#and i’m having my reality fucking rocked as i learn that everyone around me ‘knows’ im autistic and always have been

[spetura]

i could feel myself getting hot in the face as my mother was telling me about the autistic woman on survivor and expressing more empathy towards her and understanding about her coping mechanisms than i feel like i’ve ever heard from her in my life

[waitmyturtles]

Alright, I was a little late in watching Be My Favorite, episode 9, but I’m all caught up and here’s the late meta: @lurkingshan, I know you hipped to me that the episode was sad, and it was, definitely, but also -- I found to be uplifting, and not just because of that RIDICULOUSLY GORGEOUS dialogue between Kawi and Pisaeng at the end of the episode (could Gawin BE ANY BETTER in this show?! GODDAMN).

But first, a couple quick notes. I didn’t have time to pay my respects through the reblogs earlier yesterday, so: yes to the fat-coding discussion re: Kwan (agree with you, @lurkingshan and @jjsanguine) -- amazing dialogue at the link, and my theory on Not x Kwan is that Not is meant to represent TOTAL heteronormativity, which isn’t a stretch for him, obviously. (When characters are written to be so DESPICABLE, it gets me thinking that the character is actually written really fucking well.)

In this instance, if we are to compare Kawi to Not: Kawi, through his reflections on the future and the past, is slowly working on changing himself (more on this in a moment re: the uplifting bit). He’s learning through his mistakes that he’s either made and/or knows he COULD have made.

Not, I think, represents society’s disinclination to either change, and/or to change AND accept the change of others. I write about behavioral change a lot, because it’s really fucking hard to do, AND people who try to change in their micro- or macro-communities often have a tremendously hard time being accepted... kinda like coming out of a closet, as Kawi and Pisaeng’s relationship is revealed against their will, and Kawi immediately clocks that it’s Not who’s behind it. As well, referring back to the fat-coded discussion re: Kwan -- I get the sense that Not would “never see Kwan that way,” because the fat-coding around Kwan would signal that Not is “lowering his standards” about women, which could affect his reputation with his guy friends. His behavior, I think, is loathsome precisely because it’s rooted in such perfectly delineated heteronormativity -- from spotting Kawi and Pisaeng *not* kissing, to assuming they kissed, to narc-ing to Pear about it, to telling his dudes the next day in class with people around, to knowing that Kawi overheard it. He’s just -- playing the perfect biased het dude, to a tee. Not is playing his own role in society as he believes it should function.

Which is why I, along with hopefully everyone in the fandom (lol) loved that Pear rejected him. And I’d call that moment an uplifting one for Pear. We know, in a different scenario, that Pear leaving Kawi COULD HAVE MEANT that she ended up with Not.

Instead, in what’s being presented to us as the active and live world of Kawi’s current truth, Pisaeng had the opportunity to confirm to Pear the HONEST truth about his relationship with Kawi. In the Kawi-is-a-rock-star alt-reality -- Kawi was holding back from Pear, keeping his feelings away from her, and putting himself first. She wasn’t presented with truth from others, and thus led herself to believe that being with Not, in marriage, was going to be the right decision for her and the baby they had conceived of. 

In the current, we’re-still-in-university reality, her friends -- Pisaeng and Kawi -- are honest with her. They both cannot give her the heterosexual love that she desires from a man. Not appears. And she rejects him. 

This is such a complicated and, to me, lovely “reality” to contemplate, and links tremendously with what Pisaeng was saying to Kawi at the end of the show. Reflecting back on the earlier episodes: Kawi could not save his dad. Kwan might be heartbroken. And Pear is heartbroken, twice -- maybe even three times, from her mom, from Pisaeng, and from Kawi. 

Kawi demonstrates through his changing behavior that drinking ain’t gonna solve these problems. Even Pisaeng confirms that, too. 

The show, instead, is inching a bit closer, not to absolute truth, as I dissected when I first binged through episode 7, but instead to a kind of truth that is as best as you can make it, while working on making your life better. 

@sparklyeyedhimbo​ noted that Nietzsche came thru again in this episode (THANK YOU, friend @chickenstrangers, for hipping me to the link!). The quote behind Kawi and Pisaeng is from “Thus Spake Zarathustra”: “He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.”

As Pisaeng said, and I paraphrase: if you want to be happy, you gotta do the work. If you want OTHERS to be happy.... you gotta do the work of making YOURSELF HAPPY, *FIRST.*

And I find that message UTTERLY uplifting, and I think Pear took some of that with her when she walked away from Pisaeng and Kawi to stand up for herself with Not, and to not compromise on her values to potentially be him. I thought that was badass. Pear has a life of change ahead of her.

One final note. Pisaeng’s talk with Kawi at the end of the episode happened to touch me as a mom, even though the monologue was rooted in an uplifting and romantic perspective. It struck me that part of what Pisaeng was saying was -- if we’re happy, people will see that we’re happy, and that might HELP PEOPLE find THEIR OWN happiness.

It reminded me a lot of behavior modeling, which is a wonderful modality for parents/caretakers to practice when raising kids. It’s essentially, like -- we adults will behave exactly the way we WANT our kids to LEARN to behave, and we can show them honest ways of communicating if we communicate well ourselves. If you want your kids to be critical thinkers, for instance -- demonstrate conversations of critical thinking IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS, and maybe even involve them in those conversations. 

I really believe that being happy isn’t something that any one person, or a coupling, should be judged for. Look at fucking Not -- judgement all over the place. Again: I think he represents heteronormative society, a part of which pooh-poohs deep love happiness for the sake of negativity and criticism. 

Instead, I love that Be My Favorite takes the responsibility of having Pisaeng and Kawi model for us, IN THEIR OWN WORDS AND BEHAVIORS, the very hard work of CHANGING, for yourself, maybe even for the people you love, and showing the people you love, and your community around you, that that change is very much worth making, to find better and more HONEST happiness in your life. THAT’S how Kawi can impact others, in the end.

(Let us hope, oh LET US HOPE, this show continues to be as good as this episode!)

[girlreviews]

Review #112: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, Elton John

There are a bunch of songs on this album that we probably all know and love. If you don’t, you’ve been living under a rock or something and there’s not a lot of hope for you. They’re great. But have you ever listened to Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding? The double opener of this record. Half instrumental before leading into its vocal second half. It’s intense. Gotta wonder whose funeral this was and what their wishes were in being remembered. They weren’t messing around.

Bennie and the Jets, a damn classic, recorded in the studio but sort of made to sound as if was recorded live by adding in crowd sounds from different live shows – including that of a 1970 Jimi Hendrix show on the Isle of Wight (???). This song slaps. It’s so ridiculous. The delivery of the vocals is absurd, and it’s just really made for drunk people at a bar to shriek it over and over. I’ve lost my voice a couple of times this way.

A hit, but an underrated one (since there are so many to choose from in Elton John’s repertoire), is the album’s title track, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. I’ve always been enamored with this song and how it tells a bleak tale of someone with big dreams being faced with a harsh reality. People are all too willing to take advantage of naïve, eager, people like them. You can have everything you want – at a price. It has such stark imagery in it:

“What do you think you’ll do then?

I bet they shoot down the plane

It’ll take you a couple of vodka and tonics

To set you on your feet again

Maybe you’ll get a replacement

There’s plenty like me to be found

Mongrels, who ain’t got a penny

Sniffin’ for tidbits like you

On the ground”

It’s too short and I’m always disappointed when it’s over because I think, man, I could hear that chorus a few more times. The harmonies and production of it are just really striking and really deliver feeling like, “this life isn’t for me”. It’s not sad exactly. It’s maybe like a disappointment and acceptance. A moving on. A hard lesson learned.

What I love about this record is that it’s the original material for a 2011 album that made its way into my all-time favorites, and I felt got massively overlooked by just about everyone and that’s really just to their detriment. In 2011, Elton John and Pnau released Good Morning to the Night, which was essentially Pnau (one half of Empire of the Sun) remixing Elton’s lesser-known B-sides or album tracks into new material. A lot of them came from the album tracks of Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. It. Was. Out. Standing. Pure joy to listen to. I have met approximately one other human being who gives a fuck about it. Anyway, shit was good. For example, in the title track Good Morning to the Night, they take the organ from Funeral for a Friend, and fuckin’ turn that shit into a heavenly ascent that you do not come down from. It’s no funeral. You’re alive.

My favorite track, however, is Phoenix, which lifts its lyrics exclusively from the 1973 record's Grey Seal. While the music in Phoenix is beautiful, uplifting, inspiring, and has encouraged me to run more miles than I can count – it’s the words. When I first moved to the US I spent the first few months of my time here in a very particular way. I slept a lot. A LOT. I got up every day. Made tea, in the microwave (if you know me, you know this pains me to admit), and then I ran three miles on a treadmill to get my feelings out. Then I cried. Then I watched as much Breaking Bad as one human can reasonably consume without crawling up the walls with anxiety. Rinse. Repeat. Eventually, I got a job. But this was my job for a bit while I worked out some shit in my nugget and got some rest. I had a playlist. I still have it, and I still use it when I run. It’s batshit to be honest, if anyone ever listened in on me at the gym, they’d be like what weird shit makes this girl run? Anyway. Phoenix is on there as an up-tempo feet mover, but really, as I maintain, it’s the message, which is really the verses from Grey Seal, that made me go-go-go:

“Why's it never light on my lawn

Why does it rain

And never say good-day to the new-born

On the big screen they showed us the sun

But not as bright in life as the real one

It's never quite the same as the real one

I never learned why meteors were formed

I only farmed in schools

That were so warn and torn

If anyone can cry then so can I

I read books and draw life from the eye

All my life is drawings from the eye

Your mission bells were wrought by ancient men

The roots were formed by twisted roots

Your roots were twisted then

I was re-born before all life could die

The Phoenix bird will leave this world to fly

If the Phoenix bird can fly then so can I”

This song has always made me dig deep and keep going. Whether on a stupid treadmill or in a really hard time. He asks the grey seal “How does it feel to be so wise? To see through eyes that only see what’s real?”. It makes me think of the story of The White Seal, by Rudyard Kipling. A young blue-eyed seal went against his elder's advice to seek a safe place for them all and found it, gaining a lot of wisdom on the way. Striking out on one’s own to avoid a fate that seems completely inevitable, against all the naysayers, and fucking making it happen. Anyway. One version of the song has a seal (and a phoenix) and one version of the song has a phoenix only, both versions are remarkable. Only one is on the Rolling Stones's Top 500 Albums of All Time, and that is Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.

[deancodedcastielenby]

Someone asked me the other day why I love this stupid show so much. And before I could think I just said: “Because they are human.” To which I got: “Uh… they are fictional characters.”

And Yeah I get that, but my point still stands. They are human. Even our gay little angel, he’s so very human it hurts. In a world full of Kardashians and reality TV I take SPN every time, because unlike those reality tv shows I can connect to these characters on a very personal level.

Dean is selectively mute, follows his fathers orders almost to a fault as a child, and takes care of a younger sibling. Take out the motels and the minute amount of money and you could be talking about me. Dean did whatever it took to keep his brother safe, I did the same for my brother when my parents were fighting. Different battles, but I can identify with this character. The first person Dean tells who he is and that he is in love with that person, they drop him like a dead weight. The way he thinks he doesn’t deserve to be happy! The way he thinks that all he has “earned” in life is scorn… its like looking in a fucking mirror.

Sam was always the “new kid” the “weird kid” and the “nerdy kid”. Well fuck if that wasn’t me in school. I excelled, to a point where teachers asked me to take a course again, to be their assistant teacher. Sam has this sense of needing to fit in, and wanting to just be normal. What teen doesn’t? He did after school activities to give Dean a break and also not be at the motel because he butted heads with John. When I tell you I used to drive around for HOURS when I got my license and be out of the house as much as humanly possible its no fucking joke. Sam wanted to be a lawyer because he has this sense of Justice, he has seen the world beat the hell out of his brother and him, he has seen all the dark things and he wants to make things safe with what he thinks is the only “gift” he’s got, and that’s his head. For the longest time everyone told me I should be a lawyer because I would stand up for what I believed in, and I had a strong moral compass… Sam fell for the “wrong” people, and even the people put in his path because he just wanted to be loved for who he was and… well I cannot count the number of shit relationships I have been in.

Castiel was angel, and he had purpose! He knew exactly what he was meant to do and didn’t ask questions… until this immovable force blocked that path and let him see for the first time. He saw these flawed people that he was working with and he *felt*. Like, that is fucking special. Dean was able to let him see the moment Cas touched his soul, and because of Dean he was able to create free will. Sure I don’t have the best relation to this one, but I can tell you that growing up in a conservative household where I was told things were to be a certain way or else, finding out that there was more to the picture was like a punch in the gut. I made bad choices, and I chose the wrong people, and i believed the lies I was fed… until I didn’t any more. Until my amazing friends called me on my BS and they showed me that I was missing a helluva lot. I’m still fucking learning, and so yeah I could understand Cas quite a bit.

Bobby Singer was the father I WISH I FUCKING HAD. Someone who took the time to just know ME who I was and not force shit on me so that I learned “marketable skills”. Watching that scene where he is wandering around with Rufus and seeing little Dean and him at the fucking park? I CRIED LIKE A FUCKING BABY.

But its that, that connection that makes them human. Its that reason that i keep going back. Its the flaws that I see in these people that I can see in myself and just having that where i can see it is extraordinary. Sure I love the story itself, but just a muscle car and classic rock wouldn’t have kept my attention for 15 seasons. It was the Characters that did. Do I have the biggest love for Sam? No, and I admit that. Sure there are a lot of similarities in flaws, but i just never could get behind Sam. I felt a loser kinship to Dean, because I am an eldest child, and I do know the weight of the world on my shoulders even though I am an adult now I still feel it. Like Dean I would never abandon my siblings if they needed me, no matter what we were going through, and I think when Sam didn’t look for Dean it kinda killed that for me. Because we weren’t the “same anymore”. Not to say he’s a bad character, I just don’t like some of the choices that the writers went with, and that’s okay because I still love the show.

I tried to convey all of this in my haphazard way, and some of the people I was talking to get it, I think. But it still comes down to “they are fictional characters”. So? Maybe to you, but to me? They are a reflection of the shit I am dealing with. They are reflections of battles I have within myself every damn day. They are important to me, because I can see myself in those positions doing the same stupid shit with the hand I was dealt and for a moment I can say: “Well see someone else would do it too. I’m not alone.” And that’s the greatest part about fandom because you can share these same type of experiences with people all over the globe. We all have our reasons for loving this silly little show with all the issues in the world, but it’s OURS.

Sorry for the rant…. I just needed to talk about it.

[starlightson]

August

Be so yourself in a world that’s too afraid to be themselves

SHINE

NEVER SHOW EMOTION TO ANYONE

NEVER LOOK INSECURE

BE HURT IN PRIVATE

BE PERFECT IN PUBLIC

Self awareness of being striking and beautiful, act like a work of art. Everyone is captivated by you everywhere you go so behave like an art piece and let them see your beauty.

“You don’t exist in anyone else’s world, you exist in your world” -Laura

To have no feeling is freeing.

Noni said “you stand out, that’s why everyone stares. If you look around, everyone’s pretty average. You’re striking and people aren’t used to it”

Treat everyone like they’re your best friend, you never know who you’ll connect with

People look like their karma. View everyone’s looks as their karma

It’s almost as if people want to punish you for having powers. Beauty, intuition and intelligence seems to trigger people, mainly the people who lack those qualities

“The flowers are so pretty, they must want to be photographed” - so often people assume a beautiful thing wants to be looked at. When really, they just want to be appreciated but not be objectified.

I am the most beautiful person in the world

Always act happy and unbothered (no matter the circumstances) you’re so pretty people want to see a reaction so give them nothing but unbothered beauty

Nonchalant with men. The less you give the more they chase

Do not allow randoms to have access to you. Only ones you love and business deals

Being gay you see the worst side of people and the best. That’s why we’re authentic because we realize living for other people is not worth your happiness

The people’s prince

Does it benefit me? If not, it doesn’t exist.

I obtain what they’ll never possess

It’s not about our differences, it’s about how we treat each other. We can celebrate our differences to learn from them

No one exists unless I say they do. I have the say so of my reality

There’s benchwarmers, then there’s centers of attention. All you have to do is walk to be mentioned

Mean people either want to fuck me, befriend me or be me.

You’re not supposed to fit in because you’re meant to form the expectation. You’re a leader, so lead

“you are yourself and what you want”

“Forever somewhere” - kelly Green

These aren’t people you know, they are people you knew. That time is over. - Joseph Flynn

What’s mine is mine. What belongs to me is for me.

View everyone as someone’s baby. Each and every person you pass is someone’s loved child

Tell yourself “I’m amazing, it’s time to rock this shit” each time you wake up, you set a tone for yourself to pursue a great day because that’s what you decide. You decide how your days become.

“You have always been true to you no matter what anyone has ever said, that’s something I admire about you” -Julio

My attention is what makes them special

A persons opinion won’t buy you a Bugatti

You light up a room -mamasan

Careless rich kid energy

But move like a work of art

Look doe eyed and innocent, it makes everyone be nice to you

The ambition seen by those without out it will pin you as intolerable because they aren’t there yet. But they’ll get it in there best moments and realize their annoyance to your eagerness at life was just them comparing themselves.

Be strong, strength is beautiful

High class

If they try to tear you down, it means they view you as above them

I am a work of art, that’s why everyone looks and will hate me if they can’t afford to compare

Worry for what? Fuck it and have fun

I am what can be, in a world that has always been

You are not like anyone on this earth. You are a celebrity in every space you step in, elevate everyone

Play the role, you have to be something for each and every person.

Perfection or else you’re a problem

Never trust anyone

Always preform your perfect persona. You’re not a person, you’re made to be perfect

You are luxury, people look at you like you’re a Birkin bag. Broke people hate on luxury cause they can’t afford it, in the same light, dim people hate people with light cause they can’t be it and hate on you for not feeling stifled like them

You are here to be authentically you - the best and most authentic version of you

Choose yourself. Prove yourself right every time you love yourself the way you wanted someone to love you. It’s time

I’m striking. I literally stun people when I step into the room

Look soft but be strong

Never lift the veil, be perfect and only show a refined composure

I want to do things I love because I love to do it and not because I’m trying to do it hoping that it will make me feel happy.

Everyone is always staring cause god put me

In his spotlight

They are watching his creation that he designed to shine so of course they’d stare, when the ones with light shine it draws the ones who are dim like a moth to a flame.

I am divinely protected by god

If I’m not happy for everyone else then I’ll be nothing to everyone.

I feel like I have to make people feel wanted so that I feel wanted by them. And most times, in my attempt to love someone they don’t love me back. I love the damaged because I am too, but because they are damaged they don’t love me back. So I sit alone, afraid to love again while knowing it takes love to lead people from pain and that’s all I want to do

Get your shit together august. Be disciplined. Be responsible.

Stop abusing your body. Stand up for yourself and your health. Attributes to help others:

Attitude: you know you belong here it’s your birthright

Beauty isn’t loud, it’s gentle and soft

I don’t want to write quotes to find the beauty in the world, I want to write in spite of it. To not write words to help me survive the world but write because I’m living it

Oh they’re hating? Tell them to do what you do better. They can’t. And it’s exactly that. Just a hater who can’t win.

Sex sells - blond boujee

Bad bitch who’s beautiful and soft

Breakfast at Tiffany’s attitude

Imagine what you’re saying is being written down infront of you to read. Speak with intention, only say words that matter and with intelligence

You make people shine when you do. When you bring the light to those who need it, their reminded how to shine. I am a leader, a light and a loving person. You have such a light, shine and shine even more. Let them all see it happen! If they try to dim you from their lack of light, show them how to shine too by shining even more.

You’re better than numbing yourself with alchol or smoking. Cherish your gift of light

Performative positivity is so damaging. Find a safe space to be vulnerable but be guarded like an iron wall to who you show weakness to.

Not everyone is your friend, you can’t trust people right away but behave like you do. You embody leadership, stop hiding from showing it.

Be wise of who you call a friend, just because you want to be everyone’s friend doesn’t me they are yours. They could be lurkers, staying around just to suck your energy.

People favor the beautiful ones who behave like they don’t know they are beautiful. The humble, shy innocence of beauty is a force to get what you want

My innocence brings light to others, that is my purpose, to bring light to others

Giving them love and light is what people who drain those things from you need the most. I am the source with god, and being that means there is no limit to my light. would treat you as a charge to fulfill what they lack. You’re presence is pure and heavenly, don’t let the terror of the emotional and violent people ever make you like it’s not.

Innocent and intelligent (act innocent while sharing intelligence)

I love my sisters, and the chosen sisters, my lights in my life, I’ll love them forever

Always wish them well

Worry about who you are for you, not who other people are. That’s their responsibility

Just love that your happiness is what makes them mad rather than their own sadness. You’ve made it baby boy, what better than to be hated for your happiness than being infectious by your sadness.

Act with the innocence of a child but have the intelligence of a politician

Always innocent and naiveté

Composure is everything

All you have to do is smile. Everyone loves a smile

Remember how happy you were as a teen. Full of light, making everyone happy, find that boy again and be him

If someone doesn’t like or support me, that is their problem. They have to deal with their feelings with it, not me

Life preforms for you

The moment you try to prove yourself, you’re proving them right.

“You bring up the vibe” - kind person

TRUST YOURSELF, YOU CAN DO ANYTHING

I deserve to have it all, it’s my time to shine

It is very important to pay attention to how people talk about and treat people they don’t like. That’s how they treat people who have nothing to offer them

I’m in the prime of my life, LIVE IT!

Cruelty is so easy. You’re not special for choosing it. Kindness shapes worlds

See my power is divine and destined, weak people have to deal with darkness to feel powerful but for me, I was chosen to have light and power

Never attribute malice to what can be attributed to incompetence

It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks, it only matters what I think and I know I’m beautiful and smart and kind

I am so blessed to be me, I love being blessed and beautiful. Thank you

Become your environment, like a chameleon

Search for the light in people’s eyes again. Find their shine and help them shine brighter

I need to put what I want first over what people want. Some don’t want you to choose you because they don’t want to see you win and outgrow them

I come across as confident & humble -that’s what’s beautiful about me

Let your guard down and be vulnerable - be yourself

“You’re special, I can’t explain it” - Mahina

I have light

Think of making Noni proud

Behave like the prince you are

I deserve to be here

When I step away from myself I forget that I’m an angel, and when I forget I feel like I don’t deserve to feel good or worthy or being an angel. So be like the Delicate music video and let that be one reminder that your dancing through life as an angel waiting to be noticed as who you are, which is a living angel, who is: timid, innocent and classy & graceful in movement

They stare because you’re the star ⭐️

Think about your mother when you’re falling apart. She’s strong, beautiful, a stature of strength. Remember that picture of her on the bench at the Kingdom Hall. Have that grace and strength you saw in that picture.

Be like water - like water we continue to flow onward and upward in wealth and prosperity, shapeless and

Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.

-Bruce Lee

Teach everyone what perfect is: be the example of perfection. On time, happy, soft, silent

Everyone is my audience

You know of me but you don’t know me

If I didn’t shine they wouldn’t try to dim me

If you don’t decide to lead yourself, then you’ll be easily lead

With men, your fantasy is not their reality. Be you but not for him

My biggest wish is to see beauty in the world without needing a drink or substance to do so. My mind doesn’t let me be happy despite my desperate attempts, I pursue it every day though and it gives me hope when I feel it.

In a world where you don’t fit in, you have no choice but to set the standard

It’s so tiring caring what people think, just make sure you think happy thoughts and be the light you’ve always been

Never forget your bedroom mind, that was your safe space. Where you grew

They don’t want to give you the time of day, attention or validation cause they know you’re beautiful and they are hoping you don’t know that by trying to keep you from getting validation. You don’t need their validation, they want you to need it though so you’re best response is not giving them attention.

“You’re always happy every time I see you, it’s so attractive” -a friendly stranger

By seeing the good in people, you have the power to change that person

I am a gift, people are lucky to have the privilege of seeing me

Have fun and don’t give a shit about who isn’t

Have compassion for a persons small mindedness that stems from a lack of education

I don’t like that you get tired of yourself. I think you should love yourself

All I have to be is me, everyone else follows

•confidence

•kindness

•softness is

I’m not here to make anyone comfortable, I’m not here for anyone’s approval, I am me and I am only concerned with my opinion and approval

When a star stumbles, the dim ones rejoice. Nothing feels better to someone who lacks light than to see someone who shines fall

Everyone loves an icon, don’t be afraid to be one

I walk within white light

Never forget you’re a love story, you stay in a daydream state of mind

What I’ve learned about people who are insecure:

They try to reject you before you reject them

I am a daydream

I’m everyone’s child, be it

“You have a bleeding heart”

I look unapproachable

I don’t accept negative energy and anyone who projects it onto me is so lacking that they want me to be lowered down to their pathetic level

Act dumb and airheaded

Do I actually care? Like really? Or is my mind just overthinking

Anyone who is a dick is a dick to everyone and gets off on being a dick. It’s not you it’s them and it’s always them

They assume you’re going to be stuck up because you have the look of a stuck up person cause you’re hot af, show them how kind you are and don’t take their immediate reaction of thinking you’ll be a bitch personally

Get close with the mountains

Be stoic

But authentic to yourself. You are the state.

I am always protected by my ancestors

If they can’t share my happiness with me they don’t deserve to it’s benefits

Small, skinny, striking

Always have a goal to stay centered in light

Hold them accountable for how they act. It’s them not you. You’re not relatable because your perfect, and people want that but when they see you they are reminded that they aren’t you. Only you are you.

I’m a Barbie

They treat you like your foreign because you’re foreign to them, you are so elevated that people compare their lever to yours so when they look at you like a foreigner it’s because your light is foreign to those who lack it.

He told me “you’re an experience” but I want to be told that I’m valued

I’m a psychic and I can see people immediately. I am gentle with my gift but wise with myself

Am I being me or am I trying to be somebody for them.

When I buy a mansion, I’m gonna take care of everybody who needs a place to live

I don’t relate to low vibrational people, that’s why when they don’t like me it bothers me but it’s the universe showing me that I’m beyond that mentality. I’m on a higher level than those negative people. They do anything to lower your vibration down to their lever and may not even know that’s what their doing, send them away with love and light.

A dirty look means you’ve disrupted their sense of self, it’s a compliment to you if people project negativity. It’s cause you stand out. Transmute it and use it like battery to keep being you.

I am a higher being. But just because I come from the light doesn’t mean I don’t belong among people who want to shine as well: I want to illuminate people

Are you making people happy or are you being bitch? Your one job is to do what god does and be there to share light and illuminate the lives of people

It feels good for them to treat you badly because life dealt you a better hand and they don’t like the hand they’ve been dealt so for them to be mean to you is to feel better about being lacking when they see you have more.

Geisha mentality - learn the ways of geisha

Why but into a lower mindset, create a high vibration and become it. Live it. Don’t fake it, fuck the rest and become it.

Always look up

It’s my responsibility to be hot and unbothered

Put the emphasis into the value of your accomplishments. Rather than “great job” it should be “you worked so hard to accomplish this”

“You’re so talented” because you’re capable not because you need validation for it. You are it.

Be so much yourself that everyone feels safe to be themselves too after meeting you

Your impression of people is a projection of the fear of how people may see you. When you find the love for yourself you give to others to make you feel like you can love yourself, you’ll only see that love in the world

I don’t care how much you like them, if they’ve cheated before they will cheat you as well. So if you don’t leave after finding that out, then you asked for it.

Like a baby throwing a tantrum, insecure people will act the same way so treat them like the little child they are. They’re growth is their responsibility

Life was meant to be slow so you can feel rather than fear. Feel every moment and down worry about anything beyond the moment. Everything always works out, thats the way it is. Always right and full of light.

Looking like a person who clearly loves themselves will trigger some people because they take your self love as a personal attack and compare themselves to the level at which you hold yourself. So don’t take it personally when they treat you like an outsider because being shunned by an insecure person is the best compliment you can get!

You’re the hardest on yourself when you’ve grown. When you level up and learn and grow, you start to hold yourself to an expectation of that growth that you’ve just learned and will be harder on yourself more than ever because you’ve now gained the knowledge to elevate. Be soft with yourself in this process because your only experience the rise to a better being.

I’m far from worthless, god gifted me this body and it’s my privilege to value it because it’s priceless.

I have so much light, it’s my responsibility to allow people to be blinded by the shine. I’m only responsible for myself, no one else or their feelings

Respond to good things saying: I needed this

Respond to bad things saying: I don’t accept this

Go with the flow, let people lead (people love people who they can tell what to do)

I teach people how to treat me well by treating them

Anything someone does to lower your vibration, transmit it to know they only want to lower your vibration to theirs

STOP TAKING THINGS PERSONAL! You are the state, you are an existence that has never been present before, of course people would act out of hand in your presence. They don’t know any better!

