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am-i-the-asshole-official · 10 months ago

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WIBTA if I were to report my ex friend's antisemitism to their university?

So I 20nb have been friends with most my current friend group since we were 11. Two years ago I stopped being friends with a guy in my friend group due to toxic behavior on his part (not antisemitic yet, just giving background info) He would constantly say things like "don't make fun of neurodivergent people's special interests and hyperfixations as they can't help it" and then would go and make fun of my special interests (note: said ex friend has ADHD). Over our friendship he had a lot of double standards like that and one day I had enough. The first time I brought it up he dismissed it as someone else in the friend group did the behaviors I'm accusing him of. I kinda dropped it as I didn't want to deal with that level of denial and thought that if I waited a few days he would have had some time to reflect. So I brought it up again and he continued to blame it being one of our other friends doing it and that I was simply "misremembering". I gave specific examples and rough time frames yet he continued to deny it. All I wanted was a simple "I'm sorry and I will work on that" yet he refused to do that. So I ended our friendship.

Since then we have been on rocky terms. We are still in the same friend group since the issue was between me and him, I didn't want to involve my friends and make people pick sides. He was moving away soon at the time of the end of our friendship so it wasn't like I was going to see him when the friend group all hung our together.

Since we are still in the same friend group, he is in the discord server our friend group has which is just like a massive group chat with things categorized into topics.

Recently there is the current conflict going on in Israel and Palenstine. I am Jewish and vented to the vent section of that discord server about how I have seen people I know irl post online antisemitic things. I am very much against Israels actions and made sure to include that in my vent so no one coukd twist my words. I didn't initially say exactly what I was seeing as I was still processing the fact that I was going to have to cut some people off.

He then replied to my vent saying that he has never seen anything antisemitic online and that if he has, he has seen Jewish people saying that it isnt. I replied that his reply to my vent was weird and that i was talking about people saying that all jews should die. I felt hurt as yet again he was being hypocritical towards me as he has said before that you should say that (what he said) when people complain about seeing hateful things towards a group (eg racism, homophobia, etc).

He then responded that I was only calling him antisemitic because he was arab. The thing is, I never called him antisemitic and I myself am also arab. (Yes I know, most people have never met an arab jew but we do exist).

I pointed out that I never called him antisemitic and I am also arab which he seems to have forgotten. I said that his response was still weird considering what he has said in the past about people who say what he said. I then invited him to dm me privately to discuss things further if he wants to as it's not fair to do this in front of all of our friends.

He did not respond and ended up blocking me on discord.

This irked me quite a bit but in the end I decided that him blocking me was for the better if he stands by his original response. I was talking to my partner about it who is not Jewish and he said that my ex friend's response was definitely weird and the fact that he was so quick to defend himself about being called an antisemite without even being called it was indicative that he probably is. I decided to look at my ex friends tumblr to see if there was anything to suggest that and there was. I saw a few posts which he has recently reblogged which used anti Semitic dog whistles like the echo, example: (((insert text you which doesnt say jew but you are implying jewish people are))).

I was quite appalled to see that and am debating if I should send it to his university. The university he attends has spoken out about antisemitism before and has kicked out people in the past for using racist dog whistles due to a potential danger to POC students so it is likely that he would get kicked out for using antisemitic dog whistles.

In my mind, he fucked around and therefore should find out aka face natural consequences for his actions.

WIBTA if I contacted his University about his antisemitism?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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maxsimagination · 11 months ago

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𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗜 - 𝗹.𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗽

summary: coming out to someone is always diffcicult, but lauren makes it easier.

• part 1 • part 2

-> i do not condone homophobia in any way, shape or form, this is just an imagine and is not reality.

𖦹 masterlist

"𝗛𝗘𝗬 𝗠𝗔, 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗔𝗥𝗘 you?"

it was my weekly call to family that were back in australia.

"honey, i'm good, how are you? how's england?"

i had lived in australia for most of my life before moving across the globe to england to play professional football. i was only 19 when i got picked up by manchester city, the sky blues offering me a 3-year contract that i couldn't turn down. now, four years later, i was still here, still wearing the same sky blue jersey with pride.

"england's good. we've got another game on this week, a home game this time."

my family weren't always super supportive of my choice to be a footballer, but never said anything outright. i still knew of the disapproval, but that didn't stop me from playing.

"that's good, honey. found any guys that you like?"

my ma brushed off the football talk and quickly moved to her favourite topic. she was openly christian, as well as my pa, but she always had something to say.

"no ma, no boys. i've said this."

it was a lost cause from there because my ma was unrelenting in her lecture on how a woman belonged with a man, so on and so forth. i made up an excuse of how i had to go to practice or something just to get out of the call.

i couldn't even count on my fingers the amount of times i've been told that homosexuality is a sin, that's how much she's told me.

——

practice next day was nothing new, gareth had us running the normal drills with some one-touch shooting to finish it off before a break. all the girls were in the shade with the water coolers just chatting when i sidled up. lauren crept up behind me and squirted water on my head to surprise me. i shrieked and turned around to get her back.

we were basically best friends, being attached at the hip all the time and both being starting strikers for man city.

"loz! not cool!"

she cackled at my unimpressed expression and walked back over with a promise of no more water fights. we joined back into the conversation with the others, they were all laughing hysterically at alanna's story of a date she'd gone on with a girl and it hadn't gone to plan. each of the other girls then added in their own wayward date stories.

the little group turned to me and lauren, asking our opinions and stories. lauren was quick to tell her funny moments while i was quiet, thinking.

"what about you, yn? any weird dates?"

the tallest of our group, bunny, broke me out of my thoughts with her question. i looked up, slightly caught off guard, and everyone had turned to look at me. about 5 pairs of eyes bore into me, psyching my brain out and panic rose in my mind.

"i- no. no stories. sorry i've got to go."

the anxiety got the best of me and i turned to run back inside of the changing rooms. in the back of my mind, i knew that i was being irrational and the girls would definitely have questions about my behaviour but that wasn't my priority right now.

all i could focus on was the quickening pace of my breath and the sound of my cleats when they hit the floor. i reached the lockers and sat in my cubby, eyes closed and trying to calm myself down. i was so in my head that i didn't hear the door open or anyone enter the room.

"yn are you okay?" lauren's voice startled me and my eyes popped open.

"i'm fine."

i was apparently too quick to respond to that question when lauren cocked her eyebrow at me.

"ok so maybe i'm not fine."

i mumbled out and lauren moved to sit next to me. she didn't push me to speak, just sat with me until i was comfortable to tell her what was wrong.

"im scared.

everyone was talking about their dating stories, and i thought that i wouldn't be accepted."

most of the team were open about their sexuality and who they went out with, but i was the opposite. being brought up in an environment where the christian way was the only way, i was taught that a woman must be with a man and there was no other option.

"i thought that the girls wouldn't accept me."

"yn we will support you no matter what. i will support you no matter what."

i knew from about the age of seventeen that i was anything but heterosexual. but i struggled to accept that fact in my own mind, which made it extremely hard for me to express that to others. i never talked about the topic, preferring to avoid it altogether.

but right now, lauren sitting next to me waiting for me to really tell her what was going on, i decided fuck it, tell her.

"ithinkilikegirls."

it came out rushed and the words strung together in one sentence that hid the real meaning.

"um, slower please?"

lauren had a smile on her face, but she knew how difficult a topic this was.

"i like girls."

three words that held so much meaning. lauren didn't say anything, she just pulled me into a hug. her hands rubbed up and down my back soothingly. i embraced the hug, tears slowly pricking at my eyes and i let them fall.

"i'm so proud of you."

#woso #woso x reader #woso community #lauren hemp #lauren hemp x reader #lauren hemp imagine

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lowkeyrobin · 4 months ago

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Mike wheeler with a trans bf? It would be weird at first for him, not because the reader is trans or something, maybe because the reader is a man (Mike would consider him a man, btw) and then Mike with his internalized homophobia and that would stop a little bit until he finally accepts himself having a nice relationship with the reader

oooo yesss!! ; thank you for requesting, hope you enjoy!!! ; also sorry that this is so like not great, I tried it's just like idk LMAO I didn't have many ideas where to take it ig?

MIKE WHEELER ; transgender

summary ; Mike's internalized homophobia almost ruins your relationship

warnings ; language, internalized homophobia

disclaimers ; reader uses he/him

word count ; 700

masterlist

Mike loved you, more than anything in the world even. He'd go to Hell and back to protect you, to honor you, he'd let the world burn for you.

But he'd been having some issues after you'd come out to him.

It didn't involve you or your new identity in any way, he still loved you whether you were a boy or a girl, he didn't care.

It was more of issues involving him instead.

He wasn't homophobic, so to say, he didn't have a problem with Will being gay, or you, for that matter. It was more so he had a problem with himself being gay.

He didn't know why he felt so disgusted when he thought of it now, that he was dating a boy. He was making out with a boy. He loved a boy and he was a boy.

After a while, he'd grown distant. He'd make up excuses not to hang out with you, just to avoid the fact that his internalized homophobia for himself was eating him inside out.

"Oh, me and Dustin have D&D tonight"

"I can tag along?"

"It's fine, bye"

"Lucas and I have plans"

"What plans?"

"Plans that were scheduled"

"Max and I have to study for a geometry test"

"Can I come?"

"No"

You'd had enough after he tried canceling on your movie night. You already rented the VHS, you had the snacks ready, you had your whole bedroom set up and then he had to call with some excuse that he was sick. You couldn't even remember the last time you'd seen his face, weeks, maybe a month by now.

"Micheal Wheeler, you get to this fucking house before I find you playing Atari at home with a bunch of chip bags around you."

"Yes, sir"

Safe to say he was biking over to your house ASAP. When Karen saw him walking down the stairs, she asked why he wasn't already at your movie night, which he replied with, "Just running late." Mhm.

You instantly sat him down, his head tilted down, a look of shame on his face. You sit on the bed next to him, reassuring him that there was no anger behind your words, just worry and concern.

"Dude, what's wrong? You've been making excuses for weeks to not hang out with me. Do you wanna break up because I transitioned? You don't have to stay with me if you don't want to, or if you're not gay," you speak, trying to find any thought behind his eyes.

He quickly looks up, an almost hurt look in his eyes. "No, no, I still wanna be with you. It's just, like, it's hard"

"Hard?" You question. "I haven't seen your face in a month, like, literally, you were fine for one then didn't wanna see me for another, Mike"

He looks down at his fidgeting fingers resting in his lap. He looks nearly scared of you, yet more scared of confronting his feelings.

