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happyyyandcrazyyy · 6 months ago

Text

matching bracelets (kaz brekker x reader)

summary: when (y/n) buys kaz a bracelet she does so as a joke, she knows he’ll never actually wear it. imagine her surprise when she sees it dangling around his wrist.

based on the prompt: person A gets person B a friendship bracelet, expecting person B to never wear it, but when it’s given to them person B puts it on and is rarely seen with it off.

warnings: mentions of blood and torture (not explicit, briefly mentioned)

kaz taglist: @the-tpd-bau @ellievickstar @thestudiouswanderer | soc taglist: @ancientbeing10 (if you want to be added or removed from the taglist just dm me!)

a/n: guess who's back after a year of being mia!! i've been working on a lot of fics, but inspiration just hasn't been there, so i'm going slow, i don't like to force myself to write if i don't feel like it. anywaysss, i hope you enjoy this one! it was such a fun ride to write :)

Jesper opens the door with a loud bang, strutting into the Slat with his head held high and a slight jump in his step. He’s whistling good-naturedly, his left hand twirling a pistol and his right hand holding a rumpled piece of paper.

(Y/N)’s right hand— which had immediately reached for the pocket knife in her boot at the tumultuous noise— retreats back to her side. She relaxes, letting her shoulders sag and briefly looking down to make the final correction on a contract Kaz had her look over, left hand holding the pen and swiftly moving over the paper.

Jesper makes his way towards her, still whistling. She follows him from the corner of her eye, a slight smirk taking over her features. He’s in a good mood, the kind of mood he’s only ever in when the Gods are in his favor and he manages to miraculously not gamble away all his money. It’s not something that happens often.

“Did you win some?” she asks, already knowing the answer but enjoying the way the Sharpshooter preens under the attention. Jesper, very much in character and to (Y/N)’s delight, twirls around and does a ridiculous dance before taking a small bow.

“Baby, I won a whole lot.”

She huffs out a laugh, leaning back as she watches him place the pistol in its respective holster before plopping down on the chair by her right side and tossing her a small bag.

(Y/N) catches it smoothly, reflexes as sharp as always.

She doesn’t need to open the sack to know there’s kruge in there; the sound of coins jiggling against each other is a dead giveaway.

Jesper winks, a teasing smile on his lips. He tips his chair back, feet on top of the table, “Because you’re my favorite.”

It’s really because he owes her more kruge than he’ll ever be able to repay, but (Y/N) plays along. She’s never cared much about money, anyways.

“You sure do know how to charm a lady,” she smirks.

“I’m good at charming gents, too.”

“Versatile.”

“You know me.”

(Y/N) smiles, softer around the edges this time, something reserved only for her closest friends. She’s about to being correcting another contact— she has twelve to go through, all because she’d been bored and had decided annoying Kaz would be a great way to spend her time, he obviously hadn’t agreed —when Jesper slides over the piece of paper he’d been holding in his right hand. In the time he’d made his way towards her he’d somehow managed to crumple it completely.

She takes it, half curious, half willing to do anything to procrastinate revising and correcting those stupid documents.

“Brought this for you, too. I’ve got the feeling you’re going to enjoy this much more than the money.”

Her eyebrows furrow with curiosity as she slowly opens up the paper.

Ink contrasts the yellowish hue of the paper. Her own face greets her, drawn by hand, but fairly accurate.

(Y/N) (Y/L/N)

Wanted dead or alive.

1,000 kruge.

She can’t help the snicker that falls from her lips

Jesper is right. This is better, much better.

“Can’t believe it’s only a thousand this time,” she huffs, a small pout on her lips. “I must be losing my touch.”

Jesper snorts at that.

(Because she hasn’t lost her touch, not even a little, and they both know it. Just yesterday she’d managed to get vital information out of a Black Tip member with a single touch and a minimal amount of bloodshed. Three days before that she’d disposed of a rival gang member who’d been speaking too freely and she’d made sure his body would never be found. Two weeks prior to that Kaz had sent her to steal a miniature stature and she’d done it without a hitch, forging an identical copy in less than five days. No, she still very much has it.)

“I might have to go overboard next time,” she muses quietly to herself, “do something that will raise the bounty to at least two thousand five hundred.”

She traces the outline of her name, biting down a smile when Jesper snorts.

“You’re insane,” the Sharpshooter deadpans, the fondness in his tone almost tangible.

(Y/N) smiles wickedly at him, “So they say.”

Marbles is what they’ve nicknamed her around the Barrel. They say she’s lost them all. And it must be true, she must be out of her mind, because having a bounty on your head in Ketterdam is nothing less than a death sentence. It means having the most ruthless assassins coming after you, all looking for a way to make fast money. It’s living with the constant fear of someone sneaking up on you and slicing your throat, of having your food poisoned, of being choked to death in your sleep, of having your closest friends betray you as a means to survive. But to (Y/N), who has been part of the city’s underworld since before being able to formulate words, who has had any sort of ability to feel fear beaten out of her, this is nothing but one of the most amazing sources of entertainment. It keeps her on her toes, brings an adrenaline rush that does not compare to anything else. She must be crazy because any sane person would be paralyzed in fear, running for their lives, and yet all she can feel is the comforting thrill of being in mortal danger. (And, yes, it is comforting. She was raised to be a weapon, trained to withstand any form of torture; having Death peering over her shoulder is something she’s comfortable with, something she’s used to, something that soothes her). Besides, even if she wasn’t deadly confident in her own abilities (which she very much is), and even if she was able to feel terror overtaking her limbs (which she doesn’t think she’ll ever feel again), the title she holds would be enough to keep her relatively safe; she is Kaz’s right hand, and no one dares touch something that belongs to Dirtyhands.

(Y/N) stares at the poster for a little while longer— they got her nose wrong, made it too pointy —before smirking to herself. She knows how this will all go down, has seen it played out a few dozen times before (this is a regular occurrence, after all, a bounty is placed on her head every couple of months, whenever she loses her temper and murders someone who was deemed untouchable, or steals something much too valuable for her blood-stained hands). So, yes, she knows how this will go; the bounty will stay up for a couple of weeks, long enough for a few to dare try to kill her, and then it’ll be removed by whoever placed it once they realize it’s futile, once they see how everyone who even dares breathe too close to her winds up dead. She hopes the assassination attempts are entertaining, she hopes whoever dares come after her head gives her a good fight, if only to keep things interesting. It’s been a while since she’s had some unrestrained fun.

(Kaz keeps her on a tight rein, knows better than to let her run around freely. To say things can get out of hand when she’s left to her own devices would be an understatement.)

“Again?”

The voice comes from behind her, and (Y/N) doesn’t need to turn around to know who it is, she heard his steps since before he even walked into the room. (It’s easy to know when it’s Kaz, he subconsciously places more weight on his left leg to keep the right one from aching, it makes his footsteps distinctive.) Still, she angles her head to meet his eyes. He’s leaning over her chair, cold eyes watching the bounty poster with disdain.

He’s never said it but (Y/N) knows that he doesn’t appreciate her life being imperiled. She is, in a way, an extension of him, and therefore any threats to her he sees as direct threats to him. Dirtyhands doesn’t take it well to being threatened.

“It’s okay, boss,” Jesper calls out. He’s still tipping his chair back, now playing with his guns. (Y/N) is kind of tempted to lean forward and kick one of the chair’s wooden legs, just to watch him struggle, possibly even fall. But Jesper’s known her long enough to realize when she’s on the verge of becoming a nuisance because his eyes narrow playfully and he lets the chair’s weight drop forward, “I wouldn’t worry too much.”

From the corner of her eye, (Y/N) can see the way Kaz’s face morphs. It’s almost indistinguishable, but she notices it. She thinks she would be able to spot the most minimal change in Kaz, she’s known him long enough for that. (Y/N) watches in amusement as he opens his mouth, no doubt to argue that he isn’t worrying at all, because Gods forbid he ever outwardly cared about anyone, but Jesper beats him to the punch and keeps going, “Heard some of Pekka’s Lions talking ‘bout how they’re not even going to try to come after her this time.”

“How boring,” she mutters to herself in disappointment, reaching for her glass of whisky. She’d meant for the comment to go unheard but Jesper’s snicker tells her that she wasn’t successful.

She takes a chug as Jesper points an accusatory finger at her and smirks, “That’s all on you, Marbles.”

At her bewildered look, he elaborates, “Two of them said something about not wanting to meet the same fate as the Razorgull guy from a couple of months ago—” (Y/N) smirks at that. The guy had deserved it. He hadn’t just tried to kill her, but also grope her. Murder she could understand, respect even, but touching someone else without their consent? No, she drew the line there. She’d had him swallow his own testicles; it’d seemed fitting enough. “—and the other one said that even if you hadn’t done that, he wouldn’t come close, not with you being Kaz’s right hand,” Jesper pauses for a second, a smug smile appearing on his lips, “and his best friend.”

Their reaction is instantaneous; Kaz goes rigid at the words and a smirk takes over (Y/N)’s features.

Oh, if the night didn’t just suddenly get better.

She glances up at her best friend, only to find him already glaring daggers at Jesper, who shrugs helplessly and innocently says, “Just telling it like I heard it, boss.” The flicker of amusement in his eyes reveals that he’s very much aware of just how much ammunition he’s provided (Y/N) with.

(Y/N)’s smirk becomes wider and gains a teasing edge when Kaz looks down to meet her eyes. His eyes harden, explicitly telling her to not utter a single word. Sadly for him, she has never been one to follow the rules, and Kaz must notice she’s not about to obey because his face morphs slightly, just enough to show the most minimum amount of discomfort. He cringes just the tiniest bit, bracing himself.

He knows her too well.

“You hear that?” she asks him, tone light and filled with amusement, “We’re best friends!”

“We are not,” Kaz tenses his jaw as he replies. He backs away from her, as if creating physical space between them will somehow stop the words from leaving her mouth and making their way towards him. As if distance could make her less of an bother.

(Y/N) fake gasps, clutching the skin over her heart in the most dramatic manner, “You wound me deeply, Kazzy.”

Jesper snorts, coughing to try to drown the laughter. She might be the only one who doesn’t get a knife to the jugular when calling him that.

Kaz’s eyes snap toward the Sharpshooter and the look must be deadly because Jesper quiets down immediately and tries his best to evade the boss’s glare. Kaz’s gaze then shifts towards (Y/N) and she perks up at the way his eyes harden even further in annoyance. He’s told her a million times to drop that ‘ridiculously stupid’ nickname and she’s decided she never will, not when it drives him to this point of exasperation.

(She’s a thrill chaser, you see. That’s what happens when you’ve seen just about everything and lived twice as much; few things get your heart pumping. And getting on Kaz’s nerves? That’s always exciting. (Y/N) never knows what to expect of him. The Bastard of the Barrel is unpredictable in a way that’s just delightful.)

“If you call me that one more time—”

“What are you gonna do? You can’t possibly try to hurt me. Best friends don’t do that to each other,” she mocks.

His eyebrow twitches, her grin stretches.

Oh, she’s going to have a field day with this one.

It’s obvious that Kaz knows he’s not winning this discussion because he walks forward, snatches the revised contracts and makes his way back to where he came from.

“Get those done before tomorrow afternoon.”

Boring. She was expecting more banter.

(Y/N) turns around to watch him leave, unable to stop herself from throwing a sarcastic, “Sure thing, bestie.” She does her best to sweeten the last word in a way that she knows will infuriate Kaz.

He freezes.

Bingo.

Even from afar, (Y/N) can see the way he tightens the grip on his cane. She’s thoroughly disappointed when he doesn’t throw a dagger her way. That would’ve been exciting. He takes another route, one she should’ve seen coming.

“I’ve got seven more files that need to be corrected. Collect them when you’re done with those.”

The corner of her lips tugs upwards slightly. There’s something thrilling about playing this game with Kaz, of seeing how much one of them can push before the other yields. He’s skilled and she enjoys the competition.

She ignores his order, “Goodnight, Kazzy.”

He slams the door on his way out, the only visible sign that she managed to get on his nerves. That’s mildly entertaining. Causing even the slightest slip of Kaz’s control over his temper is a success in her books.

“You’re out of your mind,” Jesper informs her.

She raises her glass of whisky at him and winks.

And that’s how it begins, as a joke. (Y/N) refers to Kaz as her best friend on every given chance. His reactions never disappoint.

There’s a lot of death threats;

(“Don’t mind him, bestie here is always grumpy.”

Clenched jaw, an exasperated sigh. “I will murder you.”

“Don’t tempt me with a good time, Kazzy.”

There’s a knife thrown her way. (Y/N) catches it with ease, whistling good-naturedly. She smirks when she catches the look of annoyance in Kaz’s face.)

and a lot of not so kind words thrown her way.

(“I get special best friend privileges, right?”

“You get tolerated,” Kaz mutters, “barely.”

“That might be the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me. Now tell me you love me.”

There’s that Brekker glare, one that would send anyone to an early grave. (Y/N) just smiles sweetly.

“Get out.”

“Whatever makes you happy, best friend.”

She cackles as she closes the door behind her, the curses Kaz is sending her way loud enough for her to hear.)

All in all, (Y/N) is as happy as can be. Having the time of her life, really. It’s not often that she finds something that makes Kaz fume. He plays the game too, of course. He has her going over financial documents and legal contracts on her free time, knowing just how much she hates the bureaucracy, and he gives her the household chores she despises the most. Still, (Y/N) doesn’t complain. She does everything with a smug smile on her face. The annoyance that flashes through Kaz’s face makes it all worth it.

The bracelet isn’t something she plans for, it really isn’t, but the Saints place the opportunity right in front of her and who is she but a mere mortal that must obey the signs evidently laid by otherworldly deities (or whatever bullshit those religious fanatics preach).

(Y/N) inspects the wristlets in her hand. They’re black and rough, made of broken-down nets that fishermen dispose of near the pier when the material has worn down beyond repair and is no longer useful. The little girl who had sold it to her couldn’t have been older than seven, and yet the design was more than decent. (Y/N) had offered three kruge for it, much more than it was worth. The child had looked delighted, had thanked her profusely as she’d placed the coins inside her worn-down shoes.

Oh, (Y/N) cannot wait to see Kaz’s face.

“What’s that?” Jesper asks as she meets up with him, eying the bracelets with a gleam of interest. He twirls his guns absentmindedly, missing the way some of the fishermen glance at him with distrust.

“Oh, you know, just some matching bracelets for me and my best friend.”

Jesper snickers, shaking his head and proceeding to let out a low whistle.

“This might be his breaking point.”

“Wouldn’t that be delightful.”

“You’re insane, Marbles.”

She gives him a wicked smile accompanied by a wink. She’s about to retort when she catches sight of a shadow on the corner of her eye. She recognizes it immediately as her target. Shopping, as fun as it had been, wasn’t the reason she and Jesper were waiting by the pier. They’ve got orders. She has people to torture and interrogate and dispose of— preferably in a quiet manner —and Jesper is Kaz’s way of making sure she’s got her back covered. (Not that she needs backup, but whatever, she has tried arguing with Kaz about it and it’s the one thing he won’t relent on, the one matter she’s accepted she won't ever win. Kaz doesn't play when it comes to her safety.).

“If you’re kind enough to hold these for me,” she places the bracelets on Jesper’s unoccupied hand, “I’ll be back before you know it.”

They make it back to the Slat before sunrise. (Y/N) had been quick and efficient, as she always was, and Jesper had been a quiet and solid shadow, as he always was.

“I assume it all went according to plan,” the Bastard asks when he hears their steps coming into his office. It’s late, or rather extremely early in the morning, and yet (Y/N) isn’t surprised by Kaz’s presence. He rarely sleeps.

“It went without a hitch, boss,” Jesper responds, resting against the doorframe.

(Y/N) hesitates for a split second, her memory providing a brief flashback to the interrogation she’d done, to three little words the man had let slip out: they’re coming for you.

A warning or maybe a promise.

Thrilling, either way. It wasn’t often that she was verbally threatened.

At the time, she’d dismissed the words, too filled with bloodlust to pay them any mind, but now, with a clear mind and a steady heartbeat, she suddenly remembers her face plastered on paper all over Ketterdam and wonders if the words might be related to the bounty on her head.

Oh, she hopes so. That would prove to be fun.

They’re coming for you. Good. Let them try.

She nods her head in agreement with Jesper’s words. Kaz nods in approval and then jerks his chin Jesper’s way, a clear sign of dismissal. The Sharpshooter never walks into Kaz’s office after missions like this. He’s an escort, a babysitter of sorts, merely Kaz’s way of making sure she heads his way instead of making a beeline for her bed.

(Y/N) sticks her tongue out at him and Jesper blows her a kiss in response.

Lucky bastard. It’s always her that has to stay up to report. And she hates to admit it, but she’s tired, she can feel the exhaustion begin to creep on her bones and settle in. She has been up for more than thirty-seven hours at this point, and she can feel it catching up to her. Still, she knows that Kaz prefers to hear details when the information is fresh on her mind, when she can provide as much detail as possible, so she pushes through for him. She just has to wait a little while longer before crawling into her bed and passing out for the next twelve hours.

“Marbles comes bearing gifts by the way,” is the last thing the Sharpshooters says before exiting.

A smirk takes over her features, sleep, exhaustion and the new information briefly forgotten.

Kaz is going to hate it.

Lovely.

Kaz seems to sense, probably by the wicked amusement on her face, that whatever it is it’s not something he’s going to enjoy. His face twists into a scowl.

“Out with it, then.”

She pulls out the dark bracelet from her pocket as she walks towards Kaz, dangling it in front of his face when she’s close enough.

Jesper had handed them back on the way home, tossing them over as soon as she’d wiped the blood off her hands. He hadn’t said a word, but (Y/N) knew that the action had meant to snap her out of the weird haze that clouded her mind after every mission, where adrenaline still coursed through her body and all she could think about was bloodshed, fingers itching to kill and maim and fight.

