#and i’m a bad person still but what do i do or say how am i meant to destroy my joy with telling someone i’m a bad person

[earlycuntsets]

interview with frank, mikey and bob with mychemicalromanceforum.com 2006

interview was linked on the 2006 mcr website news (home) page

"The big forum interview with My Chemical Romance!

Reporters: Imre (poison amy) and Lisette (Lica) Bandmembers: Frank, Bob and Mikey Place: The Melkweg (Milkyway), Amsterdam, the Netherlands Date: Wednesday August 31st, 2005, 3.30pm

After a lot of stress and the prospect that the interview might be cancelled, it was finally time to go upstairs and meet the band. Two hours later than scheduled, but hey, they were there so we’re not complaining! Our palms were sweaty and our hearts were racing, but we managed to remain calm and behave like proper journalists instead of squealing fangirls.

L: Let’s start with our list! We’re already talking about messageboards so lets continue on that. Some people sometimes claim to be one of you when they are on forums or other websites, what do you think of that?F: I don’t understand it really, to me it’s kind of like that game the Sims, they’re spending so much time leading this fake life while they could be doing their own thing, and if your dream is to be in a band you should go out and practise instead of playing a video game or pretend you’re somebody else. It gets really creepy when those people do that and put out pictures of you and say a loved one or your dog. When they do that and then talk to other people on your behalf, that really angers me because we don’t know what they’re saying to other people and they might give advise and others might believe it. Internet can be a great thing, but it can also be a really evil thing. I: We have a rule against talking about your private life. F: Thank you. I appreciate that.Mikey: That’s a big problem with MySpace, because some of my friends actually are on MySpace and they get messages, I don’t know how they knew that my friends are on there, but these are people that aren’t even in bands and they would get messages from ‘me’ on MySpace. It’s really weird. I: They know everything. Trust me. Bob: That’s ridiculous. F: I’m still a huge fan of music, but when I was a fan of a band I would never ever be that intrusive. You know what I mean, to go as far as walk on someone’s bus and sit down and go through someone’s things, or try to steal something… I: There was one girl last week, she was at one of the shows in London and she was proud that she ripped something off your arm! F: [sad tone] Yeah, yeah… I: She was bragging about it all over the internet. F: I know… L: How do you feel about these things? F: You know, it’s weird. *thinks* I don’t know how I feel about that. I definitely know that when I was at shows I would bring a souvenir home, but it wasn’t someone’s personal property, it was a flyer or something like that. It’s weird if you wanna go into the crowd thinking ‘am I gonna come out with everything?’ L: Are you nervous when you see a large crowd? Are you worried then? F: No! Well, no, I mean, it depends. There’s a bunch of different type of fans. You know, there’s people who just wanna say I love you, love your show, and that’s awesome. They respect the music and the art form. And then there’s some people that need to have that souvenir, that need a signature or a picture and there’s some that just scream and try to pull your hair out and that’s ridiculous and then there’s the drunk fan that wants to be the one that punched you. Unfortunately for the people that just wanna say hi or the people that just want an autograph, sometimes they get flooded because the bad apples are so loud or with so many. It sucks to make people wait outside for hours before you leave because I don’t wanna weed out the bullshit, you know what I mean, the teenie ‘oh wow the new N’Sync is an actual band’ you know that’s a terrible thing, but you try to do more good than bad.

L: How was it for you Bob, when you joined the band they were already on their way to become very successful, how was it for you to step into a band that was already on their way? Bob: When I first started it wasn’t really sure that… Well, I don’t think anybody thought that it was gonna be this successful. When I first started it was still in the van, playing shows for like a hundred people. It wasn’t like this when I first started. As far as the kids being crazy, obviously they *nods towards Frank and Mikey* get it a lot more, but it’s just strange for me. L: Well, you’re completely accepted on the forum, everybody loves Bob, they have it in their signatures. *grins* F: How could you not love Bob?!

