#and i'd get so burnt out and then eventually

[a-998h]

Translated using Google: Of the sagau mmm it could first be the behavior of mavuika trying to retain her creator for herself and her nation since his mere presence stabilizes the ley lines (which makes it ultra important

So the original SAGAU series I wrote was before Natlan was released so this can be seen as a mini chapter.

Reader's POV

Well, I'm fucked. I wanted to escape Sumeru, but now I'm in the desert. A group of Eremites had found and given me water. But they seemed to know Dehya, which poses a problem for me. The desert is a wild terrain that goes from a fiery pit of Hell to icy cold wasteland in a day. But, at this point I really didn't care. So, I snuck out and ran. By now, the giant pyramid was looking larger and larger the farther I got from the Eremites. Now, I was by an oasis planning my next move. I remember seeing a map of Teyvat in the Knight's library and there was a land beyond the Sumeru desert known as Natlan.

'OK, I just gotta make it to the giant pyramid and then I'm free,' I think to myself.

I know practically nothing about Natlan as it was only announced before I ended up in the game. My skin felt sun burnt and it was starting to hurt when I ran but I don't have time to sit around. I hear footsteps and I freak out and duck behind something big enough to hide me. Peeking my head out, I see not only Cyno but also Candace.

'Oh, shit," I yell in my head.

I watch as they start looking for any clues that I was there. My heart is racing as both of them seem to be getting closer and closer. I don't move, speak, or even breathe. I hear them moving around and then they stop. They're waiting for me to make a move so they can catch me.

"Your Devine majesty, you must be hot and tired. Just come with us and you'll be taken care of," I hear Candace say.

I'm still silent and still as I know the pair are still there. So, I waited. I don't know how long I was under the sweltering sun. I eventually heard the sounds of them walking away. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. Turning to the left I start running in the opposite way of the footsteps.

I soon reach the giant pyramid as the sun starts to set. I don't want to be in the freezing desert night so I duck inside. It's empty and makes me feel small.

As I walk around I get flashes of blurry images in front of my eyes. There's no voices, only images. A horned woman, white haired man, and sometimes Nahida and other times a tall woman who looks like an older Nahida.

It was strange, and made me nervous. I just want to go home, but it seems like the universe itself is trying to keep me here. I check my supplies and see I have just enough to make it to Natlan if I plan things right.

The echoing silence didn't help my nerves. I wanted comfort, but I also wanted to be free. I started to think about what certain people would say if they caught me. I keep up this game until I fall asleep. The stone floor felt cool against my sun burnt skin. I should probably see a doctor or something once I reach Natlan.

*TIMESKIP*

When I wake up, I'm greeted by the blinding sun and scorching heat. It hurts to move, but I have no choice. I leave the pyramid and continue my journey west. I keep my eyes and ears open as I think about the freedom that will soon be within my reach. Doing my best to avoid the scorpions, red vultures, and other desert dangers.

'How much farther is Natlan?' I ask myself.

I'm in so much pain and so, so tired. My skin is probably blistering and red, my clothes feel heavy with sweat, and I can feel the drumming of my heartbeat in my finger tips. The wind helped to cover my tracks, but not with making the journey easier.

"Maybe... Maybe I should just go back to the Eremites or something, at least I'd get water and decent food," I say to the empty sky.

The only response I get is from a desert eel who just blinks at me before disappearing into the sand. I keep walking, as I have been for days. I'm running out of water. If I don't reach Natlan soon I'm gonna die out here. I debate turning around and giving up but I'm too far for anyone to reach me.

I keep moving towards Natlan, despite for freedom. I try to remember a map of the game I saw on the official website, I feel like I'm going the right direction but without an form of compass I'm kind of screwed.

Soon, I see a rock face of red. I groan but see a walkable way up. I follow the path, tired and desperate not to die in the desert. I've finally reached the top, and I see it.

Water, sweet water! I run down the cliff face towards the water that separates me from this sandy hell! I reach the waters edge and then stop. This water might be deep and even through Sumeru clothes are airy I still might get dragged down.

I move carefully from sand patch to sand patch, until I see that the last thing in my way is a span of water I'll have to swim through. I start swimming, normally this would be easy but the sun has stolen most of my strength.

I manage to reach the land, stumbling down a dirt path. I'm here, Natlan. My vision is starting to fade and my limbs feel heavy. I hear voices in the distance, but I can't make out who they belong or what they're saying. Maybe... maybe I should take a nap. Yeah, I just need a nap and then I'll be OK.

Kachina's POV

Mualani is taking a group of people on one of her tours, and she brought me with her as an expert on the minerals found in Tequemecan Valley and some things about my tribe. We were walking and talking when I stop.

"Kachina, is something wrong?" Mualani asks.

I point towards the figure who's laying in the grass, sun burnt probably dehydrate, and soaking wet. I start to panic and Mualani is trying to keep the group calm. I run back to get help and soon people are following me back to the figure. The stronger ones pick them up to get them to a doctor. Mualani has manged to calm the group down and starts getting them interested in seeing the Ancestral Temple. I follow behind the people carrying the figure. Something seems familiar but what. Turning my head to the right I see some graffiti someone did, and it clicks. That figure isn't some adventurer in way over their head, that's the Creator!

I don't know what to do, should I tell someone or should I wait until the doctor figures it out? Whatever, I should probably tell the archon. Yes, I'll tell the archon. I summon Twirly and start making my way to the archon.

Citlali's POV

Wait, something feels wrong. My gut is telling me something is happening. I bet it was my grandson getting into trouble or maybe Itzpapa and Caitlin are causing their own trouble? No, this feels different. It soon hits me, the ley lines. I've been around for years and not once during that time have the ley lines felt this... stable. I need to investigate and find what's happening but I should probably tell Muavika. Though, Ororon should also know. No, this could put him at risk and knowing him he'd attempt to investigate and get himself killed.

*TIMESKIP*

Reader's POV

Everything hurts. My vision is trying to focus on the ceiling in above me while I hear people talking. I sit up and hear frantic yelling.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Y-You're awake?" A guy asks.

I nod and he and the woman near him look confused and slightly scared. I ask them where am I and who are they. They introduced themselves and said they were healers. Turns out I didn't take a nap in the grass, I was sun burnt and passed out in the grass but I was found and brought to them for treatment. They both seem a little nervous, which means I'm either a medical miracle or they also think I'm some god and this will be like every other nation.

We're all silent, staring, and waiting for someone to make a move. A voice from someone else breaks the tension as the pair walk to see who it is. There's the sound of paper and I see the two look at me over their shoulders. Oh shit, here we go again. I stand up and go to try and stumble my way out the door the but the older woman of the medical pair drags me back into bed and says I have to stay there until they say otherwise.

'Great, I wanted freedom from Sumeru but now I'm just probably gonna be stuck!'I think.

The pair keep me there for a few days, making sure I'm not trying to leave. They never told me their names, but they were great company. When I was fully healed I wandered outside to explore.

The area is a rocky yet beautiful valley. I know people are gonna stare but at this post I'm used to it. I spend some time with the people, finally getting to see Kachina's fluffy ears in person and have Xilonen try teaching me how to roller skate. Natlan always seemed so fun in game, and it's just as fun in person.

Muavika's POV

I really hate doing this, but it must be done. With the Creator returning our ley lines have finally stabilized. Citlali investigation made it clear that the only way for our ley lines to be stable, and for the people to be safe, is to have the Creator stay permanently in Natlan. I feel bad, they deserve to be free like anyone else but their presence is active saving thousands of lives but just existing on our soil. Thought, why were they passed out on the grass so close to our border with Sumeru. So far Nahida hasn't sent me anything regarding it. I spoke with each tribe leader, giving them permission to do what it takes to keep the Creator here so long as no blood of theirs is spilled.

I smile to myself, I've tried for centuries to protect my people and my very own Creator was the key, and they came here willingly. I've already set up a day to meet them in person, the problem is the tribes are arguing over who will host this meeting. That means I'll have to call the tribe heads in for a meeting so we can discuss this in a civil manner.

"Either way, the nation with be saved and the Creator with have the time of their life," I tell the tribe leaders.

I watch as they discuss. I'm smiling. I now this is wrong, but the Creator has always been good to us in the past, why won't they be good to us now?

[okordinaryish]

guess who's finally learning that her writing doesn't have to be perfect from the get-go and that she can just write what she wants to and go back later to make it better

[earl-grey-crow]

.

[fightingthetides]

[水]

She’d be correct in assessing him as a ‘himbo,’ considering that he didn’t always think before he did anything… and even if he did think, it sometimes wasn’t the most logically sound. It was like most of his IQ points went into sports and athleticism. He had this idea that she could pay for his burgers and he’d pay for hers, but realized the errors of his thought process when she spoke.

“Ah! Uh… I meant to say I’ll treat next time!”

Nice save, Mizumachi. Totally believable and sound reasoning. That’ll work, right? She can pay this time around and he can pay for the next time! That way he can return the favor because she also made some breakfast for him that other time. Hm?

“Let’s go! Say, do you like feeding people?”

He keeps pace with her as she walks them to the promised burger land- or rather, truck. If he had a nickle for each time she’d fed him, he’d have two nickles. It wasn’t a lot, but it was interesting how it happened twice already in the time they’ve known each other.

Selling Japanese burgers already would have him sold. Wakwak burger was going to have a new regular customer who was craving a reminiscent taste of home, no doubt. With how hungry he was feeling, somewhere close was definitely for the better, he’ll get to eat sooner!

“Ah… I could eat 5, yeah. Some days I could eat 10. Depends on how hungry I am. I eat a lot after practice.”

Which was to say that he didn’t gorge himself on food before practice, because it would only slow him down if he pigged out on food. It was better for him to make up for the calories lost during practice by eating his fill on food afterwards.

“How about you? 1? 2?”

Seemed like a safe conservative guess for how many burgers she could eat in a single sitting. It seemed pretty fun trying to guess how much she could eat.

    Of course, Vivian waits for him to finish speaking first before blinking, rather dumbfounded. Ah... were her words somehow lost in translation, she wonders? No sooner does she realize this, she'll then subsequently grimace before letting out a weak chuckle, because when it came down to it, she had completely forgotten Mizumachi happened to be quite the himbo... for better or for worse. Why, if it weren't for the fact Vivian already knew English wasn't his first language, she may find herself growing flustered over having the compliment redirected back at her, but coming from his lips, it did not sound the very least bit sexy.

    "Er... listen, when I say 'treat', I meant I'll be the one footing the entire bill; in other words, your burgers will be paid for by me," Vivian finally clarifies while resisting the urge to add 'Capiche?' at the end. Honestly, the whole entire time, she felt stupid for even having to explain it, but considering this was Mizumachi she's talking about... well, perhaps further simplification was necessary. Regardless, she'll soon turn once she figures out the perfect place to take him.

    "Now, come! We have a food truck to go to," Vivian announces, and upon giving Mizumachi one final peek peek over her shoulder, makes a beckoning motion with her hand before setting off. Naturally, she planned on taking him to Wakwak Burger, a food truck in Vancouver that was known to sell Japanese burgers for the very affordable price of $2.85. Granted, after recently selling off her old Miku figurine on eBay, she could afford to take him someplace fancier, but seeing as though Wakwak Burger was way closer to where they were, Vivian concluded Mizumachi would appreciate her choosing a place within walking distance.

    "Oh yeah, that reminds me! How many burgers can your black hole of a stomach manage, Kenny? 5? 10?" came her eventual query, because sure enough, it finally dawned on her she has no idea how much Mizumachi could actually eat.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

All these ADHD success stories have me in tears because that could have been me, and sometimes it was me, but I still couldn't make it. Three years of attempting the same two semesters, countless meetings with counselors and support services and professors, med dosage increases, mental breakdowns, love and support from a classmate who unofficially adopted me (who I haven't spoken to since I dropped out)... Nothing to show for it but burnout and trauma.

Can it ever get better from here? I feel hopeless.

I'm so sorry. I'm not sure people realise just how fractured your self-esteem becomes when you fail out of an academic course; it properly haunts you, and for a long time afterwards.

I failed my first degree thanks to my own undiagnosed ADHD. I have a very typical story among our people - female, high-achieving in high school, fell apart in university. It was my second year where everything suddenly went wrong. I did not turn in a single assignment on time. I physically, mechanically, could not get myself to write them until the night before the final two-weeks-late deadline, when I'd have to pull an all-nighter and hate life and myself and eventually hand it in in the morning and then sleep for the rest of the day. My attendance was utterly appalling, particularly for a 9am lecture; trying to get up at 8 was a task roughly equivalent to trying to walk on water. I had to resit the exams I'd failed every summer. A particular low point was missing an exam because I didn't realise I even had it; I'd attended so few lectures that I hadn't heard the lecturer say it existed. I remember lying in bed at night and crying, full on sobbing, because I knew something was wrong with me but I didn't know what had happened. I'd always been so good at this, always had such good grades; it was part of my identity, both for myself and how others saw me.

And like. What else can you blame that on? What other explanation is there, other than 'laziness'?

I did better in my third year; I was determined to attend, and get assignments done. I was better; though still a long way from perfect. But so much damage had been done by then. I had better marks, but there was one single module whose assignment I passed but whose exam I failed; I just needed to resit the exam.

And I simply couldn't bring myself to do it. There was too much shame, too much guilt. I honestly couldn't fathom what the point of even trying was. I was so burnt out and broken by then. And then I had to pick up the pieces afterwards and return to life, surrounded by friends who had made it, with nothing of my own to show.

It was a few years later that I decided to go back to uni and try again. By then, I was doing it for a different reason - I wanted to prove to myself and the world that I could do it, I think. I was a bit older and a bit wiser by then; enough that I chose to be very honest with myself at every step, and could start putting systems in place to succeed. This time, it was a small class, so the lecturers all knew me by name rather than letting me fade into the background; I studied part-time to avoid overwhelm; I altered my own deadlines to be a week early, and I forced myself to write to them.