"I don't care that you're a boy, in a sense, I care that I'm a boy. I care that we are boys doing this, and..." He pauses. "I don't know how to accept myself, I think"

Your eyes soften as you pull him into a hug. "I'm sorry"

"Sorry for what?" He asks, a little confused as he shakily rests his hands on your back, having not expected the hug.

"Making you feel like you couldn't come to me to talk-"

"No, no, I promise I would've talked to you! It's just a little hard when you aren't actually the third party, and I didn't really know how to... yknow?"

You nod. "Can we still be together?"

He nods. "I just... need to get used to being gay, I guess" He shrugs, "It's not like, I ever really realized it before now. Like, I promise I see you as a dude, cause you are, it's just-"

"Yeah." You cut off his rambling with an understanding smile and nod. "It's okay, I'm sorry"

"Cool"

"Cool..."

"Wanna watch that movie now?"

"Yeah, why not, you're already here"

"I'm gay," He mutters in a tone of realization and acceptance.

"Welcome to the club, Queerler"

#lowkeyrobin #trans man reader #x trans reader #trans reader #he/him reader #stranger things x reader #mike wheeler x reader #finn wolfhard x reader #stranger things #mike wheeler #mike queerler

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shichey97 · 5 months ago

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Meet Me At Our Spot

Older!Steddie, Mentions of homophobia, mental abuse, and arranged marriage. Death of Uncle Wayne.

Eddie hadn't seen Steve since the younger man turned 21. That was 20 years ago and he hadn't looked back after the guy called him in tears saying they couldn't see each other anymore. Eddie had been hurt and had reacted to the news the only way he new how to. He ran away from Hawkins and Steve. Now he's back in Hawkins for his uncle's funeral and he finds the kids still there and Dustin hands him a polaroid that says "meet me at our spot" on it. That's how he ends up sitting in the bed of his uncle wayne's truck with none other than the man who broke his heart. Neither had said anything for a little bit, but Eddie sighs, "What do you want, Steve? Last I heard you were married with a daughter."

"I was married and I do have a daughter." he confirms, "My father forced me to marry Ashley. He was told about us by a friend who saw us together and he flew home." he looks down at his hands. "He made me break up with you...I didn't want to, but I do want to explain to you why I left. Why I broke your heart."

"Forced you? How'd he force you to do anything when I told you we could leave." Eddie asks pulling off his tie and setting it beside him.He was exhausted and just wanted peace and quiet. He doesn't even know why he showed up here in the first place. He chose to ignore the voice that said it's cause he missed Steve.

"He would hit me when he thought I was doing something to disgrace the Harrington name. Which was most of the time. He found out about us and he hit and hit and hit and it didn't stop until I agreed to break up with you. Eddie...I never wanted to leave you. I love you why would I leave unless I had to?" he asks looking at him. "We could've ran away. I told you I wanted out of here. I would've had no problem leaving here." He mutters and watches the ground. He could feel Steve staring at him. Drinking in the 43 years he had on him. The slightly greying hair at his temples, the still messy curls that were down past his shoulders now. He had a gene in his family that made them go grey prematurely so that's what he was dealing with.

"He threatened to hurt you guys too, Eddie." Steve says shaking his head, "I wouldn't do that to you and Wayne...I tried to find you, but Wayne said he didn't know where you were so I dropped it." he says softly.

"I could've taken care of myself, Steve." He sighs. "I appreciate you explaining yourself to me. I...hope you're happy in life, Stevie." He says softly as he looks at his shoes and sighs. He feels an overwhelming sense of loss. More than he should for an uncle. Maybe he should've called more of came home to visit. He felt guilty that he hadn't seen Wayne as much as he should have and now this, knowing why Steve broke up with him, made it worse.

"I am. Alexis is going to college soon, I'm by myself again, life is...good." he says softly though his tone said he wanted to say something else, but chose not to.

"Sounds...empty now." Eddie says still looking down at the ground. He couldn't bring himself to look at Steve right then. He just couldn't look at him because if he did he'd lose the tight grip on the ache in his chest.

"Yeah...It's been empty for 20 years though." he says softly looking up at the sky, "I'm really sorry about Wayne." "It's not your fault. He lived a good life..he was happy." he says as leans back on his hand to pull a cigarette out of the pocket of the suit he wore. Something he only wore on sad occasions. He wouldn't wear a suit to happy occasions because of it.

"I know. He was there for Alexis and me after Ashley took off." he says softly and sighed. "Eddie I..." he starts before he sighs. "I want another chance to love you. If you can't I understand, but please give me one chance." he says looking at him again. Eddie bristled under the weight of his eyes and hangs his head, "Steve...I'm only here for week." he says quietly.

"Let me take you out for dinner in that weer. Just once and if there's no spark then I'll let you go again." He says looking at him. Eddie finally looks at him and searches his face before he nods, "ok. One date." he agrees and has to fight back a smile when Steve smiles really wide and hugs him. He gets a one armed hug back before Eddie is pulling away. He wants to say he knows the spark is gone, but the hug felt like coming home so there's no way it was.

Both men were hopeful for their future

#eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #steddie #corroded coffin

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ask-nijiro-nanase · 1 month ago

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IMPORTANT MOD POST

TW: mentions of scu/cide, de/th threats, light homophobia, hate talk and generally harsh language and themes please read at your own discretion (this was hastily put together because I have work in like ten minutes please ignore spelling errors im stressed)

So this happened i guess, these are screenshots i took from the past few days of hate asks i have been receiving for the past week and a notification screenshot i got from around when i started receiving these, and a photo of an ask i got that I had sent to a friend joking about this person consistency of sending me a hate comment several times a day, every day. I made a strict rule for myself that id just delete hate asks and not let them bother me and I have been, at the start i simply deleted these asks and hoped this person (who i assume is the same person repeatedly sending in these using the anon feature) would get bored and leave me alone, which obviously they didn't /: i feel pretty crappy since i kept telling myself that i was just going to ignore and delete these anon asks over and over again but here i am, not ignoring them breaking my own rule, it's only been around five days of this which seems kinda pathetic ig at least it feels pathetic that i couldnt just ignore this person but i have been getting around anywhere from one to six asks a day like this depending on the day, when this first started i was getting a lot of them which I just deleted but as time has went on the asks have reduced to two or three a day but it hasnt stopped completely

over the time I have actually been receiving this I quickly noticed that these are baseless comments, something you could say to hate on pretty much anyone with a roleplay blog. There were no specifics, and also I don't use tumblr ver often so it's not like i really interact with people on here outside this blog, this person does not know me and I certainly don't know them i've kinda been stewing with my thoughts and overthinking on why I started receiving hat and maybe this is completely out there and a wild guess but this person could want attention on them, even if their anon they know that this post I'm making right now, is about them, or they might just want to start shit, honestly I could be completely off and maybe this person had some weird personal motive what do i know at this point???

with the time I've been giving myself thinking about this I have just gotten really in my head and I was very worried that maybe making a post and acknowledging this anon would almost be encouraging the behaviour? and kinda the only reason I'm actually talking about this now is because I'm going to be taking a small break, I am okay ofc, just think a small break would be good for me but this means I probably wont even be checking my ask box or really responding to any messages, comments, reblogs, I'm just going to step back for a little while and focus on other things in my life that need my attention Touching on a few topics from the last time this was an issue with a different blog, the character and I are minors, you're threatening a CHILD even if I wasn't under 18 these are still just horrible things to say to someone and I really really don't want this to be a common thing or a consistent issue because I like doing this, it's fun and I enjoy talking to people on here, anon or not, I'm sure a lot of the other people who have rp blogs do as well and people like this shouldn't ruin that for them, let people do what they want to do on here it isn't disrupting or hurting anything. I'm honestly just dumbfounded I guess to why this even happening? I don't thing I've done anything 'disgusting' 'gross' or otherwise wrong, i really don't want to turn anon off because I love talking to the really nice people who interact with me on anon and I don't want to ruin it for those incredibly kind people because of one person making some nasty comments

If the person who sent me those asks is reading this, please please know that this isn't the right way to get attention or feel better about anything, in general it does nothing good of any sort, it genuinely can hurt people and if you're doing it because you actually feel that way about roleplay blogs, just block those blogs it's really not that hard. Sending in hateful messages like that doesn't give you any sort of good attention, this is something serious and horrible to do and I pity you because something must have brought you to think this is just okay? normal? It's not it's pathetic and I hope that one day you can understand how much your words could affect the people around you. personally i like to think I'm not someone who can be super effected by words, especially online since I know people will be a lot harsher when hiding behind a screen, but to think you could've said this to someone who was genuinely really struggling with their mental health and could've taken your comments to heart is sickening, please reflect on yourself because this behaviour is not only childish but cruel.

and to anyone that sent in asks recently I'm super sorry I haven't been able to reply, I have a lot on my plate right now, super busy not only with mid-semester tests and projects coming up due but I have work on top of that and I really haven't found time to answer them, I quickly just wrote up this post so there are probably spelling errors but I'm way too burnt out to fix them right now have a good day and take care of yourself everyone I don't know when I plan on revisiting this blog but I shouldn't be away for too long, promise also sorry if this whole post is just me kind of rambling I just feel kinda lost and I don't even really know how to go about this, ive never done a rp blog before and i have never received hate on any of my blogs before i have no idea what im even doing at this point

#bllk rp #mod speaks:

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uh-velkommen · 1 month ago

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More Trans thoughts:

I think if I had been born male, I would've been a big sports bro. Even now I love being active but I can never find a space that allows me to be aggressive and sweaty without getting made fun of or told that I can't participate because I'm a girl. I used to hate gym class because the boys would be so mean when they had to play with a girl, but I never felt like I fit in that "dainty girl sucks at sports" category. So, I would intentionally give nothing at whatever we were doing because it was expected of me. But inside, I wanted to play with boys the way other boys did.

-----

Sometimes when I think about starting T, the most exciting part to me are voice cracks. The pitch and sound of my own voice has been a massive insecurity all my life and I think having other people laugh at my voice cracks would be so affirming, like I'm truly one of the boys simply going through puberty.

The men on my dad's side aren't really blessed with facial hair which is good imo because I hate the sound of shaving a beard and I haaaaaate mustaches so I worry about growing facial hair though.