I: When you started out, did you ever imagine being nominated for 4 VMA’s against Green Day?F: No, not at all! I: How crazy is that?! F: Pfff! It’s flattering.M: It was a great experience. The whole thing.F: I’m still reeling from it. I’m really glad it’s over. I: Were you nervous? F: Oh god, yeah. I definitely threw up before.M: You can see me biting my nails on camera. Every time they were showing Jamie Fox you can see me right behind him biting my nails a lot. I was really freaked out.F: It’s one of those things where.. Growing up I didn’t get to watch them all the time, but I saw bands like Nirvana play it and Guns’n’Roses. So just to be there and think of all the things that happened on that show and to actually play it, it was ridiculous. I: Because of the MTV awards you had to do the two festivals in England on the same day, how was that? Were you nervous doing those shows? B: It was tiring really. F: It was very tiring, yeah. And again, we kept like thinking of people that played it before. You know what I mean. I’m definitely keeping the two passes and I’m gonna frame them. It was rad. To do Reading and Leeds and especially on the same day, it was crazy! B: We were supposed to fly to Leeds and we couldn’t get on a bus and go to Reading, because we wouldn’t have enough time to set up, so we were supposed to take three helicopters and I was so psyched about that! I was so excited! It would have been so awesome to fly on a helicopter! But then something happened with the weather at Reading and they wouldn’t let the helicopters get that close to so many people, so we just took a plane. L: So the helicopter experience still has to take place. B: Yeah. We’re gonna do it one of these days. I don’t care, even if it’s on a day off, we’re taking a helicopter ride! L: Are you a thrill seeker? B: I … *thinks* Kind of. I guess so. F: As long as it’s got something to do with helicopters or motorcycles or black vans, that kind of stuff. I: You wouldn’t go horseriding on the beach. F: *laughs* I don’t think he’s that horseriding-on-the-beach type of guy. B: No. I wanna go skydiving one of these days. F: I’m not!!! I: Why not? F: If you’d asked me a couple of years ago to do it, I’d go ‘yeah, fuck it!’ but now I’m just too happy. You know what I mean? I: You don’t need that. F: Yeah! I don’t need to do that.

Then suddenly Bob exclaims: What is wrong with these people?! *reads from book* What would happen if you saw Mikey walk into the bathroom with another toaster? Signed: Bob Bryar’s official bitch.M: It wasn’t a toaster, it was a heater. I was putting a space heater in the bathroom when I was sick or something. I brought this heater into the shower so it was warm when I got out. It’s not the smartest thing in the world to do, but I was like ‘whatever, I’m fucking freezing’, but apparently they turned it into a toaster.. L: But you were fine. M: Yeah, I’m here right now. *all laugh*

L: For the video from The Ghost of You, you guys have your hair really smooth. We understand how you get your hair like that, but we were wondering how did they get Ray’s hair totally smooth? How much stuff did they put in there?F: You’ll see it on the making of the video, he has like these two little buns. B: Did they flat iron his hair too? F: They did something. It was all flattened out. It was all bundled together in this little fist of a bulb, so they could only shoot him from the front and part of the side. It was crazy. He was gonna cut his hair and we were all like ‘no don’t do that!!’. I: Did he ever tried to hide objects in his hair? To smuggle them inside? F: Hide objects in it? He might. B: *thinks* I don’t think so. *All giggle*

I: Another question they asked is: if your tourbus driver got ill, who would you trust to drive it?F: Bob. I: Yeah? Why? F: Cos he’s done it before. B: It happens a lot when you have to move a bus. When I used to tour with other bands, our drivers would just be like ‘hey, you wanna drive?’ and then I’d drive for like 1000 miles. L: It’s cool to drive something that big, isn’t it. B: Yeah, I like to drive and being on tour you never get to drive anywhere. If you’re not in a bus you’re in a cab or if you’re not in a cab you have somebody else driving you, so you know I take every opportunity I get to drive.

