#and i wouldnt have it any other way frankly

[kriskukko]

i love being passionately attracted to men every day i get to log onto the internet and see pictures of them that make me clench my fist and groan in carnal agony

[britneyshakespeare]

you know i don't bring this up as a light anecdote because it involves me being talked about in really perverted ways behind my back. but when i was like 20 i was part of this large group of friends that was mostly a bunch of guys, and a couple of girlfriends. and the energy if you were a girl starting to hang around them was like. "ok, so who are you gonna hook up with/date?" and it didn't last long bc of course when the answer ended up being "well none of you," the patience they had for me evaporated. lol. so i was being talked about among literally every single one of them behind my back in a gigantic group chat, of like literally everyone in the original group chat (including the ppl who never fucking used it, and it was over twelve people) minus a few other ppl they didn't like, decidedly. and eventually one of my GOOD friends (that i am still friends w to this day) told me about it and then there was the whole drama of people not being able to accept consequences for their actions, not owning up to being cowardly bullies, etc... yawn yawn yawn. truly that was some stupid middle school shit from a bunch of immature ppl that i didn't really take to heart. not the guys, anyway. i was honestly very hurt by a couple of girls who partook in it though, that i thought genuinely liked me and who i genuinely liked in return, so that was shocking to me.

but anyway. after this all happened my sister went OFF on this one guy in particular. bc he had been a nuisance before. he was a slimy creep honestly. i used to feel a lot of pity for him bc i thought he was just sad and wanted attention but that was just my 20-year-old nonsense brain way of interpreting it. he was incredibly annoying and would wear girls down, would hop from one girl to another week after week, each one not reciprocating his constant desperate flirting and lovebombing. and there was a joke he participated in about me and my (also queer, female) friend that was particularly crossing a line. so kaily just ripped this guy a new one when he went to try and offer an explanation. like imagine trying to even talk to someone after you just humiliated and bullied their sister... couldn't be me. like i was literally the one being bullied in this instant but i can't imagine the kind of white hot rage i'd be in if someone did that to my sister. you know? so yeah.

at the end of this rant kaily told him "go to hell." you know. like fuck off. go fuck yourself. go to hell. good old indecent words to throw out at someone you loathe, right? i'm literally ONLY bringing this up because i cannot stop thinking, all these years later, about how one of the girls who participated in it, and was the least apologetic about it (in fact weirdly a year later she came back just to taunt me again and tell me how much better her life is without me and how stupid i was for breaking up a 'wonderful' friend group?? yeah that sounds like the behavior of someone who is over it)... i don't remember where but someone told me she talked particularly about that message to that guy and said "kaily told (name) to burn in hell" like. like that whole time she interpreted my sister as like a conservative christian who was calling him a dirty sinner. bc presumably she had never heard the phrase "go to hell" in a non-literal context before, or just never understood it?? like that girl didn't necessarily strike me as incredibly bright or something, in the short time i knew her, but i never would've guessed she could be so dumb...

but for the record that pervert guy yeah he is gonna burn in hell.

[kymal]

the voice of the female protag in fo4 is voicing the raven queen in tlovm

[drdemonprince]

what was your journey from libertarian to leftest/anarchist like?

well, as a teen i hated authority and society and wanted complete freedom so i was a libertarian. then i realized i was gay and trans and libertarianism weren't gonna do shit for me. when obama won in 2008 i noticed that i felt relieved, even though i had not voted for him. I went away to academia shortly after that, and became surrounded by liberal people, all of them doing research with a liberal point of view, and what do you know, product of my social environment and queer and desperate for acceptance among the group that said they cared about me, I became a liberal too.

over time academia mistreated me and rejected me for who i really was, and i started to transition and realize that i was disabled. i became more left-leaning frankly because it seemed like that was the only way to be able to survive as what i was, identity wise, and find anyone at all who would correctly gender me or tolerate me. if you want to be able to hang out with other trans people and have them treat you right, there are values you basically have to say that you subscribe to. anyone who didn't subscribe to those political values was mistreated, viewed skeptically, talked to like they were dumb, and ostracized. and some of those values did make sense to me, whereas others didn't.

i saw people pushed to the social margins for being libertarians, for instance, as if that is a political ideology that carries any danger when some random trans woman with a very weak social support system says in a support group that she maybe kinda subscribes to it. i was even terrified of people finding out that i used to believe in anything "wrong" according to the social dogma, for a while. but i tried to make the most sense of the confusing tangle of community held beliefs as i could, so that i wouldnt be completely ostracized from both straight and queer society at once. and so I was vaguely leftist, but with a confused understanding of systemic oppression based on identity (among lots of other things, like abolition and anti-colonialism), and a deep terror of ever saying anything that would ever get me criticized/cancelled/viewed as a bad person.

and then the pandemic happened and i wasn't so beholden to mass community scrutiny anymore. i read a ton i looked at how politics actually plays out, and i got a little bit more capable and secure in myself and came to similarly feel awed by how much people are really capable of when they aren't being controlled or dependent upon approval in order to survive. and anarchy basically asserted that it had always been there in me, i just hadn't known the name for it. and by then i felt safe and strong enough and had enough faith in others to decide it was okay to have opinions that others disagreed with, and that i wouldn't starve out in the cold if i gave voice to them.

like a lot of people, i had misconceptions about what anarchism really was and writers like Graeber, Wengrow, Solnit, etc really disabused me of that notion and made me understand that it wasn't a scary worldview at all, it was the most human and accepting one there really was out there.

My political journey has not been especially principled or philosophical, it has been emotional, intuitive, and rooted in a lot of social influences. i think that's what most political ideologies are about for people, ultimately, belonging and safety.

I was originally a political scientist by training and in that field's body of research we see that most people do not have consistent political belief systems, they agree to a mish-mosh of statements and support various policies that don't all add up in a logically explicable way. they also don't tend to have stable views over time. just as i think morality is a pretty bad explanation of why humans do what they do, and why we help eachother and avoid doing harm, it's very evident that political ideology is a piss poor predictor of political behavior or affiliation. the far clearer explanation far more consistent with the evidence is that people politically align themselves based on their social milleu and their feelings.

this is why i always feel myself holding back from dying for a cause, and blanch when MLMs start talking about needing to do all they can to bring about communism with an almost religious fervor (beyond the fact that such thinking also doesn't line up with a lot of communist thought and theory about how capitalism falls anyway). i dont think that any of these ideologies really carry all that much weight or influence people's actions, affiliations, or political behavior on the level we all pretend that they do. i dont think they're "real". anarchy is more of a philosophy of how to relate to other people in daily life, for me, rather than a religion about how the world needs to be or where we specifically need to be heading. it's more big-I Ideological for plenty of other people, and again, i blanch when they start preaching about it as if their whole life is in service to the idea of it. I think we do anarchism by living as if we're free, every day. and that's what i care about, if i'm being honest. feeling free, safe, and cared for by some other people, without conditions, right now.

[gyupinkys]

Use you

Hoshi x reader ft. txt

Soonyoung doesn't play around when it comes to his girl. Despite you being able to fend for yourself, he can't help but worry when you turn up missing. You on the other hand, you're having the time of your life putting a bratty Soobin and his friends in their place.

