#and i wouldn't say i necessarily recommend doing this but it's made me a lot happier and changed how i relate to my interests

[kopw]

kind of sad that blocking a bunch of people isolates me from broader community events however i'd much rather keep my online feed pleasantly surfable no matter what. and i can just make my own things. which is exactly what i've been doing

[genericpuff]

Hey Puff,

I'm someone who has always struggled with how to do research "correctly," but have lurked around the community enough to know RS had a real tendency for… not doing enough. Do you have any recommendations, not necessarily specific to Greek mythos, on how to just do research? Is Wikipedia even a good jumping off point?

Thanks!

Biggest thing, at least for me, is being thorough! The reason a lot of folks tend to side-eye Wikipedia as a "source" isn't just because it's relatively easy for anyone to edit, but also because Wikipedia itself is a library of sources and not the source itself.

Wikipedia can be a perfectly acceptable jump off point, as long as you're actually jumping to the places it can lead to - and you can do that through References.

Let's use the Wikipedia entry for Persephone as an example.

Sourcing "improperly" through Wikipedia would be to simply source directly from one of the sentences listed here and calling it a day. No further digging on where the excerpt comes from, no cross-referencing with other material, just reading the part on Wikipedia that says she was a vegetation goddess, slapping it into an essay or adaption or whatever, and then not confirming it further or picking apart the why of her status as a vegetation goddess through extended research.

Sooo what do we do to find that info? Let's search the word 'vegetation' and see if anything else comes up.

There we go, that has a bit more detail. And from here, we can click the little '19' at the end of the paragraph, which will take us to the References section at the bottom of the page.

Aaaand boom! Now you've got an actual source that you can dig into further, if you so choose. There isn't a whole lot that I can access of this sourced book online, but I was able to find an excerpt where the author sourced Cicero, a Roman poet and philosopher (among other things) who lived during the rise of the Roman empire:

That said, sometimes these sources aren't quite so easy to track down. That's where cross-referencing can help - but that means leaving Wikipedia!

Where this concerns a Greek goddess, let's see what we can find on Theoi, another great resource specifically pertaining to Greek / Roman / etc. deities, stories, and customs.

Though it's not quite as clickable as Wikipedia, Theoi also does a good job at outlining sources in their descriptions. Though Bennett isn't mentioned here, Hesiod and Cicero are, and wouldn't you know it, they're sourced on Theoi as well.

So there you have it! Even though Bennett is from the early 2000's, he did his own work to outline and source poets and academics whose work he was now documenting himself. This means the odds of Bennett simply making shit up are low because he sourced from the preserved works of the era he's speaking on and those works are referenced again through other resource libraries such as Theoi.

What ALL that helps with at the very least - aside from the opinions one could have about the sources themselves (Ovid 😒) - is to legitimize the research. We know without a shadow of a doubt that Persephone was attributed to vegetation and the harvest because there are so many sources across different cultures and backgrounds and generations stating it as such. It thus makes the conclusions a lot more credible, even when they're coming from a more modern source, because that source was built on their own research and sources from the Greek/Roman/etc. documents that have been preserved (and there's still new stuff being found!!!)

Obviously there are always arguments to be made about the material itself, especially when it comes to the debates over translations and cultural contexts, but actually following up on initial searches with referencing and cross-referencing is a lot more reliable and credible than simply taking something from Wikipedia and saying "I read it on the Internet."

As much as the effectiveness of Google and Wikipedia as legitimate research sources is frowned upon, they are incredibly effective, you just need to know where to look and how to find it, and most importantly - how to verify it.

And that's just the online stuff! Libraries are still alive and well! Many universities contribute to search engines like WorldCat which are designed specifically for research papers, published articles, and textbooks! Point is, the world around us is full of knowledge and resources, so the key is to learn how to navigate it so you can get the most out of it!

This is ultimately why it's so important to not restrict yourself to the first Google result - I know it's "easier" due to the convenience of it all, but you're also robbing yourself of the opportunity to really expand your knowledge beyond the summary of a targeted first result, and it runs the risk of sourcing from illegitimate sources or sources that are controlled by Google's own self-interests (protip: have a very specific problem but Googling it just gets you a bunch of automated sponsor posts and completely useless results? add 'reddit' to the end of your search, you'll get human answers from real human beings and there's always at least ONE other person who's had the same problem and posted about it to reddit LMAO seriously this one's saved my skin so many times)

And when you learn to do research the way that works for your brain? It's really, really fun. A lot more fun than public school led many of us to believe. If you learn best from talking and engaging with people, then go talk to people! Participate in groups and forums that are dedicated to the topic you're researching! If you learn best from listening to audio material, then try out audiobooks, they can often be found online through various means (🏴‍☠️) BUT ebooks and audiobooks are stocked at libraries too!

But of course, that leads us to what makes for bad research, and I obviously can't use any other example in this context than Rachel herself, whose "research" is evidently often the first recommended result that pops up on Google. And yes, I can say evidently because we've proven this when she tried to source the term 'xenia' into LO as a definition. Not only was it copy pasted to the point of still containing typos, but it was sourced plainly from a Princeton study guide that is now severely outdated - not the work that that study guide was sourcing from in and of itself.

(notice how she just sourced it as "princeton.edu" and not the specific URL that it came from)

If she really wanted to sound well-researched with the cheeky insert of the definition of xenia linking to a smart-sounding location (we're gonna ignore that it ruins the flow of the comic) then she could have sourced it from literally any of these:

But instead she did the equivalent of an 8th grader copy pasting a sentence from Wikipedia and calling it "research". It's not research. It's a lazy shortcut and it doesn't facilitate any real learning.

This can be seen in other instances as well, such as Metis' design:

As well as Leto, who I kinda think Rachel mixed up with the Full Metal Alchemist character of the same name when googling her because I can think of no other explanation as to why she's a sun goddess in LO when she has zero affiliation with the sun in the myths aside from being Apollo's mother-

(I can't prove that this is what happened but it's hilarious to think about; I'm also low key suspicious that Rachel accidentally mixed in some sources of the Métis people because Metis' design is very... Indigenous-coded 🤨)

^^^ This. This is all bad research. It's not a bad thing if Rachel's interest in Greek myth started through works like Hercules or other creative adaptions, that's actually how it starts for many of us. Where she failed was by trying to sell herself as a "folklorist" and her work as a "retelling", without actually following through in her research. She would often only do just enough to make herself seem well educated on the subject to anyone whose knowledge was as basic - or less - than hers, but not enough that it could actually hold up in a real discussion about Greek myth with other people who are more read up on it than her. Rachel's self-proclaimed "folklorist" title is only validated by the lowest common denominator of readers, who 99% of Lore Olympus ended up being made for in the end, while those who actually understood the myths deeper than their Wikipedia summaries pulled their hair out in frustration every time Rachel tried to make some sly reference to a myth or attempted to speak about it in interviews.

Comparisons aside, the best part is that this research process doesn't have to be exclusive to studying historical stuff! Writing a story that features a disabled character, but you yourself are not disabled and are worried you're going to misrepresent? Search up articles and posts that pertain to the specific disability you're trying to write; I guarantee you that there are people living with that disability offering up that information completely for free because they want to see more representation for themselves in media. Trying to learn how to draw characters of different body types / skin colors / etc. from your own? Seek out the works and advice of those who do have those physical differences and learn from them.

It's about being thorough. It's about opening yourself up to things you may have been blind to before. It's about embracing the learning experience as a positive sign of growth, not a negative sign of failure. It's about taking the opportunity to learn every time it presents itself, even if those opportunities are small and passive. A person who doesn't know is just a person who hasn't learned yet (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و

[hobiebrownismygod]

Researching Characters so you don't have to Part 3: Miles G. Morales/Prowler Miles & His Accent/Spanglish

Art above is NOT MINE. Made by Binu Herath. Click for the link <3

I'm gonna refer to him as 42-Miles throughout this!

The main thing I've seen people trying to do when writing 42-Miles is trying to write him speaking Spanglish. However, if you don't speak Spanish at home or know some Spanish already, this can be pretty difficult to do.

So how do you write a character speaking Spanglish?

First of all, not a lot of bilingual people speak one sentence in English and the other sentence in their respective language. One of the things I've seen people do in fanfictions is write 42-Miles like this:

"Estoy trabajando en este proyecto. I'm busy right now." (I'm working on this project)

They write him speaking one sentence Spanish and the next in English. Now this isn't necessarily wrong, but it also doesn't sound completely accurate. The thing is, not many people will continuously switch between Spanish and English that way, especially if the person they're talking to isn't fluent in Spanish as well. If they are fluent, I'm assuming he'd probably talk fully in Spanish, and if they aren't fluent he'd probably talk fully in English. Now if you want to write him that way, like I said, there's nothing wrong with it, but for the people who want to make him more accurate, I recommend using the tips I researched below.

