#and i think that would pass down somewhat to his genre of magic

[loveologystudies]

thinking about isat flight rising au.......

[fbfh]

curiosity is a wonderful thing - ch. 7

wc: 2.4k

genre: slowburn, friends to lovers, fluff

pairing: audrey x ben, eventual ben x daughter of alice!reader

warnings: none I don't think?? the word biznautch (which is not a word but I'm sure tuco and saul would disagree)

summary: you and ben catch up while you walk around campus. you talk about the isle kids, and ben wishes desperately he could be as close to you as he wants to.

song recs: honey and the bee - owl city, galactic bloom - bee and puppycat ost

a/n: huzzah i am back from the dead!! (sort of). anyway definitely expect a slow trickle of sporadically posted long form fics and regularly scheduled drabbles and asks. love you guys. love that you love curiosity as much as I do. here's a fit. as a treat. :* (also expect things to get real dramatic real quick)

TAGS @yesv01 @magcon7280 @hopefullhearts @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sunshineangel-reads @dustyinkpages @inejsknifes @tulipmagnoliaisme @ev3ningrain

After the next day, things begin to settle down and go back to normal. The Isle kids start their remedial goodness classes, the boys try out for sports, and Mal tags along with Evie as she socializes between class periods. You find yourself running between campus and your dorm where you’d forgotten your report on your desk after the late night before, and end up feeling that you’re quite discombobulated for most of the afternoon. Ben, of course, is as busy as ever. You don’t think you’ve seen each other for more than two seconds today, and you can’t say you like when things get all frantic like this.

After classes, and after your quick detour to Wonderland, and after Ben’s meeting with Fairy Godmother and tourney practice, you try to figure out what to do until the junior royal council meeting today. Audrey will be there - if she decides to show up, that is. You also received RSVPs from Aziz, Jordan, Lonnie, and Herkie. The main topic of discussion for this meeting will be to plug in with them and get an idea of how the student body is feeling with the addition of the Isle kids to the school. If there are no major delays, Ben and Herkie should be able to get back to tourney on time to get ready for the match later. It’s going to be a huge deal - the first big game of the year - and the whole school is buzzing with excitement. 

You sit at a table outside by the school’s hedge maze, sipping some tea as you finish your homework. It’s peaceful, and the weather is ambient. Your mind zips and buzzes around like a bread and butterfly, flitting between your history of magic worksheet, where you’ll explore next time you can sneak off to Wonderland, how Ben is doing - and by proxy, how the Isle kids are doing. A warm breeze passes by you, and you can smell flowers as it swirls around. Hydrangeas maybe? No, lilacs. Definitely lilacs. You hear footsteps approaching down the cobblestone path leading to the gardens and hedge maze. When you look up, you’re surprised to see Ben in his tourney uniform. 

“Ben!” You exclaim happily, standing up and scurrying over to greet him. He opens up his arms to wrap you in a big, warm hug. He’s a little sweaty from practice, but he doesn’t smell bad. You don’t think Ben ever smells bad (maybe a little bit like wet dog when he goes swimming, but it’s not overbearing or unpleasant.)

“What are you doing here?” You ask, wondering if he’ll be able to meet all the tasks on his agenda without running late. He shrugs a little, smiling as he pulls away.

“I was nearby, I thought I’d stop by for a few minutes before getting changed for the junior council meeting.”

You smile up at him with a knowing, appreciative look. His dorm is nowhere near the gardens, and seeing you was definitely not along the way. But your heart warms that he still took some time out of his blackberry jam-packed schedule to stop by and see you. You know if you don’t walk him back to campus he’ll never get changed in time, so you gather up your stuff, tucking it somewhat neatly back in your teapot bag. 

“Well, your timing couldn’t be more impeccable, as I was just about done out here.” 

Ben chuckles a little, and you walk alongside each other towards the rest of campus. 

“So, how did tourney practice go?” You ask. You know the whole team is really excited for this game, but they’ve been putting a lot of pressure on themselves too. Ben takes in a breath before replying.

“I think we’re just about as ready as we’ll ever be.” You nod, humming in agreement as he continues. “I mean, running drills and plays is great, you can never practice enough. But unless we can actually apply the plays on the field the way we do them during practice - on a good day, at least-” 

You chuckle with him, remembering all the stories of how questionably tourney practices can end up when the other players are more focused on goofing off than improving their skills.

“That’s when we’ll actually see some improvement.” 

You nod in approval. 

“Hopefully Chad will learn how to actually complete a pass, too.”

A loud laugh bursts out of Ben. He never would have said it outloud, but you both know you were thinking it. “Yeah,” he agrees with a chuckle, “that- that would be a very good day.” 

He glances down at you, walking close beside him. Just like how you always seem to know just what he’s thinking, he’s gotten pretty good at reading your mind in that same way. He knows the question that’s rolling around the tip of your tongue, itching to get out. 

“The new transfers are doing well, too.” He nods. 

You’ve both heard countless people calling them the Isle kids, and it seems to be catching on. You and Ben had both hoped that they would be known as transfer students at most - the whole point is to help them assimilate to become part of Auradon, not constantly remind them of the past. But if there’s one thing you and Ben both know about people and politics, it’s that you can’t control public opinion. Or word of mouth. As long as they’re not bothered by it, you and Ben don’t feel it’s any issue, but you still call them transfers out of habit when speaking to each other. You just hope they’ll trust you enough to express any discomfort or upset that might arise. 

“Jay has been… crushing it at tourney.” He says with a slight chuckle and disbelieving shake of his head. 

“I can’t believe he hadn’t had an opportunity to play before now,” you agree. “Imagine how great he’d be if he’d been recruited before now.”

Ben agrees, and a resolute silence settles over the two of you for a moment. If he keeps playing and improving like he has been, Jay could easily land a spot on a pro tourney team after graduating. Ben wouldn’t be surprised if he was recruited before then. If he had been given an opportunity to play before now, he would practically have a guaranteed career handed to him. Probably more than one. It’s so terrible that his talent was wasted before now, and if he hadn’t pushed for this proclamation… 

Ben’s mind begins to wander back to the other poor kids stuck on the Isle. He knows they’re meant for more than that, that there are future doctors and activists and artists walking around there every day. Future friends that he can easily see growing into established pillars and cornerstones of the community. He gets that ache in his chest, that impulse to just say fuck it and bring everyone over at once. He curbs it as soon as it shows up. He knows that the way to make that happen, the way to repay them for all their unnecessary suffering is to make sure he puts in the work right here, right now. If he wants to bring more people over - which he fully intends to do - he has to make sure that the first four succeed. 

“Oh,” he starts, pulling out of his train of thought, turning his attention back to you. “And Carlos?”

You look at him, eager to know how he’s doing.

“You’re never going to believe this,” he starts with a chuckle, “Carlos and Duke have been inseparable for the better part of a week.” 

He watches you closely as he speaks, not wanting to miss the moment when you realize how great this is. He watches as your eyes widen and you let out a delighted gasp. 

“Really?” You exclaim. Ben is already nodding, smiling right along with you, swept up in your infectious joy.

“Yeah, I-I couldn’t believe it, I mean, he was terrified of dogs - his mother called them…” he struggles for a moment to remember the exact phrase Carlos had used. “Rabid pack animals.”

“What?” You can’t believe anyone would hate animals so much, especially enough to make someone else so deathly afraid of them. “Why on earth would she-” 

“I don’t know.” Ben finishes for you. 

“Sounds like-” 

Something Audrey would say.

You catch yourself, thinking better of it before completing the thought. 

“Oh,” you pretend to interrupt yourself with a more important thought, “how is Evie doing? She was having a difficult time in class today.” 

Ben nods sadly.

“Yeah. I spoke to Doug about it. She, uh- she was reading her answers off of something.”

“She’s probably nervous.” You add. “I mean, education isn’t exactly the Isle’s top priority…”

It’s the understatement of the century, and Ben quickly sees where you’re headed with that. If none of the Isle kids were ever in an appropriately challenging or attentive academic setting, of course Auradon Prep would be overwhelming. Ben nods, realizing the same thing.

“I’ll work with the faculty- see if I can set them up with some tutors once they’re a little more… settled in.” 

You nod, about to say something when you pause in your tracks. Ben stops, looking back at you and wondering what he missed. Before he can ask, you let out a sigh.

“Look at this!” You exclaim, gesturing to a section of brick wall encasing a topiary. It’s been painted in shades of green, purple, and black spray paint, expertly crafted into a dynamic dragon silhouette. You turn back to Ben, frustrated at all the potential going to waste on the Isle. 

“Please tell me she’s signed up for some sort of art class.” You ask, somewhat rhetorically.

Ben follows your gaze, noticing the paint that now decorates the previously barren wall. 

Ben chuckles a little, agreeing with you. 

“I’ll be sure to-”

“Oh! Did I tell you?” You exclaim, suddenly remembering something you’d been desperate to tell Ben earlier that day. Ben, used to all sorts of interesting twists and turns in conversations with you, simply files his thought away on a little post it note in his brain, and turns his attention back to you.

“I don’t know, did you?” He asks, somewhat rhetorically. 

“Do you remember how I told you about the wildflowers and their song recitals?” 

“Of course,” he nods. How could he forget anything you tell him? Especially when it’s about Wonderland?

“The poppies and the peonies have begun to argue over who’s going to sing the alto solo in the second verse.” You state as intensely and dramatically as if you were recounting the most mind boggling argument you’ve ever seen. As you recount the increasingly petty arguments between the flowers, the clashing of their personalities, Ben realizes this probably is the most mind boggling drama you’ve ever seen. 

Ben listens intently as you describe the clashing personalities of and different cliques forming among the Wonderland wildflowers. His heart sinks a little in that way it always tends to when you talk about Wonderland. He wishes he could go there with you. It breaks his heart that he’ll never be able to see it first hand, that you’ll never get to show it to him. He wants more than anything to be able see where you’re from, to take it the wonder. He knows how much it would mean to you, which is more than reason enough. Besides, he feels like if he could just go there, if he could stand in the same place where you feel most at home, he feels like he could really, finally understand it. Understand you. 

But he knows it’s too dangerous. You both do. He just wishes you had someone to protect you, to keep you safe. 

“Is it dangerous there?” He had asked you once. “No.” You’d replied with a coy smile. “Not if you know what you’re doing.”

“Do you?” He had teased. You laughed. You nudged him with your shoulder. 

“As much as I know my tea.” 

That settled it for him.

He knows that even if you did have some sort of bodyguard with you down there with you, you’d be the one protecting them. 

“Oh, by the by,” your voice pulls him from his train of thought as you approach the school. “Don’t worry about those papers for the next council meeting, I’ll drop them off for you.” 

He had completely forgotten about that. 

“Are you sure?” He starts to ask, but you’re already playfully waving his concern away. 

“Pish tosh.” You state.

“Okay…” he concedes, chuckling at your turn of phrase. 

“I wasn’t done.” You state, with a humorously serious expression. 

“Pish tosh, fish wash, bish bosh, coin toss.” 

His chuckle has turned into full blown laughter.

“Car floss, hair loss, kiss squash, witch watch, biznautch.” You finish. “It’s bad luck not to say the whole thing.” You counter. 

“I’ll… I’ll remember that, bunny.” You nod your head curtly. “Here, uh-”

He fumbles through his bag for the papers to hand you, which you accept happily. 

“Right…” you tuck them into your teapot, pulling out your messy, worn in planner. It always has a million things sticking out of it and falling out from between the pages. Every time you take it out, Ben thinks it looks so… frazzled. 

“Right right right,” you mutter, making a noise when you find what you’re looking for. “So. I drop off the papers, check on the party planning committee, then a quick dip down and back in time for the tourney match.” 

You look at Ben for approval, making sure you hadn’t forgotten something. He nods.

“Yes. And I am going to go check on the transfers-”

“Text me and update, please?” You ask sweetly. Ben knows you don’t have great reception in Wonderland - but more than that, you usually wind up so engrossed that you forget you even have a phone. Despite this, you love coming back up to Overland to be met with a flurry of texts from Ben. Random thoughts, reminders he worried he’d forget, and anything else flitting across his mind between when you left and where you were.

“Of course,” Ben smiles, then continues. “Check on transfers, meet up with Audrey, warm up and practice with the team, then it’s game time.” 

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” You state, reassuring him you’ll be back in time no matter what. You look down at the rabbit hole opening up at your feet, then back up at Ben.

“Either of them.”

[rems-writing]

Eight makes one moan (part one)

Pairing: idol!Jongho x witch afab!reader

Genre: smut with a bit of plot

Wordcount: 1,738 words

Rating: nc-17

Nets: @mirohs-aurora-society @othersideoutlawsnetwork @illusionnet

Happy six years to these crackhead pirates!!!!!!!!

It had officially hit six years for Ateez. Even though you were introduced to them somewhat during the Deja Vu era, you fell in love with them through their song Desire and have officially dubbed yourself an Atiny during the Guerilla era. As you were blasting every single album series alongside Zelena, Regina and Robin watched from afar with adoration in their eyes and small grins on their lips. The events that had occurred throughout the quaint town of Storybrooke had taken a toll on you. 

After all, you were dubbed as the Demonic Ace for a while. 

Thanks to Henry and his penmanship as the current Author, your DNA had been rewritten and you were known as the Angelic Ace. Thanks to Merlin, your self inflicted glass heart curse was lifted and you could feel again. Thanks to Regina casting one more curse, all the kingdoms were united and Storybrooke was safe once more. 

Which leads us to now. 

“9024 KICK THAT DRUM!”

“MY EGO IN THE SHOW!”

You and Zelena were singing Crazy Form and doing the choreo the same exact way as Ateez had done it. However, you both were old hags (as in old people stuck in young people’s bodies) so you felt your joints ache with every single step and jump you guys did. Once the song was over, another track came up. 

And it was your favorite track off the album. 

“HOW THE FUCK DOES SAN SOUND LIKE THAT?!”

“I DON’T KNOW, Z. BUT IT’S SEXY AS HELL!”

“HELLO?! SEONGHWA’S PART?!”

Whilst you two were freaking out and doing a poor yet original dance to Arriba, Regina came over and turned down the volume, leaving the both of you to groan in frustration. Robin simply chuckled and walked over to you two. 

“Sorry if we paused your fun. We do have reservations at a restaurant in New York so we kind of have to get going.”

“OH SHIT! I FORGOT IT WAS TODAY!”

“LAST ONE TO THE CAR ISN’T A REAL ATINY!”

“YOU BITCH -”

Zelena cackled and sprinted away. You decided to cheat a bit and use your magic to trip her, causing her to fall and curse at you while you floated away. You got to the car first and you were about to sit in the front seat when you heard Regina clear her throat behind you. 

“You know the rules, sis.”

“BUT I GOT HERE FIRST, GINNIE!”

“I know. I would’ve let you sit in front if Robin wasn’t tagging along. Since he is though, you got to sit in the back.”

You grumbled in annoyance as you sat in the back. Zelena teased you and you decided to get back at her by summoning a large june bug and having it fly around her. It was hilarious seeing a mop of curly red hair fling about as she tried to swipe away the bug. You made the bug disappear and she flipped you off. Soon, the four of you drove out of Storybrooke and made your way towards New York. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’M SEEING MY MAN LIVE!”

“AS IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY SEEN HIM LIVE LIKE HUNDREDS OF TIMES!”

“STILL THOUGH!”

Long story short, Regina and Robin surprised you and Zelena with tickets to see Ateez live. Since it was their sixth anniversary, they decided to host an event. Not only did you two receive tickets, but you also got backstage passes so you would get to see your man in person. You were freaking out, but not as much as Zelena was. It dawned on her that she would meet her bias. As the two of you were getting ready for the backstage meet & greet, the former Wicked Witch paced back and forth. 

“Oh God. What if Yeosang thinks I’m too old?”

“You’ll be fine.”

“What will WooSan think of me?”

“Again. You’ll be fine.”

“Is it too late to back out now?”

“Good God. Get a grip, girl!”

You grabbed Zelena by the shoulders and made her stop pacing before shaking her out of her nervous stupor. 

“You’ll be fine. Just be yourself! Well… don’t admit you’re a witch. At least… not yet.”

“But doesn’t Jongho know?”

“Yeah, but he didn’t tell his other bandmates.”

“But Yeosang is in the group chat with us.”

“We never mentioned witch activity in said group chat when Yeosang was added. Right?”

“Well… no.”

“See?! Problem solved! Now come on. Let me finish your makeup.”

Soon, the two of you made it to the venue and showed your passes to the security guard before entering one of the vacant greenrooms, where all the members of Ateez stood. You saw a few Atinys and interacted with them while Zelena shyly said hello and mainly just talked with Yeosang, who introduced her to San and Wooyoung. When you got to Jongho, he pulled you aside and looked around to see if anyone was looking. As soon as the coast was clear, he kissed you hard. It caught you off guard yet you kissed back immediately and gripped his nice biceps. 

You were the only one that had the privilege of touching them. 

“I missed you, honey.”

“I missed you too, my bear.”

The two of you connected foreheads and stayed like that for a while. Even though you guys could handle the long distance relationship, the feeling of having each other in both of your arms was that of elation and relief. 

“After the concert, tell Zelena that you’re staying behind. I told our manager to retrieve you after the show.”

“Am I going to stay the night with you?”

“Only if you want.”

“I would love to.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The concert soon ended and you told Zelena that you’ll be spending the night with Jongho. The two of you shared a knowing look before she departed. When you found their manager, he led you to an empty dressing room. You thanked him and you saw Jongho sitting on the couch waiting for you. He looked up and smirked before standing up and walking towards you. He picked you up bridal style and carried you out of the room before exiting the venue through a back door. A van was waiting for you guys and as soon as you two hopped in, the doors slid shut and the van took off. A minute down the road and you two were making out like nobody’s business. Jongho’s hands gripped your waist while he kissed down your neck and your hands tangled in his hair. You were biting down on your lip to prevent any moans from escaping. Soon, you two approached the hotel you were staying at and as soon as the van doors slid open, Jongho grabbed your hand and the two of you exited the van before sprinting into the lobby. You guys ran into the nearest vacant elevator and Jongho pressed his floor button before he turned to you and attacked your lips once more. Once the elevator reached his floor, he hoisted you up and over his shoulder before walking towards this huge penthouse suite that the guys rented out for their stay here. He kicked open the doors and set you down on the couch. When you gathered your bearings, you noticed the amount of rose petals and fake lit up candles surrounding the room. 

‘Aww! He’s so romantic.”

‘He truly missed you.’

‘Wait… why is he coming back with his members?’

Your eyes widened when all eight of them approached you. The seven of them kept a respectable distance while Jongho walked towards you and knelt in front of you. 

“Before you freak out, let me explain.”

You nodded slowly and signalled for him to continue. 

“I talked about this with my members. You know me. I am a man who doesn’t share, especially when it comes to the love of my life. However, I realized… that sharing you with my fellow bandmates isn’t so bad. That doesn’t mean you’ll date all of them. God no! It’s just… I’ve had this hidden fantasy about seeing you get fucked by all the members and I honestly want to make it a reality. There’s just one thing missing.”

Jongho grabbed your hand and kissed the back of it.

“Your consent.”

You were in shock to hear about this. Sure, his bandmates were attractive as hell and you couldn’t deny that some of them were wrecking you (mainly Yunho and San). However, to initiate something as huge as this? Even though Jongho said he was ok with it, you didn’t know deep if you were ok with it. Furthermore, you also thought about what would happen if you didn’t do it. Sure, Jongho and the rest of Ateez will understand, but you’d feel bad for not indulging in one of his fantasies. He indulged in so many of yours. 

Might as well return the favor. 

Right?

“Um… ok then. I think… I’ll do it.”

“Are you sure? Because once we get started, there’s no going back. Unless we do something that you definitely don’t like. In that case, we’ll back off.”

“I’m positive, Jongho. I want to try this out. I’ve got nothing to lose.”

Jongho smiled his precious gummy smile and hugged you tightly before kissing the side of your head. When he let go, he turned around and saw the 98 liners approach you first. Jongho caressed your cheek and kissed your lips lightly. 

“We’ve arranged it in the order of our unit tracks.”

OH! OK THEN!

“Matz first.”

Seonghwa and Hongjoong kissed both corners of your mouth delicately and retracted slowly. 

“WooSanSang second.”

‘Can’t wait for Zelena to hear about this!’ You thought in the back of your mind.

“YunGi third.”

The tall towers leaned down to whisper in your ear sensually. 

“Hi there, angel.” Yunho said in your left ear deeply. 

“Hey there, baby girl.” Mingi said in your right ear deeply and huskily.

You gulped nervously as they retracted themselves. 

“Lastly, me.”

You saw Jongho kneel in front of you once more and smirk before kissing the tip of your nose. He soon retracted and signalled for Seonghwa and Hongjoong to go first. The 99 liners and Jongho soon all backed up and went into the separate rooms the penthouse had. Seonghwa sat on the couch and pulled you onto his lap while Hongjoong held your chin and made you look up at him. 

“Ready to have some fun?”

[ethereal-engene]

brightest of them all | woozi

pairing: bf!jihoon x gn!reader

genre: fluff // warnings: mentions of food & not proof-read

summary: when dropping by your boyfriend’s studio turns into him making a song of out of your poem // word count: ~1265

note: fully inspired by this post from @imagine-svt everyone say thank you to Aeris for her ideas and happy woozi day <3

100% in love with this concept b/c I is a poet myself so yeah :) (I’m using a line or two from one of my original pieces)

You decided to drop by Woozi’s studio to share some cake together and spend some time with him because you missed him so much. With Seventeen finishing up another stop for their Be The Sun tour, they must be tired but you knew Jihoon would be at the studio for god knows what. He’s either married to the music or the gym.

Knocking on the door until you’re met with Jihoon’s face wearing a somewhat annoyed face. His facial expression softened when his eyes registered that it's you. Right then and there, he opens the door for you to come in.

When you set down your things and look at him. He’s staring at you with tired eyes but still full of love. Noticing it, you open your arms and watch as he leans into them. A sigh comes out. “God, I forgot how much I really missed you. Tour is fun but it’d be funnier if you were there, my love. Also what’d you think of dream?”

A drawn hum is heard from you. “It’s a really catchy and heartfelt song. Honestly I wasn't expecting it but you know I’ll always love your music. I seriously can’t get over how skilled you are in penning lyrics. They’re always so meaningful… okay well most of the time. And you know I wish I could join y’all on tour but unfortunately I have a full-time job that isn’t being an idol.”

He gets up after hearing that because he has to say what he’s about to say next to your face. “My love, I appreciate your kind words and I really believe that you would be great at writing lyrics too. Like have you seen and read the poems you’ve written? They’d make such great lyrics and in fact, let’s go write a song with them right now!”

And with that, he got up first from the sofa and held out his hand. Without a second thought, you took it and tried to pull him back down to sit but failed. “Now, I don’t doubt it but can’t we do that another day? You just got back from Japan and are going to leave in a couple days again. And plus I got us this!”

You hold up the slice of cake with a smile on your face.

“Happy birthday, my red ruby!” You give him a kiss on the cheek before revealing what the cake looks like. The cake has a little ruby guitar and of course the letters spelling out happy birthday to Jihoon. If he could melt into a puddle right now, he would. He’s left speechless for a few seconds before thanking you.

“Uji…I know it’s your birthday and all but could I record a video of you with your cake saying shit this is red too? If you say yes, we can work on turning my poem into a song!”

He should have seen this coming from miles away because you haven’t stopped with the “shit, this is red too” jokes since Ruby came out. Jihoon rolls his eyes at your request but says yes. He won’t ever tell you out loud but he enjoys hearing them from you but also he does want to help you see how good at writing you are too. After recording the video, you send it to the seventeen & you group chat. Receiving multiple ㅋㅋㅋ messages from them. Then you two finally enjoy the cake together.

Not even a minute passes as you two devour the cake, he immediately holds your hand to go to where all of the magic happens. “Alright, my love. Show me one of your poems & we’ll go from there.” You nod and show him the poem.

Brightest of them all

They say to reach for the stars but what if I’ve already caught the brightest of them all?

“This kind of fits dream’s concept ever so slightly and it’s a sweet poem. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this poem is about me but I don’t think it is.” He wonders about who this is about but is brought out of his head when you answer him.

“Hmm originally I didn’t have a person in mind but now that I have you, you could say it’s about you.” Jihoon turns to you and does nothing but stare at you. He’s so in love with you and he hopes that you know that just like your poem, you light up his life too. Heart eyes are practically shooting out of his eyes.

He responds with a cute awww before returning to look at the poem that could essentially be a verse and parts of a chorus. However, he’s probably going to just focus on what’s on hand right now just to prove his point. So you two spend a good chunk of time going through what Woozi and his mastermind is thinking for this.

Starting to play around with samples of twinkles to emulate a star and being satisfied with the choices, Jihoon works his magic by creating a new rhythm and beat. He’s not doing it alone though, he gets your input at each step. Seeing if there’s something that could be changed to sound better or not. He smiles every time when he glances over at you having as much fun as him doing this. Thinking to himself, he’s got to do this with you more often. Imagine how powerful y’all would be penning lyrics together and more. Y’all would be unstoppable.

Now the final step of this process is having you two singing the lyrics or lines from your poem. Jihoon decided that because this was your poem, he didn’t want to change it unless you wanted to. You took that chance and removed or added a few words to make it flow better. Even if you weren’t the best at singing, he helped you get comfortable with it and guided you as he does with the members. Besides this was all for fun and only for your ears to hear.

Hearing the final product made your heart swell. It was a really cute snippet of what could be a full song. Seeing your reaction made Jihoon fall more in love with you if possible. “See, I told you. Your writing is just as good or even better than I am with song-writing!!” His arms folded and wearing a smirk. You can’t even hate or attempt to look annoyed at him. You’re still in awe of how good this turned out. “Yeah yeah whatever. It’s not like I didn’t believe you, geez.” You ended up pouting a little before he kissed it away.

“I know I know, I’m just saying. If you ever wanted to go into song-writing or the music industry, I’ve got you.”

“Yeah, I know Uji and for the record baby. I think you are THE music industry mister genius singer-songwriter producer dancer performer composer all-rounder woozi of seventeen.” He chuckles and hides into your shoulder. It sounds like today you were on a mission to get him all flushed and blushed with all of the compliments, well at least more than usual. What can you say? You’ve mastered making your boyfriend turn into a ruby. (Not sure if that made sense but essentially making him blush a lot that his face is as red as a ruby)

Little bonus: he ends up re-recording what y’all made with his own voice to share with everyone on twitter with the caption: “the brightest of them all” which is the title of the poem :)

WAH HAPPY UJI DAY GUYS !! I hope you enjoyed this and I love him sm and really love this idea a little too much. Thank you so much for reading 

If you enjoyed it as well please do interact by sending in an ask, leaving a note, reblogging with tags, or even messaging me! Or if you didn’t like it, that’s fine too

signing off with love for woozi

- ash

[gracesshelves]

The Bromance Book Club by Lyssa Kay Adams

Usually, TikTok romance books are not my thing, but The Bromance Book Club by Lyssa Kay Adams surprised me. I would rate this novel three out of five stars. At first, I wasn’t quite sure how to feel about it, but after the first hundred pages I could not put it down; at one point I was reading it at a red light on the way home from work. Some moments were a bit too cheesy for my taste, and I had a hard time relating to the characters. I think part of this is because I am definitely not the target audience for this book, which I assume is cis-het married women, most likely millennials. However, Adams was able to get me invested in the stakes of the story. I was genuinely interested in whether or not Gavin and Thea would be able to fix their relationship. Honestly, I’m glad that I did not know this book got popular off BookTok, because that would have influenced my perception of it. What I admired the most about this book was its exploration of the mental load placed on stay-at-home moms (SAHM), and how that can ruin marriages.

            The novel follows Gavin Scott, a major league baseball player, who is having marital troubles with his wife, Thea. What seems like a problem with their sex life, is actually much worse. Gavin and Thea are forced to confront parts of themselves they’ve been hiding in order to avoid getting divorced. Gavin grew on me throughout the story. At the beginning, I struggled to sympathize with him because I felt that he should’ve been able to notice that his wife was faking an orgasm. However, as he continued to apply himself and make an effort to become a better person and husband, he did not bother me so much. With the romance genre specifically, the likeability of characters is big for me. By the end of the book, Gavin passed the test. As for Thea, I thought she was very complex, and I thought the way that her trauma wasn’t just magically solved was very true to life. Unlearning thought patterns you’ve had your whole life does not just change overnight. It was important to me that she wasn’t perfect either, they were two flawed individuals, which made them more relatable.

            One thing I did struggle with was how heteronormative all the relationships were, although, I think this is due to the fact that I am not the target audience. As a queer reader, I would honestly prefer an author to avoid depicting queer characters rather than write them incorrectly, but it did make it difficult for me to empathize with some of what Gavin did. I probably would not have picked this book up on my own, even though I do enjoy romance. But on the other hand, I have read BookTok books that I disliked much more in comparison.

            Going back to what I said earlier, I appreciated how Adam’s presented the discussion of mental load, and how much work is put on women, especially SAHM’s. It could be argued that this discussion is somewhat surface level, but I think even just brushing on it is better than nothing. For most of their marriage, Thea has been raising kids by herself, and when Gavin was present, she had to attend events as a wife of a player (Adams 21). The load placed on her stood out the most when the Scott family got home from Thanksgiving. While it’s important that Gavin helps Thea clean up after the girl’s vomited, he continuously has to ask questions about where things are even though he lives there. (Adams 150-151). Thea already has a lot on her mind with cleaning the girls themselves, and by asking her that instead of looking himself, Gavin only adds to her plate. This discussion reflects the current conversations of mothers on social media. A lot of women in heterosexual relationships are speaking out online about how exhausted they are. Nowadays, many women have corporate jobs on top of being parents, but the distribution of household labor is slow to change. While some heterosexual couples have adapted and evenly split parenting and household duties, there is still a huge issue with women being expected to clean, cook, and parent on top of a nine to five. A Gallup poll found that despite an increase in equity regarding household tasks since 1990, “the division of labor in U.S. households remains largely tilted toward traditional stereotypes: Women are more likely than their husbands to take care of the house and children, and men remain the primary caretakers of the car and the yard.” (Brenan).

            If this was book wanted to be a more serious critique on relationships, I’d have a lot more issues with it, but for a light-hearted contemporary romance I think this was pretty successful.

Adams, Lyssa Kay. The Bromance Book Club. Berkley Romance, 2022.

Brenan, Megan. “Women Still Handle Main Household Tasks in U.S.” Gallup.com, Gallup Inc., 31 May 2023, news.gallup.com/poll/283979/women-handle-main-household-tasks.aspx.

[radishwizard]

some vaguely incoherent yelling about goblin emperor + politics + genre beyond the read more (just to be clear by some i mean a whole wall of text)

(fyi goblin emperor is one of my favorite books i just also like engaging with things i like in critical ways)

i started my day by verifying at approx 4 am that maggie stiefvater named herself after margaret thatcher (true btw) so i've been thinking about neoliberalism and --

i've always really disliked celehar's letter at the end of goblin emperor because for a guy that in theory is an impartial investigator it reads to me as incredibly dismissive and judgmental of the Curneisei philosophy: like yeah i mean i don't disagree there's stuff there that's questionable but also there's some stuff that isn't re: wanting more power for the working class -- celehar even acknowledges this by saying that he can understand and sympathize with the desire to improve their lives. (they are, presumably, underpaid, overworked, and experiencing dangerous labor conditions.) (i disliked this letter + celehar by association so much that i put off reading witness for the dead for ages lol but i was very brave and read it this week and i enjoyed it. tea culture!)

(in contrast i actually like maia's interaction with shulivar -- i think that it makes sense that maia would have a somewhat naive understanding of the impact of the existence of his government and would be shocked and discomfited by the truth of shulivar's words -- so it feels to me less like a good/bad moral judgement is being passed (as in celehar's letter) and more like a broadening of maia's worldview. i also like that shulivar presents his actions as just a beginning, not an end-all to change)

similarly the plot against elhokar in words of radiance (stormlight archive) has also always really bothered me -- i know there's a lot of other stuff going on there with like moash's personal vengeance and the Diagram and whatever but -- if you have like, a societal problem (class/racial inequality) just putting a different king in power who will still 100% uphold that system is ??? not ??? going to solve anything ???? you'll just have another shitty inbred ruler a couple years or decades down the line.

i guess my point here is that it's kind of wild to me that in both of these worlds this kind of "gentle neoliberalism" is upheld by even the most extremist radicals (change for the better as a result of only a change in leadership; social change as a result of individuals in power being "good"; rebellion seeking change only through that leadership turnover and not anything structural or systemic -- and even that kind of rebellion being denounced as unethical because of its impact on individuals). it's a viewpoint that exists in actual real life politics ("vote and all our problems will be solved!") but i think it's also kind of a genre problem? like i'm very much anti-monarchy irl but when it's zuko fire lord post-canon fanfic suddenly i'm like yeah okay king! i guess part of it is being invested in the individuals in power as people with their own narratives more than the (fictional) society and its injustices (a very different perspective than with irl politics), but i do think there's also a genre expectation of a fantasy setting having some kind of hereditary leadership. i am much more willing to accept a monarchy in a book with magic in it than i am in real life. (maybe that's just a me problem.)

i feel like most of the fantasy i read is either like this (monarchy is ok when we like the characters involved in it) or has the government as No Nuance Big Bad. i'd love to read more fiction that does both: monarchy is a bad idea but also we like the people who are doing it so it's complicated. and fiction that has rebellion for actual societal change beyond just killing one king to get another (please !) -- i mean don't get me wrong i still want to read things that are hopeful and are optimistic about social change, just maybe that's like, the power fantasy of a bunch of teens tearing down a government entirely rather than just those teens putting a different person (a "good guy") on the exact same throne. (in fairness to zuko btw the atla extended lore does tackle some of this and i have read some pretty solid fanfic that does even more)

within the world of goblin emperor, i feel like there are moments that get close to the "it doesn't matter whether you're 'good' because the system itself is broken" -- things like varenechibel also wanting to build the bridge across the istandaärtha or maia being able to delay vedero's marriage but not change that he still controls the fate of the drazhadeise women -- but it could go further. i would really love to see maia having to confront the implications of being an emperor beyond what we've seen thus far: things like learning the history of the conquered peoples within the empire and having to come to terms with whatever genocide and cultural erasure shaped the ethuveraz. (i haven't read grief of stones yet so i can't speak for that but i don't think we've seen that aspect of empire in canon. also i'm lying i don't actually want to see that bc i really don't want a direct sequel to TGE but like maybe indirectly through the amalo books or maybe just in fanfic) also i think a like, shulivar pov in the style of "fantasy novel where the good guys take down bad government" would be incredible.

any way these are my takeaways:

i will read more books

(maybe not raven boys though)

happy new year! :-)

p.s. also i dont really know what i'm talking about i'm just a guy on the internet who is trying to connect dots i'm not a political scientist or anything please don't yell at me (do dm me to talk about goblin emp tho my only friend who's read it is still asleep. goddamn time zones) p.p.s. i'm using neoliberal here to refer to a kind of attitude of "a particular kind of status quo is good actually (even though at least nominally we want social change)" which is how i typically see it being used in Internet Discourse. i think there's prob more poli sci definitions out there that are more specific/accurate

p.p.p.s. if you're interested in this + like reading things that are actually coherent try this (altho i hate the title. i know here it's probably for clicks so whatever but infantilizing non-infant characters is a big pet peeve of mine. the phrase "cinnamon roll" my beloathed)

[minjoonalist]

Alexithymia. | JJK [Teaser]

Pairing: Demon!Jungkook x Reader [Ft.ot7]

Rating: Mature +18

Genre: smut, light angst, fluff, SoulmatesAU 

Description:  Jungkook always had a pull to you. An unexplainable connection that brings him to your side daily, like a permanent routine. Is it a hobby? An obsession? Or was the centuries old prince just bored? No, boredom doesn’t make his heart race. It’s not supposed to make him lose his own self control, or fill him with blinding rage, and it certainly isn’t supposed to have him hallucinating the strangest things until it drives him back home for answers. Maybe he’s just been stressed and he thought that it’d be better to wait than to return, but the longer the prince spends his time away, the more he realizes he has absolutely no Idea what emotions have been festering since the very beginning. What happens if he could just turn them off?

Song Inspo: Pretty- The Weeknd, Waves- Normani, Softcore- The Neighbourhood, Middle Of The Night- Elley Duhe

 “Y/n, how many do you see of me?” Jungkook goes on to ask, waving an inked hand in front of your eyes that you definitely weren’t following.

You then squint as if you were thinking hard about the question. 

“Ummmm...di- you always h-have a twin?” You hiccup.

The man suddenly frowned under all the ruckus and music...There was no way you were getting home without him.

 How are you suddenly this reckless?

Irritated, Jungkook grabs your hand without warning and leads you out of the area with haste, before anyone or anything could target you again. He then leads both of you out of the club and onto the sidewalks of the dark, empty street. 

You tried your best to keep your stomach down, groaning as the big scary man walked both of you out of sight and into a dark alley beside the busy building.  Thankfully you were too drunk to comprehend much, that meant Jungkook didn’t have to go through the miserable task of walking you home. Instead, all he had to do was keep you beside him- an arm grabbing you and pulling you so close to him, anyone would assume both of you were just an average couple. 

You two are most definitely not... well you were pretty normal, Jungkook was the one that just couldn’t stay away from you. 

He doesn’t know if it was because of how pissed he was or maybe he was just too focused to pay attention to your heartbeat speeding up from the close proximity, but he definitely missed your audible gasp from the move.

It clearly didn’t matter, the one goal he had for that night was to make sure he got you home safe. Which, technically... he did- but it wasn’t as quick and simple as he’d foolishly hoped it would be.  

The only way to describe your sudden transition, would be as if the both of you were just walking casually down the alley way of the city and when he hugged you closer, a two second blur passes over your eyes and you were suddenly walking through the entrance of your apartment. There was no sound, no sparkles or magical effects to signify the inhuman move...just him.

Jungkook immediately removes himself completely from you, stepping away to another part of your living room as if he couldn’t stand to be any closer. 

“Go to bed.” He then suggests, with a somewhat disappointed gaze.

Somehow... that hurt both him and you to say. 

You pout suddenly trying to sober yourself up and you didn’t want him to go away again. You wanted to know more, you couldn’t understand why when you shut him out and clearly wanted nothing to do with him.

“ But I-...you...?”

Normally there would have been more fight in you from the command, but with the after effects of all those drinks, your body felt as if it was ready to shut down any moment.

Even Jungkook could sense your low energy, watching your uneven stance  as you were swaying side to side but ultimately trying to keep yourself awake enough to say something to him. The man was seriously starting to question why he even had such a strong pull to you- but the second he noticed your body swaying a bit too far for his liking, all those thoughts had shot out the window. 

 Jungkook had sprung forward from the distance he tried putting between both of you– catching you within  unreal speed before your entire body could collide with the floor. Instead you had landed safely within his arms, the man groaning in exhaustion that he now had to walk with you all the way to your bedroom, because there was no point using up more of his energy to teleport both of you there when it was only a few feet away. Still, it was never supposed to go this far and you definitely weren’t supposed to meet him again after the last time he helped.

Why were situations like this becoming so damn hard?

 COMING VERY SOON. 

Also if anyone would like to to be tagged for the release, Just comment or shoot me an ask!

[willowedwisteria]

⁂~And then, they smiled, that's what I'm after~⁂

Summary -> Oh, the things your acolyte would do to see that smile again.

Note -> Probably going to make an angst version sooner or later.

Featuring -> Diluc, The Tsaritsa

Genre -> Fluff

Diluc

Diluc slowly examined the books neatly stored in his personal bookshelf. His fingers slowly hovered over each book, occasionally pulling out the book to skim through the pages in it.

