#and i want more reasons to kill john winchester with my bare hands

[fuckspn]

sam told john "you did your best" and i whisper-screamed into the void of my empty apartment NO HE DIDN'T

[bamby0304]

Her Saviours- Ch.34

Series Masterlist

Summary: During an odd case, the Winchesters came across Y/N, a scared young Omega girl who had been used as a lure for a nest of vampires. After rescuing her from the monsters, John and his sons took her in knowing she was in no state to live among ordinary people. But three Alphas and one Omega is a mixture bound for disaster.

Warnings: Explicit language. ABO dynamics. Angst. Violence.

Bamby

Coming to, you found yourself tied up to one of the foundation pillars. Sam was to your right, with Dean on his right. Meg was crouching in front of the three of you, watching, waiting with a smirk placed firmly on her face.

Sam grunted and gasped, waking up moments after you.

“Hey, Sam?” Dean started. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but your girlfriend...is a bitch.”

You snarled at Meg which just made her smirk grow.

Sam ignored you all, though, as he focused on Meg, his mind ticking as the pieces fell into place. “This, the whole thing, was a trap. Running into you at the bar, following you here, hearin’ what you had to say. It was all a set-up, wasn’t it? And that the victims were from Lawrence?”

She chuckled. “It doesn’t mean anything. It was just to draw you in, that’s all.”

“You killed those two people for nothin’,” Sam spat.

“Baby, I’ve killed a lot more for a lot less.”

“You trapped us. Good for you. It’s Miller time.” Dean shrugged. “But why don’t you kill us already?”

Meg rolled her eyes. “Not very quick on the uptake, are we? This trap isn’t for you.”

The second the words left her lips you knew the truth.

“John.”

Her head snapped in your direction. “Clever girl.” She smiled.

“Oh, sweetheart, you’re dumber than you look,” Dean scoffed. “'Cause even if Dad was in town, which he is not, he wouldn’t walk into something like this. He’s too good.”

“He is pretty good. I’ll give you that.” She stood and walked over to him. You had to struggle against your binds to watch as she straddled him. “But you see, he has one weakness.”

“What’s that?” he asked, voice tense with repulsion.

“You,” she answered simply. “He lets his guard down around his boys, lets his emotions cloud his judgement.” She leaned in closer to him. “I happen to know he is in town. And he’ll come and try to save you. And then the Daevas will kill everybody… nice and slow and messy.”

Dean had all the faith in John, though. Nothing she said would scare him. “Well, I’ve got news for ya. It’s gonna take a lot more than some….shadow to kill him.”

“Oh, the Daevas are in the room here,” she countered. “They’re invisible. Their shadows are just the only part you can see.”

“Why you doin’ this, Meg? What kind of deal you got worked out here, huh? And with who?”

Meg turned to Sam to answer his question, her tone going from cocky to defensive quickly. “I’m doing this for the same reasons you do what you do… loyalty. Love.” She paused before her grin returned. “Like the love you had for Mummy… and Jess.”

“Go to hell,” he spat.

“Baby, I’m already there.” Crawling away from Dean, she moved over to Sam before sitting herself in his lap. “Come on, Sam. There’s no need to be nasty.” She leaned in to whisper in his ear, “I think we both know how you really feel about me.” Her body was pressed against his. “You know, I saw you watching me. Changing in my apartment. Turned you on, didn’t it?”

The rope that had you tied to the spot was cutting into your wrists as you struggled against them. You wanted to dig your teeth into her throat and rip it out. You wanted to tear her to shreds and wear her blood like war paint. You wanted to kill her with your bare hands and teeth, and not stop until she was turned to nothing.

“I didn’t mind,” she went on. “I liked that you were watching me. Come on, Sammy. You and I can still have a little dirty fun.”

You felt something primal snap in you as she began to grind against him. But what really got your blood pumping was when she started the nibble on his neck.

“You wanna have fun? Go ahead then. I’m a little tied up right now.” Sam’s voice was tight as he just sat there stiffly.

Slowly, he turned his head to catch your gaze. You held it as you continued to struggle against your binds. The stench of your rage was thick in the room. There was no doubt everyone could smell it.

The sound of something metallic clinking against the ground had everyone freeze.

Meg waited barely a second before she scurried over to Dean and snatched away the knife he’d been using to cut away at his ties. Then she slid back over to Sam, right back onto his lap.

“Now, were you just trying to distract me while your brother cuts free?”

Sam shook his head. “No. No.” She pulled back to watch him as he went on, “That’s because I have a knife of my own.”

Breaking free from his bins, Sam grabbed Meg and smashed his head into hers. She fell back with a heavy weight as he grunted and groaned in pain, clutching at his head.

“Sam!” Dean called out. “Get the altar.”

Fighting the pain and dizziness, Sam pulled himself to his feet and fumbled over to the altar as quickly as he could. Grabbing the table, he flipped it, sending the contents of the altar flying and falling.

The sound of screeches filled the room as shadows began to suddenly rush Meg. The three of you watched as she was dragged to the large windows before she was thrown through them.

Sam hurried over to Dean, handing him a spare knife before he moved to cut you free. The second you were able to move you ran over to the edge of the window and looked down. Lying there, on the ground in a mangled heap, was a now very dead Meg.

Dean and Sam came over to stand on either side of you, the youngest breaking the silence, “So, I guess the Daevas didn’t like being bossed-”

Before Sam could finish his sentence you grabbed his shirt and pulled him down to you. Crashing his lips onto yours, you devoured any words he’d been about to speak as you reclaimed him as your own.

When you finally let up and gave him the chance to pull away, Sam looked down at you with wide eyes.

“Mine,” was all you could say.

Dean shifted behind you, which had you spinning on your heels to grab his shirt to hold him in place.

“Mine,” you repeated.

With both brothers in your grasp, the Alphas nodded. “Yours,” they said at the same time.

Their confirmation allowed you to relax. Your grip on their shirts slipped as you felt the tension, stress and anxiety fade away.

“You okay?” Sam asked as he stepped closer to you, resting a hand on your shoulder.

Nodding, you found yourself lost for words.

Seeming to sense that, Dean placed a gentle hand on the small of your back. “Let’s get you back to the motel room.”

All you could do was nod again as you let the brothers lead you away, feeling security and comfort replace the negativity you’d been filled with moments ago.

…

One of Sam’s hands was in yours, while his other held the duffle bag of supplies. Dean was a couple steps ahead, pulling out the key to the hotel room out of his pocket.

You were more than eager for rest after the job’s events. The whole thing had been taxing on so many levels. More than just physical. So the idea of being able to rest up for the rest of the night before moving on sounded amazing.

“Why didn’t you just leave that stuff in the car?” Dean asked Sam as he started unlocking the room’s door.

Sam shrugged. “I said it before, and I’ll say it again. Better safe than sorry.”

As Dean opened the door, the three of you shuffled into the room, only to come to a sudden stop at the sight of a man standing by the window.

“Hey!” Dean yelled in an instant, out of instinct.

Your instincts were different, though. Using your free hand, you held it out in front of the older brother as your other hand held Sam back. “Guys… wait…”

The scent had hit you before you’d fully comprehended the thought of someone breaking into your hotel room. You knew he was there before you could even think of a whisper of there being a threat.

Sam dropped the duffle bag and reached for the light, turning it on to erase the darkness in the room and reveal who was standing in front of you.

John smiled at the three of you, proud and relieved.

“Dad?” Dean was clearly shocked.

John simply nodded. “Hey, boys. Y/N.” 

Reacting with emotion, Dean stepped forward, meeting his father halfway before the two of them embarrassed in a long and tight hug. The emotion filled the room, reaching even you and Sam as the two of you hesitated to move from the room’s door.

As they pulled away, John looked to his other son. “Hi Sam.”

All Sam could do was nod as he responded softly, “Hey, Dad.

John’s eyes turned to you, then. The breath he let out released so much tension and emotion. There was so much longing and need. He needed the reassuring touch of his Omega. You didn’t have the heart to tell him you weren’t his.

Finger’s slipping out of Sam’s grasp, you felt your heart ache a little as you did what you were taught to do and stepped up to the Alpha of your pack.

John pulled you to him as soon as you were within reach. Grasping the back of your head, he buried his face in your neck as he breathed in your scent. At the same time you could sense him scenting you, making sure to leave a reminder of himself as he held you against him.

Pulling back ever so slightly, he searched your eyes without really reading them, before he pulled you in and pressed his lips against yours in a desperate kiss.

It was muscle memory. With the muscle memory came other memories which flooded your mind and heart. Tears pricked at your eyes as you lifted your hand to grasp his jacket and hold him closer. Melting into his touch and the kiss, you revelled in the memories of comfort and security this man had created with you over the years you’d been together.

Cupping your face, he wiped away a stray tear from your cheek as he pulled you away. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too, sir.”

He chuckled lowly at the title. “You being a good girl for my boys?”

“Always.”

Humming his approval, he leaned back in to press his lips against yours in a tender but shorter kiss. Pulling back, he slipped his hand into yours, keeping you by his side as he turned to his sons.

“So… what happened?”

Dean was the one to jump in line and start answering his questions. “It was a trap. I didn’t know, I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right,” John assured him. “I thought it might’ve been.”

“Were you there?”

John nodded, answering Dean’s question. “Yeah, I got there just in time to see the girl take the swan dive. She was the bad guy, right?”

“Yes, sir,” both of his sons answered.

“Good.” John gave a short nod. “Well, it doesn’t surprise me. It’s tried to stop me before.”

It was Sam’s turn to ask questions, “The demon has?”

“It knows I’m close,” John explained. “It knows I’m gonna kill it. Not just exorcise it or send it back to hell. Actually kill it.”

The look of confusion but intrigued in Dean’s eyes barely covered the hope lingering there. “How?”

John just smiled. “I’m workin’ on that.”

“Let us come with you. We’ll help,” Sam offered.

Shaking his head, John declined the offer, “No, Sam. Not yet. Just try to understand. This demon is a scary son of a bitch. I don’t want you caught in a crossfire. I don’t want you hurt.”

“Dad, you don’t have to worry about us.”

“Of course I do. I’m your father. Your Alpha.” He gave your hand a squeeze before he went on, “Listen, Sammy, last time we were together, we had one hell of a fight.”

“Yes, sir.”

“It’s good to see you again. It’s been a long time.”

“Too long.”

Hand slipping from yours, John stepped up to his youngest and pulled him into a hug. The two held each other with a different kind of emotion than what he’d shared with Dean moment’s ago.

It happened so fast.

As John and Sam pulled away something came out of nowhere and grabbed them, throwing them across the room. You felt a force grab you, like invisible hands clutching at your arms before you were tossed like a ragdoll against the wall.

Your head collided with the drywall with enough impact that you felt yourself growing dizzy in an instant. You were so caught off guard you could only barely focus on the others as Dean cried out for his family before he too was thrown around.

Claws slashed at your arms, cutting through your jacket as blood began to seep through the wounds. You cried out, screaming as whatever had you did just barely enough damage to make sure you weren’t able to fight back.

“Shut your eyes!” Sam ordered over the chaos. “These things are shadow demons, so let’s light ‘em up!”

Barely having enough time to react, you squeezed your eyes shut just like he’d told you all to do. Behind your eyelids you saw the brightest of lights fill the room as Sam did something to banish the shadow demons. They screeched and screamed as the light erased them from existence momentarily.

Hands were grabbing you again in a matter of seconds, only they were gentler. You could sense they belonged to Sam without needing to open your eyes. Letting him grab you, you let him guide you out of the room as Dean hurried to help John before the four of you rushed out of the hotel as quickly as you could.

Leaning on Sam, your eyes now open, you let him rush you over to Baby. He’d grabbed the duffle bag of supplies before leaving the room at some point. Once he was certain you were steady enough, he let you go and threw the bag into the back of the car before turning his attention back to you.

His hands and eyes searched everywhere, taking in your injuries. “How bad are you hurt?”

“I’m fine,” you insisted, grabbing his hands to stop him.

Letting his hands stop, he watched as yours slipped into his grasp before he gave them a gentle squeeze. Leaning forward, he rested his forehead against yours as he let his breathing calm down, along with his rapidly beating heart.

As Dean and John caught up, Sam then pulled away to turn to them. “We don’t have much time. As soon as the flare’s out, they’ll be back.”

Dean shook his head as they came to a stop by the two of you. “Wait, wait, wait! Sam, wait. Dad, you can’t come with us.”

Sam was clearly shocked. “What? What are you talkin’ about?”

“You… you’re beat to hell,” John started to argue.

But Dean was adamant, “We’ll be alright.”

“Dean, we should stick together. We’ll go after those demons-”

He cut Sam off, “Sam! Listen to me! We almost got Dad killed in there. Don’t you understand? They’re not gonna stop. They’re gonna try again. They’re gonna use us to get to him. I mean, Meg was right. Dad’s vulnerable when he’s with us. He- he’s stronger without us around.”

Leaning against Baby, you watched the three Alphas, sensing them trying to out scent each other to win the argument. As they stood there it was becoming more and more clear that John was beginning to agree with Dean.

Sam shook his head. “Dad, no.” He reached out to rest his hand on his father’s shoulder. “After everything… after all the time we spent lookin’ for you- Please. I gotta be a part of this fight.”

“Sammy, this fight is just starting. And we are all gonna have a part to play,” John explained. “For now, you’ve got to trust me, son. Okay, you’ve gotta let me go.”

There was a brief moment of hesitation before Sam nodded, letting his hand fall from his father’s shoulder in a sign of defeat.

Knowing he could go without either of his sons fighting him on it, John stepped away from them, getting ready to leave. Only before he could walk off to his truck, which was parked at the other end of the ally, he turned to you.

“You should come with me.”

Your mouth gaped open and closed out of shock. “Wha… what?”

“I know you’re hunting with them,” he started. “I know you’re putting yourself in danger, and I know they’re encouraging it. You’ll be safer with me,” he explained as he reached his hand out expectantly, waiting for you to take it and go with him.

The thing is… you would be miserable with him. You knew it, deep down. He would have you locked away in your hotel room, tucked away from anyone who might harm you. Anything that might harm you. But that was harmful in its own way. In a depression, anxiety, bad thoughts and bad mental place kind of way.

But how could you say no to the man who saved your life? Didn’t you owe him everything? Until challenged, he was your Alpha, right? So how were you supposed to deny his request?

No answer came to mind, so you did the one thing your body was screaming at you to do.

Slinking back, you found yourself sliding into Sam’s side as you shook your head. “No.”

John looked at you dumbfounded. He was completely shocked and confused, and you even spotted a hint of betrayal in his eyes. But he didn’t fight you on your decision, and you realised in that moment the two of you were experiencing your first disobedience against him.

Lowering his hand, he turned his back on the three of you and started towards his truck. When he reached it he paused and turned to look at your little group one last time before he got into the truck and drove off.

Sam’s arm wrapped around you as he led you to Baby and guided you into the backseat. Neither of the brothers commented on the decision you’d made as they got into the front. Not even Dean questioned why you’d denied their father as he started the car.

In fact, if you didn’t know any better… you swore you could sense relief in both of them as Dean began to drive off in the opposite direction of their pack Alpha.

Bamby

[buckyownsmylife]

Just One - John Winchester smut

The one where John has been obsessed with killing you but now that he found you...

Warnings: smut, as close to hatefucking as I can write, witch!reader, masturbation (f), oral (m, f), dirty talk, degradation laced with praise?, hairpulling kink, namecalling (bitch, whore), John wants it to hurt, slight size kink (blink and you’ll miss), p in v, spanking, biting, unprotected sex, cumplay, unspecified age gap

Word count: 2.2k

A/N:  This one is a part of my kinktober celebrations. My original intention for this October was to work exclusively around prompts that my wonderful friend @darkficsyouneveraskedfor created for her challenge and dedicate each story to a different friend. My new plan became then 31 days of different kinks, which expanded on a poly relationship with Stucky, as you might know by now. However, some of the stories I started were already truly loved by me, and so I kept on writing them. It worked well because as it turns out, I am fortunate enough to have more than 31 friends on Tumblr, so here is the story I wrote for @negans-attagirl​. This most likely celebrates my last time writing for John! Special thanks to my @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ for reading this even though she’s not really into Supernatural! I love you for it!

I knew he was there. Watching. I’d been running away from him for so long, it felt like second nature now - to look over my shoulder, hold my breath when a stranger got too close. Watch the shadows and see if they took the form of a well-built man who wanted nothing more than to see me dead.

But I didn’t just wait around for my inevitable ending, oh no. I’d studied him just as much as he did to me, prepared myself for what was to come as I fled the state and traveled borders in the hopes of throwing him off. I concocted potions and spells and thought about everything I could do to him whenever he found me again.

Most of all, I thought of him. How could I not? Not only was he my main concern in this life, but the man was just walking sin. And if I were to go down, I was determined to at least go down on him before he killed me.

So I slowly left the diner across from the motel I’d been hiding in for the last three weeks and returned to my room, making sure to leave the door unlocked while I took off my clothes. The sound of the door closing behind me wasn’t unmistakable, and we both knew that. “Feel like joining me?” I asked as I sat down on the bed and spread my legs for his eyes, my hand traveling down my body, playing with my nipples before settling between my thighs. He didn’t look confused, not even for a moment.

This sexual tension between us, it’d never been one-sided. It was there from the beginning, electrifying our interactions as desire swirled in the air around us. I was convinced it was the main reason why he couldn’t just let me go.

He leaned his head to the side, but didn’t say anything. He was too focused on what I was doing, the way my fingers rubbed my clit before dipping inside my hole only to come back up wetter, the sounds of my actions filling the air around us.

“I don’t see why not.” The words sent a thrill up my spine, and without even stopping to consider what I was doing, I dropped to my knees before him, reaching out for his jeans. “Can’t let you get off all by yourself.”

I hummed appreciatively as I stuck out my tongue to lick the red head of his cock, already intoxicated with his taste. “Such a gentleman… even when you’re planning to kill me.” His chuckle was like thunder, reverberating through me and making my clit throb as I wrapped my lips around his member.

“It would be a waste if I didn’t put this pretty mouth to work.” His thumb brushed against my lower lip until I licked it and enveloped it with my mouth, making him groan. “So fucking warm. I’m gonna enjoy filling this hole with my cock.”

His words had me clenching around nothing, the overwhelming wetness that dripped from me now slathering the inside of my thighs, no doubt reaching the floor. It made me desperate to please him, desperate to fill my mouth with his cock.

So I wrapped my lips around the head of his member and began sucking, at first looking up to see his darkened, lust-filled eyes before actually closing mine to fully appreciate his taste, the weight of him on my tongue.

I licked every single inch of his skin until my saliva coated his member. It was a beautiful cock, a cock that deserved to be worshiped. I wasn’t one to enjoy being on my knees too much, but his thickness was just too tempting. I needed to pay it the proper respects.

So I took him as well as I could, ignoring the way tears rose to my eyes as I willingly choked myself on his cock, trying my best to breathe through my nose in an effort to reach his navel.

