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cryptidghostgirl · 2 years ago

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Kadaver Kids (Xavier Thorpe x singer!Reader)

this was inspired by Tonight You are Mine by @lovetorn cause I really liked theirs and I have been considering doing something like this anyways.

pairing: Xavier x reader

description: Ajax drags Xavier with him to see his childhood friend’s band perform.

warnings: its a song fic. song lyrics are included. yuh.

word count: 2520

Status: unedited

Part two

masterlist

“So who is it we’re seeing again?” Xavier asked as he followed Ajax out of the uber and onto the sidewalk.

“My friend Y/n. We were neighbors growing up. She’s a normie, but she’s always been really kind to me. She’s in a band and this is their first ever concert in Jericho.” said Ajax, paying the driver on his phone before shoving it back into his pocket, “Wanna smoke before we go in?”

“I’ll wait with you.” Xavier politely declined.

Concerts had never been his thing. They were too loud with too many people but Ajax had been so excited for the show, and so insistent that he didn’t want to go alone.

“what type of music do they play?” asked Xavier as he leaned against the wall of the ally beside the venue.

“Uh.” Ajax began, blowing out smoke and coughing slightly as he did, “like, rock? She calls it angry girl music.”

“sounds interesting.”

Xavier turned his gaze to the ally’s entrance to see a throng of people already lined up outside.

“we should probably head over soon if you want to be close to the stage.” he said, gesturing to the crowd.

Ajax nodded and put out his joint before shoving what was left back in his pocket.

“good point.”

A few minutes later and the pair were inside. It was a nice venue, a bit decrepit, but nice. They found places front and center in the audience and began to wait for the band to come on.

“There’s no opener, its just gonna be them.” said Ajax, “and they’re throwing a party after at Y/n’s parent’s house after that we’re invited to. It’s just gonna be a little get together.”

“I forget that you’re actually from Jericho.” Xavier laughed, “and we’ll see, depends on how late the concert goes.”

The pair fell into silence for a moment before Ajax spoke up.

“Listen,” he awkwardly began and Xavier turned to face him, “Y/n? well shes really pretty. That’s all I’m saying. Just, be careful okay?”

“What? is she a maneater like the hall and oats song? don’t worry Ajax, after Bianca I think I can handle anything. Plus, I’m not really looking for anything new right now.”

“I meant more so that if you hurt her we’ll have problems.” said Ajax, “And yeah I know I just wanted to say something you know? just in case. She’s like a sister to me. We literally grew up together bro.”

Xavier nodded.

“Right, no hurting Y/n.”

“No matter how tough she makes herself out to be.”

“Yes. No matter how tough she makes herself out to be.” repeated Xavier, annoyance coloring his tone.

“Good.” nodded Ajax, “Again, I’m sorry about this. I just couldn’t in good conscience say nothing.”

“No man, I get it.” nodded Xavier, “family is family.”

“Thanks.” Ajax smiled, “I wonder when they’re gonna come on. We’ve been here a while already.”

Just as the last word left his mouth, the entire venue went pitch black and there was the sound of muffled footsteps. In the darkness, Xavier could just make out four figures as they found their places.

The stage lights raised and a girl at the front yelled:

“We’re Kadaver Kids! Get ready for us to make your ears bleed! one, two, three, four!”

I wrote a song on your guitar and it sounds like.

The lead singer broke into a killer breif guitar solo.

You wrote a song on my guitar and it sounds like shit.

Xavier moved his eyes across the stage. The drummer was to the right, dressed in ripped black jeans, a black muscle tee, and lots of jewelry. To the left was another person playing guitar with close cropped hair and a muddied and torn vintage dress matched with thick soled combat boots. The bassist stood at the front beside the singer in a pair of black overalls and with hair teased to all hell. The singer herself was holding a guitar that she was only using to play the songs solos.

“That’s Y/n.” Ajax said, leaning over to Xavier so he could hear, “the lead singer.”

You only like me when I’m sad

You only want me when I’m feeling bad

You only like me when I’m sad

You only want me when I’m feeling bad

And now I’m feelin’ so bad!

She sang, her h/c hair whipping around her face as she put her heart into the music. She too wore a pair of thick soled black boots. Paired with a pale yellow babydoll dress and again, a lot a lot of jewelry. Her ears full of earrings, at least five necklaces, a spiky collar with matching wrist cuffs and, of course, rings. Lots of rings.

Xavier understood now why Ajax had warned him.

After the first song ended, the audience cheered and Xavier leaned over to Ajax.

“I’m surprised,” he laughed, clapping, “they’re actually good.”

Ajax nodded enthusiastically.

“I’ve been trying to tell you!”

“Hey all!” called the girl, Y/n, sounding much sweeter than when she’d been singing once the audience had calmed down, “Thank you so much for having us! I am actually from Jericho and this is the first time we have ever had the privilege of playing here.”

There was another round of cheers and Y/n looked around at her bandmates with a wide smile before turning back to the crowd.

“As I mentioned, we are Kadaver Kids! we’re gonna do like, some little stupid introductions for you guys now. On the drums we have Ace!”

The drummer played briefly and the audience cheered.

“On guitar we have the wonderful Violet, everyone give them a good ol’ round of applause.” said the bassist next gesturing to the guitarist behind him who too played a brief solo before the audience silenced them.

“Our lovely bassist here beside me is the incredibly talented Louis.” said Y/n, turning to face the man beside her who smirked and played a bit to the same response as the others.

“And our jaw dropping vocalist and lead guitar is the amazing, undeniable, fucking dumbass, Y/n.”

Y/n waved and the audience cheered much louder than before. Once they had calmed down, she opened her mouth to speak again.

“Just one last thing, I wanna give a shout out to my best friend who is in the crowd with us tonight, Ajax! Ajax, raise your hand!”

Sheepishly he did so to several cheers.

“Alright well, that was quite a warm welcome for us all.” said the bassist with a light laugh, “The next one we’re gonna play is called Awesome Party, dude!”

“We encourage singing along.” said Y/n, dipping the microphone and speaking directly into it.”

The bandmates exchanged a nod before they turned back to the audience and Y/n started singing.

Well it’s a cool, cool party thanks for telling me

to come back to your house that we grew up in back in july

did you know that you forgot to call me on my birthday

well thats okay, cause I dont even know your birthday anymore

I dont even know your birthday anymore

Xavier couldn’t take his eyes off the girl as she half screamed and half sang. There was something so incredibly brutal about her, she was all rough edges.

And things dont change at all that much

you’re still wearing the same sneakers

I still smoke the same cigarettes

The bassist kept making weird faces to girls in the audience who were swooning on the spot, the guitarist was jumping around as they played, the drummer smiled brightly the whole time despite the visible sweat dripping down his face. They all appeared to be having the absolute best time despite the tone of the music they played.

It’s a cool, cool party but I can’t come back again

you are everything, you’re perfect

you’re my best misquito friend

it’s a cool, cool party

I don’t love you anymore!

As she screamed that last line she stood up straight, eyes wide as she looked out at the audience in apparent amazement during a short instrumental break.

