubts that they were her Creator, that they alone were the most Divine..they would wiped clean now. There was no mistaking the way the world itself seemed to grow clearer as they glanced up at her like she was worth something.
For a moment, she realized how cold the false Creators gaze had been now that she has felt warmth so gentle it almost made her knees buckle beneath her. It felt like a pale imitation, now.
Nothing could compare to the warmth that spread through her body at the mere semblance of a smile upon their lips. She didn't even mind if it was her they were laughing at anymore, she just wanted to hear them laugh again.
She'd make a fool of herself, if she had to.
She'd never felt so..ravenous for such a thing, but just the briefest glimpse was addictive.
She simply couldn't help herself from striding across the room and clasping their free hand in her own, her smile wide enough to unnerve as she leaned her weight onto the bed. For a moment, she considered pulling away at the way they startled, but her mind was made up by then – there was no going back.
"Again."
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#fic tag#neuvillette#focalors#furina#dont ask what happened here idk#this was. also supposed 2 be neuvi focused and then i.#dont talk 2 me abt focalors i wont ever shut up#got a 300k word essay on hand abt how i feel abt her character/how i interpret her personality and her story#focalors jsut like me fr fr (cries at the slightest inconvenience or the slightest mean comment)#shes so pathetic girlfail im gonna chew on her#what happens when reader gets stuck with two emotionally repressed french bastards?? hell#neuvi is the “emotionless” flavor of emotionally repressed in that hes HORRIBLE at showing emotions at all#ask him to smile and its incredibly unnerving and theres too many teeth but hes trying his best please call him pretty or he will cry :(#furina is the flavor of emotionally repressed where she makes it up by having Too Many emotions#using theatrics and masks to show everyone what they want to see but inside this girl is a MESS#constant anxiety and panic 24/7#will do random shit and look at you and if u dont compliment her she will think u hate her and cry#compliment her and she'll do even stupider shit to try and impress you more#i love my scrunkly little babies they r so stupid and mentally ill someone get these bitches some THERAPY#i want 2 put them under a microscope#watch this be ooc fr furina when more of her lore drops if shes not girlfail im leaving#anyway see u in a week im going on a trip ill get back 2 u in 6-7 business days
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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I Feel TFOne Could've Handled This Better...
Hot take but I feel like folks have been really generous with the take that OP was unable to find ~the perfect words~ in the heat of the moment (and thus should be given some grace) when he told D to stand down and "not be like Sentinel"... namely cuz I don't feel that the narrative supports this?
Like-- after all is said and done, OP doesn't reflect on that part of their split. He doesn't have a moment where he seeks validation or voices his regrets over the choice of his words, it's actually cut-and-dry. The narrative (as it stands) supports that OP saw D-16 acting up, so he called him out and stood on business, down to the last scenes where he's basically like "yeah it's a shame but y'all knew I had to do it to 'em."
It didn't have to be much! I'm not saying to absolve Megs, just show OP looking at things from a different perspective/contemplating a bit on that tough choice and the morality of the moment. Some examples of what I wish we had:
B-127 straight up blurting the obvious by later chatting with Orion like, "Wait so you told your best friend that he was acting just as bad as the guy who enslaved us for our entire lives and was torturing him like an hour ago? Oof. Seems kinda harsh." Then have some of OP's regret show on his face.
OP asking Elita-1 after Megs is banished if he did the right thing. Have Elita back his choice up, saying, "You should have seen what he did after you were... gone. It was terrifying. I know it was tough, but you made the right call." OP is grateful for the support, but a conflicted look still flashes across his face before he steels himself to look out towards the horizon... and the future.
Have OP walk past other mechs/former miners who didn't go with the High Guard saying stuff like, "Wish I could've given Sentinel a piece of my mind!" "Yeah, but I'm glad he's gone for good." "Ugh I miss everything." "Oh, it was crazy! Megatron picked him up and then he rrrrriiipped-- oops, hey there, Mr. Optimus... Prime... sir?" And have OP wave hello, looking a bit sick when they leave.
Post-credits scene with Starscream going on and on, asking Megs when they'll be back to teach the upstart Prime a lesson. Megs grabs his face to shut him up. "Patience, Starscream. The Prime thinks I'm no better than Sentinel... but I'll show him. He wants Iacon? He can have it. In the meantime we'll take the rest of the planet! Then I'll come back, crush Prime under my heel, and we'll take Iacon too. Sentinel's reign will barely be a footnote, because I'm about to become Optimus Prime's worst nightmare." The vocal performance would really need to sell this-- like picture Megs saying something like that from a place of anger and hurt, not so much a place of genuine evil or malice.
