#and i wanna start walking my talk
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Daniel Molloy + first impressions
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#daniel molloy#louis de pointe du lac#raglan james#armand#1x06#2x03#my edits#gif#gifset#devil's minion#armandaniel#armaniel#bc ofc#daniel when the average person wants to start a conversation: 🤨🙄➡️#but armand's power!!#no disapproval move without uttering a word + daniel at a loss for words + daniel following him with his eyes like damn!#and the diegetic use of baby strange in the bar scene 👌#“I see you walking; I see you talking with all my friends; I'm shadowed under; You're like some thunder; I wanna be your friend”#“I wanna call you; I wanna ball you all night long; In winds of passion my whip is lashing; I wanna get you and then”#“Ooo you're strange; Don't lame me baby strange don't lame me baby”
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OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#cw blood#cw gore#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#vex waylin#viv waylin#MY FAVORIT EP!! HAVNT SEEN IT IN FOREVER THO BC WELL. IM BUSY. SO BEAR W ME IM RUNNIN OFF ALOTTA MEMORY FUMES#ALSO EDIT BC FUUUCK I HADMORE TAGS BUT TUMBLR FUCKEN ATE EM. OH WELL. MY DMS R OPEN IF U WANNA UNLOCK RAMBLES.#I LOVE THE WAYLIN TWINS SSSOO FUCKING MUCH IM SO!!! CURIOUS ABOUT THEM!!! WHO WERE THEY WHEN THEY WERE HUMAN? HOW LONGVE THEY BEEN ARND?#I LOVE IT WHEN PPL SAY ITS LIKE THESE TWO WERE MADE FOR MMEE BC YES!! YES!! ITS EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT FROMA CHARACTER!!!#I LOVE THEIR RED WHITE N BLACK COLOR SCHEME. I LOVE HOW THEYRE BOTH SO INTELLIGENT AND GENIUS N YET THEYRE DUMB AS FUUUUCK#COOOMICAL SUPER VILLAINS. OOH ILL GET YOU NEXT TIME SHAMIA SHAMAI!!! HOW DARE YOU FOIL MY PLAN!! MY PLANS OF MUTILATING AWAKE N ALIVE PPL#COMICAL AND YET. GENUINELY HORRIFYING. VIV CAN MAKE UR BONES EXPLODE JUST BY THINKING ABOUT IT. VEX CAN BECOME SOUP#WHY DONT WE TALK ABOUT THAT MORE? THE TURNING INTO RED MEAT SLIME?? METAL AS FUUUCK. I ALSO LOVE HOW SCARED THEY GOT SO QUICKLY#THIS LIL FUCKEN RRRRRAT COMES IN. AND WELL. HES JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS. WE FUCK HIM UP N TOSS HIM INTO THE SUN N LET HIM BURN#SURE HE HAD ONE MORE TRICK OF REBELLION UP HIS SLEEVE BUT THE SUN HAS TAKEN HIM NOW. ITS FINE. WE'RE FINE. HEY IS THERE SMTH IN THE CEILING#OHHH WE KILLED HIM ONCE N HE CAME BACK. WE KILLED HIM AGAIN N TOOK HIM APART BUT THEN HES BACK?? HE GETS AWAY AND THEN. COMES BACK. AGAIN.#WE CANT GET RID OF HIM. THAT FOUL SHAMIA SHAMAI. A MOUSE IN OUR KITCHEN. FUUUUCK HES GONNA SPREAD DISEASE! KILL IT! KILL IT!! AAAUUGH FUCK!#I LOVE THAT THE WAYLIN TWINS AGREED TO HELP THE BLONDE TWINS MOSTLY ON THE BASIS OF 'IT WOULD BE FUNNY' BUT ALSO#OOHHH WE ARE SO CLOSE TO REACHING SOMETHING TO MAKE HIM NNEEVER FUCK WITH US AGAIN. HIS ILLUSIONS WILL HAUNT US NO LONGER#THEY WERE SSSOOO PARANOID W ALL THE CAMERAS AND BOMBING THEIR OWN LAB AND RUNNING AND RUNNING AND GETTING AWWAY FROM THIS FUCKEN! MOUSE!!!!#OHHHH I THINK IM RUNNIN OUTA ROOM so ill talk about da art real quick.BEEN WORKIN ON THIS FOR A WHIIILE.ALOTTA THESE were started when the#ep came out.so OLD!! BUT DONE!!and im very very happy w my colors n gore n EXPRESSIONS!! the top right corner comic keeps making me chuckle#I ALSO rly love the lil convo between arthur n viv.theyre SO CUTE TOGETHERR they should go ona museum date together or somethin#they need more time to just talk abt da World together.ALSO CAN I BE PETTY.I MADE ARTHUR UGLY CORRECT-STYLE#THESE BOYS KNOW NOTHING OF UGLY.I MADE THE VAMPIRIC FLESH EVOLVE N ROT N BLOSSOM AND THERE IS SQUIRMING WITHIN THE TENEBRAE#UHHH IEAH THIS GUY W A ROTTED N DISTORTED FACE WALKS INTO MY BIKE STORE IEAH IM SCREAAAMIN LIKE WADDA HELL!! MONSTOR!!!
