#and i'm just weary
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life right now is just a series of adult tasks i am dreading every waking hour
and as soon as i'm done with one there's another waiting
#have to drop my car off at the shop tomorrow and get the rental#and i feel like even though i've chased down the loose threads on this that it's not going to work out smoothly#either they won't pick me up or there'll be some problem at the rental place#and then i've got to email the contractor about the house after that#and i'm just weary#i wish i could waste time and money on things that bring me joy instead of things that stress me out
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my old blorbos are back in my brain
heart pirates my absolute beloved. shame theyre chillin somewhere in the ocean lol (do not mention the pre-time skip hats of penguin and shachi I'm still attached even tho its already been a million years since then)
anyway every time i remember that Law and Kid are assigned german and Scottish by Oda i gain one hundred years
#one piece#trafalgar law#heart pirates#penguin#shachi#kidlaw#weary sigh- i am never getting out of this place#OP has been in my brain since -checks watch- like 2016 I think? and there is no escape#like every few months this stupidass anime/manga just grabs my brain again for a month or so hdjkhkd#its terminal#anyway as a long time enjoyer of heart pirates-crys-hjdsfhkdhfk#i come back after a long time and this is the status update i get??? anyway fly high polar tang o7#btw if theres any mistakes in the german bits I'm sorry i did study german for a few years as my third language of choice but#im not super confident in it so hdsjfhk sorry#but the first bit with vergo is partly a reference to a meme that i saw some time ago and that completely took me out#and should translate i think into 'yea yea whatever. you wanker' and 'sorry. you(formal) wanker'#hajsdhkd#and the one with kid hopefully says 'oh yeah mirrors can be scary'#oh well and thats about it cheers#id say read one piece but actually dont its at 1088 chapters now#and just the catching up that i did in the past few days absolutely took me out lmao#but hey this is prolly my oldest going-on fandom that i still feel the need to come back from time to time lol o7
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OK @taylortruther reblogging her post made me go back and watch the whole BBC Live Lounge performance and her introduction to Can't Stop Loving You is SO revealing in retrospect regarding so many of the themes we've been talking about lately in her later albums.
"The type of love that this song sings about is unconditional love. People say that term all the time and they kinda think that they know what unconditional love is, but I think true unconditional love is, like, do you love someone so much that you would even love them if they didn't love you anymore? That is unconditional love."
Um, "hoax" has entered the chat. 😳
I feel like that goes a long way to explaining why she may have believed "hoax" was romantic, and why "grey skies everyday, would you still stay" was the ultimate expression of love. "Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in" makes a lot more sense in this context, holding onto someone who's drifting away or showing that they may not love you in the way you need or in the way you'd once been. It's kind of heartbreaking because she's so earnest and so emphatic about it, but it's actually so sad in the context of ~everything~.
Help me hold onto you. That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend. And I can't talk to you when you're like this, staring out the window like I'm not your favorite town. Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in. Don't want know other shade of blue but you. I'll be getting over you my whole life. Like waiting for a bus that never shows you just start walkin' on. Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away. I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath.
(My personal opinion is that unconditional love isn't loving someone even if they leave you; it's loving someone for who they are, including their challenges, and not seeing it as a transaction but an action. ANYWAY. Semantics I guess. I find the way she explains it really devastating tbh.)
(video timestamped @ 19:27)
youtube
Unrelated: I need an entire show done acoustically like this please and thank you because the entire performance is 🤌
#hoax#writing letters addressed to the fire#this is sooooooooo 😵💫#rae i hope you're happy with yourself lmao#her performances in this video are so beautiful#like the holy ground one is just stunning#and it even made me like [redacted] which is a skip for me usually lol#but what strikes me is that she just seems so so tired#which i'm sure she must have been given the promo cycle#but it just seems like... weary#not unlike the red tv promo#but in a different way#but i know she was going through a lot with her family at the time so i'm guessing that was part of it idk#Youtube
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hey p this is nobody you know but do you have thoughts about depot mouse seeing something they shouldn't have seen? 😇
hello friend! (who i definitely don't know, no siree) i waffled over this and my search results are now full of dubiously legal activities that i definitely haven't ever seen in practice, not even once mr/ms/mx GCHQ person checking online traffic. (i also got distracted by portakabin set ups, but that's a separate issue.) and then my brain spat this out for the tradieverse.
does it answer the prompt? eh, vaguely. but i hope you'll be pleased with it.
tags/tw: non-sexual semi-nudity, russian pet names (pchelka = little bee, myshka = mouse, milaya = darling/sweetie/dearest), light angst at the end, and a very brief mention of choking.
author's note: barely skimmed for typos and bad grammar as always and a patented (by @/391780) abrupt ending because i couldn't figure out how to end it and it was getting away from me.
at this point, you're certain nikolai thinks it's funny to have you running around after him. flitting from your office to the driver's "lounge" (another portakabin, this time outfitted with a row of lockers, a sagging sofa, a table and set of scattered chairs, and a small kitchenette area), you yank open the door and your waspish comments die on your tongue.
nikolai is leaning against the counter of the kitchenette. in his pants. in just his pants.
unbidden your eyes skate over his broad shoulders, down over a glimmering gold chain that is nestled in thick, dark hair that spreads wildly over his chest to a soft stomach, to land on the tightest pair of black briefs you've ever seen.
