#and i'm aware that there is so much more to their mess than this
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baphometsss · 19 hours ago
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I don't wanna sit here and act like I'm a professional or anything, because I'm not, but as someone who has had to do a lot of work to overcome trauma and reconfigure my brain more or less from the ground up, there's a lot I have to say about Solas's mental state
We know that Solas was essentially used and abused by Mythal for millennia. Even if he wasn't under a geas, he was twisted from his purpose by being made to fight, and then created the Wolf's Fang which was used to make the Titans tranquil and started the Blights. He made those choices himself, but it's important to understand that no choice is ever made in a vacuum. She took advantage of his vulnerability when he was given a body after however long as a spirit semi-existing peacefully in the Fade, and moulded him into a weapon.
He is broken, because Mythal broke him. I'm not incapable of seeing why she did what she did because like I said, no one makes choices in a vacuum and I could write about her for a long time too (in a similar way to how I have had to do myself in my own life in understanding why others abused me). He was so traumatised by everything that happened and he was trauma bonded to Mythal pretty much from the minute he gained a body. Trauma bonds are not about love. He definitely interpreted it that way, as most people do, but that's the weapon abusers use to keep the victim under their control. Abuse abuse abuse show a scrap of love and then abuse some more. If I just take it, I'll get the love/attention I need. I will earn it, because love is suffering, and I have to suffer to earn getting my basic needs met from my family/friends. Mythal, as his creator, was the one who he would've attached to in a similar way to spirit Cole/human Cole.
Trauma bonds are pathological. Mythal made him believe that if he did as she asked, and kept supporting her, then eventually he would gain her favour and they would be able to free all the elves, and he'd be able to live according to his true nature, which is one where he doesn't have to fight. (Remember his personal quest in DAI? He actually kills the rebel mages for corrupting his friend--another Wisdom spirit--into Pride.) In reality, she was just using him. She always kept the bone just out of reach for her lapdog. The line from Rook where they say (paraphrasing here) 'you know, I was actually excited about getting your approval... That's how you do it, isn't it? Keeping giving little scraps of approval to keep someone loyal, and then you turn around and betray them' is so telling too.
Where--or from whom--do you think he learned to do this?
It literally reeks of a pathological trauma bond and honestly, with how isolated, 'grim and fatalistic' Solas is, it is not a surprise that he's so broken.
Solas, essentially, is little more than a lap-dog to Mythal. He followed her like a lost puppy, because especially in his early days, that's kind of what he was. You have to remember that most of the insight we get about Mythal is from Solas's perspective, and he is not a reliable person when it comes to her after so long being repeatedly terrorised and twisted and manipulated. There are several instances where he describes being betrayed by her, and mentions some of the things she did, but he never quite holds her fully accountable and ends up directing his rage elsewhere. (The parallel between Mythal/Solas and the rebel mages/Wisdom is important here.)
This awesome post by @mythalism only reinforces this. He is so messed up in that scene, he is broken, he is holding the Wolf's Fang up, trying to give it to her because it symbolises the burden he has carried for thousands of years trying to avenge her death. He never wanted the Fang, like he never wanted a body. Mythal just stands over him, fully aware of what she did to him, and only getting him to stop because Rook petitioned her successfully, and the reunion with the more benevolent Mythal within Morrigan tempered her anger. She was a goddess, with the unequal power dynamic, right to the end.
As a side note, on the potential romance element between Mythal and Solas, I read an excellent breakdown of it on Reddit a while ago about how out of character it would've been for Solas to keep something like that from a romanced Lavellan, especially in Trespasser when he comes clean about his plan/past. I can't find it now because it was pre-Veilguard release, but it made a lot of sense to me. Solas and Lavellan never have a love scene in DAI because Solas didn't want to 'lay with them under false pretences'. Lying about who you are when sleeping with someone is nonconsensual. You can't consent to sleeping with someone if you don't know their true identity, and someone who knowingly lies about who they are to get into your pants is a sexual predator. For someone who led a slave rebellion (no doubt many of them being sex slaves), and a former spirit of Wisdom, Solas would've been well aware of this. In the unsent letter from Solas to Lavellan he says he came so close to breaking and desperately wanted to stay with them as Solas, with the implication being that that is where he planned to sleep with them once he'd come clean. But because he stops, because he's still unable to forgive himself or release himself from his trauma bond with Mythal, he breaks away, and they never have sex.
Bottom line: Solas would've been honest about it. Especially that. As the Inquisitor says, he can't lie about his heart.
And it's why the Solas/Lavellan romance is so powerful because quote, 'you change everything'. Solas thought he knew what love was, that love was loyalty, devotion, worship, etc. It's not just his plans or worldview that Lavellan changes. Lavellan sees him for who he is, without the mantle of Dread Wolf, and because of that he's able to express his true nature to her, even if he's not being totally honest in Inquisition. Lavellan got much closer to the real him than most, as he says, and changed his understanding of love completely. Unfortunately, he has unfinished business, an unresolved trauma bond, and his crushing sense of duty to the past is what keeps him from taking that final step towards letting go of it entirely. Trick also says Solas doesn't think he deserves love, which tbh is kind of a hallmark trait of people who have survived abuse.
And honestly? Call me a simp but I think he really was trying to get the Inquisitor to stop him. He saw himself being unable to let go because he was so broken and burdened by his guilt, and knew he couldn't save himself--was too proud to admit that he couldn't, because how pathetic does it make him look? And how could he stop now without rendering all the damage he'd wrought pointless? Yet here was someone who had changed him right down to his core, who understood him in a way few people ever had, whom he trusted, whom he loved in a way he hadn't loved anyone else before. It took him 'centuries' to build up rapport with the members of his rebellion. The man doesn't not know how to form attachments without trauma, and suddenly he forms a strong one with someone who loves him completely and without condition. It's a jarring change.
Lavellan says that maybe they're being prideful themselves, refusing to see their own folly. But I think in admitting that they might be wrong, that it might be wishful thinking borne from misguided love to a truly terrible person, they've rendered the point moot. It shows self-awareness, which isn't folly.
If anyone can make Solas understand true love, it's Lavellan. Lavellan loved him when he was being his true self. Lavellan loved him after his betrayal was revealed. Lavellan loved him when his guilty conscience and terrible actions almost destroyed the world. Lavellan loved him because they knew the real him, and knew that his heart and spirit were broken, and knew that their love would endure, that their love would heal him.
And that's exactly where they end up. Healing the past, soothing the Blight, and loving one another completely.
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tbhyknow · 1 day ago
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𝗦𝗪𝗘𝗘𝗧 𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠𝗦 !
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summary, after overworking yourself pass your usual hours to handling your unit and preparing for a big event, you ended up sleeping while hanging out with them.
featuring, mayoi ayase, arashi nakurami && ibara saegusa w/ gender-neutral!reader (romantic, separate)
tags, established relationship, all fluff no angst, headcanons, ooc
notice, first enstars post yippie 🎉 taking a break from grinding so much for the spider halloween event.. reader is a producer if it wasn't obvious.. highkey ooc?? esp for ibara, as much as i love him, i suck at writing characters like him huhu
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— m. ayase
the two of you were baking in the dorm's kitchen when you suddenly passed out. just a few hours ago, you had proposed to mayoi to spend the day off with each other and decided baking something would be nice.
after all, after a hectic week of working yourself to the bone, what's a better way to spend the day than hanging out with your beloved boyfriend?
mayoi, at first, was cautious. he had been watching you veryy closely (and he's absolutely sorry-not-sorry for doing that) for pasy few days and noticed your signs of exhaustion. but still, he couldn't resist accepting your date idea when you begged him so desperately.
mayoi stared down at the mixture he's been mixing for a couple minutes, his brow furrowed in uncertainty. is he 100% sure this is how it's supposed to look?
then, mayoi turned around to face you. "uhmm... (name), could you— eek!" just as he did, he had witness your body collapse, hitting the floor with an extremely loud and audible thud that rang through the kitchen like a big bang. mayoi's face turned pale as he immediately ran up to your spot and kneeled down, checking you thoroughly.
his hands were stained with cookie batter, but he couldn't care less at this point and rolled you on your back. he put your head on his lap, pushing your hair out of your face to only be greeted by your peaceful, sleeping expression. he carefully felt your pulse on your neck and immediately let out a sigh of relief when he felt soft thumping under the pads of his fingers.
mayoi sighed, "thank god... you're just unconscious, i don't know what i would've done if you..." he stared down at you again, caressing your cheek. at any other situation, he would've found your sleeping face cute, but the guilt of agreeing to do this with you even when you're exhausted was chewing him up.
he immediately got cleaning up the mess you two made and hurried you to the infirmary. after the nurse was done checking you and confirming it was just exhaustion and stress and not anything serious, he was left alone to sit by your side and wait for you to wake up.
throughout it all... mayoi was nervous. the intrusive thoughts are coming to his head, making up scenarios that your condition became serious and had put you in a coma... he knew it wasn't going to happen, but the thought terrified him still.
when you woke up, mayoi immediately got on his hands and knees and apologized to you with genuine tears. it's gonna take a while for him to calm down...
"i-i'm sorry! i was aware you were overworked a-and yet i still made you bake w-with me! i'm an awful and pathetic person, i don't deserve your forgiveness!"
"m-mayoi, i said it's fine... c'mon, get up.."
— a. narukami
arashi finally got a day off from idol work and modelling, so she decided it would be fun to tag you along for shopping! it's been so long since she has been able to do some retail therapy, but it's much more longer since the two of you gotten on a date and it was starting to irritate her.
even if you were tired from handling your unit and trying to keep them out of trouble or paying the consequences of their stupid decisions, you still accepted the offer because you missed her a lot as well! you can handle to stay awake for a couple more hours, right?
... right?
arashi finished zipping up the dress and after doing a couple of practice twirls, she stepped out of the dressing room in an elegant and stylish manner fitting for the outfit she's trying on.
"(name), darling, what do you think? should i get it or not?" she spun around once more, showing off a full 360 of her look. when she didn't hear your voice praising her or doing commentary, she took a good look of your slumping figure and noticed that you had fallen asleep.
"oh dear," she chuckled, finding the way your head keeps flicking whenever you hunched too far cute. she sighed and shook her head, "you really should know better than overworking yourself, whatever should i do with you?" then, she walked up to you and tapped you on the shoulder, "come on, let's go home and do a spa day instead!"
when you grumbled something akin to a protest, she merely tutted and kissed your forehead. "mhm, whatever you say, dear. let me change back first and we'll head home, okay?"
"mmmgh... okay.."
true to her words, when you two arrived back, she immediately began setting the things up and prepared all the necessities for a spa day.
facemask? check. her favorite scented candles? check. the two of you in fluffy white robes, sipping on some tea with your feet deep in a bucket of warm water and epsom salt and your favorite drama playing on the tv? check, check and check.
arashi made sure your sitting arrangement is as comfortable ss possible, and frequently checked on you to see if you're in deep sleep. once the time is up, she'll gently shook you awake to let you know and cleaned up the place before bringing you down on the couch for a cuddle.
"i love you, (name), so please don't do that again, okay? i won't scold you right now since you need to rest more, but next time know your limits please. overworking is bad for your health."
— i. saegusa
it was rare for ibara to come back home for a day off. apparently, he was urged by his unit members to take a break and spend some time with his lover aka you, especially since the event is over now, and he had finished months worth of work in one sight.
although, it didn't take the rest of eden long to convince him to go home as he was already prepared to come back to your arms. after all, distance brings fondness and oh does he yearns for you.
he arrived at your apartment in a timely mannera and while his appearance is poised as usual, there was a slight element in his body language that told you he hurried his way back. he never been this ipatient.
there was time to go out for a date, but the two of you lacked the energy to even step out and interact with the world after a hellish week. ibara came rushing to you and spooning you in his arms.
"— it was hard to pull in the reigns on that problem child, but thankfully he seemed to understand and followed my instructions this time around... oh, i'll surely miss that part of him now that this event is over." ibara sighed, playing with a strand of your hair and twirling it between his fingers.
then, he shook his head, choosing to forget about his stressful week and focused on you now. this is the limited times he's able to see you outside of work and he didn't want to talk your ear off about every miniscule thing that has happened the previous days. he wanted to focus on you and you only for now.
"moving on. what about you, my dear? anything interesting happened to you?" he asked, waiting for an answer. he waited, and waited, assuming your silence was just you thinking about what to say. yet you still continue to be silent, confusing him and worrying him slightly.
"(name) dear?" he looked down at your face and relaxed immediately, making a sound of acknowledgement as he found you fast asleep in his arms. he chuckled, shaking his head gently. he said nothing more and joined you in your sleep.
even if the whole conversation he had with you was mostly one-sided, he's still glad he could spend his time with you. when you woke up from your nap, he had put a blanket over you and let you rest on the couch.
he even went out of his way to prepare food for the two of you, just in case you woke up hungry. the table was set nicer and better than you could ever done, and the food looked and smelled like heaven.
"hm? you're finally awake, i see. come, i've prepared us dinner, won't you join me? then, after this, let's talk some more. you still haven't told me how your week went, after all."
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notice, leave a like, comment or reblog if you liked the hcs! it helps me a lot, ty^^
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frau-wilhelm-klink · 1 day ago
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Well, I finally got around to doing these! It's a little long – and some of my takes may be unpopular – but these are still my headcanons🤷🏻‍♀️ (Had to make a few minor edits to 'em now that I'm properly awake, though.) So without further ado, buckle up and take a peek under the cut!
The Germans
Schultz:
1) Is definitely not a Nazi! Cases can be made for him being both neutral and pro-Allied, but I like to think of him as neutral. He isn't a man who's into politics or anything like that, he just wants his toy factory back.
2) Low-key thinks of Hogan and his team as additional nephews, so does his best to be somewhat responsible while still being the fun uncle.