I wasn’t able to. But he didn’t seem to mind, hand wrapped around my hair, forcing my movements as I slobbered all over his dick. “Such a good little cocksucker…” he absentmindedly commented, almost to himself.

“Were you expecting me?” I looked up to see him looking down at me, actually waiting for an answer. So I pulled away, wiped the spit from my jaw before replying honestly, “Always.”

Because, well… How could I sleep peacefully without thinking about the man who wanted to kill me?

But his answer was a chuckle and an almost condescending head pat, his deep warm voice making me even wetter when he complimented, “Good girl.” God, he could kill me right now. I’d go willingly and happily.

I eagerly sucked him off a bit longer, losing myself in the almost-sounds that I could pick up from his body: the little groans and pants, the way he cleared his throat instead of growling his desire for me. He wouldn’t give in, wouldn’t show his satisfaction to a little witch.

I could live with that.

“Stop that.” His words were accompanied by a harsh tug on my hair, pulling me up until I was standing on my tip toes, my face mere inches from his. “Wanna fuck you now. I can kill you tomorrow.”

The fact that he never kissed me didn’t escape me. This was a quick fuck, it would not be mistaken as anything else. Still, that didn’t mean I wouldn’t drag as much fun out of it as I possibly could… especially considering these might very well be my last hours of living.

“So you want me?” I questioned, smirking at his answering huff. He didn’t want to admit it, of course - that would be recognizing I had some sort of power over him. So he opted to tighten his grip on my hair until I moaned from the pleasurable pain, eyes sparkling in their darkness as he took in just how desperate I was for him.

“You’re such a fucking tease,” he settled for saying as I laughed. “Always a fucking tease. Is your cunt as bitter as your soul, brat?” I bit my lip as he threw me on the bed, already anticipating his next move.

“Find out for yourself.” His expression made it clear that he was doubtful when he tore off my underwear and threw the scraps of it over his shoulder, pulling me to the edge of the bed by my ankles without much care.

He pressed on the inside of my thighs to keep my legs spread for him, and when his tongue licked a line up my cunt, I clenched around nothing, eyes closing for just a second to relish in the barely-there sensation.

“Oh, fuck…” His voice was barely over a whisper, but I still heard it and when I opened my eyes to look at him, he was staring directly at his meal, like he couldn’t believe what he had just tasted. “So fucking sweet…”

He went back there with a newfound hunger, and although I knew he wasn’t doing this to make me cum, I also knew he would achieve that - easily. It didn’t take many of his long swipes over my hole, the twirls around my clit to make me gasp for him, hands flying down to pull on his hair.

I think the only reason he didn’t slap them away was because he seemed to like the slight sting I provided him.

“Fucking cum, bitch,” he growled at some point, surprising me until he revealed why it was that he wanted me to orgasm. “I want to drink all of your essence before I shove my cock into you, make sure it’ll really sting.”

But I knew it was more than that - I knew he wanted more of my taste. It was everywhere now, dripping from his beard, smearing the inside of my thighs, but he kept his eyes focused on me, waiting for my breaking point.

I saw embers of flames when it arrived. Maybe it predicted my death at the stake, but I couldn’t mind it. Not when John was rising to his full height and very easily turning me around to lay on my stomach, keeping my legs dangling off the edge of the bed when he kicked them apart.

I was trapped under his much larger body and I didn’t mind it at all. He shoved my face against the bed, like he didn’t want to see it as he slowly started to stretch me out.

I bit my lower lip as I struggled to adjust around his thickness, and by the sounds John was releasing, I could see he was just as overwhelmed by me and the pussy he wanted to destroy.

I couldn’t believe how good it felt to be ravished by John Winchester. No one had ever fucked me like this before, and I was sure he knew, with the melodic moans that kept slipping from my lips, try as I might to reel them in.

“Those fucking sounds…” He groaned behind me, seconds before his hand landed harshly on the right cheek of my ass, making me whine even louder. “You’re a filthy little whore, aren’t you?”

I was too far gone to even try to deny it, fucking myself back against his delicious thick cock, desperate to cum again, this time feeling completely full of him.

“Who would have thought…” He panted, hips maintaining their onslaught against me. “Nasty fucking witch, such a tight little pussy.” Each word was accompanied by a particularly brutal thrust and I relished in it. I relished in witnessing the great John Winchester get carried away because of my body.

“Fuck,” he cursed after he managed to locate my sweet spot, which in turn had me instinctively clenching around him. “Why do you feel so fucking good?”

Under him, I just giggled, my hand easily locating the spot above where we were connected so I could rub myself to an orgasm. “I’m convinced you’re the devil, little witch.”

Stifling a laugh, I started to move my hips back so I could fuck myself on him, showing him how I liked to be treated - even harder and rougher than he was already treating me. And because I really was a brat, I couldn’t help but taunt, “Do you feel sorry you have to destroy it?”

I knew he understood I was referring to my pussy, and when his hand slapped mine away so he could take over the motions over my clit, I closed my eyes to let bliss take me.

“Almost,” he grunted, a confession I almost lost in the fog of my high. But here lied an opportunity, and I wasn’t about to let it slip away without a fight.

“I mean… you could just keep it,” I offered, barely over a whisper so as not to anger the man who kept fucking me. I didn’t want him to stop his movements, so I hoped even if he did get pissed at my suggestion, he’d just take it out on me. “Use it whenever you want.”

I didn’t get a response from him - at least, not verbally. But he did speed up his movements, pounding me so hard the bed started to hit the wall and I knew we were seconds away from having the neighbors banging on it, telling us to keep it down, but I couldn’t care less.

Not when John was burying his face in the crook of my neck, beard tickling me as he bit on my shoulder to keep his roar from reverberating in the room when he shot his cum deep inside of me.

He didn’t wait even a second before pulling out. I missed his weight on top of me, but the feeling of his cum slowly slipping from my used pussy was enough to give me some comfort.

“Shit, I really opened you up, huh?” He chuckled, rubbing his cream around my hole before pushing it back into me, making me whine. “I’m still fucking hard. Did you put a spell on me, brat?”

I laughed as he massaged my ass, apparently incapable of fully retreating his touch from my skin. “Is that why I’m still aroused?” He insisted, rutting his very much, still hard member against my thigh. “Tell me.”

Stretching, I giggled at his silly accusation. “I think I just turn you on, old man,” I teased, wiggling my ass at him. He took the bait and spanked it, before I felt his weight leave the bed altogether.

“Well, I’m going to take a shower, wash you off of me,” he explained, stopping at the door of the bathroom to stare at me. “You better be there when I come out,” he warned and I bit my lip, understanding exactly what he meant.

“I don’t think I can walk if I tried,” I giggled, but he just tipped his head back, humming noncommittally. Before long, I heard the shower turning on, the sound of the water running down the drain almost lulling me to sleep.

I made sure to leave my panties right next to the note I wrote for him to find when he got out of the shower. Three simple words, a promise: “Until next time”.

[gojos-precious]

The Singer Household

Summary: Courtney tries to adjust to living with Bobby

A/N: This is part 2 to Becoming a Singer. As always please be kind! :)

Adjusting to living with Bobby was hard. Don’t get me wrong, it was a lot better than what I was used to, but it was still hard. I thought it would be easier to adjust because I knew that I was safe, but it was just… different.  At Bobby’s house, I ate regularly and always had clean clothes. I didn’t have to worry whether someone would take care of me.  Bobby taught me how to cook and it was really fun. He had so many of his wife’s old cookbooks lying around so we never ran out of recipes to try. But at night, when it was quiet, that’s when things were hard.  No one talks about just how hard it is to adjust from an abusive situation. Bobby knew what it was like though. He was very patient with me. Bobby’s dad was an abusive drunk so he understood.  He knew it wasn’t going to be easy taking me in, and yet he did it anyway. 

I often had nightmares that would wake me up with my own screams. Without fail,  Bobby would always come and sit with me until I was okay. Some nights we would just stay up and talk or he’d read me some of his favorite books. Sometimes we would even get up and start baking cookies.  Bobby’s cookies always made it better. He didn’t force me to talk about the nightmares.  I wasn’t ready to talk about them at first.  He let me sit with them. 

The Winchester boys didn’t know that I was having nightmares or the real reason why I moved in with Bobby. I still remember the first time that they were there when a nightmare happened. They had come to stay with me and Bobby while John was out on a particularly dangerous hunt. It was the first night that they were there. All day I was worrying about what would happen that night. I was worried that they were going to find out. I was scared to fall asleep.  I tried staying up reading but it just made me even more tired. I had fallen asleep at some point and didn’t realize it. Then the dream started. 

Dad was talking about the hunt he was about to leave for. I was crying and begging him not to because I knew what happened on that hunt. The hunt that changed everything. The hunt that killed him. But he wouldn’t listen to me. It was like I was talking to a statue. That was one of the worst nights of my life. That was the last time I got to hug my dad. I was a sobbing mess in the corner of the room as I watched everything happen in slow motion. After what felt like 30 seconds and an eternity, we got the call that he had died. I started crying immediately. Mom had put on the front of the mourning widow until she hung up the phone.  It took her less than a minute to drop the mask.  That’s when shit hit the fan. She started screaming at me, telling me how she regretted the day I was born. She told me I was just a burden and that I always would be. I was crying so much that I could barely breathe. It felt like there was an elephant sitting on my chest. I could just faintly hear someone screaming my name. It wasn’t Mom. The voice sounded so familiar but I just couldn’t put my finger on who it was. The voice sounded far away.  

Next thing I know, I’m awake. I’m at Bobby’s. I’m safe. After I realized that I was at Bobby’s, I did in fact hear someone screaming my name. It was Sam. Sam, Dean, and Bobby had all rushed into my room after hearing me screaming and crying. Sam was sitting on the edge of the bed next to me with his hands on my shoulders. He had been shaking me trying to get me to wake up. It was silent for an eternity, aside from my sniffling, before Dean piped up and said, “Courtney, are you okay?”

 I looked at Bobby and he just gave a slight nod and I knew what it meant. It meant it was time to tell them.   I cleared my throat before saying “I think it’s time I tell you guys the truth.” The boys looked between me and Bobby and Sam said, “Bobby, what does she mean?” and Dean said “Yeah, what have you not been telling us?” Bobby looked at me and said “Do you want to tell them or do you want me to?” I sat up straight in the bed and said “I think this should come from me. You guys might want to get comfortable, this is going to take a little while.”

I scooted to the middle of the bed.  Sam sat on my left and Bobby sat on my right while Dean sat at the end of the bed. And so I told them. I told them everything. I refused to look up from my lap the whole time. I was scared to see their faces. I knew how they’d be looking at me. I knew that their eyes would be full of pity. But to my surprise, when I looked up and made eye contact with Dean, his face wasn’t full of pity. It was full of anger. I looked over at Sam and he had the same look. The only difference was that Sam had tears on his face. 

I looked at Bobby and saw a few tears had fallen down his cheeks. He knew how hard that was for me and he was so proud that I finally told them. It was quiet for so long. I finally spoke up and said,“Somebody please say something.” Dean cleared his throat and kinda shook his head and said, “Why didn’t you want to tell us?” I looked at them both and said, “I didn’t want you to look at me any differently. I didn’t want you to think of me as damaged goods.” 

At that moment, Sam grabbed my hand from where it was resting on my lap and said, “Courtney, nothing could make us think that you were damaged goods.” Bobby spoke from beside me and said, “See kiddo, I told you that they would understand.” I nodded and smiled. I guess I had been worrying for no reason. They took it way better than I thought they would. Out of nowhere, Dean said, “I’m still confused by one thing though.” I kinda tilted my head in confusion and said, “And what’s that?”

He said, “So you’re not just clumsy? Because I’ve definitely seen you fall in the salvage yard plenty of times and you’re constantly tripping over air.” At that, I busted out laughing which then made everyone laugh. After laughing until all of our stomachs were hurting, Bobby got up and said, “Well, we’ll let you get back to sleep.” Everyone left and the boys were already halfway down the hall before I said, “Now you know that there is no way in hell that I’m going back to sleep after that.” Bobby laughed and said, “Let me guess: you either want to watch a movie or bake cookies?” I giggled and started getting out of the bed saying “Why not do both?” Dean yells from down the hall, “Did I hear something about baking cookies?” The rest of the night was spent laughing and I realized that no matter what, this was my family. This is where I belonged. 

@wdwmarveldisney​

[poohkeepsee]

I was going through my AO3 bookmarks, and I wanted to organize them a little bit. These are my Dean/Cas canon-ish fic recs.

season 5

canticles  by  2street2car Words: 10,311     Chapters: 1

“But you know something? If I couldn’t get you laid, at least I gave you a good first date.”feat: footsies at a Ruby Tuesday, stargazing, the recreation of an iconic "Dirty Dancing" scene (no, not that one—the other one), and practicing for When You're With A Girl.

FTBYAM MY BELOVED

post season 6

Someone Who's Feeling For Me  by  ellispark  Words: 45,876     Chapters: 1

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

post bunker

Sun Can't Set Until Nine  by  LeverDrift Words: 67,939     Chapters: 16

Cas moves into the bunker as his powers start to fail. Dean doesn’t know if the arrangement is as permanent as he wants it to be. He's also not sure why he keeps dreaming about his friend. All he knows is that he wants Cas to stay. Overall warnings: canon-typical miscommunication & Dean having self-hatred issues.

Life Skills  by  ilovehowyouletmefall           Words: 26,052     Chapters: 3

After Metatron steals Castiel's grace, and Cas comes to live in the bunker, Dean spends a lot of time with him, sharing all of his favourite things. Dean can't help it if sharing things with Cas just makes everything better. Besides, it's Dean's job as Cas' friend to introduce him to the joys of human life. To teach him how to be human.  And if one of the experiences they end up sharing is sex with women, well... that's just part of Dean's job as Cas' friend too, right? The desire is triangulated, the rituals are intricate.

Sam Stole My Boyfriend  by  sobsicles    Words: 8,445     Chapters: 1

“Dude, you’ve been staring at me a lot lately, like even enough that Sam noticed. More than usual. So, like, what’s up?” Dean pauses, purses his lips and reconsiders. “What did I do?”

Cas knows that would be a perfect time to confess to Dean what exactly happened and what he was thinking. Maybe, Dean had some insight into the situation or even some kind of comfort to offer. But, the longer that he sat there, he realized that he could not tell Dean absolutely anything. So instead, for the first time, Cas fumbled.

“Um,” Cas mutters and abruptly stands. “Freckles?”

Dean blinked up at him as Cas pivoted and left the room. There was only one remaining option he had and unfortunately, it involved Sam.

Aching in the Absence of You  by  sobsicles Words: 95,090     Chapters: 10

Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back.

He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales.

"Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time.

By nightfall, Cas is gone.

'Communication'  by  JustAnotherSamlicker Words: 11,656

The same story told from two perspectives.

Dean bought a house and he and Cas fix it up.

Is Dean moving out? Is Cas moving in?

Should they just talk to each other already? (Yes they should)

Build a Home  by  domesticadventures Words: 20,102

After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them.

He doesn't

season 10

The Most Important Thing  by  NorthernSparrow Words: 94,462     Chapters: 14

Jimmy Novak remembers nothing of the last six years. Reunited with his troubled daughter Claire, he's struggling to raise her on his own. The most important thing is to make Claire happy. But why does he keep having these dreams of wings, and of two men in a black car? (Canon-divergent from S10E11, when we first met Claire again and Dean was still struggling with the Mark of Cain. Takes places several months later).

season 12

Heroes for Ghosts  by  pantheon_of_discord Words: 42,922     Chapters: 7

Canon-divergent from 12.08

After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

season 13

i want to do with you (what spring does with cherry trees)  by  sobsicles   Words: 74,173     Chapters: 8

Dean keeps going back.

When he arrives, it's always to blooming flowers and a windmill in the background, not too far from a brook, the sun painting the plains.

He likes it there. He likes to stand in front of the makeshift urn and check that it's still where he put it, switching out the flowers when they wilt. He likes to listen to the sound of birds chirping, insects singing, the faint sound of water trickling in the distance. He likes to turn his face up and feel the sun on his skin, wondering if Cas would do the same if he were here, somehow knowing that he would.

He likes to talk.

There's never a response, but Dean feels the breeze rustle through his hair and watches the flowers bob when bees come to them and stares as the windmill keeps turning, turning, turning. And he imagines that Cas is replying—the windmill is the tilted head, the bobbing flowers are a gentle smile, the breeze is whatever words Dean wants to hear at the time.

Sometimes, it's almost like he's there.

Trial and Tribulations of Raising a Nephilim  by  Sickandtiredofyou Words: 14,910   Chapters: 6

Dean has far too much on his plate, losing his mom, his best friend and now being a single parent to a newborn nephilim.

In which Jack is an actual newborn instead of a teenager.

post season 13

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination)  by  sobsicles           Words:     108,427     Chapters:     4

Freedom is just one adjustment after the next.

Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want."

"What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before."

"Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out."

"Easier said than done."

Reasons to read this:

Dean reads a story that ends like despair and his reaction is FUCK THAT

Cas wears Dean's hoodie

Jack is a toddler

The Jack and Claire sibling energy we deserve

Eileen being awesome and pulling pranks with Dean while Sam thinks she's an angel

Sam knows

YOUR HONOR THEY'RE IN LOVE

First Date  by  aeli_kindara Words: 8,968    Chapters: 1

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

Also known as the Dean Winchester makes the first move fic.

season 14

Broken Road  by  thegeminisage Words:     109,629     Chapters:     7

A 14.13 Lebanon rewrite. When Dean uses a wish-granting pearl to try and kill the archangel Michael before he can escape the cage in Dean's head, they instead wind up with a newly-resurrected John Winchester.

It's been more than a decade since John died, and a lot has changed: Mary is alive, Sam and Dean have what passes for a proper home in the Men of Letters Bunker, and they're living with angels. John doesn't know angels are real, he doesn't know about the fragile new relationship between Dean and Castiel, and most of all, he doesn't know that Dean said yes to Michael, or that Dean's plan to defeat Michael would send him to a fate worse than death.

Now Dean must contend with both his father asking questions he can't answer, and his loved ones learning about the darker truths of his childhood, all while constantly battling the archangel trapped inside him. But Dean coming to terms with his history may be the difference between this being the beginning of a journey—or the end.

post season 15

fools and pilgrims  by  lagaudiere Words: 31,904     Chapters: 2

Claire shows up at the bunker a day before Dean was planning to leave, with her hair cut short and a fresh tattoo on her left arm under a bandage. Chuck is dead, Jack has given up his godlike powers, and Cas is back from the Empty, which doesn't make it any easier for Dean to talk to him. Suddenly finding himself in a world without monsters, supernatural forces, or any need for hunters, Dean's solution is to go on a road trip. Claire tags along.

