#and i wanna start walking my talk
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Daniel Molloy + first impressions
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#daniel molloy#louis de pointe du lac#raglan james#armand#1x06#2x03#my edits#gif#gifset#devil's minion#armandaniel#armaniel#bc ofc#daniel when the average person wants to start a conversation: đ¤¨đâĄď¸#but armand's power!!#no disapproval move without uttering a word + daniel at a loss for words + daniel following him with his eyes like damn!#and the diegetic use of baby strange in the bar scene đ#âI see you walking; I see you talking with all my friends; I'm shadowed under; You're like some thunder; I wanna be your friendâ#âI wanna call you; I wanna ball you all night long; In winds of passion my whip is lashing; I wanna get you and thenâ#âOoo you're strange; Don't lame me baby strange don't lame me babyâ
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OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#cw blood#cw gore#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#vex waylin#viv waylin#MY FAVORIT EP!! HAVNT SEEN IT IN FOREVER THO BC WELL. IM BUSY. SO BEAR W ME IM RUNNIN OFF ALOTTA MEMORY FUMES#ALSO EDIT BC FUUUCK I HADMORE TAGS BUT TUMBLR FUCKEN ATE EM. OH WELL. MY DMS R OPEN IF U WANNA UNLOCK RAMBLES.#I LOVE THE WAYLIN TWINS SSSOO FUCKING MUCH IM SO!!! CURIOUS ABOUT THEM!!! WHO WERE THEY WHEN THEY WERE HUMAN? HOW LONGVE THEY BEEN ARND?#I LOVE IT WHEN PPL SAY ITS LIKE THESE TWO WERE MADE FOR MMEE BC YES!! YES!! ITS EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT FROMA CHARACTER!!!#I LOVE THEIR RED WHITE N BLACK COLOR SCHEME. I LOVE HOW THEYRE BOTH SO INTELLIGENT AND GENIUS N YET THEYRE DUMB AS FUUUUCK#COOOMICAL SUPER VILLAINS. OOH ILL GET YOU NEXT TIME SHAMIA SHAMAI!!! HOW DARE YOU FOIL MY PLAN!! MY PLANS OF MUTILATING AWAKE N ALIVE PPL#COMICAL AND YET. GENUINELY HORRIFYING. VIV CAN MAKE UR BONES EXPLODE JUST BY THINKING ABOUT IT. VEX CAN BECOME SOUP#WHY DONT WE TALK ABOUT THAT MORE? THE TURNING INTO RED MEAT SLIME?? METAL AS FUUUCK. I ALSO LOVE HOW SCARED THEY GOT SO QUICKLY#THIS LIL FUCKEN RRRRRAT COMES IN. AND WELL. HES JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS. WE FUCK HIM UP N TOSS HIM INTO THE SUN N LET HIM BURN#SURE HE HAD ONE MORE TRICK OF REBELLION UP HIS SLEEVE BUT THE SUN HAS TAKEN HIM NOW. ITS FINE. WE'RE FINE. HEY IS THERE SMTH IN THE CEILING#OHHH WE KILLED HIM ONCE N HE CAME BACK. WE KILLED HIM AGAIN N TOOK HIM APART BUT THEN HES BACK?? HE GETS AWAY AND THEN. COMES BACK. AGAIN.#WE CANT GET RID OF HIM. THAT FOUL SHAMIA SHAMAI. A MOUSE IN OUR KITCHEN. FUUUUCK HES GONNA SPREAD DISEASE! KILL IT! KILL IT!! AAAUUGH FUCK!#I LOVE THAT THE WAYLIN TWINS AGREED TO HELP THE BLONDE TWINS MOSTLY ON THE BASIS OF 'IT WOULD BE FUNNY' BUT ALSO#OOHHH WE ARE SO CLOSE TO REACHING SOMETHING TO MAKE HIM NNEEVER FUCK WITH US AGAIN. HIS ILLUSIONS WILL HAUNT US NO LONGER#THEY WERE SSSOOO PARANOID W ALL THE CAMERAS AND BOMBING THEIR OWN LAB AND RUNNING AND RUNNING AND GETTING AWWAY FROM THIS FUCKEN! MOUSE!!!!#OHHHH I THINK IM RUNNIN OUTA ROOM so ill talk about da art real quick.BEEN WORKIN ON THIS FOR A WHIIILE.ALOTTA THESE were started when the#ep came out.so OLD!! BUT DONE!!and im very very happy w my colors n gore n EXPRESSIONS!! the top right corner comic keeps making me chuckle#I ALSO rly love the lil convo between arthur n viv.theyre SO CUTE TOGETHERR they should go ona museum date together or somethin#they need more time to just talk abt da World together.ALSO CAN I BE PETTY.I MADE ARTHUR UGLY CORRECT-STYLE#THESE BOYS KNOW NOTHING OF UGLY.I MADE THE VAMPIRIC FLESH EVOLVE N ROT N BLOSSOM AND THERE IS SQUIRMING WITHIN THE TENEBRAE#UHHH IEAH THIS GUY W A ROTTED N DISTORTED FACE WALKS INTO MY BIKE STORE IEAH IM SCREAAAMIN LIKE WADDA HELL!! MONSTOR!!!