I dont love you anymore!

I don’t love you anymore!

She kept screaming the line, appearing more and more joyous with every repetition.

I don’t love you anymore!

“Are all their songs so sad?” asked Xavier as the audience applauded the end of the song.

Ajax shrugged.

“Shes not a very happy person, she tries her best though.”

“I will say, they have a great stage presence. They’re really playing the crowd.” Xavier said once they had finished a song called The World Ends With You that Y/n had spent all of dancing and jumping around the stage. She was absolutely eye catching, intoxicating even.

“Yeah. I’m really happy to finally get to see them live. I used to watch them practice before they blew up and I helped record some of their first album and shit.”

“Really? thats so cool.”

“Alright folks, last song of the night.” Y/n announced all too soon.

“Last song of the night!!!” roared the bassist into his microphone to many cheers and screams from girls in the audience.

Y/n rolled her eyes.

“Oh don’t mind him, he’s not nearly as cool as he seems.” she teased and he feigned offense from beside her, “we’re gonna end it on a sad, slow, fan favorite. Can anyone guess what it is?”

There were sounds of people screaming the names of so many different songs that Xavier couldn’t hear a single thing anyone was really saying.

“Yeah! Howd you know!” cried Y/n in suprise before dropping the act, “Just kidding. I have no clue what any of you said but what I do know is that we are going to play Humpty! yeah! A super sad one instead of a regular sad one!”

The music started and Y/n drew herself close to the microphone, holding it as if it were someone she loved dearly.

I’ll live in the bathtub, its cool and its clean

its smooth and its sturdy, it’s all that I need

“her voice sounds totally different on this one.” Xavier said, leaning over to Ajax.

“Yeah.” he responded with a smile, “it took her so long to figure out how to sing the way she wanted to. This is what she sounded like before the band. They only have a couple songs where she uses her real voice, I’m really happy they’re playing one even if it is so sad.”

All the eggshells are on the ground

and I try, I’m trying to pick them up but

they crack and crumble, it’s all too much

too frail for me to touch.

“Does she write the songs?” Xavier asked, his gazed fixed on the girl who was now bent over into the microphone as she sang with a powerful yearning.

“Yeah.” Ajax nodded, “always has since she was little. She says that everything she sings has to be something she writes because if it’s not, it wont be true.”

I broke what you gave me

but you kept giving more

and I’m sorry for taking

But I keep wanting more, more, more

Xavier thought hard about what his friend had said.

“Does that mean all her songs are based on like, real experiences and shit?” he asked.

“Yeah.” Ajax answered as the song ended and the crowd exploded into cheers once more.

“That’s metal.” Xavier nodded.

“Thank you guys so much for coming out! Again, we are Kadaver Kids and there will be no encore because I, am tired!”

The crowd laughed and her band mates got up. As they were readying to leave, Y/n leaned back into the mic once more.

“Oh! And as for the pretty boy in the front row,” she called, pointing at Xavier who felt his cheeks grow hot, “You can come see me backstage.”

She winked and the audience went wild.

“Guys! Guys! Guys!” she cried, feigning innocence, “It’s cause he’s Jax’s plus one! duh! god! you guys are all so dirty minded.”

She stuck her tongue out in fake disgust before waving and following her bandmates off stage.

Xavier stood there, dumbstruck for a few moments, staring at the space on stage the girl had just occupied.

“Holy shit.” he said under his breath, she said he was pretty.

“come on!” said Ajax, excitedly tugging at Xavier’s sleeve, “let’s go say hi!”

Xavier followed his friend back past the security guards and into a dingy area with several closed doors off of it. In the room was everyone except the guitarist and singer.

“hey guys!” said Ajax with a big smile and a wave, “you were amazing!”

“Thanks” said the bassist, standing up from the couch he sat on and walking over.

“We’re really happy you could make it.” called the drummer from where he still sat, “Y/n is so excited to see you.”

A door opened and out stepped the guitarist now wearing a pair of faded grey sweatpants and a white crop top that lay flat over their chest.

“Sup.” they said, nodding to Ajax who smiled back.

“So, whos your friend?” asked the drummer, pointing to Xavier who suddenly felt very self conscious in his jeans, hoodie, and flannel.

“This is Xavier.” said Ajax, stepping to the side a bit so everyone could see.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Lou.” said the bassist, holding out his hand which Xavier shook.

“I know I was introduced as Ace but that’s my stage name. I’m Nate.” waved the drummer from the couch.

“Vi.” Said the guitarist as they took a seat next to nate.

There was the sound of another door opening and everyone turned to see Y/n emerging, now clad in a pair of short black shorts and an oversized grey hoodie.

“Jax!” she yelled, flinging herself at his friend who hugged her tightly back.

“You were amazing up there Y/n.” Ajax said once they’d separated,

“Why thank you,” Y/n smiled and mimed curtsying before turning to xavier who felt the blood rush to his cheeks once more.

She was much shorter than he had expected.

“I expect you’re Xavier then?” she asked, looking up at him as she pulled her necklaces out from beneath her hoodie.

He nodded.

“hehe we match.” she smiled.

“What?” he asked.

she gestured to his chest and he looked down to see that the hoodie he had on just happened to be the same one the girl was wearing.

fuck. that was cute.

“yeah, I guess we do.” he answered.

“I like you.” said Y/n after a moment, grabbing his hand in her own.

Ajax sent Xavier a look he understood to be a reiteration of the warning he’d given before the show.

“To the after party?” asked the drummer standing up.

“yeah!” exclaimed Y/n, jumping up slightly before turning to Xavier, “Come on!”

With that she dragged him out of the venue through the backdoor.

Fuck. I’m in trouble.

Part two

SONGS USED

Pressed 2 Death by Illuminati Hotties

Awesome Party, Dude by Sorry Mom

The World Ends With You by Newgrounds Death Rugby

Humpty by Mitski

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crestfallenna · 7 months ago

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If you want to talk about something I can listen 🙂

I hope you're doing OK when you see this

TW: SA, SH, ED

My dad used to SA me when I was in middle school. The memories are all so crystal clear but sometimes I question them, did it ever happen though I know it very well did. He apologized to me after a few months, did it again, and finally stopped. I have this feeling that I am not affected by this childhood trauma, but then how do I explain not being able to look anyone in the eyes, short breaths even though I am just walking in the classroom, having no friends, low-self esteem even though I was the best player in my school sport and I was one of the subject toppers. I can only hold onto this evidence of being a nice kid because I don't feel like it. I think the SA was not that big of a deal (I know it is). But it completely changed me, I started listening to songs from the family trauma playlist, I used to draw on my thighs with red, I became a psychology nerd, and the lockdown did not help. My dad is definitely a narcissist(If he isn't, he still makes me feel like that because of his behavior). My mom isn't that great, instead of helping me and my brother out she only cares about herself. She gets jealous (I know) when I don't eat junk food. She acts like she has bipolar/bpd disorder. I am just scared and confused. The WORST think is that my acadmics are getting affected. Its my fault, not theirs, its my fault that i allow there daily verbal and emotional abuse

get to me each time. I have this crazy thought in my head...that something is wrong with me, everyone says that my dad is such a great person and I am lucky kid.

