#and i'm tired of playing nice with people

[ms-demeanor]

Since July (when the business I work for got acquired by a larger company) I've been doing a LOT more work and have been under a lot more stress and have been a lot more tired.

I have also said the words "I'm severely underpaid and we need to fix this" to at least three people from the c-suite and have been assured that nobody has forgotten that and that's on the agenda.

It's great that that's on the agenda but I keep having to choose between buying a mattress that doesn't hurt and paying power bills and it has been five months. (I got paid about a thousand dollars for a side project recently so this is no longer a choice that has me over a barrel but also it's not a choice I should have been struggling with given the size of the company I'm now working for and my tremendously increased workload)

All of which is background for the fact that I am applying for jobs and have been spending an unconscionable amount of time on LinkedIn (which is, like, eighty times more soul-crushing than I had realized; it is fucking grim on that website).

Because applying for jobs is a nightmare and because it is totally normal to apply for approximately a million jobs before you hear back from one, I have made up a tiny, miserable RPG to play to track my applications and I figure every time I "die" in the game I'll do something nice for myself like burn a vacation day or get takeout.

Anyway, here are the rules for playing Labor Quest:

Player starts with 100 HP; interactions with the Job Board determine player health over time.

Applying for a position: +1hp

Response: (call or email): +2hp

Interview: +10hp

Rejection: -10hp

Ghosting (1 month silence): -2hp

You die when you get to 0 points.

I'm playing very slowly because I do at least have a stable job with benefits so I'm not putting in more than a few applications a week and I'm currently at a score of 93. I've been ghosted by a landscaping company that was looking for a receptionist (and that I had to do an indeed skills test for to apply) and rejected by an extremely scammy ghostwriting company that I mostly replied to just to see what would happen (it's the writing company from the Dan Olsen "Contreprenuers" video). I suspect that I'm going to lose a lot of HP through ghostings in the coming week (I only wrote this out as a game in October so I haven't been tracking ghostings more than a month).

I'm considering adding modifiers like "reconfiguring entire resume for one submission," "taking skills tests," and "writing a goddamned cover letter," "spending > 1hr on LinkedIn in a 24hr period" that would also impact player HP.

[gotta-winwin]

OT13 Reaction -- the aha moment

or...how they realize they're in love with you

seungcheol doesn't get that aha moment, falling in love isn't something that happens within seconds for him. it's like he's slowly drifting into love, not even realizing you've become the focal point of his entire existence. when it finally hits him, it's a quiet, simple moment. he's watching you make him breakfast in the morning, admiring you quietly from the kitchen counter. he zones out for a moment, blinking suddenly and realizing damn. that's my woman. and he knows he's ruined for life.

it's kind of silly, how jeonghan realizes he's in love with you. he's just returned home from a busy day at work, entering the house to find it empty. searching the place top to bottom, he's about to call you when - BOO - you jump out from one of the closets and scares the soul out of him. he's clutching his chest, watching as you collapse onto the ground in a fit of giggles. he can't help but laugh along, realizing through the chaos that he's found his soulmate, and he'd be damned not to admit he's in love with you.

joshua's a simple man by nature. he's easily happy in life, only needing his members, his job, his lifestyle, and of course, you. it doesn't take long into your relationship before he realizes he's in love, as the two of you take a stroll along the Han River after a long day. he's watching the setting sun reflect against your figure, taking his phone out to snap a few pictures. it's when he notices his camera roll is full of pictures of you does he think well, that's it. i'm in love.

upon meeting his family, jun notices how much work you've put into it. you're doing your best to speak his town's dialect, communicating with his parents in a language that made them most comfortable. his heart swells when he sees you amidst his childhood home, trading stories and eating with the people who raised him. it's when he notes that you look so perfect here that he realizes you just fit. he's in love.

as if everything else is with soonyoung, his aha moment is full of fireworks and pizzazz. having just finished the most record breaking performance of his life, he finds himself with one thought only: i want to go home. usually, it's because he's tired. but now, ever since you stumbled into his life, he finds himself wanting, needing, to go home so he can hold you and recite everything that happened today. he's practically thrumming with energy to rush home, and everyone around him sees what is so painfully obvious. he's so in love.

