#and i'm tired of playing nice with people

[that-satireguy]

100% disagree. You're a cishet white man? Cool. I'm a brown trans guy who was raised in a misogynistic cult.

Do you know how easy it is.

For people to fall into cults?

Doesn't matter who they are, or whether the cult likes them or not. Frankly, if the cult just say 'you look tired/lonely... just come to ONE of our meetings. You can rest for a little... no need to think. We like you, we'll take care of you.' And then the meeting has all the wonderful nice little joyful parts, with lots of dopamine rushes for the tired/stressed/lonely person.

And they come back. Of course they do. Thats how its designed. Cults don't go for 40 year olds with stable social circles, happy lives and a nice middle class job. They'll go for depressed mid life crisis people, isolated young men, (new parents interestingly), often young women coming out of abusive relationships, and now with the internet teenagers.

'EVERYONE IN THE GYM CLASS GETS TO DO LAPS NOW.'

Its interesting that you bring this up because there have been hundreds of studies that this is a bad way to get through to people. In fact this is PROVEN to create anger, resentment, and isolation from about age 4-5 onwards. This is a full proof way to get people to leave the gym class, and when they can't (because in this case the gym class is just 'white people') they'll go into the arms of another teacher

'You are a group, and responsible for each other. If you don't want to run laps, make sure no one in the group does something stupid.'- this is collective punishment, and especially in situations where yk, not every white guy knows each other(?) And there are other inconsistencies like economic class and age which makes it very difficult to police each others actions and btw, the larger the group, the less effective this principle becomes.

'In that I hear a desperate fear to drown out the uncertainty of the rich tapestry of a varied human experience with an opiate-like acceptance.'-

Yes. Thats it pretty much. Thats what humans want, you want that dopamine to keep flowing in your head. What you're missing here is though, is that your upbringing and social situation plays a role in this. Your resistance, and even derision to this concept, comes from it not being a consistent facet in your life. This usually happens after isolation and intense feelings of hopelessness. When you don't have people to give you the dopamine and human connection you need... this will happen. Theres no 2 ways about it, it will happen. That is when you get therapy. And before the analysis, before the improvement and work, a therapist will listen. listen and tell you that your feelings are ok, and only after that, will you work on them.

'ou don't have to think too hard about it, as long as that warm blanket of surity hits as they smile'- yeah thats how conditioning and love bombing works.

'Man up.'- dumbest advice i've ever heard. genuinely. when has this ever worked for anyone. 'I'm struggling' 'Just don't'.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[noperopesaredope]

For those of ya'll who were able to vote and didn't vote Kamala. Specifically, those who were able to vote and chose not to vote at all.

I know some of you have reason to dislike or even hate her. But as much as you may hate to acknowledge it, voting for her would have been 1000x better and more honorable than not voting at all.

I was a first time voter. As a young trans person living in an increasingly anti-trans country, this meant everything to me. I may no longer be a minor, but I am 19, and I am young in many ways. I have friends who are still in high school, still not old enough to vote, who are terrified for their lives and safety right now. Young trans people who are being targeted and depend on us to help them. But not just trans folks. POC, immigrants & children of immigrants, women, AFABs, victims of SA, general queer folk, and so many others.

Not long ago, I was unable to vote. I was powerless. This was the first time in my life I felt like I had real power over my future and safety. I and so many other first time voters had finally gotten to have a voice, something we had been denied for long despite it affecting everything about our lives. We had finally gotten the right to vote.

And some of ya'll-- and I know most of ya'll are adults who aren't first time voters --who had the privilege of being able to influence your country, who are able to do something about it, who have the power in your hands to do something- anything. You chose not to vote. You chose to throw it away.

You can hate her. That's your right. You can disagree with me. That's your right. But if you chose not to vote when you could have, knowing how many people whose lives depended on the outcome of this election? Knowing how many young people out there rely on your vote because they cannot advocate for themselves and their freedoms?

