#and i’ve been losing it over this specific thing - honestly couldn’t care less about the rest

[oreolesbian]

does… does dave filoni know that the whole “anyone can be force sensitive if they put their mind to it” bullshit fundamentally shatters the entire core of star wars world-building around force users? like - does he understand that?

[arc-misadventures]

Would You Care To Join Us? 2

Jaune: Nora, I need your… advice.

Nora: Oh?! Fearless Leder needs my help?! This is a glorious day!

Jaune: I’m already starting to regret this…

Nora: So tell me gloriously leader! What can I help you with?

Jaune: How does one… get a girl…? How does one make a girl your girlfriend?

Nora: Why are you asking me that; Couldn’t you ask, Rin, or Pyrrha?

Jaune: Pyrrha’s only been on publicity dates, meant to show off something, or someone. No romance in those at all. And has, Rin ever been on anything close to a date?

Nora: Ahh, good points. But, I’ve never dated before, why are you asking me?

Jaune: Cause it’s you, Nora.

Nora: Ahh! That’s why you’re the leader! Always coming up with the smart plans there!

Jaune: So… any ideas?

Nora: Who’s the girl you’re trying to win over?

Jaune: …

Jaune: Ms. Goodwitch…

Nora: Triple G?!

Jaune: Don’t call her that!

Nora: Sorry…

Jaune: Haa… Okay, so can you help me?

Nora: I can!

Jaune: Awesome!

Jaune: How…?

Nora: Hmmm… Oh I know! You should have sex with, Blake in her classroom!

Jaune: …

Jaune: The fuck?!

Nora: I know it’s crazy, but hear me out. So, you sleep with, Blake in, Ms. Goodwitch’s classroom, then she stumbles upon you, and then you ask her to join in! Simple as that!

Jaune: …

Jaune: That’s the craziest plan I ever heard…

Nora: But, it could work~?

Jaune: Even if I agree to this plan, answer me one thing: Why, Blake?

Nora: She’s kinky, she’d totally do it.

Jaune: …

Jaune: She probably would.

Jaune: Haaa… Fine I’ll do it… But, if this back fires, and I wind up in detention, you’re banned from having pancakes for a week.

Nora: You wouldn’t dare!

Jaune: Pray that you don’t find out.

~~~

Blake: Oh fuck~?!

Jaune: Honestly, I thought you slap me in the face for even suggesting we do this. But, you’re really getting into this, Blake.

Blake: Oh~! Can you blame me? You have no idea how many boxes this ticks off, and me on~!

Jaune: Really? Care to tell me? Maybe I can check off another item on that list for you~?

Blake: Doing it in a classroom. Ooph~! The possibility of being caught. Doing a human. Actually getting off~!

Jaune: Ouch, how many bad lovers have you had?

Blake: Too many! Oh! We should film this, and send it to them!

Jaune: Beg pardon?

Blake: Those losers would absolutely… Ohhh~! Would absolutely lose it if they saw me actually getting off, to a human no less! Oh gods~! We should have done this sooner~!

Jaune: I-I’m not really sure about…?!

Ruby: Blake, are you here? I want the next volume of… Ninjas in… love…?

Jaune: Uhh… hi, Ruby…?

Ruby: H-Hi…

Jaune: Uhh… Blake, and I are kinda busy right now… you can ask her for that book later.

Ruby: O-Okay… whoa that’s massive…

Jaune: But, in the meantime… w-would you care to join us?

Ruby: Yes!

Blake: A threesome?! Fuck yeah, another item off my checklist!

~~~

Nora: Ruby?

Jaune: Yeah…

Nora: How did it go?

Jaune: Blake got… kinky so I didn’t really do it a lot with her.

Nora: Makes sense.

Jaune: So, Ruby asked me to join her in the classroom again.

Nora: Oh cool! Treat her nicely!

Jaune: Don’t worry, I will!

~~~

Ruby: H-How are you… Ohh~! How are you so good with knots? Mmmm~!

Jaune: Boy scout, easiest badge I ever got

Ruby: I knew it! You’re a total boy scout!

Jaune: And, you’re loving it~!

Ruby: Hell yeah~! Ohhh~!

Jaune: Tell me; You like being tied up, how about being gagged?

Ruby: Oh fuck yeah!

Jaune: Alright then, let’s…?!

Weiss: Ruby, did you take my binder… A-Again…?

Ruby: N-No…

Jaune: Hmmm… That didn’t sound so sincere. Did it, Weiss?

Weiss: N-No it didn’t…

Jaune: Would you care to join us, Weiss? Maybe then we can get her to talk.

Weiss: …?!

~~~

Nora: Did, Weiss join in?

Jaune: Yeah… yeah she did…

Nora: Was it bad?

Jaune: Oddly specifically kinky…

Nora: Eh?

~~~

Weiss: Grrk! Grrk! Grrk!

Jaune: Oh, are you enjoying yourself, bitch?

Weiss: Mmmph~?!

Jaune: D-Did you just…? Who said you could do that?

Weiss: Mmm-mmrrry!

Jaune: Looks like I’m going to to have to puni…

Yang: Did someone say, ‘Pun?!’

Jaune: Uhhh…?

Weiss: …?!

Jaune: No… no they did not…

Yang: Oh… Uhh…? What’s going on here…?

Jaune: Exploring, Weiss’s kink…

Yang: Kink?

Jaune: Domination…

Yang: Oh… that’s unexpected…

Jaune: Yeah…

Yang: …

Jaune: Are you just going to stand there, or would you care to join us, Yang?

Yang: Oh~?

~~~

Nora: Yang? You got the wrong blonde, Fearless Leader.

Jaune: Yeah…

Nora: So… Are you going to try again with, Yang?

Jaune: Yeah, she asked me to help her explore her kink.

Nora: What’s her kink?

Jaune: Beats me.

~~~

Yang: Ohh~! Big bro! We can’t do this here~!

Jaune: I am so conflicted right now! I have seven sisters, and you look like all of them! And, you want to do this?!

Yang: Because, its so god damn hot~!

Jaune: That’s what makes it worse!

Yang: Forget about it, just focus on me, and the moment, big bro~!

Jaune: Gods… Why is my little sister such a…?!

Emerald: Shit, where did I place that…?! That…?

Jaune: Uhhh… Hi… Emerald…

Emerald: Hi…

Yang: Yo~!

Emerald: Hi… Uhhh… A-Are you two related…?

Jaune: N-No…

Emerald: B-But… L-Lil sis…?

Jaune: It’s… its her kink… So…

Emerald: Oh…

Jaune: So… so are you going to do whatever it is you were going to do, or would you like to join us instead?

Emerald: J-Join…?

~~~

Nora: A brother complex?

Jaune: Yeah, I thought only girls with brothers would develop a brother complex like my sisters. But, apparently not.

Nora: Yeah…

Nora: So, Emerald… How was that?

Jaune: Also into the brother complex thing too.

Nora: Okay…

Jaune: She asked for a second run.

Nora: She did?

Jaune: She said she wanted to play something out.

Nora: Oh really? What does she want to play out?

~~~

Emerald: I’m sorry!

Jaune: For what?!

Emerald: I’m sorry for stealing!

Jaune: No you’re not! You’re sorry you got caught!

Emerald: OHH~!

Jaune: Oh? You like that? You wanted to get caught didn’t you! So you could be punished you naughty butch!

Emerald: N-N-NooooOoh~?!

Jaune: You do~! Well, guess I’ll have to try harder to punish you, you slu…?!

Cinder: Emerald?! Are you here, we need to… to…?!

Jaune: Uhh…?!

Emerald: C-Cinder?! W-What are you doing here?!

Cinder: I was… I was looking… L-Looking for you…

Emerald: F-For what…?

Cinder: I… I don’t remember… oh gods… its so big…

Jaune: Oh… well would you like to join us maybe we can jog your memory?

Cinder: J-Join…?

~~~

Nora: So, Cinder joined in, eh?

Jaune: Yeah, Emerald really enjoyed it when, Cinder joined in on the action.

Nora: Must have a crush on her.

Jaune: I’d bet money on that.

Nora: So, did, Cinder ask you for a spin too~?

~~~

Cinder: AhhHhh~!

Jaune: I’m sorry! Did I hurt you?

Cinder: No. It’s just to so~!

Jaune: I’ll go slow… be nice, and gentle, just like you asked.

Cinder: Oh dear~! Hold me!

Jaune: I’m here honey, I’m here… eh?!

Cinder: Huw?

Neo: 🙂

Jaune: H-Hi…?

Neo: 😁👋

Cinder: N-Neo?! What are you doing here?!

Neo: 😍🍆💦

Cinder: You want to join us?

Neo: 🤩

Jaune: Whoa hey?! I didn’t say the line!

~~~

Nora: So, Cinder is into softcore?

Jaune: I think she’s more into the feeling of being loved, because she hasn’t ever experienced genuine live in all her life. In the afterglow she delved into to some… heavy stuff… she’s been through a lot…

Nora: Oh… I’m sorry to hear that… so… What does, Neo want?

Jaune: She’s mute, so she didn’t tell me.

Nora: So she’ll show you then?

Jaune: Probably.

~~~

Ruby: 🥴

Jaune: Okay… This is unexpected…

Ruby: 🚫❤️❔

Jaune: I didn’t say that. I will say, you certainly are tighter than her!

Ruby: 😏

Jaune: What’s that smile about?

Weiss: 😍

Jaune: Okay, now this is a semblance I would like to play with!

Nora: 🥰

Jaune: Okay, I haven’t done it with her, so this is kinda…??

Nora: Jaune! We ran out of…?!

Jaune: Uhh…?!

Nora: N-Neo…?

Nora: 😘

Nora: You’re fucking me… but, not me…?

Jaune: Uhh… yeah…? I-It was her idea!

Nora: 😇

Nora: I’m a little offended really… I mean, you’re fucking me, but not the real me? Why?

Jaune: Oh… Well, we can fix that… So, would you care to join us?

Nora: …

Nora: Fuck me… Literally~!

~~~

Nora: That was awesome!

Jaune: Glad you like it. I thought you would be unnerved with doing yourself… like that…

Nora: Naww it was fucking hot! You should do it again, but this time with, Blake! She’d really get into it!

Jaune: It worries me that she would…

Nora: So, up for another round fearless leader~?

Jaune: …

Jaune: Sure.

~~~

Nora: Ahhh~Haa~! H-Harder~!

Jaune: Oh? Of course you like it hard, and rough.

Nora: Hell yeah I do! Ohh~! What do you take me for, some pillow… Ahhh~! Pillow princess?!

Jaune: Like hell I would, I just expected you’d like things little… HARDER!

Nora: AHHHH~HHHHH~!

Jaune: That’s more like it~! Scream for me bitch!

Velvet: Yeah, scream for him you slut!

Jaune: AHHH?! What the?! Velvet, what the hell are you doing here?

Velvet: Waiting for my turn.

Jaune: Your turn?!

Velvet: Yeah, you fucked, Blake, then, Ruby showed up, and then you had a threesome with her. Now, I’m here, and I’m waiting for you two to finish so I can have my turn.

Jaune: Well,I’s happily ask if you would care to join is, but how the hell did you know we were doing this?

Velvet: Blake told me.

Jaune: Son’a bitch!

~~~

Nora: Blake blabbed?

Jaune: Yep.

Nora: Of course she did… I’ll go teach her a lesson. You go tame the rabbit. She’s going to lose it if she doesn’t get her fix.

Jaune: Should I bring a spare change of clothes with me?

Nora: Wouldn’t hurt.

~~~

Velvet: Ghack?! J-Jaune?!! Y-You’re… Oh fuck~?! C-Chocking me! Oh~?!

Jaune: That’s because I need to hold you in place you in heat bunny slut!

Velvet: Oh gods~?!

Jaune: Besides, you can deny it all you want, you got tighter the moment I squeezed~!

Velvet: OH-OHHHH~!

Jaune: He… squirter… that’s a first…

Coco: Holy fuck…

Jaune: Coco?!

Velvet: Co-co~? Heyyyy~! Would you care to join us, Coco~? I need help taming the big fella~!

Coco: Join you?

~~~

Jaune: Evidently, Velvet was in heat…

Nora: That’s a thing?! I thought that was some racist stereotype?

Jaune: According to, Velvet it only happens to females, and certain types of faunas.

Nora: Bunnies being one of them?

Jaune: Yep.

Nora: So did, Coco join you?

Jaune: Yep.

Nora: Really? I thought she was gay.

Jaune: Me too. But, she asked for another go so…

Nora: Maybe she’s curious?

Jaune: Maybe. I’ll do it, I just hope what happened with my sister-in-law doesn’t happen again…

Nora: Sister-in-what now?

~~~

Coco: Fuck!Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! FUCK~!

Jaune: Enjoying yourself?

Coco: Oh gods?! Why the fuck did I use those worthless dildos?! Ahhh~fuck~?!

Jaune: Ahh, crap. Looks like I did it again.

Coco: Did… Ahh! Did what aga-ahhhh~!

Jaune: Make a lesbian question her sexuality.

Coco: You’ve turned a lesbian straight?!

Jaune: Bisexual, but does that really matter?

Coco: You gotta… Oh fuck~?! You gotta tell me how that went down! Cause that sounds so hoOOOOOOT~!

Jaune: Maybe next time, for now lets just enjoy the…?!

Reese: Hey, guys do you know where the cafeteria… is…?

Jaune: Oh, hi Reese… The cafeteria is down here hall to your right.

Reese: Oh cool, thanks… But, uhh… I’m not that hungry anymore… Maybe you can help me gain a appetite~?

Jaune: Oh? In that case, would you care to join us?

Reese: Mmmm~! Please take care of me~!

Coco: Oh he will~! He will~!

~~~

Nora: Reese? That punk, scatter girl?

Jaune: Yep, that’s her.

Nora: So, did you help her get an appetite?

Jaune: She’s still hungry, so…?

Nora: So~?

~~~

Reese: I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m…?! Ohh~?! I’m sorry sir!

Jaune: Sorry for what?! That you were cheating, or that you were caught?!

Reese: Ohhh~?!

Jaune: There… I believe you have learned your lesson, Ms. Chloris.

Reese: W-What was the lesson, Professor Arc~?

Jaune: …

(SMACK!)

Reese: OHhhh~!

Jaune: Kids these days… they never learn…?!

Arslan: Reese! Where are you? We got some… training… to do…

Jaune: Oh… Hello, Ms. Altan. Ms. Chloris is currently in the midst of some supplementary lessons. Perhaps you could come by later. Unless, you would care to join us for some extra credit?

Reese: Extra credit~! Hehehehe…

Arslan: Your name is, Jaune Arc right? You’re Pyrrha Nioks team leader, and partner.

Jaune: That’s right I am.

Arslan: Interesting~!

~~~

Nora: What was interesting?

Jaune: I don’t know, and I’m scared to find out…

Nora: You sure, cause your friend says otherwise?

Jaune: I said I was scared, not that I don’t find this hot!

~~~

Arslan: Fuck you, Nikos!

Jaune: Oh, so is sleeping with me your way of one upping, Pyrrha?

Arslan: At first… Ohh~! But, this cock is something a girl can’t deny she wants~!

Jaune: Really? Then how would you feel if I said I haven’t slept with, Pyrrha?

Arslan: Seriously?!

Jaune: OH FUCK?! You just got so much tighter?!

Arslan: Ha! Take that bitch! I got your man first! And, I’m going to make him mine~!

Pyrrha: Not if I have anything to say about it.

Jaune: Huw?! P-Pyrrha?!

Arslan: Hey bitch~! Guess who just stole your man from you!

Pyrrha: Bitch please… Let me show you how a real woman pleases a man~!

Jaune: P-Please be gentle…?

~~~

Jaune: Oh gods… My body hurts all over…

Nora: Didn’t your aura protect you? It did when we went at it.

Jaune: They broke my aura! I’m just one man, do you expect me to handle a pair of Amazonian’s all on my own?!

Nora: Oh shit really? Why did they go so hard on you?

Jaune: Evidently the pair have some history back in, Mistrial. The number one, and two always competing for top place. I just so happened to be the ‘top place’ at the moment…

Nora: The top place being your dick right~?

Jaune: …

Jaune: I wasn’t going to say it, but yeah… it was the, ‘top place’ this time…

Nora: So, who won?

Jaune: Actually they both asked for a rematch…

Nora: They, what?

~~~

Pyrrha: Oh fuuuuuck~!

Jaune: Oh gods!

Pyrrha: How does it feel, Jaune~! I’m better than that cheap slut~!

Arslan: Oh you whore! Come here you bitch!

Pyrrha: Hey?! Hands of my man you cunt!

Arslan: Bring it whore!

Pyrrha: Oh~! You bitch~!

Arslan: Mmmmph~! Make be whore~!

Pyrrha: Mmmm~! You slut~!

Arslan: Ahhh~!

Jaune: Uhh…?

Arslan: Ohh fucck~! Right there~! Use your tongue right there you slut~!

Pyrrha: Mmmmmm~!

Arslan: I’m cumming~! AHHHHHooooh fuuuuuck~!

Pyrrha: Ha, beat that bitch~!

Arslan: With pleasure~!

Jaune: …

Jaune: Should I just go? Because it seems that, I’ve become the third wheel here so…?

PA: Come here you!

Jaune: Whaaa?!

~~~

Nora: So, do you think they worked out their relationship?

Jaune: I think so? The pair may not be competing on who the better fighter is anymore, but they’re still competing with one another.

Nora: The sexual tension between the pair is rather intense. I guess you just pushed the pair over the edge.

Jaune: Define edge?

Nora: Ehhh~! Nice!

Jaune: Thank you, I’m here all week~!

Neon: Oh, there you are, Jaune~!

Jaune: Ahh?! Neon, what are you doing here?

Neon: I was told that you are considered, ‘safe.’ I’m curious how, ‘safe’ you really are, if you catch my drift.

Jaune: Drift? No, no I don’t.

Neon: I’ll see you again at your… usual hunting ground. Till later~!

Jaune: Uhh… Okay?

Jaune: …

Jaune: Did you find it weird that someone wanted to do it with me without first catching me, and another person in the act?

Nora: Yeah, that was pretty weird.

Jaune: Yeah, weird. So, any idea who snitched on us?

Nora: Blake, or Velvet, possibly both of them.

Jaune: Damn their loose lips… Nora!

Nora: Yes, Fearless Leader!

Jaune: Teach those two a lesson! I will deal with the stray cat!

Nora: At once, Fearless Leader!

~~~

Neon: Never miss a beat! Never miss a beat! Never miss a beeeeeeAaat!

Jaune: How was that, Neo? Dis a miss a beat?

Neon: You his every beat right know yhe mark handsome~!

Jaune: Good, now then, let’s try things at a different… eh? May?

May: Uhh… H-Hey, Jaune?

Jaune: Oh hey, May. Need something, or would you care to join us?

Neon: Yeah! Join us~! You won’t regret it~!

May: Uhhh… M-Maybe… But, I have a word with you later, Jaune? I want to have a word with you.

Jaune: Uhh… sure. But, what did you want to talk about?

~~~

Nora: So, how was, Neon?

Jaune: I like it when a girl does her hair in pigtails.

Nora: Why?

Jaune: Handle bars.

Nora: Nice~! So, what does, May want to talk to you about?

Jaune: Beats me, probably wants to thank me for protecting her from that grenade you almost hit her with.

Nora: Yeah… she wants to, ‘thank you~!’

~~~

Jaune: Oh gods… They’re so soft~!

May: (Slurrr-Pop~!) And, you’re so hard, and big~!

Jaune: You’re one to talk? I thought you were a B-Cup, what are those, H-Cup? How the hell did you manage to hide those?

May: Lots of binding… (Slurp~!) Otherwise they get in the way… But, now they’re right where I want them~!

Jaune: I’ll admit, I’ve always wanted to a girl with a big chest to do this to me. Done side if be a hormonal teenager with seven sisters as big as you.

May: Mmmm~! Day ar?

Jaune: Mmmm~! Much bigger… I’ll show you a place later where you can get some proper restraining bras. Those binding’s will hurt your chest in the long wrong.

May: (Pop~!) Really?! Oh, thanks, Jaune! That means a lot!

Jaune: My pleasure.

May: But, in the meantime, your ‘little’ friend here owes me a make over~!

Jaune: Then get back to work, There’s a lot more I want to do with you than just give you a makeover~!

May: I’m looking forward to it the…?!

Penny: Amazing! Are most male reproduction organs so big?!

Jaune: Penny?! W-What are you doing here?

Penny: Friend Ruby recounted the tale of your sexual escapades, I was interested the validity of her words , so I described to authentic her tale for myself.

Jaune: So…? Would you care to join us then?

Penny: Sensational!

~~~

Nora: Ruby blabbed?

Jaune: Yep…

Nora: Shall I take care of her.

Jaune: You may.

Nora: So how was, Penny?

Jaune: She just watched us, she wanted to know what to expect before she did anything.

Nora: So you’re gonna pop her cherry then~?

Jaune: Don’t worry, I’ll be careful.

Nora: With that bitchbreaker? Yeah right!

~~~

Penny: S-S-Sen… Sensa-sa-sation-a-aalllll~!

Jaune: Penny?! P-Penny are you okay…?

Ciel: I think you short circuited her… And, it only took you: Twelve minutes, and thirty seven seconds.

Jaune: Uhh… Is she okay? I saw literal sparks fly off of her.

Ciel: She is in the midst of a reboot. She will be fine in ten to fifteen minutes.

Jaune: Are you sure?

Ciel: I am. Now, you have not ejaculated yet despite, Penny’s best efforts. So I shall offer you a fellatio to bring you to ejaculation. This should take no more than five minutes.

Jaune: Wait, what?!

~~~

Jaune: It did in fact take no longer than five minutes…

Nora: You sound disappointed by that.

Jaune: I couldn’t really enjoy it. Sure she went after me like a vacuum, but I couldn’t enjoy it. Besides, it feels weird to time how long you can bring someone to come.

Nora: That makes sense. It’s not a contest to see who can eat the most pancakes the fastest.

Jaune: According to, Penny, Ciel is very punctual. Basically everything she does is done to a schedule, and I mean everything, down to the last second is marked on one of her schedules.

Nora: Yikes, major control freak right there. Hmm… You two having another scheduled interaction together?

Jaune: Yeah, why?

Nora: It would be a shame if things didn’t go to schedule, if you catch my drift~!

Jaune: Oh really~?

~~~

Ciel: OH FUCK~?!!

Jaune: What was that~? Barely even a few minutes? Doesn’t it take you five minutes to have a orgasm?

Ciel: Y-Y-You…?! Oh fuck?! You disrupting mu p-p-pla-Ahhhh~!

Jaune: And, you’re absolutely loving it~!

Ciel: N-No! I’m not! I-I… Ohhh~! I hate…?! Oh gods~!

Jaune: You love it~!

Ciel: Oh~!

Jaune: Admit it, Ciel. You love it when I disrupt your precious little timetable~!

Ciel: I don’t! I-I-Ahhh~! i ha… Ha… I LOVE IT~! I fucking love it! I love not know when I’ll cum, when you’ll come! Oh gods~! This feels amazing~!

Jaune: Good girl~! You deserve a reward… I know, how about another one of these!

Ciel: Oh gods~?! It’s so warm! S-S-So warm~!

Jaune: Good girl~! Let’s spend… two minutes for you to catch your breath before we… Rin?!

Rin: H-Hey, Jaune… You looking… big…

Jaune: Oh uhh… Thanks. So… Ciel seems a bit out of it… Would you care to join us? Give, Ciel a chance to get her legs back?

Rin: J-Join you…?

Rin: …

Rin: Later.

Jaune: Later?

Rin: Yeah, later… I meed to prepare myself… mentally… and physically…

Jaune: Oh, okay. Let me know when you’re ready to do it.

Rin: Don’t worry, you won’t have to wait too long. Till then, Jaune~!

Jaune: Till then…?

~~~

Jaune: I’m… worried…

Nora: About, Rin?

Jaune: Yeah… the way she stared at me… there was something in her eyes that seemed… wanting, lusting, and… and, unhinged…

Nora: Hmmm… Yeah, I asked her about the two of you going at it. The way she rubbed her thighs, and bit her lip… There was something… there was something in her eyes that unnerves me…

Jaune: We won’t know until we do it… But, until then keep an eye on, Rin. Something’s fishy, and I want to know what’s going on.

Nora: Will do, Fearless Leader!

Jaune: Let’s hope nothing bad happens…

~~~

Rin: That’s it you magnificent stud!

Jaune: Whoa, Rin?! What’s gotten into you?!

Rin: Come on! Come on! Comeonecomeonconeobcomeone!

Jaune: Ahh, Rin?! What the hells gotten into you?!

Rin: Come inside! Come inside, and knock me up!

Jaune: Wait, what?!

Rin: Get me pregnant! Give me your babies! Make me a mommmMMMMMY~!!!

Jaune: Ahh fuck… Are you try to…?! What the fuck, Rin?!

Rin: Ahh~! I’m gonna be a mother~! Ahhhhhhh…

Jaune: Rin? Oi, Rin, what the hell was that?!

Glynda: A violation of several school codes, Mr. Arc.

Jaune: Ahhh?! M-M-Ms. Goodwitch… H-Hi…?

Glynda: I see you are having… fun…

Jaune: Yeah… fun…

Glynda: Fun…

Jaune: Uhhh���

Glynda: Clean up your teammate, Mr. Arc, then clean the spot where you… Where you had your fun…

Jaune: I’ll get right on that, Ms. Goodwitch!

Glynda: Good… I will see you tomorrow at detention, Mr. Arc.

Jaune: Detention? That seems… appropriate…

~~~

Jaune: So… Rin wants me to impregnate her…

Nora: Yeah… that’s… yeah…

Jaune: Yeah…

Nora: I made her take some, ‘morning after’ pills.

Jaune: Oh? Oh that’s good! That’s good…

Nora: Something wrong?

Jaune: I’m just confused on all of… that!

Nora: Are you against having a kid… a kid with, Rin…?

Jaune: …

Jaune: I’m not against it… It’s just… I never expected that, Rin wants such a thing… from me no less… But… I don’t know… We’ll need to talk with, Rin about this later… I just… I need more time to process all of this…

Nora: Okay… I’ll let, Pyrrha know what happened so we can all talk about this.

Jaune: Good idea. It’s best if she also keeps an eye on, Rin as well. Haa… Okay, I have to get going… detention, Ms. Goodwitch…

Nora: Good luck, Jaune.

Jaune: I’ll need it…

~~~

Glynda: So… Let me get this straight… In an attempt to whoo me, you had sexual intercourse in my classroom, hoping that I would catch you in the midst of the act where you would ask me: “Would you care to join us?” Is that correct, Mr. Arc?

Jaune: Y-Yes…

Glynda: Good. Let’s continue; You started this little plot with, Ms. Belladonna, where instead of me catching you in the act, you were caught by, Ms. Rose, then you tried it again with, Ms. Rose. Then you tried it again with, Ms. Schnee. And, again with, Ms. Xiao Long. And then with, Ms. Sustari. And, then with, Ms. Fall. And, then with her teammate, Ms. Politan. And, then with your teammate, Ms. Valkyrie. And, then with, Ms. Scarlatina. And, then with her partner, Ms. Adel. And, then with, Ms. Chloris. And, then it was, Ms. Arslan, which involved, Ms. Nikos in a competition of some sorts. Then, Ms. Katt asked you to join your… harem. And, then Miss Zedong ask to join you. And, then it was, Ms. Polendina, who was with, Ms. Soleil, and lastly it was your teammate, Lie Rin before I, Glynda Goodwitch finally caught you in the act…

Jaune: Y-Y-Yeah… That’s p-pretty much it…

Glynda: And, tell me, Mr. Arc… Why… Why didn’t you just ask me out on a date, instead of this convoluted plan where you started a harem after sleeping with seventeen different woman? If you just asked me out back then, I would be enjoying your massive cock between my breasts long ago!

Jaune: I-I’m sorry! I thought you would say no!

Glynda: Mr… No… Jaune… You promised to marry me when you were six… I waited twelve years for you to make your move, and instead of making your move on me, you slept with secenteen other woman! What the hell, Jaune!

Jaune: Uhh… E-Eighteen woman actually…

Glynda: Eighteen?! You’ve slept with eighteen woman before me?! That it! You may have slept with sixteen woman before me, but I’ll be the first to have your child!

Jaune: Y-Yeah… about that…

Glynda: What!! You’re already a father?! Who the hell did you…?! Adrian… You’re, Adrian’s father, aren’t you?!

Jaune: Surprise…?

Glynda: You slept with your sister’s wife to conceive a child?!

Jaune: It was consensual! They wanted an, Arc, so I gave them an, Arc baby!

Glynda: And, Saphron just sat there, and watched as you knocked up her wife, Terra?!

Jaune: …

Jaune: Nineteen…

Glynda: Motherfucker?!

Jaune: Technically true…

Glynda: That’s it! I don’t care about your harem, or the fact I’m number twenty! But, I’ll be damned if someone else has your child before me! I’m number two! Rin can become number three after me! So get ready, Jaune, you’re going to become a father again~!

Jaune: H-Help…?

Ozlyn: Ara-Ara~! Do you really think that I will allow that to happen, Glynda?

Jaune: Headmistress Ozlyn?!

Glynda: Ozlyn?! What are you doing here?

Ozlyn: Me? Why I was planning to get the number two spot, but I don’t mind being number three~!

Glynda: The number two spot is mine bitch!

Ozlyn: We’ll see honey~! But, before we begin, Mr. Arc?

Jaune: Yes…?

Ozlyn: Please say, ‘The Lline.’

Jaune: The line…?

Ozlyn: Yes, ‘The Line~!’

Jaune: Uhhh… H-Hello, Headmistress Ozlyn… would you care to join us…?

Ozlyn: Fufufu~! With extreme pleasure~!

~~~

Nora: Glynda Goodwitch, and Headmistress Ozlyn?!

Jaune: Yeah… both of them…

Nora: Whoa… How was it?

Jaune: Starved, to say the least…

Nora: Oh gods… So… Now what…? You started a harem with twentyone different woman, and all of us are ready, and waiting for a second run! So, what are you going to do, Fearless Leader?

Jaune: …

Jaune: Pancakes…

Nora: Pancakes?

Jaune: Yeah, pancakes. I’m hungry.

Nora: Whoo! Pancakes! Can we have sex afterwards?

Jaune: Sure.

Nora: Fuck yeah!

Jaune: No syrup in the bedroom though.

Nora: Dammit!

///

Haaa… Days of work… And it’s finally over!

Doing the bloody colour coding took forever…

Do enjoy~!

[mercy-burning]

Honeybee

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: While attending Seraphina's wedding, Y/N discovers that her crush on her best friend’s older brother hasn’t gone away after all these years. Category: SMUT (18+) Content: Strong language, alcohol consumption, fingering, penetrative/protected sex Word Count: 5.7k

MASTERLIST

NOTE: I know I promised a oneshot over the weekend, but I’m a messy, inconsistent bitch, so you get it a day late 😅🥰

———

Looking back, I was starting to wonder if Seraphina only got engaged and asked me to be her maid of honor just to witness my slow descent into a heaping puddle of lovesick mush.

Truly, it was pathetic.

Yeah, yeah, she was getting married because she loved her fiancé and whatever, obviously, but she was also using it as an excuse to try and get me to admit my feelings for her older brother. Feelings, I might add, that only surfaced when I was a middle schooler and went away once he went off to college.

Sure, I'd thought about him on occasion when he was inevitably brought up around Sera's house throughout the years, but that was it. I'd hardly say I was hard-core in love with him. And I was totally prepared to see him for the first time since our high school graduation.

At least, I thought I was.

And Seraphina—the little shit—knew it, too. The smirk on her face the moment we were all in the same room for the first time in ten years made me want to run and hide more than her brother's figure, right in front of me and hotter than ever.

I was mad. Not at Sera as much, because really there was nothing she could do about the fact that he was her brother, but I was mad at myself. Because how in the hell had it stood to reason that a man I actively didn't think about for a whole decade had this much of an effect on me after all this time?

Honestly? I blame the FBI.

If he'd done literally anything else with his life I probably could have made it. Well, not by much if we're being honest, but come on...

Where he'd been a bit nerdy and reserved as I knew him, the man in front of me had clearly changed. Not just physically, though that was also a pleasant surprise. He looked like he'd been through some shit... And he carried himself taller. There was a new air of confidence that perched on his shoulder and helped him along as he talked with old friends and family members at his sister's rehearsal dinner.

Spencer Reid was older and more experienced this time around, and somehow even more goddamn delicious...

I was a total wreck. And it was about to get a whole lot worse.

He was coming this way. Right for me. He'd noticed me staring at him all night, because I couldn't keep my shit together, and now I was absolutely doomed.

Guess it was a good thing I'd practically grown up with him and knew how to act outwardly.

Still, the moment he was up close and flashing me that little smile of his, I felt the pit of my stomach scream out loud, sending shockwaves through my bloodstream.

"Hey, Honeybee. It's been a while."

Fuck. That fucking nickname...

"Spencer... It has."

When we hugged briefly, I tried as hard as I could not to inhale his scent, knowing that not only was that pathetic and embarrassing, but also I'd never stop smelling it otherwise. I did take note, though, of how strong he was now. He wasn't a bodybuilder of any kind, but he was certainly less bony and more defined.

I had to hold back a whine as I felt him let go of me, because I didn't want to leave his warm embrace but also because I didn't think I could stand to look at his face anymore without losing any and all semblance of my cool.

Still, I let him release me, and even then he didn't go far. We only stood inches apart, and my whole body was practically numb at the proximity. It also didn't help that I had to tilt my head up to see his face— It made me feel extremely submissive, and I could already feel myself starting to shrink.

Whether he was amused at that or just at me in general, the feeling I got was the same.

"Sera tells me you've been busy..." He paused, seemingly searching for the right word, though I could tell he already had it on the tip of his tongue. "Modeling?"

I closed my eyes with a sigh. "It was one job for some obscure European magazine, no one in the country's probably ever heard of it... It's not that big of a deal."

Spencer huffed a laugh. "You sound embarrassed..."

How was I supposed to respond to that? If I lied and told him I wasn't embarrassed, he'd figure it out, and if I told him the truth? I'd still be screwed. Honestly, my best bet was changing the subject.

Though, maybe it wasn't— When I asked him about his travels for work, he ignored it and responded with, "Ah, so you are embarrassed."

"N— I am not!"

"You changed the subject so fast I barely had time to blink... There's nothing to be ashamed of, Honeybee, I don't know why you'd—"

"Look, dude, I'm not ashamed, and I'm certainly not changing the subject. We were on the subject of jobs. So there."

I was aware of how childish I sounded, but I stood my ground nonetheless. And thankfully Spencer seemed to let it go, though not without amplifying that amused sparkle in his eye.

"Okay... Well, I've got some more people to see, but, uh... I'll see you around. Maybe you can show me some of your work."

He didn't even give me time to protest. Though if he had, I was sure I wouldn't have been able to get any words out what with that goddamned face he had, twisted and sculpted into all these beautiful ways that were designed specifically to make me a blubbering hot mess.

I could only gather the courage to nod in response, though he'd turned his back and walked away by the time I got it out.

———

All things considered, I'd managed to avoid him for the majority of the wedding festivities. I focused all my energy on being happy to see my best friend get married, and likewise it seemed that Spencer was inclined to do the same.

He walked his sister down the aisle, and seeing them both so happy truly made my heart sing. To think I'd known them since we were all kids more or less, and now they were both successful, beautiful human beings... It warmed me to my core, and despite the other flames that stung my insides at seeing Spencer in his tux, thing were going swimmingly.

That being said, we were just about two hours into the reception, and there was absolutely nothing stopping me from begging Seraphina to put me out of my misery.

Except maybe pints upon pints of alcohol.

In hindsight, that may not have been a good idea, though. Because as much as the open bar had it benefits, it also hated me. It was mostly my fault, because I was stupid enough to forget that I get frisky when I'm drunk, but that didn't stop me from blaming the bartender for continuing to serve me.

I wasn't quite at the point of all-out inebriation, but I was definitely toeing the line between tipsy flirting and total disaster.

And when Spencer came over to ask me to dance, I knew I was doomed.