wonwoo's always credited himself to be a loner. not a lot of people can fit with his quiet personality, so when you offer the idea of "parallel play" he's a little confused. his heart warms when you explain that you don't mind doing separate things as long as you're in the same area, understanding that he needs more time to himself than others might. it's when you tell him you love him enough to compromise does he think im so in love with this girl right now.

woozi's used to writing songs dedicated to his fans and members. he sits down for another writing session, brainstorming ideas and the thought of you pops into his mind. he shrugs, thinking it might be nice to mix it up a bit, sitting down to write something about you. it's when he reads his own words back does he realize he's irrevocably screwed and so in love with you. thought about settling down, buying her a house and saying screw the music. yeah, he's in love.

having always been a realist, minghao doesn't necessary believe in true love, or love at first sight. he understands there's going to be someone out there for him, but he's skeptical that that someone is going to be perfect. all his beliefs go out the window the moment he sees you - it's like you're surrounded by a golden glow - and he realizes maybe love at first sight can be real.

seokmin loves and gives as easy as breathing. he's always been a generous guy, and it's when you sit him down and kindly remind him to leave some for himself does he stare at you and realize ok i've found the one. you've become that steadiness in his life that used to be just his members, and you love and give to him like it's as simple as breathing too.

having always been the resident cook, mingyu's eyeing your food creation like it's some kind of poison or drug. he had insisted you didn't need to cook for him, he's always been the cook and doesn't mind it, but you were stubborn and he relented. it's when the first bite blows him away does he realize he kinda misses having someone cook for him too. if you're this good at cooking i might just have to marry you, he says, ignoring how you blush, going back for another bite.

seungkwan's always been the entertainer. he doesn't mind it, he enjoys the fact it's his job to make everyone laugh. but when times get tough and he's in no mood to be the entertainer, you're right there to support him. it's when he gets home to you after a particularly rough day and you welcome him in with open arms, murmuring how he's done well and doesn't need to do more. it's when he realizes he can just be seungkwan - not seungkwan the entertainer, but just seungkwan - and he loves you for that.

vernon never really thought about finding the one. he always just assumed that they would find him. and that's exactly what happens, when you bump into each other at the movie theatre - both there alone just cause. it's when you're enthusiastically going band for band with vernon about movies that he's forced with the realization that shit. maybe i have found the one.

chan's always known he was in love with you. he doesn't like to admit it cause he thinks it makes him sound sappy, but he truly never questioned his love for you. it was a simple thing in his mind - this person makes me so fucking happy - i must be in love. and how could it not be simple for him? he's staring at you quipping about some joke to his friends and he's thinking i love you. he's watching you just wake up from a nap and he's thinking i love you. he sees a text from you on his phone mid-dance practice. i love you. he's always been in love with you because he loves everything to do with you.

[manwritingtales]

Fuck! Wrong Body!

I can only jump bodies every few years and this fuckin' man had to jump to my eye line! I was ready to jump, to swap bodies with this hot athletic dude I've been watching for several weeks. I've got it all planned out. I'd switch bodies with him, take his money and live the same as I'd usually done; fucking and getting fucked and making sure this body is shown to the world. But goddammit, when I was finally ready to swap, I didn't waste one second and immediately tracked this dude. I took a deep breath and staring intensely at him, concentrating on him and only him. Then an old man passed by. It was instantaneous. I felt my spirit leave this vessel I'd been inhabiting and move to the older man. From behind a pillar, I suddenly found myself standing in the middle of a street, strange sensations coming over me as this body's senses kicked in.

I was stuck shocked for a moment, and behind the pillar a man was lying on the ground slowly waking up. I stared at the body I wanted to switch to. "You need something?" he said. I stare at his handsome face—the face I could've be as for several years.

"I—" my voice was much deeper. I suddenly felt the weight of this body. His blue polo shirt clung to his body. It was obviously a few sizes too small. I stare at my new gut. The realization finally dawned on me. "Fuck!"

People look in my direction, but I'm too upset to notice. "Goddammit! Why the fuck were you here?!" My voice was much deeper and older than my old body. I stare at his arms, then touch his face. Bearded. I touch his belly.

"Ugh," I groan, this weight very unfamiliar to me. I've mostly switched to athletes, those muscular jock types, so this was extremely different to what I'm used to. Soft music played in his ears and I throw the air pods away in frustration.