If you chose to throw away your vote knowing how many people depended on you...

get the fuck off my blog

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM BRIDE *  assorted dialogue from the book by ali hazelwood, some lines reworked to suit a roleplay format, adjust as necessary

every second, i want you too much, and every second, i'm on the verge of wanting you more.

you're not a problem, [name]. you're a privilege.

of all the good things i've felt in my fucking life, you are the best.

you think, but you don't know.

i would take anything you chose to give me.

i would take your problems, your gifts, your moods, your passions, your jokes, your body... i would take every last thing if you chose to give it to me.

maybe you're not meant for the way i'm meant for you, but i'm going to choose you anyway, over and over and over again.

you smell like you're mine.

some nights, when i'm walking past your door, i have to whisper to myself "keep going."

what i am is an adult woman with agency and the tools to make choices. feel free to, you know, treat me accordingly.

maybe there is something devastating about the incompleteness of it.

maybe some things transcend reciprocity. maybe not everything is about having.

honey... are we rich?

you make me want to draw again.

that was a badass speech.

stop reading my file.

badass is my middle name.

i don't know you enough to make a judgment.

your jeans are cool.

there is no world, no scenario, no reality in which i'll gracefully allow you to leave me.

spank me and take away my tv privileges.

i have no friends, no hobbies, and no real purpose aside from earning enough money to pay rent in order to... exist, i guess.

stop playing with your food.

other people's approval is a powerful drug.

at times, there are decisions that feel right.

i've seen you use your phone.

you type "google" into the google bar to start a new search.

you need to be told the right things.

you're intelligent and incredibly skilled at what you do.

you're very beautiful to look at.

am i under your protection?

i won't take your freedom. not when so many others have already done so.

if they murder me, avenge me?

any preferences on how?

be creative.

please don't leave.

how the fuck do you smell like this?

you smell like you just came.

i don't know what it is about me that says "please make yourself at home on my lap," but i'll have to fix that.

i could fuck you very nicely right now. i almost did.

i was trying to check my email.

you don't have friends.

what the fuck did you just do?

do you accept?

i am the victim here.

how many people have you killed?

you went limp in my arms, and i was so fucking scared.

i need you to behave.

hope you packed a lint roller.

i fucking love your scent.

can i play with you?

i'm too tired to keep them at bay.

i've taught myself not to care. about anything.

[tacticalhimbo]

hey friendly fucking reminder that tumblr blogs are not content farms. if you genuinely get mad that someone is expressing themselves on their blog instead of posting the specific content *you* seek, go touch some fucking grass.

the whole point of a blog is to act as a personal hub. fyi. that's the whole reason blogs as a concept exist (and this is pre-tumblr; the internet used to be a personable place until corporations gutted it).

if you want mindless content farms, go back to tiktok or twitter (x) or instagram or wherever the fuck preys upon your personal data and targets content into your silver spoon.

unless someone explicitly says "my blog is for xyz and xyz only", expect the op running it to. i dunno. be a fucking human and post human things.

stop relying on others to curate your online experiences. fucking unfollow people! block people! filter words and tags! you are literally responsible for the things you see, and if seeing people being human is that much of a fucking bother that you have to go out of your way to send anon hate to the person expressing their feelings or seeking help and companionship during hardship????

that says a hell of a lot more about you then it will ever say about any other motherfucker out there. and i hope you have the day you deserve.

[mrfancyfoot]

Today I logged into facebook for the first time in nearly 4 years and went through every profile in my friends list (like ~300) and purged out all the assholes (anyone who openly voted for Trump, other conservatives, and those who I strongly believe did). I've done this before so there weren't many but there are a number that have been wishy-washy with being outward in their bigotry and it helps me keep a mental list of people that deserve only the most very basic level of respect that I can muster because they certainly do not respect me nor people I care about nor many of their fellow human beings. Most disheartening is seeing friends and family who continue to put effort into engaging with people who argue in bad faith and weaponized ignorance.

