#and i use actual play as my close reading examples so that's fun!

[wetcatspellcaster]

While I love hearing about your fic writing, that last WIP Wendy has me curious. What is your thesis about??? How are you feeling so close to your submission deadline? What has teaching been like?

(I finished grad school 2 years ago, and remember the weight of academia acutely)

hey anon, thank you for asking (and condolences on the typo ;) )

i'm a PhD student based in a literature department, but my topic is actually... *fanfare* D&D! that's right, she's that one note, everybody!

anyway, my thesis examines D&D gameplay as reader response to fantasy literature - arguing that often, the ways people play reflects the things they wish was different in the books/media they consume. E.g. people who play/write drow or orc characters no longer tend to perpetuate the racism of the Forgotten Realms, implying they don't appreciate racism in fantasy, or people often queer their favourite characters from media and turn them into something new, etc. It basically takes theories from fan studies and fantasy literature academia, and applies them to D&D as a way of showing that D&D has always had a large role in shaping fantasy literature and what people expect from fantasy :)

as to how i feel finishing - my final deadline, due to my sick leave, is June 28th. I'm currently completing a full draft by the end of the month for my supervisors to read through and offer corrections on. Mostly... just tired? And scared, tbh. I've been funded and thus not really participating in capitalism for 3 and a half years, so I'm not exactly relishing unemployment and job hunting, and academic jobs in the UK are a depressing prospect as there's not many of them. It's also too early for me to do anything about it - the most useful thing for me to do right now is simply finish the thesis, so I don't outstay my welcome and my funding. I know I'll be fine eventually, but it's just going to suck.

Teaching is genuinely wonderful! I teach first year English Lit (basically Novel 101), which is like karma, as it's many books I didn't enjoy in my undergrad, but they are much easier to read now I'm at the skill level I'm at! If a class is chatty and invested, it's genuinely so much fun - it doesn't feel like work. But even the quiet hungover early morning classes are rewarding, bc often people get better grades in their finals than their midterms. Even if I have nothing to do with that, and they've just gotten better on their own, it's nice to see people improve and succeed :) (and know you didn't accidentally fuck em up along the way)

[1800classiccherries]

Slideshow!

⚘ 1610!Miles Morales x black!fem!reader

⚘ fluff! use of n word like once, teen romance

⚘ summary: Miles and Y/n make a slideshow to convince his parents to be able to be in his room with the door closed.

⚘ wc: 631

You and Miles were on his bed, sitting in silence a foot or so apart, which was odd because you two were never normally this awkward. Occasionally one of you would glance at the wide open door, revealing Miles's parents walking by here and there, which is why you two kept your distance.

For context, when you and Miles first started dating, you two weren't allowed in his room and had to stay in a public space like the living room; however, y'all are obnoxiously loud. When you two were playing games, loud. Even just talking, you two laughed loud. Except, when it was a movie night, it was quieter because y'all were so wrapped up in the plot.

To be honest, y'all were fine in the living room, but it was rough always being told to quiet down. The volume of you two in the same room was too much, so Miles suggested to his parents that you two go to his room instead of being confined to only the living room. Under one condition, the door stayed wide open.

And so there y'all were sitting side-by-side in a semi-awkward silence.

You feel the weight on the bed shift closer to you, and an arm makes its way over your shoulder, "Hey."

"Nigga, what?" you say without thinking at his cheesy attempt to make a move on you.

With a pout, he takes his arm off your shoulder and leans back upright, "You ruined the moment."

You giggle at his pouting, feeling a little bad about your reaction, "My bad, stink, it was a natural reflex. Try again," you offer, tossing your locs over your shoulder.

Miles clears his throat before leaning back over, putting an arm over your shoulders again.

"Hey." He says with a smirk and a tilt of his head.

"Hi," you respond, tilting your head the same way, your eyes glancing down at his lips before back up at his eyes.

"You look really pretty right now," He compliments, leaning in.

"Thank you," you whisper with a smile, leaning in as well.

You hear someone clear their throat walking past the doorway of his room, causing both of y'all to quickly move away and back into the awkward silence.

~

A week or so later--that situation happening again and again--you and Miles were on Facetime brainstorming ideas for the slideshow y'all planned to make to convince Miles's parents (mainly his mom) to let y'all have the door closed.

The both of you knew it was ambitious to shoot for something so big, so that's why you had to create the best slideshow presentation of all time.

"Okay, what do we think about this template?" you ask, turning your camera around to show a classy slideshow template.

"Perfect." he nods, and you add him to the slideshow.

~

A few days of hard work and planning go by, and it's now the day you two scheduled to present the presentation.

In preparation, the two of you coordinated your most trustworthy-looking outfits and practiced how you would present. Y'all knew you both were being extra, but at the end of the day, it didn't matter because y'all were having fun.

"Greetings, esteemed guests," Miles opens, gesturing to the title slide on tv.

You and Miles alternated presenting slides, explaining how having a door closed is reverse psychology, decreasing the chances of anything happening. Also, the classic, if the door was closed, grades would improve (don't know how, but there was a graph to prove it), along with a few other random and made-up examples.

"Thank you for your time," you close, and the two of you bow.

Following suit, his dad gives a round of applause, "That was actually pretty impressive."

His mom sighs, "We'll think about it."

Thanks for reading!

Ngl i wanna do a part two but at the same time i dont know if it'd be any good... if youd be interested in part two lmk

part 2

[genericpuff]

I'm honestly amazed by how well you can imitate the LO S3 art style! Have you always been good at this sort of thing or is it a skill you developed due to your work as a tattoo artist?

ahhh thank you, but ima let you in on a little trade secret -

it's literally just referencing LMAO which is a valuable skillset to have! but one that I think a lot of folks tend to overlook because they think "learning to draw" means "I need to be able to draw everything perfectly from imagination!" Which sure, learning how to draw things without needing references might be cool, but it's ultimately not the sole defining feature of a "good artist" and I think there's frankly way too much emphasis put on "drawing without references" these days because it creates this unrealistic expectation of what an artist is. Referencing is part of the process! It's important! And it's a valuable skill to have so that you can actually grow your skills beyond your own limits! Referencing is as important to the process of creating art as research is to the process of writing, you can only produce so much new stuff if you're not taking in new stuff alongside it.

Though I use this skill a lot in tattooing as well, it's mostly rooted in my animation schooling which broke me out of the habit of drawing purely from imagination and taught me how to properly reference other material for educational purposes.

And I'm sure there are people in audience right now gasping at the fact that I simply cropped a bunch of different shots of Minthe from S3 and rearranged them like some surgical madman playing with body parts-

-but this is like, the actual majority of the process when it comes to learning other art styles and this process is taught as a skill in a lot of art schools because it forces you to draw what's there rather than what you think is there. This is the basis of master studies, to learn the techniques of other artists by trying to mimic them as closely as possible. Don't know what tools that artist used specifically? Try to recreate the work anyways with your best guess. Even if you only get close but not perfect, you'll still likely learn a lot along the way and may even develop some brand NEW techniques that weren't present in the original work you're studying from.

Imagination is necessary to the creative process, but it's only part of that process, you can't suddenly learn how to draw the way other artists draw through imagination alone because your imagination is limited purely by your own lived experiences. Our brains don't come pre-installed with these skills, they can't just magically unlock the capability to "do the thing". Just like how we have to learn to follow recipes as a means to becoming a baker or learn to read the alphabet to learn how to read and write, we have to learn how to draw what we see and reference the material around us if we truly want to expand our own innermost knowledge which will allow us to draw from imagination.

Here are some other examples of studies I've done, such as my attempts to learn the art style of The Doctor Foxglove Show:

As well as a background study from S1 of LO:

And of course here are a handful of the shitloads of studies I've done to try and "figure out" how to draw Hades and Persephone from S1 of LO:

Aaaand just for the fun of it, here are some completely non-LO studies, like the ones I did of Kazuma Koda's background work and Akihiko Yoshida's character designs for Nier: Automata:

And this sorta rotoscoped ??? animatic of Mitsuhiro doing the opening jig for Still Feel by Half Alive which is 100% not done and probably never will be LOL

I'm always progressively doing studies of both LO and other media in this way so that I can update my knowledge and continue to improve my skillset.

Though, despite my best efforts to mimic the original creator's style, works like Rekindled will always have my own stylizations present, as that's just an inevitable consequence of it being made by myself and Banshriek (and the fact that we just refuse to draw worse to look more like LO because jfc so much of LO's original art, even the stuff we love, is rooted in Rachel's trial and errors lmao), but that's a feature, not a bug :') <3

So the answer is yes, the Minthe S3 redraw was done through skills I developed over time, though not necessarily through tattooing, simply through learning how to actually practice properly beyond "drawing a lot". And you can too! Draw lots, but also remember that your brain isn't naturally just going to "get better" at whatever you're trying to achieve just because you really want to achieve it. I try to avoid the mantra of "just practice" because it oversimplifies what's truly necessary to learning - having something to learn from outside of your own imagination. If you don't learn how to practice properly, then you'll just wind up repeating the same mistakes and reinforcing the same bad habits over and over again.

All that's to say, if you want to learn how to draw like a certain artist, try and recreate their art for yourself ;0 (but like also please for the love of god remember that it's for EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES, I shouldn't have to tell y'all not to copy directly off other artists' work for your own because that's just deadass stealing lmao) I know this enters the ethical dilemma of tracing, and whether or not it's a "valid" way to learn, but there's a lot of virtue in learning through referencing other artists and building new skills through them. I'm sure folks will argue that it's a 'crutch' or 'training wheels', but that's all often being touted from the perspective that crutches and training wheels... are automatically bad things and aren't meant to help people ?

Like obviously if you want to create your own thing that isn't purely "living in the shadow" of the works that inspired you, you WILL have to make that leap into the unknown. But that leap's a lot less scary to make when you have a parachute.

[rathayibacter]

been thinking about the parallels between ttrpgs and poetry lately, synthesizing some stuff i've been sitting on with both. i don't remember where i heard this from, but i really like the idea of defining poetry as writing that can't be edited down any more; if you made even one cut, one word replacement, you'd lose something. even the repetitions and redundancies are there to communicate something, because if they weren't they'd be removed. 

its not true, of course, but i don't think it has to be. as a lens to examine poetry i think it's fun, and as a goal when writing poetry it's helped me on more than one occasion. any claim to Fundamental Truth beyond that line doesn't matter much in my opinion. what i like about this isn't that it makes for poetry where you have to read a certain meaning out of every single line to "get it", its actually kinda the opposite! by assuming there's meaning baked into every detail, you can get meaning out of any detail you decide to focus on, and can narrow your focus as much or as little as you like. my favorite poetry is messy, colorful, and dense; you're not gonna get a single clean reading out of it because doing that requires ignoring all the fun little twists and turns, all the intersecting ideas that led it to this point.

and so that brings us to ttrpgs! role-playing games are a fascinating thing because they can really only get us halfway; even the most strict and detailed game has an innate fuzziness that comes from the peculiarities of how we play tabletop games. your mechanics are only airtight if everyone knows, understands, and remembers them, and those are three tall orders for any game, no matter how simple or intuitive it may present as. and that's not even a bad thing! interpretation isn't just "what percentage of the rules are the players getting wrong", its an adaptation of the rules as written to the game as played. even forgotten rules are part of this, cuz anything that's able to be forgotten (and again, that's potentially anything) probably was forgotten cuz it wasn't terribly relevant to the table forgetting it. 

so, as we write games and cast them into the world, fully aware that the thing that'll arrive at people's tables will never match what we had in our heads, what should we do? obviously some of this is just practical; don't bog players down with unnecessary busywork or minute exceptions to memorize, don't build a house of cards that stops working if any one part is missing or changed, you can use stuff like cheat sheets, examples of play, indexes, and asides to make it easier to learn, reference, and remember how to play.

but i promised you poetry, and poetry we shall have! so here's my big guiding principle for writing ttrpgs: only include it if it sings. every part of the game should be special, so that no matter what part or parts of the game a particular table winds up using, the game still shines through. by tangling the spirit of the game up in every line, every rule, every tiny little piece, everyone who engages with it can get tangled up in it too, and can fill in the spaces between in whatever way resonates most with them.

in more practical terms, this is "don't write anything that's less interesting than what the players will make up at the table", ie assume players will fill any missing spaces to the table's preferences, so only close those gaps if you've got something fun to say. don't fill space out of obligation, don't bog yourself down in the stuff that doesn't matter. this doesn't mean never add a polearms list because there's a million polearms lists out there already, but it does mean don't add a polearms list unless you're burning with passion to add it, and excited for people to share in that passion. if you don't, don't worry about it. they can figure it out. the table can always replace your good ideas with ones they like more, and they can always fill in the gaps when they come up, but it's not always easy to recover from a wall of bland filler or an ocean of lifeless cliches.

i wont tell you that if you follow this One Weird Trick then your game will be good. i don't know what a good game is. or rather, i know exactly what i think a good game is, and have no idea what you think it is, and have less than no faith that anyone could ever determine what a Truly Good Game is. but just like the quippy little definition of poetry at the top, universal truth isn't really what i'm after when i employ this. i'm trying to make something that satisfies the little itch in my brain, that sings to me as i make it and keeps singing even after i let it go. moreover, i'm trying to make something that doesn't waste my time as a writer, and doesn't waste yours as a reader or player or fellow designer. 

will this make sure players remember all the rules when they're playing? no, absolutely not. i wouldn't want them to, even if i could force it! but maybe, hopefully, what this does do is lodge one of those little razor-sharp slivers of text in their brains, and it'll sing to them just like it sang to me. not the same song, not the same tune, but just as beautifully.

