#and i’m EXHAUSTED we went biking for like two hours and it was fun but i’m completely physically and psychologically exhausted

[un-pearable]

annotated bibliographyyyyyy

[itstheoneshot]

Kinktober Day 9

Accidental stimulation - Felix

!sub Felix

It wasn’t too often that you went to the gym with your boyfriend, you much preferred to go alone, but he had been asking for a while now, coming up with the excuse that he wanted help with his cardio endurance, and you had finally given in and taken him with you.

You are hot and sweaty, after a mile run on the treadmill and some strength training in the middle to break it up, you are back in the cardio area of the gym, this time choosing to ride the stationary bicycles.

“Feel like a challenge?” You ask Felix as you adjust the straps at your feet, “See who can travel the furthest in 30 minutes.”

Your boyfriend groans, clearly more exhausted than you are, but he never backs down from a chance at a win, so he nods at you before getting adjusted on his seat.

“Ready?” You ask, “Go!”

You zone out as you begin a steady pace, not pushing yourself too fast too early, a half hour ride isn’t too hard, but after the exercise you have already done it may be a little much if you try and sprint it.

After a few minutes, you notice that Felix has gone quiet which is unlike him, he has been chatty and making light fun the entire time you have been here. Even when he is competitive he isn’t quiet, so you let yourself fall distracted to glance over at him.

His cheeks are flushed red, and he stares down at his feet as he continues to ride, though he looks a bit pained.

“You okay, Lix?” You ask him, your voice shaking him out of his focus enough to make him blink.

“I’m okay,” He replies quickly, “I’m fine.”

You don’t believe him for a second, as he bites his bottom lip and shuts his eyes, continuing to ride but looking less and less like he is functioning.

“Lix-ah,” You murmur, your demeanour softening, “Tell me what’s going on.”

You swear he almost whimpers when you switch your tone of voice, it always soothes him when you speak like this, though you don’t often speak to him in such a manner other than in the privacy of your home.

It embarrasses him, the way that he submits to you with only a few words in a sweeter tone, but he always does, and you adore him for it.

“I…” He starts, “Baby, it feels good.”

Your suspicions were correct, and you glance down again to see the beginning of an erection in his gym shorts. Your eyes glaze over as you process that this is happening, out in public, at risk of others seeing. Felix and his pathetic, beautiful accidental stimulation kink.

“Oh honey,” You sigh, smiling sweetly at him, “Did you sit wrong? Did you graze yourself on that hard bike seat, hmm?”

You keep your voice down, of course, but the gym is almost empty anyway, nobody is near you, but Felix still finds admitting it out loud humiliating.

“Mhmm,” He nods, “Can we go? Can you fix it?”

You laugh aloud, legs still pedalling, you have a competition to win, though your competitor is definitely at a disadvantage now.

“I don’t think so,” You tell him, “Keep going, it’s okay if you move to make it feel better.”

Felix’s eyes widen, he is not used to you saying no, which you can understand. You may be in charge, but in reality, he has you wrapped around his finger, willing to bend the rules at any moment to appease him.

“But,” He starts, “Really?”

You raise a brow at him, glancing at the screen on your bike and then over at his. There isn’t a huge difference between the distance you two have ridden, theoretically he could catch up, but he will have to try.

“Yes, baby,” You reply, “Come on, if you beat me, I’ll help you, okay?”

Felix nods reluctantly, and resumes trying to pedal a little faster, each movement of his legs clearly rubbing him in the right places as he furrows his brows in concentration, trying not to let himself look too blatantly aroused. You aren’t blind to this, knowing him as well as you know yourself, it is obvious to you that he is getting off to this, and it turns you the fuck on, too.

You try to focus, watching the timer on your display as it nears the thirty minute mark, but you are definitely distracted by Felix’s heavy breathing beside you, wishing it was you that was making him hot and heavy. You count down in your head, more than ready to get off this bike, and onto him instead.

“You did it,” You turn to him as you finally stop pedalling, “Did you win?”

He’s a mess, his forehead glistening with sweat, his eyes are hazy and unfocused staring back at you as he too stops moving.

You don’t even look at the distance, reaching a hand out for him, his cock is clearly visible now, his hands are shaking as you take them.

“Let’s go shower,” You go on, “And let’s hope we don’t get caught.”

———

Kinktober Masterlist!

[norwayblogging]

Week 28/08 - 03/09 28th august:

A refreshing new week has begun again! Today was merely a theoretical day since we’ve had some lessons throughout the hours. I’ve worked on my blog today and went to the gym with some others. Tomorrow will hopefully be filled with more adventure!

29th august:

Mushroom time! In the morning I’ve had theoretical talk about mushrooms; the ones that are safe to eat and the ones that can kill you (Yes, kill you… I’m not joking). My class was divided into 2 groups, My group had to search for different kinds of mushrooms in the school area whilst the other group had more time to learn about the ways of kayaking. Since my group didn’t have much luck in finding a lot of mushrooms, we asked if we could drive a little further towards the woods a few kilometers away from the school to find more. We got green light ofcourse! And we found so many mushrooms!!! (Many edible ones and a few toxic ones.) In the afternoon, my group went snorkling. It was a little nerve racking for me since we were in the water again… But I enjoyed it a lot, I was so fascinated by the schools of fish that I observed. Sadly the day was a little cloudy and windy so we couldn’t admire all of the beauty of the fjords today.

30th august:

What a lovely morning! I helped the others with making some waffledough. Why waffledough? You probably think to yourself. Well… Today is International day, everyone represents their country with their lovely national dishes. Us as Belgians decided to bring homemade fries and waffles to the table! I enjoyed this day so much! My social meter was filled up to the brim and I talked more to everyone. I tasted every dish from every country that was represented; Danish applecake, Catalonian pudding and tortilla de patatas, Dutch homemade kruidnoten and Swiss grittibänz. Lastly we also got some free pizza, presented by the school itself. You could pretty much say that I ate myself round today. In the afternoon I rented an electrical bike from the school and I went to the store by bike with a dormmate. The sun was out so it was a really beautiful day to go biking!

31st august:

I started my day with some morning classes. We got some information from a guy to prepare ourselves for the glazier trip in two weeks. I’m feeling nervous for the next upcoming weeks. Next week we will be going on a canoetrip. The week after will be the glaziertrip. Lastly, there will be one week of Leirschole (Some sort of forestclasses like we have in Belgium but slightly different). Everything is so close to each other which can make the next few weeks very exhausting. But… I’m really excited to learn all these new things! It was beautiful weather outside and nicely warm. I took my book, some drinks and snacks and went all the way to a nearby small island near school to chill. I took some time to relax before all of the trips. The sounds and the view were amazing! In the evening I played some cards with a few of my dormmates which was very fun.

1st september:

Let’s go biking! I WAS SO TIRED OMG. You can say that biking isn’t one of my best qualities 🤣 The goal of our bike tour was to go to the kindergarten, primary and secondary school in the area. On Sunday we have to go to an event that’s near one of the schools, so it’s nice to know the way to it. During our trip we encountered a beautiful pathway were different kinds of fairy tales were displayed through self made puppets. The puppets were made by the community of the area. If you went further down the pathway, you could search for the hidden trolls in the forest. Also witches were hanging from the branches and on sticks along the path. It really felt as if we were biking through a dream. On the way back to campus, I ate lunch with some other dormmates on a picknick bench since the weather turned really sunny. After lunch, we biked back home and enjoyed the view of the island.

2nd september:

Finally I got myself to Heiane and I expected it a little different really. It felt like an industrialised small town. I was mainly here to go shopping for a micro-SD-Card since I want to use my gopro-camera on the next few trips. But I also got some clothing hangers and other stuff for my room, to make it more liveable and cosy. I made some pancakes for dinner and went to the gym.

3rd september:

Rainy, rainy, rainy!! Today we had to bike to a nearby event, organised for the families and children of the area. It was raining sadly… But the small adventurous hike was nice. Along the path, they displayed some questions that you had to answer. You could play games, canoe and more. At some point we arrived at a Gapahuk (Some type of wooden shelter) where they served hotdogs and juice. I ate two hotdogs 🤭 After that, we went back to the studenthousing to dry. It was a lovely day today. From now on, the weeks will become more intense!! I’m nervous and excited at the same time! ☺️

Week 28/08 - 03/09 28 augustus:

Een verfrissende nieuwe week is weer begonnen! Vandaag was slechts een theoretische dag omdat we de hele dag les hadden. Ik heb vandaag aan mijn blog gewerkt en ben met een paar anderen naar de sportschool geweest. Morgen zal hopelijk gevuld zijn met meer avontuur!

29 augustus:

Paddenstoelentijd! In de ochtend heb ik een theoretisch gesprek gehad over paddenstoelen; de paddenstoelen die je veilig kunt eten en de paddenstoelen die je kunnen doden (Ja, doden… ik maak geen grapje). Mijn klas werd verdeeld in 2 groepen. Mijn groep moest op zoek naar verschillende soorten paddenstoelen in de buurt van de school, terwijl de andere groep meer tijd had om te leren over de manieren van kajakken. Omdat mijn groep niet veel geluk had met het vinden van paddenstoelen, vroegen we of we een stukje verder konden rijden naar het bos een paar kilometer van de school om er meer te vinden. We kregen natuurlijk groen licht! En we vonden zo veel paddenstoelen!!! (Veel eetbare en een paar giftige). In de middag ging mijn groep snorkelen. Het was een beetje zenuwslopend voor mij omdat we weer in het water waren… Maar ik vond het erg leuk, ik was zo gefascineerd door de scholen vis die ik zag. Helaas was het vandaag een beetje bewolkt en winderig, dus we konden niet alle schoonheid van de fjorden bewonderen.

30 augustus:

Wat een heerlijke ochtend! Ik heb de anderen geholpen met het maken van wafeldeeg. Waarom wafeldeeg? Je denkt waarschijnlijk bij jezelf. Nou… Vandaag is het internationale dag, iedereen vertegenwoordigt zijn land met zijn mooie nationale gerechten. Wij als Belgen besloten om zelfgemaakte frietjes en wafels op tafel te zetten! Ik heb zo genoten van deze dag! Mijn sociale meter was tot de rand gevuld en ik heb met iedereen meer gepraat. Ik proefde van elk gerecht uit elk land dat vertegenwoordigd was; Deense appeltaart, Catalaanse pudding en tortilla de patatas, Nederlandse zelfgemaakte kruidnoten en Zwitserse grittibänz. Tot slot kregen we ook nog gratis pizza, aangeboden door de school zelf. Je zou bijna kunnen zeggen dat ik me vandaag helemaal volgegeten heb. In de middag huurde ik een elektrische fiets van de school en ging ik op de fiets naar de winkel met een huisgenoot. De zon scheen, dus het was echt een prachtige dag om te fietsen!

31 augustus:

Ik begon mijn dag met wat ochtendlessen. We kregen wat informatie van een jongen om ons voor te bereiden op de glaszettersreis over twee weken. Ik ben zenuwachtig voor de komende weken. Volgende week gaan we op kanotocht. De week daarna is de glaszettersreis. Tot slot is er nog een week Leirschole (een soort bosklassen zoals we die in België hebben, maar dan net iets anders). Alles ligt zo dicht bij elkaar wat de komende weken erg vermoeiend kan maken. Maar… ik heb er echt zin in om al die nieuwe dingen te leren! Het was prachtig weer buiten en lekker warm. Ik nam mijn boek, wat drinken en snacks mee en ging helemaal naar een klein eilandje vlakbij school om te chillen. Ik nam even de tijd om te ontspannen voor alle uitstapjes. De geluiden en het uitzicht waren geweldig! s Avonds heb ik met een paar klasgenoten gekaart, wat erg leuk was.

1 september:

Laten we gaan fietsen! IK WAS ZO MOE OMG. Je kunt wel zeggen dat fietsen niet een van mijn beste kwaliteiten is 🤣 Het doel van onze fietstocht was om naar de kleuterschool, basisschool en middelbare school in de omgeving te gaan. Zondag moeten we naar een evenement in de buurt van een van de scholen, dus het is leuk om de weg ernaartoe te weten. Tijdens onze reis kwamen we een prachtig pad tegen waar verschillende sprookjes werden getoond door middel van zelfgemaakte poppen. De poppen waren gemaakt door de gemeenschap van het gebied. Als je verder het pad afliep, kon je op zoek gaan naar de verborgen trollen in het bos. Ook hingen er heksen aan de takken en aan stokken langs het pad. Het voelde echt alsof we door een droom fietsten. Op de terugweg naar de campus at ik lunch met een paar andere klasgenoten op een picknickbank omdat het weer erg zonnig werd. Na de lunch fietsten we terug naar huis en genoten we van het uitzicht op het eiland.

2 september:

Eindelijk was ik in Heiane en ik had het eigenlijk een beetje anders verwacht. Het voelde als een geïndustrialiseerd stadje. Ik was hier vooral om te winkelen voor een micro-SD-kaart, omdat ik mijn gopro-camera wil gebruiken op de volgende reizen. Maar ik heb ook wat kledinghangers en andere spullen voor mijn kamer gekocht, om het wat leefbaarder en gezelliger te maken. Ik maakte pannenkoeken voor het avondeten en ging naar de sportschool.

3 september:

Regen, regen, regen!!! Vandaag moesten we op de fiets naar een evenement in de buurt, georganiseerd voor de families en kinderen uit de buurt. Het regende helaas… Maar de kleine avontuurlijke wandeling was leuk. Langs het pad stonden vragen die je moest beantwoorden. Je kon spelletjes doen, kanoën en nog veel meer. Op een gegeven moment kwamen we aan bij een Gapahuk (een soort houten schuilplaats) waar ze hotdogs en sap serveerden. Ik heb twee hotdogs gegeten 🤭 Daarna gingen we terug naar het studentenhuis om te drogen. Het was een heerlijke dag vandaag. Vanaf nu worden de weken intenser!!! Ik ben zenuwachtig en opgewonden tegelijk! ☺️

[hungerandthirst]

okay first program of the season is over (grade 4s from an all-girls school) and this is where we’re at

i miss having the bigger staff team at my old workplace (about 20 to 25 people there vs 4 to 6 of us at this place)

i kiiiiind of miss having younger coworkers but i also kind of don’t? the people here are a huge range (next youngest after me is late 20s, one in early 30s, two in their 40s, and one guy who’s almost 70!) and from a fun-with-coworkers perspective i feel like it’s not as good but it also brings a really different energy to the program and i think i can learn a lot from them

ethically/educationally i think our messaging is really strong – all of the staff here have a much more nuanced understanding of the environmental crises of the world and how they interplay with socioeconomics than my old bosses did, and they really genuinely care about making an impact and getting these kids outdoors. a lot of the kids this week sat on the forest floor for the first time ever in their lives.

on that point, this actually feels like “outdoor education” rather than “activities that happen outdoors.” soooooo many camps are just like archery and rock climbing and biking and it’s all about “personal development” but here they manage to do that while actually teaching about nature

i did aunt houda’s chickens at the campfire and it KILLED

god this job is tiring. mostly in a good way. but i’m excited for the summer and just working with adults because you don’t have to be switched on in the same way.

the thing i’m honestly the most nervous about is just getting lost in the forest with the kids. the “trails” we follow are just pieces of flagging tape and i’m gonna be out there with them for like 3 hours walking around. so scared of not being able to get back 😬

i really really really don’t like the way the owner of this place talks to his wife. literally everything else about him is great, but sometimes his wife will be trying to say something and he’ll talk to her like she’s a child until she stops talking. it’s so uncomfortable to watch. and she doesn’t even seem bothered by it but he literally just keeps repeating her name in the most patronizing tone of voice until she stops trying to talk.

we mostly cater to private schools (and this is unfortunately extremely prevalent in outdoor education just by virtue of which schools can afford to come and do our kinds of programs) which is too bad because i think kids from less privileged backgrounds would really benefit from what we’re doing. at the same time it’s a good opportunity to talk to kids with more resources and get them to think critically about how their consumption impacts people and the planet.

spitballing off of that point: what if we went to private schools and asked families to donate the outdoor gear that their kids have grown out of, until we eventually had a big enough stock to supply a whole grade with appropriate clothing and footwear? maybe we could also ask for monetary donations when parents are signing the consent forms and could get enough money to waive the fee for a school from the DTES? staff could potentially volunteer or accept a pay reduction for those 3 days or whatever, and then we could potentially provide an almost cost-free opportunity for lower income schools to send their kids to us. hmmm.

okay well ultimately, i had a lot of fun, i’m absolutely exhausted, and i made $750 in three days. so all in all life is pretty good

[seokjinsonlyone]

so i got on tiktok for more than five minutes for the first time in like a month the other day and i saw they was doing this trend where it’s sorta like fmk but like husband, boyfriend, or sneaky link and i just wanted to add my two cents

namjoon:

this is your boyfriend

i know you may be thinking ???? boyfriend???? not husband??????????

