#and i think it's fine to post artwork or fics or literally anything just to post it !!

[deductivisms]

having distanced myself from "fandom" spaces -- and really art-centered communities as a whole -- it really is strange to me how there's this perception that posting content automatically means that you're trying to grow an audience / want to become something like an influencer

i'm not trying to make a "living" off of being a content creator so it's not really important to me whether or not a piece gets a lot of visibility or not - i'm just drawing and posting what i like and if other people happen to like it or see it that's a nice bonus!! but i think personally i've kind of checked out of the idea of being an Artist On The Internet

i also just don't like the culture surrounding online art-centered spaces because it caused me to develop a very weird relationship with my work; i wasn't drawing to improve or because i wanted to, i was basically burning myself out trying to get "just good enough" to where people wouldn't judge me anymore for being "bad" which was like ?!?#?#?@#

it's nice to be treated not as someone's "art [sns] mutual" but as just a friend who may also happen to draw and that's why i've felt a lot more comfortable with the people i'm surrounded by now vs previously, where it always felt like my art was a factor into whether or not i was even given baseline respect nod nod

[mvltisstuff]

hello again, i’ve requested a few times (the feels and sweet nothing) and i was hoping i could request again? (i think i might add an emoji at the end bc i love your writing and will keep requesting as much as you allow ❤️❤️) anyway, i hope you’re doing well and things are going good.

i was wondering if i could request a buck fic where is partner is an artist and he finds a sketchbook of sketches of him and when he asks about it they talk about how pretty he is and how deserves to be appreciated and just making him feel super loved with it. thank you if you get to it and ofc no troubles if you don’t. take care 🥰

also is 🚒 good for a way to recognize me??

wasteland, baby! - e.b

summary: request

evan buckley x reader

a/n: omg you always have such creative ideas! i love receiving requests so always feel free :)) 🚒 = ❤️‍🔥 i also won’t be posting as frequently for the next few weeks due to finals, but after that i’ll be posting a ton!!

buck had come over to y/n’s apartment after his shift for dinner, and the scent of thick acrylic paint and primer had stung at his nostrils. he began to love the smell, as he knew that it meant she was around. he had let himself in with his key, taking in all of the perfectly placed plants and artwork on the walls.

she had a canvas that was almost complete, with just a few finishing touches. buck had walked over to it to examine. her talent was extraordinary. he knew it was out of this world, and the way she was so proud of her pieces his made his heart swell up with love.

“hi, buck!” y/n says, beginning to walk out of the hallway from her room to her art. she was wearing a pair of dark green pants and a white t-shirt which somehow complimented her beautifully. her face had small specks of blue and red on her cheeks and black and grey streaks on her shirt. “sorry it’s such a mess in here, but doesn’t this look great?”

“no, don’t worry about the mess, but how long did that take? it’s amazing!” buck stutters a big, not being able to comprehend how art like that could come out of her hands.

“thank you, love,” she replies, taking his belongings and placing them down for him. “how was work today? anything good?”

“just a normal old day, but you know it’s the 118.”

“it is never normal at the 118,” y/n smiles and gives him a cheek kiss before going to wipe her face off. buck goes to sit down in her living room on the couch, and she follows behind him with a quick change of shirt. she placed a small pizza in the oven to cook for them, and cuddled up next to him while they told each other stories about their day.

“it was wild, y/n,” buck starts. “i mean this woman literally rose from the dead after like 15 minutes, after being under a street. oh! you’re going to love this- and we saved some puppies in a sewer.”

“oh my god, are they ok?”

“they’re all fine, but i’m not sure if we are right now.”

“what do you mean?” she asks, slowly and carefully.

“you don’t smell something burning?”

she takes a deep inhale and looks over to her smokey kitchen. it wasn’t too bad, but definitely enough to make it inedible. “shit! fuck, i forgot about it!” she says, bouncing the pan up and down while trying not to burn herself.

y/n was busy discarding of the pizza when buck looked over at her with joy. he had a cheeky smile on his face and was laughing at the forgetfulness of both of them. he looked back down in front of him and the coffee table, and he saw a book that y/n always has on her. she brings it to work, to her family, anywhere she goes, she has it. it was her beloved sketchbook, filled with hundreds of small doodles and big pieces. buck has seen a lot of things in it, admiring each one before he comes across a bookmarked section.

when he flips the pages of the book, he notices that the person that is sketched and shaded looks particularly familiar. he makes note of the sharp nose and soft, but hard jaw. he sees the famous birthmark on the side of his face. he’s never looking right on, though. he’s always focused on something or has a light grin on his face. buck knows these are of him, but he doesn’t think he had any importance to be the top drawing in her book.

y/n walks back in to greet her boyfriend, “i think we might just have to ord-“ she looks at the sketches that she had put on that paper. a heat rose up into her face, reddening her cheeks and making her feel a sense of embarrassment.

“a-are these me?” buck asks, quietly. y/n nods, slowly, praying that she didn’t make him uncomfortable and that she will see him again tomorrow. “i-um..”

“you don’t have to say anything, buck. i never meant for you to see those and if you don’t like them, i’ll never do it again i swear. you just, you’re so beautiful, buck. and i love to draw beautiful things.”

“i just don’t know what to say, these are so good. i feel like you know me more than i know myself,” he says, chuckling a bit.

“you like ‘em?”

“i love them,” buck says.

“good, i just couldnt stop myself. you are always so pretty, no matter what and i want you to know that, so i tried to convey it through this. i was going to show you eventually, but i wanted to do more.”

“why me, though? you could draw anyone,” buck asks.

“no one else is you! you might have a pretty face and all but there is really nothing more beautiful than your soul. you are filled with so much love and sweetness and i’ve been dying to find a way to show you, because you are loved, evan. i love you and i wanted to put my two favorite things together. not a day goes by where i have anything but love for you.”

suddenly, the feeling in bucks chest is rising stronger, feeling like it’s going to burst. when it does, he has strong riptides of tears in his eyes. with a pure smile on his face, he passionately leaves a kiss on her lips, and he feels loved for the first time.

growing up, his parents never showed him love. he always begged for it from everyone he knew, and now he feels like it isn’t deserved. but someone, y/n made him feel like he will forever be worthy of love. and he will never forget how she fixed him for the best.

[firexima]

Hi! This is going to be a long post but I thought it was worth talking about.

In the following, I talk about separating Wilbur Soot from his characters in art and how I feel about it, as well as how I would go about scenarios in which his character’s presence is essential to the work and cannot be removed.

TLDR (Summary):

With visual art, I believe separating the character from the content creator is more complicated than just simply stating it is “not in support of X” and that it needs extra steps.

What you can do:

With polished works (like artworks): Have him partly cut from the frame (especially his face) or entirely out of frame

With unfinished/rough works (like animatics): Have him be a blank placeholder character that fills and does the acting that would be his character

With fic versions of the character (specifically non canon/canon-divergent fics): Using only the written descriptions and designing every unspoken characteristic separately and away from what the cc looks like

With anything: Making the work literally from the characters POV— as in, literally what the characters eyes would see so at no point is the character actually drawn

This is not a dig at anyone, just personal thoughts and tips

Art is much more consumed and seen than fics. I feel that there is much more care an artist has to put to really separate the character from the cc, because even when claiming that you do not support the cc and that the work you post is entirely about the character— I don’t think it’s that simple. Personally, I think it still inadvertently supports the cc especially when the character looks so visually similar to the creator because it still promotes them. Ever since everything came out, I have not and still do not continue to feel ok with depicting his character as I do not want to use my space and my art to support or promote him in any way.

Thinking back to the huge impact that artists like SAD-ist had in promoting the SMP and their characters, it clearly shows just how much power art really has in how much it can support someone. Art still communicates, and it is very powerful in communicating so I am very careful about what I would communicate and promote by drawing his character even if I state it’s not in support of the creator.

I have been consistently drawing Technoblade and in doing so I help keep his memory alive, even when I’m just drawing his characters and his characters are separate from him as a person. So if I don’t want to do this, there are extra steps of separation to ensure the person does not benefit in any way from what I create.

For the last year I’ve been passively thinking of ways I can still produce art of content he is in where it is hard to completely remove him due to how pivotal of a role his character plays. I haven’t gotten the time, nor have I bothered ever prioritizing any ideas or works in progress I would have to do this with but I thought it would be helpful to share!

Here are some of the things I have thought of doing to fully separate characters from cc!Wilbur:

CANON CHARACTER:

My personal rule of thumb is: If it can get immediately recognized as being him or if he himself were to look at it, and he’d recognize it as himself— it’s too close.

If someone who knew Wilbur (the person) but not his character, looked at it and recognize him, it’s too close.

I’m fine with his presence being heavily implied, like if he’s cut off but because of context you can tell his character is in the scene.

For example: If I were to draw L’Manberg c!Tommy and just to the side is a cut-off person in a L’Manberg uniform that’s taller. Or a drawing of Pogtopia where there is a shadow of a person and you can see the silhouette of a trench coat. If I have to render him, especially the face? I’m not doing that.

-> Worth noting: These are examples where the clothing is more geared towards things ONLY about the character, as Wilbur himself (except for cosplaying his character) never actually wears these exact outfits. But, if say, it’s a figure with the yellow sweater and black jeans— visual character details that were taken from the cc? I’m not doing that.

When it comes to something like an animatic (that I actually had been working on before everything was exposed) if I come back to finishing it, what I can do since it’s not something that’s going to be polished is I am just straight up not going to draw any of his features. He just gets to be an ambiguous figure.

Example:

He is just a blank placeholder that fills that role and space but does not depict him.

This being said, I won’t do anything where his character is the focus. Any content or any stories he told where he is the focus I’m not touching. I don’t want to give voice or support anything from him. This is mainly where he is an essential part of something else that I can’t find a way to simply not have him at all in.

For example: I had been working on an animatic that focuses on c!Techno during Pogtopia— and while I can remove him from as many scenes as possible, I can’t entirely remove him since that character was that important for it. However, the focus of the whole thing is still c!Techno. This is a project I’ve been wanting to finish and post especially to support and spread Techno’s story and his memory.

FIC CHARACTER:

For fics things get much easier to deal with since there’s even more original content of specifically the character in the story that I can focus on to further completely separate the character from the man who made the character who was the source inspiration. It’s another layer further removed from the man and there’s more original information.

With these, if the fic characters described design is visually far enough removed and original enough I feel more comfortable considering approaching it. But if it’s not enough, I handle it how I would handle a regular book character that I wanted to draw: I specifically use the descriptive information only in the story and the essence of the characters personality and what’s important that makes the character. With that, I can design something where anything not described is up to me to further differentiate the character from any association with Wilbur.

For example: This is something I did a while ago with the character in “the stars and their children” by bonesandthebees where I explored this separation:

(It also helps that in this story one of his names is Orpheus so I can stick to referring to him by that name)

I’ve found this a bit trickier with fic characters as well-known as Siren for example and I’m still figuring out what to do about two videos I had been working on that featured him in it, but it does help that no scenes contain the civilian version and only include the original villain design.

(From all my clinic projects, all the ones where he was one of the main focuses is completely abandoned, this is about one where it’s about all the villains of the Syndicate and they all get equal screen time)

-> Worth noting: When I talk about fics here, I mean those that are completely separate from canon. Any retellings of the DSMP or any stories he tells are not something that fit into this, as the visual characteristics of the character are not original enough for me to be ok with.

Lastly:

This is all not a dig at anyone who doesn’t follow what I personally would do. This is to share the ways I have found to really separate from the source. I have been facing many challenges and very hard times in my personal life and mcyt has been a great help in coping and pushing through everything I’ve been going through, and I’m not the only one. Although I still have not and don’t plan on having to use any of these strategies for a while as it still makes me feel sick, I hope maybe this can help someone else— especially considering Wilbur is not the only content creator who one would have to do this with.

[whumptober]

Whumptober 2020 - Updated

Welcome to Whumptober 2020! We’re doing things a little differently this year so please make sure to read the Event Info carefully. We are also excited to announce the addition of an AO3 Collection, which can be found here.

We hope you’re as excited as us to watch the Whump Community come together once again for a month of bone-crunching creativity and collaboration!

(All 31 Themes + Prompts, Event Information, and FAQs are posted below the cut!)

No 1. LET'S HANG OUT SOMETIME Waking Up Restrained | Shackled | Hanging

No 2. IN THE HANDS OF THE ENEMY  "Pick Who Dies" | Collars | Kidnapped

No 3. MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY Manhandled | Forced to their Knees | Held at Gunpoint

No 4. RUNNING OUT OF TIME Caged | Buried Alive | Collapsed Building

No 5. WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING? On the Run | Failed Escape | Rescue

No 6. PLEASE.... "Get it Out" | No More | "Stop, please"

No 7. I'VE GOT YOU Support | Carrying | Enemy to Caretaker

No 8. WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO? "Don't Say Goodbye" | Abandoned | Isolation

No 9. FOR THE GREATER GOOD "Take Me Instead" | "Run!” | Ritual Sacrifice

No 10. THEY LOOK SO PRETTY WHEN THEY BLEED Blood Loss | Internal Bleeding | Trail of Blood

No 11. PSYCH 101 Defiance | Struggling | Crying

No 12. I THINK I'VE BROKEN SOMETHING Broken Down | Broken Bones | Broken Trust

No 13. BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT Delayed Drowning | Chemical Pneumonia | Oxygen Mask

No 14. IS SOMETHING BURNING? Branding | Heat Exhaustion | Fire

No 15. INTO THE UNKNOWN Possession | Magical Healing | Science Gone Wrong

No 16. A TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY Forced to Beg | Hallucinations | Shoot the Hostage

No 17. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING Blackmail | Dirty Secret | Wrongfully Accused

No 18. PANIC! AT THE DISCO Panic Attacks | Phobias | Paranoia

No 19. BROKEN HEARTS Grief | Mourning Loved One | Survivor's Guilt

No 20. TOTO, I HAVE A FEELING WE'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE Lost | Field Medicine | Medieval

No 21. I DON'T FEEL SO WELL Chronic Pain | Hypothermia | Infection

No 22. DO THESE TACOS TASTE FUNNY TO YOU? Poisoned | Drugged | Withdrawal

No 23. WHAT’S A WHUMPEE GOTTA DO TO GET SOME SLEEP AROUND HERE? Exhaustion | Narcolepsy | Sleep Deprivation

No 24. YOU’RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE Forced Mutism | Blindfolded | Sensory Deprivation

No 25. I THINK I’LL JUST COLLAPSE RIGHT HERE, THANKS Disorientation | Blurred Vision | Ringing Ears

No 26. IF YOU THOUGHT THE HEAD TRAUMA WAS BAD... Migraine | Concussion | Blindness

No 27. OK, WHO HAD NATURAL DISASTERS ON THEIR 2020 BINGO CARD? Earthquake | Extreme Weather | Power Outage

No 28. SUCH WOW. MANY NORMAL. VERY OOPS. Accidents | Hunting Season | Mugged

No 29. I THINK I NEED A DOCTOR Intubation | Emergency Room | Reluctant Bedrest

No 30. NOW WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? Wound Reveal | Ignoring an Injury | Internal Organ Injury

No 31. TODAY’S SPECIAL: TORTURE Experiment | Whipped | Left for Dead

Alternate Prompt List

Alt 1. Punctured

Alt 2. Falling

Alt 3. Comfort

Alt 4. Stitches

Alt 5. Stoic Whumpees

Alt 6. Altered States

Alt 7. Found Family

Alt 8. Adverse Reactions

Alt 9. Memory Loss

Alt 10. Nightmares

Alt 11. Presumed Dead

Alt. 12. Water

Alt. 13 Accidents

Alt. 14 Shot

Alt. 15 Carry/Support

Event Info

WHUMPTOBER is a month-long, prompt-based creation challenge (think: Inktober, but whumpier). There are 31 Official themes this year - one for each day of the month - which can be used, skipped, or combined in any way you’d like. They are meant to serve as inspiration without being taken literally (e.g. you don't have to include the exact wording into your work). Additionally, there are 3 prompts for each theme.  These are optional suggestions and can be used in conjunction with the theme, or as options/alternatives.  We want to give everyone as much creative freedom as possible, as well as increase event accessibility for folks with triggers and squicks.