[moonliched]

Hello baby!

Kisses u on the forehead

How r u feeling? I just finished rereading your fic and damn i love it so much it's in my solid top 3 of mer fics and is keeping its 1st place proudly. I just melt into a happy puddle while reading it! And during a day my mind often drifts to think and theorise about your work! Also you are so cute and bubbly it only adds on to the whole vibe in the book. I loved little fun facts! They are adding so much character and perspective to the people and situations! Can we have some more?

Btw can we give you some ideas for plants and stuff?

Kisses!

can't wait to see more of your magic 🌸✨️

you n me, perchance (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

i am feeling like i need a long holiday! i hope your autumn is off to a good start🍁🍂

you have no idea how big of a complement this is aaaaaaaaa, i always wanted to make a fic likeable enough to reread xD you're so nice to me❤️

you can absolutely give me whatever ideas you'd like, i welcome the excuse to chat n make up cool fantasy stuff😊✨ thanks for the ask, i am absolutely squeezing you in a hug rn!!

i gotcha more fun There Are Many Benefits facts ;3

🪸 Sun and Moon coexist calmly and happily. they are very close and their bickering isn't in seriousness. so if you join in, at any moment they might exchange a glance and gleefully gang up on you at the drop of a hat

🪸 Meryn can see a deeper range of certain colours than the mers can, like the difference between the white of Sun's eyes and his paler pupils. so Sun thinks he's being sneaky when he looks at Meryn without moving his head, but obviously Meryn can tell that he's staring dead at them. they find it funny

🪸 after Meryn revealed in chapter 16 that they intend to build BON-BON a body, he promptly spent the rest of the night searching up cool robot images and brainstorming stuff to put in it. he 100% has not thought about the sheer work that's going to go into making just a regular body, nor the fact that Meryn would never ever trust him with rocket launchers

🪸 Sun and Moon are aware on some level that Humans Wear Clothes (though how they know this is a spoiler!) but they don't fully understand the minutiae of the when and the why humans keep covered. so, just enough to get flustered when they're removed lol

🪸 Meryn was considering getting piercings before their hand webbing was removed. now they have lost their taste for any permanent body modifications

🪸 BON-BON spies on the Glamrock team's meetings, but not as much as he used to. he gets bored easily and a lot of what they discuss references previous tasks and goals he also didn't really listen to when they were first brought up. as a result, he misses out on a lot of stuff that would make for juicy gossip-and-mystery-solving content to share with Meryn😅

🪸 Sun thinks that Meryn's 'nest' (bed) is tragically bare. it must be because they have no one to take care of them! he has plans to rectify that

🪸 Meryn typically responds with a one word 'okay' when they're agreeing without meaning it

🪸 BON-BON thinks the Glamrock team's apparent bleeding-heart stance on AI is just performative, and that if the time comes to ever put those beliefs into action they would fall back on reporting him as sentient

🪸 Vanessa only followed Meryn's example of using he/him pronouns for Sun when he spoke like a human, by mimicking her words

🪸 it's often obvious to Sun and Moon when Meryn doesn't understand something, and they find it amusing to call them on it, or let it play out if Meryn doesn't express their confusion. they think it's cute

🪸 As of chapter 16, Meryn is getting sick of Monty helping himself to their food and drink and has a plan to punish him for it >:3

🪸 BON-BON's enjoyment of shopping is more to do with the new experience of getting to express himself through his appearance than fashion itself. he's still learning what he likes and how he wants to present himself

🪸 Sun and Moon love making Meryn laugh, as they don't actually laugh or smile by themself often. but tbf all of their expressions are super interesting to the mers

[augustheart]

more khaji da dialogue, these ones by recommendation of @astrid-goes-for-a-spin who said that the scarab-speak in blue beetle vol. 7 #26 is really good. which it is. here are my top moments:

here's kaji da saying (in response to jaime fretting about parasite knowing his identity and having all the powers of the posse) "we're in trouble."

i read this as kind of teasing. always love khaji referring to the scarab and jaime as a unit, and i like the return of the symbol used for the apostrophe being the same as the question mark symbol, making it so the actual word is spelled as "we?re."

above we have two examples of ipad baby khaji referencing pop culture and media absorbed through jaime! not the last time this will show up in this post. when asked for a plan B by jaime in that first panel khaji offers "kelly clarkson!" exclamation mark and all, and in the second khaji da says "try tuf-acting tinactin!" to complain about parasite's foot on jaime's face. this means dashes are another thing used synonymously with question marks in the reach language ("tuf-acting" is "tuf?acting").

(here's most likely the exact foot fungus medication commerical khaji da is referencing, btw--there are several tinactin commercials with madden that use this slogan, but this one seems to have aired in 2005, the most recent-to-writing-of-this-issue out of the three i could find recordings of, and also appears to have played on spike tv. which. yeah. jaime and paco would've been watching spike tv.)

possibly my favorite scarab dialogue in the entire issue--khaji saying "oh, hamburgers!" while jaime is faceplanting in the dirt as parasite offers to rip khaji out of him but let him live. khaji da once again remembering things from tv.

another cute thing. "let's paint his nails" about an unconscious parasite. once more i'll write out the direct translation of "let?s paint his nails" just for fun.

we'll close on the last thing khaji says in the issue--"to infinity and beyond!"

[bittasol]

The thinf you said about the mafia au and dynamics being unlocked is so true, another thing that I really liked about this chapter is the Opera/Ameri rivalry dynamic they have going and I find it really fun!! It's so different from what we're used to seeing from them (actually I don't remember if they've actually interacted that much in the original) (but them being rivals and fighting each other is so fun!!!! I love it)

YEAH even down to its bones the way characters are being presented is very different from the main series! Azz azz’s loyalty to Iruma taking multiple chapters, the age and manner in which Iruma meets Sullivan, Opera and Irumas dynamic being more sibling/partnerish than canon etc BUT it all feels true to the characters i think! Iruma still loves his family and is willing to do anything (even the impossible) to help them, love trio is still together with secrets between them, Kalego and Opera still have their beef)

THE OPERA AND AMERI DYNAMIC is sooo tasty omg…both are so protective (and a tad possessive) of Iruma! Plus they’ve both grown with him and protected him in the different eras of his childhood! It’ll be fun to see them squabble in the future. I’ve always compared their designs as two red/orangey demons with fuzzy ears, both strong and both people who are close to Iruma, so its extra fun to see them as rivals.

Mm yeah they’re sorta an underrated dynamic! Iruma kun has soo many characters to juggle, its easy to forget who and when characters meet. Thank you for the excuse to gather up their major interactions^^

Chapter 70: Walter Park

She’s in Opera’s group during the Walter park arc! They have fun playing dress up along with the misfit girls.

Chapter 81: Invincible Maiden

Ameri fights a mouse beast during the terrorist attack; Opera observes and compliments her bloodline ability.

When Ameri is discouraged, Opera encourages her, assures her shes quite strong with room to grow and even invites her to be a sort of assistant under them within the Sullivan household. I think this is an extremely high compliment! Opera’s a demon who’s been shown to be very protective of both Sullivan and Iruma, and who finds value and purpose in being able to serve them, so wanting Ameri to work with them shows a lot of respect and admiration toward her ability and person

(She turns down this request but then realizes this would mean she’d be around Iruma so she backtracks its very cute)

Chapter 143: Heartful Cooking Lesson

Opera teaches Iruma and Ameri how to cook after noticing they’re both terrible at it.

Chapter 167: The Sound of Anticipation

This one is small but I think its funny how they both set up to record the Misfits’s performance cuz they both love and support Iruma 110%! And Opera shuffling Ameri’s equipment over implies she’s got the best angle in the house, you could read this as a power move from them jeje.

Chapter 277: Opera-Sensei

When Opera becomes a teacher, they go around the school and greet everyone including Ameri. Ameri’s super excited, and because she values Opera’s strength, asks them to train the student council given they have time for it. I think this is such a sweet example of Ameri’s character; She’s strong, ambitious enough to ask for extra (hard) training, thoughtful enough to value their time and ask in a way thats not demanding. I think it also speaks of her respect toward Opera, who could theoretically be a poor teacher considering they’re new, that she trusts in them so much!

I’m sure theres more tiny bits of them but it’s been a while since I’ve properly read or watched iruma kun.

My thought process is a little scattered but I did wanna mention that I think these two would meet and be good buddies even without Iruma kun’s presence in their lives! Sullivan being the head of Babyls, and Ameri being a top student as well as a child of a 13 crown, I dunno I feel like they would have ended up training together at some point anyway. Probably not with Opera as an offical Babyls teacher, considering they only become one to keep an eye on Iruma, but in some universe where Iruma isnt in the picture and Ameri reaches for the Demon King’s seat yk? a private lesson or two!

Cannot say the same for Mafia AU tho… Iruma’s the reason those two are doing what they’re doing, and I think it’ll be up to him to get them to get along lol.

[antimony-medusa]

As we all engage with the Egg arc on QSMP, I know we're all having a fun time talking about how emotionally devastating it all is, but I have seen some concerning takes about this, so I want to also reiterate that it is fiction. It's not real.

You can have real emotions about fiction (talk to any D&D player whos run a long campaign about this), but it is essentially fake, it is something you can box up and put away. And if you think you can't tell the difference between a fictional roleplay and real life child death, you need to step away.

Cause like, I have been seeing people comparing egg deaths to real life tragedies, and like. Guys. That's just offensively disrespectful. I do not want Chayanne to die. I'm team "storm heaven and get all the eggs back". I want the happy dragon ending. I have also had real life children die in my life and equating a pixel egg despawning to that makes me actually mad. We can have fun with it but this is fiction and you need to be clear to yourself that it is fiction. The QSMP admins are not "responsible to give you a happy ending" because it is essentially not real, they are ethically responsible for how they treat people in the real world (the players and the admins) not for what happens in the story they are telling.

There are two aspects of this that are important. The first is the most basic. Fiction is not real. It's lies we tell ourselves recreationally. No real people were harmed. No one actually died. The egg's admins are fine and now playing league of legends on stream. You can have real emotions about fiction, but you can also take comfort in the fact that the bad thing didn't actually happen. This allows you to engage with topics that you would never want to happen in real life (horror media, for example), in an entertaining way. Fiction is a safe spot to explore really concerning topics, whether that's something you're afraid of, something that has happened to you, or something that you'd never want to see happen in real life but it scratches that brain itch. And that isn't intended to say that you have to be comfortable with every topic in fiction. Suicide themes even in fiction are too close to real life for me, so I stay away from them. You get to set your own comfort levels with what fiction you're comfortable with. And that leads into my second point. The essense of fiction is that you are opting into it. Except in vanishingly rare cases, if you are engaging with something fictional, you are giving ongoing consent to engaging with the story by continuing to watch/read/listen to it. At any point you can tap out and step away, back into real life. You have the power to control your experience and say "yes I am watching this" or "no I do not want to engage with this actually". You can take the headphones off. You are an active player in how you deal with the fictional story, and if it gets too much for you, you get to step away. You get to write fanfiction and it is just as real as the original. If someone is dying in real life, no amount of blocked terms and telling your friends not to discuss it is going to keep it from happening. It is inescapable. It happens to you, it is enacted on you, you are a passive figure and you have no control. The only thing you have a control over is how you react to it, and this is why a huge element of grief is the powerlessness.

You have power over fiction. You can opt out of it. And if you can't tell the difference between a fake story and real events, a) you need to do work on that, because there is a lot of really upsetting content in fiction that is going to fuck you up, b) you need to step away from the fake story that is doing harm to you, and use that power that fiction gives you to opt out of it. Block terms. Unfollow people. Go do something in real life. Fiction is not real.

[alltimefail-sims]

I reread your post about how Moonwood Mill and Granite Falls could be connected, and I would be really interested to hear how you actually use Granite Falls in your game! For example, what lots do you put there and how do you play with it?

I recently downloaded a mod that makes Granite Falls liveable and I am hoping to incorporate it into my occult gameplay.

Thanks for all the posts you've made so far about your occult lore. I love reading about it!

Hi friend, I'm so sorry I took forever to get around to answering this! I haven't updated my mods or anything in a minute so I couldn't pop into my occult save to take specific screenshots (for fear of corrupting it), but I'll do my best to illustrate how I arrange it!

As you can see, I go with a pretty simple layout. I think werewolves, especially those in the Moonwood Collective, are no-frills when it comes to their living arrangements - it's really more about functionality and community than anything, and this world lends to that vibe so effectively.

Little bit about my lots:

The National Park: Because Moonwood Mill doesn't have a National Park and I think a core tenant of the Collective is environmentalism, I maintained the lot type but renamed it "Moonwood Falls." It acts as the divider between Moonwood Collective Territory and Wildfang territory - once you pass completely through it you'll see a trail that'll lead you directly to the Moonwood Commune if you follow it. I talked about it in a previous post, but one of The Collective's main duties is watching over the national park lands that are still left in Moonwood Mill, not just for the sake of environmentalism but also to keep threats at bay that might be traveling through. Also there are resources for herbalism that are easier to access on this type of lot, so I keep it for practical reasons as well!

