#and i think that'[s my main issue w/ pizza
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is it weird i don’t like pizza that much??
idk if i’ve just never had good pizza or what. it’s always the sauce that gets me. why is it so sweet? why is it so acidic? it’s gross and i am sad.
#i used to like pizza#but less as i've gotten older#do i just not like pizza or have i never had good pizza? i don't know#but i do know tomato sauce annoys me people rarely make it good#and i think that'[s my main issue w/ pizza#the sauce is never good#i really want to get some of those rly good san marino tomatoes and make some homemade sauce someday#and settle once and for all if the problem is ME or the tomato sauce itself#i love mozzarella its my favorite cheese#but it can only do so much to cover up bad sauce#i just hate when it's so sweet and acidic that i can feel my acid reflux going GRRRRRRRR#my body doesn't take acid well#i'm picky about coffee too lol#literally nobody asked but fuck dunkin donuts coffee#it makes me nauseous instantly no matter how much cream i put in it#and also it tastes horrible#like burned#and awful#the only good thing at dunkin donuts is their toasted almond flavor#which is literally just almond extract#but i'm ok with that bc i adore almond extract#but yeah acidic coffee makes me nauseous too and it's not worth it bc it tastes bad too#acidic coffee and acidic tomato sauce r my mortal enemies#and don't get me started on lemonade...#i miss lemonade :(#but it had me sick in bed for three days so NO#never again#thoughts from faun
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Falling Slowly - Chapter 2
Pairing: Tommy Miller x f!reader
Word Count: 2400+
Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!
Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story.
Notes: This started as a simple idea for Tommy. He had different ideas and I can’t say no to those freckles and smile. Thanks to @mermaidxatxheart for helping me get unstuck. You always have such great ideas!
And a big thanks to @wyn-n-tonic for helping me form thoughts and give this a little shape. I hope I can be a quarter as talented as you one day!
**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!
❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)
**Reader is not described. Divider made by @benkeibear
Main Masterlist
Falling Slowly Masterlist
Tommy Miller Masterlist
<<Chapter 1<<
“Would you rather never be able to wear pants or never be able to wear shorts?”
Tommy laughs, his entire body shaking it with it. “What kind of question is that?”
I smirk at him. “Just answer it.”
“I think you know the answer.”
“You do love your Daisy Dukes.”
Tommy pokes my rib and I flinch, giggling as I pull away from him. “Hey don’t attack me!”
Tommy lunges towards me, fingers outstretched as I scream, not moving fast enough to avoid his waggling fingers. They find their way into my sides, tears streaming down my face as I giggle uncontrollably, my body twitching to try and get away, but Tommy just pulls me in closer.
“S-s-STOP!” I throw my entire body backwards on the couch to try and get away, but Tommy comes with me, pressing his body into mine. My laughs slowly subside as he stops tickling me, his eyes switching between mine and my lips. I swear he can feel my heart beating through my chest.
“W-would you rather be balding but fit or overweight with a head full of hair?”
“Way to kill the mood.” Tommy was smiling, but he lifts himself off of me, extending his hand to help me up.
“Which one, Tommy?”
He puffs out some air, eyes shifting up like he’s thinking. “This is a hard one. I mean, look at me.” He gestures to himself and I can’t help but look for just a brief moment.
“Yes, yes. Very hot. Answer the question.”
“Have you seen this hair? I ain’t given’ it up.”
“That’s fair.”
We resume watching the movie and I lay my head on his broad shoulder, hoping that he can’t hear how my heart still beats through my chest.
It’s been the week from hell. Any minor inconvenience happened, mixing in with semi major issues, all contributing to my stress levels being over the top, even more so than normal.
It’s Friday night and, like clockwork, Tommy knocks on my door at 7:30pm. He is annoyingly prompt. I’d almost cancelled tonight, but he's the one thing I look forward to every week.
“Hey Daisy!” Tommy is way too chipper for a Friday night after a week of hard work.
“Hey.”
He whistles. “That bad, huh?”
“You have no idea.”
“Good thing I brought this then.” Tommy holds up a case of beer. “I’ve cleared my schedule for a good hangover tomorrow if needed.”
I can’t help the small smile that creeps across my face. “Thanks. Pizza just got here about 5 minutes before you did.”
“Great. I’m starvin’. Oh, I managed to snag Gladiator for tonight.”
“Pop it in.”
We sit and eat, making commentary on the movie. But no matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to at least hide my frustration. Something that I was desperately trying to hide from Tommy - he doesn’t need to deal with my shit on top of his. Unfortunately, I’m not as slick as I think, and Tommy is way sweeter than he should be. Maybe laying on his shoulder wasn’t such a great idea. The movie quiets, dialogue happening between some of the characters, and Tommy leans his head on mine.
“You ok?”
I sigh. “I’m fine.”
“Don’t sound fine.”
“It’s just work.”
“Stressing you out again?”
“Just one of those weeks where anything that could go wrong, did. And anything that could take as long as humanly possible, did.”
“You need to let out some of that stress. It’s not healthy.”
I laugh. “Duh. Why didn’t I think of that?”
He’s quiet for a moment and I think I hurt his feelings. But before I can apologize, he speaks quietly.
“You know what you need? You need to get laid. You’re not getting any which really doesn’t help with the stress.”
What did he just say? Did he just suggest I get laid to calm down? Wait, is he offering?
“Yeah well, that may be, but in order to get laid, I’d have to have a boyfriend.”
“Not necessarily.”
“Are you suggesting I go find some random guy to hookup with?”
“N-no. Not some random guy.”
“Then who?”
He pauses. “Me.”
What?
I sit up, turning to stare at him, hoping my mouth isn’t hanging open like it is in my head. He chuckles nervously, eyes darting around the room, barely staying on me, his hands rubbing down his thighs over his jeans.
“You know what? That was stupid. I didn’t mean-”
"We'd have to set some ground rules."
Tommy's eyes snap to mine. "You..You're serious?"
"I am."
Tommy shifts in his seat, straightening himself out while trying to look chill and relaxed.
"Like, uh, like what-what exactly?"
"Hhmm… well, we still remain friends."
"That's a given."
“If one person wants to leave immediately…after, that’s ok. No obligation to stay.”
“Sounds good.”
"We can't get jealous if the other person wants to date someone else."
He’s silent a moment. “Seems fair.”
“And…oh, if either of us wants to call it off, it’s off. No hard feelings.”
“Oh, I can’t promise I won’t have hard feelings,” Tommy smirks at his joke as I roll my eyes, a smile on my face.
“Deal?” I stick my hand out.
Tommy looks at my hand. “Oh darlin’. That’s not how we’re sealin’ this deal.”
A rush of wet goes straight between my thighs and I try to swallow back the sound I just made.
Tommy chuckles darkly while he shakes my now sweaty hand. “Deal.”
He pulls me close, his large, warm hand coming up to cradle my cheek, fingers wrapping around the back of my head and winding their way into my hair. His lips are just above mine, his breath warm and hot on mine.
“Are you sure, darlin’?”
My head is full of desire, Tommy’s scent surrounding me, his hand grounding me to him, but I manage a nod.
“Yes,” I sigh.
He presses his lips to mine, soft and warm, tasting slightly of tobacco, as they gently push mine apart, his tongue sliding into my mouth. My hands slide up his broad chest, settling there for a moment as we both moan and get lost in a kiss that feels like we had both had been waiting for.
I throw my leg over his lap and straddle him, my hands sliding up to his face to tug at his curls at the back of his head. He moans and I do too, rolling my hips to get some kind of friction on my rapidly heating cunt. Tommy’s hands grip my hips, guiding me and helping me grind down more as I whine into his mouth and feel him harden under his jeans.
I throw my head back, gasping out his name as he kisses my chest, pulling at the hem of my shirt. I get the hint, yanking my shirt from me and throwing it across the room, my fingers already undoing my bra clasp before my shirt hits the floor, the bra joining it a moment later.
“Oh shit!” I cry out, as Tommy latches onto one of my nipples, sucking, licking, and nibbling as he still guides my hips to roll over his jean–clad erection. He switches to the other side, moaning when I tug his hair more.
Suddenly, he stands, sliding his hands under my ass as I wrap my legs around him, our lips finding each other as he marches down the hall to my room, kicking the door open. I giggle as he tosses me on the bed, grabbing my ankles and yanking me towards the edge of it. A quick glance up at me for a final confirmation, and my enthusiastic nod has him undoing my pants, quickly sliding them off and tossing them behind him. He stares down at my panties and I’m grateful that I actually wore cute ones today instead of my regular "I don't give a fuck" underwear. He reaches for my pant line but I stop him.
“Wait…you have entirely too many clothes on.”
He smirks, his eyes darkening even more. “You’re absolutely right.”
He sheds his shirt and while I knew how he was built, it was never in this situation. Outside of my fantasies, of course. He undoes the button on his jeans, sliding them down and off, balancing on each foot to take off his socks, both of us giggling as he nearly falls over in doing so. Then he’s back by me, fingers dancing at the hem of my panties for a moment before he hooks his fingers in, sliding them down and off, his eyes never leaving my pussy.
“Fuck, you’re prettier’n I imagined.”
He leans his head down, but I put my hand out to stop him. He looks up at me from between my legs, concern on his face.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Do you not want me to?”
I can feel the heat coming off my cheeks because yes, I very much want him to do that. “No, of course I do. Like, I really do….But we agreed to sex and you don’t have to do all of…this.” I wave my hand around, aiming it between my thighs.
“Darlin’, we agreed to be friends with benefits. Not friends with some benefits. You get my dick, but you also get my mouth too.”
And before I can say anything else, he licks up the center of me and I whine, my back pushing further into the bed as he pries my legs open wider, using his broad shoulders to hold them open. He licks at me like he’d been dying to do this the entire time we’ve known each other, sucking gently and nibbling at my inner thigh. His finger comes up to my entrance as he rubs slow, small circles there, gathering up my arousal before slowly pushing in. I cry out, hands fisting in the sheets as he pulls his finger out, adding another as he pushes in, curling his finger and tapping until he found the spot I desperately hoped he would find.
“There! Oh shit, there!”
He scissors his fingers, licking and sucking at my clit and my hand flies out, gripping those beautiful curls. I look down at him between my thighs and he must feel my eyes on him. He looks up at me and smirks, his tongue darting out to lick at my clit and that’s all it takes to have my thighs shaking, twitching under his shoulders as I cry out random words. Once I come down, he crawls up my body, leaving little kisses on my skin as he goes, sucking on a spot on my neck as he grinds his still cloth covered dick into my soaked pussy.
“You want it rough or slow, darlin’?”
“You have multiple settings?”
He chuckles. “Yes, ma’am. Now, how do you want to be fucked today?”
He’s going to kill me.
“Tommy, you can rail me as fast or as slow as you want, so long as you make me forget my hard week. I won’t break.”
“Fuck, darlin’, you may just kill me yet.” He pulls back, getting off the bed and reaching for the hem of his boxer briefs. “Safe word is tomatoes.”
Before I can question it, he slides his boxers down and kicks them off, standing upright in his full, naked, broad chested, well endowed glory. He smirks when he sees me staring at him. Tommy crawls up my body again, his lips finding mine as he slides his large cock through my folds. He pauses at my leaking entrance, pulling back to look at me. His hand comes up to grip my chin and when I look at him, he slowly pushes inside of me.
While he’s not porn star large, he’s definitely the most endowed man I’ve ever slept with and damn does he know what he’s doing. I can feel every inch of him filling me up, pushing at the back of me, his breath hot on my face as he watches it contort in pleasure. He pulls out and pushes in slowly a few more times to allow me to adjust before he snaps his hips, pushing himself inside even further and I cry out. He sets an increasingly rough pace, snapping his hips against mine, adding that extra thrust that I swear is going to bruise me and I don’t even care. He turns my head to the side and nibbles at my earlobe, kissing down my neck gently, in stark contrast to the rough, deep thrusts he’s fucking me with and it’s all too much and not enough, my legs wrapping around him, willing him to do more. He pulls back slightly, pushing my legs up and hooking them under his arms as he continues to rail me at this new angle, hitting multiple spots simultaneously.
“Oh God, Tommy!” I scream his name as I come, my hands fisting the sheets, head thrown back, nearly buried in the mattress.
He keeps the pace but brings a hand up to my clit, rubbing circles there, only needing a few moments before he coaxes another orgasm from me, this one harder than the last as I scream his name again.
“Fuck, Tommy, fucking come inside of me!”
“Fuck!” Tommy rams his hips into me a few more sporadic times as he comes, panting out heavy words as he fills me up, our heavy breaths the only sound in the near silent room.
He pulls out of me with a hiss, walking into my bathroom and getting a couple of washcloths wet. He comes back out and cleans me up, chuckling as my thighs twitch when he dabs at my overstimulated cunt. He chucks them in my hamper and comes back to the bed, sitting on it next to me, where I haven’t moved since he got off of me.
“You ok, darlin’? Forget your hard week?”
“Mmmhmm,” I say, my eyes heavy with post fucking bliss. “You’re amazing at that, Tommy.”
“Ah, I do alright.”
“A Fucking King.”
He laughs. “I’m making a shirt.”
He slides into bed next to me, pulling me next to him as he wraps his body around mine.
“You cuddle too?”
“Only when I’m cold.” I can feel him holding back a laugh.
“Well, if your cock gets cold, and I’m asleep, you have my permission to put it inside of me.”
I feel his dick twitch behind me. “I may hold you to that.”
Tommy did take me up on my offer, softly thrusting into me from behind as he rubs slow circles into my clit. I wake to an orgasm, quietly moaning his name as he comes again, biting my shoulder as he does.
But as we make breakfast, Tommy laughing and joking around, still trying to tickle me as we flip the pancakes, it hits me.
I am totally fucked, in more ways than one.