I didn't find myself caring about what he was saying, only the fact that he was there, in front of me, putting his hands on me and breathing in the same air that I was putting out. My entire body buzzed, and while I would have panicked otherwise, my tipsy brain welcomed the tingle and made me a bit bolder.

"You enjoying yourself tonight?" he asked, like he couldn't already tell that I was having the time of my life.

"No way. You suck at dancing." The joke rolled off my tongue with ease, a product of years spent teasing him for countless things.

And just like all those times before, he rolled his eyes and then immediately flashed an affectionate smile all the same.

I should have stopped there, maybe tried to do something a bit more romantic like teach him how to dance... Placing his hands and fixing his posture, taking the time to gracefully have an excuse for exploring his body with my hands...

But romance took a backseat when I pressed myself in even closer to him and hummed just under his jawline. "Mmm, but I bet you're good at other things..."

I felt his hands grip my waist just a little tighter, and his throat visibly twitched. "How much have you had to drink, Honeybee?"

"Spencer," I whined, pressing my face into his neck. "Don't tell me you're turning me down, please..."

I could tell by the way he was touching me, his hands wavering and undecided, and the way his heartbeat thrummed loudly and quickly against my own that he wanted nothing more than to entertain my desires.

The thought made me quiver and press further into him. I kissed his jawline tenderly, silently begging him to whisk me away and finally make me his, but it broke my heart a little to feel him peel away from me.

When he looked into my eyes though, I swore the gleam in his own is what put me back together. It could have been the liquor swimming around in my body that made me feel lightheaded, but when Spencer lifted my chin with his fingers and looked me over, I knew that wasn't it. It was wholeheartedly, without a doubt, him.

"Tell you what... You get sobered up by the end of the night, and maybe I'll come find you."

I wanted to nod, but his gentle grip on my chin held me steady—At least until he glided his fingertips down my throat and over my shoulder. Then I downright slumped forward with a whine and a weak nod that seemed to make him smile.

"Thank you for the dance," he said earnestly, leaning forward to press the lightest of kisses to my temple.

Just like that he was gone, and I wanted him back almost immediately.

———

And so the night dragged on, and the longer I sobered up the more it dawned on me what the fuck just happened— What the fuck was going to happen, too, if I played my cards right.

It didn't help that I could practically feel Spencer's eyes on me the whole time. Probably to make sure I really wasn't drinking anymore, a fact that only made this feel more real.

On top of it all, I was starting to lose count of the amount of men here who were trying to buy me drinks. Even if the one man I really wanted tonight hadn't given me a deal, I still wouldn't have accepted them, if only for the pathetic fact that I would have been trying to catch his attention instead.

So much for trying to convince myself I wasn't in love with him...

Was that really what it was? It had to be, right?

Either way, I was determined to find out, and that meant declining every flirtatious offer to drink and dance.

Unfortunately, Seraphina seemed to notice, even on the one day in her entire life she shouldn't have been thinking about anyone but herself. "You're not having fun," she pouted, plopping down next to me and handing me a shot. "Have fun."

I laughed and set the tiny glass down on the table. "I am having fun, I'm just... tired. And being hungover tomorrow does not sound fun."

"Mmm," she responded, visibly suspicious.

I didn't really know what to say to her to convince her not to be though, so I grabbed her hand and smiled. "You're having fun though, right? 'Cause I will not hesitate to kick someone's ass if you're not."

With a bellowing laugh mildly tainted with the smell of champagne, Seraphina squeezed my hand and leaned in close. "I'm having the best time. I couldn't be happier."

"Well, good. You deserve it."

After a small moment of silent shared smiles, my best friend glanced over elsewhere and then back to me with that look in her eye that kind of scared me.

And her words were even scarier... "So, you talk to Spencer at all tonight?"

"Uh— Yeah... Briefly."

"Mhmm... Y'know, I saw you two dancing together earlier. You seemed reeeally close..."

There I was, getting defensive in front of a Reid sibling for the second time that night. And just like before, I was awful at being subtle. "Sera, stop it! It was just a dance..."

"Bullshit! He had his hands all over you, and he had that gross-ass, dreamy-ass look in his eye! He so wants to sleep with you!"

"Sera!" I gently shoved her and tried not to smile at the goofy smile she had plastered on her face.

"Am I wrong?"

"I... I don't..."

"Ha! I'm not wrong!"

The defeated look in my eye did nothing to disconfirm her story.

"So, what's stopping you from letting him?"

I went wide-eyed. "Se—You... You seriously would... You're okay with this? It doesn't... gross you out?"

There were a lot of things I could have seen Seraphina do in that moment, but pinching and yelling at me were not any of them. "Y/N! You idiot! I've been trying to get you two together for years! If I knew all it took was me getting married, I would have accepted Theo Decker's proposal..."

"Wa— In fifth grade? Sera, that wasn't—"

"I know, but you get what I mean! You two are so painfully attracted to each other, it physically hurts me. It's actually disgusting, but if it means there's a chance that you might get to be my sister? I say go for it."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "You... You really mean that?"

"What, you think I'd joke about that?"

Everything that she conveyed to me within the look in her eyes, her words, and the squeezing of her hand over mine told me she was sincere.

"I love you, you know," I told her just as sincerely.

Her smile was as radiant as ever, but the teasing tone in her voice was enough to make me scowl again. "Right back at'cha, Honeybee. Just do me a favor and don't tell me any details. I don't wanna know."

I stuck my tongue out at her, followed by a short shove. "Oh, and as soon as you get back from your honeymoon? I'm kicking your ass for telling him about that nude shoot I did for that magazine..."

She only grinned. "Why? I think I did you a favor..."

I rolled my eyes at her, but in the end, I guess she was right.

———

I shouldn't have been pacing. Really, it was pretty fucking embarrassing the way I walked in circles around my hotel room, waiting for a knock at the door or a text message on my phone, or something to let me know that Spencer had really meant what he said and was on his way to come find me.

I didn't have a single drink after we danced, and I swear to God, if he made me go through this entire night all nervous without the liquor to calm me down, for nothing? I was going to kill him tomorrow.

Later today... Whatever.

The point? I was well and truly ready to feel him taking up my personal space, and I was going to feel like a real idiot if I waited around and prepped and everything, only for him not to show. The funny thing was, it was almost two in the morning, and I would have stayed up until the sun rose for him.

Thank God he had the decency to save me the trouble.

A short two-rap knock on the door made me jump, but I ran at it full-speed, flinging the large wooden panel open and letting its momentum blow cool wind over my body. And I needed it, too.

Because standing right in front of me was Spencer Reid in all his semi-exhausted glory. His outfit was loosened, buttons undone and bowtie untied, hanging limp around his neck. His hair sat wild atop his head and a thin layer of sweat coated his skin. Maybe that last part sounded gross, but looking at him? It was anything but.

Especially when he flashed me that damned smirk. "Someone's eager..."

I tried not to sound as dumbfounded by his presence as I felt. "Well, you made me a good offer I couldn't refuse. Excuse me for being excited."

"And here I thought all this time you hated me, Honeybee..."

"That would be easier, wouldn't it?"

His grin transformed into a full-on beaming smile then, and it only made my skin feel warmer and my heart beat faster. I returned his smile with my own, so genuinely happy to see him again after all this time, and with the brightest show of happiness I'd ever seen.

Turns out, smiling like a lovesick idiot was all I was capable of.

"Are you... gonna let me in?"

The low suggestive tone in his voice had me springing into action, stepping back and allowing him the space to come in. And though he had plenty of room, Spencer still decided to brush his body over mine as he passed. His eyes bore into my own as he gently kicked the door shut and enveloped us in a dimness that came from cheap hotel lighting.

Still, I was unable to speak, and hardly able to even breathe, with each passing second.

And then, his hands were on my waist, pulling me to him with a softness that matched the whisper in his throat as he said, "C'mere..." Looking up at him then, his fingers burning holes through the thin fabric of my dress while he looked back down me, eyes swimming in tender desire... It almost didn't even feel real.

And it certainly didn't feel real when he leaned in, one of his hands coming up to touch my face while the other pressed me firmly against him.

The moment his lips touched mine, I was gone. I positively melted into him, so much so that it felt like I was just becoming a part of him entirely, losing myself in the moment and unwilling to let it go.

Even when he sighed against my lips and parted his own to kiss me deeper, I just followed suit and let him take the lead. We moved together as one, fluidly and with as much eagerness was possible. I'd wanted to get a taste of him for so long, and he obviously felt the same way, what with the thorough and precise exploring his tongue did with my own. It shot warmth throughout my whole being, and my legs threatened to buckle underneath me from how weak they felt.

Spencer seemed to understand what was happening to me, because as soon as I'd thought it, he was just as quick to literally sweep me off my feet, scooping me up bridal style and carrying me over to the large bed in the middle of the room.

"I know we're at a wedding and all, but geez," I laughed, watching as he laid me down gently and crawled over my body. "A little much?"

He only rolled his eyes. "Well, excuse me for trying to be romantic..."

"Mmm, I think you're just being an overachiever. As per usual."

That remark earned me a pinning of my wrists above my head, and the fire that erupted in my very core at my current position only cemented that this was very real.

Spencer grinned, his hips coming down to roll over mine teasingly. He spoke nice and slowly, his voice slicing through my soul like smooth butter. "Oh, Honeybee, I'll show you an overachiever..."

Once again I was rendered speechless. Not like I expected to be talking his ear off or anything, but words genuinely escaped me.

Luckily, Spencer didn't seem to mind. In fact, he knew exactly what to do next, and it made me even hungrier for him than ever before.

He captured my lips in another dizzying kiss, his hands still flexing over my wrists to keep them steady. I moaned softly and writhed against him, and though I would have liked to say that it was a conscious choice to coax him to give me more, really it was just me being unable to handle the fact that this was actually happening.

Actually, if not for the overwhelming and familiar scent of him, I would have thought I was only imagining it.

But alas, here he was in all his floral peppermint glory, grinding his hips down into mine and kissing me like I'd never been kissed before, driving me mad with each adept movement.

Thankfully he seemed to get as lost in the moment as I was, because he loosened my wrists in his grip, and I broke free, flying my hands in between us and down to his belt.

His lips pulled away from mine with a soft smack, a smile forming smugly upon them. "Have you no patience?"

As my fingers fumbled with the metal and leather, I pressed my nose to his and quickly pecked his mouth. "I thought we already established that I have no patience the moment I opened the door..."

"Fair... But still..."

Spencer grabbed my hands again, moving them to my sides and then hiking my dress up slowly. His skin was hot against my own, and it took everything I had not to break down begging for him.

And then he spoke again, his lips barely grazing mine as he did. "Teasing you is so much fun..."

I couldn't really explain what sound escaped me then, but it reminded me of a disgruntled animal, erupting from my throat and getting muffled the moment I took my hands and brought his face to mine. I kissed him fervently as his hands matched the intense nature of my affections— With every soft groan I gave him, he returned it with an inch higher up my leg, until eventually he was toying with the hem of my underwear.

Unable to take it anymore, I gave in and mumbled the most desperate plea I could think of. (Like I had to think that hard...)

"Spencer, please..."

I half expected him to tease me again, but this time I felt him tremble over my body. His fingers slipped under the satin of my underwear and he sighed into my mouth. "God, how could I ever say no to you..."

No sooner had the words left his mouth did he spread me apart with his fingertips, getting a feel for me and a broken sigh falling from his tongue and onto my own. I captured it and kissed him with as much precision as I could while under the influence of his hands working wonders.

Truly, his hands hand a magic of their own that should have been considered as an eighth Wonder of the World. They flexed in all the right places, splitting me open and caressing the most sensitive parts of me, simultaneously breaking me apart and putting me back together...

God, and those was only his hands...

The thought of what else he had waiting for me made me cry out into his mouth, though I'm sure it also had to do with the fact that his fingers were curling expertly inside me and summoning an orgasm that I knew would satisfy us both.

I almost cried out again when his lips left mine, but then they travelled to my neck and paid it the most glorious attention. The alternation of his fingers and his tongue on different spots of my body had me in shambles, and it took no longer than a few seconds to snap.

"Fuck, that's my girl," Spencer grumbled into my neck, helping me through my orgasm. "That's it, honey..."

What I wouldn't have given to hear him talk to me like that until the end of time... His words, their tone and praise seeping into my skin and bringing my soul to life... Coupled with his soft hands and his even softer breath fanning over my neck, I was just about ready to ask him to keep talking to me, to say my name and never stop.

He pulled away though, removing his hand from my lower half and bringing it up to his mouth, and I had the feeling my request wouldn't be a problem.

Spencer's eyes rolled back and his tongue gathered my arousal off his long, well-endowed fingers. And though I could hear his groan well and clear, I felt it more than anything. It reverberated through my body and brought me more to life in a way I never thought imaginable.

No one had ever made me feel that way with one single sound, and that's how I knew.

I thought I knew it from the start—from when we were growing up—that I wanted to be near him forever. But It was always just a silly dream, something I was never quite able to reach, and as I got older and we rarely saw each other, it got harder to even imagine anymore.

Now I didn't have to imagine.

Spencer Reid was right in front of me, touching me, tasting me, verbally praising me with sounds I'd only ever dreamed of...

I wanted him to have his moment, because I was positive he'd wanted this just as much as I did, but this sappy sort of revelation I was having made it nearly impossible to not be utterly wrapped up in him, and I wanted more.

So I wiggled and adjusted myself underneath him before grabbing his hand and placing it over my heart. His eyes widened softly at the sight of me, and I knew then that he was taking the time to memorize my face, and the image of his hand resting at my chest, right where my heart was encased beneath bones, flesh, and fabric.

"I could look at you forever," he whispered then.

I would have been ashamed to admit that I whimpered when he said it, but the way he looked at me afterwards made me feel the exact opposite.

He smiled, using his other hand to come up and touch my face. "You want it bad, don't you, Honeybee?"

I didn't even argue with him this time. My head nodded and my hands reached out to pull him closer. "I want you... More than I've ever wanted anything."

Before he leaned down to kiss me, I could have swore he looked like he was going to shed a tear. The duality of him, his ability to be all teasing and cocky one second and then reduced to a lovesick mess at just a few words from me the next, made my heart sing.

And it kept singing, a sweet, steady melody as Spencer kissed me and touched me like he meant it.

Only this time, he didn't pause or tease me with theatrics. He went straight for the kill, fetching a condom from his pants pocket and then sliding the material down, all while keeping me trapped under his embrace. I welcomed it naturally, humming happily into his neck and jawline and anywhere I could reach as he got us both fully undressed and situated, until finally he had the condom on and his hands rested nicely on either side of my head.

"Promise not to sting me?"

I laughed, draping my arms over his shoulders and flashing him a wink. "Mmm, only if you promise to give it to me good..."

"Deal."

He slowly pushed into me then, and the stretch was far more satisfying than his fingers, though I was in no position to complain either way. If he was even half as skilled with his hips as he was with his hands (which I had no doubts about whatsoever), then neither of us had anything to worry about.

It didn't take long for us to find our rhythm, but I didn't have time to think about that. I was so consumed with just the feeling of him being everywhere that technicalities didn't matter.

That being said, the technicalities were really fucking good.

His hips snapped into mine with sharp precision, and I felt it deep within my bones. My cunt clung around him willingly and accordingly, as did my legs, which hooked over his waist as I dug my heels into his ass.

Meanwhile Spencer grabbed my hands and pinned them above my head again, this time interlocking our fingers and then leaning down to kiss me deeply. It was met with my undying welcome, of course, but with the way he was fucking me, deep and with a devotion that nearly exploded my heart, I couldn't help but whine out for more.

His name was all I could manage.

"What do you want, Honeybee?" he cooed, holding himself deep inside me and grinding his hips in small circles that made it harder to breathe.

"M—More... I..."

"Can you be more specific?"

How he could be such a cocky little shit in this moment I wasn't sure, and it frustrated me to no end. He knew damn well what I wanted, and I knew just the thing that would make him give it to me.

I have him the biggest pout I could, also whining out the most pathetic, "More," in my arsenal. And with a roll of my hips up into his, I gasped out at how deep he got, and whined out again.

"Spoiled brat," Spencer grunted in defeat, retreating only to slam into me at full force.

My small gasps and cries turned into full-blown howls of searing pleasure as he fucked me then. My head tipped back and my back arched slightly, exposing my neck and chest to him, and he took it as an invitation to lean down and put his mouth anywhere he could reach. I was sure there would be small nicks and bruises littered over my skin the next morning, and just thinking of everyone seeing them, seeing Spencer's mark on me, made it harder to prolong the inevitable.

I came with a shout, flexing my hands into his as my body tensed then relaxed, over and over while he whispered praises into my skin. He followed soon after, shoving his face into my neck and muffling the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard as he came.

By then his hands had loosened, so I snuck my own away from his and brought them over to hug him close. One hand knotted into his hair while the other grazed over his back. The thin sheen of sweat forming over his skin once again was more enticing than it probably sounded, but I loved it all the same. I felt him relax and bring his arms down to rest at my sides, his fingertips dancing lightly over my skin and giving me goosebumps.

Then out of nowhere, he said something that confused and mildly panicked me. "I thought you said you wouldn't sting me..."

I pulled away to try and look at his face, loosening my grip on his body. "A—Am I hurting you? I'm sorry..."

He laughed though, peppering tiny kisses up my neck until he got to my jaw. "You're not hurting me, Honeybee... You've just... stung my heart, that's all."

"I... Is that a bad thing?"

"It's a strange thing..."

He looked at me like I was the one thing on the planet he adored, but his words sounded different.

I raised an eyebrow. "You're not helping me understand..."

With another laugh, Spencer Kissed my cheek and rolled off of me, settling for laying on his side and turning me to face him. "Do you remember how I gave you your nickname?"

Despite my confusion about all of this, I entertained him with a huffed laugh. "Yeah, I spilled honey all over my shorts without realizing it, and I had ants all over me in a matter of minutes. I was terrified."

"I was highly amused."

I shoved him. "Yeah, dork, I know you were! You and Seraphina both thought it was the funniest thing on the planet, and then your mom had to come out and spray me down with a hose before I came back in the house."

Spencer barked a laugh, and I wanted to punch it right out of his mouth.

"Tell me again why this is relevant to our current situation?" I reminded him with and sigh, already over his antics.

Thankfully he seemed to take pity on me; He reached a hand out and played with a strand of my hair, smiling even brighter than when I opened the door for him. "That's when I started to feel it. You were just... so cute all angry at me and Sera for laughing, and it... It changed everything."

"You know, that would be more romantic if I hadn't been covered in bugs," I responded with a laugh.

"It's true! And it confused the hell out of me, because how was I supposed to cope with the fact that I actually had a crush on my little sister's best friend like some stupid cliché? You were always so feisty after that, too, and it certainly didn't help... And when I graduated and went off to college, I thought... I thought there was no chance you would ever be able to break the heart you'd managed to steal."

He swiped his thumb gently over my bottom lip and smiled, his eyes going all tear-y again. It sent butterflies through my whole body.

"I would never even dream of breaking your heart, Spencer..."

Our foreheads pressed together then, and the unwavering adoration in his voice when he spoke made me forget all prior confusion and minor embarrassment over re-living our origins.

All that mattered was that he was here, holding me in his arms and making me feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

"I know you won't, Honeybee."

———

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[luxwritesfanfic]

Bedside Manners

Sherlock figures out who the father is and the cat has the reader’s tongue. Or, the reader reads auras and Sherlock realizes that maybe The Woman has nothing on the one he already has. Thanks for reading!

Sherlock Holmes/Reader

You hadn’t seen Sherlock in over a week.

It had all happened so fast you could barely keep up. One moment you’re out on a case with John and the next Sherlock is heavily involved with a woman who you only knew as beautiful, powerful, and way smarter than you. 

It was too much to be around him and his constant texts with his very specific ringtone so you had decided in order to save your friendship, you’d mourn your imaginary relationship in peace. He hadn’t called or texted, but since technically this was a case you didn’t expect him to. Usually, you were working the case right alongside him. You honestly hadn’t thought he noticed you were gone.

You were cocooned under the blankets watching old recorded episodes of Maury when your phone went off.

Can I come over? SH

And then, right after:

I’m coming over. John told me it was polite to ask but I know your work schedule and I know you’re home. SH

Your lips gave way to an involuntary smile at that. It shouldn’t surprise you as much as it did that Sherlock knew so much about you because you have spent most of your days together as of late, but it still made you feel special even if it was a little odd. Sherlock Holmes coming to your flat was the last thing you expected tonight and you were nowhere near prepared. Sherlock had never shown any interest in seeing where you lived before and it wasn’t that shocking seeing as you spent more nights on his sofa than you did in your bed. You got up and tried your best to tidy up, put on some better looking pajamas and unlocked the door for him.

The door’s unlocked. Y/I

You got back under the blankets and made sure to leave room for Sherlock to sit, too. It wasn’t long after you sent the text that you heard steps coming towards your bedroom door. You hardly expected him to show up in his pajamas and horrible-- but so cute, you thought-- bedhead but there he was in all of his glory. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days and you weren’t sure you wanted to know what (or who) kept him up all night. His lips were fixed in what you could only describe as a pout and he looked like he was on a mission to decipher you as soon as his knees bumped the bottom of your bed. 

Shades of blue and purple complimented his complexion tonight. You tilted your head back to see the colors better and tried to find where the light was stemming from. Before you could even say hello or finish your analysis, Sherlock was on your bed and pulling away at your blanket cocoon to invite himself underneath. You let him, of course, and realized this is the closest you had ever been to him. It felt like it could be a normal night routine and your heart ached.

It was then that it fully hit you how much you missed him. You had hoped that the way he was acting now was a reflection of how much he missed you, too, but getting your hopes up never did bode well for you. Remembering the reason you hadn’t been around all that much hit you like a freight train and you wondered if he saw right through you.

He got settled and you both sat together in silence watching as the program played. You couldn’t imagine that he came all this way just to watch telly with you and your curiosity got the better of you. “Sherlock,” you started, turning your head to face his profile, “why’d you come over here?”

“Do I ask you that when you’re at my house?” He shot back quickly, his eyes never leaving the TV. While that would sound rude to anyone else, you knew that tone. He was anxious.

“You always invite me over. You don’t have to ask.” You countered. 

“Hardly my fault you don’t invite me over. That says more about you than it does me.” Sherlock finally turned to face you and you thought he looked like ethereal with the TV light cast on his face. How you loved him so.

You could tell he was avoiding whatever it was that was bothering him and figured if he came here to sit in silence with you, you could do that for him. Turning back to the TV, you brought the blankets up even further around you two.

“He’s the father,” Sherlock said minutes before the talk show host announced it, “and you’ve been... avoiding me.” So he did notice. Just as you were about to deny it, he added, “do not lie to me. We know each other far too well for that.” 

You sighed. You really didn’t want to have this conversation with him now, or ever, but here Sherlock was snuggled up in your bed with you secretly worried that you haven’t been around. If you’ve read all the signs up until this point wrong, well, you get an A for trying. 

You could feel blue eyes boring into you and he was surely expecting an explanation. “I don’t know. This case has just been a lot on me.” 

You didn’t know what else to say. Everything involving Irene Adler was too much for you and you thought if you pretended it wasn’t going on, you’d be able to forget about it and move past it. Of course the “it” you were trying to move past was laying in your bed with you. 

You didn’t have to further elaborate because just as Sherlock was about to speak, his phone moaned. Figures.

You couldn’t hide it if you tried. She was texting him late at night and he didn’t even seemed surprised so that meant she had been texting him late at night. Your body slumped immediately and you cursed yourself because you knew Sherlock was watching. You didn’t want him to see you so weak.

“Irene Adler.” He murmured, talking more to himself than you. “You’ve been avoiding me because of Irene Adler. I don’t understand.” 

He truly was lost at this point. How Sherlock could be so brilliant but so blind was an anomaly you’d never understand. You looked at him as he tried processing this new piece of information and you could see that it wasn’t adding up for him. He couldn’t possibly understand how hearing the love of your life’s ringtone for another woman being a moan would ruin someone’s mood. It was too far beyond him.

“Sherlock, it’s fine-- it’s not her. It’s not you. I’ve just been tired. It’s me.” You try reasoning with him but it’s no use, he already off on his mental tangent. He sat up farther in bed and brushed his fingers against his lips. Something suddenly dawned on him and he was shoving his phone in your hands.

“Our texts, read them. She keeps asking me to have a night with her and I never reply. I don’t want to. Look.” He’s urging you to look at this point, and you’re unsure of what he’s trying to prove that for. You didn’t think he knew that you’d be jealous, and frankly, you didn’t think he’d care. But it was unlike you to keep him waiting, so you started to read their message thread and he was right. He had literally never responded and at this revelation you looked up at him.

Sherlock was watching for your reaction, that much was clear. Still sat up, he looked down on you as you read and met your eyes with an emotion you couldn’t discern.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Sherlock. You’re a grown man, and you’re allowed to do, and see, whoever you want.” You watched as his aura got stronger as you spoke and you wondered what he was feeling. It looked like it was coming in waves.

“Not at the cost of our relationship. She is not worth a damn to me, especially if it means losing you.” Sherlock was serious now, and that took you by surprise. You had never expected him to say anything like that about you, much less in this context. You started to wonder if all of your hopeless unrequited feelings weren’t so unrequited after all.

Now you were sitting up, and you were sitting knee to knee next to each other. “You won’t lose me. You will never lose me, Sherlock, I need you to understand that.” You matched his tone, speaking in earnest.

“Besides, if I ever did get lost, you would come find me. You wouldn’t be able to resist the game.” You offered him a smile to try and lighten your heavy confession, and when he took it, yours turned into a grin. 

You really didn’t know how you got lucky enough to love someone as beautiful as Sherlock. It takes everything in you not to lean over and kiss him stupid.

You don’t push him any farther tonight than what he’s already offered you because it’s more than enough. Instead, you lay back down and pat his pillow for him to lay next to you and start another episode of Maury. He lays back down and he’s the calmest you’ve seen him all night.

“If you guess the outcome of the episode correctly within the first three minutes, I’ll make you breakfast in the morning.” You challenged, looking over at him like he put the stars in the sky himself. And in your world, he did.

“The game is on.”

[asterekmess]

Heyo! So I’ve been in the sterek fandom for quite some time now and I’ve been wondering about how you would describe stiles’ personality?

I’ve never actually sat down and watched a full episode of teen wolf (and honestly I’m not sure if I ever will considering everything I’ve heard about how they treat derek and his history but idk who knows I’m very curious in a lot of the plot lines and character development), and a lot of the stuff I know about the show I’ve scraped from fics, gifs, and meta posts

For me personally, Stiles’ personality and characterization is so fluid and nuanced that sometimes I have trouble pinning him down (tho derek doesn’t have trouble with that *wink wink*) So I would love to hear your thoughts! Sorry for the long ask, this grew legs and an ugly mug shdhdhhdjdcj anyhow have a great day :D

Well, everybody's got different perspectives and opinions on Stiles' personality, honestly. Even when you try to stick to 'canon' things, there's a lot of room for interpretation on the why when he does things, or what it says about him as a person, etc etc etc.

Personally, I see canon Stiles as kind of an asshole. I mean, I love him, and he does some incredible things, and he's clearly got an intense love for those close to him. But I do make him kinder in fics, or I at least make him regret being a dick.

In canon, we're given a Stiles who cracks 'dead baby' jokes (he's talking about human sacrifice, so the conversation was already plenty morbid. This wasn't out of the blue.) Who begs for Scott to let Jackson die (though it's made clear that this wasn't serious, and he later works to save Jackson's hide like ten times over), and who will mercilessly poke and prod at people's insecurities or painful pasts, especially when worked up. Isaac's previous abuse isn't a no-go topic. Derek having 'dated' (read: been assaulted at worst and at best, been lied to) serial killers isn't something he's going to tread lightly around. He doesn't try to soften things to save someone's feelings most of the time.

He's presented as someone who is incredibly impulsive, with his emotions, words, and actions. It's kind of implied this is because of his ADHD, but that doesn't explain how often the impulsively cruel or harsh things he says aren't retracted or apologized for, or just generally regretted. Yes, ADHD people are impulsive, and yes sometimes our mouths get away from us and we can end up saying some Fucked Up shit to people because we literally couldn't control the words coming out. But that doesn't mean we're cruel or evil or mean. We still feel bad for doing those things, and those of us who are decent people, try to fix or repair what we've messed up. I am...not a fan of how often ADHD is used as an excuse to make a character a dickhead because "he has no filter." No filter means we struggle to control our thoughts and what we say, it doesn't make us heartless.

So, when I'm writing him, I fix it. Even if he still Does something fucked up, I have him care that he did it. I have him realize what he did or said wasn't okay and respond to that knowledge in some way. Which to some people, means I'm just ignoring what a fucker he is, but imo it feels like a horrible fuckup on the creator's parts, so I'm just correcting the mistake. He's no less Stiles just bc I taught him to say sorry.

Anyway. I'm trying NOT to ramble here.

To answer your question, as best I can; Stiles is sarcastic. Stiles is passionate to a fault. His emotions are BIG, whatever they are. Good, Bad, or even apathy. Whatever feelings he has are just intense. He is very much a no gods, no kings, no masters, kind of man. There isn't really an 'authority' to him, except maybe his dad sometimes. He puts family, and those he considers family, First. But that doesn't mean he isn't selfless. Because he is. Incredibly so. Uncomfortably so.

He walks into gasoline for his friends. He puts himself in the position of losing the only parent he has left, for his classmates. He cares enough about strangers to insist a drunk girl he's spoken to for five minutes max stay hydrated and give her a bottle of water. He literally handed over his mind on a platter to a fox demon for someone he barely fucking knew, to keep her safe.

Loyal. Humorous. A fighter. Family-oriented. Clever. Passionate. Strong, physically, mentally, and emotionally. And a very good liar, in my opinion.

He doesn't lie very well in the show, not to people's faces. He'll stumble around a "I haven't seen him since the last time I saw him" or "are you asking me to tell you what I would have told you if I were going to tell you it?" but at the same time, he can repress and hide away his feelings and his pain in a way not even Derek manages.

He asked Caitlin questions about her girlfriend, and worked to solve the human sacrifices, literal minutes after finding out he'd just lost his oldest friend. He drove Lydia to the warehouse to save Jackson after having the shit beat out of him by a man who'd been learning to cause pain since he was a CHILD. And he never gives away how incredibly broken he is for more than a couple seconds. and it's a little frightening, because he convinces people in this show who are lie detectors that he's okay, when he's a fucking mess. Even Derek shows his pain.

You're right that he's nuanced, and part of that is because when you see him in meta or in fic, what you're seeing is a dozen versions of him sort of compressed into a flat image. Because he changes throughout the show, and while some of his core personality stays the same, a lot of stuff changes. So one fic might harp on his insensitivity, and callousness toward Isaac or how easily he says "just let them die" when talking about Derek or someone else. And then another will dive into how fucking far he's willing to go, travelling all the way to mexico and facing down a hunter clan a dozen times more powerful than the argents with no one but a banshee at his side, just to get Derek back. Or how he saw Malia hurting and sat with her on a couch and held her hand. One is a much earlier version of Stiles, from the start of the show, the other from his midpoint. Near the end, you're able to say that he was so torn about leaving Derek while he was dying, he had to be Begged to go save Scott. That he manipulated an ENTIRE FBI investigation in order to save and protect Derek. (im focusing on derek bc sterek, but also bc his relationship with Derek is the Biggest Arc he has in the show, and the most solid)

You're going to read about different versions of him, and I totally get how that's confusing.

We all sort of bleed ourselves into him and either bring certain canon characteristics to the forefront, or straight up add our own so he's more relatable to us.

So while I can't really help you pin down any specific Stiles, just know that there's not really a 'true' Stiles that anyone can confirm or deny. It's all just perception, so however you see him, go with it. Strengthen it. Explore it. I'm sure you'll find people who see what you do.

[awake-dearheart]

it took me a couple days but here’s a rundown of things sebastian said during the zoom call with his trainer don saladino and the march challenge group. he was on for an hour and three minutes total. keep in mind this challenge was fitness oriented so most of the questions revolve around that. this will also be LONG.

first of all he had trouble unmuting himself which was hilarious

he had a carboard cutout of the falcon with him which made everyone laugh

he loved being able to support ronald mcdonald house and he was sad they couldn’t go this year. sweet baby

when he was asked what he struggles with in his fitness he immediately said body dysmorphia. like no hesitation. he said he felt like he could stand to be less hard on himself.

he prefers cardio over other kinds of workouts.

he mentioned a role he’s getting ready for that’s “a lot different” but he laughed it off and said he couldn’t talk about it. i’m thinking it might have been tommy lee?

he tries to workout even just a little before he goes to set even when his schedule is crazy.

when he started training he had NO idea what he was doing. it took him a while to get into a routine and figure it out. he credited don with working a lot with him and finding a routine that works for him.

he feels better when he can do something physical every day. he said it really helps him mentally because the two go hand in hand for him.

someone said they were learning romanian and asked him for phrases to learn in romanian he said (in romanian) “oh my GOD why would you do that?” he also said he thinks people learning romanian because of him is “one of the sweetest things.”

he was asked how he balances training to look good vs training to feel good and he said if he’s training to look good he’s never 100% satisfied. training to feel good and setting short term goals has been better for him. 

don praised him for working hard to pivot his focus on the overall vs the day to day. seb said it was a lot harder when he started than it is now.

someone asked him if the workouts or the nutrition was harder and he immediately started talking about pizza and how much he loves a good cheat meal. the chat blew up talking about his cheat day video for men’s health. 

seb asked don his favorite cheat meal and they went on a tangent about burgers and fries and vodka that had us cracking up. seb said he went through a period where he was eating some kind of chocolate every day.

someone asked if he found it mentally difficult to go from one body type to another for roles and he said absolutely. he said if he has a shirtless scene to do then a month before he cuts out ALL sugar. fruits, carbs, everything and he turns into a very irritable person for about two weeks.

he was asked how the pandemic has changed his training and he said of course it has. him and don worked together to create a program for him to do from home with dumbbells and they had to get inventive. he’s been running a lot too.

someone asked the strangest item he’s used for weights and he said he’d go to the grocery store by himself without uber or anything. he tried to do one big shopping trip to last him for a week and half and he’d be laden with bags and it took him an hour and a half to walk home.

he told a story about using a towel and a bar in his house and he said “you probably know it because some “super fans” love to leak my address. so kind. lovely people.” the chat became v enraged.

he’s never had to get in shape on super short notice. marvel usually gives him about a 2 month heads up before he has to shoot things.

someone asked if he was a dog person. he said he loves dogs and he’d love to have one but he travels too much to give one the right kind of attention. he said if he could have a dog he’d have a bulldog or a husky.

he was asked his favorite nyc cheat meal and his first answer was “seeing all of you there” and we all cracked up. his real answer was a pizza place called rubirosa. he specifically likes their white pizza. (who wants to go to new york and get pizza with me?)

who would win in an iso squat challenge? him or don? (iso squats are when you drop into a squat and you hold it. it’s been the most hated exercise throughout the challenge). his face was HORRIFIED when he remembered what they are and he said don would definitely win. “don you have thighs of glory” the group is contemplating making shirts.

he played some sports in school but he wasn’t a super athletic kid. he struggled in school a bit because he had an accent and people were picking on him. it took a long time for his confidence to build.

celebrate victories where you can. he talked about when he posted that shirtless picture from the gym as an example. he said it’s more for motivation and pride in his achievements than about showing off.

he mentioned the documentary “the weight of gold” as something he watched recently. he said it’s a good example of people who are gold medal olympians struggling with the same things as everyone else when it comes to fitness. he comes back several times to not being too hard on yourself. 

he hasn’t lifted any weights in about a month and a half but he’s been running. he’s surprised at the amount of muscle he still has because he thought he’d lose a lot of it.

taking breaks when you’re working on fitness is so important. he says taking a week off sometimes is ok if that’s what you need.

they have talked about pizza at least 5 times at this point (32 minutes in) and it’s HILAROUS honestly.

he hates leg day. he knows how important it is because you need strong legs but he prefers doing arms and chest. “the squats can be so annoying UGH.”

someone asked him his advice for people who are starting an acting career and he laughed and said “quit all social media.” he walked it back and said you have to find a way to quiet the noise. 

this mfer went to theatre camp when he was 15 and he did MUSICALS. we tired to get him to sing. it didn’t work.