WARNINGS: MURDER, GORE, TORTURE, guns, knives, switch reader, dom hoshi, impact play, degradation, masturbation, some mxm, oral (m&f receiving), unprotected sex, voyerism, exhobitionism, mommy and daddy kink bondage, and more. I kinda went a little ham.

WC-2.8K

Hoshi’s knuckles are really starting to hurt. He’s not the muscle man so why is he the one torturing this man for information? 

“Where is she?”

“You’re never getting your bitch back.” the man tied to the chair says with a bloody smile. 

Soonyoung likes to think he’s a calm man. He always tries to keep his head steady, he tries to think things through, but right now all he can see is red. This fucking low life thinks he can disrespect you and it’s wont become an issue?

“That bitch huh?” Hoshi says with a smile; turning around to pick up his favorite, sharpest knife. You gifted this to him two years ago after you stabbed him in the leg for flirting with a girl at the club. The knife is beautiful, matte black blade with gold detailing and across the handle is his name engraved. You were so excited to give it to him only to see a girl's hand on his chest and his hands on her hips. You knew he was trying to rile you up, make you take him to the nearest bathroom and fuck him like he’s yours, but little did he know he had another thing coming. You and Hoshi have an open relationship, you both know you wouldnt work well tied down. Hoshi don’t mind you being with other people, frankly he think it’s kind of hot knowing you fuck other people but at the end of the day your his and you’ll do anything for him.  God, just remebering that night is making him hard but he needs to focus on the fucker who has the nerve to take you from him. 

Hoshi runs the knife across the cheeks, carving a smile into his face. “You know I've always wanted to do this to someone, joker style.” The man groans in pain and spits blood onto Hoshi's face. Without hesitation hoshi cuts the man's pointer finger clean off, making him scream.  

“You have nine more opportunities to tell me where she is.”

“Last I saw her she was gagging on my cock.”

“OK. You’re done.”

He shoves his knife straight into the mans throat making him gag and choke on his own blood.

“Gag on that bitch.”

Hoshi leaves the room frustrated. None of these guys give up any information and it’s already been two days since you were taken.

“Hosh, if you keep killing them you won’t get any information.” Jun sighs from outside. 

 “He doesn't know shit he’s just tryna piss me off.”

“Take a breath man, you know she can fend for herself.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know I can see why Karina won’t fuck you, you punch like a bitch.” you say as you spit blood out of your mouth. That's a complete lie, well not the Seulgi part but he absolutely does not punch like a bitch. Your head is throbbing after only one punch.

“Shut it Y/N, I really don’t want to hurt you.” Yeonjun spits.

“What is your goal here? All you're gonna do is piss off everyone and Hoshi will make sure to kill you.”

“You know how much respect I’ll get for being the one to take one of SVT’s girls? Make her mine? That's the biggest slap in the face to any man.” 

“You're so cute Soobin, but that’s not happening. You got the right idea, but the wrong bitch.”

“And what’s little old you gonna do?” he says with a smile.

“You really don’t know who you're messing with.”

“I’m so scared," he said sarcastically and turned to leave the room. Before the door closed you hear him sadly say to someone outside “Yeonjun, do i really punch like a girl?” 

This makes you chuckle to yourself. You feel bad for the poor kid. He’s trying to make a name for himself but this isn't the right way to do it.  Slipping your hands out of the poorly tied ropes you stand up and stretch your legs. These guys are clearly new to the game, they only tied your arms together which is a rookie mistake. They also didnt search you which is even more of a mistake.  You don’t think they’re stupid enough to leave the door unlocked, but you try it anyway and low and behold it's unlocked.You pick up a gun from the tool table and sigh feeling even more sorry for them, this is very pathetic. 

You walk outside to see this is an empty warehouse. You’d think they’d have someone guarding the door but you walk right out. You hear commotion coming from a side room and you peek inside seeing five guys arguing over a game. You decide to mess with them, walking in and taking a seat next to Soobin.

“What are we playing?”

They all look at you with wide eyes. “Beomgyu! I thought you said you tied her up!”

“I did, I don't know how she got out.” 

“Guys, you really need to figure your shit out.” you sigh.

“Why are you all sitting there go get her!”

Beomgyu jumps up and tries to grab you but you hit him across the face with your gun making everyone stop. They all put their hands up and you tell them sit down. 

“Guys, I really don’t want to kill you ok! You seem like nice dudes but this is not the way to make a name for yourselves. You can’t be a puppy and try to attack an elephant or some shit. Start small.” 

“I told you we shouldn't do this.” the blue haired one says.

“Taehyun this is not the time for “I told you so” “

“Can you not tell them it was us, I really don’t want to die.” the tall black haired one whimpers.

“Aren’t you so cute, what's your name?”

“Kai”

“Kai, I can’t let you guys go without punishment.” you pout.

“Pleaseeee” he says giving you a finger heart.

“God, you guys are so cute.” you say with a smile. 

“Stop calling us cute. I don’t know why we're even listening to you, bitch.”

“Soobin. Do you know that I kill people for a living?” you say as you approach him.

“So trust me when I say I’m not scared of five little boys who think they have the balls to be in the mafia.”

“I think you’re underestimating us,” he says as he looks down on you.

“Do your best, love.”

He goes to throw a punch at you which you quickly dodge and grab his wrist, twisting it until it snaps.

“Oooh thats gotta hurt.” you mock in false sympathy as he drops to floor clutching his hand.

“I’m sorry baby, here let me fix it for you.” you grab his wrist and pull it, making him whine in pain. “Are you going to behave Soobin?” 

“Yes, yes please just fix it” he whimpers.

You snap his wrist back in place making it instantly stop hurting, hearing him sigh out a breath of relief. “Go sit back down and shut up.” He stands up and sits on the couch, furthest away from you.

“Kai, sweetie, come here.”

He sheepishly stands up and walks over to you with his head hanging. You put your hand on his chin and raise his head to make him look you in the eye. 

“Give me your phone kai.”

“You promise not to get us killed?” he pouts.

“Yes, sweetie, I pinky promise.”

He gives you his phone and you call Hoshi.

“Babe, I need you to come here. Track the address and come by yourself you won’t need any backup.”

“Y/N what's going on? Why would I come by myself?”

“Soonie, I have everything under control, I promise just come.” 

“Babe-”

“Hoshi, just come here jeez.”

“Ok babe I’ll be there.”

You hand your phone back to Kai and smile at him. “Can you get me some rope, Kai.” you say and drag your fingers up his arm making him blush.

“Kai, don’t.” Taehyun says.

“Go get it for me baby” you say and walk over to Beomgyu grabbing his hair. 

“I’m sorry about this by the way.” you say and softly touch his face making him flinch.  

“I’ll make it up to you I promise.”

“How? I’ll make you feel really good love, I promise.”

Kai comes back with the rope and you tie them up one by one with little complaints. You make sure to be careful with Soobins wrist, not wanting to hurt him more. You tell them to go sit in the corner and be quiet making taehyun stay on the couch. 

“Gyu, why did you want to hurt me?” you say caressing his face.

You see his eyes dilate in real time. “Oh you’re enjoying this?”

“No.”

You straddle him and he groans, his hips bucking up into you. 

“What do you want me to do to you Gyu?”

He groans and you feel him throb under you. “Whatever you want Y/N.” 

“Whatever I want?” you say with a malicious smile.