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a slight continuation of this
no caller ID pops on your screen, pulling your attention away from your previous task at hand: not fucking up your eyeliner. you typically wouldnât care if it was a little uneven, but youâre going on a date tonight, for the first time in so long, and you want everything to go as smoothly as possible.
which is why you groan when you end the call, and that same no caller ID pops right back up seconds later. you know who it isâwho else would it be? you figured heâs already seen your story of being excited for going on your first date in a while, on the only app you hadnât blocked him on. petty? perhaps, but itâs on him to be keeping up with you despite you cursing him out for wasting your time and then blocking him right after.
you watch it ring though, contemplating for a while longer than you should. you blocked him for a reason. no need to entertain his same shit that he always spews to you when he realizes that he might be losing you once more?
âŚ.but it doesnât hurt to hear the hero beg for you.
âWhat do you want, Bakugou?â You sigh irritably as you finally answer his call, putting him on speaker as you go back to even out your eyeliner. You hear him huff on the other side of the phone at the use of his surname, but he doesnât say anything about it, instead, quickly telling you what heâs been bothering you for.
âWhoâs the fuckinâ loser thatâs gonna drool over how good your tits look in that stupid green dress you love so much?â Bakugou grunts, and you instantly feel your face heating at his crude words. You glance over with a frown at that same green dress that makes your tits look good, where it hangs on your closet.
âNone of your damn business, Bakugou.â You snap at him, wondering if itâs too late to find something else to wear. âNot like you ever took me out in my stupid green dress.â Your voice holds a level of bitterness that only he can bring out of you, and you hear his sigh through the speakers.
âI told you this before, Iâm alwaysââ
âBusy.â You cut him off, voice suddenly thick as you think back on the countless rejections heâs splattered at your feet every time you tried to further your relationship with him. âYou reminded me of how busy youâve been since you first started this whole situationship.â
âSituationâ? Huh? We were dating!â Bakugou protests with a huff, and you can hear how he paces the floor quickly. You glare at your phone, setting down your liner to instead pick of your (his) favorite lipgloss.
âYouâd have to ask me out to be dating, Bakugou. Youâd have to court me to be dating, Bakugou. Youâd have to make time for me and take me out on dates and not hide me to fucking date me, Bakugou.â You spit at him, venom dripping off of your lips in waves. You donât know why you answered, why you even entertained him. You shake your head with a huff when the line goes quiet, eyebrows quirking up when your date sends you a text to make sure youâre still on for tonight.
âIâm sorry.â Bakugou mutters pathetically, his voice suddenly soft. You hesitate, for some reason, when it comes to texting your date back. Why do you always hesitate when Bakugou is around?