Dean-Claire mirror fic post Despair

what's missing is found (our souls can exhale now)  by  sobsicles Words: 27,403

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.

canon(?) au  (Hunters and Men of Letters)

Dean Winchester's Secret (Angel) Boyfriend  by  reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent Words: 11,191     Chapters: 1

Dean Winchester isn't exactly a team player. So when he starts mentioning a new Hunting partner, Ellen and Jo Harvelle aren't sure whether they should be worried or relieved.

But they're starting to get the feeling there's something important Dean's not telling them about Cas...

Shot Through The Heart  by  peanutbutterjelly-pie (Aleakim) Words: 11,191     Chapters: 1

Dean is a hunter.

Castiel is a Man of Letters.

And even though they have to work together on a regular basis, there is not much sympathy between them. Castiel thinks Dean too brash and reckless while Dean in return sees nothing more in the other man than a rude asshole with an obsessive love for books and a truly terrible fashion sense.

But fate clearly has a funny way of throwing those two together over and over again.

And somewhere along the way feelings change into something neither of them would have expected.

[autisticandroids]

ok how would girls au work because i feel like to keep true with the theme of toxic gender roles them being cool and butch feels very at odds with that when like the girl version of that would be like christian girl with an instagram talking about country life and her future husband like it would be an interesting combo for them because john would be like ur an inherent failure for being a girl but also the expectations are lower already for them compared to john and sons

yeah it’s like weird! but i think about it a lot. i made a big fun post with it here.

basically my ideas are a combination of serious (dean) interesting (sam) and self-indulgent (cas).

like first of all i think sam is an out lesbian and i think she came out during the fight before stanford. like, i think she told dean when she was like fifteen, but she told john the night she left. she spat it in his face, actually. 

i think dean is like. dean loves her unconditionally but is also lightly homophobic to her about it, you know? they were accustomed to sharing motel room beds as kids but dean won’t do it anymore now that she knows sam likes girls. dean is also like, weird to her about her interactions with other women, and also talks constantly about men, as though men-liking were a cool exclusive club only dean is invited to.

i think sam has like butt length straight hair and doesn’t wear any makeup ever but doesn’t like. wear mens clothes or anything, like she wears plain clothes that are cut for women. on hunts she puts her hair in a braid. maybe she braids a spiked strap into it like beka cooper.

dean is like........ dean is a lot like young, pre-john mary i think. think the song remains the same. dean is obsessed with performing masculinity, while at the same time terrified of seeming mannish or queer. she walks a weird line, and ends up overperforming both masculinity and femininity. she regularly challenges dudes twice her size to arm wrestling contests in bars, but she never goes out of the motel room without a full face of makeup. like she’s obsessed with doing both. masculinity for respect, and femininity for conformity. you know that thing dean does with his voice? the harshening? the intentionally adopted accent and tough guy tones? she does that too. and her voice is raspy, like rachel miner’s. she’s just as invested in her “heterosexuality” as canon dean.

she wears dean’s same green army jacket but underneath it she ties up a flannel shirt so it bares her midriff. she wears her hair like s13 mary, except that sometimes she puts it in little pigtails. 

cas is the easiest because cas’ gender presentation doesn’t matter at all except in how OTHER PEOPLE relate to her, so it’s less a question of “how would cas do woman?” and more a question of “what would it be fun to see other people/dean specifically react to?”

so basically like. jimmy novak is a frumpy feminine christian mom. still wears the trench coat and probably a suit but when i say suit i mean blazer, pencil skirt, tights, blouse (or maaaybe a button down), low-ish heels. long hair in bouncy curls (think rowena’s hair but no bangs and black). actually jimmy novak probably pinned her hair up in a slight updo.

anyway i’ve decided that i refuse to try and remember what actually happened with cas falling in like, canon, like how close he got to human. this au’s cas gets close enough to human that she has to start like. showering. anyway she can’t take care of the hair so it gets tangled in a giant rat’s nest and dean gives her a bathroom chop. she has to borrow the winchester sisters’ clothes, because she has to start changing clothes but also because she can’t fucking walk in jimmy’s heels or in that confining skirt without the assistance of her grace. 

all the winchesters’ clothes look baggy on her because she’s kind of spindly and narrow and flat as a board. like dean and sam have big shoulders, big hips, and big breasts, and cas has zero out of three, so anything she wears looks like a smock. she keeps wearing the coat over whatever they give her. she’s tallish (five feet eight or nine inches?) but dean is taller and sam is freakishly tall. cas could probably pass for a man alone but when she’s with dean or sam it’s obvious she’s a woman just because of the heights.

when she returns to angelhood at the end of season five, she’s wearing jimmy’s white office button down, but no bra underneath because the only reasons she would need one would be to either make her boobs look bigger or to hide her nipples and cas isn’t interested in either of those things and bras are uncomfortable, no blazer on top, a set of cargo pants that look feminine and form fitting on dean because dean is in possession of an ass and hips, but baggy and dykey on cas because she is not, combat boots (also dean’s), and the coat, and her hair is just like canon cas’ hair but way choppier because dean cut it for her.

anyway, dean treats cas in a WILD way, like. they do some intricate rituals in season four? they are dean winchester and castiel, after all. but after cas butches up in season five and then stays that way dean pushes it into overdrive. “i wish you were a boy so i could date you” shit. dean lets cas put a hand on the small of her back. she jokes that cas is her boyfriend. when cas sleeps, they sleep in the same bed, “since you can’t possibly share with sam, she’s a dyke.” also she called cas cassie a lot when cas looked more feminine but switches exclusively to cas when cas looks more masculine. like it’s this whole “”””straight”””” girl intricate ritual where one is attracted to a masculine woman so one coercively masculinizes her further.

sam tries to check in with cas to see if cas is cool with this forcible masculinization and weird gender relationship, because sam is gay and Understands or at least thinks she does. she also catches wind that cas is here to smash a lot sooner than in canon. but anyway cas rebuffs her because cas hates sam. 

tangent, but one of my least favorite things that happens in mid spn, starting i think in s6, is that they start needing plausible deniability for cas, so they start pretending him and sam are like, friends. like 6.20 “i did it to protect the boys. or to protect myself. i don’t know anymore.” like there’s all this emotional stuff where cas is clearly talking about his emotional connection to dean, but sam gets included in order to make it seem SLIGHTLY less gay. and that’s annoying because of the no-homo-ness but it’s actually more annoying because 1) i liked s5 cas’ bitchiness towards sam i think that killed and 2) if sam and cas are gonna be friends after cas was a bitch and called sam an abomination and shit, develop it! develop it! don’t just Say that they are.

anyway it’s my au and i say what happens so the plausible deniability “both the brothers are important to me” shit does NOT happen and cas is a bitch to sam throughout s5&6. they do eventually bond later? like cas still takes sam’s hell trauma, and sam feels like she owes her for that (even though it was CAS’ FAULT IN THE FIRST PLACE but sam is batshit like that). so that’s what kind of gets them to eventually bond a little and become friends and comrades. 

also sam clocks cas as gay. obviously. sam tries to inform cas about being gay. because sam too is gay. it only kind of sticks. cas doesn’t really understand how human societal roles work. cas has HUGE angel autism and i support her.

also as long as we’re talking about five and six, why don’t we deal with male lisa. so obviously the kid thing doesn’t work. the thing that lisa does that makes dean like :o is not “have a kid that might be dean’s” but “tell dean he was going to propose.” this implies that they were dating in the past longer than canon dean and lisa but oh well. 

however, when dean gets pulled back into hunting, she’s six weeks pregnant by lisa and doesn’t know it. cas immediately tells her, and offers to give her an angelic abortion. she accepts without hesitating and cas does it. the fact that this - cas taking ownership of dean’s reproductive organs in a somewhat invasive way, even if it was wanted - contributes to their whole.... season six..... dynamic. dean never tells lisa about this.

that’s everything i can think of. i have work in four hours.

[ckneal]

So, up until the last year, I was not actively involved in fandom on tumblr. All of my fan theories and fic ideas were created for the sole purpose of entertaining me and me alone. And as such, when I happened upon the midam and angel communities, I did experience a certain amount of culture shock when I found that some of the things that I had just taken for granted from the very first viewing of the show—didn’t even need to think about it, it just seemed to be right there—were contrary to the beliefs of the overall fandom. And today, I feel like airing out one of these for fun of it.

(And warning, this might be an unpopular take.)

Before discovering the midam community, I believed that Kate Milligan was aware of the existence of the supernatural and complicit in keeping Adam in the dark.

To be clear right off the bat, I am not purposing a Mary Winchester situation. I do not think that Kate was a hunter. But I do think that the chain of events that led to Adam’s conception may have had more in common with what Sam laid out at the beginning of Jump the Shark. I have two main reasons in thinking this.

The first reason, is simply this: John gave Kate his cellphone number. She just had it on hand when Adam decided he wanted to meet his dad twelve years down the line. That just seemed really weird. John Winchester is not exactly the stay-for-breakfast type, let alone the type to stay in contact with a one night stand in a backwater town. But you know who he DOES give his phone number out to? People who know that he’s a hunter, and who might recognize the signs of the paranormal and give him a call in the future. People he expects might lead to further cases.

The second reason is pertaining to the ghoul children. How did they know about Kate and Adam? John had not been to see Adam in a couple of years by the time of Adam’s death, and is implied to have been an infrequent visitor before that. Would the ghoul children have really been staking out the town for over two years before making their move? That seemed so implausible to me, personally, upon the first viewing of the show that I dismissed it outright, and with subsequent rewatches it seems more clear—from the way that the ghoul seems to blink and search for the answers every time Sam and Dean ask about Adam’s history, and with Denise when she asks if “Adam” would like his usual order—that, no, the ghouls had not been watching Adam and Kate at length because clearly the ghoul’s impersonation of Adam was not polished. Kate and Adam were killed by amateurs.

And, to me, the fact that they knew to go after Kate only made sense because, somehow, she was part of the hunt. Not as some nurse who stitched John back together after he hauled himself away from the scene of the crime either.

What I think happened, was this. The ghoul children said that their father was not a monster, and they were telling the truth. A monster named John Winchester came to town with all the motivation of an exterminator coming to take care of a cockroach infestation. He heard about a creepy crawly feeding on the dead, and harmless though the creature was, he was there to kill it. But remember the ghoul we later met in season 13. Ghouls aren’t always just weirdos hiding in the shadows with gore crusted onto their faces. They are perfectly logical beings, capable of being functional members of society, and I think that when John showed up, the ghouls’ father was able to get by in society, maybe changing faces every now and then, but definitely capable of going undetected. I think the reason the ghoul attracted attention at all was because he had two (or three—I still like to think there might have been three) children to support. The father himself might have been able to get by sparingly by munching on the same bit of corpse for months to keep his appearance consistent, but you can’t expect that kind of restraint from children. And maybe, building off that, the ghoul kept his children hidden, because who knows how their shapeshifting abilities translate when they’re young?

But I digress. I think the ghoul found out that John was there—perhaps even met John Winchester and just barely managed to keep his cool—and decided to switch tactics, and switch faces. I think the ghoul moved from feeding out of a cemetery to a hospital morgue. The morgue, of course, is more dangerous. There are a lot more people milling around all day and night, not to mention the security cameras, but the ghoul gets a job as a janitor, using their new face and name, and reasons to himself that it was just temporary until John Winchester left.

However, things became complicated. The ghoul had planned to pull this off by switching back and forth between two different faces, by eating from two different corpses, but at some point John connected the ghoul’s older persona to the case, went to the house, and found the stash. The ghoul’s children had only just managed to escape, and the ghoul was put on edge. He started to get sloppy in his panic. With few options, he makes the decision that he and his children will have to flee—but the fact still remains that there are four of them, and this hunter is stubborn. The further they can go before stopping to feed, the better their chances of getting away unfollowed. So, the ghoul, in his hospital persona, goes back to the hospital for one last food run. He tells his kids to stay put in the car, and stay below the windows. They may look like any ordinary kids, but he doesn’t want to take any chances. 

When he goes inside though, the ghoul is finally caught in the act, stuffing body parts into a black trash bag—no one would have thought twice about him hauling things off to the dumpsters. He would have been homefree, if Kate hadn’t walked in.

Meanwhile in the parking garage, the worst happens: John Winchester arrives in the impala. The ghoul children see him in the rearview mirror, and they recognize the man who had broken into their home, and crouch down deeper into the backseat of their own car, even as they start frantically whispering. Their dad told them to stay put, but he was in danger and they needed to warn him!

Inside the hospital, the ghoul had Kate tied to a chair, and he’s stuck holding a scalpel in hand, fighting a battle on the inside, because he is not a violent man. He’s just a single dad trying to take care his kids, and he’s always been so, so careful, but now he’s been caught. Instinct says to kill Kate. If she’s dead, she wont be able to give out any details that might somehow help the hunter find him. But on the other hand, he had been working at the hospital for weeks now, and he liked Kate. She was friendly, nice. They talked a lot—but that’s why she might know something that could help John find him, some detail the ghoul wouldn’t even remember sharing, but that a lunatic like John Winchester could hyper fixate on. You never knew what might give you away with hunters. . .

John barges in and finds them while the ghoul’s still agonizing over the decision—Kate seemingly roughed up with the ghoul standing there, poised to cut her throat, and it’s all over for the ghoul. He fights John as best as he can, slashing with the scalpel and biting with a savagery that he had always thought himself above in the past, but his kids were waiting for him. . .

And unbeknownst to John Winchester and the ghoul, there his kids were, watching from the air vent overhead, out of sight, the way their dad had always urged them to move when they were in danger. They saw the murder, they saw Kate, and they saw the officer, Joe Barton, show up to sweep the whole mess under the rug, never knowing that two (or three) witnesses were huddled there, waiting for everyone to leave so they could crawl away, because if they moved any sooner they would have likely given themselves away, the way that they were shaking.

And that’s why I think Kate knew. I think that Kate was there at the final showdown, or at least present enough during the case that the ghoul children would have seen her, and would have known to look for her as well as Joe Barton when they decided to take revenge. I think that they saw Adam, and the pictures of John their house, and they did the math.

I think that Kate made a mistake in keeping Adam ignorant--regardless of whether it was her idea or John’s (though I’m gonna be real with you guys, I always thought it was Kate’s; I think John would have thrown Adam in the back of the impala and driven him off in to a life and guns, alcoholism, and bloodshed in a heartbeat if it weren’t for Kate)--because she made the same mistake that Mary would have with her children, in thinking that if you aren’t part of this life, it can’t hurt you. She was wrong. 

[carry-on-every-neverland-magic]

‘Come Out And Haunt Me’

Also on A03  for @aborddelimpala SamDean Celebration Week Day One: “Dad’s on a hunting trip and he hasn’t been home in a few days.”

He felt guilty. As Baby purred along the brightly lit highways, ever closer to Stanford, Dean couldn't help feeling that for once, in a twisted way, fate was on his side.

Dean pushed the images of John in danger to the back of his mind. Deep down he knew Dad would be okay, he was too strong, too hard to break. Whatever the reason was for his absence, Dean was sure he was in control.

That's what he was telling himself to drown out the voice saying how happy he was he finally had a good reason to see Sam, after all this time. Not just super late, half drunk phone calls, where the real words he wanted to say never escaped Dean's lips, and Sam, patient but annoyed, just said,

“Dean I have to go. I uh...thanks for calling.”

And Dean would hear the long tone of the phone hung up, he'd cling to the receiver imagining Sam was still there.

“Hey man, I miss this, I miss talking.”

Dean would gulp and whisper the words aloud to the empty receiver.

“Me too Sam. I''m...I'm sorry, I wish I hadn't just let you go.”

Silence. In Dean's imagined scenario and in reality. Then imagined Sam's voice would croak,

“Miss you jerk.”

Dean's eyes watered, he didn't even remember pulling into this bay and picking up the phone. A quarter was still in the palm of his hand and the phone just had a low depressing hum coming from it.

He replaced the receiver with regret, forcing out a “Bitch”, to the quiet night.

AC/DC was cranked up full blast, Dean tapping the steering wheel. The only time he could truly escape was in the minutes of a song.

It freed his soul, getting lost in his rock and roll.

As he approached Stanford, his stomach felt like it was full of pins and with each swallow, more discomfort. He'd thought naively, that perhaps being near to Sam would help, his nerves would dissipate. But it was the opposite.

All he heard now was “Get lost, Dean.”

After 2 years the pain of that night hadn't really waned and sometimes, no, often, Dean wished that that had been the time he stood up to John and stood by Sam, followed his heart and not orders.

He pulled Baby into the side, switched her off and everything went quiet. No more escape.

It was fairly early, approaching 9pm, and students were bustling in and out of the building, most with carefree smiles on their faces since they were celebrating Halloween and Dean couldn't help but smile back at a few bloodied nurses and a particularly sexy werewolf in a shredded skirt.

He got cold feet, the ringing in his ears of rejection was too much and he hopped back into Baby and decided to kill some time at a nearby bar.

Dean fingered the rim of the glass for so long that by the time he took a sip, the whisky was warm. He had no idea how long he'd sat there until he glanced at the clock and it was almost midnight. A pang hit his chest. If he couldn't do it tonight, he never would.

He felt Sam slipping further away from him with every month that passed, every phone call that he never made or the few that were just going through the motions, though Dean often missed that there was an ache in Sam's voice that would surface when a memory of Dean came back, like holding him in the back of the impala when their Dad was angry or Dean making him laugh when he was bored waiting around in the 100th motel room that year.

But Dean missed these moments that Sam broke because he hated himself for letting him walk out that door so all he heard was blunt goodbyes and I have to go.

A few stragglers were hanging about when Dean arrived back and this time he pushed himself forward into the building after leaving Baby in the parking lot nearby.

He tried to keep his mind blank and at first it worked. A step at a time, a floor at a time, a door at a time. Until he reached Sam's dorm. He thought he heard faint laughter from inside. Sam was still up and it sounded like whoever he was with, they were having fun watching a corny horror movie together.

Dean glanced at his watch. 12:15am

The amulet glinted in the light of the corridor and it caught Dean's eye.

He grasped it gently in his hand, then let it go.

He pressed himself against the wall and closed his eyes. Flashes of Sam came to him. Long rides in Baby, scary times they were left alone and Dean guarded the door with a shotgun, putting on a brave face for Sammy, rare times they got to relax, just them and a bad movie and expired candy from the vending machine. Sat on the sofa they'd voice over the movie, make fun of it and laugh and for an hour or two they forgot monsters existed. It was just them. Seeing Sammy smile had always meant more to Dean than his own.

Dean inhaled deeply, opened his eyes and slid to the floor. A student passed by and barely took notice of him. Head in his hands, Dean struggled to think what he would say. . Dean sighed, why would Sam help him? He didn't stick up for him when he left and his stupid stupid phone calls, always after he had drunk too much...no wonder Sam never called him. Dean hoped that Sam knew he wasn't just following Dad's orders and being a good soldier. He'd follow Sam into Hell if he had to whether he was told to or not.

