#and i want to be honest about it just...in case of anything
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dreamsteddie · 1 day ago
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There is an AITA out there that I can't find but it's been haunting me for weeks with visions of semi-angsty Steddie that I need to release onto the world. (If anyone happens to know what I'm talking about hit me up and I'll link it)
Edit: @jazzathebunny found the original AITA from Reddit linked Here for anyone who wants to read it. ------
Modern AU, Eddie and the guys are a moderately successful local band in the Chicago area playing gigs on the weekends and doing small tours whenever they all have the time. Gareth and Jeff are both in college while Eddie and Freak are both working part-time at a game store. Eddie managed to lock down that assistant manager position that lets him work 30 hours a week with weekends off for gigs. All in all, it's a pretty sweet deal and they can't complain.
Eddie had sworn off dating after a small handful of disastrous relationship attempts in their first year in the city. He dismisses any advances from people who attend their shows and tries not to think about how much he wants to make a genuine connection with someone and have something real. He's been burned one too many times to try and make something with someone he met in a bar or at work.
He knows the guys talk about it behind his back sometimes, he catches Jeff and Gareth fervently whispering to each other and stopping when they catch him entering the room one time too many to not suspect they're talking about him and he can't think of anything else going on in his life that they would feel the need to whisper about.
The fervent conversations take a slight uptick one day and about a week and a half after they do, Gareth hits him up and tells him he wants to set Eddie up with a guy from one of his classes. At first, Eddie is skeptical and cites all the reasons why he doesn't want to try with anyone right now but eventually, Jeff jumps in to plea the case and Freak jumps in on top of that and under the combined weight of his best friends he agrees to meet up with this Steve guy.
The guys set up the whole thing and before Eddie knows it it's Saturday night and he's wearing his best black jeans and a gray button-down, untucked, to go on an honest to God blind date like his life is some low-budget romcom.
Steve is not at all what Eddie thought he would be. Not the kind of guy he thought his friends would pick out for him given they know he usually goes for other alternatives like himself. Steve, who is shyly waving him over and getting out of his seat to great him, is the very epitome of prep. Well-fitted polo, light blue chinos, and what Eddie assumes this guy thinks are casual loafers. He's handsome to be sure, a 12/10 at least with perfect hair and defined biceps but Eddie is fairly sure he's being punked.
But, Eddie doesn't want to be rude so he goes to meet Steve at the table, confirming just in case that he's actually here to meet with a guy named Eddie. Steve gives him a bit of a confused look, saying that Gareth showed him a couple pictures of Eddie before he agreed to meet and figured he'd done the same for Eddie off Steve's Instagram. Gareth had, in fact, not done anything of the sort but they both dismiss it and get on with their date.
In all honesty, Eddie is expecting it to be a complete wash, but it turns out that even if Steve is not at all what Eddie would have previously said what his type, Steve is damn near perfect. He's funny, kind, a little bitchy, and even though he proves himself to be every bit the sports nerd he looks like he doesn't turn his nose up at Eddie's own much more classically nerdy interests. By the end of the date, Eddie has a new type and that type is Steve Harrington. He's quick to lock down a second date for the next weekend which Steve happily agrees to. They exchange numbers and Steve gives Eddie a chaste kiss on the cheek that has him floating all the way home.
Steve texted him that next morning letting him now he had a great time and is really looking forward to their next date and Eddie thinks this might be the start of something big for him. When he gets to practice he's clearly still floating on cloud nine and in his own little world designing their marriage invitations and matching tombstones so he doesn't notice the sly grins on his bandmates' faces.
"So...how'd it go last night? Everything you dreamed it would be?" Gareth asks, a strange glint in his eyes that Eddie doesn't clock.
Eddie goes on and on about how nice Steve was and how he might be The One, thanking Gareth profusely. Freak looks pleased for him, giving him a hard pat on the shoulder in congratulations but when Eddie finally tunes back into the real world he's greeted by Gareth's livid expression and Jeff's overly concerned one.
He asks the guys what the fuck is up and it turns out that Gareth and Jeff set this whole thing up as a prank of sorts. Eddie was never supposed to hit it off with Steve who Gareth selected specifically because he's a "totally brain-dead prep" and as far away as someone could get from Eddie's previous relationships. He was supposed to be someone Eddie could go on a date with and not form a connection with without getting completely burned at the end like all his previous relationships in the hopes of getting him out of his slump.
Jeff was in on it as well. He wanted to get Eddie back out there, so when Gareth presented the plan he sat in on a couple of Gareth's general credit business class sessions to help pick the guy out.
After Jeff and Gareth finish explaining he does a complete 180 and just...leaves. In any other situation, he would be raging and verbally tearing his friends a new asshole but instead, he completely disengages and walks out the garage door, ignoring his friends' shouts to come back.
He goes back home, socked and hurt and so very confused about how the hell he found himself in this position when his phone lights up.
New Message: Steve H.
Fuck.
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Part two coming soon??? Maybe???? We'll see.
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userautumn · 3 days ago
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Please. Tommys helicopter crashing while him and Buck are still broken up? That would be such great drama.