-----

I thought internalized homophobia was a tough thing to battle but internalized transphobia is like next level. Sometimes I worry about fitting the stereotype of being Autistic AND Queer and what that means in the validity of my identity.

Every now and then, I get intrusive thoughts like, "What if the conservative right was right the whole time and queer culture brain washed me into being trans!" Trust me, I'm well aware of how stupid it sounds, and that's why it's intrusive. Me being 12 and falling into a research hole about Trans identities was obviously due to me having some deep instinctive connection, not because I was grooming myself to be trans??? Other times, I fear that Im not trans and it's actually just internalized misogyny, a hatred of the way the world has treated me and the idea that life would be easier if I just became a boy. As if it was a get out of jail free card. "Simply become a man and you'd get treated better!"

Nobody is transitioning, risking family, friendships, their lives, altering their bodies, and stepping out of everything they knew, for the sake of stopping catcalls and male bulldozing. Having this distain for the way women are viewed and treated under a patriarchal society doesn't explain away the immense dysphoria I have always felt. I'm saying this to emphasize that these are intrusive thoughts due to internalized transphobia and I AM able to rationalize them. I would also never project these thoughts onto other Trans people, so why would/should I believe them for myself...

-----

I watched one youtube video that suggested I keep a gender journal, and I think that's what I'm doing here. I'd rather do it here because I've spent all my life keeping these thoughts in my head. I don't want to keep them in a private journal, I want to share them with the world. I'm not worried about "being found out" by people I know irl. If anything, I'd want them to understand the way I've felt internalizing all this. I think I can compare my dysphoria and the whole "trying to ignore it" thing to the feeling one gets when they can't remember if they've turned off the stove before leaving the house. The whole time, you know the answer, but your brain remains in panic mode because if you did leave it on (if I am actually trans), you risk destroying your home (changing your whole life). If you try to ignore it, you still worry. If you acknowledge it, you worry even more. If only you could just check (if only I could dabble in gender affirming activities), then maybe you'd feel okay. But simply opening your ring camera (getting a haircut or putting on a binder) isn't enough. You have to go all the way. Though, that would require you to turn around and go all the way home (face my fears). In the end, it's easier to just turn a blind eye, all the while that flame is devouring everything you once held dear.

#trans #lgbt #trans masc #transman #transmasc #trans man

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transmascpetewentz · 1 year ago

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if you had to spend even one day as an actual homosexual male in my country, you'd fucking kill yourself out of despair.

i am so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED of evil anglo westerners like you treating homosexuality like an aesthetic! we are not your constume! stop appropriating us!

i'm ANGRY because i experience homophobia every single day despite the fact that i hide who i am from the rest of my society, and then i go on the internet thinking it's the one place i can openly be myself... and what do i see?

gay male spaces being OVERRUN with BIOLOGICAL FEMALES who live under the DELUSION that they are homosexual males! and i fucking slam my laptop shut in anger! i'm fucking sick of you people!

WE CAN'T EVEN HAVE A SINGLE SPACE FOR OURSELVES ONLINE.

you have no idea what it's like to be an actual gay man!

you have no idea what it's like to laughed at, taunted, called "faggot" as you walk through your school hallways.

you have no idea what it's like to be excluded and socially ostracized by the majority of your male peers because they view you as inherently dirty and disgusting.

you have no idea of the PAIN you feel when your first highschool crush — the one boy who isn't repulsed by you and enjoys your company — ends up being a straight boy who never saw you as anything more than a "buddy" and abandons you the second he gets a girlfriend.

you have no idea what it's like to live a LIE, to conceal who you really are, to lie and say you're straight when someone questions you for your own safety, despite the fact that hiding you true self only makes you even more miserable and eats away at you every single day.

you have no idea what it's like to wallow in a puddle of your own misery and loneliness, knowing you are going to die alone & unloved due to the miserable circumstances of your own society.

you haven't SUFFERED nearly enough to be able to understand what being a homosexual male is truly like.

you have never experienced any of these things, because you are not homosexual males, yet you still have the loudest voices in online gay male communities.

it's not fair!

why should you get to be happy and enjoy LARPing as a gay man despite being female, while i have to suffer every single day? you don't deserve it.

and, yes, i know you people not my main oppressors. i DESPISE heterosexual males a lot more than i despise you, don't worry. you're not the ones killing us, but i am still irritated with the erasure of digital male homosexual spaces, as well as the transing of male fictional characters, because those two are the only coping mechanisms i have to distract me from my awful reality — and you people have taken that away from me too.

you might argue that i'm mean or hateful or a bad person because of the way i talk, but can you really blame me? the world left me no choice but to be full of HATE and BITTERNESS.

i am extremely disappointed in, mad at and saddened by your community & how you spiritually degrade, humiliate, disrespect and erase real homosexual males.

your blog is a mockery of us. that's all.

This anon is really funny, because even if I didn't experience homophobia, you act like transphobia doesn't exist. There's a lot to unpack here, so I'll respond under the cut.

if you had to spend even one day as an actual homosexual male in my country, you'd fucking kill yourself out of despair.

The suicide rate of trans people in my country (USAmerica) is 50% lmfao. While I'm currently in an okay place mentally, the same can't be said for most others in situations similar to mine. I try to use the mental energy that I do have to do activism that will help me and others like me.

i am so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED of evil anglo westerners like you treating homosexuality like an aesthetic! we are not your constume! stop appropriating us!

Trans men exist in non-western countries. The reason that you don't know of us is because it is literally too dangerous for us to come out in countries that do not accept us. The only reason I'm even out to a few people is because my gender nonconformity was obvious before I even realized I was trans, so being visibly trans wouldn't change much in terms of how I'm treated. I also lived in a country where being gay and/or trans is illegal before I moved to USAmerica, and I was targeted there for my gender nonconformity even though I didn't know I was trans whilst living there. Even though I live in USAmerica now, I'm not divorced from the reality of what it's like to be queer in a country where things are worse.

I, too, experience homophobia every single day, even though I try to hide my homosexuality. Being AFAB doesn't exempt you from experiencing homophobia. Instead, I get to hear what cishets say when they think no gays are in the room. People like me are treated as jokes and predators at the same time.

gay male spaces being OVERRUN with BIOLOGICAL FEMALES who live under the DELUSION that they are homosexual males! and i fucking slam my laptop shut in anger! i'm fucking sick of you people!

Actually, most gay male spaces are hostile to trans men, which has caused us to form our own spaces. If you go to our spaces and then get mad that you see trans men, cry about it. Also, the use of "you people" is so telling. Don't the people in your country refer to gays as "you people" or similar? So don't do the same to trans people.

you have no idea what it's like to be an actual gay man! you have no idea what it's like to laughed at, taunted, called "faggot" as you walk through your school hallways. you have no idea what it's like to be excluded and socially ostracized by the majority of your male peers because they view you as inherently dirty and disgusting. you have no idea of the PAIN you feel when your first highschool crush — the one boy who isn't repulsed by you and enjoys your company — ends up being a straight boy who never saw you as anything more than a "buddy" and abandons you the second he gets a girlfriend.

Actually, yes I do know what that is like! I've had those things fucking happen to me! Except for me, it's not just homophobia, it is transandrophobia as well. People see me as a predator and potential rapist any time I try to express any attraction to men. Why are cis people trying to educate trans people on what it's like to be socially ostracized? Lol. Lmao even.

...are you fucking serious right now. You, cis person, have no idea what it's like to actually live a lie, to lie and say you're a woman and dress like a woman for your safety even though it makes you even more miserable and eats away at you every single day! I understand that cis gays face homophobia but are you fucking serious right now? I really hope that you're joking.

you have no idea what it's like to wallow in a puddle of your own misery and loneliness, knowing you are going to die alone & unloved due to the miserable circumstances of your own society.

Actually yes I do because I am a transsexual man. Except due to being raised as a girl, I have been taught to accept dehumanization from cis men and women alike. I had to spend years unlearning the misogyny I was raised to accept, and I still have a lot more work to do. The thing is, if I was to say something like the statement above to someone, I would be called an "edgy teenage girl faking depression for attention" because you have to be a cis man for your problems to be taken seriously.

you haven't SUFFERED nearly enough to be able to understand what being a homosexual male is truly like.

The only requirements of being a homosexual male is to identify as male and be homosexual. That's it. There isn't a required amount of suffering that you must go through to receive your gay man card, and even if there was, every gay trans man has suffered far more than whatever the requirement is.

you have never experienced any of these things, because you are not homosexual males, yet you still have the loudest voices in online gay male communities.

Actually we have experienced these things, because we are homosexual males, and we face transandrophobia as well as homophobia. We also do not have the loudest voices in online gay male communities. If you're a user on this side of Tumblr, you are either invading transmasc spaces and acting like they are the entire community, or you are in an echo chamber that tells you that we are the loudest in the community.

why should you get to be happy and enjoy LARPing as a gay man despite being female, while i have to suffer every single day? you don't deserve it.

What is it about my blog that makes you think I enjoy being transsexual? I constantly talk about how awful people are to me, how my sexuality and gender are constantly targeted by others, and how all of these problems are systemic. I do not enjoy facing systemic oppression on the basis of my gender and sexuality.

Guess what—you, as a cis man, are perfectly able to relate to trans male characters. If a character being trans makes you unable to relate to them anymore, maybe you should examine what makes you believe that you are so different from trans men. Maybe it's because you don't see us as human.

you might argue that i'm mean or hateful or a bad person because of the way i talk, but can you really blame me? the world left me no choice but to be full of HATE and BITTERNESS.

You are not a transphobe because you face homophobia. You facing homophobia was not what convinced you that trans men aren't people. You are using your experiences with homophobia as an excuse to be transandrophobic while the root of your bigotry is actually a form of systemic oppression just like homophobia, except one where you are part of the oppressor class.

i am extremely disappointed in, mad at and saddened by your community & how you spiritually degrade, humiliate, disrespect and erase real homosexual males.

And I am disappointed in how your community excludes, ostracizes, fetishizes, and disrespects transsexual men. Except y'all are way louder about the issue of us existing than we are about the regular dehumanization that we face from y'all.

your blog is a mockery of us. that's all.

Cry about it.

#asks #anon hate #transandrophobia #long post

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glittter-vamp · 1 year ago

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CHAPTER 9

Joe Burrow x Bisexual OC.