Sam, at that moment, thought of when he had slammed the door behind, wishing and praying that Dean would have followed him. He gulped and Jess looked at him softly.

“You okay?” “Yeah”, he smiled back.. “Just tired. Let's get some sleep huh?”

Jess nodded as he kissed her gently and they slowly rose to get ready for bed. He had no clue that Dean was sat just outside but the Winchesters always did have a kind of unfathomable connection.

The words clawed inside Dean's heart. Why couldn't he just say it? I need you man, I want my brother back.

Yes of course he was here for Dad too but this...he'd waited for this day for two years, a real excuse to come and get Sam.

It was like the good kind of possessed (if there is such a thing) Those times where you go on auto pilot, your body and surroundings don't feel real and the thing you were putting off you just do it, because it's not really you at that moment.

He just knew he couldn't take the option of knocking on the door and Sam telling him to get lost, a quiet heartbreak. No he had to go in all guns blazing. Drown out rejection with chaos.

Dean didn't remember when he chose to make a move, when he went to open the window nor did he feel like it was his feet walking around the dorm. The scuffle even was a blur.

But as soon as he heard, “Dean?” and was looking down at Sammy, the face he hadn't seen in 2 years, Dean felt heavy and present again, his hand on Sam's, this was real, there he is.

…...........................................................................................................................................................

 “Dad's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days.” Stay with me, Dean thought, I can't lose you, I'm begging you man, you're all I have, I want us to be together again, I miss you so much.

And Dean had flashed his trademark smile, though his heart hammered as he waited for Sam's response.

And Sam, despite the situation and concern over their Dad, had never felt happier to see Dean. Nothing compared. Not the moment when he beamed at him Christmas Day or seeing how much he loved the amulet, not when they had actually got to splash around in some motel pool for the entire day, not a care in the world, not when they pretended to be Ozzy Osbourne and put on a concert in some dingy motel living room, not when Dean had stayed by his side all night and calmly stroked his hair until he fell asleep and not even when he and Dean had taken Baby and driven to some out back town, played pool into the early hours and happy and giddy, returned to her, their home, and slept in the backseats, a smile on their faces after one of the best nights in a long time. No, not any of those memories could compare to this.

Sam realised, with how light his chest suddenly felt, how much he had missed his brother and that this night could turn out to be the best of his life. He couldn't see it being beaten.

But he didn't betray this on his face or in his words, he just silently thought, He came back. You came back.

And it was the bravest thing Dean had ever done for him.

[fictionalabyss]

Protector : Back to therapy.

Pairing : Dean x Reader, Sam, Alex (OC), Abby (OC)

Word count :  1,545

Warnings : Panic/fear,  stalking/following, pissed Dean, prison life : threat of solitary confinement. Series TW : Domestic Abuse is a constant topic- be it mentioned, or actually happening.

Continuation of this series was commissioned by : @iflostreturntosteverogers

Part 18 of Protector.

Masterlist • Patreon • Ko-fi.

“Mommy?”

You heard whispering as you started to wake up, eyes gently fluttering open just to close again a moment later. Opening them once more, you blinked a few times to get your vision straight. Down by the door you saw a familiar too tall figure with your young daughter in his arms. “Hey, baby.” you smiled. “Did you have fun with Uncle Sammy today?” She chatted away and you looked to Sam with a smile and a stretch. But as you started sitting up, you noticed you hadn’t seen your son. “Where’s Alex?” Sam didn’t answer. “Sam? Where’s my son.”

Sam put Abby down, letting her run off to play with some toys that were still scattered around the living room from earlier that morning.

“Where the fuck is my son, Sam?”  Panic and fury were taking over.

He opened his mouth to answer, but from outside you heard a bike pull in. Shooting up from the couch you rushed to the front door and pulled it open. He was killing the engine as you stepped down that first step. He stepped off the bike and looked up before pulling off his helmet. “Hey, mom.”

You rushed for him, wrapping your arms around him as tight as you could and held on to him like he’d get pulled away if you let up in the slightest.

“Mom?”

“You’re grounded.” you told him, letting the fear that had gripped you a moment ago leak into your voice. “You understand me? A week, Alex. You're at school or at home, no garage, John can find someone else.”

He didn’t fight you, didn’t argue. “Okay, mom.”

You pulled away, wiping at your face with your sleeve. “Go to your room.” Alex just nodded before heading inside, but you couldn’t follow him, not yet.

Sam stood in the open doorway behind you, watching you. “He left when you did.”

“Then why the fuck didn’t you call me?” you turned, snapping at him.

“You needed to relax.”

“I need to know my fucking son is okay. I trusted that he was with you! I trusted you to bring him home!”

“He went to Dean.”

“He- Are you sure?”

Sam nodded. “Dean called me. Only reason I came home without hunting his ass down, Dean told me he’d been there and Dean had talked some sense into him, got him to agree to stick with school. I knew he was on his way back home.”

“I didn’t want him to go.”

“That’s probably exactly why he went.” Sam pointed out.

“I didn’t want him to see Dean like that.”

“He’s seen Dean like that before..” You shook your head. “Dean’s been shot since you two have-”

“It was summer, Sam. Alex spent a week camping with his friend. Alex has never seen Dean bloody. Never seen him that broken.” you looked up meeting his eyes. “Dean is- he’s our protector. Alex’s dad, he was… nothing was worse than that to Alex. Nothing. And Dean.. Dean got rid of the big bad evil in our lives. He’s up on a pedestal, invincible almost, to Alex. He needed that to be true to get through it all, he needed to think that nothing could hurt Dean in order to feel like he was finally safe. So we never let him see it. He’s seen the scars and such, once they’ve healed but you know Dean, it's a story. He laughs and talks about how worse off the other guy is like it’s no big deal. He’s never seen Dean broken.”

Sam glanced back into the house quickly, seeing Abby still playing quietly with her toys on the floor, he stepped out and towards you, cupping your face in his hands and making you look up at him. There was so much pain and guilt in your eyes that it hurt him. “It’ll be okay.”

“Will it? He barely sleeps, I know the nightmares are back. He won’t say anything but I know they are. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to make it easier on him-”

“I’ll be taking him to therapy,” he promised. “I’ll drive him and walk him in there to make sure he goes. Once a week, right?” You gave Sam a nod. “You’re not alone, it’s not just you. I’m here.” You gave him another nod, trying to blink away the tears. “Right now, I’m going to head home. Gonna grab my shit, and Brutus and I are moving in.”

“Dean told you.”

“Yeah. Honestly, though, if you would have just asked I would have sooner. So, get ready for someone who drools on everything you love.” Sam gave you a half smile. “And Brutus.” His smile widened when he saw the light smile grace your lips despite your sadness.

“I’m used to the drool.”

“Yeah, I forgot Dean drools in his sleep.” Sam chuckled.

“I meant Abby.”  you rolled your eyes. “But yeah, he does, doesn’t he.”

“You good?” You gave Sam a nod. “Alright, I won’t be long. And don’t worry about dinner either, I’ll bring something in. It’s been a long day for everyone.”

“Thanks, Sam.”

“Anytime.” He gave you a chaste kiss on the forehead before he pulled away and headed for the car he’d driven Abby home in.

You watched Sam pull out of the driveway and start down the street. He gave you a smile and a wave as he went past, and you returned the smile before it fell from your lips again. Sighing, you were turning back towards your house when the car parked across the street caught your attention. The driver seemed to be looking down at his phone, his car still running like he was waiting for someone. Ignoring it, you turned and headed inside.

You were passing the living room window as the car pulled away and disappeared down the street.

“Alex!” Sam called out as he put the pizza box on the table. Abby was squealing from her chair at Brutus who was sniffing happily at her feet. You were bringing plates over to the table, smiling at Abby when Sam called out a second time. “Alex, come on, supper time.”

“Mom?” You turned, and Alex stood just inside the kitchen. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I took off on Sam without telling anyone I just-”

“I know.” You opened your arms and Alex stepped into the hug. “I was so scared when I woke up and you weren’t with Sam. Please, please don’t do that to me again.”

Alex nodded as he hugged you tight. “I’m sorry.”

“Sit and eat, both of you.” Sam motioned to the table as he sat. Alex pulled away and sat in his usual spot next to his baby sister. “No more shit, Alex.” Sam tried to sound like a stern Dean.

“I know. I’ll be in school tomorrow, no more skipping, I promise. I’m even working on catching up on my work.”

“Dean gave you an earful, huh?” you asked. Alex nodded, taking a slice of pizza and putting it onto his plate.

“I’m not just talking about school, Alex. You’re going back to therapy.” Alex looked to Sam. “Your mom already made the appointment. We’re going every Thursday.”

“We?” he looked from Sam to you.

“I’m going to take you.” Sam took a slice of pizza of his own.

“I can go on my own, I promise I won’t take off.”

“It’s not just that, Alex. I know Dean being gone is hard for you guys so I’m going to do what I can to show that I’m here for you. So Thursdays, I’ll drive you, I’ll wait for you, then we’ll stop somewhere after and have dinner. Sound good?” Alex nodded. “Good.”

“Dean gave you an earful too, huh?” Alex teased, making Sam smile.

“Something like that, yeah.” Sam chuckled. “But you two.. You really need to learn to ask for help when you need it. Or you’ll be getting and earful about that, too.” Sam smiled, glancing from Alex to you while bringing the pizza slice up to his mouth and taking a bite.

It was three days after seeing you that Dean got a letter in the mail call. The return address was nothing more than a PObox, no name. He wasn’t surprised to find it had been opened, of course they’d go through his mail, they went through everyone's mail.

Opening it up, he saw it was just pictures. No letter, no hint as to who sent it. Just pictures. Tossing the envelope onto his bed, he turned the pictures over and his face paled. That was his house. His family.

They were pictures of you and Sam standing out in the front yard. Your face in Sam’s hands as you looked up at him. He flipped to the next one and it was much the same. Your face in Sam's hands as he stood close to you. The third and final one, was Sam pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Son of a bitch.” Dean growled, throwing the pictures and turning to pace the room.

A bang sounded on his cell door. “Winchester! Calm down!”

“Fuck you!” Dean spat back at the guard.

“You want to go back to solitary, asshole?”

*If you like this, please consider supporting my work*

Tagging :  Protector : @jaycc7983 @volleyballer519  @meganlpie  @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo  @londoncallingbutiwontpickup    @valsworldofcreativity   @samsgirl93

Dean - @akshi8278  @adoptdontshoppets   @evyiione @karikatz12481 @idksupernatural  @deandreamernp

SPN -  @sandlee44  @just-another-busy-fangirl  @mrswhozeewhatsis   @deanandsamsbitch  @deans-baby-momma  @thebescht @67-chevy-baby @supraveng   @musiclovinchic93 @holyfuckloueh  @ksgeekgirl   @hobby27 @maddiepants  @roxyspearing @onethirstyunicorn    @fandom-princess-forevermore     @kalesrebellion   @deanwanddamons   @thoughts-and-funnies

All tags - @sorenmarie87 @artemisthebadger @winchesterprincessbride @iflostreturntosteverogers @akfonkin @rebelminxy @foxyjwls007 @onethirstyunicorn @shaelyn102 @supernaturalenchanted  @kazkingdom   @babypink224221  @emoryhemsworth    @ilovefanfic86  @pie-with-hunters   @anaelsbrunette @lazinessisalliknow  @feelmyroarrrr  @letsdisneythings   @cdwmtjb8   @notyourtypicalrose​  @xostephanie​ @ilovedeanspie​ @defenderrosetyler​ @amandamdiehl​

[kikikittykis]

You Belong in Your Universe

Summary: Eren, Mikasa and Armin get thrown into an alternate universe, when trying to find you, of course they find you, but both you and your brother have secrets.

Fandom: Supernatural and Attack on Titan

Pairing: Eren Yeager x Winchester! Reader

Characters: Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman, Armin Arlert, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, (Y/N) Winchester, Crowley (Mentioned) and John Winchester (Mentioned)

Genre: Fluff maybe a bit of Angst I don’t really know

Warnings: mention of sex, nothing explicit

Wordcount: 1 947

Note: Comment or send an ask for a part two, follow for more

Masterlist

Eren, Mikasa and Armin fell through the puddle of smoke. Then landed on concrete with a hard oomph on. “Are you guys okay?” Eren asked his best friends as they sat up from falling.

“I think so, but where are we?” Mikasa said “What about you Armin are you okay” Mikasa asked

“I think I am okay,” Armin replied to Mikasa as he looked around at their surroundings. Eren could faintly hear something coming from somewhere near them. The three of them made their way toward the noise and they heard.

“Dean, are you kidding me, slow down” A very familiar voice said.

“Why (Y/N) this pie is just too good” Another voice replied to you

“(Y/N)” Eren said, looking at Mikasa and Armin and then following the rest of the way to the voice.

“Eren wait” Mikasa said “This might not be our (Y/N), something weird is going on here” she said and Eren slowed down

“You’re right,” Eren said, agreeing  with Mikasa that this might not be the (Y/N) that they know. The (Y/N) that Eren loves with all is being and would do anything for. She had gone missing without a trace and then they had fallen through that smoke and now they were stuck in this unfamiliar area.

“(Y/N) tell me about that boy that you met when you were missing” The one apparently named Dean said

“I don’t feel like talking about Eren Dean especially to you” you said

“Ooo so his name is Eren then, why won’t you tell me about your lovelife anymore”

“Hmm maybe it’s because you threatened to shoot my last boyfriend or the fact that he’s from another dimension”

“What do you mean, Where were you”

“I mean that I was thrown into an apocalyptic alternate universe, where humanity is just barely holding on” “I joined an army, well The Scouts actually”

“So your boyfriend is he a scout then”

“Yeah he is, he’s similar to you”

“How is he similar to me”

“Well he has a similar drive like you and dad”

“You mean he has a similar reason to hunt like dad’s then”

“Yeah his mum was killed by a titan, just like dear old yellow eyes killed mom, just less planned” you said

“Eren did (Y/N) ever tell you about that” Mikasa asked Eren

“No but did mention that her brothers would like me, and I never heard the name yellow eyes before, But I remember another. I think it was Azazel” Eren said. Armin accidentally made noise by stepping the wrong way. They heard footsteps and the cocking of something metal behind them

“Who the hell are you, do you work for Lucifer” you said to them and the three of them turned around slowly and then

“(Y/N)” Eren said and you threw your hand out signaling to Dean to put down his gun. Dean put away his gun, but never lost eye contact with the three of them. “Oh thank god you are okay (Y/N)” Eren said and engulfed you in a bone crushing hug. “Why did you leave like that and where are we”

“Eren the portal opened so quickly, it was either to leave for here or stay, I’m sorry I couldn’t say goodbye, But welcome to Kansas, Lebanon Kansas to be exact” you said

“I never heard about Kansas in any books” Armin said

“That’s because it’s not in your universe”

“Wait are you saying that were in an alternate universe”

“Yes that is exact”

“What about doppelgangers” Armin asked

“You don’t want to meet them” you replied

“So you’ve met them before” Armin said

“What are doppelgangers?” Eren asked you

“Doppelgangers are alternate versions of you and I in another reality then their own, I have met your doppelgangers before” you said

“So their just like us then”

“Yes but with differences to character or backstory even appearances”

“So what are our doppelgangers like then” Eren asked

“Your doppelgangers are actually quite interesting, Other Eren kills all the werewolves who eat humans, Armin is the resident researcher and helps Bobby out and Mikasa is one of the best fighters we have on our team” “I don’t work very often with you guys, I went to High School with you guys though” “I wasn’t the closest with version of you guys”

“Well that’s bullshit you were sleeping with-” Dean started but you cut him off by elbowing him in the chest. “Ouch that hurt (Y/N/N)”

“Don’t call me that Dean”

“So who were you sleeping with” Armin asked

“I don’t think I should answer that” you said

“Oh come on it can’t be that bad” Eren said

“Fine I slept with Eren’s doppelganger back when we were in High School, we were drinking and one thing led to another, then we woke up in bed together naked in his bed together with really bad headaches and just blurry memories of the night” “God is this ever an embarrassing story” you said

“So you’ve slept with my doppelganger and you’ve slept with me”

“Yes Eren but I barely remember what I did in High School” “So can we please just move on” You begged

“Can we talk about this later” Eren asked

“Of course Eren just maybe not in front of the others” you said and then you heard Armin’s stomach rumble “So you guys hungry?”

“Slightly” Mikasa answered

“Definitely” Armin said

“So what are we eating?” Eren asked

“How about burgers?” you said

“What are burgers?” Armin asked

“You guys will like them I promise” you said “Follow us” you said. They followed you and Dean to the Impala. Where Dean got into the front seat.

“Well are you guys getting in” Dean asked

“What is that” Armin asked questioning what the Impala

“This is baby she’s a 1967 Chevy Impala-” Dean said as you interrupted with

“You guys this is what you call a car” you explained to them what Baby is. You told them how to get in a car and buckle up for the drive. You got into the passenger seat after the three of them were sitting in the backseat of the Impala.

“Hold on, I drive fast” Dean said

“Dean don’t scare them” you said

“Fine but I don’t drive slow” Dean said and put the car into gear pulling out of the parking lot and driving to the diner with the best Burgers and Milkshakes in town. Eren, Mikasa and Armin all looked scared being in a car for the first time in their lives.

“Don’t worry you guys driving in this car won’t kill you” you said to reassure them. Dean coasted through the town and pulled into the parking lot of the diner. The diner was older themed, it even had a jukebox and everything. The three of got out of Baby and kind of wobbly.

“That was so cool” Eren said

“I feel like I’m gonna be sick” Armin said

“Just walk it off you’ll be fine Armin” you said walking up to the doors of the diner.

“Take a seat anywhere you’d like, I will be with you momentarily” the waitress said to you as you walked into the diner. The five of you sat down at a table and the waitress came over with her notepad. You ordered for the three of them and yourself and then Dean ordered his meal. You hoped that they would like what you had ordered for them, since their doppelgangers had also liked what you had ordered them when they were there with you previously. The five of you chatted comparing the differences in your universe to their universe.

The waitress soon brought you all your food. “How do we eat this?” Mikasa asked

“Like this” you said and picked up your burger showing them how to eat it properly. They ate their burgers slowly but still happily.

“Is this meat?” Armin asked

“Oh yeah” you said taking another bite of your burger “It’s not rare in my universe”

“Really is that true”

“Yeah but you guys belong in your universe not mine, and I belong in mine”

“But you belong with me” Eren said

“I know that Eren but my universe needs me to keep it from dying” you said “so let’s just have some fun now and when the time comes we will go our separate ways Eren”

“I love you (Y/N) and I can’t lose you not again, when you went missing I was in shambles and I can’t lose you again please (Y/N)”

“(Y/N) I know that you love him, This world has Sam and I to protect it, your my sister and I never want you to leave but I can see that you love him, so go with them to their universe”

“Dean I could never leave you and Sam this is my proper universe”

“No (Y/N) you belong with Eren, So I want you to leave with them when they go back to their home, you belong in their universe”

“You think so Dean” you said

“Yes (Y/N) I want the best for you, Just promise me something”

“I want some nieces or nephews from you, even if I may never meet them”

“You will meet them Dean” you said

“You know I won’t, I’ll before I’m forty and go down guns blazing, we always knew this was how I’d end” Dean said “So let’s make the best of the time left in this universe with pie and milkshakes, How about it” Dean said with a smile

“Let’s do it,” you said and waved the waitress over to take your order.