Residential Rentals x3: The members of the Collective live simply and in close quarters to each other. The number of cabins range from lot to lot, but they were all built by hand by members of the collective and mostly serve the practical purposes of shelter during unpredictable weather and spaces to rest. Members of the Collective are not hanging around their houses all day, they're not watching TV or playing video games, they're all usually outdoors and almost always congregating together (big emphasis on community). The wolf family I play with primarily in this particular save lives in one of the cabins by the Volkov residence. Note: I haven't converted these to residential rentals yet in-game, but now that we have that feature I intend to! Before they were just residential lots that I would have multiple sims live on!

Community Space: This space is primarily a community garden and is the epicenter for the day-to-day activities that the members in the Collective engage in. Aside from gardening there are washtubs and clotheslines, a space to have communal meals and meetings (I imagine members of the Collective share resources more than not), various outdoor activities for kids and teens to engage in**, and even some sales tables. It's a skill-building/learning space, but it's also a fun space to build community and friendships. I kind of think of this space as the Collective's equivalent to the bar the Wildfangs congregate at. If you were to stumble upon the Collective's commune or visit as a guest, this is the first place you would be directed to. Lastly, I have a small "Medical" cabin set up on this space as well that obviously serves no in-game function other than housing restrooms. That being said, it appeases my personal lore that normal doctors would have 0 clue about how to treat a werewolf and their specific ailments (not to mention a werewolf from a pack like the Collective who has their own beliefs and methods on healing/treatments for their kind anyway) so a space such as this would be a necessity for any wolf pack.

The Volkov Residence: with Kristopher being the alpha, it only makes sense that the Volkov family home would be located in Granite Falls at the center of the commune, easily accessible from any part of the property. Although it's a large lot, again that's for a practical reason: I imagine a lot of the livestock and valuable resources are guarded by the alpha, so much of the lot's space is actually dedicated to those things. Kristopher, like the rest of the pack, lives quite simply and values practicality and inner peace above all. There are two interesting elements that set the alpha's house apart, however. First is a lookout tower, and second is the caging cellar*** beneath his home. Yes, a caging cellar is what it sounds like: it's a basement deep underground with barred enclosures that serve as dedicated spaces for "new turns," especially those that are particularly out of control of their bodies, or for particularly vicious/violent wolves that stumble across the commune's property - they are usually wolves without a pack, but occasionally Rory will have to come bail a Wildfang out lol. Needless to say this is one of many points of contention between Rory and Kristopher, but the wolves who find themselves in containment are not being punished: it's supposed to be a safety measure, and it's only utilized when necessary (but yes when you think about it, it's absolutely an ethical nightmare lmao).

** I have very convoluted lore about young wolves and schooling! The very brief overview is young children (newborn - kindergarten basically) do not go to traditional school environments and learn their basics from the adults around them at the community space (very hands-on learning style, like a non-traditional nature-based schooling). As they age, they do eventually go into town to receive their "formal" education alongside human peers, but there are still certain mandated lessons that are wolf-specific that they have to learn on the commune. Basically the "traditional" school acts as a part-time co-op where wolf children (1st grade to 12th grade, essentially) go to learn the things they cannot learn from the Collective (arithmetic/reading/writing/history/etc. you get it). It's funny because I'm sure most of their public school, non-wolf peers think they're a part of like a creepy religious cult or something lmao but they just can't have some teenage werewolf boy in the same gym class as a normie human unless they want an accident to happen, ya know?

*** Part of the contention with the caging cellars is actually rooted in the town's history with them - especially as it relates to anti-wolf hysteria and an uptick in hunters. As such, it's not unusual for them to be found in basements of some of the older houses in Moonwood Mill. Most of the younger locals have no idea what purpose they serve/served other than being lowkey creepy, but the older residents know what's up. In modern day, most people had theirs removed, not seeing a need for industrial cages in their basements lmao. HOWEVER, in my occult save, I have a headcanon that Celene López lives with her grandparents who are VERY educated in werewolf lore and although they're not against the wolves they do not trust them fully, so they still have a caging cellar in their basement... just in case! I have a whole storyline that I won't get into haha: I'll just say Lou became very familiar with that space when he transformed into a wolf. If you're curious about the details, feel free to ask!

Anyway, whew that was a lot but I think that just about covers it! As always, thank you for asking about this - I'm always happy to talk about this stuff, I just hate that it took me forever to get back to you! Hopefully it was worth the wait, and could help you or inspire you in some way as you build up your own wolf lore! I'm always curious to hear your thoughts about how you'd lay out Granite Falls as well, so feel free to share if you're so inclined. <3

+ For those who just read all this and have no idea what I'm on about, this ask piggybacks off of a previous ask on my werewolf lore which can be found here!

[naturepointstheway]

2008 Wellington Non-Replica Cats here we go

Gather around, everyone, while I pull out my souvenir programme from 2008 Cats I still have from this production way back yonks ago. Feel free to partake in some snacks! There will be plenty of photos from the brochure, hence putting them under a "read more".

Okay, so looking through this production's cast list, I see that there were pretty much the whole cast you'd expect (we had a Plato rather than Admetus, for example), plus some OCs sprinkled in there as well, which I like! The Growltiger sequence was clearly still in there, as there's a Griddlebone for example. One thing I really love is that they cast a very old (I think retired, or close to) actor as Old Deuteronomy which makes sense to me, because he is supposed to be an old cat (I think the actor was in his mid-sixties at least). Ditto for Gus as well, also of a similar age to the actor who played Old Deut, which I love for this cast, and also it makes sense for them to be played by older people, considering they are supposed to be on the older side of life.

There was a separate Quaxo character from Mistoffelees as well, and also kept the Exotica character from the 1998 movie as well.

OCs created (names only, sadly) include Victor, Johnny, Isis, Savannah, Rocket, Anoushka, and Garbo.

Okay enough rambles, on to the photos I took on my phone from the brochure!

Yes, that is Munkustrap, and honestly love his wig--very wild, very maine coon ears in there. Interesting they gave him leopard spots--maybe Jenny gave him those for him to wear for the night? I actually don't mind they gave him some leopard spots here, as it makes him look a lot more like Tugger as well, selling that whole Munk and Tugger are brothers thing even more.

Speaking of our favourite rock star cat...

That leather costume. Umph. My poor bisexual heart. I love the extra floof at his ankles (I think those are leg warmers). This Tugger, from what I remember, gave me very John Partridge's Tugger vibes, which I wholly approve of. Victoria has called shotgun for the space between his legs, and an OC (I think) cat is clawing her way up his thigh which, mood. Yes. Electra is the one that did the screaming at the end of his song (the one stretching up to him, wearing that white-ish unitard.

Griddlebone and Growltiger (I think)!

This Macavity fucks, and I remember his costumed was sparkly as fuck. Practically was in a sparkle-off competition with Mistoffelees in terms of sparkly costumes. I can absolutely see why Bomba wanted this Macavity inside her NOW.

Here's the one and only Grizabella; my favourite costume out of this non-replica Cats, I have to say.

Found a Teazer lurking at the beginning of the brochure, and I love her makeup, which is definitely very much based on the 1998 film Teazer's makeup. I love it!

I think this is supposed to be Misto, and they're adorable, especially with the makeup (which is why I'm pegging them as likely to be our favourite magical sparkly boy, as that looks very similar to Jacob's makeup in the 1998 movie.)

A Mungo has been spotted, looking cute as all get out. He absolutely uses his cute face to fool people into thinking he would never, ever steal or cause a ruckus no way he absolutely knows nothing about that Ming vase or the winter vest he stole from the humans' drawers. That was definitely another cat that looked just like him and just happened (impossible as it seems) to have a name very similar to his.

Old Deut looks very cuddly I want to snuggle him.

Munkustrap would like to have the spotlight for a bit in the middle of Bustopher's song. For some reason I keep thinking the cat next to him over his right shoulder is wearing a superhero outfit, and now all I can think of is either Teazer or Jerrie (looks like one of them) trying to convince Munkustrap they cause ruckus because they're superheroes dammit! Munk is having the fucking time of his life and I'm here for it! Let the stressed out junkyard dad have some fun and this song absolutely Brings Joy for him. Bless this Munk.

First page of a two-page spread from what seems to be The Naming of Cats. One of my favourite things is how some of the wigs are very based on the original Broadway wigs and I'm a thousand percent HERE for this. I LOVE wild wigs that you sometimes see in other productions too, especially in bootlegs from earlier productions from the eighties/early nineties. I see one of the psychic twins (Tanto I believe) with their unmistakeable wig, and a sparkly Misto behind whom I THINK is Jemima (1980s style wig), and Victoria is also very easy to recognise here too with her white wig and unitard.

Second page of the two-page spread from what is likely Naming of Cats. I can very easily spot Tugger right at the back at top left corner, and there's a Jenny over near the right top corner too (very bright orange stripes. We're talking neon here!)

First page of a two-page spread from the Jellicle Ball, everyone looking fab there; I believe I spotted a Tugger again (yep there he is at the far left), a Victoria, and what might be Quaxo right at the back there in the tuxedo costume.

Second page of a two-page spread from the Jellicle Ball, and oh hi Misto there you are looking all cryptid and mysterious way up on your lonesome in the back. I think I finally spotted Alonzo at the bottom right corner (his patterns suggest he could be Alonzo) too.

Aaand that's all! Hope you enjoyed this little journey through my very old souvenir programme from a non-replica Cats performance in Wellington, NZ in 2008. May your conjuring turns never falter and may you always meditate on your secret third name.

Name...

name...

name...

[genericpuff]

saw a post criticizing lore rekindled a while back, and one of the points made was "it's unfair to rachel that someone else can profit off and make money off her work"

do you profit off lore rekindled??? i don't remember if you ever said that you were monetizing lore rekindled, so i'm unsure where this piece of information came from

I literally do NOT profit off Rekindled in any way shape or form, it's a Tumblr comic that's free to read, zero subscriptions, paywalls, or ads.

I did just recently open a Patreon and apply my Twitch channel to become affiliate, but 1. my Patreon doesn't have any paid members yet , 2. my Patreon won't be offering rewards that limit the reading experience of Rekindled (it's gonna be like random doodles n junk), and 3. I haven't even streamed since I applied for Affiliate and people are watching the streams for art and lo-fi, not for any sort of exclusive reading experiences that wouldn't also be accessible on Tumblr (you just get to watch me slowly work on Rekindled while playing FF XIV LMAOO) All of these restrictions I have in place is to prevent exactly what folks assume or accuse me - profiting off Rachel's IP. At the end of the day I just wanna create an AU fanfic project, even if it's created out of disappointment for what could have been.

I *do* spend a few hundred a month though for my assistant. So I'm working on Rekindled completely at a loss, out of my own pocket. So in that regard, even if I were to monetize any part of Rekindled... it wouldn't be for my own profitable gain, I'd maybe be able to cover some of my assistant fees 🤣 (but that's just hypothetical food for thought, because as I said above, I don't want to monetize Rekindled because of the potentially legal and ethical issues in doing so. Making money is also just not why I'm making Rekindled because it's something I wanna just do for fun! Money complicates things, turns shit into a job :'0) And let's be real, in that hypothetical scenario, I don't think any money I could generate on my free to read Tumblr project would come anywhere close to threatening Rachel's bottom line 🤣

And this isn't to throw anyone under the bus but when people get suspicious of Rekindled profiting off LO, I can't help but think of the actual fans of LO selling handmade LO merch on Etsy and LO-style adoptables and other arts and crafts dedicated to their favorite comic. And I'm not gonna judge them for that, more power to 'em if people wanna buy their cool stuff (and some of it is really REALLY cool, like I wanna buy their stuff too LOL), I just think it's ironic that people separate the two because... I'm not a diehard fan? Or because Rekindled has gotten popular here. Beats me. All that "popularity" is still just a niche remake of a niche comic in a niche medium. It's not Spiderman Lotus levels of big 🤣 but I know it probably feels that big to people who are engaged with this fandom and spend a lot of time in it.

There's an opposite side of being a yes man that perpetuates similar behavior on the other side - when you come up with reasons to rag on someone just for the sake of it because you can't rationalize them NOT being the all 100% pulp of evil LMAO (and I see people do this even to Rachel and it's not fair imo, like people who use the Lolita thing as a way to accuse Rachel of being a legitimate pedophile? Like no, I don't think we should be normalizing serious accusations like that. I think she's just misinformed in a lot of ways at worst and suffering from dark romantasy porn brainrot at best LOL).

Like, as an example, I've also seen people claim stuff like I'm in the fan spaces telling people not to read LO and to read LR instead? Which like... why would I do that, LR isn't for the fans anyways and I don't gain anything by being a dick in their space 🤣 If my own readers are doing that, that's out of my hands (but respectfully don't do this please!!! there's a reason I don't use the standard LO hashtags and only stick to the anti ones!!!!) but again (and this is a big assumption so take with grains of salt) I think people just like to claim these things because they feel it's just naturally the right thing to do when someone who has opinions they don't like actually puts them into action. Because now they can't say shit like "well if you think you're so much smarter than Rachel why don't YOU write the story!" and "you don't know what it's like to manage a comic!" so they grapple onto whatever other argument they can even if it's misconstrued or entirely pulled out of thin air and not backed up with any legitimate evidence.