“Well, I think I’m gonna punish you. Do you think you deserve a punishment?” 

“Yes.”

“I’m glad you agree.” You unbutton his pants and pull his boxers down, pulling him out. He’s much bigger than you anticipated, his dick was almost completely hard and throbbing. You spit directly on his tip and make his moan out, pulling at his restraints. You climb off him and round the couch so you're both facing the boys, draping your hands over his shoulders and beginning to stroke him. The other boys are staring hard at the two of you, all with dents in their pants. Yeonjun is biting his plump lips with furrowed eyebrows and Kai has the cutest blush on his face.

“Gyu, you feel so good in my hands. So big and thick you would stretch me out so nicely.”

“God, I wanna fuck you so bad.”

“Only good boys get to fuck me baby.” you speed up your pace and tighten your grip making him buck his hips wildly. His moans fill up the warehouse and the other boys start shifting around trying to loosen the ropes.

“Yeonjun come here and rub Gyu for me and if he cums I won't let you cum.”

He groans but gets up and you re-tie his restraints so his hands are in front of his body.

He spits in his hands and strokes Beomgyu watching you walk up to Soobin.

“I don’t think you deserve anything. You’ve been so bad to me soobin.” you say as you rub him through his pants.

“I’m sorry, please, please, please.”

“Hmm, I don’t think so.” you say and turn to Taehyun who's looking at you with wide eyes.

“Taehyun come with me.” You sit on the couch and spread your legs. You pull down your pants and pull his face into your clothed core and he starts lapping at you. He rubs his face back and forth into you, his nose bumping your clit.

“Take my panties off honey.”

He pulls your underwear band with his teeth and lets it snap back on your skin. You smile at him and pick up the gun next to you pointing it at his head. 

“Don't play games honey.”

He immediately pulls your panties down and dives in. He sucks and licks, devouring you. You look over to Beomgyu and Yeonjun seeing both staring straight at your pussy; soobin and Kai doing the same.  You run your hands through Beomgyus' hair, stroking his scalp. 

“You wanna cum so bad don’t you?”

“Yes, please let me cum Y/N, I’m so sorry”  

Seeing him look so helpless and pathetic makes you want to get up and fuck him but thats not what this is about. This is a punishment. 

“Yeonjun stop.” They both groan but Yeonjun stops stroking him. 

“I want you to switch. Gyu, you stroke junnie nice and slow for me ok?”

“Ok” he says, taking a deep breath.

You pull Taehyun deeper into you and he sticks his tongue into you, thrusting in and out. 

“Just like that honey, I want you to make me cum just like this.”

He moans into you,the vibration pulling you closer to the edge. You look up straight into Soobins eyes, giving him a smirk. 

“Don’t you just wish you behaved?”

He hangs his head and doesn’t answer you. 

Taehyun sucks hard on your clit and you’re thrown over the edge, moaning loudly making everyone groan. You pull Taehyun’s head back and catch your breath. You call Kai over and push Taehyun to the side. They don’t get to cum. “You three go back and sit by Soobin. Kai, sweety, take a seat for me Ok?”

 “My only good boy hmm?”

“Yes”

“Yes, who?” you say as you unbuckle his belt.

“Yes, mommy.” 

“There we go baby.”

You pull him out and lick a long stripe up his shaft. He whimpers and bucks his hips into your mouth.

“I’m sorry mommy, I couldn’t help it.”

“It’s ok sweet boy.” you say and take his whole length in your mouth. Hoshi’s trained you to take his whole cock in one go, since Kai is slightly smaller it’s not an issue for you. You use your hand to rub his dick as you suck on his tip. You keep sucking until he’s whimpering and on the verge of tears.

“Baby?” you hear Hoshi’s voice echo through the warehouse.

“Perfect” you whisper and pull off Kai with a pop.

You walk outside to see a very apprehensive Hoshi looking around. 

“Hi, baby” you smile and give him a sweet smile.

“Why is there blood on your face? I’m gonna kill these motherfuckers.” 

“Soonyoung, calm down. I’m already punishing them come look.”

You pull Hoshi into the room and he see’s five boys all with their hard dicks out looking humiliated. 

“So you’re the punks that took my girl?”

They all hang their heads in shame. 

“What a pathetic scene.” he says as he walks further into the room.

“Baby, you should've just killed them, because if you don’t I will.”

“Soonie dont kill them. They're just trying to make a name for themselves.”

“They're not doing shit, especially not using my girl.”

“We already used your girl. Quite the slut you’ve got on your hands.” Soobin says with a smile.

You immediately run in front of Hoshi, knowing he was two seconds from killing Soobin. 

“He’s just a kid babe, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Why are you defending him?”

“I feel sorry for him.”

He gives you a dark look.

“Y/N, get on your knees.”

You immediately listen and drop to your knees looking up at him. He looks at Soobin, “I’ll show you how to really use a slut like her.”

You unzip his pants and pull out his cock spitting in your hand. Hoshi likes it beyond messy, he likes to see tears run down your face while you’re struggling to breathe. He pushes you all the way down his shaft, your nose on his pelvis. He starts to fuck your throat like he would your pussy. Your throat burns and you can’t breathe,your eyes start to flutter. He pulls out and slaps you, pulling your hair. 

“You can’t go two days without some dick? You resort to playing with punks like this”

“I’m sorry daddy. Maybe if you found me sooner I wouldn’t need to” you say with a smile. 

The five boys' eyes widen at you calling him daddy. Big bad dom Y/N is suddenly calling Hoshi daddy?

You’ve really riled Hoshi up now, he pulls you up and throws you over the couch so you're facing the boys.

“Watch real good, I’ll show you how to put those pathetic dicks to use.” he says as he slides in, not giving you time to adjust as he starts ruthlessly thrusting into you. He gathers your hair into his hands and pulls your head up so you have to look at all the boys. 

“Tell them how it feels baby.”

“It feels so good daddy, don’t stop.”

His thrust somehow deepens and gets harder, your whole body shaking. 

“Daddy, can I cum?”

“No, you don’t deserve it baby. You barely deserve me fucking you.”

“Daddy, please I need it so bad.”

“No.”

He puts your leg up on the couch and thrust impossibly deep, hitting your g spot everytime making you groan.

“Shit this pussy is always so nice and tight. I bet you wish you could feel, huh Soobin?” hoshi taunts.

“Fuck you” Soobin spits making hoshi laugh.

He feels you squeezing the life out of him, a clear sign you're about to cum. “Don’t you think about it baby.” he says, making you groan as he pulls out. He pushes you to your knees and cums on your face with  a groan. 

You look up at him with his cum covering your face and smiles. “So pretty like this, baby.” making you smile along with him.

He pulls his pants up and walks over to the boys bending down to Soobin. “Don’t think about trying some shit like this again. I’m not as nice as my dear Y/n, I’ll fucking kill your bitchass.”

“Let's go baby.”