Bilingual people often confuse words and phrases from their respective languages together. An example of what would be a more accurate phrase that he'd say is:

"No eso es mi fault"

Miles said this in the first movie, and this is a great example of Spanish because he doesn't remember the Spanish word for "fault" which is la culpa, so he just says fault instead.

Another example of accurate Spanglish is:

"Can you hand me the, destornillador, destornilla-...the SCREWDRIVER, can you hand me the screwdriver?"

As a bilingual person, when I can't remember a word I often say it in my other language a couple times to try to remember and then say the word once I remember it. From what I've seen, this happens with a lot of Spanish-speakers too. This also goes both ways, where if he's speaking Spanish he switches to English because he can't remember a word.

If he's talking to someone speaking English, it wouldn't make sense for him to randomly speak some sentences in Spanish and some in English, so it would be more accurate to have him confusing words together and taking a little longer to remember specific vocabulary.

This can go both ways as well, so if he's speaking Spanish to someone, you can have a little "how do you say [item], oh, you say it like [item in Spanish].", basically the exact opposite of what I did in the example above.

Words and phrases aren't the only things that get mixed up. Bilingual people also often mix up the grammar of the two languages when speaking.

Spanish has pretty similar grammar to English, but there are still some significant differences. For example, adjectives come after nouns in Spanish, while they come before nouns in English. One example of a dialogue you could have is:

"Es un bonito vestido" (Its a pretty dress)

This is grammatically incorrect, because the adjective "bonito" came before the noun "vestido" when it should be the opposite. Normally, it would be vestido bonito, but someone bilingual like 42-Miles might mess it up, because in English it would be "pretty dress", not "dress pretty".

Finally, for filler words like "but" and words like "yes" a bilingual person might say them in Spanish instead of English when speaking English.

Instead of saying "but this", 42-Miles might say "pero this" because pero means "but". If he answers a question with "yes" he might say "si" instead.

But make sure to keep in the mind that nobody who's bilingual is going to speak to someone in a language they don't understand. If you're writing a 42Miles x Reader, it wouldn't make sense for him to talk a lot in Spanish unless its an xLatino!Reader or xHispanic!Reader. A few words and phrases is understandable but you should've overdo it.

Hopefully, I got most of them. I'm not hispanic but I do speak Spanish fairly well. However, if you see any mistakes with my translations or my grammar, please feel free to correct me! It'll help me learn <3

I hope this helps anyone who wants to write 42-Miles more accurately, and remember, you can use these tips for any Spanglish-speaking/Billingual characters!

[xclowniex]

Hi! I ask this with full respect! But am I Jewish?

I’m an Armenian Jewish Israeli, and I live in the Armenian quarter of Jerusalesm. I was born to a Mizrahi Jewish father and an Armenian mother, and I also practice the Christian faith. I won’t say I’m as deep into Jewish culture as some but I have participated in throughout my life, and I do genuinely have a love for it.

I was just wondering if I would be considered Jewish because my mother isn’t Jewish and I follow a different faith that isn’t Judaism. Not necessarily on here, but I’ve talked with some more conservative Jews who wouldn’t consider me one.

I was just hoping to what your opinion was like because I really like your opinions.

Shalom!

Hi! Your asks are no problem at all, you don't have to apologize for sending a follow up ask with more context.

I did pose your ask to some friends of mine to garner other perspectives outside of just my own.

Jews will welcoming in terms of interacting with you as long as you don't proselytize or go down the messianic route, which you do not give the vibes for either of those.

Messianics are "jews for jesus" and are mainly made up of Christians with no jewish heritage claiming to be the real jews and practice a mix of appropriated judaism and Christianity.

What I think is that you are welcome to call yourself jewish on your dad's side as well, you are and you have grown up around the culture. My own journey has not been linear and neither has many jews I know online or irl. I grew up orthodox with a non Jewish mother, converted as a child, stopped practicing as a teen and explored other religions before settling on judaism, specifically reform. I may become orthodox again later, but I'm happy now with reform. Though I will start attending the orthodox synagogue Friday evening services when I move closer to it as after a 30m service I get a free dinner so why not lol. At the last monthly shabbat potluck I went to with jews around my age, there were a few jews who never grew up religious, mainly due to a similar situation where one parent was jewish, the other catholic or Christian and whilst they view themselves as atheist, they do still want to participate in the cultural aspect.

I wouldn't really just use the word "jew" to describe you as that does come with the connotations of you being either religiously jewish or secular, aka non practicing but culturally jewish, so specificity is nice, but I also wouldn't say that you aren't jewish in any capacity as that is blatantly false. If you took a dna test, roughly half of your DNA would be jewish (give or take as you might not have inherented generically exactly 50% jewish dna as dna and genetics is more complicated than an easy split).

Some other people I posed your query to would say is that you would be best considering yourself someone with jewish heritage/ancestors, because you do believe in Jesus.

The reason why I think jewish on your dad's side fits you a lot better than saying jewish heritage is people who usually say they have jewish heritage are people who like their great grandparent was jewish but converted to Christianity and their grandparents, parents and themselves never practiced judaism, both religion wise and culture wise. But that's just purely my experience with what I have seen.

I do understand why some jews would be hesitant with you calling yourself jewish as there are people who have jewish heritage either with one parent or a grandparent who act like an authority on everything jewish as well as just caution surronding messianic jews in general, but again like I've said, you don't give that vibe.

It honestly your choice and does depend on how heavily you want to associate with jewish culture as well as how much jewish culture you partake in. I will say thought that you shouldn't really mix jewish prayers with Christianity, but again, that's not the vibe I get from you.

If you do want to make a tumblr, I would recommend that you specify in your bio or pinned post that you are ethnically jewish or have jewish heritage and are Christian. Just so people are aware and don't assume you are messianic lol.

[beatingdrumspouringwine]

Words from the Gods 3 - Signs

I think signs are one of the most difficult things to navigate early on in one's relationship with the Gods. As someone who enjoys doing the occasional lurk over on Reddit, I feel like I see, at least once a day, someone on r/Hellenism saying something to the effects of "xyz happened today when I did/was doing zyx, do you think [insert God/Goddess's name here] is [insert emotion here] at me?" And I think there's a few problems with viewing signs in this way.

Don't get me wrong, I completely understand where they're coming from, especially if these people have come from a religion like Christianity, where signs are frequently seen as a bit more ominous, and searched for with a fair degree of intensity. But signs are a bit different here, both in terms of subtlety, but also in meaning.

For starters, the Gods are never trying to make our lives hard. This will probably be something I repeat a lot over this series, because it's entirely true, but also not something that I see said nearly enough! When it comes to receiving signs, generally a lack of understanding what the sign means can be connected to a lack of knowledge about the God/Goddess who might be sending you the sign. There is a combination of both "historical knowledge" and "personal knowledge" that goes into interpreting signs.

Historical knowledge simply applies to what is widely or historically known about a God/Goddess. For example, Hera is associated with peacocks because of Argos in mythology, or Poseidon is associated with horses and the sea from his own traditional attributes. It's one of those things where, if you have paid any attention to the God you are worshipping, you'll almost definitely understand what's going on, or at least who's saying what.

Meanwhile, personal knowledge applies to something which is directly communicated between you and the God that you are worshiping. For example, even though there isn't necessarily a historical connection between Dionysos and moths, He still sends me moth wings every now and then, specifically eye spots. This is because, after reading the article Riding the Phallus for Dionysos (would highly recommend if you're over 18), I found out that animals with eyespots were sacred to Dionysos, and after that, I found multiple perfectly intact moth wings, all of which had eye spots on them. So even though Dionysos has no traditional connection with moths, He still pops them in my life to remind me that He's around.

The other thing, besides knowledge, is context. This would be why the God in question is sending you a sign. Generally, you should have at least some form of general knowledge as to why They would be doing so. I've found that signs are usually just a divine way of saying "Hey worshiper of mine! I know you've been [feeling alone/asking Me for something/needing a push to do something/etc.], so here is some proof that I'm around!" Sometimes, obviously, the signs that are something like "giving you a push" are a bit vague, but it shouldn't be something so incredibly difficult to understand, you're getting stressed about it.

