#and i'd like to say that one of the funniest things i found was an article lamenting the lack of 'masculine pro-life men' on a catholic sit

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

"We like Steve, but we don't love Steve," Murray laughed.

As if it was the funniest thing in the world to him. . .him sitting there, thinking he's right. Murray's arrogance infuriated Nancy to no end. He doesn't know anything about Steve or how she feels about Steve, how she feels about Jonathan, or about how Jonathan feels about her.

"No! We do!" Nancy exclaimed without thinking, glancing at Jonathan.

"Pardon?!" Murray asked, his eyebrows rising, and then he laughed. "I think I'm missing something here."

"You said we do, Nancy," Jonathan said when she looked at him in confusion.

"No, I didn't," Nancy said, quickly shaking her head.

"Yes, you did," Jonathan exclaimed.

"No, I didn't!"

"Yes, you did!"

"I think I know what I said, Jonathan!"

"You think you know what you said?!"

"You know what, I don't think it's any of my business," Murray said and got up, cackling. "Goodnight and good luck, kiddos."

Nancy and Jonathan stared at each other for a moment before moving off to bed themselves. Nancy had laid quietly there for a moment in a bed that was not her own. She was still feeling the effects of the alcohol and what Murray was buzzing around in her head with it. She was sure of her feelings for Steve as sure as she was of her feelings for Jonathan. The man was a cracked pot who liked to talk about things that he didn't know anything about. Nancy was sure she loved both of them, but she couldn't be selfish. . .she couldn't have both of them, could she? She had to talk to Jonathan. Nancy threw the blankets off of her and opened the door. She jumped when Jonathan suddenly approached at the same time. He looked nervous.

"I, uh - we do love Steve," Jonathan said.

Nancy's shoulder fell in relief, and she wrapped her arms around him tightly, squeezing.

"I don't want to do anything until he - ,"

"Yeah, me neither. Can we just hold each other?" Jonathan asked.

"Yeah."

When they got to Hawkins, shit had already hit the fan, and they didn't get an opportunity to talk to Steve until a week later. They hadn't even found out that Steve had gotten his ass kicked by Hargrove until Mike had said something about it. Hargrove had been long gone by the time they had gotten back from the hospital with Will, and Steve had left a note saying he dropped the kids off at home but not before they straightened up. Although they left Hopper to deal with the demodogs. Steve became a babysitter overnight, and an older brother to Dustin had done something for the both of them. Dustin hadn't been able to shut up about Steve, much to Mike's annoyance.

"What is Mike's problem with Steve?" Jonathan asked as they drove to Steve’s house.

"Oh, well," Nancy giggled. "Mike still hasn't forgiven himself for barging into my room and finding Steve with his face between my legs."

"How did Steve explain that one?" Jonathan asked.

"He lost a contact," Nancy laughed, and Jonathan laughed loudly with her until he shifted in his seat. "What?"

"Nothing. I mean, I'm trying not to think about it," he said.

"He excels at it, by the way," Nancy smirked.

"What?" Jonathan asked, blushing.

"Using his mouth," she replied. "I'd definitely give him a very high grade."

Jonathan sighed and then groaned. Nancy couldn't help but laugh again.

"Wait. . .does Steve have glasses?" Jonathan asked.

"Yeah, he's very self-conscious about it, and you can thank his dad for that," Nancy rolled her eyes.

"Right," Jonathan said, his fingers tapping rapidly on the steering wheel.

When Steve opened the door, he was in a loose pair of sweatpants with no shirt. A bruise bloomed on his stomach, and his face was even worse. Nancy winced, and Jonathan hissed.

"Are you okay?" Nancy asked.

"Yeah, it's not like I haven't gotten my ass kicked before," Steve said.

"Sorry," Jonathan said.

"Don't be, I deserved it," Steve replied. "You guys wanna come in?"

"Yeah, there's something that we need to talk to you about," Nancy said.

"Okay," Steve said and let them in. "Can I get you guys anything?"

You, Nancy had thought. She swallowed her tongue, though, and politely declined his offer. They followed him into the living room, and he sat down on the couch, still shirtless. She tried not to stare at his bruises, but it was difficult not to. Fury of what Billy had done had risen in her chest. Nancy and Jonathan sat on either side of him.

"First of all, I want to apologize for what I said. None of it was true. None of it," Nancy said softly. "You're not bullshit and if anyone was, it was me. I was trying to pretend that everything was okay, and I was trying to be okay with Barb. . .but I needed to do something, and I understood how scared you were. I get that. It wasn't your fault what happened to Barb."

"If it wasn't my fault, then it wasn't your fault either. . .I think we both could have handled that differently," Steve sighed.

"I love you, Steve," Nancy said. "I knew that. That wasn't the bullshit part. Despite what other people say, I love you. No one else can tell me how I feel about you because I'm the only one who knows."

"Other people?" Steve asked.

"Murray. . .he's a former journalist and conspiracy theorist. We went to him to help with Barb. He made assumptions because I was there with Jonathan and not with you," Nancy sighed. "He was wrong about my feelings for you, but he wasn't wrong about me and Jonathan."

"So, you and Jonathan. . .," Steve trailed off.

"There can't be a me and Jonathan without a me and you," Nancy said.

"What?" Steve asked, confused.

"We love you," Jonathan said softly. "And I'd understand that if you - ,"

"I love you, too," Steve said quickly. "I just didn't think that you would, too. I only thought about this a thousand times."

"Me, too," Jonathan said.

Nancy watched as Jonathan's hand slid onto Steve’s thigh, and Steve’s hand moved to clasp his. Steve smiled, rubbing Jonathan's hand with his thumb, and Jonathan blushed as he did it so softly. He enjoyed the way that Steve played with his hand. Nancy leaned against Steve and placed her hand on his other thigh. She pressed her lips to his shoulder.

"We love you," Nancy whispered, her breath tickling his skin.

"You know, I think I'm a little tired. Maybe we should, uh, take a nap," Jonathan said.

"Yeah, I could use a nap, too," Nancy said.

"What?! You're just going to tell me you love me, and then you're going to leave just like that?! I mean, I'm not expecting sex but can we at least cuddle or kiss first?!" Steve asked, incredulous.

"Steve," Nancy giggled. "We don't want to sleep."

"Oh!"

"Yeah. . ."

The next morning. . .

Nancy smiled as she sipped her coffee. She set the other mug on the end table. She knew Jonathan liked his coffee differently than she did, but one of the things that Nancy had in common with Steve was how they liked their coffee. They usually just shared a mug. Steve and Jonathan were still asleep curled up in each other's arms. Steve’s face was tucked into Jonathan's neck, his body on top of his. Jonathan's arms were wrapped around him, his cheek pressed to the top of Steve’s head. At some point, the sheet had fallen off of them, so Steve’s bare ass was on full display. Yeah, she wanted to wake up like this every morning. Suddenly, Steve stirred, sniffing the air. It woke Jonathan up when Steve moved his head. He smiled softly at Jonathan, and Jonathan smiled back, their eyes blinking slowly.

"Good morning," Steve croaked, his voice full of sleep.

"Morning," Jonathan said softly.

Steve leaned up and kissed him. Jonathan sighed into the kiss before groaning. Nancy took another sip of her coffee as she watched them kiss lazily. It became a little more heated as Steve rocked his hips against his, and Jonathan let out a moan as he met Steve’s thrusts. Nancy felt the arousal in her between her legs as her boyfriends grinded against each other's naked bodies. Finally, they came down, and Steve collapsed against Jonathan, burying his face in his neck. Nancy grabbed Steve’s shirt off the floor and tossed it to him. Steve rolled over and began wiping each other down. Nancy appreciated the bite marks that she had left on both of them.

"I made coffee," Nancy said and handed Steve her mug. "Yours is on the table, Jonathan."

Steve moved to the edge of the bed and sipped the coffee, a smile on his face. Jonathan moved beside him and took his cup off the table. Neither one of them covered up. There was plenty of space on the bed, but Jonathan chose to keep his naked body right against Steve’s.

"I see you found your favorite shirt," Steve said, and he fingered the pink polo she was wearing. "I always thought it looked better on you."

Nancy slid into his lap and took the mug from him. Jonathan watched as she took a sip from it.

"Don't worry, coffee is the only thing that I made," Nancy said.

"Oh, thank god," Steve said with an overly dramatic sigh of relief, and she giggled, smacking his chest. "I'll make us something to eat."

"You're going to want to see this, Jonathan. It's absolutely sinful the way he cooks," Nancy said and kissed Steve.

Steve had pulled on an older school shirt and boxers. It was worn and faded, the bottom of it was torn away, so it was more like a crop top. He handed some clothes to Jonathan before kissing both of them before wandering down to the kitchen.

"I have clothes," Jonathan said.

"I think he just wants to see you in his clothes," Nancy said in amusement.

