#and i’m gonna be so honest
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Okay, now I need a fic based on the session the reader and Logan has when he was slapped. Like the thought of her passing out and he still continued to fuck her? And her coming too and he’s just pumping her full of his come? Lord have mercy 😩🤤
me getting this anon while i was knee-deep in writing angst is something so funny to me, crying my eyes out then opening my inbox to see this gave me mental whiplash like you can’t believe He barely sounds human, more man than beast. The weight of him pins you into the bed, unable to move. The creaking of the bed, your weak cries, his downright animalistic grunts of pleasure as he thrusts into your tired, achy cunt—you two sound like a cheap porno, and not in a good way.
You have no one else to blame for the six foot wall of muscle that pins you to the bed, holds your hands behind your back and fucks you like he’s got something to prove. His hips meet your backside again, and again, and again—each thrust leaving your ass raw.
You don’t know how long it’s been since he’s put you on your stomach, and you don’t care to know; all you want is for him to keep going. Hell, you’re not sure Logan would stop even if you begged him.
Reduced to his animal instincts, if he’s not panting in your ear like a bitch in heat he’s mumbling the filthiest fucking words into your skin, tongue lapping at the salt that clings to it.
“Mine, mine, mine,” he groans, each word emphasized by the sound of skin slapping on skin. “My girl, mine to fuck, mine to breed.”
It genuinely hurts to breathe, but all you scratching at his arms does is spur him even further. Eventually you give up, lie back like a good little whore and let him fuck you until either you pass out or he runs out of energy.
Unsurprisingly, option A seems to happen first.
A few spots in your vision, a ringing in your ears, then nothing. An unknown time passes, and you wake up in the same spot as before, spread open and speared on Logan’s magnificent dick.
At least from what you can gather he’s a bit more put together now, still pumping himself inside your warm walls, but much less violent than he was before. You feel the familiar thrum of orgasm on the horizon, an odd sort of pleasure-pain that keeps you aware long enough to listen to your boyfriend speak.
“‘M sorry baby, fuck, just couldn’t stop,” he says, kissing up and down your spine in apology, still chasing after his own high with each word. “Feel too good, so, so good, goddamn—“
He’s stuttering, cutting himself off, unable to string together a full sentence. You chance a glance at him and fuck, he’s a goddamn mess. Sweat dripping from his brow, muscles flexing so hard you could count each vein, a rosey blush running from his face to his chest—he looks like he’s just came from hell and back. Damn near incoherent, whispering sweet nothings into your shoulder—
“Lemme come in you baby, just one more time, one more fuckin’ time—“
It’s a rhetorical question at this point; like you ever had a choice with the way his cum drips from your cunt. So full of him that each thrust pulls more out of you, only to be replaced. He’s had to have cum inside of you multiple times, the sloppy sound of it mixing with the sound of his balls slapping against your ass.
And yet, he keeps on going.
An urge to control, to keep, a need to stuff his cock inside of you and have you know exactly who it is that has your pussy creaming for him.
#I’m gonna be honest with you I forgot this was in my drafts#I’m so sorry anon!#hopefully the wait was worth it ❤️#robo writes#ask#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett smut#wolverine#wolverine x reader#wolverine smut
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GIRLS NITE OUT >_< ((clockwork could not make it)) (wip)
#myart#idk what he’s doing here#this is a work in progress#but I’m gonna be on some island for four days so I wanted to post before I left#Ej is just there for the food#I think Jane and Nina + Ej could be a good friend group actually#very balanced#I hope Jane knows I have a Lamborghini ready for her#creepypasta#eyeless jack#jane the killer#nina the killer#jeff the killer#crp#horror#slenderman#ej#jtk#this is really half assed I’m going to be 100% honest#nobody reading this but the support on my store has been so nice and I love you all#ok bye <3#why is this preforming well#I want 2 delete this so bad 💀
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had an interview for a plant job in Nevada and afterwards the interviewer emailed me a list of all the known plants there confirmed by the organization and I keep considering responding with ‘Wow, and all these plants are running casinos you say?’ and every time I restrain myself
#i probably could do it because the interview went very well and we just talked plants for an hour#he read me so well dude at one point he asked me what my favorite basal angiosperm was#and I was like I’m gonna be honest it’s gotta be that one singular shrub found only on an island off the coast of Australia#that has no vessels only trachieds for moving water around like it’s some kind of pine tree#breaking news: local shrub must push water through a bunch of tiny tubes instead of a mix of tiny and large tubes. imagine doing this#i looked it up and it’s Amborella. that’s the plant in question
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this man is in an on and off relationship with Emma Frost and y’all are trying to tell me he doesn’t get pegged??? He’s in a throuple with Jean Grey and Logan and y’all are trying to tell me he doesn’t get fucked stupid??? Stop lying to me.