I dated a man for nearly a year who went to women's and pro-choice rallies and liberal groups with me and said many times that he "was on my side" but turned out to be lying the whole time because he knew I definitely wouldn't date him otherwise. I'd known him for years before since we ran in the same friend circle. I wasn't the only one he had fooled. He slowly lifted the mask until we were constantly arguing because of his bigoted and racist remarks. His favorite thing to do was act oppressed and show me the most obvious Russian propaganda that he would get upset at me for fact-checking and asking for real sources. He wanted to argue, so what he hated most was when I refused to argue with him. Nothing I said was going to change his mind, so I wasn't going to humor or tolerate it (we didn't last long after that point, but by that time, I was afraid of leaving without an excuse that would be "good enough" for him). He legitimately wants civil war so that he can play survival hero and feel validated in his hatred. It didn't come on quickly and a lot of the comments started as "odd" off the cuff things through the time that we dated. He was very much pretending to be a kind person and once really called out, that pretense dropped. He thought I was more like him and that a lot of my regard and kindness for others is "fake." Because that's what a lot of people like that do - they fake being kind for optics, they are not actually kind people, and therefore presume that everyone else is doing the same thing. It's given me major trust issues.

Can't say this enough: these people feel validation in their bigotry when you continue to associate with them. They need to be dropped. They need to learn that their shitty beliefs mean that they get shunned. Make them feel uncomfortable. Quit tiptoeing around and coddling their delicate little feelings because they might get upset. It's okay for them to get upset because someone was mean and told them they don't like them because they think gay and trans people shouldn't exist. I once made a post about how a raped 11 year old child should never be expected to give birth, was told that it was "god's will" and like 5 people piled on the guy so badly he told us to stop being "mean" to him and was terrified to talk to me at work ever again (I have since cut all ties and no longer work with him). I'm personally extremely tired of playing nice for the sake of possibly "converting" someone - especially because you can be polite in telling someone to fuck off with their beliefs. Their beliefs are dangerous, are going to result in people losing their lives, and a frightening number of them are completely okay with that. We need to stop being tolerant of intolerance. It is okay to cut people (including family) from your life when all their presence does is bring you stress and harm.

In a similar vain, don't let the people who chose not to vote (or "protest voted") stick their heads in the sand to escape blame. They are just as culpable as anyone else who directly voted for Trump and other conservatives. They need to grow the fuck up.

For a lot of liberals, it's really uncomfortable to be confrontational and feel like you're being intolerant of someone, but it's way past time to play hardball and call them out instead of coddling them, especially as we're going into the holiday season where many of us will be seeing family with shitty views and targeted family that may need someone to stand up for them. Let them know they're shitty and inappropriate and a disappointment and unworthy of your regard because they certainly lack it for others. Obviously still be safe, but many of us very likely aren't losing anything of value in that scenario. Not having bigoted family members in my life in any way has made me so much happier.

A helpful tip to those who may find themselves in a confrontation: do not stay engaged. Let your views be known and then disengage. Because many of them love to argue and feel like they're defending themselves (many are addicted to those feelings of hatred and overcoming "oppression"), what they don't like is being ignored and feeling like you're rinsing your hands of them. They don't deserve your stress and constant efforts. There are ways to open a dialogue when they are willing to discuss civilly with an open mind, but if they bring intolerance, just shut it down.

(via jhig8bd0cczd1.png (PNG Image, 744 × 810 pixels))

[what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque]

Ok I know I'm heavily biased here but like I kinda love that Astarion's romance is one of the few in this type of video game where you basically end up canonically unmarried and childfree in his "good" ending? Just travelling the world??

Like it's honestly the millennial dream lmfaoo cannot believe i chose what would undoubtedly be my favorite option, first try

[covertblizzard]

jaykyle au where they're theatre kids in the same school but they're not the actors jason's the scriptwriter/director and kyle is the prop manager (i don't know the official terms sorry) and they'd probably do an amazing job on the backstage setting if they could stop arguing for 5 whole seconds about their artistic visions and ideas and how "this would obviously work better this way"

[rustfoxes]

This has just become a list of things I don't like about the game tbh. Oh well.