L: If you could describe your life so far in 5 words, what words would you choose?M: Tiring, wonderful…F: Surprising, uhm, definitely tiring… B: Red Bull. I: Hey, that’s two words! B: Oh sorry! *laughs* F: Coffee. B: There you go, coffee. Fun! (All at the same time) Proud. F: Prun! *grins*M: Yeah. B: How about proud-fun? I: We’ll make that a new forum-word! B: Prun.

I: Have you ever read any of the fanfictions people write about you? *guys laugh* M: My friends sent me one once. It was creepy! My friends are interested in all that stuff, so they all sit online and send it to each other and laugh. And then one of them emailed one to me and it was something really fucking out of hand.F: I heard Mikey’s hot for me. I: The hottest couple is you and Gerard actually. F: Oh really? We’re the hottest couple? B: That’s amazing. I: That’s actually one of the most active parts of the forum, the fanfiction section. F: Wow! That’s crazy. My god… (kind of unsure) Well, if that’s what gets you hot, go for it.

L: Do you have something with you when you go out on stage, like a lucky thing? B: High fives. F: Yeah we do, like high fives before we go on stage. I don’t think there’s any charm I have.. I think it changes like I’ll have something for a time that I feel is lucky, but then it’ll probably break or something and you get something new… Like these shoes *everyone looks at Frank’s feet* are lucky I think. None of it’s really lucky at all of course. *thinks* I have these dogtags that I wear a lot, but I can’t wear them on stage because it hurts my neck. I: Yeah and someone might steal them! F: Yeah that’s it, but I wear them all the time, except when I’m playing.

L: Yeah, you go crazy on stage and sometimes you’re lying on the floor, how are you able to play like that?F: You get used to it, like with anything. When we’re playing a new song, like right now we’re playing a new song. Well, not new new, but new for us because we haven’t played it in so long, so ah, we’ll play eh *looks at Bob* should we tell them? *Bob nods* Alright, we’re playing Jetset tonight and I’m not used to playing that song, so I’ll just stand there and make sure I hit every chord. L: So you’re not going crazy. F: *laughs* No, but you know what I mean like it’s hard because I get into it and I would do it, but at the same time if it’s so new I can’t. Once I’m comfortable with it I can do whatever I want. I: Is there a favourite song when you play? All: Prison! F: Yeah, Prison is like a band favourite. B: Yeah we like to play that. It’s become the song that when we need to play something for a soundcheck we pick that. I really like playing Jetset too though. I: Why didn’t you put it in the set before? F: We’ve never played certain songs, I mean like never ever played them. I think Jetset was one of those until we were like ‘yeah lets finally get this out’. We had about five songs to pick from for the headline tour, some older stuff that we haven’t played in a really long time and there’s this song called Cubicles that we’ve never played. I think you guys played it (to Mikey)…M: Yeah we’ve played it on a couple of shows.F: But I’ve never actually played it. I: It must be nice to do a different set. F: Yeah! You know it’s fun to be doing something that you haven’t played in a really long time because it puts a spin on things and it kind of challenges you.

L: Most places have a very active local music scene, do you ever go to a band of the local music scene when you’re in a city?F: I would love to if we had a second off, but we never do.L: And back home in New Jersey, do you go there to local shows? F: Yeah, if we’re home for a while and there’s a show going on, I’ll go see it. But it’s hard because we do this for a living and I mean we love what we do and we love music, but sometimes the last thing we wanna do is go to a show. It has to be a really good show, you know what I mean. I: Yah, but it must also be part of your job to keep up to date about new bands. F: Yeah, well we tour so much and we hear so many things from different people, I mean I found out about a lot of different bands from just kids. It kind of keeps you in your favourite scene, you know. And we get demos all the time.

I: A few weeks ago I interviewed the singer from HIM, Ville, and he told me he had been talking to you guys about maybe touring together.F: That would be cool. Yeah. He’s a great guy. He’s really nice. I: I know! *grins* F: I think that would rule. To me, HIM are kind of like the European Bon Jovi. That’s what I get when I listen to them.

