#and i use the term fun loosely we don't do fun or nice things

[yeslordmyking]

Even after the whole world was on lockdown and couldn’t go out, my parents are still always in a rush to get back home whenever they go somewhere. I’m like how in the world are you not sick of always being home? Don’t you want to be somehwere else for at least a few hours now?

[runningfrom2am]

leveling the playing field XII

summary: with nowhere else to go after getting caught cheating to help lucy gray, you both make some desperately stupid decisions.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.2k

tags/warnings: capitol brat!reader, maybe slightly ooc coryo, idk i tried my best. do they love each other or hate each other? who knows (we do, kind of). use of a derogatory term (pr*stitute) implications and mentions of abuse, so read with caution!! also a little bit of swearing but that's neither here nor there. oh, and manipulation (both of them lowkey)

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a/n: nothing much to say other than thank you guys and i hope you like it :)

series masterlist

"Coryo!" You grin, running out of the house and down the front porch steps, throwing your arms around his shoulders as soon as you can reach him. It had only been a few days since you'd seen him, but you had to do what you had to do. Truth be told, you did miss him, though.

He chuckles as he catches you, carefully letting you down after a moment. "Hey, Y/N/N, how's it going?"

"I'm good." You grin, turning back at the sound of people laughing inside the house. "You have to come in to meet Ash. He's gonna come with us today, and Lucy Gray is packing a picnic! It's gonna be so fun."

"Who?" Coriolanus asks, but you're already gone, heading back up to the house. An uneasy feeling settles in his gut as he follows you, shoving his hands into his pockets as he enters the home. The kids are trying to gather things into bags, and Lucy Gray is packing some food to bring with the group out to the meadow.

You, on the other hand, are wrapped around the arm of a boy who looks like he belongs in the Capitol Zoo. "Coryo, this is Ash. We met at the Hob the other night." You explain, looking between the two of them as Coriolanus clenches his jaw.

"Nice to meet you." He says through gritted teeth, reaching out out of habit to shake the boy's hand. He's got dark hair, and somehow darker eyes. Immediately, he doesn't trust him.

"You too, man. Love the peacekeeper getup." He chuckles, shaking his hand briefly and Coryo quickly recoils to wipe his hand on his pants.

"Oh, Coryo is a peacekeeper." You explain, smiling up at Ash as he drapes an arm around your waist.

"We're in the business of trusting those monsters now?" Ash asks, somehow maintaining a lighthearted tone. Like it was a joke, like Coriolanus was nothing more than his position.

"Only a couple." You laugh, shocking Coryo completely. Not so much as a word in his defense while this district trash said such horrible things about him. He was back to not even being able to recognize you. "Coryo is my best friend. We've known each other since we were kids. Sejanus too."

Best friend... That's it?

"That makes sense then." Ash nods, and Coryo stands up taller as Ash not so subtly sizes him up.

"You know, Sejanus has been awfully chummy with Billy Taupe and his friends. Ash is one of them." You say to Coryo quietly, taking up the rear of the Covey as all of you walk out to the meadow behind the house. "Have you noticed?"

He hums in acknowledgment, thinking it over. "It is odd." He agrees. He has noticed your mutual friend sneaking away on any nights out they could spare, and just generally being more cagey than usual. And it makes more sense that his name would mean anything to your new friend.

"Have you asked him about it?"

"No." He shakes his head. "You should, though. He trusts you more."

"That's not true." You laugh. "You are his best friend, after all."

"As are you." He raises an eyebrow at you.

"Oh, please. He throws that term around too loosely." You roll your eyes playfully.

"And you don't?" He asks, obviously referring to how you called him your best friend earlier. It's working. This was evidence that referring to him that way was driving him crazy- you had him wrapped around your finger, and you loved the feeling.

"Nope." You grin, bumping him with your shoulder. "Have I told you the haircut is really working for you? Because it is."

"Thank you. It wasn't by choice." He explains, smiling at the compliment but shrugging it off.

"I figured." You laugh, reaching up to run your hand over his shaved head. "I miss your curls, though..."

"Y/N! Come here!" Ash calls from up ahead, walking backward now as he waves for you to join him.

"Coming!" You call back, immediately ditching Coryo to catch up with him.

Coryo cringes at how his boots sink into the dirt and how you let Ash yell at you like that. Like you were a dog. You'd hardly known the guy for a few days and he's already talking down to you, Coryo is appalled at your taste. You run up to Ash, immediately reaching up and sticking your hand in his unbrushed hair. If Coryo was a brunette and didn't shower ever, that's probably what his hair would look like. It made him nauseous.

The following night, after Coriolanus complained endlessly to you about the birds he had to spend most of his days trapping, you had a stroke of absolute genius. He really, really hates those birds, just as much as you can tell he already hates Ash.

As the sun is setting over the field surrounding the hanging tree, you tell Lucy Gray you're going for a walk, and off you go into the woods with only your mind to keep you company.

They'd set so many traps it was unbelievable, and a good amount had trapped some of the songbirds inside. They were beautiful creatures, timid, too, for birds who were typically so vocal. They were products of the Capitol, so that would only make sense. You were careful not to make a sound as you opened every trap you could reach. You could just hope that by the time Coryo and his group arrived in the morning, they hadn't been trapped again.

You knew this was likely considered treason, interfering with government projects, but you didn't have a whole lot to lose, and seeing the frustration on Coryo's face when he ranted about how stubborn these birds were made the risk well worth it. It wasn't the revenge you were used to doling out to people who had wronged you, but you had been working on changing, after all.

After setting free no less than twenty birds that blew your hair back out of your face as they shot out of their cages, occasionally thanking you by singing your footsteps back to you or clawing at your arms, you made your way back to the street to head back to Lucy Gray's home.

You sucked your teeth over the stinging in your skin from the small cuts and scrapes that nnow littered your forearms. You suddenly understood why Coriolanus hated the creatures. They were beautiful singers, but clearly so inconsiderate. They'd be trapped again anyways, you were just delaying the inevitable to piss off your friend. They got scratches on you, but your people would still win the war.

You lift the excess fabric of your skirt to pat the beading and drying blood off of your arms as you walk. The town was quiet, only a few people scattered around very rarely. Either homeless or drunk, minding their business as you silently made your way down the dimly lit streets toward the seam. You recognize you're almost home when you pass the Hob, through the alley where Coriolanus graced you with his subpar apology. Squinting toward that same back exit as the door creaks open, you move across the alley to hug the opposite wall as you walk, trying to mind your business.

"Yeah, okay. I'll arrange for that. Thank you, yeah. We'll work it out. I promise." Was that... Sejanus? Your theory is confirmed when the speaker steps out into the alley. It was quiet, a weeknight. If the Hob had been open, it was deadly quiet by this hour.

"Sejanus?" You call out, speaking without thinking.

The boy jumps, slamming the door behind himself and looking toward you quickly. "Y/N? What are you doing here?" You can see the panic in his eyes as you get closer, tucking your bloody and exposed arms behind your back.

"Just out for a walk. I wanted to look at the stars." You nod up to the unpolluted and clear sky to accentuate your point. The sky didn't look like this at home. "What about you?"

"Oh! Uh, same." He lies. "It sure is beautiful out tonight."

"It is." You agree, looking up at the stars for a beat while you cross your arms over your chest in the silence. "Who were you talking to?"

As he panics you try and tuck your arms back once more, the stinging of movement reminding you of why you hid them in the first place. "Just, uh, no one. Myself."

You hum in response. Sejanus made his fake story hard to believe. "Why don't you trust me?" You ask, tilting your head at him. "I feel like after all we've been through, you should trust me more."

"I do trust you." He replies quickly. "It's less about that, more about... I don't want you to get involved. It's better for you."

"Is Coriolanus involved?"

"No. No, he doesn't know anything. Same as you."

You nod slightly, looking him up and down. "Well... If you need help or you're in a tough spot, come to us, okay? There are few people you can trust out here. We have to have each other's backs."

"No, no, it's not like that." He assures you. "But okay. If I need help, I'll ask."

You smile. "Well, you better get back. Don't want to get caught out so late."

"You too, Sage."

You chuckle, giving him a quick wave as you walk back away from him.

Even in the dim lighting, he could see the marks across your arm that you tucked away with your turn, sauntering away casually in the direction of your current home on the Seam.

Coriolanus was walking a beat alongside the market almost a week later, the one his bunkmate usually took, but today he was too hungover to crawl out of bed. Coryo didn't have the stomach to watch you drool all over that district boy today, so he decided to just take the shift for his new friend instead of bothering to see you. Maybe, this would result in Beanpole owing him a favour anyway, and that was always nice to have.

It was a Thursday, so not all that busy at the market. It was mostly just mother's gathering food and supplies, which left him incredibly bored for most of the morning. He was wallowing in his self-pity when something finally drew his attention. Your laugh. He would know it anywhere. He scans the street again, posture straight as he tries to track you down, which doesn't take long.

Of course, there you are with your new friend, his arm over your shoulder as you hold his hand against your chest. God, Coriolanus hopes you don't spot him. He looks straight ahead, chewing on the inside of his cheek and wishing he could disappear. You were torturing him, the fact that you couldn't see that, or you just didn't care, was driving him insane. It was worse than if you had just stayed in the Capitol.

Now, he can't help but focus on your voice on the mostly quiet street.

"No, I know!" You giggle, looking sideways at Coriolanus who stood at the edge of the street. You're sure by now he had seen you. You didn't know he would be here, normally he wouldn't, but it makes the task of agreeing to spend time with Ash more bearable. At least it was for a reason. "I've never touched a mandolin before, how could they expect me to pick it up in one night?"

"Well, I'd sure be surprised if you could. No one learns that fast." Ash replies, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. You hate it, you want to shove him off and hit him where it hurts, but you can't. At least Coryo was here to witness it.

"True." You nod, walking with him slowly past the stalls, browsing at some of the small trinkets and goods they had. It seemed to be all random things, which was foreign to you. Back home, every store had a purpose, even after the war the Capitol held onto this sophistication. "This is so pretty!" You smile, spinning out from under his arm to get a closer look at a dress someone had made. It was shorter than your skirt, typically one that would be worn by a child in this region, but it was oversized enough that you could wear it and it would land mid-thigh.

"How much is this?" You ask the woman sitting behind the wooden table, holding up the dress that she had clearly made.

"Forty." She answers, nodding to you. "It's steep, but I put a lot of work into it. It'll last your daughter a long time."

"Oh, no." You giggle, shaking your head. "I was thinking for me." You say, lifting part of the fabric to admire the stitches.

"For you?" Ash asks, raising an eyebrow at you.

"Yes, what do you think?" You reply, holding it up in front of you. "I like the red accents. It's beautifully made."

"You'll look like a damn prostitute," Ash replies without missing a beat. "That's what I think."

You bite your lip, face going red as you look down at it draped against your body. You're not sure if it's from anger or embarrassment. You sigh, folding it up again and turning to the woman who looks shocked. "I'll take it." You smile suddenly, placing it back down while you dig out some cash from your pocket, handing her fifty. "And don't worry about making change, I just hate carrying coins around."

"Thank you, dear. You enjoy." She smiles gratefully, taking the money and tucking it away in her pocket. You nod at her, and before you even turn around with the new dress under your arm you feel a firm grip on your skin, yanking you away from the stall and into a side street.

"Hey! Let me go!" You shout, trying to peel Ash's grip from your arm where it's digging in so tight it's already flushing the areas and opening your healed scratches from the birds, smearing the drops of blood across your skin.

"No, you listen to me." He says, dropping your arm in favour of pointing a finger right in your face as you're backed up against the wall. "If you're gonna be my girl, I'm not letting you walk around like some kind of whore. Do you understand?" He says, clearly fumingly angry by now.

You laugh, rolling your eyes. "You don't scare me, you're a district-born loser with no fucking job! How dare you try and tell me what to do with my-"

You're cut off when he smacks you. You take a shaky breath, instinctively holding the side of your face where his palm made contact. You feel your confidence faltering with the heat pulsing under your skin, and with your eyes closed in this back alley, suddenly you're back home. But you're not. You're not home, and he's not your father, and here, you're free. You're gonna kill him.