I do not like having non-Warden characters fighting darkspawn. The whole entire point of the Order is that they are, again, the only ones who can face the Blight without dying instantly, because darkspawn blood is poison. If any rando can fight them, why the fuck have Grey Wardens to begin with?

What is the goddamn message of this game? If you're faced with people doing horrible things absolutely do not try to help? Someone's trying to enslave the whole of the world and you should know better than to try and stop them! Because, oh boy, you might not do it the exactly correct way that doesn't negatively impact anyone! And wow if you did make a mistake, never ever try to mend what you've broken, because that makes you a bad person. You honestly think that a literal spirit of Wisdom didn't consider every fucking option available? I really hope they can tie this shit up in a nice lil bow by the end of it.

I'm so fucking tired of Morrigan being in every goddamn game. I didn't like her in the first one. Same with Isabela. Didn't like Leliana either but thankfully she's not shown up this time outside of conversations. But just fuck Morrigan, I can't stand her being everywhere and the most coolest and most important and oh so special. Love her VA, don't like the character. Don't ask me why, idk man.

Kal-Sharok outpost... with sunlight? I mean, it's beautiful, but no self-respecting dwarf would go where the sun might hit them. You can't really call a place with sunlight the Deep Roads. The first word in "Deep Roads" should give you a pretty significant hint.

For a people as devoted to remaining unchanged, the Kal-Sharok dwarves sure changed their ways quick, if it only took a couple of generations.

Why is the only child in the game in the Grey Warden fort?

Super grateful that Mila isn't an example of the "spunky kid" stereotype where they're a freaking pain and you have to rescue them from trouble they get themselves into. Thanks for being a sensible kid.

I find the whole "wow Solas was so condescending always" thing to be... strange. If you talked to him with the base amount of respect you'd talk to anyone with and told him to knock it off when he started to be rude, he was a perfectly polite and fine conversation partner. He appreciated being told that the elves are trying and if he's so much smarter, he needs to teach them. He acquiesces that you're right and asks what you'd like to know. I never thought he was particularly condescending. Morrigan was much more condescending and belittling at times. The forest echoes as you yell into it. If you were rude and condescending, he was rude and condescending. If you were polite and firm, so was he. I really don't like the assumption that the person playing the game interacted with Solas a set way in the previous game, specially since the assumption is that you were a dick and he was a dick in kind.

The Cauldron got me. Seeing the urns for the gryphons just go on and on into the darkness actually managed a solid hit. Well done on that one.

I get where the Red Lyrium Ghost is coming from, but "why do [the elves] get to thrive when [dwarves] have suffered", really? Really? Orzammar and other dwarven kingdoms are rich as hell off the lyrium they sell to literally everyone else, meanwhile the elves until quite damn recently have been enslaved by humans and lost to their past. No one's a winner here. I get that she's talking about the elves of old, but still. Bub.

Why do we have so much time to hunt down the Gloom Howler though? Wouldn't blighting the gryphons take like... 2 minutes max?

Still frustrated about being immediately told what to do when the game gives you a puzzle. Absolutely zero trust in the player's capabilities.

Disjointed DAtVG feelings/opinions

I've played the game for a bit, I'm not too far in yet, and honestly? I hope it gets better. Spoilers & venting below as you might guess.

Everything seems to be tell, don't show. There's very, VERY little trust in the player. Characters happen upon a ruined village? "The village is ruined! There's no one here!" Yes, we can see that. Character looks upset? Text pops up on screen to tell you that IN FACT!! Character is upset. Couldn't have guessed.

Everything is explained out loud immediately, except the arguably actually important things. If I remember correctly, there's no mention of the 10 year (?) timeskip from DAI, everyone just now knows everything about elven magic and the Fade and the Veil EXCEPT FOR THE PLAYER. None of that is explained! New players are expected to just know, which in some games works, but when you throw characters into a magical forest and say it's Arlathan forest, how tf are they supposed to know what Arlathan is.