“you gotta do you. you cannot lose you as you’re going. and you cannot care what people think.”

he talked about imposter syndrome in terms of getting reviews and stuff. he said when he gets bad reviews it hurts but sometimes when he gets good reviews he can think “oh my god they made a mistake” or “oh my god i have to deliver like this every time.” he said if you’re starting out ask yourself why you want to do this and make sure this is what you want to do day in a day out. make sure when you face rejection and obstacles you have the energy to push you to get back up and say “fuck you i’m doing me.”

recommended the book “the subtle art of not giving a fuck” as something he loves.

“there’s creativity in everything. you don’t have to be a pianist or an actor or a writer. there’s creativity in all functions. as people we’re all creative.”

he went back to instagram for a minute and said to use it for the right things and follow the things that you like or are inspired by. he loves that social media can be used to reach people but you have to filter through the negative stuff.

someone asked the meanest thing don’t ever said during training and he said don’s never been mean but he’s always been inspiring and motivating for him. cute lil bromance moment.

he was asked if it’s harder to get into shape physically for the winter soldier or mentally. he said now it’s more of a head thing than it was in the beginning. the physically part was challenging for him in the beginning because he wanted to feel strong to build his confidence. he felt he couldn’t be bucky without being strong. 

civil war was his real hair but when they started filming it wasn’t long enough so he had extensions. by the end of the shoot it was long enough to cut the extensions out. 

the line between overtraining and not being motivated to train enough is hard for him sometimes. things tend to come all at once or not at all and it can be a struggle. 

he meditates and does some kind of physical activity every day at the start of his day. it makes him able to do the things he needs to do for the rest of the day better.

he thanked everyone for their support of tfaws and “making us look pretty good.” he’s very grateful for the turnout.

don says falcon weird. that’s not important but i wanted to mention it.

running is his go to thing. he feels like it’s a good meditative thing for him.  his go to pandemic workout was 100 pull ups, 100 push ups, 100 sit ups, 100 squats and alternating with running. we all panicked and were like “100 PULL UPS AT ONCE??” and he was like no no no no no no no no space that shit out during the day.

he loves breakfast but he doesn’t eat it at breakfast time. he joked he was going to eat breakfast after the call (which ended at 7PM). he likes anything with eggs and avocado. 

there are still directors he wants to work with that he can’t get to see him for parts. he did three audition tapes, two in person auditions, and a screen test to get bucky.

he just recently learned what “thirst pics” are (he figured out from the chat it’s thirst traps). when someone told him that picture from the gym was a thirst trap he was like “oh great well that sounds terrible.” men’s health didn’t call him until after that pic. he had reached out to them before that but that was the thing that made them call.

“make fun of yourself. you have to not take yourself too seriously.”

they both talked about how being able to do things like this is a privilege. there are always days when seb or don or anyone walks into a gym and doesn’t want to be there.

this is the part that made me emotional as FUCK. he’s had days where he’s gone to set and been like “what the fuck am i doing?” he says every time that happens he thinks “this is the time they’re gonna realize i can’t do this. this is when they’re all gonna know i’ve never been good at this.” he said in those moments you can’t just say “no no no i’m the best.” he said sometimes affirmations work and they can be as simple as “i’m gonna try to have a good day today” and it doesn’t have to be “i have to be the best version of myself.” it can just be “i wanna have a good day today” but on the days when you don’t feel good about things and don’t know what you’re doing he said you have to go there and say “ok i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing. fuck everything.” be in the thing that’s happening to you and give yourself permission to be down for a minute. find a compromise with yourself. if you can’t run the same three miles you’ve run all week and you just don’t want to, maybe you go for a walk instead. (his example not mine i DO NOT run). when he’s been in those moments of defeat accepting it had lead him to things he didn’t plan for and he finds those moments to be gifts in a way. accepting it and saying “today is that day” your body and your mind can start moving into finding other little things to do.

he came back to pizza one more time. i love him.

he recognizes how lucky he is to have the life he has. he says it’s important to pay attention to give a fuck about things and to give a fuck about things that will help other people. 

watching him talk the whole time he seemed so happy and relaxed. he seems like such a light hearted and fun person and he laughed SO much

that’s the end y’all. thanks for sticking around and reading all my hastily typed notes

[sagamemes]

the sheridan tapes  📼  part two.   here and under the cut, you can find over 130 lines of dialogue from the horror podcast the sheridan tapes, specifically from episodes four to six, edited for roleplay purposes. some of these focus heavily on survival, war, science, and spooky stuff, but a lot can be used by anyone.  tw:  war, unreality, a mention of cannibalism, implications of manic behaviour.

❝  god, i hate snowstorms like this. not just getting caught in them, but the storms themselves. it feels like the earth’s trying to bury me alive every time it locks in like this. like nature’s rightly pissed off at all of us and doing its level best to crush us to death.  ❞

❝  that’s what yom kippur means:  the day of atonement.  ❞

❝  that wasn’t the first time i’ve caught him in my office, going through my stuff.  ❞

❝  normally i’d be annoyed at someone calling me young lady.  ❞

❝  thank you… you are so warm… thank you for letting me in.  ❞

❝  suddenly, everything fell into place. i made more progress than i had in about half a year.  ❞

❝  the thing i remember most was catching disapproving glances from my father every time i went to the library.  ❞

❝  why does time only run forward?  why does cause need to precede effect?  ❞

❝  no one knows if they can trust me with casework or not.  ❞

❝  i didn’t say i was interested.  ❞

❝  [he/i] was taken off duty and sent for psychiatric evaluation the next day.  ❞

❝  coffee. i was making coffee.  ❞

❝  i didn't mean to get stuck out here.  ❞

❝  that just goes to show how small humans really are in the grand scheme of things:  take away our tools and our toys and our technology, and we’re still just as vulnerable as we ever were.  ❞

❝  she was good at that:  making you feel like you were safe, like you could open up to her.  ❞

❝  i’m just going to cover that one up. no harm in keeping it out of sight for the moment.  ❞

❝  maybe there was someone in the stairs.  ❞

❝  i think i did the lion’s share of the talking, which almost never happens.  ❞

❝  i couldn’t get to sleep... i figured i’d get a head start today.  ❞

❝  i’m afraid i don’t have all of the details of your involvement with the… tragic events in [place]. and i don’t think i’m the only one.  ❞

❝  i’m still not sure i understand the whole tradition.  ❞

❝  whatever it is, it’s chasing me. i can hear it’s footsteps in the snow, i can hear it—  ❞

❝  when you work nights here, the less you really think about them, the better.  ❞

❝  honestly, i just can’t get it out of my head.  ❞

❝  snow is one of nature’s simplest and most effective ways of killing you dead if you aren’t prepared for it.  ❞

❝  i wish you’d tell me what you’re doing here. i could lose my job if anything gets broken or if you end up getting hurt in there…  ❞

❝  would you say you… considered her a friend?  ❞

❝  would you mind saying your name again?  for the recording?  ❞

❝  if that was true, then there was something—and as a scientist, i hate to say this—supernatural going on in that lab.  ❞

❝  most of them didn’t make it. a lot of them died afraid and alone, too.  ❞

❝  i know you don’t like listening to these things, so i just wanted to help you out with…  ❞

❝  if i could sleep, then trust me, i would.  ❞

❝  i’m guessing the new owners are trying to make this place seem less creepy than it already is.  ❞

❝  my schooling was expensive and unremarkable.  ❞

❝  a lot of them died afraid and alone, too:  ideal conditions for the making of poltergeists, in my experience.  ❞

❝  look, i’m sorry, but this really isn’t a good time for anything, so if you wouldn’t mind…  ❞

❝  basically, i was picturing a slightly creepier morticia addams. i couldn’t have been more wrong.  ❞

❝  now i have to deal with [name]’s aspirations to write drama..  ❞

❝  i promise i won’t get you sacked.  ❞

❝  i’ve never been very religious, but for some reason… it made me think of hell.  ❞

❝  i think it may have been a thank you.  ❞

❝  i’m working the graveyard shift and i noticed the lights were on.  ❞

❝  i shouldn’t be here. no one asked me to come in this early.  ❞

❝  everyone around here looks at me like i’m some kind of leper.  ❞

❝  i had to go home for a few hours. i’m already on thin ice around here, and i didn’t want to get in more trouble for screaming obscenities up and down the wall.  ❞

❝  it was… darkness. no, that doesn’t do it credit, the whole place was dark. this was just... void.  ❞

❝  if i’d seen her anywhere else, i’d think she was an athlete or a backpacker.  ❞

❝  better scientists than me have been bashing their heads into that particular wall since 1927.  ❞

❝  i just want you to know that… whatever you really are... you’re safe here.  ❞

❝  goats being goats, it would just come back the next day looking for food.  ❞

❝  i would like you to leave my office now… and i’ll ask you not to tamper with evidence in the future, understood?  ❞

❝  no, of course, i don’t have signal out here, so i can’t just call triple-a.  ❞

❝  what are you doing in my office—at four goddamn thirty in the morning?  ❞

❝  you ever wonder where the line is?  you know, between human and not?  ❞

❝  the funny thing i’ve noticed about war:  no matter how terrible the fighting is, there always seems to be too much waiting. too much quiet. too much sitting around, bored to tears between fits of chaos and violence, lost in routine while waiting for the other shoe to drop.  ❞

❝  a lot of people condemn them for that. we’re so sure we’d never resort to that—that we’d rather die than cross that unspoken boundary.  ❞

❝  i’ve been at the [workplace/institution] for ten years now. that’s long enough to know that the ones who ask questions are the ones who can’t cut it.  ❞

❝  the program blew every fuse in the lab. including the lights.  ❞

❝  it was soon after they left that i began to have trouble sleeping.  ❞

❝  perhaps we never knew each other as well as most friends do, but… we cared for one another.  ❞

❝  most of her questions are a bit above my pay grade.  ❞

❝  i’m trying, i’m trying! i can’t get the door open!  ❞

❝  i don’t know why she needed my help:  i think she had a better grasp of it than most science fiction writers.  ❞

❝  we both had places to be afterwards, so we kind of rushed. i really wish i’d taken the time to say goodbye.  ❞

❝  i guess some things just… don’t want to stay buried.  ❞

❝  it was completely against orders of course, but no one really noticed or cared that far from the front.  ❞

❝  i offered to buy him a cup of coffee.  ❞

❝  newspapers praised them at the time:  saw them as heroes of exploration and paragons of pioneer courage.  ❞

❝  i signed a lot of big, scary nda’s during my time there.  ❞

❝  i did the only thing that came to mind:  i took a grenade from my belt, removed the pin, and threw it.  ❞

❝  i doubt this storm will last more than a couple of days, and once it lets up we can sneak out of here and get going again. very, very carefully.  ❞

❝  given enough time, everything will rot away to its elementary components, and that, you can’t reverse.  ❞

❝  i really can’t see anything from inside the van.  ❞

❝  i knew there were a few experiments that dealt with some pretty high-level theoretical concepts, but i wasn’t directly involved with any of them.  ❞

❝  it’s a strange choice, but then again, he’s a strange man.  ❞

❝  i know, it sounds ridiculous. trust me, i’ve done everything i can think of to make that conclusion go away.  ❞

❝  scared the bejeezus out of a bunch of skiers, but they were nice enough to let me in after deciding i probably wasn’t a ghost.  ❞

❝  please… it burns my skin… please…  ❞

❝  i forgot how fast storms blow in up here.  ❞

❝  it’s not like i felt out of control:  it felt more natural than breathing.  ❞

❝  i didn’t know what i was doing, not at any conscious level. but one step seemed to lead to another, then the next, and then the next.  ❞

❝  it’s called a butcher’s shop in some places, but a mortuary in others. as much as i’d love to imply there was some sweeney todd style recycling going on here, i think the place has just been a lot of things over the years.  ❞

❝  god, these things are creepy as hell.  ❞

❝  if you wouldn’t mind, please, tell us what happened? in your own time, of course.  ❞

❝  it took a few long, nerve-wracking days to work up my courage and visit the section again.  ❞

❝  it’s not that odd to think that people ate each other out there.  ❞

❝  i didn’t think there was a ghost in my room or anything like that, i just kept hearing noises whenever i was about to fall asleep.  ❞

❝  i downed half a dozen energy drinks at 6 and called it dinner—i know, i know, it’s a nasty habit i picked up in grad school.  ❞

❝  they told me that the cpu and motherboard had somehow been melted into a solid lump of plastic and silicon.  ❞

❝  i mean, [name] was a pain in the ass, but at least he didn’t…  ❞

❝  my schedule was full, but i had something else fall through at the last minute. i had your number on my desk, so i thought i may as well call.  ❞

❝  i wonder if it was afraid, or if it even realized what was going to happen. it probably didn’t.  ❞

❝  i need to get more coffee. or punch someone. whichever’s more convenient.  ❞

❝  god, if that’s really how i sound…  ❞

❝  people think i write horror, but i don’t really think that’s true. i just write fiction with all of the comfortable little lies taken out of it.  ❞

❝  i have loved the stars too truly to be fearful of the night.  ❞

❝  i think he felt something about this place… some influence or power that needed to be destroyed, so he tried to do it the only way he knew how.  ❞

❝  well, it’s a tricky thing. the more realistic you make them, the more… unreal they start to look. i think it’s something about the eyes.  ❞

❝  i offered to stay late, just to smooth things over.  ❞

❝  maybe i can get some writing done while i’m stuck here…  ❞

❝  no child could grow up in a jewish home surrounded by books and not read at least one story about golems.  ❞

❝  i just wasn’t a good student, despite my love of reading.  ❞

❝  i have to say, i like your jane doe.  ❞

❝  she was a scientist herself.  maybe not formally, but her way of thinking, her insight, her methods... they were scientist’s qualities.  ❞

❝  seriously, what do i need to do to get a little privacy around here, a little dignity?  hang a  ‘ do not disturb ’  sign on the door?  change all my locks?  ❞

❝  maybe it was stupid, but i figured, ‘ hey, early december, not a cloud in the sky—should still be fine, right? ’  ❞

❝  jesus, [name], i wasn’t born yesterday.  ❞

❝  maybe doing this while it’s still dark outside isn’t the best idea.  ❞

❝  more than a century and a half have passed, and this place is still just as dangerous as it was then.  ❞

❝  now, [mr./ms./mx. name], i’m sure you know why you’re here.  ❞

❝  the [event] was a bust—only about a dozen people showed up all afternoon.  ❞

❝  i never put much stock in the idea of inspiration, but for the first time in my life, it felt like i wasn’t pushing myself through the muck of miscalculation and guesswork towards a solution. i was being pulled towards an answer that already existed.  ❞

❝  it felt like i was a few steps from finding out something fundamental. some truth about our universe that no other scientist had ever dared to dream of.  ❞

❝  huh. that’s… that’s weird. i could’ve sworn there wasn’t a sculpture back there before.  ❞

❝  apparently, no one had told them what i was doing, and i wasn’t actually cleared to leave.  ❞

❝  maybe he’s trying to make amends. keeping watch over these half-living things to make sure no harm comes to them.  ❞

❝  i expected the building to be wreathed in shadow and overgrown with cobwebs, but it's actually really nice.  ❞

❝  sorry, i was trying to get my recorder working, but it froze up on me so i had to find a tape for this old…  ❞

❝  okay. just… don’t get me sacked, alright?  can’t exactly retire on this salary.  ❞

❝  but if it was real—i don’t know if i somehow created it, or if it was feeding me information about itself before it appeared.  ❞

❝  i’ve never had a manic episode before, and i was well below the level of caffeine needed to cause intoxication. as far as i can tell, there isn’t a medical explanation for what happened.  ❞

❝  i don’t get the appeal of meeting real celebrities. it’s just a cheap shock of recognition, and nothing more.  ❞

❝  whatever this… thing was, it sounds pretty dangerous.  ❞

❝  are you familiar with temporal asymmetry?  ❞

❝  i just want to make that abundantly clear:  this /wasn’t/ the plan.  ❞

❝  right then, now let’s get started. please state your name and rank for the record.  ❞

❝  though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light.  ❞

❝  a cracker of a book, young lady.  ❞

❝  no wonder they’re keeping them in storage. they’d give anyone nightmares.  ❞

❝  i was just going to finish out my shift unless… you want me to stick around?  ❞

❝  i went to the university, but don’t remember much of the years i spent there.  ❞

❝  having to study textbooks and essays day in and day out took all of the joy out of reading for a long time.  ❞

❝  we call paradoxes paradoxes for a reason:  no matter how plausible they seem, they can never really happen.  ❞

❝  i don’t know what happened to me that night. i still don’t even know if what i saw was real.  ❞

❝  when we look into the void for too long, we find the monsters instead.  ❞

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Bucky Barnes’ adoptive child

Bucky Barnes x child!reader

warnings: knife

a/n:

prompt: @multifandomlover121: “i adored your natasha romanoff’s child headcanons! could you do one with bucky barnes and him adopting a child? thank you!!”

bucky saw someone in need and wanted to help them

that someone was you

he would have wanted someone to do the same for him

“are you okay, kid?”

“i’m fine...”

“are you sure?”

“...no”

you kinda started crying and ran off

but that wasnt the last time he had seen you

the more he’d run into you, the more he’d check on you, offer you food/water/shelter

“i really don’t mind, it’s the least i could do”

“are you sure?”

“i am”

you began to trust bucky more as time went on, he really was helpinh you out of the kindness of his heart

and buck became more protective of you, of course

soon enough he saw you as his child and you saw him as your father, neither of you had had a bond like that before

“i’m going to the market, do you want anything?”

“uh, peaches?”

“got it, be back in a while, don’t answer the door for anyone”

“got it, pa”

that was the first time you called him “pa” and he shut the door behind him and stood there in SHOCK he was so ???!!!!

you asked him about his life, and at first he didn’t want to tell you much

“pleaseee? it all seems so interesting”

“well, i don’t remember it much. and everything i do remember isn’t very great”

“is that why you’re lying low?”

“yeah...that’s one of them”

“can you tell my how you got your metal arm?”

you tried not to pry but you were disappointed that he wouldn’t open up to you

he knew just about everything about the short past you had, all the highs and lows of your messy childhood before he met you

bucky lived in a one bedroom apartment, so he gave you the bedroom and slept on the couch

honestly you guys led your lives mainly inside the apartment just to stay safe

and filling the day was a bit difficult, but you managed

“can i watch tv?”

“after the news”

“you said that twenty minutes ago”

“well, it’s not over yet. just watch it with me”

“can i pleaaaase watch tv?”

that “pleaaaase” always makes him cave

you two also baked together! it calms his nerves

especially when he can smell cookies/brownies/cake/etc baking in the oven, it’s his favorite

“are you sure we’re making these right, y/n?”

“no, i am not.”

helping him clean his arm sometimes

he couldn’t get in the crevices

one day you were watching tv and it said that bucky was wanted for a bombing, which couldnt be true because that was in vienna and you were far from there

“so that’s what you didn’t want to tell me? you’re a...”

“a terrorist? an assassin? an 100 year old man? i...i wish i wasn’t, but i had no choice. i can’t remember everything that happened to me, but i don’t want to. this new life is good for me and you. and i promise i would never do anything to hurt you”

“i know, pa, i trust you more than anyone else on earth. but...what does this mean for us now? the whole world is looking for you”

“nothing, they wont find us here. i’m going to the market for plums, though. keep the door and windows locked”

“yes sir”

“love you, kid”

“love you, pa”

and the next thing you know the door has been opened and you do not know what to do so you hide because that’s the plan you and bucky came up with just in case and next thing you know there’s sounds of fighting, things breaking, yelling

it’s time to come out

“pa? pa, where are you?”

“y/n, get down!”

“bucky, who is that?” -cap

“my kid”

steve immediately: ????¿???

ur WHAT

anywhooo you ended up running with them and not able to keep up bc they were kinda enhanced 100 year old men and you were baby

so the falcon, the REAL DEAL MAN RIGHT THERE had to give you a helping hand

“you doing alright, kid?”

“to be honest, i’ve never flown before”

✨getting arrested with pa and the crew✨

you sat next to steve rogers

“so, you’re bucky’s...child?”

“he took me in a while ago, we were both in a dark place”

“has he told you about his past?”

“i ask but he cant remember most of it, and what he does remember, he’s too ashamed to say. he just recently told me he used to be an assassin...and he’s and eldery man”

“hey, whatever happens to buck—your dad, i just want to let you know that i’ll be here for you, okay? he was my best friend growing up, i owe it to him”

it’s a feat to be a minor caught by the CIA but look at you go

you had to explain how you and bucky became family, which they were not buying even though every word was true

releasing you to steve bc he had some pull

oh yeah bucky kinda sorta went feral and you insisted you’d be able to calm him down but it doesn’t exactly work that way

“pa! i’m right here, it’s me! please, stop it!”

“y/n, you need to get out of here, it’s not safe!”

“i can’t leave him like this!”

escaping the CIA and waiting for your dad to wake up, this is where he regained his full memory

once he was free of the debris, he gave you a big hug and apologized with tears in his eyes (why the fuck am i rhyming)

“i’m sorry if i scared you, dragă”

“i couldn’t ever be scared of you”

steve was so happy that bucky was happy dhshshshhshs

being pushed in the backseat with pa

sharing your granola bar

since bucky remembered some good thinsg about his past, he thought it may be time to share!

“yeah, so me and steve were best friends, right? steve always picked fights with every bully he met, despite being less than half the weight he is now. i always had to swoop in and save the day”

“i can’t believe you were born in 1917. my father is a world war two veteran”

“how impressive” -sam, also a war vet

honestly they didn’t expect THAT much resistance at the airport but everyone knew you were off limits

excellent spiderman who webbed your hand to a car

luckily, your dad had taught you a thing or two and you got to hacking through these webs with your pocket knife

it took forever

but you finally escaped with your dad and who you’d soon call ‘uncle steve’

black widow nearly stopped you, you were very afraid :)

bucky made u stay in the jet “for your own safety”

“we don’t know what to expect in there, y/n. the last thing i want for you is to get hurt. i should have never dragged you into this”

steve casually talking to bucky about you being unofficially adopted by him

“so, you’re a dad?”

“that i am”

“what’s it like?”

“it’s like...finding a reason to get up every day. and a decent amount of compromise”

“sounds exciting”

“you have no idea”

finally being retrieved from the jet to see your dad with one arm

trippin out

but he told you it was alright

t’challa, new king of wakanda who was trying to end bucky’s life just a few hours ago had apologized and offered you sanctuary in his country

he SPECIFICALLY apologized to you, saying that it was unfair to you by trying to hurt your father because the pain of losing one is unbearable in his eyes

getting some much needed peace (not really bc you wanted to train with wakandan warriors)

and it paid off since you all had to fight off a hoard of aliens

“you think you can handle this, y/n?”

“oh yeah”

you definitely could not handle your dad turning to dust :)

:))))))

“y/n? steve?”

no nope no

steve had to take care of you on bucky’s five year hiatus from life (oh my god im sorry)

not a day went by that you didn’t think of him

it kinda sucked bc you didn’t have any pictures together or anything, only pictures from the 1940’s that steve pulled out every once in a while

“doing okay, y/n?”

“not really”

“do you want to come and watch a movie with me or something? im still not completely caught up on everything i missed”

after five years, there was a breakthrough and it was finally time to get your dad back

but he probably wouldn’t recognize you...you’ll find out soon enough

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiant // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

[painted-crow]

hey so i'm looking to figure my sorting out. i'm p sure of my secondary but honestly i've gone in circles so many times that i'd believe anything lmao

so i guess to start like. i'm fairly sure i'm an idealist, but with a twist. i care about making the world a better place-- i'm kinda infamous among my friends for being a little TOO outspoken about my opinions. on a small scale, i have strong opinions about a lot of things, but on a larger scale... idk. i don't think any one person can know what an ideal world looks like cause there really is no such thing. there are literally countless variables when it comes to implementing even small systems, countless ways to fuck it up, so i don't think i'd be choosing some grand ideal over the people i love anytime soon.

that being said, i think my idealist streak gets directed into something else most of the time. i'm very focused on understanding myself to a fault. i want to know why i do the things i do, why i believe certain things over others. when it comes to my beliefs about the world, they're strong but take it or leave it, but when it comes to myself they are not a good idea to push. i've ended relationships over not feeling like myself with them or feeling like i'm losing myself or they're pushing me to be someone i'm not. i make strong instant decisions about what the "right" thing to do is when it comes to how it impacts my perception of myself, especially with intimate relationships (i'm a lot less impulsive with things like friends and things i'm less personally involved in). i NEED to know who i am, way more than i care about any one specific person or thing. obviously i love people very deeply and would do just about anything to have both, but if i don't know who i am, if i'm not true to myself, then i have nothing. losing people happens.

the issue is, because i'm prone to doing that and not thinking as much about how it'll impact people, i've been called selfish a lot over my lifetime. recently i've started thinking more about how my actions impact people and their feelings, and i'm feeling a lot more torn. i want to do what i want to do, what i feel is best, but i feel immature for doing it a lot. i've started worrying a lot about being a bad person and hurting people, and i've been thinking about how the "right" way to be is. i went through a phase where i was repressing myself to make the "moral" choice, but i just felt so flat. ultimately i realized that it doesn't really matter how good i am if i have to repress myself to get there, cause then all it is is performance. tldr is i feel super guilty for making "selfish" choices rn, especially as i've gotten more aware of other peoples' feelings.

what i think is probably going on is that i'm an idealist primary with a badger model, but i'm not sure between lion and bird, and i'm still open to badger. pretty sure i'm not a snake.

the section on my secondary's gonna be a lot shorter, sorry this got so long! so i'm p sure i'm a badger secondary. considered lion and snake secondary too. whatever i am, i have a p loud lion model over it. i've always had a gift for making people trust me, for acting. i kinda blend in and become what i need to to both help them and get them off my back so i can do what i need to do. i have a serious passion for helping people with tough love (i like to think of myself as a p good advice giver, since i can both tell people what they need to hear and really get in their shoes and be kind where other people might not). i think i judge myself the least when i can kinda toe that line between pushing boundaries and stepping back-- i track where peoples' boundaries are constantly so i can push them to the limit without stepping over them. i'm very fluid when it comes to presentation in reality, even though i think people actually think of me as kinda controversial. i tend to see people who are ACTUALLY overstepping boundaries as lowkey selfish at times, even though i also really respect them. i like to do things the "right" way as long as i give a shit about them. the catch is, i don't want to blend into the background, and i don't think i do. a partner of mine called me a fox cause he noticed the way i constantly toe that line where i can get people to notice me and still keep them off my back, still make them comfortable. i'm also NOT a planner. people constantly give me shit for only ever feeling things out in the moment, and honestly thinking about the future freaks me out. i don't want to plan how i do shit i'd rather just get in the zone and figure it out from there. tldr i'm pretty sure i'm a badger secondary? but i could be convinced of snake. definitely see elements of both but my gut's telling me badger so take that how you will

anyway! thank you so much for taking the time to answer this, i know it's a lot.

also sorry one thing i forgot to add about my secondary! i think my lion model got so loud because when i do the shifty presentation thing, i have a tendency to lose myself and start perceiving myself as whatever i'm presenting. it's made it really hard to figure out who i actually am and so i started just being as clear about it as possible.

for my primary, i really care a lot about being right. i try to take every side into consideration to make sure i get the best conclusion. i can be super stubborn when it comes to certain things, but i don't want to just... hold to perceptions that are wrong. that being said it's important to me to trust my gut and i take it as a big input. i'm very felt out for most things, don't really have a strong system of how to be. i really wanna be able to trust myself but i just don't. i have a big habit of relying on other people to tell me what to think, which is uh. yeah.

Primary

You're a Bird primary with a Lion model, and you're trying on some Badger ideals. That's one of the easier Sorts I've done, lol! Possibly because your primary and models actually House match mine :p

Your reasoning process screams Bird xD and so does your writing style and just the length of the ask. Birds love self-analysis, it's part of how we make sure our systems stay as close to true as we can make them.

You've got some Lion too, but it's a model. It sounds like your Lion and your Bird have come into conflict before, and like most Birds with Lion models, it bugs the snot out of you when your Lion's intuition (which is important data!) doesn't line up with what your Bird knows.

You've prioritized Bird's conclusions before, but (as with many Birds) you don't entirely trust your own system and you're wondering if your Lion might have been right and you should give its reasoning more weight.

Also, you're consciously deciding that maybe Badgers' way of doing things is more moral than yours, and you're pulling in some of those ideals. That doesn't make you a Badger primary. Birds are notorious for this kind of thing actually 😂

The line between whether some ideals you've pulled into your Bird system vs. what counts as a model is fuzzy. It's up to you really, how important those pieces of Badger are to you.

For me, I think the line might be--is it wired into your sense of self on its own, or does it get filtered through your Bird and Lion? It really sounds like your Lion is a strong part of your sense of self: if you ignore its advice, you feel not totally like yourself. You don't have to feel all your models equally strongly, but thinking of it that way might help.

(It's also hard because Birds often feel like they kind of are their systems, or they are their ability to reason, that's a core part of their identity. ...It's complicated.)

Secondary

You sound really really Snakey. I'm not sure where you're getting Badger, actually!

Badgers are more than the mirroring ability. They also bury themselves in work or community, and it can sometimes look like they're neck deep in so many responsibilities that they couldn't possibly handle any more problems--and then they do have a problem, they do need something, and they stand up and all that stuff they were buried in turns out to be armor and tools.

Snakes, otoh, are improvisational and tend to be very aware of their surroundings. Unlike Badgers, the Snake brand of social shapeshifting involves a lot of keeping track of other people's reactions to what they're doing--trying something and then watching the response, then adjusting, rinse and repeat. You turn yourself into exactly the right person for this situation.

Badger mirroring is usually simpler. You reflect the other person's energy back at them: it's an empathetic response that says we're alike, I accept you, you're safe. A lot of Badgers do this without thinking--it can be hard to turn off.

Snakes also don't go in for prep work as much, it tends to trip them up (Snakes with Badger or Bird models notwithstanding). They're Improvisational secondaries, unlike Bird and Badger which are Built and rely heavily on some form of preparation.

The Lion model sounds legit, but just check for yourself: you might be learning to use Snake's neutral state. Snakes will sometimes drop all their layers of acting and maneuvering and suddenly they're just themselves. Different Snakes have different relationships with neutral state. For some Snakes, it's a relief to drop the mask; for others, it feels vulnerable and they only trust certain people with their full authenticity.

It does sound like you really admire Lion secondaries, though, so you might indeed have a model there! This is just something else you could check on.

Hope that helps!

- Paint

[yn-dreamlife]

Jealous Princess

Pairing: Don west x reader

Warnings: Shitty description (because I suck at writing them), angst, mentions/hints of mentions of sex, talks of aftercare, talks of subdrop (not specifically stated but if you know what they are you should be able to know when I'm talking about them), fluff, making up

Description: After the accident on the Resolute you don't think you'll ever see your boyfriend again. So when you do you should be happy, but all you can think of is: why is he calling someone else your nickname?

A/N: Hey guys I'm sorry, I know this wasn't one of the stories- or whatever you want to call these things- that I promised but don't worry I am working on those, but I will do this sometimes if I get an idea that I'm very passionate about. Like I have a Denki story idea that might be coming out soon too.

| Main Masterlist | Random Works Masterlist |

Sadness, that’s all you had felt for what felt like years. But it was a matter of days.

It was a matter of days since something had gone wrong on the resolute.

A matter of days since you sat till the very last moment in your Jupiter before leaving because you couldn’t leave him behind.

A matter of days since you were sure you would never see Don West again.

Done West, the man who held your heart and soul and every single bit in between. The man who you swore to marry. The man who gave you the ring that rests on your finger. The man who you had kissed goodbye for what you feared to be the last time.

But at least you had kissed him, at least you had whispered the soft exchange of ‘I love you’ that morning, at least he had held you in his arms one last time. Because you two had made a deal because you both know space is wild. It’s unknown and danger lies everywhere. You never know what will happen, so you two can never go to bed mad. No matter how angry or annoyed you have to stay up and work through it. And no matter how tired or even if the other is sleeping or busy you never leave without saying goodbye. Because you never know if that’s it.

When you had landed you had landed in a forest-type area, quickly putting up a small parameter of a guard fence to keep things out and assessing your surroundings. It was hard doing things alone. But eventually, you located the Jupiter of the Dhar family so you kept in contact with them but otherwise, you stuck to your own Jupiter.

You did your tasks numbly, no music blasting as you and Don danced around laughing and singing off-key. No random pillow fights or clothes wars as you trashed the Jupiter you two were trying to clean… just silence. And you were drowning.

Then one day you heard the voice, the voice of the resolute captain. Captain Radic, but he couldn’t hear anything back and it was frustrating. You begged that if Don was still up there he would be his stubborn crazy self and force his way to that damn microphone and shout through it and down to you that he was safe, that he was alive. But no call came.

And the day a call did come it was from Dhar, he wanted everyone to report to Jupiter 11 so you got into your chariot and drove there in the silence you now had made home. When you arrived you didn’t smile, your eyes didn’t sparkle and you looked like the walking dead.

A woman named Maureen had checked on you the moment she saw you, offering to take you to her daughter who was a doctor to treat you but when you told her it wouldn’t help she seemed to understand. You did your tasks silently and stuck to yourself ignoring everyone but Dhar who was giving commands.

You were standing above a station then, mindlessly staring off as your hands did the task you had now done for five hours now. It was a minimal thought task, good in the sense that it didn’t matter how lost in thought you got. And bad in the sense it didn’t matter how lost in thought you got. So memories played in your brain. Memories of something you deemed to be lost forever.

And then you heard it “Well hello there princess,” you dropped everything your expression blanking as your mind reeled. You were going insane, you would have to tell someone that you were hearing voices and shouldn’t be working anymore. You would have to-

“What do you want Don?” A female spoke somewhere behind you and you spun around kicking the small rocks up beneath your feet as you did so.

No- it can’t be… “oh what can’t a guy come check up on a friend?” And there he was… Don West the man you had been mourning for days stood before you, breathing, alive, smiling, laughing, talking, teasing- wait…. teasing.

“No not with you. You always want something.” You looked to the girl and you despised yourself for the jealousy that had bubbled over your newfound elation. ‘Had he not seen me? Was he ignoring me? Who was this beautiful young girl? And why was he calling her princess?’

Thoughts swarmed your mind. Fueled by your aching heart, because you had yet to speak to him, yet to hold him and touch him, and yet he seemed perfectly fine about the whole ordeal. Like he didn’t care that you might have been dead.

The woman began walking away moving towards you “oh come on now don’t be like tha-“ but his voice stopped as his eyes hit you. “Princess?” He called and the other woman had the audacity to turn and face him.

“What Don?” But he didn’t answer her, and some part of you enjoyed that. You were never one to get on Don for who he hangs around or what he calls them… but princess is what he called you. It just… stung. It felt like you had been replaced, but perhaps it was just the fragile mindset you had been in for at least a week now due to grief.

“Holy shit.” He whispered as he moved to you quickly a bright grin on his face. “Fuck, I’ve missed you so much“ he pulled you into his arms and you found yourself melting into his embrace despite the fact you were somewhat angry, and most certainly jealous. You had so much you wanted to ask, to demand. But it died in your throat as he pulled you to him.

You held onto him as tears began to cascade down your cheeks. He was holding you, he was real, it wasn’t a hallucination. And then he pulled away slightly looking you over. He peppered kisses all over your neck and face. His hands never found purchase on you and you were forced to stand there in shock as the tears continued.

But he didn’t care that your beautiful face was being covered in tears, because he was too wrapped up in the fact it was you. You were alive and real and here and safe. Of course, he never liked to see you cry, but he himself had to have been crying or damn near close to it.

“My princess. My beautiful, beautiful princess, I’ve been so worried I-“ but your hand had moved and before you knew it you had slapped him. Part of you regretted it, part of you was reeling at the thought that you had just hit Don but part of you was angry and oh so very jealous. “Ow, what was that for?!”

“Don’t call me what you just called her.” You growled, and his eyes widened. He always knew how your mindset was even before you did. Always able to tell the sparks of jealousy littering your eyes, and he always knew how to help.