>>Chapter 3>>
General Taglist:
@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @giuliarogers @icanbeyourjedi @wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @alindeluce @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed @ladykatakuri @marrianena @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @ichigodjarin @justreblogginfics @sullyosully @kmc1989
#tommy miller#gabriel luna#The last of us#tommy miller x you#tommy miller x f!reader#tommy miller x female reader#tommy miller x reader#tlou#tlou fanfic#tlouff#the last of us fanfic#gabriel luna x reader#gabriel luna x you#gabriel luna characters character fanfic#gabriel lunal character ff#gabriel luna character fanfiction
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among us + boneless pizza + Lebron James + One chip challenge + chuck e cheese + creepypasta + horror monologue + reddit post + r/copypasta + cringe + Thomas sanders vines + 2020 + sr pelo + griddy + low taper fade + big back + Trevor Henderson creatures + sweet home alabama + dad went to get the milk + gummy bears + disney’s downfall + nostalgic + nostalgia + joe mama jokes + fortnite + andrew tate + name 10 books + gedagadegadagadieo man face chicken nugget + 3AM challenge + Trollface edit + gyat + mogging + edging + looksmaxxing + mewing + shrek + kinder egg videos + play-dough egg videos + I like my cheese drippy bruh + KSI’s new song + lunchly’s + I have 2 sides + grind + sweat + geek + goon + gooner + nerd + youtube shorts + tiktok slideshows + one cock edits + peanut butter on my sandwich + blippi harlem shake video + drop the soap + slang + homer simpson + online dating + toxicity + presidential debate + facebook mom(s) + soccer mom(s) + minions who will gru be tonight + india’s average water supply=💩 + africa’s average water supply=❔+ I ate 5 homeless people because I thought they were watermelons + snapchat filters + Hawk Tuah + Talk Tuah podcast + Prime + Still Prime + FDA approved + sigma + Alpha male + Beta + Ice Spice + Kai Cenat + Ishowspeed + stop the cap bruh 🧢 + you ate that + you sold + you’re selling + lock in + locked in + I forgor + dat boi + Nyan Cat + shaggy 0.1% power + Goku drip + Kendrick Lamar + Not Like Us + Drake + BBL Drizzy + P. Diddy + Quandale Dingle + Sophie Rain Spiderman Video + Drake Leak + Super Senior Gojo + Thukuna + Grimace Shake + Gacha Life Edits + Packgod + BellaTheWolf + Meowbahh + Internet beef + gang gang + Eminem + Donald Trump + Joe Biden + Kamala Harris + Ratio + Cope + Kys + throwing it back + Rizz + rizzler + rizzing them up + schizophrenia + Erm what the sigma + handsome squidward + spongebob + idksterling + mr beast + Mike Tyson vs Jake Paul + Shopify + Tiktok Trend + whats your power in rise of kingdoms? + doxxing + doxxer + doxxed + asf + asl + idk + wth + wtf + emoji reactions + discord mod + EDP445 + dr disrespect * Kris Tyson + Aura + Bro + Based + Basic + Banger + Fire + Cooked + BDE + Bestie + Taylor Swift + Bet + BFFR + Big Yikes + Blud + Boujee + Adolf Hitler + osama bin laden + 9/11 + the holocaust + 1800’s slavery + Bouncing on it + step bro i’m stuck + Bop + the sauce + glaze + Glazing + Family guy clips + fortnite montage + Brainrot + Fanum Tax + Bruh + Bussin + Bussy + fnaf song sus remixes + sus + sussy + sussy baka + baka + Caught in 4k + Clapback + Dab + Dap me up + you’re dead + dogs + grippers + sonic put those grippers away! + Drip + Era + Villan Arc + Winter Arc + glow-up + glow-down + Extra + random + you’re doing too much + Fit-check + Flex + dogwater + toiletwater + Finna + Gagged + stop ghosting me + Glizzy + G.O.A.T. + Gucci + Hits different + ICK + and I oop + VSCO GIRLS skskssksksksk + IPad Kid + It’s giving ____ + Iykyk + Jit + lil bro + Karen Behavior + yap + yapping + Lit + Rent-Free + bro thinks hes the Main Character + mid + Netflix and Chill + NPC + Nyaa~ + Ohio + ok boomer + oof + opp(s) + outta pocket + owned + humbled + stay mad + L + W + nobody asked + nobody cares + Period + Pick me + Pluh + Pookie + Queen + King + daddy + mommy + Red flag + Roman Empire + salty + secure the bag + just put the fries in the bag bro + sheesh + shook + sigma male + simp + slaps + slay + sleep on + get off my meat bro + meat-riding + meat-rider + snatched + stan + Dream face reveal + FNAF theories + mattpat + skill issue + Markiplier + OnlyFans + spill the tea girlie + tweaking + Touch grass + Understood the assignment + Valid + Vibe check + wig + yeet + zesty + band4band + ai covers + Baby Gronk + Livvy Dunne + Still water + adrenaline + noradrenaline + anger issues + balkan parents + english or Spanish + german stare + Balkan rage + jonkler laugh + phonk + mangos + 1000 yard stare + those who know=💀
"... what?"
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[created by: youvebeensurved - LiveJournal]
How often do you get fountain drinks from a gas station? I’ve actually never tried getting a drink from one of those fountains. I find them nasty, and the fact that gas stations aren’t the most hygienic of places certainly doesn’t help their case.
If you get online and look at graphics, what website(s) do you go to? I never find myself looking for graphics. The closest thing I search are vector icons, and for those I have an extension on Chrome that lets me look for icons to place on slides and such.
Who would you say your favorite celebrity is? At the moment it would be Rosamund Pike, but my all-time favorite would be Beyoncé.
Have you ever slept in your car? If so, explain. Sure, mostly when I took naps in between classes. There were also a few times I had late nights out and didn’t have a place to crash at, so I’d sleep in the car for the night before heading home in the morning.
If you were forced to murder one of your parents, which one would it be? This is a horrible question.
What song are you currently obsessed with? Find Me Here - Hayley Williams.
Explain your last run in with the police: Never happened.
Who was the last friend you hung out with, and what did you guys do? In terms of a physical get-together, I was with Angela, Hans, Pia, Kyelle, Al, Gab, and Sam and we had dinner and drinks at this gastropub that announced its impending permanent closure by the end of February. Virtually, I hung out with Andi, Peter, Carmel, Rita, Robin, Mik, and Elis to have a Jeopardy game night over Zoom.
What time do you usually go to bed and wake up? On weekdays I try to turn in anywhere between 9–11 PM and wake up by 6:30. On weekends, I try to stay up until midnight at the earliest, but I’m trying to make it a habit to stay up until like 2–3 AM just so I can catch up on my hobbies and shows. I wake up anywhere between 5–7 AM.
If you could have any job in the world, what would it be? What's stopping you? Lawyer, which is a route I seriously considered for a few years. I get extremely tense in arguments though so I doubt I’d be the best fit for that kind of career.
Do you have a friend that's in a horrible situation right now? Explain. Yeah, my college batchmate (who’s now also my co-worker) Aimee tested positive for COVID this week after being in and out of a fever over the last two weeks.
What was the last store you were in, and what did you buy? I suddenly needed plastic bags while I was packing groceries at the office the other week, so I went to the nearby convenience store to check if they had any. They didn’t, so I left without buying anything.
Who was the last person you texted, and what did this text say? I was texting some media friends to tell them some shoes we had ordered for them to try out are going to be delivered to their address within the day.
What is the reason for the last time you cried? A show I had been watching had an emotional scene.
Who is your favorite character in your favorite movie? Joanna, of course, mainly because that’s the character Audrey Hepburn plays.
What color did you last paint your nails? I can’t remember the color I chose the last time I had my nails painted 79472394348 years ago.
It's 112 degrees out today, describe your attire: A very thin tank top with airy shorts.
Do you have any friends that are currently in jail? Explain their situation. Not friends but I can think of a couple of relatives who’ve gotten ‘in conflict’ with the law. I won’t get into their cases but for both of them, it was because they got tricked by their respective abusive bosses, hence the quote marks.
Do you tend to take long or short surveys? I like taking those whose lengths are right in the middle - anywhere between 35-80 questions. Shorter ones look boring and I find the longer ones too time-consuming.
What do you currently desire? I changed my mind about La Creperie and will be going to Ramen Nagi instead since I just remembered they currently have a truffle ramen thing that’s only going to be around for a limited time, and I want to get my hands on it before they take it off the menu.
How often do you honk your horn? Depends on how stupid the people I’m driving with are on a given day.
For what reason were you last at a park? We don’t have too many parks here so there’s little opportunity to stay at one. I remember seeing one with Gab when we were at BGC a little over a year ago, but we only walked through it since it was part of the route we were taking to get to our actual destination.
What junk food can you never pass up? Salted egg chips and pizza.
If you're a girl, what is your favorite brand of feminine hygiene products? If you're a boy, what is your favorite brand of condoms? I don’t have a favorite.
Where was the last place you went on a walk to? Just around the neighborhood. I also wanted to make this morning’s route with Cooper a little longer so he could walk more, so we went to parts of the village we don’t normally reach.
How are you feeling today? I’m content :) It’s the weekend so I’m not too tense like I normally would be on weekdays. I also have plans to go out later today so I’m looking forward to that.
Do you ever make your own surveys? Never tried because I know I wouldn’t be able to come up with new and interesting questions.
How flexible are you? Not very. I can’t even reach my toes when I do stretches.
What is your favorite class? Any history elective. I also like biology, anthropology, and some aspects of political science.
What is your boyfriend's name? I don’t have one.
What is your favorite drink? Non-alcoholic, cold water. Alcoholic, Long Island Iced Tea for mixed drinks, and tequila.
Who is your best friend? Angela.
What time is it? 11:20 AM.
What is your middle name? My second name is Isabelle, but I’m not sharing my legal middle name.
What 3 websites do you visit daily? YouTube, Google Suite, and Twitter.
Where do you work? At home, haha. But under normal circumstances I’d be working in an office somewhere in Metro Manila.
What is your favorite band? Paramore.
How do you feel about abortion? Personally not a fan of the procedure for myself, but I am as pro-choice as it gets.
Do you want any kids? Very much so.
Have you ever microwaved soap? Nah, but I know what happens to it from watching YouTube videos hahaha. It’s so fun to see it gradually expand and become a pretty lil cloud.
Are there any new movies that you want to see? I Care A Lot, but I feel sooooooooo lazy about watching new movies. Idk if I’ll ever get around to it.
How many places have you lived? I’d say around five in total, including the house I currently reside in. I’ve lived in my parents’ apartment in Manila, then we briefly moved in with my dad’s parents, and then I spent most of my childhood in a duplex living with my mom’s side (and got to live in both houses), until we finally settled here when I was 10.
Do you have any health issues? Yeah, the main one I have to live with is scoliosis.
Are you texting anyone? Nope. And I don’t really text anymore, either. Most of my conversations take place on Messenger or Viber.
What do you drive? A Mitsubishi Mirage hatchback.
Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Sure, both male and female ones.
Are you drinking or eating anything? Nope but I am starting to feel a bit hungry.
What color is your shirt? Yellow with some grey text.
Do you drink? Like...alcohol? Sure. I have the occasional soju night.
What year do/did you graduate? I graduated high school in 2016, and college in 2020.
Do you play any sports? Table tennis, though it’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to play. I got to take it as a PE elective on my last sem, but my time with it got cut off because of COVID :(
Do you pop your fingers? Yeah, I just cracked my knuckles a few minutes ago.
What is your shoe size? I can wear a size 6 or 7.
Have you ever had a UTI? Apparently I’ve had one, but all I got from it was a persisting high fever. I didn’t actually have any difficulties or felt pain in my urinary tract, though of course I felt scared to pee during that time because I thought it would hurt lol.
What was the last thing you baked? Cookies. A lifetime ago, since I don’t normally bake.
When was the last time you showered? Yesterday afternoon when I was finally able to clock out of work.
Would you rather go to the dentist or the doctor? Dentist. I actually find the procedures soothing. There’s a whole lot of issues that can be unpacked when you visit doctors, so I’m kinda scared of that.
Have you ever been in love? Yes. I miss the feeling and being able to act on it, but I’m liking being with myself too.
How do you feel about public speaking? I’m ok with it for the most part. I know I can speak well and generally have a good hold of my thoughts, so I don’t mind if I have to do it unless I have to talk about something I’m greatly unfamiliar with, like insurance or economics lmao. The latter situation is the only time I’d feel unprepared or scared of public speaking.
Do you see anything green? Yeah, since we have artificial plant accents on the coffee table.
What shoes do you usually wear? Sneakers or running shoes.
Do you take any birth control? Nope.
Who is the last person you talked to? My sister; I just asked her to turn the volume down on the TV.
Are there any fast food restaurants that you refuse to eat at? Just Tokyo Tokyo. I can take or leave Burger King but for the most part I find their burgers too plain.
Do you recycle? Whenever I can, yeah.
Do you know what you want to major in in college? I wanted to take up journalism. I suppose I don’t regret it, since I ended up wanting to be in a field that’s close enough to it anyway and I don’t feel like the skills I learned went to waste.
Have you ever snuck anyone in your room? Nah, I always let my mom know if I’m letting someone over since she doesn’t knock and would find out anyway.
Who was the last person in your bed besides you? Gabie.
Have you ever been in the hospital? Other than when I was born, yeah, at least once.
What's the last movie you watched? I watched Midsommar with Nina and some cousins last Christmas lol. We unknowingly downloaded the Director’s Cut, which we found out wasn’t as good as the main version since they added cheesy scenes to it, which ruined the suspenseful mood of the movie.
What's your favorite fruit? Avocado.
What do your bathroom walls look like? The bottom half has coral-ish tiles, while the top half is just a plain white wall. In the downstairs bathroom the setup is the same, but instead of coral tiles we have light blue wall tiles instead on the bottom half.
What do you spend most of your money on? At the moment, most of the money that I do take out of my account is the money I give to my parents every couple of weeks to help out with the bills. The next main thing I spend on is food, because I always have cravings I need satisfied haha.
Do you have any weird obsessions? Reading about serial killers and unsolved crimes isn’t really considered ‘weird’ anymore since a lot of other people have taken up the interest. But that’s probably the most out-there ~obsession that I have.
Do you bite your nails? I do but not obsessively.
What's the last color you dyed your hair? I’ve never tried dyeing my hair yet.
How do you feel about mustaches? Not my personal preference, but you do you.
Is there anyone that you really want to see in concert? Beyonceeeeeeeeeeeeee.
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cake fluffy alphabet
Thank you to @pixelburied for letting me use this template! 😄 This is on my phone so apologies for the lack of a keep reading line.
@jovialyouthmusic @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @sirbeepsalot @pug-bitch @moonlightgem7 @emceesynonymroll @burnsoslow @ibldw-main @dcbbw @emichelle @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @notoriouscs @rainbowsinthestorm @stopforamoment @drakesensworld @gardeningourmet @katedrakeohd
A – Anger (What was their first fight about? Any big or recurring arguments?)
A recurring argument is how Drake often uses whiskey to block out negative thoughts. Camille tries her best to get him to open up and he is working on it.
B – Best (What would they say is the other’s best trait?)
Drake thinks Camille's best trait is her empathy. She listens and she wants to help you if you’re having a rough time. ‘I’ve got wine, come over for chats, let’s unpack this.’
Camille thinks Drake’s best trait is how amazing a father and husband he is. He always puts his family first and he will do anything to keep them safe and happy. Becoming a family man was the making of Drake Walker.
C – Camera (How do they document their relationships? Who likes to take pictures? Or videos?)
Drake has a photo album on his phone of just pictures of Camille which he looks at when he misses her or just wants to smile.
Camille has a scrapbook and develops actual photos and sticks them inside.
D – Dates (What are their dates like?)
Cosy, romantic, lots of hand holding and laughter. They have ridiculous conversations over the table, such as ‘who would die first in a horror film starring our friends?’ (answer: Maxwell).
E – Early (What was the first month of dating like?)
Drake constantly thought she was going to dump him. He didn’t believe he was worthy of her and he thought she would realise she had made a big mistake. Huge.
Meanwhile, Camille was happy and giddy at the thought of dating him which is a complete contrast.
F – Friends (How is their relationship with each other’s group of friends?)
They obviously have the same group of friends :)
G – Gifts (Do they like giving each other gifts? What kind?)
They do! Personal, thoughtful gifts. Camille isn’t into anything flashy, she much prefers cute little things that she can treasure. She loves to read vintage books and Drake will buy her one if he wants to make her smile.
Camille gifts him different bottles of whiskey, the more obscure the better. But the best present she ever gave him was the little babygrow with an embroidered marshmallow on the pocket as a birthday present, to surprise him with her baby news.
H – Hugs (All things involving hugs)
THEY LOVE HUGS. When Camille’s cooking, he will come up behind her and give her a hug ‘just because.’
I – Inside Jokes (Do they have any?)
They have one involving vaseline and clingfilm thanks to Olivia and Leo..
J – Jealousy (Who gets jealous easier? How do they show their jealousy?)
Drake gets jealous easier. He knows she loves him but those early dating thoughts start coming back when he sees her talking to a handsome guy and he starts to doubt himself. He will go very quiet, stewing. Camille will know exactly what he’s thinking, which means she will become more touchy feely with Drake to reassure him that SHE IS NOT GOING TO LEAVE HIM.
K – Kiss (How do they kiss? Who usually initiates?)
Passionately! Cutely! Tenderly! All the kissing! Drake usually initiates because he is a romantic marshmallow under that rugged and sarcastic exterior.
L – Love (How do they first say those three words?)
He said it to her in bed, almost in shock at himself because he hadn’t been expecting to say it but he just had to get it out there because she looked particularly beautiful that night and he realised how happy he was. Even better, she said it back.
M – Movies (What kinds of movies do they watch together? Is it a regular Netflix ritual?)
They watch thrillers and the occasional romcom which Drake tolerates for her. They have Netflix and they like to bingewatch series (Drake has a crush on Nancy from Stranger Things)
N – Nicknames (Things they call each other)
‘Baby,’ ‘honey,’ just those kinds of names.
O – One (Tell us about the moment they realized they were with the one.)
Drake took her camping up the mountains and she loved it. She didn’t complain at all, she took photos of everything, she got excited when she saw wildlife. They snuggled up together in the tent and Camille said that she wished they could stay in the mountains together forever. That was when Drake realised she was the one.