You open your eyes and stand up straighter, looking him dead on as your chest heaves with anger. You shove him back, pulling your arm back in his moment of shock to take a proper swing at him as he scrambles to push you back up against the wall. In your rage, you failed to account for the fact that he was much bigger than you.

"Hey! Back off her! Now!" Coriolanus shouts, clicking the safety off his gun before Ash can lay another hit on you, gun aimed unwaveringly at the boy as he quickly walks toward the two of you.

Ash panics, and you feel this as the forearm he had pressed up against your throat, pinning you to the wall loosened its hold and you shoved him off just in time for Coryo to push his way between the two of you, the barrel of his gun now inches from Ash's nose.

He raises his hands in surrender. "Hey, we're cool. I didn't do nothin' to her."

Coriolanus is fighting every urge to just pull the trigger on the loaded weapon in his hands. For you. For this asshole hurting you, for touching you, for the crime of even looking at you, he should do it. He breathes heavily, every muscle in his jaw constricted so tightly he's sure it'll ache for weeks.

You watch over your friend's shoulder, watching the gears turning in his head. Do it, you want to tell him, but even in your anger you can see that's irrational, so you keep your mouth shut.

Coryo sighs, lowering his weapon to use it to gesture to the street. "Get out of here." He mumbles, deciding to let him go. "And never so much as look at her again, understand?" You're almost a little disappointed as Ash spits on the ground at your feet, starting to walk away when Coryo turns the gun faster than you can process and jabs the butt end of it into Ash's face. A chilling crack echoes out against the crumbling walls surrounding you and he hits the ground, unconscious with an obviously broken nose.

Coryo is panting as he turns back to you, quickly throwing the gun back over his shoulder. "Are you okay?" He asks, reaching out and holding your shoulders, hands running down your arms quickly to look over the injuries. "Did he do this to you?" He looks over the scattered cuts and scratches. He could tell they were healing, and they were inconsistent with what could be done with a blade or a man-made weapon, so he deducts quickly that you must have fallen into the wrong bush or something. Maybe when you were gardening.

You shake your head quickly, eyes locked on the boy on the ground.

"Hey, no, look at me. Are you okay?" Coryo asks again, grabbing your chin and forcing you to look at him. He nods expectantly, waiting for you to answer.

"Yes. Fine." You whisper shamefully, giving a slight nod under his gentle hold.

"C'mere..." He mutters, pulling you closer to hug him. He sighs, holding the back of your head and gently smoothing down your hair. It shocks him when you start to shake, trying to muffle your crying in the fabric of his uniform. He shouldn't have waited so long. He took his eyes off you for less than a minute to maintain his own sanity, and this is what happened.

You knew you were safe with Coryo, this was your fault for straying from that over some petty anger. He had betrayed you, sure, but he told you it was because he only wanted to help. If you had listened, none of this would have happened. You should have known he was right. At least he hadn't abandoned you, he'd even saved you. You were lucky he was even around.

"He hit me." You sniff through sobs, gripping tightly onto the back of his grey uniform. "I didn't, I don't know why, I-"

"Hey, hey, hey..." Coryo shushes you, pressing his lips to the top of your head. "I've got you. You're safe now. I'm here."

"I'm sorry..." You sniff, overtaken by the foolishness of your own decisions. For denying your feelings for him in a way that only resulted in hurting the both of you.

Coryo has to fight back a smile as he takes in the familiar scent of your hair. "Don't be." He whispers, kissing your head. "I'll always protect you."

You nod against his chest, locking yourself firmly into his grasp. Even as your blood dried and stuck to his coldly grey uniform, you found it hard to let him go.

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i've closed my taglist for coryo now!! sorry to everyone who wanted to be added, but unfortunately there was significantly more demand than i expected and i sadly just can't tag everyone. BUT! if you still want notifications when i post for this fic, please turn on my post notifs!!

[dear-ao3]

Ask for f1 drama

i shall continue my tales of regaling you all

this edition: las vegas

so as it currently stands (november 14, 2023) there are two races left in the 2023 f1 season. one is this weekend in las vegas and one is next weekend in abu dhabi. we already know who has won the drivers and contractors (team) championship (max verstappen and red bull) but theres still some loose ends in the form of second third fourth etc place that need some tying up.

and the standings for the lower places of the championship are all quite tight:

theres still a whole lot of action that can come there

which brings us to las vegas

vegas is a new race on the calendar, meaning no one has ever raced there on this track before (and likely no one will again based on how its going) and it is a street circuit, so they are literally racing on the las vegas strip.

now, prior to all the new stuff that came to light for this weekend, f1 royally managed to piss off las vegas by (probably) making tax payers (the people of vegas) pay for the strip to be repaved (several million dollars), wreaking absolute havoc on their town, shutting off the fountains, blocking things off, making traffic a nightmare and most terribly, saying that they would block off/put blackout on any stores or windows of stores or hotels who didnt want to pay a several thousand dollar fee to f1, basically making the race not viewable to anyone for free. (note that they have several other street circuit races in the calendar and they don't do this there). so it was already a nightmare.

now it gets more fun!

the race is in the middle of november in las vegas (which, for all intents and purposes, is a desert) and they decided for some unholy reason to make this a night race. i think it starts at 11 pm local time. and low and behold, the organizers just happened to forget (and they admitted that they did indeed forget) that it gets very cold at night in the desert. right now its projected to be 44-47 degrees f ( about 4/5 degrees c). f1 cars are fragile little machines that get grumpy in the wrong conditions and boy let me tell you, this is absolutely the wrong conditions. if it is indeed This Cold at the race, it will make it the coldest race in f1 history. last i heard people weren't entirely sure that the cars would work or that the tires would cooperate.

the track set up is woefully abysmally. to get the tires warm, the lads would need some good corners to zoom around to get the tires up to temperature where they can go vroom zoom fast, but, there are not too many corners. below is the track. as you can see, theres a lot of straights, and thus, not many good opportunities to get the tires nice and hot, further affecting car performance

the pit lane (you know where everyone usually goes at least once or twice to change their tires) is quite possibly in the worst spot it could be. it is on the tiny straight right before turn 1. when you go into the pitlane, the tires lose a good amount of heat (or all of it if you're going in to get fresh tires) and they need to warm the tires back up. problem is, they're going to be zooming out of the pitlane basically directly into turns 1 2 and 3, on cold rubber, in a cold race. but it gets better, because of the way the track is set up, this positioning of the pitlane, if the exits are not timed correctly, will cause collisions because the pitlane exit it basically right where the cars on the track need to go in order to get the most speed (its more technical than this and someone else can fully explain the pitlane disaster better, but this is it in very simple terms i think). the pitlane is around where that arrow is.

so not only will it be cold and the pitlane cause accidents and the cars won't work, they don't have names for any of the corners and straights. so right now the map of the track looks like this which is batshit hilarious

and to top it off!! no one has raced here! no one knows how the cars will perform!! its going to be a shit show! god save the poorest little meow meows!!

and unrelated but there is a chapel in the paddock at the race, just for some spice, called race to the alter

[iamthemaestro]

would you perhaps regale us with tales of your time at sea (i am so curious what reenactment is like when youre traveling on an actual historical ship)

Ah, I *wish* I could say about the reenactment part but unfortunately the Lady Washington does not do much in terms of historical interpretation anymore—they definitely used to but they've gone through a lot of major changes in the past few years and it seems that was one of them. Frankly that would have been the only thing that could have made me more excited to be there lol.

However I appreciate the chance to infodump though since my brain is still very much in Ship Mode with nothing to do with itself... not sure if I have many *tales,* per se, but I did tons of fun stuff and tried to push myself hard in terms of trying things that scared me. On my last day I went up to furl the fore t'gallant (topmost yard on the foremast) which was probably the most physically difficult thing I did during my whole stay—while the climb up the t'gallant shrouds was fairly scary it was honestly much harder to just remain upright against the yard because the footrope was so shallow. On the topyards it's quite comfortable because you can functionally "stand" upright and lean against the yard at about stomach level while you're working, but here if you tried to stand upright the yard wouldn't even come up to your hips so you have to put all this weight into your knees, sort of crouching in order to have it in a good position to lean upon. I'd like to say I got pretty decent at furling in general but man... that one was a doozy. If I had had more time to practice it maybe it would come easier, but as it was we only set the t'gallants twice while I was there anyway. I will say I was surprised at how non-panicked I felt while I was hanging out there on the shrouds waiting for a wake to pass, not clipped into anything, held there by my own strength probably 50ish feet in the air—initially one of the hardest psychological parts of going aloft was staving off the intrusive thoughts, being a person very prone to them, but by the end I was actually quite impressed with how calm I felt up there. It's the best seat in the house, after all, second only to that of the main t'gallant: at first it feels dizzingly, unfathomably high, and when you look down you have this gut instinct of fear—I don't think humans were ever meant to be this high up, frankly—but the wind is whipping past you and your crewmates are like ants on the deck below you and all around you the shore disappears into fog on the horizon, and you're here; you swallow your fear and think, despite everything, "isn't this wonderful?"

My last day was a good one; during our transit from Port Orchard to Everett, the Seattle Krackens sent a film team out and had us set every sail we physically could along with a bunch of Kracken flags for their promotional video this season—we even rigged the main royal just for fun, despite the fact that it was too late for it to be caught on camera. Though I doubt I will ever see it, hypothetically there's some awesome footage of me loosing the bunt from the fore topsail with that fantastic WHOOMF as all that canvas drops—it looks so graceful from afar but when you're up there handling all that canvas it feels powerful more than anything else, all held up by the singular little midshipman's knot you undid with one hand, clinging to the jackstay with the other and watching the sail fall from the sky below you.

That night we also had a "shanty night" which I am very glad I got to experience, given my background as a musician, and it was a great time. Unfortunately I had no way to travel with my mandolin so I was armed only with my tinwhistle, but some crew members seemed genuinely pretty impressed with my ability to pick up tunes, which, at the risk of sounding extremely pretentious (forgive me) I am accustomed to thinking of as a rather mundane thing, but it was nice to feel appreciated. One of my crewmates, very drunk at the time, told me very earnestly that my "improsov" was very good and a "skill I should cherish," and honestly I don't think I'll ever forget that—when I picked up with the verse to Spanish Ladies everyone else had forgotten he cheered obnoxiously for me and kept up a steady stream of enthusiastic interjections where he didn't know the words, and while I am not generally fond of being the center of attention, I was fond of him for that.

Over the course of the trip I was introduced to a great number of tunes I'd never heard—which is something I value deeply—most of which I probably won't remember the names of, but of those I do I am making a point to learn. I love this sort of exchange—folk music at its most authentic—especially in a place like this, late in the evening on what, by the end of my time, I had decided was the most beautiful ship in the world, where our singing and our laughter carried across the water and into the night and my heart, though saddened by the air of finality that pervaded it all, was full.

Excuse me for getting a little prosaic—it's hard to describe the feelings you experience sailing a vessel like this one, at least to me, and it's been a dream of mine for a while. I miss it already and have full intentions on returning in coming years, but for now thanks for the opportunity to talk about it lol!

[innerchorus]

So I've seen a few people here and there speculating that Estelle will turn out to be Tahamenay's daughter, and tbh I was never convinced by it but today I found myself wondering 'well, what if...'

I'm not saying that I actually think it's going to happen but after some consideration I can see why others have it as a theory? (Fair warning, there will be some novel spoilers in this post.)

If it's not resolved or it turns out the child was dead all along like in the novels it feels like either a loose end or a very unfair ending for Tahamenay. Yeah, she's not my favourite character and the way she treated Arslan is harsh even if you understand why, but I still feel compassion for what she's been through and feel like she deserves to reunite with her missing child.

If she is going to meet her child, it would feel jarring for that child to pop up as a completely new character, whereas the revelation that the missing daughter is actually someone we already know would hit the right note. (Having said that, I feel like we'd have been picking up on some groundwork that hinted at it by now if it were true.)