I think a crucial part was also changing how I viewed the degree, and my attitude to higher ed. Before, I did uni because "That's what you do after school". I saw it as a bigger high school with different teachers, like I HAD to be there and was doing assignments and attending because I HAD to, not because I fundamentally wanted to do the course for its own sake. The second time, I did it properly - I wanted a degree. I wanted a degree in that specific topic. I wanted to improve academically. I read the feedback this time, and applied it to each following assignment.

And, I got into the habit of going into the university computer room every day for a few hours so I could work on my assignments. Other course mates started joining me; one in particular, Chris, who later also got diagnosed with ADHD. I now know we were body doubling, but at the time, we both just saw it as getting into a good habit and working on assignments in a nicer environment.

I finished that degree with a first. Since then, I did a PG Cert with Oxford University, and a post-grad PCET, both of which required the same study-based skillset. Oxford in particular was hard, because the nature of the course was a distance learning one, and that is Very Bad for my ADHD; my brain requires routine and structure and accountability to work. That one gave me mild burnout, actually. But, my point is this:

It absolutely can get better. What that looks like is going to be different for everyone, because you need to be very honest with yourself about what works for you and what doesn't, and then choose a course accordingly; there are also specific types of support that you may need, which may or may not be available.

But you really, really can do it if you can get the right set-up and accommodations.

However, I would be wrong not to add this:

We connect university with intelligence, culturally, and we shouldn't. University is about depth of learning on a particular subject, done within and according to a particular system. Intelligence helps, but other skills are also needed to be able to complete a university degree; and that's not for everyone. You could be more than intelligent enough for it, and it still may be the wrong fit for you. That doesn't mean you're stupid or broken or useless - it just means this isn't the system for you. And there's no shame whatsoever in that.

That may or may not be true of you! We don't know each other, you could be in either bracket. But either way: you are not stupid, or useless, or broken. The system is simply not set up for your personal brain chemistry, any more than a tree-climbing test is set up for a fish. Hopefully any of this ramble is helpful!

[sunnyrisee]

The Moment I Knew — Lee Know

pairing : idol! lee know x fem! reader

genre : friends to lovers, angst with happy ending, fluff.

summary : in which you fall in love with your best friend, only to be shattered by rumors of him dating someone else. so you try to distance yourself to move on. but letting go proves harder than you ever imagined.

word count : 4,159

author's note : this took three days, whether this is good or not. i hope you like this series. sorry if there are any mistakes.

taglist : @minhosbitterriver

To the world, he's an idol.

But to you, he's much more. He's your best friend, someone who knows you deeply and stands by you. He became an idol while you were still in college.

Actually, you love him.

As his fame grew through the years, you continued your studies, focusing on your master's degree to become a vet. It's sweet how he tells you that if his cats ever get sick, he can come to you for help and doesn't need to find another vet.

You love the idea, so you promise him that.

When Minho invited you to the dorm to watch movies, hang out, or chat, you were always greeted by the sound of yelling, people running around, or occasionally the smell of burnt food. You laughed it off, knowing they were like a family. Despite the chaos, Chan kept apologizing to you profusely. While Chan kept bowing and apologizing to you, you watched Minho—well, yeah, he was busy stuffing tissues into Hyunjin's mouth.

Your eyes widened, and you excused yourself from Chan. He followed your gaze and soon facepalmed.

"Minho! Stop that, idiot. You're hurting him!" You scolded, grabbing his arm to make him stop. He gave you a disgusted look, as if to say, "Why are you on Hyunjin's side, not mine?"

"Well, tell him to shut up! He hurt my eardrums!" Minho retorted, yanking his arm away from your grip. Hyunjin, finally free, gasped for air and glared at Minho.

"God, Y/n. How could you stand him?" Hyunjin asked, throwing an arm over his eyes as if exhausted by the ordeal. You laughed softly, glancing at Minho who was still grumbling.

"It wasn't always easy, but I guess I'd gotten used to his antics. Besides, someone had to keep an eye on him."

Minho shot you a mock glare. "Oh, so now you're against me too?"

"Of course not." You replied with a grin. "But sometimes you did make it hard. Maybe I just had a soft spot for difficult people." Minho rolled his eyes at your statement and went back to setting up the movie.

Minho wasn't much of a talker; he preferred to listen more. There were times he did speak, but not often. Still, you were grateful that he wanted to share his days with you. On the other hand, you loved talking, especially with him, and joking around was always fun. However, he hated it when you teamed up with Kim Seungmin.

He remembered a time when you were playing a game with Seungmin. Minho messaged you, urgently asking where you were because he needed your help to find Dori's toy. Seungmin took your phone and replied with a dog meme flipping the middle finger. He hated how powerful you'd become with Seungmin.

You eventually made friends with all of them, and most of them were a lot of fun to hang out with.

One thing they didn't know was your feelings for him. Yes, some of them might have asked about it, but Minho brushed it off, reassuring them that you both were just best friends. It hurt, and you could feel your heart breaking every time Minho downplayed it, making you question if your feelings were even noticed. You didn't know when the feelings started—maybe it was because you often spent time together, or perhaps it was the way you were enchanted whenever you were with him.

As time went on, you continued with your own life, focusing on your studies. Yet, whenever you lost in thought, Minho always seemed to come to mind.

After a long day at college, you finally got back to your apartment, exhausted and ready to rest. Just as you were about to settle in, you heard a notification from your phone. You checked it and saw a message from Minho saying he would be coming over because Felix and Seungmin had somehow managed to burn the kitchen.

Your face lit up, a smile curving on your lips. Even though you had to admit you were really tired and your back ached, you couldn't help but feel a little excited at the thought of Minho coming over.

"Thank you for letting me come here. It was crazy there—Chan was now scolding them both." Minho said as he arrived. He looked around your apartment, taking in the calm atmosphere compared to the chaos he had just left.

"I owed you one for this. If you needed anything, just let me know."

You laughed softly, despite your exhaustion. "No need to thank me. Just make yourself comfortable."

He sat on your couch, trying to calm his mind, while you sat on the floor, hugging your knees to your chest. As you listened, he started to ramble about how the new comeback was wearing him out.

"I swear, this comeback has completely worn me out. With the upcoming tour, I'm just so exhausted." Minho said, running a hand through his hair. You listened quietly, offering a comforting presence.

"I could only imagine how tough that must be. But you were doing an amazing job. It's okay to take a break and just breathe for a bit..." You replied, stifling a yawn as you started to feel sleepy.

"You've never seen me in the practice room. You need to know how tiring it is! Jisung keeps falling, or Chan forgets to mirror the dance." He continued, shaking his head.

You kept listening to his ramble, it made your heart flutter when he opened up to you. Today was just different—you were more tired than ever. You wanted to hear more and value these moments, but you shifted slightly, and your head eventually rested against the edge of the couch.

Minho continued talking until he heard your little snores, realizing you had fallen asleep. He glanced down and was surprised to see you resting against the edge of the couch, a gentle smile forming on his lips.

Not wanting to disturb you, he carefully moved to sit on the floor beside you, letting you rest comfortably.

"I didn't realize how exhausted you were. Make sure you get some rest. I'll stay here for a while."

You knew you loved him more, and it was becoming clearer each day. Every time you were with him, you could feel butterflies in your stomach and a warm flush across your cheeks. Even if you didn't really hang around the building or accompany him during practice, the time you spent together was enough to make your feelings grow stronger.

You loved him, and you couldn't even describe your own feelings. You could talk about him all day, about the little things he did that made your heart race, the way he smiled, or how he always knew what to say to make you feel better. But no matter how deeply you loved him, a nagging doubt always lingered at the back of your mind.

Did he see you as more than just a friend? Or were you forever destined to be just his best friend, standing on the sidelines of his heart?

It was night time when Minho invited you to tag along with the group at the carnival. You didn't really want to get on the rides, so you chose to just watch them. As time went on, you all walked around, talking and laughing, but you found yourself lagging behind Minho, falling behind the others.

You glanced at his back, wanting to cherish moments like these just with him. Your mind trailed off, and you couldn't help but think that one day, he'd find someone who truly matched him. There were so many beautiful idols out there, and you began to realize.

Maybe you just weren't meant for him.

A deep sadness settled in your chest as you trailed behind, feeling the distance grow between your heart and reality. You watched him from afar, caught between the joy of being near him and the painful acknowledgment that your feelings might never be returned. The carnival lights seemed to mock your longing, a bittersweet reminder of what could have been but likely never would.

You bit your lip, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. You didn't want to ruin this moment—he looked so happy, enjoying himself with the group.

Why couldn't you be strong for once? Why couldn't you just move on from him?

The self-doubt and heartache overwhelmed you, making you wish you could just disappear at this point.

"Y/n? Are you alright?" Minho asked softly, his hand gently resting on your shoulder as he tried to get your attention. As you looked up at him, you saw the concern etched on his face. You didn't want to make him worry.

"I'm fine, Minho. I was thinking how can cats eat leaves." You assured him, adding a joke to deflect his concern. You hoped it would be enough to brush off his worry.

Minho raised an eyebrow, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Cats eating leaves? You're such a weirdo, Y/n." You laughed softly, relieved as his playful comment eased the tension.

Throughout the night, the ache in your heart never quite went away. No matter how hard you tried to push your feelings aside, it felt like everything around you kept reminding you of them, making it hard to enjoy the evening.

Lee Know from Stray Kids Rumored to Be Dating a Member of a Girl Group.

As you read the headlines, and a knot tightened in your stomach. A flood of questions overwhelmed you, each one gnawing at you and making it harder to breathe.

You knew this day might come, but you didn't expect it to hurt so much. It was as if your heart was being shattered into a million pieces, each one cutting deeper than the last.

You stared at the screen, the words blurring as tears welled up in your eyes. You tried to hold them back, but it was useless. Each tear that fell felt like another piece of your heart breaking away. You should've known better. But why couldn't you just leave him be? Why couldn't you just let go?

You let yourself cry the whole day, dying to ask him if the rumors were true or not. Yet, you didn't dare touch your phone to message him. You were afraid, you were scared. The fear of hearing confirmation, of shattering your last glimmer of hope, kept you paralyzed. Every sob seemed to wrack your entire being, leaving you feeling more fragile and broken with each passing moment.

You clutched your pillow, drenched with your tears. You never imagined that loving him could be this painful. Everything felt unbearably heavy, and it seemed like pure torture. It was as if your world was collapsing, each breath more difficult to take under the weight of your unspoken love.

Luckily, you didn't have class today, so you could cry as much as you wanted. If there had been class, you were sure you wouldn't have been able to focus.

What made it worse was that you didn't have any friends other than Minho and the other Stray Kids members. You hated yourself for not branching out more, and now you had to face the painful reality of moving on from your only close friend.

You kept your word, making an effort to avoid him as much as possible. Your days felt lonelier, and your apartment seemed colder, each corner a reminder of the emptiness you felt.

You hated having to be this way with your own friend. After two weeks, you responded only with short replies or didn't answer his messages at all. His calls went straight to voicemail.

When you arrived back at your apartment, you looked around and realized just how much you missed him. The reality of it hit hard—you were nothing like him, and you felt utterly miserable without him.

"Hyung, I haven't seen Y/n in a while. I tried to message her but she said she's been busy lately." Han said as he took a seat next to Minho in the studio. He then began to type something on his laptop.

Minho's eyes widened in surprise. "You know about Y/n? I've been trying to reach her for weeks, but she's been completely unresponsive."

Han glanced up from his laptop, noticing Minho's distress. "I didn't know something was going on. I thought she was just busy with school or something. Is everything okay?"

Minho sighed heavily, unsure of what to say. He had never truly asked about you. Running a hand through his hair, he muttered.

"I don't know... She's not her usual self these days..." Minho admitted, his voice tinged with uncertainty. He was confused about what to do, feeling lost without knowing what was going on. Normally, you always knew exactly what to do or say in moments like this, but now, without you, he felt completely lost and unsure of how to fix things.

"You know? Y/n is my voice when w-words fail me, she's the person who listens patiently to all my thoughts, and she's the person I depend on when I need someone to be there..."

Seeing his hyung, who almost never talks about his feelings, open up like this was like watching someone who'd been silent their whole life suddenly find their voice. Han could sense just how much you meant to him. It was as if you were the missing piece of Minho's life, the one person who made everything make sense.

God, he wished for someone like you to come into his own life.

"Hyung, I'm sorry to ask this, but do you have feelings for her?" Han's question left Minho stunned.

"What kind of question is that? She's my best friend!" Minho snapped, his words coming out sharper than he intended. There was no way he could have feelings for his own friend, right?

Han looked down at his laptop, trying to gather his thoughts. He had no intention of breaking into his hyung's boundaries, but since he knew you too, he was sure one of you was in love. That thought was embedded in his mind, an unspoken truth he couldn't ignore. He didn't say much, but he noticed the subtle glances and fleeting smiles, the silent language of affection that spoke louder than words.

Minho didn't know what was going through his mind. His instincts urged him to see you, as if something inside was telling him he needed to. He sent you a message saying he would pick you up today.

As he waited for you to finish class, the minutes seemed to stretch on endlessly. When you finally received his message, you were taken aback.

You spotted him waiting for you, his face obscured by a mask and glasses, and a hat pulled low over his eyes. His attempt at disguise almost made him unrecognizable.

"Hey, dummy."

"Hey, why did you waste your time picking me up?" You asked, your tone coming off colder than you intended. You knew clearly he was supposed to have practice today.

"I have some free time, so why not? Plus, you've been acting strange lately, I was starting to think you'd vanished into thin air." Minho replied with a hint of a smile behind his mask. His eyes stayed fixed on you as you walked ahead, a look of concern and curiosity on his face that felt more intense than usual.

As you both walked side by side, the silence between you felt heavier than usual. You could feel Minho's gaze occasionally drifting towards you.

"Are you okay?" Minho finally broke the silence, his voice softer than usual. You hesitated, struggling to keep your composure. 

"It's nothing, really."

He stopped walking and gently placed a hand on your shoulder, making you turn to face him. "Y/n, you don't have to shut me out. If something's wrong, I want to help. You're my friend, and I care about you." 