“Wait baby hold on a second-“ he tried to speak quickly making sure to do as you had said and not call you princess. He honestly hadn't even thought about it, about what he had been calling Judy because to him it wasn’t the same as what he called you.

“No, Don” and you pried yourself from his grasp. Realizing you had made a scene you grabbed his hand and pulled him away moving towards the parameter fence.

“Y/n you have to listen to me,” he spoke desperately and you finally stopped a few feet away from the fence turning to face him.

You found yourself then spewing all the horrid thoughts that came to your mind. “Did you even worry? Did you even care that perhaps I was dead? Or the second you lived and made it you decided that it didn’t matter. That this ring didn’t matter, that I didn’t matter! Because hey ‘it’s not cheating if she’s dead’ right?!”

And Don just stood in front of you listening, he didn’t interrupt, he didn’t try to stop you. And when you had moved closer to him still yelling he stood waiting, and when you got in arms-length he grasped you and held you. He held you despite the fact you tried to pound your fist on his chest.

“I hate you!” You screamed as the tears fell once again, “why couldn’t you wait for me?! Why did you move on so quickly?! Don’t you love me?! Wasn’t I enough for you?! Were you not scared?!”

Don held you then too, he held you as you stopped hitting him and your knees buckled. He moved to the ground pulling you into his lap allowing you to let it out. Let out all the anger and sadness and pain he could see you had been holding in.

Because that’s all this was, you know Don and he knows you. You know that yes he did care, that yes he was scared, that yes he was in pain at the thought of losing you. You knew that he hadn’t moved on from you and he wasn’t cheating. You had known the truth to it all. You both knew that, and yet he took it. Because you needed to let it go, let out all the feelings you bottled away and Don was going to let you, like all the times you offered yourself to abate his anger he was now offering himself to you.

It was a long few moments of silence. No exchange of words or half-hearted blows from you. He rocked you gently one hand petting your hair while the other rubbed up and down your lower back your hiccupped sobs becoming less intense.

“I worried about you since the moment I stepped out of our Jupiter that morning.” He whispered. “I worried I would never see you again, that I would never hold you again. I wished I had called out of work and feigned being sick. I wished that I hadn’t let you go that morning.

“All I’ve thought about since I left is you. All I’ve thought about is how I’m going to get to you, or how I’m going to figure out if you’re dead or alive. They told me that everyone was coming here, anyone who was alive would be here and I looked. I looked during the meeting, I looked during instructions and I didn’t see you.

“I lost hope, all I could think is you were dead. You were dead and it was my fault.” He squeezed you tighter to him and you found yourself wanting to speak up but he continued.

“That girl you saw me with, her name is Judy Robinson. She’s a doctor, and she’s eighteen.” Heat flared to your cheeks in shame, she was still practically a child…. you had been jealous of a child. “I called her princess because at first, I thought ‘she’s full of herself, and she thinks she’s better than everyone'. Never once did I mean it the way I do with you. Because there’s a difference, she’s not my princess.”

You found your heart fluttering at his words and you looked up at him, “I’m sorry Don. I just- I don’t know why I reacted like that. I know how… I know how important I am to you.”

He leaned down cupping your cheek, “don’t you ever apologize, beautiful. Emotions are emotions we can’t control them and I’ll always take care of them when they get too much for you. It’s the same situation if you were to fall into a fragile headspace after… well you… you know” and a red color had adorned his cheeks at the thoughts that must have filled his brain.

And he was right whenever you were coming down from a euphoric cocktail of hormones he was there to make it easy and gentle and the one time you accidentally crashed he was there then to. To calm down the emotions and hormones swimming in your mind.

A small giggle had left you and he found himself smiling again. But it dropped as yours did “I’m still sorry Don. I shouldn’t have hit you.”

He shook his head with a chuckle, “I would have hit me too if I thought what you just had been.”

But you shook your head, “I should never hit you… I promise I’ll make it up to you. Maybe later we can…. well you… you know” you mocked his earlier stutter slightly.

He leaned in his lips almost fully connecting with yours whispering, “I’ll hold you to that princess” and then finally pressing his lips to yours.

[mercy-burning]

Fake Fiancée

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader

Summary: Spencer is left waiting at a bar when he gets in some trouble, and meets a woman who offers to help him out in more ways than one.

Category: SMUT (18+)

Warnings: Language, virgin!Spencer, car sex/exhibitionism, handjob, brief mention of edging, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, degradation kink, minor voyeurism kink, dirty talk (If I missed anything, please let me know!)

Word Count: 7k

MASTERLIST

NOTE: Hi, there!! Most of you have been extremely excited about this one since I shared the idea for it a few weeks ago, and so I’m glad to finally get to release it for you!! There’s a playlist here for you to check out if you’d like some ~vibes~ and over on @mercy-midnight I shared a few visual inspirations last night, so check them out if you want! Thank you for all your enthusiasm over this fic, I hope it lives up to your expectations!! 🥰

***

I've always loved the rain.

And it was definitely going to rain soon. How soon, I wasn't entirely sure, but as I made my way into the bar, taking one final breath of fresh air before it would inevitably be taken over by alcohol, greasy food, and way too much cologne, I could smell it. Cool and fresh, waiting to serve as some type of fresh start, to wash away all the hard shit and give me a clean slate.

The gaudy ring on my finger was one of those hard things I wished I could wash away. At least, it had been for a long time. Patrick never asked for it back after he left, and I'd had every intention of pawning it off, but I started noticing—after a few nights out where I'd tried to get hammered and nailed—that it scared everybody off.

I guess no one wanted to fuck a married woman—and a drunk married woman at that. Even if she technically wasn't even married anymore. Which I found all particularly odd considering my experience with men in the past has proved to provide me with extremely low standards.

It'd turned out to be a blessing in disguise, though. Sure, it might have taken me longer to completely get over Patrick and the mess he left me, but rather than losing myself in the lonely company of strangers, I forced myself to reflect and move on, to take each day in stride and take time for myself. Could I have just taken the ring off and gotten laid? Absolutely. But being on my own like that was the wakeup call I didn't know I'd needed.

And now, almost a year later, the ring sat tucked away in my jewelry box until I wanted it— usually when I knew I was going to the bar with every intention of getting hammered and not nailed. There were the occasional persistent players, but they were few and far in between, and if all else failed I resorted to smiling sweetly at them and lying, saying my "husband" was a cop. That shut them up pretty quickly, and by that point I was ready to leave anyway.

Like I said, blessing in disguise.

After a long day at work being called in on a Saturday, a few drinks at Waterson's sounded like a perfect way to end the night. I'd gone home, showered, ate dinner, and got dressed before taking a walk down the block and crossing the near-packed parking lot. The air was quite muggy despite it only being around forty degrees, which was the first indicator of rain. The second was the smell, of course, which I'd always been fond of, and the cobbled pavement had some type of haze around it that served as the final confirmation of my theory.

Honestly, I was hoping to get caught in the rain on my way home. I couldn't tell you why, exactly, just that the idea of walking home in the rain gave me the most excitement I'd felt in a long time. Life was great at the moment, of course, but between work and my less than ideal commute there on the train every day, I think I was due for a little excitement.

That excitement, naturally, started once I opened the door to the bar, taking a step inside and quickly being smacked in the face with the smell of fried everything. A small smile crossed my lips as I went in further, jumbled conversations, glasses clinking, and music humming softly behind the sharp snaps of pool balls being shot forward with the cue completing the picture.

I walked up to the bar to find Carla standing behind it, and I smiled at her. "I didn't know you were working Saturday," I called to her as I approached.

The brunette looked over at me and beamed, her teeth as perfect as ever. "Y/N, I didn't know you came in on Saturdays! How've you been?"

I took a seat at one of the barstools, nodding as I set my wallet and my phone down. "Alright... Work's a bitch, of course, but when is it not?"

"Yeah, I hear that. There's only so much relentless flirting I can take." We shared a good laugh at that before she nodded. "What can I get you?"

"A beer?"

"You got it."

I turned around then, surveying tonight's crowd. Waterson's was decently sized— definitely not as big or popular as the other bars in the city, but it got enough traction on the weekends, and even on Tuesdays when they had open mics. As my eyes wandered, they passed over all kinds of people. Women in tight clothes and men all over them, large groups of friends over by the pool tables who were betting and yelling with large smiles on their faces, old men by themselves in some of the tucked away corners... Anyone you could think of, name it and they were there.

One scene in particular caught my eye, though, and I thought about leaving it alone, but my gut twisted when I noticed how obviously uncomfortable the person was and how there was no one around who seemed to care enough to say or do anything.

Sitting alone at a rather large table was a guy who... no offense to him or anything, but he didn't look like he belonged here, not alone anyway. With a formal button-down short sleeve, meek stature, and a pair of glasses sitting atop his nose, he was an easy target for the two men that were towering over him as he sat, eyes averting them while they conversed. It could have been nothing, but occasionally the man in the glasses would flinch or look around nervously like he was waiting to be rescued.

Not that I wanted to rescue anyone or anything tonight. But he reminded me of someone being stood up, and from experience I knew how embarrassing that was, especially in a space crowded with other people who could obviously see what was happening to you. I hated Patrick for standing me up time and time again, and it wasn't until this waitress once intervened and offered some advice that I started to understand just how fucked up it was. That didn't make it hurt any less, of course, when he inevitably said he was moving across the country and dropped divorce papers on my desk at work, but still... The talk gave me some clarity.

Whether or not this man was actually being stood up or not, it was obvious that he was uncomfortable, and I figured he could use some help.

And I had just the plan.

I watched the scene until Carla came back with my beer, at which point I turned to her with a smile and got money from my wallet.

"Hey, could I get another?"

***

"No, you specifically told me 8pm..."

"I'm pretty sure I told you 9..."

I sighed, glancing around briefly at everyone and everything around me before speaking again, almost yelling into the speaker over all the noise. "Maybe you meant 9, but you told me 8, so I'm here. Alone!"

"Hey, look, I'm sorry, Kid, alright? But we're not gonna be there until 9, so... keep yourself busy until then? Let loose, have a couple drinks..."

I could hear the smirk in Derek's voice just as easily as I could picture it in my head as I sighed out a, "Fine," and hung up. The whole situation significantly raised my blood pressure, not to mention my anxiety— It wasn't hard to see that I stood out here. Bars were most definitely not my scene, and the only reason I'd agreed to go in the first place was so that I could try something new. Expand my horizons, as Penelope had told me right before I caved and agreed to accompany her and Derek on their little outing. I'd even drove my car here, a move I rarely made, as a start.

But now I was sitting alone at a booth, a glass of water in front of me and this twisting sensation in my gut that usually came to me when I didn't know what was going to happen.

I leaned back in my seat and sighed, staring down the glass of water as my cellphone tumbled around between my hands. All I had to do was wait here for an hour and remind myself over and over that eventually I'd be with people that I knew, people that I felt comfortable around. Only an hour.

One hour...

One hour, one hour, one hour... It was a chant in my head that went through different pitches and speeds until it was interrupted by a loud, "Hey, you!"

It could have been for anyone, but it was right next to me, and I knew when I wasn't wanted somewhere.

Sure enough, I turned my head to see a rather large man, a football player-type if I had to guess, wearing a grey tee shirt that hugged every muscle. There was a beer in his hands, and someone next to him, another man slightly shorter but still definitely athletic, held what looked to be a glass of hard liquor. By the looks on their faces, it was obvious that they were looking for a fight.

And it was also obvious that I was the easiest target in the whole bar.

One glance at the clock across the room and above their heads told me that I still had 54 minutes until my friends showed up, and that meat I'd either have to give these men whatever they wanted, tell them I was just about to leave, or attempt to pull the "I'm a Federal Agent" card, which I knew would probably get more laughs from them than a simple, "Sorry," and an exit.

I was about to run through every outcome of tonight's events in my head when the bigger guy spoke again, making me jump.

"Hey, m' talking to you!" He was drunk, most likely toeing the line between sobriety and a fist fight if I wasn't careful.

"I—Is there something you need?" I asked, hoping that if I could get this over with quickly, they'd leave me alone and maybe I could get out of here...

He mocked my voice in a way I'd heard more than once while growing up, and though I knew it was childish of him, saying more about him than me, the action got to me more than I cared to admit. Call it intuition, but when a nearly-drunk guy two times your size starts picking on you like a kid and you know he's just looking for a fight, the odds aren't very good when you're someone on the smaller side like me— Federal Agent or not. And he wasn't an unsub. He wasn't someone I could pick apart and just hand over to my team once I pushed back his defenses. If I picked this man apart, he'd likely throw a punch at my face.

Of course, I could get him arrested for assaulting a Federal Agent, but... Obviously I didn't want to get punched in the face.

As soon as his mumbled mockery of my words ended, he punctuated them with his own. "Yeah, I'm thinkin' I need you to find a new place to sulk. Go to the library or somethin'."

His friend laughed beside him like he'd just said the best comeback anyone's ever heard, and that alone almost made me laugh. Though, I knew that might have gotten me into more trouble.

Speaking of, I probably should have just got up to leave. That would have been the perfect time to say, "Okay," get up, and drive home. Sure, Penelope and Derek would have probably given me crap about chickening out, but I'd have avoided getting beat around or ridiculed further by these morons, so it was overall a win, right?

But my stupid mouth didn't agree with what my brain was thinking. "Oh, well, um... I'm waiting up for some friends, they should be here soon—"

"You have friends?" the other guy retorted before I could finish, and he looked proud of himself for it.

"Look, I don't care who you're waitin' on, pal, Right now you're alone, so I want y—"

I didn't see it coming. I couldn't have seen it from a mile away, never dreamed of anything like this happening in a million years. It was certainly not one of the possible outcomes to the night that I'd had in mind. And actually, even if I'd had any time to prepare for it, seeing the woman walk up to us with two beers in her hand and the biggest smile on her face, I still wouldn't have believed what was happening.

She blocked me from the men's line of sight, sitting herself promptly on my lap as she set the drinks down. "Hey, babe, I'm back with our drinks," she chirped, leaning forward and stopping just under my ear, whispering. "If you play along, I can get them to leave you alone..."

She didn't even give me any time to process, quickly pulling back, but not before kissing me firmly on the cheek, leaving my face in a warm flush as she turned back around to survey the men, who I'd quite frankly forgotten about once she pressed her soft lips to my skin and set her hands on my chest.

What the fu—

"Who're you talking with?"

Her voice was so... low and smooth, and it sent a flood of warmth throughout my whole body. If I could have bottled up her voice to drink, I would have. But instead, I settled for the beer she'd brought, grabbing it and chugging down four big gulps even though I hated it.

"You're with this... loser?" the bigger of the two men said, and truthfully it was the first time all night I'd well and truly felt inadequate in front of them. Sure, I knew I'd stood out, that physically I was weaker than them, but I also knew that deep down they were just drunks looking for a fight. I was better than that, regardless of whether or not they'd almost bullied me into leaving the bar.

I didn't have a problem with who I was, but when it came to women, I was pretty much a total wreck. I'd only ever kissed someone once, and much like back then, this woman was absolutely stunning and completely out of my league.

The man was right to be suspicious.

"Excuse me?" my savior retorted, standing up off my lap and removing herself from me completely. I exhaled, trying hard not to look like I was just as shocked as they were as she tore them a new one. "This loser happens to be my fiancée. And I'd watch what insults you're throwing around— You're the ones going around some bar picking on someone you don't know like you're middle schoolers. Now grow the fuck up and back off before I take your drinks and shove them so far up your asses you'll still be able to taste them."

Truthfully I was surprised when they didn't back down. The bigger guy scoffed, his eyes raking the woman up and down with a wicked glint in them. "Y'know, maybe if you ditched him and got fucked by a real man, you wouldn't be such a bitch."

And once again, I was stunned by her ability to quip back quicker than lightening. "Maybe if you weren't such a childish prick, you'd actually get fucked in the first place. Now back. The fuck. Off..."

While I should have been more grateful that her words got them to scoff and turn away, a small, absolutely random part of me wanted to hear her yell at them some more. The longer she did it, the warmer my body got, and the second I started to put together why that was, I chugged more of the beer that was currently resting in my shaky hand.

It was even worse when she turned around to face me again, her radiance and beauty intimidating me in an entirely different way than those men. She wore a simple black dress that complimented her figure extremely well, minimal makeup and jewelry, and her hair was pinned back, showing off her neck and collarbone.

If she hadn't just helped me out, with the way she was looking at me I probably would have wondered if she was... trying to pick me up.

The thought made me all warm again.

"Y—You didn't have to do—"

She stepped forward and sat on my lap again, and I swallowed hard, the beer almost slipping from my hand entirely. "Don't worry about it. You looked uncomfortable, and those boys were absolute meatheads. But they are still here, so we should probably keep up the act, huh?"

I couldn't tell if she was joking or not. Either way, I set the beer on the table, though my hand still kept it firmly in my grip as I looked down at the ring on her finger. "I—I wouldn't want to get you in trouble... with your husband..."

"Oh! Uh, funny story," she laughed, leaning in and running her hands over my shoulders, most likely to keep up the façade. "I'm not actually married. Or engaged. I um... I wear this to deter people from trying to take me home."

I actually laughed a little, though my stomach still flipped at her touch and her proximity. "And that... actually works?"

She laughed with me, bringing her hands up to cradle my face as she tilted her head and looked me over. Her pretty, pillow-y soft lips quirked into a smile before her eyes flitted up to mine. She looked like she was entranced, like she was in a dream, and honestly I felt the same way. Because there was no way in actual Hell this was a real thing that was happening to me, right?

"Not always," she answered in a whisper, her face inching closer to mine. She smelled a little like beer, but mostly some type of fruit, probably pear. I didn't eat pears, but maybe I should start...

A gentle tug at the roots of my hair pulled me out of my thoughts, a soft sigh escaping me at the sensation. The woman laughed, brushing her nose against mine for a moment before pulling away and grabbing her beer. "So, since we're engaged, I feel like I should know a little about you. At the very least, your name?"

"O—oh," I laughed nervously, swallowing as she sipped her beer. And I tried not to let it get to me, but the way her lips wrapped gently around the bottle had my mind going a mile a minute, laser focusing on one image in particular of those perfect lips wrapped around something else. I wondered if she could hear the longing in my voice when I whispered my name. "Spencer."

With the beer still in her hand, she lowered it and rested it on my knee as she smiled. "Mmm, and what's my last name going to be?"

The thought of actually marrying this woman infiltrated my thoughts as I answered, louder this time, "Reid."

See hummed again, using the hand that was currently massaging the back of my scalp to gently tug at my hair again. "Y/N Reid... I like the sound of that."

I do, too, is what I thought, and I almost said it, but she started talking again.

"So, Spencer, what do you do?"

I would have gone into my entire spiel, but she was so pretty, and so close, I didn't want to scare her off. So, I simply stated, "I work for the FBI..."

Her eyebrows raised, and I felt her hand slide down my neck and settle on my shoulder. "Really?"

"Y—Yeah, I'm a profiler. We aid law enforcement in catching serial killers."

"So, Agent Reid, huh? That's hot..."

I should have just left it alone, because it was common knowledge that if a woman has any reason to call you hot, you just let it happen, right?

Well, like I said, when it came to women I was a complete wreck.

"A—Actually it's Doctor... I, um... I have 3 PhDs."

As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted them, but the hunger in her eyes deepened and her free hand roamed my shoulder and the front of my chest as she scooted even closer, her mouth coming up right under my jaw. "Mmm, even hotter..."

This time I didn't hold back, my voice audibly whimpering as I sighed out a simple, "Oh..."

Y/N pressed a featherlight kiss to my neck before dragging her lips to my ear again. And I'd been so hyperaware of her proximity to my face that I hadn't even noticed she'd set her beer down and took that hand to rest firmly at my hip, her palm pressing into my lower stomach. I only felt it when that hand moved over, the tips of her fingers hovering just above the buckle of my belt.

"Tell me something, Doctor," she whispered just under my earlobe. I was nothing short of putty in her hands as my brain tried to focus on what she was saying over the more prominent desire to focus on the way she pressed her whole body into mine. She was everywhere, taking up every ounce of air that found its way into my lungs, and I'd never breathed in anything sweeter. "Are you saving yourself for marriage?"

I found the question odd at first, but remembering the circumstances of our fake situation, my body suddenly flared to life at her implications. "N—No..."

Her hips shifted against my lap, and I swear I could have fainted on the spot as she hummed in my ear, "Good."

***

I certainly didn't expect for the night to end the way it did.

I mean, I knew I was going to be wet when I got home, but damn. We hadn't even made it out of the bar before my panties were soaked through at the thought of fucking my fake fiancée. Who worked for the FBI and called himself Doctor...

Not to mention he was fucking dreamy as hell with those honey doe-eyes and pouty lips... And his hands? I had taken one look at the one tightly holding his beer bottle for dear life and instantly went white-hot with desire, visions of them disappearing inside of me swimming in my head.

And then he had to fucking whimper when I called him hot.

Yeah, I definitely didn't expect the night to go how it did, but I wasn't mad about it in the slightest.

After explaining to him that I'd walked, and that my house was only a few blocks away, we decided to just hop in his car. Though, by the time we got there, I think we were both so eager to "get to know each other a little better," as I'd said before we actually left, that we didn't even make it out of the parking space.

Spencer fumbled around with his keys for so long, and he kept dropping them, so I just said fuck it and kissed him when he came up the third time. The sound of his keys hitting the ground for a fourth time excited me almost as much as his the way his hands trembled as they rested on my forearms.

"Pull the seat back?" I mumbled against his mouth, sliding my hands down the sides of his face and over his shoulders.

He let out a strained, "Uh huh," and fumbled around with that too, his urgency and nerves all rolled into one adorable spectacle that had the pit of my stomach in desirable knots. The seat sprung backwards, and I laughed lowly as I climbed over the center console and right into his lap, my dress riding up incredibly high.

The way Spencer looked up at me then, his eyes just as pouty as his lips as they practically sparkled with adoration and need, gave me this feeling I hadn't experienced in a long time— something that filled my bloodstream with fire and made me feel... wanted.

And that's not to say I hadn't slept with people since my divorce, but every time it happened there was hardly any connection besides the obvious need to get off. Here, with Spencer, it was different. And realistically I knew it was most likely the fact that a beautiful woman came to his rescue and pretended to be engaged to him just to get some morons off his back, but... In his eyes I saw this vulnerability that I'd never gotten with another partner. He was open and willing to take advantage of our situation to the fullest extent, sure, but within that was a pure longing to be close to someone after going so long without that connection.

I knew that look so well because it was exactly how I felt. We wanted to have sex with each other, that much was obvious, but less so was the fact that we could feel each others' loneliness. It was a shared bond that ran deeper than sexual desire, and in his eyes in that moment, I knew he could see it in me.

"D—Do you know... what it's like to feel alone, even... when you know you really aren't?" he asked as though he was reading my mind. His voice was soft, so curious and hinted with a little sadness that it made me want to hold him tight and rock him to sleep more than anything.

Still, I nodded. "Mhm... After my husband left I haven't... really been the same. I act like it's okay, and I... I really am better now that he's gone, but I just... I've spent most of my life with him, and now it's like I don't know what's out there beyond... loneliness."

It wasn't the most sexy conversation in the world, but Spencer reached out, his hands less shaky, and ghosted them over my bare arms. He looked up at me with those pretty eyes and let out a relieved breath before he spoke. "I kinda know what you mean... Not to that extent, but... I get it."

Seeing that he was more comfortable with me, I leaned in closer, bringing my fingers to brush the underside of his jaw. "And that's why you make the perfect fiancée."

I felt the laugh leave his lips before I kissed him, soft and steady, and reassured that I was in this for as long as he wanted me to be. Obviously we weren't actually engaged, but the connection that came with a real engagement felt pretty damn close to what we had going on.

And he conveyed that in the way he kissed me back, stronger than he'd been before and most certainly more skilled than he'd let on. His tongue expertly caressed mine with just the right amount of pressure and precision, and it made it easy for me to fall into him. Over time we grew more hungry, but for the most part our dance of mouth and tongue was so slow and intense, it felt like we really had known each other forever.

Eventually though, I did feel him grow harder underneath me, and the feeling kickstarted this more primal urge that caused me to groan into his mouth and rock my hips forward. Spencer's hands rested firmly at my lower back the whole time, though when I moved, I could feel him tense a little, like now that it was actually starting to happen, he was suddenly nervous again. So I brought my hands around my back to grab his wrists, gently sliding them down over my ass as I pressed myself into him and nipped at his bottom lip.

"Mmm, your hands are so big," I purred as I kissed my way over his jaw. "They feel so good all over me..." He relaxed a bit at my reassurance, but I wanted to give him more. So I helped him slide his hands underneath my dress, feeling him shiver under me when I assisted him in squeezing them into my skin. "You can touch me however you like," I whispered into his ear. "I'm all yours, Doctor..."

He squeezed my ass then, of his own accord, and I hummed happily before kissing my way back to his mouth, running my hands through his hair.. "Just like that, baby, whatever you want..." He swallowed my words with his tongue, taking a deep breath and inhaling me like I was his only source of air. Respectfully, I gave it all to him, happy to be of service as long as he wanted me— and in that moment, I hoped it would be forever.

Maybe that was cheesy. But he was an excellent kisser... And I was sure there'd be something equally as excellent waiting for me once I got the clearance to get my hands down to his belt.

Thankfully, that clearance came pretty soon. I would have waited as long as he wanted to, but with the way his hips jolted upwards and the needy whine that erupted from his throat at the contact it provided, I knew now was the time.

So I smiled over his lips and then kissed his jaw again, one of my hands staying threaded in his hair while the other snaked down his chest and lower, undoing each button on his shirt as I went down... "Forgive me if I'm feeding into the stereotype by asking you this, Spencer," I said, leaving small bites on his neck in between words. "But have you ever done this before?"

His hands continued kneading my ass as he let out a shaky breath. "N—No. But I've um... I've p—practiced..."

"Hmm, how so?" I wondered, sucking a big hickey into his neck. Meanwhile my hand traced along the waistband of his pants, not quite dipping underneath but teasing the skin just above the material.

"U—Um, well... I regularly t—try to edge... myself, just... I—I want to last longer, and... And I thought it would help..."

God, the images of this man lounging in bed, training himself to last longer in the event that he had sex with someone? I groaned into his neck, taking the initiative to move my hand lower and gently palm him through his pants. "Fuck, that's so hot..."

"Re—really?"

"Mhmm... You really wanna make a girl feel good, huh?"

"Of course..."

"So eager to please?" I cooed, starting to undo his belt. He gripped my ass tighter like he was holding on for dear life, like he'd some how fall out of the car if he didn't hold on to me tight enough. The way his fingers dug into my skin brought me almost the same amount of joy as the sound he made when I finally snuck my hand down the front of his pants and pulled his dick out, gently stroking it and getting a feel for him. "Obedient?"

"Y—Yes, Y/N, please, oh God..." he jumbled out, his hips bucking into my hand. I sighed into his neck, kissing him again as my hand slowly jerked him off.

"Is this how slow you go?" I asked, making sure to memorize how every ridge of him caressed my hand. "Hmm, you wanna draw it out? Feel every ounce of pleasure as you possibly can before you come?"

He didn't answer so much as he let out a loud, whiny breath that sounded very much like a broken, "A-hh."

"I'm clean... On birth control, too... So what do you say we trade this hand in for something a little more... wet..."

Spencer grabbed my underwear then, pulling at the fabric and bucking his hips again. Taking it as a good sign, I adjusted myself so that I could slide them to the side and hover above him. Meanwhile I pecked at his lips and he did the same, meeting me with urgency and anticipation.

And when the head of his dick finally came in contact with my pussy, he threw his head back and exhaled, exposing his neck and the front of his chest, which was lightly glossed over with sweat already. The only source of light in the car came from the neon bar lights and one single streetlight outside, which gave us this dark, aesthetic lighting that only made what we were doing even hotter.

I sank slowly onto him, letting out the longest sigh of my life until he bottomed out in me. "You doin' alright, Doctor?" I asked, pulling his shirt open some more to get a better view of his skin.

He sat his head up a bit and looked at me, breathlessness in his eyes. "F—Fantastic. You f—eel so good..."

I ground my hips in slow circles, nodding down at him with a wicked grin. "Feeling's mutual, babe... You stretch me out so good... It's like we're a perfect match."

The moment I started lifting myself only to sit back down, Spencer shut his eyes, his hands roaming my ass and my thighs as I rode him. It looked like he was concentrating on lasting, and I was going to tell him not to worry about it, but then he opened his eyes and started to speak.

"Will, um... Will you be m—mean to me? Please?"

I halted my movements for a moment, taking in what he just said, but then it came to me immediately. And my discovery turned me on way more than I would have liked to admit.

So I grinned and circled my hips again, leaning forward to practically crawl up the front of his body. My hands tangled in his hair as I studied his face, which was ridden with worry and maybe regret at what he'd just confessed. But I kept circling my hips all the same, clenching myself around him as I spoke against his lips.

"Ohhh, did hearing me insult those guys in the bar turn you on?" I drawled, gently pecking his lips.

"Uh huh," he breathed in response.

I smiled, rocking my hips a little faster and feeling him start to relax again— The worries he had about his desires faded into nothing as I gave into them, feeding them with an open palm and embracing them with great pleasure. "I bet you just couldn't wait for me to take you outside and fuck you after that, huh? For me to treat you like a needy little slut..."

With every word and every quick rock of my hips, Spencer started to pick up his breathing. He leaned back completely and let me take care of him, gave me every green light, every go-ahead... I never got to be like this in bed before, and the fact that it came so naturally sparked this confidence within me that was hard to quell once it got going.

"Is that what you wanted?" I asked him, picking up my pace and bouncing steadily back on his dick. "You were so desperate to get fucked, too, you couldn't even make it out of the parking lot before you gave into me... And now everyone in the bar could see us out here..."

He groaned out at that, his hands digging into the flesh of my thigh, which already burned from straddling him like this, but considering everything, a little burn never hurt anyone.

"Ohh, you like that too, huh? The thought of everyone seeing us?"

"Y—Yes... Y/N, yes... o—oh, fu..."

I took his face into my hands then, grabbing him by the chin and making him look at me. "And what about your friends, huh? What would they think if they showed up and saw their precious Doctor Reid getting fucked like the dirty little slut he is, huh?"

Even though his face was in my hands, he still managed to lean his head back with a loud groan. His hands were now sliding over to my waist, where my dress was bunched up. His nimble fingers slipped just under the fabric and explored the planes of my stomach as I continued riding him, and the feeling of it all coupled with the looks on his face and his reaction—verbal or otherwise—to my words grew the fire simmering in the pit of my stomach.

I wasn't sure how mean to him I could be anymore now, though, considering we were both so close to finishing, and the closer I got the more it became harder to focus on stringing together the perfect words.

Still, I tried the best I could, because it was his first time, and it's what he deserved.

I leaned in and kissed his neck and collarbone, simultaneously riding and grinding for extra stimulation. "You're doing so well, Doctor... Taking this pussy like a good little whore..."

Okay, so it wasn't entirely mean, but it was the best I could come up with on the spot.

Though, it seemed to have done the trick, because Spencer drove his hips up to meet mine, panting and whining out my name as his eyes fluttered open and he looked at me with the most desperate look. I almost fell apart right there.

"That's it, baby, take it," I cooed, leaning over and kissing him. One of his hands came out from under my dress to rub tight circles into my clit with an expert thumb, and it started to break me down immediately. "Ohhh, I'm almost there, honey, just like that... Show me what a good little slut you are, baby, c'mon... Just like... that... Ohhh..."

I kissed him hard as I shook and clenched around him, holding still as he drilled his hips upwards into me. His thumb kept up at my clit until I was whimpering into his mouth, and then he just held it there, a few grunts of his own rumbling in his chest before he stilled and filled me with his warmth. I kissed him through it, gently swallowing all his whines and sighs as he gradually came down from his high.

Immediately after we both settled, with his dick still sheathed inside of me and my hands rubbing gently over the planes of his chest as we slowly and softly made out, the unmistakable sound of raindrops hitting glass covered us on all sides.

I pulled away from Spencer with a small smile, resting my head on his shoulder and looking off to the side, out the window at the sea of cars slowly getting covered up by a multitude of rain droplets. "I hope that was okay," I whispered against his skin, willing myself closer by draping an arm over his shoulder and using my hand to twirl some of his hair around my finger.

"That was more than okay," he responded contently. His chin rested on the top of my head and I snuggled closer into him. "Thank you, Y/N... For... For everything."

"It was my pleasure, Doctor."

We sat in comfortable near-silence for a while then, letting the rain tapping gently over the car be the steady sound that grounded us and washed away everything we had until there was a clean slate.

That was the one bad thing I found about the rain. I loved it, yes, for all its cleansing properties, and as I came into the bar tonight, I looked forward to them— to clearing my head with alcohol and a walk home in the rain.

But as I laid there, breathing in every ounce of Spencer Reid, I watched the rain roll down the windows and actually dreaded the moment it would stop.

"I wish it would rain forever," I sighed wistfully, playing with one of the buttons on Spencer's shirt.

He drew patterns into my leg all the same. "How come?"

"Because... I have to walk home. And the longer it rains, the longer I can stay here with you..."

He chuckled. "That's a nice sentiment, but you know I can drive you home, right?"

"Yeah, but... I really don't want this moment to end."

He was silent then, and for a while I thought maybe he was just going to leave it be. But then his soft voice broke through the rain and cut into me like a piece of glass. "You know you're gonna be okay, right?"

I broke away and looked up at him. "How do you mean?"

He sighed, thinking before continuing. "I mean... I'm guessing it's been rough since your husband left, and... being here with me has given you some companionship and comfort, but... Even after we part ways, you're going to be alright... It's still going to feel lonely, sure, but if there's anything I know for sure after tonight, it's that you're going to get through it just fine."

My heart swelled, though it still broke all the same. "How do you know?"

Spencer smiled, bringing a hand up to gently brush the side of my face. "Because you're my fiancée and I know you better than anyone."

As I laughed at the joke, he looked back at me with sparkles in his eyes. And then minutes later, I was haphazardly cleaning myself up in his passenger seat with a wet-nap that I'd kept tucked away in my wallet while he fumbled around for his keys.

Even as I stood on my porch that night, under the rain as I watched him drive away with the lingering buzz of our final goodbye kiss on my lips, I wondered if I'd ever see him again.

And I wondered if he would ever notice or do anything about the sparkly diamond ring I left behind, sitting beside him in my place— a reminder of our time together, the comfort he provided me with, and the clean slate that always inevitably came with the rain.

***

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[generallybarzy]

our white christmas. ---m.barzal

an: the first of a couple winter fics and Christmas related chapters of series!!! I hope to have about three other things posted before Christmas, so hooopefully I'll get those put in time. Of not, they'll just be a little late!!! Have we all heard about what happening in my life?? I won't bore you by giving all the details again but writing some fluff is really helping my cope cause otherwise I think I'd lose my mind. Reminder to everyone to WEAR YOUR MASKS and TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY. Peoples lives are at stake here. Just cause Covid has been around for a while now isn't an excuse to stop caring. Its worse now than ever before. 

tagging some bbs!!!:  @sunflowertimothee @deleausvp @dunnwithlyfe @smit41 @softboybarzal @fallinallincurls @matbaerzal @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows @hockeyhughes11 @folkloreflyers @nazdaddy @shawnsreputation

word count: 2.4k

If there were only two things you loved, they were, in order, Mathew, and snow.

But it was really unfair to only list two things, especially after spending the entire week with your amazing boyfriend and his amazing family. You were filled with so much more love than ever before, and there was no way you could choose just two. But Mat was definitely on top. 

You didn’t grow up with a necessarily affectionate family- you never had family movie nights or game nights or ever really hugged or kissed each other- so meeting Mat’s family was a bit overwhelming at first. The best overwhelming you could ever feel. They welcomed you with open arms, in fact, the first thing his mother did after opening the door to see the two of you was to wrap you in a hug and thank you for making her little boy so happy. And Mat gleamed, his face lit up in one of the brightest smiles you’d ever seen, save for the one when you promised to be his.  

You’d spent the whole week before Christmas waiting for snow, talking about how much you’d love to play in it with Mat and his family, but despite the freezing temperatures, there was none on the forecast. 