âLet me make it up to you, court you, and shit. I can take you to one of my favorite places, you can wear that pretty green dress and that gloss you know I love.â His voice is pleading, thickening and sweet and suffocating. You shouldnât respond, should reply back a yes to your date.
âPlease? You know how much you mean to me.â Bakugou mumbles, and you can hear the earnestness in his voice. Why havenât you said yes to your date yet?
âIâll do better this time. Just one more chance, sweetheart.â Bakugouâs voice is so soft, youâve never heard him this vulnerable before. You sigh with a shake of your head, slumping back into your seat in defeat.
âŚ
Sorry, I canât make it tonight. Something came up. Maybe we can reschedule for another time?
#sorry this is kinda angsty lol#but I saw this tt earlier where this girl was so giddy bc âno caller idâ called LOL#and it just reminded me of the first part to this#at first heâs all âno we canât date bc of xyz bullshit reasonâ#but the moment youâre like âIâm done w this toxic back n forth weâre not even a coupleâ#heâs like WE WERE TOGETHER THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!#delusion is what I like to call it#also he definitely takes you out to a place thatâs very secluded and exclusive#to shut you up for the time being#the whole âat least I took you out!â shtick#I hate him actually#but the toxic hate sex goes crazy âđť#okay gn Iâm sleepy and I felt so shitty today#or yesterday#so Iâm hoping today will be better#maybe Iâll mediate before I start on my work#I wanna go on a walk sometime this week bc itâs gonna be great weather but my anxiety keeps telling me#that one of the stray cats or foxes is gonna attack me AKSJDKDJDJD#omg does anyone remember me talking about that calico kitty in my backyard at one point???#I havenât seen her since and I hope sheâs okay :( we miss her :(#ânew treat in the streets! đŤ#bakugou treats! đŹ
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Wore my Red Hot Chili Peppers t-shirt to rehab today and one of the other patients was like "Hey, are you a Swiftie?"
My dude. Read the shirt
#everyone's talking about t swift cuz she's in town this week for several nights#i didn't even know until this person asked me and then told me why they asked#i wasn't mean. i was just like 'oh that's not really my kind of music'#but like. i am so very far from a swiftie in so many ways... have you looked at me at all ever....#then later i was walking laps and one of the volunteers pointed at my headphones and asked 'Linkin Park?'#and I was like HELL YEAH YOU KNOW IT#mod post#music#not tagging that artist in particular indon't wanna start drama lol
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five stages of grief but itâs five stages of social anxiety
#walk with me#this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere#the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad#count on the person**#i immediately knew itâs from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them#in the sense that itâs very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other#it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time#idk why i think this whole year iâve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too#so weâve been more properly friends lately#and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and iâm not used to#gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it#and everyone asked about them and itâs EMBARRASSING to get that much attention#(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: canât stand to be the center of attention)#anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didnât reply to their texts all#weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone#so they didnât talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever#and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc itâs the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more#and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didnât say a single word to each other today we just texted#they told me they sent them and that âthey forgotâ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture#and that bc they wanted to âsurpriseâ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek#i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on#bc now iâm second guessing everything theyâre saying bc i thought we were friends and thereâs no reason why friends canât send each other#flowers or whatever but theyâve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc#iâm never outright romantic with anyone?? plus weâre FRIENDS i should have no reason to think thatâs changed#but theyâre being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i donât NEED flowers#and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and theyâre like no itâs serious bro whatâs serious??????#your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up???#if they donât reply straight up in their next texts iâm gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right???#so yeah iâm overthink getting flowers bc whatâs the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend#delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think theyâre from a partner or something
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Sort of a ramble, sort of me just writing my thoughts out while I'm stuck with writer's block, but I keep thinking about how Fulcrum was in stasis for roughly 3 million years??
Like, that's a long time, even for Cybertronians. Not a really long time, not an entire lifespan. But still, it's a large chunk of a normal lifespan just gone. Poof.