"Uhh." The athletic dude looked at me like I was crazy and left. I stare with a sigh as I see his body disappearing into the crowd. That could've been my body.

"Honey? What's wrong?" I hear a female voice from behind me say. I turn around. A woman, in her fifties, maybe. She's looking at me with deep concern. "What's wrong, honey? Are you feeling alright?"

I open my mouth, then close it shut. Without a word, I walk away from her quickly. I hear her echoes as I make my way deeper through the streets.

I run in this heavy, slow body. Everything feels jarring. When switching bodies, every element of your being needs time to reassess. The memories in the brain come in fragments, where it usually takes weeks to months to learn it all, but the thing that immediately makes it clear that you're in another body is the sensation. The physicality of it. For muscle jocks, everything is leaner, tighter, and easier. It's easy to bend his body, to jump, hell, it's easy to breathe. But this body is almost the exact opposite. His shirt is constricting his body. I'm still not sure why he decided to wear something a few sizes too small. His beard scratches his face. His belt cling to his body, his gut held. I feel so heavy and tired, or at least not as energetic as my past body used to be.

I take out his phone and open the camera.

I sigh. I suppose this beard is pretty cool. But I'm really not okay with the idea of being stuck in this body for a few years. He and his wife probably got kids, who'd come looking for him. That won't be a problem, but I tried not to switch bodies with men that had too many attachments. I walk through a random street, trying to get used to the way his body moves. No one's paying me any mind. It kind of feels nice, for a change. One time I switched with this dude who modelled, and the entire time I felt everyone's eyes on my body. But no one's paying me any attention now. I'm just another father vacationing with his family.

"Dario." The name comes out of this new body all of a sudden. "My name is Dario," I mutter in his voice. The details feel so hazy, as my new and old memories are still figuring out space. My name is Dario. I have a wife and two kids, one adult and one in college. I dig deep into his mind for more information about this man. Nothing yet but those key details.

I stop in a nearby café to focus, trying to gather out any of his old life. Not that it's gonna be much use, since I already have a plan to do, but it's always important to make sure that the body you're inhabiting won't bring any problems. I try to imagine myself not as me—but as Dario, a husband and a father of two. I make his body smile.

I'm sure anyone who knows Dario well can see something off. That the smile doesn't quite reach his eyes. That's naturally how it goes at first. If you plan on keeping this body's life and family, be sure to blend in with all his quirks and subtle movements.

I stare at his hairy arms, patting his belly and stroking the bulge in his trousers. I sigh. I just can't help think of the body I was supposed to switch to. This athletic dude with giant biceps and strong legs. I'd look at his body, and watch myself stroking his muscular chest, and muscular arms, talking dirty as I smelled his musk, then I'd...

I feel this body stiffen. I feel his cock harden and I give it a stroke, involuntarily letting out a moan (which earned several glances from people). Huh. This cock is... not bad at all, actually. It's average in size, but—I move his body in a more comfortable position, making sure to hide below the table—it's... thick as a beer can. "Alright," I mutter, enjoying the warmth of his thick cock permeating from his trousers. There's some silver lining after all.

---

It's been a few months in this body. I'm still not completely sure if I like it. After the day I switched with him, I kept my current plan and cut off communication with this body's old life. I'm sure his family must be devastated, but I'll take good care of this body. He is much hairier than the usual ones I'd switch to, much older, definitely, but he's unexpectedly much more virile than I thought. He could last almost as long as those muscle jock dudes I've switched to.

And the attention! It's even different now. One walk at a bar and I still get a lot of glances, now usually from bears and twinks, (and I was much more into bodybuilders and jock types) but I don't hate it after all. His first time getting fucked was rough, and his ass was sore for a while, but I enjoyed watching this body getting plowed by a hairy bear who insisted on calling me daddy.

Memories of this body's life continue to flood, and it felt bad leaving his tenured professor job without a trace, but I'd say I'm making more use of this body by fucking and getting fucked as much as I can.