Thankyou very much, its the first time someone asked me this.

#anoresick #light as a feather #st4rv1ng #tw thinspi #i want to ⭐ve #i need to lose so much weight #bonespø #i need to lose this weight #thin legs #i need to be weightless #family issues #family dynamics #family trauma

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basilone · 10 months ago

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@hesbuckcompton-baby tagged me in this one, ty! 💚I know a lot of folks have gone and done this one already, but please if you wanna do it consider yourself tagged right now! misc tag game!

favorite place in the world you’ve visited?

I really loved Prague when I went there for a citytrip aeons ago. The atmosphere of that city and its chill style really vibed with me. We’d rented an apartment, so it felt way less like visiting and more like living there for a couple of days. Remember just standing on the balcony in the very early morning watching the locals waking up and starting their day – that sense of utter inner tranquillity I had in that moment has really stuck with me.

something you’re proud of yourself for?

Uhm, I dropped out of school when I was fifteen. That part isn’t a point of pride, just a fact of life. And I had a lot of people pushing me this way and that way since, telling me I’d never make it and that I needed to sacrifice pretty much all of my mental health in order to fit the standard idea of what fifteen-year-olds should be doing with their time. I didn’t listen to them and started to carve out my own way instead. We’re almost twenty years on from my dropping out, and I can safely say this: I made it. I’ve got a great job I love, I’ve got people around me who lift me up, and my mental health is good enough for me to thrive 90% of the time. I have worked my ass off to get to where I am right now, and fought a long uphill battle to make life sing again. And it’s made me so resilient and so certain of myself, you know? I’m superproud of myself for sticking around in this world and making something awesome of my own path in it.

favorite books?

Rebecca (by Daphne du Maurier), Anna Karenina (by Tolstoy), Son of the Shadows (by Juliet Marillier), The Braided Path trilogy (by Chris Wooding), and Ash: A Secret History (by Mary Gentle).

something that makes your heart happy when thinking about it?

The prospect of curling up on the couch/in bed with a really good book for company. Can’t beat that!

favorite thing about your culture?

The way I almost went “which culture” lmao. 😂 Which really almost is an answer in itself, as I think Dutch culture is a collective of many different things? We’re traders/explorers by nature and our identity tends to slip into something pretty multifaceted. That said, I come from a specific part of this country where people still routinely speak a dialect and where the cultural events are a lot more in-your-face celebratory. My fave thing about this particular cultural offshoot, which I grew up in, is that you can play all the Dutch-language songs you could ever want without anyone bothering to so much as hum the tune… but the second you play a song in my dialect is the second you get the whole crowd singing along. Something about poetic expression? Yeah.

when did you join the hbo war fandom? what was the first show you watched?

In 2020! At least, that’s when I immersed into the fandom here on Tumblr and watched Band of Brothers/The Pacific back-to-back. Gen Kill was actually my first, though, as I’d read that book some years before and watched that one without fandom-dipping first.

have you read any of easy company’s books? if so, which ones were your favorite?

Yes! Bill & Babe’s book is so nice.

favorite hbo war character and your favorite moment with them?

*inhales* Speirs. Night time, speech time. Local forest cryptid says shady shit about war, more at eleven. I’ll never be normal about him so.

do you make content for any fandoms, if so; what sort of content?

Fun fact: I usually advocate against using the term ‘content’ when describing creative pursuits, for reasons I’m not gonna get into right now because that’s a rant for when I’m feeling particularly feisty. That said, I’m a writer and gifmaker. I’m more known for the latter, but the former is where my heart really lies.

favorite actor/actress and your favorite film of theirs?

I have a few favorites that’re way up there in terms of how mesmerizing they are, but I’m going to mention one that isn’t mentioned nearly enough: Tom Pelphrey. Truly one of the most captivating actors of our time. He tends to do TV shows more than movies – please, look up his monologue from Ozark if you have a moment – and so I get to rec Banshee to y’all while I’m at it. He’s amazing in that.

favorite quote/s that you wish to share with others?

Look, I’ve lived by the words “seize the day because tomorrow you might be dead” for years now. I think it originated in Buffy, but I’ve adopted it and it’s mine now. Life wisdom from yours truly, boom.

random fact your mutuals/followers don’t know about you?

I’m really into astronomy, outer space, etc.

if you’re a writer, do you need a beta reader?

I used to have beta readers back when I started writing, yeah, so I’m not gonna advocate against using one. Sometimes you need that extra pair of eyes, that nitpicking, that moment of being confronted with your own hubris. I’m my own beta at this point in my writing journey, but I still have a group of people around me who get first dibs on reading my stuff because I trust they’ll give it to me straight and pick out any lingering idiocies on my end. Which doesn’t stop me from shoving something onto the internet that has never seen an edit a day in its life, ahem.

three things that make you smile?

Put me near an alpaca and watch my face brighten, I dare ya. Also big fan of bookstores. Even bigger fan of AO3’s notification mails for fic reviews.

any nicknames you like?

Killy’s my most-used nickname, and we’re vibing!

list some people you love to see around on tumblr!

If I follow you, I love to see ya. That’s just how this thing works. But I’m gonna shout out my writing-and-life-support crew here because without them I would be nowhere much at all: @mercurygray, @junojelli, @shoshiwrites, @arethosedustyjumpwings. You lot are the real deal who’ve stuck to me like glue, and that means so much more than words can say.

what would you do during a zombie apocalypse?

Look, I have a zombie survival plan drawn up in my head but it essentially involves not being near people ever again. Because we’ve gone through a pandemic now and I don’t trust people to follow quarantine instructions or anything else that mildly inconveniences them. So. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, I’m sorry in advance, I’m gonna cry-scream-piñatapunch my way through any and all stupidity. If you see me running, please know I’m being chased because there’s no other way you’ll ever see me running voluntarily.

favourite movie?

Singin’ In The Rain. This needs no further explanation.

do you like horror movies?

Yes and no. I do not vibe with horror movies that get really gory for the sake of shock value. Can’t do it, won’t do it. But I’m a biiiiiiig fan of the final girl trope, I can’t go a day without pondering vampires, and I really love old horror movies and the progression of horror stories throughout the years. It’s fascinating to me to see how specific types of horror interact with the history/culture of that time it was created in: horror is never created in a vacuum, and its storytelling beats are so inspirational.