(It was a thing, the haze. When taking lives there was nothing but calmness and bloodthirst, the restlessness that always lingered beneath her skin subsiding as soon as a weapon was placed in her hand and orders were given. And as soon as the mission was done, as soon as the target was neutralized and she’d efficiently fulfilled her orders, fogginess followed. Her mind became clouded, as if somewhat trapped in a loop of violence, every nerve on edge and ready for any threat to emerge.

She was brought up as a killing machine, a child soldier, the best out of all the assassins produced by the Silent Blades, her father’s pride. She was ruthless, wretched, or at least those had been the words used to describe her when she’d been a child. She supposed the dissociative state she slipped into was normal when considering her upbringing, some sort of psychological shield that kept her from going insane.

She never spoke about it, but the Crows somehow knew. They often eased her out of it, knowing full well that when trapped in that state she had not an ounce of thought and only muscle memory to rely on, which made her infinitely more lethal.)

Jesper’s actions had worked like a charm. With something else to do with her hands, the fogginess had ruptured. She’d absentmindedly tied one of the bracelets on her own wrist, fingers playing with the edges of the other.

It’s that bracelet, the one on her arm, that Kaz glances at now. It’s brief, but for a split second the scowl etched on his face softens and something that she can’t quite catch passes through his eyes. It’s gone before (Y/N) can even begin to process it.

“Best friends have to have matching bracelets, don’t they?” And if she wonders about it later, she’ll blame it on the exhaustion, but the words come out softer than she intends them to. A jest, but not any less truthful.

Kaz’s face morphs and she gets a fleeting glimpse at that flicker in his eyes again. His scowl melts into something a tad bit gentler, the look contrasted by the aggressiveness with which he snatches the bracelet from her hand, “You’re the most annoying person I’ve ever met.” He means that and his tone has enough bite to make her cackle.

Amusing.

Placing her hands on her back pockets and shrugging, she responds, “That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

Kaz snorts, “Go take a bath.” He dismisses her, turning around and making his way to his desk, “Reports can wait until you don’t look half dead.”

That’s unexpected.

(Y/N) raises her eyebrows, “You’re being nice.” It isn’t often that Kaz forgoes a report after a mission. He might’ve been more touched by the gift than he’s letting on.

“It’s for my own sake,” he retorts, not turning around, “you just stink and it’s making me nauseous.”

She does have a lingering smell of blood and sea water.

“Everything in this damned place stinks,” she responds. I know you’re lying, she’s saying, I know you’re being kind.

“Get out.”

“Sir, yes, sir,” (Y/N) mocks, walking out of his office.

She sleeps a full day after that, everyone knowing better than to bother her unless they want to lose to their head, and when she reports to Kaz the next morning the three words she’d heard from the man slip her mind. (Y/N) doesn’t remember them until a few weeks later when she’s tied to the ceiling by her wrists, face bleeding.

Now, she must admit, she’s impressed. No one had ever tried kidnapping before. There’d been more attempts on her life than she could even count; stabs resulting in blood being shed, never one drop of hers, poison that she had either swallowed down like a champ or identified before a single lick of it touched her tongue, because being raised an assassin meant she’d been trained in the art of toxins and she’d built up tolerance to pretty much every substance in existence, and that one time they’d tried to shot at her, which only resulted in (Y/N) stealing Jesper’s gun and placing a bullet right between the perpetrator’s eyebrows. All in good fun. Kidnapping was new, but only because those who had attempted on her life had never tried joining forces, all of them wishing to keep the financial reward for themselves.

Torturing, that was new, too.

She could endure, of course she could, she’d been trained for this. That did not mean she’d missed it.

The poster had stated she was wanted dead or alive and it was clear that the man in front of her wanted to take his time. It was personal, she could tell by the brunt of his hits and the delicate precision of his cuts. Had she been anyone else, she would’ve been begging for it to stop, but (Y/N) was a Silent Blade, even if she’d left the organization and that life behind, and she would never break.

The only reason she was in this situation was because the assailants had gotten the upper hand. They’d used one of (Y/N)’s street urchins— a little girl with piggy tails and two missing teeth, one of the ones who gathered information for (Y/N) and traded it for food and shelter —as leverage. And time had apparently made her soft because she’d hesitated. The brief second of doubt had been everything they’d needed.

Them subduing her didn’t mean she’d gone down without a fight. There’d been five of them in the beginning. Only three remained. She’d plucked one guy’s eye out, going deep enough to sever the optic nerve and cause brain damage, and she’d ripped the other’s ear with her teeth before slitting his throat. She’d managed to stab one of the three men remaining with a dagger before being injected with some unknown serum. It hadn’t knocked her out, not the way it was supposed to if the incredulous look on her kidnapper’s face was any indication, but it had drugged her enough to allow them to overpower her.

And now here she was, slowly bleeding out.

“I intent on handing your corpse to them and claiming the reward.” He’s been quiet for so long that (Y/N) had almost forgotten his presence. She doesn’t raise her head, only looks up. It’s hard to do so when her right eye is swollen shut. “But they never specified the conditions it had to be in.”

The man has his back towards her, fingers running through a box of tools. He’s used almost all of them on her by this point. Amateur. A skilled torturer knows to go slow, to drag it out, to choose a weapon and stick to it until the person is weeping and screaming.

“It was my brother that you killed.”

That sparks her interest, a smirk taking over her bloodied lips. She looks at him, dead in the eye.

“Which one?” she taunts.

The sound of her voice, still strong despite the blood loss, startles him. He freezes for a split second, hand over a wooden baseball bat.

“What?”

She snickers, blood dripping into the floor. “I’ve killed a lot of men, darling.” The way he seethes, fury filling his features, amuses her. “So which one was your brother?”

“You had him swallow his own testicles.”

“Oh, him,” she nods her head in appreciation. “Can’t say I regret it.”

Now he’s fuming, hand shaking so badly he almost loses the grip on the bat. If (Y/N) looks close enough she can see the resemblance. Same brown hair, same nose, same crazy look in their eyes.

“I’ll make you regret it.”

“You can certainly try,” she concedes mockingly. Because, honestly, there’s nothing he can do to her that she hasn’t already withstood.

There’s a raging roar and then a burst of pain. A hit to her abdomen, which no doubt bruised a rib, and then two to her back. But it’s okay, she thinks to herself as she wheezes and coughs, trying to regain air in her lungs, she knows how to play this game and how to win it. Keep him talking, keep him angry, let him think he has the upper hand, keep him from noticing how she’s preparing to break free.

“I wonder…” he murmurs, bat dragging behind him. “You’re not particularly remarkable.” She scoffs as he begins circling her, a tactic supposed to drive the prisoner into panic at the lack of vision of their assailant. Her heart doesn’t stutter. She’s trained to identify people and objects by sound not sight. She knows precisely where he is, even if she can’t see him. “So, what makes you interesting enough for the Bastard to keep so close?”

She grins, feral and with bloodstained teeth.

“Why don’t you come closer and I’ll show you?”

His face does not change but his step falters. “You cannot believe me stupid enough to fall for that.”

“You were stupid enough to tie my wrists with handcuffs,” is all she replies before dislocating her own thumbs and releasing herself from the shackles.

She hits the floor hard, body swaying for a second. Her hands are numb, nerve endings frayed. It hits her, now that she has to keep herself outfight, just how much blood she’s lost. The edges of her vision blur.

There’s a cut on her thigh, it bleeds heavily. Her back is all flayed skin. Breathing is hard.

It doesn’t matter. She only needs four fingers and half a mind to hold and use a dagger. She shakes the dizziness off.

He comes at her, but she’s expecting that. Sidestepping him is easy, kicking him in the back as he passes by even more so.

“You’re not much without your friends and a syringe full of drugs, are you?” she stumbles a little as she taunts him. Time is not on her side, she knows this. He’s cut deep in her arms and legs, no major artery touched, but with precision to give her a slow and prolonged death. She’s been steadily bleeding for hours.

(Y/N) has to end this. Soon.

He comes for her again, and she dodges, punching him right in the gut. He feigns left and she moves away, noticing too late the fist that impacts with the right side of her face. Despite the pain, she manages to stomp his toes and slam her knee against his balls.

That does it.

A high whimper leaves his mouth and as he struggles for air, she backs up. Keeping her eyes on him, her right arm reaches back to the toolbox. She knows what she’s grasped as soon as her fingers graze it.

“Say hi to your brother for me.”

The scalpel lodges itself right on his carotid artery.

“Nice,” she mumbles in delirium as she hears him choke to death. It’d been a majestic throw.

The adrenaline is gone in a second. (Y/N) stumbles backwards, barely aware of all the tools scattering around in the floor. She lets herself rest against the wall, slowly sitting down on the floor.

She’s going to die.

It doesn’t matter that she’s managed to get rid of that poor excuse of a man. She’s too injured. She knows.

(Y/N) isn’t scared. She’s tangled with Death for a long time, and as cold begins to creep in and the edges of her vision blacken, it feels like welcoming an old friend. It feels like getting what she has always had coming for her.

The tips of her fingers begin to tingle, her body’s desperate effort at keeping her heart pumping. Her ears are ringing, hard enough that when shouts begin all that she can hear are muffled sounds.

Then someone’s touching her face. She greets the warmth.

“Fuck,” she hears as she tumbles forward, her forehead landing on a collarbone. Jesper grasps the back of her head, fingers tangling in her hair. At least, she thinks it’s him. Her brain feels mushy, but her nose has never failed her, and it smells like gunpowder and mint.

She’s laid down on the ground gently, probably to inspect her injuries before moving her.

“You’re going to be okay,” the Sharpshooter reassures her, but his voice is trembling. He’s scared. She must look worse than she feels, and she feels like she’s been attacked by a group of Heartrenders.

She wants to speak, to tell him it’s okay, but opening her mouth feels like an impossible task.

“Save your energy.” That’s Kaz. His voice is steady, but she can feel the underlying tension, the worry in his words. “You are not dying tonight.” And he says it with so much conviction, like he would hold her soul with his own hands to keep it anchored to her body, like he would keep her heart beating with pure willpower.

Her eyes look for him, but she catches sight of something else entirely.

“You’re wearing it.”

She must make no sense, words slurred, but Kaz understands. His whispered words are the last thing she hears before slipping out of consciousness.

“How couldn’t I?”

Then there’s nothing. She loses track of time. She comes back to her body from time to time, able to hear words but incapable of pinpointing the speaker. She’s floating, but there’s pain and aching.

“…too much blood, I don’t know…”

“…keep her alive.”

“I am trying!”

“Don’t try, do it.”

“…punctured lung, broken ribs…”

“…don’t know how she’s still alive.”

When she comes to the first thing that she feels is blinding pain. Everything hurts. Her muscles complain as she sits up. She clenches her jaw to keep the tears at bay. The worst is already over, she will not cry.

“Don’t move,” (Y/N) freezes at the command, her head snapping towards the voice. “Nina stitched you back together, I doubt she would be very happy to see all her hard work ruined.”

She gently eases herself back on the bed, fingertips running over her bandaged stomach. She can feel the edges of the stitches poking through it. It must’ve been bad, then, if she required stitches to keep the wound together. Usually, she’s a fast healer, a result of all the training she’d gone through.

“How long?” Her voice is raspy after not being used. Her throat hurts, which might be related to the way she was choked to the verge of unconsciousness several times while held hostage.

“Four nights.”

Bad then.

(Y/N) can feel Kaz’s eyes on her, assessing. She meets his stare, and it’s when she’s looking at him that a vague memory comes back.

Her eyes drift down to his wrist.

The twin bracelet to her own, the one she keeps tightly wrapped around her wrist, as if part of her own skin, greets her.

“You are wearing it.”

Kaz frowns in confusion, until he follows her line of sight. He looks away, hand clenching and unclenching over the head of his cane.

“Even after almost dying you’re still insufferable,” he responds.

But when he looks back at her, (Y/N) can see everything in his eyes.

How could I not, he’d said, and he’d meant it. If friendship was something that could bloom in a wretched place like Ketterdam, Kaz was her best friend and she was his, even if they’d never discussed it, even if they would never admit it. You’re the steady order to my unrelenting chaos, she thought to herself, someone I would follow to the end of the world.

He nods, as if reading her mind and agreeing with her.

“Rest.” That’s an order, one she has no intention of disobeying.

“Sure thing,” she responds as Kaz makes his way towards the door, “bestie.”

(Y/N) can feel the amusement in his words, “Absolutely insufferable.”

She smirks, toying with the ends of the bracelet’s strings.

(Y/N) never takes it off. Neither does Kaz.

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chailovesu · 1 year ago

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a list of everything ive manifested and what i want to manifest

having alot of friends + also having at least one best friend (in short never being lonely)

people always approaching me first

not living with desired people

instant appearance changes

instant weather changes

very very pretty almond doe eyes and long eyelashes

a puppy

oddly specific tiktoks to pop on my fyp

being "popular" in school

having big boobs and a big butt naturally

being a semi big submaker

my face shape (younger me listened to round shape face subliminals but i had a thin one before)

alot of mcdonalds

bigger prettier lips

alot of sps coming back because i believed in the saying "they always come back"

revising something completely and there being no evidence of it ever happening

long breaks off of school (i feel like since i was listening to ALOT of "cancel school" subliminals b4 the corona break and i've had so many breaks off of school)

soft pretty 3a/3b hair

alotttt of compliments

being seen as very attractive in my own eyes and other ppls

being alot of ppls comfort person everyone tells me they enjoy my company

being right abt random things

manifested alot of things for my old friend

constantly passing classes knowing damn well i didn't do any work 😭 went from a 34 to a 92 doing absolutely nothing

all my teachers liking me enough to bump my grades to passing even if i did nothing in their classes

strangers always being nice to me all the time

people being obsessed with me (i don't recommend manifesting this 😭)

being lucky in games

immediate weight loss

having 300+ absences when the county's limit was 10 a semester and never getting in trouble for it

moving out of houses

being spoiled by people irl and online simply for being attractive

ppl texting me immediately after i think abt them

being able to manifest fast in general

having a high pitched cute voice

+ other tiny things

what im current manifesting

being extremely rich + living in a mansion

knowing how to speak Spanish, Korean, and French

revising any trauma I've experienced

desired baby pictures and childhood memories

having no anxiety and never overthinking

being everyones type + being like kokomi teruhashi

revising that i have close childhood friends

butt length hair

having no body hair

having a vivid imagination

4.0 gpa + perfect attendance + being naturally smart + being good at math

hazel eyes with mostly green

a cat and a pink bird and a bunny + my current dogs but they're all going to be babies and get along well (also manifesting that ik how to manage all of them)

being shorter

desired parents + only one sibling

a lot of rich love interests

desired body and face

old friends coming back

being a huge submaker like roy

bringing certain family members back to life

im manifesting this by affirming and listening to subliminals because thats what i prefer

#law of assumption #loa #loa blog #loassumption #void state

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azzo0 · 8 months ago

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Exam Season

Summary: Katsuki comforts you when you feel frustrated revising for exams.

Pairing: Bakugo x gn!reader

Contains: a wee bit of crying with fluff

wc: 1.1k

Katsuki furrowed his eyebrows at you, sitting in the common room as everyone went about their after-school studies, given the third-year final exams were fast approaching. He stared at you, noticing the dark circles under your eyes as you bit the inside of your cheek, nose buried deep in a textbook.

You'd been a little distant lately, and it pissed Katsuki off. You arrived early to class to get some studying done before Katsuki could greet you over breakfast and left the classroom first so you could get to the dorms and revise. Whenever the bakusquad invited you to hang out, you shot them down with the excuse, 'I have a lot of revision to do.'

He could see the signs of exhaustion creeping all over you. You were yawning and rubbing your eyes again. His eyebrow twitched in annoyance when he saw you reach for the freshly made cup of coffee, your eyes glued to the textbook, unaware everyone had begun packing up their books to hit the bed. He waited for everyone to leave, pretending to flip a page or two when his attention was really on you.

The common room was soon deserted, with only you and Bakugo being the ones behind. He stood up and walked over to you, "Oi."

You looked up from the textbook to see your boyfriend looking down at you sternly, his arms crossed and legs apart in a dad stance, "It's time for bed."

"I'll go after I finish this section," You replied, "It's a little tricky and-"

"You've been studying the whole fuckin' day with no breaks, Y/n." Bakugo reasoned, "You'll get tired. C'mon, let's go."

"'Suki, please," you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose, "I don't have it in me to argue with you right now, so please let me be."

Bakugo opened his mouth to shoot a reply, closing it instead when he saw the gloomy look on your face as you stared at the textbook again. He heard your stomach rumble and gave you one last glance before leaving.

Truth be told, you felt bad for ignoring him for the past couple of days, but you had not realised it while studying for the exams. You scrubbed your face and let out a long exhale, bringing your knees to your chest. Your stomach rumbled again, reminding you it needed to be fed. Ignoring your pleading tummy, you rummaged through your bag and pulled out a notebook and a pen to complete an exercise, forcing yourself to stay awake. The coffee seemed to be doing the opposite of keeping you open-eyed.

You gritted your teeth in irritation when you got a question wrong. You had watched online lectures for this very topic over and over again, and yet you still managed to mess it up. Frustrated, you tossed the pencil to the other side of the room, glaring down at the paper with your eyes blurring and stinging.

Katsuki happened to walk into the room just then, a plate with a sandwich in hand. He saw you staring at your notebook with glossy eyes. He was beside you in an instant, setting the plate on the coffee table and putting his hands on your shoulders, "Hey, hey, what's wrong?"

You shook your head and wiped your eyes. Katsuki took your wrists, putting them down. He cradled your face ever so gently, making you look at him. He wiped away the tears with his thumb and kissed your closed eyelids. He brought your head to his chest and slowly moved his hand up and down your back while pressing sweet kisses into your hair.