Their perspectives make sense to them. My perspective makes sense to me. I don't blame people for being suspicious when they see someone like me pour this much time and effort and money into a project like Rekindled, they assume it HAS to do with something they can rationalize from their own point of view, like wanting to "steal" Rachel's work or profit off it or take it for myself out of "jealousy".

Sorry to disappoint y'all with a boring answer, but I'm just someone who was once a huge fan of LO and couldn't let it go. I'm just someone who's way too hyperfixated, with a lot of passion for making comics and experience to match. I'd still be making it even if I didn't have an assistant. I'd still be making it even if I was stuck working with nothing but paper and pencil. Because I love making it and I love what it means to me, and I love that it makes other people feel the same way I do about it.

And that's really all I have to say on that.

[pippin-katz]

Reverse Character Bleed

Okay I wrote about this already, but it was on a reblog of a GIF set, so I decided to make its own post. I've decided to use a phrase to attempt to describe why Taylor and Nicholas' performances feel so different to watch.

I'm referring to it as reverse character bleed.

Character bleed is a term used to for when an actor subconsciously starts adopting behaviors and personality traits of the character they are playing. They don't do it intentionally. Sometimes when you spend so much time in the mindset of a character, it's a little difficult to turn it off completely. There are moments where you might find yourself thinking how the character would respond rather than how you would respond.

This is, again, subconscious. I'm not referring to a situation like an actor being asked what their favorite flavor of ice cream is, and in their head they think, "What would [x]'s favorite flavor be?" An easy example of what I am referring to would be their favorite color, because that changes over time for a lot of people anyway.

Say that your favorite color is yellow, but you're in a scenario where you are seeing the color blue a lot. You don't feel any sort of way about blue; you don't dislike it, but you don't like it either.

So, you are seeing blue everywhere. Maybe it's the color of your team's jersey, or the fabric you're working with, or paint you're using.

If you are enjoying the experience, you will likely develop a positive opinion of that color blue. This is because of the association of blue with the fun or happiness or excitement you felt during that experience. Obviously! Everyone knows about color association! But this can happen without realizing it until later, when someone asks you, "What's your favorite color?"

The thing about a lot opinions of this nature is that you don't typically spend a lot of time actually thinking about them on your own. You don't typically sit down for twenty minutes, pondering what your favorite color is in your head. Likes and dislikes, at least common ones, are typically better suited for conversations, not your internal dialogue (if you have that).

So, you probably were never randomly sitting around and had the thought, "I think my favorite color is blue instead of yellow."

But when someone asks you, instead of immediately responding with yellow, you pause to consider it. Because now you have another color that you associate strong, positive feelings with, that you did not even realize were there.

It's that subconsciousness that I'm referring to with character bleeding. Actors wouldn't notice until someone points it out. Think about how we can see similarities between Taylor and Alex, but Taylor seems to think they're nothing alike.

The interesting thing here is that this is not a case of character bleed. Character bleed would be Taylor and Nicholas adopting traits of Alex and Henry. But this is the reverse. It feels like Alex and Henry subconsciously adopted traits and behaviors from Taylor and Nicholas.

Now, what the hell do I mean by this? Let me talk you through it!

The best example of this reverse character bleed in my opinion is the scene of Henry holding Alex's hand when Alex asks for him to take a walk with him.

Time for the GIFs:

Taylor and Nicholas are close friends in real life.

When you are friends with someone, you care about them and their wellbeing. If they are upset, you want to comfort them. If they get hurt, you want to help them and do what you can to protect them from getting hurt whenever you're with them.

Take the adorable moment from their first GQ article where the journalist describes Taylor as "sinking into protective mode" when discussing Nicholas' injury.

As silly as this is to read, it's probably accurate!

It's in the past, but again, when someone you care about gets hurt, you want to protect them. It's natural to feel protective after the fact, especially if you weren't there to help.

Back in high school, my best friend and I were in theatre. There was a show that she did, that I didn't, and there was a small stunt that involved her character and dry ice. She had to crouch down in a box to look like she fell down a chute with the dry ice effect helping sell it.

Someone spilled the dry ice into the box, and my friend ended up touching it with her bare hands and her legs. She got burned, obviously, but no one did anything about it. The show kept going, and even though her character was practically done for the show, no one took her to the hospital or emergency room for the ice burns.

I was furious when I heard about it. If I had been there, I would have cussed out our director/teacher and fucking demanded that someone take her to the doctor. Fuck the show, ice burn from dry ice is no-joke. I still get angry whenever I think about it.

This is to say that Taylor having a noticeable reaction to the discussion of Nicholas' injury is completely realistic. He doesn't have a reason to get angry like I did for my friend, but he experiences the same worry/concern after the fact.

Caring for your friend's wellbeing includes their mental health, obviously. So, consider: Taylor and Nicholas are at an event together. For some reason, Taylor starts feeling anxious or nauseous. Nicholas is going to be worried about him. That's just a fact of friendship.

Somehow that real life connection makes Henry’s concern for Alex feel more genuine and sincere.

It's as though Alex and Henry subconsciously adopted traits and behaviors from Taylor and Nicholas, rather than the other way around. Reverse character bleed is the only way I can think to describe it.

Anyway, that's all! I'm really excited to see them together again in the sequel! 🩵

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this essay & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️

[archivalofsins]

As someone who has experienced both The Caligula Effect and Milgram, which Milgram characters do you consider most likely to be in the Go-Home Club and Musicians respectively?

Hm, this is a really difficult question...

Mostly because Milgram and the Caligula Effect franchise are different on very fundamental levels.

So, here's the short answer no spoilers or long explainations-

Musicians: Haruka, Shidou, Mahiru, Amane, Kotoko. Go Home Club: Yuno, Futa, Mu, Kazui, Mikoto.

As a bonus-

Aria: Jackalope μ (Mu)/Regret: Es

Long post with a lot of reasoning and other stuff beneath. Spoilers for the Caligula Effect games under the cut.

Now why is this difficult?

This is because Caligula Effect has a focus on rehabilitation and bettering oneself from their past experiences. As well as a focus on building better communication skills all while meeting people where they’re at and looking at one’s own actions more objectively.

While on the other hand Yamanaka has gone on record stating that Milgram isn’t about rehabilitation not only within the text itself but outside of it.

Amane's First Voice Drama

Don't make me laugh. I'm not your teacher at school; it isn't my goal to teach you things or guide you on the right path.

This can be taken as a bit of cheeky nod towards Caligula Effect something Amane's voice actress also worked in. Since that takes place within a school setting. It is still highlighting this is not that though.

Highlighting that once again guidance, learning from one's mistakes, and receiving the proper help to thrive is completely antithetical to Milgram's goals. Something that many people who have played Caligula Effect would recognize Yamanaka understands very well and is capable of portraying that sort of character growth in ways while still not always correct are far more kinder and encouraging of progress than Milgram will ever be.

Because this is Milgram; it's not about the characters finding closure or becoming better versions of themselves. It's about sin and judgment- Crime and punishment. Sinners and executioners. This is reiterated in the first novel to an extent as well.

Outside of that canon statement- Yamanka stated on the Milgram App early into the series that there are no connections between Milgram and Caligula Effect,

Source: Maristelina (MILGRAM Timeline Master Document)

It's a completely new world.

Side note it is very fun seeing the creator comments within that doc. My favorite of trial two these several for personal reasons- I will be analyzing these forever actually.

Really like how Deco just points out "I wanted to be loved like a cat" perfectly embodies Kazui's character. I love how with the discussion of Purge March it's the second time a prisoners ideology has been referred to so bluntly. The third one is just like yeah tell me the obvious one more time baby!

Also the way Deco highlights paying attention to the tone in It's Not My Fault is just really good too-

Like,

"Listen closely to the subtle inflections in the vocals."

This is something that has also been discussed when it comes to the musician covers of the their songs in Caligula Effect Overdose. It is something showcased very well in Stork's self-cover of Lovescope. Using him as the example here because he shares a voice actor with Shidou and I need to spread the cursed knowledge.

So, fans of Caligula Effect do have an unfair advantage when it comes to Milgram because they'd be more used to how Yamanaka and to an extent Deco create a narrative through the use of music.

Also these may be my favorites but all of the comments regarding the songs on the app are very informative and I would recommend giving them a look over if anyone has the time.

This is just turning into advertising this Google Doc at this point. Go read it. It's great and informative. I really like it. It's well put together and easy and sift through. Plus have multiple translations to compare and contrast allow me to get a clearer idea of the situation as someone who's always had an issue with comprehending text.

But back on track- Yamanaka told the Milgram audience from the beginning that these two franchises had nothing to do with one another. This may have been done in attempt to avoid others falling victim to the assumption that Milgram would handle these topics in similar ways to Caligula Effect.

However, a writer’s creations will always hold their own unique touch within them. Something that can give people a glimpse into how the creator presents a topic or what topics a creator may enjoy putting a spotlight on. Something that may not only be pertinent to one of their works but others as well.

Attentive observers may very will become acutely aware of a creators style and creative habits over time. The audience’s ability to do this with a creators work is ultimately what creates a fandom around those works. It may very well do the opposite at times too. Since at times people will understand the point that a creator is trying to make through their creation agree or disagree with that point and still hate the execution.

Or even that the point was illustrated at all depending on the viewers subjective biases.

In the old,

"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink."

way.

So, regardless of how unrelated to Milgram Deco's and Yamanaka's past works are. They'll always be related through the fact that they share creators alone despite what the creators have to say on the matter. That's just one of the pitfalls of creating a lot of things in general there are bound to be comparisons of those things.

For example like the way Hao wound up being compared to Salamander.

Things like this are going to happen. Comparisons of ones creations with their other ones or even to the works of others are going to continue to occur even if someone tries to get ahead of it which Yamanaka did that was him getting ahead of it.

Even still comparisons are things people commonly make as well as how many individuals engage with and analyze the information in front of them. So, yes regardless of how often one says certain things are not related to each other if they are in close proximity to one another connections will wind up being made. People are going to be able to relate it back to something said creator made in the past or even works completely unrelated to the creator that predate or succeed the work being compared.

However, it still matters and is a indisputable fact that these things are completely unrelated to one another and treating them as they could be would stop people from enjoying Milgram in the way it was intended to be enjoed.

It's still fun to think about despite that. I do believe it is important to note that the this is not the intended viewing experience. Like one of the creators bluntly stated so.

Just as Yamanaka also stated many of times that the cover songs have nothing to do with the story. They just pick whatever best suits the character or would be fun.

Source: Yamanaka's Marshmallow

Other fun things of note,

Either way, the prisoners covering these songs have nothing to do with their murders. It's a fun fanservice kind of like special tailored karaoke.

Yuno didn't decide to do what she did one day simply because she went and sung Vampire. This is a given no one is saying that's what occurred here. Yet, it's still fun to delve into what this says about the prisoners character in the same way people think,

"Hm I wonder what my favorite song says about me." It's just a neat thing.

No one's saying,

"Oh, because so and so covered this that means this is their crime."

However, once these songs have been related to the characters and franchise in some way people are going to want to think about why. Especially since Milgram is a series that's prone to having bursts of content and then none for long stretches of time.

Discussing the covers is just another way to lengthen the discussions fans can have around the series during said downtime.

Observable writing quirks/tendencies.

It's the same with discussing the Caligula Effect series.

Because the more one knows about Caligula Effect the easier it becomes to see the similarities between the characters within it and the ones within Milgram. Even if at times those similarities can be incredibly surface level.

Like got damn Yamanaka how many times are you going to create characters that are cops?

I don't care if Kazui may be lying about everything it's still like three times at most and two at best my guy. There's only two Caligula Games- In both someone is a cop. We're two for two. That's already two too many. If there's a third game chances are high there will be another cop.

Like at that point it's a bit of writing pattern despite how unrelated these things are. I'm just gonna throw that out there.

That's not even touching on both series using Es within their naming conventions. Caligula Effect taking place in Metaverse-Es and the prisoner guards within Milgram being referred to as Es. Both stories relying on music when it comes to displaying the mentalities of certain characters.

Given all of those points, it's a little unsurprising Caligula Effect would have characters on both sides of its cast that would be reminiscent of the prisoners in some way to those familiar with Milgram.

For example Shogo displays his regret similarly to how Kazui does. Something that leads me to speculate that to an extent the suicide framing of his sin is a projection of Shogo's storyline onto Kazui's character. Since that's a part of his narrative.

So, when I run into the idea of any of the prisoners murders not being direct murders that are a consequence of their mentalities and choices. Something that Jackalope blatantly tells the viewer,

"The fact of having committed murder in their lives is a direct result from the thoughts each espoused and their individual environments."

Yet, instead their murders are indirect deaths or suicides caused through negligence/just their everyday mannerisms. As well as when the prisoners situations are presented as very abstract themes that wouldn't count as murder unless someone had a very serious issue with conflating minor inconveniences to extreme grievances.

I just want to do some equivalent of this-

Because that's just these games really. I even went as far as to describe Caligula Effect as the Barney version of Milgram to a friend. It's like babies first interaction with cruelty and the concept of people being assholes.

It's never really as extreme as Milgram can get except when it comes to Overdose exclusive characters. Still all the games manage to get the point across. This is why I find it very easy to find comparisons between the prisoners and the Caligula cast.