Camille realised Drake was the one when she told him about her parents. She has always been private about her family but on the 20th anniversary of their death, she was very upset and wallowing. All she wanted was to talk to Drake about them. It was a big deal when she told him and he was very understanding and kind, listening carefully, giving her support. That was the moment she knew he was the one.
P – Pizza (What is their favorite food to eat together?)
Tapas because its fun to share and they can introduce different things to each other.
Q – Quit (Do they break up? Almost break up? What happened?)
His drinking got heavy for a while due to external pressures. Camille stuck with him. If there are issues, they work it out. They're a team.
R – Rainy Days (How do they comfort each other on dark days?)
Drake makes her tea and brings her one of her favourite books. Or he will put on a romcom.
Camille curls up beside him and makes up funny and ridiculous stories that make him chuckle.
S – Soft (Something one of them did that turned the other into absolute mush)
Drake got really excited about decorating the baby's nursery. He was running around thinking of ideas and what to buy while Camille watched him, melting, because he was so deliriously happy.
Camille found old photos of Drake and his father which were tucked away in a drawer, forgotten. She didn't think they should be hidden away gathering dust so she framed them and hung them up to make a gallery wall in the living room. Drake came home and couldn't believe all her effort.
T – Texting (Do they text each other a lot? What do they usually talk about over the phone?)
They text throughout the day if they're apart. Camille will send him photos of her shoes or her coffee, just something random.
Drake will send her a heart emoji at the same time every day to show he's thinking of her.
U – Unique (Tell us about some of their odd habits that surprised one another.)
Drake found out that sometimes she layers moisturiser on her hands and then puts on gloves to keep the moisturiser locked in overnight while she sleeps. He thought it was weird and hilarious.
Camille found out that Drake can't go to the bathroom first thing until after he's had a coffee.
V – Vanity (Something they’re proud of in themselves and their partner)
Camille adores his chest and shoulders because he's so broad and rugged looking.
Drake loves her eyes.
W – Wedding (Tell us about your wedding head canon if they’ve gotten that far. Or if not, have they talked about it?)
They got married at the Walker ranch with only close family and friends. They wanted it to be intimate and romantic with no frills or media presence. They exchanged vows on the jetty and consummated their marriage by the lake later that night.
X – X (Something they hate about the other)
They can't hate each other. But if Drake had to choose, probably the NFL team she supports.
Camille hates his aunt Bianca, so that's not really about Drake but it's related to Drake..
Y – Youtube (What are they like online? Do they post about their relationship constantly?)
They're very private. They have Facebook which they barely use but Drake does use Instagram and its basically dedicated to Camille. He'll post a photo of her with captions like 'woman crush every day, not just Wednesday.'
Z – Zoo (Are they into animals? Do they want pets? What kind?)
They love dogs. They have two corgis, Cheddar and Olive. Cheddar is more of Camille's dog while Olive worships Drake.
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tagged by: @konigreich tagged me in this exactly 34 days ago but i feel like doing it NOW
FULL NAME: Arthur Ceolfrith C. Kirkland GENDER AND SEXUALITY: Cis male / Gay ETHNICITY AND SPECIES: White British / English. And some sort of human who is immortal. Who the fuck knows. BIRTHPLACE AND BIRTHDAY: He sees the Southeastern England region as his birthplace, even though he doesn’t specifically recall where he was born. It was most likely somewhere near the Kent area. He accepts birthday cards/wishes on April 23rd because it’s St. George’s Day but also World Book Day. GUILTY PLEASURES: Romance novels, 70s pop music PHOBIAS AND FEARS: No phobias, no fears. Possibly abandonment, or being killed by a big animal (like, a bear). FAVOURITE BOOK GENRE: Literary fiction. If it’s not pretentious he doesn’t want it. WHAT THEY WOULD BE INFAMOUS FOR: English Breakfast Pizza, his scathing sarcasm, being #1 at ugly imperialism, his famously thick eyebrows, getting into bar fights and shouting matches over Shakespeare and Black Sabbath, having the world’s greatest Navy for a long time, must I go on my friends WHAT HAVE THEY/WOULD THEY BE ARRESTED FOR: He’s been arrested multiple times for public intoxication now, as well as disturbing peace by getting into fights and/or shouting matches lmao. Probably could be arrested for drug misuse, though that hasn’t happened yet. CHARACTER MOST LIKELY TO MURDER THEM: Rolls 200-sided dice maybe Spain, Australia, idk, let’s not play this game. A lot of people. CHARACTER(S) YOU SHIP THEM WITH: Prussia, France and Portugal are the main three, though there are lots of other cute possibilities! WHY SOMEONE MIGHT LOVE THEM: He is an asshole and the worst at forming meaningful connections but he is also deeply passionate about what he loves/is interested in and is completely unashamed of it. Literature, writing, music, gardening, supernatural crap -- he loves it all and doesn’t hide his enthusiasm about any of it even if it might come across as strange or odd. Uh, he’s also p emotionally complex it’s just that only ever comes through in his writing or once he’s comfortable w/ someone else. WHY SOMEONE MIGHT HATE THEM: He has some pretty ugly pride issues and acts like he’s superior to pretty much everyone around him even today. He’s toned it down slightly since the early 20th century but still. Also he’s often just plain rude and gets some sick pleasure from arguing with someone for 183 consecutive hours. HOW THEY CHANGE: Arthur has changed So Much since the early 20th century and even more so after the mid-20th century. Biggest change has honestly been his newly acquired capacity to put effort into empathizing w/ people (only took him like 1400 years) and allowing himself to care a bit more/trust others and try to form deep relationships. Also letting go of his power obsession was a big step altho he’s still anal about controlling situations and pretty much everything internal to him. He’s working on it. WHY YOU LOVE THEM: Hewwo? Idk how to answer this I started this blog out literally hating this ugly and now I love him sm. I played myself. I think it’s the capacity for change that really got me. Example, he’s got it super ingrained in himself that pretty much everything can be accomplished by willpower alone (something that I think is v embedded into Western culture but also just masculinity in general) but to see him let go of that perspective and learn to appreciate that not everything revolves around willpower/control has been interesting to play out. There r other things akin to this that I’ve been able to develop w/in his character. Also I’m a literature hoe and this muse gives me the space to explore that in a very fun way, bc the way I think Arthur reads literature is not necessarily how I would immediately read it. Also love him because he’s actually very funny. He’s got an interesting sense of humour. I’m going to stop here and stop writing about how much I love my own muse bc it feels extra ttyl
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What is the importance of politics in the pop-punk scene? An analysis of Neck Deep’s song ‘Happy Judgement Day’.
Popular Music Culture Research Report - All Appendices available upon request.
INTRODUCTION
The pop-punk scene emerged in the mid-70’s, taking elements from the pop and punk/punk rock genres and fusing them together. Pop-punk particularly took off with success and originated as a scene in the US. This scene took the DIY element of punk, discussed by Dunn (2012), to releasing music. My research into the pop-punk scene aims to explore the social and political statements discussed through the music in this scene, looking into the history of punk and analysing lyrics as case study into modern political issues. Bennett and Peterson (2004) define the concept ‘music scene’ as a “cluster of producers, musicians and fans (that) collectively share their common musical tastes and collectively distinguish themselves from others”. This becomes relevant when discussing in particular, the aesthetic perspective of music scenes covered in this research. The importance of politics is discussed daily in news, print, television etc. Music scenes also have a reach to their audience on the topic of politics, and researching the pop-punk scene is of importance due to its’ strong statements of counter-hegemony and why bands incorporate them into their lyrics.
SECONDARY RESEARCH
Street (1995) draws on key elements that make a local music scene. These are: Industrial Base, Social Experience, Aesthetic Perspective, Political Experience and Community and Scene. I would argue a music scene can begin locally but if successful it eventually it always finds a way to migrate further than its’ origins especially with technological advances making music instantly accessible and shareable.
Using this approach by Street, the Industrial Base for pop-punk scene in the Midlands includes venues that accommodate to pop-punk gigs such as: O2 Institute, O2 Academy, The Asylum Venue, Rainbow Venues, Barclaycard Arena, Mama Roux’s, The Sunflower Lounge (evidence of this can be seen in appendix 1). Venues such as UPRAWR and The Planet also accommodate for pop-punk themed club nights (evidence of this in appendix 2).
The Social Experience element includes how people experience music, where people experience music and what kind of music you experience. With the last element being pop-punk music as the answer to ‘what kind of music’ that is being experienced, where people experience this music are the venues named in the industrial base section for concerts and club nights, on radio shows (appendix 3), and with it being available online pop-punk is streamed online through Spotify, YouTube, Soundcloud and purchased as physical copies as CDs, vinyl and cassette (appendix 4) where people can take this music on the go or listen to it from home much like all music today being easily accessible.
The Aesthetic Perspective element involves how music affects our daily lives, and how we view ourselves in relation to other people and groups. One way of viewing groups of people is through creating subcultures and identities. For example, pop-punk fans are stereotyped as wearing flannel, being ‘skaters’, wearing vans, having body modifications such as tattoos and piercings, loving pizza, hating their hometown, and ‘defending’ pop-punk (appendix 5). As an individual going to many pop-punk gigs and primarily listening to what defined as pop-punk music, I can argue that for this stereotype it’s relatively accurate to the die-hard fans in this music scene. Frith (1996:109) argues that it’s not about the music or performance reflecting the people “but how it produces them”. I think this is an important difference to establish as this point suggests that musics’ aesthetic impact becomes a part of a persons’ identity as an individual and collectively.
The Political Experience of pop-punk goes back to the roots of punk music, one of the most established bands in the punk movement were the Sex Pistols. Their song ‘God Save The Queen’ became an anthem for punk music and was released in 1977. This song was about rebelling against British politics, being a British band, this was a topic they could be seen to have a passion to write and perform about as it impacted them. Moving into the punk rock/pop-punk scene in the 2000s, ‘American Idiot’ by Green Day was released in 2004. The song ‘American Idiot’ is about criticising American politics, specifically around the time of George W. Bushs’ re-election. “We did everything we could to piss people off” said Billie Joe Armstrong, the front man of Green Day (appendix 6). Even as recent as 2016, Green Day performed their song ‘Bang Bang’ at the American music awards and during their performance Billie Joe Armstrong chanted “NO TRUMP, NO KKK, NO FASCIST USA” (appendix 7). Taking this strong stance against the current political state through their music platform sends a message about the culture surrounding the punk rock/pop-punk/alternative rock scene they represent, and what they stand and don’t stand for. Even more recently in February 2017 Green Day performed in Manchester Arena UK, and during their set Billie Joe Armstrong yet again put forward a statement that challenges American politics.
"Tonight is about us sharing this moment together. We don't need any cell phones anymore right now. We don't need news. We don't need Facebook, we don't need Instagram, we don't need any of that shit. Everything outside these doors is all corruption and all negativity. I'll tell you one thing; Donald Trump is not my fucking president., because soon he will be gone. Because we're the freedom, this is what freedom looks like, freedom looks like this in Manchester. Freedom is singing at the top of your lungs. Freedom is passion and love and joy. We will not be divided. We will not be divided. WE WILL NOT BE DIVIDED." - Billie Joe Armstrong, Green Day, 6th February 2017 (appendix 8)
Bringing strong beliefs and opinions about American politics into the UK creates awareness and a joint mentality in the crowd of people in that arena. Media allows people in the UK to interact with American politics and Donald Trump in particular is almost impossible to avoid hearing about. Making a speech and chanting about essentially being anti-trump is praised and accepted in the scene. This suggests the people who listen to Green Days’ music are like-minded that of the band. Not only is the political experience influencing the song writing, but it’s influencing the groups identity, and the fans who follow them.
With the Sex Pistols, a UK band who wrote about UK politics, Green Day, an American band who write about American politics, there is also currently a crossover which I will be focusing on later on in my research in which American Politics influence pop-punk bands closer to the UK.
The Community and Scene element draws on how music generates a sense of community in a locality. For example, at a pop-punk gig it is a common practice to mosh and crowd-surf to music. Straw (1991) stated in his definition of a scene “that cultural space in which a range of musical practices coexist […]”. One practice created by a music is dancing. This relates to the political experience as there are politics of dancing such as why people choose to dance vs not to dance, how dancing can articulate class, nationality, ethnicity, age, gender and sexuality. In pop-punk, as I mentioned earlier it is common practice to see a mosh-pit form in the crowd during a performance at a gig. The act of moshing can be perceived as aggressive; from personal experience the mosh pit is a place to release passion in a semi-violent spirit but ultimately, it’s a safe place for people to express their energy through the music. There are ‘unwritten rules’ of the mosh-pit culture to make it enjoyable and safe for everybody involved (summed up in the article in appendix 9).
METHODOLOGY
The methodology I will be using for my research is a textual analysis approach. Textual analysis’ micro-analytical approach will be useful to my research as my object of study is lyrics to a song by pop-punk band Neck Deep titled ‘Happy Judgement Day’ released August 2017 from their album The Peace and The Panic. The aim of this textual analysis is to deconstruct the lyrics and meaning of the song and the messages portrayed through this example of pop-punk music. Alongside this textual analysis I will also be conducting a meta-textual analysis of the music video that accompanies the same song. This is an important element to my research as the meta-textual approach is macro-analytical and offers an opportunity after deconstructing the meaning of the song through a textual analysis, to contextualise it into wider societal problems, my main focus being the political themes of the song. I have chosen this specific song due to it being released as a single before the album release, setting the tone for the entire album, also due to the discussion online surrounding this song and the political themes (appendix 9.1). I think this song is also a good representation of the discussion of UK and US politics in one song. Therefore, I can analyse points of the research question and how US pop-punk has influenced UK pop-punk through this song as a case study.
PRIMARY RESEARCH
The song ‘Happy Judgement Day’ by Neck Deep follows the structure of sounds and forms of the Tin Pan Alley musical repertoire (VCVCBC) (see appendix 10 for full lyrics and music video). The music video is set in an old-style school with separate individual desks that each school kid is sat at looking disinterested, bored, passing notes, doodling the Neck Deep logo (already showing more of an interest in the musical influence than education) and generally just giving the impression of not caring. There is a blackboard, formal uniforms with ties, an old box television which is playing a ‘survival for judgement day’ black and white video, a skeleton, a big world map, and a teachers’ desk. The use of this mise en scène immediately connotes a 50’s/60’s throwback in terms of the era it is portraying. This is important to the theme of the music video and song because of the common practice of the “duck and cover” drills in schools as discussed by Schelbach (2015). This is also demonstrated in the music video of the band members participating in the duck and cover drill by taking cover under school desks, further enforcing the practices of this time period. The 50’s/60’s black and white film imagery has similar imagery to another pop-punk album ‘okay.’ by As It Is (appendix 11). Although the imagery on this album cover is in colour it has a nuclear weapon with the same style of art as ‘The Peace and The Panic’; these albums also have the same influencer Mike Green who did mixing, composition and was an engineer and producer for both.
[Verse 1]
Oh, what a time to be alive! Wake up and smell the dynamite And keep your eyes locked tight to your screen And don't believe everything that you see You'll find, modern life's a catastrophe
This first verse comes in immediately with a satirical tone, almost angry at the topic of the current social and political climate. “Wake up and smell the dynamite” seems to refer to the saying of “wake up and smell the coffee” which means to open your eyes and have a look around you and become aware of the situations going on. Replacing the word coffee with dynamite suggests the idea that weapons and violence pose a huge threat in society and this needs to be paid attention to. “Don’t believe everything that you see” could refer to the media, in particular, news channels broadcasting particular stories with bias motives, and online where fake articles circulate. There are also many conspiracy theories involving politics and media, such as:
The Manchester Arena attack and how it was a false flag operation to distract from Theresa Mays’ negative media attention.
The 9/11 attack and how George W. Bush organised it. This conspiracy in particular has been turned into a well-known meme and even directly referenced to in other music genres such as Skrillex and Diplos’ ‘Where Are U Now’ ft. Justin Bieber (appendix 12). At 1:40 the freeze frame shows a sketch saying ‘Bush Did 9/11’.
The line “don’t believe everything that you see” could be perceived as a nod towards political conspiracies such as these, and could be applied to more recent ones such as the Vegas shooting etc.