Sadly the girl from the record company interrupted us by saying it was nearly time and we could ask one last question. Lica asked it. L: About the second I’m Not Okay video; it starts off with Ray and Gerard sitting there and Gerard says: I don’t wanna make it, I just wanna… What does he wanna do? F: Ok, the original line was: I don’t wanna make it, I just wanna rock! And we didn’t like it. If you keep an open end you can make it whatever you want it to be, you know. The rest of that, the whole opening scene, was written out. It was scripted and we were like ‘this isn’t really working’ so Ray actually re-wrote everything. Everything you hear in the video, other then ‘I just wanna’ is something that Ray wrote maybe ten minutes before we shot it!

Then the girl from the record company came back inside to tell us we really needed to wrap it up and Frank practically begged her to do two more from the book, like he suggested when we started out. Bob flips through the book. B: Bam! *points* All time favourite sad song? M: the Smiths – Asleep. That’s the fucking saddest song ever. B: That Jimmy Eat World song off of that show.. F: Angel song? B: Yeah. F: Oh yeah. Ah, geez, Angel Angel. Oh, right, ready? *flips through book again* F: When you guys stop and think about how you ended up where you are now, do you feel really lucky and jump for joy, or do you don’t give a damn at all? *laughs* I think we are the luckiest people in the whole fucking world. B: We’re very proud of ourselves! F: To be able to say that, you know, you’ve accomplished goals, that you set for yourself so long ago and this is awesome you know, like to be on tv or on the radio – fuck the radio and tv! To hear kids in different countries or different states sing along to songs that you wrote in your basement is the most surreal experience that you’ll ever have. And to have it mean something to people you never thought you would ever meet. That right there is the most amazing thing.

We had a minute to go on a picture with them and say goodbye. Frank told us that he really appreciated what we are doing for the band and thanked us for everything by giving us both a very tight hug. As you can probably imagine, we high on adrenaline for the rest of the day. The guys were lovely and very happy to see that all of you had posted so many questions for them. Thank you forum members, and thanks My Chemical Romance for making this all happen!

Second group pictureSaying goodbye and packing our stuffLast minute chattingFrank telling us how much he appreciate the work we're doing on here"

interview with frank, mikey and bob with mychemicalromanceforum.com 2006

[rosiebun28]

COSMIC HRT Month 1 (The Dream and First Encounter)

Hi, I'm Rosie and this is part of a story I've been wanting to share for a long time. Cosmic HRT started as a comic but I have ADHD really bad and I have struggled with consistently working on art. But as I continue in the community I want to try other mediums like writing to get my story out there. Hopefully one day I can work on turning it into a comic but I just want to at least get something out for my own sanity. This story was inspired by Dragon HRT by @ayviedoesthings and by Eldritch HRT by @dawning-mars The format was Inspired by Arynia's Hellhound HRT story over at @ariathelamia so Definitely go check all of them out if you haven't already! Also Special thank you to @dawning-mars for the Cameo!

Hello, my name is Rose but I like to go by Rosie. My Therapist suggested I should try Chronicling my journey as a way of reflecting on the crazy events that have been happening to me. I've always had problems interacting with other people so I figured I should share these journals online as a way of initiating interaction. (Sorry if that’s weird, I’m still working on my communication skills) I’m really bad at self expression so forgive me if I say something weird or mis-remember something.

Well the whole thing started a while back, I'm a 30 year old transgender woman and things had been getting worse where I lived for people like me. I heard about a new type of HRT that can actually turn people into animals! After doing A LOT of research into it and a lot of self reflection, I Felt this was something I needed but nothing I looked at felt right, felt like me. There were short periods of fancy where I got excited at the thought of being a bunny or a mouse or even a hybrid species, but the excitement always faded after a time. Nothing felt like the real me, I didn’t even know what the "Real Me" was supposed to feel like, just the feeling that something wasn’t quite right. I was stuck at an impasse, walking past and seeing others transitioning and becoming closer to their true selves every day. I liked to try and keep up to date on things so I started following some Therians online but while I was happy for them, I still felt just the tiniest bit of envy and wished I could figure out who I am.