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a slight continuation of this
no caller ID pops on your screen, pulling your attention away from your previous task at hand: not fucking up your eyeliner. you typically wouldn’t care if it was a little uneven, but you’re going on a date tonight, for the first time in so long, and you want everything to go as smoothly as possible.
which is why you groan when you end the call, and that same no caller ID pops right back up seconds later. you know who it is—who else would it be? you figured he’s already seen your story of being excited for going on your first date in a while, on the only app you hadn’t blocked him on. petty? perhaps, but it’s on him to be keeping up with you despite you cursing him out for wasting your time and then blocking him right after.
you watch it ring though, contemplating for a while longer than you should. you blocked him for a reason. no need to entertain his same shit that he always spews to you when he realizes that he might be losing you once more?
….but it doesn’t hurt to hear the hero beg for you.
“What do you want, Bakugou?” You sigh irritably as you finally answer his call, putting him on speaker as you go back to even out your eyeliner. You hear him huff on the other side of the phone at the use of his surname, but he doesn’t say anything about it, instead, quickly telling you what he’s been bothering you for.
“Who’s the fuckin’ loser that’s gonna drool over how good your tits look in that stupid green dress you love so much?” Bakugou grunts, and you instantly feel your face heating at his crude words. You glance over with a frown at that same green dress that makes your tits look good, where it hangs on your closet.
“None of your damn business, Bakugou.” You snap at him, wondering if it’s too late to find something else to wear. “Not like you ever took me out in my stupid green dress.” Your voice holds a level of bitterness that only he can bring out of you, and you hear his sigh through the speakers.
“I told you this before, I’m always—”
“Busy.” You cut him off, voice suddenly thick as you think back on the countless rejections he’s splattered at your feet every time you tried to further your relationship with him. “You reminded me of how busy you’ve been since you first started this whole situationship.”
“Situation—? Huh? We were dating!” Bakugou protests with a huff, and you can hear how he paces the floor quickly. You glare at your phone, setting down your liner to instead pick of your (his) favorite lipgloss.
“You’d have to ask me out to be dating, Bakugou. You’d have to court me to be dating, Bakugou. You’d have to make time for me and take me out on dates and not hide me to fucking date me, Bakugou.” You spit at him, venom dripping off of your lips in waves. You don’t know why you answered, why you even entertained him. You shake your head with a huff when the line goes quiet, eyebrows quirking up when your date sends you a text to make sure you’re still on for tonight.
“I’m sorry.” Bakugou mutters pathetically, his voice suddenly soft. You hesitate, for some reason, when it comes to texting your date back. Why do you always hesitate when Bakugou is around?
“Let me make it up to you, court you, and shit. I can take you to one of my favorite places, you can wear that pretty green dress and that gloss you know I love.” His voice is pleading, thickening and sweet and suffocating. You shouldn’t respond, should reply back a yes to your date.
“Please? You know how much you mean to me.” Bakugou mumbles, and you can hear the earnestness in his voice. Why haven’t you said yes to your date yet?
“I’ll do better this time. Just one more chance, sweetheart.” Bakugou’s voice is so soft, you’ve never heard him this vulnerable before. You sigh with a shake of your head, slumping back into your seat in defeat.
…
Sorry, I can’t make it tonight. Something came up. Maybe we can reschedule for another time?