[tacticalhimbo]

hey friendly fucking reminder that tumblr blogs are not content farms. if you genuinely get mad that someone is expressing themselves on their blog instead of posting the specific content *you* seek, go touch some fucking grass.

the whole point of a blog is to act as a personal hub. fyi. that's the whole reason blogs as a concept exist (and this is pre-tumblr; the internet used to be a personable place until corporations gutted it).

if you want mindless content farms, go back to tiktok or twitter (x) or instagram or wherever the fuck preys upon your personal data and targets content into your silver spoon.

unless someone explicitly says "my blog is for xyz and xyz only", expect the op running it to. i dunno. be a fucking human and post human things.

stop relying on others to curate your online experiences. fucking unfollow people! block people! filter words and tags! you are literally responsible for the things you see, and if seeing people being human is that much of a fucking bother that you have to go out of your way to send anon hate to the person expressing their feelings or seeking help and companionship during hardship????

that says a hell of a lot more about you then it will ever say about any other motherfucker out there. and i hope you have the day you deserve.

[what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque]

Ok I know I'm heavily biased here but like I kinda love that Astarion's romance is one of the few in this type of video game where you basically end up canonically unmarried and childfree in his "good" ending? Just travelling the world??

Like it's honestly the millennial dream lmfaoo cannot believe i chose what would undoubtedly be my favorite option, first try

[covertblizzard]

jaykyle au where they're theatre kids in the same school but they're not the actors jason's the scriptwriter/director and kyle is the prop manager (i don't know the official terms sorry) and they'd probably do an amazing job on the backstage setting if they could stop arguing for 5 whole seconds about their artistic visions and ideas and how "this would obviously work better this way"

[noperopesaredope]

For those of ya'll who were able to vote and didn't vote Kamala. Specifically, those who were able to vote and chose not to vote at all.

I know some of you have reason to dislike or even hate her. But as much as you may hate to acknowledge it, voting for her would have been 1000x better and more honorable than not voting at all.

I was a first time voter. As a young trans person living in an increasingly anti-trans country, this meant everything to me. I may no longer be a minor, but I am 19, and I am young in many ways. I have friends who are still in high school, still not old enough to vote, who are terrified for their lives and safety right now. Young trans people who are being targeted and depend on us to help them. But not just trans folks. POC, immigrants & children of immigrants, women, AFABs, victims of SA, general queer folk, and so many others.

Not long ago, I was unable to vote. I was powerless. This was the first time in my life I felt like I had real power over my future and safety. I and so many other first time voters had finally gotten to have a voice, something we had been denied for long despite it affecting everything about our lives. We had finally gotten the right to vote.

And some of ya'll-- and I know most of ya'll are adults who aren't first time voters --who had the privilege of being able to influence your country, who are able to do something about it, who have the power in your hands to do something- anything. You chose not to vote. You chose to throw it away.

You can hate her. That's your right. You can disagree with me. That's your right. But if you chose not to vote when you could have, knowing how many people whose lives depended on the outcome of this election? Knowing how many young people out there rely on your vote because they cannot advocate for themselves and their freedoms?

If you chose to throw away your vote knowing how many people depended on you...

get the fuck off my blog

[emilykaldwen]

Are fanfic authors desperate for comments. Yes, we are. There is nothing worse than shouting into the void.

But when you comment on a fic, think twice about your comment. If you are only expressing your dislike, then that is not a good comment to leave. Because you know what an unhappy comment signals? I am so upset by something in this chapter/story I have absolutely nothing nice to say and I need to focus on nitpicking/expressing my character or plot dislike.

I cannot tell you how many times I've seen my friends receive comments and when the commenter replied back to the author go 'I wouldn't be here if I didn't like the story!' or 'No I really like it!' Did you? Because nothing in your comments had indicated anything about enjoying the story.

A good rule is 'Hey, I really loved these specific thing and here's why' and if your paragraph of dislike is LARGER than your 'I liked this' portion of the comment, maybe switch that. Because this isn't a youtube comment section, this isn't debate class, nor is it Goodreads.

It's an author on the other side of the screen doing something intensive that brings THEM joy, and they share to connect in that joy with others. And you just wrote a paragraph (or sometimes more!) telling them what you didn't like with nothing about the things you have been enjoying. How is anyone meant to take that as anything but you not liking their story so much you needed to yell it at them.

When an author receives a bunch of comments of people complaining about things, you know what that leads to? people not finishing their story. Because why would they if all they ever receive are unhappy people in their comment sections.