#tagging game

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ethernetmeep · 2 months ago

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i take the fact of being someones crush very wholeheartedly. even when it was back in a time i thought it was all fake, 6th or 7th grade, i still remember the person who told me they liked me for the first time. they had long curly brown hair. we shared a science class. they specifically shipped sans & papyrus.. only remember this because it was a focal point of theirs. would frequently make sexual remarks on artwork i made not inherently made to be sexual at lunch. i was uncomfortable, but you don’t know how to say that yet.

i distinctly remember they sent me a message on instagram about it & i replied with how appreciative i was of the sentiment, but ultimately didn’t reciprocate. i asked them to truly ponder their feelings, asking if it was because of something they liked about me truly or it was just the factor of me being one of the few people to treat them nicely and like a person. i believe they handled it okay. i hope they did. i held the topic with the most care i could muster at that age.

i think when you don’t deal with the topic with nuance it can scar the other person, even if its accidental & especially if it is the first of its kind. as daunting as it is, everyones actions affect others in certain ways. theres a sort of emotional intelligence to the matter that is hard to grasp for many. i am lucky enough to know this intelligence well & try my best to tread the line.

i guess i write about this topic now because i listened to a song & a piece of writing resurfaced from my past which was extremely indicative of the feeling. i was a late bloomer. i no longer like the song in the title, but reading it fills me with an odd sort of euphoria whilst simultaneously making me grimace. its odd how writing can be so oxymoronic. how can you like something yet hate it so? a question for another time.

i don’t have a way to end this.

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matt-the-second-coming · 1 year ago

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Gots tagged by @fan-mans !

1: Three Ships

My top ships always change depending on my mood and vibes of the day but currently, its-

1. BowUigi - I shipped them together since middle school, and when I told my friends about the ship they called it dumb - Not knowing years later it’ll be the biggest ship of 2023

2. Cheesecake (Noisette/Vigilante) I like it both for its angst and comedic potential.

3. Lately been digging into Great Tiger/Aran Ryan (Seen people call them CatNip before but unsure if that's their ship name). I just like a good friends to lovers deal :p

2: First Ever Ship

God, the earliest I remember is - as embarrassing as it sounds - Chica and Bonnie from FNAF. I’m sure there’s an early one but this was the one I remember the most. Unsure how it started really did know that this ship is what introduced me to the existence of furries so take that what you will.

I do remember my first queer ship and it was Bush Medicine [Sniper n Medic] - I absolutely shipped these two together, I drew them constantly in sketchbooks n school notebooks and, more horrifying, homework. It’s a blessing I never got in trouble. I’m sure if I dig through one of my sketchbooks from middle school one of the first things I’ll see is Bush Medicine. Still like it though Im more of a SolDic guy now of days

3: Last Song

Currently been listening to The Offspring and their songs. I think the last one of theirs I listened to was Self Esteem

4: Last Film

I wanna say … Return to Oz (1985). Good mixture of spooky and fun.

5: Currently Reading

I go on and off reading but currently been reading, Fanfiction wise: Spoken, Not Said by FarmHandler: a nice slow burn Hades fic holding me over till Hades 2 comes out. As for physical copies I been reading Good Omens - had the book for a long time collecting dust so I been reading that whenever I have nothing to do.

6: Currently Watching

I think the most recent show I watched is Hajime no Ippo

7: Currently Consuming

Been sick so my dinner for the last few days have just been apple sauce.

8: Currently Craving

I would kill a man for a decent frozen pizza.

#my posts

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razzmothazz · 9 months ago

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fuck it. more oc rambles but its all just random things i thought of

Makoto is a huge kikuo fan!!! also speaking of his music taste, i imagine that if he ever finds n25s music he will also love it and be a fan :3 he mostly listens to weird/obscure/sad[ish?] stuff, but one day he overheard someone talk about mmj and decided to check them out, cause he never rlly knew/was into an idol group before and wanted to see what those are about. he fell in love IMMEDIATELY. he felt a comforting warmth in his chest when he listened to them and became a huge fan of their music!!

it took him a while to actually get the hang of the idol thing, but after being very stupid [/aff] about it on his blog people explained it to him HSHDHDIDH. he decided haruka is his fave simply cause she seemed the most put together and thats the kind of people he admires, but as he got deeper into the fandom(i guess u can call it that??) and learnt more about the idols he started sharing the same respect for all of them! haruka is still his favourite tho tee hee.

speaking of haruka! he actually met her AFTER he became a fan by chance and it was the most awkward thing ever. he was waiting for his sister in front of the girls school and saw her walking by, she noticed him and complimented his earring and he just. gave it to her. his mind bluescreened and so it seemed like the most reasonable reaction to an idol complimenting you on something.is to just. give it to them???? he did mention hes a fan tho, so she accepted the gift sjjdjdhskdhfb you can imagine his face when he saw minori run over to haruka after she walked away from that awkward interaction of theirs. he was SHOCKED.

oh yeah ive decided also that he has a part-time job at a music store his family owns! his grandma is the owner so he helps out there a lot, and is also how he met shiho!! she would come around there quite often so they ended up chatting a lot and eventually became friends :3 it took a while tho since theyre both not that talkative, but eventually bonded over their taste in music amd instruments. they often send eachother song recommendations :3

his work at the shop also led him to be close with an! Ken would often get equipment from them and sometimes an would go with him or get stuff by herself, either buying new stuff or sending something for repairs and whatnot. they knew eachother for a few years, and when he learned she makes her own music he was very excited for her and would often watch her perform, later cheering her on when she was part of vbs [which is how he got to know kohane, akito and toya]. he admires how hard working and responsible she is and sees her and ken as family :3

AND SPEAKING OF VBS- he found himself getting along with toya very quickly, since theyre similar in many ways! they enjoy hanging out at weekend garage and just peacefully drinking tea/coffee in comfortable silence, which others find. a bit odd. they have mutual respect for eachother and find the others presence calming.

when it comes to akito tho... they dont exactly get along. makoto is very chill, but something about akito and his temper kinda bugs him.. he sees him as somewhat responsible but way too impulsive and competitive, hes still nice and doesnt comment on those things because akito seems to be a great friend to vbs and is definitely not a horrible person or anything. basically not annoying enough to get worked up about it but annoying enough to just Not Enjoy His Presence All That Much. not like akito likes makoto much either, he kinda sees makoto as a guy that has no backbone and finds him quite boring. however they have something of a mutual respect of The Grind. if you will.

wow im rlly just going on and on here okay last one to finish off the vbs thing!!! kohane!! makoto doesnt spend much time with her but an talks about her a lot, and from her words shes an amazing friend and partner, so he has a lot of respect for her!! whoever makes an this happy will get his admiration and respect, not to mention he sees how hard kohane works too and thinks thats amazing :3

okay thats all for now im back to being normal [not]

#pjsk oc #pjsk

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bonesandthebees · 1 year ago

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ello I just wanted the say how much I love your back from the dead playlist

ive been listening to it all the time ever since you made it and it wont leave my brain

im absolutely obsessed with at least half the sonsg in it I swear

the vibes itself are perfect, as always with your playlists (mandatory shout out to honey and tangerines playlist)

its literally cwilbur vibes or just "close to death" vibes in general which is cool in itself

my dad even said its a really nice and chill playlist to have in the background while working and that means a lot coming from him

and than theres the lyrics

I didnt even notice at first but there are so many lyrics fitting for cwil, ccrime and the lore, while still not disturbing the vibes

it gives me SUCH A STRONG cwilbur brainrot, like not many things these days can do so thanks for that, its very precious to me

when I have the national in my top artists on spotify wrapped its gonna be your fault