If signs seem to appear with no context, and no knowledge of either what aspect of the God (historical or personal) it applies to, I would do some research of your own, to start, and maybe throw out a few prayers to the Gods you're suspecting of sending you the sign. At the same time, though, I wouldn't be too concerned. Sometimes, strange things just happen in this world, as do some weird coincidences. I remember that once, earlier in my practice, my parents were coming to visit. I wasn't even worshiping Dionysos at that time, it was mainly Hermes and Hekate. I was praying to Them for a good, safe visit, and seemingly in response, there were dead frogs scattered all over the roads. This made my stress skyrocket, and I was internally panicking the whole visit. Nothing ended up happening, and in the following years, I started noticing that around that time of the year, there were always dead frogs on the road. I was living near a pond, and during the mating season, there would be more frogs, which would get drawn onto the roads, and there would just be... more dead frogs. It wasn't some kind of display that I had angered my Gods, or that something bad would happen. It was just a freaky nature thing that happened to coincide with my prayers.

To draw a conclusion in all of this, I'll say the following: first and foremost, signs can be difficult to interpret, and I'll never fault someone for struggling with it. But at the same time, getting to know a God both personally, as well as historically, is always a good way to understand the signs easier. There is also, as always, the context in which you are experiencing the sign, and if there seems to be none of that, then try to find a natural explanation.

As always, if you have any questions, please feel free to come ask me about them: my inbox and my messages are always open! (I know my writing can be vague at times - whenever I write these, I am attempting to collect my ADHD thoughts into one coherent Thing lol)

[brineffxiv]

Hi!

Er.. So. Dawntrail is imminent. I have been meaning to make this post for some time? But I procrastinated. I sort-of hoped that I would be able to catch up to my huge backlog of posts? Ah, but I suppose I should confess, I finished the game!

I loved it. It was awesome. Incredible. I cried so much.

Yeah. Kind of a poor excuse for a "liveblog" at this point, eh? So, when we last spoke... I got to the end of Elpis, and then that biiig cutscene happened. And I couldn't manage to articulate how I felt about it. Like. The first time I saw it, I was so upset and cried through the whole thing. I loved it. I hated it. I was so very angry with Venat. But I couldn't put it into words why. In the end, I was very glad I'd taken screenshots of it, and could go back through it and see it slowly, because my initial impression of what happened, turned out to not be what actually happened when I looked at it again?

I am still angry with Venat. But not necessarily for what she did in the moment, more, a collection of her actions and her overwhelming need to be in control at all times. Her mistakes were made long before the sundering, and I think at the time she did the best she reasonably could. Unfortunately, her best wasn't good enough.

BUT! These are all conclusions I should save for that post.

Which I still would like to write.

That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. See, like I said, I finished the game. But. I kept taking screenshots all the while, expecting to write posts. I had just hoped to have caught up before this point. Because as I understand it, Dawntrail will bring with it a significant graphical upgrade. And then it's not really possible to pretend that this is still a "live" blog, yeah?

And I mean, regardless, pretending it's all still "live" wouldn't be fair to you all. That'd be telling lies. And that's bad.

So how do you feel about this? When I get to writing posts I will still call them a liveblog, and I will try to write them in the mindset I was in when I first played through them. But we all know that it's not truly live.

The other option is I can just... not write the posts and quit the liveblog.

I don't know. Up to you to decide, I suppose. Do you even want to see the rest of it?

Anyway. So what happened was, I stalled out on writing that post, but I really wanted to keep playing. So I thought I'd play just a little... And, well, you know what happens with "just a little" - before I knew it I was in Ultima Thule facing down the Endsinger. And I still couldn't finish that damn post.

I did a lot of fun stuff after finishing the game!

I did all of Eureka! I cleared the Baldesion Arsenal enough times to complete 4 sets of gear and 4 Relic Weapons! I even did calls and led some of the runs through BA! It was a lot of fun! (I did it through the ABBA discord, which, while there are some lovely people there, upper management are assholes and I would not recommend sticking around long term. Use them and lose them is what I'm saying)

Then I went and did Bozja! I ran Delubrum Reginae Savage (with the Lego Steppers discord. Very well managed run. Full stars) and got my Cerberus mount. I hate Bozja! I'm not going back there! You can't make me!

I joined a raiding static and cleared EX6 when it was current! Then we cleared EX7! Then last Monday we cleared P9S! Such fun!

I joined a second raiding static! I was asked to leave the second raiding static! Because I am not very good at raiding!

Hmm... what else did I do? I maxxed out my Island Sanctuary. I got all my Blue Mage spells and completed the Masked Carnivale. I even got my umbrella! And I completed all my Splendorous Tools! I have 25 fish left to catch in the game!

I won a Medium house and decorated it. If you want to come see it some time, it's on Marilith, Mist, Ward 17 Plot 29. I filled it with secrets. And a little shrine to my favorite character (It's Emet-Selch, of course it is).

I even built a personal FC with my alt and am experimenting with subs and airships!

Speaking of alts. I may have made too many.

I did the raids (and cried), I did the tribal quests (and cried). I did a lot of crying! But it was good. It was worth it! I love this game!

I am so looking forward to Dawntrail (and I hope you are too!).

[maleyanderecafe]

Gentle Fall (Visual Novel)

Created by: Isa, Isa

Genre: Romance

This one was submitted to the #yanjam a while ago. It's pretty short with hints of yanderes, but I will say I really think the art looks really nice. It's very soft looking and really does remind me of a fall whether. That being said though, there's currently not a whole lot on it, only doing about two days or so. You can find more of their games and stories at @isattt.

The story starts with the MC (nicknamed "Person") going to college to study medicine. While going into the lecture hall, she ends up seeing another student there named Chester. While the two of them talk about their hobbies and lives, the other students come in. The two are paired up to work in the lab, but when the MC leaves, they realize that they've left their jacket in the lab. When going back, they find that Chester has left his notebook on the chair, and the MC decides to bring it back for him tomorrow. While studying and waiting for Chester the next day, the MC accidentally drops the notebook onto the floor, revealing a schedule. Looking at it for a bit, the notebook seems to mark times of the MC's own morning schedule, but is snatched by Chester before they can get a good look at it. The MC pretends to have not had a good look at it when Chester asks, but feels uneasy at what they've seen. During their lab, the professor reveals that Chester will be the new aid, and the two go to a cafe to get to know each other. The MC asks about the notebook, and Chester apologizes for coming off as creepy.

First off, I have to say that the artwork for this is really pretty. I like the more cozy atmosphere the game has and the general backgrounds are really well made. I am a huge fan of unique UIs and I really like how Gentle Fall's UI looks. It's pretty simple but it's gentle and it really does bring out the more softer and warm tones of what Autumn is idealized like, which I feel is a big theme of this game. It is interesting that there is a pretty strong lack of sound, but again, I'm not sure that's because of the state of the demo or if it's because that's the kind of feel that its going for. It is also fun when you can choose what personality the MC has (to a certain extent) since different responses might trigger different things that Chester might say. Platonic and Romantic routes also seem to be a fun plus to the game.

Because this is a demo, Chester as a yandere is very very minimal, mostly it seems so far that Chester has been tracking down what the MC has been doing and that's about it. From what I can tell, he's the type that is generally very soft and will do anything that the MC wants him to do, so if you play to be a bit meaner to him, he will likely sacrifice himself to you. That is at least what I'm getting from her tumblr, but it is a bit difficult to ask since currently not too much happens in the demo as of now. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, some games or characters works better with a more light yandere character, it just means that there wouldn't be as much to talk about for me when writing these recommendations. Again, not a bad thing, just something that I might need to clarify.

Anywho, Isa has another game that I will likely play in the future as well featuring the maid girl who was the cashier in the cafe. And spreading the love of glasses boys, which you go, Isa. Anyways, if you like the more lighter style of yanderes, please check it out.

[veliseraptor]

February Reading Recap

Monsters: A Fan's Dilemma by Claire Dederer. I didn't find a whole lot new in this book, as far as thinking through questions of how to deal with art made by people who have done things or hold opinions that one finds morally reprehensible, but it was a well-written and thoughtful probing of the subject nonetheless. I really appreciated the fact that Dederer was comfortable (or, if not comfortable then at least accepting) of coming to a place with no easy answers. rea

Stars of Chaos: vol. 1 by Priest. I'm not sucked into this one yet, but I am intrigued by it enough that I'm going to keep reading. I haven't hooked into the main relationship, and it hasn't had the same level of delightful banter (at least, as yet) that I have enjoyed in other Priest novels I've read, but I do have volume 2 sitting on my shelf and I'm looking forward to reading it.