#sorry this is kinda angsty lol#but I saw this tt earlier where this girl was so giddy bc ‘no caller id’ called LOL#and it just reminded me of the first part to this#at first he’s all ‘no we can’t date bc of xyz bullshit reason’#but the moment you’re like ‘I’m done w this toxic back n forth we’re not even a couple’#he’s like WE WERE TOGETHER THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!#delusion is what I like to call it#also he definitely takes you out to a place that’s very secluded and exclusive#to shut you up for the time being#the whole ‘at least I took you out!’ shtick#I hate him actually#but the toxic hate sex goes crazy ☝🏻#okay gn I’m sleepy and I felt so shitty today#or yesterday#so I’m hoping today will be better#maybe I’ll mediate before I start on my work#I wanna go on a walk sometime this week bc it’s gonna be great weather but my anxiety keeps telling me#that one of the stray cats or foxes is gonna attack me AKSJDKDJDJD#omg does anyone remember me talking about that calico kitty in my backyard at one point???#I haven’t seen her since and I hope she’s okay :( we miss her :(#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#bakugou treats! 🍬
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Wore my Red Hot Chili Peppers t-shirt to rehab today and one of the other patients was like "Hey, are you a Swiftie?"
My dude. Read the shirt
#everyone's talking about t swift cuz she's in town this week for several nights#i didn't even know until this person asked me and then told me why they asked#i wasn't mean. i was just like 'oh that's not really my kind of music'#but like. i am so very far from a swiftie in so many ways... have you looked at me at all ever....#then later i was walking laps and one of the volunteers pointed at my headphones and asked 'Linkin Park?'#and I was like HELL YEAH YOU KNOW IT#mod post#music#not tagging that artist in particular indon't wanna start drama lol
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I almost missed a mandatory class today because a kitten kept following me and I was scared it was gonna follow me into the train
#nana talks#it was so adorable it saw me started meowing and when I pet it it did that little jumping against your hand thing#after I played with the random kitten on the street for 10 minutes I was like ok I'm gonna be late for my train so I need to go#so I waved to the kitten but it literally kept following me and of course I kept petting it#like I walked two steps and it meowed and ran after me how could I leave that alone but like it followed me to the end of the street#so I was getting worried it might follow me to the train station and thats not a safe space for a kitten#like especially if it were to follow me into the train it would not know how to get home#so I called my friend and asked him to tell the teacher I might be late because of a kitten I wasn't gonna risk it following me near a trai#eventually the kitten went to sleep on a car so I could leave but I didn't wanna leave kittens are cute#I really miss that kitten by the way
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anyway on a totally different note. times like these i wonder why i dont just buy a cane for mobility aid. like. sure i dont always “need” it. but that… doesnt mean i Never need it… like even without a sprained ankle i literally limp home far more often than not cos i just get so worn out and my feet hurt. and its like. i make light of it like haha yeah i sprain my ankle a lot like once a year at least gee i wonder why, haha yeah like i have zero walking stamina when i get tired i just start dragging myself forward moreso than actually walk.
but maybe theres something to that eh. 👉🧠 thiiiink motherfucker. think!
#incoherent turtle noises#ive known for a while that i could rly use a cane sometimes. might make walking a lil easier for me and i dont have to start falling apart#or ask for my hand to be held or for breaks to sit down just to walk 30min frm point a to point b. but i just never feel like..#like i need it ‘enough’. and. part of it too is my mom. the idea that i would need help. and she’s… idk. i dont wanna talk abt it.#something’s all rotten and tangled up inside my brain when it comes to things that i need and thing that i deserve. sighs.
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Why are we calling him "Alpha Dave" when we could be calling him "Big D"?
