#and i was like oh. must be my internet being weird. that's fine

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

is anyone else having trouble with images/videos loading on tumblr currently....

[munsonsmixtapes]

Hi I hope you are having a great day.

I was wondering if you could write more about Eddie Munson dating a Swiftie.

- Swiftie anon

um yes absolutely!

I saw a tiktok where a girl was showing her boyfriend All Too Well (10 Minute Version) which is what this was inspired by. If I can find it, I'll link it here!

"So this one is allegedly about Jake Gyllenhall," you tell him as you put on the next song, turning it up since it's the one you really to see his reaction to.

"How do you know this?"

"The internet, baby. That's why I say allegedly because there's no actual confirmation that it's about him, but I mean, it's pretty clear that it is."

"This is ten minutes?" He asks as he looks at the little screen in his car that shows what song is playing.

Sure, a lot of the songs he listens to are much longer than that, but that's expected with the genres he listens to. It's not very common for a pop song to exceed five minutes so he thinks there must be a lot that needs to be said.

"Yes," you nod. "But I promise it won't even feel like. Oh, and there's a short film as well that we can watch later."

"A short film?"

Eddie doesn't know why that surprises him. Considering everything he's heard about this woman from you, it seems like she's always doing something and even though he's never really been a huge fan of hers, he can still appreciate how much she loves her job and how much effort and love she puts into each project.

"Yes! It really shows what their relationship was like and puts the whole thing into perspective."

The lyrics start and you're singing along, even going as far as pulling out a red scarf from your purse and wrapping it around your neck. Eddie looks at you briefly before turning back to the road as he laughs how committed to the bit you are.

You're singing along to the lyrics as Eddie tries to focus on them, pausing the song after only a few lines.

I walked through the door with you, the air was cold But something 'bout it felt like home somehow And I left my scarf there at your sister's house And you've still got it in your drawer, even now

"Pause," he says, trying to wrap his head around what he's just heard.

"He kept her scarf?" The whole thing seems so weird to him. He understands to an extent, but not enough to defend who is being sung about.

"Yes!" You reply. "He was even seen wearing it while walking around town, Eddie! There are paparazzi pictures."

"So weird," he shakes his head then plays the song again.

And I know it's long gone and That magic's not here no more And I might be okay, but I’m not fine at all

"This is so heartbreaking," he comments, really hearing the pain in her voice.

"And it only gets worse from here," you sigh, obviously already knowing what's coming.

And you were tossing me the car keys, "Fuck the patriarchy" Keychain on the ground, we were always skipping town And I was thinking on the drive down, "Any time now, He's gonna say it's love", you never called it what it was Till we were dead and gone and buried Check the pulse and come back, swearing it's the same After three months in the grave And then, you wondered where it went to, as I reached for you But all I felt was shame and you held my lifeless frame

Eddie doesn't want to admit it, but that part's made him feel something. Maybe it's just how heartbroken she sounds or how she talks about how she really seemed to love him and was proud of their relationship while whoever she's singing about just wanted to hide what they had away because he seemed ashamed.

He thinks about how he would never want to do that to you, how he loves to flaunt your relationship, even going as far as kissing you in public, not giving a single damn who's watching. So he doesn't understand how people can feel so ashamed of their partner.

And you call me up again Just to break me, like a promise So casually cruel in the name of being honest I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here 'Cause I remember it all, all, all Too well

"He made her feel like a piece of paper, Eddie."

"Brutal," he replies with a sigh.

They say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new Hell Every time you double-cross my mind You said, "If we had been closer in age, maybe it would have been fine" And that made me want to die

"What was the age difference?"

"She was nineteen or twenty and he was twenty-nine." That makes Eddie's stomach churn. He's the same age and can't even conceptualize wanting to pursue someone as young as nineteen or twenty. That's a whole nine and ten years difference and that would definitely make for a power imbalance.

"Gross. And he's just saying that to make himself feel better. Because the truth is, he was going to end it anyway because it's clear that he doesn't care about her as much and she cares about him. The whole thing seems manipulative."

"See! I knew you'd understand." You love how much he's actually thinking about the lyrics and what they mean just like you do.

The idea you had of me, who was she? A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you Not weeping in a party bathroom Some actress asking me what happened, you That's what happened, you You, who charmed my dad with self-effacing jokes Sipping coffee like you're on a late-night show But then he watched me watch the front door all night, willing you to come And he said, "It's supposed to be fun turning twenty-one"

"Hold on," he pauses the music again. "He didn't show up to her birthday party?"

"No," you shake your head in disappointment. "He didn't. And there's a whole song about that which we can listen to later."

And I was never good at telling jokes, but the punch line goes I'll get older, but your lover's stay my age

"Damn," is all Eddie can say in response to the line. "That was cutthroat."

The song comes to an end as the the car rolls up to your destination and Eddie just sits there, staring out through the windshield, clearly deep in thought. He then turns to you, still looking like he's pondering.

"Can we listen to it again?" He asks, which surprises you."

"Of course we can, baby," you reply and play the song again as you two sit in silence in the grocery store parking lot that Eddie had just pulled into. It seems like your groceries can wait. At least for the next ten minutes, they can.

[lastoneout]

Something I've noticed that is like...concerning but also just really annoying about online discussions about basically any topic these days is something that probably already has a name but that for now I'ma call "death of nuance via strict binary thinking" which leads a lot of people to get very angry over the idea that two things can be true at once, or that bringing up someone else's problems does not overshadow or invalidate your own, or that you can uplift a group of people without tearing down another.

Because like, I've had this happen on several of my posts now, where I say a generally harmless, factual statement, and several people rush in to either outright accuse me of saying a different, more extreme statement or annoyingly "correct" me to fix the supposed ~dangerous implications~ of my words, which I'm not gonna lie is as infuriating as it is confusing.

I can't make a post about how sugar is one of the main things the human body runs on and thus trying to remove it entirely from your diet is dangerous and harmful without people showing up to be like "are you saying it's okay to eat an entire bag of sugar by the spoonful??" and "well if you ate nothing but oreoes and ice cream that would make you sick" even though that doesn't contradict or really have anything?? to do?? with my original statement??

I can't make a post talking about the issues men(trans or cis) face under the patriarchy without people showing up and getting mad at me for "making feminism about men" despite the fact that the majority of my feminist activism DOES center women and taking a moment to explore the ways the patriarchy harms us all in no way harms women. And I can't make a post pointing out that marginalized men, especially black, disabled, and fat men often have malice read into their very existence and maybe that's bad without people showing up to get mad at me for saying marginalized men are incapable of harm which is not what I said at all.

And this one is a bit different but still one I see a lot, which is an over-correction seeped in the idea that we can only uplift one group at a time, or if x group is good y group must be bad. Like I am all for pointing out that there's nothing wrong with not wearing makeup and having body hair and not wearing deodorant, and women who live like that are fine and valid and can still be seen as sexy and desirable, and yes there ARE things to critique about the beauty industry for sure...but then that manifests into thinking women who do shave and wear makeup and deodorant are ugly or weird or brainwashed and should be mocked, which..no? Or when the dialog shifted to talking about fat people being hot suddenly we had a lot of people acting like skinny women were ugly and weird when that actually doesn't help with fat liberation AT ALL.

(Also just to clarify I think the occasional joke about these topics is okay given how much mockery fat, hairy, and non-feminine women get BUT there is a point when you go to far and some groups of people are racing over the line.)