[Chorus]
Is it just me or does anyone else feel like this could be farewell? Oh, we almost had it Then we pissed it all away Building walls, dropping bombs Stop the world, I'm getting off Oh, we almost had it Never thought I'd see the day When the world went up in flames When the world went up in flames
The chorus being the part of the song that is repeated several times, like all other songs it has the main message and theme explored as the focus. The first line of the chorus begins with a rhetorical question which creates an effect of unity speaking to its’ listeners; almost like Barlow (the vocalist) is singing with a tone of desperation or disbelief at present day political issues, particularly a nod towards “building walls, dropping bombs” which seems to be a direct link to current American politics and President Donald Trump and his plans for building a border wall between the US and Mexico. While having a lot of American politically driven lyrics, “Oh, we almost had it then we pissed it all away” could be referring to the Brexit vote. On Neck Deeps’ twitter account the day before the Brexit vote they hinted towards voting to remain in the EU (appendix 13). After this referendum resulted in the UK leaving the EU 51.89% to 48.11% these lyrics “we almost had it” has a significant relation to this UK related political issue. “Stop the world I’m getting off” and “Never thought I’d see the day when the world went up in flames” suggest a corrupted, messed up world that Barlow doesn’t want to be a part of. A lot of fans also seem to relate to these lyrics as they have tattoos depicting a world being destructed (appendix 14).
[Verse 2]
We all worship celebrities, desperate for an identity But cigarettes and MDMA don't give you substance You don't think about what you say 'Cause your mouth is bigger than your brain It's a shame, so fake and you're all the same
The second verse seems to steer more towards commentary on the current state of society, particularly idolising celebrities more than we should, wanting to belong to certain social groups and identify a certain way to other people, much like a school kid mentality which links to the meta-text of the music video which is set in an old dated school environment. This environment could be a relating visual to how ‘old-school’ the education system is when it comes to teaching about important political issues, which is also further backed up by the cuts to the ‘teacher’ in the video falling asleep and the lack of care while kids are focusing on “cigarettes and MDMA” more than these important issues that impact their future. There is a running theme through the video in which Barlow is sat at the teachers’ desk singing these lyrics, further implying the idea that this music could even be doing a better job at making these pupils at schools aware of current social and political issues than the education system, as Neck Deeps’ audience varies from about 14 to mid-30s (speaking from personal experience of observing others at their gigs and interacting with fans online). Substance abuse is also a problem in wider society so this could be a polysemic meaning. “It’s a shame, so fake and you’re all the same” is also a line that can be seen as a dig towards politicians. In the media politicians are often being slammed for being liars and hypocrites (appendix 15).
[Bridge]
There's a black cat up in the windows of Parliament There's a man in the back of a black cab, talking about the good days When it all went up in flames Happy Judgement Day It all went up in flames Happy Judgement Day
The reference to a “black cat” is often linked with superstition and bad luck. In the windows of parliament this suggests what is happening in the UK (most likely the Brexit decision) is only going to result in something bad. ‘Judgement Day’ is a religious term used by Christians to determine the day the world ends and whether you go to heaven or hell. Barlow is insinuating the end of the world, going up in flames, because of all these poor decisions being made by governments. This point is also further portrayed by the globe prop in the music video being set on fire. The bridge of the song is combined with the part of the music video where the bored school kids decide to ‘rebel’ and join the band jumping around, throwing around paperwork etc. This could be seen as a metaphor for joining the pop-punk, anti-establishmentarianism movement in which they disapprove of corrupt and unjust political power.
The overall tone of the music video uses black and white, slightly grainy film editing for the ‘survival of judgement day’ video, and a muted, dull colour and tone for the scenes in the school. This bland setting once again connotes the dull education system, and could be suggesting a commentary on todays’ education and politics and how nothing is changing by releasing a video in 2017 set in the 50s/60s and making the connections of how similar things seem to be. The lyrics combined with the video enforce this idea of being angry at watching the world “go up in flames” which is the definitive message of this song.
CONCLUSION
Overall, the combination of primary and secondary research uses examples of US and UK punk/punk rock and pop-punk, and the merging of both countries’ political issues as influences. Comparing the scenes, pop-punk derives from the punk/punk rock community which has a defining element of anti-establishment disposition (Dunn 2008:197). Although Dunn discusses punk rock politics and the “healthy resistance to dominant forces” and counter-hegemony, this has migrated into pop-punk as this scene originates from punk and punk rock. He also suggests the idea that the opposition to social norms and dominant forces is conveyed not just in the lyrics but in the punk scene as an entirety. I agree with this to a certain extent, as this angst exists in the pop-punk scene. However, the moshing, rebellious, anti-establishment tone has to exist with a drive and passion behind it. This being the topic of the lyrics. These are after all, the words people yell along with and get tattooed, why would they do this if the lyrics didn’t mean something to them? The analysis of these lyrics has strong UK and US political themes, that can’t be denied, but also a tone of sarcasm and generally just being fed up which can be related to by many even if their passion isn’t completely political.
Applying this to a wider societal context, pop-punk has a relatively young demographic as an audience. A lot of things in common with young people is that whether they live in the UK or US, is that they hate Donald Trump and everything he stands for. This particular song analyses the ridiculousness of this presidents’ position of power, and the Green Day performance mentioned earlier not-so-subtly bashes Donald Trump. There was also an incident at one of Neck Deeps’ shows this year in Nottingham Rock City where violence broke out between the band and crowd vs security at the show (appendix 16). The crowd then proceeded to chant “OH JEREMY CORBYN” after the band left the stage (as shown on the setlist in appendix 17). This political chant for the Labour leader originated to show support for his party during the election. One thing also in common with young people is that a lot of them seemed to show support Jeremy Corbyn, with more than half of young adults voting for Labour (appendix 18). This election was also the highest vote proportion of 18-24 year olds in 25 years (according to Sky News data – appendix 19). Obviously, all of these voters aren’t pop-punk fans, but it opens up the idea of music (even beyond the punk scenes and subcultures) having a bigger political impact on its’ audiences than perhaps realised. These words have power and influence on world issues, with people repeating these songs, learning the lyrics and singing along at gigs. Spreading a message within the community and encouraging people to pay attention to not only their own countries political issues but worldwide issues could be argued as the importance of politics in the pop-punk scene.
Bibliography
Bennett, A Peterson, R A (2004) Music scenes: local, translocal and virtual
Dunn, K (2012) “If It Ain’t Cheap, It Ain’t Punk”: Walter Benjamin’s Progressive Cultural Production and DIY Punk Record Labels. Journal of Popular Music Studies.
Dunn, K (2008:197) Never mind the bollocks: the punk rock politics and global communication
Frith, S (1996:109) Music and Identity in Questions of Cultural Identity (1996)
Schelbach, M (2015:2) Atomics in the Classroom: Teaching the Bomb in the Early Postwar Era
Straw, W (1991) Communities and Scenes in Popular Music
Street, J (1995) (Dis)located? Rhetoric, Politics, Meaning and the Locality
Appendices available upon request
#neck deep#pop punk#happy judgement day#the peace and the panic#politics#analysis#text#general#research#report#research report
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Spider!Jere is in the middle of a battle with a foe in the city when all of a sudden, he crashes next to his number one fan (and best friend outside his superhero identity), Michael Mell, who does not know of his secret. The villain sees this as an opportunity to take the civilian hostage and does so, and Spider!Jer does not take kindly to this...
So, by the way @furornocturna is submitting the prompts, I’m assuming that most of these stories are gonna be Protective!Jeremy for now. Doesn’t mean it’ll be forever, just means that it will be more common than others. Just giving y'all a heads up.
The Birth Of A DamselSpidey!Jere AU
It’s not easy being Spider-Man; Jeremy has come to terms with this a long time ago. However, that doesn’t mean Jeremy likes being tossed around like a yo-yo by his arch nemesis, The SQUIP, who had electricity and levitation powers. That was still not fun.
Jeremy (or as he is currently known as, Spider-Man) tried shooting his web plenty of times but kept on getting slammed into buildings and sidewalks. The SQUIP was set on making Spider-Man’s life a living hell. Why, Jeremy still wasn’t sure, however he concluded that he had a severe case of being a massive dickhead.
That seems about right.
Eventually, the SQUIP began to pull Jeremy back towards him, his body barely moving. Jeremy thought that SQUIP was going to monologue to him, like super villains usually did around this time when they think they have won. Seconds later, the superhero couldn’t have been any more wrong.
“Batter up!” The SQUIP threw Spider-Man with all of his might, making him practically fly for a long moment until his world literally came crashing down when he smashed through a window and slammed into a concrete wall. The hero slid down to the floor and was completely limp. Luckily his powers allowed him to heal really fast, but that still doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt like all hell. Suddenly, Jeremy heard a voice.
“S…Spidey…?”
Jeremy could recognize that voice anywhere. It was the voice of his best friend, his Player One, Michael Mell. Michael had been his best friend for as long as he can remember. The duo did things like playing video games and smoking weed at the same time, as well as other weird activities that only the two of them would enjoy. They swore an oath that they would conquer the world one day, and Jeremy still kept that promise to heart.
Then Jeremy got bit, and Spider-Man cane along. The teen was sure that Michael had a hard-on for his Spidey persona ever sense he saw him swinging across the rooftops for the first time. He even made an online blog about it, acting like a freelance reporter from time to time. He’d do anything to get the story and to watch Spider-Man save their small New Jersey town. Of course Jeremy didn’t tell him that he was in fact Spider-Man, at least not yet, not wanting for Michael to get kidnapped, hurt, and/or killed.
Which is why Jeremy really didn’t want Michael here right now.
The boy struggled to speak, and his best friend spoke first “S…Mr. Spider-Man…sir…do you have any idea where my friend is? I haven’t seen him since the attack happened, and I’m worried…” Jeremy flushed behind his mask, he hated to admit it, Michael sounded so cute when he’s worried about him. He snapped back to reality after a second of bashful daydreaming. After a moment, Spider-Man finally found the strength to speak. “M…Michael…” The other teen looked confused, slightly scared even. “H…How do you know m- AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!”
Jeremy’s eyes snapped open and he sat up to see the SQUIP statically floating away backwards while flipping him off with one hand and with the other gripping on to…oh…oh no he fucking didn’t.
“MICHAEL!!!”
Michael, his best friend since childhood, was being taken away by his arch nemesis. He looked scared out of his mind, gripping onto the SQUIP’s arm for the sole reason of not wanting to fall down and his glasses threatening to fall off his brown nose. The teenager, now hostage, looked like he was crying hysterically, shouting things that Jeremy could not understand from the far distance. He even reached a hand out towards him, a clear gesture for help, finally making Jeremy stand up and walk towards the window.
No matter what, he was going to save Michael Mell, and kill that fucking tic tac once and for all.
Spider-Man started swinging from building to building, trying to catch up to both the SQUIP and Michael. It was long and tedious, making Jeremy’s arms get tired after a long while. Finally they made it to the top of a skyscraper, the moon shining behind the even shinier SQUIP, and the hysterical hostage.
“So, Spidey, you made it. Took you long enough,” the villain smirked. “Help me…please help me…” Michael silently pleaded to Spider-Man, making his blood boil.
“Let. Him. Go.”
The SQUIP chuckled lowly. “Come on. What’s wrong with having a little guest watch me rip you to pieces?” He tightened his grip on the damsel, causing him to whimper. Jeremy was tempted to cry at the sight of him trembling in fear. “What do you even want from him?!” The psychopath simply shrugged. “Nothing, really. I just wanted to fuck with you.”
Spidey smirked under his mask. “Really? Cause I was about to do the same thing.” The SQUIP tilted his head in confusion and Spider-Man used the opportunity to trip him over with his webs and drag him toward him. The SQUIP tried to shock Michael out of anger, but Spider-Man took him out of the villain’s grip with his web and bring him behind a vent. Jeremy managed to dodge the SQUIP’s verifies static attacks and tie him up in his web while Michael cried in relief behind the vent.
Spider-Man was certain that the SQUIP would get out of those webs eventually, and will still be alive (much to his dismay), but the SQUIP’s defeat was not the main issue at the moment. He had to take Michael to safety.
The two of them swung from building to building, Michael clinging onto the hero as they did. It was at times like these that Jeremy wished he could tell his best friend his secret about being Spider-Man. He wanted for the two of them to swing from building to building together, to lay on a gigantic web and cuddle while they watched the night sky, to use his special webs in be-. Jeremy shook his head as he flushed again, only this time ten times harder. No matter how hard he wanted to tell Michael about his secret identity, he knew that he couldn’t do it. He knew that Michael would be in even more danger than he was with the SQUIP, he might even get killed or worse. Jeremy didn’t want his best friend to go through with being his Gwen Stacy.*
Eventually, the two made it to Michael’s room, and Spider-Man let the boy off of him. “You okay?” He asked, looking up and down to see if there were any injuries. Michael shook his head slowly, eyes still puffy from crying. “Y-Yea…I’m fine…T-Thank you…Thank you s-so much for saving me.”
Jeremy resisted the instinct to hug him right then and there. “It’s my pleasure as well as my duty…no need to thank me.”
A stray tear escaped Michael’s eye while Jeremy kept on speaking. “By the way…I saw your blog.” Michael flushed and tensed up at the statement. “Y-You…you d-did?” Spider-Man playfully nodded. “Yea…I did. You’re really talented.” Michael looked to the ground and rubbed the back of his neck while the hero continued. “You should definitely continue, but please try not to go into the face of danger head on just to get an article done next time, K?” Michael looked up and quickly nodded. “Okay, w-whatever you say!”
As a cute gesture goodbye, the super hero patted Michael’s head. “Stay safe, okay?” Spider-Man swung away, leaving Michael a blushing, sweating mess. Hey, it was better blushing in possible arousal than sobbing in fear, Jeremy reasoned.
Later that night, Jeremy went over to his best friend’s house with Mtn. Dew and Hawaiian pizza, Michael’s favorite. Throughout the night, Michael couldn’t stop talking about Spider-Man and how scared Michael was and how grateful he was for the rescue and how Spider-Man knew about his blog. Jeremy listened to all of it, extremely relieved to see Michael smile after the rough day he had.
Michael was safe, and he always will be under Jeremy’s watch.
(Sorry if it may seem a little sloppy. I’m still working on the codes of Tumblr, so if you see strange codes next to some of the text, just note that it is my noobness and I apologize for that)
(Also, thank you so much for @furornocturna for giving me wonderful prompts to work with! The world needs more Protective!Jeremy, dammit!)
(*Heh, get it, cause Gwen died in Amazing Spider-Man 2? Heh heh…I’m still dead inside after watching that scene.)
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2, 4, 7, 9, 11 (not wizzy etc), 12, 13, 14, 16, 18, 19, 21, 25, 26, 30, 31 (ily), 32, 33, 35, 36, 37, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 69, 70 :-)
pfppfpdpjfd GOD JIMI OKAY
2. Who did you last say “I love you” to?lol it was probably u actually !!!
4. Are you insecure?not as much as i used to be but ya i still kinda am
7. What did you last eat?i had pizza bdhfgdh
9. Do you bite your nails?no lmao ew
11. Do you like someone?likeee i like a lot of people but i wouldn’t say i’m like in love or anything
12.Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?yee my record is about 52 hours without sleep, i actually suffer from a sleep disorder
13.Do you hate anyone at the moment?yep ☼
14. Do you miss someone?nnnnnnnope
16. How exactly are you feeling at the moment?really tired tbh
18. Are you scared of spiders?no !!! spiders are cuties
19. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?absolutely
21. What are your plans for this weekend?idk,,,,, i’ll probably go somewhere w my family
25. Do you miss anyone from your past?yep
26. What are you craving right now?c u d d l e s
30.What’s irritating you right now?nothing
31. Does somebody love you?meh this ne finnish dude says he loves me all the time,,,,,,,,,, no srsly, i have no clue if anyone like,,, truly loves me lmao
32. What is your favourite color?purrrrple
33. Do you have trust issues?HUGE trust issues
35. Who was the last person you cried in front of?my mom and my brother dhfghdjsd
36.Do you give out second chances too easily?ok this rly depends on the person but usually i am rough with people. once you fuck up, there’s usually no way we’re ever gonna talk again, but there are some exceptions.