When you woke up this morning, curled up in Mat’s warmth, with his lips ghosting over your skin, you knew something felt different than other years. And something was different. Suddenly you were loved by not only one, but four members of the Barzal family. 

“Merry Christmas, baby.” Mat’s raspy morning voice filled your ear, his big arm curling around your waist again and tugging you closer. You turned towards him, smiling at the dumb, lovestruck smile on his face, at the sleepy but teasing eyes he was giving you. 

“Morning, Mat.” 

He leaned in to press your lips together into a sweet, chaste kiss, just the simple act of sharing each other's presence in bed before you'd have to inevitably get up and join his family. For some reason, it felt much colder this morning than the others, so you stuck your chilly fingers into his soft hair and pulled your feet under the blankets and pushed them between Mat's warm thighs. "Whew, baby, you're cold." Most people would scoot away at the contact of chilly hands and feet, but Mat was different. He wanted to share his warmth with you, keep you safe and comfortable, and he always did. He readjusted his grip and pulled you closer, tugging the blanket up around the two of you and sharing the warmth. 

"Thank you." 

"Hey, I gotta warm you up if we're gonna be going out soon." 

"Why are we going outside? Is that another Barzal tradition I'm gonna learn?" 

"Well, duh." He smiled and brushed his nose against yours, whispering against your lips. And for once, you didn't mind the morning breath, not with that gleaming, contagious smile just centimeters from your face. "We always go out. Especially on a white Christmas." 

"Wait, a what?" 

With newfound energy, you sat up in bed, pulling the duvet up with you and looking out the window. Sure enough, even in the pale morning light you could see the world was covered in a soft white blanket, inches already piling on the ground as it continued to pour down. 

"Babbbyy, now I'm cold!" 

You glanced back at Mat, whose bare chest was now exposed to the cold winter air, pouting up at you with open arms. But, as beautiful as he looked, his hair dark and fluffy against the pillow, you wanted to go out now. “Mat, let’s go out in it!” 

“No, no, no, come back here!” Mat jumped up with a grin and pulled you back against him and rolled over with you in his arms, and, as your still-sleepy morning reflexes were too slow to react, pinned you under him against the bed. He pressed his nose against your neck and peppered kisses all over you as you continued to giggle in glee from the way he grabbed you so cheekily and playfully. “Mine.” 

“Matyyyy,” 

“Babyyy.”

“Mat I wanna go out! I’ve been waiting for snow all year!!” 

You squirmed against him in laughter as he playfully nibbled at your ear and kissed your cheek, whining for you to shut up and cuddle him for a bit longer. Before he could respond, there was a knock at the door, and his sister’s voice sounded from outside, followed by his parents downstairs. “Guys, we can’t open presents without you!!” 

“Fine, fine, we’re coming!” Mat yelled back. 

Before Mat could roll out of bed, you pulled him down to press a kiss against his lips. “Thank you for bringing me out here.” 

He smiled and returned the kiss cheekily. “Just wait until you get your presents, baby. You’ll love me even more.”

“Impossible.” 

------------------

You got what you wanted this year, in every way.

You got your white Christmas, you got a boyfriend who loves you so dearly, and his family that loves you just as much. You had fun out in the snow with them, building a little snowman and having a snowball fight and going out on the frozen lake and getting challenged to a hockey game by his dad. You had eaten a warm dinner, with warm apple cider and even warmer hearts as his family laid out for you all the reasons they were glad you were here, how sweet you were, how happy they were that you were taking care of their boy. And now, you had Mat in your arms, wearing matching plaid pajamas with you, warm blankets around you and The Office on TV, and hot cocoa as you cuddled in the light of the Christmas tree. The Christmas tree, with the handwritten names on five dazzling ornaments hitting the light just right and glimmering from where you lay with your boyfriend. 

Mom. Dad. Mat. Liana. And the newest addition to the little family, (Y/N).

The rest of Mat’s family was still outside, talking in the soft lights on the back porch, and, what you and Mat didn’t know, was that his parents were glancing in every now and then and admiring the way their son treated you. The gentle kisses, the cute smiles, the soft words. The way he was just so comfortable and easy and himself around you.. Like you were made for him. And they knew you were the one for him. 

“So," Mat's voice was soft and whispered against your skin. He lay on top of you, his head on your chest, his comforting weight settled down against you like the warmest, safest, coziest weighted blanket you’d ever had the pleasure or loving, your fingers scraping across his scalp like he always loved. "You got your white Christmas. How are you feeling?” 

“Mmm. Cold."

Mat let out a little teasing chuckle, poking your cheek with one long finger. "Well, who's idea was it to go out, baby?"

"Whose job is it to warm me up?" 

"Always mine, baby." 

“Always.”

“Only for you.” 

His arms wrapped tighter around you, pulling himself up to lie beside you rather than on your chest so he could reach your lips, he tucked the blankets up tight around the two of you in a little cocoon and pulled you close to his side. And his lips found yours. He’d quite honestly never get over kissing you. No matter how delicate, the feeling of your skin against his was always enough to make sparks fly, to make his heart leap in his chest, even after a year together. The spark was still there, the joy he felt just knowing that you were with him and everything would be okay. The way your lips molded perfectly together as if sculpted specifically for each other and no one else, the way your nose tickled into his cheek and the way you always let out a soft “oops” when you leaned in the wrong way and bumped noses before a kiss. The way you always smiled up at him with love and adoration after breaking apart breathlessly, as if all you wanted was to hold him and kiss him forever. And ever.

“Getting up this morning was definitely worth it. Even if I got cold.”

"It was worth it." You leaned down to press your lips against the tip of his nose. "I love spending time with your family. I love them."

"And they love you." He cast a glance out the backdoor and into the yard, where his family was still having fun, having quietly promised him that they'd give the two of you a little time to yourselves at the end of the day, as long as you kept it PG. They adored you, and he couldn’t be happier for how well you got along. "How'd you like your presents so far?"

"They were great. The ornament tradition…. Mat, you guys didn't have to include me in that."

"Baby," he propped himself up on his elbows above you and looked into your eyes with a type of passion you'd never seen on him before this week. "That's not true, you know that. They love you." 

"They probably love any girl who makes you happy, Maty." 

"(Y/N)," He said it slowly, dragged out like a warning, like all the other times your mind started to wander and let you think you deserved any less that the best. "Did you know I've never actually introduced a girl to my family? Not like this." 

"Never?" 

"Never. You're the first girlfriend I really ever brought home. 'Cause you're the first one I love like this." His lips found your cheeks again, pressing gentle kisses to soft skin. "I love you so much, more than I’ve ever loved someone in my entire life. And I know you love me too, it makes me so happy.” He laughed again, in disbelief once again that he scored someone as amazing as the girl in front of him. “And I believe in us. I wouldn't introduce you to my family if I didn't think we'd last long. And I think we're gonna last a long time. I believe in this. In us."

“Really?”

He laughed a bit, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Uh, duh. Of course I do, baby.”

Your breath hitched in your throat. “I believe in us too.” 

“Good.” 

He brushed loose strands of hair away from your face and kissed your cheeks delicately, running his hands across your sides in an attempt to warm you up. You slid your leg between his, his thighs are always so amazingly plush despite how hard you’d believe them to be due to hockey. But, like him, his thighs were strong and big and muscular but so soft and warm at the same time. You giggled to yourself at the thought, and Mat didn’t have to ask what was so funny.

“Thank you for letting me come home with you Mat.”

“Hey, you told me how your family doesn’t really celebrate, and I’d have to be a lot more stupid to leave a pretty girl like you alone in that tiny apartment of yours for the holidays. I couldn’t.” He kissed your lips one more time and smiled as you hummed against him, completely content.  He liked the idea that you were so willing to try this out for him. You came from a family that wasn’t very affectionate or celebratory, so the last thing he wanted to do during the holidays was freak you out, but you seemed to love it all. “So, that brings us to our last gift of the night, I think.” 

“There’s more?” 

“Oh yeah, there’s more.”  

He rolled over the side of the couch to reach down underneath, where he’d apparently hidden a little gift earlier in the evening. When he turned back to you, he was holding a small square box, not small enough to be a ring, but maybe a necklace.

“Mat… I said no expensive jewelry.” 

“It’s not jewelry, and it wasn’t expensive, like less than two bucks. Basically free. Hopefully it’s really meaningful, though.” The look of confusion on your face as you wracked your brain for what he possibly could have gotten you for less than two dollars was a look Mat would never forget. He laughed a bit and held it out to you. “Open it.”

You scooted up to sit up more on the couch, directly in your boyfriend’s lap, and Mat’s arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you back against his chest, his head on your shoulder to watch you delicately tear off the paper and pop the lid off.  

There, in a little blanket of tissue paper, lay a shiny silver key.

“Oh, my god, Mat.”

“It’s a key to my apartment.” He smiled, shyly, as if worried you might think he’s moving too fast. “We’ve been together almost a year, and even though I have you here with my family this year, last year you were alone. I never want you to be alone for Christmas- or any time- ever again. I want you to be comfortable in my apartment, I want you to feel at home with me, when you’re at my place. Fuck, that’s not enough. I want to live together, baby. God, I want to live with you. To wake up together, brush our teeth at the sink, make breakfast, I want to get the kisses before leaving and after coming back from practice and your work, I want to fall asleep together every night. I want to be with you. All the time. And, God, I hope you want me all the time too.”

His face was flushed, eyes genuine and warm, a smile on his lips, his big hands holding yours. This. This was the man you wanted in your life. This is the man you wanted to spend your holidays with. The man you wanted to spend every day of the rest of your life with.

“I love you, Mat.”

“So you’re moving in with me?”

And your answer was simple enough as you pulled him down into a kiss. You breathed each other in, smiling against your lover’s mouth and bringing your hands up to hold his jaw and pull him closer still. 

“I can’t wait, Mat. I can’t wait to live with you. I love you.”

“I love you.” 

The backdoor opened, and before you knew it, you were surrounded by even more people who loved you, cheering and swooning and celebrating the big step in their son’s relationship. And you realized just how much they all meant to you, and exactly who they were to you. 

Your soon-to-be new family.

[concussed-to-pieces]

Of Gorgons And Gardens

Fandom(s) : The Mandalorian and Prospect [2018]

Pairing: The Mandalorian [Din Djarin]/Reader/Ezra

Rating: Holy shit uh. Explicit.

AN: That's right. I've done it. It's time for the sex pollen. This is a standalone that's not involved with either of my previous tales related to these fine boys, so we have a Death Watch-raised Mando that takes the Creed incredibly seriously and an Ezra that's well armed. Also I apologize for the constant viewpoint switches. Enjoy!

Tag List: @huliabitch @hardcorewwetrash @helplessly-nonstop @lackofhonor @oloreaa @theocatkov @jackierey09 @zombiexbody @crookedmoonsaultpunk @pedrosbigdorkenergy @absurdthirst @culturalrebel

[!TRIGGER WARNING!: For obligatory dubious consent due to sex pollen, as well as threesome activities, breeding kink and gratuitous bodily fluids. Stay safe!]

The quarry was named Ezra. Not that their name mattered, the chain code was freshly generated. The strangest part was that there had been no image attached to the puck. 

Din had tipped his helmet to the side, narrowing his eyes and tapping the bounty puck curiously. "Somethin' wrong with this?"

Karga shook his head. "No, he's just too slick for us to have any holorecords on him. Somebody from Bakhroma wants him alive."

Undocumented quarry was exceptionally rare, and not usually something that one requested a Mandalorian for. It indicated green prey, a first-time offender. "Bakhroma, huh? Pretty far out." He wasn't an idiot. There had to be a reason why Karga had offered him this one specifically.

"Guy apparently walked off with a majority of someone's aurelac pull. Typical floater squabble, but one of them ponied up the mining points for credits and asked for a certified, card-carryin' Mando." Karga had leaned back in the booth. "How's the kid?"

Din had just grunted noncommittally in reply, gloved fingers scooping the puck off the table. "I have to get back to the Crest."

…

"The target has been on Bakhroma relatively recently. Not sure if he was in the Green or not, but either way he'll probably be a walking biohazard." Mando muttered, turning his head towards you. "So you're staying put."

"Until something happens to you and I have to pull you out of the fire again." You retorted with a smirk. 

"Hey, that was one time." You knew he was narrowing his eyes, though you weren't quite sure how you knew. Something about the way he tilted his head ever so slightly to the right clued you in.

"You were full of nexu quills."

"One. Time." The Mandalorian growled. "I even said thank you."

"You sure did," You replied, laughing. "Right before you passed out!"

He palmed over the side of your head roughly. "Brat." His grumble was fond, softening the edge of the insult. "Promise me you'll stay on the Crest, Senaar, otherwise I'll ask Omera to take you and the kid for an extended sleepover."

"Fine, I promise." You relented, huffing in annoyance.

He tinkered with his charts for a moment, then tilted his head again. "Where did you go earlier? I got done with Karga hours ago. Couldn't find you."

You stiffened, abruptly absorbed in checking the fuel levels. "Oh you know. Around." You said breezily. 

"Well in the future, when you feel like going around, at least let me know so I don't think you've been abducted." Mando grumbled, folding his arms over his chest. 

"Aw, you're cute when you care!" You cooed, making him scoff and return to his control panel. 

…

In hindsight, he wasn't sure what he was more pissed off about. The fact that this Ezra character had led him on a wild fucking chase over half of a suspiciously verdant moon, or the fact that his brain had apparently decided to shift into overdrive regarding you. He couldn't get you off…

Get you off his mind, that is. Stars, he was so confused. 

He felt like he had been walking in circles for hours, the only noise the steady beep of the tracker. He was too hot. Thirsty. His armor was chafing like it never had before; it was less like an extension of his body and more like a too-tight skin he needed to shed. Din finally bent over, hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. 

"You look like shit," drawled an unfamiliar voice while a set of knuckles rapped on the back of his helmet. Djarin jerked upright and immediately staggered, fumbling to grip a tree trunk for support. His vision swam uncertainly, and he blinked several times in an effort to clear it. 

The man in front of him was clad in a utilitarian suit that bore an unfamiliar logo, maybe a mining corporation. No duraplast or durasteel visible, no unnecessary frills, old-fashioned rubber gaskets to seal where glove met sleeve. Din's gaze traveled upwards, past the man's chest to his large domed helmet. He kept his motions deliberate. He had been caught off-guard by this man, but he wouldn't--

What?!

"I'll assume you're encroaching upon my solitude to haul my undesirable personage back into civilized spaces?" The man inquired after Din had taken several long seconds to try and understand what he was seeing. "For monetary compensation, if I had to hazard a guess. There are few lures that tempt a man so far out into the uncharted."

Why does he have my face? Sure, the scars were different. Different facial hair, different hairstyle, and a wild little tuft of blond sprang from amidst the dark locks at his hairline. But it was him. Same brown eyes, same nose, same mouth curving into an infuriatingly benign smirk. Djarin was struck with the sudden urge to punch him, his belly writhing.

"I take it the dust has you firm in its grip. A real pity, that. I'd love to sympathize, but regrettably I am at an advanced state of the same condition." The quarry gestured at his right arm, where a bloodstain blooming on the fabric of his suit indicated a loss of the integrity of said suit. "I'm Ezra, though I'm certain you're already well aware. And you?"

"Irrelevant." Din grated out, clumsy fingers fumbling to get his binders off his belt. 

"A man of action, excellent! I shall acquiesce, but only because being removed from this Centaurian mass is infinitely better than being confined to it." Ezra replied with a sage nod, extending his wrists. "Whither to, my recalcitrant steerforth?" 

"Be quiet." The Mandalorian grunted, his mind still reeling. How does he have my face? Then, a new, far more troubling thought occurred to him.

If he turned Ezra in, people would inadvertently know what he looked like. They wouldn't know, but they would know. What would that mean for him? For his dedication to the Creed? Did things like that count against him? Had something like this ever happened before?

"Tell me you, at the bare minimum, have functional transport?" Ezra asked after Din had relieved him of his blaster, sounding hopeful. It was so strange hearing his own voice with such an odd, imprecise cadence to it. The Mandalorian had worked for years to improve his Basic so that anyone and everyone would be able to understand him through the coarse modulator, though he still ended up sounding hitchy or curt most of the time. 

"How else would I have gotten here?" Din snapped, gesturing the other man forward with the encouragement of his own weapon.

At least now he knew how to get back to the Crest, thank the Maker for his helmet and the tracking protocols he had. Now, observing his previous path of forward motion, he realized with a jolt how much it wound back and forth. He had been walking in circles.

Since when did he lose his sense of direction? Even in unknown territory, he usually had a damn good idea of which end was up. That concerned him.

And on top of everything else, Ezra wouldn't shut the hell up.

"Be quiet." Din muttered for what seemed like the thousandth time. How long had they been walking? Probably his own fault. With how much his head was spinning, he didn't dare deviate from the winding trail he had left. Even if a straight path would have been miles quicker.

Ezra continued to drone, "a toilsome marathon of carnage, I assure-"

"I said, be fucking quiet." 

The target huffed out a breath, but obliged Djarin's terse demand for the moment. Din's head was pounding, his already short fuse shrinking with every word out of the talkative man's mouth. Was this the Maker's hysterically ironic way of compensating for how little a solitary Mandalorian would speak? Making a doppelganger that was ceaselessly chatty?

Din talked a lot more these days, between you and the kid. Maker, you. His head swam again and a low, guilty heat throbbed in his belly. You talking to him, the way your mouth moved around your words-

No. No, stop, he told himself sternly, two fingers sliding idly between the gasket and gorget at his throat just so he could breathe a little easier. This planet's air felt thick, like breathing through tar. 

"I would not indulge that craving, were I you." Ezra spoke up, the man obviously watching him claw at his neck. "The less exposure you have, the better." 

Din wanted to snap at him because honestly how many times do I have to say shut the fuck up-

But then he stopped. Since when did he even do things like breach the seal of his own fucking helmet on an unfamiliar planet?! He flinched, tearing his hand away and hating the low, wry chuckle that issued from the quarry. The other man mused, "It's already too late for me, you know. I imagine I'll have an hour, perhaps two."

"What the hell are you talking about now."

"The dust, my armored associate. It permeates. Sludges the mental processes." Ezra shrugged with only one shoulder. "Among other things."

"How do you know so much about it?" Din gritted his teeth against the buzzing pain in his stomach. "Seems pretty stupid of you to hide out here." Especially if you know the flora is deadly.

"There is naught to do on a freighter slingback aside from read." Ezra's eyes narrowed. "And I could hardly pick and choose which moon my pod decided to give out on, you monosyllabic knuckle-dragger."

"Watch your mouth before I break it." Din snarled.

"Lo and behold, he comprehends! I assumed all you knew how to say was a stagnant variation on the theme of be fucking quiet." Ezra retorted with enraging cheer. 

Din's gloves creaked with the tension of his fists and he barely kept from slamming them into his temples. They were almost to the Crest. Almost. Once they got there, he would throw this mouthy nerf herder into the carbonite and…

And what? And turn him over? And inadvertently compromise his whole identity, possibly destroy decades of loyally obeying the Creed? 

All the deprivation, the loneliness, the weakness of his own heart...

"Be fucking quiet." The Mandalorian muttered, knowing full well that the other man hadn't said anything. Be fucking quiet. Be fucking quiet quiet quiet just fucking be quiet-- 

Din ground the heels of his palms against the curve of his helmet at his forehead, praying for some kind of relief.

Carbonite, he reminded himself.

…

Ezra grudgingly held his tongue, which even he had to admit was a rarity. Unlike the other floaters that had approached him before and met their swift demise, this particular bounty hunter was heavily kitted. The gleaming plate he sported didn't seem to hinder his motion in the slightest. 

Interesting.

Ezra knew when he had been outplayed, and he would be lying if he said he wasn't banking on the other man having a functional ship even before he decided to go peacefully. 

The hunter (mentally dubbed Steerforth, he rudely had not introduced himself) obviously had no idea about the pollen, for all his outward preparedness. Clearly Serpentia was not as well known as Ezra had wished. 

Regrettable. 

He could hope that the bounty hunter hadn't been exposed, he mused. After all, the man was wearing that positively arresting helmet, and his suit seemed of a sturdy (if unfamiliar) weave. Here was an individual that Ezra would have to tread carefully around, if he wished to escape with his life. 

His faith waned a bit as he recalled watching the man 'track' him, winding back and forth through the trees like a drunken mule until Ezra had taken pity on him and turned himself in. 

The hunter was terse in his speech, likely weary from the chase. Ezra could sympathize, he was weary from running. It had almost been a relief when that last hunter had attacked him and forced him to crash the pod on this moon. Though his relief had quickly turned to dismay when Ezra had done a full turn outside his pod and realized just what was making all the pollen in the air.

Serpentia, Serpent's Tongue. He had never encountered the plant in the proverbial flesh, but once upon a time he had been accidentally doused with the extract when a holding tank had burst while he was on a job site.

His skin crawled as he remembered the torment that followed during his solitary confinement. He had been nigh-certain he would not recover, clawing free of the haze that had gripped him with the barest vestiges of his mental faculties. 

This moon's Serpentia population seemed infinitely kinder than the concentrate he had encountered, if only for its soft, creeping approach. It lapped at the base of his brain, dulled the edge of his panic until he was nearly comfortable with the ache that licked hot in his groin. 

But thank Kevva for this bounty hunter lumbering through the brush! With a little luck, Ezra would be able to persuade him to accept a few pearls of aurelac in lieu of dragging him back to face that greatly-exaggerated justice.

...

According to the limited information from the Crest's scans, the air on this moon was perfectly safe to breathe. 

And if what Mando had said was right, he probably would need the ship to himself for a little while to decontaminate. So you had posted up beside the ramp once he had departed, occasionally wiping the sweat off your brow. The atmosphere was humid and you watched as breezes too delicate for you to even feel nudged the thick pollen in the air this way and that. 

The moon was liberally coated with lush vegetation; just finding a place to safely land the Razor Crest had been a Herculean effort. You wondered vaguely if there was a lake or spring nearby that you would be able to cool off in. The ship's fresher was functional, of course, but its water had been sitting in the holding tank for a few cycles now and it smelled rusty. 

The pollen covered everything, orange-red substance sticking to your already-damp skin. You grimaced, wondering if maybe you should have put on your suit. But no, the atmosphere was safe. The scans had said so, and you already spent so much of your time in your thick suit…

The sunshine felt wonderful after all the hyperspace travel, like a warm embrace from a friend. You caught yourself wondering what Mando's hug might feel like. Probably uncomfortable, what with all the beskar. You scoffed at your thoughts. You really needed to stop thinking about him like that, he was technically your boss even if he called you his partner. So what if he had passed out on top of you? That had been an infection thing.

It wasn't as if he had stroked your cheek before he dropped, his voice breaking when he called you Senaar... 

So what if you had solicited not one, but two Mandalorians during your last stop on Nevarro? 

It wasn't as if he noticed anything that you did, aside from when it had inconvenienced him. It wasn't as if you couldn't handle your little infatuation with him, even if it did result in you seeking out Mandos that would give you attention.

You propped your chin up on your hand, your eyes half-focusing on the dust floating in the air. It was nice to just relax for once, though there was a little guilty sensation in your stomach. Because Mando was out there working, while you...were lounging around, soaking up the sunlight.

You weren't sure how long you sat there, but you finally got up with a groan and a stretch that felt heavenly. You would investigate the surrounding area, you decided, maybe you could rustle up something fresh. If you couldn't be active on the hunt for the quarry, you could at least restock the larders.

After what only felt like a few steps, you quickly stumbled across thick vines that bore an unfamiliar, violet-hued fruit. The fruit was the size of your fist, and the skin had slight give to it. Light-colored flowers dotted the vine here and there, their tiny stamens crested with heavy crowns of thick pollen. Clearly you had located one of the many sources of the dust that choked the air. 

You picked one of the fruits and propped it up on a flat rock, using your trusty field knife to slice it open. It had orange pulp inside it, and a small hollow in the middle filled with pinkish fluid. The whole fruit reminded you of a sunset. Dimly, you thought that you probably shouldn't be touching this fruit with your bare skin, on the off chance that it might be caustic or toxic. But it looked delicious. 

Surely just a little taste wouldn't hurt?

The pinkish fluid was almost overwhelmingly sweet, and sticky. It dribbled down your chin when you tipped the fruit to slurp it up. You laughed at yourself, tugging your tunic to scrub at your face. 

Mando will love these.

You weren't sure where the thought came from, but obviously it was true. The idea of Mando being alone, slipping off his helmet to eat...the juice from the fruit glistening on his mouth…

Your breathing had quickened. You carefully harvested more of the round fruit, tucking the ripe produce into the makeshift cradle of your tunic. Once you decided you had enough, you turned on your heel and went to make your way back to the Crest. 

...

No.

No no no no no-

Din stared at the partially-ajar ramp on the Crest and he wanted to yell. 

"Oh dear." Ezra murmured faintly. "What a predicament." He had been getting quieter and quieter the closer they drew to the ship, so hearing him talk again sent a jolt down Din's spine. "You left your egress open? How careless of you."

"I didn't." Din snarled, wrapping his fingers around the binders on Ezra's wrists. You. The throbbing in his stomach lurched.

Ezra's eyes widened and he abruptly planted his feet. Din hadn't realized just how off-kilter he was, normally something like a shift in weight wouldn't be enough to make him stagger. But he almost toppled, barely getting his balance back in time. "Is there someone else on that ship?" Ezra asked sharply. 

"Of course." Din didn't even think to lie. "Partner."

"Would they have wandered? Exposed themselves?" The prospector-thief-quarry continued to quiz him and Din resented it just a little. 

"Be quiet," He grunted, tapping at his gauntlet to open the ramp, "and get in the fucking hold."

Ezra abruptly drew himself up to his full height. "I do not believe you actually want me to do that." He intoned with difficulty, his teeth gritted. "Putting myself, yourself and the potential of one more infected person into an enclosed space is a very…" His words faltered. "Oh."

Din whirled, visor traveling up the ramp into the dim hold. And just barely visible at the edge of the ramp, a small pile of what looked like fruit--was that your leg?! He lunged forward, his blaster ready. 

"I would not advise you to approach them!" Ezra barked.

"Fuck you!" Din snapped, striding up the ramp to kneel alongside your body. He crushed one of the fruits beneath his knee, lurid pink juice erupting to soak into his suit. The color was high in your cheeks, your body blotchy with flush. Pollen encrusted your neck and shoulders, drifted through your hair; something pink and shiny coated your lips like a strange gloss.

Din caught himself leaning in and jerked back at the urgency in Ezra's voice when the prospector called, "Do they breathe, man?"

"Be quiet!" Djarin roared. Why hadn't he checked that first? What was wrong with him? He shoved his vambrace against your mouth, his chest clenching in relief when your breath fogged the metal. Stars. 

"I'm afraid this complicates things quite significantly." Ezra said loudly, fidgeting at the base of the ramp. "I was unaware you had a partner of the...other biological persuasion. Had it just been you and I, two masculine-presenting bipeds, things would have been miles simpler."

"What the hell are you saying now?" Din was getting tired of this shit, tired of listening to the other man talk. 

"This plant is...shall we say, heteronormative." Ezra drawled, waving his bound hands in the air to illustrate the cloying pollen. Din cocked his head in confusion. "You know, masculine and feminine? Male and female? Different. Hetero."

Djarin scoffed derisively. "My people don't care about that shit." 

"A noble practice to be certain, very forward-thinking."

"This is the Way." The Mandalorian replied. 

Ezra soldiered on, "Unfortunately, the plant that infests this planet does indeed differentiate. Fruit for the female, pollen for the male." He added hurriedly, "in the biological sense, of course! I will not make any assumptions about your partner. The fruit is a...a catalyst. Are you familiar with the old-Earth religious writings, the ones that mention the Garden? Or perhaps the Greek pantheon may have been more your style?" When Djarin shook his head, Ezra sighed. "The genus name in Basic is slippin' my mind. But this particular iteration is known as Serpent's Tongue, Serpentia. It is Medusine in nature and it inspires feelings of…" Ezra paused, licking his lips nervously. "Heat."  

"Heat." Din repeated blankly, knowing that he must be missing something. 

Ezra ducked his head, breaking eye contact. "As in, being in heat." The man clarified after a moment. 

"Excuse me?" 

"I'm-"

"Excuse me?" Din snarled, running his fingers through the juices that coated his knee. It was thick, sticky like syrup, why was it warm--He bolted to his feet and stalked back down the ramp. Ezra took a step back, and then another, the quarry obviously wary of him. Good. The satisfied feeling took some of the edge off his frustrated panic. "So what the hell is wrong with my partner?" Din grated out.

"Er, to couch it in layman's terms…" Ezra hesitated, clearing his throat. "They are aroused."

Aroused. Aroused. Aroused. "Sexually?" Din hated the way the word came out, all breathy like he was a youngling that had just learned about the wonders of copulation. 

Ezra nodded, grimacing. "From the sound of your tone, I would hazard a guess that the two of you have not been intimate."

"Why would we have been?" Din retorted bluntly.

Ezra raised an eyebrow, seeming as if he was avoiding looking at you. Good. Mine. Din had no idea where the hell that thought came from. "Oh of course, I was foolish to assume so blatantly." The prospector muttered. "That does complicate your own matters further, however. Were you previously sexually intertwined, this would have been much more simple." He suddenly doubled over at the waist, a loud grunt forced from his mouth and a low exclamation of, "fuck, fuck-"

The curse sent a hot flicker down Din's spine and it took him a second to realize that you had made a noise in reply. You sounded dazed, scared. He whirled on the ramp and knelt again, taking your hand. "Senaar, you coming around?" Your eyes looked...wrong, blinking open slowly; your pupils were blown like you'd been spiced. 

You stared up at him for several long seconds before your mouth opened. "Wanted to make lunch." You managed to say. "I don't feel good." 

"Well, you don't look so great either." Din said gruffly. 

"Bastard." You groaned at him, trying to sit up. "Maker, I feel so hot, I...oh! Oh no, you smushed one." You appeared to have noticed the remains of the sticky fruit currently seeping into his knee. "I wanted you to try it. Tastes...tastes...it's so sweet Mando, s'like candy." You saying his name (even if it wasn't his actual name, shit) was like a lightning bolt to his groin. You dragged your hand over his knee, gathering up the remnants of the fruit and then sliding your fingers into your mouth. 

You brought him food. His lungs felt too full and not full enough. Stars, the idea of you feeding him that, smearing it all over his mouth with those pretty little fingers-

No, the helmet. The helmet. He couldn't take off the helmet. The Creed.

He jerked his head up, looking to Ezra. The other man was still doubled over, holding his midsection as best as he could with his hands bound. 

A dark, uncharacteristically evil thought wound its way into Din's mind, sweet and smokey like a good ne'tra gal. "Get in the ship." He grunted. Ezra glanced up and Din was a little startled by the level of emotion he displayed. He wasn't used to seeing expressions play out on his own face. The other man seemed wildly uncomfortable and Din found that grounding, for whatever reason. 

"I do not dare to." Ezra panted finally. "Just being this close is...immensely troubling. I am not the master of my own body at this moment, Steerforth."

"Is this the target?" You asked softly. Din nodded and he could almost feel your eyes raking over the other man. "What happened? He's hurt."

Shit, he had nearly forgotten. Ezra was still bleeding from his arm. The quarry had obviously forgotten as well, clearly dealing with a much more pressing matter. 

You beckoned to the other man and Din had to rein in the knee-jerk reaction to grab his blaster as Ezra reluctantly approached. He had never been territorial about you before, what the hell was the matter with him? 

Ezra halted a good five feet away from you, keeping his head down. "I am Ezra. I apologize in advance for my untoward behavior." He muttered, his voice gone so low and gravelly he actually did sound like Din. The Mandalorian's stomach pitched uncertainly. "I am not myself at this point in time."

"What happened to your arm?" Your tone was warm, concerned. Din's fists clenched. "Did Mando do that?"

"Oh, no! Of course not. Your compatriot has been nothing if not a complete gentleman." Ezra replied wryly. "I sustained this injury during a previous floater's quarrel."

…

You hummed and you saw Mando stiffen up out of the corner of your eye. What was wrong with him? One second he had been leaning over you, all worry and hand holding. The next, he was barking at the quarry. 

And the quarry was hurt. Ezra, Ezra, his slow drawl making your head swim and your chest tingle. Never mind Mando, what was wrong with you? You felt so strange, like you were hyper-fixated. 

Maker, maybe you shouldn't have eaten that fruit. "I'm sorry." You apologized to Mando, your lower lip beginning to quiver. "I just wanted to give-"

"Be quiet." He ordered, his voice startlingly gentle. A gloved thumb pressed to your lower lip and you stared up at him, opening your mouth automatically even though you knew he was just wiping the juice away. You were startled when he slid his thumb into your mouth, but you obligingly cleaned the juice from the leather with your tongue. Shouldn't this be strange? But Mando just did it, like it was normal. Maybe it was normal. 

Your mind flew back to your sultry encounter on Nevarro, how you had occupied yourself while Mando wrapped up his business with the Guild, and warmth lanced through your stomach as you recalled greedy gloved hands grasping and caressing your bare skin-

"Steerforth, if you are to carry on in that heated demonstration I must plead for the carbonite treatment that you were so hellbent on throwing myself into earlier." Ezra sounded like he was in pain. "I have only endured this once before and it was a torment that threatened my already-tenuous sanity. Have fucking mercy man, I implore-"

"Be quiet." Mando snapped, "we have to treat your arm, right?"

"Fuck." Ezra swore again, the sound writhing through your belly. "Hurry then."

"Get in the ship. I'll turn on the filters."

"Do not leave me alone with them, I implore you!" Ezra cried, that domed helmet finally tilting enough for you to catch a glimpse of his face. "I am not the master of my own body, Steerforth." 

His eyes were dark, impossibly dark, and frantic as he argued with Mando. His skin seemed tanned or olive through the sun-struck dome of his suit's helmet. Short brown hair was plastered flat to his forehead with sweat, and the lower half of his face was coated in a somewhat unkempt mess of facial scruff. Too long to be five o'clock shadow, but too bedraggled to be dubbed anything else.

Roguish, you decided, wanting to laugh at yourself. He looks roguish. What a ridiculous thought to have! Not obviously dangerous like Mando, but still dangerous. Was that your heartbeat throbbing in your ears? You sighed softly, taking a step towards the other man without meaning to. 

Mando's hand was suddenly on your arm. "Hold it. Treatment. We have to treat his wound." He said gruffly. 

You nodded. Of course. Who knew what he had been exposed to through the breach in his suit? "I was going to help him walk?"

Mando shook his head. "You get the kit. You've got no gear on. He's contaminated." He reasoned. "Get me the kit and then seal yourself into the cockpit so we can filter the hold." You nodded again and his hand found your cheek, gloved fingers grazing your neck before he jerked back. "S...Sorry." he apologized.

"It's okay." You whispered.

…

Ezra, helmet discarded and suit stripped to the waist, flinched away from Din's touch yet again. "Stop. This is a bad wound. It'll get infected if I do this wrong." Din snapped. He rarely encountered blaster wounds that didn't self-cauterize, even though that tended to come with its own set of problems.

"I do not mean to tear free." Ezra protested. "Blood flow has increased. I am…" He paused, biting his lower lip. "Sensitive. Surely you have a handheld? One of the burners? Just burn it shut man, Kevva, I cannot even endure the graze of your fingers." 

"If I give you a burner patch, it'll seal in the infection." Din reasoned, flushing the wound again. "Focus on something else."

"I cannot." Ezra said sharply. "There is only one matter my brain currently wishes to focus on, and it is not the dire straits of my wounded arm." 

"Them?" Din asked, keeping his voice low. 

Ezra shot him a guilty look from beneath his sweat-matted fringe of brown hair, finally nodding. "It is ludicrous, but I feel as though I can taste them." He confessed. "Gods, I wish I had never landed on this accursed moon. I wish I had never encountered the Serpentia."

"What will happen?" Din did his best to maintain his vocal level as he bandaged the other man's wound.

"Arousal. Sheer, unadulterated arousal. You ache, like the worst fever you've ever had. I've heard it is even more excruciatin' for those of the other human biological persuasion, due to their genitals being internal. Though it is Medusine in nature, so it has a...failsafe, of sorts. You are seized with the primal instinct to mate, conquer, claim. It does not stop until you have buried your...until you have sheathed yourself in an orifice." Ezra was gasping for air. Obviously just talking about it was enough to cause him distress, either that or Djarin was being rougher than he thought. "Steerforth please, I-"

"This will cause them pain?" Din asked slowly. 