"It's yellow," Jonathan muttered. "My favorite color."

"He knows that," she grinned.

Nancy and Jonathan went downstairs to find that Steve had popped a tape into the kitchen stereo. She knew immediately what it was going to be. Bob Seger came out of the speakers, and her grin widened as Steve began getting everything together, his hips moving to the music. Nancy sat down at the kitchen table and pulled Jonathan into her lap. He made a surprised noise before following it with a sigh of contentment. Jonathan leaned back against her, and together as they watched Steve dance around the kitchen as he cooked. They watched his hips, the way that the boxers hugged them, and stared at the skin at was being shown because of the torn shirt. They giggled as Steve briefly used the spatula as a microphone, and he winked at them. Jonathan held up his hands like he was taking a picture and made a clicking sound like he was actually taking one.

"What are you doing?" Steve asked with a laugh.

"I'm taking a mental image of this, and I'm keeping this forever because you look ridiculous," Jonathan said.

"Ridiculously cute, you mean," Steve said.

"Whatever you want to tell yourself," Jonathan laughed.

Steve moved away from the stove and kissed Jonathan deeply. Nancy could feel him giggle, the sound muffled by Steve’s lips. Nancy pushed him away playfully.

"You're going to burn the eggs!" Nancy laughed. "I thought that's why you didn't want me to cook!"

Steve grinned and moved back to the stove. When breakfast was done, they each had a second cup of coffee, and Jonathan got his own chair. They ate in silence, enjoying the music of Bob Seger and each other's company. After breakfast, Nancy and Jonathan cleaned up before sitting back down to finish their second cup of coffee. It wasn't just the coffee that made her skin buzz with happiness, but it certainly helped. She gazed fondly at her two men as they exchanged soft looks with each other. Jonathan was staring at Steve's open lap.

"If you want to come over here, you can," Steve said, patting his thigh.

Jonathan hesitated for a moment before sliding into Steve’s lap. Steve set his cup down and wrapped his arms around Jonathan's waist as he settled against him. Jonathan's arm went around Steve’s neck, his fingers brushing lightly against his hair, while his other hand moved gently across Steve’s bicep. Steve’s hands disappeared under the back of Jonathan's shirt, gently running his fingernails across Jonathan's skin. Jonathan gasped slightly and sighed. Steve moved one of his hands down his back and to his thigh, squeezing it. Jonathan brushed his lips against his cheek, moving them across his skin until he reached his lips. Their kiss was lazy but sweet, and Jonathan moaned loudly when Steve’s hand disappeared under the front of his shirt. Nancy could tell by the noise that Jonathan made that Steve’s thumb was brushing against his nipple. Watching them together made Nancy warm inside, doing a better job than a cup of coffee ever could. Jonathan broke the kiss, breathing heavily. He turned to look at Nancy, and she loved how pink his cheeks were. She loved them so fucking much.

"Now you know just how addictive his touch is," Nancy said. "And just how addictive it is to touch him."

"I love you," Jonathan said to both of them.

Just as Nancy was about to open her mouth to respond, the phone rang. She rolled her eyes in annoyance. Steve went to get up, but Nancy pushed Jonathan carefully back into his lap before kissing them both. She walked across the kitchen and picked up the phone.

"Hello, Harrington residence, Nancy speaking," she said and rolled her eyes when her boyfriends snickered.

"Nancy?" Dustin confused voice came through. "What are you doing at Steve's? I thought you two broke up."

"We got back together," Nancy replied. "Why are you calling here so early, Dustin?"

"Early? It's 11 am. It's almost noon," Dustin

"Oh," Nancy said. "I didn't realize how late it was."

"Well, we spent the night over at your house and now Will wants to go to the arcade but he said that Jonathan was spending the night over at a friend's. He didn't want to bother him," Dustin said. "So, I thought of Steve. . .it's weird though, I thought Jonathan didn't have any friends besides you."

"He has friends. Steve is his friend," Nancy said defensively.

"Yeah, okay. Listen, can Steve give us a ride?" Dustin asked. "You know, if he's not busy being naked."

"He's not naked!" Nancy exclaimed. "I mean, he was earlier if you really want the details."

"NO! No, thank you! I just want to know if Steve can give us a ride!" Dustin exclaimed.

"Dustin wants to know if you want to give them a ride to the Arcade, Will wants to go," Nancy told Steve.

Jonathan slid out of Steve's lap. Steve let out a whimper, making grabby hands at Jonathan. Nancy smiles and handed their boyfriend the phone.

"Dustin? - it doesn't matter why I'm here. Why can't one of Nancy's parents take you? - Okay, okay, Jesus, yeah, we'll be there," Jonathan sighed and hung up the phone. "Dustin needs a ride."

"You're going to have to tell me how to manage being a big brother," Steve sighed.

"I know how to be a big brother to Will. I do not know how to be a big brother to Dustin Henderson," Jonathan laughed. "You have my sympathies, but you're on your own."

"Some boyfriend you are," Steve scoffed.

After taking a rather long shower together, Nancy stood on the front lawn watching as Steve and Jonathan bantered with each other about who Nancy rode with. They weren't really serious, she could see the mirth in their eyes as they "argued". She rolled her eyes and slid in the passenger's seat of Steve’s car. She popped her head out the window.

"As arousing as it is to watch you two fight over me," Nancy smirked. "We wouldn't want to keep Dustin waiting."

"Heaven forbid," Steve rolled his eyes but he was smiling.

Nancy smiled. Dustin had surprisingly adopted Steve so quickly, digging his claws into the jock whom he deemed awesome. She had heard the story of Steve standing his ground with demodogs, of putting his life on the line to protect the kids. A part of her wished that she could have seen that and she knew that Jonathan did, too. A paladin, Dustin had said and Lucas had quickly agreed. She knew that if Steve didn't want to be around the kids, he wouldn't. It wasn't just about her or Jonathan. . .the fact that the kids looked at him. . .in awe of him for performing skills that weren't just used for basketball. He had done something worthwhile and he had kept those kids safe. Nancy watched in amusement as Steve threw his keys in the air and stumbled to catch them.

"I can see why you didn't win the Championship for Hawkins," Jonathan teased.

"Rude. . .yet, haven't won the championship for Hawkins yet," Steve said, pushing up his glasses. "Shit, I forgot to put my contacts in. . .distractions, both of you. I need to switch. . ."

"Keep it," Nancy and Jonathan said.

Steve laughed and kissed Jonathan before sliding into the driver's seat.

"Good to know that you like them," Steve said.

"What are those?"

They had pulled up to the Arcade and Dustin was out of the car first. Nancy and Steve had gotten out after him, just as Jonathan was getting out of his. Will got out of the car with Mike while Max and Lucas got out of Steve's backseat. Dustin was just now looking directly at Steve, pointing at his glasses.

"Well, I think they might be glasses," Steve said, taking them off and looking at them before slipping back onto his face. "Yes, they're definitely glasses."

"Don't be an asshole, Steve," Dustin said.

"Well, don't ask stupid questions you already know the answer to," Steve said.

"I meant, why do you have them?" Dustin asked with a sigh.

"To see," Steve said.

"Ugh, Steve, did you get them because of Billy?" Dustin asked.

"No, I've had these for a while," Steve said, rolling his eyes. "Some people like my glasses."

"Is it Nancy and Jonathan? Why were both of them at your house?" Dustin asked.

"We were settling our differences," Steve said.

"Yeah, okay, but why was Jonathan there when you were getting back together with Nancy?" Dustin asked.

"Don't ask questions you shouldn't know the answer to yet," Steve said, staring him down.

Dustin stared back. They were both locked in, their jaws clenched. Nancy and Jonathan watched with interest, trying not to laugh.

"I don't know why you're being so secretive," Dustin said.

"I don't know why you're being so nosy especially since I brought change for you to play your little games," Steve said.

Dustin looked at him suspiciously and Steve rolled his eyes, sighing.

"Are you bribing me into silence, Steve?" Dustin asked.

"Do you want the money or not?" Steve asked.

"Yes," Dustin said and then paused. "Thank you, Steve."

Steve gave some to Dustin and looked at Lucas, who puffed out his chest.

"I worked for mine but thank you, Steve," Lucas said.

He hugged him and wandered off into the Arcade with Max. Dustin glared at his back, and muttered something about Lucas being a show-off before hugging Steve, too. Steve put his hands on his hips, shook his head, and looked at the clouds with a smile on his face. Nancy and Jonathan shared a look before laughing. Steve glared mockingly at them.

"Are you laughing at me, Wheeler?" Steve asked.

"You're done for. . .but you seemed to be handling being Dustin's brother a lot better than I would," Jonathan said with a snort and Steve smiled softly.

"Come on, we can go inside and play one of those games or we go next door to Family Video to pick out a movie for tonight?" Nancy asked.

"Movie," Jonathan and Steve said.