Creators can PRODUCE work in any media they choose, including but not limited to: writing, visual artwork, and photo/video/audio edits. Creators can PARTICIPATE as much or as little as they want (i.e. you don’t have to do ALL the prompts if you don’t want to) and prompts can be used in any order. They are also free to use even after the event ends.

When uploading Whumptober content to your blog, be sure to tag the with:

#whumptober2020 …..(the event tag)

#no.1, #no.2, #no.3, …..(theme number)

#bruised, #stabbed,  …..(the theme or specific prompt you chose)

#fandom or #OC

#medium …..(gifs, fic, podcast, art, etc.)

#teeth, #etc …..(trigger warnings & any additional tags. Keep in mind not to add “tw” in front but only use the word/trigger itself, because tumblr sucks)

#nsfw, #nsfwhump …..(only for nsfw content)

PLEASE BE DILIGENT WITH YOUR TAGGING. Only properly tagged posts are considered for archiving on the official @whumptober2020​ blog. They must be tagged in the order above.

Unfortunately, due to the sheer number of participants in recent years, we cannot guarantee your work will be archived. A random selection of properly tagged posts from all genres will be reblogged each day.

Whumpers who produce content for 31 total theme days are considered event completionists and will be tagged in a masterpost at the end of the month.

Questions not addressed below can be directed to this blog as well.

Thanks for reading, and happy whumping!

Frequently Asked Questions

Q. What kind of content can I make? Can it be NSFW?

This is a MIXED MEDIA event! You can write fic, post meta, doodle or paint, create a gif set or photo edit, link a song, or get crafty with video - anything goes. As for NSFW, make what you like, we just hope that you’ll tag your work accordingly so that others participating in the event can stay safe :)

Q. Do I have to do all 31 Days? Can I post early/late?

Participate as much or little as you like, and post whenever! Just be sure to tag your posts properly (ex. #no.11, #psych101). Combining prompts into one piece of work is okay, and posting late is as well so as long as it’s in October.

Q. What if I don’t understand a theme?

Send us an ask! We’re happy to help clarify. That said, the themes are entirely up for interpretation :)

Q. Can I combine Whumptober with other creation challenges?

Absolutely! That’s like shooting two whumpees with one bullet :)

Q. Can I upload/repost my whumptober content to other social media platforms?

Of course! We’ve created an AO3 Collection to archive any fics posted there. The archive can be accessed here. The blog is the official archive, so please respect the boundaries of any closeted whumpers in your social circle :)

Q. Can I use prompts to write a new chapter for an existing fic?

Yes

Q. An existing fic I am currently writing contains many of the Whumptober prompts, can I use it?

If you are actively writing this fic at the moment with the whumptober prompts in mind, yes. If it just conveniently checks the boxes, then please don’t. You can, however, add new chapters answering one or more of the prompts.

Q. What kind of characters can I write for?

Fandom characters, OC characters, human, furry, alien, cyborg, whoever you like.

Q. Can I use a prompt multiple times?

Yes,  but it only counts once

Q. If I’m not comfortable with one day's prompts can I use a prompt of a different day as a substitute and still be a completionist?

Yes, but please do not use a specific prompt twice. We have also created an alternate prompts list that you can draw from [here].

Q. Where can I post my work?

Post where and how you want. You don’t even have to (cross)post it to Tumblr. Just keep in mind if it’s not on Tumblr we will not be able to add it to the blog archive.

Q. Can I start posting early?

You can, but this is an October event and wouldn’t it be more fun with everyone doing it at the same time? That being said, you can post early, but we won’t be reblogging any work predating October 1st.

Q. Do I have to finish a fic I started/can I post WIP’s.?

Yes you can post WIPs. And you’re not obligated to finish it in October for it to count towards being a completionist.  

Q. Is co-writing allowed?

Yes, absolutely, and it would count towards being a completionist for both/all of you :)

Q. Do I have to create 31 standalone pieces to be considered a completionist or can I write one continuous story?

One continuous story is fine.  The challenge is to write something for 31 prompts. If that’s spread over 31 fics or just one, you are still considered a completionist. (The same goes for every other media you choose.)

Q. Is there a min/max limit on word count?

There is no limit

Q. Can I combine prompts? Is there a limit on how many?

No limit and combine as many as you’d like.

Q. Is a hc/angst focus ok?

Of course!

Q. What’s considered nsfw?

See this post

Q. What's whump?

See this post

Q. My interpretation of the prompt isn't whumpy at all, does that count?

No, sorry, but keep in mind that whump [see definition] is something very nuanced and different for everyone and emotional whump/angst is just as much part of it, as is physical whump and torture. So before you dismiss your idea, think about this.

Q. Can I start working on the prompts before October?

Absolutely! That’s why we posted the prompts a month in advance. We recognise how difficult it can be creating for 31 days in “real time”.

Q. How do I tag triggers?

tw at the end of the word, ex. emeto tw

Q. Do I have to use your tags?

Yes, if you want your work archived on the blog. If not, feel free to use whatever tags you want.  

Q. Does combining prompts count towards completion?

Yes

Q. Can we @ you?

Yes but we mostly rely on the whumptober2020 tag

Q. Is there anything we are absolutely not allowed to write?

There are no rules, just be sure to properly tag your trigger warnings. And keep in mind Tumblr’s policies if you are posting it here (or the policies of whatever site you use).

Q. Where can I go for brainstorming help?

Here on Discord

Q. My characters are minors, is that ok?

Yes, but as with everything else, tags are your best friend.

Q. Can I cross post on other blogs?

Yes, multiple platforms and blogs are perfectly acceptable. You can also post different works to different accounts under different names, without posting them everywhere at once.

Note: This is a creation challenge, please don’t repost your old work under our tags (unless it’s been changed or edited for the event).

[lacrow]

Forger Spookfest 2020!!!

Alright folks, it’s time to get spoopy! October is nearly upon us. I’ve already made it known that I’ll be writing Halloween themed fics for the next few weeks, but I thought it’d be fun to send out an open invitation to the SxF community to join me! This isn’t really an organized event (I have no means to coordinate such a thing), but more of just a way to get people interested in creating new pieces and having fun with the Forgers on Halloween. 

Throughout the entire month of October, all the way up until the 31st, you can get involved by just tagging whatever SxF-related Halloween thing you create/contribute to/discover as #Forger Spookfest

Examples include;

Writings: (drabbles, poems, one-shots, chapter stories, etc.)

Drawings: (scribbles, sketches, paintings, drawings, comics, anything goes)

Discussions: (musings, questions, theories, whatever)

Other media: (songs, videos, other manga, literally anything you want that makes you think SxF on Halloween)

Furthermore, content can be any character, any rating, any genre. If you’re creating something, make it as fluffy or as horrific as you want. You wanna make a comic about Anya going trick-or-treating? Awesome. You wanna write a story about Yor going postal and killing all the kids at Crystal Lake? Go for it, my dude. You feel like having an open debate about what kind of monster form would best fit Loid? Have at it!

In the case of pieces posted on other platforms (Ao3, ff.net, pixiv, ARTstreet, etc.), feel free to link to your work and tag it appropriately. Remember, this isn’t a contest or competition. Don’t be afraid to share what you’ve made, because I guarantee you that someone out there will love it!

For non-content creators, feel free to contribute by reblogging and tagging things you’ve found that you think fit Spoopfest. It’s your blog, have fun with it!

NOTE: Tagged content that isn’t an open/official source (such as official artwork, manga panels, or media hosted on other sites like youtube or spotify) and/or doesn’t belong to you needs to have the permission of the owner to be posted and appropriately cited (reblogging is fine so long as its cited). Regardless, always credit the artist! 

Again, this is an open invitation running all the way up to October 31st. There’s no need to ask permission to contribute and you can get started now if you want. Also there’s no limits on how many things you tag, so long as it’s all Halloween related!

Real talk. This whole thing could be a complete bust and no one participates, but if even one person is inspired to create something out of this then I’ll consider it a success. Depending on how it all goes, more holiday events might be on the table for the future (December is just around the corner, after all).

Also this was originally going to be Forger Family Spoopfest, but tumblr is stupid and flagged it as NSFW. So Forger Spookfest it is.

Image above courtesy of Tatsuya Endo’s official twitter.

[redbone135]

Fake Dating AU

(I’m posting this here for Swanfire week because it bothers me to have unfinished fics on my AO3 account. It’s the set-up for a fake dating AU that I’m fairly certain will never actually get written. Strap in, it’s a long post.)

“Wait in the car,” Rumple hissed as sheriff Humbert let go of Neal’s shoulder with a resigned shake of his head, disappearing into his back office and leaving the front desk clerk to deal with this mess. The recurring shenanigans of Neal Gold had become way below his pay-grade.

“I didn’t do anything wrong!” Neal insisted with a pout.

“I said. Wait. In. The. Car!” His father managed to get out through gritted teeth.

“It wasn’t my fault!” Neal shouted, kicking at the front desk as he passed, causing a heap of papers to fall over onto the floor. 

“CAR!”

“FINE!”

“Can I see his emergency contact form,” Rumple asked with a grimace, “I’d like to add Milah Cassidy to it - that’s Cassidy with two Ss and an I. If you could give her a call first next time-”

“You know,” the front desk woman - who the Gold family was on quite intimate terms with at this point - began while eyeing her stack of toppled papers on the floor, “There’s a juvenile support group for young offenders. Their rehabilitation program is said to work wonders.”

“I’m not an ‘offender’!” they heard Neal shout from the front entryway of the county sheriff’s office before slamming the door behind him. 

Rumple shook his head. His son would never agree to that. And honestly, he knew where Neal got it from. He wouldn’t want to sit in a room with a bunch of other bad decision makers and share stories of his failure while people plied him with cliche platitudes, assuring him he was still, deep down, a good person. He waved the flier away politely.

“We don’t need that.”

She shrugged, “You know, you’re going to run out of bail money eventually, right?”

“Bail money only runs out when he does.”

They both cast a thoughtful glance back to the front window, Neal visibly sulking in the passenger seat of his dad’s car. He’d somehow managed to find a sharpie in the immaculately clean car and was adding to the permanent collection of his ‘artwork’ on the car’s dashboard.

The front desk clerk raised an eyebrow.

“Ok, fine, give me the flier,” Rumple sighed.

*

Rumple had been right, Neal did not want to go to the group meetings. In fact, he had been so vehemently opposed that he had threatened to pack his bags and run away, and that had been the end of that conversation. So they hadn’t talked about it, or his community service, or the fact that he hadn’t seemed to learn his lesson at all. In fact, his family had stayed suspiciously quiet about it up until the day they had decided to all go out for a family lunch at Granny’s diner and Belle’s minivan had pulled up to a stop in front of the little church advertised on the flier. And even though Neal begged them to talk about it then, they hadn’t had much in the way of a discussion as his little brother undid his seatbelt, and his stepsister pushed him out of the car, slamming the door behind him, while his father waved spitefully and Belle promised they’d be back to pick him up in an hour. 

And he had never planned on walking into that church, he’d hitchhike to his mom’s and it would serve them right, but just in that moment a woman had walked by with a box of doughnuts and they had smelled really, really good. So maybe he had time to grab a snack before he booked it to the relative freedom of the Cassidy-Jones houseboat. 

Yes, the plan had been simple. Get a free cup of coffee and doughnut, sneak out the back before anyone noticed, get to his mom’s, and then when stepdad started to irk him - probably around day three - he’d come back to his dad’s and they would have all been so worried about him there would be no more talk about him having to go to these stupid meetings. 

Flawless plan.

And then he saw her.

She was slouched over in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs, flanked on either side by two other girls that looked about as terrifying as Neal’s stepsister, picking at the loose threads in a hole in her leggings. She had thick, black-rimmed glasses that made her bright blue eyes look seductively large, and red lipstick that wasn’t her shade but definitely proved her point. 

And a homemade tattoo on her wrist. Intriguing. Neal had done enough homemade tattoos on his friends to recognize talent. His mind began to swim with daydreams of the two of them, stretched out across his bed with a bottle of India ink between them as he added intricate details to the daisy, transforming it into a work of art befitting the masterpiece of a canvas it had been painted on.

New plan.

So he stayed for the meeting, taking carefully timed sips of coffee so that he wouldn’t have to share anything with the group. She didn’t share either, he noticed. Perfect. She also didn’t want to be here.

So he waited for her by the snack table afterwards, watching her put extra doughnuts wrapped in napkins into her purse - like anyone would have cared if she’d just taken the whole box. 

“Neal Cassidy,” he said, extending his hand and startling her into jumping and dropping the doughnut she was holding.

She glared. “You don’t need to know my name.”

“I like your tattoo,” he offered, turning to follow her as she walked away toward the front door. “I have one myself, want to see it?”

“Not if it involves you taking off any articles of clothing,” she said, offering him a smug grin.

“Maybe later then,” he said, speeding up his pace to step in front of her and stop cold, blocking the only door, much to her obvious annoyance. “So, why are you here?”

“Stole a car.”

“Wow! Same, we’re twins!” he exclaimed with a grin, and he thought if he wasn’t mistaken he saw the tiniest hint of a grin on her face. “So why’d you do it?”

“Why did you?” she shot back a little too aggressively.

“My mommy didn’t love me enough,” he laughed, “It’s this whole tragic backstory thing, if only I’d had someone to be proud of me, maybe then I wouldn’t be living this life of petty juvenile crime. I was just one caring parent away from being a scholar and a gentleman. You?”

She definitely chuckled at that, her shoulders letting go of some of the tension as she placed a hand on her hips and shot back with equal glibness, “No excuse. I just enjoy pure, mindless vandalism.”

That was kinda hot.

“Really?” he asked, “No tragic backstory? No evil step mom, followed by one who is way too young for your dad? No little half-sibling that gets all the attention and an aggressive step sister who is just staying with you until her mom gets out of jail? No creepy step dad who hits on your friends and takes money out of your wallet when you’re not looking?”