#or d-rector#like d erector#but seriously is big d not like the douchiest and most perfect name for him in keeping with strider tradition#im cryin#maybe hi also so maybe im just laughing at nothing#alpha dave#alpha dave strider#d strider#alpha bro#homestuck#god im not even kidding i swear im gonna start calling him that until it catches on#gonna have to canonize it in some fan fiction but what to write for it hmm#maybe fan art instead idk ive never drawn dave i dont think#ShitPost.exe#Cori.exe#also wanna clarify something here all dave striders are trans men hussie personally told me when he crawled out from my drain this morning#also also sorry if someone else said this before me i came up with it bc i walk talking about alpha daves big d energy
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maybe I'm comfortable with tumblr because I get to say things I don't usually tell anyone
#like how my day is? or what dumb stuff im doing lol#my “safe space” where i got to meet people somehow (and theyre very cool :3c)#well. im happy if i get to do it now#cmon nae! sympathy points wont do you any good !!#okay so. tumblr gets to be my little planner too cause i get to write things in the momoment#so im writing things im proud of!#brushed my teeth for more than two mins today#n i actually washed a lil! its embarrassing writing this here because i dont want anyone thinking im dirty.... since its gross#but anyways.. im getting better at putting my phone down at night!#that means fixing my sleep right? i just have to sort out the mornings since i lose track of time#and struggle to leave bed (its too comfyyyy >.<)#and oh. i want to start going on walks..#itll be hard since the house is getting done n stuff but. anytine if the day. i feel like taking walks woukd be better for me#just to keave the house. my eyes always hurts when i steo outside#n thats not good :<#those are my goals for now. i do wanna get closer to my friends. and actually make friends!#ive had no friendships for nearly a year at college lol#its just been 'oh well' but i have actually felt lonely... oh well-#i guess i wanna get closer to people?#and.. talk to ny old friends too#i feel to guilty#im not good with this stuff. it drains me#but anyways. baby steps right? who knows#maybe ill make a friend on the trip! or next year too! that sounds good#ik nobody'll probably read this cause its word vomit lol#but basically yay yippee im feelin kinds alright#<333#posts.nae/rambles
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The way the default "dirt" neighbourhood terrain is my hands-down favourite of all four in neighbourhood view and looks like unending Windows Maze Screensaver texture hell in lot view
#WHY DOES IT REPEAT SO HORRIBLY. EA HOW DID YOU LET THIS GO TO PRINT!?#I know they all have tiling issues but WOOF. The other four are ALRIGHT-ish#the grass terrain is fine to me from lot view. not great not awful either. forgettable just like you want it#the concrete is ugly but only because concrete is ugly. your eye passes over it bc either way it's not pleasant#the desert terrain is where you start to get Some tiling issues. Like you're gonna notice. But you can deal with it#and then the dirt terrain walks into your house and spits in your eye and says look at me. now look at me 800 times#but it's SO PRETTY (to me) in nhood view. Like it looks so much more lush and natural and varied than the regular grass#yes it has tiling issues too but because the colours are more complex my brain doesn't register them as strongly#you're all probably thinking 'what are you TALKING about it's the ugliest one it's called DIRT for a reason'#but idk. it looks kinda marshy and jungle-ish. tropical maybe. just makes me wanna go exploring
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there’s so much i wanna do this week/month/etc but i’m just too sick, i have no energy, i can’t sleep, i’m constantly nauseous and headachey and on the verge of a migraine, i’m stressed and irritable and impatient and panicky…….how tf did i survive nearly 5 years of high school untreated if i can’t even manage this when i don’t have any major obligations rn
#at least i finally got my meds so hopefully i feel a little better soon#although i’m now on 20 pills per day which is Just Great#whenever i’m in remission it’s nice to just. forget sometimes that this can happen at any time#kinda wish i had the typical kinda chronic illness that people talk about with ‘flares’#or at least triggers that i can plan around#the other times have all had an easily identifiable stressor tho tbf. idk what caused this one#the first time was whooping cough and the next few were all very major life stressors like my cat dying right after i started uni#and i think also towards the end of my honours thesis?