Hearing him worry about you made your heart ache. You took a deep breath, struggling to hold back your emotions.

"It's just… There are things I can’t talk about. Not right now..." Minho's eyes softened with understanding.

You stood in silence, your emotions bubbling just beneath the surface. You wanted to voice everything you'd been holding back for so long, but the words felt trapped, unable to escape.

The awkward silence was broken by a soft, pitiful meow. You and Minho turned simultaneously, searching for the source of the sound. Minho's expression softened as he carefully approached, revealing a small, trembling kitten cradled in his hands.

Your heart melted at the sight. Without a word, you reached out and carefully took the kitten from Minho, your vet student instincts immediately taking over. As you examined the kitten with utmost care, you spoke gently to it, trying to calm its trembling. You reached into your bag and pulled out some supplies, preparing to tend to its needs.

Minho watched you closely, mesmerized by your gentle touch and genuine care. He was at a loss for what was stirring inside him, but as he watched you tenderly care for the kitten, you looked more beautiful than ever. His heart raced uncontrollably, and a warm flush spread across his cheeks.

As you finished tending to the kitten, you glanced up and caught Minho's eyes on you. He immediately averted his gaze, clearly flustered.

"See? You're okay now, little one..." You said, gently setting the kitten down. It looked a bit more refreshed now. You then brought out some food, carefully placing it near the tiny creature.

The warmth in your actions contrasted sharply with the coldness you'd shown him recently. The more he stared at you, the more his heart began to race, each beat louder than the last. He noticed the same habit you both shared, carrying cat food wherever you went. How could he have forgotten about that?

It was just like the day you met him.

You were helping a cat that had fallen into a sewer when Minho found you. He thought you were weird, which is why he called you an idiot. Despite that, he helped you rescue the cat. That shared moment had been the start of your friendship, and now, seeing you like this, he couldn’t help but feel a pang in his heart.

Maybe, Han was right.

"It's like the first time we've met..." He mumbled softly, just loud enough for you to hear.

"Yeah... It does." You replied, a small smile forming on your lips. The memory of that day flooded back, bringing with it a bittersweet feeling.

You bit your lip, feeling the weight of your emotions. With a trembling sigh, you looked up at him, your heart heavy with the realization of the truth you'd been trying to avoid.

"Minho." You started, your voice breaking. "I think... I think we shouldn't be friends anymore."

The words fell from your lips like a heavy, painful blow, and you could see Minho's world crumble in his eyes. As you turned to walk away, each step felt like a dagger to the heart. The light of your presence, once so vibrant, began to fade, leaving behind a suffocating coldness. 

Minho felt the warmth of your presence slipping through his fingers, replaced by an overwhelming chill that engulfed his heart.

"Is he okay?" Chan asked, peering through the door, the rest of the members trailing behind him. They all shook their heads, unsure. Chan sighed and approached Minho's side.

"Man. Listen, I don't know what's up, but you can't keep going like this. We've got stuff to do, and you're not doing anyone any favors by shutting us out. Just talk to us, okay?"

Minho took a deep breath, his voice trembling. "It's her... It's true what Han said, I really love her. Ugh, I didn't understand it at first, but now I see it clearly..."

Chan's expression softened as he listened to Minho's confession. "Then why don't you confess your feelings?" He asked gently. "You have a lifetime chance to win her heart, but that chance could slip away if you let your fears or ego get in the way. You need to be honest with her. It's the only way to find out if there's a future for you two."

Just as Chan's words echoed in his mind, a surge of clarity jolted through Minho. It wasn't too late to confess. He knew, deep down, that you were the only one he truly wanted. The thought of losing you forever was unbearable.

"Also, have you heard the dating rumors about you? That's probably what hurt her. If I'm right, those rumors have been spreading for at least a month—"

"Are you kidding me? A month?!" Minho's voice was a mix of anger and disbelief.

The realization hit him hard. The pain you must have felt—he now felt it deeply in his own heart. It was as if his chest was tightening, making it difficult to breathe. The weight of the rumors and the distance between you both crushed him.

Without thinking, Minho bolted from the room, his heart pounding fiercely in his chest. Never in his life had he felt such fear of loss. The moment you walked away had already broken him, but the idea of losing you forever felt like it would destroy him completely.

When he arrived at your apartment, he noticed the door was slightly ajar. Doubt and worry gripped him.

Why would you leave the door open or unlocked at night?

He hesitated for a moment, his heart pounding as he pushed the door open slowly.

"Y/n?"

When you didn't respond, he stepped inside more fully, the fear gripping him tightening around his chest. His eyes scanned the room frantically before landing on you.

Minho's heart ached at the sight: you were slumped over your desk, surrounded by scattered books and papers. Your exhaustion was palpable; dark circles shadowed your eyes, and your usually vibrant face looked pale and drawn.

Minho gently touched your shoulder, causing you to stir awake. When you fully came to, you were startled to find Minho's face so close to yours.

"Minho? What are you doing—"

Minho cut you off tenderly, his fingers brushing against your cheek with a warmth that felt both comforting and electrifying. You could see his eyes welling up with tears, his voice catching in his throat. The sight of him so broken and vulnerable was almost too much to bear.

"Y/n..." Minho's voice trembled, breaking through the heavy silence.

"I never imagined I'd find someone who could touch my heart like this. But the moment I knew I loved you was when I r-realized how empty my life would be without you. You're everything I've ever wanted and more..."

As Minho's heartfelt confession filled the room, you listened intently, your once-dull eyes beginning to sparkle with emotion. The weight of his words resonated deeply within you, and you could feel your own heartbeat quickening with every beat.

"When you left, the chill that settled in my heart made me understand just how much you were the fire that warmed my soul." Hearing these words, you could barely hold back the tears that threatened to spill. The relief you felt was overwhelming, as if the weight of unspoken feelings was finally lifted from your chest.

"Minho... You've no idea how much I needed to hear this. I've felt so lost, but now, hearing you, it feels like everything is falling into place." Minho gently cupped your face, his touch both tender and reassuring.

"My heart feels like it's been set ablaze." Minho pulled you closer.

As his lips met yours, the world seemed to melt away, leaving just the two of you in a tender, passionate moment. You gently placed your hands on his neck, fingers lightly brushing through his hair.

The warmth of his body pressed against yours, combined with the sweet pressure of his lips, sent a thrill through you, igniting a fire that mirrored the one he had described.

As you pulled away, breathless and flushed, your eyes locked with his. A soft smile blossomed on both your lips, and your noses brushed together in a delicate, shared moment.

"Then let me be the breeze that fans your flames, ensuring our fire burns bright." 

[purpdrawsthings]

I SWEAR THIS IS THE FINAL ONE

God this app is going to be the end of me.

For anyone asking where their oc was, don't be afraid to ask me! =3

@ominus-potato @h4ppysoki @fenicearts420 @icedbeverageenjoyer @alex-dolmatescu2-0 @zenith-astral @moonlight12086 @sakuwura-meow-meow @josiekatxd @echostarsys @neo91502 @smgx-pez

Special mentions!

@birdy-four @scimagic @fruit-sy

Links to the two past posts!

First

Second

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE DAMN ANIMATIC CUZ I NEED TO.

Finally.. With that settled..

Was this worth it? Idfk.

I am so burnt out..

This thing was made in both Flipaclip and Alight motion. Give all the thanks to my fingers and thumb chat 💜💜💜💜

Now this thing was originally supposed to premier on the 31st right at new years. Problem was, IT HAD 2K+ FRAMES AND I STARTED AT THE 21ST. WORSE, I DECIDED THAT IT WAS THE AMAZING DECISION TO ADD 85 PEOPLE AND DID NOT PLAN THIS. This thing has got me doubting myself, I think I almost went crazy.

I did 500 frames for the first day then 200.. Then 100... THEN LESS THAN 100. By the 31st, new years had past. Meaning it was outdated. Might as well finish it right? I took a break for almost week before going back at the project thinking "WHAT AM I DOING??". I finished by yesterday and uh.. I did like 500+ frames from yesterday cuz I was that desperate to get rid of my misery. I edited the thing today and everything was ready right?

WRONG.

I HAD TO DEAL WITH THE PROBLEM OF ME ADDING THE 4 MINUTE ANIMATION IN THE POST, WAITING FOR IT TO SAVE, ONLY FOR IT TO REJECT ME. This went on for a total of 3 hours with me just WAITING for it to let it save while I watched videos from my tv. Eventually, I gave up and decided to split the video.

Thought that was end? NO. I REALIZED THAT I COULDN'T PUT 2 VIDEOS IN ONE POST, NOR CAN I ADD MORE THAN 50 MENTIONS IN ONE POST. These past few hours was stressful my god. Finally seeing it end was a relief.

I am NOT doing this again.

Anyways, with that outta the way.. I'll get on with my uh.. Statement for Christmas!

Thank you for everyone for an amazing and awesome year. It's been a wonderful one and I cant express the amount of gratitude and love to each every person I've met this year. Even if it was for a short while, I still enjoyed every moment.

I can't believe that joining one fandom would get me this far, it blows my mind because of how many connections I've able to make because of this one fandom. I give my highest gratitude to the SMG4 community, and the amazing people who are in it.

I started my early days in this internet in amino. Although small, it let me explore new stuff and new people. And to that, ill say a thank you to all of my among us friends, and the community itself. This whole fandom inspired me to make my own series, create my own ocs from scratch, and slowly grow. Although during that period I didn't get the amount of attention I have now, it was a great, small place to start off as a small creator.

Back to the SMG4 community, I would like to say thank you for 200+ followers on both Tumblr and Twitter! Old me would've exploded so many times because of that milestone. I can't believe I have so many people I look up to that actually follow me, like what you guys actually notice me?! I'd like to say so much more but it just really flabbergasted me of how far I've gotten. I can't even think of the words or anything! All I can say is thank you for the experiences I've had. All of this couldn't have been done without you.

It's time for some little statements for all the people I adore.

@tiredsmashbros @strange0-0storm @its-a-me-mango @cookiepopcat - Omg I see y'all as the big artists of the community sishsishishdid interacting with every single one of you was a pleasure and it was amazing! I don't usually interact with people I admired or looked up to due to me being a bit shy.. But y'all are so amazing! Everytime any one of you would reply to my posts, I get a huge squeel! I was getting noticed like help??? You guys are like one the first few artists that I saw when starting in the community, you guys can't imagine how much of an inspiration you all are to me, and for that, thank you for everything, big or small! 💜💜💜

@rr3d2y @mikchi8 - AKO AND MIKCHI YOU TWO SILLY PPL GUHHHHHHH. First off, AKO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! YOU'RE LITERALLY MY FIRST SMG4 RELATED FREN!! I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THAT OUR FIRST INTERACTION QUICKLY JUST MADE US FRIENDS LIKE, YOU SO COOL??? AND MIKCHI, ALTHOUGH WE DON'T INTERACT OFTEN, I FIND YOU SILLY, AND GOOFY. STOP PUTTING PREGNANT EMOJIS GUHHHH!!!! /silly You two are so silly sihsisgdishsishdidg love you two 💜💜💜💥💥💥💥

@coralalala64 @bear-boi-5 @libbytwq - You three are also silly like what. SOYYYYYYY I fucking love ur artstyle it's so recognizable.. I LOVE UR VIRAL VIRUS AU!!! I swear I look at EVERY SINGLE POST relating to the AU like I AIN'T JOKING I READ ALL OF THEM YES THAT'S WHAT I DO IN MY FREE TIME. The way you incorporate horror into your drawings is amazing, IT JUST WORKS! Coral you goof stop spreading the creachurs everywhere now my place stinks... /silly anyways, YOUR TRADITIONAL ARTSTYLE IS AMAZING! I FIRST SAW YOU THROUGH YOUR SILLY CREACHUR DOODLES AND I LOVED THEM!! TALKING TO YOU IS ALSO AMAZING CUZ YOU SO FUNNY! Somebody kick Ignatius away from SMGL:E /silly LORE YOU SO COOL!!!! THE THINGS YOU ARE WORKING ON WITH L:E ARE SO INTERESTING PLEASE DO KEEP ON COOKING I WILL EAT IT. I swear to god I don't know I how this all happened but I swear you three are cool af. 💥💥💥💥✨✨✨✨

@michealscorneroftheinternet @grinnames - WHERE TO FUCKING START... Micheal, I. Love. Your. AU's. SHOUTOUT TO @dorriostareyes TOO CUZ YOU COOL! I SHOULD'VE ADDED YOU IN THE SPECIAL MENTIONS GUHHHHHHH I'M SORRY!!!!! Continuing.. I LOVE YOUR THREE AU'S, UNDERTALE AU? AMAZING. CHANGE IN SCRIPT? ABSOLUTE CINEMA. THE FALLEN? AN ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECE!!!! You can't imagine how much I love your content... I won't stop making fanart for you so that I'll actually explode your circuits =3 /silly /hj GRINNAMES I LOVE YOUR GODBOX AU. LIKE I LOVE ME TWO CORRUPTED SMG'S CONTROLLED BY THE GODBOX 💜💜💜 They are so silly like they could on a killing spree.. OH ALSO UR ARTSTYLE IS VERY VERY PRETTY. I LOVE IT! You two have amazing AU'S like god aishoahsoshsoshsohsosh💥💥💥💥💥💥

@icedbeverageenjoyer @h4ppysoki @jovialoddity @bidinonsense @fbanjex @4thwallbreakerdraws2 - do they all have in common? MR PUZZLES! Every time I see yalls Puzzles content I have a smile on my face that I can't describe cuz yalls Puzzles content is so peak, I LOVE ME SOME SILLY HANDSOME TV MEN CONTENT THANK YOU!!!!! Oh btw @alex-dolmatescu2-0 don't worry you're invited to the club too don't be shy 💜💜💜

@eliscz @opossol @theartistisme43 - YOU ALL SO COOL LIKE SOSHSIDHDODHOSHDODHD. Opposol I know you aren't involved in the SMG4 community much but I love ur content it's just so amazing and I love the cartoons kinda fuzzy art style. Elis also know you're in your sun n' moon hyper fixation phase but broadcast madness au is PEAK. Cantro I love your scarred verse like it a so interesting I love scarred SMG4 sm. Someone beat up that tv man 😔💥💥💥 /silly