Always remember the light in life if the darkness ever casts a shadow. Darkness only exists without light and we have it

It’s my priority to be happy for Noni

I’m still learning to feel like I deserve to be happy

My light it so bright that dim people don’t want me to see it. Yet I shine and I rise like the sun

[pacinosgf]

❝ we were in austria, which is a very depressing country, with all due respect, though i think barbara would have really enjoyed the place if she wasn’t catatonic during our stay there. when she got a bit better, i made her take walks with me all through vienna so she could tire herself out before getting back to the hotel. one day she asked if we could rent bikes for our walks. and then another day she left the room, alone and in her own will, for the first time, without saying anything. i was sleeping and when i woke up, she wasn’t there. i was still hiding any sharp objects from her at that point, mind you. i was almost calling the police, but she came back with a huge map of the countryside, telling me that we should visit it. i thought, well, this has changed her forever. but maybe we can learn how to live after this. ❞

❝ we spent a few months in greece, but ultimately settled down in italy. i didn’t want to come home. coming home meant facing everything again, finding a new way to live. i got an abortion in another country so i could deal with it privately, but somehow it got leaked to the american press. i didn’t want to mope anymore, either. i felt sick of myself. i got tired of jim being all careful around me. i didn’t want to be this fragile little thing for the rest of my life, though i learned to let myself be taken care of after that. i learned how to slow down. i can’t always do and be everything for everyone.

i bought a leather bound notebook so i could write in a brand new diary. many of my first entries were just describing my day. we went to the beach. we ate ice cream. saw a woman dressed like brooke in the street. i cut my hair. in venice, we stayed at the house of a family for a while and i sang for them so i could thank their hospitality. i did my best to have myself back, little by little. now that i’m telling it after so much time it seems it wasn’t that big of a deal, but i know it was. i spent months out of myself. you can recover from that, but there will always be a little part of you that wants to give in to that dark place, those dark thoughts. when i got back home from brooke’s funeral, i found myself lying on the cold floor at this old age of mine, same thoughts as i had back then. see what i mean?

then, after two years, we got back home. i had missed my house, missed my huge garden, missed my instruments. i cried out of relief when i found out i could still play. i found myself trying to get used to this new reality, producing and only producing, but still coming up with random lyrics. still coming up with bass lines. i still loved the music. that part of me hadn’t gone anywhere, but now i had to learn again how to deal with it.

i listened to brooke’s album, of course. someone sent it to us and it was right there, waiting for me when i got home. seeing the words brooke wellington’s first solo album hurt like hell. but it was good. she had always wanted to rely into this heavy rock sound. i felt happy for her. she didn’t seem to be alright, but that’s how brooke is. i didn’t have a say in it anymore. i wanted to kill myself when i heard my bones and dope, but it wasn’t my business.

i lived. i worked. i took care of myself. didn’t get out of the house much. all that fire i had to do things had been lost. i felt a bit of it again when i was organizing contemplations and ramblings, and then i was reminded people would see it and try to find hidden meanings in my lyrics, i was reminded brooke would know that i had been fucking miserable. but it was good to write again. our solo work was so different. most of my songs were ballads, i’ve always loved a folk sound. my voice sounded so much older for some reason, when only two years earlier i thought of it to sound so ingenue. my plan was to release the album as an exorcism, you know? this is the last you will see of me, take good care.

and it worked. people didn’t care much about contemplations, which i still love and feel proud of, but i did. i kept writing and singing many songs, but i kept them all to myself. the spell they had put on me was over. i can’t say much about it, but when we had the reunion, though i felt immensely good for being on stage, i felt immensely good for being able to get back home. salting the wound for one night had been enough.

i had a few girlfriends here and there, but i knew i couldn’t love again. not how i loved brooke. i had more faith than ever in my love for jim after all the drama, but i couldn’t be the same anymore. i felt terrible about him. had damned him to this life. i told him, in the sweetest way i could, baby, if you ever want to, you know, actually have a family, go for it. i won’t blame you. i hoped he did it. i wanted to see him far away, happy with his family, and then brooke far away, not so happy with dash, and be sure that i was the problem of all of us. i would never give jim the divorce, but i could do that for him. we discussed the women he was seeing, i thought it was no big deal.

and then jim did the most stupid thing in the world, because he can think properly when he wants to. i thought he’d find a model, you know? an actress. maybe a normal girl who wanted a good life. he looked nice, and i knew he was loyal like a dog. i remember thinking they’re going to take my husband away from me.

but he went back to venus. i hadn’t gone back there since my failed visit, but he had. he spent months there, talking about how he is so miserable and his wife hates him and he just wanted a bit of love to whoever would listen. and of course, some slut listened to him, because there will always be a woman who will see a failed man, ignore the reasons that he might have been failed for, and think i can be good to him. i had grown up with her, though we weren’t exactly friends. jim stayed at her house, played house with that woman just like he did with me, would occasionally visit me so i would mind my business. he got her pregnant.

i punched him right in the eye when he told me who he got pregnant, how he wanted to be there for her, and that we needed to divorce. he wanted his part of our money so he could raise the child. mind you, jim wouldn’t raise no fucking child. that’s a man who was raised to drink while his children cried. that’s a man who got used to the good tour life, where he could have a different woman every hour and he’d leave soon, no need to think if she had gotten pregnant or what. he humiliated me in front of everyone that once knew me, people who already didn’t like me, by doing that.

i went to venus to see the bitch. didn’t beat her up because she was pregnant, but beat up everyone who tried to take me out of there. called her a whore, a homewrecker, a gold digger, screamed to the point my throat closed down. if she thought she would get that money so easily, she’d have to go to court or kill me.

she went to court, against jim. that was an easy fix, he had to pay for child support anyway. and then jim went to court against me, asking for a divorce and separation of property. can you believe? i made him what he is, and that’s how he thanked me.

it took us years. the little girl was born, i visited her every two months so i could take some things, you know? i loved babies. i love the idea of raising something of my own. i hoped jim would have some with a nice woman, so i could be around and pamper them like they were mine. i got cute dresses and toys for her, but then she would get out of my arms and i’d go back to screaming at her father and her mother, those fucking idiots.

the girl was three or four when jim realized he couldn’t be a father. big fucking surprise. if he was meant to be a father, god would have made me pregnant in a better moment that the one he did, you know? not to to fucking punish me. we didn’t divorce, but we got to a deal about our shared property. he came back home, spent months apologizing. i didn’t mind much. i hired a nanny i could trust and would send the woman to venus so she could come back with the girl every three months. i made him call the baby, sent pictures, would play for her. when she got older, this phase every girl goes through, she didn’t want anything to do with us anymore. couldn’t blame her, but we had nice times together. after the teenage turmoil was over, she slowly came back again. mostly talks to me. i adore her. it’s just a shame her parents are such idiots.

we had some nice, tranquil, boring years after that. jim had girlfriends, another child. this one turned 18 a few years ago. isn’t it weird how men can always have children, don’t matter the age? at least he didn’t have as many as dash.

i had girlfriends too. nowadays i date this beautiful tall woman, she is british, all grace and poise, named adeline. blonde, obviously, that’s my type. she has showed up before, she is the only helping me making those collages since brooke died, so i won’t forget history. i will die soon, so i won’t take much more of her life. she is sweet, but can be very feisty. she was born after the reunion happened, so it’s funny to me to tell her how things were, remember things in the process and see how shocked she is by everything. she’s such a sweetheart. adeline gave me some good last years.

that’s where we end. it was a pleasure to mayhem with you. hopefully, for the last time. ❞

@gllianowens

[random-iz-stuff]

Incorrect quotes, now in text form instead of images:

==============================

Zim: If you elect me as president of the United States, I will personally burn the constitution on my first day in office.

Dib: Then what?

Zim: Funnel all the defence budget into building a time machine so I can go to the past and fight the Beatles.

Gaz: Change we can believe in.

==============================

Dib: You think being gay is hard??? Try telling people you’re only attracted to clowns.

Zim, without hesitation: Narcissistic ain’t cute Dib.

Dib: …

Dib: …

Dib: …

Dib: There’s literally no possible response I can make to this where I come out a winner. I’ve actually never been owned this hard before. I think I legally owe you money now.

==============================

Red: I just realized that not everyone can fit their fist down into a Pringles can. How do y’all survive?

Tak: I rip the can open with my teeth.

Zim: Raw strength or scissors.

Tenn: Pour it into my hand and then lick it up like a dog

Purple: I just realized that not everyone can fit their mouth around a Pringles can.

Skoodge: Smoke it like a giant joint.

Red: Damn y’all live like this?

Gir: I eat mine like a spider.

Red: WHAT. DOES. THAT. MEAN.

==============================

Dib: The person that invented hummus really was just like: “Man fuck these chickpeas *beats the shit out of them*”

Gir: I’m gonna invent powdered toes.

Dib: Honestly I don’t know what that means but I feel like you should go to jail.

==============================

Gaz: Is Zim okay?

Zim: Sometimes I get the overwhelming desire to eat two thirds of a brick.

Gaz: What do you do with the other third?

Zim: Feed it to my robot brother.

==============================

Zim: whos granny smith where shes getting all of these damb apples.

Gir: fun fact! granny smith is nabed aftr marea am smift frugh huh dibrack blarn eat showegh whale snert yargh hugh mort B.. ..b……hhngh… .. .. .…. … . ………… j

Zim: eeach day i learn some more ! :) thank you for the share

==============================

Zim: Just watched Shape of Water and like. Damn. She literally flooded her whole apartment for that fish dick.

Dib: Frankly it’s just like that sometimes.

Zim: It literally isn’t and I’m concerned.

Dib: Coward.

Zim: Fishfucker.

==============================

The Control Brains: We will make eye contact with you and connect to the wifi in your brain and delete half of your memories and make you left handed.

Zim: But I am left handed. And I already have a poor memory, so good luck finding anything worth deleting.

Zim: WAIT A MINUTE

==============================

Zim: Dirt.

Gir: mmmm… …tasty..

Zim: The D in dirt stands for “do not eat this please”.

Gir: But the I R T stands for “It’s really tasty”

==============================

Zim: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million monies?

Skoodge: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Tenn: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Zim: Good thinking!

==============================

Tak: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it

Zim: Just rip the bandage off.

Tak: It’s Tenn.

Zim: Put the bandage back on.

==============================

Zim: We need to get through this locked door. Skoodge, give me your credit card.

Skoodge: Here.

Zim, pocketing it: Thanks. Tenn, kick down the door.

==============================

Zim: What do you think Tenn will do for a distraction?

Skoodge: She’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Skoodge: ... or they could do that.

==============================

Gaz: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Zim: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Dib: Smad.

==============================

Zim: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Skoodge: Wasn't Tenn with you?

Tenn: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

==============================

Recap Kid: Remember! Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!

[talkaboutthatfilm]

10.05.23~ Wednesday

WHY I LOVE ALMOST FAMOUS (2000) - A Film by Cameron Crowe-

I think it would be most appropriate if I debuted (if you will) talking about one of my favourite films, though that title shouldn’t have a hefty weight to it. I fell in love with this film a while back, in a moment where the soul craved an escape into a 70s rock scene, & it landed in the best place. Last year, I watched this film- & I wish it was an exaggeration- around 50 times. Whenever a pick me up was needed, I sought it out. Why? That’s what I’ll talk about now~

Where to start? The favourite thing is easily the music, all of it just fits into place. It is elevating, & gives you such a good taster for what that era had to offer, especially to someone who might not know a lot about the 70s but wants to learn- the soundtrack is highly recommended. For those of us who already know a bit, it was a nice toasty reminder of the best songs that fit into each mood of the film, & reminded you to just slip those songs back into your playlists. Easily, if the music doesn’t feel like your vibe, I feel like the film kind of slips away a bit, but stick with it! I think there is something highly beautiful about the characters that I’m going to leave you to discover, because tbh, I don’t want to talk about them all. However honourable mention to fringe guy (Ed) who spills his guts on the shaky plane, I got you babe, Sonny & Cher style. Also holy mother of fuck! The amount of just amazing actors in this film…where do I begin? Kate Hudson, Billy Crudup (he is also in another favourite of mine; 20th Century Women- maybe I’ll write about it; we won’t mention Alien Covenant…), Patrick Fugit (love his surname), Anna Paquin (honourable Trick ‘r Treat mention?), Zooey Deschanel (who’s that girl?), Jason Lee (I don’t have to mention his career), Philip Seymour Hoffman, Frances McDormand, bloody Jimmy Fallon, Fairuza Balk, Noah Taylor (submarine man), Rainn Wilson, Eric fucking Stonestreet just showing up outta nowhere, same as Nick Swardson (bowie!!!) & Susan Yeagley (you have a good day) just casually being there for 2 seconds. Ok I’ll stop geeking out for no reason, it’s just exciting!

I think I’m gonna just dive in. This film is special to me because of the way it changed me. I always daydreamed this idea of what I wanted to be like, & then I saw Penny Lane for the first time, & I watched in awe, because she is everything I’ve always wanted to be. & it made me realise that nothing is stopping me, I can be extroverted & talk to people. It doesn’t cost much to open yourself up like that, & to be honest her character isn’t perfect, she is flawed, but in the ways I am, which reminded me to be more gentle with myself, & also it puts everything into perspective. Penny is lonely, she is “surrounded” by people, but in reality none are there for her, she is there for everyone. When it comes to shedding this persona she has crafted, no one wants to hold the girl underneath it all, apart from William, who is the only person who genuinely loves her. She to others is a means of time-passing entertainment, while she?- a young girl who’s influenced, falls in love with everything, she is incredibly perceptive & though she acts tough, she gets heartbroken & falls apart like all girls do at 16, she was a victim of a power-play relationship; we could deepen on that, but at the moment I want it to be surface level, this was the 70s, & it was incredibly common & not spoken of, all hush hush. I think the most heart-breaking scene to me is her birthday scene, this is cut out & in the extended versions, but to sum up: it’s right before the ‘what kind of beer?’ scene, & the façade is coming to an end, everyone is getting ready for the next adventure, & Penny doesn’t know where else to go. She just assumed she’d be with Russel, & as she cuts more cake & asks anyone if they want any more, everyone starts quietening around her; she practically asks a void, then loses her voice, & the dawning reminder that she has to start leaving enters her mind. She half smiles through this whole realisation, but you can see her heart start to crack under it all. She was just a pawn in their game, they knew this, let her think otherwise, & it just reminds me of all those times of suddenly feeling like the place you knew so well wasn’t shaped for you anymore, & you start to outgrown it, or more, it starts to outgrow you, & you lose your footing. I think this scene changed my perception of Penny’s character for me a lot. Initially watching the film I star-gazingly watched her, but as I got older & paid attention to the small moments that valued a lot in her character, I realised her whole act is just that, an act. & there’s a frightened young girl who wants to also be just as loved as this Penny Lane, Lady Goodman, & she is the true person who is only ever shown to William. I do want to mention, I don’t think William or Russel is a fit for Penny, I think, though William’s love is more authentic, he is young, & regardless of if he realises, he won’t benefit her much. I do think he loved her for herself rather than what she could be for him like Russel does, but I think Penny needs someone who isn’t involved in all of that rock n roll life. Last thing to mention with Penny Lane naturally is her clothes, I’ve also purchased an afghan coat that I wear every winter, & it makes me live out my best Penny Lane dreams. But I’ve read a LOT about what the costume designer (Betsy Heimann) has said about how Penny Lane’s clothes were fashioned. & I read a lot about how the coat was more than a coat, it symbolises her ferocity & strength when it’s on, a shell, without it she is wearing not much material, she is bare, & that is the real Lady Goodman underneath it all. However I will say I love that the fur on the coat is actually an Urban Outfitters rug that has been dyed a ton. I wish I could have that coat…one day.

I think we have to talk about William, doy. I think I also relate to him a lot, I also think he & Penny are so much more similar than he realises, because she is living in the world he wants to, but she is just as much an outsider, it’s all about how you present yourselves in those environments. William is playing us, the audience, he goes through the same motions of awe & admiration at this incredible life that happens on the road, it’s jolly & warm in the beginning, he is excited to be a part of something at first, not realising he doesn’t fit in with their views of the world, as Lester Bangs states, he is ‘uncool’, which he feels (we could argue that then means as the audience that we too are uncool spectators of their lives just like him; important to consider that Cameron Crowe wrote the film basically about his life as a rock journalist, so his POV is our POV). What even does ‘cool’ mean to each & every person? Something different, I think it’s not such an argument to make about William’s coolness, but instead to consider what the rock n rollers think cool is, which is themselves, William is a dorky guy who does journalism & carrier a tape recorder around with a notebook glued to his palm. Things to consider guys. Aside from his outside not fitting in (maybe a mullet would fix it?) he also actively stands outside from what they are doing, because he is there to watch them, but you can feel that sense of wanting to be them by the way he looks at them. I think I like William’s character because I also think he goes through the different stages of being with musicians, it’s so cool at first, as Lester Bangs says, ‘they make you feel cool’ & like he is their friend, but he is not. & I appreciate his innocent & honest outlook on all of it, sometimes he kind of seems like the kind of person who is at the wrong place at the wrong time, he just is there as a stepping stone, then gets used up like Penny. I will be honest, I don’t know much to say about William now, maybe because I left it for a bit & came back so my train of thought on William has strayed. But also, he is 15, & so I don’t really know how to judge a character as much when they’re half-baked as people (not half-baked characters- 15 is just so young, you’re so unfinished). I rather just appreciate his views, & that he doesn’t let them corrupt his innocence as much, unless you account the band-aids all sharing the room with him…

I think without a doubt, the best & most overlooked character is Lester Bangs, he says some things that just always light up my perception of everything. He is an incredible character. We don’t know MUCH about him personally, though he is a big music connoisseur, so maybe that really is all he is. But the scene with him in the café with William (lol also at the ‘I don’t have time to sit around & talk to my many fans’), he says something I think, if anything is to be taken from this film, it is this line: ‘be honest & unmerciful’, go headstrong into the world, be soft when the moments call, but if you’re honest & open, then you’re doing something right (with moderation of course). I think so much could be said about this great film, & to be honest cutting it short to this feels unfinished, maybe I’ll add stuff on later as it goes on. But I think it’s something everyone should really watch when they need to be taken away. It’s an easy film to follow, & I think it will mean either too much to some people, or others won’t find it a necessary watch. Whatever floats your boat?

I highly doubt anyone will see this, I am writing to clear my mind which is always so full of words. I watch so many films all the time, & I love to talk about them. Having an open space to just call out into any abyss (which is better I know nothing about where this is going to) feels like conversation enough. I’ll maybe write more, but in reality I just need to push forward & see how I can articulate my words in a better format & way, but for now. Diary entry style should work for me. That’s all. Thanks spooky!

P.S. I am more of an avid horror film fan, but I can be diverse!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Sugar, Sugar 15

[FIFTEEN/END]

MASTERLIST

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape, violence, mean sugary Steve

This is a dark! sugar daddy! Steve fic. Obvious AU so please keep that in mind. :) That being said, it will be an explicit fic (18+) with noncon. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

(This chapter: violence, threats, fear  :O)

Series Summary: The reader is struggling in the big city but find opportunity before her. Will she take it?

This Chapter: The wedding day approaches but not everything goes to plan.

Author Notes: So this is another series wrapped up after a grueling two years, haha. Sorry y’all.

Please let me know what you think, like and reblog <3 love ya

🍭 🍭 🍭

The floor length mirror was trimmed with twisted gold. You stared at your reflection as your shaky hands pressed against the front of the ivory dress. The cut hid the small bump but you could not forget it. Ever since you confessed, it all happened so fast; the wedding was pushed up, the dress tailored and expedited, and invitations sent out in a rush.

It all felt surreal. The day had come but you just couldn’t accept it. How could you go through those doors and smile through it all?

You closed your eyes and let your breath out. They would knock when it was your time. Your father would be waiting to walk you down the aisle. The guests waited eagerly for the most talked about ceremony in the city. And you still felt like just a footnote in your own wedding.

You moved away from the mirror and sat unsteadily, gripping the arms of the cushioned chair, careful not to catch your veil under you. That night you told him, that was the final straw. But you didn’t forget what Sasha said. You took a picture of the broken door and wrote down the entire scene. You sent it to yourself in an email as proof.

That wasn’t the last time. You recorded Steve one day when he came in as you were texting your sister about the new date. You hadn’t answered his last message about your first appointment with the doctor. He was livid and you sat and listened to him rant as the red dots pulsed. You wrote down every instance, every time he made you appease him, every terrifying word.

Then there were the police reports. Nothing more than words in a filing cabinet but the night he choked you was just the beginning. He threatened to break your finger when you took your ring off because your hands were swelling. Then he broke your laptop when you didn’t pay him enough attention. 

As the wedding loomed closer, he only seemed to get worse. He was clingy, always touching you, marveling over your stomach. He checked in almost every hour on the hour when he was working, and you weren’t stupid enough not to notice that the building was being watched.

It was like you were living two lives and yet you were entirely trapped with him. What good could the emails do? Or the reports when the police wouldn’t act on them? You were going to marry this man and that would be the end of it; of you, of your life.

Knuckles tapped on the door and you stood. You crossed the room and inched it open the door. You flinched as you were met by an unexpected and uninvited guest.

“Sasha?” you gasped.

“You’re marrying him then?” he held the handle but you didn’t try to close the door, “the account gone, I heard nothing from you.”

“I… I’m scared,” you admitted, “when he found out, I thought he was going to--” you shook your head. He wouldn’t actually kill you.

“You know it’s not too late,” Sasha urged.

“You can’t be here, it he finds out, he’ll--”

“I’ll defend myself,” Sasha snarled uncharacteristically, “I’ll give him what he deserves.’

“No, I don’t want you to get hurt. You need to go,” you begged as you glanced past him furtively.

“I will. Come with me,” he said, “just go. Everyone’s distracted, they won’t know--”

“I can’t just leave. You don’t understand--”

“No, you don’t understand,” he argued, “if you marry him, it all gets so much more complicated. I told you that day at the café. It will be harder to fight after the vows, but right now, you can still get out.”

“And go where?”

He swallowed and looked down the hall. You could hear the distant murmur of the crowd.

“Did you do any of it? Keep a journal? Something?” he asked.

“I tried. I went to the police but nothing,” you sniffed and gripped the door tight.

“Nothing yet but that’s a start,” he chewed the inside of his lip.

“Why are you here? Why is this so important to you?”

“Because I can do something,” he hissed, “because I can’t live with it if I don’t. So come on. Come with me, I got a bigger place. It’ll have to do for now and then we’ll work on getting you standing, getting the baby somewhere to grow--”

“Am I trading him for you?”

“I’m your friend,” he said evenly, “that will never change. All I want is you safe. If it makes you feel better, I’ll sleep in the hall. You can lock me out and I’ll sleep against the door. But I came down here knowing I wouldn’t leave without you.”

“It’s a sweet fantasy but--”

“Come on,” he grabbed your hand and pushed the door open, “please, don’t go with him. It doesn’t end well. You don’t get out. It doesn’t get better.”

“I have nothing,” you quavered.

“You have me,” he said, “please don’t make me walk out of here alone.”

“I….” you uttered as your heart squeezed. “He’ll come after you.”

“Good, I want him to,” he clung to you, “please?”

You inhaled and heard the voices. Your father and your sister. You had no time to think but you knew it was your only chance.

“Let’s go,” you lifted your skirt and pulled the door shut behind you as you stepped out, “now.”

He held onto your hand as you rushed away from the voices and skirted around the corner. Sasha urged you on down the back stairs and through the maze like halls of the extravagant church. You nearly tumbled down the stairs and he caught you as you came along the narrow passage beside the main room, the guests and groom just on the other side of the wall.

You came out into the sunlight and Sasha lifted the train of your skirts as he directed you over the grass. our heels sank into the dirt as you rushed over and the organ began to play Here Comes the Bride. As he helped stuff the swathes of fabric in behind you in his modest car, the music stopped suddenly.

He closed the door as you were squished in the back seat amid your layered skirts and he got in the front. The engine turned and he nearly side swept another car as he pulled out without looking. You peeked back behind you but saw no one coming down the large steps of the church.

He turned the corner and sidled in behind a yellow cab. He looked at you in the mirror and nodded. You bit your lips nervously as reality sank in. Your chest hammered and your entire body buzzed with adrenaline. You knew it was only the beginning.

🍭

The day passed in a daze. You sat in your wedding dress waiting for all hell to break loose. Sasha sat with a beer, silently, and tapped his foot endlessly. When the silence was too much, he turned on the television but neither of you paid any attention to the old sitcom.

When the trance of disbelief dissipated, he showed you around his spacious loft. He was being paid well by Stark but you worried how long he would stay on the payroll after what he’d done. Steve wasn’t stupid and there were more photographers at the church then you’d seen collectively over the last year and a half.

“This is the second bedroom,” he showed you into a room with gleaming windows. There was a bed, a dresser, curtains, a cozy rug, all carefully selected, “I thought you’d be here sooner.”

Your eyes lingered on the box leaned against the far wall. A crib.

“Didn’t know how long…” his voice trailed off as he followed your eye line, “I’m not trying to be him. You can go anytime but I… you have a place here.”

Your eyes welled and you blotted them with your knuckles, the rough lace of your gloves scratching your cheeks, “you did all this for me?”

“I told you, I’d do anything,” he said.

“But… Sasha, I don’t--”

“I don’t expect anything from you. High school was a long time ago but you made it bearable for the biggest dweeb in the class.” He sighed and paced a circle around the room, “you know, I had the biggest crush on you. That doesn’t mean anything now, it doesn’t mean I want you to fall into my arms, but it means I want to help you. It’s the right thing to do, somehow I made a career of doing the right thing so what’s one more?”

You felt your chest sink and you covered your cheeks with your hands, “Sasha?”

“Please,” he cringed, “I was a teen boy, I think I had a thing for Oprah once. Really, it’s just… we’re friends. We’ll always be friends.”

“I can’t…” you sniffled and dropped your hands, “I don’t deserve any of this.”

“He doesn’t deserve you,” Sasha intoned, “and you don’t deserve to live like that. I know this isn’t much but I know you. You’ll find your way, you just got a little lost.”

“I…” you shook your head speechless.

“We’ll figure everything else out tomorrow. You can borrow some of my clothes for tonight and then we can see about retrieving your things from Steve,” he neared the door and stopped beside you, “or we can say fuck it and you can start all over.”

You turned and slung your arms around him. You buried your face against his shoulder as tears spilled out onto his jacket.

“How did you know?” you sobbed.

“That day at the shower,” he rubbed your back gently, “you know, lawyers learn how to read people and you never were very good at subtlety.”

“No,” you chuckled through your tears, “No, it’s why I was great as a bard.”

“Mmm,” he grumbled, “if that’s how you remember it.”

🍭

It felt like Sasha was gone forever but when you checked the clock, it had only been twenty minutes. 

You sat on the couch with your feet under you as you watched the news and rocked nervously. All anyone was talking about was Steve Rogers’ runaway bride. Your face was everywhere and the statement issued by Steve made it all the worse.

He painted you as a gold-digger, as an adulterer, as a swindler. He was the heartbroken fiancé and you were the wrongdoer. You knew it would go this way but expectation never softened reality.

You flinched as the lock turned and Sasha entered with a bag in hand. He came to the couch and set it down beside you.

“I don’t know about my taste in women's clothes but those should do,” he said as he checked his watch, “we should go soon.”

“Yeah,” you stood and opened the bag to reveal the lavender blouse and dark jeans, “you really didn’t have to--”

“You kidding, he’s gonna be surrounded by cameras. You can’t win his game if you don’t play it. I’ve dealt with his type before, they’re the ones who need lawyers on standby,” he sneered, “did you eat?”

“Yeah, thanks,” you swiped up the bag and headed for the hallway, “it was good.”

“No problem,” he shrugged as he grabbed the remote and shut off the tv, “and ignore all that nonsense.”

You got dressed and emerged as your anxiety grew to impatience. You left the apartment in brittle silence and the car ride fed the uneasy bubbling of your stomach. .

As you came up to Steve’s building, you sat for a moment before you got out. Sasha followed and shoulder away the cameras as you neared the front door

The elevator moved slowly and fidgeted uncontrollably as it dinged on Steve’s floor. You swallowed and braced yourself to face Steve. Sasha kept a few feet back as you walked down the hall and stopped at the door. You knocked as you found it locked.

It was a while before it opened but when it did, you were startled as Steve grabbed the front of your blouse and wrenched you inside. He spun you but quickly released you as he was knocked off balance and sent sprawling over the floor. Sasha stood above him with his hands in fists.

“Hey,” he pointed at Steve then looked at you, “you okay?”

You nodded as Steve glared between the two of you and cautiously got to his feet, “so you brought your little boyfriend?”

“She’s here to get her stuff. We thought we’d avoid a police escort, as her lawyer I thought it prudent, but we can always make that phone call,” Sasha said sternly, “she is entitled to her possessions.”

“Her stuff? I paid for every single thing she has to her name. Hers? Mine.” Steve spat and reared on you again, only to be caught by Sasha as he inserted himself between you.

“You will not touch her again. Those things you bought for her were gifts. You have no legal rights to them once they are given. She will take her clothes, her phone, and any other necessities.”

“Pfft, she’s not taking anything. She’s not going anywhere,” Steve growled, “she not yours--”

“I am certain the photogs would appreciate a show,” Sasha pulled out his phone, “police? That can only be a domestic dispute.”

Steve squinted and his nose flared as he looked at you over Sasha’s shoulder, “fucking slut.” He crossed his arms and stepped aside, “get your shit, get out…” he hissed, “but I have my rights too. You will not keep me from my baby.”

“That will be settled in court,” Sasha replied coolly, “go on, get your things.”

He waved you past him as he kept you shield from Steve. He was of a height with Steve but not as broad. Even so, you felt safe behind him. You rushed down to the bedroom and quickly gathered up your toiletries and those clothes you didn’t absolutely hate. Your phone screen was shattered but you took it anyway.

As you emerged again, a bag slung on your shoulder, you slid the ring from your finger. 

“You can keep the rest,” you said as you placed the band on the small round table just inside the front room, “goodbye Steve.”

“Goodbye? Goodbye?” he spat, “this isn’t the end and you fucking know it.”

“Calm down,” Sasha warned.

“You don’t tell me what to do,” Steve shoved him, “I should fucking smash your head in--”

“I’d like you to try,” Sasha stood his ground, “really. You think the court would let a violent man be around an infant?”

Steve scoffed and rolled his eyes. He backed down and shouldered by Sasha. “Get the fuck out.”

You left quickly. You had no desire to hang around. As you stepped onto the elevator, Sasha softly touched your elbow and you winced. The bag fell to your elbow and he quickly scooped it up and heaved it over his own shoulder.

“You okay?” he asked.

“No, I don’t think so,” you said, “he was so angry. I--”

“I was stupid, we should’ve brought the police. Fuck the cameras,” he said, “from this point on, no contact with him whatsoever. Only through me and the court. No talking to reporters, no nothing.”

“Yeah, that won’t be hard,” you uttered as he led you out of the elevator. 

As you came outside, cameras flashed and voices called out. You collided with Sasha as he was blocked by a photographer shouting questions, “is it true you’re pregnant? Is it Steve’s?”

