#and i wont give it to dorian

[clownattack]

Fr tho why are people reading the dorian tales.

[screechingfromthevoid]

I have to do everything myself don't I? *Opens a Google doc*

[minrathousrain]

well uhm. guess i'll have to do a solavellan run

[roachfurby]

trying to solidify a worldstate that I could play veilguard and not get pissed off in

[utilitycaster]

Bells Hells Level Up: Level 14

FUCK IT WE'RE DOING IT LIVE (I forgot to prep this well in advance like a press release as I am wont to do). Gonna be short, sweet, and as always if there are any factual errors let me know! If I simply did not list every single possible feat, spell, or other choice, that is because I did not wish to spend my wild and precious life doing that.

Chetney: With a 13th level in Blood Hunter he gets Brand of Tethering, which is GREAT for making people (Ludinus) not be able to leave. He can also use Blood Maledict 3 times per rest now. Looking ahead: I'm assuming he's sticking with Blood Hunter (or Blood Nutter as the case may be); at L14 he gets advantage on saving throws against being charmed or frightened, and a new crimson rite. He has flame and frozen, and L14 unlocks necrotic, psychic, and thunder options. Their enemies are often immune to psychic but honestly he can just use fire so. Live your best life, Chet.

Laudna: I support waiting to see how the ritual goes! If she levels in Warlock she gets an ASI/Feat (War caster wouldn't hurt; bumping up INT or WIS wouldn't either though my vote, as always, is for INT), another known spell, and continues her quest as Cantrips Georg. If she levels in Sorcerer she also gets another cantrip, as well as another known spell, and I think she should get a 3rd metamagic option but she seems to already have three? Anyway my vote is for Careful Spell. I'll hold off on further speculation until said ritual has completed.

Dorian: Two more spells! Magical secrets, ie, whatever the fuck he wants (true to my name my vote is spending at least one on Counterspell, but go nuts on the other) He also no longer has to burn his inspiration dice on flourishes, though he only gets a d6 rather than his full d10. Looking ahead: He gets 8th level spells of which Mind Blank might be wise given this campaign; he also gets a d12 inspiration die.

Braius is already level 14, thank you Braius.

Fearne: Ok I respect the ASI push but Transport via Plants would be real clutch sometime soon. With that said Dorian or Imogen could take Teleport or they can just hang out with Essek for a while longer. Anyway, as an Arcane Trickster she gets an ASI and another L1 spell; she's been keeping it utility-focused which is smart because her INT score is not high. The ASI move, in my opinion, is bump up INT and CON by one, but she could also benefit from War caster. Looking ahead: As said, take L11 Druid, get 6th level spells, profit.

Imogen: Revelation in Flesh is upon us; I assume it will be electricity themed rather than the traditional Aberrant Mind option which appears to be "cursed axolotl"-themed. This means she can use sorcery points to make herself fly OR swim/breathe water OR see invisible creatures OR squeeze out of tight situations. Looking ahead: 8th level spells next level! Incendiary Cloud seems to be on-brand but Power Word Stun OR Sunburst (miss you Ayden) are both pretty fantastic.

Orym: Fighters get a zillion ASIs, as always; Sentinel might be fun but he could also bump his CON to 16 (if he does this...I must admit I'm warming on the idea of Orym Paladin and wouldn't scoff at a CHA 13 bump either), achieve Chetney-like intellect with an INT bump, or take any number of feats. I am pretty boring with feats honestly so I'm excited to see what Liam picks but I have no good ideas. Looking ahead: At L15, he gets two more maneuvers, which I will definitely look up before they hit L15; he also gets a free superiority die if they roll initiative while he is fully tapped. Fighters: they are unstoppable.

Ashton: It's a path feature! I have no idea what the fuck will be up with that but I'm looking forward to finding out, which, coincidentally, will give us the full picture of Path of Fundamental Chaos! Looking ahead: They get persistent rage at L15, which will make them even harder to knock out, a thing that is already very difficult to do.