[the-bonfires-ember]

ok so this has a lot of facets so bear with me. standard disclaimer that this is all based on my personal experiences as a narcissistic sociopath; im not a professional and i dont speak for everyone.

anyway.

firstly, yes we do. i think prosocials/egotypicals do it too to an extent but for different reasons and in different ways.

from an aspd perspective, i get annoyed at people and it is no longer to my benefit to stick around them, ill just disappear in a classic ghosting style. frankly i never get to this point anymore because ive managed to surround myself with people i very rarely if ever find annoying. in the past, when ive befriended people and then theyve frustrated me or ive just generally found them annoying for some reason, ive either slowly extricated myself if i could keep getting stuff out of the person or just totally destroyed the relationship so that they stopped reaching out and i could stop expending energy into dodging them. in my head if someone has pissed me off, it means that its going to keep happening and theyve just finally shown me their true colours so i might as well get out now or detach myself so im not going to emotionally invested enough to get annoyed again in the future. essentially this means i stop caring about them at all. as for how fear factors in; it goes a pretty long way back into people being fundamentally untrustworthy and only beneficial in as much as i can get from them. if im putting up with more than im getting out of it, id just walk away because everyone is out for themselves and of course that applies to me too. thats the way ive been taught the world works, and if im not getting any emotional backlash for doing that, why wouldnt i? it just makes sense. im fundamentally out for myself because no one else has been there to help when i needed them in the past.

from an npd perspective, if someones annoying me its likely because i am thinking of myself as being vastly superior to them and find the annoying quirks of them to be proof of their inferiority. the fact that theyve disagreed with me or fought me on something means they dont have the degree of respect and admiration for me that they should. this usually leads to me discarding them out of frustration and ill push them away by just showing less and less interest in them, or the ways i would that i mentioned above. the fear here, as you may be able to guess, is being wrong and being weaker/worse/unworthy. for me, being right and being more esteemed than my peers was a matter of survival in my childhood, and now if someone is starting to chip into the veneer or perfection ive built and maintained they have become a threat and i have to separate before they see too much and i lose everything.

now i dont know why you - orginal messager - asked this question, or why anyone else might be looking for this informatio. i can come up with a few guesses though, so im gonna add a couple things that applies to prosocials and other things that apply to antisocials and narcissists. but ill tuck that away so you can ignore my advice if you want to and just take the analysis.

prosocials - if you have a friend with either of these personality disorders and they are beginning to withdraw theres a choice before you. firstly, you can let them. you can recognise that this person doesnt want to associate with you anymore for whatever reason and allow yourself to be at peace with that. im sure it hurts, especially after what ive said about my reasons for doing this, but if you think you are better off just letting this one go, i support that and encourage you to just slip away with a clean break.

the other option you have, if you want to try your best to keep that person with you, is to address it plain as day. its uncomfortable, yes, but try not to be confrontational. a simple 'hey, ive noticed you distancing yourself and withdrawing and i wanted to check in and find out why and whether or not we can resolve this'. perhaps its cold of me to ask this of you, im not entirely certain one way or the other. but you deserve to try and make it work if thats what you want, and the only way that happens is by addressing the problems and really, truly understanding that the behaviours we exhibit come from a place of fear and the memory of pain. they are trauma disorders. and while trauma does not excuse harmful behaviours it does no one any favours to ignore that its the root of the problem. maybe your friend will brush you off, thats true. they might not be ready to look deeper and thats their right. at which point youve done all you can and now you need to prioritise yourself. but maybe youll make your friend reevaluate, maybe they want to heal. and you can be such a huge part of that by just asking the questions and really listening to the response. its hard work, i know, but i will always be so grateful for the people who made me stop and look at myself and really see.

the third choice is you pretend its not happening and just wait to see if they get past it and come back. they might, its not implausible, but to me this feels like inviting yourself to be treated poorly again later when symptoms flare again and those fears react to something you dont understand or know about.

pwASPD and/or NPD - im not going to try and tell you that you owe it to the people around you to recover. im never saying that. recovery is your decision and it should only be for you. i chose recovery because i wanted to see what i wasnt able to before, and it has been so fucking hard. but id do it again in a heartbeat. its important to note though that i got lucky. really really fucking lucky, and id be doing you a disservice if i pretended otherwise. on that note, here is my advice for those who want to get better and those who dont:

if you dont, if you dont want to see the fear that is reacting to the perceived threat, if its still too painful to look at, just dont. let yourself be blind to it and find comfort in the ways you can. its not cowardly, and its not pathetic. sometimes forcing yourself to stare into a fire is more damaging than its worth, and you are the only one who can decide if it is or not. only you know how close to that fire you are. perhaps its better to distance yourself from this person even if its just for now, or perhaps its better to leave entirely. it depends on how uncomfortable you feel. but i suggest figuring it out quickly and saving yourself the trouble that will come if you string someone along for too long. its always blown up in my face eventually, for what my experience is worth, so deciding on your next move sooner than later saves you a lot of trouble. but perhaps the perks are better than the blow up later on. who am i to say.

if you do want to recover though, firstly, give yourself some credit. the way you are reacting is because this has kept you alive and safe this long, dont let yourself forget that. you arent ridiculous or pathetic or cowardly or whatever else your brain might be saying you are. you are alive, and you are deciding to grow past your trauma and the responses youve learnt to cope with it and thats fucking huge. dont forget it. now the first thing you want to do is really look at what is making you uncomfortable. something is, but itll take some digging. these survival methods run deep, and tracing back to the root of the issue will take time and a lot of work and so much fucking courage. its not easy, im not going to lie, but you can do it. you are worth the time and the work it takes to get the things you want for yourself. find out whats messing with you and see how you can resolve it, either by discussing it with your friend and letting them support you or just rationalising it with yourself. understand that you are able to keep yourself safe, you just have to figure out what you are afraid of being vulnerable to. youre going to be ok, and for the record, im really proud of you.

obviously to everyone: do whatever the fuck you want to forever. im not here to tell you to change your entire life just because i say you should, even im not that egotistical. im just offering my experiences and observations, its up to you what you do with them.

[polyamorousmood]

Thoughts on dating a mono person as a poly person?

My gf, s, is mono n im poly. When we first started dating i had already been dating another poly person, x. S was uncomfy with the poly aspects but said she didnt mind dating me while i was dating x so long as i didnt really talk about it to her, ig since i was dating x first.

X and i didnt work out for separate reasons and me and s are still together, but she is 100% mono, and im not.

Ik we wont be together forever bc were quite young and the chances of that are slim, plus i dont think id want to marry someone i started dating so young (which she knows and more or less agrees with me about). So ik the "problem", if it even counts as one, isnt permanent.

I enjoy me and s's relationship but the poly-ness of me are like "but new and different ppl too please?" I like variety, and have interests that she doesnt enjoy (like kink especially). Theres no one in particular im interested in rn outside of s, but if there were to be she wouldnt like it or be comfortable with me acting on it...

Idk if it would come down to "be poly with other ppl or be mono with me", but idek how to broach the subject with her or if i even should rn since it's not yet relevant.

Sorry for the rant lol, what do you think?

Bluntly, I think you're stressing too much for a relationship that already has an expiration date lmao

If its something you think you'd like for the time frame you're with S, I think its reasonable to be like "I'm not looking right now, but if I did meet someone else I wanted to date, how would you like to handle that? Would you still just not want me to mention it?" but it is likely to be an EXTREMELY uncomfortable conversation if it was a don't-ask-don't-tell policy with the last person. I would stress that its not a big deal right now, but if something ever came up, you'd want to handle it in the best way possible to not accidentally hurt S. Try to get ahead of how you think S might react to this conversation. Whether that's "I don't mean to make you insecure, but I just wanted to make sure we're clear about...." or whatever, but if you're going to say something, acknowledge going into it that it will be hard for her.