3) Has privately asked Hogan off screen to make sure he, his family and Klink aren't blamed and/or arrested for crimes they didn't commit after the war. Schultz doesn't think that would happen...but given everything that went down after World War I with the Treaty of Versailles, he isn't taking any chances.
______
Hochstetter:
1) Is a hardcore, unapologetic Nazi who hates the Geneva Convention's very existence. Only tolerates it because of Klink's insistence that his prisoners be treated humanely, and despite the disrespect he shows the kommandant, Hochstetter is aware he's outranked.
2) Has gotten to the point where he's obsessed about Hogan more than a teenager with a celebrity crush. Like, he's just a legitimate stalker at this point🤣 Hochstetter is determined to prove Hogan is Papa Bear at any cost, if for no other reason then so his superiors will stop assuming he's not mentally all the way there.
3) Is very good at his job, surprisingly enough! Hochstetter makes a damned fine detective when he's not dealing with anything involving - or potentially involving - Stalag 13. Fortunately for the boys, he tends to let his hatred and obsession with Hogan blind him to a lot of things, resulting in him dropping the ball on more than one occasion. (Most notably, the episode with Group Captain Roberts.) Of course, Hogan being able to play him like a fiddle doesn't help Hochstetter's case either.
______
Gertrude Linkmeyer:
1) Knows in her heart of hearts that her husband Otto is probably dead. As Burkhalter once told her, that's usually what 'missing in action' at the Russian Front means. But Gertrude won't ever admit that out loud because as long as she keeps denying it, she can hold on to the fragile hope that he might still be alive. Is still internally grieving for him nonetheless, though.
2) Contrary to popular belief, doesn't actually want a romantic relationship with Klink. She likes him and thinks he's cute, but she's mature enough to know you need more than that to be happy in a relationship. However, Gertrude is going along with her brother's attempts to force the pair into marriage for two reasons.
She can see Klink appears to be somewhat naïve in a few ways, and she wants to protect him from women who would use him...of which there have been a few. As stated above, Gertrude genuinely does like him as a person in his own right, so she figures a platonic marriage of convenience would be the best way to accomplish that goal. (He would also be much safer too - nobody in their right mind is gonna risk Burkhalter raining his wrath down on them because they messed with his sister's husband.) But Klink keep pushing her away because he doesn't realize what she's trying to do. It's very much a 'I'm trying to help you here, dummkopf!' kinda vibe.
Gertrude knows Burkhalter (supposedly) barely tolerates Klink, and it baffles her as to why he would constantly try to shove them together at all in that case. The tension alone would make the holidays a living hell. But she says nothing, choosing to obey his wishes like a dutiful sister should. Gertrude is smart enough to see the grave error in judgment Burkhalter's made for himself; she's just waiting for her brother to figure it out after it's too late so she can have the last laugh.
3) Actively 'wears Burkhalter's rank' (aka uses the 'My brother is a general' card) to get things done if she really wants to. Has also used her relationship with Burkhalter behind the scenes to keep him from sending Klink off to the Front on several occasions for the reasons listed above.
******
The POWs/Allies
Kinch:
1) Is the majority brain cell holder, and therefore the only one who has a hope in hell of stopping Hogan when he gets on a roll.
2) Is on a first-name basis with Hogan in private because the two of them are friends. Nevertheless, Kinch only uses that privilege when he really needs to get Hogan's attention...usually for something critical.
3) Is utterly fascinated by all types of communicative technology. Radios, telephones, TVs...you name it, Kinch is interested in learning more about how it works.
______
LeBeau:
1) Is a mother hen whenever anyone is sick - especially Newkirk and Hogan - because he knows they don't take proper care of themselves. Will deliberately wait until Newkirk is too sick to protest, then shove foods that are extra French down his throat as part of their friendly ongoing French-English rivalry.
2) Is perpetually miffed by Hogan's blatant refusal to let him and Newkirk go on Nazi-killing sprees. Legitimately wonders if Hogan has actually lost his mind on occasion as well.
3) Gets frustrated sometimes because he doesn't understand all the references (such as sayings, terms, etc) to American culture in the barracks. Relies heavily on Kinch (and to an extent, Hogan) to explain them to him.
______
Newkirk:
1) Hates any and all authority figures with a passion, due to having had all of them treat him like dirt because he's poor. Hogan is the one exception to that rule - Newkirk would do anything for his CO if asked. He appreciates how Hogan sees him as a person and values him for his skills, as opposed to his financial status.
2) Will never admit it out loud, but is a serious worrywart, especially when it comes to Carter or LeBeau.
3) Would rather die than ever admit he needs help. Newkirk was raised to believe every bit of help comes with a price, which is why he's extremely hesitant to ever ask for even the smallest thing.
______
Wilson:
1) Dearly wishes Hogan would give him some advance warning whenever the team goes out on missions so he can go to bed earlier. That would be much appreciated, considering he often gets dragged out of bed to patch up one or more of them at all hours of the night. It's one of the reasons he's a grumpy, salty medic. (The other part is because everyone always gives him lip and he's sick of it.) He's trying to help them stay healthy; the least they could do is be grateful!
2) Would absolutely sedate Newkirk and/or Hogan - and in his CO's case, has threatened to do so more than once - if need be. Literally keeps two small containers of makeshift anesthesia he had Carter whip up set aside with Hogan and Newkirk's names on it, just in case.
3) Has zero qualms about taking advantage of the fact that a medic's orders override anyone else's, including Hogan's. Every time the colonel gets sick, the two go through a similar song and dance.
Hogan insists he's "perfectly fine" (even if he sounds like death warmed over) and tries to leave to take care of his men.
Wilson tells him to stay put.
Hogan declines and says he's leaving.
Wilson tells him to stay put again, followed by threatening to have Schultz hold him down on the infirmary bed while he (Wilson) ties him to it.
Hogan indignantly squawks something to the effect of, "You wouldn't dare!"
Wilson - who has an evil little smile by this point - replies, "With all due respect, sir, try me. Either you can willingly stay put until I clear you to leave, or you'll be doing it involuntarily. Medic's orders. So, what's it gonna be, Colonel?"
Hogan reluctantly gives in.
Wilson chalks up another win, all while questioning his life choices and mentally bemoaning the fact he has the world's worst patient for a commanding officer.
______
Crittendon:
1) Isn't as stupid as he appears to be. Didn't buy his rank - that would imply he's not talented enough to earn it on his own, and he would see that as an insult. Even if he had, Crittendon would be hard-pressed to keep it if he was truly that big a screw up. Nepotism only gets you so far. Plays the fool on purpose so people will let their guard down around him, thereby enabling him to make multiple escape attempts. Unfortunately, he's pretty lousy at escapes, so he always gets recaptured.
2) Genuinely means well, but still manages to mess things up. Part of it is because he's too into his role of the idiot officer; the other part of it is being easily distracted. Has deliberately interfered with Hogan's plans more than once as well. Crittendon is a veteran of WWI, so he feels he's the only one of the POWs who knows how to fight a war properly. He sees it as his duty to educate them how things should be done.
3) Was still mentally stuck in WWI the first time he was captured. At some point between his transfer out of Stalag 13 and his next appearance there, Crittendon realized the Nazis have no honor, and that the rules of WWI have all but been chucked out the window. This explains why he did a 180° shift in attitude regarding Hogan's operation. Went from a 'Oh dear, you poor, misguided Yank...you really have no clue how to fight a war properly, do you? Let me teach you how the game is played' vibe to a 'Right, Jerry may not have any honor now, but I still know better than you, old boy. More war experience and all that, wot wot?' one.
______
Marya:
1) Is, essentially, the female version of Hogan. She's just as smart as he is. But in a era where a woman's opinion holds less weight, she has to get creative with her scheming. Plus, Marya likes keeping Hogan on his toes. Not only does it ensure her wits stay sharp, it gives her great joy to frustrate him to no end solely for the entertainment value.
2) Also enjoys making over-complicated plans, same as Hogan does. Sure, she could level with him about what she wants to do from the start, but where's the fun in that?😂 She wouldn't tell him everything anyway; she's smart enough to know you should never put all your eggs in one basket. Marya is well aware Hogan is a great leader, but she also knows firsthand from life in the USSR that even the strongest leaders can fall, and she doesn't want to be caught in the backlash if that happens.
3) Is hardcore crushing on Hogan. (Can't blame her for that; he is very handsome.) Tries to let him know - and thereby enable him to make the first move - by flirting with him constantly. When that doesn't work, Marya begins doing the same thing with LeBeau, trying to make Hogan jealous enough to kiss her and mark her as his woman...which eventually works. Persistence for the win!
The rest of my headcanons about Schultz and Newkirk can be found on this document, along with my ones of Klink, Burkhalter, Hogan and Carter.
Also, if anyone is interested, I did write out Klink’s experiences in both wars. It's told via flashback, however, which is why it abruptly jumps from World War I to World War II.
What are your top 3 headcanons for Hogan's Heroes in general?
What are your top 3 headcanons for each character?
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sleepy-aletheas · 9 months ago
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"The value of language is not limited to words. A unified language helps to govern thoughts. Language is the bottom line, rules, weapons, and violence. By making our language unique, we can open up a special path to the relative completion of minds.
Governing thoughts may appear meaningless to some, but to others, it has a very significant meaning. Individuals' pursuit of uniqueness gives rise to various languages and media. People are controlled by language under many circumstances."
-- excerpt of Alhaitham's Vision Story
The more I stare at this, the more Alhaitham makes so much sense in a thematical way. This was from a book he read on a research trip. Was it during his Akademiya days? Post-graduation? Both make sense in their own ways.
If he was still a student, him latching onto the possibility of expressing himself in different, unconventional ways that fitted him more could explain the dissonance between him and everyone else (especially Kaveh, who obviously struggles with this).
If it was after he graduated, it would make sense he would ingrain this into himself, because he lost his best friend (his only friend) when he couldn't clearly communicate his concern when it mattered (they were young, they were stubborn, they didn't know how to deal with this type of battle between truth and grief).
Him finding wisdom, him finding ambition and hope, to communicate with someone else (someone who could show him different perspectives on life and complete his worldview) in ways that came more natural to him. It seems so easy, so trivial. There are people losing loved ones, almost their lives to get visions, and he was like "Ah, yes, communication is key."
It's ridiculous, just like him. And it's utterly lonely when no one even tries to look deeper than surface level, than from the lens of common etiquette.
And it's the perfect narrative foil to Kaveh, who praises himself for being an aesthete, who follows passion and art and values uniqueness. But communication? That has to follow strict social rules. You should be pleasant, and try to not step on anyone's toes. You should try be friendly and accommodating and helpful.
It's fascinating, that a character so set in trying to be good and find good in everything and everyone, cannot for the life of himself acknowledge that his roommate is capable of kindness and honesty, just because it doesn't follow the conventional paths.
It's mindboggling, that a character who tried his best to change the mind of a nation about art and its practical appliance to architecture, to life, and yet cannot phantom that communication also doesn't have to be just pragmatic, stiff, scripted sequence of socializing.
The absolute dissonance, the mirroring is so good, and so heart-breaking, and so frustrating. It makes me wanna curl up under my bed, and weep over these stupid geniuses.
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copia · 5 months ago
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THIRTY-ONE DAYS OF GHOST ⛧ DAY ONE
first song you heard — Mary On A Cross
September 1969; Papa Nihil and the beginning of the Ghost Project take to the stage at the Whiskey a Go Go club in Los Angeles, under the watchful eye of Sister Imperator. Fifty-three years later, in Tampa, Florida, Papa Emeritus the Fourth performs Mary On A Cross, unaware that he is singing the story of his parents—and that of himself.
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twpsyn-who · 10 months ago
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Soulmates AU in which when your soulmate is in a situation that can result in their death you get to see through their eyes. Like, I don't know how to explain this- it kind of flashes between what you see and what your soulmate sees. You know those edits where there's a scene going on and there's another one faded in the background happening at the same time? Similar to that. The idea is that you get to see what your soulmate sees too, on top of what you're seeing.
Now, this AU but JeanMarco. With Marco asking the others where's Jean, just for him to start seeing a corpse right in front of his eyes not even a second after asking. Seeing through Jean's eyes as he's trying to get hold of that gear and stuff. And once Jean's safe, once it clicks that you know his best friend is his soulmate Marco can't wait for them to graduate so he can you know tell him that.
Then, you know. That happens. And Jean is so fucking confused because he keeps seeing Annie crying, looking down on him. Only when Annie starts getting off the gear, when his soulmate starts moving around trying to get away he starts panicking, starts moving around faster than before. And maybe he's too late. Or maybe he shows up in time and kills the titan. I don't know. That's not where I'm trying to get, but to the second option AKA Marco pulling an UNO reverse on Annie because he's a smart sneaky bastard like that and being like 'Hey you can't kill me, my soulmate will know it was you' which makes her stop trying to take off his gear. Reiner keeps telling her to do it, Bertholdt keeps yelling about that titan coming closer, but Annie... she has seen things, at some point. Flashes of moments that weren't hers, happening right in Trost- right in that moment. And she didn't give them too much thought until that moment, until it got confirmed that it has nothing to do with her titan powers.
'What do you mean by that?' she asks, because she needs to know more. Because she wants to know more. And Marco starts explaining how it works. Tells them that he has found his soulmate, that they will put all the blame on them for his death. Reiner doesn't believe him, keeps insisting that he's playing them around - he, and anyone born and raised on Marley, has never heard of something like that before, it doesn't exist - but Annie tells him to shut up and to let Marco go. Cue to the plot of any fic in which Marco doesn't straight up die after finding up their secret.
Anyway I don't know man, just,,, We need more soulmate aus for JeanMarco. That's an order.