However, that changed one day when I had a weird dream. It's a bit difficult to describe but there was a tall Being in a bright yellow robe with an expressionless mask and horns, we stood on an expansive black plane, the sky behind a stark white with what appeared to be black stars in the background. I couldn’t feel my arms or legs, I couldn’t move and could barely feel myself, I watched as the figure slowly moved towards me in a way I can only describe as smooth, not quite gliding, not quite shambling. Once it reached me it  whispered something I couldn't quite make out and I suddenly woke up with a chill. The next day I had an unexplainable urge to go for a walk through a part of town I'd never been through but it was like something was pulling me there, like I was being drawn in. 

I made my way down to what was locally being called the "Therian District" though some would call it "The Zoo" though I never liked that name personally. As I was walking past a doctor's office, I suddenly bumped into someone and fell to the ground. I felt a cold chill suddenly rush into me and down my throat but it was gone so fast I wasn't even sure if it even actually happened. As I looked up there was a tall, vague figure covered in shadow. When suddenly my vision doubled, one side blue and the other yellow, before recombining. The shadowy figure was gone, in its place before me stood the most beautiful person I'd ever seen. She was extremely tall and had skin that was a lustrous purple, she wore a simple black dress with a black bow and a large black hat. Her face stared at me for a few seconds with five deep, caring eyes that seemed to be full of anxiety, not sure how I could tell that to be honest. She quickly apologized for bumping into me and ran off. I was stuck there for a few seconds going over the image in my mind before someone came over and helped me up. They asked me if I’d been hurt by "That Monster" and I gave them a sharp glare that made them back off and walk away muttering "freak" under their breath. I don’t know why but I'd felt an anger wash over me from hearing them insult this person I’d never even met. It was so out of character for me that I didn’t know how to respond so I called them an asshole and walked away.

That night I had another dream about the Being in Yellow but this time they spoke only four words to me: "Open Your Eye Youngling" After which I heard a cracking sound followed by my vision splitting again into blue and yellow, but this time they didn't recombine, instead they split and my perspective shifted to viewing 3 different angles at once. One blue, one yellow, and one gray in between them looking at glowing blobs of energy, a blue one on the right and a yellow on on the left. They were connected to me by thin white fluctuating beams of light. They seemed to be where the other perspectives are coming from. 

I started to hear and feel one of myselves saying some but it was muffled and all I could make out was a vague feeling. Then the blue and yellow selves seemed to start having a conversation that I could not seem to process. It was like I was hearing words and vague wisps of intent but had no idea what was being said. After a while I woke up again, but something was different. I felt like I could see more, but I wasn't sure what it was I could see that I couldn't before. It felt like a heavy fog had lifted from my mind. Whatever it was, started to make me feel a lot more overstimulated than before. The trade-off being I suddenly didn't feel as lonely anymore for some reason.

I went to take my morning meds and noticed that something was different, my normal estrogen pills seemed to have changed from the little white circles I was used to. They were now a bit bigger and football shaped like my Progesterone but I couldn’t find any seams on them and they appeared to be filled with some kind of milky white pearlescent liquid. I tried to break one open but I couldn’t seem to penetrate the outer shell so I examined the bottle. There were a few things different about the label now too, The patient name was a strange Sigil I’d never seen before. The medication name now said "Dreamadonteride" and the Prescriber information was some kind of symbol I’d never seen before that looked like a dot surrounded by a circle with three squiggly lines radiating out from the center. I looked at the pill again and felt a mix of conflicted feelings and voices inside, but one feeling rang out louder than the others. A voice telling me that this mysterious new pill would help me finally find my true self, would help me finally be happy. So I ignored the other voices in my head telling me to stop as I popped the pill into my mouth and took a drink of water. The voices finally calmed and went quiet. I still don’t know if this was the right choice, but I made it and I was going to stick with it.