The three of you laughed and had fun until it was the day to leave for the right universe. “Are you ready?” Dean asked you as you got ready to leave for the other universe with Eren, Mikasa and Armin.

“I’m gonna miss you squirrel”

“You too Doe” Dean said using the matching nickname that Crowley had given you.

“Dean, can you give this to our version of Eren” you said and handed Dean an envelope with Eren written in your handwriting on the front of it. You pulled your backpack over your shoulder and you walked into the war room of the bunker. Where the others were waiting. Sam had on his favorite flannel and was standing in front of Bobby’s old camera.

“Come on one last memory, before you leave” Sam said

“You got it Moose” you said and gathered everybody in front of the camera. Sam turned on the timer. Then quickly rushed to stand next to you with his hand on your shoulder. The camera flashed and took two photos, which printed out and Sam went and got them and handed one to you with the leather bound book from your childhood. “Sam is that Dads journal?” you asked

“We made a copy for Dean and I, but we want you to have the original, So you remember us”

“Sam, Dean I will always remember you” you said and you took the book and then broke out crying you engulfed Sam in a hug.

“We’ll miss you Doe” Sam said

“I’ll miss you too Moose and you Squirrel” you said and opened the portal. “When we win the war and beat the titans, I will see you again and just as I promised you Dean you will get a niece or nephew from me one day” you said and the four of you left for Eren, Mikasa and Armin’s universe. Knowing that there was a war that you needed to fight in and win.

[my-sherlock221b]

Supernatural Rewatch Ramblings: Bloodlust

2020-21 has been a huge transformative time for many of us. Whether we wanted it or not, we have been forced to stop, switch gears, rethink, reflect, let go, make new priorities, discover who we really are and who we want to be in the face of adversity.

One of those transformations for me has been giving up on control and finding a way to surrender to the power of the universe. Another has been to not let perfection be the enemy of good.

You may well wonder---What does all this have to do with the Bloodlust rewatch and review??!

Probably nothing LOL except for the fact that I still have to write up my review on Bloody Mary and have been unable to write for various reasons. And then because the Bloody Mary review was still incomplete I could not write about the next one etc etc etc.

So when we watched Bloodlust two days ago in the continuing re-watch, I decided that I am going to re-start the review, and from exactly where I am right now!

If time and life permits I might fill in the gaps later. If not, well, life is unpredictable and weird and we keep calm as it carries on….Thank you for coming to my Philosophy talk….:)

Read below for the Boodlust  review, Season 2 episode 3 and look out for the post from @soulmates-for-real​ on this rewatch too!! 

The opening scene is the perfect switch and bait because we as an audience have been trained to latch on to types and identities and representations.

Woman in white night gown screaming and running--victim

Person who brutally beheads her—villain.

A few minutes into the episode we realize that we were wrong.

A good few minutes later we realize that we were wrong about being wrong.]

Haha.

We are idjits, swept away on the eddies and currents of this masterfully written and directed episode. Thank you Sera Gamble and Robert Singer!

The acting and the mesmerizing beauty of the two leads is worthy of an entire essay of its own but in order to have a life and finish this review I shall only say this—Oh my goodness HOW gorgeous is Jensen Ackles?!!

It is sometimes impossible to look at him in this episode because my eyes didn’t know where to land! That perfect face? The lips? Those eyes?? The quirk of the eyebrows? Those micro expressions that are constantly weaving across his face? The smile? The way his lips move when he talks?? His hair? The Samulet?

And then the shot pans out and includes his hand and the ring and honestly it’s a miracle I could follow the plot at all.

So the images I am going to include in this review, much as I love Sam Winchester and Jared Padalecki, are all of Dean Winchester. It’s a criminal waste to not do so when the man is just an ode to perfection.

*

Sheila O’Malley’s review of this episode is in itself a work of art and a thing of beauty so I will direct you most enthusiastically towards it and only add here my little pennyworth bits. Do click on this link but be prepared to sink into a one hour read which will make you feel like you were dropped into the episode itself.

https://www.sheilaomalley.com/?p=87187

Here is a quote from her review which is so insightful.

These are the details that a director like Robert Singer never misses, and at this point his relationship with Ackles and Padalecki would be almost telepathic (it’s probably 100% telepathic now). He has said before that he and Kripke were such a good team because Kripke’s primary concern is Plot/Gore/Horror and Singer’s primary concern is Character/Relationship. And they both end up in the same place. It’s a good mix. If Singer were also Plot/Gore/Horror focused, we wouldn’t have the depth of relationship which is the real point of the show, its real hook.

*

For a much briefer and far less technically adept and analytical review, read on here!

*

The opening of this episode shows us the Impala from every possible angle. Gleaming, gorgeous, road -worthy. This is mirrored by Dean. He is also gleaming, gorgeous and roadworthy. He is in a happy mood that not even Sam’s little brother snitty comments can deflate.

Here is the soundtrack of this episode for those who are interested.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0835248/soundtrack

Here is some random but fun trivia:

Dean tells Sam in one scene "If it's     Supernatural, we kill it." One of the rare times the title of the     show is actually spoken in the dialogue.

This is the first episode where Sam began parting his     hair down the middle, the hairstyle he'd keep the rest of the series.

( I didn’t like his hair too much in this episode honestly but then again I could barely see anyone beyond Dean :D)

During the filming of this episode Jared injured his     hand when he fell badly during a stunt. He thought it was merely sprained     and went straight into filming the next episode without having it checked.     But it got more and more painful and finally he went to the doctor and     discovered that his hand was, in fact, broken. Because he had already     begun filming, he couldn't bandage the hand until filming for that episode     was finished. The writers ended up writing in an accident for Sam and his     line "I think she broke my hand" to explain the fact that for     the following few episodes he would be wearing a cast.

When Dean kills a vampire, blood is sprayed on his     face, mostly on his right cheek. In the next shot the pattern is     different, and notably the right cheek is almost clean. Furthermore, his     mouth was agape when he made the kill, risking the blood getting into his     mouth and turning him into a vampire. While the brothers didn't yet know     how a vampire is made at that point, Gordon did and should have been     alarmed that Dean might have gotten some of the blood in his mouth.

*

A random behind the scene shot from the episode:

Guess who she is? Apparently this is Jensen’s sister in a super brief role in Bloodlust!

* 

On to the review, or rather some of my thoughts during the re-watch.

The first scene with the Sheriff they are interrogating him about the cattle mutilations is hilarious. The way they bluff their way into the morgue is hilarious. Dean always leading and Sam following.

Random trivia: When Dean enters the morgue with Sam and sees the name tag of "J Manners", it has been thought the name was to honor Jeffrey Dean Morgan and series producer Kim Manners. Dean guesses "John" - Jeffrey's character name - and the intern corrects with "Jeff"

*

It a testament to the way Supernatural has trained its audience that we barely blink when they pull out a decapitated head in the morgue, squabble over who is more chicken, dig into the mouth and eventually discover vampire fangs.

Yes, of course they do.

*

Next scene: Two hot guys walk into a bar…..

…….where the adorable Benny, who is not Benny in this episode but a random dude ( spoilers—later we find out the dude is a vampire), gives them directions/ mis- directions to a possible vampire nest.

We see the first glimpse of Gordon Walker, amazingly played by Sterling K. Brown, and making us worry about and dislike him almost right away. The way he is shown with the light and shade bars on his face from the window blinds is so menacing.

The next few scenes continue to build that sense of unease where the Winchester brothers, apparently telepathically, decide to double back and catch him following them, then he shows them his car and his weapons, where he references their dad and then refuses their offer for help.

The scene where he shows them his car is like a painting. (The car by the way is just as inconspicuous as the Impala –which is to say NOT AT ALL!! How do these people stay below the radar of the regular law enforcement is a mystery….).

The dust highlighting the rays of light, the two brothers on one side of the car and Gordon at the other, it’s all so consciously set up for a few seconds worth of screen time. Impressive!

Next comes a truly brutal kill, at Dean’s hands, which we don’t even see except as a spray of blood on his face. Poetic! But it is Dean’s expression that makes my stomach clench. His eyes are dead and he is somewhere deep that even Sam can’t reach, as we can see from the distress on Sam’s face.

Gordon of course is all chipper and full of bonhomie and offers to buy them drinks.

That following scene is the one which gives Wincest brother-wives vibes like 100%.

*

Sam plays the role of the disgruntled ‘wife’ to perfection. No one but hubby is allowed to use the nickname. He hates the male bonding going on with Gordon and the more Gordon seems to slip into Dean’s inner circle, the more uncomfortable Sam gets, until he finally decides that he just cannot physically be there any more.

Dean’s smug expression when Sam tells Gordon off for calling him Sammy, his instant worry at Sam going back alone, his hand raised in exasperation to convey to Gordon—look what I have to put up with-- the tossing of the keys to his car----it is all a symphony of Dean playing his part in the brother-wives orchestra.

The last line?! ‘Remind me to beat the buzzkill out of you later.’ And Sam’s expression at that? That’s exactly the way a bullying /abusive husband would react to a nagging wife who doesn’t like his toxic friends and wonders how he can be so blind as to not see them for the bad influence they clearly are.

( Bad Dean!!!)

Sam goes back to the motel and does his due diligence by checking with Ellen, gets kidnapped by vampires, released and on his return is disgusted to find Gordon inside their motel room.

*

The next scene is where Dean erupts, having clearly had enough of the shifting power dynamics between them over the evening. Sam has been silently judging him since the kill and Gordon has managed to ‘other’ Sam and make Dean feel validated in his own bloodlust as a hunter.

Dean clocks Sam one.

Wow. I did not see that coming. And what shocked me at this re- watch is that Sam just takes it.

Like an abused wife, he just takes it. Not only that, sometime later in the episode he tells Dean to hit him again if it is going to make him feel better.

NO Sam! NO!!! This is NOT healthy and this is NOT the way to deal….ugh. Sigh.

*

Then the second half of the episode swings in and the moral dilemma they face becomes clear when the victim and villain switch roles and Dean is shook enough to question his dad’s judgement!

Dean is still kind of trying to give Gordon the benefit of the doubt even though he sees him literally torturing the vampire. But of course all bets are off the instant he touches Sam. Dean pulls his gun on him. I was surprised that he didn’t shoot him just on principle later simply because he hurt Sam even if it was a small cut.

That is Dean’s definition of monsters-- Anything that hurts Sam. 😊

*

We don’t know it at this time, and spoilers ahead, but maybe Dean has been so annoyed and violent with Sam at the idea that he is standing up for MONSTERS is because he might also be one….and the way he looks at the end when he realizes that his whole life’s philosophy has been upended.

There are the details about the vampires who drink cattle blood so they don’t harm humans and therefore want to be treated as the good guys. Of course it is all about the inherent struggle between who you are and what you do—something that shows up hugely magnified in the later seasons when Sam is struggling with his own demon blood addiction and the knowledge of the demon blood inside him.

He needs desperately to believe in this as the utmost foundation stone of his life and its purpose—what you DO is more important than what you ARE!

So even if you are a monster, if you don’t behave like one—that is your redemption.

But it’s not just anybody whose faith he wants in his struggle to prove to himself that he is not a monster. He needs it from Dean.

Remember the dialogue from the panic room “Don’t you say that to me. Don’t YOU say that to me.”

And the fake voicemail set up by Zachariah exploits this at the time of the breaking of the last seal.

*

Of course he doesn’t know any of this yet, but that’s Sam fucking Winchester for you –always purer and better than his circumstances allow. Always struggling to do better, be better.😍

*

It is fascinating how the visuals and the roles these two play are of rugged handsome men, badass heroes-- Dean of course super macho role playing all the time. But there are so many layers upon layers and honestly if it wasn’t for Jared and Jensen’s fine nuanced and impeccable acting adding depth to the characters, the show would not have held our interest for this long.

We are shown Sam as the brains with his lore and research, but then in the very next episode (Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things), we see Dean connect dots faster than Sherlock Holmes.

Dean is shown as the instinctively violent one with the gun under his pillow, trigger happy, and in this episode even that brutal kill of the vampire on the docks. But then please remember the way Sam kills Gordon finally. Or the insane way he bites himself to get blood for drawing sigils. Or the way he just simply shoots the crossroads demon point blank!

We see Sam as the soft hearted one and he does rescue kids once in a while, but he is never shown to bond with them even a fraction of the way Dean does—so effortlessly. Also the ladies of course, all of whom have a soft spot for Dean. The exceptions being Sarah and Madison, both of whom completely ignored Dean. Oh and that doctor from Sex and Violence.

Dean has had his share of bad dates of course with Cassie, the woman who gave birth to his magical superfast growing daughter ( who was killed by Sam), and the whole Lisa arc, but somehow we are shown Sam as the one who is invested in relationships. Hello?! Sam was planning to marry Jessica without having told her a thing about his life while Dean told Cassie the secret as soon as he thought he was in love and wanted a relationship.

So anyway, just to say that a rewatch is so brilliant because we know more about them at this point than they do and the character arc is such a thing of beauty to see unfolding!

*

That last scene where Dean is in a thoughtful frame of mind, the sun is rising overhead ( as a metaphor for him seeing the light, maybe?)--that insanely gorgeous shot of Dean with the ring of fire and light and his absolutely perfect face in a close up…sigh.

Then he thanks Sam for pushing him to see this grey area and for the first time in that episode Sam finally smiles.

His big brother is back with him.

And then he commits to Dean too. Ah…how it warms my heart to hear this dialogue!

 DEAN I wish we never took this job. It's jacked everything up.

SAM What do you mean?

DEAN Think about all the hunts we went on, Sammy, our whole lives.

SAM Okay.

DEAN What if we killed things that didn't deserve killing? You know? I mean, the way Dad raised us...

SAM Dean, after what happened to Mom, Dad did the best he could.

DEAN I know he did. But the man wasn't perfect. And the way he raised us, to hate those things; and man, I hate 'em. I do. When I killed that vampire at the mill I didn't even think about it; hell, I even enjoyed it.

SAM You didn't kill Lenore.

DEAN No, but every instinct told me to. I was gonna kill her. I was gonna kill 'em all.

SAM Yeah, Dean, but you didn't. And that's what matters.

DEAN Yeah. Well, 'cause you're a pain in my ass.

SAM Guess I might have to stick around to be a pain in the ass, then.

DEAN Thanks.

SAM Don't mention it.

Transcript here http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/index.php?title=2.03_Bloodlust_%28transcript%29

 Guess Sam does stick around for the next 15 years to be a pain in the ass 😊

Some quotes from the writers about this episode: 

·  "The episode was really about what Dean would become if he didn't watch out: that Gordon was Dean in ten years if Sam didn't ask the difficult questions and keep him from getting too militant." - Executive story editor Sera Gamble

· "We set out to create a monster episode where you weren't entirely sure whether these monsters should be killed." - Eric Kripke

· "For me, the show is at its best when the supernatural story reveals something new about the brothers, or forces them to change in some way. Sam and Dean's realization that they've basically been raised as 'monster racists' was really meaty stuff. Exploring these characters' flaws is just as important as showcasing their heroism - these are the things that make them human, that make us invest in them." - Raelle Tucker

Check out this site for more amazing trivia and stuff

http://www.jonescave.com/supernatural/Episode/Episode.php?s=2&e=3#PopCulture

I have already finished watching the next episode ‘Children’s Shouldn’t play with Dead Things’….so let’s hope I get around to writing a review sometime soon !

[blueaura]

Lost and Found Ch. 3

A/N: Hey guys, just trying my hand out at this fanfic thing. I love reading everyone’s stuff and decided to write something myself. I’m fairly new to Tumblr so any tips or suggestions are highly appreciated. Let me know if y’all like it and would like me to continue. Feedback would be amazing. Thank you and happy reading.

Summary: Sam and Dean meet a young hunter who is a little rough around the edges and they reluctantly take her under their wing. But she might be a little more connected to them that any of them realise.

Word count: 1.9k

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Chapter 3

16 years ago

It was a slow night. Dean had been scouting out players for half an hour, but no one seemed to be in the gambling mood. Finally giving up, he walked up to the bar, ordered a beer and started to look around. If he couldn’t get money, he could at least get lucky.

“Son of a bitch!” Dean softly swore under his breath, a smirk appearing on his face as he walked towards his target, sitting in the corner of the bar. He didn’t know how he missed it, missed her. What he did know was that his night was about to get a hell of a lot better.

“If it isn’t little Sandy L/N,” Dean had a shit-eating grin on his face as he walked towards her table and paused in front of her, “Always late to the party L/N.”

Sandra looked at Dean with the complete opposite expression. Her usually stoic face was pulled into a scowl as she registered what the hunter was saying.

“You got the werewolf.”

“I got the werewolf,” Dean reiterated, causing Sandra’s frown to deepen. She’d driven for over 8 hours for this hunt.

“Don’t be so mad Sandy, after all, the wolf is dead and it looks like both of us have some free time on our hands now.” Dean’s suggestion wasn’t subtle at all. He made a show of looking at her from head to toe and wriggled his eyebrows playfully.

Sandra sighed. Dean was 5 years younger than her but they always seemed to have a good time. Both parties knew that it was just sex and that was the way she preferred it, but Dean had also just ruined her hunt and she was tempted to turn him down. Looking at him again though, she reconsidered. Angry sex was tempting too.

“Buy me a drink and we’ll see.” That was basically Sandy-talk for ‘Yes, we can have sex but I’m not gonna make it easy for you, asshole’ and Dean knew it.

All in all, it was a fun night. And morning. And afternoon. She left that evening and that was the last time he’d heard from her. After that, he thought about her from time to time but she never did like giving her number to other hunters. Then John disappeared, Jess dies and the world went to shit.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d thought about her. Until now.

 Present

Dean was too lost in his memory to realise that Sam had been calling his name for a few minutes. Y/N looked at Dean suspiciously. Dean’s reaction to her mother’s name confused her. As far as she knew, her mother didn’t know the Winchesters. She had even warned Y/N on several occasions about the dangers of mixing with the Winchesters. Sandra wasn’t one to mince words, and she didn’t have anything good to say about the infamous hunters. If she had known them, she surely would have told Y/N. The woman had loved to brag.

“Sandy’s dead?” he whispered softly.

So, needless to say she was completely blindsided with Dean’s reaction. He almost sounded … sad, which was weird because her mother wasn’t a person who usually invoked that emotion in people. Anger – yes, frustration – sure. But sadness? Because of her death?

“You knew my mother.” It wasn’t a question but Dean answered anyway.