And like yeah you could say the internet has always been this way but there's been a real noticeable uptick in progressive leftists coming at complex issues with this kind of no-nuance thinking, when it used to be something I really only saw from conservatives. I'd see stuff like "well feminism is bad because men also have problems" and "oh black lives matter? are you saying other lives don't??" and "oh you think drug addicts aren't inherently dangerous well what about the ones who DO hurt people" or "we can't talk about trans women's issues that would take away from talking about cis women's problems" and "we can't have a fat character that's glorifying ob*sity" and we used to MOCK them for that shit. This was seen as RIDICULOUS and was generally considered a conversation ender because it's clear the people doing it aren't actually interested in having a conversation they just want to yell at you for something you didn't say or pull a huge "I am uncomfortable when we are not about me" which just...ough please stop.

So seeing like actual progressive people pull this shit is really weird and it happens so often I legit can't ignore it anymore. I don't really have a solution, but I just feel like some of us really need to wrap our heads around the idea that just because someone said one thing doesn't mean they're saying this other thing too. Which, when you put it like that, sounds like the kind of thing you learn in kindergarten but I digress. Someone saying it's okay to eat sugar, your body actually needs it, isn't necessarily saying it's okay to eat so many oreoes you get sick(or excluding diabetics or being a corn lobby apologist or whatever the hell else people on that post are accusing me of). Someone bringing up the ways the patriarchy hurts people who aren't women isn't making feminism about men or saying women don't have problems. Trans men talking about their issues isn't implying anything about trans women just like bisexuals or asexuals talking about their issues isn't taking space away from allo gay people. Someone talking about how assuming marginalized men are threats when they're just existing is bad and gets innocent people killed isn't saying OJ Simpson did nothing wrong.

Two things can be true at the same time. Nuance is important and making space to talk about one thing isn't taking away from someone else. There's no contest, no slippery slope so dangerous we can't even state facts, no pie you have to fight over. Oppression isn't a math problem where whatever you do to one side of the equation must be done to the other or a scale that can't be balanced. This kind of thought process isn't productive and will not lead to a better, more equal world. Just one where someone else is wearing the boot.

Just...idk please just stop coming onto posts assuming the worst, doing bad faith readings and then getting pissed about something the person didn't say, assuming someone else getting a seat at the table means yours is in danger, being so desperate to be a good ally that you start doing lateral violence and calling it punching up, and just full on stealing conservative talking points and argument styles and trying to make them progressive.

We're supposed to be better than this. That's all I've got really, we're just supposed to be better than this. And while I don't always engage with people like this for obvious reasons, I'd like to think they aren't beyond saving and maybe this post can change a few minds. You guys aren't wrong to be angry and want to help and protect people who need it, but this is not the way to go about it and it never will be.

[audible-smiles]

pet peeve time

it's ghoulish that we turn making fun of unusual baby names into some kind of sport. why is this the one area of culture where pedantic, hypercritical conservatism is fine and cool? there used to be an epidemic of so-called comedians in the US making fun of black names (because they thought black people were stupid!) and then when blatant racism became a faux pas in certain circles of white society they were all just like "we meant women are stupid, actually, as well as all white people in different social classes than us" and so far we've all gone "oh, that's fine!" and passed around memes of pregnant women naming their kids "Arson" or "Kayleieiigh" or whatever the fuck is supposed to be funny at the time.

I just looked at the top ten baby names in the US by binary gender and guess what, most of them date back to at least the 14th century if not much further, because again, naming conventions are astonishingly conservative. the exceptions? "Lily", because flower names for girls weren't popularized until the 1800s, and possibly "Mia" and "Aiden", which are, respectively, a diminutive version of a much older name, and an anglicized spelling of a much older name. your cousin who named their kid something weird is not necessarily indicative of a widespread societal collapse that must by guarded against by those wise preservers of our culture, internet trolls.

you are not being oppressed because somewhere a baby has a name that's spelled weird or sounds weird. in fact, that baby's name affects you in no way whatsoever, and fixating on it is deranged, "fall of civilization" behavior that makes you sound like you spent the 90s forwarding chain e-mails about ghetto kids named Oranjello and Lemonjello, because you're a tool. that's my hot take today!

adults can in fact change their names if they hate them. kids who dislike their names often end up going by nicknames. it is not child abuse to give your kid an unusual name! sometimes kids hate their traditional names, even, because names are super personal. sometimes kids are trans! The Public Universal Friend was born in 1752, you literally cannot stop people given traditional names from renaming themselves something weirder as an adult, and you still have to treat them with respect if they choose to do so!

naming a kid a nearly unpronounceable string of characters may in fact be the only remotely cool thing Elon Musk has ever done in his life, but it was almost certainly Grimes' idea

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Spy x Family S2

Awww, I like that Bond Forger the Dog also gets an intro about HIS secret identity. Equal opportunity deceit

Are we finally going to learn who exacty Yor is fighting? I would like to know!

Been there Anya, I also had little patience for watching the news as as a kid. Though, it seems more important in a pre-internet era

"Okay, you can change the channel." Loid Forger, International Spy, defeated by one (1) sad look from his little daughter

"I absolutely cannot tell him that I got shot in the butt while fighting a group of armed men." 10/10 episode plot, I cannot wait

"I've been relying on her too much without realizing it, and it's upset her. Yes, that must be it! I must do everything in my power to remedy this at once!" Loid immediately blaming Yor's mood on himself and deciding he has to be respond by being a better husband!!! I will keep saying it. He is THE Husband. World's Most Husband

"Why don't we go on a date?" HEE HEE

Puzzling that Yor thinks she hasn't been on a date though, when I can think of at least three dates so far (party-grenade-proposal date, lunch date, and drinks-and-reassurance date)

"I can't leave Anya alone at home, and this is a very important mission to ensure that we remain one happy family." It seems Loid has learned from the spy transmission debacle

"Last night, I came up with 862 date plans to ensure that Yor has fun." He's insane. I want to give him a leetle kiss

HAHAHAHA Franky being absolutely thrilled to bother Loid and Yor on their date. What a friendship 💕

Intriguing that Anya's telepathy has a distance limit. Tell me more!

Honestly, Yor having to position herself in a specific way to avoid pain is relatable. We love a chronic pain queen

"This woman had built up an immunity to poisons." HAHAHAHAHA the poison fixing Yor's pain. Sometimes, drinking does solve your problems!

LMAOOOO them censoring the bomb components. A real "don't try this at home" moment

NOT THE BABY MAKING THE BOMB. ANYA PLEASE

"I'm going to forget all this and live a normal life." Perfect. Forgers reforming their enemies left and right

"If it's not too much trouble, please invite me out again sometime." Never let being married stand in the way of your husband becoming your boyfriend 🥰

SCREAM at Bond's perception of what Loid does for work. I guess he's closer to the truth than most:

"Are you trying to do this for your... no. Are you trying to get revenge for your friends who were experimented on?" HAHAHA is Loid blushing because he wants to call himself his dog's dad?