Suddenly, he spotted a maroon book cover and darted over to it. He immediately took the book and smiled, sliding the dirt and dust that rested on it.

It was his favorite "story". It was a reminder of his memories with you, all the pictures he took with you stored in it.

Every time he had any free time, he would read through it, he was the happiest whenever he saw the photographs he had slotted in the book - the photos of you and him together.

He began to look through it, even audibly laughing out loud a few times as he's brought back the very moment Diluc took the picture with you.

He would write down little notes next to the picture to keep track of all the details, Diluc would never want to forget any moment spent with you.

'The time their grace and I went to a field of gardens. A bunch of flowers and leaves got stuck on them when they tripped.'

'Their grace taking a secret picture of me when I fell asleep during a picnic.'

'Teaching their grace how to cook.'

Diluc then came across a specific page. It was a picture of you dancing in the garden with him, special thanks to Adelinde for photographing the moment.

A small blush flushes across Diluc's cheeks, he can feel his heart beginning to pound faster and harder.

In the picture, your front was facing Diluc and he could see your smile. That same sincere smile, the one that would brighten up his day.

What was so different about that smile you had compared to the other pictures? You were laughing and as joyous too.

Diluc slams the book shut, hurriedly shoving it back into the bookshelf with the other books. He covers his mouth and reddened cheeks with one hand.

Diluc knows why that smile was so much more important to him than the others. It was because you were directly looking at him, smiling at him, locking in eye contact. That grin was the one that he had engraved in his head.

The Tsaritsa

Her majesty is experienced in the field of ice magic, being the actual god reigning over the element. Thus, when she first showed you a few of the tricks she had up her sleeve, you couldn't help but be astonished.

The water vapor in the room simply froze into liquid, twirling around you before intercepting and falling into tiny shards - it was almost like glitter.

The snowflakes fluttered and danced around the room, making the scene before you even more magical.

You laugh happily as your hands cup up snow on the ground, throwing them into the air merrily as they all slowly fall around you. They float into your hair, your face, your body.

The Tsaritsa watches the heartwarming moment before her. She watches as you struggle to move, wobbling around with her thick, fur cape on you.

She could see that starstruck look on your face as the icicles flew right by you, the shine in your eyes. It was similar to a child witnessing fireworks for the first time.

The Tsaritsa shifts over next to you, lifting the heavy fur coat from your shoulders.

"Isn't ice just... so pretty?" You whisper to her.

"I think I would have a somewhat unfair opinion considering I'm the cryo archon." Her majesty mentions. "Though, I agree."

"Ice sculptures, snow lilies, the cold is such a beautiful, yet dangerous thing." You begin listing out.

As you finish your sentence, an ice sculpture carved similar to a flower appears in the Tsaritsa's palms and she passes it to you. Could she read your mind? Or was she just really quick and good at sculpting?

A chuckle escaped her lips at your amazed face, it was a smile that would definitely be recorded in her memories. Who knows? It might even be locked up, deep in some special place in her heart.

Tag list:@under-a-starry-night,@yourfaveisblack,@bardisipatos,@callmemeelah, @kithewanderingme,@white-like-dis,@bamboowritess,@uchihaeirin, @irethepotato, @karmawonders, @lunavixia, @anfre109

Special tags: @is-very-sad, @raidengaile/@simplygaile, @spare-some-bones, @gunterdon, @xiaophilia, @mari-san-cant, @emilemovhi, @creation-magician, @yuzuricebun, @mx-kamisato, @white-like-dis

[iwas-baby]

—𝔢𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔫𝔞𝔩 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢

ii. found again

including: suna rintaro x f!reader

genre: genre: vampire au, reincarnation au, drama

cw: mentions of death, somewhat panic attack, nightmare, hyperventilating, a little bit of fluff and angst

a/n: this is in a magical world where the pandemic doesn’t and never even existed :)

previous < masterlist > next

2022, New York City

There was a coldness in the air that was beginning to indicate the seasonal shift between summer and autumn. Suna Rintaro, whose face was still youthful, was trapped in a prison of his own mind. The world had become exhausting and borderline unbearable. He would spend his days mourning the loss of his mortality, and his nights wandering the city that never slept in search of his next victim.

His teeth had not sunken into the vulnerable neck of a human in many, many moons in attempts to not raise suspicions. Instead, he would settle on cattle or perhaps a few small sheep. Yet, he was willing to do anything if it would mean he would stop being a vampire. There was once a book in her personal library that spoke of a method to cure his immortality, and would return his body to a human state. It entailed him feasting on poison blood, which was simply the blood of a tainted human. Although, what that truly meant, he couldn’t be sure. Even more so, there was no evidence to suggest that the method stated in his long lost book was correct– he supposed that if he were to ever meet a human with ‘tainted blood’ he would know.

That was where he found a girl, shivering on the sidewalk outside a club, staring down at her shoes with a melancholic stare. Rintaro couldn’t understand what it was about her that made him feel as though he was walking in slow motion. Her eyes caught his, and in that split second of motion, he was reminded of another time in his long lifetime.

It was you, he thought to himself, stopping. He tried not to seem suspicious, trying to stand next to you in a way that would allow him to be sure that his eyes were not deceiving him. You didn’t pay him any attention, not even bothering to notice the way he eyed you.

You had different hair, and a different build than his first and last lover, yet there was a magnetic aura around you, that was so convincing, he couldn’t shake the chills that went up his spine. Suna soon realized how intense his lingering eyes must’ve been, watching you take a small step away, scoffing.

“Can I help you?” You asked, holding your arms closer to your body to keep warm. Rintaro froze in place, not knowing what to say because even though over a century had passed he hadn’t forgotten the promise he made to you.

“I apologize, you just remind me of someone I knew.” His voice was weary, with hints of nostalgia, remembering the way he kissed you, and the many nights he’d watch you peacefully sleep. Only, you pressed your lips together, turning your head to the side to avoid looking at him.

“Well, I don’t think we know each other, sorry.” Rintaro could understand your cold behavior, you didn’t remember him, how could you? Love couldn’t possibly transfer between lifetimes but still, it was undeniable that it was you.

You reached into your small purse, grabbing a carton of cigarettes, still trying to avoid the man standing there. You continued to fish for something else, frustratingly looking up at him, finally.

“Do you have a lighter?” You asked and Suna nodded, pulling one out of his pocket. You smiled politely while he held it on the palm of his hand, taking that as an invitation to use it. Putting the cylinder between your teeth, you flicked the lighter. Once you got it, though, you inhaled a deep breath, blowing out smoke and facing Suna to get a look at his somewhat distraught expression.

“You know smoking kills, right?” It might’ve been out of place for him to say, but he was never the best at holding back his critique. You held the cigarette between two fingers, tapping the ashes while taking in his comment.

You crinkled your nose, shrugging, “everyone’s gonna die of something, aren’t they.” Suna let out a hum but you weren’t done speaking, “besides, I only do it when I’m stressed.”

“Then what has you so worked up?” Rintaro found himself falling back into a similar routine from all those years ago, and he reckoned if he closed his eyes he’d be taken right back to his first few moments with you.

“I just got out of a relationship,” you said, sighing and there was nothing the man wanted to do more than take you into his arms and feel your warmth, in an attempt to comfort you. “The guy I was seeing wasn’t who he said he was.”

You regained that gloomy look, letting the tip of the cigarette burn, not bothering to put it back into your mouth. You scratched your face, holding yourself tighter and staring up at the night sky. The stars had been covered by all the light pollution and the growing clouds but still, you stared at the open sky with such wonder it was like they were still there.

“I’m sure it was for the best, then.” Frankly, it was the longest conversation Rintaro had held with a human in a long time. You nodded your head slowly as he added to his previous point, “but I’m sure it’s hard. I don’t believe I got over my first heartbreak.”

Humming, you asked him: “what happened?”

There was a dull look in his iris as the two of you held eye contact, “she died.”

“Oh,” you said, narrowing your eyebrows, “I’m sorry, that’s horrible.”

The man only shook his head, putting his hands up in defense, “no, you don’t need to worry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

Silence hung between the two of you and Rintaro wanted to say something but he felt halted. He was only a second away from confessing his love for you, but he stopped, realizing that human’s react much differently, besides, he needed to get back home before sunrise.

“Get home safe,” he told you, as a way of saying goodbye. You hadn’t been expecting it, though, peeling your eyes off the ground to watch him go. Rintarto was quick on his feet, and was long gone when he realized he hadn’t taken back his lighter.

Laying in your bed, you kept thinking of the strange man you met that night. You had given him your condolences for his past lover and in response he only shook his head, apologizing for bothering you. He had left without giving you his name, only leaving you with his lighter.

At first, when he tried talking to you, you felt bitter, not wanting to be bothered, or harassed by some random man on the street. Yet, the short lived conversation felt genuine and would have bloomed into something more if it weren’t for him disappearing into the night.

You also couldn’t lie to yourself and say the man was unattractive. Everytime you closed your eyes you thought of his tall, broad frame, his delicately strong hands, and of course his piercing eyes. You felt giddy just thinking about his good look.

Sighing, you set your alarm for morning wondering if you’d ever see him again. It was bold to even think that, considering you lived in New York City for heaven’s sake, where millions of people lived, let alone all the tourists. Any spark that might’ve started died instantly, and you could kiss goodbye any chances.

Holding your bedding close to your body, you slowly became accustomed to the cozy feeling of blankets wrapped around you and it wasn’t long until you slipped into unconsciousness.

It wasn’t typical for you to have nightmares. Sure, when you were a young child you’d jolt awake and rush to your parent’s room, hiding with them and being soothed in their arms. Now, though, you hardly even had regular dreams, let alone ones that would make you shake in the night.

Tonight was an exception but it didn’t feel like a dream, more like deja vu.

You were in what looked like a library, an old one– a building that wasn’t built within your lifetime but you couldn’t quite place the time period. A small fire burned in the fireplace, while vintage armchairs faced it. You also caught sight of a desk, staked with desks in what looked like Latin and Ancient Greek.

“Have you finally awoken?” A voice coming from the sofa asked. You perked your head up, compelled to move forward. You tried to stop yourself but it didn’t work, as if you were playing a character in a movie and forced to stick to a script.

“Yes but I also went out again, to the gardens.” Once again, you had no control over what was coming out of your mouth, looking down to see a bouquet of flowers in your hand. “I wanted to bring you flowers for your study, since I gave you some the other day for your bed chambers.”

Standing there, you were in shock that it was the stranger from outside the club. He softly smiled at you, reaching out his hand to take a flower from the many in your grip. His fingertips were cold but you didn’t shy away from him, instead sitting down next to him.

He pressed the flower to his nose, smelling it while looking into your eyes. Feeling your heartbeat quicken, you could almost smell the tension in the air, wanting nothing more but to jump into his arms and kiss him. Yet, you were still confined.

“Thank you, they’re quite nice,” he said, observing them as his face slowly soured and for a moment, you thought you didn’t actually enjoy your gift. That was until he said something under his breath, not thinking that you’d pick it up. “I suppose in comparison to you, they’re actually very dull.”

Flustered, you looked away, feeling the unnamed man reach out for you, “I haven’t upset you, have I? I promise, they’re lovely flowers!”

“No, it isn’t that, Rintaro,” you replied, shaking your head and turning back to look at him. So that was his name: Rintaro. But was that really his name, or were you just making things up– it was just a dream after all.

“Perhaps, we can do something today, I feel much better today.” Were you sick? It felt like such an odd thing to say but by Rintaro’s reaction that was most likely the case as a soft smile tugged on his lips.

“Alright,” the man thought, “we can perhaps read?” You crinkle your nose and shake your head.

“Something fun Rintaro, we read everyday.” He nodded, laughing a little at the silly suggestion and before you knew it, you were standing in the hallway of a castle, staring at the long line of portraits hanging from the wall.

“I don’t suppose you’ve seen this part of my castle yet, have you?” You shook your head, staring at the painting in front of you. It was of a couple, a bit older in age, staring at the painter, the man’s arms on top of hers. Their clothing was old, too, much older than what you and Rintaro were wearing, making you wonder when the painting even dated back to.

“He was the original owner of the castle,” Rintaro explained, “and that’s his wife. He let me buy it from him after I came here to rest. You see I’m not local to this area, so when I ended up here, no one from the village would allow me to stay but him.”

“I think I would’ve remembered you showing up to the village, and surely I would’ve convinced my father to show you some hospitality.” Rintaro pressed his lips together at your comment, looking back at the painting.

“Yes, but I suppose that isn't the point of the story.” He paused, sighing. “When I met the owner, his wife had already passed away and he too was practically on his deathbed. Yet, the man wanted to leave his material possessions behind, and die somewhere secluded. He believed in doing so he would be reincarnated and would meet his wife’s soul once again.”

“Do you think such a thing is possible?” Your voice was small, looking up at him as he met your gaze, his eyes were blank for a second as he shrugged.

“I’ve seen things that would’ve once been thought of as impossible. So I suppose yes, it is.” You reached for his hand, whispering:

“Well then I hope to find you in my next life.” Rintaro didn’t hear you, frozen as he watched the painting. He was not fazed at all when it started to shift, though, as if he couldn’t notice it at all.

From an eldely loving couple, the painting turned into something depicting hell; with large flames and a body of a girl laying in the center. You felt your lungs begin to swell up, as if you were hyperventilating while the sounds of a crying baby and a beeping monitor. Everything was happening so quickly, overstimulating your brain at such a high rate, you could barely process anything.

That was when you finally woke up, sitting up right as you gasped for air. Your room was the same as you left it, the darkness being interrupted by the glowing green of your alarm clock. Placing a hand against your forehead, you tried to make sense of what just happened.

Rintaro, was that the man’s name or was it just your brain’s way of filling in missing information? Pulling your knees up against your chest, there must’ve been a reason you saw the stranger in your dream.

Don’t be stupid, you thought, reminding yourself that the conversation you two had shared must’ve prompted the odd dream. Still, though, you felt chills up your spine; you needed the dream to mean something more. You had promised to love him in another lifetime, and that didn’t sit lightly in your chest. It seemed too coincidental that he reminded you of a past lover although he looked to be your age, there was no way it was possible.

Looking over to your nightstand, you saw the lighter you’d forgotten to return, maybe there was still hope that you’d find him again and learn the truth. At least now you had somewhat of a lead, but a possible name was like finding a needle in a haystack.

You laid back down, trying to soothe yourself back to sleep and eventually you fell back into sleep, this time without any pesky nightmares. But, you unknowingly had your fingers crossed that the man would reappear to tell you more about himself.

taglist: @boosyboo9206 @rntrsuna @szna @chaotic-fangirl-blog @bisexualtragedy @heyitsmeyuhh @wolffmaiden @akashiyumi @softyutae @van-chii @alicesakusa @suhaaaefre

© all work belongs to iwas-baby on tumblr, please do not plagiarize, repost or translate anywhere

[starryhyuck]

just like magic. (m)

pairing: fuckboy!jaehyun x fuckgirl!reader

words: 4k+

summary: jung jaehyun’s body count is almost as high as yours. however, after yuta spreads a nasty rumor, you learn that jaehyun’s always imagined those girls to be you instead.

genre: fluff, smut

warnings: multiple sex partners, public sex, sex on the roof, multiple orgasms, degradation, wall sex, creampie

Your head rests on the bathroom mirror, inhaling and exhaling loudly as Mingyu finds a wipe to clean you up.

“Ugh. I can’t believe we did it in Bambam’s gross bathroom.”

Mingyu chuckles, the deep sound echoing in the small space. “Please. Don’t act like you’re so disgusted now.” You roll your eyes at his comment while he cleans the cum smeared on the inside of your thighs. “Besides, it’s not like you were having fun at the party anyways.”

You shrug and jump down from the sink, straightening out your skirt and trying to look somewhat presentable.

“True,” you murmur, fixing your hair in the mirror. “Jungkook couldn’t come tonight so it was way easier to find you.”

He scoffs. “As if Jungkook could fuck you better than me.”

You laugh and find the lipgloss sitting at the bottom of your bag. “Oh, he can. He’s not a little gym rat for nothing, you know.”

Mingyu huffs, leaning down to pull your panties back up and straightening your skirt. This scene isn’t unfamiliar to the both of you, although doing it in Bambam’s bathroom certainly was. You’re pretty sure Bambam smoked a shit ton of weed before his party started, and Mingyu opens the bathroom window to release some of the odor.

“See you in 104. Did you finish the extra credit paper already?”

You shook your head, opening the bathroom door and hearing the lively party continue downstairs.

“Nope, not planning to,” you give him one last kiss on the cheek. “Nice fuck, Gyu. Tell Jungkook to show up next time.”

He rolls his eyes again and you two depart, almost toppling over as you bump into Jung Jaehyun on the stairs. His arm quickly slides around your waist to prevent you from falling. He smiles at you.

“How was Mingyu?”

“How was Jennie?”

He chuckles. “Good. As always. You really have to start expanding your little black book. Mingyu and Jungkook aren’t always going to be around, you know.”

You raise an eyebrow and step away from him, shooing his arm away from you. “You don’t think I have backups, silly? Doyoung is at my beck and call, I assure you.”

He smirks, raising his red solo cup to you. “If you ever need me.”

You dismiss him, walking down the stairway of Bambam and Yugyeom’s place. You and Jaehyun had always been similar in many ways, especially in the way you ‘connect’ with other people. If you two ever had a body count competition, it would surely have Johnny’s head spinning all night at the numbers. You never fucked Jaehyun, however, simply because you had no desire to. You’ve known Jaehyun for as long as you’ve known Mingyu, but the only personality trait you’ve ever deducted from Jaehyun was that he’s excellent in bed.

That, and the fact that during your first year of college, Yuta spread some rumor that Jaehyun masturbates to the thought of you.

No big deal.

You find Minghao and Sicheng speaking in the kitchen, and you whine when you clutch Minghao’s arm.

“I’m tired, Hao.”

“You leave us to go fuck Mingyu for a hour and now you want to go home?”

You can hear the condescending tone in Minghao’s voice and you do your best to ignore it. You offer him your best toothy grin. “Come on, designated driver. You’re not even doing anything remotely fun!”

“Hey!” Sicheng interjects. “We were actually just talking.”

You lean over to pinch his cheeks and Sicheng nearly growls at you.

“You’re cute, but you and Minghao talk all the time. Nothing new. Plus, all of us are roommates, dumbass! We could talk at home any time we want to.”

“Fine, fine,” Minghao concedes, laying his cup down on the kitchen counter. You ignore the fact that Yugyeom’s tongue is shoved down some girl’s throat only five feet away from all of you. “Did you already clean yourself up? I don’t want any of Mingyu’s germs in my car.”

“Are we sure it was Mingyu?” Sicheng counters. “It could’ve been Jungkook or Doyoung or Wonwoo or Jinyoung or-“

“Alright, alright,” you glare at him. “And yes, it was Mingyu. He already cleaned me up so you won’t get any Gyu germs.”

“Good.”

Minghao still has trouble trusting you after that one time you wore a skirt with no panties and let Kun’s cum spill all over Minghao’s front seat. Sicheng is still extremely traumatized from the situation.

You exit the house party with your roommates, almost stopping at the sight of Kunhang looking like a fucking dream near the speakers-

“Come on, you horny asshole,” Sicheng grunts, pushing you out the door.

—

“Did you hear the news?”

Your eyes flutter at the sight of Nakamoto Yuta, who is leaning over your desk, smiling. You sigh and decide to entertain him.

“What is it now, Yuta?”

“A little birdy told me that a certain Jung Jaehyun has fallen for Mingyu’s girl,” Yuta’s smirk widens when you furrow your eyebrows.

“Mingyu has a girlfriend?”

He huffs. “You, dumbass.”

You giggle at the thought of dating Mingyu and roll your eyes. “You’re full of shit, Nakamoto.”

He stands straight, his figure towering over you. You peek your head out to see if the lecture has started yet so Yuta can get the fuck away from you.

“Then why did I hear Jaehyun calling your name when he was getting his dick wet this morning?”

The accusation has your eyebrows raising. You barely know Jaehyun, only from fleeting stories from Mingyu and Jungkook. You also know that Yuta’s always full of shit, spreading rumors about various people just because he can.

“Get your head out of your ass, Yuta.”

He laughs at your dismissive nature, leaning in again. There’s a troublesome glint in his eyes.

“And what if I told you Mingyu said Jaehyun’s loved you since you were five?”

You challenge him. “I would say that the cum in Miyeon’s panties say otherwise.”

He smiles and steps back when the professor finally enters the room.

“Whatever you want to believe.”

That conversation with Yuta was three years ago. He’s graduated long since, but the rumor about Jaehyun still pops up here and there. Jaehyun never addressed it with you, and when you asked Mingyu about it once, he just laughed.

“A lot of guys on campus jack off to the thought of you. Are you surprised?”

You think about the memory as you watch Soojin straddle Jaehyun, her hair falling over the side of her face as she leans in to kiss him. The rest of the party ignores them, mainly focused on how Bambam is nearly toppling over trying to do a keg stand.

A hand slides around your waist and you feel someone’s lips attach to your neck.

“Gyu told me you were looking for me the other day,” Jungkook murmurs lowly in your ear. “Did you miss me?”

You smile when you feel his fingers inch closer to your breast, hands roaming all over your body.

“Yes. Your absence made me fuck Mingyu in Bambam’s germ-covered bathroom.”

He chuckles lowly, and the sound shoots straight to your core.

“I’m here now, baby. I’ll take care of you.”

Your eyes drift upwards again, startled to find Jaehyun already gazing at you. Soojin’s sucking at his neck, but his eyes are locked on you, watching the way Jungkook paws at your breast.

Yuta’s voice rings in your ears. Jaehyun’s loved you since you were five.

You push the thought away as Jungkook’s mouth envelops yours. Jaehyun couldn’t love you, Yuta was just full of shit.

—

“You’re late.”

You narrow your eyes at Mingyu, who brushes off the time. He promised to meet up with you yesterday to finish your project for 104 and give you a quick lunch time fuck. You’re a little disheartened to see he’s tugged Doyoung and Jaehyun along.

“Don’t be so upset, frowning doesn’t look good on you,” Mingyu teases, sliding in the chair across from you. Doyoung sits next to him, and Jaehyun awkwardly takes the spot next to you. “We were just playing a little basketball outside. The time slipped my mind.”

“Well, I guess it slips my mind that I’m supposed to fuck you before your next class.”

Doyoung laughs and seizes the opportunity. “I, on the other hand, never promised anything and my schedule is conveniently free for the whole day.” He winks at you, his gums showing brightly as he smiles.

You smirk when Mingyu elbows him in the side. Jaehyun is oddly quiet and you turn to face him while Mingyu hisses at Doyoung.

“I saw you and Soojin getting it on last weekend. How was it?”

He smiles tightly. “Good, as always. Jungkook per usual?”

You nod. “The little gym rat won’t stop exercising. He was talking to me about his routine all night. I almost just got myself off instead.”

Something flickers in Jaehyun’s gaze, and it’s gone so quickly that you might’ve missed it.

“I can’t imagine why that would be preferred, especially when you have most of the male population lining up to get a taste of you.”

There’s a hidden implication in his words, and you take the chance.

“Are you part of that male population?”

He smirks at your question. Before he has a chance to answer, Mingyu’s voice fills your ears again.

“Anyways, my dorm is free and I can afford to miss my next class. Wanna head up? Promise I’ll go down on you as an apology.”

You scoff at Mingyu’s half-assed proposal, and stand to leave. “I’ll pass. Get a watch next time if you want your dick wet. I’m assuming you’re going to finish most of our project since I was waiting here for over a hour.”

Mingyu frowns. “But-“

“But?” You say, raising an eyebrow.

His shoulders slump. “Fine. I’ll finish the damn project.”

You lean over to pinch his cheeks. “Good Mingyu. I’ll see all of you at Minghao’s birthday bash.”

You depart without another word, ignoring the burn of Jaehyun’s stare. When you arrive back to your apartment, Minghao is organizing his wine cabinet while Sicheng talks to Tzuyu at the kitchen counter. You sigh and throw your bag across the island.

“Boys are dumb.”

Tzuyu laughs. “Did Mingyu forget what time it is again?”

“As always,” you confirm, searching for anything consumable in your fridge. As expected, no one’s gone grocery shopping in a week. Guess you’ll have to raid Wonwoo’s apartment tonight.

Sicheng huffs. “Good. I don’t need you getting any more Mingyu germs before Minghao’s party tomorrow.”

“And what does Hao’s party have anything to do with me getting laid?” Sicheng rolls his eyes at your question, and you smile sweetly at him. You decide to favor the leftover pieces of ham sitting at the back of the fridge. “Tzuyu, back me up here. Didn’t you have a good time with Jaehyun two weeks ago?”

Tzuyu’s cheeks flush as she recalls what you’re referring to. At Jungwoo’s party, she and Jaehyun were practically fucking each other in the middle of the living room.

“I guess. He was weird about some things.”

You frown, removing the lid off of the container and shoving a piece of ham in your mouth. “Like what?”

She looks embarrassed to be talking about such intimate things in front of Sicheng, but your roommate is unbothered. He’s heard enough of your escapades to be unfazed by any mentions of sex.

“He didn’t want to look at me when we did it. He told me I had to face the pillow or else he couldn’t cum that way.”

You shrug. “So he likes it from behind. Nothing too weird about that. Which way do you prefer, Sicheng?”

He glares at you. “None of your business.”

You giggle at how cute he is before Tzuyu continues. “I mean, it wasn’t just that. He didn’t really like it when I made noises. I had to be as quiet as possible.”

“Ugh, that’s fucked. Guys can grunt in the nastiest ways possible but they hate it when we make an ounce of noise. I hope you’re not that way, Sicheng.”

His glare burns. “None. Of. Your. Business.”

“Yeah, it was weird. He’s really good in bed though.”

You chuckle. “I would hope so. Anyways, who’s on the guest list for tomorrow night?”

Sicheng sighs, and you wonder if he thinks about moving out and living with a less horny roommate.

“Basically anyone you’ve fucked before since you’ve slept with all of Hao’s friends.”

You frown. “That’s not fun. I like someone new once in a while.”

“No funny business at Minghao’s party, I mean it. We can’t be cutting his cake while you’re getting railed in your room.”

You boop his nose. “No promises.”

—

Sicheng’s done this on purpose.

All of the men at Minghao’s party have flocked away from you, like Sicheng sent them all a mass text before the party started or something. You tried to slide up to Mingyu but then he was quickly taking the offer to do body shots with someone else. It’s as if you would bite all their dicks off with the way they’re running from you.

It’s the middle of the party when you grow tired of hearing Jieqiong’s banter with Jun.

You step out of the apartment for a few minutes and head up to the roof, arms wrapping around yourself to shield from the cold. You know you should’ve went to Wonwoo yesterday, especially since Sicheng has apparently made it a no fuck zone for tonight.

You jump when you feel a jacket moving over your shoulders. You’re even more startled to see Jaehyun next to you.

“Oh, hey. When did you get here?”

He smiles, and it hurts your eyes a little by how pretty he is.

“About a hour ago. I’m not surprised you didn’t notice, considering I could feel your rage from five feet away.”

You laugh dryly. “Did Sicheng send you a text too?”

“No, but Mingyu told me about it. I assume he only sent it to the guys you’ve slept with before.”

You nod. “Yeah, probably. I’m off limits to all males tonight.”

The two of you stand together in silence, gazing out at the view of your city. You’ve never felt an urge to get an answer from Jaehyun before about Yuta’s rumor, but now that he’s here, it’s all you can think about.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Why didn’t you say anything about the rumor Yuta spread around in freshman year?”

His back stiffens. The seconds pass in a deafening thump, and you’re starting to feel like you shouldn’t have brought it up.

He finally sighs. “How long have we known each other?”

You blink. Did he really have to respond to a question with another question?

You think back to when you first met Jaehyun and Mingyu. You were only five then, and you screamed in the middle of the classroom because Mingyu had spilled paint all over the front of your shirt. You remember Jaehyun handing you a wipe to clean yourself up, ears bright red.

You grin at the memory. “Since I found out Mingyu was the clumsiest kid on earth.”

He chuckles. “You never really saw it, did you?”

“Saw what?”

You’re even more confused by Jaehyun’s vague ass answers. He averts his gaze from you, and you suddenly feel a lot colder on this rooftop.

“How much I liked you.”

The statement causes you to freeze. So Yuta was right - Jung Jaehyun has loved you since you were five. Still, it doesn’t make any sense. You’ve been fucking Mingyu since high school and Jaehyun never seemed bothered by it, considering he and Mingyu were still best friends. In fact, you’ve been in bed with most of his friend group and he’s never said a word about it. His friends never even mention his liking for you, so you have to assume that they don’t know of it either.

As if he could sense your rampant thoughts running wild, he squashes them.

“I thought you loved Mingyu. I thought that when the two of you first started sleeping together, it would develop into something more. It’s why I never said anything to him. He knew, but I’m sure he thought I didn’t mind.”

You’re baffled. You don’t even know how to respond to this newfound information. Maybe you should’ve stayed downstairs at the party.

“Mingyu is an asshole,” you finally conclude. Jaehyun’s shoulders relax when you speak. “And so am I. I swear, I didn’t know, Jaehyun. I would’ve-“

“You would’ve stopped seeing Mingyu? And Jungkook? And Doyoung, and Wonwoo, and-“

“Okay, okay,” you raise a hand up to stop him before glaring. “You’re not entirely innocent either. I’m friends with most of the girls you’ve slept with too.”

His eyes darken. “And have you asked them what it’s like to be with me? How I have to turn them over and imagine it’s you before I can get hard? How I have to keep them quiet because their moans are too loud or simply because it doesn’t sound like you?” How-“

“Jaehyun,” you whisper, feeling like the wind has gotten knocked out of your chest. You’re also trying to ignore the wetness that’s pooled in your underwear. “Are you saying-“

“I’m saying that I’ve been running circles around you since we were five and you’ve never noticed. I’ve had to hear countless nights of Mingyu and Jungkook talking about how sweet your pussy is when they slide into you. How pretty you are when you’re stuffing their cocks far down your throat. How you let them take you anywhere, any time, because you enjoy it as much as they do.”

You swallow. He’s inches away from you now, hands dancing around your waist carefully. You quickly check the time.

One hour before Minghao cuts his cake. That should be enough.

You grab the fabric of Jaehyun’s shirt, pulling him to you as his lips crash into yours. He grunts, gripping your sides and pressing you against the railing. Your eyes glance down briefly to see how high up you two are.

“Drop me and I’ll kill you.”

He laughs, chasing you again and quickly moving to undress you. You ignore the goosebumps rising on your arms when Jaehyun nips at your neck, fingers dipping into your panties. “So pretty,” he murmurs, licking a stripe across your collarbones. You moan when he slides a finger into your heat. “That’s it, baby. Sound so fucking good.”

He slips another finger in, basking in the glory of your moans. “We have to hurry,” you mumble breathily. “Sicheng will come looking if he knows I’m gone for too long. It’s like he can sense when I’m fucking someone.”

Jaehyun laughs, moving back up to kiss you. “He can watch if he wants to then.”

“I wanna-“ you gasp when he curls his fingers. “I wanna suck you off.”

“Fuck,” he hisses. He’s fingering you faster now, and you can hear the squelch of your wetness fill the air. You gasp, desperately holding onto his forearm. “I’ll fuck your mouth next time, I promise. I need to see you cum now.”

You unravel in no time, moaning loudly as you fall apart on Jaehyun’s fingers. He coaxes you through your orgasm, murmuring praises in your ear. You whimper when he pulls away from you, licking up the remaining essence on his fingers.

“Jaehyun,” you say frantically, pawing at him. “I need you inside me.”

You turn over so that your back is facing him, and you think he’s about to slide your underwear down but instead, he swivels you around.

“Need to see you,” he whispers. “Jump.”

You do as he says, wrapping your legs around his waist and kissing him with much more fervor. You moan when his hands grip your sides roughly, pressing you against the concrete. You sit on the ledge of the rooftop, trying to ignore the genuine fear of falling.

He’s quickly shoving his jeans down his thighs and you whimper.

“Hurry, Jae.”

“Fuck, baby. I’m here, I’m right here,” he hisses, pulling out his cock and giving it a few strokes. Your eyes widen at the size — he was surely bigger and thicker than Mingyu or Jungkook. He chuckles at your stare, as if he knows exactly what you’re thinking. “Bigger than what you normally have?”

You narrow your eyes. “Don’t tell me you idiots had a dick measuring contest.”

He shrugs. “Maybe.”

Then, he’s pushing your panties to the side and sliding into you. You gasp, his fingers roughly gripping you in place to make sure you don’t fall. He doesn’t wait for you to adjust, thrusting rapidly as soon as he feels you.

“Good little slut,” he grunts. “So pretty and pliant for me. Is my cock too big for you to take, baby?”

“You’re gonna fucking,” you pant, whining when his cock hits you deeper. “You’re gonna fucking split me in half, asshole.”

He grins mischievously. “That’s the goal.”

You’re so lost in the feeling of him that the both of you fail to hear the door to the rooftop open. You’re startled when Sicheng’s voice booms in the air.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! We haven’t even cut the cake yet!”

“Sicheng, I-“ you shamelessly whimper when Jaehyun hits your sweet spot, not slowing down in the slightest despite Sicheng watching. “W-We’ll be d-down before Hao c-cuts the cake.”

“Horny assholes,” you hear your roommate mutter before the door to the rooftop is closing again.

Jaehyun chortles. “He should’ve sent that text to me too if he was so concerned.”

“Fuck him,” you groan. “And fuck me harder.”

He listens to your command, pushing into you so deep that you almost fall off the ledge. You scream as your upper body dangles off the rooftop, but you can hear Jaehyun’s giggle. Your fear is overtaken by arousal when you realize his cock is hitting you deeper in this position.

“Cum, cum,” you whisper. “I’m cumming.”

He groans when you tighten around him, convulsing around his cock. When you recover, he’s hoisting you back up, bringing your chest to his as he carries you. You have no idea where he’s going, but with every step, his cock slides deeper into your soaking cunt.

The door to the rooftop is opening again and you realize you’re in the stairwell.

“Get down, hands on the railing.”

You shakily follow his command, ignoring the wobble of your legs as you grip the metal bars. He’s pushing into you again before you can take a breath.

“I-I thought you needed to see me,” you say, your back turned to him.

“You’re right.”

Then, he’s pushing you against the wall with force and abusing your pussy. You practically scream, clawing at his back while he pounds you into the wall.

“Do you want to know exactly what Yuta heard three years ago?” He groans against your neck. You can barely form coherent sentences, and you’re pretty sure you had another orgasm that you haven’t even revived from. “He heard me desperately fucking my cock into my hand, whimpering your name. All I could imagine that day was the little short dress you wore to Yugyeom’s party, and how Jungkook’s hands were all over you as soon as you stepped through the door. I fucking came so hard that I had to wash my sheets before Mingyu came back to the dorm.”

“Jaehyun, Jaehyun,” you whisper frantically. You’re unraveling again — cumming around his cock while he fucks you hard. “Cum with me. Inside, cum inside. Please, please.”

He grunts lowly. “Yeah? You want my cum? What about the rest of them — how many of them have spilled inside you?”

“I’ll keep it in,” you promise him, just wanting your hole to be filled. “I’ll walk around Hao’s party with your cum dripping down my thighs. How does that sound?”

And he’s groaning, giving one final thrust before he empties inside of you. You gasp at how much cum he has to give you, some of it spilling down your lips and onto the floor.

The both of you are panting lowly, trying to recover from your orgasms. You faintly hear a chorus of people singing Happy Birthday two floors down.

“Fuck, Sicheng’s gonna kill us.”

[jikookiekosmos]

Stay With Me || jjk

➥Pairing: best friend!jungkook/reader, husband!jungkook/reader

➥Summary: Being married to Jungkook was everything you’d wished for and more. There wasn’t a problem the two of you couldn’t tackle together, and building this life with the person you loved most was all you could ask for. But when a ghost from your past returns and threatens to pull you two apart in whatever way they can, will things still be the same?

➥Genre: established relationship, heavy angst (I’m so sorry), smut, fluff, hurt/comfort

➥Rating: 18+

➥Words: ~14.2k (more of a one shot than a drabble I know, oops)

Before you continue there are darker themes explored in this drabble; please read at your own risk. Appropriate warnings are listed below.

➥Content Warnings: POV switches, feelings of anxiety from being in danger, jungkook is protective (and for good reason), we see a pissed off hoseok, (tw: harassment, violence, implied/attempted kidnapping, reader gets injured), yoongi & jimin to the rescue (bless them), jungkook is pissed off (again for good reason), jungkook cries, reader also cries, jungkook has feelings of insecurity and not being good enough, they have ✨very emotional sex✨ up against a wall, cursing (fuck is said a lot), slight hair pulling, fingering (very brief), jungkook has a big dick, unprotected sex (safe sex is great sex), dirty talk, rough sex, cumming inside, aftercare, jungkook is actually the sweetest, reader and jk are so in love with each other it hurts, also jk saying ‘only for you’ is a thing i started and can’t stop now oops except there’s a twist this time around

A/N: hello! This is part of my Only for You (OFY) Drabble series, but it can be read as a stand-alone! However, I would highly recommend reading OFY beforehand so as to better understand the relationships between these characters since there’s a lot of history behind everything that will make more sense. (I also mentioned this in the post for OFY but for those who haven’t read it, the Kun in the story isn’t referring to any other irl person specifically, it was just a name I chose to make the initial story easier to write.)

The POV switches between the reader and a few of the characters, but this will always be indicated by the name in the switch being bolded (i.e. you or Jungkook will be in bold, etc.).

I always do this but thank you to @dntaewithluv​ for keeping me sane during the writing process and giving me feedback as well as the motivation to continue when I feel discouraged, I love you so much 💜

I’ve written a few other drabbles and will list them below, along with a general timeline:

Use My Best Colors For Your Portrait - ~6 months after OFY

When I Dream Of You - ~1 year after OFY

This fic takes place a few months after the dream drabble. I welcome feedback, so if you ever want to talk to me about my writing, please do! I hope that if you read this, you enjoy it~

➥OFY Spotify Playlist (songs I listened to for inspo)

➥Series Masterlist

➥All Works Masterlist

taglist: @inlovewiththemoonn @diorkookie @swee3tcreature​ @sugaslittlekookies​ @moonchild1​ @bangtanhome​ 

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

Visiting Jungkook at the bar during his shifts had become one of your favorite pastimes over the last few years. And not just because you got to see him, but also because it gave you a chance to get closer to some of his - and now your - friends as well.

Take tonight for example: you stopped by on your way home from work, and everything happened like it usually did. Jungkook’s smile was typically the first thing to greet you when you walked through the door before he and Jimin got into a playful bickering match about bar duties.

You parked yourself in your usual stool at the bar and watched the scene before you unfold - Jimin tossing one of the bar towels to Jungkook, who caught it with ease, all the while mumbling ‘less distraction and more action, Kook.’ Jungkook slung the towel over his shoulder before making a big show out of walking over to you.

“Hey pretty lady, what can I get for you tonight?” Jungkook’s voice was dripping with charm and it made you giggle. He leaned across the bar, resting his forearms on the wood. Even when he was just standing here in a plain black t-shirt with his dark hair curling in front of his eyes you still thought he was the most ethereal person you’d ever seen.

You hummed. “Hmm, I think I’ll have just a water, thanks.” Jungkook was already moving to fix your beverage before you even finished. “Do you always greet people like this,” you teased him as he sat the glass down in front of you.

He was wiping his hands on the towel still perched on his shoulder. “Nah, I only save it for the special ones. I am a married man, after all.”

You giggled again and he reached further across the bar to give you a quick kiss before being interrupted by Jimin again.

