#and i'm lucky to study them :)
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romans-empire · 18 days ago
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It's no secret that Clover and Flowey have a very apparent power imbalance. Especially with Flowey in control of the timeline and acting as Clover's save point. So, it's pretty given that Flowey has the upper hand and most power in this duo. But I don't see anyone ever talking about how Clover goes against this power imbalance in other routes besides the vengeance route.
Starting off with the vengeance route, this is the most cut and dry portrayal of Clover's defiance towards Flowey. After mercilessly going through the Underground, enacting vengeance left and right, and defeating Zenith Martlet, Flowey unintentionally reveals his plan and tries to load another save file only to realize that Clover's taken control of it. Right then and there, the power dynamic shifts, Clover is the one in control and Flowey is the defenseless one. This is further affirmed when Clover kills Flowey as he insults and degrades them as a way to assert control and dominance over them, which obviously doesn't work.
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On the topic of the vengeance route, I would like to shine some focus on the overall dynamic here. As much as Clover is following through with Flowey's suggestions of straightforwardly going through the Underground to get to the castle with no regard for anyone, he is not in control of them. He may be getting what he wants but it's in a way that doesn't follow through with his plan. Like Flowey said, Clover was reckless. They attract too much attention with their actions and that won't do for Flowey who wanted to attract as little attention as possible. Even when the two are the most similar in terms of goals and attitude, Clover does not allow Flowey to dictate their actions and when push comes to shove, they will assert their power.
In the neutral route, Clover, no matter what LV they are, defies Flowey by accepting Martlet's offer to live with her. In turn, Flowey kills Martlet and absorbs their soul. We know the psychological horror mindfuckery that is the Meta Flowey fight takes place in Flowey's mind as he tries to make them give up control, yet Clover never does. They resist all the way to the end and even go further by snooping in Flowey's memories. Clover never once gives in or falters to Flowey, they will not allow him to have control over them. They will not give him control over their soul no matter what incomprehensible horrors Flowey throws at them.
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In the end, Flowey has to give up and reset the timeline because they would resist Flowey every time. I would like to remind you that it's implied that Flowey did this multiple times and never once did he succeed. For someone who doesn't have much determination to control the timeline, Clover has a lot of determination to resist Flowey in absorbing their soul.
Honestly, out of the three routes, the Pacifist route has the least obvious show of defiance from Clover. It's still there and very much so, but it tends to get overlooked due to the nature of the storyline of the Pacifist route. Clover's defiance comes with their choice to connect with the other characters of the game. Time and time again, Flowey tries to dissuade Clover from interacting and forming bonds with the others. He attempts to isolate them by repeating that he's their only friend and to ditch the others when they accompany Clover, like with Martlet when Clover first crashes from Ava. Flowey tells Clover that they're better than the Wild East and urges them to leave as fast as possible and head straight to the castle. And each time, Clover ignores him and continues to form these bonds anyways.
The last act of defiance against Flowey is Clover's decision to sacrifice their soul. It's indirect sure, but it is possibly the biggest 'fuck you' to Flowey. Clover probably didn't mean it as such but the point still stands. Despite this, Flowey acknowledges them as a friend, recognizes their sacrifice. And so, the power dynamic shifts again, this time to a lesser degree. Of course there's still the Omega Flowey fight but even then Clover goes against him, refusing his control and actions towards torturing the next human that falls.
Overall, despite what some of the fandom believe, Clover is not completely helpless against Flowey. As much as he tells that to himself and even us the player, Flowey is not in control of Clover nor is he so powerful that they cannot fight against him. Clover has a sense of agency that Flowey cannot take away. Clover is free to make their own choices and he cannot stop them. Sure Flowey manipulates them but when has that ever succeed in the long run? When has that ever fully brought Clover to his side? Flowey may be the one with the most power in this relationship but that doesn't stop Clover from wrestling out of his control. Clover is free like a bird and no cage will ever bind them to Flowey.
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chaoticeddie · 4 days ago
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y'all I knew my fellow student was a t**** supporter but like. she's a SUPPORTER supporter
#she fell off the cadillac and hit her head#and the third student is a nurse so she was asking her all the usual questions#and she went 'who's the president'#and this bitch goes 'trump elect. but. biden right now.'#like girl you just hit your head why is it still so far up his ass that that's your answer#anyway the student who hit her head and the student who's a nurse and our instructor all went to the ER#so I'm here just waiting for them to come back#btw this is the same student who told me that it must be nice to have a brain that remembers things#cause I keep doing well on our tests and she's not#she's in her 50s I think and she was in a car accident like 40 years ago and that's her entire personality#she barely puts in any effort for studying and then blames it on lingering effects from the accident#and listen I totally understand that not everyone can study in the same way and it's gonna be way harder for some people than others#I also understand that I'm lucky in that I work at this pilates studio so instead of making a trip to the studio to self practice#I can just stay an hour later and practice then#like it does make it easier#but she self practices like once a week for like 30 minutes and then reads over her book and expects to do well on the tests#like girl don't make weird remarks at me about how my brain just magically remembers things#as if I'm not studying my ass off cause I care about this class#also like I really hope she's okay I do but it is a MIRACLE that it took this long for her to fall
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stillfruit · 2 months ago
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i love not knowing if i'll ever be healthy again i love all of the time i've used to move my body become nothing i love spending my adulthood wasting away year after year for various reasons baby!
#i know i'm being dramatic and privileged etc etc right now but i hate living like this#i probably had covid in the beginning of august and since then my heart and lungs have just been fucked#so now i'm probably looking at at least 2 years of long covid and maybe permanent neurological damage#could i be lucky and get better in few more months? maybe. do i believe that will happen? no. optimistically maybe next summer id be better#my symptoms are not that bad considering what i know other people have suffered but at the same time that makes it feel not real#otherwise i'm pretty much fine except i feel like fainting alot after standing up or excerting myself and anything beyond walking#spikes my hr to 160 and right now even laying down my hr is around 80. this comes with the associated shortness of breath etc#what fucks me up about this is that my normal hr is low with my rhr being under 50bpm and i'm physically active#so basically i've went from regular running and half marathons being no issue to not being able to jog 1km at the slowest pace possible#without spiking my hr to zone 4#so now with the recovery time of this being however long if properly ever i'll have to basically start all over again with everything#i biked to the grocery store yesterday and that took me out for the rest of the day because my heart rate just didn't go down afterwards#outwards i look fine and i wouldn't be as affected if sports and moving wasn't a part of my life and relationships but it is#i've read studies about recovery times and a lot of them don't feel applicable because the test groups are either very different from me#based on the baseline health info such as activity levels or they're elite atheletes which i am not#some have given me hope that keeping my hr under like 130 by doing activities like walking until maybe someday things get better works#but who knows and even if it does this will be yet another thing that takes the littlest bits of muscle tissue i have on me away once again#because besides deconditioning muscle loss is yet another symptom. so i will be even weaker than i am right now#i don't know how much of what i'm experiencing in terms of mental effects is from anxiety over my physical health and how much is brainfog#but we'll see i'll just have to start walking a lot every day and keep up with simple and slow strenght training so i'll want to die less#i don't think my family will ever properly understand because almost all of them are athletes and the one who isn't never does any excercis#so either i just look like i'm weak but i was always weak so it's not a big deal or my experience isn't really that important#this is so so so pathetic both my reaction and the issue but it's difficult to not feel this way especially with the uncertainty#shit talking
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elytrafemme · 2 years ago
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a few days ago i had the epiphany of like, okay, i’m not kidding anybody here and the only people disagreeing with me are figments of past people who float around in my head. i have BPD. and it would take a major fucking overhaul of my entire life and the way that i have operated for seventeen years to say any different. so instead of me saying BPD with fifteen asterisks specifying i am not technically sure and this is medically recognized but not professionally diagnosed etc etc let me just say i have it.
and then now i’m like oh God but what if i don’t have it
#nightmare.personal#like at this point i think the only thing that would convince me is to have a professional say it#but my therapist literally will not diagnose me (for several reasons which are all incredibly valid) and i am not seeing another person#like i am lucky enough that i have a therapist that i can scream at for a session and then the next time talk about my last date or whatever#i don't want to have this label put on me because that's going to fuck up so much about my life#but i am literally never going to be able to get rid of that doubt that's telling me nobody thinks you have BPD you're lying to yourself#and it's like! that's not unreasonable for people to think! i know that i'm 17 and that's young for a diagnosis!#and maybe i'm biased because people have told me to look into BPD because of my behaviors since i was 13#but i've watched testimonial videos and spent hours in forums and talked to people diagnosed with BPD and read articles about it#and i've studied the symptoms like the back of my fucking hand and i've tracked my behaviors and i've done EVERYTHING#and i've considered EVERY other option i've considered: autism ptsd bipolar adhd. to name a few#and NONE of them explained this the ONLY thing that makes sense is bpd#not even other personality disorders explain it it's just this one#and i know people think that you shouldn't seek labels but. i have been looking for a community for so long#and now i think i have one. but i still feel like i don't actually have it#and that everyone thinks i'm lying but just isn't saying anything yet
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wizardlyghost · 1 year ago
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this fucking course is such bullshit the damn online test thing just tested me for an entirely different topic (that i was unable to access), nitpicked my wording for no reason (i entered "safety/cut resistant gloves". the 'correct' answer? "gloves". ffs.), and marked me as wrong on one question bc whoever built the shitty 3d section of the test made the mistake THAT THE TEST IS SUPPOSED TO BE TEACHING US NOT TO MAKE. IN A 3D MODEL NOT EVEN A REAL BUILDING CHRIST ON A STICK. the human instructor is fucking amazing but this new online-based curriculum is shitty and half-assed as fuck.