but yes boyfriend listen we all know this man is brilliant; big brained and big bodied; cognitive skills off the charts; he knows a thing or two about a thing or two

however, he just ain’t there yet 😭 he don’t even got his license y’all gon flub on the contraceptives once or twice and next thing you know you strapping your kid into the basket of his bike so he can drop them off to school 😩

and his cooking……….. like watching this man with a knife gives me anxiety

he has a bit of growth to do but that’s why you date before getting married 🥳🥳🥳

y’all would go on the beeeest dates i’m talking museums, picnics, hikes, and yes bike rides

and like he’s just so sweet and thoughtful and he tries his very best to be gentle despite his destructive nature so it would just be so cute and fun for him to be your boyfriend

seokjin:

it goes without saying that this is your husband

to be honest ion even really need to elaborate on this one like…

he cooks; he cleans; he’s thoughtful, supportive, silly, will do anything to make you happy…

everything you could ever want and need in a man is manifested in kim seokjin

so just lemme tell you what this ^^ gif is this is like three months after you’ve given birth to your second child

he got home from work way later than expected he was tired exhausted really but still helped you with your new baby taking turns tending to them on and off all night

you had just gotten into a really good sleep when your alarm went off signaling it was time to get child number 1 up and ready for school

you groaned sitting up but before you could even get out of bed he was wiping the sleep from his eyes and telling you he was going to take care of it

“but you got off late last night and you helped me too”

he reassured you that it was fine and that he had it he knew how hard you worked all day everyday and you never got the opportunity to clock out

it was his day off anyway so he kissed your forehead and told you to get back to sleep

which was a bit easier said than done bc those two were like bulls in a china cabinet there was whining and scuttling all around a few disagreements on which outfit your child should wear and what they should eat for breakfast

but soon enough you looked out the window and saw jin adjusting his shorts and a few seconds later your child bobbling out after him backpack a little too big for their body before they walked hand in hand to the car

that’s… what that is… that’s your husband

and when i say your i mean mine that’s my husband

you can keep scrolling 😗✌️

yoongi:

husband <33333

like jin this man is the total package

he cooks, cleans, is loving and supportive, will take care of you emotionally, and on top of that he’s handy! extensive knowledge about interior design!

like if you want some pictures hanged or a shelf built or something this is the man for you

your lil bob the builder <3

like idk what it is with this man but something about him is just so soft and makes me want to love and be loved by him

like if this is not your husband this is your long term boyfriend you are dating him for no less than five years and when you part way you ain’t gon know how to live without him

so don’t leave

bring the documents he already said so

hoseok:

boyfriend 100%

hobi just seems so partnerable

i look at him and i see movie nights and pillow talk

i see cuddles and late night facetime calls

your own personal hope on the streets when he wants to loosen up or practice or relieve stress😩

you go to a restaurant and each pick a dish and share it with each other like he’s very much giving one milkshake 2 straws

or you two cook together side by side he’s chopping vegetables and cleaning while you’re sautéing and stir frying and what not

you go shopping with him and critique his outfits when he tries them on and vice versa

i don’t even know man i just see hobi and i think he’s flawless i want to give him the world

and i think about that time when he said one of his personal goals was to become special to someone 😭😭😭

so like girl get your boyfriend and just give him all the love he’s searching for all the love he deserves

jimin:

….sneaky link

look at him smh caught in 4k sending a “you up?” text at the tender hour of 3am

idk what to tell ya man he just ain’t bout it rn

he ain’t looking for nothing but fun

atm it’s just him and his bros

every once in a while he’ll go searching for a connection for a night or two

there may be a few repeat offenders a string of flings if you will but never anything serious

i can see it in his eyes everyone can really bc he flirts with every living and nonliving thing in sight

taehyung:

husband

now you may be thinking… is he not on par with namjoon when it comes to practical skills???

and like yes perhaps but he definitely is not as much as a liability

like i think i can trust him to open a packet of barbecue sauce without risk of ruining my outfit and like i know i wouldn’t fear for my life if he was slicing a hard boiled egg

which is not to say that i wouldn’t mind getting stabbed by joon there are certainly worse ways to go but that’s not what we’re talking about

what we’re talking about is tae and how i just know with him you’d be safe physically mentally and emotionally 🥺🥺🥺

and idk if it’s bc i done seen him in slacks one too many times but something about him just screams commitment

like he’s giving 401k he’s giving life insurance he’s giving condo in florida where you spend the winter bc your bones get too cold where you normally live

but you know what he’s also giving passion like you will 100% spend the rest of your life in love with this man

like in that picture it’s giving you’ve been married for three years it’s wednesday and he’s off so he asked you on a date

it’s taking you longer than anticipated to get ready you wanted to look pretty for him bc truthfully you don’t get to go on dates often as much as he’d like to

your hair and makeup is finally done so you find him and tell him you’re almost done and you’ll be out as soon as you slip on your outfit

he lazily turns his head to you and tells you to take your time there’s no rush and he’s just looking at you with absolute hearts in his eyes

you’re not even fully ready and there’s hearts in his eyes 😭 it makes your heart race and you can’t keep the smile off your face as you get ready for your date, for the rest of your life together with him

jungkook:

i know y’all gon hate to hear this one but… sneaky link

^^ that may be your boyfriend but you ain’t his girlfriend 😭

that is the face of someone you called and told that you wanted to stop messing around bc you was getting attached but he convinced you that it didn’t have to be all that and acted cute until you changed your mind

listen this man is in his prime he ain’t tryna settle down

the moment you try to commit is the moment he jumps out the window

and this is not to say that he’s not a good boy but like i’ve known jungkooks i’ve been friends with jungkooks and the second you try to take things farther than what they want that’s when they stomp all over your heart

however i do firmly believe that jungkook ain’t like them others he’s more than a good boy he’s the best boy

and if he like idk heard bells when you walked by or was pulled by the red string of fate or like felt the yearning or whatever it is that he done conjured up in his head he’d be everything and more 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

so my energy seems to be continuing to improve, if very slowly, but after the past few years where i’ve been bedbound ~22 hours of the day, it’s something i’m thrilled to experience. i’m not only cooking more and more (though in chunks every few days, not every single day like i used to), i feel like i have to actually force myself to stay in bed instead of running downstairs to bake something, because i know doing too much will set me back.

(not to get into a tangent, but this is why it drives me fucking nuts when people imply that chronically ill/disabled people are ‘lucky’ for ‘getting’ to stay in bed all day every day. staying in bed for a weekend is fun; staying in bed for a decade is not fun.)

it’s kind of funny how getting back to cooking is partly like riding a bike and partly like having to start all over again. i keep having to buy new jars and bags and boxes of things because what i have expired in 2016 and has been sitting in my pantry all this time while i lied in bed. and, much like my guitar calluses from when i was 15, i’ve totally lost my chef fingers! i keep touching hot things and going “FUCK”. 

this tuesday i did my once-every-six-weeks massive grocery trip (which sounds like i have my shit together, but it’s mostly fear of being exposed to covid in this shithole state and not having the energy to go more frequently; we supplement with online orders and a small delivery in the middle for fresh stuff), and i have so much stuff planned that’s actually exciting. (i made burritos with those pinto beans i cooked from dry the other day and i honestly think they’re the best beans i’ve ever had. i bought a bunch more dried legumes, and i even bought YEAST!)

i’ve spent the last couple weeks meticulously planning the details of what i want to make and how to keep things from going bad (i’ve been pickling lots of veg to keep them from spoiling, and learning how, like, wrapping cucumber in paper towels keeps them good much longer), and i was kind of nervous about buying raw meat for the first time in literally a couple years, but i was actually able to go downstairs just two days after shopping (i used to be stuck in bed for close to a week after the big shopping trip) and do two hours of cooking! that’s fucking huge for me.

i also treated myself to a HUGE sheet tray and a 24 cup muffin pan, because the more i can cook at once the more i can do. last night i roasted 3 pounds of mushrooms AT ONE TIME instead of standing by the stove sautéing half a pound at a time. honestly, fatigue is the mother of brilliant shortcuts.

i got a beautiful eye of round roast, my favorite kind of roast, and i’m planning on making some very simple yeast rolls to go with it, which is also really exciting. i used to be a person who bought 25lb sacks of whole grain and put it through my grain mill to make flour and then baked my own bread and bagels and pie crusts, but my health has been so bad i haven’t even made a pan of muffins in at least a couple years. my kitchen is a messy wreck, but if i can actually clean the shit off the countertops and rescue my stand mixer from where it’s buried, if i can knead dough with my hands again...

these last few years as i got worse and worse, i honestly feared that i was just going to keep going downhill until i died. i went through so many nights lying in the dark by myself, in pain and exhausted and unable to sleep, my little tv on 24/7 because if i was in complete silence i would start thinking about how i would rather be dead than have this be the rest of my life, that just the glimmer of hope of being able to achieve even a fraction of what i used to do when i wasn’t even healthy but just less-sick-than-this, it’s really... it’s good. there’s still a lot wrong, i wouldn’t actually call myself ‘happy’ or even ‘not super fucking depressed’, but just to have a sliver of hope makes a genuine difference. 

anyway, i guess i just wanted to share what i’ve been going through lately, and also explain why you may have been seeing fewer posts or answered asks from me. i’m definitely not going anywhere, but being productive is addictive (so is my food... i’m a really good cook 😁), so most of my spoons have been going to kitchen work rather than typing. 

and thank you in advance for your kind words, because i have such lovely followers and you always leave the sweetest comments and i don’t usually have the energy to respond to each one. thank you for being there to support me in the dark times too. <3

[drabbles-mc]

“I Like This”

Kozik x OFC (Tawnie Trager)

Request by @adela-topaz-caelon: Was re-reading the Kozik fic with the hickey, and I was reading the part where it said "fell into place", so I was wondering if we could get a prequel to that (The original fic can be found Here)

Warnings: language, alcohol

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: Relationship build-ups are my jam! Hope you enjoy! xo

Join my group-chat here: (X)

SOA Taglist: @masterlistforimagines @garbinge @mijop @chibsytelford @xladymacbethx @i-just-read-stuff @kkim120 @multiyfandomgirl40 @everyhowlmarksthedead @toni9 @unicornucopia-fuckers @mayans-mc @shadow-of-wonder @punkgoddess-98 @paintballkid711 @black-repunzel99 @lexondeck @jitterbugs927 (If you want to be added to the taglist just let me know!)

She let out a deep sigh as she cleaned up a few stray bottles that were scattered across the bar and tables. Part of her wanted to leave it to be someone else’s problem, but the other part of her knew that even if she went home, she’d probably be awake and cleaning there too. She tossed the bottles into the garbage bin before beginning to wipe everything down.

The clubhouse had never been so quiet—the music was off, the guys had all either gone home or back to their dorms, and she was the only one left and it made the clubhouse seem five times larger than usual.

The silence was broken by the sound of heavy footsteps. Turning around, she saw Kozik coming into the bar area. He looked exhausted and like his hangover was already starting. She chuckled quietly as he walked behind the bar and looked for something in particular.

“I don’t think it counts as hair of the dog until morning,” she said with a quiet laugh.

He shook his head, chuckling, “Believe it or not, I’m just looking for a bottle of water.”

She laughed, motioning under the bar, “Left cabinet, bottom shelf.”

“We don’t have any that are refrigerated?”

“You think anyone comes here to drink water?” she shot back with a laugh.

He smiled as he twisted the top off, “That’s fair,” he took a long drink and looked back over to her, finally realizing what she was doing. He shook his head slightly, “You don’t gotta be doing all of that, T. Let the prospects handle it in the morning.”

She shook her head, “I’m almost done here anyway. Let them take credit for it, though,” she smiled.

“The guys would never let them.”

She chuckled, “True,” she tossed the rag onto the surface of the bar, “Alright. Well, I’m outta here,” she went and grabbed her purse, “I’ll see you around?”

“Yea I’m, I’m not going anywhere.”

She flashed him a smile, “Nice to know you’re back for good.”

She started making her way towards the door before he could try to come up with any kind of response at all, let alone one that would make him sound smooth. He let out a quiet sigh as he watched her walk out the door of the clubhouse. She was the last woman in the world that he should spend his time thinking about or talking to, but something inside him said that that fact wasn’t going to matter anymore, especially if he was sticking around.

Over the next couple of days, the two of them would exchange quick hellos and goodbyes when they crossed paths. Before he’d seen her after hours at the clubhouse, Kozik never actually realized just how often Tig’s daughter was at the clubhouse and T-M. She pitched in and helped Gemma when necessary, and growing up as Tig’s daughter meant that she knew her way around bikes and cars well enough to be helpful at the shop.

Kozik saw her getting her things together at the end of the day and made his way over to her. She heard his footsteps and turned around, smiling when she saw him. He tucked his hands into his pockets, “You gonna be around later?” he nodded towards the clubhouse.

She laughed, shaking her head, “No, not this time. Got other plans. You boys will have to clean up your own beer bottles tonight.”

He chuckled, “You know it’ll never get done.”

She smiled, “I know. Have a good—”

“He bothering you, Tawnie?” Tig walked up, positioning himself between the two of them.

She huffed, rolling her eyes as she shook her head, “I’m fine, Dad. “

He looked from her over to Kozik, eyes narrowing, “Don’t you have other shit you should be doing? Like not talking to or making eye contact with my daughter?”

“Dad—”

Kozik spoke up before the situation got any worse, “My bad,” he held his hands up in surrender before turning and walking away.

When he was out of earshot, Tawnie gave her father a good shove, “Why do you need to be such a dick?”

“All these guys know you’re off-limits. But him especially,” Tig saw the way that she rolled her eyes and he pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head, “You know I love you, T.”

“I love you too,” she grumbled before stepping back, “I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”

“Alright. Drive safe, baby,” he watched her walk towards her car for a moment before turning back around. He saw the way that Kozik was also watching her and shook his head. He was about to walk up to him when he heard Clay calling for him from the clubhouse. With a sigh, Tig turned around and made his way over, granting Kozik another day without getting chewed out by him.

The last thing that Kozik wanted was more issues with Tig. The man had had it out for him for years and getting involved with his daughter wasn’t going to make that situation get any better. He told himself that he was going to try and stay away from Tawnie when he could—not go out of his way to talk to her and just hope that she would return the favor.

At the end of the work day, she was trying to pull the garage door down for one of the work bays—the wiring in it went weeks beforehand and no one had gotten around to fixing it yet so it only lowered it about a quarter of the way, leaving it mere inches out of her reach.

With a heavy sigh, she called over to the other side of the shop, “Hey, Kozik?”

He turned around as he finished wiping off his hands, “Yea?”

“Can you…?” she pointed up at the door, “I can’t reach it,” she had to laugh.

He chuckled as he made his way over, “Yea, of course.”

She watched him as he reached up and pulled the door down the rest of the way with ease, “I swear I’m just gonna start wearing heels to work so I can reach shit.”

He smiled, trying to stifle his laughter a little, “I’m not sure if that’s the most practical solution to your problem. But,” he let himself meet her gaze, “I’m not going to try and tell you not to.”

She laughed, “Probably better that way. I’m not the kind of person people usually win arguments against.”

“Must be a Trager thing,” he chuckled.

“Well,” she laughed as she let her hair down out of its ponytail, “I’m at least a much more graceful winner than my father.”

“I think that’s a low bar to set, T.”

She chuckled as the two of them made their way towards the door of the garage, “Maybe.”

Kozik stood by while he watched her lock the door to the garage, trying not to be obvious about the fact that he was staring at her, “Are you…are you coming by for the party tonight?”

She shrugged, flashing him a smile, “I was thinking about it, why?”

“Just wondering,” he didn’t want to sound like he was being nosey or pushy.

She started walking towards her car, motioning for him to follow her, “Club events are always, uh, hit or miss, for me,” she laughed, “I wanna have fun but it’s difficult when Tig doesn’t want anyone to, you know, look at me,” she looked over at Kozik and heard the nervous chuckle slip past his lips, “I’m sorry about all that shit before, by the way.”

He shook his head, “Don’t worry about it. I’m used to it.”

“Well in that case,” she smiled as she dug her keys out of her purse, “I’m even more sorry,” she laughed.

“I’ll see you later?” he gave it one last shot as she climbed into her car.

She smiled at him, “Maybe. Try to stay outta trouble, alright?”

He gave her a smile and a nod before she turned the key in the ignition and took off out of the compound. Letting out a deep breath, he walked towards the clubhouse to get ready for church before the party that night.

“Hey,” she called out over the noise of the party that was well underway, “Kozik!”

He turned his head in the direction of his name, eyebrows raising in surprise when he saw who was calling for him. He quickly made his way over to her, watching as she carried a case of beer inside. He offered to take it from her but she shook her head at him.

“Got three more outside. Help me grab those? Put those muscles to some good use?”

He laughed as he walked back the way she came in, “Yes ma’am.”

She walked by him as he carried two cases and she chuckled, “Show-off.”

“I left the last one for you,” he smiled.

“And they say chivalry is dead.”