Nancy walked to Family Video with her boyfriends trailing beside her, her fingers brushing against theirs every so often. Steve tapped the sign on the window.

"Oh, they're hiring," Steve said.

"Thinking about applying?" Jonathan asked.

"I don't know. . .Lucas gave me something to think about. He seemed so proud that he earned his own money," Steve said. "It would be nice to earn money of my own."

"If you do work here, we'll have bragging rights. We can tell people we know someone in the movie business," Nancy said.

"Yeah, that's why I'd apply here, bragging rights for you and Jonathan," Steve scoffed.

"You give me discounts on horror movies," Jonathan said, teasing him. "Or for free."

"Hm, and what's in it for me?" Steve asked.

"Anything you want me to do," Jonathan said, lowering his voice. "Or anything you want to do to me."

Nancy giggled and pushed them into the store. They walked in silence as they glanced at the shelves. It wasn't long before Nancy felt eyes on the back of her neck.

"If Keith keeps looking at me, I'm going to shoot him in the dick," Nancy said, grinding her teeth.

"Yeah, no, you can't do that," Steve said.

"Yeah, you're right, I'd get blood everywhere and on my dress," Nancy said, thoughtfully.

"No, I don't think that's what Steve was talking about," Jonathan laughed.

"I am being ridiculous," Nancy said seriously and shook her head. "I know how to get blood stains out of clothes."

"Nance," Steve said and she grinned slyly at him. "Oh, you're fucking with us. She's fucking with us. She does this!"

"I know!" Jonathan laughed. "I don't know how we keep falling for it."

"Like you two wouldn't break me out of jail," Nancy said, smiling fondly.

"Oh, yeah, no, we would, without a doubt," Steve said.

"Of course, there's Will and the others to think about. Plus, you're risking leaving Holly behind with Mike as the oldest sibling to look up to," Jonathan pointed.

"Shit, well, I guess we found the only flaw in the plan," Nancy said.

"Yeah, the only flaw," Steve said, rolling his eyes.

Nancy grinned. She loved her brother but Holly deserved to have an older sister to look up to as well as an older brother. Plus, Mike could be a little shithead at times. The amount of times he just barged into her room without permission or without knocking. . .Nancy got distracted out of her thoughts by Steve.

"Where are you going?" Nancy asked.

"I'm going to talk to Keith about that job, give him something else to focus on," Steve said. "You two pick out a movie. . .if it's any Horror, I'm warning you now that I'm going to end up curled up in your laps."

"Horror it is," Jonathan said.

Steve laughed and walked to the counter. Nancy turned to Jonathan.

"Which film?" she asked.

"I was thinking Halloween," Jonathan smirked.

"Doesn't he kill babysitters in that one?" Nancy asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh, yeah, that'll scare him."

As they were perusing the shelves, Steve rejoined them with a scowl on his face.

"He told me that the job's mine," Steve said.

"What's the problem?" Jonathan asked.

"It's only mine if I break up with Nancy," Steve scoffed. "I'll only work here if it's my only option and I'm out of money."

A fury arose in Nancy and nothing was going to stop her from speaking her mind. She stormed over to the counter and slammed her hands down on it. Keith had been reading a magazine when she did that and to her momentary joy, he had jumped.

"Asshole!" Nancy yelled. "I'm a person, I'm not something you use to bribe people with! If you ever do that again, I'll use a knife to slowly make sure that each one of those pimples scars. . .hideously! If Steve ever comes in here again, you'll make sure that you treat him as fairly as you treat everyone you interview! Now, we want to rent Halloween, are you capable of making that happen or do I have to take it up with your boss about what you just did?"

"I, uh, yeah, I can do that," Keith swallowed nervously as Jonathan put the tape on the counter.

"Just for the record, I only date people who won't waste my time," Nancy said. "Which means I would never date you even if you were the last man on earth."

Keith scowled but did his job obediently. On the way out the door, Nancy flipped him off. She slipped the tape into her purse and dragged her boyfriends into the Arcade. She was so tired of people thinking they had any right to use her like she was an object or arrogantly thinking they knew her at all. Keith and Murray had bitten off a bit more than they could have chewed with Nancy. They overstepped but she wasn't going to let that happen again. No one would try to wedge their way between her and her partners.

"I need to kill things," Nancy said as she chose a machine.

With Steve and Jonathan peering over her shoulder, Nancy gleefully went to work.

"That little guy's Keith," Steve pointed out.

"Oh, yeah, definitely. . ."

"We like Steve but we don't love Steve," Nancy said mockingly. "Excuse me, asshole, we love Steve!"

"And there's Murray!"

[holycritchance]

Aside from Chance what do you think of other Dateables like Jerry, Penelope or Mac

anon, you sent me on an adventure and i spent the whole day playing the demo to make sure i meet as many dateables as i could only so i could present a list of my top ten! buckle up folks, this is a long one!

now presenting: holycritchance's top 10 dateables from date everything! (in no particular order)

no. 1: chance, the d20 (location: on the desk in the office)

okay, okay, i know this one was obvious but c'mon. look at him!!!! he's so baby boy and i love his enthusiasm & dedication to creating a fun experience for you and your game companion( jerry & dasha specifically, but lux's run can be fun for the most part ). the way he giggles and banters with you when you flirt with him?? ASKING TO MOVE TO THE ACTUAL SHEETS AFTER TELLING YOU THAT YOURE PERFECT TO HIM??? SIR. i'm beelining for this man the minute i have access to the full game in 9 days

no.2: dasha, the desk (found: in the office)

i just adore how confident she is & how she wants to help the human be able to confidently talk to others - even if she doesn't think that other would be her. i can proudly say i asked her to crush my head between her thighs without hesitation.

no. 3: betty, the bed (location: bedroom)

CMONNNN you thought this was gonna be a valid list without this lovely bed of ours? the frame corset??? the fitted sheet outerwear??? HER VOICE???? oh my GODS her design is PEAK and i'd bedrot for life w her as my bed.

no.4: freddy, the fridge (location: the kitchen)

there's something about the rasp in his voice that has me in a damn chokehold - the things i would do to have this yeti flirt with me are innumerable like stop telling me how to reheat food and tell me how you're taking me to bed. i saw someone caption a tiktok about him with "lemme climb you" and yknow what that's so REALLL

no.5: jerry, the junk drawer (location: drawer in the desk, office)

JERRY MY SWEET,,, he can do absolutely no wrong in my eyes. i personally think he's got some of the funniest lines in the demo, especially if you have him take you on a tour of the drawer (the mold-induced cough had me reeling). no but fr having this man fall for you day one made me wanna keep him safe in my pocket & fight whoever said he'd be attracting rats w his collection.

no.6: florence, the floor (location: any floor)

LOOK AT THIS SWEETHEART AND TELL ME YOU DONT LOVE HER IMMEDIATELY. if florence has no fans i'm dead, plain and simple. she's just the DAMN SWEETEST and i'm so glad celia is looking out for her bc i hate how hard this lovely lady is on herself. and her voice??? UGH LEMME LOVE YOU LIKE YOU DESERVE MAAM

no. 7: mateo, the blanket (location: draped on a chair, living room)

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THIS SOFT SWEETIE RESUCES ANIMALS??? sold. sat. smitten. oh my god he looks like he gives the best hugs/cuddles and i could listen to him talk all day. i love the concept of the inanimals and you can really tell how much they mean to him even with the first two interactions.

no. 8: dolly, the dust bunny (location: under the couch [interact w the couch without the glasses on first and she appears])

DOLLY ONE CHANCE PLEAAAAASE. beauty AND brains with a southern accent? when i tell y'all i folded like a damn lawn chair. i'm a damn SUCKER for a powerful woman and she IS that. THE MAGAZINE??? OH MY GODSSSS i need more of her NOW

no. 9: miranda, the toaster (location: kitchen counter)

OOOOO ANOTHER BADDIE bro as soon as she had that, like, two second cameo telling off scandalabra i was sold. made a beeline for her right after talking to him. i'd pay for pit tickets to her concerts no matter the price. i absolutely adore her design, i think it's one of the best in the game honestly.

no. 10: scandalabra

he's legit one of the funniest characters i came across thus far, i'm obsessed with this diva. now while i wouldn't romance him, i wanna be best friends just to spill human and object tea w him. his voice is PERFECT for his design, 10/10 no notes

honorable mentions: stella, the stairs; washford, the washer(i desperately need him and drysdale to have their happy ending); phonecia, the phone - there are so many good characters in this game and i'm stoked to learn about the rest when the full game is released!

[mermaidsirennikita]

finishing up The First Omen (good, enjoyed it) and have to pause and say that there's a real quick shot of a 50-year-old Gregory Peck's polaroid towards the end and like.... the amount of sex appeal 1 second of Gregory Peck (who has been dead for over 20 years RIP) added to this film... is an indictment on the expectations we have of actors at the moment.....