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#scott summers#cyclops#jean grey#wolverine#logan howlett#emma frost#x men#x men comics#the x men#marvel comics#I used the x-men 97 pic cus he looked so cute there#i’m gonna be honest#i don’t know their ship name#scogan#scogean#jeanscott#im trying#jeagan#frostsummers?#that’s what it should be#guyssss what’s the poly ship name??? :(#yakichou… I owe you my life
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Quick little yakuza 5 majima angst because of what majima says abt haruka and kiryu in a certain end fight
#artists on tumblr#art by op#yakuza#majima goro#rgg fanart#rgg#yakuza 5#sawamura haruka#idk I was just thinking about harukas criminally insane stepfather#and the lengths he would go for her and kiryus happiness#what if we were girls and we bled out in an alley :33#drew the pattern on his jacket because I’d do anything for him#I’m gonna be so honest though I don’t like this very much lol
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Steve Harrington, age 7, being forced to join Boy Scouts because his father wanted him to learn how to “be a man” but didn’t wanna be the one to put in the work
Eddie Munson, age 8 and three quarters, forced to join Boy Scouts because the CPS worker who placed him with Wayne said it always looked good when the kids were involved in extracurriculars
Steve and Eddie becoming best friends because they both hated the uniform, and the activities, and having to please a bunch of men who had nothing better to do than hang out with kids three nights a week (and one Saturday a month)
Steve and Eddie earning every badge out of spite for their situations, not because they actually cared about tying knots or starting fires (okay, actually, that one was kind of cool)
Steve’s dad actually coming to a badge ceremony and seeing the way he hugged Eddie, known trailer trash, and immediately deciding that Steve no longer needed to be in Boy Scouts
Steve being sent to sleep away camp that summer so there was no risk of him being around Hawkins kids, only to come back with weekly swim lessons and a commitment to the local Little League team that “could really use your arm, son”
Wayne being granted full legal custody of Eddie so he didn’t have to work so hard to impress CPS anymore, letting him stop Boy Scouts as long as he found a hobby, pleased when it was guitar
Steve and Eddie finding their way out of the Upside Down together because of what they learned in Boy Scouts, laughing about how only two good things came out of that whole time: tying knots and becoming friends
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#headcanon#it’s a Monday from hell#if I have one more phone call I’m gonna commit a crime#so here’s a little thing that’s not much but it’s honest work
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Incoming spoilers!!! I just wanted to ramble a bit about that stone scene:
I think the scene besides the final speech that broke me the most was definitely when Stone called Ivo to warn him about Gerald. (Keep in mind I’m paraphrasing some parts here bc I didn’t have their entire dialogue memorized and it’s 2am so I apologize if some of this is just incoherent lol)
Desperately pleading with Ivo to think twice about Gerald was a tricky play because I think Stone knew Ivo most likely wouldn’t listen to him and stubbornly ignore his warning. And yet…he still poured his heart out to him in the most heartbreaking way.
There were no “please, I need you’s,” and there were no attempts to get Ivo on his side by boosting his ego in that moment.