That was the last exchange they had for the rest of the party. Kozik got swept up in the antics with his MC brothers, and Tawnie was content to sit back and keep an eye on everything. She was always ready to jump in and run interference between anyone—she and her father had that in common. She was better at keeping her temper in check but she was just as protective as he was. She never let anything shady slip by her if she could help it.

Luckily, it was a relatively uneventful night. Aside from a few of the Cara Cara girls drinking too much and needing to be driven home, everyone was on their best behavior, whatever that meant for them. Soon enough they were all riding off on their bikes or safely passed out in their dorms. This time, though, Kozik didn’t even bother disappearing back to his room at the end of the night, he just hung back and waited for everyone else to clear out.

“So,” Tawnie was making her rounds and collecting beer bottles again, “is 2AM the optimal time to try and talk to you?”

“Without me running the risk of getting murdered by your dad, yea,” he laughed as he sat down at the bar.

“Ah,” she threw the bottles away and grabbed fresh ones for each of them, popping the tops off before hopping up and sitting on the bar, “So it’s strategic.”

“Something like that,” he took a swig of his beer, “Or maybe I just want all of your attention.”

She chuckled, “Well, you certainly have it now,” she gently nudged his knee with her foot, “So what can I do for you, hm?”

“Keeping me company at 2AM is more than enough.”

“Mm,” she hummed with a laugh, “Talk about low bars.”

That became their new routine. In the small, quiet hours of the morning after everyone else was gone or passed out, the two of them had their time. Sometimes it was only a few minutes, other times it was a few hours. There came a point where both of them recognized that it was much more than just keeping each other company, but neither of them wanted to say anything and run the risk of ruining it.

The two of them were sitting at the picnic table outside the clubhouse. Everything was quiet, everyone had long since disappeared and gone to bed. Kozik sat next to her on the same side of the bench, the outside of his leg pressing lightly up against hers as she toyed with the beer bottle in her hands.

“Thank you,” she said as she looked over at him.

He tilted his head in confusion, “For what?”

“For always staying. I know that you’d probably rather be sleeping right now, like most people would at 3AM,” she laughed, “But I like…this.”

“This?” a smile passed over his features.

She laughed, “Yea. This.”

He leaned forward onto the table, his forearm resting right next to hers, “I like this too.”

There were a few seconds of silence before she turned to face him again, waiting for him to do the same. He felt her eyes on him and when he looked over and saw the way her lips were slowly curling up into a smile, it was hard to take his eyes off of her. He nervously drummed his fingers on the side of his beer bottle as he tried to figure out what he was going to say or do next, but it was hard to think underneath the weight of her gaze.

She reached over and put her hand on top of his, gently taking it off the bottle and resting it on top of the table so she could lock her fingers with his. He watched her every move, heart pounding quickly inside his chest.

She tugged him closer to her and he gave in with ho hesitation, leaning in as her hands rested on the back of his neck and pulled him into a kiss. Despite the shock coursing through his system he wrapped his arms around her waist, keeping her pulled tight as her fingers found their way up into his hair.

Weeks of late nights and whispered conversations all came together as he focused on the way that her lips moved against his. She let out a quiet moan as his fingers gripped onto her sides a little tighter, and for a moment he thought he was going to melt completely into her.

When she pulled away, trying to catch her breath as she felt her cheeks heating up, she couldn’t help but to let out a quiet laugh. Her let her hands lightly slide down his shoulders and arms until they interlocked with his.

“I think,” she looked at him, a playful light in her eyes, “we should definitely keep doing this.”

He couldn’t help but to laugh, pulling her in for a quick kiss, “Definitely.”

[agentsoftie]

morning meetings

summary: on vacation spencer rekindles an old love which brought him greater joy then he remembered

authors note: wow, this is my first fic in a while. hopefully it’s good. but yeah. i got this idea today too so i’m so sorry if it’s hella cheesy. but yeah

warnings: none! pure fluff

word count & pairing: spencer r & fem reader : 1.9k

remember to like and reblog!

The wind was blowing exactly 15mph and Spencer Reid had just arrived in Seattle. His job, as a profiler, took him all across the US. And his mind took him everywhere else. Although Seattle was different, Seattle was special. See, when his mother and father were still together, they took him here every summer. Because every summer they would come here, just to eat at Marge’s Hideout.

Today although, he wasn’t there because of his job. He was there on vacation. Or any form of that for him.

After checking out of his hotel and going for a walk on the pier, there was only one thing on his mind, coffee. Coffee from Marge’s.

So he picked up biked and went along the trail. Not using GPS, not since he had an eidetic memory, but since he knew the path by heart. Every good memory he’s had in his childhood always took place here, in Seattle. More specifically, on Louise’s Trail that goes straight through the town, and leading right to Marge’s Hideout. Although full of cobblestones and vines, it truly felt like you were at peace. At least for him, it did.

He knew he was coming to a stop on his wobbling journey as soon as he smelt croissants and pancakes. Stumbling and tipping over on his bike as he tried to get off, someone opened the door. And in through the door, he heard a laugh. The same laugh he had heard almost every day in his early 20’s. It couldn’t be, could it.

Quickly floundering to the door while trying not to trip over his own shoes, he kept thinking to himself. Or more though, all the memories washed over him. All of the ridiculous, joyful, and heartbreaking moments washed over him.

Finally getting inside, he heard it again. The same laugh. The same laugh he had heard all those years back. “Y/N?” He spoke causing a woman with rich brown hair to turn around.

“Spence,” she breathed out.

They both looked at each other until she finally broke the silence.

“Hi.”

He went over to her seat. Trying to maintain an appropriate distance you would have with a stranger. Although she wasn’t a stranger. She was his last love. And his only love.

Y/N and Spencer had dated for 4 years. It was her first day of orientation when she met Spencer though. He was assisting the class she was in, and she couldn’t help herself but to ogle at his clumsiness and awkwardness. So, she asked him out for coffee, strictly platonic though.

Of course, at first, he was quite conflicted to take up her offer, but he did anyway. Because she seemed nice, and he would never not take up an offer if it involved coffee. So they went there. And then again. And again. And again, and again, and again, and again, and again, until he couldn’t take it anymore. So, he asked her out on a proper date. And after that, they both had fallen helplessly in love with each other. Although, after year 3 of them being together, things started to fall. He had gotten accepted into the BAU under Agent Hotchners authority, so he was barely he had moved to Virginia which meant long distance. At first, they thought they could do it, and they did, but that was until she had started finally her first year as an intern.

They started seeing each other less, and less, and less. And so they called it off. And although on the call, they kept everything reserved, it was all waterworks after. Y/N didn’t talk to anyone for a week and Spencer developed a drug addiction. Although at first, he thought it was because of what had happened with Tobias Hankel, he soon concluded that it was also powered by the breakup.

Of course, though, time passed. She started to see other people, and he started getting help. She started to really plan out the future, and he started to enjoy the moment, and live now, not in the past. She started to become him. And he started to become her.

“Ugh, how are you? Long time no see.” He said awkwardly as she kept on looking down.

“Good, good. How are you?” Her sweet angelic voice, which might have been silkier than before.

“Better.”

They both stayed in awkward silence for a couple of seconds which truly felt like decades.

“Here,” she said while moving to an empty booth, “sit.” And so he did. Him playing with his feet and her looking out the window until she suddenly asked a question. “So, are you still working at the BAU?”

“Yeah… Yep, still working there.”

“That’s nice.” She mumbled.

“How’s your work?” He asked, trying to start up a conversation as he pulled up a menu.

Suddenly something changed in her tone. She became more joyful. Happier. She straightened her back and moved the hair on her shoulder back. Spencer had noticed this. This was exactly what she would do when he asked about anything relating to what she was learning in college. She truly loved what she did, and for that, he was happy. “My work is great! I just got my first solo surgy, and that was fun! I mean, of course, it’s exhausting, but I truly love it. And Macey. You remember Macey right?”

Of course, he remembered Macey. Anyone who knew Y/N in college would remember Macey. They were the best of friends, absolutely inseparable. There wouldn’t be a time of the day where they weren’t together. All, except coffee time. Because that was strictly reserved for Spencer.

“Yeah, of course, I do. Who wouldn’t?” She simply laughed.

“Yeah, well she just got engaged!”

“Macey? Macey Williams? Married! She couldn’t keep a guy for more than 2 weeks.”

“I know! But a little after we broke up, she met this guy named Brian and they were just good together.”

It got a little quiet after she had mentioned the breakup. Spencer looked back down to his menu as if it was a foreign topic and Y/N frowned while grabbing a menu for herself.

Although her initial plan was to grab a coffee and go. Just like she always does, she decided to stick around today, knowing she wouldn’t get a moment like this again.

“So, what will you two lovely people want today?” The waiter chipped while walking up to them.

“Oh, I’ll have 2 buttermilk pancakes: blueberry. Scrambled eggs, and a coffee.”

“And I’ll be having a strawberry mango crepe, 2 croissants, and one coffee.”

“Great! Will that be all?” They both looked at each other then nonned. “Amazing, we will get your orders out as soon as possible!” And with that, she skipped away.

“So, besides work, anything fun happen to you?” Y/N questioned Spencer while toying with her bandaid.

“Well, I mean not much. I have an incredible team though! They are truly some of the most important people in my life. And my mother also of course. Although she hasn’t gotten better, I still write her a letter every day. And see her at least once every other month. And I’m a Godfather now!”

She always loved how excited he had gotten whenever he was talking about the BAU or his team. For such a messed up job, he truly loved it. And that’s all that really mattered.

She laughed, in pure and absolute joy. “Wow! That’s amazing,”

He laughed too. “It is! Isn’t it! What’s going on in your life? Besides works, please.”

“Well, besides work, I’m gonna say my life is going pretty well. You know, I have some friends, and I have this little town. My boyfriend and I broke up, but honestly, I’m glad we did. He was really holding me down. And I mean, without him ever breaking up, I would have never moved into this little paradise. Plus, I mean, it’s closer than my old home. But, I too am a godmother! My sister, Eleanor, don’t think you ever met her, but she had my niece. A true angel honestly. But yeah, my life has been going. Smooth and steady.”

“Well, I’m sorry that your boyfriend broke up with you, but his lost, right?”

“Well, it wasn’t mine, that’s for sure.”

Soon enough their food came, and conversations continued. A couple more coffees were ordered and so was another crepe. Spencer and Y/N sat in that booth for what felt like hours. Just listening to each other. Whether that be laughing or reminiscing about old memories. Spencer couldn’t help but look at her hair. How he was a sucker for that hair. Always was. And her laugh. Whenever she laughed, he smiles just a little more until it turned into a full-on grin. A grin full of happiness and joy. And for her, every time he would say anything remotely smart-assy, she would start laughing. Every single time. Because, no matter how much she used to love him, he couldn’t stand the fact that he knew everything. Except, of course when she needed to study for a test.

They soon though, had to carry on with their lives. Apart from each other. In a realm where they will never see the other again.

“Can I walk you to your car? I’m gonna bike around the city, and I don’t think I would feel safe knowing you were driving with me on the same road.” He teased.

“Ha ha okay, I get it. I suck at driving. But, to your case, I have, actually, gotten really good at driving.”

“Sure, sure. Whatever will you happy.” He teased her as she looked up at him and scoffed. Pulling out her keys from her clutch. “Well, this is my stop.”

“Alright. Well, then I better get going. It was marvelous seeing you again.”

Y/N now had a choice to make. 1: Go after the man she once loved and go on a date, knowing that the chances of a happy ending are few to none. Or 2: Leave this incident be and carry on with her life.

“Wait!” She called out. He immediately stopped. So she caught up with him. “Do you wanna, um, I don’t know, possibly just, maybe, go out? Whenever you’re next free on your stay?”

Unlike making such a big of a deal out of it like he did last time she asked him out for coffee, this time he immediately said, “Yes.”

“Really? That’s great,” she spoke in disbelief that he would say yes. “Well, when are you next free?”

“I’m free for the next week and a half.”

“Great see you on Wednesday!” She said whilst getting in her cars. But before she left, she asked him, “Wait, Spence, do you need my number? It hasn’t changed from the one you had so-”

“Nope! Edition memory, remember?”

“Who could forget.” She turned on her engine, and before heading out of the little town that was oh so special to him, she yelled something which he vaguely picked up. “Call me!”

And with that, Spencer set off. Aiming for the sunset on the once in a blue sunny day. And going to them there was only one thing he could think about, her number. Because, of course, he had the eidetic memory, so he was never going to forget. But that’s not the reason he remembered her phone. I never was, never will be.

tagging: @criminalmindsmoodrn, @marshmallowtraver, @himarisolace

[carnationcreation]

Safe haven (Will Byers x reader)

Masterlist

Prompt/summary: Reader is new in town and gets trapped in the upside down with Will

Word Count: 1,988

Warnings: Kidnapping (if you can call it that), mentions of PTSD, trauma bonding, etc.

Hawkins, Indiana was definitely a… strange town. I could never really pinpoint what made me think that but somewhere in the back of my mind that is just how I would describe it. Adjusting to a new life in a town that made me vaguely uncomfortable was not how I pictured my middle school years to finish up.

The move came as a surprise. With my dad getting a job at Hawkins lab my mom and I didn’t really have a choice but to move with him. After about a week of unpacking my mom finally got a job at the local newspaper as a secretary.

My science class was definitely interesting. Mr. Clarke was an enthusiastic teacher who really only taught to the four boys sitting up front, the rest just seemed like background characters. Everyone realized that they could get away with raising their hand only once a day and sometimes even less than that. Regardless of if the answer was correct or not Mr. Clarke would take that as participation and wouldn’t really force anyone to talk after that. Being the new kid that was amazing.

When I wasn’t at school I was either one of two places. One being at the office with my mom, or two blowing my allowance money at the arcade. Tonight was arcade night. Mom stayed late to finish up some last minute papers while I spent 2 hours playing Dig Doug and stuffing my face with chilli dogs from the concession stand. I even made the top score tonight. Before I knew it the clock finally hit 8:30 signalling closing time. I grabbed my bike off the rack and began my ride home.

The ride home was dark. My bike lamp was out so I tried to use the flashlight I kept in my bag. Riding one handed was not fun. I could feel clouds forming leaving the moisture smell in the air.

I heard something behind me and soon enough Will Byers pulled up next to me, “Hey!” he shouted, “you ride through Mirkwood?”

“What?” I shouted back.

“This road is called Mirkwood by the locals, where’s your house?”

“Just beyond the ridge, my dad works at the lab” I said, his bike lamp was now illuminating the way so I put my flashlight into my front basket.

“I didn’t even know you lived that close to me,” he smiled.

“Me neither.”

Just then Will’s lamp started flickering. We both jolted on our bikes trying to adjust to the darkness. Right as we started up the hill a tall lanky figure appeared in front of us. We both swerved to the right. We sped down a hill and into a ditch. My bike crashed into a try sending my flying onto my back. For a second I laid there trying to regain the wind that was knocked out of me.

“(Y/n)! Come on we gotta get out of here!” Will said. He pulled me to my feet and we began to run through the woods. Tripping over tree limbs and stumbling over rocks.

“My house is right over here,” he yelled.

We ran inside. Turning the lock and the deadbolt before he grabbed my hand and pulled me to the back. “Johnathan? Mom?”

His dog continued to bark. Will grabbed the phone and tried to dial 911, but a loud static sound was heard even from where I stood. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed the sharpest knife out of the block. A loud bang was heard at the front door and Will dropped the phone.

“There’s a gun out back,” Will said.

We barricaded the shed door as much as we could, Will fumbled with the rifle but soon had one in the chamber and pointing at the door. I gripped the knife so tight my knuckles went white.

A strange gurgling was heard behind us.

As we turned around, there it was.

We were gone before we could react.

________________________________________________

We woke up in the woods.

Not in the same woods we ran through, but I swear it was the same one just… dark. The same feeling I got in the back of my head walking through town. Random particles flew through the air. Spores? Dust?

Will groaned from beside me.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“I think so.”

From ahead was the same gurgling we heard last night.

“What do we do?” I asked.

“Run.”

________________________________________________

We ran.

For 2 days we ran. Breaking into gas stations and the grocery store to hide and steal food when we could. Everything tasted bland or stale. We stashed water bottles in our backpacks along with chips and granola bars. Taking turns sleeping and staying on the move.

It was terrifying.

Every single noise felt like it was my last moment alive. Every movement out of the corner of my eyes made me jump. When I could sleep it felt like I hadn’t at all. We never got a good look at that, well, thing, that took us. All we knew is that it was huge and dangerous. The tentacles tried to grab us but we dodged as much as we could.

It was so cold we would sleep in the same sleeping bag we found. Any embarrassment went out the door due to me almost getting frostbite on my toes. We took shifts sleeping when we could. I think Will let me sleep longer than our agreed time but I never said anything. It made me feel selfish.

Sometimes when we thought it was safe we would talk. Anything that came to mind we would discuss, trying to make it feel like we weren’t being hunted by a creature in a strange world we didn’t know. We talked about music, books, science, video games. Anything.

“Do you think they’re looking for us?” I asked. Will shifted so he could look down at me. My head was on his shoulder and his arm was around me. The ground was hard under us but I felt the most comfortable I could be at that moment.

