#and i think she needs one more 'yes' from him before just digging in :3
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cldhrbour · 8 months ago
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"are you perhaps feeling...peckish? a can hardly allow you to waste in hunger." ah. gale's a point, of course, but to offer so readily... his voice falters. - @recitedemise
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head lifts. even in the dark of the tent , made worse by the shadow lands gloam , he'd see the unnatural shimmer of her eyes. scents of ginger and spice still linger within the threads of his clothes , memories of the meal the rest of them had eaten. except for the undead pair. there have been few and far between things to reliably feast upon. especially for the elder. never would bovine or rat sustain her enough , not like astarion. if the wizard were paying attention ── and she assumes , due to this comment , and nothing else !! , he certainly has ── her skin and hair have lost luster. " oh you say that to EVERYONE before dinner. . . " the smile on her lips coy , the light that bounces off of the small pond they were near glints the tip of fangs.
she should not be looking a gift wizard in the mouth.
" only if you're aware of the erm. . . side effects. " folded legs open , a pale hand reaching out to take his. " it won't be only fatigue that our beautiful cleric can wash away. " when he hands himself over , she's gentle but firm in guiding him. in bringing him in so that he can lean his back against her chest. all in an effort for his comfort , despite it's admittedly intimate form. serana's chin now perched just above his left shoulder. hands so polite rest on his arms ( gods they want to roam. to caress. to thread through hair and─── ) in a form of reassurance. of support. she'd make no move unless he gave his say. " we'd. . . be bonded. you and i. " his blood flowing in her veins. animating her.
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choslut · 2 months ago
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˖ ࣪ ، ◞ せ⌇ SWEET TALK. featuring choso.
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↻ choso lives for one thing ; to make sure his precious girlfriend is never unsatisfied.
tags : cunniligus, dirty talk, body worship, male masturbation, overstimulation, squirting, fingering, mentions of face sitting, feral choso // wc. 0.7k
author's note : i lowkey wanna thank @toadtoru for sending in an ask about this before i even posted it, because i used some of those ideas to improve on this :3 in true homage to my username choso is a complete slut in this lolsies ;) one more to go and this event is finished, thanks for sticking around for THIS long i love everyone here >o<
this work is NSFW. minors and ageless blogs DO NOT INTERACT.
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if there’s one thing CHOSO firmly believes in, it’s that you aren’t just his girlfriend, but some supreme deity from heaven above. it sounds completely ridiculous, but he believes it more than anything, especially in moments like this. 
you just look so beautiful above him on the couch, thighs parted slightly and fingers caressing the sensitive mound in between your legs, head tipped back and lips parted in a silent ‘o’ as your toes curl into the carpet. angelic, he thinks, and he can’t wait to receive permission to touch you.
“choso…” your voice is smooth like butter yet sweet like caramel, and choso can feel his cock begin to press up against his slacks. “c’mere.”
yes. that’s all he needs before he’s eagerly crawling in between your legs to lap at your cunt, fingers digging into the fat of your thighs as he pulls them apart in earnest. “shit… missed me, did she?” his rambles are fueled by pure lust and delusion, and as he eats you out, choso begins to talk into your cunt. “missed her too… poor baby can’t go too long without her sweet boyfriend, huh…”
fingers tangle in his dark locks as you pull him closer, effectively muffling his ramblings by grinding your lower half on his tongue. the way he eats you out is feverish, his wet muscle alternating between your inflamed clit and pulsing hole interchangeably. and choso can’t help himself from getting fired up by your lewd display too, his own hips grinding down onto  the couch as he finds solace in between your legs. 
you, on the other hand, are positively reeling, legs twitching uncontrollably as choso continues to make a mess of your poor cunt. you wish you could return to him the same pleasure tenfold, but all you can do is sit and take it, helpless to his ministrations. “cho, cho, ‘s too much, baby, s-slow down…” 
begging is futile. choso is hypnotised, his own eyes rolling into the back of his head in an immediate reflection of your own reaction. “sorry baby, can’t, you taste s’good, don’t wanna…”
neither of you are in your right mind, but choso especially. when you cry out from orgasm for the first time, he barely takes note, his tongue on your clit never letting up as he brings two fingers to the entrance of your weeping cunt. the other hand previously on your thigh is now shoved into his boxers, and he’s fisting himself just as quickly as his fingers begin to plow your pussy. 
he’s killing you, but you love it. his brown eyes peek up in between your legs, and you just catch his expression, pupils dilated with lust as he watches you twitch above him. he mumbles something onto your clit before he’s licking and kissing it again, and you begin to think you might actually die. 
“c’mon, baby,” he groans, hips thrusting forward into his palm as he continues to eat. “c’mon baby, gimme another one– fuck, please, please…”
“choso, i can’t…” you truly believe that, given the way he’s already on his way to giving you another orgasm in the short span of five minutes. but he needs it so bad, needs you to cum for him so bad that he speeds up, thumb now joining his tongue to stimulate your clit in unison. “choso!”
“that’s it, baby, that’s it, oh, she’s close, isn’t she?” you can barely believe that he’s treating your pussy like its own person, but fuck is it turning you on. you hiccup pitiful whimpers as your thighs begin to tremble again, knees closing inwards and trapping choso’s head in between your legs.
if he were to die in this position, he wouldn’t mind. your release sprays his lips in repeated spurts, juices dribbling down his chin and some even dripping onto the flared head of his cock. it’s that which tips choso over the edge, and he’s spurting ropes onto the carpet, his own eyes finding the back of his head rapidly as his nose jerks against your clit.
“baby…” he stares down at the mess he’s made on the floor and then back at you, who’s laying spread eagle on the couch, chest rapidly rising and falling. “you gotta sit on my face next time.”
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PREVIOUS : SURVIVAL ft. sniper mask NEXT : INKED ft. suguru geto
liked that? check out the WE’RE SO BACK main masterlist.
© choslut 2024 — do not copy, repost or translate my works without permission.
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moonstruckme · 5 months ago
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Are you going to continue the roomate James series? I’m actually in love with it😍
Yes! Thank you for reading <3
part 1 │ part 2 │ part 3 │ part 4 │part 5 │ part 6 │ part 7 │ part 8 │ part 9 │ part 10 │ part 11 │ part 12 │ part 13
roommate!James x shy!reader ♡ 804 words
“Honey, I’m home!” 
A smile tugs at your lips, even as you roll your eyes to yourself. James has become more and more fond of these pet names, and of announcing his comings and goings like he’s worried you’ll miss him. (He’s never gone long enough for that, though you might actually miss him if he were.) If you don’t respond in some way or another, he’ll—
“Hey.” He pokes his head through your cracked door. “You alive in here?” 
You pause in folding your laundry to give him a deadpan look. “I could have been in my underwear.” 
He looks mildly horrified. “I’d hope if you were, you’d close the door all the way.” 
“You know, I did manage to stay alive even before you moved in.” 
James leans on your doorframe, giving you the sort of lazy grin you have to pretend doesn’t scare butterflies into flight in your stomach. You really hope that wears off soon. “See, but now I’m convinced if I don’t check on you, you really will die and it’ll be my fault.” 
“How would it be your fault?” 
“Classic case of roommate neglect. I smell the rotting coming from inside your room, the police come, they ask How did you not know your roommate was dead for a month? I reply, Well, officer, she said she could be galavanting in her underwear at any moment. They put me in handcuffs and I spend the next five to fifteen years having Sirius bring me cigarettes I don’t want so that I can trade them for ramen noodles in the yard.” 
You scoff, fighting a smile. “As if you would ever eat ramen.” 
“That’s what I’m saying, sweetheart. You’d be forcing me upon desperate times. But hey,” he raises his hands in a show of surrender, “I didn’t come in here to discuss prison currency. Would it be alright with you if I had friends over tonight?” 
“Of course,” you say, looking back down to match a pair of socks. “You don’t need to ask every time, it’s always alright.” 
“Thanks,” he says warmly, “but it makes me feel better to ask. What do you want on your pizza?” 
You blink. “Me?” 
“Yes, you.” He smiles. Butterflies all over again. “You don’t have to hang out with us to eat it—though we’d love to have you—but I’m not just going to order pizza to your own apartment without having any for you.” 
“It’s your apartment, too,” you remind him. “That’d be a very normal thing to do.” 
“Irregardless.” James waves you off. You wrinkle your nose at the word choice. “What do you want?” 
You swallow a sigh. There are some things, you’ve found, James is nearly impossible to argue with about. If you really dig your heels in, sometimes you can make him move first, but you don’t feel like it right now. 
You do the next best thing you can think of: choosing the least obtrusive option. “Cheese is good with me, thanks.” 
His eyes narrow like he knows what you’re doing, but he says, “Got it. I’ll let you know when it’s here.” 
“Thanks.” You turn your attention back to your laundry. James lingers in the doorway. 
A month ago, you would have kept ignoring him, working on the (unfounded) hope that he’d go away. Now, you look up. 
“Do you think you might come downstairs and hang out?” he asks. He has a strange look on his face, one you can’t quite decipher. “You know you’re always invited.” 
You give James a terse sort of smile. He’s not stopped inviting you to do things since the day he moved in. Your open invitation has been made very clear, and you’ve been accepting it more often lately. James is someone who makes it easy to feel close to him. He tosses pet names at you like they’re nothing, comes to check on you when he gets home, pretends he needs to go grocery shopping just because you need a ride to the store. Last week, you’d sat down to watch a movie with him and woken up to a black screen, your cheek smushed into his shoulder and his head resting atop yours. 
Somehow, you’ve let him spill into your life without meaning to, and now you have these childish, crush-like reactions whenever he smiles a certain way or calls you pet names with that familiar bent to his voice. You know you just need time to sort these feelings out. It’d probably be ideal to keep yourself from spilling into his life as much as possible in the meantime. 
But it’s hard to deny James anything when he’s so sweet to you. And he’s nice. His friends seem nice. 
“I might,” you say. 
“I’ll take the win,” James replies, smiling. These butterflies are seriously inconvenient.
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0mg-bird · 3 months ago
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i would love it if you did a fic about bob finally introducing his shyer!girlfriend to the daggers! cute teasing, fluff, all the works <3
unrelated, but would you ever consider making a masterlist?
Hi! Thank you for the ask! And yes, I will be working on a master list soon, it just takes too much work for me to do as of this moment 😭. Bear with me y’all! I’m new at this! Anyway, here’s the story, hope you don’t hate it <3
Bob Floyd x Shy!Girlfriend Reader
“No.”
“Sweetheart.”
“Absolutely not, Robert.”
Bob sighed, leaning against the door while he watched you comb your hair. He’d brought up the idea he’d been toying with all day, only to get the answer he suspected he was going to get from you.
“Honey, it won’t be horrible. Look, the squad wants to meet you, and I want to introduce you to them."
He's hard to resist, looking at you with those puppy dog eyes of his. You understood his reasoning, but the idea of being surrounded on the beach with a bunch of cocky aviators...well, that was something you didn't really like the idea of.
You groan, looking at his reflection in the mirror before fully turning to face him. You give him a pouty look, one that makes him come forward and hold your face in his hands. "They're not gonna like me." You say, muffled from the way your cheeks are squished in his hold.
"Yes they will." He says.
"I'm boring."
"Your the most interesting thing in the world, honey."
He was always so sweet with his words, he calms your nerves every time. You know it means something to him to have his squad know who his girl is, so you try and be brave, pushing your worry out of your mind. You smile reassuringly. "Okay." You say. "It's a date."
Bob smiles, leaning down to kiss your lips, then your forehead. "It'll be a good day, I promise."
As you get into his bed, surrounded by the scent of him, he pulls you closer. "Maybe then they'll stop saying I'll never get laid." He states, making you look at him with disbelief.
"What, are we in middle school?" You ask.
He lightly chuckles. "You're gonna see the level of immaturity these guys have on Saturday, then you'll understand."
And when Saturday came, you gripped onto his hand like your life depended on it. You wore a white baby doll dress over your bikini, your sandals in your hand as you walked across the sand. As the two of you come closer, you see the group of pilots all gathered, setting up camp.
"Well, look who showed up." One of them call out as you come to join them.
You immediately blush at the amount of eyes on you They all look you over, almost like they were detectives and you were a case they needed to crack. You get introduced to them and quickly come to learn just what Bob meant, this group of the best fighter pilots in North America were no better than kids.
"I uh, I brought some snacks if y'all want some." You say, laying out multiple floral tupperware containers that were filled with homemade goods. Immediately, the boys were on it, fighting over who got what. They reminded you of seagulls.
Natasha, who was the most excited to meet the girl who Bob spoke about non stop, is yelling at the boys to mind their manners. "You wouldn't even think they were functioning adults." She jokes, making you smile.
You wait till the last minute to take your cover off, looking at the well built bodies around you made you retreat to modesty as a defense. You didn't put on your usual bathing suit because Bob said you should wear his favorite one. One that showed more skin, one that drew more attention to you. Stupidly, you agreed with him and put it on. You regret that decision now.
"Aren't you hot?" Nat asks as she pulls her tank top off.
"Oh no, I'm good." You say, giving her an awkward smile and then dig in your bag for the bottle of sunscreen.
You didn't really think it'd be embarrassing to pursue the routine you always have with Bob when you come to the beach, so as he, Hangman, Coyote and Rooster stand, talking about something way above your pay grade, you come to Bob's side. You try not to interrupt their conversation, but words slowly start to slow and they get distracted by the way you pull Bob's glasses off his face. You squirt some of the sunscreen out and into your hands, then you gently apply it to his face. The three others stop and watch, faces full of amusement as you make sure he has an even coverage. Bob doesn't mind, he was never one to be embarrassed of the loving acts you do for him, so you find it strange when you turn around and see the guys watching you.
"That's awfully sweet of you." Coyote comments, and you make the mistake of taking him literally.
"Bob, do you get your mom to fly in and do it for you when she's not around or do you just risk the sunburn?" Hangman teases, making the other two laugh.
You look at the tall aviator. "Sunscreens important, Jake, do you need some? I could help you with it or I'm sure your boyfriend here could do it for you." You say, motioning to Coyote.
Rooster bursts with laughter, wheezing at the joke you make, and behind you, Bob stands with a proud and smug look on his face.
Jake fumbles with his words, in disbelief that you’re being outspoken.
Back at your beach blanket, you clip your hair up and look around, making sure no eyes were directly on you as you pull your dress off and drop it into your bag. Any previous jokes that some of the boys made about Bob finding a goody-two-shoes for a girlfriend, are immediately regretted when they see how great you look in a bikini.
Payback looks ultimately confused. "Anyone else wondering how Baby on Board gets to sleep with a girl like that?" He asks out of ear shot from you.
"Probably because he's not a total dick like you are." Nat suggests.
"Bobby?" You get his attention as you lay on the blanket, holding up the sunscreen, silently asking him to get your back so you can tan for awhile.
At the sound of the name, some of the boys laugh, making you blush.
"Hey, Bobby, will you get my back next?" Fanboy teases, making Bob glare as he sits beside you. "Did he just glare at me?" He asks, in utter disbelief that Bob was capable of it.
Bob undoes the back of your suit, gently running his hands over your bare skin. "Are you good here for awhile? We're gonna play a game of dog fight football." He asks.
You turn your head to look at him. "I'll survive."
He ties your suit back together, then meets your lips as you lean up to kiss him.
It was peaceful, laying and watching the aviators goof around, running up and down the beach. You had no idea that the questions being asked between plays were all about you.
"What'd you do in order to win her over?" Rooster asks, grunting as he throws the football.
"I'm still trying to figure that out." Bob huffs, blocking Fanboy so he can't intercept.
"She's cute, doesn't talk much though." Fanboy adds.
"She does, just not to people she barely knows." Bob defends.
As Hangman runs by, he pauses. "Be honest with us, Bobby, you ever get bored of her?"
Bob looks at him like he's crazy. "Never. One of these days, Hangman, you'll learn that crazy bar girls don't make girlfriends. Maybe my girl's shy but she's a whole lot better than whatever new girl you can't make stick around."
The ones around them laugh at Hangman getting called out for the second time today.
"Jokes aside." Rooster says. "I'm happy for you, man, she seems good to you."
Bob looks back at you lazily reading a book, your feet kicking back and fourth in the air behind you. "Yeah, I really like her...actually I'm gonna ask her to move in."
They all gasp.
"We'll say a prayer for you man." Coyote shakes his head.
At some point, you had rolled onto you back and let your hair down, sunglasses on your face as you rest your eyes. Though, your sun is covered by a shadow after a while. You open our eyes, gazing up at the man who's standing above you. You prop yourself up on your elbows.
"Hi." You grin, watching as Bob pulls his sweaty shirt off, revealing his toned upper body. You move your sunglasses down your nose to get a better look, then take them off entirely.
"Hey, you ready to go into the water?" He asks, making you shake your head.
"I'm good on dry land, sailor."
Bob gives you a smirk. "Now, that's just not going to do."
"I'm okay here, Bobby, go have fun with your squad, they're already in the water." You say.
"So you want me to join them and leave you here?" He asks, making you nod in agreement.
He hums, pausing before leaning down and scooping you into his arms. You gasp, flailing in his hold but his grip is too strong. "Bobby, no! Put me down!"
"Not a chance."
You form a death grip, arms holding tightly around his neck as he makes it to the water with you. "Don't do this." You laugh loudly.
"Are you ready?" He asks.
"No! Bobby!"
He loosens his grip, pretending to drop you, making you yell and tighten your grip around him even more. The dagger squad starts chanting ‘overboard’, and you feel the cool water slosh up against you as Bob walks further in.
“Bobby!”
“One.”
“No, baby, please.”
“Two.”
“Robert Floyd!”
“Three!”
He falls sideways into the water with you, making you sink under before you pop back up, wiping your eyes. You can’t help but laugh, splashing him as he pops up in front of you.
“I can’t believe you.” You say, wrapping your arms around him.
He grins boyishly. “Sorry, honey.”
The squad watches as the two of you swim beside each other.
“So…Bob is getting laid.” Coyote says.
“He’s the only one who is.” Rooster adds.
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latenightdaydreams · 6 months ago
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Could you write something where the reader is König’s enemy, and once koctac wins, Konig takes reader as a prize, fucks her in front of her team making sure they see how good he makes her feel, then takes her back to base where she’ll be his personal and only fleshlight/fuck toy.
"Oh nooo, the big sexy Colonel took me as a sex toy." heeheehee🤭
I Win (fem)
MDNI🔞
Master List
Part 2, Part 3
>cw: fem/afab, nc, r@p3 spelled out, humiliation
1.0k word count
🥇
.
.
König walks you towards a tent with one of his hands on the back of your neck, your hands cuffed behind your back. He walks through the flaps where you see your squad, handcuffed and forced to kneel on the ground while KorTac soldiers surround them with guns aimed at them. König forces your head down on a table, making you see your squad.
“Pathetic.” König spits at your squad. “You thought you could go up against Colonel König? My men?! I’ll show you all what a winner looks like.”
He snaps his fingers and has two of his men come over to you. They grab your arms and spread them apart over the table. You can feel König’s hands pull away at your gear and undo your pants. In an attempt to fight him off, you squirm and kick. A hand comes down and slaps your ass harshly.
“Don’t fucking move or I’ll kill your squad.” He snaps quickly.
With a look of disdain on your face, you stop moving. König pulls your pants down to your ankles, pulling your black cotton panties down with them. His hand comes up and spanks your ass once again. You can feel your face heating up from embarrassment and nervousness of what is coming.
“Everyone, take a good look at your sergeant now.” König points at your squad. “I don’t want to see one person looking away or I’ll fucking shoot you, understood?”
Your squad was quiet, not knowing how to react in this situation until König shouted again, “I said IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?!”
“Yes…” Their broken voices rung out.
“Gut…” König chuckles as he turns his attention back to you. His fingers rub in between your legs, parting your folds before shoving two fingers into your pussy. Your hands balling into fists as it takes everything in you to not try to kick him off of you.
“Nice and tight, just like I thought you would be.” He withdraws his fingers and wipes your wet arousal on his pants before pulling off his belt quickly with one hand, quickly unfastening this olive-green cargo pants.
You can feel the size of him as he slaps his cock on your ass, leaving behind little drops of pre-cum behind on your skin. The look of discomfort and sympathy is written all over your squad’s face as König spits on your ass, rubbing his dick in the spit. He can sense you tensing up, thinking he’s about to fuck your ass.
“Don’t worry your pretty little head, Liebling. I’m saving that for later.” He laughs at the mental strain he’s causing to you.
König lines his cock up with your entrance, looking over your body. The shape of you is perfect. You’re the type of woman he would typically go for outside of these circumstances, so it’s perfect that you just ended up in his hands. Without warning, he shoves his cock into. A loud pleasured groan leaves his lips as his hands grasping your hips shove you back even more on to him. Your knuckles are white from holding a tight fist.
“Keep those eyes open for me, Liebling.” He demands while pulling your head up by your hair, he forces you to look at your squad as he fucks you. Looking ahead you notice your squad and KorTac soldiers growing erections in their pants, you’re disgusted.
Your eyes meet those of your squad, their eyes trying to avert your gaze; but it’s difficult when they have guns pointed at their head. With each thrust a small pleasured whimper leaves your lips. König’s fingers are digging into the supple flesh of your hips so deeply, they will be leaving bruises behind.
“Look at your leader, submit so easily to the stronger man.” He laughs loudly before a hand comes down and spanks your ass. “A woman like this needs to be shown she’s nothing more than a hole to fuck.”
His hand lets go of your hair and wraps around your neck, squeezing until it’s a little hard for you to breathe. Your small whimpers coming out strained as König begins to fuck your cunt faster. He scans the faces of your men to make sure they’re watching.
“Beg for me to cum in you.” König pants as his hips begin to roll into you faster. “Beg to be bred.”
At first you stay silent, not wanting to give in more than what’s happened.
“You know I can rape you and then kill all your team in front of you…one by one…” His voice sounded deep and intimidating as he spoke those words.
“Please cum in me.” You say with a strained voice from being choked.
“More convincing!”
“Please! Cum in me please!”
“There you go, keep begging.” König could feel himself building up to the moment, your horse voice just adding to his arousal.
“Please breed me… please I want your cum.”
A loud moan leaves Königs mouth as he throws his head back. His cock shoved deep inside of your fertile pussy as he cums inside of you. Slowly he pulls out and his men let go of your arms. He lifts you up, placing you on the table on all fours.
“Look at your sergeant, my little cum dumpster.” He spreads your ass to show your pussy to your squad as a little of his seamen drips from your now very stretched hole. “Push.”
You do as he says and push the cum out of your vagina. His thick creamy cum falling on to the table underneath you as your squad sits there and watches you do this.
“I stretched her good, huh?” He says to his men and they laugh with König. You stay on all fours humiliated. Tears threatened to fall from your eyes, but you refuse to cry in front of König.
“Bring them to HQ, I’m taking this one with me.”
“Wait!” You protest. “You said you’d let my men go.”
König began to laugh even more, “I said I wouldn’t kill them, not let them go. What happens to them from here is no longer my concern, only you.”
He walks over to you and lifts you over his shoulder before walking you out of the tent to his truck, he was going to have so much fun with his new toy.
Part 2, Part 3
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erwinsvow · 9 months ago
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𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞
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summary: lying to rafe is never a good idea.
author's note: eeee! back to writing for my man <3 this can be seen as a sequel to suit the mood of my soul as it follows the plot a little bit but not really, as there's no direct mentions of pogue!reader in this! i just wanted to write a little about what rafe would be like if he find out you lied/what he would do... :) inspired by @princessbrunette for the dad/kid trope she writes about and this one!
now spinning: prisoner by the weeknd & lana
word count: 3.8k
warnings/tags: smut! rafe is a lil scary in this one but it's okay <3, gripping/bruising, face slapping as punishment, daddy/dad usage for rafe and reader is called kid a lot.
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“So, what’d you do the other night?” Rafe asks you the question quietly, and he sounds different than usual.
You haven’t really noticed the change yet though, so you act like you always do around him—a little dumber, not as vigilant, and using your brain less overall.
That’s the best part of being with Rafe. He makes all the decisions for you, he figures out what to do and when to do it, and you really don’t have to think around him. At first you were confused, if not a little worried. Did he think you were stupid?
But then you realize this is how he is—so overpoweringly, overwhelmingly dominant that you have no choice but to succumb.
So you go on, unthinking, saying what comes to mind. 
“I was with you, Rafey, did you forget already?” It comes out with a laugh, making yourself comfortable against his chest.
He’d just come over less than an hour ago, after dinner with his family, he had said. He always spent the night after doing anything with his family, because they made him angry and you made him feel better. At least, that’s what he always said.
So it’s easy to attribute his difference in demeanor, the strangeness surrounding your normally nice boyfriend, to a bad dinner with his family. He must have been more upset than you thought.
“Hm,” he says, slowly, curtly. “Is that right?”
“Yes, Rafey, dinner and the ice cream? Remember it melted all over your hand?” Your face flushes even thinking about it—because immediately following that incident, you had licked his hands clean. 
“Yeah, I remember. You have a good memory, kid.” 
You beam at his praise for a second, leaning your head up to stare at your pretty boyfriend for a second. But he doesn’t look down at you the way he normally does. He doesn’t look at all, instead his gaze is still fixed on the television, which is still playing one of your silly rom-coms quietly in the background. 
“Rafe?” it comes out like a whisper, but he ignores you, his grip on your arm tightening while he continues to stare off, not at you.
“Try to remember something else for me, kid. Night before last, what’d you do?” 
You freeze under his touch. Your entire body goes rigid, eyes wide, lips parting. You want to speak, but nothing comes out.
Then, Rafe looks down at you. 
“Can’t remember now? Should I refresh your memory?”
You don’t need him to refresh anything. On the night before last, Sarah had asked you for help with something in the Tannyhill library. You had gone to help, because this was more than just Rafe’s sister, she was your friend too, but when you got there, you were confused. Sarah was there, but so were all the Pogues you had seen around town, seen with her before. 
They were all digging through the shelves, looking for something in the library, and Sarah called you over because everyone in the Cameron house was aware of the fact that you knew this library like the back of your hand. Months of babysitting Wheezie and not having anything to do had led to this very situation. Until you became Rafe’s, that is, because ever since then, you haven’t had to spend another moment alone. 
So then you helped them search for whatever it was they were looking for, and when your phone went off with a message from Rafe, at Sarah’s urging, you lied and said you were at home with your parents.
The Pogues found it eventually, after almost two hours of combing through shelves and trying your best to organize them the way they were. You went home, texted Rafe goodnight, and thought that was that.
It wasn’t a lie, you tried to convince yourself. It was a fib, really, because you just didn’t want him to worry even more when he had so much going on. And it’s not like you knew what Sarah was even up to, she said it was just a little project. 
You didn’t realize what kind of project until now.
“Um, Rafe-” you start, really quiet.
You falter when you get a better look at the expression on his face. It’s the first time you’ve ever been on the receiving end of that look—anger, disappointment, frustration.
Your eyes get watery, immediately. It’s just a natural reaction. 
“You think some tears are gonna get you out of this?” he questions, and you feel your breathing getting heavy, your cheeks getting wet.
You shake your head quickly. You don’t want him to think you’re crying for forgiveness.
“I’m sorry-” comes out before you can stop it, and you try to use the sleeves of your hoodie—Rafe’s hoodie—to wipe the tears away, thinking it’ll be better if he can’t see them any longer, but he grabs your wrist before you can.
You’re pinned in place, his hand gripping you and holding you down, the weight of his body on yours. It’s all you can do to look up Rafe with your wide, wet eyes and hope he listens to you. 
He’s never been mad at you before, so he doesn’t know how to react. You’ve always been perfect to him, for him, and he’s never had to do anything more than take your cheeks in his hand and lock eyes to make you realize you’re doing something wrong.
He didn’t think you could be capable of doing something to hurt him, to get in the way of everything he’s planning, not when you’re so compliant and docile and perfect all the other times. 
You have a collection of pretty dresses and skirts, ranging in lengths and sizes, and you always wear the right thing. Modest, longer dresses that stop above your knee and start just under the necklace you never take off—the necklace with his initial on it—when you’re invited to dinner at Tannyhill with his family.
Shorter, small skirts when he takes you to the club or the bonfire. Short enough that people are staring, not short enough to give anyone a view of what belongs to him.
In his bedroom, it’s just his clothes—shirts to sleep in, hoodies when you’re reading a book on his bed while he finishes his game at the desk, nothing more than one of your tanks and a pair of his boxers when you’re getting antsy and horny waiting for him to get back to bed when he’s on an important phone call. 
He’s never had to tell you any of that—you just do it, you just know it. He doesn’t have to tell you to go wait on his bed for him without complaining. He doesn’t have to tell you he doesn’t like when his friends are seeing parts of you they aren’t supposed to. But most important of all, he didn’t have to tell you to stay away from those dirty Pogues and his annoying sister. You were just supposed to know.
“You’re sorry?” he questions, and you know he’s mocking you. Rafe’s gone quiet, which you’re not used to because Rafe never gets mad at you. You didn’t even think it was possible.
He lets go of your wrist, which flails next to your side. His grip is replaced quickly as he squeezes your cheeks together, fingers pressing hard against your jaw.
“You’re sorry, really, is that all? You lied to me. You think that’s okay?”
Your breathing gets hard and fast under his touch. Your eyes get watery again, trying to say something but it’s silenced between Rafe’s fingers keeping your mouth shut.
You shake your head as hard as you can. You just want to explain yourself—it seemed so harmless when you were doing it. You didn’t want to worry him. You didn’t realize what you were doing. You’d never do it again if Rafe will forgive you.
Then you get scared, eyes wide and blank while your boyfriend stares at you, looking so upset and angry you wish you could reverse time and take it all bank. You worry that he won’t forgive you, that he’ll end things and leave you alone, and the thought itself is so frightening you start sobbing and shaking.
Rafe’s hand leaves your face because he gets surprised at your reaction—he thought you’d be telling him something he really, really doesn’t want to hear, but true to your perfect form, you say exactly what he does want to hear. 
“I’m so sorry Rafe, I’m so sorry, they asked me for help but I would have never done it if-if I knew it would hurt you or make you upset, I-I didn’t know-” It all comes out in a ramble, hurt coating your words and tears streaming down in rivulets down your pretty face.
He’s worried he might have gone too far, scared you too much, but you jump back in his arms the second he’s let go of you, face pressed against his chest and his shirt getting wet. 
“I’m so sorry, please don’t break up with me, I’ll never do it again, I’ll never even talk to them again, I swear, I promise-” 
It’s instinctual, Rafe wrapping his arms around you and holding you close. He wonders how he did this—changed the sweet, pretty girl he met on a trip with Wheezie to the library into the girl in his arms now—utterly dependent, crying because of him but not making a single move to defend yourself.
Instead you believe everything he says and you’re sobbing because you don’t want him to leave you. He wonders again, thinking about if he should regret what he’s done to you. 
He doesn’t.
“Shh,” he comforts, and you lean into him further. “S’okay, it’s okay.” He rubs your arms soothingly, ignoring the red down further on the limb, which is inevitably a bruise forming. “I’m not gonna leave you.”
When the words leave his mouth, you melt against his chest like butter, and he grips you tight.
“I’m sorry, kid, I am, but I have to make sure that-that, you don’t do something that could mess up everything I’m working on right now.” You mewl a noise of protest, but he quiets you down again. “Even if it’s an accident, baby, even by accident. You don’t know the things I’m trying to protect you from. I can’t let you get hurt like that, so when you lie to me about something like this, it just upsets me, because I’m working hard for you—for us, and you see that, don’t you?” 
He feels you nod your head slowly.
“I’m so sorry, Rafe,” and he lets out a heavy breath. You cling to his every word, wondering how you could have been so, so stupid, as to lie to your boyfriend. 
“It’s okay, kid,” his hand moves to your back, rubbing circles on the soft skin, hand tucked under his hoodie and above the waistband of his shorts that you’re wearing.
“Do you forgive me?” you ask, lifting your head a few inches to look up at Rafe, wet eyelashes floating up to reveal red-rimmed, puffy eyes.
He looks down, wondering just how much he’s messed you up.
“Of course I do.” Rafe leans down, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You let out a sigh of relief, too soon. “But you have to promise me a couple things, hm?”
“Anything, anything-” it spills out of your mouth, like you can’t get it out fast enough, looking back up at your boyfriend with big eyes, trying to use your hands against his chest to lift yourself up. 
“Promise me you’ll never talk to those Pogues again.”
“I promise.”
“And that you’ll never, ever lie to me again.”
“I promise, Rafe.”
“Good girl.”
He does that thing again, the thing that has you melting in his hands and allowing him to call all the shots. He reaches out to take the back of your head in his hand, leaning you in for a kiss, and you let him do it, just like you let him do everything. 
Rafe kisses you hard, his tongue in your mouth and trails of spit around your lips. When he lets go, you feel him bit down on your bottom lip, and you yelp against his mouth, but it’s silenced because he pulls you into another kiss.
You’re breathless by the end of it, crawling into his lap because you don’t want it to end, craving a lot more than just a kiss and the press of his hard dick against your clothed pussy. 
When he pulls away, you make another noise of displeasure.
“Really?” he questions, and you know it can’t be good. “Do you really think you deserve this dick now? After that shit you just pulled?” He holds you in place on his lap, stopping your grinding motion with his firm hand. Your face heats up immediately, because you know that you don’t. 
“‘M’sorry, dad,” your murmur against the soft skin of his neck. “You already forgave me…”
“Not getting out of this that easily, kid,” and he pulls you by the hair, making your shoulders tense up as you moan again in discomfort. “I think you need to decide your punishment, hm? You’ll get this dick once you get punished.”
You want to scream in annoyance, because Rafe always knows what he’s doing, and right now he’s doing it on purpose. You can feel his hard-on, and if he let you do what you wanted, you’d fall apart in minutes, but he won’t, because he never does.
So you don’t say a thing, because you can’t ever be a brat to Rafe, not for anything longer than five minutes, and you crawl down, off the bed, sitting on your knees on the ground while Rafe adjusts himself to face you from the bed. He looks down at you, perfectly in place, nose still a little red from crying. 
“So, how many?” he questions, watching you stare up at him with big eyes.
“Five,” you start, until you see how Rafe’s looking at you. “T-ten, sorry, ten.” 
“Good girl,” he says, stroking the side of your face with his hand. “Five on each side, hm? That’s what you meant to say, right?”
“Yes, dad,” you murmur back, in a daze at the feeling of Rafe’s hand on your skin.
The first slap, on your right cheek, is light, lighter than you’re used to. It was barely a tap, and you think quickly, while staring at your boyfriend’s face expectantly, if not a little dumbly, that it was nice of him. The next three are harder, and the final one stings. You’re sure it’s red where his hand was, a part of you even hopes it left a mark.
“Five left,” he says quietly, maybe more to himself than to you. You nod, a little too eagerly. “Yeah, kid, you like this? I knew you would. Little freak,” Rafe breathes out. You cling to each word like it’s praise. “Ready for the other side? Yeah?” You nod again.
He’s harder on the other side, maybe because he realized you can handle it. You’ve gotten much harder slaps than these before, but Rafe forgets sometimes, so he always starts gentle. On the ninth one, your eyes get watery. On the tenth, the tears roll down again. Rafe takes his thumb and wipes it across your cheek, like it’ll soothe the sting. 