Basically instead of Orion's assertion being backed up as black and white/good vs bad, I wish we had some different opinions/reactions from the characters sprinkled in there. Like you can't tell me out of allllll the miners who weren't strong enough/willing to go with the High Guard and ended up sticking around that NONE of them were like "eyyo honestly?? Kiiiiinda glad Sentinel is dead. Wish I could have helped, tbh." like come onnnnn...
And you can't even argue that he's not an active threat-- I don't think everyone would see things that way! It's not just about the threat he physically has, but the threat he represents and is very likely to act upon if given the opportunity! He has a proven track record of not only being sneaky and conniving, but also capable of dealing some serious damage/killing people bigger and stronger than him, plus he has the backing of the Quints. All he'd need to do is wriggle his way out of jail and run off to his sponsors, then he'd probably be back to hurt more people! (If the Quints didn't just kill him out of incompetence lmao). There's a lot of "ifs" here, but I think it's a valid argument that not everyone would agree on what is the right or wrong way to handle Sentinel once he was down long enough to, like, do something about him.
I feel the situation needed a bit of nuance. In some way I wish they had kicked the can and had D and Orion bicker while Sentinel escaped, then have D get frustrated enough by the loss of Sentinel to point fingers (and his fusion canon) at Orion, who then falls and becomes OP. (Megs could still show some of thar emotion/remorse right after he does it too.) Not only would this open the door for a sequel, but tbh the Quint might have just killed Sentinel anyways and sought to deal with the miners uprising themselves lol. (Maybe that could have been an after credits scenes too instead of the B-127 bit??)
Would love to see a moment in a sequel where they have a calmer moment after arguing for a bit. Have OP mention how Megs was out of line, that it hurt and even scared him to see him act that way, and Megs can quietly point out "you said I was as bad as Sentinel... is that really how you see me? After everything we went through?"
Then OP can fumble the bag again lmao like "D, I... I'm sorry, that didn't come out right... but you still took things way too far..."
"Why am I not surprised-- your opinion is what matters the most! Maybe that's why you became a Prime, since you're so good at acting like the world revolves around you--!"
*gets interrupted by someone else before another yelling match ensues*
#rambling#transformers one#tf one#tfo#i'll be honest a lot of this stems from how rushed i felt the last like... 3rd of the movie feels#i feel Optimus is so dismissive of Megs!! like basically the whole movie but ESPECIALLY after coming back to life as a Prime???#your best friend is Going Through It. clearing having an Emotional Breakdown.#He drops you. In the moment it mattered most he chose violence... but notice what he says right before that?#Megs says ''I'm done saving you''#Like??? y'all don't wanna delve into that a little more?????#i half expected Optimus to pop up and be like ''excuse me. i wasn't done talking. what Did You Mean By That??''#instead he comes up and IMMEDIATELY has already written off this entire relationship as well.#Megs dropped him. it was a aplit second decision. we see in the movie D leaning into these bad impulses.#Orion is supposed to mature gradually so he's more level-headed by the end. why does that equate to abandoning the friendship??#why does he suddenly wanna drop Megs too? wouldn't this be the time for ''please listen to me'' part 2?#''it doesn't matter who has the matrix. we can make a change for the better! please listen to me'' etc#also minor nitpick but lmao why was OP Talking Like That after becoming Prime?#like he goes from ''haha hey guys hows it goin'' to ''You have used your gifts for Evil and Betrayed the entire planet''#babes what. Cybertron?? we went on a 2 day road trip on foot the fuck you know about Cybertron.#like betrayed Iacon maybe but idk maybe the guys in Tarn would be cool with Megs you dont know! lmao!#if my friend and I had beef and they started talking to me like the queen of england i would literally ask where they got their soapbox.#ohhhh you think you're morally superior? stop speaking for the whole planet lmao!! already named prime and letting it go to his head!!#strange dieties lying in the core of the planet distributing magic baubles that bring you back to life#is no basis for picking a planetary leader#this has been Orion Was Right: The Movie#when i wish there was a bit more.#maybe another 20-30 min would have helped me idk hhhhh#but Megs turn felt sooooo fast... then things just kept escalating from there.#''some transformations are permanent'' sir it's been like 48 hours since y'all learned you lives were a lie.#you *really* don't think Megs could ever cool down and apologize/change his mind?? you too??? tf???