“Nope. My parents are perfect.”

And the way she said the word perfect told Neal everything he needed to know about her family. There was her reason, beyond enjoying the random chaos of destruction, the slight inflection on the word perfect was her reason. And so Neal adjusted his plan slightly.

“Oh, wow. Well you want any of those things? You can have mine, I wouldn't mind sharing.”

“I think I’ll pass, thanks,” she laughed, pushing him lightly out of the way to walk to the church parking lot where a lot of the other teens were climbing into family cars. Of course his family wasn’t here yet. 

“Listen, Anna,” he said, “I know you don’t want to be here. Neither do I. What if there was a way we could help each other with that?”

“It’s Emma,” she corrected before realizing the trap she had fallen into. “And if you’re suggesting some sort of murder-suicide pact then you should know I’m already pretty close to murdering the creepy stalker who just tricked me into giving him my name.”

He grinned, shoving his hands in his pockets as he waited for her to finish surveying the parking lot. Her parents weren’t here, either. What a shame.

“Listen, you need someone to help you convince your parents you’re rehabilitated. It’s not a question. With your attitude, they aren’t gonna buy it without some outside assurance. I’d be excellent at that. What says ‘walking the straight and narrow’ better than a polite boyfriend who also happens to be really good and drawing up fake reports cards and providing alibis. I swear, I’ll have you out of this thing in under a month.”

She turned to look at him skeptically, “You think you can charm my parents? My mom literally calls my dad Prince Charming and you think you can charm them?”

“I know I can.”

She mulled it over, not seeming to hate the idea as he had anticipated. 

“And in exchange? I’m what? The sweet girl next door in a floral sundress who promises your parents she’ll take you to church and make you normal again?”

“Nah. Dad’s on his third wife and mom lives on a boat. They have no idea what normal even looks like. No, I want you to convince them this whole group thing is hurting more than it’s helping. And you look like exactly the kind of girl who can scare the daylights out of my dad. Tell me, how good are you at faking a pregnancy scare?”

“Who’s faking?” she laughed, rubbing her stomach sarcastically.

“Perfect!” he ginned, pulling a pen out of his bag and scribbling his number on a napkin for her. “I’ll pick you up at six tomorrow - wouldn’t want to have you out past dark. Oh, and one more thing, when you finally do meet my dad, I need you to mention how cute it is that he and my stepmom have matching British accents. That will make more sense when you meet them.”

“Goodbye, fake boyfriend!” she waved, as a rusty blue pick-up pulled into the parking lot, jogging over to climb into the cab.

Neal waited another thirty minutes for his family to arrive.

“How was your meeting?” Belle asked over her shoulder as Neal shoved Regina out of the way to get to the back seat. 

“Start any fights yet?” Regina asked, reaching into the back to punch him in the knee, “Light any fires? Get anyone pregnant?”

“Regina!” Belle scolded, “Don’t talk to your brother like that.”

“Step brother!” She and Neal chimed as one.

“And in the spirit of fairness, dearie,” Rumple mumbled from the passenger seat, “Those are all very good questions.”

Neal hoped Emma was as great as acting as he was. Because if his family thought he was trouble now, it was about to get a lot worse.

[jacaranda-bloom]

Monthly fic rec showcasing fics I’ve read for the first time, and old favorites that I’ve been drawn back to for another read. In this installment, there are fics from @sadaveniren @taggiecb @newleafover @beau-soleil-louis @kingsofeverything @dinosaursmate @jaerie and @runaway-train-works 

FIRST TIME READ

Face Your Fears by SadaVeniren @sadaveniren

Main Pairing: Harry/Louis | Rating: Explicit

Written for: @onedirectionbigbang

Words: 92,217 | Published: April 24, 2019

Tags: ABO, Mpreg, Alpha Louis, Omega Harry, Famous/Non-Famous (check work for further tags)

Summary: Harry is a single father, pretending to be a beta after his alpha mated him and left him. He’s getting by just fine raising the twins when Louis walks into his bakery. Too bad him and Louis will never be a thing.

That’s What I’m Here For by taggiecb @taggiecb

Main Pairing: Harry/Louis | Rating: Explicit

Written for: @onedirectionbigbang

Words: 46,838 | Published: April 18, 2019

Tags: Older Characters, Age Difference, Friends to Lovers (check work for further tags)

Summary: Louis Tomlinson is a dairy farmer on a tiny farm in eastern Canada. His wife of nearly thirty years has left him and his children are all grown up and out of the house. Louis needs help running his business but has no idea where to even start looking. Luckily for him, his children know just the man for the job.

Constant Debauchery by blake @newleafover

Main Pairing: Harry/Louis | Rating: Explicit

Written for: @1dgayboficfest

Words: 19,421 | Published: March 2, 2019

Tags: ABO, Alpha/Alpha, Historical AU, Sexual Awakening (check work for further tags)

Summary: When Harry speaks, it’s with a cloud of smoke spilling out across Louis’s ear, cheek, and neck. “I’m glad I’m not the only alpha who’s not an idiot.” Louis forces his smile to stay on his face as Harry stands up and follows the boys as they pick up their things and start walking, but he’s shaken to the core, even though he shouldn’t be. For so many reasons, he shouldn’t be. But this is the moment that he realizes what he’s known, on some level—what he has smelled—all night. Harry is an alpha. It’s also the moment that he realizes he’s disappointed that it’s the truth. OR Harry is an alpha who loves getting his mouth knotted by other alphas. Louis is happy to serve. Fun smut! But also angst and sexual awakenings.

Breathe Me by only_angel_28 @beau-soleil-louis

Main Pairing: Harry/Louis | Rating: Mature

Words: 13,550 | Published: April 11, 2018

Tags: Strangers to Lovers, Homeless Louis, Music Student Harry, Hurt/Comfort, Smut (check work for further tags)

Summary: “Louis?” Harry queries softly, his voice nothing more than a whisper. “Why are you living in my car?” Louis sighs, and this time it’s laced with a mixture of sadness and exhaustion, the sound of it tugging at Harry’s heartstrings. “Long story,” he says finally with a weak smile. “Will you tell me?” Harry prods gently, his demeanor akin to that of someone approaching a wild animal with their arms outstretched in a gesture of submission. “You don’t have to, like—I mean…it’s just, I’m a pretty good listener, and you seem like maybe you could use a friend?” “What gave me away?” Louis jokes dryly. OR the one where Harry has a broken heart, Louis has a broken home, and all it takes is one night together for them to fall in love.

Snow Big Deal by fullonlarrie @kingsofeverything

Main Pairing: Harry/Louis | Rating: Explicit

Series: Tiny Penis Fics (Part 3/3)

Words: 8,390 | Published: April 15, 2019

Tags: Small Penis, Snowboarding, Photography, Smut.

Summary: Louis is a professional snowboarder set to appear in ESPN The Body Issue and Harry is an assistant photographer working for the magazine. They have more in common than they think.

Graphic Design Is My Passion by fullonlarrie @kingsofeverything

Main Pairing: Harry/Louis | Rating: Explicit

Written for: @homosociallyyours

Words: 6,482 | Published: April 19, 2019

Tags: University/College AU, Artworks, Dildos, Blowjobs, Jerking Off.

Summary: Graphic design student Louis Tomlinson has exams to study for and final art projects to complete if it would stop raining long enough for him to walk across campus. Luckily Harry Styles has an umbrella, and he’s perfectly willing to share. Louis doesn’t plan to get his heart broken and he doesn’t plan to make almost a hundred silicone dildos. One of these things definitely happens.

OLD FAVE’s

We’ll Be Seamless by dinosaursmate @dinosaursmate

Main Pairing: Harry/Louis | Rating: Explicit

Words: 52,085 | Published: August 3, 2017

Tags: Tumblr AU, Photography, Smut, Body Worship, Slow Burn (sort of)

Summary: Green reblogged an old photo of himself. It was from back in October, a Halloween special. A pulse shot all the way through Louis because this photo was his absolute favourite, and it had taken the rest of the year for him to wean himself off of it. Green was on his knees, arms stretched out in front of him with his fingertips digging into the surface of his bed. He was wearing a pair of cat ears on his head, his curls falling forward. His back was arched, and in the foreground of the picture, Green’s bum was high in the air, a long, black cat tail sitting neatly between his cheeks. OR Louis spends all his spare time scrolling arty nude blogs on Tumblr but amongst them all, Green is his favourite.

Salt And The Appetite by SadaVeniren @sadaveniren

Main Pairing: Harry/Louis | Rating: Explicit

Series: No Control Club Series (Part 1/5)

Words: 14,458 | Published: July 29, 2018

Tags: BDSM, Roleplay, Dom/Sub/Switch, Club Owner Louis, Blogger Harry (check work for further tags)

Summary: No Control is a No From Me | By Harry Styles “I know this is probably a controversial opinion and review because I have only heard great things from people going to No Control before but I cannot recommend it to anyone. While the facility is nice, the people who work there do not seem to care for their clients well being, and I do not feel safe going there in any capacity. I suppose when I want to play next I will have to travel back down to London, or maybe, unfortunately, Liverpool. If I must.” OR Harry, a popular BDSM blogger, writes a negative review about Louis’ club. Louis wants to have a chance to make it up to him.

Woke Up Feeling Knotty by jaerie @jaerie

Main Pairing: Harry/Louis | Rating: Explicit

Words: 7,903 | Published: January 9, 2018

Tags: ABO, Alpha Harry, Beta Louis, Porn Blog, Virgin Louis (check work for further tags)

Summary: Beta Louis has a kink for knotting and the secret aesthetic porn blog he runs about it is more than proof. When he accidentally finds out his alpha best friend Harry is one of his biggest fans, he knows he has to come clean after everything that has already happened between them. Harry just might be willing to help him out anyway.

No One But You Got Me Feeling This Way by runaway_train @runaway-train-works

Main Pairing: Harry/Louis | Rating: Explicit

Words: 3,787 | Published: January 5, 2019

Tags: Cam Boy Louis, Student Harry, Porn With Plot.

Summary: Harry is well aware he should be studying or watching T.V or cleaning the kitchen or doing literally anything from a list as long as his arm instead of this, but he is. The list of reasons why he shouldn’t be doing this is probably at least double that, but here he most definitely is. He’s sitting on his bed, legs straight out in front of him, back propped up against the headboard and some fluffed-up pillows and his MacBook is resting on his thighs. His jittery fingers drum lightly on the edge of the keyboard as he stares at the tiny digital clock in the top right-hand corner of the screen, willing the seconds to tick by faster. He wants to get into this and get it over with in equal measures. OR The one where Harry has a particular desire that only Louis can fulfill.

**If you read and enjoy any of these fics, please remember to leave a nice comment, kudos, and reblog the author’s Tumblr fic posts where available.**

[threadsketchier]

storytime: I almost quit my job to write fic

haha u see what i did there it’s kind of a pun get it

Not exactly clickbait-y, it’s literally what it says on the tin.  This past Wednesday I was a gross, undignified sobbing mess in my bi-weekly meeting with my boss and I flat out said I’d turn in my last month’s notice on Friday.  I didn’t have another job lined up, I just wanted to run away and have about a month of freedom to actually write.  My two week vacation wasn’t enough time to get around to that because it was taken up by IRL stuff that my job makes difficult to do either because of lack of time or lack of spoons to do it.  (Frankly I wanted to vegetate a lot from being drained by the sheer insanity of work as of late, plus my monthly frenemy showed up and made me feel borderline flu-like the second week.)

But it hit me that night that this was just another flare-up in a long string of events all the way back to childhood from my notoriously poor decision-making capabilities.  I’m impulsive and nearly every choice I’ve made in life is The Worst™ with no good or helpful outcome.  However horrid it is, I was going to throw away a viable job - the only job in this shitty wage-starved area that will pay me this much without a college degree - and put not only myself but my mother in financial jeopardy for the sake of being able to write fic...for a limited time anyway.  Then I’d be all stressed out again once I’d have to get up off my ass and find another job, and then worry about how the hell to pay all the bills at a steep pay cut.

(TBH, it’s like 50/50 about the free time issue but also just the toxicity of the job itself, the crushing sense of futility that things will never improve because of others’ incompetence and laziness and the company’s relentless drive to keep expanding and becoming more and more of a Corporation™ that will soon own my ass around the clock but I digress)

I’m almost 34 years old, and I barely opened a savings account for the first time in my life.  Pathetically tiny, but I have one now.  And I was stupidly going to give up on that immediately just to be a faaaaaaanguuuuuuuurl.  And, and, selfishly, it also feels really nice to be able to buy more fun shit now and not be broke constantly?

So I chickened out and despite knowing how idiotic it made me look, I typed up a brief note to my boss and took back what I’d told her and said, “ok, this officially means I can’t bitch about this anymore because you’re my boss, not my therapist, and it’s unprofessional” and asked her to pretend nothing happened, and that was that.  (Bless my boss, at least I’m lucky to have this understanding bish; I’m sure she thinks I’m nuts now but she’s cool enough to not say anything about it)

Once again I’ve haven’t been on this hellsite all last week because once I miss one day, I know I won’t be able to catch up in a couple of hours on a weeknight evening.  And I’m at the same crossroads again of do I want to just keep being a passive lump of fandom consumption and drowning my sorrows as I scroll forever or give up on this place entirely so that I have a sliver of a hope of getting back to writing.  Not being on here for another week makes it really easy/tempting to make a clean break.

I don��t mean delete or completely disappear - because the point would be to eventually and occasionally produce SOME content - but to pull a fialleril and vanish for long periods of time and only briefly emerge from the depths to post something.  It’ll feel hollow because I have no idea what’s going on, I’ll have missed who knows how much quality meta or beautiful artwork or awesome comic scans or hilarious shitposts - aka, I WILL MISS ALL YOU DORKS OUT THERE.  THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT OF BEING HERE.  I’ll feel like I’m just shouting into the void.  But it’s the only way I’d maybe get anything done.  (Still a big Maybe™.)

I’ve seen countless posts about “writers are never obligated to finish stuff” and that’s fine, yes, I agree - but for me personally, I DO feel obligated because I made the choice to start posting.  I got people invested in that shit.  I feel that I do owe it to them to at least try to finish what they started reading.  (This is why I rage-quit a few years back and deleted all my fics off AO3 and the JCF boards, because I have this all-or-nothing attitude about it.)  It’s not just fic content either, I’d love to make other stuff.

I’m just.  Tired™.  Of having my leisure time on such a tight schedule, that Adulting™ is squeezing the life out of my creativity and making existence feel so pointless and futile.  So I guess this is goodbye, of a sorts?  For anyone here who gives a flip?  I’ll say it again - if you peeps of mine see some bomb-ass posts you know I’d love, please feel free to tag me in them so at least I can glance at them in my email or go skim them on AO3.  You have no idea how much the FOMO crushes my soul.  It’ll take a long time for me to feel numb about that.