One second you're crawling across the pockmarked terrain of an alien planet, surrounded by the sound of gunfire, and the shouting and screaming before and after each earth shuddering impact of another k-con hitting the ground. And then it's quiet. You're not there anymore. You're drifting somewhere between not alive and just asleep. Preserved somewhere in the background of a doomed body, ignored by time and space, still here, but also not.
And then there's sound. Not gunfire. Not shouting or screaming. Not the sounds that'll haunt you till your dying days, your own death sentence pounding in your head. No. Just voices, talking, standing out against a silent, dead world. Wondering. Joking. Bickering. Familiar. Just, not familiar to you. And you're awake. Pulled back from the nothingness you've been frozen in, consciousness tugged forwards with the yank of a fuel pump and the nearness of life.
These two moments are roughly 3 million years apart, but only minutes, maybe even seconds, to him. From a hectic harrowing battlefield, to an old silent graveyard in one blink.
How long did it take to really sink in? I mean, he seems to just roll with it. He doesn't seem particularly bothered. But like, what happened outside of what we see? How did he really feel?
Also, his body aged without him. While his mind preserved itself, freezing him as he was right then, his body was left to weather Clemency for all those years. No wonder it crumbled to dust when he jumped off the world sweeper. It's probably a miracle of some kind that it didn't just fall apart each time someone leaned on him.
And even after they rebuild him, give him a better, newer body. His spark, it's casing, all the irreplaceable core bits that make up their inner bodies, it aged in the time without him. Does he feel it? Does it make his body even more foreign to him?
Then he's also a technician with information that's 3 million years out of date. Lucky him that the scavengers probably weren't working with top of the line material. But still it's gotta be weird when faced with anything brand new, because a lot can change and progress in 3 million years, and now some of the knowledge he once prided himself in is obsolete.
Besides those things, his view of the galaxy, of the war, of their kind, of other kinds, is one of the few things actually pointed out when it comes to him being stuck in the past. So, how often were his old views challenged? Facts of life he held close proved to no longer true? There's 3 million years worth of new science, new beliefs, new words, new terms, new views.
And sure, some of it can be familiar, because they're an ever evolving kind, and they have patterns, core beliefs, repeating behaviors, but a lot of it's gonna be unfamiliar at the same time, because it's 3 million years worth of catch up, it's not like missing last week's trend.
In a way, it makes him a living relic of a bygone era for Decepticons. It would've been really interesting to have had that explored a little more.
#rq i wanna say i love seeing others thoughts on these if you have them. esp those that have thought about it longer than i lol#like. im still just starting to sink my teeth into the lore and put things together. so your thoughts are much appreciated#sometimes i wish that i could turn these rambles into those really well worded. slightly pretentious. but in a fun way. character metas?#but i dont think i can organize my thoughts that well. so. rambles it is lol#not to say rambling is lesser or smth tho. i love a good ramble. love to read them. i support ramblers#speaking of rambling-#idk why it fascinates me so. but theres just something rlly interesting about fulcrum being somewhat stuck in the past#i think it could've played interestingly into his and kroks dynamic had it been explored more?#like. the past and history play big parts in their lives. krok having studied it. and fulcrum having been fast forwarded thru it#it would've been interesting to see them talk more about it? since logically fulcrum wouldve gone to krok for more of the 3mill year rundow#and its like. krok is shown to be really knowledgeable on not only history. but cultures as well. theres and others.#so certain eras of their own culture would probably be a slight interest of his. esp decepticon ones.#and then theres fulcrum. who pretty much got plucked from the empire era only to land in kroks lap (metaphorically) ((...unless?))#so heres this walking talking piece of history. and a dude that has a sort of passion for history. why not explore it more?