You know what I want? I want Buck to get mad. He has yet to actually get mad at a love interest. He's been hurt and confused, but I want him to get angry. I want him to go out and fuck like he's getting revenge on Tommy, even though he's the one who got left behind again, and I want him to convince himself he's absolutely fine. Eddie can see it, of course. Bobby and Maddie and all the people who love him can see that he's not fine, but I want Buck to pretend he is like he'll die if he doesn't. He deletes Tommy's name from his contacts and dumps all his stuff in the trash and erases his existence from his life like he's nothing more than yesterday's news.
I want this to continue through the rest of the season, long enough that both the characters and the audience start to think that maybe Buck is fine after all. Maybe this whole thing with Tommy was just a mistake, a hiccup. Maybe Tommy was right and saw writing on the wall that Buck didn't. Maybe he was smart by getting out when he did because Buck doesn't cry. He doesn't vent to Eddie, or show up on his doorstep like a kicked puppy. He lives fast and vibrant, and shows up to work covered in hickeys and lipstick and other people's cologne, and if Tommy really was as transformative of a love as he believed he was, shouldn't he be devastated?
Anyway.
Fast forward to the season finale. Athena has been following a case of corporate corruption where an auto and aeronautics manufacturer has been exposed for using faulty parts in their vehicles that have resulted in auto collisions and deaths across the country. None of this really concerns or interests Buck at all, if he's being honest. He fixes his own car for the most part (Tommy showed him how) and that which he can't do, he takes to his usual mom-and-pop mechanic for them to work on. Which is to say that, his life consists of sex and work, so news reports of [Same Company] being responsible for a Cessna crashing in Northern California don't really filter through.
Not until the 118 is called to a helicopter crash just outside of Los Angeles.
Even then, Buck doesn't think about Tommy. Why would he? Tommy Kinard is barely even a memory at this point, just an idea on the edge of his brain, an almost that was quickly buried. Helicopters crash all the time, so he has no reason to believe there's anything out of the ordinary about this one. But then when they're en route, Maddie's voice comes over the radio, tight with emotion and forcibly professional in a way that makes him immediately nauseous: Captain Nash, please be advised that the helicopter in question is one of our own. It's an LAFD chopper. Then, Hen and Eddie and Chimney and Bobby all turn to look at him, and Buck has nowhere to run from their gaze. Even if he did, he couldn't, because he feels paralyzed. Bobby's voice asking if there are any survivors, and Maddie's voice saying she's unsure get lost to the thrum of his heartbeat in his ears. Every repressed emotion, every memory, every bit of desperate longing and grief and love and anger comes rushing back in full force and all Buck can do is sit there while the engine weaves through Los Angeles traffic.
Tommy is fine, of course. He codes on the way to the hospital (Buck performing CPR on his boyfriend while begging him to stay alive is my drug), but once all is said and done, once he's come out of surgery with a little more metal in his body than he went in there with, he's okay. Buck isn't, not by a mile. He's full of too many emotions that he doesn't know how to sort through, chief among them being love, followed closely by anger, and then, guilt, of all things. But after Tommy opens his eyes, after Buck breaks down spectacularly, and after they finally confess that they love each other, Buck makes Tommy look him in the eyes:
"You don't get to run from this. Not again. I mean it. If you get scared, you talk to me. If you need to slow down, you talk to me. You don't make decisions for me, for us, and expect me to be okay with it. That's not how this works."
"Okay."
"I mean it, Tommy. I can't -"
"I mean it too. I promise. Okay?"
"Okay."
Anyways. Yeah. That's how I would do it.
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starlitprism · 3 days ago
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"That's a Major": My Marcille Degree Rant
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OK we're starting with this. Funny right? Yeah.
BUT IT GOT ME THINKING
You know what no one brings up in that story? NO ONE?!
This is just a major. This is a MAJOR! YOU CAN DO IT AT HER ALMA MATER.
It is not HER FAULT that this was available. She went in, saw something interesting and went "COOL" because IT'S A MAJOR. Because apparently this CODIFIED FORM OF STUDY is also just something the elves hate. NOW, it honestly seems to surprise all the characters that this was a MAJOR she could choose but let's be honest here. This is just a reverse of the meme where experts greatly overestimate how much the average person knows about their craft. Of course they don't know. The only one that WOULD know in the story is the impetus for the whole FUCKING PLOT.
She who probably would respond by "yeah I know. That's on the curriculum. I took an intro class" BUT NO. We don't get that because she's too busy being dead or other weird shit partially thanks to that same set of courses. Like, you will notice everyone is super surprised when they bring her back but NOT HER. SHE KNEW. Everyone else is like "look at this unholy abomination" when it's just like a history degree. Seriously though, Falin seems a little surprised and disoriented at first but otherwise seems utterly unfazed at waking up in a blood circle surrounded by a dead dragon's innards.
THAT SAID, I am exaggerating for comedy. Here is what we actually know. In the very next scene in the hot tub, she does note that there was something about the circle that felt wrong to her. So maybe she didn't know her shit about this. Or, maybe she only knew about it academically as related to what Marcille studied and never seen or experienced it in any way. That or somehow Marcille managed to keep a secret from the woman she very obviously adores with her literal everything which I... doubt. Then again, she is Laios' sister so who knows if she carries the same level of general obliviousness (I am also autistic like Laios is so I can just state that outright. We can be fucking OBLIVIOUS at times).