"You wanna talk about it?" He asked after a few minutes of silence, patiently waiting for your response.

"I just-" you muffled into his shirt, "I feel tired of not being able to achieve the grades I work so hard for. It's frustrating getting all these papers back to see all that work was for nothing. I want to do better on these exams, Katsuki. I'm trying my best, but I'm so scared I'll mess up."

You pulled away from his shirt, rubbing your eyes, "And this stupid chapter is so annoying I can't understand it no matter how many videos I watch on YouTube."

"That's it?" Bakugo said once you were done, "That's what you're worried about?"

"Easy for you to say when you're on top of the class," You glared through wet lashes, "some of us have to work thrice as hard and still can't make it to the top."

"I didn't mean it that way, Y/n," He said with apologetic eyes, taking your hands. He kissed the inside of your wrist, moving up your arm and onto your cheek, getting you to giggle when his eyelashes tickled your skin. He pulled back with a grin, cupping your cheek.

"Don't compare yourself to me or others. Got that? You're you, and that's okay. Besides, It's not like the world will end if you don't get an A." He tilted your chin towards him when you looked down sullenly, "Or will it?"

"It won't." You mumbled.

"Damn right. It's just a stupid piece of paper. It isn't going to define you or your life." He finished with a kiss on your forehead, "You got that?"

"Mhm."

"Can't hear ya, sweets."

"Yes, sir."

Katsuki pinched your cheeks and squished them together, planting a kiss on your lips. Satisfied with your goofy smile, he gave you the sandwich, "Eat up."

Your heart stirred when you took the sandwich from him. Why was he so sweet?

Katsuki pulled your textbook to himself to see which unit you were working on, eyes skimming over your notes thoughtfully, "You could have come to me if you needed help with this, you know?"

"You're busy preparing too, 'Suki."

"I know, but I could've still helped you out with it." He said, closing the textbook, "No more studying for now. After you finish that sandwich, I'm taking your ass straight to bed. If you rest well, yer going to be able to grasp the concepts better."

"Okay," you smiled, munching on the sandwich.

"There's still three weeks till the exams, so we're goin' out tomorrow to freshen up that cute little head of yours," he said, poking a finger on your forhead, "No thinkin' about school or exams or books. Just a day out with you and me. After that, I'm helping you study, alright?"

"Sounds nice," you hummed.

He huffed and silently watched you eat. Seeing you smile again with bright eyes as you rocked back and forth while eating made him feel content. As soon you were done eating, he grabbed you by the wrist and hoisted you up, throwing you over his shoulder without a warning.

"Katsuki!" You squealed.

"Hup, hup, time for bed."

A/N: It's exam season, and I haven't been feeling my best. This is for everyone studying for exams and tests. Don't forget to take breaks and get plenty of sleep. Good luck :)

#katsuki bakugo #bakugo #bakugo fluff #bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #mha x reader #mha fluff #azzo writes

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ultrasharpy12345stuff · 10 months ago

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SUCCESS STORY (manifesting)

OMFG you guys! I did it! I made it to my desired reality! I'm living my desired life!

All I did was decide it's done. More specifically, I just did Angel's fulfillment challenge (which you don't have to do). Everyday I just decided to live like I was in my desired reality right now as often as I could and whenever I wanted to.

If I vented, I vented. If I ranted I ranted. If I sabotaged my manifestation I just decided it wouldn't matter and that nothing would ruin my manifestation and everything was ok and fine.

And this is totally optional but I affirmed sometimes. I just did to remind myself that it was done.

My affirmations were:

-I'm living my desired life

-Nothing can ruin my manifestation

-I'm in my desired reality

-I'm in my desired reality in my penthouse in Tokyo

-I have all my desires

-The 3D conforms instantly

And it worked! And now I'm happy! I woke up today IN my penthouse in Tokyo! The view of the city is amazing. I checked my bank account and it turns out I'm super rich! Like I literally have BILLIONS of dollars. And it's like I always get millions of dollars out of nowhere! So it's like I get paid just to exist!

Also life in this reality is soooooooo different than on Earth. Like the people in the city are nice... but they aren't just humans beings. I'm seeing Japanese monsters walking around wearing uggs! I can also see Godzilla walking around in a place in the city it's so cool! (don't worry, they made a place in the city specifically for her)

I can also enter the void anytime I fall asleep. Like everytime I go to sleep I wake up IN the void state completely aware. I know this because I just decided I would go to sleep and I did! (one of the things I also manifested, to fall asleep instantly)

And guess what? I also revised my ENTIRE life. Like all the shitty, terrible things that happened to me and all the awful things I've done are GONE! They never happened. All the arguments I had with people on Youtube are gone, they never happened. I never met those people. All the people who I argued with on Discord, well I never argued with them. All the problems with my family are gone.

I also have new memories of me being in Highschool. It went great! I made some friends, they never got angry at me, I got to play my videogames, and I never had to deal with any kind of stress. And I also have my college degree even though I never went to college.

Also let me show you what I look like:

This body:

This is my hairstyle (except it's white colored):

This is my face (trigger warning: AI art, also dw I'm black):

And I'm like popular on Twitter. I'm as popular as @rariatoo. People follow my art and they love drawing my OCs and characters, it's so much fun. Plus I have a patreon and a redbubble. I get to make my OCs as plushies and stickers and ship them off.

And the best part is that there's no wars! No covid, no genocide in the Congo or Palestine, no racism, no problems. And there never will be, everything is fine! Its literally a Utopia.

Summary of what I manifested:

-Desired life & reality

-Freezing Time

-Revising entire life

-Different family (same soul but different looks (slightly) and better personality)

-Entering the void whenever I fall asleep and at will

-A butler friend who I can summon and make disappear at will (he's super nice and never have any problems, perfect personality, kinda shy, and we just had some woopie 🥵🤪)

-Magic (I can do LOTS of crazy stuff)

-Being able to shift realities at will

-Visiting my family through a magic door (my family lives in what I call, "Reality # 3 and I can visit them anytime I want)

-Spawning groceries and food whenever I want (I still go out, dw)

-Friends on discord and some IRL

-Money money monayyyyyyyyyyy

-Perfect health and mental health, no problems with my body

-Never getting yelled at ever again or abused/nobody gets abused/abuse doesn't exist. Yellers don't exist.

& a lot of other personal things

You guys got this! You can get your dream life! Go for it! *I didn't get my dream life yet, that's why the title reads:

"SUCCESS STORY (𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴)" When you put "manifesting in the title it means you haven't gotten your desires yet but you're doing it to help you live in the end. SO please don't be angry or offended.*

#void state #law of assumption #loa #manifestation #law of attraction #void #manifest #neville goddard #void success #success story #manifesting #affirm and persist #48HC #3dolc x roe

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crushmeeren · 11 months ago

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♡ Master List Link

➳ Warnings; Mentions of injuries, Cursing, Kissing, Marijuana Use, Vaginal Sex, Dirty Talk, Squirting, Fem Reader

➳ Or: You just want to spend one more easy night with Dabi before the entirety of Japan goes to hell.

Note; this is a completely re-edited, revised, reworked version of my previous Dabi/Reader — I deleted the previous one.

♡ Touya / Fem Reader

It’s almost funny, you think, as you lean against the wall of the Leagues newest hideout. The reason you were convinced to join the A team in the first place—to go a long with Shigaraki’s convoluted plans.

It wasn’t Stain. Hell, it wasn’t even Shigaraki himself. It sure as fuck wasn’t All for One.

No, it was the scarred, absolutely deranged, blue eyed psycho that has daddy issues. The man who creates flames that burn over 2500 degrees celsius at their hottest, higher than Endeavors. The bastard.

To be fair, you didn’t know he had daddy issues when you saw him on TV for the first time. Yet, you saw the emotion in his eyes. Rage.

It flared, crackling brightly—hotter than the flames he produces himself.

It forced something to melt and seep into your bones, making your skin feel too tight, itchy, in an all too familiar way. You recognized another emotion on his face, one you were well acquainted with. Revenge.

You stopped at nothing to seek him out after that. Inevitably, you found him.

Now here you are, watching Dabi make, what equates to, a self-introduction video.  You’ve heard the story from him multiple times, you’ve seen him make the video over and over again. He’s shared his past and you’ve shared yours. You know people say Dabi may not feel much, hell even he says that. They say he’s heartless, cold, insane.

And—he is, but he’s also much more than that to you.

He’s kind to you, in his own twisted way, but he loves you, as much as he’s able to.

Which compared to “normal people” is actually quite a lot. Some would place him on the level of obsessed, unhealthy.

Although, who are you to judge? You act the exact same way towards him. Both of you would incinerate the world for each other, literally.

You also know he wants this video to be his own version of Dantes Inferno, about his journey navigating through hell since he was a kid.

You’ve had many conversations with Dabi about how much of a toll this takes on him. As if he’s weighted down by concrete tied to his ankles. Usually he gets so worked up that smoke ends up seeping through the seams of his staples by the end of it.

Nevertheless, he’s releasing the video tomorrow—whether it’s time for Shiagaraki to wake the hell up or not. No matter what, it’s going to rock the hero society. It’ll crumble the facade they have worked so hard to maintain. You’re lucky enough to know who he really is, the rest of the league, and the world, doesn’t. Yet.

You’re here for support, to make sure he actually gets the video fucking done, before you’re heading off for the day. Doing some sort of asinine errand for the Doc to help keep Shigaraki’s ass alive while he soaks in that vat.

You already decided that later tonight, you’re going make sure Dabi remembers he’s got you to come home too. No matter what happens after the world sees behind the veil.

After some time, you’re still leaning against the wall on the side of the room. Letting little flames ignite from your fingertips, just playing around, having one flame dance from finger to finger.

It’s another thing that had attracted you to Dabi. Even though flame quirks are a dime a dozen, and his flames burn hotter, it made you feel like you were similar, in a way.

Noticing that he’s stopped talking you look up, putting out the flame with a wave of your hand. You watch him walk to the camera to turn it off.

He was shirtless for the video. It shows off how lean he is, but it also shows all the burn scars that cross his chest and torso, up his neck and under his eyes. His hair is white right now and the staples holding him together shine under the light from overhead.

For a beat you remember how cool they feel pressing against your skin when Dabi pins you face down on the bed.

Your body flushes, warmth churning in your belly.

Being in love with a man like Dabi means he takes up most of the space in your brain, running wildly through your thoughts constantly.

To add on it’s not just Dabi you love, it’s Touya too.

You’re desperately aware of the fact that you’re not doing a very decent job of hiding the way your eyes trail his body when he speaks up. His smooth, smoky voice rumbling from his chest.

“You know, it’s rude to stare baby,” Dabi murmurs, inclining his head slightly to look at you. His gaze is sharp but his lips are pulled into a lazy catlike grin.

Embarrassment shoots through you, burrowing into your cheeks. A swarm of butterflies ravages you.

Using your hands, you set them behind you and you push off the wall, trying to form a response. Nobody else but Dabi makes you act like you’ve swallowed your tongue whole.

“Maybe I just like what I see,” you tease, trying to ignore the obvious flush of your chest and neck. Dabi turns to face you as you walk up to him.

You can’t get over the way he looms over you, forcing you to crane your neck to look up at him. The grin never leaves his face. He tugs playfully at a lock of hair that had fallen from your bun, making it seem as if you’ve swallowed cotton balls.

“Oh? You’re one to talk. I could fuck you where you stand and you’d let me,” he flirts, looking oh so casual the whole time.

Dabi twirls the same strand of hair around his finger tightly, before letting it go.

The man radiates fucking heat and it’s a bit like standing too close to a bonfire. It toes the line of too hot, as if your skin would start to melt if you got too close.

Your eyes flutter shut from the familiar warmth, and you taking a deep, steadying breath — willing away the lust that threatens to turn your insides to ash.

You desperately try to remember that now is not the time to let Dabi fuck you silly.

You reluctantly take a step back, only now realizing how close the two of you had gotten. Later, you remind yourself, trying to cool down.

Dabi pushes out his lower lip, pretending to pout.

“Dabi, c’mon, you know I’ve got to go soon. I just wanted to make sure you got this finished today,” you say with hesitation.

Dabi rolls his eyes, no doubt irritated they have you doing bullshit errands. You get it, you feel the same, but you know it’s just less of a hassle to get it done.

It’s not like you don’t want Shigaraki to wake up soon. The crazy, itchy fucker has grown on you.

Besides, you want to get the plan moving and all. Dabi knows this, yet it still pisses him off. He waves a hand dismissively, before turning back to the camera.

“Whatever, go on then,” he bites coldly. Your lips press into a line, the sting of hurt pulsing in your chest briefly.

You shove your hands in your pockets and turn to leave without saying much else. You’re not willing to get into it with him right now, the video has clearly already got him riled up.

Before you can take a step, a blistering palm grabs your forearm, turning you back around. You raise an eyebrow as you meet his intense gaze.

“Yes?” you bite back. Dabi stares down at you, hand trailing down to grip your wrist, wrapping his fingers around as a bracelet. His expression stays sharp, blue eyes piercing.

“Just come back to me tonight, okay?” Dabi demands, an underlying note of concern lacing his tone.

You can’t hold back the smile that pulls at your lips, previous hurt washed away by your adoration for the deranged man in front of you. You nod.

“I will Touya,” you whisper softly.

You tend not to use his real name often, only when you need him to know you’re serious.

It makes his eye twitch, his stomach more often than not twisting in fury when he hears it.

Not with you though. The way his name falls from your lips—he’d be remiss if he didn’t admit it soothes the open wound it’s left behind.

Without another word, Dabi bends down, brushing a kiss over your cheek, letting your wrist go. Your skin tingles where his lips were, the rough texture of his lower one always tickles. You smile softly.

Swiftly you press a kiss to the corner of his mouth in return.

“Love you too, dickhead!” You call out playfully, letting the door swing shut behind you. Dabi scoffs watching you go, but he wears, a small, loving smile at your jab.

He already wishes for the night. As long as can be with you again.

You’re covered in soot and ashes. Smelling like a fucking bonfire gone wrong. The flesh of your hands is singed, stinging, and you curse internally when you curl them into fists.

Generally, it happens when you overuse your quirk. The skin sizzles, steam rising from the reddened flesh. You shake your hands out as you walk, thanking God that it looks worse than it is. It’ll heal relatively quickly.

You’ve managed to procure only a couple bruises though, so you count yourself even luckier. You know Dabi will be fucking pissed either way.

You always have to talk him down from eviscerating the Doc when you wind up coming home banged up from one of his errands.

To top it off, it’s way later than when you normally return from these idiotic missions. It’s well past midnight and you’re sure Dabi is close to committing arson.

The job was a waste of your time. Granted, you admit you may have been a little distracted. You couldn’t stop thinking about the night that lay ahead of you and Dabi.

It’s hard to burn down that many buildings, discreetly, when you’re not focused 100%. You almost got caught at the last building.

Hence the new dark purple splotches covering your left bicep. They throb slightly when you accidentally brush your fingers over them. It’s a miracle you made it out, but you’re not telling Dabi that.

Walking into the front door of the, more or less mansion that is the hideout, you notice it’s quiet in the living room.

None of the usuals that hang out are down here. You look around quickly, thinking maybe you’d catch a glance of Dabi. You scowl when you don’t see his spiky white hair anywhere. You swiped something on the way home, an item that will help the two of you relax. It sits heavy in your back pocket.

You desperately want the two of you to enjoy the night before the world explodes into chaos tomorrow.

You slip your hand into your pocket, just to make sure it’s still there. Your finger tips trace the pre-rolled joints you snagged. You smile coyly to yourself, feeling your heart beat harshly against your rib cage.

A pleasant shiver rolls down your spine as you recall the last time you and Dabi had sex higher than a kite.

Smoking weed isn’t necessarily something you and Dabi do often, but when you get the chance you certainly take advantage of it.

How could you say no? Your body feels relaxed and warm, like your joints are made of butter. The pleasure is always dialed to a 10.

You know Dabi fucking loves it, the one chance he gets to truly relax. You make your way to the stairs as you chew on your bottom lip, mulling over your thoughts.

You’re hoping that once Dabi sees you’re okay, and that you have joints, he won’t be too tempted to set the mansion on fire.

You walk swiftly to your room. You pass by Mr. Compress on the way, the two of you wave in greeting. The sound of your combat boots echo on the wooden floor as you round the corner, stopping at your door.

The door is closed but that’s not unusual. Eagerly, you turn the handle and push open the door. It’s pitch black inside. That…is odd actually. Your grin quickly fades as you step inside, curious, you flip on the low light to the room.

Dabi’s not here. You feel an unwarranted flash of irritation at the realization.

As cliche as it sounds, recently you’ve been finding him playing some sort of game on his desk top computer. You’re not sure he’s ever played one before now and he seems to thoroughly enjoy it. Your chest warms as you think about him getting to experience some sort of normalcy.

However, he’s not at the desk. He’s not anywhere in your room. You shut the door behind you and walk in further. Shoving the feeling of annoyance down your throat, you remind yourself that the villain has got to be somewhere around the hideout.

Hoping he’ll pop up soon you decide it’s best to take a shower. To wash off the layer of disgusting ash you’re covered in.

Setting the joints on your dresser, you strip your nasty clothes off and throw them to the side. You grab one of Dabi’s shirts, one with a skull on it and nothing else before making your way into the en-suite bathroom.

As you stand under the spray of the scalding water, it feels unbelievable. The water acting as a much needed massage for your sore muscles.

You scrub yourself clean, hissing as the soap causes a burning sensation in your hands. You examine the newly pink, sensitive skin of your palms and flex your sore fingers.

The curtain suddenly rips open halfway and you scream loudly, arms flailing wildly. Your head whips to the side, heart in your throat as you see a smug looking Dabi. You place a hand on your chest, pulse thundering.

“You fucking jack ass! You scared the shit out of me! Where the hell have you been?” you shout, angrily flinging water at his face.