FBKFJHFFHKJHF Loid taking on Bond as his mission back-up. He truly can be swayed so easily

WHERE DID LOID GET A DOG-SIZED SKI MASK AHHAHAHA

I love the giant puppy spy sidekick, employ this dog ASAP

"While they're busy playing, I'm going to work hard to get to the top," said Damian Desmond, Six Years Old, for whom The Top was beating all the other little bougie first graders

"Your friendship... preciously elegant." Me whenever I finish hanging out with my friends

I love that Henderson-sensei sends the kids out on a picnic as a punishment. He really is as silly as he is strict

I don't know if this is a vegetarian thing or a cultural thing but it always seems wild to me how people in anime bite into fish, scales and all

"Did you know that the most recent studies in neuroscience suggest that your brain feels really revitalized when you're spacing out?" I like Mr. Green, Grizzled Navy Custodian, too

HAHA Damian trying his hardest to space out. Me when people tell me to practice mindfulness

"Oh, you don't [have a goal], eh? That's perfectly fine!" "Actually, I want to live my life eating lots of snacks." "Splendid! You'll have to think earnestly about how to make that possible." I take it back, I LOVE MR. GREEN

Ready to sob about this field trip actually. AHHHHHHH:

"Good evening, Mr. Vile Trash." ACAB; All Cops are (Weird) Brothers

"What's so wrong about trying to improve the country my family lives in?" Nothing but the hostile, paternalistic nationalism of a Cold War, Frank Perkin, Newspaper Sensationalist and Adult Bully of Wealthy Children

"I'll request that your father gets some financial aid to get by." I feel like that will not make up for imprisoning his son, Yuri, but whatever helps you sleep

"Blech." That's also how I feel about Weird Brother Yuri, Anya

"Revenge will only make you sadder. I'll make you forget about all that with my love." This is the plot of Naruto

Honestly, I was super sold on the Bondman Polycule when it was just him, his spy partner Agent M, and the enemy spy lady who had all linked arms together. I feel like this could work:

"How was anything he did gentlemanly?" Loid said: I'm a one-woman kind of spy

"Lord Damian, how could you possibly pick the joker there." "Shut up!' [Internally] She's so unfair... Damn it! I like to believe Loid might approve of Damian's crush purely because he is also willing to do whatever Anya wants if she makes one (1) sad face

Poor Anya. She's really most suited to using her street smarts

"Garden? The group of assassins who have been in this country for ages? They're basically urban legends, aren't they?" FINALLY we're finding out more about Yor's job!! They do in fact seem at cross purposes with the spies

[Loid already walking away] "He's such a heartless jerk." I bet you $5 he has already decided to help Franky LMAO

Update from 8 min later: Alright, I owe you $5, he didn't care

"Am I normal?! Oh, thank goodness!" said Yor excitedly, as if that were not a moderately suspicious response to being called normal

Excited for an ep with no double-barreled title. Plot progression!

I truly don't know where this falls on the spectrum of ways that anime will depict black and brown characters LMAO. Like Donovan Desmond, the Shopkeeper has an extremely haunting aura:

"You will be providing protection on this mission." Oooooh, change of pace!

"Is there actually any reason why I should continue my job as a killer?" A question every assassin should ask themselves, I think

"HQ may or may not be trying to cut back on our shady overtime practices." Incredible. I can't believe even the underground spy agency has PTO. I wonder who regulates spy labour law

"If not for this bodyguard job, the three of us could've enjoyed this vacation together." AWWW Yor loves her family so much

"You can say this is a gangster's destiny." [Reba voice] A single mom who works too hard, who loves her kid never stops!

"Papa! We need to hurry up and explore the ship before it sinks!" "It's not going to sink! Stop scaring everyone." The fact the staircase looks distinctly modelled after that one scene from Titanic really sells Anya's point

Loid incapable of framing having fun as anything but a mission ljggkjgj truly he might benefit from a Real Psychologist

"That family's just for camoflauge, right?" "Yes, you're right... Is... that true?" I love Yor slowly admitting that she loves her family for their own sake 💗

As Yor was declaring doing her best, I did worry briefly that someone was going to [redact] Olka. Other anime have been less kind to me than Spy x Family

I love Yor making another mum friend in Olka 💞 Gal pals

Finally saying suspicious things in public has a consequence!!

"It's been a while since we've had dinner without Mama." "Yeah, it's a bit lonely." Hee hee, Loid misses his wife

I love the immediate transformation in Yor's face as soon as Olka/Shaty says she didn't order room service

I don't have much to say but I am really entranced by the assassin vs. assassin + informant goings on!!

"I may not look it, but I'm a married woman, so I'll have to decline." Absolutely loving Yor quietly and efficiently beating these hitmen unconscious as she passes through the cruise ship

"Which is it?! Would normal parents buy their child something in this situation or not?!" Loid is incapable of making a decision without thinking about how it looks in relation to him being a spy. Anxiety king

[In Anya's mind] "Yor! You're an assasin who hates frogs? Let's get a divorce. The Forgers are done." Like father, like anxiety-ridden daughter

"I am a normal father. A good father," said Loid, which is frankly not usually something a good or normal father would say

"Papa, you're not excited at all." Loid defeated by one (1) six-year-old's piercingly accurate psychoanalysis

Loid is facing a true Psychological Battle: The Fitting Room

Anya Ultimate Wingman Award for convincing everyone her mum's battle is actually a circus act

Awwww, Zeb, Fake Husband to Olka, likes her. I hope this is a healthy experience in Yor seeing other fake couples work it out, but I do also think Zeb could mega-die

"As long we people continue to be people, conflict will never end." Alright, Director Doomsday, calm down

"What am I? What am I doing this for?" [B Eilish voice] What was I made foooooor?

"Does she hate me? Or is she just going through a rebellious phase?" Loid whenever one of the Forger girls looks upset: THIS MUST BE MY FAULT SOMEHOW

A hasty and confident NO to Assassin Sniff's whole vibes

We interrupt this program to think about how cute Loid and Anya are!! I love Loid entertaining Anya and also supporting her while he thinks she's missing Yor

"Nice, Mr. Husband!" Oh good, we love a bulletproof vest for Zeb!

Truly a wild juxtaposition of Forger Family Fireworks Night:

"This might be a bit late to ask, but would you consider just peacefully going home?" I love you, Compassionate Combat

I'm having a hard time believing all this will happen without Loid eventually noticing; the fireworks are long gone. I actually do hope Loid crashes her battle, Director Doomsday is out cold

"I'm doing this to support my family.... wait. I guess I am also doing this for money. But... no, I make enough to survive now. I'm hunting down bad guys for my country! For my country? Have I always been so righteous? What am I doing this for?" Poor Yor, this is like the worst possible time for an existential crisis

YOR AND LOID BOTH BEING MOTIVATED BY THEIR DESIRE FOR OTHERS TO LIVE A PEACEFUL LIFE 😭💘😭💘😭💘😭💘

[In Yor's flashback] "Be it for someone else, or for a specific reason, having to endure a merciless job... That's something to be very proud of." I'm sure Loid will acknowledge me. He'll forgive me. I like to think so too, Yor!!

Never mind to Loid helping Yor out, he is busy disarming a bomb threatening to sink them. This truly is the Titanic LMAO

LGLHGLGJHGLJHG Anya accidentally tripping the assassins so they shoot each other. Like mother, like daughter 💖

"You'll be able to enjoy the symphony of agonized screams and roars coming through the wiretaps on this ship." I can't wait for Loid to sink this guy with his own clock-bomb

Update from 30 seconds later: See? Self-owned and sunk

Awwwww Yor really does deserve the baby hug after the day she's had:

"I pray that, someday, you and your family will be able to find true peace." OLKAAAA

"I know it was an emergency, but I ended up casting my family aside again." Loid and Yor having the same crisis about whether to prioritize their family or their jobs 🥺🥺🥺

Loid's blush at Yor catching him skipping as he continues to skip over in her direction. Hee hee

"I hope peaceful days like this will continue forever." ME TOO, YOR!