It also goes to show, the elves are idiots. They are so certain that this is so unknown that they have to hunt individuals while there is some professor(s) somewhere just... teaching it. Or at least something related! For, like, a day job! And they never even think to ask "where are all these people learning this" NO. THEY DON'T. THIS IS GONNA KEEP HAPPENING. BECAUSE IT'S JUST AVAILABLE. AND THEY, in their hubris, can't imagine ANYONE EVER having this information BUT THEM. It could just be freely available and everyone knows not to talk about it because the elves got a SPIKE in their collective ass!
Ok, you ask, "but what if it was a secret?" and you know what? Fair. To that I have to say https://tenor.com/view/marcille-best-girl-failure-tantrum-breakdancing-dungeon-meshi-delicious-in-dungeon-gif-7429268588073434370
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(The above is a picture and link to a gif of Marcille on her head, kicking her legs wildly because this girl doesn't react normally ever to anything) This. This is Marcille when something happens. She's not subtle. She has never been subtle. She commonly screams her reactions. I call bullshit on secret.
More importantly though, that's not really how education tends to work. People study something and, outside of MAYBE grad school level or PhD level minimum, you largely talk with people who know your subject.
You gotta remember, education is a bunch of nerds who want to talk about their shit. People don't just research something to know it. They research it to publish it and have it peer reviewed even if it's just an assignment they turn into their professor which I guess is like a first step to publishing.
Research is gathered, references found, pointed to, and then showed off. AND IN THE CASE OF PRACTICAL STUDIES, people do it! You got to prove your research was right. Otherwise it's a bunch of potentially useless theory. So if you think Marcille hasn't done SOMETHING like this before, there's no way. She was confident she could do SOMETHING about it. Just saying, I would pay a lot to see the face's on the member of her dissertation committee.
I brought this up with some friends and they mentioned that she might have just studied Dungeon creation and studied Ancient Magic on her own. And fair but then Ancient Magic wouldn't be her specialty would it? At least, except in a very egotistical self estimated way without ANY outside feedback which is a core tenet of education. Unless she was the pre-eminent lone scholar of ancient magic of course but she never goes on about that so i'm going assume that's not the case. Here is what we got from the show
In the show she says "What I specialize in is actually ancient magic which is highly forbidden. It's use is frowned upon but using it to revive Fallin, it's our best option"
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When Senshi and Chilchuck, protested she just says "magic doesnt' have morality"
Now I could be wrong but for this wonderfully high-strung woman whose reactions are so so much, this looks practiced and calm. She either has defended this before, was quoting something someone else (like a teacher), or somehow she has suppressed all her beautiful exaggerated weirndess in the midst of ABSURD amounts of stress. Personally, I think Option 2 and 1 are more likely as this is a highly emotional subject for her and her self control is shit.
Like seriously, let's say her alma mater doesn't have a class that teaches ancient magic. Let's say, no one but her knows much of anything. What would happen if someone caught her in the library grabbing strange books that have scraps of ancient magic knowledge in them? She's allowed to be there but she's just so... HER that she would probably jump in surprise and try and justify it while trying NOT to reveal what she is researching. And because she has all the cool of a pickle, EVERYONE in school would know Marcille was up to something.
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The above is a picture of Marcille losing her shit from a video titled "Marcille gradually losing her mind for 6 minutes || Dungeon Meshi. The link to it is https://youtu.be/gmY2x8_nnjw
So yeah, there would be rumors. The worst kept secret in the school is Marcille is a bad girl who researches something questionable. To say nothing of the fact that this girl has demonstrated major teacher's pet energy. I would put my money on there being at least one professor there who gets occasional downloads of ancient magic from one of their top students all while they look on going "I can tell no one" unless of course there is an actual program.
FOR MY FINAL POINT I HAVE BUT ONE WORD TO GIVE. Internet
By which I mean, the lack of it. Do you have any idea how hard it is to research something based only on the physical books you have access to in a specific location? IT TAKES AWHILE TO GET ANYWHERE.
That means travel for you or your subject matter and, with something like THIS that could be considered dangerous, you would have to be SO damn careful to make sure you don't get a reputation as "the ancient magic girl." That said, she's a (warning, spoilers) half elf so she has time. SO MUCH TIME. But we know it hasn't been too much time because Falin attended at the same time as her. Falin and her brother did various (failed) things for several years before Marcille showed up at the dungeon. I, at least, don't know how much time passed but they both clearly look to be in their 20s or so to me. Could be wrong due to the art style but that's just my read. At most, SUPER low 30s. Which means, Marcille couldn't have been traveling everywhere taking months and months to cross seas to get specific books for that long. That time would get eaten up so very quickly.