Yeah, there's no real evidence that it's Estelle (sure, she must be about the right age, but there's no hint that she's not actually Lusitanian, and no evidence of the bracelet that the three candidate girls were given in novel canon) and maybe the main thing making people think this is that in the anime Estelle was said to be adopted whereas in the novels/manga she's the only child of a knight, but I do kind of like the thought that after seeing Arslan come to terms with the truth of his origins, she's faced with a shock of her own (and the woman who turned out not to be Arslan's mother is in fact her own).

In the absence of a tell-tale bracelet, how would we know that Estelle is the child of Tahamenay and Andragoras? Well, she could be able to draw Rukhnabad, and I think that would be a really fun moment! We've seen Hilmes draw the blade due to his royal blood, and we've seen Arslan unable to draw it due to his lack of it, which sets us up to understand what Estelle being able to draw the sword would mean. I can't deny it'd be a nice reveal!

Estelle's importance to Arslan and his to her is very clear. That's true regardless of whether anything romantic develops between them, but I keep thinking about the fact that in the novels, Narsus had the idea of marriage between Arslan and Tahamenay's daughter (if they can figure out who it is) as a way to join the old dynasty with the new. I imagine he (and Lushan, lol) would be all for this union if Estelle turned out to be the daughter of Tahamenay and Andragoras.

Would Estelle remain in Pars even if this were true, though? I'm really not sure. As such, I don't think it'd work as a plot point. And like I said, I don't actually subscribe to this theory myself, I just felt like taking a look at it in more detail.

[animehouse-moe]

Spy x Family Volume 11 Ultra Collector

Well, I'm going to be a little late with Spy x Family and the start of Apothecary Diaries today because my afternoon is very busy, so let me show off this really cool Spy Fam special edition from French publisher Kurokawa.

Yeah, there's a hell of a lot in here, and a lot to chat about. Let me start with the box first. Truthfully, I'm sort of let down by it. It's less robust than the volume 8 special edition's box that is a bottom and a lid. Volume 11's using a thinner/lighter box overall and opens via flaps on the side instead of lifting up the top.

What I do like about this box though is how it sticks close in style to volume 8's. Where 8 was a suitcase, volume 11 is all about a TV, which has a pretty fun gimmick. That illustration of Anya, Loid, and Yor? You can actually swap it out with 3 others to "change the channel" on the TV. It's a fun way to spice up the exterior, but I have just one complaint: it's rather finnicky. The card that the illustrations are on is just sorta "in" the box, so it slides and moves around and whatnot. I would have really appreciated a little pocket or sleeve on the inside that the card slid into, but also, this is just the package that the good stuff comes in.

So speaking of good stuff, the tote bag. It's very fun, and surprisingly good quality. The bag also features the illustration of the Forger family on both sides of the bag. I wouldn't say it's the biggest ever, but you could comfortably use it for light to medium shopping in terms of manga. Can't fit 10+ volumes in here easily, but I think anything less than that is plenty fine.

Alright, next up is the books. Now, this is the special edition for volume 11, but there's another volume in here? Well that's because they include the Spy x Family light novel 'Family Portrait' with it. Very cool to see, but I do sort of wish we could have had a special cover for it as well. Though I mean, beggars can't be choosers we got one for Volume 11. Also, I really appreciate that French pubs either make the dust jackets reversible, or keep the original dust jacket alongside the special one. For display purposes it's very handy.

Both the coolest but most frustrating piece in this special edition is the bookend. I think it's a super cool thing to add, especially since it's metal, but that's also where the problem comes in. You need to bend the bookend to make it a bookend. With it being metal, there's not really any going back if you wanted to just display it as a metal card. Not something I like, so it'll be living as metal card forever. Though it's not like I have any alternatives for how they could avoid this issue, so it's a bit hard to voice it as a valid complaint.

And now into the illustration cards. I love getting stuff like this because it gives you so much freedom. They're loose and individual, not double sided, and of decent size (the same size as the manga). Some might disagree, but I think it's fun that they're pre-existing artworks (two of the landscape cards are featured as a poster in the LN). Mostly because you get to 'have' the art from various places as their own separate thing. Really liked one of the color pages or illustrations for Spy x Family, but Viz doesn't do color pages for the manga? Well, now you get them here and separate from the manga. Just a nice touch.

Speaking of nice touches, the bookmarks. They're just from the various covers of the manga, but I think as a sentiment they're a very nice addition (especially because I don't have any bookmarks at all). Just something very simple and easy to add to flesh out the goodies you can get from the special edition.

So there it is, the super cool 'ultra collector' edition of Spy x Family. This is a really interesting addition to my collection and I think a lot of the pieces to this are very unique in terms of what you'll see with special editions. Word of warning though, it's not a cheap special edition. Considering how much comes with it, I'd still say it's worth it for those that enjoy it, but it's not something that a lot of people will "just pick up".

[basket-of-cats-and-witches]

OC Ramblings: Kitty Hale (or Kit)

Unsurprising that this is happening considering how hard the Love and Deepspace brainrot has hit.

I'll tuck it under a read more (so I don't clog up everyone's dash...) but I've been having some general thoughts about her.

For those in the L&Ds fandom, Kit is my non-MC who's romancing Sylus. Clearly I write a lot about them, but he's her boss, and she's his assassin second in command. I actually didn't know this was a common trope until after I created her.

Oh, well. I love her too much to care, tbh. We can't all be unique, but putting your own spin on a classic can freshen it up a lot.

So now, to the Read More, and the ramblings. If you enjoyed this, please leave a like. It brightens my day when I see people enjoying my content.

Kit's general stats

Height: 5'11/180cm

Name: Camilla Kitty Hale (she goes by Kit)

Age: 26

Hair: Black, loose curls

Eyes: dark purple/brown (not heterochromia, just the particular shade I chose looks almost brown)

Birthday/sign: January 1st/Capricorn

I really enjoy Kit as an OC, and as a companion to Sylus. There's something about the ✨yearning✨ that's tasty, of course, with the canon story for Sylus and all our other LIs, but I opted for extreme slow burn and like recognizes like.

Kit's...a lot. She's been refined again and again so that she's not just my trauma dump character. There's always one, and you just gotta sort of shape them into their own thing.

She's fierce, loyal to a fault, and deeply vulnerable. I think that she's viewed herself as a tool for so long that it's created a sense of naivete, which is something Sylus clocks immediately.

When you're in survival mode for that long, most things get tossed to the wayside, and that includes relationships and intimacy.

This doesn't just mean romance, although it is a big part of it especially for Kit, but it does create some good tension and back and forth between her and Sylus. She's extremely skilled on the battlefield, well enough to keep pace with him (which is honestly a feat in itself), but when it comes to flirting, courtship, and what's in the bedroom, Sylus leads their strange push and pull.

I don't have the patience to write a true slowburn (especially bc a two year slowburn would be like 50k and I...hngh. I can't brainrot myself like that. I wouldn't get any work done. I'm already writing fic like crazy). But! It would be genuinely interesting to see it.

Sylus is a very direct character. He seeks consent from those he cares about, is blunt to a fault, and exceptionally intuitive. Whereas Kit knows her way around a battlefield, but has a tendency to bottle up and not talk about what's bothering her unless pushed. Probably because her backstory features her getting punished for expressing her personal thoughts.

There's a fun scene that I don't actually remember if I posted here where Sylus and Kit actually talk about it and her trauma a little bit.

-

“Is it okay for us to do these things?” She mumbled. Her hands dropped over his, smoothing over the ridges of his knuckles and finding the calluses of his fingers. “I just have a hard time feeling as if it's not some sort of…weakness. People like us aren't nice, do we deserve nice things? Do…I deserve things? What happens if I let myself relax and be…”

Kit hesitated for a second, before pushing on. “What happens if I want to be cute and girly, and someone uses that against me? Sometimes I feel like I'm only allowed to be the…” she trailed off, sighing.

Sylus smiled wryly. “The monster?” He supplied, his tone quietly bitter. “I've had a bit more room to come to terms with it, Kitty, so listen.” He spun her around, his hands settling on her shoulders. His eyes were dark, hollow and sad in a way that reminded Kit why they matched so well. “You're human, Kit. Specifics aside, you are, in fact, human. No matter what anyone says, you have a heart that feels deeply, that bleeds and beats like anyone else's. And it's because you have a heart that you deserve the same things as anyone else.

You're not a weapon, baby.” His soft voice made her lips tremble, her stomach twisting with the heavy weight of her emotions.

“Unfair of you to use that nickname now,” she whispered hoarsely.

Sylus smiled, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “We're not monsters,” he said. It seemed to be as much to himself as it was to her. “And if anyone tries to use your joy against you, you have me, the twins, and even Mephisto.”

She laughed wetly, her eyes shiny with unshed tears.

-

I've always loved the idea of two people teaching each other to move past their traumas. Honestly, in my personal opinion, part of growth and recovery from trauma is teaching someone else. My therapist talks about "parenting oneself" a lot, about being the parent to yourself that you may not have had in a way to sort of...help guide your brain towards healthier habits. And I apply that here as well. Mentoring someone who's not as far along as you but has similar trauma can help you, as well (be careful with that and consult professionals, I'm just a writer with my own baggage).

In teaching Kit to love and be loved, to be human again, it feels like Sylus is teaching himself as well. Not to mention that she often calls him out on his bad habits and keeps him in check. It's a push and pull, they're on relatively equal standing. I think that's why it's so easy to write them as a relationship, and why they mesh so fast even as a new thing. There's established rapport and even, dare I say, friendship that builds a very solid foundation for romance. There's good communication between them even when they're being stubborn, and the two never really have many misunderstandings.

-

“You-!” She bites out. “You've been grumpy and short with me since I got here!” Kit shoves the towel back at him, furiously wiping him down even as she snarls.

“I have been trying to follow your orders all day. ‘Kit, teach this kid’ ‘Kit, pour water on me’ I'm doing my best, Sylus! I want to be good for you! I want to follow your orders! I came out to the middle of the desert, no questions asked, on a dime, because you told me to! Cut me some slack and put those gentling gloves on, because I know you can! Now, lean down so I can dry your hair!”

Kit glares at him, and she instantly knows she's well and truly fucked. Sylus's eyes are a bright, burning red, the right one beginning to glow in a way that is as annoyingly arousing as it is terrifying.

And yet, he leans down quietly, bowing his head for her.

Without a word, she sweeps the towel over the wet strands. Her hands tremble. Despite her harsh words, despite losing her temper, she is, as ever, gentle with him. As if she were handling fragile and delicate glass.

Larger hands cover her own, and she can't help but flinch.

“Are you scared of me?” Sylus’s voice is ever-so-soft, almost tentative. There's a strangely raw edge to it, as if he anticipates the worst possible answer.

“No,” she whispers. “The ones I flinch from are ghosts, not you. Are you mad at me?”

As if he can hear her silent permission, Sylus steps forward, crowding her against the wall. His head drops to her shoulder. For a moment, all she can hear is the steady sound of his breathing.

It takes a moment, the heat of his body seeping into hers, Kit’s thin undergown the only physical barrier between them. Then, he speaks. “It’s…complicated. I'm not mad at you. You're not the only one with ghosts, Kit.”

(from my Lost Oasis piece)

-

Sylus made himself snap back to attention.

“Talk,” he said forcefully, his eye glinting. “I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong.”

Kit wilted further.

“...riod,” she mumbled.

Sylus tapped her forehead reprimandingly. “Louder.”

“I'm on my period!” She whined, her cheeks flushed bright red. “So please, kindly, can you fuck off? I hurt so much and I took medication and it's not helping!”

His eye twitched, and his hands settled on her hips, flexing in irritation. “I understand that you're hurting,” he said firmly. “You still don't have the right to talk to me that way.

I'm well aware you only snap at me like this when you need something but you feel embarrassed, so just tell me. Or I will leave you, and you won't be happy with me when you're done with your cycle.”

Sylus's tone was icy and flat, in a way it hadn't been in a long time.

Kit deflated. She looked down at her lap, the tip of her nose turning pink as she fiddled with her fingers.

“Sorry,” she whispered, swallowing hard. “You're right. I'm being unnecessarily cruel. That's not okay or fair to you.”

He leaned forward, kissing her forehead. “Thank you for apologizing. Now, tell me what you need.”