@art-parasi-te @superluigiglitchy - You two are amazing people! Hamlos you should know by now that I am actually kinda into Dandys World and I even have my own oc so.. IDFK WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT WHAT AM I SPITTING??? Squib yaoi gotta be my fav ship 💜 PJ! I love ur silly Oliver squib yaoi content like HE IS SO CUTE SOMEBODY MAKE A MARKETABLE PLUSHIE OUT OF HIM!! So yeah you two so coollllllll ✨✨✨✨✨

This animatic was made to express my gratitude and love to every single on fo the people in this community, featured or not, you are all awesome. Hopefully this will get some smaller creators the attention they deserve 💜

Big or small, we all can achieve out dreams, next year ;)

Merry Christmas / holidays everyone 💜

I am so not okay chat

[wisyhana]

Destructionshipping Monster Tamer AU

So here are some of the drawings from this AU and a little summary of what is about and how is the story going (it's still a work in process so I'd probably change a few details in the future):

It's basically about Yugi (half elf), Jonou (human), Seto (elf) and Atem (human) as beast tamers all set in a fantasy world. Each of them protects their own region, they're in charge to prevent any monster from disturbing the life of people. They're not hunters, they work to take those beasts and return them back to their lands. Sometimes they keep some beasts as pets (Jonou), partners (Yugi and Atem), even trophies (Seto) 

All starts when Seto shares some information about the movement of a peculiar dragon, one of its kind that had entered Yugi's territory. No beast tamer want to deal with that dragon since it's known for its destructive power. All the tales talk about Gandora being a powerful type of dragon that even managed to bring itself to extintion, a single of its kind is enough to be considered a problem. So having the last Gandora wandering around is enought to concern a whole region.  Seto only cares about its region and doesn't want to get involve, especially when is about a dragon that can instantly kill/destroy everything, so he only 'wishes luck' to Yugi and see if he can survive Gandora's visit. Jonou feels uncapable of helping but encourage Yugi to find a way to lead Gandora out. Of course Yugi is very curious about this dragon and wants to find out more of em.   

Yugi here moves more around his own curiosity more than other thing, as the games in Duel Monster, he can't reject a new game as he can't reject a lone dragon. He investigates and travels to where Gandora is staying: a really dark and dried base of a volcano. It takes a lot for Yugi to find Gandora, he has to go through caves and burnt forests to find the lair of the dragon, who apparently is very awared of Yugi's presence. Gandora tries to kill Yugi MANY times, but Yugi always manage to escape and come back later to study em and find a way to win his trust. Yugi speaks to Gandora noticing that the dragon is capable of understand more than other dragons he knew.

Since Yugi's way too into studying Gandora's behavior he kinda let his region a little aside, so things don't go so well since he's so invested in 'his quest' as Yugi constantly talks about the dragon. Also Gandora doesn't just chill and relax, he slowly destroys the forest that goes around the volcano he's living in, causing monsters to leave and invade human territory. This concerns Jonou (and Seto as well but he's a bitch) and they try to persuade Yugi to shoo Gandora away in some way and protect his land as he should. But big hearted Yugi wants to know what makes Gandora so angry. Eventually Jonou sends a message to Atem and consults him for support.  Atem is a peacemaker and he belongs to no land, he's a traveller that helps people and monsters to keep at peace. He visit the guys in time to time but not really often.

Yugi tries to confront Gandora in some way, almost dying in the process, but he can't calm down Gandora. The boy finds himself failing to his quest, which makes him burst into tears apologizing to Gandora for not being able to help him. In all this time Gandora just acts as a furious beast, but somehow understands when Yugi apologize to him. 

There's no much time to talk when Yugi notices that Atem shows up, he sees Yugi badly wounded and decides is time to take action. Of course Yugi doesn't want him to interfer, but Atem is more concern about him than peace between them. Also Atem kinda scolds Yugi for prioritizing a giant dragon than his own people. So Atem calls for Osiris that's enough to intimidate every beast, but Gandora is stupid and even tries to fight them back. Yugi begs Gandora to leave and this one finally listens to him and flee. Yugi isnt necessarily angry at Atem but his words sure hurt him and there was no more Gandora.... for the moment.

So that's all for now, I'm looking forward to turn Atem into an anti-villain type of character, I like a lot the idea of Yugi and Atem finding themselves disagreeing for the first time and seeing them defending their own ideals. 

Of course all resolves around Gandora finally trusting in Yugi, but it'll take me a few more drawings to explain it! 

[haliteatiger]

Happy Werewolf Wednesday, ya'll! We're serving up a big pot of tea tonight so get those cups ready!

Special thanks to Blackbackedjackal and King for their help in putting this together, editing, and especially to Jackal for being so supportive and encouraging. I'm very much not normally the type to do call-out posts, but people need to be aware of Dogblud, as she has hurt, not only myself, but quite a few others as well, and seems to have somehow gotten away with behaving like this for 20-odd years. I'm of the mind she shouldn't be allowed to do so any more, hence this post.

TL;DR - Beware of Dogblud, aka Ashryn, aka DogofBlud, aka ThatDogMagic. Very, very long post under the cut.

With everything happening with DogBlud and Blackbackedjackal's studio, I felt emboldened to come forward with my own experiences with her. This is something I've been carrying around since it happened roughly 2 years ago. It was one of the main reasons that put me off drawing werewolves, my own characters, or engaging any more in the fandom. I've hinted at it a few times but I've never had the energy to come forward and deal with the fall out. I wanted to move on with the rest of my life because IRL was more important than online drama. And I knew her behavior would come back to bite her sooner or later, regardless of what I did. 

It's been very validating to see that I was right.

It was around the time that Blud and I became friends that I was feeling a bit burnt out on werewolves. I'd been trying to pull together my own werewolf-related project for something close to 12 years. The past 4 years had also been pretty draining on me creatively and socially, as it had for a lot of artists with regards to the pandemic. I also had some IRL things I was dealing with: mainly with my marriage and transitioning between medications to manage my anxiety + bipolar.

Unfortunately, I didn't have the foresight to screenshot everything at the time. I do have logs from back when we roleplayed together. There are several conversations in them but because they were saved as text documents, they're pretty dubious in terms of solid evidence. 

It would have been better if I had taken screenshots as it was happening, rather than just saving the logs. With what I *do* have, however, I feel as though it may be enough to make the point that I'm trying to make, and to exhibit how horrible things got.

I'll provide some context.

I had talked with Blud on and off over the years, and we had always gotten along. We had a lot in common and after we had started talking more, our friendship eventually grew into a collaborative project. We were going to combine our stories and write a comic based on it. We had a lot of discussions on how Blud was reticent to do this in the beginning and how she wanted a contract to be made up so that in the event that something *did* happen, we could both walk away feeling like it was handled fairly.

Honestly, I should have listened to the first alarm that went off in my brain, when, in an act of ominous foreboding she said something along the lines of don't be so sure, it could happen. It was in response to me being like "we're getting along so well and share so much of a bond right now. I can't fathom that being a problem!" 

The contract never materialized. It was something we had decided to do *after* we had put together something of a prototype project to see how well we worked together. It made complete sense to me at the time as we were both eager to focus on the fun parts of writing and drawing together.

It was decided that I would be the lead artist (doing coloring and final lines) while Blud would do everything else (which was inking, layouts, and the majority of the writing). The both of us felt that she had more experience in those areas. I also believed that she had a better knack for it as well. I had felt that she had a better understanding of story structure than myself. And I thought that Blud had felt the same way about my art. That I had the experience to take point on that. 

Since I had collaborated with other artists and writers before, I attempted to approach the project with the same sort of professionalism I always do. Especially the projects that I genuinely thought stood a chance of being published in the future. We had started out trying to get a feel for each other's flows and rhythms. I had expected Blud to try and meet me in the middle of where our processes would potentially differ from one another, so that we could develop a fairly smooth workflow.

I had also expected, according to our discussions on the matter, that we would value each other's opinions on things and take them into consideration. We had such good synchronicity already.

In the beginning, there wasn't any unusual behavior that caught my attention. Blud was a bit uncomfortable with trying out new things but I did my best to accommodate her so that our project could move forward without too much turbulence. She had also mentioned to me before that she was autistic, and since my husband is also autistic, I knew how difficult it could be when it came to adapting to new routines. But when it was time for her to deliver the first set of layouts, it wasn't at all what I expected.

What I had expected was something with margins, clearly marked boxes, and figures that I could do rough lines over. I also expected notes that confirmed what we had discussed earlier about the project; that way I knew what she wanted or if there would be any changes. She took offense to this, feeling like I was violating our agreement. Though Blud did try to give me space with regards to the actual art, and while she would offer criticisms here and there, I trusted her opinion as an artist and as a friend. But apparently that didn't go both ways. In fact, Blud seemed to be offended that I expected more from her.

Blud agreed to concede. She suddenly seemed fine with the changes that I had asked for after seeing the layouts. I guess she was feeling overstimulated by the change and I might have been applying too much of a critical tone to her responses to begin with. I have had to deal with rejection sensitivity throughout my life and it's certainly prompted me to approach what people say to me online with a bit of scrutiny (sometimes too much).

And while I was mildly annoyed, although admittedly I was more concerned with Blud's overall reaction to my asking for clarification about several things in the layouts, I let it go. But it seemed like there was a problem. The majority of my ideas were either rejected or outright overridden with Blud convincing me that my faulty memory had made me unable to remember what we had agreed upon. Or that I might have been misremembering in my own favor.

There was one time where we were discussing a monster's design. Blud had already decided to settle on one design that she had come up with, even as I continued to offer other suggestions. The story was to take place in my setting, so I was under the impression that I got to decide what kind of creatures should populate it. The conversation ended somewhat ambiguously. I had assumed that we'd come to a solid conclusion later. 

I came back the next day and it turned out that we were using her design because that was what we had decided on. "Don't you remember? You really need to do something about that faulty memory of yours, Tek. I can't be doing this for you all the time."

At which point, Blud would go back and meticulously scour the conversation until she managed to find a set of lines that would make it seem as though I had 100% agreed. Even when I tried to explain that I had meant something else, she took it as an affront on her inability to understand nuances due to her autism.

I admit that my memory isn't that greatest at times, but I've never had anyone complain about it before. And none of my friends have ever minded providing reminders to me if I did misremember something incorrectly. We all forget stuff at times, right? It's *still* something that I'm self-conscious about because (like a lot of people with ADHD) my memory seems selective at times. This was, apparently, a problem that I needed to manage. 

And even as I'm remembering these incidents to the best of my ability, I've already spent so much time recounting all of this to friends. I feel confident in my recollection. There are some details that may overlap or become entwined with other things, but it all basically tells the same story. Especially in conjunction with what's been said by others. You're free to take it as hearsay since I do not have screenshots to back this up.

I will mention (since I've been told it's something that Blud has taken particular interest in) that at one point, I did have a crush on her. I was having some problems IRL, and it was nice to have someone whom I felt actually understood me. I also felt like I saw a lot of myself in her. I think that, at one point, I did describe her as the kind of "girlfriend" I would want. Blud seemed to indicate the feeling was mutual.

Between our collaborative partnership and all of the details we shared about our lives, it did feel like an intimate relationship at times. I had no intentions of pursuing it. We were not compatible in our romantic and sexual identities, and I had no intention of leaving my current partner for her.

I had begun to notice red flags, even if I wasn't ready to accept them yet.

I've had experience with abusive relationships in the past but they were in person, and not online. I knew what to look out for and yet I was being willfully ignorant about our friendship. I wanted to give Blud the benefit of the doubt. I wanted the project to work *so* badly that I was willing to work with her increasing demands as the months went by.

I had no idea that those demands would change into, quite literal, temper tantrums. It would then trigger my fawning response which was due to an abusive family situation that I had dealt with before I moved to Canada. The tactic was this: concede to someone until there was a time that they either understood reason or I had the chance to use it against them if necessary.

I started to take screenshots. I wish that I had taken a lot more of them so that everyone could get a better idea of what was happening. I did go back and manage to record the majority of the first outburst. It was the first inkling I had that Blud wasn't playing with a full deck of cards. I knew that that would be one of the first conversations that she would promptly delete. And consequently, I was right.

This assortment of screenshots will exhibit the first serious confrontation that Blud had with me. I am absolutely *not* proud of how I handled this. I was literally panicking at the time and doing whatever I could to get her to calm down. Because I have a temper that can look similar to this in person, I knew that I had to wait until the post-tantrum clarity would hit Blud. I tried my best to not lose my own temper in turn but looking back, I feel that I came off as sounding too timid.

I didn't want to ruin this project.

I wanted to make a comic with an individual that I admired and respected as a fellow artist. And, with me not knowing how to respond, my main priority was to not make things any worse than they already were.

Below is the conversation in its entirety:

I had taken this screenshot on my phone after I had stepped away to compose myself. Blud had handled the confrontation and criticism with a reasonable amount of apprehension. But what had not occurred to me was that I could have said something that would remind her of past experiences with a roleplaying group.

It was something that had evidently scarred Blud for life.

I took away the wrong things from what she had told me, choosing to focus on the aspects of the "betrayal" that had appeared to bother her the most. And in hindsight, I did not see the correlation. I was genuinely apologetic that I had hurt her feelings.

But I *will* critique Blud for her poor handling of the situation. Whether or not I had hurt her feelings, no one is entitled to act like this or claim that this is what attempting to resolve a problem should look like.

I wasn't sure on how to initially respond to Blud. It had been ages since I'd had to deal with someone flying off the handle like that.

The following screenshots are where the conversation picked up, after she had already deleted the above message:

We had weathered the "storm" and after Blud calmed down, she was ready to communicate. There was a part of me that was genuinely sincere when I apologized to her. I did mean it when I said that I had no intentions of hurting her and that I hadn't considered how my statement would sound to her.