System Collapse by Martha Wells. I find that I've liked the early Murderbot books a lot more than the later ones, and this one unfortunately continued that trend. I don't think the series has overstayed its welcome for me yet - I'll probably continue to read it, at least for now - but I find myself losing interest.

Three Parts Dead by Max Gladstone. I said I was going to reread it and I did! And it didn't blow me away in quite the same way I remember it doing when I read it the first time around several years ago, but I still really enjoyed it, and I enjoyed it enough this time around (and was still compelled enough by the worldbuilding, which I do remember being a big part of what stood out to me), that I plan to reread the rest of the series as well. But while, again, it didn't blow me away the way I remember, I would say that I generally recommend it, particularly as a fantasy that is doing some things different.

Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (Manhua): vol. 5 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu. I am only and specifically reading the volumes of the manhua that have Yi City in it, so I'm pretty much exclusively assessing this based on my Yi City feelings. And while overall I feel like the art style isn't working for me in a way that is impacting my ability to really get into it there was at least one panel that really conveyed something and made me Feel Things, so it gets credit for that. I am enjoying the experience of doing Yi City in a whole new format, though, that's enjoyable for the sheer "getting to do Yi City, again, but in a different medium this time" reason.

We Are Satellites by Sarah Pinker. I read this book for a book club I'm in and I found it rather too didactic and the ending a little too pat. The family dynamics were strongly written and I sort of feel like Pinker could've written a stronger book that was just about a family without the part about New and Suspect Technology. I wouldn't even say that I necessarily disagree with the points I think she's making in this book, but I would say that it went a little too hard and a little too obviously on making those points.

Too Like the Lightning by Ada Palmer. I liked this one and particularly as of the last...idk, five pages or so, I'm so on board for what comes next. I am promised that it gets even weirder and given that it was already fairly weird...I'm fascinated by the worldbuilding here, and the conceit of the Enlightenment-style contrasted with the future setting is a fun one. I'm looking forward to more.

Ring by Koji Suzuki. I was neither scared by this book (though perhaps I was ruined by knowing the whole thing more or less beat for beat) and did not particularly enjoy the experience of reading it, and then the part where Sadako was revealed to be...genderweird? somehow? unclear to me what the author was going for exactly, sort of tanked it for me. I probably will not be reading the rest of the series unless I get truly desperate for horror to read.

Ashes of the Sun by Django Wexler. I don't know that I'd say this was the highest quality fantasy I've read recently but it might be the new-to-me one I've liked the best in a while. It was a lot of fun, very fast-moving, and I was intrigued enough by the entire set-up that I pretty much immediately put the second book on hold at the library after finishing this one. Maybe it's just been too long since I read a new-to-me fantasy book that really grabbed me, but I liked this one rather a lot and even if it was maybe more "fun" than "good" I'm still calling that enough to give this one a loose recommendation.

[sweetsummercourier]

Hii,

Can you talk about what inspired you to create your AOT characters and why you picked Eren and Reiner for their partners? Do they have any pet peeves when it comes to their partners?

Have a great day!

Hello! I got so excited for my first ask I made little character banners for my ocs ^^ please note: I have updated Saoirse's surname

Saoirse was my very first OC in the AOT fandom when I watched it at 13 years old. Granted, I wanted to watch Claymore on Netflix, but it wasn't on Netflix and AOT was recommended as a close second so I watched it and well I just fell in love.

Now, if you asked 13 year old me about Saoirse, you would've gotten the most Mary Sue, most power broken OC ever because well, 13 year old me was in no way shape or form good at making characters.

I know in the beginning I was inspired by the Titan Shifters to make an OC, as others were doing the same. However now that I'm older and have had the time to breathe new life in Saoirse, I can say my inspiration for her was to simply make her better.

Why Eren - 13 year old me loved the angry crackhead a lot. As a youngster, all I cared about was the MC and I was hooked lol. But as an adult and having rewatched the series, that love for Eren is still there, but now that I have the power of critical thinking, I see him in a different light that I can appreciate. I'm very excited to explore their dynamic now.

Pet Peeves - Saoirse doesn't necessarily have pet peeves with him, but early on she was definitely annoyed by some things he did when they were younger. She was definitely irritated as all hell by his speeches of freedom, defeating all the titans, so on so forth. It was a sort of "okay we get it" after some time, and his loud volume for the longest time genuinely pissed her off.

Come S4, oh, what she wouldn't do to have him back...

Ghislaine is relatively new! I got Attack on Titan 2: Final Battle for the Switch like 2 years ago, and I originally played as Saoirse (as expected), but I wanted something new. So, Ghislaine was born!

At first I had no idea what to do with her, and only in the last few months did I actually start to craft her. One thing that definitely inspired me was I wanted someone who was the opposite of Saoirse. and I was inspired by the Christa/Historia thing as well.

Ghislaine is a warm and kind individual, but is equally cold, calculated, and ruthless - if not more so.

Why Reiner? - after rewatching and completing the series, I focused on the characters other than Eren, and again, gained a new appreciation for each and every character (again, critical thinking skills).

I came to deeply appreciate Reiner and his development, and I feel deeply in love with him. I think also as someone who struggles with mental illness, I was able to relate with him and find comfort in his character. I figured he would be the perfect match for Ghislaine, especially considering she is half-blooded too.

Little fun fact, Ghislaine and Reiner are a couple in all but name come season 4. Everyone knows it, but they're just not saying anything.

Pet Peeves - like Saoirse, none necessarily. If anything, the rapid deterioration of Reiner's mental and emotional state greatly concerns her. At first she sees it as a burden considering the gravity of their mission, but during the time skip into season 4, she completely changes her tune and becomes both like a caretaker and partner to him.

Thank you for the ask!! I hope I answered your questions ^^

[oblivious-aro]

Would you actually recommend Danny Phantom to anyone you know that hasn't seen it, and why? (both real people and hypothetical internet strangers alike)

Mmmmm probably not. Maybe a hypothetical internet stranger/friend who likes Fairly Odd Parents (the two shows have nearly identical flaws and strong points), or who would enjoy some specific concepts (my interest in the show definitely comes from having receptors in my brain shaped likes ghosts and super-power-slice-of-life-dramedy).

DP is one of those shows with a lot of good ideas, but as it went on those ideas tended to get neglected in favour of more tropey 2000s and superhero plots that aren't written very tightly (many people theorize this was due to more creative control shifting to the show's creator, Butch Hartman, who's work had historically perfomed worse when he was given more control over them. Maybe also some weird budget stuff).

If I had to pitch the show to someone, I'd say the main selling points would be the core concept of a half-ghost teenager who fights ghosts, which is very creative idea that they do interesting things with, and also the humour. DP's strongest selling point is that it's very funny:

"You're toast!" "Oh yeah? You and what toaster?"

“Why? So you can go back to stumbling through your adolescence, desperately trying to get control of your powers? Powers, by the way, that I've had for twenty years. I have experience, my child. And the money and power attained through using those powers for personal gain, you see. I could train you, teach you everything I know. And all you'd have to do, is renounce your idiot father!” “Dude, you are one seriously crazed-up fruit loop. That is never going to happen.”

"Yeah, yeah, very scary. The fake horse is pretty neat though. What's it made out of, flaming bedsheets?" "Flaming bedsheets of DEATH!"

"That's the ghost from the zoo!" "Danny?" "No, the other guy!"

(Looking at a floating glowing TV remote)"Do...all your remotes do that?" "No! Well, my toaster does, but it's from Denmark."

The caveats that ultimately keep me from recommending it are the frustration of watching the show decline and bungle really cool concepts, and that it's also one of those casually racist and sexist 2000s Nicktoons.

Why would you write your chatcters saying this unironically? Why... why would you do that?

The misogyny isn't always that blatant, but it is constantly felt with the way the two most prominent female characters are written (Sam frequently acts as a Hemione Granger, while Maddie is constantly has to deal with her Idiot Husband's screw ups).

And the show does occasionally hit you with stuff like this:

The racist stereotypes felt like less of a constant than the misogynistic aspects, but the show leans pretty hard into them when they do pop up.

Again, if you're familiar with Fairly Odd Parents, the two shows are pretty similar in that regard (Also seemed to be a problem in the two episodes of TUFF Puppy I've seen, specifically with the lead female character. Butch Hartman kind of sucks). Very funny shows with interesting concepts that leaned pretty hard into some stereotypes that were rough at the time, and only got worse as the shows aged.

I wouldn't necessarily disreccomend DP, but I don't tend to reccomend things unless the flaws are easy to get over, and DP is not one of those shows.