This is why telling people you liked their work is important.

[this is not about my comment section, this is about what I've been seeing in other comment sections and it's been leaving me utterly flabbergasted like what the hell my dudes???]

[darkjusticiar]

I really do love characters like wyll, who truly do their best to commit to acts of kindness and be a source of safety for others even if it's hard, and don't do it born out of some ulterior motive or because he thinks he's expected anything. Idk I didn't realize until very recently that I was raised by my mother to view everything as a transaction and it's made me a deeply cynical person. I want to offer kindness where I can, and I want to be able to recieve it and not question the person giving it to me. As cheesy as it sounds I think wyll has helped with that haha

[cathalbravecog]

i'm the antonymph of the internet

[x-adoringvoid-x]

Apparently that's called the 'irresistible force paradox'

[dentist-brainsurgeon]

Long Vent under read more

TLDR: Tired, Lonely, unhappy with living situation

These past 2 and a half years, especially these past six months have really nailed in just how stifled and suffocated I feel, there was a point where living with my aunt and grandma felt good, I felt loved and comfortable for once, I've lived with them for 8 years of my adult life, but the older I get, the more I realized this is just another restrictive household where I have to walk on eggshells. I have to pretend to be Christian, I have to pretend to be cis and straight, have to pretend I don't have mental problems, and when I'm angry, its always chalked up to be my period, and they always treat me like a child, and its getting more and more obvious as the years go by. I don't get to go out much, in the past two years, the only times I was out of the house for days, was when I was in the hospital, and despite the pain I endured there, I felt sad to leave, and I cried when I was given the OK to go back to work, I hated going back to normal. And the other time, very recently, was when I got to hang out with my best friend for a few days, and it was great! I loved it!! But it was so short lived, it was the only time I was comfortable being myself in public. and I hated going back to normal again. I don't really get to partake in hobbies until maybe when my aunt and grandma fall asleep, and even then I'm too tired to do much of anything. My time is never considered, scheduled for my first PT session? Oh family is coming over and they're going to borrow the car, work? Oh we're going to go eat out with a friend at the Cheesecake Factory, final doctors appointment? Oh I'm getting my hair dyed, Hang out with my friend that was planned for months that I made sure they knew about? we're going on a cruise!!! and many such cases, doesn't matter if I tell them, and put it on the calendar. Sure the house they live in is pretty nice and its good to actually have AC, wifi and my own room for the first time in a long time but, I really only get to exist in my room, if I'm lucky, and they're out of town for a few days, I can finally exist in the living room and I actually don't mind cleaning and I'm able to cook! When my grandma and aunt can't criticize every little thing. I wouldn't mind living by myself, with friends, or even the small chance of having decent roommates, I want to be around people I actually like being around, I want to partake in hobbies at any hour of the day, I just want out, I want to be able to live my life

[leatherbookmark]

a friendly reminder that jgy doesn’t “tell nmj that he’s more important than all those people he’s killed”.

nie mingjue asks two questions.

one, “are you saying your life is more valuable than theirs?” (高贵),

and second, “are you saying you’re different from them?” (不同)

to which jin guangyao says, “yes. of course we’re different!”

he doesn’t say, “of course my life is more valuable!”, note.

these are two separate questions, and he only answers the last one that, in my opinion, is the most mindboggling one.

nmj asks a son of a sex worker, reviled, harassed and bullied just for existing, if he’s any different than other people. nie mingjue, who’s SEEN the way he was treated and stepped forward himself to confront those people.

the same nie mingjue who thinks he’s a l w a y s killed people for a reason, and that it’s fair for him to kill, but when jgy kills it’s always cruel, needless spilling of blood. yknow, despite the saber.

this nmj gets so furious at jgy stating that he’s not like other people that he kicks him down the stairs.

🆗🆒👍

[docmerlin]

public perception on illness has shifted so far that people think i'm insane for not wanting to hug them when they're visibly sick but if they see a medical mask in any context they freak the fuck out

[cheriafreya]

the way I would have probably given Wuthering Waves another chance had I got Changli back then (I didn't)

[headslikekites]

ok I scheduled my artfight things finally. you will never guess what happened (<- the forgetter)