Get you a mum who would secretly beat up sharks for you ❤️‍🩹

Setting aside how fun snorkeling is, absolutely terrible idea to go into the ocean with an open wound OMG

Loid carrying his whole family is the cutest thing I've ever seen, 10 bajilion/10zo; perfect:

[Internally] "You did a great job." Loid is in loooooove

"I can never tell if he's actually clever, or clumsy." Me either, Handler

Anya learning about the vacation disparity of rich kids LMAO

"If youre going to create a persona for yourself, you need to be strategic and commit." Not Loid turning this lie lecture into a spy lecture in his mind

"Lying is too much work, so I'll try not to do it anymore." Anya's entire set of adult role models do nothing but lie all the time, she really has no frame of reference for honesty

I do a little bit hate the Becky fantasizing about Loid thing, I have been Cardcaptor Sakura'd too much in life

NOT ANYA SELLING OUT HER MUM FOR THE POSSIBILITY OF BECKY BEING HER RICH SIX-YEAR-OLD STEPMUM OH MY GOD

I feel like they take a lot of liberties in translating "Loid-sama" as "my precious Loid" but hey, he is precious

"Yor's going to get the wrong idea, somehow." Loid has finally registered that this child is obsessed with him and he is only concerned for wife not thinking he's a freak. A good husband above all else

"I really don't understand the children of rich people." Me either, Loid

I need you to see Loid's face as Becky declares that this is his expression of love for Yor:

"Your heart is as vast as the sky, and you're stronger than the earth itself. You're the perfect lady." Correct, Becky! Yor is amazing

"I had some extra souvenirs left after handing them out to everyone else. Do you want them?" LMAO @ the implication being lost on Fiona that he doesn't even think of her enough to warrant her own souvenir

I will say, I really do resonate with the theme of the ep being Loid is Hot and Amazing to Everyone But No One Will Ever Measure Up to Yor in His Eyes

"Maybe you're too nice, and biting and barking don't really suit you." Everyone in the Forger family is too nice for their job, including Bond Forger, Precognitive Puppy

Awwww Bond trying to help out all the humans with his visions

LNKFHKFHKJFH Loid really just got reprimanded by his dog

"And he went into save [Daisy the puppy]? What an impressive dog!" I love the Spy Dad-Psychic Puppy tag-team ❤️

[Internally] "I am a cool-headed spy. I cannot let my emotions show." Loid remains deadpan through SO many things but his dog looking a little funny while wet is his limit. What a man!

"Don't push yourself too hard. There's someone waiting back home who would be sad if you died." 1) V sweet, dad first, hero second. And 2) This is the second time Loid has directly spoken to his life situation with a simultaneous thinly-veined dog metaphor

WAHHHHHHH Loid and Bond's heroics being acknowledged by Anya giving them little paper Stellas:

Yor immediately joining in and congratulating them for their hard work on their walk!!! I LOVE ONE (1) SPY X FAMILY 😭😭😭😭😭 IT'S A NICE SHOW

[thatdisasterauthor]

"Everyone" is self-diagnosing on the spectrum, please get tested or don't claim to be on the spectrum. Personally, everyone I know who has self-diagnosed and then been tested has failed the tests and been like "I guess I just had anxiety and stuff".

Basically, dunning kruger syndrome. People who think "Oh, I'm weird, and awkward, and have social anxiety, I must be autistic or on the spectrum."

No, you likely just coincidentally have those traits.

Medical testing will tell you if you have those traits in such a degree that it effects your entire life to the level of autism.

Most people do NOT meet this criteria, and they're just trying to join a group of people and fit in. That's fine, but it's also insulting to those who struggled beyond their understanding.

There's a difference between struggling in school and suffering with everything in school and having an absolute nightmare of which the only emotional response at that age is to cry every night and wish you were dead.

The difference between being socially weird and being so different that there's a target on your back and even the most mild of kids turns into a bully around you because it's so easy.

To need decades of therapy just from how people have treated you, THAT is closer to autism than "I have adhd and I like cats."

I am not saying that is the only kind of autism or only experience, I am using it as an example. There are, of course, those who went under the radar and absolutely have autism in adulthood. But to be aware of the massive and documented problem of self-diagnosis and over-diagnosing autism, is not to gatekeep it.

I'm assuming this is because of my post about my character Conifer?

Look. How about you don't assume shit about when:

A) You don't fucking know me or anything about my life.

And B) That post is about a CHARACTER. A character you also know nothing about because the book isn't even out yet.

The rest of this I'm not going to bother to address. My personal business is not yours. If you disagree with my stance on self-diagnosis (which, for the record, is 100% in favor), the unfollow and block buttons are right there.

I'm sorry you went through such a horrible experience with being autistic. That truly, truly sucks. But you do not get to lash out at strangers on the internet just because their experiences don't perfectly mesh with yours.

[whentherewerebicycles]

I worked so hard today but also had some great early morning time with the baby, got to kiss his beautiful bald head between meetings, and then took him over to liz’s for dinner where he was very sweet and chatty with everyone. I then stayed up too late reading about rare complications for the septoplasty surgery I’m having next week 😵‍💫 I think I just need to choose to set the worry aside and trust that everything will be fine. I think my fear is mostly just like, the current state of things is not great (can’t breathe through my nose most of the time especially at night and have barely any sense of smell) but I’ve been living with that for 35 years so it’s obviously bearable. but it seems like if things go wrong it can become extremely unbearable in life-ruining ways (and of course the internet is rife with horror stories). and I think that I also just have this new terror of like, if something happens to me what happens to owen? what if this routine surgery ends up wrecking my life at a moment where he is so so vulnerable and utterly dependent on me? if I look into my heart of hearts I don’t actually think anything bad is going to happen and I’m not actually that genuinely worried about it. but it’s weird and new to have this extremely strong sense of, I must be extra extra cautious because a tiny being needs me to be fully present and there for him. ANYWAY I’ll discuss it with my therapist tomorrow blah blah blah but it’s on my mind a bit.

ok. tomorrow—two appts in the morning, then shower/get ready, then go for a walk with my siblings and the babies and the dogs probably. then I must must must finish:

JW’s cornell essays x 2

SD’s northwestern essays x 3

NF’s personal statement

MN’s AD doc + possible final edits to harvard and the long essay

I should also listen to the recording of the training I need to make up. I HAVE to finish one of those before I meet with KB on wednesday and I should really finish both. oh also I think I am having Liz & A over for dinner so I’ll have to make food, maybe something easy like roasted veggies + pesto tortellini. I have lots of work this week, but I’m so close to the finish line with most of my students!MN, DN, SD, and JW will be over the first huge hurdle by Friday with only cleanup work left to do before 11/1. NF will be done by Sunday, I hope. EP is done with his 11/1 schools and it shouldn’t be too hard to finish the rest of his stuff. TW I am committed to through 11/1 but then I can dial it back. we are getting there!!!!!!!!!

[echo-of-damnation]

im not feeling good so im going to rant about the book Dead Men Walking by Steve Lyons because none of my irl friends will know what im talking about and i need to get it out of my system.

apologies in advance for anyone who ends up reading this

first things first. absolutely love the funky little krieg guys. i love that they just fucked their entire sick ass planet because the loser guys on top were like " yeah nah fuck the big man who is def not a god and fuck da rules". i applaud theyre blinding loyalty. one of their best traits imo. i love their quirks of not having standard names and the absolute crippling disappointment and need to atone for a sin so hard they send theyre young off at an unnatural amount. I love their hehe dont care about casualties front everyone thinks they have but they do and will take their lives in consideration. that some of them will feel fear at running head first into an unwinnable fight and some will flee. its so. human. like deep down in their gene code, no matter how much they reproduce these soldiers, there is a part of human nature that will always and forever be there.