[the-hype-dragon]

Books I Read in October

Books I finished:

The Starry Rift by James Tiptree, Jr. aka Alice Sheldon - 4/5

Collection of three short stories, loosely connected by setting and the overarching theme of self-sacrifice. Much less cynical than anything in the other Tiptree collection I've read, Her Smoke Rose Up Forever (which I thought was excellent). Overall I enjoyed this, though the third story dragged in the middle. "Good Night, Sweethearts" was the only one without non-human aliens and it was also the weirdest, but I liked it the most.

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson - reread, 5/5

(I say this is a reread, but I don't think I really understood it the first time I read it, years ago.) Tragic story of repressed woman who gets possessed by a haunted house. As I was reading this I could tell Stephen King really liked it, The Shining has a pretty similar premise and conclusion. It's scary but I view it as more of a tragedy. Has two adaptations, both called The Haunting, from 1963 and 1999; I don't think either movie really does the book justice but the '63 version is worth a watch. But also: just read the book.

Chalice by Robin McKinley - 4/5

Beekeeper-turned-sorceress Mirasol saves her demesne and her love interest from evil opportunistic politicians from elsewhere. Very weird and whimsical in a way I think I've only ever seen McKinley pull off. Kind of meanders in a way I didn't like at first but once you get into the flow of the story it's easy to follow, plus that's simply how McKinley worldbuilds so I can forgive it. Ended up enjoying it but thought the resolution was a little too convenient.

Red Dragon by Thomas Harris - reread, 5/5

One of my favorite books ever. Been meaning to reread this for a while and decided October was a good month for it. Still love it. Dolarhyde's a great monster, utterly contemptible while still being sympathetic (to an extent; Harris never lets you forget what Dolarhyde has done). Another legitimately scary book. If you like thrillers I recommend just reading it since neither adaptation does it justice (though imo Manhunter is worth a watch).

Deryni Rising by Katherine Kurtz - 3/5

If I was a kid I would have unironically loved this. As an adult I found it clumsy and amateurish but I had a good time reading it. The villains are silly but great. Entertaining in the same way a Terry Goodkind book is. Kind of reminded me of Redwall and Warrior Cats. I've seen reviews that take issue with the two (lmao) important female characters but I liked both of them a lot. Wouldn't necessarily recommend to anyone over the age of 20 tho unless it was strictly to see what all the fuss is about. Kurtz has written a billion Deryni books and iirc the most recent one was published ~2014. Not sure if I will give the series another try, this first book was okay but not good enough to get me interested in the rest. Oh well.

Spindle's End by Robin McKinley - 4/5

A retelling of Sleeping Beauty. The first half focuses on the protagonist's (Rosie's) foster mother, Katriona, and the second half on Rosie herself as a young woman; heavy emphasis on female friendships and female relationships in general (mother to daughter, aunt to niece, etc.). Very funny but ends on a bittersweet note. I liked Rosie's friendship with her BFFL Peony. There is a weird age gap romance that I wasn't a huge fan of, tho I liked Rosie's love interest. I just wish he wasn't like twenty or whatever years older than her lmao. Otherwise a good book, the ending made me cry.

Books I did not finish:

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo and The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch -

Lumping these together because I dropped both of them for the same reasons: I thought they were boring and I couldn't stand any of the characters. Neither author seemed to want to let their stories do the talking and the action kept getting broken up by paragraphs upon paragraphs of info-dumping and exposition, and none of it done in a very engaging manner, either. For being marketed as exciting thrillers I didn't find either one of them particularly exciting or thrilling. I could not take any of the 2cool4me characters seriously either, both books felt very juvenile in the pursuit of being edgy and """mature.""" Also did not like the way the female characters in either were written - I dropped Lies about seventy pages in, and in all that time there was precisely one female character with a speaking role, and she was introduced just to flirt with the protagonist and so that we the readers would know what his type is, pleugh. I understand liking these books if you're a teenager going through an edgy phase but as a 30 something I didn't find either very engaging, not even in a corny so-bad-it's-good way like Deryni Rising lmao

[thelyingjoke]

mashed my 2 favorite games together because from that mere passing reference i made to the other one last week i could Not stop thinking about it. so here. danganronpa v3 crossover with dialtown: phone dating sim :)

the premise of dialtown is that everyone has an object head, with default Men having Phones and Women having Typewriters, but they can also be swapped out for any other object if someone wants to for whatever reason, like for identity purposes, disability accomodations, jobs, etc. i Highly recommend it!!! it's a very lovable and bizarre game (and i mean it when i say bizarre. just look at the description on steam) and it's only 8 dollars, as well as also having a free demo that has hours of content in it to see if you'd like it!!!!! (also a fun webquiz i got karen tell me who you got in the comments below /j) anyway advertisement over below is a lot of thoughts and art about how i think the v3 characters would fit into the world :)

the things i will do for dialtown (render a drawing)...disclaimer the characters do not Actually have faces. i just think they're cute and like drawing them :) anyway!

For Kaede, as pictured above, I think she'd have a piano keyboard head! She still plays normal piano (she's gotta get her fingers moving), but now she can play on the go! And she plays almost all the time. You can typically hear her before you see her. The music she plays often reflects her mood, and if something surprises or shocks her or something similar she plays a silly little key-slamming noise. I think that, when she had a typewriter head, she would have often been typing too, just as a fidgeting thing—but the constant dings and clicking of the keys would have been too loud and annoying to others, and it would waste a lot of paper. So she got a piano head instead! It suited her a lot more and was more bearable to be around! Not only that, but now she can also play piano duets by herself (though she sometimes thinks it feels lonely and wrong to be the only one playing a song meant for two).

i started to get tired after that drawing so i didn't do many others, and rantaro was the only other one i shaded, so i will talk about him next!

Rantaro changed his head to a GPS shortly after his first couple of sisters went missing and he dedicated himself to adventuring in order to find them. I think his old head was a smartphone, since his family is rich it would be a status symbol, but while it did have more functions and would certainly house a GPS within itself, it would also be much harder to repair, thus where the status symbol part comes in. He could afford the healthcare fees required to repair it if it ever got damaged, certainly, but if he were ever caught in a tough bind he wouldn't necessarily be able to get to any medical professional skilled enough to handle it. So he switched it out for an older model of a GPS, to make any repairs that would need to be done much easier, and maybe even possible to do on himself if he had to. Some of his sisters would put stickers on his head. Most of them are faded and breaking away now, but he won't ever take them off.

i was running out of energy at this point so this and one other thing are the last things i drew (though i still have lots to talk about!)

Let's talk about the silly goober on the right first :) It's The Guy!!! D.l.C.E. in this universe stands for Dialtown league of Clown Enthusiasts (the I is secretly a lowercase L). They are a secret group of people that believe in clowns and plan to bring them back from extinction by participating in clown activities themselves. Their current mission is obtaining enough money ($4) in order to hopefully summon Frongles the Clown to them (by calling him on the phone). Nobody believes them yet, but Kokichi is certain that they will soon. He would love to masquerade as an evil supreme leader and cause mischief all around town, which he does, but unfortunately for him those roles are already both fulfilled by two other people (Mayor Mingus and Little Billy), and no one likes a copycat. His main concern right now, aside from the clown thing, is simply to entertain people in the best ways he can. Pretty much anyone who lives in Dialtown would need that. If he can make people smile (metaphorically), that's the greatest success he can hope for.

And now for the fella on the left! That is Gonta! His head is a candlestick telephone, like Abel—similar to Rantaro, it's a status symbol, though in a different way. But Gonta gets a slightly fancier one that Abel, because he is much cooler. I think in the Dialtown universe, it would be possible for reptites to exist. However, I think it's funner to imagine Gonta being raised instead by one of the cryptids in-game. I think Bigfoot would be the best one to do so. He lives deep in the woods and isn't believed to be real by most people, fitting with how the reptites are, and is just caring enough that I could see him actually manage to raise a child. For an explanation to that drawing: Bigfoot's name has been put down as the primary shareholder for a local restaurant business ('bear.', a reference to the developer's FNAF fangame series, Dayshift at Freddy's, which I also love hehe) because the owner doesn't believe he's real, and wants to collect the money himself. However, Bigfoot has somehow figured this out, and now regularly goes to the bank to collect his shares (which are given to him in the form of bananas). I think Gonta would sometimes accompany him on these trips :) I think he would get along great with Karen! They'd be besties! I think that every time Gonta goes with Bigfoot to collect bananas, he and Karen would exchange one (1) cool bug and horse fact each (if only there weren't a line, then they'd talk for ages). The power of two people with animal special interests... They'd also both appreciate each other being so honest (Gonta wouldn't have to lie to her about Bigfoot like he would with other people) and talking to Gonta is so much easier than most people for Karen. She doesn't have to watch out for sarcasm or worry about missing idioms, because Gonta doesn't use either. And he is always so respectful. And he gives her cool bug facts. What's not to enjoy?