(on that note if you have any more the national songs recommendations im all ears)

aaaa thank you this means so much to hear!! I'm really proud of that playlist I think I really captured c!wilbur's vibe with most of those songs. obsessed with the fact that even your dad listens to it lol I'm very glad you both enjoy it

usually with fic playlists I don't pay too much attention to the lyrics, but for the cwilbur playlist I definitely focused on lyrics a lot more and found some really great songs that fit him. it definitely helps that most songs by the national fit cwilbur to a ridiculous degree so

(I'm so glad I'm spreading the national agenda) (and yes I absolutely do have recs)

alphabet city is a recent release of theirs, absolutely obsessed with it so far

alien is probably my second favorite off their latest album (tropic morning news if my top favorite but that's on the cwilbur playlist so)

mistaken for strangers is an older song of theirs that I didn't hear until a few months back and I got obsessed with it immediately it's such a fun sound

I wanted to put humiliation on the cwilbur playlist just for the vibes but the lyrics don't really fit and I tried to put a lot of focus on lyrics for that playlist... still it's a fantastic song

hope you enjoy those!

#ask #jiksvokrat #music recs

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afamineinyourheart · 11 months ago

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aaaa I'm so glad! DM have such beautiful sultry songs; I love how Martin when asked about lyrics is like 'it's about sex.' but the interviewer is trying to find some other meaning (half of the genius lyrics annotations online is2g) so I just love those unabashedly slutty guys. Gahan's voice influenced my own singing so much growing up hearing my mom's cassette tapes in the car when I finally had my partner listen to them with me she was like 'huh. baby you sing like that' and I was like. fair. Since I have a smoother baritone and love riding that lower register. I will say you also have Martin Gore-core aesthetics in some of your photos, there's one of you with the bleach blond hair all sticking up that made me think that, I should have put two and two together then! It's a really nice picture too 👀👀👀.

Did you get to see them on this leg of the tour? I missed out because ticket scalpers are absolutely evil in my area. I enjoyed how the new album gave some Violator vibes, too, in terms of some sounds. I'm on a big sounds of the universe and playing the angel kick right now for my shuffles. Do you have a favorite album or songs??? (This is not very coherent I apologize, I am languishing in bed)

ok im so so so glad that you are not just a DM fan but a DM nerd like i am

hearing someone say i have "martin gore-core" vibes in my photos is like PROBLY one of the biggest compliments ever.

I also love all of their lyrics; tbh every lyric from their first album to songs of faith and devotion i headcanon as either all about BDSM or homoeroticism and or BOTH!!! songs actually about drugs? naw its about gay and or kinky sex.

I love singing to DM cos (at least when dave isn't going FULL FORCE) its easy to sing to cos he's got such a low voice.

YKW I really tried to listen to the new album a few times and it wasn't my thing- but that's because I feel like it is very mature for them and the music production in the modern era is just a different monster than it was back then when it was more experimental. But I liked it non-the less. It just isn't something I go back to often.

I got to see them for the first time back in April or May in Montreal and it was magical. I wish they would have played more off of music for the masses (my fave of theirs) but regardless it was fantastic and dave's sexy lil moves were soooo funny and cute. I love that they still got big spirit and energy.

#anon you are too cool for your own good #get over here and give me a hug and we'll talk about depeche mode all night

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iodotsys · 1 year ago

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Exactly! I think exposing yourself to new music even if you end up not liking it is a huge part of learning what you do like too! (Also it's super cool that you're looking for inspiration for your own band!!)

Prob my last little batch for ya bc I'm at work:

Do It All The Time by IDK How

Ghost by Confetti

Lowlife by Poppy

The Moss by Cosmo Sheldrake

Wasted Summers by Juju<3

This is Love by Air Traffic Controller

Do It All The Time by IDK How But They Found Me

The distortion (I believe its tube distortion I very well could be wrong though) on the vocals throughout the song felt like a bit too much. The melody didn't go anywhere, but it had a good beat. I have heard this song before and I don't think its one of the band's best. I don't really like this song much, just sounds produced for the radio. 5/10.

Ghost by Confetti

Sorta plain, sounds like a lot of songs I've heard. Definitely has a good beat, but not much going on with the song musically. Was enjoyable to listen to but again, it sounds like a lot of other songs out there, especially from the mid 2010's. 6/10.

Lowlife by Poppy

I have a love/hate relationship with Poppy. I have a few of their songs favorited. This is not one of the songs of theirs I like. I do enjoy how her voice is the melody for this song against a backtrack, but their voice is mixed far infront of the backtrack. It drowns it out. And there are times where their voice just stays on one note, which is a little painful to listen to. 4/10, kinda hurt my ears.

The Moss by Cosmo Sheldrake

Didn't like, its spreading false information with the first lyric. Moss does not grow on the North side of trees. …fjrdkghsjkl Sorry I had to say that. XDD Anyhow, I enjoyed the up and down feel of this. I felt like I was listening to a vocal metronome, if that makes sense? Made me wanna tap my finger on the table to the beat. I enjoyed it, but I wouldn't listen to it again. 5/10

Wasted Summers by Juju<3

This song reminds me of old 90's Blur. The voice singing super off key in the background was annoying and ruined the song for me. Would've been a nice chill song otherwise. Other than that, the guitar rift was alright, nothing special though. 3/10 because of those backup vocals.

This is Love by Air Traffic Controller

The synth in this was very good. I loved the fluttering sound it had going from left to right. The pulsing sound of the vocals really went with the background synth. The singing off beat at the end was off putting though. It came out of no where and took me out of the groove of the song. I think he was doing a 1/2 meter against a 4/4 which was just strange sounding. (I don't know if those are the correct meters, but I did my best trying to analyze them) 5/10, it was alright.

No seriously, this type of stuff can be imperative as a musician. If I only stew in things I constantly listen to, that's damning myself to stagnate artistically. And thanks! My band's called Scent of Steam. I just released my first album this April and I've got a new single coming out on Sept 30th.

If you're curious, here's the link to my album. You can listen if you so desire, but nbd if not.

Thanks again for the songs! I enjoyed reviewing them.