#but this…….there’s no major stress right now. nothing wildly beyond normal#i’m a little concerned about my joints tho. they’ve been so much worse than normal the last few months#so i’m kinda worried i’m developing rheumatoid arthritis (also an autoimmune disease and it runs in the family specifically)#so if that’s happening then it could set my thyroid off? probably should get to the doctor at some point#obv i’m seeing my endo for thyroid stuff. but i should see my gp and get her to run all the autoimmune blood tests again#i’ve done that before but it’s been a few years and my ankles and knees are so painful i can’t even walk properly a lot of the time#BUT I JUST WANNA DO THINGS I ENJOY AND I CANT AND I WILL CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT#‘oh you’re so lucky you don’t have as many obligations because you’re chronically ill’ ha ha ha please swap lives with me immediately#personal#but seriously. i wasn’t diagnosed until i was nearly 17 and we can trace it back to whooping cough when i was 12#so it was the last half of year 6 and then all of years 7-10 and the start of year 11 of just being. uh. ‘very lazy and complaining a lot’#and TEACHERS joking about me and my sister (who was dealing with an arguably more severe undiagnosed disease) missing so many classes#wow so funny pdhpe teacher who’s supposed to be teaching is about health#and the thing with being a mentally ill teenager is that hyperthyroidism can just look like a very severe anxiety disorder#so i didn’t go to the dr until i was too sick to go to school at all. and luckily had a good dr who did a blood test#i’m just rambling now because i can’t sleep and i don’t wanna lie here doing nothing#might go play pvz or something. that’s been keeping me entertained
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Thinking abt Sif Odile duo looping au again and I wanna be able to plot everything out more coherently but act 5 eternally looms overhead and boy I do not wanna look up
#rat rambles#stars posting#like I have a vague idea of some of the like themes I imagine being present late game but it doesnt change the fact that act 5 isnt very#duo looper au friendly especially in this case with most of the ideas I have#I rly want it to be both a breaking point for them as individuals and a breaking point for their relationship but idk how to go about that#fully taking the rest of the party into account especially since Im not even sure if I wanna give odile her own friendquests#like I Could but I also think it'd be fun for many reasons to not#and even if I Did itd be hard to justify having both be able to happen and go wrong in one loop#and theres not rly a good solution to that I think so my best bet is probably to just leave odile friendquestless#but Id rly like to still have odile quarrel with the rest of the party in a significant way#idk maybe it can be the scene where sif comes back to the lighthouse or smth?#like he comes back and odile just completely lashes out at him or smth and the others get rly upset with her#but then theres also the whole walk through the house that I have to figure out and Im also not set on how that should go#maybe it can be like reality almost splitting as they both try to use timecraft at the same time?#not sure how Id go about portraying that in story though since the rest of the party cant rly experience that I think#Im sure theres some way you could pull that off tho Im just too tired to have any good ideas atm#and then the biggest bastard comes in. mal moments.#like I cant just put them both there! that's not how that works!#and I dont wanna just leave them mostly vanilla thats boringgggg#but Id probably have to. alas.#afterwards is also a bit fuzzy but I have rhe general idea down#me and the bestie when we both made the same wish but dont know that and have both been falling into a spiral over it#(we dont even realize that the part of the wish that was the exact same was the core of the wish)#(we both just thought that we accidentally trapped the other with us in this hell)#(we also have been actively getting worse at communicating for months now so by the time the wishcraft stuff came up we were both deep in#the no feelings talky talk zone)#(we probably should have known smth was up when everyone started consistently thinking that we had a fight every loop)#(maybe we did but we just didnt want to admit they were right)#god I wish I was more confident with writing odile dialogue I wanna draw scenes from this au so bad#it doesnt help that I got too comfortable being into a media that had like 3 fans and now ppl might actually look at what I create
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Me, at my coworker: I finished both Kyoshi novels. Coworker: Uh oh. How you holding up? Me: I thinking about walking into traffic