Stone had crawled through the mud, out of a giant mech submerged in the water nonetheless, just to say a few choice words to Ivo, “I’m not there to protect you,” and “I almost lost you once I can’t lose you again.” (Again, I’m paraphrasing)
Both of these lines have been eating at me for the past few hours because it’s so surreal to be able to see how much Stone cares for Ivo unfiltered. We hear him use ‘I’ instead of ‘you,’ not telling off the doctor but making his own needs clear in an attempt to get Ivo to realize what he can’t on his own.
If it wasn’t obvious to Robotnik from Stone’s delighted reaction to his return in Sonic 2 and the months they’ve lived together, Stone is making it obvious now. (Where Rob will realize later on) His loyalty is a bond beyond professionalism and sycophancy to the point where Rob’s safety is more important to Stone than anything else in the world. Even dissatisfying him.
Yes, he craves affection from Ivo and clearly knows how much Gerald means to him, though I think Stone would much rather have Ivo hate— absolutely despise the agent’s existence—than to ever know the doctor was in pain again.
And leading up to the ending, when Robotnik finally snapped out of it and had a few seconds to think over the entire past decade of Stone’s service to him, is where I believe Lee’s words fit.
“I think Robotnik needs Stone more than Stone needs Robotnik.”
In his “final” moments Robotnik’s increasing need for Stone was so apparent it melted down his own selfish core, and I believe that this was the driving factor to push him to save the planet.
So if Robotnik is now gone, Stone served his purpose for the man up until the very end. Sure he’ll live out Rob’s legacy as the doctor bestowed upon him, but he would do so as a changed man. A changed, lonely, man.
Their relationship ended up saving the world, yet, the world couldn’t end up saving their relationship.
#sonic movie 3 spoilers#Sonic movie spoilers#Sonic spoilers#I’m gonna be honest with you I almost cried writing the end portion of this#they are everything to me and more#idk how I’ll ever get over this#look out therapist I’ll have you booked for another three years!#their story is so beautiful even if we only get to see a fraction of it#I LOVE THEMMM#gnawing at the bars of my cell on prison island#please join in on the comments I loved this scene but it destroyed me#stobotnik#agent stone#agent stone x robotnik#robotnik x stone#jimbotnik
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day 28 - umm
#anthology of the killer#of the killer#bb#artwork of the killer#i do all my wiggling lineart by hand btw… if it wiggles i redrew it every single time#speaking of which I only have 2 more bbs in the queue#and I’m gonna be so honest. not doing well. so new bbs might be a little low effort
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I know you said that Farah Alex and Nikolai wouldn't show up in comics, but do you at least have an idea of their hybrids? Cause I headcannon Alex is Human, Farah is a Gorgon like Valeria, but she keeps her hybrid hidden with her hijab/headscarf, and Nikolai is a Harpy hybrid like Gaz, but his wings were clipped or something.
no clue! y’all can decide that ❤️
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Penelope:
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Also Penelope:
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Penelope, girl… I’m gonna hold your hand when I say this…
#i’m gonna hold your hand when i say this#what good am I to you?#more good than they want to admit tbh#I wish the show was more honest about how she actually sucks at managing problems tbh#That’s why she gets herself in over her head so much#Like these are just the obvious moments#but her way of taking care of things always cause new problems#and her way out tends to just be Lie Harder#they tried to girlboss my girlfailure#but Pepperidge farm remembers#she’s just a girl#polin#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#nicola coughlan#penelope featherington#penelope bridgerton#luke newton#colin bridgerton#penelope x colin#girlfailure
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I must know have you ever drawn Five??