#and like. yeah. the ''history'' krok has studied is all mostly shit he lived through. but people study the times they lived through-#-because while they may have lived through it. theirs is only one perspective. a good historian takes into account multiple perspectives#idk where i'm going with this now. smth smth fulcrum relying on krok for future stuff and krok having someone to talk history stuff with#i just. augh. i wanna know what their dynamic is more. what we see in the comics is so back and forth at times#like. they seem to hit it off pretty well. but then fulcrum fucks it up ig by being oblivious and a little too ''i can fix him'' vibey#and his taste in comedy is bad. to say the least. which is apparently grounds for messy divorce#also krok is sometimes cool with selling a whole dude. at least when the dude is their befriended giant killer autobot buddy :/#that is also grounds for divorce. obviously#sorry. this is derailing the more i start thinking about how messy fulkrok could be. like. ough <3#they're a little ''i hate my wife'' coded. but in a greater scav codependent poly way. and it's more krok being annoyed with fulcrum#its like. fulcrum: ''i can fix him bcs i need to feel validated'' vs krok: ''wtf is wrong with this guy?! who does he think he is??''#i think they'd want to pick each other apart intellectually. maybe emotionally. smth smth two officers. both disgraced. and power dynamics#its fun. they're both hypocrites. they'd need couples therapy. its also 4am. shit. ok goodnight
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anyway on a totally different note. times like these i wonder why i dont just buy a cane for mobility aid. like. sure i dont always âneedâ it. but that⌠doesnt mean i Never need it⌠like even without a sprained ankle i literally limp home far more often than not cos i just get so worn out and my feet hurt. and its like. i make light of it like haha yeah i sprain my ankle a lot like once a year at least gee i wonder why, haha yeah like i have zero walking stamina when i get tired i just start dragging myself forward moreso than actually walk.
but maybe theres something to that eh. đđ§ thiiiink motherfucker. think!
#incoherent turtle noises#ive known for a while that i could rly use a cane sometimes. might make walking a lil easier for me and i dont have to start falling apart#or ask for my hand to be held or for breaks to sit down just to walk 30min frm point a to point b. but i just never feel like..#like i need it âenoughâ. and. part of it too is my mom. the idea that i would need help. and sheâs⌠idk. i dont wanna talk abt it.#somethingâs all rotten and tangled up inside my brain when it comes to things that i need and thing that i deserve. sighs.
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đ â§âË â
#i know im way too intense and melodramatic#but i keep feeling so sad and starting to cry constantly bc everything reminds me of him#like when im outside and feel the breeze against me all i can think is how i'll never walk next to him and know what his hand feels in mine#when im going on an errand i think of im never gonna do it with him and feel his hand on the small of my back#and turn my head to look up at him while we're talking abt anything and everything#when im on my walks i get so sad bc i've fantasized a million times abt going on different kinds of walks with him#but now i dont even have the hope that i'll ever get to go on a walk with him and point at all the birds i see#or show him the snails i find :c or talk to him or walk in comfortable silence#when it rains .. he reminds me of rain and i feel so sad bc i'll never be held or hold him while it rains outside#when im in the grocery store all i can think abt is how he will never occupy the empty space around me#i'll never get to walk up next to him while he browses a shelf and grab his arm and pull him close to me#i'll never get to put my arms around his waist and feel him pull me close and rest my head against his shoulder#it's all i can think abt....#when i read a book or watch a show i wanna talk to him abt it. when smth happens i want to tell him#i wont ever get to cook for him or take care of him or listen to his worries and try to be there for him#i'll never get to play video games or watch movies with him#the loss of him hurts so bad bc it's just him him him for me (i know it cant be anymore i know) but no one is him#i keep wondering what he'd think of this or that or just like literally everything#i dont know.. i just keep crying bc i think of it all the time and it hurts so bad bc ???#also he's the only one i've felt safe and comfortable showing certain sides of aspect of myself. i never thought it was possible but w him#it was. so idk i feel so hollow on my own account lol... i feel selfish bc ofc i care abt him and want him to be happy but i hurt sm too so
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Why are we calling him "Alpha Dave" when we could be calling him "Big D"?