“My client will not be answering questions,” Sasha kept on and made a path for you, “go, she’s not answering any of your questions.”

He elbowed past more cameras and opened the car door for you. You fell inside and quickly huddled down in your seat. As he sat behind the wheel, he mumbled and pulled out into traffic. He gripped the wheel tightly and pushed himself back into the vinyl.

“That asshole,” he said, “he’s gonna want the paternity test. This isn’t gonna be pretty.”

“I can’t… he fucking told them. I mean, I’m not surprised but… god,” you grimaced.

“We’ll get the test done before he makes a formal request,” Sasha said, “it shows transparency and when we hand over those results, we’ll include those police reports too.”

“Police reports?” you blinked.

“Sorry, I… It’s a suggestion,” he said tersely, “but he’s going to make this a trial by media.”

“No, no, I want to,” you said firmly, “I want everyone to know the real Steve Rogers.”

🍭

‘I was just like many struggling in the city. I worked a low-paying job in data entry and lived in an apartment which was little more than a box. The dreams of the big city were passing me by as there was little opportunity to be found.

Then I met Steve Rogers. Like a dream or a Lifetime movie. I was in debt, I was desperate, and he offered me a safety net. I can own my part in the relationship; I was interested and I accepted his generosity. I was all too happy with the arrangement.

That was until I found out that it was all based on a lie. I didn’t know that he had access to my accounts even before I knew him, that he had used his connections to force me into that dire situation. And I could not know the real man behind the billionaire façade.

It was little things at first. Any woman loves to feel wanted but his possessiveness soon turned to control. He kept me isolated from my own family and did not permit me to do anything without his permission. His affection turned to obsession and when it was not reciprocated he forced it from me.

He took me on vacation and did not allow me to wear clothes. He chose what I wore, how I looked, and what I did. He coerced me into acts I was reluctant about, and when he was too rough, he did not listen to my pleas for him to stop.

When I tried to leave him, he followed me and dragged me back. He had me watched by PIs and surveilled all my communications. He used his financial power to control me and when that did not work, he used his physical power.

Steve Rogers abused me. He yelled in my face, he threatened my family, and he choked me.

Steve Rogers raped me. He expected me to bend to his will whenever he desired and when I refused, he held me down and did what he wanted.

Steve Rogers took my whole life and when I chose to leave, he set his eyes on the life inside of me. 

The only thing I want from him is freedom. I want to live safely with my child and I want that child to never experience the abuse of their father. I never want anyone to know that horror again which is why I have written this and released the police records. I am not asking for anything but peace for me and my unborn child.’

The statement was carefully edited by Sasha. You reread the font across the glossy pages of Vanity Fair, the article spliced with excerpts not only from the police reports, but your own emailed accounts of your relationship, and the whole thing began with an image of that broken bathroom door.

It was two months since you ran away from the altar but life was not a romcom. It was a disaster. Even with the article, you knew not all would believe you. You knew it would open you to doubt and vitriol. And you knew Steve would have a response.

You closed the magazine and groaned as you rubbed your hips. Freedom didn’t feel so… freeing. There was a long way to go; court dates, doctor’s appointment, and depositions. But it was a start.

You rested your hand on your stomach and pushed on the arm of the couch as you stood stiffly. When you were halfway up, you felt a hand on your elbow and Sasha helped you stand straight. You smiled guiltily. You’d grown a lot in the last few weeks and still had nearly four months to go.

“The reviews are good,” he said, “I know that is kinda grim but… people seem to believe you.”

“Seem to?” you echoed as you went to the kitchen and pulled out the container of sliced strawberries, “or they don’t?”

“Well,” he leaned on the counter as he watched you add too much cream to the berries and smiled, “Stark Industries has cut ties with Shield, Inc. and Tony has made a sizeable donation to several shelters across the city,” he cupped his chin coyly as he leaned on his elbow, “and will be covering legal costs for the support hearings seeing as I can’t legally represent you anymore.”

“Oh,” your mouth fell open before you could spray some cream onto your tongue, “when were you going to tell me this?”

“I’m telling you now,” he crossed his arms as he shifted them further over the island, “I thought I’d give the good news first.”

“And the bad?” you put down the can of cream as you neared the marble across from him.

“I have several requests for interviews and I think you should do at least one,” he said, “I know you hate reporters and all that but… with a little Rogers baby on board, it’s just another part of the process.”

“Oh, and what should I tell them,” you edged around the counter towards him, “that I moved? That I found someone better?” He turned to you, his lips curved as he leaned in and you turned your face up to peck his lips, “or maybe I should tell them I’m single? Keep the intrigue?”

“As long as you tell them I’m handsome, I don’t mind,” he purred as he placed his hand on your side.

“Oh, how could I leave that out?” you cooed and kissed him again, “patient, loving, kind… but what a geek?”

“A geek?” he smirked and framed your chin with his hands, “says the dungeon master.”

You giggled and ran your hands up his chest, “someone’s gotta raise this little bard well.”

“Oh, no, no, she’s not gonna be a bard. Maybe a cleric?”

“No way! That’s lame,” you chirped, “how about… a sorcerer? Ours is a bit lacking.”

“Excuse you,” he quipped, “what was your AC again? Maybe next session I’ll run out of healing spells.”

“See?” you taunted, “geek.”

You drew him to you until he was pressed to your belly and he swept you up in a kiss. You rocked with him as he turned you against the counter and slowly parted.

You squeezed his wrist as you went back around to your strawberries and cream. You took a spoon and scooped up a mouthful as you slid your phone towards you. Sasha stayed as he was, watching you scroll through the emails and piled up texts.

You stopped as one blared in all caps. There was no name, only ‘Private’. You opened the conversation and found a dozen bubbles; ‘THIS ISN’T OVER’, ‘HE CAN’T KEEP YOUR FROM ME’, ‘CUTE, YOU THINK PEOPLE BELIEVE YOUR SHIT.’ Another message blipped up, an image and you dropped your spoon as it opened.

You saw the picture of your sister and her son. You shook as you put your hand down on the counter and choked on the cream.

“What?” Sasha reached over and turned your phone to him, “Shit,” he sighed and blocked the number, “he’s just stacking the evidence against himself.”

“I--” you blinked as tears boiled behind your eyes.

“You don’t need to be afraid,” he screencapped the conversation, “this just makes the case even easier.”

“No, I will always be afraid of him,” you said as you touched your stomach, “it’s not just about me anymore.”

“And it’s not just you anymore,” he took your hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb, “we’ve been through worse. If we can get through a cave full of orcs, we can defeat Steve Rogers.”

END (or is it?)

[hmspogue]

Outer Banks season 2 Official Trailer shot-by-shot rundown

A comprehensive post where I scream about analyze the entire trailer frame by frame for clues, theories, and plot. Just my own opinions and general tin foil-hatting

These are screenshots from Netflix’s trailer for Outer Banks season 2. I do not claim or own any of these.

note: this post is tagged as a long post if you wish to avoid having to scroll until your thumbs break.

“My old man used to tell me, ‘it’s best to never say you’ve hit rock bottom’.”

(Putting all of these shots together since they’re scenes we already know but-) Holy shit, okay let’s just....start off like this I guess, damn.

“'Trust me’, he said...”

Kiara looking back and forth between the boys like this really just feeds the headcanon I have that her form of grief this season is going to be her trying to hold it together for their sakes (and eventually just snapping).

JJ just looks fucking furious someone give these kids a hug? I already know this scene is going to ruin me.

“You can always go...”

JJ back working at the hotel. He looks literally so angry again in this scene I could see him self destructing at work and losing his job? (Please do not be isolating yourself you beautiful son of a bitch even though I know you’re going to).

Pope in the Twinkie (costuming wise they all are in warmer looking clothes for some of the shots, so just confirming it’s a little bit into the school year when this all takes place).

“Lower”

Big John was real big into pep talks, I see. (seriously can you imagine Big John having this conversation with like 8 year old John B after he fucking dropped his ice cream cone or some shit I shouldn’t be laughing).

I’m just-

These poor kids, I wanna know how the police all the way down in the Bahama’s knew about them?

Their calves....

“RUN!”

Are going to be so fucking jacked by the end of this season I stg.

Fuck you.

“The gold from the Royal Merchant....it’s here.”

For a while, I had thought that maybe they didn’t even make it to the Bahama’s at the front of the season and ended there (because everyone had been filming in there). But I guess they’re going to be making two trips.

If I were a bird from this POV I’d shit right on that house no questions asked.

oooooh ho hokay. Just so we’re clear. Ward Cameron not only get away with murder and about two dozen other felonies, but-

“Half a billion.”

HE STILL FINDS THE GOLD IN THE CRAIN HOUSE AND GETS TO KEEP IT?

Not the polo with the snap back, I just know this man has a playlist called Sad Boi Hours that is just Juice WRLD’s top 5 songs on Spotify and he tells his friends they wouldn’t know the underground artists he listens to.

Sh, you have lost screaming privileges. Go inside and take a nap maybe.

“John B, we are fugitives in a foreign country.”

So, previously, I was talking about how I was confused how they would still be trying to find him is everyone thought he was dead, but here the wanted poster clearly says “presumed lost at sea”. I think that will be interesting to see how the Pogues all interpret that. 

Especially because they already had a memorial for John B and everything, I wonder if there will be any part of the Pogues holding out hope that they both could still be out there OUCH.

I’m going to circle back to this, but it looks like John B and Sarah are going to get separated for a little while in this man hunt, I could see my idiot himbo son trying to sacrifice himself so Sarah can get away but in reality just....stranding her.

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid?”

Oh, sweetie....

“Well, Sarah Cameron, I do stupid things all the time without realizing it.”

The volume of his self awareness is astronomical. sir, that is your whole character summed up in your own words.

GOD, IT’S ME AGAIN. PLEASE LET THEM LEAN INTO COMPLETE HIMBO JOHN B THIS SEASON I’LL DO ANYTHING-

nyyooooOOOOOOOOOOOOM-

“Hold on!”

The complete abject terror I would feel having John Booker Routledge driving get-away and then saying the words “Hold on” while reaching fro the gear shift? The english language fails me. 

Sarah, bestie, I’m so sorry.

I just wanna know-

what the plan or objective was in this situation. What was the reason for being this dramatic.

Rest in piss, bozo <3

“Ward’s still out there...”

Okay, same conversation they were having as before. I wonder what makes them decide they need to get back to the OBX for this tho.

“I can clear my name. This can all be over in one shot.”

It looks like Topper watching this but way more concerningly, correct me if I’m wrong but this 100% looks like....John B gets caught. And the DEATH PENALTY?! He did have a mug shot for the fliers in s1 and the one above but he was never brought in? Plus he just looks super dirty and dishevled in this one so I-

Jail break anyone?

I also still want to know if they’re going to go with a Topper redemption arc this season. like, does he know more than he should just from being around Rafe and his big fat mouth? Is he going to help out the Pogues even if it’s just for Sarah?

This shot just suddenly made me really sad. The thought of this all started because Big John left one last thing for his son to find, his literal life’s work. And when it all started, it was just a fun adventure John B and his best friends were going on together and having fun with. Then it all got dragged to absolute shit and turned into what it did, including the remaining 3 Pogues thinking that this treasure hunt took their two best friends away from them. And it’s nothing like Big John intended it to be.

Why my eyes wet?

Now we’re edging into what I was talking about earlier with John B and Sarah getting separated.

“If you think there is anything I wouldn’t do...”

Once again, John B is no where to be found. Also, just in case y’all didn’t already know or forgot Ward is an actual psychopath.

I believe this one of the new character, played by Jontavious Johnson (Stubbs). Based on the voice over it lowkey sounds like they’re implying Ward maybe hired Stubbs and Cleo to find and bring Sarah back. My theory would be I bet they do go to retrieve her, but she somehow convinces them that it would be more beneficial for them in the end to be on the Pogue’s side instead.

Miss Girl you gotta be keeping your head on a SWIVEL. Especially when you’re a FUGITIVE of the LAW-

“...you haven’t been paying attention.”

My guy, who are you clarifying this for?

It’s what you deserve for monologuing.

in all seriousness, the idea of them coming to face to face with Ward in Nassau after thinking they finally escaped him is genuinely terrifying.

“SARAH!”

It kind of looks like they’re either hiding their faces or covering their noses? I don’t know maybe it was from some tactic to get away from Ward.

What did I literally jsut say about yelling privileges, you unhinged mother fucker?

“I’m calling the shots now. I’m driving.”

The following progression of scenes made me actually snort-

“I can’t drive stick.”

PLEASE THE FINGER GUNS LAUNCHED ME INTO ORBIT I LOVE THEM, YOUR HONOR.

Alright, so now it looks like we’re in Charleston. This is the same scene with Heyward’s truck that got leaked from BTS (read: JJ and Kie shoulder touch).

One of the main things that stuck out to me in the following scenes which, you will see, is it lowkey looks like Pope is kind of heading up this part of the operation, or even going in alone? The following clips are just very Pope focused. 

I don’t know what it means, it’s just an observation.

“John B was not the only one that Ward double-crossed.”

LIMBRY-

Bro, we have been hearing about this woman for literal months and I just have....so many questions? 

Who the hell is she? How is she connected to Ward? Why is she in South Carolina instead of the OBX? How do the Pogues even learn about her and how to track her down? How is she meant to “help” them? GAH I JUST WANNA KNOOOW. I already know I don’t trust her though and no I will not be offering up supporting evidence.

Sir, that is my son please unhand him.

“I think you know what I want.”

.......no? But feel....free to explain yourself?

The print on the paper is the same one that’s on the ceiling tiles in the following scene. Obviously, with a key on it that most likely goes to the place a few shots from now.

Hell yeah, son, let’s get SLEUTHING.

“The treasure belongs to the Pogues.”

DAMN STRAIGHT.

Bestie’s I’m not going to lie, I stared at this frame for a solid 10 minuets and I have no idea what it says on there I’m sorry. Someone in the comments is welcome to enlighten us.

“We gotta find it first.”

I can’t tell if that’s just dirt or if he hurt his head? But he look GOOD right now for one thing. For another, same outfit as the one in the Twinkie from the beginning of the trailer.

Look at her. LooK AT HER! LOOK! AT! HER! I MISSED HER SO MUCH even in that damn smiley face top that continues to haunt my waking hours she is in it so much and it stresses me out for literally no good reason I’m sorry-

I could literally cry right now and I think that speaks volumes to how little we actually see him genuinely happy. Have I mentioned how much I love that red hat?

Also, probably not that important, but this is not from the same scene as the shots of Pope and Kiara were. This is from the next one-

“Woogity-woogity?”

“Give me some woogity, baby!”

Yeah, this pushed me over the fucking edge, the way that they’re actually happy and laughing? The fact that they kept woogity-woogity and made it A Thing? Yes.

I am, however, going to be intentionally ignoring what appears to be the very intentional stagingof having such an obvious space between where Kiara and Pope are sitting adn where JJ sits, even including the level they’re sitting on because I don’t have the emotional capacity to face those implications right now. Thank you for your time.

Yes yeeeeEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

GIVE ME ALL OF THE SCENES OF THEM ACTUALLY GETTING TO BE TEENAGERS AND JUST BREATHE AND LAUGH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME AND NOT BE RUNNING FOR THEIR FUCKING LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!

before Rafe comes in and literally starts shooting because they can’t breathe for more than 7 seconds but we’ll....get to that.

They refer to Sarah as a Pogue this season or I burn Netflix to the ground. Your move, Jonas.

50 bucks says John B is driving the Twinkie again for the first time since being back.

I deadass think the Pogues JUST got Sarah and John B back and they’re just having the time of their life. Kie was in her smiley face outfit when Pope was in this one a few clips ago, and I still hold to the belief that that one still they released of JJ and Kie hopping over a fence is the Pogue reunion so-

Ward? I have no idea what he’s looking at behind the wall paper and I’ll be so honest I don’t care my eyes are only seeing Pogue content right now.

“This is a map of the whole island.”

This fit, when will John B learn how to operate buttons, stay tuned for season 5. Also my previous theory of this being their reunion outfits and stuff because Pope is in the back in the same jacket as before.

The plot thickens and so has JJ’s hair, Rudy drop the shampoo brand.

Please, dear God, tell me they’re back in the sex church. For @jiaaraa sake.

Kiara, your Madison is showing.

Okay, I really did try but all I can make out is Something to the tomb begin something something.

You’re welcome.

I am no expert but I do not believe boats operate on land.

John B looks like he is in the same outfit here that is in his mug shot we saw on the TV screen so I have a sneaking suspicion this is where he gets caught. 

“John B is back-”

Once again with the damn sexual tension that’s always between Barry and Rafe in every scene they do are we about to kiss right now?

“-it’s him or me.”

First of all, no.

Second of all, I’m just....so very confused about this time line this season. It kind of looks like Ward and Rafe follow and find Sarah and John B in Nassau (unless those scenes by the truck were actually back in the OBX). So did they....go to Nassau, then just come right back when they did? I’m just confused.

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.

Literally when will you stop at this point I am begging you. 

This looks like the same scene the Pogues were, ya know, literally just having a good time at so fuck me, I guess.

Yeah, no, it’s going to be a no from me, I’m just going to pretend like I’m not seeing this and moving on.

I have simply no idea what is going on here or who that is on the bike but maybe JJ? Maybe Luke even? I think that’s JJ’s bike. 

The sewer scene. The SEWER SCENE-

For months sicne that tiktok leaked this damn scene has been genuinely all I could think about. So (obviously) it seems like they’re sending Kie down into the sewer to go do seomthing and things go horribly, horribly wrong. 

If you haven’t seen the tiktok, essentially all it was was JJ and Pope screaming and trying to lift up the man hole cover while Kie is begging for them to hurry from inside. I’m cheating a little bit as this isn’t a shot from the trailer but this picture was posted and it’s from the same scene.

I’ll just....leave this here. Back to the trailer shots.

Nice. Also, same shirt as mugshot.

Hey, um, what? 

Kiara’s car, she’s driving, I can’t tell who’s in the back seat or the front.

Holy God what is going on and how can I as an audience member put a stop to it?

So, same scene as we will see and was in the teaser but, for some reason, they’re all jumping off of a giant ass boat into the little life raft where it looks like JJ gets hurt later but don’t you worry we’re getting to that.

JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE THEY BOTH LOOK SO DAMN GOOD AND THEIR LITTLE SMILES SPARE ME-

Cleo 🥵

I’m so excited to see her arc and what it brings this season you guys have no idea.

Please for the love of God be about to get Ward Cameron’s ass like he deserves literally punt him into jail right from Tanny Hill.

Sarah at My Druther’s with what looks like a bloody bandage on her side? Same outfit she’s wearing when they’re running from the police on the beach and she has the bandage there too so. Interesting. 

Topper hugging who I’m pretty sure is Sarah, being a general douche because he’s clearly looking at John B like 😏 

Clips like these serve to remind me just how many of my worldly posessions I would gladly give up to be able to punch Topper Thorton in the throat one time. 

I think this is Cleo jumping off the boat with Pope after John B and Sarah. 

Absolutely busting a lung at Pope’s form in this one.

John B and Sarah waiting in the life raft, still Cleo and Pope coming after them. The obvious next question is where are JJ and Kiara. The scene I’m sure you all have been waiting for is coming up and clearly takes place in the life raft as well.

So, I really think JJ and Kie get left for last, something horrible happens as they’re trying to jump (my head instantly goes to JJ maybe like pushing Kie out of the way and getting hit on the head instead or even just some accident). 

And, oh my GOD a scene of him falling off the boat after it happens and Kiara diving in after him immediately, having to desperatly try to stop him from sinkingand get to the life raft holy shit-

Girl CATCH HIM?????

Because why wouldn’t this be Rafe’s fault. Part of me wonders if this isn’t related to JJ being hurt.

I am going to try and unpack this as calmly as possible because behind my computer screen I am vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass but respectfully.

WHAT IN THE FUCK IS TIAUEWFHLAILA

Okay, so scene wise, JJ’s hit his head somehow (probably while he was jumping with Kiara) it looks like and now they’re back on the raft. 

In my opinion, this is either:

A) JJ is in really, really bad condition after getting hurt in the jump and they’re not sure he’s going to make it. So this is a “Please stay with me, stay awake, please don’t die” hug OR

B) They very narrowly just avoided a deadly situation (my first thought is JJ hits his head while jumping, passes out in the water, maybe almost drowns but Kie and the others get him onto the life raft in time) and this is more of a “Oh my God, you’re okay, you’re safe now, we’re okay” hug. 

I honestly lean more to the second one based on the little bit of Sarah’s face we saw in the background. To me, it almost looked like she was smiling thru tears, which, fits way more with the second option than the first. 

Anyways. Moving on before I burst a lung again.

(also, before anyone comes at me, no, I’m not happy JJ is hurt, obviously.  

(Once again, arrest outfits). You can still see the bandage but it looks like Sarah’s limping now too so...good Lord give the girl a break maybe?

Everything in this trailer just went to shit so fast I think I have whip lash, can we go back to the Pogues hanging out and being happy now pkease I liked those scenes.

“I get it. You guys are scared.”

“No.”

She’s cute but, uh, hello sewer scene outfits. Seems like them planning to do whatever the hell they were going to do in the sewers but the boys are starting to get cold feet as maybe they should but hind sight is 20/20 I suppose.

“It’s kind of cute.”

“I’m not scared.”

“You should’ve just led with that.”

I will never be able to express how much I adore Pogue banter and general dumbassery and I have a feeling this season will not be lacking in either department

I high key don’t think these two are actually going to be there for this scene to go down but I’ll let it slide this time because-

They do be kinda cute.

It both feels like I’ve been waiting for this damn show for 3 years and also like I just watched season 1 last month explain that to me. 

Either way holy shit. I missed this dumb show and these dumb kids so much it physcially hurts and WE GET THEM BACK IN T-MINUS 16 DAYS.

Also. Where The Hell Is Wheezie Cameron And When Will She Have The Rights She Deserves.

[a-jynx]

Expensive Taste

Excerpt; Gambling with your past is bound to piss you off...

Warnings; Strong language, drunks, threats, blood/broken bones, hint of sexual tension(?), tell me if I missed any warnings!

Pairing; Quackity x reader, female pronouns

[ Male vers. / GN vers. ] [ Part 2 ]

a/n; I hope you guys enjoy it, this was a lot of fun to write! And biggest thank you to @kxrmitty for editing this for me! <3

~~~~

“So, what happened this time?” Foolish sighed, walking alongside Karl and Sapnap. Karl nervously giggled.

“I wasn’t, uh... I wasn’t paying attention and a creeper snuck up on me.” He sheepishly grinned, rubbing the back of his neck as Sapnap snickered, growing quiet as Karl elbowed him. “I’m sorry about taking so much of your time, Foolish. I’ll pay you handsomely though!” The curly-haired man flashed a toothy grin, making Foolish chuckle.

“No, no it’s alright! Besides, I needed to come and speak to you all about the cherry blossoms you wanted added in,” the tall God trailed, motioning for the pair to follow. “I was thinking about adding some further out - y’know showing where the land could begin,” his voice trailed as the wind blew up, causing Sapnap to squint before watching as a crumpled sheet tumbled from Foolish’s pocket. The Blazeborn scooped it up, straightening it out before calling out. “Hey! Foolish! You lost-'' his voice died as he scanned across the sheet, his brows creased as he slid his thumb across the bold, red letters “Las Nevadas'', followed by smaller black letters, “meet tonight’s main entertainment that is sure to rock your world!” His lip turned into a frown as he glared at the dull white, focusing on the letters at the bottom signed BQ.

“Las Nevadas..? BQ..? Oh, shit-” he quickly crumpled the flyer into his own pocket, rushing towards his fiancé and friend. “Karl, I’ll be back! I forgot I needed to go help George with something!” The raven-haired man rambled off, pressing a quick kiss to the brunettes’ cheek before retreating backward and giving a quick wave as the two watched him disappear before returning to their conversation.

“Is Sap always that… Rushed?” Foolish snickered, looking back to Karl who frowned, his brows knit tightly together. “Karl? You alright?” The totem God asked, patting the brunette’s shoulder making him jump.

“Hm? Oh, uh, yeah! Yeah, I’m fine! Let’s get this finished and get to work on those cherry blossoms!” Karl grinned, moving ahead of Foolish, who quickly followed and yet hadn’t seen the look of hurt flash across the fiancé's face.

~~~~

“So, this is where you’ve been hiding..” Sapnap huffed as he stood in front of the towering entrance. Black stone and quartz stood tall as he moved closer, eyes glazing over each block, each light, each flyer that looked identical to the one he retrieved. The bright neons flickering and buzzing with life, even in the late afternoon sun, welcoming him even with the eerie feeling breathing down the back of his neck.

Striding up the steps, he watched as other patrons followed through the large doors. Excitement and sudden thrill-filled his veins as Sap was pushed and maneuvered into the chilled foyer. People pushed and shoved around him, taking off towards the games or towards the sitting areas where a few girls walked through, their clothes bright and alluring while shimmering from the pulsating lights. It felt like a dream..

“First time?” A soft voice called over the roar of the crowd, catching Sapnap’s attention quickly as he moved towards the desk.

“Uh, something like that.. What the hell is this place?” He laughed, shock evident in the wispy breath.

Niki smiled, sitting up more as she flicked some of her pink hair out of her eyes while turning towards the crowded floor. “Las Nevadas is a country that Quackity made, he made this for people to come in and just leave reality for a little bit. He built this place to be safe- no judgment, but no idiocy either. The Casino is one of the biggest organizations right now and I know Mr. Quackity has some big plans for Las Nevadas, so I’m excited to be a part of it.” She explained, tilting her head back towards Sapnap as he blinked.

“He built this?” He blinked again, a huff passing his lips. “Like - Like Big Q, our Quackity, built this place? Not just this, but an entire country?” He flabbergasted, causing Niki to curiously glance at him.

“Well, he wanted to make a good place? I mean from what I’ve learned about Mr. Quackity’s past, he deserves this.. I mean, he’s worked hard! He deserves the happiness returned after giving so much for others to feel happy, don’t you agree, Sapnap?” She flashed her teeth, the small bits of glitter shimmering and shining on her cheeks and nose as he gulped, flashing a quick grin back.

“Everyone deserves happiness, sure, but.. Should it really be at the expense of the people he loves the most?” He scoffed as Niki knitted her brows together, leaning onto the desk as Sapnap frowned.

“I believe you mean loved - past tense, Mr. Halo.” She grit, shifting to sit back down with a huff. “His office is up the stairs and down the hall, I don’t think you’ll miss it.”

Sapnap glared for a moment before moving towards the hallway and disappearing into the neon basked way. Perhaps he’d get answers, or perhaps it’ll be even more heartache…

~~~~

The dark oak door came into view, the fluorescent neons highlighting the cracks and dents as he gulped, feeling the sweat build-up and trickle down from his forehead. Standing there, he frowned as he heard voices coming from inside, the commotion getting louder with every second passing.

“Sir, just give us a few more weeks-” A voice quivered as two laughed, one causing flashbacks to a sweeter, easier time and the other causing a shift in Sapnap’s gut.

“I have given you an extra three weeks! I think that’s plenty of time to make up your side of the bargain.” The second voice coughed, yet you could hear the snarled grin behind it. Sap leaned closer towards the door, lifting his hand and wrapping it against the dark oak. Pushing it open as the room goes silent for a moment.

“Uh.. Hope I’m not interrupting?” Sapnap coughed, standing in the doorway as Quackity cleared his throat, standing from his desk with a crooked smile.

“Sapnap Halo! Long time, no see.. And allow me to finish this up and we can visit.” Big Q sapped, clicking his tongue as he turned his attention back towards the quivering man. “If you’re not willing to meet my demands, then I’m no longer in charge of what he commits..” The scarred man sneered, leaning against his palms as the man shook.

“Sir, please I just need-” a hand shot up, silencing him.

“You’ve had enough time. I’ve given you enough time. I have no control over what he chooses to do with your town, Mayor Liek.” Quackity chuckled, a maddening grin splitting across his face as Sapnap frowned, taking a step back.

“I can come back later-”

“No. He was just leaving.” Big Q grit, his eyes shift towards Punz, who steps out of the corner. “Punz. Escort him to the foyer, I’m afraid he’d get… Distracted.” Punz’s lips split into a grin as he stepped towards the man, clasping a hand on his shaking shoulder before dragging him out of the dark oak chair.

“Of course, Q.. Wouldn’t want him to get lost among these walls.” The blonde snickered, tugging the Mayor towards the door before shoving past Sapnap, flashing the bandana wearer a toothy yet sickening smile. Sapnap stood there, shock evident on his face as he watched the doors close behind Punz. He turned his head back towards Quackity, who settled back into the large leather seat, his hands folded in front of him.

“Sap, please sit.”

“Uh, nice place you got here..” Sap gulps, his gaze continuingly shifting around the room, taking in the pulsing neon lights, the dark oak desk that the dark-headed man sat, and two large windows behind him, showing off the casino floor and it’s patrons.

Quackity breaks into a sly grin. “Thanks, it, uh… It cost me some pretty rings.” Sapnap’s gaze moved back towards his ex, his brows furrowing. His eyes snapped towards Quackity’s left hand, eyes widened at the sight of ring-shaped tan lines.

“What?” He barely uttered, his fingernails curling into the dark oak chairs’ arms. His lips curled into a snarl. Quackity frowned, standing with the roll of his eyes. He stepped around the desk, his fingers grazing the few glossy playing cards on top. “Listen, an.. Extravagant life like this?” Quackity gestured around them, breaking into a large, prideful grin. “It doesn’t come cheap.”

“So, you - you sold our engagement rings?! Are you fucking serious, Big Q?” Sapnap snapped, standing abruptly. Quackity’s smile fell, his hands falling to his sides.

“Why would I want to keep memories of the people who abandoned their own fiance?! You must be living in fucking paradise, pal, because the moment you began construction for Kinoko was the day you chose I meant nothing.. Why would I want to remember that?”

Sapnap stared at him, eyes wide and lips parted before scoffing. “Who the fuck said you meant nothing to us - let me remind you, you walked out on US.”

Quackity squinted his good eye, tsking. “I was making this for us. I was making somewhere safe for our futures together and you assumed I left before I was even gone.” Silence swelled over them, each daring for the other to continue their verbal assault. Sapnap’s mouth opened, only to shut when the doors slammed open revealing a disordered Punz. He gulped loudly before straightening up, running a hand through his blonde hair.

“We have a situation.”