37.Is it easier to forgive or forget?mmmm probably to forget
52.Do you believe everything happens for a reason?yep!
53. What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?i had to pee lmao
54.Is cheating ever okay?unpopular opinion: yes. but like in very specific cases.
55.Are you mean?i’m super mean lmao
56. How many people have you fist fought?about 2 ?? maybe 3 ?? idk
57. Do you believe in true love?yeah
58.Favourite weather?i lov rain
59. Do you like the snow?yep!!
60. Do you wanna get married?mm tbh i couldn’t care less about marriage, the main thing is that i love the person, marriage doesn’t really matter to me
61. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?NO i hate it with a burning passion lmao i’d rather be called sweetheart or something cute. i’m not your fucking child
62. What makes you happy?a lot of stuff, my friends, music, my familyyy, and hdfgdh actually being happy makes me happy if that makes any sense
63. Would you change your name?nah
69. Do you believe in soulmates?I USED TO THINK SOULMATES ARE BULLSHIT BUT THEN I MET YOU
70.Is there anyone you would die for?yeah quite a lot of people
IDK IF I’VE ANSWERED THEM ALL OK ?????? LMAO
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shows to keep you busy and fight that summer lonely
a list of shows to watch when its lovely outside but you’re feeling blue
(I have seen almost all of these myself in their entirety, ranges from wholesome to not so wholesome and hits on every genre, I’m having a lot of executive dysfunction issues and choosing a show is hell, maybe this will help)
1. Legend of Korra:animated wonder
wholesome, pretty gayish although not as explicit as it could be, powerful lady folk, follow up to Avatar which is also fantastic
wholesome: pretty much, intended for ‘kids,’ with discussions of the after effects of war and violence
2. Brooklyn 99: andy samberg is a brooklyn detective
buddy-family-friend comedy about cops that isn’t blatantly racist. watch for the intros if nothing else, easy to digest and watch for ADD/ADHD which the main character has, hilarious, diverse
wholesome: fun friend comedy but has, obviously, lots of discussion of crime and violence, very mild sexual content
3. Community: college comedy? Kinda??
takes place at a shitty community college, contains the character that made me go “Wait am I autistic?” played by the adorable Danny Pudi, tons of incredible fucking comedy, slow start, new funky situations and themes all the time (”Basil did you say, musical episode, 8-Bit episode, and Wild West?” that and more, dear listener!) please watch this, so many reaction gifs will have context if nothing else
wholesome: uhhhhh, yes? no? everyone is a mess but they’re one big dysfunctional family, its a weird show. chevy chase is awful
4. Futurama: animated scifi about a pizza delivery boy dumped in the future
A modern classic by the bozos who do The Simpsons, clever and will make you laugh so hard until it makes you sob out of nowhere, “Want to go around again?”
wholesome: i should say no just for bender, but kind of, you could watch it with your dad but not your grandma
5. Scrubs: greys anatomy but way more fun
squint past the toxic masculinity and veiled weird queer-baiting and its an awesome show about friendship, mal-adaptive day dreaming, and a shockingly realistic portrayal of the medical field. the better version of psych imo.
wholesome: eh, kind of your typical early 2000′s comedy, so in the middle
6. Star Trek (TOS or TNG): the OG scifi tv show
moral lessons, monsters of the week, social justice, this kind of started it all and its a classic, I’m so sorry about William Shatner, he is too I think.
wholesome: i think so friends? i think so.
7. Archer: Animated spies are dicks
do you like shows about jerks? off color as hell, cringey, the main character is openly stated to be autistic and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not (but i definitely relate to that asshole sometimes), features ‘that guy from Bob’s Burgers’, ‘LanAAAAAAAAAA”
wholesome: NO.
8. Bob’s Burgers:Animated family comedy
unwholesome-wholesome family fun, will probably never make you cry
wholesome: see above, if your definitition of wholesome is a little poke-fun dark humor then yes
9. Downton Abbey: Edwardian Drama
are you 40 years old at heart? watch it, get invested, cry a lot, it’s so pretty, there’s a reoccurring golden retriever
wholesome: my irish catholic grandmother loved this show
10. Over the Garden Wall: spooky stories w a historical slant
is it fall? watch this. turn off all the lights, and watch this
wholesome: spooky but yes, watch with your old-enough-not-to-get spooked little sib
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70 questions, tagged by @stan-the-best-stan-monsta-x thx bby
1. do you have a good relationship with your parents? uhhh... well me & my mom generally have a good time, she acts more sisterly if that makes sense?? but me and my dad butt heads A LOT and do not get along very often.
2. who did you last say “i love you” to? see i’m pretty uncomfortable physically saying the words but like probably my cat or something lol.
3. do you regret anything? um YES let’s see off the top of my head: dying my hair red in the sixth grade, putting waaaay too much cheese on the pizza i had the other day, and being such a shitty student this year haha.
4. are you insecure? yES. i mean i have this rule that everyone who knows me in irl knows. like no one is allowed to take pictures of me. or share pictures of me. if they want a picture i have to take it or i have to direct them. there are years of pictures of my growth or w/e missing and it pisses my parents tf off lol.
5. what’s your relationship status? single as the day i exited the womb
6. how do you want to die? preferably when i’m asleep i mean??? like i don’t wanna feel anything so...
7. what did you last eat? pork? and then right after whipped cream from a can because that’s who i am as a person.
8. played any sports? hahahahahah fun fact i don’t play sports because i have really weak ankles - i’ve sprained both of them twice!
9. do you bite your nails? ugh yes... i had three years where i didn’t but now i do. :/ i’m trying to break the habit by carrying an unlimited amount of nail files with me. i miss having long nails SO MUCH.
10. when was your last physical fight? two nights ago, my mom came home after work at like midnight and hid behind a wall to scare me, which resulted in a ninja-like slap from me.
11. do you like someone? the beauty of being socially awkward and anxious and being in a uni where you don’t have to talk to anyone means there is no one to get to know and crush on. nice. :-)
12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours? no, i’ve stayed up for 37 but that was the longest and i was... pretty wacked out by then but that’s a story for another time.
13. do you hate anyone at the moment? if i do i’ve blocked them from my mind i??? can’t think of anyone at this particular moment, probably just fictional characters.
14. do you miss someone? i’m gonna say this really adorable cat named toby that i saw at a petsmart like a year ago. i hope he found a good home.
15. have any pets?
three cats! boris, pepper, and widget.
16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment?
um a little bit numb because i’m sitting on my foot but otherwise neutral.
17. ever made out in the bathroom? no
18. are you scared of spiders?
yeah the story of the first time i stayed up for a full 24 hours relates to a spider. also when i was very little i had a night terror where i had materialized a tarantula the size of me on top of me in my bed and well. that scarred me for life yanno?
19. would you go back in time if you were given the chance? fuckin yeah i’d tell myself not to confess to that one guy. embarrassing
20. where was the last place you snogged someone? never lol
21. what are your plans for this weekend?
crying before i start work on monday. i really don’t wanna go back, fuck.
22. do you want to have kids? how many? yeah! i already made a pact with myself that if i’m still single when im in my thirties i will adopt some kids.
23. do you have piercings? how many? just my ears~
24. what is/are/were your best subject(s)? um well once it was english but NOT ANYMORE LOL
25. do you miss anyone from your past?
no, i don’t think so.
26. what are you craving right now?
surprisingly more of the pork i had earlier even tho i didn’t really like it lol??
27. have you ever broken someone’s heart?
no
28. have you ever been cheated on?
no, kinda have to have had a boyfriend for that to happen
29. have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
no
30. what’s irritating you right now? the exam i have tomorrow. i should have withdrawn from that class i’m gonna have two F’s on my transcript wails
31. does somebody love you? my youngest cat. i am her mom.
32. what is your favourite color? black, pink in your area
33. do you have trust issues? yes but at the same time no
34. who/what was your last dream about? omg k let me get out my dream journal hang on... okay a short synopsis: my friend owned a burger king in this area near our high school (idk??) and i worked there w her, her boyfriend, and a few other people but one of the guys took my uniform which was, by the way, for some reason pastel blue and pink overalls but like shorts? and they were puffy like winter jackets. and then so i couldn’t work but i was still there and then allison and lydia from teen wolf walked in and we had like a reunion bc apparently we were friends lol and then scott came in and then stiles came in after him and i like ran to him and we hugged. idk what happened in my head man.
35. who was the last person you cried in front of? omg... my roommate. because i read a really sad fic and i tried to hide my tears w my blanket bUT SHE CAUGHT ME and then i started laughing while bawling my eyes out simultaneously bc i was embarrassed rip.
36. do you give out second chances too easily? gdi yeah i do. but i’ll bitch abt the person a fair amount first.
37. is it easier to forgive or forget? forgiving is hard but i’d never want to forget anything someone did to me. i’d want to remember so i can caution myself to make sure the same thing doesn’t happen again.
38. is this year the best year of your life?
um no unless the second half is gonna have a really great turn around.
39. how old were you when you had your first kiss? well i can tell you at this rate i’ll be 20 or over when it finally happens
40. have you ever walked outside completely naked? (réka omfg i laughed so hard at ur answer) no i have not. but once i forgot to take my pajamas off and just put my clothes over them and then when i went to the bathroom later in the day i was really fucking confused
51. favourite food?
well you got ur meats, steak, bacon, any sort of chicken. but you got pizza too. and you got sugar waffle cones... i mean like how am i to pick?
52. do you believe everything happens for a reason? i mean i hope it does because otherwise that’s just a big fuck u from the universe.
53. what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
(réka fuck me up enter the realm of exo) um i read exo fics and then i was on @vixx17andbtsimagines‘s blog catching up on her stuff.
54. is cheating ever okay? noooooooooooooo~~~~~~ its not like wtf is that why would you put someone through the pain that’s so shitty. idc the circumstance.
55. are you mean?
no i’m really not but my face and fast-paced walk and avoidance of ppl makes them think i’m a mega-bitch. seriously, at least three of my friends have told me that was their first impression of me yikes.
56. how many people have you fist fought?
technically two but very lowkey. the first one was a very hesitant, light slap to the face of this boy when i was in the sixth grade - i was very scared to do this but afterwards he cried and said i broke his jaw lmAO. and this doesn’t really count but this guy i was friends with was sitting across from me at a table and he jokingly threw a plastic fork at me and out of pure reflex i smacked him across the face. this has happened more than once disclaimer rofl.
57. do you believe in true love?
books make me want to believe it. but i don’t really know. i feel that can only be answered by someone who’s experienced it idk??
58. favourite weather?
just... march, october, and november because that is when there are no bugs and it’s cold enough to wear pants and the bulk of my clothes without sweating/freezing.
59. do you like the snow?
yeah if i’m not in it lol. those canadian winters, man
60. do you wanna get married? yeah i’d like to one day, but when i think abt having the ceremony i get very anxious haha
61. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? that depends on the person?? but i feel like i’d personally be such a sucker for it if it was from the right guy lol
62. what makes you happy?
the rare perfect cup of coffee, music, smyang’s music box version’s of songs, exo and bts crack videos (i die every time), having a good ass sleep with my body pillow to name a few.
63. would you change your name? yeah i go by aluri everywhere because its what i want to change my name to. by this point i’ve ‘had’ it for ten years and even though my family/irl friends don’t call me it, that’s all the online knows me as.
64. would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
well the last person i kissed was in a dream and it was mark from got7 so no, not at all ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
65. your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? i don’t have one of those anymore so
66. do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? no?
67. who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
shocker it was my dad lmao
68. who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? my roommate. which sucks because we aren’t roomies anymore and i’m gonna miss our car talks so much. :/
69. do you believe in soulmates?
if the reason i haven’t been so much as looked at by a guy is because the world is saving me for my soulmate then sure. but otherwise NO
70. is there anyone you would die for? my oldest cat boris. :/ he’s kind of my best friend so what’re you gonna do, you feel? i love doing things like this as an excuse to talk abt myself & it was really fun so thank you for tagging me babe @stan-the-best-stan-monsta-x and i loved reading yours!! and um gonna tag my two mains again @tearsmp4 @bunmyeon because a) i love them b) i have no other friends seriously also @sooberri if you wanna do this i’d like to know more about you as creepy as that sounds ^^
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About two and a half weeks ago, I received an email acceptance of three panels for Wizard World St. Louis Comic Con! Despite the short notice, I was able to rearrange my schedule for an earlier flight into Chicago so Matthew Drake and I could rent a car and drive down to St. Louis. I got into Chicago very early Thursday morning (after recording my new Cargo Crate Unboxing video very late on Wednesday night), took a nap, then re-packed my suitcase for the trip on Friday. My co-panelist Matthew stayed at my house that night so we could put the final touches on our panels for the weekend. Friday was another early day of catching public transit to the Midway airport then taking a shuttle to the car rental place.
When we got to the rental place, we found out that unless we had a return ticket for the day we returned the car, we needed to have a credit card with $100 on it. Neither of us had this and neither of us knew we’d need this. Our original plan of getting to St. Louis in a leisurely fashion with ample time to drop off our things, shower, eat, and change into cosplays turned into driving as fast as we could just so we could try to make it to our panel on time.
Somehow, we made it both to St. Louis and into the convention center at 3:52pm (our panel started at 4) to grab our wristbands and then could. Not. Find. Our. Panel. Room. We knew it was room 151 but were directed first through a hallway that was locked, then outside to re-enter through doors that were locked. We finally cut through the exhibitors’ hall and found the room…with a much smaller audience than we anticipated. It turns out that attendees weren’t able to find out room either (unsurprising, due to volunteers giving us differing information). After brief technical issues, we connected the computer and had an awesome time presenting “What Not to Ask at a Celebrity Q&A.” After the panel, we meandered the show floor, then headed to a comedy panel presented by Aaron Rabe as Cpt. Jack Sparrow. Rabe’s comedic rapport with his audience was great but the audience volunteers were a bit lackluster. We left the con before it closed for the day so we could order pizza and work on tomorrow’s panels.
Saturday, we slept in before heading to the convention for the Caleb McLaughlin of Stranger Things panel. He was totally adorable but, despite the moderator saying something to the effect of “Don’t ask him questions about season 2, don’t ask him personal questions, etc.” she didn’t do a great job of buffering these questions when they were asked. We then walked the floor a bit more before getting sandwiches at a nearby shop. Compared to other conventions I attend, Wizard World St. Louis Comic Con is on the small side. I estimate that it’s the size of Totalcon, Templecon, or Wizard World Madison, which are the smallest cons I’ve been to. The limited number of vendors at WW St. Louis meant we didn’t feel like spending the whole day inside the convention center. Instead, we opted to leave after our second panel, “Comic Con on a Budget.” We stopped for groceries on our way back, dining on snack foods and wine as we finished up the next day’s panel.
Sunday, we went to the con first thing in the morning so we we were able to get a parking spot in the less expensive garage right next to the convention center. I woke up early to contour my face in hopes of evoking more Keira Knightley and less Jewel Staite. I think I did a pretty good job for my first try. Rather than wearing my beloved Kaylee cosplay, I elected to wear the Elizabeth Swann outfit that I made last fall. It worked perfectly with our pirate panel that day. The panelists before us ran late, which was frustrating as we needed all the time we could get for “Historical Accuracy & Trivia in Pirate Media (Black Sails & PotC).” At previous Wizard World events, a Wizard World representative comes into the room at 20 till the end to give a 5 minute warning before ending panels at 15 till. This was not the case at this event where Matthew & I sat at the back of our panel room, waiting for the folks in front of us to wrap up. Unfortunately, many of the clips we wanted to show did not work, but we still had an awesome and informative panel. It’s one of my favorite panels to present, especially because I learn something new every year! After that, we finished at the con, packed up, and got going on our long trip back to Chicago.
Overall, Wizard World St. Louis was a pretty different convention than what I am used to. Its smaller scale meant it was a more intimate show and, had we been interested, we could have met some of the cool celebrities more easily there than at other events. Most conventions stage celebrities in their own section with curtains and lines for meeting them. At Wizard World St. Louis, the celebs were easily approachable in the center of the exhibitors’ floor. St. Louis also had multiple stages, mostly notable a large main stage behind registration where the costume contest and the Rocky Horror Picture Show occurred. Inside the exhibitors’ hall, there were three smaller stages: the Entertainment Stage at the front, where we saw the kids costume contest and an acapella group perform; the Creative Stage in the back, where artists and cosplayers spoke & presented; and the Kids Stage which had magic & puppetry. Down the hall, the panel rooms were hidden away and quite hard to find. Matthew and I agreed that the convention hall seemed much too big for the convention itself. We thought a nearby hotel would be better off housing this convention, given its current size.