#When I wrote this my mind was to Mina x Annie like straight up I was like 'Yeah Mina's Annie's soulmate and she saw her dying' but my brain#liked to remind me that you know Armin has a nerd death experience too. So it can go either way guys the idea is that Annie's soulmate l#either died in Trost or was close to dying#Some little things I daydreamed about while waiting to get home to finish this post (more like little details for the au than anything#else) : Only Eldians can have a soulmate aka only subjects of Ymir. Marley being the racist motherfucker they are aren't aware of the whole#soulmate thing. That's why Reiner Berthold and Annie has no clue something like that exists they didn't get taught about that. Meanwhile#everyone on Paradis knows about soulmates kind of hard not to when many SC die on a basic lol. Is something normalized for them#Also another little detail would be that a Titan Shifter can't see during their shift. Aka Eren didn't see through Mikasa's eyes during#Trost despite her being near death at some point(s) (I'm thinking about when Titan Eren punched that Titan coming for Mikasa but honestly?#She was in danger when Eren lost control too). So yeah that's all I have for now#I think it also make sense a little for some soulmate thing to occur on top of the titan powers given the whole 'love story' between Ymir#and King Friz (or whatever his name fuck that guy- in a nonsexual way). So yeah we should totally play around with the concept of soulmates#more#This post is a mess but I started it at like 11 pm and finished it at 6 pm let me be man. My sleep deprived mind came out with this one#I make no promises to actually write something with this - I'll have to re-watch the first two season and kind of update as I watch the#other seasons so yk. Low chances. But feel free to use this as you please haha. Go wild guys. It doesn't even need to be JeanMarco yk#Like Annie seeing Mina die with her own eyes??? And her thoughts process for the whole time once she finds out she was her soulmate#Or ykyk Historia Witnessing Ymir's death??? Nicolo losing his shit over seeing that little girl shoot his soulmate??? LEVI SEEING FLASHES#OF BIG ASS STONES THROWN AROUND#Man actually you can play around with Levi so much like we have Petra too and Hange and-#Regardless#aot jean#aot marco#aot#jeanmarco#Aot JeanMarco#jean kirstein#jean kirschstein#marco bodt#marco bott
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yeahlikethebird · 6 months ago
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#it's 1am and i'm depressed and don't want to go to bed#there's such an unbelievable amount of century-defining tragedy and horror in the world rn#and i know that’s always true but jfc we know about so much more of it simultaneously now#like i'm supposed to be chill and functional in the face of war pandemic climate change forever chemicals micro plastics and fascism?#and and and?#i'm supposed to smile and ask follow-up questions when people tell me about vacations to Hawaii#rather than shaking them and saying holy fuck stop doing that please learn about the ramifications and historical context of your actions#i'm supposed to smile and give a measured response when a new coworker asks my other coworker and me#when they can/SHOULD use generative AI *for work purposes*#rather than screaming and throwing articles at them about the environmental impact of LLM bullshit#and that's all large scale#that's not getting into the fact that there's a growing family chilliness over refusal to communicate about I/P shit#or the fact that my mom is dying slowly and hates it and is worsening her relationship with my siblings little by little#or the fact that I'm peeling away at my sanity trying to process a divorce and get healthcare for my cat and dental care for myself#or the fact that it takes hours of research to find DISH SOAP THAT DOESN’T KILL THE MICROBIOMES OF THE LOCAL WATER SUPPLY#(10/10 recommend 'blueland' for that if you're reading btw)#like i'm painfully aware of the back-patting level of efficacy that i have for buying different soap and going to the farmer's market#but there's only so much i can do so i have to try to do what i can right? but it's so little and everything is so much#and my mental health is a mess; the fact that my particular neurotype is known to get more volatile with age scares the shit oit of me#like it's this bad at 33 and it gets WORSE?#my job is great for personal privilege but so *so* meaningless and redundant#and how tf do i look at all of this and not feel fucking hopeless?#i can distract myself with my garden but the candide approach was myopic even in the 17th century so it's hard to justify now#I'm so tired#just... fuck man#tag rant#i should delete this but I'll forget if you read this far i hope it wasnt damaging to your mental health#i just had to let off the brain scream pressure somewhere
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natasha-in-space · 4 months ago
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Deadass didn't eat anything in over 10+ hours, and I have the nerve to lay there and think 'hmmm, I feel kind of very weak, shaky and unmotivated.... I wonder what could have possibly caused this 🤔'
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eimearkuopio · 16 days ago
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Congratulations everyone, we made it! It is currently Tomorrow. Make a note: 16:07 BST, Saturday 26th October 2024. But blink and you'll miss it and it will just be a regular old Today again. 💜💚🩷
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she checks the floor vents every day to see if the furnace is on yet and today was the day :)
#she needed a hero so that's what she became#prophet turned Oracle i guess#ask me no questions and i'll tell you no lies and no truths#i think i'm about 1/8th selkie on my mother's side#there's probably some banshee in there too but that might be from Nana's dad#if you know about magic could you please reach out because P_F taught me boundaries but i don't know much else#aside from please and thank you and insha'Allah which are really more good manners than magic as far as I'm concerned#I'm not Jewish or Muslim or Hindu that I'm aware of but i might be a little bit of everything else#...wait cows are sacred to Hindus so maybe they already knew about Táin Bó Chulainge#as Meredith Brooks puts it so well: I'm a little bit of everything all rolled into one#as St. Paul wrote about Jesus:#“[Jesus] has made the two into one and broken down the barrier which used to keep them apart#actually destroying in his own person the hostility cause by the rules and decrees of the Law“#Paul and i don't agree on everything but that's okay because I'm Catholic before I'm Christian#i have taken pity on the church and set myself to teach them at some length#unfortunately as part of the process i am also being detained under section 2 of the mental health act#hope springs eternal balders#if i'm Doña Quixote where is my Sancho Panza?#don't point to my family members they have each paid for their own salvation many times over#you want to learn from me you're going to need to put in the effort of writing and thinking and asking#you don't want to learn from me that's fine#i have hobbies to pursue because I'm done cleaning up after the other grown-ups#only children don't have to clean up their own messes#but only slaves have to clean up everyone's
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thornheartless · 4 months ago
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I would like to go one day without feeling self conscious :(
#like i just. i'm fine!! mostly#but still i end up Anxious#they sure weren't lying that anxiety sure is disordered#idk i just think it's kinda messed up how apparently my anxiety's so bad i should potentially be on medication for it but it gets downplayed#this isn't really meant to be a vent vent i am just frustrated that i am genuinely almost always anxious to some degree#really hate when people take a “it's just anxiety” stance like sorry but it's not “just” anxiety#my ability to function in everyday life is affected severely#if i am not at college because its the holidays then it's a miracle if i leave the house more than once a week#sometimes it's a miracle if i actually leave the house at all#because my body seems to be constantly under the impression that i am about to be in danger#on multiple occasions it has tipped over into full-blown paranoia where i think everyone i see may be out to get me somehow#and that everyone i care about is just secretly waiting for the perfect opportunity to hurt me for their amusement#so yeah i kinda hate when people act like anxiety disorders are the “easy” mental illnesses because anxiety has controlled most of my life#the whole fearful-avoidant disorganised attachment thing i've got going on is fed into by my anxiety whilst also fueling my anxiety as well#the self awareness of it all is a really annoying thing too because. i know my anxiety is an irrational thing! i just can't do much about it#i try and i try but sometimes i just can't always win against my anxiety
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lostalioth · 2 months ago
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𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫
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→ premise: sometimes logan’s age showed more than it normally would and so just once you called him an old man, affectionally of course. Well he was determined to show you he wasn’t one.
→ pairing: logan howlett x fem!reader
→ warnings: smut | 18+, nicknames [baby, sweet girl, princess], daddy kink, both reader and logan use old man as a nickname, oral [f receiving], unprotected sex, established relationship, slight overstimulation.
→ a/n: the pictures/moodborad above are purely for vibes :) you can imagine any logan pretty much for this fic i think. this is mt first time writing logan so sorry if hes out of character and sorry for any mistakes this was written and proof read at 1am.
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Logan wasn’t the type of man to be insecure about his age, his body and face didn’t necessarily show it like how it did on others obviously. He was well aware he was way older than you, he was much older than most people. His age showed more with his taste in music and movies, even in some of the outdated slang he frequently used.
You were currently laid up in your shared bed with Logan. You loved being curled up in his lap, your head resting on his chest cuddled up against him. A cigar nestled between Logan's lips, him periodically puffing out smoke. One of his arms lazily resting over your body holding you against him. An older movie was playing on the tv in the background, the volume was high enough for you to hear it, however you could hardly pay attention. Your mind was too lost in how domestic and old timey it all was, the feeling making your heart flutter.
“You know this was my favorite movie, well one of 'em used to watch it all the time” Logan's gruff voice breaks you from your train of thought.
You look up at your boyfriend and smile softly, his gaze fixated on the black and white images flashing across the screen. You chuckle softly and reach up towards his neck to thread your fingers through the hair at the base of his skull. An action that Logan has come to love and even crave on the days when life gets just a little too much.
“You're such an old man” your voice breaks his focus , it was teasing and full of affection as you said it. Logan could clearly hear it, and your statement was correct and didn't bother him, however he couldn't help the little plan forming in his head to mess with you. Shaking your head lightly you turn your attention back on the television.
“Ya’ wanna say that again sweet girl?” He leans his head down, all his attention now glued to you. His words came out almost mockingly instantly making your gaze snap back up to him. He grabs ahold of your chin so that your focus and your eyes stay on him. You knew that teasing tone of voice like the back of your hand by now and what it meant. It made the flutter in your heart drop to your stomach, his arm that was wrapped around your body tightens. You can feel him starting to grow harder against your thigh, making you squirm a bit in his grasp. You swallow hard, your voice suddenly caught in your throat. Logan watches as your pupils dilate and that sweet smell that he's become addicted to fills his nose, giving away your own growing arousal.
“Cause i'm thinkin’ you just called me old princess” He cocks his head to the side in a teasing manner, his lips breaking out in a smirk. Still not being able to find your words you shake your head ‘no’ causing him to chuckle deeply. “No? cause i think ya’ did baby, yeah i think you called me an old man” His words come out in almost a growl as he leans forward, pushing you down on your back. His body now perfectly nestled between your legs as he hovers over you, pinning you down with his weight. His large rough hands holding onto your hips, one slowly drifting and pushing up the t-shirt you had on. A t-shirt that looked an awful lot like the one he's been looking for all week.
“Maybe i did.. but you are an actual old man Logan, you’re much older than me baby” Finally finding your voice you attempt to explain yourself, though you knew he wasn't actually upset by your comment. His strained cock pressed against your clothed cunt being more than an indication of that. Your damp panties and his jeans doing nothing to stop him from feeling the way your pussy was throbbing already from his teasing.
“Yea? Well ima show you just what this old man can do huh” He questioned, barely giving you a moment to answer. Wasting no time he has your shirt pushed up revealing your bare tits and his other hand pulling your panties down your legs. Sliding down your body and the bed he slowly kisses down your exposed chest and stomach until his head has made it between your spread thighs. “Logan..” you whine softly, your eyes glued to his every move as you grow more impatient. A rush of cold air hits your lower half when he finally rids you of your soaked underwear.
That damn smirk not wavering from his face as he grabs ahold of your thighs and nearly growls when his tongue finally laps at your pussy. “Fuck i dont think i’ll ever get over just how fuckin’ good you taste baby” his words come out a bit mumbled as his face is buried between your folds. “Lo..” you whine in embarrassment at his statement. Your slick had coated his face in seconds, though it was clear he could care less, wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking. Even biting the nub softly causing your hips to buck up against his face, his scruffy facial hair rubbing your inner thighs. He groans against you and grips your legs tighter pulling you closer to his mouth.
“Daddy…fuck!” You gasp softly and moan at the sensation and tighten your thighs around his head, Logan's favorite thing was to feel your plush thighs squeeze his head. His adamantium skull being able to take the pressure. You can feel him smile against you at both the name and the action. “Atta girl, princess. Such a good girl for ya’ old man” he praises, his deep voice vibrating through your body.
Letting your clit go Logan pulls away for a moment, dropping his grip on one of your thighs as well to bring his hand and spread apart your lips. Leaning his head back a bit he spits on your pussy, his saliva sliding down to your throbbing hole. “Fuck she always looks so pretty sweet girl” he hums in approaval and admiration at your pussy. His eyes finally lift back up to your face, he takes note of your already blissed out look. “No cuming til I tell you baby, ya’ got it?” He questions, a small smile on his face that was covered in you.
“Yes daddy” you whine, your voice coming out a bit soft as you were taking the time he was giving you to catch your breath.
With a small smack to the side of your ass he dives his head back down, sticking his tongue out flat and licking a strip up the center of your cunt. Growling and burying his face between your legs again he laps and sucks at your clit and folds. Your hips having a mind of their own buck up against his mouth, nearly riding his face. His hips rutting up against the bed of their own accord as well, his precum now leaking through his boxers a bit. His cock straining against his jeans as wonton moans and whimpers leave your lips. Your eyes screwing shut in pleasure as his tongue every now and then pushes inside you and his nose nudges your swollen nub.
You could feel your climax quickly approaching, pushing your fingers through Logan's signature tufts of hair and pulling his face closer. “Fuck- Lo…Daddy please” you moan out pleading with your boyfriend to let you cum. He squeezed your thigh and groaned roughly against you, you knew that was his way of saying ‘not yet’. You whine and tug harder on his hair causing him to let out a small muffled moan. He pulls his face away a bit and with his hand that wasn't squeezing your leg he slips two fingers through your lips, collecting his spit and your slick together. Continuing his attack on your nearly now oversensitive clit he slides his thick soaked fingers inside you stretching you slowly. The rough pads of them instantly finding that spot deep inside you.
“Daddy I don't- uh shit! I don't know how much longer I can hold on, please Logannn!” You moan and whine out his name as your hips thrust back against his skilled fingers and rut against his face. Your high teetering on the edge as you try your hardest to hold it back. “Cum baby, cum on daddy's face princess” he commands and in an instant your body responds and allows your climax to hit you head on.