“Yeah. We were … friends? Sort of.” Dean swore softly under his breath, processing the new information.

Y/N was quiet for a moment.

“Wait a minute. She didn’t have a kid the last time I saw her. She was in town alone, on a case. She stayed with me for almost a day.”

Sam’s brain started working in over drive.

“How long ago was this?” he asked his brother.

“15? 16 years ago?”

Sam looked at Y/N, jaw clenching just for a second.

“Y/N? How old are you exactly?”

Shit, Y/N thought. Well, it was fun while it lasted.

She entertained the idea of lying but discarded it immediately. Dean was now analysing her, looking for clues most likely. She sighed and reluctantly mumbled the answer.

“You’re gonna have to be louder than that sweetheart.”

“15, alright? I’m fifteen.”

The reaction was almost immediate. Both of them were looking at her incredulously and swearing like sailors.

“Jesus kid! What the hell are you doing? Trying to get yourself killed?” Dean was almost yelling at her, berating her for hunting at such a young age, which she thought was a little hypocritical but go off, I guess.

In the middle of all the commotion, Y/N suddenly realised that there was only one voice yelling. Sam was looking at her intensely, taking in every detail, a peculiar look on his face. Before she could ask him what the hell was wrong with him, he softly called out to Dean.

He was still yelling so Sam called out again.

“Dean!” Finally, Dean stopped, turning towards Sam. Before he could say anything, Sam started talking.

“How long ago did you say you last saw Sandra?” Sam had an urgency in his tone that confused the hell out of Y/N. She couldn’t figure out where he was going with this.

Dean paused at Sam’s question.

“About 16 years, why?”

Sam just looked at his brother meaningfully, further confusing Y/N. Apparently, Dean saw where Sam was going with this.

“Oh, hell no! Fuck. No! You’re crazy,” Dean scoffed.

Sam just glared at him. “So, you’re saying you two didn’t?”

“Of course, we did Sammy! But, I’m not an idiot! We used protection.”

Protection?

“Woah, woah, woah! Rewind an-and freeze! Protection? You slept with my mother?” Y/N’s voice grew shriller towards the end of the sentence, making Dean wince and look away in embarrassment.

“That’s gross. I did not need that image in my head!”

She started pacing the small room. Suddenly she came to a stop.

“Wait, why is this relevant anyway?”

Sam glanced at Dean again, who started shaking his head fervently.

“Dude, stop it. I don’t know what is wrong with your brain, maybe you have a concussion but you need to quit this line of thinking right now. You’re freaking me the fuck out,” Dean snarled.

Realisation hit Y/N like a tonne of bricks. What Sam was insinuating, why the timing was important.

“You think Dean is my father?!” It was her turn to look at Sam incredulously. She started laughing. She couldn’t help it. The idea that Dean Winchester was her father was hilarious.

“You said you never knew your dad,” Sam pointed out, ignoring her cackling.

“So? That doesn’t automatically mean Dean is my father Sam, geez.”

“You also said that he was a hunter,” Sam was determined to at least get them to consider the possibility.

“There are a lot of hunters out there!” Y/N was almost hyperventilating at this point. It was too much. Too soon.

“Sammy, shut up,” Dean said firmly. This was not the time for this. Y/N was clearly overwhelmed. Sam noticed and a flash of guilt crossed his eyes.

“Look, all I’m saying is that there is a very real possibility that you two are related. Tell me I’m wrong and I’ll back off, alright? Tell me you don’t see it,” Sam said, softly this time. Dean looked at Y/N. She did look like him, or maybe he was imagining things that weren’t there. Maybe it was just a coincidence and he was investing himself into this for no reason, but he had to know. Now that there was a seed of doubt in his head, he wouldn’t be satisfied until he got a real answer.

“Y/N,” Dean called her softly, “look kid, I’m not saying I’m your father. God knows I don’t know how to be one. But I know that you see the coincidences piling up too. Why don’t we figure this out and if Sammy is wrong, we can laugh in his face about all this. And if he isn’t … well we’ll deal with that too.”

She didn’t say anything for a long time, both brothers holding their breath.

“I don’t care,” she snaps, “I have survived without a family my whole life. I don’t need a father. I don’t want a father. Family is poison and I don’t want any part of it. So, I couldn’t care less about biology. I don’t want to know.”

She goes to storm out of the room, barely able to look at the hurt expression on their faces. Before she can reach the for the handle, Dean’s voice booms through the room.

“Well I do. I need to know if I have a damn daughter who I failed. I need to figure this out or I’m gonna go crazy. So, here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna get a damn paternity test and put a lid in this argument until we do. But before all that, we’re gonna come back to the fact that you’ve apparently been hunting alone for the past four years. Do you have any idea how fucking dangerous that is? Me and Sam, we’ve been doing this for years, but we still always take back-up! Because hunting alone is dangerous, and reckless, specially for someone who is new to the field. I’m not gonna berate you for your age, God knows I was younger than you when I first started. Its shitty but it happens. But even I was never dumb enough to hunt alone.”

Y/N was getting a whiplash from the change in the conversation. One minute they’re demanding paternity tests, and the next they’re yelling at her about her life choices.

“First of all, we aren’t getting any tests done because one, I’m in the system and you’re supposed to either be dead or are wanted by the FBI, and two, I don’t want to! And you don’t get to dictate how I live my life. You’re barely an acquaintance, not even a friend. So back the fuck off.”

She knew she was being harsh. But she needed them away from her, out of her life. They represented hope – hope for a safe haven, hope for a family, and she didn’t want any part of it. It was better to be alone than set yourself up for more pain.

Dean was quickly losing his patience.

“Look, you have 2 options. You can either come with us and we can figure all this out, at your pace, or I can give Jody a call and she can arrange for you to live with her. She’s already fostering 3 girls and she’d be happy to take you in. You won’t be able to run away from there either, which is great.”

She glared at him.

“I know what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to make us angry so that we abandon you. I know all the tricks in the book kiddo, you ain’t fooling me that easily. I don’t know if I’m actually your father but I’ll be damned if I let you go off on your own again. You can either come with us or go to Jody. Choice is yours.”

With that, Dean stormed off to search for a bar. It had been a long day and he needed a damn beer.

Chapter 4 

TAGS:  @vicmc624​ @buttercookiemachoman​  @carisi-sonny​ @link--in--bio

If anyone else would like to be tagged, please send me an ask (: Thanks for reading!

[amwritingmeta]

15x14: Striking A Balance

This is late. I fell behind. Life happens. I still haven’t watched 15x15. Gah! But now to some thoughts on 15x14...

I thought this was a great episode the first time I watched it. Then I thought it was a bloody fantastic episode the second time I watched it, and the third time… well, it just gets better and better. I’m thoroughly looking forward to the final six. I hope you are too. 

I hope you’re as well as you can be and that you’re not living in a stress bubble. They’re the worst. I’d hand you a big old needle if I could. Maybe this meta can be some sort of needle (for popping), because at least I don’t feel the ending of this show is anything we need to stress about. I do believe it’s going to be utterly spectacular. *all the faith*

So I spent a chunk of lockdown watching this show of ours. I started at 12x19 (that episode still makes me tremble with its sheer brilliance) through to 15x13, and felt an overwhelming satisfaction at the evenness of the storytelling for these last three-ish seasons. 

A brief breakdown of three years of meta writing would be: Dean has been pushed to face, recognise and dismantle his internalised toxic masculinity traits aka his Shadow (which has been the root of unhealthy coping mechanisms and an inability to put down boundaries, communicate openly and handle his emotions), he’s been pushed to see the strength and power of his feminine traits (his nurturing side, his compassion, his protective nature) through being put in situations where he’s had no choice but to open up to being honest with himself, in turn bringing him on a course to him handling his emotions better, as well as the narrative giving us moments where he’s gotten the chance to acknowledge and embrace his neglected inner child. 

Yes, Jungian doctrine runs like a river through it, what can I say? I’m a fan.

With Dean as our protagonist, Sam and Cas are both on mirroring journeys, though Sam is Dean’s mirror opposite and Cas is Dean’s mirror likeness. It doesn’t take away from the individual journeys of Sam and Cas: it’s just that their choices and their progression are not determining the course of the narrative. Rather, their choices and progression work to underline and highlight Dean’s growth. Sam and Cas are main characters, but they’re not driving the core of the plot. 

Make sense? Cool!

Especially as this also means that Dean’s progression is pivotal for all three of them to actually reach… well, since it’s a word used twice this season why shouldn’t we just go with it? — completion. 

Which is why my eyes are happily peeled for Dean having moments that display a deepened sense of self-understanding (like his prayer to Cas, where Dean put words on the anger he’s always feeling and how he doesn’t know why or where it’s coming from) (an enormous step toward actually dealing with that emotion) (as self-deception through denial caused by fear of weakness tied to fear of rejection and fear of failure — that’s a mouthful — has always formed Dean’s biggest internal obstacle) because neither Sam nor Cas should, when we look at the narrative as a whole, be able or allowed to reach full completion (or individuation, to use Jungian terms) without Dean getting there first, or at least being shown to be well on his way to getting there.

This episode then is more of an epicsode, because, man, do we get to explore balanced!Dean, and it’s all through Jack: the narrative representation of Dean’s inner child.

Oh, yeah. Way I see it, Jeremy Adams brought us right back to the threads he was pulling on in Scoobynatural. *bless his brain* Only this time he’s pushed it a step further and rather than Dean simply facing his inner child—as (14x16 whoops I mean) 13x16 opened up that can of worms—now, in 15x14, Dean is forced to properly acknowledge and embrace that inner child. I mean. The mind crackles. The feels are cascading like a waterfall over a great cliff. The excitement, people, is real.

Let’s dig in!

Sam and Dean

They were glorious this episode!!

So Sam ended up tortured a little, but that was because he was shooting first, asking questions second, and sure, Mrs. Butters had gone a bit crazy, but as he learned: it wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t her nature, the crazy had been torture-nurtured into her.

And Dean was faced with yet one more reminder of how kindness, compassion and protectiveness can go haywire when there’s influence from toxic masculinity (aka Cuthbert Sinclair) pushing someone into a position of mistrust, insecurity and need for control. 

Let me reiterate the fact that when I’m talking masculine/feminine I’m not tying these concepts to gender, though of course these concepts have been tied to gender traits to the point of brainwashing people into thinking they should dictate what is male and what is female. (mental) Rather I mean all of our internal masculine/feminine traits that need to find balance if we are each to feel happy and content as human beings. 

It’s Tao, and it’s Jung, and it’s beautiful. Is all I’m saying. 

Digression.

My point is that in spite of sorting stuff out in their individual arcs, the brotherly relationship was depicted awesomely this episode, with Dean being 1000% supportive of Sam going to get itches scratched with Eileen, to the point of feeling he would rather just handle the sudden turn of events and this new threat by himself, than disrupt Sam and Eileen’s fun times (and by “fun times” I mean sex), and Sam going along for the joyride of holiday celebrations, home cooked meals and the supportive, warm and caring mother figure that they’re both, again, missing in their lives.

Sam was submissive this episode, following Dean’s opinions on how to best handle Jack (even with Dean being disastrous in the past when stating what Jack needs) which is somewhat frustrating, because Sam has so much more in him, but he also got to show that humongous heart of his, where he understood the root cause of Mrs. Butters’ behaviour and showed compassion, rather than judgement. His compassion has always been one of his most formidable strengths. 

And, of course, Sam had to ride sidesaddle this episode because if he was putting up any sort of protest—regarding accepting Mrs. Butters as part of the bunker or how best to deal with Jack— Dean wouldn’t have gone through the push for progression, delivered through the representation of his inner femininity that is Mrs. Butters, but primarily through the representation of (and here we go into the deeper digging) his inner child—Jack.

Dean and Jack

You know, end of the episode Dean states what is evident throughout: he’s trying. 

In the opening scene he asks Sam if Jack’s come out of his room, and then he’s the one who goes and knocks on Jack’s door to warn him about Mrs. Butters, placing trust in Jack that he can handle it and will call them if anything gets weird, and he cajoles Jack to come out with the promise of snickerdoodles. All of this subtly shows us that Dean knows what Jack is suffering, and we can be sure of that because we know he’s been there enough times.

The guilt, the self-blame, as well as the self-doubt underpinning it all, making it difficult to forgive. 

Because, thing is, Jack is struggling to forgive himself. To accept that it was an accident. He’s waiting for Dean’s forgiveness to give him a marker for whether it’s okay for him to even begin to forgive himself, which is understandable on all the levels of his character progression, but especially when looking at him as a representative of Dean’s inner child.

So then, why is Dean acknowledging, embracing and nurturing his inner child important?

Because, when looking at the narrative from the angle where it’s filled with symbolisism to do with Dean’s internal journey (and by extension the internal journeys of all the characters), then Dean’s progression, and especially lack there of, has been closely tied to the fact that he never got to be a kid. 

He had to grow up fast, got responsibility put on him that was way out of proportion for a four year old child, had to be a father and a mother to his younger brother, and learned to repress and suppress his childish urges, wants and needs through unhealthy coping mechanisms in order to dress himself in the image of the strongerst person that he’s ever known: his father.

(which is a misnomer because there was plenty of weakness to John Winchester) (especially how he was a highly emotional man who spent the years after his wife’s death driven by grief, but hammered it into his eldest son that emotions are weaknesses that will get you killed and you should control them to the point of barely being able to recognise them anymore) 

It’s imperitive for Dean to deal with the neglect he suffered in his childhood, rather than ignore it, if he’s ever going to be able to let those wounds heal over. And letting them heal over is important because pushing down trauma leaves it room to influence our choices and to keep us in old patterns of behaviour. Because self-denial and self-neglect is where our Shadow lives and thrives—our unconscious gaining power over us and dictating our behaviour even as we’re unaware of it.

Remember how Jack swallowed Michael? Remember how Michael was Dean’s Shadow representative? It’s not by accident that what Dean has left to confront, fully, is self-trust, self-forgiveness and finding his way to real self-love, symbolically given to us in this narrative through his treatment of Jack.

Because Jack is the final piece of Dean’s internal puzzle: his inner child in need of some real TLC.

So then, what does Dean need in order to be able to show Jack aka himself some real TLC?

Mrs. Butters

Ah, yes, of course what Dean needs most is to engage with his internal femininity. 

Mrs. Butters represents Dean’s suppressed and repressed longing for more in life, for a home, for love, and the only reason there’s been a need to suppress and repress this longing is to due with what he was taught as a child and throughout his formative years, actively by his father, and unconsciously by the way he was never taught or shown how to deal in any type of healthy way with the loss of his mother. 

Mrs. Butters as our representative of positive femininity then shows us as the audience how Dean, in his heart of heart, wants to believe that he can have good things in his life. That he deserves them. 

Mrs. Butters shows us that what Dean needs is to allow himself to feel joy, without expecting it to flip at a moment’s notice into feeling loss. 

And yes, I realise where the episode ends, but perhaps the feeling of joy wouldn’t flip if the lesson was learned in full and Dean knew how to trust and simply let go of the undercurrent of fear that the flip is lurking somewhere just around the next bend. 

What this episode shows us is that he’s just not quite there yet, but omg the threshholding is intense.

Because Mrs. Butters underlines that what Dean needs, more than anything, is to practice trust. Dean needs to practice opening up. Dean needs to practice letting go of his need for control. 

He can still be in charge of a situation, without thinking it’s all on him always.

Now, the episode highlights this in a rather glorious way, by trapping him in a room, under threat, knowing Sam is about to walk into the situation, and deciding not only is he not going to call Sam for help, he’s not even going to text him a heads up.

Look. This might be a plothole here. Jeremy Adams might have been so focused on the joke of Dean not wanting to interrupt Sam’s sexy times that he didn’t realise the implactions of Dean not even sending a text to warn Sam that he was essentially heading home to a dangerous situation, yeah? 

But the rather lax attitude of the brothers this episode: letting Mrs. Butters stay, and both of them neglecting the need for them to look into her backstory further, because they both got so distracted by holiday celebrations and her amazing cooking, combined with the hopscotch way they approach getting rid of her, all this is intentional enough for me to lean into the reading of Dean’s need to practice trust being explored in awesome ways.

Because Dean needs someone to take the load off, and Mrs. Butters does this in spades. 

What with how she brokers zero arguments, immediately getting him to clean up his language, and I mean, Dean then defying this is a moment of awesomeness and of course we all want him to continue being midly CW foulmouthed, but for all intents and purposes, he succumbs to her chastising quickly, and she gets him to open up to the joy of the moment via holiday celebrations, and, to top it all off, she gets him to eat healthier.

The fact that she��s introduced folding his underwear, and then goes on to tell him that she wouldn’t have had to if he’d just done it right to begin with, is fairly epic. (verrryy epic) As is her giving Dean the nightshirt from Scoobynatural. Obviously! He’s wrapped in hugs! Purple hugs! And having Dean dressed in purple and eating vegetables in the same episode is enough to make one’s head explode.

*head* *ex* *ploded*

Balance. Is why my head is exploding. The purple and the vegetables are indications of growing internal balance. *yes please and thank you!*

I loved them celebrating Sam’s birthday and Dean having specific requests for his, Mrs. Butters dismissing him with how she thought he’s too old to want to celebrate. It was such a moment of reminding Dean that he’s not supposed to regress, he’s not to forget that he is, in fact, an adult, and nurturing his inner child is about letting go of the need for the childhood he never had—which is keeping him from properly having the adult life he deep down yearns for. 

(and then this reminder was followed by a moment of kindness) (as there already were rice crispie treats waiting for him) (and his eager little face!) *heart eyes*

There was so much to love about Mrs. Butters, though!

Like the big bowl of crispy bacon on the breakfast table and her encouraging Sam to enjoy the world he’s fighting for, the waxing of Baby (!!), the introduction of the monster radar, finally getting the telescope—pardon me, the interdimensional geoscope—given some attention, Dean blowing a door down by using the grenade launcher (symbolically tied to self-liberation), the fixing of the TV in the Deancave (with thanks to Jeremy! he who breaketh he too shalt fixeth), the fact that Mrs. Butters is a straight-up anti-Nazi killing machine and that her violence stems directly from her need to protect her home and the people she cares about.

Yeah, there’s so much good in her that her not ending up shot, even though she tortured Sam, is not very surprising and I really enjoyed the fact that her story ended on a compassionate note of understanding, and that, if she hadn’t longed to go back to the woods, the boys would have wanted her to stick around. 

Forgiveness—looking for it, or needing it— is a clear thread through this episode.

As For the Deeper Symbolism

Dean starts out cooking, wearing his new favourite garment—an apron. Now, I could tie that to Dean embracing his inner femininity and the rest of the episode working to underline this fact to us, but that’s just my reading of it, so who knows what the deal with the apron actually is. I do love it though, and it’s put in dialogue twice so we were definitely meant to make note of it.