Why is Varric a brunette all of a sudden

Characterisation of returning characters is fucking wild. Fun, jokey Harding? Massive chip on her shoulder and real aggressive for some reason. Soft-spoken and measured Solas? Yelling, again, for some damn reason. Where is his iambic pentameter? And he hates blood magic all of a sudden?? Did the writers play the earlier games at all? Solas SPECIFICALLY says in DAI that blood magic has no morality to it and is merely a tool.

The game is linear to the extent that I cannot for the life of me see the point of the game asking you to wrap up unfinished business before moving forward. What unfinished business? You've locked us into a small room with 0 exits and 1 chest. There is no business.

So far there's been zero time for any of the story to breathe. There are no story beats, because the drum machine that is the pacing just keeps hammering on. The gravity of the situation has no time to set in for anyone. THE ACTUAL GODS OF MYTH HAVE BEEN BUST OUT OF GOD-JAIL. THIS IS A HUGE FUCKING PROBLEM. "Yeah, well, people would've died if Solas hadn't been stopped from tearing down the Veil." And this is preferable???? What the actual fuck. DAI Solas wanted to rebuild and to safe-guard his people. TWO of the people he wanted to PROTECT EVERYONE FROM are now out. But oh man, that Solas, he would've hurt folks. You think the wondertwins won't? Jesus fucking Christ.

The gameplay more or less just completely scraps character classes. Playing a mage rn and for some damn reason she has separate ranged attacks. What the actual fuck. What is the point of making people choose a class if a damn mage has to stand next to enemies to attack?

So far doesn't feel like an RPG at all. Starts in media res which is fine, but your character is already established as a cool hero and an important figure. Why? Why weren't we along for that ride?

Character movement is janky af, DAI was much smoother 10 damn years ago. Hopefully they'll somehow manage to fix it.

Either they needed better actors or a much better voice director, because holy shit is the dialogue awkward and halting and just... no.

Writers have clearly had shoes far too large to fill. Dialogue wants to be funny and witty and clever. It is not. Specially not with the phoned in voice acting.

Where have my Welsh/Irish elves gone? Wtf happened there? Also why wasn't there anyone around to tell the actors how to pronounce the elvhen words??

Why the fuck is the rogue our healer.

All quests so far have been walking from A to B, collecting some coins along the path, and then fighting 5 or 10 enemies. No variation at all.

Idk man, I really hope the game will find its legs as it goes on, but so far? Massively underwhelming and honestly quite disappointing. Absolutely does not feel like DA. People critisised DA2 for being rushed and DAI for a whole host of shit, but at least I felt like I was playing a Dragon Age game.

[emilykaldwen]

Are fanfic authors desperate for comments. Yes, we are. There is nothing worse than shouting into the void.

But when you comment on a fic, think twice about your comment. If you are only expressing your dislike, then that is not a good comment to leave. Because you know what an unhappy comment signals? I am so upset by something in this chapter/story I have absolutely nothing nice to say and I need to focus on nitpicking/expressing my character or plot dislike.

I cannot tell you how many times I've seen my friends receive comments and when the commenter replied back to the author go 'I wouldn't be here if I didn't like the story!' or 'No I really like it!' Did you? Because nothing in your comments had indicated anything about enjoying the story.

A good rule is 'Hey, I really loved these specific thing and here's why' and if your paragraph of dislike is LARGER than your 'I liked this' portion of the comment, maybe switch that. Because this isn't a youtube comment section, this isn't debate class, nor is it Goodreads.

It's an author on the other side of the screen doing something intensive that brings THEM joy, and they share to connect in that joy with others. And you just wrote a paragraph (or sometimes more!) telling them what you didn't like with nothing about the things you have been enjoying. How is anyone meant to take that as anything but you not liking their story so much you needed to yell it at them.

When an author receives a bunch of comments of people complaining about things, you know what that leads to? people not finishing their story. Because why would they if all they ever receive are unhappy people in their comment sections.

This is why telling people you liked their work is important.