I had hoped that this had been a stress response due to factors outside of our collaboration. And especially when I took into account how she had interacted with me in the past. I knew that Blud had a lot going on IRL, and that she had already put a considerable amount of energy into this project.

I had taken her meltdown more personally than she could perceive that I would, because this was something that was acceptable to her. She had a "condition" that would absolve her of these abhorrent meltdowns and I needed to get used to them if we were going to continue working on that project together.

I was shaking the entire time we were typing in the chat.

I was sincere in my responses. I really did want to work things out with Blud and give her the benefit of the doubt. I could have been taking the things that she said too personally or maybe I had been reading too much into the situation. Was there a chance that I could have been misreading her outburst? I tried my best to keep an open mind though I was still somewhat baffled by the fact that she would have meltdowns as often as she did.

I confided in my husband and some other friends about the situation. They were also bewildered by Blud's actions.

By this point, I was struggling with the reality that this collaboration was most likely *not* going to work out but I still wanted to try. I still cared about Blud. We would still hang out together and talk about things like music, our characters, or our stories.

While I did have the foresight to go back and screenshot this section, I wasn't fast enough to get screenshots of everything else that I will be going over. Blud *did* admit to going back and deleting certain exchanges due to a mixture of shame; not wanting to look at them when she would scroll through our conversations. 

In retrospect, it was very telling.

And even after that meltdown, I still enjoyed the friendship that I had with her. I kept my guard up but I was willing to make compromises on her behalf if it resulted in better communication between the two of us. Blud made me promise to immediately tell her if I had a problem with something. I also agreed to keep notes of our conversations.

It worked for the most part.

In the end though, it became apparent that Blud wasn't willing to do the same for me (even after we had an extended conversation about it). I then realized that I had been tasked with basically *managing* her autism for her. I was already busy with my supposedly "bad memory" at the time; and Blud was more than ready to scroll back up through our conversations to cherry-pick a line or two of text to remind me of what was said earlier.

Because, for her, circumstances couldn't ever change. If they did, it would mean that Blud had lost control of the situation and that she was in the wrong. She could *not* be in the wrong. 

And if she was in the wrong? It would take solid evidence, three witnesses, and a court of law to prove it.

She had two other major meltdowns after this. I managed to step away from communicating with her through one of them and I don't remember the other meltdown lasting very long. She immediately deleted the texts of both of those instances before I could take screenshots of them.

It seemed like I could do nothing right when it came to Blud, no matter the lengths I would go to accommodate her. I knew that it was a common tactic used by abusers. I finally accepted that our partnership wasn't going to work out and I began thinking about an exit strategy. The final straw was when she began to expect me to be at her beck and call.

I had promised that I would be there for her, within reason, and I was willing to offer reassurances whenever she would ask me for them. The promise had been made back when we had first started to talk to one another with more frequency, before Blud had shown me her true colors. I would end up completely underestimating just how badly she would need reassurance.

To be frank, I underestimated a lot about Blud in the beginning.

I would end up mentioning that I enjoyed my space in several different conversations with her. That there was a chance that I might be offline for several days so I could take care of things IRL and recharge my social batteries. I'm somewhat of a recluse. And an adult who enjoys things that aren't online.

She said that it was fine.

I became incredibly anxious when I would talk to Blud, especially after her somewhat abrupt change in personality.

I then attempted to put my foot down about boundaries and this is what she had to say:

I decided to walk away for a bit and I came back after I had had some time to think things over. This wasn't healthy for either of us. I wrote a couple of sentences to say goodbye to Blud before I blocked her. I knew that my actions would probably infuriate her. She had told me in the past that she *hated* not being able to have the final word... which she was able to do through email:

“And I'm not letting you pretend you have control over the situation, or the high ground. You distinctly have neither. But since you're determined to stick to your 'principles' on this, I've decided to make it easier for you.”

She thought that she was absolved of all sins just because I had said that I would stand by her at her worst. And at the time that I said that, I had no idea that her worst would be her trying everything possible to protect her boundaries while stomping all over mine. It didn't matter what she said or how often she would apologize when I would confront her. She kept doing it.

I admit that I wasn't perfect in this situation either.

There were times when I was condescending, critical, or downright mean when I talked to Blud because that was the way I had felt when she was talking to me. I soon realized that it didn't matter either way. I could have been using the friendliest tone imaginable and she still would have perceived it as either mocking or dismissive on my end. There were even a few times where I would preface my explanations with an advisory “please know that I am not attacking you and try to read this in an understanding tone,”etc. I would then post an explanation I had spent hours picking at to ensure that there was no way she could misinterpret the intent. Even so, she still read the majority of what I said as criticism and would take it to heart.

I never expected Blud to do something that made her uncomfortable; nor did I expect her to overextend herself when it came to our project. I would go out of my way to make sure everything was fine when we would talk about it. I only expected mutual respect in return.

When we would get into discussions (arguments), she would never attempt to understand my point of view or let me explain myself. It would have made it about me when it should have been about Blud and her needs. She sometimes would agree to come to a compromise about something, but only if I would admit that I was in the wrong.

I know that if Blud was to look at these screenshots, she'd be incredulous that I'm trying to distract from the horrible things that *I* did. And those horrible things that I did? I tried my best to work with her.

It wasn't just her poor teamwork that bothered me. It was her attitude and the lack of respect that she showed me. She would never ask me to clarify something that I said; always assuming that it was a criticism against her. I can only speculate that Blud did not want to hear about how any of this was her fault, like in the email she sent me.

I don't know if I was actually her friend at any point. Friends make efforts to understand one another. Ideally, they’d want their friendships to continue, and they would want everyone to be getting along and having fun. She seemed to actively defy that.

I would argue that things like this don't just happen in a vacuum. There's almost always a reason for such things, but it's honestly a mystery to me as to where this vitriol comes from. I don't know why Blud sees monsters in every word, especially if they come from a  "friend". 

I've seen her viscously mock herself during meltdowns; it seems like she hates herself and expects everyone else to hate her too. I think that she wants it to be the truth, so that it validates the feelings she has about herself. The behavior patterns that I'd been exposed to are consistent with the idea that Blud is seeking confirmation about the personal assumptions she has about herself. It's what makes her so volatile to those around her. Yet, she refuses to break the cycle.

I hope that she can make that choice in the future but at this point, I'm not holding my breath.

[blackbleedingrose]

Long Lost Morningstar - Part Four

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Pairing(s): Seven Virtues' x reader (platonic), Charlie x reader (platonic), Lucifer x reader (platonic), Lilith x reader (platonic)

Genre: Angst/Betrayal

Warning(s): Cursing, lies, betrayal

Notes: FINALLY! I'm sorry this took me forever to post. I was, and still am, dealing with some school stuff. Truthfully it was a little rough trying to get this one out - along with school and work, I am losing motivation to write this. It could be that I burnt myself on Hazbin after reading so many fanfics for days on end until I eventually got tired. I'm still going to be writing this either way, I'd feel bad to suddenly stop out of nowhere. Funny thing is I'll probably feel motivated again once the second season airs. Oh, well. I'll post part five when I can and am able, so please bare with me and hopefully enjoy this long part for the time being. Thank you for your support - I'm really writing this for the ones reading this series and am grateful for your patience.

Words: 3,298

"I-Is that. . . my name? W-Why would my name be in Lucifer's court record?".

After learning about the exterminations (Y/N) wasted no time flying to the archangels' castle - her home.

She needed to know if they knew about the exterminations, and if so. . .

No, there's no way.

The Virtues' duty were to help remain peace and order - there's no way they'd be okay with the murdering of sinners.

Still, the fear and pain she felt for Charlie and Sera's betrayal made her impulsive.

So much so, that she flew past the archangels' secretary and burst through the doors of the meeting room where they were discussing important matters.

The archangel's were shocked to see (Y/N), who had just interrupted their meeting, looking completely disheveled and breathing heavily.

This behavior would normally be unacceptable, and if it were any other seraphim or angel they would be scolded and punished depending on severity of the offense.

But this was their little (Y/N), whose never interrupted their meetings without reason (or when she was a curious infant who somehow wandered in).

Michael stood up from his seat and flew over to his distressed daughter, "(Y/n). What's the matter?".

(Y/n) struggled to catch her breath, her mind and heart racing.

Michael placed his hands on her shoulders, "Deep breathes, sweetheart. Try to calm down". He gently cooed at her trying to help her find her breath and calm her nerves.

When (Y/N) had finally caught her breath she looked up at her father staring right into his eyes, "Did you know?".

Michael furrowed his brows confused, "Know what, sweetheart?".

(Y/N) took a deep breath before looking at him with sorrowful eyes, "About the exterminations."

Michael and the other archangels' were even more confused than before, "What exterminations?".

"The exterminations of the human souls in Hell."

The archangels' eyes widened in shock and disbelief. Michael looked down at his daughter with slight sternness, "What do you mean?".

(Y/N) went on to tell them all about what had happened at the trial from Charlie's hotel, Angel Dust, Sera's betrayal, to Adam's threat towards her cousin.

To say the archangels' were pissed would be a gross understatement.

How dare Sera and Adam play God and order such an atrocity right under their noses - and for it to be going on this long!

They were embarrassed to have been so ignorant.

Michael felt very uneasy about (Y/N)'s interaction with the Princess of Hell.

Yes, he had been aware his brother had birthed a child in Hell and hadn't seen an issue of (Y/n) of knowing as he was confident the two would never meet.

Well, that back fired horribly.

He couldn't discuss that with (Y/N) right now because, other than letting curiosity get the better of her once again, she hadn't done anything wrong.

She was clearly out of sorts with worry. She didn't need anything else but reassurance and comfort.

"Thank you for telling us. Don't worry, we'll be sure to handle this," Michael said trying to comfort his daughter.

"B-But, Charlie," (Y/N)'s breathing spiked, "A-Adam threatened t-to, to!". Tears flowed down to her red cheeks, her eyes red and puffy.

Michael gently shushed her wiping her tears, "Calm down, sweetie. We'll handle everything, especially Adam. Just go to your room and try to relax. I'll tell the staff to get you some tea."

(Y/N) shook her head, "B-But I need to help Charlie. I-I need to do something -,"

"No." Michael's tone was stern but gentle. "This is for the higher ranking angels to handle and you're too emotional right now to think clearly. Let us take care of this."

"Listen to your father, (N/N)." Azrael said his grin more menacing than usual. "And don't fret over Adam, we'll make sure to deal with him personally."

The other archangels' agreed without question. Adam wouldn't get away with making their precious niece cry.

(Y/N) realized her father was right, she was too emotional right now.

She was in no condition to deal with this as she was.

After saying goodbye to her family, (Y/N) went to her room to try and calm down.

Feeling completely exhausted and emotionally drained, (Y/N) passed out the second her head hit her pillow.

The next day (Y/N) woke up later than usual and saw a note on her beside table.

It was from her father telling her not to worry about her duties that day and to just rest.

(Y/N) was grateful to her father, but she was so restless about the trial and the upcoming extermination.

She got ready for the day and went down into the courts archives.

Maybe there was something she could use in the courts records to help Charlie.

Since she was a stenographer, a seraphim, and Michael's daughter no one questioned her being there.

In fact, many of the simps angels there were more than happy to help her.

(Y/N) declined most of their help, not wanting to garner unnecessary attention to what she was looking for or why.

She continued doing this for days making sure to cover her tracks so her father and uncles didn't catch wind of her little excursions.

Which was why most of them were in the dead of night.

She hadn't heard a word of what her father or uncles' were going to do about the exterminations.

But the times she's seen Adam and Lute, the two were still their cocky and douchey selves.

So, she knew the extermination was still on.

Why?

Why haven't the archangels' done anything yet?

What were they waiting for?

A small part of her wondered if they ended up agreeing with Sera and Adam and wanted to keep the exterminations on, but she quickly pushed those thoughts aside.

The archangels' duty was to follow the laws of Heaven, and the exterminations clearly went against that.

There's no way they'd be okay with keeping it going.

Still. . . they weren't working fast enough.

The month was almost over.

So, she continued researching wanting to find anything that would prove Sera and Adam wrong about Hell and prove Charlie's hotel worked or could work.

One night while everyone had turned in, (Y/N) snuck into the ancient archives - court records that dated over billions of years ago.

Maybe there was something in the older court records she could use.

She spent hours going through file after file, pulling out possible references to use, and making piles based on the dates.

The long hours started to get to her, the bags under her eyes more prominent with each passing minute.

Without realizing, her eyes lids shut and she slowly drifted to the side accidently knocking over a large pile she hadn't checked yet.

*THUD*

The sound of the falling files scared her awake.

"Oh shit!"

(Y/N) rubbed her eyes awake before going over to the scattered files. She really hoped no one had heard that thud.

As she was gathering all of the loose documents, there was one file folder that caught her eye. Labeled on the tab was 'Morningstar vs Heaven'.

Morningstar? That was Charlie's last name but this file was in one of the older court piles meaning this file was about -

"Lucifer. . .".

She's never read her uncle's trial record before. . . but if he was anything like Charlie then maybe there was something in those documents that could help her prove her cousin's dreams and beliefs.

After all, it was because of Lucifer's desire and dreams to show humanity free will that gifted humans the ability to dream and choose to be better.

She knew her father would frown at her view on Lucifer, but she had always thought there might have been some merit behind her uncle's choices.

She started to collect the documents, sometimes glancing over certain parts that caught her attention. However, as she was going through the files she saw something in one of the documents that she had never expected to see.

"I-Is that. . . my name? W-Why would my name be in Lucifer's court record?". (Y/N) bit her lip deciding if she should look through it or not.

In the end she decided to go through with it and read the document. It was probably nothing, just her mind playing tricks on her. She had been up for hours, after all.

However, the moment her eyes scanned through each line her heart dropped into her stomach.

Sera: Take the child.Court angels: (takes the infant (Y/N) Morningstar from the arms of her parents, Lucifer Morningstar and Lilith)

"P-Parents?".

The rest of the documents recounted Lucifer and Lilith's guilty verdict, their sentencing to Hell, and the courts final proceedings.