"hello, myshka." nik's voice snaps you out of your staring and you feel heat flooding your cheeks as you tear your gaze away from his... underwear to meet his amused brown eyes.
"i, um, i was looking for you." you absolutely do not let your eyes drop below his neck as nik redistributes his weight as he laughs.
"and now you have found me." nik grins, a flash of surprisingly white teeth considering the amount of black tea and cigarettes he imbibes.
"yes, i wanted to - sorry, but why exactly are you in your pants?" you blurt out.
nik shrugs his broad shoulders and you drag your gaze up to look just past his left ear where a damp lock of black hair curls lazily.
"my clothes are wet." he says simply, like that explains everything. it probably does, knowing the very little you do know about nik.
there's a beat of silence where nik continues to grin and you ignore the way your neck and face are blazing with heat.
"right." you clear your throat uncomfortably. "anyway, i need your receipts."
"it's no problem, i've already handed them to farah." nik waves your words off with a lazy flap of his hand.
"yes, it is a problem! you can't just hand your receipts off to the head of the company, nikolai!" you huff irritably and nikolai interrupts you with a loud boisterous laugh.
"ah, pchelka." he sighs fondly, "always so busy running around, you miss what's right in front of your nose."
that brings you up short and you scowl furiously at him. of course he would think that, all he has to worry about to getting from the depot to the job site and back again. he isn't having to chase wayward drivers around for scraps of paper, or answering the phone to a disgruntled jonathan price when he can't get hold of nikolai, or answering emails with the subject line "how much 4 hardcore??" that you hope to god have come from a bot and not some sad, lonely weirdo thinking that a haulage company offers pornography.
the grin on nik's face flickers slightly and you see his eyes are no longer amused, but soft, almost apologetic.
"sweetness, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to imply-"
"it's fine." you interrupt him, your tone has gone flat and professional despite the way frustration burns at your lungs, urging you to unload all of your irritation on the man. "i'll just go ask farah for the receipts."
nik takes a step towards you.
"milaya -"
"no, really nik." you turn away to push at the door, "thank you for your help as always." you shove open the door and stomp across the dirt to the office you share with farah, leaving nik behind you in his underpants.
(later in the afternoon, after you had emailed farah to send you copies of nikolai's receipts, you lean back in your chair and refuse to let your mind drift back to the glittering gold chain resting on nik's collarbone.
and if you do, it's only because you're thinking about wrapping it around your fist to strangle the insufferable man with it, honest. )
#tradie!141#nikolai#nikolai x reader#i've realised i mention portakabins a lot in this universe but they truly are the backbone to most work sites#blessed portakabins where i can sit my weary bones on an uncomfortable chair and drink my coffee in relative peace#and eavesdrop on the gossip 👀#anyway i hope you enjoy this!#tw choking#<- just in case#there's no smut in this - i'm using the banner as a blanket statement that i don't want minors interacting with my blog/writing!
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i think something that frustrates me about ted and rebecca even beyond the whole no-romance thing (crying forever btw 😢) is that they never really got to have a coherent storyline together again after s1 and the christmas episode, and uh ..... i think it would have been cool to have more of those shared between the two leads of the show. like, in a way, i think i would have been more okay with it not being shippy if they'd had more storylines and more of a definitive overall series arc together, because presumably then at least we would have seen them interact regularly enough and in a variety of conditions enough that i would've gotten more of a feel for why it wasn't a romantic thing and what, in fact, it was? i don't know! i just really wish they'd given that dynamic wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy more to do and way more interest after s1. it just felt like they were deliberately written to be ships in the night, all the time, no harbor ever, which feels crummy. like, s1 sets them up to be very close friends with these parallel struggles, but then they barely have even a shared b-plot together ever again after the christmas ep. the closest thing is one shared scene followed up by one phone call in 3.08, right? and then the series finale, where they do actually finally have three whole related scenes together, shock of all time.
anyway. so weird. SO WEIRD! such a funky writing choice that i am not a fan of.