[uselessvaldemarsimp]

"less-cannon-accurate" annnnd there it is, thanks for letting us know that the author of that "route" treats Valdemar being aroace just as an inconvenient little detail to be discarded. what a shame

DISCLAIMER: i am not aroace! this is simply my opinion, take what i say with a grain of salt

here’s what i have to say:

is valdemar good aroace representation in the first place?

i dont think so! their orientation was announced in a, correct me if im wrong, comment section of an instagram post, and no where else! the fact that they and vulgora, villains, are the only nonbinary characters that use they/them exclusively, and the fact that valdemar, again, a villain, is the only aroace character in the entire game, is simply overall bad representation! a villain being aroace isn’t inherently bad representation, but all other things considered in this specific situation, the creators seem to view aroace people as inhumane freaks! yikes!

is this an excuse to erase said gender and sexuality?

not really, no!

is the valdemar dorian route by ronelle otieno good aroace representation despite this?

i think so! it’s done very well in my opinion, being an integral part of their character, not explicitly stated but shown through their actions and storytelling, it honestly makes valdemar seem a little more human, the way that their orientation is shown. i think ronelle otieno took something that was a poorly done afterthought and made it into good representation

can aroace people partake in sex and romance?

yes! this is a pretty obvious fact that most people are aware of by now

since that’s the case, is the inclusion of sex and/or romance when engaging with an aroace character an erasure of their sexuality?

not inherently! again, aroace people Can partake in these things, despite what some people may think!

HOWEVER, is deviating from canon with an aroace character who has been explicitly stated to not have an interest in sex and romance an erasure of their sexuality?

honestly, this is where things get tricky, but i think i have a way of thinking about it:

do actions = attraction?

i dont think so! i think people can kiss whoever they want, have sex with whoever they want, give flowers to whoever they want, without it being a direct show of their orientation. therefore, while it may be deviating from canon, it isn’t an inherent erasure of the characters sexuality. an erasure of aroace sexuality would be having that character specifically show or state that they are romantically and/or sexually attracted to someone. that’s where we begin having issues! if you have a problem with deviating from canon, that’s an entirely different thing, and i suggest you never interact with fandoms ever! for your own sanity.

people swap the sexualities of characters all the time, why is it such an issue when people do it with aroace characters, or queer characters in general?

lack of representation! if all these different flavors of queer were normalized, as they should be, people wouldn’t have so much of an issue with playing around with characters sexualities, but because representation is spare, people cling onto these aspects of these characters for dear life, even if the representation isn’t good representation

so what should people be fighting for?

more representation! instead of hanging onto characters who’s orientation is already a badly done, arguably acephobic afterthought, maybe the best course of action is to make an effort to create more aro and/or ace representation in general!

at the end of the day, is this all that big of a deal?

not really! you are the the captain of your own ship. you can choose to interact with things, or dont! wasting energy arguing over something that wont change is not worth your precious time. using that energy to create and promote Good representation is probably a better use of ones energy.

i highly encourage aroace people, especially those who have read the dorian route, to share their opinions. i dont intend to speak For or Over aroace people, im just a stranger on the internet who has thought a lot about things that dont really matter a whole lot in the grand scheme of things

[ranfren-confessions]

im TIRED of calling them hitchhiker a and b. i made my own headcannon names. hitchhiker a is dorian and hitchhiker b is emerson. if captainhowdie wont give them names i will 😡😡😡

.

[bearofohu]

i wont have my rook's entire profile fleshed out till i play datv but here are the building blocks

shadow dragons background

he/they, bisexual

elf mage

tall, making him extra insufferable

real name is felcen, calls themselves rook after his blorbo the chess piece

embodiment of the nerd emoji

the most undiagnosed autism

anxiety is scared of him

always has his pussy in a book

likes history books especially

in a parasocial relationship with the inquisitor. thats jungkook to them

"erm actually....the dread wolf isnt really a wolf, that depiction is based on dalish folklor-"

constantly forgetting theyre an elf

really good at accidentally making people hate him

once you defeat the other redditors you must face him

whoever the viper ends up being is their adopted dad/mom

really wants my adaar and dorian to also be his dads

so adopted he has to collect new parents like pokemon

potentially has the power to be so annoying solas gives up to avoid dealing with it

[cherry-colored-petals]

Update 2:

(cw: rubedo's showing his sadism basically lmfao, electrocution talk, and overall just fighting to the death)

So uh.