That goober was my comfort character for a solid 2 years :]
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I don’t draw him enough
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#glitch techs#glitch techs fanart#sorry this took so long#hector nieves#I’m gonna be honest most of my glitch techs art is of Miko#fanart#five
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his crime
#madhouse at the end of the earth#georges lecointe#belgica expedition#polar exploration#polar explorer fanart#my drawings#the belgica expedition#polar explorers#polar history#people get so mad about this#and i get it#but#i’m gonna be honest#yes this is terrible and i would never do such a thing#but i can’t help but chuckle whenever i think of this#let’s be fr#honestly#like something out of a slapstick comedy#insane little dude#you threw the cat????#OVERBOARD??????#LMAO#insane#i nearly choked to death laughing as i wrote this
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euuvchcjkckkkk sniffle …. thinking abt them
#it’s been so long since i’ve drawn bbc ghosts i need to revisit….#sapphic ghosts save me . save me sapphic ghosts#bbc ghosts#bbc ghosts fanart#annie bbc ghosts#mary bbc ghosts#i’m. not sure what their ship name is i’m gonna b honest
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Did they f—ing kill Symbrock. Even though they’re canon & alive in the comics. Are these sweaty old men the blood price we paid for Agatha Harkness kissing women & Billy being alive
#someone please tell me#I haven’t seen it yet & I’m not gonna go to the theatre just to watch Venom die to be so honest#lgbtqia#the last stand#symbrock#venom the last dance#venom#venom 3#agathario#agatha x rio#rio x agatha#agatha all along spoilers#aaa#aaa spoilers#Agatha all along
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often the humble kind, but he can’t deny, he was born to blow your mind…
…or something along those lines.
#stardew valley#sdv dobson#sdv mr qi#mr. qi#fanart#dobqi#I’m Gonna Be So Honest Guys.#I Don’t Care If Society Doesn’t See The Vision Anymore.#i want creepypasta4creepypasta#immortal for he lives forever x immortal for he never lives and so never dies#toxic situationship drama got so bad qi had to trap his twink in the code#they are my roman empire#And I Will Draw Them Again Probably
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Martian Stan AU - Aftermath & Discovery
The Beginning (1), Aftermath (2) (here), next
Extra! (The Apology)
Ford didn’t know how long it took for him to pry himself off the floor, but it felt like hours later when he managed to trudge his way upstairs, eyes burning and throat raw. There was new blood on his knuckles, and Ford couldn’t remember if it was Stan’s or his own. He’d tried to scrub the blood off of the portal, but most of it had been too high and Ford was so tired.
He couldn’t fall asleep in the basement, he chanted to himself, again and again and again and it only occurred to him once he stood swaying at the top the of the stairs, that is didn’t actually… matter, anymore.
It didn’t matter what Bill did, or didn’t do.
The portal was broken beyond repair. His brother was dead.
The journal is gone. his mind whispered insidiously, and he couldn’t remember if he’d always been so cruel to himself, or if it was a byproduct of Bill. You got what you wanted, Sixer. How does it feel?
Ford hobbled to the bathroom as fast as he could manage, and hurled his guts out into the toilet. When all that came up was acrid bile, though, and Ford wondered idly when we he last ate. It didn’t matter.
None of it mattered, Ford decided firmly, hands clenched on either side of the porcelain bowl so hard that they looked bloodless in the harsh white light. It didn’t matter what he felt, or didn’t feel.
Not anymore.
The journal was gone. That was a good thing, it meant that the portal could never be rebuilt again. Stanley made an honorable… he. He’d made an honorable sacrifi—
Ford hunched over the toilet and heaved again. Nothing came out.
Impossibly, time kept moving.
Ford was left drifting in the current, from room to room, machine to first aid kit to paper to specimen to paper to circling the door of his lab again and again like an anxious sentry. He didn’t process any of it, and eventually, the door was the only thing left in the house that felt truly real. It was the only mystery left that Ford could pay any real mind to, and most of the time he wanted nothing more than burn the whole thing to the ground.
Sitting against the door, head leaned back and staring at the ceiling, Ford searched his mind for something. Anything.
A plan, a goal, fuck, he’d take the will to actually get out of the house and get groceries despite the constant chance of being watched at this rate. There was near nothing left to eat in the cabinets that wasn’t rank with age, and Ford knew he was wasting away like this.
But there was nothing. No part of him cared.
He knew he’d always had the wildest aspirations as a kid and as a young man, that he’d never stop reaching for bigger and better heights, but the light had blinded him with its promise, and now he’d fallen. He’d fallen so far.