[cherrygirlfriend]

─── PROFESSOR REID ♡

♡ pairing: husband!spencer x lovely wife!reader

♡ summary: what your life was like after your husband was reassigned to professor duties (based on s13 e16)

♡ warnings / tags: fluff, smut, MDNI!!!

♡ author's notes: didn’t mean to make this smutty but i got carried away i’m sorry!

SPENCER REID MASTERLIST ♡

maybe it was selfish, but even though it was taking a toll on spencer to not be united with his team, you loved the fact that your husband was reassigned to professor duties. your husband came home to you every night and you could all have dinner as a family, your daughter could get a kiss goodnight from him every night before sleeping instead of having to say goodnight via phone while he was in whichever city solving whichever case, and best of all… he spent every night sleeping right next to you. for once, you could sleep comfortably knowing he wasn't putting his life in danger.

not having to use your imagination whenever you got in the mood also helped. now you could actually feel his lips on your neck, his head between your legs as he gripped your thighs, moaning as if eating you out was more enjoyable for him than it was for you, every thrust basically whispering to you that spencer couldn't live without you...

in your case, distance did not make the heart grow fonder, because the more time he spent at home, the more you missed him when he wasn't at home. the more you craved to have his arms around you. but the funniest part about it all? the fact that spencer really had no idea how the world outside the BAU sometimes worked.

"i found out something funny today." spencer said once the two of you were in bed. you looked up from your book, putting it face down on your bed, and turned to face him, "what's up? what is it, baby?" "a majority of my class are just people auditing."

you let out a quiet snort, making your husband turn to you with a confused look on his face, his brows knitting together, "what?" "let me ask you this," you tried to suppress the grin on your face, "what kind of people were the students that were just auditing the lesson?"

spencer thought for a moment, scratching the back of his head with his lips pursed. then, his eyes narrowed and he looked to you, "well, most of them were women."

"can you think of a reason why a bunch of young women would want to audit a handsome professor's class? especially when said professor has the lamest educational jokes."

"what do you mean?"

your husband's cluelessness made you burst into laughter. you shook your head, rolling your eyes playfully, before finally looking to him with a small smile, "they think you're hot."

"what?"

"the reason people are auditing your classes? yeah, they think you're hot." "i wouldn't really... consider myself... that attractive." spencer said warily, making you deadpan. "spencer, are you kidding me?" you snorted, "if i was your student i'd be sending you anonymous love letters. but you'd probably be able to tell they were from me in an instant."

"i probably would." spencer shrugged.

"if you were my professor..." you purred, moving to straddle spencer's lap, "i'd secretly send some... scandalous pictures of myself." "oh?" "oh, yes, professor reid." you leaned close to his ear, feeling as spencer's hands started to trail up your thighs, "i'd send you something very naughty and inappropriate."

spencer let out a soft laugh, before flipping you over on the bed, a squeal leaving your lips as his erection ground into you, causing you to let out a whine, "you want me to give you a lesson, mrs. reid?"

his words made you giggle, but as you were busy doing that, spencer had already started to peel off your panties. one thing you noticed; after he'd gotten out of prison and spencer started spending more time at home, his sex drive had rocketed. and so had yours, not even realizing how wet the silly flirtation between you two had made you.

spencer brought his middle finger to your entrance, causing you to gasp as he dragged it up to your clit, before pulling it back and inspecting the arousal-coated digit.

"scandalous indeed..." spencer said thoughtfully, making you giggle. you watched as he started pulling down his boxer briefs, his cock standing at attention the moment it was freed, a hiss of pleasure leaving his lips.

spencer dragged his cock up your slit to press it against your clit before bringing it back down to your entrance. and just like every time, a sigh of relief left his lips when he buried even the head of his cock into you.

every inch of him felt more and more heavenly until you finally felt the tip of his cock kiss your cervix. then he pulled back, only to thrust himself back into you.

spencer picked up the perfect pace, your husband having memorized your body from every reaction you'd given to any movement his body had made against yours, spencer long hand trailing down to your clit just at the moment you needed it to without you even having to say it.

"spencer..." you whined softly, like his name was the only thing you could remember, like you worshipped him. in these moments, spencer always knew he had the upper hand; he knew just the moves that drew you absolutely crazy.

only for you to clench yourself around his cock, feeling every ridge and vein of his cock around your slick walls, a whine leaving spencer's lips, making you feel victorious.

and as each of you slowly got closer and closer to the edge, each of you tried to one-up the other, just to prove that you knew the other better, to prove you knew their body better.

"come for me..." spencer mumbled as he picked up his pace, making you groan as you were trying to hold back your orgasm, "no... come for me..." you mumbled, squeezing your walls together, making spencer still inside of you.

and once again, you won, feeling spencer let out warm spurts of come into you as he let out a groan of your name, only to feel the knot in your stomach come undone seconds after him, your brain releasing oxytocin and dopamine that made every part of your body feel blissed out.

"i win..." you mumbled breathlessly.

"this time." your husband challenged.

TAGLIST: @purpleplumpudding, @cinnamoncunt, @nonietosay

[cook-a-little-chicken]

Sorry About My Nan

That was an intense longform. And I have some thoughts:

Firstly, umm... can they not carry chairs normally? Both of them dragging it slowly like that made me laugh. Anyway-

The entire thing was amazing but especially those first few scenes. Such good acting from the get-go! Was this the longest it took for them to establish a storyline in a longform? It felt very "this is the last time I'm doing this" 😂

Luke breaking Sam and AJ with his truly realistic characterisation and "I just feel shattered, you know?" was brilliant

By my count, this is the third time AJ tells Sam to be quiet: "sorry when I fish, I like silence", "silence when hoop", "I just need like- just a bit of- quiet"

"You've got so many teeth." What is it with Tom and teeth? ("hey, I've got everything you've got, but I've also got several more teeth")

Aww Tom trying so hard not to laugh at Luke's "Have you given her adrenaline?"

Sam and AJ simultaneously pointing and saying "that/this way" to the bathroom somehow makes me laugh. Cos they're stressed out and there's this farmhand joyfully looking for his sheep. And Luke making himself laugh at his own sheep vs farmhand interaction is cute

Aahh Tom's facial expressions throughout were incredible!

"Not one seat each." I see Tom's enjoying inconveniencing the others

Not the subtitles calling Sam out on the "numchucks" 😂

Luke was lying face first on the floor for almost 6 minutes. I was initially wondering how Luke didn't break as a corpse, but you can see his body moving as he silently (and sometimes audibly) laughs. It's really cute and he laughs a lot throughout it's kinda funny

Tom was so good as the German stage person (Emcee?) with the incredible physical performance and expressions! Him and Krampus were so similar but so different, I'm in awe

The almost perfect symmetry of Sam and AJ laughing at Tom's "meine little liebchen" 😂

Sam shouting "numchucks numchucks numchucks" as he hits AJ with them is the funniest thing ever. Worse, I'd say, than the "bang bang bang" he called Luke out on in All Eyes on Nigel

AJ's delivery of "I recently found out that my nana is like a cult leader for people in Germany. And that, umm, is so weird" is absolutely stellar. And Luke's movements and smiles as Julie/Lucy were so subtly eerie from the beginning it was wonderful

They managed to stop the "stag"s perfectly, what great intuition!

Tom's "eh!" and shirt throw 😂 I was surprised he had a shirt on at the end

I can't explain it, and it was probably unintentional, but the wedding scene felt like it was still part of the fake scenario tests. Like stepping out almost from behind a curtain to "out there" together, hand-in-hand, and then immediately reaching the altar instead of the bride having the traditional long walk? Then Sam's speech about the mic amplifying which almost sounds like something you'd imagine in a dream or in your head, followed immediately by "I do" when they weren't even asked the question?

They're going to Bergheim straight after, meaning Ethel's successfully indoctrinated them both into her cult. And AJ's best friend isn't there. Was that cos Sam kept questioning Ethel and her methods? Was he banished from the cult? What's happened to him? If it was a normal wedding, you'd expect him to be there. Especially cos they keep reiterating that they're "best friend"s

I'm sure it's supposed to be a happy story but it feels more horror/psychological thriller to me, where the characters think they've reached their happy ending but in reality they're trapped now

[gunlicker13]

on signalis characters' voices (signalis spoilers!)

after playing signalis more than once and putting aside the overwhelming amount of feelings this game and its story can and will make one feel, it is easier to notice the more subtle details; e.g. enemies behavior, meaning behind documents and objects, and in this case, the characters' voices.

paying attention to the various living npcs you can talk to, one detail that stands out is that every character has a different tone of voice (similar to undertale).

i like to believe those sounds which accompany the text could represent what each character could sound like; one would expect, since replikas are basically copies, for them to have all the same voice.

well, that's not exactly the case.

here is a video with text and dialogues from all the npcs, without music to hear the "dialogue" clearly. (not all the dialogue is included, only one dialogue per character is present; except for elster as she does not like to speak much).