Warnings: 18+MDNI. Mention Of Death & Grief. Emotional Intimacy pretty much at 100 and smut-ish themes. Homophobia. Angsty yet Fluffy. Pretty heavy chapter overall.

Word Count: 3.4k

"Thank you for shopping with us, have a great day!" Val smiles at a customer that was in the store while handing them their shopping bag. It was Sunday which she usually didn't come in for but Elsa had went a little too hard at the Pride parade the day prior and Dani was off. So, it was just her and Kade in the store today making things happen.

"Almost time to close, what a weekend!" Kade sighs moving a box of hangers.

"It was pretty crazy, I guess since we closed yesterday for the parade people came today instead." Val says organizing a rack of shirts.

"I'm so glad I'm off for the next two days, I'm drinking a whole bottle of wine by myself tonight to destress." Kade lets out a breath.

"You and me both." Val smiles. Them two make it through the last work hour with only one other customer coming in. Cleaning up quickly, they make it out of the store by 4:50 and in their cars to go home. Since it was Sunday evening the traffic wasn't so bad but living in a city meant it was still there regardless. As Val drove home she got a call from Joe. She had talked to him here and there, all through text after that argument they had.

"Hello?" Val answers on the car Bluetooth.

"Hey...are you out of work?" Joe asks.

"I am. Why?" Val asks wondering why.

"Would you mind stopping by the house today? Something came for you at the house." Joe says sounding just as confused as she was hearing that.

"Uh, what do you mean something came for me...to your house? I've never your given address for anything to anyone." Val questions.

"I'm just confused as you about it are but it's addressed to you, it's a letter." He says.

"Does it seems like junk mail or something? That's so weird..." She asks as she drives.

"No, it's hand written from within the state. Say's its from someone named Sabrina Farley." Joe responds back, Val's heart dropping hearing that.

"Are you sure!?" Val asks trying to remain her cool.

"That's what it says, I can drop it off during the week if you're busy--

"No, I'll come get it now. I'm in the car driving anyway." Val says.

"Alright, you can let your self in. I have to rest up my leg. My knee has been feeling weird." Joe says.

"Do you need anything?" Val asks.

"Nah I'm good, but thanks. I appreciate that." Joe yawns. They hang up soon after and Val makes her way to Joe's.

***************************************

Pulling up to his house she parks in the driveway and lets her self in like he told her too. She could hear the tv, Joe was of course was watching some alien documentary like usual. Walking to the living room she see's Joe laying on his couch icing his knee.

"So, what'd you do to your knee?" Val speaks up startling Joe and making her laugh.

"I didn't hear you come in... but I think I went to hard in the gym yesterday." He shrugs looking at his leg,

"Better chill before everyone gets on your ass or you injure yourself again." Val shakes her head.

"I know..." Joe sighs.

"So about the letter?" Val asks awkwardly.

"Oh yeah, here!" Joe reaches over and grabs the letter that was sitting beside the remote.

"Here you go, I didn't open it or anything." He says handing her the white envelope. Val reads the name and she starts to feel uneasy about it.

"I really have no idea how this person got your address. I'm real sorry this came here, that's super invasive." Val bites her lip looking at Joe.

"It's alright. Do you know who that person is though?" Joe asks and she nods yes.

"My older sister. Since I cut off contact from the family , they haven't had my number or address except for the twins who I actually haven't heard from in months." Val shakes her head.

"Do you think it's something serious?" Joe asks sitting up, intrigued by what that letter held.

"Must be if they sent it to your house and not mine, my store or any of my other friends houses." Val says ripping the letter open.

Val starts reading the letter which was starting off first by apologizing being sent to Joe's house but that they couldn't find her address anywhere online and was scared that if it got sent to the store it would end up in someone else's business mailbox instead. Which Val found very weird but she continued reading. As she read the next line her heart sunk and felt her eyes water.

"I hate to inform you that dad has been involved in a car accident two weeks prior from when I'm writing this. He doesn't seem to be progressing at all, therefore mom is going to make the hard decision to take him off life support tomorrow. Though, we felt the need to tell you, we ask that you do not come to the funereal nor contact any of us. We've seen you in the tabloids and still don't approve of your life choices and out of respect to god, the church, the family and most importantly dad it's best if you don't come. We don't need any shameful people around us during this hard time or someone to take the attention away from dad."

"Val...Hey, Hey...what's going on? Breathe." Joe says to her as he runs up to her and catches her as she falls to her knees at the news she just read. Val lets out a sob as Joe tries to console her and get her seated on the couch. Not being able to barely breathe let alone talk, she hands the letter to Joe and he reads it keeping one hand on Val and rubbing her back as she cries.

"I'm so sorry Val. This is isn't the way they should've told you." Joe says hugging her tight and kiss her head as she cries.

"I probably already missed his funeral since this was sent a week ago. Why would they do that?" She sniffles shaking her head.

"If you did, that's entirely their fault. They know what they were doing sending this letter, they could of called, sent this to your actual house or business or even gone to your store in person...instead they sent it to my house not even knowing if it would get to you two weeks after your fathers accident in which they didn't contact you. This was malicious on their part, you did nothing wrong." Joe says feeling nothing but anger over this situation for Val. He couldn't believe they would treat her this way but it became clear why Val separated herself from them.

"I-I should go home. I'm sorry for breaking down like this here. I should of opened that letter at home or something." Val says quickly getting up and wiping her tears, desperately trying to get herself together.

"What?! No--Val, you're not driving while you're emotions are hitting you like this. You're still processing this." Joe says shaking his head and Val sighs.

"I just know things aren't okay between us and going through this here--

"That's not important right now, what's important is that you stay here and not get behind the wheel while you're crying. I'm going to get you water, please just stay here and take a breath." Joe says sitting her down again and she just nods beginning to cry again. Val didn't couldn't believe that letter. Still processing everything from her fathers accident to him being taken off life support to her family asking her not to come to the funeral because of who she was was just something she couldn't believe but hurt like hell. It proved that she was yet not healed from her past with her family.

"Here." Joe says coming back with a water bottle. Val takes it and takes a few sips.

"Is there anything I can do?" Joe asks sitting next to her.

"Get me a time machine so I could tell my parents not to have me and spare everyone the disappointment that I am." Val sighs wiping her tears.

"Don't say that. Just because they have a problem with who you are doesn't mean you don't have people around you that love and support you. Plus, you've basically built your own family, you have the girls, Mateo, Kade and Elsa...Me and my family." Joe says hesitating on that last part.

"I don't even know how your family views me right now so I wouldn't count them in there." Val shakes her head.

" They haven't said anything to me about it so...well my mom obviously asked about what was going on cause she knows we're together but she didn't comment on anything else. My dad is never one to get into my personal relationships so..." Joe shakes his head.

"Still doesn't mean anything." Val mutters.

"Why don't I draw you a nice bath? I'll go pick up some food in the meantime while you soak." Joe says patting her knee.

"You don't have to do that." Val shakes her head.

"You need it, c'mon." Joe slowly pulls Val off the couch and they make their way upstairs letting the letter on the couch.

"You still have clothes in your drawer, I haven't touched them." Joe says softly as they enter his room.

"Thanks." Val sniffles heading over to where she always kept her clothes.

Joe headed to the bathroom and filled up the tub for her while she chose some clothes. Her mind was having a million different thoughts about what's happened. Though she was heartbroken over the news of her dad she was also incredibly angry at how it was handled. She couldn't stand the way her family has treated her since she came out in college. Val makes her way to the bathroom where Joe was making sure the water was a perfect temperature and the tub was getting filled up.

"You can get in while it fills it takes a bit, did you need anything else? I haven't restocked on your wine but I can get you something else..." Joe asks as Val set her clothes down on the counter.

"I think this moment calls for one of your vodka tonics." Val smiles.

"Woah...I haven't heard those words since you opened up Pixies." Joe says making her chuckle.

"I know it's a dangerous thing to say but I really need it." Val sighs.

"You're wish is my command." Joe smiles leaving the bathroom. Val undresses and realizes she still has the markings from Summer on her body. Shaking her head and setting that aside she steps into the warm bath that smelled like lavender. Val feels herself relax into the semi filled tub and soon enough Joe comes back with her drink.

"Here." Joe smiles handing her the drink.

"Thanks." She smiles back taking a sip of the ridiculously strong drink.

"Jeez, did you put any club soda in that?" Val shudders as the liquor runs through her body and sort of gives her a shock.

"You knew what you were asking for. I put a lot of ice so just let it water down a bit." Joe says squatting down to her level and turning the water off for her. There wasn't many bubbles in the tub so Val saw Joe's eyes lingering on her body thought the soapy water.

"What did you want to eat?" Joe asks clearing his throat.

"It's Sunday evening so everything closes pretty early...whatever is open is fine. No healthy stuff though, I need good savory comfort food."

"I'll be back, call me if anything. Make yourself at home." Joe says giving Val a gentle kiss on the head before leaving. It felt nice for Val to have Joe there for her. This was one of the things she couldn't complain about when it came to him. He was always there for Val when she needed him the most with no questions asked. Relaxing in the hot bath and downing the drink she eventually gets out and takes a quick shower being one of those people that can't just take a bath first.

After her shower, drying off and draining the tub, she gets dressed and heads downstairs taking the glass that was now empty. As she washed her cup, Joe comes in with the bags of food.

"So I got us sushi, and I stopped to get us ice cream. Hope that's okay!" Joe says smiling at Val.

"That sounds really great. Thank you." Val smiles back.

"We can put on a movie or whatever you want." Joe says setting the bags down to put the ice cream in the freezer.

"Sure." Val nods. She grabs water for them both from the fridge and make their way to the living room.

"So, what do you want to watch?" Joe asks after they settle on the couch with the food.

"Um, something funny I guess." she shrugs taking a bite of the spicy shrimp tempura roll. Joe turns on Superbad.

"I saw that you went the pride parade, how was that?" Joe asks failing miserably to use his chopsticks like usual making val laugh.

"It was fun. Everyone had a goodtime." Val nods.

"I saw that Summer went...you guys were posting on instagram" Joe says. Val knew she was going hear something about about her come from Joe eventually.

"She was." Val says nods eyeing Joe. The last thing she wanted right now was to get in an argument with Joe about Summer again after what she just learned. Her emotions were way to high right now for that and she knew it.

"Is she...at least making you happy?" He asks softly and Val sighs.

"Joe, I really don't need this right now." Val rolls her eyes.