You go to unbuckle his belt immediately after, thinking you should make him feel good first, as a part of your punishment, but he stops your hands before you get far, taking you by the shoulders and lifting you up into his lap again.
“What’re you doing?” you question quietly.
“I should ask you that.”
“Y-you said I don’t deserve it yet, so I was gonna make you feel good-”
“I didn’t say that, kid,” he says, pressing his big hand against your neck. 
“Yes, you-” he looks at you sharply, and you shut up mid-sentence. 
“No, I said you’ll get it once you’ve been punished. Punishment’s over, hm?” His hand slips underneath your hoodie—his hoodie—and he starts to lift it up. Your hands go up, helping him ease it off. Once it’s discarded on the floor, you lean in for another hard kiss, hands around his neck and legs wrapped around his waist. 
“Easy, easy,” he says, pulling away for a second. “Have to breathe, remember?”
You shake your head and whine, pushing your lips together again. Rafe moves you quickly, your back thudding against the bed and him hovering over you.
You scramble to get rid of your shorts—his shorts—but Rafe’s hands come up and stop yours before you can. Locking eyes with you, he takes them off himself, until you’re fully exposed and lying naked against his pillow.
Another kiss, another whine. You pull the front of Rafe’s shirt.
“Take it off, please,” you whimper, because you just want to get him naked and get on with it, but the tantalizingly slow pace he’s setting is killing you. 
“Really gonna tell me what to do right now? When I’m being so nice?” Your head shakes but you don’t know if you mean it. “Okay. If that’s how you wanna be, okay.”
He flips you over in one motion—your stomach hitting the sheets before you can process it. You don’t hear anything except the rustle of his hands on his belt, the clink of the metal falling, and a groan from Rafe.
And then you feel him—feel what you’ve been begging for this entire time, the nudge of his tip against your folds. Your whole body tenses and your walls clench in anticipation, but Rafe doesn’t move. 
“Rafe—!” the whine leaves before you can think about it. Rafe’s hand reaches out to grab you by your hair, pulling your head up, his mouth against your ear. You feel your nipples harden and pebble in the air, every part of your body craving something, some touch, some movement.
“Y’know, I thought you were gonna be such a good girl,” he starts, and you feel your walls flutter. “But you’re acting like such a slut today. But it’s okay, I’m gonna give you what you want. Then you’ll be good as gold, won’t ya?” You let a whine at the thought, before Rafe lets go and drops you back onto the bed.
In one thrust, Rafe pushes himself in, and your entire body tenses up at the feeling. The stretch of your walls hurts, no matter how used to him you get, and your bones feel like putty. You can hardly hold yourself up, when Rafe starts fucking you at the brutal pace he’s set. 
The stinging of your face disappears from your mind completely while Rafe batters your pussy, his hands on your back, pushing down while you arch up. Your cheek rustles against the pillow. Nothing comes out of your mouth except whines and moans, and the occasional cry when he goes even harder.
“Just needed this dick, huh, kid?” he chokes out, pressing your face into the pillow and watching his dick slide in and out of your pussy—coated in your cream, leaking down and making a mess of his sheets. “Ain’t that right? I asked you a question.”
He grabs your hair again, lifting you just enough so you can speak. 
“Yes! Yes, yes, yes-”
“That’s what I thought-” and he pushes your head down again. “J’needed to be set straight, hm? You won’t ever lie to me again—” Your voice is a mess of garbles and whines, not making any sense but wanting to agree with Rafe so badly. 
Rafe’s fucking you like he hates you, and you don’t have it in you to stop and make sure he doesn’t actually hate you, because the only thing you can think about is making sure he doesn’t stop.
“Or maybe you will,” he starts, in between thrusts. “Just wanna get fucked like this, don’t you? Wasn’t enough for you to get it gentle, right, kid? You’re my little slut-” 
Rafe’s hitting that part of you that makes you see stars—unrelenting, over and over again, but it’s all of those things together—the feel of your nipples rubbing against the bed, how full you feel inside, and especially the words he’s saying—that push you over the edge. You fall apart crying, body shaking, letting out a muffled dad, dad, dad against his pillow. 
He doesn’t stop there, though, riding you through it and then pulling out, just long enough to flip you back over. 
You’re sensitive all over, your walls clenching around nothing while you stare up at Rafe, and then back down to where the two of you were connected. He grips your cheeks again, pushing himself in and staring at your fucked-out face.
He’s way too close to still be fucking you—especially raw, like this—but it’s not until you start speaking that it’s a big problem. You sound all jumbled up since he’s holding your face way too tight, and when he loosens his grip, words fall out of your mouth and he realizes what you’re saying.
“Want it inside, dad, please, please, please, fill me up—” And he finishes, leaning over you and filling your pussy up, just like you asked for. He doesn’t stop for what feels like hours but could only be minutes—you mewl at the feeling and gasp when he pulls out, cum leaking out of your hole and spoiling the sheets even further.
Rafe’s breathless, collapsing beside you and in a much better mood, because he doesn’t complain when you fall against his chest and press your face into his neck. 
He lets you sit like that for a little bit, catching your breath and letting your heart rate return to normal. 
“We made a mess,” you comment, still feeling gushes of his cum spilling out of you. 
“We’ll get it in a minute.” 
He can practically hear your thoughts, buzzing through your little head at a mile a minute, wondering what to say, how he feels, if he's still upset, probably wanting water and a shower too.
You move a little, just to get more comfortable, when Rafe grabs your face again. The side of your jaw is red from where he keeps grabbing you. It’ll leave a bruise tomorrow. He doesn’t care because he’s not planning to let you out of his sight for the foreseeable future.
“Don’t lie to me again, kid. Got it?”
“Yes, Rafe,” you breathe out. "I got it."
“Good. Now let's finish this stupid movie." Rafe lets go of your face, and wraps his arm around you. 
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fbfh · 1 year ago
Text
rodrick x hyperfeminine reader hcs 2
wc: 1.7k
genre: mutual pining, minor angst
pairing: rodrick x hyperfeminine!reader
warnings: houseparty, madison and heather aren't very good friends, one brief mention of alcohol/underage drinking but no one is obviously drunk, Brent keeps flirting with you and can't take a hint but it's annoying and inconvenient at most, minor miscommunication, sad roddy at the end
summary: after getting all dolled up for your party (which is really just an excuse to see rodrick and his band play) you spend the whole night not getting to do the one thing you want to do - see Rodrick.
song rec: teenage dirtbag - wheatus, and I imagine them playing put your money on me - the struts, basket case - green day, and of course, diper overlode - loded diper at the party
a/n: the long awaited part 2 is here!! and yes there will be a part 3 that takes place at prom lol
tags at the bottom (tagging all the people who asked for part 2 as well lol)
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You’ve spent all week planning your party
Now it’s finally friday after school, and Heather and Madison are at your place, taking on the monumental task of deciding what you’re going to wear
You decide on the new pair of heels you got as your inspiration piece
They’re baby pink and strappy, with a butterfly shape made of little diamonds on the front
You’ve been absolutely obsessed with them, and the party seems like the perfect opportunity to break them in
You dig around in your closet, pulling a few of your other pink dresses
It’s not much of a contest when you see them laid out, and you choose the light pink satin one to go with your shoes
You listen to Heather and Madison gossip while you dig through your jewelry and nail polish, finding some coordinating accessories and your next mani pedi color
“Which earrings?” You ask them, holding up two pairs. 
“That one.” They say in unison, pointing to the one on your left
You were leaning toward that pair anyway, so you’re glad they agree
After finalizing some details and going over what they’re going to wear, all your party outfits are planned
Heather and Madison leave to get dressed, promising to be back within the hour so you can all help each other with hair and makeup
You’ve  practically become their personal beauty guru since you became friends
You always know just what to do to make their makeup look flawless and their hair cooperate when it’s being stubborn
You’re a big ball of nerves while you get the last details set up
Snacks are laid out, drinks are set up
Now all you need is the people
And more importantly
The band
As people show up, Heather drags you around to socialize
You swear, she must make you say hi to every single person there
If you were a little more cynical, you might pick up on the fact that Heather is trying to keep you away from Rodrick
Rodrick, who you’ve been thinking about non stop since you first saw him
You spend the whole time looking around for him and his band 
You think you see him across the room once, but it’s a girl with a dark brown pixie cut
It’s hard to tell in this lighting, and you’re glad you caught it before you made a really awkward mistake
You’re sure it would have been a funny anecdote that lead to you being friends after
On your way back, you get stopped by Brad
He insists on pulling you aside to talk, which Heather and Madison encourage
But right now all you want is to find Rodrick
And all Rodrick wants is to find you
They’re almost warmed up and ready for their set
And GOD he’s never been more excited for a gig
He’s so ready to go all out
To impress you
And to avoid all Justin Bieber songs to prevent another Heather’s sweet 16 incident
He fidgets with his drumsticks and looks around again
He still doesn’t see you
Which sucks, because he’s been thinking about this exact moment non stop since loded diper got this dream of a gig
He’s been making the boys practice way more than normal
Much to his parent’s dismay (even though they’re starting to sound pretty good)
To avoid another Heather Hills sweet 16 situation
But more importantly, to impress you
When Rodrick fell asleep every night this week, he had a variation of the same dream
Playing at this party, rocking the house so hard people talk about it for years afterwards, and getting to see you
You’re so beautiful, standing dead center at the front of the crowd, looking up at him the whole time
They barely finish their set when you weave your way through the band, and walk right up to him
His heart is pounding as you start praising him, telling him how good he was, how you want to be his little rockstar’s girlfriend
He usually gets so excited he wakes himself up after that
And now
It’s finally happening
His literal dreams are coming true
His band got a great gig
And he gets to play for you
This is probably the biggest opportunity since battle of the bands 
The guys know how much he’s been looking forward to this
It’s all he’s been talking about
He really thinks that if everything goes perfect, he might be able to shoot his shot with you
He just has to focus
Focus on playing a perfect gig, focus on figuring out how to woo you
Once they’re all warmed up and hyped up, they start their set
You can hear the band starting to tune up from the other room, and try for what feels like the millionth time to slip away from Brent
You’ve had to turn him down more times than you can count, and he still can’t take a goddamn hint
“I really have to go check on my friends…” you trail off, finally slipping into the crowd
You manage to find Madison, who signals to Heather, and soon all three of you are hiding in the bathroom
You catch your breath for a little while, touching up your makeup while Heather checks herself out and fluffs her hair
Madison sits nearby, texting someone
After a little while, you sigh, figuring you should all get back
Heather and Madison share a look while you straighten out your necklace 
Heather walks to the door with Madison right behind her
She pokes her head out of the door, then closes it quickly
“Brent is right down the hall,” she says, turning back to you as Madison nods, “we should wait in here a little longer
It feels like you wait in the bathroom forever while Heather occasionally sending Madison out to check
After a little while you hear faint music
Your stomach drops
You can’t miss the band, the whole point of throwing this party was getting to see Rodrick and loded diper play 
“Did they start already?” you ask, walking toward the door
Heather grabs your arm before you can open it, telling you Brent is still right outside, and sends Madison to go check if the band started yet
Madison comes back a minute later
“They’re still warming up,” she says, sharing a look with Heather
A little while later, the music gets louder and you don’t want to risk missing their show
You leave the bathroom before Heather and Madison can stop you 
You’re met with loud rock music reverberating through the house
Definitely not just warming up
You try to get to the other room where they’re playing so you don’t miss the rest of their set
Before you get very far, Brent catches your eye and cuts through the crowd
He follows you around and keeps trying to pull you aside to flirt and talk and get you to go out with him 
You manage to get to the doorway of the room they’re playing when he pins you against the wall
He’s going on and on about how you’d be perfect together, you’d be lucky to get with him, everyone at school wants him
But all you can think about is how great the band sounds
They’re like a perfect blend of all the best pop punk and rock groups you’ve ever heard
Right off the bat, you pick out influences from green day, my chemical romance, and metallica 
You’re really fucking impressed
You didn’t expect them to be this good, and you didn’t have low expectations to begin with
You just wish you could get away from Brent to really get to see the rest of their set before it’s over
When the song ends, you hear Rodricks voice and stretch up to try and see him as he leans into the mic
“Thank you, we are Loded Diper! Fuck authority!” he looks over at Chris, then leans back into the mic “And the patriarchy!” 
Your stomach sinks as you realize you missed most of their show, but you still cheer louder than anyone else in the room
Rodrick lets out a little puff of air when Chris taps his shoulder, getting his attention
“Uh, listen man…” Chris starts, but Rodrick doesn’t hear what he says after that
He looks over to where Chris is gesturing, and his heart sinks
Brent has you pinned against the wall across the room, and you two are looking awfully cozy together
“Shit…” Rodrick says
Once again, he looks like an idiot for thinking he has a chance with you
“C’mon, let’s get out of here,” Ben says, signaling to Ward to help them bring their stuff back out to the van
They wrap it up and leave quickly, and Ward, Ben, and Chris try to figure out how to help their heartbroken drummer 
You spend the rest of the party looking for Rodrick
You hope he stuck around, you really want to tell him how great he was
When the alcohol runs out and the party’s over, Madison and Heather sleep over, helping you clean up 
Technically Heather makes Madison help you clean up
All they can talk about is prom coming up, but your mind is still on Rodrick
And how you didn’t get to see him
You wish you could have told him how amazing he was
Even if he’s not into you like you’re really, really into him
You just want him to know that you could listen to his music all day and never get tired of it
“...coordinating dates, and-” Heather says, turning to you suddenly, “you’re going to help us pick out dresses, right?” 
You nod, flashing her a smile and hoping to disguise your disappointment at how the night went
“Yeah,” you answer as she goes on about finding you all dates
But you know that if you can’t go to prom with Rodrick, you won’t want to go at all
You just hope by some miracle you’ll get to dance with him, at least once
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twistedbloodstain · 11 months ago
Note
I have two ideas for the marquis de framing that I think you’d do great writing!
1: where the reader is interrogating the marquis (meaning she kidnapped him) and through there, they start to get feelings for each other
2: reader (who had a relationship of some sort with the marquis) fakes their death because they couldn’t take the assassin world. The marquis is devastated (lots of angst hehehe). They meet again while the reader is trying to help someone (maybe John, lol)
3: reader who is part of the high table meets the marquis for the first time. Sorta like live at first sight.
vincent de gramont x reader: i could never give you peace | what’s meant to be is supposed to be
plot: the one where he finds you again.
warnings: the reader’s a medic/healer in here SORRYYY…, she knew john from before, he rats her out lolz, kidnapping except vincent doesn’t do it this time..(yay! cuz he forced someone else to do it!!!), anon im so sorry i focused too hard on one part, i will do an extra (i swear)
masterlist
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“stay still.” you mumble.
mr. wick lets out a small grunt while you sew his wound back together, nothing too fatal (at least in his standards) but without the help of any anesthesia or alcohol to soothe the pain, the assassin had no choice but to follow.
“don’t worry, it's almost done.” you whisper almost finished with patching up the flesh on his back. “and..there..”
he immediately gets off his seat and reaches for his shirt stationed on a random desk scattered with medical supplies. he digs into his suit jacket and fishes out a coin and hands it over to you, you accept it eagerly and begin cleaning up.
“you need any help with transport?” you inquire while you discard your bloodied gloves and utensils.
“yeah.”
“on your way out turn left and find the guy with a gray jacket. he’s one of winston’s men, he’ll help you out. where are you headed?” you inquire while washing your hands. he hesitantly answers before offering a reply.
“paris.”
“oh.” you stop in your movements and look at him. he stands near the door way all dressed up with blood caking his temples, he still looks rugged and in no shape to do what he has to do in pairs but your opinion likely doesn’t matter to him.
“good luck, i guess.” you mutter.
“you’ve been there.” he says.
“i..have.” you hope he doesn’t press any further.
“what’s in paris?” he questions but doesn’t take a step further.
“for you?” you uneasily say, he doesn’t reply.
“a dangerous man. i..think you’ll die trying just to get what you want, mr. wick. but hey, who knows? maybe, it’s now him.” you explain.
“the guy who had the continental demolished, was it him?” he sternly asks.
“..yes, i think it was him.” you confess, avoiding his eyes.
it had been almost three years since you left that country.
three years since you left him.
you can’t even bear to say his name because if you do, all of it will spill out. how he met you, how kept you and how he loved you. 
he nods, “and for you?”
“an even more dangerous man.”
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 ever since mr. wick entered and left your clinic. you've been in a constant state of anxiety. the mere thought and mention of him had you nervous, especially when you heard that he was in new york a few days ago. you thought it was all over, that he found you and was going to rip you from your freedom in this city.
the following news shocked you to your core, the new york continental being demolished was not in your bingo card as to why he’d be here. all because of an excommunicated assassin which you had tended to almost a day after the bombing.
although you’re horrified with the state of events, relief flooded you when you realized he wasn’t there for you. you’d still be safe from him.
but you can’t help but think what all of this means for him. at some point, you know that john wick will kill him, and you somehow played a part in it. you feel a tinge of regret for him but it’s quickly overshadowed with the horrors he’s done and you don’t feel as bad.
he did like you though, when you still worked at france for him as his estate medic. whenever he found himself wounded in the line of fire in an ambush attack, you were the one who tended to his wounds and saw him at his weakest. you don’t know why but a strong sense of trust was established between the two of you.
you thought it to be a friendship but fleeting glances of affection would seep through when you talked or when a large bouquet of flowers suddenly appeared in your clinic after patching him up. 
you toyed with a pin he gave you, his insignia. only he wore it proudly on his coat and truly, it warmed you to him. he did make you feel appreciated, small touches on your back and sometimes fiddling with your hands whenever you sewed his wounds, gave you butterflies in your stomach.
with you he was just…vincent.
soft words and touches with soulful eyes looking into yours, just gentleness and affection present in him. it made you indulge into it too, that he isn’t the cruel man people made him out to be. he isn’t heartless, that’s just how the world is.
a naive perspective.
a perspective that was easily shattered when you’d hear a bloodcurdling scream from the barn, and he walks out with blood on his hands and a disgusted look on his face from his clothes being stained. gunshots echoing beneath the servant’s staircases and thudding bodies being dragged into the secluded forests of the estate. you whisper to yourself those very same words even if all his actions sent chills on your spine.
but the truth of it is that, he is heartless. he is the man people made him out to be and you’re a fool thinking he could be better for you but at the end of the day, he is still the marquis.
it made you think. what if this is all a game to him? what if the moment he finds you uninteresting you become another stain on his suit? 
it’s not a secret that men like him love having delicate pretty things only to break them apart. that’s all you are his current delicate and pretty thing.
you decided to leave. you weren’t staying long enough to find out what would happen to you, feelings be damned when you’re easily replacable to him. you knew that the marquis was like a dog to a bone when he didn’t get the things he wanted, which only pooled fears into your stomach should he find you in new york.
he cannot have you.
you stare at the pin before chucking the pin somewhere in the room, you get up from your chair and begin closing the windows from your clinic.
a knock comes from the door, you chuck the remaining medical materials into a random desk and walk up to the door. wounded assassins aren’t a strange occurrence at this time of the evening but something…felt different.
your gut was telling you to ignore the person on the other side and stay still. you thought that maybe if you didn’t answer the person would go away. wanting to play things safe you don’t mutter a word that would alert them of your presence. it usually worked in some cases.
the knocking persists, much harder and louder now. your hands begins to shake and your eyes start looking around for an emergency firearm to help defend yourself, your actions frantically halt when you hear a voice through the door.
“doc?” a gruff voice asks.
you sight and put a hand on your chest. it’s just john wick. you eagerly open the door to let him in.
“john.” you greet, “come inside.” you invite him as you walk inside.
john doesn’t follow you and a confused expression takes your face, until you take a good look at him. for the first time, john wick doesn’t look wounded to you, his face and hands void of any blood, a new bulletproof suit adorning his body, a french one you notice but it still leaves you questioning things.
“i’m assuming france went successful.” you say.
“…it’s close.” he pauses before replying, seeming as if he’s finding the right words to say.
“what do you need?” you question.
“it’s winston. he’s been shot.” you freeze.
oh dear. you never really approved of the things he did but a soft spot was always present for him and charon. they helped you settle here in new york, but winston took you in even when he knew of your history with vincent. you swore to always help him in ways you could and now the opportunity presented itself.
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the car sped down the street with you and john in tow. you hold your medical kit close to your lap, feeling uneasy with the thought of losing the old man. charon had been so recent and you don’t think you bear to lose the friends you’ve made along the way.
you glance at john and he looks calm and composed as usual, eerily so. a week earlier he was calm but you could feel his anger and determination simmering underneath his skin. now it looked like he was taking a walk in a park. you eye him carefully, uneasiness seeping in your stomach.
“did they give it to you?” you ask, he looks at you before clearing his throat.
“just an extension.” he answers, knowing exactly what you were referring to.
“to do what?” you ask again, john doesn’t budge and continues driving, ignoring your question. your eyes stay on him but he doesn’t look at you.
silence settles into the car and you lean back in your seat. you really wish your brought your gun with you right now. you don’t know why but you have a feeling that something is wrong right now, especially with john. he’s not telling you something.
or maybe it really is none of your business. perhaps he wanted to spare the bloody details of how he’s going to win his freedom back. you relax and try to forget the uneasiness, trying to remember that winston is the priority right now, you shut your eyes. all of your fears are gathering together and it’s making you overthink your interaction with john, everything’s okay.
the loud sound of drilling makes you open your eyes, you look at the window and you see a familiar street. 
the new york continental was being rebuilt.
your apprehensiveness returns.
“john?” you look at him once again, “who shot winston?”
“he got hit during the line of fire.” this time he replies.
bullshit. winston would have an emergency plan before the shooting started.
“in new york?” you press.
“yeah.”
another bullshit. you could see through his lies, he’s clearly fresh out of france. what was he trying to do? 
“j-john.” you voice shakes almost as if you’re begging. something happened in france, something that saved both winston and john.
he looks at you with regret in his eyes. not enough to save you for what’s about to come.
“where are you taking me?” you sputter, your heart beating fast in anxiety, “i’ve done nothing but help you, please don’t do this!”
“he took winston with him and he found out.” he quietly defends.
“please help me, i don’t want to go back!” you begin crying, tears rolling down your face, “he’ll kill me!” 
he makes no reply and continues driving. with no hope left with him, you try to open your side of the door. he immediately notices this and grabs your arm trying to stop you from leaving, you begin hitting him with your other arm.
you know that he doesn’t want to do this but it feels so unfair. you’ve saved his life only to throw yours away.
“let go of me!” you scream.
“i’m sorry.” 
you feel a prick in your neck.
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you feel a heavy sensation pulling at your leg, your eyes feeling groggy still wanting to keep your lids closed. however the sensation persists and this forces you to open your eyes and sit up.
a dark room welcomes you, only a small lamp helping you take a small look of where you are. specifically, on a plush bed and a decorated room. your body feels heavy  from exhaustion which makes you lean back to the pillow behind you.
pondering what made you feel so tired when you haven’t done much for the night, you’ve sewn back together…a pair of assassins for the night? or was it three? two austrians and…who?a french? no…no..it was winston. 
that’s right.
wait.
only you didn’t treat winston.
you bolt up, your body seemingly sobers from the realization.
john brought you here in exchange for his freedom. 
you look around to see some sort of presence in the room but with the darkness it was hard to tell, nevertheless you hopped off the bed and bolted to the wooden door nearby. no wonder the place looked familiar, only the marquis would have a place as frivolous as this.
you need to leave right now. your hand reaches for the door until you find your body being slammed on the floor. a groan leaves your throat, in pain you massage your forehead and look around.
oh goodness.
a gasp leaves your mouth when you see a chain wrapped around your ankle, you inspect your foot before tracing the lines of chains, which were sourced on the thick foot of the bed you were on.
you tug it to check its strength and to see how long it actually goes. it was long enough to walk around the room but not long enough to reach the door. this is basically your fully furnished torture chamber. 
fuck. fuck. fuck.
a loud creak echoes through the room.
you really hate how things are right now.
he’s going to kill you. kill you for leaving him, how you easily made him look humiliated for being abandoned.
feeling your knees weaken you sit back on the bed and your hands shake in trepidation. the marquis’ simple presence made you scared of him, you felt tears falling down once again and you lowered your head, not wanting to look weak right now.
his footsteps are heard through the room, the door loudly closes shut, a thud echoing. he doesn’t say a word.
you feel everything leave your body. hope,freedom and life mostly.
he walks up to you until you see his shoes on the floor, a blurry sight entering your eyes due to the tears, he touches you, tilting your chin upwards and you do everything not to flinch. was he going to snap your neck?
you look at him and he still looks the same, slightly more mature.
but the same man you met a few years ago, if you jumped back into your rose tinted glasses, you’d probably see the vincent you cherished at some point if you weren’t so frightened right now.
he inspects you, his eyes wandering through your face. searching for something that’s supposed to be there, his lips part almost as if he’s about to say something but you beat him to it.
“i-i’m sorry. i’m sorry.” apologies spill out of your lips, wanting to take the chance of saving yourself, “i-i’m so sorry! i didn’t mean to.” you cry. your hand reaches up to his hand that held your chin and you grip it for mercy, his hold on you weakens.
he doesn’t say anything and leans forward to you. you need him to say something, anything, whether it meant he’d simply say he wants yuu dead.
“please forgive me, just please don’t kil-“ he cuts you off.
with a kiss.
not a firm one but a surprisingly soft kiss on your lips.
he takes your hands into his and fiddles with it, trying to find his place in them just like before, he halts the kiss and leans towards your face. the man right in front of you wasn’t the marquis, it was vincent. 
your vincent.
the one with soft eyes looking at you with relief and adoration. the gaze that looked at you as if you were the most precious thing on earth, he wipes the tears on your cheeks and the next thing he says dissolves all sense of worry out of you.
“i could never hurt you.” he whispers.
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author’s note: this kinda doesn’t make sense bc im so braindead rn to expand things but basically vincent finds medic!reader through winston and in exchange for the continental and john’s freedom, john brings medic!reader back to vincent. so basically she got ratted out lolz. this would work better if i made a vincent pov would be fun but i have a bunch of prompts to work on…(tempting) + he literally chained her down to him (hshshsh marriage allegory…) i kinda want to be funky dynamic of obsessed man + “ngl what’s wrong with this guy but i vibe with it” woman
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wardenparker · 16 days ago
Text
Bones Full of Words, ch 12
Javier Peña x plus size reader Co-written with @absurdthirst
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“He pleaded so much that he lost his voice. His bones began to fill with words.” ― Gabriel García Márquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude
Javier Peña had no way of knowing for certain the American journalist he sometimes sees sniffing around the embassy for her stories is also getting information about the narcos from the same girls that he is. After Helena is brutalized by sicarios, it is that same journalist who comes to take her away and look after her -- giving Javi reason to pause and reconsider his opinion of the woman he had previously not considered as anything more than eye candy.
He has no idea that once she has walked fully into his life, he will be battling with himself over whether or not he should stop her from walking out it of again.
Rating: M for Mature but this blog is always 18+ Word Count: 13k Warnings: *Blanket warnings for this series: sex work, time period appropriate sexism, cursing, alcohol, food/eating, talk of weight or size, fatphobia, internalized fatphobia, self-esteem issues, canon typical violence* Fluff, sass, flirting, it's a whole chapter of domestic fucking bliss as displayed by two people very horny for each other. Summary: Booted back to the States after the DEA puts him on notice, Javi runs into an unexpected and familiar face at his cousin's wedding. Notes: Next week will be the epilogue for Javi and his writer, and then we will be on to the next soulmate story! Thank you so much to everyone who came along on this journey with us. It really has been so fantastic. 🧡 As always, I apologize for any errors I might have missed in proofreading.
Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7 ~ Ch 8 ~ Ch 9 ~ Ch 10 ~ Ch 11
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There is no sinking, sick feeling like you expected. Only the knowledge that rolling over to dig out and light up a cigarette before talking will be something you share, skin to skin and heart to heart, with your soulmate.
"Alright." When you turn back into his side again you take a drag of the cigarette before handing it over to him. "Where do you want to start?"
Javi takes the cigarette and inhales slowly, eyes slipping closed as the nicotine rush hits him on the first puff. They can claim all they want to about cocaine, it’s not got shit on a cigarette. He holds it for a second before blowing it out. “I meant what I said.” He wants that written in stone, right now. “It’s not a heat of the moment thing, I love you.” He repeats softly, eyes opening and focusing on you.
"I've been in love with you since before I left to come home." You tell him softly, accepting the cigarette when he passes it back and embracing the intimacy of sharing it. "It hit me when I was living with you, actually..."
“When you were kidnapped.” Javi admits, watching as you take a slow drag off the cigarette and savor it just like he did. “I fucking nearly rubbed my - your tattoo raw, checking to make sure it was there.” His hand reaches for your thigh since you are still propped up and he squeezes it. “I didn’t think I needed to pile that onto you when you were so broken.”
"I needed to come home." That is an absolutely certainty. You needed to get away. To heal. And that never would have been possible if you had stayed in Colombia. "But I don't have the nightmares nearly as much anymore and I'm going a lot better. It's—it too a long time. But yes." Passing the cigarette back again, you have the good manners to look a little sheepish. "That's why I was so shitty while Elisa was around. I was jealous."
“Connie chewed my ass when she found out you were my soulmate.” Javi promises you. “I didn’t think that you cared at first. You were so adamant that our being soulmates was not an issue.” It had stung at the time, wounded his pride and hit at his ego. He had always expected his soulmate to swoon at his feet, or shit would be even easier than it was with most women. It was why he had bristled at the fact and inadvertently caused so much pain for both of you. He shrugs apologetically. “I’m an asshole.”
"I just don't think we were in the right place. Either of us." It's something that you've given a lot of thought over the years and you hope that that is abundantly obvious. "We were far too focused on our careers and couldn't see the forest for the trees. We didn't believe in balance." Sighing slightly, your eyes tick up again to find his and you bite your lip out of nerves. "I believe in balance now."
He chuckles quietly. “I don’t know if I have a job.” He reminds you. “But I know that I want you.” It’s something that has been obvious since the moment he saw you talking to Lorraine. You had appeared back in his life and he wasn’t going to waste a second chance. “What do you want?”
"You." This time you aren't hesitating. You aren't waiting and you aren't waffling. There is no path forward that doesn't include Javi now that he's back in your life. "Everything else is negotiable."
The cigarette is passed back to him and he flicks the ashes into the tray in the other side of the bed, twisting away from you for just a moment before he is facing you again. “We are settled on that.” He agrees, smiling softly in relief. “Now we just have to figure out six million little details.”
"Only six million?" You smirk at him and settle back against his chest again. "Piece of cake. Wanna start with the basics?"
“Which are?” He asks with a snort. “I’ve always thought two kids, but if you want more, I guess we can decide on a number.”
"Two is good." That smirk curls your whole mouth, turning your expression into a grin. "I was thinking more like...where are we going to live?"
“Well…shit.” He chuckles and the hand that isn’t stroking the little pooch of your stomach curls behind his head to prop it up. “That’s a good one. You want me to move to Rhode Island?” He asks. “I’m not too fond of the snow, but I’ll do it.”
"I at least want you to come up and meet my family." You bargain, turning your head so you don't blow smoke from your last drag back in his face. "If you get up there and decide winter is more horrifying than you expected, we can pivot and I'll come down here."
“Summer is shit here.” He points out, wanting to be honest. “It’s a million fucking degrees. So hot you don’t even want to fuck.”
"So it's either winter so cold you freeze when you try to fuck naked, or summer so hot you don't want to fuck at all." You snort in amusement. "Maybe we should move to the middle of California or something."
He curls his nose at that suggestion. “No California.” He huffs. “They are too fucking….Californian.” He doesn’t have a good reason to not like it, but he doesn’t. “Murphy said Miami wasn’t bad.”
"Hot and humid." Which sounds even better than hot on its own. "I don't know if there's a perfect solution, baby. We may just have to pick the one that has something we really love about it and deal with the bad parts that go with it."
“Texas is home for me and Rhode Island is home for you.” He muses. “So we just say fuck it and move to someplace we want.” He looks at you seriously. “Are you done writing? Permanently?”
"I'm done with journalism." That doesn't necessarily mean you'll never write again, but it means you won't be trotted out to rehash the most traumatic week of your life every single time anyone wants to talk to you. "Working in a kitchen has been good for keeping me busy, but I don't know if I want to do it forever."
“Why don’t you transition to a different avenue?” He asks seriously. “Your articles are better researched, plotted and presented than most books I’ve read.”
"I used to really like writing short stories." Tilting your head slightly lets you rest against him completely as you sink down under the blanket with him again and you shrug a little in his arms. "I could give it a shot. I can write in between restaurant shifts. It'll be easy enough to get a line cook job whereever we choose."
“If I don’t have a job with the DEA…” he sighs. “I’ve been offered a deputy position but I’m sure I could get on anywhere.” It doesn’t help make a decision, but he rocks you closer to his body. “But I should be able to support you if you wanted to do it full time.”
"Let's see if I can write anything good enough to actually sell." He's soft and warm and so comforting like this that you could just melt. "If you have a job offer here, let's stay here. There's plenty of restaurants in the area that I can work in for now, and your Pops is here."
“You would want to move here?” Javi’s surprised but he hums as he thinks about it. “There’s a little ranch down the road that’s about to go on the market.” He considers. “Owner died and it’s going through probate.”
“Didn’t we say once that Texans and New Englanders aren’t so different?” All of those early conversations with him are burned into your memory. Years later and you haven’t forgotten a single one of them. “I’m sure I’ll adjust in no time. Ranch, little house, whatever you think will work. You know this place far better than I do.”
“I think before we decide anything, I should probably visit your home, right?” He smirks slightly. “It would only be fair.” He wants to see where you grew up, meet your mother. Things that he had never really contemplated ever having to do, but now he is glad that you aren’t someone he’s known his entire life.
“It’s chilly but not snowy yet.” You promise him, smiling reflexively at the idea of bringing Javier home with you for a little bit. “Fall is the best time to see New England.”
He thinks about that for a moment and then nods. “When would be a good time for me to come?” He doesn’t ask if you want him to just come back with you, that might be too much.
“Well…” A soft laugh escapes you and your cheeks burn. “I’m going back on Monday morning. You could always come with me?”
“You would be okay with that?” His brow lifts in surprise. He had expected you to want to talk to your family first.
“I’ll call my mom tomorrow and let her know, but I don’t think she’ll mind.” You reach up to kiss him, reveling in the warmth of it. “She knows about you. My brothers…I didn’t want to talk about it much. But my mother knows.”
He winces slightly, knowing that by all rights, your mother should have a dismay opinion on him. “How bad should I expect it?” He tone is joking, but only slightly.
“She’ll be skeptical for about an hour after I hang up the phone with her, but if I’m happy then she’s happy.”
“If you want me to come with you on Monday, I’ll call the airline.” He promises, knowing that he owes you a lot more than just a potentially awkward first meeting with your mother. “What time is your flight?”
“Eleven in the morning.” Your eyes tick up to his, concern lining the edges of joy. “That’s not too soon? Too dramatic? We were literally just talking about where to live together and how many kids we want.”