~~~~

“Sir, please,” Charlie sighed, rubbing a napkin across his forehead as he glanced down at the multi-colored cards sitting in his green, shaky hand. “The private dances are to be made upfront at the receptionist desk. You can pay forward and ask Niki, the said receptionist, to call upon the girl of your request.”

“Well, I’m requesting the one right there,” the drunkard slurred towards the girl on the stage. Her hips moving to the upbeat, organ-moving music thumping through the surround sound speakers. Glittering eyes darted towards the pair with a sneer, glossed lips pulling into a pout. Strutting around the metallic pole, she clicked her tongue before wrapping her dominant leg around, keeping a loose grip as she spun, her eyes catching on the pair below her.

“Sir, I understand that you want to request her, however, she’s not available for private dances,” Charlie uttered, clearing his throat. The burly man coughed out a laugh, suddenly leaning into Charlie’s space, flashing his gnarled teeth before spitting. “I can’t understand you when you mutter.”

Charlie flinched as the saliva landed on his face. He cleared his throat, using his napkin to wipe away the alcohol-stained spit. “My apologies, sir,” The slime kin spoke. “What I said was she’s not taking private fucking dances.”

The man flashed a mean grin, his hand shooting out towards Charlie’s collar, wrapping it into a tight fist and lifting him to where his shoes barely grazed the carpet. Charlie’s slimy hand shot out, wrapping around his assaulter's wrist as a whimper left his quivering lips. The man’s unoccupied hand raised as if to strike Charlie before a voice above them called out.

“Excuse me,” the dancer chimed, towering over the two males with a fierce grin. “Can you pretty please drop my little slime?” The man scoffed, dropping Charlie to the carpet with a grunt.

“Oh, so the little whore DOES have a voice! How intriguing.” The man laughed, stepping over Charlie’s trembling body, leaning against the stage where his dollar bills still laid. He reached out to scoop up the ones closest before a glittering maroon heel stamped into the top of his wrist, trapping it against the polished black stone stage. The man cried out, his free hand snatching her ankle, glaring up. “You little bitch! I’ll fucking kill you!”

She furrowed her brows, clicking her tongue before glancing around the casino floor - everyone was watching. Her eyes darted down to the hand on her ankle before shooting back up to his beat red and sweltering face; she scoffed.

“I could say the same about you.” Yanking her leg free before rearing back and slamming her heel into his nose, blood splattering onto the dollar bills and the finely polished stone. “Next time, I’ll charge you extra for wasting my time.”

~~~~

“There’s a situation on the floor,” Punz murmured as Quackity sighed, glancing back at Sapnap, who had yet to leave, before turning back to Punz.

“How bad is it?”

“Blood was spilled.” Quackity’s eyes widened, sneering. “Fuck.. Alright, Sapnap, you need to leave. I have some business to attend to. Don’t let the door kick you on the way out.” He waved off his raven-haired ex before quickly following his second-in-command down the hallway. Sapnap grew wide-eyed only to race after them, quick to complain.

“Like hell, I’m leaving! I don’t care what kind of business you have, Quackity. We’re not done discussing-” he stopped as both the males ahead stopped and turned towards him, causing him to sputter.

“We have nothing else to discuss, Halo.” Quackity spat, staring at his ex - the one who promised him the best future. A future of love, compassion, and safety. He was left to pick himself up and put himself back together. He stared, and stared, and stared before turning and continuing down the hallway. Punz stood there watching Sap for a moment before following after Quackity, this allowing Sapnap to silently yet swiftly follow behind the pair.

Quackity strode across the floor to meet with Purpled and Charlie to discuss the events that took place. His eyes landed on Charlie, who looked shaken up, Purpled offering him a drink. “What the fuck happened.” He sighed as the pair looked at Big Q and his right hand, along with the tail.

“Ace got into a fight-”

“I fucked up and Ace stepped in,” Charlie quickly jumped in, sniffling as Quackity frowned.

“How’d you fuck up, Big C?” He asked carefully, lips twitching into a frown as he squatted down to meet Charlie’s eyes.

“I.. I read the card! I read it just like you and Niki showed me, but he - well, the guy didn’t like that and I think he drank too much and he - he was an angry drunk..”

“C, you’re monologuing..”

“Sorry.. He grabbed me and tried to hit me, but Ace stepped in..” Charlie sighed, shifting his attention to the floor as Quackity nodded, standing straight before glancing at Punz.

“Where’s the dickhead?”

“Already taken care of. Waiting for a private session with Big F.” Punz snickered as Big Q nodded, grinning slightly as they looked up to meet the glimmering eyes of Ace herself.

They both nodded towards her as she stepped into the booth, tossing a bloodied tissue onto the tables’ plastic cover before scoffing. “I need new heels now.” She grits through her teeth, crossing her arms over her bust.

“Of course, Princesa, anything for our main attraction.” Quackity clicked his tongue, grazing his fingers across her bare shoulder before resting at the base of her neck; a comforting touch. She grinned, her lips sparkling under the lights. She reached a handover, resting it on top of Charlie’s with a gentle pat.

“Are you alright, Lil Slime?” She whispered, giving his slimy hand a firm squeeze as he shot her a comforting smile.

“I’m okay, thanks to you, Ace.” His toothy grin caused her to smile widely, gently leaning forward and pressing her stained red lips onto the back of his hand. “We’re a family, Slimy! We’ve got to look out for one another.”

Quackity’s fingertips scraped up her shoulder, reaching up and tucking a loose hair behind her ear, his finger catching the dazzling earring and watching it glitter. “So, Mi Carina.. How loud was the crunch of his bone beneath your heel?” His bottom lip caught between his teeth as she turned towards him, a shit-eating grin spreading across her lips.

“You should’ve heard it, Quackity! I think I scared Purpled.”

“Because you did, Sparky,” Purpled scoffed, knocking a rag into the bloodied tissue and into the bin in his hand. “And Big F is gonna have your head for that blood on his stage - y’know he doesn’t like spilled blood.”

“Well, security should’ve been on the floor,” Ace sang in a sing-song voice, as Punz snorted before stepping around Sapnap, who blinked at the group, his gut twisting as he watched the exchanges.

“I had my best guys on the floor! Besides, I was helping the Bossman.” He spat, no real threat behind it as he moved to lean against the wall next to the booth. Sapnap took a step closer, causing them to shift their gaze to him.

“And whose loudmouth?” Ace snorted, followed by Charlie, Punz, and Quackity with their own chuckles.

“Uh, Amada this is-”

“Quackity, I didn’t come here to meet your side piece or whoever this fucking is,” Sapnap spat, stepping closer and leaning onto the table, making Purpled and Charlie glance at each other, Punz’s brows furrowed as Quackity grew quiet, holding his gaze with the black-eyed Blazeborn.

“I came here to talk about us. And I’d rather not discuss any of this in… Mixed company.” Sap finished his piece, straightening his stance as Quackity stood, his lips pressed into a crease.

“Like I said before, Halo,” he spat the man’s last name, bumping their chest together as Sapnap’s mouth curled into a frown. “We have nothing to discuss. There is no us, and obviously, there never was an us. And this ‘mixed company’, is the best thing that’s happened to me, and if you, or anyone for that matter, tries to come in here and ruin that?” Quackity snorted, leaning close and pressing the pads of his fingers into Sap’s shoulder and shoving him back. “I’m not responsible for you not returning to your little kingdom.”

Sap stepped back, sneering at Quackity while glancing at the others - they all shared the same confident stare. Huffing, he licked his lips before nodding, coughing out a laugh. “I don’t even recognize you, Quackity.” Punz suddenly snickered, causing Sap to turn towards him with a frown. “What the hell are you laughing at, Blondie.”

Punz coughed, halting his laughter before pushing off the wall, now moving closer as Quackity took a step back, holding a smirk of his own.

“I’m laughing because you don’t recognize someone else and, yet, you’re going after an ex. I mean, it’s a little funny, along with a little sad, Sap.” The blonde grinned as he took a step towards Quackity, as Sapnap frowned. “What the hell are you talking about Punz?”

A scoff came from behind the two, making Sap move to look around them as Ace scooted out of the booth, standing beside Quackity whilst shaking her head. “I think you’re right, P.. I think someone’s memory is being influenced by his fiance.”

“How the hell-”

“What? Don’t remember me? That’s a little harsh, Sappy! Bad wouldn’t be happy about this one.” She giggled, leaning further into Quackity as Sap’s eyes grew wide before shooting towards her collarbone. A gnarly and pale scar sat across the thin skin, standing out from her soft tone. An accident that happened back in the Nether - he hadn’t meant to hurt her.

“Y/N..?” His voice was barely about a whisper, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes as she shot him a short, soft smile. Taking a step towards him, he suddenly stepped back, his face retorting into one of disgust. “What the fuck happened to you? You.. Oh, God, you look like a whore-”

“Sapnap,” Both Quackity and Punz growled as Y/N shook her head, taking a step closer with a smile.

“I may look like a whore, but at least I’m a loyal one.” She spat, turning back towards the two men as Sapnap arched a brow, scoffing.

“What the hell is that supposed to..” His voice trailed, his eyes switching between both Big Q and his sister. She pressed herself into his side, wrapping her arms around Quackity’s shoulders with an award-winning smile. “Mean… Are - Are you fucking dating my ex-fiance?!”

Y/N broke into a small grin, leaning close to Quackity’s side and pressing a chaste kiss to his scared lips, his arms wrapping tightly around her waist, keeping her pressed against him as she spoke, “well, Dad always said I had… Better and more expensive taste, Sappy.”

~~~~

Tags: @aphroditeandvenus-blog, @paintingportrait, @sourdoughnoodles, @mult1xtr1nna, @trashpiegon, @trixyvixen, @sxturn-0, @thescoutsb13tch, @banghaydencoven, @707xn, @supernaturalboi, @basementfloorfeelings, @june-x-boi, @aloookay,@dreamzluvrr, @theforestcryptid926, @fantasticpurseturtleknight, @cheesysin, @kxrmitty, @socially-blue, @excuijme, @lonley-nightmare, @kittenachu, @alleyesonmendes, @itsoakaa, @saifukus, @alec-lost-bee, @nattsaa, @dayanavmb, @boiciph3r, @leenthepanda, @0a-little-bit-of-everything0, @howdycharlie, @joinotfound, @coreys-riffin, @fa1ryclouds, @honeyimluctus, @tittylover6000, @noctis-yeye, @kiritokunuwu, @novelist2, @sn3k-was-here, @traumatizedladybug, @weepinghollywoodatsupernatural,

a/n; I hope you guys liked it, i have more ideas for this fic to possibly continue so let me know if that’s something you’d like to see! Requests are open as of now and I will hopefully be posting more hc’s/ imagines later on!

Until tomorrow, I hope you have a beautiful day! ~ J

[forthehpfanboys]

could you do some blaise zabini x male! reader and reader is a sibling of one of he golden trio?

Fuck yes, the tensssiiooonnnn!!! I seperate it into each one because I couldn't decide-

§×§×§ §×§×§ §×§×§

-Being A Weasley-

So, evenyone is shocked that your even near a Slytherin, especially your brothers and sister.

They know you can protect yourself. They know your strong and independent.

But they're all ready to rock Zabini on his ass if he even thinks of hurting you.

Fred and George will ask if your under some sort of spell or love potion.

Ginny is interrogating Blaise and Ron is probably shunning you.

Once Ginny finds out how much Blaise really likes you and that this isn't some booty call that'll break you emotionally, she relays the info to your brothers, who back off.

They learn to actually like the idiot, which is shocking to many members of Gryffindor AND Slytherin.

Anyway, so if you ever sneak him into the Gryffindor Common Room, expect teasing.

Like Ginny is singing a love song, Fred and George are making kissing noises and Ron is just gagging.

And constant teasing-

"Oh, Blaise~ I'll love you until the sun goes down~" "Fred, I will castrate you." "We can skip into the sunset together while holding hands~" ".. For fucks sake, George."

But in the end, Blaise kinda asked for this. He should've know, honestly.

Blaise learns to love the big family dynamic though.

Like if he gets harassed by McLaggen for his quidditch skills, the twins are there for back him off.

He is now an honorary Weasley and it comes with perks.

He bonds with Ginny through quidditch, helps Ron with his potions and actually buys stuff from the Twins shop, but then he's like "I wanna meet the rest of your family"

So of course your nervous, but he gets along with the 5 of you just fine, so what's 5 MORE people?

Like when he comes over to meet Molly and Arthur and he's treated with love and respect, even if he's a Slytherin, and even if everyone's worried he's gonna be a little snobby about the Burrow's shape and condition.

But when he says he loves it and he's touching the brick walls and going up the stairs very carefully to enjoy the creaking, everyone kinda just goes soft, especially you.

He has to hide his tears when Molly hugs him goodbye. And after that he's constantly asking to come back.

Basically, you soften him up, everyone loves him and he stays at the Burrow so often he calls it home.

But he meets Charlie, Bill and Percy and they manage to hit it off and their just proud their younger brother found someone who makes him happy and they love Blaise.

-Being A Potter-

Harry is thanking Merlin it isn't Malfoy.

He couldn't even describe how pissed he would've been if it was Malfoy.

Even the idea of seeing the smug ferret every day made him gag.

However, he still wasn't very happy that you were dating a Slytherin. He probably ignored you for like a day or two until finally confronting Blaise.

Yes, he used Ron and Hermione as backup to try to seem strong and powerful.

He wanted to make sure Blaise actually felt something for you and he wasn't just using you to pass time by.

Once Harry realizes Blaise isn't as bad as the Slytherins he hangs out with and kinda realise they have some things in common.

Like how they both had experienced loss of at least one parent.

I don't wanna say they bond over it-

But it kinda gets them on track to like actually talking.

You know what I mean.

Oh, and of course they talk about Quidditch and that's his bonding point with Ron. So now you just have three quidditch fans basically yelling over eachother for who supports the better team.

Hermione's is potions but this isn't about them.

But it's really weird when you walk into the dining hall on that second day and see your brother and boyfriend joking with each other at the Gryffindor Table.

So you scurry over and check Harry's tempurature like "Holy fuck, my brothers sick" and he bats your hand away like "No, I'm fine dumby."

And you see Ron and Hermione actually talking to him and you it feels like your stuck in an ulternate reality or something.

So you just sit down between Harry and Blaise and he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer and everyone can't help but chuckle at your shocked/confused expression.

You were glad Blaise got along with your friends, and even happier he got along with Harry

But I know your brother sets up fucking rules about what you can and can not do.

"No sneaking out, no sneaking unto Slytherin's common room, no sex, no kissing in public, no laying in the same bed as him, no-" "Jeez, Potter, wanna leave something for us to do?" "... No calling me 'Potter'-"

We all know he isn't meeting the Dursleys, but he will come over to scare them, just for the hell of it.

Like if he goes with the Weasley's to go get Harry and Blaise doesn't hesitate to sass Vernon and drag Dudley through the mud.

Vernon blinking when he sees Blaise wrap an arm around your waist and he goes to say something but then he counds wizards vs muggle and shuts his trap for once.

Harry is so happy

He's now just like "YESYESYES MARRY BLAISE DO IT-"

But if Harry isn't the best man, he will hex Blaise.

-Being A Granger-

Hermione is, of course, protective of you. You're her brother, she loves you and wants you to be safe, happy and healthy and she knows who Blaise hangs out with.

Like Harry, she's just greatful it isn't Malfoy.

Or Crabbe.

Or Goyle.

She is constantly, CONSTANTLY asking if your ok and just overall checking if your actually happy.

She reminds you it's ok to put him in his place, if he needs to be.

In the end, she's just worried it's some ploy to drag you down.

Probably corners him with Harry and Ron and threatens the shit out of him if even thinks about laying a hand on you.

Like everyone around her is nervous and she's starting to raise her voice and go into full detail about how she'd like hex him into next Tuesday.

And he's just like "yes ma'am"

Blaise is a respectable man.

He's just sitting straight up and trying not to sweat as she yells and threatens him and Ron's just like "babe, ya good?"

"And I swear to Godric AND Merlin, if he ever comes to me saying you hurt his feelings, I will not hesitate to use the unforgivable curses, do you hear me?" "Yes, ma'am." "I'm serious, Blaise. I will not let you live this down. I will go into the Ministry just to make you cry!" "Yes, ma'am."

I love protective Hermione

But imagine Hermione using a word wrong and Blaise corrects her and they just argue over it for twenty minutes while you and Ron look at each other like "the fu CK"

So, I've said it before, but yes. Blaise and Hermione bond over potions.

Blaise talks about how he hates that Snape basically hands out good grades to Slytherins instead of making them work for it and that's kinda when Hermione realizes he's different.

They start bonding and become awkward friends. Of course, they argue occasionally. They do have some different views since Blaise is a Pure-blood and Hermione is a muggle born.

It's mostly about S.P.E.W.

She basically chaperones for all of your dates.

You guys could be going to Hogsmead and she'd make it a double date with her and Ron and it'll be dorky and weird, but at some point you two duck and run and avoid her and spend the day sneaking around and you guys have so much fun.

She let's up, of course, after Ron convinces her too.

You and Blaise keep sneaking around tho because it's so funny to see her turn red and start shouting about staying a specific distance apart and only holding hands and it's so funny.

But then Ron calls her a hypocrite and she starts going off on him and he just mouths 'run, quickly, go' and ya'll are sneakin' again.

Gosh, but Hermione honestly loves you two being together and just wants to keep you safe and everything.

And he's really, really awkward when he meets your parents, which is kinda funny because he's usually so calm and collected.

Long story short

Good luck with this one.

[ellieswhoreeee]

The Two of Us. pt 4

Author’s note; Sorry guys for being so inconsistent about posting guys! i promise i’ll do better but i was kinda distracted with a dina fic i’m writing🧍🏽‍♀️anyways this is the end, i hope you guys enjoy it! also i know this feels slightly rushed so i’m sorry for that :/

endgame pairings: ellie williams x fem! reader

warnings: swearing, marijuana, violence, ect.

ps: i’m still learning how to use tumblr when it comes to replying and doing other stuff so please give me time 😭

——————————————————————-

“I knew i’d find ya’ here,” Joel’s voice was oddly gruff but soft at the same time. He was loud enough for you to hear, even from the different distances. It was nice hearing his voice. You heard the rocks under his feet crunch together, making noise as he got closer and closer to your hiding spot. You were hiding in the tree house that was built into a large tree. The tree house was small but big enough for you, even though you built it when you were younger. It was surprisingly stable.

You didn’t say anything, and just stayed where you were. Hopefully he would think that you weren’t in here if you weren’t responding to him. “Kiddo, get down from there and talk to me. I ain’t gonna leave, so you can’t hide from me.”

You sighed quietly, and crawled towards the door- which in reality was just an old blanket that covered the entrance. You hated how noble Joel was. Your head peaked through the fabric. “Did Maria send you? Tell her i’m okay, i’m just sick.”

“Actually, i came here on my own. I’ve just… Noticed the changes between you and Ellie these past few days… I think if you could just talk to her-“

“Joel, this won’t get fixed by just talking. I fucked up this time.”

“What did you do…?” Joel questioned curiously. You looked away and decided to stay quiet as you clenched your jaw. Joel looked down at the ground awkwardly, noticing the look on your face. “I know y’all kids think i don’t know anything… But i’m not dumb. People talk… I’m just waiting for her to tell me so… whatever it is, i can guarantee that i won’t judge.” 

You bit your lip, and decided it would be better to talk to him. It was a little awkward when you first met but after continuously talking to him and hanging with him really changed that. He was one of the many people you were grateful for. You gave him a small smile. “I would invite you up but you’re kinda…”

“What? Too old? I’ll have ya’ know that i’m in the prime of my life.”

You bite the inside of your cheek to hide your laugh. “Fat. I meant fat, you would break the tree house.” You were joking, it wasn’t anything serious and he knew that.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yep.”

He hummed, giving you a mischievous smile. He then moved towards the tree, and started to slowly climb up the ladder without any hesitation. You retreated back to the spot you were in, and watched as Joel struggled to get in quietly. He then sat across from you. He was curious about the inside- it didn’t look as abandoned as he thought he would be. “Cozy,”

You laughed. “Thanks, i guess you never been up here, huh? You should’ve seen it when me and Ellie put fairy lights up…” Joel stayed quiet for a moment. You brought your knees up to your chest and let out a quiet sigh. “You know, she’d say something dumb like, ‘it’s Ellie and I’ or something.”

Joel felt like patting you on the back and saying ‘it would be okay’ but that wasn’t what you needed right now. You needed someone to talk to. He needed to be that person for you because of how much he cared about you and Ellie. “What happened?”

“You won’t judge me?” Your voice cracked at the question, and he could tell you were scared. He shook his head in response which made you feel slightly better. You covered your eyes with your hands in frustration. “Ellie found out that i… Have feelings for her.” Your voice was quiet, and he almost didn’t hear you.

He was quiet for what seemed like forever but in reality it was only a couple of seconds. “…And does she like you back?” He questioned in the softest way possible. You removed your hands from your eyes and decided to look at him.

“If she did we wouldn’t be up here…” You replied awkwardly.

“So… You two talked about it? And you’re certain that she doesn’t like you?”

You shook your head slowly at his questions. “No, i kinda just walked away before she could say anything… But i know she doesn’t like me because she’s-“

“Dating Cat.” Joel finished for you. He already knew about Ellie and Cat. Not much, but enough to know how they dote on each other. People talk, so mostly everyone knew about them. Joel was just waiting for Ellie to tell him, and she hasn’t.

You nodded. “Yeah. Dating fucking Cat.” You spat bitterly.

Joel sighed, and continued to watch you. He noticed a lot by just watching you. You were playing with your hands, almost as if you were trying to calm your down from the hurricane that is your brain. You looked pretty sad. “Alright, i’m tired of it. You needa’ stop moping. So, we’re going.”

“Where are we going?” You asked quickly and followed him down the tree house. He waited for you, and once you reached the pebbles on the floor he started moving ahead once again. All you could really do was follow him.

“Just follow me, kid.”

-

-

-

“No way! I can’t do this right now, at least let me get a drink or something! I need whiskey in my system before i can talk to her!”

You don’t know how it happened. You let Joel drag you around town- just so he could get you to let your guard down. His real plan was getting you to Ellie’s garage. He asked you to close your eyes and lead you somewhere- and that’s where you are now. Right behind his house, aka in front of Ellie’s door.

“What if Cat’s here? This’ll be really awkward and pretty messed up.!” He was dragging you by your collar now, just so you couldn’t run away. You hated how strong he was. He then knocked on her door, and your skin shivered anxiously. You didn’t want to be here. You weren’t ready.

“Sorry, kid. In life, you gotta face your problems one way or another. I’m just giving you a gentle push.”

“More like a forceful shove!”

“Quit your whinin’. You need this. Closure or whatever you kids are saying these days.”

“Joel!-“

The door lock clicking caught your attention, then the door opened slowly. It revealed a very tired looking Ellie. She looked up at Joel and then down at you in surprise. “Sup..?”

Joel nodded in acknowledgment. “Heya, kiddo. Just thought i’d drop this off.” He let go of your collar, and suddenly you were on the floor. He turned on his heel and returned into his house through the back door. Fucking Joel, acting like i’m some sort of package. You couldn’t help think as you sat there.

“Fuck me,” You muttered lowly to yourself. You couldn’t even look up at Ellie. You were ashamed. You weren’t planning on telling Ellie about how you felt. Especially when you didn’t know if your feelings would last long. “This was a bad idea, i’m gonna go.” You stood up and brushed the dirt off your clothes.

You were about to walk- maybe even run away if it weren’t for Ellie talking first. “I never pegged you as a coward.”

You sighed, turning back to face her. To finally look at her. You noticed the bags under her eyes, that she looked paler than usual and her voice sounded hoarse. Seeing her this way made you sad. “Ellie��”

“No. You won’t talk right now.” She stopped you from speaking further. Maybe you deserved that. “Avoiding me, ignoring me and running away from me whenever i’m near? That’s all the things a coward would do. And that coward is you, y/n. I never thought that you were that type of person… You always faced your problems head on.”

Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she was leaning against her door. It was the support she needed at the moment. Her words were hitting you hard. It was like a wake up call, just what you needed to get out from the hole you found yourself in.

But you also felt like denying her words.

You scoffed, and took a few steps back from her. You felt even more far away from her then ever. “Look, Ellie what do you want from me? You know why. Why can’t we leave it at that and move on. Never talk about it again.”

“Right, cause’ this is something we can move on from… Y/n, I need to hear you say it.” She pushed herself off her door and slowly moved closer to you.

“I’m not gonna do that.”

“Why? Are you afraid? I never knew you were such a pussy.” The way those words left her lips made it seem like she wanted to piss you off, to push you over the edge. Just so she could get your reaction.

“Fuck you, ellie… God, why do you need to hear me say it? You and your girlfriend are fucked up for wanting me to say it despite knowing already.”

She hummed, and continued to take steps towards you. “Are you scared? Is that it? Why is it that this conversation scares you but not a pack of infected…?” You scoffed, and didn’t say anything. You didn’t want to. She ended up being a few inches away from you. You couldn’t look up at her. You’re scared of doing something that you’ll regret. God, you wished you had gotten a drink or something. Maybe then you could at least blame it on the alcohol.

“What are you so afraid of?” She questioned in a whisper. Ellie wanted you to say it, she wanted to confirm that you actually liked her. She needed to hear you say it. Not insinuate it, but to actually hear it from your lips. That’s what she wanted.

Your eyes travelled from the ground and slowly trailed up her body. Your eyes lingered on Ellie’s neck, and then stopped at her chapped lips. Instinctively, she licked her lips as she continued to stare at you. You swallowed lowly, finally finding yourself looking into her green eyes. “I’m scared that you won’t like it.” Again, your eyes flickered to her lips.

“I will.”

For a split second you’re happy. But then you remember Cat. You frown, and decided to take a step back. “You’re with Cat- in love with her. That’s what you said, isn’t it? I may be in love with you but i’m not gonna let you cheat on her.”

Ellie pressed her lips together, a nod and small smile on her lips. “You’re a good person, y/n. That’s one of the many things that i love about you..” Your stomach did a flip, but you tried to listen to her next words carefully. You couldn’t be distracted by her sweet words. “I broke up with Cat. As fucked up as it is… I was only with her to try and get over you.”

“So, what i’m getting from this conversation is… You’re single?”

She laughed, and walked closer to you. “Not for long i hope.” She winked- well, tried to to. It was a pretty bad wink. But it was cute that she tried.

“I feel bad for the next person who dates you… you’re infuriating.” You whispered, watching and you and Ellie inched closer to each other.

She grinned, and watched and you closed you eyes. “You love it.” She paused for a moment, just to tease you before she finally brings your lips together in a sweet kiss. Her hands trail down to your hips so you could be flushed against her body. Your arms wrap around her shoulders loosely. She groans when you nip at her lower lip, then slides her hand under your shirt. God… you’re so enticing, y/n. Ellie was only thinking of you in this moment.

“Oi! Y/n! Ellie! PDA!!” Joel’s head popped out from the kitchen window as he glared at you two playfully.

“Right,” You pushed away from Ellie’s lips. “Joel knows.”

Ellie nodded, a smile on her lips as she continued to look at you. She was awestruck. She finally got to kiss you, to hold you and in the future there would be more memories with you. More memorable memories. “I guess he does.” She peck you on the lips and grab your hands. “You’re with me, right?”

You nodded, squeezing her hands to comfort her. God, you loved her so much. There is nothing better than being with her. You wished you had told her your feelings sooner, way before Cat. Maybe things could’ve been different.

But things are back on track for you and Ellie, and will be for a long time. Your gut is telling you everything will be fine. “Always.”

As long as you were with Ellie, nothing could go wrong.

-

end <3

[magicalsalamander]

Lacuna

Pairing: Jin ⇆ Reader

Genre: Law Students | Werewolf | Childhood best friends to idiot enemies to lovers | F | A | S

Summary: Lacuna(n): (1) In law, a non liquet (commonly known as “lacuna in the law”) is any situation where there is no applicable law. (2) An unfilled space or interval; a gap.

You are well equipped at handling whatever life throws at you. You had worked hard to erase the past and mold a new you, and the future were to become a lawyer. Well, everything was planned expect for your ex best friend who came back into your life like a crashing gavel. Just when you thought you could deal with his presence, he was now your partner on a case that was bigger than you had ever imaged.

Words: 21K

Warning: Mature; explicit themes, sexual content, and violence.  Lots of law inaccuracies. Alcohol and  club situations. Heavy angst with lots of arguing. Previous trauma of abandonment, harsh words and feeling unworthy. Knotting, cunnilingus, fingering, mentions of impregnation, soft dom Jin, marking/claiming, and possessive behavior.

A/N: It’s been so long since I’ve put out something! I want to thank everyone for being so patient and always supporting me! Thank you @heyitsmee2 for reading over this early on. I apricate you!

*Story mildly edited due to time constraint, will edit further 

| Masterlist | Copyright 2020 © by magicalsalamander. All rights reserved.

You were no stranger to the game; surviving and trying to be someone in the charade of corporatism.  It was all too important to be unemotional. You’d soon find yourself in Prometheus place than on the highest rock on Olympus if you let yourself slip and you were sure of your path.

Calculation leads to quantification—and it takes only seven second to make an impression.

Your throat narrows with altitude, but the breadth of your career expands.

The raspy voice of the jazz singer was a rich wine as she caressed the vintage microphone intimately. The soft notes of the piano and band follow in tandem with the slow, romantic song she sung. The dark golden hue casted over the ballroom from the multitude of chandeliers only perpetuated the elegance of the atmosphere. Parties like this were suffocating despite being in a room sized for a hanger. You wouldn’t doubt either than some of the patrons here own their own planes.  