I generally think any style of relationship can work, given the right people and common understanding. It is very hard to reach an understanding with someone who isn't able to frankly discuss the situation, but I've seen workarounds, so 🤷‍♂️

Just live your life. If you're as young as you're making yourself sound, you're gonna fuck something up somewhere along the line, and that will be okay. Do what you can, with the energy and knowledge you have, and that will have to be enough. Even if it wasn't "right".

[natsmagi]

Hey there! Just a general question. Your account is rated 16+ and you're all about it, but kind of frequently post softcore porn and revealing art (a lot of chest groping, sexualized outfits, etc). You've advertised your 18+ poipiku and just limited it to followers only with no additional passwords, but that also permits your followers who are minors to see. Just asking of why do you need the engagement from 16 and 17 year olds? (and of course younger, of not being a priv acc, because many below that follow you) I’m just curious! Is it that hard to make your accounts 18+ and block minors and people with no age in bio?

hello! the 16+ on my profile is more of a content rating, NOT a desired audience rating. in my eyes i had always viewed warnings such as 16+ to be for raunchier stuff but nothing explicit, and 18+ to be for the explicit stuff, so i had just made the assumption that since my stuff is raunchy and not explicit itd make sense to slap a 16+ content warning on my page. however this topic is rather nuanced, and you can argue some of my art treads too closely to being "explicit," so, if i am wrong on this, im more than willing to update my abouts. this account has only ever been a place for me to share my art, and i havent really stopped to think about who might be watching enough as i generally try to avoid thinking about these accounts as much as i can. and for that negligence i do apologize

as for the poipiku stuff; i created it so id have a place to post nsfw stuff without flashing people with it. i always state on the post that it is 18+, indicating i do not want those younger to be interacting with it. i cannot control what my audience does or doesnt do, nor do i have any way to tell if im being lied to or not when it comes to ones age. i like to avoid using my art tumblr and art twitter as much as possible, so if i were to add a password it would still be something easy to crack that minors may still disrespect. i made it followers only so my stuff wouldnt spread further and to minimize its reach

either way, my art accounts are predominantly places for me to simply post my art and, on occasion, my thoughts. i do not use my art accounts as a hangout place or somewhere to socialize, and i avoid checking my followers alot because i dont wanna obsess over numbers and an audience for my own sake. i am not always on this account, and i barely touch my art twitter at all, i dont really know everything thats going on and whats happening as i try to keep to myself and stay in my own little bubble.

i understand what youre getting at, and if you think there are better ways for me to go about keeping minors safe online then im more than willing to hear it out. please note though that this account is not my entire life. this is not where i spend most of my time. i have other things i need to do, thus i do not have time to monitor every single person who interacts with me. this accounts sole intent is to simply share what i make, and i hope that those too young to interact will respect that its not for them, because at the end of the day theres truly only so much i can do.

you are making this sound predatory when its just me being overly avoidant of interacting with others, which by proxy has lead to me giving lackluster precautions which is worthy of criticism on its own. you dont need to make it into something bigger. i agree that i probably couldve set better boundaries, but at the end of the day i dont use these accounts alot and i try to mind my own business, because frankly i dont like having alot of eyes on me. but the negligence of my accounts is definitely an oversight on my end, so for that i do apologize. i had added the 16+ rating before i started posting raunchier stuff, and its kinda snowballed since. so either way it likely is time for an update

[athiestpaladin]

my thoughts on who the Wheeler in question is that consists of very repetitive points that just about everyone else has said already

Holly: She was recently recasted, but this could also be so she could be more involved in the disappearance of her family member. Frankly i'm hoping it's not her; it'd be soo fucked considering she would be even younger than Will was

Karen: Had a poster in season 4 although she had maybe the least importance s4 than any of the other seasons?? [s1 and s3 she was there for Nancy and Mike, and s1 she was somewhat involved with the lab's search for El. I can't remember s2, though] So she may have a big role in s5, whether it be in Joyce's position or Will's (I'm leaning towards Joyce)

Mike: not the right amount of letters, but i wouldnt put it past them to go for a lil silly trick. There is a lot going around about him being hurt in the upside down, and while it may be due to him disappearing, it could also be from him trying to save someone else mentioned. I hope it's him so we can see more into his mind, but i'm very doubly since he's meant to take a leader role in season 5 (unless the disappearance is an episode or two at most) [Edit: Vecna harming Mike would deeply affect both of the people he seems to be most after; Will and El]

Nancy: She was given a vision by Vecna, meaning she's already had a run in with him. While this could make it more likely for her to have another run in with Vecna, I think it means the opposite. She was let go very quickly and more or less harm free (if you dont count the mental damage of her seeing her family dead.) This makes it seem like Vecna had clear intentions of, in a way, just playing mind games with her, and will probably leave her somewhat alone since he already inflicted her with something that will stick with her (and possibly drag her down.)

Ted: absolutely not. he wasn't even mentioned when nancy was explaining her vision about her family being hurt. wrap it up.

The most likely characters are Mike and Holly, but I don't really think one is significantly more likely than the other

edit: This Post has changed my mind; it probably will be Holly (I still need a lil view into the Mind of Mike Wheeler

++I heard there are 5 asterisks in the title because the original leak said "blank wheeler" I don't know how true it is but its a cool lil fact if it is

[a-bad-case-of-the-stephs]

Do you think tim's current treatment of steph via dumping her in the callous way he did and ghosting her makes him another one of men who treated her badly and abandoned her?

Hi! Thank you so much for asking a question, I love questions!

Personally, on a meta level, I felt like Stephanie was long overdue to stop dating Tim. While their relationship can certainly be cute and I’m not like entirely against it, it tends to hold her back as a character. When she dates Tim she is ends up being put her in situations where she’s being written solely to create drama in Tims life, which is just horrible for her as a character.

I thought it was a strange choice to just.,.. not show their breakup. We only find out they broke up in the Urban Legends arc of issues which introduce Tim Drake as bisexual. This choice really links Tim drakes coming out with his break up with Steph. This from a meta level makes their break up all about Tim, and what’s most convenient for his character. This is something that, as discussed, happens to Steph a lot, she’s a prop in his narrative. In that way, their break up disappointed me. Personally, I would have preferred it if she has dumped him (for reasons unrelated to his bisexuality of course).

But those are meta complaints, from a story point of view, what we know about their breakup is fairly limited.

For instance, we don’t actuallly see Tim break up with Steph (at least in any comic I’ve heard of or read), so I don’t think we can say whether or not Tim broke it off in a callous manner. The treatment of Steph and her relationship as an afterthought to Tim’s narrative is callous but I don’t think we see Tim the character himself act that way.

Tim avoiding Steph after their break up is a dick move, but I think how much of a dick move it is depends on how much of their history is still intact. If it’s only the new 52 stuff, they don’t have nearly as much history and avoiding your friend who is now also your ex for a bit isn’t cool or nice, but it is understandable. If their entire history is intact, it’s way worse for Stephanie and much more mean, given just how much they’ve gone through together and the sheer closeness of their bond, even just as friends. Quite frankly, I can’t keep good track of what is still decanonized and what has been reestablished.