“You two are adorable, I love that, but I really could use some help over here, Kook!”

Jungkook playfully rolled his eyes before he excused himself to tend to his actual job. You just sat and observed while you drank, looking at him with loving eyes. He was really in his element here and it showed. All his customers were always happy patrons because he treated them all well.

Yeah, everything was playing out as it normally did on nights like these.

What you weren’t expecting, however, was for that to change.

On your way to find Yoongi so you could stop by and chat with him before heading home, you passed by a booth where a few rowdy men were seated. You tried to slip past them and pay them no mind-

-until one of them caught you by the wrist.

You froze. You wondered if maybe this was someone you knew and had possibly offended by not saying hello, but one look at the table let you know you’d never seen these 3 men before in your life.

“Hey, where you off to in a rush, baby?” The pet name made your skin crawl and you wanted nothing more than to just slink away and pretend like this never happened. But it was happening, the man’s tight grip on your wrist a reminder of that.

One of the other booth members spoke up. “Yeah, why not have a seat with us and talk for a bit? You look like you’re in need of some company.”

You shook your head and tried to muster a small smile so you could turn them down easy. You’d read and heard way too often about moments like these that could turn out badly if you acted a certain way.

“No thank you, I was just on my way out,” you hoped that would be the end of it, but the man holding your wrist wasn’t having it. He jerked you down to where you were seated right beside him in the empty space of the booth, making you whimper in pain when you hit the seat hard. His other friends laughed boisterously at your distress.

You situated yourself and looked up to see if you could spot someone, anyone around that you knew. You were unfortunately at the back corner of the bar, since Yoongi’s office was around here.

You tried to get up and make a break for it, but the man pulled you down again. “C’mon sweetheart, we don’t wanna hurt you. We just wanna talk, that’s all.”

Before you could respond, another voice cut through.

“Hands off,” the voice was low and stern, making all heads at the booth turn. When you looked up you saw Hoseok standing above you, arms crossed and looking pissed.

“Hoseok,” you breathed out, grateful that he was working the floor tonight and had stopped by before the situation escalated.

Hoseok didn’t say another word as his eyes drifted down to you quickly before glaring at the man still holding on to you.

“Lighten up, man, we’re just trying to have some fun-”

“I saw the whole thing and she’s clearly not wanting to engage in your idea of ‘fun’ so again: hands off.” Hoseok’s fingers flexed around his forearm, and apparently that was all the warning they needed.

The man let go of you and shoved you away from him, almost making you fall to the ground if Hoseok hadn’t steadied you. He wrapped an arm around you before calling out.

“Joon, Jin, need a hand here!”

Within seconds, the bodyguards of the establishment - also friends of yours - were at the table, looking as intimidating as ever. The 3 men still seated were starting to look a lot less pleased about the ordeal.

“I think these 3 have had it for the night,” Hoseok stated, starting to walk the both of you away so your friends could work their magic. You looked back at them one last time, just barely catching their interaction, which consisted of Seokjin promptly putting one of the men in his place when he tried to throw a punch.

When Hoseok had you seated in an empty booth at the other end of the bar, he knelt down beside you.

“Hey. You ok?” His voice had lost all its frightening timbre, now laced with nothing but concern. You didn’t realize you were still a little shaky until you noticed yourself trembling. You nodded, the best answer you could give right now.

Hoseok patted your knee before he stood up. “Stay here, I’m going to go get Kook-”

You reached out lightning fast to grab onto his sleeve before you pleaded “Don’t.”

Hoseok’s brows furrowed in confusion. “What, why not?”

“I don’t- I don’t want him to worry.” You were telling the truth; Jungkook had been on edge lately, and things were finally starting to get somewhat back to normal. If you didn’t have to add to that worry, you didn’t want to.

Hoseok’s frown deepened. “Y/N-”

“There you are!”

That voice that always managed to make your heart flutter only made you panic more in this instance. Jungkook was walking over to your booth quickly with a huge smile on his face, waving to the two of you. Hoseok moved out of the way so Jungkook could see you more, and you tried your best to smile back.

“Hey, I’ve been looking all over for you,” Jungkook addressed you as he pushed his hair out of his face. “I thought you went to go talk to Yoongi, but he said he hadn’t seen you yet.”

“Yeah, I was just on my way, but I ran into Hoseok-”

“Y/N,” Hoseok warned. Jungkook’s smile turned into one of confusion.

“What’s going on,” Jungkook was quick to ask before you could respond. It was then that he fully noticed how you were seated, somewhat curled into yourself.

“You need to tell him,” Hoseok’s eyes were burning into yours, and Jungkook felt a small pit of unease settle in his stomach. He knelt down beside you, similar to how Hoseok had done moments prior.

“Angel, hey, talk to me. What’s this about?” Jungkook took one of your hands in his and shook it slightly before placing a kiss on the back of it.

“It’s nothing, really-”

“Some guy put his hands on her.” Hoseok clearly was over you beating around the bush.

“What,” Jungkook’s tone was slipping into one you didn’t recognize and for good reason: he sounded furious. His hand tightened around yours.

Hoseok nodded, Jungkook’s attention on him now. “Yeah, I’m glad I noticed. Saw some dude grab her wrist and pull her down into the booth with them.”

Jungkook was up on his feet, hand disappearing from yours.

“What the fuck, where did they go,” he started to walk off but Hoseok held him back.

“Joon and Jin already took care of it, don’t worry. But I still just thought you should know.” Hoseok patted Jungkook on the shoulder and you watched as his body, still visibly tense, relaxed somewhat.

“I gotta get back to work, you can take a little time though, yeah?” Hoseok started walking off after giving you one last look, almost as if he was saying sorry but you knew he did the right thing.

Jungkook took a deep breath before finally looking back at you, his face softening instantly. He slid into the seat across from you, placing his palms on the table as he looked down.

“Koo-”

“Are you ok, at least,” his voice was low, but you could still hear it just over the faint tunes of the jukebox.

“I’m fine-”

“Define fine,” he scoffed. It was clear the two of you wouldn’t get anywhere like this, so you did the only thing you could think to do: you reached out and took both his hands in yours.

Jungkook looked up then through the curtain of tresses still falling into his eyes. He sighed.

“Sorry, baby, I know I shouldn’t be acting like this. It’s just- with everything we’ve been through with him I can’t help but worry about stuff like this.”

You understood completely because you were in the same boat.

Both of you had recently been experiencing less than pleasant encounters with your ex-fiancé, Kun, who for some reason decided he had a vendetta against the two of you. A vendetta that only got worse when you both made it clear you wanted nothing to do with him ever again.

The past week had been pretty quiet, but neither of you could shake the awful feeling that Kun wasn’t gone for good. And tonight’s fiasco did nothing to help that.

“Well it’s over now and I’m ok and I didn’t get hurt so let’s try not to focus on it, yeah?” You squeezed his hands for emphasis and he sighed. The last thing you wanted was for Jungkook to be worried the rest of his shift, and he still had a few hours left.

“Yeah, I’ll try. I’m just so glad Hoseok was around...are you still wanting to talk to Yoongi?”

You nodded, happy to see Jungkook had relaxed some more from when he first sat across from you.

“I’ll take you to his office, then.” Jungkook got up, pulling you with him since his hands were still in yours. When you both were standing, he wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you into a hug.

He looked down at you before placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “Also I hate to ask but do you mind staying until I get done with my shift? I’m not too keen on the idea of you going home alone now with everything-“

You giggled and caressed his cheek. “Of course, Koo. I’ll come sit at the bar when I get done talking to Yoongi.”

Jungkook brushed his nose against yours. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you,” you responded before you reached up to place a gentle kiss on his lips. His hold around you tightened, and he deepened the kiss for only a moment before pulling back.

“Fuck, I forgot I’m at work, I need to be careful when you’re around.” He carded a hand through his hair before shaking his head to let it fall back into place.

You laughed at his flustered nature, feeling a bit flustered yourself at the fact that even now you still had such an effect on each other. “Well we are back here in a dark corner where not many people are around,” you teased.

Jungkook smirked before tickling your sides, making you laugh louder as you squirmed to get away.

“Don’t tempt me. I’d rather not get fired for public indecency if I can help it.”

“Fine, fine, I guess just take me to see Yoongi then,” you pretended to pout and were rewarded with a chuckle. He led you to the back now where Yoongi’s office was at, his hand wrapped around yours while he scanned the bar the whole way there.

When the two of you reached the familiar door, Jungkook gave your hand one last squeeze and kissed your cheek.

“I’ve gotta get back to the bar, just come chill up there when you’re done, yeah?” His eyebrows were slightly furrowed like he was still worried, but your gentle smile helped smooth them out.

“Of course. I’ll see you soon.”

You knocked on the door and after hearing Yoongi’s muffled greeting you opened it to walk through, not sparing another glance at Jungkook.

“Y/N! I was wondering when you might be stopping by.” Yoongi smiled brightly at you, always making you feel welcome no matter the circumstance. You took a seat in your usual spot across from his desk where he was currently reclining in his chair.

“Hey, Yoon. How are things?” It’d been a little while since the two of you had properly caught up since things had been so chaotic lately.

Yoongi shrugged. “Can’t complain. Business is good and we’ve been pulling in more regulars. I’d like to say it’s thanks to Jungkook but don’t tell him I told you that. Kid has a big enough head as it is.”

You couldn’t help the proud grin that stretched across your face. Jungkook had been working hard to help turn the bar into a more welcoming environment and increased his work hours to also assist with some building upgrades Yoongi had been wanting to install for years. Their business had increased exponentially as a result, so you knew Yoongi meant it when he said he had Jungkook to thank.

“I’ll be sure to keep it our little secret,” you brought your hand up to mimic a ‘shh’ expression and Yoongi chuckled.

“Perfect.” He leaned forward then, an elbow resting on his desk and his head supported by his palm. “So tell me: how’s married life?”

“It’s everything I could ever want and more. I can’t say much has changed except the whole ‘legally being bound together’ thing, since we still act the same. It’s just…nice. Really, really nice.” Your gaze drifted down to your wedding ring, and as it was with every other time you saw it, you could feel something akin to butterflies fluttering inside your stomach.

Yoongi gave you his trademark lopsided grin. “Glad to hear it. You know, I was always rooting for you two from the start.”

You feigned annoyance, playfully rolling your eyes. “I know, I know, you only tell me every chance you get.” Yoongi never took a liking to your ex-fiancé and had always favored Jungkook, this much you knew. Even before Kun turned into the person he was now, Yoongi never cared for him. And he made sure it was known.

“Have you thought about when you’re going to pop the question?” You decided to switch gears and put him on the spot, giggling at the way he seemed flustered.

“Well I uh, I’ve thought about it I just- it’s hard to figure out the right time, you know? And is she even ready for that, I can’t tell-”

“Min Yoongi, you stop that right now. She is so in love with you that I bet she’s ready for you to ask any day now, just so she can say yes like she’s been wanting to for so long now.” You had spent enough time around Yoongi and his long-term partner to know that the two were head-over-heels for each other, nearly rivaling you and Jungkook in how easy it was to tell.

Yoongi grinned. “You think so, huh?”

“No doubt in my mind. In fact-” you were cut off by the feeling of your phone vibrating in your pocket. You hastily took it out, not sure who could be calling at this hour.

It dawned on you then that you had been expecting a new client to call, and the number on your screen was one you didn’t recognize so you figured it could be them. Your boss had heavily expressed the importance of this client and their business venture they were offering, so without giving it another thought you hopped out of your chair.

“Sorry Yoon, I need to take this real quick. Do you mind if I step out the back door? It shouldn’t take too long.” You were already heading to leave his office, trying to catch the call before it stopped ringing, barely missing his soft “Go ahead.”

You bolted through the back door of the establishment, out into the dimly lit parking lot. As soon as you heard the door shut, you swiftly answered the call.

“Hello, this is Y/N speaking, may I ask who’s calling?” You gave your usual greeting for work related or other conversations when you didn’t recognize the number. The silence that you were met with on the other end made a chill run down your spine.

You froze altogether when the other voice spoke.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you not to answer calls from numbers you don’t know?”

You felt your lower lip tremble. “K-Kun?”

A dark chuckle from the other end of the line. “Missed me, sweetheart?”

‘Just hang up,’ your brain was screaming at you, but you were holding your phone in an iron-tight grip, knuckles taut.

“Leave me alone and never contact me again,” you were finally able to respond, moving your arm to bring your phone down to hang up.

Your phone hit the ground before you got the chance.

Someone had come up behind you and pulled both arms behind your back, a hand coming around to muffle the scream you let out.

“Shhh,” someone whispered beside your ear. “You don’t want to make this harder for yourself, hm?”

That voice, why did you recognize that voice?

The person started dragging you off into one of the darker corners of the parking lot, ignoring your futile attempts to kick and writhe out of their grasp. You continued screaming into their palm but to no avail.

When you reached where they wanted you to be, they let you go and pushed you down onto the ground, causing your back to hit the wall and briefly knock the breath out of you. Before you could pick yourself back up, 2 other shadowy figures blocked your path. There was just enough light for you to finally make out the faces of the 3 people standing over you.

They were the same ones from earlier in the bar, the ones who had harassed you and yanked you down into their booth.

“What do you want,” you sobbed out into the night air. You were too terrified to try screaming again, afraid of what they might do. Especially now that you were across the lot, away from your phone and any chance of contacting someone else. Not to mention the fact that it was loud inside the bar, so screaming wouldn’t do you many favors anyway.

And if someone walked by, nothing would look out of the ordinary since it was just dark enough where you were to obscure the vision of anyone looking from the outside.

Before any of them could answer you, there was another sound you heard faintly in the distance: footsteps.

“Hel-,” you started to cry out, but as if they knew what you were planning, one of the men dropped down and covered your mouth again, now letting you see who was approaching behind them. Your eyes widened in terror as you took in the newcomer’s sinister grin.

You watched as Kun nodded to the other 2 men and they moved aside, while the third one still keeping your mouth covered moved slightly out of the way. Kun knelt down and moved his hand, replacing it with his own before you could scream again.

“Well well, fancy seeing you here.” Kun reached out and caressed your check with the back of his other hand, making you let out a strangled whimper as you tried to move back and away from him. He shook his head at your action and grabbed onto one of your arms now instead, pulling you and himself up in a swift motion.

His grip around your arm was painful, making you wince. Kun either didn’t notice or didn’t care. One look into his eyes was enough to see that the man you’d spent many years of your life with was completely gone with no trace left whatsoever. You didn’t know this person standing in front of you now.

And you didn’t ever want to.

“Now, I’m gonna move my hand, and you’re not gonna scream. Got it? Because if you do,” he moved forward to where his face was inches away from yours now. “I promise this will be so much worse for you. And you know I always keep my promises, don’t you?”

Kun was laughing before you could react at all, knowing good and well he’d broken several promises during your time together. He must have taken your silence as compliance because you could feel his hand relaxing around your face.

“Good girl,” the words made you shudder repulsively, wanting nothing more than for this to be just a terrible figment of your imagination and for you to be back inside at the bar waiting on Jungkook.

Jungkook. The thought of him caused a lump to form in your throat. You had no idea what Kun had planned for you, and that caused your heart to constrict as the vision of Jungkook smiling lovingly at you flashed through your mind.

You squeezed your eyes shut and felt a tear roll down your cheek. You opened them again once you felt Kun’s hand disappear.

“Ah, so you can take direction well. I guess Jungkook’s trained you somewhat since you’re his bitch now-”

“What do you want,” you asked through gritted teeth. The last thing you wanted to hear come from this man’s mouth was the name of your beloved. You didn’t want him brought up at all, the less this was focused on Jungkook the better.

But, since it was Kun, that obviously didn’t happen.

Kun laughed again, a loud, ugly sound. “What do I want? The same thing I’ve always wanted. Isn’t it obvious?”

The 3 men were crowded around both of you now, and it dawned on you then that they were blocking any means of escape for you. That didn’t bode well for you and you knew it, but you held your ground. You didn’t want to give Kun any more of the upper hand than he already had.

Kun finally dropped his other hand from your arm in favor of now caging you in against the wall. You were trapped even more now, but you just stared back at him, trying your best to look unfazed. Kun dipped his head down and you held your breath.

“What I want,” you could feel him barely hovering over your lips and the feeling made your skin crawl, “is for Jungkook to pay.”

“Pay for what,” you couldn’t help your annoyed tone. Kun’s obsession with Jungkook and ‘coming out on top’ – whatever that even meant, you weren’t entirely sure – had gotten old and you were beyond sick of it. “He owes you nothing, we owe you nothing.”

Kun hummed and shook his head, his nose almost brushing against yours, but you turned your head and let it graze against your cheek.

”I don’t think you get to decide that, not in the position you’re in, anyway. You see, I’m tired of seeing Jungkook get literally everything handed to him without trying-”

“Jungkook has worked hard for everything he has, something you wouldn’t know about,” you spat back. Kun was right, you were certainly in no position to be talking back right now, but you wouldn’t stand idly by while he slandered Jungkook just because he felt like it. “You’ve always been jealous of him-”

“Shut up, shut up!” Kun snarled, all but yelling in your face before he grabbed you by the jaw. You grimaced from the pain of it, a sound something like a scream starting but dying in your throat.

“You fucking infuriate me sometimes, you know that? I can’t believe I wasted so many years with you.” His grip around your jaw tightened as he finished talking, making it almost too hard for you to respond.

“Likewise,” you managed to get out, not being able to help the sob you let out when he squeezed more.

“Doesn’t matter.” Kun’s face stretched into that evil, Cheshire-like grin and for the first time that night you felt genuinely horrified about what his true intentions might be. “I’m not concerned with you or how you feel.”

Kun finally let go of your jaw and you let out the breath you didn’t realize you had been holding in. He grabbed one of your wrists and tugged you closer, knocking you off balance and unfortunately causing you to brace yourself against his chest.

He hugged you to him and whispered in your ear: “What I do care about is seeing Jungkook’s reaction when his precious wife is suddenly nowhere to be found.”

That kicked you into fight or flight mode, eyes widening and mouth opening to scream as you flailed your hands around. Your flailing did little to help you because Kun was already dragging you alongside him away from the wall, still holding you close.

“Let me go, you psycho!” you screamed, only causing him to turn you around and put a hand over your mouth again while his other arm held you firm against his torso.

“One of you bring the car around,” Kun ordered, and you saw one of the men dashing away. As you were pulled further away from the bar, your vision was clouded with a film of tears and your muffled sobs were hidden behind Kun’s hand. You were no match for his strength, and he proved it because he was literally dragging you across the concrete despite you being so uncooperative. Gentle raindrops had just started falling from the sky, further impairing your vision.

It was then that you heard a pained grunt followed by a thud coming from a little further away, in the direction the other man had ran off to. You tried to focus your eyes to see what was happening when the next sound that graced your ears was fast footsteps as they pounded against the pavement.

“Get your fucking hands off of her!”

A familiar voice made you cry out with joy and fight harder against Kun.

“Yoongi,” you cried out, still muffled but enough to draw his attention to your face now. He was running toward Kun fast, and when he saw the position you were in, he sped up, determined to free you by any means necessary.

You briefly worried about the other men behind him, until you saw that another was already knocked down and someone else – you thought it might be Jimin – was currently fighting with the third man. While your attention was on them, you didn’t register Kun tossing you aside until it was too late.

You slipped on the now wet pavement and fell down, barely able to brace yourself for the impact in time. Your earlier vision of Jungkook smiling was the last thing to flash through your mind before your head hit the ground.

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

Yoongi glanced at his watch for the second time. It’d been about 10 minutes since you stepped outside to take your phone call, and he figured it had to have been important if you were still outside.

As he was wondering whether or not to call you himself to see if everything was alright, Jimin stuck his head inside the office, peeking around the door. “Hey boss, is Y/N around?”

Yoongi sat up straight. “Yeah, she stepped outside to take a call but it’s been a few minutes. Why?”

Jimin’s face blanched. “She went alone?”

“Yeah... Jimin’s what’s going on?”

Jimin took a deep breath. “It’s probably nothing, but earlier there were some guys that straight up harassed her. They were thrown out but-“

Yoongi held a hand up. “Wait. Pause. Someone harassed her? Why is this the first I’m hearing about it?”

Jimin had stepped fully into the room now, rubbing at the back of his neck as he looked at the ground. “Well it wasn’t that long ago, so maybe nobody had the chance yet.”

Yoongi’s brows furrowed. “Does Jungkook know?”

Jimin nodded. “Yeah, he’s the one who asked me to come check on her without being too obvious about it. I think the whole thing has him spooked.”

Yoongi didn’t like the feeling that was slowly creeping up on him. He dialed your number and put the receiver to his ear, hoping to hear a busy signal on the other end.

When he was met with a series of rings, his heart started beating faster. He was up and out of his chair fully by the time he heard your voicemail greeting.

“Fuck,” he mumbled out loud to no one in particular. He was jogging over to the back door, a confused Jimin following close behind.

“Yoongi, what-”

“Not now, Jimin.” He picked up his pace, feeling his chest tighten as he approached the door. He was hoping that when he opened it you would be on the other side, because maybe you just lost track of time and your phone was on silent.

Wishful thinking helps in times of peril, right?

Yoongi pushed the door open quickly, letting it bang against the side of the bar. You were nowhere in sight, his eyes frantically searching through the lot for a trace of you.

What he was met with, though, was instead the sight of 3 - maybe 4? - dark figures across the lot, huddled in a suspicious way. His heart dropped to his stomach.

He started running, not knowing what would meet him when he did, but not caring either. As he approached, one of the figures tried to block him. He took them down easily with a single punch, making them groan in pain as their body connected with the ground. Yoongi never stopped running for even a moment.

His heart wrenched when his vision finally adjusted enough to the darkness outside and he could see you and exactly who was holding you.

“Get your fucking hands off of her!” He shouted as he continued running, getting ready to barrel into Kun at any moment.

Hearing your faint cry of his name only made him go faster when his eyes landed on your horrified face.

It was raining now but Yoongi wouldn’t let that stop him from saving you. What he didn’t anticipate was for Kun to throw you in the opposite direction, making him conflicted about who to go after now. He settled for pursuing Kun still, finally reaching him and grabbing him by the shirt.

“What the actual fuck is your problem,” Yoongi yelled in Kun’s face. Kun brought his hands up to try and tear Yoongi’s away, but they wouldn’t budge.

Kun stopped trying to fight back and smiled at Yoongi, making a fresh wave of disgust cascade over him. When Kun spoke, his voice had a calm edge to it. “I’ll just keep coming back, no matter how many times you and those idiots in there,” he jerked his head in the direction of the bar, “try to keep me away.”

Yoongi quickly spun Kun around and forced him to the ground, keeping his hands behind his back and not giving him a way to escape. “Jimin, call the cops,” he called over his shoulder before leaning closer to Kun’s face. “We may not be able to keep you away, but they certainly can with all the dirt we have on you.”

Kun chuckled slightly before grimacing when Yoongi twisted his arm further. “You know,” he huffed out, “Y/N was pretty off balance when I threw her earlier.”

Yoongi stilled. He realized that Kun was trying to distract him by making him worry about you, and unfortunately for Yoongi it was working. Especially when his eyes fell on your unmoving figure several feet away, lying on your side.

“Shit,” he jumped up and ran over to you, completely abandoning Kun, beyond caring at that point. He knelt down and turned you over. He swallowed when he saw the way your arm landed limply on the ground beside him. He embraced your upper body within his arms, shaking you a little.

“Y/N, hey, wake up,” he begged. He could feel that you were still breathing, but it was very evident your fall had knocked you out. And Yoongi knew there was no telling what happened before he even got to you, so he had no clue how injured you might actually be.

He heard footsteps approaching from behind him, splashing against the puddles that were starting to form in the parking lot. He didn’t have to look up to know it was Jimin, since the other man was calling out his name before he got there.

“Yoongi, I called them, they said – wait where did he go?” Jimin was standing over Yoongi now, looking from one area of the parking lot to the other, but Kun was nowhere in sight. “Did you let him leave?”

Yoongi’s silence prompted Jimin to finally look down and his mouth dropped open as he himself dropped to kneel next to Yoongi.

“Holy shit, what happened,” Jimin reached out to gingerly touch your arm, frown deepening when he got no response from you.

“She probably hit her head when that bastard threw her earlier. She’s just knocked out, I think,” Yoongi���s voice was lined with unbridled anger. “Go see if you can find Jin since he’s the closest thing we have to a medic right now. And get Kook.”

Jimin nodded and without another word took off toward the bar. Yoongi couldn’t fathom how Jungkook would react but he knew it wouldn’t be good. As he waited, he held you closer, trying to shield you from the rain.

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

Jungkook’s fingers were drumming against the bar absentmindedly as he listened to one of his regular patrons drone on about their week as they usually did on nights like tonight. He was genuinely trying to focus on what they were saying, truly he was, but his mind had been so muddled ever since the incident earlier that he found it hard to think about anything else.

Which is exactly why he had asked Jimin to casually check in on you and Yoongi.

It’d been a few minutes and Jimin still wasn’t back; Jungkook hoped that they were all 3 chatting and Jimin was just taking his time. He did want him to be inconspicuous about it, after all.

His patron finally excused themselves to go to the restroom, and Jungkook offered them a soft smile. For a second, he allowed himself to take a deep breath and try to push any lingering negative thoughts out of his mind so he could make it through the rest of his shift.

Jungkook should’ve known better than to hope for a moment’s peace.

He heard Jimin before he saw him, colliding with the other end of the bar. Jungkook cautiously started walking over to him, trying to ignore the heavy feeling that settled over his body like a suffocating blanket.

“Kook,” Jimin panted, “we need you. Now.”

The expression on Jimin’s face and the urgency of his voice made Jungkook’s blood run cold. He wasted no time in leaving the bar as he followed Jimin, nearly running him over when Jimin stopped once they were outside. As his sight adjusted to the drizzling rain, he saw something that made him run as fast as he could before eventually falling to his knees, panic seizing his heart.

“No. No no no no no,” Jungkook was chanting over and over as he stared at you, huddled against Yoongi as he held you close. Your eyes were closed and you weren’t moving.

Jungkook’s hands were shaking, and he could feel his lips quivering. Yoongi stared at Jungkook somberly before gentle passing you over to him.

He immediately drew you to him, burying your face in his chest while he cradled the back of your head with his palm.

The rain started pouring down harder now and he knew it was pelting against his back, cold and wet enough to chill him to the bone. But Jungkook felt nothing. There was nothing but numbness as he continued to rock you gently in his arms and placed a kiss on the top of your head.

“Hey angel, I’m here,” his voice was unsteady. “It’s me, baby, I’ve got you. You’re gonna be ok,” his arm that was wrapped around your back tightened its hold on you and he placed his head in the crook of your neck. You still didn’t rouse, no matter what he tried, and his shoulders started to shake.

“Kook-” Yoongi had to talk loud to be heard over the sudden downpour. “We need to get her inside.” He tried reaching out to touch Jungkook’s arm but Jungkook flinched away, embracing you even tighter now as if he was trying to protect you from anything and everything.

He just wanted to protect you. And the fact that he had failed was currently eating him alive with regret.

Yoongi sighed but tried again. “Jungkook,” he said it softer this time but still loud enough, “let’s take her inside. You don’t want her to get sick.”

At the mention of your well-being potentially suffering further damage, Jungkook started to somewhat come back to his senses. He held you tight and stood up with a little help from Yoongi, making sure to keep you as close to his chest as possible so you wouldn’t get soaked and because right now, he needed you near.

When the 3 of you were inside, Yoongi ushered you all into his office since there was a small couch in there were you could lie down. Jungkook placed you as gently as possible on the couch, feeling his heart break piece by piece every second you remained unmoving. The only thing that could offer him solace was the faint rise and fall of your chest as you breathed.

He dropped to sit on the floor beside the couch, holding one of your hands in his while he used his other one to brush some of your wet hair out of your face. He leaned his forehead against the arm of the couch and inhaled shakily.

Yoongi was leaning against his desk with his arms crossed, looking at the two of you. Jungkook appreciated Yoongi for giving him time to try and calm down before talking again.

“What happened,” Jungkook managed to croak after a minute or so had passed.

Yoongi took a deep breath. “Kun was here.”

Jungkook whipped his head around fast, his hair splaying water droplets on the couch. His eyes were glazed over with unshed tears, and Yoongi had never seen him look so angry.

He’d never seen Jungkook look so hurt.

“Kun did this to her,” Jungkook asked, tone low and dark, but it came out more as a statement because he already knew. He could tell by the angered inflection in Yoongi’s voice when he mentioned Kun.

Yoongi nodded. “Unfortunately. When I first made it outside, he was holding onto her, dragging her away-”

“Dragging her where,” his hand that was holding yours involuntarily squeezed harder.

Yoongi shrugged, shaking his head. “I don’t know, it looked like he was trying to take her to a car…”

Jungkook didn’t miss the way he trailed off. He waited for Yoongi to collect his thoughts.

 “Jungkook, I- I think he may have been trying to abduct her.”

Jungkook felt like the room had suddenly tilted. The idea of that – God, the idea of anything remotely close to that – made him feel violently ill.

He looked at your face then, noticing how it wasn’t scrunched up in pain; you actually looked quite peaceful despite the circumstances, almost like you were simply in a deep slumber. He tried hard to swallow around the ever-growing lump that was still forming in his throat when he brushed his fingertips along the length of your arm.

You were here, physically here. He could see you and he could touch you. Yoongi had saved you in time before you had been whisked away to who knows where. The fact that Kun had even dared to try to take you away… the possibility of you being gone and Jungkook not knowing where you had been taken to or if he’d ever see you again-

It made Jungkook see red.

This isn’t the life he wanted for you. He never wanted you to have to look over your shoulder in fear at the idea of someone following you, like you’d been doing the last several weeks. He never ever wanted you to get hurt, especially in such a way as this.

He could feel anger flowing through his veins, seeping into his bones and consuming him, with the only thing able to ground him right now being the feeling of your soft hand enveloped by his own.

Yoongi was saying more but Jungkook couldn’t make it out over his own voice screaming at him inside his head. His mind was waging a war with itself, questioning so many things-

Was he really the best person for you?

Was there someone out there who could protect you, who could keep you safe in ways he couldn’t?

…

Would loving you be enough if he could never fully promise you peace?

What if-

“Jungkook,” Yoongi’s stern voice cut through the thick fog of his mind and Jungkook shook his head to try clear it completely. He focused his attention on his friend that was now staring at him, sporting a frown on his face full of concern.

“Did you hear anything I just said?”

Jungkook gulped. “Honestly? No.”

Yoongi’s frown intensified. “Kook-”

“Don’t, just- please repeat it. Please.”

Yoongi sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before he continued. “I was saying that Kun threw her to the ground and that’s how she hit her head.”

Jungkook’s unoccupied hand balled into a fist and he clenched his jaw. Yoongi could see him tense up but continued speaking.

“I asked Jimin to fetch Jin seeing as he’s had more medical training than any of us and I figured it’d be better than waiting on an ambulance.”

He had barely gotten the last word out before there was hurried knocking on the door. Yoongi walked over to the door quickly to open it, and Jin rushed in without a moment’s hesitation.

“Sorry it took so long, I needed to get supplies.” He made his way to the couch, crouching down in front of it next to Jungkook. He placed the bag he was carrying down onto the ground beside him as he started sifting through it to find other things he needed. Jungkook watched Jin without really seeing him, flinching a little when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Kook,” Yoongi said softly as Jungkook looked up at him. “We need to let Jin look at her. C’mon,” he patted his shoulder before walking away, and Jungkook knew Yoongi expected him to follow him.

Jungkook also knew Yoongi was right, and he needed to let Jin get to work. He hated the thought of leaving you, but he knew he wasn’t going far. In fact, he wasn’t even going to leave the room, and if he was encouraged to, well-

There wasn’t anything anyone could do to make him leave that room short of physically removing him themselves. And with how wound up Jungkook was about this entire situation, that wouldn’t be an easy feat by any means.

Thankfully, Yoongi didn’t ask him to leave, opting instead to offer him his office chair. Jungkook graciously accepted the offer and sat down, briefly observing how Jin carefully examined you from across the room before he placed his head in his hands.

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

Some time passed before Jungkook felt like he could properly breathe again. And he was only feeling like that now because you had finally started to stir.

As soon as the faintest noise was heard from you, Jungkook was out of his seat and in front of the couch again.

You groaned as you rubbed your eyes, trying to adjust to the light by blinking a few times. After doing this, you tilted your head to the side and your eyes landed on Jungkook. He inhaled sharply, feeling like he might break apart when you gave him the sweetest smile.

“Koo,” you breathed out softly as your hand reached up to caress his cheek. He vaguely heard Jin telling Yoongi something about you still having decent control over your motor skills being a good sign, but right now all his focus was on you specifically.

Well, he was also focusing on not having a breakdown, but you were most important.

His hand came up to cover yours that was still on his face and for the first time in what felt like ages, his lips curved upward into a smile.

“Hey, angel,” he responded. “How are you feeling?”

 Your eyebrows furrowed. “Well, my head hurts but otherwise I’m fine? A little sore, though-”

“That’s probably from your fall earlier,” Jin interrupted, pulling your attention back to him. You looked at him, bewildered.

“I fell? When did I fall?”

Yoongi and Jungkook shared a look then, and Jungkook would be lying if he said you not remembering what happened didn’t worry him.

It worried him a lot, actually.

Jin hummed. “We can talk about it later. I need to examine you now though, ok? Make sure you don’t have any signs of a concussion or something else.”

The scared look on your face made Jungkook’s chest tighten.

“O-ok, yeah, sure. Do whatever you need to,” you said as you tried to sit up straight, Jungkook and Jin both helping to steady you as you did.

It didn’t take long for Jin to conduct his examination. While he was checking you over, Yoongi relayed the events from earlier to you and Jungkook observed as the look in your eyes switched from one of confusion to one of horror the more Yoongi went on.

“I-I remember now. Right before you came out there, Kun told me-” you trailed off, speaking to Yoongi but looking over at Jungkook now. His heart started beating painfully when you paused.

“What did he tell you, baby?”

You inhaled unevenly, the sight tearing Jungkook up even more on the inside. “He told me that he wanted to see your reaction when I was nowhere to be found.”

This time, he swore his heart stopped.

So Kun had not only planned to take you away, but he wanted to make sure you couldn’t be found?

Jungkook made a promise to himself then and there that if he ever saw Kun again, he’d-

“Koo?”

Your pleading tone made Jungkook’s eyes snap back up to your face. You were trying to give him a small smile, but he could still see the fear lying behind your eyes.

“It’s going to be ok,” you attempted to reassure him. “Don’t worry.”

Jungkook had no idea how you could sit here an expect him not to worry but he didn’t want to fight you on it. You’d both had enough excitement for one night so all he did was nod and hope that would suffice for now.

His mind was starting to race again with the same kind of thoughts he had earlier, plaguing him with questions he didn’t know the answers to.

Frankly, he didn’t even know if he wanted the answers either.

Jin stood up from where he was seated on the floor, straightening himself up and stretching his long limbs. “She’s going to be fine. Just keep an eye on her for the next few days, but I don’t see anything to be alarmed about. If anything changes, you can call me but also if you’re more comfortable going to a hospital, that’s fine too. I won’t be offended.”

Jungkook smiled at his eldest friend. “Thank you, Jin. Seriously, thank you.”

Jin nodded, offering a warm smile to you before exiting the room.

Yoongi walked over to the couch and ruffled your hair. Jungkook watched the exchange with fondness, seeing two of the people he cared about most in the world also caring for each other.

“I’m so glad you’re ok,” Yoongi said, sounding utterly tired. You thanked him again for what he had done, and Jungkook left the two of you alone momentarily so he could check on Jimin and Hoseok at the bar. They entertained him for all of maybe 5 seconds before shooing him away, assuring him that they could handle things and that he should just take you home and be with you right now.

Jungkook thought nothing sounded better.

When he made it back to Yoongi’s office, he saw that you were now sitting on the armrest of the couch. Yoongi must have helped you get up from the couch, seeing as he was standing beside you, and Jungkook strode over to take his place now with an arm around your waist. Yoongi didn’t say anything about him leaving other than to wish you both a goodnight and that he would talk to Jungkook later.

Jungkook helped you walk to the car, not letting you go for even a fraction of a second, despite your teasing him about being able to walk on your own. Be that as it may, he still wouldn’t let go, because the truth of the matter was he was just too scared to.

It wasn’t until you were both in the car riding home that Jungkook let those negative thoughts devour him once more.

And this time, they were almost impossible to shake away.

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

When both of you finally arrived home, Jungkook opened the door and surveyed the room before letting you go inside. You knew his paranoia was at an all-time high right now and frankly you couldn’t blame him; you were still really unsettled, too.

But you were more of the mindset that it’s in the past now and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. You never liked to dwell too long on things and Jungkook was becoming better about that as well.

You weren’t sure if it’d be that easy this time, though.

He’d barely said a word to you the whole ride home, and even now as you were both standing by the front door while he locked it, he was still eerily quiet. Once it was sufficiently locked enough by Jungkook’s standards, he gave you one last look before he started walking down the hallway. You frowned and followed him.

“Koo?”

No response.

“Baby? Talk to me.” It looked like he was trying to go to the kitchen, but it was still dark in the house since he’d barely turned on any of the lights, so you weren’t sure. Still no answer.

“Jungkook.” You called out sternly this time and just barely spotted him as he disappeared into the kitchen. When he heard you walk in, he finally spoke.

“You should eat something, what do you want?”

His voice broke your heart.

“I’m not hungry-”

“You can go lay down, Jin said you didn’t have a concussion so it should be fine. I can bring some food up for you.” He was leaning against the counter in front of the sink, his back turned to you and his head hanging somewhat.

He sounded not at all like himself, and it scared you. Not in the way that you were scared of him, but you were scared because you didn’t know what to do.

Talking was obviously getting you nowhere, so you instead walked up to him and wrapped your arms around him from behind, placing your cheek against his back. He flinched.

“Baby, please,” his voice sounded like it was breaking so you just held him tighter, hoping he could feel your love from the way you embraced him as if you never wanted to let him go.

“Koo, I need you to talk to me. I need to know what’s wrong-”

“What’s wrong is me,” he gritted out, tone louder than before and it made you jump. He then released himself from your arms and tried to walk away.

“Jungkook, wait,” you scrambled to go after him, catching him before he could disappear into another room, this time turning him around to face you. He was leaning against the wall and didn’t try to move past you anymore, but he avoided your gaze.

“Koo, look at me,” you stressed, ducking down to peek up at him. He finally raised his head so you could look into his eyes at a normal level. You noticed the tears in the corner of his eyes, and it nearly made you start crying yourself.

Jungkook never hid his vulnerability from you, he never hid anything from you. But even so, it was still a rare sight to see him cry.

“Why do you want to be around me right now,” he questioned, voice wavering and you recognized the sound. He was trying to hold himself back from crying.

“Koo, what do you mean, why wouldn’t I want to be around you? I love you-”

“I couldn’t protect you,” his voice rose in pitch, not to talk over you but because he was just so upset. “I couldn’t save you, I wasn’t around to help you- God, baby, you got fucking attacked and I wasn’t there.”

He was trembling and you tried to steady him by placing your hands on his shoulders. Tears were flowing freely down his cheeks now, and they were bound to start pooling in your own eyes any second.

“None of that is your fault,” you emphasized your words by squeezing his shoulders. “Ok? No one could have predicted what that psycho was gonna do, not you, not me, not Yoongi, nobody.”

“For fuck’s sake, he almost kidnapped you-”

“But he didn’t and I’m here.” You brushed his cheek to wipe some of the tears away and he choked back a sob. “I’m here, with you, and that’s what matters.”