#what was the arc post-s1? I HAVE NO IDEA!#why couldn't they have more of an ARC that got ATTENTION?#i think it's just because the show was done with their dynamic as something to explore in-depth after s1 but. ouch.#weird flex as a writing move#dollsome's deep thoughts#ted x rebecca#tedbecca#sorry if this doesn't make any sense. i still have the vestiges of influenza brain!#ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THERE WAS SO MUCH ABOUT THEIR TWO CHARACTERS THEY COULD'VE POTENTIALLY BONDED OVER!#but instead as far as we know they never even found those things out about each other!#including things like if ted ever even frickin' got a frickin' voicemail from her! are we high-maintenance for wanting to find out?#okay i'm shutting up now. i swear.#anyway: objectively i don't think this relationship was well written after s1#where i found it one of the most well-written onscreen dynamics i'd seen in a long time. weary sigh.
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Them. (Volume XXVII)
#sebaciel#brothers I am growing weary#I miss them so desperately#I was just flipping through my books and saw them together and started weeping#I'm worried about Snake but I also am so eager to get to Brighton#please mother we are starving
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had a fun little dream of Future Leo meeting Feral Leo and it's been consuming my mind all day
#feral!leo acts like a cat#a very very very VERY dangerous cat#future!leo is just having a time#not a good time. not a bad time. just....a time#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#leo hamato#future leo#my art#sonny draws#weary and wild au#<- i really wanna flesh this out bc i'm cackling at the thought of these two getting along
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I'm tired of the idea that passing as a trans person is something you either are or aren't, that it is innate, and if you pass, you pass in every scenario otherwise, you don't pass, and if you don't pass, and it's because you aren't doing enough/aren't transitioning enough/aren't enough of your gender.
I'm tired of the idea that passing is this clearly defined phenomenon that happens to us all if we try hard enough, and that it's inherently our fault if we can't magically pass in every fucking scenario known to man.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#transphobia#transphobia tw#like passing is already complex and i hate that so many treat it like black and white#that's why i hate being told i pass or that i pass and so my voice is less impactful#because maybe i pass as a man 99% of the time but. i can never pass as a cishet man and that impacts how i am treated#and i simply can't pass in some situations. i'm treated like a third scarier gender in many circumstances and that matters!#it matters because it's transphobia and it *will* impact other people#we can acknowledge that passing *can* contribute to how somebody is treated *without* making sweeping statements that silence others y'know?#and i just don't know if some people are ready for the amount of nuance and care that that takes#it's getting to the point where i am weary of language surrounding passing#like even when i passed maybe 10% of the time i still felt like i wasn't heard by others and it's frustrating#like it feels like it's 'you pass so you don't understand this' or 'you don't pass so you don't understand this'
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To the motherfucker who said, shit tier angst is shit tier, about Home and Away:
Are you satisfied with your care now?
#every time i think of that review i laugh#look at them now#also i have grown so weary of people invalidating enid in this story#and also those who have missed the entire point#I've been debating just turning off comments for YMU because man I'm fucking tired
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Imagine somehow David was killed and turned into a puppet, forced to spend eternity with his creations. How screwed would he be?
Ima be honest I really like this as a post-cannon idea, all the puppets escaping and David simultaneously getting to experience the same fate he condemned so many others to, while also kinda getting a new start.
#dhmis#two of us AU#two of us!David#two of us!Red#two of us!Roy#two of us!Lesley#doodles#art#i'm not too sure on the events leading up to this but thats never stopped me before#I think that Red is still really pissed at David at first but then David's all like 'I did what!?🥺 '#and he's so pathetic about it that Red who at this point can barely even remember the incident is just like 'I cant even be angry right now#All of the puppets are still definitely weary of him though#forgiven maybe but definitely not forgotten#I think Red goes back to college#maybe reconnects with his family#Black magic is something at least sorta known about in this universe so its a tragedy not unexplainable to the general public#Red pseudo adopts Roy and Lesley cause those two are WAY too traumatized to live on their own#david is also there
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The ineffable and ever-mysterious Cover Anon, who's gifted me not one but five fic covers for Shanties, has done it again, with the most stunning cover for my recently completed Mnemosyne, this time by the brilliant Checheven.
I am beyond words. What an incredible gift after finishing this fic.