"I'm not mad or trying to start anything. I just want to know she's at least treating you right given your history with her and having your own complaints with me" Joe says, he seemed genuine.

"We only messed around once after that fight we had, we're not dating though and she's been fine to me. No drama. There, happy?" Val answers truthfully.

"Very." Joe smirks which annoyed Val.

"How about you? Any girls you've brought back here and shown them what a night with America's QB heartthrob is like?" Val asks trying to annoy him.

"Nope. Those nights are reserved for you." Joe smirks.

"and Sofia the baddie ig model." Val nods popping another piece of sushi into her mouth pretending she didn't see Joe's annoyed face when she said that.

"Okay...maybe I see how asking about Summer and throwing her in your face could be annoying." Joe says making Val snort.

"But, since we're on the topic of girls and I still have my list of questions of you..." Joe trails off, Val sighing preparing for what's about to come out of his mouth next.

"Is it true that you guys can last for hours during sex? How is that even possible? How come you don't last with me that long?" Joe asks making Val almost choke on her food.

"We technically can...but it's courtesy of the strap and we take breaks and then go back and forth through the night until we can't anymore and...I have no problem lasting that long but you on the other hand..." Val sips her drink and Joe looks in complete shock.

"If that's the case...why the hell are you dating men? Let alone me." Joe mutters that last part.

"Because that's how bisexuality works, I like all genders...and what do you mean let alone you? You're the only guy I've been with that actually gives a fuck about getting me off every time we have sex." Val snorts.

"Do you have one?" Joe asks as he eats.

"A what?" She asks confused.

"A...strap or whatever it is you guys call it." Joe clears his throat which made Val laugh at his awkwardness.

"I think... I have my harness somewhere at my condo, as for the toy itself...I have to get a new one." Val nods.

"I saw that they had strapless ones." Joe nods and Val does a double take towards him hearing that.

"Have you...been researching lesbian stuff!?" Val says rather loudly and clearly embarrassing Joe seeing his face turn a light shade of pink.

"And by researching I know it's just porn." Val teases him.

"No. I've actually been on educational websites for your information. I was wondering about the stereotypes. " Joe defends himself. Val thought it was actually very cute that Joe was educating himself about stuff. Most men would just ask when the threesome was happening and call it day.

"Can I ask if you have a preference? Like do you prefer having sex with women or more with men?" Joe asks.

"Overall, I say that I wouldn't. But there's certain things that I appreciate about both that's different." Val admits.

"Like what?"

"Well with girls I like the softness of it, the foreplay is usually on another level and the after care is really nice too. Plus there's a different sense of comfortability with women knowing they have the same parts as I do and know how are bodies are naturally. Also it's a plus that they're more on top of stuff like their status and there's no risk of pregnancy. " Val says and Joe nods.

"And with men?" Joe asks seeming to be nervous to ask about it.

"Well, my prior experiences with men were all college guys so I'm not gonna go there but with you specifically... I like how strong you are with me and assertive you are. Also getting to actually...feel you inside me is something I can only experience with women to a certain extent. Plus moans from any gender are hot but the list goes on for both, I just like what I like. There's really no competition here, we at least between you and any other woman because I've heard of plenty hook up stories from Gen with guys" Val shrugs making Joe chuckle.

"Thank you for talking to me about this stuff...I know it's weird of me to ask this stuff." Joe says sheepishly.

"Like I said before, if it's in good faith and you're being genuine...I don't have anything to hide. I appreciate you being respectful about it and not with stereotypical things like other guys would probably do." Val smiles.

They both finish their meal and start paying attention to the movie that was already a good chunk through it. They eat their ice creams after finishing the dinner, Val still thinking of her dad and family, still figuring out how to navigate this situation from here.

"You can take my room... I'll sleep in the guest room. Give you some space." Joe says as they clean up the mess of food in the living room and take it to the trash in the kitchen.

"Oh you don't have to." Val shakes her head.

"It's not up for discussion, I'll finish up here. You should go get some rest." Joe smiles and Val just nods. Even though it wasn't even 9PM yet, she did feel exhausted after the news she had received today.

"Thanks, I'll uh see you in the morning...goodnight." Val says giving Joe a small smile which eh returns.

"Goodnight."

Val head upstairs grabbing her phone and goes into Joe's room. She uses the bathroom quickly and gets into the comfortable bed when there was a small knock on the door as it opened.

"Thought you'd like some water." Joe says bringing her a water bottle and setting it on the nightstand. Val thanks him and he goes to leave when she grabs his hand and stops him in his tracks.

"Stay...please." She says softly and Joe gives her a look of sadness and pity before he gently nods.

"Let me just turn off the hall light." He says squeezing her hand. Val nods letting go of him. Coming back into the room, Joe this time around doesn't say anything about Val being on his side of the bed and just turns off the light and gets in bed next to her. Val cuddles up to him inhaling his familiar comforting scent that she loved so much and Joe places a few kisses on her head as he slowly and gently rubs her back as she lets sleep take over, feeling fully comforted and cared for by the person who has her heart.

A/N: That was heavy chapter! But BF Joe showed up 👀

#joe burrow imagine #joe burrow fanfiction #joe burrow fic #joe burrow fan fic #joe burrow x oc #joe burrow series #joe burrow angst #joe burrow oneshot

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anarchopookie · 1 month ago

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TRIGGER WARNINGS: Internalized transphobia, transphobia, bullying, homophobia, puberty.

One thing that isn't talked about enough, or at least that I don't see being talked about enough since I'm still in the process of building my intersectional community from scratch, is that bioessentialism, and in more specific the idea that Men™ have inherently "evil" traits, is an inherently patriarchal belief used to coerce young people, and in particular young AMAB people, to adopt those very traits. I'll use my personal experience as a baby transfem who has been put through the toxic masculinity grinder as an example.

When I was a child I had the paradoxical experience of being perceived as feminine at first and then as a man. People would stop my mother on the streets since I was an infant, complimenting me, saying "what a pretty girl!". Then my mother, as a clock, would reply "Thanks!, but HE is a boy". This would continue until my puberty. I had both the privilege of being perceived as non-threatening by my girl peers and at the same time not having to adhere to the misogynistic social norms that they were subjected to. Still, most of the time, when I was clocked as AMAB, adults would immediately change their attitude towards me - as an example, I was no longer pretty. This was outside - when I returned home, I would be only perceived as a man, with all the specific upbringing that comes as a consequence. Indirectly, and not consciously, my parents, through their neglect, would incentivize traits of toxic masculinity, in particular - rage, attraction to violence, and performative disgust at things that were perceived as inherently feminine (me included). At a young age it was instilled in me that I would become a man - a man like my father - and that there was no choice, no escape, and that I couldn't become anything else. The more I grew up, the more I would internalize this. I didn't feel like a man, but my duty was to perform as one, and so I did. I would hate the color pink (but my biggest desire throughout my childhood was a specific pink toy kitchen that my parents denied me), I would try to appear tough (even though deep down I only desired emotional intimacy), I would be psychologically (and sometimes physically) violent towards other boys that didn't uphold the masculine ideal, even though I was to myself the main example of someone who failed to uphold it. I would imitate my father and scoff and deride every category of people that I could without consequences, even if a lot of those traits applied to me and my mother; the latter I would try to defend privately, not realizing that I too upholded that behavior. This would lead to a particularly abhorrent bullying I subjected one of my elementary school classmates to. I will admit that I traumatized that kid, a thing I will never forgive myself for, nor will he. I bullied him because he liked pink, because he was perceived as gay (I'm pansexual, by the way), because he was KIND and SOFT and GENTLE. I hated him, and recently I realized that I hated him because I was deeply envious. His mother accepted him the way he was. Bullying him was a way to uphold the patriarchal ideas of masculinity, to release my envy and at the same time to avoid the same mistreatment by others. Deep down I knew that if I didn't strike first - and show everyone that I striked - then I would be the one preyed upon. More importantly, I didn't question it for one second because I felt that there was no other choice - it was my societal duty as a man to do it, that's what was expected of me. Allegorically mutilating him was a way to mutilate myself. Every piece of him I took was also a piece of myself.

I didn't have a stereotypically trans girly childhood. I never played with girly toys, never wore girly clothes, never chose girl characters when playing video games, etc... Of course I wanted to do all of that, I wanted to frequent spaces for girls, I wanted to be perceived as a girl, but that wouldn't even register as an option in my head. When I do all of those things now, in the middle of the night, I still feel wrong, like I'm not supposed to do it.

Even in the spaces that could have saved me, before I could do it myself, I was partly shunned because I was perceived as a man. My girl friends would enforce on me the same expectations as on my boy peers. The very feminist-light spaces that I rarely saw would still agree that AMAB people are destined to be violent, they wouldn't talk about transfemmes, and when they did, they would agree that trans people are still, deep down, their gender assigned at birth.

Then puberty hit me like a train. I watched my body slowly transform into something I did not recognise as myself. I started dissociating. I didn't have the benefit of the doubt anymore, now people immediately assumed that I was a man and treated me as such. I became more angry, because I felt that now I was on the path of no return. If before being a man was a distant destiny that I was preparing for, now I actually was one. I started obsessing over my girl peers, I wanted to become them, I wanted to have their body. What I thought were crushes in reality was my subconscious obsessing over people that I envied. And so I did what I always did - I tried to double down.

At the same time it was apparent to my teenage peers that I was not like them. I became relentlessly bullied, mainly for my clear autism. I felt lied to. That made me even angrier. For all my life I have been indirectly told that If I performed violence I would avoid being the subject of it, If I mutilated myself enough then I would be "safe".

It took a while before I started the process of deconstructing my identity. First I started through my bisexuality, then through non-binary identity, and at the end, recently, through a transfemme identity. Every step was more euphoric than the last, and with every step taken I was starting to feel more like myself, more like a person I could recognize when I look in the mirror. It is terrifying though - I lived as a man for so long that I forgot how to be myself. I'm still in the thick of it, slowly deconstructing my identity, little piece by piece like an ant deconstructing a biscuit.

If I continued to believe that being AMAB determined my identity, then I would have become something terrible. I would have become another prophet of the patriarchy; mutilating others like I've been mutilated would have become my way of life, my societal role. I would’ve cradled in the deep-rooted shame until I would’ve completely forgotten who I am and who I could be. I would have felt like my personhood had completely faded.