I enjoyed Krieg by him and wanted to see more of their silly little lives in action. (this was before the siege of vraks book came out so at the time it was just those two books and pieces of lore scoured from the internet)

now! with that said!

i went into this book excited to see my funky little gas mask guys. what i ended up getting was a weird sub plot line about my guy Gunthar and the goveners daughter (ah forbidden love. a tale as old as time) and a little bit of the funky little guys.

after shit hits the fan our boy Gunthar gets separated from his one and only and ends up drafted into the PDF and gets to hang out and do really fun things train and fight with the kriegsman who came to "help" the planet from the shit that hit the fan.

spoiler alert. it was the funny robots hitting the fan.

while there is some really good parts in the book going through some of the fights with the dkok and ol'gunt it always ended up going back and bringing up his little crush. (who we find out is all in a shit hitting the fan situation but ends up fine at the end with the guy who liked her from afar and who shows up halfway through the book and this book wasnt about them okay. it was supposed to be about my cool guys.)

we get some super cool dialog from one of the krieg colonels saying something along the lines of "you just want to use us kriegers cause you think our lives are worth less than your own peoples lives. go fuck yourself." and some great moments when we actually get to see a kriegsman without his mask and its painful how young the boy is. it was great! more of that!

at some point all of gunny's krieg friends end up dying/they peace out because they cant contain the necron threat and its up to our love sick boy and this last baby krieger to do something.

so they blow the robos the fuck up. kinda.

beby krieger sacrifices himself(who didnt see that one coming) and gunthar does his thang.

NOW. I MUST CLARIFY. I MAY BE GETTING THESE TWO EVENTS SWAPPED IN ORDER. BUT IT REALLY DOESNT MATTER TO MY RANT.

at one point, and this is were i got frustrated and its kind towards the end ish, all of the important people of the planet are getting evaced which includes the govoners daughter and the lost puppy guy she found along the way.

what happened to the gov? the krieg colonel fucking shoots him for being a little bitch colluding with the enemy. so treason.

ANYWAY, the girl and the guy are getting onto the ship to leave when op! who is in the crowd! gunthar! hes there! he finally made it back to her! now to just tell her and oh who is that man touching her? hes kinda close and is she getting comforted by him? well i guess she didnt really love our boy in the end and his whole life is crumbling down around him. whats there to live for now? guess he'll just go die.

(now that im think about it i think this all happened before they blow up the necrons)

in the end i just kept getting reminded at every turn that yes this book is about the dkok but we are never in the pov of them. we watch and interact with them through gunthar who also wont stop trying to prove himself and find the girl he liked.

im not saying romantic plotlines shouldnt have been in the book but i feel like they should have taken a backseat. i didnt want to follow around the daughter as she leads a little revolution with some slave humans against the necrons. i wanted kriegsmen. i wanted to see how they lived and fought. how they interacted with each other and those around them. its fine that we had gunthar as our guy but i wanted more of him with them. at one point he ends up seeing them as brothers and finds comfort with them and the kriegsmen also end up respecting him a lot for his efforts. that could have been built on! that is an interaction that is never really seen and it would have made the story so much more. idk. i dont want to say better but like. more cohesive?

in this conclusion i will like to say i did like the book. it had really enjoyable parts but it wasnt great. its not a book i would pick back up and read of go and recommend to someone new to the fandom. it just never felt like a krieg book. just a book with funny gas mask guys sometimes.

thank you for coming to my ted talk. if you did enjoy this word vomit of a rant please like and subscribe and hit that bell for notifications so you know when i lose my mind about another thing in warhammer that no one else cares about. idk how to end this.

sincerly,

a sick little guy

[piratefishmama]

im the one who sent the ask about billy being a bully outside the mains.

i'm not the same person who was doing whatever other bs

i saw someone in your replies talking about him being abused and whatever else, as if it erased his other behaviour.

so i wasnt talking about you forgetting, i was talking about other people forgetting, especially his stans.

his stans will try and justify every action he's done that has negatively impacted other people. they'll find justification for his treatment of max, steve, the other kids. but that is something that I've never seen them touch on, because there no way they can stretch whatever they try to use to absolve him of everything to this kid he targetted.

im sorry if it came across in a bad way, but I was agreeing with your post, its just an offshoot thought I had from it. that little fat kid isn't one of eddies, but he is proof that billy is a bully. if he was okay with bullying a kid in front of witnesses at his job, he would have absolutely been fine with bullying people at school unless he got put in his place, like as you said in your post about Eddie doing

Oh sorry for being defensive! Anons always get me a little eeehhh after someone's been acting out.

Oh god that must have been the other person in the replies, didnt read it! just insta blocked from the notification cause they were out there bragging abt how they could still see stuff 🤣

idc what you have to say if you're out here being a dipshit for no good reason. and a 'neh-neh-ne-neh nehhh' post is just ridiculously immature. Let people have fun on the internet for gods sake they're fictional characters, people can HC whatever they want it doesnt hurt you.

But yeah abuse doesnt excuse anything, he was a dipshit of the highest order.

So many teachers back in my day claimed 'you dont know what's going on in their homes' whenever i'd complain about bullies, school never doing anything about it.

Violence is sometimes the only language they speak, which sucks but alas, put them in their place and they stay away for a bit. it's a tested method and unfortunately it works. They know they cant fuck with you, or in Eddie's and my case, your friends without reprocussion and a concussion is a pretty decent reprocussion.

Billy was only there for a year and a bit before he died, I broke a bullies nose in highschool for picking on a friend of mine and we both got left alone for two years so lmao, timeline seems abt right to me.

and honestly how else could he successfully gather and protect weird freshmen, if he didnt have a proven 'THIS BITCH IS FERAL' reputation?

[imliterallyjustablackgirl]

Sydcarmy hate

I love reading all our meta about Sydcarmy so, I got curious and start dabbling in another ship of our fandom on Tumblr and their meta of theirs. Because truly, I like variations of ships and I wanted to read more about the Bear overall and hum...Oh boy, the sydcarmy hate is so...Weird to me?

You don't have to like our ship but even in your ship tag..? It's always backhanded too ; they start with denying their chemistry, while playing safe and saying somewhere in their argumentation that friendship is a safer option and state everything as if it was a fact.

Even going to the point of doubting the actors's work with each other ( Like Jaw and Ayo chemistry on screen). So, they have enough chemistry to be friends but not lovers. Why can't they be both? Friends to lovers. You can separate Syd and Carmy from Ayo and JAW. These are characters and people who act them are actors. Two different things. Maybe for you, Ayo and JAW are just friends, which is true, but Syd and Carmy don't present themselves like that to the viewer, sorry if that viewer wasn't you. This baffled me because they aren't they nomi- you know what.

Plus, I really dislike the backhanded aggressive-passiveness; the ''I know I'm going to get attacked for this '' when in reality, most of us have screenshots of our argumentation and examples. We explain our point of view, the people who attack the ship, not so much. It's backhanded because you must not have read nor dabbled in our ship to understand it. Which would be fine, if it didn't make it look like it was based on nothing. - But saying that you will get attacked for this... Interesting. It's not because you see an influx of people shipping our ship and being tolerant that it wasn't a wild ride there.

Luckily, I haven't seen Sydcarmies get personally attacked but we did see the ship being picked on everywhere on the internet and used as clickbait. Basically, using our interest and perspective of the show against us to a certain degree. Because, our interpretation of the show is literally laughed at, us seeing things through the lenses of Sydcarmy is as if because love stories are seen as redundant and Carmy is seen as this white guy people can transfer onto, rough around the edges of wtv, so it's as if it's below him. As if Carmy as a character wasn't deserving of a love story. Or that Syd has a character wasn't deserving of Carmy, that by the way @unladyboss made a post about how Carmy dresses and how Jaw dresses, and I think some of you cannot cope with the idea of Syd being with JAW not Syd being with CARMY. Despite, Carmy being a fine man. So, why would you be surprised...That people who are being basically laughed at wouldn't defend themselves for the reason they are being laughed at.

The person who inspired this post just makes me think they have biases. My fellow Sydcarmies have already dismantled a lot of that type of comments, the lack of chemistry, the friendship and the ship, so I won't go further but yeah, it's weird.