Dabi laughs as he brings his hand up in surrender, covering his face from your retaliation. You let out a frustrated noise, quickly turning the water off to face him. You push roughly at his chest, wetting his shirt and he grips the shower curtain with one hand for balance. He’s still fucking laughing.

“I got restless waiting for you. I was with Spinner, who wouldn’t stop yapping about some new video game. I saw Compress and he told me he saw you on your way up. I wanted to fuck with you.” He grins wolfishly, pretending to wipe a fake tear of amusement from his eye. The staples near the corner of his mouth tug at his skin.

You scowl, glaring at him playfully.

“You’re the biggest dick I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting, ya know that?” you chastise him, unable to stop yourself from grinning widely at his relaxed demeanor.

Truthfully, you know nobody else sees this playful side of Dabi. The fact that you’re privy to it, it’s like knowing the world’s greatest secret. You want to put it in a box and keep it safe forever.

“Is that right? And yet, you’re the one who continues to stay with me, princess. I’ve just got you that cock drunk for me, don’t I sweetheart?” You blush violently at his teasing, but there’s absolutely no denying it.

Dabi smirks, taking the chance to let his gaze lazily trail up and down your wet, naked body. Slowly appreciating your form, and biting the tip of his tongue.

You wiggle your eyebrows playfully, popping your hip out, placing your hand there. It pulls an amused laugh from him and he winks at you. The sound of it sets your nerves alight.

Suddenly, you feel Dabi go stock still. The air raises a few degrees as his expression distorts into something feral, his happy mood vanishing.

Your stomach knots up and you shift your weight from foot to foot. You know he’s found the new, rather large, bruises peppering your left bicep. Delicately, he trails his fingers over them with his free hand. You wince.

The sickening scent of burning plastic starts to flood your nose. You glance over, panicking slightly when you see Dabi’s melting the shower curtain in a death grip.

“Touya!” You gasp. “I’m okay, really, I’m fine. Please, look at me baby,” you soothe, gripping his wrist to try and yank him free, but he doesn’t loosen his hold. You place your free hand on his cheek, forcing his manic gaze to meet yours. “It was my fault, I wasn’t paying attention,” you continue in a gentle voice, running your thumb over the scarred flesh under his left eye.

His snowy white eyebrows pinch together, and he lets out a pained sound, hesitantly letting go of the curtain. You swiftly take the opportunity to lace your fingers with his.

You take a peak at the curtain again, noticing a hand print has been permanently melted into it. Touya tugs on your hand harshly, asking for your attention.

He stares intensely at your face, pupils tracking back and forth rapidly, looking wild. When he speaks, it’s as if he’d swallowed a handful of gravel.

“Those goddamn idiots!” He snarls. “Sending you out, letting you get fucked up. If I fucking see that Doc again before Shigaraki wakes up, I’m incinerating him,” he manages to get out through clenched teeth. He’s furious, tone low and menacing.

It definitely does not turn you on.

Touya tangles his fingers through the wet hair at the nape of your neck, squeezing painfully. Your breath catches, scalp tingling.

A torrent of warmth rushes through you, pussy clenching eagerly around air.

It never fails to turn your brain to mush when he’s like this. Protective, possessive. It makes syrupy heat drip down your spine.

You shiver, not just from the chill of being naked, when you realize you’re still dripping wet. Unfortunately, you need a towel.

“I know Touya,” You laugh shakily , wanting to redirect his anger. “ I won’t stop you, promise. Let’s not allow those dumbasses to ruin our night, okay?” You squeeze his hand reassuringly. “I brought a surprise for us to share! So can you be a good boyfriend and please hand me a towel?” You plead, looking at him through your lashes.

Touya doesn’t move for a moment, narrowing his eyes slightly as considers your words, before his expression mellows out. He sighs heavily.

Touya releases his grip on your hair, trailing his rough fingers over your jaw and patting your cheek twice softly. He frees your other hand and turns to grab a towel from the cabinet.

You lift up your arms, very relieved, and wiggle your fingers happily as you wait. Touya sweetly wraps the cloth around your back and crosses it over your chest, tucking it into itself so it stays in place. You beam at him, letting your arms fall to hold it in place.

“Fine. You’ve convinced me not to commit murder tonight. Show me the surprise,” Touya concedes, catlike grin settling into his expression once again. You breathe another sigh of relief, stepping out of the shower. You balance with a hand on his arm.

“I got us joints! I figured some good weed would help us relax and,” you trail your finger over his jaw, biting your lip coyly. You lean in, whispering sensually to him. “I was hoping we could have some fun later, if you know what I mean.”

Standing up straight, you smile smugly, wrapping the towel tighter around yourself, watching his reaction. His head tilts back in delighted laughter.

“That’s the best idea you could’ve had. Let’s go get high out of our minds baby, and then I’ll fuck you into the mattress,” he purrs, grabbing the shirt you left to change into and tugging you along out of the bathroom.

You watch his lean frame from behind, admiring him as he walks. Your man is stupid hot, and you don’t just mean literally.

Once you’re near the bed the two of you release each other. He hands you your shirt and you let your towel unwind, tossing it to the side.

Touya’s hand comes out of nowhere to roughly smack your bare ass. The pain flares, making you yelp.

“Touya!” You scold. “Fuck off for a second will you?” you joke. “Let me at least put my shirt on.” You slip the clothing over your head as you speak, gathering your wet hair into a braid.

Touya snorts. You look at him with a raised brow as he’s taking his own clothes off. Your eyes linger for a moment on the V shape that disappears into his underwear. He winks at you in return when he catches your stare, but you just roll your eyes.

“Why are you even putting clothes on? You know I’m just going to get you naked later,” Touya complains as he crawls onto your shared bed. He leans his back against the headboard. Touya looks at you expectantly, patting the spot next to him as he shoves his long, pale legs under the blanket.

“Yes I know, but I still get cold sometimes, plus I like this shirt, it’s soft,” you reply, picking up the joints from your dresser, turning the overhead light off, and shimmying up the bed to him.

You make it a point to sit so your thigh and arm are squished against his as you recline next him. You use a pillow to support your lower back.

“You know I can keep you just as warm baby,” Touya coos, pulling up the soft fuzzy blanket that covers your bed so you can get your own legs underneath. He lets it rest at your waist.

Touya gently warms the space beneath and you swallow a moan. It feels amazing. Turning your head to look at him, you smile lazily. He wiggles his eyebrows as you hold up a joint to him, urging him to light it.

“I know, and later on you’re gonna make me sweat,” you tease, watching as he smirks.

He doesn’t even pay attention as he uses his finger to light the joint. A little blue flame that instantly eats the paper, setting it alight.

You kiss his cheek in thanks, selfishly taking the first drag. Fuck, it tastes like heaven. A twisted version of lemon flavor bursts across your tongue. It’s sweet, but also bitter.

You let the smoke swirl in your lungs while you hold your breath. Letting it out in a long exhale, the smoke ghosts across Touya’s face. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, groaning as he breathes out.

After a joint and a half in, you’re feeling the perfect level of high. You’re leaning your head on Touya’s shoulder, studying your fingertips.

You’re something akin to the warm butter that melts on top of pancakes. Your head feels fuzzy and you know Touya is in the clouds.

”Baby,” Touya softly calls for you, smooth like whiskey. His honeyed voice sends a shiver down your spine. Your head feels heavy when you lift it, looking at him with a dopey grin.

“Hmm?” you try to ask. Managing to giggle in response. He tilts his head down towards you. He’s wearing a matching lazy grin, his eyes half-lidded.

“Let me shot gun that pretty mouth,” he murmurs, taking the last large inhale from the joint. He holds his breath and puts out the joint on his palm, laying the roach on the bedside table.

You nod happily, stomach unbearably warm as you lean towards him. You let your mouth fall open obediently.

Touya looks sly, meeting you halfway. His different textured lips pressing to yours easily, slightly opened as he slowly pushes the smoke out of his lungs and into your mouth.

Your eyes flutter closed as the tendrils of smoke roll into your mouth. It makes you feel a bit feverish and everything feels like it’s rolling in slow motion.

You inhale equally as slow, taking your time, pulling it into your lungs. It makes you feel dizzy. You hold it for a moment, until your chest starts to burn and then you break from the kiss.

Turning your head minutely, you let it all out in one breath. Your tongue slips out to lick your lower lip, the aftertaste from the joint making your mouth water.

You slide your gaze to Touya’s. He brings his hand up, letting his fingers rest on your jaw as he runs a thumb over the lip you just licked. His eyes burn with a low heat, like embers.

“Feeling high princess?” he whispers, leaning a bit closer, lips only a couple centimeters from yours. He’s gentle, holding your jaw, fingers pressing in on both sides now.

Your eyes are lidded and it feels like his rich voice physically melts through your skin, into your veins. You admire how pretty his face is, feeling your pussy throb. You bite your lip and nod, tickling a hand over his collarbone. He shivers.

“So high,” you giggle and whisper your next sentence, as if you’re telling him a secret. “Will you fuck me now Touya?”

Touya’s fingers twitch before they slide down to wrap around your throat, squeezing lightly. The staples on his wrist scratch at your neck. He’s studying your face, letting his lips pull into a wicked grin as he inches forward, brushing his mouth against yours.

“With pleasure baby girl,” he rumbles, pressing the words into your lips. You moan into his mouth, kissing him slowly over and over.

You’re just starting to lick into his mouth when he puts pressure on your windpipe and you get the message, breaking the kiss with a whine.

He laughs softly as he releases your neck and you shift until you’re lying down flat on the bed, head resting on the pillow.

The change in position makes the room spin and you blink your eyes slowly. You’ve planted your feet on the bed, letting your legs fall open. Moving around makes your shirt rise up to your hips, slick pussy on display for Touya.

You’re vaguely aware of how wet you already are, and it’s too hot in the room, your face heats again and sweat trails down your temple.

The only light in the room is from the TV you had turned on absently. Yet, you can still see Touya’s chest. He has his own light sheen of sweat covering his skin, nipples stiff and perky.

The white haired man maneuvers to get in between your thighs. He sits back on his calves, palms resting on the tops of your knees as he takes a look at your soft pussy.

The sight makes his cock ache, straining to be free from his briefs. He feels his tip positively leaking, sticking to the soft material.

“C‘mere Touya,” you whine softly, reaching your arms out for him. His expression is relaxed, loving as he bends to your will, resting his forearms on either side of your head.

You wind your arms around his neck, pulling him down into another kiss. Your lips slide together eagerly, the heat between you blazing.

His bottom lip is rough but the texture makes you moan every time. He easily slips his tongue inside your mouth, rolling them together, and you bite the delicate muscle briefly.

A husky moan pushes past his lips, causing him to break the kiss.

“Goddammit baby, I wanna fuck you so bad,” he groans, voice wrecked as he sucks dark marks in a line up your neck, gripping the hem of your shirt.

“Please,” you beg, the word sticking to the roof of your mouth. Touya doesn’t hesitate, sitting back momentarily to free you of your shirt, throwing it somewhere behind him.

The air brings a slight chill, making your nipples harden. Goosebumps erupt along your chest and you whine. Touya rests his hands on your soft belly, dick jumping, drooling as he takes in your naked body. His large, warm palms cover most of the skin there, fingers splayed on your ribs.

His eyes are red and glossy as they trail over your tits, noticing your nipples are pretty little pebbles. God, he’s so hard he could cut diamonds.

He quickly shoves his underwear off, the urge to be naked swallowing him whole. His cock bobs free as it catches on the waistband of his briefs. You watch, catching sight of the curly white hair resting just above the base.

He settles again between your legs, gripping his shaft and squeezing briefly for some relief. His own touch feels electric and he moans through his teeth. He knows you’ll feel a thousand times better than his hand.

He’s quick to swipe his thumb between your pussy lips, parting them as he drags it up to your clit, starting to massage slow circles there.

You choke on an inhale, head feeling heavy. Your limbs feel like jello, warmth flowing through you. You hum, reaching out to wrap a hand around the silky smooth skin of his shaft. He lets out a broken moan when you pump his cock, letting his foreskin pull back.

“Touya, c’mon, pretty please? Don’t wanna wait,” you say with breathy sigh. You keep stroking his cock, twisting your wrist upwards and he groans again, sounding breathless.

“You don’t have to ask me twice baby, you know how much I love fucking you,” he purrs, looking exactly like the Cheshire Cat.

He places a hand on each of your inner thighs, spreading you open a little more. You tilt your hips up a little, so you can guide his thick cock inside of you. You tease yourself, sliding his tip over your swollen clit. You let out a low curse as it sends electricity up your spine.

A short whine slips through Touya’s lips as the head of his cock presses in smoothly. Removing your hand, you give him the reigns to do the rest as he stretches your pussy completely. You tilt your head back on the pillow as you start clenching around him.

“Oh,” you say as if you’ve been sucker punched. “Touya, you feel so good!” you cry out, thoughts disjointed. You tremble at the overwhelming pleasure, white knuckling the pillow under you.

You’re sure you could cum just from the stretch of his cock alone, your sensitivity at an all time high. You chance a look at your boyfriend, panting.

His eyebrows are scrunched and he’s gritting his teeth, eyes locked on where he’s disappeared inside you. Warm pussy wrapped around him perfectly.

“Shit,” he curses lowly. “You’re so fucking tight,” he laughs incredulously rocking his hips shallowly.

His own mind is fuzzy, body high so intense he could sob. You lay there and take it beautifully as he starts to fuck you for real, slow and deep.

Your limbs are like lead, and you’ve all but become one with the mattress, the pleasure all you can focus on. The sound of your skin smacking together makes your ears burn. You’re watching the way his fingers grip your thighs, the way the muscles in his lower abdomen flex with every thrust.

“You’re so fucking hot Touya, God - I can’t,” you all but sob. You can’t focus on anything else but the way his cock drags in and out of your pussy. Touya hums softly and leans forward, bracing his hands on the bed, caging you between. You look up at him through your lashes.

“What do you want baby? Hmm? Tell me,” he pants, voice smoldering. Your entire body flushes even hotter. Quirk raising up just below your skin and you keep your hands from the sheets for fear of turning them to ash.

Letting out a low moan, you grip his forearms, he can take the heat of your quirk. He sucks in a breath through his teeth when your scalding palms make contact with his skin.

You’re able to keep it under control for now. You take note of the way your tits bounce with each of his thrusts. He watches them, eyes almost unfocused, unfazed by the blistering heat of your palms, before his gaze locks with yours when you start to speak.

“Want you to fuck me from behind, please,” you mumble, words blending together as you try to keep your eyes open. The pleasure is making your brain feel thick.

“Fuck yes, turn that pretty ass around,” he agrees, leaning back and pulling his cock free. It bounces slightly and you notice he’s glistening from your slick, notching your arousal up by a few degrees.

You don’t waste a second, rolling over onto your belly. The sensation of moving underwater is what you would compare it to.

You raise up on your knees, showing off the curve of your spine as you rest your cheek on the mattress below. The sheets are soft, caressing your skin as you nuzzle against it, distractedly.

You’re gripping the sheets by your head when you feel Touya’s palm crack harshly against your ass,forcing you to jolt forward.

“Ah!” You whine into the sheets. He must’ve heated his hand, because you can feel your ass almost blistering from where he spanked you.

You assume that’s some sort of revenge from what you did to his forearms earlier. Not that it matters, the pain and pleasure mix together even better.

“Look at you, so obedient. You want me to fuck you like a dog, don’t you?” He teases, words sitting heavy on his tongue.

He grips the base of his cock and rubs the head between your lips, parting them easily.

You open your mouth to answer but you’re cut off. He’s already bullying his way back into you without abandon.

Touya grips your hips tight enough you worry he’s gripping the bone. His cock throbs, your pussy feels tighter this way.

It’s making his head spin, watching himself pull out, cock shiny and slick, before filling you once again. His heart thumps hard in his rib cage, thinking about just how much he fucking loves you.

“Oh god.” You shove your face into the mattress as Touya starts to move hard and fast. His cock filling you out perfectly with each thrust.

The friction is blistering, pleasure burning through your limbs. He presses his hands into your lower back, pushing the arch in your spine to its breaking point and he uses his weight to fuck you.

His cock bullies your sweet spot again and again, ripping muffled screams from your throat and into the mattress.

You’re starting to squirm under him, overly sensitive while he pushes you closer to your peak. You unconsciously try to crawl away from him, but he notices. You’ve started to fist the sheets again, for any kind of leverage.

“That’s the spot, isn’t baby? You’re so cute, trying to crawl away from me. You’re not fucking going anywhere. Be good, baby girl,” he demands, huffing lightly. He leans forward to brace one hand on the back of your neck, pinning you down.

He lets his other hand rest on the middle of your lower back, pressing down there too. How you’re able to keep your knees under you is beyond you. The first heavy thrust after that has you wailing, eyes stinging with tears.

“Fuck! Touya, right there, don’t stop,” you beg, feeling small underneath him. The pleasure is overwhelming. It’s not long at all before a knot starts to wind up taught in your lower abdomen, and you struggle to try and warn him.

“Go ahead princess, I’ve got you. Cum for me, I want to feel it,” Touya purrs, bending forward to brace one hand by your head. The other still pining you down by the back of the neck.

The staples adorning his wrist feel cold against your overheated flesh. Oddly enough, the difference in temperature is what pushes you over the edge.

You cum, brutally. Pussy fluttering, gripping Touya so tight you can’t believe he’s still sliding in and out of you. Heat gushes through you in waves, curling your toes.

“Oh!” you gasp, a pressure building in your bladder. “You’re gonna make me squirt,” you say in surprise. Fingernails bite into your skin, warm breath is against your ear.

“Then fucking do it baby,” he breathes, never slowing his pace. A thrill runs through you, fingers curling in the sheets.

Pleasure ripples through you as you squirt. Soaking the sheets and Touya’s inner thighs. Your mouth stays open in a silent scream.