(Y/N) wanted to refuse everything she had read, wanting to call it all lies.

But stenographers, especially in Heaven, cannot lie when recording. The magic imbedded within the typewriter wouldn't allow it.

Still, it just couldn't be true. . . Maybe this was another (Y/N), one she's never met. There was no way it was talking about her.

However, before (Y/N) could attempt to convince herself even more she noticed one final document lying on the floor. She recognized what kind of document it was immediately.

It was a Heavenly Ordinance.

She slowly reached for the golden paper and started to read it.

"By Heavenly decree, it is now ordered that all residents, and new ones to come, are forbidden from tempting humanity or breaking Heaven's rules. All residents must obey and turn from all misguided thoughts, dreams, and or endeavors. All violators will receive punishment. It is also ordered that the Heavenborn seraphim, (Y/N) Morningstar, is now under the care of the Seven Virtues; specifically Archangel Michael Demiugros. The infant's name will be changed to (Y/N) Demiugros. The child will have no connection to Lucifer Morningstar and Lilith, and will be told Michael Demiugros is her father/parent who crafted her from stardust. All Heavenly residents aware of the child's true lineage are forbidden from speaking on the matter. All violators will be punished severely."

(Y/N) felt like she couldn't breath.

Her hands were shaking, her heart pounding in her chest.

Oh, God.

She wanted to deny it and believe all of this was some sick prank.

But even she knew no one in Heaven would dare fake writing a Heavenly Ordinance, let alone play such a cruel prank or joke.

Besides, the Heavenly Seal at the bottom of the document was proof of its authenticity.

Heaven would never allow a fake to be placed with the court records.

It took a while for her to calm down.

Looking at the clock mounted on the wall, she saw how late it was.

The court angels who had the early morning shift would be here in two hours.

Wiping the tears that had gathered in her eyes, she used her magic to help clean up her mess and put all of the documents back into their original places - except for one.

When she started to put Lucifer's file away, she stared at the ordinance.

She paused for a moment before folding it up and shoving it into her pocket.

After everything was put away (Y/N) went back to her room with her mind buzzing and heart racing.

She woke up five hours later to the sound of her alarm.

She felt absolutely exhausted.

At first she thought it had all been a dream, a really bad dream.

But when she checked her pockets and pulled out the folded up golden paper, she knew it wasn't.

She was heartbroken.

The feeling of betrayal and hurt plaguing her soul.

Why?

Why did they lie to her?

Why did they do all of this?

Now everything made sense.

Why she was so restricted from practically everything.

Why everyone in her family kept her so close and away from any of the higher seraphim duties.

Why she really looked like Lilith. . .

To top it all off, the person she had believed to be her father this whole time was actually her uncle.

She truly didn't know how to feel, and she wondered if Charlie knew.

Probably not given how shocked the Hellborn had been to hear she had a 'cousin'.

Though, now she knew why she felt such a strong connection to Charlie.

They were sisters.

And if Charlie hadn't known about her, she doubted Lucifer or Lilith did.

She wondered what else Heaven has lied to her about.

. . . Did they even love her?

If she really was the spawn of the ones who damned humanity, did they only keep her for their own benefit?

Have they actually hated her this entire time?

These thoughts brought tears to her eyes.

The rest of the day as she continued on with her duties, she thought back to her family and her newly discovered ones.

Whenever she interacted with her family in Heaven, she did her best to keep up appearances.

There was no way to tell what would happen if they found out what she knew.

So, she decided to bite her tongue.

No matter how much she wanted to scream and cry.

She wondered if they were even going to do anything about the exterminations.

She was starting to doubt it since she hadn't heard anything new; though, would they even tell her?

And Adam and Lute were as smug as ever.

That made her angelic blood boil.

Did they really hate Lucifer, Charlie, her, and sinners so much that they would allow this atrocity to continue?

Even though it went against everything Heaven stood for?!

No.

(Y/N) wouldn't stand for this.

If she was going to help Charlie, she would have to take matters into her own hands.

Luckily, Michael and her other uncles' taught her basic combat.

Hopefully that would at least help her fed off a few exorcists.

The next few days leading up to the extermination, (Y/N) secretly stole some angelic armor and weapons.

She eavesdropped on Adam and Lute trying to find out their plans and the exact time of the extermination.

She even continued to gather information for Charlie to help prove her hotel could work.

She acted as she usually did in front of others to avoid suspicion.

She planned to sneak out the night before the extermination to help Charlie and her hotel prepare for the fight.

She was a little nervous about seeing her newly discovered sister, and possibly her biological father, but she knew she would have to suck it up and wait until after the battle was over.

The morning before the extermination, (Y/N) felt more than prepared - she had everything she needed before tonight.

Everything was going according to plan.

"What seems to be the problem here?" Michael asked the court angel who seemed to be a bit out of sorts.

"W-Well, sir, there seems to be a document missing from one of the court records".

Michael rose a brow, "Okay? Which records?".

"U-Um. . . one of the ancient records, sir."

'Ancient records?'

Michael's brows furrowed - why would a document be missing from one of the oldest records in Heaven? Hardly anyone uses or reads them. They're mainly there as historical records now.

"Strange. . . Which record was it then?"

The court angel gulped, "U-Um. . , i-it-"

Michael glared slightly annoyed, "Just say it!"

"I-It was from Lucifer Morningstar's, s-sir!"

Michael's eyes widened, "Lucifer's?"

"Y-Yes, sir. We noticed some of the court records had been a little out of place the past couple of days, but thought nothing of it as everything was neatly put back. But this morning one of the court angel's found a feather between Lucifer's record, and when they opened it they saw one of the documents inside was missing."

Michael frowned, "Which document?"

". . . The Heavenly Ordinance, sir."

'The Heavenly Ordinance? Why. . . Why would anyone take that?'

"This was the feather that was found inside the court record."

The court angel presented Michael a singular feather. It was beautiful and the design looked very familiar -

Michael's breath hitched as he looked closely at the feather. He snatched the feather out of the court angel's hand looking at it even closer.

'No, no, no - it can't be!'

Without another word Michael flew out of the room leaving very confused and concerned court angels'.

'There's no way! She cannot possibly know!'

Lost in his own frantic thoughts, Michael failed to notice a certain archangel in his path, and proceeded to crash right into him.

"Woah, Michael! What's the rush?" Azrael asked wincing from the impact.

Michael looked at his brother, fear in his eyes, "Azrael. I-It's terrible. . . (Y-Y/N). . . S-She-"

"(Y/N)? Did something happen to her?" Azrael asked worried. He's never been his brother so distressed before.

"S-She. . . She knows."

Azrael furrowed his brows, "'Knows?' Knows, what?"

"About Lucifer. . . the truth about Lucifer and Lilith."

Michael proceeded to tell Azrael the events that happened taken place in the courts archives.

"That's strange," Azrael hummed. "Just as strange as the report I just got that some angelic armor and weapons are missing."

Azrael saw Michael's expression morph into one of absolute horror and waved his hands trying to dismiss his brother's thoughts, "But it could all just be a coincidence!".

Placing his hands onto Michael's shoulders, Azrael looked into his eyes, "Michael. You know (Y/N). As curious as she is, she's not reckless or stupid. She knows her place in Heaven and wouldn't dare ruin that. Have more faith - after all, you are the one who raised her."

Michael calmed his nerves as he listened to his brother's advice. He's right. (Y/N) was raised right and she would never do something that would jeopardize her place in Heaven. Someone else had to have misplaced the document, armor, and weapons.

. . . Still. . .

He couldn't shake off the ugly feeling in his gut.

Hours had passed and it was now late into the night.

To everyone around her (Y/N) was her normal graceful, polite, and dutiful self.

Almost like she hadn't been stressed out the entire month worrying for her cousin, who she recently discovered was actually her sister, and finding out her entire life has been a total lie.

She really played the part of the obedient seraphim quite well.

But right now, she was anything but.

Right now she was the sleep deprived heartbroken, scorned girl who no longer knew who she was or who she could trust here.

But, she was going to find out.

While the rest of the castle was asleep, (Y/N) changed from her night gown into light but durable angelic armor.

She wore her long blonde hair in a high ponytail and carried a long angelic spear on her back (along with a few angelic daggers and a whip on her hips).

Once ready, she quietly unlocked her balcony door trying to make as little noise as possible.

She could feel her nerves shake.

She's never been in a real fight before.

She knew what she was doing was dangerous; and if found out, could lead her into a world of trouble.

Looking back behind her she glanced over her room.

Her eyes landing on a picture frame found sitting on her vanity.

It had a photo of when she was little.

In it she was hugging Michael with her favorite duck plushie in her arms.

They both had such big smiles.

Sadness filled her heart as tears pricked her eyes.

Had it all been a lie?

Well. . . either way, she would find out later.

Charlie needed her right now.

She smiled sadly at the duck plushie laying in her bed silently wishing for luck.

Steeling her nerves, (Y/N) internally prepared herself for the battle ahead.

What she wasn't prepared for was to come face to face with Michael the moment she turned around.

Taglist:

@soobryu @kyo-kyo1 @miyako-night20 @charliecharlie65 @unknow-sama @myluckymoon @lbcreations-blog @moonchaos18 @sirenetheblogger @jagharamira @el-hajj @azharyy @glowymxxn @itsmonicabc @lxkeee @aria-tempest @glowinthedarkbones1150 @sashaphantomhive @0strawberrysorbet0 @serenity-loves-red @snowy-violet @aishallnotbefound

[chrrychills]

hi ‼️‼️ can i request the sbg characs with a high achiever s/o?? hope you're doing alright, and you get out of the slump soon 💯💯💗 also, i absolutely LOVE LOVE your wirting stylee, and the headcanons are rlly accurate ‼️

if i only could, i'd make a deal with God .

main six « academic weapon s/o!

ashlyn banner:

•while she doesn't strive for academic excellence the way you do, she understands your thought process and supports you in how hard you work.

•she likes the concept of a study date— except you're the only one actually studying because she gives up about fifteen minutes in and ends up laying down somewhere while you study. she won't interrupt you though!

•while she doesn't show it outwardly, ashlyn's really proud of you. she knows how hard you work and loves watching it pay off.

•she's also the first to reassure you after you don't get the results you want. if you're upset about a test grade, she'll suggest grabbing some food and taking a nap to get your mind off of things.

•ashlyn's big on making sure you're taking care of yourself. if you get too caught up in studying for her liking, she'll force you to take a break to eat, drink, shower or just rest.

aiden clark:

•aiden is naturally smart so studying was never really a necessity for him, so he doesn't understand why you're bent over a desk for hours on end. i mean he gets it, but he doesn't get it. y'know?

•unlike ashlyn, he does not like the idea of study dates. if you invite him over to study, he won't even bring his school stuff. and if you try to get an ounce of studying in he'll pester you until you eventually give up and pay attention to him.

•you don't know it, but he does this because he wants to make sure you're taking breaks and not overworking yourself. also because he likes to annoy you, but it's mainly concern.

•like i said before, the little fucker is naturally gifted, so he'll usually end up with a low A or something along those lines. you always end up getting better scores than him, though. the studying really does pay off.

•he lowkey boasts about how smart you are as if it's his own achievement... but it's just because he's proud of you and likes to show you off. he'll stop if you tell him to. maybe.

ben clark:

•ben can't really get himself to lock in and study unless it's a topic that interests him, so needless to say he's impressed by how immersed you seem in the most boring of topics.

•instead of studying together, you guys will take a day or two of the week to just be together and enjoy the other's presence. sometimes you'll be studying and he'll be drawing, sometimes you two will be taking a nap or getting food. it just depends on how you feel that day.

•another one that's adamant that you take proper breaks. especially when midterms/finals roll around, ben gets worried that you won't give yourself a break and get burnt out.

•he makes sure that you understand how proud he is of you. he sees how hard you work to get to where you are, and he wants you to know that it's impressive. he's actually so whipped it's crazy.

•overall, ben's very attentive and he just wants the best for you.

tyler hernandez:

•another academic weapon. tyler's naturally smart, but the difference between him and aiden is that he actually studies. best believe you two are top of your class and you're constantly competing one-up each other on grades and test scores and whatnot.

•study dates are a must. they're not an everyday thing, but once or twice a week you two will spend hours cooped up in one of y'all's rooms with food, drinks and homework.

•we all know it's difficult for tyler to recognize when he's pushing himself to hard, and taking breaks is the bane of his existence. if you want him to take a break from homework/studying, it'll have to take a lot of convincing.

•on the flipside, he'll force you to drop everything and eat/drink/nap if he sees that you're overworking yourself. what a hypocrite.

•he's the first one to pull you out of a burnout or slump. he knows you're smart, and he knows you know it too. sometimes a bit of motivation is just what you need and he knows it.

taylor hernandez:

•while taylor is smarter than the average person, she's much more of a hands-on learner. there's a lot of times where she'll be tinkering with parts or welding some types of metal and you'll be doing homework at a desk a couple feet away. it's a way for you guys to stay close while still getting things done.

•when she gets bored, though, taylor isn't above pulling you away from your schoolwork to come hangout/cuddle with her.

•another one who is loudly proud of you and your accomplishments. taylor is and will forever be your #1 fan, and you're hers too.

•she trusts you to not push yourself or burn yourself out, but she'll step in if she has too. she doesn't want to see you crash and burn because you worked too hard.

•she rambles to tyler about how cool & smart you are, and he doesn't have the heart to tell her that he doesn't gaf.

lacey's notes:

thank you for requesting, i sorta combined it w another similar request bc i didn't wanna write 2 separate posts about basically the same thing...

#notedited

tdy's my birthday guys isn't that crazy i'm lowkey reaching unc status

title:

[doin-smth]

✨ Rating WHB character's favourite foods based on if l would eat them and on how much they would be filling ✨

Satan

- wine with a poison from a poisonous snake

my ass would drink this with no questions , the only thing you need to tell me is that there's alcohol in it and am drinking it

It's probably not very fulfilling so...