Ezra nodded jerkily. "I have been told it's like a sickly, stabbing heat. Fingers are not enough to…er, extinguish the flames." His cheeks flushed. "The tongue soothes, but not overlong. Internals require certain length, and...rigidity." Din didn't miss the way his eyes flickered down to the beskar that covered his upper thighs. "When last I encountered this damned flora, I suffered the effects alone and I felt as if I would go mad."

Tongue. Fingers. Rigidity. Din's mind reeled. "Specifics." He gritted out, his body awash with heat in his armor when Ezra made a pitiful noise.

"Kevva, have mercy on me Steerforth."

"I said. Specifics." Din fisted a glove in the other man's hair, tilting his head back and forcing him to look up. Ezra moved, albeit reluctantly, the Adam's apple of his throat bobbing when he swallowed. "Specifics." Din repeated himself, a little softer this time.

Ezra shuddered all over. "They will seek you out. To be fucked." He said, cringing a bit as if he disliked using the word. "You must open them up with your tongue first, dissolve the Medusine barrier with saliva. That's the failsafe, you see, an individual of that biological persuasion who is suffering cannot be penetrated without tender effort. Ease into it and perhaps they will not loathe you when this madness has run its course-"

"I can't." Din interrupted. 

"What?" Ezra gawked at him. 

"I can't. T-Tongue. Not allowed. Forbidden." Din felt like he was drunk. "Helmet."

The other man's brow furrowed. "You can, I presume, take off other portions of your plate?"

Din shook his head, wishing that he could explain it better. "Technically yes, but it's frowned upon. Exceptions happen. And under no circumstances can I take the helmet off." 

"How in the Fringe have you ever-"

"I...inspire feelings in people." That was probably the most delicate way he could have said I cater exclusively to bipeds with a predator/prey fetish. Din grimaced. "I'm large and imposing. Usually that's...enough. No need for warm up." He said awkwardly. "Armor stays on."

"What a bewildering existence!" Ezra tilted his head in disbelief. "So you have never removed…?"

Din shook his head. "Not in the presence of others. The Creed forbids it."

"Your dedication is admirable, but unfortunately it leaves your partner twisting in the wind." The quarry pointed out. "I would offer my services, but I am an unknown and-"

"Yes." Din gritted out, that dark thought slithering back through his mind. 

"Yes?"

"Your services." Din took a deep breath. He didn't bargain with quarry, but this man had his face. He couldn't turn him in without jeopardizing everything he had sworn his life to. "In exchange, when this is...when they no longer require your services, I'll let you go."

Ezra's eyebrows bunched together. "I'm afraid I don't follow, Steerforth."

"I don't want them to be in pain." Din's voice grated in his throat and he watched Ezra's eyes widen in comprehension. "I don't want them to hurt."

"You...this is not just the Serpentia. You have a prior attachment to them."

"It doesn't matter what I do or don't have." Djarin muttered dismissively. "Because of the Creed, I...I can't. But you can."

"You can't give them your mouth, certainly, but there are-"

"If it's what makes it possible, you have to do it!" Din interjected sharply. "I don't want them to hurt."

"I need you to comprehend what you're askin' of me!" Ezra shot back, his bound fists clenched tight enough to whiten his knuckles. "They don't know me from Job, and you're all but demanding I violate their trust-"

"I don't want them to hurt!" Din roared, startling himself with his own furious reaction. Whatever else he was about to say was cut off by your staggering descent on the ladder. You looked unwell. Ezra skittered back a few steps, falling on his ass with a muffled swear. 

"Mando?" Your voice wavered and you swayed at the ladder. Din lurched forward, tucking you into his arms as you sniffled, "I don't feel so good. I think I'm sick." You were radiating heat that he could feel even through his suit. Your tunic was soaked with sweat.

"Osi'kyr." Din cursed under his breath after he swapped to his infrared and saw just how brilliant your signature was. "Listen to me, alright Senaar?" He murmured, simultaneously loving and hating the way you nodded in a docile manner. "We know what can fix this. But it's not…" he paused, searching for the right term. 

"Appropriate." Ezra supplied loudly. 

"I feel awful." Your whimper made Din's stomach ache. His cock rubbed against the confines of his compression leggings. 

Ignore it.

"I know you do." Din pressed his palm to your forehead. "Listen to me. We can fix this. You trust me, right?" Your nod was immediate and Din barely stifled his groan. "Ezra knows what's wrong. Ezra can help."

"He can help?" You echoed blearily, looking past Din. "Okay. He said something about the fruit before, right? I shouldn't have eaten it. M'sorry. Was it poison?"

"Poison may have been simpler to endure." Ezra muttered. "It is an aphrodisiac. Do not blame yourself. The fruit is visually appealing for a reason, otherwise the plant would not be able to propagate."

…

Aphrodisiac. Your mouth was flooded with that sweet taste at the sound of Ezra's drawling voice, the groan that followed burrowing into your blood. 

You had never felt this way before. Your body ached and twisted, arousal pooling uncomfortably in your pelvis. Everything felt like it was trapped, your tunic sticking to your skin with sweat. Aphrodisiac. 

"Please pay attention." Ezra sighed. "I understand this is incredibly distracting, but I have a limited window of coherence." He was trembling slightly, still avoiding your eyes. "Your partner has requested I aid you where he cannot. I will not harm you." He said with gravity. "This is a situation which bodes exceptionally poorly and I am...I am truly sorry for dragging you into this mess."

"Oh, it's okay. Mando gets me into messes all the time." You brushed off his apology and Ezra choked out a bitter laugh. 

"I fear you may change your tune once the pain truly starts." He remarked.

"He says it'll hurt." Mando murmured. "Like stabbing."

You knew your eyes widened with fear because Mando was quick to envelope you in his arms again. He had never been this touchy before. It was...strangely nice. The coolness of his armor felt wonderful on your skin and you moaned in relief. Mando went stiff at your noise, his gloved fingers clutching the nape of your neck. Up until this point, you had just felt some minor throbbing. Distracting, but negligible.

This was different.

...

Your breath hitched in your throat and your fists curled into his suit, knees buckling as a low, wavering cry left your lips. Din jerked at the sound. He had never heard you make that kind of noise before, not even when you had been shot--

Oh he was fucked. He was so fucked. Was he excited or terrified? "Easy, you're okay, you're okay," he soothed, clumsily brushing the hair back from your face. Who was he even trying to convince?! 

"Make your choice expediently, Steerforth. Am I to be thrown in carbonite or put to work?" Ezra queried through gritted teeth. 

"You know I would never do anything to hurt you." Din said to you, ignoring the other man for the moment. "I won't let anything happen to you. I need you to trust me for right now, alright? We can fix this."

Your grip on him tightened even further. "I don't like how this feels." You whispered. 

Din closed his eyes in a futile attempt to ward off his own self-loathing, pressing your cheek against his breastplate. "I know, Senaar. I'll be right here with you. I just...can't give you what you'll need." He stuttered, offering on a desperate whim, "I-I can hold you, if you want." You nodded frantically into his armor. 

"If you have a...a blanket. A sheet. Something for the floor, we are going to make a mess and I am uncertain if we will be able to protect your partner's modesty." Ezra muttered, his bound hands resting surreptitiously over his groin. "They may be more enthusiastic than one would anticipate."

Din patted your elbow, trying to gentle his voice. "Go get your pillow." 

"O-Okay." You gulped. 

Din tore into one of his many lockers once you released him, the armored man frantically digging around for his extra bedding. Ezra staggered to his feet, moving in close to Din. So that you wouldn't hear him speak, no doubt. 

"There is still time for you to freeze me, Steerforth. I am not a man without morality, tattered though it may be." He murmured, and Din noticed that his weary brown eyes were surrounded by the same deep lines and cracks that Djarin's own face sported. The Mandalorian hadn't ever paid much mind to just how many expressions he still made beneath the helmet, probably because he knew no one would see them.

Din grabbed the other man's shoulder, searching those eyes. Ezra stared at his impenetrable visor, probably confused by his silence. "I need your help." Din rasped seriously. He didn't trust this guy as far as he could throw him, but he could live with the uneasy truce if it would…if it meant that he could…

Stars, this was all so damn wrong. 

Ezra finally nodded. "I will do my best to assist with the...emotional aftermath. This is not your fault, or theirs. This is merely an unfortunate side effect of a hazardous occupation."

"Thank you."

Ezra's eyebrows shot up, but other than that he gave no indication of his surprise. Din elbowed him to the side, unfolding the thick blanket and spreading it out carefully on the floor of the hold.

…

This was certainly an odd predicament. 

Ezra could not say he had ever been in such a charged scenario, despite his checkered history. His jaw worked thoughtfully as he watched the armored man devote an obscene amount of care to smoothing the wrinkles out of his blanket. 

Arousal swirled around him like the thick pollen outside, but it was tempered by the terrible memory of that singular past experience where he had rubbed himself bloody on the inside of his suit. He knew he was worse off than Steerforth. No, what had you called him? Mando. 

Curious. 

A Creed that prevented the devout from showing the world their face.

Curious. And familiar, somehow. Ezra spooled his mind back, trying to recall why it was familiar. He couldn't focus however, his own breathing becoming too distracting. 

Mando hadn't gotten nearly as much of the pollen as him. The other man seemed unbearably, impossibly calm in the light of what was about to occur. Maybe it was an illusion afforded by that unreadable helm, or brought about by his lack of prior experience.

Ezra was wildly jealous all the same. "What is their name?" He asked softly. 

Mando fixed him with a look and Kevva, that helmet was indeed imposing. "I call them Senaar. It...it means bird." He sounded reluctant, like he didn't even want to give up that much. "Names are sacred in the Creed. I couldn't give them mine so they didn't give me theirs, but I had to call them something."

"No names in the Creed, either?" Ezra asked incredulously. 

The armored man shook his head. "To outsiders we are all Mando. To us, we are Mando'ade. This is the Way."

"A veritable legion of nameless, featureless warriors." Ezra muttered, mainly to himself. He rattled his restraints after a moment. "Am I to remain bound during this frotfest, Steerforth?"

"I'm not stupid enough to give you free range. Be grateful I didn't secure them behind your back instead." Mando snarked.

"I will not harm your little bird." Ezra protested.

"I know." Mando leaned in slightly, broad shoulders made even more intimidating by the blue-steel pauldrons that graced them. "I would kill you before you got the chance."

Oh, such confidence! Ezra wished he was in his right mind, he would obliterate this smug cretin--

His breath caught in his throat as you returned from your excursion. Gods, he had nearly forgotten what he was being called to do. He warred with the obscene urge that dragged his gaze to the crux of your thighs. "A divine sight." He murmured, not lying for once. This entire day had been remarkably truthful. 

You actually gave him a ribald wink, and that eased his conscience slightly. Perhaps you were not the unsullied, blushing virgin he had feared you might be. Obviously you had used the time you took to grab your pillow wisely, maybe even given yourself a bit of a pep talk. 

"Have you done this before?" Ezra asked, half-joking. He heard Mando audibly gulp in that damn bucket when you nodded, a pained smile curving your lips. "Not under the effects of such altering substances, I pray?" 

"Nah, nothing like that." You replied, shaking your head. "It was back on Nevarro, I-"

"Nevarro?" Mando hissed. "You disappeared on me for hours. That's what you were up to?!"

You shrugged weakly. "It doesn't really matter but...there were two Mandalorians, and I wanted, um, something that seemed familiar, I guess." You admitted, your tone remarkably cool for the subject matter. 

Ezra hid his grin. He was hardly immune to the allure of saucy gossip, and there was nothing quite like gossip that had no particular bearing on him. "Two?!" The armored man's voice squeaked even through the thick modulation and Ezra burst out laughing, the binders knocking his jaw when he tried to stifle his mirth. 

"I meant more whether you had engaged in copulation in general, but I suppose that would have been a pertinent question as well." He mused once he got himself under control, the low buzz in his stomach blossoming into an excited thrum. "How fortunate that you would be so generous when it comes to your partners, little bird."

"What do you mean, familiar?" Mando carried on over him, obviously agitated by the fresh knowledge that his partner may or may not have some...tendencies. Ezra almost wanted to laugh again; you were nothing if not painfully transparent. Seeking out others like the armored man to have their way with you? Clearly you harbored some sort of affection, kept secret and safe by the walls that humans build around themselves.

But Serpentia had a funny way of sliding that dastardly pink slick through all defenses, leaving the body raw and exposed.

"I mean familiar." You replied, your pillow like a shield between yourself and Mando. Ezra settled back to watch the show, well aware that his smirk was probably insufferable. "I have needs, you know." You continued primly. 

Mando's fists clenched on his thighs before he pointedly flattened them back out, fingers dragging over the plates. "I...I'm sorry. I shouldn't...I'm sorry." He mumbled, patting his leg. 

You wavered again and nearly fell. The armored man caught you, settling you down with a cautious tenderness that fired a thrower shot of arousal directly into Ezra's gut. He had always been a weak fool for chivalry, though he was able to display precious little of it in his own life. Oh, this was the best kind of story. 

...

Your face burned with embarrassment; why had you told him about your rendezvous with two other members of his Creed? It was like the words just fell out of your mouth, like your brain itself was against you. 

You could still remember the way the larger one had pressed his forehead to your own and then encouraged you down his chest to his groin, the way his helmet had tipped back--

A new flood of warmth swept into your cunt and you bit down on your hand to stifle your noise at the pain that followed. Mando paused, then laid your pillow between his open legs. "Lay down on your back." He muttered, patting his leg again. "This way you can see me. I'll be right here."

"I'm-"

"Don't apologize, please." Mando cut you off. "Once this is over, once everything is...over, I...listen, we'll operate as a sealed unit. This maneuver is scrubbed from the start. I never found the quarry. Nothing that we say or do here will ever be mentioned again. Understood?"

Your breath caught in your throat. He was giving you an out. Or himself, you were uncertain. You nodded slowly and his shoulders drooped a little, but whether he was relieved or disappointed…

Well, some secrets were meant to stay that way. 

Ezra nodded his own agreement. "It is best to have certain protocol already in place when engaging in uncharted waters." He muttered. "Decidedly militant, but I must surmise your Creed taught you that."

"This is the Way." Mando said firmly. 

"If we are operating under burner infantry orders, then I must voice my trepidation about this engagement," Ezra confessed to you. "I have endured this crisis once before and it was not a pleasant experience. I do not envy the pain I am certain you feel at this moment, but I also know that you are in a...compromised and sensitive position. I...if any advance is unwanted, I trust you will inform me. And if I do not respond, if I am too far gone, please have your associate rescind my invitation." He gestured at Mando with his bound hands. 

"Wh-What are you going to do to me?" You asked, your voice high in your ears even as you let Mando maneuver you down to the blanket.

"I am going to do for you what your companion cannot, little bird." Ezra's tongue dampened his lips nervously. "And only that, if I understand the situation correctly."

"What he…" you trailed off as a thought occurred to you. Ezra hummed quietly as if to confirm and the sound reverberated through your core, making you whine and squirm restlessly. "Oh, what, stars, you mean-"

"My mouth, little bird." He had a tiny section of blond hair on the right side of his head, the tuft residing rakishly just at his hairline. You hadn't noticed until now, but the whimsical little patch seemed to soften his stern features. "You will need the saliva, regrettably. I am certain that the idea of the mouth of a lowly aurelac harvester on you is a repulsive one, but it is the only way to get the proverbial ball rolling." 

"Wait, you have to eat me out?" You asked in confusion, trying to get back up. "Hang on, I should shower, I'll-" Agony raked down your spine and you spasmed, a breathy sound of pain forcing itself past your lips.

Ezra's incredulous chuckle soothed the sensation back down to a manageable level. "What an unexpected offer, little bird! I cannot recall the last time someone bathed specifically for me. You will wholly ensnare me if you continue such considerate behavior." 

…

Din's body felt like it was on fire in his armor. 

You had gone looking for people like him. 

You had gone looking for Mandos because you wanted familiarity. The idea of you sussing out more of his brothers or sisters because you had needs-

Din wasn't sure if he would survive this particular encounter. He was gripping his cuisses so tightly that the leather of his gloves burned against his fingertips. Mandalorians weren't celibate by any stretch of the imagination, but the Creed could make things...more difficult than they needed to be for a variety of species.

Ezra, despite his hands being bound, was remarkably capable. The man had coached you through the pain when you had tried to move, his voice obviously helping you somehow. Djarin wasn't sure if he was jealous or grateful. Maybe both.

The fact that this was causing you to suffer had him loathing how stiff his cock was in his compression leggings, even though from what he had gathered he couldn't actually help that particular reaction. 

"I must beg your assistance in disrobing." Ezra was saying softly, tugging at the overly-knotted waistband of your loose pants. "Please, little bird."

"Right, yeah, of course." You mumbled and Djarin could hear the pain in your voice, could feel the twitchy little flinches as you tried to follow Ezra's directions. 

Hesitantly, the Mandalorian moved his hands up until they rested on your shoulders. You exhaled a breathy little moan, nuzzling your cheek against his glove in what he had to assume was thanks.

"Better." You gasped, seeming more sure as you struggled to undo the sash at your waist. 

"Well done, Steerforth." Ezra praised, causing something warm and wet to pour into Din's abdomen. The armored man's breathing stuttered, was this what Ezra had been feeling the entire time they had been walking? Stars, how had he even managed-

His cock lurched against the tight hold of his leggings, precome dampening his stomach. Without meaning to, Din's fingers tightened on your shoulders and he grunted quietly. 

Your eyes shot up, locking with his visor. He knew you couldn't actually see him, but at that moment he felt exposed. "You alright?" You asked quietly, your breath hiccuping when Ezra brushed the stubble of his jaw against your naked thigh. Din ached to do that himself, Maker he wished-

"I'm fine." He choked, like he wasn't roasting alive from the double-edged heat of artificial arousal and jealousy. His left hand slid down, resting at the hollow of your throat. It soothed his ego a little to see that your eyes were still on him, despite what the quarry was about to do. 

Ezra, he reminded himself. This man wasn't prey anymore, for all that he was keeping the binders on. Din at least needed that level of control. He needed the stability.

That recurrent devious thought surged forward again, dark and heady. Utilizing Ezra, he could indulge vicariously in the hazy desires he had fought for cycles. The wish to bury his face between your legs and eat you out until you cried, like in the raunchy imagecasts he picked up on rare occasion. Putting his bare hands on you, stars-

Din Djarin was a man of extreme self-control. So far, he hadn't overstepped or shamed the Creed, unless you counted the time he was loaded out of his mind with bacteria-laden quills. He hadn't realized just how many of them were embedded in his back until his vision started getting blurry as he was standing over the nexu's dead body. Served him right for letting the feline get the drop on him before he put his backplate on.

You had been so worried when he returned. You were patched into his coms so you obviously heard the struggle he had dispatching the creature. Heard how ragged his breath got and how hard he had to actually fight. 

Din vaguely remembered flopping down on his belly with you hovering over him, pliers in one hand and bacta shot already buried in the meat of his shoulder. Stars, it was great to have a partner sometimes. If he had come back to just the kid like that, he'd probably be dead from an infection. You didn't even make him take off his suit, you just worked around it. 

You ended up removing thirty-seven quills of various lengths, most of them bearing nasty hooked barbs. The pain had hit different because of the infection, leaving Djarin trembling boneless and silent on the floor of the hold while you wriggled quills out of his back. He had never felt more helpless, more vulnerable, beskar be damned. 

"It's alright. I'm glad you made it back." You had said calmly. "I'm not letting you go alone next time, though."

"Thank you, Senaar…"

Din's face flushed when he recalled how badly his voice had cracked when saying the name he called you by, less speech and more a plaintive cry. The way his glove had slipped over the skin of your cheek, and how he had longed to remove that glove...

Maker, he sullied the Creed with his inability to reconcile over lack of touch. The hunger for skin-to-skin contact that reared its ugly head every time you were out of your heavy exosuit and durasteel served as a painful reminder, one much more poignant than the simple weight of his helm, that he was a Mandalorian.

But this doppelganger loophole was a gift to be thoroughly exploited and he wasn't about to waste that opportunity. 

Ezra buried his face between your legs and Din felt the way your entire body coiled up in anticipation, another trembling cry leaving your lips and your hands twisting frantically into the blanket beneath you. "Mando-!"

His name, his name, you were saying his name even with another man's mouth giving you pleasure. Djarin couldn't help the satisfied little growl that left his lips and made its way through his modulator. He heard Ezra chuckle, the other man pausing to shoot him a sly wink over the length of your body. Din nearly laughed.

"Ezra," He said instead, his voice coming out rougher than he intended. "Make them cry."

He stopped caring about how wrong it was.

…

You gasped at Mando's words, already inches from bursting into tears. Ezra's mouth was slowly coaxing you open, the stubble on his cheeks and jaw rubbing your thighs. Every pass of his tongue, every gentle press and suckle sought to untangle the knotted ball of heat in your belly, but you were certain you would lose your mind before you managed to disperse the agonizing feeling.

You were too full, almost too aroused to handle Ezra's mouth on your cunt but you were positive if he stopped licking at you, you would die. Heat felt like it was sloshing in your belly, there was so much of it...

Ezra placed a series of delicate kisses on your clit, each one lighter than the last. His hands, still secure in their binders, clutched your right thigh for purchase when he pulled back to gulp air. His expression was dazed, eyes managing to focus on the armored man that loomed over you after several long seconds. "Will you not indulge, Steerforth?" He sounded like he was almost begging Mando, voicing what you couldn't bring yourself to say. "They ask for you, how can you sit there so damned impassive?"

Your breath caught in your throat when you heard Mando exhale raggedly, the bounty hunter muttering, "M' not impassive. There's nothing I-"

"Touch them, for fuck's sake!" Ezra cried, pointedly rattling his cuffs. "I cannot do both. We must work together!"

The Mandalorian lurched suddenly up onto his knees, then sprawled over your body, slamming one hand down to support his weight before wrapping his fingers in the neck of Ezra's tattered thermal shirt. "You don't call the shots here, quarry." He snarled in That Voice, the one that he reserved for his bounties.

Your hands crept up to his hips, hyper aware of the sweet taste in your mouth and how good this would feel. 

…

Ezra stared at the pitch-black visor inches from his nose. Felt the strength in the gloved hand that threatened to do much more than stretch his shirt.

The prospector took a mental inventory of his body at this juncture, a bit surprised and entertained to find that he was thoroughly invested in this new direction the encounter had taken. Mando was no doubt glaring at him from the safety of that impregnable helm, the other man's hackles obviously raised by the jab from the prospector.

It mattered very little at this point in time, however, as Ezra heard a zipper fly open. Mando flinched so hard Ezra felt it in his back, and the sound you made was enough to get the devil to start sweating. "Seems that you may be outnumbered, Steerforth."

"Target rich--environment-" The armored man snarled. "Senaar, y-your--mouth, fuck-"

He stuttered. He stuttered. Ezra latched onto that weakness with a filthy grin, easily twisting out of the other man's grip to duck his head back down and taste you. Mando's other hand hit the blanket as you undulated your hips up to meet Ezra's mouth. Ezra could only imagine the noises you were making around the other man's cock. He knew you were making them by the way Mando's arms quivered. And wasn't that a sight, a man in full armor rendered helpless by the power of a warm, eager mouth on his cock. 

"Watch me now, Steerforth." Ezra crooned, tilting his face up to make presumed eye contact. "This is how you make them weep with pleasure." He was sure that his chin was dripping pink at this point and he knew, even without seeing the other man's face, that Mando was barely hanging on. He had to salute the armored man's dedication. A less devout individual would have given out before they made it to the floor.

The Medusine barrier that the Serpentia formed was slowly weakening under the gentle assault of his mouth, Ezra was pleased to notice. Of course, he wasn't exactly rushing, simply going at a steady pace to keep your pain to a bare minimum. You had begun to leak around the barrier, your arousal even warmer than he had expected. Ezra couldn't tell whether it was because he was under the effects of the pollen or whether it was reality that you tasted immaculate, but he reasoned that it didn't particularly matter. 

He was hungry enough to cope with either happenstance. 

"Little bird, fuck my face, won't you?" He requested sweetly, chuckling at your enthusiastic response. "Grind yourself to completion on my tongue, break the barrier so that your associate can sheathe himself balls deep in this delectable pussy and give you respite." 

...

"Fuck." Din rasped, his eyes wide behind the visor of his helmet. The way that Ezra spoke was like fucking music, the man wrapping filthy words in flowery, incomprehensible syntax. 

The Mandalorian's fingers tangled resolutely in the blanket, the armored man panting as you urged his aching dick even further down your throat. Your hands grappled with his thighs, shoving them wider and then taking two hungry handfuls of his rear to encourage him.

"Senaar-" he started to warn you off, but stopped dead when you moaned around him. Stars, he wondered how you could even breathe-- 

You pulled back, coughing and gasping. "You're doing so well, little bird." Ezra murmured from between your legs. Your only reply was to take Din's cock back into your mouth and oh fuck you weren't stopping-

Your hand found Djarin's in the blankets and you tugged on it, forcing him to try and figure out how to redistribute his weight so you could have the appendage. He managed it of course, he was a fucking Mandalorian after all, but there was a moment where he nearly lost his balance.

You guided his hand to your neck and Din couldn't fight back the groan he let out when he felt his cock bulging through your throat. Fuck, no one had ever been able to take this much of him into their mouth before, halfway was usually the stopping point. 

Djarin grunted and tilted his head down to watch you struggle, finally wrapping a hand around his cock and easing it back out of your mouth. Strands of saliva connected the engorged head of his dick to your lips. Din sighed stupidly at the sight, fisting his dick and coating his glove with your spit. "You're good at this, Senaar." He said gruffly, knowing that it wasn't really praise, not like how Ezra said it. But words had never been his forte. 

"Keep speaking to them Steerforth, they leak at every word out of your mouth." Ezra encouraged from between your legs. "That's right little bird, just a bit more…"

Din was startled, to say the least. You liked when he talked? "I…" he hesitated, then his brow furrowed. "Can't wait to fuck you, Senaar." You whimpered, your hips shuddering. "Fuck you until you don't remember your own fucking name." Din growled. "Breed you like a good Mando should, pump you full of my come just like my Creed-siblings did, right?"

You nodded against his thigh, your sweat seeping through his flight suit to meet his own liberal perspiration. He was so hot, his armor had never been this hot--

"Kevva, that's a kink I didn't anticipate." Ezra panted, pink slick smeared all over his nose and chin. "They certainly like it though, if I understand correctly."

Din could smell you, smell the sweet scent of that fruit mixed with your own arousal. His fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of Ezra's neck and he nearly headbutted him on reflex, barely reining the power back in time. Ezra seemed confused at first, the other man obviously dazed with heat and just sort of allowing Djarin to shove his face against his helmet. 

…

The helm was so cool, Ezra couldn't restrain a relieved sigh when he made contact. Mando appeared to be rubbing your essence all over his helmet, utilizing Ezra's face as a paintbrush. Unorthodox, but effective.

"Oh," Ezra realized, "you've got some sort of olfactory sensors in there, don't you. You lewd creature you!" He teased breathlessly. "If you think they smell sumptuous, I regret to inform you that their taste utterly puts that to shame." Words were heavy in his mouth, the prospector having to work harder and harder to put sentences together. It wouldn't be long before his senses wholly abandoned him, he was certain. "Release me, Steerforth, I must…I must carry out my end of the bargain." He groaned, struggling free. "We are almost at their climax."

Mando was nearly vibrating with anticipation, gloved fingers clawing at Ezra's hair. "Careful," was all the armored man said hoarsely. 

Ezra nodded, once again touched by the bounty hunter's surprising display of consideration for his partner. "When the barrier breaks, they will need your cock immediately, Steerforth. I will...not be coherent for much longer." He mumbled against your cunt, giving up on speech after Mando nodded.

With one last sweep of his tongue, the barrier dissolved. You sobbed out, your voice breaking as you writhed beneath your large companion and bucked your hips up against Ezra's eager mouth. Slick fairly poured out of you, leaking down your thighs and soaking the blanket beneath you. 

Ezra didn't remember wriggling his bound hands beneath your rear, simply returning to his senses with your legs over his shoulders and his lungs burning for air but you tasted so good, he felt raw with hunger. 

Mando's gloved hand covered nearly the entirety of his face, easing him back from his feast. Ezra watched the other man's chest heave in a daze until he suddenly remembered what he was doing. "I apologize, I...I am too far gone." He murmured in contrition, lowering your hips back to the floor. 

"Ask nicely to fuck their mouth." Mando ordered, his blunt words digging into Ezra's groin. "You said it hurt you last time because you were alone. You helped them not to hurt. If they don't want to let you to fuck their mouth though, I'll…" he hesitated, "I'll figure something else out. Nobody has to hurt."

"'Something else'?" Ezra repeated, stunned. What on earth could this armored man possibly be offering? Those gloves were remarkably soft, the leather worn smooth from a lifetime of use, no doubt- "Oh."

…

The pain had eased, only to be replaced by a searing emptiness. You squirmed beneath Mando, tangentially aware that he was engaged in a discussion with Ezra. Your hand flew to your pussy, the drenched area making an embarrassingly loud noise when you thrust two fingers into yourself in an effort to quell the ache. 

"Maker, please, please, Mando!" you begged, barely aware of what you were saying. The heat concentrated in your pelvis was burning you alive, desperate tears pouring down your face.

Mando stood to his full height, towering over you, just watching you quiver while you pleaded deliriously. He fairly ambled around your body, moving until he stood between your spread legs. His boot shoved your ankle, opening you even further, exposing every inch of you and the mess that covered the blanket under you. "Senaar." The low burr of modulation made you rock your hips up, whimpering and nodding when he stroked his cock like he was showing off.

Somewhere, deep in your soul, you prayed that he liked what he saw even without the strange pollen instigating. 

He knelt, gloved fingers curling beneath your chin to pull your eyes up from his thick, perfect cock and the puddle of precome it was currently weeping onto your pubic mound. His touch sent flickering trails of electricity through your body, and you could barely focus on what he was asking.

"Ezra...mouth?" 

You nodded rapidly, making Mando bark out what could have been a laugh. He cupped your jaw again, and then his hand stroked your hair in a way that was almost tender. 

"I'll make you feel better." He promised. Ezra was a mess, he looked like you felt. The quarry simply let Mando shove him down onto his knees, his eyes half-lidded. "Undo your suit." Mando ordered and Ezra shakily attempted to obey. He was having a difficult time with his hands still in the binders so you reached out, batting his hands away impatiently to unzip the lower portion of his exosuit.

His thermal leggings were threadbare like his shirt, the waffle-weave fabric soaked through. His cock visibly twitched when you exhaled sharply. "Do not tease me, little bird, I feel as if I am on death's doorstep." The man pleaded through his teeth, "I am raw and agony gnaws at my skin; please take me in your mouth." 

"I have to get your pants off." You tried to explain, fumbling with the article of clothing. The noise of despair he made had you frantically clawing at the pants, finally dragging them down low enough that his cock was freed. It slapped against his belly and he moaned, bound hands digging helplessly into your hair. 

"May I please have your mouth?" He requested raggedly. "I will not take it if you do not give it freely but please, little bird." 

After he had worked so hard to get you to come? You were nodding hurriedly before he finished speaking, and his deep, drawn-out groan of relief was like music to your ears when you swallowed him down. 

…

You were radiating warmth, your hips twitching and shifting restlessly even as you tried to get Ezra's dick out of his suit. Din had to hand it to the other man, he did ask nicely. 

But there were much more pressing matters to attend to. Mainly, your neglected cunt that was currently leaking all over the underside of his cock. Djarin took a steadying breath, and then slowly sank himself into your waiting heat.

Your cry of relief was fucking primal, a hungry, feral snarl that slithered hot and seething in his stomach under the beskar plate. Din was wholly, entirely lost, finding himself mentally shattered at the first stroke into your body. Your thighs trembled on either side of his hips and then your legs fell open, like you didn't have the strength to hold them up. 

Shit, he knew he should say something, he knew he should be reluctant about this, but it was like every cell of his body needed you to fucking survive. 

Maybe he always had. 

Din bared his teeth and growled back at you, his attention divided between watching you eagerly suck Ezra's cock and watching the way his own dick split you open. His passage was eased by the strange pink fluid that continued to ooze out of you, stars it was so hot-

Ezra's fingers tangled in your hair after a moment, the prospector cradling your head to his groin in a manner that could have almost been described as gentle.

"Is this how my Creed-siblings f-ucked you, Senaar?" Din's voice grated in his chest, the armored man barely aware of the heated words tumbling out of his mouth. "Filling you, claiming you, fucking your throat and pussy?"

"Kevva." Ezra breathed. "Your peculiar voice working in tandem with your cock appears to be the thing that turns them into a voracious harlot. I do not know if I have ever-" His sentence broke momentarily, "oh, fuck, very well little bird, take the whole of it then." He grunted, raking his fingers through your hair as you deepthroated him. "You are absolutely magnificent at that, you know." The other man praised shakily. 

Your cunt fluttered around Djarin's cock and he felt your arousal soak through his suit, hot fluid sliding down to coat his balls. "Stars, did you just come?" He groaned, unable to stop the filthy noise he made when you whined around Ezra's dick and nodded as best as you could. His fingers gripped your thigh, digging into the skin as he began to rut against you. The Mandalorian threw his head back, panting, "Feel so fucking--good around me, fuck, Senaar, so good-"

…

You felt like you were falling apart again and again. The taste, the sensations, the curling knot of heat in your belly that released inch by inch. Mando's hand on your thigh and Ezra's grip on your head were the things that allowed you to hold on to your sanity, but only just.

Mando was conquering you utterly, his dick driving into you with enough force that you knew you would be aching later, but in the moment you never wanted him to stop. You had craved him, wished for him for so long, to finally have him was total bliss. 

And Ezra, Ezra, his silky voice caressing your body as his bound hands carded through your hair. His cock choked you again and again and every time you had to pull back off of him for breath he praised you, talked about how good you were, how no one had ever taken him as deep as you…

You were in heaven. 

Ezra abruptly retreated, his cock smearing more precome across your lips. "If you continue on in this manner I will be undone, little bird." He muttered. "Your one-sided assault, while inescapably delicious, is rendering me wholly base. You wish for me to spill my seed on your face?" His hips twitched. "Or shall I fuck my come down your throat, request that you swallow every drop?" 

"Fuck it into them." Mando rasped before you could say anything in reply, a gloved hand grabbing your chin. "Fuck your load i-into that sweet little mouth of theirs. Give them what they fucking need, quarry." He demanded, and you nearly came again from how unhinged he sounded. 

"Well, little bird?" Ezra asked softly, his eyes dark with want. "Shall I take my pleasure from your lewd little mouth and let your beautiful throat milk me dry?"

"Please!" You begged, opening your mouth and sticking out your tongue to encourage him. 

Ezra sighed blissfully at the sight, lacing his fingers through your hair and encouraging you to take his cock until your nose rested against his groin. "Fuc-king gods, you are positively celestial." He groaned, "Relegating yourself to a singular partner would be doing you a disservice, little bird. I highly encourage you to weaponize your talents in whatever field you wish."

Come flooded your mouth, his cock twitching heavily against your tongue. Your eyes rolled back, your lungs burning for air and you dimly heard Mando snarl, dropping his helm to rest on your sternum. The metal was blessedly cool even through your tunic, helping to anchor you to reality. 

"Fucking touch me, please." Mando's voice shook even with the modulator, his words buzzing through your body. "Senaar please, fuck, pl-please, touch me, fucking--"

Your palms crashed into his shoulders, hips bucking upwards to meet his next thrust and you came again. Mando made a noise that you could only liken to a roar, the armored man grappling at your hips and grinding himself against your dripping cunt. 

"Senaar, Senaar, Senaar--" The name he had given you punctuated every thrust, his rasping tone making your belly drop out. You weren't sure if you would ever stop coming, grasping blindly at Mando and Ezra while your cunt gripped down on Mando's cock.

…

If Ezra still had any doubts about being a blatant proxy for the armored man, that was obliterated in his post-orgasm daze. 