I have considered, however, Gonta being raised by the other local Dialtown cryptid: Phonegingi. Realistically, I don't think this could happen; Phonegingi lives too close to the town, and has a lifestyle that no human could survive. However. The idea is VERY funny. I think if Phonegingi found Gonta, and decided to adopt him instead of kicking him or using him for child labor, and it somehow managed to keep him alive for 10 years, Gonta would be much weirder. That was the other thing I drew:

He'd still be Gonta, but, you know...being raised by the protagonist of Dialtown would mess anyone up.

those are all the things i drew for, but i still have thoughts about the other characters:

I think Kaito would be a Motorola StarTAC. Haha get it because Star. He also just seems like a flip phone kinda guy. I think Kokichi likes to terrorize him as a clown. Kaito would be scared shitless screaming "CLOWNS AREN'T REAL! STOP IT!!!" and Kokichi would simply say "Honk honk", leading to Kaito crying, even though he has no eyes. He would also, of course, get along amazingly with Norm. He'd be starstruck to meet not just any astronaut, but the only one who's ever been through a wormhole, and Norm would greatly admire Kaito's strong will and desire to do what's right.

And someone else who I think would have a fascination with Norm is Kirumi! Her interest in the Victorian era lends itself to having an interest in pre-Dialup heads, and Norm being the only person with one left would intrigue her, though she probably wouldn't say so out loud. As for her head...I feel like she could have something that relates to her job as a maid, considering how devoted she is to it, but I struggle to come up with something. I think it would have to be something practical, because I don't think she'd get her head changed unless it meant she could perform her duties better, but I don't really know what that would be. Another thought I have is keeping her as a typewriter head, but have it be the same model as whatever Marla Crown's was. Since she was the woman the typewriter heads were modeled after, with her and Callum being the sort of "Adam & Eve" of the Dialup world, it would be an example of how Kirumi is the "model woman", so to speak.

Maki would have a typewriter head, since her job is supposed to be inconspicuous, but she might have a hidden compartment to keep weapons, or something like that.

Tsumugi I think would have a small flat screen TV head. And she's the One who I think in-universe would have a face that shows up onscreen. It's a little funny—she says she's plain but has possibly the least plain head out of anyone in the group.

Korekiyo would have a hybrid head. The top, visible part would be a phone, and underneath the mask would be typewriter keys.

Miu would definitely have one of her own inventions as a head. Maybe the one that lets you work while you sleep? She gave herself the surgery, for sure.

Angie's an interesting one, because God does actually exist in Dialtown, and he is nowhere near impressive. Angie wouldn't be from Dialtown though, so she wouldn't know that. I feel like she would have a special head, but I don't really know what it is. Possibly one of her artworks? But then, people would keep passing out whenever they see her... It would be interesting to see her interact with Dialtown's God, though. Seeing his absolute apathy. Would she care? Would she deny that he's actually God, like Norm? I honestly have no idea, but it's a fun idea! I think she would creep God out. He doesn't exactly have much desire to be worshipped, especially to that level. The freaky knowledge she does have would scare him, too. Where did you learn those people's family members?!?! ...Maybe she's a void-gazer. Maybe the one she calls "God" is a different thing entirely.

Everyone else I don't have much thoughts on, I think they'd have default heads.

And one last thing—how I think Kokichi would get along with Dialtown's main characters, because of course I have to give him more relevance:

Phonegingi: It would go feral if Kokichi brought up his clown schtick in front of it. Potentially to the point of violence. It refuses to believe in a world where clowns could exist. (My personal thought is that Phonegingi is biologically a clown, and is in denial about this, blocking out all the memories. Kokichi would not be spared its wrath.)

Randy: He would be terrified of Kokichi. He would think "oh fuck, this is it, this is how I die, at the hands of a clown—" when Kokichi so much as approaches him. If Kokichi was not in clown getup, he would still be terrified, it would just take until Kokichi said a word to him, if Kokichi used his usual attitude. I think it would be like a Mikan in UTDP situation though—once he realizes how much of a wet puppy Randy is, Kokichi would actually be kind to him because he's so sad and his life is such a mess, it's not fair to kick him while he's already down. He'd try to get Randy to stand up for himself more often.

Oliver: He would think Kokichi's a blast! They'd have fun being silly little guys with each other! Kokichi would go off on a tirade about his secret evil organization, and how he's a liar, and Oliver would go "Groovy!" They're both a bit freaky. Oliver's also an orphan, who is not at all bothered by the fact that he is an orphan because he has such a swag found family, and I think they could find common ground in that. I think they have a likelihood to be best friends.

Karen: She would find him confusing and annoying at first. You can't get close to her without being honest, and I mean, lying's his whole thing. But I think, also, once she realizes he's joking most of the time, she'd actually find him quite funny, because of her secret love of absurdist comedy. And I think she'd actually notice that despite lying being his whole thing, he is actually very honest, in his own way. Because of her inability to read subtle emotive cues she's constantly putting everything she hears under scrutiny to see if it lines up with everything, and so she can actually detect lies quite easily. If something doesn't make sense, she will point it out and analyze it, and find the things that do make sense. Along with Kokichi's own willingness to admit he's a liar upfront before anything else, I think she'd actually start to almost appreciate this in a way, and be able to tell when he's lying pretty accurately. #Autism. I think this would kind of unnerve Kokichi in a way.

Bigfoot: Even as a clown-believer, Kokichi is still a Bigfoot-denier. This is one of his biggest mistakes and will be his downfall.

Norm: Kokichi wouldn't last long in a conversation with Norm before he threatens to shoot. Kokichi, not wanting to die, would run.

Mingus: Kokichi would be pretty insignificant to her. She thinks that this "DICE" organization is just some teens pranking everyone. Clowns went extinct years ago—no one would actually try to bring them back, right...? Kokichi knows better than to ever approach her, though he wishes to one day overthrow her. He really, really hates people like her.

Tango: Tango is nowhere near a main character, but I wanted to include him anyway. I think he'd be an enigma to Kokichi. Tango is just so incredibly positive and it baffles Kokichi because he means every bit of it. There's no lies. No hidden resentment, not even towards the people who would absolutely deserve it. Tango never has anything bad to say about anyone, and none of that is fake. If this was his DSaF counterpart, at least there's the explanation of how his programming won't allow him to be negative, but Dialtown Tango? He's just Like That! Kokichi can't believe that someone could be that optimistic, so he assumes he must just be really good at lying. Which disturbs Kokichi, because he has no idea what could be going on underneath that cheerful, empathetic, gullible facade. But he will never find out, because there is no facade. Scary stuff!

ANYWAY. that's all the thoughts i have right now. play dialtown

[self-loving-vampire]

I don't really want to reblog your post saying this because I feel like that could be annoying but I've gotten a lot into gacha games (specifically Bang Dream, Project Sekai, D4DJ, Blue Archive, and now Zenless Zone Zero, in that order) as a 25 year old plural trans failgirl and despite enjoying them I know they are bad for me and it is my policy to not recommend them

and basically every time I find myself posting gushing over their stories or whatever I feel the need to asterisk myself with "this is a gacha game so I'm not really recommending you check it out". And like, I don't know, I feel like I should say it and it's necessary but it also feels a little tedious I guess. Like, everyone who I follow and who follows me knows this already so aah. But also then again I thought I already knew that the psychological manipulation and gambling was bad and etc and I still ended up getting super OCD over it and losing a lot of time and money to them and I would not wish this condition on anyone else. Which I guess is a more than good enough reason to continue the asterisking even if it's tedious in the same way it's tedious to say "content warning" or "spoilers for _____" or tag anything bothersome so people can filter it and sometimes you might forget to but you gotta do it anyway.