“Well, I think so. My mom always tells us how she loves us more than anything, and Johnathan is the only brother I have. What about you?”

“My dad isn’t around much, my mom tries her best to make my life seem normal but it doesn’t always work out. I know she’s probably tearing up the town trying to find out where I am. Oh gosh I hope she doesn’t think I ran away.”

“Our bikes were left in the woods, I think they would’ve found them by now. How long has it been?” Will said, he stretched his right arm out to place behind his head as a pillow.

“A few days at least,” I said before I yawned loudly.

Will smiled, “Get some rest, I’ll take first watch.”

I pressed my nose towards his shoulder to hide my smile. Just as I began to drift off the words popped into my head. He’s my safe haven.

We were exhausted.

I think that was part of the creature's game. It wanted us to run and wear ourselves out so it could kill us easier. I tried to fight that theory with everything I could. I stocked energy drinks when we could find them, we made coffee one night to drink the next morning, anything we could to give us enough energy to run the next day.

But it wasn't enough.

________________________________________________

It finally got us.

All that running just made us fall into its trap.

Watching Will get picked up by the tentacles and dragged away from me played over in my mind. The last thing I remembered was the thing shoving some sort of gross tube down my throat. And now it just feels like I’m lucid dreaming. I saw my house, not the one in Hawkins but the one I lived in before we moved. My family was inside. I thought I was safe yet I still felt that feeling in the back of my brain. That’s when they attacked me.

The nightmares only got worse from there.

I felt myself slowly slipping away. Like a battery in my brain was slowly being drained. I fought to keep dreaming but I was getting flooded with the exhaustion and the want to give up.

Where was Will? I just wanted to be back in the sleeping bag with him. I wanted to feel his arms around me and his slow breathing in my ear.

I felt something being ripped out of me. My lungs felt like I was underwater. I felt someone pressing on my chest and I woke up coughing. I sputtered, gasped, and cried as I was lifted into someone's arms.

“(Y/n)? This is police chief Hopper. You’re safe now.”

He looked familiar. I racked my brain trying to think of where I saw him but I only had one thought on my mind. Hopper placed an oxygen mask over my face.

“Will?” I gasped out. My chest still hurt.

“He’s right here,” a woman said, she had him cradled in his arms.

I reached out to him. I needed to make sure he was still there. That this wasn’t a nightmare.

He grabbed on to my hand.

“Please don’t let go,” I sobbed.

“I promise,” he said.

And he didn’t.

Not when we were put into the car, not when we got to the hospital, not even when we were being treated. The adults just left us alone. We were put in two beds as close together as possible. At one point a doctor came in to take my vidals and tried to pull me away from him, I don’t know exactly why but I broke down. Another doctor came in and explained something about trauma bonding and PTSD.

My parents came to see me. Dad didn’t look too happy about me holding hands with a boy, but he still didn’t say anything. Apparently he quit his job at the lab.

Weeks passed by in an instant. The nightmares never stopped but they did get better. Will showed me castle Byers and we often went there after I asked him over the radio. His friends accepted the fact that I would hang around since I never wanted to be far from the Byers boy.

At one point Mike pulled me to the side, “Thank you for keeping him alive.”

“We kept each other alive.”

I never got to meet El. Which was a shame because I’d always wanted to meet a real life Jedi. But as time went on she became an afterthought. My mind stayed focussed on school and the next time I’d get to see Will again. I slowly managed to deal with my separation anxiety (as my therapist called it) and began doing my own thing most days, but I was still over at the Byers house as often as possible.

“Do you think they’ll stop?”

“Stop what?” I asked.

“The nightmares,” Will said, “Do you think they’ll stop?”

I sat the comic book I was reading down on my lap and sighed, “Maybe one day, for now I’m just so thankful that we’re alive they don’t bother me as much.”

“Can I say something?”

I looked in confusion, “You can tell me anything Will.”

“I think-” he coughed into his hand, “I think… I’m in love with you.”

I wasn’t surprised but was still left speechless. I scooted closer to him on the bed.

And we kissed.

After that, I knew there was gonna be no one else but him. No one else who will ever know what I went through, no one else who will know how I need to be held after I had a nightmare, no one else that can calm the racing thoughts I’ve had since November 6th, and no one else I would want to face the fear of something as new as relationships.

He was my safe haven.

[onlythegentle-survive]

if i kept hiding - chapter two

Pairing: Ezra (Prospect) x F!Reader Rating: M (nothing too explicit) Warnings:  More angst and yearning, miscommunication, a brief argument, kissing (so much kissing), implicit sexual references (I told you I’d make up for all the pain in the first half of this fic!) Word count: 5.0k words Notes: The second half of this fic! Thanks so much to everyone that’s liked, reblogged, or left comments. I also want to give a huge thank you to Iris @goldafterglow​​ for giving feedback and screaming about this fic and Ezra with me while I wrote it in two and a half sittings yesterday. No one quite understands my love for this rogue space cowboy quite like Iris does. 

Taglist: @goldafterglow​ @frannyzooey​ @absurdthirst​ @catfishingmorales​ @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa​ @hopelikethesun​ @forever-rogue​ @f0rever15elf​ @thewaythisis​ @marvel-and-mischief​ @seasonschange-butpeopledont​ @lose-eels​ @ezrasarm​ @din-damn-djarin​ @opheliaelysia​ @pajamasecrets​ @mandohatesdroids​ @poenariuniverse​ @fioccodineveautunnale​​ @fleetwoodmactshirts​​ @auty-ren​​ @profkenobi​​ @storiesofthefandomlovers​​ @ithinkwehitametaphor​​ @yespolkadotkitty​​ @cinewhore​​ @wille-zarr​​ @tangledlove27​​

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To your surprise, sleep did eventually end up finding you. It was a restless, interrupted sleep, but it was sleep nevertheless.

The events of the previous night followed you around like a stray storm cloud the next day. Ezra didn’t say anything about it. You didn’t say anything about it. But it was there, screaming to be spoken about. Whenever Ezra did open his mouth to speak, it was about something inconsequential.

This is why you needed to leave. This was exactly what you feared - that your feelings would become an elephant in the room that neither of you acknowledged. You remembered vaguely that Ezra had wanted to go into the village to get more supplies in a few days time. That was a perfect opportunity for you to slip out unnoticed.

Your heart stung at the thought of Ezra’s potential reactions. Would he be upset? Relieved? Indifferent?

As you went through the motions that day, Ezra’s voice was a constant stream beside you, your mind wandered. It had been bizarre, at the beginning. Not needing to wear a helmet or space suit on this planet. You were grateful for it. It made work significantly easier. It meant that you sweat more, but you weren’t weighed down by the bulk of the suit.

Ezra hardly seemed to notice you today. Chatty as usual, he seemed distant, hardly paying attention to you as the two of you worked in tandem. You were equal parts relieved and let down that he was giving you your space today. Sure, you could have made an effort, hell, you wanted to make an effort, but there was nothing adequate that came to mind.

Finished for the day, Ezra let you take the first shower. Looking into the mirror, you looked a mess. You had purple bags under your eyes, which were puffy and red from lack of sleep. They had a glazed look to them as well, a look that you only had when you were sick or exhausted. As you stepped into the warm spray of the shower, you hoped that a shower would wash away most of it.

* * *

She looked awful. Ezra knew that something was eating at her, but he still could not put a finger on it. His best guess was that she was starting to glean on to the fact that he loved her and she didn’t reciprocate, but didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

When he had come out of the bathroom last night, he was going to tell her how he felt, too tired of keeping it bottled in. But she had already been asleep. Though it was dark, he could see that her expression, usually soft and relaxed in sleep, was sad and pained. Ezra hated to see her this anguished. He hadn’t been thinking when he reached out to touch her face outside the bathroom, it had just happened. But the way she sighed and leaned into the touch for a moment told him that on some level, she returned his feelings.

Ezra gave her some space that day; she was clearly going through something, though what, he still had yet to decipher. Even in her melancholia, she was still lovely to be around. Always making sure he had enough, or that he wasn’t working himself too hard.

As Ezra showered, he thought, why not tell her how I feel at the market? We always have such fun there.

He had to come up with a contingency plan, in case she did not reciprocate his feelings. What to do if she turned him down? She would have to stay, of course. Ezra was not so cruel to kick someone out just because they did not share his feelings. The only time he had done that was in a moment of no other choice many years ago.

Assured in his plan, Ezra smiled to himself. This would work. But he would also try and see what was troubling her today. Maybe he could help.

“Little bird,” he said in between bites of soup. She glanced up from her own bowl of soup to meet his look. “I don’t mean to pry … but are you sure everythin’ is all right? You seem to have the weight of the world on your shoulders.”

She blinked. “I’m fine, Ezra. Just didn’t sleep well last night, that’s all.”

Ezra knew he was teetering on the edge of prying, but still he pressed on. “You’re absolutely sure, birdie? There’s nothing eating away at you? If there’s anything you need me to do…”

Her face softened, and for a minute it seemed to Ezra that she was on the brink of tears. She smiled, radiant and lovely even when it was strained. “I promise, Ezra. Everything’s fine.”

A strand of her hair fell into her face. For the second time in less than twenty-four hours, Ezra reached out without thinking, to tuck it behind her ear, stroking her hair with his hand as he dropped it to her cheek. Then she did something that surprised him as much as it surprised her. She took his wrist in her hand and held his hand to her face, her thumb stroking his wrist softly. All Ezra could do was stare, dumbfounded.

Did she …?

And then, as quickly as it had started, she dropped his hand and slid her chair back, a flustered expression on her face as she finished the last spoonfuls of her soup.

Just as Ezra was finished untangling his thoughts, she stood abruptly. Giving him a wan smile, she collected their dishes and meandered to the kitchen sink to get started on clean-up.

* * *

You knew that you had overstepped when Ezra had reached out to tuck your hair behind your ear. The flummoxed expression on his face as you had held his hand in place told you all that you needed to know. You didn’t give him the opportunity to talk to you about it.

Ezra spoke quietly from behind you. “So, birdie, I was thinkin’,” he started. Your heart started a gallop, waiting for him to continue. “And I reckon we should go into town tomorrow. I noticed today that we’re at the end of our stone cleaner.”

Oh. Of course. He probably just didn’t want to embarrass you.

“Oh! Um … sure, that sounds great,” you said, attempting to keep your voice light, ignoring that you would be leaving tomorrow while he was at the market.

 Ezra fixed you with a look that, like usual, you couldn’t read. Was he always so difficult to read?

As Ezra’s soft snores filled the pod, you formulated a plan in your head on how you would leave tomorrow. You hated that it had to end like this, you really did. But you couldn’t go on like this anymore. You weren’t sure what to do when you reached civilization - ask for a ride with a travelling merchant perhaps? You’d take the spare speeder bike as far as the market, that much you knew. Beyond that, it was anyone’s guess. You just hoped that Ezra wouldn’t be too lonely without you.

That’s why you had stayed as long as you had, you supposed. The thought of Ezra being lonely was too much for you to bear. Thick tears brushed against your eyelashes. It was selfish, you supposed, leaving like this, like a thief in the night. No. It had gone on long enough. Him not wanting you. You could never blame him for it; you didn’t have it in you to blame him. It was no fault of his own that he didn’t share your feelings. You just didn’t want things to become uncomfortable with him. As you closed your eyes for sleep, you hoped that, one day, he could forgive you.

* * *

Ezra woke you early the next morning. The sun had barely made its way over the horizon when you heard his voice. “Little bird, it’s time to wake up.” You blinked blearily at him. Here’s hoping your acting abilities are up to snuff.

“Ezra … I’m so sorry. I can’t go,” you said, pressing a hand to your forehead for effect. “I’ve got a splitting migraine this morning.”

Ezra looked concerned. “Well, this simply will not do, birdie. We shall simply have to postpone our trip.”

You had counted on that. “No, Ezra. You go on ahead without me. We need those supplies.”

Ezra frowned. “Well, so long as you’re sure, little bird. I’ll be back before dark.” You nodded, slipping your eyes shut. “And when I get back … there’s somethin’ that I’ve been meanin’ to talk to you about.” You froze for half a second.

“O-okay. I’ll, uh, I’ll see you when you get back.” The lie felt heavy on your tongue, guilt coursing through your veins. When you opened your eyes to see him standing above you, the guilt increased tenfold. His kind warm brown eyes were filled with concern as he looked down at you. You noticed faintly that the sun was giving his hair a golden glow to it. He quickly leaned down and pressed his lips to your forehead before stepping back. His stubble tickled your skin.

“Back in a tick, little bird!” Ezra said over his shoulder as he stepped out the door. The clunk of the pod door behind him indicated that you were alone.

* * *

Ezra knew that something was awry with her. She had been acting fishy for a while, now. And the migraine was just too convenient. He never wanted to doubt her word, but he had his suspicions that she wasn’t being entirely truthful with him.

He’d seen the way she had tensed earlier that morning when he said he had something he wanted to discuss with her. But he had also seen the way she had welcomed his kiss with open arms, practically sinking into the bed. She was a puzzler, that was for certain.

He had reached the halfway point signpost for the market square in the village. But he never made it to the village. He’d turned around just after passing the signpost.

To hell with waiting. Kevva himself would not wait this long.

* * *

You did one more scan of the pod, making sure you had everything. Toothbrush, spare clothing and work clothes, sleep pants, your music console. You remembered when Ezra had found it in your pack the fourth day after you had joined him. Somehow he’d rigged it so it played over the speakers while he dressed your wound. That seemed like another lifetime ago, now. Even then, he had been so tender, so caring. You knew by that point that he was a space pirate, a rogue streak as prominent as the blonde swatch in his hair. But he was never a rake with you. Not once.

Focus, you told yourself. Your suit was folded up beneath your helmet, both packed snugly in the speeder bike’s basket outside. You forced yourself not to cry as you took the photo Ezra had taken of the two of you on a dig about two months ago from the cooler. You stuffed it in a spare notepad you had. You forgot why you had that notepad; you’d never used it before. Had someone given it to you?

Shaking your head, you pushed your wildly out-of-place thoughts from your mind. It was just before midday, which gave you ample time to slip out undetected from Ezra.

Should you leave a note? Your fingers hesitated as you looked down at the notepad still in your hand. What would you even say, though? Dear Ezra, sorry to split like this, but I’m in love with you and I can’t handle it? No. You couldn’t write a note. There was too much to say but no words to properly convey in a note. You could write a whole damn novel about your love for him and how it pains you to love him when he does not feel the same.

You’d never felt this way about anyone before. Sure, you’d been in love before, but never like this. This made everything before pale in comparison. As you left your spare key to the pod on the table, you paused for a moment, thinking you heard the speeder bike in the distance.

It couldn’t be, you thought as you hoisted your pack over your shoulders. It was probably the large willow tree, the branches gently swaying in the early fall breeze. It would be a long journey to the market. Ezra had taken the good speeder, but even so, he had said it would be around dark when he got back. You had just rounded the corner to the back of the pod where the speeder bikes were kept when you heard it.

Ezra’s voice. 

* * *

“Little bird?” Ezra said, “are you … going somewhere?” His voice was incredulous.

“What are you doing here? You said you would be back after dark. You weren’t supposed to -” Your voice was panicked, frantic as Ezra took you in, understanding beginning to crawl slowly across his face.

“Supposed to what, sweetheart?” he asked, taking a step towards you.

“You weren’t supposed to know that I was … Well, that I was leaving,” you said. It could have been said better, you knew that. Kevva help me, you thought as you saw Ezra’s expression change from understanding to confusion and hurt.

“Little bird, have I done something to vex you? Is this why you’ve been so off recently? If there’s somethin’ I’ve done, tell me, and I’ll do what I can to repair it.” You couldn’t bear to hear the sound of confusion in Ezra’s voice as he spoke.

“No, Ezra. Kevva, no! You didn’t do anything wrong! It’s me,” you said. Ezra’s brows raised. This is exactly what you didn’t want to have happen. You dropped your pack to the ground and walked towards the tree. You could hear Ezra right behind you, very clearly not finished with this discussion. You turned around to face him, seeing his brown eyes, usually so kind and soft, storming with confusion and a hint of anger.

“Oh, really?” he snapped. “And what, pray tell, is it that has you in a hurry? If it’s not me, as you so insist, then what is it that has you so hell-bent on leavin’? I think as your friend and partner of almost seven months, I have a right to know what’s got you runnin’ like a thief in the night. Do you dislike me that much?”

Something inside you snapped. “No, Ezra! I don’t dislike you. I don’t dislike you at all. How could I? When you -” You broke off. He gestured impatiently at you to go on. “When you are the best person I could have possibly ever met. I love you! Is that what you wanna hear, Ezra? I love you. And I know you don’t love me, back. That’s why I’m leaving. I understand, Kevva knows I do, but I can’t do this. Not to myself. Not to you. It wouldn’t be fai-”

The rest of your speech was cut off. A low growl made its way through Ezra's throat as he clutched the front of your shirt with his hands, yanking you to him, and crashed his lips to yours, swallowing your gasp of surprise with his mouth. Your hands found purchase at his hips, pulling him closer. It was not a gentle kiss. Not by a long shot. It was greedy, hungry. Filled with unspoken things. You broke the kiss for air, resting your forehead against his as he chased your lips with his, not wanting to be parted from you for even the briefest of moments.