The cooking ties him directly to Mrs. Butters, of course (or her to him, if you will) and creates a bookend for the episode, where Dean starts and ends the episode wearing the apron: first presenting Sam with a burger (meat man!) and then presenting Jack with a birthday cake. 

This bookend is also tied very strongly to Jack. 

Dean asks about him in the opening scene and we learn Jack is holed up in his room, the episode going from having Jack hiding himself away, ashamed and self-hating in his room, to him sitting opposite Sam, expressing concern that they’re putting all their bets on him and he’s not sure he’ll be able to kill God, Sam offering assurance and Dean, through his cake-baking and happy birthday wishes, offering forgiveness and support.

It’s awesome! Beyond awesome! It’s bloody brilliant, is what it is!

Especially when looking at the implications it holds for Dean’s inner work: his inner child starts out locked away, fearful and despairing, being brought out of that room through the kind and supportive side to his internal femininity representative, only for that representative to turn around and step into the shoes of the toxic masculinity traits that have always been the source of Dean’s self-hatred, distrust and lack of faith in himself, and once being granted honesty from the ego (Dean’s consciousness admitting that he’s trying, he’s angry, maybe always will be, but he’s trying) his inner child ends up with the ego showing that inner child how much it matters, that it’s trusted, cared for and loved. 

*brains on ceiling*

Now, as mentioned briefly, the narrative gives us Dean’s inner femininity (Mrs. Butters) influenced by what is a clear toxic masculinity/Shadow character (Sinclair) and shows us why Dean is still wary of his inner child, still not entirely trusting, and it makes all the sense, especially now that the inner child has swallowed up the Shadow and incorporated it into himself. 

Mrs. Butters’ mistrust of Jack becomes emblematic of Dean’s own mistrust in himself, but his inner child knows better and Jack’s continous denial of Mrs. Butters’ accusations underscores this fact. There is self-trust within Dean. Stronger than the lingering mistrust.

All of this inner work for Dean and Sam’s the one who gets tortured?

Well, I can see good reason why Sam is Mrs. Butters’ favourite and it’s to do with how he’s so closely tied to Dean’s purpose in life. Mrs. Butters is a reflection of Dean, and as she moves into Protector of the Bunker she’s also a reflection of any lingering toxic masculinity within Dean, and how it’s always been trying to find a way to sink its claws in Sam, but Sam has never bought into the toxic masculinty spiel, and because of that he’s needed in this instance, to see through the behaviour, to push for compassion, to break through the brainwashing that Mrs. Butters is under, to point out how she was used, taken out of her true nature to do someone else’s bidding.

The most thrilling part is that it’s Dean who delivers the biggest missing piece to Mrs. Butters’ puzzle: the true nature of Jack. 

Because, looked at symbolically, Jack’s ability to save the world represents Dean’s inner child’s ability to save Dean.

Because if any side to Dean were to destroy/thoroughly repress his inner child, he’d be lost. He would never be able to heal. 

The fact that Dean gets to be the one to do this, to talk a representative of his own inner imbalance down, makes me giddy. 

He would not have been able to do this a season ago. He was barely able to do this at the beginning of this season, because he was so full of anger.

That anger, after voicing it to Cas, doesn’t hold the same sway anymore.

He freely admitted to Jack that he’s still angry, and perhaps he always will be a little angry, but he is trying, and this, to me, is enormous. He expressed his emotion and he’s in zero ways allowing that emotion to control his actions anymore.

And, hey, we got Dean, wearing purple, assuring Mrs. Butters that Jack is a good kid.

It’s just… happy happy joy joy!

And a standing ovation to Meagen Fay. She really helped make the episode compelling to watch, balancing Mrs. Butters’ homely and darling characteristics with the darker and MoL compelled Protector of the Bunker that slowly, but surely, reared its not-as-darling head. Kudos!

Right. I could write about this episode some more, because layers, but it’s time to leave off. One thing before I go, though: I loved that we finally had them talk about that big-ass telescope. And I love that it’s not a telescope, because it makes sense. They’re underground—how would they see the stars? I figured there was some sort of skylight somehow that would open or something but meh, dull. This is so much better! And I loved that the green colour of warning was actually to do with the fact that they’re now not being able to see anything through it, rather than the colour having to do exclusively with Mrs. Butters. Utterly brilliant! And… oh dear, what horrors lie ahead??

Now to go watch 15x15. 

I’m not biting my nails. 

At all.

[cutie1365]

Winchester Part 2/4

Pairing: Sherlock x Winchester!Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: Violence, language, blood

A/N: Part 1 can be found on my masterlist, which is in my bio! If you’d like to be tagged in this or any of my works, there’s a link in my bio to a google form. If you comment to be added, I’ll add you, but sometimes the notification gets lost.

Any and all feedback is welcome and encouraged :)

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Your brothers were set to arrive any minute now after hopping on the first flight they could get out of Kansas. John accompanied you in picking them up from the airport, as Sherlock still thought this whole thing was ridiculous, and you couldn’t exactly blame him. Sure, it sounded crazy, it’s downright biblical, but you had known better than to doubt the existence of such beings.

“Are those your brothers?” John asked, turning to you with a raised brow as he saw the two men approaching with their sights set on you.

“Yup.” You smiled, it’s been years since you’ve seen them, even though they check in every few months.

“Jesus, I didn’t know you were part giant,” John laughed, pausing for a moment before turning to you with a more serious tone, “Wait, are giants real too?”

“Don’t be silly John,” You laughed, and he looked relieved, “Dragons are though.”

“No way.” He deadpanned.

“They’ve got a thing for virgins.” You nodded.

“Now you’re just playing with me.” He shook his head, and you smiled to make him think you were joking... and you really wished you were.

The boys had made it out of the gate and you ran and jumped into Dean’s arms as he dropped his duffel bag.

“There’s my girl.” He chuckled, hugging you and spinning you around.

“Sammy!” You hugged him next, you saw him eyeing your injuries with a sad smile. He wanted you to get out of this life. Hell, he’d even helped you get out of it, and here you were, right back at square one.

You were smiling wide, glad to be back with your family when you saw Dean eyeing the man next to you.

“Oh, this is my friend John Watson. John these are my brothers Sam and Dean.” You introduced them, pointing between your brothers as they moved to shake John’s hand.

“So what’s the plan?” Sam asked as they gathered their bags and you began to walk outside to hail a cab.

“We’ve been doing some research and triangulating local news clippings and sightings. We may have a location. Sherlock’s at Scotland Yard looking into if there’s been any other suspicious murders in the area that could help us lock down their hunting ground. He’ll meet us back at the flat after we get any supplies we need.” You explained, as the boys followed you and you raised your hand out into the street, a black cab stopping and pulling over for you.

“Good, we’ll get to work.” Sam nodded.

------------------------------------------------------------

With duffel bags freshly filled with supplies for the hunt, Dean and Sam followed you up the stairs to 221B Baker Street.

From the top of the stairs you could see Sherlock in his usual chair, donning a white dress shirt and black pants, with a file open on his lap. As he saw you enter the room he closed the file and stood to greet you and your new guests.

“Did you find any more?” You pointed to the file in his hands.

“Two stabbings with the same weapon, bodies found this morning on opposite sides of London, no apparent connection between the victims.” Sherlock handed you the file, you furrowed your brows as you flipped it open and read it, before realizing your brothers were still silently standing behind you waiting to be introduced.

“Shit, sorry. Sherlock these are my brothers Sam and Dean. Boys, this is Sherlock Holmes.” You motioned between them, before drawing your attention back to the files.

You looked up to see Dean giving Sherlock a dirty look that was no doubt meant to threaten him since you hadn’t introduced him as a friend like you did with John. No matter how old you got, he’d always be your protective older brother. You slyly elbowed him in the ribs, and he cracked a smile as he shook Sherlock’s hand.

“These kills look nothing like the first,” You flipped through the photos included in the files, “I mean, the weapon is the same. Looks like an angel blade, but they’re so much more... violent, messy. Overkill.”

Sherlock nodded in agreement as you handed the file to your brothers. Sam took it and began scouring the pages.

“You just had to go and piss off some demons, huh?” Dean raised a brow after seeing the bloody photos.

“Yes Dean, because I did this on purpose.” You said sarcastically, with a roll of your eyes.

“I’m just saying.” Dean shrugs.

“Bitch.” You shook your head at him.

“Jerk.” He retorted with the common reply shared by the three of you.

“You’re just cranky because you hate flying.” You put your hands on your hips and smirked at him.

“I’m not cranky.” He whined, causing you to raise a brow in a sort of are you sure about that? kind of way.

“Oh yes you are,” you chuckled, “Come on, let’s get you some coffee.”

Dean followed you into the kitchen as you began gathering a few mugs and pouring the black liquid from the pot into them. Dean’s eyes danced around all the scientific equipment in the kitchen.

“Does Dr. fucking Frankenstein live here?” He asked, causing you to roll your eyes.

“Whatever you do, don’t open the freezer.” You handed him his coffee with a smirk.

“That’s a joke right, please tell me you’re joking.” He called after you as you left the kitchen without another word, praying he didn’t stumble upon the fingers in the freezer. While he looked like a tough guy, he was a little squeamish when it came to dismemberment.

As you reentered the living room you smiled at the sight of John and Sam chatting and organizing all the supplies. It was nice to see them getting along, and John not thinking this entire operation was crazy. You approached Sherlock’s chair and handed him the cup you’d prepared just the way he likes it - black, two sugars. He accepted it with a smile as you sat in the wooden ‘client chair’ that had been pulled next to him.

“What are you thinking about?” You asked softly.

He hesitated for a second, likely deciding how honest he wanted to be in his reply.

“That we may just have a serial killer on our hands who’s escalating and devolving.” He answered, and you nodded.

“In a way you’re right.” You smiled, you knew this wasn’t easy for him to understand. You weren’t mad that he was sceptical. Hell, you would be too if you didn’t grow up the way you did.

“Hmm.” He hummed in dissatisfaction as you stood up and smiled, placed a hand on his arm reassuringly, giving him a little squeeze, before walking back towards the kitchen.

You sat at the counter flipping through the files once more, making sure there wasn’t anything you were all missing. You didn’t like walking into a hunt unprepared. There were only so many things you could control, and you never wanted lack of research to cause your downfall.

The four men were gathering the final supplies together in the living room, preparing to leave soon.

John had noticed Sam’s tattoo as they were moving things around.

“What’s it mean?” John pointed to his own collar bone, really just trying to make conversation.

“Anti-possession sigil,” Dean explained as they pulled down the collar of their shirt to expose their warding tattoos, “We’ve all got one.”

“Y/N doesn’t have any tattoos.” Sherlock shook his head, causing everyone to turn to you with wide eyes.

You almost choked on your coffee, before placing the glass down. Your brothers raised a brow at you, both for different reasons. Sam was worried, you could tell.

You sighed, turning towards the group and pulling your shirt and bra strap down your shoulder, exposing the bare untattooed skin. Sam worried once you got out of that life, you would have done something stupid like try to get it removed, leaving you vulnerable.

You took one more glance at Sherlock, hoping he wouldn’t think any different of you. He looked on with furrowed brows, watching hesitantly.

You rubbed your fingers hard against your skin, slowly revealing the tattoo below, covered with makeup. Your eyes met Sams and he looked relieved.

“What?” Sherlock came closer to examine the tattoo, how had he not noticed it before? Him of all people? He raised his finger to brush against the tinted skin, imagining the pain the needle must have caused. You weren’t the type of person to get a tattoo, you hated needles and he knew this. So the fact that you put yourself through that wasn’t to be taken lightly.

He backed away cautiously, obviously deep in thought. This didn’t mean he believed you yet, but he did have a lot of questions, per usual.

As Sam went over the plan with John and Sherlock once more, Dean approached you as you pulled your shirt back up your shoulder.

“Don’t think we’re not gonna talk about how he knew that.” Dean tilted his head and gave you a disapproving look.

“Dean...” You sighed, you were an adult, you shouldn’t have to explain yourself.

“So is it serious?” He glazed back towards Sherlock who was listening intently to Sam.

“Can we not do this now?” You whispered, not wanting them to overhear.

“Is it?” Dean asked once more, his tone more demanding.

“Yes, ok. I wouldn’t have dragged him into this mess if it wasn’t.” You shook your head, a pang of guilt rushing through you. You knew if any of them got hurt today, it was on your head.

“I don’t think he’s taking this seriously.” Dean shook his head, noticing how Sherlock’s not been the most active in the preparations for the hunt, and you couldn’t blame him.

“He’s a graduate chemist and a detective. He relies on science and facts. We can’t just expect him to believe in fairy tales with no proof.” You tried to explain, but Dean wasn’t exactly convinced.

---------------------------------------------------------------

The five of you stood outside an empty warehouse on the outskirts of the city that you had traced to be their hideout. They were demons on the run, rogues, they couldn’t risk blending in anymore. They had to lay low.

“We sure this is the place?” Dean asked with a raised brow.

“It’s our best shot.” Sam nodded.

“You ready?” Dean turned back to you and asked, eyeing Sherlock and John behind you.

“Let’s go.” You cocked the shotgun Dean had given you with special salt filled bullets.

You turned back to Sherlock and John one last time before you went in.

“Try to stay behind me, but shoot if you have to.” You instructed them, Dean had given them some bullets he’d made with holy water in them that fit into the guns they already own. They nodded, realizing this was really about to happen.

Sam kicked down the door of the warehouse, the boys taking lead. Two demons bolted up from their chairs at a makeshift table in the middle of the room. At least you had the element of surprise on your side, they weren’t expecting you. While their vessels were new, their eyes immediately turned black, and you knew you were in the right place. They looked worried, they knew they were outnumbered.

One immediately ran at you, and you fired your shotgun. The salt burned into his chest. It slowed him down, but it also pissed him off. He ran at you once more, while you pulled an iron knife from your waistband. As he charged at you, you buried the knife into his abdomen and twisted as he screamed in pain, the iron burning his skin.

He fell back onto the floor and you were able to pin him down, holding the iron blade against his neck as he squirmed.

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus,” You began to mutter the exorcism in Latin, angering him even more.

The demon kicked you off of him, sending you flying into the wooden table they were sitting as when you came in. You held your head for a moment as your vision blurred. You tried to focus and center yourself, as you saw the demon charge towards you once more. Your gun sat on the floor a few feet away as you tried to reach for it in time. When your head turned you heard a shot ring out, and whipped your head back. Sherlock had his arm raised, still pointing his gun at the demon who screamed in pain again. The holy water hurt him, but it didn’t kill him.

You turned to see that your brothers had trapped his partner in a salt circle, and Sam was now exorcising him. You made eye contact with Dean and he nodded, tossing you Ruby’s demon killing knife. You jumped to your feet, catching the blade and charging at the demon before you in one swift movement.

He must have realized what you were holding. You lunged at him, blade extended, you braced for impact. But the moment before the knife sunk into his chest, the demon escaped from his vessel. A black cloud swirling out of his mouth and disappearing into the night.

“Dammit!” You yelled, ripping the knife out of the already deceased vessel.

Sam and Dean turned around at the sound of your voice. You turned to see they had successfully exorcised the other demon, sending him back to hell. Crowley wouldn’t go easy on a rogue who wasn’t following his orders, his fate was sealed.

“You good?” Dean asked, offering you a hand as you sat on the floor next to the unmoving body.

“I had him.” You growled, placing your hand in Deans and letting him pull you to your feet.

“We’ll find him, don’t worry.” Sam tried to reassure you, but you shook your head in anger, not wanting to listen to him coddle you.

“What the hell just happened?” John asked with wide eyes, unsure of what he just witnessed.

“We got one of them, but the other left his vessel and escaped. He could be miles away by now.” Dean explained, wiping some blood from his lip where the dead demon’s fist had caught him.

“So what do we do now?” Sherlock asked, putting his gun away.

“Back to square fucking one.” You huffed, pushing through the group of men and back towards the entrance of the warehouse.

Obviously you were angry, you had him on the ropes. He was right there, but you couldn’t finish the job.

Sherlock raised an eyebrow to Sam, silently questioning if he should go after you. He’d never seen you like this. He’s never seen you fire a gun, let alone fight like that and stab a man... twice. This was a whole new side of you, one he understood why you kept hidden. He wanted to make sure you were ok.

Sam shook his head, raising a hand to stop Sherlock from moving. He knew how you got after a hunt that didn’t go as planned,  and no one deserved to be on the receiving end of that fight. It was best if they let you be, they’d learned that lesson the hard way many years ago. It seems as though all these years have passed, nothing really changed.

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Taglist in reblog. Masterlist in bio.

[huntersandslayers]

then

It was nearly 1am when Bobby got the call. He'd never in his life heard his niece sound so frantic. She was crying, that much was obvious. She was sobbing so hard that Bobby could barely understand what she was saying.

"Ivy?" He asked into the receiver, trying to quell that heavy feeling that was sinking down to the pit of his stomach though he knew it was her. "Ivy darlin', what is it?"

Once the sobbing died down to sniffles and soft gasps, she voice whispered into the phone, "It's mom."

Bobby's brow furrowed. He hadn't spoken to his sister in years. He'd kept in contact with Ivy over the years, she was his only niece, after all, but not her mother. When Liv left the hunting life, she'd cut all ties with Bobby. Ivy never did though, never would. Even if she'd tried, he'd never let it happen.

"What about her?" He asked, but after spending a lifetime as a hunter, Bobby had learned to expect the worst.

"She's dead."

Her voice broke as she said it and that sound was enough to make Bobby's heart break where the news didn't. Liv had been a hunter for most of her life, didn't quit until Ivy's father had died. He'd expected the worst.

"How?" Bobby asked. Maybe an insensitive question, but in his line of work he'd learned quickly when to set pleasantries aside. He was upset that his sister was dead, that much was true, but he couldn't grieve yet; not until Ivy was safe.

"Vampires I think. The police said it was a bear attack but..." she sobbed again.

"Good God," he muttered, closing his eyes at the thought of Ivy stumbling home only to find her mother's body cold and bloody. "Are you alone?"

"Yes, but I don't wanna be. Uncle Bobby, can you come and get me? You're-" she sucked in a deep breath, and Bobby could tell she was fighting back another sob. "You're all I have."

Bobby sighed. As much as he wanted to go to her, it'd be days before he reached her.

"Sweetheart, even if I leave right now, I won't be there any time soon." Ivy let out a small noise that sounded a lot like a whimper. "Look, I know a couple'a of hunters in the area. I know you don't know them, but I trust them with my life. They're as close to me as if they were blood. I can send them to pick you up."

"Okay, yeah," she said, quietly, mulling it over before asking, "What are their names?"

"John and Dean Winchester."

—

John and Dean stopped by Bobby's after every hunt. John had insisted they did it just to see if Bobby had a case, or any new leads on the demon that killed Mary, but he and Dean both knew it was because they wanted to check on Ivy.

At first, she was silent. Mourning. That was something the Winchesters understood better than most. In time, she became more comfortable, opened up, considered them her family just as much as Bobby. She and Dean traded stories of growing up hunting. She told them about her life and her family, they told her about Sam and Mary.