“I could have lost you,” he said it just above a whisper as you moved to brush the tears away from his other cheek.

You blinked back your own tears. “You didn’t lose me.”

“But I could have. We have no idea what the fuck he’s capable of and just- every time I think about what might have happened if no one got to you in time, I start to lose my mind.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and reached up on your tip-toes to place a gentle kiss on his lips, heart lurching when he actually kissed you back and his hands found purchase on your waist as they usually did.

“You didn’t lose me. You have me. All of me. I’m right here,” you kissed him once more. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

Jungkook let out a sob as he pulled you closer, nearly crushing you with his embrace. You ran your hand through his hair to try and soothe him when he leaned his forehead on your shoulder.

“I was so fucking scared,” he said against your skin. “So terrified. I love you so much,” a tender kiss was placed on the side of your neck now, and you could feel his lips still trembling.

“I love you,” your response prompted another small sob from him, “I love you more than anyone or anything else in this world and I’ll show you that everyday for the rest of my life, as long as you let me.”

“Baby-” Jungkook’s voice cracked with so much raw emotion and you couldn’t help yourself anymore. You were determined to show him your conviction behind your statement, so with your hand still buried in his hair, you pulled him down to your level once more as you crashed your lips together.

You’d never felt anything quite like the emotions that coursed through you every single time you kissed Jungkook. It didn’t matter if it was the cute good morning kisses upon waking up, the silly, laughter-filled ones that happened in the midst of playing around, or the intense ones bursting with passion that always led to something more. Each one was different and better than the last, and it was like a language between you both filled with unspoken words that demonstrated exactly what you felt.

This was one of the many ways the two of your expressed your devotion to one another, through an action as simple as kissing yet the feelings it always evoked inside of you were anything but. And even during times like tonight when you’d both endured something extremely emotional, you could still find comfort in each other through these gestures.

When you finally broke apart, you were both panting breathlessly, and Jungkook rested his forehead against yours.

“Sorry, baby,” Jungkook breathed, voice somewhat raspy. His fingers had started gripping your waist harder during the exchange, but you felt them start to loosen.

That was most definitely something you didn’t want, so you placed your hands on the sides of his face and looked him in the eyes.

“Koo,” you spoke softly, cautiously, as if you were testing the waters. “Can I give you all of me?”

His eyes sparkled with the realization of what you were implying, and for a moment you wondered if he would reject you. And if he did, that would be completely fine with you because his comfort mattered most of all to you right now, as it always did. Tonight had been a lot to deal with and you weren’t sure what mindset he would be in about this sort of thing-

That thought remained unfinished in your mind as Jungkook captured your lips again and all other rational thought went out the window. All you could focus on now was how Jungkook’s body felt melded up against yours, how his mouth was exploring yours like he’d done so many times before, how his fingers dug into your skin like he was afraid to let you go.

You jumped up and Jungkook wrapped your legs around his waist, never breaking the kiss while he turned you around so that your back was against the wall. You heard a low groan come from him as you intensified the kiss before he pulled away.

“Angel, are you sure about this?” He was holding you up with help from the wall, hands placed on your thighs just underneath your ass. Your hand was playing with the hair at the nape of his neck since you knew how much he loved that. “The last thing I want to do is hurt you-”

“Koo, I’m fine. I feel fine and I’m not in pain. I promise. I want this. I want you,” you gave him another searing kiss that you felt yourself melting into. “But only if you want it too.”

Jungkook’s next kiss knocked the breath out of you and he swallowed the surprised whimper you let out. “Of course, baby. I always want you.”

His words never failed to make you feel warm all over, with love and adoration as well as arousal. Right now, you were feeling all of these things as he situated your legs around his waist in a more comfortable position.

“Do you want to do this here,” he panted as his eyes met yours again. You could tell he was getting worked up just having you like this here against the wall, so you wasted no time answering him.

“Yes Koo, please,” you urged him to continue. “Wanna feel you close. Don’t wanna wait.”

“Fuck, I mean, I could take us upstairs-” his words ended with a grunt as you drew him closer by wrapping your legs tighter around him, making him grind against you. His head dipped down to rest against your shoulder as he let out shallow breaths, his fingers threatening to make indentations in your skin.

In a somewhat frenzied manner, Jungkook put you back down on your feet so the both of you could remove your clothes, too impatient to take everything off and only getting rid of what was necessary. When both of your lower halves were bare, he secured you around his waist once more, his length rapidly hardening against your now naked thigh.

You reached in between the two of you to wrap your hand around him, and the feeling was enough to have him inhaling sharply before he kissed you with a newfound urgency. You could tell by the way he was moaning against your mouth that your teasing caresses were working and within no time he was ready. You let out a stuttered moan when Jungkook’s long fingers disappeared inside of you so he could make sure you were stretched enough.

When he deemed you prepped enough – and when you started rocking against his fingers with impatient whimpers – he withdrew so he could line himself up with you. Your already soaked folds were threatening to pull him in, and it was almost too much for him to handle in his heightened emotional state.

He pushed in slowly, inch by inch, as he always did. The stretch made you lean your head back against the wall, his soft curses only spurring you on even more. On other nights you might would try to coax him to be a little rougher because you knew you could take it, but tonight you weren’t in a rush for anything, and neither was he. Tonight was about you two being together as one, relishing the way you shared this connection with each other and conveying it through this intimate act.

Both of you sighed in pleasure when Jungkook bottomed out, finally experiencing that complete closeness the two of you craved more than anything else right now. His hands gripped your ass firmly to start moving you up and down his length in slow, steady strokes. He didn’t want to take things fast or go hard tonight – he just wanted to enjoy this feeling, having you so close and yet still wanting to pull you impossibly closer.

The feeling of your warmth around him mixed with the tousling of your hands in his hair was driving him crazy. Every touch from you, no matter how small, always ignited something within him that he couldn’t explain. He was so unapologetically, wholeheartedly in love with you.

And he’d just come so close to losing you.

Pain twisted his heart as he stared at you, watching your face scrunch up in the most beautiful way. Your head was tilted back with your eyes crinkled shut while his name was falling from your lips in hushed whispers. Each thrust was pushing you further up the wall before he would bring you back down again, and your arms wound themselves around his neck to help anchor yourself further.

You looked ethereal, and Jungkook was trying so hard to focus on you and not the negative thoughts that were once again settling uncomfortably in his mind. His body was fighting itself on whether he should succumb to the pleasure he was feeling or if he should submit to the dark cloud blanketing his mind.

His change in demeanor didn’t go unnoticed by you.

Jungkook continued to move inside of you, keeping a consistent pace, but something wasn’t right. He was looking at you, but he wasn’t looking at you. He had a pained expression on his face, and that’s what kicked your own worry into gear.

“Koo, baby, hey what’s wrong?” You held his face in both of your hands and watched as he crumbled underneath your touch. He had slid his hands up to rest against your back now in an attempt to embrace you further, hands trapped in between you and the wall.

You almost started panicking when you saw the tears start to brim in his eyes again.

“I just-” he choked on a cry and your heart wrenched at the sound, “I can’t stop thinking about it.” He was still moving but his pace had slowed down to a near stop.

“Thinking about what?” You weren’t sure you wanted to know but you needed him to talk to you.

“Thinking about losing you, I can’t-”

His hands reached up higher to grasp onto your shirt you were still wearing, clenching the fabric in his fists as he dragged it down. You could feel the collar of the front of your shirt tightening around you while he hid his head in the crook of your neck and started to shake. You wrapped your arms around him as tightly as you could and ran a hand through his hair, trying to soothe him.

“Please stay,” he whispered, almost too quiet for you to hear. “Please stay with me.”

“Koo-”

“I love you so much, I don’t want to lose you,” more sobs wracked through his body. He had otherwise stilled inside of you but made no effort to move away. “I can’t lose you, I-”

“Baby, look at me.”

Jungkook slowly brought his head up to face you, the sight making you want to break down yourself. He looked so defeated, so broken, and his eyes were shining with tears he didn’t bother hiding anymore.

You cradled his face in your hands, rubbing your thumbs across his cheekbones before they travelled to trace along the curves of his jawline.

You placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, listening as he tried to control his erratic breathing. “I won’t leave you.”

A soft kiss on his lips. “I’ll never leave you.”

You brushed his hair back from his face, and his eyes captivated you as they swirled with so much intense emotion.

“I promised you forever, and I intend to keep it. Nothing, and no one, is going to keep me from you. I love you too much to let that happen,” you granted him a sweet smile and brushed your thumb across his lower lip that had started to quiver. He sniffled as you continued.

“Do you remember our wedding vows?”

Jungkook swallowed as he nodded, seeming a little calmer now.

Your smile widened, and your own set of fresh tears had gathered in the corners of your eyes, ready to spill. “Remember how I told I would give you all of me? That I would give you the best of me?”

He nodded again, and your heart soared at the tiny smile he presented you with.

“I promised you those things. So, no matter what happens, I’ll never leave you. And with everything life throws as us from here on out, we’ll make it through together.”

His smile was widening into the familiar, bunny-like grin you knew and loved dearly. Your Jungkook was coming back to you, and it was almost like you could see the dark fog that had surrounded him evaporating before your very eyes.

“I love you, Jeon Jungkook.” You leaned up to tenderly press your lips to his once more, smiling into the kiss as he let out a content sigh. “You’re my person. My forever. Please always remember that.”

You had swept a long lock of hair back from his face as you finished your words, and while you were distracted with that, Jungkook stared at you like you hung the moon and all the stars.

Your declarations of love stirred something inside of him and it dawned on him then that he was still inside of you. This was made more evident when you shifted in his embrace, probably to make yourself more comfortable since you were still against the wall, but it caused your walls to clench around him.

He closed his eyes and groaned, the sound causing arousal to radiate throughout your body. The two of you clearly must have forgotten the position you were in but that was no longer the case when you felt him twitch inside of you.

“Fuck,” he moaned at the sight of you when he opened his eyes again, his hands letting go of your shirt in favor of settling on your waist. Your cheeks were still flushed, with drying tear stains running down them. You were panting softly and Jungkook’s heart felt like it might burst with all the love he had for you.

“I love you,” he declared while he brushed his nose with yours. “And I honestly cannot believe I forgot I was fucking you, like how does that even happen.”

You giggled, kissing the tip of his nose before you drew back to rest contentedly against the wall. “I’m not sure, but do you perhaps want to finish what we started?”

You moved your hips as best you could at your current angle, and it pushed his cock further inside you, making you both moan at the action. He captured one of your hands in his and brought it up to place a kiss on your knuckles.

“Will you still let me give you all of me,” you reiterated your phrase from earlier in the night before all of this started. Jungkook’s eyes had darkened now with lust and he gave you a sly smile.

“Always, baby,” was his response. “Question now though,” he leaned down to let his lips ghost along your neck, making you shiver, “is can you take all of me?”

You tugged on his hair for him to look up at you, making him hiss in the process. You gave him your best challenging stare, and hoped it was convincing.

“Always,” you copied him, “I can easily take anything you give me.”

Jungkook arched an eyebrow and you felt his length twitch at your words. “Is that so?

You barely had time to nod before he was pinning your hand that he was holding on the wall beside your head, his other one gripping your waist hard enough now you knew it would leave a mark.

He pulled out almost all the way before he thrusted back into you hard, making you whine embarrassingly loud. He chuckled dark and low then, squeezing your hand as he intertwined your fingers.

“Too much for you, angel?” Jungkook knew he couldn’t keep this up forever and that he’d eventually crack himself, but he never missed an opportunity to tease you like this. “Thought you said you could take everything I give you.”

You nodded vigorously, not an easy feat with your head leaning against the wall. “I can, I can take it,” you breathed out, clenching around him to try and persuade him to move again. He stuttered out a low moan, determined to not lose his composure just yet.

“Yeah? You sure? Does that mean you want more?” He was shallowly moving inside of you at a torturously slow pace, the drag of his cock against your walls pulling a loud noise of desperation from your throat.

“Please,” you begged, not even caring how desperate you sounded. You just wanted to feel him, all of him, and your core throbbed at the thought of him finally relenting and fucking you how you wanted. “Please give it to me. Please give me more.”

“Fuck, baby, I love hearing you beg for me,” Jungkook moaned, readjusting his grip on your hip. “Gonna give you exactly what you want.”

He hungrily kissed you for a few moments, sinking further into you before he pulled back, panting as he placed his forehead against yours, eyes closed.

“Angel?” His voice was low and just the tone alone made you clench.

“Y-yes?”

He opened his eyes and smiled. “You might wanna hold on tight.”

You just had enough time to wrap your unoccupied arm around his back before he started pounding into you like his life depended on it. He slammed into you repeatedly, making you scream out his name over and over again whenever he’d hit that bundle of nerves inside of you. You gripped his shirt to have something to ground yourself with, and your eyes rolled back as he increased his pace.

Jungkook was grunting into your skin, teeth grazing against your neck. “You feel so fucking good, always so tight and perfect for me, my perfect angel.” He squeezed your hand hard enough that his knuckles were taut, but it didn’t hurt you. If anything, it turned you on more because he was finally letting go, caring more about just being in the moment with you than potentially hurting you.

And you knew he still did care about that, he always would; he was Jungkook, after all. But time and time again you had pleaded with him to stop handling you like you would break under the slightest amount of pressure. This was the first time he did without hesitation or working himself up to it.

And you fucking loved it.

In fact, it was overwhelming enough to the point where you knew you weren’t going to last long at all with the way he was drilling into you. All the emotions the two of you had endured tonight mixed with the passionate entanglement you found yourself wrapped up in now, it was no surprise that you were hurtling toward your undoing at a very fast pace.

“Koo, baby, oh my God-” you finally found your voice again, running your nails down his back, hard enough that if he hadn’t been still wearing his shirt, you’re sure it would have left scratch marks.

“Fuck, angel, can feel you around me, always so good for me,” his tongue darted out past his lips before he captured your bottom one between his teeth and tugged on it gently. “Always my good girl.”

His words made you spasm around him, and he moaned loudly at the feeling, eyes fluttering shut. His damp hair was falling into his face so you brushed it back, gasping at the sight of him.

You’d seen Jungkook like this many times before, but this time? This time was different.

A few curls were still framing his face but he had his head tilted back and his lips parted as the most amazing sounds escaped from them. His brows were furrowed and he looked almost pained, but in a completely different way than he had earlier that night.

Your heart ached at the memory, but you didn’t have long to think about it before he pulled you more flush against his chest, now opting to grab your ass with both hands so he could move you up and down his cock with his strength alone.

“Holy shit,” he breathed out, “I love you so much, angel, just wanna stay with you like this forever.” He was speeding up again and with the new angle, your body felt like it was on fire. You couldn’t even make a noise as the stimulation kept hitting you in wave after wave.

“You said earlier,” Jungkook continued, a little breathless now but never letting up on his powerful thrusts, “that I was ­– fuck – that I was your person.”

You nodded, still not really able to say anything or make any sound because your orgasm was approaching fast and you didn’t want it to happen so soon. Not until you knew he was there with you.

“Did you mean it,” he asked, hooded eyes trying to search yours. You kissed him with all the strength you could muster, swallowing down his moans as your walls clenched around him.

“Of course I did. I meant everything I said earlier.” A high-pitched moan tore itself from your throat when his hips snapped into you harder at your words.

“Fuck, it always does something to me when you say things like that,” he was losing his composure now, you could tell it by the way he sounded.

His admission made you chuckle fondly. “You know, you said something similar the first time we were together.”

Jungkook opened his eyes to stare at you and grinned at the memory. “Yeah, I did. Meant it then and I mean it now too.”

“I’m glad I still have that kind of effect on you,” you responded, breaking off to moan loudly at a harsher thrust. Jungkook’s grip on you tightened, and he increased his pace, finally pulling you over the edge.

“You do, holy shit, you really do. I hope I can say the same- fuck,” Jungkook knew you were close with the way your walls kept spasming around him every few seconds. “Gonna cum for me, baby?”

You nodded and whined, holding onto his shirt for dear life while he rocked you through the first stages of your euphoric bliss. He was panting right by your ear now, the sounds making your eyes roll back.

“Go on, cum for me then. Fucking love when you cum all over my cock,” Jungkook’s filthy words had you moaning out his name. “My beautiful angel,” he continued, pulling down the collar of your shirt slightly so he could place a kiss on your collarbone. “Always so pretty for me.”

“Fuck, I’m close, Koo, want you there with me,” you opened your eyes in time to see him pulling his lip between his teeth.

“I’m right there, baby, let go for me,” he reached in between the two of you and barely brushed your clit before your sudden orgasm made you clench so hard around him that he had to throw his head back and let out a guttural moan.

“Angel, fuuuuck, I’m right there, I’m-” you crashed your lips against his and swallowed down every loud noise he made, feeling his lips tremble against yours as his hips stuttered when he filled you up with his release.

He broke apart from you with a gasp, leaning his head back and letting out a strained “holy fuck” before he looked at you again. He slowed down now, thrusting a few more times before he stilled completely, breathing hard.

He moved you away from the wall, and you thought he might put you down but instead he tightened your legs more securely around him and walked the two of you over to the nearest bathroom to shower, his lips never leaving yours the whole way there.

Thank fuck Jungkook had such great muscle memory and knew where he was going because you definitely couldn’t have pulled that off.

He stayed inside you until he was able to put you in the shower, helping you discard the rest of your clothes before he did the same and joined you. It was your usual ritual and preferred form of aftercare since the water from the shower soothed any sore muscles and it helped you get clean in the process. Not to mention it was another way for you to be close to Jungkook, him only reiterating that truth now and he pulled your back against his chest so he could massage shampoo into your hair.

“Love you,” he whispered softly, placing a kiss on your temple since you leaned your head back at the feeling of his touch. He treated you so delicately now, the complete opposite of how he was just fucking you up against the wall. You loved moments like this just as much, always receptive to everything Jungkook did, every touch that flittered across your skin.

“I love you,” was your response as you turned around to wrap your arms around his neck and pulled him into a chaste kiss. He smiled into it, his fingertips brushing against the skin right above your waist.

After your shower, Jungkook carried you upstairs, ignoring your attempts at getting him to put you down because as you told him repeatedly your legs worked just fine and you could walk by yourself. His response?

“Don’t care, still wanna carry you.”

All you could do then was huff, pulling a laugh from the man you loved so much, the sound always beautiful and able to make your heart skip a beat.

When you were both snuggled into bed, you found it hard to sleep. There were still things you two needed to discuss, but you didn’t have the energy – and not really the want – right now to bring them up.

However, Jungkook did.

“Hey,” he was running his hand through your hair as you were laying your head on his shoulder. You hummed in response.

“I’m sorry,” he started, and before you could interrupt he quickly went on. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you, but I’m also sorry about how I acted earlier.”

“Koo, it’s fine-”

“Please don’t,” his eyes were pleading and you let him continue.

“It’s not fine, it’s- I get in my head sometimes and it can be hard to come back from that. You’re always able to bring me back, but tonight…fuck, it was bad.” There was a frown on his face now and you tried to make it disappear by placing a kiss on his cheek.

“I kept thinking about how maybe I’m not the best for you-”

You couldn’t help interrupting this time. “Jungkook, you are the best for me.”

“We don’t know that though-”

“I don’t have to, because I know in my heart that you’ll do whatever it takes to make sure we have the best life together, the same as I’ll do for you.” You brushed a curl out of his face before you continued, “Only for you.”

He cracked a smile. “That’s my line.”

You shrugged, giggling when Jungkook began trying to poke your sides. “Regardless though, I don’t want you feeling that way. You’re enough, Jungkook, you’re more than enough.”

His smile widened. “Really?”

“Really.” You thought about it for a second. “What can I do to convince you?”

He raised an eyebrow, eyes full of mischief. “Well, I can think of a way…” he said in a suggestive tone, making you roll your eyes before you turned away from him. His laughter fell on your ears and you couldn’t help the smile that broke out on your face.

“Hey, c’mon, you know I’m just kidding,” he turned you to face him again, running his hand up and down your side now.

“No you’re not,” you snorted.

He pretended to think about it for a moment. “Ok, you’re right- but­ I know you’re too tired so I’m half kidding? Sorta?”

It was your turn to laugh then, huddling closer to him as you wrapped your arms around his neck and placed a kiss on his throat.

His hands found their way into your hair again, and he continued to run them through the strands long enough that you almost fell asleep until he spoke up again.

“We need to do something about him, though.”

The way he said ‘him’ let you know exactly who he was talking about.

You nodded, sliding your head up to lay in the crook of his neck. “We will. But that’s a problem for another day. Right now,” you yawned, “we need sleep.”

He chuckled and kissed the top of your head. “Get some sleep, angel. I’ll stay up a little bit to make sure you’re ok. Jin said it was a good idea for tonight, anyway.”

You were already nuzzling deeper into his embrace, barely registering his words. “Mm-hmm,” came your sluggish response. “Goodnight, Koo.”

“Night, baby,” was his last response you heard before slumber took over, the feeling of his strong arms around you more comforting than anything else you’d ever known.

Jungkook stayed awake for a few hours, listening to your soft snoring and observing you as you slept peacefully. There was a gentle ache tugging at his heart as he remembered everything that you’d been through that night, but when you unconsciously snuggled closer, he felt the ache dissipate.

He made a promise to himself that whatever happened in the future, he would be there for you. He would keep you as safe as he could, and love you with everything he had.

After all, you were his person, just as he was yours, and he hoped that’s how it would stay.

[chemicalpink]

Young Gods ❈ KNJ, JJK

❈ Pairing: Namjoon x Reader x Jungkook

❈ Genre: smut, f2l kinda, but also s2l, fantasy!au, fluff if you squint, gods!au, wizard/witch!au

➛ Part of the Namkook Moonrise Masquerade hosted by @jamaisjoons

❈ Rating: 18+

❈ Wordcount: 4.2k

❈ Warnings: it is jungkook centric, it does have a somewhat heavy plot, double penetrative sex, magical sex, teasing, slightest corruption kink.

❈ Summary: Legend has it that if you were to walk all the way up to Hallasan, and if the land is welcoming enough, you should be able to see the most beautiful lake where it is rumoured to home the most powerful being the world has ever had the pleasure to meet, so when young warlock Jungkook starts having trouble with his magic, who could blame him for travelling all the way there in hopes of finding answers only to be met with the hottest man he’s ever seen. and really,  who could blame him for fostering the biggest crush on him without saying a word for ages? that is, until y/n, a long lost friend of Namjoon shows up. so really, who is he to blame if he lets the two greatest beings in existence use him for their pleasure?

❈A/N: SHE'S HERE. GOD THIS TOOK A WHILE. Please enjoy! ALSO, banner by @jamaisjoons, I do believe the only thing that keep me writing this was the banner lol. Do tell your thoughts on this bad baby, I was heading towards a larger fic but I didn't have time yet magical au is most definitely there for future fics.

The first time Jungkook realised just how powerful he was, he was fifteen years old, although his mother can recall him being around four and being able to master a potion that most common-born non-royal witches could only hope to get mediocre at once trained at their young twenties. Of course, his magic had soon become taboo around the village, having to hide himself behind years of his father’s training, his lineage a bit closer to royalty, not quite, but just enough for his son’s magic to pass as his own. If his customers notice how better his spell jars or potions get once Jungkook turns eighteen, they sure don’t comment on it. Not that they would be able to tell that the family was hiding a master of the magical arts that could rival the country’s most powerful witch in the blink of an eye. Those were just rumours going around, as far as the Jeon’s were concerned.

“Son, I believe it is about time you get some proper practice on your magic” his father mentioned bypassing one Sunday night as they both locked up the store. He turned to hi, somewhat confused.

“Look if this is about Seojun noona’s elixir being more powerful than it usually is I swear it was a rightful mixture, my trial was right beside her actual one and she entered the shop sooner and-”

His dad shakes a hand dismissively at him, rounding the counter into the small storage room, coming back in sight with a leather-bound book in between his hands, calloused fingers roaming the antique-looking pages “I am not quite sure how much truth an old man like your grandfather could hold, but it wouldn’t hurt to try” he turned the yellowing book towards him, fast and almost undescribable scribbles decorating the paper as he squinted down at it, his father handling the energy in it to make the content quite literally come to life, a storytelling spell all too familiar to him from his young age.

“Dad, you know I absolutely love bedtime stories, but I’d say I’m quite a bit too old now for-” before he can even think about finishing the sentence, a mountain comes into view, alive straight from the book’s pages, standing tall and proud dressed in green, almost touching the sky, a magical aura surrounding it, one that he could even feel just by looking at it “What’s that?”

“The old man used to tell me stories about an ancient being, the most powerful of them all, living on top of Hallasan” the pages turn by themselves, the image changing to a faceless man, standing almost as tall and proud as the mountain itself, performing all types of magic, some of them Jungkook himself hadn’t even heard of “Legend says he was outcasted by royalty in fear of revolution, wouldn’t even be alive if it weren’t for he is a child of Earth herself”

“I-I don’t think I’m following”

His father sighs loudly before his magic shuts the book closed, all magic gone on a whim “Jungkook, whatever this man was, if my father was right and he really did exist, you might be like him”

“But-but I was born of both you and mum” he couldn’t quite yet fathom the extension of his own magic, much less think about the probability of being more powerful than any other being that had walked the Earth in millennia. Even if the man was real, would he even be alive still? If he was as powerful as he was presumed to be, would he even take Jungkook under his wing? What if he wasn’t as lucky as the man from the book and word got out and his life was endangered?

“Jungkook just think about it, you might be a child of the Earth”

“What if I don’t want to be” he couldn’t quite face his father, feeling his own heartbreak as the older man deflated. Jungkook knew that perhaps his dad had entertained the idea of his only son being a creature out of a legendary book, could feel how proud it would make him, for Jungkook to be a hero, make history with the power he presumably held within, yet he couldn’t help but feel like a small child again, afraid at the uncertainty that the future could hold. “I- I’m good with just running the shop and helping you and mother out with stuff”

His father sighed before placing a gentle hand on his shoulders, a small act that made him feel even more like a child, one getting subtly scolded by his parents as they prepare him for his inevitable future. “Jungkook-ah, your mother and I- all we really want for you is to live your own life”

His ears perk up, gaze facing forward as he catches his mother standing with her arms crossed over her body, the softest motherly look on her face “And if that means for my baby to go find himself at some faraway place, then so be it” she comes to join his father by his side, both of them bracing each other as the thought of their child growing up simmers down on them. “We just want you to grow up to your full potential Kookie”

.-.-

It had taken quite some convincing for him to completely make up his mind, the negging looks from his father as he helped around the shop, the longing yet scolding gaze his mother held over dinner until he found himself preparing a small bag for the long trip– almost burning inside his mind the map contained in his grandfather’s grimoire from the many times he had read over what he once thought to be a legend out of a children’s storybook.

The trip itself wasn’t as difficult as it was troublesome, having to hike up the highest mountain in the land, the difficult part–if the Jeon’s memories were anything to go by– was having the Hallassan land spirit to like you enough to show itself, even a step further to have the legendary witch to show his home.

For quite some time Jungkook entertained the idea of the immense possibilities on how the wizard could look, every possible image popping up in his head some variation of a wrinkly old man hunched over himself, staff in hand and he couldn’t help but laugh soundly at it, picturing himself getting nagged at by such a figure, perhaps he would end up looking like one of those old scholars that came to his village from time to time. But how wrong was he.

It took him three days, two cold sleepless nights in the woods and running in circles for at least two hours in the nothingness that was the top of the mountain for the valley to show up right where he had started to venture– he could almost hear the forest spirits snickering at him. He really tried to be angry at it, almost went back down just out of spite, yet the clearing before him had him doing a double-take, the space was bright and clear, none of the trees from before on sight, the small dipping in the middle of it leading to a sort of entrance– this was what he came for.

Jungkook had been raised better than what he found himself doing– walking into a stranger’s house uninvited. Was it really uninvited if after knocking for a few minutes the door opened on its own?

He walks inside, small steps, unsure of himself, his past resolve crumbling down completely as he walks further in where he listens to a hushed voice coming from his left, a mop of silvery hair turned away from him, green warm clothes cradling the figure, Jungkook entertains the idea of an old man still, yet not so much hunched over himself if the deep hushed voice and the hair colour was anything to go by. “...Now where did I last see-”

"Hello-"

"Oh! great timing! the pay is where it always is" broad shoulders are still facing him as the man moved around, a couple of won bills on the counter where he had waved his hand dismissively, not even bothering to turn around, for a legendary creature perhaps leaving his home door open was a recurrent thing, what with the whole clearing hidden from the public eye and all.

"Oh I'm not-" he had tried to make himself knows as definitely not the person he was expecting yet the man kept mumbling to himself, apparently in deep thought at whatever it was

""—So then if we are able to move this around we should -" he had started moving around the room, still not facing Jungkook directly, just pointing to places around the spacious room as his free hand busied itself with picking books from the humongous shelf against the wall

"I'm- uh" his hands couldn’t be still, grasping at the bag over his shoulder, knuckles almost white as he clears his throat "I'm not-"

"Did you forget where-" the man turns around and Jungkook feels whatever little poise he had gained leave him in the spot, right in front of him is the most legendary creature in existence, recorded alive for millennia, a god in more ways than one, no old man in sight but the prettiest human he had laid eyes on, fierce sight set on him awkwardly hanging at the entrance as the man keeps blinking at him "uh"

He bows down almost instinctively, 90 degrees, hair falling onto his eyes as he does so "Mister sir- uh keeper of Hallasan"

"You aren't Soobin"

"Uh.. no I'm not"

The man doesn’t even flinch at the information of a stranger setting a foot inside his house, deep voice calm as ever as he asks "How did you even get in?"

"Uh the door was open" he points to the door in a futile attempt for it to not make it seem like he was the weirdo picking locks or something at a magical creature’s home

"No it wasn't" he moves to the door in the most graciously way he has ever seen someone do it, almost gliding across the floor, eyes never leave him except for the brief second where his hand tries the doorknob "huh it was. Weird"

It took the man less than a minute after his initial shock to turn to Jungkook and invite him in, a pair of teacups resting against the table as they seated parallel to each other, him crossing his legs in a nonchalant manner as Jungkook couldn’t stop fidgeting in his seat– he certainly never thought he could come this far.

“So what can I do for you, Jeon Jungkook?” if he absolutely preened at the way that his name sounded in the stranger’s mouth, that was certainly something only for him to know.

The words died right on his tongue. There were certainly a lot of things the beautiful man seating across from him could do, none of them necessarily involving what he had initially come for, yet as the words take meaning inside his mind, he seems to short circuit yet again “I uh- you know- you know my name?”

He smiles a big smile, eyes crinkling into crescents, dimples showing and a heat simmering inside Jungkook’s belly “I know a lot of things, Jungkook” he stares off into space “Social skills are rusty, but they come back after getting a good look at you” Jungkook’s eyes must widen at the implication of his words. Could he read minds? Could he take a look into souls? “Just general stuff about you, don’t worry about it”

The man could definitely read minds.

Blink if you’re hearing this. The man blinks and Jungkook feels like fleeing. Wait. Everyone blinks, stupid. Perhaps some other time.

He somehow finds his voice, remembering the lingering question, the sole reason for him to be there “Mister Hallasan keeper, sir”

“Namjoon is fine”

“Mister Namjoon-ssi”

“Namjoon hyung”

Jungkook is sure this time his brain shortcircuits for real, for this complete stranger. Namjoon he corrects himself, to give him permission to call him so affectionately after only a few minutes of knowing him. After technically breaking- not breaking into his home.

Smile if you’re reading my mind. Namjoon smiles, something doesn’t sit right with him, he could very well be reading his mind, or simply smiling out of politeness at the extended silence Jungkook had caused, again. I’m onto you Mister Hallasan Keeper. Namjoon just smiles more fondly at him.

Jungkook goes on explaining his situation, from his rapid magic learning to being unable to wield his magic, to his father even suggesting that he could have been born from the Earth herself, just like Namjoon did all those millennia ago. The blond man restricts himself to listen to Jungkook speak, gaining a serious pose when he drops the reason for his visit, asking him for help. Jungkook’s almost sure he will deny it as he goes on to explain how his last magical apprentice had been there almost sixty years ago, going on about how he is pretty much a loner, no reason more than a brief excuse of being an outcast for practice differences with the village where Jungkook comes from, giving it a few seconds of thought before he accepts to have Jungkook under his wing, going as far as to give him a spare bedroom to sleep in along with the longest set of rules he had ever heard of.

Months with Namjoon look something more or less like this: waking up at 6 am sharp– something Jungkook had never done in his life, the first few times he had woken up later than that, it was almost impossible to know where his teacher had gone to. Have a rundown on the day’s activities and breakfast until 7. Jungkook was in charge of gardening on the 30-minute window of Namjoon harvesting for the spells he was due to make for the day. An hour of light reading– he knew better than to comment on how a thousand pages book was most definitely not light reading, but he did it anyway. He would then shadow Namjoon on whatever mystical task he had to do for the day before finishing up with him running basic high-level training with Namjoon’s guidance in the clearing– Namjoon had said that the Hallasan spirit would keep him safe and sound if he were to screw up, although so far all the spirit and her friends in the forest had done was laugh at his mistakes.

Five months in it, the whole routine came as second nature, he couldn’t even picture a day without Namjoon on it, not that there was anyone else that could pick up on the energy shift within it, Jungkook had learnt a lot from his teacher, not only in the magic department but about him as a person, couldn’t hide the lingering eyes, the curious touches of skin, every bit of information about Namjoon expanding that fondness feeling inside his heart, Namjoon was a man of habit, a powerful one at that, yet all those millennia living couldn’t hide the fact that Jungkook could see right through him, a lonely soul, as powerful as none other, yet so inherently say. Not even the whole power in the universe could keep him away from his own greatest danger: himself.

If you can read minds, kiss me. The kiss never came so perhaps Namjoon could never even read minds in the first place.

Now here’s the thing, Jungkook might be a mess when it comes to magic, but not so much at hiding his feelings, at least the best he could, Namjoon was as intelligent as men come and he had yet to notice. Namjoon’s friend that just happens to show up on a particularly lazy day– his teacher had said his magic tends to run out from time to time and would rather rest it; perhaps not so much.

Jeon Jungkook is a weak man. A weak man for beautiful things, like Namjoon, or you. Who just happened to walk inside Namjoon’s home like you owned the place– could he count it as his home too yet?

He could feel his heart wanting to leap out of him as soon as you introduced yourself, and perhaps he was imagining the way your eyes grazed over his figure before going to tease Namjoon, not that he stopped having heart eyes for the man when you walked in, he had enough heart eyes for the both of you, even if he had to keep them to himself. You were easier to warm up to than Namjoon if it was anything to go by, smoothly falling into conversation after you three had sat down for tea, walking up to Namjoon’s massive library, picking out books from their shelves as you asked him about his upbringings.

“The Jeon family? Oh, dearest, your grandfather was as good as wizards come” his brain cuts short as soon as the words leave your mouth, just how exactly could you have known the old man? The old wizard was presumably thrown out of the royal house for being unfit for ruling over the land. You playfully push your elbow against Namjoon “And I say this while knowing Joonie”

The blond man groans at your teasing.

“You-you knew my grandpa?”

“Yeh, such a shame he decided to be a mortal” Your initial interest seems to diminish as you turn to face the books yet again, a particular red cover catching your attention.

“What”

Jungkook faintly hears Namjoon standing up from his chair to try and get in between his conversation with you, although all he hears seems to come as if the voices were kept under cotton inside his ears “Y/N you’re overwhelming the kid”

For such a calm and collected posture, he had maintained not only while learning with Namjoon but back at home too, hearing such a word coming out of him really tips the glass “I’m not a kid! Why is everyone always treating me like a child!” surely it did seem rather childish to have an outburst like that, yet his mind couldn’t help but reel in all those other times in his stay where Namjoon had dismissed him from helping, saying it was a rather complicated spell you should wait this one out Jungkook. Or something along the lines of when you get stronger. It did seem the type of things one would say to their petulant child.

“Jungkook waits” Namjoon groans as he retreats to his assigned room, you can’t help the softness inside you at the way that strong independent loner Namjoon reacts to his apprentice being pissed off, certainly a first.

“You pissed off the kid” your remark isn’t that much well digested as Namjoon throws a dagger-like glare your way, groaning as he throws his head back against the couch

“Why am I parenting again?”

You shrug your shoulders as you offer him a tight lip smile, you had heard a lot about Jungkook even before you had walked inside the wizard’s home, like a reader of a slow-burning love story, you knew that ‘parenting’ was most definitely not the dynamic in his relationship with the younger, not with the way Namjoon had described the little mannerisms of his apprentice, or the way that he described his figure as the strongest back I’ve ever seen with such a tiny waist when he sent you a letter asking you to visit him.

The thing with the dynamic you had with Namjoon had been one going on for hundreds of years, feeding off of the magic that only such powerful creatures like you and him could conjure, effective yet dependent as when either of you two was in dire need of a boost, you would have to pay him a visit to work your magic. Jungkook hadn’t appeared after his little outburst, probably hidden in his room, taking only a few minutes of Namjoon glancing expectantly at the place where the younger had disappeared before you dragged him towards his room in an all too practised manner.

The whole environment was always on the calm side whenever you two get to it, something along the lines of strictly business, yet an undeniable connection between the two. Namjoon had you against his door, a dimly lit lamp on his desk, strong hands holding you in place at your waist as he leaned down to connect both of your mouths, eyes fluttering shut as he did so. Your hands found themselves tangled in his blond tousled hair in no time as he deepened the kiss, moving the both of you towards the bed as magic started glowing dimly within you two, connecting and feeding off of the spark of the situation, magic so profound and delicate that only immortal beings could hope to master. Namjoon placed himself against his elbows as you straddled his hips, your figure teasingly humping his growing bulge inside his pants as his breath started to become ragged, his own magic reaching forward to yours, just the way his lips chased yours. Yet there was only so much ominous Namjoon could handle. His hands were quick to undress both of you in between hot caresses and messy kisses as both of your bodies seem to move on their own accord, the magic itself doing the most out of the tantric experience, moans slowly but surely filling up the room as Namjoon positioned the tip of his hard cock on your entrance, teasing your folds for a few seconds before you settled on top of him in a familiar manner, sinking down on him as he throws his head back, letting out a groan. You are almost sure Jungkook could hear you both, yet your mind so clouded you wouldn’t have given it a second thought with Namjoon’s cock filling you up so nicely as you moved up and down on his length, that is until out of the corner of your eye you catch the casted shadow outside the dimly lit room.

"Your puppy is outside," You say as you stop moving on him, not quite removing yourself from the situation, yet you feel the magic in the room flickering faintly as if going dormant.

"What" Namjoon’s eyes are surprised as he lets reality sink in, his magic safely sated from the small act

"The kid that has an obvious crush on both you and me?” you state matter of factly as Namjoon’s jaw goes slack “He's watching us from behind the door"

As if on cue, there’s a rustling behind the door, feet rapidly resounding against the floor "No I'm not!"

Namjoon sighs loudly "JK just come in, I know this might seem.." the door opens and you could swear Jungkook’s eyes are about to leave his skull at the image he’s present with "weird"

"incredibly hot," they say at the same time, rendering both of them speechless

"huh kid's horny" you start removing yourself from Namjoon’s cock as your magic starts tingling, now reaching out for the younger "i like it"

"Y/N please"

You gesture by raising your hands as if surrendering, yet you know just how the night had taken a turn, willing to satiate your magic’s needs “He doesn’t like your PG training, let me handle this”

Jungkook is still sporting his Bambi eyes as he feels himself pulled into the room, closing the door softly behind him as he can only stare at you as you make your way towards him, lips ghosting over his “So tell me Jungkookie” your hand trails down to bring him closer to your naked body, taking his hand in yours and guiding it to your ass “Just how much are you willing to render of yourself for me and Joon?”