Touya moans in your ear, whispering words of encouragement as he works you through it. You notice his cock start to twitch inside you as you come down from your high.

Touya murmurs sweet nothings against your ear, letting you know he’s about to cum.

You tell him just how much you want it, how much you need to him to fill you up—and he does just that. Pressing all the way in until his balls fit snugly against your pussy.   Touya cums with a noise that sounds like it’s been punched from his chest. Panting as he nudges your knees out from you, so you both collapse to the mattress.

You both catch you breath for a moment, Touya letting himself go soft before he makes a move to pull out.   Touya rolls off you gently, onto his back. You breathe a sigh of relief, turning your head to see if his face.

“Are you okay?” he asks, cheeks flushed from the strenuous movements.

“I’m great,” you laugh, poking his ribs. He chuckles, giving you a half smile. “Can you get me a towel? Seeing as it’s your fault I’m a mess now,” you tease. Touya rolls his eyes playfully.

You flip over onto your back as retreats to get a towel, returning swiftly.

”Thank you,” you hum, cleaning yourself the best you can, not bothering to put clothes back on as you get under the blankets.

You sigh happily, turning on your side as the bed dips. Touya settles down facing you, snaking an arm around your waist to tug you closer.

“I love you,” you whisper, trailing your fingers down the side of his face, stopping to press on one of his staples under his eye.   “I love you,” he replies, just as softly.

”I’ll follow you to hell, you know that, right?” You say, raising an eyebrow. He sighs, leaning forward to brush a kiss over your forehead.

“I know. I’ll incinerate the world for you, you know that, right?” He teases, placing his forehead on yours. You laugh gently, nodding as you kiss him once more.

#dabi smut #dabi x reader #mha smut #touya smut #todoroki touya x reader #touya x reader #todoroki touya smut #todoroki x reader #todoroki smut #mha x reader #mha dabi #mha todoroki #dividers by cafekitsune

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centrally-unplanned · 9 months ago

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This article about Hamas's strategic planning in the lead up to the October assault was at least a partial mind-changer for me. So far I had been viewing Hamas as executing a "bait" attack on Israel for international & domestic political reasons. Kill enough Israelis, and in particular take some hostages, to force Israel to invade Gaza; which you want because that will re-inflame radicalism, tank Israel's growing coziness with Arab states like the Gulf Monarchies, and keep the Palestine Question front-and-center on people's agendas.

What it was not about was achieving any sense of a military victory; Hamas did not think they would be able to defeat the IDF on the field, or even truly hold them back. They thought they would do better than they have in defending Gaza, to be honest, but the goal wasn't to "win" in that way or anything. The actions of Israel, in their inflamed bloodlust, would be the fulcrum of progress for Hamas. It was the most logical interpretation of their strategy, because tbh its working, Israel's strategy void has bungled this war at every level. Of course if it is "worth it" is a completely separate question - Hamas is playing a game from deep, deep in the red, if you aren't going to fold and pack it up from that position these are the hail mary plays you make.

This article, a long (and sometimes overly windy) interview with two career members of the Palestinian governing orgs (primarily Fatah), shines a very different light on that. They outline that over the past ~decade, Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar coalesced power around his own faction of highly fundamentalist adherents that convinced itself that divine favor was shining on them and they would be able to actually defeat Israel in the field. The most compelling evidence for this is a conference they held planning the post-conquest occupation of Israel:

So detailed were the plans that participants in the conference began to draw up list of all the properties in Israel and appointed representatives to deal with the assets that would be seized by Hamas. "We have a registry of the numbers of Israeli apartments and institutions, educational institutions and schools, gas stations, power stations and sewage systems, and we have no choice but to get ready to manage them," Obeid told the conference.

They even called people up to ask if they would take the job of governor of this-of-that province! This was not a bored-Friday white paper by any means. They discussed defensive plans and counter-offensives like that was on the table. Sinwar outlined conquest as the goal.

If we accept this premise, it naturally lends itself to the question "okay how did they get the rest of Hamas to go along with this?" Because Hamas is not all These Kinds of People, its a governing state that does politics on the international stage after all. One of the reasons I leaned towards my interpretation was that, for the past ~decade, Hamas has actually been doing a glam-up rebranding of the org to make it more moderate & respectable in international eyes. The 2017 Charter Revision is the biggest example, which included say disavowing the idea that this was a religious war (distinguishing between zionism & judaism), and loosely admitting to the idea that they could recognize Israel as a country if terms were met. Actions like these show actors who are pretty level-headed. Were they inauthentic? Did they change their mind?

Maybe a bit, but its more than they aren't the same people. Right alongside the build-up to the October attack was a purging & sidelining of whole swaths of Hamas leadership. Many were not even informed of the attack - though they knew something was coming. Apparently it leaked on October 2nd, and a bunch of leaders just immediately fled the Strip for safety. This one is the most amusing:

Haniyeh's eldest son took a similar course of action. Around midday on October 2, Abed Haniyeh chaired a meeting of the Palestinian sports committee, which is headed by the minister of sports, Jibril Rajoub. Suddenly he received a phone call, left the room for a few minutes and then returned, pale and confused. He immediately informed the committee – whose members were in a Zoom conference with counterparts in the West Bank – that he had to leave for the Rafah crossing straightaway, as he had just learned that his wife had to undergo fertility treatment in the United Arab Emirates. (He was lying.) He granted full power of attorney to his deputy and left the Gaza Strip hurriedly.

That is one way to duck out of a pointless meeting, take notes people!

So instead of my hail mary politics play, what you have is a story of an institutional coup by a radical faction - which for extremist resistance groups is an ever-present threat. None of this means the "bait" strategy part is wrong of course, that was definitely still the point - but this argument here claims that goal of the bait was to bring the IDF into Gaza where it could be defeated in the field with their extensive fortifications, and then presumably inspire others like Hezbollah to jump on the moment of weakness and besiege Israel proper.

So....is this true? There are two gigantic caveats on this article: the first is that the people being interviewed do not primarily work for Hamas - they are members of Fatah, the leading faction of the PLO. They hate Hamas, they are not Hamas leaders themselves, they have every incentive to paint Hamas as irredeemable. You really can't take this story simply at their word. But they aren't outsiders - they hate Hamas but they work with them constantly, that is how it works, people rotate around in the Palestine orgs. They have met personally and worked with dozens of Hamas leaders; one of them was even called to be offered one of those post-war occupation governorships! (He said no lol) So its a big red flag but not a damning one. And things like the fleeing leaders, the conference on the occupation, those all 100% happened. They released press on it, they weren't hiding it.

The second caveat is that its just really not uncommon for large organizations, particularly extremist ones, to engage in mainly performative actions at scale. The South Korean government still maintains a department that plans for the administration of North Korea for example! Not totally useless ofc, but it writes exactly the reports you think it does that get put in a bin and never touched. Sometimes its appeasing internal factions, sometimes its PR, sometimes its just institutional inertia. Its absolutely believable that Hamas would make a big plan for how they would conquer Israel because otherwise...what do you tell the commanders, exactly? Why are they fighting again? A significant percentage of the lower-level fighters need that belief, so you give it to them. While certainly there is a fundamentalist faction in Hamas, are they ones winning? Or are they just another faction being played against?

I don't see enough evidence to say, but there is enough to make me pause. I'm not sold on it in the end, that is my final conclusion. I think more brains than Sinwar were involved in this and they had more realistic aspirations. And yet the level of commitment and disorganization does suggest that at least some of what was pushing events forward was a group immune to doubts being at the wheel. Certainly interested in researching more.

#i/p conflict

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licorice-tea · 10 months ago

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Duty At The Expense Of Desire

Pairing: Trafalgar Law x reader

Content: mild cursing, lots of arguing between reader and Law, reader is nervous to be in a relationship, platonic luffy and reader <3, reader loves the strawhats a lot :)

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: i spent so long just rereading this, i don’t know why but it feels kind of hard to understand? so i might revise it again in the future idk yet! i hope you enjoy reading, again this is very very loosely based on kate and anthony’s season in bridgerton! it was originally going to be 2 parts, but it’s looking like a full on series now… lmk if you want to be tagged in future parts! enjoy! <3

Part 2 | Part 4

Now that your feelings for Law have been revealed- not only to him but to yourself- you find the tension between the two of you is undeniably different from before.

What were once looks of contempt now harbor some quiet desire. Chances of accidentally brushing shoulders when you pass by each other are avoided altogether, for fear of fueling a fire neither of you know how to deal with. And any crass or biting quips are cut out of your minimal interactions completely, as you both now feel they come off as flirtatious rather than standoffish.

A few days have gone by since you confronted Law and he admitted his true feelings for you, all of which have been spent at sea. Nami says there won’t be an island to dock at for at least another three days, given how the weather is slowing the ship, so your crew’s only source of entertainment is each other.

“Y/n,” she asks while the two of you along with Robin relax on the deck, “what happened between you and Traffy the other day?”

Your breath hitches and you cough unnecessarily, already giving away your nervousness to the two very observant women. “Uh, not much.”

“Well, what did you two talk about? You didn’t come back to the table after, so I thought you must have stayed together…” Robin smiles softly, baiting you to reveal more.

“What? No, no, oh my god no… We just…”

Nami urges you on with a sing-song voice; “You just?”

“We… talked.”

“Talked about what?”

“I don’t know. Our issues with each other.”

“And you resolved them?”

“Come on, y/n, tell us what happened!”

“Nothing happened.”

You stand up then, too annoyed to continue talking to your friends. It’s not even their fault really; you would want to know what had gone on too, if the roles were reversed. Maybe you’re just annoyed with yourself for not being able to face your own feelings.

With no particular destination in mind, you find yourself in the Thousand Sunny’s library. When you open the door, you see Law browsing the selection of books your crew has accumulated throughout your travels. You shouldn’t be surprised to see him, but you are.

That’s what it must be; what other reason could there be for the sudden raving of your heart and your breath hitching? Any feelings you ever had for him were buried deep inside after last night; too deep to allow yourself to feel them to the extent you were currently, and so these must all be signs of surprise.

You steel yourself and walk in, letting the door close behind you. Law looks up to find out who the person intruding on his studying is, but his eyes are blown wide when he makes eye contact with you. Neither of you speaks as you turn away and cross the room in quick strides to another section of the library.

“Stupid Law,” you think as you try to calm your mind- an impossible task when he’s standing anywhere in the same room. “Stupid weather,” preventing you from getting to an island so you can get some damn space from him. “Stupid library, ” because of its shelves that make it all too easy and tempting to peak through and catch a glimpse of him.

Actually, maybe that’s not too risky of an idea. Cautiously, you bend down slightly and pretend to scan the titles on the shelf. You allow your eyes to slowly wander off the books until you can see Law by peering upwards. But low and behold, he’s staring right back at you.

You gasp and stand up straight, silently cursing your silly plan.

“Y/n.” He walks over to you, 2 books tucked under his arm. “l was under the impression you wanted me to keep your distance from me.”

“I do.”

“I find that hard to believe with the way you’ve been acting around me.”

“It’s just weird. You made me admit that I had feelings for you, and now things are weird.”

“I made you? You didn’t have to say anything, you could’ve rejected me and we both would’ve moved on.”

“I did reject you.”

“By telling me you feel the same? That’s some rejection.”

“You shouldn’t have said anything in the first place.”

“I had to, you told me that you thought I hated you.”

“But I didn’t make you say that you have feelings for me, and so now you’ve made it impossible to ignore.”

“Believe me, I tried to ignore it. To ignore you. It was pointless.”

“Then you weren’t trying hard enough. I could’ve gone a lifetime without bringing up the way I feel for you if it means my crew will be able to continue this alliance for our goals.”

“Don’t give me that shit, your captain made this alliance because he thinks we’re friends. You seriously think he had a goal in mind while doing so?”

With a roll of your eyes, you cross your arms over your chest. “Maybe not, but Luffy is the captain- I trust him, and so I follow him in any endeavor he believes in.”

“Well, I’m the captain of my own crew, and I believe that whatever we have going on is a little more than ally-ship.”

“Regardless of whatever is going on between us, is it really a smart idea to complicate such an important alliance?”

“…No. I suppose it’s not.”

“Then drop it-” You turn, ready to forget about this conversation and continue hiding your feelings away when he grabs your wrist.

“But they wouldn’t care, y/n, and you know that. Your crew thrives on-” he gestures vaguely with his free hand, “-friendship and rainbows and joy.”

Shaking off a smile, you bite back. “That might be true, but you know what’s even more important to my crew? Protecting each other. They wouldn’t like me being with you; even if we are temporary allies, you’re a Captain of another crew and one of the Supernovas. So don’t tell me what they would and wouldn’t be ok with.”

Law seems to think for a second before he releases your wrist. “Hmph.”

Finally, you take your leave to find somewhere- with no Law and no watchful friends- to just think.

You settle on the bow of the ship. If you had an ability like Luffy’s or any guarantee that you wouldn’t slip right off and into the sea, you would like to sit on the masthead of the Sunny. A clear, unobstructed view of the world ahead, and the breeze to keep the hair out your eyes could be so peaceful. But, this has some sort of charm to it as well; you do seem to love a challenge (even if it’s one as simple as having to lean over the railing of a ship to see the horizon).

With a cheerful call, the man you had just been thinking of joins you on the railing by the ship’s bow. Luffy speaks animatedly of his plans for all sorts of things, but during a lull in conversation, he asks you something unexpected.

“Do you love him?”

“What?”

“Traffy! Do you love him?”

“I…”

“You’ve said how much you hate him, but that just means your feelings for him are strong. So you love him, right?”

You’ve never been more bothered to hear Luffy say something so uncharacteristically observant.

“I love you guys.”

He hums. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t love other people, too.”

“…I won’t ever leave this crew, Luffy.”

“Of course you won’t!” He latches onto you in an iron-grip hug, and you smile ever so slightly. “But, y/n.”

“Yeah?”

He releases you and instead grabs your shoulders to talk to you face to face. His face seems especially serious- the same way it does when he makes a bold declaration of his dreams or beliefs. “If you love someone, you tell them. You don’t hide it, because you never know when they could be gone.”

Finally, your barely-there smile opens into a full grin. “When did you get to be so wise?”

Luffy shrugs. “Shanks told me that once, I just felt it made sense for you too.”

You and your captain stay there a while longer, giggling over this and that until the sun starts to set on the horizon.

“I'm gonna go sit on Sunny- you wanna come with me?”

Though you’d been fantasizing over what it would feel like up there just a few minutes ago, you shake your head. “No thanks. But, uh, Luffy?”

“Yeah?”

“Could you… not tell anyone about what we talked about?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, for sure!”

You would come to regret being so vague with your captain, even if he does occasionally display astonishing emotional intelligence.

At dinner- where there’s always something going on- you make an effort to sit far from Law. Your attempt is in vain, however, as he ends up right across from you. Luffy sits to your left, and while he takes a small break from stuffing his mouth, he nudges you with his elbow.

Your eyes meet your captain’s as he winks at you, then looks over at Law, and back to you. You can practically see the gears turning in his head as he had some sort of… plan in the works. With a wide grin, he asks, “Soooo Y/n, when are you and Traffy going to get married?”

A moment of silence passes before laughter erupts around the table from everyone except you and “Traffy.” The latter covers his face with one hand and pinches the bridge of his nose while you look simply horrified.

What had happened to not speaking of your earlier conversation? Admittedly, you had spoken of several subjects after your discussion of your feelings for Law… and knowing Luffy, he could have mistaken your vow of silence to be for any one of those subjects.

Since you’re sure your captain didn’t mean to embarrass you with his straightforward view of relationships, you just shake your head and give a muttered response. “We- we’re not, um, going to….”

Law, on the other hand, appears too bothered to stick around and listen to any more jokes. He stands abruptly and disappears in a flash of blue light.

You stick around long enough to finish your plate, then thank Sanji and leave quietly. Some unknown force draws you to Law, when you see him in Nami’s little grove of orange trees. Cautiously, you approach him.

“…Law? I- I’m sorry about that. I don’t know why Luffy said that.”

“It was embarrassing.”

“Okay, Law, they were all just joking. And I can’t even really blame them, because this entire situation is pretty fucking ridiculous.”

“No, y/n, it’s embarrassing that everybody knows how I feel and that you feel the same, and they’re all happy with the idea of us together, but you still don’t want to be with me.”

“It’s not personal, you know that.”

“How can it not be personal?”

“Everything I do is for my crew. I have a duty to them, and not even you or my own feelings will get in the way of that.”

“Do you seriously still believe that they would care if we were together?”

You purse your lips.

“I took your word for it at first, because you know your own crew better than I do, but clearly they have very little regard for what we do. Now I am inclined to believe that you made it up when you said they wouldn’t like us being… being something. And as foolish as I feel after believing that ridiculous excuse, I still want you, y/n. Tell me you want me too.”

“How much?” You ask with a fierce look.

“How much what?”

“How much do you want me, Law? You keep talking about your feelings for me, but you haven’t even said what they are.”

Again, you seem to find any way to continue arguing with the man before you as a means of releasing pent-up feelings. Just kissing him might be easier, but also a whole lot more terrifying and uncertain.

“Desire, attraction, whatever you want to call it-“

“Well, I’m not going to put everything on the line for someone who is attracted to me.”

“It’s more than that, you know that-“

“You know what I think?”

“…What?”

“I think that you can’t even admit to yourself- let alone aloud- the extent of your feelings for me. You want me to say it first so that nothing bad will happen if you put yourself out there, and that’s not going to happen.”

“I-“ He starts to speak, but can’t think of a rebuttal. You have him pegged. “I may not know exactly what my feelings are yet, but I can feel them, y/n. You remain on my mind constantly- so if you want me to stop feeling for you, then you need to stop.”

“Oh, I need to stop?”

“Yes, you-“

“You’re the one constantly making me reconsider everything I tell myself. You are the one who needs to stop.”