#silly talks#silly story time#no this is a legit interaction#they're going to listen to the novels too fkdjsafj;dfa#Me: I have two Yangchen novels left and then maybe the author's two original novels (and roku later this year but by a diff author)#me: but if rangi's not in it then why the fuck should I still be alive??? TT0TT#(I'm currently going through yangchen's now dw i'm not walking anywhere that'd require effort ....that's a joke it's all a joke really dw)#please god please FC Yee I'm on my KNEES#gimme one more Kyoshi novel I BEG TT0TT#I'll take a prequel have kyoshi rangi and yun go on a lil adventure please#maybe it's after they first met! and they're getting to know each other (I just need more Rangi/yun interactions they dont talk a lot TT0TT#and have both rangi/yun vying for Kyoshi's affection at some point and kyoshi is just fucking BLIND about it lksdjflkj it'll be soo funny#I'll take a sequel too! i wanna see what a more established/stable Team Avatar (Kyoshi) is like!#maybe foreshadow more of her path to (near) immortality and chin's rise to power#maybe even get a jump start on the Kyoshi warriors (and maybe her and Rangi finding and adopting Kok? *w* maybe she's the first warrior?)#'silly you just want more rangi and rangshi content' I DO I'M SO FUCKING SOFT ABOUT THEM RN TT0TT#(I'll take a szeto and kuruk novel idc if kuruk's story was basically summarized i'd love to hear more uwu)
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it happened so early in the morning and i am STILL frothing with rage over this text my boss sent me
#unreasonable unbelievable targeting me bullshit like what is your problem what is your PROBLEM#are you punishing me preemptively for telling you i'm going back to school? LOL? cuz sure That makes me wanna stay!#i am splitting so viciously on her right now and i can't even care to wish i wasn't#this was the last fucking straw mentally for me on Trusting This Boss#and i sure as shit can't trust the one above her#i am soooo mad i am so mad i am so mad i am so mad#i just want to be transferred out already and start part time work somewhere else NOW#if i can leave earlier i fucking will#i will be without insurance for a bit but i can try to get on some fast#i just. ooh! ooooh!!!! you little fucker!!!!!!!!#i cannot trust a single person in the front of the building anymore#and i have to sit next to my least favorite person in the back now#and i am just. utterly miserable right now i am Miserable at this job that isn't even as bad as it could be#but holy shit the petty condescending bullshit is driving me fucking up the wall#i can't look at any of them!!!! without feeling intense hatred!!!!#i have no social life outside of work and i can't talk to ANYONE there about this because it'd just find its way back to her!!!!#i can't tell HR because it's not that serious! except it's driving my mental health into a tailspin!#but i still can't tell anyone!!!!!!!! because what proof do i have that she's singling me out!#even tho she has NEVER FUCKING DONE THIS TO OR ABOUT OTHER PPL#i can't Prove that and i sure as shit can't sit down with her and talk to her about my feelings#no job is ever fucking safe to do that in#i just want to walk into a river honestly like i need work so i can pay for college but i wanna be in college already and be Out of here#i just wanna skip to the END of college when i'm actually able to be a nurse and i can feel less like the butt monkey at work#i hate hate HATE being at the bottom of the totem pole i am literally nothing there even though they need me to function#but oh my gd the Looks people give me when i walk in a room like they expect bad news or to be annoyed#sorry for asking questions! would you rather i fuck up and you have to clean up the mess?#i clean up everyone else's messes all day!#they ARE going to feel it when i am not there anymore#you'd think they wouldn't be such cunts to me now but Nope. nope! almost All cunts.#i am so fucking angry at my boss in particular though that text fucking triggered rage i haven't felt in months
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my father telling me how scared he was when i ran away from the house but i cant express how scared i was 2 b in the house
hey, whats up w/that?
#whenever we ‘hang out’ he likes 2 make the topic as depressing as possible by always talking abiut the past#& it is the most annoying shit ever i will not lie BC I DONT WANT 2 TALK ABOUT DEATH & THE ABUSE EVERY TIME I SPEAK 2 U#yk? thag makes sense in my head#anyways he started talking abiut how terrified he was when i had ran away multiple times a couple yrs ago & when i say a couple i mean#i have no idea how long ago bc memory is a bitch#but it had 2 b like middle school - sophmore?#multiple times & like i just wanna shake him bc LITERLLY WHAT & WHO DO U THINK I WAS RUNNING AWAY FROM#GODDAMNN I H8 BING THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS HOUSE WHO CAN EXPRESS EMOTIONS & NOT LET THEM EFFECT HOW I VIEW THE OTHER#‘oh u ran in the park u ran in the park’ i didnt run in the fuckinggppaaarrkrkkkk AAAAAAAAAA I MET A NICE LADY WHO HAD A GOAT IN THE#SPARTMENTS I FRIECIENTED OFTEN WHEN I WAS YOUNGER#i cant express how safe the goddamn goat lady & her kid made me feel vs my parents who started hunting 4 me#like ive been dragged home so many times im not going through that shit again#i miss the goat the mom & the kid we were just chilling @ like midnight 4 a bit#did this turn in2 a vent? idk#i do this a lot ill prolly delete this soonish when im kore calm#bc rn i want 2 chuck bricks in my laundry machine & watch them fly out & hit whatever#im going back 2 watching anime if i have 2 talk 2 1 other person i will actually explode#like irl person not online the silly gay ppl in my phone r super cool & amazing & i love them#im srry 4 bing a dick btw#i cant explain it i mean i could but i cant im just my brain is telling me eveyr1 h8s me & MAN i h8 it when it does#so im just frightened & by golly & am i havign a cheery time yipyipyip#typing in tags is sm easier than in a post bc i dont think most ppl read tags lol#the more i think about my past the more i wonder wtf am i doing here#bc how did i even get out of the house in the 1st place & then ontop of that was able 2 hide#like what……#bc they were fucking grabbing me n shit & they have CARS like i didnt go in the park i walked the sidewalks HOW DID I MOT GET CAUGHT??