He’d said Icarus didn’t flap hard enough, when Fiddleford tried to warn him of his own hubris all those weeks ago. Now he was just glad he wasn’t an English major, because it had taken him all of this just to realize that Icarus had found the sun, been embraced by the promise of warmth, and burned for it.
Trust no one.
Ford traced an idle finger against the freshly bandaged burn on the underside of his hand.
And no one should ever trust you.
…
The worst part, Ford thought to himself as he brewed another pot of coffee and searched for a clean mug, was the uncertainty of it all. There was a grief in loss, of course, but not knowing could be so much worse.
Stanley could still be alive out there, among the creatures of the Nightmare Realm, all alone. He could be dying. He could be dead. He could be sitting on the other side, waiting, hoping Ford could open the portal and bring him home—
Ford slammed down the sole clean coffee cup he had left hard enough to startle himself, and then sighed.
He’d have to go clean up the remains of the portal, eventually. Before he fell asleep and Bill…
Ford poured out the coffee and leaned heavily against the counter as he took a sharp swig. It burned the whole way down.
What did he have left that Bill wanted? What reason did Bill have to keep him around if his research was beyond saving, if he couldn’t be threatened or tortured into complying anymore?
The next time he fell asleep…
Ford didn’t know what’d happen to him, and despite everything, damnit, Ford didn’t want to die. He couldn’t let Bill win, couldn’t become another footnote in the history of the world because he was just another one of the poor schmucks who fell for Bill Cipher’s lies.
Taking another gulp of liquid courage, Ford pulled his coat tight around himself and marched to the door of his lab before he could talk himself out of it.
Forget not sleeping in the lab. Ford couldn’t sleep at all until he found a way to sever Bill from his mind for good. Project Mentem had been a bust last he’d checked, but it was worth another shot. What else hadn’t he tried? There was something… a protection spell? A charm?
Ford contemplated his options all the way down the stairs, one hand keeping him steady on the wall while the other held his mug.
He still wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted yet, or what his next step was, but Ford could do this. He just had to secure his mind, like he’d planned, and then get rid of the blasted portal once and for all. Nothing had changed.
Nothing had changed. Nothing had changed. Nothing, nothing, except that Ford felt hollow where there must’ve once been something warm and vital in his chest. He didn’t know if he’d ever feel warm again. He didn’t deserve to.
Ford remembered a detail about sleep deprivation, as the elevator neared the basement level again and his heart dropped in time with the doors hissing open. Hallucinations were a common byproduct of the resulting sensory overload and exhaustion. They could take auditory or visual form, though visual hallucinations were a more common symptom by over 52%.
That was the only explanation he could conjure for the faint singing that echoed through the dark, cavernous sub-level before him.
“It’s not real,” Ford whispered to himself, hands a vice around the coffee mug. He felt cold. “Auditory hallucinations are an expected and well documented symptom to experience in conditions less dire than these. Focus on your intellect, Stanford. Focus, focus, it is not real.”
For a long stretch of time, seconds, or perhaps minutes, Fords feet were glued to the floor of the elevator. No matter how hard he tried, no matter what he said or did, the singing, or the static, remained steady and quiet.
It wouldn’t go away unless Ford made it.
Finally, Ford forced himself to creep into the basement, and then the control room to set his mug down on the desk. The music was louder now, more distinct here than it had been before. Had Ford left a radio on down here? Was that it?
Holding his breath, Ford crept around the trashed room, checking behind spare sheets of metal that had been propped up against the walls, kneeling to look under the control panels, and then behind them too. All the while, the music droned on, buzzing and humming and settling under his skin like an itch.
-any- wind blows—
It got louder as he neared the very back of the room, the words filtering through the humming static and becoming clear. Ford couldn’t deny it anymore. That was a voice. He shivered hard, jolting like ice had been pressed to the back of his neck, and hurried forward.
-really matter to me… To me.