WHICH LEADS US back to the start. And my claim that the simplest most likely explanation IS
This Is
A Major
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duskdog · 22 hours ago
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David Cain possessing Cass and making her like him is eerily similar to how Batman seemed to view her in the beginning -- both had a very specific person they wanted Cass to be, and in both cases, it was basically just a better version of themselves. I suspect a lot of people would say "well the difference is that David was abusive to Cass" but let's be absolutely honest with ourselves: Batman was, too. It wasn't exactly in the same way as David, and Cass was older and had more autonomy, and Cass herself enabled the behavior somewhat (but let's remember Cass was also still a minor, and had been raised in an abusive way that would have taught her that being treated this way was normal for her at least), but Batman absolutely dehumanized Cass in a way similar to her father because he didn't see her as a person in her own right, but as a perfect extension of himself and his ideals. He actively encouraged her to have no life or identity of her own outside of Batgirl. He deliberately cut her off from her best friend (one of very few friends that she has, total), at least partially because he couldn't bear the thought of anything influencing her away from his idea of perfection. When she's in emotional turmoil over someone dying on her watch, all he cares about is how much of a failure she is for it (something Cass is particularly sensitive about), and he repeatedly stresses the need for absolute perfection. I don't think we can or should ignore how emotionally damaging this is for someone who already loathes themselves for their one "mistake" and who views themselves as nothing more than a weapon. When he sees the tapes of her murdering someone, he twists himself into pretzels to believe that the tape is fake -- not because the concept of a child killing someone is repulsive, but because the concept of Cass killing someone is repulsive. Why is the concept of Cass killing someone repulsive to him? Because it makes her unlike him. And because if he has to accept that it's true, he knows he might not be able to forgive her for that. Nevermind that she was a horrifically-abused very young child who had no way of understanding what she was really doing. Batman doesn't give a shit about any of that, or how Cass herself feels about it -- he only cares about whether or not she's who he wants her to be. Is it any wonder that Cass took to him so quickly, particularly after being alone for so long? She saw someone who was like her, true, and who gave her violence purpose... but he was also someone who objectified her in the same way that David Cain had, and that, to her, was love.
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I think it's an interesting comparison that for all David's faults, the one thing Cass never doubted for a second was that he loved her. Her two biological parents are an abusive monster who wants to possess her and make her like him but who always made her feel loved, and Shiva who in her own way wants to help Cass and build her into the best version of herself she can be... but would never for as long as either of them will live tell her "I love you."
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jdkwjdjs · 4 days ago
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Why is no one talking about ryan posting a picture of the well scene with buck and eddie
And then when the episode came out and he did his interview he started saying eddie is straight etc ????
(Even tho he literally posted a picture of buck and eddie in the well and also other buddie account content and he still had the audacity to say eddie is straight and buck isnt his journey despite KNOWING there was a chance fans were going to go insane bc i KNOW he knows how huge the buddie fandom is and how buddie fans are hopeful) like hello ????!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!
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cybergothvox · 4 months ago
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Two-faced
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polydamnory · 11 hours ago
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A chance to talk about my OCs? Say no more!
I think my (technically not an OC, technically also is an OC) rendition of Arke from Greek Mythology would be the most interesting because she’s… a lot, to say the least. She probably wouldn’t have much of an opinion on most of them, the empowered characters and demons she’d probably just assume are some weird monsters or demigods, but Blake… Blake would make her angry. Specifically because of D’Deridahn.
In a way she understands D’Deridahn, she too was a deity locked away in a hellish (literally) prison after a very long and arduous war. And she too was only able to escape said prison due to the machinations of a mortal (or in her case, two mortals) fucking around in the world of the dead. But everything else about him is just one big reminder of the pure anger and spite that is driving her forward. Selfish old gods using and abusing those under/weaker than them all because they can is what got her into this mess, and to see them once again be set free, this time without anyone more powerful to keep them in check, fills her with so much rage she can feel it threatening to rip her apart.
And Blake? He freed this being all for the sake of one other person? That is something she could never understand. Because even though she does understand wanting to do anything to keep her loved ones safe, even to her point of doing something drastic that will most likely do nothing in the end but make someone else’s life a little worse, putting so many others lives in danger would ultimately not be worth it. You either do what you can so you are the only one that pays for your actions, or you don’t do it at all.
She’d probably try and kill him, to be honest.
ok cmere listen
take an oc you have from literally any universe that you have (other than redacted)
tell me what’s happening if they were to run into
- david
- huxley
- vega
- porter
- geordi
- blake
- hush
you can doooo as many of them as you want to
(this is just an excuse to hear about peoples OCs btw)
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st4rstudent · 7 months ago
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I've had this idea for a while but everytime I actually gave it thought, I'd get frightened last minute. But anyways, with summer coming up (and more free time), I've been considering making an ask blog of sorts just for fun. Does that seem like anything anyone would be interested in
naturally itd be more hc based because well. heh. looks around. gets scared
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the-lark-ascending69 · 8 months ago
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Another take regarding my rewatch... s3 Robin and s4 Robin are not different people. She's still a snarky little shit (see Steve freaking out about spiders and Robin telling him he won't be able to find the nest until they hatch and all the baby spiders come out, to which Steve and Nancy respond by saying she has problems). She calls Dustin and Max toddlers, makes fun of Steve, etc. She just insults him a bit less because now she actually holds a little bit of respect for him.