“You,” said Ezra in between a kiss, “are like the very air I breathe, dear girl.” He kissed you again. “Do you not know that I would hang the very stars for you, little bird?” Another kiss, your strangled sound of surprise morphed into a moan as his lips roamed yours, his tongue poking at your lips, begging for entrance into your mouth. “Kevva himself.” Kiss. “Could not.” Kiss. “Fathom such beauty, such grace, such goodness. I love you, my dear girl.”

He pulled back for a moment, a familiar look on his face. The look that had haunted you for months. Suddenly everything clicked into place as he pulled his kiss-swollen lips back from your own puffy, swollen lips. The look he was always giving you. It wasn’t one of confusion. It was one of awe. Adoration. Love.

“I love you, Ezra.” You cupped his face with your hands, a laugh escaping your lips as you pressed them against his again. He was gentler this time, though no less passionate. You wrapped your arms around his body, needing him close to you. His lips broke from yours, roaming your cheek and jaw. You bent your head upwards, allowing him access to your neck. His scruff tickled in the best way as he moved his lips across your skin.

One of Ezra’s hands moved to your leg, pulling it around his hip. A look crossed his eye. “Do you -? Can we-?” you asked in between frantic kisses anywhere your lips could land.

“Yes, my dear thing. Yes. I mean to have you.”

With great ease and care, Ezra lowered the two of you to the ground, caging your body with his. Nothing else seemed to matter. The fact that you had attempted to leave not ten minutes ago was a thing of the ancient past. That you had thought, foolishly, that Ezra had not reciprocated your feelings - when that couldn’t be further from the truth - was a thing of distant memory. None of that mattered anymore, you thought absently, your lips never far away from Ezra’s skin, nor his from yours. The only thing that mattered right here, right now, was you and him. Together. There, in the white sunshine, beneath the tree, the two of you loved each other to the point of exhaustion.

* * *

“Ezra,” you whispered, hours later. You were covered by his long jacket, resting your head on his chest, his arm wrapped around you. The rest of your clothes lay haphazardly across the ground. Ezra’s eyes were shut, but you knew he was still awake. You pressed a kiss to his shoulder. He looked peaceful. Tranquil.

“Mmm,” he mumbled, wrapping his other arm around you, pulling you on top of him again, his hands landing at your back. He kissed you soundly. “Hi, sweet thing,” he mumbled against your lips. You pecked his lips quickly once. Twice. Just to do so. He smiled languidly against your lips.  

“Hi yourself,” you replied, nestling your face in the crook of his neck, where you had left a mark earlier. “We should probably go inside. It’s getting cold.”

Ezra pressed his lips to your temple, his words sending a different chill down your spine. “Don’t worry, little bird. I’ll warm you up.”

You stifled a grin, gasping as he scooped you up in his arms. “Ezra, I can walk just fine,” you protested as he carried you to the pod.

Ezra shot you a look. “Then I didn’t do my job correctly. Come on, sweet thing. We still have lost time to make up for.”

* * *

Your eyes fluttered open slowly. You were thoroughly spent. The narrow space beside you in the cot was empty, but the sheets were still warm. Ezra hadn’t been gone long. “Ezra,” you said. Scraping and grunting was the response you got. You rolled over to your other side to see Ezra pushing his own cot towards the one you were in. “What are you doing?” you asked as he gave the cot another shove.

“I’m movin’ this over there,” Ezra replied, giving the cot another shove. “Little bird, I would share your bed anywhere, anytime. But it needs to be big enough for us both.” With one final shove, the two cots were connected. You reached a hand up lazily to stroke his cheek.

“Come back to bed, Ezra. It’s late,” you said. Sitting up, you helped him with the blankets and sheets, making it more comfortable for the two of you.

Ezra slipped beneath the sheets once again, pulling you close to him. “That’s better, birdie,” he said. You hummed in agreement. The two of you fit together like puzzle pieces. If only you had told him of your feelings sooner. At this thought, unexpected tears started to spring in your eyes.

At your sniffle, Ezra pulled your head back from his chest, holding it in his hands, forcing you to look at him. “My sweet darling. What troubles you?” he asked, brushing a tear away with his thumb.

“I just…” you start, trying to find your words. “We could have had this a lot sooner, Ezra. If only I had … If only… I’m sorry,” you said.

“Hey. None of that, now. You hear? We were both a couple of lovesick fools who couldn’t see the forest for the trees. Do you hold it against me?” Ezra asked softly. You shook your head. How could you hold it against him? Ezra pressed his lips against your forehead before continuing. “And I could never hold it against you, my darling girl. Never. Do you hear me? I love you. I have loved you since the moment I first laid eyes upon you properly.” He kissed you once, twice.

“I love you,” you whispered back to him, settling against him. Sleep began to tug you closer as Ezra stroked your back soothingly. You slept, like that.

* * *

The next morning, you woke before Ezra. Sunlight streamed in through the open blinds. In your haste the evening before, you had forgotten to close the blinds. You had shifted sometime in the night, your face buried into his chest when you woke, lying on your side. You smiled sleepily as you gazed up at him. So calm in sleep. The weight of the world lifted from his shoulders in sleep. You leaned up and pressed your lips to the scruff of his beard. “Ezra,” you whispered, pressing a kiss just beneath his ear. He moaned, stirring from sleep, his hold on you tightening slightly. You pressed another kiss to his jaw. Ezra inhaled slightly.

“Are you trying to send me to Kevva early, darling girl?” Ezra asked, his voice rough from sleep.

You smiled against his neck, easing up on your kisses to say, “no.” The smile was evident in your voice as you returned your lips to his jaw. Finally, your lips slotted against his for a long moment.

“Good morning,” Ezra said, his mouth inches away from yours. You met them softly with your own, your hand winding into his hair gently.

“Hi,” you said breathlessly. He pulled you close. “What’s going on, Ezra?” you asked, carding your fingers in his hair.

“I just want to hold you for a while, little bird. Just like this,” he whispered against your cheek. His voice was thick with emotion. You held him tighter, your face returning to the crook of his neck as he held you. The two of you sat there like that for a long while. “I love you,” he said hoarsely.

You kissed his cheek. “I love you, Ezra.” You didn’t think you would ever get tired of saying that. Before he could say anything more, your stomach grumbled loudly. It had been quite some time since you had last eaten anything. Ezra had fixed you a plate of food to share last night, but that had been many, many hours ago.  

You smiled an embarrassed smile. Ezra quirked a brow at you. “Have our activites worked up your appetite, little bird?” he asked. You sighed against his face. While you were happy to stay like this with him, you knew that you needed to get up.

* * *

Wrapped in a sheet, you watched from the table as Ezra cooked the two of you a simple breakfast, wearing nothing but his sleep pants. He had refused your offer to help outright, urging you to sit while he cooked. It was nice. Domestic. Something that you could easily get used to, you thought. His fingers twined through yours as you ate your breakfast.

Suddenly you remembered something. “Our clothes,” you said. “They’re still outside.” You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Too right you are, little bird. It seems that in our eagerness, we forgot,” said Ezra, an easy grin forming on his own face. You stroked his thumb with your own.

It was easy, sitting there with him like that. Now that the haze of confusion had been lifted, you felt completely at ease with both him and yourself.

The sheet you were wrapped in slipped slightly as Ezra stood to clear the dishes. “You have stains all down your back, dear thing,” he pointed out, laughter tinging his voice, remembering the events of yesterday. What had caused you to get those stains, or rather who.

“Yes, I figured as much. Someone had their way with me beneath the tree yesterday,” you said drily, a smirk crossing your face as Ezra choked slightly on his coffee at your words. You turned to face him. “I figure a shower would do us both some good,” you continued. You offered for him to go shower first while you tidied up the kitchen. You knew that if you offered to go together, it would turn into something else entirely before too long.

“Don’t take too long in there, sweet thing. I’m not finished with you yet,” Ezra said as he emerged from the bathroom in almost record speed.

* * *

Much, much later, the two of you lay entwined together in your merged beds. You rested on his chest, Ezra’s arm draped across your back. His hand stroked soothing patterns against the skin of your back, almost lulling you back to sleep.

“Little bird?” he said suddenly, his chest rumbling against your ear.

“Yes?” you said dreamily.

“Don’t go anywhere. Not without me. I don’t think my old heart could take it,” Ezra said quietly, self-consciously. He almost sounded afraid of what your answer would be. You propped yourself up on your elbow so that you could look him directly in his eyes.

“Ezra, I’m not going anywhere. Not without you. You’re stuck with me, I’m afraid.” You pressed your lips to his to further confirm this. “I love you,” you said as you settled back down against him, letting him cage your body against his.

It had been an … interesting few days to say the least. You realized now that you should have just spoken your feelings to Ezra sooner. But you couldn’t change that, not now. Not that it mattered. You didn’t care that it had taken the two of you this long to get here. What mattered was that you were here, now, with him. Everything else was just detail.

As Ezra shifted slightly, on the precipice of sleep, you snuggled against him. You let him rest. When he woke, you would continue on your day, doing nothing in particular with him. For right now, you were happy to rest with him. If you were lucky, you would doze off as well. Ezra muttered your name in his sleep as you brushed his blonde streak out of his eyes gently. He needed a haircut soon, you thought. You pushed the tasks you knew the two of you needed to complete out of your mind. They would keep.

[evermorehaikyuu]

Oh, now that summer is around the corner (ignoring the corona crisis) could I have headcanons with the karasuno boys at the beach with their s/o?? Maybe add my three fav characters too? Oikawa, kuroo and Akaashi (if possible, you don’t have to do so much) thanks honey! 💕

Hello again! This coronavirus is giving me a massive headache because of all the work I’m supposed to do finished it yesterday can I hear a wahoo? Since I have a lot of free time because of the virus, I changed my rules a bit so I’ll do Karasuno first then your three favorites, if that’s good with you!

Hope everyone is feeling okay!

Hinata Shoyo

Well, going to the beach with the sun himself…

He’s very excitable and we all know this. So when he suggested to do the games on the boardwalk, you were fine with it and even won a few games

He won you a prize and then everything became chaos when you found the volleyball court

His face lights up and he practically teleports over to an empty court. “Y/N, PLEASE SET FOR ME!”

Yeah, you were both covered with sand by the end

“We never got to go to the ocean, Y/N!”

“Maybe next time, Shoyo.” You were terrified he would get lost somehow

Tobio Kageyama

Blueberry doesn’t know what’s going on

Why go to the beach when there was practice?

Sugawara shoved him out of the gym so that he could go with you

You knew he wanted to play volleyball so you two went to the courts and his expression was priceless

“Y/N, one on one.”

And so all day you two were playing volleyball and when you went home, both of you were sunburned

“That’s…ooh…” Sugawara winces at how pink you are.

“YOU GUYS LOOK LIKE SALMON, AAAAHHH!!!” Hinata is screeching and Kageyama chases him, screaming, “BOKE, HINATA, BOKE!”

Yamaguchi Tadashi

Of course, you two went when it was warmer

You first walked around, doing nothing and just enjoying each other’s company

Then came the beach

You ran to it, screeching and then started playing in it and Yamaguchi joined you and started splashing you

“TADASHI, GET BACK HERE!”

He ran away, giggling

After the ordeal was over and you went home, both of you decided to go to the beach the next day

Tsukishima Kei

Salty boy, saltier than the ocean

When you suggested to go to the beach, he immediately said, “No.”

“Why?!”

“Because.”

It took a long time but he caved in. And guess who you see there?

Tanaka, Saeko, and Akiteru.

“TSUKISHIMA, Y/N!!” Tanaka is screaming. “NOW WE CAN PLAY TWO ON TWO, SAEKO, GET OUT!”

Tsukishima is reconsidering his life choices but you pull him onto the court

Needless to say, you two won and he was so smug

“Kei, I didn’t know your girlfriend was so good at volleyball.”

“She’s good at many things, Akiteru.”

Tanaka Ryuunosuke

If you’re with him and going to the beach, you better believe Noya is going with you two

You don’t mind because it’s Nishinoya, Tanaka’s best friend

But once you’re there, it’s like taking care of five year olds

“Y/N, can we get cotton candy? Please, please, please?”

“Fine.”

You three are on the boardwalk when they find the line for the rollercoaster. And damn, that thing was wild.

Going home with Tanaka’s sister was a lot. If you got sick after the rollercoaster, you were screwed when you got home.

Ennoshita Chikara

He wanted to calm down after playing so much volleyball and not being with you

It was hot so his first thought was to go to the beach

“Come on, we’ll see what we can do there.”

You caved in and when you found all of the equipment, all you focused on were the two metal rings hanging from chains. (I don’t know what they’re called, please bear with me.)

“Ooh, Chikara, I want to do those!”

And so you spent all day trying everything out, even climbing the rope, which you beat him at

“Thank you, Chikara, that was a lot of fun.”

Nishinoya Yuu

He’s such a bouncy boy, I love him

He drags you to the ocean and says, “Come on, Y/N!”

“Yuu, it’s a freaking wave, it’s a wave, HOLY SHI–oh.”

The waves shrank to reach your waist and he laughed. You shoved him in and when he rose up, he had his hair down.

“YOU LOOK SO CUTE WITH YOUR HAIR DOWN!!”

“Y/N!” Nishinoya is turning red and he shoves you into the water. You rise up and the whole day you’re just playing in the water.

You crash in his house because you’re both exhausted.

Asahi Azumane

You two are going to the beach just to have a picnic because why not, it’s summer

It’s more relaxing than anything because you’re not doing much

You’re talking about everything, the games, the new musical you just listened to, the new show you’ve both been watching together

“It’s so hard to get into a new musical but this one is so good.”

“What’s it called?”

“Heathers.”

Yeah, flash forward to you singing Meant To Be Yours and freaking him out–ANYWAYS

You braid his hair and that’s his new favorite thing

Looking at the sunset and just feeling happy

Sawamura Daichi

He’s definitely the one who can surf, no one tell me otherwise

He tried to teach you but you keep falling

“You have to relax! Come on, next wave!”

“DAICHIIIII!!!”

A long time later, you’re all drenched and he is just fine.

You’re pouting and he’s laughing so hard his stomach hurts. “Fine, fine, because I love you.”

You’re both on the boardwalk and eating cotton candy. “I bet I can win that game.”

“Y/N, these games are rigged, you know that.”

“WATCH ME.”

You won him a stuffed animal and that made him laugh, knowing how stubborn you were

He did take you out to your favorite place to eat as a “compensation”.

Sugawara Koushi

He takes you to get on the bikes, even if you don’t want to

“Koushi, you told me we’d go watch the Shining!”

“Yeah and it’s not until 7, come on, it’ll be fun!”

“I’m no athlete and you know this.”

You spend a good hour or two riding along the sidewalk until you get exhausted and ask for a break

You get food and say, “Please never do that again.”

He smiles widely, you almost forgive him

Watching the Shining with him was so much better (better than staying out in the sun, I’m so lazy) 

Oof I’m so sorry that it took me so long and some, if not all, are short!

[drabbles-mc]

Protective

EZ Reyes x Reader

Request by the wonderful @ly--canthrope : The reader: “Do you have any idea how wrong that could have gone?! What were you thinking?!” Ez: “I was thinking that keeping you safe was worth the risk, and I stand by that choice even now.”

Warnings: language, mentions of injuries and hospitals

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: I hope I did this request justice! It was definitely fun to write, and I peppered in some light-hearted stuff in there because I can’t make anything too sad or angsty for our boy

EZ Taglist: @noz4a2 @queenbeered @sincerelyasomebody @sadeyesgf @thesandbeneathmytoes @appropriate-writers-name @tomhardydallasstarsgirl @multiyfandomgirl40 @sillygoose6969 @louisianalady​ @gemini0410​ @paintballkid711​ (let me know if you wanna be on the list!)

The run had almost been going too smoothly. You knew that it had to be one with minimal risk if you were allowed to tag along, but still. It was supposed to be a quick overnight—just there and back. The run wasn’t even for a transport, it was just because they had to meet up with the Oakland charter. If EZ had been carrying anything illegal he would’ve made sure you stayed home. But, after enough begging and pleading from you, and an extra bit of reassurance from Bishop that there was nothing dangerous about this trip, he had caved and let you come with them. It was an extremely rare treat, and he would’ve been lying if he tried to say that he didn’t love how excited you were about it.

Oakland had offered up accommodations for all of the Santo Padre members that had ridden up, but you had convinced EZ to make it a fun little night away for the both of you. You’d booked a hotel room for the two of you and while EZ had initially thought it was excessive, he had to admit it was nice to be in a space for just the two of you. It had been a very late, and very fun night for both of you. As you were getting ready the next morning you were trying to figure out if there was a way to wear your hair that would cover the hickeys that he had given you.