There was a pile of debris, in the back of the control room, farthest from the door where he’d entered. Stanley must’ve crashed into it, when Ford and him had been… when he’d…
-just killed a man —a gun against his head…
Ford slowed his pace, staring down at the dented metal plates and machinery that had fallen loose in a heap on the floor, the stray wires and screws jutting out of the mess every which way. Slowly, Ford sank to his knees and pressed his aching palms onto the cool floor beneath him.
He could hear the singing now. Warbling, staticky. Familiar.
-Life had just begun, and now I’ve gone and thrown it all away.
Ford choked on his next inhale, thin and trembly as it was, and searched through the wreckage with wide eyes.
There. Nestled between a dented panel with half its screws undone, and a jumble of wires and smaller panels of sheet metal, was the source of the sound.
For a long, long moment, all Ford did was stare.
Oh mama… oh ohh oh. Didn’t mean to make you cry.
If I’m not back again this time tomorrow…
Ford’s hands trembled as he reached out, carefully prying the radio out of the scrap heap and holding it up in the dim light.
Carry on, carry on…
As if nothing really matters…
The voice faded out. Static.
Ford set the radio down on his lap, gently, as it would shatter into a million pieces otherwise, and pressed a trembling hand to his mouth.
“Stanley?” Ford choked out, and it was like trying to breathe glass. But he had to know, he had to, because— because…
He sat there, dully staring down at the radio Fiddleford had cobbled together months ago, when they’d still been in the implementations stage of the data and blueprints they’d collected, when the preliminary tests had begun. A device to send and collect waves and other information from beyond this dimension without actually opening a rift.
And here it was. In Fords hands, dented and scratched and still whole despite everything. Ford had turned his sights completely to the portal before the it’s completion, since Bill had deemed the entire endeavor a waste of time and energy and an ineffective outlet for his genius.
Fiddleford must’ve completed it, back when he was still just as enthralled in the project as Ford was. He missed his old friend, but Fiddleford was likely back home by now, in California to try and reconnect with his wife and child. As bitter as Ford was, he hoped Fiddleford was successful. His old friend deserved as much and more.
There was no reply to Ford’s question, except, Ford brought the radio to his ear and strained to listen through the faint static. Was that… humming?
Doo- doo doo, yeah, no poindexter, I‘m done, man. That’s the last song of the evening, I’m not paid for overtime.
Moses, wish I were getting paid for this.
Ford jumped, wincing at the sudden burst of noise loud enough to make his ears ring, then processed what Stanley, because that had to be Stanley, had said.
“Stanley! Where are you? Are you in the Nightmare Realm? You must be… what sort of method did you find to transmit your signal? Are you al—“
But Stanley continued speaking as though he hadn’t heard him. A thrill of irritation went through him. Was Stanley ignoring him? Was this some kind of petty revenge tactic?
When’d that song come out anyway? ‘75?
He hummed.
Sounds about right.
Ford shook the radio and bit back a growl, before he remembered that the technology in his hands was damaged and sorely in need of a repair and upgrade, and loosened his grip again. He set it down in his lap.
“Stanley, I need you to take this seriously, please, for once.”
Wow, that song was everywhere back then, wasn’t it? I remember thinkin’ Ford probably liked it when it came out, wherever he was. The nerd was probably in college.
“Stanley?” he tried again, but he wasn’t expecting a reply anymore. Stanley soldiered on, rambling about everything and nothing and Ford could almost hear the smile in his voice if it didn’t sound so tired.
Hell, where’d I first hear it? Must’ve been over at a gas station in… eh, Kansas? Somewhere over there, the big ol’ middle states.
We sure aren’t in Kansas anymore.
Ahh, those were the times. Me, the open sky, and so, so much dirt in my hair. Seriously, where did the dirt come from. I roll around in one haystack and suddenly i’m fishing filth out of my hair a month later.
Stanley went quiet again, before he laughed.
Aw man, I actually like this story. Buckle in folks, and I’m taking us back to that weirdly cold summer day in Kansas, where I had to steal 5 prized chickens. For some reason.
Look man, when someone pays you a hundred bucks and tells you he wants chickens, you don’t ask questions.