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giantkillerjack · 2 years ago
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Watching Horrible Histories for the first time and reminded about working conditions in the Victorian era and how British people in that time believe themselves to be the Pinnacle of society!
Which reminds me a lot of America today - the greatest country in the world (as long as you don't look too close)!
I'm sure it'd be alright if we did a little (or a shit load of) imperialism - after all, we have better ways of living we can share with these poor foreigners! (Ignore our medical mortality rate, we are doing AWESOME.)
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vlvtrkii · 2 years ago
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Sorry to every hard worker but i think I'm gonna have it all easy again in the test i have today
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bumblingbabooshka · 2 years ago
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I think I forgot to send this but this is the suder anon again. Your fics are so nicely written I love the way you dig into the characters and really give the depth. You can tell from your art n writing on here too of course but it was so nice to find that you wrote stuff too. We love guys in a situation that is thoughtful to who they are as a character ✨
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Suder anon you are so sweet and kind.....................making my entire day.....!!!! Please take a snippet of the Tuvok/Suder fic I started working on after seeing your first message (which I have not replied to yet I know I'm sorryyy I swear I will;;) and know that I'm touched as hell that you spoke so highly of my writing! I love character interaction more than anything hehehe and it's OBVIOUS...NONE of my fics have plot it's just people talking and feeling things bc that's what interesting to me.
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It's only in the first-draft stages and I'm semi busy right now for someone who's unemployed so Idk when I'll be able to polish & publish it but just know that when it DOES that that's your influence...it inspired me.
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roaringheat · 1 year ago
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I was really productive today and i'm trying to be proud of myself but theres nothing like being reminded by my family that they consider me lesser and an after thought to kill my mood and motivation
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lastoneout · 8 months ago
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Like I know we all love making ADHD seem cool but like, don't forget it's actually a disability? My ADHD is bad enough I've nearly been evicted for forgetting to mail the rent check to the property manager, I've forgotten to pay the utility bills and had my water or power get turned off or had to pay fines bcs I missed a credit card payment. Once I was supposed to cat sit for a friend and I lost the house key she gave me but didn't realize until she was already out of town, and she had to call the apartment office to get someone to give me the spare so her cats would have food for the week. When I'm unmedicated I can't even get myself to shower half the time, forget eating or cleaning. Before I started living with my fiance I'd just like, not eat for days because I didn't have anyone to remind me to eat or go buy me food. I've forgotten to turn the stove off so many times and ruined kettles and tbh been DAMN fucking lucky the house didn't burn down. I've done stupid, impulsive shit that's nearly gotten me KILLED. I can't remember to close the shower curtain reliably even through my fiance points out every single time I forget, and he's almost out of soap rn bcs for the last MONTH neither of us have been able to remember to order more once we get out of the shower.
I've had such bad memory my entire life that to this day someone suggesting I forgot something because I simply didn't care enough is a legitimate trigger that, in the worst cases, makes me have a breakdown.
I get that for some of you this is just something that makes studying hard or you forget to take a pee break when you're playing Minecraft or whatever, that's still a valid struggle and you do deserve help and understanding, but like, ADHD is a disability. It's disabling. It's not impossible to improve and learn coping skills, meds help a lot, there are great accommodations out there(LIKE CLEANING SERVICES), but not every case of ADHD is the same, and a lot of them are pretty ugly ngl, and just because you managed to do something doesn't mean someone else is gonna be able to manage it too, or that they're being lazy for struggling. And that obviously doesn't mean ADHD people have a free pass to never work on themselves and make everyone cater to their every need or whatever, but we do deserve some understanding when we explain that our disability is actually disabling in ways that aren't palatable to you. So like, idk, maybe don't immediately recoil in horror when you find out that someone with ADHD can't keep their house clean. And for fucks sake don't ridicule them for it.
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epistemofili · 6 months ago
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TT i dont know if its bc of my depression resurfacing but I'm starting to get an urge to drop out from school and focous ok doung art.
And like.....im saying this as someone who really wants to go to college.
Lols my mental health isn't good these days
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occudo · 3 months ago
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An incomplete list of TMA fics I adore
-beacuse of this ask
(If you liked the fics I previously recommended/made fanart for, I think you'll gonna like these as well, but you know, read the tags, know what you are going into)
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Yesterday is Here by CirrusGrey @cirrus-grey
Time Travel Fix-it! Slow burn! So good! So much sass from future!Jon- I doubt I have to introduce anyone this amazing author, but if you somehow missed them till now, this is your time! I highly recommend all of their other fics as well, for example one of a more recent one, The Stranger I Know Best is also a lovely read.
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enthralling by Prim_the_Amazing @primtheamazing
Vampire!Martin!! I have no words of how much I love this concept, this story, everything about this. I think I'm going to repeat myself through this list, but I also recommend everything else they've written!
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to fill... my heart with music? by godshaper @godshaper so their Martin and Jon design are different from mine, also they made a way better art for this- but still, I wanted to include this really good fic in this list.
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Do It All Anew by inkfingers_mcgee or @crit20art
You know the feeling when you read a book that makes you cry, and after that you recommend it to your friend? Well- there is no reason I mentioned this, I'm just so normal about this fic. Or any other fic from inkfingers_mcgee... like Strange Manner of what I made another fanart way back. Also, check out their art!
Anyway, here is Aamal- she is not going to cause emotional damage.
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And they were sidekicks (oh my god, they were sidekicks) by arthureameslove @arthureameslove
A lighthearted series where Jon and Martin are sidekicks of supervillains- it's just a really fun fic, also recommend everyting from this author - I previously draw fanart here for an other fic of theirs Like a Lighthouse, Call Me Home
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neither sad, nor sick, nor merry, nor well by saintbleeding @saintbleeding
To quote the aurthour: "Post-divorce Jon and Martin in a wedding-based romcom" It's such a comfort read, also has a Tim/Sasha wedding, and lots of cameos! I realised most of these authors I made fanarts for before- like this one for some kind of miraculous bind, this one is oneshot and a bit more serious in tone.
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Give Me the Words by rakel @rakel-on-ao3
"Jon and Martin try to make the most of a bad situation in the Scottish Highlands. The situation is worse than they realised." You know that one post about wanting to write PWP, but it keeps turning into character study? Well, this one comes to my mind each time I see that.
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i wanna find a home (i wanna share it with you) by heartshapedguy @transgenderboobs
So what would have happened if instead of the cot (tm), Jon offered Martin his own flat to stay? There is no way it's going to change their relationship, right? Such a good read, if you want some fluff, I highly recommend it!
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Lucky Stars by magnetarmadda @magnetarmadda
Martin has a lovely family (except his mother) but still, he needs a fake boyfriend, and Jon comes to the rescue. It's one of the first fics I remember reading after I finished the series. It is such a comfort read of mine~
(+enjoy a rare tall Jon from me)
There are so many more fics that also deserve the spotlight, these are just the ones I read multiple times and/or didn't made fanarts for before. If you find something here you like, give them some love! Kudos and comments! They deserve it. (Also, just an extra disclamier some of these are PWP or rated T- just mind the tags)
I tried to link and tag everything, I hope it works.
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jellybeanium124 · 14 days ago
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if you'll allow me to flaunt my psych minor for a second, I'd like to talk about epigenetics. there's studies that show that if you shock a rat when you let them taste a certain flavor, they will immediately become averse to that flavor. not surprising. what is surprising is that the rat's grandchildren, who have never been shocked when given that flavor, will also be averse to it and afraid of it and avoid it. there's also correlational evidence to suggest that the descendants of people who suffered through famine are more likely to put on weight and keep it on easier, even if they have never been through a famine themself.
trauma gets passed down. the kinds of trauma your parents, grandparents, and so-on lived through is still living in you. even if your parents were the most well-off, loving, best parents in the world, their trauma is still in you.
now if you'll allow me to take a slight turn here: there's a wild rabbit inside every jew.
my dad grew up being called "jew-boy." my mother had a coworker throw pennies at her at her job in the 2010s. and that's just two examples. they both grew up being harassed for being jewish. I wasn't. I'm incredibly lucky. the amount of antisemitism I've experienced in real life has been incredibly minimal. I didn't even hear anyone make an antisemitic joke in front of me until college.
and none of us were seriously persecuted. none of my grandparents were seriously persecuted. but even though nobody's broken my windows, nobody's beaten me in the streets, and I haven't been at any of those horrible protests in person, the fear is there. this deep seated, blood-pumping fear of the ancient jewish rabbit in me telling me to run. to run for dear life, to run as far as my legs can get me, as long as my heart keeps pumping and my lungs keep breathing.
we all feel this.
everyone feels this.