“If they gotta see mine,” he chuckled as he walked up behind you and gently kissed your neck, “They gotta see yours too.”

You smirked as you looked at him through the mirror, seeing the marks littering his chest and neck. “That sounds like the fair way to handle it, but,” you laughed, “I still don’t like it.”

The two of you went and met up with the rest of the club. You heard a few of the guys, mostly Angel, cracking jokes at EZ’s expense when they saw the love bites that were all over his neck. They were kind enough to spare you the same social torture for now, but that might change before the day was out. It was a long ride back and you were sure that before it was over they would be getting on your case about it too.

You were a few hours into the ride when you saw Bishop wave to signal that he was going to be pulling off the road into the gas station that was coming up. As much as you wanted to be home, the thought of being able to stretch your legs a little bit after being on the bike for a few hours was tempting.

EZ parked his bike alongside everyone else’s, hanging both of your helmets off of the handlebars before heading inside to grab a drink. You stayed outside, stretching out your arms and legs by pacing by the bikes. Bishop took the time to make small talk with you while he smoked a cigarette. He was kind enough to not verbally address the hickeys on your neck, but every now and then you’d catch him glancing at them and a smirk would pass over his face for all of a moment. You felt your cheeks getting hot but you focused on the conversation at hand.

A few minutes later EZ came out of the gas station, a water bottle hanging loosely from his fingertips. He offered it to you and you took it gladly, not realizing until that moment how dry your throat felt. The two of you stood with Bishop and talked and it was one of the few times that it had ever been just the three of you. Bishop had always been more than kind and polite to you, but there was still that minor intimidation factor of knowing that he was the head of the MC. He never tried to be imposing, especially not towards you, but you still felt incredibly small in his presence sometimes. It was nice to have these small moments of feeling a little more equal.

It didn’t take long for the whole crew to be standing together, drinking their coffees and waters while burning through a quick cigarette before getting back onto the road. You knew that most of their runs weren’t so relaxed, but it made you happy to know that sometimes the guys really did just get to hang out with each other. Seeing them banter back and forth brought a smile to your face as you lightly traced your fingers up and down EZ’s arm.

The conversations were all cut short by the sound of another club pulling into the gas station. All of the men paused and turned their attention to the group that was crossing the lot towards them. You felt EZ’s body tense up and you were trying to figure out exactly what was about to happen.

“Fuck me,” Bishop said as he reached into his kutte for his gun.

Your eyes grew wide as the remainder of the men all either reached into their kuttes or went to their bikes to grab their guns. You had never felt more exposed and unprepared. Your nails sank into EZ’s arm for a moment.

“Who are they?”

He shook his head, pushing you behind him so that he was blocking you, “Vatos Malditos. We’ve had an ongoing…feud with them for a while.”

“That’s a nice way to put it,” Angel muttered, shaking his head as he watched the men approach their group.

EZ didn’t turn to look at you but he gently nudged you back, “You should head inside, Y/N. You don’t need to be out here for whatever this is going to turn into.”

You felt like your feet were frozen to the ground. EZ nudged you again and you stumbled a couple steps away. You didn’t feel right leaving, but you also knew that you had nothing to offer whatever this was going to turn into. You tried to keep moving, but it felt like your feet were cemented to the blacktop beneath your shoes.

Bishop stepped forward to address them, wanting this to happen as peacefully as possible, “Whatever this is, we shouldn’t do it here.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” their president spoke up, “You’re the ones holding guns.”

“Like you don’t fuckin’ have ‘em too,” Angel spat.

“We told you,” he purposely ignored Angel’s comment, “that we would settle our score somehow, some way. You chose a bad place to make a pitstop.”

You could hear the blood rushing in your ears and it tuned out everything else that was said. Everything was happening so fast. You didn’t hear what was said between the clubs, but it must’ve been the wrong thing because the only thing that reached over the roaring in your eardrums was the sound of gunshots. You wanted to run but you physically couldn’t make yourself, fight or flight be damned. The next thing that registered with you was being tackled to the ground, head smacking against the pavement. It was all fuzzy and loud, and you couldn’t see straight. You felt the weight of someone lying on top of you, and you knew that they were trying to talk to you but you couldn’t hear what they were saying.

You woke up to the fluorescent lights of a hospital room. You groaned, a throbbing sensation in your head. Your whole body felt sore and stiff. You tried to get your eyes to focus as you looked around, seeing that your left wrist was wrapped up in a brace. You rested your head back against the pillow and shut your eyes again, knowing that trying to process it all at once was going to give you more problems than you clearly already had.

The next thing you heard was the sound of the door opening and you forced one eye open. EZ and Angel both strode into the room and you opened your eyes completely, sitting up as fast as you could manage without making your head feel like it was going to explode.

EZ’s eyes grew wide and he flew to your bedside when he saw that you were awake. He took your good hand in his and kissed it, “You’re awake.”

“Your shoulder,” you took in the fact that he was bandaged up and in a sling.

He shook his head, “It’s nothing. I’m fine. How are you?”

“I guess you guys should be telling me,” more than anything you just felt exhausted, “What the fuck happened?”

Angel interjected, “Boy Scout gave you a concussion and fractured your wrist.”

EZ huffed, shooting his brother a glare, “In my defense, it was a favorable outcome compared to getting shot.”

“Is that…is that what happened to your shoulder?” tears stung at your eyes.

“I’m fine,” he shook his head to dismiss the question, “Everyone is fine. You’re the only one who had to get committed and you didn’t even get shot,” there was a small smile on his face.

You reached over with your good arm and shoved the side of his body that wasn’t bandaged, “It’s not fucking funny, Ezekiel!”

Angel knew that he should step out to give you two some privacy for this conversation, but he was too nosey to do so. He leaned back against the door and tried to make himself as small as possible as he kept himself tuned in.

“I know, I know,” he clasped his hand over yours before you could try to push him again, “I’m not saying that it is. I just, I don’t want you to get all worked up about it. It’s over with. No one in our club got seriously injured.”

“And the other guys?”

“Don’t worry about them,” Angel spoke up, shaking his head.

You looked at Angel for a moment before returning your attention to EZ, “Do you have any idea how wrong that could’ve gone? What were you thinking? You could’ve gotten killed! A few inches in a different direction and you wouldn’t be sitting here with me right now!” tears were spilling onto your cheeks.

“I was thinking,” he reached forward and thumbed the tears off of your cheeks, “that keeping you safe was worth the risk. And I stand by that choice even now.”

You huffed, wanting to be mad but you were too busy being grateful that he was okay, “I’m not done being mad, you know,” you rested your head back on the pillow, “When I have more energy you are in for it, Ezekiel.”

He smiled, placing a soft kiss on your knuckles, “Can’t wait, Querida.”

There were a few moments of silence before Angel’s voice traveled to you from across the room. “Can I tell you something that’ll cheer you up, Y/N?” there was a mischievous smirk on Angel’s face.

“Please,” you were intrigued, “please do.”

“So the nurse that was patching up EZ,” he was chuckling before he even got a full sentence into the story, “was tryna be all cute and slick with him, thinking she was gonna fix him up and get a little action after the fact. But then she took his shirt off and saw all the hickeys you left,” he was laughing, “and the disappointment on her face was priceless.”

You smiled, letting out a laugh despite all of the crazy circumstances that you all were wrapped up in, “Good. I’ll fight someone with one good hand, you know.”

EZ smiled, rolling his eyes. He looked back at Angel, “Why you getting her ready to fight when she’s lying in a hospital bed?”

He laughed, “What? She’d only have to get ready to fight if the girl didn’t back off.”

EZ shook his head, “Can you go make yourself useful and let the guys know that she’s alright?”

Angel didn’t say anything, just laughed and nodded as he let himself out of the room so the two of you could have a few minutes to yourselves. EZ turned back to you and when the smile faded from his face you could see all of the worry that he had been carrying around with him since everything happened at the gas station. He carefully climbed up into the bed with you and let you cuddle against his good side. You lightly traced your fingers over the fabric of his t-shirt, trying to revel in the fact that you both were lucky enough to be able to be doing this.

“I’m sorry you got caught up in all of it, Y/N,” his voice was soft, “This never should’ve happened. That’s on me.”

You shook your head, “It’s not on you. I knew what I was getting into. I’m just glad that you’re safe,” you felt your bottom lip start to tremble, “I can’t lose you, EZ.”

He gently kissed the top of your head, “I’m not going anywhere, don’t worry. No matter what I’ll always make sure that I make it back home to you.”

“You better,” you leaned against him and closed your eyes, “And if I hear about any other women hitting on you, in a hospital or not, I will make sure you never leave the house without hickeys ever again.”

He chuckled, resting back against the pillow and closing his eyes as well, “I will keep that in mind.”

[theladyofdeath]

Alone in the Ashes {15}

A Court of Thorns and Roses fanfction, characters belong to Sarah J Maas. Modern au. Revolves around Nesta x Cassian, Feyre x Rhysand, and Elain x Azriel. Other characters appear throughout. Based on multiple prompts sent in by anons tbr below.

Warning: Mature content. Alcohol abuse, verbal abuse, drugs, sex, language, eating disorders.

For summary & chapter index, click >  Alone in the Ashes {Acotar}

Word Count: 3.4k

A/N: Sorry it took a few extra hours - the chapter was too short so I had to decide what I wanted to add in from chapter 16! Enjoy~

Comment to tell me what you think, or to be tagged! x

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” - Stephen Chbosky, the Perks of Being a Wallflower

Cassian couldn't think straight.

That anger, that motherfucking anger, was creeping up on him.

Tomas.

The bastard that sure as hell wasn't good enough for Nesta, was staring at her like she was a piece of meat, a prize to be won. Cassian wanted to hit that look right off his face.

“Aren’t you the guy that moved in across the hall from her?”

He was drinking a beer and had been ignoring Cassian until now.

Cassian gave him a short nod.

“What, you two friends now?” Tomas asked, looking back at Nesta. “I thought you hated him. Said he was annoying as fuck.”

Nesta ignored his question, his comment. She asked, quietly, “Where the hell have you been?”

Cassian stilled. The fact that she still cared made him nauseous. Maybe he was in the wrong, but he thought Nesta had forgotten about Tomas long ago. Thought he had helped her forget about Tomas a long time ago.

“Adriata,” he said, shrugging. “Went along the Coast. Surfed.”

“You just fucking left,” Nesta gritted out. “Without saying anything because I hurt your fucking pride.”

Cassian had taken her home that night, when Tomas had abandoned her at the nightclub. 

“Needed some time away,” he said, simply, and smiled.

Nesta wouldn't look at Cassian.

He had yet to touch his whiskey.

“Did you miss me?” Tomas asked.

Nesta looked at Cassian, then she turned her back to them both.

He couldn’t tell what was going through her mind, didn't want to know what was going through her mind. If he knew, his anger would only grow.

He kept watching Tomas.

“What time do you get off?” Tomas asked, continuing his interrogation. 

“Late,” Nesta answered.

“I’ll wait,” he said, grinning.

Nesta looked over her shoulder at him, then at Cassian. Her eyes were hard, unreadable. She didn’t tell him to fuck off, didn’t tell him to go to hell. Instead, she said, “I’m on break. Be back in five.”

She left, leaving Cassian to stare, dumbfounded, after her. Before Tomas could say anything more, Cassian tossed some cash next to his untouched drink and made his way into the alley, where Nesta was standing, leaning against the wall, lighting a cigarette. 

Unsurprised by him storming in, Nesta didn’t bother to look up at him as he stopped in front of her. 

“What the fuck?” he asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, voice monotone. 

Cassian shook his head. Maybe he’d gotten everything all wrong, read the signs all wrong. All the time they had spent together the last few weeks - maybe it was just for sex, something to fill the void for her after Tomas left.

Maybe now that he was back, she had no need for Cassian anymore.

He raked a hand through his hair, calming himself. “Are you coming over when you get off?”

Nesta looked tired. “I don’t know.”

“Because Tomas will be waiting for you?” he asked, before he could think twice about it.

Her eyes narrowed. “Fuck off, Cass.”

He shook his head, laughing, humorlessly. “What am I to you?”

She didn’t answer. 

“I asked you a question,” he said, voice low. 

Nesta blew smoke into his face. “I don’t owe you an answer, so fuck off.” 

Cassian took a step back, feeling as if he’d just been slapped. “Alright. Fine.”

He started walking away, back toward the sidewalk, where he stopped. “I’ll leave my door open, when you get off. If you don’t show up, I’ll take the hint.”

Nesta said nothing.

Cassian walked away. 

He found his bike, the one he’d finished that morning, near the other side of the building before strapping on his helmet and speeding away. 

That anger, that fucking anger, crept into his mind, into his soul, and he couldn’t control it. They were doing so well, getting along so perfectly, until that fucker waltzed in, pretending like nothing ever happened. Cassian remembered the first day he’d met Nesta, when Tomas was there, and she was a fucking mess. High on Mother-knows-what, hungover, depressed. Now he was back, and Nesta shut down, pretended like Cassian no longer existed. And he had thought that things had changed, that she and him were starting to…

Unimportant.

It was unimportant, didn’t matter anymore.

Maybe she was just surprised, thrown off by Tomas’s unexpected presence.

Cassian tried to push the anger away.

He would go home and do what he said he would - leave the door unlocked, wait like a pathetic jackass who felt too strongly for a woman like Nesta Archeron. 

So that’s what he did.

And just after midnight, he heard low voices outside of his apartment. Drunk on whiskey, he opened his door, and found Tomas stumbling into Nesta’s apartment.

He met Nesta’s gaze, but it was like looking into a never ending abyss. Empty. Dead. An endless void.

She watched him, though. Watched his eyes go wide, then harden. Watched his jaw lock as he shook his head. “Hint taken,” he slurred. “Fuck you, N-Nesta.” 

She didn’t flinch, didn’t hesitate, didn’t act like the words affected her at all. But she watched him, those empty, stormy blue eyes - watched as he took a step back and slammed his door shut.

That anger returned, rising at an uncontrollable speed. 

He threw his glass, still holding a thin layer of whiskey, against the wall in his living room, where it exploded into shards of glass, dark, caramel colored liquid raining down the ivory wall. 

“Fuck!” he yelled, and Bryaxis was instantly up from his bed, following his master down the hall.

Cassian stomped into his bedroom and tossed himself onto his mattress where Bryaxis instantly was, knowing his father was having an episode, knowing he couldn’t control the anger, that hated anger. 

The pup pulled himself over Cassian’s abdomen, laying his chin on Cassian’s chest, paws outstretched. Cassian closed his eyes, told himself to breathe. 

That anger lingered, even as he calmed, but Cassian told himself that it was all his fault.

He had started to fall in love with her.

And no good ever came from falling for a woman like Nesta Archeron.

~~~~~

Rhysand awoke to his bed creaking, just after midnight.

Feyre had hurried out of the room, down the hall. He heard the bathroom door shut.

He picked up his phone off the nightstand and opened his messages, where he had missed five texts after falling asleep early. 

Three were from Cassian.

Feyre’s sister is a bitch.

Whiskey is good. I like whiskey.

Where the fuck are you and Az you little lovesick fuckers.

Rhys made a mental, uncertain note to give Cassian a call in the morning.

The next text was from Azriel. It was a picture of Mila, who was wearing the new pink Batman pajamas Rhysand had ordered her online. Beneath the picture read, Mila has been jumping across all the furniture all night, pretending to be Batgirl. At one point, she body slammed me. It was all fun and games until I got kneed in the balls.

Rhysand huffed a laugh, pulling up the last text that was from an unsaved number. Your ring is in. You can pick it up at your earliest convenience. 

He quickly deleted the message as Feyre swept back into the room, bare body outlined in the dark, starlit room.

“Sorry,” she whispered, “I didn’t mean to wake you.” 

“It’s okay,” he said, watching her climb across the bed to him. “Cassian was having a drunken, mental breakdown, it seems.” 

He put his phone back on the nightstand as she asked, “Because of Nesta?” 

“Seems so,” Rhysand muttered, as Feyre fell back against the pillows. He climbed over her body, and her arms wrapped around his waist. “Who knows.”

Feyre rolled her eyes. “I won’t be getting in the middle of that mess.”

Rhysand chuckled, kissing her, softly. “Go back to sleep.” 

“Yeah,” she whispered, hands wandering down to his ass. “Sleep.” 

“You’re going to be tired for work in the morning,” he murmured. 

Feyre huffed a laugh, pushing his wild hair off of his forehead. “I’m okay with that.”

With a grin, Rhysand pressed his mouth to Feyre’s, his tongue sliding between her lips to brush alongside her own. 

One last night of peace, one last night before Rhysand woke up the next morning, kissed Feyre goodbye, and got ready for himself to leave the house. Because after Feyre left in the morning, he would be going to see Tamlin. 

And, it seems, he had a ring to pick up.

~~~~~

“It’s getting late,” Elain whispered, glancing at the clock. 

“Yeah,” Azriel agreed, quietly.