ACHTUNG: MAJOR SIGNALIS SPOILERS!

the dialogues are in chronological order:

-wounded star unit (STAR-S23?? is her name in the game files) in the aula before classroom 4C in floor B1, S-23 Sierpinski (elster included even if she has two lines);

-Isa Itou in the library, floor B1, S-23 Sierpinski;

-Storch Sieben (STCR-S2307) in the rationing office, floor B2, S-23 Sierpinski;

-EULR-S2312 (probably named Dezember given her number designation; eules in game like to use months as names, using the last two numbers of their designation as a reference) in the nurse station, floor B3, S-23 Sierpinski;

-Adler (ADLR-S2301), presumably in the elevator lobby in floor B4, S-23 Sierpinski;

-Arar (ARAR-S2318) in the vent below the Storch dorm in floor B8, S-23 Sierpinski;

-KLBR-S2302 in the library, floor B8, S-23 Sierpinski;

-Beo (MNHR-S2301) in the third room in the mines where monofilament stockpiles can be found, in the rightmost corridor.

-Ariane Yeong (and LSTR-512, still has an unbelievable amount of max two sentences at once) in the personnel room. floor B2, Penrose-512 (memory);

-Falke (FKLR-S2301) in her own room, found in Home.

you may ask, what purpose does comparing the "voices" serve? probably none, still i wished to know if they were the same sounds for every character or not.

here's what i could find out:

the majority of replikas have a different voice, with some exceptions:

-STCR and LSTR units have the same voice;

-as do STAR and FKLR units;

-a bit more expected, the gestalts npcs we see in the game (Isa Itou and Ariane Yeong) have the same voice.

now, for the fun stuff: by analyzing the frequencies which stood out the most in each "beep" from every character's voice, i could rank them from high pitched to low pitched ones.

again, has no purpose, but the result is actually delightful (to me).

here is the ranking:

1. kolibri

2. mynah

3. eule

4. isa-ariane

5. storch-elster

6. star-falke

7. adler

8. arar

pretty surprising, huh? i'd have wagered for isa/ariane to be in second place, followed by eules; also was expecting for arars to be just after the eules, and have behind them stars, then storches, then adler.

no one is surprised kolibri have the highest voices lmao, but mynah having an almost equally high voice was slightly unexpected but not unwelcome.

what's truly surprising to me is falke having the same voice as stars. i'd have expected something different tbh (stars being the lowest rank of protektors, etc etc, they're silly and stupid and crass; all things falke is not supposed to be).

elster having a deeper voice compared to ariane is the cutest thing ever! (as that post about them says)

that's probably the instance where you can notice the most that there is in fact a difference in most voices.

the funniest thing ever to me is that storches apparently have a higher pitched voice compared to stars, also arars having the deepest voice out of all replika is truly awesome to me (definitely fits).

here are to what musical notes the frequencies corresponded to, in the same ranking as before (visual rendering on a piano keyboard for fun i guess):

kolibri (G6 B6 E7 A7)

mynah (F#6 A#6 D#7 G#7)

eule (F6 A6 D7 G#7)

isa-ariane (F6 G#6 C#7 G7)

storch-elster (E6 G#6 C7 F#7)

star-falke (D#6 G6 B6 F7)

adler (D6 F#6/G6 B6 E7)

(adler has five notes as two close frequencies were distinct from each other, compared to only one in the "feminine sounding" voices. i guess that's how they made him sound different, by overlaying two notes)

arar (C#6 F6 A#6 D#7)

that's it! thanks for coming to my ted talk about signalis voices and listening to me ramble about them :)

[elieowlsclownery]

It's Ameri's birthday and I think she deserves some love too!!! Sometimes I think she gets underappreciated because of the love trio and people have a habit of pitting her against the trio, as if somehow her being around devalues the trio or vice versa. But I think in this kind of story both relationships can be valued. But first let me mention something I wanted to say about Ameri for awhile but couldn't because I was too worried about my favorite weird girl.

Ameri loves Demons just as much as Iruma. Throughout the manga Ameri doesn't just focus on Iruma. She's attracted to a lot of interesting demons, from the school council members she keeps recruiting to Mephisto in her most recent appearance.

She loves unique demons! Even during the devilculum when her romantic(?) dance with Iruma was interrupted she ended up distracted because she found another interesting demon that surprised her.

In a way a lot of her attraction to Iruma is because despite knowing he's human Ameri still sees him as a demon. A unique, interesting and lovable demon, the kind of demon Ameri can't help but admire. Sure she fantasizes about him being more romantic than he actually is, but the reason she fell so hard for him is because of who Iruma is as a person. Someone who could surprise her consistently, who's greed and ambitions grows bigger and bigger with each passing page. Someone who also shares her love for demons and the demonworld.

And I think because of this Ameri is the most likely rival candidate to become the Demon King. Even more than the spoiled grandsons and Sabnock. Because she loves demons as much as Iruma and is the one that taught him ambition.

...and maybe also because if Iruma catches up to her she'll have to confess her feelings and she's not ready for that!!!

On Iruma's side I don't think Ameri's importance to him can be argued. As stated before Ameri was the one who taught him ambition, she was the first to push him and inspire him. He might not think of it as romantic at this point (no I haven't forgotten the blush) but there's no doubt Ameri holds a very special place in his heart. And this might be controversial, but I think Ameri and Iruma can end up together. I think the latest chapter also shows that Clara is alright with them having their own lives apart sometimes so long as she knows she's loved. I don't think that love is going to decimate if Iruma catches feelings for Ameri.

BUUUUUUT!!!!!

I think if Iruma and Ameri get together there's a few things I'd like to see. Main one being that if Iruma's going to be with Ameri he should realize he likes her and confess to her before she does! Not the other way around! He can't just passively accept Ameri's feelings, he needs to wholeheartedly admit to his desires! I think that's also the only way his soulmates will accept it, because aside from obvious jealousy the reason they're so defensive and pull up the soulmate guard is because they're aware Iruma's a pushover. If they feel Iruma only accepted her feelings because he couldn't say no Bablys's heat intex is going to skyrocket.

Likewise Ameri's going to either accept Iruma's a three-for-one deal and/or somehow end up joining the polycule lol. But what would be even more fun is if she ends up having her OWN harem. We've already seen how much her council members adore her. Plus it'd be funny for their newest member Vine who thought he escaped one harem only to end up in another one. In fact Clara and Azz should have their own harem too! I've kinda been wanting Clara to have her own set of admirers because she deserves it!!! As for Azz.........................I'm not sure who would be brave enough but I'm sure someone will be! Eventually!

Another sillier reason I want Iruma to realize his feelings for Ameri before she confesses is because I'd think it'd be the FUNNIEST thing if Iruma decides he's going to confess...after he reaches the same rank as her! If there's going to be romance plots I need them to be silly. I need them to be absolute fools, I need the buffoonery levels to be at MAX.

[nanamiskentos]

do you think toji and/or sukuna are into looksmaxxing. i need to know.

choso is probably near to tears just thinking about it - he's having a hard time adjusting to all these new trends anyways, wdym there's a whole section of it now?

i feel like gojo just flexes his "natural" looks, nanami doesn't even know he has them until someone comments on your post saying "you won/we're so back."

omg hellaurrr i really pulled out a notebook to jot these down (this isn't even a joke, my keyboard was messing with me but i was worried i'd forget to answer properly) but now i may transcribe my notes on jjk + looksmaxxing 😭 🤭 u always send me the funniest things

gojo once found a wrinkle on his forehead and cancelled class for the day. now he sleeps with a cucumber and a jade roller. when he gets drunk, he claims that a kpop idol dm'ed him for advice on clear skin, never says who though (#liar) and in high school he used a self tanner once because suguru once likened him to an overgrown, pale musty mushroom. ended up with orange streaks everywhere. does pilates but will never admit it. wishes that in another life he was an influencer just so someone would send him pr packages because its nice to get presents in a box. definitely calls himself an icon.

geto thinks essential oils are a part of looksmaxxing so he feels better on the inside. literally floats around like a walking bottle of sandalwood and lavender. tried growing facial hair because he thought it would be great to accentuate his jawline, but someone called him a discount samurai and he had to cancel the cult meeting that day. thinks looksmaxxing isn't just physical but also a state of mind, so he carries around books like crime and punishment to look smart. thought that wearing glasses would make him look smarter and had a phase where he wore fake ones and not one person complimented them.

sukuna secretly has a stash of protein powder. it goes in everything, smoothies and sprinkled over raw meat. says that he doesn't give a flying fuck about these things, but used to read old, ancient scrolls about medieval skincare. got uraume to make him a scrub from red spider lilies and wondered why his skin was burning sooo bad afterwards. sharpens his nail with blades and claims its better than just normally clipping your nails, but he always ends up scratching himself bad. has a collection of sheet masks. has the best eyebrows of all time and knows this (gets them plucked). has an anonymous #hater tiktok account where he comments rude things under gojo's posts.

nanami. you are soooo right, he probably doesn't know or give a fuck about these things because he's actually employed. but hates the idea of a ten step skincare routine for he thinks that the best routine is simple: cleanser + moisturiser + sunscreen. believes in the power of a neutral toned wardrobe with clean, tailored silhouettes. but there are photos of him out there from when he was 18 years old, with black eyeliner on his waterline. shoots down everyone's ridiculous looksmaxxing attempts. jawline exercises? just chew your food properly. botox and fillers? try eight hours of sleep before reaching for the needles. want to post a glow up journey? well, just focus on yourself and move in silence. kind of gojo's biggest opp for all this, and being so clean and put together effortlessly...