He's going insane.

So I may have made Rubedo (or Dorian) and I already want to kick his ass.

[lunarisverysilly]

Hi hope your doing well, I’m just wondering if u still write for Dorian from hooky. If so could you maybe make relationship headcanons for him. Your the only writer I know who dose him😭

Dorian X GN!Reader :D

YES YES PLEASE SEND ME MORE HOOKY REQUESTS I LOVE HOOKY :D :D

dorian makes me go yippee :D :D

anyways hes like the sweetest bf ever

you definitely get princess treatment

he simps for u lowkey

hes a little cheesy but still cute

his love language is physical affection

like he worships the ground you walk on

he tries to impress you with his magic(tell him hes doing a good job :D)

he loves compliments btw

he always blushes and does a cute little face when you compliment him

also he returns all those compliments

you wont EVER doubt yourself with him around

he adores making you flustered

and hes constantly telling you how much he loves you

hes a little overprotective too

not overbearingly but still protective

hes also pretty affectionate and clingy

he loves to cuddle with you and rest his head on your chest

he also loves giving u surprise hugs from behind

he also doesnt mind pda but likes to keep it to a minimum

and he loves kisses

prefers kissing your forehead(because hes tall as hell) or your lips

also he tastes like vanilla because i said so

he love hearing about your interests too

he will get into anything you like just so he can discuss it with you

he loves taking you out

and he always pays because hes a gentleman and he loves you

overall hes just a sweetie and perfect bf material <3

[throneofsapphics]

you completely knocked me out with “knocking on death’s door”. i read it DAILY. i love that trope way too much and the scenes where dorian is reading to her, desperately hoping for a sign of her waking up, and the one where manon is lying next to her crying… angst level 9999. it’s one of my favorite fanfics ever, it’s literally so perfect, i just wish it was a little longer (to add even more angst to it ofc)

and i was thinking maybe… maybe you’d be open to writing something similar but with rowaelin (*smiling pretty and crossing my fingers*)

i was thinking, idk she somehow gets really injured, maybe in an ambush or sth, and she has many wounds they focus on but doesnt mention the headache, so they figure it out too late, and this one would be even more angsty cuz manorian are way more levelheaded than rowaelin, and reader would be out for like 2 weeks and they would be DEVASTATED trying to keep on hoping, but it gets harder and harder as days go by and the healers basically tell them there’s nothing more they can do. and maybe they even give a deadline of when the reader has to wake up, and if she doesn’t do it then she most probably won’t ever wake up. and of course she doesnt wake up and people are trying to suggest.. yk, and rowaelin are NOT having it. and idk i just imagine rowan on his knees crying begging her to wake up, and aelin refusing to let go of her hand. and maybe she wakes up on a very RARE occasion they’re not by her side and goes on the balcony or the bathroom idk and when they enter and dont see her there they PANICK hard

i’m so sorry this is so long but i have so many ideas and your fics kill me cuz they’re too good ok goodbye i wont bother you anymore (until next week at least🙈)

you are so kind oh my gosh. and don't be sorry, I promise you're not bothering me and I love the ideas. I'm finishing this up and it turned into a bit of a monster, I'll post it in a bit and link it here!

here it is!

time for me to sleep now

[plasticfreckles]

how fictional/famous men i obsess over would fix my current problem (i am stress-freezing in anxiety over a university paper)

(also we're obviously dating and in love and shit just lemme have this)

- jaal ama darav: i would not have this problem bc I'd be in andromeda, but he would make me tea and chocolates and offer to do the majority of the leg work

- liam kosta: would procrastinate with me and then hyperfocus on it with me and we get it finished within the deadline but its a very emotionally taxing journey

- saren arterius: would bribe the prof, and the university for my degree while hes at it

- thane krios: would not help me, but would sit down next to me as I work, see that I am of peak condition to do mental work, pray to [insert fitting drell deity] to let me pass

- zevran arainai: murder the prof

- banck trevelyan (my oc inquisitor): would write my paper for me bc we of similar (read: mediocre, but also below-average eloquence) intelligence and also bc he a bit of a pushover ngl