Anyways, I’d been-“
For the past few… well, it had to have been days since Stanley fell through the portal by this point, if Fords state was anything to go off of, Ford’s mind had been eerily blank. He’d been a hollowed out shell of his former self, a ghost in his home and life that held onto the living plane by only the barest threads and pure spite.
It was like a switch had flipped. Ford’s fingers drummed on the outside of the radio as he forced himself to his feet, mind whirling at a hundred miles per hour and making calculations and theories and discarding some and contemplating others, and he was nearly jittering as he walked out of the control room entirely. He’d need to find a way to secure this side of the portal from Bills influence, recollect his journals, and then, he was bringing his brother home.
He stopped just before he got into the elevator and turned around to stare down the wrecked portal that loomed overhead. The once perfect inverted triangle, now ruined and warped nearly beyond recognition.
He grinned in a way that was more just like baring his teeth.
“You may be a god, Cipher, and you may think you can control me, but never forget. I am a scientist.”
The portal stood dead as it had been, but Ford didn’t care. He whirled around and stalked into the elevator. He felt more awake than he had in days. And he had research to collect and a demon to banish.
Stanley was still talking, as the elevator began to shudder and rise, and Ford’s adrenaline shot began to ever-so-slightly wane. Something about… attack pigeons?
-And when I finally think I’m in the clear, I duck around one of the hay bales and come face to face with, and I’m not kidding here, a cow wearing heavy duty armor, like a helmet and shit the guy in ‘Nam would wear. It even had holes for the ears!
There was a strange sound then, and Ford realized with a start that it was coming from him. He was laughing. It wasn’t even than funny, really, but something about Stan delivery made Ford wheeze.
When was the last time he’d laughed? It must’ve been before this whole thing started, when he’d been with Fiddleford or B—
The laughter died in his throat. Oblivious to Fords inner turmoil, Stan kept on jabbering.
And there I was, 5 chickens smuggled into my coat and in my bag —and if you’ve never tried to carry 5 chickens, never do, it’s hard as hell and not worth it at all— staring down ol’ Bessie.
And then, because this fucking farm couldn’t get any weirder, the cow started moo-ing like it was setting off a tornado siren, and all the other cows in the whole place started mooing in sync too. It was fucking terrifying man.
They must’ve been calling the attack pigeons, because those suckers came back, and they started dive-bombing my sorry ass, and really, that was when I reached my limit.
I dove into the hay bale like a damn football player going for the end line, and even though it was by far the itchiest thing to ever happen to me, it saved me from death-by pecking so I’ll take take it.
The itchiest, of course, save for my stint in Albuquerque.
Ford could almost imagine Stan shaking his head as he paused again. With a start, he realized he was still smiling.
Just. Don’t try selling pillows in Albuquerque is all I’ll say.
Stan gave an audible shudder.
So many feathers… And itch powder. The itch powder didn’t help.
Ford couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped out of him at that.
Tags! (I’m sure I’m forgetting someone, pls tell me if you want to be on the list! Or just follow the tag that also works) @aroace-get-out-of-my-face @pleasantartisanhottea @littlelilliana15 @empressofsamoyeds @pinesfamilycatsau
Super Epic Secret Surprise!
#This fic will be on ao3 eventually#It’s only a matter of time#First chapter where ford isn’t literally shattering into a million pieces by the end#Everyone say thank you Stanley#gravity falls#martian stan au#fanfic#my art#gonna have to make a master post too#Ahhh so many things#ALSO#THERES A SURPRISE#I WILL POST SOON#actually I’m gonna schedule for it to post in a half hour or so bc I’m evil and want you guys to read this first for context#Sorry E#stanley pines#stanford pines#stangst#cw blood#cw vomit#not explicitly but it does happen#Im prolly gonna set up a fic and master post sooner rather than later#For conveniences sake#Ily guys#bohemian rhapsody#Stan twins#ill be honest I don’t know what Stan’s talking about either and I wish I did#He does what he wants I fear
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