I called my mother yesterday. when I brought up this feeling she paused, and the silence said everything. she told me I wasn't alone. she feels it. my dad feels it. my brother feels it. my nana and grampa feel it. every jew you know, online, in real life, hell, even the famous ones, they feel it. the rabbit is inside us all, and the rabbit knows, because its brothers who didn't flee in the past were slaughtered.
the rabbit is leaping around my chest, all of our chests, chanting run run run run run run run.
I don't know if I can explain it to gentiles. I don't know if this makes sense to you. I don't know how to get across how crystal clear and deep and primal this fear is, and how much all of us are feeling the exact same fear, despite our different lives and different histories and the fact we're different people.
part of me wishes it didn't matter. that I didn't feel like I needed to get goyim to understand my specific cultural and ethnic experiences. because I don't feel like I need to deeply understand everyone else's. I am a white passing ashkenazi american jew, and I will never fully understand what it is like to be anything else. that doesn't dissolve my responsibility to educate myself and practice empathy, but it's ok. idk, maybe other people do desperately wish they could get people not in their specific group to deeply understand what it's like to be them. I imagine that feeling is universal. I guess, it's just like, the left is unified that everyone is a person, everyone is equal, everyone is human, except the jews. nobody is left out but the jews. everyone's word is believed, but the jews. and it makes me feel like I have to beg and plead with people to understand what being jewish means, because we're not included with everyone else. we're the enemy. and I want people to see we're not the enemy.
epigenetics.
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cuddleprofiler · 1 month ago
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FAINTING & FEVER - When you confess your deep buried feelings to your boss in your fever.
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Summary: Hiding a fever? Check. Passing out? Check. Confessing your feelings to your boss? Wait woah?
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader, BAU x platonic!reader
Genre: Fluff
Warnings: fever, fainting, rest is good I guess.
Word Count: 3.8k
A/N: This was supposed to be platonic but I didn't feel like it is romantic :) This is my first time writing any non-platonic work. All the pics I have inserted are more clear when clicked if you want to see (Tumblr did something). Positive Criticism is welcomed.
"So, what are you ladies up to tonight?" Morgan asked while driving, his focus on the road. You'd just finished a case, and as usual, Morgan was eager to make plans before another case thrust you back into the world's horrors.
"Well," JJ began with a sigh, eyebrows raised, "I'm going to spend the whole day resting with my boys." She finished with her radiant smile.
"What about you, Prentiss?" Morgan glanced at Emily in the passenger seat.
"No plans yet, but who knows? I might have something by the time we land."
"L/N?" Derek called out when he realized you hadn't answered, lost in your own world.
You sat beside Spencer, staring out the window, oblivious to your surroundings. The heat you felt was consuming every coherent thought.
"L/N?"
"Huh? What did you say?" you asked, turning your head so quickly that JJ and Spencer wondered how you didn't get whiplash. Your voice remained calm and soft.
"You okay?" Spencer asked, his hazel eyes filled with concern.
"Why wouldn't I be, Spencer?" you replied, mustering a small smile to maintain your façade.
"You just seem...down," he commented, studying you intently. You gave him another small smile, shook your head, and winced. Your head felt as if it had been struck by an invisible hammer. Spencer either didn't notice your wince or chose not to comment.
"You up for some fun tonight?" Morgan asked again, though you were barely aware.
"What fun?" you frowned. The way he said "fun" made you think it might not be the kind you'd enjoy.
"Seriously, sweet girl? You're spending way too much time with Reid. I'm talking about bars, drinks, and if you get lucky, then maybe—" Morgan started with a Cheshire grin, while your eyes widened.
"No," you said in a high-pitched tone, embarrassed at the thought of hooking up with a random guy when you already loved someone.
"What do you mean, 'no'? Come on. We don't get many days off, L/N. You should enjoy them when you can."
"Morgan, I can't," you said, shifting uncomfortably.
"And why is that, sweet girl?"
"Hey! Garcia will take offense if you call someone else 'sweet girl,'" you said with a smile, appreciating his use of a nickname for you.
"Nah. My baby girl will never be offended by this, and you're not just someone else," he replied confidently.
"But answer the question, sweet girl," he prompted, aware you were avoiding it. He assumed your hesitation was due to your reluctance to go out, knowing how you and Reid felt about drinking and socializing.
"I've got some work to do, Morgan. Also, I'm tired," you said, leaning your head back.
Morgan's expression changed instantly.
"Go straight home when we land, Y/N, not to Hotch's office. Whatever files you have to work on can wait. If I didn't know him better, I'd say he's making you do overtime."
"Exactly. Hotch will understand, and there's no need to tire yourself out," Spencer added softly.
Their concern warmed your heart. "Of course, gentlemen," you replied, amusing the others.
The conversation drifted back to their plans while you gazed out the window, watching amoeba-shaped clouds float slowly across the sky. The view was therapeutic, but you didn't tell them how awful you were feeling.
When you woke up that morning, it felt as if hell had descended upon Earth just for you. Your muscles ached, protesting and begging you to return to bed, but you couldn't. Lives were at stake, a case needed solving. Now, the muscle pain had given way to a headache and constant zoning out.
You longed to get home as soon as possible, yearning for your fluffy blankets to engulf you completely, save for your head. You hoped your phone might end up in a ditch for the day, allowing you to remain in your cozy cocoon until you felt well enough to face the world—and potential case calls—again.
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Soon, you arrived at the airstrip, where Emily and JJ surrounded you.
"So, where's your mind wandering today?" Emily asked with a mischievous grin. Before you could answer, JJ chimed in.
"In dreams of Hotch, of course. Right, Y/N?" You quickly shushed her, glancing around to ensure no one had overheard.
"JJ, Emily, we're at the airstrip," you whispered urgently. "Someone might hear you. It's supposed to be a secret. Sometimes I think you and Garcia are determined to let Hotch find out." You began trudging toward the plane, feeling drained.
They both laughed and high-fived.
"We do want you two together," Emily said.
"You should tell him yourself," JJ added. "Besides, if he overhears by accident, it'll only speed up your love life."
"By the way, Y/N, will you only go out with us if Hotch is there too?" Emily teased.
"Guys!" you groaned as they laughed.
Your crush on Hotch had started early in your tenure, initially based on his looks. But it deepened into something more profound, to the point where his well-being affected you deeply. You felt terrified when he faced dangerous situations. That's when you knew you were in trouble.
There was no way he'd fall for someone who could barely speak to him. You had your reasons for avoiding him. The days leading up to this decision were hellish. Never had you stumbled over your words as much as you did then. And what did he do?
He always gave you a patient look and nodded softly, encouraging you to speak your mind. It was manageable until you started losing yourself in his eyes or staring at his face constantly. After that, you ensured you were never alone with him except when working on case files. You began doing this so he could go home early and rest, reasoning that a few extra files wouldn't impact your time.
You were startled from your reverie by the memory of Garcia suggesting that Hotch might like you too. You still don't believe her, but a girl could hope.
"If it gets too much, I want you to pull out."
"Sir?" you asked, confused, looking up from your gun at your boss, who was surveying the team preparing to ambush the unsub's house.
"Everyone has off cases, L/N, but with time, most of us have learned to deal with it. Still, we pull ourselves out when needed. You're still new. So, pull out if necessary. Do you understand me?" he said, now looking at you, his gaze sweeping over your shorter form. You looked up at him intently, lost in his eyes until he raised an eyebrow. You could have sworn you saw his eyes soften slightly.
"Yes, sir."
"Call me Hotch, Y/N." With that, he walked towards the rest of the team as you hurried to catch up.
Back at the FBI building, you dashed to Garcia's lair. She was your first friend, and you both had a tendency to ramble about various topics. Sometimes Reid joined in. As soon as you saw her, you hugged her. Hugging Garcia was like therapy—you could feel your worries, guilt, and other negative emotions leaving your body. You felt yourself relax, your body lighter. You called it "Garcia magic”! It was an added bonus that Garcia was fond of physical affection.
When you told her about Hotch's words and your feeling that he was worried and all other incidents where he acted the same—though you thought that was impossible—she flashed her beaming smile, all her white teeth showing. Her eyes, however, held the amusement of knowing something you didn't.
"I didn't know sweet cheeks, he cares for you this much." Garcia mused, clearly pleased by what you'd shared.
This much? And what do you mean?" you asked, your curiosity evident.
"Hmm hmm. He looks at you the same way Will looks at JJ. He's so soft with you and he isn't like this with anybody. Maybe except Jack of course."
“Garcia there’s no way in hell he likes me. Maybe he was trying to be sweet.” you asked her trying not to get your hopes up.
This is a paradox. You are sure. Damn sure! Garcia began laughing while you gave her an incredulous look. She didn’t stop until you threw a teddy at her. “My sweet sweet girl, Hotch is never sweet with anyone. Ask Emily about it if you are unsure but nope nada in my so many years of being at BAU, he’s never sweet with anyone.”
"Maybe you are overthinking this Garcia. Hotch and I don't even know each other.”, you mumbled looking at your hands in your lap.
“That is an argument I will have with you on another day but what I'm saying is that Hotch likes you.", she says with a small almost sad smile.