[charlieism]

2017 Fic List

These are all the fanfics that I wrote and posted this year! I hope if you decide to read any that you like them :)

Fluff:

Polyamsanders / Platonic

Snowballs and Sweaters  (2918 words)

Roman, Patton, Virgil and Logan celebrate Christmas together.

Loved (1085 words)

Its late at night, Logic is tired and gets cuddled by his boyfriends.

Soothing (Platonic, or anyone with Virgil) (2499 words)

In which each side discovers that Anxiety likes having his hair played with.

Numbers Do Justice (453 words) (Based off artwork)

Prince and Anxiety can't sit in silence together for too long, Anxiety has to offend Roman somehow!

Reflexes (926 words)

“Luck?” “Nope. Skill.” “If it was skill then do it again.”

Logicality

Golden Mornings (844 words)

Waking up to a golden morning

Kiss It Better (925 words)

Logan is sick and Patton is a good boyfriend.

Carnival (1349 words)

Logan takes Patton to a carnival.

Friendship Bracelets (959 words)

"Well, since you're my best friend, I wanted to give you something to remember that we're good friends? So... I made us friendship bracelets." Morality rushed bashfully, thrusting his hands out and revealing to Logan the surprise.

Surprisingly Nice (687 words)

Cuddling is a surprisingly nice activity, Logic has found.

Prinxiety

Of Ink Stains and Love Notes (5194 words)

Everyone has a soulmate. Almost everyone finds their soulmate and forms a relationship with them, be it romantic or platonic. Some people have the link, an anomaly in which anything that is written, drawn, or doodled onto one person's skin will appear on their soulmate's skin, in the exact same place. Roman has the link. Or at least, he likes to believe he does.

Thunderstorms (877 words)

Anxiety hates thunderstorms, but he doesn't have to suffer through them alone anymore.

Holding Hands (3764 words)

Everyone ships it. The fans, the viewers, Patton, even Logic. Prince and Anxiety won't ever get together, Anxiety knows this. There's literally no way ever. Even though everyone ships it. Prince and Anxiety are rivals, they don't like each other! Anxiety would never even think about befriending Prince. Just because it's a certain holiday with everyone telling them to get together doesn't mean anything's going to change.

Colour (880 words)

Anxiety has always associated people with colours. Roman is red.

Kitten (304 words)

"What's behind your back?"

Eyeshadow (2045 words)

“Ugh, you cannot take a hint.” He grumbled, making Anxiety frown in confusion. “Fine. I want you to do my eyeshadow.” Roman muttered.

Angst:

Happy Ending

Fake Smiles and False Confidence (Roman-centric) (4128 words)

Prince always brought up self love and saving himself because he knew he didn’t. Roman didn’t love himself, he hated himself, and he wanted to change that but he didn’t know how. His quest to save himself, to love himself, was taking so long and it wasn’t working at all, no matter how many fake smiles he shone and how much false confidence he oozed.

Apologies (Patton & Logan-centric) (2433 words)

“Logan?” He called cautiously. Silence followed. “Logan, I know you’re in your room. But I’m not going to come in if you don’t want me to, I know I upset you. And I just need you to know…” Patton exhaled shakily. “I’m sorry.”

Bottled Up Emotions (Logan-centric) (Written with an addition from @softbludemon)

Every time Logan represses a feeling, a bottled up emotion appears on a shelf. One day, the shelf breaks.

Love Is Stronger (Virgil-centric) (Prinxiety) (2064 words)

Ella Enchanted AU

The room, it was beautiful. Anxiety's fingers were linked with Roman's, and he couldn't pull them free, but he wanted to. He wanted to run away. Far away, away from Roman. Roman, who was tugging him through the door, into the Room of Mirrors. A room of beautiful mirrors and vines, of flowers and shining reflections, a room of memories and tradition and love. A room that would soon be where Prince died.

Just A Joke (Roman & Virgil-centric) (277 words)

Anxiety is scared of spiders. Prince regrets it.

Unhappy Ending

Untouchable (Virgil-centric) (347 words)

They thought me untouchable, but you swept me off my feet a lifetime ago and never quite put me down. Of course I was out of their reach.

Torn (Focuses on every side) (3603 words)

Tears dampened pillows and blankets, stained cheeks and rimmed eyes with scarlet red. Sobs shook each trait's body, pulling choked cries from aching throats and burning lungs. Each person sought comfort, searched desperately for a way to appease the hurt clawing at them from the inside out, only to find cold, unyielding isolation.

His Name (Logan-centric) (505 words)

Why did everybody else get reveal their names on their own? Why wasn’t he… why wasn’t he important enough to do that? Liked enough? Good enough? Why was he getting so upset over this, he was being unreasonable, it’s stupid, he should definitely not have tears in his eyes over such a trivial matter.

Against The Wall (Patton-centric) (1121 words) (A collab with @softbludemon​!)

The wall that split them off, kept them alone and away from one another. Left them confined to their own rooms, to single-handedly be the characteristic they’re supposed to embody. To do all that work with zero help… zero support… zero love.

Without Us (Patton-centric) (613 words)

“No! I won’t do what you say any longer! It’s not all up to you, I’m important too, you don’t know everything, I’m here for a reason!” Patton yelled, chest heaving as he blinked back tears of fury. 

Chapter fics: (AO3) 

(aka my first sanders sides fics, jeez)

Opposites Attract (Prinxiety) (16172 words)

The one where everyone thinks Prince and Anxiety hate each other, but truthfully they really, really don't. Sure, they argue about pretty much everything, but what do people always say? Opposites Attract!

(Logically Speaking) Opposites Attract  (Logicality, Prinxiety) (12595 words) (Sequel to Opposites Attract) 

Prince and Anxiety are a couple. Misleading Compliment and Pranks are best friends. So who's left? Morality and Logic, of course. 

Logic still attempts to ignore Dad, and often tries to push him away. In Logic's opinion, Dad just has too many feelings; they overflow out of him and splash onto everyone else, making them experience emotions as well. Ugh, feelings. The bane of Logan's existence.

They're even more of a problem when he starts experiencing...Something that he can't explain, whenever he looks at Morality. They are abnormal, peculiar, unorthodox... feelings and emotions. What do they mean, and what is Logic supposed to do about them?

Other Rambled Writing

Essentially where I write, outline, plan, theorise or come up with a story but it’s in tumblr text post format lol, inspired and based off anons that I get sent

Roman’s arc and room

Logan’s arc and room

Virgil believing in Santa

Roman’s Halloween costumes

When Thomas gets butterflies in his stomach, Virgil hiccups butterflies.

There we go! They’re all the fics that i have fully posted and have been able to hunt down lol i hope you like some of them?? (rereading some of my older ones was an Experience for myself lmao, and i’m not even sure if this is all the fics, i used to suck at tagging oml.)

[hidden-otaku-stuff]

(1) Hello I am back!! I'm sorry it's been long, these past couple of weeks have had me swamped with homework :( and yet I still didn't do it all 🤡 also get ready for a bunch of messages because 1.) responses and 2.) my thoughts on Lockscreens. Spoiler: I am Emotional haha. Aww, thank you :') I used to think it was weird to give yourselves nicknames but I'm past that now haha. Another one I go by sometimes is "Lizard" because I stick my tongue out a lot when I'm talking??

(2) and people think I'm cold blooded because I get really cold easily and like to bask in the sun. I mostly just did traditonal sketches and a lot of screencap redraws. I want to get into art again, but I'm taking it slow for now and focusing more on my writing. And I feel that too LOL. I'm going to start a blog dedicated to reblogging x reader fics that I like because I'm too embarrassed to do so on my main blog (I tell all of your followers 🤡)

hey Honeymoon! as long as you’re taking care of yourself, that’s all I care about 💞 i’m gonna post my responses into two parts. a Lockscreens segment after you send in the rest of your thoughts and a get-to-know-you part for now!

(also I’M FROM CA TOO AND WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU SENDING ME MESSAGES AT 3AM OML)

ngl, i feel like the best person to give you a nickname is yourself! i jokingly gave myself the nickname ‘Daddy’ and that’s literally become my “rave” personality LMAO. but i can understand why some people think it’s weird 🤷 honestly lizard is a bad-ass nickname !! i’m the same way - being in the cold makes me sooo sleepy and i’d rather bask in the sun 😂

i’d love to see your artwork or writing sometime! please feel free to send it over 🥰

(3) Honestly even with all my issues it's kind of nice being a hopeless romantic! Like you said it gives me the chance to day dream haha. Maybe I have my head in the clouds a lot but sometimes it's nice to be there. There's so many, but I think it's a tie between enemies to lovers and friends to lovers. I love the drama and comedy from the former but I'm so Soft for the latter, and that's highkey how I want my relationship to start.

(4) I think building that bond with someone before you even start dating them is really sweet, and having that connection by the time you commit to each other is 💓 I'm sorry you've been having writers block, that's the worst :( if it helps, the past two chapters have turned out amazing, I love them so much!! I think the closest I got to hardcore shipping something that wasn't canon was RinHaru? But there was also a lot of tension and affection in their relationship so I could see it being canon

there’s nothing wrong with having dreams! just so long as you can ground yourself at the end of the day. 

enemies to lovers is always the funniest for me to read TBH. because it’s such an inevitable cliche haha. friends to lovers though -- oooo my heart. 

the best relationships start with friendship. it’s the most authentic imo. like for me, it’s exhausting bearing my heart open to new people each time i want to get involved with someone romantically. but having someone who already knows you inside out??? swoon. what about a trope you dislike?

ah tyty, i’m glad you enjoyed them! the writers’ block wasn’t too bad for these chapters. i’ve had them typed up for a few weeks now :’) 

rinharu is so cute though! but Harukoto (or whatever the ship name is tbh) is super cute too. but maybe i just really like the best friend to lovers trope LMAO

(5) I just looked at their insta and !!!!!!!!!! that's so cute! I like bokuaka but I've never looked into it as much as others, but their art made me have Feelings lol. I think that is a good view to have on family tbh. I've developed a relationship with my blood family and we're close, but there's something special about the relationships and love you have for people you choose to stay with. I love Tiana!! I think she's a really underrated Disney character :(

(6) She really encompasses Disney's message of working hard to achieve your dreams, and she's a strong, independent woman without being closed off and rejecting her feelings. I think it's so cute and cool that she had that much of an impact on you :D Oof, I get that 💀. Men are gross 🤢 I don't get it very often because I live in SoCal and tbh to a lot of other people brown just equals mexican lol. They're right but I really don't look full mexican. Portuguese and Islander people can tell though

bokuaka art makes me have ~ feelings ~ i also really like @/liann1009 and @/maddox_rider on IG! (tbh idk if they have a tumblr whoops) liann1009 does a lot of OiHina whereas maddox_rider does bokuaka which is ridiculously cute too 🥰 

DUDE OMG YES!!! Tiana and Kita (from Atlantis) are under-rated QUEENS who deserved better!! we need representation out here in this b*tch!!! 

idek why, but some people think i look hispanic 🙃 but yes bby, men are gross and should be better!! i have yet to meet a man who deserves to stand on equal ground to me, imma be real. (2d men don’t count but y’know). does it bother you when people mistake your ethnicity? 

(7) Thank you!! Ngl it's kind of scary wondering about what the industry is going to be like because I'm sure I will run into a lot of biased people and sources, but learning to navigate that is just part of the job. Of course there's people who will read biased sources and attack you too, but you can't always escape those people :/ and thank you love, you're so sweet 💕 That's really admirable! It takes a lot of work and creativity to start a business, I'm sure you'll be successful 😊

(8) what kind were you thinking of? and psych is super cool too! Having that understanding of people and the world can be really eye opening and fun :D It's okay, he was one of my favorite teachers but looking back he was an asshole. He had his good/funny moments and did a lot for me, but he also abused some of editors in my journalism class, and some friends of mine :/ He wouldn't appreciate their work, sometimes insult them, and even encouraged my friend to not sleep for the sake of the paper

i’m positive that you’ll do just fine once you get out there! it seems like you have a pretty thick skin :) 

i really wanted to open a business to help support under-represented groups receive an education - with major focus on minority groups such as orphans/foster children, veterans, and the homeless. there’s so much logistics that tbh i’m too ~stressed~ to think about so i’m tabling that for awhile :’) 

bruhhh fuck that teacher. drop his addy, i just wanna talk real q 💞   if you can’t support all of your students, then there is no point in being a professor!! there is literally 0 reason to be rude when you’re in a position of power, especially when it involves someone’s passion, career, and/or education.

(9) I just remembered that there's a limit to how many asks you can send in a certain amount of time so if these suddenly stop I'm sorry! I'll come back when I can haha. I wouldn't say I'm all that great tbh, but I'm proud of a lot of my works LOL. My favorite part about it is using makeup and tools to just turn into something else. Wounds are always fun, but making yourself a gargoyle or some other creature is what makes it so interesting to me.

(11) I'm OBSESSED with the makeup and costumes from LOTR. It's my biggest inspiration. I can go on about it haha. That's so cool!! Being a part of the whole production, especially all sides to it, sounds so fun. Do you have any favorite memories from your time in high school? I'd love to hear them if you have any :O Confession: I have never seen any of those asdfkljvk. I know I really should though and it's on my to do list ! I've heard really great things about all of them !

imma be real, i didnt know there was a limits on asks LMAO. i did hear that they sometimes get eaten though, so i really hope that doesn’t happen 😅 

we all start somewhere. your first step will never look like someone else’s, nor should it. as long as it’s something that you can look back upon and be proud of and know that you’ve grown from, that’s all that matters! 

just imagining someone using makeup to turn themselves into a gargoyle has my head spinning  🤣 like ya girl can barely do her eye-makeup, let alone anything as intense as that! what’s been the most difficult project? 

DUDE, I LOVE MEDIEVAL-HISTORICAL WORKS! like the dresses from that Mary from Reign wears has my heart so softtttt. dfsnosdf. please!! tell me some of your fav things about LOTR  💖

omg high-school was so long ago, i don’t think i have any favorite memories from it 🙃 i think the opening night of a production would be the best. listening to the audiences reactions as the performers left their hearts on-stage, seeing all the pieces fall together, that was always absolutely incredible. wbu, what did you enjoy about hs? 

i have very strong opinions on those musicals LMAO. i can talk about them forever  🤩

[freedomseeker91]

In Light Of Recent Events....

I feel it necessary to remind people to retain a sense of decorum.

It has been public knowledge for a while now that two new male characters would be joining the Pitch Perfect fandom, and that those two male characters would be somehow linked to Beca and Chloe.

While Kendrick has more or less shot down the idea that Beca would gain a new love interest, Brittany has pretty much confirmed what many of us have known since before PP3 began filming. That Chicago is someone Chloe will have her eye on.

Now, the word love interest is an interesting sentiment in and of itself because, it doesn’t necessarily relate to a relationship. A love interest can be someone who catches someone’s eye briefly before fading into the background. As is often the case in tv dramas, and the same can be true for movies too.

While I don’t know the ins and outs of the latest plot or how Chloe’s new storyline will unfold, what I will say is, don’t jump the gun.

A lot of people are getting very worked up already from two words that literally could lead to anything, including a relationship/plot line that goes nowhere.