“Before what? Before we give in to this… obvious desire, and put aside duties to do something for ourselves?”

Heavy breathing fills the silence. He always manages to rile you up, and you can’t stand it.

“You should go. No, in fact,” you raise your hands in a gesture of surrender, “I’ll go.”

Without giving him the chance to respond, you flee down the stairs to the main deck and through the doors to the cabin hall. All this back and forth with Law is giving you a headache.

You can’t deny it any longer though; now that your captain knows too, it’s like you’ve spoken it into permanent existence. You’re in love with Law, and there’s next to nothing stopping you from being with him in the way you truly desire. Not even your sense of duty.

You should never have counted on the Strawhats to hold you back from something- or someone you love.

Taglist: @augustanna @lavanderdreamve @pinksaiyans @khaleesihavilliard @jennapancake @pinki-minki @loserbee14

#fanfic #one piece x reader #one piece #one piece x you #x reader #law x reader #law x you #law x y/n #straw hat pirates #trafalgar d law x reader #law fluff #law angst #trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar law #straw hat reader #luffy x reader #platonic luffy x reader #cat burglar nami #nico robin

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streamdotpng · 7 months ago

Text

Art Commissions!

Note: Prices can change and vary depending on what is being commissioned! I'm generally flexible when it comes to prices and budget.

+10-15 usd per person

+5-10 usd depending on the background

Note: There can be additional charges due to paypal fees

If more examples are needed, you can go through my art tag or ask for more in DM's!

Can Draw!

Fanart

oc’s/humanoids

pngtuber models

character sheets

horror, gore (not excessive)

Chibi

NSfW

Might Draw (We’ll need to talk about these requests)

full on furries (not so experienced)

excessive gore/horror (same excuse as above)

comics

honestly, if it isn’t in the Can Draw, let’s talk about it.

Will not:

hate art

anything political

if it crosses my boundaries

Terms and Service! (this is a long one)

The client may ask for progress updates every 2-4 days, if not longer, should the commissionee not be in contact.

The art may take longer than the estimated time the artist gives. Should that be an issue or concern, the client must tell the artist.

In commissioning the artist, the client acknowledges that the artist is a student and that this is not the artist’s full time job, and the client should not expect the artist to be able to treat it as such.

IMAGE RIGHTS

The client may not, in any way shape or form, use the art in a commission product for NFTs, no matter how much they offer to pay the artist. Should NFTs be made of the art without consent, the client gives full consent for the artist to take legal action against them.

The client may make minor edits to the completed commission (e.g. cropping, adding text/borders, changing brightness/contrast/hue/saturation…

The client may use/reupload the commission for personal/non-commercial use, but only if proper credit to the artist and a linkback to any of the artist’s social media is provided.

If the commission includes characters that do not belong the client, additional credit to the owner(s)/creator(s) of said characters must be provided when using/reuploading for personal/non-commercial use.

The client may not use the commission for any commercial use unless discussed with the artist beforehand.

^ Should the client use the art for commercial use, provided the artist’s consent, the artist will receive an agreed-upon percentage of the sales profits.

The client MUST credit the artist for any usage of the art on any platform.

The client MUST ask the artist if they want to use their art as a reference, and proceed to credit each time the reference is used. REVISION POLICIES Once the coloring stage begins, the only major revisions permitted are details that the artist may have missed and was specified by the client in the order while the commission was still in the sketching/lineart stage (e.g. a missing tattoo that’s essential to the character’s design).

If the client is unsatisfied with the commission, the artist is willing to discuss and make minor edits as stated prior (e.g. adjusting colors). However, the artist will not redraw the piece and expects full payment, as the client should have specified in the sketch stage changes they wanted to be made.

The client may not hire another artist to adjust the image without the commissionee’s consent.

The artist is willing to edit the image post commission for the commissioner, but may charge a small fee depending on what is being asked of them. Upon commissioning the artist, the client automatically agrees to the terms of service provided, as it is assumed they have read them.

…and that’s about it? Just don’t expect me to be obligated to draw something and we'll figure something out. Not to mention that depending on how much commissions i’m getting and how busy i am, the art will take atleast a few days to a week!

If you got references, provide them! It’ll help alot. You can also ask for progress updates, just don’t mind me accidentally not seeing the message bc this is tumblr and I don’t get notifs for some reason.

as of rn, im accepting payment through ko-fi and paypal

But ye! That’s about it, thanks for seeing this yall. If you want to see more examples, simply look at the tags below in my account!

#commissions open #commission work #rendered #commission sheet #open commissions

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minithzya · 1 year ago

Text

The beautiful banished god and the infamous crimson dragon

A gift for my friend YingAn

(Revised version of my silly thread fic from twitter)

I must clarify two things, one, I don't use to write, it is not my cup of tea :( and second, English is not my first language :D

Xie Lian was lost in the middle of nowhere, in what was probably one of the coldest winters he had ever experienced in his 800 years banished from heaven.

But how lucky could he be? Find an abandoned mansion? In the middle of the forest? The mansion had a few collapsed walls, sharp claw marks on floors and walls, there was even an area of the mansion that appeared to have suffered a fire some time ago. But it was better than being cold outside.

He stayed there for only a few days, just until the weather will improve a little. One day exploring, he found a room (which seemed to be the main one), it had a huge hole in the ceiling, it also seemed that the beast that destroyed the mansion left marks of its claws in this room with more fury. But above of a little table, that was curiously intact, a beautiful ring shone. Xie Lian took it and examined it carefully, a precious little treasure that could help him get out of troubles. He could sell the little ring and get food and warmer robes. The same day, the weather improved and he began to pack his things. But his luck was never good. It seems that the beast that lived in this destroyed mansion had returned home, he hadn't gone even a few Li away from the property when he heard a roar.

Xie Lian didn't hesitate and ran as fast as he could. He had been wandering and exploring all over the place, it was very probably that he had left his scent everywhere and of course, nobody wants an intruder in their home. Right? The beast was hunting him. There were good days when he could rest, sleep a bit or eat somenthing but there were days when the beast managed to found his trace and Xie Lian had to keep running, even one of those occasions he managed to see the beast, a red dragon. A formidable beast.

Xie Lian knows he can't defeat such a creature, much less now that his powers were sealed in cursed shackles. Also he can't ask for help or hide in a city. The common folk can't do nothing against a dragon. Moreover, who will help an outsider like him? Xie Lian was alone in this situation.

And precisely, his “mortal” body begged for rest. Xie Lian couldn't keep running forever, he was hungry, the cold was merciless with his tired bones and sore limbs. It wasn't until he realized, that maybe this monster was after him for having "taken" something of it. He hung the ring on a branch so it will be visible for the beast, he whispered a soft "I'm sorry" and the poor Xie Lian just walked only a few steps before collapsing.

Finally, the beast found him. Completely at it's mercy. It took the ring in it's claws and with all delicacy, the dragon took Xie Lian's limp body in his jaws and flew across the sky, taking Xie Lian back to it's mansion. After all, the infamous crimson dragon, Hua Cheng, needs a wife to break his curse.

Only the person who is destinated for him, this brave, noble, and gracious special someone, will be able to see and touch his heart, the ring.

The end :D (or not?)

Bonus! RaccoonLian is defending his husband uwu

#tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #mxtx #xie lian #hua cheng #hualian #hua cheng x xie lian #天官赐福 #花怜 #tgcf

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rougepancake · 5 months ago

Note

Here is my revised request lol

Where it's a one-sided love/crush with yushiro, mitsuri, Obana, and Lady Tamayo, how the reader wishes them all the best but also just wants them. If there is even a sliver of chance for them to return their one-side love. If you feel like it, maybe they might have someone who is helping them move on from the one side love?

Get ready for this to hurt.

And if you’re in love, then you are the lucky one.

FT. Yushiro, Kanroji Mitsuri, Iguro Obanai, and Lady Tamayo. Gender Neutral reader.

WARNINGS: Angsty as hell. I drew the title from the song Youth by Daughter. Some reciprocation in Obanai’s. I also hope I did Yushiro justice. I’ve never written for him before. Um pretty emotional overall. Don’t forget to put on your sad music while reading this. These are going to be pretty long. Some were very obviously cut short due to how long they were getting, for that, I apologize. Please bear with me 😭

YUSHIRO

Each day you awoke longing for a purpose, and every time the day failed you. It wasn’t until you caught wind of the Demon Slayer Corps that things finally started to look up. It seemed perfect. You’d undergo training and then participate in a simple survival event. Of course, it wasn’t as easy as it sounded. The training you underwent was harsh, and the final selection was even worse. Each time the sun set you feared for your life until you remembered that this was the challenge that you had been waiting for. You claimed it to be your calling, despite not being very good at it.

When it was all said and done, you picked the metal for your weapon and went about your business. There had only been one other person to make it out of the selection alive. You remember being surprised. How could so many people have trained so hard only to lose their lives? One would have thought that they would have been properly prepared before entering the challenge. Though, you were hardly prepared yourself. It was nothing but sheer luck that kept you alive, and you were more than grateful.

It wasn’t long before your crow had begun to send you all over to complete missions. Each demon you encountered seemed to be much stronger than the last, a thought that frightened you. With each one you killed, you felt yourself growing more powerful. Your breathing techniques were perfect, it was just your lack of physical strength that caused you to struggle. But you weren’t too worried about it. If you had been able to take down the ones before, then there was nothing stopping you from taking down the one now, right?

Right?

That’s what you thought when you chased the lower rank six of the Twelve Kizuki into a corner. You were sure that it had nowhere else to go, which would ensure that you’d be able to kill it and move on to the next place. You were sure that if your stance was just right, then you’d be able to land the perfect blow and come out victorious. But you were wrong.

The demon wasted no time freeing itself of your presence before appearing behind you suddenly. Your heart had dropped, leaving you with nothing to do but hope that a fellow demon slayer would sense your distress and come to your aid. Unfortunately, that was not the case.

The foul beast beat you within an inch of your life, leaving you to drown in your own blood. You cried as you lay there, unable to move. Your life had been short, but you were willing to accept it as it was and move on to the next one. Everything faded to black slowly, and you heard the sound of oxides speaking over you as you lost consciousness. You recalled smiling at the sound. They sounded like angels.

Approximately three days later, you awoke. You didn’t recognize the room you were in, which put you in edge. Bandages covered numerous wounds scattered across your body, an observation that led to you noticing your uniform top was missing. Thankfully you still had the bottoms on, or else you would’ve felt incredibly uncomfortable. You groaned in pain as you sat up. Your head was spinning.

“We thought you wouldn’t make it.” A gentle, feminine voice spoke. You turned to look at the speaker, your eyes landing on the most beautiful woman you had ever seen. Her skin was pale and glossy, her eyes an alluring shade of purple. She was elegant. She was an angel. Behind her stood a slightly shorter man. While he too was beautiful, you noticed that he looked far from pleased at your survival. The woman saw you avert your gaze and followed it, giving the man a stern look before turning back to you. “You may call me Tamayo,” she paused, “and he is Yushiro. Would you mind telling us about yourself, demon slayer?”

“How do you know I’m a…” you trailed off and sighed. Of course. They must be demon slayers themselves if they recognized your uniform. “I don’t really have anything notable to say about myself. I joined the Demon Slayer Corps in hopes of being able to do something with my life. Before that it’s all mundane,” you frowned and swung your legs over the side of the bed. You winced as your feet hit the floor. If only you had died. You would’ve spared these people the trouble of looking after you. You met Tamayo’s gaze. “Are you affiliated with the Corps?”

She hesitated, stuttering slightly before simply smiling at you. “Why don’t you join us out here for some tea,” she suggested. Her response confused you, but you nodded nonetheless. She and Yushiro left, giving you some time to explore the room you were in. Your uniform top was folded neatly atop a nearby chair. You reached out and grabbed it. The thing must’ve been torn to shreds by that demon, seeing as there were many different colored patches decorating it. You sighed and slipped it on over your head.

Your body ached with each move you made, yet you persisted. Slowly, you made it out of the room and into the hallway. You followed the sounds of voices to an open room that appeared to be the main room. Tamayo had her hands folded neatly in her lap as she spoke to Yushiro, who had his legs crossed and his hands resting on his knees. He gave you a disgusted look before continuing his chat with Tamayo.

Hesitantly, you sat down with them, resting your legs neatly to the side. Tamayo turned to look at you before taking a deep breath. “You asked us if we were affiliated with the Corps in any way. To tell you the truth, we are. We know of them and they know of us.” Yushiro scoffed. “But we ourselves are not demon slayers. We are demons that exist freely of Muzan Kibutsuji’s control.” Your eyes widened. You had no clue that such a thing was possible. “We mean you no harm, truly. Our goals align with those of the Demon Slayer Corps.”

She gave you a second to process the information. You had so many questions, but you feared being rude. Sensing this, she gestured for you to go on. “How did you break free of his curse?” You were immediately answered by an annoyed sigh from Yushiro.

“Such a foolish question! Do not ask Lady Tamayo such things!” He glared at you.

“Yushiro. It is only right for them to ask questions. Don’t shun them,” she paused, mulling over her next words. “I spent many years trying to free myself of Muzan’s control. But it wasn’t until I was spared by a very kind man that I was freed. Since then, I have dedicated my life to the study of both demon and human biology,” she hung her head slightly, averting her gaze. You could tell by her tone that she was thankful to have been spared. It nearly brought tears to your eyes.

“What about Yushiro? Was he not a servant of Muzan too?” You asked slowly, tilting your head. Yushiro crossed his arms and looked away, biting his tongue to avoid making Tamayo upset.

“Ah… Yushiro. He had a chronic illness that kept him bedridden for years. His condition would worsen each day I was taking care of him. He was practically dying before my eyes. I gave him the choice to go on living that way, or to be cured and live longer as a demon. There weren’t any promises I could make him about the treatment’s effectiveness, but I couldn’t bear to watch him suffer.” You listened in awe. She was so sweet, and you thought that it was the most amazing thing.

“So you…” were a human. You looked at Yushiro. These two beings before you had rejected their existences as demons and chose to aid humans instead. It really was quite wonderful. “You two… are amazing.” Tamayo’s eyes widened at your words. She seems taken aback by your honesty. Yushiro seemed equally as stunned, his eyes briefly looking over at you. After all, it was rare that they weren’t treated like the monsters that they were.

“Why… thank you.” Tamayo smiled softly, a light hearted expression gracing her features.

Over time you began to heal. The everlasting soreness in your body had finally begun to fade, which allowed you to help out around the house. Tamayo had gone out and bought you a casual yukata so you wouldn’t constantly be in your uniform. You wore it whenever it was clean to show her how much you appreciated it. Oh she was so sweet to you. Yushiro too. Since the time you had first joined them, he had really warmed up to your being there.

The two of you would often go out together and pick herbs for Tamayo. He knew all of the right places to look, and how to tell if what he was looking for was ripe or not. You admired his knowledge on the topic, often remarking on his experience when you were out. Every now and then he’d show you what you should look for, but you were mainly just there to provide some form of protection if the need arose. Not that you didn’t think he was capable of protecting himself— it’s just that Tamayo stated that it would be better if you went out and kept watch for him.

This time was just like the last, but only in the sense that you were on the lookout for other demons while he was working. It seemed that recently your feelings toward him had changed. He had grown close enough to you to tell you about his feelings for Tamayo, and you had grown close enough to him to realize that you had fallen for him. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. It just made things a little awkward for you.

“Here. Hold this,” he huffed as he shoved an armful of the plants into your arms. “Lady Tamayo said that she needed a lot this time,” he mumbled to himself. You nodded with a sigh. He admired her so much, and she only saw him as a friend. It was comical when you didn’t think about the pain that it caused him. In many ways, you and him were similar. But you knew he didn’t want to compare himself to a mortal being such as yourself.

“What else did she say she needed?” You asked, peering over the heap of herbs in your arms to look at him. He had frozen in place, his eyes narrowed. “What is it?” You whispered, now on edge. Instinctively, you reached out for your sword, dropping the herbs in the process.

In the blink of an eye, Yushiro pushed you to the side and blocked an attack from the demon that he had assumed was following you through the forest. He groaned as he fought it off, wincing at the relentless assault. You quickly rose to your feet, katana in hand, and leaped at the monster. You managed to cut its head off with one swift movement.

“Are you alright?” He asked, quickly turning to look at you. His hands grasped your cheeks, moving your face around to see if you were hurt in any way. The action caused your face to flush. Yushiro noticed that your face had gotten slightly warmer, taking his hands away and giving you a confused look before turning and picking up the herbs.

“Can I… tell you something?” You asked slowly, attempting to aid him. He moved away from you and muttered a sharp ‘no’.

The walk home was spent in awkward silence. Maybe he’d realized how you felt about him. Maybe not. You weren’t sure, and it bothered you horribly. He kept his distance from you, his head turned so he wouldn’t have an opportunity to glance at you. It broke your heart. In such a short amount of time, he had begun to mean everything to you, and yet, you were nothing. He’d push you to the side and focus on Tamayo, you were sure.

And you were right. In the days following that little incident, he avoided you. He went out by himself everywhere and hardly spoke to you when he passed by. It pained you more than you had thought, seeing as Tamayo could sense your hurt. She sighed as she stood outside of your room. Emotions to her were like a wavelength that she could visualize. What you were feeling was strong enough to suffocate her. It only made her worry about you.

“Can I come in?” She asked slowly, knocking gently on the door. You mumbled a response and she walked in. “Is everything between you and Yushiro alright?” She sat down next to you on your bed, her concerned eyes meeting yours.

“Yeah. Everything’s fine. We just ran into a demon the other day, so it’s got him shaken,” you frowned, turning your head away from her. You could feel your lip quiver. Just thinking about it made your heart ache. After a few more seconds of sitting there, you sighed. There was a possibility that she could help you through your emotions. You turned back to face her, your tone slightly wistful. “I think I love him, Tamayo. There’s no realistic way for me to tell him or even be with him because he’s not human, but I feel so strongly for him in a way that I’ve never felt about anyone before…” you hung your head.