#or d-rector#like d erector#but seriously is big d not like the douchiest and most perfect name for him in keeping with strider tradition#im cryin#maybe hi also so maybe im just laughing at nothing#alpha dave#alpha dave strider#d strider#alpha bro#homestuck#god im not even kidding i swear im gonna start calling him that until it catches on#gonna have to canonize it in some fan fiction but what to write for it hmm#maybe fan art instead idk ive never drawn dave i dont think#ShitPost.exe#Cori.exe#also wanna clarify something here all dave striders are trans men hussie personally told me when he crawled out from my drain this morning#also also sorry if someone else said this before me i came up with it bc i walk talking about alpha daves big d energy
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maybe I'm comfortable with tumblr because I get to say things I don't usually tell anyone
#like how my day is? or what dumb stuff im doing lol#my âsafe spaceâ where i got to meet people somehow (and theyre very cool :3c)#well. im happy if i get to do it now#cmon nae! sympathy points wont do you any good !!#okay so. tumblr gets to be my little planner too cause i get to write things in the momoment#so im writing things im proud of!#brushed my teeth for more than two mins today#n i actually washed a lil! its embarrassing writing this here because i dont want anyone thinking im dirty.... since its gross#but anyways.. im getting better at putting my phone down at night!#that means fixing my sleep right? i just have to sort out the mornings since i lose track of time#and struggle to leave bed (its too comfyyyy >.<)#and oh. i want to start going on walks..#itll be hard since the house is getting done n stuff but. anytine if the day. i feel like taking walks woukd be better for me#just to keave the house. my eyes always hurts when i steo outside#n thats not good :<#those are my goals for now. i do wanna get closer to my friends. and actually make friends!#ive had no friendships for nearly a year at college lol#its just been 'oh well' but i have actually felt lonely... oh well-#i guess i wanna get closer to people?#and.. talk to ny old friends too#i feel to guilty#im not good with this stuff. it drains me#but anyways. baby steps right? who knows#maybe ill make a friend on the trip! or next year too! that sounds good#ik nobody'll probably read this cause its word vomit lol#but basically yay yippee im feelin kinds alright#<333#posts.nae/rambles
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The way the default "dirt" neighbourhood terrain is my hands-down favourite of all four in neighbourhood view and looks like unending Windows Maze Screensaver texture hell in lot view
#WHY DOES IT REPEAT SO HORRIBLY. EA HOW DID YOU LET THIS GO TO PRINT!?#I know they all have tiling issues but WOOF. The other four are ALRIGHT-ish#the grass terrain is fine to me from lot view. not great not awful either. forgettable just like you want it#the concrete is ugly but only because concrete is ugly. your eye passes over it bc either way it's not pleasant#the desert terrain is where you start to get Some tiling issues. Like you're gonna notice. But you can deal with it#and then the dirt terrain walks into your house and spits in your eye and says look at me. now look at me 800 times#but it's SO PRETTY (to me) in nhood view. Like it looks so much more lush and natural and varied than the regular grass#yes it has tiling issues too but because the colours are more complex my brain doesn't register them as strongly#you're all probably thinking 'what are you TALKING about it's the ugliest one it's called DIRT for a reason'#but idk. it looks kinda marshy and jungle-ish. tropical maybe. just makes me wanna go exploring
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Thinking abt Sif Odile duo looping au again and I wanna be able to plot everything out more coherently but act 5 eternally looms overhead and boy I do not wanna look up
#rat rambles#stars posting#like I have a vague idea of some of the like themes I imagine being present late game but it doesnt change the fact that act 5 isnt very#duo looper au friendly especially in this case with most of the ideas I have#I rly want it to be both a breaking point for them as individuals and a breaking point for their relationship but idk how to go about that#fully taking the rest of the party into account especially since Im not even sure if I wanna give odile her own friendquests#like I Could but I also think it'd be fun for many reasons to not#and even if I Did itd be hard to justify having both be able to happen and go wrong in one loop#and theres not rly a good solution to that I think so my best bet is probably to just leave odile friendquestless#but Id rly like to still have odile quarrel with the rest of the party in a significant way#idk maybe it can be the scene where sif comes back to the lighthouse or smth?