“I’ll be on that flight.” He promises, leaning in and pressing his lips to yours. “Just gotta make sure D.C. knows how to get ahold of me.”
“I’ll write down my phone number for you.” A promise, as silly as it is, that makes the thing seem all the more real. “I’ve been living with my mom again. It’s easier.”
“Would you rather I get a hotel room?” He asks. “I don’t want to impose.”
“No.” Shaking your head, you feel a little silly for it but you’re certain when you look back up at him. “I want to have you with me. We’ve wasted enough time apart.”
“You are staying here tonight.” He agrees. “Hopefully your brother won’t be worried about you. You left without saying anything.”
“I should probably call the hotel and leave a message,” you admit. “Michael is protective.”
Javi nods. “Do you want to go get your stuff?” He asks. “Or would you rather me stay at your hotel?”
“We can go get my stuff in the morning.” Right now all you care about is snuggling into his side. “I’ll call tonight but I just want to stay here with you.”
“You looked beautiful.” He murmurs softly. “Today. Everyday really, but you looked really beautiful today.”
“Not every day.” The tendency to deflect compliments is long ingrained, but from him they make your cheeks burn.
“Every day.” He repeats, not letting you even doubt that for a second. “You don’t see it? You have this…softness. Even when you have to be strong. A grace and kindness that is bone deep.”
“Softness has always been my issue,” you gripe, though you wave it away. “I’m just glad the diet is working. But…it’s very sweet of you.” Fucking hell you’re bad at taking compliments. “I always admired your resolve, honestly. And attention to detail. Even when it frustrated me it was still impressive.” That grin returns to your lips full force. “The broad shoulders and cut jaw line don’t hurt either.”
There’s a few inches of skin on your side that Javi pinches gently in his hand as he frowns at you playfully. “I love this softness.” He growls, leaning in and biting the bottom of your lip.
“I’m glad.” You laugh softly, never doubting that he means it. Not after everything. “Because two kids will mean plenty of softness.”
“That’s if you want to do that.” Javi says seriously. “If you don’t, I’ll understand.”
“Three always felt like my mom was chasing us.” You hate it but you have to sit up again. Calling Michael’s hotel before you sleep is nonnegotiable. “But being an only child sounds lovely. Two is good.”
“Compromise, is that what it sounds like?” Javi snorts. “You are the one that says how many kids you have.”
“Can I ask you something else?” It seems like the time, considering how honest and open you’re being with each other. And considering what you’ve already talked about tonight.
“You can ask me anything.” He promises, looking up at you. The cigarette is long since smoked, crushed out in the ashtray, but the intimacy and lingering closeness still hovers in the air.
“I just wondered.” It feels silly, but considering where you were today maybe it isn’t. “If you ever wanted to get married? Or if Lorraine spoiled that for you.”
He sighs softly, looking up at the ceiling while he thinks about what he wants to say. “I figured one day it would happen.” He admits. “I knew I should have been happy to marry her, back when I thought she was the one. But something never felt right and I twisted that into believing it wasn’t for me, but I thought I would eventually find someone.” He looks back at you and licks his lips. “But I’d marry you.” He nods.
“I’m not talking about a wedding.” Clarification seems important in this moment, even when the gentle affection in his expression is so real. “A marriage is a life together. A wedding? They’re nice but I don’t think they’re necessary.”
“You wouldn’t want something like today?” He asks curiously. “Family and friends?”
“Not if you wouldn’t enjoy it.” That is what matters to you most. A wedding is a great party but only if the couple both enjoy it when it happens. Otherwise it’s just parading around for a day in clothes you’ll only wear once. “I guess what I mean is that I never envisioned a big white wedding for myself so I wouldn’t be disappointed not to have it. What I care about is having a partner to spend my life with.”
“I don’t mind a wedding.” He has thought about that quite a bit, especially after one particularly vivid dream of you in a white dress. It had haunted him for weeks after having it and it was the closest he came to calling you after you left.
“That’s the road to getting my mother to love you.” It’s both the truth and a bit of teasing, and you don’t mind that. Not really. Not when you know that these conversations — this compromise — is a big and new step for the two of you. The two of you. As a couple. “You brought up kids first and you’re the one who wants a wedding. You’ll be her favorite son instantly.”
He snorts. “I’ll make sure that I bring that up.” He jokes, even though he will follow your lead on interacting with your mom. “Pop will love you. And he thinks it’s funny as hell that you are just as stubborn as me.”
“The universe decided it would be cruel to give us anything less than a taste of our own medicine.” A taste that you deal with a gentle, loving kiss. “I should call the hotel. Before I forget or get distracted by my soulmate some more.”
“You do that.” He smacks your ass when you start to get up and smirks when you whirl around and glare at him. “Got a phone on the dresser.” He points out. “Don’t even have to get dressed.”
“Helpful.” You send that smirk right back at him and shake your head, then cross his room to make the call. To your surprise, your brother actually picks up when the front desk transfers you to the room.
“Are you okay? Where are you? I’ll pick you up.” Your brother rushes out, obviously worried when he came back to the room to find you not there. “Why the hell did you leave without saying anything?”
“I’m so sorry.” Turning back to look at Javi, you cringe apologetically. “But I’m fine. I left with Javier.” The man himself is lying in bed watching you with hooded eyes and you bite your lip. “I’m gonna stay here tonight and come get my stuff from the hotel in the morning, okay?”
“Javier? The guy you were kissing on the dance floor?” His voice ticks up in surprise but he’s relieved that you are okay. You are a grown ass woman, but your time in Colombia and him coming so close to losing you had made him a little protective. “Some chick named Lorraine was going around telling people that he and you are soulmates.”
“We are, Mickey.” The childhood nickname has been on the shelf for a lot of years, but your voice softens with affection — both for him and for Javi. “I had no idea, but your buddy Danny is his cousin.”
If you could see his face, you would laugh at him and call him a fish, mouth hanging open and eyes wide. “You— he’s your soulmate?” He asks, sure that he had misheard or you are yanking his chain. “Are you sure?”
"I'm sure." He must be in shock if he isn't teasing or needling you for details, but you can understand that. "Remember before the wedding, I told you he was from here? I wasn't specific. We're literally in his hometown."
“Jesus Christ, I didn’t put it together. I couldn’t imagine when you said Javier you meant Javier.” He frowns, trying to remember what the guy looks like, “He kind of looks like Burt Reynolds, right?”
You snort at the comparison but nod, not bothering to hide your giggles when you look right at Javier and agree. "Yeah, I guess he does kind of look like Burt Reynolds."
He rolls his eyes at you and flips you off, although there is a tiny edge of a smirk on his face. Burt Reynolds had done this pose on a bear skinned rug a few years ago, so Javi flips onto his side and cups his cock while he poses like Burt had while laying across the bed.
When you burst out laughing your brother grunts in confusion, and you have to dismiss it away quickly. "Nothing, nothing," you assure him through laughs. "Javi just flipped me off for the comparison." After a few seconds you calm down again, and shift the phone on your shoulder. "Listen, I'm...I'm gonna call Mom tomorrow. Javi's going to come home with us on Monday to meet her and see the old neighborhood."
“Wow.” He sounds impressed but he agrees. “Sure. I won’t say a word. I just came back to the hotel to change and check on you anyway. Be safe.” He tells you and then murmurs your name. “I love you.” He promises. “And I’m happy you are spending time with your soulmate.”
"I love you too, Mickey. Go have fun with your friends and we'll see you around noon tomorrow so you can sleep off whatever bullshit you get into with your buddies tonight." A round of good nights punctuate the phone call before you hang up and slide back across the room, ready to climb back in bed with Javier. "Lorraine was talking about us after we left," you tell him, smirking. "Everybody in Texas already knows we're soulmates, apparently."
He hadn’t expected anything less, but he shifts to sit up. “Does that upset you?” He asks. “Lorraine was probably trying to spin it, or claim some hand in us finding each other.”
"Baby, she can shout it from the rooftops and I'll just repeat it with pride." You climb onto the mattress and snuggle into his side happily. "I love you."
He softens, folding you against his side. His arm wraps around your back and hums happily. “I love you too, sweetheart.” He repeats back to you, feeling a long yearned for sense of peace as you lay with him.
******
"I know my mom is going to want to feed us as soon as we get back to the house but I swear I'm still full from breakfast." Groaning slightly as you get off the plane, you lean into Javi's side and sigh. Chucho had made you and the boys a big 'going away breakfast' before you left for the airport this morning and even though it was early, everything is bigger in Texas.
“I swear that I’ve never seen that man cook as much as he had for you.” Javi snorts as he shoulders the bag that you had wanted to bring on the plane. His own bag was checked along with your other bag. Guiding you towards the baggage claim.
"Dad used to do the same thing." Michael tells him, trailing just a pace or two behind. He pokes your shoulder and grins. "This one brings out the caretaking instinct in fathers."
“Pop was thrilled to meet her. And it’s been a long time since there was a woman in the house.” He smiles as he takes your hand. “He wanted to make a better impression than me.”
"I promised to take Polaroids while we're up here. He wants to see New England, too." Javier's father had taken to you immediately and without question, and you had relished the opportunity to warm up to your soulmate's father. "I think I'm going to put together a Rhode Island care package to bring to him when we go back to Texas."
“He would love that.” He had enjoyed watching his father fuss over you and how you had responded to the fatherly presence. It had been a long time since Chucho had someone to fuss over and you both seemed to enjoy it. “The man loves gifts, no matter how much he protests.”
“I am not above bribing my future father-in-law for his affection,” you half-joke, though just the sentence makes you feel warm and fuzzy.
“You don’t have to bribe him.” Javi promises. “He might have already put you in his will and written me out.” He had laughed when he had seen how thrilled Chucho was with you, although it had choked him up when the older man had pointed out how like his mother you are.
"Makes sense." The grin on your face is unapologetic, and you keep close to Javi's side as Michael goes hunting up and down the conveyor belt to find his own suitcase. "My mother will love you that much, too. We're just trading parental affection."
He chuckles. “He does know the luggage will come to us, right?” He asks, watching your brother in amusement.
“Impatience is a family trait,” you tell him, entirely unphased by Michael’s unnecessary pursuit. You’re used to it by now.
“I’m not even that bad.” Javi snorts and rolls his eyes. The past couple of days have included both interrogation by your brother and teasing. He hadn’t had the heart to tell the Marine that he’s done more intense interrogations than he would ever dream of.
Leaning into his side again, you put one arm around Javi’s waist and kiss his cheek. “The most patient thing anyone in our family has ever done was the years I waited to see you again.”
“Then I don’t know if I’m impressed or insulted now.” He teases, smirking when you pout at him and lean in to press his lips to yours.
“Be impressed.” You murmur, grinning against his lips when your brother clears his throat.
Javi glances over your shoulder, still kissing you and he smirks when he sees the way he’s shifting uncomfortably. Like it’s strange that you are kissing someone.
"Okay, I'm gonna go find Mom." He says finally, when he has shifted his feet enough times to catch Javier looking at him and knows he's being intentionally needled at.
Reluctantly pulling away from your soulmate, you snag your suitcase that has somehow appeared at your feet — Michael's searching probably — and thread your fingers through Javier's. "We'll all go, don't get your tighty-whities in a twist."
Javi spies his own bag and grabs it, throwing it over his shoulder. “We’re all set.” He promises, shrugging slightly at your brother.
"She said she'd be at arrivals with the car. We should be able to find her easily." You might walk a little faster out of enthusiasm, but that's alright. Your mother was already talking about what she was going to cook to welcome Javier to the family before you hung up the phone with her yesterday.
It’s amusing that you are almost outpacing him, picking up speed and he has to shuffle a little faster to keep up with you. “Excited?”
"Maybe." And you aren't apologetic for it in the least, inhaling the cool autumn air the second you walk out the door between the two men. It only takes a second of scanning the curb full of parked cars to spot your mother and you tug Javier in her direction immediately. "Mom!" She's parked almost all the way down, so you wave and hustle along with Javier and Michael laughing behind you.
Your mother looks like you, or – you look like her. Both of you falling into the hug like it’s been years rather than days since you’ve last laid eyes on each other. “Are they always like this?” He asks Michael.
"Yeah." Your brother nods, shifting his bag to his other hand. "Since she got back, anyway."
Javi sighs softly, knowing that some of that is his fault and he tries to not let the pang of guilt bring down the mood in this first meeting.
There is whispering between you and your mother, but it only takes a few moments before you step back and your mother is walking out toward the two men like a woman on a mission. Without a single second of hesitation, she wraps Javier up in a welcoming hug and holds on tight. "I'm glad to finally meet you." She says close to his ear, because there is no other place for her to speak.
He is surprised by the warm greeting, but his own arms lock around her and he hugs her back. “It’s my pleasure.” He promises. “You have one hell of a daughter.”
"Don't I know it." There is a smile on her face when she draws back, but her hands stay on Javier's shoulders and seriousness in her eyes. "Thank you for making sure she came home to me safely. From the bottom of my heart."
“I was going to at least give her that.” He hums. “Even if we weren’t together then, she was important to me. Her safety was important, and her happiness.”
"Okay, guys..." Wiping away a bit of silent water from under your eyes, you basically flail your hands at your mother and soulmate to urge them to save this heartfelt moment for someplace more private. "Maybe we should go back to the house? Before I get all choked up over here."
Your mom agrees and pulls back and reaches for the handle of your bag, but Javier shakes his head. “I’ve got it.” He insists.
"She said you were a gentleman." Your mother beams. "Come on, guys. Everybody pile in, I've got a lasagna in the oven and your Uncle Carmie dropped off wine last night."
He follows your lead and trails after you as you walk beside your mom, already chatting intensely and it’s interesting to see how open you are with her.
You pile into the backseat with Javier and let your brother sit up front, returning to that new habit you’ve found of leaning into his side whenever you are next to your soulmate. “The drive isn’t long,” you promise him, bucking your seatbelt just before your mother pulls into traffic. “Nothing is too far apart here.”
“That doesn’t bother me.” He has lived in cities and on the ranch where the earnest neighbor was three miles away. Both of them have their pros and cons and he is adaptable. If you wanted to live here, he would grumble when he shoveled snow but he would do it. Couldn’t be much different from shoveling manure.
“The old joke is that if you have to drive more than a half an hour in Rhode Island, that’s a day trip and you have to pack a lunch,” your mother jokes from the front seat. “I imagine Texas is a different animal altogether.”
He snorts. “You can drive all day and still not be out of the state.” He tells you. “If you only drive half an hour, it’s just a quick trip to town.”
“Exactly.” Your mother laughs, putting her attention back on the road. “We’re the smallest state with the biggest attitude.”
“I’m learning that.” Javi hums, winking at you and then looking back out the window.
******
It really doesn't take long to get home again, and you give Javi the complete-if-brief tour of your house ending in your bedroom. It's a huge relief now that you've redecorated since high school. Javi did not need to see all your old heartthrob posters up on the walls.
“She seemed to like me.” He sets your bag down and puts his own beside it, looking around your room. Honestly a little surprised that he has been put with you, he had expected to sleep in a guest room and have to sneak into your bed.
"That's because I was honest with her about the fact that I wouldn't have survived the kidnapping if you hadn't worked your ass off to find me." You take a second to dig out a sweater for an extra layer before tucking yourself into his side, but the warmth from him is better than the sweater you found anyway. "I figured we could tell her the rest together. But she knows you saved my life, Javi. Nothing could make her not like you after that."
"You would have survived." Javi is sure of that now. He might have been a hair's breath away from unravelling then, but now he is completely sure of the fact that you would have found some way to escape. "I know you would have. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for."
"Who knows what would have happened." Exploring the possibilities was important in therapy, but the fact is that he did save you, and you will forever be grateful to him for that. "What matters is that we're both here now."
“We are here.” He smirks. “In your childhood bedroom.” He will definitely be making a few fantasies that he’s entertained since planning this trip come to life.
“That doing something for you, hermoso?” The twist of his lips and raise of his eyebrow isn’t just teasing anymore. You know that look now. It’s a promise.
“Have you ever fucked in here?” He asks, voice dipping down lower, something he’s discovered makes you wet. His arms slide around your back and his groin presses firmly into you. “Or have you just fingered that pretty cunt in this bed?”
“Fuck, Javi—” You have to swallow the rest of your groan so you don’t get carried away, but your arms are up around his neck instantly and you all but purr in his arms. Squirming has the added benefit of rubbing your torso against him and you grin when his smirk flickers in arousal. “No, I haven’t fucked in here yet. You offering?”
“’Course I am.” He snorts, making his cock twitch on purpose. “We can unpack later.”
“Defiling my childhood innocence first thing?” The leering look in his eyes is tinged with sweet affection, though, which makes you grin. “I like it.”
He chuckles, tilting his head to press his lips to yours, enjoying that soft welcome that comes every time. You lean into him, want him just as badly as he wants you and it’s quickly becoming his new obsession.
It’s not more than ten minutes from start to finish, but you’re panting and giggly, wrapped around him when he pulls you back into his arms after wrecking both of you with seemingly little effort. “That’s how long it takes to unpack, right?” You snicker, stealing more kisses before you bother to get redressed.
“Didn’t see you complaining.” He huffs, but he’s grinning back at you. “Sometimes quickies are the best kind of fucking.”
“I would not complain.” One more kiss and you have to pull up your pants, otherwise you’ll just drag him into that bed again. “If I ever complain, take me to a doctor because I’ve been body-swapped.”
“That would be a damned shame too.” He reaches out and slaps your ass playfully. “Happen to like this body, and the attitude that’s in it. When she’s not yelling at me.” He teases, winking at you with a smirk.
"I haven't yelled at you once in the last few days." You smirk, returning the ass smack with a sharp crack of your hand and that has both of you raising impressed eyebrows. "Screaming your name is different."
“You can scream my name as loud as you need to, sweetheart.” Javi chuckles and waggles his eyebrows playfully. The past few days have been filled with lighthearted banter and teasing, making him feel younger than he has in years.
“Later.” It’s a promise. Set in stone. And you toss him a wink before getting redressed. “We should go back down, cariño. I think I finally burned off enough of what your dad fed us for breakfast to be hungry for lunch.”
“Then let’s go get something to eat.” He agrees, holding out his hand for you to take. He likes touching you, loves it actually. It’s reassuring and calming for him to touch you. It’s like the part of him that he didn’t know was aching while you were gone is now soothed and repaired when his fingers caress your skin.
“Can I ask you a serious question?” In the doorway of your old room, holding hands with your soulmate, you bite your lip out of nerves.
“You can ask me anything.” The lightheartedness has morphed into something sober, but he doesn’t waver, holding your gaze.
“If you don’t want to have the conversations with my family about marriage or kids or the big future things, it’s totally fine. Everything has happened really fast. So if you only want to tell them about moving to be together, that’s okay with me.” It’s not exactly a question, the way you phrased it, but the thought tumbles out without editing and you hold tight to his hand for certainty. You’re not trying to wiggle out of anything, but rather saying that you’ll take things at his pace.
“Baby,” Javi turns towards you and he caresses your face with his free hand, still holding tight to your other one. “I’ll answer any question that they want to ask.” He promises. “Most of them are yours to answer anyway.” He reminds you. “You decide when you want to get married, or be pregnant.”
"I just don't want you to feel rushed. Or pressured." You clarify, leaning into his chest to hug him tight.
“I’ve had my entire life to wait for this moment.” He assures you. “I’m not feeling rushed, sweetheart. I think we need to be right here.”
"I love you." More than you thought you could. More than you ever expected to. So much that it feels like it's filling up your chest and you hope it never stops.
******
"There you two are." Your mother has the entire table filled with food when you come downstairs, exactly as you predicted, and you give Javi's hand a squeeze as if told say 'I told you so'.
"Sorry, I was showing Javi some old photos after we unpacked," you lie, neatly brushing away the extra time you were upstairs. And making a mental note to show him some high school photos later.
"Hmmmm." The sound that she makes is one of amused disbelief but she doesn't call you out directly. Instead, she motions towards the seats. "Come on, let's eat." She insists.
"So this is what it takes to get you to make lasagna, huh?" Instead of lingering on the question or her obvious disbelief, you trend straight toward teasing — as is your entire family's custom. "One of your kids has to bring home their soulmate to make it happen?"
“Figured it was as good a time as any.” She swats at you playfully and looks towards Javier. “Do you drink wine?”
"Uncle Carmie's homemade basement hooch is an acquired taste, Ma," you laugh, but reach to grab the bottle from the counter anyway before you sit down. "Try some of mine, babe. If you like it, then pour a glass for yourself."
“We made bathtub hooch in high school.” Javi snorts, looking at the bottle and pouring himself some instead of trying yours like you suggested. If he doesn’t like it, he’ll just have the one glass.
"Brave man." Michael snorts, already digging into lunch and bypassing the salad bowl to serve himself a large slice of lasagna. "That shit will put hair on your chest."
"Language, Michael." Your mother warns. "We have a guest.”
Javi chuckles. “I’ve said worse things.” He promises her. “Nothing he says will surprise me.”
"I didn't raise my babies to be crass." She insists, luckily paying more attention to passing the plate of garlic bread than she is to your face and missing the doubtful expression to shoot Javi and your brother. "So, Javier, what an unexpected weekend!"
“It has been surprising,” he admits, looking over at you with a small smile. “But I don’t think that it’s been unwelcome for either one of us.”
"Not at all." You can agree to that wholeheartedly. "It feels very...meant to be."
“I honestly don’t know if I would have had the nerve to call her if she hadn’t shown up at the wedding.” He tells your mother honestly.
"I think it's very sweet that you found each other again by accident." Once everyone is served, only then does your mother tuck in. The four of you have plenty of space at the big, round dinner table but it doesn't feel like you're far apart or that the table is crowded. It just feels comfortable. "The powers that be knew it was time to nudge you back together."
Javi looks down at the meal as been dished up, it looks delicious. “Thank you.” He tells her. “It looks amazing. Your daughter is also one hell of a chef so I know this will be great.”
“She takes after her father.” Your mother beams at that. “I do my best, but she’s got his talent.”
The praise is kind, but you shrug slightly and fork up a perfect bite before throwing Javi a grin. “Chucho promised to teach me Southern cooking, so I’m combining Dad powers.”
“Dad has all of my mom’s recipes.” Javi explains. “Although most of them haven’t been used since she got sick.”
“It can be hard to reopen those old memories. Food carries such nostalgia.” Your mother smiles gently, having known already from your stories about your soulmate that he had lost his mother years ago. “I’m sure she would be proud, just like my husband would be, to see her recipes handed down to the next generation.”
“She would have loved your daughter.” Javi snorts, looking over at you with a fond smile. “And encouraged you to give me hell at every opportunity.”
"That she gets from me," your mother laughs, grinning as you and your brother just shake your heads and continue to eat.
"We figured out early on that Texas stubborn and New England stubborn are pretty similar," you tell her when you finish your bite. "Which is why we butted heads early on. I'm glad we got that phase out of the way early on."
“I’m sure that there will be plenty of head butting left.” Javi has no illusions that life together would be a walk in the park. Neither one of you are built that way.
"Of course." That is the more realistic way of approaching it, you're just feeling really good about the situation right now and it's making you feel rosy. "But at least we'll talk to each other when that happens now. Instead of stonewalling or just getting mad."
“That’s right.” He nods and winks at you before looking back at your mother. “I know you have a lot of questions for me.”
“I might.” She laughs though, appreciating the acknowledgment, and then laughs again when you wave your hand to tell her to go ahead. “Well,” she sips her wine and considers the man at her table. He’s older than you but not by too terribly much. Certainly handsome, but looks as though he has been through a lot. Like the edges of his smile are etched with concern that it might all be too fleeting. Poor dear. He needs a partner. “Have the two of you talked about how you’re going to manage this yet?” She asks, motioning between the two of you.
“To be completely honest….” Javi glances back at you and then looks towards your mother again as he taps the table. “I’m not sure where I stand professionally.” He admits, knowing that it wouldn’t help him get in your mother’s good graces, but it’s the truth. “I am waiting to hear from Washington.”
“Basically, Mom?” You set your fork down for a moment and offer Javi a reassuring smile. “We’re talking about living together being the next step, but we won’t know where until Javi hears from work.”
“I see.” She wonders what he might have done, but she doesn’t ask. “And hopefully there will be a guest bedroom wherever this might be for visitors?”
“Of course.” She isn’t being immediately critical or insistent that you move near her, so you’re ready to agree to just about anything. “No matter where we end up, there will be space for guests.”
“Good.” She will have to be satisfied with that. And hopefully with Javier being in trouble at his job, that will mean that he won’t go back to Colombia. Although, why would he? Escobar is dead.
“There’s no way to do it easily,” you point out to your mother gently. “With both of our families being so far apart.”
“I understand.” She might have broken down crying after the phone call, both in relief that you have been reunited with your soulmate and the fear of losing you again. She won’t tell you that. For too long you had tried to pretend Javier hadn’t existed and that Colombia was a bad dream, now you look happy. She’s not doing to put a damper on that for anything in the world.
“It’s alright, Ma.” Michael jokes, trying to relieve the tension at the table. “Your boys are still homebodies.”
“You never would leave if you wouldn’t get thrown in the brig.” She huffs at her son, but she is happy for how much they love their home.
You glance over at Javi, squeezing his knee under the table in silent question, and smile again when he returns your query with a little nod. Just like upstairs, he reassures you that it's okay to tell. To share the things you've talked about. "If we end up anywhere without four seasons, we're going to have to come home for the holidays at least a few times," you tell your mother, unable to suppress any of the warmth and joy in your expression. "I know you won't let your grandkids go without at least a few white Christmases."
“Babies?” Her eyes widen dramatically and she lights up like a Christmas tree herself. “You’re talking kids?”
There is the excitement you knew was lurking beneath the surface. You know it will be bittersweet for her to have you leave again, but good things are looming in the future. "Not right away," you caution her, but can't help grinning along with your mother. "But yes. We're talking about kids."
“You will make such beautiful babies together.” She sighs happily, emotional and even having to wipe away a stray tear.
"You pressed the grandma button." Michael snorts and helps himself to a second piece of lasagna. "But that means I get to be the favorite uncle, right?" He eyes Javier and raises one eyebrow. "Do you have any brothers, Jav?"
“No.” It’s unusual but he shakes his head. “I’m an only child.” He admits with a sigh. “My parents had a lot of loss early on in pregnancies. So after mama gave birth to me, they decided they were done. Pop didn’t want to risk her health.”
“Which makes perfect sense.” You squeeze his hand gently on top of the table, fingers tucked into fingers, as if that little gesture could possibly tell him that he is enough. That his family is just the right size as it is. “Our kids will already have two ridiculous uncles. That is plenty.”
“I never felt alone.” He tells you quietly. “Too many cousins for that.” He knows you will feel a little sad for him, but you shouldn’t.
“I know, cariño.” His childhood was different from yours, which doesn’t make it better or worse in any way. It just makes it different. “And if you ever catch me implying that it was, just remind me that you have more cousins than I do.”
He smiles at you, understanding completely and reaches for his glass to take a sip of the wine.
“Will there…” Your mother clears her throat in that pointed way only parents can. “Be a wedding, before there are babies? That’s the old fashioned order, I’m told.”
“Unless there’s a change in plan.” He has to admire how blunt your mother is. “My father would beat me black and blue if it was the other way.”
“Glad your father and I are on the same page.” She hums, smirking with something like victory.
He cuts his eyes over at you and gives you an amused look, very aware of the plans your mother is already making. “So we were thinking of eloping.” He announces, just to see what she would say.
The unceremonious squawk that comes out of her mouth is pure shock, you know that, but the way her jaw hits the floor and her eyes widen to the size of dinner plates has you bursting out laughing and all but clinging to Javi’s arm to jerk from falling out of your chair.
“Calm down, Mom,” you wheeze through laughter. “He’s fucking with you.”
Javi chuckles and shrugs. “She bet me twenty dollars I wouldn’t tell you that.” Michael thinks it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard and slaps Javi on the shoulder.
“I’ll buy you dinner.” You huff, rolling your eyes at him but glad that the boys are entertaining each other.
“You cannot elope.” Your mother gasps and Javi wonders if she actually heard you say it was a joke or if she was too busy having an aneurism. “We aren’t.” He promises. “We will do it right.”
“Javi wants to have a wedding.” Offering up that information seems so important now that you practically hand it to your mother on a platter. “We won’t elope, we promise.”
“I’ve had one failed trip to the altar.” He admits, being honest with your mother seems like a good thing to do. Especially since you and her are close. “My ex-fiancée tricked me into thinking we were soulmates. I found out the night before the wedding.” He sighs. “It put me off of the idea for a long time, but I want to marry your daughter.”
“Is this…” Your mother looks at you curiously.
“The woman telling everyone about us now? Yeah.” You shrug to Javi. “I told her about meeting Lorraine on the phone.”
“She’s been around for a long time.” Javi sighs. “Small town life and all.”
“Oh, I know all about that.” Your mother nods as if she suddenly understands the situation perfectly. “My sister-in-law is the queen of small town gossip. Up here at least. They would probably be dangerous together.”
“I don’t mind people knowing.” Javi shrugs again. “So I didn’t try to keep her from running her mouth.”
"No, it's definintely not a secret." Not anymore. Not this time around. Not when you've well and truly learned your lesson about keeping your mouth shut when you care about someone. You will never abstain from telling Javi you love him again. "I'd shout it from the rooftops here and in Texas."
Javi chuckles and smirks at you. “Really? From the rooftops?”
His challenge only makes you grin and you nod emphatically. “Pick some rooftops if you don’t believe me.”
“I believe you.” He promises. “But I don’t think it’s necessary. I know you love me. And I’d do anything for you.”
“I’m glad we agree.” You murmur, leaning over at the table to kiss him softly. The smallest, gentlest show of affection that actually means so much. The fact that you’ve learned to be gentle with each other is huge. It shows how far you’ve come, and so quickly too.
******
“Javier, uh, there’s a call for you.” The statement comes with a little bit of bewilderment, and Javi looks at you as he leans forward, unfolding his arm from where it was lying behind you on the couch. “Okay.” He stands up quickly, aware that two people have this number, his father and the secretary for the director of the DEA. Either way, a call for him has to be important.
Your mother has set down the telephone on the nearby kitchen counter in order to come into the living room where the television is on, and she sits down in her armchair on your other side when you don't get up to follow Javier into the kitchen immediately.
"Did it sound official?" You ask, wondering if Chucho is alright or if the calls he's been waiting for from Washington has finally come through.
“It was a woman.” She frowns slightly and glances back towards the kitchen. “Like a secretary or something.”
"His hearing." Sinking slightly in your seat seems like a reasonable reaction, but a moment later you're pushing off the couch to stand. "If it were his dad, you would still be in there chatting long distance. A secretary means the call is from Washington."
Javi turns as you walk into the kitchen, still listening as he motions you forward. “Wednesday at thirteen hundred.” He confirms, frowning slightly when he realizes that it will eat into his visit with your family. He will have to get the train to D.C. tomorrow to make sure he’s there on time. “Yes. Thank you.”
He opens one arm to let you close when he hangs up the phone, and you immediately slip to his side. "Wednesday." You repeat the day and tuck yourself in tight beside him. "I'll call and get out train tickets if you want to go pack."
He sighs softly, resting his cheek against yours and feeling a little nervous. He knows that they should fire him, but he doesn’t want to end his career with the DEA like this. “Do you want to come with me?”
"Of course I'm coming." There was never a doubt or question in your mind. "I'm not going to make you face this alone, baby. Especially not when you did it for me."
“Even if I am fired, I still have no regrets.” Javi promises, dropping a kiss on your lips gently.
"If you're fired then we'll go back to Texas with our heads held high, and you'll take that deputy job." You promise him, savoring that kiss and that promise like a lifeline. "I'm with you no matter what."
“No matter what.” It might be surprising to him, something he’s still accepting and getting used to, but he takes comfort in it. No matter what, he will have you.
******
"How long do you think we'll have to wait for them to deliberate?" Waiting outside the hearing room to be called back in feels like waiting for a death sentence, but you sit with your hands under your thighs and try not to fidget in your most-presentable office dress while Javi paces up and down the hallway.
Sighing, he resists the urge to rub his hand through his hair and ruin it. It’s already been hard enough to resist having a cigarette. Fuck, he needs one. “The rest of my life.” He growls, glancing back at the door impatiently.
"At least we're on the same page." You agree, sighing outwardly and silently wishing for the same two things as him — an answer and a cigarette.
He glances back at you on his next pass down the hallway and sees you playing with your skirt. Walking over to the chair beside you and dropping down into it with a heavy huff. “Whatever happens, I’m not going to apologize for what I did.” He reminds you. “Kissing ass isn’t my style.”
"I don't expect you to apologize." No, you know him better than that. And you know the bastards in the government better than that, too. "I just wish I could go in there and start throwing punches at the assholes who preside over all the bullshit bureaucracy while they make everybody else do the dirty work."
“Fucking bastards.” He grunts, glancing back at the door again. “I should tell them to kiss my ass.”
"Aw, c'mon." You squeeze his hand, aiming a lurid grin at him to try to distract him for even a second. "That's my job."
He snorts and shakes his head. “You haven’t done it yet.” He points out, smirking slightly.
Glad that your strategy worked even for a second, you wink and blow him a kiss. "Tonight," you promise, glossing it in a sultry tone that makes both of you laugh.
The door to the room opens and Javi’s face immediately shifts into something serious. Whipping his head around to watch as a bureaucrat in a well-cut suit and a fresh haircut sticks his head out. “Peña,” he calls. “We’re ready for you.”
You squeeze his hand tightly before letting go so he can straighten, and silently curse the whole bullshit process one more time as he disappears behind the hearing room door. You aren't allowed in there despite having played a role in the whole thing, and so you're stuck outside listening at the door for at least a little bit longer.
Javi sees a panel of five in front of him and he knows that it’s not good. He’s rubbed some the wrong way, especially since Messina is one of the five. He had ignored her orders more than once in the pursuit of Escobar.
It's a bureaucratic lecture as much as a hearing. A spanking laced with backhanded compliments. It's a clusterfuck of blame gaming and backpedaling. It's the kind of bullshit that would have had you snapping at someone if you were in here with him so he is belatedly glad that you have to wait outside.
Right up until those few magic words: "Agent Peña, how much do you know about the Cali Cartel?"
******
An hour later, Javier opens the door, stepping back out onto the hall with a slightly stunned expression on his face.
"What happened?" He doesn't look upset, but you still shoot up out of your seat instantly.
He had been looking down at the file in his hand and when you say something, he looks up at you. Suddenly wondering if this might be too much for you. “I— got a promotion.” He manages.
"What?" Your jaw drops and eyebrows shoot up to your hairline.
He rocks his jaw for a moment and steps over to you. Frowning slightly. “I shouldn’t take it.” He murmurs quietly, hearing the door open behind him and the panel file out of the room, chattering to themselves.
"Do you want to take it?" It seems ludicrously obvious to you that he should take it, in fact, but Javi is not always a straightforward man.
“More than anything, but….” He sighs softly and reaches up to cup your cheeks. “I’ll walk away if you want me to.”
"Why the hell would I want you to do that?"