“All of me”

Jeon Jungkook might as well had been an erotic wizard like yourself if by the way he manhandles you and surrenders you to Namjoon like a loyal apprentice would to his master was anything to go by. Namjoon’s stare alone has the young man pliant as he caresses tan skin under his fingers, achingly curious as the youngest takes turns to kiss the eldest and yourself, Namjoon’s fingers playing with his nipples, your own hands working his length to life after your magic had completely undressed him, feeling both your and Namjoon’s magic reaching for Jungkook’s in a way you didn’t know was possible. A few kisses and lingering touches in, minds clouded with lust, kissing noises and moans taking over the space, Jungkook takes no time in positioning you on top of him, back to his chest as his length stretches you deliciously, long fingers playing with your clit as his own legs separate your thighs as if offering you up to his master, Namjoon looking like a man starved as he positions himself against Jungkook’s cock, his tip meeting no resistance as he glides in and nestles next to Jungkook, stretching you like no other time you could fathom, groans and ragged breaths of the men under and above you working you to your own climax, babbled words coming out of the youngest’s lips along with a promise of becoming yet another young god under your spell.

[retrievablememories]

off the deep end | doyoung, xiaojun (m)

title: off the deep end pairing: doyoung x black mermaid oc x xiaojun side characters: gongmyung, seulgi, joy, haechan (mentioned), kun (mentioned), yuta (mentioned) genre: mermaid au, romance, smut, hurt/comfort, angst, fantasy, 1990s au request: Your magical ass writing with Doyoung was AMAZING btw! I wanted to request one with a Black female OC as a mermaid with Doyoung as the love interest 🧐 I think Xiao Jun would be a good side character somehow too. I'd love to see where you take this idea and I'm really down for angst, fluff, smut, anything really 😌 word count: 16.5k warnings: grief/mourning as a running theme, mentions of death and murder, some gore and blood (eating human parts), some emotional manipulation, gaslighting?, some stigma around therapy/ableism, poly relationship (with m/m), xiaojun’s a total simp, threesome (mmf), outdoor sex, oral sex (female receiving), handjobs, fingering, unprotected sex a/n: i gave xiaojun a bigger role than initially intended because there was too much plot potential to not feature him more prominently...also i wasn’t quite sure what to do with him as a side character lol. i have gotten several inquiries in the past about writing fic for xiaojun, so here’s my offering until i write him a solo fic

note that there’s not a ton of emphasis on the 1990s setting, i just set it a couple decades back because i didn’t want social media/smartphones to be a thing 💁🏿‍♀️

one. autumn, 1994

“I hate this place,” Doyoung says to no one. 

Maybe he says it to the sea, to the seagulls hopping across the sand nearby, or to the wind itself. But not to anyone who is really listening. He tries to tuck his legs closer to his body to block out the cold wind, but his foot slips on the damp rock and goes splashing into the tide pool he’s sitting just above. He sighs and shakes his head, closing his eyes for a long moment.

It’s one simple, silly thing in the greater calamity of his life—a wet shoe. Something that can be easily fixed. But on top of everything else, it’s enough to have fresh tears gathering in his eyes for the hundredth time. He wipes them away with the sleeve of his sweater, though this is futile. They come tumbling out anyway, and he just tries to keep them somewhat concealed, hoping the rushing waves are enough to disguise the sound of his sobs to any living soul who might be nearby.

He doesn’t know why Haechan liked the beach so much. With autumn officially nearing, the beach is cold and wet and ugly, with its jagged dark rocks and colorless sand. He has never been much fond of living in a seaside city, always surrounded by water in some way or another, but this was his cousin’s favorite thing about it. Being at the beach now is just his desperate attempt to take comfort in something the younger man loved, if only to feel a little more connected to him.

It’s not doing a good job of providing any sort of consolation. Doyoung doesn’t know what else to do, though. He isn’t yet ready to go back home and be faced with all the grief there, the family members and friends dropping by everyday, the pitying looks and the uselessly placating words. So he stays right where he is, huddled on his sad dank rock with his hair blowing into his eyes and his face stinging from the chill of his fallen tears.

September has only just begun, and the weather has already turned so unexpectedly cold at night. He has a bitter thought that it fits his mood well. Fits the entire world—his world.

The air gets gradually chillier as the hour passes by, but Doyoung doesn’t make any move to leave. He flexes his fingers inside his sleeves and wiggles his toes inside his shoes, blinking his eyes quickly to keep himself from drifting off to sleep.

A sudden flurry of splashing catches his ears, and it awakens his foggy mind. It’s not the kind of noise that naturally comes from the wave’s motions; it’s more distinct, more abrupt. Like the sound of something sloshing around in the water.

Doyoung turns his head to the direction of the waves, searching for the spot where the sound originated from. He’d been staring at nothing but the tide pools for so long until now, but he sees nothing out in the ocean. Just water and more water, and the gray-violet-pink sky above as the sun descends into the horizon. He watches unblinkingly until his eyes grow dry and he has to close them.

Opening them reveals the sight of a green tail fin disappearing into the water—just the edges of it, almost too quick to catch, but it was undoubtedly there.

He doesn’t know what to make of that.

It was too big to belong to any regular fish. Maybe if he suspends disbelief, he can make himself believe it was a shark, but the coloring and scales aren’t consistent with any sharks he knows of.

Alleged mermaid sightings have existed for decades in this city, but they are not frequent enough to make them just that much more believable. Always the edge of a fin or a mop of hair or maybe even an arm in the water, but rarely any reported sightings of an entire mermaid. Any of those things could be any random person playing dress-up for their own entertainment, which has in fact happened before.

Still, many people believe the mermaids are real and live hidden in the waters. Their logic follows the idea that the sea maidens make themselves sparse, only seen by those they want to be perceived by. And they are not to be underestimated; their abilities for enshrouding themselves in mystery are supposedly unrivaled by even the sneakiest con man in the city.

Now is probably not the best timing for a mermaid sighting of his own, though he barely believes in their existence to begin with. Doyoung is not interested. He doesn’t know what she might do to him, if she’ll try to talk to him, or if she’s simply playing a game, which he is also not in the mood for. And with his sore lack of knowledge about the mermaid legends, he is nothing but apprehensive. He keeps his eyes on that spot until it seems certain he won’t see that glittering green tail fin a second time, and finally gets up from his rock.

He walks back home in silence, hands tucked into his hoodie for what warmth he can get, his mind refocusing on other things. Like the fresh grief settling inside his body as yet another scar.

two. annihilation

Doyoung goes inside himself where it is quiet and safer than the outside. Not much safer, with the thoughts of death and feelings of fear that continually plague him, but it’s better than the prying questions and endless platitudes.

For days on end, he doesn’t say much to anyone other than what’s absolutely necessary—or on the occasion when he feels well enough to say more. His family is visibly bothered by it. His parents keep trying to drag more conversation out of him, if only to make things feel more “normal” around the house; his brother doesn’t even attempt it. The feeling is still too raw for the both of them. Gongmyung leaves Doyoung to his own devices when the younger man becomes silent and aloof, unwilling to pressure him for verbal answers.

Doyoung has a few fleeting thoughts about therapy, is subsequently embarrassed by it, and doesn’t think about it again for the next few days. This cycle repeats over and over. He doesn’t want to be seen as that person in the family who’s “gone insane,” and he doesn't want to entertain the idea of anyone close to him knowing he’d been to therapy.

They’d surely think differently of him, seeing him as more of a ticking timebomb than a human; and though he prefers to think otherwise, maybe even his brother would too. He decides to shove all his feelings down instead—pack them away in a suitcase he’ll leave somewhere under his bed.

The thoughts and feelings he can’t manage to repress, he unravels in his room. On the rooftop of their house. On the beach. Anywhere he can get a moment of privacy, he collapses into himself and lets the emotions overtake him. It feels the opposite of “freeing,” but it’s the only other solution on days where he feels like he’ll burst at the seams if he doesn’t do something.

In the first few days after the accident, Doyoung decided to take a break from college. He’d already missed half his classes for that week; what would be the point in going back to that campus? He doesn’t really know when he’ll be back, but he doesn’t want the obligations of exams and schoolwork and projects weighing him down when he already feels like he’s sinking.

He only hopes it’s the right decision. Without the busyness of school, he does not have much left to distract himself with. The chaos of his own head is just a little too deafening sometimes.

three. as the sun rises

This nautical gift shop is one of the most frequented spots near the beach—meaning there will be little to no privacy. There will be too many people around, too many eyes staring at Doyoung even if they really aren’t, and too many interruptions.

Because of this, he goes during the early morning hours instead, when the stores have just opened up and there won’t be many people around other than the employees. He hasn’t talked to Xiaojun in a few weeks since the incident—and the immediate aftermath of it, including the rotating door of condolences and the funeral. He figures the younger man must assume he’s dropped off the face of the Earth. However, Xiaojun seems to be an accommodating person from the few interactions they’ve had—maybe a little too accommodating for his own good—so maybe he’ll still be open to talk.

The bell above the door rings as Doyoung walks inside. Early sunlight slants through the windows, creating bright patches of warmth on the floor and throughout different areas of the shop. He’s alone for a few moments. There’s no one behind the register, though he can hear someone rustling around in the storerooms in the back. His eyes follow the clean lines of the stripes of sunlight as he stands there awkwardly, wondering if he should just leave or wait for someone to appear.

“Oh, hey hyung.” Doyoung is startled by the sound of Xiaojun’s voice, and he realizes he’d fallen into a bit of a trance. “It’s pretty early for you. Do you not have classes today? I hadn’t seen you at school lately.”

When Doyoung opens his mouth to respond, it feels like trying to breathe through molasses. “My cousin Haechan died recently...I’ve taken some time off from school, so...if you don’t see me around campus, that’s why.” Maybe it’s too much to dump on Xiaojun all at once, but Doyoung’s ability for small talk is drained as of late.

Xiaojun’s face changes from its original friendly disposition to a sad expression, his thick eyebrows creasing with distress. Xiaojun puts a hand on the other man’s shoulder and gives it a squeeze. “I’m really sorry, hyung. You know you can come here and talk to me whenever you want to.”

Xiaojun is a nice guy. Doyoung doesn’t know much about him other than the basic things they’ve shared in small talk with each other, but he thinks maybe he should try to change that. Doyoung tells himself he’s doing this because he wants (needs?) the company, no matter how brief their meeting may be, and not necessarily because he has increasingly become frightened by the fleeting quality of life—of not being able to make connections with people before they’re gone, and of missing too many opportunities.

He doesn't know how to say all of that without sounding like he’s about to have a mental and emotional breakdown in the middle of a beach gift shop, though, so he only nods to Xiaojun’s words. “Thank you.”

Xiaojun’s hand leaving Doyoung’s shoulder makes him feel disproportionately lonely, which only causes him to be more sad and mad at himself. Mad at how grief has turned him into something he barely recognizes, some amorphous shape of a person with a mountain of emotions he has no clue how to reckon with.

“I, uh...well,” Doyoung stammers. He’s not sure what to say now, and he is having an even harder time trying to figure out whether he wants to stay longer or just be alone again. “I should probably leave you alone now. You have to work.”

Xiaojun shakes his head. “It’s still early, it’s fine.” Then he says, “We could go out on the water any time, you know. If you want. My family is pretty close to the people who run the marina, so…discounts.” It’s as if the younger man can read his mind, or at least how his body language betrays his desire to not feel left alone. Abandoned.

Doyoung nods again and hopes that suffices in lieu of an actual smile. Even if he has to spend more time around the water, he can be receptive to it if it means he’ll have some company…although he can’t currently muster up the energy to show his gratitude outwardly. “I’d…like that. But, I don’t think I have your number yet?”

“Oh!” Xiaojun goes to the front counter where the register is sitting and searches around for something, then suddenly holds up what he was looking for—a pen. “I can write it down for you, give me your hand.” Doyoung does, and he watches as the younger man pens his number on the back of his hand in neat little numbers. “Just call me later so I can get your number.”

“I will. Thanks.”

The smile Xiaojun gives him before he leaves is tinged with sympathy. It stays in the back of Doyoung’s mind for the rest of that day. He tries not to think of it as pitying, which would only make him feel worse, and just appreciates the other’s efforts. He strokes his thumb over the numbers on his hand, committing them to memory. 

four. savior

i could tell from the moment i met you that you are the savior that has come to ruin me

Despite not really being optimistic about it, Doyoung continues visiting the beach in a somewhat futile attempt to see if it’ll start comforting him at some point—though it has yet to do so. He can’t help feeling cheated. Isn’t the beach a relaxing, inspiring place for most other people? It’s supposed to be freeing, somewhere to be yourself and release your troubles. And yet, he feels even more anchored to Earth and all of its ugly realities than ever.

Doyoung only goes at night or during the latest hour of the evening when the sun begins setting. Sometimes he walks the length of the beach—or just as far as he can go, though it feels like forever. The beach is too expansive and not worth the entire journey. Whenever he does this, he tries to focus on the wet sand squishing between his toes and empty himself of anything that could possibly hurt him. Other times, he sits on the congregation of rocks and watches the tide pools and the life within them.

He’s doing just that when he sees the fin again. Unlike last time, he sees more of the tail that the fin belongs to as it breaks the surface of the water, the scales shimmering in the dying orange light of the sun—and then he is wholly shocked when a woman’s body follows the rest.

Her hair is a wavy curtain of curlicues around her face and shoulders. Her skin is a mahogany brown, not an article of clothing present, and he is too stunned to think about looking away. Her eyes are full and bottomless, like the blackest fathoms of the deep sea; they hold equal parts curiosity and knowledge. They are hard to look away from. She looks at him like he’s a stranger she’s known all her life, and it’s a contradiction that makes no sense in his mind.

“W...what are you doing h-here?” Doyoung asks breathlessly, the words practically punched from his lungs.

She tilts her head. “I live here. What are you doing here?”

He ignores her question, though he doesn’t really mean to. His mind is still working overtime to understand the fact that a mermaid has appeared in front of him. When she opens her mouth to speak, he is even more taken aback to see that some of her front teeth are sharp. It sets him on edge. “S-so close to the shore? You live here?”

“No. I swam near the shore because I felt like doing so.”

“Then...who are you?”

“I am me. Who are you?”

“You...don’t have a name?”

“It appears you don’t either, since you didn’t answer the question.”

Doyoung looks at her for a few moments, unsure how to proceed with this nonsensical conversation. “Okay—well...I’m Doyoung. But still, you don’t have a name?”

“Do you really believe you’re going to learn a mermaid’s name at first meeting?”

He furrows his brows, already growing irritated though his stomach still rolls with unease. “Why wouldn’t I be able to?”

“No one here has told you anything about how it works?”

“I’ve lived here for years. What the hell do you mean?”

“Then you would already know why I won’t give you my name.”

“Well, I don’t. Stop with the cryptic talk.”

She crosses her arms over one of the rocks to lean against it. Her expression doesn’t change much, but Doyoung feels like she’s peering directly into his bone marrow, and that unsettles him. “You’re a strange man. Most men would be salivating on themselves to see a sea maiden in person.”

“I’m not most men.”

“Clearly. I’m going to assume your dour mood has something to do with the same reason why you’ve been coming here every week looking depressed.”

Doyoung’s eyes slide away from her then. He subconsciously curls into himself, although he doesn’t mean to show his emotions so plainly.

“Am I correct?”

“I doubt you would understand. Either way, I don’t want to talk about it,” Doyoung says decisively, hoping that will be the end of it.

“That’s fine.” She lets go of the rock she’s holding and dips back into the water; when she resurfaces for a moment, her hair is wringing wet again. She swims around the rock for a bit, seemingly forgetting about Doyoung’s existence, and he watches her with his heart beating a bit faster than normal until she comes back up to the surface again. “But you are searching for something.”

“What?”

“That’s why you’re here, yes? You’re looking for solace.”

Doyoung’s heart picks up even more. “I don’t know how you could possibly figure that.”

“The how of it isn’t important. I just know.”

“This is ridiculous,” Doyoung mutters. He tries to get up from his rock a bit too hastily and slips, his feet splashing into the water again and soaking his socks through. The mermaid watches this without a word, waiting to see his reaction. This time, the incident doesn’t shock any tears out of him; he’s too worn out for that. Thankfully so, because he is not keen on crying in front of this strange woman. “Maybe I’ve been taking too many damn sleeping pills.”

“I assure you this is not an illusion.”

“I think I’d be happier if it was.”

“Maybe. But the things that benefit us most aren’t always what will make us happy...at least initially.”

“Nice psychoanalyzing,” Doyoung remarks. Standing up straight, he starts carefully picking his way through the rocks. “Not in the mood for it, though.” He doesn’t look back to see if she’s still there as he walks away, though his heart keeps fluttering like a caged bird, a subtle disquietude filling his veins.

She watches him retreat, his back slumped and hands tucked into his pockets. His hoodie swallows him up in its gray maw. Something about the sight brings out a tinge of sympathy, though there is a sneaking interest alongside it.

five. the myth

“This is kinda…random. But, do you think those mermaid legends are true? Like, do they really exist in this town? Or at all?”

Doyoung picks at his food as he asks his questions; he isn’t very hungry. Retrospectively, he thinks maybe a lunch date was not a great idea with his lack of appetite lately, but he forces himself to eat something as to not concern Xiaojun.

He just needs a reason to be out of the house. And to get some insight on things that Gongmyung won’t understand. If there is anyone more skeptical than Doyoung himself, it’s his brother.

Xiaojun visibly perks up at these questions, though Doyoung is too lost in his own thoughts and emotions to catch this. “Why do you ask that?”

“I don’t know.” Doyoung’s voice is quiet. “I guess I was just thinking about it lately, with going to the beach more often and all. I read up on some of the stories.”

“I guess you could speculate that it’s true,” Xiaojun says carefully. “People say they hear singing out in the middle of the water sometimes. You can’t account for that. The sailors—when you hang out by the docks, they’ll tell you stuff like that.”

Doyoung shrugs. “Some swimmers trying out their vocal cords, probably.”

Xiaojun chuckles. “Likely not that far out at sea.” Then he grows more serious. “The sailors say they’ve seen them. Not fully, but just...the shadows of them, beneath the water.”

“Do you believe the sailors, then? Half of them are known drunkards.”

“I think there are many things in this world that you and I don’t even know about. Things that can’t be explained.” Xiaojun seems perfectly earnest when he says this, which is honestly enough to make Doyoung believe the man is being sincere, even if he still doesn’t know what to make of this whole mermaid thing. “What about you? You must have an opinion on it if you’re asking me.”

“Huh? Oh, I...it seems...really out-there. Stories are...just stories.”

“I’m not surprised you’re doubtful, you’re a bona-fide science major. Evidence over everything,” Xiaojun snickers.

Doyoung finds it somewhat amusing and curious that Xiaojun even noticed that about him. “I guess you’re right about that.”

“Since you said the beach is practically your hangout spot now, have you ever thought about trying to find a mermaid? Y’know, since evidence and all.”

Doyoung isn’t sure how to confess that he already has. He’s seen the mermaid twice more since those first two encounters. Even though he was afraid to go back to the beach for a few days, he eventually ended up walking along its sandy shore again—and spotted her floating farther off in the distance, the sunset framing her figure like some eerie halo. Watching him.

He doesn’t think he wants to share that information, for some reason. It still feels almost too bizarre to be real, and he thinks maybe if he goes to the beach one more time, she won’t be there ever again and he’ll discover none of it was real. Or maybe he’ll realize the grief has been messing with his mind and causing delusions. He might just decide on therapy after all if he’s truly lost his mind; at least everyone won’t be wrong when they call him crazy. He shuts his eyes. “I’m not sure. I don’t know if that’s possible. You almost make it sound easy.”

“I believe it wouldn’t be as difficult as people make it seem,” Xiaojun says cryptically. “We live in a sea town. Hypothetically, there are plenty of places for mermaids to be. Just need to visit the right place at the right time, I’d presume.”

Doyoung stares at him. “Then, have you seen one?”

Xiaojun smiles slightly. His expression seems wistful, regretful maybe, and Doyoung doesn’t quite understand the emotions in it. “No, not yet.”

“Ah…I see.” Doyoung shoves his plate to the side, being pretty much done with it at this point. “Then...one last question, and I won’t bother you with this subject anymore. What do you know about mermaid names?”

“Oh.” Xiaojun chuckles. “They don’t share their given names with anyone, or else…” He trails off here, and Doyoung waits patiently to see what he will say—if there’s any truth to what the mermaid told him. “...well, that one I’m not sure about. Something bad happens, is all I know.”

“This is all much more complex than it needs to be,” Doyoung snorts.

Xiaojun grins. “Complexity adds mystery.” He checks his watch then, and his expression drops by a fraction. “Sorry to cut it short, but it’s about time for me to go back to work.”

“Oh, that’s fine. Time for me to go back to, uh...doing nothing, I guess.” Doyoung tries to make a half-hearted joke about his current lack of direction, but he can’t quite disguise his unease at feeling so lost in the world at the moment.

“Hey, it’ll be okay. Just take your time with coming back to college. It’ll still be there when you get back.” Xiaojun’s lips lift in a small smirk as he pats Doyoung’s shoulder.

“True.” Doyoung says, and gives him a small smile. He watches as the other male leaves, and he wonders if he should go to the beach today. Look for the mermaid, maybe. See if there are possibly others; he’s never seen any but her.

In the end, he ends up wandering through the busier part of the city for a couple hours, his body working on autopilot. He abruptly heads home when he realizes he’s been subconsciously tracing steps back to the places Haechan used to frequent.

six. the pearl

Doyoung dreams a cold, tense dream.

“Why didn’t you do anything?”

“You could’ve saved me.”

“All you had to do was come over.”

“I never would’ve left the house that night...but you refused to come over.”

Haechan’s voice echoes in his head repeatedly, ricocheting around his skull. The words overlap until they’re nearly deafening.

Doyoung clamps his hands over his ears to try to block the words, but they keep seeping through his fingers like a physical thing—something thick, suffocating, and inescapable. Something hot and viscous rolls down the sides of his face, and he pulls his hands away to see blood and tar mixing together on his skin, dripping down his palms and wrists.

He tries to wipe the mess off his hands and face, but it keeps sticking. Every time he passes his hands over his skin, the substance only increases and becomes more tacky. In just another minute it is drowning him alive, clogging up his nose and throat and blocking off his air, making him unable to shout for help.

But there’s no help coming anyway. He’s been abandoned, much like he abandoned Haechan that night, he supposes. In some dark part of his mind, he reasons that maybe he deserves this.

His chest burns from the asphyxiation, so much that it feels like his lungs might explode.

Just when Doyoung thinks he might die, he bursts awake with a scream, shivering and wet and flailing in his bed. He’s instantly confused, feeling around his mattress and finding the entire thing is soaked with water. His clothes, too, are wet all the way through.

It’s like an ocean wave has crashed on top of his bed, though there is no evidence of where the water came from or how it even got in his room. Doyoung sits up in his bed for a few long moments, confused out of his mind and unsure how to even begin to address this mess.

Finally, he shifts his legs out from under the soggy covers and makes an attempt to get out of bed, only for his hand to touch something small and round. Looking around to see what it is, he peels the covers back and spots something on top of the fitted sheet.

Holding it between two fingers, he squints to see it in the dark. It’s a pearl.

Despite the chaos surrounding him and rattling his senses, his chest and mind feel suddenly, blissfully empty of anything. He stares at the pearl in awe, rolling it carefully between his fingers, until the moment is suddenly interrupted by Gongmyung opening the door. Doyoung turns to the door, squinting at the sliver of light that comes pouring into his room from the hallway.

“I just came to—what the hell?!”

--

“Something weird happened.”

Doyoung doesn’t know why he’s telling the mermaid this, but his family already thinks he’s crazy enough for waking them up in the middle of the night screaming, his bed doused in water. Maybe she can give some idea of what the hell is going on, or even advice. At least not a lecture like the one he’s already received.

“I know.”

Doyoung opens his mouth to begin explaining, but then pauses. “You know? No, you don’t.”

“I tried to stop it, but...it didn’t quite work as intended.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“The dream you had. You were suffering, and I felt...sympathetic.” Doyoung stares at her for a long moment. She continues talking when he doesn't say anything. “The pearl, though…it should help with the nightmares.” The pearl, which is presently sitting snug in his pocket, becomes suddenly obvious to him; he can feel the tiny weight of it pressing against his thigh within his jeans.

He holds his hands up. “Stop. Just, stop joking with me. I don’t know what you’re doing right now, and it’s not funny.”

“It’s not a joke, and you know that.”

“You can’t possibly know what I was dreaming about.”

“It was about Haechan.” Doyoung’s throat tightens. He’s never mentioned the younger man’s name in front of her, let alone informed her of his cousin’s former existence. He feels like simultaneously curling inside himself and desperately opening himself up to her to ask more questions.

All of his normal rational thinking is hanging on by a thread frayed thin with grief, and she isn’t making things any more logical for him.

“I’m sorry. I had to give you proof,” she says, noting his sudden reticence. “I just tried to...change the contents of the dream, or wake you up. Think I mixed the spells up, though.”

“Spells?” he scoffs, though it’s a weak sound. “My mattress is still in the backyard drying.” He’s not even sure how he feels right now. Irritated? Disturbed? Confused? All of it all at once? “I think my family must believe I’m cursed or something.”

For a brief moment, he wonders if she might know a way to make sense of this pain. Change it somehow, or reverse it. If you can do all this, can you…could you…? He doesn’t let that thought manifest fully, shoving it to the recesses of his mind and steeling himself against the shame that immediately follows for even entertaining such a concept.

“Just hold the pearl whenever you feel troubled.” Which is all the time lately, Doyoung thinks. “It can help calm your mind. It’s like a panacea.”

“A…what?”

The mermaid smiles slightly. “It’s just something that helps you feel better.”

Doyoung thinks back to the weird but pleasant emptiness he felt after holding the pearl. Once again, he’s forced to accept that this likely isn’t bullshit, though he wants to believe it is for his own sanity. “Well...thanks, I guess. But please don’t try any more weird spells on me without my knowledge.”

“If you wish so, I won’t do it any more.”

“...Thanks.” His gratitude is begrudging. “But you still haven’t explained how you could know what I was...dreaming about.”

The mermaid looks at him as if evaluating him, deciding whether she will tell him or not. “There is no how. Some things are just natural to mermaids.” Then she sighs. “Dream manipulation was never my strong suit, though.”

“That makes no sense. There’s a ‘how’ to everything.”

“Maybe for people like you who need to cling to logic to make sense of everything.” She sighs as if pitying him. “There’s much more to the world than you’ll likely ever realize, Doyoung.”

“Well—” He can’t argue with that, but it displeases him that there is no clear answer for this, no ultimate conclusion he can point to for this situation—or for the current dark chaos of his life.

“Use the pearl,” she reiterates, her voice serious, and starts swimming away from him. The conversation is too abrupt for his taste. He finds himself once again feeling untethered with more questions than he even started with, but he says nothing. Then she glances back. “I hope you’ll have more peaceful nights after this.”

He watches her hair trail in the water until she ducks under and out of sight.

seven. on the water

Doyoung finally decides to take Xiaojun up on his offer to visit the marina.

It’s a day where the sky is clear and the sun is out; the heavens painted in shades of deep, shining blue. Though the weather still has that autumn chill, the sunshine takes the edge off. With Xiaojun off from work all day and Doyoung not having any classes to worry about for a while, it’s the ideal timing for both of them.

When they get down to the marina, they rent out a boat for the day—presumably at way less than it’d cost anyone else, from what Doyoung can guess. He can assume that Xiaojun’s family’s connections at the marina helped; and his good looks definitely didn’t hurt either, judging by the near-starstruck reactions of the older woman at the boat rental shop.

It’s just the two of them on the boat, and Doyoung watches curiously as Xiaojun pulls the docking lines up, starts the engine, and pushes the throttle forward.

“You know how to drive a boat,” Doyoung speaks. It’s more of a statement than a question. He’s a bit surprised by this, thinking instead there’d be someone else on the vessel with them to navigate it. He’s embarrassed about the tiny thrill of fear that runs down his spine, but Xiaojun claims to spend most of his time around the water when he’s not in the shop or at home, so he must know what he’s doing.

“Yep, learned it from my parents. As kids me and my brother spent so much time around the water, they joked we might grow gills once we hit puberty.” Xiaojun’s lips quirk up in a smile at that memory.

“That would be a sight to see.” Doyoung watches as Xiaojun maneuvers the wheel and steers them away from the dock. They cruise past the rest of the boats in the dock and into the open water. At this time of day and in the middle of the week, there are few other boats on the water with them. “I guess you must be pretty close to your parents.”

“Yes! It was always so much fun coming out here with them.”

Doyoung chuckles softly. “Before now, I’d never imagined a life like that. I didn’t grow up around any water.”

“Oh, you’re not from here?”

“Nope...our parents decided to move here just before I started high school. Hyung hadn’t been too happy about leaving his high school friends behind. Because we already had family up here, it just made sense to them, I guess.”

“Was it a shock, then?”

“Yeah. I hated it intensely...I still kind of do,” Doyoung admits, and though there is no reason to, he feels a little bad about hating a thing that Xiaojun loves so much. “I just could never come to understand how Haechan liked it—” For one brief and blissful moment, he actually forgets about everything that’s happened, thinking he will once again have a chance to hear the younger boy asking him to come out to their pool, or to the beach—until the reality of it collides up against his mind. 

Xiaojun gives him a concerned glance. Doyoung shakes his head and forces a neutral expression.

He decides to change the subject before the other man can speak. “How are things going at the college?” Doyoung leans over the edge to look at the water sloshing up around the side of the boat as they speed past. Although he doesn’t love feeling aimless, he isn’t sure if he misses the university itself yet, either. The idea of trying to go back to “normalcy,” of sitting in a classroom, listening to droning lectures, and virtually acting like his life is average again, gives him a strange kind of nervewracking, tightening sensation in his body.

“Same as always, I guess,” Xiaojun responds. “The theatre program has a new seasonal production in the planning stages, though, and I’m pretty excited for it…”

Doyoung listens to Xiaojun dive into a deep explanation of the play, more than willing to let the younger man do most of the talking if it lets himself ease his mind off more difficult things for the moment. Plus, hearing Xiaojun’s obvious passion about the theatre is endearing in its own little way.

Eventually, they get back around to that subject.

“So, did you try to look for a mermaid?” Xiaojun asks, chuckling.

Doyoung’s eyes widen, and he thinks back to the pearl sitting in his nightstand at home. “Eh, no...not yet.” He runs a hand through his hair and wonders if he should just say it, but quickly decides against it. “I, uh, forgot to ask you something last time though. Have you ever read any of those stories about mermaids eating, you know...humans? Let’s say, if they do exist. What do you think about that?”

Xiaojun’s shoulders tense. The movement is too small for Doyoung to catch, especially with the boat’s constant motion. He glances over at Doyoung for maybe a moment longer than he should while driving the boat.

“Hm...I’ve read about some incidents in newspapers when I was young, but most of those have been debunked.”

“Debunked?”

“Yeah, I mean, there are other sea creatures that can eat humans...though they often don’t. A couple freak accidents or shark attack fatalities could easily be passed off as mermaids eating humans if people are opportunistic enough about it.”

“I see.” The mermaid’s sharp grin flashes in Doyoung’s mind, and he isn’t so sure if he believes this, but he doesn’t argue it. “I guess that makes sense.”

“For a STEM major, you really do have a penchant for keeping up with weird mystical theories,” Xiaojun chuckles.

Doyoung flushes. “It’s not like that...nothing wrong with a little curiosity.”

--

By the time they make it back to the marina, the sun is setting.

“It’s a good thing we can still stay out here this late,” Xiaojun remarks, carefully docking the boat and cutting the engine off.

“What do you mean?”

“That recent curfew people have been talking about,” he says. “The government is still deciding whether they should do it or not.”

“Oh, that…” Doyoung had heard about the curfew in passing, but he’d been too consumed with his own issues to really pay any attention to what it was about. “That, uh…”

“The disappearances, remember? New one every month.”

“Oh, right.” Doyoung remembers seeing the first reports of them just a couple years ago. “They’ve mostly been criminals and whatnot? The occasional homeless person too.”

“People that no one will really notice or miss once they’re gone,” Xiaojun murmurs.

“Uh, yeah.” A shiver passes through Doyoung’s body, not wholly due to the wind. “It’s disturbing. I hope they can find who’s doing it soon.”

Xiaojun nods. “Me too.”

Doyoung and Xiaojun get back onto the dock after tying the boat up. Even though Doyoung experienced the most enjoyment he’s had in a while on the boat ride, he’s still glad to have his feet back on land.

“I hope it was fun today,” Xiaojun says, looking at the other man with a small smile. After their dark topic of conversation just minutes earlier, this gesture feels almost like a relief to Doyoung, and he gives a small grin back.

“It was great—thanks for all this. You can always hang out with me and my brother. I know some fun things to do, too...even if it might not seem like it.” They both laugh at that.

“Sure, I’ll do that. Just let me know when,” Xiaojun agrees, patting Doyoung on the back. “Now, let’s go find something to eat.”

eight. the touch of water

“You really like the water.”

The look the mermaid gives Doyoung says she’s not sure if she should humor him or not.

“I mean—okay yeah, I know you’re a mermaid. But...you just. I don’t know.”

“The water is a living thing, just like me or you. There are countless reasons to ‘like’ it. Marvel at it, venerate it.”

“A living thing?”

“Water cleanses you of whatever needs to be cleansed. It knows you, and it feels you.” The mermaid floats on her back in the water with her face pointed to the sky, glancing over at Doyoung occasionally as she speaks. “You should get in instead of always sitting on that rock. Your butt is going to erode it away.”

Doyoung rolls his eyes but decides to let that last comment go. He’s not in the mood for the back and forth...though that’s practically become inevitable whenever they talk to each other. “You always sound like my friend Yuta, talking about his tarot cards and all this pseudo-spiritual bullcrap.”

The mermaid simply looks at him. “I don’t really care if you believe it or not. It’ll still be true either way.” She flips back into the water and swims around a bit, as if showing off how good the water feels. Doyoung knows it’s colder than it appears, though.

“Anyway, I’m not interested in you eating me once I get in.”

She stops her dallying around and swims right up to the rock he’s on, placing her hands on it and stretching up like she’s trying to get as close to him as possible. “Do you believe you are someone worth eating? Do you think I would eat you?”

Someone worth eating? It’s odd to be offended about a statement like that—Doyoung is very much not interested in being eaten alive or whatever it is mermaids might do—but it still prickles him. “I didn't know mermaids had some extra-special criteria for choosing their meals.”

The mermaid narrows her eyes. Seeing her so up-close with her suspicious gaze and sharp teeth is disconcerting, but Doyoung is surprised to realize he still finds her face strangely appealing to look at. “We are living things like you, meaning we also have likes and dislikes.”

“So you do eat humans?”

“Stop being ridiculous. You should stop reading so many fairytales.” She lets go of the rock then, drifting back away from him and letting the rolling motion of the waves carry her. “Maybe you didn’t know it, but you can learn more knowledge from interacting with an actual mermaid than believing old myths.”

Doyoung’s embarrassed. “I didn’t—I’m not…”

“Anyway. Are you going to get in and try it or not? That’s the only thing I wanted to ask you about today. I’ll be on my way otherwise.”

Doyoung pauses. He doesn’t want her to leave, he realizes, even if he had already convinced himself that her consistent appearances were robbing him of his hard-sought peace. He hates the idea of getting in freezing cold water, but he might equally dislike the idea of her leaving. So on a foolish whim, he shucks his shoes and socks off and wades in knee-deep.

And then he stays rooted next to one of the big rocks for a long moment, trying to acclimate to the shock of the cold water, waves of it crashing around his legs with the high tide. “I-I don’t feel any d-different,” he stammers out through chattering teeth.

“You aren’t even trying to relax,” she remarks, drifting near his side and looking at him curiously. “It’s only possible to experience it when you let go.”

Doyoung makes a disbelieving sound. “H-how the hell can I relax in water that’s almost subzero?”

“Easily,” she responds, and grabs the arm closest to her. Doyoung looks at her hand clasping his arm, her long nails poking the material of his sweater.

“Oh...whoa. What?” Suddenly the cold is draining from his body, replaced with a warmth similar to that of a day during the height of spring, and the water around him is equally warming up. “Are you—? Doing that?”

“Everything isn’t pseudoscience,” she says. “And don’t worry, this isn’t one of those spells you told me not to do on you anymore.”

Doyoung grumbles at that but puts the skepticism to the side for a moment because there’s no other way to justify what’s happening. He gives a sincere effort to relax now that his mind is off the water temperature. He spends a few long minutes with his eyes closed, attempting to mentally sink into his surroundings. What does it even mean for water to be a healing thing? Should he try to interact with it? Run his fingers through it? He thinks that he’s lucky no one he knows is out here to see him make a mockery of himself.

Still, he struggles to loosen up. “I can’t,” he sighs, and almost pulls away from the mermaid in irritation before remembering she’s the only thing keeping him warm right now.

“That’s fine. It doesn’t always come on the first try,” she reassures him, which he doesn’t expect.

“And how many times would I need to try before it worked?”

“However long you need; it’s different for everyone.”

Doyoung sighs and starts making his way back to dry land. When her hand slips from his arm, the warm sensation lasts only a few lingering seconds more before flowing away. “Th-that’s not very reassuring. Or believable.”

“So you say,” she murmurs, watching him shiver like a leaf and clumsily hop back in his shoes. Then she brushes her hair away from her face and holds her head up. “Well, you know where to find me. If you want to try it again—and I really do mean try—”

“What if you’re not here that day? Do you really stay by these rocks every day? Am I supposed to look for you?”

She cocks her head, raising her eyebrows. “So far, I’ve been here every time you are.”

It’s an inconsequential thing to nitpick about, he knows, but he feels ridiculous and downtrodden for not being able to do something he’s not even sure he believes in, and that frustration must go somewhere.

“Right,” he mumbles, knowing she’s correct despite himself.

“Go home and rest.” She looks at him for a few moments before sinking beneath the water, and he can’t get that look out of his mind on the walk back to his house. It’s the look of someone who does not pity you per se, but who sees you as something worse—something weak and vulnerable and amusing. Like prey, maybe.

–

When Doyoung gets home later that night, his parents make a stir about the state he’s in.

“Why are your clothes wet?!” his mother asks, looking at him aghast. The sound of the door shutting brings her out into the foyer, and she is shocked by the sight of her damp and depressed-looking son.

Doyoung shakes his head, already feeling tired at what’s to come. “It’s nothing. I just...fell in the water. I’m fine.” What did he say that for? That admission only makes his mother more panicked, and it’s enough to bring his father and brother into the hallway too, watching in confusion and alarm.

“You’re fine? How could you be so careless? What if something had happened to you on the rocks, or you couldn’t regain your footing in the water—” His mother’s words break off as she rubs her forehead, lines of distress creasing her features.

The words splinter him on the inside. She is not wrong, but he feels babied, infantilized, and it makes him irritable all over again. He doesn’t need or want another reminder of why he can’t do anything right, can’t do anything to preserve his own life or anyone else’s—

“Maybe it’s not safe for you to keep going to the beach alone. And so late at night...at least take someone else with you next time,” his father suggests.

“I don’t need anyone to accompany me to the beach,” Doyoung protests. “I’m a grown adult.” A scratchy discomfort scrapes at the inside of his chest, but the statement turns weak and soft at the end at the worry in his mother’s face. There are tears in her eyes, and a few have already rolled down. Those little droplets give him pause before he can think to make any other argument.

“You may be an adult, but…” His mother chokes back a sob. “Between things like the car accident and the ongoing disappearances, how can you expect me not to worry? What can you say to that?”