(from an unreleased fic that I probably won't post bc it's VERY nsfw)

-

Anyway, I genuinely love this pairing because, ironically, it's a very healthy relationship. They communicate, they hold each other responsible, and they help each other out. Despite the fact that they're both very much criminals, lmao.

Kit comes from a place with a lot of trauma, she was born in the Vagrant's Quarter, and she's very much another person who was once a kid desperate to survive despite the odds. Just because she has a healthy relationship with her adopted father and foster sister doesn't mean she's not constantly in the thick of it, and due to lots of backstory reasons, she can't stay away from the N109 zone and the career she was forced to have (not by Sylus).

There's something about abuse and "going back to what you know because it's easier than fighting against it and going it alone", and that's very prevalent in Kit's life.

If I were to do guesswork, I think that Sylus may have been the same when he was younger and more vulnerable. Even the terrifying leader of Onychinus was a child, once.

This is such a solid pairing to me, no wonder I have brainrot about them both.

If you've made it to the end of this rambling, thank you!! I hope you enjoyed all the little snippets and heavy topics. You're wonderful!

[destinygoldenstar]

☀️Tom Is The Impostor Among Us☀️ - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 1 Episode 3 “Mazed And Confused”

Sorry for the wait. I have wanted to get this out sooner. But I had work, + I caught a cold. It’s not fun. Still doing this though.

Let’s Jump Right In:

"Now go find Ellie"

And right off the bat, we get this person again.

Who are you?! Why do you appear so randomly?!

I don't think you have to watch for Grett controlling you Gabby, I think you have to watch for your twin here.

"I'm not in the best position, but at least I didn't get votes."

That's one way to look at it.

"I have an immunity totem, if you ever feel in danger, give me a signal in the challenge and I'll secretly pass it on to you."

No Gabby you can't just do that!

Grett's gonna boot you!

"Would you really do that for me? Why?"

"Well, you were the only person that was nice to me on that team."

Yeah she was. Ellie's cool.

Make it to the merge so you can be besties!

"It's a shame we couldn't agree on yesterday's elimination."

YEAH. THAT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT.

"Ladies, we did what we had to do! That punk had a few screws loose."

Nick...

Okay, in terms of my take for best girls: Grett, obviously, stan the bad bitch. Gabby's also warming up to me and I like her story of her being outcasted for her personality.

Best boys though is kinda up in the air. I'm leaning towards Nick and... I guess Jake. But DAMN did you frustrate me Nick!

But I'll forgive stupidity for one episode. It was a 'stupid for the sake of the plot' situation.

"The can't happen again. The alliance must stay strong and united."

Okay are they gonna work together now?

"Yesterday before the elimination, the alliance was talking and we couldn't come to a decision."

Oh so you DID talk. And you STILL didn't work together to protect your teammate!

SURE.

"For some bloody reason, Lill was defending Will and Ashley preferred to throw her vote on Alec. I obviously went Will. As much as I hate to admit it, Lill is being a bit annoying..."

Nick, you better take that back.

I mean, I get it, maybe he doesn't know how these sorts of things work with his homelife and all that, but he's gotta learn.

"I went fishing!"

"But Jake and Tom went fishing, they took all the fishing gear."

She fished with her mouth like a bear.

And I said this last time, there's other ways to fish besides rods. Buckets. Nets. You can make cages.

THOSE FISH DON'T LOOK SAFE TO EAT

Tom's like "That's funny, all my teammates suddenly died of poison. Oh well, guess I'm in the merge!"

I mean he's a sus ninja hiding shit, he could be a serial killer.

"We have to eat them before the challenge."

*Gets an Inside Out 2 Trailer Ad*

I don't like that context!! I'm gonna be honest!!

OH GOOD GOD WHY IS THE SKIN STILL ON IT AND NOT IN THE POT?!?!

Guys, I don't think you should eat Grandma's cooking if you value your lives.

Honestly, I forgot Miriam was here XD

"I wanted to ask you if you're okay. You've been kind of upset since we got here and-"

"Whatever happened to minding your own business?!"

Okay chill! He was trying to be nice to you!

Come on, he's been a very sweet guy so far and is giving you all a chance. What's there to snap about?

We'll see how well that statement ages. (Thanks for making me paranoid Caleb)

Plot twist: Jake and Tom are both secretly evil. Tom is a serial killer. Jake was a prominent bully back in high school.

"If it weren't for my retirement money, I wouldn't be here."

I'm not an elder. How ass is retirement funds?

"Do you think writing on your hand is a good substitute for a notebook?"

"I know Gabby said she was cool with me using my notebook, but I kinda lied to her so she wouldn't kill me, so I want to take that extra precaution. You know?"

"Today we will test your ability to face your worst fears!"

Oh it's Phobia Factor from Total Drama.

That was actually one of my favorite challenges from that show's season. This should be a fun episode.

And if you want to know what my phobia would be, it would be either walking around dead plants or riding a roller coaster. I HATE roller coasters.

"We've been doing a bit of research on each of you and I have to say we've found some interesting stuff."

So you doxxed.

Yes, what else would you like to confess to the police?

"And since we're here doxing, Grett has a body count, Gabby has a split personality, Tom wears makeup underneath his mask and he wears the mask to not be bullied about it... shall I continue?"

Course they use Queen Grett as the example... but she looks naked with the image cropped like that and I DON'T want that in my head!

(I know this is technically adult animation. I don't care. If I want porn I'll ask for it. And I'm not asking for it.)

Grett's scared of the dark! I knew it!

Queen may slay, but at the end of the day, she's got embarrassing stuff like this. We stan it.

And they use Dan as a bad example. Also slay.

I'm realizing I'm so MEAN to Dan. I'm always bullying him in these posts. And I have, literally, NO reason for it. Man didn't do shit!

And I am pissing off all Dan stans that see these posts.

"The first team to reach the other side gets immunity and a reward!"

We're not gonna hear what the reward is this time?

Oh we do see it. Okay.

"Waterproof Tent" I SURE HOPE IT DOESN'T RAIN NEXT EPISODE!!

Next Episode:

"I'm sure these scares are harmless"

"For your first challenge, you must watch EVERY Five Nights At Freddy's Installment!"

The subtitle XD

"Fear of Sharks; You must swim in a pond with a shark for five minutes!"

I would not do that. I ain't losing a limb!

*Ellie clicks the check*

*Spawns an ad on USAA*

OH NO! THEY LIED!!!

Ellie's real fear is her finances XD

"Fear of Cemeteries; You must go alone and spend ten minutes in the Tipiskaw cemetery!"

That's not too bad. I could do that.

The subtitle just says "What" during his dialogue, I'm dead XD

"Tipiskaw Cemetery? Thought this was the wilderness."

It's for the fish you killed. And whatever other wildlife you killed.

"Maybe it's a pet graveyard."

Gabby just said my thoughts. This is how many times now?!

Stop being so relatable, Gabby! It's scary!

You backed out?!

BOO. VOTE HIM OFF.

Okay THAT is far more terrifying! Come on!

"Don't look at him. Just close your eyes."

"It'll make your death far more peaceful, sweetie! I promise ya!"

"Sharks are harmless."

Alright I love ya again Nick.

There actually are some harmless sharks.

Just be thankful Chris McLean isn't hosting this.

"I feel bad for letting the team down..."

"I wish I could do it, but, it's just... hits too close to home."

OH... HONEY.

"I lost my grandfather when I was a kid and I always went with my mom to visit him and leave flowers. That place caused me a lot of anxiety. Now my grandmother's sick and I know it's only a matter of time before... you know..."

My gosh...

Alright. This guy is my best boy for this show.

He got me way too invested in his story.

"Fear of going bald; There is someone inside waiting to cut all your hair"

OH HI HEATHER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

That HAS to be a Total Drama Reference!

"Why? Hair grows back."

Fiore spitting facts XD

"Fear of being alone?"

Why does he sound confused with that? That's basic introverted life!

I could totally do that!

The subtitles again XD

"I thought I'd never have to see the inside of one of these again..."

GABBY. IS THERE SOMETHING TRAUMA BASED YOU WANT TO SHARE TO THE CLASS???

Cause that's concerning!

She's doing it. She came to SLAY.

Grett taught her well.

Hey Queens, you dropped this 👑

"All my life, I've worked with girls Fiore's age and I feel that something's not right with her..."

Lilly. I owe you one.

Props to Lilly to be the one smart one in this alliance.

"She looks like a little baby piglet."

THOSE ARE THE DEVIL'S EYES

Oh hey, she's not alone! She has... Blabby.

That's terrible.

"How dare they do this to you again?"

Yeah, Gabby is definitely traumatized.

"Yay! I made it!"

She's served her time in prison.

"Fear of confronting your past; YOU. MUST. BAKE. A. CHEESECAKE."

OOOOHHHH NOOOOOOOO THE HORROOOOORRR!!!!

I was always terrified of setting the kitchen on fire!

"What's so painful about cheesecake?"

Colesterol.

"What the hell was that?"

*Gets a Grammarly Ad*

The ads I'm getting today are cracking me up XD

MONTAGE

SLAY GRETT. YOU DO IT!

*Nick's fear*

... I think I'm gonna get flagged for this one. So I'm not showing it.

Drew's is the most terrifying.

Fiore's phobic of moose?

Okay, no, Dan's dead.

Lilly is also dead.

"Fear of fires; You must wear a thermal suit and enter a small cabin that we have behind the door. Which will burn in flames for fifteen minutes."

At least she gets a suit, so it could be worse.

"We couldn't find much information on you"

He is SUS as I will get out!

"You must take off your mask!"

OVER A MASK?!

BOO. VOTE HIM OFF.

Goddammit Tom.

"I just can't reveal to everyone that I may or may not like wearing makeup, okay?! It's personal! You don't know what I've been through!"

This is a joke btw. I don't think it's actually that. It might just be some facial scar under there, or he has to hide it for his job.

"I haven't always been afraid of fires. Two years ago, a heat wave caused one near my family's farm. We lost part of the house, the animals, and the crops. We haven't been able to fully recover after that."

HONEY. OMG.

We ANOTHER character motive that's very sympathetic! LET'S GO WITH THE TRAUMA!!

Not Fiore ACTUALLY being scared for Ashley!

Also Alec looks bored with every situation.

"It's suspicious. Don't you think?"

SUS.

TOM IS THE IMPOSTOR AMONG US.

YES ASHLEY FOR THE WIN!!!!

Tom can't be going. He has too much story for them to boot him now. Right?

RIGHT?

"Numbers are key in this game and I'd rather be with him than against him."

Oh thank god, this team DOES have a brain. Unlike the Purple Team last episode.

"I'd rather vote for Grett."

"How about Gabby? Sometimes her attitude is somewhat erratic."

DON'T. YOU. DARE.

Grett has a brain. She knows what's going on.

"Maybe I could convince one of the guys to vote with us."

We love a smart queen.

TOM IS SUS

WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?!

He just threw the walkie talkie XD

"You caught me ordering KFC!"

"Someone here has been watching you."

"Two people actually. The first is me because I'm currently stalking you. The second is that fruity boy."

"Drew."

"Drew the third. He's fruity for you, AND he's stalking you."

OH THE NOTEBOOK.

I was thinking that would be leading to something!

"The boy doesn't trust you very much. You can read it yourself."

"I saw Tom vent in medbay. Vote him out."

"Guys it's Drew. Drew is the Impostor."

I can't show the images of the votes this time because of Tumblr image max.

We already know who's going, right? This is not a shocking elimination at all.

"The boys alliance will get me further in the game."

Dan really just said "I don't work with women."

NOW I have a reason to bully him.

"I may have messed with Drew's notes just a little."

What did you do exactly?

Also her handwriting's pretty.

This isn't a shocking elimination. We already know who's going.

'GABBY'

Yeah, yeah, we know.

'DREW'

It's gonna be 3 Gabby. 3 Drew.

'GABBY'

'DREW'

'GABBY'

'DREW'

And this is the part where Tom flips.

Yep. Bye bye.

He was fine. I just kept forgetting he was there.