“I see…” she trailed off. There wasn’t really any form of advice she could offer you and she felt bad. “Don’t fault him for not knowing his emotions well enough to properly respond. He may not fully come around, but he will want to start being around you again,” she placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Just give it time.” You nodded, biting the inside of your cheek as you thought.

Just give it time.

But you didn’t have the time he did. You were doomed to die much sooner than he could ever dream of.

Tamayo left you alone with your thoughts. Of course you wanted to listen to her, but you knew it would be best if you didn’t. There was no sense in waiting when he had his heart set on Tamayo. And that hurt you more than anything. You laid back onto your bed, frowning.

Just give it time.

MITSURI

For years you had been a hashira alongside Mitsuri. Rengoku had trained you both when you joined the corps, but even then you had known her prior to serving in the corps. The whole reason you became a demon slayer was because she wanted to. She just didn’t want to go through it alone, which was fair. While Rengoku had taught you his breathing technique, neither you nor Mitsuri had resonated strongly with it. You made the choice to invent your own technique called ‘ice breathing,’ and she followed suit. Together, you made your way up the ranks and became hashiras.

It seemed that you did everything together.

If she were assigned a mission, she’d drag you along with her. If she wanted to go out to town, then she’d ask you if you wanted to go. Even your estates were in the same village. You really just couldn’t escape her.

It didn’t bother you much though. She was your friend, after all.

But you couldn’t help but want more. You had wanted more with her for such a long time you felt you were beginning to lose your mind.

There had been many times where you had gotten her alone to confess, but each time was interrupted by her crow calling her out to take care of something. Each of the hashira could see that you had fallen for Mitsuri, with the exception of Obanai. He had steered clear of everyone as soon as he gained the title of hashira. You on the other hand, had not. Tengen had been a good friend of yours outside of Mitsuri.

Actually, he had been the one talking you through the whole process. He claimed that since he had three wives, he was the right guy to ask. Because of this, you found yourself in many odd situations in the name of love. Unfortunately, Mitsuri just didn’t notice. She had always been told that she was undesirable because of her appearance, and yet, she was the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen.

You had a plan this time. A plan that was slightly guaranteed to work. Even if it didn’t work in your favor, it’d still work. You’d get her alone under the stars and propose. Yes, propose. Marriage amongst hashira wasn’t really accepted, due to the circumstances of the title, but no one had to know. As long as you had her you’d be happy.

“So what’re you going to do when you get her alone?” Tengen asked, attempting to lift up your spirits. He’d promised to keep the whole thing a secret, which you’d greatly appreciated. You couldn’t have been more thankful for his help. Especially now that you were so in need of it.

“I’m going to take her hands, look into her eyes and tell her how I feel!” You nodded, your expression serious. All of this seemed rather silly, but his enthusiasm was making you feel better.

“That’s right! And what’s she going to do?” He wrapped a large, beefy arm around your shoulder, pulling you close to him with a grin. You chuckled and pushed him away.

“Yes!” You paused, looking away in embarrassment. “This feels stupid,” you sighed, shaking your head. “Why are we doing this again?”

“We’re doing this so you won’t back out at the last minute,” he raised a brow as he looked at you. His hands landed on his hips. Why was this grown man full of such sassiness? You rolled your eyes.

“I’m not going to back out!” You argued, but to no avail. Tengen mocked you with his hand, a smirk growing on his lips.

“I mean, if it doesn’t work out you can always marry me,” the taller man spit out nonchalantly. His words caused you to choke on air. You gave him a look, feigning disgust as you stared at him.

“Yeah no, I’ll pass,” you shuddered at the thought.

“I’m just saying.”

You sighed once more, looking out at the scenery. The sun was beginning to set, which meant that you would soon be alone with Mitsuri. The thought both scared and excited you. After all, you’d finally get the chance to tell her a secret that you’ve kept for so long. Even if she didn’t feel the same, at least you’d get the satisfaction that came with finally having your question answered.

The stars shined brightly overhead, perfectly visible from the tree you had chosen to sit under. Mitsuri would be arriving any moment now. Any moment. Your heart rate only increased as the seconds passed. Tonight was different from all of your other attempts, but only in the sense that you were asking to be bound to her forever. Well, either way you’d be with her, but you wanted to be with her.

“There you are!” Your friend cheerily called out, grinning as she sat next to you. “I’m so sorry I was late! Iguro gifted me these pretty green socks and treated me to some sweets afterward! They were the most delicious sweets I’d ever had!” She giggled gleefully at the thought. “Oh if only you had been there! Did you know that Iguro is actually a sweetie? Oh he’s such a sweetie! And he’s cute, too! I had to refrain from blushing the whole time, it was so embarrassing!” She continued to giggle, trailing off when she remembered that it was you that had asked her to join you. Her face flushed and she looked up at the sky. “So how come you wanted to hang out all the way out here?”

You swallowed, hanging your head in shame. Of course. Obanai. Your heart ached as you sat next to her. She had said he was cute, but that didn’t mean anything, did it? She said that about everyone she liked. Your hands clutched your slayer uniform. This was foolish of you. There was no way you had thought that you stood a chance at getting with Mitsuri. It was almost laughable. You had no idea how Tengen entertained the idea for so long.

“Hello…?” She leaned forward and waved her hand in front of your face. The motion pulled you from your thoughts, causing you to jump slightly. “Ah! There’s my friend! I was starting to think I’d lost you!” She smiled widely and giggled once again.

“My apologies,” you forced a nervous chuckle, your face flushing a light shade of pink. Thankfully she didn’t notice. “I didn’t mean to zone out on you.” Your heart pounded. You needed to leave as soon as possible. You couldn’t bear to be around her in this moment. It was hurting you. “I actually had something I wanted to talk to you about—“

“Caw! Head west to the nearest town! Caw! Get moving! Get moving!” Mitsuri’s crow called out. Its raspy voice ruined the moment entirely, making you frown. Your friend rose to her feet quickly, giving you a sympathetic look.

“Would you like to join me?” She asked sweetly, but you declined. “Alright! I’m going to go find Iguro and see if he wants to go! I’ll see you later, friend!” You waved, giving her a soft smile as she ran off. As soon as she was no longer in your line of sight, you ran to find Tengen. He’d promised you that he’d stay in the area for your sake, a promise that you really hadn’t expected to see through.

You ran, your breathing heavy and your heart heavier. You cursed yourself mentally for being so stupid. Actually, you were mid swear when Tengen stumbled upon you.

“Woah there! I’m guessing that things didn’t go well?” You shot him a glare before simply breaking down. He took a step back, unsure of how to handle the situation. Of course he’s comforted people before, but that didn’t mean that things like this didn’t catch him off guard. After a few seconds of watching you cry in silence, he stepped forward and hugged you. In all actuality, he had thought that you had this in the bag. He really saw no reason as to why you wouldn’t.

You never really explained things to him until the next day, which even then you were reluctant to do. Of course he had told you that you should go out for it again, but you disagreed. Obanai made her giddy in a way that you felt you couldn’t, so you saw no point in competing.

Things would be easier if you just stayed her friend.

OBANAI

Days turned into weeks that turned into months. Soon those months would turn into years. You had been staying at the home of Shinobu Kocho for ages now due to an injury you had received while you were away on a mission. The demon had nearly taken off your arm, breaking several of your bones in the process. Thankfully, you were able to kill if before it could kill you, but it resulted in you calling for aid.

Only a handful of your fellow demon slayers had set aside time to visit you, including your close friend and fellow hashira Gyomei. Each time he visited you he wound up sobbing, praising you for your resilience and bravery. He cared a lot for you, and your recent incident had caused him to worry about you more than usual. He had even set aside missions to help Shinobu take care of you. He was a true friend.

Aside from him, only one other hashira had come to visit you. Iguro Obanai.

Obanai was someone that you didn’t really know all too well, despite both reaching the rank of hashira at the same time. You had always been friendly with him, of course, but it never really went farther than that. You thought of him as alluring and slightly mysterious. His silence intrigued you, as did his mask and his snake. He was an enigma in your eyes.

With your curiosity arose some issues. The deeper you dove into his history, the more you found yourself longing to get to know him. You couldn’t even think about him normally without getting slightly flustered, which upset you. After all, your feelings towards him were rooted in your curiosity, nothing more.

“How are you doing today, my friend?” Gyomei’s voice met your ears. He ducked as he entered the room, walking over and sitting on the chair next to your bed.

“Not too bad, actually,” you grinned, “I was able to walk around the corridor earlier! You should’ve been there! I didn’t even need help standing!” You chuckled softly and Gyomei smiled softly. Tears began to slide down his cheeks as he faced you.

“You are so strong! I’m so happy for you!” He clasped his hands together, tilting his head back dramatically. You rolled your eyes, smiling. “I hope that you continue to do well!” Your smile only grew at his enthusiasm. He was sweet, that was for sure.

“Gyomei, I’ve got a question for you,” you asked slowly, waiting for him to calm down some.

“What is it, dear friend?”

You shifted in your bed, suddenly feeling nervous. “What do you know about Obanai? I know it’s odd, but I can’t help but be curious. I don’t really know too much about him. Though, now that I think about it, you probably don’t either. He doesn’t talk much,” you sigh, chuckling softly. He was confusing, that much was true.

“I know only what I’ve been told,” your friend paused, “which is very little. I’m apologize, friend,” he rose to his feet, his hands still clasped together. “I will make time to visit you again next week. I cannot wait to see how much better you are doing then!” He smiled once more before leaving.

Your time alone was brief. The door closed, only to open again, revealing the man that you had just asked about. All you could do was offer him a smile. He walked forward some and sat, looking at you for a few seconds before audibly taking a deep breath.

“How are you?” He asked bluntly. The snake around his neck eyed you, its tongue reaching in your direction.

“I’m just as good as I was yesterday,” you tease but he doesn’t react. Talking to him is like talking to a rock. “They had me walking down the hallway earlier, which means that I should be doing more by the end of the week, though, it just depends on what Shinobu has to say about my condition.” You smiled. He was really good at getting you to ramble so he could avoid conversation. You found it funny, in a way. He’d rather listen to you speak than have to talk.

“Here, I brought you this,” he reached forward, revealing a brand new haori. You gasped at the sight. It looked just like the one you had lost when you got injured. Grinning, you took it from his hands and held it in the air to get a better look. Its resemblance to your old one was impressive. You hugged it and giggled.

“How did you get this?” You look up at him. His face looks slightly flushed, but you think nothing of it.

“I heard that you didn’t have your old one anymore. I know a seamstress in the town over, so I commissioned her to make you a new one.” He wasn’t about to tell you that he had memorized the patterns from observing you so often. No, that sounded weird. He was hoping that you wouldn’t question him any further.

“Thank you, Obanai. I really appreciate your gift.” You looked down at the haori, playing with the fabric between your fingers. Hopefully you’d be able to wear it soon.

After that, Obanai began to miss days. Once he had come in with Mitsuri, which hurt you to see. They looked happy together, so you couldn’t really be too upset, but it did bother you some. Each time he stopped by, he seemed to be less talkative than before, which you didn’t know could happen. With each day he missed, you seemed to be getting better. Within a week, you were able to go out on small missions in the nearest town. A few days after that, you were finally back to your regular routine.

Shinobu had discharged you from her infirmary, which meant that you finally got to return to your own estate. With everything going on, you had yet to stop and check in with Gyomei. You felt bad about it, but you couldn’t just skip out on these missions. There had been so much in your area that you hadn’t been able to take care of, and you needed to get to work on it.

“Caw! Head east, head east! Caw!” Your crow’s cries echoed into the air. Its shrill voice never failed to make you cringe. “Dangerous! Backup will be there! Caw!” You sighed and continued on. Hopefully it would be Gyomei.

You reached the area, looking out at the dark forest that threatened you. You couldn’t help but wonder what had hidden itself in there that was considered dangerous enough for you, a hashira, to need backup.

The sound of footsteps caused you to draw your blade, pointing its edge at the culprit. Obanai didn’t even jump, looking at you with his hetrochromatic eyes. He seemed surprised to see you already out in the field, wearing the haori he got you, no less. His face flushed slightly and he pushed past you, hoping you didn’t notice.

“Sorry about that. I’m a little on edge,” you admitted, sheathing your blade and catching up to him. “I didn’t know you were in the area.”

“Pure coincidence.”

“Right…” you eyed him before nodding. “So how’s everything back at the headquarters? I know you live relatively close to it. How are the others?”

“They’re all fine.”

“Gyomei too?”

“Gyomei too.” His tone got slightly more bitter at the mention of Gyomei, something that nearly went over your head. You froze, giving him a confused look.

“Do you not like Gyomei?” You tilted your head, your brows furrowing.

“I find him to be very respectable.” He paused. “… how do you feel about Mitsuri?” His question only confused you more.

“She’s a great slayer, and really sweet. I like her,” you caught up to him once again. “Why…?”

“Are you and Gyomei engaged?” He blurted out, turning to look at you. You were caught so off guard by his gaze that you took a step back.

“Of course not! He and I are just close friends! I thought everyone knew that.” Well clearly not everyone knew that. You cleared your throat, looking out around you for any signs of danger. Weird. You weren’t sensing anything. “What’s all of this about?”

“Nothing, I—“ he cut himself off, continuing on with his walk. He stopped again and turned back to face you. “Mitsuri and I aren’t engaged either.”

He turned back around, not wasting any time heading deeper into the forest. Your body was frozen in confusion. That whole interaction was weird. You shook it off and ran after him.

You couldn’t help but feel better now that you knew about him and Mitsuri, though. Yes it was weird, but it had bothered you since he had stopped coming around. Truth be told, you had fallen for him not long after he had begun his daily visits. The fact that he cared enough to give you his attention daily made you feel like you were special, and you liked that. Who wouldn’t?

Once he came back into sight, you slowed down, making sure he was aware that it was you instead of a demon. You rested your hand on the hilt of your katana, following him in silence. That’s how the rest of the mission was spent, in silence. The two of you never really found the supposed dangerous demon, but you didn’t mind. At least now you could rest easy knowing that you stood a slight chance with your fellow hashira.

LADY TAMAYO

For as long as you could remember, you had been under the care of Lady Tamayo and her assistant Yushiro. Your life prior to joining them was a memory that eluded you. No matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t remember how you had met them. They had tried to explain it all to you before, but it never made sense. Demons? Demon slayers? It all sounded like a fairy tale.

Tamayo had entrusted you with taking care of the garden out behind the house, a duty you had accepted happily. You enjoyed watering the various herbs. Their lives were just as valuable as yours, and you made sure to treat them with as much tenderness as you could.

Every now and then Tamayo would come and help you, but that was rare. She usually spent her time inside, studying away at human biology. It interested you some, but you knew better than to interrupt her.

When Tamayo wasn’t available, you’d spend your time with Yushiro. He never really got a say in the matter, but thankfully he had learned to stop protesting a while ago. The two of you were walking down the streets of the town the house was hidden in. Despite it being late, there were many vendors that were still open. Their resilience intrigued you. You reached out and tugged on Yushiro’s sleeve, smiling softly.

“Do you think that Lady Tamayo would like this?” You asked, holding up an intricate painting of a woman looking at the moon. Yushiro looked at it, his eyes widening slightly. He was impressed by the strokes on the canvas. Tamayo was fond of art, so of course she would like it, but Yushiro didn’t want her to favor you more than she did him. He crossed his arms.

“Get it. But make sure to tell her that I helped you pick it out,” he said stubbornly before turning to walk once more.

Eagerly, you bought the painting, carrying it under your arm as you followed Yushiro. He stopped suddenly, holding his head in his hand. You recognized this behavior, grabbing his shoulder and leading him off to the side and sitting him down. He looked pale than usual, and you sighed.

“When was the last time you ate?” You asked, setting the painting to the side gently. The man only grunted in response, pouting as he avoided your concerned gaze.

“… last week…” he mumbled.

“Last week?! You know you’re not supposed to go that long without food!” You panicked and looked around. Nobody could see you. With a huff, you scooted towards him. “Listen, you can feed off of me just this once. It’s too risky to have you roaming the streets while starved,” you sighed, “you must’ve felt like you were going insane! Oh come here…” you pulled down the shoulder of your kimono, revealing more skin than you would’ve liked. Yushiro eyed you. The thought of eating even a bit of your flesh scared him. What if Tamayo found out? What would she think of him?

“Hurry up!” You whispered through your teeth, giving him a glare. He was taking way too long to make up his mind. Unfortunately, you didn’t have time. He sighed and leaned forward, taking a bite out of your skin.

About five minutes later, the two of you returned to the town. He seemed to be in a better mood now, which was good. You just couldn’t believe that he was walking around while hungry like that. Things would’ve been bad if he had snapped.

“Hey Yushiro?”

“What?”

“Do you think Lady Tamayo likes anyone?” You asked as you readjusted the painting. It was random, but you couldn’t help but be curious. His cheeks flushed a rosy pink and he sighed.

“I don’t think so. She’s too focused on doing her duties to set aside time for things like romance,” he frowned slightly as he spoke.

“Hey Yushiro?”

“What?”

“I think I like Lady Tamayo.” Your words made him choke on nothing. He hadn’t expected that in the slightest.

“You and me both…” he mumbled, leading you back to the house.

Tamayo loved the painting, choosing to hang it at the end of the hallway. Every time she saw you she made sure to thank you for the thoughtful present. Her compliments made you giddy, usually causing your face to flush a little.

You felt that your feelings for her only got stronger with each day that passed. Hell, you couldn’t even think of her without getting butterflies in your stomach. It was beginning to get in the way of your work. On times she’d come out to the garden to help you, you wouldn’t be able to speak. You were sure that if you said something, you’d butcher it so badly that you’d have to ask Yushiro to end your misery.