"If you want you can observe him. You're a profiler baby. Yow will know.", she added gleefully.
Henceforth, you observed Hotch as profiling team members was off-limit. He had a tendency to smile at you softly and he didn’t offer others the same amount of options that he did to you , but you attributed this to being new. You were certain he'd show his more authoritative side once you were no longer considered the newest member. Definitely!
Lost in these thoughts, you suddenly felt your vision blur and your surroundings distort.
"Whoa! You okay?" Emily asked as she grabbed your forearm, while JJ held the other. They exchanged concerned looks when you didn't answer immediately. You shook your head slightly and replied,
"Yeah, yeah. Just slipped."
They didn't seem convinced but didn't press further.
"Be careful," JJ said, patting your shoulder.
"Yeah, of course," you mumbled, trying to regain your composure.
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Hotch and Rossi chatted as they walked, their conversation drifting from Jack's football to other topics. Before they knew it, they'd arrived at the airstrip. As Hotch boarded the plane, he froze in surprise. You were seated next to his usual spot—an unexpected sight, given your habit of avoiding him outside of group settings or work situations. Your presence there felt nothing short of miraculous.
Not wanting to give Rossi a chance to tease him, Hotch quickly sat beside you. He was certain you hadn't noticed his arrival, as you were deeply engrossed in the case report—something you rarely worked on during flights.
His attention shifted back to Rossi when the older agent began discussing plans for a pasta dinner. From the corner of his eye, Hotch caught you glancing up, offering both him and Rossi a small smile before burying yourself in the file again. It was odd, considering the report wasn't due for days.
He didn't want to finish it quickly, knowing an empty home awaited him. No one would be there to greet him—just silent walls. Jack was on vacation with Jessica's family for the next few days, leaving Hotch alone in the city. He stole another quick glance at you, resisting the urge to look more often.
Hotch was sure he would never fall in love again after Hayley. He loved her from such a young age and so much that loving someone else felt betraying the love he had bestowed upon Hayley all those years. Even after getting a divorce, he didn't stop loving her completely. Sometimes, he liked to believe they separated not because they fell out of love, but because their love was so intense that their arguments became too painful. However, he knew this wasn't the reality. He sighed and pulled out his file.
His thoughts soon drifted to you. Lately, contemplating love inevitably led him to think of you. Sometimes you don't know what hit you until it does. Falling in love with you was the same. He was falling in and never realised until the day he got a letter. From you.
Hotch had slowly fallen in love with you. That was the truth of his life, he stayed away from for a long time. How could he stay away when your every action seemed to win his heart anew? Each time he learned something new about you, he fell a little deeper.
You were a sweet addition to the team. It didn't mean you were all the time sunshine. Everyone learnt that the hard way. He mentally chuckled at the fight you and Morgan had over dark chocolate to the extent you were ready to beat him black and blue. However, your sweet gestures towards everyone on the team always warmed his heart.
He reminded himself to remain professional. After all, he was on a plane with a group of profilers who could decipher his feelings in minutes if given the chance.
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"L/N, can you tell me about the—"
"L/N?" Hotch called out again, surprised you didn't hear him the first time. Still, you didn't reply. Rossi also looked up.
"Y/N? Y/N!" He said, touching your shoulder.
"Yeah, yeah. What happened?" You looked like a deer caught in headlights, making both Hotch and Rossi confused.
"Nothing happened. I was just asking you about the case," he replied, looking at you. You were looking...different. It was as if every laugh and joy had been drained from your life.
"I'll be right back," you said, standing up and moving before Hotch had a chance to stop you.
The moment you stood up, you knew you shouldn't have done that. You were far better sitting down. Now the pounding in your head intensified, along with the feeling of being shaken up to the point where you could see everything oscillating. You tried to keep yourself still, hoping your surroundings would become normal.
The next thing you knew, everything went black.
Hotch saw you swaying and moved instinctively. He caught you, one hand on your waist, the other on your shoulder, trying to keep you up while you were dead weight. However, it wasn't as easy as it seemed in the movies.
"Y/N? Y/N. Hey, wake up!"
"Y/N!" He squeezed your body against him.
However, his yelling got him nowhere. You didn't respond, lying still in his arms as if you were taking a nap. Hotch would have believed it if he hadn't seen you go down in front of his eyes.
"Y/N," he called out again, softly this time, yet the response was the same. He swept your hair back from your face.
Unable to keep you up, he gently lowered both of you onto the aisle. He moved his hands to your shoulders, gently shaking you, but you showed no sign of waking up.
He didn't notice anyone else until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Rossi sitting beside him, looking alarmed by the happenings. Morgan was above your head. The rest of the team was also hovering.
"What happened, man?" Morgan asked while taking the sweater Reid offered and putting it under your head.
Hotch didn't answer. He himself didn't know what was wrong with you. One minute, you were standing and the next plummeting down like the apple which led to the discovery of gravity. His hand went to your cheeks, where he felt the heat radiating. His frown appeared and deepened as he touched your forehead.
"She's burning up!" Hotch said worriedly, still keeping his tone full of calmness while his heart was trying to beat out of his chest. Having a fever is one thing but passing out from it is entirely another. He couldn't help but feel the small burning sensation in his chest at the thought of being ill, even if it was a fever.
You could hear people talking, but why would there be people at your home? You scrunched your face and blinked your eyes multiple times before fully opening them. Everything was blurry at first, but soon it became clear, along with the horrible pounding in your head. You tried to sit up, but a firm pair of arms pushed you back.
"Hey Bella, don't try to get up. Stay still."
"Wha-what happened?"
"You fainted," Hotch said. The rest of them had dispersed, knowing Hotch would take great care of you and that a crowd wouldn't help much.
"I don't feel good," you groaned, your hand massaging your head.
"Yeah, I gathered that much. Tell me what's exactly wrong, L/N?" Hotch had your hand in his, rubbing it softly to ease the pain in any way he could.
"I don't feel good," you mumbled again with half-closed eyes. You were mostly disoriented from what Hotch could figure out.
"You have a fever."
"I do?"
It was taking you time to gather what was happening. He blamed the fainting and fever. It took you time, but you slowly opened your eyes fully when you noticed Hotch still sitting at the edge of the sofa. He still held your hand, and your legs were on his lap. Being in touch with him felt like second nature; you didn't even notice until you opened your eyes. You quickly tried to pull back your legs and hand, but Hotch stopped you with his hold.
"Don't move so much, Y/N. Relax," his voice soft and calming, as always.
You sat in silence for the rest of the journey, which wasn't very long. You were clutching onto his forearm as he helped you sit up to go home. When you came outside the plane,
"Hotch, I can go home by myself," you began, your voice small, hoping to regain some of the dignity you lost after fainting in front of your entire team.
"Y/N, you can't stand straight, and you want to drive home by yourself?" Hotch asked with a raised eyebrow.
"There are other ways to be suicidal than this, sweet girl," Morgan quipped, walking beside you, not that you noticed. You looked up at him and then at Hotch, concern shining in both of their eyes.
"I'm not joking," you huffed.
"Neither are we," Morgan said.
"Y/N, it's final. I'm taking you home," Hotch ordered. That's what it felt like to you.
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Hotch had an arm around your waist, supporting you as your body threatened to collapse. He hurried towards your apartment, aware of your rising fever. He couldn't give you medicine without food, but he was grateful for your unfiltered speech—it revealed the extent of your discomfort.
"You know, Hotch?" you began as he fumbled with the door. You leaned against the wall for support.
"Dahlias are my favourite flowers. They symbolize change, dignity, and elegance."
"They're native to Mexico, right?" he replied as you entered the apartment.
"Yeah! You know about them?" you asked, turning your face abruptly.
"Easy, honey. No sudden moves," he cautioned. "And yes, I've picked up a few facts over the years."
"I've always loved them. So colourful, bright, and beautiful," you laughed softly.
Hotch had never heard you speak so freely. He found himself enchanted by your voice, certain you could rival Reid in flower trivia.
After settling you on the sofa, Hotch fetched water, fruit, and medicine. You tossed your shoes aside and reluctantly took the pills, groaning as you slumped back.
"You should change into something more comfortable," Hotch suggested, removing his own shoes.
You looked at him, startled. Realizing his phrasing, he quickly clarified, "I mean, you should put on some comfy clothes."
At his insistence, you changed. When you returned, Hotch had shed his coat and tie, his shirt partially unbuttoned.
"Aren't you going home?" you asked, confused.
"I'll stay tonight, in case you need anything."
"There's no need, Hotch. You must be exhausted from the case. Go home and rest. I'll be fine."
"Y/N, it's better if someone's with you tonight. You fainted on the plane. I wouldn't be able to relax not knowing how you're doing," he admitted, his voice soft.
You smiled at his thoughtfulness and curled up on the sofa with a blanket and pillow. You both decided to watch Star Wars.
Partway through the movie, you turned to Hotch, staring intently.
"You know, Hotch?"
"Yes?"
"I love you. Like, really, really love you," you said with a lopsided smile.