A gloved hand slid to the back of his neck and tugged him down to your mouth. Ezra went clumsily but willingly, the prospector humming when he tasted himself and the cloying sweetness of the Serpentia on your tongue. You sobbed against his lips and Ezra soothed you with his mouth, accepting all of your hungry whimpers and whines as he stroked your hair back off your forehead. 

"Little bird, little bird, you will want for nothing with this individual pummeling you so mercilessly." He breathed, relishing the soft cry that quivered against the skin of his neck. "I imagine you can feel every inch of that prodigious girth, burning like unquenchable quicksilver, threatening to breach your very womb." He moved his bound hands down, resting them on your stomach. "Steerforth, I trust you are punishin' their cervix with every thrust?" He queried, chuckling darkly when Mando just snarled in reply.

You threw your head back, hands fisted in the fabric between Mando's pauldrons and gorget. "Mando-!" You pleaded, "fuck!" 

Mando's hands dug beneath the small of your back and he canted your hips upwards, sheathing his cock in the cradle of your body over and over. Ezra envied the armored man's stamina, grunting when he felt his member trying to rise again. Whether he could blame the pollen for that, he was unsure, but the lovely company certainly did nothing to dissuade his arousal. Watching this large, almost knightly figure rail into you, your face still a mess of tears from when Ezra had fucked your mouth…

Kevva, he could not recall a time where he had been so content to simply play voyeur, pressing the occasional kiss to your lips at Mando's behest. "Such tenderness, what a dichotomous sensation for you," the prospector mused, "the contrast between armor and flesh." His mouth brushed against your ear when he continued, "However, I believe you're beginning to realize that there is an untapped wellspring of man beneath all that metal, am I correct little bird?"

...

You squeezed your eyes shut and Din's hand reached up, the bounty hunter unable to keep from cradling your cheek. "I always knew." You said, your voice barely audible. "I-I always...I always-"

"Be quiet." Din grunted. "Y-You...don't have to say it." His heart slamming in his chest had nothing to do with his current exertion. You knew. Shame reached him dimly through the haze of arousal. All the times he ached to touch you, all the times he battled with himself over his desire for contact…

Your hand gripped the back of his helmet and he flinched sharply. He hadn't noticed you move and you could pull his helmet off, shit, he was so stupid for doing this! His eyes flew to yours, even though he knew you couldn't see through his visor.

After a moment of him fighting back his panic, you just shook your head. "S-Sealed unit, ri-ght?" You asked, your words hitching with his thrusts. Djarin nodded warily. Your eyes half-lidded and you knocked your forehead into his helmet, the gesture unmistakable to a Mandalorian.

A kiss. 

Was his heart breaking, or just fucking giving out under the assault of this insane pollen? Was he overloaded? Was this all just some wild hallucination?

Din frantically shoved his helmet against your face, pinning your head back to the pillow. Shit, he needed to be careful, you didn't have armor. "Senaar, I--" Basic had always been so damn heavy on his tongue. Mando'a flowed, but it was secret. Sacred. Djarin hesitated and you reached up again, cradling the indents on his helmet.

"Always. Even with this." You whispered. 

His brain had short-circuited. The roaring in his ears was deafening and he knew he was making some kind of ugly, wounded noise, but he couldn't actually do anything about it. 

Always. Always. 

His heart must have blown, he reasoned desperately. That was the only explanation for what he was feeling right now.

…

The sound that Mando made after you assured him was heartwrenching, a guttural sob that seemed like a mixture of agony and ecstasy. He clawed at the blanket beneath you, gasping for breath as he all but broke you in half, his dick ripping yet another orgasm from your hungry cunt. 

You were lightheaded from his prolonged fucking, your pussy in spasm around his thick cock, but you refused to give out yet. "Did you feel me come, Mando?" You whimpered against the side of his helmet, wringing more feral noises out of him. "Is it good?"

"Fuck, incredible, s-so--" Mando gripped your thigh, hitching it up over his hip and then dragging his fingers hungrily through the pink slick that had pooled in the crease of your hip. "Never want to leave, fuck, m'sorry, I know I'm t-taking--forever-" 

"Only a fool apologizes for his length in the bedroom." Ezra remarked dryly, dipping down to kiss you when you laughed. "How do you fare, little bird?"

"So good." You sighed, feeling half-drunk on your orgasm high. The knot in your belly had finally gone slack, leaving you weak and trembling beneath Mando as he chased his own completion. You hummed and Ezra rumbled back, his touch remarkably careful when he cupped your chin. 

"You have done so well." Ezra murmured. "Serpentia is no simple storm to weather, yet you have endured." Mando wordlessly bumped his helmet against Ezra's temple, the metal rubbing over the blond tuft of hair the quarry sported. "You are most welcome, Steerforth." Ezra chuckled. "One is glad to be of service, but please. You threatened to fill them, didn't you?"

Mando's hips faltered in their rhythm and the armored man finally came with a shattered moan of relief. Stars, you weren't sure if you had the Serpentia to blame for the sheer volume that he came; you could feel it frothing out of you around his cock as he continued to shudder and writhe through his orgasm. 

"Holy shit, Mando." You said incredulously, unable to fight back the urge to slip a hand down between your bodies. "You told me Mandalorians were rare."

"We--are." Mando panted raggedly, his cock still twitching inside you.

"If you come like this, how?" You asked, your combined fluids soaking your questing fingers. Mando just stared at you for a moment, shoulders heaving while he struggled to catch his breath.

And then he started laughing, which was...not nearly as terrifying as you had expected, honestly. "Stars, you--" He wheezed, his helm thudding gently against your forehead. "Fuck you, Senaar." You could hear him grinning, his voice still warm with laughter. 

"Odd method of displaying affection. I take it your Creed is of a fraternitous bent?" Ezra commented, a quiet noise of surprise escaping him when you tugged him down for a kiss.

"Thank you." You mumbled drowsily into his mouth. 

"Hardly. I ought to thank you. When last I endured the Serpent's grasp, I was incarcerated and driven to gratify myself to ribbons on the inside of my gear." Ezra informed you, his tone nonchalant. "This experience was a rare moment of hedonistic bliss in my life. Believe me when I say I shall cherish it."

He straightened up before you could say anything in reply, extending his bound wrists to Mando.

"Whither to, my recalcitrant steerforth?"

Mando ignored him for another moment, stroking your forehead tenderly. He appeared to have noticed your weariness, because he sounded softer when he spoke. "Sleep, Senaar. It's over."

…

"I'll cut you loose on Sorgan." 

Ezra swiveled in the co-pilot chair, knowing that his expression must border on the befuddled. When the armored man had left you to sleep, hauled Ezra into the cockpit and secured his binders to the chair, the prospector had assumed that whatever agreement they struck previously was rendered null and void. "I would be...wholeheartedly grateful to you, Steerforth." He breathed.

"I never found you. Your pod malfunctioned and you burned alive in the atmosphere." Mando instructed him in that level, modulated voice. "Stop stealing shit and I won't have to hunt you down again."

"Those men stole from me!" Ezra retorted hotly, knocking his elbow down into the white case that hung off his hip. "I worked alone for stands and they came along right at the most opportune juncture, put a thrower to my head and robbed me! I simply reclaimed-"

Mando waved a hand, interrupting his self-righteous tirade. "You and I both know that it doesn't matter. I'm forfeiting the credits this time, but next time…" he trailed off pointedly. "Don't get caught again. If someone else from my Guild chapter picks up your bounty, Mandalorian or otherwise, they will catch you." 

Mando leaned in close, his elbows resting on his knees and helmet propped up on his folded hands. Ezra felt for all the world like a specimen underneath a microscope, barely suppressing the urge to squirm nervously. 

"The bounty specified that you be captured warm." The armored man said after a beat. "No promise of half-payment upon cold delivery or even proof of demise. So whoever you got into a pissing match with wants to be the one to put that last slug into your brain. You already heard my advice. For your own good, I suggest you lay low and be fucking quiet." He gestured out the cockpit viewport at the green sphere that hovered in the distance. "There's good people on that planet. Good people that I care about. If you bring hunters to their doorstep, I will find out. And then I will find you."

Kevva have mercy, this man was no joke. Ezra was having a difficult time just mustering up the breath to give him an affirmation! Was this truly the same Lancelot he had watched engage in lotus-eating debauchery with his Guinevere not two hours hence? Ezra's belly roiled uncertainly, arousal and fear a potent combination. This must be how the bounty hunter indulged himself without divesting his plate, the prospector reasoned dimly. Fear was a remarkably stimulating thing. "Of course." He finally answered, his voice a little reedy. "Your mercy is...unexpectedly generous, but no less appreciated for its spontaneity."

Mando grunted, seeming satisfied with his response. The armored man returned to the control panel after a moment, flipping a few switches. The entire ship appeared to be miles above what Ezra was used to. Even the Testin had a dog-eared manual that hung from a chain by the central dash, and the craft was such a rattling nightmare that she needed three bodies just to keep her straight. But this man, this...Mandalorian, he operated the whole blasted vessel with a fluid ease. 

His next words were so quiet Ezra nearly missed them. "Thank you."

"Pardon?" Ezra queried blankly.

Mando heaved a sigh that made his pauldrons visibly dip. "I said, thank you." He growled awkwardly. "I don't know what...I don't know if I would have hurt them because of--because of how I am." 

"It will do no good to ruminate on such dour subjects." Ezra hesitated, then continued, "but your Creed...would you have broken it for them, had you known about the requirements of the Medusine barrier?"

"I…" Mando tightened his hold on the directionals, those gloves creaking with his tension. "I'm not sure." He admitted, lapsing into silence afterwards.

"Your ship is marvelously responsive." Ezra murmured by way of changing the subject. "It reminds me of a diminutive Screamer-class that I endured a few stands on, oh, nearly fifteen cycles ago-"

"Be quiet."

…

Din watched Ezra until he vanished between the large trunks of Sorgan's conifers, the Mandalorian then dropping back into the pilot's seat with a groan. Maker, he hoped he was doing the right thing. Hoped he hadn't just unleashed some mass-murdering psychopath on the unsuspecting populace.

Djarin tilted his helmet back against the headrest of the seat, aimlessly staring up at the fuselage. 

What the hell was he going to say when you woke up? 

Din's heart sank. He knew that he couldn't believe anything that had come out of your mouth while you had been under the effects of that fruit. Serpent's Tongue. He chewed his lower lip meditatively. 

He could lie. 

He fucking cringed at the thought, then shook his head at himself. You would be embarrassed at best, but at worst…

Shit, he didn't want to lose you, even if you didn't feel the same way about him. And then there was the kid to worry about. No, a lie would be better. 

You had sought out other Mandos. His stomach lurched as he recalled that little fact. Fuck, fuck, was it hope that beat so insistently in his throat?

A sealed unit, he had said.

He just wouldn't bring it up. He was the one who had insisted that this whole maneuver was struck from the proverbial records in the first place, right? He just wouldn't mention it. Easy enough. If you said something, that was fine, but otherwise…

Din nodded firmly. This is the Way.

Part Two

[devinescribe]

Hatter Troubles

This is basically a chapter where your dad is Hatter himself, finding out about the relationship, or that they like you or something.

Arisu

You two thought it would be best if he didn't know. You loved your father, but the way he had been acting recently, about the games and the cards in total, made you two keep quiet.

You couldn't sleep. After your dad saying he was going to play in all the games coming forth starting tomorrow, your mind wouldn't stop playing through every worst case scenario. The thoughts running through your head made you stay up, staring up at the ceiling. 'Want Arisu...' you thought. He'd always made you feel better when you were sad or after a particularly hard game. So, you decided to go visit Arisu. Sure, it was the middle of the night, but who cares? Hopefully not him. And if you knew him, he was probably up. But there was a small chance he wasn't. You hoped he was up, so you wouldn't feel bad about waking him.

You got out of your bed quietly heading to your door. You opened it softly, looking out into the hall cautiously, hoping there was no militals walking around on their patrols. Especially Aguni. You could tell Niragi or Last Boss any lie, and they'd be easily tricked. Well, Niragi was a bit harder to trick, but he usually didn't care, and would mind his own business. You tread quietly to Arisu's room, knocking on the door once you got there.

You heard shuffling from behind the door, and saw the doorknob twist. The door opened, and there was a sleepy Arisu standing in front of you. He yawned, rubbing his eyes tiredly, giving you a tired smile when he saw it was you. "Hello?" He greeted, although it sounded more like a question than anything. "Hi... I'm sorry for waking you up... can I come in?" You asked, feeling bad you woke him up. "Yeah, come on in. And it's no problem. If you woke me up, it must be serious," he said, stepping aside for you to be able to come into his room. "No one saw you, right?" He asked, yawning as you stepped into the room. You shook your head, and he closed the door.

      He lead you over to his bed, sitting down. He asked you to do the same, but you rejected his offer, feeling a bit to anxious to sit down. "What's wrong?" He asked, sensing your nervousness. "It might be stupid, but when dad said about him joining all the games starting tomorrow... it's just made me uneasy. I can't sleep," you explained, pacing on the floor. He nodded, and grabbed your hands, bringing you into him. You fell onto his lap with a short shriek. "Risu! Stop, you can't do that!" You laughed, lightly pushing his shoulder. "Oh yes I can," he smiled back.

He smiled down at you on his lap, before sighing. "You know... when Chota hurt his leg, I was so worried. So... as a way to get over the fear and anxiety, I talked to them about it. I think... If you talk to your dad about how you feel, it could make you feel better," Arisu advised, rubbing your shoulders. He was just trying to make you feel better about the situation, sharing his personal experience, hoping it would help you. He gave you a kiss to your forehead. "Mmm... you're the best boyfriend ever," you muttered into his neck. "Well, it's my duty as the best boyfriend to take care of the bestest, most amazing girlfriend in the world," he laughed, as he begun to tickle you. You screamed, laughing and trying to get him to get away from his attack. "A-arisu!" You squealed, trying to get him to stop. The once quiet hotel room was filled with laughter, and screams.

You two had started chasing eachother around the room, you trying to escape his attack, and him trying to tickle you. You had fallen on the bed, tripping over something on the floor. In an attempt to save yourself, you had grabbed Arisu's shirt. So that's how you ended up in the position you were in now. You were under Arisu, your arms above your head, and to stop from crushing you,  he held himself up on his forearms, caging you in. "Woah, I was not expecting to walk into that," a voice said from the entrance of the room. You froze, turning your head slowly to the door. "H-hi dad," you stuttered as Arisu got off you. Arisu stayed quiet,  and looked down, waving awkwardly. "I- I promise we weren't doing anything. I tripped and he fell a-and we got like... that..." you explained, a blush on your face. "Ok... I mean, it's none of my business what you two do," Hatter stated after clearing his throat awkwardly. You let out a quiet sigh of relief. "I don't mind you being with him, just be careful," Hatter said. "Thank you," you said, walking over and hugging your dad. "Now, get to your room. It's late, and I might let you be with him, but sleeping in the same room is a no for now," your dad said, giving you a soft smile. "Ok... Bye Arisu! Thank you for your advice. Goodnight dad," you said as you walked out the door.

"If I break her heart I'll throw myself off the roof, don't worry."

"I... was not expecting that, but ok. Deal."

"But on that note, I would never hurt her. I promise I'll always protect her."

"You keep that promise for me, ok kid?"

Niragi

(Reader has a noise sensitivity for sudden loud noises for this specific one)

Hatter had honestly never paid attention to you two. He assumed you would never be into a guy like Niragi, so what did he do? Ignored it.

It had been just another boring meeting, talking about the games, theories, how many had died. All normal things at the meeting. Except when a topic that had everyone going back and forth came up. Niragi, seemingly having enough of everyone being so indecisive on something he viewed so easy, stood from his chair, slamming his hands onto the table. You jumped in your seat, closing your eyes tightly. You grabbed onto the edge of the table tightly, your knuckles turning white. He noticed, but kept on with his business.

At the end of said meeting, he found you out in the hall. 'I've got nothing to lose by talking to her. Well.. except maybe my head, but besides the point. Let's see where this goes.' He thought, hoisting his riffle onto his shoulder as he walked over to you. You noticed him, and smiled to yourself. "Hello Niragi - San," you greeted, turning to face him. His brain froze, but he shook his head, ridding from the rather nasty thoughts he was having. "Hey there," he said. Your eyes looked him over, focusing on the gun. "You got safety on that thing?" You asked, nodding over to his gun. He shook his head. "Why would I? No rules," he reminded. "I prefer archery to guns, but anyways, was there something you needed Niragi?" You asked, holding your hands behind your back. "Uh, yeah. Why did you jump in the meeting? Don't lie saying you didn't, because I saw," he asked, looking at you. His eyes seemed to study every detail of your body. "Oh.. you saw that? I'm sensitive to sudden loud noises," you explained. He made an 'oh' sound, nodding awkwardly. "Well... good luck at the games tonight!" You chirped, patting the top of his head. He stared in shock, watching you walk away. "Did she just?" He muttered to himself, "I think she did."

"Hatter, I can take care of her," he responded to the man in front of him. "I don't trust you with my daughter. She's special to me, I don't trust you won't kill her, so no," Hatter said, a smile on his face, though the subject was making him rather annoyed. "Listen, I wouldn't hurt her. Besides Aguni, I'm one if not the most powerful of the militals," Niragi stated. "Then I'll just send her with Aguni, I'm glad we had this talk!" Hatter deflected, wanting Niragi to give up. But, he underestimated how stubborn Niragi was. "Then you'll have no one to go with you in your games. I can and will protect her. Send her with me tonight. Her visa expired soon," Niragi almost begged, but he didn't. He had some self respect as to not beg, especially over a girl. Maybe back in the old world he would, but now? No way. Hatter thought for a moment, taking into account how out of character it was for Niragi to act this way. "Fine. But if she comes back with so much as a scratch, you will feel what it's like to be at the receiving end of your gun," Hatter threatened. Niragi left the room after, and shuddered. He was not really scared of anything, but an angry overprotective father had now been added to the list.

There were many situations where your noise sensitivity was bad. Case 1 being the horns that sounded before the games. Case 2 being guns. And case 3 being yelling. So that's why you stood shutting your eyes tightly, holding your hands over your ears. "N-niragi, stop too loud..." you whispered besides him, hoping he heard you. He heard you, and stopped, looking to you. You were shaking your leg, eyes screwed shut, and hands over your ears. "I'll deal with you later," Niragi spat at the guy in front of you two as he led you off to a desolate corner. "You ok?" He asked. "I didn't think you cared, but yes, I'm ok," you responded, still twiddling your fingers. "I don't care. But your dad does," he said. Obviously he cared. "Oh... um... thank you for that. He was getting a bit... touchy," you thanked. Truth was, Niragi has been watching the guy ever since he went up to talk to you. Niragi was a great liar, as much as people thought he was a moron with a gun. Once he saw the guy touching you, and your face of obvious discomfort, he decided to step in.

"Learn how to defend yourself against people like that," he stated, going to leave. "People like you, you mean?" You said, stopping him in his tracks. The way you had said it without fear or hesitation made him turn back to you. "People like me?" He questioned. He tried to hide his smirk. It was interesting to say the least. You were just acting like a scared little mouse. What happened to her? "People like you. People who think hiding their weaknesses makes them less weak. People who bully the weak, because they've been the weak. People who hate the weak, only because it reminds them of what they were. So when I say people like you, I mean people who have finally snapped. They're tired of getting pushed around, so they use their newfound power to push others around,'' you stated. You kept eye contact with him the whole time, watching for a reaction. He had none. 'How boring...' you thought before you sighed, walking away. Suddenly, he grabbed your wrist, pushing you into the wall. He trapped you, having his arms on either side of your head. "You don't know anything about 'people like me' but I know a lot about you. Especially your weakness," he whispered. You stared back, unsurprised by his actions. "People like you are so predictable," you both said at the same time. "Predict what I'll do next then," you said. "You'll hit me, try to run away, and I'll chase you," he guessed. "Wrong," you whispered, grabbing the collar of his shirt, pulling him to you. "So wrong, it's funny," you whispered, your lips centimeters away from his. He ran his tongue over his teeth. "You piss me off. Switching in between the shy, sweet one to the independent, badass, tease," he said. You giggled, letting him go. You started walking off, leaving with the words, "See you tonight at the game!" He stared off at where you had been not even a minute ago, thinking about what had just happened.

"Dad, I promise I'm ok! Niragi protected me," you giggled as your dad checked for the hundredth time that you were ok. Niragi stood behind, waiting for this to be over. Hatter sighed. "I guess you protect her just fine," he said, walking off. Niragi rolled his eyes, starting to leave the room again. "Thank you, Niragi. I wouldn't be here right now if you hadn't helped me back there... I made a stupid mistake. Um... I'm sorry about what I said earlier, I wasn't trying to be rude... or a tease," you said, grabbing his arm. He chuckled, turning to face you. You let his arm go, seeing as he was paying attention to you. "No problem. I'm the one who asked to go with you, so it would be stupid of me to let you die. And apology half accepted. I'll be off now," he said, going to leave once more. "Hey, um... do you want to walk around?" You asked. "Can't. I'm going for target practice outside the Beach," he said, nodding his head to the riffle over his shoulder. "Then I'll go with you," you stated. "Loud noises. You don't like them, remember?" Niragi said, trying to get you to stay. What had happened earlier today was still definitely fresh in his mind. "... I can deal with it... please? I just want to talk? Please?" You pleaded, looking at him with the puppy eyes. 'Goddammit... say no, say no, resist against the cute girl.' "Fine. But only this once. Let's go walk around," he said, giving in. 'You fucking idiot...'

By just this once, he meant it happened all the time. You two had gotten closer, and Hatter had definitely noticed.

Niragi watched the party going on in the pool area from the balcony of one of the rooms. You had explained your noise sensitivity to him in a bit more details. Like, listening to loud music was ok, because it wasn't sudden. Which is why you were who he was watching currently. He saw you waving at him with a smile. He waved back, smiling to himself. He could see you laugh, before one of the girls pushed you into the pool. He winced. "She's not going to be happy about that..." he muttered to himself before laughing a bit. "She likes you, you know," a voice said behind him. He quickly cocked his gun, aiming it, before seeing it was Hatter. He let out a sigh of relief, putting the gun down. "Just me. No need for alarm," Hatter laughed. "Like I was saying, she likes you. Won't shut up about you in fact," Hatter repeated. "Sure she does," Niragi stated sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Believe what you want. But, in any case, she does. And before I wouldn't have let you near her, but after seeing how you've stopped some of your usual habits, and how you protect her, I'll allow it. It's only fair," Hatter said, before leaving.

"I didn't change shit. Crazy old man," he whispered to himself. 'Well, we did stop banging on doors if she's near. And started killing the traitors when and where she won't hear. We tried to stop making loud noises at meetings if she's there. And we still go on walks when she asks us to, even though we said only once.' His mind told him. He scowled at his thoughts, realizing they were right. He walked back over to where he was, scanning the party for you. "Damnit... where'd she go?" He muttered to himself, not being able to see you. "Where'd who go, Gigi?" A voice said besides him. He turned to the side quickly aiming his gun again. "Jesus fuck, (Y/N)!" He shouted, seeing was you. You squeaked at his sudden shouting, hiding behind your hands. They shook slightly, and he cursed himself for yelling at you. "You can't sneak up on me like that, you could get hurt you damn idiot," he sighed, putting his gun down. " 'M sorry..." you apologized. "It's... it's fine, just be careful," he said, patting your head awkwardly. Your hair was wet, and you were dripping water onto the cement floor of the balcony. A few minutes went by, and neither of you had spoken. You stood in comfortable silence looking down at the party going on. Niragi had been trapped in his thoughts. They went between wanting to scold you for the nickname you had used, and telling you how he felt. After a few minutes, you spoke up.

"Can I do something a bit crazy?"

"Uh... Crazy is good most times, so... go ahead."

"Good."

Those words were all that was said before you pulled him into a kiss.

"I like you. A lot, actually."

"..."

"Are you ok?"

"Mhm. Totally fine. I like you too.''

"Does this mean I can call you Gigi now?"

"No way in hell princess." (No way in hell senpai-)

Chishiya

It was almost an instant connection with Chishiya and yourself. You two had a relationship in which everyone could see you guys liked eachother, but no one had confessed. You two acted like a couple too, so many people were confused. He didn't say anything, not because he was scared... ok, well maybe a little bit, but because he didn't want to have a weakness. You also had the impression he only liked you as a friend, so no matter if you liked him or not, you assumed he wouldn't like you.

"Chishiya, gave you seen (Y/N)?" Niragi asked. "No. Why are you looking for her?" He responded.  "None of your business," Niragi scoffed, walking off. "I suddenly have the urge to find (Y/N) to piss him off," he stated to himself, shoving his hands in his pockets, and walking off to go find you.

He eventually found you in the meeting room. "Hi Chishiya," you greeted, your back still turned to him. "How'd you know?" He asked, walking besides you. "You walk quietly, and your walking pattern is distinct. And you don't smell like alcohol, chlorine, or booze," you stated. "Noted... Anyways, Niragi is looking for you," he stated. You groaned, hanging your head. "Is he? Alright... guess I'll see you later? There's a meeting tonight, so... see ya then," you said before leaving. He watched as you walked out, your footsteps getting softer the further you got. "Something's up with her, but what I can't figure out,"he muttered to himself.

When he returned to the meeting room, there was a couple of people. Hatter wasn't going to be at tonight's meeting due to some other business, so the number two was in charge of this meeting. Among those people were you and Niragi. You laughed at whatever Niragi had said, making Chishiya huff. He sat down in his usual spot, glaring at Niragi who was still talking to you. Why did he feel the need to talk to you so much? Hadn't he been out the whole afternoon with you?

You finally sat down besides Chishiya smiling at him. "Hello again," you greeted. "So what did the psychopath want with you?" He asked, a tone of anger in his voice. "Target practice. Dad wants me to be prepared, and since Niragi is one of the best shots here, he's been teaching me. Not alone of course, Aguni is there. Obviously," you explained.

A few minutes into the meeting, you yawned, looking out sleepily. "Stay up late again?" Chishiya whispered, keeping his eyes out on the table. "No... they just have me on night patrols... I'm so tired," you whispered back. He nodded, going back to paying attention to the meeting.

Not even a minute later, he felt a weight fall onto his shoulder. He looked out of the corner of his eyes to see you asleep on him. He smiled to himself slightly, before looking back to the meeting, acting as if nothing had happened.

After the meeting was over, Aguni asked if someone could take you back up to your room. Many of the men there offered to do it, but Chishiya stepped in. "I'll take her. She fell asleep on my shoulder, and honestly the 'princess of the Beach' shouldn't get touched by the dirty hands of these men," Chishiya states, using sarcasm and his usual tone of knowing better. Aguni held back a laugh at his words, but nodded. "You sure you can carry her?" Niragi asked. Chishiya knew this wasn't Niragi wanting to take you back to your room, it was Niragi poking fun at him. "I've carried heavier medical equipment. Please shut the fuck up and let me through," Chishiya said, hoisting you up. Niragi scoffed, walking away.

Chishiya carefully placed you in your bed, covering you up with blankets. " 'Shiya... Stay," you muttered, grabbing his hand. He froze up for a minute, looking down at your sleepy eyes. With your other hand, you held your body up. "Only... only for a little bit. Until you fall asleep," he muttered, getting into bed behind you. You turned, hugging him tightly. "Thank you 'Shiya... you're the best," you yawned, quickly falling asleep. He ran his hand over your hair, not wanting to get it caught and wake you up.

"You need to take better care of yourself... honestly, it's one thing if I don't, but you? You need to live through these games," he whispered, knowing full well you wouldn't wake up. "You're so sweet.... I really wonder why you stay around me... You're asleep, so it doesn't matter what I say, but I hope you know I... I quite like you. A lot actually. So... yeah," he whispered his confession, softly getting away from you. "Dream a little dream of me," he sang as he left the room. A song he'd heard once. But it was fitting. He hoped you dreamed of him.

When he went to leave, he heard someone call out for him. He turned to see Hatter, Aka, your father, Aka, the person who could kill him for what just happened in your room.

"So, she asleep?" Hatter questioned. "Yep. No funny business, I promise. I just stayed with her till she fell asleep like she asked of me," Chishiya stated, placing his hands up in mock surrender. "Oh, I have no doubt. She trusts you, so I don't have a reason to kill you. Yet," Hatter said, a bit too cheerfully for Chishiya's tastes. "Trust me?" He asked. "Yeah. Likes you too," Hatter mentioned. Chishiya felt a weird feeling in his stomach. Like... is that what they called butterflies?

"Likes me? Really. Interesting," Chishiya commented. "Won't shut up about you, actually. Chishiya this, Chishiya that. It's annoying sometimes, but...  it's nice to see her happy," Hatter said, smiling too himself. Happy? You felt happy around him?

"She hasn't been this excited or happy about anything since... since she was very young. I don't really mind you, just... don't hurt her," Hatter stated, walking away. Chishiya was still trying to reel in the fact that you liked him. You talked about him. To your father. "I'll... I'll confess when she's awake next time."

Last Boss

"Taka! What're we doing today?" You asked when you reached the target field. He jumped, startled by your voice. "Oh... hello (Y/N)... and we'll be doing basic blocking and striking today again," he mentioned. You smiled, and nodded. You gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and watched his face slowly turn pink. "You're so cute," you teased. He looked away, stretching his hand out to you. You grabbed it happily, pulling him along.

There was only two people allowed to touch his katanas. You and him. That's it. You because you were his lovely amazing girlfriend, and Jim because... they're his. Obviously.

His body was behind your own to position you as he was teaching you, making sure you were correct before moving on.

"OK and then I can do thi-" you didn't get to finish your sentence because as you went to strike, you fell. Instead of letting Last Boss witness the utter act of embarrassement, you brought him down with you.

You landed on top of him, still holding onto his shirt. "Well... we've been in this position before haven't we?" You questioned with a sweet smile on your face. He blushed, knowing what you were referring to. He sat up, you still in his lap. "Come on, there's no need to be shy about it Samu," you giggled, kissing his forehead. "Well no... but yes?" He responded. You shook your head, kissing his lips. He pulled away almost immediately, making you pout. "We could get caught," he said, his hands resting on your waist.

"And?"

"You're dad would quite literally kill me. And if not him, Aguni. You're aware of how scary that man is, right? And how protective both of them are of you?" He stated. You frowned, knowing that Last Boss did not enjoy PDA. Especially since no one knew about you two.

He sighed, caressing your face with one of his hands. "I... fine. But we have to be careful."

A few innocent kisses and touches turned into a full make out session that left you both gasping for air, and wanting more.

"(Y/-"

"So uh... is this what you meant by Last Boss helping you?"

You had never jumped away from anything faster than you did when you heard your father's voice.

"H-hey dad," you stammered, looking around, not wanting to meet his gaze. "Hi, so just wanted to let you know we have a meeting in a bit, and to be ready. That's it," he said nonchalantly. A but to nonchalant for your tastes.

Your DAD had just walked in on you two making out, and that was his only response? No fucking way.

"I-im sorry about... about that," you apologized, looking down in shame. "Don't apologize for that. Who cares. As long as you're safe and happy, I could care less who you're with. Plus, he's decent. And pretty smart, so I'm ok with it," Hatter explained, patting your head. You smiled up at him. "Thanks dad," you said. "No matter what, you'll always be my little princess, so... go have fun. I'll let you two be," Hatter stated. "Oh, before I leave, Last Boss?"

"Yeah?"

"Hurt her, and I'll hurt you back, got it?"

"Yessir."

I love the idea of Hatter being a supportive dad who's just like "as long as they love you and you love them, who gives a fuck?"

And honestly. I just needed some fluff today.

[all-my-love-for-harry]

I should’ve kissed you.

Summary: Perhaps is never too late to chase after the love of your life.

Word count: 5.8k

a/n: i don't have anything against camille, i don't know her and couldn't care less about her but she was the last person harry dated so to make it accurate i used her for the timeline.

you can find the rest of my masterlist here.

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: 

Friends that could've been more if only destiny wasn't against them. More often than not, we find ourselves thinking about the 'what if's in life, trapped in a living fantasy of what our lives could be if only we'd play of cards right.

For some, the universe isn't entirely against them. Like it's the case of Harry, someone who was able to achieve things he'd never thought he would. Someone who, at plain sight, had everything a person could've ever asked for.

Money, fame, status. You name it, he has it. What nobody told him, was how lonely it could get once you've reached the top. You have millions of hearts beating just for you, but the only want you really desire.

Y/N and Harry met when they were six years old. Harry pushed her by accident in the playground, what resulted in her falling facedown to the floor. The then little boy felt so bad when he saw her knee bleeding even though she had told him it was fine. Ever since that day, Harry never left Y/N's side, following her like a shadow.

Harry wasn't by any means a shy child, however he didn't have a lot of friends besides Y/N, claiming he didn't need anyone else as long as he had her.

From playing in the playground every day, to playdates in each other's houses, to dates in the park. They spent their childhoods together at all moments.

When their children's phases were over and they no longer played hide and seek in Anne's living room or spent hours in Y/N's mum's backyard running around, the two of them stayed closer than ever.

Anne and Y/M/N didn't want to be the type of mums who tried to pair their children up just because they spent time together, but it was hard not to when you saw the way Harry looked at Y/N, like she hung the moon and the stars. They'd say the pair of friends would end up together sooner or later, but as years went by, Harry and Y/N remained as what they already were, best friends.

Their feelings for each other remained unknown, always thinking their bond was purely platonic to the other and their feelings were one sided.

When Harry turned sixteen, his mum made him audition for the x factor. Y/N went every single day before the audition to assure Harry how talented he was, making him sing her songs all the time. And he'd gladly do so, always loving the way her eyes lit up every time he sang to her.

The day of his audition, she was there holding Gemma's hand while wearing those matching t-shirts to support Harry. She was the first one he wrapped around his arms once we returned backstage, squeezing her oh-so-tight until she told him she couldn't breathe.

Y/N was there every step of the way, never missing anything and always being there when Harry needed her, as a friend.

When Y/N had her first broken heart, Harry was there to pick up the pieces. When she got accepted in her dream school he was the first one she called.

They had this unspoken rule about approving each other's partners, always making sure the other one liked them before becoming serious with that person.

For most of the time, it worked. Sometimes Harry would be a little stubborn and wouldn't listen to Y/N at first, and the majority of the time he'd come back to her with a broken heart for her to fix.

Y/N was more someone of serious relationships, not entirely comfortable with doing the whole sleep around deal. When she was twenty she met a guy a couple of years older than her, started dating him soon after they met and after three years they were still together.

For Harry, things were a little different. He dated occasionally but never anything serious since he was always busy when he was in the bad, but when the band went on hiatus he started looking for someone he could go home to.

That's when he met Camille. Harry had a tendency to catch feelings way too easily and when he fell for someone, he fell hard. This wasn't always convenient, but at the end that's who he was. The first time Harry told Y/N about her was during a phone call. He sounded so excited, going on and on about how great she was, and Y/N wasn't one to question Harry's judgment (most of the time), so she believed him.

Y/N was in Los Angeles when she met Camille for the first time. The three of them went out for dinner, Harry's request. Y/N wasn't expecting much of her, honestly. She didn't put high expectations on what Camille would be like, and after they met at dinner, she was glad she didn't.

Camille wasn't entire horrible. To Y/N, she'd come off as a little bit... rude. And superficial. Her sense of humor wasn't exactly Y/N's cup of tea, and she could see it wasn't Harry's either as he'd try his best to force a laugh every time Camille'd say something that was supposed to be funny but would come out as rude or inappropriate.

Y/N met her again a couple times but her opinion didn't change much. Being completely honest, Y/N thought they wouldn't last. Harry was on tour and Camille had her own life and based on what her best friend would tell her, they didn't get to see each other as much. But Harry was pretty convinced their relationship could work.

That same year but a couple of months later, Y/N went through a rough patch in her life. Her boyfriend of almost four years dumped her for someone his age, saying she wasn't what he wanted anymore.

That was the first time Harry wasn't there to heal her broken heart.

She tried to call him, she really did. One time she called him during a concert and the other time Camille answered the phone to say Harry was sleeping.

So Y/N had no choice but to suck it up.

Harry had a short break from tour and decided to go home for a bit, having missed his family a lot. When he arrived, he wasn't surprised Anne had family and friends over to welcome him.