You down the rest of your wine nearly rolling your eyes at the romantic lyrics. When you were a little girl events like this were a dream, places like this gave promise of finding a prince charming. At least that’s what all the movies feed you and lead you to believe would happen until reality set in. This event wasn’t romantic in the slightest. It was to celebrate the 70th anniversary of the law firm. The entire point of the function tonight was to schmooze and be seen. As an intern, this was prime time for you. However, you suppose you were living the dream, just not a fairytale. You had worked hard to get this internship, nabbing one of the four spots that over thousands applied to. You had done what felt like to be the impossible—coming form a school that wasn’t ivy made it all the more surreal. Important business people, old and new money mixed in with ‘top of the food chain’ lawyers were all present and hiring opportunities post-graduation. That is if you don’t end up getting a job post with the firm, but a smart woman always keeps her options open.

The obligatory greeting and sucking up to had already passed and it was the lull of time where everyone was wondering who would be the first to leave. Your senses go off as you catch a two of four making his way through the crowd towards you. Standing up as if you hadn’t caught glimpse of Logan from your peripheral. You smile at those who you had shared the table with, names already forgotten, number three’s included, silently bidding them an underserved excuse me. You grab at the bottom of your dress and move through the crowd. You miss the scrunch in brow from Logan as he picks up speed after you. He was the typical American type of handsome with brown hair, strong brows, square face, shadowed beard, lean and tall. Logan was nice, made his name memorable by persistence, but the guy couldn’t take a hint. How he’s made it this far has been a mystery to you.

As you break the crowd going into the hallway, you hear him calling your name. Acting as if you couldn’t hear him, you ask a server where the restroom was and quickly headed in that direction. He began jogging to catch up with you. Your pace began to pick up too. You counted down the seconds, four, three, two—the bathroom was still to far to accommodate for your sudden pick up in counting.

“Y/n! Wait, oh, sorry, excuse me.” Timely a cart full of new hors d'oeuvre blocks his path.

Seeing his distraction, you abruptly turned and head down another hall from the main meant for staff. You reached for the first door and to your muttered curse when it was locked. You jogged to the second door which opened and closed it behind you as if fire was at your feet. Not bothering to turn on the light, you backed up further into the closet until you hit something. You had expected to hit a wall, but instead what you bumped into what oddly felt human, a large one at that. When they oofed, you scampered away. Fear thickening in you as you rapidly apologized under your breath. Instinct dictated you get out, as you opened the door to leave the heavy sound of footsteps outside had you closing it right back. The person with you murmured a beginning of a question but you quickly reached up, cupping the mouth of whomever was inside with you. Shushing them they quieted up instantly. The slight stubble under your hand indicated it was a man. At this point you didn’t care if they were someone important. You winced as you heard Logan calling your name again. The man murmured a muffled question that you couldn’t understand and you shushed them again until the footsteps outside quieted.

Sighing in relief you removed your hand from his mouth, using the same hand to search for a light switch. With an apology on the tip of your tongue turning to face the stranger, you froze, staring back equally as motionless as him in shock.

Kim Seokjin.

Number four.

Dressed to the nines in a black suit that clung to him tightly. His broad shoulders were pronounced, and with his height tall he took a lot of space. His thick, dark hair was pushed away from his face. His eyes flashed red before it disappeared back into its espresso color. He looked gorgeous. You’d never utter that out loud, but you couldn’t ignore it either. It irritated you even more. He irritated you.

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” You drawled out the oh incredulously.

A smirk pulled at his thick lips. “Hello to you too.”

“I never knew you to be so forward, at least take me to dinner first.”

Looking around you realized you were in a janitor’s closet. The scent of bleach was thick, taking up as much space as Seokjin’s personality in the confined space.

“What are you doing here?” You asked while wiping the hand that was over his mouth on your dress not so subtly.

He shrugged, suffocating a laugh at your gesture. “Needed a break.”

That was hard to believe. Jin was a natural at talking to people. He made it seem easy. He always had this sense of composure and poise about him. Staring at eachother his eyes broke from your gaze as he looked you up and down. Suddenly feeling self-conscious you adjusted your dress. The black satin dress you were wearing suddenly felt tighter than when you put it on. Under his gaze you’ve always felt this way, vulnerable, but you’ve learned how to conceal it better over time.

“What?” You hissed at him when he still stared.

“This isn’t the first time you caught me in a closet.” Quietly he followed up with, “Reminds me of the first time we met.”

You don’t know what bothers you more, Seokjin’s casual reference to the past or the fact that you suddenly are placed back there. You remember being terrified, wrapping your blue, pilling blanket over your head only letting your head poke through. You had been reading under your blanket when you heard thumping coming from your closet. With your flashlight pointing at your closet you swallowed harshly as the sound came again. Your parents had told you that monsters were fake, but the sounds sounded real.

Your light was shaking on the white double doors. “H-Hello?” you bravely called out. The thumping stopped. You gulped inching closer. You were taught to be brave. Your dad said that monsters couldn’t hurt you, especially if you don’t show fear. Like the book you were reading, “Where the Wild Things Are”, you like Max, could confront the monsters too. You could become and make them friends with them. You were sure of it.  

“H-hey,” swallowing hard, ”I’m opening the door, don’t bite me okay. I won’t hurt you.”

When no response resounded you breathed in deeply through your nose. Reaching out and yanking the door open you came face to face, inches away, from a boy hiding in your closet. A majority of your clothes were pulled from their hangers and piled on the floor which he was laying on. Similarly in equal fright from you bursting open the door, a shirt he had over his head fell off revealing furry grey dog ears.  At the sound of your gasp, he gasped, and a tail that swept to the floor wrapped around his middle.

Buffering in the moment you stared at the boy who seemed to be around the same age as you. Recognition filters through you, “Max?” Your eyes lit up in wonder.

The boy squinted at you, almost upset. “My name’s not Max, it’s Seokjin!”

“Why do you have ears and a tail like him then?”

His brows furrowed, “Because I’m a—.”

You heard a knock on your door from your mother hushing Seokjin instantly. “Sweetie, are you still awake?”

The boy lurched forward cupping a hand over your mouth seeing you were going to respond. “You can’t tell anyone I’m here.”

You whispered, “Why?”

“Y/N?”

His eyes gleamed as he silently pleaded with you, switching between the shadow from under your bedroom door and your eyes, bidding for you to understand.

Nodding in understanding, somehow you understood. Your mom from the other side of the door sighed, “I know you’re pretending to sleep, Pumpkin. Put the book away. I know its Saturday but remember lights out by 9.”

“Okay, Mom.” Finally speaking up.

“G’night.”

“G’night.”

She walked away.

Seokjin studied you carefully, eyeing you skeptically. “You’re not scared?”

“No, should I be?”

He paused truly thinking. “Yes. You should be.”

“Well, I’m not. I’m brave.”

He’s getting nervous and began muttering to himself. “You shouldn’t have seen me. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep. It just smelled so nice.” The last part was whispered out low enough where you couldn’t hear it.

“How did you get in?”

He pulled you into the closet down next to him, closing the door behind. The flashlight was between you both pointing towards the ceiling tightly grasped between your hands. His hands over you. His gaze serious and intent. “Promise you won’t tell anyone, swear on it! Swear on your life!”

You felt like you were being presented the ultimate challenge. This boy was trusting you with his all, maybe this was your adventure. Your destiny. You could be honorable. You nodded, “I swear, I swear.”

“What are you though? Why do you have ears and a tail? Are they real?”

“They’re real.” He said haughtily before pridefully confessing. “I’m a werewolf.”

Your eyes were sparkling, the blanket surrounding you long forgotten and dropped. “Oh, wow! Can I touch your ears?”

He nodded. Your reaction to his secret was surprising to him. He had been told by his parents and everyone in the pack that he should never real his truth. Humans had been enemies for centuries, hunting his kind since the beginning of time. Although, the kind had lived amongst humans for centuries, finding ways to blend in and look alike. The difference was the ability to shift into their natural form.

“Why are you not, like, you know—a wolf?”

“Papa said I can shift fully when I become a man.”

You carefully reached up and felt. He shivered at the touch. “Puppy.”

He growled at you, “Don’t call me puppy.”

“But you’re cute.”

He blushed, scrambling up and pushing your closet door open before heading over to your window. “I have to go.” He began climbing out of your window landing on the ground. Your home was one floor.

You stuck your head out of the window. “Wait!”

He turned around,

“Will I see you again?”

He looked around, nodding before he disappeared between the trees.

It was nearly magnetic the way you both clicked. It was nearly painful being apart from eachother after that night. He would come to your window and sneak into your room almost every night. The following school year you finally went to the same school, Jin having convinced his parents he wanted to change schools. That’s when you both became inseparable. Years later he still snuck into your room, even though he could come through the front door, and still hid in your closet just to scare you. Although, you learned to growl back at him.

It was your normal, but at some point things began to change.

More specifically you were no longer kids. Puberty hit and you were no longer innocent to the maturity that began to bloom in you both. You knew Jin was always touchy. He would hug you and sometimes his hand would linger on you longer than necessary. He would lean in sometimes to smell you, nuzzling his nose against your temple. Initially it had bothered you, the sensation ticklish, but he had explained it quickly it was a werewolf thing. That didn’t change the way your heart would flip each time though.

Jin grew taller than you towering over you, and signs of man began replacing the baby fat. Time was good to him. He found a pack and you no longer spent every waking moment together. It wasn’t that you weren’t welcome, the six boys in his pack were nice, but you had your own group of friends that you began hanging out with. You suppose that was the beginning of the unraveling of your relationship. Naïve and feeling lost you latched onto the first group that accepted you.

Even if they weren’t good for you. You were becoming aware of popularity and boys as it was the only topic they choose to discuss. You began to feel self-conscious because your friends all had boyfriends before, but you still hadn’t. When you introduced the girls to Jin, your presence was made solely into providing information about the boys. The pack were isolationist, but you suppose that’s what made them more attractive besides their looks to hormonal teenage girls. Only now do you realize they accepted you was because you knew Jin and his friends. Specifically, one of the girls, Jenna—if you could remember correctly, would always asking you about Jin.

The breaking point was when Jenny, who knew of your obvious unrequited crush, finally asked you. “You wouldn’t mind if I ask him out right?”

“Jin?” You repeated his name as if you were unsure you heard her right. Although you heard his name coming out of her mouth more times than you can count.

“Yeah, Jin. I mean, you don’t like him, right?” Like a snake she drew out the last words, expression full of pity to resemble comfort. It didn’t help when the other girls at the table all had a similar expression, encouraging her and cornering you.

“I-I—.” You were cut off as another girl spoke up.

“Be real Jenny, they’ve been friend since forever. If he liked Y/n, he would’ve said so already. He doesn’t see her that way.”

The other girl sitting next to her laughed, “Totally doesn’t.”

Blinking back the tears, her words weren’t wrong. Embarrassment flushes through you. Embarrassed that you had even believed that Jin’s affection towards you could ever mean more. The fact that he had made your heart skip a beat. Swallowing your heartache, with a voice more confident than you felt, “Yeah. We’re only friends.”

Squeals and laughter echo out throughout the table in excitement. “Oh my god! Then when you two start dating, you should introduce us to the rest of the friends. I mean Y/n hasn’t done it, but I know you will.”

You were quickly forgotten. The bell rang and the all of them got up as they giggled and walked away to their classes. Sitting alone at the table, you stare at your tray, food partially nibbled on. A single tear falls down onto the table before you suck up the other that threatened to fall. How could you be so stupid. How could you have misread things all along? You get up from the table in a hurry, nearly tripping as your foot caught.

As you step out of the bench of the picnic table you make eye contact with Jin who had been standing at a lunch table a few tables away. The rest of the pack moving around him, but he was still staring at you.

Your embarrassment flushes deeper, had he had heard it all? Your heart breaks even further as you force a smile at him and he returned the gesture. The simple response solidifies everything—you’re just friends.

You miss the way his eyes follow you out of the lunchroom.

The heartache only gets worse as Jin begins making excuses on why he can’t hang out. Claiming he has pack things to deal with. You also begin making excuses no longer hanging out with the girls, even though they don’t seek you out. You instead dedicating your time in the library. You begin reading the books tucked away in the furthest corner of the library, vintage leatherbound books on laws, just to distract yourself. It becomes your new solace.

A few months pass, the sudden silence between you became increasingly awkward. You hadn’t realized how Jin was entangled with every single part of your life. You grew annoyed because your parents would always ask where Jin was. The visible change was when you began noticing the extra portion at the dinner table for him was no longer there. The look they began to give you, seeing the distress in you began to wear you thin.

Deciding enough was enough you decide to confront him, but still cowardly enough to do it between passing. Walking through the halls you headed towards his lockers, knowing he’d be there. His locker just a bit in from an intersection of the halls. When you finally catch sight of him he stood there with two other boys form his pack, Jimin and Hoseok. You swallowed hiding behind the wall where you could hear them, waiting for the two to leave so you could get to speak to him alone.

“Come on hyung. Come on another run tonight.” You could hear Jimin asking

Jin closed his locker after switching out his books then leaning up against it. “I can’t tonight.”

“Why? Gotta go see your girlfriend?” Jimin teases.

Jin hesitated.

You couldn’t see his expression from your place. Your heart sunk, lower lip trapped between your teeth. Had Jenny finally asked him out? Your heart was beating out of your chest.

“No, fuck off Jimin, you already know why.”

Your brows furrow. Has something been going on with Jin? How come he hasn’t told you. He used to tell you everything. You miss the conversation slightly as you contemplate what you’ve been missing with Jin. You had so much to ask him. The question on the tip of your tongue too was –had he finally fully shifted? He had always told you that he had wanted you to be the first he showed his wolf.

Zoning back in you hear Hoseok question. “Come to think of it, haven’t seen Y/n in a while, she doing okay?”

“Normally you’re like a dog in heat around her.”

“No I’m not! I don’t see her like that.”

“You sure?”

“I don’t have time for feelings or emotions.”

You cover your mouth, swallowing your feeling. You suffocate the tears. Everything the girls said were confirmed.

Jin had been so engulfed in his protecting his ego, he hadn’t been able to sense you just around the corner. He then smells it. He smells you. His head twirled towards the wall where he knew you were hiding just behind. He knows your there. He clenched his fist, he wants to go after you but he can’t, it would only prove the teasing.

Clenching your books closer to your chest you run away. Your mind working a thousand miles an hour. Lost in your turmoil you miss that you’re walking straight into someone. Stumbling slightly you look up seeing the person you didn’t want to run into. You don’t pause to apologize or recognize her yelling at you. You needed to get away. The whole day you manage to evade him and everyone—you praise that it was Friday.

Coming home your parents were sitting in the kitchen, the only light on in the house was hanging over the dinning table. Your parents look up at you sadly. “Honey, we have some bad news.”

Your backpack slouched off your shoulders and onto the floor as you took a seat.

Your mother swallowed, placing her hand on top of yours. “We’re moving. I’m sorry, Pumpkin. I know you have so many friends here. Your father’s job is forcing him to transfer to the city, the plant here is shutting down.”

You remain stoic, processing the information. However, you smile, squezzing her hand back in assurance. “How soon can we go?”  

Their expression registered shocked. Clearing their throats as they somberly told you, “We’re leaving next week.”

Nodding you get up from the table, leaving your parents apologizing to you. You dragged yourself to your room. Standing alone in the darkness, words found you again. “Not soon enough.”

You moved away, and soon what it was like to be around him everyday was forgotten. You became strangers. An unpleasant memory.

You had done college, and decided early on that you wanted to go into law. Those leather bound, vintage law books was the only thing you actively brought with you from the past. Law was consistent, but ever changing. It allowed you to find a voice, a place where arguments meant something—your voice meant something. It paved the way for a new you and when you entered law school you flourished under the pressure. Everything felt like progress, at least until the day you showed up at the internship. You no longer had the luxury of pretending. Standing in the attorney’s office was Jin among the two other interns. Seeing him first saw him again felt like all wind had been sucked out of you. It was like a ghost had aspirated and so did the sting of rejection. It was all accompanied by an odd sense of longing that passed through you. You saw the way his eyes widened with recognition when he saw you.

But you both made no motion towards the other, frozen in space and time.

Ironically, time should have done its job and all healing had been done, but scars were just thicker scabs.

The nostalgia quickly washed away as it twisted into the familiar shape of disdain towards him. He was brilliant and It was irritating, so you always were sharp with him, cold even, not willing to lose to him. A rivalry quickly evolved between you. He seemed to feel the same way as he would always retaliate back. You couldn’t last a few minutes without bickering. Words just as venomous and an amused smirk always followed.

“What are you doing? Did I mess up a secret meeting?” He throws your question back at you, grounding you back into the present.

Looking at Seokjin now, he had grown up well. He had grown in height, completely towering over you. His shoulders were broad tapering off like a V to a tiny wait. He looked great in an all black suit. Thick, dark hair pushed away from his face showed off his thick brows and symmetric features. You had eyes, but your mouth would never admit it out loud how good he looked.

Rolling your eyes, you sighed, running a hand through your hair. “Avoiding Logan.”

“Logan?” You missed the way his red eyes darken deeply as it looks black. He had heard the footsteps, but now he could put a name to it. “Are you fucking him?” He questions easily, never one for a filter.

Your eyes widen, the crudeness expected despite your aggressive bickering. “Are you seriously asking me that Seokjin?” The though was so absurd and ridiculous. Has he lost his mind. What more you had never even touched this type of topic with him before, who was he to ask about your sex life.

He tucked his hands into the pocket of his slacks. “I don’t know, it’s just an obvious conclusion to draw. Considering he follows after you like a lost puppy.” He feigned a look of pity. “It’s pathetic.”

The tone he takes with talking about Logan surprises you. He never outwardly showed that the man irritated him. You had seen them chatting around the office even. Considering your desk were next to one another it was inevitable. Anger filled you again, was he calling it pathetic because he was pursuing you? Bastard.

Lazily he leaned up against the shelf, as if he was waiting for a reaction he knew he’d get from you.

“I can’t deal with you right now.” you groan, an onset headache coming on from how childish it all was. Growing frustrated and hotter by the second stuck in the closet with him. You turned to leave.

“Leaving so soon? Don’t you want to wait for him to come back around?”

“Seokjin, will you cut it out. What is with you right now?”

He shrugged, still measuring you with a hardened gaze and lips tight in anger. “Nothing.”

Why was he so angry? Earlier you had noticed that all the bigwigs were laughing easily at his jokes. Something you couldn’t deny about Seokjin was his charisma. It was easy be persuaded by him, you used to be stupid enough to be swayed by it too. Shouldn’t he be on cloudy nine, probably having already solidified a job post grad.

“Whatever. Enjoy your night Seokjin. Don’t suck off potential employers too much.”

That had him laughing. “Ever one to need footsteps to be followed. Lead the way then.”

You glare at him in what you picture to be intimidating at him. Pulling open the door. “Fuck you Seokjin.”

You stomped away, faintly hearing the laughing coming from the closet. Luckily, no one was in the hallway.

You had been aimlessly staring at an one of the many orange sticky notes you had tacked onto the glass pane between the desk. Pink was current deadlines, orange upcoming, and blue was for your frustrations. The low cubicles truly didn’t provide privacy, but it wasn’t permanent anyways so you didn’t really put effort into personalizing it. You were trying to read the orange sticky note with the date November 29th ominously written on it. You couldn’t for the life of you remember what was due on that date. The pink note next to it reading the date December 4th was a blaring reminder of the last day of your internship.

Awakening from your thoughts you heard Logan still been droning on to you about whatever he was talking about. You had stopped listening after he called your name, you hummed like you were paying attention, then zoned out. He was leaning on the glass, his desk situated right next to yours. Jin’s was situated across from yours, but he wasn’t at his desk at the moment. At least that saved you a headache.

Your phone rings and you answer it instantly, cutting off whatever he was saying. You give him a pretend fake smile, one to which he luckily accepts sitting back at his desk. Its quick as the secretary is hanging up on you before you can tell her that you’ll be there in a moment. Gathering your things, taking an extra pen just in case, you head towards the elevators.

Knocking on the door twice you let yourself in quietly behind you. Your boss was a passive man, preferring those to act than be told what to do. Turning around taking in the office before pausing noticing the back of someone’s head already sitting in one of the two chairs in front of the desk. The chair meant to occupy your boss was empty.

Remembering where you are you and ignoring him as you stride until you plop yourself into the empty seat. You refuse to look at him, instead sorting out your tablet to take notes on. You just had to wait until your boss came in the room—you could be patient. You had a vague idea of what he may want to talk to you about, but with Jin here you were at a lost. What was he doing here anyways? Had the secretary gotten his appointments mixed up? It’s been two weeks since the event. You had spoken to him since, but it had been the usual bickering. Something had changed though, it was something atmospheric between the two of you, but you couldn’t place an instance on the beginning of the feeling. Oddly, you found yourself searching for him whenever you came to the office, which had brought its own set of turmoil that you’ve yet to unravel. Now that you were sitting next to him, somehow you felt the sense of pettiness overcome you again.

Finally looking at him you notice how great he looked today. He wore common slacks and a button up, but he made the ensemble look great.

Jin asked, “What are you here for?”

Crossing your legs over you flip open your notebook. “None of your business Kim.” You hate that you had done such a good job hiding the layers of hatred and anger, but you could even recognize the coldness in your tone.

He rolled his eyes, “Typical.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying.”

“Clue me in Seokjin.”

He shrugged, clearly wanting you to put the pieces together. Rubbing at your scalp muttering under your breath. “It’s too early for this,” checking your watch, “it’s only eight-thirty in the morning, I haven’t had my coffee yet, and I have to deal with guy.”

“That explains your snappiness. You do seem constipated.”

You audibly gasp, a retort on the tip of your tongue when the door burst open to reveal your boss. A grin already on Jin’s face knowing he got the last word in before he neutralizes it. Paying you both no mind he continued grumbling into his phone that’s tucked between his neck and ear as his other hand holds a cup of coffee and a stack of paperwork in the other. Min Yoongi, your boss, was a man of few words elusive at times, but his tongue was sharper than any knife. His mind was brilliant too, a legend amongst law students. you had heard stories of his infamous mock trials when he was in school and how he had won trails out like a daredevil. He was intimidating to say the least.

Jin’s gaze was still on you before he turned to your boss who plopped into his chair. He seems frazzled, tie a bit disheveled and dress shirt not as freshly pressed as it should be. The fact that you looked kept together in front of him was kind of embarrassing. It was common sense that interns should look that way. Did his appearance have something to do with the 29th? Shit, you really needed to figure out what event was happening that day.

He flung a thick packet in a folder over to you and Jin. You flipped open the folder and read the first page. Peaking over from yours to Seokjin’s you see he was given the exact same paper.

“I’m assigning this case to the both of you.”

“Mr. Min, I don’t mean to impose on your judgement, but I can handle this on my own.” You squinted as you read it over. It seems like a generic divorce case based on the short preliminary interview.

“Can you?” Jin quirked a brow at you. You already have insults on the tip of your tounge but he continued. “Look, I’m just saying because remember that one time—.”

You bark out his name before he can continue, already knowing what story he was going to reference.

“Mr. Kim, Ms. Y/L/N.” You both instantly shut up. “If you both are treating this opportunity simply as some game between the both of you then I’m sorry to inform you that you may not be needed anymore. This is court of law. So tell me—do I need to provide this opportunity to someone else?”

At the same time you both respond. “No, Sir.”

The way he was glaring at the both of you had your toes curling in your shoes.

“Look, Ms. Y/L/N, I’ll admit you are smart, just as much as I think Mr. Kim is capable of handling his own cases. I need the both of you on it because this isn’t an ordinary case. It won’t only go to trial in court, but Kinds court too.”

The only thing you hadn’t expected to come to find out was he was also a kind. Kind being something they used in the human world to refer to their supernatural counterpart for political correctness. One afternoon not long into your internship, but months ago, you had called Jin wolf boy in the breakroom, not knowing your boss was walking in. Anyone else would think it was a passing comment, but the narrowed look that he gave you had you crystalizing. It had become second nature to you identifying when someone was otherly. Yoongi only commented as he walked out to make sure that you both keep it that only you knew.

Jin stiffened next to you, his gaze snapping up to look at Yoongi. An exchange of glances went between them that you couldn’t quite decipher.

“Seeing as you already know about our kind Ms. Y/L/N, I would like that you both work on this together. Prepare it for the courts and depending on how it goes there the Kind’s will deal with it following. Frankly, we need you on this case to keep things right on the human end. And Seokjin we need you because you have the knowledge that comes with it. I expect the both of you can approach this and prepare a case that is thorough. We cannot risk the underlying truth getting out to the public. Dress it up how you have to, leave the kind out of it until human laws can punish as needed.” He centers you both with a stare that’s unwavering, even you feel the expressive. “Do I make myself clear.”

“Yes.” Simultaneously you both respond.

Yoongi finally sits back taking a sip from his coffee that was still just a little too hot. “Everything you need is in the folder. Now get out.”

Beginning to gather you stuff, relaxing your jaw just a bit, “Thank you Sir.” You stride out of the room without looking back.

You leave not bothering to hold it for him. He was right behind you, closing the door so it wouldn’t slam shut. He watched as you strut down the hall. He huffed realizing you weren’t going to wait to talk about the case. Calling your name does no good as you still keep towards the elevators.

When the door closes, you take a moment. Truth be told, the gravity of it is not lost on you. This was going to force you and him to be close again. Backing down would prove you and the grin that would be on Seokjin’s face knowing you gave up would be enough to keep you up at night for the rest of your life. You swear you could handle it. It is just Seokjin. Your career depends on this and doing well.

But why was your heart beating so fast?

Sitting in an empty conference room, you were going over the material again. It seemed like a regular case of infidelity and the wife was filing for divorce. After Min’s pressing of the importance of this case it felt like he was mocking you. This was a case that felt “practical”. In school you had gone over these types of cases a thousand times—introduction on legal fairness and getting the most for your client. Just because it involved the kind doesn’t mean the law will treat it any different.

At least that’s what it all seemed to be.

Standing up from your seat when you heard the door handle clicking open you put on a an air of professionalism. A short woman, who nearly curled in on herself shuffled into the room. Her blue cardigan nearly engulfed her being, but her maxi dress underneath disguised most of her petite figure anyways. A male followed behind her with a hand on her back. That had you breaking your professionalism for a split second as you lifted your brow. The way he held her was anything but platonic. You wondered shortly if that was the man in the ex-husband in question.

Extending your hand out to her in greeting. “Hello, Ms. West, I’m Y/N. Pleasure to meet you.”

In the softest voice she greeted you back. You turn to greet the male he introduced himself as Damien Caldwell. With your hand still out towards him, he refused to shake your hand. Mentioning something along the lines of scent tainting. Pretending you understood you signaled them to take a seat.

You all take a seat with Jin next to you and them across.

Carefully observing her you monitor that she was fidgeting a lot, clearly nervous.

Jin glanced at you and his expression was conveying, “Stop it, you’re making her nervous.”

You forced a smile in his direction, reading into his silent message. “Fine.”

Jin adjust himself, pen in hand gesturing towards them. “Mrs. Gloria West , can you please restate your case?” Although you both had the intake form in front of you, you needed her to state clearly what she was here for.

She begins fidgeting, biting her lip tears welding up in her eyes. Damien gently began rubbing her back. “You can do this. This is your story to tell.”

She nods, sniffling, finally looking up and you finally get a glimpse of her face. Her delicate features look worn out, dark circles under her eyes.

Your features soften, and you give her a genuinely soft smile. Handing her a tissue she thanked you softly. Dabbing the corners of her eyes she began, “My,” she licked her lips as if uttering the words brought bitterness to her, “husband has been cheating on me. I found out he has another family.” She reached into her purse pulling out a card that says Happy Father’s Day. “I found it in his underwear drawer when I was putting his clothes away last week.”

Jin followed up. “You’ve previously stated that your husband has claimed you, is this correct?”

“Yes.” She pushed aside the collar of her cardigan exposing the flaring bite marks where fangs met skin.

Pen pausing on paper you forced your jaw to stay closed. You hadn’t really prepared yourself for what claiming really meant. The primal signature was jarring. The two puncture wounds looked poorly scared, the tissue surrounding it somehow still rejecting the mark.

She covered it up again. “I was young and naïve when we first met, just out of high school and didn’t have much experience. He was five years my senior. I didn’t understand what it all meant at the time. I thought the butterflies I got seeing him meant he was my mate. I was hopelessly in love.” Tears brimmed in her eyes again, but she sniffled preventing them from falling.  “He told me I was his mate. I believed him. I let him mark me.” She spoke the words as if they burned her. “We got married three years ago, right after he marked me.”

You were disgusted, stomach unsettled, forced marriage seemed so archaic. Your fist curled under the table. You didn’t understand the depth of what happened in the kind context, but it still irked you. You didn’t let it show on your face though.

Damien was getting restless, clearly irate.

Jin visibly tensed. You see his jaw clench. You fill in for him. “Daniel West, your husband, how did you know he wasn’t your mate?” The word sounded unfamiliar in your mouth. You had heard it spun around before, but never truly knew the meaning. Although you could conclude that it seemed to imply partner.

She looked to Damien and her face seemed to lighten up, dark circles diminishing, as she looked at him. He had the same look at her. Clearly you could tell they were in love. “I found Damien. I knew it was the real thing because it hurt being apart. I couldn’t get him out of my head. Just a touch and it felt electric. I can’t explain it, but I just…knew. I just knew he was it.”

“Is there any other signs of another partner or family?”

“He smells like her.” She swallowed harshly. “He smells like other women too, but her the most.”

“Is there any other factors that are telling? Like photo evidence?”

“No.” You tilted your head considering it over. You couldn’t use smell in court to prove infidelity. You breathed in harshly, slouching forward. How were you supposed to find evidence?