[hyacinthstears]

So I watch Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles... holy shit I love this movie.

I'd never gotten around to watching this movie till 1am tonight and it is some of the funniest shit I've every seen. It's got found family, silly Mikey who is both party dude and big heart boi, angst, blood, Leo having the the pressure of the world- ok you get it. but while watching it I noticed some things that made me grin and flap my hands like a nerd.

so every leo just has the silly gay slut pose? hell yeah that's hilarious.

god I love this stupid van. I need Leo to say this rn "Batman, we need something stronger to get in that base, the bat mobile just isn't made to take a real beating... so batman, get in the party wagon."

Nightwatcher is canon in tmnt 2019 and no one can tell me otherwise

poor Donnie, just put the poor boy down. not to mention how Donnie gets his arm super broken later in the movie. sigh, send him help.

Leo. GET THERAPY, when you start hallucinating the first thing that pops into your brain shouldn't be: "Oh dang all my brothers are dead and It's all my fault, I'm a terrible leader and it should've been me"

also the first of his brothers both 2012 and 2019 Leo try's to help/cheek on/ try's to get up is Mikey cause he's the baby... omg I love this.

The Movie is so good and if you haven't seen it go do that right now. I will be drawing so much fanart for this movie... oh no.... OH. NO. I"M MAKING AUS IN MY BRAIN!! NOOOOO SOMEONE STOP ME NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[shadowskulls-blog]

Yk given how tall carmilla carmine is why do I imagine a 4’10 reader being either bratty or just annoying carmilla *they just have gremlin energy* or her being protective of them and don’t want them to get hurt and the only way she can handle r is by putting on a high place and can’t get down *the top of the fridge/kitchen cabinet is offically r’s spot*

😂😂😂 and the funniest thing is I am that height and I can see her just having a “I’m done” expression and just put someone there and walk away winning the argument

Sup, I'm back and now have motivation again, and I was scrolling through my inbox and found this, and I wanted to answer it, but instead of doing a story, I'm gonna give headcanons instead. I've never written headcannons, but I read them a lot, so yeah.

Carmilla Carmine x Short Reader (headcannons)

(Sfw) and (Nsfw) headcannons

One thing is for sure the reader has gremlin energy. Being this small and rather full of energy person. Carmilla loves it. It brings her spirits up every time you come by and make jokes

I don't know her cannon height, but I'd imagine it's in the 8 foot scale. Because tall women are very sexy. So she'd definitely pick you up from time to time. Not a whole lot, but sometimes.

Half the times when she does is to either put you on the fridge or a high place to calm you down or when you're being annoying.

Annoying in the sense where you couldn't stop making sex jokes, so she put you up there so she didn't get too distracted from her work or you two were arguing.

I can only imagine the reader going, "wha- Cammy! What you doing?! Carmilla! You can't leave me up here! Carmilla, please! Come back!" While trying not to fall off the fridge so you didn't break something.

And the entire time Carmilla just has the most "I'm done" expression while placing you up there and walking out of the room

And I can only imagine that 40% of time, Carmilla forgets she put you up there and Clara or Odette walk in to grab a drink and you're just up there, having the most scared or tired look on your face and going

"Please, get your mom so she can get me down, and so we can go to bed"

Being very small. Carmilla would be very protective. Making sure you were close by her at all times and also making sure you were with her. While also making sure to be gentle with you. But she also gives you angelic guns to protect yourself.

Lord knows you're deadly with a gun

While you two are in bed, she will always have you wrapped in her arms, her giant hands making it feel like you're wrapped in a cacoon, or it either looks like a koala hugging a tree. You don't even need a blanket because you'll always be wrapped around Carmilla

(Nsfw)

While having sex Carmilla will try her best to be gentle, but it fails most of the time. Sometimes, she'll go too hard or accidentally scratch you a bit.

Carmilla is most definitely a top, but you have to be the top most of the time. Because if you don't, I can only imagine the after shock. But, Carmilla is also a power bottom.

Either way, you're getting railed every time.

The reader is definitely a scratcher. So Carmilla's back or anywhere the reader was grabbing is probably scratched a bit.

(I like physical touch a lot, and that's the only thing you're getting about me)

So the reader is a hugger a bunch, hugging Carmilla's legs, body, neck. You just like wrapping your arms around her, honestly like me

The aftercare is her being very gentle while holding you close. Most of the time, you both will fall asleep right after, holding each other or take a bath together.

So yeah, I don't know how to do headcannons since I've never written for them. Overall I just say what I want to and don't give two fucks. I'm just here to supply thristy bastards like myself.

So, I hope that was a good first try. Also, again, I am so very sorry for not posting. Life just likes to fucks me over but, it does for everyone so this is the last time I'll bitch about my life

[reythenerdypisces]

things that I overlooked in PJO the first time / small, funny things I noticed during my reread

Part 2: Sea of Monsters

there is a lot this time.

this book is so short and it makes up for the length by being hilarious: 

I had nightmares about what Poseidon might turn me into if I were ever on the verge of death - plankton, maybe. Or a floating patch of kelp.

Tyson froze. "Pony!" he cried in total rapture. Chiron turned looking offended. "I beg your pardon?" 

"Um..." I said. "Would this be the super-dangerous prophecy that has me in it, but the gods have forbidden you to tell me about it? Nobody answered. "Right," I muttered. "Just checking." 

"Uh, I like Hercules." "Why?" "Well, because he had rotten luck. Even worse than mine. It makes me feel better."

Annabeth looked at me. "We have to get out of here." "You think I want to be in the girls' restroom?" "I mean the ship, Percy! We have to get off the ship."

Tyson was terrified of them. All throughout the tour, he insisted Annabeth hold his hand, which she didn't look too thrilled about.

"Then why do the gods even let me live? It would be safer to kill me." "You're right." "Thanks a lot." 

A minute later, Annabeth hit a slippery patch of moss and her foot slipped. Fortunately, she found something else to put it against. Unfortunately, that something was my face. 

As Luke was raising his sword to rally his troops, a centaur shot a custom-made arrow with a leather boxing glove on the end. It smacked Luke in the face and sent him crashing into the swimming pool. and a few moments later: He [Luke] raised his sword, but got smacked in the face with another boxing glove arrow, and sat down hard in a deck chair. Luke can't catch a break from those boxing arrows, it's the funniest thing

2. also so much baby percabeth!! they’re so cute

She'd [Annabeth] emailed me the picture after spring break, and every once in a while I'd look at it just to remind myself she was real and Camp Half-Blood hadn't just been in my imagination. the fact that he printed out Annabeth's photo? 

Annabeth punched him in the nose and knocked him flat, "And you," she told him, "lay off my friend." her standing up for Percy is adorable

I mean she [Annabeth] looked good. Really good. I probably would've been tongue-tied if I could say anything except reet, reet, reet.

She [Annabeth] started to sob - I mean horrible, heartbroken sobbing. She put her head on my shoulder and I held her. Fish gathered to look at us - a school of barracudas, some curious marlins. Scram! I told them. They swam off, but I could tell they went reluctantly. I swear I understood their intentions. They were about to start rumours flying around the sea about the son of Poseidon and some girl at the bottom of Siren Bay. number 1. the way percy is always there for her, number 2. the gossiping fish?? I love it

The look in his [Grover] eyes told me something was terribly wrong. Annabeth had been on guard duty that night, protecting the Fleece. If something had happened -he’s admirably protective, of not just annabeth, but all his friends and I love to see it… exhibit b:

"But if I [Grover] get in trouble again, you'll be in danger, Percy! You could die!" "If you get in trouble again, I want to know about it. And I'll come help you again G-man. I wouldn't have it any other way." I adore their friendship.

3. other mentions: 

"I'm Thalia," the girl said. "Daughter of Zeus." what. an. ending. I still remember how floored I was when I first read this wow

the mention of Hylla got me so excited

am I the only one who forgot Percy could control the sailboat? like the flying ropes and whatnot

I also completely forgot about his watch shield! 