You also have to consider Robin spent all of s3 with two teenage boys and a neoliberal 10yo with even more snark than her. No wonder she'd spend all day making fun of them. But now, now she gets to interact with girls. You may think Robin being worried about annoying Nancy and seeking approval from her is ooc because annoying Steve was her life purpose in s3, but I think her concern is not being annoying. She said it in s3, she was desperate for Tammy to like her and heartbroken when she didn't. She also said she deep down wanted to be accepted. Robin wants approval and acceptance from people she likes and respects, especially if they're girls. That's not a contradiction, that's character depth. But the show trusts people to understand that without having Robin look into the camera and say "i behave in different ways with a known douchebag i don't trust than I do with a girl I like and respect" so that might go over some people's heads
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hudson-everett · 3 days ago
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hudson always questioned and second guessed if the sharmas got annoyed at him for visiting so often. he didn't have a great relationship with own family. he didn't even know his father because he'd walked out before seeing him and his mother had become an addict over time and was refusing to recover for him or anyone else. hudson felt like he didn't matter to most people but the sharmas had always made him feel welcome which was nice. the sharmas were supportive of his career and gave him advice when he asked for it. hudson had briefly spoke about his relationship with his parents one time a long time ago after one of zayn's parents asked him something about them. "zayn's my best friend in the entire world. i don't ever try and get on the wrong side of him." although, in the back of his mind, hudson was worried that his relationship that was blossoming between zayn's sister and himself was going to get him in trouble. losing zayn or angel would be horrible. those two people were the people that hudson knew he could talk too about anything. he treated their younger sister zara like a younger sister to himself too. hudson playfully nudged zara in the arm as she insulted him a little. "you don't think i'm cool? who else do you know that's got a motorcycle"? hudson loved his bike. speeding down empty roads with the wind rushing against his face made him feel so much freedom at the times he needed it. hudson raised an eyebrow as the girl next to him started to tense once she mentioned the possibility of sharing a living space with a guy at some point in the future. "firstly, no. i don't think it's going to be a problem because your parents trust you enough to be mature and make your own choices." hudson simply nodded his head as she told him that she was planning to move in with an older boy - probably a year or two older than she was at this current time. another student at the university. "i think you should be honest with them from the get go. i think they'd rather hear it from your mouth than find it out from someone else." zara was a smart enough girl. she was an adult and could make decisions without having to be told what was the best option to do. "your parents will tell you the same thing as me - tell us who he is just in case of anything, make sure he's looking after you while you're staying there with him, and don't let him tell you make you do anything you don't want to do."
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zara adored having him around, even if she would never openly admit it. he was a great guy, and her family loved him too. he had this charm about him, and although she liked to joke around, deep down, she cherished every moment they spent together. "of course you're not scared of him, what the hell," she chuckled, shaking her head at his nonchalant attitude. "i wouldn’t be scared of him either," she added, keeping up with the playful teasing. “he loves you,” she mused thoughtfully. “i don't think he could ever get scary with you." she felt sure about that. the tattoos didn't intimidate her—it was more about her sister's choices anyway, and the family had grown used to hudson being around. "they do think you’re cool," she teased, rolling her eyes dramatically. "i still can’t see why, but hey, everyone’s wrong sometimes," she joked, a smile playing on her lips. watching hudson mask his own amusement when her brother was around always entertained her. he knew how to play it cool, something her brother definitely couldn’t pull off. she loved zayn, of course, but if she was being honest, hudson was easier to hang out with. she’d told zayn that once, and he hadn’t let her live it down, rolling his eyes every time the subject came up. "yes," she said with a grin, "i feel like i need the whole college experience." but as soon as moving with a boy came up, zara tensed a little, her usual confidence faltering for a moment. "do you think it’ll be a problem?" she asked quietly, her tone softer than before. “i���m moving with a boy,” she mused, as if thinking it through herself. “an older boy, not a teacher, but… older than me,” she added, glancing at hudson for reassurance. "do you think they'll be okay with that? or should i just… keep that to myself?" she asked, uncertain whether her family would be cool with the idea or if it would spark unnecessary concern.
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snekdood · 2 years ago
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I've never really actually cared about smearing my ex. I only ever wanted to clear my name and draw vent art to an audience i *thought* was removed from them. I didn't think anyone they knew or knee them were still watching me online so i felt like it was okay to finally draw vent art. Art that would only emotionally move them to actually give af about what they did but i felt was vague enough that people wouldnt trace it back to them. And then someone did, and then they wrote a whole callout post about me, which i was anticipating for years, but before that, theyve been for years building this image of me, where they know their audience knows theyre talking about me, theyve been trying to paint me as the abuser for years so that when they did call me out, people could refer to their comic and see "evidence" im bad because i guess thats evidence somehow??? Whatever the case. I feel like ive only been trying to clear my name since they started this. I never wanted it to devolve into this me vs them thing but they seemed to start off that way by default with me. I felt like i had to lay out everything they did to defend my point that i know what im talking about, im not crazy, and maybe listen to me because i might be right when i talk about myself specifically. The fact its gotten to this point is so stupid to me. It would have been so much easier for them to just drop the narrative of painting me as this horrible shitty person but no apparently we had to drag it all the way out to this point. I hate feeling like i have to constantly defend myself because theres a whole narrative about me thats entirely different from who I am. I hate that i felt like i needed to compile all this evidence that im innocent especially since even if i had direct evidence of their abuse people would still somehow find a way to dismiss it. All of this has been a waste of time but i guess so long as they get to throw my name in the trash and shit on it nothing else matters.