Patriarchy as a system is based on stripping away personhood from all people alike. Ideologically revolutionary movements need to be careful to not do the same, not only because it feeds into the systemic violence the very movements oppose, but also because at the same time it takes away responsibility from our abusers and oppressors - but that is another discourse better left to people more competent than me.

#trans femme #transgender #feminism #intersectionality #patriarchy #bioessentialism #transphobia #internalized transphobia #homophobia #bullying #puberty #trans

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dantegreaves00 · 6 days ago

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And Hell Followed - A Far Cry 5 x FtM Reader series Part Four

Deputy Y/N Jackson is in the middle of a Holy War in Hope County Montana. Originally sent to arrest Joseph Seed he ended up becoming the leader of the Resistance, but the deputy has a secret. A secret that only Whitehorse knows. When his younger brother and sister show up one day out of the blue, Y/N finds out that his own personal hell has found him. Now with the help of the very people he was supposed to stop can he save his family and himself?

I know this summary sucks.

Anyway I hope you enjoy this slow burn series

Trigger Warnings

Mentions of past child abuse

Mentions of past child SA

Mentions of SA

Stalking

Guns

Drugs

Religion bashing (the Deputy has religious trauma)

Religious trauma

Transphobia

Homophobia

Angst

Tag list @gamergirl-06 @capriskunk @transpanda07

-------------------------------------------------------

It was late in the afternoon when I woke up, there was a pressure against my chest but in my half asleep mind I thought it was Boomer laying on me like he normally does.

Out of habit my right hand began stroking what I believed was his fur, this continued for a couple of minutes until...

"Deputy why are you playing with my hair?" John's sleep riddled voice asked.

I stopped moving my hand.

"What?"

"I didn't say I didn't like it"

The sunlight was pouring in through the open curtains opposite the sofa, a soft glow encased John as he looked up at me from his position on my chest, his baby blue eyes sparkling with innocence.

Suddenly he lifted himself up so he was leaning on one arm as his other hand reached out to gently grasp the left side of my face.

"Deputy, can I?" He asked me, his voice a soft whisper.

I found myself unable to speak so instead I nodded my head yes.

Then my eyes fluttered closed as I felt his surprisingly velvet smooth lips touch mine in a passionate kiss.

Our lips moved in sync as he began to unbutton my shirt when the sound of my radio coming to life snapped us out of our trance.

"Hey Dep, it's Mary May, I was just wondering if you would come to the Spread Eagle to help me move some supplies"

John got off of the sofa so I could move to get my radio.

"Yeah sure, I'll be there soon" I replied

After buttoning up my shirt again and making myself presentable, I turned to look at John who was standing there, looking characteristically shy and unsure of himself.

"I have to go" I told him as I grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze.

"I know, go, it's sounds like your friends need you" he said as he squeezed my hand back.

Before I left I turned to look at him one last time. He smiled at me before he made his way towards his kitchen and I knew that things had started to change between us.

••Timeskip••

I had managed to make my way to the Spread Eagle without being spotted by any Peggies and I could see why Mary May asked for my help.

Boxes were piled high on top of each other and some looked like they were about to fall.

Grabbing one carefully off of the top I made my way inside where I was greeted by Mary May and Pastor Jerome looking over a map of Hollan Valley.

"Hey guys where do you want me to put this?" I asked as I made my way further inside the bar.

"Oh shit Dep you scared me, uh just put it over by the pool table for now" Mary May said as she went out side to collect another box.

"Looks like you had a rough night Deputy" Jerome said as he brought me a cup of what smelled like coffee.

"You could say that" I replied as I took a sip.

"Can I ask you something"

"Anything you know that Deputy" he said smiling.

"What I'm about to say has to stay between us"

"Would you rather go to my church to talk?"

"No I think it's better said now, if I wait any longer I'll chicken out"

"Then I'm all ears, what did you want to say?"

"Last night I stumbled across something that made me see red, and now things between me and someone I'm supposed to hate has changed drastically" I paused before continuing "he knows one of my darkest secrets and I ended up kissing him this morning"

Pastor Jerome stood there silently for a moment before putting his hand on my shoulder

"Is this to do with one of the Seed brothers?"

"How did you know it was to do with the Seeds?"

"Tracey told us about the river side picnic you had with them the other day, don't worry, I know you would never purposely betray us" he said before turning his attention to the box of supplies I brought in.

Before either of us could say anything Mary May walked in with another box.

"You know where I am if you want to talk more" Jerome said as he grabbed the box from Mary May who then went back out to collect another one.

I went outside to help her, my mind still roaring with thoughts of what happened last night and before I left his ranch.

"What was that all about?" She asked as I grabbed another box from slowly shrinking pile.

"Just need his advice on something" I responded vaguely.

"You're not thinking about switching sides are you?"

"No, I know what Tracey has beeb saying about what happened between me and the Seed family the other day but I was spotted by Jacob before I could leave, then I made some excuse about just stumbling upon them, then Joseph told me to sit down and I felt trapped, I didn't know what would happen if I just refused and left but then Peaches showd up and started purring when Faith stroked her and it felt normal"

"Normal, how, what do you mean by normal?"

"I mean, they were acting like your normal every day family, there were no talks of the Cult, the Resistance, nothing" I said as I pulled out my map.

"I was thinking about heading towards the river near Duches' island, just to see if I can find anyone else who needs saving from the Peggies"

"Sounds good, and sorry if it felt like I was giving you the third degree, just had so many people switch sides on us in the past, hate to lose you too Dep" Mary May said before returning her attention to the rest of the boxes.

Suddenly a car came to a screeching halt in front of us.

"Bloody idiots" Mary may said as she was carrying the rest of the boxes inside.

"Yeah" I said not really paying attention, my mind still on what happened at John's.

"Hey big brother" a voice said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

Looking up from my map I spotted what looked to be my baby brother

"Elijah, what the hell?" I asked him as he and our little sister Ava approached me.

"He's out" was all Elijah had to say before I was ushering the pair inside the Spread Eagle.

#far cry 5 x reader #john seed x reader #jospeh seed x reader #jacob seed x reader

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kvhasproblems · 1 year ago

Text

Bite the Hand - Van/Fem!reader

Chapter 2

Chapter 1, chapter 3, masterlist

Summary: R tries to sort through` her complex thoughts and hangs out with Lottie.

Warnings: reader has like serious comphet and eternalized homophobia for the first bit of this, reader also has religious trauma and shity parents (who even has good parents in this show lmao), regular yellowjackets violence, this is also gonna be like the slowest of slow burns

A/n: This chapter ended up being way shorter than planned but its better this way. Also chapter 3 might take a hot minute to come out because I move out on Saturday… but I’m hoping to get a one shot out sometime this week.

Word Count: 1900

I enter the change room sweaty and exhausted. I head to my locker when I see Van, who is violently shoving her stuff in her bag. I walk up to her.

“Hey, can we talk-“ I start before pushes past me zipping her bag as she leaves the changing room without a word.

“Ooooo what did you do?” Mari singsonged while she strutted over to her locker.

“Leave it, Mari,” Lottie answered for me. “Whatever happened is none of our business.”

“Actually I think it is our business, I mean we are a team and if this is going to affect how we play-“ Jackie said clearly wanting the drama more than anything.

“It’s not going to affect how we play because Y/n is going to figure her shit out!” Tai slammed her locker shut and left not without giving me a dirty look.

Great now she is mad too. Everyone stared slightly shocked by Taissa’s outburst. Before turning to make small talk to the person next to them. I started to quickly pack up my stuff, I just wanted to go home and cry, how did today end up such a mess? Shauna stopped me on the way out the door.

“Van’s never one to stay mad for long, I'm sure if you talk to her you can work it out.” She gave me a small smile.

“Thanks, Shauna.” I returned her smile before heading out the door and walking to the parking lot. My head is spinning, between Tai’s outburst and Shauna’s words of encouragement I feel more confused than ever. I know I messed up but I have no idea how to even go about fixing this. After a few minutes, Lottie joined me unlocking her car.

“Sorry for taking so long.” She apologized while throwing our bags in the trunk.

“No worries,” I mumbled getting into the passenger seat of the car. As Lottie drove I watched the buildings and scenery zip away as we passed as my thoughts continued to spiral.

“So, not to pry but if you wanna talk I’m here.” Lottie broke the silence between us before turning the radio down a bit.

“I’m not even sure what to say Lot, I just know I messed up. I kept saying all the wrong things but the worst part is my parents would be proud of me. If they ever found out that-“ I couldn’t even bring myself to say it. I pause for a second before restarting. “l need to apologize or at least just try to explain myself better but she won’t even speak to me.”

“I’m sure she’s just cooling down, When she’s ready to talk she’ll come to you, just be ready to listen when she does.”

I hummed in response. A comfortable silence fell between us. I fidget with my hands as I go back to looking out the window. I keep telling myself that Lottie is right, plus she always has good intuition with these things.

Lottie dropped me off saying that we could still make cookies later if I was feeling up to it before driving away. I walked in the door and started taking my shoes off. Loud barks sounded through the house as Charlie ran up to me.

“Who’s the cutest boy ever!” I coo at him as he said hello. Charlie had been a gift to me from my Uncle when I was 13. I’ll never forget my Uncle bursting through the front door yelling Happy Birthday with a tiny little ball of golden fur in his arms. Despite my parents not even calling that day it was one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had and though my Uncle has never said it out loud, I can tell he’s always been worried that my parents aren’t home, so I think Charlie was a way for him to always make sure I wasn’t lonely or bored.

My summers with my Uncle and cousins are always my favourite time of the whole year. Getting to go fishing and helping my cousins on the farm just feeling free.

I took off my shoes and went to my bedroom. I was in desperate need of a shower after today's practice. After, as much as I didn’t want to, I had calc test to study for. I pushed play on my cassette player before sitting and pulling out my notebook.

I physically paused when I realized what was playing. It was the mix Van had brought me the last time she was over. I took in a shaky breath trying to get a grip. I opened my textbook and started my homework regardless of the fact that I was completely distracted.

“Fuck”. I pushed my chair away from my desk and stood up. I swear if I look at one more math problem my head's gonna explode. I look at the clock on my nightstand.

4:17

Two hours since Lottie dropped me off.

“Yeah, that’s definitely enough math for today.” I sighed packing up my stuff before grabbing my telephone off the nightstand and dialling Lottie.

It rang for a moment before she answered.

“Hi.”