[neo91502]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMM TIREDSMASHBROS!!!

note for tomm under the read more... lalala💥💥 @tiredsmashbros

ohhh tomm. tomm tiredmashbros, oh do you even know what has happened this, what, past half a year and counting? There has been so, so much improvement these past few months, whether that was to be art or even being able to grow the confidence to actually make a discord server and how well it is and how active it is to this day!!! It’s genuinely felt like it’s been so long, but truly only has been maybe about. since september so like 4 months maybe of the discord server? and so much has happened since then.

Onto the actual much deeper depths of paragraphs, you genuinely have changed my life in ways that I don’t think I could even achieve. Many days on vc’s, joking about the most random things, to the (about) most unexpected things, late night vc’s, the silly sleepover vc’s (technically late night... but shhhh), your paragraphs here, your just genuinely amazing self and personality. Even if you’re just another person in this world, I think you’re some of the best among everyone that I could’ve had the pleasure of getting to meet and know you.

I always loved the times when we vced and went “hey it’d be funny if we watched this video” then did that or, mainly, plan ahead and all. The pikmin iceberg (even if i fell asleep. whoops.), isaacwhy ltlvc, epic the musical, and so much more probably HSJDNSJ. I’ll always remember the first vc I was in with you, or at least the one that I think is the first since I think we both were muted then eventually unmuted JSIDJSSJ I still don’t remember who was all there... i think it’s really funny that like 1-2 months after that, we vced so much and literally couldn’t remember who was there in the first vc JSAKJSKDJD i think that vc was when we had that silly “IM NOT A TYPER” or something i think... I DONT HAVE THE ORIGINAL IMAGE SAVED RN JAHDJDSJ 💔💔💔 and i sounded in such despair because it was like 1 or 2 am for me and i had to be quiet... I always absolutely LOVE our vc’s together, even if i’m caught, i typically don’t actually feel that bad since it’s just like. augh. i have no idea how to explain it💔💔 but yeah 💥💥💥 —> EDIT HERE... LTIERALLY TALKING TO YOU IN DMS AND YOU LITERALY HAVE JT ON HAND. THE IM NOT A TYPER. BROOOOO IM GONNA GET YOU

The surprise you gave me for my birthday and the fact that you did an entire PARTY IN THE SERVER ???? dude i was genuinely so gobsmacked, even if i was late to it NSKDNSKAJA... there was so much going on, i’ll be so fr i literally can barely remember it other than you asking my favroite scene and saying flowerfield sunset and then some bit later you surprised me with the fanart of neo like GUH?????? oh my GOS AJAJSNSNbut even just the MERE IDEA of having a birthday party and the fact that you wanted to do one for me was so surprising and i’m so genuinely hyped for yours like GUH. I’m so HSJSNSJSJSKSKNDJD

as you already know, the drawing above took about 12 hours and 30 minutes to fully finish. honestly, to my first fanart of tsb to this one is just amazing and i wouldn’t be able to see such improvement if it weren’t for you, for your amazing lore of tsb (i will yap about this later...), stealing some of your silly techniques here and there, and so much more. i’m just. baffled at the thought of being here with your birthday today.

oh and your ART. oh my GOODNESS. Where do i even START. for one, i know for a FACT i have stolen silly little things out of your style because of how unique and silly it is and how i do this with all of my friends because i genuinely appreciate and love everything that everyone makes,,, i especially LOVE, oh my goodness do i LOVE how you do your coloring and shading. it’s so unique in a way that works so damn well with how you do your lines, whether it’s sketchy or not, the outlines, everything bro. the rendering gets me the most. you WITNESSED me STRUGGLE to recreate it because i really wanted to try out and do a piece more in your style of things!! i do want to say it had been actually so fun doijg that... i should do it again lalalala... BUT ANYWASY!!!!! i’ve always just. oh my god. LOVE and just BUSHSURHEJSNA i just love how do you comics bro,.... no matter if they’re the ones like your final or the ones like the memories tsb lore... and especially the SPEED YOU GET THESE DONE AT ???? BRO IM SO JEALOUS IN THE BEST WAY POSSINLE... i don’t think i’ll ever stop looking up to you bro...