#why cant you just fucking apologize you pos#you and your friend were fucked up. you normalized fucked up shit in eachother. it made you think it was fine to treat me a certain way.#or. you treated me that way to paralyze me with ptsd. whatever the case. YOU fucked up. YOU need to face yourself and the consequences#of your actions and what you've done to me- both in and now outside of that relationship.#just because you can convince your followers and even yourself that you were the victim here doesnt make it true suddenly#you need to be fucking honest with yourself and what you did.#vent#i wouldnt even have cared they got popular off of stealing my art style nearly as much if they didnt also decide to drag my name in shit#while doing so.#like you will seriously do ANYTHING you can to try to smother me. and i know its because i know shit about you that you dont want other ppl#to know about. and no its not whatever embarrassing thing you think im trying to humiliate you with. its the weird rape shit you drew.#and its like dude. someone else found that for me. they literally found the website you used to use and i forgot the name of it.#if its so easy to trace this gross shit back to you how long do you think its gonna take for more and more ppl to discover it?#EVEN if you smear my name in shit?#maybe instead of constantly trying to evade your karma you should just embrace it for once. then maybe you'll be able to sympathize w#the shit you dragged me through too. like you dont care howuch you traumatize me at all so long as you can get away unscathed.#you are literally the worst person ive ever met.#ik whatever i say doesnt matter because its Not In Their Best Interest to give a fuck but. i do sometimes hope they look back on this shit#and really take in what the fuck theyve done to me and actually feel fucking bad about it for once. like how can you do this to someone and#feel nothing. it feels so cold and heartless and its why i think theyre just constantly looking away and instead of looking at themselves#directly.#theres nothing i could ever say that could make them do that.
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medicinemane · 5 days ago
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I don't know, those gifs of Andrew Garfield saying how to him the most terrifying thing is certainty... they resonate with me
The way people go around so damn sure that they're right about things, frankly I think there's very few things more dangerous than not even allowing for the possibility that you're wrong
Like you've just decided that you 100% know best, and from now on any evidence to the contrary is just something to be pushed aside because it's clearly wrong. The harm you'll do isn't real because obviously you wouldn't be doing it if there was harm. You're just right. That's the end of it
No, I agree with Andrew Garfield, I'd much rather stop and reassess over and over, as many times as I need to, to make sure that I'm still doing the right thing
I'll never be anything cause it just doesn't interest me, but if I was going to join a religion I know I'd become Jewish
Thought that since I was little with all the Jewish friends I had at school, and what's more it just seems to fit me best, all the elements of questioning. Hell... it even sounds like if I said "you know, I don't really believe in god", that there's a chance the rabbi might say "funny thing, me neither" (I've heard some don't), but if not that at least "eh, that's fine, why don't you come discuss why with us"
It's just funny the number of times I've related to something someone's saying, and then you find out their Jewish and this ties into that sense of questioning things, and that interview is an example
I agree with him, nothing scarier than being 100% sure you're correct... you can do a lot of bad things once you know for a fact you're right to be doing them
#I frankly worry quite a lot seeing some people who I like very much and the things they've been saying lately#worry a lot about extremism... and you might say left or right extremism? and my answer would be... both#you just gotta pick which of the people I worry about for me to tell you which is all; you know?#good people; kind people; you have to understand that the stuff that's worrying me is them coming from a place of caring#seeing harm and cruelty in the world and wanting to do something about it#and I worry... I worry; and I don't think my words mean anything even when I try and offer a nudge with a reason behind it#but then again.. I don't know if they've ever really listened to me about anything ever to be honest... I don't know why they keep me aroun#like I believe them when they say they like me cause I trust them#but... most of the time they don't even acknowledge what I say; so...#not sure if it's a communication miss match; or not being able to think how to respond; or... what...#but... when that's the case; I mean... why would they listen to me about serious stuff if they don't about the little stuff?#very smart; very caring; just an all around wonderful person#but... some of this stuff... like sometimes I worry they'll wind up full on accelertationist#and... I feel like their understanding of geopolitics ends up being too fed by... well... other people on tumblr#like I'm sorry but... I don't think you really grasp quite who those people actually are#and maybe some rando on here... they might just perhaps be... dismissing and ignoring inconvenient and bad stuff#like oy vey; I don't want to say specifics but like... how in the world can someone as smart as you wind up with such heavy blinders on?#...I just see it too much these days; too many people; too sure they're right#some folks it's religion; they have a little too much faith and... are willing to permit a lot of pain#some folks it's social justice; where they're kinda getting a list of acceptable targets#mhh... there's just this stuff building up in bad ways and... I don't know#one of em; I'll be blunt; I like them to much to ever stop following them... not following in the the tumblr sense#following after them like a dog; they're someone I could never quit.. doesn't mean I'd agree or support it.. but I'd never break off contac#right or wrong that's just the truth of it#guess what I'm saying here is don't go some place I can't follow#...it all comes from a place of caring; but man... it's a real bad direction#...it frankly eats at me... if you look through the stuff I say you might pick up a trend of this eating at me#fuck I wish they respected anything I said#or maybe they do and it just doesn't feel like it and they never seem to acknowledge a word I say unless it's a topic they like#but I wish they'd listen to me and just... just course correct such a tiny tiny tiny amount
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monsterfactoryfanfic · 4 months ago
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if I've learned anything from grad school it's to check your sources, and this has proven invaluable in the dozens of instances when I've had an MBA-type try to tell me something about finances or leadership. Case in point:
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Firefox serves me clickbaity articles through Pocket, which is fine because I like Firefox. But sometimes an article makes me curious. I'm pretty anal about my finances, and I wondered if this article was, as I suspected, total horseshit, or could potentially benefit me and help me get my spending under control. So let's check the article in question.