- dorian pavus: would hand in a paper for me that will get me either 100% or 0%, nothing in between

- jackie welles: would threaten the prof to either give me a passing grade or get beat up within an inch of their life for inconveniencing me

- johnny silverhand: would either tell me to cowgirl up and do it or fight the prof, depending on how fed up he is with either my emotional ass or sth about capitalism commercializing education and the fact that i can barely function even if i have my metnal illnes treated bc this society isn't made for anyone really

- goro takemura: would find some arasaka person to write it for me. if they hand it in with my name on it and i score less than 80% they would be run out of their job

- river ward: "like gurl if you need me to drive you to the library or run for a pizza ill do it but idk how im supposed to help"

dorn il-khan: would kill the prof violently, making it so uni knows to give me 100% if they wish to live

rasaad yn bashir: would dictate me what to write and how to format it from the top of his head. i would get 100%

data: would compile said paper within 0.0173 milliseconds, hand it in, earn me 100%, rinse and repeat with my thesis (would prob be the most thankful for this)

thranduil oropherion: "bitch you're the queen you're not writing anything ill exile the bastard who dares assign you papers. the gall."

kim nam joon: would find me the materials i need and will proof-read and fix what he thinks needs fixing, bounce ideas back and forth with me, would realistically be the most productive help in the long-term, but i would whine about it bc he wont just use his big brain to write the damn paper for me

dustin bates: "you need a topic to write about Ill give you one" (would proceed to drop the most heartwrenching track in the history of everything, on which i would hyperfixate and get nothing done and fail)

[utilitycaster]

Sorry for the rant. I think the fact that they didn't wait until after the Candela finale was a missed opportunity that would have felt less, jarring 1. they could breathe and RP for a session after coming back from the moon reconnaissance mission (this is also considering that whether or not Matt made the party fight Otohan and have a PC death) Matt could have told them to end that particular session at Keyleth's camp and even tell Liam to wait and call Dorian at the end, and then have the party switch. it's also so strange to split the session in two for whatever reason

2. having the party switch after Candela would allow for a good window of time for the Crown keeper to do what they need to in case they can't reach a good point to return to BH in 2 hours, maybe a session and a half at most

3. assuming Dorian, and maybe others with him, come back to the group after whatever this intermission is done, i think it would be hard for them to split the attention between Keyleth encampment and debriefing - mourning FCG - guest players in a way that wont feel like it makes a disservice to another one of these topics (focusing on Guests and FCG's death could make it so the debriefing for the mission they spent 10+ episodes on feels lackluster, and vis versa)

As someone else said, it feels like they are giving us a palate cleanser as i was halfway through a good meal, but also they gave us another meal and after two bites they took it away so i could finish it in two weeks

there is also this limbo feeling of that we are getting late to the airport (freeing Predathos) but also we are taking a stop for sightseeing, and snacks, and bathroom and- it's like they are trying to convince us that "there is an urgency and we have to get there now now, but also nevermind that, lets catch up with these other characters for a bit"

It's just an ODD choice no matter how you look at it

So the urgency doesn't bother me. This was a weird thing in the fandom during the Solstice Split too (god i blocked so many people for constantly shrieking ARE THE OTHERS DEAD in the main tag every week, like no they are fine, they are narratively on pause) but like. Time is frozen for Bells Hells right now. We are following another group. We are not going to get snacks; we are looking in on what other people are doing, concurrently with this campaign. Indeed, that's not a bad idea. In a good campaign, there is this sense that the rest of the world exists and is doing things as you go about your own business - you are heroes of the story but you're not the only people who matter or do things.

It really is like. In some fantasy in which I were personally asked "hey, we want to do this thing where the Crown Keepers show up midway through the episode, and we follow them for that half an episode and then the beginning of the next episode, where would you put this?" I would, to be honest, say "maybe just do it as a standalone episode itself" but if I had to it would just be, again, Not Now. Cutting away while the party is on the moon! Cutting away while they're headed to the moon! Cutting away a week from now! Cutting away just before the Otohan fight! Hell, I even think that while I would have initially been far more annoyed if we started the episode and it was the Crown Keepers the whole way through this week, it would feel more coherent. But like, on a list of 20 places to insert the Crown Keepers scene, "halfway through an episode following a particularly dramatic and tragic character death" would be 21st.