I wouldnt hasten to assign Tim into a “bad man who hurt Steph” box. He has done loads of things which were personally hurtful to Stephanie back when they originally dated. But so did Steph. They’ve both hurt each other and they’ve both forgiven each other. And historically, they’ve both been there for eachother when no one else was.

If she had been dumped and then ignored during her pre new 52 and especially pre Batgirl 2009 i would be much less reluctant to call that out as hurtful behavoir from Tim. But, while hurtful, it doesn’t seem to affect Steph as much now, which makes sense given how her character has evolved.

Stephanie is portrayed at this point as a much more independent character who is much more secure in her identity and value as a person. As such, it makes sense that she’d very willing to forgive Tim Drake for avoiding her and move on to being friends again.

(even if this is in part because her new most useful function to the Tim Drake narrative is getting out of his way so he can date someone else)

TLDR: While I have my issues with how the breakup was handled on a meta level, character wise Tim avoiding Steph post their breakup is rude but not something which I’d strongly condemn him for. We don’t get an indication that it’s affected Stephanie to the extent that would make me take it as a serious offense. I don’t see it as behavior which would place him at all in the same category as a lot of the genuinely manipulative and abusive men in her life.

I’m absolutely open to other takes on this if anyone has any other context or nuance I missed! I’m well read on new 52 but my focus is primarily pre new 52 post crisis so It’s very possible I’ve missed something. Thanks again for asking for my thoughts!

[gin-juice-tonic]

Hey there! I have a friend who wants to write a character with OCD, but I'm worried that she might not have a fully accurate image of what it is. I don't really know many people with OCD, but if you could could you give some tips to pass on to her? Sorry if this is weird, and you don't have to answer this if you don't want to. I just thought it would be better to get information from someone who is affected by OCD than skim an article about it. Thanks again (p.s. I really love your comics!!)

This is going to go under a cut cause i wrote more than I really intended. It's very long. I put a video clip of a character who I think is a good representation in media at the end if you decide you dont want to read all of that and just skip down there.

The thing is that OCD varies a lot from person to person. My experiences arent gonna look the same as someone else's who also has it. Some people have very visible symptoms, some people have things that are still obviously ocd symptoms but would only be recognized by someone who knew what to look for, some people only have mental symptoms - you wouldnt be able to tell unless you were a mind reader. And just like any other disorder it has a range of severity.

Also not everyone's triggered by the same things. I know you said you'd rather hear from a person than an article, but I think she should look at articles that detail what typical obsessions are (Though she should go in knowing these thoughts are beyond people's control. They're sometimes extremely upsetting, and theyre of course upsetting to the person who has them. They may be very hard to read if you arent well-versed in this stuff.) In fiction I usually see perfection and contamination, but there are wayyyy more than that. Some triggers come and go even. One day I can be completely fine about something and encountering it a different day it might take me 3 months to stop spiraling about it.

An important thing that IS spread across everyone who has it is that giving into compulsions makes things worse. They are a feeling of momentary relief that can fade incredibly quickly, which is what leads people to do them over and over and over again much to the detriment of the person doing it.

There is not a lot of rhyme or reason to it. And it cannot be logic-ed with. You could be the smartest, most level headed, logical person in the world, but you cannot logic your way out of obsessive thoughts. (This usually creates an obsessive thought spiral even, which is bad and can be dangerous...)

Adding onto that, she should think hard about whether the character would know they have OCD or not. The public perception of OCD is not great. Most people dont understand what it looks like, including people who have it. And the people who do have it often feel like they cannot talk about it. (I was encouraged by a psychiatrist to never! talk about the intrusive thoughts I have to ANYONE. She sucked, but it shows the attitude that surrounds the disorder.) And whether they know or not will make a big difference in how they view themself and their mental health. Personally when I did not know I had it I was doing a lot worse mentally. A lot. Frankly it very nearly drove me to suicide. And then I found out what it was, and it helped. It didnt magically make things disappear of course, but it helped.

She also might be tempted to make the characters symptoms manifest in ways that are comedic or silly. I am not bothered by this necessarily, I think a lot of the things I do are silly and would be perceived as funny by an outsider. But if she is going to do this I ask that she makes sure she shows how frustrating and embarrassing it is for the character. If you want an example, there is a character in the show Scrubs with OCD. (Side note, Scrubs is rated TV-14 so turn back now if youre too young but)

His name is Dr Kevin Casey, though you could probably just find his scenes from looking up Scrubs OCD. He is played off as a jovial man whose disorder makes him quirky, but he is given a scene in which you can really see the toll it takes on him. One line he says "Nobody's supposed to see this" hits especially hard.

So if that was too long and you didnt read most of it the number one important thing I'd personally ask is however inconvenient this characters OCD is going to be to everyone else Id like her to make sure she shows that its a million times more inconvenient to the person who has it.

[meanbossart]

I've been really enjoying your fic and it got me curious about how your campaign went??? I got the important parts (your Durge denied Bhaal, Shadowheart spared nightsong I think, Astarion obviously didn't ascend) but what else happened? Will we ever see any of the other companions?

Thanks for enjoying the story! I can say with pretty much certainty we won't be seeing any other canonical characters from the game, Jaheira, Minsc and Halsin would have stayed behind in Baldur's Gate, as well as Wyll. My Durge killed Lae'zel early in the game and Karlach also died at the end of my campaign.

Gale's character decided to go after the crown, and while he was the staple fourth member of my party the relationship had always been uh... Tense. This was before they apparently patched out how needy he was, but frankly it made for a really interesting story since i just kind of assumed his character was kind of a creep wearing a nice-guy's face. Also, to be fair, I DID fall for his "wanna see a magic trick" line but that just kindled the fire to my theory that he's actually a fairly manipulative person (and perhaps he's unaware of it). MIND YOU PLEASE that this doesn't mean i don't like his character - honestly i feel like I got a REALLY interesting side of him in my campaign and i wouldnt have it any other way - this was a party composed of the dark urge, Astarion, Shadowheart and GALE and to have us all turn down power and glory only for the goody-two-shoes wizard of the camp to turn kinda evil and power-hungry made for a really satisfying narrative.

... Sorry i ended up rambling about Gale LOL to actually answer the rest of your question, my campaign went like this:

I made a Fighter, champion sub-class, BIG hulking drow because i thought it would be funny. Because i went in blind I started off as a confused homicidal murderer who is a liiiittle weirded out about his urges but he doesnt stress TOO much about it. Is fairly standoffish and distrusting toward all of his companions which made for a weird start. Motivated by gold, killing things, getting this worm out his head and making off-color jokes. Ends up siding with the Tieflings because i also decided that, as a very hedonistic character who thinks we should be lunatics because we want to rather than because a cult is telling us to be, my durge would profoundly hate the absolute. As a male drow he also really hated Minthara so yeah, easy choice there. As mentioned above, I also killed Lae'zel when she tried to murder-suicide everybody.