Hotch froze, completely still. He hadn't been this motionless since he first held Jack, afraid of hurting his newborn son. He never imagined you reciprocated his feelings, but he knew if he didn't get the conversation going right now, he not going to know about your feelings when you are not loopy due to medicine.
“Yea?”
"Mm-hmm. You're so wonderful and adorable and just... so cute. Yeah, you're intimidating at work, but the rest of the time? Totally cute."
"Oh, am I?"
Though your tongue was loosened by the medicine, you were more lucid than you let on. Having suppressed these feelings for so long, you couldn't stop now that you'd started. You wanted to tell him everything—him about all those feelings that you shouldn't have about him but you do, how couldn't help but fall for him slowly and every day seeing him made your day.
He was so handsome! His pretty dark brown chocolate-coloured eyes are swoon-worthy. Whenever you look into them, you feel hypnotized, unable to look away from them but not being present in the time; you often find yourself lost in them, forgetting his words as you gaze at him. Right now, he was looking directly at you, and you were drowning in his gaze.
How does he not realize the effect he has when he looks at someone like this?
Hotch's smile grew with each word you spoke.
"You're so handsome, ridiculously handsome. Have you seen yourself under that table lamp? You look like some movie hero poring over case files."
He blushed and glanced away at your flood of compliments. You cupped his face, turning it back to you, your eyes wide and intent. His smile made your frown melt into the biggest grin he'd ever seen on you. You looked beautiful.
"I just really like you, but I know you don't like me," you said, your voice small.
He frowned at your words.
"I love you too, honey, but I'll give you the full answer when you're well enough to remember it. Word for word," he replied softly.
You squealed with delight.
"You aren't just saying this to spare my feelings, right?" you mumbled a few moments later.
He cradled your face in his hands. "I would never say such a thing just to spare someone's feelings, Y/N. I love you. More than you can imagine."
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Your questioning continued throughout the movie, but you refused to turn it off.
"You must have had many admirers in college. How many girlfriends did you have?" you asked, your head resting on his shoulder while his hand on your waist pulled you closer. Both of you kept your eyes on the TV.
"I only had one."
"No, you're lying. You're far too handsome to have had only one girlfriend your entire life."
'You can become the second.'
"What did you say?"
"I didn't say anything, sweetheart."
"Did you just call me sweetheart?"
"You're imagining things, L/N. It's a common symptom of high fever. Of course, I didn't call you sweetheart, honey."
"Oh, but I—you just called me—"
"What?"
"Never mind. I must be imagining it."
"Yes, you're definitely imagining things."
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1K notes · View notes
theostrophywife · 9 months ago
Text
azúcar.
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pairing: mattheo riddle x reader.
song inspiration: baby by madison beer.
author's note: benjamin being active on tiktok is dangerous for my health. i actually feel like i'm about to crawl on the ceiling from how badly i want this man. literally tweaking. anyways, enjoy 😊
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There were a lot of quidditch related superstitions you were willing to put up with. 
Wearing the same socks during every match. Kissing your boyfriend good luck before every game. Even the rowdy common room parties that you and Mattheo often snuck out of to have a celebration of your own was a tradition you welcomed with open arms. 
But this was not one of them. 
“It’s absolutely absurd,” Pansy huffed, her sleek black hair grazing her chin as she tucked her legs underneath her on the velvet couch. “Blaise has lost his mind.” 
“Sounds like you’re the one losing it, Pans.” 
Pansy rolled her eyes. “You would too if your boyfriend suddenly announced a sex ban as part of some weird quidditch superstition.” 
Since the start of the season, the quidditch team had taken a few hits. Usually, the boys dominated the other houses, but they barely won against Hufflepuff and came to a draw against Ravenclaw during the last game. Ending in a tie was apparently the last straw because the day after the match, Blaise told Pansy that the team had taken a pact of celibacy. 
For some deranged reason, the boys believed that abstaining from sex for a week would help them secure a win for the rematch on Friday. For the next five days, they intended to sleep, breathe, and eat quidditch. Apparently, your feminine wiles would have to be set aside for the meantime. As if sex were the problem and not their constant drinking and partying, which probably contributed to their lack of focus as a whole. Not that the boys would listen to common sense at this point. 
You scoffed. “Please, Mattheo wouldn’t last a day without sex let alone a whole week.”
“Don’t be so sure,” Pansy said rather bitterly, picking at the cushion in her lap. “The lot of them are taking this entirely too seriously. Blaise won’t even allow himself to be in a room alone with me.”
”Well, Zabini has a surprising amount of self-control. Mattheo, on the other hand, is perpetually horny. There’s no way that he agreed to such a ridiculous pact.”
“Lucky you,” your best friend said with a long suffering sigh.
You nudged her knee with your foot and smiled mischievously. “Don’t worry, babe. I’m more than willing to help. Blaise may be disciplined, but he’s also just a man. What do you say we pop into the village? I think I saw a lace emerald lingerie set that had your name all over it.”
Pansy perked up at that. “I knew I came to the right person.”
Your best friend smiled as you hooked your arm through her elbow. “Of course you did. Now come on, let’s bring Zabini to his knees.” 
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Sprawled out on Mattheo’s bed, you flicked through the pages of your novel and waited for your boyfriend to return from practice. The trip to Hogsmeade had been a complete success. Just as you suspected, the little set you glimpsed through the lingerie store window looked absolutely stunning on Pansy. Blaise didn’t stand a chance. 
As a matter of fact, you’d given the two of them privacy tonight. They were due for a study session at your shared dorm tonight, but you quietly slipped out in the midst of their heated argument about the Goblin Rebellion and happily skipped off to your boyfriend’s room. 
Given the late hour, Mattheo was due back any second now. As if summoning him from your thoughts alone, your boyfriend sauntered into the room, looking sweaty and sexy from running though drills all afternoon. Mattheo grinned the second he spotted you on his bed. 
“Hi, princesa,” he greeted, his voice low and husky. 
”Hi, Matty.” You propped yourself up on your elbows and smiled. “How was practice?” 
“Absolutely fucking brutal,” Mattheo grunted as he pulled off his shoes. “Theo clobbered the fuck out of me, but I suppose it’s better him than the Ravenclaws. Mark my words, we’re going to beat those twats come Friday.” 
“I don’t doubt it, babe.” You pushed off the mattress and scooted closer to him. 
Mattheo licked his lips as you neared, breath hitching as you brushed his damp curls off of his forehead. You smirked and leaned in for a kiss. At the last second, Mattheo turned sharply, causing the kiss to land on his cheek instead of his lips. 
“I’m all sweaty,” he explained. You quirked a brow. Sweat, dirt, and grime had never stopped the two of you before, but you brushed it off. He was probably just wound up about winning. Mattheo smiled apologetically and kissed your temple. “Let me shower first and then we can cuddle, okay?’ 
You made the mistake of looking into those big, brown eyes. Damn him and his chocolate eyed gaze. The twat knew it was your weakness. 
“Fine,” you said as you crawled underneath the covers. “But hurry up, I’m getting tired.” 
Ten minutes later, you were fully engrossed in your book again. Just as it reached a particularly steamy scene, the door swung open, revealing a half-naked Mattheo. The white towel wrapped precariously around his trim waist gave you a perfect view of his toned chest and ripped abs, beads of water clinging onto his glistening skin like rain drops. You bit your lip as he tugged on a clean pair of boxers over his legs, cocking your head to appreciate the curve of his arse before he slipped into his sweatpants. 
Unaware of your ogling, Mattheo climbed into bed and wrapped his arms around you. “What are you reading, mi amor?” 
“Nothing that can’t wait,” you murmured, leaning in to kiss your boyfriend.
This time, Mattheo gladly accepted the kiss. His lips slanted over yours, sighing softly as you melted into him. Your kisses were soft and sweet, punctuated by cute little pecks that had your boyfriend smiling against your mouth. You took the opportunity to slide your tongue against his, making Mattheo groan as his fingers slipped through your hair. 
“Damn, mami. You missed me that much?” 
You rolled your eyes at his cocky smirk while you climbed into his lap and straddled him. Mattheo gripped your hips, moaning as your lips latched onto his neck. His pretty brown eyes rolled back as you left a trail of kisses along the column of his throat. You raked your nails along his chest, dragging red lines down to his abs, and tracing his happy trail as he captured your lips once more. Mattheo let out a choked groan as you tugged at his waistband. To your surprise, he grabbed your wrist and blinked up at you. 
“Y/N…” Mattheo said breathlessly. “Maybe we should…maybe we should go to sleep.” His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he tried and failed to swallow his own words. 
You raised a brow and settled over his lap, squirming against his hard length as Mattheo bit his lip. “You want to go to sleep? Right now? While I’m on top of you and willing to do whatever you want?” 
Your boyfriend looked pained. Conflict was evident on his face. Without a word, Mattheo nodded. 
“Oh my god,” you blurted in disbelief. “You agreed to that stupid sex ban, didn’t you?”
Mattheo groaned. “Only for a week, love. We really need to win this match.” 
You scoffed. This was absolutely ridiculous. “I know you, Mattheo. You aren’t going to last a week.” 
“Hey! Have a little faith in me.” 
Rolling off of him, you crossed your arms against your chest. “First of all, you didn’t even ask me if I’d be okay with it.” 