(I also do want to push back against the idea that Sam needs more time and so this is why; you could just. run more episodes without him. Travis voluntarily sat out of almost 5 episodes. It took 2 episodes for Caduceus to show up. Team Wildemount had more episodes than Team Issylra. It is literally fine if he misses a few more episodes.)

[unknownspecies]

Ship your moots with characters they don’t know!

since all of you guys are weebs i cant do any animes

So im throwing a curveball and shipping yall with book characters !!!

@daiception x horace rangers apprentice

HORACE MY HUNGRY HIMBOOOO. hungry hungru himbo. a swordsman soldier through and through and knows all the rules. but wont hesistate to break them for youuuu. hes vv direct with his love (srsly questions his friends who try to be discrete with their crushes hes like “just tell them ?? Tf??” bby it doesnt work that way 😭) but will move the mountains for you

@zorotits x grey cursebreaker series

ive inly read the first book and am reading the second rn. but !!! grey is a commander of the royal guard. so he’s incredibly loyal. to the point where he’ll die for you. so. this man. poor man. needs a damn break. give him a much needed massage. and he’ll teach u how to swordfight in return. then he’ll fight u with his sword ;) he loves like no other and wouldnt do any pranks with you. but would def try to cover your tracks if you do. wont hesistate to tell you “i told you so” if you do get caught tho 😐 mf do ur job and cover me tf. but vv loving nonetheless

@chosovixen x the darkling grishaverse

i hate the darkling (wow what a wonderful way to start this) but i def see the appeal if he wasnt a murdering psychopath. dream sex ;) but will conquer kingdoms for you and will flirt with you and show you ur true potential. 

@httpghostface x rowan/lorcan throne of glass

rowan and lorcan are two ppl that i shipped u with (even better if they both take you ;) theyre “rivals” so itll def be interesting) rowan is someone who doesnt show much emotion and lorcan is someone who doesnt have much emotion. but they both love with all their broken and scarred hearts. lorcan is the living def of a tsundere he will literally deny u in front of their friends and it will literally be yalls wedding like???tf??? will no doubt kill fy (has before) and will treat u like the queen u deserve to be treated as

@reverie-starlight x shade red queen

shade is menace. a flirtatious, teleporting, handsome menace. you two would definitely create a secret language and shit talk your friends in front of them. and the best part is. this language is silent, all in the eyes. so itll just be 👀. 👀👀. 😏🙄😒. 🥱🤨😊. 👀😐😩. 😏😎🥴. and ur friends are like “are yall having a stroke tf is going on here tf. jessica lets get out of here call 911”

@ushiwhacka x cassian acotar

Cassian is a himbo with 1.23 braincells and 0.76 of them are in the wind rn lost and never to be found. an absolute sweetheart. basically a calmer more horny bokuto essentially. he has wings so touch and caress them and see what happens ;) will crawl to you even if he was half dead (happened before) and will absolutely cause chaos with you whenever and wherever. accidentally blew up a building and has heavy allergies but will no doubt fill donuts with mustard and hand them over to his murderous friend just for shits and giggles. Will frame u tho but dw his murderous spy friend will give him a few bruises after >:)

@https-bachira x rowan tog 

ROWAN IS A SON OF A BITXH (affectionately) literal grump. but. will skin people alive fy (he did for his soulmate ;) ) he will push u past ur potential and his canines 👀😩. he wont tolerate any bullshit towards him or you but he will watch ur bullshit towards other people. sass everyone but him (unless u want something else 😏)

@crescentkaze x dorian tog

DORIAN MY BBY BOY 😩😩😩 you only need to know one thing. invisible. hands. 😏😏😏. now. dorian used to be vv charming. but after a certain incident hes vv quiet. BUT HES STILL A SEXYMAN AT HEART. he will strike down the stars for you (he almost did for his first love) and he will never hide it. hes the type to do the flustering but show a little spunk and hes sure to be the one blushing (but youll pay for that later dw ;) )