A string of curses leave Logan's lips as he laps at your cum as it leaks out of you, broken whines and small moans leave yours as he draws out your climax a bit longer. Finally emerging from between your legs, his lips swollen and pink, the whole lower half of his face covered in yours and his combined mess. Heat floods your face a bit at the sight, though your boyfriends still got that smirk glued to his pretty face. The dynamic of you being nearly entirely naked and him still entirely clothed caused an ache to settle back in your core as if Logan hadn’t just made you cum.
He makes his way bad up your body, quickly pulling off his shirt as well as finally pulling yours up and over your head, definitely leaving you entirely naked now. Leaning down, pressing his crotch right up against yours, his clothed bulging cock nudging open your wet and sticky folds. His lips hover over yours as his hand slides up your side, the other brushing over your breast before it’s wrapped around your neck and pinning you back against the bed. He squeezes your neck softly making you let out a whimper.
“You were saying baby?” His voice comes out deep and a bit hoarse as he questions your previous comment again. “Not callin’ me an old man now are ya’ sweet girl, noo cause you cant even talk” he mocks, a small smile on his face as he rocks his hips up against your pussy, the rough material of his jeans stimulating your abused bundle of nerves setting it off again. Your slick creates a wet spot on his jeans the more he grinds his dick against you.
“Won’t do it again i swear daddy, you're not an old man” you whimper softly as your hands grab at his arms and hands, your fingers rubbing at his knuckles where his claws rip through the skin. When his fly zipper brushes your clit you let out a short moan and move to grab at the waist of his jeans tugging, trying to get him to take them off. Tears lightly coat your eyelashes as you bat them at Logan. He scoffs softly and shakes his head at you as he lets go of your neck to undo his belt and the buttons to his jeans, pulling off his belt and jeans. You watch with a sparkle of excitement in your eyes, your chest heaving in impatience, hands wandering his body and rubbing over his muscly arms and board chest. He tugs his boxers down his thighs as he grabs your legs, wrapping your thighs around his waist. His tip leaking precum is redden and twitching as he rubs it through your lips before pushing at your hole.
“Come on princess, apologize for it” he goes painfully slow as he pushes inside you. “Apologize nicely for calling daddy an old man” he grins and brings his hand up to your boob, brushing his rough thumb over your nipple. You gasp softly and whine, wiggling your hips both in protest and to try and get him inside you faster.
Realizing he won't keep going further til you apologize, you give in. Pulling him down and closer, you wrap your arms around his neck and look into his eyes. “I'm really sorry for calling you an old man Lo, i didn't mean it i promise. You're not an old man daddy” you whine and brush your lips softly against his. “Oh fuck, you’re so sweet on me baby i love it” he growls and thrusts inside you hard as his lips crash against yours. You moan out loudly the sound muffled in Logan's mouth as his hips snap against yours. His cock thrusting deep inside you, hitting that spongy spot making your brain go foggy. Kissing you hard and passionately as his hands roam your body not being able to stop himself from touching you everywhere, you're all his anyway.
“My sweet, sweet princess, takin’ it so good from your old man huh?” He groans and presses his forehead against yours as your hips bounce off his. All you can do is frantically nod and mumble and whine about how good he feels and say yes daddy. Your nails digging into his back and running through his hair.
Logan may be an old man but he was your old man and he definitely didnt fuck like one. He knew how to keep up with his sweet little young girlfriend.
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→ a/n: hope you enjoyed my loves, PLEASE SEND ME LOGAN REQUESTS< MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN AND IM CURRENTLY OBESSED WITH THIS MAN
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ja3yun · 8 months ago
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Push My Buttons | L.HS
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bodyguard!heeseung x rich girl!reader warnings: enemies to ???, angst, smut (mdni), car sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, choking, mentions of spit, possessive!hee, some violence, not proofread, anything else lmk! wc: 7.5k synopsis: lee heeseung has been hired as your personal security by your father. you and him don't see eye to eye, so when tensions rise at your best friends party, you both know how to push each others buttons. a/n: hi! this is a thank you for 1k! i still don't believe it if i'm honest because i don't think i deserve it but regardless, thank you all so much if you follow me! this is a little idea i had sitting on my laptop that i've decided to complete for this occasion so enjoy!
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Browsing through the racks of the Prada store, you can't help but feel acutely aware of the imposing presence of your hired security, stationed just two feet away.
"Do you have to stick to me like glue all the time?" you mutter, not bothering to meet his gaze.
“It’s my job, Y/N. You’d know what that was if you weren’t such a spoiled brat,��� he spits back, his eyes rolling in exasperation.
Lee Heeseung was appointed by your father to ensure your safety during his frequent business trips. Unfortunately, your father's demanding role as CFO of a tech company keeps him away for extended periods. He doesn't trust you to fend for yourself, fearing that others might exploit you to reach him. Given your father's controversial reputation stemming from questionable business dealings, Heeseung's imposing presence is a constant fixture in your life.
Your bodyguard would be more tolerable if he weren't so insistent on being by your side every second. It's tiresome, really, how he clings to you like a shadow, never granting you a moment of solitude. If you go to the bathroom, he is right outside the door and if you dare try and sneak out the window - which you have tried numerous times - he is chasing you down the street, sweeping you off your feet and taking you home.
You had hoped that being only a couple of years older, he might adopt a more relaxed approach, letting you live your life a little, but you were wrong. Since the first day he turned up, he’s been nothing but a hoover, sucking the fun and freedom from your life all to keep you safe.
Sure, he probably knows deep down that he's a tad overbearing, but hey, he's clinging to this gig like a lifeline. Compared to his last job of being a bouncer at some dingy club, knocking back people with fake IDs and kicking out drunk people, your dad's cushy paycheck is like hitting the jackpot.
To Heeseung, you’re just some rich kid who has more money than sense, squandering it on everything and anything you deem a necessity at the time, only to then throw them away or forget about them. Considering he struggled to pay his rent before this job, he hates your whimsy ways with money. 
It's like you live in your own little bubble, completely disconnected from the real world. There are people out there starving and you’re buying thousands of pounds worth of clothes that you could easily get from a bargain bin for a fiver. 
Finally, you spare him a glance, “Just stand over there, okay? You really don’t have to be here and mess up my whole vibe,” you flail your arms around hoping the gestures will add some exclamation to your statement.
With a resigned sigh, he acquiesces, nodding, "In my line of sight at all times, got it?" He scans the area once more, on high alert for anything out of place, before reluctantly giving you some breathing room.
Heeseung blends in, looking through the obscenely expensive trousers which he is convinced he has seen the exact same jeans in thrift stores, just without the brand label. It’s a reminder of the contrast between you both; your lavish ways are still an alien concept to him.
He’s been in this role for 3 months and he won’t get over it, how different you both are. Your beliefs and traits are so starkly dissimilar that not once have you ever seen eye to eye. He doesn’t hate you, but he’s close to it. You always treat him with little to no respect and considering he’s only looking out for you per your daddy’s request, he would like to think you would be a little more grateful. 
Suddenly, his thoughts are interrupted by a lone figure approaching you, a slick smile playing on his lips. Heeseung’s jaw tightens as he analyses the scene in front of him, trying to speculate what the guy wanted, although Heeseung already knows his intentions.
You’re too busy trying to decide whether beige or cream looks better on you as you hold out two vest tops to notice the incoming man.
“I think you should go with that one,” the sudden boom of a voice beside you makes you jump and turn to him, clutching the clothes to your chest as you try to still your thumping heart, “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you, beautiful.”
Normally, you pay no mind to greasy men like him, but his cinched suit which was clearly tailor-made to fit and his sleek dyed brown hair was enough for you to give him a second glance. You can always spare some time for people who look good.
“Which one?” you ask, holding them back up at arm's length.
“The left one, I think you would look sexy in any of them, to be honest,” he smirks, thinking he’s being so smooth but you’re not really impressed by flattery. You know you look good, you see yourself in the mirror every day. Plus, he’s only trying to oil you up so he can either as you out or try and fuck you. The only one who genuinely gives you truthful advice or says you look good and mean it with no intention is Heeseung.
Your bodyguard is watching like a hawk, face steaming with anger as the guy puts his hand on your waist, holding one of the vest tops to your chest area. He’s already given the guy enough leeway by even letting him speak to you, but now he’s touching you, and Heeseung will be damned if he lets him get away with that.
With measured steps, Heeseung comes up behind you, licking his lips as hugs you from behind, “Baby girl, are you almost done?” he whispers loudly enough that the unwanted man in front of you can hear, “Who is this?” he asks, eyes now pointed forward.
The stranger's confidence falters under Heeseung's intense scrutiny, his eyes widening slightly as he realises the gravity of the situation. Heeseung's demeanour is unmistakably protective, his stance leaving no room for doubt about his intentions. His eyes are so dark that the boy knows that one wrong move will have Heeseung pouncing on him.
“I’m Woobin,” he says almost inaudibly. It’s amazing how quickly he resigned from his cocky attitude as soon as Heeseung made his presence known.
"Do you work here, Woobin?" Heeseung's voice is a low rumble against your ear, his lips trailing a path of kisses down your neck to your shoulder. His touch is electrifying, sending shivers down your spine as his hands caress your stomach, his thumbs tracing delicate patterns against the skin beneath your shirt
The butterflies in your tummy are fluttering around as if they’ve been disrupted from their nest by his touch. This is new, he hasn’t done this before, usually opting to just stand between you and potential danger. It's exhilarating and maddening all at once, the line between protection and possessiveness blurring in the heat of the moment.
Heeseung knows that if he simply said he was your security, it wouldn’t deter the man, he had to think on his feet. That and the way he touched you evoked something inside him, protectiveness laced with something else. 
“I don’t work here, I-”
“Then get your hands the fuck off my girl,” Heeseung interrupts Woobin, maintaining eye contact with him as he bites down a little on the nape of your neck, almost like he’s physically marking you as his own in front of a potential suitor.
Your head is in a frenzy, knowing that Heeseung is stepping far beyond his role of protection, yet, you don’t stop him. It would be lying to say that his lips didn’t feel good on your skin, the way his fingers lightly gripped the softness of your stomach gave you fanny flutters like nothing else; as he boldly stakes his claim, you can't help but feel a surge of desire mingling with frustration
But this is also the man that is currently cockblocking you right now, stopping you from getting Woobin’s number and potentially a good fuck that you’re clearly in desperate need of; why else would you be getting turned on by Heeseung right now? This is the man you cannot stand, he is the last person on earth you want to be with. 
Woobin awkwardly laughs and backs away, giving a slight wave to you as he walks out of the store, leaving you both in the thick silence.
As his form disappears into the distance, Heeseung stands by your side, his stare unflinching as he watches the threat go by, proud of himself for handling the situation quickly. Heeseung hasn’t let you go, his hands moving from your tummy to your waist, gripping it softly.
You don’t know what to do, still standing in a haze of shock and confusion, your eyes watching the back of Woobin with intensity. The man behind you didn’t even have to say much before Woobin was running with his tail between his legs.
Honestly, you know Heeseung can be intimidating, but this must have been a new level, even for him. You couldn’t see his eyes, yet, you know they held only room for intimidation.
Heeseung's attitude relaxes somewhat, but his protective stance remains firm. He slowly releases you from his grip, placing one last kiss on your neck for what reason he doesn’t know. 
You take a moment to compose yourself, internally dealing with the mixed feelings of the encounter before pure rage flushes over you, “What the fuck was that?” you seeth, twisting your body to face him.
“What was what?” he asks, unfazed by your angry demeanour. 
Slamming the vests back on the rack, you face him, your shorter stature suddenly being a hindrance as you try to act tough, “You know what! You just cockblocked me for no reason,” you ball your fists to the side of your hips, trying not to cause too much of a scene in the store. 
“Good. God knows what he had, he was a creep,” Heeseung’s face is stoic, not giving much of his emotions away which only serves to piss you off more. 
You wanted him to look a little bit sorry for overstepping, to say he was at least sympathetic towards your frustration. Instead, he just stands there, insulting the boy he didn’t even know.
Letting out a groan, you shut your eyes and unclench your hands, “I can’t ever have any fun with you around,” you try to calmly explain but as the words leave your lips, you begin to question why you’re trying to be civil in the first place. 
This man is the bain of your existence, the reason you haven’t had sex in months, he is utterly infuriating and here he stands in front of you with no remorse for ruining your life.
Heeseung nods, feigning understanding as he leans down to make eye contact with you, his nose almost touching yours, “I don’t know, baby girl, it seems like you were having a blast a second ago,” he says smugly, a half smirk creeping onto his face.
You beam red, embarrassment and anger mixing to create a shade of crimson you didn’t know you could make. He was frustrating, arrogant, irrational, rude, cocky, and overall just irritating. You hate Lee Heeseung.
Winking at you, he nudges his nose with yours before standing back up, his figure back to towering over you, “Pick the one on the right and let’s get a move on,” he says, tucking his hands into his pockets and taking one giant step back. 
It was like he was mocking you, giving you your space after infiltrating it as if he wasn’t leaving wet kisses on your neck five minutes ago. 
With a huff, you face the two vests once again, looking between both options, each one having its own backer. You bite your lip and contemplate over them, choosing the one on the right.
_____
As you apply your final coat of mascara, you take one long look in the mirror. You look great, everything about you falls into place perfectly, your hair and makeup only adding to your beauty while the dress you’re wearing hugs you nicely.
Obviously, you don’t tell Heeseung that you had a party tonight, knowing that he would lock you up like some Disney princess in your castle. If there was one thing Heeseung hated more than men coming into your zone, it was parties where tons of men could. 
The last party you went to was just before Heeseung arrived on the scene, the bodyguard now never letting you experience any joy or social gatherings that weren’t accompanied by him or a simple meet-up with friends. ‘There’s too much risk at a party’ he will always tell you.
A knock on your bedroom door almost makes you drop the mascara wand but you catch it before it causes disaster. 