“I have been made station chief of Bogotá, Colombia.” He reveals softly. “Tasked with taking down the Gentlemen of Cali.”
"Shit." It feels for a second like you've been kicked in the chest by Chucho's work horse, but the swirling confusion around you settles to a sting in mere moments. "So...we're going back?"
He sees the panic that races across your face, the fear flashing in your eyes. He wants this. He wants to prove that he can do it, that he can complete his mission and take them down, but he won’t do it at your expense. “Not if you don’t want to.” It’s on the tip of his tongue to tell you to stay behind, but he knows you will reject that idea completely.
It takes a long second, but when you rest your hand on his wrist and feel the warmth of him flood you — the safety of him — you remember how to breathe. "I won't do anything stupid this time," you promise him without a hint of sarcasm or teasing. "If you say I need security, I need security. And I'm not taking any shitty jobs in dodgy parts of town."
“Are you sure?” He worries and it shows in his eyes, not caring that his superiors see him with you like this. They know the connection – now – and it’s already been determine that he would have secure housing for you and him. “Sweetheart, I don’t want you to make yourself go if you can’t.” As badly as he wants this, he would never make you relive that time.
“I love you, too.” That is what he’s saying. Through the worry and the negotiation, he’s saying how much he cares, and that means the world to you. So you take a deep breath. “Escobar is dead. Whatever the new threat is…I know you can deal with it. And I’d rather try and go with you than just hide in my fear forever. If it’s too much, I’ll come back to the States and we’ll rack up a hell of a long distance bill.”
“Okay.” He watches you closely, looking for any hesitation. “We’ll be staying in a high security building.”
“I’m proud of you.” It’s so important that he know that. That he understands this is a huge victory and that you don’t let it be overshadowed by what happened years ago. “You’ve worked your ass off and you deserve the recognition.”
“We’ll see.” He snorts. “It’s more responsibility, and I’ll be more hands off.” That part will drive him crazy, not leading the investigation himself.
"You'll have office hours?" It sounds almost entirely foreign coming from a man you know used to burn the candle at every available end. "And I would be waiting for you at home...how very Donna Reed of us."
He chuckles. “Well you can always work on those family recipes and go get your hair done and have lunch.” He shrugs. “Whatever the wives do.”
"Maybe that's the first book. A family cookbook." You laugh slightly, in disbelief at how ordinary it sounds. "So when do we leave?"
Javi grimaces slight and bites his lip. “A week?” He asks. “They wanted me to leave in two days but I told them I needed a week.”
"Okay." That gets a nod from you, and you grasp his hands tightly. "We'll get train tickets to go back to Rhode Island tonight and I'll pack up, then we'll fly back to Laredo so you can pack, too? See Chucho again for a few days and then we'll fly back to Colombia from Texas?"
“That works for me if it works for you.” He hums, wondering if you are putting on a brave face or if you are just this strong.
"I'll look up Inez after we get settled." You decide, grateful for a moment to lean against him when he opens up one arm to let you into his orbit. He's worried. You know that. And you're worried too. But it took until the prospect of being apart from him again to realize that the bond between you is a hell of a lot stronger than your fear. "We'll make it work."
He almost asks if you will see about finding Vanessa and Freckles, but he doesn’t. He can’t ask that question, not right now. He nods. “It would be good for you to have someone.” He murmurs.
“I’ll do my best to make friends with the other wives,” you promise, but you know it might be futile. You’re probably going to struggle with the traditional role expected of you, but you’ll get the important things right. Being there to support him is the most important part. “There’s…no chance Steve and Connie will be there with us, I guess?”
“They are in Miami.” He tells you, shaking his head. “Family is there and they have Olivia.”
“Yeah.” It was a long shot and you knew that, so you just nod. “I didn’t think so. That’s okay. They earned their rest. You still have some serious ass to kick.” A warm, soft, fierce smile curves up the corners of your mouth, etched with pride and determination. This may not be your fight from the outside, but you have some personal demons who need to get squashed in the process.
******
“Sweetheart?” The man who would never pass up a chance to eye a beautiful woman barely looks at the young stewardess as she asks if there’s anything else he needs after delivering his drink. Glancing over at you to make sure you haven’t changed your mind about just wanting water. “Anything else?”
“No, I’m okay. Thank you.” At some point later you might ask for a snack but right now your water and the window seat are plenty enough.
“We’re good.” He turns back towards the slightly miffed looking woman with a nod, but doesn’t smile at her as he dismisses her.
You huff a laugh under your breath as she walks away and settle your hand over his knee in the tiny airplane seats. “You bruised her ego. Poor thing wanted to flirt.”
“Huh?” His brow furrows in confusion and he frowns as he tries to understand what you are talking about. Until he catches the woman moving out of the corner of his eye and glances over. “Oh. No.” He shakes his head. “That’s not going to happen.”
“How was she supposed to know that?” You ask with a small grin. Commitment is a very sexy look on him.
He glances back at you, aware that you are teasing him and he shifts in his seat. He’s had time to think about a lot of things. Going back to Colombia is chance for him to prove himself, in more ways than one. “I – uh, I know that I’ve been— uh, a slut.” He grimaces slightly at the term, but it’s the truth. “But even Lorraine would tell you that I never— when we were together – I didn’t cheat.”
“Javi…” His choice of term does makes you crack a grin, but you still face him in your seat and take this moment as seriously as he is in giving it to you. “To be honest? It never even crossed my mind that you might. You were both a bit slutty before.” In Colombia, at least. You haven’t been since meeting him. “And now we’re committed. It’s a brave new world of monogamy for both of us.”
It’s like he releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding, the relief is nearly physical. He wouldn’t blame you if he couldn’t satisfy your needs, it would honestly be kind of a fitting punishment for everything he’s done, but when you say monogamy he knows you mean it. “Yeah it is.” He nods.
“We can do it.” Seeing the relief on his face is almost like seeing it on your own, and you laugh a little and lower your voice. “We both have high sex drives. I’ll just come into the office so we can fuck on your lunch break.”
“Too bad you don’t still have that skirt you wore the first day I met you.” Now that that larger than imagined weight is off his chest, he smirks at you. Still imagining how you would have looked back then bent over his desk.
"I can easily get a new pencil skirt." In fact, now that you've lost a bit of weight, it will be that much easier to find nice things. "Should be a piece of cake now."
He frowns again and reaches for your hand. “The original was fucking sexy.” He promises. “I thought about bending you over my desk and didn’t know your name.”
The reassurance is sweet, and welcome, but you lean over to press a chaste kiss to his lips and grin. "And now you actually get to do it."
“Too bad it’s a full flight.” He chuckles. “Otherwise I might haul you into the bathroom on this tin can.”
"Save it." You nudge your nose against his. "We have a new apartment to christen."
“About that.” Javi shrugs slightly. “Station chief has its perks.” He tells you. “We are in penthouse accommodations. Views of the entire city.”
“Very fancy.” He’s told you about a few perks so far, including the fact that they’ve apparently assigned him a driver that you know he won’t use. Javi’s preference is always to drive himself — even visiting your family you gave directions from the passenger seat. “No jogging up three flights of stairs this time.”
“Thank fucking god.” Javi groans, leaning back in his seat. “I’m getting too old for that shit.”
"Just wait until it's kids we're running after." You sit back with him, grin still spread across your face. "That's a hell of a lot more running, cariño."
“Fuck.” He hisses. “Do you think those little assholes will run across rooftops too?”
"Not until they're older." Your laugh turns full and amused, but you link your fingers through his and smile. "I have a feeling at least one of them will grow up to be a stubborn badass like their dad."
“Fuck.” He closes his eyes and sighs. “I’ve never told anyone this….and I’ll deny I said shit— but I don’t like heights.”
"Well." Fingers squeezing his, you nudge his shoulder and grin. "Then I won't ask you to fuck me against the penthouse windows. Don't need you looking down and getting scared."
“Oh no, fuck that.” His eyes shoot open and he glares at you. “That’s happening.” He huffs. “I mean I don’t like running across a roof when I have don’t know if I’m going to fall through the mother fucker and kill myself. I’ll definitely fuck you against the window.”
You smother a snort, knowing that that comment would get to him but glad to see the fire in his eyes regardless. "I'm looking forward to it."
He huffs at you, fully aware that you had baited him and he had fallen for it. Cutting his eyes as he takes a sip of his drink, he passes it to you automatically after he swallows.
"Don't be sour." He's ordered a whiskey from the stewardess and the sip you take burns pleasantly on its way down before you hand it back. "It's my only penthouse-related fantasy. I just wanted to make sure it sounded good to you, too."
“I’m not sour.” He promises after a moment. “Do you want to read the file too?” He has no intention of leaving you out of anything.
"Am I allowed to?" It hadn't occurred to you that it would be permitted, what with government red tape and all.
“Yeah.” He nods as he reaches down and pulls the file out of his briefcase. “I’ve already told them you will be read in.” He shrugs. “They don’t care since you are my soulmate.”
"I guess that saves us from having to worry about talking shop at home." Although you have to wonder if they would still be so blase if you were still employed as a journalist. Probably not. Which is fair.
“They knew I was going to do it anyway.” He admits shamelessly. “Nothing that could possibly put you in danger will be kept from you.”
"Who knows." You shrug. The flight is just beginning and you settle in for the few hours it will take to get to your layover in Mexico City. "Maybe I'll be able to help? I guess we'll find out."
******
The keys rattle in the door before it swings open, revealing Javi. Carrying his suit jacket and another box of files, he shuffles into the house and closes the door behind him. He’s later than he said he would be, and he feels guilty when he smells dinner, obviously waiting on him. Hopefully you got sick of waiting for him and went ahead and ate. “I’m home.” He calls out.
"I'm in the kitchen!" When you heard the door you had hopped up from the dinner table to throw dinner back into the oven and you stretch your aching muscles by reaching for two glasses and the whiskey bottle as he drags himself in looking haggard. "Hey baby."
“Hey.” He’s frustrated and tired, but he shoots you a half smile, aware that you will understand that. “Sorry. I got caught up.” It’s not an excuse, but at least you didn’t have to call him to find out where he was – this time.
"I figured, so I put your portion of baked pasta in a separate baker. I just put it in the oven. C'mere and let me hug you." Your arms come around him once he puts the files down on the counter, holding him against you and letting the relatively simple act of holding him evolve naturally as it always does — into a deep kiss.
Javi leans into you, unable to articulate how much he has needed you and appreciated you being here this time. He has the physical connection he needs, the emotional one just as important and he can confide in you. Pour his worries out and he knows that you would never betray him. Being the station chief in charge of this ordeal has been far more difficult than he had even imagined and it seems like no one but him and his agents want the gentlemen of Cali behind bars.
"So you brought home some weekend reading?" You prompt, after he's melted into your arms and is limply hugging you back like he does on his hardest days.
“I honestly don’t know if I can fucking do this.” He sighs, pulling back and looking at you with a weary expression. “We are being stonewalled.”
"Of course you can do this." A little self-doubt is understandable, though, and you lead him over to the table to let him flop into a chair while you go back for the glasses and whiskey. "If this was going to be easy they could have had anyone sitting in your office just napping the day away. But they asked you. They asked the man that they knew could push through the hardest days and the pull the hardest punches." You set the glasses down beside him and pour both to join him. "We've been here almost a year, Jav. We're just barely cracking the surface. The whole thing getting hard as hell right before you find a crack in the case...it's annoying as fuck but it makes sense."
He snorts, even though you are right. “It’s almost annoying how good you are at this.” He grumbles, nodding his thanks for the drink and pulling you down into his lap.
"I'd like to think I've had a little practice by now," you admit, placing a soft kiss on his lips. "Just like you've learned how to talk me down from my word count panics when I don't think I'm getting enough written to really count as a writer."
“Your book is going to be amazing.” When he needs a break from reports or the bullshit that comes with this case, he’s been reading your progressing first draft of your novel. Giving you his honest feedback and never complaining when you make him re-read a slightly changed chapter over and over again.
"I'm going to claw my way into the mystery genre with my bare hands." The two of you share a small laugh, another kiss, and a sip from the same glass before you lean your forehead against his gently. "Happy anniversary, by the way."
“Anniversary?” His brows furrow in confusion and his heart skips a beat with worry that he’s fucked up something bad.
"It's been four years since we met the first time." It isn't the anniversary of when you got together, or of when you first started living together, or any of the other things. But something small, and silly, and just for you. "It's not big, but it's worth marking."
“Oh shit.” He relaxes slightly and his fingers caress your side gently. “Yeah, it’s been four years.” In some ways, it seems like a lifetime ago, so much has changed.” That makes him think of something. “Did you ever send that letter to Helena?”
"I got back a postcard today." There is no need to hop up from his lap, thankfully, and instead you reach across the table to slide the glossy card out from under your notebook and hand it to him. "She's getting married. Apparently her soulmate was in the States the whole time. But she promises to write us a longer letter when they're back from their honeymoon in a few weeks."
“That’s good.” Probably the best news he’s heard in a long time and he picks up the card to look at the neat handwriting. “She deserves happiness.”
"She does." You can agree to that wholeheartedly. "I'm glad she found it."
He hums and leans in, pressing his face into your neck and breathing you in. “Just like we’ve found it.” He murmurs softly. “We should get married.”
"You gotta propose first, hermoso." It might only be a gentle tease, but you grin as you wrap your arms around his shoulders to hold him close. "Then I can say yes and we can get to planning."
Sitting in his button up shirt, his tie askew, Javier reaches into his pocket and pulls out the ring that he had taken out of the box earlier to inspect and shoved in his pants when Stetchner had come into his office uninvited. “You want me to get down on one knee?” He asks, holding it up for you to see. “Figured we could elope and not tell your mom. Let her plan the wedding and we just show up.”
"Javi!" The surprise of seeing an actual ring in his hand has you nearly falling off his lap but you hold on even tighter out of shock, just like thoughts start tumbling out of your mouth like they do when you get surprised. "No you don't need to get—did you really—how long have you been carrying that around for?"
“Picked it up two weeks ago?” He had been trying to think of something romantic, something fitting for your proposal, but everything seemed overkill. He showed you he loved you everyday, with the little things, not with overly elaborate proposals that could mean shit if he didn’t really want to commit. But right now seems like the right time. A very honest moment between the two of you.
"It's perfect." The ring, the moment — him — all of it. It's a standstill moment in time that could never have been manufactured and never could be duplicated. It's just for the two of you and it's perfect. You swoop in, needing to kiss him right now more than you need air.
He takes the kiss, easily, happily. Wrapping his arm around you and still holding up the ring, he lets the kiss drag on for a long minute before he pulls back with a smirk. “Is that a yes then?”
"Hell yes that's a yes." A giddy laugh bubbles out of you, and you can't help but steal one more, infinitely more chaste, kiss. "As soon as you want. We'll have to run back to the States for a weekend to actually have the wedding, but I'll let Mom plan whatever she wants and she'll be ecstatic."
“I thought you would like that.” The party is more of what Javier wants. The celebration. He doesn’t care if it’s in a church, although he’s sure that’s where it will be. And you will have already been married for however long planning the wedding takes, so you will get your way with wanting a marriage. “I love you, sweetheart.” He promises softly. “It’s fitting that our story started here and this is where we will make it forever.”
"I love you, too." He slides the ring onto your finger with satisfied pride and you don't bother blinking away the press of happy tears behind your eyes. They don't fall, you don't blubber, they're just there. Reminding you that the pounding of your heart is just as real as this moment. "I can't wait for whatever comes next."
------
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blessedbygookim · 6 months ago
Text
The Queen Of Busan.
Part one: the meeting.
Part two: defeated.
Part three: -drafted bc it flopped ngl-
16 year old Gun and Goo getting they asses whooped.
It must be done by someone. Sorry, not sorry.
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That meeting happened one week ago.
Since then, they did some digging, although not finding out much. Her last name is unknown, so is where she is from originally and so her fighting prowess, which wasn't just a pain in the ass, but also unfortunate, adding to the mystery of the girl.
All they found out, is that she’s is 19 years old, same age as Sinu Han, meaning she is a part of the first generation.
Now they both sit in front of Charles Choi, in the rundown shack that he has been hiding at for a good while now. Gun is sitting in a pretzel, back straightened with his usual seriousness, and Goo is slightly slouched over in a more relaxed manner.
"So the strongest person in Busan is a woman... and she refused to join the Four Major Crews?"
Charles asks as his eyes dart between both younger man.
Gun sighs, finally speaking up as he rubs his temples, the memory of the meeting still giving him a headache.
"Not only that: she outright refused to help us in any way, shape, or form. I guess we're gonna have to try and find another business to extort."
Goo nods his head, remembering how his shot was shut down so fast.
Yes, that was his biggest concern.
His eyes dart between Charles and his partner as they speak. There is a tinge of disappointment stirring up in his chest, she could've been a fantastic asset to the crew with her smarts and charm.
And money, of course.
"Might I add, she seems to have taken some of Big Deal's territory under her control as well in the meantime. She seems surprisingly influential in the country as a whole, like scattered bubbles rising on surface, popping up everywhere. I wouldn't be surprised if she started taking over more businesses in the meanwhile."
Gun continues his train of thought.
"Jake Kim, and her have made an alliance and she's helping Big Deal and its street... so in a sense she is working for us... Not directly, but she is of help... she seems to have a soft spot for Big Deal, you can't deny her abilities and influence."
Goo thinks over Gun's words as he speaks, unable to argue with his logic in that regard. He sighs as he places a hand on his hip, his other hand pushing his glasses up slightly.
Maybe the reason why she gets along so well with Jake and the Big Deal members...well, with most; because eventually her goals and their goals are the same.
Protect.
Big Deal is the epitome of being a family, filled with passion. No wonder how well she gets along with them, and took it upon herself out of the goodness of her own heart to help them run their businesses on Big Deal's street.
"If her soft spot gives us a loophole from which we can exploit, I don't have a problem with her having a soft spot for Big Deal. That just makes it easier for us to take advantage of.”
Gun concludes, shrugging his shoulders slightly as he speaks, looking over at Charles expectantly.
Still, Charles lets out a small grunt.
"Even if she's in an alliance with Big Deal, and as much as their sales went up, one single business of hers in Busan makes 3 times more than Big Deal alone. We need her businesses."
When Charles says his thoughts out loud, Gun can't help but have his eye twitch slightly, his eyebrow raising at his words. Both knowing exactly what Charles is saying but still having the same thoughts they've had before: this Nova woman is not making their job easy by any means.
"As beneficial as having her businesses for you would be, you've heard how quickly she shut us down. The woman said herself that she wanted to remain uninvolved in anything relating to either or any of us. It would take a miracle if she is somehow convinced to cooperate with us in any way."
Goo lets out an agreeing groan, nodding in agreement with his partner.
"Before I make a decision, tell me more about this woman."
Charles utters as he looks off, pondering, ready to hear what they know so far of Nova.
Both of them sigh and cross their arms, their faces giving off an air of disappointment and irritation.
"All we were able to get from what research we did and since the brief meeting we had with her was her age: 19, her place of birth: unknown, and so is her last name."
Gun lists off as he closes his eyes momentarily, his voice carrying an irritated tone to it as he speaks.
“She's literally running dozens of businesses with a perfect 0% corruption rate. She's also incredibly smart and charismatic, her charisma and kindness alone is already enough to make anyone obey her immediately."
Goo continues with a tone more carefree, perhaps a little more boastful than intended.
"Zero corruption, no shady business practices... a kind person in a world of grime..."
Charles repeats his words, trailing off as he visibly ponders, rubbing his bearded chin.
"A gentle heart like hers won't survive for too long in this world. We should teach her that lesson sooner rather than later."
Gun can't help the small, sadistic chuckle he lets out at Charles' words, his mood instantly shifting into amusement as soon as he hears the other man's plans. He always admired when Charles had his ruthless tendencies come out, it always was interesting to see.
"Especially since she's the Queen of Busan. Who would've thought someone her age would be able to take over such a large city on their own? It's both hilarious and admirable at the same time really."
Goo immediately frowns again as he hears Charles and Gun say such things, he's not afraid to admit it but he genuinely feels protective of this woman now.
"I don't know how you plan to teach a woman like that a lesson in this world, she's like an absolute angel of light. You can see in her eyes just how kind she truly is, we should really be careful before she shows us how dark she can be behind that bright exterior.”
To his words, Charles sends Goo an empty stare, and Gun nudges him softly with his shoulder.
"Joongoo, you should drop your personal feelings towards the girl. This is only business."
They were both all about business and raking in the money, empathy had no place in their plans. In the world of HNH group, there is no such thing as kindness, there isn't any place for a soft soul here. Even though from a moral standpoint Gun also happened to take a liking to the girl, his loyalty towards Charles Choi was still far greater.
But Goo will make sure to keep her in his thoughts regarding his own future.
Charles' words and the way both he and Gun look at him make him let out a defeated sigh, a hand rubbing his hair in frustration.
"Fine... you guys win, I'll try to keep my thoughts on her to a minimum. Doesn't change the fact that she's absolutely perfect though, the way she could've easily won that fight in the restaurant, the way she stood up to both of us... I guess it's hard for me to not be slightly entranced by her."
Goo admits with a slight shrug.
This was expected from him, all Gun can do is mentally roll his eyes.
"Enlighten me on her fighting prowess then.”
As that question slips from the man's mouth, both of the boys glance at each other.
Even as Gun remembers back at how taken aback he felt when she managed to throw a fork perfectly aimed at his eye and how it pierced his sunglasses, he cannot help but shiver at the sheer agility she displayed out of nowhere in that moment. But other than her terrifying aura in that moment and her precision, and speed, not much else is known. It's really a mystery how this 19 year old woman became who she is.
Goo’s eyes light up the very second Charles asks what her fighting prowess is, smile widening with excitement as he really has been itching to start talking about just how insanely talented Nova really is. He starts off almost before Charles had even finished in asking his question.
"Her precision, agility, and speed are on a whole other level. A normal human shouldn't even be able to accomplish a fraction of what she's capable of. It’s safe to say to admit that she might be on the same level as Gun and I."
Goo was nothing further than ecstatic, having a free opportunity to flap his guns.
“She whipped a fork at him and it pierced right through his sunglasses, but just enough to not actually pierce his eyes. She seems to have the speed and agility of a cheetah while having the precision of a sniper. She's a true, perfect masterpiece in a woman's body."
Charles ponders for another minute, humming once to himself as he shifts his eyes back on the two in front of him.
"So she's quick... but speed is nothing if she doesn't have the power. I will send a crew to ransack some of her businesses."
Goo can't help but feel iffy about the situation, he felt a strange feeling welling inside him as Charles says that. But ultimately, he isn't surprised by his plan. He had been a part of so many of Charles' plans over time, so it was no surprise to him that his plan to get Nova to cooperate involved violence. His face immediately goes neutral again as he remembers that there is no place for empathy here. It was all about business and profits for this organization and they couldn't let this woman get in their way of that. Or is how he tried to soothe his nerves with.
While Gun's face hardens, he nods his head. They both know what the outcome of all this will be in that regard.
"That would be wise, her businesses would be completely defenseless. Even if fast, speed is nothing if it doesn't have the power backing it."
So sending a few men he did. An hour and a half passed since then, and there was still no update about how it all has progressed.
Goo fiddles with his thumb with his lips pursed as he sits on a bench. Eyes casted on the pavement as they're now outside of the house, as Gun smoked a cigarette.
"I've never been so conflicted about something like such before...”
Goo mutters out, glancing at Gun who seemed as unbothered as ever.
Though Goo's words made him wonder what was really going on here. Was Goo getting soft on them? Or was his loyalty to the organization getting less and less? He didn't have the answer to that but one thing was for sure, he needed to shut Goo up before he started acting too soft.
"What kind of nonsense are you spouting now? I can literally hear you overthinking it. You aren't actually soft for her, right?"
Gun questions with a slight tone of menace, taking another exhale of his cigarette as he gives him a hard look, his eyebrow rising just slightly.
"... I don't know...or at least I don't think so." Goo shrugs, his mind for sure running marathons. "I know we've also done the same with countless businesses all throughout South-Korea without any remorse and whatsoever... this is the first time I feel like we wronged the nicest person in the worst way possible."
Gun was starting to get a little worried now, Goo was beginning to let his feelings influence him. It was only natural since this woman was so kind and empathetic, but that kind of quality was not welcome in the world of gangs. If he let this get to him anymore, he could very well turn against them. He didn't want to have to deal with dealing with Goo's betrayal as well. This is honestly starting to get ridiculous to him, he's never seen his partner get so upset over something like this before.
"It was inevitable that we were going to have to do that. You already know that her kindness wouldn't keep her alive in this world, so I don't know what you're so worried about. It's nothing we haven't done to anyone else before."
Goo lets out an exhausted sigh as he leans back on the bench, staring up at the sky.
"I just have a bad feeling about this, is all..."
Gun's eyebrow raises slightly, slowly raising a hand and rubbing the bridge of his nose as he just lets out a groan of frustration.
"Listen, I've been working with you long enough now to know when you get these ‘bad feelings’ about stuff. If you're worried then we'll just go over there ourselves, how about that? If we deal with some of the trouble on our own, it might get that bad feeling out of your system and get you to calm down again."
"Fine..."
The blonde mutters out with a slight pout, sitting up slowly.
As soon as Gun finished his tangent, is the same moment he gets a message to get back in. His expression lights up as he hears that they finally have an update, him reaching down and stomping his cigarette into oblivion with his hand as he looks over at Goo with a confident look on his face.
"We have updates on the situation. Come on."
As he speaks, Gun looks over at Goo for just a small moment before he turns back around and starts walking and Goo follows with a crease between his eyebrows..
The crease between his eyebrows deepen even more when they step foot into the office. Gun is getting a little worried, he has never seen his boss so puzzled and taken aback in a good while. They could tell by his facial expressions, and the uneasy atmosphere as well with the tension now rising up in the room.
"The men I have sent have been defeated in every bar, store and establishment of hers. None of my men could return."
Once they hear those words from Charles, their eyes both widen in disbelief and shock. Both of them stare at the older man in disbelief as the two of them stand with dumbfounded looks on their faces.
"You're saying... nobody came back?"
Gun questions slowly, blinking slowly at Charles as he lets what he had just said sink in, his eyebrow raising in complete bewilderment as does Goo's, hardly able to suppress the smirk that was threatening to stretch out on his face.
"Her men has single handedly defeated all and everyone... and apparently it was her alone who took out my most skilled men by herself... Not only her men are skilled, but so is she. I did not expect that at all."
Charles mutters out with a groan. Eyes closing with his brows knitted together, clearly frustrated at the turn of events, and the smirk now fully lifted both corners of his lips when he hears the news that it was Nova that did all that, but Gun's expression looks much less enthusiastic.
"That’s sounds unbelievable.."
Gun mumbles out with a baffled look on his face, his shoulders rising as he gives Charles a look of shock, his eyes wide with disbelief.
"Either way, desperate times call for desperate measures." Charles responds, eyes opening with a furious glint in them. "I will send the two of you and a few more men to dissect the whole of her businesses in the city. Attacking from all and every angles. Your main target is Nova. Finish the job for me, and make sure to break that woman in so she has no other choice but to oblige."
The two boys were monsters for a reason. The best of the best, if not the best, among all of the Ten Geniuses as of yet. The two of them should have no problem taking down one single person so she has no choice to bend to their will at the end.
As soon as Charles's words finish, Goo's face pales slightly as he looks over at Gun beside him, the two of them staring at each other for just a moment as they absorb the message that Charles had just given them.
"We got it, we won't let you down, Sir..."
Goo replies calmly, the two of them giving Charles a calm, collected look, his words sounding far too calm for the situation that they had been handed.
"Go now. I believe the two of you should be able to handle her. The other men I have sent are already in Busan. If everything goes as planned this time, it will only be her left.”
Both of the boys give a single nod of understanding to the instructions, and with that they both walk out of the room without another word, leaving Charles alone as they go get prepared for their trip to Busan.
"Alright, looks like we're headed back to Busan."
Goo comments as he looks over at Gun, a slight smirk on his face.
"You seem way too excited to see her even under these circumstances..."
Gun comments, eyeing him suspiciously, but shakes his head softly at the end.
Even though Goo is somewhat excited, he can't help but feel a ripple of fear run through him. As much as he had some personal feelings for the girl, her skills were still unknown.
The blonde just grins even more when Gun remarks about how excited he looks to see Nova again, him just giving the other a playful roll of the eyes in response.
"Hey, you know me, I like strong women. And a woman like her? Well, she's a whole other level of powerful... and a whole lot sexier too-"
"Whatever, just make sure you focus. Idiot."
He lets out a laugh, the tension melting away as they begin to focus on what they need to do instead of their emotions.
Maybe an hour later as they arrive in Busan, the atmosphere certainly doesn't feel as welcoming as the last time.
There is a certain tension in the air all around, the clouds are more gray, and the streets are eerily empty.
"Why did you bring a katana...?"
Gun asks Goo, spotting the weapon on his back in its sheath.
The latter just smiles when the questions is thrown his way, a smug look on his face.
"What? I wanted to make sure I'm extremely well equipped. Plus, I'm a man of style, and what's even more stylish than a Katana, right?”
He says in his usual, laid-back tone, his eyes filled with glee and excitement as they approach Nova's buildings.
"You're annoying.." Gun rolls his eyes at that as they keep walking through the streets, muttering under his breath.- "It's just a girl going on a rampage anyway... nothing more, nothing less."
Perhaps his own delusions will also calm his own discomfort as well about the situation. If only he knew what they were really in for, he'd have probably been much less dismissive.
"You said it, White Ghost. Just a simple girl on a rampage, nothing to worry about, right?~"
Goo chuckles out, his pace remaining steady as he walks along beside Gun, giving him a laid-back look as the two of them approach Nova's buildings. Gun's words actually got his nerves to calm down a little bit, if he started to think of her as just a woman then it would be easier to deal with her…But that woman is far from just a normal woman, even if Gun doesn't believe that she is, he did.
They remain mostly silent for the rest of the walk, as they approach their first location. The bars and establishments were all filled with all Charles' men taken out. Bodies upon bodies, the eerie smell of blood a little too strong for their likings. Goo noticed a pattern with all of the locations they went to so far, it was the same thing everywhere. The whole location would look trashed, bodies lying around, and yet the woman herself was no where to be found.
"God damn... this isn't just rampage, but a straight up massacre..."
Goo exclaims softly, nose pinched together as he nudges a body with his foot
"It's a damn bloodbath..."
Gun mutters out, looking around the room at all the men sprawled on the ground, their bodies looking beaten into a pulp as his expression darkens slightly at the sight of it all.
"It might be a good idea if we stick together, this chick isn't someone to mess with alone. We need to stay together at all times if we don't wanna end up like these guys are."
"Yeah, let's leave now, it smells like straight up death in here..."
Goo mutters out a response, leaving the establishment first.
Until nothing else but the restaurant where they first met a week ago remain.
The moment they enter the street, is the moment it all becomes so real.
Trails of blood scattered all around the road and pavement. Bodies mutelated, mauled, Goo swears he just saw a body torn in half from the jaw down. A cold shiver creeps up their necks, especially when their eyes land on the person they have been looking for all along.
Standing in the sea of bodies is Nova. White dress stained with blood, hands covered in the same crimson substance up to her elbows, skin and flesh under her nails. Hair disheveled, an eerily blank face paired with a blood thirsty gaze as her eyes glow luminously white. Barefoot as she stands, emitting nothing but a pressuring aura.
"Well... isn't she beautiful?"
Goo remarks, his eyes locked onto her just a few feet away, a smirk forming on his face as he looks at her blank expression combined with the blood- thirsty look in her glowing white eyes.
...is he dumb?
"You did... all of this?"
Gun aims his question towards the woman, who slowly turns her head towards their direction.
Goo's heart almost drops right out of his asshole, smirk faltering lightly.
She definitely wasn’t as happy to see them again as he was..
She lets out a long exhale, breath so warm the fog of it filters visibility into the frigid air... and it wasn't even winter time.
“So it was you two behind this all along... huh?..”
She asks, tone empty. Monotone, no hint of emotions in her words, but the way she was practically staring at Gun like he was a prey about to be hunted down, told them more than enough
"Guilty as charged.~"
Goo replies with a chuckle, his smirk still plastered on his face as he looks at the girl, a gleeful tone in his voice. Gun looks just as confident, staring at Nova.
"Don't take this personally, it's nothing but business."
Gun states firmly, his eyebrow raising slightly as he keeps his expression calm, his hand slowly moving to grab a pack of cigarettes.
He could barely take the pack out of his pocket, his eyes widening. As the last syllable leaves his lips is the same moment she lunges towards him like a catapult. Arms extended, nails looking like they're about to tear him into shreds.
Gun barely manages to dive away just as she reaches him, rolling over the ground before he looks up at her once again, his eyes flashing with both surprise and amusement as she skids away slightly, nails digging into the concrete, ploughing it up.
"Oh, that was fast..."
He mutters under his breath as he pushes himself up to his feet, his eyes locked on her with a determined gaze.
"Fast?? It was like she teleported the fuck??"
Goo was horrified by the speed she moved with and it almost got him shocked into not knowing what to do next.
While still on the ground, she digs her limbs into the pavement to use as leverage to catapult a flying split kick used in Kyokushin Karate to send a heavy blow towards Goo this time as she flips with her leg extended.
Taken aback by the sheer velocity that simple kick had, he manages to block it above his head with his arms crossed, making him grimace, he for sure hasn't felt a blow this heavy, in a long while.
He for sure felt and heard his bones crack, a hiss of pain escaping his lips while he grimaces slightly, giving Nova a look of disbelief.
"That actually hurt..."
He mutters softly to himself, his eyes remaining locked on her even as he takes a step back, trying to ignore the pain in his arms as Gun suddenly takes a step towards Nova, trying to land a punch at her from behind.
While foot still printed hard against the blonde's arm, the other top of her feet lock behind Gun's head after he is in closer proximity, she now uses them as a lunch pad to push herself away, not just dodging his punch, but in the mean time making them headbutt each other. Hard.
Letting out a shout of pain in unison as they both smash their heads into each other, their faces colliding in a brutal collision as they both stagger back, a pained look on both of their faces.
"God damn it...."
Goo mutters under his breath as he holds his head in his hands, Gun doing the same as he slowly wipes the small trickle of blood flowing from his nose.
Charging at her the same time, their fight continues.
Unfortunately to them, one sidedly for the most duration of the time.
Neither of them seen someone who has so many martial arts abilities, skills and techniques under their belts. Some they haven't even experienced before.
Sheer power and skills blending perfectly. Speed almost teleportational, countless times disappearing out of their peripheral visions just to appear right behind them, and send such blows that stung like needles, or were heavy like tons of weight were just dropped on them. Every move is impossible to expect and predict, every move she makes sends shivers down their spine.
It was like she was the perfect mix of all the fighters they have since met, be it in the second or first generation.
"DUDE JUST LAND A PUNCH!"
Goo exclaims in a hastily manner, in the midst of throwing his own heavy blow, only for his wrist to be grabbed, his own flow of power be turned against him as she makes him eat hard concrete, the pavement denting under him, almost swallowing him up whole.
"I'm trying!!"