That seemed to be the wrong thing to say. With a shit-eating grin, Mattheo cocked his head at you. “It sounds to me like you’re the one who can’t last a week, princesa.” 
“Please,” you said with an eye roll. “I have my book boyfriends to keep me company. I can channel all my sexual energy into reading smut. You, on the other hand? You can’t even make it through class without dragging me into a broom closet.” 
Faster than you thought possible, Mattheo flipped you onto your back and pinned you to the mattress. A cocky smirk curved against his lips as he trailed them down your neck. “Oh?” he hummed, kissing the sweet spot just below your ear, his hand gripping the inside of your thigh, making you press your legs together to suppress the need. The bloody bastard. “But can your book boyfriends touch you like I can?” 
Channeling every ounce of self-control within you, a calm and unbothered expression clicked into place like a mask. You tugged at his curls, forcing him away from your neck. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about me, Matty. I’ll be just fine.” Mattheo released a choked groan when you palmed the front of his boxers. He twitched at your touch, his cock painfully hard. “Looks like you’re not doing too hot, though. Let me know if you need help. You know I’d be more than happy to give you relief, baby.” 
Mattheo cursed under his breath as his own plan backfired on him. Blood rushed down to his cock as you squeezed gently, making him harder and hornier than ever. You chuckled darkly as he grinded against your hand. With one last squeeze, you kissed his cheek and peeled yourself away from his bed. 
“You know where to find me, papi.”
He watched in disbelief as you gathered your things, cute little ass swaying farther and farther away from him as you hauled your bag over your shoulder. “You’re seriously leaving?” 
You smirked and waved at your boyfriend as you pulled the door open. “I have a hot date with my romance novel. Good luck with your pact, babe. You’ll need it.” 
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Merlin, Mattheo was going out of his fucking mind. 
For Salazar’s sake, he was starting to get the shakes and it had only been two days since he last had sex. Granted, it felt like an eternity since you were more than determined to get your boyfriend to break. Could lack of sex actually drive a person to the brink of insanity? Mattheo was pretty convinced that the answer was yes as he gaped at the lacy red bra peeking out under your white blouse. 
Had your clothes shrunk in the wash? Mattheo could’ve sworn that your shirt hadn’t been that tight before. You were nearly bursting out of it and the view of your tits pressed together as you leaned across the table to steal a blueberry off of his plate made his mouth water and his dick hard. 
“Stay strong, Riddle,” Theo whispered beside him. “We’ve got this.” 
Never in his life had he wanted to throttle Theo more. The only thing Mattheo had at the moment was a painful fucking boner. Three more days. That’s all he had to endure before they called off this stupid sex pact. 
He could make it. Couldn’t he?
As he looked up at you sucking on a strawberry, Mattheo’s confident wavered. You were truly testing what very little self control that he possessed. You were right when you said that your boyfriend couldn’t last a single class without dragging you into an empty broom closet. You were just so pretty and sexy and hot and that was when you weren’t trying. 
Now that you were determined to tease the fuck out of him, Mattheo didn’t stand a chance. 
All day, you focused on making his life an absolute living hell. Perching on his lap, fixing his tie, smiling prettily while you brushed his curls back and left glossy kiss prints all over his cheeks. His hands were in permanent fists, fingernails digging into the flesh of his palm so deeply that he wouldn’t be surprised to find himself bleeding. This was torture. Cruel and unusual punishment. 
The final straw came when the two of you were studying in the library later that night. Bouncing his leg, Mattheo forced himself to pay attention to the Ancient Runes textbook in front of him instead of ogling you from across the table. It wasn’t working though. Every few minutes, he caught himself glancing up at you. Your lips, your eyes, your hair. There was nothing sexual about you taking notes yet he was so turned on that he felt dizzy. 
Mattheo lowered his head, trying to keep cool. When he looked back up, you were no longer in your seat. Instead, you were reaching for a book on the shelves behind you. Whatever you were looking for was on the lowest shelves, so you bent down to retrieve it. When you did, your skirt rode up, revealing that you weren’t wearing any underwear. Mattheo hissed, scrambling to pull your skirt down. 
”What in Salazar’s name are you doing, Y/N?” Your boyfriend gripped your elbow, anger and frustration radiating off of him in waves. 
You blinked up at him, putting on an innocent smile. “Oh!” you exclaimed, placing a hand on Mattheo’s chest. “Did I forget to wear underwear? Silly me.” 
Your boyfriend groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. He muttered something under his breath repeatedly. Breathing exercises. You bit back a smirk. 
On his third count to ten, Mattheo finally opened his eyes. Without a word, he gathered your belongings and hauled you out of the library. He didn’t speak until the two of you were back in the dungeons. 
“I’m going to study in my room,” Mattheo declared as he handed you your book bag. “You’ll study in yours.” 
You grinned. “Oh, Matty. We both know the only thing you’ll be studying is your cock in your hand.” Mattheo tensed as you traced a finger down his jawline. “What a shame. I’d be more than willing to put an end to your misery if you just admit that the pact is stupid.” 
For Salazar’s fucking sake. Mattheo was so close to calling this whole thing off. He wanted you. Screaming underneath him. Crying from pleasure. Moaning his name. But he couldn’t. He had to stay strong. 
Mattheo sighed and kissed your temple. “Good night, mi amor. I love you. Even though you’re determined to drive me fucking mental.” 
You smiled before pulling him in by his tie. Mattheo groaned as you placed a sweet kiss on his lips, barely giving him a taste of what he wanted. “Love you too, Matty. Sleep tight. I hope you dream of me tonight.” 
With that, he watched you saunter off in the direction of your dorm, skipping through the common room without a care in the world. Mattheo stared up at the ceiling and counted to ten again. 
Friday could not come any fucking faster. 
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You had to admit that you were impressed. Your boyfriend had miraculously survived an entire week without sex. 
Despite your best efforts to thwart the stupid pact, Mattheo stayed true to his word. A pretty impressive feat given the fact that you’d practically thrown everything you had into seducing him. Sitting on his lap, licking your lips while he talked, kissing that sweet spot below his jaw, wearing your clothes shorter and tighter than ever, and even sleeping in his favorite silk red set, which you knew was particularly hard for him if the erection pressed against your back all night was any indication. 
Still, Mattheo withstood all of your attempts. 
You would’ve been upset had it not been for the fact that Mattheo looked absolutely pained by the whole ordeal. This entire week, his fists were permanently clenched at his side, his jaw locking and unlocking with every suggestive comment you threw his way, his eyes flickering over your body, groaning in frustration as he tortured himself by looking at what he couldn’t have. 
It was amusing to watch your boyfriend twitch at your every move. As you predicted, you fared better than Mattheo had. After all, you had a wild imagination and a collection of toys to hold you over. That wasn’t to say that you weren’t needy and aching for him, but you had ways of coping. 
“I’m so fucking glad it’s Friday,” Pansy grumbled beside you as she took a swig from her flask. 
After the whole bring Zabini to his knees plan failed, she’d been crankier than ever. Neither one of you expected either of your boyfriends to even make it this far without caving at least once. 
“Me too, babe. As much as I’m rooting for our boys, I can’t wait for this bloody game to be over. Win or lose, I know the sex is going to be insane.” 
Your best friend smirked as she handed you the firewhisky. “I’ll cheers to that, babe.” 
Surprisingly, the tension and frustration helped the boys play better than ever. They were ruthless on the field. Theo and Enzo were vicious as they defended the goalposts, giving way for Blaise and Mattheo to chase after the opposing beaters, nearly taking some poor bloke’s head off with a bludger. You almost felt bad for the Ravenclaws. 
When Draco caught the snitch, you cheered loudly. You and Pansy screamed until your throat felt raw and hoarse by the time the game was officially called. The two of you swayed as you descended from the stands, slightly inebriated from your generous swigs, but you didn’t mind. The liquor kept you warm and served as preparation for a night of drinking and debauchery for the common room party. 
Blaise wasn’t at all surprised that you and Pansy pregamed. In fact, he took the flask and downed the rest before tugging his girlfriend towards the castle. 
“Have fun, you crazy kids!”
Zabini chuckled. “Oh, we will. By the way, your boyfriend’s waiting for you in the locker room.” 
With a conspiratorial wink, Blaise wished you good luck as Pansy grinned from ear to ear. You chuckled before making your way over to the locker room. The doors opened, revealing a very smug looking Theo. With a frown, you swatted the back of his head. 
“Ow!” The brunette exclaimed, rubbing his newly acquired injury. “What was that for?” 
“For encouraging my boyfriend to agree to this stupid sex ban.” You crossed your arms and glared at your friend. “I know it was your idea, Theodore.” 
“Hey! We won the game, didn’t we? So obviously, my idea was brilliant.” 
“It was just dumb luck,” you replied with a scoff. “Honestly, I didn’t think you guys would take it so seriously. Especially you. You’re even worse than Mattheo. Celibacy for a week must’ve been hell, huh?” 
Theo shifted his weight, looking abashed. You narrowed your eyes at him as you read the guilt in his body language. “You little weasel! You caved, didn’t you?” 
“There was this really hot Ravenclaw…” 
“With the opposing team, too? You’re shameless, Nott.” 