Edit: It's weirder because you realize that there's truly no place for us to just enjoy the bear if it ain't our spot?

[incredibly-delirious-biznasty]

I’m only going to weigh in on this once because all the hate is really bumming me out and I need to air out some thoughts.

I know you have all picked up on the themes of all this new music from our Emo Forebears. I will use My Chem as an example because I think they’re the most poignant example:

Think about their musical content up till this point. It’s about suffering and feeling misunderstood and we all loved it because we felt seen. My Chem had the reputation of being the Suicidal Girl band since long before it was seen as anything other than cringe. If you didn’t live through this time; if you have never experienced the feeling of “fuck it I’m gonna live like I’ll never see 30 because I’ll be dead long before then” it may be hard to understand just how special Foundations is.

You Must Fix Your Heart

The resurfacing of these emo bands are all the grown ass adults who were once barely out of their teens, saw a bunch of fucked up shit, many of them nearly died or were very near people who did, and here we are, decades later, still just living.

At a certain point, it’s fix yourself or give up. By give up I mean die. It’s heal or die.

So here we have a bunch of now adult musicians who have been through it, fixed themselves and are now thriving. They have an opportunity to share this wisdom with all those other young people who were just like the. The now-adult fans have done their own growing and fixing. It’s a beautiful thing, really.

Now consider Panic!

Yes, the ‘09 split was the end of the “real” PATD. However, Brendon and Spencer decided they wanted to keep trying. They loved making music, who could blame them for trying to a carry on the way they saw fit?

The transition between Vices and Virtues and Too Weird to Live is very important to the point I am trying to illustrate here.

The whole band was heavy into drugs. Spencer almost died from an overdose. Brendon even said in a statement about the state of the band that he didn’t realize that his friend was so deep into his addiction because he was fine. He admitted his shortcoming and I believe this incident was a serious realization and turning point for Brendon.

The tone between VaV and TWTLTRTD is markedly different. (Don’t @me about Dallon ok? That’s a whole different can of worms and y’all get too insane about that shit. If you’re ready for the real talk you can look up the legal credit given for writing on both those records and bring me the receipts, but most of y’all are not ready for that one yet) There is a turn toward the positive here that progresses throughout the “Shambling Corpse” solo albums.

Brendon was trying to find his positive growth while still doing what he loved, because unlike many others in the genre, it wasn’t about to kill him.

Now take a step back and look at the last, oh, let’s just say, half a decade. The amount of negativity, harassment, personal privacy invasion, along with all the other shit the internet has thrown at him. As stated previously: the majority of these controversies have been proven to be false. Brendon has stated many times that he doesn’t want to be famous. He wants to be able to be himself again and live his life without being harassed (whether it’s positive or negative intention)

He needs this break. He needs to heal. It tracks that the other bands that broke earlier are back with a new outlook, they had years to figure their shit out, one way or another.

Brendon hung around and has been being ground down to nothing in the public eye for nearly two decades.

I’m glad he’s finally taking his turn.

(If you’re interested in learning more about why Brendon was “cancelled” here is an excellent master list)

[cutepastelstarsalior]

Clone high living blogging

Episode 2

Oh wow the second hand embarrassment is SO strong when Joan was asleep in class…..

……..Joan knows about Wiccan stuff AND she practices it?? I mean I guess that makes sense seeing as her clone mother was a French saint?

“Women just weren’t friends with each other like that” GIRL what do you mean?????? Like in context Joan is saying she wants friends. I know that the show had a very small character group but ?????? That didn’t mean girls didn’t have girl fiends???

Oh there breaking the 4th wall again…….i feel like this is gonna happen a lot.

Joan really said “im not like other girls”

Harriet and Frida give those vibes of girls who pretend to be friends with the outcast only to betray and bully them…I don’t trust them.

Nooooo jfk don’t have any guy friends because ponce is dead noooooooo :(

Ah hell yeahhhhhh the blue background bathroom are back!!!! :)

Nooooooo Joan had a new foster mom!!!! Cleo’s mom and toots are probably dead :(. Hmmm that makes me wonder, HOW do the clones feel about their family might be dead? Like to them it’s what, been a day? 2? Since they got unfrozen, so it must be so jarring to hear that their family might be dead or something. :(

NOOOOOOOOOO TOOTS IS CANOTICAaly dead :(

Oh no jfk learned out the internet/tiktok

Frida and Harriet murder someone….surprise but not really….

JFK and there getting into an internet battle? :/ ok…do those “correct grammar in arguments” things really happen??? Like in real like?? It feel very specific……

Episode 3

“My boy toy jfk”

Seeing the gang having anxiety is interesting….Lind of gives them characterization…

I feel like this season is very Joan-centric while last was Abe-centric. Mmmm if there is a third season will it be focused on jfk? Or Cleo?

Topher has a emotional support possum :)

It’s neat to see Harriet fear/anxiety of being a “basic wine mom”. I like to think that she just has a fear of motherhood, or like, Amatonormativity.

Them beat the heck out of the monster while saying their fears is so cheesy. Then them saying “oh it’s (insert celebrity name here) from (xyz) is soooo scoops doo like. It’s also cheesy.

Doc….why do your nipple look so gross?

Ooohhh 👀 the clones that got taken are mind controlled 👀

Episode 4

Weird….zombies??? Goblin??? Things

I feel like the reason Joan feels odd this season is because she actually feels very passionate about stuff? Like off the top of my head the only times I remember seeing her very emotional was over Abe, not being allowed to play baseball, anything with Cleo, and the snowflake day. Like, all those time where of anger or yearning so seeing Joan happy/motivated is…..odd.

I still can’t get over Cleo voice. It sound so…high? I’ll why but I keep remembering Cleo old voice as lower?

Oh! I’m right! Her voice WAS lower, (watch a video complicated in Cleo and compare it to her new voice) :/

Ha. Cha cha smooth parody.

Oh sweet! Finally some cool stuff on how the old clones interact with the new one. Aka Joan lie and say the coffe is made from child labor and everyone believes it. Hmm very interesting take on stuff! Like ughhhh media criticism and cancel culture and stuff. Idk man I can’t explain it…

…….. awww we could had have a Joan and Cleo moment were they bond and stuff :(

Did Abe and Cleo ever breakup or are they still a couple?

Hehehe valley girl accent <3

:0 homesteader Cleo!!! Joan did a backflip….neat

:( I just realized I laugh more/chuckled more in season 1 than in season 2. So far the only time I laugh is when slow float about to hit Joan. :(

God I hate Confucius outfit. Dude why are you a triangle??? Why do you’re legs not match you’re top??? Harriet outfit is fine, still an eyesore color wise but fine.

YAY MR B AND JOAN!!!!! Love their friendship :)

YES!!! YES!!!! JOAN AND CLEO FRIENDSHIP???? Or at least no longer enemies!!! Whooo!!!!!!!!

Episode 5

10 years non union internship…..damn. 👀 hmmm would that be a good job? Like if the pay is good and manageable hours then 👀

*looking up clone high Harriet because I was curious why Harriet wants to distrance herself from her clone mom* *see that in season 1 there was already a Harriet* ???????? What….what happened to the original clone? Was she not frozen and she died and Doc was like “yeah likes remake a new Harriet clone lol”

Yay musical episode :)

Oh wow they are good singers, mostly Harriet and Frida

OMG PONCE’s DAD IS BACK yippie!!! :)

I’m like 99% sure that’s not how Footloose works. Wasn’t the dancing ban happen because of a drunk driver or something in the movie?