Gun shouts loudly, his voice filled with a mix of both impatience and frustration, his expression desperate as he tries to come up with some sort of a plan.
Deciding to just straight up go for it, at this time not really having even a second to spare, and throws a straight blow her way, it was scary, with how much ease she evades it, almost like flowing with the air.
“Leave.”
She speaks as takes a very firm hold of them both, flipping them in the air and slam them back down into the pavement by their throats.
“Leave Busan and never return.”
Hoisting them up in the air in the midst of their concussion, not even giving them a chance to recover, kicking them both down once again like a soccer ball, Gun flying right into a brick wall, and Goo eats concrete once again a few feet away.
“This is my city.”
Both men lay motionless on the ground, clearly beaten, still for several moments, trying to process and recover from the beating they've just received, before eventually Gun lifts his head up a bit, a pained but satisfied expression on his face as he pushes himself up onto his knees.
"Damn... I don't think... I've ever been beaten like that..."
He mutters softly, his breath coming out in labored puffs with a wide smile, the pain making it hard for him to form a coherent thought, other than knowing it felt exhilarating.
She's far beyond human at this point, she isn't someone to be underestimated at all.
While taking steps closer to Gun specifically, the only thing he can do at this point is just to watch her near, and attack when the time is right.
“I will not let you destroy what I have created.”
She utters out flatly, a hand inching towards Gun's face slowly.
“Cool eyes... mind if I take them as souvenirs?”
A look of disbelief and horror appear on Gun's face the moment he hears those words, his eyes widening slightly as he hears Nova's intentions. It's clear that both of them have never met someone stronger than them until now, never even considered such a possibility before this moment. Without much time to react, Gun tries to dodge back, but she's too fast, her hand grabbing his face in one quick, swift, almost instantaneous move.
He sits knees on the ground, jaw almost breaking in her grasp,looking at her like she's some kind of otherworldly monster, as he starts to wonder if he will even be able to hold out any longer.
This was a feeling neither of them were used to at all. Gun had never truly experienced fear like this before from a fight with someone, he always knew that no matter what he could always win. He always had such confidence that he would always win, but this time he was genuinely afraid. She didn't just overpower them. This time, they were completely outmatched. They were the prey and she was the predator in this situation. In that moment, all the cockiness and arrogance he usually possessed was gone, replaced with pure dread. This wasn't just a girl on a rampage, she was a monster.
Meanwhile, Goo, although going in an out of consciousness, and through gritted teeth as he already feels all and every bone in his body broken, the moment he notices the woman standing above Gun's body, is the same moment in a blink of an eye, he rushes forward.
Katana pulled out of its case, a deadly glint in his eyes as he makes one swift moment, stabbing the girl right through her abdomen from the front as he now suddenly stands behind Gun.
Perhaps his katana and swordsmanship actually came into good use.
For a moment, it looked as though Goo had managed to land a decisive blow...
But her expression made it clear. She wasn't even phased by it, her face remaining as blank and expressionless as ever as she simply turns her head to look back down at Goo, who was now staring back up at her in shock and disbelief.
"Oh... I am so fucked."
Are his only words as she takes a step forward.
Yes, forward.
While the blade still piercing right through her, discarding Gun aside like a measly ragdoll as she walks even deeper into the blade, and grips the sharp edge with her hand so he can't even think about moving the blade any way.
Of course nothing budges. Every time he tries to push her, or lever her off the blade, she doesn't even move at all. Not with her holding the shaft of it with such grip it was denting the metal. She doesn't look in any pain, or even show any reaction at all. She just keeps moving forward slowly despite the huge blade piercing into her stomach.
In fact, as she slowly pushes forward, the sound of the katana tearing through flesh can be heard in the empty city street, making both Goo and Gun tense up as a look of realization passes through their expressions.
What the hell was this woman made of...??
Blade broken by the tight grip of her hand after it had enough of warping and twisting her other hand is already up in the air. Hands flat like a spear, extended, ready to strike.
What happened after that is unclear.
After several moments, it was over. Goo and Gun both lay on the ground motionless, both of them completely unconscious and completely beaten for the first time in their lives. Everything hurt, and the shock from the whole ordeal was weighing heavy on them.
It went against everything they believed had ever known in their lives, the belief that no matter what, they would always win. But she changed that belief forever. Now, they would live the rest of their lives knowing someone more powerful and stronger than them was out there somewhere.
It is a story no one really talks about, since how unbelievable it sounds.
Two of the best, most powerful fighters in SK getting taken down by none other than a woman, in mere minutes.
Perhaps that was a good choice, that no one mentioned it since then, and did their best to keep it a secret. At least some of their ego stayed in tact, but couldn't help how bruised, and a broken they both felt after that.
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sunvmars · 1 year ago
Text
tart | s.r. [3]
pairing: steve rogers x afab/fem reader
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↞ previous | next ↠
word count: 2.4k
warnings: very, very brief smut mention !
summary: steve confesses, bucky offers his help
a/n: another short but fast moving chapter for now, the next few will be much longer and explain/fill any plot holes or missing pieces :) I hardly proof read this so be warned
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Bucky's eyebrow cocks up in confusion as he recalls the mission, "Yeah, what about it?"
Steve takes another deep breath, preparing himself to release the secret he's been keeping, "I found something during that mission."
Bucky narrows his eyes, his curiosity piqued as he leans forward. "Okay, spill it."
Steve leans forward too and rests his elbows on his knees. He knew that saying something was a risk, but keeping it a secret under the new circumstances was riskier. Steve's gaze fixates on the floor as he speaks.
"During that mission, when I was extracting the files we needed, I stumbled upon some classified files. They had information about a hidden experiment conducted years ago called 'Genesis,'" he explains.
Bucky leans forward, his curiosity getting the best of him, "What's that got to do with all of this?"
"It's got everything to do with it," Steve replies, "Genesis was made to create super soldiers and people with enhanced mental abilities like telekinesis, telepathy, everything in between. Their ultimate goal was to fuse DNA from both groups to create a new 'breed' of enhanced individuals."
"Steve, are you saying y/n is connected to this?"
"More than just connected, Buck," Steve admits. "Her father was one of their strongest super soldiers and her mother was an agent. Her mother was also the only successful recipient of the mental ability serum they curated. From what I read, her parents had a secret relationship. They disappeared when her mother became pregnant; likely to save her from whatever fate Hydra had for her."
A sigh leaves Steve's lips before he continues, "Essentially, y/n is the only living evidence that they existed- that this experiment existed."
Steve feels nothing short of horrible and shitty for keeping this from you. He wishes he hadn't done it, but now it was too late to take it back. All he could do now was fix it. And he will fix it.
Bucky's eyes widen as he starts to connect the pieces together. "Let me make sure I'm getting this right here... You're saying she's the only child of a super-soldier and a Hydra agent with mind blowing abilities, both of whom nobody has any knowledge of? And now she's carrying a baby who's a cesspool of these abilities?"
"Yes, but that's not all of it. I hired people to do some digging after that mission. Turns out that the man who conducted those experiments, the one who created her father, he's been searching for her parents ever since. I've had people looking for him, but he's been evading police for years too, changing locations frequently."
Bucky leans back and rubs a hand over his face. "And you think he's aware of her existence?"
"At first, I don't think he did. She had hardly any social media presence, she was homeschooled, her birthname had no relation to her parents. But now I know he knows she's alive. I got a pretty straightforward letter from him two days ago, and I'm not even sure how he found out she was with me. Figured that means he also knows that we've been following him."
"How do you know it was him? What did it say?"
"I know it was him because all it said was, 'I know who she is.'"
"Well, that's definitely straightforward," Bucky huffs, his heart feeling heavy with worry, "Is that why you told her you didn't want the baby?"
"I...I want her and that baby more than anything, but I can't put them in danger. He'll come for me first to get to her. He's probably been trying to find her for years. I'm afraid he's going to start taking more drastic measures if we don't find him soon."
Bucky tries to take in all the information thrown at him, but only finds himself able to focus on the part about you being in danger. "What does he know about her?"
"I don't know, and that's what scares me. I thought that if I got her away from me then he wouldn't have suspected she was ever here, but I guess I was wrong," Steve admits, guilt laced in his tone, "He wants her, Buck, and now he's gonna want our baby too."
"We'll figure something out, Steve. Don't worry." Bucky raises his eyebrows, still confused at what Steve's plan was. "How does her being alone protect her? What if he's already figured out where she is?"
"I wouldn't call it alone, she's just not with me. She's safe at the tower and I've been pulling strings to protect her."
"What kind of strings, Steve? Please don't tell me you've done something stupid."
"Haven't had to yet, just small stuff."
"Like?" Bucky urges, not taking the vague response.
"I stopped assigning her to missions. When I had to throw off suspicion, I made sure she would be with you or Tony. I've got people I trust watching over her when she leaves home alone too."
"That's a little creepy, Steve." Bucky chuckles briefly, shaking his head.
"I was doing everything possible to keep her from leaving a trace that he can pick up on. That's why she's not here and I'm in her chair, drinking this disgusting cocktail in this empty, lonely apartment."
The two of them sit in silence temporarily before Steve speaks again. "I even took down all our pictures and got rid of any trace of her in case he ever suspected me, just couldn't find it in myself to take those two pictures down," he says as he points at the only two remaining frames on the wall.
Bucky's eyes follow where he points and he finds himself smiling at the pictures. Steve smiles too, but because it's all he's got left of you at the moment even though everything in the house had you intertwined with it. Regret fills the holes in his heart and his eyes linger on the pictures for a little too long.
The photo taken at the beach with all three of you? You were in his favorite bikini and, unbeknownst to anyone else, he later fucked you in it in the kitchen while everyone else was outside swimming. Your first date photo? Well, that one's self explanatory. It was sentimental and he wasn't sure he'd ever take that one down, even if you decided you hated him forever.
"But I guess it was all this pain for nothing, huh?" Steve says, smiling weakly.
"You did what you could, just wish you would've came to me. You know I'm here for you and her."
Steve doesn't find it in himself to respond. Bucky was right, he shouldn't of tried to handle this by himself. Guilt pools in his stomach threatening to make him nauseous.
"Were you ever gonna tell her? She should know, Steve, this is her past we're talking about here. If she knows then she'll be prepared for whatever comes our way."
Steve taps his foot, his nerves slowly overwhelming him. "That's the woman I know and love, Bucky, and I know she'll go digging for answers. I can't let her get hurt, especially not now," he says.
Bucky knows there's some truth to this because he knows you almost as well as Steve does- you're relentless when something's important to you. However, he also knows that you deserve the truth- that's part of the whole reason he came to talk to Steve in the first place.
"You need to tell her," Bucky responds, his tone almost demanding. "I've been watching her hurt for the last few months over something that isn't even her fault."
"I know, and I'm gonna tell her..."
"It sounds like there's a 'but' coming after that, and I really don't wanna hear-"
"But I'm going to find him first."
For a moment he thinks to himself 'he can't be serious, can he?' Then he looks at his friend who has determination written all over his face. He sees a glimpse of that scrawny, nervous kid Steve used to be for a second, and that's what worries him; that's how he knows he won't stop until he finds this guy.
"I'll do whatever it takes to keep them safe. I'll take down all of Hydra if I have to, I'm not letting them get close to her."
"You don't even know where this guy is, Steve. As your best friend, I can't let you take a chance on getting hurt when you do find him. No matter how shitty you've been, she still loves you a lot. She needs you, and so will that baby."
"Buck, this is something I have to do-"
"Then I'll do it for you," Bucky interrupts, the words leaving his mouth before he gets the chance to second guess them. "Give me what you have on him and I'll handle it."
Steve is dumbfounded. He's got the same 'he can't be serious' look that Bucky had mere seconds ago.
"Absolutely not. With your history with them, that's not a risk I can let you take."
Bucky smiles sympathetically. "But I don't have a family like you will. Don't get me wrong, you and y/n are my family, but you've got a baby on the way, punk. I've got nothing to lose here, it's not up for debate."
Steve frowns at this. He looks torn, his emotions at war within him. On one hand, he wants to protect you and his baby at all costs. On the other hand, he can't bear to lose his best friend again.
"Bucky, you're like a brother to me; I don't think I can put you in harm's way and ask you to do this," Steve says, his voice filled with desperation, "But I can't risk y/n and the baby's safety either."
Bucky's expression softens as he places a reassuring hand on Steve's shoulder. "You're gonna be a father soon, Rogers. You need to be there for them. Just let me handle this, they can't get to me anymore. I've got more ties to Hydra than anyone, I can probably pull some strings of my own."
Steve sighs upon realizing that Bucky's decision is unshakable. "You promise me you'll be careful. You'll keep me updated on everything and if anything seems off, I want you to retreat immediately."
He laughs before saying, "You're gonna be a damn good dad, you know?"
Steve narrows his eyes at him. "I'm serious, Buck."
"Alright, alright. I promise, and I'll keep you updated, okay?" Bucky agrees, throwing his hands up in the air to show his compliance.
Steve then reaches for his phone and begins to compile all the information he's gathered about Zepher Hawthorne. He anonymously sends the files to Bucky who immediately starts to study them closely. Bucky glances up to give Steve a reassuring smile.
"I'll be as careful as they come, Steve. Don't worry about me."
With their roles now clearly defined, they continue to discuss their plan in detail. They agree on secure communication channels, establish a backup line for communication, and set up a timeline for Bucky's investigation into Hawthorne. It's a risky endeavor, and they know that, but they're both determined to protect you and the unborn child.
As Bucky prepares to leave, Steve can't help but feel a renewed sense of hope that he'd lost when you told him about the baby. He knows he has a difficult conversation ahead with you, but he's also more motivated than ever to show you his dedication to protecting your little family.
Right as Bucky's about to leave, he turns around to look at Steve. "I'll put it some vacation days and let you know once I have a lead; in the meantime, go talk to her. If you don't wanna tell her the full story until I find him, then you at least need to tell her that you want her and the baby. Sound good?"
"Works for me," Steve chuckles lightly before giving Bucky a tight hug. "See you around?"
"I always come back," Bucky jokes as the door shuts behind him.
With that, Bucky leaves to prepare. Steve, however, takes a deep breath and picks up his keys. He knows it's time to open up to you about everything that's been hidden for far too long. He stands in the empty apartment motionless for a moment, the weight of the impending conversation heavy on him. It's not that he doesn't want you to know, but he doesn't want you to worry. After taking a deep breath he leaves the apartment and locks the door behind him.
As he heads towards the apartment elevator, his mind races with thoughts of how to approach you. He knows this won't be easy, and he's prepared to take all your anger and confusion because he knows he deserves it. Yet he's also determined to help you understand that at first he did everything he did to keep you safe; now he's doing what he has to in order to keep his family safe.
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You're in the Avengers Tower sleeping comfortably your warm bed. You're peacefully unaware of the bombshell revelation that has just been dropped, but it won't stay that way for much longer. As Steve walks through the hallways he finally reaches your room.
He hesitates briefly before knocking gently on the door. It's quiet in your room so he waits for a moment, but then...nothing. His worry grows and horrible thoughts swarm in his brain. He knocks again, a bit more urgently this time.
On the other side of the door, you slowly begin to stir. The knocking finally registers in your drowsy mind, and you groggily call out, "Who is it?"
"It's Steve," he answers, his voice riddled with worry.
His voice has you awake instantly, but your heart races at the seriousness in his tone. You slide out of bed and hurriedly make your way to the door. Your fingers fumble with the lock at first but you find it within seconds. The door opens to reveal Steve standing there, his expression tense.
"Steve?" you ask, worry etching into your features as you take in the look on his face, "Why are you here? Are you okay?"
He steps into your room and turns on the dim light before closing the door behind him. He sighs deeply, rubbing his hands together.
"We need to talk," he insists. "There's something I should've told you a long time ago."
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taglist!
@oh-thats-cute @vicmc624 @blackhawkfanatic @tooruen
@athenabarnes @gh0stgurl @missing-loki @elizacusi-blog
@terry2227 @imyourbratzdoll @starksbabie @diannana
@flowers-and-fichte @ozwriterchick @kandis-mom @nouk1998
think I managed to add everyone, but if I forgot your tag, or you want to be added to or removed from the tag list for this series, leave a comment or message me :)
582 notes · View notes
heeseungiez · 3 months ago
Text
RESOLUTION 3) become popular at school
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pairings! park jay x fem!reader, sim jake x reader, mentions of heeseung x reader
synopsis! park jay always thought of you as the annoying little miss perfect who could do no wrong in the eyes of his, yours and heeseung’s parents. he wasn’t fond of you in the slightest for that very reason. but when you dropped the act after your perfect image had shattered in front of everyone, he can’t help but feel drawn to you. when he discovers another one of your secrets, he thinks he might truly have to ruin you for the whole world to know how far from perfect you truly are.
content warnings! smut (mdni! 18+), swearing, all of them are idiots, heeseung is desperate and so is jay low-key
word count! ~12k
taglist! OPEN! send an ask to be added!
a/n! i have no idea how the last part's gonna turn out i'll be very honest
masterlist | next
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Good morning, Decelis!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought: “Wow, what a sad little life they lead.” Well, that’s how I feel like looking at Park Jay these days. What’s he up to anyway?
XO, Miss Decelis
Jay hated it here.
The one place where he was to be safe from you, his home, had been invaded not just by your family, but you as well. 
Okay, maybe, obviously, since his parents wanted to have a huge barbecue with the other families, but still, seeing you at his backyard made him want to dig himself a hole in the ground and stay there forever. Especially when he saw the adoring looks on his parents faces whenever they regarded you.
“We are so happy you’re healthy, Y/N,” his father said. 
His mum couldn’t keep her hands off of you, placing them on your shoulders, then cheeks to examine you. “When we heard what happened, we tried to help as much as we could.”
“And you did,” you replied with a bright smile, softly pushing his mum’s hands away from you without voicing out your discomfort at the excessive skinship. “My parents told me I was staying at your summer house in the summer?” And that you got me into the rehabilitation centre I went to.”
Well, Jay did not know that. She lived at his family’s summer house? In one of the guest rooms, he supposed. But did she snoop? Jay didn’t have that much stuff in there, but some personal things could be found here and there. He shifted in his place uncomfortably.
“Yes. That is true. But we still felt like we could do more,” Jay’s father sighed, glancing at his son. “We didn’t imagine Jay would ever let anything like this happen to you.”
And look, he probably wouldn’t. He might’ve disliked you, but what happened was fucked up and had he been there to witness it, he’d help you. Of course, he’d help you, he’s not a monster. But he wasn’t there because the last thing he wanted to do was to be stuck to your side at a party. You had your own friends.
Yet it still ate at him from the inside. 
The thing was, although Heeseung was the oldest of the four of you, getting him to actually care about something was as difficult as trying to turn a stone into a living being. So it was up to Jay to look after everyone as the second oldest. But with you, he didn’t want to do it because you annoyed him.
How? Well, this. The way his parents were fussing over you because Jay’s mum always wanted to have a daughter and apparently you were the next best thing. Plus, you were a star student and just perfection incarnate to the point literally nobody even considered the fact that you were bullied. If Jay had known, he would’ve put a stop to it before it could get any worse.
Which he also hated. That he didn’t know about it. It pissed him off that you kept it a secret and didn’t tell anyone just to remain a little miss perfect in the eyes of everyone rather than admitting that there was something wrong and you needed help. 
You glanced at him. Pursing your lips, you shook your head. “I’m sure he wouldn't if he knew,” you replied because you knew Jay well enough. 
He disliked you, but he never let you get hurt physically. Even mentally, it was mostly Jay giving you the cold shoulder rather than being an actual dick the way Heeseung had been. So while Heeseung would watch you fall just so you understood he wanted to have nothing to do with you, Jay would try to catch you.
And really, it wasn’t just his caring nature at this point. You were just so… irritating in a way Jay couldn’t describe because despite Jay’s insistence to ignore you, you’d always show up with something to get his attention over the years.
When you were thirteen, you gifted Jay a pick because you heard he liked playing the guitar.
When you were fifteen, you spent your entire savings just to gift Jay a guitar he couldn’t shut up about a few months before. That was how desperate you were for his acceptance. But it also came from a genuine, generous place in your heart where you liked to see the stunned expression on Jay’s face and the inability to hold in the smile forming on his lips.
And then at sixteen, you had heard Jay complain about losing his favourite pick somewhere in school, only for you to turn up some hours later with the pick in hand, saying that you found it on the desk of some girl in your class because she was boasting about having stolen it from the Park Jay.
“You’re too sweet, Y/N,” Jay’s mum said, grinning. “Is there anything you need now?”
“I’m good, Mrs Park, but thank you.” You shook your head, before bowing out of the conversation to join Jeonghyeon’s side again. Jay watched you bump his shoulder with a smile.
“Look after her, yeah? Clearly, she’s been through a lot.” Jay’s father approached him, patting his shoulder. 
Jay nodded. “I know, dad,” he said. “I’m trying. But we don’t share all classes.” It surprised him how bitter he sounded about it. That he couldn’t keep his eyes on you at all times. But there were many classes you had with Heeseung. 
And Jake.
The boy who had been dreamily staring at you this whole time while you mingled with the others. But they knew why. Every single time Jake would get lost at school, Jay, Heeseung and Sunghoon knew exactly where they would most likely find him (or preferably not).
“Maybe you could keep her company at the annual Sim family event for Jake. It’s coming, and I know neither of you boys usually bring dates. So take Y/N. Look after her,” Jay’s father suggested with a pointed look. It wasn’t a command, but Jay wished it had been because then he could ask you and pretend he didn’t want to.
“Yeah, dad, I will.”
But when Jay glanced at you again, laughing at something Jeonghyeon had said, he had to take a deep breath and tell himself that your face did not look angelic in the sunlight nor that your laugh was the loveliest song he had ever heard. Perhaps he could even will his guitar into repeating that exact same sound — no.
And maybe Miss Decelis would finally have something normal to say about him then, instead of constantly talking shit about his business. Seriously, calling his life sad? Who the fuck was this person to attack him like this? Had he done something to them?
It’s like now that they couldn’t attack you, they switched up to Jay and his lack of anything. But he blamed you for that. Most of his actions were driven by spite, and he could hardly be spiteful if you barely looked at him, could he? And it wasn’t his fault that he could not stop thinking of the day of Changbin’s party when he could quite literally see your boobs because your strap was falling off. Or the fact that he knew Heeseung did something shortly before even without Miss Decelis’ report.
He didn’t even realise you were standing in front of him until you spoke up. “Look, I know you don’t like me and whatever, but you don’t need to keep glaring at me,” you said, unimpressed. 
“I’m not glaring at you,” Jay responded with the same energy, looking you in the eye. “But are you going to Jake’s birthday party with someone?” he asked sarcastically, since the birthday party was more of a boast event for Jake’s parents to show off their amazing son.
“Uh, with Jeonghyeon and Hanbin?” you replied with a raised brow, confused as to why Jay would ask you this. And although Jay knew it was impossible for you to go with Jake as he was very much going to be a decorative doll tagging along with his parents the whole day, he was relieved you didn’t say he asked you to go with him. “I guess Hanbin said he’s going with some other friends, Sunoo and Jungwon? So maybe just Jeonghyeon… which also means Hee—”
“Go with me.” Jay didn’t let you finish the sentence. It made sense you would go with Jeonghyeon and Heeseung together since they were family, but Jay didn’t like to hear that either way. Whatever Heeseung’s deal with you was, Jay thought it would be better to keep you away from him. As far away as possible.
“Why?” Of course, you’d ask that.
“Because I said so.” Jay shrugged. “Is that so hard to understand?” He rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, duh?”
“Just go with me, Y/N,” Jay sighed, running a hand through his hair. He had no proper explanation for why he wanted you to go. He could say his father ordered him to do so, but you would most certainly say no in that case. And he didn’t know what force in the world actually made him want you to say yes.
“And what will I get out of it?” you asked, crossing your arms. “I imagine you might finally get Miss Decelis to say something nice about you again, but what is in it for me?”
“A thank you?” Jay offered seriously. “For everything. Not just going with me, but also all that you’ve done for me in the past while trying to befriend me. Because I do remember every single thing. Especially last year, when you brought back my pick. Honestly, I wanted to thank you then, but I was just… too stunned to speak, you could say. I still have the pick you gave me, too, and the guitar.”
“Yeah, I’d bet  you wouldn’t throw that guitar away. It cost almost as much as a whole Porsche,” you scoffed.
But Jay ignored you, pulling out the pick you gave him when you were kids from his wallet instead. “And what about this? Why do you think I wouldn’t throw this away?” he asked, shaking his head. “Look, I’m sorry for being a dick, but you were so—”
“Perfect?” you supplied for him. “See, that’s the funny thing. I used to think that being perfect would make people like me, but instead, what I got was you and Heeseung being assholes, and being thrown into a pool. I don’t even know why I tried so hard.”
“It’s our nature to want to be liked,” Jay said wisely, shrugging. “I am sorry, though. I was petty, but not any less grateful about these things.” He placed the pick into your palm, wrapping your fingers around it.
“No, it’s yours, keep it.” You shook your head, returning it to Jay. “I don’t play the guitar, so it’s useless for me.”
“Right.”
“But sure, I’ll go with you if it makes you feel better,” you said, pursing your lips. “We can start over and all that. With me not being fake, and you being less petty over it.” A smile graced your lips, and Jay hated how pretty it made you look.
“Hey, Y/N, Jay! Come eat with us!” Jake called after the both of you, a raised brow aimed at you both in a silent question — what could you two possibly be talking about?
Jake was speechless. “You’re going to my birthday party with Jay?” he asked in front of your friends as you all sat at the Academy’s courtyard, trying to process the words that had left your mouth moments ago.
“He asked me,” you replied with a shrug. “Look, he started apologising for being a dick and I would’ve felt bad if I said no after that. He still had that pick I gave him as a kid.” The frown on your lips appeared against your volition. But when you gave it to him, you liked him. Out of the three boys, you liked Park Jay the most when you were kids. When you heard he liked playing the guitar from Jeonghyeon, giving him that dark green pick with your initials carved into it in the smallest letters was your best way of conveying that. And he still had that damned pick.
“Oh yeah, he carries it in his wallet,” Jake said knowingly as if he wasn’t trying to be angry that you agreed to go to an event celebrating him with a different guy.
In your defence, whatever you had with Jake wasn’t a defined relationship. You never asked what the two of you were, and you preferred it that way for the time being, because a relationship was the last thing you wanted. You still struggled with taking care of yourself, let alone having to share that with another person, even if that person would be Jake.
“What an interesting turn of events,” Ning hummed, a smirk permanently stuck to her face.
“I said it. Weird obsession with Y/N. Not surprising,” Jeonghyeon spoke, rolling his eyes.
“Yeah, just because a guy doesn’t like you, doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to fuck you,” Ning added, which led to a glare from Jeonghyeon, and she giggled innocently. “Look, hate-sex is a thing. Fight me.”
“Whatever.” You shook your head. “It doesn’t matter anyway. Even if I enter the building with Jay, it won’t change anything about the rest of the event. Jake’s parents plan far too meticulously for anything out of line to happen.”
“I mean, that is true. But I still don’t like it.” Jake pouted, and you cupped his cheeks, squishing them. His eyes softened as he gazed at you, turning to your friends. “Have you guys got your invitations already?”
“Yessir!” Ning saluted. 
“Cool.” Jake bit his bottom lip, turning to face you. “Me and the guys are planning an after party, so you should all come. My parents are not gonna suffocate me with unconditional praise forever, so I plan to sneak out, and y’all can just… leave on your own.”
“From your house?” Jeonghyeon asked with a raised brow, reminding everyone that the birthday event hosted by the Sims happened at the Sim residence. (Unexpectedly so.)
“Well, it’s a plan. I never said it was a logical one.” Jake deadpanned, and you had to remind yourself that Jeonghyeon and Jake have known each other as long as you have. The separation of your friend groups over the years really messed with your brain, so all of you speaking together now felt… a bit strange. But in a good way.
“Yoi, Jake, here you are.” Sunghoon approached your group. At first, he had tunnel vision on the blond boy only, but then he noticed you right next to him, and he smiled. “Oh, hey, Y/N.”
“We’re here too, you know,” said Jeonghyeon, rolling his eyes. But Sunghoon completely ignored him, and even Ning who intently glared at him for not greeting her either. Sunghoon didn’t even blink, keeping his attention on you and Jake only.
“What’s up, Hoon?” Jake asked, tilting his head to the side. It made him look so much like a golden retriever, you couldn’t help the grin that decorated your lips nor the warmth that spread through your chest.
“I need your help with my English assignment,” Sunghoon replied, not hiding the fact that he needed help. It was kind of a known fact that his English was not the best, which was why he didn’t share English class with you, Jake and Heeseung. Jay just didn’t want to bother with the higher level.
“Why don’t you ask Heeseung?” Jake raised a brow, not wanting to leave you.
“He’s not Australian.” Sunghoon blankly stared at Jake.
“Okay, okay, I get it. I’ll help you,” Jake sighed, getting up from his seat. “Don’t forget what I told you guys, okay?” He gave Jeonghyeon, Ning and you one last look, adding a kiss to your temple before joining Sunghoon’s side.
As they left and you watched them, you wondered how come Jake was so unaffected by the tweet from Miss Decelis that came out not long after your first time together. Surely, it had to be weird between the guys if they were aware, right? But then again, Jake didn’t seem uncomfortable talking about or to Heeseung either.
You wanted to ask about it, but you weren’t sure you wanted to know the answer to that question.
Good morning, Decelis!
The annual Jake Sim party is almost upon us! Who’s excited? I already RSVP’d for the event, but did you?
XO, Miss Decelis
Being at Jay’s house on your own without anyone else accompanying you was weird. Usually, you wouldn’t step foot in here unless your parents were on your tail. But today, you were there, because your mum sent you here. Apparently, she had something to pick up from Mrs Park but couldn’t make the trip herself, so you were the one who was sent on a mission to the house.
But you clearly didn’t time your visit correctly because the person who opened the door for you was none other than Jay.
He smirked at the sight of you, his eyes roaming from head to toe before fixating on your own. Today, you didn’t bother wearing contacts, so your casual look with glasses on was back for a time being. It was the weekend, after all, and you had nobody to impress.
“Missed me?” Jay said a bit too confidently for your liking, and you scoffed, pushing him aside to enter his house without his permission.
“Is your mum here? She has something to give to my mum, apparently.” You looked around the hallway, but it was empty.
“Funny you asked,” Jay chuckled, “‘cause Mum gave it to me to give to you. Wait here, I’ll go get it. It’s in my room.”
You let out a sigh, looking around you again, not liking how eerie the hallway felt when it was so empty. Usually, whenever you were here, it was with other people, and that meant this house was bustling and full of chatter. Today, it seemed like the only person inside this house was Jay. Even the faint music playing from his room (probably) creeped you out.
“Or you can go with me,” he said, noticing the discomfort in your expression. “C’mon, it’s just some files for your mum, so it’s on my desk right now.”
Without thinking much about it, Jay took your hand in his and lightly tugged at it to get you to move. “You kinda get used to the emptiness when you live here long enough,” he added. “It’s nowhere near living in a penthouse inside a constantly packed hotel.”
“Yeah, it’s really not,” you said mindlessly, letting Jay pull you up the stairs to his bedroom. Your eyes fixated on the photos of Jay as a kid, doing all kinds of things. Cooking with his mum, playing the guitar while his dad played the piano. It was slightly different to the hall of fame dedicated to Jake at the Sim residence. And what you also noticed was the few photos that included you when you were younger, with Heeseung, Jay and Jake. You were trying to smile and be happy alongside Jake, but Heeseung and Jay had the fakest smiles possible plastered to their faces.
Your feet stopped moving then, firmly planted to the ground as you stared at the pictures for longer than was necessary. Jay had to stop with you. When he realised what you were looking at, he chewed on the inside of his cheek. Another thing to apologise for.
“If I’d known how much harder—”
“Don’t, Jay.” You shook your head, stopping him with your hand in front of his face. You softly yanked the hand that was locked with his out of his grasp and looked him in the eyes. Your stony expression spoke for itself. “I don’t like thinking about it.”
Jay pursed his lips and momentarily averted his gaze to the ground. He didn’t want you to see how guilty he felt about everything. Because he saw most of what had happened to you during the time when he was completely ignorant. When the principal found all the proof he needed to expel the people who caused you harm, your parents were brought in to see it for themselves. And when they told the other parents, Jay also found out. He didn’t tell either Heeseung, Jake or Sunghoon about it, but he knew.
The girls who bullied you kept videos of most of the things they’d done. Like spilling banana milk all over you. And the worst part was that Jay remembered the day when it happened. He knew you’d come to school in your uniform, but then spent the rest of the day in your P.E. clothes, and he never questioned why. Maybe he should’ve.
“Still—”
“There’s nothing more to say.” This time, you glared at him. The last thing you wanted was to be reminded of your past. Jay was definitely the last person you wanted to recall it with. He didn’t care then, and now it was too late to care. Besides, if you were to delve into it and he was actually trying to help you now, you’d just be more upset with him for the things he hadn’t done in the past. 
Closing his eyes, Jay nodded. “Right. Of course.”
“Let’s just get what I came here for so I can get out of your way as soon as possible,” you said with a sigh, pushing past Jay because you actually knew exactly where his room was. You never saw inside it, but you knew where it was from when you were a kid who just met him. It was the place you’d always wanted to step into, but were never allowed.
And a part of you, the old you, wanted to wait in front of the door and get Jay’s permission to enter first because that was the polite thing to do. It would also mean Jay’s approval. But there was no reason to care about it anymore. So you just opened the door to the room that was basically an equivalent of the Forbidden Forest for you.
The first thing you noticed was how big his room was. The next was the wall lined with expensive guitars as if the room was an instrument store. And third, the most important, was the guitar you had given him for his birthday when you were younger. It wasn’t on the wall with the other guitars. Instead, it hung right above his bed alongside a photo of all of you: the Parks, the Sims, the Lees, your family. You and the others had to position yourself on the ground so that your parents could all stand behind you, and it was the one photo where none of you looked miserable.
“Welcome to my room, I guess,” Jay said once he caught up to you, shoving his hands into his pockets. He didn’t want to show how nervous he was for you to see it. Maybe if he hadn’t remembered that your guitar was right above his bed, he wouldn’t have been, but… it was too late anyway.
You let out a huff, your eyes roaming the gaming setup Jay had. There was also a TV with PS4 and Xbox consoles and a Nintendo Switch laying around because why wouldn’t he have all of it?
“So, where’s the files?” you asked, glancing at him.
“Right.” Jay nodded, crossing the room. It was the plain black folder on his desk, but you didn’t want to assume and intrude more than you already have. You had some manners left in you, after all. “Here.”
You accepted the file with a grateful smile. “Thanks,” you said. “If that’s all, I’m gonna go.”
“Wait, Y/N.” Jay didn’t even know what he wanted to say. He just didn’t want this moment to be so awkward between you two. So he mindlessly grabbed your wrist to keep you in place and make you look at him. To look into his eyes.
“Yeah?” You bit your lip, and Jay followed the action a little too eagerly.
“Does everything have to be so awkward between us?”
“I’d argue that’s pretty much your fault,” you said casually, but it was the truth.
“I’m sorry.” Jay ran a hand through his hair.