We’ve always known that Bechloe was never going to be canon, because they were never written to be anything more than friends. And because large corporate studios won’t risk “rocking the boat” at the expense of potentially losing dollars.

But here’s the thing, Kendrick and Britt have acknowledged Bechloe and neither has said they would be against the idea, which for me is a win in itself, because that’s something the studios can never take away from us.

They have been incredibly supportive and engaging when it comes to it and for that reason, I beg of all of you who are currently battling some internal rage, please, be grateful for what we have been given and let whatever happens, happen without any animosity or negativity.

Neither Snow, nor Kendrick have any real control or say over the script, they can only act out what is on the page and promote whatever the end product turns out to be.

Please don’t attack them or bombard them with posts condemning them for something that isn’t their fault or begging them to somehow find the power to change what they have no power over.

Just embrace whatever PP3 turns out to be and let go of whatever animosity you feel, because if we’ve learned anything from what’s going on in the world around us right now, being loud and aggressive and applying pressure and bullying like behaviour, will only serve to be your downfall in the end.

I don’t want the cast or anyone involved with the franchise to begin to resent this fandom, I especially don’t want people to continue to further tarnish this ship in the eyes of other shippers.

If you don’t want to see this movie for whatever reason, then don’t go, but don’t try and turn it into a boycott because that strategy in itself is an insult to the ladies you claim to support.

They have worked really hard on this movie and don’t deserve to have their hard work shoved back in their faces because people are feeling petty or have had their feelings hurt.

If you don’t want to see this movie because the plot doesn’t appeal to you or because you don’t think it will live up to expectations, fine, everyone is entitled to their opinion. But don’t try and instigate a boycott as some sort of revenge attack against the studio.

Because at the end of the day, if you attack the studio, you attack all those whose names are attached to the project and that includes Kendrick, Brittany and the rest of the Bella’s.

So please, I beg of you, calm down, take a step back and just let sleeping dogs lie, because at the end of the day, Bechloe was never canon before, and fans still managed to create an entire body of work (fics, gifs, artwork etc) from very little, all while Beca was in a relationship with a male character.

The ship will continue to live on, as long as fans continue to create their own universe where anything is possible. It didn’t stop the fandom before why should this be any different.

[moreracquetball]

Would I be able to commission you for writing works? Like pay you to write fics? If not that's totally fine but I want you to know that your work is amazing and I would absolutely pay to read it or get my own story written by you, it'd be a privilege, honestly.

Wow, I’m honored! The fact that you think my writing is good enough to be paid for is so flattering and overwhelming!!

To answer your question: no. But I have reasons.

Of course, there’s a irl reason why not (I don’t have a paypal, and I can’t really go up to my mom like “heyyy can i have your permission to enter my debit/credit info for a paypal so strangers from the internet can pay me for services?” like - that would not go over well, and it’d just be added stress for me even if I went and got one anyway without telling her because I would always be scared she’d ask me “where did you get this money” since I don’t have a job). It would be weird and awkward and stressful because it’d have to be a “secret” from my family and friends, and it’s fine that my writing is a secret because that doesn’t intersect with real life but a sudden burst in money might be questioned and it would make me extra paranoid and uncomfortable.

There’s also much bigger reasons that might seem really pretentious, eye-roll-y of me but it’s the truth:

1) I don’t want this to be a job. For my circumstances right now, in the headspace that I am in, at this point in time: writing is a coping mechanism for me when I am feeling sad/distressed/stressed/anxious. It is a coping mechanism because it just wholly belongs to me and there are no strings attached to it and what I write/when I write/how much I write is always up to me (with the exception of the writing raffle I’m doing, but that is just an isolated, learning experience for me as a writer in order to see if I would ever be able to meet someone else’s instructions/prompt on a deadline). Writing is very personal to me (esp right now), and if I make it a commodity up to the highest bidder, that personal, stress-free experience would be taken from me. Because then I would have customers to please and expectations to uphold and deadlines to meet and prompts that are fine but not exactly my taste, and writing would not be a coping mechanism anymore and rather just another source of stress. 

2) Also, I want my writing to be free for everyone, you know? I don’t want there to be a “premium package” of my writing or a “if you want to be a super fan of me and want a prompt filled, you have to pay because my writing is so great and not for free” air to myself. I don’t want my writing to turn into a commodity where I only fill prompts for the fans who have money because it alienates the fans that want that connection and in-put to the fandom but don’t have anything to “give me” in return. It would create a hierarchy within the community and it’d intimidate people that want a prompt filled but don’t have the money to pay me, which would then lead to them just not requesting/asking. I don’t want to elevate myself to a point where I am more than just a fan of a musical, that I am somehow “better” than any other writer in this or any fandom who just accepts prompts without payment. I just feel like it would really isolate me from others and would make me seem even more intimidating. It would really disconnect me from the general fan experience of sharing work and inspiration. 

To put it all simply: I don’t want my participation in this fandom to become a business.

So I really appreciate the request because it was very polite and flattering, but commissions just don’t interest me at this moment in time. I am not financial unstable for that money to be in dire need, and I just feel like commissions would do more harm than good in my own personal experience and point of view. I’m not saying that commissions are inherently selfish and evil: It’s more than fine and absolutely incredible that other creators (writers, artists, etc) do commissions. I think that it is really great that people are getting paid to do things that they love and had been willing to do for free. Maybe one day, I myself will want to do commissions as well - but not today.

But anon: if you want a prompt filled, literally just send me an ask with a prompt. I can’t guarantee that I will accept it or will make it as long as you want it or have it finished in a timely manner (these are all just examples of worst-case scenarios - I’m usually pretty punctual and efficient with this kind of stuff), but I will try to give it a shot at the very least. I actually love requests and I love filling prompts and I love making other fans happy and excited about a musical/characters that I am also very happy and excited about. No payment required - just ask me.

But say, what if you just want to support me, you know? Well, there are other ways that you can support any creator that doesn’t include financial payment:

- Feedback!! Reviews, direct messages, asks - just tell the creator how much you liked that thing that they did and be as specific as possible. It takes little out of your day to tell a creator how much you enjoyed their stuff, and even if your compliments are short and offhanded, they always mean the world to that creator. Simple rule: if you like the thing, tell the creator. I myself read every single review of my fics (usually re-read them more than twice, tbh), and they always mean so much. There are never “too many” reviews to a thing - I don’t care if that thing already has 999 reviews/comments/kudos/asks. You should still write at least a little short review thanking that creator for creating something that you have enjoyed. 

- Spread it, share it, tell others about it. You like the thing? Hey, you should tell others how much you like this thing and give it to them so they can also read/see/listen/watch this thing and appreciate it as well. Make posts about it, link it to friends - just let other people have knowledge and access to it so that creator’s work can continue to grow.

- Take inspiration from that creator’s work and create something of your own. It can be a graphic, an edit, an artwork, a mood board, an aesthetic, a playlist, a song, a poem, a video, a fic - just create something inspired by that creator’s something and tag/send it to them. I know from experience that receiving fan art that it is such an incredible feeling to see someone else be inspired and appreciative of something you created! It is sooo flattering and overwhelming, and creators like this shit a lot.

This was wayyyy too long of a response for such a simple, polite question but I just wanted to make my stance clear and my reasons sound and my points well-articulated. Thanks so much for this ask, and I hope you have a wonderful day!

[acespnminibang]

2016-17 Masterpost

Wow, my bad. Forgot to post a masterpost of all the stories for this year!

Below the cut is the full masterpost for the 2016-17 round of the Asexual Supernatural Mini Bang. Work includes Destiel, Sabriel, Wincest, Lucifer/Michael, ace!Cas, ace!Dean, ace!Sam, demi!Sam, demi!Dean, polyamorous relationships, canon-fic, AUs, and more!

You can also check out our ASMB collection on AO3.

An Ace Up Your Sleeve

Author:  ayyysexual (cynder713 on AO3) Artist: kuwlshadow Rating: M Pairing(s): pre-slash Dean/Cas Warning(s): (apparent) mind control, canon-typical violence Word Count: 7270 Summary: Cas, determined to prove that he can take the lead on a hunt, brings a case to the boys. It’s a siren, of course it’s a siren, and despite Dean’s protests they take it, with Cas offering to play the bait. Author Notes: Thanks to weasleychick32 for betaing for me, and for catching all my weird Aussie slang that I didn’t even realise was slang. This fic is infinitely better because of you! All remaining mistakes are mine, naturally.

And a huge thankyou to kuwlshadow for the amazing art! You picked such a good moment to bring to life and I’m just so honoured to have such lovely art be drawn for my little fic! Artist Notes: ��Thanks to Ayyysexual for the writing the awesome story and glad I was able to provide the artwork for it. :)  It was a pleasure to do so. Links to fic and art: Fic: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10899768 Art:  http://kuwlshadow.tumblr.com/post/160637136603/title-an-ace-up-your-sleeve-author   http://kuwlshadow.livejournal.com/82147.html

Come and see

Author: mariaghost Artist: lux-tuli Rating: T Pairing(s): Lucifer/Michael Warning(s): disturbing imagery, smoking Word Count: 6977 Summary: Mikhail is happy to simply live his life, teach ancient languages at the University for ridiculous salary, play with his cat and have small talks with his flatmate. Demons, hellhounds and four horsemen of Apocalypse are only part of the scenery. Link to fic: [x] Link to art: [x]

Of Fake Boyfriends and Bad Pick-Up Lines

Author: weasleychick32 Artist: deadpoolspdickwarmer Rating: Teen and Up Pairing(s): Gabriel/Sam Winchester; Castiel/Dean Winchester; past Sam/Jess Warning(s): Gross desecration of perfectly good Chinese food (mentioned); Word Count: 34k Summary: Sam is sick and tired of Dean and Cas being nauseatingly lovey-dovey and having sex literally everywhere. In the name of revenge, he comes up with a plot to 1) Fake date the only person who can consistently and without fail get under Dean’s skin and 2) Obnoxiously flaunt the relationship in his face every chance he gets. He pitches the plan to Gabriel (who else could be up for the task?) and between one blink and the next everything has spiraled out of control; One dinner date turns into dozens and, what the hell? They aren’t even double dates anymore, they’re just… dates.

How did this happen? More importantly, why hasn’t Sam put a stop to it? As the weeks pass, his list of Reasons Sam+Gabe Could Never Ever Not-In-This-Lifetime Ever Work grows larger and so does his unwillingness to put a stop to their prank.

It is still a prank… Right?

Author Notes: While this is technically the sequel to Of Notecards and Bad Pick-Up Lines (a strictly destiel get-together fic) it can easily be read as a stand-alone.

Link to fic Link to art

From Two Different Worlds

Author: lux-tuli Artist: emmatheslayer Rating: Mature Pairing(s): Lucifer/Michael Warning(s): non-penetrative sexual content Word Count: 5,084 Summary: [AU] The Darkness is unleashed from its prison and a truce is proposed between Heaven and Hell in order to defeat Amara. The only problem is that the truce entails that Lucifer must wed his older brother Michael to solidify the alliance, which would be fine and dandy if he wasn’t asexual. Link to fic: [x] Link to art: [x]

Craigslist For The Holidays

Author: Lasafara Artist: Thette (bold-sartorial-statement) Rating: PG-13 Pairing(s): Castiel/Dean Winchester (main), lots of side pairings Warning(s): acephobia, homophobia, mentions of past child abuse, horrible family, religious intolerance, ableism, neurotypicalism, asexual!Cas, bisexual!Dean, happy ending Word Count: 10216 Summary: Castiel Novak has been attempting to avoid his family for years, but the holidays are coming, and he’s expecting to make an appearance at his family’s Thanksgiving dinner. When he finds a Craigslist ad that suggests that the poster will come to his family’s dinner and be an awful houseguest under the guise of being his boyfriend, Castiel thinks that perhaps he will have a way to avoid further family gatherings Dean Winchester seems like an answer to his hopes. But that’s before everything goes horribly horribly wrong. Or maybe… Maybe they go just perfectly. Author Notes: This is, ultimately, the story of a man confronting his manipulative, abusive family. Be warned. It was super cathartic to write, but it may be difficult for others to read. Also, thanks so much to my beta, @stupidbadgers and my artist @bold-sartorial-statement ! Link to Fic: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10938474/chapters/24337317 Link to Art: http://imgur.com/KBhTSQZ and http://imgur.com/AbjsCd7

Our Hearts’ Desires

Author: acme146 Artist: cenedrariva Rating: T Pairing(s): Dean Winchester/Castiel (queerplatonic), Sam Winchester/Eileen Leahy, Jody Mills/Donna Hanscum (background), past Bobby Singer/Karen Singer, past Sam Winchester/Jessica Moore Warning(s): None Applicable  Word Count: 5,136 Summary: Dean Winchester will never fall in love. Castiel will never feel desire. Profound bonds, after all, tie people together in many different ways, and no one needs to be lonely.  Author Notes: This is a wonderful Bang to be a part of, I’m glad I had an opportunity to take part. Thanks to cenedrariva for being both my artist and my beta.  Links to fic and art:

fic: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10946733/chapters/24360450

art: http://cenedrariva.tumblr.com/post/160846389621/our-hearts-desires-by-acme146-dean-winchester

As Good as it Gets

Author: JhanaMay Artist: Kris Rating: Mature Pairing(s): Castiel/Dean Winchester Warning(s): None Word Count: 19,827 Summary: It’s been three months since Dean’s strange relationship with his next door neighbor changed yet again. It isn’t what most people would consider normal, but nothing about them really is. While Dean is happier than he’s ever been, he’s ready to take the next step beyond chaste make-out sessions and platonic cuddling. Courting Castiel hasn’t exactly been easy, so Dean shouldn’t be surprised when their physical relationship hits a few speed bumps.

Link to Fic: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10954626

Link to Art: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10952856

The fallen and the burdened

Author: redheadandslytherin Artist: lux-tuli Rating: Teen an Up Pairing(s): Sam Winchester/Gabriel Warning(s): major character death, violence Word Count: 5171 Summary: After the Burning of the Dolls, the city of New Albion became a police state. The strict regulations are enforced by the Blood Red Dogs, a military group that does not fear pain and does not have any qualms about handing it out. In this harsh time, Sam hides away in the old family home, hiding a Doll, Gabriel, in the attic. As they try to get by without the Dogs finding out about Gabriel, Sam wonders if there is a future for them in New Albion. Author Notes: AU of Paul Shapera’s Dolls of New Albion Artist Notes: art coming soon Links to fic and art: FIC ART

Brutal Honesty

Author: nomercles Artist: emmatheslayer Rating: R Pairing: none (past Sam/Dean) Warning(s): brief discussion of noncon, dissociation, unreliable narrator Word Count: 7365 Summary: Set during 1.10, “Asylum”.  Dr. Ellicott’s “rage therapy” has a few side-effects.  The Winchesters are men of action, but they know words will do just as much damage.  This time they’re going to say all the things they’re thinking, whether they want to or not.