2/10

Mammon

- first bite of everyone else's food

ngl, l'am the asshole who will ask for some of your food even tho l ordered more

Going off the assumption that we are only eating the first bite it's not very filling

The amount of food also depends on the amount of people that we are eating with, so....

4/10

Leviathan

- fish steaks that smell like the sea

l love fish

no complaints

10/10

Beelzebub

- his crush's armpit sweat

...

I'd rather make out with the local crackhead then eat someone's armpit sweat

0/10

Sitri

- black tea

Love tea

Not very filling tho

2/10

Paimon

- bubblegum

Not very filling but you could just stuff your face with them and eventually you will get full

5/10

Leraye

- burnt beef

Looks delicious

Eating with no questions and is filling

Tho beef is not my fav

9/10

Belial

- animal shaped jelly

stuffing my face with them and hoping l don't vomit from over eating

8/10

Bimet

- chocolate gold coins

I always hated these chocolate coins

Hopefully the ones that Bimet loves some high quality chocolate coins

I will also stuff my face with them to not starve

5/10

Orias

- angle soul

Yeah, no

0/10

Foras

- wet rice paper

l would say this would fill you up, but it's just wet rice paper

Poor Foras

6/10

Tumblr only allows 10 pics so amma continue this in the next post

[thatfreshi]

We Never Cease Being Lucky (Astarion x Reader)

TW - anxiety attack

Recommended Song: Renee - Sales

You absolutely adore birthdays. Although, you haven't celebrated yours since you met Astarion on that godforsaken beach. You remember asking when his is, as you do with everyone. He trailed off, distant.

"I... I don't quite remember."

You never asked about it again, but that sadness kept you in a chokehold. How could you go so long without celebrating your birthday? It's not fair, to not be able to celebrate life, to have that ripped away from you.

Once you end your adventures, you buy a house together, free from all the past pains, dancing on hardwood floors far from anything that ever hurt you. You still live in Baldur's Gate though, and you realize something one day while lying in bed.

"Aster, you were born here, right?"

"Of course, never left, well until I was taken."

You smirk, a little plan unfolding in your mind.

"I know what we're going to do this evening."

It's not often you have a suspicious smile across your face. He's curious.

"Well my love, please do tell."

"We're going to break into the courthouse!"

He laughs, sitting up to stretch, letting go of the slumber.

"Adorable. As far as I recall, we're done with our silly little adventures."

You just stare at him, and he realizes you're serious.

"Wait, why do you want to break into the courthouse?"

"It's a secret!"

"I feel as though it's hardly fair to ask for my assistance if you're not even going to tell me why."

"Well, it's for you. You'll see."

"Alright then, I revoke my complaints. Breaking into the courthouse, sounds great."

He used to be a lot more secretive about it, but he loves when you do things on his behalf. You don't often get such an opportunity, but tonight, tonight you finally get to give him something he's been missing for so long. Of course, as long as everything goes to plan. You tell him to grab a few lockpicks, and the two of you head out into the darkness.

"Sooooo, you can't even give me the slightest hint as to what you're up to?"

"Nope, but at least now you know it involves your very own specialty: sneaky criminal activity."

"Now, I think I have quite a few other far more interesting specialties, but I guess I'm just a glorified key to you."

He scoffs.

"No, you're just really good at getting into places quietly, and I think if I did this by myself I'd probably get arrested, and I definitely don't need you bailing me out considering you'd hold it over my head forever."

"Well you're right about that."

You give him a playful shove, and he trips on a loose cobblestone.

"Okay, rude. Maybe I'll turn you in anyways, say you were trying to involve me in some illegal heist against my will."

"But if you do that, you don't get your surprise!"

"Ugh, fine. I'll play along."

You shush him as you get closer to your target. There's a sleeping guard posted outside, one that the two of you successfully sneak past, finding a side entrance.

"Do you have any idea where this door leads?"

"Nope."

You smile at him, and he rolls his eyes.

"You're asking me to open a lock and you have no idea what's behind it? You clearly are not as masterful of a thief as you used to be."

He starts to pick away at the lock anyways.

"Well, I have been in retirement for a little bit."

At the end of your sentence, you hear that final click, and he opens the door. When the two of you get inside, it's pitch black, all the candles and oil lamps burnt out.

"Do you see any signs that say Records?"

"No, what would I possibly want with the city's records?"

"You'll see! Gods, just let me do something nice."

"It seems like I'm doing most of the work so far..."

"It's fine. Once we find the records room I can do the rest. You're just helping."

He can't resist that grin of yours, clearly excited by your mysterious plans. Astarion gives in, sighing as if he's bothered, but the two of you continue to look for the records room. Eventually, you turn a corner to yet another locked door. You bat your eyes at him, and he goes to work once again.

"You owe me after this."

"Please my love, I'm telling you you're gonna be so excited!"

"If you insist my dear."

He gets the second door unlocked, ushering you inside. He casts fire, lighting up a nearby candelabra. You're met with bookshelves stacked high with pieces of paper loosely put together, turning more golden and tattered as you look to your left.

"This is it!"

You immediately start to look at the dates on the records, finding the range of about two centuries ago. Without a care for the organization, you quickly flip through years and years of records, looking for anything that could be a birth record.

"Darling, I thought the point was to sneak in here, not throw papers all over the floor and have someone know we were here."

You ignore him, becoming a little desperate to find what you're looking for. The text is fading on some of these documents, making it hard to know they're not his. He crouches down on the floor beside you, realizing you're stressing out about this unknown objective.

"Hey, hey, Tav. What's wrong?"

You start to tear up a little, thinking this would be so simple, that this stuff wouldn't be so carelessly stacked on shelves.

"I can't- I can't find it."

You throw the stack of papers on the floor, wiping a tear off your cheek.

"I know you're trying to do something nice for me my sweet, but maybe if you told me what you're looking for, I could help you."

You sniffle, trying not to go into a full sob.

"I- I wanted to-"

You choke up, almost unable to speak. He takes your hands in his.

"Breathe Tav, breathe. In, and out."

You listen to him, trying your best to just inhale and exhale. You didn't think this attempt was going to lead to an anxiety attack, but luckily he's dealt with plenty himself. Your breath steadies as you tightly grab his hands.

"Now, what are you looking for?"

"I... I was trying to see if I could find your birth certificate. You know, since we don't know when your birthday is and all, I thought it might be nice to know. I feel so bad, it just passes every year and you're none the wiser."

He's dumbfounded, shock in his eyes, almost a little confused. You were having an anxiety attack just now because you weren't going to find when his birthday is?

"Darling, I... that's very sweet, but nothing worth this much stress. I haven't even thought about it in years."

"Yeah, but I just really love birthdays, and I just wanted a day where we could celebrate you, you know?"

"I appreciate that sentiment, truly, but if we can't find it, it's okay. You tried, and that's enough. Besides, what's the point in keeping something almost three centuries old at this point?"

"I don't know, I thought that was their job, to keep old shit."

You look at the scattered papers, and he follows your gaze. Something catches his eye, a document sitting to your left.

"Wait, look at that one."

You turn, picking up the piece of paper and holding it in the light of the flame.

"Holy shit."

He sits himself on your shoulder, looking at the writing with you.

"Gods, I really am that old."

You smile, another small tear falling.

"Aster, look. It's tomorrow."

He continues to read, eyes crossing the date again.

"We never cease being lucky, do we?"

"No, I guess we don't."

You turn to kiss his cheek, and then roll up the paper, putting it in your bag.

"Wait, you can't just take that!"

"Why not? Means more to us than them."

You simply shrug and he shakes his head, almost in disappointment. You clearly had no intention of making it seem like you weren't here. He doesn't stop you though, as he can't deny he'd like to keep his birth certificate as well.

"Thank you my dear, for always thinking of me."

"There's nothing more important I could think of."

[sparkdoesart]

@north-heats-stronghold

I'm very interested in hearing your Poppy Playtime au. I wanna hear about Poppy's reaction to the player bring a large, traumatized, burnt cat along with them.

I'd love to explain it! Blood and gore(?) Warning

So, of course, all the smiling critters start off as normal kids. If im remembering right, theo tries to help the prototype and gets zapped and horribly injured. Instead of being turned into the big poppy gas catnap, he is a much more friendly version that is made to help around playcare as a replacement for having to hire actual workers (child labor woohoo).

Dogday and the others were made the same way (minus the prototype related accident). All of them worked around PlayCare doing things like entertaining the kids and setting up events or activities.

Catnap and picky piggy were in charge of home sweet home specifically. Dogday helped at the school.

Nap never really liked the kids, but Day loved helping. So.. Catnap would usually take other jobs such as helping in the lab. This leads to an unfortunate accident...

He gets crushed under some heavy stuff and gets reallyyyyy hurt. The prototype drags him out of the wreck and kickin chicken and hoppy (who were not too far behind, also helping with the same task) found him and got the help of the scientists

And they stitched him together again while also making him more useful by adding the poppy gas! He stays his usual self for awhile before everything starts to get to him. Day stays with him for most of it.

Eventually, catnap becomes a bit more unstable and gets more irritated by the children and is locked away in the playhouse(?) Where he's only allowed to be visited by the staff and the other smiling critters.

But then there's the Hour of Joy. Catnap makes his way out of his cage as the others are rampaging. He kills the people that were watching him and keeping him in here and goes out to kill the rest of the staff.

I will reblog the rest because it has given me an image limit!

[asleeponelmstreet]

Burnt (part 1)

Part 2 Part 3

You are an imp with a mysterious past who recently moved in to the Hazbin Hotel. Not necessarily to be redeemed like a sinner, but you are seeking some sort of redemption. Helluva Boss characters will be heavily involved in the story in future parts, but for now... you just have your memories.

Tags: Alastor x female reader, allusions to past Blitzø x female reader, angst, PTSD, panic attacks, eventual smut, I have no idea if there is an audience for this but I wanted it so maybe someone else will like it

wc: 3,018

This is from a female reader's perspective! If people like it, I'd be happy to write a male or GN counterpart. This was initially written for just me, but I like where its going so I thought I'd share it. Also, I've already written the next two chapters but I want to rework them because I want the story to go in a slightly different direction. So I def plan on continuing this! I also posted this on AO3, but I'm not sure where it will get the most traction. I'm still figuring out this whole posting my fanfiction thing, usually it just sits on my computer.

If you'd prefer to read it on AO3, the link is here.

Minors DNI!!!

Screams filled you with terror. The rumbling roar of the fire followed, but a high-pitched ringing overpowered it. The steady sound drowning out all the other clamor distracting you from finding help.

As everything around you burned, the temperature rose. Sweat collected on the nape of your neck and dripped down your forehead, obscuring your vision. Your nostrils flooded with the smell of ash and burning flesh. The scent was so pungent, it mixed with the metallic taste of blood on your tongue from when you bit into your lips.

You ran barefoot, trying your best to avoid shards of glass and the other broken things that lay at your feet. Flames danced around you, licking at the charred ribbons. The only remnants of the tents that once surrounded you.

Your breaths came out short as you panicked. Your entire body quivered when you allowed yourself to think you may never get out. You may never find help. May never see those you loved most again.

A loud screech rang through the air, breaking through the buzzing in your ears. It was only when it ceased that you felt the raggedness in your throat. And you realized that you had been the one to create the sound.

“Where are you right now?” The heated voice whispered against your cheek was so familiar, but also different. Not quite the voice of a childhood friend or a long lost lover.

His breath against your cheek hitched. “Where are you? What’s wrong?” Panic registered in his voice. He lifted his weight off of you but tears blurred your vision so you couldn’t see him.

“Fuck. Answer me damn it. You’re really freaking me out right now.” Even without his body pinning you to the bed, you couldn’t move. It felt like something invisible was holding you down.

A sharp pain blossomed across your chest. You tried to get words out between shallow breaths, but nothing ever came.

“It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault.” Those were the last words you heard him say before it all went as black as ash.

Startled awake by a loud crashing noise, you sprang up in bed. Relief washed over you when you realized it was just another nightmare. A familiar nightmare, but a nightmare all the same.

You took in your hotel room that you had grown familiar with over the past few weeks as you collected yourself. But the sight of the red stains on your white sheets startled you, making you shove yourself out of bed and tumble to the floor.

You had just built up the nerve to stand up and investigate the bloody mess when someone slammed open your door.

“What was that sound?! Is everything okay?” It was Angel Dust, another resident at the hotel. His room was just across the hall so it made sense that he would investigate the cacophony of sounds coming from your room. But he was also quickly becoming someone you would consider a close friend, so you hoped his intrusion was a sign he cared.

“I-I fell out of bed.” You said the first thing that came to mind. Your head still foggy from sleep. Your simple response clearly did not work for the porn star whose mouth was agape as his eyes locked on your torso.

You looked down at your nightgown and saw it was soaked in blood. Deep gashes in the thin white material cut through the skin across your chest. Your mouth dropped open with a barely audible, “Oh.”

“Doll face, what happened?” Angel came up to your side and wrapped you in a side hug, attempting to comfort you without covering himself with blood in the process.

Your brain was taking its sweet time thinking of a response. Before you could get words out, two more faces peaked into your room. One belonged to Charlie Morningstar, the princess of Hell and the owner of the Hazbin Hotel where you were currently residing. The other was her girlfriend, Vaggie.

Both women looked like they had just woken up, still dressed in pajamas with their hair mussed from sleep. “We heard a noise. Is everything okay?” Vaggie asked as they tentatively let themselves into your room.

Seeing the worried looks on their faces seemed to jumpstart your brain a bit. At least enough for some semblance of words to come out of your mouth. “I’m okay, guys. I’m really okay. I must have scratched myself in my sleep, but the blood just startled me when I woke up so I fell off the bed.” Concerned looks were still plastered on all their faces. “I’m really sorry if I woke y’all up. I really need to file my claws.”

The buzz of radio static sent a shiver down your spine. Your body went stiff. You knew what that noise meant. He was near.

“What is all the commotion in here?” Alastor, the radio demon, appeared in the doorframe and welcomed himself into your room as if he was walking into a party. He twirled his microphone like a cane until he saw you in your disheveled state.