It mostly seems like common sense. "...track expenses and income for at least a month before setting a budget...How much money do I have or earn? How much do I want to save?" Basic shit like that. But then I get to this section:
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This sounds fucking made up to me. And thankfully, they've provided a source to their claim that "research has repeatedly shown" that writing things down changes behavior. First mistake. What research is this?
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Forbes, naturally, my #1 source for absolute dogshit fart-sniffing financial schlock. Forbes is the type of website that guy from high school who constantly posts on linkedin trawls daily for little articles like this that make him feel better about refusing to pay for a decent package for his employees' healthcare (I'm from the United States, a barbaric, conflict-ridden country in the throes of civil unrest, so obsessed with violence that its warlords prioritize weapons over universal medical coverage. I digress). Forbes constantly posts shit like this, and I constantly spend my time at leadership seminars debunking poor consultants who get paid to read these claims credulously. Look at this highlighted text. Does it make sense to you that simply writing your financial goals down would result in a 10x increase in your income? Because if it does, let me make you an offer on this sick ass bridge.
Thankfully, Forbes also makes the mistake of citing their sources. Let's check to see where this hyperlink goes:
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SidSavara. I've never heard of this site, but the About section tells me that Sid is "a technology leader who empowers teams to grow into their best selves. He is a life-long learner enjoys developing software, leading teams in delivering mission critical projects, playing guitar and watching football and basketball."
That doesn't mean anything. What are his LinkedIn credentials? With the caveat that anyone can lie on Linkedin, Mr. Savara appears to be a Software Engineer. Which is fine! I'm glad software engineers exist! But Sid's got nothing in his professional history which suggests he knows shit about finance. So I'm already pretty skeptical of his website, which is increasingly looking like a personal fart-huffing blog.
The article itself repeats the credulous claim made in the Forbes story earlier, but this time, provides no link for the 3% story. Mr. Savara is smarter than his colleages at Forbes, it's much wiser to just make shit up.
HOWEVER. I am not the first person to have followed this rabbit hole. Because at the very top of this article, there is a disclaimer.
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Uh oh!
Sid's been called out before, and in the follow up to this article, he reveals the truth.
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You can guess where this is going.
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So to go back to the VERY beginning of this post, both Pocket/Good Housekeeping and Forbes failed to do even the most basic of research, taking the wild claim that writing down your budget may increase your income by 10x on good faith and the word of a(n admittedly honest about his shortcomings) software engineer.
Why did I spend 30 minutes to make a tumblr post about this? Mostly to show off how smart I am, but also to remind folks of just how flimsy any claim on the internet can be. Click those links, follow those sources, and when the sources stop linking, ask why.
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windupaidoneus · 28 days ago
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sometimes i worry ppl think i say all that ahit to liek absolve him of guilt regarding what hes done or that im trying to be like auhhh he didnt wanna guysss its not his fault :(( but at the same time if someone expects that of me they probably arent worth worrying about
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drydak · 9 months ago
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also while i am speaking my truth i know like 10 years ago everyone really wanted everything turned into live action but at this point i would rather see a really well executed animated series than a live action one. because the live action ones have been well not good
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yanderenightmare · 5 months ago
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TW: angst, toxic traits, somewhat bullying, breakup
fem reader
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You’re his first girlfriend. He’d never bothered with anything serious before—it seemed too messy to trifle with. He doesn’t know why he suddenly decided. Suppose he’d been feeling a little bored, and something within him saw you as a fool-proof opportunity.
It wasn’t because you were anything special. Actually, it was more the opposite. You didn’t seem like too big of a risk. You were just a normal, honest, nice person—a bit of a loser, too, if he was being honest. He could do a lot better and pick someone of the same caliber as him, someone with a cooler style and presence, but then he’d only get caught up in the competition.
You were more to his appetite—a dorky, blushy lil’ nerd who giggled nervously at everything he said. In other words, no competition at all. You’d never dare break his heart because you frankly couldn’t afford it. And he found solace in that imbalance—knowing he held all the cards and that you could only be grateful he’d chosen you.
At least, that had been what he’d thought. But then, here you are, holding his hands from across the table in a cute little sundae café, telling him how this just can’t work anymore.
He’s confused for a whole minute before it sinks in.
You’re breaking up with him.
He’s confused afterward, too.
You’re breaking up with him?
That can’t be right. You must be joking. He almost laughs, almost cackles, but ends up staying completely silent. Something about that pitiful look in your eye makes his throat tight, and he almost thinks he’s going to cry instead. 
You’re breaking up with him. You, with him. His foot starts to tap. Have you hit your head or something? You’re dressed in a hoodie, for crying out loud, with not an ounce of make-up on—effortless, as if his perception of you wasn’t any of your concern while you’re fucking breaking up with him.
No way. There’s just no way. You must be confused about something, is all. There’s absolutely no way you’re doing this.
“What are you talking about?” It comes angry. Louder than he’d intended, enough to make you jolt in your seat. A couple of heads even turn your way. You wait for them to turn back before answering.