Links to fic and art: emmatheslayer’s art  nomercles’ fic

The Big Picture

Author: Dean-broken-winchester Artist: NarretTwist Rating: General (all audiences) Pairing(s): Dean Winchester/ Castiel Novak, mentioned Megstiel Warning(s): Noncon kiss (mentioned) Word Count: 10,099 Summary: Castiel Novak is a freshman photography student attending one of the  trendiest arts colleges of the year, seeking out new experiences he’s only ever heard about through others. When he meets his new roommate, a body painter infamous for breaking the hearts of numerous partners, he quickly finds that their relationship is to be anything but what he expected. Links to fic and art:

Fic: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10983489/chapters/24459696

Art: https://narrettwist-art.tumblr.com/post/160995311638/the-bigger-picture-story-by

A Measure of Honor

Author: orange_8_hands // oranges8hands Artist: Cenedra Riva Rating: PG-13 Pairing(s): Gen (Emma & Kevin; minor: Josephine/Krissy, Kevin/Channing) Warning(s): ritual suicide, suicidal thoughts, past patricide (aka dead!Dean) Word Count: ~16k Summary: Emma’s spent the last seven years on a random outpost at the edge of the Federation, doing work no one else can for Starfleet as she serves out her punishment. When a routine supply drop-off by The Hunter turns into anything but, Emma must decide just how she wants to restore her honor in the face of overwhelming odds.  [Star Trek AU]

Links: Link to Fic at Ao3; Link to Art on Tumblr

The Search for Paradise

Author: HiddenViolet Artist: Kuwlshadow Rating: general audiences Pairing(s): Castiel/Dean Winchestor Warning(s): None Word Count: 5081 Summary: Castiel and Dean are progressing in their relationship, but trouble in the form of Sam and Crowley looms on the horizon. Everything is going to be fine though. Because of Bobby. Like usual.

This is a continuation of last years story. It has Dean and Castiel exploring their new relationship and life. Dean is ace specifically and it is implied that Castiel is as well, though never outright mentioned.

Links to fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11000073

and art: Tumblr: http://kuwlshadow.tumblr.com/post/161047223428/title-the-search-for-paradise-author LJ:  http://kuwlshadow.livejournal.com/82971.html

Once a bee learn to fly (is unstoppable)

Author: ifonenight (AO3)/buckybee (tumblr) Artist: Thette (AO3)/bold-sartorial-statement (tumblr) Rating: Mature Pairing(s): Dean Winchester/Castiel Warning(s): // Word Count: 5193 Summary: Cas, ace as they come, hand makes sex toys as a job-slash-hobby, and wears things that make him feel pretty in his spare time. He’s doing well all by himself, but when a client, impalabatmobile-67, asks for a special tutorial, Cas will find himself intrigued. Author Notes: I wanted to write a story where Cas didn’t care for sex at all, but still enjoyed some things that society associate with sex. And how he lived it. Hope I managed to. Artist Notes: // Links to fic and art: FIC/ART

Broken World

Author: OhWilloTheWisp Artist: Kuwlshadow Rating: pg-13 Pairing(s): Ruby/Castiel, past Sam/Ruby Warning(s): Ace!Castiel, pregnant!Ruby, brief discussions of sexual feelings and boundaries. Word Count: ~5k Summary: the apocalypse comes and goes leaving Michael and Lucifer trapped in the cage, along with their vessels Sam and Dean. The world is broken and the survivors are left to pick up the pieces. Ruby is pregnant with Sams child and together she and Castiel set off to see what’s left of the world and find there are somethings left saving after all.

Author Notes: I had the great pleasure to work with kuwlshadow again this year as my artist! Like last year she really outdid herself with her art and made the whole process well worth it! I’m in love with the art she provided for my story and I’m honored to be able so post her picture with my story. :)

I had a lot of fun writing this story. I’ve wanted to write something with Cas and Ruby together for sometime and this challenge finally gave me to motivation to follow through. I’m still not entirely happy with it how it came together. I feel like there’s still more I could write in verse. I’ll probably keep coming back to add to this and i already have a sequel planned :)

Artist Notes: I worked with Polleekin previously and was great to work with her again. :) I enjoyed this story just as much as last years story she wrote for this same challenge. Links to fic and art: Lj>|AO3 (coming soon) Art

Extended Family

Author: feartheophanim (TheAuthorGod) Artist: dragonpressgraphics Rating: Teen Audiences (for language) Pairing(s): Castiel/Dean Winchester, Anna Milton/Charlie Bradbury Warning(s): Dean thinks he must be broken for a bit, but he isn’t. Word Count: ~20k Summary: Dean has been uprooted and replanted in so many places, in so many communities, that he wonders what it feels like to truly belong somewhere. When he moves into his family’s newest place, he figures it’s just another pit stop before he’s off to another, however things change when he sees the boy next door and his colors start to come in.

But if Dean’s just starting to see in color, what does that really mean? When people meet their soulmates, all of their colors are supposed to show up. Whatever it is, Dean’s intrigued.

Author Notes: This was so much fun!  I had an amazing beta, ambersagen, who worked quickly and reliably.  I really enjoyed working with dragonpressgraphics.  I couldn’t believe that the art looked so amazing and so true to what I was imagining.  And I can’t wait to do this again next year.

Artist Notes: This bang has been an awesome one all around. As soon as I heard of it, I had to do it and I was lucky enough to snag feartheophanim‘s story. It was a lot of fun working out how we were going to approach the art for this story and how we would tie it all together. Thank you!

Links:  Fic and Art

Lavender and Blue

Author: @cenedrariva Artist: @fvckingcastiel Rating: G Pairing(s): Hannah/Castiel (fake relationship), Castiel/Dean Word Count: 6309 Summary: Hannah had always been rather close to Castiel. Growing up together would do that. They had been neighbours since they were children, when his family moved to her small town from New York. Fast friends, they were close enough to be brother and sister. They shared everything. Hopes. Fears. Joys and despairs too. One thing they had never shared, however, was crushes. Not because they were shy, or anything like that. Simply because neither of them had any.

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[theworldaccordingtodee]

UnPopular Opinion: OUAT Doesn't Owe Me Sh*t (Explained)

If watching and being a fan of OUAT has taught me anything, it's not to expect a damn thing from someone who has no idea about who you are or your life experiences. Tbh, we as POCs or as LGBTQ people can't be mad at Adam and Eddie for being Adam and Eddie. These are two straight White males who created a show from THEIR perspective. The keywords here there are straight and male...I'm also gonna throw in their Whiteness for my fellow POCs. Sure, they lured us in with promises of something new and different, but doesn't every show? Television shows wouldn't exist if they flat out said: "This show is about diversity...except we're gonna given you token POC/LGBTQ characters who are either killed off, are there to further a White character's storyline OR we give them really shitty, really overused tropes" Its their job as showrunners to lie in order to get viewers. Why do you think they've been silent about shit like #OnceUponaRaceFail and those shitty people making accounts to harass Lana, and the CS fandom on Twitter, or the shit with YNB, Shatner, and Leanne? They have made it clear time and time again, they give NO fucks about us. So if they've shown us over and over again that they don't care, we certainly can't expect them to empathize with us, nor can we expect them to magically understand our experiences as POCs, as LGBTQs, or as women and write them accordingly. Hello! These guys had Zelena rape Robin and have his child but claim it wasn't rape. They also let Zelena get away with this AND keep her baby. I used to feel like they owed me something, that they did me wrong, but I really had to sit and think about it: this show was never for me. We as POCs and LGBTQ people often see things in media that are really us just trying to self identify and when what we perceive isn't what happens in reality, it hurts. It doesn't make us wrong or bad people, or any of that other hurtful shit people say, it makes us...humans, searching for our place in the world, searching for acceptance and belonging. I remember learning that shortly before his death, Dr. Martin Luther King had REGRETS about integration. He said something along the lines of "I thought I was doing my people a favor, instead, i bought them into a burning building..." I think that in 2017, we're still trying to run into the burning building, ignoring the smoke and fire. Ironically I'm typing this and I'm excited about the new season of OUAT. No, I take that back, I'm excited about the fact that there will be more POC on the cast than White people. I'm excited about the fact that Lana will more than likely be the female lead-before it was her, JMo, and Ginny. I'm excited that she may be billed first, which, as a WOC, that's an accomplishment in television. I'm excited about the fact that I get another season of this wonderful human being somehow managing to bring life to this really great character. I'm excited because even though my expectations are low, Tiana is FINALLY happening. I'm happy because Henry's LI is a brown skinned Latina woman with an strong accent from the Dominican Republic. Again, I still don't expect anything from this show, but what I will do is celebrate, not for myself, cause Eddie and Adam don't owe me SHIT, but I'm celebrating for the WOC who are doing amazing things. We've had the pleasure of having a Puero Rican woman from Brooklyn sizzle on TV as the Evil Queen. She made the EQ sexy, and human, and sassy, and vulnerable. She stands up for fans and is kind, and good. This show did more for her than it did for pretty much anybody else. You literally CANNOT say OUAT without mentioning Lana Parrilla. I celebrate THAT. I don't have to like or respect OUAT, Eddie Kitsis, or Adam Horowitz, but I watch and cheer on this show to support Lana, and now Gabrielle, Alison, Dania, and Mekia. Because when they win, I win. If you don't agree with me that's cool, but you can't expect two straight White dudes to understand what if feels like to be a POC, LGBTQ, or a woman in the United States of America right now. Also, you'll be hard pressed to find a show that has all of these things and doesn't find a way to fuck it up or isn't cancelled for one reason or another. If you want, expect, or demand more from television then fine, but you can't expect it from Hollywood honesty. That place has been shitty from the start. If you want change, go make it yourself. You fic writers, if you want fics about wlw or polyamory, or POCs go write that shit and self publish it. Post your fics on fanfic.net, on AO3, on WattPad...I can guarantee you people will read it. You have artwork? Sell that shit, people will buy it. You have an idea for a TV show? Write the manuscript, put it on YouTube as a scripted web show, people will watch. Start somewhere, but get your work out there somehow!!! Nobody can create better representation for people who look like you than YOU! That's really all I have to say, this kinda got long and I didn't really know where else to go with it but yeah, all the shit I said...

[prettivol]

scared to be lonely

my paper roses contest submission @v-0-3​ it’s a fic! 

I started this yesterday and im literally screaming b/c I was able to finish it. Inspired completely by the artwork you posted for 4k subscribers. I loved it so much and was craving to write something for it. Thankfully I finally did. 

here is a song to go with it -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvZyp8zMvnI

Story below~

There was an accident a week ago and then Hiro was gone. It’s not as simple as that but Akio still misses him, draws him in places where he would normally be, brings him up in just about every conversation. And this, Yuki is tired of but can tell how bad it must be to have Hiro up and leave, knowing the way he can be. Impulsive, emo to the point it ruins other people's moods (these are Yuki’s words), and a whole lot of self-loathing. Things that Akio could usually balance out with his bright and far more optimistic attitude but it’s must be hard for them to balance each other out when they are separated and have been for over a week.

But now the days are bleak, the sun is often shadowed by rain clouds or a simple overcast sky that leaves a lot to be desired. And Yuki doesn’t know what it is that’s really hurting Akio, even after watching him from afar all week. Even now, as he sits by the window looking out as the sun sets. Waiting, perhaps for Hiro to come back. Probably, for Hiro to come back.  It’s really dramatic and something right out of a drama and if Akio didn’t have amnesia he’d know that Hiro did this often and came back every time but even then he worried. Stupidly, to Yuki anyways.

“Uhm, Aki-” Yuki begins and is cut off when entering Hiro’s room where Akio seems to spend most of his days. He startles at the first vestige of sound making his sketchbook fall off his lap with a loud slap in the otherwise silent room. Apparently he was asleep but Yuki couldn’t tell from the way he was leaning against his hand, his unkempt hair hid his face just too well. “Are you okay?” She tries again, hands pressed nervously against the pleats on her dress. Akio is still blinking sleep away, looking at her, around her but his shoulders fall as if he’s expecting something. Like he has been all week.

Yuki can tell he understood her, from the way his expression shifts, calculating and forming an answer where one begins, he stops himself. And starts again. “I….I’ve been better.” Without even hiding the pain that he’s feeling, he leans over to pick up up the fallen sketch book as Yuki crosses the room, making sure not to let her eyes wander. There are countless paper roses covering Hiro’s bed, she doesn’t know if Akio made them but it’s a lot.

“You, uh, we can talk if you want? Dinner is ready.” This was -- sigh  -- hard. Yelling at Hiro for upsetting Akio was always easier because he didn’t remember some of the crazy stuff Hiro did but it wasn’t like Hiro had any trouble practically recreating those memories, even as going as far as injuring Akio, again. Of course not on purpose, never on purpose. Hiro wasn’t like that.

“How’s your arm?” Yuki tries as they transition to the dining area, Akio is so quiet behind her that she has to turn and look to make sure he’s actually following. The arm held up in a sling is a grim reminder in itself of both things weighing heavily on his mind. One, his wrist is broken...because of Hiro and second, that Hiro is gone.

And some point during this Yuki expects Akio to get fed up with her, tell her to leave him alone and just blow up because everything wasn’t going to be okay and that some things just can’t be fixed. At least that’s what Hiro always did and it would go on like that until Hiro left. But Akio’s voice is soft and level when he answers, the quiver of his voice when he first woke up is gone as if by putting his guard up again that could hide all of the other signs showing that he wasn’t okay.

“It’s fine, thanks.” There is a hint of a smile trying to make it’s way onto his face but funny how even that has become difficult.

In all honesty, Yuki doesn’t entirely know what has shifted between Akio and her brother since Akio’s memory loss. Sure they’re best friends, grew up together but Akio doesn’t remember that and things are the same but very different. And it wasn’t Yuki’s fujoshi side speaking here, it was the calculated, and observing sister who begrudgedly admits that Hiro didn’t try to change anything between them. He wanted to have his relationship with Akio remain as similar to when he remembered they were best friends and that was good of him. But he couldn’t help that something in Akio’s own heart resurfaced or blossomed like rose bud in spring but the familiarity of it all made her think it was the former.

Akio ate, as much as his mood would allow him and Yuki just wanted to slam her face into her bowl the entire time, this was getting really sad. Goddammit Hiro, you’re still being a selfish prick.

Later when washing dishes and putting them away, there is a distant sound of one bedroom door opening and another closing. Yuki can’t tell if it was from Akio leaving his room and going into Hiro’s or the other way around.

❦  ❦  ❦  ❦  ❦

The fourteenth day that Hiro has been gone, it starts tame and quiet. Just as bleak and dreary as the days before. Yuki is outside, just to take a break from the heavy atmosphere of the house. Somehow it’s even seeped outside or perhaps it just clings, heavy and suffocating. Just enough that it’s always on your mind and when you find one spare moment to not think about it you end up being grateful that you’re not thinking about it. But in that same moment of thanks you realize, you’re thinking about it all over again.