“My, my dear. What happened to you?” He said, his red eyes narrowing. His tongue darted out of the corner of his mouth, wetting his lips as his gaze rested on the blood splattered on your chest. It made your skin crawl.

“I was just telling everyone that I scratched myself in my sleep. I was just really startled when I woke up covered in blood. It’s really not a big deal.” Your skin flushed in embarrassment as you explained the story to the deer demon.

“You should use a nail file to prevent this sort of scene then.” You rolled your eyes at that comment, wondering if he had been listening in on the conversation before making his grand entrance. What a pompous tool, you thought.

“Is that it?” Charlie asked, looking at you sweetly with those huge of eyes of hers.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I just need to get cleaned up. And maybe, Nifty wouldn’t mind cleaning my bedsheets. If not, I really don’t mind doing it.”

“No way,” Vaggie said. “It’s her job. You should take a bath and we’ll send her up to take care of the bed.”

“Thanks,” you said, smiling at her. The angel could be cold towards you, but a part of you felt like the two of you could be good friends one day. It will just take some time to warm up to each other.

“Again, I’m really sorry if I woke any of you up. I used to scratch myself when I was younger but it’s been a while.” You tried to not let your mind wander to the last time this had happened in your sleep. “And there was just so much blood.”

“Nonsense!” Alastor chided. “Don’t your worry your pretty little head.” He tapped you with his microphone, tilting your chin up so he could look you in the eyes. It made you feel like a child… and made you want to sink your claws into his grey skin. “I’ve been awake for hours.” He turned on his heels and waltzed out of the room, humming an upbeat tune on his way out.

Charlie reached her hand out yours, giving it a little squeeze before she and Vaggie left too. Angel was about join them, but you stopped him.

“Wait, Angie. Don’t leave.” You said, not wanting to be alone with your thoughts quite yet.

“Sure thing, toots. What’s up?”

You tried to think of something to say, but that was when Angel’s foot brushed up against a shard of glass on the floor. “Hey, what’s this?” He followed a trail of glass to a small broken picture frame. That must have been the crash that startled you from the nightmare.

Angel picked it up and scanned his eyes over the photograph. It was an Imp couple with beaming smiles, proudly holding their baby girl. “Aw, is this baby you and your parents?”

You nodded, tight lipped and too scared to let yourself speak.

“You’re so cute! Look at that lil’ baby tail. And your mom is gorgeous. You look just like her…” he squinted a bit, “But definitely with your dad’s eyes.”

“Thank you,” you responded politely.

Angel picked at the corner of the photograph and your stomach dropped. “Wait, is there another picture behind it? Can I see?”

You grabbed the picture frame from his hands. “No,” you growled. But seeing the hurt in the spider demon’s eyes made you feel horrible. “Uh, maybe later. I’ve got to wash all this blood off, but I’ll see you at breakfast.” You followed him out the door, locking it behind him.

Once it was just you in the room, you leaned on the back of the door sinking to your knees. You let the facade break and tears rolled down your cheeks as you carefully took the second photo out of the frame. There were actually three in total. But you couldn’t bare looking at the third photograph so you just slipped out the second one without peaking at what lay behind it.

The picture featured three imp children. You, in the middle, with your arms slung around the boys on either side of you. The three of you were so close together in the image that your cheeks squished against one another’s as you all wore huge grins.

The memory almost made a small smile form on your own face beneath all the tears. You lovingly traced a finger over both of their faces, longing for a time that seemed so far away now. But then the feeling of rage bubbled up inside of you, and your bloodied claw scratched across the face of the boy with braces who stood on your right.

Shame followed and you wished you could rewind time to undo what you had just done. You ruined the last memory you had of that happy boy. Before the fire. Before everything.

A knock at your door jolted you out of your self-pity. “Open up,” Nifty said. “I’m here to clean up your mess!”

Once you scrubbed all the blood off your body and dressed for the day, you joined the rest of the hotel in the kitchen for breakfast. Almost the whole Hazbin Hotel crew had finished their meals — Angel was still picking at some fruit left on his plate — but they were still hanging around.

Well, everyone except Alastor, but he enjoyed his unique tastes in the privacy of his own room. That was a relief.

You loaded up your plate and sat next to Angel across from Charlie, who was showing Vaggie some scribbled plans for the hotel on her notepad.

“Hey Angel, I’m really sorry about how I reacted when you saw that picture. I’m not really comfortable sharing.”

He stopped his nibbling and pulled you in for a hug. A real one this time. You melted into his touch, the feeling of his soft fur against your skin. “It’s okay. I get it, babe. You’ve had a rough morning.”

Husk approached you on his way to the kitchen sink with his dishes. “Hey kid, heard you had a lil’ accident this morning. I’ve been there, especially when I first got to Hell. Wasn’t used to having to maintain these claws.”

You could tell the bartender was trying to be comforting, but it embarrassed even more. Not because someone told him about your mess, but because you were born in Hell. You had these sharp talons your whole life.

“Thanks Husk,” you said, taking a sip of the coffee you had just poured. “Honestly, I’m normally good. I just had a nightmare last night.” You were hoping the excuse would make you feel less pathetic but then Angel let out a fit of laughter.

“A nightmare? We’re in hell. Hell, you’re from hell. You’re in the nightmare, sweetheart.” Your skin grew heated and tail flicked in annoyance. You could see from the look in his eyes that he realized how insensitive it was and regretted making fun of you. Joking was just his knee-jerk reaction.

Charlie chimed in just in time before things could get really awkward. “Ya know, what might be fun?!” She bounced in her seat. “You, me, a night out on the town! I finally have someone who I can venture outside of the pride ring with!”

You shifted in your seat, not sure what to make of this. A little worried that Vaggie might be jealous, but when you looked at her she looked totally unbothered. In fact, she looked quite pleased.

“Sure, Charlie. That sounds like fun.” You looked down as you picked at the food on your plate, trying to hide your uncertainty.

“Maybe, there’s a show tonight in the greed ring!” You hesitated at the mention of your old home, but the all-imp circus was long gone and so were most of the survivors. Many dispersed, escaping to the simple farm life in the Wrath Ring or the absolute dumpster fire that is Imp city.

“Sounds good. Thank you for inviting me.”

She bounced out of her seat so quickly that she knocked over the empty plate she had pushed to the side. But she didn’t care, she was too excited. The princess was genuinely one of the bubbliest, kindest individuals you had ever met in Hell, which was shocking considering the people she ruled.

“I’ll go look up tickets and then I’ll let you know what time to be ready!” she said as she sped off with Vaggie picking up the mess the princess left in her wake.

“Is that going to make Vaggie jealous?” you whispered to Angel.

“No, it was her idea. They were brainstorming ways to cheer you up while you were getting ready,” Angel said, a bit louder than you would have liked. “I’m jealous though.”

Charlie told you to be ready at 5, so when you finished your makeup and hair a half an hour early you decided you would make yourself a snack. Back in the kitchen, you gathered some cheese and hot sauce from the fridge. Squirting a bit of the red sauce on a big chunk, you took a bite and were mid-chew of the delicious combination when the whirring sound of a radio stopped your enjoyment.

“What an odd combination, my dear.” Alastor appeared right behind you, making you nearly jump out of your skin. “Is that a normal snack for your kind?”

Something about the way he said “your kind” made you want to punch him. “No,” you said proudly. “It’s just something my best friend showed me as kid.” You almost gasped when you realized what you had just revealed to him. And that you still referred to him as your best friend. “Want some?” You offered, knowing the overlord would refuse.

“No thank you. It’s not exactly my taste.”

“You won’t know until you try it!” you said, thinking only of him. Not the radio demon standing before you. “And who are you to judge? You’re a fucking cannibal.”

“Such foul language coming from the lips of such a pretty creature,” Alastor paused, humming to himself for a moment. “You look absolutely divine tonight darling.”

You almost choked. Is he flirting? You couldn’t really tell. So many of his words were just lies to manipulate soaked in honey. But you were dressed a bit differently than you normal tonight since Charlie had told you to dress up.

You didn’t know what to say so you settled on being polite since you knew it would appease him. “Thank you, Alastor.”

“What are you all dolled up for?” He grew closer to you, his face now only a few inches away from your own. You backed up to create some space between you two but hit your back against the counter.

“Charlie and I are going to see a show.” You nervously ran your hands up and down your arms as if it was cold – even though the room was getting quite toasty.

“Oh, how wonderful. Would you two ladies want a gentleman to accompany you on your outing tonight? I just so happen to be free.”

“No,” you said. His eyebrows raised and he squinted those devious eyes at you. “No, thank you. And anyways, we’re leaving the pride ring so unfortunately you wouldn’t be able to join.” You gave an exaggerated pout as if you were actually devastated at the thought of Alastor not being able to crash your night out with Charlie.

Alastor’s smile never wavered, but you thought you could see a twinge of disappointment in his eyes. “I never learned why you moved in to this old hotel with us. Certainly a hell born imp like yourself wouldn’t think she could be redeemed.”

You wracked your brain for what to say and settled on the same censored, but true story you told Charlie weeks before when you had arrived on her doorstep. “I wanted to help. I may not be redeemable, but at least I could try and do some good.“

“Mmm-hmm.” You could tell he knew you weren’t telling the whole truth. The whole truth would be too much.

“I’ve done so many horrible things during my life in hell and I thought this might be my only opportunity to make up for it.”

Alastor’s smile grew even wider, clearly glad to get at least a little more information out of you. You hadn’t told that last part to Charlie and you honestly wondered what made you share it with him now. Before you could get too lost in your thoughts – speak of the devil’s daughter, she saved you.

“Oh, hey Al,” she said, looking surprised to see you two talking so close together. “You ready to go? I know it’s a bit earlier than I planned but I want to make sure we can beat the crowds.”

“I’m down!” you said, happy for the excuse to slip out of this oddly intimate conversation with the radio demon.

Thank you so much for reading! I thought I was done with the next part but I want to rework it to make it better. Until next time...

Part 2

[ladylilithprime]

Day 8: Witch's Brew

IT TOOK AN embarrassingly long time for Castiel to realize that Sam Winchester preferred tea over coffee.

He felt that he could probably be forgiven for this lapse in attention to detail. Sam was often drinking coffee when Castiel was present, and Castiel had been present frequently enough to have picked up on Sam's preferred coffee order versus what he would accept to appease either Dean's sense of masculinity or their limited budget. Even when tea was available, he did not always reach for it, though he was the more gracious of the brothers when offered tea by a witness when on a hunt, holding the delicate porcelain cups with gentle care in his large hands and sipping at the liquid politely when Dean would rather ignore it. It wasn't until the witch Rowena was living in the Bunker that Castiel had occasion to note how often Sam could be found drinking tea, even brewing it himself and seeing Rowena's pleased smile when he brought her a cup.

And Castiel had to keep from reacting with more than just a narrowing of eyes when he noticed Sam's flinch when he heard Dean muttering about "damn frou-frou witch's brew" as the elder Winchester walked past the one time he found Sam drinking tea without Rowena present.

"I'm a bit of a snob about tea, actually," Sam admitted with a wince when Castiel asked, ducking his head in shame as if confessing some great sin. "Coffee is kinda ubiquitous, y'know? And most of the time it's, like... boiled bean water. It's mediocre, cut with chicory, too bitter, or just burnt from sitting on the burner too long after being brewed. It's what I grew up with and I'm used to it, but you've already noticed I'll add cream or sugar or spices and flavored syrups to it if I can because I sure am not drinking it for the taste!

"Tea is different," he went on with a shadowed look in his eyes. "I learned how to brew proper jasmine tea from Jess, back at Stanford. She loved tea, but only when it was looseleaf and brewed 'right', and at first I learned to love it too because I loved her. And then, well... out on the road hunting, if you want tea you're stuck with whatever tea bags of cheap black tea you can get in a diner or gas station and it's no better to taste than coffee and not worth the mockery I'd get from Dean for it."

"For a professed champion of free will, Dean is remarkably judgemental about others' expression of it," Castiel replied, half in observation and half agreement.

"Only when it comes to me," Sam muttered under his breath.

He said it quietly enough that Castiel assumed he had not been meant to hear, and so he pretended that he hadn't. He did, however, "file it away", as it were, and quietly had a word with Rowena to ask for a lesson in how to brew tea "properly". The knowing look and occasional teasing comments that he got from the witch in addition to the lessons was mostly worth it when he managed to brew a two cup pot by himself. The smile he got from Sam when he brought him a cup of tea along with his own, surprised and pleased, made all the effort entirely worth it.

"Really?" Dean complained when he saw them placidly drinking tea in the library while researching. "Thought we'd seen the last of the leaf water when the witch left!"

Sam flinched, but settled when Castiel pressed his foot gently against Sam's leg under the table in support. Rallying, he said casually, "Dunno why you're complaining, Dean, it just means more bean water for you to drink."

"Yeah, I know you have no taste," Dean scoffed. "What'cha making Cas drink that shit for?"

"I am the one who made the tea, Dean," Castiel interjected blandly. "Sam is not forcing me to consume the tea molecules any more than you force me to consume coffee molecules."

Less, if he was honest. It had been a long and drawn out battle of wills to get Castiel to drink coffee at all, one he had eventually lost during his time spent human and homeless when the free coffee he was allowed to sneak at the Gas'n'Sip was sometimes the only thing keeping him awake for his work shift. He had never acclimated to the taste, however, and once he had regained his Grace and could taste only molecules again he had only kept up with drinking coffee to stem Dean's complaints.

"Cas, c'mon, man!" Dean practically whined, switching tracks. "Thought you were on my side with this!"

"I am allowed my preferences in the molecules I choose to consume, Dean," Castiel informed him pointedly. "They are no less valid for not perfectly aligning with your own. Or, more colloquially: bite me, Winchester."

Dean spluttered, either from the sentiment or from Castiel using a colloquialism. Castiel had no doubt he would "pay" for that later, but much like the effort it took to learn how to brew tea, he knew it was entirely worth it to hear the soft, choked laugh from across the table and see Sam's small, shy smile.