When they heard Bobby and Ivy shouting from inside the house, they'd have to intervene. They didn't fight often, but when they did it brought to light things they usually left unsaid. Bobby didn't know how to be a parent, Ivy didn't have the heart to tell him that she was twenty years old (and she'd had her had independence long before that). She didn't need a parent.

Neither of them were wrong, but no one was quite right and somehow that made it so much worse.

"I'm not letting you go off on your own!" They heard Bobby yell.

"So I'll find a partner!" Ivy screamed back.

"That's not the point, Ivy Jade! You don't have any experience hunting without your parents. It's not safe!"

"Bobby," she sighed, a hint of resignation in her voice, ready to give up. "How can I get experience if you won't even let me try?"

"Everything okay in here?" Dean asked as he and John made their way inside. His brow cocked as he glanced between the two of them.

Ivy's eyes lit up at the sight of the other hunters. Bobby could practically see the lightbulb going off.

"I can go with them!" Ivy said, but Dean must've predicted the statement as well because at the same time, he said, "Ivy, you can't hunt with us.”

Her face fell.

"Why not?"

Was it because she was a girl? Because she wasn't as experienced as them? Did they see her as a liability or were they just scared, like Bobby was? No matter the reason, she was already formulating an argument against it in her mind.

"Because you're...you!" He threw his hands up and ran them through his hair.

"What Dean means," John cut in, "is that you're Bobby's niece, so you're family by default. We don't want you getting hurt."

"And if I'm with you guys, I won't be," she all but pleaded. "You won't let anything happen to me. Besides, it's not like I'm completely new to this. I'm good with a gun, I know all about the salt and silver bullets. I help Bobby research all the time so I have the monster knowledge. It doesn't have to be forever, I'm just asking for a chance. Please John, please Uncle Bobby?"

The older hunter rolled his eyes and huffed out, "Fine."

—

A year went by and Ivy was still hunting with John and Dean, for the most part. The two of them, along with her Uncle Bobby, were well and truly family. And then John stopped checking in with them, stopped responding to Dean's calls, stopped coming by Bobby's after a hunt.

He was family, and he was missing. So Dean decided there was only one option.

It was time to get Sam.

[crashdevlin]

Jump The Shark

Author’s Note: This is part nineteen of The Best Laid Plans series

Summary: When John gets a call from the youngest son he never got to meet, Y/n goes with him to find out what happened to the one-night stand John had back in 1990.

Pairing: Alpha!John x Omega!Reader

Word count: 3597

Story Warnings: angst...A/B/O dynamics, canon divergence, angst, mentions of physical violence, mentions of mindfuckery, mentions of ferality, pining, did I mention angst?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You hadn't said anything. Not from the moment you and John found the truck. You climbed up into the cab and changed into jeans, a black and green plaid flannel and a pair of hiking boots. You dropped your suit skirt and blouse out the window going 80 down the interstate, and then you closed your eyes and listened to the Rolling Stones.

You had to open your eyes when your memories started attacking you.

Dean had been so sure that you were the one he wanted, the one he was looking for...but that was Dean Smith and Y/n Colt. That was a Stanford MBA and a former Miss Teen USA runner-up. The idea that he wanted to mark you was particularly hurtful and you were kinda glad you made him wait because you weren't sure if it would have reset like the first mark Sam gave you and the last thing you wanted was for Dean to be tethered to you when he could barely stand to be around you.

He only wanted you because he was someone else. He was someone else, but his soul was still stuck on you. You both felt that pull because you were connected but he didn't want you. Smith liked Colt, but Winchester would never love Y/l/n.

John just drove. It was obvious he had no destination in mind, he just pointed the truck West and drove. Part of you wished that he would go back to Mississippi but you knew that your semi-normal was gone...and it was better. You were a hunter and so were your alphas. No normal for you.

"It hit her hard, Sammy," you heard John whispering as he drove when you woke up a few hours into Missouri. "She hasn’t been that close with your brother in years and the fact that it was all fake is killing her."

A pang of sadness hit you as your brain called forth what John was talking about. The haze of sleep had taken the memory, but now it was clear why your heart felt like so many broken pieces shoved into a box in your chest.

"Yeah, we know that but he won't say it and she probably wouldn't be able to hear it now anyway." John sighed as Sam spoke through the phone. "Son, I don't know what we can do other than what we always do. If you need help, just call, but she definitely doesn't need to be around your brother for a while. All right. Keep me updated," John said before setting his phone on the dashboard. "I know you’re awake, 'mega. Can't fool me."

"Wasn't trying to fool you. Just letting you finish your conversation," you responded, sitting up and stretching as best as you could in the truck cab. "What'd Sam want?"

"Tell me that the whole deal in Cincinnati was the Angels fucking with us. Specifically fucking with Dean. They wanted to prove to him that he was always supposed to be a Hunter or something."

"And we just got pulled along for the ride? That was nice of them." You rolled your eyes and reached down for your purse, pulling out a travel mouthwash. "So, what, everything's dandy now?" you asked as you took a drink of the mint liquid, swished it around in your mouth and swallowed.

"You know, you're supposed to spit that out, right?"

"Only quitters spit," you said automatically. You ran your hand across your face as you dropped the bottle to the floorboard. Dirty jokes Dean told you as a teen were not what you needed to get out of your funk. “I’ve put worse things in my body.”

“Girl, we...we’ll get through this.”

“Not like we have a lot of options, right?” You licked your lips and shook your head. “I’m fine, John. I slept. I’m better. I’m fine.”

“When are you gonna learn that it’s useless to lie to me?” John asked.

“I’m sure it’ll sink in eventually,” you responded, chuckling. “I promise...I’m going to be fine.”

“I know you will,” John said, reaching over to pat your knee.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few weeks passed and you were getting better at putting it behind you. The might’ve-beens dragged up by the Angels in Cincinnati were slowly being pushed back into the recesses of your mind and you were feeling better. Sam emailed John to tell him about some jerk in Ohio writing books about the boys’ lives, someone Castiel revealed to be a Prophet of the Lord who was writing The Winchester Gospels. There were books about the boys’ lives, their actions, their innermost thoughts, just hanging out on bookshelves around the world. You wondered if you were in any of the stories, the gospels.

John’s secondary cell phone went off as you pulled the truck into the parking lot of a coffee shop and he frowned as he looked down at the screen before he answered, “Hello?” A beat of time as you parked the truck and turned to him. “He’s not available. Can I help you?” He had a severe look on his face and you shook your head at him, confused by his reaction to the call. “What’d you say your name was? Milligan...and, uh, what are you callin’ John for?”

He made a fist and hammered it into his forehead. “Right, well, uh, I hate to have to tell you this over the phone but John is dead. He died in 2001.” Your eyes went wide and John put a finger up to quiet you before you could even start to question. “If you need help, then I can meet with you, kid. I’m, uh, John Winchester’s son, Dean. Windom, Minnesota. Cousin Oliver Café. We’ll be there tomorrow at 8am. See ya then, kid.”

“What the fuck, John?!” you exclaimed when he ended the call.

“Fuck.” He scratches his fingernails across his forehead and sighs as he sets the phone on the dash. “I recognized the area code, knew it was Missouri, thought it might have something to do with...with this case I had around January 1990. Anybody I interacted with back then, they would’ve known me before I got hit with that hex. So, that’s why I answered the phone like that and I’m glad I did because...because the kid on the other end of the phone is…” He trailed off and you gave him a pointed look.

“The kid on the other end of the phone is what?”

“My youngest son, Adam.”

Your eyes went wide, confusion and anger filling your body. “Your what?”

“I told you...I told you that I had one dalliance before you after Mary died, remember? When I was on that ghoul hunt and I went into rut and I-I was almost feral and I had one night where I couldn’t fuckin’ control myself and-”

“You knocked her up with pups?” you whispered. For some reason, it hurt a lot more than it should, especially considering you were only seven years old at the time.

“Only one. Adam.” He shook his head at himself. “She never told me. I didn’t know anything about it until 2001...and by then…by the time Adam called the first time, I was a young man again. I couldn’t show up looking like a twenty-five year old and start a relationship with the boy. So I just never called him back, kinda put him on the back burner. I figured I’d go see him when we found the witch and fixed me but I never found the witch and-”

“So, why’s he calling again now?” you asked, trying to be understanding. It wasn’t John’s fault. He should have told you. He should have told his other sons, but he couldn’t do anything about it now.

“His mom, Kate, is missing.”

“And he called you because?” you asked.

“Because the cops aren’t worried and his mom told him to try to get a hold of me if anything weird ever happened. She knew about the hunting.”

“So, your plan is to...pretend to be your oldest son and go meet your youngest son for the first time and try to find his missing mother...who most probably is just normal-missing, not supernatural-missing?” you asked, cautious of your tone.

“I can drop you somewhere if you don’t wanna participate in this, girl,” he said, biting his bottom lip.

“No,” you responded vehemently. “You don’t get to leave me behind, Winchester. Not ever again, remember?”

“Okay, then I’m gonna need you to back me on this and you’re going to have to call me ‘Dean’.”

You nodded. “I can do that.” You weren’t sure you wanted to, but you’d do it for him.

“Thank you, darlin’.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John was nervous. You could smell it in his scent. You leaned into his shoulder as you sat in the booth, trying to calm him with your own scent. You kept your head on his shoulder as he switched a glass of water out with a glass of holy water and set a trio of silverware on the opposite side of the table. “Just in case.”

“You really think-”

“I looked into him, ya know? Kid did real good without me in his life,” John said suddenly. “He’s real and he’s smart and he never had anything to do with this life. I’m scared it bled onto him anyway.”

You sighed and leaned up to press a kiss to his temple as the door opened and a tall, thin young man walked into the diner. He looked like a mix of Sam and Dean. “That’s him,” you whispered, recognizing him from the Facebook profile.

John, or rather ‘Dean’, stood and waved at the boy.

“Dean?” Adam asked, walking over. John nodded. The boy laughed. “Wow, you look just like the picture my mom had of-of John. You’re almost the spitting image of him.” He let out a scoff as he sat down, his eyes moving to you. “Who’s this?”

“My omega,” John said, a bit defensively.

“Y/n,” you said, offering your hand to him.

Adam took it with a smile. “Wow.”

You felt a cringe move through your body and you looked down. “What?”

“I just…” Adam cleared his throat. “There’s not a lot of omegas in Windom and none are as pretty as you.”

Another Winchester flirting with you was sending all sorts of bad signals through your body. You softly tugged your hand back and sat back down as Adam settled into the opposite side of the booth and picked up the water. You held your breath when he took a drink but the water went down easy so you relaxed a bit.

But not much.

He smelled wrong. John was lavender and orange and ylang ylang, Dean was lavender and honeysuckle and anise, Sam was vanilla and coffee and undercurrents of honeysuckle when he was in rut. Adam smelled like dirt.

Not grass and forest and mossy logs, dirt. Just dirt. He didn’t even have a secondary scent to him, no undercurrent or complementary smell. Just dirt.

There should have been some part of him that smelled like a Winchester, even if he wasn’t the same makeup of a Winchester as the ones you knew. He shouldn’t smell like that.

Adam didn’t seem to notice your musing or your deep breaths to try and find something else in his scent. He went off on a tangent as he ate his breakfast about how John and Kate met in the emergency room at the hospital room where she works and he went into rut after he got hurt and Adam tried to get a hold of John when he was a kid and John just never picked up the phone and he’s glad that ‘Dean’ answered the phone this time.

“At least I know why he didn’t answer when I was calling before. So, uh, what happened to John?”

“Heart attack,” John responded. “It was sudden.”

“Right, guess that makes sense. Heart disease is the number one killer of men his age in the US,” Adam said.

Your eyes focused on the silverware in the man’s fists. Not a shifter either then. But this was something. This was not a Winchester.

“Well, after we get done eating, why don’t you take us to the house and we’ll see if we can’t find something to tell us where your mom got to,” John offered.

“Thanks, Dean,” Adam said with a smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"He didn't react to silver or holy water," John argued as he followed Adam's car down the road.

"So? There's plenty of things that can alter people's perception of them that don't react to silver or holy water! Rakshasas, sirens, djinns, ghouls, do I need to go on?" you argued back. "He smells like dirt, John. That is not-"

"Maybe that's just-"

"What'd his mother smell like?" you interrupted.

"Passion fruit...and something else I can't remember."

"Not dirt. He shouldn't smell like that. He's not your son."

John sighed and scratched at his chin. "You might be right. He should smell more like one of us. He doesn't even smell like an alpha, honestly, but...if he's not Adam, then where the hell is Adam? And where's Kate? And why the fuck would whatever he is try to get me out here?"

"I don't know."

"Me either. For now, let's focus on finding Kate and we'll go from there." You held in a groan and focused out the windshield. "I know, 'mega. I'm just...I got this feeling...I lost my opportunity to be a part of this boy's life because of that witch."

"And that’s terrible, John...but you wouldn't have me if it wasn't for that witch so…"

“I’m not sayin’ I regret it, sweetheart, I just...wish I could have...met him once before I went after that bitch.”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, biting your thumbnail. “Sometimes I wish things were different, too.”

“You wish I never came over when you were going into that first heat,” he guessed.

You swallowed, but you didn’t answer. The truth was, you had thought through a lot of different wishes and butterfly-effect ripples of how it would change everything. If John didn’t show up, you wouldn’t be a hunter. If Dean hadn’t pushed you to let Sam take you when those apple-pie assholes put you in heat, you would have just been Dean’s. If you never sold your soul for Dean, you might have been able to move on, find another alpha...a non-Winchester.

“I don't think I'd be myself if you hadn't shown up,” you answered eventually. “I'd have stayed stuck at Bobby's, never ended up with an alpha let alone two, and I would be dying from never getting a knot in a few years' time...it’s better you did.”

"I'm...glad I did, Y/n. I like the woman you are, the strong and beautiful omega you are.”

You smiled and your cheeks heated up at the praise. “Let’s just get this done, huh?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You weren’t exactly happy that you were the one who had to crawl through the vents but Adam said, and John fucking agreed, that you were smallest and therefor the best choice. When you found the blood and pieces of skull and blond hair, you were happy to be small enough to pull your phone out of your pocket and text the news to John so he could break the news before you crawled back out.

“Call the cops. We gotta get out of here, though,” John said as he offered you a hand to help you up out of the vent.

“Wait, but-” Adam started to argue.

“We don’t mix with cops,” you responded, before stomping away from them, roughly brushing dust off of your jeans and shirt. “Come on, J-Dean. Let’s get out of here.”

“You don’t mix with-” Adam started to argue, but you pushed past him and stomped out to John’s truck.

“There was no surprise in his scent. There was no anger or sadness. I’ve lost both parents, John, there should have been-”

“Maybe he’s numb or-”

“Maybe he’s made of dirt or something!” you snapped. “That is not-”

“He hasn’t done anything wrong yet, ‘mega.”

You shook your head. “Yeah. Yet. You know what, John? I’m gonna go ahead and look into things that could be pretending to be your illegitimate pup.”

You barely looked at him as you got out of the truck and headed inside to start researching. When Adam showed up to find out what was going on with his missing mother and you and ‘Dean’ leaving before the cops showed up and “what the hell?!” John decided to explain about hunting as simply as he could. He didn’t explain who he really was, though. And then John decided to take Adam to explore other options of finding Kate.

It was a couple hours later that you came across a mention in an online lore forum that said ghouls, while normally scavengers who feast on dead flesh, could actually eat living specimens and have been shown to greatly enjoy fresh human meat and blood...and just like feasting on the dead, the ghoul can take the visage of their victim and their memories.

“Didn’t John say that’s what he was after when he was here before?” you whispered to yourself as you picked up your cell phone and dialed John’s number. It rang through until it went to voicemail. You called again. It went to voicemail again.

Panic fell over you. Your alpha was in trouble. Your alpha was in trouble and you had no idea where he was.

“Fuck!” You were almost shaking as you stood up and looked around aimlessly. What could you do? Another string of expletives fell from your mouth before you forced yourself to focus. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. Your soul was connected to him. You needed to find him.

It only took a flash. A flash of the dining room at Kate’s house, John tied to the table had you grabbing the keys to John’s truck and rushing for your alpha. You pushed that truck as fast as it would go to get it to the house on the outskirts of Windom. The truck tires screeched as you slid to a stop in the front yard. You grabbed your shotgun from the rack in the truck bed and ran into the house.

John was tied to the table, ‘Adam’ and ‘Kate’ standing over him as he bled from his wrists. “Y/n,” he groaned. “They’re ghouls!”

“I know!” you snapped, aiming at Adam’s head and shooting. Parts of his head exploded onto the wall behind him and Kate shrieked before running at you. You moved to pump the shotgun for a second shot, but Kate grabbed you and tossed you into the wall like you were nothing.

“Y/n!”

“I’m fine, John!” you shouted, rolling onto your hands and knees.

“John?” Kate spat out, her tone dripping with poison.

“Forgot to mention before you started draining me,” John groaned. “I’m the one who killed your daddy, sweetheart.”

“Witches are better than plastic surgery, bitch,” you said, sweeping the woman’s leg with your foot. She fell to the floor and you jumped up, grabbing the shotgun and shooting her in the head, too. You licked your lips and panted as you limped over to the table and pulled out a knife, getting him loose from his binds. “You okay?” you asked, grabbing a rag and ripping it in half, wrapping each half around his wounds.

“Yeah. You...you got here in time.” He sat up, his legs hanging off the table as you secured the wraps around his wrists. “How’d you know?”

“I figured out ghouls could eat fresh and then I couldn’t get you on the phone and...I…” You licked your lips. “I knew where to find you.”

“How?” he pressed.

“How’d you know what motel room I was cutting Sam’s mark off of me?” you asked in answer.

“You felt it?” he asked and you nodded. He reached out, barely wincing at the pull on his wrist, and pulled you in for a soft, sad kiss. “They were siblings, kids of the ghoul I took down last time I was in Windom. They called to get revenge for me killing their dad.” He looked away. “Killed Kate and Adam to get revenge first. I was hoping I wasn’t right about my life bleeding on his.”

“It’s not your fault, John,” you whispered.

He shook his head. “I know. Shoulda stuck around to see if the thing left behind little monsters for me to kill, but...I went into rut...and then I had to get back to the boys.”

“John...it’s really not on you.”

“He’s dead because of me.”

“He was alive because of you,” you insisted. “He had nineteen years before these things...he had nineteen years because of you. Please, don’t let this get to you.” You chuckled, ruefully. “I’m the one that’s supposed to be barely floating in an ocean of shit. You’re supposed to be my life raft.”

He smiled and nodded. “I am. I am your life raft, darlin’. Just...a little blood-deprived right now. I’ll perk up after a glass of O.J. and some protein. Come on. Let’s get outta here.”

You nodded and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, helping him off of the table and walking him out to the truck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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