I'll be back for part 3 shortly! :)

[v3nusxsky]

Hey, do you write for wandanat? If not that's totally fine but if you do I was wondering if maybe I could request one?

Maybe where Wanda and nat are already together and one night at an avengers party they spot reader and Wanda falls for them and so convinces Natasha to seduce and take reader home with them?

Hopefully with smut, and maybe with daddy nat and soft mommy Wanda?

Love your work soooo much, feel no pressure to write this❤️

One of a Kind 18+

*Authors note~ a) I wrote this exhausted so mistakes are mine sorry y’all. B) I know you guys are all excited for different things so I was struggling to choose what I should post, shamefully having an anxiety attack over not choosing the right fic. So to save the day my lovely girlfriend choose wandnat for tonight*

To requester, I'm sorry I took some artistic liberties here but I honestly couldn't help but write them as g!p I hope that's okay!!!

Trigger warnings~threesome smut seduction daddy and mommy kink g!p Wanda Nat fingering r receiving praise and degrading kinks choking semi public sex??

Prompt~ see ask^^^^

Wanda and Tasha really didn't want to come to this party. No. But as per normal Tony wanted to throw a party and showed off his wealth and success. Wanda opting for a stunning emerald dress and Nat going for a form fitting suit. Wanda hid her cock so well that Nat often found herself being jealous. But she couldn't deny that her girlfriend is absolutely stunning in everything and nothing.

You'd been invited by Fury as a way to introduce you to the Avengers. You'd be set to join the team soon, but no one but Fury or Tony knew. Nat spotted you first, a simple Maroon skirt tucked into a beautiful black pencil skirt. Your legs on full display and a few buttons undone to give a tasteful view of your cleavage to the public. Alone at the bar is how the story starts, a rather cliche but important fact. That was where under an agreement between her and her wife Natasha swooped in on you.

You'd be lying if you said she wasn't sexy and very alluring but you still don't quite understand why she's here wasting time trying to get you in her bed. No one ever does that. It made you skeptical of her advances and actively ignoring the way her voice alone caused your cunt to become slick. The way her voice deepened as her eyes drank you in almost got you. Almost. But your past caught you first, you ended up lashing out at the woman.

"No one's ever really shown an interest in me. I'm not the prettiest or the smartest or the funniest girl around, I'm just average." You almost whispered but the woman could hear the sadness dripping through every word. "So this cruel joke of yours. Just stop it! Because I know no one would ever want me especially when they look like you do. So just stop" your voice broke on the last few words before you fled the scene. Really how could she do this to you? You thought she was a nice person, but to suggest this and not mean it was obviously going to hurt. After all who in their right mind would want an inexperienced virgin when they can have anyone in the whole world?

"Hey, you're beautiful, and I'd gladly take you home for my wife and me to enjoy for the night, you just have to trust we want you in the way we say" she murmured to you a gentle handed rubbing at your back in an attempt to soothe the confusing outburst. Yet both women were no strangers to being used and abused by other people. "You mean it?" You were really speaking more to yourself but when she replied with a Russian pet name that slipped off her tongue, you were a goner, "детка, we've been watching you all evening, no one in this room has caught our interest because we've been focused on you."

A simple nod had Nat leading you to the table to introduce you to her wife. By no surprise, her wife was just as beautiful as the red head. You immediately felt like you were unworthy of their attention. "I um should say I've never, um" you stumbled over your own admission but you could see you had both women's attention. "It's okay детка we will take this slow and at your pace, we truly want to get to know you дорогой" she whispered to you over the loud noise of the party. The other woman who you learned was the Scarlett Witch offered you to come sit closer to the women as you all conversed over small things really, but you were now completely at ease with them, exactly how they wanted you.

Your head warm and fuzzy, you felt an electric pulse of a slender hand trailing your thighs. It appeared you were more sensitive with the alcohol but soon enough you were spreading your legs for the brunette woman with a little help from her magic. From there you exposed your panty covered core to her curious fingers. The woman seemingly unaffected by her actions and holding a conversation with her wife about how much of an asset you'd be to the team. You almost got away with it, almost, but a little whimper escaped you as she accidentally bumped your aching clit.

"Wans" Nat warned, "you best not be playing with the хорошенькая шлюха without me" she growled the last two words. Truly how rude of you both not to wait for her, especially after her work to bring you to them. "I'm sorry Natty, I just couldn't wait anymore" the woman replied and removed her fingers from your core causing you to release a very disappointed whine. "сейчас, котенок, о тебе хорошо позаботятся" Nat purred before gracing you with a kiss to your neck before taking your hand to lead you away from the party, knowing that her wife will follow behind you.

As soon as you rounded the corner the Russian woman immediately slammed your back against the wall and attached her lips to yours with ease. The need was pouring into the kiss as the brunette woman watched in jealousy. She wanted to be the one kissing you, dragging all the pretty nosies she possibly could, but then again watching her wife touch you was doing unspeakable things to her nether region. "Tashsa" Wanda whimpered feeling the tent begin to show through her dress. "Come котенок, mommy is getting impatient and daddy can't wait to ruin your pretty untouched pussy" Natasha purred leading you to the bedroom once again. Only this time she never got side tracked.

Perhaps you'd had too much, but from there it's hazy, how did you end up absolutely bare for two of the most wanted and famous women in the world? And most importantly why the hell did they have throbbing cocks just desperate for you to take them. The women wanted to do this right, they showered you in love and praises. The made sure to touch and caress every inch of skin they could. And only when your ready did they introduce you to more. "котенок, sort out mommy's problem you caused" Nat demanded, encouraging you to bring your head to her shaft, with another quick check in and some guidance you were now choking on her cock as she forced it down your throat. "Oh fuck natty, this throat is perfect, fuck a good cock whore for me oh!"

With a few strokes to own dick she enjoyed the show, you are a fast learner by the looks of it and she was now struggling to contain herself and refrain from doing all the filthy things she desired to you. Wands sensing her wife's impatience slipped from your throat allowing you to breath as Natasha guided you into a new position. With you now on your hands and knees you were able to suck off wanda and give Nat access to your untouched cunt.

She took it slow, letting you adjust to her size, Wanda telepathically sharing the image of you with teary eyes, choking on her cock as you let Nat deflower you. But soon enough you began to rock backwards in a need for something, yet you didn't know what. "Oh there she is, our flight little girl, a dirty slut for us to use. Oh you've made mommy feel so good котенок she's ready to treat you for all your work, you'd love that huh? Mommy to fill your petty throat with cum?" Nat teased keeping her thrusts slow, "and fuck you're so fucking tight котен��к, if mommy doesn't hurry up daddy will paint your pretty pussy white instead."

At the pure threat, Wanda was thrown over the edge into her own pools of bliss, breath heaving as all she could do is mewl yours and her wife's name. You greedily sucked every last drop from her shaft, surprising both women with the fact it was your first time. Only when she was sure she'd finished cumming did she slip from your front and encourage you to slip onto your back so Natasha could see your face. The new position only seemed to encourage the red head, especially with Wanda dropping her head to your breast and skilfully sucking and licking the hardened peaks. She even managed to roughly tweak her wife's right bud causing you both to cry out together.

The gasp you let out when Nat brought one hand from the bed to your throat was something both women wanted on a loop, experimenting with a bit of pressure they discovered a kink for you. "Oh Natty she liked your hand as her necklace. Oh darling is your head all fuzzy?" A broken confirmation left you as Natasha picked up an almost animalistic pace of pounding into you. And when your cries became to loud Wanda guided you to her breast, allowing you to suckle and nip her sensitive skin and effectively soothe you at the same time.

When Natasha came in long spurts of sticky white cum you honestly had no thoughts other than both the women. You lost count of how many times you'd been forced over the edge and just how long you'd been here, but now you didn't care. What a first experience to have. Oh but you weren't done, they immediately started to clean up and look after you, offering food water and cuddles. You wanted to talk, what could this mean? You'd slept with married women? Was it a fling? You hoped not. And Wanda heard all those thoughts and settled you into bed between the women with promises of talking about everything when your brain wasn't still in sub space. You'd be needing a clear mind to decide if you would join the relationship as a third party. But for now, you all slept.

Word count ~ 1839

[starlightsuicide]

Do.you have any TK headcannons for Hermes or Telemachus? Or any of the Epic cast?