The easiest characters to make comparisons to off the top of my head being #QP and Mahiru. A more difficult to catch one in my opinion would be the similarities between Machina and Shidou- Since from what I have heard Shidou tends to be compared to Doktor more so.

I believe this is because like with Kazui it's really easy to compare the prisoners to other characters they seem to share a profession with. It just gives a good jumping off point to work from.

I tend to lean more towards comparing him to Machina because both his first glitched voice line and Triage put on full display to me that his first run in with death may have been the death of his family members later in life. So much later in fact that he couldn't even fully understand what he was having people reckon with until it happened to him. The fact that Shidou is like this from the start ultimately leaves an avenue for Kotoko's stance to have some credibility regardless off if she was found Guilty from the jump or not.

Since Shidou is a walking example of how sometimes the only way for certain people to learn that what they're doing is wrong is by experiencing it for themselves.

"[cackling] Not dead... Yeah, she's definitely not dead... I finally understand the value of what I've been robbing people of."

This comparisons can wind up lead to relating Shidou to Sasara a member of the Go Home Club who's heavily associated if not thematically paired with Machina. Someone else who despite being the eldest in 2 is just now coming to terms to death as she has to come to terms with the end of her life. Very similarly to Shidou she doesn't really grasp it before this because she didn't really have to face it head on in this way before and thought very little of it.

It's not as though she has any regrets either. Her life is fine. In fact the only reason she's here is because she just wanted to live her life over. Not because she regretted anything in particular it was just so good she wanted to do it again.

In contrast Machina has been reckoning with the concept of death from a far younger age. It's implied that he quite recently lost a family member to it and has been stricken with a fear of death since that incident. Wishing to become a cyborg in order to avoid it and not being able to reckon with the fact with every breath taken we all move ever closer to our own inevitable demise.

His song having choice Shidou esque lines such as-

"I wished for those days to remain idyllic. I wished for the power to protect them. Even if it costs me everything I have."

And the remix starting with the repeated spiraling line of-

"I can't stand it, I can't stand it, I can't stand it. I can't stand it, I can't stand it, I can't stand it. I can't stand it, I can't stand it- I can't stand it what a tragedy it is to be doomed to death at birth."

While the regular version begins with,

"Once you draw your last remaining breath even memories you have clung to will scatter into ash. As I realize what a curse a beating heart is the mourners gather and laugh at a hollow coffin."

Machina is at the most of middle school age. This kid was just going through it. Don't believe me here's what the game said on it outside of the song,

In his first year of middle school, his grandmother passed, profoundly impacting his views on mortality.

Machina was not particularly close with his grandmother. Though she spoiled him as a child, he began talking to her less and less as he grew into an adolescent. She passed soon thereafter, marking the first time an immediate relative had died.

Machina became so afraid of death that he couldn't even breath without being in mortal terror of his own inevitable decay at the hands of death itself.

As he continued to study death, he learned about a structure in human cells known as "telomeres."

Telomeres are shortened every time a cell divides. Once they fall below a critical limit, new cells can no longer form, spelling death.

In other words, even just the mere act of existence marches one toward an inexorable end.

It's a simple fact, really. No matter how meaningfully one lives, how happy they are, or how carefully they avoid harm and injury, as long as their cells continue to divide, they too will die. Upon realizing that human life was but a one-way ticket with a final destination, Machina fell into the depths of despair.

Though he knew it was a fool's errand, he would hold his breath and try to stay in bed, living life with as little activity as possible in hopes it would keep death at bay, if even slightly.

He stopped going to school, and was beset by panic attacks each night.

I want to feel “alive”, is it ok if I breathe?

The answer for Machina was,

No, it's not.

Because to breath is to die a million small deaths as your cells divide as though counting down to the end of your lifespan. Like a cursed hourglass full of cells instead of sand.

Which wouldn't be applicable to any other thing ever actually,

Nope not one thing this can be applied to.

A times it's pretty easy to draw comparisons between these two series. Even outside of the fact both creators Milgram worked on these games. Deco making the song Love Scope for Stork in Caligula Effect Overdose.

Whether the character the prisoners are compared to is a musician or a Go Home Club member matters very little. This is because within Caligula the Go Home Club Members and the Musicians generally parallel each other in some ways anyhow. So comparing a prisoners to any of them will inevitably lead to comparing them to someone else in the series.

Plus, the cast in Caligula tends to be visually paired off in a way that helps that stand out more. As well as in ways that most Milgram fans would be familiar with. Such as youngest and oldest which is the case with Sasara and Machina.

However, Milgram fans should be familiar with this since it’s used again in Milgram with Kazui and Amane.

In Caligula Effect Yamanaka uses the juxtaposition of these characters ages to discuss the concept and fear of death. Something that does wonders as it highlights how someone at the end of their life displays their fear of death by trying to rush towards it as though that gives them anymore control over it occurring while someone younger will try to avoid it even if that avoidance hinders them from truly living.

In either case the fear is still there and very real. If not incredibly debilitating in some or most ways.

Due to the nature of Caligula Effect where there are no wrong parties only wrongs being done.

Don't get me wrong there are some objectively in the wrong parties within the narrative. In fact every character here is objectively wrong at some point. I believe some people like to trick themselves into believing the characters in Caligula Effect Overdose were the worst of them and the ones in two are so much better actually.

Yet, the ones within two are also terrible. They're just tentatively politically correct while being terrible.

Which is a very superficial way to define if someone is a bad person. On top of that they don't remain politically correct at all times either.

Everyone's Bad Here

Firstly this series is named Caligula Effect. The Caligula Effect is a term used in Japan to describe the desire to do something that is forbidden or socially unacceptable.

Source: Den Faminico Gamer interview with The Caligula Effect producer Takuya Yamanaka (The DigiLab)

Given that it should be no surprise that none of the behaviors or mannerisms displayed in either of these games are meant to be viewed a admirable or healthy. The character discussed in this answer is from Caligula Effect Overdose though.

So let's turn it back to the second games cast real quick. Remember how in the previous segment I stated they don't remain politically correct. Well that's because some of them are really ableist which I've never seen discussed outside of Doktor. I definitely believe it should be because like one of the Go Home Club members is ableist too.

Just blatantly. So, like actually...

This character literally tells the player yeah killing someone is better than letting them live with a possible physical disability. Like just blatantly agrees with Doktor. I guess they get a pass because internalized ableism is a thing though. Even if it's internalized it's still fucking ableism. I mean just because someone points it at themselves too doesn't make them better than any other fucking ableist- But okay.

This is the space to work on yourself this isn't about crime and punishment. This isn't about sin.

You know for me personally- if it's between using a mobility aid and being in the fucking ground... Um, ya know my pride ain't high enough to think the latter is better and more respectable. Call me ignorant but I'd rather be alive with some difficulties than dead.

This isn't the worst thing characters in Caligula Effect have done by the way.

Some of them are murderers too. Not just one of them multiple of them are murderers and attempted murderers. Yet, if we stay here all day talking about what murderers in the Caligula Effect series are forgivable in the eyes of the audience and which are not- I’m gonna end up writing a tangent that’s devolves into Marie is basically Eiji but a girl, more impoverished (Eiji was born into a finacially well off family his father was a lawyer with a law firm), different diagnosis (Eiji's issue is labeled as Psychopathy and Marie's Sociopathy in Caligula Effect Overdose) didn’t get kidnapped (had abusive family instead barring her grandma who was not abusive canonically), and happened to get a redemption arc (because she wasn't killed by a Final Destination style rube goldberg machine of shenanigans out of the clear blue fucking sky that wound up saving the life of another character that fell off a twenty story building).

I feel like I have the right to be mad actually.

Oh while also not having ableism imposed upon her characterization in a way that demonized and vilified her. She got hit with the we need to put you out off your misery ableism not the we need to spare ourselves from the misery of knowing people like you exist ableism. So, we're going to frame this as though there's something uniquely evil and fucked up about you actually and everyone else here is super normal. In fact some of them could tell you were evil just from the look in your eyes. You had the eyes of a snake not a normal person.

Oh, but it gets worse.

Marie canonically killed multiple people, abducted others, locked the first Go Home Club in a room for three days at a point only giving them cough drops before giving them drugged food-

Star here! Something to be noted; when this first happened, Gunsli enjoyed Marie doing this-

Gunsli : That is true when this first happened this was fine I very much enjoyed it. I was all for it really. That was before listening to people defend or outright ignore the things she did because,

"She was always really good deep down. I always knew it! Because I'm a great judge of character and I could never like an evil fictional character because what would that say about me? My fragile ego wouldn't be able to take it. I'd be crushed and it would be the works fault for tricking me. So she needs to be good because that's the only way for me to know I'm good."

Look past your ego it's really never that deep.

Liking an evil character- A fictional construct is fine as long as that like is not negatively impacting reality. Put the mirror down. Sometimes a character being bad and a person liking said character anyway doesn't reflect on that person at all unless they make it reflect on them which is their choice to.

Also, like... No she wasn't clearly good deep down, no one saw that ahead of time, most fans didn't even play these games in order. Or read the light novel where it basically states people saying your past doesn't matter are ignorant.

Back to the other things she did not that we've touched on that light novel- Attempted to push the one person who trusted her down a flight of stairs, framed another person that trusted her misleading their friends into believing they had betrayed them. Ruined countless friendships for her personal enjoyment in and outside of Mobius. She was doing that like she was trying to win the gold in shit starting. Marie was in that bitch like this when it came to instigating.

While Eiji, to the stories own admission, never kills anyone with his with his own hands. Now hold on before you start thinking what the hell- Eiji Biwasaka is still a terrible person too. He believes there's no way men and women can just be friends (wink-wink , nudge- nudge he texts this to the protagonist by the way). Is heavily implied to be in love with the protagonist in subtle ways like many characters in the series are. This isn't a crime just fun to note because if the protagonist takes the betray route and he's there he is genuinely upset. How do I know this?

I kept him alive because I wanted to see his reaction when I did it. Moving forward.

He's mostly upset that the protagonist didn't let him in on it which is funny and fair. Then genuinely enraged by the betrayal and is like you have to die now for pulling one over on him. Which again aww you- stay mad about it. He gets egregiously upset at the protagonist trying to get to know him on a deeper level and is acutely angered by criticism or being told what to do in any capacity.

Literally any form consequence for his actions he does not take kindly.

He tries to attack Kuchinashi. Almost hitting her with his catharsis weapon which is a whip. Similar to what a character within two does to one of the musicians but seemingly gets no flack for it. Like, um, well- Ya know that character is not Eiji. Certainly the character is still great in their own ways but got damn Eiji Biwasaka was something else. That man was trash. Absolute garbage and I am dumpster diving. You got me fucked up if you think I wasn't there for it.

It was amazing. He did not wanna change. He was never going to change. He leaves because he didn't want to change.

He literally removes himself from the narrative and team because the protagonist tries to hold him accountable. Then still somehow manages to get where the plot is. Because he was that competent. Certainly he had to die in a Final Destination esque way nothing else could've killed him. Unimportant side note here he's trying to murder someone within Mobius. Even though that person is a terrible piece of shit he is still trying to kill them.

Not because they're terrible but because leaving them alive may end up causing him trouble in the long run.

This is because he blackmailed this other party into killing someone that was taking Eiji to court for embezzling from the elderly (the mother of the man taking him to court) and the disabled (not the mother he had just been embezzling for a while). He did this even though everything for the case was gathered and he'd be facing prison time regardless. He just did that shit as a fuck you on the way out because he could. It did not serve him in any way.

How did he blackmail this guy well by bringing up his insanity plea was in fact bullshit and he could hypothetically have this man retried or that plea brought under scrutiny. Because as I mentioned before this man was acquitted and then continued to do the same shit. So, don't get it twisted Eiji and Marie are no better or worse than each other.

However, in contrast to Marie who is indulged throughout all of the first game or you can't even continue her character story Eiji is actively stopped from killing this guy. A guy who physically assaulted a person in an underground idol group with a baseball bat blinding her.

Something that led to her suicide later.

Which might I note! Eiji is blamed for that suicide not the guy who fucking did the assault! No, not him. Eiji's blamed for her suicide because he did his job as a lawyer and got this guy acquitted on a plea of insanity. Then to add insult to injury the guy who did the assault then still behaves in a way that showcases he will continue to be this way and do those things again to other idols.

Is given that same excuse again like,

"No, he's clearly mentally unwell."

Okay he's clearly mentally unwell- Eiji should have known better though. He's just evil. He doesn't need help fuck that guy!

Oh, Marie do you need a hand? Do need a special little safe space in Mobius to work out all your issues. Here you go μ (Mu) giftwrapped it for you too sweetie. You want brand new adoptive parents- Don't worry that's included take all the time you need!

The difference between how I treat my angelic daughter versus my rat bastard son.

The difference in writing does show Yamanaka's development as a scenario writer and personal growth when it comes to portraying these issues. However it is literally the difference between night and day.

Also both of these people are Go Home Club members.

I think I may have failed to mention that before. I just really wanted people to grasp the severity of their actions before I mentioned it really. These are your teammates. The people you're trying to get home with.