“Hey Lottie, should I come over for dinner?”

“Sure, I’ll let Ms. Abby know.”

The Mathew’s maid/hired help Ms. Abby is a very sweet woman and you can see how grateful she is every time I come over, though she would never say I think she worries about Lottie being on her own. My parents fired our permanent maid when I turned 16 stating that I no longer needed a babysitter. Though we still have people come and tend to the yard and house I hate how lonely it gets.

“Thanks, Lot, see you soon,” I say. Lottie says her goodbye before we hang up. I start to get ready packing a small bag with a few things and changing into some jean shorts.

I get to Lotties fairly quickly. We eat dinner and make cookies even if they look horribly misshapen.

We sit on the massive couch in Lottie's basement dimly lit by the TV, wrapped in excessive amounts of blanket. The cookies besides their odd shape are delicious. I grabbed a random tape to put on and it happened to be Jumangi. It had come out in theatres last year and we (Jackie) decided we needed to do some more out-of-practice bonding and Jumangi was the only movie playing with a low enough rating so Laura Lee could come with us. I remember it like it was yesterday giggling and plotting with Van to sneak Laura Lee into a rated R movie even though her parents would never let us hear the end of it. Jackie didn’t let us go through with it but it still made me smile thinking about it.

About halfway through Lottie broke the silence.

“Y/n… would your parents even be around enough to find out if you and Van were…” She let herself trail off. I’ve never truly told Lottie about…me, but she figured it out. She probably knew before I did. At a sleepover last year after Becky’s Halloween party she rolled to face me and whispered into the dark bedroom that she’s my best friend and she’ll always love and support me. I didn’t know what to say then, and I still have trouble even admitting it out loud now.

“I-“ The words seemed to catch in my throat. It’s not like I haven’t thought about it before. Running around in secret with Van. “I’m just scared Lot,” I whisper the confession over the TV. “God... I wish I wasn’t so scared of them, I mean you’re right they wouldn’t even be around enough to know, so why do they get to control me.” I grumble. Me and Lottie have talked about them many times. Our shity parents with their shity rules and expectations that they don’t even bother to stick around and enforce.

“They can only control you if you let them.” Lottie points out.

“You’re one to talk.”

She grabs the pillow and whacks me on the side of the head before erupting into a fit of giggles.

“Oh, it’s SOOOO on!” I laugh grabbing the pillow behind my head.

I drove back from Lottie’s rather late for a school night. ‘Black Hole Sun’ plays quietly as the streetlights zip by. The last time I heard this song in the car was during the ride home from Becky’s party.

I hum as the coolness seeps into my cheek as I rest it on the backseat window. The streetlights pass zip past us like shooting stars. My bones seem to vibrate with the cords of the song. I close my eyes taking a moment to relish in the drunk ride home. Swaying side to side to the chorus of ‘Black Hole Sun’. I feel her weight as she scooches closer practically laying on my side.

“Y/nnnn.” Van pokes my cheek with a drunk whisper. I crack one of my eyes open to see her smiling up at me.

“Vannn.” I singsong back.

“Whatcha looking at.”

“The lights… they are so pretty,” I mumble looking back out at them. They seem to be moving faster like they are spinning around the car.

“The prettiest.” I look to see Van looking directly at me completely ignoring the lights and suddenly it's the funniest thing that's ever happened to me. I’m starting to think I maybe shouldn’t shared that joint with Nat. I sit up and Van slides up with me. The car is really spinning now like some twisted carnival ride. I grab onto Van to try to stabilize myself. I accidentally grabbed her thigh.

“Woah!” She laughs. “Buy a girl dinner first.” It’s only then she sees the look on my face. “Uhhh, Tai!” She calls up to Tai who’s dding and has had to deal with us all night.

“What?” She answers turning down the music.

“I think you gotta pull over” Van warns.

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” I say way louder than I mean to.

As Tai quickly pulls the car over Lottie wakes up in the passenger seat.

“What’s goin'-“ I don’t hear the rest of what she says as I whip open my door and run down behind the car.

The memory bounces around my head. God I had been so embarrassed that Van had to hold my hair back. It makes sense that Lot tried to talk to me when we got back that night. Me and Van had been inseparable the whole party. I pull into the garage of my house as I continue to reminisce. I think of all the parties, the ones me and Lot snuck into in our Junior year where me and Van were always a little too close. All the times we snuck away to a quiet room and shared stolen kisses. All the times she cast her eyes down and pretended not to be hurt when I told her that we were just friends. The way her eyes would follow me around the room as I pretended not to notice or stare back when she wasn’t looking. I think about the way she looked today. Her face set and strong but her eyes so full of sadness and longing. It made me sick to my stomach. I tried to push the memory away. I need sleep.

#fanfics #van palmer x reader #vanessa palmer x reader #yellowjackets #yellowjackets fanfic #van palmer #vanessa palmer #van palmer x reader angst #Van Palmer/reader #yellowjackets x reader

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 10 months ago

Note

AITA for distancing myself from my partner?

I, (17NB) and my partner (17NB) had a rough year. Thier family is super religious, and so is the place we live in, and we've had many fears about being outed. My family is less religious and I mostly raise myself so admittedly he's a lot more paranoid, and rightfully so I'd say. But ever since we've started dating I've had to ask them multiple times to improve thier communication.

To start off, I wish they were upfront, or atleast more firm about us breaking up, atleast in the first year. That wouldve solved a lot of heartbreak if they didn't want to be with me.

They dodged the question of physical intimacy of literally anything more than holding hands or cuddling multiple times, and yet mentioned they were ace offhandedly to a friend instead of giving me a straight answer (which I wouldve been fine with, I just wish they told me.) They tend to get angry quite easily and resort to snappish/ short answers, and, especially since them having a conversation with thier mom questioning thier sexuality, tend to abhor the smallest inkling of physical contact or sign that we're together, even if we're around friends who know, or alone.

After the conversation with thier mom, they asked to break up, but i basically pleaded for another chance and they agreed. I know it's my own fault at some point for beating a dead horse, but I recently had a conversation that kind of snapped the rose-tinted glasses right off.

We were discussing our futures, and there's a somber agreement neither of us will see each other again after school. Thats not what I'm upset about. They described having kids in a hetero marriage and joking to thier kids about the "wild" stuff they got up to in highschool like experimenting in a queer relationship, basically saying our entire 3 years of dating was a fluke or joke or experiment.

I realised this was the straw that broke the camel's back, they didn't really initiate or seem as eager as me about the sparse times we could go out alone together, they gave me a half finished craft I had to sew myself while I gave a painting for valentine's day, and various examples of bad communication. They're a good friend, I'm not so sure about partner.

So, I'm kinda trying to stop this year. I stopped frantically calling in school and rearranging lessons to be with them, I didnt spam text or think about making any gifts so far, I asked to have a..spicy experience with a friend or two (that my partner agreed with me doing). In my head I guess I told myself that we might call ourselves partners but the word just lost its meaning for us both.

So far, it's okay. It hurts, because it seems more like we're just friends instead of dating, but I want to focus on myself and my studies to get out of our really conservative area. Still, I feel guilty and a little resentful. I know I should've just accepted breaking up, but we're kinda codependant. They and I both know we can't be without each other.

They love me so much, I know that. They've done so so much for me and dragged me out of a horrible place pretty much single-handedly, they're just not great at communicating or emotional maturity. Also, they seem to think queer people go to hell in some self-imposed notion of religious guilt, and when I express resentment towards religions that push homophobia on thier followers they seem weirdly defensive of it.

For context, I have BPD (my partner has, for a long time being my 'favourite person') and what I'm reluctant to call "severe" trauma but it's been described as that. I'm genuinly curious to know if this is a result of some upbringing-induced overreaction or if its okay to just kinda give up on my own relationship. Yes, I'm aware that the best thing would be to break up but I dont think I could ever leave them, for some stupid reason.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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alterrune · 19 days ago

Text

A MESSAGE FROM IRL!ALTERRUNE

tw: the 2024 election, politics, homophobia

Do I have to fucking do this...?

Yes, Kyle. I know you don't want to talk about this, but we need you to say something about your sudden absense from the story.

(Kyle's been in his room ever since 'the event' happened. He's been facedown on his bed ever since and is being incredibly rude and vulgar, even to Harmony and Synth. I've been trying to convince him to say something about this for a long time, and he finally let me do it after I intercepted an order from the cafeteria for him and said he'd have to leave his room for food until he did what I wanted. Believe it or not, he actually SUPPORTED the-President-that-must-not-be-named back in 2016, which he now considers as one of his biggest regrets. So seeing him back in power...yeah, his past came back to haunt him, and it's haunting him HARD.)

Let's just get this fucking over with.

Are you going to lift your head up, or...?

No. I'm fucking fine. Let's get this shit done.

(He's also been swearing like a sailor, and if you could hear his voice right now, it'd sound like he was totally and utterly exhausted. Which, to be frank, he is. He shot off numerous rounds into the walls of his room [which he said he'd pay the repair costs in full for], and told me he had to empty every single round of ammunition he had on him into the furniture and walls of his room so he didn't shoot a person. Of course he's exhausted.)

"okay, we're rolling."

Hey everyone. It's IRL!Alterrune here. And I'm fucking off for a bit.

To every fucking one of you in the USA right now who actually used their fucking brains during the elections: You have my sincerest condolences.

I supported that motherfucker, and to this goddamn day, I still consider that my biggest fucking regret ever.

"You're Canadian, why should you care?" Because thanks to the dumbass people who fucking supported that jerk-off, EVERYONE loses. The USA is incredibly powerful, so yeah, everyone on Earth, INCLUDING THEIR NEXT-DOOR-NEIGHBOR CANADA, fucking loses.

I am fucking retracting myself from the story for a bit. I don't know when I'll be back. But until he either gets impeached or fucking assassinated, I'm going to stay like this. And I sincerely hope it's the latter. I hope someone fucking blows his motherfucking brains out all over the goddamn floor and---

OOOOKAY, Kyle, that's enough of that! Let's move on, please!

(Kyle gives us a sneer. Excuse me, Kyle, but I'm not the one insinuating ASSASSINATION OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA here! I'm trying to stop you before you get us all in trouble!)

Regardless, as I was fucking saying, I'll be gone from the story for I don't even fucking know how long. I'll be back, but until then, I hope HE goes down before shit hits the fan.