Ahem, YES let's see how many I can fit in here! I'll do 1 extra since I don't know if anyone wants any others (and maybe I'm a bit lazy rn bc I just woke up but shhh TwT)

Hermes - He's a little shit– I MEAN mischievous so of course he'd go around tickling the hell out of literally anyone. His favorite teases would be about the lee's smile or laugh just bc he has to make remarks (😒) but if that doesn't work he will always find another way to embarrass you no matter what. Not really the 'mean type' but more of the 'you're going to laugh yourself silly and you'll enjoy' he's literally tickled everyone in Odysseus's crew, family, and every single god and goddess (he has a fucking record in Mount Olympus) Hermes as a lee is a blast like he definitely likes getting his ass recked with tickles and just plays hard to get. He makes his ler's blush and there's no way you can tell me I'm wrong here, just a down side is if you get his wings (his death spot and we all know it) he will scream and kick (maybe him suffer is the best part) but overall he's just a lil silly. Worst spots would be wings, neck/ ears, and behind his knees (his laughter isn't as mocking as his normal laugh but he will do that sometimes just to mess with them) last time he tickled Athena she literally just pinned him down and tickled him until he screamed then walked away like it was a normal Tuesday ✋🏽😭 live laugh Athena. Rarely ever the lee almost always the ler (he just wants to make yall laugh for his own amusement, how sweet)

Telemachus - Omgeesh stop he's too adorable- so back to focusing Teley is just ticklish af (he got it from odysseus and we all know it) I saw this in a different HC but I do agree with it that he got his tickle spots from his parents. As a kid he liked being tickled bc it's fun and he always got into trouble- (whaaat who said that shhh) but when the suitors came he'd try to be all 'adultish' and 'above' such a childish activity (he still loves it deep down) Then one of the suitors, probs Antinous, recked him infront of everyone so now he's even more 'I'm too old for this' yet that doesn't stop Ody. Worst spots are thighs, belly, hips, and back but he's literally just ticklish everywhere so go at it ig. Penelope tickles him when he's sad/doing something stupid and Ody just randomly will make him a squealing mess for the hell of it (let this man have some fun guys) Telemachus's laugh is really boyish and squeaky but when he squeals OML you best cover your ears or you're a dead peep. When he's trying to ticklee someone he doesnt really tease but coos sometimes other than that he just silently recks them (is it better or worse than regular teasing? You tell me) Telemachus would most likely be a lee leaning switch just because it's so easy to get the upper hand on him.

Athena - Speaking about teasing she is the QUEEN of making lee'a blush/get flustered to the point where even Hermes doesn't stand a chance. Only lost 1 tickle fight (she let Telemachus win to cheer him up but you didn't hear that from me) I've seen the idea where she use to tickle Ody as 'stamina exercises' (and to knock his attitude down a peg) and I LOVE IT she so does the same with telemachus and when Ody found out oh he was OVERJOYED (now his son gets to suffer-) Her laugh is sorta deep and very very snortish, she doesn't squeal she hoots and it's the funniest thing you'll ever hear. Worst spots would be her wings, ribs, armpits, and inner elbow (Ody found that one out so thank him for it) she's not imposed to tickling but she's mostly a ler but I'd say a ler leaning switch.

[ckret2]

What your thoughts on other bill ships? Like Kryptos/Bill or Stanley/Bill. I love your Wasting Away Again in the Goldilocks Zone fic on ao3 and this is my first time using Tubmlr, so I’m not sure how it works here, so sorry if I sent this wrong place 💔

u found the right place

I don't ship him with any of the Henchmaniacs (except for saying an eye-bat is his ex because it's the funniest possible option), but I think he's hooked up with half of them. I'd say "casually hooked up" but I don't think there's anything casual about it, the Henchmaniacs are fueled by petty drama and rancid vibes.

I acknowledge Kryptos is easy for ships because he looks like he could conceivably be the same species as Bill and we know so little about him you could give him almost any personality, but i'm not interested in it myself. Especially since it feels like a lot of what I've seen with Kryptos/Bill goes for "Kryptos is the one nice guy in the gang and Bill is tsundere for him" and that doesn't do anything for me.

I occasionally contemplate "wouldn't it be fucked up if Bill hooked up with Stan so he could pretend he's with Ford and Stan knew but still went with it for some reason (idk why, maybe Stan's super lonely, maybe Bill's currently wearing a smoking hot human body, the point is we want DRAMA so any excuse will work)" but outside that, nah. I think Stan and Bill would be VERY fun partners in crime and they're GREAT to bounce off each other, but I prefer them platonically, I don't feel a romantic or sexual spark between them.

You wanna know what Bill ships I'm fascinated with?

Bill/Trembley. it's GOTTA be one sided though, Bill's gotta be head over heels for this weirdo like a teenage girl for her first celebrity crush while Trembley never even notices

Bill/the howling void he totally lied about not dating in TBOB. Here I am 15,000 words deep into writing their entire relationship start to finish... I was literally already writing about Bill dating a black hole, who happens to howl, prior to TBOB; so the book just took my OC and made her canon??? yeah sure fine I'll take it, damn.

Bill-possessing-Silas/the 100-something wives he stole from his cultists according to thisisnotawebsitedotcom. weeks after that reveal this is still the funniest & most fascinating thing to me simply because Bill had ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to do that, truly enthralled by his potential motives, I cannot believe this triangle is married

Bill/the shaman. I just think something was going on there. I can feel it. The shaman taught him a bit of magic, how often do you think that happens to Mr. Trillion-Year-Old All-Seeing Eye? Probably not much!

[hazardparadox]

Okay listen, I just need to talk rant about these two memes (pics?) That have been rotting in my camera roll for a sec because I'm bored and waiting for my flight

Found on pinterest in the deep dark corners (probably not. I just kept scrolling and found them)

For the first one OH MY FUCK I WAS DYING WHEN I FIRST SAW IT. I live for the Oscar and Carlos drama and it was by far my fave thing to come from the 2023 season (the landoscar podiums were great too I guess) I just think it's so funny with all the comparisons to carlando and landoscar

Pls I literally sent it to way too many people to the point where one of my friends blocked me

And it's also got baby Oscar who looks pretty much the same and showing more emotion than he ever has in f1 (jk) (sorta) and the whole expression is just so funny to look at AND JUST LOOK AT HIS LITTLE SMIRK!!!

But anyway all the Oscar/Carlos memes and things are the funniest shit ever I swearrrr and if anyone has more (vids or posts or anything) memes I'd love to see it

THE NICKNAME AND THE PRONOUNCIATION OF A NAME.

This is so special to me oh my god.

I don't even know why but something about this is so precious and the way that it's so perfect and accurate and ARGJHSHF I'm just a sucker for this kind of stuff and they're all so important to me omg

And the video of Max saying 'Charlie' 😭❤️ (but let's bfr he probably didn't say it. BUT I CAN STILL ACT LIKE ITS TRUE)

I swear I've seen a compilation of Lando saying 'Oscah' but I have no idea where or if it was just a figment of my imagination but it's just stupidly cute to me

Also I just love the pic of Lando and Max in general

Here's an extra for you if you read suffered through the whole rant

[foundfamilyhq]

Propaganda under readmore:

He has paid for the crimes of his corporation for long enough. The silly little guy doesn't need to be tied to the monopolizing oligarchy that uses his face for wickedness.

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The Walt Disney Corporation blows, let's take their precious golden child and make him one of us.

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To quote another tumblr post: "Do you not think he would look upon what his parent company has done and be ashamed?" Mickey is not his company. He has had to sit and watch Disney repeatedly slam their faces into poor decisions rooted in capitalism and bigotry. He is just an innocent guy who has shown time and time again that he would not stand with Disney if he was allowed to. But he is their face, and is forced to take the same hits they take. I say no. Let us cast aside Disney and their greed…but spare the mouse. He is not his creators.

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Submitting a counter argument because I know some people will be standing up for him from the "It's not his fault Disney make him do bad things" angle:

Look, I used to be neutral on Mickey Mouse. I'd go as far as to say I'd never had an opinion on him. But recently, my baby niece got into watching Mickey Mouse's Funhouse and I sat with her while she watched an episode where Pete dresses up as an old lady to try to trick Mickey and friends into giving him some soup. Mickey does this whole thing where he talks to the audience and says shit like "Do only ladies have big hairy arms? No!" "Do old ladies have furry ears? No!" etc., to just hammer home the point that old ladies apparently cannot look like that

And just… fuck this. Fuck this mouthpiece of Disney telling kids how women "shouldn't" look in a cutesy way. It's misogynistic, transphobic, fatphobic and I could go on. Whatever kind of character Mickey Mouse was at the start, I really don't want the Disney mascot telling kids how to align themselves with gender norms to be in the found family, kthanxbai

-

I think he'd stand a much better chance if his Kingdom Hearts incarnation was shown or even mentioned (not sure why he originally lost, but I'm willing to bet it's because his base design is the face of a corporation that has…some issues). Him saying "say fellas, did someone mention the Door to Darkness?" is the funniest shit on this planet. I have linked to an image of him from said scene. Important to note he says this line after he shows up out of nowhere. While wearing a Hot Topic trenchcoat. I would like people to consider this when considering whether to vote for Michael Rat. Kingdom Hearts forever.

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i'm sure there's lots of reasons for and against why he should join, but i just think his vibes are bad