“I’m coming in,” Heeseung’s voice travels through the door before he swings it open. His eyes trail over your body as he assesses the outfit, “A bit dressed up for a night in with me, no?” he tries to pass it off as a lighthearted joke but he knows he’s about to argue with you about your plans.
“Oh, y’know, just thought I would try and make an effort to sit in and watch Louder Milk for the nth time,” you roll your eyes, twisting the mascara shut and turning to face him.
Heeseung grumbles, “Let’s cut to the chase where you tell me where you plan on going and I obviously stop you,” he crosses his arms and tilts his head expectantly.
But you can’t let him win, not this time around. It’s your best friend’s birthday night out and if you miss it, you’ll never be invited to anything again; you can’t miss a 21st birthday party and expect there not to be consequences, especially not in your circle of friends.
You finish getting ready with a sense of purpose, carefully placing your lip oil and hairbrush into your YSL bag. "I've got plans," you announce, nonchalantly shrugging your shoulders.
His brows furrow slightly. "You never mentioned we had plans tonight," he remarks, a hint of curiosity in his voice.
"We don't have plans, Heeseung. I do. And you weren’t invited," you retort, your tone tinged with sarcasm as you shoot him a playful smirk.
He raises an eyebrow, trying to decipher your intentions. "A party? A date?" he ventures, scanning your attire and deducing that this isn't just a casual outing.
As you attempt to breeze past him, he swiftly moves to block the doorway with his arm, his muscles tensing as he grips the doorframe. You lock eyes with him, noticing the frustration brewing beneath the surface.
His jaw tightens as you stand your ground, a silent challenge passing between you, "Tell me where you're off to," he demands, his voice taking on a more authoritative tone.
You really need to get fucked because he’s suddenly turning you on, and his body starting to look like a jungle gym. Regardless of the fury and hatred for the boy in front of you, when he got angry, he was a new level of hot; it’s probably the reason you subconsciously push his buttons.
“I am going to Ryujin’s birthday party,” you confess, taking hold of his arm and trying to pry it from the wall, but he’s too strong and it doesn’t work. Even with all your efforts, it doesn’t budge.
Smiling at your feeble attempts to move him, Heeseung cockily leans on one foot, the other tucking behind his leg as he watches you struggle.
Undeterred, you try to slip under his arm, but he effortlessly scoops you up and returns you to your room, closing the door behind you with a practised ease. His years dealing with drunks at his previous job have endowed him with certain skills in handling runaways..
"Don't make this difficult, Y/N," he warns.
"You're the one being difficult! It's my best friend's birthday. Are you seriously telling me I can't go? I'm not in danger, you know," you retort angrily, frustration evident in your voice.
Heeseung understands that you're completely oblivious to the dangers lurking around your family, shielded by your innocent perspective. No one has bothered to inform you about your father's involvement in money laundering and his dealings with shady men. In your eyes, having a bodyguard feels like an unnecessary intrusion into your life rather than a protective measure.
"Listen, let's just imagine I let you go. Where is it?" he asks, a tinge of apprehension in his voice.
"Serenity," you reply, already sensing the tension building.
Heeseung's eyes widen in disbelief, "Serenity? The bar down by the loch? Are you serious?" he exclaims, his concern evident.
It was a losing battle the moment you opened your mouth. The bar isn’t known for its good reputation, it’s sleazy and grim, and despite its calm name, no one who occupies the bar could be considered peaceful.
Ryujin picked it simply because she likes to cosplay as a poor person sometimes, wondering what it would be like to live on the other side of wealth while obnoxiously spending a shit ton of money, completely rendering her ideas pointless.
You don’t agree with it but she is your best friend, the only person that gave you the time of day when you didn’t have a penny to your name all those years ago.
"I am not letting you step foot in that place," Heeseung asserts firmly, drawing a line in the sand.
“She hired out the whole bar, it’s not like anyone can just walk in,” you try to reason back but it doesn’t work as Heeseung’s resolve remains the same.
“You aren’t going, end of discussion. The whole neighbourhood is trouble and your friend is fucking stupid for this,” he scratches his jaw as the worst-case scenarios pop into his head. He might not like you but he really can’t stand some of the thoughts popping into his head, the urge to protect you growing stronger by the second.
The loch is a small part of town, mostly made up of deadbeats and criminals. Word spreads fast around there and there is a high chance the scums of the area know a bunch of snooty rich kids are going to be there for the picking.
You need to go, you can’t cancel any more plans so you need to think of something quick, “You can come with me,” you suggest, stepping closer to him. Would it be overbearing and annoying to have him there? Yes but at least you would be there. And it might actually be good if he was, after all, he is good at his job; you feel safe around him and the more he’s warning you away from Serenity and the loch, the more you’re starting to want his protection.
“I thought I wasn’t invited?” He raises his eyebrows sceptically.
Placing your hands on his chest, you trail them up to his shoulders, a pout forming on your lips. "Well, I'm inviting you now. Please, Heeseungie?" you implore, employing your best puppy-dog eyes and fluttering lashes in an attempt to sway him.
Typically, your pleading face doesn't work on him, but the combination of your hands massaging his tense shoulders and the endearing nickname starts to chip away at him.
"Fine. We can go for an hour or so, and then I'm taking you straight back home, understand?" he relents, already second-guessing his decision.
You squeal with joy, wrapping your arms around his neck and jumping up and down. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Finally, you've managed to reason with him.
Pushing you away gently, he clears his throat. "Be at the car in 10 minutes before I change my mind."
This is going to end disastrously.
_____
"Remember—"
"In your line of sight at all times," you finish, a hint of exasperation in your voice as you recite Heeseung's usual mantra.
Heeseung unbuckles his seatbelt with a grunt, his irritation clear as he mutters curses under his breath. He can't believe he's ended up in this mess, much less mocked by you. He is well aware that this is a recipe for disaster especially as he examines the area and notices gritty individuals prowling around the loch's borders, waiting for an opportunity to strike.
Heeseung is confident in his ability to handle himself; it's your safety that concerns him the most as he observes a suspicious figure crossing in front of your car.
You waste no time darting out of the car and hurrying to the club's entrance, leaving Heeseung trailing behind, a gust of wind in your wake.
"This fucking girl," he grumbles to himself as he parks the car and follows after you. He sees through your tactic—trying to get inside before him so he'll be left waiting outside while you venture off on your own. But he's not falling for it today.
He catches up to you just as you're about to give your name to the bouncer, his arm instinctively settling around your waist. The bouncer eyes Heeseung with a sceptical gaze, taking note of his attire and demeanour, which hardly scream 'rich kid bellend.'
As Heeseung squeezes your side, you shoot him a playful smirk over your shoulder. "Oh, this is my boyfriend. He's just trying to get into character for the place—dirty-chic and all that," you quip sarcastically, gesturing between him and the bouncer.
The bouncer chuckles at your comment, nodding in amusement. "You've done a good job. I almost mistook you for one of those creeps by the water," he jests, stepping aside to let you both in.
Heeseung doesn't react to your teasing or the bouncer's remarks. He's grown accustomed to such comments after spending the past few months with you and your friends. From being called shabby to poor, to filthy to crude, he's heard it all. Sometimes you apologise for your friend's words, but he knows the damage is already done.
It’s times like that that he has some faith in you, that you aren’t all diamonds and gold, that you do have a heart underneath it all.
Sticking close to you, you both end up at the bar ordering a gin and tonic for you and a water for himself. He knows everything about you by now, the constant watchful eye on you has got him to learn your favourite everything, so he finds himself ordering for you more times than not. That is, when you let him be actively seen with you.
"Can you vanish over there while I find Ryujin?" you ask, already scanning the room for the birthday girl.
Nodding, Heeseung points towards a nearby wall. "I'll be over there. If anything happens, remember to stay where I can see you. Don't run off; I will find you. And if you're going to the bathroom, come and get me," he advises, his tone firm as he leans down to emphasize the importance of his instructions.
"Yeah, sure," you reply casually, already making your way over to your friends at the other end of the bar, their excited screams and squeals guiding your path.
True to his word, Heeseung gives you space but remains vigilant, never taking his eyes off you. He's pleasantly surprised when three hours pass, and you're only on your second drink. Normally, he's had to carry you out of brunch with your university friends, and that's not even bottomless. Part of him thinks you’re remaining sober for your own vigilance, which makes him happy that you aren’t so reckless to get drunk in an unfamiliar setting around a lot of people you don’t know.
As the night progresses, Heeseung's gaze remains fixed on you from his position against the wall. He observes the way you interact with your friends, the genuine joy evident in your laughter and the twinkle in your eyes. Seeing you light up like this is a rarity, but it warms something inside him to witness you truly enjoying yourself.
Despite his reservations and occasional frustrations, Heeseung takes his role of keeping you safe very seriously. The thought of anything happening to you weighs heavily on his mind, not just because of the potential consequences from your father, but because he has come to genuinely care about your well-being. It's a realisation that surprises even him, how much he's come to feel responsible for you beyond just fulfilling his duties as a bodyguard.
Day by day, Heeseung finds himself spending more time in your presence. Even when he should be stationed at the front door, he often finds himself drawn to your side, whether it's watching TV shows together or cooking dinner. Sure, these moments are often punctuated by arguments over his choice of shows or the random spices he adds to your meals, but they keep things interesting, injecting a sense of spontaneity into his otherwise regimented routine.
And truth be told, he finds a strange satisfaction in winding you up, relishing the sight of the vein in your forehead protruding whenever you're exasperated with him. Despite the occasional clashes, there's an undeniable chemistry between the two of you, a dynamic that keeps him on his toes and reminds him that guarding you isn't just a job - it's become a massive part of his life.
Recently, he has become extra protective over you, the incident at the Prada store being a prime example. Men like Woobin are not the ones he should be protecting you from, but he can’t help it, you’re too precious to be led off by the likes of him.
Shaking his head, he disregards his last thought. You’re not precious, you’re a princess, a snooty diva with an attitude problem.
This is what he has to tell himself every day.
He watches you go up to the bar and sit on the stool as you order another drink, but his attention shifts to a familiar face in the crowd. Woobin - and he is walking straight for you. Like he hasn’t dealt with him enough today, it was almost as if thinking about him that manifested him straight into your lap.
As Woobin twists the stool you're sitting on to face him, Heeseung's grip on the empty cup tightens, his knuckles turning white with the effort to maintain his composure. He knows he can't just stride over there like he did at the store; he crossed a line then, kissing your neck was too far, and biting down on you to mark you was too far. But the possessive feeling that had simmered earlier resurfaces as he watches Woobin casually tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear.
His mind races with a mantra, a desperate attempt to keep his emotions in check. The real threat to you is outside, not in here. The real threat to you is outside, not in here. The real threat to you is outside, not in here.
But as he watches Woobin's hand graze your leg, Heeseung's resolve crumbles.
"Fuck this," he mutters under his breath, his anger boiling over as he pushes himself off the wall and throws his cup away. Without a second thought, he makes a beeline for you, determined to put an end to this unwanted intrusion.
You suddenly feel Heeseung's chest press against your back, his presence feels overpowering, his aura dark and intense. You glance at Woobin and notice the fear flicker back into his eyes, just like before, as Heeseung speaks with a menacing tone, "Have you got a death wish or something, mate?" His question hangs in the air, a clear warning.
Woobin takes a step back, but despite the quiver in his pupils, he refuses to back down. "She obviously isn't satisfied with you," he retorts, attempting to sound tough. "She hasn't even tried to bat me off."
You scrunch your face in disbelief at Woobin's audacity. His attempt to turn the situation on you is off-putting, and any attraction you may have felt towards him suddenly dissipates.
Heeseung's gaze shifts down to you, his eyes hooded as he leans in close. "Is that true, baby girl? Do I not satisfy you?" His words send a shiver down your spine, leaving you momentarily speechless. Before you can form a response, he leans even closer, his breath hot against your cheek as he whispers in your ear, "You better agree with me, or else I'll punch his lights out, right here, right now."
His threat hangs in the air, leaving you feeling torn between conflicting emotions. As you struggle to find the right words, Heeseung's lips graze the skin of your earlobe, sending a jolt of sensation through you. You're unsure whether he's doing this to turn your mind to mush so you can do nothing but agree with him or assert his dominance over Woobin, who watches with a flushed neck, clearly intimidated by Heeseung's display of possessiveness.
Nodding slowly, you side-eye Heeseung, “Y-you do,” you say quietly but as he bites down on your ear and you yelp, you speak up a bit more confidently, “You do satisfy me.”
“Good girl,” he whispers, placing one final kiss on your ear, “You heard her, so get the fuck away from her, or I will throw your body in the loch and no one will even care to look for you,” he challenges Woobin, threatening him like some gangster.
As Woobin backs up and mutters ‘This is not fucking worth it’, Heeseung smiles triumphantly, knowing he’s scared him off for good. Heeseung fixes your hair, gathering it all to sit nicely at the back, running his fingers through it as he silently warns any other men in the club that you’re no one but his.
You hate to admit it, but it turns you on a little.
But your responsible head twists back on and you understand what Heeseung has done again, “Heeseung,” you slap his chest and push him away, “Stop fucking babying me!” Standing up from the stool, you weave through the people at the club in search of the exit, Heeseung’s antics finally pushing you too far. 
"I am doing my job, Y/N," he shouts over the chatter and music, his voice barely audible amidst the din of the club.
"No, you aren't. That is not your job," you retort, your voice rising above the noise. "Pretending to be my boyfriend and scaring away potential fucks is not part of the remit!"
Your words hang in the air, heavy with frustration and disappointment. You push him away one more time, creating some distance between you before storming out of the club.
Fuming with anger and adrenaline, you make your way through the car park, your mind racing with conflicting emotions. Part of you resents Heeseung for his overbearing behaviour, but another part can't deny the thrill you felt with his protective display. It's infuriating to admit, but the feeling of his possessiveness is sending shivers straight down south, You hate that you're even thinking like this.