Jin hasn’t spoken the entire time, lost in thought and focusing on the incoming information. “Are there any children?”

She nodded.

“How many? Please identify them.” She goes on to list two children, one three years old and a newborn.  

Jin stared at the Damien for a moment. “I know this is a sensitive question, however, I must ask this. Did you mark him?”

It seems Jin had already predicted Damien’s response as the sound of paper crumpling in Damien’s fist was loud. His fist shook form the strength of his anger. Gloria reached over grabbing onto his leg, and his grip loosened up slightly.

She apologized to him. His fist completely unclenched as both of his hands cupped her face. “No, no, no, honey. Don’t apologize. None of this is your fault. You know that right.”

She closed her eyes, calming and basking in the affection. “I know.”

You blushed yourself, feeling as if you had intruded in an intimate moment. You can’t help but follow your instincts telling you to look at Jin. You feel like you see Seokjin for who he is, not how you’ve constructed him. At the same time you find yourself suddenly reminded—he was different. Stern and cold, eyes empty of all the things that used to make him goofy. It was as if you had lost the dictionary. Unable to translate a language that was once native to you. His quirky awkward fillers and jokes have matured into standards. He holds punctuation in his tone, powerful. Calculating in a way you didn't know he could be. Your eyes follow the curve of his plump lips, the curve of his nose and then the entire profile. It feels intimate.

You pause and wonder if Seokjin has a mate. Did he look at them like that too?

You pause diffusing those thoughts, you shouldn’t be thinking of him that way. Focusing back on the case at hand you know mating is something that cant be proven scientifically. It’s a feeling.

She blushed, taking both of her mates hands into hers and placing them on her lap. With more confidence she turned back to you both. “No. I didn’t know then that it had to be both. Daniel told me that marking me would be enough for the both of us. I didn’t realize it until later. When I brought it up he told me I was wrong, that I didn’t know any better. That people were just trying to put ideas into my head and he knew best. I believed him, until I felt the real feeling.”

“You will have a trail before the elders after this, are you aware of that?” Jin says.

“Yes.”

With a thoughtful pause, Jin smiled reaching out to shake their hands. “That concludes questions for today. Thank you both for your time.”

Reaching out to Gloria, you shake her hand, “You’re very brave for this. We’ll do whatever we can to help.”

She smiled, patting your hand. “Thank you.”

You help escort them to the door and they assure you they know the way out. Shutting the door with a click you find Seokjin hunching over his notes. All sense of comfort he offered earlier and professionalism drained form him.

Eyeing him curiously, you asked, “What’s wrong?”

“This…this…this is worst case scenario.” He says.

“Can’t she just get rid of the mark? Things like this are reversable right? She found her mate,” you say the last word with uncertainty as its unfamiliar on your tongue. Logical solutions are the only way you can navigate.

“No, Y/n. it doesn’t work like that.” Voice accusatory.

You shrink, feeling as he had called you stupid indirectly. His fingers couldn’t stop fidgeting over the papers, unable to look at you. “The mark is permanent and can’t be undone. She’s bound to him, but he wasn’t.” He raises his voice towards the end.

“Why are you getting angry?”

When he looked up at you his eyes are red. “You don’t get it.”

You falter. His words hit hard and ring like a ghost putting you back into your old room. Those words engraved like a scar on your heart. Pulling back the scar you are put back in time.

Pacing more folded clothes in the cardboard boxes you glance out your window. It was a full moon.

You couldn’t sleep so you began packing, you were due to move out the following day.

Standing up, you went to the window, staring at the moon. Your eye follows the bush and thick trees that line the property. The night seemed to be so quiet and clear. You felt suffocated in your room, your thoughts making you claustrophobic. You pushed open the window, carefully to make the least noise as possible. Going back to your boxes you fished out a jacket and put on shoes. You slipped through and hit the grass with a thud. Closing your window behind you, you turn back towards the beginning of the forest.

Suddenly a wave of sadness fills you as you remember how Jin used to always come through the same bushes to see you. Clenching your fist and tucking your jacket tighter over you, you force the thoughts of Jin out of your head.

You push pass the bushes, the light of the moon enough to light your way. You follow a faint overgrown carved out path.  In all truth you had only ventured out a few times into the forest each time with him. Jin had always warned you that it wasn’t safe, but he wasn’t here to tell you otherwise. You could make your own choices. Remembering that there was a small ravine nearby you began heading towards it knowing it was somewhere nearby. The sounds of crickets was the only thing you heard besides the crunching of your shoes on mulch.

The air grew noticeably heavier with a mist and you could hear the soft sound of water running. Heading down a slope you end up at the shore of a riverbed. The water was running gently over the darkened stones underneath, just a bit further down the river picked up, frothing as it hit protruding stones. You dip your hand into the spring water, the cold causing you to shiver.

For a moment you can imagine that it’s just you in the world.

Tomorrow this would be all but a dream.

From across the bed, along the other shoreline, twigs crunch. Ripping your hand form the water you freeze in place.  Scanning the shoreline, you couldn’t see anything. Your mind pictured a thousand things it could be. Even in the dark you could make out red eyes looking at you. The being shifted to an opening on the shoreline before taking on the large silhouette of wolf. Its fur was black, dark as the sky.

You stayed put, afraid to rile it up by running despite all instincts saying to do so. It stepped closer, entering the water and trudged closer to you. You weren’t ready to die. It held your gaze the entire time. As it grew closer the wolf was larger than what you’d expect to be average, it was more comparable to a grizzly bear.

It kept coming closer and your heart even louder in your ears. You lost your balance falling on your ass with a shriek. You weren’t quick enough to recover as it was hovering over you. You could feel its hot breath fanning over you with its heavy breaths. It growled and your muscles tensed in fear. It just hovered over you, you wondered if it was waiting for you to make a move.

Willing your eyes to open, all at once you felt like you had recognized the beast. “J-Jin?”

Sensing your fear, it then whined. Then he is shifting, limbs elongating and spine curving as he growled through the process. You can’t bear to look at him as you hear the sound of bone cracking and popping. The sound having goosebumps pill your flesh.

"What are you doing out here?" His voice was deep and cold, lacking its usual warmth. When you turn to look at him you no longer see a massive wolf but Jin. His eyes were still red and you stare, trapped within the color. It’s the first time you’ve ever seen it. The tattered clothing that had stuck to his previous form manifested in torn pants, but he was shirtless.

Wrinkling your nose. Just when you thought you could get away from him, he manifest. “I can be here if I want. Who are you to say I can’t?”

His wolf hadn’t settled, taking your challenge personal rather than rational. “Its too dangerous.”

“We haven’t spoken in so long and the first thing you do is yell at me.”

His expression softened, but he still appeared stern. “Go home.”

“Really Jin?”

“Go home!”

“Do you really not care about me? What you said to Jimin, is it really true?”

When he remained quiet, you found your answer. You bit your lip, forcing yourself to suffocate the tears.

“You don’t understand.” He heaved.

“Obviously, so why! Why won’t you talk to me!” Your nerves finally snap. Tears were prickling at your eyes regardless of how much you fought to keep them down.

“Can’t you give me some space! You just need to give me space sometimes.”

“No! This isn’t you, you’d tell me everything. There are no secrets between us. I want answers. Is it that easy to you to throw away everything we have?”

He growled and stepped up to you, inches away looking down at you. Your neck was kinked back staring back at him with equal challenge. His nostrils flare as he takes in your sense. His chest rumbled.

“I don’t want you to know! I don’t want you know about that part of me. So stay out of it! Leave it alone and me alone. I don’t need you.���

Feeling so small, it hadn’t occurred to you that he didn’t see you as important enough. You hated how much you had relied on him. You feel like a child whining to a parent. Maybe the girls were right. Jin would never look at you like that. You were an outsider to his real world anyways. “Fine. You know what, you’re right I don’t understand and never will. I see what I mean to you now.” Tears were rolling down your cheeks but you swiped them away as soon as they broke.

“Y/n.” The anger melted away from his being instantly, realizing what he said. He wants to take it all back, but he can’t find the right words. He stepped towards you and you took two steps back. You wanted to get away from him.

“You’ll never have to see me again.” You laughed, but it wasn’t in humor, instead full of bitterness.

“What?”

“I’m leaving.”

“What do you mean leaving?”

“What do you care Jin? Aren’t you getting what you want? You don’t need me. You’ll never have to worry about me getting in your business or caring about you again. I’m moving tomorrow.”

“Goodbye.” You turned away from him. His red eyes imprinting in your memory like a branding. You swore before you turned away you saw tears, but you refused to believe it.

He had made his bed, now he had to lay in it.

When you remained quiet, Jin began packing his stuff quietly realizing his outburst. You can only assume he remembered the same thing.

Sighing heavily he tries to dispel the anger, his eyes flashing back to normal. “We’ll discuss things later.”

You hate that it makes your heart sink. You don’t like that he’s pushing you away. He had done it before, but he wasn’t going to do it again. “Of course I don’t, so explain it to me now.”

He ignores you and makes towards the door. Before he makes it you grab onto his forearm. “Will you listen. Don’t walk away from me.”

His body stiffens instantly, although his chest was still heaving. When he turns to look at you, you let go of him like you had been burned. You crossing your arms over your chest protectively. Knowing he no longer plans to leave you follow up, “Look, I don’t know as much as I thought. Don’t punish me for it. I just want to solve this case as you do.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I just…imagining someone claiming—.“

Your chest deflated too with his reaction it gave you an unspoken conclusion. He had a mate. You should’ve known better than to let your thoughts trail on earlier. Instead you focused on his apology. “We need to work together right? This is our last case here and we can get through this professionally.”

“Can we?”

You smirked, “I can behave if you can.” You straightened up, extending out your hand to him, “Let’s call a truce or something.”

He accepted it, but still held onto it which was something you didn’t expect. “Something?”

“I mean do you have a better status to call whatever this is?”

“Truce implies I hate you. I don’t hate you.”

The way Seokjin looked at you felt like he was truly looking at you. You almost felt paralyzed as you couldn’t look away. His words felt—genuine. But you refused to lean into that, you didn’t want to read into his words too much. You rolled your eyes, unconvinced pulling your hand out of his. “Okay, alright, I said behave”

“Really. I don’t.” Weakly he smiled.

“So truce or not?”

“Okay.” He answered.

“Okay.” You repeat back.

“Good.”

“Yeah.”

“Give me your phone.”

You pulled out your phone and handed it to him. He saved his phone number, calling himself, before handing it back. “Don’t abuse it now.”

You scoffed, nearly choking on your own saliva. Unable to stop yourself from laughing in disbelief. “You wish.”

He genuinely laughed, the high pitch sound unique and squeaky. Turning to leave, he paused in the doorway looking over his shoulder. “Another thing.”

You hummed, looking at him expectantly. You saw the cheeky smirk before it bloomed. “Keep the messaging to during the daylight hours, alright.”

“Seokjin!”

He closed the door quickly behind him, evading your spitfire.

He isn’t sinking back into your life. You aren’t even friends. You both were going to go your separate ways after the internship, and you were never likely to run into him again.

You had nothing to lose.

Truce.

Shutting the door behind you a bit harder than necessary, you toe off your heels and hook your keys up.

Your roommate, Mia, was already sprawled out on the couch. Slumping right next to her and crowding her out. The sounds you emit sounded like a deflating air mattress as you groan.

“Yikes, that bad of a day?” Shuffling to adjust herself again on the couch.

Closing your eyes you nodded. She laughed, clearly not buying the way you played victim. “What did he do today?”

Mia had been a friend you made during college, and quickly became your closets friends. When you both graduated you found yourself needing someone to roommate with while job searching and grad school stuff. You had found out about her being a Kind early on in your sharing of home. She was more surprised to find out that you had already known about it. That’s when you told her about your childhood, leaving out names, all until recently where she was too smart and connected the dots. Wolves and their intuition.

“Okay, first off, not everything isn’t about him. And secondly, how dare you be right about it.”

She laughed, her laptop nearly falling off her lap. You loath her, her and her perceptiveness. She was smart, but sometimes too smart for your own good. “It just—he’s so irritating! I just said one wrong thing today and he exploded. Then we had a truce and get this, he said he didn’t hate me.” Confessing all on your own, you felt accosted just by her silence.

Her eyebrow quirked at that, followed by a cheshire grin. “You two getting along now then? Is that’s what’s upsetting you?”

“No. It’s just—he played the good guy and it made me feel stupid. I have been doing my best and then he comes along and makes me feel—ughh! It’s just this case is stressful. I feel way out of my depths.”” You have your hands in the air scratching at the air.

“Leave then.” She shrugged, stating the obvious solution. She already had let this type of complaining go in one ear and out the other. Since the beginning of your internship you had come home and vented about your day, mostly revolving around him as the topic of choice. How he irritated you that day, or simply breathed the wrong way. Even to yourself, the amount of time he has been able to rile you up lately has become annoying.

“I can’t just leave, you know how hard I worked for this. You know how important this place is. Besides, I need it to graduate.”

“Well then, why were you arguing anyways? What does this have to do with your case?”

“Everything to do with it.”

She nodded. Realizing it must not be within your realm she opens up, “Need insight?”

You shifted on the couch tucking your legs underneath you. “What’s marking or ‘laying claim’?”

She turned to you, “Are you serious?” For the first time in your friendship you saw her blush. She was always forthcoming with sexuality and whatnot, so this was out of character for her.

“Yes.”

“Did he ask you about it?”

You squinted at her, “No, why?”

She cleared her throat, waving her hand, “No, nothing.”

“Well its not PG-13.” She licked her lips.

“Well thank goodness I’m not a virgin maiden in waiting. What is it? You’re stalling.” Her reaction made you infinitely more curious.

“Okay, well honey, when two mates, who love eachother very much—.”

“Oh god, stop it, please be serious for once!”

She laughed. “Fine. It’s a sacred ritual that connects two mates together. Or in layman terms, two soulmates together via a bite mark. It acts like rings? But its more than that. Its hard to explain.”

“Soulmates?” You suffocated the scoff. Out of all things she said to be appalled at. “That doesn’t exist.”

She smiled at you. “They do! You humans just don’t believe it because you’ve corrupted the system.”

“So it can’t it just be anyone? You know, fall in love and just know that person is it, the one?”

She shook her head. “No, it’s this instinctual feeling. This soul connection. You’ll know it when you feel it kind of thing.”

“Ugh, that’s what she said too.” You rubbed at your temples. “I can’t use a feeling as evidence.”

You sighed, “I can’t tell you about the case, but hypothetically if this happened. Hypotheticals only.”

She suffocated a laugh, rolling her wrist in a circle, hand gesturing for you to continue.

“So hypothetically, the client was hypothetically marked by someone other than her mate. What does that mean—hypothetically?”

Her face sobered, “Are you serious?”

You nodded.

Fiddling with her fingernails, she looked genuinely troubled. “How can that even happen?” She mumbled to herself before she turned to you. “I don’t know of any worse punishment. The pain that comes with that either is unimaginable. It’s violation of not only culture, but its inhumane. The human equivalency of forced marriage, but even then that equivalency doesn’t compare how bad it is. Murder, maybe?”

“What would happen to the one who bit the other…hypothetically?”

“Normally, death. There would be a match between the actual mate and the one who bit until death, but times have changed. The punishment is still severe.”

You take pause realizing how serious it all was. You weren’t sold to the idea of love, or soulmates, but being forced in a marriage the idea made you sick. You finally could see why Seokjin was so upset earlier. Sighing heavily you let your head fall back on the couch onto the cushion stared at the ceiling. How could you find evidence against this guy then?

“We gotta make him pay.” Looking towards her. “Do you think a guy who has a separate family would leave a paper trail?”

“You just need to find his social accounts. Cheaters usually have multiple accounts under different pseudonyms. Their downfall though is that most guys are stupid enough to not undo the geo tag or take the photos all in the same place.”

“I’ve already looked into it. He only has one account. It’s pretty generic, nothing telling.”

“But have you?” She gave you this side eye. “He must have a fake account then. Probably all his closets friends follow it, so we just have to find a similar name that seems to be a generic account.” The whole time she had been speaking to you she had been doing the research.

“Done.”

Your jaw dropped. She did that so fast. Could you blame her though, as an IT specialist she knew the ins and outs of things like this.

“You evil genius!” She pulled it back to herself, you scooching to sit next to her so you can watch what she does. Scrolling through, she squinted. “Seems he recently was on this page.” She clicked on link bringing up a page to a club named Fluxx. Scrolling through you both catch a comment under an event from West. The DJ who was playing there apparently was his favorite, him and his boys were going to be there to see it that weekend.  

She turned her laptop towards you. “You’d think he’s in college still.”

“What if…what if I go. I’m sure he isn’t going to just party with his friends. I’m sure he’s going to be there looking for his next victim.”

She shut her laptop, scowling at you. “No. Absolutely not.”

You pout, “Why not? You realize this give me the evidence I need to proof the case.”

“You don’t understand. It’s a club for others. Humans can’t get in here unless you’re someone’s play thing or—.”

“Or what?”

“With someone who is.”

You stare at her expectantly.

“No.”

“Come on!” You whine, tugging at her sleeve.

“No, this is dangerous!” She set her laptop on the coffee table, moving away from you so you couldn’t provoke her. Getting up form the couch she headed towards the kitchen. You sigh following after her. She reached into a cabinet for a mug.

“Don’t treat me like a child.”

She slammed down her mug, and you jumped. You had never seen her upset. She turned to you with a look of disbelief. “Child? This isn’t a game, y/n. You apparently don’t what kind of shit you’re getting into. My kind have to live in the shadows, and do you know what happens in the shadow.” Her comment was rhetoric.

You kept your mouth shut.

“Humans are no longer the superior race in there. Not all kinds are what you think. You’d get eaten alive the moment you let your guard down.”

“I didn’t go through all this trouble to find a good lead to get scared away by the what ifs. Besides, you’ll be there with me, right?”

“They’re not what ifs, y/n.”

“Yes, they are. You went there before and are standing here today.”

“Don’t get smart with me.”

“I’m not. I understand okay! I know you don’t think I do, but I do. I’ve heard it before and I don’t need to hear it from you!”

She turned to look at you with a pointed glare. You stood your ground.

She huffed preparing herself a drink. You stared at her back. For a moment you held doubt. What if she was right. What if you were getting yourself in something bigger than you anticipated. Picturing back to earlier in the day to Gloria and the amount of fear she had regarding her husband had your stomach sinking. The look that Seokjin had, the anger in him, and now hearing of the significance. The sense of justice found itself rooting in you even thicker.

“Alright.”

Pushing off the counter you were leaning on, Mia dropped the spoon she was using to swirl her drink in the sink noisily.

“You’re planning on going anyways aren’t you.”

Painting her with a look of exhaustion and resolve. “I am.”

“How?” she tossed her hands up in the air.

“I don’t know, I always figure things out somehow.”

She picked up her mug pushing past you then picking up her laptop going into her room. She slammed the door.

You slumped back onto the couch. Biting on your thumb. How were you supposed to get in now?

She came storming out of her room thirty minutes later. Rubbing her temples with a look of distress.

“Can’t you just hire a PI or something?”

“No, you yourself said being a kind is a secret. I can’t hire someone to watch him.”

She bit her lip, “Do you have to be this stubborn?”

You chuckled. “Yes. A woman’s life is going to be decided if or not I can prove her husband is a dick. Even if that means putting myself out there to prove it. I really want justice for her.”

“God, I really hate you sometimes.”

You smirked sitting up. “Does that mean you’ll get me in.”

“I swear to God if you get hurt—.”

“We won’t, I won’t.” You rushed towards her wrapping her in a hug. “Thank you, this means a lot. You know I wouldn’t ask something form you if I didn’t mean it right.”

She sighed. “Yes.”

“You owe me big time!”

“Whatever you want darling, the world is ours!”

Finding yourself back at the office after finishing all your classes in the morning. You were exhausted. The week, on top of the internship, had been exam heavy. You found it difficult to raise your head from your desk. Luckily for you, the office was nearly empty including of the other three. All others were at their campus or otherwise. You purposefully came on this day to get your work done.

Your phone pinged, notifying you got a text. With your hand you blindly searched for your phone dragging it so you could look at it form your lap with your head still on the table.

You sat up when you noticed who had texted you. You blink at the ID a few times.

Partner in Crime [2:07 p.m.]: We should meet up to work on the case.

You knew enough to deduce it was Seokjin.

You [2:09p.m.]: Who’s this?

Partner in Crime [2:10p.m.]: Are you serious?

You [2:10p.m.]: I’m at the office now.

Pain in the ass [2: 12pm]: Can you meet me at my school’s library in thirty? The office is nearby. I’ll buy you a coffee.

Location sent.

You contemplate. You just wanted to go home. Deal with the case more after this weekend after going to the club. You want to present all your finding and seal the deal all in one session. However, the thought of coffee was convincing enough to have you texting back.

You [2:20pm]: Okay. Be there soon.

Pain in the ass [2:21pm]: I’ll meet you outside.

You found yourself standing outside of the library half an hour later, staring up at the towering building. This was their library? This looked more like a historical site. Well it explained why the tuition here was so expensive. He went to the ivy school, one of the best, if not the best, law programs in the nation. You eyed things with envy. You had applied for this school too, it was a dream of course. But you suppose going to state university granted you only so much prestige.  

“The clouds telling you something?” You jump when Jin comes up next to you.

You glare at him. He’s laughed. “Sorry, you looked so lost in your thoughts. Didn’t actually think I’d scare you. Here.” He handed you the other coffee in his hand.

You accepted it gladly, fingers feeling frozen, but pause. “You didn’t poison this right?”

“No, that’d be too easy.”

You nearly snort into your cup. “Spoken like a true soon to be lawyer.”

You miss the endearing stare he gives you as you begin walking up the stairs. He quickly catches up with you putting a hand on the small of your back when a large group of students come your way. He guides you up the stairs keeping you close with the abundant of students pouring in and out. You suppressed the squeak you wanted to let out. His hand was large and warm, the touch radiating through your coat. Your mind tells you you should move away, but you don’t. He leads you to the lower floor where to your surprise was just as magnificent as the base floor. The gothic architecture feels almost as if you’re entering a cathedral. The tables were dark oak wood and heavy looking ordered in long rows of five. Green banker lamps were in the center of each table basking the old scratched up wood in golden light.

Leading you to a table secondarily inward, he took a seat next to you.

Finding it odd, you debate on moving, but you neglect to comment on it. He settled into the seat looking none the more comfortable. Settling in you pulled out your laptop plugging it into an outlet underneath the table. You needed a second to re-center yourself. You didn’t like that you instead of revulsion like you expected to, you felt his presence give you a sense of security. It’s all dangerous, the feeling all too close to the ease you used to have with him.

“Have you come across any new leads?” Jin asked.

You quirked you head, having been so lost in your thoughts. “Huh?”

“New leads?”

“Oh, yeah.” You bring it up a on your laptop and show him. “I found his secret Bookface account. It’s even under a different name, Ethan Miller. He must have many identities and more accounts than this one.”

He brought his arm up resting it on the back of your chair, bringing the both of you closer. You flush thinking nothing of it as his thick thigh brushes yours as he leaned in.

“How’d you find it?” He clicks through the photo album. Pictures of ‘Daniel’ and children appear that look very much like him. Children who were not his with Gloria.

“I know people.”

He looked mildly impressed. “I see, if you tell you’ll have to kill me kind of scenario.”

Shrugging with a bit of pride you crossed your arms over your chest and leaned on the desk. Lamely you shot a single finger gun at him. Realizing how lame it was you quickly tucked your finger back into your fist and crossing your arms. When did you do lame things like that ever?  He laughed, and you tried to ignore the embarrassment.

“Anything else?” He was so close to you when he looked up. You couldn’t help but let your eyes flicker down to his lip for a second as he mouthed the words. You quickly brought them back up to his eyes, the dark chocolate color another vortex. Heat rises to your cheeks and he could probably hear your heart picking up in pace. It didn’t help that from how close he was you could smell the cologne he wore, which made you want to lean in and press your face to smell it from his skin. Heat flushes even hotter through you, how brazen of your thoughts were getting.

Remembering he asked you something you answer more breathier than you would like. “No.”

When he straightens up, you were glad he didn’t comment on it. You contemplated telling Jin where you were going, but you keep your mouth shut. You could handle it on your own, all you needed to do was bring the evidence.

You cross your legs attempting to move away from him.

He nodded, taking screenshots before moving on. He finds the photos of his other family just like you did, and the other woman too. He carefully zoomed in squinting at the image of the woman.

“She’s wearing a scarf and in a majority of them.”

“Didn’t take you to be in the fashion police.” That has him snorting a laugh before he goes back to the page. He looked around, finding no one in any of the other rows, you both completely had the basement floor to yourselves. “He must’ve marked her, or newly marked her when they took these photos. She’s trying to cover up the bruising.”

“Is that so abnormal?”

“Well, not necessarily. We just heal rapidly, cuts heal within hours. Marks do take a bit to heal, but it usually heals within a day if cared for properly. But just the way she hiding it and the bruising, It means she’s human. Kinds know marks aren’t meant to be covered up. They’re something sacred and to be worn proudly.”

“So…?”

With his head propped onto his hand he turned to you, eyes boring into you. That feeling arises in your stomach again. The way he was looking at you felt deeper than just a simple glance. You think back to when he said he didn’t hate you. The words still feel impossible.

“Human mates are rare.” Without letting you question it he says, “Bruising could mean it never healed because her body is rejecting him.”  

“Wouldn’t he be feeling some repercussions too? It’s a two-way thing right?”

“Yes, but it seems that he’s not being affected. Gloria would have mentioned illness or signs of hyper aggression.” He scrolls over the images. “You’d expect this kind of behavior from—.” Again he pauses, lost in though.

“From what?”

“A rogue.”

You squint. “English, please.”

He smiles at you. “An exiled wolf. When we don’t have a pack for too long our sense of direction becomes distorted. Signs are aggression, loss of humanity and morality, eventually they lose their its ability to revert.”

“And you think he’s one?”

He leaned back in his seat. “It’s plausible.”

“Let’s go through his account and gather more evidence. I can began transcribing the interview. We can do case search too if we have time.”

He nodded his head. You send him the link to West’s account and begin sectioning out the work. Surprisingly, you had worked quietly next together, no bickering. It was—pleasant.

“How’s school going?” His husky voice breaks you out of your concentration. He was still looking at the laptop and writing down notes.

You hummed. “Getting by, you?”

“Same.” He hums back and the lull begins again. You bite at your lip, curiosity getting the better of you. “Why did you decide to go to law school? Weren’t you going to become a chef?”

He had always told you when he was younger, he wanted to become a chef. “Duty called.”

“Let me guess, pack stuff?”

He nods, not missing the way you said it. “I’m expected to become a council member when I graduate. I’m going to take my father’s position and practice in the kind’s court.”

You didn’t know much about his family, things were always surface when you were younger. Playtime and other things taking precedence. You had no idea his father was a lawyer. You had only spoken to his parents a handful of times. His mother was the one who spoke to you mostly, his father was a stoic man.

“But, your dream?”

“I still cook, I just don’t do it professionally.”

“Do you regret it?”

“No, I’m happy.”

You thoughtful consider his words. It pains you a little to know he gave up his dream.

“How are they, your pack?”

A fatherlike smile comes on his face. “They’re all well, Namjoon is to be the next pack leader. The others are all doing their own thing, but they’re doing great.”

You smile, the fond memories of the boys resurfacing. “I miss them.”

“Why’d you leave then?”

There it is. The conversation the both of you had been avoiding this whole time. You had asked him something so personal and now he was returning it. The implication of the question wasn’t only why you left town, but him. You knew that, both physically and emotionally. You don’t know if you could offer him that though.

Abruptly your smile leaves you. “My dad got a job here in the city. I had no choice.” Your tone was frigid despite how much you wanted it to sound neutral.

“That’s the only reason?” He didn’t buy it. Based on his tone he sounded hurt. Knowing there was another reason. You hated that he could still read you.

You shrug, maintaining your stance. “Yes.”

“Bullshit.” His voice comes out clipped and sharp.

“What other reason would I have Seokjin?” Willing your voice to stay leveled, you begin using a voice you only use in professional settings.

“You left me.” He spoke the pain that he had held within. When you look over to him his eyes are red.

Leaning back in your chair, you crossed your arms over your chest. You wanted to remain unaffected, but you wanted to reach out to him. You felt the urge to touch him, but your anger kept you steady. “I didn’t leave you, you weren’t there. How can you say I left when you weren’t there.”

“You know that’s not true.” He accused, gaze darkening.

“It’s true.”

“I tried, but you wouldn’t answer.”

“That’s bullshit Jin and you know it. For months you ignored me.” Using his words back at him you choked on your words towards the end. You want to say, ‘you didn’t need me’, but the word hung heavy on your tongue, too hurtful even to yourself. You know that you didn’t try to reach out because after what those supposed friends said, it was made true when he just suddenly left. The prioritizing of his pack over you. All your feelings for him were crushed. Heartbreak was easier to deal with when you didn’t have to see their face.

He growls out, “I had things in the pack to handle.”

“Good excuse.” You knew he avoided you for other reasons, it was beginning to urk you that he wasn’t voicing it.

“I couldn’t help it. I was being initiated and had my first complete shift. It was a lot.”

“It’s different and you know it. I—forget it.” You wanted to say so much more, confess how you used to love him. Those feelings feel trivial now, even if they still exist in the present. The realization of the words, even though spoken in your mind had you reliving the pain all over again.

He falters and you almost feel guilty. A darkness spreads over the atmosphere. You spend a moment staring at one another. There is a tension between you two. Yet you can’t deny it’s like magnets. You feel drawn to him despite it all. Always have been. The knowledge of that has you shattering inside.

You stand up. “I’m going to look for a case study.” The wooden chair screeches against the floor. You needed to get away, to cool down. The sound of your shoes echo with the emptiness of the library.

Slinking between the bookcases you keep walking until you are deep within, feeling far enough where you can breathe again. Leaning against a bookshelf you sigh heavily. How come he had this much effect over you still?