#like he comes back and odile just completely lashes out at him or smth and the others get rly upset with her#but then theres also the whole walk through the house that I have to figure out and Im also not set on how that should go#maybe it can be like reality almost splitting as they both try to use timecraft at the same time?#not sure how Id go about portraying that in story though since the rest of the party cant rly experience that I think#Im sure theres some way you could pull that off tho Im just too tired to have any good ideas atm#and then the biggest bastard comes in. mal moments.#like I cant just put them both there! that's not how that works!#and I dont wanna just leave them mostly vanilla thats boringgggg#but Id probably have to. alas.#afterwards is also a bit fuzzy but I have rhe general idea down#me and the bestie when we both made the same wish but dont know that and have both been falling into a spiral over it#(we dont even realize that the part of the wish that was the exact same was the core of the wish)#(we both just thought that we accidentally trapped the other with us in this hell)#(we also have been actively getting worse at communicating for months now so by the time the wishcraft stuff came up we were both deep in#the no feelings talky talk zone)#(we probably should have known smth was up when everyone started consistently thinking that we had a fight every loop)#(maybe we did but we just didnt want to admit they were right)#god I wish I was more confident with writing odile dialogue I wanna draw scenes from this au so bad#it doesnt help that I got too comfortable being into a media that had like 3 fans and now ppl might actually look at what I create
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Me, at my coworker: I finished both Kyoshi novels. Coworker: Uh oh. How you holding up? Me: I thinking about walking into traffic
#silly talks#silly story time#no this is a legit interaction#they're going to listen to the novels too fkdjsafj;dfa#Me: I have two Yangchen novels left and then maybe the author's two original novels (and roku later this year but by a diff author)#me: but if rangi's not in it then why the fuck should I still be alive??? TT0TT#(I'm currently going through yangchen's now dw i'm not walking anywhere that'd require effort ....that's a joke it's all a joke really dw)#please god please FC Yee I'm on my KNEES#gimme one more Kyoshi novel I BEG TT0TT#I'll take a prequel have kyoshi rangi and yun go on a lil adventure please#maybe it's after they first met! and they're getting to know each other (I just need more Rangi/yun interactions they dont talk a lot TT0TT#and have both rangi/yun vying for Kyoshi's affection at some point and kyoshi is just fucking BLIND about it lksdjflkj it'll be soo funny#I'll take a sequel too! i wanna see what a more established/stable Team Avatar (Kyoshi) is like!#maybe foreshadow more of her path to (near) immortality and chin's rise to power#maybe even get a jump start on the Kyoshi warriors (and maybe her and Rangi finding and adopting Kok? *w* maybe she's the first warrior?)#'silly you just want more rangi and rangshi content' I DO I'M SO FUCKING SOFT ABOUT THEM RN TT0TT#(I'll take a szeto and kuruk novel idc if kuruk's story was basically summarized i'd love to hear more uwu)
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i love my new therapist so much cause sheâs the first person iâve ever met who takes me seriously when i talk about suicide even though i donât have a concrete plan and havenât actually made any attempts yet
#with everyone else itâs like. hey i feel violently suicidal i started s*lf h*rming again and i feel so miserable im in physical pain#âoh cool. well have you attempted suicide in the past?â#no. âwell do you even have a plan for what youâd do?â#also no.#âokay well i donât really care. have some more prescription medication that you continually threaten to od onâ#âbtw have you tried just not being depressed? maybe give that a shot. okay that will be one billion dollars see you next monthâ#but emily (thatâs my new therapists name) actually listens to me#and acknowledges how scary and concerning being in my mindset is#and she walks me through what my options are for when it gets really bad#and i like that when i go quiet cause i donât know what to say she doesnât get frustrated with me for wasting time and she doesnât#put words in my mouth and decide what iâm feeling for me#she asks what im thinking and gives me the space to process what i am thinking and if i canât talk about it she tries to walk me through#the thought process and doesnât push me. if i donât wanna talk i donât have to#basically. i like her a lot so far. and i still feel bad a lot#but having someone finally actually listen and take me seriously makes me feel a little better#she doesnât just repeat âoh itâll get better youâll be fineâ#sheâs willing to stay in the present with me and figure out how iâm going to get through the next week instead of making me figure out my#whole life right now#sigh#snow.txt