@nanamoonie x aedion tog/gilan ra

nownownow aims 😏😏😏 aeidon and gilan are both vv charming men. i couldnt pick fy. aedion is a charming general plagued by harsh memories (so vv good for hurt comfort) yet is a horny mf that cant keep his hands to himself. he is vv affectionate and will push u past ur limits. gilan is an absolute sweetheart. also vv charming and will compliment u and look at u as of ur the only girl in the world !!! im jealous frfr 

@toorumi x kenji shatter me/nikolai grishaverse

kenji is an absolute menace frfr a very jokester type of person yet would be serious when needed. hes the comedic relief in the series yet hes also my fav character as well 😩 he can turn invisible so be ware for any pranks !! dw ull get him back. i also shipped u with nikolai (hes my favorite fucking character ever i want this man right here) a true charming prince turned king, but an innovator and strategic pirate as well (although he would say privateer) he speaks in nothing but flirtations (reminds u of someone?) and will not hesistate to blow up a building by accident. a true match fy frfr (pa these guys got fashion sense so it kight be a turn off fy 😭💀👀)

@sookisaurus x rhysand acotar

Risu would definitely go well with Rhys. hes a vv supportive character that both lifts u up and pushes u to get past ur limits. yet would immediately back off the moment he sees u starting to strain (unless its in bed ;) ) hes the vv charming type (much like kuroo) and is vv affectionate. not to mention his wings are vvvv sensitive ;) a powercouple to be feared frfr

[nyf-archive]

"Oh, I have a plethora of stories to tell, dear Lysander. But, they are for another time. I have only just met you and don't feel like airing my dirty laundry quite yet." Dorian snickered as he settled back and against the booth, getting as cozy as he could as the wine began to warm his belly and his cheeks.

"I wont rally anyone to the cause unless they want to be rallied. And you, my friend, do not look like you wish to be convinced to run around the wilds of this world in order to possibly find the answers the Inquisitor is looking for." Plus, Dorian wasn't one to push and prod if someone didn't want to do something. He wasn't that kind of person.

"I'm not here to gain anything, honestly. I ended up sitting at this table by muscle memory. The dwarf and I usually sit here and scheme to do things around the keep. You just happened to be sitting in our favorite spot. Not that I'm complaining. Your company has been a change of pace." He gave him a wink as his goblet found his lips again.

"You're here for a reason. Whether it's your family, your will to protect someone you love, to rally to a cause, or all of the above; that's your business and none of mine. All I can do is give you some 'atta boy's' or some speech about how 'everyone plays a part' and so on, so forth. You are your own person. I'm here because of my own reasons and for the fact that I believe that Lavellan can do it. She is my friend and I will always be by her side."

Lysander watched the other curiously, he had just planned on ordering another bottle for them, money came and went easily with him, he never thought too much on it.

“I’m sure she has. It’s not an easy situation to be in” he shrugged “I certainly don’t envy her that much, especially when someone is inevitably looking to place the blame” Lysander added with a defeated sigh.

“As good or as bad as I may be at it, I will never play their game, they don’t deserve it.” He answered with a finality that showed he was done with that strain of their conversation.

“Well it certainly seems like you’ve got plenty of stories to tell, but you’ve ended up here with me, honestly I’m curious as to why, you don’t seem to be rallying me to the cause at all so I’m curious what it is you’re gaining from this… other than the pleasure of my company of course” he grinned, placing a hand on his chest and batting his eyes dramatically.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

bestie help, i need book recommendations (that my teacher will think are grade-appropriate. apparently, hunger games is lower than my grade level) so i’m looking for books that Jason would totally read and enjoy and probably be able to write several essays about. help pls

heck yeah.

ok so necessary reading for every bastard on here:

pride and prejudice - jane austen

fahrenheit 451 - ray bradbury

1984 - george orwell

good omens - neil gaiman and terry pratchet

macbeth - shakespeare

the 7 husbands of evelyn hugo - taylor jenkins reid

slaughterhouse 5 - kurt vonnegut

the picture of dorian gray - oscar wilde

maurice - e.m forster

if we were villains - m.l rio

the goldfinch - donna tartt

books that kinda skirt the edge of YA but are still necessary reading for every bastard on here:

perks of being a wallflower - stephen chbosky

his dark materials trilogy - philip pullman