“Stop apologising. It just makes it less genuine the more you do it. The words lose their weight.” You shook your head. “You know that saying about actions speaking louder than words? Maybe try to do that.”
Jay scoffed. “I can’t exactly go around threatening people the way Heeseung does,” he said, and you raised a brow at him.
“Of course not. Because he’s doing that for himself. Not for me,” you replied. “Maybe just try being my friend for once, Jay. An actual friend. We’ll see where that goes.”
Jay pursed his lips, nodding. “Okay…” he said. “I think I can do that.”
“So? Can I leave now?”
“Actually, Y/N, would you like to watch a movie with me?”
“What?”
“I’m bored.” Jay shrugged. “And the house’s gonna be empty for a few more hours.”
“And you don’t think I have plans?”
“Not in that outfit, you don’t,” Jay countered, examining your whole figure once more. But he was right. You would’ve probably watched movies at home by yourself anyway.
“Ugh, sure. Whatever,” you agreed.
“Action?” Jay asked, letting go of your wrist. He approached the TV in his room, looking at you quizzically.
“Yeah, I wanted to re-watch—”
“Captain America?” Jay cut you off, and your eyes widened. He was right. You did want to re-watch the Captain America movies. They were your favourites among the Marvel movies, and you could never get quite enough of Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
Tilting your head to the side, you asked, “How did you know—”
“Just because I pretended to ignore you, it doesn’t mean I didn’t actually listen.” He rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t blame you for thinking that he wouldn’t know anything about you. Though the fact was that he probably knew a little too much for his own good. (Another reason why it angered him that he didn’t know about your bullies.) “And yes, I will put on The Winter Soldier,” he added, controller in hand.
You were speechless. But you didn’t ask this time.
How well did Park Jay actually know you?
So you were now friends with Jay. You and Jake were in a non-committed relationship — a situationship, if you will — and Heeseung was doing whatever it was that he was doing in regards to you. Which meant one very simple thing: people were now looking at you. Really looking at you. 
Which was convenient because your third resolution for the year was to become popular at school. This counted, right? At least among other things, anyway. 
People actually turned whenever you passed by, and while the attention wasn’t what you imagined, you still held your head high and walked forward as if there was nobody but you. One thing had been people’s initial shock over you being back, but now… they were judging again, and perhaps even more harshly than before.
Ugh. You just wanted to get to English class.
“If you let them know that you know they are watching, it’ll just make it worse,” Heeseung whispered in your ear. It startled you, jumping away from the boy who suddenly appeared by your side. 
“What the hell, Heeseung!” you scolded him, slapping his chest with your hand. A lopsided grin decorated his lips, and he knew he looked good at that moment. 
You wondered how many girls were at the receiving end of it before you.
“I’m just offering useful advice.” He shrugged, stepping closer to you. “I also wanted to talk to you, but you seem to avoid me like the plague.”
Your brow rose. “You’re the one still trying to pretend you don’t like me,” you said matter-of-factly, and he made a non-committal sound in response.  “Maybe that’s where you went wrong.”
“Maybe.” Heeseung nodded, shoving his hands into the pockets of his trousers. 
“What do you want?”
Humming, Heeseung smirked at you again. “Just wondering if you and Jake are exclusive and all that.”
“Why don’t you ask him?” You deadpanned. 
“He talks about you as if you were his girlfriend, I don’t think I have to know his side.” Heeseung clicked his tongue and shook his head. “So I wanna know what you think. Since you two clearly haven’t had that talk yet.”
Stopping in your tracks, you turned to Heeseung and crossed your arms. “We did,” you said. “Literally right after Miss Decelis exposed that mistake I made inside Sunghoon’s car, by the way. If I’d known—”
“You’d still want it,” Heeseung said nonchalantly, laughing. Which sounded a lot like it was aimed at you. To mock you. “Wish we weren’t interrupted…” he mumbled, eyeing you.
“Out of everyone, I think I really hate you the most,” you said, reminiscing of your childhood alongside Heeseung. 
Why were you even trying so hard back then? With Jay, you’d always gotten the smallest snippets of hope whenever he looked slightly surprised and pleased despite trying to pretend he was not. But Heeseung had always been careless. Nothing mattered to him.
Heeseung’s brows furrowed, and he frowned. “No, you don’t,” he said. 
“Yes, I do,” you countered, glaring up at him.
And you hated what followed afterward even more, with Heeseung invading your personal space to claim your lips for himself. You hated the way your body reacted automatically, responding with just as much heat, your kisses matching his own.
You hated the way your hands roamed his broad shoulders until you had your fingers tangled in his hair, bringing him even closer to you. 
You hated the way your whole body sought him out, heart beating in your ears. The way you arched in an attempt to be pressed flat against his body, feeling the growing bulge between his legs on your stomach. Heeseung groaned into your mouth, and you swallowed the delicious sound, rubbing your thighs together. 
And then the spell was broken when the bell rang. 
People had been watching, and you realised that you were royally fucked.
Good morning, Decelis!
I’d like to say that Lee Heeseung might finally be marking his territory but… I fear a little birdie has told me that our lovely Y/N is going to the annual Sim Jake praising event with Park Jay.
It seems that our childhood friends have finally become… friends?
XO, Miss Decelis
Heeseung wanted to be pleased about what happened between you and him. He especially loved the way you squirmed under his gaze after the two of you made your way inside the English classroom, and Jake was right there. 
But they were featured on Miss Decelis the next morning, and he realised that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea with all the replies underneath the post.
He knew he shouldn’t care. He never cared before anyway. But this was you. And he couldn’t get past the nasty comments that called you an attention whore because you were taking advantage of everyone feeling sorry for you.
He hoped you didn’t read any of it. But he also knew you were basically a walking and talking Miss Decelis encyclopaedia.
Not the greatest way to start off the day of Jake’s birthday event. Especially knowing that your date was going to be Jay.
Jay.
They really were the most pathetic guys on the block. All it took was not seeing you or hearing from you the whole summer, and suddenly they both missed you and neither actually disliked you.
Jake loved any kind of attention, and you gave him plenty. It was enough for all three of them to suddenly become a whole mess of losers for you.
Maybe if Heeseung had Sunghoon’s resolve and simply didn’t talk to you, he’d be doing far better. But something told him that Sunghoon’s case was just a matter of time.
All these thoughts were going through the boy’s head as he stared at himself in the mirror, overthinking his outfit. It was simple, a suit tailored just for him without a tie. But perhaps it was too simple.
Jay and Jake were absolutely going to wear something in an attempt to impress you, and Heeseung was only lucky that Sunghoon couldn’t afford doing so. Unless his suit was going to come from your father’s pocket as another donation to the up-and-coming figure skating champion. 
Not even his Prada cologne felt like enough when he knew how excessive Jay’s collection was, and how he always had a specific scent for each event, and how good his colognes actually were. 
Why was he even overthinking this stupid event? It never mattered to him that you were in attendance. Because you would always try to approach him to at least say hi and start any kind of conversation. Which he would cut off very early on. Your dejected pout gave Heeseung a twisted sense of accomplishment whenever he watched you leave. But the reason behind why changed over the years.
At first, he just liked watching you suffer because he, as a very young idiotic kid, thought you were making him suffer. But then, when he was old enough, he kept thinking — and refusing to acknowledge that those were his thoughts in the first place — if you would have that exact same pout during sex when he’d forbid you from cumming. 
Heeseung groaned when he felt his cock harden, and he hated that the mere thought of you did that to him. Especially when you were fucking Jake… of all of them, you chose Jake. 
Running a hand through his hair, Heeseung bit his lower lip. What was he supposed to do about you? Because somehow, you made him feel clueless, and he’d never felt that before. 
“I’m not gonna ask.” 
Heeseung startled when his cousin entered his bedroom without knocking. 
Jeonghyeon looked Heeseung in the eyes through the mirror instead of laying his gaze literally anywhere else, intently holding the eye contact.
“The fuck you want?” Heeseung said indignantly, walking away from the mirror, hiding his boner out of his cousin’s sight. 
“We’re heading out,” Jeonghyeon replied nonchalantly. “But I also wanted to talk to you for a bit,” he added, keeping Heeseung stuck in place, although he couldn’t exactly go quite yet, either. 
“What now?” Heeseung rolled his eyes. 
“Stay away from Y/N,” Jeonghyeon spoke plainly, straight to the point. He did not want you to get hurt, and knowing Heeseung, exactly that was going to happen. 
Heeseung scoffed, licking his lips. “Funny. But no, thanks. You’re not my mother.”
“No, but I’m your cousin. And I’m Y/N’a best friend. The last thing she needs is your pathetic little ass to hurt her more than you already did in the past… So stay the fuck away.”
“I’m guessing neither Jay or Jake got this cute speech of yours?” Heeseung’s brow rose. 
“They don’t need it. Jake was always good to Y/N, and I talked to Jay. He, unlike you, is actually sorry and wants to make shit up to her… and, oh, did I mention he’s not trying to get in her pants?”
“Boo-hoo, if you really think that, then you know jackshit about Jay.”
“All I need to know is that he’s better than you,” said Jeonghyeon. 
Heeseung’s jaw clenched, and he clicked his tongue. “Was that necessary?”
“Very.” Jeonghyeon nodded. “At least Jake and Jay know what it means to care. Maybe once you acquire that skill, we can have this talk again. But until then, just stay away.”
“Jeonghyeon!” Your voice carried through the corridor as you called after Heeseung’s cousin. “Where are you guys, we’re about to leave without both of you dumbasses.” You approached Jeonghyeon, peering through the door into Heeseung’s room.
A very plain room at that. Just like his outfit. Its main attractions were the bed, the gaming setup and his showcased collection of mechanical keyboards — which he had put together himself (!) with his own hands. But that still left a large empty space in the middle of the room. Jake and Sunghoon had joked about being able to play Twister in it way too many times by now. 
You, on the other hand, were the exact opposite of plain. Your dress was gold, glittery and tight, hugging your curves and stopping at your mid-thighs. Last year, he would’ve made a remark about you looking like a golden disco ball, but he dared not say anything now. Last year, you wouldn’t even fight him on it and simply glare; but this year, you looked like you would have no issue coming up to him and slapping him for being rude. 
Not to mention this year, Heeseung wasn’t afraid to admit that he would love to tear that dress off you. He craved feeling your heated skin under his touch again, and you being within reach so often did not make it any easier for him. 
“Heeseung has a bit of a problem right now, so I think he’ll take a while,” said Jeonghyeon, smirking when he saw the mortified expression on Heeseung’s face. “You and Jay can probably go ahead anyway. Is he taking you in his car?”
“Yeah.” You smiled softly. Because, yeah — that’s fucking right — you and Jay were now friends. Heeseung had to hold in the annoyed groan.
But at least this reminder served like a nice, ice cold bucket of water being poured over him, dealing with the little problem in his crotch area. 
He was ready to go. 
“I’ll see you guys at Jake’s.” You grinned with a small adorable wave aimed at — strangely enough — both him and Jeonhyeon. 
Except, unlike Heeseung, Jeonghyeon received a kiss on the cheek which you had to lift yourself up on your tiptoes for and he had to slightly bend down in the knees. 
Then you were gone with a wink. 
“Stop glaring at me, dickhead,” Jeonghyeon said. “She tried to be your friend. It’s not my fault you’re stupid.”
This time, Heeseung let out the indignant and frustrated groan that had been building. He ran a hand over his face. 
“Let’s just go.”
Sim Jake did not hate his birthday per se, but it was fair to say he wasn’t fond of it. Well, he would be if he was allowed to simply spend the day with his friends, but that wasn’t possible with his parents.
They didn’t care that all Jake really wanted to do was to be stuck by your side, maybe steal a kiss or two, and call that his best birthday ever. His parents needed to have a whole house party to show everyone — over and over again — the photos and diplomas and medals that Jake had acquired through his 18 years of living. Maybe if it hadn’t come to him so naturally, his parents wouldn’t be so adamant at showing him and his achievements off. But here he was. 
Watching his parents and staff run around the house as the last finishing touches were being done for the first guests to arrive. 
Jake was stuffed in a dark blue tailored suit his parents forced him into getting done, the material tight and soft on his skin. He hated how stuffed it made him feel, especially with everything going on around him. 
He was just excited to see you again. As if he hadn’t texted you minutes ago or saw you yesterday. It was something he realised recently — that he sought you out wherever he went. Jake would always sport the largest grin in your presence, loving to make you smile. Your laugh was a virus he kept catching, and he lived for those moments when he would tease you and you’d scrunch your nose and lightly hit his chest or shoulder. 
To him, it wasn’t just about those intimate moments he shared with you, but also your friendship and how much he’d grown to like you over the past few months. It was different when he barely knew you and the two of you acknowledged each other from time to time. This was about your shared love for superhero movies and the way you laughed softly and cooed whenever you saw Jake’s enormous Lego collection, saying it made you like him even more. 
He wanted to make you love him, but it seemed that the exact opposite happened instead.
So it wasn’t wrong of him to feel a bit upset, if not jealous, about you coming to his birthday event with Jay, right? (He tried to pretend nothing ever happened between you and Heeseung these days, too.)
Running a hand through his hair, Jake made his way to the foyer where he would be tasked with greeting all the guests. It was about time for the event to start, and the first ring of the bell signalled just that.
Jake sighed, opening the door.
“Hi! Happy birthday!” you greeted the boy enthusiastically, wrapping your arms around his neck. And then you pulled away and left a big wet kiss on his cheek, which left a faint pink print of your lips from your lip gloss. “This is the first time I’m here this early,” you remarked with a smile, gazing at Jake. 
“Hey, man.” Jay’s hug was less warm and he patted Jake’s shoulder. A bright contrast to your crushing embrace.
“Hi.” Jake smiled at both of you, nodding. “You’re the first one’s here, so feel free to go wild at the buffet while everything’s stacked.”
“Will do!” you said, saluting. “Will probably need it to survive the day anyway. Just remind me I have a big gift for you, Jake.”
Jay deadpanned, glancing at you. “What? Are you letting him fuck your ass or something?”
“Pervert?” you said, hitting Jay’s chest. But there was a light-hearted smile on your lips. “You’re just jealous.”
“Am I? I didn’t notice,” Jay replied. But it was a big fat lie. Jake saw Jay’s ears redden with the lie, and he wasn’t sure how to feel about that knowledge. Should he be surprised? Probably not. 
Of course, he wanted you. He’d be stupid not to. Fucking MILFs was never going to last anyway. Not when you were right here, and you were perfect. Then there was Heeseung. And Jake saw the photos from yesterday.
Heeseung and Jake had shared too many girls to count by now, but with you, he wanted to be selfish. He would’ve preferred to have you all to himself, but he was scared of making the next step. What if you rejected him because you didn’t want a real relationship? Was he even ready for a relationship?
He never was in one to begin with. Neither of them have. Never had they before become serious with a girl. It had always been casual fucks, usually not more than once with the same girl except for some special cases; and now there was you. For Jake, at least, there was you.
How was he supposed to act around a girl who made him inexplicably happy?
“Find me if you’re bored, Jakey. I’ll be around with Jay, I guess.” You glanced at the slightly taller boy with feigned annoyance, and Jay rolled his eyes.
“You could’ve just said no.”
“But that’s no fun.” You grinned. 
Fuck, Jake was down bad for you.
You were true to your word and stuck around Jay even when your friends arrived. It was almost as if you could sense his discomfort when he wasn’t with his group of friends. You were always quick to take hold of a conversation whenever someone approached you, usually to speak to you about what had happened. That was when Jay would step in and keep you from reliving your past memories because unlike with him, you couldn’t exactly tell these strangers to shut up.
The least he could do was be short with those people for you. Because despite everything, you were still trying to keep the perfect image around your parents’ associates. At school, nothing mattered anymore, but at events like these? They all had to pretend to be the pliant little dolls raised by their successful parents.
But it was hard to even be here. For Jay, at least, since all he could think about when he saw you in your dress was what it would look like on the ground — which he was really disgusted with himself for, by the way. He just managed to establish a solid friendship with you, and all he could think of was whether the moans you made whenever you tasted something really good would be the same when he tasted your pussy.
God, he needed to get it together.
You were hooking up with Jake. And the three — no, four — of them promised each other they would not try to sleep with the same girl nearly half a year ago. It was part of their history that neither was very proud of, and Miss Decelis had a feast of the four of them once it was found out. But realistically, it wasn’t their fault that the girl couldn’t keep up with all of them.
Maybe you could.
You snapped your fingers in Jay’s face with your eyes narrowed at the boy in disapproval. “Could you not undress me with your eyes in public? It’s inappropriate as hell, and if you haven’t forgotten, it’s Jake’s birthday.”
“Why don’t you go to him and suck him off if you care so much?” Jay retorted, internally cringing at himself. Why would he even suggest that? You might actually do it, and he was not—
“You’re right, I should,” you hummed. Licking your lips, your eyes easily found Jake in the crowd with his parents, speaking to an elderly pair that kept touching Jake’s hair and cheeks and shoulders with large smiles while he looked mildly uncomfortable. “He looks like he needs saving. And a break.”
“Y/N, I wasn’t serious.” Jay ran a hand through his hair, and you tilted your head to the side.
“Does it matter? Jokes aside, today is Jake’s birthday, and he deserves to enjoy at least a tiny bit of this bullshit event before we all get lost,” you said, nodding to yourself as confirmation of your own logic. And Jay couldn’t claim you were wrong because he knew better than anyone how much Jake hated this annual event.
“You’re right, but, Y/N—”
“Can you look after my phone?” You handed the device that had been practically stuck in your hand since you arrived over to Jay. “I’ll find you later. Pretty sure I could find you anywhere just by the smell. It’s actually really good,” you said with a smile, and Jay wanted to be proud of picking the right cologne, but once he accepted your phone, you were already halfway through the room to approach Jake.
Jake was one hell of a lucky bastard.
Jay sighed, ready to put your phone away in his pocket when it lit up with a new notification. Which would be nothing special had he not seen the user above the Twitter notification. A new message from a random user meant for the eyes of everyone once it got relayed.
It was a DM for Miss Decelis.
“You’ve got to be fucking joking.”
“Was that my birthday gift?” Jake stared at you through dazed eyes, his voice breathless. He sat at the edge of his bed while you got up from your spot on the floor to nestle on his lap, his cock still hard and covered in saliva.
“That would be a terrible birthday gift,” you replied, moaning when you felt Jake’s hardness against your clothed cunt. Jake adjusted his hips, forcing another whimper out of you, and you cupped his cheeks to make him look in your eyes. “Stop moving, Jake, or we’ll never leave this bedroom,” you breathed out, and he just lazily grinned at you in response.
“Maybe I don’t want to leave,” he replied, wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing you closer. “Oh fuck, I want to feel you now,” he groaned, restraining himself from doing anything else for you.
“It’s not— oh— the time yet,” you whispered, barely thinking coherent thoughts with Jake’s dick between your legs, though not the way the two of you wanted it to be. “Later, you can get anything you want, Jakey.”
“Anything?” he repeated, biting his lip. One of his hands slipped underneath your dress, his digits sneaking their way inside your panties.  
“Mhmm,” you hummed, pleasure striking your whole body as Jake’s fingers began circling your clit. Your lips attached to Jake’s while he worked his magic on you, but he pulled away, biting at your lower lip.
“I want words, baby. A weak hum is not a yes,” he said, his movements becoming harsher and faster.
“Fuck, Jake, yes,” you cried out, your orgasm coming quickly. It was weak, but there wasn’t much to expect from just his fingers atop your clit. But you didn’t want to give yourself to him just yet. It wasn’t time, as you said. Not this early in the evening. He still had guests to please and parents to appease.
“I want to take this dress off you so bad,” Jake mumbled against your shoulder, his lips trailing to your clavicle. 
“Later.” You smiled when his mouth made it back to yours, hands tangled in his blonde locks at the back of his head. 
“I hate that word,” Jake whispered. “But thank you anyway,” he added, finally coming to peace with the fact that this moment had to end because you were right, and his parents were waiting for him.
You smiled, getting off his lap to stand. Adjusting your dress back to its place, you gazed at Jake and his still hard cock. “I’ll leave first. Give you time to recover,” you teased, pointing at his crotch. “Always remember you’re pretty, and that everyone is here to talk your ego all the way up to heaven.”
Bending down, you connected your lips with Jake’s one last time before heading toward the door. “Maybe later we can ditch your afterparty and just go to my house. While my parents are stuck here with yours.”
Jake chuckled, capturing his bottom lip between his teeth as he tended to do out of habit rather than to purposely flirt. “I don’t think the others will let us do that,” he said and shook his head. 
You groaned, your hand on the handle. “Well, we’ll see about that.” With a grin you disappeared out of Jake’s view, leaving him alone in his bedroom while you barely made a step into the corridor when someone grabbed you roughly by the wrist.
“We need to talk.” Jay’s tone was curt as he dragged you by the arm into the nearest guest bedroom.
He locked the door behind the both of you, clutching your phone in hand as he loomed over your figure with a scathing glare. It occurred to you that you completely forgot to turn your notifications off.
You were used to being alone at these events, always stuck to your phone, so you didn’t need to turn them off unless you were at school and around friends. But you gave your phone to Jay without a second thought. Without thinking about what he could see.
“It’s you,” he spat, holding the phone up to your face. 
He lit it up with a touch, opening the string of new notifications, each filled with texts and photos from anonymous sources, feeding you with hourly gossip about Decelis Academy students.
But before the mortification set in, you wondered why it was Jay who was mad at you. Because the whole reason behind you becoming Miss Decelis was because of how he and Heeseung treated you. It was your tiny payback, merely making sure nobody could suspect you for focusing on just a specific group of people. 
“Why?” Jay asked, stepping closer to you, invading your personal space. You tried to back away, but the moment your body hit the cool wooden door, there was nowhere to run.
And Jay was right in your face. 
“Yeah, why?” you questioned back, narrowing your eyes at him. “Why would I start an anonymous gossip blog in freshman year when I was sure everyone hated me?” 
Instead, you leaned in, pushing the phone out of your face. Perhaps you should’ve cared more about Jay dropping it on the ground, but if he was angry, then you were furious. Clenching your jaw, you met Jay’s gaze with fire blazing behind your eyes. 
“Why would I make something that tried to humble you and the rest of the guys when all I’ve ever gotten from you was your dismissal? And ‘cause of what? Because I wasn’t pretty enough for your standards? Because I was annoying? Because I liked you and you were disgusted by it?”
The last sentence wasn’t supposed to ever be spoken out loud, but when you were fifteen, it was one of your biggest insecurities. You liked Jay, and he wanted nothing to do with you, no matter how hard you tried to be his friend. And with the girls who set out to make your life a living hell, of course you thought that the reason behind Jay’s dislike for you was your looks and your awkwardness and the fact he was disgusted by you.
Miss Decelis wasn’t just a way to shoot some of the popular people down a peg. It was also created as your way of venting all of your biggest insecurities by speaking them aloud as Miss Decelis. In a strange way, it was your way of coping with your life. 
 Jay’s eyes widened, looking like you struck him in the face.
When he spoke next, it was like you never said anything. Like he didn’t just discover your secret second identity. All he could hear was your angry confession about liking him. 
“Why?” he asked again, but this time, it wasn’t about Miss Decelis. “Why did you like me?”
“That’s not the point,” you sighed and moved away. You wanted to escape, but Jay’s arms shot up, trapping you by the door on each side. “Jay—”
“Why, Y/N?” he asked again. In eighteen years, he had received many confessions of fancy. But it was always through cutesy letters in his locker or notes passed in class, unless they were brave enough to approach him and try to flirt with him. But those girls never had a proper reason to like him. 
“Because I’m not blind!” you exclaimed in exasperation, trying to push against Jay’s chest. He caught your arms by the wrists to keep you in place. Locking his eyes on you, he refused to let go until he had his answer. 
“You hated me,” you said defeatedly, hands going limp as you acknowledged that you were not strong enough to fight Jay. “But I saw the way you cared for other people. And sometimes me, whenever our parents were around. You would always look out for Heeseung and Jake when they messed around the pool when we were kids. And then you started helping the parents with barbecues and you always made sure that Heeseung and Jake got the biggest portions because they love samgyeopsal. You even cooked ramyun for them whenever our parents refused to make more because they already had five whole packs together.” You paused, remembering your childhood, when life was a little bit easier. “And I really liked listening to you playing guitar. It always fascinated me how good you were. And the adoration you had for the instrument. That’s why—”
“You gave me the pick,” Jay finished for you, and you nodded.
“That’s why I gave you the pick.”
“I always thought you were too perfect to be true,” Jay chuckled, shaking his head. “But you’re probably the stupidest person I’ve ever met.”
You narrowed your eyes at him in a silent question. 
“Because you liked me despite the way I treated you. No sane person would do that.” 
“When have I given you the impression that I’m sane?” Your brow rose challengingly, but instead of replying, Jay cupped your cheeks, bringing your mouth to his as if he didn’t know that you just gave his best friend a blowjob. 
Jay had gone insane.
He sought you out after finding out you were Miss Decelis to be angry with you. To confront you. You were the one shit-talking him on the blog for the past few months, and he was supposed to tear you a new one.
What he wasn’t supposed to do was kiss you when he literally found you leaving Jake’s room.
What he wasn’t supposed to do was let you wrap your legs around his hips while he secured your body with his hands on your ass, carrying you over to the bed inside the guest room he locked the two of you in.
He wasn’t supposed to do many things, yet here he was.
Going insane because of you.
“I never hated you,” Jay whispered against your skin as his lips moved from your mouth to your cheek, your jaw, your neck and lower, still. “What I hated was the stupid act you put up,” he said, not hesitating to unzip your dress. 
“It was a dumb act,” you agreed with a hum that turned into a moan when Jay’s mouth found your nipple, working quickly at getting your clothes off. Not that it was hard when all you wore was the golden dress and lace panties. You ran your fingers through Jay’s hair as he continued his assault on your skin, constantly moving lower while he slipped the dress off you alongside your drenched panties. 
You smelled heavenly. Jay didn’t even care that some of it was likely residue of your moment with Jake. You were with him now, and clearly wanted him as much as he did you. 
What could he do with you, but have you in ways he couldn’t dream of before?
Jay gripped your thighs, pulling them apart as he took a proper look at your beautiful pussy. He licked his lips, and when your head rose to glance at him, your eyes were drunk with lust. “You want me to taste you?” he asked. 
“Yes,” you replied instantaneously, nodding your head like a madwoman. “Please, Jay,” you whispered, your hands reaching for him. 
Jay smirked, positioning you at the edge of the bed so he could have the best access possible from his spot by the bed, his hooded eyes drunk on the sight of you. Naked and defenceless and so perfect, not like when you pretended, but actually perfect — with all your imperfections. 
You were a petty little creature. You created a whole blog just to shit-talk Jay, Heeseung and others because they were making your life more difficult than it needed to be. 
“I don’t know if you deserve it.” He watched you squirm as you looked up at him through your lashes, your lips twisting into an adorable furious pout. 
“After everything you put me through, this is the least I deserve,” you mumbled, glaring at him. But you reminded him of those cute angry kitty memes more than anything else, and he smirked. 
Jay hummed, leaning in to kiss your pretty lips, his tongue swiping across your clit. It elicited a beautiful sound out of your mouth. A moan worthy of his neverending devotion. But he couldn’t give you everything so easily. 
Your gasp reverberated through the room when Jay bit down on your clit, and your hands shot up into his hair to pull at it in an attempt to get him away. But he wasn’t letting go.
“Jay, holy shit.” You bit down on your bottom lip to keep yourself from screaming, letting the twisted pleasure warm your tummy. Brain going hazy, you could barely fight him. 
Not when he kept switching between licking your clit and lapping up all your wetness, and then biting again as if he was a vampire trying to feed. Your pussy sucked Jay’s tongue right in, and your orgasm was inevitable the longer it went on.
“You’re so fucking delicious,” Jay mumbled, staring up at you and your arched back. He had to work to keep your legs apart so you wouldn’t squish his head between your thighs. But at least his regular gym visits with Sunghoon were worth something. 
“Jay, I’m—” you whimpered, unable to finish your sentence when Jay thrusted his tongue as deep inside you as he could, your pussy vibrating with the pleased hum he let out. 
“So good for me,” he said. “You’ll feel amazing on my dick,” he claimed, sporting a huge tent in his trousers, humping air in a feeble attempt to bring some pleasure for himself. But your sounds alone could probably make him cum. 
“Jay!” you exclaimed one last time when ecstasy shot through you, and you tugged at Jay’s hair with enough strength to pull some out. He continued to eat you out as you rode your high off, drinking every bit of your release as if it was a drug, and he was an addict that could not get enough.
Before you even recovered, Jay was already up on his feet, speedily taking his clothes off. His jacket, shirt, tie, trousers. All pieces of clothing disappeared within a blink of your eyes, and then all you could see was Jay’s pulsating cock with precum leaking from the head. 
You brought out an incredibly needy part of Jay out of him, and it made you even hotter, more beautiful to him. Jay lifted you once more to adjust your positions on the bed to fit the both of you while he crawled over you, lust-filled eyes meeting yours.
“Tell me what you want, darling, and I’ll take care of you,” he said, and you closed your eyes to drink the moment in.
“I want you,” was all you said in response. 
Just him. 
That was all you needed. 
Park Jay. The boy you had liked when you were younger. 
So you connected your lips, tasting yourself on Jay’s tongue. He groaned when his cock made contact with your stomach, and your hands roamed his body until you reached his hard cock. Your thumb swiped across the head, drawing a moan out of Jay, and you smirked against his lips, guiding him toward your entrance.
“This is all I want,” you said again, teasing yourself with his cock, his eyes already half closed at the tiniest bolts of pleasure. 
So when Jay finally thrusted inside of you, rougher than he should’ve, you whimpered while his lips captured yours again, letting you adjust to his size. You were so warm and so wet, ready just for him. 
He closed his eyes, testing how comfortable you were as he moved his hips the slightest bit. You moaned, back arching to let him go even deeper, to find the spot that would drive you over the edge. And he complied, pulling out slightly before going in again, deeper. He groaned when your walls clenched around him. 
“So perfect,” he mumbled, letting you cling to him like your whole life depended on it.
“Jay,” you whined, “I need you to move faster.”
He smirked. But your word was his command, complying mindlessly. Jay began moving, picking up his pace gradually until all that could be heard inside the bedroom were the skin-on-skin contact, the squelching sound of your wetness, your moans, and Jay’s pants. 
He was drunk on you, not thinking of anything else but the need to pleasure you. To give you the best sex of your life. To ruin you.
“Jay, I’m s-so close,” you managed between laboured breaths, reaching for his lips with yours. It made him go even faster, chasing his own release. “Jay, Jay, Jay!” you screamed, your whole body convulsing with the orgasm that nearly blinded you.
It was the loveliest sound Jay had ever heard, and he almost forgot to pull out as he stared at your spent figure underneath him. But he did, his hand already working on finishing the job as he pulled away from you.
But you didn’t like that. You lifted yourself up on your elbows and then went to your knees, putting your hand over Jay’s. 
“Let me,” you said, licking your lips.
It was confusion that kept Jay from stopping you as you guided his hand away. And then your lips were making contact with the head of his cock. Only a little peck at first. Then your mouth wrapped around it, and before he could even process anything else, you had his dick as deep inside your throat as possible, using your hand to take care of whatever didn’t fit. 
Jay lasted what felt like five seconds before he cummed inside of your mouth as you stared up at him with an innocent glint in your eye. 
He blamed it on the shock of you giving him a blowjob out of your own volition. And in this case, whatever you and Jake were doing, Jay was grateful for all that Jake must’ve taught you.
You swallowed his load, eyes never leaving his, and the two of you collapsed on the bed together, spent but willing to go a second time. 
“So, you’re Miss Decelis.” Jay laughed at the fact. You were never actually perfect. You just hid the other side of you behind an anonymous profile. 
“Are you going to tell anyone?” you asked, turning to lie on your side and stare at Jay’s side-profile. It always fascinated you. He was gorgeous, and his jawline was unreal. 
“Are you going to keep calling me boring?” he turned to face you, brow raised. 
“Maybe if you hook up with another MILF, I’ll stop,” you joked, but Jay deadpanned, pressing his lips in a thin line. 
“You do realise we just had sex, right?” Jay said matter-of-factly, and you hummed. 
“Is it any different to your other casual hook-ups?” you asked nonchalantly, and Jay hated how constricted his chest felt at your words. 
You were probably right. It shouldn’t be any different. But it was. He wanted this again. He wanted you again. And it dawned on him that he had lost his chance years ago. You said it yourself: you used to like him. 
And when the afterparty with just you, your friends and the guys came around, Jay had to watch you be wrapped all around Jake again.
Because, yeah… it was his birthday.
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tags: @strxwbloody @starsenha @mitmit01 @chaconadine @in-somnias-world @tmtxtf @missychief1404
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jarofstyles · 8 months ago
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Ultramarine- Indigo 7
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Hello! Here is a cute part of Indigo, I'm sorry she's a slow burn but I really love them so I don't wanna rush them <3
Check out Patreon for early access to the next part and 150+ Exclusive writings
Indigo Masterlist
WC- 2.8k
Warnings- mention of trauma and bullying (brief) and sexual tension ;)
----------------
Y/N was grabbing lunch with him. 
Harry’s hand ached, the 5 hour session being particularly grueling regardless of how used his muscles were to the gun. He used arthritic cream on it and his wrist as he took a break in his office, finally checking his phone. As impressed as he was with the woman who had come and sat for 5 hours, he’d wished she wanted a break when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. H was giddy and anxious to see what Y/N was saying- she was the only one who texted him during the day besides Niall with stupid tiktok links and his Mum sending photos of her cats. 
When he’d opened it up to see her question, he didn’t hesitate to agree. It didn’t matter if he hurt, he wanted to take any excuse he could to see her. 
Y/N; Hiiii! I know this is super last minute so do not be afraid to say no but did you want to grab lunch at around 2:30? 
H: Absolutely I do. Sorry for the late reply, I was finishing a tattoo. It isn’t too late to say yes, is it? 
Y/N: Oh, amazing :) And no, not too late. I’m kind of bored today, I finished a project and told myself I needed to relax but… I feel restless and I missed you a little bit.
Harry felt himself flush at her response, knowing if anyone saw him at this moment they wouldn't recognize him. His smile was wide and face as pink as he collected himself, grateful that he was in his own office so he could freely feel. 
H: Only a little bit? X 
Y/N: Well if I said I missed you a lot I’d be a weirdo, wouldn't I? We just saw each other. 
H: Well call me a weirdo too then, I suppose. Because I did. 
H: A lot, if you couldn’t tell. 
Y/N: You are very cute. I’ll be there in a few :) 
—-
“Yeah, it’s kinda fucked.” Harry sighed as Y/N took his hand into her own from across the little table. “Usually I love a long session but I’ve been doing them a few days in a row. S’my own fault, but I was hoping for a tap out for once.” He laughed through his nose before it turned into a groan, feeling small thumbs begin to rub over his palm. Y/N pouted ever so lightly, moving in slow circles on the skin and digging in slightly before meeting his eye. 