Suddenly you feel heat overcome you as Jin suddenly towers over you. Softly his chest rumbles in hushed growls as he caging you in.

“Seokjin, leave me alone.”

When he doesn’t move you attempt to escape, placing your hands on his firm chest and pushing him. Unsurprisingly he doesn’t budge, but he shifts to keep you within his outstretched arms on the bookshelf. His gaze is intense, the red seeming to glow. “No, why do you run away when the conversation gets difficult?”

Humiliation clouds you. “Don’t patronize me.”

“Seokjin I’ve never run, it was you. I stopped chasing when I realized you had other priorities then and I wasn’t one of them. You said so yourself. Simple as that.”

You see him register the memory. His expression turns bitter. “That’s not true.” Gaze narrowed, his hands turn white as he clutches the shelf behind you. “I didn’t ignore you on purpose. Things were complicated and there was a lot I didn’t understand yet.”

“Good excuse.”

“It isn’t!”

“So what?”

“I realized something that—.”

“You didn’t need me.” The words come out of your mouth quietly finishing the sentence for him.  

“No!” he growled.

“Keep telling yourself that.” You bit back the feeling of tears. “What do you gain Seokjin from this, huh? Reliving the past? It’s not then anymore. The us, whatever it was, is not now. And nothing will change that.”

The bookshelf creaked under his grip. “Don’t. Don’t say things like that.”

“What? That I’m no longer that young naïve girl? The one that used to follow you around? The one that used to think you were—.” The word mine dies on your tongue. “I don’t need you anymore and haven’t for a while, face it.”

“Please don’t cry.” He looked at you sadly.

You hadn’t realized you were crying. Attempting to wipe your tears, Jin hand took yours holding it while he caressed your face with the other wiping it away for you.

“Please don’t. I can’t handle it.”

He lowers his head and kissed you. The first press of his lips was gentle but deep. A small whimper escapes you; he rumbles in response pressing you closer to the bookcase. His hand dictates yours onto his shoulders while it wrapped around your waist pulling you close to him. It was making you dizzy with how good it felt.

He pulled away warm breathes of quiet between you two. You slowly open your eyes meeting his fiery ones. The warmness and adoration of it catching you off guard. The boyish loopy smile that followed had your heart melting. He lowered his head, resting his forehead against yours. His lips press against yours again unyielding. You had imagined this before, but this felt better. He kisses your jaw down to your neck. You shiver. The implication of it is not lost on you. He trailed back up finding your lips again in a harsh mesh. With a sigh he pried your mouth open. He moans your name.

Bringing you back to reality. “I—We can’t.”

This wasn’t right on many levels, but most importantly, didn’t he have a mate? Why was he kissing you? You had messed up, messed up big time. How had you caved so easily when he kissed you. You hate that you liked it so much too. You realize from the moment you both met again that the feeling you worked so hard to suppress came back strong. This was a mistake from the beginning. He still makes your heartbeat like it used to.

Seokjin’s arms were still extended towards you. “Why not?”

“I can’t—we can’t.”

You do what you do best. You run. Your heart breaks again for the second time.

Standing outside in line in the dead of fall would have to be the last place you wished to find yourself. The bombing bass thumped through the walls and neon lights outlined the vicinity. Other patrons in line to the club seemed at ease with the near freezing temperature. You suppose its a caveat of being human that your body didn’t run naturally warm. You had been to clubs throughout your college days, but they were far in between. Except this wasn’t any regular club, Fluxx was meant for the underworld. Those of the other kind.

Crossing your arms over your chest you attempt to conserve as much heat as possible. The fire within only kindled by the fact that you are only doing this for the case. The dress you had borrowed form Mia after she had deemed your choice to tame barely covered anything. It was too tight and you were sure that everything underneath was outlined.

Your phone vibrates in your clutch. You step away from Mia, although she was distracted chatting up some guy in the line. You answer it without looking at the ID.

“Hello?” Plugging your other ear with your finger.

“There’s something you need to know.” Jin’s voice comes through. You startle looking at the phone to check if it really was him. After what happened yesterday you hadn’t expected to never speak to him so soon.

Putting it back to your ear. “Can it wait?” You hiss.

“No.”

“What is it?”

“I talked to Yoongi about him being a rogue. It all checks out. I don’t know how much longer before he turns.”

You bite your lip, heart pausing in your chest. You stare at the club for a moment contemplating what you are about to do. You knew what you were doing was dangerous, entering territory still uncharted to you. However, this was the best way to get more proof.

“Y/n? Y/n did you hear me?”

His voice comes back into your ear, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Are you out right now?”

Form the corner of your eye you notice a bouncer going down the line, eyeing those standing in line. Mia grabs your elbow pulling you back to her. You hadn’t told her what happened yesterday. Unable to articulate it either. She mouthed to you, “Everything alright?”

“Where are you?” Jin asked.

You nodded to her.

“I gotta go.”

“Y/n, wait—.” You hung up on him tucking your phone back in your purse.

The bouncer scanned you over before looking to Mia. The smile that bloomed on his face was a bit salacious. “Go on in ladies.” Mia grabbed your arm pulling you to bypass the line. Going through the entrance, the dark narrow hallway, you focus on your footing as it was hard to see. The deep house thumping grew louder until it opened to a large room. Strobing lights were made opaque by the hazy air, thick with the smell of alcohol and sweat. Bodies were moving to the music as Mia pulled you towards the bar. You were nearly knocked twice by people too drunk to notice or have body awareness.

Mia had already given you the rundown of what to expect. She had spent at least two hours lecturing you on what goes on. These clubs were not just host to one kind, but all. The fact that you were human would send off a few sense and mixing alcohol in the situation it makes things a bit more dangerous. It had already been decided early on that you both would split up.

Mia leaned in at the bar catching the bartender’s attention and ordered for the both of you. Without turning back.

“Spot him yet?”

Scanning the crowd, you look over the bodies, none of them striking familiarity. It isn’t until you scan the private section where the tables are do you find him.

Mia receives the drinks, handing you the soda. Stealthily she looked over spotting the area of where you were looking.

“I’m not getting good vibes Y/n.”

You nearly snorted into your drink. “It’s a club of course you don’t. This place is grimy and full of fuck boy energy.”

Her lips lift in a smile, but it doesn’t stay. “I’m serious.” Biting her lower lip in uncertainty, leaning in she spoke into your ear, “Are you sure about this?”

“Yeah.” An important detail you left out was telling her that he was a rogue. You knew that just like Jin she would talk you out of it. To her he was just a douchebag and you were just an ordinary girl hitting on him.

“I’ll come find you. Don’t do anything stupid okay.”

You nodded. She disappeared into the crowd weaving into the swaying bodies dancing seamlessly, leaving you at the bar.

You spotted him leaning into a woman, holding her by the hips and grinding to the beat. She wasn’t any woman you had found on his social media before. You snuck photos pretending to take selfies then going through a few other apps. Seeing him move away from her at the change of the song you took your cue. Moving through the dance floor you approximated yourself. Your heart was beating in your fingertips, fist tightly clutching at your drink. Steps beside him you went into action. Stumbling slightly in front of him, you spilled your drink on his black slacks. He growled as soon as the cold liquid spilled all over him.

Trying to swipe off the drink, “What the fuck!”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” You played up to the image of innocence and a naïve human.

He paused in his attempt at brushing off the liquid. “A human. What are you doing here sweetheart?” When his eyes meet yours, they don’t just look they linger. The girl he had been speaking to completely forgotten. His eyes flicker down from your face to your body, lingering in erogenous zones before meeting your eyes again. Pretending you didn’t notice, you suppress the urge to smile knowing he’s playing into it.

Now that you were closer you couldn’t deny that the guy was attractive. It made sense how he was able to play so many. His tousled hair was dark and silky. His eyes were piercing and intimidating.

Seokjin’s words ringing in your ear again. Don’t know how much longer we have until he turns. Why did you have to think of him now at all times.

Touching his leg over the stain you squeezed it suggestively still pretending innocence of attempting to clean it. “I’m so sorry. I’m such a clutz.”

“Hold on princess. Take me to dinner first.” He grabbed your hand, but kept it over his legs.

You couldn’t explain it, you felt his touch turning nausea within you.

“Can I pay you to get it cleaned?”

“This thing? I got twenty more, its fine.”

You leaned in, putting your hand on his chest. “Is there another way I can repay you?”

That had him quirking his brows before a twisted grin bloomed on his face. “Got any ideas babygirl?”

You leaned in, playing with a button on his button up. “I can think of a few wolf boy.”

He growled clearly taking on the challenge. “My names Daniel and don’t forget it baby girl.”

He leaned in to capture your lips but you turned to the side. You whispered into his ears, chuckling, “Don’t tease me baby. you’re going to bring the beast out in me.”

Pretending his words were stimulating, you giggled, tossing your head back. Biting your lip you gave him a doe eyed look, “Let’s take this somewhere else.” Blinking up at him, “Please.”

He took your hand leading you through the crowd. You didn’t have time to search for Mia in the crowd, but you had hoped she saw you. He moved towards the back towards an exit door. He pushed open the door you were pulled out into the back alley. As soon as the door closes the noise of the club softened, and Daniel’s labored breathing is the loudest sound. Fog had settled in over the city, and you could see a group of guys lingering just at the entrance, the ember of their cigarette light.

Stepping closer to you he caged you against the damp brick wall. His overwhelming smell of alcohol was suffocating as he leaned in with a smirk on his lips. He leaned in close enough that his breath fanned over the side of your face. Moaning and humming, “You smell like a bitch, hard to believe your just human baby girl.”

“I’ve always had a bit of wild in me.” You smirked.

Throwing his head back as he laughed, then lowering his head following with a groan. He bit the bait. He presses himself closer to you, enjoying the soft curves of yore body against his. Leaning in to speak with hot breath into your ear, “I can tame you. You’d like it if I’d put you in your place right.”

Goosebumps pimpled over your whole being, except it wasn’t because of him. Something changed in the air. Your heart began beating faster in your chest, like a radar beeping when a target was nearing. Breaking eye contact with Daniel you turned towards the alley where your instincts were indicating something was coming. In turn you exposed your neck to him. Daniel rumbled contently in appreciation at your action. He leaned in sniffing your skin, trailing his nose along the column. The action having your stomach twist in a sudden nausea.

The radar in your chest pinged its loudest as through the dense, grey fog you saw red eyes. A shadowed figured, large and imposing, began taking form of the owner of the red eyes. They were heading towards you at a face pace like when a predator locked in on its prey. A harrowing growl comes from the shadow sends a shiver down your spine. Daniel was so lost in your scent he didn’t realize the figure coming at breakneck speed.

When the figure was close enough you finally caught a glimpse of the shadow.

In a whisper, “Jin.”

Fire burned in his eyes, as he struck like a missile. It all happened in a blur of motion; Daniel was ripped from hovering over you. The vicious growls that came from both beings was terrifying. Jin’s anger had always been cold and blunt. You had only seen it once before, but even then, that time feels minute to what happened in front of you. You had never seen him fight before. Fist struck and the sound of bone cracking was like thunder. It was gruesome.

Daniel lost his balance, his eyes turning red as well. Their heavy breathing steamed around their mouth, their fangs elongated to their lower lip. Daniel twitched seemingly resisting shifting fully. However, Jin was the larger of the two, his body partially shifted. His muscles bulged against the fabric of his clothes. The buttons of his dress shirt barely maintained against this broad chest. His sleeves were rolled up, veins pulsing against his muscular forearms. He was out for blood.

“What the fuck man! Get your own bitch!” Daniel growled at Jin, still maintaining his goal of getting you. When Daniel’s eyes shifted over to you, Jin charged him as the scent of lust filled the air. He grabbed at Daniel’s throat, moving backwards until he slammed him to the wall. He held him growling out words you couldn’t make out until he felt Daniel fall unconscious. His heart was still beating. Released him and let him slump to the floor, hovering over him like a predator.

“Jin.” The quiet whisper of his nickname has him coming back down to earth. He whipped around finding you leaning against the wall, knees weak. Your eyes were wide taking in his face. His eyes the deepest red you’ve ever seen, fangs over his lips, and body near feral. However, as soon as he sees that you, it dropped from him and he looking more like a puppy. He hurried over to you. Instead of greeting he grabbed your chin and angled your head to the side to get a glance at your neck. He breathed a sigh of relief. He was still more wolf than man at the moment. He leaned forward and whined. Your heart stopped in your chest. His body was warm sending a shiver down your spine. His scent was comforting. You hate how good it feels, you hate that your body relaxed instantly when he came to save you. As if you already know everything was going to be alright. To trust and rely on him felt so foreign, but so familiar.

He pulled away but you were so close you could make out his eyelashes individually. He growled, “What were you doing!”

Suddenly what you had been trying to forget comes back full force. Why was he acting like he cared so much? You curled in on yourself, the pettiness returning. “I could’ve handled myself.”

“Oh really? You were just going to let him mark you?” He seethed with an anger like wildfire.

You tried to remain indifferent. “I don’t see what the problem is. It’s just a bite, it’ll heal. I’m not one of you.”

Ignoring him, you pulled your phone out from your pocket showing him that you had a recording going. “I got it.” You pressed pause and saved the file. You hadn’t realized your hands were shaking, the adrenaline of it all still coursing through you.

His brows furrowed. “What?”

“I recorded everything. I even took pictures of him with other women. We can use this as evidence.”

“Y/n?” The moment shatters and you search for the familiar sound of your name.

You see your friend stumbling drunkenly through the door out into the empty alleyway.

“I’m here to save you!” For being a kind, her alcohol tolerance was low. She turned towards you, squinting her eyes. “Whoa, who’s the hot guy? Was I interrupting something.”

You pushed Jin away from you slipping past him to support her as her ankle kept rolling due to the uneven asphalt.

Jin didn’t bother smirking or returning the understanding. He was still beyond pissed.

She looked down to the passed out man, “Holy shit.” She looked to Seokjin, seeing the remnants of his partial shift as he hadn’t bothered to transition back. There was a silent understanding of one another between them as he could tell she was the same as him.

“You were supposed to keep watch, how could you get drunk?”

“I didn’t mean to, I was feeling really nervous about all this. I needed to calm my nerves, so I had a few drinks.”

“We’ll talk in the office.” You directed your words to Seokjin before you began walking away with Mia.

“No, I’m taking you home.”

Mia wiggled her eyebrows. “Can you stay forever?”

You shushed her, bewildered by her behavior. The intense glare he was giving you had you agreeing. “Fine.”

Walking towards his car in silence. She squinted, then her eyes then widened thinking she was whispering to you, “Oh my god is he the one you’ve been talking nonstop about.”

You hush her. “Shut up.”

Through the walk Jin had shifted himself back. A black Audi RS7 beeped as Jin unlocked his car. Mia whistled, “He’s rich.”

“Mia!” You whisper yelled at her. “Please, behave!”

She nodded holding her hands up in an apology. “I’ll behave. I’ll behave.”

You slip into the back with Mia. Her head falls on your shoulder. You gave him your address. He presses the car to start and pulls away. Not long your friend falls asleep, her head falling asleep on your shoulder. You caught him looking at you a few times through the rear-view mirror, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything.

Pulling in the parking lot of your complex, Jin got out first then opened the door for you. He helped you with Mia and supported her up.

Going to the first floor of your apartment complex you made sure Jin was following you with Mia. Shoving the key in your door you let him in, leading him through your apartment to her room. He laid her down onto her bed. You began helping take her shoes off, Jin leaving to go to the living room. Taking a moment to help her clean up and ready for bed. She smiled at you partially awake, partially asleep.

“What?” You smiled back.

Giggling, “He likes you too.”

You froze, staring at her incredulously before you played it off as she was too drunk to know what she was talking about. “You’re drunk go to sleep.”

She shook her head. She grabbed your hand staring you directly in the eyes. “No, I’m sure.”  

“He already has a mate.”

Her eyebrows squinted. “No he doesn’t. He doesn’t smell like it.”

You refrained form rolling your eyes. “You wolves and your weird olfactory fixation.”

She sighed then let go, allowing her eyes to close as she fell asleep. You remained crouched by her bed, trying to decipher her words. Jin, didn’t have a mate? And liked you? She must mean that he tolerated you, civil at most. The kiss the other day meant nothing, you were sure of it. It was spur of the moment, high stress and you both didn’t know what you were doing.

She was drunk what did she know.

Standing up with a click to your knees you groaned, you were exhausted. The adrenaline finally wearing away of what happened earlier. Seeing Jin standing in your living room was awkward. He was looking at the photos on the wall. Specifically staring at a photo of when you were younger and Jin was also in it. You both looked so happy, with paint on both of your faces and white shirts.

You hesitate, weirdly feeling as if you were caught with something you should be. “Kinda hard not finding a picture of the old days without you in it.”

He looked at you, putting his hand down from touching the edge of the frame.

When he says nothing you clear your throat, “Thank you.”

He turned towards you, sticking his hands in his pockets, humming in acknowledgement.

“I’ll format all the recordings and photos for the—.”

He cut you off. “You looked happy here.” He pointed to the photo next to the one he was touching. It was of you and a few friends at the beach. It was taken the last year of college.

You smirked. “Hey, I know how to have fun. I’m not all business.”

He smirked, “Would’ve fooled me.” You knew he was poking fun. This time you enjoyed it. Turning to you. “You even turned our night off into a work night, at a club no less.”

You couldn’t argue there, in steading biting your bottom of your lip. He follow the motion before looking up. Clearing your throat you changed the subject.  “He said that I was his mate.”

His whole body stiffened. “Impossible.” He crossed the room closer to you, just stopping a foot away.

You looked up at him, the sudden hostility throwing you off. He scanned you over once more. “Are you sure you’re alright? He didn’t touch you?”

“No.” You fought off the blush that threatened to rise to your cheeks. The attentiveness he was giving you was doing things to your heart that you promised yourself you wouldn’t let happen again. You flush suddenly remembering how soft his lips feel.

Nodding seemingly distracted with his thoughts. “I’ll look into that.” He began making his way towards the door and you followed. He stood outside your doorway.

He hesitated before nodding, as if he had contemplated something. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” You returned the words in a soft whisper.

He began walking away towards his car.

“Jin.”

He turned around.

“How’d you know where to find me?”

He paused, his face clearly. Your heart nearly stopped in your chest when a smile, an expression you haven’t seen on him. Jin looked like his old self.  “I just went where the wild things are. I knew I’d find you there.”

You laughed, “I hate you.”

A smirk came back to his lips. “Don’t go soft on me now, Y/n.”

You watched him slip into his car before going inside. Alone with yourself you felt unsettled. Lately, it had been happening more. You chalked it up to being stressed, but stress was a constant in your life. This emotion was blaringly obvious to you, but you didn’t understand. Why did him leaving leave a hint of sadness.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, totally. I’ll catch up with you soon.”

Logan pulled a face saying he wasn’t convinced. The others had already gathered their stuff and were heading towards the elevators. Yoongi suddenly threw his arm around Logan’s shoulders. “Let’s go. I need a drink.”

You couldn’t help but smile biting back laughter. Yoongi was a man of few words, but he always knew when to insert himself.  

You turn back to your desk when they’re out of sight. In all truth you didn’t want to go. You wanted peace, and despite wanting to follow the social cues it was the last thing you needed right now.

Accompanied by the lone light from your desk, the silence of the office greets you in full embrace. The electronic whorl of central air kicking on. You busy yourself with “last-minute” paperwork you had purposefully withheld on doing, knowing this celebrating was coming. The case had gone incredibly well, it was easy to prove the divorce with your added evidence. It was set to go to secondarily trial within the kind’s court. You just needed to give yourself enough time to know they were out of the building and you could go home.

“Y/n?”

You looked over your shoulder. Seokjin stood there, you could see wear of the day on him but it somehow painted him like oil paint. His hair was disheveled, and the top buttons of his white button up were undone.

“I forgot my wallet.”

You hum. It’s a bit awkward. Watching him round the desk to his in silence. Ever since you had turned in the case over to Yoongi, you had distanced yourself from him. There had been no incentive to not go because of him. It had been a looming idea over your head though that after this you weren’t going to be seeing him.

He held up his wallet, “Found it.”

“You found it.”

He swallowed tucking it in his pocket. He rounded the desk standing just near yours. His hand was clenched in a fist, words on the tip of his tounge.

“Well, it was great working with you Y/n.”

Standing up you extend out your hand. Staring at it for a moment his eyes soften taking yours in his.

“The truce was sufficient after all.” He joked.

“Don’t get too soft on me now.” You joked back.

He smiled. The handshake had long outlived itself, but you still held his and he held yours.

“Well, this is goodbye.” When you tried letting go his grip tightened. “Jin?”

“I can’t. I can’t keep pretending.”

“Pretending?”

“Pretending I’m okay with you walking out of my life again. Pretending that I’m not effected by you. I can’t. I can’t handle it for the second time.”

His logic was flawed. You didn’t allow your heart to pick up pace, fall into his words. “What do you mean? You said you didn’t need me.”

“I lied. I never meant what I said then. I never wanted to hurt you or push you away.”

Your eyes flicker about his face, looking for signs of deception but couldn’t find it. “Then, why did you?”

“I couldn’t control it, I couldn’t control my wolf. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Hurt me? Jin, you wouldn’t have hurt me.”

“No, I would have. I couldn’t control it back then, the urges were too intense. I’m weak when it comes to you.”

“You can’t mean that.”

“I do though. I was weak, and whenever you would come near me it became harder to control. The night I found you I couldn’t think straight. Now though, I can’t deny it anymore, I know what I want. And I want you.”

“What do you mean? Don’t you have a mate, what are you talking about?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well don’t you?”

“I’m not seeing anyone or have claimed anyone—yet.”

You pausing looking at his distraught face.

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“You don’t?”

“No.” His touches were romantic.

“Well I still don’t see what this conversation has to do with me.” , “Look, I’m not here to get mixed up in whatever.”

“Are you really that oblivious? Do you really not see it?”

“See what?”

He groaned rubbing his hands over his face. “Y/N, you’re killing me here.”

“It’s you. You are my mate.”

Everything froze around you.

Your hands trailed up his chest to wrap around his neck.

“My mate.”

“What?” You freeze. Attempting to put all the pieces of the puzzle together none of it makes sense to you. “You said so yourself humans can’t be mates.”

“I didn’t know how to tell you. You aren’t bound by the same instincts or rules that I am. I was worried, I thought it was only me who felt something. But it’s you, always has been.”

He pulled you closer, and you didn’t fight him.

“Please, I’ll tell you everything, but I need to know. Do you feel the same?”

You swallowed hard. “I do.”

His body melted. “Do you mean that?”

You rolled your eyes. Your hands were around his neck, pulling him down and your lips crashing onto his even before he could finish that sentence. The sudden softness in the midst of the charged tension had you even more sure that you wanted this. The electricity just a kiss from him confirmed it all. You did feel the same way, have for a long time. He reciprocated gripping the sides of your waist and lips moving in tandem with yours. All the built-up tension from before exploded as your tongue brushing against his.

You push him away needing to breath. Tucking his head into your neck he presses kisses into your skin not wanting to part from you. “Why were you so worried? Didn’t you know that I was your mate before?”

“No, we can only begin to find our mates after we’ve fully shifted.“

Finding a place between your neck and collar he nipped at the flesh causing you to moan and shiver. Appreciating the sound he dug his hand deeper into your hair angling your head so he could access it better. “I knew it was you for sure after I shifted, but you were human and I didn’t understand. I had always been told that a mate couldn’t be human. But its been you all along. My elders had tried to talk me out of it, they had tried to keep me away from you. It didn’t help that I had so much to learn after shifting. It didn’t change anything, I kept looking for you. From the first time I found myself in your closet, I was too young to understand destiny, but its always been you.”

You didn’t realize how much you wanted to hear those words from him until he admitted it.

“Why? Why were you so mean.”

“I couldn’t get your attention otherwise.”

You giggled into eachother mouth. “Dumbass, all of this could have been avoided.”

He pinched at your side causing you to shriek.

“Let me take you home.” His voice is low and sweet, and drips like honey.

It takes a second to register what he said, awestruck by how much the words feel common place. “Okay.”

He chases your lips before pulling you along with him. “Wait! I need to get my stuff.”

You laugh at the whine that comes form him as you collect your things form your desk. When you turn around he has his hand extended and you tangle your hand in his. You can’t get the smile off your face. The next movements are rushed as you find yourself in his car. His hand tangles back in yours as soon as he’s in the drivers’ seat.

It takes all about fifteen minutes to get to Jin’s apartment. The moments in between getting there were filled with tension as his hand no longer was just content holding yours but clenching over your thigh and kneading the flesh. Upon reaching his unit he fumbled with the code for a few seconds. When he finally had you inside he pressed himself to you. He no longer appeared to be completely human. His fangs were extended, eyes gleaming red, and he at you like a man starved. He rolls his hips to your center, letting you feel the evidence of his erection tight against his slacks. “Tell me what you want. Anything you want, you can have it.”

“Jin.” You moaned at the feeling of him pressed against your center. You wanted all of him, but you didn’t know how to voice it all. You wanted to feel his weight on top of you, feel him within you and to hold him against you. You wanted more than just that though, but words felt unfulfilling besides his name.

“You really don’t realize what you do to me.” He grabbed under your thighs lifting you up so that your legs rested over his arms while he supported you against the wall. He grinded into you again, his hot breath fanning over your face before he sloppily kissed you.

“You turn me into a beast.”

He shifted so that your legs were wrapped around his waist and he held onto you tightly as he moved towards his bedroom. It all happens so quickly. You were pressed down on his bed with him hovering over you. He tugged at your shirt silently asking for permission to remove it which you give him happily. He pulled it off you delicately, as if you were an art piece he was afraid of breaking. He reached behind you an unhook your bra, tossing it.

He stared for a few moments. You wanted to cross your arms over your chest but he stopped you.

“Beautiful.” He swallowed harshly. He leans down trailing his nose along your sternum before nuzzling at your breast. His hand trailed up the side of your body before reaching your breast and kneading the flesh. His thumb traces over your nipple until they pebbled. With the other his mouth sucked marked into your flesh before taking your nipple into his mouth. You release soft gasp at the gentle pleasure. He switched showering each breast with kisses and small bites until they were both marked.

He propped himself up as he moved his mouth down from your chest to your stomach, caressing your sides. He moved until he was nestled between your legs. Sitting back on his heels he reaches for the waistband of your skirt again asking for permission. Intoxicated on the feeling you nod at him lazily. He pulled it down landing somewhere with your other clothes.

He spread your legs wider fitting himself between your legs. You were so wet that the fabric of your panties stuck to you. Using the slick he traced his finger over your slit, focusing on your clit. Your back arched off the bed, bowing towards the ceiling. It was a simple touch, but you were hypersensitive to his touch. With his face between your legs he looks deliriously in bliss.

The dichotomy of his nature made him an anomaly. He was domineering but tender in each of his approaches. Each motion was made with love, but eagerness to feel you. No partner you’ve had before had been so attentive, trekking your body as it was meant to be explored and learned.

“Shit, Y/n, you’re so wet. Is this all for me?”

You gasped his name when he leaned in and pressed a kiss to your clit. He chuckled, “Is my name the only thing you can say now?”

You flushed, “Stop teasing me.”

He pressed a kiss to your knee soothing the teasing.

“Fuck, you smell so ready for me.”

“Please.” You pleaded breathlessly.

“Just a taste, please.”

You nodded threading your hands through his hair. He hooked his fingers in your panties and pulled them down tossing them somewhere in the room. Yanking you forward and closer to him he spreads your legs for him putting you on full display. Kissing up your thighs moving closer to your center. When he places a kiss on your mound before he begins to gently. He sighed against your folds. “Delicious.”

He taste you longer than just a sample as he buries his head between your legs. The sounds of your moans and mewls awaken the cavernous part of him. He growled, the sound sending shivers down your spine and making you even wetter.

“Jin!” you gasp, as he eats you out. When he pushes a finger inside you can’t help but tighten your grip on his hair. It felt so good, the stretch was sending your sensitivity to overdrive. It has been a long time since you’ve had sex with someone, but your cunt was accepting his finger easily. He worked you up and slipped another finger inside you, the stretch causing you to screw your eyes shut. Letting out a pained cry of pleasure and a bit of sting from the stretch.

“Doing so good for me Y/n.” His fingers moved to spread you open, to let him in. He watched you from between your legs as he increased his pace when he felt you relax a bit around him.

He was driving you crazy, the sounds he was admitting as if he was enjoying it more than you was such a turn on. No one had ever made you feel this way, as if he wasn’t just touching your body but your soul.  Your pressing your hips upwards, feeling your end coming near. Your pussy clenches around his finger when he keeps stroking that one spot within you. In combination with his lips on your clit and him finger fucking, you had never felt so much pleasure before.

“I’m—.” Your body tenses and you can feel yourself just on the edge.

“Come for me.” His words commanded you and like a band you snapped. Your walls pulsed around his finger as he kept you through your orgasm. He pulled his fingers out of you, licking them clean. When he seems your release dripping down from your entrance he leaned down licking it up. He pressed his tongue inside you. The action surprising and jerk, but you couldn’t move away. His tongue moved languidly and rhythmically within you until he was content. He continued to lap of your sweet release until you pushed him away.

He crawled over you. “So good for me. Fate couldn’t have chosen a better mate.” His words were possessive but you didn’t mind it. The word mate fell off his lips so easily.

You came down from the high gradually, chest heaving, and eyes

You see that he was still hesitant to let it through. You reached up cupping his face, gently tracing your thumb. “Let go.”

“I can’t. I don’t want to hurt you.” He peppers kisses along your collarbone.

Your fingers make quick work of his shirt. You pause to admire his broad chest. It had been .

He grabs your hand before you reach for the button of his pants.

“Do you really know what this means. Know what I mean when I say you’re my mate and want you?”

“Yes, mark me. Claim me. I want you. I want all of you.”

“Even if it means forever?”

“yes.”

He allows you to undress the rest of him, he kicks off his pants and underwear and he’s completely bare before you.

His endowment makes your thighs clench. His cock was hard, thick and throbbing, the tip ozzing.