“We are trying to look out for you, Doyoung,” his father reiterates. “No one wants to see another…” He stops himself before saying the words, sighing deeply and rubbing his chin. “Just consider it, please. Be more careful.”

“I will.” Doyoung’s reply comes out as a whisper. His mother takes one of his hands between both of hers and squeezes it, and he reluctantly squeezes back, feeling lifeless and guilty about his earlier reaction.

After that, he trudges up the stairs to shower and change. His family’s eyes follow him up the steps with varying expressions of sadness and concern. The guilt does not leave him until he crawls into bed that night and falls into a deep sleep.

In the morning, Doyoung is relieved to not have had another bad dream. His mind remains thankfully dark and empty until he wakes up. And he knows it has much to do with the pearl he’s had clutched in his palm throughout the night.

nine. the great outdoors

you already have a piece of my heart which i have never given to you

October comes in the blink of an eye.

At the beginning of the month, Doyoung goes on a camping trip with Gongmyung, Xiaojun, Seulgi, and Joy. It wasn’t his idea—his brother’s, really—but he decides to go along with it. He figures they could both use the distraction and the change of scenery. Oddly enough, he actually finds himself missing the possibility of being able to go to the beach during the days they’ll be gone. Maybe he’s finally gotten used to the place.

Is it really the beach he misses, though?

Doyoung doesn’t want to entertain the other thought, his stomach twisting into a knot at the idea of the mermaid. He doesn’t know whether to be annoyed or fascinated by her. But he keeps going back to that specific part of the beach when he could go anywhere else and reasonably dodge her. She gives him something else to talk or think about other than the accident, and he is beginning to feel a strange sensation—some sense of familiarity—whenever he sees her there.

Either way, he should probably stop thinking about her before one of the others gets concerned about why he’s even more spaced out than usual.

Doyoung lets those thoughts drift away on the trip to the camping site, which is an hour away. He leans his head against the window and keeps his eyes closed for most of the trip, listening to his Discman. Seulgi sits on the other side of him, with Xiaojun next to her quietly telling her about some book he’d been reading recently.

The camping site is a quaint place. Not so wild that it’s deep in the middle of the wilderness, but still forest-y enough to make it feel like a real camping trip.

Joy throws an arm around Doyoung’s shoulder after they get out of the van, breathing in the woodsy air and smiling softly. “It’s nice here. Kinda reminds you of our old camping trips?”

Doyoung cracks his first smile of the day at that memory, though it’s abruptly colored with a wash of blue as he remembers similar trips with Haechan—few and far between, but still worth emblazoning into his mind. Still, he keeps his smile up in front of her, not wanting to worry her or make her feel bad. “Yeah...and how you’d always go running at the first bug you saw.”

“That’s not gonna happen. I’m not a little girl anymore, and I’m not giving you more footage to laugh at with your friends.”

“I think Gongmyung still has that video on his old camcorder,” Doyoung remarks, smiling at the blush on her face at the remembrance of that embarrassing footage.

Joy has been the best at treating him the same as usual, not constantly trying to remind him of the grief or alternatively forcing him to not think about it, and he’s thankful for it. It makes him feel like his life is a little less upside-down.

In general, it’s easier to relax here among old friends who know him well—and even with Xiaojun, who’s still fairly new to their group.

Later that night after the tents have been set up and the fire has been adequately stoked, they share sandwiches and chips and other food around the flames. Afterwards, they roast marshmallows until they’re a pretty toasty brown, perfect for s’mores.

“It would be fun if we had some entertainment,” Seulgi says, and she eyes Xiaojun with a mischievous smile as she speaks.

“What about ghost stories?” Gongmyung suggests, which makes Joy shudder.

“That’s scary! And I’m not sure Joy will be able to handle it.” Seulgi giggles. Joy sticks her tongue out at her. “I was thinking more like...music, maybe?”

“I think she’s implicating me,” Xiaojun speaks up, blushing slightly.

“Yes! Pleaseee, if you don’t mind? I know you brought your guitar.”

Despite Doyoung being familiar with Xiaojun’s involvement in their school’s theatre program, he’d never heard the other man sing before. He raises his eyebrows, interest piqued.

Xiaojun gets his guitar out from the van and carefully takes it out of its case like it’s a newborn baby. Joy and Seulgi watch with barely concealed excitement as he tunes it. Their faces light up like they’re about to witness their very own little brother play at a school recital, both girls sitting on the edge of the log they’ve turned into a makeshift bench.

“Okay, me and one of the guys from theatre are putting together this song—Gongmyung, you know Kun, right? it’s like a duet—and it’s not complete yet, but here’s what we have. It’s called Back to You, by the way…”

--

The second day of their camping trip is filled with exploration, more singing, and some not-so-great attempts at fishing in the lake. Xiaojun is the only one remotely successful at catching any fish, which Doyoung is admittedly not surprised by at this point.

By the time the sun sets, they have another fire going strong and are huddled around it telling scary stories this time—by Gongmyung’s suggestion, of course.

Everyone’s a bit too unsettled to go to bed right away, but when it gets past 1 a.m., they eventually make their way into their tents.

The two girls tent together while Doyoung, Gongmyung, and Xiaojun sleep in the other one a little ways away from them.

Before falling asleep, Doyoung unzips his hoodie pocket and slips a hand inside as he lies in his sleeping bag. He finds the pearl there, and he skims the pads of his fingers over it. He’d almost forgotten about it, not needing to use it while being caught up in the fun of hanging out with the others. Its smooth surface quickly warms up as he brushes his fingers across it. A warm, hazy fog drapes over his brain as his eyes drift shut.

Doyoung wakes in the middle of the night with the urge to pee and realizes Xiaojun isn’t there; the flap of his sleeping bag is neatly peeled back, but he’s not in it. This sparks curiosity in Doyoung. He climbs out of the tent, careful not to jostle his brother, and finds a spot far enough away from the tents to do his business without worrying about being jumped on by some wild animal.

He’s about to head back towards the main campsite and attempt to look for Xiaojun when he hears a noise. Standing still and listening for a while longer, he realizes it’s not just a random sound of leaves rustling or the wind blowing; it’s a voice.

This place isn’t that deserted—maybe there’s another group camping nearby. Still, the unknown voice sends a chill up his back, and the scary stories they told earlier doesn’t help. Despite the option of going back to the tent, he heads further out to find the source of the noise and see if it’s anything they’d need to be concerned about. He keeps a light foot as he does, careful not to possibly alert the other person to his presence.

Following the sound leads Doyoung back to the lake. He keeps to the shadows of the trees as he edges closer, and he is shocked to see Xiaojun crouching there at the bank where the dirt and sand meet the water.

He is not alone, either.

There’s someone else there with Xiaojun, though the last thing Doyoung expects to see is that same glimmering tail, its wide, curving fin, and the flash of the mermaid’s sharp teeth as she smiles at the younger man.

Why is she here? How is she here? How would she have known to find Xiaojun all the way out here? Or Doyoung? Seeing this scene, though, Doyoung realizes quickly that he isn’t the one she’s come looking for.

He’s still a bit too far to hear their conversation, especially over the noise of the night insects and animals. He doesn’t think he needs to hear it to guess what’s going on, with how their bodies lean towards each other in a way that speaks of familiarity. Intimacy.

Doyoung cannot fathom why he feels jealous of this—or of the kiss they both share and the way Xiaojun’s fingers curl into that black hair. A kiss with teeth so sharp can’t be pleasant, Doyoung tries to convince himself, and he is a fool and a glutton for punishment, and yet Doyoung mentally superimposes himself into Xiaojun���s place anyway, if only in the furthest reaches of his subconscious.

He goes back to the tent confused and disgruntled, reimagining that kiss until it’s the only thing he sees when he closes his eyelids. Later, he registers Xiaojun’s body next to his as the other man climbs back into the tent; he doesn’t know how much time has passed between Xiaojun returning to the tent and when he first discovered Xiaojun with the mermaid. Doyoung pretends to be asleep, his back turned to the younger man.

He forgets about the pearl in his pocket entirely. Otherwise, he’d have used it to get a more peaceful night’s sleep.

-- 

Their last few days in the forest go by relatively peacefully, and it’s a welcome break from life in the center of the city. However, Doyoung can’t completely rid himself of the twinge of jealousy he feels when he thinks back to that night or interacts with Xiaojun.

That makes him feel guilty. He wishes he didn’t, but he doesn’t quite understand it, either. Why didn’t Xiaojun tell him on the boat ride, or during any of the other times they’ve talked about mermaids and other strange sea legends? Doyoung wonders how long the man has been keeping this secret; making that first realization that mermaids are not just myths is no small thing to keep to oneself.

Perhaps it’s really none of his business. He, too, holds plenty of his own secrets tight to his chest.

All Doyoung can think about is what he might say to the mermaid the next time he sees her.

ten. so inviting, i almost jump in

i don’t like that anyone would die to feel your touch everybody wants you everybody wonders what it would be like to love you

Despite the mermaid’s past words, she isn’t always there when Doyoung comes to the beach. Those days disappoint him—make him feel like the trek to this rocky, chilly place wasn't all that worth it. After the camping trip and their return to the main part of the city, he doesn’t see her for nearly a week.

When she randomly appears again one evening, his heart leaps into his throat, which shocks him.

“Doyoung,” she greets him, peering at him from behind a small boulder. Her fingernails tap against it in a rhythm he doesn’t know.

Her bottomless black eyes immobilize him. “Uh, hi,” he whispers.

She doesn’t say anything else after his greeting—doesn’t feel the need to. For a while, he doesn’t speak either. Until...

“You know Xiaojun.” It takes him an embarrassingly long amount of time to work himself up to say this. He just sits there watching her swim for a while, her green scales shining under the moonlight and long hair trailing behind her, before speaking.

The mermaid stops swimming, and her face changes. The difference would be almost imperceptible if he hadn’t been staring at her the whole time. Then a small smile graces her lips. “I do.”

Doyoung’s mouth works silently, but he doesn’t know quite how to proceed. He wasn’t expecting this blunt response, but maybe he should know her better than that by now. “How?”

“Xiaojun is mine. That is really all you need to know.”

“Yours. As in, your latest dinner?”

“I would never. Though I am beginning to wonder if you have cannibalism fantasies with how much you talk about humans being eaten.”

“Shut up.” The glare she gives him is enough to make him regret his words; he shrinks away from her. “Sorry.”

“He’s nice. I like him quite a lot. He’s a...very romantic person.”

“Romantic,” Doyoung repeats. “So then, it’s that kind of relationship.”

“Are you envious?”

Doyoung immediately snorts as if he thinks the idea is sheer ridiculousness. He finds his cheeks heating up, though, when that familiar bitter emotion begins souring in his chest and stomach.

She has already peered inside his dreams by way of some “magic” he can’t even begin to comprehend, so he’s not sure if he can hide anything from her.

He attempts anyway. “It just surprised me. That’s all.”

“Did he tell you about us?”

“No, I...saw you two. At...the lake.”

“Hmm.”

“You don’t seem surprised.”

“No reason to be. He told me where he’d be, said he’d be camping with his friends, in case I wondered where he was. Told me I was free to come see him. I came to see him. I knew you’d be there. I did not realize you’d be spying, though.” Doyoung opens his mouth to speak but then pauses. “Are you sad I didn’t come for you, Doyoung?”

Doyoung blushes harder. “No. I just…”

“Or maybe you just wanted Dejun all to yourself? He really is a cutie, you know; he’s told me himself how people are always flirting with him…” Doyoung scoffs at that, turning his face away for fear of her saying he looks like a tomato or something just as ridiculous.

“I don’t know what games you’re playing,” Doyoung blurts out. “You knew about both of us and didn’t say anything.”

The mermaid leans her head against one of the rocks, her eyes fluttering like she might fall asleep from this conversation. “I didn’t see a need to. What I choose to do with either of you isn’t the other’s business...unless I make it so.”

“Are there more?” Once again, the words tumble out without his control.

“How brash.” The mermaid grins. “No. But would you even believe me?”

Doyoung groans and puts his head on his knees, feeling incredibly silly at being played by a mermaid. And what’s even more embarrassing—there is no tangible relationship between them, barely even a touch other than that time she’d led him into the water. Certainly no love confession or anything of the sort. What did he really have to be mad over?

“I feel like a fool,” Doyoung says quietly.

“Yes, I tend to have that effect on men. But…if you’re very upset about it, and with me, then I can leave you alone from now on. Let you resume your normal human life.”

Doyoung’s head shoots up. “What? No. I never said…” The idea of another person leaving him so unexpectedly grinds against his nerves like metal on metal, stirs up raw fears, makes the back of his neck sweat.

She simply smiles back at him, already knowing how he must feel about her suggestion. “Then, shall I stay?”

Doyoung looks away from her, chewing his bottom lip. Some part of him knows she’s holding his fear of abandonment against him, but he feels too weak and too alone to push back against it. “If that’s what you want.”

“But is it what you want?”

It takes him a few moments to part his lips and make himself give voice to it. “…It is. Yes.”

The mermaid spreads her arms out in the water, gesturing to the space around her with gleaming, voracious eyes. “Then here I will remain.”

eleven. love bites

love bites, love bleeds it's bringing me to my knees

Xiaojun visits the mermaid late one night to give her a present.

He doesn’t go to the beach this time, or even the lake, but a far-off lagoon that not many people know about. It’s one of the many bodies of water in their city that connects to the ocean, so there’s always an easy way for her and the other mermaids to get there.

His gift for her isn’t wrapped in any special bows or sparkly papers—just a black tarp. Once he gets it out of his truck, he drags it carefully across the dirt and sand, the parcel being a bit too heavy to comfortably carry.

She swims up to their small meeting place a few minutes after he gets there; he sees the green of her scales glittering in the water as she swims close to the surface. When she surfaces, she pushes herself up onto the shore until she can’t go any further. Xiaojun is already there to meet her as he always is, uncaring of the cold water at his feet. His shoes remain abandoned in a dry spot further back on the lagoon’s shore, his jeans rolled up above his ankles.

“My love.” The endearment is a prayer on his lips—the first drops of water after 40 days in the desert.

“Dejun.” She reaches out to touch the side of his face, and her fingers leave wet streaks on his skin. He unconsciously pushes his face further into the press of her palm, the movement being a muscle memory at this point, and they lean towards each other at the same time to share a kiss. Xiaojun comes away with the taste of saltwater on his lips.

Xiaojun turns to the black tarp and begins carefully pulling it apart. She observes him with a tiny smile on her face.

“Do you remember mentioning Doyoung...one of the guys you talked about from your camping trip?” she asks him as he works.

“Uh, yeah...what about him?”

“What do you think about him?”

Xiaojun’s spine stiffens, and his actions falter for a few moments. He hopes she is not implying what he thinks. “Why do you ask? Do you...know of him?”

“He comes to the beach all the time. We have talked often. I’m surprised you haven’t run into each other, at this point.” That revelation stirs jealousy in Xiaojun, though he tries to suppress it. He knows she’s claimed him as her own, but she has never allowed the same kind of ownership over her, remaining free to do whatever she wants with whoever she pleases.

He thought he didn’t much mind this arrangement over the last two years. But knowing the other person is Doyoung, specifically, makes him feel oddly inferior. How can he measure up to a man like that—one who is older, more accomplished, and apparently interesting enough to be one of the few men to hold the attention of the mermaid Xiaojun’s been in love with for so long?

In front of Doyoung, he could not help but feel like a clumsy teenager again. He initially thought he’d done a decent job of impressing the older man with his knowledge of boats and the marina and the mermaids, but ultimately, he wasn’t sure how much that stuff would really matter to a man with a soon-to-be degree in something as prestigious as Information Security. Doyoung was someone who’d already done his time in the army and came out more mature for it. Someone who seemed a lot more…adult than himself.

“Is...that why he was asking about mermaids?” Xiaojun asks, though he’s mostly talking to himself. “Then why pretend…?” Maybe it’s better that Doyoung does pretend. The further he keeps his distance from this odd web Xiaojun and the mermaid have woven, the better. He is not confident things will stay that way much longer, though.

“Does that displease you?” the mermaid asks, staring at his back as he keeps it turned to her.

“No, I…I understand what’s between us.” Xiaojun swallows. “Were you planning on…?”

“No, not that. Not with him. He’s interesting. I’ll keep him around—if he’s even the kind that can be kept, that is. He’s still quite independent. That’s admirable in it’s own little adorable way.”

“I see…”

She laughs. “You don’t have to act unaffected about it if you aren’t. I know how you men can be.”

Xiaojun shakes his head. “Nothing you do can bother me. I’ve gotten used to much worse things.”

Finally, the tarp is peeled completely back to bear the gift Xiaojun procured for her. The dead body lies unblinking and still within the black material, the man’s clothes stained with blood from his stab wounds.

“Oh, perfect, perfect,” the mermaid purrs, leaning in closer to study the stranger’s features. She slides a hand up the man’s arm. “The skin is even still warm. You did well, Dejun.”

Xiaojun sits back in the sand and watches as she lowers herself on top of the man’s body, her long tail leaving slime behind, her face level with his chest. She strokes her hands across the man’s body for a moment as if memorizing every clothing detail, hair follicle, and imperfection, before opening her mouth wide and biting a hole into his chest, right where his heart should be.

Though Xiaojun has gotten used to the sneaking around, the lying, the preparation of the bodies, and even the killing itself, this part always manages to turn his stomach. (She has told him before that eating the heart gives her a taste of that person’s memories, fears, and loves—everything that makes them human. On most days, that vaguely unsettles him. On some precious few days, he wonders what it might be like for her to know him wholly in that way, for them to meld completely as one.)

Still, there is something darkly appealing about her when she’s in this carnal state, feeding both for necessity and for the pleasure of it. Knowing that she is capable of this but still keeps him around instead of turning him into just another meal, and that she trusts him with procuring her food and maintaining their secret, makes him feel worthy of her.

So, he forces himself to watch as she scoops the man’s heart out and bites into it as if it were a soft pastry, the blood leaking down her chest, hands, and arms. The tarp catches most of it, but the rest will be washed away by the lagoon’s waters either way.

And when she is done, he helps her drag the body into the water like they have done many times before—the ritual ingrained in his mind at this point—so the other mermaids can feed on the remains. The scent of blood in the water will attract them soon. They will leave no evidence behind once their feast is devoured. Even the bones are woven into pretty necklaces and earrings and bracelets, worn mostly by the mermaids who stay far below the surface.

“Thank you, Dejun.” The water has washed away most of the blood on her brown hands, but he still tastes the metallic intensity of it in her mouth when she cups his cheeks and kisses him, and it makes him nauseous. He refuses to show this to her, instead returning the kiss fully.

He places a hand on her tail, feeling the slimy, smooth scales and the grit of sand underneath his palm. “Anything for you.”

twelve. full moon

Doyoung has yet to explore the cove on the beach, finding it a bit too insular and creepy for his tastes. The rocks and the tide pools have become his frequent hangout spot at this point, and he…doesn’t love them, but there is always some comfort in familiarity. However, he goes to the cove now at the mermaid’s request; she’d asked him to come specifically on this night during one of the other days when they were spending time together. The thought of being so obedient to her whims makes his cheeks flush. He’s not sure why he feels so compelled to do what she asks of him, but he can’t deny that she has carved out a space in his mind.

The moon is full tonight, and it provides enough light to make him feel less nervous about being at the cove, though not quite enough to make him completely let his guard down. He has a sudden, surprising thought that he’s not actually sure if he’s more afraid of the cove or of her. It seems stupid. Despite his half-joking quips about mermaids eating humans, she’s never shown any real intent of harming him.

Doyoung rubs his pointer finger over the pearl in his jean pocket, and it works to soothe his fears.

When he makes it to the cove, three things shock him at once.

She is wrapped in a blanket, and though it is cold outside, this is still unexpectedly odd to him.

Her tail is not poking out of it like he’d expect; instead, there are two fully formed human legs.

Xiaojun is sitting beside her.

A lantern provides extra light inside the dim cove and casts a warm glow on their faces. Xiaojun doesn’t seem particularly surprised that Doyoung is there, though his expression couldn’t really be called ecstatic, either. The mermaid is leaning her head on his shoulder, though she lifts it up once she notices Doyoung.

“What is he doing here?!” Doyoung blurts out.

“I wanted you both to be here for once. You’re always visiting me separately,” she answers, standing up to face Doyoung. “I’m surprised you’re not more curious about the legs, really.”

The mermaid steps into the cove’s entrance, dragging the blanket behind her, and Doyoung watches her with intrigue as she walks. There’s nothing awkward or inexperienced about her gait, even though she spends most of her time with a fish tail. The blanket falls open a little from where she holds the two sides of it together, and he looks away abruptly, his face burning as some of her lower half is bared to him.

“I—um. Okay. How do you have...legs?”

She points her finger to the sky, and as Doyoung turns his head, he realizes she’s gesturing at the full moon. “The moon and the sea are tied together, right? During full moons, things become possible that you normally wouldn’t foresee. It only lasts for as long as the moon is in its full phase, night or day.”

Doyoung doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he just nods dumbly with his mouth open. He’s not sure he’ll have cause to call himself a healthy skeptic for much longer.

She grasps his hand and pulls him in the direction of the cove. His feet move a little slower than hers, but he allows himself to be guided as Xiaojun watches them with almost plaintive eyes. “Sit,” she says, sitting down beside Xiaojun again and pulling on Doyoung’s hand for him to join. He realizes belatedly that there’s another blanket underneath them, so at least he won’t get sand all over his jeans.

“Hyung,” Xiaojun says by way of greeting.

“I guess you’re used to this,” Doyoung says, his eyes drifting over the entirety of the scene in lieu of expanding on what this is. “You didn’t say you knew any mermaids.”

“Well, neither did you.”

“Okay, well...that’s true,” Doyoung huffs. “I just thought…maybe you’d think I was insane if I said it.” And maybe he just wanted to have something he could keep to himself.

The mermaid laughs at this, though it comes out more like air whistling through her nose. “Dejun is obsessed with the ocean. If anyone would believe you, it’s him.”

“I see…”

A quiet falls over the three of them. Doyoung tries not to feel awkward in it, but he doesn’t know what to say or do, if anything. The mermaid goes back to resting her head on Xiaojun’s shoulder and rests her hand over top of Doyoung’s. Doyoung’s fingers twitch at the proximity. A few long seconds pass before he rearranges their hands so he can hold hers properly. He’s never touched her like this before, but her allowing him to do so now makes him yearn for more of it.

He doesn’t know how much time passes. Maybe just a few minutes, but it feels longer than that. He finally decides to break the silence.

“Do you...gain legs every full moon?”

“Yes. Many of the mermaids would rather not switch, preferring the water, but I like the duality of it.”

She rearranges herself to lay her legs across Doyoung’s lap, and her hand slips from his as she does. He’s a bit disappointed about that, but that’s quickly replaced by surprise.

“Touch them if you want.”

Doyoung glances at her. When she looks at him expectantly, he brings one of his hands to her shin and glides his palm over it. He’s not sure what he was anticipating, but they’re just like human legs. He wonders what happens to her tail whenever she’s like this. He still has a hard time wrapping his head around the concept of “moon magic.”

She moves away from Xiaojun, and both men watch as she leans closer to Doyoung, touching the side of his jaw. Doyoung’s throat tightens at their increased nearness and those burning black holes for irises. “Do you want to feel good?” she asks him in a whisper.

“F-feel good?”

“You’ve been hurting so much, for so long. You deserve to feel good for a while.” Then she adds, “That’s all I want to do. I’m not trying to ‘fix’ you. Only time and acceptance can mend any pain.”

“I...” Doyoung wants to hesitate, but all at once, he acutely feels the weight of everything that’s been weighing on him for the past couple of months. He is incredibly tired of pretending to be okay when he is not. Tired of going in circles about how to move on, how to “let go” of a magnitude of hurt that he’s barely begun to comprehend for himself. For a while, it would be nice to simply forget and untie himself from his mind. Lose himself to the physicality of just being. “Okay.”

“You’re positive?” she asks again. “We won’t do anything you don’t want. We can stop whenever.”

“Please.” There’s a note of desperation in his tone now.

Xiaojun watches attentively as the mermaid closes the remaining gap between her and Doyoung, pressing her lips to his timid ones. Doyoung’s eyes flutter closed as he leans into it, reciprocating the movements of her lips. It is the kiss he’s been deeply longing for, yet did not allow himself to consciously imagine. He finds that her teeth aren’t painful on him as he’d thought they’d be. Her kiss is deceptively gentle as she suckles his top lip and the curve of his cupid’s bow. She lets her tongue teasingly slip into his mouth, but only momentarily.

A soft moan comes from Doyoung. The older man almost forgets Xiaojun is there until he hears a shifting noise that isn’t coming from either him or the mermaid. She pulls away from him then and turns to Xiaojun, who’s looking at both of them with an expression Doyoung can’t decipher. Then she kisses Xiaojun the same way, and he relaxes into it almost instantly, clearly having done this with her on multiple occasions.

She still keeps one hand on Doyoung’s and leads his hand to the gap in her blanket, pressing it against her breast. His breath hitches at the feeling of her warm skin against his, and it’s as if his brain short-circuits; he doesn’t know how to react for a moment.

Then, tentatively, he comes closer to her, bringing his mouth to the side of her neck, brushing her curly hair away from her shoulder with his other hand. He pauses there for a moment, running his fingers over the softness of her neck and shoulder and the firm bone of her collarbone, before kissing her neck.

With his hand still on her breast, he squeezes it slightly, feeling the nipple harden underneath his palm, and kisses her neck all the way down to where his hand is. More of the blanket falls away from her shoulder as he does, baring her upper half to both men.

Doyoung hasn’t done this in a while, and the movements feel clumsy, but he brings his hand away from her breast and replaces it with his mouth, kissing her soft skin and grazing his lips over her nipples. Her skin smells of the sea, though it isn’t anything overpowering or unpleasant—just like boundless water and the tang of salt. He does the same for both sides of her chest, pressing his lips into her skin repeatedly with the slightest graze of teeth. Her pulse beats steadily underneath his mouth.

He listens to the wet kiss between her and Xiaojun, and something stirs inside him at the sounds of it. He doesn’t know whether to be weirded out by that or not—the fact that witnessing this intimacy between them is arousing—so he tries not to focus on his feelings about it and just remains in the present.

He does not get to listen for long, because she soon parts from Xiaojun—and from Doyoung’s lips searching their way across her breasts, too. She shuffles herself to sit in Xiaojun’s lap, back facing his front, as she pulls Doyoung closer to her by the fabric of his hoodie. Then she slips her hands underneath it, feeling his stomach all the way up to his nipples. Her long nails skimming across the hard nubs makes him shudder, and he feels the beginnings of a familiar but long-forgotten heat rising in the pit of his abdomen.

She eases the hoodie up and over his head and lifts his shirt so she can kiss his chest. One of her hands snakes around to his back as she wraps her lips around his nipple, and she traces her nails over his back and across the vertebrae of his spine. It’s not hard enough to hurt, but enough to have him tensing up and sighing into a moan.

At the same time, Xiaojun’s hands make their way to her waist and hips, sliding over her thighs and then between. Xiaojun’s mouth parts with a soundless moan as he dips one hand further down and feels her slick and hot against his fingers, and he presses further into that soft wetness until it yields for him.

She sighs appreciatively at Xiaojun’s actions, settling herself further in his lap. Her hands drop lower to the front of Doyoung’s jeans, and she undoes them. She rubs her thumb along the line of his boxers, smiling slightly against his skin at the way his abdomen tenses at the tickling touch. She soon slips her hand into the space between his pants and underwear, feeling him half-hard against her fingers.

Her lips travel back up to Doyoung’s neck, and she kisses his jawline tenderly as she keeps rubbing her palm against him, feeling him grow stiffer with her movements. When she finally reaches her hand inside his underwear and grasps him, an airy noise drops from his lips at the feeling of her thumb sliding across the slickened tip and her mouth sucking softly at the hinge of his jawbone.

Xiaojun’s hand presses into her inner thigh to spread her legs a bit further open, and he leans forward to kiss the nape of her neck and down her back even as she kisses Doyoung’s face. Xiaojun tastes drops of saltwater from her dampened hair as he goes. He presses his cheek against her back and his own length throbs underneath her, but for now he ignores it in favor of pleasuring her.

She presses back on him, grinding against his arousal, and Xiaojun moans in response as he curls his fingers deeply inside her.

Though they don’t consciously intend to, the three of them fall into a compatible rhythm together, all rocking and stroking together like waves—her hand on Doyoung, Xiaojun’s hand on her, and her slowly grinding against Xiaojun. Doyoung finds himself getting swept up in it, grasping her hair, tugging her mouth to his, and pushing his hips up into the tight circle of her fist.

Doyoung releases first, spilling over her hand with a soft and high-pitched sound; he is still overly conscious of being outside and tries to keep himself quiet. It is the best sensation he’s experienced in months, and he immediately feels attached to that rush of pleasure—wants to feel it again and again. The mermaid smiles widely, her teeth glinting in the light of the lamp, and licks his cum off her hand. She comes soon after Doyoung, with Xiaojun’s fingers pushing inside her and his palm rubbing against her clit, all while rocking her hips against his hand and tilting her head back onto his shoulder.

When Xiaojun pulls his fingers back, they are wet with her release, and he watches enraptured as the sticky strings of her wetness glisten on his fingers in the lamplight. He moves to bring them to his mouth, but she grasps his wrist. He looks at her questioningly, and his expression turns into a flustered blush when she guides his hand towards Doyoung.

“Taste me.”

Doyoung is equally flustered. He looks to Xiaojun, trying to read his eyes for signs of dissent. To his surprise, the younger man gives him a bashful nod, so Doyoung accepts, letting Xiaojun’s fingers tickle the seam of his mouth and then push inside. The mermaid lets go of Xiaojun’s hand then, letting him maneuver himself as he tentatively shifts his fingers around in Doyoung’s mouth. The wet heat of the older man’s mouth reminds him of how hard he still is, and he groans quietly as his cock throbs.

When both men pull back, the air is thicker than before, more tense. Xiaojun is too embarrassed to hold Doyoung’s gaze for much longer, averting his eyes to the blanket. The mermaid gets off Xiaojun’s lap then, sitting down on the blanket.

“Poor thing. You still haven’t come,” she murmurs, stroking her finger across Xiaojun’s bulge and giggling when it twitches. Xiaojun watches her touch him with his eyebrows drawn together. “Wait a little longer.” She kisses Xiaojun’s bottom lip, then the top one, and pulls away before he can think about reciprocating. “I want Doyoung tonight.” The older man visibly perks up at hearing this, and then feels a little embarrassed at anticipating it so strongly. “Do you want to take it further?”

“I...yeah,” Doyoung breathes out, his stomach warming at the idea of experiencing more of this with her. He is becoming less nervous about the idea of Xiaojun watching them and being present while they have sex; it rouses something in him.

“Take your clothes off,” she instructs him. She turns to Xiaojun. “You too.” Xiaojun does as she asks of him without question, nothing but a small nod to show his acknowledgement as he begins pulling his jacket off. Doyoung hesitates for a moment longer, biting his lip. She looks at him with a small smile, though it’s not a mocking one; his reluctance is cute. “No one’s going to see us, Doyoungie. Promise. Dejun and I have done this plenty of times before.”

Doyoung blushes at that, and Xiaojun makes a muffled noise from underneath his shirt as he tugs it over his head. “Uh...right. Okay...” Doyoung follows suit and pulls his own shirt off, immediately shivering a bit when the cold air hits him.

It doesn’t take much longer for both men to get fully nude alongside the mermaid. Both men’s eyes linger on each other’s bodies for fleeting moments—Doyoung’s eyes scouring over the planes of Xiaojun’s abs, Xiaojun studying the lines of Doyoung’s shoulders and thighs. They’d seen each other in various states of undress during the camping trip, but not as wholly as this, and not within this charged context.

The mermaid lies on her side on the blanket, her hair spreading over the fabric and across her breasts. Propping her head up on her hand, she gestures to both men with the other. “Well, come over here then.”

Doyoung lies behind her while Xiaojun settles in front of her, staring at her with an anticipatory expression. She reaches between her legs, slides her fingers through the slick, and wraps her hand around Xiaojun’s length, listening to the way his voice catches and trembles in his throat at finally being touched bare. Doyoung’s cock twitches where it prods against the back of her thigh, and she shifts her hips closer to his, silently asking him to enter her. So he does.

When Doyoung slips inside her, he gasps at the wet grip around him and pushes further into that heat, wanting to reach the depths of it, adoring the way it envelops him. He grasps her hip tightly.

He rocks into her with his face buried in her neck and hair. He feels completely enshrouded by her, her scent and warmth all around him and seeping into his bones, fusing into them. The noises she makes are soft and sound to him like a song—one made up of his name.

Xiaojun’s moans meet Doyoung’s ears too, lower than hers and a bit breathier, as she pumps his shaft and latches her lips to his neck and shoulder. Doyoung’s hand slips further across her hip, sliding between her legs and rubbing at that bundle of nerves, and a short cry bursts from his lips at how she tightens around him.

With all their legs tangled together and minds clouded with desire, it becomes hard to tell where one person ends and the other begins, and none of them much care.

Doyoung moves his hand to press it to her stomach, leaving barely a centimeter of space between their bodies as he increases his pace and drags his lips over her nape, parting the thick curtain of hair to access the smooth skin of her neck.

“Please...oh, please…” Xiaojun pants, his voice growing more desperate as he sails closer to that zenith of pleasure. He grasps the mermaid’s face to kiss her, and she purrs against his mouth from having both men’s lips on her body at once.

Xiaojun comes with a groan, his tip rubbing against her thigh and smearing cum across her skin, which drips down onto the blanket. His hips twitch as she keeps stroking him through it, milking him until there’s nothing left to give.

Xiaojun shuffles himself down to their lower halves, laying his lips across her stomach and abdomen as he goes, and reaches the swollen little bud that he takes between his lips. The three of them are a messy jumble of bodies as Doyoung thrusts into her and Xiaojun drags his tongue across her clit, and the blanket has been messed up and shuffled out of place by now, sand covering part of it. She doesn’t mind the grit of the sand, but the men might complain about it later.

Then Xiaojun lets his tongue slide against Doyoung’s shaft as if it were an accident. Doyoung’s breath seizes in his chest for a few moments as he savors the pleasure of two very different wet warmths at once.

The mermaid comes with one hand buried in Xiaojun’s hair and the other running against Doyoung’s skin, no clear path in sight—just trying to access whatever part of Doyoung’s body she can from this angle. Doyoung comes a few minutes behind her, clutching her closer to his body and murmuring a broken moan into her mouth as if he can make her feel exactly what he does if he only connects their lips, tongues, and spit.

When their breathing slows and hearts stop racing, Doyoung drifts off to sleep against the mermaid’s chest, and she lets him stay there awhile. They will need to get up soon enough, certainly before dawn to avoid being discovered, but she lets him rest for now; he looks too peaceful to disturb.

Xiaojun crowds in on the other side of her like he did earlier, tucking his head into her shoulder and listening to her breathe. He looks at Doyoung across from him and realizes, despite his own uncertainty and jealousy, that he has come to find a certain affinity for this face—one he has never seen look quite so tranquil until now, even in the deep shadows the lantern creates.

“...Should we tell him?” Xiaojun asks her, his voice miniscule beneath the rushing of the ocean waves outside.

The mermaid shakes her head. “One day, I suppose we will have to. But not now.” She looks over at Xiaojun. “I’m sure you can continue keeping our secret.”

“Of course,” he agrees, his words a rushed breath against her neck.

She brings her hand to the side of his face and brushes her knuckles across his cheekbone. “Good.”

thirteen. spring, 1995

on tiring nights and busy daytimes please make room in your heart for me to rest

“Your hair has gotten so long.”

The mermaid runs one of her hands through Doyoung’s hair, and he shivers slightly at her long nails ghosting down the nape of his neck.

“It has, hyung. You almost have a mullet now.” Xiaojun snickers.

“I know. Should I cut it?”

Her eyes turn big and incredulous. “Absolutely not. It looks good on you.”

“I have a big presentation coming up soon,” Doyoung mutters. “I’ll probably need to cut it anyway. A trim, at least. Just so it doesn’t look messy.”

“What a shame,” she sighs, tracing her index finger across his cheek. “Promise you’ll grow it back out after that.”

“I don’t know, I can’t walk around with my hair like this at an office job…”

“You’re both graduating soon, that’s right,” the mermaid remarks, digging her toes into the grass of the steep hill beneath them. “Being a human is...terribly exhausting.”

“We’ll still make time for you, though,” Xiaojun quickly pipes up. “We aren’t going to abandon you just because we have to go out into the real world now.”

“Of course you’ll make time for me,” she says, and they share a word-filled glance that Doyoung doesn’t notice as he looks in the picnic basket. One that speaks of their long-standing collusion.

When the mermaid has her legs, it is easier for the three of them to get together on dry land. They still cannot be around other people—others would only wonder about her sharp teeth and ask too many questions—but they take opportunities whenever possible to meet in remote places and spend time together. Riding in Xiaojun’s pickup truck to get to this grassy, empty field and its rolling hills was just one of their latest adventures.

Xiaojun smoothly changes the subject, gripping a section of the mermaid’s pale pink sundress between his thumb and forefinger. “I like this dress I bought for you.”

“And this bow I got,” Doyoung adds, playing with one of its bright pink ribbons as it rests in her curly hair.

“Well, it’s all very cute. But you two have made me look like I’m a schoolgirl or something. Humans sure love their strange fetishes.”

“That’s not it,” Xiaojun argues, blushing fiercely at her claim. “I just thought it’d look nice!”

“It does,” she says, casually throwing a leg over his lap. “Relax, Junnie.” She leans against Doyoung as she drapes her other leg over Xiaojun’s lap, and Doyoung enjoys the weight and warmth of her body against his.

Doyoung has turned towards that same weight and warmth numerous times since that night in the cove. She and Xiaojun have passed their hands, mouths, and ardent gazes over him more times than he cares to count, even over the course of that one winter. Just as she said, she was not able to “fix” him and never intended to, but her company was an undeniable form of solace for him. Both of them had, in their own ways, tethered him to a less painful world and helped him piece himself back together. Being in their presence consoled him in the darker moments—along with the pearl.

Doyoung glides his hand across her back, brushing her hair. He remembers how he’d envied Xiaojun for being able to touch and kiss her so freely that day at the lake, how he’d desired to know her as intimately as the other man did. He presses his nose to her temple and breathes her in, that everlasting scent of ocean spray, and closes his eyes as he listens to her and Xiaojun banter with each other. Doyoung thinks he could probably spend forever just like this with these two; no matter how many responsibilities they take on, there must be a way to make it work.

Oh, what a joyous thing it is to have love in the palm of your hand…

...even when you’re in the palm of someone else’s.

[yutafrita]

Under the Blue Flames- Six

"There is no blue without yellow and without orange." - Vincent Van Gogh

Pairing: Vampire!Yuta x Reader

Y/N Pronouns: She/Her

Genre: Fantasy au, Supernatural nct, sometimes college au, sometimes magical school au, angst, fluff

Chapter Word Count: ~10K

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, violence, blood, religious references and imagery, suggestive scenes

Access Previous Chapters Here

Tag List! @hope-lovelle @ygimsgw @kodasity​ @nini0620

Chapter Six

“Legal psychology sounds fascinating,” Yuta was looking over your shoulder at your tentative schedule for next semester. You two were in the infirmary now with Mark who was looking over Yuta’s notes from his Calculus III class.

“I hope it is,” you sighed. Mark was healing tremendously well now, and with Yuta keeping him well updated in his courses and your friends stopping by so he was never alone more than he had to be, he was most likely cleared to return to a somewhat normal schedule by next week. He only had light scarring now on his face and arm, but with the faeries water healing abilities even the scars should disappear soon enough.