They had been lying awake for hours, talking about everything and nothing and all things in between. Now, he could see the exhaustion sweeping over her.

“Get some sleep,” he said, smiling.

But Elain didn’t smile back. Her palm rested against his cheek, her thumb brushing over his open lips. Azriel’s own smile faded at her touch. 

“Kiss me,” she whispered. 

Azriel didn’t have to be told twice. He leaned in closer, pulled her to him by her waist, and pressed his lips against hers. Elain fell back against his bed, and he hovered over her, careful not to put too much of his weight on her.

Her delicate hands swept down his back, under the hem of his shirt. Her hands were warm against his skin as they crept up. Chills swept down his spine. 

Elain tugged at the fabric, and Azriel leaned back, pulled his shirt over his head, and tossed it onto the floor.

Elain pushed against his chest, a silent plea for him to lay down, and when he did, she straddled his waist. Those delicate fingers trailed over his chest, his abdomen. Her brown eyes were bright as slipped off her sweatshirt, and her tanktop. 

“Elain,” Azriel hesitated, his entire body reacting beneath her. “We don’t have to-”

“I want to,” she said, laughing quietly. She took his hands and put them against her body. Azriel’s hands swept up her stomach, to her breasts. His fingers brushed over the outline of her bra, careful not to catch the lace on his rough, calloused fingertips. She leaned down into him, lips crashing into lips.

Azriel had been so patient. Had taken things slow.

It was easy to take things slow with Elain. She was easy to talk to, easy to be gentle with. But in that moment, Azriel was done being gentle. His body ached for anything but gentleness. 

He unhooked her bra, and she let him slide it down her arms and palm her breasts. Azriel flipped her onto her back, smile bright as she looked up at him. Azriel pressed his lips, softly, against her abdomen, and she held onto the back of his head as those feather-like kisses trailed up, tongue sweeping over her nipples, lips finding the base of her neck. 

Elain’s eyes fluttered shut as she breathed, heavily, as she inched down Azriel’s shorts with her fingertips.

A soft growl escaped him as his lips found hers, once again. 

“Elain.” He whispered her name between the whirlwind of kisses, but was unable to say anything more, because a loud knock came to his bedroom door. 

“Uncle Az!” Mila’s little voice came through the door.

Azriel froze, then sighed, his head falling against her chest, between her breasts. Elain, unable to help herself, laughed quietly.

“It’s okay,” she whispered.

With a groan, Azriel pulled himself off of her and hopped off the bed, pulling his shorts back up to his hips. “I’ll be right back.”

She nodded, smiling fondly as she pulled his blanket up over her body. 

Azriel stopped at the door, trying to collect himself as Mila knocked, again. 

“Okay,” he breathed, and opened his bedroom door to find a teary-eyed four year old, clutching her blanket. 

He frowned, shutting his door quietly behind him. “What’s wrong?”

She reached her arms up, and Azriel gathered her into his arms as he carried her back into her room. 

She laid her messy-haired head against his shoulder. 

“Bad dream,” she said, yawning, as Azriel sat on the edge of her bed with her on his lap. “Those men took mama away and she was crying.”

Azriel blew out a long, slow breath. It was impossible, trying to find a way to tell Mila what was happening without telling her that her mom was a horrible woman. Yes, he hated Amarantha, but he wouldn’t let his view of Amarantha cloud Mila’s. 

“It was just a dream,” he said, quietly. “Your mama is okay in there. And she loves you and she misses you, okay?”

Mila yawned, nodding, slowly.

“Let’s get you back to sleep,” Azriel murmured, laying Mila down and tucking her in tight. “Don’t want to be tired for preschool in the morning. I love you.”

“Love you,” Mila said, eyes already closed. He patted her back, gently, until her breathing evened out; then, he backed out of her room, slowly and quietly, until he was back across the hall, sneaking into his own bedroom.

Where Elain was sound asleep.

“Ah, fuck,” he muttered, laying down on the other side of his bed.

It took him a longass time to fall asleep.

And when morning came, and he stumbled into the kitchen, Mor was already sitting at the table, grinning with a cup of coffee. 

“May I help you?” he mumbled, pulling open the fridge for some orange juice.

“Took you a long time to open your door for Mila in the middle of the night,” she said, sipping from her mug. 

Azriel shut the door and spun around, exasperated. “You were awake? Are you fucking kidding me?”

Mor shrugged. “She wanted you, not me. Now, what did she interrupt?”

“Nothing,” Azriel muttered. “Didn’t have a chance to….nevermind. I’ve got to run to the store to get a few things before I head to Elain’s dad’s to finish up. Mind taking Mila to school for me?”

“I’d be honored,” she said, winking. 

Azriel took the orange juice into his bedroom and got dressed. He had pulled on a hat over his messy hair when Elain woke up.

She smiled sleepily at him.

“Good morning,” he said, quietly.

“Good morning,” she repeated. “Sorry about last night.”

Azriel smiled. “Don’t be. It was late. I’ll be done around noon. Can I come get you for your lunch?” 

“Please do,” she smiled, and he kissed her forehead before walking out.

Mor’s grin followed him until he was out the door.

~~~~~

After Feyre left, Rhysand had run to Tamlin’s office, but he wasn’t in, yet, and wouldn’t be until ten. So, he drove down the strip until he came upon a little, local jewelry shop. 

He was welcomed by the owner, an elderly man, who was smiling broadly behind the counter.

“I see you got my message.”

Rhysand smiled. “Couldn’t wait. Can I see it?”

The owner went to the back of the shop and came back with a little black velvet box. He handed it to Rhysand, who opened it with shaking fingers.

It was perfect. 

Simple, he couldn’t afford too much, but he knew she would like it. A thin, rose gold band with a small, pear-shaped diamond. 

“I can make the first payment today,” Rhysand said, closing the lid. “I can take it with me today, though, right? Even if it’s not paid in full?”

“Of course,” the man smiled.

Rhysand slipped the ring into his pocket before making his payment, thanking the owner, and leaving. He wasn’t sure when he’d ask, but he figured he would know when the moment felt right.

All he knew was that he was in love with Feyre. He had always been in love with Feyre. There was no one else he would want to ask to spend the rest of his life with him.

As he got into his car, he pushed the idea into the back of his mind and put the ring into his glove box. 

At nearly ten, he was driving back down the strip, until he was parked in front of Tamlin’s father’s building, where Tamlin got a job for simply being his father’s son. 

Rhysand didn’t wait. He got out of his car and walked into the building, heading straight for the elevators. 

He rode up to the twelfth floor, where the receptionist greeted him with a smile. “I told Mr. Lewis you stopped by. He said to send you in when you come back.”

Rhysand nodded his thanks and went through the winding halls until he was in front of Tamlin’s office door. He didn’t bother knocking.

Tamlin looked up, one brow raised, as Rhysand entered and sat in one of the armchairs on the other side of his desk.

For a moment, neither of them talked.

“Gad to see you’re healing,” Tamlin said, with a small, snarky smile. “Not surprised to see you coming to my office. Can’t get your ass kicked here.”

Rhysand shook his head. “I came here to talk to you like a fucking man. We’re not in high school, Tamlin. I’m not like you. I don’t go around looking for trouble like a fucked up teenager.”

Tamlin’s pride wasn’t hurt. That smile remained as he cocked his head. “I liked when Feyre came to my apartment the other day. How very chivalrous of her. Reminded me of simpler times, when she warmed my bed, not yours.”

“Don’t talk to me about Feyre,” Rhysand said, trying not to let the words bother him. “It’s sad, really, how your need to make her miserable has come this far.”

Tamlin’s smile faded. “I love her. All I do is for her.”

“That’s bullshit,” Rhysand said, shaking his head. “Feyre loves me, and you cannot stand that you lost her. When, in reality, it’s all your fault. You pushed her away with your pride, your incessant need  to be in charge of everything, her included. And now that she’s finally happy, you can’t stand it. Because it’s me, the person you hate the most, who is making her happy.”

Tamlin didn’t move. He watched Rhysand with a deadly calm, one that Rhys matched as he propped his elbows on the armrests and leaned forward. 

“I’m not afraid of you,” Rhysand went on. “I never was, and I never will be, but Feyre doesn’t deserve to live with you constantly looming over her shoulder, so you will back the fuck off.”

Tamlin, to Rhysand’s surprise, grinned. “She’ll come back to me, no matter what I do. She was with me for almost a decade. She’s with you now because you were around, and she was lonely.”

The words struck a nerve as Rhysand’s worst nightmare was voiced by his greatest foe. 

But he didn’t let it show. “Will you still be saying that when Feyre becomes my wife? Because she will. Soon. I’ve got a ring, I plan to propose, and you’ll be the first person I tell when she says yes.” 

Tamlin was up from his desk and storming around the corner where Rhysand met him, on his feet. 

“Ask her to marry you and you’ll be looking worse on your wedding day than you do right now,” Tamlin spat.

He jabbed Rhysand in his broken ribs, and the pain was excruciating, but Rhysand was ready, this time. Rhysand elbowed Tamlin in the jaw before pushing him back onto his desk and holding him down by his throat. His laptop fell off, along with a giant stack of - what Rhysand assumed - important documents. 

“You’ll leave us alone,” Rhysand said, gritting through the pain that shot through his body. “You forget that I know you, Tamlin, that I’ve known you for your entire life. If you want to keep the glamorous life you have, your dad’s money, you’ll leave us the fuck alone. If you ever cared for Feyre, you’ll leave us the fuck alone. And, if you don’t, I will personally destroy you. So leave us. The fuck. Alone.”

Rhysand slammed Tamlin’s head back into his desk one last time, for good measure, before storming out.

Tamlin didn’t come after him.

~~~~~

tag List (to be tagged, comment or send me an ask!)

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Prompts:

{ “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever met that asshole” - Feysand } -anonymous

{ “How about Nessian needing to fake date when they go home for the holidays?!” } - anonymous

{ “could u pls do like an elriel fic where azriel is like this mysterious bad boy and elain is a goody two shoes lik aaaaa i cant get that image out of my head” } - anonymous

[eberles]

Love, Rafe ♡

Part 4 - Boston

Rafe Cameron x OC

A/N: For those of you who have seen Love, Rosie you know that when Alex meets Sally, everything pretty much fast forwards about 5 years or so? So this chapter is A LOT. Anyways I hope you enjoy reading! ☺️ 

as some of you know, tumblr doesn’t want Love, Rafe on any of the OBX tags, so if you like it please reblog it 🥺it means a lot to me!

Warnings: angst, swearing

Part One Part Two Part Three

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“Hi yea, I think we have a class together right? I’m Zoe!” she responded smiling and accepting his handshake. Zoe had to admit she came to this bar to sit alone and drink until she wasn’t sad about Rafe anymore, but seeing Nate did lift her sprits quite a bit. 

✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽

It’s been one year since Zoe met Nate in that bar in Boston and in that year they have moved in together. Zoe kept in contact with Rafe of course, sending gifts for Christmases and birthdays for him and baby Katie, but they haven’t actually seen each other at all. Zoe and Nate sent rafe Christmas cards with their photos on them to which Rafe rolled his eyes at, but Zoe always loved receiving Christmas cards with pictures of Rafe and baby Katie. She even hung them up as decorations around Christmas time despite Nate’s open dislike towards it. Nate often looked down on Rafe and his friendship with Zoe, but he was just a jealous man deep down. They often video chatted and when they couldn’t they would just send videos to each other and respond when they could. 

This went on for the next 5 years. Baby Katie was no longer a baby anymore, in fact, she could ride a bike on her own and she was about to start kindergarten! Rafe was doing good with Katie and now that she was able to go to school Rafe could finally get a stable job working with his father relearning the business he once knew in high school. Rafe wasn’t dating anyone but he definitely didn’t frown on having few one night stands every now and then. 

Zoe’s life was not nearly as perfect as it looked to the outside world. Sure, her and Nate lived in a perfect Boston apartment, but little did everyone know that that same apartment was where they spent a lot of time fighting. Mostly fights about stupid stuff like Zoe’s hair clogging the shower drain and if Zoe turned the heat up before asking Nate about it first, but he was always quick to blow up. One of those pointless late night fights is what led to Zoe texting Rafe telling him she missed him and wanted him to come visit and now that Katie was old enough to leave with his parents for more than a few hours, he said yes. 

It was just a few days later when Zoe met Rafe at an airport in Boston and of course the moment she saw him walking through the gates with his bags she ran up to him. Rafe spotted her running and dropped his bags while opening his arms waiting for Zoe to run into them and she did, along with lifting her legs and wrapping them around Rafe’s waist to give him the tightest hug ever. They were both smiling like crazy and everyone was staring at them in the middle of the airport. 

“I missed you!” Zoe said as Rafe put her back down on the ground.

“So, are you tired, hungry?” Zoe asked Rafe was they started moving through the airport.

“No..why?” Rafe asked her skeptically. He was right to be skeptical because they ended up at a rave with a few of Zoe’s friends from college. They had a really amazing night filled with alcohol, dancing, jumping around, swimming in a pool fully clothed. The two of them didn’t get any sleep that night; once the sun started to come up they ended up walking around the streets of Boston doing some sightseeing and touristy adventures. They ended up in Boston Commons laying on the grass just catching up on life. 

“I don’t regret Katie, ya know? She’s the most amazing kid. The only weird thing is that she reminds me more of you than Olivia, but I think that’s because I love her.” Rafe spoke as he started to move closer to Zoe. They were both laying in the grass but their faces were closer than ever. Rafe looked between Zoe’s eyes and lips a few times before deciding to lean in for a kiss. Zoe pulled away before their lips could connect and sighed quietly.

“We should go.” Zoe whispered and Rafe nodded in response. Since they had been out all night Zoe thought it would be nice to bring Rafe back to her apartment. Upon walking into the apartment, they saw Nate sitting on the stairs as if he was waiting for Zoe.

“Uh, Nate this is Rafe, Rafe meet Nate.” Zoe said politely looking between the two.

“Good morning.” Nate sighed out and retreated back upstairs to their shared room giving Zoe and Rafe a chance to exchange a side glance. The evening was about to get more tense however. Nate loved to cook so he thought it would be best to have a fun family dinner with his sister, Rafe, and Zoe. Rafe and Zoe sat next to each other across from Nate and his sister. He prepared an extremely posh meal in which Rafe felt he was too ‘normal’ to eat.

“Wow, you guys eat like this all the time?” Rafe asked.

“No, just when we have special guests.” Nate responded with no emotion in his voice.

“Well, it looks delicious.” Rafe added, trying to soften the tension in the air. Nate smiled slightly at his response, but you could tell he didn’t care very much what Rafe thought of his food. A few minutes of awkward silence goes by before Nate’s phone rings and Zoe isn’t surprised when he leaves dinner to answer it.

“Who was that?” Zoe asked with a raised eyebrow when he returned to the table.

“Can we just talk about it later, please?” Nate said quietly trying to keep their business out of Rafe’s ears.

“No, tell me now, Nate.” Zoe said getting a little angry, she knew who it was and she wanted Nate to say it.

“It was Melissa, okay? For fucks sakes, you can never leave anything alone!” Nate started off quiet but he yelling by the end of his sentence. It didn’t take long for him to abruptly stand up from the table and throw his dish in the sink breaking it in the process, before he stormed off.

“Who is Melissa?” Rafe asked Zoe quietly.

“The girl Nate cheated on me with a few months ago.” Zoe whispered, trying to wrap her brain around the fact it was happening again, but she had a gut feelings when he ran off to answer the phone. Nate would’ve never done that if it were anyone else calling which is why she pushed for him to tell her who it was. Zoe knew she should’ve told Rafe when it happened, but she was embarrassed and Nate promised it was over and then it didn’t mean anything. Rafe didn’t ask anymore questions even though he had about a dozen more upon hearing her answer. 

“Well, at least we still have that art show to go to later!” Nate’s sister spoke out once Nate returned back downstairs with the rest of you. Although the art show wasn’t exactly good either. It didn’t take long for Rafe to get fed up with the lies around him and storm out, but he didn’t expect Zoe to leave Nate’s side and follow him out.

“Rafe! Where are you going?” Zoe yelled out, following Rafe down the side walk.

“I’m going back to Outer Banks, Zoe! I shouldn’t be here and you know that!” Rafe said back while raising his arms up in the air as he turned around to face Zoe.

“Rafe, what? Everything’s fine, Nate and I act like that all the time.” Zoe breathed out once she caught up to him.

“Oh that’s great, i’m so glad you’re fine, but i’m not, we were out together all night Zoe, and you didn’t even tell me your boyfriend is cheating on you! Why am I here, Zoe? So you can get back at him?” Rafe questioned her.

“You’re here because I wanted to see you! Jesus, you’re my best friend!” Zoe yelled back, getting defensive. 

“Or maybe you needed someone that you know well enough to point out what’s right in front of you.” Rafe spoke, trying to be gentle with Zoe.

“What are you even talking about, Rafe?” Zoe said while slumping her shoulders down, already exhausted from this conversation.