“Please don’t tell the guys.” He looked genuinely contrite as he pleaded with his eyes. “They’ll murder me if they knew that I couldn’t even stick to my own pact.” 
You rolled your eyes. “Fine, but you owe me big time.” 
Theo smiled before leaning over to kiss your cheek. “You’re the best. I’d say see you at the party, but with how tense and insane your boyfriend has been, I probably won’t see you two for the next few days.” 
“I wonder who’s fault that is.” 
“The pact was my idea. Teasing him was yours. Honestly, he almost stabbed a fork through my hand because you bent over in front of him.” He smirked as he held the door open. “You’ve got that man on a tight leash.” 
You fought a smile. “Leave before I get the urge to hit you again.” Theo nodded, making his way out. “Oh, and congratulations on the win.” 
After a cheeky wink, Theo was gone. Leaving you to find your boyfriend on your own. When you rounded the corner, you could hear the sound of water running echoing off the tiled walls. You ventured farther in the stalls and found Mattheo standing underneath the scalding hot shower, tipping his head back against the spray. With a smile, you leaned against the wall and admired your boyfriend. Merlin, he really was beautiful. 
Mattheo was a sight to behold; biceps flexing, abs taut, and back muscles tense as he washed away the sweat and grime. Your gaze trailed down to his trim waist, licking your lips as your eyes snagged on his backside. The longing sigh you released gave you away. 
Water glistened on his skin as Mattheo looked over his shoulder, a playful smirk tugging at his lips as he surveyed you. Your boyfriend didn’t bother covering himself as he sauntered over to you. His chocolate brown eyes roamed over your body, smiling softly when he saw that you were wearing one of his jerseys. Mattheo traced over his surname embroidered right above your heart. 
“The Riddle name looks good on you, mi amor,” he whispered huskily, backing you against the tile. “I can’t wait to make it official one day.” 
You hummed while you tangled a wet curl between your fingers. “Oh? That won’t be happening any time soon, Matty.” Mattheo frowned as you caressed his cheek. “Not with the way you’ve neglected me this week.” 
“Don’t be like that. You know it was hell for me, princesa.” 
“I know,” you said with a grin. “I’m just teasing you. In reality, I’m kind of impressed. You didn’t cave once even when I threw everything I had at you. You were so good, baby. You crushed those Ravenclaws too.” Mattheo groaned as you kissed his jaw, nipping at his sweet spot. “Maybe the pact wasn’t so stupid after all.” 
Your boyfriend groaned as he gripped your hips and pinned you against the wall. “Oh, I won’t be doing that shit again.” Mattheo rested his hand on the base of your throat, eyes black and filled with lust as he squeezed. “It was torture not to touch you.” 
When you spoke, your voice sounded husky and seductive thanks to his possessive hold. “Could’ve fooled me. You seemed perfectly in control. So much so that maybe we should extend it another week. Abstinence really helps clear the mind, doesn’t it, baby?” 
Mattheo chuckled darkly. He knew you were baiting him. You weren’t used to not getting what you wanted in your relationship. Your boyfriend was well aware that he spoiled you rotten. You were going to make him work for it tonight, but he didn’t mind. In fact, the idea thrilled him. He wouldn’t have been dating you if he wasn’t up to the challenge. 
Without warning, Mattheo tugged you into the shower, making you squeal as the water soaked your clothes. He wasted no time before crashing his lips onto yours, claiming you in a starved and possessive way that had you gasping for breath. Your boyfriend was frantic as he hoisted you up and wrapped your legs around his waist. 
Mattheo sucked harshly at your flesh, his dark chuckle a seductive caress against your skin. You groaned as he grinded his cock against your clothed pussy, which was already throbbing and aching for him. “Brace yourself, sweetheart. We have a whole week to make up for and we’re not leaving here until you’re properly punished for teasing me like the little brat that you are.” 
You flashed him a saccharine smile. “Do your worst, baby.” 
“You’ll regret that, mami.” 
With a wicked grin, Mattheo slid your panties to the side and teased along your folds. He hissed when he felt how soaked you were, practically dripping down his fingers as he eased one into your pussy. You bit down on your lip as the delicious pressure awakened a familiar heat in your core. 
“Not so brave now, are you?” Your boyfriend taunted as he slowly fingered you. After going without, you were embarrassed to find that a simple touch was enough to set your teeth on edge. “This is payback, baby. Wearing those tiny little shirts with your lace bra peeking out. Bending over in front of me knowing that you had no panties on. Grinding on my lap and making me so fucking hard that I almost sprained my wrist wanking off in the restroom like a madman.” 
“I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not.” You rasped, groaning as Mattheo picked up the pace. “Not if this is what I get in return. I like when you’re rough, Matty. It makes me wet.” 
Your head lolled back as he added another finger, curving them inside of you and reaching that spongy spot that had you seeing stars. 
“Good,” Mattheo whispered as he nibbled at your earlobe. “Because I’m about to fuck you until you can’t walk.” 
The filthy words sent you over the edge. Mattheo flicked his thumb over your swollen clit and you clenched around his fingers. “I can feel you squeezing me, pretty girl. So fucking greedy, hm?” 
You let out a choked moan. Mattheo grabbed your wrist and slid your hand down his front. “Do you feel that, princesa? I’ve been hard as fuck for you all week. Are you gonna be a good girl and help me out?” 
“Yes,” you breathed out. “Let me take care of you, papi.” 
Mattheo twitched in your hand as you gripped him, tugging as he watched you with lust blown eyes. The intensity of his stare made butterflies erupt in your stomach. 
“I thought about this while getting myself off this week. Your hands. Your eyes. Your voice.” 
“I thought about you, too,” you confessed. “But it doesn’t compare to the real thing. God, you’re fucking sexy.” You rubbed your thumb over his tip, rubbing his precum over his head. Mattheo whimpered against your neck. “I missed you whimpering for me.” 
“I don’t whimper,” Mattheo countered. 
You raised a brow and picked up the pace, working him until his eyes rolled back. Despite his denial, Mattheo whimpered even louder this time. 
“You’re playing dirty, baby.” 
“I thought you liked it dirty, Matty.” 
“I do,” he said with a smirk before curving his long fingers inside of you. You shuddered as he hit that sweet spot. “Now come on, pretty girl. Come with me.” 
You nodded, picking up the pace and groaning as Mattheo pulled you in for a sloppy kiss. He licked the roof of your mouth, shuddering as he bucked into your hand. You tugged at him, coaxing him to cum as he panted against your neck. 
“Fuck. Don’t stop, baby. I’m so fucking close.” 
“Me too, Matty,” you whimpered, grinding against his fingers to take more. 
The orgasm crackled over you like a lightning strike, singing your veins with heat as your boyfriend continued to fuck you with his fingers. Mattheo wasn’t satisfied with one orgasm. He coaxed another out of you, laughing as you greedily bucked against his hand, biting into his shoulder while the second wave hit. 
By the time your third orgasm rolled around, you genuinely felt as though you’d left your own body. Mattheo only relented when your eyes rolled back and your legs trembled, cries of his name falling sweetly from your lips. 
“Tú eres dulce como el azúcar.”
You opened your eyes slowly and found Mattheo lapping up your cum, swirling and sucking his fingers clean with a smirk. You’re sweet like sugar. Though the words were seemingly innocent, Mattheo was anything but. Your boyfriend knew exactly how much it turned you on when he spoke Spanish and he was definitely using it to his advantage.
“That was just the appetizer, baby. Got you all warmed up for my cock. Think you can take it, Y/N?” 
“I’ve been waiting all week,” you responded hoarsely. 
“It’s worth the wait,” Mattheo declared cockily as he flipped you over. He stripped you of your clothes, carelessly tossing them behind his shoulder while he positioned your hands on the tiled wall. You groaned as he bent you at an angle, smacking your ass before he lined up behind you. “I promise to fucking ruin you, mi pinche puta.” 
Anticipation coiled in your stomach as Mattheo sank in slowly. Both of you groaned as he slid all the way in, twitching as he stuffed you full. It was familiar yet new at the same time. It had always been a tight fit, but given your involuntary break, you could feel yourself struggling to adjust to his size once again. 
Mattheo gripped your hips, leaving bruises in his wake as he slid all the way out. You whined at the loss, but it wasn’t long before he thrusted all the way back in, knocking the air out of your lungs as he set a punishing pace. You braced yourself against the tile as he spread your legs further apart, allowing him to hit an even deeper angle. 
“Oh fuck, how do you always feel so good?” Mattheo grunted as his hips snapped against your ass, brutally burying himself inside of your pussy over and over again. “You were made for me, princesa. We’re perfect together.”
”Matty, baby, please…”
You keened as Mattheo tugged you by the hair, kissing you sloppily as he continued to ruin you. He cupped your tits, flicking his thumb over your nipples as he squeezed your flesh between his rough, calloused hands. Mattheo kneaded your breasts and used the momentum to drive deeper. His palm trailed down your torso, pressing against your stomach to feel himself moving with each thrust. 
Tears streaked your cheeks as your eyes rolled back. “Oh gods. Fuck me. Right there, baby. You fill me up so good. I love being full of you.” 