[this is not about my comment section, this is about what I've been seeing in other comment sections and it's been leaving me utterly flabbergasted like what the hell my dudes???]

[darkjusticiar]

I really do love characters like wyll, who truly do their best to commit to acts of kindness and be a source of safety for others even if it's hard, and don't do it born out of some ulterior motive or because he thinks he's expected anything. Idk I didn't realize until very recently that I was raised by my mother to view everything as a transaction and it's made me a deeply cynical person. I want to offer kindness where I can, and I want to be able to recieve it and not question the person giving it to me. As cheesy as it sounds I think wyll has helped with that haha

[cathalbravecog]

i'm the antonymph of the internet

[x-adoringvoid-x]

Apparently that's called the 'irresistible force paradox'

[dentist-brainsurgeon]

Long Vent under read more

TLDR: Tired, Lonely, unhappy with living situation

These past 2 and a half years, especially these past six months have really nailed in just how stifled and suffocated I feel, there was a point where living with my aunt and grandma felt good, I felt loved and comfortable for once, I've lived with them for 8 years of my adult life, but the older I get, the more I realized this is just another restrictive household where I have to walk on eggshells. I have to pretend to be Christian, I have to pretend to be cis and straight, have to pretend I don't have mental problems, and when I'm angry, its always chalked up to be my period, and they always treat me like a child, and its getting more and more obvious as the years go by. I don't get to go out much, in the past two years, the only times I was out of the house for days, was when I was in the hospital, and despite the pain I endured there, I felt sad to leave, and I cried when I was given the OK to go back to work, I hated going back to normal. And the other time, very recently, was when I got to hang out with my best friend for a few days, and it was great! I loved it!! But it was so short lived, it was the only time I was comfortable being myself in public. and I hated going back to normal again. I don't really get to partake in hobbies until maybe when my aunt and grandma fall asleep, and even then I'm too tired to do much of anything. My time is never considered, scheduled for my first PT session? Oh family is coming over and they're going to borrow the car, work? Oh we're going to go eat out with a friend at the Cheesecake Factory, final doctors appointment? Oh I'm getting my hair dyed, Hang out with my friend that was planned for months that I made sure they knew about? we're going on a cruise!!! and many such cases, doesn't matter if I tell them, and put it on the calendar. Sure the house they live in is pretty nice and its good to actually have AC, wifi and my own room for the first time in a long time but, I really only get to exist in my room, if I'm lucky, and they're out of town for a few days, I can finally exist in the living room and I actually don't mind cleaning and I'm able to cook! When my grandma and aunt can't criticize every little thing. I wouldn't mind living by myself, with friends, or even the small chance of having decent roommates, I want to be around people I actually like being around, I want to partake in hobbies at any hour of the day, I just want out, I want to be able to live my life

[leatherbookmark]

a friendly reminder that jgy doesn’t “tell nmj that he’s more important than all those people he’s killed”.

nie mingjue asks two questions.

one, “are you saying your life is more valuable than theirs?” (高贵),

and second, “are you saying you’re different from them?” (不同)

to which jin guangyao says, “yes. of course we’re different!”

he doesn’t say, “of course my life is more valuable!”, note.

these are two separate questions, and he only answers the last one that, in my opinion, is the most mindboggling one.

nmj asks a son of a sex worker, reviled, harassed and bullied just for existing, if he’s any different than other people. nie mingjue, who’s SEEN the way he was treated and stepped forward himself to confront those people.

the same nie mingjue who thinks he’s a l w a y s killed people for a reason, and that it’s fair for him to kill, but when jgy kills it’s always cruel, needless spilling of blood. yknow, despite the saber.

this nmj gets so furious at jgy stating that he’s not like other people that he kicks him down the stairs.

🆗🆒👍

[docmerlin]

public perception on illness has shifted so far that people think i'm insane for not wanting to hug them when they're visibly sick but if they see a medical mask in any context they freak the fuck out

[cheriafreya]

the way I would have probably given Wuthering Waves another chance had I got Changli back then (I didn't)