Looking around the room, Harry looked for the one person in specific. "She's outside." Anne said, knowing exactly who he was looking for. Harry flashed her a smile and walked through the back door that went to the backyard. He found her sitting on one of the swings they used to play with, looking at the ground.

"Hey, stranger." Harry said, taking a seat on the other swing next to hers. Y/N looked up, offering him a half smile. "How have you been?"

"Been better." She simply said.

"Why didn't you call me?" He furrowed. Harry didn't much about her breakup since he never answered her calls, instead he found out through Gemma.

"I tried, you never answered." She wasn't looking at him and he hated how depressed she seemed but hated even more not knowing the full story behind her broken heart.

"You called one time, Y/N." He insisted.

"No. I called multiple times. Camille answered the phone once and said she'd tell you to call me back, but apparently she didn't tell you"

Harry was confused. He remembers checking his history call and Y/N's number being there only once. "Are you sure? Because she'd have told me if you called"

"Are you sure about that?" She questioned, finally looking up.

"What does that supposed to mean?"

"Forget it." She said, trying to get up from the swing but Harry took her forearm, stopping her.

"No, I’d like to talk about this now. You never told me you opinion about Camille, Y/N."

"Is because i don't have one." She sat back, shrugging off her forearm from his embrace.

"You don't like her." He stated, looking hurt.

Y/N sighed. She was too emotionally unstable right now to deal with this, so instead of lying, she told the truth. "No, I don't."

"Why?"

"Do we have to do this?" Harry looked at her, sternly. "She's rude, Harry. And inappropriate. I don't feel comfortable being around her, that's why I’ve cancelled every time you want the three of us to go out." Y/N looked at him in the eye.

Harry didn't know what to say. When it came to Y/N, he'd have expected a simple 'i like her as long as you do' as that had been the answer she'd always give him.

But this, this was different. She truly did not like Camille and was voicing her opinion to him, not even trying to pretend to like her for his sake. He didn't know how to react, completely unaware of the damage is next words would bring.

"Perhaps if you took the time to get to know her, you wouldn't be so judgmental." He furrowed, feeling attacked. "Seriously, Y/N, you're the only one who come across as rude by canceling every time i say she'd come too."

"You asked for my opinion, Harry. I gave it to you so can we please be done with this?" She felt a massive headache coming and the last thing she wanted was start a fight deep down she knew she'd lose.

"How can i be done with it now that i found out you hate my girlfriend?" He sighed, angrily. "You know what i think? I think you're acting like a proper bitch just because Seth dumped you and you can't stand seeing anyone else around you happy!" he shouted. "Why can't you feel happy for me? Not everyone is a complete asshole like Seth turned out to be, so I’d appreciate if you stopped badmouthing my girlfriend."

Y/N froze in her place. The words that came out of Harry's mouth had the solid purpose to get under her skin. But instead of making her angry like he'd have expected, he saw the exact moment her eyes filled with tears, her upper lip started trembling and that's when he knew he went too far.

She nodded, processing his words before standing up from the swing. She walked hurriedly inside of the house and despite hearing people call after her, Y/N went straight to the front door and slammed it behind her as she went out. Never once looking back.

Even Harry heard the noise she made when she left, so he stood up from his seat and almost ran inside. When he didn't see her, he panicked. Harry never thought she would actually leave the house before they could talk through the issue, she was never one to run out of her problems, but then again she was hurting and wasn't in a good place emotionally after Seth broke her.

Not that Harry would know any of that. And now he understood that. He was so quick to go for her throat that he never noticed how sad she actually was. He was too focused on talk about himself and his relationship that he never asked her how she really was.

"Mum, i fucked up." Harry came to Anne, tears staring to form in his eyes. "Y/N left." He added.

"What did you do, Harry?" She did see her storm out of the house and immediately knew the two best friends had a fight. Although she wasn't sure she wanted to know what made Y/N so upset. "Wait, don't tell me. Whatever it is i'm sure you'll fix it."

"I need to talk to her tomorrow." Harry started tugging on his hair.

"Why tomorrow?"

"I don't think right now she would appreciate my presence, mum. I'll let her cool down and I’ll go find her tomorrow"

Except Y/N did want Harry's presence in that moment. She felt like she was about to drown in her own sorrows and although what Harry said also hurt her, there was nothing else she wanted more than one of his healing hugs. She sat down in her car for twenty minutes, thinking Harry would go after her, but he never did.

Driving all the way from Holmes Chapel to London in the middle of the night didn't sound like the smartest plan ever, but Y/N needed to clear her mind and in all honesty, she just wanted to go home. She knew she would need to call her mother and give her an explanation for her sudden absence but she'll deal with that in the morning.

Right now she wanted to take a bath and get drunk on a bottle of wine. And that's exactly what she did as soon as she crossed the door to her home. She dragged herself upstairs and towards her bathroom, not without making a quick trip to the kitchen to find the alcoholic drink before she did so.

It was only after she was settled in the tub, loads of bubbles surrounding her when she allowed herself to fully cry.

Of course she wanted Harry happy, she'd give up on her own happiness in a heartbeat if that meant he'd be happy. Y/N couldn't help but feel protective over him, his heart has been broken too many times and to be honest she was growing tired of just being there to pick up the mess.

She has given up so much for him, and although she didn't always receive the same from him, she understood and still loved him unconditionally.

But perhaps picking him over herself wasn't something she was willing to do anymore. She had her own broken heart to deal with and wasn't sure if she could heal Harry's once his relationship was over.

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: 

First thing Harry did when he woke up, was try to call Y/N. One, two, three, four times and none of those she'd pick up.

He walked the short distance between his mother's house and Y/N's mum's house, hoping to find her there. Much to his surprise, her mom opened the door, giving him a sympathetic smile.

"Hello, Harry."

"Is she awake yet? I need to talk to her." Harry said with a shaky voice.

"Y/N's not here, love. She left last night."

Harry furrowed. "In the middle of the night? Has she called you?"

"I wasn't thrilled either but she has, honey. And she told me she made it safely."

Harry nodded. In his head, he was already packing his bags to drive back to London, the only thing on his mind being Y/N. He thanked Y/M/N and rushed back to Anne's house. When he entered, there was someone else waiting for him. Harry was confused as to why his girlfriend was standing in the middle of Anne's living room with a suitcase next to her.

"Camille?" He asked, approaching the woman.

"Hi, baby." She went for a kiss but Harry was too confused to return it. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, don't be rude. I came to surprise you. Now, get my suitcase upstairs, please"

He wanted to tell her he had to leave, fix things with his best friend, but somehow words didn't come out when he opened his mouth. Maybe it was because Camille would start to ask questions, and it wouldn't be the first time she'd accuse Harry to pick Y/N over her, so he kept quiet.

Anne was throwing him looks, silently asking why he hasn't talk to Y/N like he promised he would. Now, don't get her wrong, she was her son's biggest supporter and although she shared with Y/N almost the same opinion about Camille, Anne chose to not say anything and try to make an effort to like the girl.

Harry stayed the whole week in his hometown with his girlfriend, pushing the thought of Y/N at the very back of his head. He tried sending her messages but she never answered them, he tried calling but it always went straight to voicemail. If Harry wouldn't stop by her childhood home to ask her mother about her during his morning runs, he wouldn't have any idea of how she was.

By the end of the week, Harry was finally packing his bags, ready to go. What he wasn't counting on was Camille telling him they'd go back to Los Angeles.

"It's one dinner, Camille." He told her.

"But i really want to go. I've already told everyone we'd be there." She insisted. Harry didn't want to fly all the way to LA just for one stupid dinner with a bunch of people he didn't like. "Do you have anything more important to do or what?"

"I..." He paused. "I have to talk to Y/N."

"Then call her like you always do." She rolled her eyes, growing annoyed.

"It's kind of an important conversation, actually. I can't do that over the phone."

"Who's your girlfriend, uh? Because you're always ready to drop anything to go after her like a lost puppy!"

"That is not true. She's my best friend, Camille. I've known her since we were six."

"Well, i don't like her." She crossed her arms, staring at Harry. He shifted uncomfortably on his place, not knowing what to say. "Do you love her?"

"Of course i do." He said immediately. Camille raised her eyebrows, making him quickly add. "But not in the way you're thinking. We're just... close. Always been."

"Perhaps a little too close."

"What do you supposing?" Harry furrowed his eyebrows.

"If you want this to work then you need to spend less time with her, Harry. I won't compete with her, do you understand?" She stated.

Harry didn't know what to say. She was giving him an ultimatum he wasn't sure he could do. Stay away from Y/N was never something that crossed out of his mind, ever. He didn't want to stop seeing his best friend but he didn't want to break up with Camille either.

Sighing while putting his suitcase down, Harry nodded. Camille smiled, pleased with his decision. "I do this for us, babe. This weird codependency you two have needs to stop. We're only going to grow closer, you'll see."

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: 

It was like that, how a few days turned into a few weeks that then turned into months of no communication between Harry and Y/N.

Gemma had heard the entire argument that day, and she still was surprised and shocked with her brother's choice. She had called Y/N to tell her, hoping she would make Harry understand how wrong he was, but all she received was silence from the other end of the line, followed by a quiet 'thank you for telling me' before Y/N hung up.

To her, Camille made him choose. And he chose his girlfriend over her. She wanted to be mad, she wanted to cry and throw things, but she couldn't. Instead she respected Harry's decision, like she always does. She wasn't sure how she'd erase over fifteen years of friendship, but she'd try her best if that meant Harry would be happy, even if that didn't include her in his life anymore.

To Harry, things only went worse. Every day he woke up feeling emptier and emptier. He was angry all the time, never wanted to go out or do anything besides giving his concerts then going straight to his bedroom to go back being miserable. He couldn't recognize himself in the mirror, him and everyone else around him.

Every time Camille wanted to visit him, he'd throw a random excuse and say things were too busy. Of course she knew something was up and she knew exactly the reason why he was acting like he was. As he looked sadder and sadder in his concerts, fans started to wonder what had happened to him. Some assumed they broke up, and deep down Harry wanted those rumors to be true. But if Camille disappeared from his life, then he'd be completely alone. He no longer had the one person that has always been there aside from his mum and sister. He no longer had that one person that was the exactly reflection of who he was. He no longer had Y/N, and he wasn't ready to admit out loud he was the only one to blame for that.

During those darks, lonely months he realized something. Every relationship he's ever had in the past, never worked because Y/N was always in his mind. Y/N wouldn't say this, Y/N wouldn't do this, Y/N wouldn't be like this. His past partners never made the cut because he'd always compare them to the best person in his life. He didn't see it back then, but now he did.

He was in love. Truly, madly, deeply and foolishly in love with his best friend.

A couple of shows before tour ended, Camille decided to surprise Harry and fly all the way from LA to whatever city he was in. When he opened the door of his hotel bedroom, he was confused to see her standing there. "Surprise!" She exclaimed, throwing herself at him.

"Camille, what are you doing?"

"Uh, surprising you?" She said in an obvious tone. "Jesus Christ, at least pretend you're happy to see me."

"I'm sorry. How was your flight?"

Harry welcomed her into his room, wheeling her suitcase by the end of the bed. His room was kind of a mess because yesterday he drank too much and became a complete train wreck. Camille looked around, scanning the mess they were standing in but didn't say anything.

He had a concert to do that night, and they had to be at the arena so Harry could get ready. There wasn't much Camille could do besides sitting in his dressing room and wait for him. During all the night, he seemed slightly off, distracted thinking about Camille. Seeing her kind of triggered all the memories from Y/N and that night at his mother's house that he was yet to apologize for.

In his mind, he blamed her for everything. However deep down he knew he was responsible for that. There were so many other way he could've handled the situation, but back then he didn't think straight, he thought what he had with Camille was worth losing Y/N. Bad thing he learned too late nothing was worth losing her.

"I want to go out tonight." She had told him after his concert ended. "We can go to a club or something."

"I'm not really in the mood for clubbing."

"Then let's go have dinner."

"Not hungry either." He said as he opened the door of the hotel room.

"Then what do you want?"

"I'd like to take a shower and sleep." Harry started unbuttoning his shirt, dropping it off on the floor when he was done.

"Don't be boring. I didn't come here to sit around and do nothing fun."

"I didn't ask you to come." He blurted in a harsh tone. "I'm not in the mood, Camille."

"Is this because you're not friends with Y/N anymore?" She asked, crossing her arms across her chest. "I thought you'd get over it, Harry."

"Well, I won't!"

"I can't believe after all this time, i'm still competing with her for your fucking attention!"

"What else do you want from me, Camille?!I turned my back on her for you! What else do you want me to do?!"

"I want you to understand your life does not revolve around her! I'm your bloody girlfriend, dammit!" She shouted angrily. "Your obsession over her is not healthy. I did everything i could to make you see that. She doesn't understand it either. God, i even went as far as deleting your history call because i knew... i knew at the first opportunity you'd jump on a plane to her fucking rescue."

"You did... what?" He barked angrily. Suddenly it all made sense. Y/N was mad at him because she thought Harry was ignoring her when in reality Harry never saw her missing calls. Camille's eyes widened, she knew she said too much. "Why the hell would you do something like that?! You didn't have any right to go through my phone like that."

"I did it for-"

"Cut the crap! You didn't do it for me. I can't believe you're this psychotic kind of person. Do you have any idea how much your stupid actions coasted me?!" She stayed silent. "Answer me!" Harry shouted, completely furious.

Several knocks were heard by the other side of the door, followed by Jeff's voice telling Harry to let him in. "What is happening in here? I can hear your screams from my room." He said once the curly haired man let him in.

"Please book a room for Camille and a flight for tomorrow morning for her."

"Harry..." Camille tried to touch his arm.

"No. I'm done with this, with you, with everything.

Harry stormed out of the room, in desperate need of fresh air. He had way too many things on his plate right now, but somehow he felt more relieved now that he wasn’t with Camille anymore. It took him too long to realize he didn’t love her, and the only person he’s ever loved has been always right in front of him.

When he came back to his room, Camille’s things were gone and the room was once again clean. He figured Jeff sent someone to clean it up or something, either way he was grateful. His mind started going places he hasn’t allowed it to go in a long time, old memories with Y/N started rushing through his mind, then he started thinking on how things would be if he never made that stupid choice of giving up on her.

He wanted her back, he just didn’t know how. He wouldn’t blame her if he didn’t want to know anything about him as he felt like the most undeserving person of her love.

He started counting down the days that were left before he could go back to London and do everything in his power to get her back, silently promising her that this time, he will not fuck it up.

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

First thing Harry did after he gave his last concert, was book the first flight back to London. He asked Gemma to go pick him up from the airport and take him to Y/N’s house. At first, she thought he was crazy but then she heard how desperate he was and she accepted.

“I love you, little brother but you absolutely fucked it up.” She told him as she was driving. “How could you let her manipulate you into stopping talking with Y/N?”

“I don’t know, Gem.” He sighed. “I made a mistake, okay?”

“Do you love her?” Gemma asked the same question months back Camille asked. However, instead of using a harsh tone like his now ex-girlfriend did, Gemma’s tone was soft. Almost as she was afraid to ask the question. The difference was, Harry wasn’t afraid of the answer anymore.

“I do.”

He looked through the window, lost in thought. Gemma nodded to herself, satisfied with his answer. It was about goddamn time, she thought. She crossed her fingers Y/N would at least listen to what Harry had to say as she’d hate if all those years of knowing each other were suddenly trashed away.

Gemma barely parked the car before Harry jumped out of it. “Do you want me to wait?”

Harry shook his head, flashing her a little smile. “It might take a while. At least she’s home.” He pointed at her car, parked in the driveway. “Thank you, Gem.”

“Good luck, lovebird.” She smiled before driving away. Harry let out a big sigh before walking towards her front door. He knocked a couple of times and he could hear her dogs bark from the other side of the door.

Y/N opened the door but froze in her place as soon as she saw him. He opened his mouth but before he could say something, Y/N was already trying to close the door.

He put his foot to prevent it from closing. “Wait!”

“No. What are you doing here, Harry?” She tried to close the door again. “Please, leave.”

“Y/N please, I made a mistake.” He begged.

“Did you now?”

“Please, let me in. I can explain everything, just… please.” He said in a sad tone. Y/N looked at him. He hasn’t shaved his face and his hair was all over the place, his emerald eyes weren’t bright anymore. He just looked… sad.

A big part of her wanted to open the door for him to enter, but another part of her didn’t want to. For the past months, Y/N has really worked on making sure she knew her worth at all times. That no Seths and No Harrys were worth of her tears. She had to live with the fact that she lost both at the same time, making the whole in her heart even bigger.

In any other circumstances, she wouldn’t hesitate on letting him in. But that was the old Y/N. The one who put him above everything else, including herself. That Y/N wasn’t her anymore.  

“Harry…” She started saying. “I’m not ready.”

He looked up at her, his eyes were red from containing the tears, and although he wanted to say more, he respected her decision. “Would you let me know when you are?” All he wanted was a sight that there still was hope for them, and she could see it in his eyes, so she nodded.

“We’ll talk about it… soon. Just not now.”

A few weeks passed since that day and Harry lived every day hopping his phone would ring. He’d send little texts here and there for her, a way of letting her know he still cared and that he wasn’t giving up.

Dragging himself out of the house for the first time in weeks, Harry decided to go to the little coffee shop he used to frequent with Y/N in the past. They served the best coffee according to her, not like all the other overpriced cafés in London.

He smiled at the memory as he entered the place, going straight to make his order. His mind was too focused on other things that he didn’t realize he also ordered Y/N’s usual.

Now he had two coffees and a chocolate muffin, but it was just him there. He looked down at the order again, it made him feel like the old times where he’d stop by the shop before going to Y/N’s to hang out.

Without thinking about it twice, he hopped in his car again and drove in autopilot to her house. He hopped these past weeks had been enough for her to feel ready to talk.

“Hello, Harry.” She said, more relaxed this time as she opened the door.

“May I come in?” He asked. “I… I brought your favorite.”

She gave him a half smile, opening the door enough for him to come inside. He was immediately greeted by her two dogs and the very familiar sight of her home where he’s spent more times than he could ever remember.

“I was hoping we could talk.” He started. “I know there’s a big… big stain in our friendship now and believe when I say I would spend the rest of my life trying to erase it.”

“Why didn’t you go after me that night at your mum’s house?” She finally said after being silent.

“I thought you didn’t want to see me. I went to your mother’s house the next morning and found out you were gone.”

“I waited for you in my car. I thought we could talk it through but then… then Gemma called me and told me Camille gave you an ultimatum. I backed off because I didn’t want to ruin your relationship, Harry.”

“You didn’t ruin anything, Y/N. I did. I should’ve listened to you instead of screaming at you. I said horrible things to you and I’m so sorry. I should’ve play more attention on how were you feeling. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me.”

She pressed her lips in a thin line, swallowing her tears. “I’m sorry I didn’t support you on your relationship.”

“It’s okay. It’s over.” He said. “I found out she deleted your calls from my phone so I wouldn’t come here to be with you.”

“She told you that?” Y/N was surprised. She had thought about it, but never imagined Camille would admit it.

“She did. I let her manipulate me, but I know it was my fault too. I shouldn’t have let her come between us.”

“She was your girlfriend, Harry. Maybe she was right…” She mumbled, making him frown.

“What do you mean?”

“Harry, all your girlfriends have told you they didn’t like me or the relationship we had. Have you ever thought that’s exactly why your relationships wouldn’t work? You can’t keep choosing me over your partners.”

“Yes, I can.” He insisted.

“No. Perhaps we should’ve keep our paths separated.”

“What? No!” He stood up from the couch and so did Y/N. “Y/N, you can’t ask me to forget about you.”

“Maybe it’s for the best.”

“Says who? I won’t walk away from you, not again. I should’ve done a lot of things since that night, I should’ve known you were right, I should’ve been there for you.” He looked at her with tearful eyes. “I shouldn’t have let you walk away from me. I should’ve… I should’ve…”

His breath hitched, becoming aware of how close they were from each other now. Their noses almost touched as they looked into each other’s eyes, eyes that were full of emotion such as anger, sadness… love.

“I should’ve done this a long time ago.” He whispered before finally closing the distance between them. Y/N gasped before kissing him back with force. She wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him closer to her and deepening the kiss.

Kissing her felt so foreign yet so right. It was like all the pieces of the puzzle were coming together and he finally knew it was her all along. The only person that’s always been on his mind and the only one who held his entire heart, it was her.

It was only when they were running out of breath when they finally broke the kiss, but didn’t dare to broke the nonexistent distance between them. Y/N smiled for the first time he walked inside of the house, her eyes were notably brighter and she couldn’t help but let out a little giggle, feeling like a school girl again.

“I love you, Y/N. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it, but I swear I’ll remind you every day of your life how much I do.”

[lettheladylead]

Title: Witness

Summary: Scrooge is on trial and he needs a character witness, but he's not sure how helpful she'll be. Ship: Scrooge/Goldie Word count: ~3080 Notes: I needed to write something after seeing the summary for the upcoming episode, The Life and Crimes of Scrooge McDuck. ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29510085

-

“This trial is a sham!” Scrooge shouted, slamming his shackled fists onto the desk in front of him. “You havenae allowed me a proper lawyer or allowed anyone to testify on my behalf!”

The giant mystical judge scoffed and held the gavel in his hand, ready to use it if the duck continued yelling. Holding him in contempt of court would be an easy way to end this trial early, but he wanted to make sure Mr. McDuck paid properly for his crimes.

The prosecutor rolled his eyes and walked in front of the desk. “And whom would you have testify for you? In the High Mystical Court of Good Versus Evil, family members aren’t allowed.”

Scrooge gaped. “Not even as a character witness? I spend all my time with my family!”

The smug, suited creature shrugged at him with a smile. “Too bad, then. Looks like we’ll just have to continue listing how you’ve corrupted these fine men and women and forced them into lives of villainhood.”

The old duck seethed, grinding his teeth and considering his options. If he let the trial continue this way, his poor family up in the spectator’s seats was about to watch him get destroyed and they had yet to even discuss punishment, but Scrooge was sure it would be worse than anything he could get on Earth.

As he glanced up at his family - Donald, Della, and the boys in particular - he wondered if Webby or Twenty-Two would’ve been allowed to defend him had they been zapped here along with the rest of them. They just happened to be in the kitchen at the time of abduction and were probably losing their minds with worry. Hopefully one of the boys was able to send some sort of textual message to let them know what was going on.

At that thought, Scrooge’s eyes lingered on Louie and his phone, and a thought suddenly came to mind. It was something he wasn’t sure about...perhaps it’d be a bad idea...but he had no other options.

“I know someone!” he shouted. “I have a character witness who’s not in my family!”

The judge and prosecutor stared down with their many, many eyes - giving Scrooge an expression he could only describe as terrifying and suspicious.

“You still want to try this?” the prosecutor asked. “Alright, fine. Who is it?”

“Goldie O’Gilt.” Scrooge ignored the reactions from his family - particularly Della and Donald’s resounding ‘oh, please no’ - and hoped this would be a good choice.

The prosecutor looked up at the judge, who nodded his head and slammed his gavel down three times before snapping his fingers. “Alright.”

A few seconds passed without anything happening or anyone saying a word. Scrooge glanced from side to side. “Should you...call a recess so I can contact her?”

“That would be a waste of time,” the prosecutor said as there was suddenly a poof of purple smoke at the witness stand.

Everyone stared as the smoke dissipated to reveal one Goldie O’Gilt - currently wearing a bathrobe and her hair was down and wet and as soon as she opened her eyes she was immediately very unhappy.

“Oh, what the hell is this?” Goldie shouted, choosing to stay seated but glaring around the room. “What am I on trial for this time?”

Scrooge felt himself getting sweaty. Maybe this was a terrible idea.

“Nothing, Miss O’Gilt,” the judge said as he leaned down to look at her. “Mr. Scrooge McDuck is on trial for crimes of harassment, manipulation, and corruption against multiple innocent victims.”

Goldie blinked up at him and then turned her head to look at Scrooge.

He gave her a toothy grin and a small, nervous wave.

“So what does that have to do with me?” Goldie asked as she grabbed her hair and wrung it out onto the floor.

The prosecutor stared at the puddle of water and then glared up at their new witness. “You’ve been called as a character witness for Mr. McDuck. Now do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?”

The blonde rolled her eyes. “Sure.”

Scrooge dropped his head to the desk while the prosecutor and judge glanced at one another.

The bailiff walked over with a large brown book that had a giant lock around the side and was shaking a bit and making snarling sounds. Goldie raised an eyebrow as he held it towards her.

“Put your hand on this.”

Goldie grimaced. “Must I?”

“If you don’t want to testify, we can’t force you,” the prosecutor said with a pretentious glance up and down her body. “Clearly you were in the middle of something, after all.”

Goldie glared at him and in that moment decided she hated him more than she enjoyed inconveniencing Scrooge. She slapped her hand down on top of the book. “I swear to tell the truth.”

The bailiff mumbled something under his breath and then the book lit up and shone a bright light onto Goldie for a few seconds before fading away. He walked away as Goldie rubbed at her eyes.

“What was that?”

“That was a Light of Honestly,” the prosecutor said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Which means that so long as you’re at the witness stand, you’re physically incapable of lying or excluding relevant information from your statements.”

“What?!” both Goldie and Scrooge shouted at the same time. They immediately locked eyes with one another and could feel their shared nervousness almost psychically.

“Since when do you use something like that?”

“It was specifically requested and provided by one of the accusers in this case. Now, could you state your name and occupation to the court, please?”

Goldie’s left eye twitched as she squeezed the sleeves of her robes into her hands. “Goldie Kathleen O’Gilt. I…” She paused as if considering her words - or, Scrooge suspected, trying to find a way to word her lie so that it was still true. “...I own and operate a hotel.”

Scrooge’s eyes widened. She did what? He attempted to make eye contact with her so he could let her know how confusing what she just said was to him, but she was purposefully avoiding his stare.

“And how do you know Scrooge McDuck, Miss O’Gilt?”

Goldie frowned and glanced up at Scrooge before glaring at the lawyer. “He’s my…” She seemed to struggle with the words again. “...boy...friend?”

A collective groan could be heard from the duck boys in the peanut gallery while Scrooge couldn’t help the small smile that came to his face.

“Are you asking?” the judge asked sternly, leaning towards her again.

She grunted and angrily waved her hands around. “We’ve never really talked about it, alright? He’s the love of my life and we’ve been seeing each other on and off since 1897. How’s that for you?”

Scrooge was surprised not to hear another groan, and looked back to see the boys and Della looking quite touched by Goldie’s confession. They weren’t the only ones - even after their little Florida adventure, he never expected to hear those words come out of her mouth. Now he had ten times as much reason not to die right then and there.

“That’s descriptive enough, I suppose,” the prosecutor responded, clearly not recognizing or not caring about the emotional turmoil Goldie was going through after blurting that out so carelessly. “In the one hundred and twenty years you’ve known Scrooge McDuck, have you found him to be cruel?”

Scrooge stared at her pleadingly, despite knowing she physically couldn’t lie he still hoped she’d find a way to make him sound good.

Goldie brushed her fingers through her damp hair. “On occasion. But usually I was cruel to him first.”

“Usually, but not always?” the prosecutor asked, taking a look at the jury who were watching with gradually increasing interest. “So he has been cruel without provocation.”

“The first night we met involved me drugging his coffee and then him kidnapping me,” Goldie said nonchalantly, clearly starting to realize there was no fighting the Light of Honesty. “At the time I thought he was cruel, but looking back on it, I don’t mind that it happened.”

Scrooge closed his eyes and wondered what his family was thinking at that moment. He was thinking about all the different painful, mystical punishments he was going to face after Goldie destroyed his already limited chances of surviving this trial.

“Interesting. And over the years, have you witnessed Scrooge McDuck inflicting such cruelties on anyone else?”

Goldie rolled her eyes. “No. I like to think our relationship is special,” she added with a wink.

The prosecutor scoffed, annoyed by her response. “Can I assume this means your time spent with Scrooge McDuck is usually just the two of you, making you less than an expert on how he treats people he’s not having sex with?”

“Objection!” Scrooge yelled, standing up. “Curse me kilts, there are kids here!”

The judge shrugged. “He’s got a point.”

“Fine,” the prosecutor responded, putting up his hands in mock surrender. “But my question still stands.”

Goldie huffed. “Unfortunately for me, I have spent plenty of time with Scrooge’s other associates. I can’t confirm whether or not I’ve seen him around your particular accusers, but I’ve interacted with most of his enemies at one point or another.”

“...good to know,” the prosecutor said and brushed invisible dust off of his lapel. “Have you ever known Scrooge McDuck to harass others?”

“Only when they owe him money.”

“Oh? And does that happen often?”

Goldie let out a short laugh. “No one would be dumb enough to borrow from Scrooge! He adds interest even when you borrow five bucks for lunch.”

Scrooge pouted and ignored the temptation to argue that he had every right to do so.

“Have you known Scrooge McDuck to be manipulative?”

There was a pause at that question, one that filled the space between Scrooge and Goldie with a modicum of tension. “Yes.”

“...can you elaborate on that?”

Goldie sighed. “Well, he’s the richest duck in the world, a businessman, and an adventurer. You can’t be successful in any of those categories without being at least somewhat manipulative. Though he’s certainly not the most manipulative man I’ve dealt with, he’s not exactly a saint.”

Scrooge groaned and slammed his head against the desk multiple times in a row.

The blonde pouted angrily and tried to think of a way to save face. “That being said...if the accusers in question aren’t ex-business partners or fellow adventurers, I question the relevance of anything I’ve said.”

The jury seemed to find that statement interesting and the prosecutor glared angrily at Goldie for causing a stir. Scrooge lifted his head and smiled at her - now he was sure she was fighting to help him.

“I think we can allow the jury to decide the relevance of this information for themselves,” the prosecutor said with a snarl. “We don’t need any unfair extrapolation from our witnesses, Miss O’Gilt. Stick to the facts.”

Goldie let out a short, low hum and grabbed her hair to wring it out once again, getting water all over the attorney’s shoes. He gasped and stepped away from her.

“Oops!” Goldie put a hand to her beak, but offered no apology. No one needed to think twice to realize it was because she was incapable of doing so at that moment.

“Corruption is the biggest charge,” the prosecutor said matter-of-factly. “The accusers all claim that their villainy is a direct result of damages done to them, their property, or their livelihoods by Scrooge McDuck. Have you known Scrooge McDuck to be a corrupting person?”

Scrooge wondered about that charge against him in particular. He couldn’t deny that a lot of his enemies were a direct result of something he did - but it wasn’t purposeful nor was he the only person capable of causing these problems for them. If Scrooge hadn’t indirectly negatively impacted their lives, some other billionaire would’ve done it instead. It’s not like he was the only businessman-adventurer in the world.

“...yes.”

Scrooge sucked in a breath. He didn’t know what Goldie was going to say, but it couldn’t be good.

“Could you elaborate on that?”

“Not in any way that’s appropriate for the audience,” she answered with a smirk. “Wouldn’t want to corrupt the kids, too, after all.”

Scrooge exhaled loudly and blushed. Alright.

The prosecutor slapped a hand against his forehead. “Not that kind of corruption!” he shouted, pointing a finger into her face and getting much too close for anyone’s comfort. “Have you witnessed Scrooge McDuck influence the life of an innocent person in a way that led to them falling down a path of villainy?”

The jury reacted more than expected to the prosecutor’s anger, whispering among themselves briefly. Scrooge and the prosecutor both looked over at the Jury Box, but Goldie kept her eyes forward.

“...not purposefully, but yes.”

The prosecutor smiled. “Ahh, well naturally, if it wasn’t on purpose, then it doesn’t matter! Is that what you’re saying?”

Goldie’s left eye twitched again. “You asked me to state facts. I stated a fact. Do you have any other dumb questions?”

He glared at her and glanced up at the judge, who was leaning on his hand and watching their discussion closely. “I want to summarize what you’ve told us so far, Miss O’Gilt.”

“According to you, Scrooge McDuck may not be prone to harassment, but he is often cruel, fairly manipulative, and has been known to corrupt innocent people to villainy. Is that all correct?”

She frowned and tapped her fingers against her leg. “That’s all accurate to what I’ve said here, yes.”

The prosecutor turned back to look at Scrooge, whose expression could only be described as defeated. “Some character witness you’ve found yourself, Mr. McDuck.”

“Stick to the witness, Prosecutor,” the judge said quickly, holding up his gavel.

“Yes, Your Honor,” the prosecutor responded, moving back towards Goldie again. “Now, Miss O’Gilt, based on what you’ve told us here, Scrooge McDuck is not a nice man nor is he a noble man. Yet you referred to him as the, quote, love of your life, unquote. This leads me to believe that you, yourself, may not be a nice or noble person, either.”

She raised an eyebrow. “What’s your point?”

“If anyone has any doubts as to whether or not Scrooge McDuck is a cruel, manipulative person capable of horrible deeds, we need look no further than the fact that his girlfriend here is similarly cruel, manipulative, and as many of us here are already aware - a criminal.”

There were gasps among the crowd and the jury - the prosecutor turned his head towards them as he continued. “Yes, everyone, Miss O’Gilt here is actually quite familiar with the inside of this courtroom. She’s been on trial dozens of times over the past one hundred years for theft of mystical artifacts from every dimension and realm you can think of.”

Scrooge closed his eyes again and started counting. Perhaps if he did this long enough, he’d wake up from this nightmare he found himself trapped in.

Goldie, on the other hand, was unperturbed. “Been on trial, but never been convicted. Who’s the one bringing up irrelevant information now?”

“I simply thought it was important for our jury to be aware of the witness’ extracurricular activities.”

“The activities you have no evidence of,” Goldie said sternly. She glanced up at the judge. “I believe your prosecutor is harassing me when all I’ve done is comply with every question I’ve been asked both here and at previous trials.”

The judge considered this for a moment and looked down at the prosecutor. “She has a point. Was she convicted of any of the crimes you’re accusing her of?”

The prosecutor frowned. “No, but-”

“But nothing,” the judge said as he slammed down his gavel again. “You will move on from this statement of irrelevant accusations or I will have you replaced with another attorney.”

“...yes, Your Honor,” the prosecutor said with a bow, glaring at Goldie.

She smiled back at him, then glanced at Scrooge and blew him a kiss.

======

After court was adjourned and Scrooge’s handcuffs were finally removed after all those hours of magical metal chafing against his feathers, he spent an enjoyable few minutes being congratulated by his family before Goldie stepped out of the courtroom and stared at them.

“Um...Uncle Scrooge?” Louie said, tugging at his uncle’s sleeve.

“Yes, lad?”

“I think Aunt Goldie wants to talk to you.”

Scrooge considered taking a moment to discuss that nickname with his nephew, but Goldie’s presence distracted him enough that he simply turned around and walked towards her.

“You really saved me in there, O’Gilt,” Scrooge said softly as he reached down and grabbed one of her hands.

Goldie shrugged and squeezed his hand back. “Well it wasn’t like I could let them throw you in interdimensional prison. They don’t have conjugal visits, you know.”

He blushed and pulled his hand away. “Must you always be so inappropriate?!”

“Not always,” Goldie said as she took a step closer to him. “Just with you.”

Scrooge felt his heart racing and couldn’t help the nervous smile that came back to his face. “...I would’ve thought you’d run out of here as fast as possible after what you said.”

She played with her hair for a bit, roughly running her fingers through the knots that had formed since the judge had summoned her from her bathroom before she’d had a chance to brush. “It’s not like I said anything you didn’t already know.”

He smiled brighter and leaned forward to press a quick kiss against her beak; a disgusted groan sounded from behind him that he was pretty sure was Louie’s. “Is the judge sendin’ you back home?”

“After I’m done with you, yes.”

Scrooge grabbed her hands again. “How about you come to the mansion instead, dear?”

Goldie breathed out a laugh. “As much as I appreciate the offer, I’m not wearing anything under this robe and I’d kind of like to do something with my hair before it knots into a nest.”

“I’ve got some of your clothes,” Scrooge said quickly. “And showers. Towels. Hair brushes. Anythin’ you need.”

She raised an eyebrow and glanced back at Scrooge’s family who were all pretending not to pay attention to them. “Well...I suppose it wouldn’t hurt.”