Other things done by teammates include but aren't limited too,

Fatphobia, transphobia, doxing, harassment, sexual harassment, negligence resulting in death, child abandonment/neglect, assault, cyber terrorism (which the protagonist of one can take part in), classism, sexism (misandry), identity theft, insurgency, stalking, false imprisonment, murder, attempted murder, generally be hateful spiteful people with the strongest hater energy on earth at times, literally being musicians before Go Home Club Members (which isn't a crime but counts towards the point here and occurred twice).

Marie, however, is essentially is given dissociative identity disorder by virtue of a new set of memories being created for her- ones separated from her trauma and it's subsequent effects. She also, as mentioned in this post, was given a pocket dimension so she could have the space and time to grow independently from that trauma.

This pocket dimension is a smaller subsect of Mobius and relies on Marie's existence within it to function.

It is also possible to get an alternative ending of and get out of this micro-mobius earlier by killing her. This is one of the endings I decided to get. So, from here we know that the protagonists of the Caligula Effect games can commit murder, commit cyber terrorism that ends up destroying the entire world at most and on the smallest scale Japan if the player choses to, betray all of their teammates that they make over the course of the game very similarly to what Marie does in one.

So, once again- I'm not faulting the grind I'm just stating the crimes.

All in order to make it clear to anyone reading this much that no one here is a good person. So it does not matter if some prisoners are Go Home Club members or musicians being on or the other does not make any prisoner better or worse. Everyone here is bad.

Go Home Club or Musician

Okay, so I bet some are wondering why I said all that. I must admit it was a very long way of getting to this point. However, I basically wanted to make it abundantly clear to anyone who comes across this that whether a character is Musician or part of the Go Home Club in Caligula Effect it does not equate to them being a good person.

Because the characters in Caligula Effect are not good people. They're not and they aren't meant to be.

The characters within the Caligula Effect series are individuals that have a lot of work to do on themselves. Who are in Mobius either by choice or due to the fact that they were suffering in reality/had regrets that they felt they could not change in the real world. They are all individuals who chose escapism over facing their issues head on and the series discusses the benefits and shortcomings of living that way.

Most if not all of them wound up in Mobius due to someone's misguided attempt in trying to help them.

I felt it was necessary to highlight hey the Go Home Club doesn't equal the heroes and the Musicians don't equate to the villains. They are just two groups in opposition of each other. There are people just as bad if not worse in both teams.

The only thing that decides whether someone will be in the Go Home Club or a Musician is their desire to go home.

If the character wants to go home or has doubts about Mobius in general they will fall into the Go Home Club category. If the character wants to stay in Mobius and believes full heartedly they can gain something from it even if they only plan to do that and then leave- That's a musician.

The musicians turned Go Home Club Members literally only become that later because they genuinely do want to go home and face those issues head on despite their doubts. This is one of the things that make it pretty clear that Caligula Effect is more so about rehabilitation and the many forms that can take.

So as much as I'd like to go this is who I'd like to be Musician's and Go Home Club members. The answer that I provided at the beginning of this is firmly rooted within this logic. Since we can see where the characters lie in regards to this based on how they engage with Milgram itself.

The characters have gone on record voicing their misgivings about Milgram or the fact that they are in favor of it. Some even going as far as blatantly stating that they want to go home or never want to leave.

Something that made this a lot easier to figure out once I looked at it from that angle. At least when it comes to answer this in a way that works off of Caligula Effect's own logic to some degree. This is why I highlighted that musicians do become go home club members.

Because it shows the possibility of switching between the two parties at ones discretion. Something the series plays around with itself in many ways.

So let's start with the Go Home Club prisoners. (And heads up, this section is being written up by @sinfulequity o/. Also as a heads up, I used Rochi's translations for the portal timelines and questionings!)

Yuno

Now Yuno starts off not minding being here. But even from the beginning, you can tell that she doesn't consider staying here permanently as an option

Es: [clears throat] It’s about the few days you’ve been tried as a prisoner by Milgram. Frankly speaking, how is it? Your life in prison. Yuno: Hmm, it’s surprisingly fun? I do have worries about how my family is doing, but… It’s kinda like one of those strange, personal experiences.  Es: Fun…is it? Yuno: That’s right. The other prisoners are all entertaining, we sound each other out on various things, and the vibe’s pretty nice as well. In such conditions, observing other people sure does make for great fun, you feel?

Due to the atmosphere, she is enjoying herself- but that changes in the interim between trial one and trial two alluded to in this portal timeline.

21/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday) Mu: Yuno. Don’t you have something to say to me? Yuno: Huh? To you? Me? ……ahh, uh? Your birthday, right? Happy birthday~ Mu: How mean… Since it’s my birthday, I really wish you’d said something before I had to come and tell you myself. Yuno: Right, right, I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful in future~ Later! Haha… things have become even more of a bother………so was that Mu-chan’s real personality, then? It’s probably because the guard did something, right?

By the time the second trial has started, whatever fun she gained from being in milgram has vanished. Only leaving her with the desire to get out of there. Even going so far as to question Es if they really believe that this environment is enjoyable any more.

Yuno: Well, if I were to say what I’m trying to say…it’s fucking bothersome. Es: … Yuno: I said so at the start, didn’t I? That punishing people outside of the law is boundless. And so I had no interest in Milgram. Es: Yes, I remember. You said that you would pay my judgment no mind and remain as you were. Yuno: Oh! That’s right! I’m happy you remembered. But, you know, I didn’t exactly hate it, Milgram. It’s nothing but weird people but it was warmer than my day-to-day life. Es: It did appear as though you were having fun. Yuno: Yes, it was fun! They may be murderers, but they’re interesting people! It puts me at ease, in a way, that we’re all people lacking in something. Es: You are saying that that changed and it’s my fault? Yuno: Yep! This situation’s bothersome-ness has won out over the fun so I am extremely cooled off. That is all. Es: … Yuno: And? Are you satisfied with this situation? Es: You all are murderers. In order to clarify your sins, this job is necessary. Milgram will make clear your essences and truths- Yuno: That. Does it not hold up unless you desperately repeat it back to yourself?

This is further explored in her answers for the second trial questioning. Outright stating that she's bored and wants to leave and passive aggressively implying that Milgram doesn't really have a true purpose, since the law already exists.

Q.03 Do you want to leave Milgram? Yuno: To be honest I’m bored of it now. I kinda want to leave already Q.19 Would you forgive the other prisoners? Yuno: That’s not something for one person to decide on their own Isn’t that what we have laws for?

It's a bit reminiscent of how she treats Mu now, right?

Futa

Most of his first voice drama is about wanting to get out of Milgram. If it isn't about that, then it's him getting flustered over how Es is pushing him. But here are a few specific moments

Es: What’s wrong? Are you so paralysed with fear that you can’t even stand up? Futa: Don’t mock me! Anyways, I won’t even accept that I’m a prisoner. Bringing me to this weird-ass place is a violation of my human rights! Es: You won’t accept that you’re a prisoner—is that so?  Futa: Of course I won’t! You’re confining and imprisoning an innocent human being here! That makes you so much more of a fucking criminal, doesn’t it? All of the other guys have just obediently accepted it for some reason, but you won’t fool me!

Futa: Hey, hey, hey, hey! Don’t go around evaluating people like you’re better than everyone else. Once I get outta here, I’m so gonna sue this place! You as well! You better not be thinking that you’ll get off scot-free! Es: Hmm~? Futa: I’ll never forgive you bad guys. And, this place is called Milgram—I’ll crush it down as well! 

After the interim and trial two's start, this desire to get out of Milgram has strengthened. For the reasons of being harassed by intrusive thoughts and taking a walloping from Kotoko.

Futa: Right…! It wasn’t just me alone who was ganging up on the person who died! There’s no way to know whose comments lead to their death! Es: That might be true. You might not be the only one who needs to be judged for this. But… Futa: Then – isn’t it weird that I’m the only one who has to go through all of this? Being locked up in a weird nonsensical prison, having to let some brat lecture me, being faced with eyes constantly judging me… And even if– even if the person I was picking on online died… I didn’t think they would die! I just thought that wrong things are wrong, and that a crime is a crime! You get that, don’t you? See? Aren’t we the same?

As he himself states, he finds it odd that he was the only person picked out of a large group to be in Milgram. He doesn't want to be here, he doesn't find this fair and he's at the limit of his sanity.

Mu

Mu is a tricky one, because you would think that she wants to stay here (outside of the initial anxiety in trial one)

Es: Hm… So that’s the case, is it? How’s life in Milgram then? Mu: I can’t even begin to describe it. I just want to hurry up and go back home!  Es: Oh? Why is that? You lot are given a decent amount of freedom here. We’re granting you the few indulgences which exist as well. In fact, even you’ve sent in a request asking for a crepe cake as well.  Mu: That’s… That’s true, but… And, I did eat the crepe cake, but… I just really wanna go home. Es: Hm. Mu: I’m sure that mummy and daddy are worried about me! [cries again] What even is this place? Why did you even have to bring me here? 

Mu: Yeah, it is. Prison guard, you’re human as well, so… I’ll do my best. I’ll figure out what kinda person you’re fond of. Even though you’re a sad case who talks to rabbits. [giggles] Es: That’s enough. Our conversations don’t have any flow to them, so that’s not gonna happen.  Mu: I’ll definitely return home. I’ll return home to mummy and daddy. So, if I get you to forgive me, I’ll be able to go back home for sure, right? Es: I don’t really know. Mu: Yeah… Actually… If I think about it, compared to those good-for-nothing police trying to catch me—someone who’s definitely not in the wrong—Milgram might just be better for me.

As we all can see, she states that maybe Milgram would be a better place for her to stay. At least in comparison to the prospect of being arrested and tried by the police. However, that is a coercive line of thinking, in and of itself. It's like being between a rock and a hard place. Furthermore, it implies that were the police not an issue, she'd immediately want to go back home again. And despite how comfortable she has gotten, Mu shows a good deal of concern towards how her parents are doing/worrying about her.

20/06/17 Shidou: ……do you mind if we talk? It seems you’ve relaxed a bit more recently, Kusunoki-kun. Mu: Eh…… yeah, definitely compared to the start…… just a bit. But I’m still scared…… we still don’t know what they might do to us. I want to go home soon…… I wonder what’s happening there…… Papa and Mama must be really worried…… Shidou: That’s good…… You were crying so much, so I was concerned for you.……yeah, I’m sure. Your family will definitely be worrying about you. I…… hope you can go back soon. Mu: Shidou-san…… did you come here to comfort me……? I’m sorry, I’d thought you were…… a scary person…… fufu.

03 - “It was really scary at the beginning, but now it’s nice and laid-back. And also… Haruka-kun is really nice! He’ll listen to anything I tell him.” 05 - “I’ve been starting to think that maybe I’d like to stay here forever… The outside world only ever does bad things to me. Though, I’d be a bit sad that I wouldn’t get to see papa and mama again…”

Mu: Ah, it’s been a while, Warden-san. – Things have gotten tough, haven’t they… Everyone seems to be struggling and the whole atmosphere feels tense because everyone’s struggling, it’s really troublesome. Es: Is that so? Mu: But as for me, I think Milgram has become a lot more comfortable! I know now that I can get whatever I want if I ask for it, so I don’t need to be so on edge anymore. Es: … Mu: You did say that you and Milgram are our allies, and maybe you were right all along!

She's ultimately carved a place for herself in Milgram. However, she also won't let the "setting" of Milgram affect how she considers herself.

Mu: Anyway… I think you would do good to forgive me. Then Haruka-kun will be safe too. Ah, actually, couldn’t you just forgive everyone? Then Kotoko-san won’t run amok, and you won’t have to think about all the difficult stuff. Es: That is… a very attractive proposal. Mu: Right? (giggles) Es: Abandoning all the thinking… How nice it would be if I could just do that. Mu: … If you ask me, I don’t really get why you don’t do it… Es: Because this is the role I’m playing. Mu: But the role was given to you, wasn’t it? You didn’t end up doing this because you wanted to, right? It’s not a dream you’ve had for a long time or anything, right, Warden-san? So there’s no need to let it tie you down. Couldn’t you just quit? Es: What are you… Mu: Warden-san, we call you “Warden” because that’s what you are, right? I was assigned to be a prisoner, but that doesn’t mean my heart will become just that of a “prisoner” too. After all, I’m still me.

Kazui

Funny- for someone who said he's going to take a wait and see approach, he comes straight out of the gate about his intent to find a way out to Es

Kazui: Really – sorry, sorry! I really had no intention of causing you harm, Warden-kun. I was simply looking to safely gather some information and assess the situation in this prison a little better. Es: Huh? Kazui: You see, depending on who they are, once someone is here it might be impossible for them to break out. I'm the oldest here, so naturally, I should be the one testing how far we can go against you.

He goes on to explain in his first questioning that he does have concerns about Milgram but doesn't want to express them.

Q.20 Do you have any complaints about your imprisonment? Kazui: I mean I do have some. But y’know, there’s some things about it that are so far removed from daily life. It’s easier to just not think too hard about it.

Progressing to trial two, Kazui is now disappointed in Milgram. It gave such high expectations for itself, and how it could judge crimes deemed fine by the law and-

Kazui: I haven’t forgiven myself… even if my lies are forgiven, it won’t resonate [with me]. It might just be both of these. All the lies I’ve told are tying me down. Ever since I was little, I’ve never truly opened myself to anyone. But in the end, people can’t be saved if they don’t [open up]. And by now, it’s gotten to a point where I can’t do it by myself anymore… (machinery whirrs, bell rings) Kazui: I did think Milgram would be able to force its way past that, though. Es: Is that an attempt at provocation? Kazui: You didn’t manage to reach my sin. Es: … Kazui: Even though I want you to… Milgram isn’t so great after all, is it?