Thought Dan was gonna be more mad about that. "ALRIGHT WHO'S THE FLIPPER?!?! SOMEONE HAS TO EXPLAIN THEMSELVES!!"

"Drew was ejected"

Alright, that's the episode.

That was a good one. I'm actually enjoying this show quite a bit so far. A lot of people said I wouldn't like this show at all. So I am, so far, pleasantly surprised.

I think it's gonna be a bit before we get to eliminations of characters I actually really like.

I'm a bit more interested in Miriam now. I'm curious what her trauma with cheesecake is in particular. But I feel like it might be something worse than that.

My best girls are Grett and Gabby. Again, I don't stan characters as in "They did nothing wrong" I just plain like them as characters. I KNOW Grett is someone to not be liked. I'm NOT routing for her to win. I just think she serves her role with dignity and she's playing the game really well. I also want to learn more about her.

Gabby is really growing on me, and I'm interested in her isolated background and why she acts so erratically. She's also a really good balance between sympathetic and borderline annoying with her behavior.

The boys are kinda more iffy with me. Dan is Dan. Alec is... boring, as of right now. I like Tom, and I know he has story going on with him, but it's also kind of obvious what the twist with him is just from his design alone. That the point out multiple times.

So I guess my best boys are Nick and Jake as of right now. Jake especially, I'm actually really liking the story with him. I like how he's empathetic towards the elders because of his close relationships with his own grandparents who understood him (whatever that means), and how the death of one and critical state of another had an affect on him. I do think he and Ashley have the most sympathetic motives for being here, with Ashley helping her farm and Jake helping his grandma. He's also really sweet and caring so far, especially with Miriam this episode.

Nick, again, I like his story of him wanting to prove himself to his parents but being delusional on how to handle this circumstance he's in. He IS kind of fading to the background though, so hopefully that is fixed and he gets the character development set up for him.

Can't wait for you all to laugh maniacally at me hearing that cause you know of any derailment that happens later this season! Can't wait!

If you guys want me to continue these reactions, be sure to let me know.

[the-everqueen]

A & J for Corimatt and M for Lucienne? 👀👀👀👀

Matthew/Corinthian Aftercare (what they're like after sex) i always headcanon the Corinthian as sated after sex. it's like a course in a big meal: something fun and delicious and after there's built-in space to savor everything before he moves on to the next thing. i don't imagine he's necessarily particularly cuddly but he's loose and relaxed. he's a tactile creature, in all universes: he'll go through the motions of petting or holding the other person if they want, while his ever-present hunger gets its teeth wet again. wereverse Cori will act as big spoon for Matt until he (literally) gets hungry and eventually gets up to rummage for snacks, but they'll also share a post-sex joint or move to the couch to watch some terrible game show. we haven't gotten there yet in gay coworkers, but i do think the second Corinthian gets more restless after sex - even just masturbation, he's gotta move, gotta work out the semi-familiar *itch* that gets in him, the sense that he should be on the run, maybe, or the desire for something more visceral, he's not sure, and he doesn't want to find out. he gets a few good minutes where everything is quiet, though. like maybe it's enough.

Matthew is definitely cuddly. as a raven, he's constantly perching or pecking at things; he's SUPER tactile and has the lingering human impulse to reach out to give physical comfort in whatever ways he can. he and the Corinthian are VERY compatible in this way: the Corinthian isn't gonna use his fucking words to talk about feelings, but physical touch does some of that communication work for both of them. i also headcanon that uh, since Matthew was SUCH a disaster as a human, his raven self is in some ways a coming to term with his own failures to communicate with the people he loved. in all aus, Matthew is gonna look for that physical contact post-sex.

(i also think Matthew's more than a little prone to see physical intimacy as related to or adjacent to emotional intimacy. cf. next installment of gay coworkers: Matthew doesn’t realize he’s panicking until he’s nestled in the crook of an elbow, a hand cupped gently over his eyes, the sudden darkness automatically slowing his rapid pulse. For a second he thinks Luce grabbed him, and then he breathes in the scent of ozone and copper and sandalwood.

“Stop being nice,” he mutters, when he can get words out again. “You’re not supposed to be nice.”

“Not supposed to be a lot of things,” the Corinthian says. “But there’s room for interpretation in the job description.”

I missed you, Matthew wants to say. It wouldn’t mean anything to the Corinthian. Maybe it wouldn’t have meant anything to the one who remembered, either.)

Jack Off (masturbation headcanon) this led me down a rabbit hole of parrot forums where i discovered that birds can indeed masturbate and pet birds sometimes have preferred toys for getting off. not that the Dreaming functions on reality anyways, but i don't think Matthew has uh. tested out that possible function of his still fairly new raven body yet. wereverse Matt, who is a human with opposable thumbs, has a much more straightforward relationship to masturbation. sometimes he works himself up thinking about Cori's fangs and imagining how it'd feel for Cori to nip at his throat. (he's aware he's more than a bit of a furry, it's fine.) jerking off is for imagining the fun stuff he knows is inadvisable in reality.

meanwhile it depends for the Corinthian. wereverse Cori, hell yeah, with the exception of a brief hiatus when he's initially changing his species and then when he's doing time in a human rights violation factory. canon Corinthian...eh? i think the first Corinthian would rather pursue that particular hunger with another person, though he'll put on a show for someone and there's a kind of hedonism in appreciating the body Dream gave him, especially when Dream is trapped in the fishbowl, like look who REALLY benefits from this. the second Corinthian...it's complicated. i think his entire relationship to pleasure is inherently skewed by his whole [waves hand] deal with his predecessor and his desire to not be [another] disappointment. gay coworkers Corinthian is funneling a lot of that energy into other projects (like knitting), which is...not a long-term solution, really, but he's also incredibly depressed.

Lucienne Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) Lucienne is who i imagine as the PINNACLE of person who gets all hot and bothered during a really good conference presentation. i once witnessed someone in my general field give a presentation and during the q&a someone said "there's this one photo, i don't remember the year or the concert but--" and they proceeded to describe the photo they meant and the presenter said, "oh yeah," and named the concert location, date, and the fucking band configuration for that particular year. it was so. hot. Lucienne is canonically a fucking nerd and more people need to appreciate that she could get wet over a particularly detailed footnote! which i think in turn is related to competence kink. it's sexy when someone is incredibly good at their job--especially when it's something they're also passionate about??

[not to be all about my own id, but like. where is the fic where Lucienne witnesses Dream build the Corinthian and then they have sex about him completing his masterpiece? it's gotta be hot to see your god make a whole sentient person. threesome WHEN!]

i do also headcanon Lucienne as a deep romantic. this is a combo of riffing on the gf's headcanons, Viv's acting choices, and the dreaming comix Lucien who is extremely dramatic and romantic with a whole subplot involving a dead paramour who haunts him via the face of the person who becomes the new Corinthian. [again. threesome WHEN.] we cherry pick heavily for what we like from the dreaming comix given how incoherent they were, but that detail continues to be fun. which is all to say i think Lucienne could get SO hot under the collar over romantic gestures, big or small. it's about the intention. it's about narrative build. she's an archivist! a keeper of stories! she's operating on story logic almost as much as Dream!

[red1ight]

i am home early from work today yay so i can share my thoughts re:the dc comeback

well. it's very different for them but very much the same in terms of the kpop gg landscape rn... so that's boring to me. especially the english lyrics of 'i'm flawless i'm gorgeous my black dress' are so tired, a bit eye-roll. as is the heavy use of english lyrics itself. like i know they're trying to appeal to foreign fans (esp usamerican fans since they're looking to release an english album soon) but.. why? anyway i digress that's a different conversation.. as for the structure of the song itself, it's predictable, the rhythmic speaking over the electronic synths is also very overplayed, i don't care for that.

that all being said,, i don't think the song is overall Bad like i think it's kinda fun once i get past the standards and expectations i have of their music LOL. but im frustrated because if they really wanted to go this route musically, and conform to the current trends, they could still do so much to insert their own color, which i feel like normally is their strong suit. I can appreciate that they still opted for an acoustic drum beat and electric guitar in certain places, but aside from that.. they could have at least done more to spice it up. like for the chorus, they could have messed around with the progressions and leaned more into some interesting minor chords. i wish i knew music terminology to better articulate this idea LMAO anyway

I think yoohyeon in particular has some nice parts, the prechorus is enjoyable, but for a group with such overall strong vocals, there just wasn't much at all to this song. jiu and sua were particularly underutilized vocally which is a real shame.

as for choreo - i find it boring for the same reasons, it's just like everything else you can expect from an 'i'm bad' 'girl-crush' song (do ppl still use that term? can we retire it? have we already? idk). the tiktokification of kpop choreo is disappointing, especially from them since we know what they're capable of.

i think the concept is just a bit disappointing coming from them? it just doesn't seem to fit the image they've created or fanbase they've built.. i mean i know having a somewhat 'alt' (using that term really loosely here) image in the industry will not profitable forever but.. idk maybe it would? is it better to just do the same thing as every other group rn? isn't that why so many groups fell off around 2015-ish? because there was an oversaturation of the same concepts?? idk. also im getting kind of tired of the album 'concept' never having anything to do with the title track honestly it's become a real pet peeve for me like what does this have to do with villains or the cool spooky teasers they had in the very beginning of i think last (?) month? where's the intention where's the thought where's the care where's the artistry !! i've been thinking this for a while, but everything just feels rushed and barely thought-out.

all to say that it's nothing special, it could be fun to listen to if im in the right mood and ignore the english lyrics, but disappointing (sorry realizing im using that word a lot lol) only because i have such high standards for them. so it'll most likely end up being a skip for me. oh well. i'll check out the b sides of course though

[httyddragonfox]

Unknown's regard towards the MC

Unknown/Ray/Saeran is interesting in regards to how he feels about and he treats as well as his intentions towards the MC of Mystic Messenger. He's the antagonist, and a creepy one at that, but he's also a "bad but sad boy." I can't help help but dissect how he's written as the antagonist of a visual novel/otome game. Just as a note, this is a long one.

Let's start from the beginning and work our way through.

Our first possible interaction with him: the prologue bad end. You refuse to co-operate and lie saying their is no way to enter the apartment (As players you might have just been trying to escape the obvious sketchy situation, but there is a reason the rest of the cast wants to protect her, it's because she's so innocent.) If you back out at just the right moment, he laughs at your joke but then warns you if it went on longer he would have snapped. Of course if you don't, he reveals he can see you're lying, which blows his cover as to the fact he's been watching you. Why did Unknown choose you for plan? Who knows? He just needed some random innocent person, which would push V to hold a party and cause enough confusion to hack in. Was he specifically aiming for a girl? Maybe, seeing as most of the group is made of dudes, Rika was the same gender, probably a good replacement as coordinator. Anyways, he probably doesn't think much of you. Once you fail, he just opts to find someone else. He would get rid of you, except for the fact that you're cute. This shows he at least finds you attractive. He decides he'll let you live as his assistant, something he wants ever since he heard his brother had one. If you wish to leave, he'll tell you he can't allow that because you know about him, he can't let you be a loose cannon. If you do agree to go with him, he's ecstatic, thinking you're like him. He promises to treat you well and be very nice to you. It's still a bad ending because you don't have a choice but to go with him. Also the ending didn't mention this, but if you're going to Magenta you're going to be drugged!

So he finds you attractive enough that he wishes to keep you, and hopes you'll be just like him...Mr. Trauma-boy Crazy-pants. I get the sense from this he's lonely and wants a companion who will see his side of things.

Throughout the game, he tends to go after you first out of everybody. The exceptions here are the bad endings for Regular route and Deep Route where he goes after Yoosung after he loses touch with reality (He's easy prey), or he captures V when thinks he's spying around.

The message he leaves you after you're dropped off is: "Don't worry, things will be really fun from now on. I'll come and get you soon."

You've already helped him commence his plans, so you seem to be a useful ally/tool. You also innocently decided to help a complete stranger, which makes you more cute. He seems more attached to you, but not completely, as I'll explain further down.