His touch on your ear and neck lingers in your mind, igniting a whirlwind of desire and confusion. You're not thinking straight anymore, and if Heeseung catches up to you, you're not sure how you'll react - whether it'll be pure anger or pure lust.
Either way, you need to get this steam out. 
“Y/N! Get back here right now!” he shouts, pushing past the men who are ogling your figure. 
As you hear his voice, something takes over you. You pull the first guy you see into a kiss, holding onto this jacket as your mouth moves against his.
Heeseung sees red, blood red as he watches you kiss the stranger. It’s reckless behaviour, your lips moving roughly against a guy probably twice your age but, of course, the guy doesn’t mind. He wraps his arms around you to bring you in closer. That gesture shakes Heeseung from his shock coma, his emotions fueling him.
But Heeseung can't stand idly by any longer. With a guttural growl, he yanks the man away from you, his anger propelling him into action. He delivers a punishing punch to the man's face, the force of it sending him crashing to the ground, sprawled across the gravel of the car park.
Heeseung doesn't stop there. He delivers a few more swift kicks to the man's prone form before turning his attention to you. Grabbing your arm with bruised hands, he hauls you towards the car, his grip tight and unforgiving.
"You're so fucking irresponsible," he seethes, his voice dripping with venom as he struggles to contain the storm of emotions raging inside him. The veins in his neck bulge with the intensity of his anger, his eyes flashing with a dangerous fire.
“Sorry if I want to have some fun,” you argue back, trying your hardest to release yourself from his firm hold.
As you both approach your car, he opens the door and shoves you in, “And kissing and fucking random guys is fun?” he slams the door behind you once he knows all your limbs are inside the vehicle.
Striding over to the driver's seat, he gets in quickly, locking the doors so you can’t make a quick escape. You don’t even attempt to try and flee, already knowing you’re only going to end up in a game of cat and mouse all night, and in this weather with your dress isn’t fun. 
“I’m 20 years old, nearly 21, I can fuck if I want to,” you shout back, slamming your hand on the backrest to hammer home your point. You are old enough and wise enough to make your own decisions, Heeseung is only there to make sure you don’t end up getting kidnapped or whatever it is your dad thinks will happen to you.
"It's not wanting to fuck that is my problem, it's who you want to fuck," he growls, his voice tinged with bitterness.
You want to slap him, angry that he doesn’t seem to get it, “I don’t get to fuck anyone thanks to you,” you retort back with venom laced in your voice.
His entire body turns to face you, his gaze piercing through you as he asks, "You want to get fucked?"
“Yes! Obviously!”
Heeseung lunges towards you, pressing his lips to yours in a matter of seconds to your answer. At first, you’re confused at what is happening, the unfamiliar feeling of his mouth melting into yours causes your head to thump.
But as he moves you to lay back, flicking the seat to recline all the way back, you find yourself chasing his body with yours, your lips like magnets as they draw themselves back to his. He tastes sweet, not like how you expected, you were presuming it’s the flavour of his vape he swears he doesn’t use.
Shuffling your way up the seat, you spread your legs so he can situate himself neatly in between you, knees resting against the edge of the seat for support, his hands roaming all over your body and his kisses never faltering. 
He was hungry for you, those tiny tastes of your neck served as appetisers before the main meal which was your mouth and tongue. Roughly, he brings one of his palms to cover your throat as squeezes, the consequential parting of your lips as you gasp gives him access to lick into your mouth. The grip on your throat is heavenly, just tight enough to make your brain go fuzzy but not to the point you think you’re in danger.
With a quick roll of his hips, you feel the outline of his cock being pushed onto your core, even through jeans he’s prominent, only building up your anticipation more. He does this a few times, each time the rough edges of his zipper rub your barely covered clit, eliciting a moan from you.
Heeseung's smirk widens at your response, his gaze flickering with desire as he watches the desperation in your eyes. Without hesitation, he leans in closer, his breath hot against your ear as he repeats his question, this time with less anger and more longing. "You want to get fucked?"
Your breath catches in your throat at his words, your desire for him burning hotter than ever before. "Yes, please, Heeseung," you whimper, using your hands to hold his hips against yours as you rut yourself desperately against him, humping his length through his jeans. 
Heeseung almost feels bad for you, clearly, he underestimated how much you needed to seek release. No wonder you were willing to entertain someone like Woobin. He had to make this worth the frustration he has been causing you.
The pressure of Heeseung's hand around your throat tightens, eliciting a gasp from your lips as you struggle to catch your breath, "You sure you want to fuck a guy like me?" he hisses, his voice tinged with both agitation and desire, the intensity of his gaze burning into yours.
Despite the lack of air, you manage to choke out your response, your voice laced with desperation, "Yes, Heeseung, I need you."
A smug smirk plays across Heeseung's lips at your admission, his grip on you tightening ever so slightly. "Oh, I know you need me, Sweetheart," he replies, his tone dripping with confidence. "You're staining my jeans as we speak." His words send a shiver down your spine, a potent mixture of arousal and frustration coursing through you.
But then his question cuts through the haze of desire, forcing you to confront the reality of the situation, "I'm asking if you want to go back to little Woobin now?" he taunts, knowing full well the answer already. He just wants to hear you say it.
With a shake of your head, you release your hold on his hips and begin to unbutton his jeans, determination blazing in your eyes. "No," you confess, your voice barely above a whisper. "No, I only want you."
“Thought so,” he kisses you again before releasing your throat, focusing his hand's attention on ridding you of your pants while you work to get his trousers out of the way. He tugs your underwear down, tossing them to his side of the car before lining himself up at your hole.
Wrapping your legs around his hips, you try to push him to slip into you, but he keeps his hips rigid, only making you look more desperate for him. He taps your clit with the head of his cock, each time it slaps down, he echoes it with a tut.
“You don’t even know if I’ll fit,” his voice whispering in your ear as he licks the shell of it, “All those preppy rich boy cocks aren’t anything like mine,” he takes your wrist in his hand and guides you to feel his length as it sits neatly in your folds, “See?”
Whining, you pout, knowing he’s just teasing you for badness, “I promise I can handle it,” you say lowly, pumping his cock between your cunt and hand. The motion makes Heeseung hiss in pleasure, the feeling of his cock trapped only adding to his anticipation of being inside you.
He moves in for a chaste kiss on your lips, his touch soft despite the intense need between you, "I'll go slow," he tells you, his words a balm in the midst of the intense moment. Even in the heat of passion, Heeseung is driven by his instinct to protect you.
With one swift movement, he slides into your heat slowly, letting you stretch around him. Surprisingly to both of you, your pussy is accommodating him perfectly, the stretch a little painful but not unbearable. He shallowly moves his hips back and forth, watching his cock disappear into you further and further each time until he’s bottoming out and tapping your cervix lightly.
Heeseung isn't wrong when he tells you that no other cock you've had can compare to his. Every curve and ridge of his dick seems perfectly designed to hit every sweet spot inside you, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. It's an otherworldly sensation, the way he gains traction with each movement, his confidence growing as he senses your comfort and willingness to take more.
"You're so tight, baby girl," he murmurs between kisses.
Lost in the throes of passion, you cling to Heeseung, your bodies moving in perfect synchronisation as you lose yourself in the sensation of him filling you completely. Each thrust sends shockwaves of pleasure coursing through you, igniting a fire that burns hotter with each passing moment.
Heeseung's hands roam over your body, exploring every curve and contour with a hunger that matches your own. His touch is both gentle and possessive, his fingers leaving a trail of fire in their wake as they trace the contours of your skin. The pads of his fingers roughly grab your tit that’s managed to escape your dress, twisting your nipple between his finger and thumb.
Your hands are in a similar position, running along his toned stomach under his shirt, trying to commit it to memory, just in case you never get to do this again. You wish this was happening with zero clothes in the way but the desperation between you both got in the way. 
As the intensity of your desire builds, Heeseung's movements become more urgent, his thrusts growing deeper and more powerful with each passing moment. You can feel the tension coiling within you, the promise of release looming on the horizon like a distant storm.
“You’re squeezing me so tight, Y/N. I won’t last much longer,” he admits, knowing that he’s close to the edge himself.
“Need it, I need you to cum,” you moan loudly, your hand leaving his skin to find your clit, rubbing it vigorously as you try and speed along your orgasm.
Your words drive Heeseung to pound into you faster, willing both of you to come undone together. The car shakes as you both speed up your movements, your hips trying to match his rhythm to create a deeper impact with each buck of his hips.
With a final, desperate thrust, Heeseung drives you both over the edge, sending you spiralling into ecstasy. Wave after wave of pleasure crashes over you, leaving you breathless and trembling under him, the ropes of his cum coating your heat. 
“Oh, fuck,” he groans, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he feels his cock swell and throb inside of you, “Cum with me, Y/N. Please.”
Circling your arms around his shoulders, you hug him close to you as his body shivers, still reeling from the aftermath of his climax. You lay like that for a few minutes, processing everything that just transpired between you both.
“Are you okay?” he asks, holding himself up to face you, one hand wiping your sweaty bangs from your forehead.
Nodding, you shut your eyes, massaging his shoulders lightly as you let bliss take over you, “I feel great,” you smile.
Heeseung grabs your pants from the driver seat and bundles them up, using them as a makeshift cloth to clean you up, spitting on them before running them along your swollen cunt, “We can’t do this ever again,” he says quietly, his breathing starting to regulate again.
“What do you mean?” you lean on your elbows, looking up at him with confusion, “Was it not okay?”
Of course, it was okay, Heeseung thinks your pussy might be the best he’s ever had, but it’s not logical to try and keep this fantasy alive. You were too different, this encounter was fueled by anger and rage between you both, hardly the start of a picture-perfect relationship.
He discards your underwear and pulls his own bottoms up, tucking his softening cock into his boxers and jeans, “It was great, but I’m supposed to protect you, not fuck you,” he says, shuffling back into his seat, starting the car.
“We’ll use protection next time,” you shrug, fixing your seat to sit upright, “It’s no big deal.”
Heeseung sighs, his frustration evident as he starts the car and pulls out onto the road. "You know that's not what I mean, Y/N," he replies, his voice tinged with resignation.
The rest of the drive home is filled with silence, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. Heeseung's thoughts swirl with the fear of losing his job, the guilt of failing to protect you, and the sudden need to be inside you all the time.
“We forget about this, okay?” he asks, eyes flickering to you.
You nod in agreement, but a smirk tugs at the corners of your lips, betraying your true thoughts. Deep down, you know that you won’t forget about it, and this will certainly not be the last time you find yourself fucking Lee Heeseung - You'll make sure of it.
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eufezco · 5 months ago
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THE MUSE
Benedict needs to practice female form. Naked female form. And who better to help him than his lifelong friend?
Benedict x fem!reader (smut with plot, friends to lovers) + no use of y/n. english isn't my first language (!)
Benedict didn't know how to ask you.
You had been friends for a long time, your families were practically one. Always so united, your mamas took walks every afternoon, gossiping about the ton and your fathers had been friends since childhood. You and Benedict were bound to meet.
You and he grew up together. You were friends with his siblings, you had held sleepovers with his sisters and won cricket matches against his brothers. Lady Violet Bridgerton loved you like a daughter and your mother loved Benedict like a son.
But your friendship with him had always been special.
When you were twelve, you ran away together to camp on the riverbank, just because Benedict wanted to draw the moon reflecting in the water at night. The following year, despite the scolding you received for your river adventure, you and Benedict sneaked onto private land just to pluck a few petals from the summer sunflowers to get him the perfect shade of yellow.
You and Benedict were very close. Of course, there had always been rumors about what kind of relationship you two had and that Lady Whistledown had only added more fuel to the fire writing about you two in her pamphlets. You and him never cared about that, and neither your families but it was true that you two have had to face some uncomfortable conversations with them about it.
That's why Benedict didn't know how to ask you. You had a lot of trust in each other, you had always supported his artistic vocation but perhaps this was too much.
—Oh, thank God you've come. I am in need of a model —. It was the first thing Benedict said to you when you entered his studio. The maid closed the door behind you, leaving you alone with him. Thank goodness the Bridgertons' service was very discreet, if anyone found out that you and him were alone in a room it would cause quite a scandal.
—Good evening to you too, Benedict.
—My apologies. Good evening —. He leaned to kiss your cheek.— I need a model —. He let you know one more time.
—How have you been? Very stressed from what I can tell —. You tried to have a normal conversation with him before you paid attention to what he required.
—Indeed.
You sighed. —Well, what is it? I thought we were going for a walk.
He nodded. —We can go outside later. But I need to get this done by tomorrow and I feel like I'm losing my mind.
—And...?
—I need practice female form.
You slowly nodded. You were aware that Benedict had been recently attending this art academy, you were happy that he was finally able to pursue his passion and you couldn't deny that within the characteristic desperation of the artists, he looked very attractive. Benedict's hair was a mess, his white shirt was half-open, his sleeves were rolled up. He would never have allowed himself be seen in society like that and you were grateful because otherwise he would have all the girls after him.
—And you want me to...?
—Pose for me.
You weren't quite sure how to do it but it seemed easy and fun. All the times he had drawn you, he had done it when you were distracted, reading, having tea with his sisters... The pencil moved effortlessly across the paper when he saw you laughing with Daphne or playing with the cards that Colin had brought back from his trip to Spain. He was already too embarrassed to admit each time he drew you and Anthony teased him by saying that if he didn't propose to you, he would show you his drawings, and Benedict's heart skipped a beat because he knew that his older brother was not known for being a joker.
Benedict still didn't know how he was going to ask you, maybe it was better to just let it out.
—And what shall I do? Just stand here? Like this? —You laughed and made a dramatic pose like the ones you saw in the paintings in the gallery you visited together.
—I need you to ...
Benedict swallowed nervously. He looked down at your dress and then directly into your eyes. You raised your eyebrows, waiting for him to finish. You also looked at your dress to see if there was something wrong with it.