“You’ve got to take care of yourself.” The scold was lighthearted but he could see it on her face. She meant it. It made his chest flutter a little that she cared enough to do that. He was used to basically being on his own, mostly by choice but because it was easy for people to fake concern to get gossip- but he knew Y/N meant it. Her gentle massage on his hand, trying to ease his aching was a nice touch. Her half-drunk smoothie was in front of her, leaving her fingers cool to the touch and another nice addition to the soothing touch. “Shouldn’t wait for them to tap out. You should schedule them in smaller increments so you don’t put too much strain on your poor hands.” Y/N’s eyes met him for a moment before looking away. “They’re too pretty to be hurting.”
He had been surprised by the gall, if he was honest. Y/N had been a bit more shy when coming to this sort of thing but he was mentally preening, not able to hide the smile curling on his lips as he flexed his hand in her grasp. “Yeah? Think I’ve got pretty hands?” He hummed. “Got a bunch of calluses. Some scars. My nail polish is chipped.” Was he fishing for a compliment? A little bit. He wanted a few of them, especially when she had seemed to like his best tools. 
“Of course. Just shows you work with your hands, know how to use them.” She stated. “It’s something a lot of people don’t know how to do anymore. The scars add character, and the nail polish is cute. It can always be redone.” She flipped his hand over but continued the slight massage, looking at his long, nimble fingers stretched over her wrists. He had a few rings on them which she knew he took off while tattooing, his fabric bracelets slightly worn besides the silver cuff on the non tattooed wrist. Harry liked to decorate his body and that was obvious. He’d told her he sometimes struggled with expression verbally, so she had a hunch that he used this to express himself. “And I also love the eyeliner thing. It’s attractive too.” 
She tacked on the compliment and his smile grew into a grin, shaking his head as he squeezed over her hands with a laugh. “Laying on all the compliments today, yeah? D’want something from me?” All she had to do was ask. The shivers in his body made him more than willing to hand shit over on a silver platter. His eyeliner had been a few years ongoing, a simple charcoal pencil smudging around his eyes. Apparently it brought out the green even more and he did have a few colors. Perhaps one day Y/N would want to do it for him. 
“No, no. Just figure people don’t do it as often as they should.” She sighed, dropping one of his hands to take a sip of her smoothie. The contact felt good. Especially since he kept a grip on her hand and swiped his thumb over the back of hers, the gentleness a stark contrast to the chain around his neck, metal on his face and ink on his skin. He was the opposite of what someone would expect, and somehow that made Y/N yearn for even more of him. 
“Well.. Thanks. But I’d prefer you to be the one doing the compliments. I know you’re not full of shit.” His smirk made her scoff but she merely continued sipping before moving on. Surely many people meant the compliments they gave him but she knew that he wouldn’t believe them regardless. That was the thing about growing up with that sort of trauma. When you were bullied growing up, seen as a butt of a joke, it was harder to accept people’s genuine kindness. It saddened her immensely, but this wasn’t the place to unpack that. 
“You’d have to be dead to not see how attractive you are, H. But I don’t want to give you too much of an ego boost or you’ll leave me in the dust.” Her foot nudged him under the table. “I wanted to ask if you wanted to come over this weekend? I was thinking of trying out a few cookie recipes and I need a baking assistant- or at the very least, a taste tester.” She offered, trying to hide her nerves. They were at a weird crossroads of developing relationships. Not official, not exactly fully comfortable enough to be shooting plans the day of but still craving their company quite strongly. They weren’t seeing anyone else, at least she hoped so, but they didn’t have a label. 
“Are you kidding?” He barked out a laugh. “Of fucking course I do. Used to help my nan back in the day in the kitchen. Christmas breads and sweets galore. You’ve got an old pro on your hands.” Was he vastly overvaluing his kitchen skills? A bit. He knew his way around decently enough, but he wanted to get that smile on her face- which succeeded. 
“Oh, lovely.” She chirped. “Then yes, I’d love for you to come over. We’ll get something to eat because m’not sure either of us are going to want to be in the kitchen for more than the cookies.” He watched her nose wrinkle making his heart skip a beat. There were tiny Y/N mannerisms he wanted to get to know. This one in particular he found to be stupidly cute, each time it happened making him smile internally. 
“Mhm. I understand. We’ve got a kitchen quota we don’t want to max out.”
“Where do you think you’re going?” A hand on her waist stopped her from taking another step further, Y/N grinning to herself as she paused in her step. She had done it just to see what Harry would do, and so far she had been correct. Her hopes had been granted. 
“Hm? Home.” She grinned up at him, eyes not able to hide the mischief in them as she moved back towards him. “Is there a problem?”
“I think we need to establish a few things.” His voice dropped, crowding her back against her car. Y/N had started this but felt the air get sucked from her lungs as her back pressed agaisnt the cold metal of her door, eyes widening slightly as she was peering up at him with far less smugness as before. “I don’t like leaving without a proper goodbye, hm? And you know what I’m missing, yeah Darling?” of course she did. She had been aching for it just as badly, the tiny one she got in greeting not even half of the one she needed now, but she wanted to make him work for it a little bit. 
“What’s that?” She hummed, biting her lower lip to try and control the grin threatening to break out on her face. The uncontrollable urge to giggle as he seemed to clock the look on her face, shaking his head at her and clicking his tongue while tilting her head up to meet him. It was the closest she could get to a swoon, sure there were little hearts in her pupils as he tapped the bottom of her lip and tugged it from her teeth. 
Christ. 
“I think you know.” He muttered. “Cruel, cruel little angel. What d’want from me, hm? Do you want me to beg?” His eyes scanned her face. “M’not one to get on my knees for that reason, but I think I could do so for you.” 
Y/N’s knees felt weak as he pinned her with his stare, a quivering in her stomach making her blink rapidly at him. Get on his knees? She could only imagine what he did on his knees and the image of him peering up at her with his mouth tucked between her thighs and her knee over his shoulder, working to get his tongue up inside her made her feel hot all over. The mental image was precisely his goal, she found, as his grin rose back and morphed into a smirk as she barely held back a whimper when her lip was stroked by the thumb in question. She had played with the lion as a sweet little lamb, and found herself right in his jaws. 
“N-No. Don’t have to beg, but I think it would be cute.” She cursed internally at the stutter, showing her weakness front and center as his face got a bit closer to hers, nose brushing the bridge of hers before moving down to the tip. Being this close made her dizzy, the sweet spice of his cologne and the mint of his gum overwhelming her. The man trapped her against her car, getting closer than she had been to a man in public, but she was pathetic. Internally she was gagging for it, tilting her head up to try and catch his mouth-
Only for him to pull back just enough to miss. A spark in his eye made her want to stomp her foot, the man teasing her more than she had anticipated. Y/N had tried to get the upper hand but it was obvious that the more comfortable he got, the more power he would wield with her. She had been a bit of a fool for thinking that a man like him wouldn’t turn this over, but she had felt like trying her luck. 
“Cute? Think it would be cute?” He muttered under his breath. “Well, I’m glad you think so. But I know what this is, little angel. Prettiest little Sunflower, trying to tease me.” Realistically, Harry knew she hadn’t a clue about the true power she had over him, but he would let that remain a secret for a bit longer. “What I meant, by a proper goodbye… Is that I’d like to feel these pretty lips before you leave me.” There was an audible hitch in her throat, making him hold back the smile, ghosting his lips against hers. “You did something to me… m’convinced. Put a spell in your lipgloss or somethin’ like that. Made me crave it. I’m more of a gentleman these days, because the first thing I wanted to do was lick into this pretty little mouth when I saw you today. I controlled it, but I can tell it’ll be a problem later on down the line. I need something sweet to hold me over, y’feel me, doll?” He tapped her lip with his thumb, gently tugging it down before it snapped back up. 
Y/N could barely breathe. Sometimes, she found, Harry had these bursts of being pure sex appeal. It was broken up by cute, soft and shy boy, but when he got in this sort of mood she found it hard to keep her vision from swimming. A floaty feeling, making her swallow thickly and nod in a jerking motion as she tried to get up on her tiptoes to catch his lips only to be deprived again. This time she did make a noise of frustration, brows furrowing as she looked at his hooded eyes. It wasn’t fair! 
“Oh, m’sorry Sunflower. Couldn’t let you have it that easy when you were about t’leave me without a kiss. Got a mean streak in you, but I’ll take it. You’re sweet and tart, like a Cherry.” He laughed, leading her arm to loop over his neck. “If you’re good to me, I’ll be good to you. Give you what you want, maybe even more.” She was rewarded, finally, with a tiny kiss to her pout before pulling back.  “But if you want to play games… You’ve gotta remember that m’a nasty competitor.”
Y/N could believe it. Harry oozed ‘win or nothing’ energy and she had tested it now, feeling how quickly she was going to fold. That didn’t mean she wasn’t going to test this out when she had more resolve, but she had felt similarly to him the whole time. She wanted him just as badly, and playing with fire wasn’t cutting it right now. The only burn she wanted from him was a big of beard burn between her thighs. “M’sorry.” She whispered. “I’ll be sweet.” 
“I heard a silent ‘for now’ after that, but that’s good enough for me.” He rewarded her heavily. Kissing her fully, capturing her lips between his own and pulling her into him as he did so. Harry kissed just how he looked. Intense, hot. She let out a little noise feeling his tongue brush past and the cool metal of his tongue piercing hit hers. It was another reminder of how he would definitely be one to blow her mind when he got on his knees for her, because Harry didn’t seem like the type to do anything half assed. He had the ability to make her feel like she was boiling inside and the only thing that could cool her down was his touch. 
It was over too quickly, her thighs clenching together hard as she looked at him with bleary eyes. His face was self assured, a little smug and she was trying to recover. A squeeze was given to her chin, making her clear her vision as she was left a little unsatisfied. But would she ever really be truly satisfied when he took away his mouth? She could kiss him for hours and still feel like she wanted more. Their date was proof of that. 
“See? I can be sweet when you are. Rewards.” His confidence blew her away, barely able to recover when he pressed another firm kiss to her mouth without giving her time to react. “Now go on and go get some supplies for our cookies, yeah? Text me when you’re there and when you’re home safe. I’ve got another two appointments.” He wished he could cancel them and just go with her but he didn’t want the rep, and also didn’t want to cling to her. As tempting as it may be, he wanted to start this right. 
Y/N’s kiss still tingled on his lips as she drove away. He knew he was deep in the inky indigo waters of infatuation, but he didn’t think that was a bad thing. He’d learn to breathe underwater.
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crumbledcastle28 · 1 year ago
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Javier Pena: Blowing Off Steam
Pairing: Javier Peña x fem!reader (she/her; afab)
Summary: During one of the most important meetings of his career, Javier is relentlessly distracted by the drive over.
Excerpt: "That's the spot, isn't it hermosa?" he said into your ear. The smell of your sweat mixed with your perfume as well as the small groans you were releasing only spurred him on more. "Think you're in control, thought you had me."
Your eyes fluttered closed and your jaw began to tremble, digging your nails into his bulging biceps seemed to be the only thing giving you any sort of relief.
Neither of you heard the partition clicking shut.
He smiled at your state, kissing the crown of your head. "You do have me, cielo. But tonight I have you."
Warnings: making out, heavy touching, smutty smut smut, dirty talk, my attempt at Spanish, unestablished relationship, swearing, italicized=flashback/past, I am positive this doesn't actually work with canon, Javier is a simp.
Word Count: 1.8k
A/N: I don't really know what to say besides I missed this with every part of me. Please enjoy this brain rot that has gotten me through the last three months.
If you would like to leave a like, comment, ask, or reblog, it would be much appreciated <3
Pedro Masterlist
General Masterlist
(gif from pinterest you cannot convince me that isn't a hickey on his neck bfibrifbiri)
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Javier's taste buds were coated with a delightfully devilish mix of Cheval Blanc and red lipstick as he sucked in your heated breaths.
Your thighs fit so fucking perfectly in his hands as he gave them a squeeze. Your bare, sweaty skin squeaked against the leathered seats in response.
"Javi," you whined, and he shushed you gently. The streetlights passing by illuminated your smooth skin like music, and he was tempted to pull away only to stare at you.
Another whimper from your swollen mouth persuaded him against it.
He moved his teeth down your throat, pulling you impossibly closer to him. He could feel the heat of your core against him as you began to grind into him slightly, god did it make his lower stomach pulse.
He switched to the left side of your neck, pushing you against the car door ever so slightly as he cut his vision to the driver. The man's bald head had remained facing forward, his skin a deep tan. He figured limo drivers had to deal with this sort of bullshit all the time. A part of him enjoyed the fact that another man was learning just how liquid you were for him.
A bigger part of him fucking hated it.
It was this millisecond of inner turmoil that gave you the upper hand - pulling his mouth from your throat and bringing it to your own, sucking his bottom lip into your mouth, sliding your hand down his pants, tracing his happy trail as your fingers cupped him so fucking flawlessly -
"Agent?"
Javier sucked in a breath. His palms had practically soaked through the menu in his hands.
"Ye-yes?" he said, clearing his throat.
The Colonel scoffed. "Your head is not where your heart is, Peña."
"Fuck off," he whispered back, and stuck his nose back into the menu.
Carillo had called a meeting about a possible promotion for Javi, suggesting he was "too acquainted" with the night life of Colombia to be sitting at a desk all day. He felt Javi was needed on the ground, working within the system than around it. A true DEA agent, rather than a glorified secretary.
Hence whatever the fuck this dinner was.
Javi was surrounded by his superiors, men and women he had never seen nor met before, as well as what had to be hundreds of dollars in booze. The menu before him had words he had never even heard of before, as well as prices that seemed to stretch off the page if he unfocused his eyes.
He was the furthest out of his comfort zone that he could have ever imagined, while consecutively borderline emotional at the favor Carillo was doing for him. He was dealing with more emotions than he had allowed himself to in years.
You had looked too pretty that night not to blow off some steam.
-he could have come right then and there. He felt your smile against his lips as he jumped at the feeling, before practically melting into your hands. He could barely kiss you through his panting.
"Sensitive," you whispered as you dragged your teeth down his jawline, paying particular attention to the crease between his bone and his neck. The two of you had done this enough for you to know all his weak spots.
He gripped the fabric of your dress as you did before sliding his hands underneath it, resting his hands on your ribcage. You sighed at the feeling.
"I'm sensitive?" he whispered, moving his hands all the way up to cup your breasts. You tucked your face more into his neck as he did, but continued to trace his head and dick. This flipped the switch on him once again, chills etching themselves down his spine, and a renewed heat boiling his organs -
Javier came back to a woman whose name he had long forgotten asking him a question he absolutely did not hear.
But, he flashed his charming smile anyway.
"Yes ma'am," he said, and despite the woman's efforts, a faint blush crawled up her neck.
"And what makes you say that?" she said in reply.
He could feel Carillo's smile.
"Just a gut feeling," Javier said, and to his surprise, she smiled.
-that finally caused something in him to ignite. He felt out of body, watching himself as if from he was a fly on the ceiling remove his dominant hand from your breast and bring it between your legs. He only took a few seconds to enjoy the wetness that had culminated there before he teased your opening.
Your jaw fell open, giving him ample opportunity to stick his tongue down your throat as he finally fingered you up to the knuckle.
Your body convulsed against him, any and all air escaping your lungs the very second he began to pump in and out of you. It was messy, it was desperate, but god was it everything -
"And how exactly was that handled, Agent...." the man paused, before snapping his fingers in recognition. "Peña. Agent Peña."
Javier swallowed. "Well, we could never have pulled it off without the Colonel, as well as our other agents."
Javier had never spoken so out of his ass in his life.
"I was just a puzzle piece," he said before taking another sip of his bourbon.
The man appeared partially pleased, but unconvinced.
"And how exactly do you plan on being less of a puzzle piece going forward, Mr. Peña?" The man said this as he leaned forward in his chair, folding his hands onto the table.
Every eye at this goddamn table was on him, and for some reason, it made him think of you once again. The way you would whisper in his ear. Your unwillingness to appear afraid. You had told him once you couldn't afford to look afraid in a city like Bogotà.
"It's better to look stupid than afraid. It would eat me fucking alive," you had said.
He decided to take a page out of your book for once.
"I plan on being the person placing the pieces, sir," Javier said. "I can only do that by being more active in the streets. Fieldwork, groundwork, whatever you want to call it."
Javier leaned forward, mimicking the man's position almost exactly.
"How else can I see the full picture?" he asked.
The man's skin was as red as his wine, while his colleagues were as shined as gold.
-and more, prompting Javier to do what he seemed incapable to avoid doing whenever he was with you: lose complete control of his mouth.
"That's the spot, isn't it hermosa?" he said into your ear. The smell of your sweat mixed with your perfume as well as the small groans you were releasing only spurred him on more. "Think you're in control, thought you had me."
Your eyes fluttered closed and your jaw began to tremble, digging your nails into his bulging biceps seemed to be the only thing giving you any sort of relief.
Neither of you heard the partition clicking shut.
He smiled at your state, kissing the crown of your head. "You do have me, cielo. But tonight I have you."
You rocked up and down onto his fingers, whining into his ear as he used his middle finger to pump, and his thumb to caress your clit. He took the one he had around your neck down to your thigh, tracing the muscles, invigorating what you were already feeling between your thighs. It rose up and up to your breasts, forcing you to cup and play with them.
He smiled again, removing the hand from your thigh to bring it up to one of your breasts. He fondled one, while you fondled the other.
"Didn't know you could get this bothered from just my ha-"
"Shut the fuck up," you said and kissed him so hard your teeth clashed -
"It was a pleasure to meet you, Agent Peña," said the blushing woman from before. "I look forward to working with you in the future."
Javier was no dummy. He could very easily read between the lines of what she was implying. However, due to how much he could not get his mind off of you - despite the fact that he finally got the job he had been dreaming about since he was a little kid - he had a feeling that he would only disappoint.
"Thank you, ma'am," he said, and shook her hand firmly.
He said his goodbyes to his superiors before following Carillo outside the restaurant. The two men sat there, waiting for their individual limos to arrive.
Where the DEA got the money for shit like this, Javier had no idea.
Carillo patted Javier on the back in congratulations, which was more affection that Javier had ever seen the man give to his own wife, and Javier gave him a nod in return.
It was then that Carillo began to chuckle.
"Cual es tu problema?" Javier asked, slightly aggitated.
Carillo shook his head. "You could have at least attempted to hide your way of blowing off steam, Pena," he said, gesturing to his own neck.
Javier must have reddened, because Carillo only laughed harder.
-so hard he was shocked one didn't chip. The two of you stayed that way for some - grinding and kissing and pulling at each other - before the limo finally pulled up to his destination.
You pulled away from him as you felt the limo lurch into park. You looked behind him, eyes widening slightly at the sight of the restaurant Javier would be dining at. You then smiled at him, wiping at his face and his hair, as well as straightening out his lapel.
"You should have warned me," you said to him, "I would have gone easier."
He smiled. "No, you wouldn't."
You smiled back, giving him one last kiss. It was deep, but deep in a way that meant more than goodbye. He couldn't afford to look more into it than that.
"Good luck," you whispered, and he nodded before exiting the vehicle. He saw you wipe at your own face through the window, as well as give the driver your address.
He watched you drive away, his heart shifting from a delightful flutter to an anxious one.
He watched his limo pull up behind Carillo's, sucking in the last of the chilled night air.
"Good luck, Peña," Carillo said as he walked to his car, a slight slur in his voice from all the bourbon. "Go and fucking celebrate."
Javier grinned as he opened his limo's door, exhaling in relief at his prayers of having a different driver being answered. The driver didn't even turn around as he said in a thick Colombian accent, "Where to?"
Javier knew exactly where he was headed.
He was going to fucking celebrate.
Tag list: (if you would like to be added please let me know :)
@lovesbiggerthanpride @paintlavillered @xocalliexo @c4psicle @joelsflannel @thesmutslut @untitledarea @daphne-turner @queerponcho @leahkenobi
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pshcomforts · 9 months ago
Text
➳ line without a hook | psh.
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collegestudent!sunghoon x fem!reader (feat. sanha from astro)
“all my emotions feel like explosions when you are around”
synopsis: you and sunghoon have been friends since high school and though you guys can’t admit it, you two are in love with each other.
warnings/content: written in third pov. college au. friends to lovers. idiots in love. fluff! slight angst? sunghoon gets jealous (i always make him get jealous hehe). happy ending. sickly amount of “loser” & “idiot” used a lot as nicknames. suicide jokes. cursing and not proofread. i think that’s it?
comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)
word count: 6.2k
a/n: fictional characters — dae (jungwon’s boyfriend), min-su (heeseung’s girlfriend), and ji-woo (jake’s girlfriend). another personal oneshot fav.
༘˚⋆𐙚。masterlist⋆.✧˚
current song playing: line without a hook by ricky montgomery
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
0:32 ──|───────────────── 3:36
the early morning made its peaking cracks of sunshine as y/n arose in her bed.
she rubbed her eyes awake, hands reaching for her phone for the time.
[ 7:48 am ] — it read.
the girl groaned out a sigh. ‘whose idea was it to register for a 9am class again?’ she thought before swiping her screen to check her missed notifications. almost immediately, she jumped out of her blanket when finding a text from her friend, sunghoon.
hoonster :) :
y/n, you awake??
Wake up loser, I’m on the way
You better be awake when I come
“aw shit!” she yelled, pushing her tired body.
in a rush, y/n exhibited loud thuds of footsteps as she ran back and forth from the bathroom to get ready.
“don’t be here yet, don’t be here yet!” she uttered under her breath.
her hands shakily found some casual clothes once she was done with the bathroom area.
just then, her phone furiously buzzed.
“hello??” she spoke.
“hey loser, you ready yet?” she heard sunghoon ask on the other side.
immediately, her heart thumped. she felt the butterflies of a high school type of crush hit her stomach. she swallowed down her feelings for her friend as she murmured, “you’re already here?”
hoon gave a quiet chuckle that exerted more butterflies to flood her abdomen. “yes dummy, i’m waiting at the front of your house. hurry up, we’re gonna be late!”
y/n groaned out a sigh after coming into the realization that her crush was still her asshole friend after all. “okay, okay! i’m coming out now!” she yelled, digging her feet into her favorite shoes before running out.
a few seconds later and sunghoon found the girl he’s liked since high school burst out of her house. a half smile tugged at his lips as he watched her quietly fume out a few words that he figured was most likely about being late.
his eyes formed into half moon crescents in a glistening look, heart and mind directly falling in the thought of being in her presence.
his car doors clicked and in came y/n.
she huffed out a few breaths of air before buckling her seat in. “now why the hell did i choose a 9am class??” her hand reached to her chest, feeling her heart beat like crazy.
sunghoon chuckled. he was in complete love and there was no doubt about that. “because you wanted a class with me, loser.” he joked, hands reaching down to his cup holder.
the girl shot him a glare — “excuse me? you were the one who said ‘let’s do chemistry 2A together,’ and now we’re both struggling!”
he cackled out another laugh as he merged the car into the next lane. “yeah yeah, you know you wanted that class with me.”
y/n huffed out a sigh in annoyance. “hoon, i swear-“
“got you some coffee, i know you’ll probably need it.” he said, quickly cutting her morning anger off.
there it was again. that nervous sensation bubbling inside of her. “you did??” her head tilted down to find her attractive friend hand her the cup of coffee.
this is what friends did right? pick them up? get them coffee? have a class together? surely, sunghoon thought of her just as a friend?
no. the two were idiots in love, but they liked it. the mixed signals. the chemistry. the tension. they loved the game of push and pull, and it became obvious to everyone but them.
“don’t act so surprised,” the handsome male intruded her thoughts. “i’m nice to you.”
y/n automatically scoffed at his words. “nice?? you are anything but nice, park sunghoon.”
the car screeched to a stop with a red light in front of them, causing him to glance back at her. “so if i’m not nice to you, what’s this then? picking you up, hm?” one of his thick brows raised in question as his inner lips softly curled.
the girl had to look away with how handsome he looked. just a simple stare could set her heart off.
“shut up, hoon. we’re friends, this is what we do.” she playfully rolled her eyes as he widened his smile.
“yeah.. friends.” he murmured. his heart lightly sank at the friend zone but he couldn’t dare to do anything else other than stare back at the road. “take the coffee, will you? i need to drive, unless you want us to crash.”
y/n gasped at his suicidal joke but quickly turnt it into a mount of giggles. “do it, sunghoon! crash us! i don’t want to go to chemistry.”
sunghoon immersed into laughter as well, shaking his head at how his favorite girl just joked about death. “sorry, looks like we have to make it through another day of torture.”
she sighed. “fine but if the professor asks why we’re late, i’m blaming you.”
“right back at you,” he snorted with a head shake, causing the girl to nudge his arms.
y/n rolled her eyes before turning her attention to her phone.
jake’s girl 🫂:
are you guys almost here??
sunoo’s been wondering
y/n <33:
almost!
well tell sunoo to hold on bc we still have to find parking!
jake’s girl 🫂:
girl your class starts in like 20 minutes!
jungwon’s bae 🩶:
Just get your butt over here!
hee’s fav 🤍:
hee and i are about to leave before you guys show
y/n <33:
LMFAOO we’ll be there soon!
“hurry up, hoon! they’re waiting!”
sunghoon made a ‘tsk’ noise with his tongue as he said, “i can’t go pass the speed limit here y/n. what do you want me to do?”
she groaned out a sigh before crossing her arms. “geez hoon, you’re driving like a grandma.”
“i’m sorry, speedy, i don’t want to get a ticket this early in the morning.”
the girl smiled as she watched him pull up to a parking spot. “finallyy! you parked far but..,”
“just shut up and walk, loser.” he responded, ruffling her hair before walking out of the car.
she clicked her tongue as she obeyed, slinging her heavy bag around her shoulders. as she did so, she felt the weight suddenly relieve off of her.
y/n turned her direction to where her friend was, and found him carrying her bag.
“hoon what-“
“i can see you practically struggling and well.. you’re weak so i’ll carry it for you.”
she rolled her eyes before letting him in proceed. “that’s sweet but that’s still asshole-like.”
hoon chuckled at her words as he held her bag around his shoulders. “come on, we’re gonna be late.”
the two rushed to their friend group, legs speeding through campus to find them huddled in a corner.
“finally! you guys took so long,” min-su groaned.
y/n laughed before sending a smack to her arms. “shut up, we’re here now!” she yelled back as she gave a soft nudge.
sunghoon chuckled, laying his arm on his friend’s shoulder in comfort. “she woke up late as usual,” he said, ruffling his own hair. “that’s why you don’t see her with her usual makeup on.”
the girl took offending, gasping in shock before harshly hitting his arm. “i hope that bruises, loser!” she cackled out a laugh as she proudly nodded.
hoon rubbed his arm while displaying a smile on his face. “never, i’m too strong.” he teased with a shit eating grin.
the group shared their laughs before ji-woo intruded — “stop being lovey dovey, your class starts soon!”
y/n groaned, ignoring her teasings about her and sunghoon as she replied, “you just had to remind me..,”
“shut up and go!” her friend yelled back, pushing her arm with a wide smile.
soon, y/n, sunghoon, and sunoo walked to their dreaded chemistry class while the others stayed together.
“why don’t we just ditch??” the girl murmured in a pout.
“you know we can’t y/n,” sunoo scowled.
“you guys suck.”
“just stay for the lecture, our exam is next week anyway,” responded sunghoon.
before she could give another remark, the three entered in the class.
with them being a little late, scattered seats filled the room, causing the three to separate. sunghoon and sunoo sat near each other while y/n sat about two seats away from them.
she huffed out a soft sigh as she plopped down. “let’s just go through this for the day..,” she murmured to herself.
hoon glanced at her from afar, pupils basically forming heart shapes in his eyes that had sunoo scoffing. his attention landed on the male who was only shaking his head.
“what?” sunghoon seethed through a clenched jaw.
“nothing.. loverboy.” sunoo snorted in a laugh afterwards, causing an irritating sigh to come out of hoon’s mouth.
“don’t call me that.”
“it fits you, surprised she hasn’t noticed yet with how much you stare at her.”
the older male quietly fumed in his seat, rolling his eyes as sunoo was spurting out every ticklish bone in his body.
“seriously, hoonie” sunoo teased — “she’s gonna notice at some point.”
“shut up,” sunghoon harshly whispered back, hands almost raising to send a smack like y/n always does.
“see? you’re picking up on her habits too.”
right when hoon was about to speak, the professor intruded in with a clear throat, hinting that class would be starting in seconds.
“deny it all you want, but you like the girl.” the younger boy softly said with a lean towards him. “don’t take too long though, someone else might steal her.”
sunghoon’s head popped up. he instantly looked at his friend with confusion/betrayal plastered across his face.
“not me, dumbdumb.” sunoo tilted his head towards y/n. “look who’s talking to her.”
almost immediately, hoon found his close friend talking to sanha — a guy in their class who was a few years older. he sat next to her, taking the empty seat and made small talk towards her.
“sanha??” he repeated the name with a scoff.
“you don’t have to be so obvious about your jealousy.”
“i’m not jealous,” hoon lied, an oblivious amount of red tinted on his ears.
the taller male began to ignore the remaining words sunoo spewed out, tuning it away so he could distract himself from the hurtful sight.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
when what felt like long hours had finally passed, students scattered out of the class.
y/n stayed behind as usual, taking her time to gather her things when sanha approached her.
“hey, you said your name was y/n right?” he asked with glistening eyes.
“yeah, yours was.. sanha?”
her response that turned into a question caused a chuckle to erupt out of the tall boy.
“sorry, i have bad memory.” y/n quickly defended, allowing him to holler out a few more laughs.
“you’re okay, don’t worry. i was just wondering if we could exchange numbers? just if you want to have a study session together or something.”
the girl stood still in her stance. she’s never really been approached this way before. even if he was just being friendly, it’s definitely been a bigger step to how guys were upfront with her.
“oh.. yeah, sure!” y/n reached down for her phone and gave him the desired phone number.
it was then that sunghoon and sunoo walked in on the scene. “you ready?” the shorter male asked with lips pressing into a line.
“yeah, let me just finish this up.”
hoon took a quick glance down to her hands; watching how they softly grazed against some strangers burned his heart. he felt his blood boiling at how she was so politely nice to sanha.
“we don’t have all day,” he grumbled, causing a confused and annoyed glare to be shot at him from y/n.
she quickly turned back to sanha with an apologetic smile. “sorry, they’re in a rush more than usual. i’m always the one who has to rush them,” she cheekily said.
the older boy reflected the smile back as he warmly replied, “don’t worry, y/n, i can wait all day for you.”
sunghoon’s ears perked up at his words. ‘what is he trying to do? flirt with her?’ he thought to himself with a clear scoff in his throat.
the puff of air that left his mouth caused the three heads to turn to him. sunoo cackled out a laugh, hands on his mouth to shut himself up with amusement. he hit hoon’s chest while murmuring, “sorry he’s really cranky, he didn’t wake up on the right side of the bed today.”
y/n’s head cocked to the side. ‘but he seemed perfectly fine today,’ she thought. what an idiot.
“um, okay… well just text me when you want a study session.” she said to sanha, who began to furiously blush, pissing sunghoon off even more.
“hurry up, you’re taking a long time.” the boy who was jealous uttered in an eye roll.
she sent a glare towards him before turning her head back to sanha in a smile. “see you soon, sanha.”
he beamed an ear-to-ear grin to her before nodding and taking off from the scene.
“couldn’t have been more obvious that he liked you?” hoon unintentionally blurted in an eye roll.
“are you okay or what? why are you suddenly so bitter?” y/n shot to him with a side eye.
“yeah hoon, what’s wrong? cant handle seeing your friend get hit on?” sunoo intervened, raising his brows ever so slightly to display how much of an asshole he was being. he slung an arm around the girl, bringing her closer in his embrace as they walked out.
sunghoon let out a ‘pft’ before walking side by side with them. “why wouldn’t i be able to handle it? i’m shocked that some guy was even willing to ask for her number.” he said, causing a harsh push to be made from y/n.
“uh do i act like this when some girl asks you out?? no, i help you by giving advice..,” she rolled her eyes, ignoring the burning sensation in her heart before scooting her body closer to sunoo’s — allowing him to just chuckle alongside their bicker.
hoon huffed out a sigh. “can’t give you advice on this one then. sorry, loser.” he murmured. his attempt to play it cool was stupid, but the girl still bought into it with how annoying he was being.
“i didn’t ask for your advice, did i?” y/n snickered, causing another holler to be heard from sunoo.
sunghoon rolled his eyes and poked his tongue through his cheek. he hated how close she was suddenly becoming with their friend. usually, she’d be in his arms, his presence, and his care.
but all he could do for now was make snarky comments about some guy that asked for her number.
“so what? you’re gonna go out with this guy now? he’s gonna come to our hangouts now?” the annoyed boy half-heartedly joked, trying to let it come off as something playful with an awkward laugh.
his words only made sunoo and y/n look at each other. and with that, it only filled every inch of his body with more jealousy. he was a protective boy, what can he say?
he wanted to pull the girl he liked back into his arms but as much as he wanted to do so, they were still only friends — friends who joked and pushed each other around, not hugged.
so he scoffed once he realized it got quiet after what he said.
“what? our group is already big enough.”
“don’t tell me.. you’re jealous?” y/n replied, brows knitting together in shock.
sunghoon’s face began to blush in red, heart racing at how she suddenly figured him out. “what?? no. you’re stupid for thinking that.” smooth, sunghoon, real smooth.
she scoffed out a laugh as sunoo remained giggling. “you can admit it, i know you’re jealous.” she said with a tinting red starting to hit her cheeks as well.
her heart dropped at the thought that her longtime friend could be just ever so slightly jealous with who she was talking to. with their passing years of friendship, he never really took interest in her love life — or at least that’s what she thought.
the girl would tell him and he’d do his best in hyping her up, but she always secretly wished that he was the one she was excited about (and he did too).
but yet again, they were idiots in love.
“so are you gonna admit it?” she poked.
sunghoon rolled his eyes, jaw clenching with how well his favorite girl was provoking him. “what is there to admit?” he seethed.
sunoo laughed at his reaction. “geez, hyung, you don’t need to get too mad here.”
a scoff came out of the older male. “sunoo, stay out of this.” he murmured with a turned head.
y/n immediately took notice of hoon’s uncomfortable state and felt the need to stop. her light manner of stupid, silly jokes halted as she uttered — “okay let’s move on from this. should we meet with the others?”
“aren’t they in different classes right now?” sunoo asked, also attempting to move on from what just happened.
“well ji-woo’s in psych right now, i think min-su and dae are free, heeseung’s with them, jake’s in philosophy & ethnics, and jungwon’s in microbiology. and jay and niki are in.. forensics i think?”
sunoo and sunghoon looked at her in bewilderment.
“what?”
“do you just know everyone’s schedule or what?” hoon asked, mouth gaping open in shock.
y/n sent a quick smack to his arms. there’s the girl he knew. “i have their schedule in my notes, don’t judge me! i just want to know our available times..,”
her crush grinned, eyes twinkling in delight of how thoughtful she was. “looking at everyone else’s schedule.. you’re such a loser.” he teased, smiling wide at her defended gasp.
she continued to bully him with a mount of insults and hits. sunoo watched it happen, shaking his head at how he suddenly began third wheeling.