In the first bad relationship endings for the regular routes, he doesn't display much in the terms of attraction. In Jaehee's he just says he's going to take everyone early because she's not doing anything, and in Zen's he decides to get someone else to do her role while she's taken to Magenta to be re-educated ("You'll learn that we're the only ones who love you.") To early to decide anything. She's attractive sure, and nice, but she's a slacker. What she needs is a good fine-tuning.

Things don't pick up until Yoosung's second bad ending. Instead of forgiving V and understanding him, we are suspicious of V, and drive a further wedge between him and Yoosung. So much so, Yoosung wants to run away with us, more specifically leave the group. Unknown can't have that, that party needs to be held, we certainly can't leave. So he tricks us into thinking we were right and V can't be trusted, and he's just an innocent guy wrapped up in the turmoil. He offers Yoosung something he can't refuse, information on Rika, to get us into his car. That's when we start to feel suspicion and he knocks out Yoosung to make him his hostage and talk to us alone. He tells us he's only unconscious and he's his precious hostage. Hostage for who? Hostage for us, that's who. I assume he was in the front seat or else how could he knock him out. So Yoosung is unconscious in the front seat and we're unable to get him out of there. If we were to try anything, well he's right next to the guy. So Unknown takes off his mask to talk to us, probably feeling more personable. He tells us it was fun pretending to be scared, but not as fun as pretending to be the student...queuing us in that he was the guy who led us to the apartment. He's almost nostalgic as he remembers how we did everything he said then, but now we've gone and ruined his plan. He reassures us that it's okay, all he has do is re-educate us, and we can even decide how we start. He'll turn us into a proper assistant yet. At the ending he throws what Yoosung and we have been saying before this ending, 'how about we just leave out the traitors and be together," of course, with him saying it it implies he's just going to steal us from Yoosung after re-educating us. After all, he did see us first, and we've been helping him up until recently, all we need is some fixing and we'll be perfect.

Yes, in that bad ending it seems he likes us. However, around the end of the route things take a drastic turn. In Yoosung's route, Seven had discovered the IP address of the hacker's hideout, and was heading out to shut down their operations. Everything is burning down around him, all thanks to his brother. His final act of revenge is to make Luciel realize his sins and then have them all burn together. He's also going to have you burn too, for the heck of it; earlier in the route he had you trapped in your room...for seemingly no reason but to cause chaos (He didn't even come to get you before it was fixed), so why wouldn't he put you in harm's way again. Yes, you were his tool, his agent so to speak, but since he's done, you're done too. He no longer needs you, so he's going to kill you, as an added kick it'll make his brother suffer knowing he failed to protect you. If you want to think of it in a romantic sense, he wants to commit suicide with you and his brother. Of course it all depends on which ending you're looking at. In the original ending, he mentions he's going to blow up both Magenta and our apartment, and says Seven can make amends by allowing them all to die together; it seems romantic in a twisted way. He offhandedly mentions Yoosung will die too, forgetting the kid was there. When they wrestle him for the detonator, Unknown tells Yoosung that if the button is pressed, we will die too, like that was supposed to motivate him to stop. Unknown had lost his mind at this point, thinking it was a good thing to die in that moment, (Don't be scared, kid, your girlfriend will be dying with us.) Then he briefly captures Yoosung and tortures him, egging him on to talk about us as he tortures him. Either this was brought on because he wants to know why we're so great that Yoosung would save us, or he genuinely wants to hear about us; he's crazy at this point, so it could be either or both.

Now in the Yoosung Bad Ending 3, Seven instead of freezing up panics when he sees the detonator, knowing it will blow us up, then Unknown laughs and says we're not the only one going boom, as they're going up in smoke too. This purpose seems more malevolent, killing us as we have no more purpose to him instead of romantically dying together. In this one, Yoosung sacrifices himself to get the detonator away from him and ends up being indefinitely captured by him. While captured, the threat to keep him in line is no only will Unknown possibly mess with the RFA, he might also bring us to where they are. Seeing as he's torturing Yoosung, it's safe to say he'll probably torture us too. At this point, Unknown is just not happy Yoosung foiled his plans for revenge on his brother. As for what he thinks of us, he probably just sees us as a tool, something to release his anger on should the time come. He may have been attracted to us, but his plans come first.

Now let's talk about Jaehee's route, at least Bad relationship ending 2, as he doesn't really show up in the route aside from those. In this ending, V has apparently settled things between Mint Eye and the RFA, sacrificing himself to end the fighting. Yet, Unknown has still decided to cause trouble seeing as Luciel didn't play by the rules, so neither will he. He decided to go after you first because you seemed distracted. When you ask who he is, he asks you to call him an angel because he's delivering you to Paradise. He wonders if you wanted to see him (leaning on the 4th wall there), so he promises to spend so much time with you during your re-education that you will start to get sick of him. He also mentions he has a fun program planned for you that will probably make you tremble more than you're doing already.

So, it seems he wants to give personal attention to your re-education. Is this this because he feels this sort of possessiveness and responsibility towards you. He's the one to put you in there, and he's the one to take you out. You're his little tool of chaos, you're his assistant, so he has responsibility for you.

Now let's look at Zen's route. Unknown doesn't make himself known (ha) until near the end of the route. We get a little insight into Mint Eye's plans for the MC and RFA being discussed by Unknown to someone else. He's surprised we were able to pull it off (-_- What?), but everything is going according to their plans. (Question: why did he recruit us for this if he didn't think we could do it?) Apparently, we don't have to be good at the job he gives us, we just have to be willing to do it. Anyways, moving on...he says the plan is to capture the MC, which will eventually bring the RFA to them. Apparently the plan here is to bring in an innocent person so V will be pushed to throw a party, cause enough confusion and chaos that Unknown can hack in and obtain the guest information, and then kidnap the MC to cause even more confusion and chaos so the RFA can be captured and brought to Mint Eye. He then talks about his plans for the RFA, saying they'll tortured to the point where once they are nice to the members again, they'll be grateful to them. Zen then has a vision of MC being kidnapped; it doesn't actually happen, but in the dream we're told if we behave he'll treat us like a princess. The MC is referred to as a princess several times in the game. It's a term of endearment, so it's used by Zen and Jumin (who can actually treat you like a princess), but it's also used by Unknown, Ray and Saeran, for different reasons. When Unknown uses it in the dream, it means he'll treat you really nicely. Other times he uses it he seems to be implying that the MC is someone whom everyone wants to protect, someone who's sheltered away, a damsel in distress. When he actually shows up to kidnap you, he goes on talking about how he's taking you to a great place, so you should just come with him willingly. Yes, Zen comes in to save you, and he takes this moment to mock him and criticize the group. He points out that they shouldn't make a woman live on her own with bomb, even though having her live there was a part of his plan (He's pointing out they should have more common sense). He threatens to blow up the apartment if Zen tries anything, killing all of them. He's willing to die for the cause, and he doesn't care if you do as well; he's attracted to you, holds responsibility over you, but isn't in love with you. He tells Zen to watch as he takes "his girl" away. That's when you either bite his hand or wait for Zen to save you. He threatens to blow up the place, but apparently he doesn't because you go back there for the Valentine's day DLC. Maybe he had a change of heart, or didn't see the point because we already escaped.

Let's look at his bad endings, this is where Unknown shows more attraction to us. First, there is the 2nd Bad relationship ending. Basically, Zen doesn't get to us in time. Besides where he talks about how you don't have a choice and how you just waited mostly, he talks about what's going to happen. He says if re-educates you just a little bit, you will let go of everything and depend on him. He promises to protect you and give you an exciting life. He's mostly just excited on the fact you get to be "his." Here is my theory: despite everything, he's looking for a companion. He remembers his brother and his brother took care of him, but his brother "betrayed" him. He's lonely, and he wants that again, but not with him; he wants it with someone where he can be the protector, as he's not weak anymore; he'll also do a much better job than his brother did. The MC is attractive enough, maybe she can fill that role.

Then there's the third Bad Ending, where Zen also doesn't get there in time, of course in this ending we seem to go with him willingly. We are not happy we were forced to live with a bomb so we don't trust the RFA anymore. Unknown tells a story about a Prince and a Princess (Zen is Princely, and we are the RFA's Princess). The princess was being kept in a tall tower by a group of liars. She hoped the prince would save her, but he was just another liar. Luckily, there was someone better for her. There was an angel (him) watching her from afar, who wanted to bring her to paradise. Wisely, she believed him; going with him to paradise and becoming happy forever. The prince ended up following her, but unlike the princess it took him a bit for the angel to tame him. Unknown drugged and hypnotized Zen into becoming just a role to play, and it's implied he tortured him too. Unknown is crafting him into a prince to romance the princess (us), but Zen is having trouble focusing due to the drugs. I'm not sure how long that game would go, if he would even let us be together. Maybe Zen would be just some toy for us to romance, maybe he'll never be done 'practicing.' Either way, Unknown heavily believes Zen to be a liar, and not good enough for us. I think he's a hypocrite, as Unknown has pretended to be different people before. Unknown is insane, and insane people tend to be hypocrites. He doesn't think anyone is good enough for us, this is mainly because he believes he's better than all of them; we don't count as we're an innocent brought into this.

That's it for the regular routes. Now on to the Deep Routes.

First let's start with Jumin's Route, Unknown hardly shows up here. They run into him near the end of the route. Seven recognizes him, and Unknown asks how we're doing, queuing Seven in that he was the one behind everything. In the third Bad Ending, Unknown is waiting for you at the apartment. He expresses frustration that Seven basically destroyed his group, and now he wants to make him pay. His savior told him that in order to do that he had to wait for us at our apartment and then press the button. It doesn't seem like he knows exactly what it does in this route, as he's surprised when he hears the countdown. He does want to hurt us though, as he knows Seven cares about us; at least it was his job to protect us. There's no sign of attraction from him in this route, as he barely showed up. When he did, he was so mad, that we're just a means of revenge for him. Yeah he's attracted to us, but when he's mad, revenge comes first.

Seven's route the attraction comes through more. When Unknown realizes he's been tracked by his brother, he decides to speed up his plans to hack into the security system and kidnap the MC. As soon as he starts making his plans, he starts talking to us as if we can hear him ("Just you wait MC, I'll bring you to Mint Eye first.") You usually apostrophe like this if you're excited or anxious to see someone, or if you really wish someone could hear what you had to say to them. It shows he really wants to induct us. There's a story mode where he's talking to his savior about why he's leaving so suddenly, explaining that he wants to induct the girl he mentioned to them. Then he actually arrives at the apartment, telling us to be careful of the glass as he comes in (kudos to him). He explains to us he's the hacker of the security system and the one who led us to the apartment, as well as the one who sent the invites to paradise. He says the RFA is filled with liars and false hope which will be explained when we get to the second location. When we refuse, he tells us we don't have a say because he put us here, so he gets to take us out. This is all so everyone can be happy, including us. If you question the promise of Happiness, he's ecstatic thinking you're like him and promises special treatment for you at Magenta. If you still refuse to go, calling out for Seven, he gets furious. He claims Seven will not save us, and even if he tries it's too late. He then says he will cleanse us of our false faith and show us true paradise. He probably was reminded of how he wanted Seven to save him back in the day and he never did, and if Seven did try to save us, that would make him more furious; so Luciel would save her but not his own brother, huh? He wouldn't want to give him that satisfaction. He doesn't want us to believe in the fantasy he once believed in, so I guess he feels he's 'saving' us this way. He warns us that we better come with him while he's still rational. Seven then shows up, and Unknown grumbles that he was hoping to make Seven suffer, probably by taking away the person he was trying to protect. The brothers talk for a bit about their relationship and the past until MC is brought up again. Seven begs Saeran to let us go, as we nothing to do with what's going on between them. Saeran counters that since he brought us there, we're his. He then quickly figures out that Seven has feelings for us, and realizes he could torture us to hurt Seven. He's attracted to us, but his revenge comes first. If we try to get away, he warns us not to fight back as he will hurt us. He starts getting ecstatic thinking of how to torture us, implying most people have to go through it to get into Mint Eye anyway. Luckily, we get away from him.