#I am failing at writing articulate tags but this is so beautiful and it's SUCH A FANTASTIC COVER FOR THIS FIC#IT LOOKS LIKE A GENUINE NOVEL#THE COLOURS AND THE COMPOSITION#SHANKS AND MAKINO#AND ROWAN#(even Ceto I am cryinggggg)#I'm still recovering from the final chapters and this just came and swept my feet out#woke my husband up this morning to shove my phone in his face to show him this#but oh it's so bold and vivid and I love this artist's style so much#Makino is SO beautiful and serious Shanks is everything and the little menace herself is *perfect*#Cover Anon I...don't even know what to say??#I love all of these covers more than I can put into words and I will never be over this gift<3#Shanks x Makino#Red-Haired Shanks#One Piece Makino#Shanties for the Weary Voyager#Shanties art
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Value study / painting practice with various blorbos to kick off spooky season
Closeup versions:
#my ârt#personal blorbos#fnaf daycare attendant#moondrop#digital painting#zephyr oc#I'm not still thinking about cryptid sightings wdym#this took like... 8 hours total#moon took the longest#'just do some value studies to warm up it'll be quick'#weary sigh#can you tell how much I've been practicing in between posts#if you read this far I'm handing you a fresh fruit of your choice#all of this painted on a single layer I am in pain
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just one of those nights again (thought about n so hard i started Physically feeling sad like theres a weight on my chest)
#clai speaks#this is not something people should be doing.#got reminded of the fact that the bw ending theme is called Onward to Our Own Futures AUGHHHH#everyone starting the next chapters of their lives going on to better times#n's future now truly being His Own. no one will treat him like a tool or a puppet again#on the flip side. their futures are Only their own. n is alone. protag chases him without leads. cheren and bianca left behind#those two left being too busy to see each other much. the disappearance of their third friend probably contributing to the rift#on just n's part it was probably for the best for him. finally not being tethered to anyone he Had to go explore that newfound freedom#i dont blame him for leaving the Second he had the chance i wouldn't want to stay where i was either#its just unfortunate he and protag didn't have a way to contact each other after once he'd had time to cool off#n valuing his friends so much but being so so bad at making them and listening to them. i'm gonna be sick i'm ill i'm weary#cannot stand him or like. any other bw character i need this game erased from existance so i may know peace again#i mean i think typing this post isnt helping me i think i feel worse. oops! anyway
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redeemed Gort au....He gets tadpoled instead of durge....hregrgrggrr...
#so many thoughts about this au#he meets Karlach and she tries to kill him but he's like “woah there i have amnesia I'm sorry for selling you”#and she's constantly weary of him despite him doing good actions#and sometimes scamming people but he's still good#he meets Ketheric and bro starts having war flashbacks because now that gort is back he has to deal with gort and lythe making out again#OH YEAH LYTHE#lythe gets visited by bhaal and bane and bane is like#“yo you're kinda swaggy and my chosen is gone#wann be my new chosen?“#and lythe says sure and lets orin take her place as Bhaal's chosen#and then gort gets to Baldur's gate and lythe goes fucking crazy and tells him “kill my sister” and he goes “ok” because bhaalspawn pussy#goes hard#anyways she's archduchess of Baldur's gate and reminds gort that he's chosen of bane#and then gort goes to kill orin and then tries to go to the iron throne but the keyword here is tried because#lythe catches him and leaves him and the gang to die#but he leaves and then finds Lythe at the morphic pool with the netherstones#and she's fucking crazy so she tries to kill him#but fails and disappears#and then they save the world YIPPE#Sorry for the note rambles I'm just autistic#bg3#enver gortash#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate 3#cedar rambles#bg3 gortash
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.
#tis that time of the month (a few days before my period. yay for having pmdd lol) where i just.#wanna DELETE my entire presence off of the internet 🥲#LIke. delete my tumblr blogs. delete my fics/comics. delete my webtoon. delete my insta/socials/youtube...#mainly bc i feel like my art/stories are worthless and there's no point in pretending they're worth continuing :')#anyway. I know this will pass as soon as my period starts..#Or at least. usually I'm 'over it' within a few days#but yeah. Feeling kinda like there's nothing i can contribute.. that hasn't been done (better) already by someone else :')#funky's personal tag#also don't worry. I have yet to act on these feelings other than post these pathetic self pitying personal posts LMAO#So feel free to ignore. I'll probably be back to normal in a day or two#i always feel like this but i don't always get weary from it i suppose 🤔 that's what having a complete lack of self esteem will do to ya 😅#delete later
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@healingbrews said:
PINNED + Reverse [Hakkai]
My muse pins yours against a wall || Accepting!
He moved as fast as lightning. With heightened senses, he acted purely out of instinct, pinning the one who approached against the nearest wall. Funny - they always seem to find themselves in this situation, only something was off this time. Probably to do with the fact that Hakkai was for some reason missing his power limiters, thus the pointed ears and yellowish left eye staring her down.
He had a clawed hand against the wall right by her head, from which dark vines traveled across the surface and crept up her shoulders, steadily coiling down her arms to effectively ensnare their victim. His other hand hovered, poised to strike at any given moment.
For a moment though, his gaze almost seemed to waver, as though only then realizing who it was he had in his grasp. Then something clicked, as he leaned in with a ghost of a smile to whisper-
"...You deserve better."
#youkai!hakkai: it's me. i'm better#healingbrews#enigmatic smiles || hakkai#shall we traverse this never-ending road. just us weary souls || hakkai/hinoka
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