“Yeah?” Mattheo drawled as his hand crawled up your throat. “You like when I fuck you rough? Deep down, you just want to be treated like a slut. Don’t you, princess?” 
“I do,” you breathed, groaning as Mattheo squeezed your neck. “But I’m only a slut for you, Mattheo.” 
“Damn fucking right, baby.” He said proudly. “This pussy is mine. All fucking mine.” 
You clenched, squeezing him so tightly that Mattheo felt like he might cum then and there. “So greedy. Milking me fucking dry. God, you’re perfect. Mi princesa, mi vida, mi amor.” Your boyfriend shuddered as you grinded against him, picking up the momentum as the two of you neared euphoria. “That’s it, baby. Just like that. Fuck, I’m gonna cum—“
”Cum inside me, Matty. I want to feel you. I want all of it.” 
Mattheo cursed, his body seizing as he came with a loud cry. The sensation of him filling you to the brim, his hot cum dripping out of you and coating the inside of your thighs was enough to send you over the edge. You trembled as the orgasm hit you all at once and nearly passed out from the sheer force of it. 
Fortunately, strong arms wrapped around you before your legs could give out from underneath you. Mattheo pulled you against him, holding your trembling body as you came down from the high. You leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder as he cleaned you up. Your boyfriend took his time washing your body, taking great care when it came to your sensitive core. 
You smiled up at him as he lathered shampoo into your hair, letting you return the favor and sighing in satisfaction as you scratched his scalp. Mattheo grinned, flashing you a lovesick smile as you rinsed the product out of his hair. 
“I love you so fucking much,” he whispered softly. 
“I love you more,” you countered.
”Impossible.” 
After the two of you dried off, you leaned against the wall and allowed Mattheo to clothe you in his hoodie and sweats. He tied your shoes before giving you a sweet peck. 
“Ready, princesa?” 
You nodded and took his hand. Without the support of the solid wall, your legs wobbled as you struggled to walk. Mattheo caught you around the waist, a smirk tugging at his handsome face. 
“I warned you, Y/N.” He looked entirely too smug and satisfied for your liking. “Told you I’d fuck you until you couldn’t walk.” 
Your boyfriend chuckled as you rolled your eyes. “Poor baby. Don’t worry, mi amor. Let your Matty take care of you, hm?” 
“I take it back. I kind of hate you right now, Mattheo.” 
You squealed as he picked you up bridal style. He didn’t even break a sweat as he carried you across the field. “No, you don’t. But you can fuck me like you do.” 
“Deal.”
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tbaluver · 2 months ago
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May I request the LaD boys reactions to you sending them a video of you playing with yourself while they're away?
Sending Them A Dirty Video When Their Away- The Love And DeepSpace Men
parings in order: Xavier x fem!Reader, Zayne x fem!Reader, Rafayel x fem!Reader, Sylus x fem! Reader genre: MDNI, 18+, suggestive content, masturbation ( all ) , facetime sex ( Rafayel ) a/n: hi anonnie! i hope this was okay and that you enjoy reading! i'm suppose to be doing a quiz and studying right now but i wanted to finish writing this hehe any likes and reblogs are always appreciated! enjoy!
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆
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Xavier:
He was so lucky to be split from his team during his mission when you sent him a video. He thought it would be you winning another plushie at a claw machine but he was so so wrong. It was so much better than that. His teeth sank down into his lips as he watched you stroke yourself with one hand as your other grabbed your breasts. He feels like he could cum right now, his cheeks a dark shade of pink as he watches your video on repeat.
𖠌:  ( ´ཀ` )
𖠌: not fair angel
He sends that as he fights the urge to relieve the tension in his pants. He makes sure to check his surroundings that nobody was nearby before pulling out his throbbing cock, slowly stroking it while he holds his phone with his other hand.
“n-need to hear you angel, please”
He breathes heavily into his voice message that he sent you, speaking as softly as he can to avoid being caught. You call him immediately after he sends that, your sultry tone invading his ears, “cum for me my sweet boy” Multiple images of you invade his mind. Images of your pretty mouth wrapped around his cock and your pretty eyes looking up at him like he’s the most important person in the world. How he swirled his tongue around one of your buds as he pinched your other nipples, rolling them around between his pointer finger and his thumb. He bucks his hips into his fist, spilling warm white trails down his length.
𖠌: i’ll make this mission quick
𖠌: need to see you
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Zayne:
Zayne was away for a couple days for another research project and you missed him so much.
You’d send him a video, angling to show you wearing his favorite lingerie, slowly remove the thin clothing to tease him. You’d cup your breasts and roll your sensitive nipples between your fingers, your eyes fluttering shut as your mouth slowly starts to part.
When Zayne glanced down at his phone and saw the notification of a video from you, he immediately knew you were up to something mischievous. He had to excuse him and retreat back to his room to watch the video you sent. He’d suck in his breath and just groan at the sight, wishing and wanting to fuck you senseless.
☃︎: must you always do this to me when i’m away?
You’d send him another video, alone and naked in that big empty bed. His eyes tracked every movement of your body on his phone. One hand gripping his phone as he closely examines how your hand slipped in between your legs. How you whined for him and how much you missed him.
His jaw clenches, springing his stiff cock free as he replayed the video over and over again. He starts to pump his cock slowly, wanting to be inside of your tight and soaking cunt so bad. Zayne’s mind only clouds with how much you’d cream around his cock or how your mouth or hands feel so much better than his hands. You're the only thing on his mind as he watches the video on repeat. Your fingers pulsing in and out of your pussy, becoming wetter from your own arousal. He imagines it's your hand wrapped around his cock, stroking him.
“h-hah-” He throws his head back against the seat as he fists his cock harder, tightening the grip until thick streaks of his cum leak out of him. He raises the phone and sends you a quick photo of the mess you caused.
☃︎: don’t think that i don’t miss you too.
☃︎: when we reunite, i’ll gladly help you get off.
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Rafayel:
You’re so mean for sending him a video when he was out for an art exhibition tour in a different country. Anytime you two were apart, he was always needy and seeing a couple seconds of your video with your legs spread wide open and two fingers sinking in and out of your cunt and whining his name,  made him almost whine on the spot.
𓆟: ( 。 • ᴖ • 。) you’re so mean to me
𓆟: gimme one sec cutie
He would try to find a way to slip out of the art exhibition and find himself back into his hotel room that was nearby. He’d put his phone on mute so Thomas doesn’t bother spam calling or texting him.
𓆟: you know i can’t do this, i need you
He facetime called you in less than a minute before he sent that message
He moves to prop the camera up so you can see the full view of him unbuttoning his top slowly, teasing you as he exposes his muscular chest. He then reaches for the buttons on his pants before hooking his fingers into his waistband and lifting his waist to pull it down. His cock springs free and hits against his lower abdomen, his eyes locking in on you. You can’t help but let your eyes wander down his muscles, lingering at the bulge until it was fully released from his trousers. His smirks in amusement to see your mouth parted open hungrily and needy just at the sight of him.
“You should close your mouth cutie, you might catch some flies in there.”
You both adjust the camera angles to ensure you both have a complete view of one another before beginning
Gently you rub circles over your clit, trying to mimic how he would with his pretty fingers. It drives you mad, making you bite your lips as you moan his name loudly. You drag out his name, your pussy desperately trying to clench onto something as you reel your head back in pleasure. Increasing the speed until you start to match the sound of his fist pumping his cock over the phone.
“want you soso bad” He whines, pumping faster with the sounds of your cunt squelching in the background makes him throb. “cum with me raf” your sultry voice drove him mad, cursing under his breath as he felt his seed leaking from his tip. He knows you’re close as gasps escape your mouth and how he watches the coil in your stomach snap, gushing your juices around your fingers. “‘s pretty. can’t wait to come home and fill that pretty hole.”
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Sylus:
Sylus was away for an important auction. Despite it being important, nothing truly captivated him, his thoughts were solely on coming back home to you. His eyebrows quirked in amusement when he saw a notification of a video you had sent him. He excused himself letting Luke and Kieran handle the matters in their own hands as he made his way back upstairs in his hotel room.
𓅪:  showing me what i’m missing princess?
He smirks once he opens your video, arousal washing over him, entertained by seeing the angle of your perky tits bouncing and his favorite pussy that was sobbing and clenching just for him. The way you moaned and panted just for him was music to his ears.
Before you could send him another video, he was already quick to reply with one of his own.
“Is this what you expected, princess?”
He flashes a smirk to the camera before lowering it to show his shirt slightly lifted to give you a glimpse of his sculpted abs and his long fingers wrapped around his cock, his tip crimson as he slowly strokes it. Small groans flutter through his lips when he fists over the tip.
“all just for you princess.”
He says in the video, pre-cum dripping down his length and his muscles flexing on his stomach from the perfect angle he had. Your fingers were so deep into you, pounding relentlessly into your pussy. You replay the video again and again, watching him stroke his cock harder and you can taste your sweet release. Once you feel the heat pooling to your throbbing cunt, you make sure to send it to him. This time instead of a video, he sends a voice message, “did my princess cum thinking about me? i wish you were here, i need my pretty girl.”
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