In the first Bad Ending of 707's route, we don't manage to get away from him. He takes us away, planning on playing with us to inflict pain on Seven. So he tortures us, takes pictures of us in pain, and sends them to Seven. He's talking to us, but we might as well not be there; we're not even responding. He decides to make it seem like we ultimately enjoy what he's doing to us, make it seem like we don't care if we're rescued by him or not. So, basically Stockholm syndrome. We are very compliant at this point, either we actually do have Stockholm syndrome, or we're tortured to the point we'll do anything he tells us to do (The difference here is we still want to leave, still are hoping we'll be rescued). We're so obedient here, to the point we give him exactly what he wants. He seems to like that about us. He decides then to have us after photo taking. In our state of mind...yeesh.

Later in the route, when we find him at Mint Eye, we try convincing him to hear us out. When we first run into him, he doesn't like the fact we're friendly with each other. Of course, he does say it's nice to see us again. He probably doesn't want Seven to be happy with us, not that he holds anything against us. If we wish to run, he comments how we're so naive. Once Seven begins to explain himself, Saeran warns us not to trust him, as he was abandoned we will be too. If we tell him it was a misunderstanding, he believes we're brainwashed. If we say we'll be the judge of what happens, he says we're brave but foolish to follow Seven.

In the 2nd bad relationship ending of the route, he mistakes us for his Mom in a dissociative fit. This is probably because his brother is nearby, and we're the only woman nearby, he was probably brought back to his time as a kid. That doesn't count.

In the Third Bad Ending of the route, he tricks us into thinking us trying to convince him worked. He secretly leads us to a cell where we'll be locked in a corner until we're 'tamed.' Seven begs for us to be released, which Saeran doesn't wish to do. We are useless in his plans to become a better hacker, he only needs his brother. However, he thinks he can use us to keep Seven in line. He promises a good life for us as long Seven listens to him, but we'll be tortured in front of him should he misbehave. He likes us enough to treat us nicely, but his revenge comes first. Seven then threatens him into letting us go. Saeran then says his savior told him he shouldn't desire too many things. He then decides to let us go. So that says he would've liked to have us around.

Then there's the Secret endings, of course the reaction to us in those is not strong there. The only real reaction we get is that he mentions us in his apostrophe to Seven. He says that us and Vanderwood will join Mint Eye, which was his original plan for us, so he might react similarly to all the bad endings.

So far, he would like us as a companion, especially if we're like him and have a dark broken side. He genuinely believes he's doing us a good turn, and wants to 'help' us. Of course, he'd like us to be useful to him. As well as we can't come in between him and his revenge.

Let us now look at the Christmas DLC: In this DLC, the plan just seems to be kidnapping us. Of course, that isn't abundantly clear, especially seeing as the MC is super naive. First, you get a text asking if you remember him (I'd be pretty disappointed if you don't), he says he's been wondering how you've been doing and asks if you want to see him. If you ask him about the other members, he types you this madness mantra of how much he wants to get revenge. Of course, if you say you want to know who he is, he says to be patient in getting to know him, as he has a lot of questions too (By the time we're familiar with each other, a lot of things will have changed.) In his second text, he goes on about he feels like in his attempts to see us he'll be blocked. (I want to play with you...) He continues by mentioning the event, but not knowing about it. He asks you to invite him to the event (You won't keep secrets from me, would you?). You can send him the address to the apartment or the event. With the apartment, he comments he already knows it, but it's still difficult. With the event's address, he realizes that it's a Christmas charity party being thrown. The last text says he still has trouble getting through, but if he knew a moment where the red-head wasn't paying attention he'd find a weak spot, like the end of the event. So he asks for end-time. We can tell him the event's over, or we can tell him the event ends at nine. If we tell him it's over, he knows we're lying and plans to attack the RFA. If we do tell him the end-time, we remind him he said he'd come to get me soon. He's happy we remembered, (I'm liking you more and more), promises us that we'll have more fun with him than the RFA. Later he gives us a call, in that call he hints he can see us trembling with fear after he freaks us out with his creepy singing. No matter what we tell him, that we want our gift or we don't, he tells us he'll just do what he wants. He's our Santa, watching over us, difference being that he despises nice children. Of course, he encourages us to be nice until he comes to see us, just to see what will happen. He gives us a text later based on the person we bonded with the most. He likes to make us feel guilty about bonding with them. For Zen, he claims he's an actor so he's probably just pretending his feelings for us. For Yoosung, he claims Yoosung's eyes are on someone else and we're living in someone else's shadow. For Jaehee, he claims that she works so hard and is constantly busy so she doesn't have time for you. For Jumin, he claims his trust in you will break once he finds out you've been texting Unknown, you've basically betrayed him. For Seven, he says he will get quite upset when he finds out despite everything he's done to protect you, you've basically betrayed that. Then the event happens, but you don't see him until you get back home.

Most people I see react to this ending are not surprised and actually wanted to see him, but at least one person I saw was surprised it happened. So story wise, the MC probably didn't know this was going to happen. She is rather naive, she probably thought he was going to show up at the party. Also probably thought she could avoid a kidnapping. He is not a great guy to be with, he's emotionally manipulative.

When you see him, he wonders if you honestly thought the place would be empty, and hopes you had the happiest day of your life. He comments on how strong the security was, but he got through thanks to you. He wants you to admit you like him, (players maybe, MC who knows?) why else would you help him? Were you just being nice? (Some people have that problem). He tells you if you admit you like him he'll make your Christmas unforgettable. Of course, MC is trembling, so he wonders if she's scared of him or what might happen? He then critiques us saying if we're scared of what might happen, we shouldn't have contacted him. We were quite bold. He's fully down to believing we like him, regardless of what the reality is, and that we want to spend Christmas with him. He goes to tell us his idea of Christmas, thinking we'll love it. He tells us about Santa, and how he supposedly gives presents to nice children, however he's just a made up figure adults use to control their children. People are naive and believe in him, and so the bad people like him should just feel guilty on days like Christmas. A better version of Christmas for him would not have a Santa, and instead he'd take revenge on the adults who made him feel guilty. "And bad children like you and me...will get our presents." MC can tell this guy is unhinged and tries to run, but he tells her it's too late. He promises to show us real happiness, promising a Christmas so sweet we'll never want to return to reality. His Christmas has no naughtiness, no guilt, just Christmas. It then cuts to black as he laughs evilly and hysterically. At the end of the chatroom where the RFA is freaking out over our disappearance, he comes in and says he'll be taking "good care of the princess" Every day will be Christmas for us. So it ends with us being taken captive, enjoying Christmas with Unknown...forever. The CG looks tame enough, it implies we're his gift. We have a lot of presents. Of course, we're not smiling, we seem pretty blank. I guess I wouldn't know what to think.

This DLC re-establishes some things: He thinks we're like him, he wants to play with us, likes us when we're obedient, and considers us a "Princess." Also wants to treat us well, but I think that's mainly for his sake.

[Part 2}

[himejoblr]

 🏳️‍⚧️, 🏳️‍🌈, 😶, 🎶,👗 about kirino, kousaka yukie, taiga kishibe or hikaru? Feel free to choose between them

why decide on one if i can just do it all? (i did them all) for the ask game…

1. kirino ranmaru (again)

🏳️‍🌈 - a sexuality headcanon… i'm rly torn between bisexual kirino and lesbian kirino. Like!! I can't choose!!!! but also i think she's aroflux 🏳️‍⚧️ - a gender headcanon… genderfluid transfem ^^^ ( bonus: he uses she/he pronouns! ) 🎶 - a headcanon about music… canonically has such a nice singing voice so i like to think he memorizes a few songs he likes when he's bored. he also loves having karaoke nights with his friends! i think kirino would listen to a few western artists in order to better his english skills—i'm thinking an artist like paramore! (i just like the thought of her singing ain't it fun or hard times) also she Definitely listens to teniwoha. i mean. Transgender Anthem? Right There! 👗 - a headcanon about their clothes… her wardrobe would mostly be filled with pants and dresses that were gifted to her by her relatives (we love a supportive family!), and sometimes she even wear skirts more than she wears pants !!!!! but at first, he felt insecure about wearing dresses and skirts, even after he came out to his teammates. thanks to a bit of encouragement from said teammates (albeit done… strangely?), she eventually got more comfortable with wearing skirts in public!! 😶 - a random headcanon… the egg cracked when akane asked him if he wanted his nails painted. he was a bit conflicted at first, but eventually accepted her request. the result was amazing, and she's been asking akane to do her nails since then! (also want to mention this one so bad) he's good at drawing, and decided he'd draw a few people from his team out of boredom. ended up drawing almost half his team and his closer friends from outside raimon (ahem ahem taiyou kishibe kurosaki hinano. all of which are headcanons but i don't care)

2. kousaka yukie

🏳️‍🌈 - a sexuality headcanon… i think kousaka's a lesbian! 🏳️‍⚧️ - a gender headcanon… i never thought about that. but also i don't think they're cis. maybe nonbinary just cuz the colors kind of match the genei jersey LOL ( bonus: they use they/she prns! ) 🎶 - a headcanon about music… my girl stans liana flores and dodie (+ reol and oster project). i won't explain anything else 👗 - a headcanon about their clothes… her casual style would definitely be something like this because i said so! 😶 - a random headcanon… they're in two clubs—the track club and the photography club (i like to think genei's photography club doesn't exactly always host long meetings since they're only active during special events, and their track club practices almost daily, and their free days are holidays, sundays, and exam terms)! this would also contribute to my headcanon that she's a fast runner (which i stole from this fic), to the point she's been asked multiple times if she wanted to join the soccer club. she declined the invitation the first few times, but she joined the club as one of the team's managers after one of them left, and eventually grew attached enough to start playing for the team!!! wowww!!!!!!

3. kishibe taiga

🏳️‍🌈 - a sexuality headcanon… i think he's either gay or bisexual. also aroace 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 🏳️‍⚧️ - a gender headcanon… genderfluid transneu 🧑‍🚒🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 ( bonus: she uses she/he/they pronouns! ) 🎶 - a headcanon about music… trust me when i say she'd have a beautiful singing voice. Please just imagine it also, i like to think he'd do the same thing kirino does—maybe as a friendship bonding thing—though his personal favorite western artist is leo! aside from that, i think he'd enjoy listening to leo/need (projecting) and tuyu (more projecting) 👗 - a headcanon about their clothes… i usually imagine them wearing baggy or loose clothes, and that they prioritize comfort over style (they still look after their style, though) and while it doesn't happen often, a few people have seen kishibe wearing skirts before, and they were initially shocked, but who's to say she doesn't rock in them? 😶 - a random headcanon… kishibe has really nice handwriting! many people love complimenting it, which causes him to be embarrassed but grateful, because he likes his own handwriting too!!! kishibe also owns a journal to write about most of their daily experiences and vent out their bottled up feelings. one time, he thought about using the same journal to write down strategies and training methods for his team, but figured it would be too cluttered, so he went to the nearest store to find a notebook. he isn't picky about most things, so he took the first notebook that he saw, and then subconsciously took another one that caught his eye. he realized this and hesitated a bit, but ended up buying both anyway. now she owned two new notebooks—one for strategies, and, well… she had no idea what to do with the other one. she figured she would just keep it empty in case she needed a new notebook, and then she found this rusty old notebook that was lying around in her closet. it was filled with what she'd call "really badly written original stories that have little to no plot." and then she got an idea. what if i revised these stories on that notebook? so now she's the writer friend of kidokawa seishuu (as if she wasn't in the first place)!

4. kageyama hikaru

🏳️‍🌈 - a sexuality headcanon… i raise to you: aroace hikaru. 🏳️‍⚧️ - a gender headcanon… agender(fluid)! triple a battery! ( bonus: she uses any prns! ) 🎶 - a headcanon about music… he's the biggest more more jump and ichinose lupo fan out there! real not clickbait! also, i'm pretty sure he would play the guitar if he didn't join raimon (which is canon already, unless i'm wrong about the instrument he'd play), right? i want to disregard that. in their free time, they pick up their guitar or their ukelele or something and starts strumming it to a few familiar tunes they learned a week ago or two. someone (who i like to think is kariya) ends up walking into them dropping an epic riff in the middle of a song, and then said person just stands there to listen to them playing the guitar until the song ends. post-performance: hikaru realizes she's attracted quite the big audience (raimon), and becomes embarrassed when she hears the clapping and loud cheering. but she's grateful. because she has amazing friends. 👗 - a headcanon about their clothes… he likes layering his clothing! not too much, though, or it's gonna get way too hot for him. he would defo wear something like this! 😶 - a random headcanon… they definitely have this large collection of penguin merch, especially plushies!! they get most of them from kidou and sakuma :3

okay, that's it. i had a lot of fun writing this, so send me more for the ask game, if you want!