“Yuta, these notes are so intricate,” Mark commented, scanning them over. It was true, you had seen his organization before when looking over his Frankenstein notes, but that paled in comparison to the level of care he put into maintaining structure into Mark’s notes.

“That’s just how I take notes, I hope it helped,” he looked bashful, him shyly scratching the back of his neck looking so odd in comparison to his intimidating fangs.

“Yeah, it helped a lot! Thanks so much! Now you can take it easy with just your night classes,” Mark spoke cheerfully, but Yuta looked down as he remembered that the arrangement was temporary. Today would be the last day he would have to cover for Mark class wise. You placed your hand on Yuta’s, raising your eyebrow to silently see if he was okay. He nodded, forcing his false smile.

You checked the time on your phone just as Ten walked in, a capri sun pressed to his lips as he entered with his sunglasses on.

“Can you believe the glares I got walking in here and eating,” he pushed his sunglasses up now, his eyes red.

“Because you’re drinking donated blood in broad daylight,” you chuckled. Ten rolled his eyes, finishing the pouch before tossing it into the trash can next to the door.

“It’s either this or one of the nurses,” he joked, sitting down on the chair next to you. You shut your laptop then, gathering your things for class.

“We’ll see you in class Ten. Bye bro!” you waved goodbye at the pair, Yuta following in suit before you two started out of the night infirmary and back to the surface of the campus. He slid on his glasses, slightly less giddy than he was the past days.

“Do you want to go to day classes?” you asked him, having waited until you were alone to do so. He bit his lip, his fangs away already.

“I do,” he admitted. “I was never really able to interact with anything human until coming here, and even then I hardly could until I was finally able to take that lit class.”

“Starting to think you only like me because I’m human,” you joked. He looked at you scared and seeming ready to deny it before you laughed, showing that you were just kidding.

“You know I’m sensitive when it comes to you,” he groaned, reaching and taking your hand in his to squeeze it reassuringly. You let go of it as you passed the gates of the main building to meet Kun. He was reading over a textbook when you approached, greeting you both with a smile. Yuta was the first and only mythic to meet your human friends, and got along with them incredibly well despite Kun and Jungwoo being seemingly intimidated by him at first. You had opted to say he was a son of a Dad’s colleague who was helping Mark with his work while Mark was visiting your grandmother for the week. They didn’t press too much.

“Hey guys! Isn’t the weather great today?” Kun chirped, rising quickly from his bench.

“You finally got your review back on your lecture?” you guessed.

“And I did great!”

“We told you so,” Yuta replied.

“It’s just great to finally have it in writing.” You three started into the main building, and after Kun and you waved goodbye to Yuta, you continued the walk to stats class. “So, are you two dating?” you were taken aback. You and Yuta didn’t show much affection in public, so how could Kun have possibly guessed anything?

“I… what? No,” you flubbed, feeling embarrassed by your complete lack of any discreteness.

“The way you guys look at each other makes it so obvious. Like geez, get a room,” he laughed before you shoved his shoulder.

“We do not look at each other like that, and we’re not like, technically dating,” you frowned at the last part. You knew you were the one you suggested not placing a label yet, but dammit if it didn’t suck to not have one when you really wanted one.

“I’m just saying you guys should- that is if your Dad doesn’t kill him,” now it was your turn to laugh at Kun.

“Yeah, I don’t think my Dad could kill him.”

Sicheng wasn’t there today, oddly enough. Class went as normal, and your international studies class was okay in its own right.

Yuta and Johnny had helped you check the classrooms for the night. Johnny was hanging on to Mark’s warden badge, he kept it clipped right below his night student ID.

“Do you think your Dad could make me a copy of this? It gets me into the snack room in his office,” Johnny flicked the badge as you started towards your night class.

“How would that conversation even go? ‘Mr. President, I would like to be a warden too… just for the snacks though’,” Yuta teased. You three entered the lecture hall, moving to your new spots together in the back where Ten sat waiting for you all- much to the dismay of the rest of the class who glared at you in disdain each day of the new change.

“How’s Mark?” you asked Ten as soon as you sat down.

“He’s good, excited that he’ll be discharged soon. Before I left, the nurses began the holy water treatment,” he explained.

“That’s good,” you replied. It was like Jaemin had said- he was going to be alright. The psychic kept crawling his way into your mind at random turns, his ominous words finding a way to ruin random moments of your week. Though, of the few things he had said, you were glad to know that this was something he was right about.

“All right class, let’s get started! Remember that your final paper’s due date is steadily approaching; now let’s continue with our discussion of the faerie treaties,” your professor started his lecture now. You took notes throughout the class, and after parting ways, you started back outside to do your rounds of the perimeter.

“So Mark’s doing good?” a voice asked you from below as you stood outside of the main building. You didn’t even flinch, looking down at the cat.

“Yeah,” was all you replied, starting back down the perimeter as they followed closely behind you.

“So have you guessed who I am?” They asked.

You shrugged, “does it really matter?”

“I supposed not, but I know you are very curious,” they noted.

“I’m getting tired of everyone seeming to know more about me than I do of them,” you groaned.

“Well, to be fair, Jaemin can see the future,” they replied, stopping you in your tracks.

“You’re bound to Jaemin.”

“So you pieced that together- it seems this path is the one you’re going down after all,” the cat licked its paw, wiping off whatever dirt accumulated there. “We’ll be seeing you very soon,” it replied before turning and scampering off into the forest, leaving you alone again with your thoughts.

“I hate this school,” you muttered to yourself before starting back on your perimeter checks. You sat at your normal bench in front of the building afterwards, spacing out until Yuta sat next to you, trying to get your attention.

“Oh, hey! How was class?”

“Doesn’t matter, I want to show you something,” the vampire carefully took one of your wrists in his, guiding you out of the main building's courtyard and towards the forest.

The forest on campus had multiple clearings in it that were most often used by students for sports or lounging, this was noted as you walked past several volleyball set ups and kickball fields.

“You’re not taking me out here to kill me are you?” you joked, holding his hand now. The night air was chilly, so being so close to Yuta’s cold self was sending chills up your spine for more reasons than one. He glanced over his shoulder and winked before you made it into another empty clearing.

“I figured since we can’t really go off campus for a first date, this could be the next best thing,” his voice was soft now, taking in your widened eyes as you looked over everything. He laid out a blanket with a sprawl of different snacks and drinks as well as a book (although, you still weren’t close enough to see what it was), and in the corner, was a full telescope pointing up towards the night sky.

“I don’t know what to say,” you felt so touched. Between him having set up dinner for you the other night and now this? You moved forward and wrapped your arms around him, embracing him tightly.

“I guess that means you like it,” he hummed, hugging you back. You two moved forward and sat down, allowing you to get a better look at the spread.

“What’s this?” The book was a children’s book you hadn’t seen before. Using watercolor, the cover was of a small vampire, with the words The Little Vampire That Could placed neatly at the top.

“Well, you’re always letting me look through the books you read growing up, I thought maybe you’d want to see some of the ones I read growing up?” he sounded shy, as if he was embarrassed by the idea of it. You couldn’t stop the smile that spread on your face then as you stroked the cover of the book, imagining a small Yuta flipping through the pages of it.

“I would love to see more of the books you read, including this one,” you picked it up, admiring the cover art in the dim lighting offered by the small camping lamp combined with the moonlight. Glancing up, you looked at him closely in the lighting. No matter how many times you saw him or how close you were, he still took your breath away with how beautiful he was.

“Everything okay?” he asked, his eyes staring back at you now. You looked away, embarrassed.

“Sorry, you’re just… really beautiful,” you admitted, hoping the dim lighting made it harder to see the blush on your cheek; although, he could most certainly hear your heart pounding in your chest.

“Comes with the territory,” he leaned back onto his elbows now, smirking at you. You rolled your eyes, smirking back. You two sat for a bit then- you eating between words and Yuta watching as you did with a smile on his face. It was nice to be able to sit down and forget the chaos going on around you two, even if it was only for a few hours.

“You know, I have a question- not for personal use I promise,” you quickly clarified. He raised an eyebrow, gesturing for you to continue. “I remember Ten telling me that most vampires around were born into y’know… vampirism. He did mention there is a small amount that are turned, but that they don’t live for long. Why?” Yuta thought of your question, biting down on his lip as he did.

“So, to turn a born human into a vampire is pretty frowned upon. To turn them you have to drink their blood and then you have to give them some of yours before… ending their life,” he chose those last words carefully. “Even then, those that are turned, well, most vampiric stereotypes come from them. They burn in the sun, can’t eat garlic, won’t show up in mirrors, have to be invited into houses. As such, they tend to just die soon after being born,” he explained, looking at the clearing more than at you.

“Sounds miserable.”

“That’s one way to put it.”

“So, if you bite another person, they can’t turn unless they consume your own blood and then are killed?” you clarified, watching him closely. He squinted at you now, as if trying to analyze your expression.

“Yeah, to be fair though most would have a hard time trying to stop before draining the person… the uh… pleasure derived from it- for both parties- makes it a struggle to stop,” he pointed out, his now blown out pupils making it difficult to see the pink bands that slowly started to appear on his irises. For both parties.

You gulped slightly, trying to calm yourself down before pressing further. “Would you struggle?”

He turned his face away from you, covering his mouth now. Even turned, you could see the pink having overtaken his irises, leaving no remnants of his natural eye color as he kept himself looking away from you.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry I asked,” you wanted to berate yourself. Why would you ask him that so boldly? Why would you even… want that? He looked back at you now, still covering his mouth but allowing you to fully look at his eyes and blushing blue cheeks.

He looked down now, a hand still hovering over his mouth before he spoke again, “I can’t hurt you.” His voice was strained, cracking as he spoke.

“You wouldn’t,” you sounded confident, because you were confident in him. The hand covering his mouth stuttered before he slowly moved it, his eyes darting away from you in embarrassment as they did. His fangs which were already fairly large seemed larger now, peeking out of his mouth despite it being shut closed, drops of saliva coming out from them.

“Whenever I get… fully triggered by certain… emotions… this happens,” his voice was soft, afraid of your reaction it seemed. You slowly leaned forward, gauging his reaction before dropping a small kiss on his cheek, then moving your hand to caress his face. He moved his own hand to gently grip your wrist, still squinting as he analyzed you.

“Why are they pink and not red?” He pursed his lips at this question, his chest unmoving now.

“Red is more based on when we’re hungry, but pink is…” his voice trailed off, trying to find the right words to express himself. “I don’t want to sound crude,” he sighed, shutting his eyes tightly.

“I’ve only seen yours as pink. I’ve never seen Ten’s eyes be pink,” you pointed.

“Yeah I’d kill him if he looked at you with pink eyes,” he huffed. “It’s… when we feel a strong attraction towards someone,” he finally explained, your own cheeks now burning up as it finally processed.

“Oh,” was all you could say. He looked down, letting go of your wrist now as if he was ashamed to admit it. You looked up, hoping the cool night air could calm your nerves and cool your cheeks; staring up at the night sky you were reminded of how small you were. There wasn’t as much light pollution here, making it easier to see them. “Do you still want to look at the stars?”

***

Yuta’s fangs and eyes had returned to their normal state soon after you both began looking through the telescope.

“So do most mythic kids not interact with normal human books or media?” you asked, holding the children’s book closely to your chest, Yuta holding the basket in one hand the telescope slung over his back.

“Some do. It depends on their families. Ten grew up watching the Disney Channel and Johnny played on a human baseball team for a bit.”

“Johnny was on a baseball team?”

“Yeah, he was pretty good I think.”

“Makes sense. So, your parents…?”

“Since my brother was supposed to be the king, and my parents are… old fashioned, they didn’t think it was appropriate for him to interact so much with human media. So, for a bit when I was younger, I was allowed to at least watch some human TV shows, but after he died… that wasn’t really on the table for me,” he huffed, his shoulders dropping now. You reached out and grabbed his free hand, rubbing his hand with your thumb to comfort him. By no means was he obligated to have to consume any sort of human media, but it was that he wasn’t allowed to despite wanting to that really stung.

“Did you have a favorite?”

“Hm,” he hummed a bit to himself, seemingly thinking over the question as you entered your dorm. “I liked that ‘Bear in the big blue house’ show a lot. The music was fun.”

“It was pretty fun,” you were unlocking your studio now, waving at some of your passing residents who seemed to be heading back to their dorms after a very late night of studying. Yuta followed in behind you, putting away the food into the cabinets he utilized for the picnic that you didn’t end up eating.

“Ten and Johnny are back in the dorm?” you asked now, holding back your disappointment.

“Yeah, I’ll be out of your hair soon, too,” he smiled at you now, having shut the cabinets behind him.

“Do… you want to leave?” you asked, leaning back slightly onto the arm of your couch. He moved closer to you now, the telescope still hanging over his shoulder.

“You know I don’t,” he replied dryly, his eye color fading between their natural brown to their pink state.

“Then stay,” you whispered, painfully aware of the small distance between your lips and his. His lips that you had been craving since that brief encounter weeks ago- lips that you wanted to feel on every part of you now.

His hands now cradled your face, your breaths gracing each other.

“Are you sure?” your breath hitched as he spoke. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead, your heart pounding against your chest now.

“Yes,” you choked out, your voice incredibly shaky as you reached up to hold his hands in yours. Hesitating, he allowed his eyes to be enveloped into their pink hue, his fangs fully extending as they did earlier.

“Good.”

*** You elevated your leg onto your toilet, your hands doing their best to bring the bandage wrap around your upper thigh. You had cleaned it up already and wanted it wrapped as soon as possible to get rid of the stinging feeling that kept raging from Yuta’s fang marks. The bleeding had stopped a bit ago after smearing across Yuta’s face, your thighs, and staining your bed sheets. The sheets were going to be difficult to clean in the communal laundry room. Yet, as you glanced out of your bathroom to see Yuta’s sprawled nude figure on your bed, your heart raced again and eliminated any bit of irritation you felt.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he called for the fourth time, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. You turned your attention back to your bandages, hoping to hide the blush that would not leave your cheeks.

“Yuta, I promise you I’m okay.” You bit down on the bandage wrap, tearing it from the roll with your teeth and finally securing the wrap in place. Of course he was concerned. You loved that he cared about you, but you also didn’t want him to have to constantly be fretting over you. You were a human, yes, but you wanted him in every capacity. You glanced back at him, overwhelmed by the fact that he was here. A being as perfect as him was laying on your bed and watching you closely as if you were the most important person in the world to him- and for the few hours before, he certainly made you feel as if you were the only person in the world.

“Good, I hope that heals quickly,” he felt guilty. You moved forward towards him, actively trying to not put too much weight on your left thigh so as to not strain it.

“I’m a big girl, I’ll be okay.”

“Okay, fine,” he sighed in defeat. The sunrise began poking through your curtain, signaling Yuta’s soon departure for the day.

“Are you still checking classrooms with me today?” you asked as he sat up, moving to get off the bed.

“Any extra time I can spend with you, I will gladly take,” he kissed your forehead. You blinked, and he was dressed again in front of you now. “Can I do something?”

“What?” you raised your eyebrow at him.

“Can I call you my girlfriend?” you mulled over his question. You remembered Doyoung’s threats, Ten’s fear, and Mark’s warnings. You also remembered the moments you’ve spent with Yuta, how you’ve loved every second with him and the intimacy you two have shared.

“Only if I can call you my boyfriend,” you poked, letting your inhibitions go.

He dropped a small kiss on your lips before replying again, “nothing would make me happier.”

Yuta left from the window, leaving you for the first time in days alone in your studio. You spent the time cleaning up your space, changing out your sheets, and catching up on some assignments all while your brain swam in glee over the vampire who you could finally call yours. Going to bed at around seven in the morning, you finally had a dreamless, blissful sleep.

You had a full schedule today. You woke up earlier than you usually would in hopes of meeting Jungwoo and Mark in the library to get some work in before class. You were lacing up your boots when your phone started ringing from across the room, forcing you to unevenly hobble to your nightstand to grab it.

“Hey Dad!” you turned your phone’s speaker on, hobbling back to where your other boot was so you could finish getting dressed.

“Hi Y/N,” his voice sounded blank, none of his normal excitement or any of the names he normally calls you when he speaks with you.

“Everything okay? You sound like someone pooped in your cereal.” Maybe if you joke, it would make his tone less serious. All he did was force a chuckle that sounded as if it was coming from his very dry throat.

“All’s good. Listen, I need you to make your way to my office as soon as possible.” You only ever heard your Dad’s serious tone when he was working, and even then with his own employees he treated them as close to family as possible. There was a sick feeling in your chest now, your stomach twisting into knots.

“I’ll be there in ten,” you hung up, not wanting to force your Dad to have to speak anymore. With shaking fingers, you clumsily tied your laces. Wearing loose fitting pants so as to not agitate your pierced thigh, you moved quickly from your studio to out of your building.

Your father was one of the toughest people you knew. Kind, yes, but he was always prepared to defend his family to the ends of the earth-  him being afraid was not something you knew your father to be. Furthermore, for him to be afraid and call you… it was something worth stressing over. A lump was forming in your throat already as you walked the main path towards the main building, your hands absentmindedly shoving through your bag for your bo staff. Doing your best, you slid it into the side pocket of your coat. If it wasn’t something your father could handle, it was more than likely not something you could; yet, there was no way you would not try.

You shoved your way through the business and administrative wing until you reached the office of the president. Reaching for the door, it stuttered. You pounded your fist on the door, earning a few glares from some onlookers as you continued to slam the locked door until it finally opened. Taeyeon looked at you, her usually soft eyes filled with dread as she let you into the small lobby before your father’s office.

Normally, during the day student sessions, the office was bustling. Now, it was a ghost town with just you, Taeyeon, and oddly enough your father, who stood outside of his own office.

“Dad? What’s going on?” you walked quickly to him where he quickly met you halfway and wrapped you in a hug, his breath shaking.

“Sweetheart, I love you. Please be careful, and bite your tongue,” he whispered the last part so low it hardly registered. He quickly turned, a bright smile forced on his face as he guided you slowly to his office, opening the door to his office. She was a tall figure, her back to you as she stood directly behind your father’s desk, staring diligently at the family portrait he had looming over his shoulder.

“My,” she turned around now, your heart stopping. “You seem to have aged very well.” You had hardly registered her sitting next to Yuta at the council meeting weeks ago, your brain then so overwhelmed by the entire group of mythics that was staring you down. You knew her immediately now, though. She dressed more ‘simple’ compared to the lavish adornments worn in the council meeting- a long, plain, black dress that emphasized a long silhouette, a black fur shrug jacket, black sunglasses, and a black sun hat. She had his face shape, but the aura you felt from her was vastly different from his.

“Misses Nakamoto, while you briefly met my daughter at the council meeting, allow me to formally introduce you both,” your Dad’s voice was loud now, forcing a tone of authority. Uncomfortable and confused, you went to force a bow before you saw her hand raise, stopping you.

“Oh please, no need for such formalities,” she smiled, removing her sunglasses and allowing you to take in her full beauty. She was inhumanely beautiful, as to be expected, but it didn’t make you feel any more calm; no, it made your stomach clench more. “However, I would like a word alone with your lovely daughter- if that’s all right?” You knew it wasn’t a question, that there wasn’t much of a choice if at all, and if you knew this, your father had known this since he called you earlier.

“Of course,” he forced a smile, and shared a look with you before stepping out of his office and shutting the door behind him. You felt your mind being read and knew Taeyeon was monitoring from the outside to ensure your safety.

“It’s nice to meet you,” you cheered, smiling as best as you could and folding your hands in front of you.

“Yes, I’m sure. How have you been liking your night classes?” she asked, now wandering your father’s office and looking closely at all the small artifacts he had throughout the room.

“They’re interesting, although finals coming up has made it stressful,” you forced a chuckle and she smirked at you, her hand now gracing over a framed photo your father had of you all together at your high school graduation.

“Would you say you’re going to continue your families… traditions?” she gestured to the office, still not looking at you and looking at the graduation photo.

“Of maintaining the University? Mark is probably better suited than I am,” you replied blankly, now confused as to what exactly she wanted from you.

“Now, you and I both know that’s not true,” she clicked her tongue, moving away from the photo and towards the book case you stood next to. “I’m sure you understand the importance of selecting the best person for a job.” You gulped at this statement, nodding despite being unsure of her intent. “My oldest was better suited to be King.”

Bite your tongue. Your father’s words came back to you in a rush as you clenched your jaw, holding yourself back as you stared blankly at Yuta’s mother.

“Yuta is kind, loving, and… painfully curious about humans,” she looked at you up and down as she spoke, as if this was your doing. “Nonetheless, it is he who will be ruling us soon enough, and as such, it is important that he projects a stronger image in every facet of his life- a leader who is too kind will get stepped all over.”

Her hands passed through the bookshelf as if looking for a certain title, clicking her tongue in disappointment as she seemed to not find it. Turning away, she now stood in front of you, allowing her to fully take you in visually.

“As such, it is important to maintain order and peace as a leader. Therefore, it is imperative that he is with someone whom the entire council approves of,” the pit fell in your stomach.

“That’s silly,” it slipped out, the first words you really had in the whole exchange, and it was that. She looked taken aback for a moment, and you were sure you were screwed, until she started chuckling.

“At least you’re adorable,” it was condescending, and you furrowed your eyebrows now.

“Your son is a grown adult, he is fully capable of making his own decisions,” you spoke carefully, doing your best to sound respectful despite how irritated you felt.

She smiled again before loudly speaking, “it was so lovely meeting you!” About to brush past you she stopped, her mouth now right next to your ear. “Him drinking from you does not make you special. You were just easy prey for him to enjoy for a night.” You looked sharply at her, not hiding your surprise as she glared at your covered thigh. Clicking her tongue again she left the office, waving goodbye to your father before leaving for good.

You were shaking now, anger, embarrassment, and sadness welling inside your chest and threatening to blow.

“Sweetheart?” your father’s voice bounced against your eardrums, your brain spinning as you still felt Taeyeon rifling through it despite Yuta’s mother being well gone by now.

“Please leave me alone for five minutes- and Taeyeon, get out of my goddamn head!” you instantly felt bad, but she also let go as once she heard you, your mind being at peace again.

“Take your time, I’m here for you,” he whispered, the door shutting and locking. You were breathing heavily, wrapping your arms around yourself in an attempt to calm down but failing miserably. Crouching down, the tears you didn’t know were rushing down your face were hitting and staining the wood after blurring your vision. You had fallen for Yuta, much to the world’s dismay it seems.

You were just easy prey for him.

“No no no,” you sobbed to yourself, frantically wiping the tears from your face in an attempt to stifle them. You shut your eyes, wiping at your face. You counted down from five, trying to ground yourself.

“Five… four… three… two… one,” you opened your eyes then, seeing yourself surrounded by blue flames now. Your eyes widened, the fear shutting your throat immediately. You were entirely engulfed in the blue flames like the ones Mark said had burnt him when the demon disappeared. You looked down to your hands, then the rest of your body; you were perfectly intact.

Looking forward again, your vision still tinted blue by the flames, you gasped. Before you was that memory- the memory that would not stop haunting your dreams. Still looking through the eyes of your young self, she finally turned around and laid eyes on what was behind her.

A building engulfed in blue flames, and standing before you, shrouded in shadows, was a familiar figure. You knew who it was, but your brain was struggling to even connect it. They looked so irritated- not by the fire behind them, but by you.

“What makes you so special?” they spoke, the voice making it click in your brain.

Then the flames were gone, you were alone in a painfully warm room and your face finally dried from tears. You got up and slowly made your way to the door.

“Dad,” you said, your voice surprisingly calm as you spoke now.

“Sweetie,” he went to hug you before you stepped back, taking him by surprise by your own lack of affection.

“Dad… why is the blue night called the blue night?” you asked. When you had exorcized demons previously, they simply vanished into thin air. Yet, when confronted by Mark, they burst into the blue flames that scarred him. The same blue flames like the ones from your memory, and the ones that just now engulfed you. Your father gulped, his Adam's apple shaking as he struggled to find the words.

“The strongest leaders of the Vatican thought it best to gather all of the possessed mythics into one building. A ‘mass exorcizing’ is what they planned to do. Locking just themselves and the mythics into the building, when they began to perform the exercise… the mythics burst into flames. It set everything and everyone in the building on fire. Only a few survived, barely,” he lifted the sleeve of his coat, revealing part of a burn scar.

“Oh my god,” you whispered. It was older, wrapped in new skin overtime, but it was severe enough to discolor his flesh.

“When we made it out, you were just… there. Outside, in the snow, petrified. I’m… sorry I never told you the whole truth,” his voice cracked then. You reached forward, embracing your father.

“It’s okay Dad,” you held back your own tears. You patted his back gently before separating. “I have to see someone, but I promise I’m okay.” You were forcing your smile.

“Yuta?” he asked, distressed in his tone. You shook your head immediately.

“No, someone who’s been waiting for me,” you started out then, waving at a shocked Taeyeon as you started out of your father’s office towards the library.

***

“So I see you’ve gained your powers. I believe congratulations are owed,” he smiled, flipping through the school newspaper. The library was more full than you would have liked, yet Jaemin had managed to acquire your favorite spot- a booth towards the back of the library away from people with a full view of a large part of campus. Furrowing your eyebrows, determined, you sat across from him.

“I didn’t get any powers. I got-,” you lowered your voice now, “set ablaze by blue flames.”

“Yes, your powers.” He still wasn’t looking up.

“What powers?”

“The powers that belong to you.”

Your eye twitched in annoyance before reaching across the table and yanking the paper from him, crumbling it up to whiz it past his face and hit the wall next to his ear.

“I knew you’d do that,” he sighed, looking at you now and folding his hands together.

“Why didn’t I burn?”

“Blue flames, my dear friend, are a sign of Satan. There are only two beings that can not burn from Satan’s flame- demons, and Satan himself,” you stared back at the psychic blankly, your stomach tightening.

“I’m not a demon,” your jaw was clenched now as you spoke.

Jaemin laughed dryly before leaning forward, “so, what does that leave you with?”

Your throat went dry, your chest feeling heavy as you processed Jaemin and your father’s words.

“I’m not Satan either,” you glared at him. “I am human. I… went to high school, I feel sad and happy, I… I’ve fallen for someone.” Your throat tightened and you looked down in shame.

“I wouldn’t say you’re technically Satan either,” he folded his hands over the other, leaning back in his seat.

“I thought you said you had answers,” you passed your fingers through your hair, feeling defeated.

“You know you’re not exactly human, and you have powers.”

“Why?”

“What?” he looked surprised again as he did that time he met you on the path outside of the night dorm.

“Why are you trying to help me? What do you have to gain?” He may have been following your future for god knows how long, but he doesn’t know you as a person. There was no reason you could understand as to why he would want to help you. His eye turned white.

“There’s this… thing my family has been in charge of protecting. I’m hoping by following through, we have a better world in the end, and that I have a friend,” he smiled, his eye going back to brown.

“Don’t hold your breath on the friend part,” you groaned, earning a chuckle from Jaemin.

“You’ll be able to control your flames, and your wings will come in shortly after,” he spoke casually.

“Wings?” you repeated, your voice raising an octave higher than it should have.

“Yep.”

Looking at Jaemin, your mind scrambled for a moment. You had no idea who your biological parents were, you just so happened to pop up in the snow with someone who has not aged to be found by a burning building, and apparently, you were due to get your wings. What if… no. You felt silly. Was it even physically possible? You cleared your throat, looking at Jaemin and forcing a confidence you did not have.

“Jaemin,” you started, his expression blank now. “Am I Satan’s kid?”

***

You wanted to talk to Yuta. Jaemin hadn’t been much help and didn’t answer your question. After getting fed up, you left him in the library and headed back to the spot Yuta had taken you stargazing. During the day, the sun shone perfectly in the field. There were a few students tossing a frisbee, and towards the edge were a few benches that were open or had other students doing work. You had to get your mind off of the nightmare today had been, and needed to get a better grasp before speaking with the vampire.

You waved goodbye to Jungwoo after your biology class, and moved quickly to meet Yuta at your usual spot before checking classrooms. Fridays were typically not difficult- most students wanted to flee the campus for the weekend, which made your next plan of action feel less dangerous.

“Hey, we need to talk,” you spoke quickly, brushing past him and opening the closest classroom. He raised an eyebrow, confused.

“Is everything okay? Are you hurt?” he reached his hands out, shame building on his face as he glanced down at your thigh again.

“Yes, I promise I’m fine. For the record… that… was great,” you widen your eyes to emphasize what you said. “But, this isn’t about that.”

He was confused again, leaning on one of the chairs now as he stared at you with a puzzled look.

“I got a visit today,” you lowered your voice, hoping none of the elves would be able to hear your conversation. He moved forward, taking you by surprise as he held your shoulders and pressed his nose to your neck, as if taking in your scent. His hands clenched after a moment before he moved back.

“My Mom visited you?” he sounded afraid, as if he was hoping his keen sense of smell was wrong. You nodded, and he brushed his fingers through his hair, frustrated.

“Well, really she paid my father a visit. She showed up at his office, forced him to call me in, and then made him stand outside as she so gently told me that the council does not approve of the prince dating a human,” your voice was still low, but it was difficult to conceal the irritation you felt. Afraid of blowing up into flames again, you tried to keep your breathing even.

“She did what?” Unlike your hushed voice, Yuta had nearly shouted this, his voice echoing throughout the classroom as his eyes turned into a blood red you had mostly only seen on Ten. You hadn’t seen Yuta angry before- sad, yes, but anger was not an emotion he chose to express. Seeing him now, with his fists curled and eyes as red as blood, shocked you so much that your hand flinched.

“How does she even know about me?” you knew the answer, but wanted to see if he did too. His jaw clenched and he looked outside towards the door.

“Fucking Doyoung. Whatever, ignore her. The council and their opinion doesn’t matter.”

“They’re the council, I think their opinion is one of the ones that does.”

“I’m the goddamn prince and I am choosing to be with you.”

Then, his lips were on yours, surprising you by the urgency you felt as he did so. Normally when you kissed, Yuta was incredibly soft and gentle- constantly afraid of hurting you. Yet, as you kissed now, it was as if you were being taken away and he was fighting to keep you here. He pulled back just as quickly as he had first kissed you, wrapping you in his embrace.

“I’m so sorry that she did that to you and your father. Did she say anything else?” you bit your lip at his question, thankful to be burying your head in his chest so he couldn’t see you.

“No,” you fibbed, your brain still ringing with her biting words. You were just easy prey for him to enjoy for a night. It wasn’t true and you knew it. Yuta’s anger was affirmation of that. Yet, they still hurt to hear. Being called a slut was one thing, but being called prey… you were not a weak little doe waiting to be picked off by a lion.

“I’ll be speaking with my Mother after class, then. She needs to not butt her nose in things that don’t involve her.”

“Yuta…”

“No, she has controlled my life for far too long. I was willing to take it before but,” he lifted your head with his hand sitting under your chin, “having you in my life is worth me having to deal with my mother’s wrath.”

“Yuta… thank you,” you smiled. You kissed his nose, and he smiled back at the affection.

You headed out of the classroom hand in hand now, walking over to meet Mark and Johnny who were finishing their classroom checks.

“Anything?” Mark called, meeting you in the center of the main building.

“Nope. You guys?” you lied.

“Nothing on our end, let’s check the business hall then,” Mark instructed. The center hallway was always relatively quicker to check, and afterwards the four of you finally entered your lecture hall for the night.

Tonight, more than any other night, everyone in the hall looked at you with a piercing gaze. You gulped. You saw Chaein, a look of fear striking her face before she turned away from you. Turning back, you all made your way to your seat, everyone turning away as soon as Yuta sat down and could finally see everyone. Your Modern Mythic Religion Professor entered shortly thereafter, reminding everyone of the final exam coming up soon.

“Please be multiple choice,” Ten muttered, leaning back in his lecture seat.

“Heard that Ten- it’s going to be multiple choice and short essay questions,” the professor called, earning a small chuckle from you and a few other students. “Now, let’s get started on our final unit- The Sect of Satan.” A mixed reaction went through the room- a few groans and a few whoops- more reactions than you had seen in reference to any of the religions previously discussed. You squeezed your pen, calming your heart rate as you looked onto the class of your peers.

“Sir, is this really necessary?” someone called. It was Doyoung who stood up.

“It’s my course, and considering about half of you fall under the Sect, I don’t see why not.”

“He is right though- why should we have to learn more about it?” someone else spoke. You recognized his voice as soon as he did.

“Who’s that?” you leaned over to Ten, gesturing to the boy in the corner who had just spoken.

“Hendery,” Ten whispered back.

“He’s a shifter?”

“Yeah, how do you know?”

“Just a guess,” you replied.

“If any of you speak up again I am going to rip your throats out, now sit down,” your professor bellowed, earning a sigh from the two as they sat back down. You wrote down nearly every word of the lecture, not wanting to miss a beat of information that could most definitely be of use to you.

“Hey, wanna hang out with me a little bit?” Mark asked once class ended.

“Sure,” it was Mark’s official first time back in his warden duties, and he got stuck with the Friday night shift.

“I’ll be by later tonight than usual,” Yuta told you before leaving the hall and heading to his next class. Right, he was going to speak to his mother. Your stomach turned at the thought.

“How are you doing?” you asked Mark after he dropped his bag off in your Dad’s office and headed outside.

“Honestly, I feel brand new,” he admitted, stretching his arms as you two walked. “I just hate knowing that the demons are wandering.”

“I know, I wish we could do something about it,” you groaned. You knew you could exorcize them, and the thought of someone getting hurt like Mark and your father did made you feel awful. Plus, maybe being around them more could give you more answers. “Oh my gosh there is something we can do about it!” You cheered, shaking Mark’s shoulders.

“Woah sis, what is it?” Mark was confused, but was still smiling watching you be excited.

“We should go patrol for demons! I’m sure the Vatican can’t get them all, and it’s our way of being able to take action y’know, as wardens.”

“Do you really think we could handle that?” he looked worried now, squeezing your shoulder.

“I know we could, and, hey! I’m sure we wouldn’t be alone. I think Yuta and Ten would want to help- Johnny too,” you felt confident for the first time in a while. It was one thing trying to figure out your own heritage and having to put out fires wherever they came out, but being able to possibly take control? You were eager to leap at the opportunity. Mark, on the other hand, seemed far more anxious than you did.

“I won’t let anything happen to you again- I think Dad would kill me,” you promised. You lifted your hand, extending your pinky finger to his eye level. He rolled his eyes, but lifted his own to meet yours, wrapping them together quickly.

“Meet at Dad’s office after my shift? Let Yuta and Ten know, I’ll text Johnny.”

“Sounds good, I’m gonna head out now. I have a ton of studying to do,” you rubbed your forehead thinking of the mountain of memorizing and papers you had to do. Waving goodbye  to your brother, you started back to your dorm, not even looking down at the cat following closely behind you.

“So, why were you really so against the professor speaking about the Sect of Satan?” you asked, raising your eyebrow at the cat. It stopped in its tracks for a moment before shifting before your eyes into the guy you had seen earlier today. “Nice to formally meet you, Hendery.”

“Likewise,” he spoke, tucking his hands into his pockets.

“So, why has Jaemin forced you to only interact with me in cat form?”

“That was my idea, I figured it would make you easier to observe,” he followed in pace next to you now.

“Will either one of you tell me what exactly it is you’re trying to see?” you slowed your pace a bit, hoping to try and collect as much information as you could in the walk to your dorm.

“Well, you already have your powers. Jaemin hasn’t explained to me anything beyond you being something other than human.”

“Ah, so I see he’s kept the source of them to himself. Lucky me,” you tried to sound cheery, but it ended up just sounding bitter.

“From what he expressed, the Na Prophecy should commence soon,” Hendery spoke casually as if that was a phrase you would understand.

“Na Prophecy?” your voice raised higher than normal as you repeated his words. It was Hendery’s turn to raise his eyebrow at you.

“So he hasn’t explained that to you? That’s strange, it must not be relevant yet,” he sighed. You squinted your eyes at the shifter.

“You're bound to Jaemin, but Johnny’s bound to Ten and Yuta but he doesn’t… behave like how you do with them,” you noted. Hendery was more of a servant to Jaemin than anything else, someone for him to speak with whereas Johnny was Yuta and Ten’s friend as well as confidante.

“Every family is different with who they're bound to. Plus, Johnny was never meant to assist in anything anyways- he’s far too skeptical of everything to not ask a million questions,” he chuckled to himself, as if laughing at an inside joke.

“How strange. Just when I think I’m starting to understand mythics, there’s something new.”

“From my understanding, this is more your world now than the human one,” Hendery stated this as a matter of fact. You thought back to the flames that surrounded you that didn’t singe your flesh. He was right, much to your dismay.

“Well, this is where I go. It was nice to actually speak with you, Hendery- it was better than how it usually goes when I speak with Jaemin.”

“He doesn’t make it easy, but you’ll like him soon enough,” Hendery winked at you, before turning on his heel and skipping back towards the forest. Headed back into your dorm, you quickly shot a text to Ten to meet at your Dad’s office after class, and Yuta that would have to catch up on the small meeting after his confrontation with his mother.

Afterwards, you were able to fully sit down and immerse yourself in your homework for the first time in what felt like a while. Being able to fully bury yourself in numbers and definitions and pointless essays assisted in allowing you to feel like a normal person for the first time in what seems like months. Your grades were something you could always manage to control. You and Mark were nearly violent over achievers growing up- getting almost the same perfect grades while also being avidly involved in clubs and sports since middle school.

Joining clubs was how you two were able to meet Kun and Jungwoo. Wanting to join a more STEM centric club, you two decided to sign up for the young engineering club in your middle school when Kun was president. Jungwoo joined shortly after, since he was grounded and it was either joining young engineering or being without TV for two weeks. You wished you could have them meet your closest friends of the night, and after Kun and Jungwoo meeting Yuta, you had a small bit of hope it would work out. Plus, after seeing your memory and knowing who was there, you figured it could be fine.

It was nearing the end of Mark’s shift now. You grabbed your purse and ID to head back towards the main building.

“Hey, Y/N!” Chenle greeted you as you stepped out of your room.

“Oh, hi Chenle! How’s the finals prep going?”

“Going great! Jisung and I have been studying like crazy.”

“No, I’ve been studying like crazy. You’ve been playing PUBG,” Jisung snitched, turning into the hallway now and looking annoyed.

“Don’t overwork yourself Jisung, and… work more Chenle. I’ll see you guys later!” you waved at the pair, now fully headed to the main building.

You were the last one to arrive in your Dad’s office. Ten was perched in the corner when you entered, looking out at the grounds through your Dad’s window. You turned to look for Mark and Johnny and blinked quickly in surprise. Johnny was one of the few faeries to not stretch his wings out even during night classes, so it was a rare sight to see them out as they were now in your father’s office. He had taken off his sweater, now wearing a tank top with two holes slashed in the back, allowing for his purple wings to be extended and rest. Mark was seated on the couch, as if it wasn’t something new for Johnny to have his wings out, and was tossing a rolled up ball of paper.

“Yuta’s busy so I’ll just fill him in later,” you announced as you sat down on your Dad’s desk.

“He rushed out of our last class today,” Ten noted, moving quickly to sit on your father’s rolling chair.

“I can imagine. Anyways, Mark and I were talking and we-.”

“You,” Mark interjected.

“We came up with an idea. We were thinking of patrolling the town at different times to see if there’s any demons to help exorcize them,” you weren’t sure what reaction you were expecting. Johnny’s wings moved from resting to gently flapping now, as if his brain was working to figure out the pros and cons of what you stated.

“So you want to form a ragtag team of demon slayers composed of two vampires, two humans, and a faerie?” Ten clarified, spinning now in the chair.

“Yes, it sounds that way,” Johnny standing up now, looking around the room.