You sighed as you pulled another weed from the ground near the garden. The herbs were looking great, despite it being their off season. The luscious green plants surrounded you. They were nearly big enough to hide you completely, and you took great pride in that fact.

“Hey, are you ready to go out? Lady Tamayo said that she needed some time alone for a while.” Yushiro’s voice caused you to perk up. You nodded and gave him a smile.

“Hold on! I need to change real quick!” You stood up and went inside to your room. It didn’t take you long before you were standing in front of Yushiro, asking him what the plan was for tonight.

“Let’s stay in town.”

“Alright.”

There weren’t as many shops open tonight, unfortunately, so you and Yushiro just took to heading towards the park in the middle of the town. It was a small park, but that didn’t stop it from being beautiful. You sighed as you sat down onto the grass. A part of you wished to find another gift for Tamayo, but your options were limited.

You looked up at the moon, taking in its glory in silence before turning back to your friend.

“Does your love for Lady Tamayo ever cause you pain?” You asked.

“Sometimes.”

“Sometimes?”

“Yeah.”

A part of you understood what he meant. Sometimes she was so beautiful that it caused your heart to throb in agony. Maybe it was because you knew that she would never be yours. Either way, your giddy love for her was beginning to torment your weary soul. You didn’t enjoy being around her simply due to the fact that her sweet words wouldn’t fail to cause you some sort of pain.

“Yeah…” you repeated, sighing once more.

136 notes · View notes

4dkellysworld · 24 days ago

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hi kelly, i hope you’re doing well! i just wanted to share an observation i’ve had along this path:

everything always works out fine. like, always. things have happened before that were the opposite of what my character anticipated/desired, and at times it would completely throw me and i’d spiral, but eventually i’d realise my (as in my character’s) complete lack of control over the situation and i’d let it be. i’d let all the crap unfold however it wanted to. and every single time… it turned out fine. i clung to and ruminated over some of my biggest fears/"worst case scenarios" until i literally spoke them into existence (unintentionally, of course, and i definitely recommend you work on that habit if that sounds like something you do lol). each time, i panicked, felt devastated, questioned my abilities, blamed myself for "manifesting" it… until the emotion just exhausted me and i got bored of it. and then somehow i got through it. there was always a resolution. everything always turned out fine.

i don’t mean for this to sound like a manifestation related submission, but i thought it could reassure others to realise that Self truly is orchestrating it all. and you are that Self. it is just you. so even if the complete opposite of what you (character) want happens, even if it feels like it’s all gone wrong, just. let. it. happen. let life do its worst. in fact, lean in to the feelings. don’t fight them. that doesn’t mean marinate in them and prolong them and wallow in them, but let them wash over you until you feel defeated and give up resisting them. every single time, it’ll work out. trust me. trust Self. it literally reminds me of that song "let it all work out~~~" because seriously… LET IT… trust that it will because it ALWAYS will.

also, this is not any sort of technique. again, just an observation. like, it’s just kind of… life. lol. and the more i’ve gone through this, the more trust i’ve built in the process. so now when something happens that is not my preference (what i once desired is now not even that deep to me, so it only feels right to call it a preference instead, because it’s no longer this burning, insatiable longing but more so just like a "ye that’d be nice😄"), i just giggle and say ok. like, genuinely. and each time, it resolves/undoes itself faster and faster. i was having money issues yesterday because i realised that a loan that i thought i was entitled to, i wasn’t. today, i received hundreds of £s from a totally unexpected source. and i’ve now been made aware that i’m entitled to these hundreds of £s every month indefinitely. when my money issues arose yesterday, i cried, got angry, felt afraid… then remembered every time something like this happens, the universe (just Self) always has my back. i still felt natural "ego" worries arise occasionally because i literally had no plan as to what to do, but i saw that my characters options were limited and that i’d simply do what i could to get by and that ultimately it’d be ok. the very next day, *boom*. fixed.

oh, and just to add: this isn’t me saying that you can’t have your perfect life. you can. i’m not saying things will forever go wrong, you can have everything you desire and life can be blissful for you, of course. once you know your Self undoubtedly, the way you know now so undoubtedly that you have hands, you’ll be able to control/materialise/revise anything. of course. but it’s seriously the most backwards thing because… the further you get to reaching that point (ironically, there is no point to reach anyway. YOU ARE LITERALLY ALREADY THAT RIGHT NOW)… the less you care about it. the idea of living as Lara instead of Vanessa (can you tell i’ve been around since the days when Ada was still active, bless her heart) is what drew me into this journey initially because i had failed with loa again and again, but now, truly… even if Lara is a "preference" it’s in a fun, free way. like, hell ye, why not experience her now i know that i can? and if i get bored, i’ll just switch it up again. but really, Vanessa, Lara… they’re both equally insignificant, little characters in a play. and i love them both. even Vanessa, for all her chaos and sadness and shortcomings, i love her. lol.

with more and more practice, with more and more recognition through your own experiences that Self truly orchestrates this whole thing and never ever leaves you (because it is you), it all starts to make more sense. my words won’t mean much if you don’t apply what you’ve learnt, but ye… just wanted to share anyway. :)

truly, thank you kelly for being here throughout the year to post the occasional remix or journal entry. you’re how i know everything is one, because you would always post exactly what i was experiencing just as i needed it. i hope life is beautiful and kind for you. i know you don’t need the gratitude or praise, but seriously thank you. 💜

This was such a delightful read, thanks so much for sharing! What you described are things I've been through too, and still am. Yesterday I was pondering over the answer I gave on "manifesting" as I said it's opposed to dropping ego and I realized the clear distinction between conventional "manifesting" and what you described is the involvement of ego. The first comes from a state of lack that involves ego effort while the second comes from a state of surrender/letting go to Self and involves dropping effort and attachment etc (and for masters, the "manifestation" is simply just a part of life, like when God "desires" to do something, it isn't a desire from lack but a choice/intention made from a place of wholeness and joy to experience itself). So I do think that "manifesting" practice can play a part in Self-realization but it's important to be wary of how much ego is involved in the practice.

And yess I also have realized how important trust is when letting go. When I let go and knew or trusted that it would be taken care of, it really was, time doesn't matter, I just trust it is already taken care of and handled by Self/God and doesn't need my involvement and then it is. Earlier in my journey, when I didn't have trust and let go, I got more mixed results. The great thing is trust in Self/God (I don't really like giving it any label because the mind starts creating all sorts of definitions to it which are obv false and limited but it's hard to point to otherwise lol) builds up as you trust more and it really just starts becoming an automatic thing that works for you. This is an excerpt from Friendship with God that describes it perfectly.

Neale: And we need nothing more for our evolution than exactly what we have, and are experiencing, right now. God: Once more, you are correct. Neale: And if we don’t need anything, we don’t have to trust God. God: That is what I have been saying, yes. Neale: And when we don't have to trust God, then we actually can. Because trust then means not having to have a particular result, but rather, knowing that whatever results is for our highest good. God: You have brought it full circle. Bravo! Neale: The beauty of this is that not needing a particular result frees the subconscious mind from all thoughts about why you can't have a particular result, which in turn opens the path to the particular result which was consciously intended. God: Yes! You are able to put more things on automatic. When you face a challenge, you automatically assume that things will go well. When you face some difficulty, you automatically know that it will be handled. When you encounter a problem, you automatically understand that it has already been solved for you—automatically. You have created these outcomes, subconsciously. Things start to happen automatically, seemingly without any effort on your part at all. Life starts working. Things start coming to you, rather than you having to chase after them. This change occurs without conscious effort. Just as negative, self-defeating, self-denying thoughts about Who You Really Are, and what you can be, do, and have, were acquired subconsciously, so, too, are they released subconsciously. You don’t know how or when you picked up such ideas, and you won’t know how or when you dropped them. Life will simply and suddenly change for you. The time between your thinking a thought consciously and it being made manifest in your reality will begin to shrink. Ultimately, it will disappear altogether, and you will create results instantly.

I was initially drawn to this journey for the same reasons too (wanting to experience Lara) and it's more like I've gotten to the point where it's really not that important because it's really just the same even if it looks a little different. Everything is perfectly imperfect or imperfectly perfect lol. It's all Life, all of it.

And it's great you mentioned the emotions part because it's not something to fear or fight, it is a natural part of the experience of ego so they will come up, it's just a matter of having awareness of this and letting it be (or letting it go) and not feeding into it or getting lost in it (mentioning this as I think it's a common misconception that doing it 'right' on this journey means having a completely peaceful mind all the time with no emotions).

Lol I just realised my response is just going 'yes yes yes' to yours but really, my experience has been similar to what you described too. We truly are all One! I hope life is kind and beautiful to you too. It is for me now because that's how I choose to experience life now <3 (even when it seemingly is not, I just decide it is anyway because I'm not going to change my choice based on the everchanging dream)

#asks

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lovelyhan · 2 years ago

Text

— meet cute of the century (a teaser) ⟢

the last thing you expected when you volunteered at your city’s local animal shelter is to meet the hottest, clumsiest cat person in the world. now if only he’d just adopt one of them so you’d stop ogling him every time he drops by.

★ FEATURING; wonwoo x reader

★ WORD COUNT; 1.7k words

★ TAGS; meet cute, strangers to lovers, pining, some angst, smut (though this teaser is completely sfw!)

★ TAGS; mentions of accidents but it's not given much detail

★ NOTES; i'm back with my low quality wonwoo bf pics for my teaser headers hehe i am soooo excited to write the rest for this! honestly didn't think the teaser would end up this long but here we are :3c little heads up that some parts of this teaser could change in the full story, but nothing major plot-wise will be taken out. hope you like it!

this is part of the doting on you! series.

There are a handful of things that a college student can do with their free time. Studying, hanging out with friends, and maybe even picking up a hobby of sorts. You, on the other hand, use up all the hours you’re not spending on your undergrad thesis or sleeping the day away at an animal shelter just a few minutes away from your apartment.

Your friends constantly wonder how you’re still able to maintain a remarkable GPA with a part-time job that’s starting to look full-time, but you just laugh their questions off for the most part��saying that other people have got it worse than you, but can still perform leagues better academically.

You also tell them that most of your motivation comes from all the unadopted animals from the shelter. You started as a volunteer just to kill time on weekends when you’re free, but even if you knew better than to get attached to all those adorable faces, you eventually found yourself on the part-time employee roster anyways.

Now you’re rushing to finish your degree so you can get a neat sugar mommy job that’ll let you afford to adopt everyone that’s been stuck in the shelter for nearly a year or more.

Okay, maybe not everyone because you’re no fool with a savior complex. But just enough to give a few furry friends a new home, right?

“Don’t look now,” your coworker, Mari whispers conspiratorially while you’re in the middle of snacking in the break room, “but that cutie you’ve been crushing on just walked inside. He’s checking out the cats out in the playroom as usual.”

Right. Apart from your altruistic dream of adopting as many animals as your financial capabilities can allow, there’s another reason you’re always looking forward to your shifts at the shelter. A reason that you’re a bit too embarrassed to let your friends know about.

You nearly choke on a potato chip when Mari breaks the news and she immediately laughs in your face. Glaring at her, you compose yourself with a long gulp of water before saying, “I do not have a crush on him.”

“Sure,” she plays along. “If you consider making googly eyes at the guy every time he drops by as ‘not having a crush on him’, then I’ll concur.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t, sweetheart. Now get out there and sweet talk him into take one of the kittens home! Pretty sure he wants one if he’s been showing up as much as he did for the last two months.”

While you would’ve argued that the so-called cutie you’ve been crushing on could just like seeing the cats play around in his free time, you don’t really have much energy to play mental gymnastics with Mari. You’ve had a long day of revisions and other nonsense materials you have to submit for your majors, so you’ll let this one slide.

Your workplace is as bleak as every other shelter you’ve seen a few times in your life. Gray walls, concrete floors, and steel cages stacked on top of each other. It looks more like a prison than anything, really, but it’s the staff and those kind-hearted souls who rehome animals that have long been abandoned that give the entire place some life.

While Mister Cutie That You’ve Been Quote-Unquote Crushing On doesn’t exactly fall into either of those categories, you like to think he still leaves the building just a touch colorful once he walks out of the front door.

Speaking of color, he’s wearing a loose, dark green shirt that falls just below his elbows. Cutie—as you’ve deigned to call him not because you think he’s cute but because you’re yet to get his name—has one palm flattened across the viewing glass of the playroom. He’s wearing his usual black face mask today, but from the way his eyes glint behind his glasses, you’re just going to assume he’s having a good time just by watching the cats frolic inside.

“You’re here pretty late,” you state nonchalantly before standing a few feet away from him.

“Is that so strange?” he murmurs with a chuckle, surprisingly not startled with your sudden entrance before glancing your way. “I always show up here at this hour, don’t I?”

God. No matter how many times you hear his voice, you just can’t get over how deep it is. But before any of your thoughts could show on your face, you get talking.

“True. You’ve sparked a debate among the volunteers about your line of work, actually.” Not exactly. You’re not sure if any of the volunteers have even seen this guy, since they mostly work day shifts. “Anyway, are you just here to check ‘em out or am I finally going to hand you the adoption papers?”

His eyes crinkle a bit before he shifts his gaze towards the playroom again. Most of the older cats have already been put back in their respective cages. All that’s left inside are the kittens with way too much energy to spare. The director, A.K.A., your boss, believes that it’s best to tire them out first before settling them into individual enclosures for the night. Keeps the place nice and quiet for the evening shift fellows like yourself.

“Not yet, sadly,” Cutie says with a sigh before pointing at one of the kittens huddled up in a corner. “That one’s new, isn’t it? I don’t think I’ve seen him around before.”

“Her,” you correct. “Her name’s Hani. She’s a stray that someone from the university I’m attending brought in last week. It was pretty ugly, actually. Poor thing got into an accident and was bleeding everywhere. Good thing our usual vet was paying a visit when they came here.”

“Oh? That’s a relief then. No wonder she’s got a little limp every time she walks around,” he observes with a saddened tone. “But I digress. You mentioned you were attending university?”

…Okay, why’d the topic of interest suddenly shift to you?

But since it’s a harmless enough question, you reply with, “Yeah. The one that’s just a few blocks away. It’s kinda why the person who found Hani brought her here instead of a vet clinic. The nearest one’s like half an hour away.”

“Good call, good call.” He nods with a look of understanding. “I hope someone comes and adopts her. She deserves all the love she can get. Well, everyone here does of course.”

You flash him a conniving smile, raising your brows a few times. “You could give that to her.”

Cutie shakes his head with another low-pitched laugh. “As much as I’d love to, my…living conditions won’t be suitable for her at all. Or any of the other animals for the matter.”

“Hm?” You stare at him curiously. “Your landlord doesn’t allow pets or something?”

“Mmm… Not exactly.”

The conversation pretty much ends there. Cutie excuses himself—saying that someone is waiting for him at home. You don’t know why your heart deflates a little at the very real possibility that he has a significant other. Then again, if you’re this whipped when you haven’t even seen his face, you could only imagine how easy it would be for him to settle down with someone who has.

Either way, it’s none of your business. And correction: you’re not whipped. Just…hyper aware of his presence every time he stops by.

Despite the fact that you’re dead-set on filing away this strange fascination you have for the guy, however…

“Wait!”

Cutie turns around to face you with an inquisitive look. “Yes?”

You swallow thickly, deciding to just bite the bullet before your nerves get the best of you. “What’s your name? I can’t keep calling you Cu—I mean, Glasses Guy in my head whenever you pay us a visit.”

He blinks for a few seconds, obviously nonplussed by your forwardness but you don’t think your pride can take it anymore if you had to refer to him as—

“You can call me Woo,” he says warmly and you can almost see the smile that stretches behind that black face mask.

Shit. Did your heart just stutter?

“Mister Woo—”

“Just Woo is fine.”

“Okay, Woo,” you start, kind of liking the way that something that’s obviously a nickname rolls off the tongue, “just let me know if you ever want to take Hani home. We’re open twenty four-seven, as you already know.”

He nods. “Sure thing. Is it okay if I can get your number for that?”

Now you have to fight the urge to scowl at him after he’s been so nice to you all night—and every other night he’s dropped by.

This guy isn’t flirting with you. He said it himself—someone’s waiting for him at home! Plus, he’s expressed consistent interest in adopting a kitten for himself a handful of times before. Maybe he just connected with Hani on a level that’s above the others. Enough to ask for your number since the possibility of him bringing one of these angels home is becoming more and more real.

Yeah, that’s definitely the reason!

So you give it to him—hastily scrawled behind an old flier gathering dust in one of the drawers on the front desk. It’s way too big to write just yours and the shelter’s contact details on, but the other calling cards are nowhere in sight. You’ll have to ask Mari if she’s seen them once—

“Thanks. I’ll keep in touch,” Woo tells you while folding the sheet of paper into a sleek black Louis Vuitton wallet.

Wait a minute.

Before you can even seriously ponder about what job he’s got to be able to afford that, Woo is already out of the door—heading into the evening streets without once looking back.

“Gosh, I swear that guy’s an idol in disguise or something.”

That’s the first thing that Mari tells you when you find her doing a few rounds among the sleeping dogs in the far back. You haven’t even spoken a single word about your most recent exchange.

“What makes you think that?”

“He just exudes idol vibes, y’know? Shows up here when the place is deserted. Always acts subtle and inconspicuous. Oh and not to mention how hot he looks even with a face mask on! He could be that one idol your little sister is crazy about.”

You roll your eyes at her odd ways of deduction. “Mari, I’ve seen enough of Haewon’s Mingyu merch to last a lifetime and Woo definitely does not look like him.”

“Oh?” Your coworker perks up with a mischievous smile. “You finally got his name, huh?”

God. This is going to be a long shift.

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#svthub #seventeen smut #wonwoo smut #wonwoo fanfic #seventeen fanfic #wonwoo x reader #seventeen x reader #lovelyhan

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