and now the lore. oh my Lore. Lore lore lore lore . im gonna gET YOUUUUUUU. i’m so INVESTED in tsb’s lore... the creation of this whole universe with cartoony characteristics (it’s literally just. HOW DO I EXPLIJA IT ITS BASISLY LIKE JUST A CARTOON WHDJSNS AND I LOVE IT), pipedream, watchman, the mysterious feeling, the character development. bro EVERYHTING. i cant BELEIVE you hide so much shit in the tiniest things, make entire comics out of what look like such simple asks but no your ass is over here producing COMICS for this bro..... i’m so jealous oh my GOD...... there’s so much i can think of but it feels so little of what we actually know (confirmed) so far... also i see you editing the playlist... your ass is NOT SLICK!!!

comsider all of these paragraphs and everything i’ve said to you already in vc as revenge for all the genuine most kindest paragraphs i’ve read in my life in the reblogs of tsb fanart... guh.... also off topic from this, i realized this is the first time you’ll see me draw emmet oh my god....

i’m so sure i have more to say but my ass actually cant think of anything brooooo.... maybe i’ll send you paragraphs in dms when i think of it and actually remember it GUH.... OH OH WAIT WAIT ALL THE JOKES THAT WE’VE MADE. dude i’m always just being so silly in vc and i think it’s really silly and comedic when you’re over there making silly little doodles and i just go “you should draw tsmg4/smg4 with long hair/smg34” or other alike things.... i don’t think i’ll also ever live down the times when i fell asleep on vc and you were there for i think all of them except maybe 1 ? i have no clue... bro your voice genuinely so calming i’m gonna fall asleep again some day 😭😭

okay enough yapping about that i THINK...., when I first found you, it was literally from the lipbite part 1 comic 😭😭 and i was like “oh hey, i actually kind of really like this person’s art!!” so yk. i followed you!!! if i told my past self that i’d be sitting here right now, typing all of this out, they wouldnt believe me. I’m genuinely just so baffled at the mere thought of being here and being able to call you a friend. hell. i’d even say best friends / close friends bro... i cannot even fathom the thought of that in the past, yet, here i am, able to call you a friend that i talk to about regularly i’d say.

I want to say it again; Happy birthday Tomm, I hope you have one of the best birthdays in your life and thank you for everything.

-Neo 💙

also,,, here’s a silly meme

part 1 of 2 ... i mean. who said that!!!!

part 2 here

[ensemblesongs]

I gotta say I’m really disappointed that you have decided to partake in this ridiculous boycott that is built on lack of research and racism. I can’t find it in myself to support someone who openly supports hate towards the Ryukyuan people and Japanese people. I wish you the best in real life but I strongly urge you to do proper research before blindly following the wolves in sheep’s clothing who pretend to care about racial discrimination.

I understand why you might feel this way. I'm sure that there are misguided people amongst the bunch, or people who are only participating in a performative way. But what Happy Elements has done felt malicious and hurt me and many others with their lack of consideration for long-term fans, and most importantly, their lack of sensitivity. Do you not see the issues in how this narrative is being handled...? I'm uncertain on what you mean by hate towards Japanese people. Addressing the country's past, and the company's failures, is not hating on an entire ethnic group. Maybe you've seen things on social media that I haven't. If you'd like, you can give me more of your perspective to enlighten me. The plea for me to research is also a little vague...💦

Real-life Ryukyuan (and Ainu, who are not the same, but have shared a similar pain), and other indigenous people have expressed support of this boycott, what about their perspective? Does it not matter? They don't speak for every single one, but I think it's worth taking into consideration, nonetheless. I'm not blindly following anyone, even if there are people that I trust more than I trust myself when it comes to knowledge on certain topics because they know more than I do, I have tried to do my own research, too — and I know that Ibuki's story is reflective of that of the experience of many real Ryukyuan people, a choice that they make themselves. I have a more hopeful view about this situation than most. Still, I do not trust Happy Elements with this decision due to their history of actual racism and failure to address these subjects with the necessary care, though I see their attempts to in stories like Matrix. (Which is a story I don't hate nearly as much as the average person does and don't see as OOC, either, and only really found problems with the Takashi subplot being unnecessary and the village's plot-twist. The wave of hate over a story most didn't even read themselves was quite peculiar. This is different.)