“I think it’s a good idea, it’ll keep me busy,” Ten stood up then, patting your shoulder in support. “Good idea.”

“I think it’s smart. It gives Mark a chance to better learn to defend himself, and allows us to take an offensive stance, when do we start?” Johnny grabbed his sweater which he realized sat perched on the couch.

“Sunday?” Mark finally sat up now, tossing a paper into the trash can.

“The lord’s day? Sounds wicked, let’s do it,” Ten laughed. Locking up behind you, the four of you started out from the main building, Mark and you waving goodbye to your friends once they started towards their own dorms.

“So, where is Yuta going?” Mark asked once you were alone. You sighed, an anxious feeling growing in your chest as you thought about Yuta confronting his mother.

“Yuta’s telling his Mom off.”

“Why?”

“Because she barged into Dad’s office to tell me to stop dating her son.”

“Oh wow, that’s… bold to say the least,” Mark pushed up his glasses. “I’m glad he went as soon as he could to defend you. You deserve someone willing to do that.”

“Thanks,” you shoved his arm slightly, speaking with him casually until you made it to your floor, waving goodbye.

You sat in your studio for what felt like forever. You did as much work as you could and double checked the lock on your window a dozen times to make sure it was unlocked. After about two hours went by, you went to take a shower, hoping that he would be back after you finished. He wasn’t. You sighed in frustration, checking your phone for the time to see a message from your group chat with Mark, Kun, and Jungwoo. Mark had sent a meme he found earlier, and Jungwoo had replied to it no less than five minutes ago. He usually wasn’t awake at this time.

Before you knew it, you were calling his phone, pacing the room furiously.

“Hello?”

“Jungwoo! When did we first meet Sicheng?”

“It’s almost four in the morning and that’s what you have to ask me?” he yawned.

“Yes, now enlighten me.”

“Hm… well he transferred in Junior year. Now that you ask me though, I’m thinking and it’s sort of hard to tell- it’s like his face has not changed… although I am delirious at this point,” he yawned again.

Jungwoo wasn’t delirious- Sicheng’s face hadn’t changed at all. Not from Junior year, and not from when you first saw him all those years ago in the snow, hovering over you.

“Ah okay, Mark was swearing it was our freshman year,” you lied. Then, you felt something cold on your shoulder, causing you to jump and frantically turn to see Yuta’s smiling face. You sighed in relief. “Good luck studying Jungwoo, and thanks again.” You hung up quickly, wrapping your arms around Yuta as soon as you did.

“How did it go?” you asked, your voice muffled as you buried your face in his shirt. He wrapped his arms back around you, squeezing you gently.

“It went as well as it was going to go. Her nor anyone else should be bothering you again,” he spoke, sounding more irritated than anything else. You pulled away from him slightly to study his expression.

“Who else did you speak with?”

“The person who first told her about you.”

“Doyoung. Would you have told your Mom about me at some point if he hadn’t?”

“Eventually. When are you gonna tell your Dad?”

“I think after earlier he’s probably pieced it together,” you scratched the back of your neck, realizing you hadn’t spoken to your father since the confrontation this morning. He buried his face in your neck then, holding you closely.

“You smell different,” he noted, your heart stopping. All the notes surrounding your smell, comments of it being slightly off from other humans, and Yuta noting that today after you were engulfed in flames, it was because your powers were expressing themselves- at least, that was your hypothesis.

“Oh, I got a new bath soap,” you fibbed, moving away. You still had to figure out not only these powers Jaemin spoke of, but also the possibility of who your birth parents were.

“You know, this was the first time I stood up to my parents,” Yuta confessed, sitting up now on your bed, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“Wait, first time ever?” you were a bit surprised. You loved your father, but even in your own angsty teenage years you most definitely got into several spats with him over things that didn’t matter. Pushing back on your curfew, the weird rules on dating, and even purposefully neglecting your training because you thought you were too good for it. Yet Yuta, who was going to be a leader, was too afraid to stand up to his parents until today. He nodded.

“Yeah, and I have you to thank for it. There was finally something- or rather, someone- worth fighting them for,” he smiled, melting your heart.

“Yuta, that’s so sweet, but I don’t want to be the reason there’s a rift in your family,” you admitted. You disagreed a lot with how his parents tried to micromanage the curiosity and life of their son, but the thought of being the reason they ceased to have a relationship didn’t make you feel great.

“The rift was always there, it was just about time to acknowledge it- and it felt great,” he sounded prideful. He had finally worked up the courage to stand up for himself, and you felt proud of him too. You sat next to him on the bed, leaning your head on his shoulder.

“I’m proud of you, Yuta.”

“Thank you, y/n.”

You two sat in a comfortable silence for a bit, taking in each other's presence and forgetting the world for a small moment until you decided to break it.

“I know it isn’t the safest idea,” you started, moving off his shoulder and earning a raised eyebrow. “Let’s go out on a date, tomorrow. Off campus. I’ll plan everything.”

“Well, according to the latest memo, mythics aren’t allowed off campus unless accompanied by elves, psychics, mind readers, or a warden.”

“Wait what? When did you get that?” you didn’t know that being a chaperone was a part of your job description now.

“Before class today, your Dad didn’t tell you?”

“He was a little preoccupied… Anyways, tomorrow afternoon?”

“I’d love nothing more,” he kissed your forehead, your cheeks tinging pink as soon as he did. Moving onto the couch and turning on the Tv, you sat together doing homework and occasionally stealing glances or small kisses as you did. Yuta was preparing a paper for his human literature course and was hoping to take the second part of the class next semester.

“I wish mythics could take some human classes too, I think if you like it, some other people might too,” you thought aloud as he glanced over your biology notes. He seemed thoughtful for a moment, as if weighing it in his head.

“That might be possible in the future, although I would definitely like to do that myself. Mark’s classes were really fun to attend.”

“You could maybe talk to my Dad about it and see, he might be willing to give it a try. Oh, also,” you explained to Yuta the meeting from earlier and the group’s plans to start patrolling the town during the week.

“As if I’d let my human girlfriend hunt demons without me, yeah I’m in,” you laughed at his response, but not for the reason he thought you did.

[mysterytickingnoise]

Someday

Pairing: Merlin x Reader

Genre: Bittersweet Angst

Word Count: 2,058

Summary: After getting caught and accused of doing witchcraft, and failing to prove your innocence to Uther, you have to take desperate measures to flea the kingdom. Unfortunately your escape plan works a little too well, and without your knowledge the people close to you end up mourning you.

Request from @joyismycenter : "If you’re asking, I’d love some bbc Merlin x reader where he though the reader was dead but she/they turn out not to be. Love me that happy angst"

Authors Note: Thank you so much for sending in the first request for this blog! Fair warning I'm doing all my writing on my phone at the moment and I couldn't really get the ending to flow how I wanted it to so it's not perfect, but I really hope everyone likes it!

[Image Description: A gif of Merlin (from the BBC Show Merlin played by Colin Morgan) looking over his shoulder. End description]

It was such a silly mistake.

You trusted someone too soon, tried to help them.

Next thing you knew you were being accused of witchcraft. It was true but considering your accuser had no real evidence you thought perhaps you could argue your way out of it. You called them crazy, demanded proof, spouted off any alternative explanation for what had happened to no avail. Uther didn't give a damn about proof, the moment the word magic was held against you it was up to you to prove you hadn't used it.

Even if you hadn't, how do you prove a thing like that?

Pleading your case was useless, and the one person who could help you had left with Arthur and the knights before any of this had begun. Even if they somehow showed up before the execution, you wouldn't want Merlin's help.

He couldn't be caught helping you, not with his destiny. You weren't worth the risk, though he certainly would've argued otherwise if he'd had the chance.

No, you only had one choice left in your small cell. You would have to find an opportunity to use something that you saved for a situation such as this. When an old friend came to visit, to say goodbye, that was your opportunity.

You asked them to come back with the blue vial tucked in the back of your armoire. "It's a poison," You had told them. "I don't want to give Uther the satisfaction."

Tearfully, they obliged. In the middle of the night you chugged it down, and not one hour later your 'body' was wrapped in a sheet and wheeled out of the dungeons 'To be buried in the morning.' But the enchantment on the potion wore off before then, and you woke up alone and free.

You crept out of Camelot at the break of dawn with nothing but the clothes on your back, making it to the treeline before your will broke down and you turned back to look at the old castle peeking out over the tall walls.

Your home was behind those walls, your friends lived there, and the man you had surely fallen for. Tears stung your eyes as you thought about him, the fact you never got to say goodbye, how long it would be until you would see him again.

You could risk waiting for him to return, but if someone outside of Arthur's party were to catch you...you would be forced to do something you'd regret. You'd have to cross the line of no return and goodbye at that point would surely be permanent.

'Someday,' You thought, 'Until then, he'll understand, he might even come find me.'

Little did you know the guard who discovered the empty cloth had no intention of telling the king that the body of a prisoner had gone missing on his watch. No, he had a family to tend to, he wasn't losing his position because of some witch. It didn't even cross his mind that you might not be dead.

There was an empty grave in the pauper's field the next morning, and any questions on your whereabouts were contained in the mind of one underpaid guardsman for two years.

Meanwhile, Merlin had been devastated when he heard the news, even confused. Gaius told him the whole story, what he knew of it anyway, but he could never wrap his mind around it. It didn't make sense. He had spoken to you only a few days before, you smiled and hugged him and told him to come home safe. And just like that you were gone? The irrational fear of someone you tried to help, and the blind tyranny of Uther, that's all it took and now nobody would ever see that smile again. No, it didn't make any sense at all.

He eventually did what he had to do, put on a brave face and got back to work. And yes, a while after that night things got somewhat close to normal again. But there were always moments where he'd think to himself that he'd have to tell you about his day or a joke he heard, and then he'd remember. In other moments, he'd see Uther laughing at dinner or be forced to hear one of his speeches and his jaw would clench just a little tighter than it had before. And when he found himself awake in the middle of the night, when the world was dead silent and the only light in his room came from the moon, it was because he had found himself caught up in the memories you had together.

You had those nights too.

You had been dead on your feet by the time you stumbled into the small, reclusive village you'd learn to call your home. You'd been told that nobody really ever passed through on purpose, and they liked it that way. You told them that you could use a life like that, and then asked if they had need a physician. They did.

Sure, a reclusive person probably would've loved the little life you built for yourself. You had a small but cozy spot to live on the edge of the village, not long after you showed up you began to tend to minor wounds and ailments, making a few friends along the way. Occasionally two farmers would ride into the city to barter off crops for supplies and other things, eventually they began to bring you back a book or a small trinket each time to thank you for your work. It was nice.

But still loneliness tugged at your heart, more than you imagined it would when you took that last look at your home. On the most random days, doing the most random things, you'd find yourself thinking about everyone again and crying for up to an hour before you could pull yourself together again. Those moments became more rare over time, but they never hurt any less. You were never quite back to normal.

Finally, you were wrapping a farmers broken finger, speaking about the state of the kingdom and how you were surprised Uther had felt the need to improve anything it all, when you heard the news.

"Oh, no. The king died months ago, Arthur's in charge now."

You knew you must've gone pale, as the next thing the man said to you was a question of your health. You were quick to respond with a growing smile, "Why didn't you say something earlier?"

He shrugged at you, "I'm not all that concerned with politics. These men, they're all the same to us out here, you know?"

But you knew the difference.

Your life depended on it.

You finished his treatment and sent him away without much else to say on the matter. You had to pack, after all. Later on that day you pleaded with a neighbor to let you borrow her horse, and your friends gathered around as they overheard you say you needed to go to the capitol. You honestly felt a bit bad leaving in such a rush, but after you relayed a safe version of your story, why you came here and why you had to leave, they all seemed to understand.

With many promises from you that they could send for you if they ever needed to, and many words of encouragement from them, you took off. Even when you stopped in the night to allow the horse some rest, you never got any yourself, too excited and nervous and overwhelmed all at once. You spent hours contemplating what to say to everyone, but nothing seemed right.

Another days journey, and you were home.

The response you got to your return wasn't what you expected. Your first stop was to check on the friend who got the potion to you in the first place, and strangely they let out a short shriek before slamming the door in your face. You knocked again, speaking through the door. "It's me...I'm back?"

"Go away!"

You furrowed your brow at them, hurt and confused. But ultimately you walked away, thinking a reaction like that might be deserved considering what you must've put them through that night. As you continued down the street there were a few people who recognized you and proceeded to clear out of your way with gasps and whispers, pulling along anyone they were walking with.

Last time you were here you had been accused of witchcraft, and two decades of fear don't just disappear with a new king, so you simply accepted that as the reasoning and started to make your way up through the lower towns.

On the other end of the city, Merlin had just reached the end of an extremely long day. It had dragged on so long that it felt as though the walk from the armoury to his room took another hour. He didn't even bother to get something to eat, he just wanted to sleep. So naturally when he had just layed down in bed when someone decided to knock on the front door, he didn't know any better than to be annoyed.

At first he thought Gaius would take care of it, then he remembered that he wasn't home.

Maybe they'll just go away.

Whoever it was knocked again and he pulled the pillow over his head.

Please go away.

The front door creaked open and he heard a familiar voice call out. "Hello...Gaius? Merlin?"

He sat up, a heavy feeling settling into his gut as he realized where he had heard that voice before.

But...it couldn't be. Could it?

He shook his head, leaving his bedroom to shoo out the person who couldn't have been you.

But there you were, flipping through an old book that had been sitting on the table since the day before. When you noticed he was standing there you looked up with a sad smile, saying the only thing that you could think of; "Hi..."

"Hi?"

"I uh- I know it's been a long time," You started, crossing your arms over your chest in an awkward stance. "I wish I didn't have to leave like I did but..."

"Leave??" He repeated what you said once more. Finally you registered how strangely he was looking at you, not angry or upset but bewildered, and maybe even scared. What he said next confused you even more. "How are you alive?"

"I thought you might've had more faith in me than that." You joked, but he wasn't amused. "Am I missing something?"

He was hesitant to approach you, unsure of how he was supposed to say it but he tried. "They told me you were gone, that you'd poisoned yourself. I mean...Gaius saw you."

"It was meant to look like that, but it was a trick." You said. "I left when I awoke, they didn't tell people I escaped?"

He shook his head no, tears starting to stream down his face. "...I can't believe this."

As the reality of the situation hit you, you couldn't help but cry as well. All you were guilty about, what you thought you put your loved ones through, it had actually been so much worse. "I am so sorry, if I had any idea I would've- well I don't know what I would've done. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm just, I'm so happy that you're here, and you're okay." Striding over with a grin, he pulled you into his arms. "I've missed you."

"And I, you. More than I could ever put into words." With a laugh you continued. "Things got so boring without you."

"I'm sure they did, you won't believe some of things I have to tell you."

And that was all it took, you both sat down at a table as you filled each other in on everything that had happened in the last two years. It took hours, there were multiple times you had to stop and collect yourselves as certain stories had you laughing until your stomachs ached. Gaius came home and after another tearful welcome back he made you all something to eat and had plenty of his own twists on things that had happened.

As if no time had passed at all, the world felt normal again. You were back where you belonged.

You were home.

[chilligyu]

info: lee jihoon/gender neutral reader, pg, best friends to lovers au genre: fluff, romance | word ct: 5.5k warnings: none summary: when it came to love, no one was prepared. not even jihoon, who could spend hours turning words into magic, especially when love was mysteriously delivered in the form of a letter to his locker. note: heavily inspired by to all the boys I've loved before, but with a twist! no love triangles or anything like that, so just enjoy awkward people falling in love! and thank you to @dreamystuffers and @starlightjoong for taking a sneak peek and telling me what you think!

tagging: @xfirebenderx, @moriiyun, @ohmygoshcheese, @gyu-log

Lee Jihoon, a genius in many ways, was never good when it came to words. At least, not the spoken kind. The kind that you had to think up on the spot, responses, answers, comebacks, small talk, he was absolutely terrible at it. But if you gave him the time to think, to really dwell on his thoughts, he could create something truly beautiful. Which was why he preferred to express his feelings with letters. And while, yes, he could pen something magnificent, the next great classic novel perhaps, he typically kept his messages short and to the point. Much like the man himself.

There was one time that he wrote a “letter” that was simply—

F U C K Y O U

—printed out on seven separate sheets of paper and taped to a row of lockers. All in response to a teacher confiscating his iPod. No one could prove it was him, though, and nothing happened in response to it. He never admitted to his crimes, and despite it being painfully obvious who the author of the message was, there was no hard proof pointing to the culprit. It became the most well-known secret at their high school. And Lee Jihoon became somewhat of a living legend because of it.

The only one who knew the truth was you. His best friend. You were his go-to when it came to proof reading all of his letters. He was the writer, you were the editor. Half the time you were also a berating parent, chastising him for trying to assault people with words. Which was also why, more often than not, his letters never got sent. He would sit in his room for hours, writing letters that were either half the length of novels or only a few sentences long, and after giving it over to be edited, it would get tucked away in his desk drawer. Never to be seen or heard from again.

See, Jihoon was an emotional person. Not in the sense that most people would assume, he didn’t get offended easily, one mean comment wouldn’t leave him crying, he was simply—emotional. Whatever he was feeling, whether it be good or bad, it was powerful, sometimes overwhelming. So instead of erupting like a hormonal volcano, which he had already done plenty of, he put his emotions to paper. At the behest of his aforementioned best friend.

“You can’t go around yelling at people.” You began one afternoon just after entering high school. “Even if you’re writing it down, you’re still yelling at people.”

Jihoon, the definition of “hard to read”, was visibly pouting. “You’re the one who told me to write down how I feel. Now I can’t even send these to anyone?”

“I mean, you can.” You backpedalled. “I’m not your mother, despite Seokmin’s insistence. I can’t stop you from doing anything you’ve set your heart to. All I can do is advise you not to because you’re going to have a terrible few years here if everyone hates you.”

He clearly wasn’t thrilled by your logical response, but he admitted defeat anyway. “Fine. Don’t send the letters that I write. I get it. No one wants to read them.”

You groaned loudly. “You are so dramatic. I’m saying don’t send the literal hate mail to people. Don’t send the stuff you write to vent out your feelings. But if there’s something you want to say to someone, something that you can’t bring yourself to say out loud, by all means! Send the thing! I know you loathe the idea of talking to people, you also hate being misunderstood more.”

He also hated how well you knew him, not that he would ever say that out loud.

That was also something he wrote down in a letter, one he decided to send.

You crumpled it up immediately and threw it back at his face.

“Letters are powerful things, Jihoon.” You added. “They can break hearts, mend souls, and change lives with nothing more than words. Because words mean so many different things to so many different people. You just gotta say the right ones.”

At first, he was only humoring you. Honestly, he thought you completely senile until he gave it a shot. After spending hours hunched over his desk writing things no one else would see, he was starting to realize that maybe you had a point. Instead of roaming the halls shouting obscenities in his head, he was able to reassure himself by knowing he could write about it later. Even the smallest grievance, he would write it down. He would sometimes scribble it down on the margin of a textbook if he was feeling particularly overwhelmed in the middle of the day.

The letters became his therapy, his outlet, eventually he could stroll past some annoying upperclassmen and not feel rage coursing through his veins. It was—nice, almost. Not being subjected to his own hectic imagination at every turn. Feeling at peace for the first time in what felt like ages.

Until he found a letter in his locker, one addressed to him during his senior year. From a secret admirer. The contents of which would be seared into his memory for the remainder of time.

Lee Jihoon, it began.

I have never been able to tell you how I feel, in person or in a letter. For several months now, I’ve tried. I’ve tried to write letters like you for so long, and I just can’t get the words right. I don’t know how you do it. So I’m going to do something different. I’m going to stop being scared. If you meet me in the courtyard after school, I’m going to be brave for the first time in my life. Please help me be brave, Jihoon.

Again and again, he read that short letter. Practically baffled that someone out there wrote an honest-to-god letter that was addressed to an honest-to-god person. And that he wasn’t the writer, that he was the recipient. The thought alone made his heart race, and to comprehend that this secret admirer perhaps harbored feelings towards him? It was next to impossible. But no one writes a letter without true emotion behind it. That’s a fact he was coming to understand.

“I need you to come with me.” He told you after showing you the letter. “I’m—I’m not sure I can do this alone.”

You rolled your eyes. “Jihoon, obviously this person doesn’t want to make a public event out of their confession. You should really do this without me.”

“I know, and I’m not asking you to stand at my side or anything.” He reiterated. “Can you like—stand in a bush or something? If I know that you’re there I won’t feel the need to—"

“Did you just ask me to stand in a bush?” You guffawed. “You did not just ask me to stand in a bush Lee Jihoon because if you did then you’re about to get your ass kicked into next year!”

“I didn’t mean literally!” He quickly denied when he did, in fact, mean it literally. “Just—stand around the corner, okay? Be my moral support!”

Pursing your lips, you knew that there was no getting out of this. “Alright, fine. I’ll come with you. But I’m not happy about it.”

“I’ll pay you back, I promise.” He swore. “Have I ever told you that you’re the best?”

A smirk teased at your lips. “You could mention it more.”

“Consider it done.” Jihoon grinned, gathering up his things and heading for the door. “Don’t forget! After school! Courtyard! Don’t be late!”

Once he was gone and you were completely alone, your face fell in disappointment. “I wouldn’t dream of it…”

By the time that school was finally over for the day, Jihoon was a bundle of overactive nerves. He was excited and terrified and anxious and nauseous all at once. The bombarding sensations kept him cemented in place, gripping the edge of his desk until his knuckles were about to burst through. He had been like that for the entirety of their last class, still as a statue as a cold sweat broke out across his brow. You were standing in front of him, head tilted and wondering what he was planning to do next.

“Class is over.” You reminded him. “Everyone’s left.”

Very slowly, he nodded. “Y-yeah. I can see that.”

His voice sounded as if it had been completely stripped down. Like he had screamed himself hoarse by saying those few words.

“Your secret admirer is probably waiting.” You tried to spur him. “We should get going before I change my mind and head home.”

He audibly swallowed past a lump in his throat. “Well—maybe that’s best. Yeah, I can wait until tomorrow.”

You eyed him incredulously. “You’re going to stay here until tomorrow. You’re insane, get up.”

“I’d rather not.”

“And I’d rather not grow old and die here.” You countered. “C’mon, Jihoon. Your admirer asked you to help them be brave, how exactly is this helping them?”

He had to admit, you had a point. If they were brave enough to put their feelings out there, he had to at least meet them half way.

Sighing loudly, he started to pry his fingers off his desk. “Alright, fine. We’ll do things your way.”

You rolled your eyes for perhaps the hundredth time. “You’re absolutely insufferable. Why do I hang out with you?”

“Because I’m funny.” He said with the most serious face in the world.

Which actually made you laugh.

“I hate you.” You chuckled. “C’mon, let’s get going while we’re still young.”

Jihoon inhaled and exhaled deeply to calm himself down.

This is just the beginning.

Except—it wasn’t.

He stood in the courtyard, seemingly alone, with the note that brought him there clutched tight in his hand. As his moral support you were keeping your distance, as promised, but no one else joined you. Minutes passed and he did his best to remain hopeful. It was hard, especially when a familiar voice nagged at the back of his mind. The same one he struggled with every day to ignore.

No one would ever like you, so why did you bother thinking otherwise?

While the negative thoughts slowly took over, Jihoon didn’t know what to do next. He was defeated, almost destroyed. And even though you walked up behind him and took his hand in yours, it did little to stop the bitter tears from welling in his eyes.

“I should’ve known…” He whispered angrily. “This was all just—a joke. It’s always a joke. Who could ever like me?”

“Stop it, Jihoon.” You hissed at him, squeezing his hand tighter. “They said they were scared, maybe they couldn’t follow through with it. Maybe they were afraid of being rejected. You never know what’s going through someone’s head. Don’t beat yourself up, okay?”

Nothing you said was going to make him feel better. He quickly wrenched himself from your grip and backed away from you.

“I’m going home.” He clipped. “Bye.”

Before he left, he made sure to crumple up the note and toss it at your feet. When his heart was broken, he wore it on his sleeve. You understood what Jihoon was feeling, he had been living with an extremely low self esteem due to his height and his general inability to make friends for as long as you knew him. He was quiet, shy, reserved, he was slow to open up to others and hesitant to trust. That’s why you tried to be excited for him, and now that things hadn’t gone as planned in more ways than one your heart ached just like his.

The next day, Jihoon strolled into class like a drunk zombie. By the looks of him, he hadn’t slept a wink. Too busy being destroyed by his own thoughts to bother with anything like sustenance or sleep. He took up his seat beside you, and you immediately shoved your desk into his.

“Still upset?” You asked, even though you already knew the answer.

Sluggishly he lifted his head up and then quickly dropped it back down.

It was worse than you thought.

“Are you going to talk to me today?” You teased in an attempt to get a reaction. “Or am I going to have to go bother Hansol?”

Grumbling slightly, the barely responsive mass that was your best friend raised his hand and dropped a crumpled wad of paper on your desk. At first, you assumed it was just another one of his letters. They weren’t uncommon when he was feeling—unwell.

But it was another note from his secret admirer.

You were startled because he didn’t usually stop at his locker in the morning.

Lee Jihoon, it started similarly.

I’m sorry for not showing up yesterday, I was scared. I couldn’t bring myself to face you, please don’t be mad at me. I’d like to keep writing you letters, if that’s okay. Let’s get to know each other and maybe one day I can be brave again.

Once you were finished reading, you immediately began analyzing Jihoon’s face again. You had never seen him look like this before, completely vacant. While he was hard to read to the entire world, he was always an open book to you. Now reading him was nearly impossible even with your expertise.

“What are you gonna do?”

He shrugged lazily. “I don’t know. Sit here for the rest of eternity. Wait for the soft embrace of death.”

“Jihoon.” You exasperated. “We both know you’re not actually going to do that.”

Except he actually might and you actually couldn’t take that chance.

“Are you going to write them a letter?” You tried, again. “Maybe that will work out better.”

“I already did.” He murmured. “I don’t think they want to read it though.”

“Jesus Christ…” You groaned loudly, taking Jihoon’s face in your hands and looking him dead in his lifeless eyes. “They still like you, they’re scared and human like the rest of us, it is not the end of the world! Give them another chance and stop being such a goddamn drama queen!”

Silence. Pure unadulterated and perfectly aggravating silence.

“Alright, you leave me no choice. I’m bringing out the big guns.”

Being careful to keep an eye on the teacher, you pulled out your phone and started texting Jihoon’s mother. According to your message, you and Jihoon were going to be studying late at the library, and he would probably need to spend the night at your house. Which wasn’t a complete lie, maybe you would get some studying done. But, in all honesty, you had other things in mind.

“Take your pick.” You instructed, a box set in each hand. “Descendants of the Sun, or Record of Youth.”

Immediately after school, you dragged your best friend to your house and sat him down in front of the TV. Your parents didn’t even question it when you told them this intervention was a matter of life and death, that the patient might need to be admitted for the night. They simply let you do what needed to be done.

Jihoon, who had been relatively catatonic for the past 24 hours, finally showed a glimmer of something. He gave the slightest suggestion of a nod towards Descendants of the Sun and you happily popped in the first disk. As you claimed a spot beside him, popcorn and banana milk in tow, he naturally relaxed against you. You were the only person who got to see him unguarded like that, the only person he himself would allow. And while he was typically someone who kept his true self hidden from the world, there was a part of him that would forever belong only to you.

“Thanks.” He practically whispered, resting his head on your shoulder. “I—I needed this.”

“I know.” You smiled. “Are you ready to talk yet?”

He sighed heavily. “No. Not really. I still have a lot of thinking to do.”

“Well, if you need help thinking you know where I’ll be.” You offered without wanting to seem pushy.

If you weren’t mistaken, you could’ve sworn he actually chuckled.

“Yeah. I do.”

Little by little, your best friend was slowly returning to normal—or as close to normal as you’ve ever seen him. Eventually he started getting sucked into the drama, going rigid when things got tense, and actively pretended he wasn’t crying whenever You Are My Everything played. It was, overall, a job well done. You could sleep easy knowing that Jihoon would be just fine. As you drifted off, you felt him hold your hand and squeeze it gently.

Everything was going to be okay.

And if only to prove that point, the next day was nothing like the one before. Jihoon was back to his old self as if nothing had happened at all. Just another Thursday without a word or whisper about the chaotic tornado his secret admirer had unleashed onto your day-to-day life. He even had a letter for you to read by the time lunch rolled around. Apparently, some freshman irritated him over something seemingly small. At least—to you it seemed barely worth mentioning. But nothing ever really felt small to Jihoon. It was all or nothing, always living in black and white. Which meant that almost everything was important to him in some way. So you read the letter, and you edited it gladly.

Once you were done, he had something else for you. Another note from the admirer.

“This is the third one, right?” You murmured, glancing it over once before looking up at him. “Have you written back yet? Besides the one where I assumed you insulted their very existence with your entire arsenal of hurtful words.”

The blush crawling up his neck was an answer in and of itself, but the thick stack of paper he pulled out of his backpack solidified it.

“I’ve tried a few times.” He admitted hesitantly. “Nothing I write is good enough.”

“Oh, only a few times?” You teased, knowing full well that Jihoon’s definition of a few was the same as calling Jane Eyre a short shopping list. “What’s got you so stuck? Usually you have no issues penning essays over trivial things like cracks in the sidewalk.”

His brow furrowed defiantly. “Hey, proper sidewalk and road maintenance is important to modern infrastructure. If we start overlooking cracks in the pavement, then what? What about traffic lights? Can we afford to allow a single bulb to go out? No, of course not. That’s anarchy.”

You couldn’t believe your ears.

“Jihoon…” You started with an exasperated look. “I was joking.”

Trying to hide the fact that his blush was turning a deep crimson, and failing quite miserably, he pulled a paper from the stack and put it back in his bag. Also something he tried, and failed, to hide from you.

“Are you kidding me!” You laughed, raking a hand down your face. “Did you seriously have a letter in that pile you were going to send to our congressman?”

“No—yes—ugh!” He groaned. “Can we forget about the stupid sidewalk for a second! That’s not important right now! Help me! How do I do this?”

Deciding you had teased your best friend enough, you placed your chin in your hand and smiled at him. “How do you do what, exactly? I’ve never had anything to do with the letters you write, I just read them so someone knows how you’re feeling.”

Who were you kidding, you could never tease Jihoon enough.

He rolled his eyes so hard that he rolled his whole head with them. “Like you’ve ever needed further insight into my head, you always know what I’m thinking before I do.”

True.

“But I don’t understand the first thing about—this.” He finished with a labored sigh, gesturing sharply to the handwritten novel in front of him. “You know that better than anyone.”

Again, he was telling the truth. In the years you had known Jihoon he had never developed serious feelings towards someone else. He had barely entertained the notion since entering high school. He always talked himself out of it because feelings were complicated and bothersome. Plus, he was terrified of being rejected. Like most people are. His intrusive thoughts just so happened to be louder than most.

“I hate to break it to you, Jihoon,” You started in a whisper, “no one knows the first thing about this. Not even me. The only person who can help you is yourself.”

His sour expression made it obvious that he obviously didn’t like your response. “Great. Super helpful. Thank you for your continued wisdom.”

When he moved away from you, you grabbed him by the sweater and pulled him back in. “Why do you always stop listening to me when I’m about to make my point?”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “Because it takes you forever to fucking get there.”

“Alright, you got me there.” You chuckled. “Listen, I’m not kidding when I say that you’ve got to do this one on your own. As much as I can usually sense what feelings are doing somersaults in your stomach, this is a first for you and therefore a first for me. I’ve never seen you like this before, so unfortunately you’ve got to discover this one on your own.”

As you spoke, his features slowly softened until all that remained was a very nervous teenager who didn’t want to screw up his first real chance at love. That’s all Jihoon was at his core, that’s all anyone was.

But you had to admit he almost looked kind of cute.

Almost.

“How do you always know what to say?” He grumbled while crossing his arms. “It’s annoying.”

“You’ve got a really weird way of saying thank you.” You smirked playfully. “Well, maybe this last nugget of advice will get you started in the right direction.”

“Why are you always—” He seethed through his teeth. “How are you still not at whatever your point is!”

You shrugged, because you honestly had no clue. “I'll get there when I get there. You want to hear it or not—”

“Spit. It. Out.”

“Now is that anyway to—”

Wow. You stopped, suddenly fearing for your measly life. If looks could kill—

“Alright, alright, you win.” You conceded. “If you’re having issues writing a letter to your secret admirer, here’s my advice. Stop trying to put words to your feelings and start putting feelings into words. You’re spending too much time trying to say it perfectly that you’re not saying it at all. It doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else, it doesn’t even need to make sense to you. So long as you put them out into the world, they’ll be heard and one day they’ll be understood. You get me?”

The look on his face was—strange. You had a hard time placing it, which should’ve been weirder than it was. In fact, you were seeing lots of different sides to Jihoon lately, sides you never thought existed. This time his eyes widened, the aforementioned scarlet blush had disappeared, and there was a radiance to him that you had never seen before. Like suddenly he could see clearly through the storm of his thoughts.

“Thank you.” He exhaled with a smile. “I’ve never thought about it like that before.”

Feeling triumphant, you wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “I’m starting to wonder what you’d do without me, Jihoon. Three days and you’ve been completely undone and redone by this letter.”

“Letters are powerful things.” He muttered. “They can break hearts, mend souls, and change lives. You taught me that.”

“I guess I’m a pretty good teacher.” You boasted, giving him a squeeze. “Despite the fact that I’m actually quite terrible with words.”

He shrugged off your arm. “Except you always know what to say, how exactly does that work?”

“Just because I can make you see reason doesn’t mean I’m good with words.” You laughed easily. “That simply means that I’ve perfected the art of understanding the impossible. Lee Jihoon. I can’t use words like you do. Trust me I’ve tried, I can never get the words right.”

For a moment, he didn’t have any sort of response. Which was definitely weird. It was a well-known fact that he was terrible with the sorts of words he had to speak, but he didn’t have issues when talking to you. That’s because you were friends, best friends. There had never been this sort of unnerving silence before. Not that you could remember, anyway.

What is going on in your head, Jihoon? You found yourself wondering since you couldn’t read his face. Have you started to figure it out?

“Sorry, I was thinking.” He muttered suddenly, shaking his head. “But I know what I need to write now. Will you read this one too? Even if it gets pretty long?”

“Of course!” You exclaimed with a smile. “When have I ever shied away from a challenge?”

The soft glisten in his eyes made your heart flutter.

“Never.”

When the bell rang and you parted ways, you wondered if Jihoon had ever written you a letter.

Well there’s a first time for everything.

For the next week, he was in full writer mode. And there were no more notes from his secret admirer, not that you expected there to be any. Every chance he got he was scribbling something down on whatever surface he could get his hands on. Textbooks, paper, his arm, he was more inspired than you’d ever seen before and nothing was going to stop him. He didn’t even come over to your house over the weekend, a ritual you hadn’t broken in the ten plus years you had known each other. It was a lonely week, for sure, but you knew it was for a good cause.

Then, after what felt like an eternity of silence, he approached you in the courtyard with a single sheet of paper in his hand.

“Hey…” He started uneasily, his grip tightening. “How’re you?”

Seriously? You mused to yourself with a smile. “I’m good, how’s the writing?”

“Done.” He clipped. “And—I think I covered everything.”

“Are you sure?” You asked, eyeing the sheet of paper. “With all of that writing I thought you’d have a novel for me.”

He shook his head, while a blush crawled up his neck. “Sometimes being concise is more effective than being overly wordy.”

“That’s true.” You grinned. “Easier for me to edit anyway.”

Nodding, he shoved the paper into your hand. “Here. Take your time, I don’t want you to rush it.”

“I won’t.” You promised, resisting the urge to start reading right away. “I know you put a lot of thought into this.”

With that, he turned around and walked off without another word. Leaving you holding something that looked like little more than pen ink on paper, but felt like a confession on fire. Once he was out of eyesight, you exhaled a breath you had been holding unintentionally and started reading.

To the person I have never loved before. It began, and you weren’t prepared for the roller coaster you had willingly climbed into.

This isn’t for the person I’ve loved all along, no. This is for you, someone who managed to stir my emotions more than a raging monsoon with only a few words and the hint of a promise. Who are you? I wondered to myself, because you were without equal. How could I have missed you? You were extraordinary. You didn’t have a face, all I had of you was a letter slipped into my locker, you were a ghost and I was set ablaze by your words. I had never felt like that before, my heart was unprepared. As was I. You made me question everything, and made me realize things I had never seen before.

What I felt for you wasn’t love, even though I thought it was at first. You presented me with feelings I decided I would never feel, so I could only assume that it was love. I felt like a live wire, ready to spark at a moment's notice. All I could think about was you. The infinite options and scenarios I dreamt up, all because of you, was astronomical. It was exhilarating, and I found myself drunk on the endless possibilities that you presented me. What else could make me feel that way, if it wasn’t love?

The answer was one I didn’t expect, and it hit me like a tsunami. I started to feel that way towards someone I already know. Someone who has cared for me more than anyone should, they have been my best friend for years so how could I suddenly feel the same way? How could my friendship for them become intertwined with the love I thought was solely reserved for you? And how could I have missed it after being enveloped by their warmth for so long?

You changed all of that. You made me see clearly for the first time in years and I was completely undone. Everything I knew was suddenly challenged, my feelings towards the most important person in my life changed without any warning, and I didn’t know what to do. How could I ask them, a friend, to see me as anything more? I was lost, trapped in an endless loop of destructive thoughts and desire. Desperately wanting to scream my feelings from the rooftop while fearing the voice that would have to put words to them. Your feelings for me awakened my feelings for them, and suddenly the words that have given me comfort for so long escaped me.

Still, you helped me.

In ways I can only thank with this letter.

You helped me because you are the one who told me to start writing letters. It’s always been you. You are the one who has given my thoughts meaning when I struggled to communicate with the world. One that could never understand someone like me. You are the one who wrote me a letter, asking a coward to help you be brave. It took me a while to realize that you were one and the same, but I picked up on the hints you left behind. I’m sorry it took me this long to figure it out.

Would you have showed up had I not asked you to come with me? I think about that often, were you only afraid because my initial thought was that there was no way it could be you? The impossible notion that my best friend could love me anymore than they already do? I have a thousand more questions I want to ask you, but I think I’m brave enough now to ask you in person.

So I’m going to end this letter here, because you deserve so much more than the words I’ve hidden behind for years. A letter I started to write for someone I thought I didn’t know, to the person I’ve never loved before. Funny, how it ended up being a letter to the person I’ve loved all along.

As you read the last line, tears already streaming down your face, you had never felt happier.

“You figured it out.” You whispered, almost in disbelief. “For a second there I thought you never would.”

You don’t know when Jihoon came back, but he was suddenly standing in front of you taking your hand in his. “It really shouldn’t have taken me that long, I’ve only seen your handwriting a thousand times before.”

Laughter bubbled past your lips as you dried your tears with your sleeve. “I was terrified that you would’ve figured me out from the very beginning. Looks like I really give you too much credit sometimes.”

“You do.” He agreed. “So, what did you think of the letter? Any edits you can think of?”

“This isn’t the type of letter that needs editing.” You stated plainly. “It would take away from the author’s meaning.”

“What would that be?” He asked, clearly teasing you. “Enlighten me.”

You shook your head defiantly. “No, no way. It’s your letter, why don’t you tell me what it’s supposed to mean?”

Part of him didn’t want to make it easy, that much you knew with absolute certainty. But, for the sake of time and your poor heart, he would let you off the hook. Just this once.

“That I love you.” He said softly. “More than anything else.”

Choking out a sob, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in close.

“I love you too, Jihoon.”

In the end, neither of you were good with words, but you only needed to know what to say to each other.