:( the husbands don’t get along anymore :( Mr b is so catty now

“Abe can’t sing, can’t dance…” i don’t think he even knows karate? I don’t think he’s going make it/lyrics

✨ white guy confidence✨ …………….don’t drink Abe sweat….

Harriet being a pushover/not wanting to speak up against her friend 👀 (also side note it seems like Frida and Harriet stop hang out? Or rather Joan and Harriet are closer friends then with Frida??)

Oh gross they actually drank Abe’s sweat….

Harriet likes her play! It’s different from Joan’s and that fine! Love that Harriet stood up for herself and wants to do her own thing

Oh hey Vincent van go! :) he spoke!!

The said fuck! Literally the first time it happen on the show!! :0

The quiche medphor is nice :)

…..these nerd didn’t try a second time? Also Cleo can dance! She did it with Ashley angel (no pun intended) and she dance at prom????

“Practice makes progress” :) wise words Frida!

Harriet is a good singer

Oh no is jfk and Harriet going to get together???

Ok I think Harriet may be my favorite new clone…

NoOOOOOOOOO NOT THE DINNER !!!!! :0 it’s burning!!!!! Nooooooooooo

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Anyway. Those that think this silent guy (Patient whatever I guess) is Gregory... literally how.

This is government mandated fake therapy. What we're listening to, is severe malpractice with the intention of trapping people in confessions, and keeping an eye on their lives, habits, interests, thoughts and feelings. This is not counselling. This is not therapy. This is surveillance.

And I will not be referring to them as anything but Malpractice CDs and Interrogators. Anyway.

Literally, how would some random kid be getting the exact same interrogator as Vanessa? Why would they be getting the same company mandated interrogator as a Fazbear employee. We know they're the same interrogators from the voices (that should be way more different just saying these are odd choices man) and the fact they're both getting given extremely private information directly from Fazbear themselves. Like. Come on man. Yeah the chair is probably too big for them or something and they could be a younger person, but you're telling me a ten year old is able to be company mandated to have a Fazbear brand interrogation? Nah I don't believe that.

Unless Gregory's guardians are particularly easy to sway or Fazbear won some kind of legal thing to make him have to go to these meetings, I don't believe that at all. Even if he's going voluntarily, why would they be interrogating him? If he's going voluntarily, outside of it being mandated, then just. Why. Surely some random kid that's apparently a tech genius or some shit would be able to out them for the malpractice if so desired.

ANYWAY

Something I did notice outside of the nonsense, one of the interrogators talking to Vanessa says the building they are currently in is where the messages are being sent to and from. With that in mind, where the fuck are they?? Like... another one is like "have you heard of the Pizza Plex?" so it's not there. My guess is this is before Vanessa transfers to the Plex, or some of these are in the Plex while others aren't. Why would they be interrogating in the Plex? I dunno. Beats me man. Ask whoever wrote this. Unfortunately, 'its Fazbear' is a fucking catch all for weird decisions.

Next thing I noticed, was that Vanessa was talking about her job being important and that there's a non-disclosure agreement. Dude. Whatcha doin' Ness? You're clearly not a night guard when you're typing on computers all day. Programming Glitch into the Help Wanted game? Finishing the game? Developing the MXES or a way to quarantine Glitchtrap?

They say she's transferring to a different location soon, not that she's got a new job. Which makes me wonder what her job actually is?? It implies she's not changing jobs and she's doing the same thing so if this is when she transfers to the Plex, then night guarding must just be the cover up some higher up gave her to keep her under surveillance I guess? What would she have to be searching for on the internet to do her job though? What's so important that Fazbear is monitoring even encrypted conversations? Was this all some big elaborate scheme the company did to get another killer on the loose? Did they recognise the kinds of conversation she was having, and were like 'oh okay well the Tubes are full of bodies already so I guess she's getting interrogated!!' Like. Head in hands.

This one guy is hacking the Plex? Manipulating Vanessa? Or manipulating a third person to manipulate Vanessa? Luring interrogators to the Plex and killing them with animatronics?

Nah. This is just ridiculous. I suppose if it is supposed to be GGY or Gregory then it explains how grown ass adults were lured to the Plex at night by a child, (since it's their job to SPY not HELP) but like. Why. What was the point. For fun? Killing Fazbear interrogators for shits and giggles? Yeah okay fine but like. The rest?? Doesn't make sense??? It just. Feels like there's nothing going on here but it's trying really hard to seem like there is, ya know? I don't get it. Why would they even bother with Vanessa at that point? Does she know who they are or is this an attempt to pin shit on her with Vanny?

It feels like the more layers that get added to this, the less it feels like a story to me. Like, there's a lot of death and manipulation and shit going on but... where's the point? This doesn't feel like it's leading anywhere??? Like... what's even the end game here?? Where are we supposed to be going with this???

Honestly, the silent guy making software that asks and responds in a way that makes the interrogator feel it's a back and forth in their head, gave me Mimic or Story Teller vibes man. Did they just... make the Mimic? Or another Mimic? I don't get it. This feels like it's supposed to mean something but doesn't actually give you anything to draw a meaning from other than 'luring interrogators to their death and manipulating people'. Silent guy as a Mimic or something? Trying to train the Mimic? This Guy is making the animatronics more 'eerie' so like. Just odd then? Just a bit off? Alright man...

This is making me tired man. I can't think of a single satisfying narrative or conclusion to draw from this, and I'm not sure if I care to at this point. I got my information on Vanessa and Luis and just. Lore stuff for a story that's going nowhere I guess?

I'm just tired man. I'm interested what conclusions other people have drawn from this using other evidence from wherever though! I might not be able to form much of something in this, but if someone else can, I'd love to know what these CDs lead people too!

[pumpkinchescake]

Seeing alot of these with absolutely nothing on actually giving internet safety advice. Thank you for being the first one to at least talk about being sure of links. Be the internet safety advice you want to see! (on the internet).

So here are my 2 cents on internet safety. I know it won't reach anyone and it's probably not great advice but add ons would be greatly appreciated anyway.

•If there is a link from an unknown source you want to click on, copy paste it into your browser. You can make a hyper link look like a link to something else. You can also google common links (google knows what the rickroll link is)

•A source is considered unknown even if you've talked to them online a few times already. This doesn't mean you haven't made an internet friend, you probably have and that's great! Making a habit of being aware of where your going also helps provent seeing things you didn't want to see like that pesky rickroll.

•A link can download something onto your computer (like a background cryptocurrency minner) or steal your discord token (account) if that's a platform you're opening links from.

•If you use windows you will have a program called task manager. Once open there should be a "start-up" tab near the top of the window. If your computer is running slow out of nowhere you can look through there for a list of everything on your computer that runs on when you turn your PC on. Do not disable things without googling (or binging) them first, important things should show up so nothing is a bad sign.

•Task manager will also tell you everything running on your computer. You can close or "end task" these things. Some of the programs if end tasked will blue screen your computer. All of those ones are background programs.

•The "must be 18+" thing means there is something weird behind here. Sometimes that means porn, sometimes that means gore. Whether you are over 18 or not, saying you are at that wall means being fine with seeing what's behind it (because you cannot unsee that)

•All other times you should be either lying about or being vaugue about your age. Your grade level reveals your age so you should lie about that too. People who want to be nice to you should still treat you the same but people who are not will be targeting their trap at an age group. If you say your older they might not target you in the first place and if you say your younger they'll just be weird (people who think I'm younger are always like, creepy friendly with giving stuff and asking weird questions, do not recommend.)

•If you click a link and it immediately wants you to log in with your password see if you can get to that same page via other means. This is how Facebook and YouTube scams work.