There is a clear bias in the writing room as seen in many other stories, even when it isn't hatred there is a feeling that there's more fascination towards the subject of racial minorities than care, and this was the final straw for many fans. I don't think it's wrong for Rinne to be written to have internalized racism, even if it's being written by Japanese authors. Similarly, I am not upset at the concept of Ibuki being involved with AKATSUKI. I was actually excited at the prospect of them interacting more, I'm more so upset at the execution and the imperialist undertones which are all too expected from a careless company like they have been for years. Not just that, but even if it wasn't racist, the desecration of AKATSUKI, a group that has been there since the beginning, with an utterly mischaracterized story that dumbs them down to their past selves and breaks promises the real Keito had made, and how HE continues to puppet their mangled corpses around for all to see, and the hatred Ibuki and possibly Chiaki Kobayashi will have to face because of this decision, one they knew no one would like, would remain. Not to mention, their audacity in trying to make the audience feel bad for disagreeing with this, making the characters say things along the lines of, "I'm sure fans will be upset".

I'm someone who loves Ansta. Deeply. I never aligned with people who hate it while being into it and always tried to have hope. So, I take my criticism of it seriously. When it comes to my activity on here, I'm doing the same I have for years, and I just thought people who are participating, and mean well, would benefit from what I post. I appreciate your kind wishes and I wish you well, too. Thank you for having supported Ensemble Songs.

[dailyjevil]

Day 150 of posting Jevil every day

[pilonciillo]

lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety

[maxgicalgirl]

I’m not going to lie I’m like really stuck and don’t know what to do with my feelings about All Of This. I dont have therapy until next week and they don’t have space to move me up and I dont really have anyone else to talk through how I feel ? I dont know what to do.

[flashhwing]

I’m here to say that you may absolutely express negativity about veilguard to me as long as it’s not stupid. hate on it for real reasons, of which there are plenty, most of which I’m ignoring because of the hype but would be glad to discuss in a civilized manner. no forced positivity in this zone this is a safe space. unless your criticism is dumb as fuck then I will point and laugh

[star-crossed-lizards]

i miss my ex but i don’t miss the effect he had on me something terrible happens to me when im in a relationship and it just ruins everything

[seilon]

shouldn’t have checked my bank account as expected my mother has taken thousands more dollars from my savings and has almost run me dry more or less. Cool!

[simplyghosting]

Helping out a friend with some family legal problems and they sent me some of the text exchanges for documentation and my immediate reaction to reading what my friend said was

[inspectorseb]

Guess who’s miraculously the only person in my house that don’t have Covid 💪🏻

Both my parents are miserable right now and we knows they got it from my grandfather who we saw Sunday but didn’t find out he had it until Monday. I don’t have it now but if I get it I’m gonna be fucking pissed cause I have never had Covid in the over 4 years it’s been around. And I’m the only person I know who still always wears a mask whenever I’m out in public

So I have now quarantined myself to the living room where I’m sleeping on an air mattress. I mean it ain’t that bad tho cause I’m right next to the kitchen and it means I have the big ass tv and my ps5 lol. You might be thinking why not just stay in your own room? Because of the shitty timing we’re supposed to be completely redoing my room rn which means all my shit is everywhere, I have no floor, I can’t sleep in my own bed 💀

Also there is a long ass rant about stuff in the rags that you don’t have to read. Really you didn’t even have to read anything anyways lol.

[bobzora]

yeah femc has some really solid romance routes but i just cannot be assed to care too much because there are some crazy level yuri goings on in this game

[iwillstopcrying]

and i long to stop loving you because i’m too weak, i would love to give you my heart but you’d hate me for it.

[icelogged]

i’ve been putting beets in my salads recently and ♡ ♡ ♡

[whimsyprinx]

also idk if I just talk too much or tell too little or some combination of both