-it really is better to be a let down, than let down, huh.

Mikoto

He has also stated from the start that he didn't want to be here. He has a job after all! He has rent to pay, obligations to meet- are you going to take care of it guard? You better, you know~

Es: Your name and age? Mikoto: Uh… Mikoto Kayano, 23. Wait, no! I’ve been wanting to talk to you this whole time, Warden-kun! Es: What is it? Make it short. Mikoto: Alright… when is this whole thing going to end? Es: Hah? Mikoto: No, it’s obvious, isn’t it?! Suddenly being dragged to a place like this, being told all this weird stuff about killers and all that– is this some kind of comedy? A reality TV show? One of those monitoring things? I’ve been holding on to that thought this whole time, and that was also the reason I tried to get along with the others, y'know – because that’ll look better on a TV show, right?! – but look, this is stretching out for way too long…! What’s up with this? Es: (sigh) You really still believe that? That Milgram is some kind of joke? Mikoto: I do! Of course I do! I mean… I really don’t remember anything of note. Even if you talk about sins or murderers– I don’t know about any of that! I’m just a normal worker at a company…

Mikoto: What’s with that?! Then aren’t you getting ahead of yourself, just labelling me a murderer like that? Es: I’m not. Milgram tells me that you did it. That’s enough for me. Mikoto: Why are you just blindly believing that? There’s no way of getting through to you…! (sigh) Anyway. I really don’t know anything! Nor have I killed anybody, or done anything bad! I was just living an ordinary, everyday life… and yet I got dragged into something this weird! (slams hands on the desk) Of course I want to think of all this as a joke…! Wouldn’t anyone? Es: (non-committal hum) Mikoto: I have my own life, you know? And I just got accepted into the company that I was aiming for… If I get fired, you’ll have to take responsibility for that.

Oh? What's that guard? He's being blamed for something he hasn't even done? For shame, for shame! Do you know how much this will hurt an innocent- no, an honest man?

04 - “It’s just so much that I don’t understand. Honestly. Why do I have to face this kind of fate…? I can’t do this.”

Mikoto: Usually, if you just laugh and pretend, things work out in the end, right? I’m pretty good at that. Making things work out to the best of my abilities. Es: Is that so… Mikoto: (laughs) …But… it’s not coming to an end. All of this. With things I’ve never even heard before, the whole ti— Es: … Mikoto: —the whole time… I have to make all these irritating experiences…!

He is stressed. He is reaching his limit. Can't you let off just a little? Isn't it unfair to punish someone for dreaming?

Es: In precise terms, it’s called dissociative identity disorder. Generally speaking, it refers to when a person experiences severe pain or stress, and a new personality is created to try and isolate the original personality from the resulting trauma. Mikoto: Yeah. I… probably come out to ease the stress Boku experiences. The fact that I come out for longer just means that Boku is constantly under extreme stress. Es: Stress… Namely the environment of Milgram, right? Mikoto: Right. Especially the fact that you judged against forgiving Boku is causing a lot of stress. That’s why he’s entrusting me with his heart.

Es: Even if it was you, John, who was in your body at the time – there’s no way for you to prove that. At the very least not in a way that would be accepted in court. It could still be judged that you’re pretending— Mikoto: You…!! What do you think? Es: I…? Mikoto: I’m the one who did it! Boku didn’t do it! You know that because of Milgram! I don’t care about the law, I want to know what you think!

Don't worry; he'll forgive you if you choose right- right?

And now for the Musician prisoners.

Haruka

This shouldn't be much of a surprise to anyone who's noticed, but he holds Milgram in high regard. It's the first place he's felt fully accepted. He's also started to learn how to connect with people in here- something he felt he always had difficulty with before

Es: I’m the prison guard. That just now is how I’ll educate you prisoners. I’m allowed to do so. [grabs Haruka] Got that? Listen carefully, prisoner number one. I’ll say it any number of times. I’m the prison guard. Understanding your true nature is my job. No matter what you are or whatever nasty work you’ve done, I’ll see all of it. Making judgments is my job. To say something like that… “You’ll be abandoned”? Don’t take me so lightly. Until I know your sins and complete my judgement as to whether they’re forgivable or unforgivable, you’re objects for me to govern(2) Don’t think I’ll let you escape.  Haruka: Prison guard… Es: Wait a second, Haruka. What are you smirking for? Haruka: Ah, I’m sorry. It must be creepy, right? Es: It does creep me out. [throws Haruka] Haruka: Ah, you’ve got it wrong… This is a strange thing to say, but it made me a bit happy. Es: Happy? Haruka: Yeah.  Es: What an odd thing to say, even if I’m the one saying that. Being imprisoned, being restrained, even being interrogated like this too, isn’t it natural to get angry in these kinds of situations? Hm… Now you mention it, you were always like that from the beginning. There’s a gloominess about you, but you’re immune to the chaos of Milgram itself. The point is, reacting like Futa and Mu would have made more sense. Haruka: That’s right. Futa got really angry. Scary—Ah, no, I mean, this is Milgram, isn’t it? I don’t really know what it’s for. But, having you, the prison guard, take some interest in me, listening to the various things I say… For some reason, it made me happy and such. Es: Hm.. Haruka: Even if that is your job. Even if it’s just to reveal the wrong things I’ve done.

Q.12 Tell us your hobby. Haruka: I like talking with the other prisoners Q.22 What do you think of the prison outfits? Haruka: They’re kind of relaxing Q.23 Is there anything you’d like to have sent to you there? Haruka: Not particularly Q.25 When you get out of here, where do you want to go? Haruka: I can’t think of anywhere

As Milgram continued to progress, Haruka gains more confidence. And has grown more comfortable in Milgram as a result. He states that he likes himself now. He doesn't want to leave this environment that has been so accommodating to him.

Es: You… Are you really Haruka Sakurai? Haruka: Eh? Wh-what are you saying? It is me! But everyone has been telling me that recently – that I’ve changed. Es: Yeah. When I think back to how you were trembling in fear back during the first trial… you sure have gotten bolder. Haruka: (giggles) Es: I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing though… Haruka: (laughs) If I’ve changed, then I’m glad! Up until now, I’ve always really hated myself, that’s why… Es: Hm? Haruka: A-ah, I think the reason I’ve become like this is because I had two benefactors, and one of them is you, Warden-san, so– Es: Huh? Haruka: I wanted to thank you, Warden-san! Es: Thank me? Haruka: Because you forgave me, Warden-san!

Q.01 Do you love yourself? Haruka: I think I like myself now Q.03 Do you want to leave Milgram? Haruka: I want to stay here forever Q.18 Which of the other prisoners is most like you? Haruka: Nobody They’re all amazing people

Well- maybe that'll change with this new verdict? Who's to say.

Shidou

Shidou wants one thing out of Milgram, and it's disgusting a death sentence. Preferably stamped and signed by a child (like Es).

Es: You sure are composed, aren’t you?  Shido: That’s just my personality. I just simply don’t think bad of it—this place, I mean.  Es: You mean, Milgram? Shido: Yeah, this place will put me to death.  Es: What? Shido: I might not get a golden opportunity like this again, so I’ll get straight to the point. Es… You decide how the prisoners will be dealt with, right?  Es: Yeah. That’s right. Shido: The death penalty is what I’m hoping for. Thank you in advance. 

However, with the ongoing events in Milgram, his viewpoint has become conflicted. He still wants to die, but he doesn't want others to. However, he's the closest thing to medical help that they have so he can't die just yet.

Shidou: Es-kun. I’ve killed a lot of people. Like I previously told you in the interrogation, I’ve killed for scientific reasons as well. So… Es: Are you about to beg me not to forgive you again? Even though I’ve already told you it’s no use? Shidou: That’s right. Please don’t forgive me… is what I would like to ask. Es: … Shidou: I… “I don’t want to be forgiven”. That feeling of mine remains the same. I need to be punished. I need to atone for my sins. I don’t think Milgram is in the right, but…! There is no better place than this to atone for my crimes. But… as long as Milgram continues like this… we won’t be able to save those who get injured if I don’t get forgiven!

Shidou: … That won’t do… I mustn’t be forgiven. Otherwise… the countless lives I’ve taken will never be paid back.  Es: Heh. If you’re really trying to give your life as compensation for the people you’ve killed, then there’s no reason to stay alive that will hold up, anyway.

Mahiru

It's not quite an intrinsic desire to stay in Milgram specifically. But what kind of girl wouldn't love a heart pounding adventure~? The mystery, the thrill- it's enough to make your heart burst!

Mahiru: [giggles] Just then, it felt like I was waiting for my date to arrive. Kinda made my heart flutter.  Es: I’m not exactly one to talk, but… I’m surprised that you can say such a thing despite being in this prison. Mahiru: Really~? But, this unfamiliar setting makes things super romantic, you know? Thanks to it, every day has been such a delight.

20/06/10 Futa: Hey, why are you acting so carefree all the time? You’re the oldest of the girls here, you should act it and deal with the others properly. Mahiru: Eh~? I’m acting carefree~? But maybe you’re right. I mean, I…… ah, let’s make this a quiz. Hey, Futa-kun. What do you think I like doing? Tick, tick, tick, tick…… Futa: Ahh, what even is this mood you’ve started. It’s annoying. Just tell me the answer already. Mahiru: Bzzt! Time’s up! The correct answer is “travelling” and “exciting things”~ You don’t get many chances at a lifestyle as exciting as this, right? So of course I’m going to be a bit carefree, ufufu~

She may have endured a lot of pain in the interim period between trial one and two, but that doesn't stop her from enjoying Milgram and the people in it! It just means that she thinks her way of loving is unforgivable now.

05 - “Spending my time at Milgram, I’ve really grown to love everyone here. I love you as well, Es-kun! But… me loving people can’t be forgiven, right…?”

Hey, tell her; what isn't she doing right?

Amane

Amane is very aware that Milgram isn't normal. But neither was her upbringing, so maybe she'll fit right in here? Maybe she'll fit in so much that the religion that she adheres to will fit like a glove. And if not... then that just makes this yet another trial from god, right?

Es: Geez… You’re quite something for your age. Even most adults would be at least a bit anxious in an environment like this. Amane: Eh? It’s not scary at all. After all, God is there to protect me! Es: In that aspect, you really are a child… Amane: Of course this is a rather unusual experience, but I am aware that it is something like a trial. I am certain that, once I have overcome this, I will be able to achieve further personal growth once more.

Amane: Hm. You may say it’s wrong, but isn’t what you are doing here a crime as well? Well, I do have something more important to me than the general law, so I will not try to judge(/look down on) you either, Warden-san. Es: Geez, you’re so stubborn– Amane: You see! I don’t hate Milgram, either. Rather than one single law, there are other standards to judge my sins by. And those are closer to my spirit, as well!  Es: Hmm. Amane: The standards that judge my sins are somewhere else – in my heart, my blood, my entire body, they are firmly rooted in all those places! Es: And within those standards, your murder was not a sin? Amane: Exactly! Es: I see. Amane: Ah, I am looking forward to it! Seeing whether your judgement will align with that of these higher standards! If that is the case, maybe Milgram would be the right world for us to live in, rather than the outside world! Milgram relies on your judgement, isn’t that right? In that case, you could become the mediator for a far more righteous world!!

Q.20 Do you have any complaints about your imprisonment? Amane: No, since this is a trial set for me by God.

Of course, being rejected and having those voices in her head between trial one and two wasn't helpful. But she's willing to talk this out. You've talked before and Amane is a kind girl, willing to give chances.

Amane: Warden. Es: What is it, Prisoner? Amane: We’ve been disappointed by you. Es: Hah? Amane: Even though we could sense the possibility of the new world we desire here in Milgram… and in you. Es: I don’t care how much you look down on me. I told you that won’t work. Amane: Furthermore, you may say incomprehensible things, such as us “not being forgiven”… Es: Oi. Amane: But we are generous. For now, let us make some time for a conversation with you. After all, our history is one that is built on dialogue.

Es: Shut your mouth…! I am the one casting the judgements here! Amane: Hehehe. And how does that set you apart from us? Es: … I told you to shut up… Listen to what I’m telling you. Amane: Hehe… This is nice. If the world you’re striving for is admirable in my eyes… That is to say…

Even to the sinners that deny her.

Kotoko

Kotoko has never really hid the fact that she wants to co-operate with Milgram- with Es. As someone who wants to work outside of the law, a place like Milgram is almost too good to be true.