Anyway I uh. I do have like fifteen years of game playing experience prior to the gacha games where I played no gacha games. So if that counts for anything my favorite games of all time (and these are all non gacha singleplayer games) range from like,

Psychonauts (1 and 2), Milk Inside a Bag of Milk, Subahibi, killer7, Night in the Woods, VA-11 HALL-A, Tsui Yuri ~Okaa-san ni wa Naisho da yo~ (the incest yuri visual novel), Shadow the Hedgehog, if found..., Kindred Spirits on the Roof, Dishonored, Gunpoint, Jet Set Radio Future, and most importantly Senran Kagura (but not the gacha one), and many others but I'll just stop typing them now

Also I recently played the System Shock remake, which is kino and beautiful

Anyway I hope this confession is allowed. I really like your posts and your ask box has a very confessional vibe to me sometimes so I still feel compelled to it. Um, yeah. I guess, play those games. And not necessarily any gacha games. (Do that at your own risk, but also probably, really, seriously don't)

I've been trying to write a more formal essay on how gacha games can have good things in them but unfortunately still suck but ironically it hasn't yet come together because I've been distracted playing the gacha games. Hopefully I figure out that problem... Maybe with drugs or something (please)

Yeah, I don't think they are entirely bad (I still look at and reblog horny pictures from some of them often) but I wouldn't play one of those again even with full confidence that I won't fall into a gambling addiction because even putting morality and financial risk aside the very fact that they are trying to push players into it ends up worsening the rest of the game design.

Games these days (not even exclusively gacha) are sometimes deliberately made more tedious and inconvenient just for the sake of selling a solution to these invented problems. Paying to remove some arbitrary limitation or to skip a grind, for example.

The controversy around the new Star Wars Battlefront 2 contrasted with the original game highlights this very clearly. Things that used to just be a part of the game included by default are now things you have to either gamble for or play for an unreasonable amount of time to unlock. It really did not have to be that way, as demonstrated by the original game.

I think if you have been playing them and noticed all the issues it might be worth it to ask yourself if you're actually enjoying yourself on the net. Not just if the games have something in them that's worthwhile but if they are actually a fun way to pass your time. Is it play, or is it a chore you put up with to avoid falling behind or missing out on the things you do like? Would you be missing on much if you engaged with the story through youtube videos instead of playing the game yourself?

And if you do end up deciding you could be having more fun with something else, it's not like there's a shortage of other games, especially if you look into older games. Many of these are free or easy to emulate.

Looking at your list I think we have different tastes but if you enjoyed things like System Shock and Dishonored then you could maybe look into the first Deus Ex, Dark Messiah of Might and Magic, or Arx Fatalis.

(Also this is a confessional now? I guess it gives people an excuse to picture me dressed up as one of those ero anime nuns even as I maximize blasphemy and apostasy.)

[esthersarahhh]

characters; Marco Bodt x gn!reader, past Jean Kirstein x gn!reader

summary; After Jean’s insensitive rejection of Y/n’s feelings, he starts wondering if he made the wrong choice.

word count; 1,4k (1463)

content warning; my constant switching between you and i 😿

notes; i am SO SO sorry for taking so long with updating 😭 school is really stressing me out!! Do you guys want a part 3? If yes, should it be Marco x reader, Jean x reader, both or something entirely else?

Also important! this is a part 2! so i recommend reading the first part before reading this one. you can find part 1 here

———————————————————————

After your not-so-successful confession to Jean, you’ve pretty much avoided him. It wasn’t all too hard the first few weeks, and since he was still head over heels about Mikasa, i think he hardly noticed.

You’ve spent more time with the other cadets and made good friends with them. You’ve become closer to Marco than ever before. You also still shared the same bed together with Marco a lot. Not necessarily in a romantic way but not entirely un-romantic either.

Most boys in the dorm didn’t mind you there, in-fact they liked your presence, and luckily Commandant Shadis didn’t know because if he did God knows how many laps he’d have you run.

Tonight was a night like every other. As you were walking to the boy dorm you noticed that Jean was walking before you. You hadn't talked to him since the whole '' confession '' thing, and you didn't feel like talking to him now. You just kept walking behind him, hoping he wouldn't hear you. He didn't and he went inside the dorm. The same dorm you were going to.

' Why am I suddenly caring if Jean is there or not? He's been in there while I was as well countless times before. ' You thought to yourself. Did you still miss him? Were you only so close with Marco to drive out any leftover feelings you had for Jean?

No. You couldn't think like that. What would Marco say? What would anyone say for that matter. All of your other friends whom you had told the story to said the same thing Marco said. That Jean is stupid and that you shouldn't try to even befriend him again.

But Jean was lonely too. After what he did both Marco and I had stopped talking to him. Me, because I obviously didn't want to talk to him, and Marco because he wanted to focus on me. Jean didn't have any friends exept for us, and seeing him alone in the lunch barracks broke my heart, one piece at a time.

You shaked off the thought you had, turned heel, and went back to your own dorm. You'd have to apologize to Marco later for not showing up like you promised.

_

You apologogized next morning, as you were eating breakfast in the barracks. Marco said he understood, that even though you hadn't thought about Jean for a while, that doesn't mean you never had feelings for him in the first place.

'' I suppose you're right. '' You said, taking another bite of food.

'' I always am. '' Marco replied which made you snort. Your eyes wandered the hall. You saw Mikasa, talking to Eren and Armin. You saw Sasha, stuffing her mouth with more food than she could chew, and Connie laughing at her. Annie, Bertholdt and Reiner were sitting with Mina, Thomas and Daz just talking and laughing together.

Jean was sitting alone in the fathest end of the hall. His food laid untouched on his plate as he just stared at the table before him. You suddenly felt a deep pit in your stomach as you watched him. He looked so alone. You turned to Marco, only to see him talking to Nac next to us. You figured he wouldn't notice if you slipped out for a minute.

So you did just that. You stood up and walked over to Jean's table. As you approached he looked up from his food and looked at you. You stood there, fidgeting with your fingers as you tried to think of what to say.

'' ...You looked alone so I thought I'd ask you to come sit at our table- '' You said but were cut of as he said '' I'm fine! You don't have to pretend to care about me. ''

Half of you wanted to scream at him and make a scene, the other half wanted to be polite to him. The polite half won. '' Well umm.. the offer is open. '' You said and as you were about to turn around and walk back, you turned around again. '' ..Please. '' You looked at him and he looked back at you. He picked up his plate and you frowned in defeat. He was leaving. You closed your eyes and let out a deep sigh. As you opened your eyes again Jean was standing infront of you with a confused look on his face. Then he started grinning.

'' Are you going to stand there with your eyes closed or are we going to sit over there? '' He said, still grinning. You let out a small chuckle and walked with him over to where you were previously sitting. Marco looked at you and Jean, and then put a welcoming smile on his face.

_

You and Jean were neutral after that. Well, you wouldn't call it neutral. You just said hi to each other when walking past each other, not much more than that. You did however have a conversation with Marco about him.

It was a few nights ago, you were both on the porch just looking at the stars when Marco suddenly said '' Why are you talking to him again? '' it sounded more like a statement than a question and he sounded the slightest bit jealous.

'' To who? Jean? '' You questioned, just to make sure. He nodded in response. '' Well he looked alone and it made me think of before i joined the cadets. I was also alone and no one would talk to me. The only company I had was my family. I didn't want Jean to feel the same lonelyness I did. ''

It was quiet after that. You looked at Marco but he looked away. You finally broke the silence by saying '' Are you mad at me? For talking to him again? '' He still wasn't looking at you but he shook his head no.

'' Then why aren't you saying anything..? '' You ask again. Marco turned his head to face you. He had tears in his eyes. You almost broke down right then and there. Seeing Marco cry was like the world was on fire. You leaned into him and put your head on his shoulder, whilst wrapping your arm around him. He took a few deep breaths and then said '' Do you still like him. '' He sounded like he was about to break out into sobs again.

'' No! Not at all. I.. I like someone else. '' His eyes glistened from the tears. You didn't want to say right out that it was him you liked, though it was pretty obvious that he liked you too. You looked into his eyes and he looked at you, then he leant in and kissed you. You kissed back but it didn't last as long as you would've liked. As you pulled apart you felt the presence of someone behind you.

Marco felt that feeling too and you both turned around, only to be met with Jean. You couldn't quite figure out what Jean was feeling from the expression on his face, but from the fact that he was holding flowers and a handwritten letter, you could tell it wasn't good.

'' Congrats. '' Jean said, unimpressed. He dropped the flowers and the letter, and turned around. He walked away. Not to the dorms, but to be somewhere alone. You picked up the letter and gave the flowers to Marco, so he could hold them while you read the letter.

'' Hi Darling Dearest Dear Y/n. I wanted to apologize for my behavior. I wanted to say this to you in person but Im afraid of what you will say so I decided to write this instead. I haven't been fair to you.