And by the way, Vi. Believe me when I say this: there is a fucking LINE-UP for people trying to assassinate him. I'm MOST CERTAINLY NOT one of them because I'm not fucking looking to add "terrorist" to my resume, but there are others out there who can and WILL try to get a hit on him, and I'll be overjoyed when they finally kill him and fucking finally send him straight to Hell.

Vi? We should probably cut the feed before he says anything else that'll get us in HUGE trouble.

"HE'S ALREADY SAID ENOUGH. CUT THE FEED, ALREADY."

WAIT. There's one more thing I want to say.

(Kyle suddenly forces his head up...and...oh god. He hasn't been taking his sleeping pills for his insomnia, his face clearly shows that he hasn't gotten any sleep. He looks AWFUL. However, his angry expression suddenly changes into a somber one.)

(ahem)

To anyone who's in the LGBTQIA+ community:

Don't give up. Fight. Fight like you've never fucking fought before. He says you don't exist? Fuck him. You do exist. Don't let him drive you to suicide, that's exactly what he wants you to do. I may be straight, but I'm not going to sit back and let him ruin all of you. I don't care what the hell he says or does, BREAK THE LAW if you have to. Love is love, and fuck me if I'm letting that BASTARD try and ruin that.

(We all suddenly look in shock. Kyle, completely unprompted, just straight-up gave a sincere and heartfelt speech, and didn't add any unneccesary pander to it. ON ALMOST NO SLEEP.)

(While we're all picking our jaws up off the ground, Kyle gets back onto his bed, this time lying on his back with a pillow over his face.)

Okay. I'm done. Cut the fucking feed now.

(Harmony stops the feed on Kyle's command. Holy shit, what just happened?)

Well, that...could've gone better.

Yeah, but...that speech at the end. Kyle just suddenly did a 180 degree spin on that entire thing.

What the hell even happened there?

Yeah, Kyle, what was with that sudden shift?

I said exactly what had to be said. That the LGBTQIA+ community shouldn't give up just because the-President-that-must-not-be-named said so. If the world wants to fucking explode itself, then by god, I'm making sure I'm staying on the chunk of earth that has the right people on it. I had a PRIDE MONTH EVENT for AtO, so believe me when I say that I do not (and never will) support the actions he is taking. I will NOT let him fuck up the people in that community no matter what. I will defend them with my life if I have to.

Wow. I...uh...never expected YOU to be this defensive about this.

Who else will be?

Fair enough.

Alright, everyone, let's leave Kyle alone for a bit. I think he needs to take his insomnia pills.

Oh shit...I completely forgot to take them. Yeah, I think some rest would be nice.

(I escort everyone out of the room, as Kyle takes his sleeping pills and conks out almost immediately.)

Thanks, Kyle. Glad to know that even in times of peril, you still know who the good guys are, and you rush to defend them.

(I close the door to Kyle's room, leaving him to his nap. Sweet dreams, Kyle, hope you come back soon.)

STATUS OF IRL!ALTERRUNE: OFFLINE

#altering the outcome #ask irl!alterrune #ask the ato cast #the colorstreak battalion #ask laurence burnway #ask kynn lee/lily burnway #ask harmony #ask synth #tw: politics #tw: homophobia #sorry if this seems out of left field #but im not just staying silent about this #i have to get this off my chest #and im not going down without a fight

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allamericansbitch · 2 years ago

Note

Everything I've learned about Matty Healy has been deeply gross to me. I've liked Taylor Swift on and off throughout the years. And always liked her art. I don't call myself a Swifty because I don't agree with or defend all of her behavior. But I do follow her and know a lot about her and the fandom. So I feel like when I'm being critical of her, it's from an informed place, yk? But I see all these creators on Tik Tok, who aren't even fans, responding to this just for the content, and either saying things about her that aren't true, or responding with plain misogyny. So while I am just as troubled by her association with him and disappointed in her lack of vocal support for abortion rights and trans rights, I'm also concerned about people not being critical about the WAYS they are choosing to criticize her. Yes, she is very privileged. She and her family before her have benefited from capitalism and she makes being "a good business woman" part of her identity. She's benefited from this system. She surrounds herself with POC and queer performers on tour but then makes then share a stage with a bigot. She speaks out for social justice the loudest when she's effected by it, when the size of the platform she's worked to achieve and the values she's monetized in Miss Americana give her a responsibility to do more than that. (Tho I have my own opinions about celebrities not being the best demographic to be activists). All of this and more is worth approaching with critical thinking. But when people who only know surface level stuff about this and about her throw out misogynistic dog whistles like "she's Never been discriminated against" (she's been SA'd in her work place. That's definitely discrimination). Or she's "playing the victim" (a woman can make mistakes without being a calculated manipulator). Ultimately, while the situation is very different to 2016, I just don't want to see the same misogynistic dog pile we did back then. Where everybody that was already against her because they aren't comfortable with women being sucessful or talented jumps on top of valid criticism and dilutes it with bad faith vitriol. Ultimately I do want to see her showing the overt support at her concerts for the LGBTQIA community with her words as well as continued actions. Artists like Lizzo, Harry Styles, Panic! (back when they were touring), and so many others are speaking at their shows specifically about anti trans and anti abortion legislation and waving our flags. When people say it's a safety thing, I don't believe them because these other artists are doing it. Even if that's the intention, the effect is that space is being held at her shows for homophobes to buy a ticket and feel comfortable there. Again, I don't think celebrities make good activists. But I also think inadvertently catering to homophobia and racism goes against her stated values and I'd like her to address that. And for god's sake stop bringing Matty Healy on stage.

Asking anon jic somome wants to send me a death threat for not having the "right" thoughts about this.

yes! this is very well said and i agree. sadly there's always gonna be people who are just flat out sexist and will see the valid criticism she's getting and decide to join in their not-so valid narrative riddled with sexism and misogyny. the water always gets a little murky with these things.

this situation is 1000% different from the 2016 situation because that was powered by misogyny and the act of using her as a scapegoat for people's anger during the election, it wasn't really about her as a person but more of what she represented to people- which was a rich white person taking advantage of their privilege and not speaking on anything or using their platform for good. And I think the label they gave her as ‘always playing the victim’ was very aggressive for the time because while she had her moments, generally she wasn’t doing that and like you mentioned was a victim of many things.

However now I feel like we are very much inching too close to that and it’s making me nervous due to the amount of people who took that stance back then in 2016 and being like ‘I told you so! She’s playing the victim again’ because tbh I can totally see it being spun that way.

And to the great point you made about how bad people can feel safe at her shows, I’ve seen a few people point that out as well. I saw a video of someone who went to a show, saw people singing yntcd and then saying homophobic things in the parking lot after the show. I also understand the idea of her not speaking out as a safety thing… but her not speaking out makes others also not feel safe at her shows. Their safety is also important and, by Taylor not speaking out, she’s providing a space for them to feel threatened.

#answered #anonymous

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opheliaintherushes · 1 year ago

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I told myself I was done tormenting my kind and non-Riverdale-watching mutuals, and besides, I am too old and weathered for this fandom anyway, but really, the final, final thoughts on this finale and season as a whole:

First, and separately, does anything that happened after the characters got their memories back make sense? What was the point of it? They seemed completely unaffected by anything and happy to roleplay 50s teens. Were they even teens? Were they twenty-somethings sticking around high school like the vampires from Twilight for no explicable reason? Also, I'm sorry if you want to play the sentimental card, but if I was one of a handful of people who had traveled back in time and was stuck living in the past for 60 years or what have you, I would not lose contact with the others who also had. You would go insane! What did Archie tell his Modesto wife and child? Was Veronica picking up options on scripts she already knew would win Oscars? Did Jughead and Betty rewrite old issues of Mad and Ms. they might have read in the past? And is Gloria Steinem okay??? Also Betty and Jughead should remember they kind of hated each other in the future after the cheating and the voicemail, and Veronica should be so jealous of Betty for getting Archie, and Jughead should be so jealous of Archie for getting Betty, and my brain is hurting -

Almost more irritating were a) this idea that Archies are fundamentally stuck in the 50s (I owned the decade collections as a kid and the 60s and 70s were by far my favorites - very groovy), and b) the presumption that they did anything to address, expose, and or/fix actual problems of the 50s. Let us recap:

The school is already desegregated and this is never, ever discussed. The Black students are allowed to compete in beauty pageants, form their own literary club, dance on an integrated TV show, and join cheerleader squads, and this all happens with zero fight from the villains of the season. Fake Ray Bradbury and Fake Ray Bradbury's sweet but stupid wife think they could have settled in the south as a married couple in the forties. But? This is Riverdale, you say? They fixed everything? Sorry, you don't get to use Emmett Till to open the season and then eat your cake too.

Homophobia seemed to be the writers focus this season - except that every other episode someone would threaten Cheryl or Kevin, and then the next episode it would be an open secret at school with zero repercussions. Also, of course only the bad guys are homophobic (sorry Evelyn); our heroes are as forward thinking as they come. Hell, even Buffy had a moment to be wigged out by Willow and this was 1999! Anyway, look up what Lou Reed's parents did to him ('don't you know they're gonna kill your sons')

Let us not even discuss Reggie, who conquers racism through the power of athletics. Look up Richie Allen. Heck, watch the actual School Ties. It doesn't work out so well for David Greene in the end.

And then there's Fangs and Midge: first, rock and roll was seen as a huge menace, Fangs should've been on the school's hit list. Second, the writers obviously never read up on rock and rollers (who were generally older) and teen girls if they thought that was a good storyline. Third, they definitely never read any memoirs written by women in the 1950s, which all feature back alley abortions, slimy lovers, and shady doctors. (We don't even have time to get into Betty's idea of feminism being about sex all the time, everywhere, and becoming a burlesque dancer rather than, like, equal pay. Who knows, maybe she could have been the one harping on non-stop about the Beats and seen the cold face of her future there).

They didn't change anything. EC (sorry, Pep Comics) shut down. The Comics Code Authority won. So apparently all those artists who never worked again were just fine, right Tabitha?

#I don't even have the strength to hit it all #but where do they end up when they die? an eternal nightwashed sockhop in the sky #iconography with no context #hey I love Diner but even they had an unwanted pregnancy storyline and the girl doesn't get married!#I wouldn't care if they didn't get so high-handed about it #lest we forget voting on sundown towns and having the FBI save MLK #they cannot be trusted #Riverdale #a multiple choice ending because of Betty's failing memory really could've worked

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