[dangerously-human]

8, 9, and 18 for the new/end of year fanfic asks

8. Is there a story idea in your mental vault that you’ve never been brave enough to try writing? Is this the year? Can you tell us about it?

I guess my best answer is the great Fringe fix-it AU, which definitely feels like too much to tackle right now, so I've just been adding tiny pieces as I feel like it. Instead of a proper long-form fic, I may end up just writing snippets that connect over a given timeline - sort of like Restore the Years, I suppose - but the downside to that is that for a work that's entirely founded on the goal to force the post-S3 plot actually make sense and resonate with what came before it, I don't think skipping around and skimping on plot would actually accomplish my goal. Anyway, my idea is basically "Olivia and Peter and Olivia and Lincoln coparent across the bridge between universes," because I think Henry deserved to stay in existence and everyone should have had to actually deal with all the emotional fallout. Also because we were robbed of red!verse Lincoln and Liv falling in love while raising a baby and I'm still mad about it. This is probably not the year, but maybe I'll make some progress on it.

9. Short term goals… what do you hope to complete this week or in January?

Mostly the goal is to just keep chugging along on my WIPs. Ideally I'd like to post the next chapter of Here's a Safe Place to Lay Your Heart Down by the end of the month, but I generally try not to get my heart set on the specifics so as not to take the fun out of it. Planning to participate in at least one January Lockwood & Co flash fiction challenge, I've been really enjoying those. Also thinking of doing a WIP amnesty sort of thing to reevaluate my long-term backlog; for example, there's at least one Community fic that I think I'd be happier completing as a oneshot instead of trying to craft a plot arc around what I already have.

18. Do you typically post multi-chapters as you write, or finish it all and then start posting? Would you like to change your posting method? 

I always have the whole thing outlined (loosely) and at least a solid start at drafting all chapters before I start posting. It inhibits my creativity if I don't know where I'm going and I'm constantly stressing about making a decision I can't undo later. I used to be way more of a pantser, even as recently as my Continuum days, and it was nice for keeping motivation high but that meant plots that didn't always fit together neatly or pacing that felt clunky. Those Binary Stars was probably my first experiment with the loose outlining method - mm, I suppose I tried pieces of it with Just Once, but that was supposed to be a oneshot that wouldn't shut up and thus pacing issues were a given - and the three-act structure is probably a huge part of why I was suddenly able to bang out high-quality longfic (for me, anyway) like never before.

[machidielontheway]

i am chatty today because i've got ✨The Anxieties✨

i choose to stop two choirs this year cause i didn't have fun like before (a long while, actually) and i had said to friends "i will come back with you to this other choir, the one we met all in, like you already have since a year". and i really thought i would cause it would let me keep community, and a regular occasion to work on what we'd see with my singing teacher.

but in the last two months i felt so relieved and free to not have to go back to the choirs i stopped, i began feeling like going to this other one would be again 'stiffling', even tho it's at a very low level (beginner level, altho a good beginner level). and that it would become a chore again.

i went to the open session yesterday and seeing all my friends and having fun in the warm up was really, really nice. but the choir work in itself, while of good sound quality and with a good chef, was so sloooow to my own needs. and we can't talk for real when in session, or just quick when the voice working is changing, so it's texting or nothing.

and i felt that i would be soon unfulfilled / bored in it, of the pace, and also the songs are nice but not really my taste (it was once 100%, but now it's only 50% to what i heard was planned.)

cons : - lot of people, mask is somehow accepted. i don't want to go back to singing in mask because it's really hard and creates problems which i have already, in terms of Singing. but given how covid moves lately i also don't want to be in 60 people's company in one medium room without a mask. - "slow" pace, potentially boring "what am i doing here" thinking. i could definitively bring something to do, or just read or something, as lot of people do, but i don't want my choir experience to be "you come for 2 hours and, besides warming up, you sing 15 of them". i know a good numbers of good / high level singers are in this choir and don't mind cause the ambiance is really nice, the quality is here, and the community is good, but i don't think i would have liked it. - i already have three weeks a night taken (danse, tv night with friend<3, and instrument soon if i'm not averse to it after the trial class tonight). going to choir would make it four nights a week taken every weeks (unless i double one night which is possible but not ideal especially on the long term). and i want that time to try new things / try to go forward in my life ! - i don't want to double down on my "choir the last years has been more of a duty sometimes than anything else" and continue and risk disliking it even more. i feel like simply singing in the grass or in a church with friends brings me much more pleasure, simple giddy fulfilling and without anxieties. yeah i can't sing masterpieces i've been dreaming to sing since years, needing 40 persons, but those masterpieces are not going away. they will still be sung in years and years (indodana and baba yetu my beloved)(that, funnily enough, are going to be sung this year in one of the choir i left lol. didn't change my decision) - having "one night more" gives me a little more time to try to be more active in reaching out to friends and proposing drinks or outings or so (....maybe. that's the plan. "if you wish you had a friend like that, be that friend" post)

pros : - singing and spending a little time every week with my friends, who as adult is hard to do in other circomstances ! - not feeling like my friends are having fun and sharing time together and i'm all alone not being there :( - working on what i'm working on with my singing teacher... maybe (loosing your long-time used crutches / wrong things you did because you didn't know better is very hard in context of choir where you body has sooo many automatisms)

So cons are winning a lot. but i'm so scared i'm making the wrong choice !! especially imagining them all having fun and feeling like i'm the one not there, shunned of my own desire. it uh. it hit a little bit deep in the never healed wound in my heart.

[lizbethborden]

did you watch the new abbott ep? thoughts?

I did! I was kind of 50/50 on it. Sorry in advance for rambling LOL

I feel like the double episode format just... Really messed up the pacing. Way too much happened in way too little time, so there was nothing satisfying and the stakes didn't feel very high. I think there were also some big missed opportunities.

"New Ava" gets resolved in like the first 10 min with 0 impact on the overall story or the characters... like why. This should have been dragged out for the whole episode IMO, it would have been so fun. But they just wanted to get it out of the way to race to the Janine-leaving-Abbott story. Also Janelle looked fucking amazing and pretty much stole the episode, so they should have just let her run away with it instead of confining the humor and drama to the very beginning.

"Oh no Janine went to work for the district, oh no Teddie isn't going to happen maybe, omg Janine is working with a new cute guy" doesn't generate any emotional tension because it all gets talked through by the characters in a short time span and Janine and Gregory are friends again by the end of the episode thanks to the timeskip. The will they/won't they was timed really well throughout the first 2 seasons so where is that sense of timing now yk...

Barbara like... did not do much to be honest... She resolved the New Ava problem, but after that mostly stood around and was a sounding board and complained about the district/changed her tune after ONE conversation where Manny said what could reasonably be, pardon me, just bullshit, bc we don't know him well as a character yet, and somehow Barb was like yay :) I like the district now :). She felt really underutilized. She deserves a PLOTLINE this season. I feel like Sheryl gets a lot of praise and attention, but the show doesn't always give her opportunities to match what she really contributes.

The Gary/Melissa situation ground my gears a lot, like it's super great that Melissa stands her ground and rejects him with everyone's support, but tbh "Gary does a massive misogyny using the Philly Eagles and the whole school as a prop" seemed like a moment for Melissa to be angry, not just sad. Like why did she end up comforting HIM? I feel like every time the show brushes up against misogyny something dumb like this happens

Jacob is Jacob and does Jacob things which is fine.

I'm also wondering: where is the charter school storyline??? Have they not been able to get Leslie Odom Jr back? They set him up as a Big Bad and the threat of Abbott being forcibly turned charter as a serious concern and then that completely vanished. Does ABC have some charter school people on its board...? Lol. I would love to find out if maybe Manny and his weirdos could play into this and turn out to be charter school villains but rn this just feels like a major loose end.

It's hard bc I have such a sentimental attachment to the characters and seeing them all back again was so nice. But this felt like a super clumsy start to the season. I'm sure there was a lot of pressure on the writers as well, not just in terms of the double episode format, but because the show has gotten so many awards and so much press, they may have felt they HAD to throw absolutely everything out there to build up the premiere as huge and explosive.

I'm hoping the return to the half hr format will help smooth out a lot of the wrinkles and help bring back some of the structure, because IMO there were definitely hiccups and missteps in past seasons, but you could really feel an underlying story structure for many parts of the show (Teddie, Barb and Janine's relationship, Ava's growth, Melissa and her personal life). Fingers crossed ig

[yung-terps]

A stream of consciousness. Not a new realization but I check in on distanced people more than they check in on me. I think I have come up with some ideas to play around with for a new poem! A little stoked because I haven't written one in awhile. Keep accidentally hanging out with dudes who ultimately just want to have sex. The benefit of the doubt hardly ever benefits me. There was one cool dude this past week, I guess. The thing is, when they skirt around their intentions, I kind of get off on getting them to just like. Voice it aloud. At some point during the night, I learn he is moving across the damn ass country soon and take note, considering I want something long-term. Later we start to makeout and it's fun, it's whatever. I like kissing. We break away after a little bit and I suggest that we walk to the corner store. He agrees, slipping in an "after". After what? Answer the question. And he eventually did. I want to fuck you. Surprise. He didn't even finger me. It was fine. See you never. My roommate is home from a 2-month thing. I cleaned the apartment from top to bottom... all of its nooks and crannies... I hope they feel welcomed! Still some stuff I want to hang and touch-up, all easily overlooked though. They are my secrets. Things just need to look lived in now. It's all too.... untouched... even though in actuality I spent the last few hours putting my hands all over everything. Arguably the most I have in a long time. Dusting and placing and rotating. You get it though... the living room needs to be hung out in.... broken in. I'm sure the suitcases have already made the place feel less... sterilized and proper... no longer like a set. The overhead lighting in the kitchen is harsh, always has been... often takes me out of reality! I have an idea to hang these paper pyramid-like string lights that I have had for years and years. Some are beat-up but I think it would add to the space... give us more options... and it just would be cute. Before my shower I removed the stain glass lightbulb, only leaving in two small red ones. Stood there, the water nice and hot. Sat on the tub floor. Closed my eyes. Leaned forward. Listened to the music I chose. Got out, screwed the loose bulb back in. I have an ongoing joke with myself that I will find my missing hard drive in a stupid silly fucking place, coping about it an entire year later. I noticed that I had some board games that were still taped shut from when I moved. Laughed with myself about the possibilities and opened them up. I am still holding out hope but no luck this time! I may knock on my old front door one day. I kind of resent the new owners for buying my home though. And how quick it all was. Like, get fucked, but also can I please have my hard drive? I mean, if it's in there. What I did find was a pile of half-used notepad sheets for a game that hasn't been played in forever. Some of them were drawn on by people I no longer speak to. One had a doodle done by my ex-boyfriend. It's weird to think about how I have lived, like, thirteen different lives. I think I would forgive a lot of people. Or even apologize to them. I also found two 8-in-1 retractable ballpoint pens. So, like, some treasure and a lot of thoughts. I did a little bit of glueing and taping and messing around in my journal. I feel I am doing okay in a very general sense. Trying my best and keeping up. I could do better. Can't we all though? Is that a cop-out? I don't care about money, I don't know, it's just practically all my parents would argue about in front of us. I don't care as long as my shit gets paid on time. But I think I have to shift gears and thought processes because I would like to live a little more comfortably, ultimately concerning myself with it less. Gonna look over my resume. Keep going, keep busy. Try to slim down my closet. Fix my camera. Maybe it did end up working on my last trip. Do this and that. Keep on playing Tears of the Kingdom and text dudes less. There's more passion involved with the former. Used used used. Wondering. Navigating. October is almost here.