#i review music

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elytrafemme · 2 years ago

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MÅNESKIN SPECIFICALLY and im enabling u but bc i want it u knoe

OKAY OKAY. Be normal mare we've been preparing this <- she is batshit crazy over måneskin

I will do my best to give a variety of styles but also keep this list on the shorter side :>

FOR YOUR LOVE - English song, one of my go-to Måneskin recs. the guitar line is very iconic-- it''s not exactly like what you've heard before, but it feels familiar anyway. not the most show-stopping lyricism, but EXTREMELY catchy-- very good bassline + drumline. overall up there on my faves, safe choice imo (but i might be off)

CORALINE - Italian song, the song that got me into them <3 has a sweet into, nothing particularly intense, before going into an instrumental section that begins to build it. the heart of this song is in the more raw vocals and stronger instrumentals that come through next. very exceptional display of the drummer's skill & has a nice meaning <3

BABY SAID - English song and the most pop they get, imo. still definitely rock but leans more into a standard pop formula. hits a diff register of Damiano's voice that's a little less rough but still equally as skilled, extremely catchy. got into it more after the first few listens

GASOLINE - English song, one of my top 3 favorites. this is their anti-war anthem-- it has a thick, commanding bass, an exceptional guitar solo, and a very strong rock energy behind it. it's unique to their other songs but full of a LOT of passion and the kind of song to get your blood thrumming. my instant favorite off the album, except for maybe MARK CHAPMAN, which i wont include here but can talk about later

TIMEZONE - English song, one of the three main 'ballad'-type songs off of RUSH! I like this one because the emotions of it really carry through and it feels like one of their most heartfelt pieces imo. the guitar starts out very gentle but when you get to the chorus there's a lot more drive in all the instrumentals and vocals and it feels more desperate. love love love this one

Torna a casa - Italian song, my favorite of theirs (though my favorites shift often, this one has been consistent thus far). definitely one of their quieter songs-- starts with no drums and very muted guitar and bass playing, just quiet vulnerable singing. builds up to the first chorus which is still just as sweet sounding. drums come in and it begins to gain more volume and fervency into the second verse, even though similar lyrics and themes repeat it feels more raw almost? and then you get hit with the bridge. the instrumentals get very loud but they fade in and out to center the vocals, which sound like someone's desperately pleading, fades out again for the last chorus which has REALLY gorgeous harmonies. i don't do it justice but i really encourage listening to a live recording if you decide you like it because it's fucking beautiful. i love GASOLINE for its pure heart and rock core, but i love torna a casa because its just fucking beautiful, honestly. even if you don't get all the words you feel like you're going through a fucking journey.

okay this got very long sorry. i could talk about all these songs forever

#nightmare.ask

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shadowetienne · 1 year ago

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I saw you did a Dreamcatcher song opinions post and was wondering if you wanted to do more groups. The boyz perhaps? If so, here’s some summer songs by them you could check out: thrill ride, sweet, water, bloom bloom, whisper, summer time or you could pick only a few if that’s too many songs to do

I adore The Boyz and have actively followed them since debut (my biases are Ju Haknyeon and New, and probably also Q but I'm still admitting this to myself). They hover right outside my top 5 favorite boy groups. I'm happy to give you thoughts on some of their songs though!

Thrill Ride

I love this song for how catchy and bouncy it is. It's not one of my absolute favorite songs from them, but it's on several of my playlists and I listen to it regularly.

Sweet

Don't listen to this as often as Thrill Ride, but the rhythmic elements of this song are so fun!

Water

Similar to Sweet this isn't a song of theirs I listen to a ton, but I love its chill vibes, and I love New's lines in the song especially.

Bloom Bloom

This is one of my favorite songs in their entire discography. It's on a bunch of my playlists. It started playing in my head when I saw the title. And it will likely now be stuck in my head. Have I mentioned that I love New's voice?

Whisper

This is another favorite song, also the comeback where Q basically went have you considered that I might also be one of your biases in The Boyz. There is an amazing three part harmony moment near the end of the song that I love. It's fun and catchy overall. Also not about the song itself but I am very weak to New with a bunny in the MV.

Summer Time

Like Sweet and Water, this isn't one I listen to a ton, but I do enjoy it. It's a nice chill summer vibes song. It's interesting listening to it right after a newer song because they were already good back when this was released, but they've developed so much vocally!

I'm always open to talking about music and songs that I like or that I'm exploring. I apparently need to post about some groups I love more often though.

#talk to me #anon #The Boyz #they do really great summer vibes songs

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newmusickarl · 2 years ago

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youtube

Top 50 Albums of 2022

13. Two Ribbons by Let’s Eat Grandma

After their highly experimental and quite brilliant debut I, Gemini, the duo of Rosa Walton and Jenny Hollingworth had started to find their footing, delivering their exceptional sophomore album I’m All Ears in 2018 to rapturous acclaim. With dazzling tracks like Falling Into Me and epic 10-minute closer Donnie Darko, it stormed its way into numerous year-end lists, including my own Top 5 of 2018. Now whilst this one places a few spots lower down, this euphoric third record from the synth-pop outfit is possibly even better than its predecessor.

In the years between their second and third albums, life has hit the young duo (who are still incredibly only in their early 20s) quite hard. In 2019, Hollingworth tragically lost her boyfriend to a rare form of bone cancer before producer SOPHIE, who they collaborated with on their singles for I’m All Ears, also passed away in tragic circumstances just last year. The pair themselves have also been quite open about the heavy toll the period took on their friendship, with discussions of even calling the band quits and going their separate ways. Thankfully they didn’t, instead emerging this year with their most accomplished work to date.

Whilst the experimentation of their debut and sprawling epics of I’m All Ears may be missing, the duo have still managed to deliver the goods, this time in the form of a polished, profound and just utterly joyous synth-pop record. In equal parts, it is an emotional, heartbreaking meditation on death and grief, but also an uplifting celebration of life and enduring friendship. There are profound moments that will leave you with the biggest lump in your throat, and others that will have you ecstatically dancing and jumping around your front room.

Opener Happy New Year is definitely the latter, a single that was timely dropped on January 1st and has incredibly remained one of the best songs of the year ever since that very moment. With pulsating, trance-inspired synths, it is an utterly infectious party anthem about the pair’s own friendship with each other. With New Year’s Eve coming up, I am officially pushing for it to replace Auld Lang Syne this year and every year now going forward.

Levitation is another upbeat track that continues the momentum nicely, before album highlight Watching You Go delivers the first real gut-punch. As synths whirr in the background, Hollingworth hauntingly and honestly sings of her grief in what is a really beautiful moment, with some serious emotional heft carried by her stunning vocal performance.

Following the horn-backed, shimmering majesty of single Hall of Mirrors, the buzzing guitars of Insect Loop offer another hard-hitting moment, with emotions of anger and guilt simply pouring out of the track. Sunday and Strange Conversations both also stir and dazzle, before stripped-back single and title track Two Ribbons closes proceedings. With just Hollingworth’s voice and gentle, raw guitar strums, the final song of the record is another that pulls on the heartstrings, capturing “the isolating experience of grieving, our powerlessness in the face of death, and the visceral emotions of grief.”

As much as I adore I’m All Ears, I think the strong thematic core and emotional hit of Two Ribbons leans me into thinking this is my favourite project of theirs so far. A simply stunning record that sees the young duo tackle their frustration and grief with creativity and grace – coming out the other side stronger and better than ever.