—Benedict I don't think I understand what you are trying to say—
—I need to practice naked female form.
Benedict immediately noticed your horrified face. He wanted to go back seconds ago when he hadn't even asked but if it wasn't you, who would it be? —I will not draw your face. No one will know it is you. It will be purely professional, I just need a few minutes.
You bit the inside of your cheeks and decided to trust him when he said that it would be for professional purposes only. The unfinished nude sketches that made your cheeks burn when you saw them as you entered his studio showed you that Benedict found no inspiration in the bodies of the academy models. After a nervous swallowing, you nodded and Benedict's face lit up. He hugged you but you didn't have time to hug him back because he quickly went to prepare the canvas.
—Is the door locked? —You asked him as you shed the little jacket that covered your shoulders along with your gloves. Benedict rushed off to lock it and before he returned to his position behind the canvas. You called his name and gulped, your hands failing in their attempts to unzip your own dress. —May I please get some help?
—Oh, yes, of course. My apologies.
Benedict stood behind you, his fingers brushing the skin on your back as he began to slowly unzip it until the dress slid down your body and fell at your feet. Benedict felt like he had to look away, as if in a few seconds you would not be completely exposed to his eyes. He offered you his hand to help you get up on a small pedestal that he had in his studio. Once you got rid of your underwear, you felt vulnerable but not as vulnerable as when Benedict ran his eyes over your body from his position and with the paintbrush already in his hand.
He let out all the air he had in his lungs, he couldn't take his eyes off you. Benedict could not deny that he had imagined it on many occasions, but reality far surpassed his imagination.
—What... What should I do, Benedict? —You hugged yourself.
—Put your arms down and stand like that. You look perfect, darling.
Your cheeks burned after that. You did as he said. His brow was slightly furrowed in concentration as his eyes went from the canvas to you and back to the canvas. Benedict asked you to turn around and he squeezed his eyes tightly after seeing your bare ass. Purely professional, this was purely professional, he had to remind himself.
Benedict grabbed a wooden chair and walked over to you. Your heart skipped a beat once he was so close to your naked body and he felt the exact same. He placed the chair next to you and invited you to sit on it. He nodded slowly when you did, focusing on the new position of your body. Benedict went back behind the canvas and made a few sketches.
He cleared his throat. —Would it be possible if you... Could you spread your legs?
Your cheeks grew hot and you squeezed your thighs together.
The knot you had in your stomach got tighter and you felt your chest rise and fall slowly thanks to your deep breathing. You straightened your back in the chair and you did as Benedict asked. You felt the air of the room caressing you in that warm and wet area and he held his breath, his chest puffing out as your legs slowly opened for him.
—You are beautiful, darling. Do not be ashamed —. Every new inch he discovered of your body made you look more perfect in his eyes. It was as nice to see you as it was to paint you.
Your cheeks grew even hotter but this time it wasn't just your cheeks, your whole body was in flames starting with the area between your legs that was so exposed to his eyes.
—Could we try another position?
You nodded, relieved, you were sure it was painfully obvious the way you had gotten wet and you just hoped he was busy enough to not notice.
He dropped the paintbrush and got up from the stool on which he was sitting. Benedict felt the knot in his stomach grow tighter with each step he took closer to your naked body. You moved in the chair out of nervousness. Benedict leaned slightly over you. —May I? —He asked before touching your leg. His voice made you shiver, he was so close, you felt his hand brush against the skin of your thigh. You nodded and looked up at him while he repositioned your leg. Benedict's eyes meet yours, so helpless, his lifelong friend, was that innocence in your eyes, or was that...?
Lust.
Your hand grabbed the back of Benedict's head and pressed his lips against yours. His eyes widened in surprise but immediately after, his hands went to cup your cheeks as he fell to his knees in front of you. You opened your legs so he could place himself between them and be closer to you. The shameless hands of your friend traveled down your neck until they reached your breasts. You moaned against his mouth once he gave them a gentle squeeze, the soft palm of his hand brushing against your nipples.
Benedict left a trail of soft kisses from your cheeks to your collarbones and your breasts. He took one in his mouth as his hand played with the other, his tongue moving in circles around your nipple and sucking on it at the same time. Your breathing quickened and your lips parted to let out soft moans when Benedict's teeth brushed your sensitive nipple.
He let go with a pop sound and watched you gasp for air. Benedict placed his hands on the inside of your thighs and caressed your skin there before he slowly pushed them to open even further. His hands prepared you for him, his eyes asked for your permission. You nodded and Benedict flashed you a smile, that was all he needed. He peppered your thighs with kisses, taking small bites and kissing your sore skin afterwards. Your breathing deepened as his mouth got closer to where you needed him the most. He was so close he could smell you and oh Lord, his dick got hard as a rock at that moment.
You took a sharp breath when he licked from your entrance to your clit and savored your juices in his mouth. The image was completely sinful, his blue eyes were locked on you while his lips sucked on your bundle of nerves, his hands forced your legs to stay open for him. Your head was thrown back, your mouth was open in a perfect "O" form, your fingers digging into his scalp. Once he noticed the desperation in the way your hips rolled against his mouth, two of his fingers entered you easily. You stifled a loud moan, throwing a hand over your mouth.
Benedict hummed, sending vibrations to your clit.
—Talk to me. How does this feel? —He required.
—So good. It feels... —You bit down your lower lip, his fingers sank deeper. —It feels like heaven.
He was satisfied with your answer.
Benedict fucked you with his fingers until you had to grab his wrist to get him to stop, it was too much. Your legs closed around his head but his lips were still attached to your clit and he didn't stop until he heard how your moans turned into whines and cries, not until he noticed how your back arched off the chair and your chest rose and fell uncontrolled thanks to your panting. Benedict didn't stop, not until he felt how your pussy was clenching so hard that almost pushed his fingers out of you and he heard you moan his name one last time as your grip on his hair tightened.
He gave you all the time you needed to catch your breath, kissing your legs and intertwining his fingers with yours while you came down from your high. Benedict's blue eyes were locked on you making every effort to later recall every single part of you.
—How are you feeling, darling? —Benedict stood on his feet and held your hands so that you would stand up as well. Before you could answer his question, you both realized how your legs were shaking and laughed. At the same time, you felt Benedict's grip on your hands grow stronger to keep you from falling.
Benedict leaned in and kissed your lips in the sweetest possible way. The tickling sensation in your body that you felt when you were naked in front of him had turned into a different kind of tickling, now focused on your stomach. It was so familiar, you had felt it so many times when you looked at him but now, with his lips on yours and his hands treating you with so much affection and care, it was different.
You could confirm that it was not only lust but also love.
You hummed against his lips. —Wait, did you finish your drawing?
Benedict shook his head. —But, please, do not worry about that. I will help you get dressed —. You frowned confused and he gave a quick kiss to your lips so, as he had told you, you would not worry. —I can finish later. There's no way I'm forgetting your body, my dear.
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giannaln4 · 4 months ago
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Sleep
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lando norris x fem reader
summary: You always had a hard time falling asleep, but it seems like all you need is Lando to give you a little help. (1k words)
warnings: language, fluff
a/n: this is just a little something i wrote when, of course, i couldn't fall asleep. i hope you like it! also, i don't know why these are so short; i'm really trying to write longer fics. anyway, please send some requests!
↺ back to navigation— send me a request!
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You were not sure how long it had been, but it felt like you had been tossing and turning for hours. You opened your eyes for a moment to make sure it was still dark outside, letting out a sigh of relief when you confirmed it was.
You forced your eyes closed again, getting closer to your boyfriend, hoping his warmth would relax you enough to make you fall asleep. But, of course, that wasn’t the case.
It was like this sometimes—actually more often than not. You never had the best relationship with sleep, your mind forcing you to stay wide awake until the sun was peeking through your window.
You opened your eyes again, finding the clock that rested on your nightstand. 2:40 AM. “Fuck,” you thought to yourself. Slowly, you started to kick the covers and get off the bed. You tried to be as quiet as possible, knowing you couldn’t wake up your boyfriend. You knew how exhausting it was to travel as much as he did, as well as how much his job wore him down; he needed to sleep.
You looked back at your bed before carefully opening the door, admiring how peaceful and pretty Lando looked as he slept, his breathing slow and calm. Then, you finally exited the room and closed the door behind you.
A cup of tea always made you feel better, even if it didn't necessarily help you sleep. You hoped it would happen tonight, though.
As you gathered everything you needed for it, your mind started to wander. A lot of things flooded your mind, but mainly what you needed to do before leaving for the next race, mentally making a list of what you had to pack.
You were so distracted that you didn't notice the milk carton falling off the counter until you heard the loud noise it made when it hit the ground. Although the noise wasn't particularly loud, the silence in your shared apartment was so intense that even the sound of a hairpin falling could be deafening. You quickly bent down to pick it up, stopping it from spilling completely.
Before finding something to clean up with, you stayed still for a moment, looking back at the hallway and mentally praying you didn't wake Lando up. When you didn’t hear anything, you proceeded to clean up the mess, relieved that you didn’t disturb his sleep.
You continued preparing your tea, and when you were finally done, you took a sip to make sure it was good enough. It wasn’t, but you didn’t feel like starting from scratch, so you just made your way to the couch. 
A few minutes went by, and you were just scrolling on TikTok, your hand still holding the hot cup of tea as you occasionally took little sips. That was something you were used to doing this late at night, killing time until your body was tired enough to go back to bed. You looked at the time again, sighing loudly at the fact that you weren’t as tired as you hoped you would be.
“Hey,” you heard behind you, pulling your attention away from your phone. You put the mug down and turned around, spotting a sleepy Lando walking towards you, his eyes tired as he yawned.
"Hi, baby,” you whispered, as if speaking any louder would scare away the sleep he still had. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?” “No, you didn’t. I just… I tried to reach for you, but you weren’t there.”
“Oh… I’m sorry, love.”
“It’s okay,” he smiled softly at you, sitting next to you and making you scoot over. He was aware of your sleeping issues, so he knew what this was about. “Can’t sleep?” You shook your head as you remembered the endless tossing and turning before getting up. “No, it’s one of those nights again.”
“Everything okay?” He asked, concern evident in his voice.
“Yeah, I just can’t seem to fall asleep... I don’t know; I guess I was hoping the tea would help,” you answered, signalling the mug now resting on the coffee table.
“Can I?” He asked as he reached for it, but you quickly shook your head.
“It’s not very good.” Giggling a little, he took it anyway and took a small sip. He didn’t want to make you feel bad about your tea skills, but his face gave it away. “Told you.”
He laughed again, making you smile “I’ve had worse.”
“I really doubt it.” 
“Oh, believe me, you’ve gotten better.” 
You paid attention to how he leaned back on the couch, his hands pulling you to his lap and embracing you. You relaxed into his arms, feeling at ease for the first time that night.
“You need to sleep.”
“I know, but so do you.” He just hummed in response as he caressed your back. “I’m serious, Lando; you need to rest as much as you can before going to Silverstone. I’ll be okay.”
“I care more about you getting enough rest.” His words warmed your heart, but you really needed him to go back to sleep.
“Why don’t you go back to bed, and I’ll join you as soon as I’m done here?”
“I’m comfortable here.”
“Lando-” You started, but he interrupted you.
“Let’s just stay here for a bit, yeah?” You knew there was no point in arguing with him, so you just nodded and hugged him back. Your head was on his chest, allowing you to listen to his heartbeat; your mind focused on it as if it were your favourite sound in the world.
You didn’t notice at first, but the way your breathing was syncing with his made you fall into a much calmer state. So much so that you started to fall asleep in his arms. He, however, was well aware of this. His hands kept soothing the skin under your sleeping shirt until he felt you completely drift off into a peaceful sleep, finally.
He waited just a few more minutes until he was sure he wouldn't wake you up. Slowly, he started getting up, trying to be as careful as he could as he carried you to your room.
Once he got there, he laid you down in bed, happy that his plan had worked. He laid next to you and pulled you into him again, kissing your temple softly with a smile. “Good night, baby,” he whispered, falling asleep almost immediately.
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asstrolo · 5 months ago
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astrology observations for sad people
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— the signs who I personally believe are really misunderstood by their peers are often capricorns and aquarius because of their saturnian tendencies where they become the mature, bigger person or are aloof of how they're presenting themselves, they always think they know better or people feel very intimidated by their personalities and, because people don't understand them, they alienate them,
— aries and scorpio as they are very intense, over confident people, other's might feel put-off by them, they can be very controlling and have a "I don't care" kind of personality that doesn't usually goes well with others, their ways of always trying to make themselves clear and understood causes the opposite effect, they are often misjudged as villainous or mean,
— geminis are also put in a place of having to know better, not given a chance or space to mess up as they are very intelligent people and show it, others might have big expectations which are often not met since they prefer to do what makes them happy and makes them curious, they tend to over-inflate themselves, or the opposite, and people take their words too seriously or not at all, very polarizing sign.
— a stellium in 4th can be super difficult to deal with, specially if it falls on not easy planets like mars, or saturn, uranus, or pluto. These people are always dragged back to their family issues no matter how much they try to escape, their parents maybe gave them too much responsibilities as little kids or vented to their child without thinking of the consequences, if these people ever decide to have a family they should always consider if they're doing it because they want to or because it is what's expected of them.
— chiron in social signs as gemini, aquarius and libra feel very alienated at all times, having social interactions is a learning experience for them, whether is good or bad, I also notice people usually get obsessed with them? They don't respect these people¡s space or it could be the other way around, to me is a placement where you'll learn to not be socially inept or teach people how to treat you right for some reason?
— saturn IS a complicated planet, it depends on the person's other planets and aspects how they deal with saturn, a person with moon conjuct saturn has a harder time dealing with their emotions than a capricorn moon. Even when the energies are similar, they don't have the same impact.
— now, a person with a capricornian stellium or dominant does deal with the saturn energy much comfortably than a person with sun trine saturn, because they were born with it. I personally believe you accommodate, or your aspects accommodate to you as you grow and evolve as a person.