Coming down to his elbows he fits himself snuggly between your thighs, cock brushing your pussy. He reaches between you gathering your slick before spreading it over his cock. He teases your pussy by teasing your entrance, and with your slick he coats his cock with it.

“I’m going to fill you with my cum y/n. Knot you so none of it spills out.” He rubbed your hips. “You’d look so beautiful swollen with my pups.”

You couldn’t help but tremble, excitement filling your veins. You wanted to be sated, to feel him inside you already.

“I want it Jin.”

‘Anything for you, my love.”

That was the last warning you got before he was pressing into you. He watched your face as he filled with you with this thick length. You cried out, as you fisted the sheet under you. “Oh my god.”

His grip tightened on your hips enough you were sure they were going to bruise later. He was trembling just as much as you were. Slowly sinking in you he pumped until he was full seated inside you.

“Holy shit, this is way better than I’ve ever imagined.” He paused allowing you to adjust to his size.  

When you shifted against him he took it as a cue to finally move. He pulled out almost the full way before he was sliding back in slowly. It drew out a choked moan from the both of you. His length dragged against your walls hitting that spot each time.

“Harder, please, harder!” You cried out. You trusted him enough to know he would keep his strength in check. You knew he could crush you, as lifting you earlier seemed like nothing to him.

The pace was gentle until he picked up a merciless pace. Each powerful thrust pushed him in deeper to you. You were quickly unraveling approaching your second orgasm in record time. The sensation of everything was addicting as you lost yourself in the pleasure. Tears built in the corner of your eyes.

He mouthed at your neck murmuring, “My mate. My sweet little mate, so good for me. Taking me so well.”

Nearing your orgasm you began trembling in his embrace. “Come again for me, my love. Give it to me.”

You clenched around him, shattering around his cock and in the same moment he sunk his fangs sunk in between your neck and shoulder. The pain meshed with the pleasure into an addictive eliquer that flooded your system.

He kept going. “Too much Jin!”

Licking clean the marking he pulled away from your neck. He pressed your legs up into your chest. He could see his cock going in and out of your swollen lips. He kept pounding into you, somehow reaching deeper into you. “I’m going to fill you up, love. Do you want it baby?”

You nodded. “Give it to me.” Tears were spilling form your eyes from the overstimulation.

With a final slam of his hips his length swelled inside you spilling his seed within you. When you expected it to end his length was still swelling at the base.

“Jin, what’s happening?” Your nails dug into his shoulders.

“Shhh, baby, its okay.” His mouth slipped back over to your neck, kissing over the fresh mark. He peppered you with affection as his hands soothed your flesh. He relaxed your legs until they wrapped around his waist holding you close.

Just when you thought you couldn’t take anymore the knot stopped swelling. You heaved, panting slightly from the painful stretch.

“You did so well.”

You smiled, pulling him to your lips to kiss. The way he was looking at you as if you were his world had you reaching up to cover your face.

“What just happened?”

He stilled, “Do you regret it?”

You pulled your hands away form his face. “No, no, no.” He easily succumbs when you pull him closer to you. You rub your nose against his back and forth, wanting to return the affection. “It was perfect.”

He flushed crimson.

 You spend hours after within eachothers embrace, even when his knot swelled down. You talked, whispered words of affection to eachother and fell into eachothers embrace again. Like the first time his touch is gentle, he praises the moon for bringing him to you. He leaves no part of you untouched, and you his.

You feel at home for the first time in a long time.

When the sun rises, you wake in his arms, head in the crook of his neck, as he held you tightly to his chest. Bodies still bare, you both felt there was no need to cover, he had his hand over your hip. Breathing in the scent of him and . The silence doesn’t feel uncomfortable. The sound of his heartbeat in your ear was calming.

Slowly pulling away from his neck you reach up and caress his face. With your thumb you trace under his eye and cheek with a butterflies touch.

“I love you.”

He smiles. “No. I’m supposed to say it first.”

You quirk a brow at him. “Who says so?”

He opened his eyes, the trails of sleep still evident. “I do. I love you, always have.” He captures your lips in his.

“You stayed.”

You pulled away. “Of course, I would.”

He smiled. “I know, but to have you here. In my bed. Next to me. It all seems like I’m still dreaming.”

“Oh my god, you’re so cheesy, you dork.”

“But you like it.”

Giggling as he peppers kisses all over your face you manage to worm out of his embrace. You jump out of bed. Taking his dress shirt from off the floor you toss it over yourself buttoning up a few buttons. “Don’t sour the sweetness too soon, wolf boy.” You let the last word roll but with no real malice. You know the word will rile him up.

From the bed he watched you. He had never seen anyone more beautiful. You had his heart that was for sure. He tossed the blanket off of himself chasing after you. “You take that back.”

You giggled running down his hall and out of sight with him chasing right behind you.

Even after the wildest journey, some things in life, like home, just won’t change.

[fruitcoops]

Hey I was wondering if you could write something kinda angsty but with a pretty ending with the cubs, I’m trynna project getting stood up and turning it into something nice and good, even if it’s just in my head. No pressure but I just wanna smile for a bit and your work always makes me do so :)))

Hello lovely! I’m so sorry that you were stood up--that feels awful and whoever did it missed out on a wonderful person. I’ve combined this with some other asks in the same vein (y’all wanted my boys to hurt) so I hope you don’t mind. Sending love and hugs your way! Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove​ <3

1. Bad mental health day for Finn + pushing himself too hard + passing out (ft. Bee anon!)

2. O’Knutzy boiling over with a fluffy ending

3. Insecure Leo

TW for internalized guilt, vaguely implied self-harm (pushing himself too hard at practice), and relationship arguments

Finn had a few bad habits. He left dirty dishes in the sink, could never remember which setting the laundry was supposed to go on, and barely wiped his shoes on the doormat before entering the house. He wasn’t proud of his flaws, but he acknowledged that everyone had some—as long as they didn’t hurt anybody, it wasn’t the end of the world.

This one…this one was different. Even Finn knew that.

He gritted his teeth for the next set of squats, ignoring the ringing in his ears and the climbing nausea in his gut. The chart only said to do three reps, but he had been beating himself up for slacking a set earlier in the week and decided to do five to make up for it.

That, it seemed, was a poor decision.

His thighs were shaking when he finally put the weight down and he leaned on the wall to stabilize himself. “Fish? You okay?” Logan asked from the yoga mat to his right, staring up at him in concern.

“I’m fine,” Finn lied. “Just straightened up too fast.”

“D’accord.” He could feel Logan’s eyes on his back as he left the gym and headed toward the showers.

Finn’s worst habit was taking care of himself, and it wasn’t something that could be explained away as “oh, silly Harzy” like the washing machine. He made a mental note to take some ibuprofen before driving home so he would be marginally less sore in the morning, but he had the sinking feeling it would be a rough practice the next day.

Remus and Talker were playing some sort of volleyball with an old balloon between their stalls when he entered; he missed getting nailed in the head by a narrow margin and waved off their apologies with a forced smile.

A hand closed around his bicep as he passed, snapping him back to reality as Leo’s bright eyes came into focus. “Hey, lovey, is Lo with you?”

“He’s finishing up.”

A small furrow appeared between Leo’s brows. “Is something wrong?”

“Nope.” Finn faked a yawn and stretched his arm over Leo’s shoulder, dragging him down for a kiss on the cheek. “Cap’s workout just kicked my ass today.”

“That’s what they’re supposed to do,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes playfully as he passed. “You’re not a rookie anymore, O’Hara.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright.”

Logan entered the locker room a few minutes later; Finn closed his eyes and breathed in the thick steam of the shower until the fog in his head cleared a bit and he couldn’t feel the skin on his shoulders. It billowed off him as he dressed again and tossed the keys to Leo, who raised his eyebrows. “Me?”

“You. There’s a little bit of slush left, and you still need to learn how to drive in it.” And I feel like I’m going to pass out at any minute. He swallowed down the last thought and pasted a teasing grin on his face—what Leo and Logan didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them. It was his own fault for being lazy in the past.

-----------------------

What Leo and Logan didn’t know apparently did hurt them. In hindsight, Finn should have seen that coming before he passed out in the middle of a scrimmage.

The lights of the coach’s office made his headache even worse. “Care to explain?” Arthur asked in a voice like frost. To his left, Sirius was glowering.

“I already told Hestia—”

“Yeah, I know what you told Hestia,” Arthur interrupted. “I want to hear it directly from you.”

Finn sighed through his nose and picked at a stray thread on his jersey. “I…I pushed myself a little too hard at yesterday’s practice and didn’t say anything when I started feeling bad.”

“Why.” Sirius’ eyes were hard as flint.

“Because I didn’t want to be a pain in the ass! I can handle some aching muscles, it’s not a big deal!”

“Not a—”

Arthur put his hand on Sirius’ shoulder. “That’s enough, Black. O’Hara, I want you to look me in the eyes.” Finn raised his head. “This was a dumbass mistake and all of us expected better from you. Your safety and health come before any workout routine, and it is your responsibility to speak up before you scare the shit out of us by dropping like a rock.”

“I’m sorry, Coach.”

“Apology accepted. I also want you to call Heather when you get home and schedule an appointment with her.” Some of Arthur’s frustration melted into genuine concern and guilt crawled up Finn’s throat. “Doing that to yourself isn’t healthy, Finn. You’re a good man, smart, and I know you know better.”

“Can we talk for a second?” Sirius asked quietly, glancing at Arthur. He nodded and left the room.

“I’m sorry.”

“What the fuck, Finn?” Sirius ran a hand down his face, suddenly pale. “What the fuck was that?”

“It was stupid.”

“Yeah, no, I got that part.”

“I slacked off a set on Monday.”

“Wow, nobody’s ever done that before,” he said sarcastically, sitting down in the chair by the wall as Finn resumed messing with his hem. “You scared the hell out of all of us.”

“I know.”

“You know I’m not mad at you, right? I’m upset that you thought you had to do that at all.”

Tears prickled the backs of Finn’s eyes. “I know.”

“I’m sure as hell not your coach or your dad, but I’m going to say this as your friend, okay?” Sirius leaned over into Finn’s field of view. “Whatever you need, I’m here for you. This team wouldn’t be the same without you. I wouldn’t be the same without you. We need you to take care of yourself, Harzy.”

Finn nodded silently and Sirius gave his hand a quick squeeze, which he returned. “Does everyone know?”

“I told them you were under the weather, nothing more.”

“Classic media answer.” He tried and failed to crack a smile. “Thanks for not telling on me.”

“That’s not my job. My job is herding cats on ice skates for five hours a day.”

Finn’s smile was real that time and he managed a light laugh as he swiped away the dampness on his cheeks. “Love you, man.”

“Love you, too.” Sirius helped him stand up and hugged him tight for a second before letting go. “Speaking as someone who used to do the exact same thing, talking to Heather makes a world of difference.”

“I’ll give her a call.”

The cold feeling returned to Finn’s gut when they stepped out of the office; Leo and Logan were waiting by the opposite wall, looking angrier than Finn had ever seen. Sirius patted his shoulder once before walking off down the hallway toward the locker room, where he would no doubt deflect even more questions.

“Hey,” Finn said, barely above a whisper. Logan continued to stare at the ground.

“You lied to us,” Leo said bluntly. “Several times. Both of us asked if you were alright and you told us you were fine.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I accept your apology, but I don’t understand.” He ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. “Finn, this isn’t how we deal with things. We agreed to be a team.”

Finn bit his lip. I fucked this one up. “We did. I am so sorry for scaring you—”

“We’re not mad that you scared us,” Logan snapped, still looking anywhere but his face. “We’re upset that you refuse to take care of yourself and then lied to us about it.”

Leo nudged Logan’s shoulder before turning back. “Why did you do that, Finn?”

“I didn’t want to fall behind. I was just trying to make up for the set I skipped on Monday.”

“What? Twenty squats and some pushups? That’s not worth your health, honey.” The pet name soothed the terror clutching Finn’s heart and he took a deep breath. They still loved him. This wasn’t the end.

“It was a stupid thing to do and it won’t happen again.”

“Good. Let’s go home.” Logan grabbed his duffel bag off the ground and started walking toward the door; Leo looked like he was going to say something, but Finn gently took his elbow.

“He’s going to need a minute,” he said under his breath. Logan was a hothead about many things, but lying was in the top three. Finn knew he hurt him deep.

“Did you…” Leo trailed off and pressed his lips together as they followed Logan into the parking lot. “Did you feel like you couldn’t tell me?”

Finn shook his head. “No. This was all on me.”

“It’s just that I know I’m younger than both of you and I’m new to the hockey lifestyle, but I never want you to think you can’t trust me—”

“Leo.” Finn stopped walking and tugged on Leo’s hand, turning him around. Worry was painted all over his face and it sliced to Finn’s core. “I trust you and Logan with everything, but I got into my head about this and I wasn’t thinking about how it would hurt you. Please believe that.”

Leo sighed. “I do. I just don’t get it.”

“Neither do I, to be honest.” Logan was already sitting in the car with his headphones on as they crossed the lot. “It’s going to take him a while to talk to me, isn’t it?”

“He was really upset.”

“We’ll figure this out.” He tightened his grip on Leo’s hand. “We’ve made it through worse.”

-----------------------------

The apartment crackled with tension until Finn literally had to stick his head out the open window to get a breath of fresh air. Waves of frustration and hurt rolled off Logan, though he still refused to look Finn in the eyes.

After dinner, Leo slid into the armchair before Logan could get there, leaving only the couch available. They carefully sat on opposite sides—Finn stole glances at Logan out of the corner of his eye for the entire first half of the movie. Ninety minutes of action later, he felt something chilly poking at his calf.

Logan kept his gaze trained on the TV as he scooted his freezing toes under Finn’s legs. Relief flooded Finn’s veins; he felt a little like crying, but instead schooled his expression into a small smile and rested his hand on Logan’s ankle, where it stayed until the movie ended.

Leo had fallen asleep by that time, splayed out sideways on the cushion with his face smushed against the armrest. “Il est mignon,” Logan said softly. There was a beat of silence and he looked over at Finn. “He’s cute.”

“He is.” Finn cleared his throat and met his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Lo. I never meant to hurt you, but I did, and I’m sorry.”

“Promise me you won’t do that again.”

“I won’t.”

Finn had a few bad habits, but backing out on his promises would never be one of them.

[tamakissimp]

senario- selfhate comfort

request: @uhhh-i-like-yaoi​ : Hihiiiii! I loved your last comfort post! Could I have the same bois comforting a female reader who is crying because she doesn’t feel pretty? Tysm!

a/n: ahhh yes. I love writing comfort pieces. I added in some other boys because I ✨felt like it✨

warnings: body issues, insecurity, lack of self confidence

BAKUGOU:

wordcount: 544

The image in the mirror is almost mocking you. The way your own body seems to taunt your mind and pull you into its darkest corners is scary. Scratch that, it's terrifying. You know that the healthy thing to do is to look away. But you can't. Your eyes are fixated on all your flaws. You're so busy with pulling yourself apart from that you don't notice the tears starting to roll down your cheeks.

People often talked about how Bakugou was out of your league. You knew that being with someone as handsome as him you quickly learn that, and most of the times their harmful words don't phase you. But maybe you are a little bit more tired today. Maybe you're feeling a bit more down. You don't know what it is, but those mean words seem to get past your defence and straight into your heart today.

You clasp your hand over your mouth in an attempt to muffle the sound of your crying. Even now, with shaking shoulder and blurry vision, all you can think about is how ugly you like while crying. "Idiot!".

Normally you would whisp your head around at the gruff voice but not today. "Are you there?" Bakugou asks. A set of knocks on your door follows. Normally you would welcome him with open arms but not today. What if he saw you like this? He would think you're weak. Weak. Pathetic. Ugly. Awful. Disgusting.

Another sob wrecks through your body. Bakugou's body stiffens at the sound. His blood runs cold. Without a second thought, he rips the door open. The sight of you, standing in front of the mirror while sobbing makes his heart ache. "Teddybear?". His voice is softer.

You hold your arms open for him. He takes the note and walks over to you before pulling you into a bone-crushing hug. He pets your hair as you sobs seem to get worst. Bakugou mumbles sweet nothings in your ear. All you can do is cling onto him. "What's going on, teddy bear?" he asks.

it takes you a moment before you can reply. Every time you open your mouth to speak another sob wrecks through your body. "I'm ugly," you finally manage to speak. You can feel Bakugou shake his head against your shoulder.

"I-I'm ugly and disgusting and you shouldn't b-be with me," you say. You expect Bakugou to agree with you. You expect him to pull away from you, laugh at you before walking out of your room. But he doesn't.

His arms stay wrapped around you, his grip becoming even tighter as he nuzzles into your neck. "No," he says. You want to disagree but he beats you to speak. "You're pretty. Gorgeous even. And I don't say that to everyone, idiot. You're too good for me.".

"I'll show you," Bakugou says. "I'll show you how pretty you are. I'll teach you how to love yourself....Idiot.". You smile softly. His heart does summersaults as he feels you smile against his shoulder. You nod.

"Okay," you mumble. "Okay. T-teach me how to l-love myself.".

SHOTO:

wordcount: 506

You hate yourself for feeling so down. You hate yourself for not being able to be there for Shouto. You know he needs you. He has more reasons to be self-conscious. Though his face looks like it's sculpted by the gods, the scar that taints his skin is one of his most prominent features.

"Are you alright?" Shouto's calm voice asks. You nod your head. Wrong. You feel bad for lying to him but you don't want to burden him with your problems. Shouto nods. On the outside, he looks fine but he is beating himself up mentally.

He has noticed your distance and he can only fear for the worse. Maybe his biggest fear is becoming reality. That you're planning on breaking up with him, that you're done with dealing with someone as broken as him.

All Shouto does is wrap his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him as you both lay in his bed. You stiffen under his touch. The feeling of his hands running up and down your skin only makes you more self-conscious. Shouto's brows furrow at your action.

"Spit it out," he says. You don't know what it is about his voice, but all of a sudden your eyes fill up with tears. Shouto remains silent until he feels something wet hitting his shirt. He looks down at you only to find you silently crying. He immediately pulls you tighter against him.

"I'm sorry,” you say in between silent sobs. "Fuck, I'm sorry.". Shouto shakes his head as he sits up a bit straighter. He rocks the two of you slightly in an attempt to comfort you.

He's still socially awkward but you're teaching him how to deal with emotions, which includes how to comfort someone. He uses your tips as he searches his mind for anything he did that might upset you. He rubs his hands up and down your back, strokes your hair while sushing you softly.

"Do you...want to break up with me?". His voice cracks at the end of the sentences. He can't imagine a world without but he would rather break up than be in an unhappy relationship. Relief washes through him as you shake your head.  

"No, never," you say. You stay silent for a moment. It's best to just rip the bandaid off quickly. "I'm ugly.". The moment the words leave your lips, violent sobs wreck through your body. Shouto stays quiet which you take as he agrees with you.

You pry yourself out of his arms and beeline towards the door. Shouto stops you, though. His hand wraps around your wrist before he spins you around, pulling you into his chest. You fight against him but to no avail.

"Never, ever, say that again," he says. His voice isn't cold like it normally is. "You're beautiful. Inside and out. I know you won't believe me but please do.". All you do is nod against his chest as you run a hand through his two coloured hair. "Please believe me,".

TOKOYAMI:

wordcount: 360

You and Fumikage often talk about your insecurities. Being with someone who's quirk affects their body as much as Fumikage's quirk does, conversations like that start easily. Normally, the two of you will lay on his bed, limbs intertwined while venting out your feelings. So this time is no exception.

Dark shadow lays on the feet end of the bed, his cold fingers running up and down your calves while Fumikage's warm arms encircle your body. Your fingers run over his feathers. You have no clue what he does to them but they always feel like satin between your fingers. "I'm ugly," you blurt out.

The comforting circles Fumikage was once rubbing on your skin now stop. Dark shadows grip on your calves tightens a little. Sure, these sort of thoughts aren't weird to be shared but that didn't make them any easier to hear. "How come?". 

You shrug. You push your face even further against his chest prompting him to resume rubbing your skin. "Look at my face. Look at my body. I'm ugly," you say. It hurts Fumikage how easily you say those words.

In his eyes, you're an angel. Everything you do is a gift from the gods. Yet you have no problem with tearing yourself down. Though he can't judge since he has the same habits. "You are not," he says. You take a deep breath while waiting for him to continue.

"You're beautiful," Fumikage says. "While my words might not affect you now, I do hope that you can one day see yourself through my eyes. I hope that you will see how beautiful you are, my love.". A soft smile spreads against your lips. 

Dark shadow removes its hands from your calf and nuzzles his cheek against it instead. "You talk like an old man.". Even though your tone is happy, Fumikage can sense the sadness laced through it. 

"You love how I talk," he says. You nod. You lean up and press a hast kiss against his beak. Behind his feathers, a blush warms his cheeks. 

"Thank you," you say. "I hope one day you see how handsome you are too, birdman.".

KIRISHIMA:

wordcount: 787

Normally, you didn't feel like this. Being in a relationship with Kirishima meant that he became your personal hypeman. He took any opportunity he got to compliment you and boost your confidence. Lately, however, the UA has been dishing out heaps of homework and training got more intense. This left little time for you two to spend together. You didn't mind, of course not. You support Kirishima's dream of becoming a hero and you knew it would be like this eventually. You just haven't gotten used to it.

For the umpteenth time this week, you find yourself standing in front of your mirror. A rational person would walk away from the mirror. You aren't a rational person though. Instead, you try on every piece of clothing you own that is even remotely tight fitting. Seeing how the fabric clings to your body, extenuating every lump, dent and curve.

You sigh as you run your hands over your body. Feeling your thighs, arms, stomach. All disgust you to a degree you didn't know was possible. A voice in the back of your head is screaming all your imperfections at you. Your face isn't symmetrical enough. Your stomach isn't flat enough. Your collarbones aren't prominent enough. Everything is wrong.

Tears well up in your eyes as you keep hyper-focusing on every flaw. You want to stop, god you do. To smash the mirror to pieces and spit on it. But you can't. Instead, you can only think about Kirishima's friends.

They're kind, sweet, helpful, hero's in training. The only thing bad about them is how perfect you are. It's hard to not compare yourself to them when they're all models. Momo has legs for days, Bakugou has muscles that you could never have, Iida is as smart as they come, Mina can make every outfit look good, Denki has enough charisma for ten people.

Sobs slowly wreck trough your body. You clasp a hand over your mouth. You stare at your own face in the mirror. Red eyes, wobbling chin, swollen cheeks. Even your crying has flaws.

"Pebble," you hear a voice behind your call. Your blood runs cold as you wipe around. You were too busy with pulling yourself apart that you didn't notice Kirishima entering your room. His eyes are drooping and his smile slowly falling. he holds a small bag in his hand. You can see the feet of a teddy bear and your favourite snacks sticking out of it. A surprise date, how sweet.

You shake your head as you make grabby hands towards him. Kirishima drops the bag and runs over to you, pulling you tightly against him. Your sobs grow tenfold now that you're in his arms. He pushes you as he softly pats your hair. "Let it all out, baby," he whispers.

His strong arms envelop you like a blanket. His cinnamony scent brings you comfort. You always thought he smelt like chai tea. After you told him that, he started drinking chai more. You smile at the memory. Your smile drops, however, once you feel his hands travelling over your body.

"Please talk to me," he says. "What's going on?". Kirishima's heart is breaking. Seeing you in this state makes him rack through his mind to find anything he could have done wrong.

"I'm ugly," you croak out before another sob wrecks through you. He stiffens. He curses at himself for not noticing your insecurities sooner. Normally, he was there to brighten your mood and build your confidence up. Normally. But he hasn't seen you as much as normally.

You push yourself further into his chest, hoping to disappear. "I'm ugly, and- and I'm gross," you say. "And I don't k-know why you're with me. B-Because you're handsome a-and kind and sweet and I-I'm none of that. You s-should just break-".

"No," he says sternly. He doesn't let you finish that sentence. He doesn't want you to. "No, I won't. Don't ever think I will.". Kirishima pulls you off him slightly so that he can look into your eyes. He cups your cheeks while brushing away your tears with his thumbs.

You sniffle but melt into his touch. "You aren't ugly, okay? Say it for me. Come on, say it," he urges you. You nod.

"I'm not-I'm not ugly," you say softly. He nods before puling your to him again and places a kiss on your crone. "I'm not ugly," you say again before silent sobs shake your shoulders.

"I'm just going to have to show you, yeah, pebble?" Kirishima says. You nod against him. Your hand travels up and laces through his hair. Even now, when you're crying your eyes out, you're still trying to comfort him. "I'll show you.".

TAMAKI:

wordcount: 774

Tamaki is invisible. It's something he learned to do over the years and now he can't stop doing it. Hiding in the shadows, his presence unknown to people. People tend to look over him and that's the way he likes it. Being in the big three, however, makes him seen. It makes him stand out like a sore thumb and his shyness draws ever more attention towards him.

Due to this, your relationship has become quite known around the school. And with that people tend to talk about you, gossip about you. You tuned it out most of the time. But when people gossip about you, it's hard not to listen to it.

"I mean, yeah, Tamaki is a total cutie," you hear some girl say. You don't even bother looking at her. You just try extra hard to focus on the homework your working on.

"Right?" her friend chimes in. "I don't know why he's with Y/n. Probably out of pitty. He's sweet like that.".

No. Don't listen to them. Tamaki loves you, you know that. He tells you that every day. He might not be physically affectionate but-

"I don't know. Y/n is just kind of...ugly?". Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Goddammit. Fucking fuck. "I didn't think they would ever be with someone.".

With that, you stand up. You don't even bother taking your stuff along with you. You doubt that anyone would be interested in stealing your homework or stationary. You can't even look at the gossiping students as you walk past them. Just get to your dorm, that's the plan. If you walk fast you can be there on less than three minutes.

You keep your gaze down as you fight back the tears. You can't cry in the hallways. That weird and ugly. "Bunny?". You lookup. Tamaki is standing at the end of the hallway, next to Mirio. He waves shyly at you. His goofy smile drops as he sees your pained expression. You strud over to him.

Are you breaking up with him? Did he do something wrong? Did you finally realize how much of a useless ball of shyness he is? His thoughts are running wild and worse case scenarios are popping up in his head.

His mind stops when your arms wrap around him. You two never hug in public. It's too scary for Tamaki, too stressful. But now that he feels your shoulders shake and your breath hitch all he can do is pull yours against him. Your hand travels up and plays with his hair while his arms wrap tightly around your middle.

"Am I ugly?" you ask, breaking the silence. Tamaki shakes his head against you, his hair tickling your neck. "’Cuz it feels like it.". His heartbreaks. You're always there to comfort him, to help him when he's on the brink of a panic attack. Now he has to be there for you.

"No, b-bunny," he says softly. His voice soothes you in a way you didn't imagine it would. "You're so p-pretty.". His words are few but you don't care. You know it's already bold that you come to him like this in public. Normally, you would only cling onto him in the comfort of his own dorm.

While he says little, he does comfort you. His touch ground you. The way his strong arms encircle you and warm you up. You press your nose into his neck. His hair feels silky smooth between your fingers. "I'm not," you say.

You feel awful for dropping your feelings onto him like this but you don't know what else to do. Tamaki is the person you go to for comfort, for love. "Who m-made you feel l-like this?" he asks.

You just shake your head as another sob wrecks to you. You muffle the sound by pressing into him. To bystanders, it just looks like a longlasting hug and not like your crying your eyes out.

Tamaki already knows the answer. He would be lying to say that he didn't hear the rumours as well. He hates it. Not just the attention but the bad things being said about you. That you're only with him because he's in the big three. That you aren't pretty enough for him, strong enough for him. He hears them all.

"W-wanna go... to...um..y-your room?" Tamaki asks. You nod. He places a kiss onto your forehead. Your heart warms up at the bold move. You swift so that one of his arms is now swung over your shoulder while the other is holding your hand. You hum softly at the comforting touch. "I-I think that...you're pretty," Tamaki says.

SHINSO:

wordcount: 435

While Shinso tends to be grumpy to others, he never is to you. He treats you with an unknown kindness. He touches you like your made of glass. And you do the same with him. You lean into his touch. You aren't afraid to answer his questions and you never saw him as a villain.

Due to your close bond, you two share your insecurities. It's normal for one of you to barge into the others dorm and just rant out their feelings. Which is how you find yourself here, walking through the halls with pathetic desperation. You don't even bother knocking once you reach Shinso's room. You just rip the door open.

Shinso can immediately tell that you're feeling down. Maybe it's the way your drag your feet more. Maybe it's the way you don't give him a 'hey nice to see you again' kiss. Or maybe it's the fat tears dripping down your cheeks. "I'm gonna talk," you say.

Shinso just nods. He pushes his chair away from his desk. You get the hint and walk over to him, plopping into his lap. His fingers immediately start rubbing circles on your arms.

"I'm ugly," you say. Shinso's heart stops for a second. This was going to be painful for him to hear. "I'm ugly and disgusting. And I-I'm sick of pretending I'm not. Y-You always say I'm p-pretty but I know y-you're lying. I'm not. And-And that's okay.".

You drop your head to let it rest against Shino's shoulder. He just shakes his head. He waits a minute for you to speak again and when you don't he does.

"You aren't ugly, kitty cat," Shinso says. You smile at the pet name. "You're as pretty as they come. Fuck everyone who tells you you're not. Fuck. Them.".

"You're out of my league," you say. Shinso shakes his head. One of his hands moves up to pet your head softly.

"Bullshit. I'm a fucking piece of shit villi-" he says. You lay a finger of his mouth to stop the word from being said. You lift your head and look at him. Even though your crying and your vision is blurry, you cup his face.

You shake your head. "Don't," you say. "Don't so that.". Shinso leans into your touch. It's selfish to treasure your touch in a situation like this but he can't help himself.

"Then you can't say that you're ugly," he says. You close your eyes before leaning your forehead against his. He feels you nod against him. A soft smile spreads over his normally stoic lips.

"Deal," you whisper out.