Best tracks: Happy New Year, Watching You Go, Insect Loop

Listen here

#new music #best new music #albums of the year #album recommendation #album of the year #best of 2022 #best of the year #aoty #aoty 2022 #best albums of 2022 #albums of 2022 #let's eat grandma #happy new year #two ribbons #Youtube

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jackalsinthekitchen · 9 months ago

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pop report #6 (billboard 200, week of 2/3/2024)

on dicks, or things that sound like them

I’ve mentioned it before, but my late buddy and I had a different relationship with the pop charts. I was raised – digesting the star-ratings in my dad’s giant album guides like gospel – to distrust the pop cultural world around me. I always felt out of step (like that girl in the Onion article) with the trends of my time; I was always making heroes out of bygone artists out of step with theirs. My bestie similarly distrusted new culture – it being the early 2000s, what was popular was often mean-spirited and overly prefab. But an odd affection for numbers (innate) and a higher tolerance for boomer-sanctioned fluff (instilled) made him pleased as peaches to ride around to the local oldies station. We doubled down on our anachronisms in a bunker of a band, but when we broke up and stepped separately into daylight, we each had new pop epiphanies. Because somewhere between ‘07 and ‘13, radio music got juicy.

Strong melodies are rarely in short supply, but other things had been adjusted. Hip-hop and pop production became indiscernible, the hook emphasis and contrapuntal construction of the latter absorbing the atmospheric and rhythmic virtues of the former. Spearheaded by artists like Lady Gaga and Beyoncé, women (many non-white) took pop over, tamping down indie tumors like Mumford and Sons and keeping the bros at bay. The most conventional such superstar, Taylor Swift, opened her music and mind to the new sonic fashions, while maintaining her foundation of catchy, emotionally inhabitable songs. A vision of a braver, more equitable world felt represented on the radio, and it was a trip to listen to. With digital production outgrowing its ungainly hallmarks, everything started to sound a little like a dream, and by six or seven years ago, what most people wanted to listen to was wonderful.

But pendulums have a way of swinging back, and while I can’t put my finger on what’s changing, I’m at least equipped to note a few data points and go hmmm. For instance: the top five albums currently perching atop Billboard’s 200 chart are by male artists. I’m a lot less savvy when it comes to analyzing the album charts, in some part because my friend talked about them less than the song charts. It’s often a mixed bag of rap platters, country platters, pop platters, soundtrack platters and evergreen old faves (Thriller; Rumours; Queen’s greatest hits; Elton John’s greatest hits; these days every Taylor Swift album). But with the influx of country bros up said charts – who as far as I’m concerned are always named Luke or Zach, even when they’re named Blake or Chris – you wonder why the Eagles’ Greatest Hits isn’t the hotcake it once was.

It bears mentioning that none of country-pop (much less country)’s women – Taylor Swift hasn’t counted for a while – are selling like the dudes are. I mused a few blogs ago that MAGA might partially account for the whitest genre’s ascendence, but if I’m being cynical I could go bigger. The resistance #metoo engendered (as progress does) obviously includes more than just the red hats. Not that I figure All Men are bulk-buying Morgan Wallen CDs solely out of spite, but it’s hard to imagine any mild-mannered or self-reflective men even streaming him. “Last Night” is one of many smashes he’s racked up to date. His country-rock is inflected with a steely pop sheen, and beefed up with rap-adjacent beats, not to mention a looser and less laconic vernacular than Southern-drawl singers are usually armed with. But that cocky song and its album were each the #1 sellers of 2023, which seems a shame when the best stuff (“Anti-Hero”, “Kill Bill”, “Flowers”, any Barbie single) came, yet again, from the better side of the battle of the sexes.

Unrefined as he may be, Wallen isn’t a menace – if grassroots red meat like “Rich Men North of Richmond” was always on top, things would be less nice. But he does seem likea dick, and it’s a shame when dicks win. Wallen’s album isn’t at #1 anymore, and I’m not super familiar with superseder 21 Savage’s work – though he was half of Drake’s sus Her Loss, which definitely had an indulgent-resentment-of-women vibe. And although from the opening monologue, his album American Dream codes sincere (sincere almost never being preferable), it’s nice in theory to have an album called American Dream at #1 when that album is by a Black hip-hop artist making no overt pop concessions. Anyway, like I said, I haven’t given it sufficient attention, and maybe it’s great. But it’s not revolutionary I’ll betcha, and a scan of the reviews solidifies this enough for me to write all this on my blog without worrying about doing 21 Savage too dirty.

Wallen’s album is at #2 – on the charts for the 47th week. I wonder, without caring to do the work to find out, if its preeminence is comparable to that of Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, enduring bestseller Elton John’s half-century-old blockbuster. That was a 2-LP set with 17 songs, and because Elton was the biggest artist in the pop music galaxy at that time, it listed for $5 more than a normal LP ($6.98). Wallen’s albums always contain something like 200 songs, so in theory, that spiffs up his sales. Also, his occasional loose tongue (“take care of this n*****”) and the “I’m a jerk but you love me” aura hallmarking his biggest hits almost definitely guarantees a dose of racists and douchebags in his audience share. But you don’t get to #1 without a portion of your constituency being honest-to-goodness Very Fine People. Then again, a lot of people sit out elections – just like Ariana says, “in case you haven’t noticed/everybody’s tired”.

Drake’s latest is #3, and while the title and imagery of For All the Dogs is less self-celebratorily male than Her Loss, it’s still a bad look from a distance. Drake really is the Elton John of his generation – every one of his albums and mixtapes and “playlists” has gone #1 on the Billboard 200, except the very early So Far Gone (#5 pop, #1 elsewhere) and something called Dark Lane Demo Tapes (#2 pop, #1 elsewhere). His reign has just about tripled John’s heyday (though the double-disc compilation Diamonds wouldn’t be a perpetual top 40 staple if John didn’t have decades’ worth of hits to his name). Though when his streak began, it was the Degrassi alum’s sheer niceness that set him apart – to where, when he came on strong to nominal work friends Nicki Minaj and Rihanna, you had to stifle a smirk – he’s been on something of a Dark Aubrey kick for a while. His flow remains a highly agreeable sound, but the charm’s been low (which is never Jay-Z’s problem), and his invention has never been strong enough to counterbalance it.

Next is Green Day. Green Day! A band, with guitars! At this point Green Day are an American institution, at a level above many of their diverse bands-with-guitars ‘90s peers – it doesn’t seem likely Billy Corgan, for instance, will be asked to turn one of his concept albums into a Broadway musical anytime soon. The band’s staying power, although they capitalized on fashionable liberal resistance and indie-derived pretentiousness with American Idiot, can be chalked up to the fact that they’ve always been more of a pop band than a punk band. But coming on like a punk band still helps. “The American Dream* is Killing Me”, Saviors’ opener, couches its good old-fashioned generalized protest in generic, Beatley melodics, and couches that in hard-within-reason guitars. The Tik Tok time-warping that tosses aging acts up the charts is heartening. Whether or not Saviors is good, Green Day feel like old-guard underdogs now, or at least old friends.