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it happened so early in the morning and i am STILL frothing with rage over this text my boss sent me
#unreasonable unbelievable targeting me bullshit like what is your problem what is your PROBLEM#are you punishing me preemptively for telling you i'm going back to school? LOL? cuz sure That makes me wanna stay!#i am splitting so viciously on her right now and i can't even care to wish i wasn't#this was the last fucking straw mentally for me on Trusting This Boss#and i sure as shit can't trust the one above her#i am soooo mad i am so mad i am so mad i am so mad#i just want to be transferred out already and start part time work somewhere else NOW#if i can leave earlier i fucking will#i will be without insurance for a bit but i can try to get on some fast#i just. ooh! ooooh!!!! you little fucker!!!!!!!!#i cannot trust a single person in the front of the building anymore#and i have to sit next to my least favorite person in the back now#and i am just. utterly miserable right now i am Miserable at this job that isn't even as bad as it could be#but holy shit the petty condescending bullshit is driving me fucking up the wall#i can't look at any of them!!!! without feeling intense hatred!!!!#i have no social life outside of work and i can't talk to ANYONE there about this because it'd just find its way back to her!!!!#i can't tell HR because it's not that serious! except it's driving my mental health into a tailspin!#but i still can't tell anyone!!!!!!!! because what proof do i have that she's singling me out!#even tho she has NEVER FUCKING DONE THIS TO OR ABOUT OTHER PPL#i can't Prove that and i sure as shit can't sit down with her and talk to her about my feelings#no job is ever fucking safe to do that in#i just want to walk into a river honestly like i need work so i can pay for college but i wanna be in college already and be Out of here#i just wanna skip to the END of college when i'm actually able to be a nurse and i can feel less like the butt monkey at work#i hate hate HATE being at the bottom of the totem pole i am literally nothing there even though they need me to function#but oh my gd the Looks people give me when i walk in a room like they expect bad news or to be annoyed#sorry for asking questions! would you rather i fuck up and you have to clean up the mess?#i clean up everyone else's messes all day!#they ARE going to feel it when i am not there anymore#you'd think they wouldn't be such cunts to me now but Nope. nope! almost All cunts.#i am so fucking angry at my boss in particular though that text fucking triggered rage i haven't felt in months
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I only went to the two Charlotte races once and yet something is breaking my heart about missing them this year and really wishing that I had gone...
At least I can still watch them, but it doesn't feel the same.. I'll have next year, hopefully at least! Assuming I got the funds for it, haha. I just felt bad for changing my mind on a whim about it even though I kinda wanted to go this whole time since last year cause my dad is the one that pays for the hotels and whatever food we get. But I at least look forward to the fact that I know, regaurdless of how long, those will not be the last races that I will be attending....
#there will be mang more to go to. HOPEFULLY. Theres some talk about getting rid of the roval#which im really sad about cause I like that there is like nobody there cause at the one where it was sold out-#-I got so overwhelemed I had to sit down cause I started feeling faint. It happened only once or twice.#And thankfully it only happened once while I was walking around. but that rest of the race and on the way home-#-my legs were feeling so shakey and weak!#but I will be actually beyond mind blown if they ever ever get rid of the motorspeed way one.#I mean it got sold out last time so I doubt it. but regaurdless of its buisness it is in the heart homeland of NASCAR#perhaps one day I will even go to one outside of NC! At least where I wanna move will be much closer.#I mean it has to be. I literally live like 10min drive from the beach. I am as East as Eastern gets!#but good morning everyone. I wish everyone a happy warm tuesdayđĄđ
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