Kotoko: Don’t space out, the interrogation isn't over. Es: A-ahh.. yeah. Kotoko: Eh, well, if you're done with it anyway, then it’s not a problem. Guard-san. No… Es. Don’t you want to join forces with me? I think the two of us would make good partners. Es: Join.. forces with you? Kotoko: With you, in the role of a prison guard, with information you gather from the interrogations, and me, in the role of a prisoner, with information I gather from my daily life here… Working together and sharing our findings. What do you think? Es: Stop joking around. Kotoko: Why? I think it’s quite a good bargain. Look, you can view the incident with Kayano Mikoto as a free trial-

Kotoko: Heh. I want to be like you. I refuse to tolerate sin.  Es: You won't tolerate sin? Kotoko: Yes. I despise evil. Hurting the innocent through violence, taking away from others, killing people… I can’t stand it! There are too many cases of the law being unable to deliver a verdict to sinning. Just by exploiting the loopholes in the law, the sinners who have tortured and bullied the weak can still live out their lives unpunished! I want to change this world, but I alone only have so much power. Es: Kotoko…   Kotoko: To be honest, I don't know your true intentions. And I don't know if you are a similar person to me with similar thoughts. In the end, I could be deluding myself with wishful thinking. Even still, this place has multiple methods of deducing good and evil. To me, MILGRAM’s very nature has a kind of charm to it. How about it? Do you understand me as a person now?

Q.01 Who exactly are you? Kotoko: Yuzuriha Kotoko The person who plans on becoming your fangs. Well, that all depends on you though.

21/10/26 (Kotoko’s First Trial) Kotoko: ……come, Es. Let’s fight together.

After having her mindset validated, Kotoko decided to take up her end of her proposed deal in full force. Force being the key word here. She is ready and willing to go at a moments notice (or even without one). Aren't you happy to have such a loyal partner? Hmm? She's acting like if she could take the power you hold at any time, she would?

02 - “Heh. As expected, you wanted us to work together, huh? I’ll be answering to your resolve and your expectations. With all the strength I have.” 03 - “I gave the prisoners that you didn’t forgive what they deserved. Going along with Milgram’s system, I didn’t go all-out yet. I figured you’d need some more time to think about it too. …What’s with that face?” 04 - “I did tell you to follow your intuition and that I’d leave things to you, but you’re really going easy on them. I think I would’ve forgiven less people. Hmph, if only I was the warden [in this place]… Well, no ill feelings, I guess.”

... That's probably just your imagination~ Well, it is what it is. After all, she knows just how taxing this much responsibility is on Es' poor little shoulders... Don't worry. She'll take that burden on.

Kotoko: I know it well. It’s so hard to hold the responsibility of a guard all alone. I’ve also felt this way. You are such a kind person. You can’t stand the prison changing with the power of your choices. So you need someone to be with. Leave all of the dirty work to me. Es: I’m… a kind person? Kotoko: Does your head hurt anymore? Don’t worry. Leave it to me, and together we’ll be able to create the right MILGRAM. Es: I see… that MILGRAM...

Just make sure not to betray her, or go back on your word- okay? It's like Futa said. If you get off now, you're a traitor~

Anyways, I hope this was a fun read! It was fun discussing this and I hope the logic tracked for why every prisoner was put in each group!

[pimenita]

I finished DATV so here are my thoughts:

First a bit of context: I became a dragon age fan around ten years ago, after playing Fable and looking for games that had a similar feel (and my 2 GB RAM PC could run) I knew DA Inquisition was out but there was no way my PC could take it, so I got Origins and holy shit… my 2010 PC could barely handle it too. When I tell you that the game craawwwled, that the best I could squeeze out of my computer was a stutter and that every quest must have taken me at least 3 times the normal amount of time they should have taken.

Dragon Age Origins is still one of my favorite games of all time, and as someone who joined the party very late, I'll admit experiencing that month of waiting for DATV was very exciting. After completing the game, I'll say the enthusiasm hasn't died down but not because the game is amazing, it's because DATV worked for me: it gave me what I wanted while avoiding most (most!) of the pitfalls of working on the 4th installment of a series that is close to being 20 years old.

We all know how turbulent the development of DATV was and how close to being cancelled for real it got. Is nothing better than the game we got? Not to me, I enjoyed it, I had fun, I'm still playing it (on my 2nd playthrough right now)

What saved DATV for me is what saves most everything for me: the characters. Some had good arcs, some had great arcs, and some were… there. But I never felt like they were a drag to be around. I like how they interact with each other, I love that nobody is calling anybody a slut or crazy (finally) because I get conflict, believe me, it's always fun to have your little guys wanting to kick one another's ass, but there was something so insidious in the way some conversations would go (Aveline and Isabela, just about every chat with Sera) that had me thinking it was more than just two characters tearing into each other. It was like the writer's barely disguised actual beliefs, if you know what I mean.

That being said, I know I'm not the only one that felt like some chats were too hamfisted, too on the nose—someone called the game Dragon Age: Friendship is Magic and I'm still laughing. I've seen the idea of "therapy speak" being used in books in ways that break immersion and I couldn't help feeling like some interactions the companions had were clear examples of this. What makes it weirder in my opinion is that the guys at bioware know how to write compelling conflict that makes sense and has a satisfying resolution. Let's take for example Lucanis' and Davrin's spat after the team fails to kill Ghilan'nain: they throw barbs at each other, then when they cool off they realize they were being asses, so they talk it out and make peace. Like adults, like a hardened assassin and warrior would. It adds to the conflict, it adds to the story, and it informs us of the type of people they are. Then there's Emmrich and Harding discussing a camping trip and waiting for my Rook to pick a side, and I'm like: dude you're both old enough to compromise? Also why do I care what you do with your time when we aren't fighting gods? Appalling stuff. Cut it out, think about better banter.

Then there's the huge elephant in the room: why is Thedas so sanitized? Is this the result of new writers not knowing enough about previous games?—it could be, they don't even know who Zevran is.

Or is it executive meddling?—maybe, there's a screenshot going around of the writers on bluesky (I think) where they vaguepost about critics of the game being right and how they (bioware team) fought against stuff that was included regardless. So, who knows.

On this front I will only reiterate that I'm glad Zev didn't show up. I already side-eyed Isabela (and also Taash) for her ideas about "treasure hunters" (read: pirates) and how they are actually good guys if you think about it (please, don't think about it too hard). Which, fine, let's say they really believe this, the same way the Crows believe they are freedom fighters or another vaguely Latin American coded thing; I understand that people entrenched in a system can truly believe what they're selling, but where's the other side of the coin? Where's the chats about the hurt they inflict on others to achieve what they want? The Crows have that one guy that ends up being a corrupt politician, and the Lords of Fortune… well, they are there.

Dragon Age is such a centrist series that I have heard just about everything about it. That it loves elves, that it hates elves, that it's pro-mage, that it's pro-templar. And it's because it has so many different factions that defend their ideologies that you can't say for sure what the writer's feelings are on the subject (and also because it's centrist, both sides are wrong bull most of the time). I swear I love Dragon Age; it's only because I care that I point out this stuff.

But that's the thing, I'm ok with both-sides-are-wrong fiction if it means it won't be a black and white take full of good guys telling me how good they are, while the bad guys twirl their mustaches evilly. And, unfortunately and except for a few cases (Solas) I feel like DATV dropped the ball here. Actually, I'm also fine with bad guys going full camp (Hezenkoss is one of the best parts of the game) just, you know, it has to be intentional, otherwise it feels like bad writing.

tl;dr DATV has very high highs, and very low lows, and I would've loved a more polished game, but I enjoy what we got and I will keep replaying it because of the companions and because it's a fun little game… most of the time at least.

[toujokaname]

Card shuffle / Episode 2

Author: Akira

Characters: Rinne, Tatsumi, Aira, Mayoi

"Why'd you change so much, Rinne-senpai?"

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[ Read on my site for a better viewing experience using Ois~su ♪ ]

Season: Winter

Location: Training Room

Rinne: Anyway, yeah.

For that reason, we've been dragged into this fateful (?) showdown (pfft) between ALKALOID and Crazy:B! Talk about being saddled with a stupid plan!

Honestly, it's a royal pain in the ass to deal with, since it was clearly cooked up by some moron who doesn't know jack about us.

You guys aside, we Crazy:B are still at a disadvantage in ES 'cause of what we did in the summer. We reap what we sow, but still?

Apparently, ES wants to make this Matrix thing into a big event that'll mark the end of their first year of existence—

And we gotta do our best to hype it up, right?

If we disobey, well, you guys may be fine, but we might actually get the boot this time.

Can't say I'm thrilled about caving in to threats, but... Really, what has ES ever done for us?

Did they actually think we'd be all like "oh, yay, we're so pumped to work for ES!" with stars in our eyes? That nonsense's fine in dreams, but they need a reality check already, hm?

Tatsumi: ...You've been harsher than usual for a while now. Rinne-san, do you have any particular thoughts on this plan?

Though it's admittedly a flawed project, I'd consider it an honor to be entrusted with a major event.

Will this, too, be made fun of as a model answer from a goody-two-shoes?

Rinne: Ahh... Well, no need to worry 'bout that.

It's just that, back when I was an idol under my own name, there was a lot going on.

Aira: ...?

Rinne: Anyway, seems like ES is dead set on having ALKALOID and Crazy:B duke it out no matter what.

Tatsumi: Yes... It appears they want to create that kind of wrestling match atmosphere.

Aira: In reality, we're not even on bad terms... I mean, we had some issues in the summer, but honestly, we barely cross paths at work.

Mayoi: Our target audiences are completely different... The so-called issues in the summer largely revolved around aiding Hiiro-san's efforts to stop Rinne-san from going on a rampage.

From a personal standpoint, we harbor no ill will towards Crazy:B.

Aira: Though we're at least aware of each other, since we debuted at the same time.

If anything, Crazy:B's constant blunders make us look better in comparison, so it's kinda handy.

Rinne: Mhm, mhm. But see, that's a problem for ES! They really want us to be archenemies!

And that's when the focus turned to me and Otouto-kun. We're blood-related brothers, each leading Crazy:B and ALKALOID.

"The Amagi brothers have always had a bad relationship, and they formed their units just to spite each other—"

Something like that. Seems they wanna make a scandalous scenario that the public's gonna eat right up.

Aira: Even though you and Hiro-kun actually seem rather close... I mean, for some reason, he weirdly looks up to such a scumbag of an older brother.

Rinne: Oi, oi, don't call me a scumbag. If I'm not the "foul-mouthed character" type, fans might get disappointed.

Aira: Every once in a while, you put on airs of a snobby senior idol...

Anyway, I think I get the gist of it?

ES wants to create a scenario where Hiro-kun and Rinne-senpai are at odds 'cause it fits their script.

Rinne: Right, right. That's why I became ALKALOID's leader this time as part of that scenario.

We'll swap units temporarily to prove ourselves and brag about beating our sibling.

So, for example, what happens if I make ALKALOID more successful than it was when Otouto-kun was leading?

It'd prove I'm better than Otouto-kun, yeah?

That's the kinda thing the fictional Rinne Amagi-kun would say.

ES always wants to play the poor victims being pushed around by that kinda selfish idol, huh? Gyahahahaha! ☆

Even if this plan backfires, ES can still escape responsibility. Maaan, I've gotta hand it to ES, still as shitty as ever ♪

Aira: Such a foul mouth... Yet you're the one telling off others... Isn't that why you're hated and forced into these harassment projects?

Rinne: I keep harping on the same thing over and over, but I'm totally fine being "that kinda character."

Aira: When you first debuted, you were more of a pure, orthodox idol... Why'd you change so much, Rinne-senpai?

Rinne: ......

[ ☆ ]

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[cosmiclion]

Although I know I don't have the power to tell people what they can and can't write (and I certainly don't have the desire to engage with them), I'm allowed to complain about certain things in my own little corner of the internet (I'm actually very resentful of this sentiment in modern fandoms that we aren't allowed to criticize anything and how "don't like don't read/look", "let people enjoy things", or the infamous "fiction isn't reality" have become the automatic responses used to shut down any attempt at media discussion and criticism, even if it's unofficial/fan creations).

While I myself very (and I mean VERY) often enjoy playing around with headcanons and putting characters in all kinds of crazy scenarios, I admit that there are certain tropes some YOI fan creators use that honestly make me scratch my head. I won't go into the most questionable (I know that's an understatement but whatever) stuff like making the characters do such heinous things that they are beyond recognition ("dark Viktor" I'm looking at you) because it's pointless, but there are some less extreme things that still make me wonder if some people have actually watched the anime. Examples include:

-Turns out Viktor really was just a playboy who just wanted to have some fun with Yuuri and dumps him after a while because "he can't keep fooling around like this" (why do some of y'all want a canonically sweet guy to be a jerk so bad). -Yuuri breaks up with Viktor because he thinks Viktor should settle down with a woman and have a family and he's being selfish and stopping him from doing that (he wants to be known as the man who stole Viktor Nikiforov from the world (his words), do you really think he'd throw that away and suddenly be like "actually I think you should stop being gay with me, go knock up some chick"?) -Yuuri gets his own apartment upon moving to Russia becuse it doesn't even cross his mind that Viktor wants him to stay with him and even insists on living on his own when Viktor tells him they should live together (aren't these the two idiots that are practically always glued to each other? Did we watch the same show?) -Yuuri, Viktor, or both deny that they are romantically involved in interviews or similar situations (Yuuri declared his love for Viktor on live television and Viktor launched himself at Yuuri and KISSED HIM also on live television??? Hello?????)

And I'm sure I'm forgetting a few. To be fair I've seen most of these on doujins/fancomics and other types of visual media (I know, I know, insert "I don't know what I expected" meme here etc etc), mainly because I actually haven't read too man fanfics, but I wouldn't be surprised if they were common tropes in written media too. But yeah, tbh I think a lot of people would benefit from a few rewatches and analyses of the show :/

Ok I don't know how to close this, peace out ✌️