All things said and done, it was an enjoyable convention experience. It was definitely more relaxed than other conventions I’ve done, but there are benefits to going to smaller cons. My next convention is the Chicago Comics and Entertainment Expo (C2E2), and it will be interesting to compare the differences between the two!
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Alex Rodriguez is Major League Baseball’s last megastar, and that’s OK
David Lengel: A-Rods fame transcends baseball; plus, Prince Fielder retires, Gary Sheffield demands respect for Tim Tebow and the Mets manager Terry Collins is under fire
All the way to the bitter end, and it is bitter, the fans want A-Rod. On Tuesday night, with Alex Rodriguez bizarrely left out of the lineup by the Yankees manager, Joe Girardi, Boston Red Sox fans chanted his name at Fenway Park, letting Bombers brass know they made a mistake by sitting the slugger who is (for now) set to retire after one more big night in the Bronx, this coming Friday against Tampa Bay.
Can you blame the Yankees for sticking it to their man, even if he was, at least seemingly, provided with a graceful exit plan on Sunday? After all, were talking about player who tried to torch his employers, the league he played in and the union who helped guarantee most of his 10-year, $275m deal during a scorched-earth defense of his role in the Biogenesis PED scandal.
Except this shouldnt be about the Yankees settling scores, this is about pure entertainment. And with the clock running down on one of the most significant sporting careers this country has ever known, limiting the owner of 696 of the most controversial home runs in history to pinch-hit duty is the direct opposite of giving fans what they want.
Yes, they still want A-Rod, a player who cant hit like he used to, but can still light up talk radio switchboards for hours, rattle social media and fill countless pages with pixel after pixel. In an era where content is in demand like never before, A-Rod has been just that: walking, living, breathing, never-ending content. At the next Baseball Writers Association dinner, they should give A-Rod an award for enriching their lives with some of the most colorful, controversial and polarizing stories theyll ever scribble. He deserves it, because another A-Rod isnt going to walk into the sport anytime soon.
A-Rod is arguably, along with his ex-team-mate, Derek Jeter, the most recognizable name in modern baseball times, and not just to sports fans, to everybody. A-Rod has transcended the game in a way almost all ballplayers dont. In retirement, his place in mainstream gossip columns will continue, especially if he sticks with billionaire CEO and co-founder of 23andMe Anne Wojcicki, who was once married to Google co-founder Sergey Brin: know any other baseball players who have landed in Vanity Fair lately?
The NFL has their Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers and until last season, Peyton Manning, while the NBA has their LeBron James and a host of strong second-tier stars. After A-Rod, baseball has nobody on or near that level of national, crossover stardom.
Think about all the game-changing talent that is around the league today: Mike Trout, Clayton Kershaw, Jake Arrieta, Jose Altuve, Kris Bryant: the list of standouts goes on for a very long time, but theres no one that moves the needle like A-Rod, who is known by 50% of all Americans six years or older according to Q-Scores. Bryce Harper, who did make a late-night appearance with Jimmy Fallon in May, and is by far the least vanilla young ballplayer around, is the next highest at 20% awareness.
Alex Rodriguez (@AROD) October 30, 2015
Had a blast on my first time on @fallontonight with @jimmyfallon. pic.twitter.com/Gi3HjYu3rR
Every circuit wants to market its stars, who are the one of the main reasons the Big Four leagues are the behemoths they are today. But in todays sports world, MLB operates well despite the fact that their players have lower national awareness than those from other major North American sports leagues.
The league may wish their national ratings for all-star games and the post-season were rising rather than falling, but in MLB today, all of that matters much less overall. Their digital service, 33% of which was just picked up by Disney, is valued at a staggering $3.5bn, while local television and radio perform well. Their biggest issue is finding a way to maintain the status quo when it comes to the billions of dollars in local revenues earned via cable bundling, where many fans who dont watch an inning of baseball have been subsidizing huge rights deals for years and years.
So really, the model of pushing stars to drive national awareness across Major League Baseball has more or less been on life support for many years, meaning that the days of grandiose ad campaigns, as rare as theyve been, probably went out with Jeter.
As for Rodriguez, well, based on ticket sales for Fridays game, which is being broadcast nationally on Fox, hes certain to go out with a bang, whether he swings and misses or hits yet another A-bomb. As always, A-Rod will make an impact, simply by showing up.
Video of the week
ICYMI: Manny Machado: three at bats, three home runs in three innings, single handedly wrecking the White Sox on a Sunday afternoon. Thats one heck of a third of a game for the Orioles slugger who is breaking out from his breakout seasons. Is he your MVP? He certainly deserves to be in the American League conversation.
Manny from Mercury.
Quote of the Week
Take your stupid baseball team and get out.
Documents obtained by AZCentral.com say thats what Maricopa County supervisor Andy Kunasek said to Diamondbacks president Derrick Hall during an April tirade. The county, which includes the city of Phoenix, has denied the D-Backs $65m in ballpark renovations in an ongoing dispute that could threaten Arizonas long-term future at Chase Field. Kunasek also told Hall to go back to fucking West Virginia.
Whos closer to victory: Donald Trump or the Cubs?
Well, you would like to think that in a week that Le Grande Orange alluded to a possible assassination threat to a would-be presidential-elect, that the Trumpster would be farther away from victory than ever before. However, we also know that Trump bounces back easier than one of those 25 rubber balls your kid makes you buy outside the pizza shop: the Dems should limit any embarrassing high-fives.
The Cubs? Well, whatever was eating at them in July, when they were, somewhat amazingly, just 12-16, is done and dusted. Chicago raced out to a 8-0 mark this month, and their July to August ERA dropped from 4.47 to 1.29, while their OPS popped by over 60 points during the same span. That makes the Cubbies easy winners this week.
How did the kids piss off Goose Gossage this week?
The St Louis Cardinals, down 4-0 on Monday night to the Cincinnati Reds, on the verge of a three-game losing streak, got yet another gift from God. After rallying from a 4-0 ninth inning deficit, Yadier Molina stepped to the plate with the bases loaded and brought the winning home run by any means necessary.
Yadier does it again.
Theres only one thing worse than a bases-loaded walk to end a ballgame a bases loaded hit by pitch. Molina didnt exactly run away from Ross Ohlendorfs offering, and so Goose may be thinking that is one bush league way to win. Then again, hes probably thinking what we most of us think when the Cardinals somehow find a way to rise from the dead, and thats not printable here.
Nine thoughts in order
1) Prince Fielder is retiring from baseball after a second neck surgery forced the Rangers DH to call it quits. Aside from the sad news that one of the games most prodigious sluggers is retiring, it now confirms that then Tigers president and general manager Dave Dombrowski made one heck of a deal when he shipped Fielder to Texas in exchange for Ian Kinsler. By the time Fielders deal runs out, he will have been paid $138m for 34 home runs and a .760 OPS over 289 games. The Tigers will have paid $62m for Kinsler up until 2018, which includes a $5m buyout of the final year of his deal, but doesnt count the $30m they kicked over to Texas to help pay Fielders deal. So for $92m total, Detroit have received an .794 OPS, in over 400 games and counting, with the second baseman currently enjoying his best season since 2008. Theres some relief for Texas however – its reported that some $36m of the remaining deal will be covered by insurance. Fielder retires with the same number of home runs as his father Cecil: 319.
2) Toronto Blue Jays starting center fielder Kevin Pillar is out with for at least two weeks with sprained thumb ligaments, and considering the way he routinely bounces around the Rogers Centre outfield walls and dives into its turf, its a real wonder how he wasnt injured sooner. Luckily, GM Ross Atkins, who is quietly patting his own back this week, has an everyday center fielder in Melvin Upton to replace him. Upton is enjoying something of a comeback season, but has been slow to get going in T Dot now hell get his chance to play every day and make that deal look even better.
3) Tim Tebow is going to try and play baseball, allegedly, and as usual, the media are tripping over themselves to cover whatever he does. Personally, I thought he deserved more of a chance in the NFL after guiding the Broncos to the playoffs in 2011, something a whopping 10,000 Denver fans agree with after signing a petition for his return. Baseball? Well, I was tempted to write that its never, ever, EVER going to happen. Then I saw this tweet from Gary Sheffield:
Gary Sheffield (@garysheffield) August 9, 2016
I spent time w @TimTebow in the cages recently, he’s a NATURAL. I absolutley believe in his ability to play in the bigs. Tim has IT #focused
If you read Sheffields recent piece in the Players Tribune, youd have to think twice about Tebow he demands that you do! So, as per Sheffs orders, Im keeping an open mind, for now.
4) On Tuesday some 15,000 Red Sox fans learned theyd be denied a David Ortiz bobblehead doll, just hours before their game with the Yankees.
Boston Red Sox (@RedSox) August 8, 2016
We’re back home tomorrow night and we’re going big with the #BigPapi bobblehead! Get yours: https://t.co/uQuufP0I67 pic.twitter.com/Y5CzCEb5g8
I thought the bobbleheads were an inaccurate portrayal of David, said Sam Kennedy said. To go further, I thought the facial features were racially insensitive. Sox brass later announced that fans in attendance would actually be eligible to receive a more politically correct doll with a significantly thicker neck once a new figurine is made.
5) Heres an admission: my fascination with Ichiro was such that I used to write emails about him to friends before every spring. Mostly they rambled on about certain stats on how he missed just 33 games over his first 11 seasons in Seattle, or that he would have almost definitely been MLBs all-time hit king had his career started off in North America.
The first Japanese player to play the field, Ichiro is without question one of the most intriguing players in the long history of the game, and his 3,000th hit is just the latest statistical wonder surrounding his game. Ironically, after all these years of racking up hit after hit, my fondest Ichiro memory remains his throwing out of Terrance Long in 2001.
Incredible Ichiro.
6) Last month Pete Rose sued John Dowd for a statutory rape allegation the criminal defense attorney and former federal prosecutor made last year. During a 13 July 2015 radio appearance, Dowd, who lead the 1989 investigation into Roses gambling, referenced Roses ex-associate, Michael Bertolini, who allegedly told him that he ran young girls for him down in spring training, ages 12 to 14. Rose said there was no truth to the statements, which took place before the MLB commissioner, Rob Manfred, elected to not take him off the sports ineligible list in December. Now Dowd is trying to have the case dismissed, a move Roses attorney, Martin Garbus calls a stall tactic. Like anything involving Rose, this latest saga is unlikely to end anytime soon.
7) Yasiel Puigs reputation in Dodgerland continues to spiral. This time the recently demoted Puig was seen drinking beer in a party bus with a bunch of young Triple-A Oklahoma players, some of which were under the legal drinking age, having as much fun as possible inside a vehicle parked in Iowa. Unfortunately for Puig, who is just 25, these completely normal acts, which included singing, profanity and inside jokes, he posted videos of the partying on social media and so now its a full-blown controversy. Management said theyd handle it internally, while Puig merchandise was removed from Dodger Stadium stores. A word of advice to Yasiel: the nail that sticks up will be hammered down.
8) Terry Collins is under more pressure than ever after a shaky week featuring what were, more or less, indefensible decisions. On Saturday, down a run in the ninth and two outs, he didnt pinch-run for the plodding Jay Bruce, who was then thrown out at home to end the game.
Jay Bruce might be faster than anybody on our team for all I know, said Collins. I know he is a good base runner.
Bruce is new to the team, but in the age of information, there is no excuse for Collins: he has to know his players.
Making matters worse, Collins didnt challenge the call at the plate.
Mets fans have been critical of several of Collins moves this season, never mind the fact that he manages a would-be play-off team that hasnt won consecutive games since 7 July. However, few managers have had to deal with the injury issues hes faced over two seasons, and after taking New York to the World Series last season, hes probably safe for the rest of the season.
9) And finally, Clayton Kershaw is still finding ways to contribute in LA, despite being sidelined with back issues until at least 27 August. On Sunday, he led a dugout prank on Alex Wood.
LasMayores (@LasMayores) August 8, 2016
Clayton Kershaw jugandole una broma a Alex Wood. #LasMayores #MLB https://t.co/KK5eI5UkFc
A full video of Claytons stacking seeds on to the back of Wood, narrated to perfection by Vin Scully, can be found here. Rather incredibly, the Dodgers have gone 23-14 without their ace in the rotation, pulling even even with their NL West rivals, the San Francisco Giants, if only for a day. The Dodgers bullpen has played a large role in that success they have the lowest batting average against in innings seven through nine in baseball history according to SI a remarkable turnaround considering the fits LAs relief core caused their fan base over ensuing seasons.
Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/01/alex-rodriguez-is-major-league-baseballs-last-megastar-and-thats-ok/
from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/12/01/alex-rodriguez-is-major-league-baseballs-last-megastar-and-thats-ok/
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Alex Rodriguez is Major League Baseball’s last megastar, and that’s OK
David Lengel: A-Rods fame transcends baseball; plus, Prince Fielder retires, Gary Sheffield demands respect for Tim Tebow and the Mets manager Terry Collins is under fire
All the way to the bitter end, and it is bitter, the fans want A-Rod. On Tuesday night, with Alex Rodriguez bizarrely left out of the lineup by the Yankees manager, Joe Girardi, Boston Red Sox fans chanted his name at Fenway Park, letting Bombers brass know they made a mistake by sitting the slugger who is (for now) set to retire after one more big night in the Bronx, this coming Friday against Tampa Bay.
Can you blame the Yankees for sticking it to their man, even if he was, at least seemingly, provided with a graceful exit plan on Sunday? After all, were talking about player who tried to torch his employers, the league he played in and the union who helped guarantee most of his 10-year, $275m deal during a scorched-earth defense of his role in the Biogenesis PED scandal.
Except this shouldnt be about the Yankees settling scores, this is about pure entertainment. And with the clock running down on one of the most significant sporting careers this country has ever known, limiting the owner of 696 of the most controversial home runs in history to pinch-hit duty is the direct opposite of giving fans what they want.
Yes, they still want A-Rod, a player who cant hit like he used to, but can still light up talk radio switchboards for hours, rattle social media and fill countless pages with pixel after pixel. In an era where content is in demand like never before, A-Rod has been just that: walking, living, breathing, never-ending content. At the next Baseball Writers Association dinner, they should give A-Rod an award for enriching their lives with some of the most colorful, controversial and polarizing stories theyll ever scribble. He deserves it, because another A-Rod isnt going to walk into the sport anytime soon.
A-Rod is arguably, along with his ex-team-mate, Derek Jeter, the most recognizable name in modern baseball times, and not just to sports fans, to everybody. A-Rod has transcended the game in a way almost all ballplayers dont. In retirement, his place in mainstream gossip columns will continue, especially if he sticks with billionaire CEO and co-founder of 23andMe Anne Wojcicki, who was once married to Google co-founder Sergey Brin: know any other baseball players who have landed in Vanity Fair lately?
The NFL has their Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers and until last season, Peyton Manning, while the NBA has their LeBron James and a host of strong second-tier stars. After A-Rod, baseball has nobody on or near that level of national, crossover stardom.
Think about all the game-changing talent that is around the league today: Mike Trout, Clayton Kershaw, Jake Arrieta, Jose Altuve, Kris Bryant: the list of standouts goes on for a very long time, but theres no one that moves the needle like A-Rod, who is known by 50% of all Americans six years or older according to Q-Scores. Bryce Harper, who did make a late-night appearance with Jimmy Fallon in May, and is by far the least vanilla young ballplayer around, is the next highest at 20% awareness.
Alex Rodriguez (@AROD) October 30, 2015
Had a blast on my first time on @fallontonight with @jimmyfallon. pic.twitter.com/Gi3HjYu3rR
Every circuit wants to market its stars, who are the one of the main reasons the Big Four leagues are the behemoths they are today. But in todays sports world, MLB operates well despite the fact that their players have lower national awareness than those from other major North American sports leagues.