“okay, okay, enough! dae and them are near us, let’s go meet them.” he intervened, swatting a hand between the two.
sunghoon’s heart filled with joy as he ruffled her hair. he heard her give a soft grumble, smacking his hand away that only caused him to laugh even more.
the three continued like this until they eventually reached the others.
“you guys got here a little late..,” dae murmured, side eyeing them.
“sorry, we got held back because some guy wanted her number.” sunghoon responded, feeling a hint of jealousy seep through.
min-su and dae immediately bopped their heads up. “oh??” they asked in unison, earning a chuckle from their friend.
“it’s nothing, this cute guy was just sitting next to me the entire lecture and asked for my number at the end.” y/n replied with a shrug to her shoulders.
“girl, nothing???” dae guffawed.
“cute? mm, i’ll have to see about that,” min-su added in.
with that, her boyfriend, heeseung shot his head up. “you want to see another cute guy when your boyfriend’s right here?” he pouted, causing his girl to melt right at the spot.
“no, baby, i just have to make sure he’s good for her!” she quickly defended.
the group giggled at the couples quarrel before sunoo intruded — “his name’s sanha though.”
sunghoon subtly rolled his eyes but it didn’t go unnoticed by heeseung. the older male looked at him in the eyes that spoke — ‘this must be bothering you huh?’ but hoon chose to ignore and act like he didn’t see it.
“hmm.. sanha.. do you have a picture?” dae questioned.
“she just met the guy, why would she have a picture??” the undeniably jealous guy spoke with anger in his throat.
y/n pushed her brows together before agreeing. “yeah i just met him so i don’t have a picture but..,”
“i guess we can’t see if he’s good for you, y/n..,” dae said. “i do know who’d be good for you though.”
the girl tilted her head to the side. “uh.. who?”
her friend wore a cheeky smile, brows slightly raising as he shifted his gaze to sunghoon, who immediately caught on and began to panic.
“yeah, who is this guy..?” hoon blurted, scratching the back of his nape.
“well he’s been jungwon’s friend for a while now and i’d like it if he had the courage to ask you out, but he’s been too fucking shy.”
y/n looked as if she was confused but she wasn’t stupid. she knew dae was talking about sunghoon, she just wanted him to actually admit it.
“who’s the guy? do i know him?” her coy tone was obvious to min-su and dae, and possibly sunoo but not her crush. no, he stayed oblivious but mainly because he was scared.
as dae was about to speak, sunghoon stopped him — “hey is that jungwon?? that’s him, right?” he pointed behind the boy’s back; and lo and behold, it really was him.
hoon’s ass just got saved and all he could do was sigh out in relief.
while jungwon’s boyfriend ran to the man in the distance, y/n exchanged a look with min-su that could only emphasize their telepathy.
heeseung noticed their look since he was alarmingly close to his girlfriend, and because of that, he spurted out soft laughs.
once jungwon came into everyone’s view, the topic was changed.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
after about an hour, jake texted that he was waiting for ji-woo and eventually, they came together, and then jay and niki as well.
“so are we gonna go eat?” niki asked.
“yes please, i’m starving!” y/n beamed, causing sunghoon’s heart to thud in his chest.
“where at?” jake’s voice spoke, scooting himself closer to his girlfriend’s embrace while pushing his glasses up.
“just anywhere,” min-su replied as her fingers clung around heeseung’s hands.
“okay let’s go to ‘anywhere,’ i heard that place is good!” yelled dae. the stupid joke earned a shrieking laugh from jungwon, popping his dimples as he kept hollering — “that was funny, babe.”
the group laughed as well, maybe not as much as won, but just enough.
eventually, they agreed on some fried chicken place and set out to leave. before doing so, the question that min-su just had to pop to y/n caught everyone’s attention — “so are you gonna bring your boyfriend?” sunghoon shot his head up, thick brows furrowing at the joke.
“boyfriend?? you got a boyfriend and we haven’t even met him yet?” jay instigated with a brow raise.
y/n nervously laughed once she felt aware of everyone’s stares. “that’s what we’re calling him now?”
“what the hell did i miss??” ji-woo asked, turning her head to min-su and dae.
as the two teasingly smiled, a low voice suddenly spewed, “he’s not her boyfriend.”
the attention that was once on y/n had now shifted to the voice that was evidently sunghoon’s. the girl he liked cocked a head tilt in confusion with how upset he sounded while the others were silently judging him.
jungwon had the look of — ‘you’re busted,’ and jake had the look of — ‘too obvious bro,’ whereas heeseung spoke with his eyes that said — ‘min-su and i are definitely debriefing about this later.’
the rest of the members also exchanged glances that were somewhere along the lines of jungwon’s and jake’s.
as they all stared at him, sunghoon’s cheeks flushed with a deep color of red. “i was just um.. there to witness it, they’re not together.” he tried to play it off, but ji-woo was obviously not convinced.
“so you just witnessed it? that’s it?” she questioned towards the awkward male who was just nodding.
hating how quick the atmosphere became awkward, y/n broke the ice by saying, “okay okay, that’s enough. i’m hungry, let’s go.”
the tense moment passed and each couple went in their own transportation (as did sunghoon and y/n), allowing jay to drive sunoo and niki.
while hoon drove, y/n controlled the music.
“oh come on, stop putting this song on.” he grumbled.
“what! come on, it’s cute!” she defended, lightly slapping his arm.
the boy sent a scowling look as he replied, “it’s not cute, it’s sad and depressing.”
“hoon, it’s lily of the valley, how can you hate it??”
“it’s not the vibes right now,” he uttered while making a signal turn.
y/n rolled her eyes. she played the song because it was thee song she associated him with. “fine..,” she groaned, fingers typing fast to change the music.
silence filled the air for a second before another slow and steady song played, causing sunghoon to shoot her another look.
“what!”
“this song is still sad, y/n.”
the song that she put on was ‘everything’ by the black skirts — another song she associated him with.
“excuse me, you like sad songs! that’s what we have in common, loser.” the girl fumed while crossing her arms together.
hoon let out a low chuckle that sent goosebumps down her spine. “play something more upbeat, these songs are like something you slow dance to.” exactly.
her heart pounded at his words before grumbling out a low sigh. “fine… but just because you never shut up about this song.”
a click to another song was made and ‘mad’ by neyo began to boom in the car.
sunghoon instantly wore a huge smile. “that’s more like it!” he beamed, glancing over at her to shine that deathly grin.
y/n felt a butterfly tingle in her stomach but ignored it with her random karaoke session with him.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
soon, the group found themselves gathered around a table with large mounts of fried chicken and fried goods in the center.
“let’s eat!” yelled one of the boys.
everyone began digging in and enjoying the food in front of them.
the couples sat across from each other, being love sick in watching their partner eat and be full on their tummies.
meanwhile, the single friends were in absolute disgust. every face morphed into horror as niki uttered — “we’re trying to eat here, stop that.”
ji-woo rolled her eyes at him as she squished her favorite boy’s cheeks, causing his glasses to slightly fall to the tip of his nose. jake gave a cheeky grin afterward as he muzzled his head further into her hands.
y/n nudged her. “ew ji-woo, don’t do that.”
“we’re cute, shut up.”
the single girl turned her attention to sunghoon who was also mirroring her facial expression. she cracked a laugh as soon as she saw him side eyeing his close friend.
“alright, just because you guys aren’t together, doesn’t mean that you guys can judge us.” min-su murmured. “but that is disgusting, ji-woo.”
the group erupted into harsh laughs afterwards, allowing a few to choke here and there on their chicken.
the night continued on and everyone soon went back to their light jokes about other things.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
eventually, the gang gathered out of the restaurant and left in their separate ways.
the couples left together of course, and jay took niki and sunoo — giving just sunghoon to take y/n home.
“are you gonna play better music?” he asked while getting in the car.
“um.. sure!” she beamed back.
he let out a soft chuckle before driving off to her address.
once the car ride that was filled with endless talks of past high school memories reached its destination (sorry that was long), sunghoon stopped the car with a soft screech.
“so i’ll see you tomorrow?” the tall male asked with a slight eyebrow raise. he leaned his head closer towards her, causing her heart rate to rapidly increase.
she gulped down her saliva before nodding her head. “yes, i’ll be more ready tomorrow..,” she murmured, voice weakening at the end to highlight her vulnerability.
he chuckled at her empty promise — “yeah you keep telling yourself that, i’ll be here around the same time.” his sparkly eyes trailed down from her lips and back to her eyes.
a nervous gulp was taken as he leaned in just an inch closer, leaving an obvious gap between them. the gap that defined their relationship. the clear boundary that was between friends and lovers.
it only lingered for a second before sunghoon pulled away, not letting any suspicions creep in with his feelings for her.
y/n panicked for a second. she felt the yearn for their lips to connect, but she, too, ignored it with the way he pulled away.
the girl rolled her eyes as she slightly smacked his shoulder. “whatever, bye hoonie!” she tried to break the awkward atmosphere.
his cheeks instantly grew red at the name call. she’s only used it on serious occasions and for her to just randomly call him that throbbed his heart.
“b..bye,” he nervously stuttered, mentally smacking his head afterward.
y/n beamed a smile, waving goodbye as she rushed out to avoid any other tension-filled moment.
soon, hoon drove off once confirming that she entered in safely.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
a week had now passed, and their exam for chemistry was coming up.
y/n walked into the class, shoulders slumping down as she was reminded of their test. a pout formed on her face while taking her seat next to sanha.
the boy beamed a sweet smile towards her, catching sunghoon’s attention and causing him to almost break his pencil in half.
“hey y/n.”
her head whipped up to sanha in an instant. “since our exam is coming up, i was wondering if we could have a study session soon?”
“oh.. yeah, sure! when did you want to do it?”
hoon’s ears were colored red with every word that was processing through, but still, he was eager to hear more about the plans.
“how about today? are you free?”
“yeah, i should be after 4.” y/n responded, displaying a half smile towards the cute boy.
“okay, i’ll text you where to meet me at the library.”
she nodded in agreement before turning to the professor’s attention.
sunghoon scoffed like he always did, loud and clear. “study session my ass,” he mumbled under his breath.
sunoo laughed at his reaction as he softly ridiculed the older male. y/n didn’t catch on though, remaining attentive to the lecture; while hoon silently fumed in his seat even more.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
when the day was almost coming to an end, y/n found herself already done with the study session.
sanha and her walked out while he apologetically said, “sorry that i’m not able to drop you off, i would but i have to rush home.”
she shook her head at his expression of regret. “don’t be! it’s okay, i’ll find a ride home, a family member will come!” she lied.
he walked away from the scene after uttering out another sorry. in return, she waved goodbye as she huffed out a breath of air.
“i’m alone.. and it’s dark… and i’m on an empty campus.. great!” the girl cursed to herself.
she sighed as she reached for her phone. “my last resort..”
y/n <33:
hoon..
um are you awake…
hoonster :) :
??
It’s 6, of course I’m awake
You need something?
y/n <33:
oh… LMAO
um..
hoonster :) :
???
What happened? Are you okay?
y/n <33:
can you..
pick me up….
hoonster :) :
Yeah I’m on my way
You’re still on campus?
y/n <33:
yeah…
hoonster :) :
Okay I’m coming right now
“that easy?” y/n questioned to herself.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
a few minutes passed and sunghoon pulled up with his car.
a sigh of relief left her mouth as she rushed to her passenger princess seat.
“thank goodness,” the girl mumbled with a clench to her chest.
“so this date of yours couldn’t even take your home?” hoon asked, giving an unbelievable scoff afterwards.
y/n rolled her eyes as he turned into a lane. “shut up. and it wasn’t a date, we just studied together,” she replied while looking out the window.
“you’re saying it wasn’t a date but i saw how you tried to make it subtle in touching up your makeup.” he paused for a second. contemplating whether he should say it or not, he impulsively spoke, “you looked pretty.”
her head quickly shot up. “what?”
“nothing,” the male swiftly shot back. “you really went out with him though?”
her heart began to burn at his question. “i mean.. it was just a study session, nothing more.” she nervously picked at her fingers, nails scratching at the barrier of skin.
a loud ‘pft’ left sunghoon’s mouth. “yeah that’s how it starts, idiot.” jealousy seethed through his body as he poked his tongue through his cheek.
“sunghoon-“
“can i just tell you something real quick?” he asked, letting the car come to a harsh halt at a semi-empty parking lot.
y/n cocked her head. “sure..?”
hoon avoided eye contact for a second, turning his head away once he felt his cheeks heat up.
“you okay..?” he heard his favorite girl ask.
his throat cleared and he finally locked eye contact with her. “i can’t take it anymore, y/n.”
“take what?”
“i can’t stand seeing you talk to some guy you barely know. i can’t stand it, i hate that you’re talking to him like he’s your boyfriend when you…,” he stopped in a breathless voice.
y/n didn’t say anything, hinting that he should continue — “when you should be doing that with me.”
“hoon-“
“i know we’re friends and i know i probably just made matters worse but i can’t stand it anymore. i want you, y/n.“
sunghoon’s hand firmly gripped onto the steering wheel in fear, heart almost beating out of his chest with how abrupt he was being.
“i’m sorry, i understand that you probably don’t like me back but i-“
his constant ranting was shut up with a soft peck on the lips. immediately, his eyes widened and he choked a little on his saliva with how quick the kiss was.
y/n breathed out a laugh at his reaction, grinning wide as she replied, “i like you too.. loser.”
sunghoon bit his lips in an attempt to hide his smile. he was feeling shy for a second before immediately pulling her back onto his lips. they smashed against each others, causing a satisfied groan to leave his throat.
he was finally kissing the girl he’s been liking since high school and all he could do was groan.
his hands cupped her cheeks as hers laid on his shoulders. his lips continued to firmly press against hers before pulling away.
hoon heavily breathed, eyes closing shut at the weighing relief that lifted off of his shoulders.
“like you.. so, so much.” he whispered in her ear.
y/n giggled, feeling the ticklish breath linger around her. “shut up, i heard you.” she teased.
he cackled a laugh as well before bringing his gaze up to her, letting his eyes stare at her heated face.
the girl quickly noticed and nudged his head away. “stop looking at me with those eyes,” she shamed her own head away before glancing at him again.
“what eyes?” sunghoon questioned, brows teasingly raising with a mischievous grin. his eyes trailed up and down as he stayed in a complete daze.
y/n groaned out a sigh as she pushed him away again. “stop it, hoonie.”
he felt blood rush to his cheeks with every heart throb that was taken. that nickname would now permanently be only for her to use.
“call me that again.”
“what? hoonie?” y/n poked, lips curling into a smile.
the male grinned ear to ear before pulling her into another soft kiss.
a second passed and he pulled away.
“i should take you home but i can’t stop kissing you.” he whispered gently against her skin.
“take me on a real date and then you can kiss me all you want.”
his hands intertwined with hers and brought it up to his lips, placing a gentle kiss at the back of it.
“okay i’ll take you on one tomorrow, show you what sanha couldn’t do.”
y/n playfully rolled her eyes — “yeah yeah you do that.”
he kissed her cheek before backing the car out of its parking spot.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
soon, the two arrived to her place late at night, and it was then that sunghoon promised her an actual date for tomorrow.
“i’ll see you tomorrow, gorgeous.”
“gorgeous??” her head bolted at the name, and he only cheekily smiled.
“yeah.. gorgeous.”
“shut up.. good night.” y/n’s cheeks flushed with red as she left the car.
he watched her safely get in and soon drove off with silent giggles and warm heart throbs.
sunghoon and y/n were officially a couple. no more being idiots, and no more being friends.
★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★
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sequinsmile-x · 3 months ago
Text
Aftertaste
Everything changes in an instant. The pleasant warmth she’d been feeling, the arousal burning in her veins, immediately replaced by ice, panic washing over her at the combination of the whiskey on his breath and the compliment that had once belonged to another man.
Emily has a panic attack.
-x-
Hi friends,
This is another one of those ideas that kind of came to me on a night when I couldn't sleep. (I'm currently doing the very grown up thing of buying my first home and the anxiety is crippling so your gal isn't sleeping.) So, welcome to another part of the insomnia chronicles.
Please let me know what you think <3
-x-
Words: 4.5k
Warnings: Trauma, PTSD, panic attack
Read over on Ao3, or below the cut
He was even softer than she thought he’d be. 
She’d known him long enough to have seen it. To see the tender way he treated his son, how he’d been the same with Haley during the few times Emily had seen them as a couple. For years she allowed herself the fantasy of how he’d be with her, how he’d be gentle in a way no one else would ever know she wanted or needed. He’d exceeded her expectations over the last few weeks, treating her like she was made of something precious but never tripping over into treating her like she was fragile. 
She already knew she was in love with him, had known it for much longer than she cared to admit even to herself, but she couldn’t say it yet. The words trapped in her chest, buried under the rubble of all those that came before him, all those who had helped forge the walls she’d built around herself, the tools first handed to her by her mother before she was old enough to understand. 
She can’t bring herself to let go of him, her arms wrapped around him from behind, her cheek pressed against his shoulder as he digs through his pockets for the key to his apartment. 
“You said Jack is with Jess tonight?” She murmurs, kissing him through his jacket, breathing in the comforting scent of him, the vibration of his response passing back from his chest into hers. 
“Yes, she’s bringing him home in the morning,” he replies, pushing the door open before he turns in her arms, his smile soft as he presses it against hers, his hands on her lower back as he spins them, gently pushing her into the apartment first, “He said he’s excited for breakfast with you tomorrow,” he kisses her cheek before he unwraps himself from around her to lock his front door, “I told him we’d go to that diner he likes.”
Emily smiles nervously, an uncharacteristic shake to it, “And you’re sure-”
“Em,” he says, cutting her off with an understanding grin. He’d assured her more than once that Jack loved her, that he always wanted to spend time with her, especially now she was his father’s girlfriend, “I think you’re his favourite person on the planet. He loves spending time with you.” 
She presses her lips together to try to contain her smile, her cheeks warm with love for both of them, “I love spending time with him too.”
He hums, his hands on her hips as he tugs her closer, “Just him?”
Her smile turns teasing, her tongue pressed against the back of her teeth as she shrugs, “You too I guess.” 
He swallows her yelp as he pulls her into a kiss, his hands moving to her back as they lose themselves in each other. When he breaks the kiss he rests his forehead against hers, “Drink?” 
She nods, her tongue peeking out to lick her lower lip, chasing the taste of him whilst he grabs her hand and leads her towards the couch. As soon as she’s sitting down he tries to move, his hand slipping out of hers, but she stops him, the thought of not touching him too much to bear. She kisses him, a hand on each of his cheeks as he leans over the couch, holding him in place as he boxes her in. She stamps another kiss against his lower lip as he pulls away, smiling as she nips at the plushness of it, “I’ll take that drink now.”
He smiles, his dimples forming under her touch, the perfect size for her thumbs to sit, and he nods, “Do you want anything in particular or shall I surprise you?” 
She hums as she lets him go, feeling oddly bereft when he steps away, leaving coolness in his place as he walks the short distance to the bar cart, “What have you got?” 
“Well, Dave got me some whiskey for my birthday last year that I’ve never opened,” he says, reaching past the bottles neatly lined up on the front of the cart, “It always seemed too nice to drink alone, but…”
She stops hearing him when he shows her the bottle. The red glass momentarily makes her freeze, and the small gold bird on the label pulls her back in time. Aaron’s deep honey-coloured eyes are briefly replaced with icy blue ones, a flash of the past in between blinks that makes her breath catch in her chest. 
“Em, are you okay?”
She swallows thickly and looks at him, already nodding before she’s really sure, “I’m fine,” she says as she forces a smile, carrying on before he can ask again, “That’s an expensive bottle. Dave must have dropped at least a $1,000 on it.” 
He nods as he pulls the tag in the red foil around the neck of the bottle, “He told me it was $1,150,” he smiles wryly, “He likes to tell me how expensive things are in an attempt to make me feel uncomfortable,” his smile gets wider as she laughs, some of the tension in her chest easing, “I didn’t know you knew anything about speciality whiskeys.” 
Her mouth goes dry, her tongue heavy as she tries and fails to think of a way to respond. She didn’t know about whiskey, not really, but she knew this one. It was Ian’s favourite, something she was sure had everything to do with the price tag attached to it rather than the taste of the liquor itself. He’d always loved the finer things in life, always wanted the most expensive looking thing possible to improve his image. She knew she had counted as one of those things. It was why he’d bought her only the best clothes, never asking once if she liked any of them before he presented her with them, dressing her up as if she belonged to him. 
The scar on her chest aches, burning as if it were fresh, the smell of charred flesh briefly filling her senses before Aaron sinks on the couch next to her, passing her one of the glasses in his hand - a generous measure of whiskey in each. 
“Thanks,” she says, smiling as she takes it, staring at the amber liquid, “You know, I would have been happy with a normal $40 bottle of whiskey. They all taste the same over that price point anyway.” 
“I know,” he replies as he leans in to kiss her, the scent of his cologne washing over her, replacing anything else as she sinks into it, turning so she curls into his side, her hand on his thigh. His eyebrows knit together as he pulls back, a flicker of concern thrumming under his skin as she practically clings to him, her grip on his leg tight, “Are you sure you’re okay?” 
She nods, watching as he takes a swig of his drink, her gaze fixed on his Adam's apple when it shifts as he swallows. She doesn’t want to get into it, doesn’t want Ian to ruin what had been a perfect date with her boyfriend by bringing him up, his presence already having inevitably wormed into their very first one just a few weeks ago when Aaron saw her naked for the first time. He swore he only saw her, his touch gentle and kind as he skimmed his fingers over her scars. She hadn’t believed him until he took off his shirt and she saw his, Foyet the furthest thing from her mind as she took in how beautiful he was. 
She’s moving before she thinks about it, grabbing the glass from him and placing it down with hers on the coffee table. Before he can question what she’s doing she’s straddling him, her knees bracketing his hips as she sinks into his lap. She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him before he can say anything else, sighing contentedly when he wraps his arms around her, his fingertips from his spanned-out hands almost touching each other over her spine.  She can taste the whiskey on his tongue but it’s chased by him, the final notes of it something she was already used to and aching to have for the rest of her life. 
He encourages her upwards, his hands squeezing her hips as they stand together, moving in tandem as he ends up behind her, his chest against her back, “Bedroom.” 
She’s so focused on him, on the way his palm is warm through the material of her dress, on his lips pressing against her collarbone, that she simply nods in response. Sure her voice would give away how much she wanted him, her desire lodged in her throat. When they make it to his room he turns her, his touch gentle yet insistent as he tugs her dress over her head, his pupils blown wide as he looks her up and down. 
“Beautiful,” he mumbles, the word half pressed against her lips as he encourages her backwards, the back of her knees hitting the bed as he guides her down, his hands on her back as she arches up into him, “So beautiful.” 
She’d always been complimented on her appearance. It started before she was old enough to understand the currency of it. Men her mother was friends with telling her she was pretty before she knew how her face and her body would be both something she could weaponise as well as something that could be used against her. Ian had always called her gorgeous. The word spat out amongst curse words whenever they fucked, the compliment she’s sure he meant lost somewhere along the way. 
Aaron always called her beautiful. It made her skin flush, warmth spreading from her cheeks down her neck whenever he said it, and something about the way he looked at her made her believe him every time. A sense of awe shining back at her as if he was looking at a piece of priceless art in a museum, hidden behind glass she’d placed in front of herself after one too many people had tried to ruin her. 
She smiles and pulls him in for a kiss, spreading her legs so he can settle between them, the weight of him against her as much of a comfort as anything else. She hooks a leg around him, smirking as their kiss breaks and he ruts his hips against hers, her teeth sinking into her lower lip as their eyes meet, 
“Do you like the lingerie?” She asks, even though she knows the answer, the heavy weight of him against her hip obvious even through his pants, “I bought it for you.” 
He growls at the admission as he looks her up and down, taking in the forest green lace cupping her breasts and hugging her hips, and pride pulses through her. The fact she could do this to him, the most controlled man she’d ever met, enough to make her burst. He leans in, his kiss more passionate this time, forceful in a way that makes her moan, and she holds him closer. He pulls back just enough to speak, his breath skipping across her face. 
“You’re gorgeous.” 
Everything changes in an instant. The pleasant warmth she’d been feeling, the arousal burning in her veins, immediately replaced by ice, panic washing over her at the combination of the whiskey on his breath and the compliment that had once belonged to another man. She can smell smoke and fear and burned flesh and she feels herself folding inwards, her chest collapsing as Aaron’s weight above her is suddenly oppressive. She’s brought back the moment he kisses her neck, a shiver passing through her for all the wrong reasons as she shies away from it, her hands forceful on his shoulders, her foot now pushing at his hip, as she tries to get free. 
“Stop,” she chokes out, her voice sounding nothing like her own, “Aaron, stop.” 
She needn’t have asked the second time, he was already moving, but she does. She barely looks at him as she scrambles off the bed, her chest tight as she tries to breathe. 
“Em? Are you okay? What’s wrong?” 
She ignores his questions and looks for an exit, her eyes land on the door to the en-suite and she’s moving before she can think about it, her legs carrying her of her own accord. She slams the door shut behind her and locks it, the heavy wood muffling his continued attempts to talk to her. She turns and leans against it, her head hitting it with a heavy thunk before she sinks to the floor, the cool tile against her ass and thighs a stark reminder she was only wearing her lingerie. 
She hugs her legs to her chest and rests her forehead on her knees as she encourages herself to breathe. 
“Em?” 
A shaky breath rattles in her chest, “Aaron.”
She can hear how it sounds as close to begging as she’s ever come to with him, desperation laced into every syllable. She knows he hears it too as he replies, his voice soft and even as if he’s purposely trying to make himself small to not intimidate her, even through the door. 
“I’m not going to force my way in or make you talk to me, I just need to know if you’re hurt, sweetheart.” 
Guilt swells in her chest, the fear and concern leaking from him makes its way to the door between them, causing it to swell and warp to the point she’s briefly worried she’ll never get out, stuck on this side of the space she’s forced between them.
She swallows thickly, “I’m not hurt.” 
There’s a beat of silence that draws out around her, almost long enough that she thinks he’s left until he speaks, “I’ll leave something for you to wear out here. I’ll be in the living room when you’re ready.” 
She doesn’t respond, doesn’t know how to, his kindness almost cutting, making her feel worse for a reaction to something she hadn’t known would trigger her. She doesn’t know how long she sits there on his bathroom floor, the coolness of the tile against her skin something she hangs on to, an anchor in reality, as she reminds herself that Ian is gone. She’d watched him die. That he’d lost and she’d won and now she had this. A man she knew loved her even though neither of them had said it yet. A man who had looked devastated at the thought of hurting her, his pained expression something she’d caught even in the height of her panic. 
She eventually scrambles off of the floor, her legs slightly shaky beneath her, and she unlocks the door and steps out into the bedroom. She walks over to the bed and sees her discarded dress folded neatly next to a pair of his boxers and her favourite shirt of his. It makes her ache that he’s given her options even in this - the comfort of him or herself - when he doesn’t understand what has happened. She slips on his clothes, taking the time to bury her face against the collar of his shirt, breathing him in, letting it wash over her before she leaves the bedroom. 
He’s sitting on the couch when she makes it to the living room, the bottle of whiskey no longer on the table, hidden away back in it’s place on the bar cart. The glasses are gone too, and she spots them on the draining board. She briefly wonders if he drank any more of the whiskey, but then she smells the coffee in the air and then she sees the half drunk mug of it in front of him. She can picture him cleaning to keep himself busy whilst she sat on his bathroom floor, spurred on by worry for her that stopped him from sitting still, deciding to make coffee that she hopes is decaf just to pass more time. 
He looks over at her, his elbows resting on his knees. He looks wrung out, stress painted into the fine lines on his face, and she watches as he tries to force himself to relax, rolling his shoulders as he tries to shrink his frame. She blows out a breath and walks over, the cuffs of his shirt wrapped around her hands as she sits on the coffee table, his knees bracketing hers as she wraps her arms around herself, her mouth opening and closing a few times before she finds the words she’s looking for.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, “I…I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head and his hand twitches, reaching out for her before he stops himself, his hand forming a fist by his side, “You have nothing to apologise for, Em,” he says, his voice rough, “I just…what happened?” 
She knows if she said she didn’t want to talk about it that he’d drop it, that he’d let it go at least for now, and for a moment she’s tempted. Old habits that died hard calling her back, the empty promises the always offered her a lure she could never quite say no to, somehow never learning that the loneliness they brought weren’t worth the independence they gave her. She shakes it off because she doesn’t want to do that. She wants to tell him, wants him to know this part of her, to let him learn with her the parts of the new version of herself with her. 
She reaches out and grabs his hand, smiling softly as she links their fingers together, “I need you to understand this wasn’t your fault,” she starts with, squeezing his hand tighter when he frowns before he forces a tight nod, “The whiskey?” She says, biting the inside of her cheek, “It was Ian’s favourite. He drank it most nights.” 
Aaron’s hand loosens it grip on hers, the his shoulders slump no longer a conscious attempt to make himself small and unimposing, but his natural reaction to causing her any kind of discomfort. 
“Em,” he breathes out, her name like oxygen he can’t afford to lose as he shakes his head, “Why didn’t you tell me before I opened it? I never would have-”
“I know,” she assures him, wrapping both of her hands around his, “I know, but I didn’t think it would…” she presses her lips together and shakes her head, “I didn’t know that would happen.” She almost doesn’t tell him the rest of it, his reaction to just the whiskey itself enough to break her heart, to cause fractures he had healed to split back open. She knows she has to if she wants this to work, that she doesn’t want to put either of them in this position again, “He…he always called me gorgeous when we were…” she closes her eyes, embarrassment she knows she shouldn’t feel colouring her cheeks, “When we had sex. He’d always call me that. And-”
“I called you gorgeous,” he says, only remembering that he had as she says it, something he’d mumbled against her skin in the heat of the moment.
She nods, her gaze meeting his again, “I think that mixed in with the smell of the whiskey triggered something in my brain,” she hates that she can feel tears burning in her eyes, that this makes her feel so vulnerable in front of a man she’d already been intimate with, but she doesn’t try and stop it, disconnecting one of her hands from around his to wipe her cheek as the tears fall. 
“Sweetheart, I am so sorry,” he rasps, sounding close to tears himself, and she moves forward, sitting on the edge of the table so her knees are jammed up against the couch, her forehead against his, the last bit of tension in her chest dissipating at the smell of coffee on his breath, “I didn’t know.”
“You have nothing to apologise for, honey,” she assures him, “I didn’t know that was going to happen, so how could you?”
He kisses her forehead, the first time he’s touched her of his own accord since she’d walked into the living room, and then he pulls her as close as he can in the strange embrace they’d found themselves in, “We know now.” 
She smiles softly at the firmness in his tone, as if he was determined to remove the word gorgeous from his vocabulary entirely and swear he’d never drink expensive whiskey again. 
She captures his lips in a quick kiss, “Yeah, we know now,” she kisses him again before she stands, encouraging him backwards until she can sit in his lap, her knees on either side of his hips, a position they’d been in just before this all started. Instead of initiating a kiss she curls herself up, her cheek against his chest as she wraps herself around him, intent on being as close as possible. “Thank you for…stopping so quickly,” she says, her smile tight as she pulls away just enough to look up at him, unsure why she feels something close to embarrassed, “I appreciate it.” 
He frowns, the line between his eyebrows so deep she can’t help but reach out and soothe it, her thumb pressed against the bridge of his nose, “You don’t have to thank me for that.”
She thinks she somehow falls even more in love with him because of how incredulous he looks, and she stops herself from telling him, already feeling far too exposed for one evening, “Aaron, honey, you remember what we do for a living right?” She runs her fingers through his hair, “Not everyone stops.” 
He tightens his hold on her, questions she knows he won’t ask now pressed against her skin through the thin material of the shirt that she is wearing, “If there is ever anything else…” he says, his jaw tight, a ripple of self hatred passing through it, “You’ll tell me?” 
She nods pushing her fingers through his hair again, “Unless you take up smoking and dealing in the illegal weapons trade, I think we’ll be okay,” she jokes, her smile faltering when his lips barely twitch with it, the heaviness of what had happened dragging the corners of it down, “I’ll tell you,” she assures him, her lips catching the edge of his jaw as she leans in, determined to remove the tension from it, “I promise.” 
He kisses the top of her head, holding her close, touching her like she was made of glass, “Shall we get some sleep?” 
She knows this isn’t the end of this, that there is more to discuss beyond what had happened tonight, things they still had to learn about each other, but for now she wants it to be over. Wants to fall asleep in his arms, her face pressed against his neck. Comforted by the knowledge that even if her blue eyed monster visited her in her dreams, the smell of whiskey and danger the harbinger she may never truly be free from, that she’d wake up to Aaron and the love he gave her so freely. A debt she’d always repay without question, taking it in turns to be each other’s solid ground. 
“Yeah,” she says, kissing him, “Let’s get some sleep.” 
___
When she wakes up in the morning, she’s alone in bed, the coolness of the sheets only improved by the smell of him lingering on them. 
She wanders out into the apartment, bleary eyed and confused when it’s cold, every window open and letting in the cool morning air. She finds him in the kitchen, the now empty whiskey bottle disappearing from view almost immediately as he throws it into the recycling bin, the thick, expensive glass thunking against the bottom of it. She understands now why he’d opened all the windows in the early spring, the usual warmth of his apartment nowhere to be found. He hadn’t wanted her to smell the liquor in the air, had made sure to remove every reminder of it and she knew if she hadn’t woken up when she had he would have taken the recycling out too. 
“Aaron,” she exclaims, her eyes wide as he turns to look at her, unaware she’d even walked into the room, the sound of the street outside having drowned out her footsteps, “That was worth over $1,000.” 
She isn’t sure why she’s saying it, her gaze still fixed on the now empty bottle, the red neck of it peeking out from the recycling. She only realises he’s in front of her when he hooks his thumb under her chin, encouraging her to look up at him. 
“I don’t care about that,” he says, sounding so sure she can’t think of one reason to argue with him, “I care about you. I never want to…” 
He trails off, his hands tight on her hips as they migrate there as if magnetised, and she nods, wrapping her arms around his neck, her body pressed against his, seeking out his warmth in the cold, “I know,” she replies, stamping her lips against his, “I…thank you.”
It’s not lost on her that he’s thrown away something that was a gift, something he’d kept in the back of his bar cart for a special occasion, and that he’d done it without a second thought. So sure of her, of them, that he hadn’t considered anything else. 
“You don’t have to thank me, sweetheart,” he says, his eyebrows furrowed as if it was ridiculous, as if it wasn’t one of the kindest things anyone had ever done for her, past partner’s resistance to even pick up a box of tampons for her on their way home even more absurd than before, “It’s what you do for someone you lo…”
She fights a smile when he trails off, catching himself before he says it, panic she finds adorable flashing in his eyes. She kisses him, drawn forward as she cups the back of his head, holding him in place when she breaks the kiss. Her nose nudging against his as she says the thing that suddenly didn’t feel as revealing any more. Empowerment found in three words that she once saw only vulnerability in. 
“I love you.” 
His smile is answer enough, but he says it back, the words skipping across her skin as he repeats them, the smell of fresh coffee and her future lingering on his breath as he presses his lips against hers. 
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