— a pisces stellium, specially if is on moon or ascendants, is very perceptive to other's opinion on them, not in a superficial way but more on a "does this person thinks i'm being fair or mean?" Let's not forget the sister sign of Pisces is Virgo, so these signs also share the analytical or more neurotic way of seeing the world. A Pisces Rising is very self-aware of how they come off to people or how they are seen, they might not show it or say anything about it, a Pisces mercury might be self-conscious about how they approach others, how their voice sounds or how they come off when talking.
— I do believe leo's have a harder time being appreciated by people, as they devote to other's so easily they could neglect themselves in the process. Is the kind of person who is always looking out for someone to make happy or to make them feel comfortable because is something they want reciprocated. But this is a thing that can happen to fire signs a lot, they can be overbearing or too kind to people that it ends up backfiring on them, they have a very childlike mentally.
— is true what they say, a 12th house stellium in a natal chart makes the person passive and/or too in their own world, they have premonitions in dreams, but I've also seen these individuals have a really hard time with sleep, they have paranormal experiences a lot that some of them are used to it. They can be in some sort of medication, but not all, and not always these people are medicated or doing substances, they have an easier time to have out-of-body experiences, like lucid dreaming or sleep paralysis, these can occur because these people are super sensitive and get easily drained and stressed. Is important they are taking care of their energy at all times, I've met many that have one, two or more 12th house placement where I've found out some other person has been doing some sort of witchcraft on them, or have a big negative energy that this 12th houser sucks accidentally.
— having a mercurial dominant or rising can be super difficult when it comes to feeling, they tend to rationalize everything too much, are easily distracted and indulgent, they are very, very anxious at all times on all situations, even if they show otherwise. they overthink things too much, are the kind to be incredibly self-aware or completely out of touch with themselves.
— the ascendant aspecting negatively the mercury gives the individual speech impediment or a very shy personality, an almost inaudible voice or a raspy one, people with this placement have a harder time getting their thoughts across, or people might misinterpret them.
— keeping the conversation going, mercury negatively aspecting saturn makes a shy and reserved person, someone who, as a kid or a teen, has problems with being heard, or people simply didn't care or asked for this person's opinions, they might had been very codependent on an adult or somebody else to talk or to get to be seen, as they grow older they learn to communicate rather excellently, they might want to treat their shyness or whatever problem they have with unwanted attention or negligence
— neptune in personal houses like the 1st, 7th, 4th or 10th is really tricky. you might ignore gut feelings bout certain individuals, or on the contrary, believe someone is good when they aren't. these people can be their own worst enemies as they are super perceptive of how they come across to others, or how others make them feel.
— neptune in the 1st is common on actors and models and singers, usually on famous people, because they can create a fantasy of how they want people to see them, or act like chameleons around people, this creates a series of identity crisis during their lives.
— neptune in 7th is prone to feel things that really aren't there? they convince themselves somebody hates them or likes them for just one interaction, these individuals are like a sponge in social situations and they take everything somebody tells them to the heart. they also are known to lie a lot to people on behalf of good manners, they like to be liked.
— neptune in 4th house has a really confusing or unclear family situation, they might adopt the role of the parent when they shouldn't, or are treated as a child even as an adult, something in their family, in what they think is normal growing up, isn't. the most likely to stay in a bad situation for many, many years because they don't know any better, or think it's normal.
— neptune in 10th, although it deals with fame and impersonal relationships, to me, is just as fundamental as the houses listed above. they don't see themselves through their own eyes, or feel like they depend on other's perceptions on themselves too much, they are confident, or pretend it really well. these individuals know how to act the part, how to commit to the bit, they never feel that sense of belonging anywhere, because they might show different parts of their personalities to different people
— for me, the hardest moons to have are capricorn, scorpio and virgo.
— capricorn moon is a strictly analytical sign, they don't feel comfortable in the moon as is where the emotions and insecurities shine the most.
— scorpio moon is a very intense sign, as opposite to the Capricorn, they can be super emotional, or completely numb, very extremist and their emotions are black or white, polarizing.
— virgo moon is extremely difficult, they don't like to have to feel things, they like to think and act with precaution and it's hard for them to let their emotions slip, the kind of friend who'd have the most practical advice to all sort of topics, a helpful hand in all situations, but when it comes to them as individuals, they let themselves be too much, their head is always at a thousand percent. From what I've gathered of this moon is that, yes, they are neurotic when it comes to certain things, but completely careless to others, and it's usually to themselves, you won't ever see a Virgo moon misbehave or dress bad, but they can hold a lot of suppressed shame or anger or sadness, like they tie it with a bow in a box and keep it locked.
— lastly, no aspect or moon or sign is bad, they are just more difficult than others, there are people with easy aspects, like sun sextile or trine jupiter, they are prone to idealization and inferiority complexes. it's true that a person that has the harmonious aspects is lazier or gets unmotivated way easier. nothing is really set in stone, you can have a moon conjunct saturn and a cancer mercury in 9th house, your way of expressing yourself is more reserved, but optimistic and even childlike. when it comes to astrology, every single aspect and sign, and house counts to describe a person.
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sturnlsstuff · 2 months ago
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MISSED YOU | chris sturniolo: part 2
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pairing: dealer!chris x fem!reader
summary: after finishing deals for today, chris calls you to "check" on you, but he ends up coming over and making a mess on your couch.
warnings: mdni, smut, sub!chris, dom!reader, handjob, pet names, kinda bratty reader + more...
a/n: part one here!! didnt plan to do more than one part but yall seemed to like it so here it is. once again english isn't my first language so sorry for any mistakes
~~~~
chris wasn't planning to end up like this. on your couch, his hard throbbing dick leaking with precum aching for the release you refused to give him. it was such a pretty view for you. his brown hair was sticking out from under the hood of his black fresh love hoodie, his flushed cheeks and pink swollen lips, that he keeps biting to muffle his pathetic whines and moans, that escapes his mouth. all of this because of you. when he called you earlier, all he wanted was to actually check on you, since he was aware how much he wore you out after your last sex in his car two days ago. but you kept being sarcastic, your bratty attitude annoyed him, and he promised he'll come over once he's done with his deals, and then teach you how to keep your pretty little mouth shut. things took a different turn quick.
~~~~
(...)
"i'm tellin' you, ma, i just wanted to check on ya. why you so surprised, huh?" chris asks smirking and watching your cheeks turn a deeper shade of pink, it was visible even through the screen.
"nothing, i'm just...." you sigh, deciding to finally change the topic. chris usually was texting you to ask if you're good if he went too hard on you, but he never calls. until now. "whatever, forget it. how long will you be there?"
"hmmm, i have two more people and then i'm done. what, you miss me?" he grins more when you roll your eyes in response.
"no, idiot, i don't.."
"that's interesting, sweetheart, you said somethin' else the last time we-"
"shut the fuck up." you cut him off, making his smirk widen.
"easy there, don't talk to me like that."
you roll your eyes again. "maybe go back working, what is your lazy ass doing on the phone, huh?"
"my lazy ass? you the one doin' nothin' all day on this couch while others are being productive."
"then come back to being productive, dickhead."
chris grins, narrowing his eyes. he was somewhere outside, you could barely see him because it was dark, but the light from the lantern fell on his face, highlighting his facial features. "careful, ma, don't get all arrogant on me. y'know if you were here right now, i'd shut your pretty mouth real quick."
"well, but i'm not with you there, soooo..."
"a'ight go back to lounging on the couch all day, watchin' those shitty ass movies." he looks up for a second, before looking down on his phone, you could hear some man's voice in the back.
"keep calling me lazy and i won't ever suck you off again." you raised your eyebrow, giving him a fake smile. he licks his lips, answering after a moment.
"oh c'mon, sweetheart, don't be a bitch."
"damn christopher, now you be callin' me a bitch? you're fucked." you shake your head, but a little smile is playing on your lips.
"stop acting all snarky and sarcastic, and maybe i will stop callin' you that."
"cry about it."
"keep it up, smartass, i'll make sure you gonna be the one cryin' when i come over."
you narrows your eyes, seeing his stupid smile on his face. "who said i will let you come over?"
"i'm finishing soon, see you there, ma. i'll be takin' out all that stupid words of yours, outta your pretty little mouth."
~~~~
he was asking himself, how did he end up with you making him whimper. when he stepped inside your house twenty minutes ago, he was so ready to make you regret talking to him like that, until he pulled you onto his lap and you started grinding down on him. he was trying to keep his control, but you just knew how to make him lose it.
all of this started because you told him he stole your outfit. you both were wearing black fresh love hoodies, the hood over your heads. the difference was you had grey sweatpants on and he had the black ones.
"no, YOU stole my outfit. you just copied me." he said to you, shaking his head with a grin.
"yes, 'cause the only thing on my mind is copying you."
"stop bein' childish"
"i am childish?" your eyes widen, looking at him as he's an idiot.
this banter quickly turned into you two making out and you teasing chris. your tongue sliding inside his mouth, your hips slowly moving, making a little bit of a friction. his dick was already hard, aching for your touch, but you weren't gonna give him what he wanted that fast.
"mmmhm, shit..." chris mutters against your lips, bucking up his hips but you quickly pressed them down with your hands, now breaking the kiss.
"oh, are u impatient?" you smile looking down at him. he opens his eyes, scanning your face for a bit, before reaching a hand to push your hood off your head and get a better look on your face. a little smile appears on his lips when he sees your messy hair. you press herself harder onto him, making him hiss.
"fffuck, ma, you gonna drive me insane-"
your hands travels under his hoodie, just running your long nails up and down his chest, before you start toying with the waistband of his sweatpants, continuing moving your hips.
chris watches you as you take your hand out from under his hoodie, and start to toy with the waist band of his sweatpants, he keeps staring up at you and his dick grows harder with every second.
“ughhhh...ffffuck i know exactly what you doin'..."
"yeah? what am i doing chris?" she plays innocent, keeping the eye contact with him and then she grinds against him more, his tip brushing against her pussy, making both of them whimper.
his lip between his teeth as he tries to control himself, but his cock is painfully sensitive, twitching in his pants. he puts his hands on the sides of your hips, pulling you down against him more as he groans a bit. you feel he's careful though, remembering he left bruises on your skin two days ago.
“shittt, you playin’ with me, mama.. stop doin' that"
"you want me to stop, hm?"
"ohh, no, don't stop doin' that, just... stop playin' with me.."
"and why would i?" she stops moving on him, her hand travels down and while looking him in the eyes, she starts stroking him through his sweatpants. chris lets out another quiet whine, throwing his head back on the couch, his dick leaking, begging for some kind of relief.
"cuz i'm hard as hell, it hurts"
she smiles, squeezing him slightly and answering after a moment. "that's cute."
"oh- fuckkkk, you fuckin' little tease-" he groans, closing his eyes for a moment.
you keep moving your hand, watching him trying so hard to hold back his moans, but he isn't able to. chris looks up at you, seeing how you’re so invested and watching him struggle and he feels you keep stroking him through his sweatpants, he’s so hard now from you just touching him like this.
"yeahhhh.. just like that.. oh god, that feels s'good..”
he groans softly again as you continue to stroke him through, he’s starting to leak more but his sweatpants are still in the way.
"ahh careful... you might cum in your pants." she smirks, biting her lip. she was getting more and more turned on just by watching him like this, but it wasn't about her today. today she needed to make him lose it.
he grins at you and he looks down seeing a small wet spot showing through on the sweatpants.
“i mean, you're doin' this to me, don't say that like it was my fault.."
"you can always hold back, y'know"
"oh, it's- fuck..." he cuts himself off when he sees you pulling down his sweatpants finally. "shiit, dont act all smartass again, y'know i cant when you do that to me-" he gulps, finishing his sentence but his whole focus is now directed on you.
your lip is between your teeth as you pull down his boxers, revealing his hard, aching, leaking with precum cock. you couldn't believe that you were the cause of his struggle, and that you could make him that desperate. you wrap your hand around him, rubbing his sensitive tip with your thumb and watching his reaction. he bites his lip, watching you, his tip twitching visibly and he moans again from your touch, he’s getting so much precum leaking out. he's fighting with himself, trying not to buck his hips up and start thrusting into your hand.
“ohhhh fucckkk.... shit please- just a little more... mmm, oh god.... ima cum if you keep doin' this-"
"what did you say?"
"fuck, p-please.."
"couldn't you said that sooner? you wouldn't be struggling so much..." she smiles hearing him begging and then starts slowly moving her hand up and down his length. she's still straddling him, his one hand digging into her thigh, and the other one on the couch to try and brace himself from how good it feels.
"s'good... fuck, so, so good..." he leans his head back, his eyes rolling back for a second as he gulps, but then he looks at you again, loving the sight in front of him, and also you just bring him closer to the edge.
"yeah? wanna cum already? how naughty.."
"oh- my god... mmmhh, please, mama- i'm so-"
your words just sets him off even more, his dick twitching in your hand as you now picks up your pace, making him groan. the way you're so dominant right now turns him on so much, he would never think he'd be liking it so much, but damn, he does.
"i... ughhh, you so good at this- fuck..." his fingers dig into your skin more, leaving new marks on your thighs, he's on the edge now.
"c'mon pretty boy, come for me, yeah?" you speed up your hand more, watching him intensely. your words stealing a louder moan from him, his dick twitches, he bucks up his hips and he releases all over himself. white strings of his cum on his black hoodie, all over your hand, his thighs and even on your couch. you have to bite on your lip to hold back a moan, while he squeezes his eyes for a moment, cursing under his breath. you slow down with your hand, stopping after a moment as he opens his eyes, looking up at you.
you smirk, making eye contact with him and slowly licking his cum from your hand. he groans in response, breathing heavily.
"damn, i might get hard again."
"freak."
"but you into it." he grins and pulls you into another sloppy kiss.
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a/n: do we fw this or nah, lmk 🫦
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