The league may wish their national ratings for all-star games and the post-season were rising rather than falling, but in MLB today, all of that matters much less overall. Their digital service, 33% of which was just picked up by Disney, is valued at a staggering $3.5bn, while local television and radio perform well. Their biggest issue is finding a way to maintain the status quo when it comes to the billions of dollars in local revenues earned via cable bundling, where many fans who dont watch an inning of baseball have been subsidizing huge rights deals for years and years.
So really, the model of pushing stars to drive national awareness across Major League Baseball has more or less been on life support for many years, meaning that the days of grandiose ad campaigns, as rare as theyve been, probably went out with Jeter.
As for Rodriguez, well, based on ticket sales for Fridays game, which is being broadcast nationally on Fox, hes certain to go out with a bang, whether he swings and misses or hits yet another A-bomb. As always, A-Rod will make an impact, simply by showing up.
Video of the week
ICYMI: Manny Machado: three at bats, three home runs in three innings, single handedly wrecking the White Sox on a Sunday afternoon. Thats one heck of a third of a game for the Orioles slugger who is breaking out from his breakout seasons. Is he your MVP? He certainly deserves to be in the American League conversation.
Manny from Mercury.
Quote of the Week
Take your stupid baseball team and get out.
Documents obtained by AZCentral.com say thats what Maricopa County supervisor Andy Kunasek said to Diamondbacks president Derrick Hall during an April tirade. The county, which includes the city of Phoenix, has denied the D-Backs $65m in ballpark renovations in an ongoing dispute that could threaten Arizonas long-term future at Chase Field. Kunasek also told Hall to go back to fucking West Virginia.
Whos closer to victory: Donald Trump or the Cubs?
Well, you would like to think that in a week that Le Grande Orange alluded to a possible assassination threat to a would-be presidential-elect, that the Trumpster would be farther away from victory than ever before. However, we also know that Trump bounces back easier than one of those 25 rubber balls your kid makes you buy outside the pizza shop: the Dems should limit any embarrassing high-fives.
The Cubs? Well, whatever was eating at them in July, when they were, somewhat amazingly, just 12-16, is done and dusted. Chicago raced out to a 8-0 mark this month, and their July to August ERA dropped from 4.47 to 1.29, while their OPS popped by over 60 points during the same span. That makes the Cubbies easy winners this week.
How did the kids piss off Goose Gossage this week?
The St Louis Cardinals, down 4-0 on Monday night to the Cincinnati Reds, on the verge of a three-game losing streak, got yet another gift from God. After rallying from a 4-0 ninth inning deficit, Yadier Molina stepped to the plate with the bases loaded and brought the winning home run by any means necessary.
Yadier does it again.
Theres only one thing worse than a bases-loaded walk to end a ballgame a bases loaded hit by pitch. Molina didnt exactly run away from Ross Ohlendorfs offering, and so Goose may be thinking that is one bush league way to win. Then again, hes probably thinking what we most of us think when the Cardinals somehow find a way to rise from the dead, and thats not printable here.
Nine thoughts in order
1) Prince Fielder is retiring from baseball after a second neck surgery forced the Rangers DH to call it quits. Aside from the sad news that one of the games most prodigious sluggers is retiring, it now confirms that then Tigers president and general manager Dave Dombrowski made one heck of a deal when he shipped Fielder to Texas in exchange for Ian Kinsler. By the time Fielders deal runs out, he will have been paid $138m for 34 home runs and a .760 OPS over 289 games. The Tigers will have paid $62m for Kinsler up until 2018, which includes a $5m buyout of the final year of his deal, but doesnt count the $30m they kicked over to Texas to help pay Fielders deal. So for $92m total, Detroit have received an .794 OPS, in over 400 games and counting, with the second baseman currently enjoying his best season since 2008. Theres some relief for Texas however – its reported that some $36m of the remaining deal will be covered by insurance. Fielder retires with the same number of home runs as his father Cecil: 319.
2) Toronto Blue Jays starting center fielder Kevin Pillar is out with for at least two weeks with sprained thumb ligaments, and considering the way he routinely bounces around the Rogers Centre outfield walls and dives into its turf, its a real wonder how he wasnt injured sooner. Luckily, GM Ross Atkins, who is quietly patting his own back this week, has an everyday center fielder in Melvin Upton to replace him. Upton is enjoying something of a comeback season, but has been slow to get going in T Dot now hell get his chance to play every day and make that deal look even better.
3) Tim Tebow is going to try and play baseball, allegedly, and as usual, the media are tripping over themselves to cover whatever he does. Personally, I thought he deserved more of a chance in the NFL after guiding the Broncos to the playoffs in 2011, something a whopping 10,000 Denver fans agree with after signing a petition for his return. Baseball? Well, I was tempted to write that its never, ever, EVER going to happen. Then I saw this tweet from Gary Sheffield:
Gary Sheffield (@garysheffield) August 9, 2016
I spent time w @TimTebow in the cages recently, he’s a NATURAL. I absolutley believe in his ability to play in the bigs. Tim has IT #focused
If you read Sheffields recent piece in the Players Tribune, youd have to think twice about Tebow he demands that you do! So, as per Sheffs orders, Im keeping an open mind, for now.
4) On Tuesday some 15,000 Red Sox fans learned theyd be denied a David Ortiz bobblehead doll, just hours before their game with the Yankees.
Boston Red Sox (@RedSox) August 8, 2016
We’re back home tomorrow night and we’re going big with the #BigPapi bobblehead! Get yours: https://t.co/uQuufP0I67 pic.twitter.com/Y5CzCEb5g8
I thought the bobbleheads were an inaccurate portrayal of David, said Sam Kennedy said. To go further, I thought the facial features were racially insensitive. Sox brass later announced that fans in attendance would actually be eligible to receive a more politically correct doll with a significantly thicker neck once a new figurine is made.
5) Heres an admission: my fascination with Ichiro was such that I used to write emails about him to friends before every spring. Mostly they rambled on about certain stats on how he missed just 33 games over his first 11 seasons in Seattle, or that he would have almost definitely been MLBs all-time hit king had his career started off in North America.
The first Japanese player to play the field, Ichiro is without question one of the most intriguing players in the long history of the game, and his 3,000th hit is just the latest statistical wonder surrounding his game. Ironically, after all these years of racking up hit after hit, my fondest Ichiro memory remains his throwing out of Terrance Long in 2001.
Incredible Ichiro.
6) Last month Pete Rose sued John Dowd for a statutory rape allegation the criminal defense attorney and former federal prosecutor made last year. During a 13 July 2015 radio appearance, Dowd, who lead the 1989 investigation into Roses gambling, referenced Roses ex-associate, Michael Bertolini, who allegedly told him that he ran young girls for him down in spring training, ages 12 to 14. Rose said there was no truth to the statements, which took place before the MLB commissioner, Rob Manfred, elected to not take him off the sports ineligible list in December. Now Dowd is trying to have the case dismissed, a move Roses attorney, Martin Garbus calls a stall tactic. Like anything involving Rose, this latest saga is unlikely to end anytime soon.
7) Yasiel Puigs reputation in Dodgerland continues to spiral. This time the recently demoted Puig was seen drinking beer in a party bus with a bunch of young Triple-A Oklahoma players, some of which were under the legal drinking age, having as much fun as possible inside a vehicle parked in Iowa. Unfortunately for Puig, who is just 25, these completely normal acts, which included singing, profanity and inside jokes, he posted videos of the partying on social media and so now its a full-blown controversy. Management said theyd handle it internally, while Puig merchandise was removed from Dodger Stadium stores. A word of advice to Yasiel: the nail that sticks up will be hammered down.
8) Terry Collins is under more pressure than ever after a shaky week featuring what were, more or less, indefensible decisions. On Saturday, down a run in the ninth and two outs, he didnt pinch-run for the plodding Jay Bruce, who was then thrown out at home to end the game.
Jay Bruce might be faster than anybody on our team for all I know, said Collins. I know he is a good base runner.
Bruce is new to the team, but in the age of information, there is no excuse for Collins: he has to know his players.
Making matters worse, Collins didnt challenge the call at the plate.
Mets fans have been critical of several of Collins moves this season, never mind the fact that he manages a would-be play-off team that hasnt won consecutive games since 7 July. However, few managers have had to deal with the injury issues hes faced over two seasons, and after taking New York to the World Series last season, hes probably safe for the rest of the season.
9) And finally, Clayton Kershaw is still finding ways to contribute in LA, despite being sidelined with back issues until at least 27 August. On Sunday, he led a dugout prank on Alex Wood.
LasMayores (@LasMayores) August 8, 2016
Clayton Kershaw jugandole una broma a Alex Wood. #LasMayores #MLB https://t.co/KK5eI5UkFc
A full video of Claytons stacking seeds on to the back of Wood, narrated to perfection by Vin Scully, can be found here. Rather incredibly, the Dodgers have gone 23-14 without their ace in the rotation, pulling even even with their NL West rivals, the San Francisco Giants, if only for a day. The Dodgers bullpen has played a large role in that success they have the lowest batting average against in innings seven through nine in baseball history according to SI a remarkable turnaround considering the fits LAs relief core caused their fan base over ensuing seasons.
from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/01/alex-rodriguez-is-major-league-baseballs-last-megastar-and-thats-ok/
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Favorite Podcasts 2016
I have a data entry job in a lab processing bodily fluids. I hate the monotonous job, but one perk of the job is I get to listen to podcasts 40 hours/week, time flies by, and I feel somewhat productive.
PERSONAL OPINIONS… -podcasts are best done between 2 people, preferably comedian friends. Sometimes, there can be too many cooks in the kitchen (Filmdrunk Frotcast, for instance, runs into this) -it’s usually best in person: you can sense that in some podcasts where they do it via Skype or on the phone -I avoid local sports talk radio like the plague—so you don’t get blowhards with hot takes/talking points where they have to have controversy to get ratings. Generally, everybody on podcasts gets along, it’s natural, funnier, and doesn’t fill hours. -while I don’t think some of these podcast comedians will ever become household names, they are doing some of the best work out there that’s ever been done comedically. It’s like Howard Stern and what Chris Rock said and I’m going to fuck this up: he might be the funniest person of all time if you compile what he did into a single hour. I feel like you could do these with a LOT of people. But they never will. -you listen long enough, it should feel like a friendship you are a part of. You know the people, get the inside jokes, and enjoy the banter. -best episodes tend to run 60 minutes or less—otherwise, it can get real bloated.
BEST EPISODES -End of World Election Night (Joe Rogan)—Bill Burr steals the live show from Stanhope, Rogan, Kreischer, etc—tour de force that came out the night of the Election while shit was going down. Burr is going for pure humor and some guests come on who have an issue with how he views things in a blunt, fair way where everything gets shit on and everything sucks: but, at the end of the day, his life is not going to be ruined. What I like about Burr is this: he will say awful things that you don’t agree with...but by the end you are on his side and laughing with him. -600 Dollar Podcast-‘Voyeur Motel’—Halpern reads out Gay Talese’s story of a guy who ran a hotel and had a secret viewing station set up above every guest’s bed and he would watch people have sex. It’s creepy, but here? Funny as hell. The ‘Back to the Future’ joke Halpern quickly gives almost made me crash on the Mass. Pike -Dollop/My Favorite Murder crossover-‘Otto in the Attic’ -Dollop does a murder w/ My Favorite Murder as guests. It is wild. -Dollop-‘Bundy 2: Oregon Takeover’ –one of the first Dollops was about Cliven Bundy, the anti-government rancher. This time, his kids took over Oregon—and, most recently, they went unpunished despite a takeover with guns. Just unreal. -Pardon My Take-‘Cat Killer Michael Rappaport’ (first part interview goes for 15 minutes or so) -Justin Halpern’s Papa Roach story on Frotcast—I was in tears at work listening to this. It helps to have been of age when Papa Roach was a thing in the late 90′s/early 2000s (Filmdrunk Frotcast; 3:30 mark on the ‘Best of 2016’: 90 second story basically)
BILL BURR’s Monday Morning Podcast (funniest comic alive mostly does a 1-man rant by himself) 2 episodes a week—1 of which is half throwback episodes
I don’t get how Burr does it: it should be impossible for Burr to carry a podcast each week by himself for an hour, but he does. He rambles for an hour, takes listener e-mail. He is THE only person I listen to advertisement readings for: he somehow makes that funny, shits on the ads who sometime remove them. But it’s like listening to a guy workshop some material and improve himself in small ways as a comic.
I will say this though: when somebody else enters the podcast, it becomes funnier. His wife, Nia. He can play ball with and you can sense him having an audience and naturally be funnier. 600 Dollar Podcast: a comedy podcast between 3 comedians/writers who talk about marriage & raising kids—but it’s totally not that at all and always goes AWOL 1 episode per week—but hasn’t been one in months Horrible title for a show—started off as ‘Wild’n’Out Without Nick Cannon’ but they got a cease and desist from Cannon’s lawyer.
Justin Halpern (Shit My Dad Says), Tommy Jonaghan (breakout guy of the show and a stand-up) and Patrick Monaghan (another TV writer)
This podcast has come the closest since Walking the Room to genuinely making me laugh out loud each week. Consistently. Great and funny stories of failure. Fucked up in the best way and goes FAR down the rabbit hole of topics.
BEST EPISODES…. #7-‘Voyeur Motel’ (Halpern’s Back to the Future joke) #11-‘It’s Called a Vagina’ (when Halpern loses his shit at the 10:15 mark) Dollop (two comedians: American history read to a friend who has no idea what the topic is about. Point is, you realize America has NEVER been great and it’s supremely and endlessly fucked up) Walking the Room is my favorite podcast ever. Laugh-out loud funny friendship and THE best and funniest take on unending failure and, like Patton Oswalt said, being a shit-magnet for people/things. They do live reunion ones once a year—and they generally suck and aren’t the same but I’ll take what I can get. Anyways, that podcast is over—and the Dollop, a history, took over as Dave Anthony’s main thing (He’ll do conversations with Wil Anderson on TOFOP/FOFOP that are fun and closest to Walking the Room, but it’s not the same: he’s much more relaxed/normal whereas Dave was putting on a face as someone who hated his goofy friend, Greg, part of the time and was angrier than he was—and if you follow him on Twitter, he is comically angry and outspoken)
Sometimes, the Dollop can be hit-or-miss and I tune out a bit. Within first couple minutes, I can tell if it’s going to be amazing. Gareth can improv too much at times—but when it’s on, it’s on. They’re incredibly quick and it never tires how incredulous Gareth can get to the stories to Dave’s sarcastic, nonchalant storytelling while EVERYTHING that is happening is fucked up.
I think if they could make a lot of these Dollops into movies, they would be amazing. Some Mel Brooks-ian shit. I would rather see the Dollop’s version of Hugh Glass than Leonardo DiCaprio’s version in ‘the Revenant’. The show got a nod of the head in the ‘Tickled’ documentary.
But my jaw drops at American history I didn’t know about—or to its extent—and then laugh hard. Some of it is minimal characters/events that are just funny—others are wildly serious or show parallels to today.
BEST EPISODES… -‘Otto in the Attic’ (crossover live w/ My Favorite Murder) -‘Bundy 2: Oregon Takeover’ (anything involving Cliven Bundy’s family and their anti-government militia) -Black Panther Fred Hampton’ (not a funny one—but a guy I never heard of who should have been up there with MLK/Malcolm X had he not been assassinated by the FBI/American government) -‘Girl Watchers’ -‘Domino’s Pizza Story’ -‘Philadelphia Mayor Frank Rizzo’ (pre-Trump guy) -‘Boston Busing ’74 & ’75 PT 1 & 2’
All-Time? ‘the Rube’ is the best in a runaway or me. ‘Purity Ring’, Tickled, Hugh Glass, some of the earlier ones are great.
IF YOU LIKE THIS: history’; Drunk History comedy…My Favorite Murder My Favorite Murder (true crime—one comic and her affable friend read 1 true crime murder to each other) 1 episode per week; 90 minutes-ish
True crime is all the rage—so it makes sense as to why this podcast has become insanely popular. It might be easy to shit on, in a morbid way, to go over murders in a ‘fan’ way: but it’s the same way movies/TV shows/news each night centers around murders. The show might glorify people—but there’s a common bent/theme around certain killers and their upbringings—or possible life-saving life mottos (‘fuck politeness’). I can see the show doing more positive things, giving $ to rape kits being tested (how the fuck was that NOT a thing?!?!)