“If it’s going to rain just rain, get these gross clouds out of here.” Mumbling on her way back into the house where Akio is disappearing behind a door. They don’t see much of each other lately, Yuki tries. Akio doesn’t. He’s probably drawing again but Yuki can’t imagine there being anything left for him to draw, unless he’s drawing the same thing over and over. The thought alone worries Yuki enough to follow Akio behind said door. It’s quiet when she approaches and maybe he’s fallen asleep again but once at the door she hears it. The faint sound that only resembles paper tearing, it’s fast and frantic almost. Yuki pushes open the door to see Akio huddled over on the floor with his back facing the door and he’s pulling apart the paper roses scattered around the room. Pieces of white are raining down around him, in bits that almost resembles snow. They’re all around him, on him even.

Yuki steps in and her bracelet hits the wood on the door and Akio turns around, face wet with tears. Yuki runs over to kneel besides him, suddenly scared because it’s been this long and she expected him to snap days ago. But he picks up another paper rose from the floor and tears it apart, screaming as he goes.

“He thinks he’s nothing, can’t be good, can’t be anything!” Yuki goes to grab the paper from Akio’s trembling hands but he drops it and picks up another to repeat the process. Worrying Yuki that he’ll do something to his cast, he’s only been without his cast for two days and it’s completely possible for him to make his wrist worse. “He just thinks he’s a monster or something stupid. It’s why he always treats me like im easy to break and tear apart.”

Rip.

“I’m not!”

Rip.

“It’s not fair! I’m not- Ah! What are you-”

“Stop it, Akio!” Yuki has finally had enough and grabs the rose from his hand and sweeps all others around him away, feeling her own tears want to break surface but she blinks them away and helps Akio stand. Giving him a once over she can’t help but be disappointed in herself in letting him get like this, he should at least look better than he feels. She doesn’t have the words to comfort him right now because she knows he just wants Hiro to come back.

“Let me fix your hair,” Looping her arm gently around his as she pulls him out of the room, making sure to shut the door behind them.

And about ten minutes later Akio’s hair and pulled back tamely in a ponytail almost longer than Yuki’s but it’s her hand that hovers where she usually places a flower. Hesitant because it’s a yellow rose that she holds and she wants Akio to wear for all the thing it symbolizes. Joy, gladness, friendship, delight, and promises of a new beginning. Because if Hiro doesn’t come back this time they’ll have to move anyways. So she tucks it behind his ear gently and she watches how his eyes lift in the mirror to look at it and regardless of how he must be feeling, he smiles. It’s the most genuine one she’s seen in awhile.

❦  ❦  ❦  ❦  ❦

Thirty-two days and counting. Well, maybe not counting. Akio smiles on a regular basis now, doesn’t draw Hiro in the places he would have been, doesn’t bring him up in every conversation or at all really. But Yuki knows he still thinks about him, how can he not?

“We’ve already watched this one.”

“Yeah well, we’re watching it again. It’s one of my favorites.” Yuki sits down next to Akio as the movie starts to play. They’ve been watching plenty of fantasy movies because it’s the next best thing being as far away from reality as possible aside from sleeping. So they’ll take the dragons, the fairies, witches and wizards and imagine they don’t live in the world that they do. In a world where it’s actually been over a month and Hiro hasn’t come back.

They don’t talk much during the movie, movie etiquette of course. But Akio pipes up just halfway through. “Is it supposed to rain today?”

Yuki is squinting her eyes and looking around because why would he suddenly ask- Oh. There’s the window just beyond them that shows the front yard of the house. And to think that Akio would give himself away so easily, through a mundane question about the sky that was growing darker the passing moments.

But she won’t mention it, there’s no need. “I’m not sure but it looks like it.” Answering honestly, she looks over at Akio to see how he’ll react. His hair is shorter (he finally let her cut it) and he’s now traded out the cast for a brace. He really does look better, he even acted like he felt better and it actually fooled Yuki.

All Akio does is hum a reply, sad eyes downcast to his lap but he does what he must’ve been doing these past weeks to fool her. He looks up and gives her a bright smile and gestures towards the screen where the movie still plays. “Are you watching? You’ll miss your favorite part.”

She already did.

Sometime after lunch and just before dinner, Yuki tells Akio she’ll make them a snack because yeah they’re hungry but not enough to eat a full meal. Yuki also felt like it was a good idea to eat something before the rain put them to sleep.

Standing on her tippy toes to reach into the counters for a bowl, usually she recruit Hiro for this kind of stuff but not anymore. It’s not that things had to change because Hiro left it’s because Hiro left that things became changed. He was a vital part to their everyday lives, even if Yuki gave him so much grief, that’s her brother and that couldn’t be sullied by any childish animosity she had towards him.

But some adjustments had to be made. Pulling up a chair from the kitchen table she test it’s stability before climbing up to open a cabinet and pull out a bowl. Yuki is younger than them both and tip toeing around Akio’s feelings has become a bit troublesome for her but it wouldn’t be fair to take it out on someone else.

“Akio, what was it that you wanted again?” She calls back to him in the other room but doesn’t get a reply. “Akio?” Calling out again, putting the bowl in her hand down on the counter just as she see’s him run past her, bumping the kitchen table and she can’t get down from the chair fast enough to keep the vase from falling over. It’s a loud crash that she covers her ears to block but it doesn’t matter now. The front door is hanging wide open and the loud pour of rain barges into the house. Leaping over the mess of water, glass, and flowers she follows Akio to the door but stops when she see’s him crash into a figure wearing a white t-shirt some ways out. And hand comes to her mouth and there are a myriad of emotions that flooding her. She wants to run out into the rain too, but also to fall to her knees and cry because she’s missed him but this moment isn’t for her.

The rocks hurt when they stab the bottoms of his feet, they tell him to slow down and take his time but it’s Hiro. It’s Hiro who stopped walking when he saw Akio come out of the house, barrelling towards him like a frieght train. And there is an impact when Akio finally reaches him, it’s cold and wet and feels very much like the rain. But Akio is solid, he’s actually here. It’s Akio who embraces him before words start spilling and he seems entirely okay that Hiro hasn’t hugged him back. But Hiro isn’t at all okay that he knows that the tears on Akio’s face are because of him, holding him just an arm's length away so he can see and hear everything Akio has to say.

The first thing he noticed before he even reached Hiro was that he was wearing different clothes from when he left and didn’t at all look as disheveled as he could have been and that makes Akio curious as to where he went but now, with him fully here in his arms, he doesn’t want to know. Doesn’t want to hear about what he’s been up to when he wasn’t here. None of that matters.

Akio tries not to cry but his heart doesn’t have the capacity to hold back these feelings anymore. “Why would you leave, Hiro? What good does that do?” He knows Hiro isn’t going to answer. “I’ve already told you that I’m not scared of you but you keep acting like you want to be a monster. Look at this Hiro!” Lifting the arm to show Hiro the brace on his wrist. “It’s healing, Hiro. Wounds heal, you can’t act like I’m broken forever. And you definitely can’t leave like that because it hurts far worse than any broken wrist, arm, or bone would!” And because Hiro hasn’t responded, Akio feels like hitting him for the first time ever.

Hiro’s head falls lower to avoid eye contact. “You act like I didn’t hurt you, it could’ve been worse. That’s what you don’t get, Akio.”

“No, Hiro,” His tone is soft again but loud enough to be heard above the rain. “You did hurt me, I get it but I know for a fact you didn’t do it on purpose so I have no reason to be scared of you or to want you gone. And I will never want those things because I know you’d never hurt me on purpose.”

“How do you know I wouldn’t?”

“Because I’d like to think I know you, Hiro. This has nothing to do with any other accident before.” A warning, to keep Hiro from saying what he knows he’s going to. “I’m fine, okay? It isn’t fair for you to just leave because you think it’s the right thing to do. Not having you here was unbearable and you fooling yourself into thinking that I don’t want to see you is unnecessary. No matter what it is, neither of us deserves to hurt as badly as we have.” Akio brings him in again, hoping maybe he’ll hug him back this time.

Yuki is still standing in the doorway with a hand over her mouth, unable to hear anything Akio is saying above the rain. She’d feel like she were intruding if she did but she could tell Akio was angry or whatever that emotion was to him. A moment after Akio hugs Hiro again and he doesn’t respond, Yuki’s heart sinks, assuming the worst, that Hiro has surely convinced himself he can’t be forgiven for what he’s done. But he wouldn’t come back if that were the case.

Akio is going to have a cold for sure tomorrow and it’ll all be dumbass Hiro’s fault. She’s just about to yell for him to come back but Akio moves his head where his forehead rest against Hiro shoulders and this way she can’t tell if he’s saying anything at all. But whatever happened did something amazing. As slow as they may be moving, Hiro’s arm come up around Akio smaller waist and squeeze as though he’d never want to let go. Yuki takes a step back into the house to hide behind the door frame, feeling like she’s peeping from a hundred feet away. When she can see them again Akio is smiling, a smile she’s seen countless times. Both real and fake but this was clearly real. Her own smile that has showed itself few and far between the past month radiates through the stormy weather.

“Welcome home, Hiro.”

[esdeem]

Anchors, an Overwatch Fanfic

Okay, I’m going to preface this by saying I’ve not done much revision work at all on this, so I apologize for any egregious errors in grammar, characterization, lore or quantum mechanics. I felt really inspired so I just let it flow. I might pick at it a bit and post it a few other places.

It’s inspired by this amazing artwork here and I hope this little fic tribute does it justice. Also there’s not nearly enough Lena/Emily stuff out there and I’m hoping we get to see more of their relationship in the future, as I think it’s really cute. (And yes, I really do think the two of them would be big Disney nerds.)

Author rambling out of the way, here’s the story. I hope you like it!

-----

Winston stopped marking the passage of time in hours, day or weeks. Instead, he counted how many jars of peanut butter lay strewn across his desk, and how many white boards he'd filled with calculations. Presently, those numbers stood at fourteen and six. Soon, he'd have to start raiding other offices to keep up with the workload.

“You are working yourself toward an eventual sugar crash,” a voice called out from the computer speakers.

“I'll deal with that later, Athena.” Winston mumbled, chewing on the cap of the erasable marker in his hand. “I don't imagine anyone's come up with any major breakthroughs in the unified theory in the last few days, have they?”

“There are currently no new academic papers to that effect,” Athena replied. “There is a man in Wisconsin with some new ideas, but in my opinion they rely too heavily upon Doctor Who and the Terminator franchise.”

“Which ones?”

“Genisys.”

“Ugh.” He scribbled a few more calculations, though perhaps Athena had a point. The details of quantum chemistry had grown fuzzy, and he noticed with embarrassment that he'd assumed a superfluid in the current design behaved as a Bose-Einstein condensation, which of course was foolish. He erased the details with his forearm and grumbled. Literally back to the drawing board--

“Winston,” Athena interrupted. “You asked to be informed when Ms. Oxton reappeared--”

She didn't even finish, as Winston dropped the marker and bounded out the door, and down to the main lab floor.

* * *

The gorilla rested his hand on one fist, a brow arched high. “Really.”

“Cross my heart, love. Saw him pull it out of the stone and everything.”

“And they couldn't see you?”

“Think they were all a little distracted, what with the whole next King of England being chosen. Funny way to pick a king that, don't you think?”

“Lena, you know the whole King Arthur story was a myth, right?” Winston smirked. “And if he really existed, he wouldn't have been anything like the old stories.”

“Okay, fine, you got me. It was just a field again, nothing really happened.” She sighed, her shoulders slumping. “Y'know, a real friend would nod and smile.”

“I know, it's just... I keep hoping if I know when you're going, it would help me figure out a solution.”

“You don't want to hear it big guy, but maybe there's just... not a solution?”

“It's funny,” Winston said, ambling over closer to the containment field. “I seem to remember a member of Overwatch who believed in taking in a refugee from the moon and protected him from other people who claimed he was just a company asset. Someone who believed in his value, no matter what anyone else said.” He pushed his glasses back up and smiled. “You never gave up on me, Lena. I won't give up on you either.”

“Awww, you big lug. You're gonna make me cry.” She giggled, but then stood up and looked at a small table the others set up for her, where a simple picture frame sat. She remembered the day they took the photo, their first day in any of the six parks. The silver, geodesic  sphere behind them glowed in the Florida sun, but paled in comparison to the smile on the red haired woman's face. She'd dreamed of that vacation most of her life, and Lena hadn't told her until the day they boarded a plane for the United States. The trip had been almost perfect, save for the hurricane scare at the end. They'd not had a chance to see the Magic Kingdom itself, and to see the reveal of the majestic castle at its center. She promised to take them back one day....

She could close her eyes and see that smile, smell that perfume she always teased her about but secretly loved. If she tried, she could even remember the softness of her fingertips pressing against hers and the warmth of her embrace on a cold winter's day.

“You still don't want us to contact her?”

She reached for the frame, but her fingers passed through it. With a sigh, she reached into the pocket of her flight jacket, and her fingers closed across a small box, one of the few things she could still touch.

“She's better off not knowing about this, Winston. I'd rather she move on with her life, rather than keep holding out for a cure that might not happen.”

* * *

“It's safe?”

“Well, there's not really any guarantees, that's why they call the job test pilot, silly. But you know I've done a bunch of these already, right?”

“That,” Emily said, a crooked smile on her face, “Is a glorious attempt at sugar coating things.”

“I happen to know that someone likes their coffee with sugar and cream, so I tell her things the same way.”

Emily gave Lena's shoulder a playful shove. “You're terrible.”

“Guilty, but what does that say for you, then?”

“That I'm more attracted to your looks that your moral character?”

“How salacious!” Lena smirked, but then took hold of Emily's hands. “You know you're technically not supposed to know this, but if this works then we're going to save the lives of hundreds of pilots. And not just fighter pilots! Imagine if you put that in a commercial plane. They start to have engine trouble, they can just teleport it back to an airport for a safe landing.”

“Well then, Ms. Oxton,” Emily said, and squeezed her hands gently, “I shouldn't keep you from your mission to save the world.”

“Someone has to, right?” Lena reluctantly let go of her hands.“Oh, by the way? You might want to get dressed up while I'm off doing this. Someone might have scored reservations at Alain Ducasse at the Dorchester.”

Emily's eyes grew large. “You must really be expecting this test flight to go well.”

“Just a hunch, love.”

“I'll be ready,” she said, and let out a soft laugh. “I'm glad you told me, though. Usually you love springing things like that as a surprise.”

“Oh, maybe I'm turning over a new leaf.” Lena said, and pushed one hand into her pocket, and let her hand close around a small box inside. Silly Emily, to think she didn't have another surprise up her sleeve.

Emily had almost finished getting ready when Jack Morrison called with the news that the Slipstream vanished without a trace. And as the light swallowed the plane and its pilot, Lena Oxton's fingers closed around that same box as she apologized to Emily for missing their date.

* * *

“It's Higgs,” Winston announced. “Or more precisely, the Higgs Field. Whatever happens to Tracer during the accident, it prevents the bosons in her body from interacting with the Higgs Field. It's amazing, actually, because we had no idea that mass affected how we interact with time, and that does lead to some interesting implications for future research--”

“Winston? Focus.”

“Ahem, right. Sorry. We know how it happens, now we just have to figure out how to fix it.”