•If a pop up says "you need to call [number] to keep using your computer" do NOT call that number. Do not touch anything. Remove all power from you computer, turn it off at the wall or let the laptop run out of battery. If it is not fixed when you turn it back on aquire someone who knows what they are doing with computers. When I say someone who knows what they are talking about I do not mean "oh teenagers know computers" I mean someone who probably knows a programing language or has an opinion on specific Linux distros.

•If a video on the internet has people doing weird stuff with electricity or mixing chemicals (chemical closet or cleaning chemicals chemicals, water is fine lol) Please research it really well before trying to replicate. Probably don't replicate anyway but even ant killers shouldn't be mixed unless you know precisely what you are doing.

•Don't give away your location. Just because they told you their location does not mean you can return the favour. Things you CAN say about your location, either your country or your time zone (preferably not both), spelling words based on your region (using multiple languages or "colourful mum" vs "colorful mom"), and "it's winter here" "I live near a forest" "I went down the road the other day to the coffee shop" type sentences. Still be vaugue though. Think before you post "if I read this from someone else would I know where they live". Don't specify which forest or coffee shop.

Considering it's mostly adults on here anyway instead of kids. Add the thing someone you know fell for (like an idiot and it's been pissing you off ever since) and then add how to AVOID IT. Instead of being mad we can share resources gosh damnit.

Really genuinely feel like we need to bring back internet safety classes.

[machinavillage]

i think i complained about my internet friend i visited irl last month.

about a week after i got home, after not talking to him for a week i tried to explain why i was upset. and he gave a pretty bland apology idk what else i expected. and sometimes i miss talking to him, but i sort of dont anymore. now im worried about when he's going to reach out to me again, or if we never talk again, or if im supposed to. or what. but i also dont feel like i can talk to him. its kinda funny.

like main thing was really that i was viscerally uncomfortable the whole time i was there. horrible dirty bathroom and he gave me nasty food and i would feel weird if i ordered takeout without him. and i travelled 8 hours on plane and he didnt want to go anywhere or do anything. just sit and play on his ps5. and he had the gall to look over at me and say "oh i wanted to text you right now but i realized youre right there". and when i got him to go out and go places with me, he clearly didnt want to be there. and he'd complain like "oh i dont want to go somewhere on the bus if we're on the bus for 30 minutes or more" bitch i was on a plane overnight for you? fuck you!

and now its like. i regret all the times i tried to talk to him about how i was failing to cope with child abuse and csa stuff like. i poured my heart out to this person and he never really gave a shit and had some of the cruelest responses to me honestly. and i kept fucking trying because i thought if im patient enough ill get something good in return.

i dont get shit i keep getting someone who tells me "oh, i really learned my lesson that time! im so sorry! i need to think more about how i treat you" and like. am i supposed to be learning something? did i do something wrong i need to learn from. is this mutual? at all?

i kept offering to buy him food and pay for all the ubers too because he didnt have a job right now. all i asked for in return was that he be somewhat interested in spending time with me. but since i couldnt even get that, i feel like i wasted hundreds of dollars now. i still didnt know ahead of time that it was possible for my feelings to turn in that way. like every mistake and every time he's pissed me off before is coming back now. it all got recontexualized and i realize he must not care about me at all.

i was going to tell him that im fine just being friends with him online but now im not even sure thats true. the stuff i complained about in my visit with him isnt even all of it. its way longer than that i just picked a few of the things that really hurt. he wouldnt go on an 1-2 hour walk through a nearby park with me. it was like 30 minutes to there, but i wouldve paid for the uber to or something and we couldve walked outside. he just "didnt feel like it". but then when he introduced me to his friend she said they went there together all the time??? whats up with that. why am i nothing.

like idk what to say to him now but saying nothing is starting to eat at me. int he back of my mind i dread him messaging me. i want him to disappear now. none of this is stuff id type about someone i still felt close to. but it feels weird to instantly hate someone because of that. but im not sure its instant either. i just cant really sort it out.

i feel like i kept waiting for years and saying "this is the person im closest too this is the only person i can tell this stuff to" especially in regards to trauma stuff and i just picked the wrong person entirely. and i kept thinking if continue trying it would pay off and id really really get something good. im so stupid. all that time i kept saying "this is the person im closest to" was probably time i couldve spent actually talking to other people or finding actual support.

now its been years since i socialized with people and i dont know how to. all for someone who seems to not care about me, not get anything out of me aside from playing video games together. and i guess i imagined everything i gained from being close to him.

[straycatboogie]

2023/06/30 English

BGM: Eels - Grace Kelly Blues

Caution: This journal has a really dangerous trigger "suicide" so be careful for reading.

Today I worked late. This morning, at the LINE group I belong to I found a news a friend had shared to us. Hyogo prefecture, where we are living in, started to make a system of "gatekeepers". The "gatekeepers" are the people who try to help the people who have serious mental sickness which drive them to death. I read it and thought a lot. "What would I do if I was driven to suicide?", or "What would I do if my precious friends were suffered from their fatal problems?"... I remember this. About over 10 years ago, the period I had been writing more negative, terrible journals every day, a person had commented about them on his website really kindly. Although I couldn't have answered to him because I was just a coward, I tried to write an e-mail to him. "I started a new social media account. I wanna invite you". Then his younger sister answered me as an e-mail. It told me hat he had chose suicide and now has passed away. I stopped my thought, and cried at last.

As I wrote yesterday, recently I am thinking about that suicide issue. When I was a teenager, A Japanese writer Wataru Tsurumi had written a manual about "complete suicide". He declared that "suicide is OK" in that book. It became a million seller/bestseller book. TBH I had bought that book, and read and started thinking "Suicide is great" and "Why shouldn't I chose die if I wanna die?". That was a medicine/pain killer for me at my teenage terrible days. Although this might sound strange/weird, I tried to simulate my death by suicide clearly by reading that book and got a power to live on paradoxically. Imagining my death, the end of my life exactly worked as providing the idea of "limited my life". That idea made me think that I should live this life preciously because it has a certain limit (Does this sound like Heidegger or Sartre?). And I became a college student, and I confessed my friends about that suicide manual, and noticed that "fine people never think about suicide". I had to face the distorted troubles in my life, my way to here...

I have lived such a troublesome life so I can never say "You should live" and "Never kill yourself" strongly/cruelly. And also I don't want to say "You can choose death anytime" and "Suicide is OK". I have watched a lot of people who have said "I wanna die" and "I can't go anymore". TBH I was once the person who had said "I can't live anymore" and "Why can't I choose suicide?". I had cried a lot on the internet... But I never want YOU to choose death. Egoistic? It can be. Or I am just a hypocrite or ignorant person. I might be a childish simple man... But I must feel sad if YOU die. YOU might say these things. "My life can never be related with yours" and "It's up to me how I live my own life". Of course, YOU are right. Even if YOU lived in the real hell, I couldn't solve all of your problems. That would mean that I am just a hypocrite... YOUR words hurt me like that. Yes, I am simple... YOUR words, YOUR smartness hurt that kind of my childish personality.

But... I want to tell you the truth I had gripped in my life. By the experiences of mine which had bee n brought by the days I had lived in MY real hell. YOU are not alone, this is the truth I had gotten. My life, My being is not just mine. I have been supported/helped by various people. Once I had been a terrible lonely heavy drinker who had lived as a living dead, but I also had tried to survive this life with the connection of the meeting about autism. And also I had sought for the relationship on Discord and other services. Although this might sound as "the scolding ABOVE you", but I want to say that "You shouldn't give up"... But I need more words to explain this. Now, various people worry me. They sympathize to me... They also smile/cry with me. "BULLSHIT! You are just lucky and that's all"... YOU would say so? Oh no, I wanted to write about Eels, one of my favorite rock band which gives me a certain power against suicide, but I couldn't.