“This entire thing is so fucked up, Zoe! God damnit! Open your eyes!” Rafe yelled, getting frustrated.

“I don’t know if you’re like jealous of my life here seeing what you could’ve had if you didn’t get a girl pregnant or what, Rafe, but you need to relax.” Zoe said as she felt her eyes start to fill with tears.

“I’m not jealous, Zoe, I feel sorry for you, and I can’t do this.” Rafe laughed out and walked away from Zoe leaving her on the side walk for the second time that night. 

Part 5

[tsnamey]

Under his Roof

[You were asked to spend the night with bad boy!Lucas and try to keep him out of trouble, his parents hoping that you could get through to him.]

A/N - At this point, y'all should know I don't proofread until later on but this has been sitting in my drafts for months, I'm sooo glad I finally finished it. Also I think I changed from present tense to past tense in this?? not one hundred percent sure tho.

Genre - bad boy!Lucas, highschol!au, Lucas x reader, best friends to strangers to lovers?? is that a thing

Word Count - 2.09k

Warning - mentions of blood

———————————————————————

You groan when you see who you would be spending your Friday night with. Lucas Wong, the notorious bad boy of your high school. You had been asked to spend the night with Lucas while his parents were out. Your families are very close to one another and you were once close with the said boy before you became juniors in high school and he gained his title. ‘This is going to be fun’, you sigh and walked through the door. Lucas gives you a small tour (and by small tour you mean he told you where everything was but didn't bother standing up from the couch) then left, leaving you with the chores that his parents had set him to do.

You grumble and began looking around the house to see where everything was. You walk past the bathroom, the master bedroom, even the laundry until you eventually find yourself in front of a white door with a ‘DO NOT ENTER’ sign. You smirk, knowing exactly who’s room this was. I mean, he wasn’t home so why not have a little peek? You expect a typical bad boy’s room with posters on the wall and bandages everywhere, maybe a leather jacket and a bike helmet, but you walked into a navy blue and plain bedroom with a comfortable aura. A white oak desk sat in the corner of his room with a laptop and a few books on it. A clothes drawer was placed next to it with photo frames of his family and close friends. You notice a picture of two children in the middle and as you move closer, you realise that it was a picture of the pair of you, the younger you. Your smile grows wider as you glance around, his bedroom colliding with his personality. 

Hours later, the door opened and slammed shut, breaking you from the TV. You heard feet pad up the stairs and you decided to follow, wanting to know what Lucas was rushing for. You checked every room before his bedroom and he was nowhere to be found. You slowly approached his door and knocked lightly, hoping he would hear you. “What do you want?!” He yelled through the door. You flinched at his tone but straightened your back. “Are you okay? You seem to be in a rush.” Your voice was loud but soft, bringing comfort to Lucas. He shook his head. “I’m fine! Just go back to- ahh,” he hissed and you couldn't sit back any more so you opened the door to see him on his bed. “Y/N WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!?? GO AWAY, I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP,” Lucas was panicking as you stared at his figure. The blood dripping from the cut on his forehead contrasted with his eye, which was turning a vibrant shade of blue and purple. His cheek was covered in the red substance as was his jawline and neck. His white t-shirt was black from dirt and grease and blood was also found on it. The most damage was his fists. The skin had been teared up and blood was oozing from each wound. “Y/N just leave me alone,” he hissed at you with a death glare. He stood up and walked towards you, encouraging you to leave his room but you, surprisingly, felt nothing but guilt and hurt. 

A tear fell from your eye and Lucas halted, his expression softening but not backing down. You looked down and shook your head, heading to his bathroom and grabbing a first aid kit. You entered the bedroom again and shoved Lucas onto his bed, forcing him to sit still. “Y/N, What are you doing?” This time, Lucas spoke in a softer tone. “Just shut up Yukhei, and let me help you.” You surprised Lucas when you called him his Korean name, a habit you had when you were kids. He shut his mouth when you placed a damp washcloth onto his forehead, gently wiping the sweat and blood from his face. A closer look helped you gain a better view of his face and you noticed a cut on his lip. “You cut your lip as well,” You murmured to no one in particular and you gently touch his lip with your finger, watching him flinch from the contact. “Sorry,” You whispered and continued to wash his face. You ventured down his face to his neck and he shivered as your fingers grazed his skin, goosebumps forming on his clothed arms and legs.

 You sighed, your back becoming uncomfortable from your sitting position. “What’s wrong,” Lucas speaks up. You could feel his breath on your neck as you look at his knuckles. “I’m sitting in an awkward position but this is the only way I can reach your face, neck and hands.” He nodded before he patted his thighs. You looked at him, confused at his action. “Sit in my lap, it will be more comfortable for you,” He spoke, looking away from you. You nodded and placed your leg over him, straddling him. You took his hand and placed it on your thigh, wiping the blood from his fist. His grip on your leg increased and he hissed at every movement. You eventually wiped a majority of the blood off of his wounds, leaving red cuts and rashes scattering his skin. You hopped off his lap and glanced at his shirt. “Did you get hit in the stomach,” you whispered to him. He nodded and began to lift his shirt. As more skin was revealed, bruises were seen scattering his stomach. You sighed and looked at his face, noticing his gaze on you. “You’ve always made the stupidest decisions.” He didn't answer you. You sighed and mumbled, “I’ll be back.” 

You raced down the stairs and grabbed a few ice packs from the freezer, making your way back up to his room. He hadn’t moved from where he was but sat up a bit when you entered the room. You placed the ice packs on the bed and placed one on his stomach. He winced at the coolness but grabbed one himself and placed it on his eye. A few minutes later, you had cleaned him up and bandaged him up as best as you could and you were sitting on his chair while he was laying on his bed. You were scrolling through your phone before you were interrupted by a yawn. Your eyes fluttered shut in exhaustion before you looked at the time. You yawn and look at the bed. Lucas was still laying on his bed but his phone was occupying his attention. You thought you could quickly sneak out of his room but you were proven wrong as he called your name.

“Y/N?” his gaze left his phone and focused on your figure, standing by the door. “Where are you going?” His voice was a lot softer than before. “I’m going to bed.” Your hand reaches for the door handle until you hear Lucas. “Please don’t go. I want you here.” You face him and notice the visible pout on his face. You nod your head and tell him that you’ll go get ready for bed then come back. His eyes never left the door, waiting for you to enter the room again. After what felt like forever, for him, you walked back into the room.

You placed your things on his desk and sat on his bed, watching his face contort into a face of pain. “Yukhei...” You began but he cut you off “I know, I know, I shouldn't be doing it and it will hurt my image and affect my school work-” “I wasn’t going to say that,” You mumble. His eyes follow you and he tilts his head as you continue, “I mean, yeah I agree with what you just said but I’m not going to tell you to stop. You're a stubborn boy, Lucas, and I know that if you won’t listen to your parents then you won’t listen to me. But if you do keep doing this, I don’t want you to have to fix yourself. We were always looking out for each other as kids and, for me, that hasn't stopped. Remember the time you got out of detention after you got into that fight at the basketball court? I told the teachers that the other guy started it and you were defending yourself. Remember when you almost got suspended from ditching school? I told the principal your grandmother had passed away and you needed some alone time. If you continue fighting and continue this bad boy image, I want to be here to take care of you Yukhei.” His eyes soften and he grabs your hand.

“That's not true,” he states softly. you furrow your eyebrows, waiting for him to explain. “I may not listen to my parents or the teachers or any of my friends but I always listen to you. Remember when the teacher sent me to detention but I wouldn't go? I looked over at you and I could tell you were asking me to go just by the look you were giving me so I went to detention. Remember when I was about to fight your boyfriend? I knew he cheated on you but I didn’t want you to get hurt so I made up an excuse to fight him. But as soon as you told me to stop, I did. Y/N, out of everyone in my life, you're the only person I will listen to and if you tell me to stop fighting, if you tell me to stop going out late, if you tell me to listen in class, I will do it for you. I don’t care what everyone else say, I’ve only ever cared about you.” You were frozen by his confession and your eyes never left his. “Lucas, I.... I can’t tell you what to do. You have to make those decisions yourself, you have to know what is right and wrong.” I lay my head next to yours and watch you turn your body to face mine. You eyes glanced over his features and you admire him. 

“Why did we drift apart?” You whisper, watching his eyes glance at your lips as you spoke. “You got a boyfriend,” You raise your eyebrows at him, “What does that have to do with us?” “I liked you a lot and I had always dreamed of dating you but when you told me you had gotten a boyfriend, I was angry at myself for being to scared to ask you. I remembered you had once said that you were into bad boys so I tried to get you to fall in love with me but you’d always talk about him so being a ‘bad boy’ became more of a distraction.” You smile at his confession. “You're an absolute idiot, you know that?” He frowned at your statement. “How?” “Because I liked you too, I got a boyfriend because I want to make you jealous but I thought that you didn't want to be friends anymore because you thought I was replacing you,” You take a deep breath and continue, “but obviously that didn't work because we broke up after only a few months of dating. I knew he cheated on me but I didn't like him so it didn’t really bother me and I still had feelings for you but I didn’t think that-” 

 A gasp leaves your lips as you feel a pair of lips push against yours. The feeling of Lucas’ soft, plump lips against yours had you melting into his touch. His arms wrapped around your body and pulled you closer to him, tickling the skin that was exposed. You hands delicately pulled his neck to deepen the kiss. Your heart was beating against your chest and you swear you could feel his, beating the same. You had never felt like this before, like you were floating yet trapped, you loved everything about it. You both broke away from each other, gasping for air and pressed against one another. The smile on his face never changed when you met his eyes. “Well that was something,” He started before he broke into a laugh. You smile and watch his eyes crinkle and his smile grow. “ He looks down at you with a fixed gaze. “I'm still in love with you,” His eyes never leave yours unless he was glancing down at your lips. “Well that's reassuring because I'm still in love with you,”

[cynthiaandsamus]

Custom Toonami Block Week 71 Rundown!

Code Geass: Lelouch establishes the Black Knights floating iceburg country complete with representatives and shit and somehow no one on the team monitoring Lelouch notices he disappears right when Zero is exiled, like yeah half of them are in Lelouch’s pocket anyway but you’d think him just yeeting himself out of the country would be difficult to hide from the oversight committee. Anyway Brittania being Brittania is going to have a political wedding with the Chinese Disturbingly Loli Empress and their literal oldest Prince, like they couldn’t even pick a slightly younger prince to make this less creepy, it’s literally the First Prince who’s like 40, I’m sure Charles has fucked more recently and they have a younger prince but no we have to really hammer home how creepy this is. So yeah now that Lelouch’s new band is under the Chinese banner, having them make peace with Brittania and sell them out would be bad so Lelouch decides to crash the celebration and… challenge Schnizel to Chess, because reasons. And both of them just proceed to completely ignore the rules of Chess for shit that’s thematically appropriate before Nina tries to stab Zero and Schnizel says he has all he needs about who Zero really is. Also Milly’s here and I feel bad for her because all of her friends are several degrees down the sanity cliff now and she’s just there trying to hold their cliché student council group together while wondering if she really will have to marry Lloyd or not because it’s been a year and they threw together this Chinese marriage in like two days so who knows anymore. Anyway Xingke crashes the wedding because of his adorable backstory with the Empress and Lelouch crashes Xingke’s crashing of the wedding by literally appearing out of nowhere which is pretty good for a guy as shitty at athletics as Lelouch and also Jeremiah is on a chair in a desert and this is important or something.

Inuyasha: So we start the Panther Deva filler arc and it’s pretty good honestly, we have an array of Captain Planet Panthers to fight with elemental powers of varying strength to give Koga, Miroku, Sango and Sesshomaru something to do so it’s not just the Inuyasha Wind Scar Power Hour and we have some good foreshadowing/fluff of Inuyasha eating steak in the modern era and fucking around with Kagome’s cat and pissing it off which is a good thematic throughline about how petty cats are and the whole thing has this sunset coloring and it’s really pretty. Anyway Kagome gets captured, you know how it goes, Koga’s pissed because Inuyasha is always letting Kagome get captured and he has a fucking point, bitch is captured more than Princess Peach at this point. But turns out the Panther Demons run behind a barrier and too bad for them Inuyasha just got a new anti-barrier sword to try out.

Yu Yu Hakusho: So Suzaku’s kind of broken, he can dispel his clones to heal himself which apparently gives him all of his energy back because he went from exhausted to just being able to re-do the clones again and start blasting Yusuke so he heals and rests indefinitely as long as one of the clones is alive that’s fucking insane. Anyway apparently despite just healing, Suzaku got his guidance system damaged by Yusuke’s first attack and his aim has been getting progressively worse so he just has to sit there with stormtrooper aim winging Yusuke now and then to torture the poor guy despite going Super Saiyan last time Yusuke only had one shot in him but now he does the whole Life Chakra deal and gives his life for one more even Super Saiyan-yer burst and Shotguns Suzaku’s clones into dust and somehow transmits energy to Keiko through the tv to protect her. It’s pretty convenient that Yusuke learned an AOE attack right before fighting someone that needs all of their clones to be killed at the same time to stay down but yeah, arc over, pretty fun, Yusuke pulled so much power out of his ass he literally dies but some spirit mouth to mouth with Kuwabara saves him with surprisingly little consequences for either of them while Hiei says he’d never drag himself down to save anyone and I’m sure that won’t come back to haunt him. Also Yusuke FINALLY tells Keiko he’s a Spirit Detective given this is like the third time she’s been held hostage by a demon she probably should’ve figured this out sooner.

Fate Zero: Caster’s sitting there talking about how Saber is his waifu and like dude Saber is EVERYONE’s waifu but apparently it’s not actually Saber he’s after but a Saberface so he’s not wrong but he’s also not right. So yeah, he orders more child murders which knowing this guy there isn’t a situation that calls for less child murders. Also Lancer’s teacher asshole dude is cheating by using two E-Tanks for his servant after being all ‘haha old magician families are just better lol’ he has to use two dudes to make his servant fight and still got rolled by Iskandar. Also Kiritgusu bombs the fuck out of his building which given this takes place in 1994 is probably in very poor taste. Also Kirei meets Kiritsugu’s battle maid and shit goes down but everyone’s like “Okay Caster’s more insane than usual so we should probably take care of that” and Gilgamesh claims he’s gonna teach Kirei about pleasure while shirtlessly drinking wine so there’s that.

Konosuba: So Dio-voice Dullahan is back and he’s pissed because Megumin keeps getting off to destroying his home. Though through a combination of luck, Darkness being a meatshield, Aqua’s absurd water/holy power and Kazuma’s dumb luck along with Megumin blowing up the henchmen, everyone plays a role in defeating him in the most ridiculous manner possible. Despite not actually getting any money from it, it’s nice to see the group come together and actually accomplish something in their own way. Makes me think maybe this series won’t just be dicking around about nothing forever, which is fun don’t get me wrong but I don’t think I could stand 52 episodes of one note character jokes with absolutely no progression.

Sailor Moon Crystal: Tuxedo Mask blows the load on the whole Silver Crystal deal to the whole town so now everybody knows about it and can keep an eye out for it. So despite Tuxedo Mask being nothing but helpful Luna assumes he still may be bad and has the power to brainwash a whole town despite his only notable skills thusfar have been standing on telephone poles like Itachi Uchiha and cheerleading. Anyway Luna takes everyone to Zordon’s Morphing Control Center under the aracade which you think would’ve come up by now and reveals she’s a moon cat which you think also would’ve come up by now. Luna’s really just been “We gotta do the thing cause I say so” this entire time. Anyway they wreck the tv broadcast and kick the King’s ass but we have a Disc One Final Boss as Queen Beryl shows up and uses her Conqueror’s Haki to knock out the other Guardians without touching them while Usagi has an existential crisis about her crush maybe being problematic. They give motivational speeches to each other, basically Usagi telling him that they both have to try harder despite feeling powerless and them immediately wilting and saying she’s hopless so he can have a turn giving her a speech and then she gets surprised when he knows she’s Sailor Moon despite literally just telling him she’s the leader and has to help everyone and shit. Anyway, you know how this goes by now, Ancient Moon Laser Beams, bad guys fall, Queen retreats and Usagi wakes up in Mamoru’s apartment ready to reenact Fifty Shades of Moon. Hey an actual fucking cliffhanger for once, that’s kinda neat.

Durarara!!:  Mikado’s plan finally comes together and he meets with Ms. Yagiri while Celty confronts the girl with her head who says her name is also Celty. We get Mikado’s backstory about basically creating Reddit to make The Dollars a Stand Alone Complex, a gang that doesn’t actually exist outside of the rumors of its existence, man this kid’s been watching too much GitS. Still despite it going predictably awful with guys doing shitty things in their name by some miracle some of Mikado’s wide-eyed optimism gets through and his belief in the good of humanity makes the Dollars a gang that’s good at its core. And now they use that good to outnumber the Yagiri goons and let Mikado get away while Celty jumps off a roof on her bike and has a mental breakdown which people seem to hear for some reason. Also Seiji broke out and is using his yandere energy to hunt down Mikado.