Rounding out our Penis Quintet is Noah Kahan’s Stick Season, the indie-boy fluke du jour. Every once in a while, people want to open the window of the pop palace we’re living in to more organic styles, e.g. the Green Day pop-punk model. When indie started really selling in this country, it wasn’t the soundscaping experimentalists or mordant wordsmiths – it was the real teary-eyed and sincere (wuh oh)-sounding people, leading up to people like the Lumineers, who lived at the crossroads between Arcade Fire and Mumford & Sons, and had about as much depth as the Archies but pretended otherwise. You can hear why Kahan is setting himself apart – the unconventional tinge in his voice helps lend a unique air to his lyrics, which are also unconventionally tinged. This isn’t the same as “clear-eyed” or “incisive”, though (much less mordant); the trick is to make you think you’re hearing something more outside the box than you are, which on the pop charts is sometimes just outside the box enough to be compelling. Nevertheless, he doesn’t seem like a dick – his music is as nice as it sounds, and his words’ heart is in the right place despite the weakness of the sauce. They aren’t very funny, but Kahan certainly is, at least when he’s talking about sunflower seed shells.

The rest of the top ten discontinues the pattern. Taylor bookends – #6 is her latest, which happens to be the long-awaited, marginally-differentiated re-recording of the album that launched her into pop super-stardom. Nothing she says isn’t calculated, but she’s right to tout her own prescience in the liner notes. There was liberation as well as mercenary benefit in roping pop into her music, in all its Nashville-bucking, cybernetic glory – and using the tradition of sexualized pop stars as a vehicle to amplify her rich-young-woman-about-town themes. But if 1989 wasn’t a money move (it was, at least a little), 1989 (Taylor’s Version) begins in that category. I note that “Is it Over Now”, her 9000th hit, has more of a self-repetitive vibe than usual. Then there’s Lover at #10 – on the wings of “Cruel Summer”, surely. The notoriously sunny album, brimming with shrewder pop gestures than her more consciously “artistic” last three, increasingly hits like a pre-COVID time capsule if not balm.

In between are two girls and a guy. #7 is last year’s from SZA, an always thoughtful, rarely compromising album auteur whose music rides that line between art and commerce better than most. #9 is country’s best example of same – the self-titled from Zach Bryan, foremost among the Luke and Blake crop as a singer and writer even if he’s no Tyler Childers in either department. Sandwiched between at #8 is Pink Friday 2, sequel to an album that back in 2010 felt like the shape of things to come. Well before huffers and puffers tread on the toes Taylor was dipping into pop waters, Nicki was getting slammed for loving pop and showing it. Now Pink Friday is regarded as the kind of classic none of her subsequent albums, which are always overlong and (how do I safely say this) temperamentally disagreeable, can hope to measure up to. Back around PF1, her verbal invention and shapeshifting ubiquity had me thinking, rockistly, “new Dylan”. Well: she wasn’t. But I’m glad she’s still selling some records.

I never turned my observation of the top five’s all-sausage status into a hypothesis; I’m not really good at hypotheses. But I wonder if there’s also a connection to the #1 song in the country right now, which is by Jack Harlow and is called “Lovin’ On Me”. On sight, Harlow is like a post-Post Malone, a beardy, dirtbaggy-looking white guy who’s sort of hip-hop and sort of not, and he’s been a big star for a minute. (My editor: “he doesn’t look like he has a stylist… or a shower, maybe.”) Like Drake, his flow has a downtempo, low-effort-seductive quality, and he’s possibly hotter than Post Malone – you can sort of see why Dua Lipa dated him, even if it took him putting out a million-selling mash note called “Dua Lipa” and it doesn’t look like it worked out. But I have to admit, I just don’t understand why “Lovin’ on Me” is number one. It’s one of those club-style songs so totally unmelodic it almost feels like an insult, and though “I’m vanilla baby/I’ll choke you but I ain’t a killer baby” is more on the gentlemanly side than is common for this playa-hype stuff, the attitude and verbiage are mostly not mold-breaking.

That line does give me pause; if your partner wants to be choked, and consent is properly brokered, then obliging is not only nice, but, lovin’, even. And while the chorus is a rejection, not an embrace, of BDSM predilections, it still hinges on “you can’t tie me down”, an age-old I’m-a-man-and-I-can-do-what-I-want trope. If American elections have proven anything, it’s that Americans don’t always pay careful attention to what they’re giving power to. The single’s lyric is all over the place (“I keep it short with a bitch, Lord Farquaad”), but one thing it is not is self-effacing. So maybe “Lovin’ on Me” is the druggy-hangout or night-at-the-strip-club soundtrack staple of the moment – for the kind of white bro who likes to pretend he’s (his idea of) a Black bro, or for Black bros united with them via sexism and taste for a certain sound. It’s also worth entertaining that, given its current primacy, a number of women like the song too.

I know it’s dumb and dangerous to speculate along dichotomous demographics (he says, right after doing just that). I remember quizzing my Black Lyft driver about his passion for Luke Combs’ “Fast Car”, which he did not know was a Tracy Chapman song and did not listen closely to enough to hear Combs refer to himself as a “checkout girl”. Instead, he felt drawn to it because of the nature of the narrator’s care, the I’ll-do-whatever-it-takes-for-us of it all. The reasons people love the music they love are often more visceral than complex. It’s not only conceivable but inevitable that “Lovin’ on Me”, by a white rapper who’s on record as a BLM supporter and has been praised for his self-interrogation, appeals to otherwise irreconcilable categories of listeners. But not the category I’m in, which is something like “well-intentioned, open-hearted, bi-vibes older millennial who loves music more than anything.”

Men are people too; I’m one, albeit a self-hating one. And lest I slip into misandry, let me concede that some forms of male aggro do relate to necessary strength, rather than the typical insecurity/emotional avoidance/urge to violence. Hip-hop’s strivers are economic cousins to Nashville’s nouveau riche, because some class disadvantages necessitate hardness to thrive and provide. Inherited toxicities can enflame this already combustible component something awful, but DJ Khaled (for example) insisting he deserves oral sex but his wife doesn’t because he puts food on the table (“ya gotta understand, I’m the king, I’m the don”, he actually said, not in a song but an interview) is an especially low bar. But men sometimes do live up to their projected strength – and there are times when what they’ve got is just what somebody needs. Looking askance at any consensus, like what song or album the biggest number of people are listening to, is a slippery slope if you don’t try to understand it first. Still, I’m playing American Dream right now, and still not sure how it’s won over this many people.

Maybe there's another key to what’s going on here. Many of today’s top hits are het-up and horny, just like “Lovin On Me” – Tate McRae’s “Greedy” (#3) which is plenty feminist, or Teddy Swims’ “Lose Control” (#4), a different twist on America’s main racial binary (country-looking white dude belts out barn-burning gospel/soul), or Tyla’s blissfully lubricious “Water” (#11). So maybe that’s why people keep banging “Lovin’ On Me”, which is also the first hit single since Rihanna’s “S&M” a bajillion years ago to turn on the phrase “whips and chains”. The cold is keeping people indoors, and Harlow’s hit is giving them ideas, so they’re jamming to it. Not here to knock your love, America: you fuck to what you wanna fuck to. But maybe being a straight man (ugh) is why I just can’t get it up, be it on a dancefloor or behind closed doors, to anyone who comes on like a dick.

*not the 21 Savage album

#jack harlow #21 savage #morgan wallen #drake #green day #noah kahan #taylor swift #sza #zach bryan #nicki minaj

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