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i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo
#ganondoodles talks#also probably sounds like self pity#but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist#i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think#but the internet never gets to see that much of me#i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere#so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing#i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out#i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with#i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong#im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh#it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again#sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with-#-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it#doesnt sound like a good excuse#... i want to thank those that do stick with me#even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise#there are little things that still make me angry at myself#like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing#and i got two#and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop#i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late#i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom#no matter how much i enjoy the ask#and i love getting asks!!!#im sorry :((
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Not sure how to feel about that last reblog now.
#like yeah I get why they would want him to be a ghost again#but couldn’t he at least reunite with Molly again as Todd? and Molly get closure?#with him as Todd?#I can see why they would want to have the roles switched and have Scratch be the one to bring joy to Molly like she did for him#I just don’t know about the idea of scratch becoming a ghost again so early#like I know there’s fans that perfer his ghost form more#(again this is coming from someone who was self shipping with Scratch as a ghost for about two years before the reveal)#it just feels like he finally got to live again only to get it tossed away#maybe it just affects me a little bit more since I relate to Scratch’s story of being afraid of living life for so long#and how much comfort the show and characters gave me while I was suicidal at the time#and that seeing scratch grow in the show and finally faced his fears of living just hit home to me#like he was my role model#I wanted to live again because he wanted to too#sorry for getting emotional I’m just… idk I’m very conflicted#suicide tw#suicide mentioned#suicidal tw#suicidal mentioned#added the tigger warning tags just in case#💬 chy chatter 💬
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Come back home when you have some sense
You can throw your life away just not at my expense
You’re not the son I raised
#jhariah#this one just rawrrfrrr#and then uh another line thats like ‘tell me did you raise a man?’#nice#im just listening to the new album to cope with nasty sickness and feeling out of it#god this album is really good it has every emotion in there like this song for example just the part where they scream the chorus its like#hnnnghhh#hm some other moments from the album im liking a lot uhhh i love re: concerns a lot#the part where hes like reading off the complaints and then the part where hes just screaming and its like BAM BAM BAM BAAAM#sasuke is so good and the bit at the end where its like ‘i just want you to know im so so...’#like hes gonna say sorry but cant seem to say the word for whatever reason and i know nothing about sasuke#but i has to imagine the fan girlies are eating gravel over that one lol it gets me#and theres just that like spooky echoing afterwards#the intro to fire4fun goes SOOOOOOOO hard i was losing my shit its awesome#the entirety of trust ceremony is giving me big feelings but specifically that part towards the end where its all quiet and you hear#its like whistling i think? like a marching band is coming in maybe#but it also kinda sounds like nature too and idk i like got a little bit um magical at that part cuz i was driving down a big hill#and it had been raining but there was a clearing in the clouds and the sun was bright and like at this particular hill#you can just see everything like the land stretches for miles theres trees hills the river farms all that shit#and idk with the extreme stress and depression ive been feeling its hard to have these moments where life seems worth it#and its hard to really feel anything anymore or to feel in the moment but idk i was just going down that hill seeing everything and it was#very majestic so yeah that song is definitely gonna have the same effect as pin eye for me#which i must mention pin eye again its still OOOOGHH very good it came at a pretty good time for me#yeah basically this album is uhhhh whats keeping me somewhat grounded rn i recommend 👍
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Jason Robertson for ESPN’s The Point
I have a lot of kids and... people who come up to me and [are] like, "Oh, you're Jason Robertson," and they're Asian and they want a picture. Or I remember going to a game, during the season, and I saw a Filipino flag.
#jason robertson#dallas stars#stars#*#soz for deeply indulgent lil gifset. i just love this feature so much...#the ice rink his dad built inside their house that had the homeowners' association on their asses lmfao#the fact that no one invites him to golf because he SUCKS. pkariya fans usa 🤝!!! idk man.#mostly it's like i'm old enough that there's no need to sensationalize the emotional significance of his place in the sport/league whatever#but it does in fact continue 2 be special! & seeing all those clips sliced together kind of got me in a soft little place in my heart T__T#like it's an extension of baseline temperament but he does approach his position w a commendable balance of self-awareness/levity#Anyway.