You liked me while I barely talked to you because I was so obsessed over Mikasa. I regret everday that I ignored you when you wanted to talk to me that day. You were still nice to me even after what I did. You invited me to sit with you and even though it might not seem like a grand gesture, it meant a lot to me. Im not asking you to forgive me, I just want you to know how sorry I am. Hopefully we can still be friends, and I would do anything for you to give me a second chance.

-Jean ''

You gave the letter to Marco and let him read it as well. After he read it you said '' I um.. need some time to think about this. Sorry I'll see you tomorrow. '' You mumbled as you walked away, back to the girl dorm.

What do you do now?

[lpsotd]

Another anon who read the tags on your last post here! I've felt the need to write something myself since your situation feels so similar to mine when I was younger and maybe my experiences will help you in some way. Feel free to not respond to this if it's uncomfortable, it's totally okay! :)

I also didn't have a supportive family when it came to my interests, still kind of don't. I'm 22 (soon to be 23) and my family members are still looking at me funny regarding my hobbies, just like they did when I was 14-15. It was weird for them to see a child… liking toys and shows made for kids I guess?? They've also said that I was mature for my age, but let me tell you this is INCREDIBLY coercive. ''Since we've called you mature, you wouldn't want to betray us and do something childish now, would you?'' - guys. Just because YOU'VE called me mature doesn't mean that it's true. Maybe I am mature but EMOTIONALLY or got good grades at school. But it doesn't necessarily mean that I will abandon anything that brings me comfort and joy for the sake of a byname that won't mean anything to me. Ever. I think that being mature also means accepting what is dear to you and not being ashamed of that. Being mature is being responsible for your own well being - which you do by enjoying your hobbies! By surrounding yourself with things that will make you get through life a bit easier. Throwing everything out, or denying ever liking said thing is the childish thing to me here.

It's good to read that you want to embrace who you are! After all - we only have one life to live. Why waste it on pleasing everyone around instead of ourselves? ESPECIALLY if it's a hobby that does NO HARM to anyone (well maybe except your wallet). Don't ever let go of what you love, unless YOU decide it's time to move on. I still keep my LPS collection after all those years, after being told countless of times to ''sell them, because you will save some good money'' or just to give them away. What if (stay with me here) I WILL decide what to do with MY property?

And regarding those people who've belittled you for your interests - I am still recovering from the same thing that happened almost a decade ago at school. But I've learned that not everyone behaves like those mean bullies - maybe some people are genuinely interested in what I have to say? Maybe we can bond over this? Maybe I can get a new friend who will accept my ''weird'' hobbies? And thanks to that mindset I've tried opening to more and more people, only to find out that those bullies were the MINORITY and usually people are glad to hear they're not alone in their hobbies or pleasant memories. It made me feel so much less anxious about myself, I can't recommend trying to open up enough!! Sorry if this ask got long, I had plenty of thoughts in my brain it seems, haha. Anyway, OP you're not alone in your struggles and if you have any worries feel free to say so! Stay awesome <3

~lots of love from anon

i think it's kinda insane that adults expect children to immediately grow out of the things they like in favor of more "mature" interests and media. like, why can't that 13 year old watch my little pony? would you prefer it if they were watching that or something like euphoria? 😭 why is it so bad and weird when children are acting like children and want to engage with media that was literally created for them. that's something i don't think i'll ever understand

i'm happy to now be surrounded by people who care about me and indulge in my interests, and i hope you are able to have that too anon !!

[jolalibrary]

Hey there, I truly admire your openness about your anxiety, and I was wondering if you could offer any tips or techniques that have helped you, especially in the context of being active on this platform. Love your work!

tw: anxiety

hi anon! thank you so much, that's really nice of you. i deffo think i could be more open about it, but it's nice that I've been able to be open enough for you to reach out. i'm sorry it took me a day or two to get back to you, i just wanted to make sure i thought up/over things so i was being as helpful as possible! it's important for me to stress that my situation and my anxiety isn't going to be like everyone else's, and how i cope with it isn't like the "go to". but here are some things that help me (i am not claiming that any of these i came up):

creating a rainy day folder: bad days are a thing for everyone, but i know what things put me in a "stormier" frame of mind, and what i'm critical about. so, when things make me smile (comments, nice reblogs, tags, inbox, dms) i screenshot them and pop them in this folder. and when i need an extra boost (or some proof to fire back at my brain that it's wrong) i spend a bit of time in there. as it's me, it's highly organised HA! but, it deffo helps having the folder, and its reminded me, at times, why i love what i do here.

celebrate with cake: i'm a high-functioning person, who has super low self-esteem. for a good portion of my life (an embarrassingly large portion, honestly) good accomplishments were not celebrated. so, now i make a point to celebrate certain things with food (or books, if I'm reading a lot). one thing I've learnt with my anxiety is that it's easy to get into a cycle, and one way of breaking this is to stop and take the time to realise the milestones I've accomplished or how far I've come. just the other day, i took a walk to the shop and grabbed myself a chocolate bar. a year ago, i wouldn't have felt comfortable doing that by myself. and it's important to recognise those achievements when you've had a hard time. i also recommend everyone gets themselves cake when they finish a series (it's the rules, i swear).

learn about yourself: i'm going to be brutally honest and hope this doesn't bite me on the arse, but there are a lot of times i don't really like myself? i don't see the value i offer, i feel like i let people down, etc etc. it used to be worse, and one of the ways that helped me go from every day i didn't like myself to occasionally disliked myself, is by educating myself on me. I've spent a lot of time making myself small to fit in, I've done things others are into so i fit in to the point i wasn't sure who i was. so, when i had a menty-b (the name i call it), i sat with myself and learnt what i liked. music. movies. clothing. passions. hobbies. i have always written, but i wasn't necessarily writing things i loved. so, i changed it. i dated myself (a term lots of people use). i told my husband i was going to spend Friday nights with myself, and i did something i wanted to do. on my own. and in time, that helped with my anxious feelings and my fears about being online. because i spend a lot of time worrying about what people think, but by dating myself i could learn nice things about me - and that way, had things i could tell myself i knew were true: that i'm actually very nice, kind and really funny. it might not making pressing 'post" easier, but i can hold my chin a little higher?

set yourself a goal of happiness: we're all motivated by different things. sometimes, we make a mental goal to ourselves and it becomes blurred and distorted in numbers. but, if your anxiety (like mine) likes to have a thing to measure itself against, choose something that isn't numbers based, but happiness based. did someone tell you this month that your writing/art/gifs made their day? did something you say make them feel better? it's hard, it really is, and i know there will be people reading this and scoffing, but truthfully, one person telling me something i wrote made their day is all a jo really fucking wants. because i'm going to write regardless, it's a choice i make to share it. so, while i gave examples above, that isn't my current goal, but it was a goal i had, and as long as i try to remind myself of that it helps.

which leads me into, try to stay away from the numbers game which i know is hard. but it does nothing for an anxious mind. like, it's a fickle thing. moods change. don't base your worth on a number, you matter far more than it.

accept it's a part of you: this one is more about me, but since you're asking me i thought this is probably allowed. i have a long-term anxiety disorder - which took a long time to get diagnosed - and i have some other little... things that come with that. and for a long time, i felt broken. but, i was reading a self-help book (because your girl loves reading books about brains) and i realised that i have anxiety. it is already part of me. so i need to work with it. anxiety isn\t nice, it's not kind and it's really annoying. but it also makes me empathetic, it makes me care about the work i do (both here and in my day to day life), or makes me compassionate. whether you have it short term or long term, sometimes it's better to accept it's there, acknowledge it, but DON'T FEED IT. have the worries, and then halt them, tell them no. I've found fighting it before I've got the strength doesn't help me. but, waking up, knowing it's there, nodding at it helps keep it in check. this might not make any sense, but, you know.

and finally, the one i'm still working on is: i cannot fix everything and this is fun, so i need to ensure it stays that way for me. which i know isn't really a tip. but it's a good thing to remember. i am one person, it is not on me to check on every single person. it isn't on me to read every single thing. i don't have to engage with things i don't agree with, i don't have to say all my opinions. i can change fandoms. i can not post for a day/week/month. and all i have to do, if i want to, is offer my absolute best. that's it. it's hard. and it's tough to swallow. but sometimes, a jo just needs to be jo.

i am not sure if my rambling has been helpful, but i thought i could list these: plot your fic, find a buddy to talk about things with, surround yourself with good people. but I've said all of these. but the above are things i can do by myself. they are things i can control. and with anxiety, we're all just looking for the things we can manage, and so i based the list in that way. thank you for coming to my jo-talk, i'm going to go hide from being so vulnerable.