I was aware of Karen Kilgarif because Dave Anthony dated her and she was a guest on Walking the Room. But it’s AMAZING when people you are vaguely aware of find their own avenue. And become stars in their own right—and people you look forward to hearing each week.
Her friend, Georgina, is just as easily likable. DEFINITELY comes across like a gossiping girly-girl (I heard that criticism), but she’s so damn cool, genuinely funny, and cute (even before I saw how pretty she was—there’s no way to describe it and you can sense it with how Karen adores/views her). It could be a really dour show OR droning in the wrong hands, but they make the topic rightfully serious but fun simultaneously in the best way. It is respectful to the victims.
But yeah, they read Wikipedia entries to each other and bring in a heavily-informed obsession to the podcast. But it’s the humor and chemistry that helps saves the show in tone. It’s not as heavily-researched as the Dollop or formatted in a natural storytelling bent, but it’s successful.
KEY EPISODES…. -Live from LA Podfest (crossover with Dave Anthony of the Dollop) -Chicago Podfest (changing point for the show: you realize that they are massive in this episode in ways they didn’t expect—with a rabid fanbase) IF YOU LIKE THIS: you’ll like the Dollop
PARDON MY TAKE (sports podcasts) 3 episodes per week; 60 minutes each I want to slap myself in the face listening to this—because these are the two best young, likable stars in comedy/sports. IT IS HARD TO DO SPORTS COMEDY DONE SUCCESSFULLY BECAUSE PEOPLE TAKE IT TO SERIOUSLY! Big Cat comes across like Jimmy Kimmel; PFTCommenter, however, steals the show—and he’s incomparable (maybe Stephen Colbert for being able to stay in character?): basically he’s born out of ‘hot-take’ culture and mocking it. There’s a format to the show, some interviews, segments.
Yes, it’s part of the Barstool Sports empire—run by douchebags (a friend of mine is cousins with Portnoy—tried getting an autograph for her boyfriend who loved Barstool Sports, he refused), but forget that.
LAUGH OUT LOUD… -Stingray Steve calls the fall of the Berlin Wall (a southern college football fan—they get him to announce each week’s big plays; when they FINALLY get him to call a key moment in history, I lost my shit at work) -Jimbo of the Week (mailbag fails from readers) -Monday Mornings after NFL games where they mimic Chris Berman’s recaps of the games
BEST EPISODE… -Catkiller Michael Rapaport (Rapaport is an actor/personality easy to shit on—but he comes across great as a podcast guest on Bill Simmons, Bill Burr, Pardon My Take: he’s game)—September 6th -Marlins Man/Foul Ball Fan (July 6th) -Martin Shkreli –when they shit on him; it’s interesting to hear them be affable/likable/funny with people they clearly hate. Marlins Man & this episode are pretty great interviews to hear how naturally funny they are, easy to get along with, even while still getting jokes in at people they hate. It’s not easy.
TOFOP & FOFOP (Australian comedian and funny actor friend poke at mostly American pop culture) -Charlie Clausen is the co-host on TOFOP -FOFOP gets its name from the show ‘Fringe’: it’s ‘Faux-TOFOP’, typically with American comedians. Dave Anthony is the best guest for FOFOP.
Wil Anderson is an Australian comic—he’s ridiculously affable, charming, and naturally funny. This is my closest substitute for Walking the Room, in a way, with its chemistry between two comics. It doesn’t come close, but that’s fine. I don’t get all the Australian references (rugby, pop culture, politics), but I don’t need to as an American—because America dominates just about every episode.
Clausen, on TOFOP, is damn likable. I can’t say enough about how naturally great Anderson/Clausen are on podcasts. It’s not just the accents that do it.
BEST EPISODES… -#263-‘Should I Go Home?’ : post-election w/ Dave Anthony I don’t think that’s right, but I’ve laughed out loud with pop culture breakdowns like Game of Thrones, Westworld, or shitting on Zach Snyder Batman/Superman movies in the funniest way I’ve heard (miles funnier than Filmdrunk-but no real format to the show) Inactives: NFL talk, fantasy football…and some parenting
In a just world, Matt Ufford should be a mammoth sports media star alongside Katie Nolan. He’s likable, outspoken, funny—plus he’s a military veteran/Captain in the Iraq War (though he does not come across as that).
So yeah, an NFL podcast with Ufford (Seahawks fan) and Nick Stevens (Pats/Star Wars fan and stand-up comedian). Stevens should be easy to hate as a stereotype of a Boston sports fan—but he’s naturally funny and likable, quick with jokes/takes on a spot.
The first episodes of 2015 are great for Matt’s all-time depressing Wal-Mart riff and Stevens’ reaction or Stevens bringing up the Butt Fumble that made me cry laughing—and Ufford lost his shit.
Also, I’ve NEVER done fantasy sports, but I still enjoy the show—most NFL show (NFL Ringer; Simmons; Barnwell) aren’t funny, have chemistry, and maybe too nerdy—this is wildly funny, enjoyable.
YOU’LL LIKE THIS: football, comedy, Star Wars
Filmdrunk Frotcast: Pop Culture, Movies, Comedy As I said, sometimes this show can have too many cooks in the kitchen. There can be 4-6 people on the show sometimes—some of whom aren’t funny or interesting like Laremy, Lindy West. Matt Lieb grew on me heavily. I found him unfunny and someone who comes across as funnier than they think and the other people on the show let him do his thing, don’t cut him off, laugh too hard, or know what to do. But he’s become a centerpiece of the show and now I don’t mind it. I dig Brendan, Joe Sincilito, and some other dude that’s been on more of late But Lieb does not really have an equal comedically to play with him, so he feels very much like an excited dog who just wants to play but could use another dog to play with. Horrible analogy, but feels right.
The show—and Uproxx, in general—hits on topics I am VERY familiar with and want to hear discussed. I hardly tend to agree with Vince Mancini’s tastes and sometimes opinions—he’s more of a critic than a comic. Lieb mostly looks for pure comedic bents and can derail the podcast, in a good way.
KEY GUESTS: Justin Halpern, PFTCommenter, Matt Ufford, Joe Sincilito SONG: Matt Lieb’s ‘Corporate Birthday’
BEST EPISODE: ‘Best of 2016’ (as an entry point, it does a good job capturing what the show does—love it or leave it. So lots of Lieb improv and made-up songs on the spot inbetween conversations)
REVISIONIST HISTORY: MALCOLM GLADWELL 10 episodes total (on hiatus)
Heavily organized and produced. I avoid boring This American Life podcasts like the plague, but Gladwell does that a bit—but better here. It’s interesting.
Best episodes: ‘Satire Paradox’; ‘Lady Vanishes’..the 3-part college episodes is an obsession and interesting political/social axe that Gladwell has to grind.
RECOMMENDED: if you like Malcolm Gladwell’s books even a little—this is otherworldly as an investigative podcast piece. It should NOT be this damn good. BILL SIMMONS (mostly sports) 2 episodes/week; 60-80 minutes each He gets shit on fairly—and sometimes over-the-top unfairly. He has a tired schtick and thoughts, a HORRIBLE voice (the opening segments on his TV show were due to be a disaster), unfunny. I don’t know how to say it: someone like Justin Halpern has a HORRIBLE voice—but he transcends that because he’s so goddamn funny. With that said, he’s talented, inspired/broke the door open for a lot of people, is a good podcast host, easy/affable enough to listen to, and has good taste. I don’t think his friends are funny or worthwhile (House; Cousin Sal) but I enjoy Jack-O. Mike Lombardi is painfully bad—but I have to sit through it as a die-hard Pats fan since he was in the Pats organization until just a couple months ago. But he gets damn good guests every now and then.
BEST GUESTS/EPISODES: Michael Rapaport, Gladwell, Wesley Morris, Al Michaels, Robert Smigel, Jay Glazer; Key & Peele, Chris Sacca, etc, etc COMMON SENSE w/ DAN CARLIN (a historian rants about politics in a focused way) Carlin is like Burr—he does a podcast by himself for an hour and rambles a bit. Difference is, there is not a single funny bone to Carlin’s body. I agree with Filmdrunk: Carlin comes across like a Right Wing radio host in how he talks—but he’s utterly brilliant. He’s the best guy to break down history in today’s terms. I subscribe more to his thinking as a leftist political-minded person.
I still need to check out ‘Hardcore History’: I hear that’s the shit, but I don’t have time for 12-16 hour anthology pieces. I started listening to ‘Wrath of Khan’ and it’s insane, thorough, well-researched and great storytelling. It’s daunting though.
RECOMMENDED: History/political buffs—with leftist-minded thinking and rambling HOUND TALL: Educational live comedy show where an expert talks about something and comics engage in it in a panel Basically, an expert comes in (a pimp; a woman who was in a harem; Science; Religion; etc) and a panel of comedians riff on that in a loose way. Moshe is brilliant as a host and he has good comedic guests (Pete Holmes; Joe DeRosa; John Mulaney; Natasha Legerro, etc)
SUGGEST IF YOU LIKE: education, in a weird way HANNIBAL BURRESS: HANDSOME RAMBLER Podcast is in early stages. Mainly it’s just Hannibal and his DJ chilling while Hannibal fucks around with autotune at times. He’s been having more conversations with guests lately (Chance the Rapper, for one)
Episode 2—Hannibal’s experience with Air B’n’B’s JOE ROGAN 3 episodes per week—3-4 hours each The podcast simply goes on for FAR too long (3-4 hours) and the topics meander far down the rabbit hole. But, if you’re like me and have the time, you don’t mind having to listen to a 3-4 hour conversation.
Rogan is a far-out dude, gets shit on for his opinions, lifestyle (Hunting & MMA most likely), and politically correct people (it’s overblown). But he’s an open and fair-minded dude, even if I don’t agree with him.
He’s kind of similar to Pete Holmes: long conversations, deep person—except Pete’s is maybe more focused with questions that come up in every podcast (it’s a funnier version of WTF with Marc Maron) and Holmes is just plain goofier and naturally funny. Rogan is mostly an intense dude—who has more life experience, hobbies, and skills.
BEST EPISODE: End of the World election night podcast Bill Burr steals the show from everybody, including Doug Stanhope. It’s unreal.
OTHER GUESTS: Bill Burr, Dan Carlin, Hannibal Burress, Neal Brennan
Pete Holmes: You Made it Weird (funnier, goofier, deeper Marc Maron conversations) Burr is the funniest comic alive—but Pete is probably the most insanely likable; they both should be massive. Burr does the best panel work on a night show: he’s an angry, loveable, opinionated dude, pushes buttons in a playful way. Holmes is a DEEP-thinking guy—who just is universally likable. Even his face, it’s goofy and instantly funny.
BEST GUESTS… Moshe Kasher (recent); Garry Shandling (month before he died)
SUGGEST IF YOU LIKE THIS: WTF w/ Marc Maron—if Maron was funny/looser/goofier in his interviews
WTF W/ Marc Maron Hardly interviews comics anymore since he’s nearly interviewed them all. I don’t bother to check out as much. He hasn’t had as much good interviews this year. I’ve seen him live, I think, 6 times (and 2 podcast tapings that were in Boston: first one was the best by far)
But reason why his podcast is great is that Marc isn’t a whole person, he’s finding himself—and you can sense he’s trying to make himself better and find himself with the people he’s interviewing. He’s looking for grace, understanding, and just being a better person.
Also, everybody skips the openings to all his podcasts—and just cut to the interview.
BEST INTERVIEWS… Robert Kelly (underrated: might be one of the funniest people I’ve seen live—his own podcast has great moments: him w/ Burr, DeRosa, Kreischer on Bertcast was amazing) Louis CK; Jeff Goldblum
CHAPO TRAP HOUSE Caught this only in the last week.
The Ben Shapiro takedown in the last episode of the year was great (they read passages from his awful book of the extreme conservative writer. Helps to know who he is in a way)
SUGGESTED EPISODE… -Post-Election breakdown ‘We Live in the Zone Now’: My thoughts exactly as a lefty on the election & state of politics
OPIE RADIO Anytime they release a Patrice O’Neal, Bill Burr, Louis CK, or Robert Kelly oldies, it’s special. Some of the most brutal and funny comedy ever was done on Opie & Anthony. A show as PACKED with people as, say, Filmdrunk Frotcast could use is actual comedians who are mostly all on the same level ‘funny’ as each other. Except the main thing with this show is that they bust balls in the cruelest way. Endlessly. With that said, you can easily hate the fans of the show and hate Anthony Cumia’s politics and how far-right/distant he has become (got fired from the show)—and still recognize how brilliant he was as a host. There’s a treasure trove of amazing material on Opie that you can put up with the best comedy ever. It’s the original podcast and when they re-release old shit, it’s a goldmine.
-We’ll See You in Hell w/ Joe Derosa (2 friends talk movies and shit on each other for liking or not liking certain movies: it’s Roger & Ebert basically) Derosa has a mostly HORRIBLE taste in movies.
I don’t think I could recommend this podcast to anybody unless you’ve heard him on a podcast with Pete Holmes, Bill Burr, Hound Tall, or Opie. Pete Holmes would 100% be the best (Pete’s podcast to hear Pete’s impression of Joe, Hound Tall) and Burr would be great to see how easily Burr shits on him. Otherwise, you’d just view him as an unlikable asshole.
Derosa has a couple albums out and they’re worthwhile. But there is one that he recorded that went AWOL and the crowd absolutely was drunk and derailed his special, so Joe went with, trashed his special, and just went off on the audience trashing them. It’s amazing. It’s “You Will Die” and it’s the second part of the special that was recorded and meant to be the special.
COULD GIVE UP ON AND BE COOL -Bill Barnwell (NFL podcast) -NFL Ringer -the Watch (TV/movies)
Only because I’m a big football/TV/movie fan—the hosts aren’t very good, funny, interesting or standout. I think they are good, straight-forward writers though (all formerly of Grantland). I listen to these episodes at 2x speed to make them go by faster. OVERRATED PODCASTS -Keeping It 1600 Politics podcasts from people who worked for Obama as policy advisor & speechwriter. They get insider guests/journalists. Sure, it’s mildly interesting to hear them go over current events—but it’s ultimately forgettable. Kind of smug. Jokes aren’t funny. They are inoffensive dudes and centrists. It’s a podcast for water-carrying establishment Democrats generally and I think they are blind to see at how limp and ineffectual their party is and why that is so. I guess the podcast that came after the election is interesting to listen to—and how shocked they were. They never thought it would happen—and they never thought Hillary was a horrible candidate.
I’d say the Ringer podcasts (the Watch; Simmons) the people who host the podcasts are NOT funny people at all. There’s laughter going on, but it’s never made by funny people. I like Simmons, but I can’t defend him being naturally funny the way he would like to be.
SUGGESTION: listen to Wil Anderson, an Australian comic, alongside Dave Anthony cover politics on FOFOP. I started listening to Chapo Trap House-that’s better than Keeping it 1600 and what I wanted in a politics podcast MOST DISAPPOINTING PODCASTS -Serial season 2—checked out after a couple episodes. It tried something new and failed miserably. -Deadcast –Drew Magary is the funniest online writer for a decade now, but he comes across as obnoxious and loud on podcasts. Tim Marchman? A boring contrarian killjoy. They go over topics I enjoy hearing about though, but I gave up. Also, they do it via Skype, so it misses some chemistry of podcasts that do it in person.
DON’T LISTEN TO ENOUGH BUT THINK ARE GOOD -Chelsea Peretti (Bill Burr episode is great—but that podcast has like 3 episodes a year) -Guys We Fucked -My Brother My Brother & Me (3 brothers, comedy—and I heard their Dungeons & Dragons podcast Adventure Zone is great—but I’m not into that game) -Sklarbro Country (Sports + comedy) -Todd Glass (Patton Oswalt as a guest was amazing a year or so ago)
PODCASTS I PLAN ON CHECKING OUT MORE IN 2017 -Chapo’s Trap House -Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History
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