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actually i do have something to say about this chapter and it's quite critical of it but also i'm tired tonight and i've been talking about it long and hard on discord already and putting it all together in a coherent post feels like too much of a task tonight. all i'm gonna say is that part 2 was very obviously going in a certain direction from the start, and i loved that direction, and to an extent it is still going in that direction but now very obviously missing a huge chunk of what stirred it in that direction. and i'm hesitant to simply say it's fujimoto that's dropped the ball on this (though it might the idealization, who's to say) because from the actual shape of the writing + slump in paneling/art + recent bitter interview by fujimoto + japanese audience is apparently vocally not a fan of asa + my own cursed knowledge of shounen jump and shueisha editors and how they react to a fall in sales = i think the lack of focus on asa has really hurt the themes of part 2 when she was an integral part of it + i think this wasn't entirely fujimoto's doing and it's very likely because she is apparently strongly disliked in japan and there's good reason to believe that fujimoto was told to not focus on her nearly as much bc sales slump and people complain as soon as she shows up. which sucks. becaue what made part 2 work as well as it did was the synergy and parallel between the two protagonists' paths, and the absence of asa's path in the past few months (both in universe and by real time in the comic) feels like a genuine writing and thematic and emotional hole in the comic that to me shows that she WAS supposed to be there. fujimoto had fully intended to write her in there bc there's a hole in the shape of her where she is very obviously supposed to fit. it isn't simply a question of "author forgets his female character" it's a question of "this crucial part of the manga is missing and the author is painfully aware of it and bitter about it too"
#eli talks#csm#this is still not coherent i'll make a more coherent version at one point.#anyhow this still worked for me even during the denji megafocus#bc it felt like the boomerang was gonna return and asa was gonna be back in her place#and we were gonna see the counterbalance to denji's focus#her own rise to fame and emotions during this and growth with yoru#her absorption into the church and its horrors; the love bombing and adulation she finally got#the emotions about chainsaw man as a character and growing more reliant on yoru#the bitter and dramatic fall and its immediate aftermath; reacting to losing her arm#instead we get a character who until now had been an intensely emotion-driven and passive character IMMEDIATELY thrust into action#and given v little insight into her thoughts and interiority#something is missing!#it's not like fujimoto had nothing planned for her. she was written so intently and well#and suddenly it's like she dropped out of existence#and suddenly the paneling got worse and the art got worse and the hiatuses worse#and we get an interview from fjmt where he talks bitterly about commercial expectations interfering with artistic intentions#and how he wishes he didn't have to draw aymore#a guy who talked about how he was obsessed with drawing!#idk maybe it's idealization but i feel like it's not hard to put two and two together here
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if i’m being honest… seeing gojo’s body getting transported and realizing that that’s what it was, did make me a bit emotional about his death again
#like. i had my day or two of being distraught and crying#but then i got over it and hadn’t been emotional about it since september#but seeing that got me a little sad again and idk why#i guess just finally seeing more acknowledgement and confirmation of “oh. he’s dead for real isn’t he” got me#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk manga#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#jjk 248#jjk chapter 248#me.txt
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...😭
#i've never had a job in my own field that i've liked as much as i've liked my current one#the semester is ending soon and today i heard my contract will not be renewed bc the person i'm substituting will return to work after all#i've been feeling so tired and a bit poorly after the nokia arena show and i probably should have called in sick today#as i was absolutely useless today#and then after my only class today my students came to me with a gift?? 😭#a pink enamel moomin mug and some chocolate and a paper on which they had written nice things about me + a drawing of a dachshund 😭#and i burst to tears right there in front of them because i was so touched (and also because i'm just really really tired and emotional)#i'm so tired about having to apply for new jobs and having to start all over again#i'm so tired of having to do shitty short-notice substitutions again#i feel like i deserve better than that but on the other hand i fee like life's giving me exactly what i deserve and maybe this is it#i'm dreading the summer because idk if i'll have a job to go to in the autumn#and even if i did find something it won't be like the job i have now#also. it's may day eve and the weather's lovely#and i'm hiding in my apartment with the curtains closed so i won't see all the people going out and having fun with their friends#for me may day eve has never been like that. i've always felt so very excluded from those celebrations#on top of that i got yelled at by a bus driver and i'm the worst friend that ever existed#i'm trying to quit on whining about my sad little life but it gets so lonely#please know i'm not writing this for attention or pity. i know y'all have problems of your own and i'm just being a dramatic crybaby
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