I wasn't going to fuck anyone, believe it or not, so during the tiefling party i went with Gale because it SEEMED like he just wanted to show me something neat (it ended early because i failed his checks and i guess he can't get hard unless i can cast fireball). Also, at this point even though i made mostly "good" moral choices i *was* still a dick the whole time - despite this, everyone in camp wanted to fuck me BESIDES Astarion, which was so fucking funny and devastating that I decided my Durge would, from that moment on, turn on the charm and the flattery and make it his mission to bang him. So yes, they were manipulating each other. I don't have to explain why that made for a really really fun little dynamic. Also Astarion had to tell me he was a vampire through dialogue instead of biting me and i got to say "yeah duh" which was hysterical.

I finally banged him sometime during the underdark (didn't go to the creche at all) and during Act 2 I followed the same pattern of doing mostly the Good Thing while being arrogant the whole time, I fell into a kind of chaotic-neutral/true-neutral aligment and watched my little homicidal maniac cluelessly stumble his way into a hero's journey. I had also really grown to like Shadowheart at that point after having a really negative first impression of her character and she basically became my durge's best friend. Astarion also grew on me for all the reasons we know and love and he did his confession to me sometime in late act 2. I Never met Araj (though i think i mention her in the fan story only because her interaction is interesting) so I got the dialogue that isn't prompted by her encounter. I also had to "break up" with Gale at this point which boy that sure came as a surprise to me! I also didnt break the shadow curse.

Because I didnt kill isobel (Again, my guy didnt like people telling him what to do or not to do), my little butler guy made me wanna kill Astarion. I SWEAR this happened pretty late in game, maybe even in the first night in baldur's gate which i realize is unusual. Naturally I didnt and I decided that would be the turning point where my Durge decides to not just Go With The Flow of things but actively fight his urge and pursue its root cause. He tried to be more of a good person from that point on which was kind of a clumsy effort lol

He completely antagonized the emperor immediately upon him revealing his true identity, stole the orphic hammer from Raphael's house, betrayed Gortash after setting an "alliance" with him, killed Orin (she kidnapped the orphan and killed her in front of me because i failed the check :| ) stopped Astarion from ascending and helped Shadowheart kill everyone in the house of grief, i let her make her own choice regarding her parents and she decided to kill them. I also encouraged her to not immediately align with the Selunites just because of her past.

I got Astarion the thing that helps him read the necromancy book and i cannot tell you how satifyins it was that, after giving up unspeakable power by killing Cazador, that dude and his little ghoul army basically mauled Orin and her grandad for me practically by themselves while I was down on the floor with 1 health. PROUD OF YOU BUDDY.

Gale spoke to Mystra as well at some point and i swear I NEVER encouraged that guy to take the crown for himself. It was always either "do whatever you want" or "i think thats a shitty idea." At this point my Durge was super sick of him so they had a bit of a crappy relationship which may have something to do with how things turned out.

I betrayed the emperor, released Orpheus and when he asked if any of us wanted to be a mindflayer i went "Fuck No" big time and luckily the guy just did it for me. Chaos ensues, I kill the emperor and the absolute in an epic battle that took me like a whole day. I also killed Orpheus when he asked me to. Karlach died ( :c ) and Gale told me he was gonna fuck off to get the crown. In the final Astarion dialogue I told him we would find a way to get him to walk under the sun again.... AAAAAnd thats it i think? Man this game is huge lmao i swear i wasnt trying to be long-winded.

[cartoonrival]

ok + for goodness' sake sasuke so that the screenshot takes up less space

1)parallels between naruto/sasuke and naruto/kawaki. i think honestly carrying over and actually bringing attention to the love-obsession thing that was going on sort of mostly unaddressed in the original series (in terms of no one called naruto as insane as they frankly shouldve) has the potential to be very interesting, especially because bringing it into the sphere of a father-son relationship rather than a platonic/romantic one is not really something i've seen before, along with the fact that kawaki doesn't actually know naruto much at all, making this very much an idolization of an idea of the person who saved you, someone who can do no wrong and is so without flaw. it was what this dude said:

like kawaki's obsession is weird and emblematic of how he grew up. also, the way that both of them sort of end up treating the other like a thing to be protected or owned or passed around, kawaki trapping him in time prison with zero regards for the fact that no one wants to be in time prison, and naruto's famous "give sasuke back/dont talk about sasuke like you own him in front of me/i'll get sasuke back/ill break your legs if i have to", there is the dismissal of actual personal wants However.

kawaki does this because he thinks that naruto's life is worth more than anything ever, and the reason he thinks this is because he thinks naruto is the most perfect person in the world and the only one who can save the world from evil. in naruto's case, even though he has a habit of possessiveness, sasuke is very much still a person to him, someone he violently and desperately wants to be close to. he doesnt think sasuke is perfect or can do no wrong, he just doesnt really give a fuck what wrong things sasuke does because he loves him too much and wants him too bad to ever hold anything against him. anything sasuke does is understandable and forgivable. naruto wouldnt put sasuke in time prison to protect him because then they couldnt hang out, and he knows sasuke wouldnt want that anyways. while i think naruto's obsession is insane, its more possessive than dehumanizing, which is def the angle kawaki is taking. again, i think this could be interesting if it was expounded upon but i dont think anyone in boruto is enough of a character for this actually do be pulled off in any satisfying way.

2)boruto/kawaki vs naruto/sasuke. i think honestly i just dont really have it in me to even act like kawaki and boruto have a dynamic that even comes close to the bullshit naruto and sasuke have going on, but if i were to attempt to explain why i dont think this is the case than i think at least part of it (beyond the fact taht ever character in boruto is painfully undercooked) is that boruto and kawaki's bond is based almost entirely around both being marked by karma. like they become friends sort of on a more surface level same way boruto is friends with anyone else, but its definitely not the same as naruto and sasuke's inexplicable pull towards one another since they were kids. even though kawaki has like sort of stupid convoluted internal strife going on, boruto doesnt honestly have enough inner issues to even shadow the bizarre knot that is sns. boruto and naruto both didn't want to kill their wayward friends because it's hard to kill someone you care about, i don't think that reads as a strong parallel because its like . what kind of story would it be if boruto was just like Okay lets kill him... now! also if kawaki dies naruto stays trapped im p sure so if he kills kawaki he is also functionally killing his dad

3)naruto and sasuke are both terrible parents but sasuke is leagues leagues leagues worse and he sees boruto has his son more than he will ever see sarada as his daughter. to him, she is his daughter because that is the only way she should have the sharingan. he can't really stand being around her and any interaction he has with her is out of guilt. boruto is his son because boruto is naruto's son

4)why did they bring up that jiraiya might get resurrected and then just drop it or is this me forgetting since i watched boruto 6+ months ago

[hyper-jam]

Neurodivergent related SecurityWaiter/DreamTheory headcanons because I am so autism abt them 🫶🫶🫶

-Mike has autism, Ness has autism and ADHD/AuDHD

-Mike is hardcore on the social related things. Doesn’t like eye contact and will either make way too much or way too little, his responses in conversations tend to be blunt and dry, he doesn’t enjoy small talk, he very much likes communication to have a point and to get to said point quickly, he only really talks more if it’s something he’s interested in/knows a lot about, he’ll actively say or do rude things without realizing or intending to (quite often in fact), he’s generally seen as kind of off putting, etc.