#MULTIPLE TIMES??? LIKE I ‘ran away’ MULTIPLE TIMES#i didnt exactly run away tho bc i didnt want them 2 file police shit i didnt eant 2 deal w/that & also hirt the pll i stayed over w/#so i always went back. obviously blehhh#ug hj hhhh my heads hurting again this is like the 4th day in a row :((
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brooo i hate having Dreams That Piss You Off i woke up all pissed off at NOTHIIINNNNNGGGGG
#dreamt that my ex (platonic we were toxic besties) fucking CASED MY HOUSE#i saw him through the fucking WINDOW taking PICTURES of my FUCKING BEDROOM#shoved my hand through the blinds to flip him off and he took off running#i ripped down the blinds and slammed open the window and yelled HOW DID YOU FIND MY HOUSE#he said something like What and i yelled louder HOW DID YOU FIND MY FUCKING HOUSE. MOM FUCKING MIKE IS HERE#she came up to the window and pointed at him and said I HATE YOUR FUCKING GUTS#and i climbed out the window and he was like OH MY GOD BITCH CALM DOWN and i yelled HOW DID YOU FIND MY HOUSE#and his backup (of course he had backup) was like oh dude shes pissed and misty (WHY WAS MISTY THERE??) was like PET OMG CALM DOWN#and mike said WELL I HAD TO SNEAK! YOU ALWAYS FUCKING DO THIS YOU JUST VANISH! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRYING THAT IS?!#and i yelled HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FIND MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!!!!!! YOU PIGFUCKING BASTARD!!!!!!!!! ANSWER ME#and he yelled I WENT TO THE ARMY!! I DIDNT KNOW WHERE YOU WERE BUT I KNOW YOUR LAST NAAME BITCH and i bluescreened#and he went NO ONE KNEW WHERE YOU WENT!! YOU JUST WENT CRAZY AND LEFT#and i said DON'T FUCKING BLAME THIS (GESTURING BETWEEN US) ON ME YOU FUCKING DUMPED ME#and after some more argument we wound up inside. in like. a dorm common room. me & mike sitting in separate chairs not looking at each other#and he asked how have you been. and i said Fine. How's your mom. (i have known she died for years)#and he went into how she died of cancer that he should have had her check out but he didnt bc he thought it was just her being funny again#and then into how his latest best friend died of alcohol poisoning after mike started a co-binge. and i said im so fucking sorry dude#thats so awful. and he snapped at me Why the fuck are you talking about ME thats all you ever talk about!! youre obsessed!!#and i said What the fuck are you on about and his backup was like Oh please he told us how you're obsessed with him and youre still doing it#and i looked at the backup. and i looked at mike. and i stood up and said Thats all i needed to know. fuck you both. and walked off#turned to misty and said Good to see you again. if you wanna hang out sometime I'm down. WITHOUT (pointing at mike) him.#it was. ph my fucking god. aaauhhjgh FUCK. i hope shared dreams are real i hope he heard the contempt in my voice as i told him to fuck off#and also WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT
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#Theres some real depression that sinks in I dunno 9 pm on a Sunday#Not only where did the weekends go and what did I do with#(And the answer to that is chores and errands and nothing else)#But like#I get two days that pass by like wind and then its back to a job I dont super want to stay at#And it was my best option after leaving Whitney and now I feel stuck#It feels like Im just a rat stuck in a cage#But no I didnt even get to walk to the coffee shop#I did get volun-signed up to friggin move a big ass couch we sold on FB marketplace#In which Im a bit salty for#But time to myself is like not much#And idk it just really feels bad Sunday night#I dont wanna go to work and deal with Rich#Particularly bc he and I nearly got in a yelling match and I KNOW his ass complained to the store manager#And I just dont like working with him#I need to start hitting the job search and doubling down again#its just disappointing 😕#I feel like this is all Im ever going to be#Like this os my ceiling and all I have to live for is some small windows of time to idk#Read a book or play video games on Saturday Sunday#I feel like Im not living#Sigh#Anyway#Sorry this is too much#Who would ever even want to hear me talk about this#Long tags are long#Long post nobody read
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