“I just think we’re a bit too different. And… I don’t know…” You were trying to find ways of telling him you weren’t in love with him but ended up deciding it was unnecessary—it wasn’t exactly something he needed to hear even though you had a lot you could say.
You’re rude and arrogant and treat me like some rescue pet you’ve nurtured back to health. You act like you’re embarrassed to be with me even though you’re the one without any friends. You’re selfish and spoiled and—
“If you don’t know, then there’s nothing to talk about. Quit being silly.” He has a furrow between his brows as he picks up the pink menu between the two of you, scanning the different types of milkshakes you could share and forget all about it. After all, you weren’t breaking up with him—that would just be absurd. “Let’s get strawberry.”
“No—”
“Guess we could get mango if you want that instead—”
“I’m not sharing drinks with you—”
“What? You tryna lose weight or something? Not like anyone but me is gonna see you when all you wear are those baggy hoodies all the time. Speaking of which, you should wear mine instead, they’d suit you better—”
“Listen.” You stop his rambling. “I’m not sharing drinks, and I’m not wearing your clothes. I’m not being silly, either. I’m being serious. It’s over—”
“No, it’s not.” His fist bangs against the table—the look in his eye on edge and twitchy. “I asked you why, and you had no good reason—so it’s not, not until you convince me.”
You had wanted to avoid it, but it seems he wouldn’t allow you the grace to spare him. That being said, you hadn’t meant to be so brutally honest…
“You’re a narcissist. You don’t treat me like a girlfriend. I’m more like a charity case or some type of experiment to you. Half the time, it feels as though you’re just playing a game with everyone in your life like pawns for you to shuffle around the board as you see fit.” You’re the one with the furrowed brows now, unable to bite your tongue as you’d kept it in all this time. “I think you should seek help and get your controlling tendencies straightened out before having any type of relationship. Or don’t. In any case, I don’t think I’m the right girl for you.”
There’s a silence. The chatter of the café seems distant. You feel half inclined to apologize as you look at him and stare down the glassy tabletop as if trying to find his reflection for comfort—but then he beats you to the punch.
“You’re right…” he starts softly, mustering the words, and you’re almost proud to see him take it so well, but then there’s a viscousness to his next words. “You’re not the right girl for me.”
When he looks up again, his face is warped—callous and seemingly disgusted by the sight of you. Something about it even seems to lash out at you, seeking revenge.
“I can’t believe I thought I saw something in you,” he sighs. “Turns out you’re exactly what everyone warned me you would be—just a plane-boring old Jane. What a joke—wasting so much time on something so worthless. Forget breaking up with me, I should have broken up with you a long time ago.”
He gets up in a rush and bears over the table, both palms laid flat upon the surface.
“Charity case?” he seethes, then conjures a fake laugh and an even faker grin. “I couldn’t have put it better myself. Enjoy sitting here alone like the loser you are.”
And even though you’re the one watching him walk away while ordering a chocolate sundae for yourself, you can’t help but feel sorry for the poor guy… 
That had been the most emotion you’d ever witnessed come from him.
Obviously, he doesn’t take it very well, stumbling through the café before bursting out the door, but even he’s surprised by how disheveled it had made him. He’s hyperventilating when the fresh air hits him, almost sprinting to his car so that he can lock himself inside it.
But the car only makes it worse as he’s far from alone in there. You’re everywhere. On the hood, waiting for him with a smile. In the rearview mirror, waving at him. In the seat next to him with a pout, asking if you can stay over. In the backseat, naked with a coy twinkle in your eye.
He knows! He has some of your underwear at home—he’ll threaten to pass them around campus unless you beg him to take you back. No, what’s he thinking!? You’ll never come back to him that way. Fuck, what can he do, what’s he supposed to do!? He just called you worthless—what that fuck was he thinking?!
The tears startle him as they drip down and splash upon his whitening knuckles, where he grips the wheel for dear life even as the car stays completely still—safe and sound in the same plot.
There’s a light pink lip balm on the dash. Yours. You must have left it there—maybe on purpose? No… you don’t play games like that. You’d been honest in the café. The fact terrifies him—his heart seems to want to reject it at all costs, the way it tears in his chest.
He picks the slim pink stick up and rolls it around in his hand, which can’t seem to stop shaking. You’d sat on his lap in this very seat, laughing at something dumb he’d said while applying the very same balm on his lip—kissing his forehead while saying something sweet. He knows it wasn’t, but he imagines you’d whispered that you loved him.
When he smears the balm around his lips this time, he imagines kissing you and your soft lips and that everpresent smile he never bothered telling you was pretty.
He’s such an idiot. The birds in the parking lot take flight at the jostling of his car, but no one hears the roar.
And as he sits there in the following silence, wallowing in his own self-pity and regret, he can’t help but feel like the lead of some angsty teen romance.
And like the lead in an angsty teen romance, he swears… whatever it takes… he will win you back.
You will be his again.
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♡ BNHA – Bakugou, Dabi, Hawks ♡ JJK – Gojo, Naoya, some young type of Sukuna, or Toji ♡ HQ – Tsukishima, Oikawa, Sakusa, Miya twins ♡ BLLK – Reo ♡ AOT – Eren
♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist
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