Angela Ziegler pressed a finger to her lips as she looked over the notes. Winston had done his best to simplify things, but the baffling world of quantum mechanics still provided a powerful obstacle. Lena Oxton's condition stood at a complex intersection of advanced biology and theoretical physics, and thus far attempts to combine the two fields proved frutiless.

To say nothing of the more practical concerns, which McCree once less than eloquently summed up as the pair discussed it with him in the room.

“Hard to give a shot to a ghost, ain't it?”

Dr. Ziegler still wasn't even sure how Lena had survived, since she'd not eaten anything in months. Perhaps the phenomenon that unmoored her from time halted the biological processes of her body. It made little sense, but to be fair nothing about this situation made any sense at all. She'd run a variety of simulations, but none of them came close to duplicating Lena's results.

And just like a shot, it wasn't as though she could take a sample of Lena's blood to study, either.

“If we could just bring her back in sync with our world, even for a moment...” she said aloud.

“I've tried a few different things,” Winston admitted. “But we never even know how long of an experimental window we have. She's vanished in mid conversation more often that not.” He jotted another formula on the board, stared at it a moment then marked it out hastily, growling.

“We have to be patient, Winston. If we give it enough time--”

With a roar, Winston punched the white board, sending it flying across the room. His skin started to turn red, electricity flaring around his eyes. “You know the numbers as well as I do! It's not predictable, but the mean amount of time she spends in our world is decreasing. If we don't hurry, she'll... she'll...”

Dr. Ziegler put an arm on his shoulder. “I know, Winston. And I know what she means to you. But your anger won't help her. Just... please calm down. We can't do this without you.”

Winston slowed his breathing, and slowly his skin started to return to normal. “I... I'm sorry. But we can't... I can't lose her.”

“I know. That's why you need to control yourself.”

The gorilla walked over to the white board and picked it up again. “I only wish Lena could control this, like the others can control their abilities.”

“Have you asked her to try?”

“Of course, but it doesn't work, at least not consistently. She's been able to phase in enough to move things just a little, but it never lasts.” Winston sighed. “Sometimes I wonder if McCree's right, and we shouldn't just call in a ghost researcher.”

“I don't know what's scarier, that you're considering ghost researchers legitimate scientists, or the fact the words 'McCree's right' just came out of your mouth.”

“It's not like we're having any better luck with our science.” Winston stared at the board again. “Of course, they'd say she was haunting this facility, or was even some kind of haunted thing.”

“There are haunted things?”

“Oh, all kinds of haunted items. Usually really old, and associated with some kind of tragedy in the past. Usually it's stuff like paintings or dresses. Oh, and dolls. Lots and lots of dolls.”

Dr. Ziegler said nothing, and Winston finally looked up to see the incredulous look she was giving him.

“Look, it gets really boring some nights here, and they play a lot of those shows at night,” he said. “But it's not like Lena's haunting us. She's very much alive, and it's not like she...”

Winston stopped speaking, the marker leaving a long streak on the white board. “That's it.”

Dr. Ziegler waited a moment to respond. “You need sleep, doctor's orders.”

“No no, I don't mean we call in the ghost people. But maybe that's what we've been missing.”

“What's that?”

“We've been focusing on curing Lena, and maybe she's right. Maybe that can't be done.” Winston wiped away the calculations and, instead of writing more, he started to sketch out a design. “But what if we didn't have to? What if, like a haunted object, there was something that kept Lena here? Like... a device that served as an anchor, pulling the Higgs field back toward her?”

“Then we could try to figure out a permanent cure.”

“There's just one problem,” he said. “I might be able to extend the field once it activated, but... she'd need to be wearing it first.”

“Which would require a greater control over her state than she currently possesses. I don't imagine you have any ideas on how to help her do that?”

Winston stared at the sketch and tapped the marker against the board. He turned to the side, lost in thought. As fate would have it, he found himself looking at a picture he and Lena had taken together, one that always stood next to his work station. Slowly, a smile passed over his face.

“You know why all those silly shows about ghosts said that some people stayed behind to haunt things?”

“I can't believe we're having this conversation, but why?”

“Because they had a reason to stay.”

It took her a moment, but once Dr. Ziegler understood, she smiled as well. They had a second, more important anchor after all.

* * *

When she was eight years old, Lena broke her left leg and right foot leaping from the top of a playground slide pretending she was a super hero. It happened only a day after the end of her summer term, and she spent her entire summer holiday between her bed and the sofa in the living room while she could hear the laughter and excitement from her friends outside. She longed to escape the house and rejoin them, but her parents said in no uncertain terms that super hero games would be off limits when she did.

Well, they said no playing but they never said no dreaming. Armed with notebook, pencil and pen she started to document her adventures as a super hero that could do a whole lot more than jump off playground equipment. In her version of things, Lena could copy the powers of other heroes by touching them. Really, it just gave her an excuse to use whatever power struck her fancy in the moment. She never gave the hero a name, until a friend visited and saw a drawing she copied from one of the books.

“That's not really yours,” they teased. “You just traced it.”

“What's wrong with being a tracer?”

The name stuck, and Tracer even became her call sign as a test pilot.

Those memories came back to Lena often since the accident, since both times she found herself unable to do much. Sometimes she'd reappear in the dead of night and beg Athena not to wake anyone, since she might vanish. She rarely found herself anywhere interesting during her time jumps, and never stayed there long enough to even see much, let alone start a decent conversation. Maybe she didn't have a notebook to record it all, but she could still dream.

Of course, a lot of her dreams dealt with food. Instead of rushing into a burning building to save the day, Lena imagined dropping off by the pub for a quick drink or a favorite spot for a bite to eat. Today, she went back to an old favorite. She used to stop by her favorite chippy at least once a week, where they always fried the fish while you waited. Little spots of oil singed your fingertips even through the paper. Then we went to the condiment stand, where she added the right amount of malt vinegar... or as her friends put it, “nearly drowned everything in it”. The aroma of the beer batter mingled with the tang of the vinegar.. it made Lena's mouth water just thinking about it.

She'd been just about to bite into the imaginary plank of fish when footsteps echoed from behind her. With a soft sigh, she stood up. “Can't a girl have just a few minutes to dream before you start running more tests?”

“...Lena?”

She froze.

“Lena, is that really you?”

Her fists balled up, and she drew in a halting breath. For the first time since the accident she felt afraid, and it kept her from turning around or even looking over her shoulder. The uncertain future, the increasing doubts of Winston and Dr. Ziegler, even the days when hope all but faded away, she could handle that. But seeing a look of pain on her face, knowing something she'd done brought tears to that beautiful face...

“You can hear me, can't you?”

It still took her a minute to find her voice. “You're still wearing that awful perfume, aren't you?”

“The one you gave me a bottle of for Christmas last year? Of course.”

“Only because you like the stuff, and I was daft enough to support you.” The silence hung between them a moment. “I didn't want you to see me like this, Em.”

“Your doctor explained it to me,” Emily said. “I don't understand it completely, but... I'm here now.”

“Truth is, I really hoped you'd get on with your life. Forget about me, move forward, maybe even start dating again and find someone a bit more normal. I can handle this burden, but I... I wanted you to be happy.”

“Happy.” Emily's voice drew closer. “I thought I knew what that meant, but then I met you. Hearing you giggle at my silly jokes, or make fun of how my hair looked in the morning, or hugging me after a long day at the office. Lena, it's hard to move on with my life when you are my life.”

“Em...” She still couldn't bring herself to turn around.

“You remember how you always made me a cake from scratch for my birthday, and insisted on putting the candles on it? I hadn't done that since I was a little girl, but you always made me blow out the candles and make a wish before I could eat it? That's what you brought me. You made me realize how special, how magical life really is. I did it again this year, and I made a wish again. You know what I wished for?”

“You know if you tell me--”

“I know, but I'll give you a hint,” Emily said, her voice starting to waver. “You just need to turn around.”

Dammit. Lena looked to the ground and closed her eyes, then slowly turned to face her. With a deep breath to steel herself, she opened her eyes once more. To her surprise, Emily wore a beautiful emerald green dress, her red hair cascading around her shoulders. And while her cheeks shone with tears, there wasn't a hint of pain on her face. Instead, she rewarded Lena with that perfect smile, the one she dreamed about seeing so often.

“See? You just made it come true.”

“You look amazing.”

“You think so?” A flush of red splashed across her cheeks. “It's... what I was going to wear that night.”

“And suddenly, I'm even more upset about the accident.” She giggled, and even drew a small chuckle from Emily as well. “I've missed you.”

“It's really quiet without you around. Believe it or not, I'm starting to hate it.”

“You might regret saying that some day.”

“If I'm lucky.” Emily reached a hand out.

“You can't actually touch me, you know.”

“I know, but someone taught me that it's okay to just dream sometimes.”

Lena lifted her hand. Truth be told, she dreamed of this often as well. She missed the little things, like just walking down the street with their hands locked together. Like the rest of her, her fingers had taken on a blueish glow, translucent enough to just see Emily's fingers through her own. They drew closer together, as she tried to stop just enough to make certain Emily's hand didn't pass through hers, to provide a stark reminder of how desperate her situation truly was. Closer, closer...

They touched.

...they touched.

Emily's fingertips pressed gently against hers, and the glow faded. She trailed her fingers down Emily's, to her palm. Wrapping her hand around hers, she gave it a gentle squeeze.

“I'm back,” Lena whispered. “You brought me back.”

Somehow, Emily's smile grew even more radiant than before. “See? I told you I wasn't going to let go of you so easily.”

With one swift motion, Lena drew close and pulled Emily into a tight hug. Both women started to sob as they held the embrace, Lena's head resting on her shoulder as she cried. After a moment, Lena lifted her head up and whispered into her ear.

“There's something I need to tell you,” she said.

“I'm not going anywhere.”

“This is hard to admit, but...” Lena bit her lip. “It was a box mix. Every year. I'm a lousy cook.”

Emily kissed her cheek. “I think I might be able to forgive you.”

* * *

“We can make adjustments as needed,” Winston said as Lena pulled at one of the straps that held the bulky contraption in place. “After it activates, the field generator will route the bosons in your body to the local portion of the Higgs field. I call it a chronal accelerator because--”

“Winston, love, I know you find all this really amazing,” she said. “But you lost me way back at 'It's simple physics'. Pretty much, I turn on the Matrix of Leadership here and I'm anchored back in the real world full time?”

“Yes, and there might be some interesting applications we can test down the line. More importantly, after it's been activated you won't have to wear it all the time. As long as you're in close proximity to the device and it still has power, you'll remain connected to our time.”

“Good thing, that. Would've made showers and changing clothes really awkward.”

“I did make it waterproof,” Winston said and pushed his glasses up with one finger. “I know how much it rains in London, after all.”

“Well, guess we'll give this thing a shot.”

“You'll probably want Emily in here with you,” Winston said, and glanced back to the lab's control room. “I should--”

“Stay here. You're as much a part of this as anyone.”

“She doesn't know about me yet, Lena. She'll think I'm like the others, and be afraid...”

“And then she'll get to know you, and love you like the rest of us do.”

“Like Reyes?”

“Difference is, Emily's not a raging asshole.”

“Point taken. I just, um, don't want to ruin the moment.”

“Okay, let me put it another way,” Lena said and jabbed a finger into Winston's chest. “If you so much as think about hiding in that control room, I will kick your butt.”

He sighed and took a few steps back. “Fine.” He pressed a button on his wrist comm. “Dr. Ziegler, we're ready to activate the accelerator. If you'd sent Emily in please.”

It took only a minute for Emily to make her way into the lab. She walked over to Lena, but stopped in her tracks when she saw the massive form of Winston standing across from them. She stared, and Winston could only manage a weak wave.

“Uh, hello. I'm Winston.”

Emily finally turned away from him, and to Lena. “Amazing. You weren't lying about the gorilla scientist.”

“Wait, you told her about me?”

“Before the accident even. Oops.”

“You are a walking security risk.”

“Guilty.” Inhaling sharply, she looked down at the chronal accelerator. “So, shall we turn this thing on?”

“If you're ready.”

She grabbed Emily's hands and gently squeezed them, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Now I'm ready.”

“You should take a few steps back, miss,” Winston warned.

Emily nodded and walked beside him. Lena pressed the buttons in the sequence Winston told her, and the center of the accelerator sparked to life with a faint blue glow. Seconds later, she felt a strange wave pulse through her body. At first, everything around her seemed to move it slow motion, then sped up even faster than normal. After a few more seconds, a pulse from the accelerator bathed the room in blue light. Lena looked at the device, then to Emily and Winston. The gorilla moved to a nearby terminal and started hitting buttons.

“Am I supposed to feel any different?”

“I don't know, but all the readouts seem good. Did you experience anything strange when you turned it on.”

“Like the real world acting like I hit rewind and fast forward on a movie?”

Winston grinned. “The blink and recall functions worked at start up! You're going to like those, but we can talk about them later. Now that you're stable, I'm sure Dr. Ziegler will want to run a few tests. You might have to follow her around, since your blood will be just as unstable as the rest of her, but it shouldn't take too long.”

“Fine, but first things first.” She threw her arms open. “Hug time!”

Emily ran over and fell into her arms. Winston turned away to give them privacy.

A second later, he heard Lena clear her throat. “Winston?”

He turned to see both Lena and Emily with their arms stretched out to him.

“Huh?”

“You're the one who brought her back,” Emily said. “So you're a part of this hug too.”

“But I--”

“You're my best friend, you big lug. So get over here before I drag you into it.”

With a smile, he walked over and gently wrapped his arms around the two. It would be the first of many he'd share with his new family.

* * *

She'd booked the trip only a week after the accelerator tests proved successful, though this time she let Emily in on their plans a little sooner.

“I decided maybe Ducasse wasn't really our speed,” she said as she showed Emily the plane tickets to Orlando.

“Not surprising me this time? You're losing your touch, Ms. Oxton.”

Silly Emily, underestimating her like that.

Getting her out of bed that morning proved the most daunting challenge, as Emily hit the snooze button at least five times before Lena finally gave up and pushed her off the side of the bed. A few beignets from the food court bought her forgiveness. Emily didn't even bat an eye as a private town car pulled up in front of their hotel and whisked them away to the park, long before the gates opened to the public.

“Commander Morrison knows some people,” Lena said, and Emily accepted it without question.

Save a few cast members, it was empty as they walked down through the gates and turned the corner. Lena didn't take her eyes off Emily's face as the castle revealed itself in the distance, framed by the shops of Main Street. Lena squeezed her hand softly.

“What do you think?”

“It's amazing!”

“We should get a picture, shouldn't we?” Lena said, and winked to the photographer behind her.

“Oh, of course!”

She never saw it coming, maybe because Lena just hugged her for the first two pictures. The photographer directed them for the next show, getting Emily in just the right position.

“And Ms. Oxton, I think you know your pose.”

She reached into her pocket, for the box she'd held onto since the day of the accident. She pulled it out just as she dropped to one knee and opened it to reveal the ring inside.

“Surprise,” she said with a sheepish grin.

The next picture was Emily answering that question with a kiss.