-Ness on the other hand is very social. They may be a little weird and struggle with social cues but they’re a hardcore extrovert and a huge theater kid so people just think he’s kinda quirky and leave it at that. He never stops yapping, knows a lot about a lot and makes sure everyone knows (in an info-dumpy way, not a condescending way) and generally loves learning about people. He is often seen as quite annoying by a lot of peoples standards, but many people also find him charming (Mike falls down the pipeline from one to the other lol)

-Mike is a subtle stimmer. Lots of stuff that might get him clocked as anxious at most but other than that most people don’t even notice. Lots of nail biting, skin picking, hair touching, face scratching, leg bouncing, squeezing his hands, rubbing his temples, rubbing his clothes, cracking/popping parts of his body (knuckles, neck, etc.) stuff like that

-Ness is usually also a pretty subtle stimmer, but has more noticeable stims way more often than Mike. Theyll click/tap pens, mess with the strings on their apron, fidget with their pins, run their hands through their hair, adjust their clothes, talk a lot with their hands, hum and sing and quote things, tap their fingers together, rock on their feet, generally swaying their weight, pacing, fidgeting with their face (poking their own face, chewing on their lips and cheeks, pulling on their lips, rubbing their eyes, etc.), little random dances, bouncng, hand flapping, etc.

-Mike experiences shut downs and meltdowns fairly often. He's incredibly stressed and tired all the time so frankly why wouldnt he. He'll get even quieter and more blunt than usual, he'll stim more, he'll try to be alone, he'll lash out a bit, etc. it usually takes him at least a couple hours to recover

-Ness experiences meltdowns somewhat often as well, though he doesnt really get shutdowns. His meltdowns are usually caused by simple overstimulation and they often result in a lot of rambling, more stimming, generally anxious behavior, sometimes snapping at people depending on the situation and how bad it is. He’s fairly good at calming himself down all things considered, but can easily be a bit over the top and kinda fall into the stress

-Usually the kind of thing that would make him full on shut down is social rejection. For multiple reasons, he doesnt handle social rejection very well, so on the somewhat rare occasion he picks up on the subtle hints of it or someone is direct with him about it, he’ll get insecure, quiet, fidgety, shaky. He's usually pretty good at putting on a face but he'll need to take a minute to kinda reset himself, usually via listening to music and mumble singing to himself while tapping his fingers or fidgeting with his clothes or something

-part of previously mentioned headcanons about how they hug and cuddle a lot and are also generally kinda clingy has to do with them stimming together. Mike loves a good pressure stim, so hugging or cuddling Ness can provide that easily. Ness loves things like playing with Mike’s hair and hands and face, just generally kinda fidgeting with his body. They’re huge on body doubling and parallel play, they like just generally being together cause they feel like they can be themselves around each other without any worries (for the most part lol) stuff like that

-they both have their comfort items, but Mike’s are usually a bit more subtle, like clothing or headphones or maybe smth Abby’s given him, while Ness’s are usually a bit more…strange lmao. Random trinkets and paraphernalia, stuff related to his many hyperfixations, some random piece of trash that’s been in his pocket too long, etc. /hj

-overall Mike is very quiet, overstimulated, blunt autism and Ness is very quirky, a bit too much, all over the place, never stops yapping AuDHD, and they can certainly clash at times but they definitely learn how to balance each other out

-idk what else to say rn lol but ill make more parts if i think of anything else 🥱🥱🥱

[steelycunt]

sorry if you’ve answered this i’m new to your blog 😓 i absolutely adore your writing and am in awe of not only your prose but how you write dialogue??? do you have any tips for writing dialogue? you genuinely make it sound so natural

hi love!! thank you so much!! writing dialogue is super fun for me so this is a lovely lovely compliment : ^ )) in terms of tips:

the biggest and simplest one i can think of is to say the dialogue to yourself. you might not speak the way your characters do but in terms of making the dialogue sound natural the best place to start is to write it the way you would say whatever it is youre trying to convey! because at least then its piece of dialogue that sounds something at least one person in the world would say, instead of something that no one would say. any alterations you need to make for it to fit the character can then go after : ^ )

people do not generally talk in clean sentences! obviously theres a balance to be struck between making it believable and making it readable but most people when they speak will at some point stutter or repeat words or use fillers like um or er or uh or start a thought one way and break off to finish it in another or not finish it at all, especially when they are talking about something that is uncomfortable or difficult. putting a bit of that in your dialogue is an easy way to make it sound more natural and also great for distinguishing between characters who may be more nervous/particular about the way they word things and thus more likely to stutter or reword sentences halfway through and those who may be more confident/less worried about how their words are received and so might not chop their sentences up as much.

i suppose this one is a bit particular depending on where you're from and where your characters are from but making an effort to use different slang and word choices for characters who are from different places gives them a more distinct voice! i love to use british slang in my writing i think we have such great slang and it helps ground the characters in their setting a bit, but at the same time a character from london does not sound the same as a character from yorkshire or from glasgow or from swansea. characters from different backgrounds (e.g. class) generally speak differently + the more you can incorporate that the more authentic their dialogue will be and the less they'll all sound the same : ^ ) it can be jarring when characters who are supposedly from all over all seem to speak in general American-Internet talk...no british person speaks like an american!! Do not let the internet turn you into an American!!

lastly + in a similar vein i think the biggest thing that i find makes dialogue seem unnatural in stuff i read is like. the tendency to write characters talking as if theyve just graduated from the Tumblr School of Unproblematic Discourse so as to make them seem 'unproblematic' (a whole other issue within itself) regardless of their background or setting or the fact that nobody speaks like that. I've read characters particularly around the issue of like sexuality and identity talk in these paragraphs that are so stilted (and frankly cringy!) that they read as if theyve been word for word lifted from some long tumblr discourse post on the topic. they all use the very latest and most unproblematic language and repeat phrases like they are talking in tweets or a 2014 tumblr be gay do crime 20k note textpost. people just do not speak like that and they do not need to!! they do not need to speak like a tumblr textpost to be unproblematic. they also do not need to be unproblematic at all. i think this links back to the first bullet point really in that if it does not sound like speech you can imagine anyone actually saying, out loud, off the top of their heads, its probably because they wouldnt and you're better off conveying that sentiment in a more casual way. Do not let the internet turn you into the internet!!!

thats all i tend to bear in mind myself when writing dialogue i think!! sorry for rambling but hopefully something in there might be useful for you : ^ ))

[determinate-negation]

https://www.tumblr.com/arandomshotinthedark/736993951241928704/its-slide-69-theres-several-slides-of-concern ..are they purposely not getting the point??? does that not show that young people also want jewish ppl to be safe?? am i reading it wrong?

first of all this poll was done with a sample size of 2000 people and it doesnt specify how many of them were 18-24 but i imagine it wouldnt be more than half of the total sample size so theyre basing these statements off the results of what maybe less than 1000 said they think in an online poll. no one should be drawing any grand conclusions from this. this is your brain on positivism. so honestly this garbage isnt even that relevant. but anyways, op of this post is assuming that israel not existing = kill all the jews, so i dont respect their opinion and i disagree. so theyre purposefully reading it how they want idk. if you look at the other questions they have in the survey, you can see other people wanting jews to be safe, as you said, and the way the questions are framed in this poll is quite frankly ridiculous, its just obviously biased and already on a lot of anti-left wing and zionist assumptions. for example right wing political movements are not even an option here. anyways if you see people acting hysterical about polls with small sample sizes and biased phrasing i just ignore it personally